Queen City Nerve - August 10, 2022

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 18; AUGUST 10 - AUGUST 23, 2022; WWW.QCNERVE.COM

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TABLE OF CONTENTS NEWS & OPINION

4 Out From the Shadows by Ryan Pitkin Charlotte Black Pride fought ignorance and stigma to create a movement

ARTS & CULTURE

6 All Hail by Karie Simmons Five drag queens and kings taking the Charlotte scene by storm 8 Lifeline: Ten Cool Things To Do in Two Weeks

MUSIC

10 Dream On by Pat Moran Dreamboat’s rampaging riff-laden rock ‘n’ roll embraces love 12 Pride Guide 2020: Performers to check for at Charlotte Pride Week 14 Soundwave

FOOD & DRINK LIFESTYLE

18 Puzzles 20 The Seeker by Katie Grant 21 Horoscope 22 Savage Love Thanks to our contributors: Grant Baldwin, Katie Grant, Timothy DePeugh, Shane Travis, Jeff Carpenter, friedoxygen, and Dan Savage.

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16 Hot & Cold by Timothy DePeugh Yunta shows both sides in South End

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

OUT FROM THE SHADOWS Charlotte Black Pride fought ignorance and stigma to create a movement

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BY RYAN PITKIN

Charlotte Black Pride co-founder Jermaine Nakia Lee remembers when he knew he was a part of something special.

It was during the inaugural Charlotte Black Pride Week in July 2005, at a spoken-word event featuring nationally renowned trio The Punani Poets held in the original Carolinas Acting Studio location in a large garage-like warehouse behind the nowshuttered Lesbian and Gay Community Center in Plaza Midwood.

Shortly into the program, on a sweltering afternoon, the air conditioning went out.

“We had a sold-out audience, the space held 350 folks, it’s the middle of July, the air conditioning goes out, and not one person asked for their money back, and not one person left the building,” Lee recalled. “It was a testament of just how important the moment was to the community, where people didn’t want to miss a moment.”

Despite that powerful moment, there was still plenty of pushback — sometimes from the communities closest to them. Like the time when a busload of congregants from a local Black church showed up outside the inaugural expo at the AfroAmerican Cultural Center (now the Gantt Center) with plans to come inside and pray over attendees.

“Normally, protesters like the ones who show up to Charlotte Pride, they don’t show up for our events because they would get their asses kicked,” says Jermaine Nakia Lee, who founded Charlotte Black Pride with colleagues Damon Blackman, Monica Simpson, and Korey Handy.

“But I had gotten wind from a gay congregant that they were planning to bring a busload of people to infiltrate our [2015] expo. This is a private event.

So the bus pulls up. I go outside and I identified the pastor and I looked him in the eye and said, ‘If you want to be a martyr that’s fine, but unless you want your congregation to see you arrested today, you need to leave. You can stay in the parking lot, but you all are not allowed to come into our space.

This is a safe space and the people who are here are LGBTQ-affirming and if you’re not you need to stay

in the parking lot.’”

The congregants from the bus remained in the parking lot throughout the expo, and Lee was disappointed that some of the younger attendees engaged with them and even joined them in prayer circles, but even that experience was nothing compared to the vitriol he and fellow organizers experienced from white members of the LGBTQ+ community.

To this day he keeps the emails he received from leaders in the local LGBTQ+ community, some of whom still have a heavy influence to this day, calling him and his co-founders racists.

In fact, Lee and his colleagues originally wanted only to “piggyback” on the work that Charlotte Pride,

still a fledgling organization itself at the time, was doing. They had reached out to staff there to discuss hosting some Black-centered events, and while the initial feedback was positive, over two years they found themselves consistently ignored.

“We just got a clue that there clearly wasn’t really a sincere desire to diversify the programming,” Lee told Queen City Nerve.

So he and his co-founders, all of whom had amateur experience with event planning and promotion, took it upon themselves to launch Charlotte Black Pride, with some help from the national Center for Black Equity.

Fast forward to 2022, and Charlotte Black Pride is coming off its most successful Charlotte Black Pride Week to date, having raised nearly $100,000, more than triple the organization’s average annual budget.

And while Charlotte Black Pride’s relationship with Charlotte Pride is now healthy — the two are sister organizations and regularly partner on events, fundraising and sharing resources — Lee said he’s thankful that he and his partners went ignored in those early years.

“I think, like a lot of Black folk at the time, we thought we needed to be connected to a

A GROUP OF CHARLOTTE BLACK PRIDE WEEK 2022 ATTENDEES.

mainstream white-led-and-funded organization to be legitimate. I hate to admit it, but we thought that,” said Lee, who still serves as CBP’s development director. “But their ignoring of us led us to desperate measures and to think differently. Today, I wouldn’t even think to approach Charlotte Pride to piggyback on them. The way my mindset is now and how my values system is set, I know that particularly marginalized groups need their own institutions.

So I’m kind of glad they ignored us because we wouldn’t have been able to create this Black LGBTQ institution, and it was necessary.”

A foundation in the arts

Now that Charlotte Black Pride Week 2022 has gone down as the most successful one ever held by the organization, Lee and his fellow board members will continue their efforts through Pride365, an initiative to emphasize that Charlotte Black Pride remains active year-round, not just during Pride Week.

On Aug. 14, the organization will partner with Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte for a discounted Charlotte Black Pride matinee showing of If Pretty Hurts Ugly Must Be A Muhfucka, a theatrical melding of West African folklore with contemporary American culture.

PHOTO COURTESY OF JERMAINE NAKIA LEE

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

community now and understands,” he said. “For her, as someone who generally isn’t around trans folks, that has come from images and stories that she’s seen of those individuals in media.”

Still, he’d like to see more change. It bothers Lee that most depictions of gay Black men like himself in media rely on an overly flamboyant stereotype. He doesn’t see himself or his circle of friends depicted onscreen often.

He pointed to Lil’ Murda’s storyline in P-Valley as an example of something more relatable that he hopes to see more of.

“Every gay man isn’t like over the top and effeminate, and every lesbian isn’t masculine,” he said. “There’s all of that, there’s all of those extremes and everything in the middle in our community and we don’t see enough of, like, the mainstream, because I don’t think that necessarily feeds the appetite of straight folk.

“That’s why you don’t see that, because what feeds their appetite is the over-the-top, loud, flamboyant gay man. People who identify that way and present that way are an important part of our community, but they’re not the sole part of our community.”

As a longtime theatre director himself an current education director with Brand New Sheriff Productions, Lee has long enjoyed having the chance to use arts to educate people about his community.

“I think that music and the performing arts is a universal language. One of the ways to kill stigma and misunderstanding is through art; it’s a language that everyone understands and people are interested in,” he said. “It has certainly been a part of our strategy in promoting our culture and killing stigma in our culture.”

The popularity of recent shows and films like Moonlight, Pose, and P-Valley have made some progress in humanizing Black LGBTQ+ culture for those who may not be familiar.

In fact, that’s what has occurred in his own family. When Lee came out to his mother, she told him she accepted him but made comments that he found ignorant, asking that he not come to her home wearing a dress and that he “be the man” in any relationship he entered into.

She has since gained a deeper understanding of Black LGBTQ issues, and Lee credits media such as The next level HBO’s Legendary, one of her favorite shows.

As for Charlotte Black Pride, Lee is excited for “For her now to call me when a trans person is killed, to call me in tears and say, ‘How can they the future. Over the last year, the organization has do this to her? Why are they attacking these people brought on three new board members, with a focus just trying to live their lives?’ She’s immersed in the on folks in the younger generations who can take

PHOTO COURTESY OF JERMAINE NAKIA LEE

to develop our board with talent that we’ve never had, and that’s all been done under the leadership of somebody who was battling life-threatening cancer and doing it from their bedside,” said Lee of Fulton’s harrowing leadership.

In the end, the goal is to simply spread love and awareness for the culture while keeping a mind to how Charlotte Black Pride can be as inclusive as possible. That could mean leaving the door open for more organizations like them.

If there’s one thing Lee understands, it’s that nobody deserves to go ignored the way he and his partners once did.

“What many of the mainstream leaders [in 2015] refused to recognize is that Black gay culture exists; it’s a thing,” he said. “I would be excited for when our city grows to the point when we have a Middle Eastern Pride or Asian Pride. Because I know that there’s a way that they do Pride that’s different than how white folk do Pride, or how Black folk do Pride, based on their culture. That is now a lot more appreciated.”

Lee and Charlotte Black Pride played a big role in creating and cultivating that appreciation.

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MS. CHARLOTTE BLACK PRIDE PARTICIPANTS.

the organization in new directions.

The efforts have already paid off, as Lee noticed during the 2022 Charlotte Black Pride Week Expo. One of the newer, younger board members, entertainment director Quan Rutledge, has connections in the local ballroom scene, a subculture based on music, pageantry and dance, as depicted in the show Pose.

Rutledge planned a mini-ball to take place during the final two hours of the expo, and it was a hit.

“Our expo always kind of draws a mixed bag of folk, but that last two hours, the room was just filled with teens, twenty-somethings, and thirtysomethings that I know otherwise would never have been there but came for the mini-ball,” Lee recalled.

He also credits board chair Shann Fulton with much the organization’s recent success. Fulton has battled cancer over the last two years and did much of the organizing for Charlotte Black Pride Week 2021 from their bedside.

During 2022 Pride Week, which took place in late July, the cancer returned, though less aggressive chemo treatments meant Fulton could attend a few events.

“For the last two years, we’ve been able to raise more money than we’ve ever had, we’ve been able

ARTS FEATURE

PHOTO CREDITS: Oso Chanel: Velvet Rose Photo Company All others: Graham Morrison

ALL HAIL

Five drag queens and kings taking the Charlotte scene by storm

BY KARIE SIMMONS

Gone are the days when gay bars and nightclubs were the only places to catch a drag show in Charlotte. Today, drag is everywhere, including traditionally straight spaces like drag brunch at restaurants, music bingo at breweries, and story hour at local libraries.

Most drag artists credit that growth to drag becoming more mainstream thanks to shows like RuPaul’s Drag Race, but in reality, it’s because of local queens and kings who put in the work to create safe spaces where drag can flourish.

As the city gears up for Charlotte Pride, we reached out to some of these performers to learn their stories and what drag means to them.

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Oso Chanel

AKA: Jaime Crespo, 32 Instagram: @osochanelofficial Upcoming shows: Aug. 16, Hattie’s Tap & Tavern; Aug. 19, Protagonist Beer; Aug. 20, Charlotte Pride Main Stage; Aug. 21, Hattie’s Tap & Tavern Jaime Crespo had been involved in the drag scene for years but always backstage, so to speak, hosting shows, helping drag friends dress and serving as a Charlotte Pride board member and president of Charlotte Latinx Pride.

At the start of 2021, he decided to face his fears and step into the spotlight himself. The only problem was there wasn’t anyone for him to look up to.

“There wasn’t a Latinx king that was bigger bodied

that could go out and do something like Jason Derulo or songs you typically see thinner, leaner individuals performing to, so I said, ‘Screw it. I’m going to be that person that I wanted to look up to,’” Crespo said.

Crespo debuted plus-size Salvadorian drag king Oso Chanel in May 2021.

Opposite of a drag queen, a drag king is usually someone who identifies as female out of drag but performs as male in drag. However, Crespo, who identifies as male and performs as male, is proof there are no rules.

Some might consider Oso a male lead, a male who performs male drag, but Crespo said the term doesn’t quite fit.

“My makeup, the femininity I brought to it, wasn’t something I could consider myself being a male lead because it went totally against what they brought,” Crespo said. “If I had to further classify myself, I would be a femme king.”

Backed by DKO Entertainment, Oso Chanel takes gender-bending further than the typical male lead or drag king by performing songs by both male and female artists such as Ginuwine, Jason Derulo, Britney Spears, Beyoncé and Shakira.

Crespo said he wants Oso to be a voice not only for the king community, which is often overshadowed by queens, but also performers who fall into the gray area in between.

“I’m more of an Elton John in the drag king community, but there are Adam Lamberts, there are Freddie Mercurys.

The same way there’s variety for queens, there’s variety for kings,” Crespo said. “I want people to question what they’re seeing when I’m performing. I want them to realize I’m sending a message whether it’s for trans rights or just queer rights in general.”

Growing up in a traditional Latinx household, Crespo couldn’t express himself the way he wanted to and came out later in life. He needed someone to look up to. Oso showed him that person was inside him all along.

RC Cola

AKA: RC Goslee, 30 Instagram: @rc_cola92 Upcoming shows: Aug. 12, CGN’s Gaymer Gathering at Carolina Esports Hub; Aug. 20, Brunch and Rave at Resident Culture South End; Aug. 20, Charlotte Pride Main Stage Incorporating elements of both glamour and cosplay, RC Cola keeps crowds wondering what she’ll come dressed as next — Spiderwoman, Squirtle, Buzz Lightyear or Sully from Monsters Inc.?

Underneath the eyeshadow and the sequins is RC Goslee, a certified public accountant with a love of Pokémon and a knack for makeup, thanks to his cosmetologist mom.

Goslee debuted RC Cola in April 2021 at an event for Charlotte Gaymers Network (CGN), a local LGBTQ gamer organization where he serves as treasurer.

“I was bit by the performing bug and I fell in love with it,” said Goslee, who now produces and hosts CGN’s regular drag shows and brunches. “It’s like an adrenaline rush. As soon as they call your name and that music starts, it’s like boom. Let’s do this.”

He describes RC Cola as a glamour nerd, dancing queen and pop princess who combines top 40 songs with an element of cosplay — like when she performs “Levitating” by Dua Lipa dressed as Japanese anime character Sailor Moon.

Despite being fairly new to the Charlotte drag scene, RC Cola is already making a name for herself with the support of mentor and fellow queen Lolita Chanel. Both are backed by Onya Nerves’ DKO Entertainment, which hosts drag events across the city.

When Goslee first moved to Charlotte six years ago, he said drag was mostly contained to gay bars and nightclubs, but has since worked its way into the mainstream. And

there’s more diversity now with drag kings and alternative performers emerging onto the scene, he said.

“Drag can be pretty much anything and it’s at the discretion of the performer,” Goslee said. “When I go to a drag show I just ask myself, ‘What am I gonna see?’”

Growing up in a conservative suburb outside of Atlanta, drag was never something Goslee thought he’d be doing. He wasn’t in dance or theatre as a kid and he didn’t come out as gay until college.

Being RC Cola tapped into a passion for performance Goslee didn’t realize he had — or maybe it was there all along, repressed due to his fear of being too flamboyant and accidentally outed at a young age.

“Now it’s very liberating and basically I can do whatever I want,” Goslee said.

The only question is, what will he have RC Cola do next?

Vanna Vanity

AKA: Nic Booher, 34 Instagram: @djvannavanity Upcoming shows: Aug. 19, Ink N Ivy; Aug. 20, Brunch At Angeline’s; Aug. 20, Day party at Merchant and Trade; Aug. 20, Ink N Ivy; Aug. 20, DJing in the Pride parade A difficult coming out experience as a kid left Nic Booher yearning for a family-like support system as an adult, so he created his own.

Enter The Vanity House, a collective that specializes in drag queen events and is home to queens Erica Chanel, Ariana Venti and Riley Malicious.

Booher started Vanity House with his husband in 2018 as a way to combine his background in hair, makeup, event planning and music.

“It was so important that I started to find my own family within my drag house and gave that opportunity to other people as well,” Booher said. “I wanted anybody to feel like they could come to our shows and feel like they’re Vanity family because that’s something I felt like I missed.”

It would be almost two years from then that Booher finally debuted Vanna Vanity, a DJing drag diva and sassy Southern gal who charms everyone she meets. Booher said it was initially nerve-racking to come out as a queen, but the response thus far has been overwhelming.

“Vanna is very much my superhero that gives me strength to do a lot of things that Nic can’t do. She can take it that extra step,” Booher said. “People that I would be nervous to talk to, Vanna can just walk up and talk to.”

Vanna can be seen spinning live mixes of house, EDM pop, disco, ‘80s, ‘90s and early 2000s music at Vanity House events and venues across the city. This fall, she’ll DJ a festival in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

Being Vanna is the platform Booher said he always wanted as a kid. Growing up in rural Virginia, he used to perform on his front porch and pretend he was a popstar.

Misster

AKA: Lester Arnold, Jr., 28 Instagram: @heymisster “Miss Vanna has made that become a reality,” he said. Upcoming shows: Aug. 12, Creepchella at Snug “And to know that I’m going to be playing festivals this fall for Harbor; Aug. 18, Charlotte Beer Garden; Aug. 20, thousands of people, it’s made my little gay heart explode.” Creepshow Charlotte Pride After Party at Skylark Booher thinks his obsession with the 1993 film Mrs. Social Club; Aug. 21, Billy Sunday at Optimist Hall Doubtfire as a child pushed him toward theatre and the idea of being someone else. Growing up to do drag, he said it all makes sense.

“It’s very much my theatre kid getting to finally break out and be a theatre kid and do show choir all at one time,” he said.

Though Booher’s parents eventually accepted him, they’ve yet to see him perform as Vanna. Luckily, he said his extended family and in-laws are supportive of his drag career and he feels at home at The Vanity House.

Through drag, Booher found the family and acceptance he yearned for, and Vanna found her groove.

For inspiring alternative drag queen Misster, Lester Arnold says we can thank sorceress Rita Repulsa, one of the main antagonists of the Power Rangers franchise.

She was Arnold’s first cosplay character and sparked his passion for portraying villainesses.

“I love a strong, evil woman who knows what she wants,” he said.

Cosplaying eventually led to performing and, in late 2017, Arnold debuted Misster, his very own supervillain.

He describes Misster as a sultry pop culture junkie who is not afraid to play with gender and expression and pushes the boundaries of what drag artistry can look like.

Erica Chanel Misster has since become a leader in Charlotte’s growing AKA: Emory Sloan, 28 alt drag scene, which is distinguished from traditional drag by its emphasis on fantasy, gothic and grunge-inspired Instagram: @theericachanel Upcoming shows: Aug. 14, Brunch at Queen looks. Arnold said he initially tried to be a traditional queen,

but received pushback because he wanted to keep his beard.

The alt drag community allowed Arnold more room for personal expression and freedom to portray androgynous characters.

“It goes back to the more punk, underground idea of what drag used to be back in the day,” he said. “It was counter culture whereas nowadays, with capitalism and RuPaul’s Drag Race, drag has become a little sanitized. It lost the edge it used to have, which I think you still get with the alt community.”

Rather than play by the rules, Arnold created his own scene. In 2018, he and fellow queen Vegas Van Dank founded alt-based drag show Carolina Creepshow that’s less top 40 hits, flips, tricks and splits, and more storytelling, creativity and artistry.

Creepshow books performers traditional drag shows often won’t, such as drag kings, trans men, and queens who identify as women.

“Creepshow just started as a celebration of outcasts and the weirdos that don’t fit in because, even in the gay community, you still feel like an outcast if you don’t fit this certain idea of how you’re supposed to look or act or enjoy art,” Arnold said.

In creating Misster, Arnold created the ultimate strong, evil woman who knows what she wants: to blaze her own path and inspire others to do the same.

Park Social; Aug. 19, Ink N Ivy; Aug. 20, Brunch At different character because, me in drag and out of drag, Houston,” he said.

Angeline’s; Aug. 20, Day party at Merchant and I’m like two completely different people.

As a Black queen in the South, Sloan said there Trade; Aug. 20, Ink N Ivy; Aug. 20, Charlotte Pride “Once the wig and the lashes are on I’m like Sasha weren’t as many opportunities when he began Main Stage Fierce,” he continued, referring to Beyoncé’s sensual, performing as Chanel. Though white queens continue aggressive alter ego. “I can do whatever I want to do. It gives me a lot more confidence to be more outgoing, be outspoken, which I would never do in my day-to-day life.”

Erica Chanel is part of The Vanity House, a Charlottebased collective headed by Vanna Vanity and home to fellow drag queens Ariana Venti and Riley Malicious.

Sloan describes Chanel’s performance style as high energy and old-school drag mixed with new-school drag — with a lot of Beyoncé.

“You’re gonna get the splits, and the dips and the twirls from me but also I have a more sultry side where I can do the power ballads — Celine Dion, Whitney

to dominate the drag scene, Sloan said diversity and inclusion are improving as more Black queens step into the spotlight and demand their art to be seen.

For Sloan, performing as Erica Chanel is about more than just dressing up like a woman. He said drag brings joy and a sense of leaving your problems outside. It creates a judgment-free space where you can be whomever you want and everyone is loving and accepting.

“You could be in the worst mood ever and come to a drag brunch and just know that we’re going to make you laugh, we may make you cry, but when you leave that brunch your spirits will be lifted,” Sloan said.

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When Emory Sloan came out to his parents, their only request was that he not dress up like a woman. At the time he had never planned to, but eventually his love of musical theatre and dancing pulled him toward drag.

In 2012, he debuted Erica Chanel, a lady with a love for luxury labels and a passion for the people, and he hasn’t looked back since. Thankfully, his parents are now his biggest supporters.

“I remember going out there and I was like, ‘This is what I’m meant to do,’” Sloan said. “I can’t really explain it because it was such an unreal feeling being this totally

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Wiz Khalifa is now, and forever shall be, cool, mostly because he doesn’t try hard to be cool. A modest military brat who burst on the rap scene with Kush and Orange Juice (2010), Khalifa scored with an organic style that didn’t rely on narrative or punchlines to hit home. Instead, he drew fans with a flexibility that enabled him to master anything from stoner rap to trap, and an undeniable charisma. He’s prevailed with pop hooks, slick production and his favorite subject: weed.

More: $26 and up; Aug. 11, 6:30 p.m.; PNC Music Pavilion, 707 Pavilion Blvd.; livenation.com

With The Witch, playwright Jen Silverman conjures up a cauldron of dark comedy by transforming the Jacobean play Witch Of Edmonton into a tale that resonates in the post-MeToo era. The story begins when Scratch knocks on Elizabeth Sawyer’s door with a pocketful of promises in exchange for souls.

(The real Sawyer was executed for witchcraft in the 17th century, spurring the creation of the original 1621 drama.) Bloody mayhem ensues — in manner all too familiar to a modern audience. Silverman suggests that the whole misogynist structure might deserves to be torn down.

More: $20-$30; Aug. 11-14; Booth Playhouse, 130 N. Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org

WIZ KHALIFA, LOGIC, DJ DRAMA

‘THE WITCH’

WIZ KHALIFA Photo by Jeff Carpenter

SLEIGH BELLS Courtesy of friedoxygen

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HAYLO STUDIOS 7TH ANNUAL FLAME CLASSIC BLACK CINEMA SERIES: CROSSROADS CINEMA: ‘DO THE SLEIGH BELLS Since their 2010 debut Treats, Sleigh Bells have PARTY ‘ABBY’ RIGHT THING’

Haylo Studios subtitles this celebration “The Art of Alchemy, 7 Steps to Transformation.” Since the ancient proto-science of alchemy is concerned with the integration of personality and attaining transcendence, the subhead makes sense. This is far more than an exhibition of fire performers, though that’s included on the bill, too. Haylo owner Hayley Moran performs with her band Flame Tides, celebrating the official release of the group’s second album Bonfire Tsunami. The LP features nimble hard-rock tunes with growling guitars and mystical lyrics. We are all made of stars!

More: Donations encouraged; Aug. 13, 7 p.m.; Haylo Healing Arts Lounge, 1111 Central Ave.; haylostudiolounge.com

In the span of six years, exploitation filmmaker William Girdler made a string of entertaining and derivative films. Three on a Meathook (1972) is a crude Texas Chainsaw Massacre-style slasher, and Grizzly (1976) is a landlocked Jaws clone with a rampaging bear terrorizing a national park. Abby (1974), an African American retelling of The Exorcist, is a Blaxploitation classic, starring veterans of the genre William Marshall (Blacula) and Carol Speed (The Big Bird Cage). Warner Brothers, which released The Exorcist, successfully sued to have Abby pulled from circulation.

More: $7-$9; Aug. 14, 2 p.m.; Harvey B. Gantt Center, 551 S. Tryon St.; ganttcenter.org

It’s a blistering day in the Bedford-Stuyevesant neighborhood of Brooklyn and things are poised to heat up even more due to pent-up racial tension.

Producer/writer/director Spike Lee’s masterpiece does the impossible, critic Roger Ebert noted upon the film’s 1989 release: It makes us empathize with almost every character onscreen. Do The Right Thing ends with two quotes, one by Malcolm X and another by Martin Luther King Jr. One decries violence; the other casts it as self-defense. Both are proven right in a film that is eerily prescient and absolutely relevant right now.

More: Free; Aug. 18, 8 p.m.; Camp North End, Ford Building, 1774 Statesville Ave.; camp.nc

managed to be both critical darlings and downright popular. On catchy genre-jumping gems like “Comeback Kid,” Alexis Krauss’ girlish yet confident vocals float above Derek Miller’s cacophony of crunchy beats and grinding guitars. It’s as if mall-pop princess Katy Perry had stumbled into a distorted and loud session shared by Ministry and One Direction. After splicing and recombining bite-sized chunks of genres ranging from punk to hip-hop over three successive albums, Sleigh Bells returned to their post-modernist cut-up pop roots with Texis in 2021.

More: $20.50; Aug. 19, 8:30 p.m.; The Underground, 820 Hamilton St.; livenation.com

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Most dramas prefaced by the descriptor, “based on a true story” go astray, but Three Bone Theatre’s latest production is a fastball right down the middle of the plate. Based on Martha Ackmann’s book Curveball: The Remarkable Story of Toni Stone, award-winning playwright Lydia R. Diamond’s drama tells the story of the first woman to play baseball in the Negro Leagues, also making her the first woman to play professionally in a men’s league in the 1950s. Stone’s stint with the Indianapolis Clowns gets a cleareyed depiction in the play, complete with grueling conditions and looming racism.

More: $10-$30; Aug. 19-Sept. 4; Arts Factory, 1545 W. Trade St.; threebonetheatre.com

As a Chicago native, I believe Second City is what makes my hometown great. The troupe launched long before the brilliant sketch comedy show SCTV, featuring SC members like Martin Short and John Candy. It even predates the dawn of Saturday Night Live that employed even more SC alumni like Gilda Radner and John Belushi. In fact, SC was launched as a tiny cabaret theater in 1959. That legacy of comedy means this sketch show featuring a new wave of SC performers will likely be damn funny More: $34.50 and up; Aug. 19, 8 p.m.; Booth Playhouse, 130 N. Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org

‘TONI STONE’

THE SECOND CITY OUT OF THE HOUSE PARTY

TONI STONE Courtesy of Free Library of Philadelphia

THE SECOND CITY Creative Commons photo

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SAT8/20 SECOND CITY WORKSHOP

MON8/22 FOR

ANXIETY LIVING DEAD GIRL, HELLFIRE 76, FLAME TIDES

‘DO THE RIGHT THING’ Film still

8/18

We’ve already noted Flame Tides heavy-asplutonium grooves enfolding mystic and hopeful lyrics. Here the Charlotte duo supports Hellfire 76, a duo devoted to rampaging stoner/doom/ psych-metal which swings to dense blues licks that suggest a triceratops mating with a Sherman tank.

Female-fronted Canadian goth-metal band Living Dead Girl shares its name with a melancholy zombie romance movie by French fantastique director Jean Rollin. Like Rollin, Living Dead Girl embrace a dark, humorously self-aware sexuality. The dead may be horny, but they do it with melody and style.

More: $10; Aug. 22, 8 p.m.; Milestone, 3400 Tuckaseegee Rd.; themilestone.club

LIVING DEAD GIRL Promotional photo

8/22

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Part of the Queen City Comedy Experience that runs through Aug. 28, this workshop is designed to teach people with social anxiety and/or fear of public speaking how to use improvisational skills to manage their symptoms, thereby reducing avoidance behaviors in social and family settings.

Participants will learn and explore these things in a safe and supportive environment with the help of a Second City instructor and licensed clinician.

Think of it as harnessing the science of comedy to overcome your anxiety. The workshop is limited to 16 spots.

More: $15 and up; Aug. 20, 10 a.m.; Discovery Place Science, 301 N. Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org

MUSIC FEATURE

DREAM ON

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Dreamboat’s rampaging riff-laden rock ‘n’ roll embraces love

“[I] turn that pain into art; turn it into a song that people could dance to and scream to and have a good time; take something ugly and make something beautiful out of it.”

California dreaming, Sewercide and NYC

Nieboer grew up in the Los Angeles area, where her family was steeped in popular music. Her

BY PAT MORAN grandfather, Robert Gil, played jazz piano on The Afro Cuban Beat’s 1959 album Hot Skins and the Art Dreamboat’s debut single “Cover to Cover” out of a hapless reader’s hands.

Pepper, Shelly Manne collaborative Pepper Manne is a bracing endorphin rush. The sharp, choppy The video is more than a just visualized rant; it’s LP from 1963. Nieboer remembers taking naps and melodic tune, released in June, kicks off with punk-pop art with a character arc. Nieboer’s victims under her grandfather’s piano, drooping off while guitarist Nic Pugh’s chiming clangorous intro before retaliate, ganging up on her and beating her bloody listening to him play. As a child, she was captivated diving into a cloud layer of grimy distortion. Over before she plunges into a fountain. She emerges Tony Pugliese’s ferocious drumming and Caiti seemingly reborn onstage and subsequently Mason’s pulsing bass, Sydney Nieboer’s taunting, entertains an energized crowd at Petra’s as “Cover to snarling vocals kick in.

Cover” gallops to an abrupt close.

“I read it cover to cover/And I feel the same way/ Nieboer says she’s a private person, who prefers Say hello to your brother/I hear that he has changed...” to leave the meaning of the lyrics she pens open to The song’s a swaggering, take-no-prisoners interpretation. Nevertheless, she reveals that the beast, where Pugh’s razor sharp guitar darts in feelings of anger and betrayal portrayed in the song and out of the vocals while tangling with the crack and video — and the subsequent journey of working rhythm section. At the same time, Nieboer’s lyrics through those emotions — are autobiographical. and delivery suggest a bruised vulnerability lurking “I was sexually abused by a family member, and under the bravado. That impression is borne out that rage festered in me for a long time,” Nieboer seconds later when the tune dips into a sinister says. “I feel like I let it out on people that didn’t sounding bridge. deserve it, even strangers.”

“You put your hands on me/You trapped it just to Nieboer declines to go into any other details feel/Small bones under your feet/Pleasure from hide about the traumatic experience, and she has never and seek...” sought professional therapy. Instead, music making “[Pugh and I] decided we should do a Riot Grrrl- has become her way of coping. based band, energy-wise, but with sensitive lyrics “Instead of letting it eat me alive, I [thought that could connect with people,” says Nieboer, who I’d] channel it into something positive, maybe reach is also a fan of pretty-sounding layered shoegaze people,” she says. The goal, Nieboer says, is to help like My Bloody Valentine. “I was like, ‘We can mesh people to stop seeing themselves as a victims, and the two together somehow, where we can make it as survivors and warriors instead. dreamy and pretty, but also raw.”

“Bad things are going to happen to you,” she Judging by the single, the musical collaborators offers. “It doesn’t define you.” have succeeded in their goal. “Cover to Cover” The hardest thing about Nieboer’s ordeal, she stirs up a welter of emotions, but amid the song’s says, is that the person that abused her was someone anger, hope, defiance and confusion, the prevailing she loved. Perhaps the empathy found in her lyrics is feeling is an open-hearted empathy as deep as the a reflection of how she processed this fact.

Marianas Trench. (Dreamboat will perform the song “If it’s someone you loved, you’re upset but you along with a raft of other tunes at an Aug. 26 show still love them. You still have compassion for them at Snug Harbor celebrating the release of the band’s in your heart.” self-titled debut EP.) To that end, the “Cover to Cover” video deals “Cover to Cover” is accompanied by an equally with the anger spurred by abuse and subsequent electrifying video, directed by Josh Rob Thomas. trauma. If you take your anger out on others, those Here Nieboer barrels through Plaza Midwood, people may very well turn against you, Nieboer says. bristling with anger. She tips over a patron’s drink at “That’s why the mob comes after me. Then I Two Scoops Creamery, kicks a dude vomiting on the understand. It’s an awakening,” she says. In the DREAMBOAT sidewalk and even rips a copy of Queen City Nerve video she comes out stronger and more resilient.

by songs from ’60s girl groups like The Shangri-Las, happy-sounding tunes about dark subjects like biker gangs. It’s a sonic equivalent of the chiaroscuro that shows up in her current music.

Nieboer also started writing songs and lyrics.

She formed a group with her siblings, and they performed music at a local coffee shop and other small venues.

When she was 13, Nieboer’s family could no longer afford L.A., so she and her family moved to Cornelius. Nieboer says she has been home-schooled most of her life, and had few friends because of it.

Instead, she found nourishment in music. The first album she rented from the library was by ’90s Riot Grrrl band Babes in Toyland.

“It shook my whole world,” Nieboer remembers.

PHOTO BY SHANE TRAVIS

MUSIC FEATURE

remembers. At first, the pair wrote full-tilt Riot Grrrl songs with thermonuclear riffs and Nieboer screaming.

“Then I said, ‘I have a bunch of songs that I can show you,’” Nieboer remembers. “[Pugh] saw they were sentimental, emotional and [that they] told my story.”

Right then, the two friends realized that their music was going to be different. The pair began writing in earnest, Nieboer drawing from the lyrics and tunes she had composed in New York, and Pugh fleshing them out or bringing song skeletons in himself.

“We work on vocal patterns together,” Pugh says of the pair’s songwriting process. “Once we’re happy with [a song] we bring it to the band and they do their thing with it.”

First, however, the band had to be assembled.

After Nieboer and Pugh had written a few tunes together, Pugh approached Pullover bassist Caiti Mason to join.

“Caiti was a friend,” Nieboer says. “We sent her two or three songs that we had demoed, and she was like, ‘I love it. I want to be part of it.’ She started coming to our practices and we just clicked.”

“As soon as [Mason] started working with us, we knew we had something cool,” Pugh says.

Drummer Tony Pugliese came in and recorded the EP, along with first single “Cover to Cover” with the band. He ultimately stepped away from Dreamboat, so the band recruited Coughing Dove drummer Nicholas Holman.

“He’s crazy talented,” Pugh says.

With their lineup set, Dreamboat released a second single, “Best I Ever,” off the upcoming EP in July. Unlike the debut single, the song about a fracturing relationship is not personal, Nieboer says.

Instead, it’s a kind of short story — fiction instead of autobiography.

Pugh hopes Dreamboat can give people music they can relate to. That’s important, he says, because he believes music ultimately belongs to the listeners.

“Once a song is out, it’s not yours anymore,” Pugh says. “Whoever hears it can take it for whatever value they want.”

“What we set out to do, Nic and me, [was to] make a Riot Grrrl band, but with depth, with [the] actual substance of real issues, like family, friendships and lost love — everyday things that happen in life that everyone can relate to,” Nieboer says. “Life is messy, but that’s what makes it beautiful and worth living. Let’s just have a good time and love each other.”

PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM

Dream weavers

In the midst of the COVID pandemic in 2020, Nieboer was cutting hair to make some extra money.

“Sydney and I met through our friend Elijah (von Cramon) during the pandemic,” Nic Pugh says.

“We were all in lockdown and he asked Syd if she’d be comfortable with us coming to her house to get haircuts.”

They immediately hit it off.

Pugh, who grew up in Mooresville, began playing guitar at age 14. Inspired by his mother’s music collection of Thin Lizzy, Queen, Snoop Dogg and Notorious BIG, he was drawn to Charlotte by rock shows at the now-demolished Tremont Music Hall.

“I went almost every weekend and it was like being a little kid at Christmas every time,” Pugh says.

He subsequently moved south to the Queen City at age 18. By the time Pugh met Nieboer, he had released an album as Nic Pugh and the Bad News in 2019 and had started playing bass in Paint Fumes. “[Nieboer] mentioned that she was interested in playing in a band again and I was like ‘You should come over and we’ll write some songs then!’” Pugh

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“They were badass and … had so much energy.”

Nieboer’s taste expanded to similar bands like Bikini Kill and classic female and female-fronted artists like The Velvet Underground and Patti Smith.

After graduating from home-schooled high school in her backyard with only her parents in attendance, Nieboer began a relationship with future Paint Fumes guitarist Elijah von Cramon. In 2008, the couple moved into a house on Woodvale Place in Charlotte. They got engaged and started performing in a punk band called Syd and the Lipshits. The band’s music was free-form punk rock. “[Elijah] would play something and I would start screaming something on the spot about being on my period and how much it hurt me, or whatever,” Nieboer remembers.

Within a year, von Cramon had formed rock band Paint Fumes and the house on Woodvale Place had become an infamous and legendary party house called Sewercide Mansion. Paint Fumes played shows and booked other Charlotte bands for gigs in the house’s dank, graffiti festooned basement, which became packed with twenty-somethings.

“It was crazy,” Nieboer remembers. “There would be hundreds of kids that would show up out of the woodwork.”

Living in a party house soon took its toll on Nieboer.

“There were beer cans and piss everywhere. It was chaos, and I couldn’t live like that.”

She moved out and broke up with von Cramon, but they remain good friends to this day.

Nieboer attended self-financed classes at Central Piedmont Community College, studying sculpture and ballet. On the recommendation of her mother, who is a hairdresser, Nieboer attended and graduated from the Aveda Arts & Sciences Institute in south Charlotte. In 2011, she moved to New York City and started working at a hair salon.

“I was trying to escape Charlotte, grow as a person and try to figure out what kind of person I wanted to be,” Nieboer says.

Soon she started doing hair on photo shoots for Teen Vogue and other clients. She also branched out into wig making for New York company Campbell Young Associates, making wigs for Broadway, movies, TV shows and for celebrities that wanted a personal wig for awards shows or galas.

“I always wanted to make wigs,” says Nieboer, who likens the process to creating art. While in New York, Nieboer returned to writing songs.

Several songs written during this period appear

on Dreamboat’s upcoming debut EP. One example, “Glitter Eyes,” is about a friend from Nieboer’s New York days, a fellow beautician who ultimately committed suicide. Nieboer stresses, however, that the song is a high-energy and positive tune, focusing on the happy memories she has of her friend.

“It’s a song about my memory of her, how I’ve changed, and how I can see her in the clouds all the time,” she says.

In contrast, “Relic” is a sad and deeply personal song drawing on the fate of Nieboer’s beloved aunt, who was her hero for turning her onto ’70s rock ‘n’ roll and ’80s new wave. Tragically, Nieboer’s role model died from the effects of alcoholism when she was 14. “’Relic’ is about addiction — when you’re addicted to something and you let it destroy you, and you [become] a relic in the ground,” Nieboer says.

Another song, “Woozy,” is about the end of a relationship. “When you are in a relationship with someone and you’re really committed to the idea of having a family and growing old with that person, and then it ends, you feel like you want to throw up,” Nieboer says.

After six years in New York, Nieboer had a reckoning.

“I looked around myself and it seemed like everyone was unhappy. They were working too hard, and they didn’t have their own life,” she says.

She closed that chapter and returned to Charlotte in 2017.

WHAT PERFORMERS TO CHECK FOR Charlotte Pride is returning to Uptown for the first time since 2019, with thousands expected to attend festivities taking place on Saturday and Sunday, Aug. 20-21, in the PNC Bank Festival Zone on South Tryon Street between Fourth Street and Good Samaritan Way. The 2019 event attracted more than 200,000 visitors over the course of the weekend, with organizers planning to exceed those attendance numbers this year.

Without the ability to do so last year, this year Charlotte Pride is celebrating a 20-year milestone since the first festival in 2001 and 40 years since the first local Gay Pride Day in 1981.

There will be all sorts of festivities throughout the weekend, and here’s a look at the performances to look forward to. on her inner life more fully than ever before.

Daya has also been an outspoken advocate for and a member of the LGBTQ community, performing at major Pride events like the 2019 WorldPride Opening Ceremony in New York City.

“I want to do whatever I can to normalize queer relationships and queer stories, and help lesser-known queer artists get more visibility in the mainstream,” said Daya, who also works with GLAAD and the Trevor Project. “When I came out I was lucky enough to have really supportive family and friends around me, and now I want to help move the needle for anyone who maybe doesn’t have it as easy as I did.”

Siena Liggins

to those unready to envision the next generation In two years, Siena Liggins has gone from an she represents. “There are no pop stars that look or unknown songwriter to one of Billboard’s Top Ten sound like Siena Liggins — and she’s well-aware of Rising LGBTQ+ artists (2021), sharing stages with that,” wrote Paper Magazine. the likes of Lizzo, Doja Cat, King Princess, Baby Tate, and Tkay Maidza.

DAYA

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Daya

On her new project The Difference, 22-year-old singer/songwriter Daya presents the latest and boldest chapter in an already phenomenal career.

Since emerging at age 16 with her double-platinum debut single “Hide Away,” the Pennsylvania-bred multi-instrumentalist has achieved such triumphs as winning a Grammy Award for her nine-timesplatinum Chainsmokers collaboration “Don’t Let Me Down,” earning gold certification for her debut album Sit Still, Look Pretty, opening for the likes of Carly Rae Jepsen and MARINA, and headlining her own national tour. After taking time out to recharge and rediscover herself as an artist, Daya now returns with a magnetic body of work that lets listeners in

KALIFA

SIENA LIGGINS

Siena’s much-anticipated debut album, Ms. Out Tonight, arrived complete with fast-paced, sensory overload visuals for every song. Coverage from The FADER, Buzzfeed, Refinery 29, and Earmilk prompted an album premiere experience in Atlanta, and the record has now surpassed 2.5 million streams with features on playlists across every streaming platform including Spotify’s New Music Friday, Fresh Finds and the cover of Tidal’s Rising: Pop playlist.

The project’s title is an affirmation of Siena’s arrival, a celebration of her identity, and a warning

ALL PHOTOS COURTESY OF CHARLOTTE PRIDE

Kalifa

Kalifa, formerly known as Le1f, is a musician and performer from Times Square, New York who’s garnered attention for his avant-garde music and performance styles. His background in ballet and modern dance earned him a degree in choreography.

After an introduction to the world as an electronic music producer, Kalifa went on to become a figure as an openly gay rapper with the success of his 2012 underground pop-rap banger “Wut.” His debut album was released on Terrible/XL Recordings in 2015.

Joe Ralli

Joe Ralli is a singer/ songwriter from Maryland based in Raleigh (which is coincidentally how you pronounce his name). His style draws from classic country and Americana artists like Willie Nelson and John Prine as well as modern country musicians such as Sturgill Simpson, Brent Cobb, Tyler Childers and more. These influences can be found in his lyrics dealing with struggles regarding mental health, finding his voice, and accepting who he is and who he loves.

GALLOWAY

Galloway

Using aspects of rock, pop, alternative and indie Dexter Jordan to create their unique modern indie-pop sound, The son of a minister of music and Baptist Galloway consists of Lawson Galloway (vocals), choir alto, local soul singer Dexter Jordan has spent Robert Redfield (guitar), Luca Amedeo Wilber (guitar), Nick Williams (bass), and Daniel Crump (drums). The band was established in the summer of 2017 as a solo project for singer/songwriter Lawson Galloway. Within the following months, Lawson recorded his first EP, entitled 404, which was released in January of 2018. In the summer of the same year, the solo project became a full band adding four members and going on to release a single and two EPs since. With the release of the American Failure EP in June 2022, Galloway strives to write songs about queerness, love, and mental health, intent on creating music that anyone can enjoy and relate to.

Nekeith

Having graced the cover of JOE RALLI our 2019 Pride Guide, Nekeith is an American hip-hop recording artist, model, dancer and actress. In 2018, Nekeith released her first EP album titled New Era and performed on BET Freestyle Friday, where she was crowned as one of the top 10 finalists. The nascent star caught the attention of Lee Daniels — creator of Fox’s Empire and director of Precious — who chose her to be part of his company’s Creative Workshop. In 2020, Nekeith released a hip-hop anthem titled “Bad Bitch Walking,” which gained popularity on social media and numerous blogs such as The Neighborhood Talk.

Recently Nekeith has released three singles called

“Shake That” and “Point Em Out” and “Who Got That.”

She is currently on the GLOW Tour 22 promoting her singles for her upcoming album coming out in the summer of 2022. With over 250,000 views and stream downloads, Nekeith is just getting started on her legacy.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

Johnàe Thee Egyptian Goddess

JOHNAE

his entire life exploring and expressing through music. In 2019, Dexter released his debut album, BLUE, which delicately unravels layers of grief, growth, coping and resilience through masterful musicianship. Since releasing BLUE, Dexter has opened for Grammy Award-winning artist Anthony Hamilton, been featured on Spotify’s I Love My NeoSoul editorial playlist, and has become a background singer for Grammy-nominated artist Ari Lennox.

NEKEITH

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Johnàe Thee Egyptian Goddess is from Liberty City in Miami. A professional dancer, recording artist, TV personality, and model. She also began mentoring under some of the biggest names in the industry, including Aisha Francis, Danielle Polanco and Yanis Marshall. Johnàe was featured on the Oxygen Channel’s The Prancing Elite Project, where the glitz and glamour backstage inspired her. In 2019, Johnàe became a cast member on The ON! Channel’s Beautiez & Bikerz of Charlotte, a reality show that follows the lives of Johnàe and several other entertainers as they perform all over the East Coast. Johnàe released her debut single, “Pwussy Bill Due,” in January 2020 and went viral after inspiring a TikTok dance and being added to the rotation on Hilltop Radio.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 10 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Paint Fumes w/ Fortezza, Donzii (Snug Harbor)

ACOUSTIC/SINGER-SONGWRITER

Ben Danaher w/ Stephanie Lambring (Evening Muse)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Shindig! ‘50s & ‘60s Dance Night w/ DJ Cory Wigg (Tommy’s Pub)

THURSDAY, AUGUST 11 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Tedious & Brief w/ Hollier (Evening Muse) The Velveteers (Neighborhood Theatre)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA Chris Isaak (Knight Theater)

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Red Dress Amy w/ Revelry Soul (Evening Muse) Anthrax w/ Black Label Society (The Fillmore) FANSU w/ Dorian Gris, Petah Iah & The Mind Renewing Band, DJ Fabz (Petra’s) Robby Hale w/ Bart Lattimore, Joe Nelson (Skylark Social Club) Funeral Chic w/ Brat, Fading Signal, BrassTongue (Snug Harbor) Hip-Hop & Rock Fusion feat. Zach Moss, OG Blak, Nobodi Important, Myrt’s Son, Zack Harris (Tommy’s Pub)

JAZZ/BLUES

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

JAZZ/BLUES

Emmaline (Middle C Jazz) Ashlyn Uribe w/ North by North, It’s Snakes (Petra’s)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Wiz Khalifa w. Logic (PNC Music Pavilion) Jah-Monte Ogbon w/ thefamilyorchestra, Chocolate KNDY (Snug Harbor)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Kevin Kaarl (Visulite Theatre)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night w/ Chase Brown & Aleeia “Sug” Bolton Brown (Tommy’s Pub)

FRIDAY, AUGUST 12 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill) My Blue Hope w/ Ringing, ModernEverything., Real Dolls (The Milestone) Drive By Truckers (Neighborhood Theatre) Jack Marion & The Pearl Snap Prophets w/ Blue Museum, The Local Odyssey (Petra’s) Latepost w/ Faster on Fire, Eavesdropper, Vivid Display (Skylark Social Club) The Penintentials w/ Queen City Rejects, Neon Deaths (Tommy’s Pub)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

BLXST (The Underground)

JAZZ/BLUES

The Joe Gransden Quartet feat. Robyn Springer (Middle C Jazz)

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SATURDAY, AUGUST 13

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Emo & Pop Punk Pajama Partty (Amos’ Southend) David Gray (CMCU Amphitheatre)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Keith Urban (PNC Music Pavilion)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC Dave Desmelik (Birdsong Brewing)

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Tenor Madness (Stage Door Theater)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Sun-Dried Vibes w/ Tali Roots, Bums Lie (Visulite Theatre)

Phaze Gawd w/ Plan B, Icey da Boss, RAATMA (The Milestone) The Joe Gransden Quartet feat. Robyn Springer (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Reminisce Over You 30th Ann’y Party (Crown Station) Tryon Road Flows: Drake Night (Neighborhood Theatre) Tommie Sunshine w/ Phillosopher, Chuck Norris, Spectre, Mr. Jupiter (SERJ)

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Tenor Madness (Stage Door Theater)

SUNDAY, AUGUST 14 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Daisychain w/ Dead Senate, Oh! You Pretty Things (The Milestone) Moontower w/ Fangs, DBMK (Neighborhood Theatre)

JAZZ/BLUES

Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill) Frank McComb (Middle C Jazz)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Kevin Marshall w/ Joe Middleton, Otis Hughes, Mike Bader (Tommy’s Pub)

MONDAY, AUGUST 15 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Bad Idols w/ Dead Senate, Jackson Fig, Mike Venum (The Milestone)

JAZZ/BLUES

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Dan O’Leary w/ Bryan Cherry, Cody James, Joe Nelson (Tommy’s Pub)

TUESDAY, AUGUST 16 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Pinegrove (The Underground) Gutless w/ Evergone, May-See Bullocks, Earth That Was (The Milestone)

LATIN/REGGAE/WORLD

A.R. Rahman (Ovens Auditorium)

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 17 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Paint Fumes w/ Acne, Wine Pride (Snug Harbor)

THURSDAY, AUGUST 18 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Szlachetka w/ George Hage (Evening Muse)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Shiprocked! Pride Party (Snug Harbor)

JAZZ/BLUES

Carrie Marshall (Middle C Jazz)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Brett Eldredge (CMCU Amphitheatre)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Carolina Songwriters in the Round feat. Tracy Simpson (Petra’s)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night w/ Chase Brown & Aleeia “Sug” Bolton Brown (Tommy’s Pub)

FRIDAY, AUGUST 19 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Voorath w/ The Reticent, Mysteriarch, Valar Morghulis (The Milestone) Faye w/ Secret Guest, Modern Moxie, Florecienta (Petra’s) The So Called Natives (Skaylark Social Club) Bootleg Aces (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar) Dang Ol Rheinhardt w/ An Archaic Agenda, Dumpster Service (Tommy’s Pub)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Christopher Cross (The Fillmore) Sleigh Bells (The Underground) Deep Fried Disco (Snug Harbor) Magic City Hippies w/ Willis (Snug Harbor)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Cooper Alan (Coyote Joe’s) George Banda Farewell Party (Evening Muse)

JAZZ/BLUES

Bob Baldwin (Middle C Jazz)

QCJS Late Night Party w/ Benji Hughes (Neighborhood Theatre) Bluestone Motel w/ The Great Indoors, Kids and Their Computers (Petra’s) The Criticals w/ Starbenders, The Simplicity (Snug Harbor) Icarus Airline w/ Oh! You Pretty Things, The Violet Exploit (Tommy’s Pub)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Chris Webby (The Underground)

JAZZ/BLUES

Bob Baldwin (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC

AfroPop! Charlotte (Crown Station) Mystic Grizzly (SERJ)

ACOUSTIC/SINGER-SONGWRITER

Mary Chapin Carpenter w/ John Craigie (Knight Theater) Patrick Lilly (Primal Brewery)

SUNDAY, AUGUST 21 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Leisure McCorkle (Birdsong Brewing) The Tony Naples Band (Comet Grill) Bog Loaf w/ Feral Vices, Imposters, Bob Fleming & the Cambria Iron Co. (The Milestone) Snail Mail w/ Momma, Hotline TNT (Neighborhood Theatre) Some Kind of Nightmare (Tommy’s Pub)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC Neal Carter (Primal Brewery)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC Hazy Sunday (Petra’s)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Bronco Tour USA (Ovens Auditorium)

MONDAY, AUGUST 22 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Living Dead Girl w/ Hellfire 76, Flame Tides (The Milestone)

JAZZ/BLUES

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s) Matt Postle & Friends (Tommy’s Pub)

TUESDAY, AUGUST 23

FUNK/JAM BANDS

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

SATURDAY, AUGUST 20

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

QCJS Late Night Jam feat. Akita (Neighborhood Theatre)

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Andrew McMahon (CMCU Amphitheatre) The Menders w/ The Cancellations (Evening Muse) Pink Beds w/ The New Creatures (Evening Muse) LanIIdae w/ Heirloom, Stellar Circuits, Den of Wolves (Amos’ Southend) Archers w/ Duckbeak, Two Sides of Me, American Theory (The Milestone)

Red Rockin’ Chair (Comet Grill) Alesana (Neighborhood Theatre) Jack Johnson (PNC Music Pavilion)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Bold Music Party (Evening Muse) Lost Cargo: Tiki Social Party (Petra’s)

VISIT QCNERVE.COM FOR THE FULL SOUNDWAVE LISTING.

AUGUST 2022 WED, AUG 10

BEN DANAHER AND STEPHANIE LAMBRING THUR, AUG 11

TEDIOUS & BRIEF AND HOLLIER FRI, AUG 12

22 & GOOD 4 U (21+)

RED DRESS AMY AND REVELRY SOUL THUR, AUG 18

SZLACHETKA & GEORGE HAGE (JACK THE RADIO) eveningmuse.com

GEORGE BANDA & FRIENDS FAREWELL SHOW/PARTY! S A T, A U G 2 0

THE MENDERS AND THE CANCELLATIONS

PINK BEDS AND

THE NEW CREATURES TUE, AUG 23

BOLD MUSIC SHOWCASE THUR, AUG 25

SOPHIE & THE BROKEN THINGS W/ STACY ANTONEL

3 3 2 7 n d av i d s o n s t, c h a r l o t t e n c

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S A T, A U G 1 3

FRI, AUG 19

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

HOT & COLD Yunta shows both sides in South End

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BY TIMOTHY DEPEUGH

It was at brunch that I finally changed my mind about Yunta, or at least came to some sort of understanding with myself about the type of restaurant it has the potential to be.

That this, the new Peruvian-Japanese restaurant in South End from the owners of Viva Chicken, should be anything other than a crowd-pleaser seemed a foregone conclusion. I’ve had Viva Chicken. I like Viva Chicken. Who doesn’t like Viva Chicken?

And it’s likely I had fast food on my mind when I walked into Yunta for the first time. There was a moment when I asked my friends if we had come to the right place. To be sure, any notions I had around having a chill dinner at a fast-casual restaurant that evening quickly evaporated as the hostess confirmed in a pleasant though slightly threatening tone that our entire party had arrived. They take this detail very seriously at Yunta.

As we were shown a table by the door, I realized that a lot was being taken seriously at Yunta. The interior, for example, industrial chic and designed in shades of black and neutral, with a white marble bar wrapped around an open kitchen — it reminded me of another, recently opened Asian-adjacent restaurant in South End, except Yunta’s felt more of a statement, like, “This is a scene. We thought you should know.”

Or the service. Hard to miss the army of staff — all dressed better than me; I’d rarely felt so sheepish — weaving in and out of each other, racing to tables to top off glasses of water, go through a menu, or flash wry smiles of acknowledgment at just how lucky you all are to be here, a scene.

Or, finally, when I stopped worrying about my wardrobe long enough to order a drink, the cocktails. These are serious drinks at Yunta. In a menu full of witty Pisco concoctions and clever spins on the types of Japanese libations Bill Murray might have hawked in Lost in Translation, I went the more classic route and ordered the Pisco Sour. When in Peru (by way of South Boulevard), right? Impeccably crafted and presented, it was velvety and tart, two very necessary things on a humid summer eve. By the end of that first visit, I had had three.

The rest of that first visit played out as expected when crowd-pleasing is a foregone conclusion.

Shrimp croquettes were designed precisely to make diners swoon, and that’s exactly what they did. Oof, they were so luxe — a crisp exterior so delicate that a single nudge from a tooth could make it collapse and send that rich, creamy center gushing forth.

Better next time to have a napkin ready when attempting to eat one, and better still to run your fork through the aji amarillo sauce on the side first, as that piquant swathe of heat and concentrated pepper flavor is exactly the right thing to bring balance to a bite that might otherwise be too rich.

Most importantly, the sauce was yellow.

A GREEN TAMALE TOPPED WITH PORK BELLY.

The sauce on the acevichado maki was also yellow. My group that day shared many things, but, as particularly cynical types of foodies, we shared, especially in this town, a special anxiety toward anything “maki.” Were Yunta’s going to be the obnoxious and patronizing sort, whose very existence constituted a hate crime, but one that caused most people to look away because how else would they know they were eating Asian food?

No, Yunta’s were a response to those. If you’re going to bastardize maki, then this is how you do it: with flair, with textures, and with unexpected flavors. Give me more of that fried shrimp, that cheeky, crispy corn, and that rice that’s not quite sushi rice, but rather is more like something seasoned from a pre-mixed packet and microwaved, which is totally the compliment it doesn’t sound like. I’ll even have more of that nondescript yellow sauce.

The point being, we had fun that first visit. We tried other dishes, of course, but after all those very serious drinks, my memory of them has faded. The yellow-ness of everything we had that day, on the other hand, has not. It’s become a running joke in a group chat, in fact, that I walked out of Yunta

that day asking, “Why does everything have to be so yellow, yellow, yellow?” Whereas all I truly remember is asking myself, “Is this my favorite new restaurant in Charlotte?”

The follow-up

And then fate conspired to make my second visit a disaster. There was even a flood, and I thought I was going to die.

On my drive over to the restaurant that night, the skies opened up and unleashed a fury of the particularly Southern and summertime sort. I let my friend off as close as possible to the entrance — neither of us had umbrellas — and I drove around looking for a place to park.

When I finally made it into the restaurant, I was so thoroughly soaked that you could see my tattoos and nipples through my polo shirt and my jeans were doing their damndest, along with gravity, to pull themselves off. But my friend was still standing there at the hostess stand.

“They said they don’t seat incomplete parties.”

I told you they take this point seriously.

But what made that a problem that night, on

PHOTO BY TIMOTHY DEPEUGH

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

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top of the weather or thanks to it, was that many other people had the same idea: drop friends off, go look for parking. And the people who were already seated and close to finishing their meals had the collective idea to sit a while longer and let the rain pass. So much so that by the time my reservation time came and went, there was a bottleneck at the door: complete and incomplete parties alike, drenched, and nowhere to seat them. This was a weekday night to boot. What exactly was going on?

When we were finally shown our table, I was still dripping all over the place, much to the chagrin of the pretty people seated all around me. Like the many dogs I see all around town, I tried to shake myself dry — I had by this time asked for napkins no less than 10 times — and all I succeeded in doing was making everything else wet.

Our server appeared, without napkins, to take our drink order. At least, I think that’s what she was asking. The music was so loud that if I didn’t walk into Yunta that night with hearing problems, I would surely leave with them.

I then started noticing the Chanel bags around me, the too-short skirts, the eyeliner, the single bros at the bar trying their hardest to pick up on the single women at the bar, and in the chaos of it all, I worried this time I was legitimately underdressed. Unlike the woman in the beyond-chic black party dress sitting next to me, I was unintentionally showing my nipples.

And then I heard my friend say to the server, here at the new Peruvian restaurant, that she didn’t eat chilies.

What exactly was going on?

A very serious drink calmed me down. (By now, this has become a theme, and that theme is that I am, more likely than not, an alcoholic.) And then the food started to arrive. For my friend, a bespoke, nochili meal of grilled beef and roasted potatoes. She did agree, however, to share the shrimp croquettes with me, due in no small part to how much I raved about them, but as seemed apropos for anything trying to happen that night, these shrimp croquettes were bricks of cold, murky sludge, light years from the wonderful things I had previously. We sent them back.

The greatest thing about the rest of the food I ordered was that yellow had this time given way to white. Is every week at Yunta a different color?

Why was everything white? The clear winner was octopus tiradito, which wore its white sauce like a cloak, hiding profound depth and umami intensity underneath. My server had warned me not to order it because the black olive aioli would be too much to handle. I openly defied her, just as the flavors on this

dish openly defy sashimi convention.

The clear loser was, well, anything with Parmesan cheese. I have already made the promise to myself to research Parmesan’s place in Peruvian cuisine. I can only assume its importance based on the fact that at least half of the dishes on the menu feature Parmesan in some fashion. It’s my own fault, therefore, that I ordered the Parmesano maki. The shrimp and scallops were lost on my palate, buried underneath mounds of Parmesan cheese so ostentatious that they have the very real possibility, especially at the nightclub scene Yunta had become, of being mistaken for cocaine.

The point being, on that second visit, Yunta had so succeeded in becoming the scene it so desired that food, service, and decorum had been violently pushed aside in favor of high heels, loud music, and names-on-lists. The only respite for the low key crowd would be in wistful memories of erstwhile croquettes, at home.

But then on my third and most recent visit, I finally figured it out.

Why, at 12:01 p.m. on a Saturday, is the music so loud? Who is there to hear it? The army of servers, yes, but for my friend and I who were sat in the back, in one of the booths for two that are far more comfortable than they look, we couldn’t process anything without a very serious drink.

Our bottle of San Pelligrino was given the same ice bucket treatment as a bottle of Dom. Our server must have known how charming he was and made sure that we were up to speed with every single detail in the dishes we ordered.

The drinks remained very serious. I had a red wine sangria with blueberries that almost made me forget about the impeccable Pisco Sours.

Parmesan cheese was used more sparingly this time, more of a seasoning than an ode to an 8-ball.

And we had what I’m declaring here in August to be the single best dish I’ve had in Charlotte in 2022: a green tamale topped with slices of crisp, fatty pork belly. It’s not even on the menu, for shame, but happened to be a special on that special afternoon.

You see, it was at brunch that I finally changed my mind about Yunta, or at least came to some sort of understanding with myself about the type of restaurant it has the potential to be.

For a very specific window of time on any given day — namely, whenever the sun is up, hours removed from the scene and the thumpa-thump, and when there is no suggestion of rain in the forecast — Yunta, otherwise a hot mess when it is trying too hard to be hot, is a very good restaurant.

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LIFESTYLE PUZZLES SUDOKU

TRIVIA TEST

BY LINDA THISTLE

PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE.

BY FIFI RODRIGUEZ

1. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: What is the only vowel on a computer keyboard’s middle row of letters?

2. LANGUAGE: What is the diacritical mark used over the first “a” in “chateau”?

3. GEOGRAPHY: What is the capital of the Czech Republic?

4. MOVIES: Where was the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy filmed?

5. MEASUREMENTS: What is 4 ounces of liquid equal to in cups?

6. U.S. STATES: Which is the only American state that begins with the letter P? 7. LANGUAGE: What is the word that stands for the letter Y in the international radio alphabet?

8. CHEMISTRY: What is the symbol for the element zinc?

9. TELEVISION: What is Kramer’s first name in the sitcom “Seinfeld”?

10. MUSIC: Which country is home to the rock group AC/DC?

CROSSWORD

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WWW.CANVASTATTOOS.COM

2019 2020 2021

NEIGHBORS’ NAMESAKES

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(980) 299-2588 3012 N. DAVIDSON STREET VOTED BEST TATTOO SHOP 2918 N. DAVIDSON STREET CHARLOTTE, NC 28205

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

THE SEEKER

STRETCH A DOLLAR The best workouts in life are free

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BY KATIE GRANT

Fun fact: Research shows that you push yourself harder when working out in a group setting. I’m not surprised by this finding at all, are you? I know firsthand that when I’m working out at home (usually half-dressed, hoping no one creeps past my window), I push myself to a “meh” level, a comfortable place I can plateau and idle for the rest of my workout. But what kind of workout is that even? We’ll just go with “low impact” for dignity’s sake.

After working out at this pace for the past year, I’ve concluded that expanding my fitness repertoire is imperative to my physical and mental health. During my yoga teacher training, I learned about neuroplasticity and its importance as we age. And although I’ve put my teaching on hold, the concept is still applicable — mainly because I have a brain. And because you do, too, you should also give a shit about neuroplasticity.

But what is neuroplasticity, you ask? In short, the ability of the brain to change and adapt due to learning something new. Got it? Great, we’ll circle back to this concept.

As a yogi and former yoga teacher, I firmly believe in accessible health and fitness (group workout classes should not cost twenty-something dollars, for example).

I’m constantly seeking the best of the best around town regarding free fitness classes, and currently at the top of my list is Optimist Hall, the food hall in Optimist Park near NoDa. Their OH Wellness fitness program has featured some incredible, free fitness opportunities provided by local fitness studios like Eat the Frog Fitness, CorePower Yoga, and most recently, AKT. I recommend signing up for their newsletter and following them on Eventbrite because registration slots fill up quickly.

Not familiar with AKT yet? That’s because their SouthPark studio hasn’t opened. Still, their recent Saturday morning event at Optimist Hall provided a sneak peek into what Charlotte fitness enthusiasts can expect.

AKT features group dance-class formats that deliver an effective total-body workout focused on low impact.

These high-intensity movements lift your booty and tone muscles and improve strength, agility and flexibility. This is where neuroplasticity comes in.

I am not a dancer — never was one, and never plan to be. But sticking with my yoga, running and HITT

routine can be limiting. The idea of dancing, especially in front of people, intimidates me. Still, I was welcomed by the instructors and wasn’t made to feel like a bumbling idiot once! I reiterate that I am not a dancer, so I don’t foresee myself as an AKT regular once their studio opens.

Still, it was fun, I made some new neural connections, and I burned a shit ton of calories.

Another free fitness class on the top of my list is CorePower Yoga at Southern Strain Brewing’s new location in Plaza Midwood. It’s a recurring event on the last Saturday of each month. The event I checked out was an all-level 60-minute yoga flow led by a CorePower instructor in their taproom. Technically, it was a Yoga Sculpt Bodyweight class, which means we used gravity and our body weight to break a (very intense) sweat.

With my husband, yoga mats, and water bottles in tow, it was the perfect Saturday morning; the taproom garage windows were rolled up, and a summer breeze ruffled through to wick the sweat away. It concluded with a post-practice brew for some weekend warrior vibes that say, “I came to sweat but stayed to party.”

First was the stretch, then was the socialization.

Sipping our beer, we hung around the taproom while chatting with the bartender, a fellow fitness enthusiast.

I learned Southern Strain’s “sip and stretch” isn’t their only recurring event.

If you haven’t already, give them a follow to stay updated on their events calendar, which includes group activities like the Southern Strain Run Club and TuesdayTrivia. They even offer a Yappy Hour & Adult Game Night for all of you dog lovers.

So, after bopping around to all of these free events like a broke bitch, I can’t help but ponder the age old question: Does free hold value? In the marketing world, they say if you provide services, products, or events for free, you signal to your customers that you have no value.

But I challenge this mindset as antiquated. When the offering is free, like community events, people enjoy it, tell their friends about it, come back for more, and maybe even sign up for a class package. That means spending money, thus contradicting the concept of offering little to no value.

Until next month, stay sweaty, friends.

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LIFESTYLE

AUGUST 10 - 16 ARIES

HOROSCOPE

BORN THIS WEEK: Your ambition makes you a success at whatever you choose to do — especially if it’s in the world of the performing arts.

(March 21 to April 19) Aspects favor socializing with family and friends, but an irksome workplace situation could intrude. No use LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) That uneasy grumbling, Lamb. Just do it, and then get back to mood could be your Libran inner voice reminding the fun times. you that while it’s great to be with your new friends, you need to take care not to ignore your old ones.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) There’s still time for you Ferdinands and Fernandas to relax and sniff the SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) A sudden roses. But a major work project looms and will soon spate of criticism could shake the Scorpion’s usually demand much of your attention through the next high sense of self-confidence. Best advice: You made week. a decision you believed in — now defend it.

2022 KING FEATURES SYND., INC.

AUGUST 17 - 23

BORN THIS WEEK:

You enjoy being with people, and people love being with you. You would probably do very well in politics.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) You’re wise to let

your Arian skepticism question a former adversary’s than you feel you can afford. But, careful budget request to let bygones be bygones. Time will tell if adjustments will help. Your fiscal picture soon they are trying to pull the wool over the Lamb’s eyes. brightens.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Congratulations. Your SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) That hard work soon pays off with some well-deserved decision you made might still have its detractors, recognition. Meanwhile, that important personal but your supporters are growing. Meanwhile, your personal life takes on some welcome new relationship needs more attention from you. developments.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) That new person in

your life seems trustworthy, but don’t turn him or SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) her into a confidant just yet. Remember: The secret Matters of the mind intrigue the sage Sagittarian Your reluctance to help restart a stalled relationship you don’t reveal is the one you won’t lose sleep over. through the week’s end. By then, you should feel more than ready to make room for pursuits of the could be traced to unresolved doubts about your partner’s honesty. Rely on a trusted friend’s advice. CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Your kindness makes heart. a difference in someone’s life. But by the week’s end, CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) a touch of Cancerian envy could create a problem CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) The The capricious Sea Goat is torn between duty with a colleague. Take care to keep it under control. canny Capricorn can offer good counsel to others.

But how about taking some advice yourself from a and diversion. Best advice: Do both. Tend to your everyday chores, and then go out and enjoy your LEO (July 23 to August 22) A new spurt of energy close friend or family member who is able and ready sends you roaring back into that challenging work to help? well-earned fun time.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Your enthusiasm SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) persuades even the toughest doubters to listen to

are rising, and you feel like you can handle anything that the job requires. While that’s great, don’t isolate yourself. Keep your door open to your workplace colleagues for sound advice.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) A workplace change AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Cutting could lead to that promotion you’ve been hoping

back on some of your activities for a few days helps for. But you’ll have to face some tough competition to restore your energy levels. You should be feeling before the Lion can claim his or her share of the ready to tackle your many projects early next week. goodies.

(February 19 to March 20) A co-worker VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Your rigidity PISCES might secretly be harping on about your work regarding a difficult workplace situation could be to your mutual colleagues. But some associates the reason your colleagues aren’t rushing to your will come to your defense, and the situation will assistance. Try being more flexible in your demands. ultimately work to your advantage.

situation. But be careful not to overdo it, or your sizzle could fizzle before your task is completed.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) A new workplace opportunity offers a variety of challenges VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Your practical that you might find intriguing. Best advice: Take sense helps you see the logic of being a bit more things one step at a time so that you don’t feel flexible with a workplace colleague. But you still overwhelmed. have a ways to go before there’s a true meeting of PISCES (February 19 to March 20) A bid to revive a the minds. relationship that ended on a bitter note needs to be LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) A surprise carefully thought-out before you can even begin to situation could cause you to spend more money consider plunging into a new emotional commitment.

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Trivia Answers

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Your energy levels

1. A. 2. Circumflex.

3. Prague.

4. New Zealand.

5. 1/2 cup.

6. Pennsylvania.

7. Yankee.

8. Zn. 9. Cosmo.

10. Australia.

what you’re proposing. But don’t push too hard, or you’ll push them away. Moderate for best results.

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

SAVAGE LOVE

CHOKE HOLD Under pressure

BY DAN SAVAGE

I have a question about choking. Or should that be simulated choking? I’ve recently discovered that being pinned down by my neck is a huge turn on for me. I love the feeling of being dominated and controlled, and of feeling my partner’s strength on this part of my body. I’m much more interested in this feeling than in actual breath control or oxygen deprivation. I’ve been reading up on choking because I’m trying to make sure I can be manhandled in the way I like as safely as possible. However, all the advice about choking is about how dangerous it is. But most of the advice concentrates on the dangers of restricting oxygen (which is not what I am going for) or on damaging the windpipe by putting pressure on the front of the throat (which my partners avoid).

So, my question is … how dangerous is this kind of simulated choking play really? Play where one person is being held down by their throat with only mild pressure? What can we do to make it as safe as possible? I’m having a hard time finding good answers, and given how wet this makes my pussy, abstaining from this activity is not an option for me.

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PLEASE I NEED MORE EXPERTISE

discussing the inherent risks and how to minimize them.

(Minimize ≠ eliminate.) Many weren’t even cognizant of the risks, which makes sense given the dearth of research on choking (and, again, why Dr. Herbenick has been researching this now-mainstream practice).

“The reason that so many sites say choking is dangerous is because it is dangerous,” said Dr. Herbenick.

“That’s not a scare tactic. Although rare, people do occasionally die from being choked, which is technically a form of strangulation, and people have gone to jail for accidentally injuring or killing a partner during consensual choking.”

Most people who’ve experimented with choking describe the act as “consensual, wanted, and pleasurable,” according to Dr. Herbenick’s research, which raises another concern: the false sense of security many have about it.

“Because most people experiment with choking without any obvious negative repercussions, they often think they’re doing it ‘safely,’ and that may not be the case,” said Dr. Herbenick. “And because people sometimes engage in choking frequently, there may be cumulative effects on the brain — in other words, negative effects that build up over time rather than from a single incident of being choked. Cumulative incidents are difficult to notice as they’re happening. However, even mild pressure on the neck/throat is likely to reduce oxygen to the brain because it involves compressing blood vessels. The kinds of cumulative effects that may occur include greater likelihood of depression, anxiety, ringing in the ears, headaches, and memory issues, among others, though we need more research to say for sure.”

So, is there a safe way to create the sensation of being choked — or pinned down by your neck — without the risk?

“Some people who are into choking but who don’t want to take on these risks ask their partner to lightly press against their collarbone but not their throat,” said Dr. Herbenick. “And PINME is correct that any pressure to the front of the throat is particularly risky, given how vulnerable the windpipe is to injury. Other people decide to ask their partner to choke them anyway but only rarely, to reduce the likelihood of cumulative risk.”

“Choking and other forms of breath play used to be very uncommon,” said Dr. Debby Herbenick. “But over the past decade, choking has become extremely common, especially among people under 40.”

Dr. Herbenick is a professor at Indiana University School of Public Health, a prolific and widely published sex researcher, and the author of many books, including The Coregasm Workout: The Revolutionary Method for Better Sex Through Exercise. A few years ago, Dr. Herbenick’s students began asking her about choking, with some sharing harrowing stories of being choked by sex partners without their consent. There was very little data out there about choking, which was all over porn sites, and that inspired Dr. Herbenick and some colleagues to undertake the first serious and scientifically rigorous studies of sexual choking.

Disturbingly, Dr. Herbenick found that a lot of people This is a preview of this week’s Savage Love. See the — mostly male people — were choking their partners rest of the answer at qcnerve.com. Listen to Dan on the during sex without discussing it first. Meaning, they weren’t Savage Lovecast; follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage; establishing mutual interest, they weren’t obtaining questions@savagelove.net. unambiguously enthusiastic consent, and they weren’t

SCHEDULE YOUR LGBTQ+ ALLYSHIP WORKSHOP CONTACT INFO@PFLAGCHARLOTTE.ORG TODAY TO SCHEDULE AN EDUCATIONAL PROGRAM FOR YOUR WORKPLACE, HEALTHCARE PRACTICE, SCHOOL, SENIOR LIVING OR FAITH COMMUNITY.

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