Queen City Nerve - May 18, 2022

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 13; MAY 18 - MAY 31, 2022; WWW.QCNERVE.COM

ARTS: Public art tours for the blind pg. 8

FOOD: Black Charlotteans reclaim the coffee scene pg. 16

“Fast, furious, funny, and wildly entertaining!”

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Conceived by:

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Before Hamilton, before In the Heights, there was Freestyle Love Supreme. Now, more than 15 years after its inception, the original hip-hop musical phenomenon is coming to Charlotte direct from Broadway!

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TABLE OF CONTENTS NEWS & OPINION

4 The Central Project by Karie Simmons

Behind the efforts to save a building that nobody wanted 6 Pinball Wizard by Ryan Pitkin

Zach Pulliam opens Super Abari Game Bar despite obstacles

ARTS & CULTURE

8 Art Is for Everyone by Nikolai Mather

Advocates team up to offer descriptive walking art tours for the blind 10 Lifeline: Ten Cool Things To Do in Two Weeks

MUSIC

12 Refresh, Repeat by Pat Moran

Martin Hacker-Mullen’s musical stress test 14 Soundwave

FOOD & DRINK

16 Hold the Cream by Jasiatic Anderson

LIFESTYLE

18 Puzzles 20 The Seeker by Katie Grant 21 Horoscope 22 Savage Love

Thanks to our contributors: Jasiatic Anderson, Grant Baldwin, Katie Grant, Jonathan Golian, Amy Herman, Brandon Weiner, Jamie Tout, Kathy Garcia, and Dan Savage.

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The reclamation of Black coffee in Charlotte

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

THE CENTRAL PROJECT

Behind the efforts to save a building that nobody wanted

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BY KARIE SIMMONS

After years of trying to find a buyer for 917 Central Ave., commercial real estate agent Mike Sullivan began to think he might go to his grave before it sold.

The curved corners of the red brick building — squeezed between Two Scoops Creamery and Seventh Sin Tattoo — paired with the “Nine 17 Central” marquee hanging off the front made the 1937-built structure stand out. Positioned in the Elizabeth neighborhood right on the borders of Plaza Midwood and Belmont, its location was more than desirable. But its musty, dilapidated interior and tight footprint scared away even the most inspired entrepreneurs.

There was no shortage of interest; Sullivan estimated that he showed the property a few times every week between 2015 and 2021, and more than 200 clients went as far as bringing a general contractor out to the site. But no one would take a chance on the building.

“It’s in a great place,” Sullivan said. “It’s sort of combining the area just outside of the downtown loop with Plaza Midwood and that area is obviously starting to experience a lot of growth.”

The surrounding neighborhoods of Plaza Midwood, Elizabeth and Belmont have been home to a bevy of changes in recent years from the CityLYNX Gold Line extension to new construction, restaurants, apartment complexes and retail shops.

Meanwhile, the dark, empty windows at 917 Central grew darker and the “For Sale” sign, plastered above, became a seemingly permanent fixture on the building.

It would take Sullivan’s boss, real estate developer John Nichols, purchasing the property at

the end of January 2022 to finally free Sullivan of his most difficult listing. But as Nichols would soon find out, it wasn’t the property that was difficult, but the ability for others to see what it could become.

A rich history

Nichols was initially drawn to 917 Central’s rounded corners, characteristic of the Art Moderne architectural style, also known as Streamline Moderne, that developed out of 1930s Art Deco trend. Head of the boutique commercial real estate firm The Nichols Company, he owns a building of similar style at 1212 Central Ave. That one was built in 1945 to serve as the Queen’s Pie Company’s wholesale bakery but is now home to The Kilted Buffalo bar.

“I’ve always liked capturing the history of these old buildings,” Nichols said. “They’ve had so many things happen in them and so many intriguing stories and if you could go back in time and just sit through the life of a building, it’d be amazing.”

The building at 917 Central was constructed in 1937 in a neighborhood known as Piedmont Park that has since become part of Elizabeth. It’s approximately 4,180 square feet split into two 2,090-square-foot units that each have their own addresses: 917 and 919 Central Ave. Among the first recorded tenants were a home appliance store called The Good Housekeeping Shop, and LOIS Beauty Salon. According to advertisements in the Charlotte Observer, both businesses were operating there in 1946, with The Good Housekeeping Shop in one unit and LOIS Beauty Salon in the other.

Both stayed open for decades, though the

beauty salon changed its name over the years to Hemby’s Beauty Salon then Two Sisters Beauty Salon.

In 1965, The Good Housekeeping Shop announced it would be moving to the sincedemolished Coliseum Center on Independence Boulevard.

Sometime after The Good Housekeeping Shop left Central Avenue, Quality TV Service moved in at 917 Central. The electronics sales and repair shop remained there until owner Donald Metcalfe, who had purchased the building in 1981, retired in 1989.

One of the last known tenants was Retro Eyecandy Vintage, which opened in May 2008, according to an article in the Observer.

It’s unclear when the clothing store left the space, but a few years later someone tried to open a martini bar there. They were forced to halt construction because a lack of parking prevented them from acquiring the proper permits. The building has been vacant since.

Metcalfe’s wife and children have been the property’s primary owners since 2015. They hired Sullivan to help them find a buyer, but that was easier said than done.

Despite the location’s increasing walkability, one of the biggest hurdles Sullivan faced was parking; the 0.147-acre site only has room for about seven or eight spaces in the rear. Most clients who showed interest in 917 Central wanted to turn the entire building into either a bar or restaurant, Sullivan said, which would require more parking based on the square footage.

A restaurant at the site would require 33 parking spots, according to city code (at least one parking space per 125 square feet). One potential client proposed leasing spaces from Piedmont Middle School on East 10th Street, but it was a solution Sullivan had heard before and he already knew the answer.

“The school has zero interest in sharing their parking or encumbering it,” Sullivan said. “And to the lady I said, ‘To be honest with you, unless God opens up the Earth and creates more crust, you’re going to have this parking problem.’”

Sullivan said he heard hundreds of creative proposals over the years. At one point, he even looked into the feasibility of installing a vertical parking system, but that would have required an 8-foot setback from the sidewalk and a wider sidewalk, which wasn’t possible.

Another group wanted to tear part of the building off to create more parking spaces.

“Then you start running into the problem, what

can you build back? Because it’s so close to the corners,” Sullivan said.

“If you tore it down, you couldn’t build anything back because of the requirements for the setbacks, widening of the sidewalks and also then the building standards — how wide is your building?” he continued. “What is there is by far the biggest piece of real estate or improvements you could do to the site.”

A rejuvenation

Nichols purchased 917 Central from the Metcalfes at the end of January 2022 for $850,000.

Despite its known challenges and the fact that it had been vacant for so long, he said the property wasn’t in as bad of shape as it appeared.

“When people went in there, it was wet and kind of musty smelling and they’re like, ‘Oh my god, it’s horrible,’” Nichols said. “And then I get a guy in there who works for me and he’s checking all the outlets and stuff and the outlets are working. There’s just a leak in the roof and it needs new HVAC. So we started peeling back the onion, so to speak.”

Ripping up the old carpet revealed solid concrete floors beneath it. Tearing down the warped wood paneling on the walls exposed nice-looking brick and stucco. The building had “good bones,” Nichols said.

He admitted the property was probably overpriced when Sullivan was trying to sell it, but eventually the market caught up.

“I love it when there’s buildings that have been on the market forever and then you kind of look at them in a new light like, ‘Wait a minute … Now this building makes sense,’” Sullivan said. “But everybody and their brother thinks there’s something wrong with it because it sat there for so long.”

In recent weeks, Nichols has painted the building green, fixed the leaking roof and started cleaning up the inside. He plans to replace the doors and windows and revamp the existing marquee with a new design, but make no real structural changes.

Unlike many potential clients interested in the property in the past, Nichols intends to keep the building as two separate units. He said that provides more flexibility to meet the area’s parking requirements, even if he ends up leasing one side to a bar or restaurant tenant.

The property is currently zoned B-2 (general business) with a Pedestrian Overlay District (PED), which dictates parking minimums, setbacks, design requirements and development standards for permitted uses within the B-2 zone.

City code requires bars and restaurants in a B-2 with a PED to have one space per 125 square feet.

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE All other non-residential uses besides religious ones need at least one space per 600 square feet.

Turning the entire 4,180-square-foot building into a bar or restaurant would thus require a minimum of 33 parking spaces, but only 17 if the same business wants to stick to one of the 2,090-square-foot units. The other unit could then be some other non-residential use, which would only need three spaces.

While that would still leave a restaurateur short of what they need, a recent discovery might be the saving grace for 917 Central. In addition to the seven or eight parking spaces in the rear, there are about a dozen on-street spaces along Central Avenue that were only recently reinstated.

New crust

In the 1990s, Nichols was president of the nonprofit Plaza Central Development Group, which spearheaded the rejuvenation of Plaza Midwood’s main drag. He said he remembered that the city allowed on-street parking back then on a 50-yard

stretch beginning at 917 Central, but when he purchased the property, the signs were not there.

At his request, the city reinstalled the signs, which permit two-hour parking from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.

“Something happened to the telephone polls and the signage came down and since some of those places were vacant, nobody ever replaced them,” Nichols said. “It’s been there 20 years or so.”

And without God opening the Earth to create more crust, Nichols suddenly had the parking he would need to lease the building.

He said he may eventually propose a rezoning of the property to a Transit Oriented Development (TOD) district or Mixed Use Development District (MUDD) due to its proximity to the CityLYNX Gold Line streetcar, which would allow for a greater parking reduction.

TOD encourages high-density, transit supportive development within a half-mile radius of transit stations. There are no minimum parking requirements in a TOD, only maximums, though bar and restaurant uses are held to a different standard.

“Everybody always thinks there’s a parking shortage, but there’s really a parking sharing

PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN

KSIMMONS@QCNERVE.COM

PARKING HAS BEEN THE BIGGEST HANG-UP FOR POTENTIAL RENTERS. PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN

THE BUILDING CIRCA 1962, AS DEPICTED IN AN AD IN THE CHARLOTTE NEWS.

PHOTO COURTESY OF JOHN NICHOLS

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THE BUILDING AT 917 CENTRAL STILL SITS EMPTY TODAY.

shortage,” Nichols said. “The PED overlay district was built in order to share. When the TOD came along, the TOD zone was to force you out of your car completely to ride the light rail and to try to eliminate cars in the center city.”

MUDD zoning is similar except that property owners can opt out of providing parking entirely with the approval of a conditional rezoning request by the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Planning Commission and Charlotte City Council.

With these workarounds, Nichols is optimistic that he can finally breathe new life into 917 Central despite its long vacancy.

He said an ideal tenant would be a pedestrianfriendly commercial business, such as retail or a takeout restaurant, but the opportunities are endless.

For Sullivan, seeing 917 Central revitalized after years on the market brings a sigh of relief. For everyone else, it’s proof that with a clear vision, a little elbow grease and an understanding of city code, even the most dormant building can be brought back to life.

NEWS & OPINION SECONDARY

PINBALL WIZARD Zach Pulliam opens Super Abari Game Bar despite obstacles

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BY RYAN PITKIN

Sitting in Super Abari Game Bar during a May 7 preview event of the new business, watching nearly 100 people move about the new space that he’s spent the last two years pouring his life into, owner Zach Pulliam still couldn’t claim victory just yet.

Pulliam, who was forced to close his original Abari Game Bar location in 2020 due to COVID-19 and rising rent prices at the Optimist Park site, said he was relieved but still anxious about the opening of its successor, Super Abari Game Bar. “It’s great to finally see people in here,” he told me. “It’s great to finally have an actual night of service, but it’s still kind of the beginning in a lot of ways. We got a lot of stuff we still need to get done.

So I’m still stressed, but a little bit more relieved now that things are kind of running and I can see where I need to fix certain things.”

Pulliam faced a number of obstacles in opening Super Abari, located on Seigle Avenue between Belmont Avenue and Van Every Street in north Charlotte’s Belmont neighborhood. The rezoning process alone dragged on for seven months before he could even start on renovations and new construction.

But on Monday, May 16, Pulliam and his team saw all their work come to fruition with the grand opening of Super Abari Game Bar. The name fits, as the new location features expanded versions of everything that made the original Abari location so popular. If you count the new patio, the 5,500 square feet of space at Super Abari nearly doubles the 2,800 square feet that was open to patrons at the last spot. That allows for a bigger arcade to fit the 60+ games and 35 pinball machines, a roomier console lounge, a larger bar, and a patio that’s a breath of fresh air for those who remember the glorified stairwell that served as the porch in Optimist Park.

community that Abari cultivates among Charlotte gamers.

Michael Zytkow, founder of local gaming and civic engagement organization Potions & Pixels, could barely hide his excitement at the May 7 preview event.

“I think it’s crucial for the gaming community and for people in general to have venues like this where they feel comfortable, where they know they can be themselves so they can have a good time,” Zytkow said, signaling to the people around him. “The thing that we all share in common in the gaming community — as you can see that we all get along very well — is that we recognize games have the power to bring people together like nothing else.”

To that point, the preview event was hosted by Charlotte Gaymers Network (CGN), a local LGBTQ gamer organization. Co-founder Jonathan Barrio told me he helped launch the organization in 2020 partly because he was inspired by the inclusivity at Abari Game Bar. “Abari was one of the only places in Charlotte where LGBTQ gamers could go and feel welcome before the Charlotte Gaymers Network was created,” Barrio said. “So we have a lot of love and respect for Zach and what he built and being so inclusive to all different creeds of people, cultures, diversities, everything. That’s why we really wanted to throw our support behind him.”

In May 2021, Barrio enlisted the help of his fellow CGN members to show up at the original Abari months after it had closed to help Pulliam wheel out the dozens of arcade games and cabinets that remained inside.

More than 80 people showed up that day in a show of solidarity that inspired Pulliam to keep pushing to open Super Abari.

“I wasn’t expecting that,” Pulliam recalled. “I was just expecting a few friends to come and help.

An atmosphere of inclusivity It was insane.”

More important than any new expansion is That day also inspired the May 7 preview event. the return of something more visceral: the sense of “Basically I made the promise, I was like, ‘Hey,

A SUPER ABARI PATRON FIGHTS IT OUT ON ONE OF THE BAR’S 60+ ARCADE GAMES. PHOTO BY JONATHAN GOLIAN

whenever we open the new spot, I am going to Abari, admitting that he sometimes regretted it. invite all of you out and you’re going to get to enjoy I asked if, now that he could see his efforts start it before everybody else because you helped me do to come to fruition, he finally felt like it was all this.’” worth it.

“It feels good, but it’s one of those things where Roadblocks and pressure for Pulliam it’s still early. I think it’s nice to see all these people Things didn’t always come together so smoothly having fun, and it definitely makes me feel better, for Pulliam, however. Even after the lengthy but it was a huge investment for me, way more than rezoning process that continuously pushed back the first time,” he told me. “I’m happy I did it because his plans, he ran into months-long delays with I love doing this … but I think COVID did a lot to really kind of instill that fear in me because I get that architectural drawings and other obstacles.

In social media posts over the past year, he this could happen [again].”

For those who have been rooting him on from was candid about feeling pressured into reopening the sidelines and stepping in to help when they can,

however, what Pulliam has accomplished is of an importance that he may not even yet register.

“To see all of our work germinate into what this is today has been really amazing and very fulfilling,” Barrio said, “just being able to support somebody who’s been so supportive, no questions asked, without any motivation, to be good to each other and be good to people. Zack truly built a community for everybody here at Abari, and I can’t tell you how many of our members come to us and tell us how comfortable, how safe they feel as LGBTQ+ people here at Abari.”

Zytkow, who lives just a couple of blocks from Super Abari, said that in the future he hopes to work with Pulliam on community initiatives for the Belmont neighborhood and surrounding areas — similar to the workforce development program the two partnered on in 2019 — but for now, he is just taking it all in.

He hoped Pulliam would find some time to do the same.

“I’m really proud of Zach and I’m so happy to see this all come together,” Zytkow said, “because COVID devastated so many people in our community in so many different ways, and to see small businesses like his get hit so hard for the duration of COVID and to also experience issues of growth and development that negatively impacted him, this is a way of saying ‘Hey, we’re here. We’re building something that’s not going to go away.’ I feel like he needs to just be so proud of what he’s done.”

SUPER ABARI CELEBRATED ITS GRAND OPENING ON MAY 16.

PHOTO BY JONATHAN GOLIAN

RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM

PHOTO BY JONATHAN GOLIAN

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SUPER ABARI FEATURES 35 PINBALL MACHINES.

ARTS FEATURE

ART IS FOR EVERYONE Advocates team up to offer descriptive walking art tours for the blind

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BY NIKOLAI MATHER

In front of the ImaginOn Center next to the Rail Trail on East 7th Street stands an enormous stack of stone books with a giant inkwell on top, and nearby a jumble of statuettes emerge from the ground that upon closer investigation represent typewriter keys.

When I went looking for it on a recent afternoon, however, it was easy to find.

Upon approaching the stack, I closed my eyes and tapped the play button on my iPhone.

“It’s as if we are standing on a giant’s desk, but he has stepped away,” the narrator describes. “Atop this structure stands an inkwell which holds a massive gold feather quill pen that swivels around by gusts of wind.”

The description continued, making note of the minutiae: the inscriptions, the texture, the general atmosphere this sculpture conjured up. I opened my eyes, feeling genuinely surprised.

I had passed this installation countless times before but had barely ever noticed it. I had certainly never registered the inkwell, never studied the patina of the typewriter keys. It was like I was seeing the statues for the first time.

“The Writer’s Desk” was one of nine stops on the inaugural Art Is for Everyone descriptive walking tour, which allows people with low vision or no vision to get a taste of Charlotte’s public art scene through audio description, artist analysis and fellowship.

The tours are an ongoing collaboration between ArtWalks Charlotte, Disability Rights & Resources and Metrolina Association for the Blind.

On April 22, the group held their second walking tour in Plaza Midwood. I had to miss it due to a COVID-19 scare, but because the audio from the 2021 tour was readily available online, I took the tour myself.

I came out of my solo tour all the more intrigued by the idea of making art accessible to visually impaired people, so I went to the founders to find out more.

Art is for everyone

Rosebud Turner is a creative force. After retiring from teaching English and social studies, she wrote two children’s books and a memoir in verse. She’s an author, a poet and a lifelong art lover.

What sets her apart from most creatives in Charlotte is that she is blind. She lost her vision 16 years ago, but never her passion for the arts.

“I had a hunger still for that,” she said. “I’ve always loved art.”

That hunger has kept her going to theatre performances and museum exhibits. When she heard about a tour of public art specifically for people with vision loss, her interest was piqued.

Dana Draa, chief program officer at Metrolina Association for the Blind, was one of the key forces behind the tour. She has worked to improve accessibility for unsighted people for 17 years, but an experience in 2020 led her to launch the Art Is for Everyone tours.

It was that summer that Draa’s visually impaired friend Sherri Thomson asked Draa to accompany her to the newly painted Black Lives Matter mural on Tryon Street in Uptown so as to describe what the mural looked like.

Thompson was moved by the Tryon Street visit.

“It was so impactful for her,” Draa said. “That planted the seed in my head.”

In the course of visiting the mural together, Draa had an epiphany: Cities create public art so the public can enjoy it, but how accessible is it to people with disabilities?

Draa reached out to Anne Low of ArtWalks Charlotte as well as Julia Sain and Samantha Nevins of Disability Rights & Resources. With funding from the Arts and Science Council, they charted a path around Uptown’s most notable works of public art.

On their inaugural tour, art lovers joined them to find out more about the history and meaning behind some of Charlotte’s more recognizable public art — some of whom had never had a chance to appreciate it.

The first tour was confined to seven blocks, all of which remained close to the Rail Trail with

A PATRON ENGAGES WITH PUBLIC ART DURING A RECENT WALKING TOUR. PHOTO COURTESY OF METROLINA ASSOCIATION FOR THE BLIND

plenty of benches and rest stops along the way, as accessibility was the priority. Several of the stops had a touch-related component, making it easier for people with low to no vision to physically sense it.

The group arranged transportation, planned a lunch, and consulted with disability safety expert Brad Blair to ensure guests could fully engage with the art.

Rosebud Turner was “thrilled” at how the audio descriptions noted all the details: the subjects’ ethnicities, the colors of their scarves, the texture of the brick. “It made it very clear for me, but not only for me,” she said.

The tour also deepened the understanding of these works for sighted people like Turner’s friend, who was surprised by how much the tour helped her.

“She kept saying, ‘This isn’t just for unsighted people.’ Because looking at it, and listening to the description, she kept saying, ‘I never noticed that. I didn’t even notice that part.’”

How audio description has evolved

As executive director of Disability Rights & Resources, a nonprofit working to address the disparities disabled people face in Charlotte, Samantha Nevins plays a number of roles. One of those roles is trained audio descriptor, in which Nevins helps convey visual details to blind or low vision people at events.

“We audio describe field trips for folks, we’ll audio describe a mural here and there, we’ll audio describe an event,” she said. “During some of the protests down in Charlotte two years ago, we were called to come and audio describe the protests.

Over the past few years, though, the majority of our trained audio description work was for live theatre.”

Modern audio description, which serves to narrate movies and theatrical performances, has been in use since the early 20th century. But sighted people sometimes find it perplexing — if they think about audio description at all.

ARTS FEATURE

Obstacles to accessibility

At one point in our conversation, I asked Draa what she thought about the misconception that

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Though many organizations, from Disney to Blumenthal, employ audio description, there remain countless mediums and platforms that lack it.

What results is an access gap between the sighted and unsighted. For example, much of the internet remains out of reach for visually impaired users. Many websites don’t support descriptive alternative text, or alt text, for photos and videos. The few that do often feature clumsily written alt text, detailing too much, too little or something completely irrelevant. This, Turner said, can make for a confusing experience. “[In audio descriptions] there has to be — both visually and in written form — just a love of detail.

That’s key, because sometimes you get too much detail, and it’s like, ‘What? Why are you telling me that part?’” she said.

Quality audio description, particularly in the arts, strikes a balance between the necessary and the poetic. Nevins said the trained descriptor style remains “kind of old guard.”

“There was always a way that we were taught to describe things,” she said. “However, that is evolving and that is changing.” One thing that’s changing is language norms. Audio descriptors are now more adept at noting the apparent race, gender and disability of performers and portrait subjects.

As people with low to no vision continue to assert their needs, the method of description continues to change.

The project Alt Text as Poetry, for example, advocates for a more prosaic, rather than perfunctory, approach to alt text. On the walking tour, blind and partially blind participants continually asked for clarification and further details of the artwork.

Balancing the perspectives of the tour participants, the artists, and the docents was a huge task for Nevins and her fellow audio descriptor Marty Musser.

“Needless to say, Marty and I were stressed,” Nevins laughed. “I was very nervous that day reading our descriptions about [the artist’s] art. Like, ‘Hope we did it justice!’”

To Nevins, the collaborative spirit was worth all the stress. “The way we all kind of piggybacked on each other, this symbiotic thing that was happening … It was so amazing.”

“We’re making a piece of art come alive,” said Draa.

blind people don’t enjoy visual art. Draa immediately cleared things up.

“What I think sighted people get wrong is not thinking about how people with vision loss experience art,” she said. “It’s not that there’s misconceptions, it’s just that there is a complete lack of thought about it.”

Turner echoed that sentiment.

“Sighted people don’t understand how many steps there are to do something that we actually might want to do,” she said.

Turner loves going to museums and the theatre, but she can easily understand why other blind people might find those events too daunting.

First, you have to purchase a ticket, potentially through a non-accessible website. Then you need a ride. You might also need a guide. And then there are the spontaneous challenges. What if there are technical difficulties with the earphones you wear to receive audio description? What if a sighted person says something out of pocket to you?

“It’s that kind of thing that really stops someone who is unsighted to venture out,” Turner said. “That’s just something people need to understand. It’s not always a lack of interest. It’s just really choosing where to put my energy.”

She thinks Charlotte’s art world can do better, and that begins with listening to blind and partially sighted people.

“If you call an agency, almost insist ‘I really wanna talk to someone who is actually unsighted.’

Because a lot of people only talk to a Dana [Draa].

Dana has worked with unsighted people almost all of her life — don’t get me wrong, she has lots of knowledge — but she’s never been unsighted.”

Draa said she agrees. Working with blind people has taught her to recognize where there’s a disparity, but she feels most non-disabled people are unwilling to acknowledge how they’ve excluded disabled people in daily life.

“When you tell them who’s not in the room, there’s crickets,” she said.

And though the tour series is a major step, she’s waiting for the rest of Charlotte’s art scene to make their own moves.

“I question if the Charlotte art community cares about people with disabilities,” she said.

“I’m on the fence because, in engaging people in the arts community, I have been ignored more than I’ve been engaged. Let’s challenge them and say, ‘Hey, let’s do some more inclusion of all people when it comes to art.’ Everyone deserves the right to experience it in some way, shape or form.”

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Mamoru Hosada’s anime retelling of Beauty and the Beast, casts a virtual-reality platform called U as a stand-in for the magical castle in the original fairy tale. Lonely teenager Suzu finds validation in the VR realm, transforming into the ethereal avatar of Belle, who is a phenomenal pop singer. (Hosada harnesses this plot point to turn the film into a quasi-musical in which characters unleash their hopes and dreams via song.) When the crass beast crashes one of Belle’s concerts, the pop princess proves to be a feminist, refusing to be dominated by the wolf-headed outcast.

More: $10; May 18, 7 p.m.; VisArt Video, 3104 Eastway Dr.; charlottefilm.com/events/film/studiovisart

“What is home, and how does our idea of home shape our reality?” These are just two questions tackled by Plow, a dance performance devised by Charlotte-based movement artist Megan Payne and dance artist and educator Joy Davis. (In addition to dancing with Payne, Davis also creates and tours duets with her husband, Dr. Eric Mullis.) The piece is designed to explore the intimacy and meaning of home. For Payne in particular, the performance is an offering of acceptance and gratitude for her upbringing in Central Appalachia, a notion reflected in the piece’s choreography.

More: $10; May 21, 7:30 p.m.; Goodyear Arts, Camp North End, 301 Camp Road; goodyeararts.com

‘BELLE’

PLOW

CINE CASUAL: HECHO AQUI-SHORTS SHOWCASE Photo by Brandon Weiner

FREESTYLE LOVE SUPREME Promotional photo

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CINE CASUAL: HECHO AQUI-SHORTS MUSIC & MUSEUM: A KALEIDOSCOPE FREESTYLE LOVE SUPREME Before there was Hamilton, the hip-hop SHOWCASE CONCERT

Cine Casual presents four internationally acclaimed and award-winning Latin American shorts based in North Carolina. Rosalia Torres-Weiner’s The Magic Kite depicts a little boy unfurling a kite to release the sorrow of losing his father. William D. Caballero’s Chilly & Milly documents the undying love between a devoted caretaker and her chronically ill husband.

Seen through an innocent’s eyes, Sean Burleson’s Abuela examines loss and hope, while The Final Note tells the story of how Tony Arreaza and his band, UltimaNota, created a transcendent album and musical milestone with a host of local guest musicians.

More: $6; May 21, 6 p.m.; International House,1817 Central Ave.; cinecasual.com/filmseries

This Kaleidoscope Concert can be seen as a complementary soundtrack for the Bechtler Collection. The museum’s visual art bonanza captures a remarkable era of art history with works by some of the most important and influential figures of modernism, ranging from Post-War abstraction master Alexander Nicolas de Staël to Andy Warhol. The evening’s program includes works by 19th-century “nationalist” Czech composer Bedřich Smetana, followed by Sergei Prokofiev’s first string quartet, commissioned by the Library of Congress. Music by American film and TV composer Patrick Williams caps the performance.

More: $5-14; May 22, 6 p.m.; Bechtler Museum, 420 S. Tryon St.; bechtler.org

history lesson that redefined what a Broadway musical could be, there was Freestyle Love Supreme. The original — and unscripted — hip-hop musical phenomenon was conceived in 2005 by Anthony Veneziale and Hamilton’s Lin-Manuel Miranda and Thomas Kail. Like any improv show, Freestyle Love Supreme engages theater-goers by creating and shaping content on the spot from suggestions shouted out from the audience, but the eponymous hip-hop ensemble raises the stakes by turning the crowd’s solicited input into rapid-fire raps and spoken-word riffs. It’s quicksilver brilliance enacted without a net.

More: $20 and up; May 24 -29, Knight Theater, 430 S. Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org

WED5/25 ‘IBA OBINRIN’

In 2021, founder of contemporary dance troupe Moving Spirits Tamara Williams was commissioned

by The National Center for Choreography to create a new dance film for her company. The result, Ìba Obinrin, is a collaboration with filmmaker Marlon Morrison and musician Luciano Xavier. It features Williams and three Moving Spirits dancers performing on location in Charlotte at the Big Rock Nature Preserve and by the Catawba River and McAlpine Creek. A live dance performance follows the screening of the film, as well as a discussion with Williams and Morrison.

More: Free; May 25, 6:30 p.m.; Gantt Center, 551 S. Tryon St.; ganttcenter.org

SAT5/28

FRI 5/27

CAL MARO, NATALIE CARR, ALAN UNSEEN OCEANS “Where Alph, the sacred river ran/Through caverns CHARMER

NATALIE CARR Photo by Jamie Tout

5/27

Brooklyn’s Cal Maro operates in the neo-soul/ contemporary R&B lane, where he gently layers soulful melodies and head-nodding grooves to cinematic production techniques. There’s no better fit on the bill than Natalie Carr. Her lush vocals soothe and caress over mid-tempo rhythms and shimmering synths, while her lyrics reveal vulnerability plus a determination to embrace life’s hard-won lessons. It’s like a sun-drenched day at the beach, bright on the surface while riptides coil beneath the breakers. As Alan Charmer, Junior Astronomers frontman Terrence Richard draws listeners in with atmosphere and emotion.

More: $10-14; May 27, 8 p.m.; Visulite Theatre, 615 Elizabeth Ave.; visulite.com

SAT5/28 UNSHADOWED WALKING TOUR

measureless to man/Down to a sunless sea,” wrote English romantic poet Samuel Coleridge, but even that visionary artist could scarce imagine the alien world that dwells beneath the Earth’s sunlit seas.

Discovery Place Science harnesses technology to share subterranean sights ranging from zooplankton that allegedly inspired the creature design from Alien to true-to-life images of blue whales and giant squid. Climb into a scale model of a deep sea submersible to marvel at the Hudson Canyon — a 37-mile long undersea trench just 100 miles from New York City.

More: $17-19; opens May 28; Discovery Place Science, 301 N. Tryon St.; science.discoveryplace.org DISCOVERY PLACE: UNSEEN OCEANS Courtesy of NASA

5/28

TUE 5/31

LAND

GUIDED LOFIDELS, PAINT FUMES, WES & THE RAILROADERS, DYLAN GILBERT, DJ Art installation Unshadowed Land has been a year CLAUDIO ORTIZ

UNSHADOWED LAND Courtesy of Davidson College

5/28

Help the community rally around Chef Carlos Diaz, beloved for running Carlos Dogs, and whose teen daughter recently passed away, tragically succumbing to cancer. The talent on tap to benefit Diaz and his family includes Lenny Muckle’s angular post-punk funk project Lofidels, Paint Fumes’ brainrewired-after-serious-head-trauma punk rock and Wes and the Railroaders’ authentic barstool laureate country. Dylan Gilbert, creator of paranoid masterpiece I’ll Be the Lakebed and its ethereal successor, Spirit Breeze, is also on tap, along with Claudio Ortiz (Patabamba, Chócala), a DJ with impeccable taste.

More: $10; May 31, 8 p.m.; Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave.; petrasbar.com

DYLAN GILBERT Photo by Amy Herman

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in the making. Beginning in November, Tlingit and Unangax artist Nicholas Galanin led Davidson volunteers in tilling the college campus soil in the shape and scale of the Andrew Jackson monument on Lafyette Square in Washington D.C. Then Catawba Nation members planted corn in Jackson’s shadow.

The purpose of the outdoor art installation is to metaphorically “bury” the Jackson monument. The tour explores the history of the site as indigenous land, the legacy of enslavement, and the power of historic foodways and cultural memory.

More: Free; May 28, 10 a.m.; Davidson College, 405 N. Main St., Davidson; charlottemuseum.org

MUSIC FEATURE

REFRESH, REPEAT Martin Hacker-Mullen’s musical stress test

Pg. 12 MAY 18 - MAY 31, 2022 - QCNERVE.COM

BY PAT MORAN

Singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist Martin Hacker-Mullen is at a crossroads: Two rock projects they’ve played in, and contributed to for several years, are going through some changes.

Charlotte band Clearbody — comprised of HackerMullen and their two closest friends, vocalist/ guitarist Eric Smeal and drummer Seth Wesner — has garnered national attention and rave reviews with the release of its 2020 debut album One More Day. While not poised like Clearbody for a commercial breakthrough, the second project on HackerMullen’s plate claims a firmer hold on their heart.

Emo-punk-inspired Stress Fractures began in 2017 as its creator’s solo project. Now, impacted in part by Clearbody’s burgeoning success, Stress Fractures has seen a shift in personnel and where its upcoming debut album was recorded, but the band remains hotwired to Hacker-Mullen’s psyche.

Despite Clearbody’s hard work, creativity and camaraderie, it’s still surprising to be part of what is touted as the next big pop-punk band from Charlotte, Hacker-Mullen acknowledges.

“We were confident in [Clearbody’s One More Day], but had no idea it would have that range of appeal,” Hacker-Mullen says. “We thought that our friends would like it, and … peers would listen to it. But magazines that I bought at Books-A-Million when I was in high school writing about me now is not something I expected.”

Hacker-Mullen is referring to a Spin Magazine headline proclaiming that “Clearbody Up Their Game” upon the album’s release.

It shouldn’t be surprising, however, that HackerMullen’s musical multi-tasking is beginning to bear fruit.

“It’s fun to challenge myself with all these different projects, and never keep myself in one style of writing or music,” Hacker-Mullen says.

The bassist/guitarist/vocalist has jumped with both feet into a heavy shoegaze combo, a punkrock group and a power-violence screamo-hardcore band. Hacker-Mullen also joined as touring guitarist

for Charlotte emo-punk band Jail Socks, where they saw a Charlotte band with national exposure go from breakthrough to potential break-up. (Jail Socks is currently on hiatus.)

When Queen City Nerve reaches Hacker-Mullen by phone, they are at The Animal Farm, a restored 19th-century farmhouse and barn in Flemington, New Jersey, that’s been turned into a recording studio.

With Smeal, Wesner and producer Jon Markson (Drug Church, Taking Meds) Hacker-Mullen is in the middle of a stretch of four 10-hour days recording the full-length follow up to One More Day. Despite Hacker-Mullen’s commitment to Clearbody, their first musical priority is — and perhaps always will be — Stress Fractures.

Mamas, Papas and Dollhands

New Jersey-born, but raised in Columbia, South Carolina, Hacker-Mullen discovered guitar (and Guitar Hero) at the age of 8. When the video game drew more of their attention than the instrument, their mother pulled the plug and signed HackerMullen up for proper lessons.

Now 25, Hacker-Mullen cites musical inspirations like Pennsylvania emo and math-rock band Algernon Cadwallader, which introduced them to the guitar tuning they currently use. Mid-to-late1990s and early-2000s emo and pop-punk bands like Blink 182, Third Eye Blind and Jimmy Eat World are even more influential.

“Pop music is important to understand if you want to put together music that people are going to listen to,” Hacker-Mullen says.

Based in Winnsboro, South Carolina, Stress Fractures released its first two EPs, Don’t Close Your Eyes and Rock and Roll is Dead, in 2018. HackerMullen’s friend Marcus Wickham played drums on the EPs while primary songwriter Hacker-Mullen sang and played everything else.

Don’t Close Your Eyes is a collection of break-up songs, but on Rock and Roll is Dead, Hacker-Mullen’s

FROM LEFT: MARTIN HACKER-MULLEN, SETH WESNER AND ERIC SMEAL. muse is far more emotional and personal.

Hacker-Mullen drew lots of inspiration from their mother’s domestic partner, Steve Hobson, as the budding guitarist and musician navigated through middle and high school.

Hobson was a session guitarist who toured with big name classic-rock acts including Paul Revere & The Raiders and folk rock icons The Mamas & the Papas. “[Hobson] helped me understand how to play my guitar better,” Hacker-Mullen offers. “He’s probably the greatest guitarist I’ve ever known, and I was grateful for the time I got to have with him.”

When Hacker-Mullen was 17, Hobson, who struggled with addiction, passed away.

PHOTO BY KATHY GARCIA

“That hit me hard,” Hacker-Mullen says.

The next person to impact Hacker-Mullen’s life was longtime friend and bandmate Eric Smeal.

Similar to Stress Fractures’ early musical efforts, Smeal released Flare Gun, the first album by their band Dollhands in 2015. Smeal wrote all the songs, played all the instruments and recorded the project alone.

Hacker-Mullen and Smeal came together in a roundabout way. By 2018, Stress Fractures’ lineup was in flux.

Wickham had moved to Nashville, and HackerMullen’s partner, Liz Neyman, had begun playing bass for the band.

Then Neyman moved to Charlotte, and Hacker-

MUSIC FEATURE

Hacker-Mullen the trio began to influence each other musically. Regardless of the possible cause, Dollhands, which was Smeal’s primary writing vehicle just as Stress Fractures is Hacker-Mullen’s mode of expression, began to change.

“Seth and I were interested in shoegaze and punk and hardcore,” Hacker-Mullen says. “Dollhands … was straightforward punk-leaning garage-rock music.”

As Smeal’s interests shifted to other musical genres and they started dabbling in different writing styles, Dollhands shed its old identity. With the rebranding of the band as Clearbody, Smeal decided to step away from playing guitar for Stress Fractures, a move approved by Hacker-Mullen.

Although Hacker-Mullen is proud of the Dollhands releases, the name and identity change was beneficial.

“We reshaped it into Clearbody and focused on how can we get heavy-driving guitar tones and intricate guitar leads, but still have awesome atmospheric rhythms,” Hacker-Mullen says.

As a result, One More Day, by the rechristened Clearbody, became a passionate labor of love.

The band’s commitment is obvious in songs like “Ultraclarity,” where fuzzed subterranean bass anchors jagged distorted guitars that radiate outward in a shimmering emo/hardcore aurora.

Similarly, the anthemic “Quarterback” enfolds wheeling scythes of flashing guitars with sweet and soaring vocals. Ethereal wordless vocals also simmer atop chugging hardcore riffs on “Scratch the Color.”

Speaking from Animal Farm, Hacker-Mullen says the forthcoming second LP will up the ante. They feel that Clearbody’s sophomore album provides the band an opportunity to create songs that sound hard as nails.

“My favorite thing about the album we’re working on now [is] you can hear the cohesion between everything,” Hacker-Mullen says. “Every song shares the same qualities but [they] choose a different aspect to bump up.”

Smeal says that One More Day, as captivating as it is, is a collection of older songs the band had been playing prior to the rebrand as Clearbody.

“The new stuff is totally 100% us,” Smeal says.

“A lot of One More Day was written just by me, but all of the new songs we wrote together. It’s better because of that.”

To add to Hacker-Mullen’s eventful playing and releasing schedule, they also tracked Stress Fracture’s upcoming debut album over the course of

to try to make it good, it can be good — but it is a fight, and you shouldn’t forget that.”

Stress Fractures is scheduled to play Snug Harbor on May 31.

As important as Stress Fractures is to HackerMullen as an outlet, Clearbody’s next release is eagerly anticipated. Why not put all their musical and career eggs in the Clearbody basket?

“It’s the same reason my eggs were spread even further before,” says Hacker-Mullen. “I want music to be my job. I don’t want to have to clock in anywhere ever again.”

Smeal also has high expectations for Clearbody’s new music.

“I hope people like it,” Smeal says. “But I’m just trying to have fun and rock with my buddies.”

PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM

MAY 2022 M O N , M AY 2 3 W E D , M AY 1 8

TOSCO MUSIC OPEN MIC T H U R , M AY 1 9

WILLY TEA TAYLOR + JEFFERY MARTIN F R I , M AY 2 0

22 & GOOD 4 U (21+) S A T, M AY 2 1

COSMIC COLLECTIVE W/ CANNOLI (9pm show)

LEON III eveningmuse.com

FIND YOUR MUSE OPEN MIC FEAT. LAUREN ANDERSON W E D , M AY 2 5

RED CLAY STRAYS

W/JUSTIN CLYDE WILLIAMS T H U R , M AY 2 6

MARK BRADY AND TYLER WOOD COMEDY F R I , M AY 2 7

TRENT THOMPSON AND RIGOMETRICS S A T, M A Y 2 8

LUKE WINSLOW-KING ALBUM RELEASE TOUR W/ DANIEL LUTZ

3 3 2 7 n d av i d s o n s t, c h a r l o t t e n c

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Mullen began visiting frequently. On one visit, Hacker-Mullen approached Smeal, who was then booking Charlotte shows, and hit them up for a pass to a local gig by the band Mom Jeans. Once HackerMullen subsequently moved to Charlotte for a sixmonth spell, they struck up a friendship.

“Almost every night, Eric was picking me or [me and Neyman] up and taking us wherever,” HackerMullen says. “We would just hang out all night.”

After a year and a half of socializing, the relationship changed with a shakeup in Dollhands’ lineup. Smeal went looking for a new bass player.

“I was they’re first choice … to play bass,” Hacker-Mullen says. “It came about naturally.”

Shortly after that, in 2019, Dollhands and Stress Fractures released the split EP Spring Break. HackerMullen next asked Smeal to play drums in Stress Fractures.

Smeal said yes, but switched from drums to guitar in short order. Mutual friend Seth Wesner stepped in on Dollhands’ drum stool.

In late 2018, Hacker-Mullen and Smeal launched Acrobat Unstable Records with the intention of having an outlet for their own music, Hacker-Mullen says.

It has since developed into a resource for releasing music Hacker-Mullen and Smeal feel needs to be heard, including a few projects by friends who lack the means to get their music on record.

Clearbody’s One More Day was released by thirdparty label Smartpunk, and the band is currently shopping for a label to release Clearbody’s as yet untitled second album.

“It’s nice when you can have a third party as interested in what you’re working on as you,” HackerMullen says. “I personally would like if somebody could fuck with this record as much as we do, so that they could help us push it the way that it needs to be pushed.”

The back-and-forth between the two bands spilled over onto Stress Fractures’ 2020 EP Short Films. The lineup for this release is Smeal on guitar, Wesner on drums, Neyman on production, and Hacker-Mullen on vocals, guitar and production.

Hacker-Mullen says the EP might not have come about without the input of Smeal, who had written Stress Fractures’ forthcoming debut LP and had some leftover songs that didn’t seem to fit with the rest of the album.

“I was thinking I might just shelve [the songs], and focus harder on the stuff I think is more cohesive,” Hacker-Mullen says. “Eric was like, ‘I think these are three of the best songs you’ve ever written. It would be upsetting if you never put them out.’”

From Dollhands to Clearbody to Stress Fractures

10 days last year in Florida.

With Smeal having stepped away from guitar for the band, a new Stress Fractures lineup was necessitated for the album. Caden Clinton from Tallahassee emo band Pool Kids played drums on the album while Hacker-Mullen plays everything else.

Hacker-Mullen is currently getting the LP mixed for an as-yet-unscheduled release.

“It’s a self-titled album,” Hacker-Mullen says.

“The lyrical themes play into the concept of a stress fracture — doing something over and over again until it breaks. I’m using my own moniker as my writing inspiration.”

The sobering theme fits in with the overall message of Stress Fractures’ music, Hacker-Mullen says.

“What I get behind with a lot of my music is that life is fucking hard and it’s terrible, but if you want

WEDNESDAY, MAY 18 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Clutch (The Fillmore) Blackwater Holylight w/ Bleakheart, Donnie Doolittle (Snug Harbor) Thousand Dollar Movie w/ Solis (Tommy’s Pub)

JAZZ/BLUES

Persona Bell w/ The Sean Higgins Trio (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Mystery Skulls (Amos’ Southend)

OPEN MIC

Tosco Music Open Mic (Evening Muse)

THURSDAY, MAY 19 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The HU (The Fillmore) Lombardy w/ Canyon, Beauty (The Milestone) The Woggles w/ The Penitentials (Snug Harbor)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Willy Tea Taylor w/ Jeffery Martin (Evening Muse) The Quebe Sisters w/ Ian Thomas (Neighborhood Theatre)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ keshi (The Underground)

ACOUSTIC/SINGER-SONGERWRITER

Carolina Songwriters in the Round feat. Tracey Simpson (Petra’s)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

The Voltage Brothers (Middle C Jazz)

OPEN MIC Pg. 14 MAY 18 - MAY 31, 2022 - QCNERVE.COM

DOAP Hip-Hop Open Mic (Crown Station)

FRIDAY, MAY 20 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The Girls w/ Plan B, The Hellfire Choir (The Milestone) The Eyebrows w/ Rhyal Knight, Monachopsis (Petra’s)

Dave Matthews Band (PNC Music Pavilion) Comino w/ King Cackle, Haw River Hounds, Bog Loaf (Skylark Social Club) The Council Ring (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar) Nobodi Important (Tommy’s Pub)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Kidd G (Amos’ Southend) Lainey Wilson w/ King Calaway (Coyote Joe’s) Aoife O’Donovan w/ The Wildmans (Neighborhood Theatre)

ACOUSTIC/SINGER-SONGWRITER

Nate Randall (Heist Brewery & Barrel Arts)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

22 & good for u (Taylor Swift and Olivia Rodrigo dance party) (Evening Muse) Poppy (The Underground) Destructo (SERJ)

JAZZ/BLUES

Emmet Cohen Trio (Stage Door Theater) Joey Defrancesco (Middle C Jazz) High Pulp w/ Jared Mattson, Quad (Snug Harbor)

CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

Charlotte Symphony: Beethoven’s No. 9 (Knight Theater)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

The Missing Finger (Grateful Dead tribute) (Crown Station)

SATURDAY, MAY 21 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Chris Trapper w/ Pat McGee (Evening Muse) Leon III (Evening Muse) Lil’ Skritt w/ Bog Loaf, The Body Bags (The Milestone) Plastic Flamingos w/ ShotClock, Evergone (Petra’s) The Tune Hounds (Primal Brewery) The So-Called Natives w/ Carolina Beer Money, Dumpster Service (Tommy’s Pub)

JAZZ/BLUES

Emmet Cohen Trio (Stage Door Theater)

CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

Charlotte Symphony: Beethoven’s No. 9 (Knight Theater)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

AfroPop! Charlotte (Crown Station) Friction (SERJ) Industrial Park (Skylark Social Club) Deep Fried Disco (Snug Harbor)

ACOUSTIC/SINGER-SONGWRITER Matt Bush (Primal Brewery)

SUNDAY, MAY 22 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Flat Out Insult w/ Bngfoot, Collective Insanity, Iron Sights (The Milestone) The Band of Heathens w/ Reed Foehl (Neighborhood Theatre) School of Rock Charlotte (Visulite Theatre)

ACOUSTIC/SINGER-SONGWRITER Kris Atom (Tommy’s Pub)

JAZZ/BLUES

Greg Manning w/ Jeff Ryan (Middle C Jazz)

CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

Charlotte Symphony: Beethoven’s No. 9 (Knight Theater)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Celtic Session w/ Alan Davis (Tommy’s Pub)

MONDAY, MAY 23 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Wage War (The Underground) Austin Possum w/ Halloween Costume Contest, January Knife, Patrick Mawn (The Milestone)

JAZZ/BLUES

The Conn/Davis Jazz Duo (Crown Station) The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Find Your Muse Open Mic feat. Lauren Anderson (Evening Muse)

TUESDAY, MAY 24 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Sound and SHape w/ Middleasia, Metaltape (The Milestone) Primitive Man w/ Mortiferum, Jarhead Fertilizer, Body Void, Elizabeth Colour Wheel (Snug Harbor)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Cosmic Jam (Crown Station) Lost Cargo: Tiki Social Party (Petra’s)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA Orville Peck (The Fillmore)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Influences & Originals feat. Taylor Johnston, PJ Brunson, Randy Higgins (Tommy’s Pub)

WEDNESDAY, MAY 25 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Indigo de Souza (Amos’ Southend) Red Clay Strays w/ Justin Clyde Williams (Evening Muse) Kings Kaleidoscope (Visulite Theatre)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Matt Costanza w/ Woolybooger, A.P. Rodgers (Snug Harbor)

JAZZ/BLUES

Paul Dozier (Middle C Jazz)

THURSDAY, MAY 26 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Dreamboat w/ North by North, Faye (Petra’s)

JAZZ/BLUES

Willie Walker & Conversation Piece (Middle C Jazz)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Tecoby Hines w/ Curt Keyz, Cuzo Key (Snug Harbor)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Crystal Bowersox w/ Adeem the Artist (Neighborhood Theatre)

OPEN MIC

DOAP Hip-Hop Open Mic (Crown Station)

FRIDAY, MAY 27 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Reality Something w/ The New Creatures (The Milestone) The Temperance League (Smoey Joe’s Cafe & Bar) Harsh Realm w/ Militar, Cave Grave, Prosperity Gospel (Snug Harbor)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

T-Pain (The Fillmore) Cal Maro w/ Natalie Carr, Alan Charmer (Visulite Theatre)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Trent Thompson w/ Rigometrics (Evening Muse)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

JAZZ/BLUES

Marcus Johnson (Middle C Jazz) Robert Glasper (Neighborhood Theatre)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

The Small Emergency w/ WAG, Andy Guy (Petra’s)

Primal Jam feat. Matt Fowler, Lua Flora (Primal Brewery)

SATURDAY, MAY 28 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Burning Witches (Amos’ Southend) Mercury Dimes w/ 6 Cardinal, StormWatchers (Petra’s) Mojo Stomp (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar) Celebrity Death Slot Machine w/ Wastoid, Ape Piss (Snug Harbor) Hellfire 76 (Tommy’s Pub)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Anella Herim (Crown Station)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC

Digital Noir w/ DJ Spider (The Milestone)

JAZZ/BLUES

Luke Winslow w/ Daniel Lutz (Evening Muse) Alexander Zonjic & Friends feat. James Lloyd (Middle C Jazz) Primal Jam feat. Liam Pendergrass, Matt Walsh (Primal Brewery)

SUNDAY, MAY 29 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Wallows (The Fillmore) Nemesis w/ Bacalou, Dire Hatred, Krvsade (The Milestone)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B/BLUES Cedric Bowler (Visulite Theatre)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC Hazy Sunday (Petra’s)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Primal Jam feat. Eternally Grateful, The Small Emergency (Primal Brewery)

MONDAY, MAY 30 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Daniel Romano’s Outfit w/ Carson McHone (Neigborhood Theatre)

JAZZ/BLUES

The Conn/Davis Jazz Duo (Crown Station) The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s)

TUESDAY, MAY 31 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Pain of Salvation w/ Klone (Amos’ Southend) Bright Eyes (The Fillmore) Los Fest feat. Lofidels, Paint Fumes, Pleasure House, Wes & The Railroaders, Dylan Gilbert (Petra’s) Carpool w/ Stress Fractures, Dull Mourning (Snug Harbor)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ Cosmic Jam (Crown Station)

VISIT QCNERVE.COM FOR THE FULL SOUNDWAVE LISTING. Pg. 15 MAY 18 - MAY 31, 2022 - QCNERVE.COM

Shadow Play w/ Kraftward and CSDJ (Crown Station) Halsey (PNC Music Pavilion) Reflexions w/ DJ Velvetine (Tommy’s Pub)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

HOLD THE CREAM The reclamation of Black coffee in Charlotte

BY JASIATIC ANDERSON

Coffee was born in and is indigenous only to Africa. In fact, it is named for its region of origin, Kaffa, a province in southwest Ethiopia. The region, now a part of Oromia, is where the sacred plant Coffee Arabica, which we are most familiar with today, is rooted.

This means the Oromia people who discovered coffee were harvesting, “washing,” roasting, brewing and creating ceremonies for almost 1,000 years before the rest of the world became aware of the bean’s existence. An almost $500-billion industry, coffee could be considered our last socially acceptable drug.

And despite having come from Black people, that same population is underrepresented in today’s U.S. coffee industry, which is expected to bring in more than $80 billion this year with no expectation of a stoppage in growth. So what does representation in Charlotte look like? There are a handful of Black-owned coffee shops that are keeping Charlotteans caffeinated.

came up with the flavor on a whim, and it has stuck from there.

Evoke Coffee is located inside CLT Hub, a spot on West Morehead Street that is becoming exactly what the name suggests. Right now, Keenan’s coffee setup is across from the bar in the space, but CLT Hub owner Jeff Matchen envisions so much more.

Keenan says being Black in coffee, particularly craft coffee, is important for representation. For the father of three, it’s vital to be not only a coffee shop owner, but a continuous resource for the community.

“Coffee has always been a connector, you never know who’s gonna walk into a coffee shop.

It promotes diversity; even though ownership isn’t diverse,” Keenan said.

And he is working to change that. He told me about recently helping out a young man who had dreams of coffee ownership. Keenan purchased the student’s first coffee cart.

“His family wondered what I wanted in exchange,” he recalled. But that’s the thing, for this barista/owner, the exchange and joy is simply in giving back to the community.

When I ask Keenan if he thinks about coffee as Black, he said he does, and he learned much of what he knows about that history from CxffeeBlack.

“Link me,” I say.

Within five minutes, I receive a call from founder Maurice Henderson II, better known as Bartholomew Jones, who’s on the way with his wife and business partner, Renata Henderson, to a debut screening of their upcoming docuseries in Houston.

The couple owns CxffeeBlack, a company that, as described on its website, “is primarily an entrepreneurial venture with specific social

implications, to reclaim the Black history of coffee and reimagine its Black future.”

Among other things, CxffeeBlack offers up a coffee named Guji Man, named for the Guji zone in the Oromia region of Ethiopia where the couple has, with intention, sat down and cultivated holistic meaningful relationships with farmers and community leaders.

Mane listen! I’m sold. I pace back and forth across the Evoke Coffee shop with caffeinated excitement.

A Memphis native, Jones explains that his goal is to help “create an entire Black supply chain” complete with growers, harvesters, Q Graders and beyond.

Creating dignity in coffee farming and trustworthy relationships in a land that has been abhorrently colonized is supreme.

Jones tells me Black women were the original roasters of the world, a fact that gives me goosebumps (there’s nothing like seeing yourself in your legacy). In fact, his wife Renata, head roaster of Guji Mane, runs a program called Sit that mentors and trains other Black women in Memphis to roast coffee.

Pg. 16 MAY 18 - MAY 31, 2022 - QCNERVE.COM

An Evoke-ation

I hop off of a flight from New York and check my DM’s. Joe Keenan, owner of Evoke Coffee, has invited me to an event he’s hosting called Coffee After Dark.

I can’t turn down an invite to a sold-out event, so I’m in there. The event boasts prominent Charlotte artists, such as Dammit Wesley on the turntables and Joél Baang, who is alongside the DJ booth setting up paintings.

At Coffee After Dark, one can sip coffee (spiked or otherwise), dance and build on important community topics, which feels like the win I need today. This intersection of coffee, community and art is clearly where Keenan thrives.

When we sit down the next morning, he serves me the blueberry cinnamon latte that I’ve continuously seen on my social media timeline. It’s not just hype; the coffee is surprisingly delicious. He shares that, like many of his house-made syrups, he

JOE KEENAN, OWNER OF EVOKE COFFEE.

PHOTO COURTESY OF EVOKE

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE Look out for the documentary titled CxffeeBlack to Africa, which chronicles the couple’s journey to Ethiopia. You can follow all CxffeeBlack ventures on their Instagram account @cxffeeblack.

I thank Keenan, as now it’s time for me to leave Evoke and make a Detour.

Coffee trucks and trailers

for ‘fullness of life’ for the guest, and there are three servings, the last of which is called baraka, or blessing. The whole coffee ceremony, we burn Frankincense to give it a more intimate feeling.”

The traditional coffee ceremony usually lasts about one to two hours.

Since the COVID-19 pandemic, Tesafye says her family-run business has discontinued full coffee ceremonies at Abugida, however you can still get a personal table ceremony complete with Frankincense. You can also experience the full ceremony at Red Sea Ethiopian and Eritrean Cuisine.

In the spirit of ceremony, I asked each Charlotte coffee connoisseur what their personal ritual with Coffee is an art My new neighborhood coffee spot might just be coffee looks like.

Days Under Sun coffee, which is located in Area 15 Joe Keenan: “To start, it’s all about the process off North Davidson Street. Specializing in drip, cold brew and pour-overs, they also plan to add some and measurement. I drink a latte with honey and oat milk while I enjoy my second meditation of the baked goods soon.

Owner and North Carolina native Tecoby Hines morning.” During this time, he pulls from a deck of got his start working for the popular Raleigh area affirmation cards while he sips. company, Black and White Coffee Roasters.

Mike Hargett: “My personal coffee ritual is Hines is also a rapper, and a talented one at that.

His 2020 release Drip, recognized as Best Debut in actually NOT to drink anything before working. It Queen City Nerve’s Best in the Nest that year, was sounds crazy, but coffee is a diuretic and there is no inspired by his time behind the counter at Enderly bathroom on the truck,” he explains, laughing.

Coffee in west Charlotte. His latest release, Days Under Sun, goes hand-in-hand with his latest coffee venture.

“The aim is keep things simple, serve Black people and other persons of color by way of coffee,” Hines tells me. “We’re inviting people to share our love for coffee, but also our love for creativity in light of the beauty of Blackness, soulfulness in different backgrounds. We want to see more people that look like us in the space, with joy and belonging.”

The newly opened shop is starting out operating from 9 a.m. to noon on Fridays and Saturdays.

If you want to get back to the true roots of coffee, Yodite Tesafye has you covered at Abugida Ethiopian Cafe & Restaurant. I ask owner Tesafye what coffee meant to her growing up in an Ethiopian home.

“For us, coffee has traditionally been a ceremonial affair with a deep, spiritual meaning, conducted at home,” she says, then goes on to describe a traditional Ethiopian coffee ceremony as she grew up with and still takes part in almost daily.

“The beans are roasted in an open pan so that their rich aroma draws family, neighbors and other guests to gather. We ground the coffee with a mortar and pestle, the coffee is brewed in a thing called ‘jebena’ and poured into small cups,” she explains.

“Cups are filled to the top, representing a wish

Mia Kennedy Wallace: “My ritual with coffee is to always start the day with a cup of coffee outside alone.” Wallace says she always makes sure to wake a little earlier no matter what, to make sure this happens.

Tecoby Hines: “My coffee ritual lately has been pour-overs, mainly because that’s what I’m serving.” Hines added that he often enjoys his coffee while reading his Bible, spending time writing and focusing on making the most of his day.

Yodite Tesafye: “For me, personally, it’s sleeping in the morning and smelling my mom roasting coffee in an open fire and that will wake me up from my sleep, and us gathering together having coffee and having conversation with each other.”

For more information on the origin of coffee, signup for my upcoming class at Jasiatic.com or via Instagram @jasiatic. Follow Evoke coffee on Instagram at @evokecoffeeco, Abugida at @abugidacafe, and Days Under Sun at @daysundersuncoffee.

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Mike Hargett, owner of Detour coffee truck, gives me a warm smiling welcome to go with the delicious fragrant smells of roasted beans and multiple brews. Hargett began as a bookstore barista in the late 1990s, and never lost his love for books or coffee. After 10 years in corporate America, he returned to the industry.

“I started my own coffee bar because I wanted to return to the direct impact on customers and community — something that was lost in the corporate environment,” he tells me.

When Hargett launched Detour Coffee in 2019, hybrid coffee-shop trucks were still a fairly new concept. For that reason, securing their space in the market was challenging. With determination and steady work though, people are now lining up in the different spots where Detour shows up on any given day.

“Being a Black-owned coffee business is a proud moment for myself, my family and the local community,” says Hargett. “We absolutely love serving schools in which students, especially Black and brown kids, can see themselves in an industry that they may not have considered.”

Detour specializes in occasional themed menus, such as a ’90s menu that allows customers — or Detourists, as Hargett calls them — to sip on a “Destiny’s Chai” or a “Notorious BLU” lemonade.

Aspiring Detourists can follow their schedule and find where they’ll be on Instagram at @detourcoffeebar.

In a similar community-themed sentiment, Blue Bison owner Mia Kennedy Wallace tells me “coffee is for everyone.”

During the pandemic, Wallace and her fellow stay-at-home mom friends found themselves without their usual escape.

“All of the coffee shops were closed and I said, ‘I think I can do this,’” she recalls.

She bought a trailer, fixed it up and soon the mamas showed up. When things began to open back up, she began receiving requests and support from Black-owned businesses on the west side of Charlotte.

I ask about the name Blue Bison, and Wallace responds that it’s a nod to her alma mater, HBCU Howard University, where she received her degree in business.

She also confessed that her drive for entrepreneurship is fueled by her parents’ own shining example. (Full disclosure: I worked for one of their businesses while in college.)

Wallace is currently gearing up for the spring season. To find where Blue Bison will be next, follow her Instagram page @bluebisoncoffee, which lists the business’ menu and schedule.

Pg. 18 MAY 18 - MAY 31, 2022 - QCNERVE.COM

LIFESTYLE PUZZLES

LIFESTYLE PUZZLES SUDOKU

TRIVIA TEST

BY LINDA THISTLE

PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE. ©2022 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.

CROSSWORD

BY FIFI RODRIGUEZ

1. GEOGRAPHY: Which country in Africa is the largest in land area?

2. MUSIC: What was the original name of the punk rock band Green Day? 3. U.S. PRESIDENTS: Which president formally declared the executive mansion to be the White House?

4. ART: In which major city would you find the Tate Modern museum?

5. MYTHOLOGY: What is the name of the Greek goddess of revenge?

6. U.S. STATES: Which state is the only one that doesn’t have a mandatory seat belt law?

7. MOVIES: What is the Dude’s favorite drink in “The Big Lebowski”?

8. FOOD & DRINK: What is albumen?

9. MEDICAL: What is a more common name for a transient ischemic attack?

10. ANIMAL KINGDOM: What is an ibex?

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2019 2020 2021

COUNTRY MUSIC

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(980) 299-2588 3012 N. DAVIDSON STREET VOTED BEST TATTOO SHOP 2918 N. DAVIDSON STREET CHARLOTTE, NC 28205

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

THE SEEKER

MAKING A POINT My first experience with microneedling

BY KATIE GRANT

Pg. 20 MAY 18 - MAY 31, 2022 - QCNERVE.COM

I’m a winner, baby.

And I’m not being facetious when I say so; I actually won!

This year, I’ve been focusing on my positive mental attitude (PMA), and it’s beginning to pay off. If you’ve been following along, you might remember I attended Beauty Boost’s “fitness sampler” in April, where I met a number of local health and wellness vendors. While onsite, I took a chance, submitted my contact information into a raffle, and hoped for the best. Then I forgot about it.

If you’re like me, you are probably caught in an infinite loop of (mostly scammy) giveaway lifecycles (“Follow us and all 100 of our partners, like this post, tag your friends, subscribe to our newsletter and all 100 of our partners, extra points for sharing the giveaway in your stories…”).

It’s really just formulaic. No wonder these “ultimate giveaways” are so forgettable. Honestly — does anyone ever win?

I’m not trying to sound salty. From a branding perspective, I get it. Giveaway sweepstakes drive a metric shit ton of organic, user-generated content. And in doing so, the audience becomes a brand advocate, which means free advertising. According to Digital Marketing Institute, 49% of consumers depend on influencer recommendations, and 40% have purchased a product after seeing it on Twitter, YouTube or Instagram.

Studies show that when consumers feel assured by an influencer’s recommendation, they are more likely to make a purchase. It’s a symbiotic relationship; brands essentially piggyback on the accreditation of influencers.

A week after entering the giveaway, I received a phone call from Circadian Rejuvenation. I had apparently won a microneedling three-pack giveaway! My face, I’m sure, expressed equal declarations of confusion and excitement. Probably a contorted amalgamation of, “I won something?” combined with, “Holy fuck, I actually

won something!”

On the other end of the phone, the actual human congratulated me on winning the package. My immediate thought? Surely this is something companies “throwaway” instead of “giveaway.” It can’t be worth that much that they are giving it away.

I stand corrected. I hit the jackpot. That microneedling three-pack cost a whopping $1,500.

What is microneedling, you may be asking? According to Circadian Rejuvenation, the process “smooths wrinkles and improves skin texture by stimulating collagen naturally. This treatment also reduces the appearance of acne scars, erases fine lines, and minimizes pores.”

At this point in time, maintenance is the name of the game. Not trying to age myself, but as a woman pushing 40, wrinkles, texture, and fine lines are all areas of concern. While many external elements cause our skin to age, some we have control over.

For example, I wear a hat and SPF while outdoors, quit smoking a long time ago, avoid repetitive facial expressions thanks to Botox, and drink water when I’m not drinking wine or whiskey. Aren’t I doing great? This is where you nod as encouragement.

Cosmetic procedures like microneedling are also within our control. Once the staff member at Circadian Rejuvenation shared an overview of the process, I booked my first appointment.

The office is tucked away in the Elizabeth neighborhood. Walking through the front door, with the reception desk to my right, I was greeted warmly and

provided some initial paperwork. I bided my time in the modernly decorated reception area flanked by inviting gray wingback chairs.

Once collected by my aesthetician, she guided me toward her workspace and invited me to recline in her chair. She then explained what microneedling is, how it improves the skin, and what to expect during the recovery period. After a 10-minute numbing creme session, she got to work. The tool she used sounded similar to the buzz of a tattoo gun but hurt significantly less. It felt like a light agitation as she guided the tool upward, downward, and in small circles across the planes of my face.

Thanks to the numbing creme, it wasn’t painful at all. Additionally, the treatment took under an hour and recovery time was minimal.

The first two days after the treatment, my skin looked deeply sun-kissed, like I forgot to apply sunscreen before spending the day at the beach. Within 24 hours, the miscoloring subsided from an inflamed shade of red to soft rose. By day three, my face was flaky in some areas, but not to the point where I felt reptilian.

My conclusion: If you are interested in exploring ways to improve your skin’s overall look and texture, microneedling is an accessible option to consider.

And if you’re balling on a budget like me, keep submitting your information in hopes of winning some freebies. I am living proof that it works! Just use this as a friendly reminder to unsubscribe from all the annoying spam mail accompanying your efforts.

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BORN THIS WEEK: You have a romantic nature that allows you to find the best in people. You would excel at poetry and drama.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) A stubborn refusal LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Personal to go ahead on a project mystifies colleagues who relationships improve. Professional prospects expected more flexibility. But once you explain your also brighten. A job offer could come through by position, they’ll understand and even applaud you. month’s end. An old friend seeks to make contact.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) A relationship seems to be stuck in the same place. Now it’s up to you, dear Bovine, to decide how far you want it to go and how intense you want it to be. Choose well and choose soon.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Your senses detect that something is not quite right about a matter involving a workplace colleague.

Best advice: Follow your keen instincts and don’t get involved.

GEMINI

(May 21 to June 20) A relationship SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) progresses more slowly than you would prefer. Best A prospect offers rewards, but it also demands advice: Insist on a frank and open discussion. What that you assume a great deal of responsibility. is learned could change minds and, maybe, hearts. Knowing you, you’re up to the challenge, so go for it, and good luck.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) It’s all right to be

grateful to a workplace colleague who has done you CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) a good turn. But gratitude shouldn’t be a life-long A favor you did a long time ago is repaid, as a obligation. The time to break this cycle is now. trusted colleague steps in to help you with a suddenly expanded workload. A family member LEO (July 23 to August 22) It’s going to be especially has important news.

nice to be the King of the Zodiac at this time. A recent money squeeze eases. Plans start to work out, and AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) A new new friends enter Your Majesty’s domain. job offer could require moving across the country.

But before you let your doubts determine your VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Before decision, learn more about the potentials involved.

you make a commitment on any level (personal, professional, legal), get all the facts. There might be PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Your sense hidden problems that could cause trouble later on. of fair play doesn’t allow you to rush to judgment about a friend who might have betrayed you.

Good! Because all the facts are not yet in.

MAY 25 - 31

2022 KING FEATURES SYND., INC.

BORN THIS WEEK: You’re usually the life of the

party, which gets you on everyone’s invitation list.

You also have a flair for politics.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) You might have to turn your Aries charm up a few degrees if you hope LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Concentrate to persuade that persistent pessimist to see the your focus on what needs to be done, and avoid possibilities in your project. Whatever you do, don’t frittering away your energies on less-important give up. pursuits. There’ll be time later for fun and games.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) A “tip” about a co- SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Although

worker’s “betrayal” might well raise the Bovine’s the conflicts seem to be letting up, you still need to rage levels. But before charging into a confrontation, be wary of being drawn into workplace intrigues. let an unbiased colleague do some fact-checking. Plan a special weekend event for family and/or friends.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Although a relationship still seems to be moving too slowly to SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) suit your expectations, it’s best not to push it. Let it Your quick wit helps you work through an already develop at its own pace. You’ll soon get news about difficult situation without creating more problems. a workplace change.

Creative aspects begin to dominate by the week’s end.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) A continually changing personal situation makes you feel as if CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Be you’re riding an emotional roller coaster. But hold patient. You’ll soon receive news about a project that on tight; stability starts to set in early next week. means so much to you. Meanwhile, you might want to reconsider a suggestion you previously turned LEO (July 23 to August 22) Believe it or not, down. someone might dare to say “No!” to the Regal One’s suggestion. But instead of being miffed, use this AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) There are rebuff to recheck the proposition and, perhaps, still some aspects about that new job offer you need make some changes. to resolve. In the meantime, another possibility seems promising. Be sure to check that out as well.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) You might find it difficult to make a decision about a family PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Opening up your matter. But delay can only lead to more problems. emotional floodgates could leave you vulnerable to Seek out trusted counsel and then make that being hurt later on. Watch what you say, in order to important decision. avoid having your words come back to haunt you.

Pg. 21 MAY 18 - MAY 31, 2022 - QCNERVE.COM

PG.19 PUZZLE ANSWERS

6. New Hampshire 7. White Russian 8. Egg white 9. Mini-stroke 10. A wild goat

MAY 18 - 24

HOROSCOPE

Trivia Answers 1. Algeria 2. Sweet Children 3. Theodore Roosevelt 4. London, England 5. Nemesis

LIFESTYLE

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

SAVAGE LOVE

FREYED NERVES

am suggesting freysexuals shouldn’t make sexually-excusive commitments to romantic partners or demand sexuallyexclusive commitments from romantic partners.)

Whatever the deal is with your fiancé, SORDID, weddings are not famous for reviving sexually moribund relationships. So, if you want more than supportive, positive, and fun vibes from your future husband — if you want regular and decent sex on top of all that — don’t marry this guy. But if the idea of being in a companionate marriage with this man appeals to you, SORDID, that’s something you should explore with the help of a couples’ counselor.

Oh, and if sexting women he barely knows is his primary sexual interest and outlet, SORDID, your fiancé already opened your relationship — on his end. There’s no reason you should have to wait to open it on your end.

My partner and I recently bought a bar in a small town, far from the city we’d lived in, which has been both fun and challenging. Anyway, a couple started coming in and quickly became very talkative about their personal situation. She’s a straight-presenting women, he’s a bisexual man, they have an open relationship. At first I thought, okay, great. It’s a small community, and I’m glad they feel comfortable being themselves in our place. But their behavior has rapidly escalated, however, to the man making comments to staff members that are inappropriate, ranging from crude come-ons to telling one all

BY DAN SAVAGE about how ugly and weird his own dick is. I’m guessing that shaming himself like that is a kink for him.

But we don’t want to hear his confessions. I need to address it, but I wanted some advice as to how.

I am a 37-year-old heterosexual woman in a monogamous relationship with a het cis male. Let’s call Shutting down garden-variety horny cis guys is something I have decades of experience with, but I him “Rick.” We’ve been together for five years and engaged for two. Our sex went from passionate, fun, wonder if I should be more delicate here, given their situation. I don’t want anyone to think we are and frequent early in the relationship to nearly nonexistent now. I have gently initiated conversations biased, but this behavior is not acceptable, and I need to protect my staff.

BOUNDARIES AND RESPECTFUL TREATMENT ESCAPE NUMBSKULL DUMBASSES about how to spice it up — sexy dates, sex toys, new positions, even non-monogamy — but Rick never P.S. Public Service Announcement: Bartenders are not sex workers. It is lazy and exhausting for took me up on any of my suggestions. I encouraged him to get bloodwork done, thinking maybe it was a decline in testosterone or something. I loved him and was legitimately concerned. I also made the pact people to assume that just because someone’s job is serving and entertaining you, that they also are with myself that I could live with only having sex four to five times a year because Rick brought so much game for fucking you or your partner or both of you or you and your friends. Double shame on the ones who also hold a gratuity hostage while you politely rebuff them. It happens a lot and needs to stop. “good” to the table. Outside of sex, our relationship is supportive, positive, and fun.

Fast forward: I recently learned that Rick has a profile on an online dating app. We are not in an I’m guessing these people started coming into your bar after you bought it, BARTEND, because the previous open relationship, even though I’d offered that as a possible solution to our sex woes. After some mild questioning, his story unraveled. He admitted to exchanging sexy pics and videos with more than 20 owners 86ed them years ago. And I predict their bad behavior is going to escalate the longer you hesitate to 86 these women on the internet over the last few years. He was apparently going into our spare bedroom or motherfuckers yourself. bathroom to make and send these videos — sometimes when I was home, sometimes when I was I’m a 31-year-old straight woman with a quick question. I’ve been in an on-and-off-again relationship waiting in bed for him. After talking with a friend, she confided in me that Rick’s ex had discovered with a man since I was 18 years old. I’ve gotten more comfortable dating other men when we’re not dozens of sexting convos on Rick’s phone with strangers when they were together.

My questions are both general and specific to me. First, is it possible for someone to be incapable “on.” We were “off” for the last year and I had an absolute ball. However, we got back together recently. of physical intimacy when there is love involved? I’m no expert, but it strikes me as troubling that Rick The problem is my partner seems insecure suddenly and is constantly worried he’s not big enough. He can’t make love with me — going so far as to blame it on hormonal shifts — when it’s not biological at sometimes even half jokes about getting surgery to make his dick bigger. The other night out of the blue all; he just prefers to jerk off with strangers. Is this actually a thing? Only being physically attracted to an he said, “So, since you’re a lot more experienced now, bigger is better, right?” I don’t like this. Honestly, anonymous, impersonal, meaningless stranger? My next question is: Is there hope for a future with Rick his new insecurities are making me feel less attracted to him and I’m starting to feel like we’ve hit a dead when he is lying to me — a GGG partner who wanted to work through this — and also lying to himself? end in our relationship. Is this a sign that we should just break up?

COMPLETELY OVER COMPARISONS, KAPISCE? I think I know the answer, but am I better off alone?

Longing for strange from afar

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SICK OF RICK’S DICK IMAGE DOINGS

It’s either an annoying insecurity you won’t be able to put up with, COCK, or your on-and-off-again boyfriend is fumbling the disclosure of a kink. Sometimes when people want to tell their partner about a kink — a long-standing kink or a recently-surfaced one — they’ll frame it negatively. They’ll point to a “crazy” porn clip they stumbled over or share a “gross” story about something a friend did, COCK, in the hopes that their partner will say, “Hey, I don’t think that’s crazy or gross, I think that’s hot!” Since people tend to mirror the attitudes of important people in their lives, and since there’s no more important person than a romantic partner, disclosing kinks like this — framing them negatively so you can deny any interest when your partner invariably reacts negatively — is a terrible strategy.

Anyway, your boyfriend is either bringing up his anxiety about the bigger dicks you had during your last “off,” COCK, because he’s desperately insecure and needs constant reassurance that he’s not inadequate or because it turns him on to think about you being with men with bigger cocks and longs to be told that he is inadequate. To figure out what your boyfriend’s issue actually is here — intolerable insecurity, eroticized insecurity — ask him a direct question: “You ask about other men with bigger dicks a lot. Does it turn you on to think about that?”

If the answer is yes, COCK, you might be able to make that work; a little dirty talk during sex about bigger guys you’ve been with, maybe a hall pass to go get some bigger dick once in a while. If the answer is no, tell him one last time that you’ve been with some bigger guys, yes, but you like his dick just fine, and you don’t want to talk about it anymore. If he refuses to stop bringing it up, then it’s off again.

Yes, SORDID, some people are incapable of being physically intimate when love is involved.

There are straight men out there with what’s called Madonna-whore complexes; these men can’t make love with and/or fuck women they love and respect. These men view sex as dirty and degrading, and they don’t wanna do dirty and degrading things with (or to) women they have feelings for. Frankly, I don’t know what would be worse: being married to man that refused to fuck me (because he respected me too much) or being fucked by a man like that (because he didn’t respect me at all). On the flip side, there are straight women who seem to have husband-material complexes. There are guys they can see themselves married to and possibly having kids with — husband material, e.g., good, kind, reliable guys — but those aren’t the men they’re excited about fucking. Instead, it’s bad, unkind, unreliable guys that turn these women on.

Oh, and there’s a new type of long-term, committed, romantic partner out there who doesn’t wanna fuck people they love: freysexuals.

A freysexual may love their romantic partner and wanna marry that person and make a life with them, SORDID, but a freysexual doesn’t wanna and/or can’t fuck someone they have strong and/or any feelings for. Basically, love is erotic kryptonite to the freysexual. Being freysexual doesn’t excuse your fiancé’s dishonesty, SORDID, assuming he is freysexual. Simply put, if your fiancé is freysexual and knew that about himself — even if he didn’t know there was a word/bespoke sexual orientation for him — he should’ve disclosed that to you. And if he only just realized it, he Listen to Dan on the Savage Lovecast; follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage; find columns, podcasts, books, merch should’ve accepted your invitation to renegotiate the terms of your commitment, i.e., take you up on your offer to have and more at savage.love; send questions to questions@savagelove.net. an ethically non-monogamous relationship. (For the record: I’m not suggesting that freysexuality isn’t a legitimate sexual orientation — freysexuals already have their own pride flag, and we all know how high that bar is — but I

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