VOLUME 1: ISSUE 18 - JULY 31 -AUGUST 13, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM
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EDITORIAL
ASSOCIATE EDITOR • Courtney Mihocik cmihocik@qcnerve.com STAFF WRITER • Pat Moran pmoran@qcnerve.com
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NEWS & CULTURE
6 Gems From the Rough by Ryan Pitkin Emerald School of Excellence pulls kids from path of addiction 4 Editor’s Note by Ryan Pitkin 8 Get Fit with Britt by Brittney Pereda 8 The Seeker by Katie Grant 9 The Scanner by Ryan Pitkin
ARTS
10 American Documentarian by Courtney Mihocik Rosalia Torres-Weiner combines art, apps and activism 12 Gather ‘Round by Courtney Mihocik Sozo Gallery makes room to get together with new exhibit
LIFELINE
14 How not to kill your social life
MUSIC
16 Rapid Growth and Rapids Shows by Pat Moran Whitewater’s Confluence fest mixes musical currents 18 Soundwave
FOOD & DRINK
22 Pops, Pappy and the ABC by Ben Jarrell Cover Design by: Bartenders work to bring exclusive whiskey programs to Charlotte Dana Vindigni 24 The Buzz PHOTO BY JAYME JOHNSON
NIGHTLIFE
26 Tips From Last Night by Justin Zalewski 26 Sudoku 27 Crossword 28 Horoscope 30 Savage Love
EDITOR’S NOTE THE MONSTER IS NO MYTH
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On the front lines of the opioid crisis BY RYAN PITKIN
Sitting in a banquet hall in the Ballantyne Hotel on June 13, it was clear that — despite how much it may sometimes seem like Mary Ferreri is on a mission all on her own — she has an entire community behind her. As I wrote about in this issue’s cover story, Mary has spearheaded the effort to bring the Carolinas’ first recovery school to Charlotte, and more than two years after she made that her mission, she will finally see all her hard work come to fruition at a ribbon cutting for her Emerald School of Excellence on Aug. 17. Mary’s operation is small. The school is located in a church in east Charlotte, and basically consists of a single hallway with six classrooms, two of which will be used mainly by staff. Ferreri expects less than 10 students in her first class, which doesn’t seem like much, but it’s a start. Not many people at the Emerald School fundraiser luncheon in June had to be convinced of the importance of a recovery school, which serves students who are struggling with substance use disorder between the ages of 13 and 20, because most of them had been affected by addiction in some way or another. One woman had recently lost her son to an overdose after he took pills he didn’t know anything about. Another woman told about how her daughter had developed a heroin addiction at 16 years old and had spent so much time in recovery in six years since that she only lived at home for four months. Another woman talked about her own addiction — how she became addicted to pills in high school and would show up to class so high that she’d regularly have to spend the day in the nurse’s office sleeping it off. Though that woman grew up in New Bern, Mary told similar stories about students she taught during her time as a health and fitness teacher in Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools. So with recovery schools showing objective success in cities around the country, why has it taken so long to get one in Charlotte? I graduated out of the CMS system 15 years ago, and I know from experience that the crisis in our schools is nothing new. Weed, ecstasy and pain pills were everywhere at my school. I ran in crowds that dabbled with all of it, and I was lucky not to have picked up that penchant
for addiction. But I have friends who weren’t so lucky, and I watched helplessly as things only got worse for them after high school. Since then, I’ve lost two friends to heroin overdoses and two friends to pain pill overdoses. So why isn’t more being done locally to address these issues at a young age, before young people find themselves too far gone down the road of addiction? According to multiple people I spoke with while reporting, the stigma around addiction is especially strong in Charlotte and the South in general. Betsy Ragone, whose son Michael died of a heroin overdose in 2016, told me that she often thinks of how she tried to save face and salvage her family’s reputation while Michael struggled, when she could have spent that time on the actual fight in front of her. “I always look back and think if I knew then what I know now, I don’t know that I could have saved my son, because this is bigger than anyone, but I know that a lot of my behavior might have been [different]. Instead of punitive I would have been a little bit more inclusive and brought this to light as being the disease it was, not a character flaw or a moral failure,” Betsy told me. “I would have been more restorative in a lot of my conversations with him, because I really thought he had a choice just to stop, but when they’re that far in they don’t have that choice anymore.” Betsy launched Michael’s Voice just six months after her son’s death. She now helps the families of people struggling with addiction as they grapple with how to come to terms with this “monster,” as Betsy calls it. For some, the shame does not go away even after the monster has taken a loved one. “It is something that I still see it in the rooms with people. ‘I left the country club because I didn’t want people to know,’” Betsy told me one night as she left a Michael’s Voice support group. “We’re embarrassed over situations in death, we’re stigmatized, and we’re losing a generation. So Mary’s on the front lines of saving a generation. It sounds dramatic, but it’s true.” Not dramatic, just bold, and we need more people like Betsy and Mary making bold moves in if we want to stand a chance against the monster. RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM
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GEMS FROM THE ROUGH
Emerald School of Excellence pulls kids from path of addiction
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E
BY RYAN PITKIN
VERY NOW and then a city will have this experience — it all sort of feels like an epidemic or a tidal wave come through your city — that can get the city’s attention,” Sasha McLean says in the 2016 documentary Generation Found. “Unfortunately that normally looks like a lot of young people dying, and all of the sudden the community kind of wakes up. Instead of ignoring the problem, we really start looking at it, and it’s painful to see.” McLean is explaining the experience she and city leaders in Houston went through that led to her cofounding Archway Academy, one of eight recovery schools in Texas that serve students struggling with substance use disorder. In the Carolinas, it appears the community is still sleeping. Despite the fact that overdose numbers among youth continue to rise in both states — there were 759 reported drug overdoses among people younger than 25 years old between May 1, 2017, and April 30, 2018 in Mecklenburg County alone — neither North nor South Carolina is home to a recovery school. At a ribbon cutting for the new Emerald School of Excellence in east Charlotte on August 17, Mary Ferreri will change that. A former health and fitness teacher and coach in Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools, Ferreri became burnt out by what she saw every day among students. At Butler High School, she led the school’s D.R.E.A.M. Team, a group of student athletes that commit to being drug-, alcohol-, tobacco- and violence-free, and while that experience inspired
her, she couldn’t turn away from the rampant drug use that other students boasted about. “I just really started to see how big the problem was, how things were getting covered up, and nobody was talking about it,” Ferreri said. In 2016, Ferreri had been meeting regularly with a small group of concerned parents and teachers to discuss the substance abuse issues they knew to be plaguing their schools. They eventually began to get disgruntled with the lack of action. “We had many conversations there, getting to know some parents that had lost their kids, and we were kind of frustrated,” Ferreri recalled. “We were invited constantly to all these conference roundtable discussions of coalition meetings about what should we do and whatever. We were just like, ‘We’ve been talking about the same things for months. Nobody’s doing anything. So what can we do?’” That’s when a trailer for Generation Found came across one of Ferreri’s social media feeds. The trailer was so powerful that she set up a screening at a local theater without having seen the film in its entirety. Ferreri cried through the whole film. She knew before she walked out of the theater what her new mission would be: open a recovery school in Charlotte.
Mary Ferreri (right) and a volunteer in the Emerald School of Excellence in June.
abusing pain pills like Vicodin and Xanax. Once he graduated high school, Michael quickly moved out from under Betsy’s roof and things worsened. Though he admitted his Xanax use to her, she didn’t know that he had become addicted to heroin following a knee surgery around the age of 19. He secretly struggled with his heroin addiction for more than a decade before admitting it to his mother in late 2015. She was blindsided. Three months later, in January 2016, he died of a heroin overdose. In June 2016, Betsy launched Michael’s Voice, an advocacy and support organization for families who have lost loved ones to addiction. She has also served on boards for the Emerald School, helping Ferreri with documents and filings. While Betsy admits that there are no guarantees with substance use disorder, she knows that if Michael had options like Emerald School when he left Amethyst, there is a better chance that he could still be alive today. “The statistics around kids going back to the same people, places or things are horrific,” Ragone said. “They go back to the place where they got their drugs or they were trying to be part of a peer group where this is the cool thing. That stuff’s around in our high schools, the districts where we live ... and they don’t want to own it, that it’s a big deal. It’s a problem. So parents will have a choice with Mary’s school, and it’s going to save lives, period.”
ACCORDING TO the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, nine out of 10 adults struggling with substance abuse started using before the age of 18. Some in the recovery community have complained for decades about the lack of intensive treatment services for youth in the Charlotte area, and although those options have increased in recent years, attention is now shifting to what options those young people have when they leave treatment. According to a study by the Peabody Journal of Education, nearly 70% of students who attend recovery and then return to their school relapse in less than six months. When Betsy Ragone learned that her son Michael was smoking marijuana at age 13, she checked him into the now-closed Amethyst substance abuse treatment center. Ragone said many of her friends and fellow parents told her she was overreacting. “It scared me, and I put him in an outpatient rehab treatment and people laughed at me,” she said. “They said, ‘Well, it’s just pot,’ and I said, ‘No, he’s 13 years old.’” After leaving Amethyst, Michael went back to the same school he attended and the same friends he had always hung out with. On the outside, THE FIRST recovery schools opened in the late 1970s he was a normal kid, active on the wrestling and and mid ’80s, although the concept didn’t become football teams. But he and his friends were regularly popular until the 2000s. In 2001, there were only
PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN
five recovery schools in the United States. Today there are more than 40. Studies put the relapse rate for students who go into recovery schools at around 30%, compared to the 70% rate faced by students returning to their original schools. Emerald School, like many recovery schools, will serve students between the ages of 13-20. The school will use Edgenuity, a customizable online curriculum for students ranging from 6th through 12th grade. Located in a side building at Memorial United Methodist Church on Central Avenue, the school will open its doors for the first day of the 2019-20 school year on Aug. 26 with a small first class — Ferreri expects between five and 10 students to enroll. The school serves students with at least 30 days of sobriety and will run on a foundation of three principles: faith, fellowship and fitness. As with many 12-step programs, the “faith” factor is not rooted in any specific religion, but in the belief in something bigger and more powerful than one’s self, Ferreri said. Fellowship refers to peer-led recovery support, which will be the school’s top priority. The first hour of each school day will be dedicated to recovery support, which consists of students simply getting together and discussing what they’ve been going through, celebrating each other’s victories and helping each other through struggles. After that, things will function much like a normal school, with a block schedule that covers math, science, arts, social studies, English and the like. As the student population grows, Ferreri plans to separate students between upperclassmen and
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lowerclassmen, but in the meantime, the online curriculum will allow everyone to learn together at their respective levels. Covering the fitness aspect of the school’s foundation, the school day will be broken up by workouts and “movement breaks,” during which students will have the freedom to take part in whatever physical activity they are comfortable with. Ferreri was inspired by her experience as a student athlete and years as a health and fitness teacher, but also by a book titled Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, which taught her about the effects of exercise on mental wellness. The book put into perspective Ferreri’s childhood experience with depression and eating disorders. As a public school teacher, she had become jaded by the tendency for school systems to cut physical education when funds got low. “There were a lot of things that just were not making sense, like we don’t need less P.E., we need more P.E.,” she said. “It’s so important for [students] to have some ownership for that component, because otherwise we’re pushing people away from being physically active, but that is a huge component to our mental and overall wellness.” EMERALD IS a private school, and though Ferreri plans to pursue grants, the first year will be funded exclusively through private donors and tuition. The annual price to serve one student at a private school is more than double that of a public school student ($8-10,000 compared to $20-24,000, respectively) and Emerald School students will have a $1,000-a-month tuition during the first year. Ferreri hopes to lessen that in the years to come by offering scholarships. In an ideal future she will have enough funding to offer full scholarships to all of her students, but her short-term goal is to have income-based tuition, with one-third of her students paying full, one-third paying half and onethird paying low-to-no tuition. Though Ferreri has faced criticism for making Emerald School a private school, she insists that it was the only way to get the school off the ground successfully while also allowing the school to serve students from across the Carolinas. Though recovery schools have been popping up across the country, a quick glance at a map of existing schools shows a disparity in the southeast. Ridgecrest Academy in Nashville, Tennessee, and River Oak Center in Jacksonville, Florida, are the only members of the Association of Recovery Schools in the region. Ferreri, who grew up in New York, said that in her experience, the stigma around substance abuse is
Ferreri with one of four murals in the school custom-painted by local artist Abstract Dissent.
stronger in the South than other parts of the country. When we met at Emerald School in June, Ferreri was visibly affected by her experience since leaving CMS and diving headfirst into the recovery community. Multiple times she paused, then prefaced a statement by saying, “I hate to say this, but it’s true,” before continuing her fulmination against the apathy she’s seen in response to substance abuse among local youth. “I think that sometimes, we don’t know what to do,” she said. “I think that the crisis is so much bigger than people want to admit it is and how many people are affected. This is to me a complete dedication of your entire life to this work, and I think people are afraid of doing that, committing their whole life, and that’s what it takes to save somebody and to keep them through constant recovery support services.” In the local recovery community, Ferreri has found a family willing to fight alongside her. Her passion is exceeded only by people like Donald McDonald, a Raleigh-based recovery activist who serves on Emerald School’s board of directors. At a recent fundraiser luncheon for the school at Ballantyne Hotel, McDonald gave a passionate speech that lasted more than 30 minutes, flipping from humor to a more serious tone. As he wrapped his speech, he
yelled into the microphone in frustration at those he felt were still holding back the conversation around treatment for substance use disorder. “I want you to leave here today and not engage in the conversations: ‘Is addiction an illness or a choice?’ Shut up, flat earther! Not today, Satan! No. We’re beyond that conversation!,” he exclaimed. “Smash the stigma surrounding the illness, end the discrimination against our people, our families. Rally around common sense treatments and support services. This is ground zero for an epidemic of compassion and hope.” Ragone also hopes that Emerald School can be the beginning of a new awakening around substance abuse and young people. When I asked why she thought North Carolina didn’t yet have a recovery school, Ragone said leaders throughout the state have been keeping their “heads in the sand” when it comes to youth substance abuse. “Two words: stigma and shame,” she answered me, “and [Ferreri is] busting the ceiling. It’s stigma and shame and not wanting to own that this is a major problem that we could put money into on the preventative side, not just try to fix what’s broken after it’s too late and they’re majorly addicted and the course of their life is dismal. [Emerald School] changes that trajectory.”
PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN
Ferreri’s fight is an overwhelming one. She latches on to each story of perseverance, because she knows she can’t save everyone. As much as she’s accomplished by simply opening Emerald School, there’s always the feeling that so many others will fall through the cracks. It’s both the highs and the lows that drive Ferreri on her life’s quest to reach as many people as she can, but she needs more help than she’s currently getting. “I hate to say this, but the way we operate in our society is X amount of people need to die before real change happens,” she said, echoing McLean’s sentiments in Generation Found. “I think that we’re actually at a point now in North Carolina where enough people are pissed off that too many people have died. What makes me so mad is that it takes X amount of people dying first before we provide resources, instead of learning. If you look at other states, they suffered what we’re heading towards, and this is what they’ve done to fix it, so why on Earth wouldn’t we do it sooner?” You have to start somewhere, though, and for Ferreri, that starting point comes on Aug. 26 when a small group of kids walks through her doors into a school founded on principles of acceptance, patience and hope. RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM
GET FIT WITH BRITT
THE SEEKER
DROP THE SCIENCE
The NEAT math behind how every step gets you to your goals
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Stand-up paddleboard yoga is a cool new exercise BY KATIE GRANT
BY BRITTNEY PEREDA
‘‘I CAN JUST LOOK at food and gain weight!” It would seem that a wide variety of the population now-a-days has extremely slow metabolism, bad genetics or serious hormonal issues. Sure, there are people with endocrine system dysfunction or other health problems that cause weight gain or make it difficult to lose weight, but for the most part, the individuals who complain about their “slow metabolism” either don’t even understand what having a slow metabolism really means and or don’t actually have a metabolism issue — they have a movement issue. A lack of daily movement. “But I go to my boot camp class every single day. I am super active!” The last thing I want to do is deny you of your efforts — keep up the good work — but unfortunately, it just might not be enough. You see, as I have spoken about before in this column, weight loss and muscle gain are all about a proper balance of energy expenditure and energy intake. When you eat in a caloric deficit — eating less then your daily maintenance based on an honest depiction of your daily activity — and move more, you will lose weight. Again, this applies to those individuals who have no health issues diagnosed by their doctor (if you have not had a check up and are trying to lose weight, it doesn’t hurt to get one). Bear with me as I break down the science of it all. You see, your Basal Metabolic Rate (what you burn on a daily basis just at rest) plus the thermic effect of the foods you eat (the amount of calories needed to properly digest food), added to something called Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis, or NEAT, makes up your energy requirements for each day. Your BMR accounts for about 60% of your total daily energy requirements, the thermic effect makes up about 10-15% of those requirements, and your NEAT makes up the rest of that daily requirement. So what is Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis? For one, it is extremely important to your goals. NEAT is any normal life activity that is unplanned, such as walking, shopping, cleaning, gardening, etc. It can account for anywhere from 15% of a sedentary individual’s energy expenditure
WHAT’S SUP, YOGA?
to 50% in an active individual’s day. The majority of people I personally know are too comfortable with their sedentary lifestyle — sitting at a desk all day, eating a consistent surplus of calories without even making an effort to work out or exercise. For those of you who do make the effort to work out because it is important to you, I applaud you, but if you aren’t seeing the results you want, you need to look at your caloric intake as well as your daily NEAT. Be honest with yourself; you may not be as active as your mind wants you to think. Many people who do work out like fiends at classes and/or in the weight room feel as though they are exhausted from that one workout and don’t recognize the fact that they move less because of it. So what do all those naturally fit people with “high metabolisms” do? Trust me, I do this for a living and I have fallen victim to comparing myself to the beautiful, muscular girl in the gym who makes it look easy. Our minds start racing and thinking about how much we are working out, how much we are eating, and then we typically go straight to the excuse of “genetics” to blame our bodies for holding more fat than that person because we want to believe we’ve tried our hardest and it’s just not working. You are only human. Breathe and take a step back. Comparing yourself to others is just stupid. You are on your own journey and that other person is on theirs. What you don’t see is what these “naturally skinny” people are doing on a daily basis. Do they have a more active job or lifestyle? For example, this person might be a nurse on their feet all day long. Do they workout on top of this active lifestyle? I can bet they are. Their metabolisms aren’t any better than yours, they just make more of an effort in every aspect to get to their goals. A daily surplus of movement and expended calories adds up over time, just as non-movement with a surplus of calories will show in the long run. A good place to start? Download a fitness app and aim for more than 10,000 steps every day. What’s stopping you?
FOR MOST OF US, being on the water means a road trip to the beach or a staycation at one of our local lakes. For others, it means being literally on the water — floating atop a board while trying to hold a triangle pose steady. Om Yoga, located in Fort Mill, now offers Lake Wylie’s first full-service, instructional stand-up paddleboard (SUP) yoga classes as an unconventional way to get in your daily yoga practice while simultaneously beating the heat. On a recent Saturday morning, I filled out a waiver and did a quick meet-and-greet with our instructor before our small group walked down to the water for a quick tutorial on how to correctly fall off a board (splash don’t crash) and activate the flotation device participants are required to wear around their waste like a fanny pack. We then paddled out for my first aquatic yoga adventure, sandwiched between the glittering lake and the high summer sun. I appreciated these few minutes of paddle time, as it helped me find my balance and acclimate to the stand up paddleboard. We followed our instructor away from the trees and docks toward the middle of the lake, where she called our first pose: downward facing dog. I’ve tried SUP a few times on my own, but have never combined it with yoga. My assumption was that it couldn’t be that difficult, as it’s not too hard to keep your balance during a normal day of paddleboarding, but it only took until my first down dog on the water to realize how wrong I was. The board essentially becomes the yoga mat, but the added element of moving water significantly increases the difficulty factor — something my slightly hungover body and mind weren’t prepared for on this particular morning. Knowing my balance was already off, my chances of falling in the lake water were already higher. In each pose I found the same muscles are challenged as when done on stable ground, but in a new and different way. I felt shaky to say the least, both from the hangover and the struggle of awkwardly maneuvering my body on a floating board. Believe INFO@QCNERVE.COM me when I say it felt less like a flow and more like an
ungainly attempt to keep from falling. Typically, we use our breath and gaze to steady ourselves in yoga poses, the same skills I use when doing stand up paddling, but the combination was especially challenging to my core, arms and legs. Yoga on a floating paddleboard also requires a different kind of concentration, and in my struggle to stay afloat, I could feel my mind and body both using skills they never had before. According to Christa Sterling, when “we learn something new our brain forms new connections and neurons and makes existing neural pathways stronger or weaker.” Some experts call these changes “plasticity” in the brain. Our brain will continue to change until the end of our life, and the more we learn along the way, the more our brain will change and the more “plastic” it will become, which is a good thing! Also, new experiences cause a rush of dopamine, the motivational component of reward-motivated behavior. We stayed on the water for about an hour, moving through a series of balance-challenging poses — falling off boards, having a laugh, getting back on, then working our way into the pose again. One might think falling could be a slight blow to the ego, but on the water, it has the opposite effect. With cooling lake water to break the tumble, falling actually becomes fun and a welcome embrace from the midday heat. After all, isn’t laughter the best medicine? After a lolling savasana atop the lake water, we navigated to shore, officially closing our practice with a group high-five and a cold beverage, mine of course being coconut water to nurse my hangover. Should you choose SUP yoga as your next summertime adventure, based on my experience alone I would recommend wearing a bathing suit or something wicking, and don’t forget to apply sunscreen before and bring a towel for after, both of which I didn’t do but wished I had. It’s an imaginative way to combine the ancient practice of yoga with a contemporary mode of exercise, crafting the ideal outdoor experience for the modern-day yogi. INFO@QCNERVE.COM
THE SCANNER BY RYAN PITKIN
WAKE-UP CALL A 60-year-old woman called police last week after she had to defend herself from a feuding neighbor at a time when most of us are still asleep. The woman said it was just 6:30 a.m. when the neighbor came knocking on the door over what was deemed in the report “a neighbor dispute.” The woman told police that as soon as she came to the door, the neighbor tried to force their way into her home, but she was ready for that sort of nonsense and quickly pepper sprayed the neighbor, which sent them running scurrying back home. POPULAR An east Charlotte woman filed a noncriminal incident report last week after becoming aware of a situation that didn’t sit right with her. According to the report, “the victim stated that her number has been handed out to strangers” on the block where she lives. IT”S ALL PERCEPTION A 28-year-old man showed up at CMPD’s North Division field office one recent afternoon to file a reasonable complaint: “a box he received from eBay was too small and empty.”
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SAFEKEEPING An observant man — or possibly just an overly curious one — saved what could have been an ugly situation after following his gut in east Charlotte recently. The man told police that he watched another man place a bunch of items behind a tree out in a public area near North Sharon Amity Road where kids play. When the man walked away, the witness went to go check it out. When he did, he found a Glock .40-caliber handgun and a 9-millimeter handgun, along with ammo and magazines that fit both. CONSIDER THE BRICK Police responded to a vandalism call at an Arby’s on South Boulevard recently, and the officer who filed the report took all damaged property into consideration while doing so. According to the officer’s report, the suspect threw a brick through a window of the Arby’s overnight. The officer reported that, “a hole was knocked into the window and the brick, used to break the window was left behind in broken pieces.” GOODWILL BURNING Police and fire were called out to a Goodwill in University City one recent morning
The woman said that she parked her car in the lot BATHROOM BOTTLE Police responded to Target at 6:40 p.m., and when she came back outside at at Metropolitan on a recent Sunday morning after a 8:46, her Nissan Altima was being towed. Not only man was caught kicking the new week into high gear that, the tow truck driver did $500 of damage to early. According to the report, the man entered the the car right in front of her. But this victim would store at about 8:40 a.m. and picked out a bottle of get the last laugh, because according to the report, Chateau d’Esclans Whispering Angel rose wine and after a customer decided they would do their part “After further investigation it was discovered that took it with him to the bathroom. It was there that in stopping all the plastic that’s been ending up in the two truck company took the wrong vehicle and the man spent the next hour drinking the bottle, the oceans. According to the report, the suspect lit a damaged it in the process.” until staff members realized what was happening single plastic bottle on fire in the parking lot of the and came to drag his happy ass out of there. store at 8 a.m., but the resulting flames (or flame) did SWEEPS A 79-year-old south Charlotte woman no damage to any property but the bottle. became the latest victim of scammers recently, MANNERS Never underestimate the power of a after someone convinced her over the phone that sincere apology. Also, don’t overestimate the power PATIENTLY WAITING We all go through those she had won the Mega Millions Sweepstakes. of a sincere apology. A 51-year-old woman wanted times when we don’t see a friend for a year or so, The woman told police that the caller told her to more than a “Sorry” when a car crashed into her but those instances take on a different urgency send tax money to an unknown representative in in east Charlotte recently, but unfortunately that’s when that friend has your car. A 50-year-old west Brooklyn, New York, so she took out a $5,000 cash all she got. The woman told officers that she was Charlotte man was very patient with one of his advancement from her Bank of America card and driving on Eastway Drive when another drive friends but had to turn to police for help recently sent the money. She said that when the caller then collided his car into her Honda Accord, doing $1,000 when he decided that maybe the two weren’t so asked for more money, she became suspicious. in damage. According to the report, “At that time, close after all. The man called police on July 10 and People, just know that I don’t include these the suspect yelled ‘Sorry!’ and then fled the scene, told them that he had let his friend use his car in poor folks in The Scanner to make fun of them, I in an effort to evade taking responsibility for the July 2018 and that “he had not brought it back yet.” include them so that you’ll talk to your grandma collision he caused.” and grandpa and tell them not give these random BEATS ME We recently reported on a suspect callers the time of day. All Scanner entries are pulled from CMPD reports. who walked out of the Apple Store in SouthPark Suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Mall with an entire sleeve of Apple Watches, and it appears they could use an update to their security procedures because a customer had to alert management to another serial shoplifter one recent morning. According to the report, the store manager told police that a customer approached him and said that they saw someone stealing a large among of equipment. The manager “looked around for the suspect and then went to review the Get a glimpse at the next issue with our editor-in-chief video footage,” at which time he saw the unknown every other Tuesday night suspect walk out of the store with eight pairs of Beats by Dre headphones, worth a total of $1,600.
Tune in to WCCB News Edge every week night at 10:30 p.m.
CRIME DOESN”T PAY A 71-year-old woman fell victim to a cents-less crime at her home in the Montclaire South neighborhood in south Charlotte recently. The woman told police that someone opened a package that had been delivered to her porch while she was at work, then stole what was inside and left the box behind. What was inside? A package of uncirculated pennies valued at $18.87. The silver lining for the pennies themselves is that they now get to live out their purpose and go into circulation. MISTAKEN IDENTITY A 46-year-old east Charlotte woman parked her car for just six minutes in the parking lot of a business park near her home recently, and ended up in the midst of a mistake that could cost one local tow company some money.
AMERICAN DOCUMENTARIAN Rosalia Torres-Weiner combines art, apps and activism BY COURTNEY MIHOCIK
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OR MANY ARTISTS out there, to make a living from art is the dream — the end goal. For Rosalia Torres-Weiner, however, reaching that goal still left a void. Though she once made good money as a commission artist, painting pieces for NASCAR drivers, businesspeople and judges in fancy office buildings and million-dollar homes, she wasn’t happy. In 2012, she stepped away from the commission art trade and followed her heart, coining a brand of activist art she calls “ARTivism.” Now, Torres-Weiner has integrated technology into her work, launching an app through her studio that allows users to go deeper into the true stories that inspire her paintings. One part of Torres-Weiner’s job as an artivist includes traveling around Charlotte with an art truck, from which she hosts art activities and sessions in underserved communities — mostly targeting children in neighborhoods that don’t have the same access to art that the city’s more affluent kids do. The Papalote Project, for example, aims to help children with one or more parents who have been deported through the creation of paper kite art. During her tours of Charlotte, however, TorresWeiner noticed that other demographics needed help. Families, especially the older generations, were cut off from accessing more than art. “Going to the neighborhoods, I realized that they’re not just in need of the arts, but technology,” Torres-Weiner said. In 2018, through a matching grant with the Arts and Science Council and Google Fiber, Torres-Weiner
Rosalia Torres-Weiner
PHOTO BY DEBORAH TRIPLETT
purchased enough iPads to bring to these art truck sessions and teach all ages about using technology for art. The mixture of tech and art wasn’t something Torres-Weiner has always been familiar with. In fact, she rarely used technology in in her art until 2014, when she traveled to Mexico to care for her ailing mother and left her art supplies behind. It wasn’t until her husband shipped her an iPad preloaded with a sketch app that she discovered the benefits of drawing on a tablet with her finger. She used the app to create a multimedia piece titled “I wish that I was dreaming and when I woke up the wall wasn’t there.” The digital piece depicts a young girl closing her eyes as the beautiful landscape behind her is slowly obstructed by a wall and eventually blocked altogether. It’s a clear commentary on the Trump administration’s promises to erect a wall across parts of the southern border of the United States. And therein lies the other half of her artivism: documentation. Although her pieces are large and colorful, the stories behind them are much deeper and often carry a deeper melancholy tone. Torres-Weiner gets inspiration from true stories that she reads in the news and hears about in her community. One piece Torres-Weiner created, “Uprising Against ICE,” is a reimagining of one of famed
ARTWORK BY ROSALIA TORRES-WEINER
Mexican artist Diego Rivera’s 1931 painting “The Uprising.” The painting depicts Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officers struggling with a family of four in the same style as Rivera’s depiction of Latinx workers clashing with uniformed officers. “Uprising Against ICE” was initially displayed at the Smithsonian Institution’s Anacostia Community Museum as part of the Gateways/Portales exhibition documenting the experiences of Latinx migrants and immigrants in Baltimore, Maryland; Washington, D.C..; Raleigh-Durham and Charlotte. The piece currently resides in the museum’s permanent collection along with a commissioned mural and a piece titled “Madre Protectora” by Torres-Weiner. The museum’s chief curator, Samir Meghelli saw the impact that the reimagined Rivera piece had on the exhibition and noted that the cities highlighted in the exhibition are mostly overlooked in the conversation around immigration in the United States. “‘Uprising Against ICE’ was a reimagining of the famous Diego Rivera piece, yet it modernized and recontextualized it and spoke to the urgent issues around immigrant and the harrowing experiences of many who try to immigrate to this country,” Meghelli said. “People were, on the
one hand, intrigued to see the reimaging of this historical Diego Rivera piece but also moved by how movingly Torres-Weiner made that piece relate to the political-social context of today.” Torres-Weiner strongly believes that documenting the stories of immigrants and the Latinx community is important for future generations. During a time of public outcry against detention centers, she gave herself the job of documenting what is happening at the border and in Charlotte. “I say we have to learn from our history so we do not do it again. This happened to different groups, different people, like black people, Japanese people, the Jewish,” Torres-Weiner said. “And there were people documenting this like photography, like stories or anything, and now we’re able to learn and not do it, not to make those mistakes again.” Taking her role of documentarian one step further, Torres-Weiner has created an augmented reality app that allows users to interact with Dreamers, a series of portraits that depicts local community members who are here under the DREAM Act, which allows a path to residency for immigrants who came to the United States as minors. The RedCalacAR app — a play on her studio name, Red Calaca Studio — allows users to point
CLT MURAL DISCUSSION July 31, 6-7:30 p.m.; Free; The Unknown Brewing Company, 1327 S. Mint St.; tinyurl.com/RosaliaMurals
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ROSALIA TORRES-WEINER TALK Aug. 2, 8:15-10 a.m.; Free; Providence Day School, 5800 Sardis Rd; creativemornings.com/cities/clt
their phone at each portrait and hear the subject of the painting tell their own story. One painting of longtime Charlotte activist Oliver Merino plays his voice through the app: “Hello my name is Oliver, I am 29 years old, I’m originally from Mexico, but I’ve been living in the United States for 19 years now, mostly in North Carolina. I recently moved to D.C. — Washington, D.C. — to be closer to my partner, but I consider North Carolina my home.” Merino goes on to state his desires to continue doing community work despite an uncertain future as an undocumented immigrant in America. To hear his whole story, download the app and point it at his portrait (pictured left). One of Torres-Weiner’s paintings, “Silencio” was inspired by the true story of a little girl whose parents were deported. Although she’s an American citizen, the girl was so afraid of being deported that she refused to speak. In the painting, the girl covers her mouth with her hands, while flowers cover much of her body. White letters spell ICE on a black background, looming large behind her. Torres-Weiner has since sold the piece, and was able to track down the girl who inspired the art and gift her half the money she made from the sale. “And I cried, I cried because it was like finding a lost child,” she recalled. Torres-Wiener is no stranger to the struggles that the Latinx community faces. She came to the United States from Xochimilco, a borough in Mexico City, not to run from violence, but to escape government corruption, racism and sexism. “I came here because more opportunities,” she explained. “Then later in my life, art found me and then from there that’s all I’m going to do. But I love this country and I’m very happy to be American. My kids were born here, I don’t think I would go back. This is my home, Charlotte is my home.” Another facet of her work is advocating for immigrants that live and work in the city. When she lived in Los Angeles, her rights as a worker were violated consistently, she said. Despite the struggles that immigrants face when they cross the border and how difficult it is
to immigrate to the United States for a new life and opportunities, she still understands why people do it. But the Trump administration makes it difficult for Latinx immigrants to find safety, compared to other ethnic and national groups in the past. “Before, they welcomed the Italians, the Irish,” Torres-Weiner said. “But why not the Central Americans, why not us?” Charlotte could follow the lead of other sanctuary cities in the country and be more welcoming to immigrants looking for asylum, according to Torres-Weiner. “We should be a sanctuary city, that’s what we need to do. Remember, there were Latinos that built those buildings in Charlotte. They’re the ones who are mowing the grass, the ones who are feeding us, there are ones like me who are painting your walls and making your city beautiful,” she explained. “I think we should go for that. Show this administration that we’re not part of that deal.” In the meantime, Torres-Weiner is picking up bigger brushes and fighting against racism and xenophobia through her art, especially through her public art. She hopes that her murals give a sense of home to those who view them while she files her art away in the landscape of American documents. “Public art is free and anybody can see it and enjoy it, giving our Latino community that feeling of belonging, like, ‘This is my home too, this is where I am,’” Torres-Wiener said. “Public art is so important, it just makes you feel safe in your community. For a mural I painted on Central Avenue, they said, ‘This is a good place to paint a mural.’ And I said, ‘Yeah, because there have been deportations that happen right here and we need to document that.’” Torres-Weiner will lead an open discussion about her murals at The Unknown Brewing Company on July 31. Then on Aug. 2, Torres-Weiner will speak at Providence Day School about her ARTivism in the community as part of Creative Mornings Charlotte’s monthly series centered on justice. As a fixture in the Latinx community, TorresWeiner is open to speaking about her experiences and her art, while finding joy in discussing complex social justice topics with younger generations. “I love talking to young people because they ask me a lot of questions, they want to know, and if I made a little difference in one or two students, I’m really happy,” she explained. “When they go to vote, they know a little bit of the background of the things that are affecting the Latino community.” CMIHOCIK@QCNERVE.COM
“PUBLIC ART IS SO IMPORTANT, IT JUST MAKES YOU FEEL SAFE IN YOUR COMMUNITY.” Rosalia Torres-Weiner
ARTWORK BY ROSALIA TORRES-WEINER
GATHER ‘ROUND
Sozo Gallery makes room to get together with new exhibit
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BY COURTNEY MIHOCIK
ITY LIGHTS attract humans like moths, as for centuries people have bunched up in urban environments to live lives both connected and separated. Perhaps that’s why cityscapes play such a large role in Sozo Gallery newest exhibit, Gather, featuring work that depicts spaces where people get together, whether it’s around a table, at a beach or in the city. The exhibit opened on July 12 and will run through Aug. 16, with a reception on Aug. 1 at 5:30 p.m. “I feel like each piece evokes that sort of nostalgia of places and spaces that you’re with people that you love,” said gallery manager Sarah Frances Koontz. “That was sort of our goal, was to bring in this artwork by these wonderful artists that invokes that feeling of nostalgia, warmth.” The artist reception also serves as a pregame event of sorts to the Joedance Film Festival, which begins its first night Aug. 1 at Charlotte Ballet. Visitors can soak up the art before heading half a mile down North Tryon Street for the first night of film screening for the pediatric cancer research nonprofit’s fundraising efforts. “We’re just trying to bring it all together in terms of Uptown community,” Koontz explained. One of the featured artists, Melvin Espy, is just breaking into the Charlotte art world, with paintings of abstract cityscapes. Although he’s always been interested in art, Epsy noted that he took a near 30-year detour after leaving the Art Institute of Pittsburgh and pursuing a corporate career to earn a steady, livable income. But that would only last so long before he returned to his passion. “In 2013, I was at the top of my earning and felt like I was in full stride. The company I was with let
ARTWORK BY MARVIN ESPY
go of about 900 people in 6 months, I was one of them,” Espy explained. “That really afforded me the opportunity to start reconsidering what I did. Over the last five years or so I’ve been making strides for that and a year ago, I set out full time, so now I’m doing nothing but art.” Espy’s full body of work evokes more than just a sense of gathering and belonging. He has easily mastered the use of colors to convey different meanings. Pale, yellow brushstrokes in “Late Lunch” denote the urgency, yet calmness that one can experience when they finally take a breather from a busy day to eat a meal. But for the most part, Espy’s work is saturated in blues and purples, bathing audiences in a cool city twilight. His artwork normally exists in the more calming hues on the color wheel, with very little energizing hues scattered throughout. “I think there’s something wrong with me,” Espy said with a laugh. “I set out sometimes with the purpose of getting outside of those colors, and when I finish with it, there it is again. I don’t know if those colors are just comforting for me or if I’m
not taking enough risk but I really like that space for now, and I’ve kind of surrendered to not trying to break out of it until it changes.” This being one of Epsy’s first exhibits — not counting open-air markets or breweries around town — he’s grateful for Sozo Gallery hanging up his work as part of Gather, he said. “I appreciate galleries like Sozo that are untraditional in the idea of bringing in an artist like me, who doesn’t have a track record anywhere else but just believing in the art itself and believe in me as an artist,” Espy noted. “That may be unique because I’ve knocked on a few doors and I’m not shy, but it was refreshing to be welcomed purely on the merit of my work.” Alongside Espy’s work in Sozo Gallery — nestled in the busy Hearst Tower Plaza as a quiet, creative haven for artists in a corporate environment — hangs the work of Fonda Doerre and Debora Koo, both artists living in the Charlotte area. Out-of-state artists Bruce Nellsmith from South Carolina and Paul Norwood from California round out the rest of the exhibit. CMIHOCIK@QCNERVE.COM
ARTWORK BY MARVIN ESPY
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WEDNESDAY, JULY 31ST MAYA BETH ATKINS
What: Performing since the age of 12, anyone who’s seen Maya Beth Atkins live recently knows she’s been ready to break through. Now 19 and fresh off the release of her debut album, Maya Beth Atkins Presents: Whatever You Are, the UNC-Asheville student is on the cusp of something big this year. More: $8; 7 p.m.; Evening Muse, 3227 N. Davidson St.; eveningmuse.com
THURSDAY, AUG. 1ST COLOR OF LAW
What: SouthEnd ARTS presents its Social Justice Speaker Series with Dr. Ricky Woods of First Baptist Church West and retired BofA exec Pete Kelly discussing Color of Law, a book in which Richard Rothstein argues how segregation in America is the byproduct of explicit government policies, and how it relates to Charlotte history. More: Free; 6:30-8:30 p.m.; SouthEnd ARTS at The Trolley, 1507 Camden Road; southendarts.net
FRIDAY, AUG. 2ND
LIFELINE
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JULY 31ST - AGU. 6TH
THE GROWLERS
What: The Growlers have stayed under the radar despite a consistent smattering of songs with a psych-meetsgarage-meets-dream-meets-surf rock style that’s been described as “beach goth.” Frontman Brooks Nielsen’s hypnotic voice is robotic but never boring, and their live sets are known to keep your attention, too. More: $32.50-35; 7 p.m.; Neighborhood Theatre, 511 E. 36th St.; neighborhoodtheatre.com
SATURDAY, AUG. 3RD HISTORIC MAPPING CONGRESS
What: With Trump in office, it often feels like we’re moving backward. Have an educational time-traveling experience by joining historians documenting the roads, fords and ferries of ol’ Meck County. In a city that erases its history every decade or so, learning what things looked like centuries ago can be an eye-opening experience. More: Free; 1-4 p.m.; Charlotte Museum of History, 3500 Shamrock Drive; charlottemuseum.org
SUNDAY, AUG. 4TH
HOUSE OF WATERS
What: Fronted by a man dubbed “the Jimi Hendrix of the hammered dulcimer” by NPR, the Afro-Latin-Celtic trio House of Waters also boasts an Argentinean drummer, a Japanese jazz-and-classical bassist, and a breathtaking fusion of the rhythms and melodies that have coursed through the human consciousness for millennia. More: $10-12; 7 p.m.; The Evening Muse, 3227 N. Davidson St.; eveningmuse.com
MONDAY, AUG. 5TH
THE FLAMING LIPS
What: A mellifluous mishmash of psych rock, bubblegum and theater of the absurd, The Flaming Lips may be the best damn schizophrenic indie rock band ever, ranging from acid damaged outsiders in the ’80s to the weird pop purveyors of today. All their multiple personalities are funneled into their latest album King’s Mouth. More: $29.50 and up; 7 p.m.; CMCU Amphitheatre, 1000 NC Music Factory Blvd.; flaminglips.com/tour
TUESDAY, AUG. 6TH THE BAND’S VISIT
What: When a band of Egyptian musicians stumble from the desert into the wrong town on their way to Israel, they end up spending the night while they wait for their bus to arrive the next morning. A story of hope, faith, silence and music play out on stage over the course of their one-night stay. More: $25 and up; 7:30 p.m., through Aug. 25; Knight Theater, 430 S. Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org
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for cool events happening in the queen city!
WEDNESDAY, AUG. 7TH
NOUVEAU SUD
What: Ever since presenting Sûr: An Acrobatic Journey in Search of Safety two years ago, urban circus arts troupe Nouveau Sud has been sounding a warning against discrimination through physical theater. In the era of “send her back” and kids in cages, the ensemble’s message of inclusion rings louder than ever. More: Free; 9 p.m.; Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St.; snugrock.com
THURSDAY, AUG. 8TH BEN FOLDS
What: Frontman for Ben Folds Five, Ben Folds is a prolific artist known for his solo work and work with the three-piece band. Among striking out on his own, reforming with the band and countless collaborations, Folds is touring after his memoir, A Dream About Lightning Bugs, and hits Charlotte with Violent Femmes. More: $25-$75; 7 p.m.; CMCU Amphitheatre; 1000 NC Music Factory Blvd.; benfolds.com
FRIDAY, AUG. 9TH
LIFELINE
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AUG. 7TH - AUG. 13TH
QUEEN CITY ANIME CONVENTION
What: Celebrate classics like Akira, Death Note and Cowboy Bebop or new-wave programs like Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Kakegurui and Attack on Titan. Manga or television, it doesn’t matter as this convention of cosplaying, concerts, gaming and shopping holds everything an anime superfran needs. More: $20 and up; through Aug. 11; Sheraton Hotel Charlotte, 555 S. McDowell St.; queencityanimecon.com
SATURDAY, AUG. 10TH YEAH FEST II
What: Lenny Muckle of Patois Counselors and solo greatness is a friend of the paper and one of Charlotte’s best experimental musicians. Lenny was hurt in an accident recently, and you can help with his medical costs by seeing a kick-ass lineup of local bands including Hectorina, It Looks Sad., Cuzco, Pullover, Wild Trees and Pet Bug. More: $10-12; 4 p.m.; Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave.; petrasbar.com
SUNDAY, AUG. 11TH MONICA
What: For the last three decades now, Monica has established herself as one of the most deservingly successful R&B singers of all time, touting classics like “Angel of Mine,”“The Boy Is Mine,” and “Before You Walk Out Of My Life.” More: $45-111.50; 8 p.m.; The Fillmore, 820 Hamilton St.; fillmorenc.com
MONDAY, AUG. 12TH FILMAGE: ‘THE STORY OF THE DESCENDENTS’
What: With a misspelled name and a bespectacled, decidedly uncool lead singer, the Descendents are the font from which all subsequent pop punk and nerdcore flow. This 2014 doc charts the career of these unlikely punk legends. Major bonus: live sets by Late Bloomer and This Kills Me. More: $10; 8 p.m.; Tommy’s Pub, 3124 Eastway Dr., Ste. 710; tinyurl.com/FilmageDescendents
TUESDAY, AUG. 13TH KHALID
What: Not to be confused with DJ Khaled, this R&B singer scored a radio hit with his 2018 EP Suncity track, “Better” and “Talk” from 2019 full-length Free Spirit. Khalid hits the high notes with ease and displays expert mastery over shrill beats and bumping rhythms. More: $49.95 and up; 7:30 p.m.; Spectrum Center, 333 E. Trade St.; spectrumcentercharlotte.com
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CONFLUENCE Aug. 3, 11 a.m.-10:30 p.m.; Aug. 4, 11:30 a.m.-6:30 p.m.; Free; U.S. National Whitewater Center, 5000 Whitewater Center Pkwy.; usnwc.org
The main stage at USNWC.
RAPID GROWTH AND RAPIDS SHOWS
PHOTO COURTESY OF U.S. NATIONAL WHITEWATER CENTER
Whitewater’s Confluence fest mixes musical currents
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BY PAT MORAN
Y DEFINITION, a confluence is the place where two mighty rivers meet, where rushing currents entwine. However, if you’re interested in seeing Charlotte’s closest confluence — the spot where the Catawba and South Fork Catawba rivers converge, you’re shit out of luck; it’s been submerged by Lake Wylie. But on August 3 and 4, a different kind of convergence can be both seen and heard on the banks of the Catawba when the U.S. National Whitewater Center hosts Confluence, Charlotte’s newest music festival. Billed as a meeting of artists, audiences and industry professionals, Confluence will be an event like few others in Charlotte. Not only does it sport a moniker that eschews high-impact single syllables like BOOM and Shout, it’s also an attempt to mix both musical genres and festival purposes. In addition to boasting an eclectic bill
of performers and bands, Confluence hosts an educational component comprised of 16 panel discussions featuring music industry insiders. All performances and panels are free, but reservations are encouraged for the discussions. The goal of Confluence is to celebrate, highlight and develop Charlotte’s musical footprint while aiding in the scene’s discovery and education, says USNWC marketing associate Lex Ballard. The idea for the festival started percolating last fall, she continues, when facility strategic director Jesse Hyde spearheaded brainstorming sessions with the staff. The goal was to come up with a festival concept that would engage the Charlotte community. Early in the process, Hyde advocated for a music festival, but one that would be different from the Americana-, roots- and jam band-heavy bills that have characterized prior Whitewater events like Tuck Fest or River Jam.
“Typically with a festival you see national headliners,” Ballard says, “but we wanted to do something that fosters Charlotte’s own music industry.” To that end, Confluence features performances on three stages spread across the nearly 700-acre facility: The Main Stage on Belmont Abbey Island usually hosts the center’s River Jam concert series, which runs May through September. The River’s Edge Stage sits across Whitewater’s Competition Channel near the River Center, while the South Ridge Stage, set back into the woods, is where Whitewater typically holds yoga classes. “It’s surrounded by the pines,” Ballard says. “There’s a little more of an intimate vibe there.” To help recruit the acts taking to these stages, Hyde and his crew sought assistance from Midwood Entertainment and its founder Micah Davidson, plus MAXX Music and its president Gregg McCraw,
both booking experts in the Charlotte music scene. The collaboration has paid off in the most eclectic bill that has ever played Whitewater, Ballard maintains. “There is a lot more variety of genres,” she continues. “It’s more of a survey of what’s going on in Charlotte’s music scene right now.” While a folk, roots and indie rock component is still present with acts like Sinners & Saints, Jim Avett & David Childers, Emily Sage and Junior Astronomers; the musical palette has expanded to include the funk, neo-soul and R&B of DownTown Abby & The Echoes, Akita, Dexter Jordan, Jason Jet and Cyanca. Most surprising perhaps is the inclusion of Latin-flavored acts like Orquesta Mayor and Chócala. Those last two acts were booked on the recommendation of Tony Arreaza, local musician and founder of the Latin entertainment agency
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CONFLUENCE Aug. 3, 11 a.m.-10:30 p.m.; Aug. 4, 11:30 a.m.-6:30 p.m.; Free; U.S. National Whitewater Center, 5000 Whitewater Center Pkwy.; usnwc.org
Carlotan Talents. The Venezuelan-born promoter will take part in one of Confluence’s educational discussions, an industry panel on booking and buying shows. “It’s a wonderful thing to be the only Latino to participate on these panels,” Arreaza says. As a pioneer of Charlotte’s Latin music scene since he moved to the Queen City in 1991, Arreaza sees the inclusion of Latin acts in festivals like Confluence as the culmination of his and others’ decades-long effort to make Latin music and American music simpatico. “I want to see Latin bands in the mainstream festivals,” Arreaza says. “I want to see American rock playing for Latino audiences.” He believes an event like Confluence can be a step forward for his dream of music shorn of language barriers. “The language is music,” he concludes. Liza Ortiz, Michael Anderson, Davey Blackburn and Liza’s brother Claudio have been transcending genre and language barriers since 2017, when the quartet launched the alternative Latin quartet Chócala. When Hyde approached Chócala to play the River’s Edge stage, Liza readily accepted on behalf of the band. Like Arreaza, she’s excited about the eclectic bill assembled for Confluence. “We appreciate that [Whitewater is] trying to diversify their sound,” Liza says. “I hope they’re also trying to attract a more diverse group of people to come out as well.” She points out that many of her friends playing on the program are, like Chócala, firsttime performers at the facility and not the typical Whitewater acts. One of those performers is the indie rock combo Junior Astronomers, fronted by vocalist Terrence Richard. When asked to perform, Richard was also intrigued by the diverse bill. “I think it’s dope,” Richard says. “[There are] a few artists we’ve wanted to check out. We were stoked when they asked because we’ve always wanted to play there.” Though soulful R&B artist Cyanca has been to Whitewater previously for recreational purposes, her sets at Confluence will be the first time she’s performed at the facility. Like her fellow performers, she was sold on the festival because of the musical
bill’s variety. “I think it’s awesome,” Cyanca says. “It’s important that we showcase all different types of genres flourishing in Charlotte and bring [them] all together.” Showcasing and encouraging Charlotte’s musical diversity may be one of the biggest contributions the festival can make to the city’s music scene, Chris Garges says. Garges, owner and chief recording engineer at Charlotte’s Old House Studio, is also a drummer and veteran of the city’s music scene. He thinks the scene is far too segregated, and he’s not talking about racial segregation. “A lot of the people who go see punk bands don’t always go out to see folk or bluegrass bands, and a lot of people supporting hip-hop don’t go out to see metal shows,” Garges says. He hopes that can change with events like Confluence, for which more professional musicians from different backgrounds can come together. Garges — who has played with Mitch Easter, Don Dixon, The Spongetones and others — isn’t performing at the festival but will be on a songwriting and recording panel. It’s possible that the panels may be just as effective as the various performances in breaking down barriers between artists, audiences and genres, he continues. Interestingly, insight from industry insiders was not part of the plan when the idea of Confluence was first floated, Ballard says. “The educational component came later in February after we had batted around the idea for quite some time,” she says. But once the notion was raised, education became an integral part of the festival’s mission. The Confluence staff felt there were too few opportunities for local artists to learn how to navigate the industry, Ballard continues. Hyde and his team realized that Whitewater had the infrastructure and resources to bring together industry professionals so artists could learn from them. For his part, Garges welcomes the educational aspect of the festival. “One thing Charlotte has been lacking is infrastructure and support outside of the world of performing music,” he says. The 16 panel discussions will all be held at the facility’s conference center, where fans of Charlottearea roots music will be treated to a special conversation on songwriting and producing with local heroes and inspirations David Childers and Jim Avett, father of Avett Brothers Seth and Scott.
PHOTO BY AARON KASEY
Cyanca
“IT’S IMPORTANT THAT WE SHOWCASE ALL DIFFERENT TYPES OF GENRES FLOURISHING IN CHARLOTTE AND BRING [THEM] ALL TOGETHER.” Cyanca
Childers and Avett will also perform on The River’s Edge Stage. With typical self-deprecating modesty, Childers previews the topics he’ll cover on the panel. “If I remember anything about why I wrote a particular song, I’ll talk about that,” Childers says with a chuckle. “I’ll try to be as accessible as possible, and not be a smart aleck.” The bulk of the panels are directed at performers, producers and promoters interested in developing artists, booking shows, building their brands and getting their music on YouTube. Panel members are drawn from a pool of regional and nationwide industry experts including Gregg McCraw, Ramseur Records founder Dolph Ramseur, Asheville’s Echo Mountain Studios manager Jessica Tomasin, EastCoast Entertainment’s Ellie Schwarz and plenty others. For Mike Kitchen, founder of Charlotte-based promotion and production business the Sol Kitchen, the focus on the business end of the music industry is a much-needed breath of fresh air for Charlotte. “Some people don’t understand that many people do make a living at this,” Kitchen says. “There’s a lot to be learned.” Kitchen, who will sit on a panel discussing the economics of putting on live shows, thinks there’s always room in the city’s music scene for more
wisdom. “Everybody doesn’t know everything,” he says. “I’ve been doing this for 20 years now, and there are still a lot of things I don’t know.” Ballard feels Confluence will fill some of the gaps in people’s knowledge, while exposing them to a rich palette of rhythms, melodies and sounds (also known as music). “We hope people will approach [the festival] with an open mind and a taste to explore,” she says. “We want people to feel excited about the city and their community, [and to] go outside of their comfort zone and get inspired.” Ballard’s optimism is reflected in the opinions of the artists taking part is this mingling of people, music and minds. “They’re trying to nurture something,” Childers says.” I respect that and I think it needs to be done.” “This is an amazing opportunity not only to play but to get connected with people and learn something,” Ortiz says. “It’ll help bring some more shine to local artists as well as connect some people that generally wouldn’t be in the same spaces,” Richard says. “I’m ready to enjoy some of the panels and take home some things that will help me in marketing myself,” Cyanca says. “I feel like I’m seeing a great start.” PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM
SOUNDWAVE JULY 31
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Yeah Group Residency: Drunk Mums, Paint Fumes, Mutant Strain (Snug Harbor) Mephiskapheles, Violent Life Violent Death, No Anger Control, Corporate Fandango (The Milestone) I Prevail, Issues, Justin Stone (Fillmore) Maya Beth Atkins Band, Electric Mud (Evening Muse) Heather Gillis (Heist Brewery) School of Rock Allstars (Visulite Theatre) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Open Mic with Leebo (Comet Grill) Josh Daniels, Jeremy Shaw (Smokey Joe’s) DJ/ELECTRONIC
The Wizard’s Roadshow (Siggy’s Bar & Tapas)
AUGUST 1
Pg. 18 July 31 - Aug. 13, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Run Engine, Carver Commodore, The Wilt (The Milestone) Roy West, Raised On TV, Sunset Cassette (Petra’s) Open Mic Night w/Felly Castelow (Tommy’s Pub) Shana Blake & Friends (Smokey Joe’s) Funk You (U.S. National Whitewater Center) Resinated (Free Range Brewing) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Gabrielle Sophia, Halloween Costume Contest (Evening Muse) Love Canon (Visulite Theatre) Haley Mae Campbell (Tin Roof) DJ/ELECTRONIC
Le Bang (Snug Harbor) Jump Off (Crown Station)
Milestone) Jeremy’s Ten: Pearl Jam Tribute (Visulite AUGUST 2 ROCK/PUNK/METAL Theatre) The Growlers (Neighborhood Theatre) Feisty Festy Fest: No Anger Control, The Flight Gasp, Baby Brains, Stevie (Snug Harbor) Risks, Greevace, The Commonwealth, The Grungefest Unplugged: Angry Chair, Hooliganz, The Boron Heist, The Am/FM’s, Badmotorfinger (Underground) Dumpster Service (Tommy’s Pub) Rock ‘N’ Reel Show: A Night of Grrl Power CLT DIY or Die Fest: Scheme, Casual Tiger, Sub (McGlohon Theater) Madonnas (Lunchbox Records) Aqualads, Modern Primitives (Smokey Joe’s) Blue Monday (Tin Roof) IAmDynamite (Evening Muse) Bullet The Blue Sky U2 Tribute (Amos’ Vortex Of Old Men, Mindshapefist, Something Southend) Went Wrong, Preppen Barium (The Milestone) Soul Fest 2019: The Hawthornes, Akita (Primal The Muckers, Born Again Heathens, Tim Mace, Brewery) Bottle of Smoke (Tommy’s Pub) The Jump Cut (Tin Roof) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Tuatha Dea (Evening Muse) Mike Ramsey & The 5 Ensemble, John Burnette (Visulite Theatre) Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill) Ian Ferguson (U.S. National Whitewater Center) DJ/ELECTRONIC
Friendship Friday with Mo! (The Milestone) DJ Magic Mike (Crown Station) Blow Your Head (Snug Harbor) Open Decks (Skylark Social Club) RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B
Grits & Biscuits (Fillmore) Rhonda Thomas: A Night of Dynamic Soul (Loft & Cellar)
AUGUST 3
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Justin Fireball’s Sweat Party: The Fill Ins, The Emotron, Lil Skritt, The Body Bags, Asbestos Boys, Fast And Loose, Ophelia Pop Tart! (The
CLT DIY or Die Fest: Sinister Purpose, Mind Dweller, Old Moon, Whispering Man, Mutant Strain (Resident Culture) DJ/ELECTRONIC
Release! The Party: Stan Zeff (from Tambor), Gary Wallace (Snug Harbor) #LocalOnly Saturday with DJ Teddy & Mike Boyer (The Milestone) Off the Wall: Annual Michael Jackson Tribute (Petra’s) RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B
The Face Off: Drake Vs. Meek Mill And Beyonce Vs. Rihanna (Underground)
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SOUND AUGUST 4
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Metal Church Sunday Service (The Milestone) Delhi 2 Dublin (Neighborhood Theatre) Papa Roach, Asking Alexandria, Bad Wolves (CMCU Amphitheatre) House Of Waters, Jonathan Scales Fourchestra (Evening Muse) Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill) RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B
Bone Snugs-N-Harmony (Snug Harbor) ROOTS/BLUES/INTERNATIONAL
Open Bluegrass w/Greg M Clarke & Friends (Tommy’s Pub) JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL
Bill Hanna’s Jazz Session (Petra’s) DJ/ELECTRONIC
Hazy Sunday (Petra’s)
AUGUST 5
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ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Flaming Lips, The Claypool Lennon Delirium (CMCU Amphitheatre) Piano Bar Karaoke with Ryan Stamey (Petra’s) Find Your Muse Open Mic: Jackson Lundy (Evening Muse) Cito Jamorah & Friends (Smokey Joe’s) Open Mic Night Featuring Ryan McKusick (Legion Brewing) RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B
Jazz Jam (Crown Station) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Country Music Monday (Hattie’s Tap & Tavern)
AUGUST 6
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
The Zeta, Julian Calendar, LXS Ortiz, Faye (The Milestone) Acne, Modern Color, Lurk (Snug Harbor) August Burns Red, Silverstein, Silent Planet (Fillmore) Sugarshine, Thomas and the Work-Men (Skylark Social Club) Smokin’ Js Open Jam (Smokey Joe’s) Uptown Unplugged: Act II (Tin Roof) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Red Rockin’ Chair (Comet Grill) RAP/HIP HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B
Soulful Tuesdays (Crown Station)
AUGUST 7
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Double Eyelid, Malhond, Mauve Angeles, Eric Gilstrap, Solemn Shapes (The Milestone) August Residency -A Family Affair: Dirty Art Club (DJ Set), Nouveau Sud, Probably Will (Snug Harbor) Tosco Music Open Mic (Evening Muse) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Open Mic with Leebo (Comet Grill) Josh Daniels, Jeremy Shaw (Smokey Joe’s) RAP/HIP HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B
Beast Coast, Joey Bada$$, Flatbush Zombies, The Underachievers, Kirk Knight, Nyck Caution, Powers Pleasant, CJ Fly (CMCU Amphitheatre)
AUGUST 8
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Max Frost (Neighborhood Theatre) Ben Folds, Violent Femmes, Savannah Conley (CMCU Amphitheatre)
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WAVE Open Mic Night w/Anna Bonilla (Tommy’s Pub) Bilal Sunni-Ali, Rah Amen Trio, Skewed Ensemble, Sweat Transfer (Petra’s) Late Night Special, Taylor Kelly (Evening Muse) Shana Blake and Friends (Smokey Joe’s Café) Hedonistas (U.S. National Whitewater Center) DJ/ELECTRONIC
Le Bang (Snug Harbor) The Wizard’s Roadshow (Hartland’s Bar & Grill) Jump Off (Crown Station)
Andrew Scotchie & The River Rats, Vintage Pistol (Evening Muse) Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill) DJ/ELECTRONIC
Friendship Friday with Mo! (The Milestone) The Wizard’s Roadshow (The Fat Parrots Bar & Grill) RAP/HIP HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B
Player Made: An Ode To Southern Rap of All Eras (Snug Harbor) Mother’s Finest, D.B. Bryant (Amos’ Southend)
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Dierks Bentley, Jon Pardi, Tenille Townes, Hot Country Knights (PNC Music Pavilion) Phillip Michael Parsons (Tin Roof)
AUGUST 9
Pg. 20 July 31 - Aug. 13, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
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Atomic Cretins, Mutant Strain, Paezor (The Milestone) Pouya (Underground) John Mayer (Spectrum Center) Nick Jordan (Skylark Social Club) Swansgate, The Dirty Low Down, Rat Poison, On The Spot (Petra’s) Rockin’ For The Kids 2nd Annual Fundraiser: Underground Detour Band (Visulite Theatre) Vita DiAmata Band (Smokey Joe’s) John Sebastian (McGlohon Theater) Albert Castiglia (U.S. National Whitewater Center) The Girls (Repo Record) Cardfall (Tin Roof) North Elementary (Tommy’s Pub) Paulina Simone (Tin Roof) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Lyfe Jennings (Neighborhood Theatre)
AUGUST 10
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Dead Letter Office - REM Tribute, The Gentlemen Commoners - The Smiths Tribute (Neighborhood Theatre) Judy & the Jerks (Common Market) Speedboozer, Thing Sloth, Everyone Must Die, Morganton (Tommy’s Pub) Kiss (PNC Music Pavilion) Mosh for What Matters: Mirages, The Weekend Transit, Curiosity Kills, Den of Wolves, Proper Sleep, Honest Goodbye (Skylark Social Club) Yeah Fest II: Hectorina, It Looks Sad, Cuzco, Pullover, Pretty Baby and the Wedding Cult, Wild Trees, Pet Bug (Petra’s) Matt Bennett Band (Tin Roof) Crisis Assistance Ministry Tribute Show 10th Anniversary featuring the music of Woodstock: Shannon Lee, Analog Daze, The Mannish Boys, Gigi Dover & the Big Love, Randy Franklin & the Sardines, Abbey Elmore Band, The Roadshow Band (Evening Muse) Asheville Circus (Smokey Joe’s) Jon Caneda (Tin Roof)
SOUNDWAVE COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Frank Foster, Out Of The Blue (Coyote Joe’s) Josh Daniel (Primal Brewery)
AUGUST 12
Rap Battle (Fillmore) Adrian Crutchfield’s Private Party (Booth Playhouse)
Find Your Muse Open Mic: Eric Dodd (Evening Muse) Cito Jamorah and Friends (Smokey Joe’s) BLA/ALT Summer Residency Night 3: Pool League, Amity Pointe, XOXOK (Petra’s) This Kills Me (Tommy’s Pub)
DJ/ELECTRONIC
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B
Oh! Snap: DJ SPK, SativaSlcts (Snug Harbor) #LocalOnly Saturday with DJ Teddy & Mike Boyer (The Milestone)
AUGUST 11
Baroness (Underground) Santana, The Doobie Brothers (PNC Music Pavilion) Second Tuesday Singer/Songwriters (Tommy’s Pub)
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B
KOTA The Friend (Neighborhood Theatre) Khalid, Clairo (Spectrum Center) Soulful Tuesdays (Crown Station)
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Monica (Fillmore) Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill) Metal Matinee: Druids, Paladin, Lädyhel (The Milestone) Worst Party Ever, Dogleg, Petrov, Alright (The Milestone) The National Reserve (Evening Muse) The Acacia Strain, Kublai Khan, Judiciary, Chamber (Amos’ Southend) Metal Church Sunday Service (The Milestone)
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No Future Benefit for Sunny Vincent: DJ Fat Keith Richards (Snug Harbor)
Red Rockin’ Chair (Comet Grill) Uptown Unplugged: Marcus Gullen (Tin Roof)
Country Music Monday (Hattie’s Tap & Tavern) Rakish (Heist Brewery)
AUGUST 13
DJ/ELECTRONIC
Bone Snugs-N-Harmony (Snug Harbor) ROOTS/BLUES/INTERNATIONAL
Open Bluegrass w/Greg M Clarke & Friends (Tommy’s Pub)
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825 CENTRAL AVE. CHARLOTTE, NC 704-331-0788
The bar at The Crunkleton
PHOTO COURTESY OF THE CRUNKLETON
POPS, PAPPY AND THE ABC
Pg. 22 Jan. 2 - Jan. 15, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM
Bartenders work to bring exclusive whiskey programs to Charlotte
G
BY BEN JARRELL
ARY CRUNKLETON approached his small business like any other young, intelligent entrepreneur would — by combining his passion with education, fortified by market research. It just so happened that his education came from his father’s old liquor collection and his market research was 17-year Pappy Van Winkle bourbon. Gary Crunkleton is a name that echoes in serious whiskey circles from here to his original cocktail bar The Crunkleton on Franklin Street in Chapel Hill to the hills of Kentucky Bourbon country.
His Chapel Hill spot was named one of the top five bourbon bars in the country in 2015 by Garden & Gun magazine. Now that Crunkleton has arrived in Charlotte, opening a local bar by the same name in Elizabeth in December 2018, he is one of three local barkeeps working behind the scenes with state government to provide a unique whiskey experience to guests that’s hard to find elsewhere in North Carolina. Crunkleton points to 2014 as the year when the whiskey wave broke on North Carolina. According to Crunkleton, he was the only one under the North
Carolina Alcoholic Beverage Control (ABC) system at that time who had for years been buying cases of whiskies like Pappy Van Winkle to W.L. Weller, Willett Family Estate and other labels that are now impossible to find. His Chapel Hill bar was packed with boxes of Pappy Van Winkle 15-year, 20-year, and 23-year — bottles that now go for thousands of dollars on the secondary market. Around 2014, Crunkleton noticed a slow decline in his ability to receive his full order from the local ABC Board. “Bourbon’s getting hard to get. It’s getting popular. Pappy Van Winkle is hard to
get,” Crunkleton recalled of that time five years ago. He later found that a memo was circulating among local ABC boards warning of unwelcome “depots” of rare whiskies like his. “The memo was sent to prevent these ‘depots,’” said Crunkleton. “I took it personally and I did what any normal business person would do. We had to figure out how to make this work within the parameters.” Crunkleton reached out to ABC and to the manufacturers, then he went back to market research, finding the best available whiskies he
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could, many of which were not in the state ABC system at that time — whiskies like Belle Meade Bourbon, which won its first Double Gold at the San Francisco World Spirits Competition in 2015. In Crunkleton’s words, he set out, “to find the next Pappy.” But Crunkleton’s real passion was still in his collection of antique whiskies — the dusty ones from his father’s liquor cabinet. “The bourbon made a long time ago is much better than the bourbon being made today.” I asked Crunketon to explain. “There’s a bunch of different reasons, a bunch of different reasons. Let’s save that. It’s too much to talk about here. We’d have to talk about it while we drink it.” I eagerly await the date for my own “market research,” but for the time being, Crunkleton sufficed to say that his position was firm due to his own research. “Because of my dad’s collection of old whiskey, I knew those products were superior,” said Crunkleton. One afternoon in Chapel Hill in the fall of 2014, before the Tar Heels tipped off against North Carolina State, Crunkleton arranged a private tasting. When North Carolina Speaker of the House Tim Moore and his friends arrived, he told Crunkleton, “You just let me know if there’s anything I can ever do for you, Gary.” Crunkleton wasted no time. “Well, there is something,” Crunkleton replied. “I could use some help. I have a bottle right here that I can’t pour in my bar legally.”Crunkleton presented a pint of Old Special Reserve whiskey from 1911, which was passed around “like a baby,” according to Crunkleton. “I want a waiver for this old spirit. So I can sell it,” he told Moore. Within days, Crunkleton found himself answering emails to help inform a new law proposal in the General Assembly, aptly nicknamed “The Crunkleton Bill,” which would change North Carolina ABC laws to allow the regulated sale of antique liquor. Now, Session Law 2015-98 House Bill 909 defines an “antique spirituous liquor” as one that’s at least 20 years old and from a distillery no longer producing that spirit. The bill also stipulates that the bottle is unopened and sealed. After the bill passed, Crunkleton took his father’s whiskey collection over to the ABC Board in Raleigh, creating a five-digit code, paying the tax and tagging each bottle with information from the name of the distillery to the time spent aged in an oak barrel to the year it was bottled.
A few of his prized champions include a 17year Old Van Winkle Reserve, aka “Pappy,” and a Very, Very Old Fitzgerald from Stitzel-Weller. The juice from both is from old distilleries that are no longer functioning and instead whose prominent names — and subsequent reputations — have since been bought by Buffalo Trace and Heaven Hill, respectively. The bottle of Very, Very Old Fitzgerald was originally barreled in 1954 and bottled in 1966. A one and half-ounce pour will cost you $510 at The Crunkleton in Charlotte. But Crunkleton isn’t the only local barkeep working closely with local government to put special whiskey in your glass. Dot Dot Dot owner Stefan Huebner and renowned local mixologist Colleen Hughes of Haberdish, Crepe Cellar and Growlers Pourhouse have launched barrel-pick programs that allow them to offer bourbons chosen specifically to their desired flavor profile. Most whiskey you’ll find on shelves is blended from hundreds of barrels to fit the intended profile of a specific spirit. Others are grouped together by master distillers into small batches, advertised and sold as such. Other distilleries bottle individual barrels, and it’s within a single barrel that specific flavor notes are strongest, allowing for flavors from vanilla to cherry to caramel to be distinctly expressed. It is from these single barrels that Huebner and Hughes make the selections for their barrel-pick programs. Colleen Hughes is known for her cocktails. Hop over to Instagram for all the confirmation you require. But for those whiskey lovers who prefer a Glencairn glass over a Manhattan — those of us who geek out about vertical tastings and rare releases, mashbill percentages and master distillers — Hughes, like Huebner, is working with ABC to offer truly unique whiskies in a market hamstrung by outdated and regressive regulations. These folks are, after all, creatives, working within a system the ABC created. They’re making it work by maintaining positive relationships with local government to provide personalized experiences to patrons of their establishments. It’s not an easy glass to fill. Huebner, co-owner Conrad Hunter and a few team members traveled to Bourbon Country to taste whiskey straight out of the barrel at Old Forester Distillery. For another pick, samples from Knob Creek were sent to Stefan, who after blind tasting all three, chose the 15-year, which ended up in my glass recently during their two-year anniversary weekend.
PHOTO COURTESY OF THE CRUNKLETON
An 8-year Wild Turkey at The Crunkleton
Confident in his whiskey palate, Huebner said, “Everytime I taste, I taste them blind. I want no information until after I choose.” Hughes’ cocktails are widely regarded as some of the best in the city, winning Thrillist’s inaugural Bartender of the Year award in 2016, Charlotte magazine’s BOB Voters’ Choice award in 2018 for best mixologist and landing an interview in Forbes Magazine in February of last year. She’s a powerhouse of spirits, and she, like Huebner, also prides herself on her discernment of fine whiskey. Colleen poured me (at, ahem…11:15 a.m. on a weekday) a dram of her barrel pick from Elijah Craig — proudly stamped with the distinction, “Haberdish, selected by Colleen Hughes.” It was full of vanilla, some oak, and caramel, which paired great with my thermos of coffee. But according to Hughes, the law that allowed her to do so is in flux. Despite traveling to Kentucky distilleries to choose her own barrels, the ABC Board is considering restricting the words printed on the label that, to Hughes, represent her hard work. “The bartenders in the city of Charlotte are working so hard to be a drinking and dining destination, and the more restrictions, the more difficult it is to be in the national spotlight,” shared Hughes. “We’re looking for Charlotte to be in the forefront of that scene.” Still, these three are making it work, employing the same care and delicate hospitality that made their cocktails famous. For Father’s Day, the Charlotte Crunkleton
offered four flight options: three Bourbons from the ’70s for $70, three from the ’80s for $80, and three from the ’90s for $90 — featuring various agestated Wild Turkey bourbons in each decade from 1970, ‘84, and ‘91. I recently visited Dot Dot Dot with a couple of friends. It happened to be during their two-year anniversary weekend when they were offering bottom-shelf prices for some of their top whiskies. A friend of mine, who was celebrating a job promotion that week, ordered an 18-year old Japanese whiskey for $39 — which may seem steep until you compare it to its average aftermarket price range of $600 to more than $1,000 for a bottle. And good luck finding one at your local ABC Store, nowadays. The Hakushu 18 tasted like sweet, smoky cream in a glass before melting into nothing — leaving me only with a smile. Eager to try one of Huebner’s latest picks, I ordered a 15-year Knob Creek, a product of Dot Dot Dot’s barrel program — a steal at $16 for a one-and-a-half-ounce pour. Try ordering a wellmade dollar-per-year-stated Bourbon for that price anywhere else in North Carolina. This is what private business partnering with local government should look like. But it’s not an easy task or a system designed with profit or individual expression in mind. “It’s a bureaucracy. It’s government. It doesn’t matter if they sell one bottle or a hundred,” said Crunkleton. Moves are being made — albeit slow ones. Just last week, North Carolina Bill 290 passed, permitting breweries to obtain liquor licenses, allowing for tastings at ABC stores, and allowing distilleries to open tasting rooms. In mid-July, N.C. Rep. Chuck McGrady of Hendersonville proposed eradicating the ABC system entirely — a move unlikely to occur during his tenure, according to WRAL in Raleigh. But while it’s easy to view these moves as progressive, it’s only due to the bubble in which we’ve been allowed to function in our state. I’m just an old cook who digs whiskey; I’m no businessman. But I applaud the work being done by these three to allow unique whiskey experiences in Charlotte. It’s finally giving us something to brag about with the ABC — even if it’s just the astonishing fact that the system can be progressively changed. So, let’s hold up our glasses and cheers to a continued move in the right direction, before our talent starts heading elsewhere, and we’re all stuck with the shit we drank in college, when our dads drank the good stuff, and laughed. INFO@QCNERVE.COM
DILWORTH BAKERSFIELD
Monday: $3 Jack Daniels Tuesday: $3 Tres Generaciones, $10 Don Julio 1942 Wednesday: $3 Bulleit Bourbon Thursday: $3 Espolon Friday: $3 George Dickel No. 8 Saturday: $3 Lunazul Sunday: $3 Larceny Bourbon 300EAST
Monday: 1/2 off wines by the glass Tuesday: 1/2 off beer cans and glasses of Italian reds Thursday: $3.50 local drafts, $8.50 Matilda Wong cocktails Sunday: 1/2 off wine bottles, $5 mimosas & bloody marys, $6 Bellinis BAD DADDY’S BURGER BAR
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Monday: 20-oz. draft for 16-oz. price Tuesday: $5 specialty cocktails Wednesday: $3.50 local drafts Saturday-Sunday: $5 mimosas & bloody marys
DILWORTH NEIGHBORHOOD GRILLE
Monday: $4 Crown & Down Tuesday: $4 drafts, $12 pitchers, $5 flights of North Carolina drafts Wednesday: 1/2 off wine bottles and martinis Thursday: $12 domestic buckets, $18 import buckets Friday: $3 craft drafts, $5 flavored vodka Saturday: $5 mason jar cocktails Sunday: $4 bloody marys SUMMIT ROOM
Tuesday: $4 drafts Wednesday: 1/2 off glasses of wine Thursday: $7 Summit cocktails
SOUTH END COMMON MARKET SOUTH END
Monday: 1/2 off select pints Tuesday: Free beer tasting 5-7 p.m. Wednesday: $2 off select pints, wine tasting 5-7 p.m.
UPTOWN
BIG BEN PUB
Monday: $6 beer cocktails, $2 off vodka Tuesday: $8 mules, 1/2 off gin Wednesday: $6 you-call-it, 1/2 off wine bottles Thursday: $4 wells, 1/2 off specialty cocktails Friday: $5.50 Guinness and Crispin, $6 vodka Red Bull Saturday-Sunday: $4 bloody marys and mimosas, $15 mimosa carafes
THE LOCAL
MAC’S SPEED SHOP
Monday: $3 pints, $5 Tito’s Tuesday: 1/2 price wine, $3 mystery draft Wednesday: $4 tall boys, $5 Lunazul Blanco Thursday: $3 mystery cans and bottles, $4 Jim Beam Friday: $1 off Lagunitas beers Saturday: $1 off North Carolina pints Sunday: $4 mimosas & bloody marys GIN MILL
Monday: $5 Tito’s and New Amsterdam Tuesday: 1/2 price wine Wednesday: $4 draft beer Thursday: $2.50 PBR, $5 Jack Daniels and Tito’s
Monday: $7 Casamigos, $2 Natty Boh and Miller High Life, $5 Jager Tuesday: $3 Modelo, $5 house margaritas, $5 Don Julio Wednesday: $5 Crown & Down, $3 Southern Tier Thursday: $5 Captain Morgan, $7 craft mules, $16 Bud Light buckets Friday: $3 Jell-O shots, $4 drafts, $5 wells Saturday: $3 PBR, $5 Jager Sunday: $7 loaded mimosa, $7 Grey Goose bloody mary, $16 Bud Light buckets THE DAILY TAVERN
Wednesday: $5 whiskey Thursday: $4 pint night Sunday: $4 Miller Lite, $6 bloody marys DANDELION MARKET
Monday: $3 select drafts Tuesday: $15 select bottles of wines Saturday-Sunday: Bloody mary bar
I REMEMBER MY FIRST TIME, DO YOU?
ROXBURY
Friday: $5 flavored vodka drinks, $5 fire shots, $3 bottles Saturday: $5 fire shots, $4 ZIMA, $3 bottles WORLD OF BEER
Monday: $2 off North Carolina drafts and spirits Tuesday: 25 percent off bottles and cans, $5 mules Wednesday: 1/2-priced wine, wheats and sangrias Thursday: $4 old school, $4 well, $4 signature shots Friday-Saturday: $3 shot of the week Sunday: $2 mimosas, $3 bloody marys & beermosas PROHIBITION
Tuesday: 1/2 off everything Wednesday: $3 drafts Thursday: $2 PBR, $4.50 wells, $6 vodka Red Bull Friday-Saturday: $4 call-its
NODA CABO FISH TACO
Monday: $5 El Cheapo margarita Tuesday: $3.50 Tecate and Tecate Light, $5 Altos silver tequila Wednesday: $7 Absolut Lime Moscow mule Thursday: $1 off neighborhood beers on draft Friday-Saturday: $8 margarita special Sunday: $5 mimosas, $6 Absolut Peppar bloody mary, $7 Absolut Lime Moscow mule JACKBEAGLE’S
Monday: $5 Cuervo margaritas Tuesday: $3 drafts, $5 vodka Red Bull Wednesday: $1 off whiskey Thursday: $6 Deep Eddy’s vodka Red Bull Friday: $5 Fun-Dip shots, $5 Crown Black Saturday: $5 Gummy Bear shots, $5 big mimosa, $6.50 double bloody mary Sunday: $5 big mimosa, $6.50 double bloody mary SANCTUARY PUB
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Monday: $7 Bulleit and Bulleit Rye, $3 Yuengling and PBR APA
Tuesday: $6 Tuaca, $6 Tullamore Dew Wednesday: $3 Birdsong beers, $5 Sauza, Thursday: $2 Bartender Bottles, $6 Crown Royal Sunday: $3 Birdsong, $3 Tall or Call
Saturday: $4 mimosas $5 Brunch Punch, Sunday: $4 mimosas, $5 Brunch Punch, $5 Fireball, $10 champagne bottles
NODA 101
HATTIE’S TAP & TAVERN
Monday: $4 Ketel One Lemon Drop, $4 well liquor, $5 Camerena Tuesday: $6 seasonal cocktails, $6 Jameson, $4 Grape Gatorade Wednesday: $5 Green Tea Shot, $6 Blue Balls Thursday: $5 Jagermeister, $6 vodka Redbull, $6 Oxley Gin Cocktail Friday: $5 Fireball, $6 vodka Red Bull, $6 Jameson Saturday: $5 Fireball, $6 vodka Red Bull Sunday: $5 Deep Eddy Flavors, $1 off tequila, $5 White Gummy Bear shots BILLY JACK’S SHACK
Monday: $1 off moonshine, $3 domestics Tuesday: $1 off all drafts, $7 Jameson Wednesday: $1 off bottles and cans Thursday: $4.50 wells Friday: $5 Fireball, $1 off local bottles and cans
PLAZA MIDWOOD Monday: $6 Pabst & Paddy’s Tuesday: $5 Fireball Wednesday: $3 mystery craft beers Thursday: $6 margaritas Friday-Saturday: $5 well drinks Sunday: $10 domestic buckets INTERMEZZO
Monday: $4 Makers Mark, $2 domestic bottles Tuesday: $4 margaritas, $7 Tito’s mules, $3 Blanche de Bruxelles, $3 OMB Copper Wednesday: 1/2 price wine bottles, $2 off bourbon of the week Thursday: $6.50 Ketel One Botanical Series, $4 Stoli Friday: $4 20-oz. Birdsong LazyBird Brown Ale and Birdsong Jalapeño Ale Saturday: 1/2 price martinis Sunday: $3 drafts
Do you want your bar or restaurant featured in The Buzz? Contact Ryan Pitkin rpitkin@qcnerve.com
that’s had a controller for two months and no idea how to mix to provide the vibe. Yeah, sure, give the kid with no idea what they are doing free drinks. That’ll make them better at it!
IT’S A VIBE
A chat with local DJs about the don’ts and dos of the 1s and 2s
DJ Corleone: Repeating myself pertaining to drinks by the equipment. People lean over to ask a question, meanwhile their hovering over thousands of dollar in equipment. As well as putting drinks on the ledge of the DJ booth for the same reason. One person bumps into it and could literally cut off the music and cost thousands of dollars more in repairs.
What are some dos and don’ts when you are performing? DJ Red: Do put your phone away! Stop worrying BY JUSTIN ZALEWSKI about if we are going to play that new song you Over the last six months, I’ve covered a wide heard on the radio 75 times on the way to the club. spectrum of topics involving the service industry. Just have a good time! It’s easy to pick apart how foolish people can be when they are drunk or tell stories of the dumb- DJ Boss Austin: Do be polite. Tip me, buy a drink, ass shenanigans I have encountered, and acts of ask for my Instagram and follow me, tag me in a ignorance I’ve committed while under the influence. positive post and tag the venue. There are many components to an evening out on the town, one of the most important elements DJ Boss Austin: Do not ask me to play something is creating a vibe, and the foundation for that is off YouTube, Spotify, etc., if I don’t have it. That’s music. This month, we’ll get a lesson from some of not how it works for DJs. We have to physically the best in the game about what it’s like to be a DJ download tracks into our computer. in Charlotte. A panel of some of the most respected DJs in the What is one of the craziest things you have Queen City have given me first-hand accounts of what seen in or from the DJ booth? it is like to grind it out so you can move your feet. DJ Dirty: DJing Jocks that Rock Super Bowl Party in Tampa Bay with Dennis Rodman. It was a nudist Queen City Nerve: What annoys you most when resort! The whole dance floor was naked! you are performing? DJ Boss Austin: People wanting us to “play it next.” DJ Trife: New York City New Year’s Eve playing Stage DJing is an art and it takes skills. It is like playing a 48 at peak hours after the ball drops. There was musical instrument. Good DJs are mixing music with $100-plus admission and all the power goes out … beats all flowing together. I can’t just “play it next.” and never comes back on.
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DJ Dirty: People sticking phones in my face.
DJ Red: I once saw a girl try and do the worm from a handstand … She hit her face first and lost a lot DJ AMinor: I feel like I speak for a lot of DJs when I of teeth. say, I do not mind at all interacting with individuals from the crowd, I just need you to understand that DJ Boss Austin: Well I have seen it all: fights, naked I am currently working at work! As far as the level people, a guy with a monkey on his shoulder! I’ve needed to start DJing in Charlotte in general has seen dudes puke into their cup and forget and then been lowered by newer inexpensive equipment, drink from it. I’ve seen a girl pull down her pants and some venues opting to cut their nightly and pee on the floor in a packed club. I’ve seen a guy spending budget by getting cheaper beginner head butt a window and need stitches. I’ve seen a DJs, the standard for what you hear when you go guy eat a pint glass! I couldn’t actually say what the out has gone down. There are too many talented “craziest” was! professional DJs in Charlotte to ever go out and hear INFO@QCNERVE.COM bad music. But some venues feel they need to save a few bucks, so they are going to ask DJ Ironic Name
THAT’S MY CLUE
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ACROSS
1 Inuit vehicle 5 In -- (as first placed) 9 Total fan 15 Insolent talk 19 Law enforcer 21 Actress Peet or Pays 22 Andy Taylor’s boy 23 Flatfish that was there first? 25 WWII attack time 26 Quality 27 ‘63 Liz Taylor role 28 Couple taking off to tie the knot 30 Lookout person 32 Product for whitening NASCAR drivers’ garb? 37 Kappa preceder 40 Smell -- (be suspicious) 41 Willing to do 42 Wild horse’s boastful talk? 48 Battle milieu 50 China’s Mao -- -tung 51 Classic New York City theater 52 Actress Gilbert 53 Vex no end 55 Single-celled swimmer 58 Trajectory of a thrown winter weapon? 65 Place affording a good view 67 Related to kidneys 68 Black bird 69 Ending of pasta names 70 The cry “Hah, I scaled that peak and you didn’t!”? 76 Be obliged 77 Rose Bowl org. 79 Take for one’s own use 80 Manufacture 82 Huddle of military officers? 88 “Short and stout” vessel 89 His cube became a craze 90 Novelist Hunter 92 Viral net phrase, say 93 Anvil’s organ
96 Pill, e.g., briefly 97 Powerful machine that pulverizes car splash guards? 102 Censoring tone 104 Opera part 105 Mavens 106 One who would’ve taken on Goliath if David had been unavailable? 111 Take stock of 116 Russian ballet company 117 Tableland 120 Sunni’s deity 121 Web app language 122 Narratives recorded on CD? 127 Prayer’s end 128 Beatified French lady 129 Put in a different key 130 Minstrel 131 Ecstatic 132 “Auld Lang --” 133 White bird
DOWN
1 Notices 2 Peter of “M” 3 Gonzalez in 2000 news 4 Pinkie, e.g. 5 Capitol fig. 6 Apple type 7 7’0”, say 8 In need of nourishment 9 -- Zedong 10 -- Darya (Asian river) 11 Bread with vindaloo 12 Put right? 13 “A Passage to India” woman 14 Substitute for chocolate 15 Hit a homer 16 It lifts a kite 17 Debacles 18 Comic Tina 20 -- acid (lime ingredient) 24 Mauna -29 Not singular 31 “-- -hoo!” 33 Sun -- -sen 34 Uno + due 35 Rowing need 36 Charles V’s realm: Abbr. 38 “Conan” channel 39 “Ah, so sad” 42 Facing with courage 43 Film genre 44 Student at England’s oldest university 45 Nikita’s “no” 46 Samovar 47 -- Paulo 48 Whack hard 49 Justice Dept. raiders
53 Israeli flier 54 Twitch 56 “Socko!” 57 In past time 59 Legal papers 60 Actor Affleck 61 Director Lee 62 Placed into categories 63 “Why?” 64 Woofer’s counterpart 66 Old Greek geometrician 71 Arrow notch 72 “My Mama Done -- Me” 73 TV’s Kwik-E-Mart clerk 74 Renoir’s skill 75 Foot 4-Down 78 -- Lingus 81 Accurse 83 Ado 84 “Honest” guy 85 Turner of TV 86 First mate? 87 -- avis 91 Network for Jimmy Fallon 93 Recede
SOLUTION ON PAGE 30
94 Part of ASU 95 Salvage 97 Thu. follower 98 A, in Vienna 99 Hound 100 Grazing field 101 Op-eds, e.g. 103 Actress Britt 104 R&B artist Keys 107 Aspect 108 L.A.’s region 109 Rescue squad VIP 110 Takes ten 112 Insults 113 Pipe shape 114 Taco topper 115 Soft luster 118 Nimble 119 Film scorer Menken 121 Quick hit 123 Can. province 124 Plains native 125 Beatty of “The Toy” 126 Hex- ender
JULY 31 - AUGUST 6 ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Your honesty is, as always, admirable. But you might want to be more tactful in discussing a sensitive issue with a family member. Remember: You can give advice without giving offense. TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) An unexpected workplace snag should be handled quickly and efficiently so that it leaves you time for family get-togethers. Also, you might soon get that longsought apology. GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Aspects favor family matters, especially where children might be involved. Spending time with loved ones helps restore some much-needed balance to your typically busy schedule.
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CANCER (June 21 to July 22) That seemingly clear-cut agreement might not be quite so straightforward after all. Recheck for language that could make you liable for hidden costs and other unpleasant surprises. LEO (July 23 to August 22) Careful, Kitty. Better to deal with someone with proven reliability than with a big talker who promises much but can’t confirm that he or she will deliver. Your social life really zings this weekend. VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Your matchmaking skills are at peak performance levels both in helping to staff workplace teams for upcoming projects and for bringing people together on a more personal basis. LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) You’re finally
AUGUST 7 - AUGUST 13 seeing some progress with your new venture. But be prepared for it to continue at a slower pace than you’re used to. Meanwhile, a loved one could be preparing a surprise.
ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Technology snafus tax your patience. But before you throw that computer or other hardware into the trash, take a deep breath and call someone knowledgeable for help.
SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) A family member’s success pulls you into the spotlight as well. Enjoy it, but don’t let it overshadow or otherwise obstruct what you’re doing with your own creative projects.
TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Don’t be too upset if your generosity goes unappreciated. These things happen, and rather than brood over it, move on. A new friend could open up some exciting new possibilities.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Using what you already know might not be quite enough to get a proposed project off the ground. Look for any new information that might help tilt the scales in your favor.
GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) A loved one helps you get through an especially difficult emotional situation. Spend the weekend immersed in the body and soul restorative powers of music and the other arts.
CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Good news: While a changing workplace environment can be daunting for some, it could be the challenge you’ve been hoping for. If so, confront it with confidence and move on.
CANCER (June 21 to July 22) You are pretty much in charge of what you want to do this week. However, it might be a good idea to keep an open mind regarding suggestions from people you know you can trust.
AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) It’s a good time to recheck travel arrangements for any changes that could work to your advantage. Aspects also favor strengthening and restoring old, fraying relationships.
LEO (July 23 to August 22) Another chance to shine (something always dear to the Lion’s heart) might be resented by others. But you earned it, so enjoy it. The weekend brings news about a family member.
PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Using your intuitive reasoning helps you cut right through the double-talk and go straight to what’s really going on around you. Stay the course until all your questions are answered.
VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) A suggestion that never took off could become viable again. Dust it off, update it if necessary, and resubmit it. In your personal life, a new relationship takes an “interesting” turn.
LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Confronting a BORN THIS WEEK: You radiate light and warmth, new challenge to your stated position could work to and others love being close to you. your advantage by settling all doubts once you’re able
to present a solid defense backed up by solid facts. SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) You enjoy doing nice things for others. But this is a good time to do something nice for yourself as well. You might want to start by planning a super-special getaway weekend. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Some changes you feel you need to make might be reasonable and appropriate. But others might lead to new problems. Think things through carefully before you act. CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Good instincts usually keep the sure-footed Goat on the right path. So, what others might see as stubbornness on your part, in fact reflects your good sense of what is worth supporting. AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) A period of introspection could lead to some surprising conclusions -- and also equally surprising changes -- involving a number of your long-held positions on several issues. PISCES (February 19 to March 20) The financially practical Pisces might want to take a sensible approach to spending as well as investing. Being prudent now pays off later. A romantic situation moves into another phase. BORN THIS WEEK: Your sense of curiosity keeps you continually alert for what’s new about people, places and things. 2019 KING FEATURES SYND., INC.
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HARD TRUTHS
Reaching an impasse
my fantasies to myself? Have another affair or ask him to have an open relationship again? I’m a woman who married young (21) and We have a 3-year-old daughter so I have to I’ve been with my husband for seven years. make our relationship work. Within the last year, I’ve realized that my WANT THE HARD TRUTH falling libido probably comes from the fact “WTHT might be surprised to hear she is just that I am not turned on by our boring vanilla a normal woman being a normal woman,” said sex routine. I get so little fulfillment that I’d Wednesday Martin, New York Times best-selling rather not even do it. I’ve tried talking to him, but he says he prefers sex without foreplay or author, cultural critic and researcher. “Like a normal a lot of “complicated stuff.” I had some great human woman, she is bored after seven years of casual sex before we met but it turns out I’m monogamous sex that isn’t even her kind of sex.” You mentioned that you used to feel like there into BDSM, which I found out when I recently was something wrong with you, WTHT, but just in had a short affair. I’ve kept the secret and case you have any lingering “what’s wrong with guilt to myself, but I have told my husband I’m into BDSM. He wants to make me happy but I me!” feelings, you’re gonna want to read Untrue: can tell he isn’t turned on doing these things. Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, He denies it, because he’s just happy to have Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science sex at all, but a butt plug and a slap on the ass Can Set Us Free, Martin’s most recent book. “We know from recent longitudinal studies does not a Dom make. I’ve tried to ask him if from Germany, Finland, the US, the UK and Canada we can open up our relationship so that I can that among women only, relationship duration live out my fantasies. I would like to go to a BDSM club and he isn’t interested at all. He and living together predict lower desire/boredom,” was very upset and said he’s afraid of losing said Martin. “In fact, the Finnish study found that me if we go. He also felt like I was giving him even when they had more/better orgasms, women an ultimatum. But I told him he was allowed in monogamous relationships of several years’ to say no, and that I wouldn’t leave if he did. duration reported low desire.” A straight man’s When I was younger I thought there was desire for his long-term, live-in female partner also something wrong with me because everyone decreases over time, but nowhere near as drastically else wanted monogamy but it never seemed as a woman’s does. “Contrary to what we’ve been important to me. I’m not a jealous person taught, monogamy kills it for women, in the and I wouldn’t mind if he had sex with other aggregate, more than it does for men,” said Martin. So that’s what we know now — that’s what the people. In fact, the thought of it turns me research shows — but very few people in the sexon but he says he isn’t interested. I know he advice-industrial complex have wrestled with the loves me and I love him. At this point my only solution has been to suppress this urge to implications. Most advice professionals, from the lowliest have BDSM sex, but I don’t know if it is a good advice columnist to the most exalted daytime TV long-term solution. What should I do? Keep
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BY DAN SAVAGE
star, have chosen to ignore the research. They continue to tell unhappily sexless couples that they’re either doing something wrong or that they’re broken. If he would just do his fair share of the housework or if she would just have a glass of wine — or pop a “female Viagra,” if big pharma could come up with one that works, which (spoiler alert) they never will — they’d be fucking like they did the night they met. Not only isn’t this advice helpful, it’s harmful: he does more housework, she drinks more wine, nothing changes, and the couple feels like there’s something wrong with them. In reality, nothing’s wrong. It’s not about a more equitable division of housework (always good!) or drinking more wine (also but not always good!), it’s about the desire for novelty, variety and adventure. Zooming in for a second: The big issue is here is that you got bored. No foreplay? Nothing complicated? Even if you were 100% vanilla, that shit would get tedious after a few years. Or minutes. After risking your marriage to treat your boredom (the affair), you asked your husband to shake things up — to fight sexual boredom with you —
by incorporating BDSM into your sex life, by going to BDSM clubs, and by at least considering the possibility of opening up your marriage. (Ethically this time.) And while he’s made a small effort where BDSM is concerned (butt plugs, slapping your ass), your husband ruled out BDSM clubs and openness. But since he’s only going through the BDSM motions because he’s just “happy to have sex at all,” what he is doing isn’t working for you. And it’s probably not working for him, either. At bottom, WTHT, what you’re saying — to me, if not to your husband — is that you’re gonna need to do BDSM with other people if your husband doesn’t get better at it, which is something he might learn to do at the BDSM club he refuses to go to. Which means he has it backwards: he risks losing you if he doesn’t go. On the Lovecast: All Hail Satan! with Satanic Temple founder Lucien Greaves: savagelovecast.com; mail@ savagelove.net; @FakeDanSavage on Twitter; ITMFA. org
LILLY SPA 704-392-8099 MON-SUN 9AM-11PM EXIT 37 OFF I-85
WE ACCEPT ALL MAJOR CREDIT CARDS
SOUTH ON BEATTIES FORD THEN FIRST RIGHT ON MONTANA DRIVE (LOCATED 1/2 MILE ON THE LEFT 714-G MONTANA DRIVE
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