Queen City Nerve - August 9, 2023

4 House of Hate by Justin LaFrancois

Freedom House Church leader heads harassment campaigns, spreads misinformation

8 Let’s Be Friendly by Ryan Pitkin

Friendly Like Me app advocates for accessibility at Charlotte Pride

10 Let Me Tell You a Story by Annie Keough Charlotte Area Drag Story Hour promotes inclusion, diversity and literacy among local children

12 Lifeline: Ten Cool Things To Do in Two Weeks 14 Soundwave

20 Taking the Main Stage by Pat Moran Janelle Sy’mone pays her respects on ‘Good Girl’

21 Eight More Musicians Set to Perform at Pride FOOD

Thanks to our contributors: Grant Baldwin, Katie Grant, Annie Keough, Dezanii Lewis, Jasiatic Anderson, Manuel Portillo, KB Photography, Joe Van, and Dan Savage.

HOUSE OF HATE

Freedom House Church leader heads harassment campaigns, spreads misinformation

BY JUSTIN LAFRANCOIS

The video seems normal at first glance: a blonde woman, driving a car with her phone in one hand, recording a video using her front-facing camera to post on her Instagram page as she travels down a rural road just outside of a major city. As she speaks to the camera, a question seems to suddenly pop into her mind, so she blurts it out: “Why do you have the Pride logo up if you’re a baking company?”

The ask is part of her intro to an instructional video on how to address people, businesses and corporations when they display the “Pride logo” — meaning a rainbow flag or pride flag representing the LGBTQ social movement — publicly to their customers.

“That should not be shoved down everyone’s throats, and so all you need to do, every single time you see it … simply let people know, go into the store … say, ‘Hey, I would like to know why it is important for you to display who has sex with who,” she instructs her followers, still driving as she speaks into the camera.

Her disdain for the LGBTQ community goes much further than that one Instagram video, and when she posts, her 23.7K followers listen. After all, she’s a lead pastor at one of Charlotte’s most influential evangelical institutions.

So that raises the question: Who the hell is Penny Maxwell?

Penny and her husband Troy Maxwell are the lead pastors and co-founders at Freedom House Church, based in the Charlotte area with thousands of weekly parishioners spread out across locations in South End, northeast Charlotte and Lake Norman.

The Maxwells founded Freedom House in 2002. At the time, they held satellite church services at schools in north Charlotte after moving from Richmond, Virginia, to begin a church in “a city they’d never even visited,” according to an old WordPress site.

The church purchased property on Salome Church Road in north Charlotte in 2006 and opened their flagship location at the site in 2011.

Six years later, they opened a second location on Griffith Street in South End at a former Pick-

It Furniture warehouse in April 2017 — after a $2.8 million renovation to the facility. Their third location was opened in October 2019 under a lease agreement before purchasing the property in November 2021.

In a section of the Freedom House website that asks for “Liberty donations” from “Kingdom Builders,” or people who “commit to give above and beyond their normal tithes,” church leaders say they are looking at south Charlotte locations for a potential fourth campus, but they must first raise $1.6 million for a deposit.

One former church member told Queen City Nerve they were once pulled aside and told they weren’t tithing enough of their salary to the church by an executive at the church who told them, “as leaders, we need to lead by example.”

The team also opened Freedom House Lodge, a mountain campus retreat for the church’s “Strong Men” movement, in May 2022. Church leaders don shirts with the slogan “Make Men Men Again,” and believe the lodge will be “a place of life change for the men of our church.”

And finally, what started as a way for children to get virtual education during the pandemic became Freedom Academy in 2022 where they offer a private “biblically-based environment,” one rooted in right-wing political ideology.

“It’s integral that our children are able to get an education without the nonsense of woke ideaologies [sic] that directly go against Biblical principles — and Freedom Academy is our solution,” reads a Facebook post from the church in June 2022.

Courting controversy at Freedom House Church

“There is no reason a baking company, a clothing company, a shoe company, a baby food company, a makeup store, needs to promote who has sex with who — being inclusive, or let’s just say that you want to show support to somebody, then do it in your private time,” Penny continues in her video from the driver’s seat — one of hundreds of similar

videos she’s posted to her Instagram account.

In June 2023, Penny, along with a group called Protect North Carolina Kids and a local woman named Lisa Metzger spent a day attacking, harassing, slandering and defaming a local smallbusiness owner during a drag brunch at Free Will Craft + Vine.

Drag brunches and drag story hours have become increasingly popular around the country and, in Charlotte, Free Will Craft + Vine had hosted more than 30 before the June incident. They have now become a target of right-wing evangelical extremists.

When Joel Cox, owner of Free Will Craft + Vine, was preparing for the monthly drag event at his NoDa bar, he checked with staff to make sure they were comfortable continuing the event after a week

celebrated the closure in a July 25 post, even taking credit for shutting the business down.

Prior to the closure, Cox confirmed with Queen City Nerve that it had been in the works for months, long before Maxwell set her sights on the business.

“We would have folded a lot faster without [the drag brunches], for sure,” he said. “They were some of our biggest days. We were doing them once a month … It’s just a hard corner. Right? All the development that was supposed to happen there got halted. So things that were supposed to open in 2019, 2020 are just now opening. It was just terrible timing for all of it. So we’ve been doing the drag brunches very consistently for two and a half years.”

On June 24, Free Will opened their doors for a Pride Month drag brunch during which a group of about six protesters showed up holding signs and

of harassing phone calls to staff in the lead-up. He wasn’t totally prepared for the fallout that came after.

Cox mentioned there had never been any pushback on these events except for one QC Concerts performance of Kinky Boots.

“We’ve never had anyone physically show up. Leading up to this one, they were calling and harassing the staff, which blew my mind,” he recalled.

Free Will recently closed its doors to customers after three years in business due to setbacks faced from the COVID-19 shutdowns, the closure of Craighead Road, and delayed development in the NoDa area surrounding the business. Penny Maxwell

urging people not to enter the business due to the “sexualization of children.” The event took place from noon to 2 p.m. with protesters there from 11 a.m. to around 12:30 p.m.

A call to protest the event and the business was first posted on the @protect_nckids Instagram account, an organization started by two white women who were “disgusted with the Marxist agenda being shoved down the throats of children,” and “decided to be a voice of reason in the Greater Charlotte area,” according to their website.

Penny Maxwell shared the post in the lead-up to the event, calling for her supporters to show up and speak out against the business. A video from the protest and multiple videos taken from

PROTEST OUTSIDE FREE WILL CRAFT + VINE ON JULY 22.

PHOTO BY JOEL COX CONT. ON PG.

the Instagram stories of the Drag Queens who performed, plus location tags, were posted by Lisa Metzger on her Instagram account, which were then also shared by Penny Maxwell.

Maxwell took it a step further by posting a picture of Cox, his LinkedIn profile, and his wife’s Instagram page. She also posted photos of two mothers who were in attendance with their children and asked her followers to call Child Protective Services against them. Her post was then shared by David Harris Jr., a right-wing extremist whose account has over 1 million followers.

“These parents needs [sic] to have DSS come in and investigate them,” the post read. “The sexualization of children is absolutely wrong. If you mess with innocent children, you should be held accountable. This is horrific! Maybe if we start calling out these woke parents, these children will have a chance! This is absolutely the parents fault just as well as establishments for hosting half-naked, gyrating, drag queens and having their babies hand dollar bills to them. This is disgusting behavior. (Account handle removed) (Account handle removed) (Account Handle removed) need a visit from DSS!”

Maxwell included the number to the Department of Social Services in her Instagram story. The three mothers she tagged in the post were harassed for days following the post before eventually deactivating their accounts.

Threats and harassment, in-person and online

Cox wasn’t wrong in his thinking to protect his staff.

“Speaking with them, speaking with the staff, everybody was like, ‘No, we’re not doing anything wrong. This is just ridiculous.’ I was like, ‘If you feel unsafe, we’ll pull the plug,’” he recalled.

Free Will hosted the Pride drag brunch just weeks after members of the Proud Boys — a male farright neo-fascist group that promotes and engages in political violence — showed up to Free Range Brewing in nearby Villa Heights to protest a drag story hour, one of whom showed up with a gun.

Escorts there for protective purposes reportedly confronted the Proud Boy, who told them, “I have the gun in case the transvestite came at the protesters,” a scenario that drag king Marty McGuy, who read at the story hour, called “laughable.”

McGuy, an expert in early childhood development with a passion for theatre, performs regularly in a network of supportive spaces in

Columbia, South Carolina, especially at his preferred LGBTQ-affirming church, Reformation Lutheran.

“So when I got into drag, I loved theatre, I loved makeup, and that just seemed like a fun expression,” he told Queen City Nerve. “And as much as I like performing in your standard drag bar, I knew that there was a huge interest for drag story time … I knew I had that skill set, and I loved doing it, and I was really good at it, so I started doing it on my own during the pandemic.”

After assisting the Harriet Hancock LGBT Center in Columbia with providing in-person and digital story hours during the pandemic, McGuy had only come across one person upset about their performances — someone who came off as your everyday internet troll. The real hate didn’t come

work and I got a DM from someone I didn’t know. And they were like, ‘Hey, I don’t know if you know Penny Maxwell. She has taken a video of you and basically called you Satan,’” McGuy recalled.

“So I freaked out because again, the one time I do something like remotely PG-13, I freaked out. I had no idea who Penny Maxwell was, why she was sharing my content, why it was getting shared so many times. I freaked out and I contacted Josh and I was like, ‘Look, if you don’t want me to come, I understand,’” he continued.

Drag Story Hour is a national organization with chapters around the country and Jernigan’s nonprofit is the fiscal sponsor of the local chapter. He is no stranger to the threats that come when social media warriors hit the streets.

past, protesting parents have tried to send their teenage kids into adult-only drag performances and have been turned away by these peacekeepers.

Jernigan says he can walk away easily from a face-to-face threat and tries not to show any fear or outward reaction, but that the words and tone still shake him each time.

Most comments from Maxwell’s followers toe the line of a threat without crossing the line into illegal territory; statements like “This disgusting pedophile should just be wiped out,” are commonplace. McGuy remembers one person asking, “Where’s the Pulse shooter when you need him?” — a reference to the 2016 mass shooting at a gay nightclub in Florida.

“So they won’t be like, ‘I want this person to die … I want to kill you or I’m going to kill you,’ but like, ‘Gosh, it would be great if you were dead,’” McGuy explained.

In one of the dozens of harassing messages that Cox received, one person said, “I’m going to slit yours and your family’s throats and burn down all of your businesses.”

He remembers the toll the harassment took on him personally, and the questions it raised for him.

“So it’s like, do I have to change my behavior, my day-to-day? Do I have to not be who I am naturally to make sure that nobody is buying into this? I’m still terrified to turn my Instagram back on just in case. I don’t want to invite any more of that into my life. The hardest part is like, I just felt like there was nothing I could do other than ride it out. So then I didn’t sleep at all.”

The harassment took a similar toll on McGuy. “I shut down for like, a full three days after her post because it was just a weird attack on my character that I guess I should have expected, but I didn’t expect in that scale,” he recalled.

until McGuy performed in Charlotte, which is how he came into the crosshairs of Maxwell and friends.

As a majority kid-friendly performer, McGuy saw no reason for anyone to attack his performances online. Then he connected with Joshua Jernigan, co-founder of the local Drag Story Hour chapter, to perform at the Charlotte International Arts Festival in September 2022. McGuy had booked an event at a bar that began at midnight and decided to take the kid-friendly act to a new level for the late-night bar patrons.

“It still was, like, risque for me, but it definitely was different than my normal content. I normally wouldn’t post it, but I was really proud of it. And again, it’s on my adult only page … So I posted like 15 seconds of it. Very nothing. Then one day I was at

During a drag story hour event in Union County, one protester threatened Jernigan, stating, “I’m going to gut you like a fish.” Jernigan says he is repeatedly harassed by Penny Maxwell and others.

Jernigan operates mainly in Union County and often at East Frank Superette and Kitchen in Monroe. He also partners with Charlotte Arts Theatre and Free Range Brewing for events. He organized the event at which the Proud Boy showed up with a gun, and his highest attended story hour at the Charlotte International Arts Festival in September 2022 saw more than 90 people show up in support.

His chapter has formed a group of escorts who act as private security, peacekeepers and intelligence agents against the protesters. In the

While McGuy doesn’t experience this harassment in his hometown of Columbia, he says that the hesitation to perform in Charlotte is eased by the support system he has in Jernigan and the Charlotte community. “If they didn’t have that, I probably wouldn’t do it.”

While Penny Maxwell calls for the harassment of these people and businesses, she herself has filed at least one police report for someone allegedly “cyberstalking” her. One CMPD incident report from 2017 states that, between Oct. 25 and Nov. 11 of that year, “the listed suspect cyberstalked [Maxwell] on Instagram. The victim reported that she has received at least thirty electronic messages from the listed suspect. The suspect is sending the electronic message in the attempt to annoying [sic] and harass the victim.”

FREEDOM HOUSE CHURCH’S SOUTH END CAMPUS.

PHOTO BY JUSTIN LAFRANCOIS

In 2022, she filed charges against Roberta McNair, owner of Good Life at Enderly Park, stemming from comments made on Instagram during a debate about parking in which Maxwell rushed to the defense of local restaurateur and known evangelical Jim Noble. McNair was arrested and later shut down her business.

The arrest followed a comment by McNair reading, “Do you want to have a shoot-out at church this coming Sunday,” which she told Queen City Nerve was a facetious response to Maxwell’s post warning McNair that she could be located through geotagging. All charges against McNair were eventually dropped.

Guns have had a known presence at Freedom House Church over the years. Maxwell and other lead pastors have hired teams of armed guards to follow them around in the church, according to one person familiar with the church’s workings, and certain members of the church are allowed to carry concealed weapons on the premises. A gun and knife raffle is scheduled for a Strong Men’s conference coming up in September.

The incident involving McNair, a Black woman, was far from the only racially charged incident involving Freedom House Church. Multiple Black former church members told Queen City Nerve they were made uncomfortable by the church’s public statements and posts about social justice issues including the Charleston church shooting in 2015, Keith Lamont Scott in 2016, and Colin Kaepernick in 2016.

In 2013, it was widely reported that an email circulated inside the church asking for “only white people” to be at the door greeting newcomers to the church.

It was reported that Pastor Makeda Pennycooke, a Black woman, sent the email, though a source familiar with the incident said she was used as a scapegoat, sending the email after attending a meeting with church leadership on diversity.

Pennycooke resigned as a “calling from God” in 2014 with much fanfare that included dancers and confetti cannons. Pennycooke had moved from Richmond, Virginia to Charlotte along with the Maxwell family to help them found the church before her “calling” to resign.

Freedom House Church’s political stances and inner workings toe a line

While Penny Maxwell’s personal Instagram page does not double as a platform for the church itself, she is a public figure of the church and the church often hosts political candidates for discussions during services. Some notable guests have included

Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson, former N.C. Congressional District 12 Rep. candidate Tyler Lee, and former Vice President Mike Pence.

Candace Owens has made more than one appearance along with Kayleigh McEnany, Charlie Kirk, John Amanchukwu and Ben Carson. Penny and Troy Maxwell were at Donald Trump’s home in Bedminster, New Jersey on Aug. 4 with other

endorsing his extremist ideologies on their personal pages. He spoke at FHC in May 2022 and met with the executive team in June 2023.

They’ve spent time with Ron DeSantis while he was in Charlotte, publicly state that Christians cannot vote for Democrats in an election, and push “Bible-based candidates” on their congregation.

It is against U.S. tax code for churches carrying

with a number of COVID, abortion and education misinformation posts, including 43 posts about Target’s Pride section between May 3-28 alone.

Maxwell regularly posts headlines from DailyMail, which The Factual rates the secondlowest reliable news source in their entire database.

On Aug. 6, 2023, she posted a misleading headline that reads, “California Legislature Passes Bill Reducing Penalties for Oral, Anal Sex with Willing Children.”

In the caption, Maxwell wrote, “Senator Wiener feels that because the LGBTQ community has a vast and varied appetite, the rules should be relaxed. I say no. I say you touch our children and we will come after you Lorena Bobbitt style. If you don’t know who she is, just Google her. This sickness and mental health crisis needs to be addressed. We don’t placate sickos.”

Lorena Bobbitt was a reference to an infamous case in the 1990s in which a woman castrated her husband while he slept.

As it turns out, the headline came from 2020 and was debunked by the Associated Press as false information in 2022 after it continued to spread among conspiracy-minded groups online.

In 2020, Freedom House Church was widely known for going against COVID protocols and was adamantly against mask ordinances, at a time when the church also paid off $2 million worth of medical debts to Charlotte-area people.

Maxwell makes hateful posts about the queer community almost daily and her senior pastors even echo her resentment toward LGBTQ folks in Charlotte.

pastors from across the country discussing policy before Trump had to leave for Washington, D.C. to be arrested on his third felony indictment.

A former staff member of the church says they have knowledge of at least some of these candidates being paid for their appearances.

Since Jan. 1, 2023, Maxwell has made 69 posts either endorsing a political candidate or bashing other ones. Multiple posts were made by the Freedom House Church account endorsing political candidates in 2022, including Tyler Lee who ran against Alma Adams in 2022 and lost. Lee also showed up to protest the Charlotte International Arts Festival Drag Story Hour in 2022.

The church has platformed Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson multiple times over the last two years, with all of the senior pastors from the church

a tax-exempt status to endorse political candidates when they are running for office. Under Title 26 of the Internal Revenue Code a tax-exempt entity may not “participate in, or intervene in (including the publishing or distributing of statements), any political campaign on behalf of (or in opposition to) any candidate for public office.”

A FOIA request to the IRS on how many complaints have been made against the Freedom House Church charitable status has not been fulfilled as of the publication of this article.

A source familiar with the inner workings of the church says that, while racial undertones have always been an issue at FHC, the anti-equity squawking ramped up after the election of Donald Trump.

Since Jan. 1, 2023, Queen City Nerve tracked 130 anti-queer posts on Maxwell’s account, along

Rolling Stone magazine cited Maxwell’s hate speech in an article from 2022 after she harassed a pole-dancing fitness instructor who was entertaining a crowd with a child, showing them how to dance on the pole during a Charlotte Pride performance.

“The Bible very clearly teaches that homosexuality is a sin which is exactly why truth must be shared,” says senior pastor Stephanie Blanton in an Instagram comment.

Multiple former members of the church discussed with Queen City Nerve the manipulation in the “word of God” used to secure authority over them in the space. One former member has been in therapy trying to reconcile with how they were manipulated into pushing these extreme ideas on others.

For some, FHC was their introduction to church during a time of hardship. For others, they were looking for a new place with a congregation that looked like them. For all, the guilt left over from feelings that they manifested this hatred and the demonization of others weighs heavy. JLAFRANCOIS@QCNERVE.COM

PENNY MAXWELL INSTAGRAM

LET’S BE FRIENDLY

Friendly Like Me app advocates for accessibility at Charlotte Pride

BY RYAN PITKIN

For much of her adult life as a plus-size woman, Friendly Like Me founder Elysia Everett has been tasked with extra homework whenever she makes plans — homework that boils down to accessibility.

“As a plus-size person, if somebody asks me out on a date or somebody asks me to go to a business meeting or something like that, I’m immediately looking online, looking at the chairs, deciding if I’m going to be comfortable,” she explained.

“How crowded is it? Is it roomy enough? I’m a little bit hard of hearing. Is it going to be quiet enough for conversation?”

Somewhere around 25% of Americans deal with disabilities, a number that includes people who struggle with cognition, mobility, hearing, vision and other issues.

“When you add in, which very few people do, people of size as a population that needs access needs — which is not all people of size, but people above a certain size — that changes to one in three Americans who have an access need,” explained Everett.

That makes more than 80 million people who are regularly tasked with the type of reconnaissance that Everett described.

As a longtime accessibility advocate, Everett eventually decided to help make that homework easier with Friendly Like Me, an app she launched in April 2023 that scores local businesses in a number of markets based on how accessible and accommodating they are for people with access needs.

Having worked with three Pride events thus far over the summer — Denver, Portland and San Diego — Friendly Like Me is now launching in the Charlotte area, beginning with businesses surrounding Charlotte Pride, which will take place in Uptown on Aug. 19-20.

“These are people that care so deeply about inclusivity,” Everett said of working with Pride organizations. “They’re living their values, and it’s so aligned. And so many of these organizations, they’ve done so much groundwork and they’re really thinking about it. The Pride organizations and people going to Pride, they really care about being allies. It’s just been this amazing synchronicity.”

How Friendly Like Me works

The app works similarly to Yelp or other online review sites; the Friendly Like Me team goes in and does recon work before launching the app in a city, with a focus on accessibility and comfort for people with mobility issues and plus-size people.

Over the next month, the team will add three more communities: people with hearing impairment, vision impairment, and cognitive struggles such as autism. Following those additions, Everett said the team will be looking into ways to add COVID protocols and dietary restrictions into their reviews next.

“I felt a strong need for this for many years, and to be able to find places where plus-size people could go and be comfortable and know in advance that they would be comfortable, and that was the foundation for me wanting to build the app,” explained Everett.

“And then it did not take long from that moment before we all clearly realized that access needs went way beyond just people of size, way beyond just people with a disability, and so we began getting more and more specific and adding more communities to what we were doing.”

For now, the team has launched the app with a focus on four main issues that folks with access needs due to mobility issues or size deal with: parking and entrances, interior restroom access, seating, and comfort.

The team doesn’t just write out reviews of each business’s accessibility, but grades them on a scale that can be customized for each app user. For instance, if a Friendly Like Me user prioritizes valet parking and a low-noise atmosphere, their business ranking will be different than a user who needs bathrooms accessible to powered-wheelchairs and low-top tables.

When adding a business to their listings, the team sets up a time to chat over the phone with an owner to inquire about an in-depth list of accessibility scenarios.

“We ask them questions like, ‘Okay, your bathroom is handicap-accessible, great, do you know if that’s for regular wheelchair users or powerchair users can get in there, too? If you measure

The following accesibility tips were pulled from Friendly Like Me’s Guide to Accessibility at Charlotte Pride

BY MANUEL PORTILLO

QUESTIONS DURING THE FESTIVAL?

Feel free to approach Pride staff and volunteers with any questions or concerns you may have. You can easily identify them by their Mint Green “STAFF” or White “VOLUNTEER” shirts!

PARADE VIEWING:

For the best parade experience, head to our dedicated accessible parade viewing area next to the community stage on the corner of Tryon St. & 4th St.!

ASL:

ASL interpretation will be on the main stage. The best way to approach if you want to go to the ADA area is to come in from 4th Street.

Take a Break

Parades and festivals are … a lot! Check out these spaces to take a second to recenter yourself. When nature calls, we’ve got you covered with comfortable and accessible options:

Wells Fargo Atrium: Our friends at Wells Fargo have graciously opened their atrium space to Charlotte Pride attendees, offering ADA-compliant restrooms and gender-neutral, family-style restrooms, along with air conditioning. This is a lovely space to plan for taking a break and a moment of zen.

• Romare Bearden Park

• First Ward Park

• 7th Street Market (a place to cool off and recharge, not necessarily quiet)

• The Mint Museum

• The Harvey B. Gantt Center for African American Arts + Culture

• The Levine Center for the Arts

Restrooms

ADA-accessible porta-potties are conveniently located at the following spots:

• Main Stage

• Community Stage

• Church Street & Levine Ave

• M odd block of MLK Blvd (south, towards College St.)

• 300 block of 3rd St (south, towards College St.)

Visit tinyurl.com/FriendlyLikeMeCLT or download the Friendly Like Me app for more in-depth accessibility info about Charlotte Pride and surrounding businesses.

that, here’s the turning radius that you need to know about for a power-chair user to be able to get into that stall. So now let me ask you, do you have a family-style restroom?’” she explained. “So we spend the time confirming those kinds of things.”

Everett makes it a point not to approach business owners from an adversarial angle. Her company is called Friendly Like Me, after all.

“In addition to being pro-everyone with an access need, we are pro-business,” she explained. “I know when I start talking to businesses about

accessibility, the first place they go, ‘Is it going to be expensive? Am I compliant? Am I going to get sued?’ That’s not what we’re about.

“This is what we’re about: Tell us in advance because that’s a friendly thing to do. Just don’t let me show up for the baby shower thinking I can get in when I can’t get in. It’s just as friendly for a business to tell me, ‘You know what, no, we don’t have that,’ or ‘We have this temporary solution. If you call us in advance, we’ll pull out our temporary ramp.’ To me, that’s a friendly way to behave.”

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

Everett has found that this approach often helps uncover accommodations that potential customers wouldn’t otherwise know about at a given venue.

“Almost in every case, the business owner will say something like, ‘Yeah, but when we have wheelchair users, here’s what I do,’ and it’s some amazing accommodation like, ‘We get them right up in front of the stage and we clear the aisles and we do all this,’ but you wouldn’t know to look at the pictures on their website. So we put that right there. ‘Owners are accommodating and suggest you do the following for the best experience.’ That’s when the reviews become very valuable.”

community, you can see them posting on social media. ‘I wish I could go to Pride. I wish I could go to Pride.’”

Staff member Manny Portilla, who compiled the team’s Accessibility Guide to Charlotte Pride, came up with the idea to spend the summer working with Pride organizations nationwide.

Each event has led to new challenges. Denver Pride had already done work around accessibility, so Friendly Like Me helped to publicize that, adding info around local LGBTQ-friendly bars.

In Portland, the venue was muddy, which created major issues for accessibility that were only exacerbated after a local vendor tasked with creating accessibility maps pulled out at the last minute.

“Working with Charlotte Pride right now, they’ve actually done a lot, but publicizing it has been their issue,” Everett said. “They’ve done a tremendous amount to become accessible, an increasing amount every year, but not very good at getting the message out.”

Desiree Kane, a former Charlotte resident who has been working as a liaison between local residents and Friendly Like Me, credits longtime Charlotte Pride staffer Matt Comer, who recently left the organization, with the wealth of information her team has had to work with.

“Hearing from Liz Schob, the organizer who took Matt Comer’s place, it sounds like Matt did a lot of this accessibility background work, and we’ve heard Liz a couple of times say, ‘Matt did such a good job, I’m just building upon the work that he did,’” Kane told Queen City Nerve. “So the roots of the Charlotte Pride accessibility track originate with one of Charlotte’s longtime queer friends, Matt Comer.”

Building a community

Pride events also give the team a chance to not only begin reviewing nearby businesses but help folks with accessibility issues learn how to best access parades and festivals, which can be infamously rough for those with mobility issues or other access needs.

Friendly Like Me’s Accessibility Guide to Charlotte Pride clarifies that there will be an accessible parade viewing area next to the community stage on the corner of South Tryon and 4th streets during Sunday’s parade.

“What we know is that people with access needs are very limited in their ability to attend community festivals, right?” Everett said. “Depending on where those are held or what the crowds are like, or not knowing if there’s going to be a quiet space for you to take a break, will you be able to get a view of the parade on the street? No. So we know this from our

Following its launch during Charlotte Pride, Friendly Like Me hopes to remain a working guide for folks throughout the Charlotte area, enriching the lives of people who otherwise might stay home for any given outing.

Everett hopes that, access needs or not, people will continue to add reviews to the app with a sense of strengthening the communit — just a way of being friendly.

“What we’re saying here with the term friendly, is it friendly to people like me?” she explained. “It’s a concept that, every time I do a review, I’m sort of carrying the people in my community with me. It’s like anybody coming into Houston this week knows five more places where they can go, because I reviewed five places this week, and I didn’t do that for me because I already go there and I know where they are. I did it for the person coming behind me.”

RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM

LET ME TELL YOU A STORY

Charlotte Area Drag Story Hour promotes inclusion, diversity and literacy among local children

BY ANNIE KEOUGH

Over the past year, Queen City Nerve has delved deep into the discrimination and legislative attacks faced by the LGBTQ+ community. Drag kings, queens and other royal artists have been at the epicenter of many of these attacks, but it’s not all negativity.

For years, drag culture has brought joy to communities and provided safe spaces for people across the Charlotte area. And despite any opposition from a loudly emboldened right wing, it will only continue to do so in the years to come.

Created by Michelle Tea in 2015, Drag Story Hour encourages literacy and diversity among children through global networks of local organizational chapters.

Joshua Jernigan, lead organizer of Charlotte Area Drag Story Hour and founder of the nonprofit Gender Education Network (GEN), became swept up into the world of drag after seeing a Drag Story Hour held by the New York chapter. Jernigan’s friend, Courtney, quickly called up the organizers of what was then called Drag Queen Story Hour to license the name, and Jernigan joined Courtney to co-found Charlotte’s chapter through GEN.

In the lead-up to Charlotte Pride, Queen City Nerve spoke with Jernigan to clear up common misconceptions, spread inclusivity and share ways to support local drag artists.

Queen City Nerve: What is Drag Story Hour?

Joshua Jernigan: Drag Story Hour is basically drag kings and queens and friends who get dolled up and read affirming and inclusive books to children. Our prime age range is somewhere between 3 to 10, somewhere in that general age range because that’s where picture books are really hitting their sweet spot. Specifically with Charlotte Area Drag Story Hour, our tagline is that we promote diversity in literature through performance and drag.

We absolutely have a blast with our kings and queens to come to read to our children. They read, we do silly little kid stuff like “If You’re Happy and You Know It” or “Simon Says.” One of our readers, Shelita Bonet Hoyle, does “Shelita Says” instead of “Simon Says,” which is something that really tickles

the kids.

But we specifically read LGBTQ+ inclusive books, because we firmly believe that children need diversity in their life and they need that diverse exposure to understand different communities. And so our goal is to help kids understand and be exposed to as many different communities as possible.

It was previously called Drag Queen Story Hour. Why the name change?

When it was started way back in the day by a drag queen called Michelle Tea, she was a drag queen who was doing story hours so she called it Drag Queen Story Hour. In 2021 or 2022, Drag Queen Story Hour, as a national chapter, voted to change the name to Drag Story Hour to make it more inclusive because every chapter has kings who read for them, not just queens. And we have kings, queens and non-binary readers. Inclusion is one of the tenants of Drag Story Hour so we felt like it was really important that we do that as well.

There has been a lot of misinformation over the last year about the motives of Drag Story Hours from bad faith actors on the right. Could you tell me the stated goal of DSH?

The goal is just people who dress up and read to kids. It’s no different than any other dress-up character reading to kids. The goal is just to promote diversity and literature. We read all sorts of books. They aren’t just LGBTQ books. They aren’t just books about drag queens. They aren’t just books about the LGBTQ community. We read race books, we read silly books that have nothing to do with anything.

One of our most requested books is the book called Don’t Read This Book, and it has nothing to do with anything other than this little dot saying “Don’t read this book!” and doing silly things like making fart noises. Like, that’s not community specific to any one community, except for children.

Conservatives seem to think that we’re out there performing songs and all of that fun stuff and that’s not what’s happening.

What’s the best part about working with drag performers, and those who work with kids specifically?

The creativity. Our kings and queens are some of the most creative individuals I have ever met. I am not a drag queen. I make a very horrible woman. So I’m an organizer and I thought that I was moderately creative and then I started working with drag queens and drag kings and they blew me off the water. The things that they come up with and the fun ways that they interpret stories and read them to the kids, it’s just absolutely fascinating.

her and say “I’m putting one together for this date, whatcha got?” and she can, most of the time, work it out.

But other than that, we run one king and one other queen pretty regularly. And we kind of have a rotating crop of people who would like to give it a try. And so they come and they read for us and some of them stick around and some of them realize that this really isn’t what they want to do and so they move on to other things. So I think we’ve had up to 10 different kings and queens read for us over the last few years.

A lot of our kings and queens, their day jobs are working with kids. They work in preschool or daycare or something of that nature. So they have Educational Credential Evaluators (ECE) degrees and things like that where their job is working with kids and then they bring their drag persona into it at our story hours. And they are just some of the most amazing individuals that I’ve ever worked with.

Not all of our kings and queens [work with kids for a living], but some of our more popular ones absolutely work with kids for a living and you can see that in their passion for what they do when they bring a story to life.

How many kings and queens do you work with?

So we run on a rotating system. We have one main queen; Shelita Bonet Hoyle has been our queen since the beginning. She was our first reader, and she has stuck with us all the way through today. She lives in Raleigh now unfortunately, but I can call

How do you and your performers handle all the hate you receive, especially as of late?

We’re big fans of ignore, ignore, ignore. It’s not always the best way to do it. I try to insulate my readers from a lot of things. I don’t want them to see a lot of the hate that we get, because they’re there for the kids to have fun. My job as the organizer is kind of to take that heat and put it where it needs to go. So the ones that need to be reported, we report, the ones that we can ignore, we ignore. If I felt there was a reason to reach out to my readers about something specific, I would. We’ve had that happen before where they’ve threatened a very specific reader and so I’ve, unfortunately, had to have that very uncomfortable conversation of “Hey, we got this threat in your name” type thing.

But for the most part, we just ignore it because they’re not our business. We don’t really care. Our business is making these fun, amazing, safe spaces for kids to come and be exposed to diversity and

COURTESY OF JOSHUA JERNIGAN A DRAG QUEEN READS TO CHILDREN.

ARTS

have fun. The kids don’t have to worry about it. So I try to keep everybody a little insulated from it.

As an organizer, do you worry about your readers and their safety?

We do. We work with several different groups around the Charlotte area to help us run security. We have very vast, expansive security protocols that we as an organization follow. So we have all of the things in place that we need to make sure that our readers are safe and, knock on wood, our readers have always been safe and it’s because we put as much work into the forefront as we can.

Why is it important to continue holding these events despite protests, anti-drag bills and targeted attacks?

Because people want it, people love it. Our shows sell out — and I say sell out, they’re free — but you do have to sign up, that’s one of our safety measures. Our shows sell out within 24 hours of posting them. We’ve had shows that have sold out in an hour. People want these events so we try to put

on as many as we can. And it’s not always easy. We do have venues cancel on us because of the heat that they end up receiving from the protesters.

But you know we have a few very solid venues who work with us over and over and over again and we are so appreciative of them. And so we push through because there’s a need and want for it.

Have you seen the kindness that story hours promote come out in the children and adults that attend?

Absolutely. The families who come to our shows are some of the nicest people you will ever meet. They are nice to each other. They’re nice out in the world. We have seen them out in the wild, not at shows, and they’ve recognized my family and they have come up and struck up a conversation or come up and made a comment about something and it’s just always so kind.

One of our major tenants is also kindness and I think that the families that come to our shows reflect that very well.

How can people support drag queens and Drag Story Hour right now?

One of the biggest ways is to follow us on social media and we shout out our different kings and queens and their events that they’re doing outside of story hours. It is only me, unfortunately, running this so I miss some things.

Also, get involved. Find a local spot that’s hosting drag and go. Not all drag is kid-friendly drag and that should be recognized. So make sure that you check in with the venue because some venues are 18+ or 21+. Some are familyfriendly. It just really depends on what they’re wanting to promote within their venue.

And so one of the biggest things you can do is just find your local drag and go out there. And if you want to

support Story Hour follow us on social media, reach out to us, come to our shows and share our events. That is the number one way because a lot of drag is known by word of mouth. If you go on Instagram or Facebook or any social media and you share drag events, that is one of the best ways you can help because the more people it reaches, the more people who are going to come to shows.

Are there any upcoming events that you’re excited about?

We have a couple that we haven’t announced, unfortunately. We don’t announce anything except for two weeks before our shows. And we do that as a safety measure. Watching our Facebook page and our Instagram page are the two of the best ways to find our announcements. Because two weeks before a show, I put everything up, there’s a signup sheet, there’s who’s performing, what they’re performing. It gives you all the details and ways to contact us should you need to get in touch with us for any questions.

But I can tell you that we do have some coming up in September and we do have some coming up in October and we have a huge one coming up in December. That’s as detailed as I can get right now. Just because it is a safety issue. We do have to be mindful of how long we have that information out there because the longer it’s out there, unfortunately, the more people will start staging protests and that’s just unsafe. But, yeah, we do have events coming up and if you watch our Facebook page, our Instagram page, that’s where we’re dropping all those announcements.

Even if the event says that it’s full, if you reach out to us sometimes we have extra spots, especially for people who’ve never been to an event before, and we love to invite people out. So we fill up but if it does stay full, people can reach out to us and we can see what we can do. There have even been times when we’ve had an event full but people reaching out who could do it the next weekend and we have put together an event just for them that next weekend. Because we’ve tried to be as accommodating as we possibly can. And our venues are awesome.

What are your plans for Charlotte Pride weekend?

We will have readers there on both Saturday and Sunday. I think we’re up to six readers right now. But we will have readers on Saturday and Sunday that will all be posted on the Charlotte Pride website. We will also post it on our Facebook and Instagram

once we get the time solidified, but we will have at least two readers every day and I think we have three right now on Sunday and three on Saturday. So we are trying to get more readers but that’s something that we can announce because that’s been announced by Charlotte Pride.

Is there anything else that we haven’t discussed that you think is important to mention?

I think the biggest thing is just making sure that we focus on the positivity of all of this. A lot of things are written about the negativity. Let’s focus on what we’re doing, not who’s trying to shut us down. If I could do anything in the whole wide world: Yes, we have to be mindful of what negativity is happening but we can also celebrate the positivity, especially with Charlotte Pride coming up.

Drag Story Hour Charlotte is on Facebook at CharlotteDSH and Instagram at @charlotteareadsh.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

COURTESY OF JOSHUA JERNIGAN

JOSHUA JERNIGAN (RIGHT) WITH HIS HUSBAND

BOP AROUND THE BLOCK

Bop Around the Block is a monthly themed open air market that showcases crafters, artisans and creatives. It was founded in late 2020 by local small business owner DeAnna Allen in an attempt to create a unique shopping experience for small business owners with storefronts as well as local pop-ups. As the event continued to grow, DeAnna joined forces with fellow small business owner Jekia Benson to expand the offerings and help even more local businesses market themselves and share their brands. Bop Around the Block, originally held in South End, recently found a new home in NoDa’s Urban District Market, Charlotte’s newest food hall food hall located in the Lintmen’s building.

More: Free; Aug. 11, 6-10 p.m.; Urban District Market, 2315 N. Davidson St.; boparoundtheblock.com

TOP BILLIN’ OPEN MIC

Hosted by Jah Freedom’s Freaquency360 family members FLLS and Freezy, Top Billin’ invites singersongwriters, poets, beatmakers, rappers and comedians to test new material, showcase their skills and cultivate community in the company of some of Charlotte’s most talented creatives every second and fourth Wednesday. What sets this open mic apart from others around the Queen City is the cypher that closes things out, allowing you to join any other lyricists in attendance for an electrifying freestyle session. There are often special guests and live performances that you don’t even see coming, but are promised to be memorable.

More: Free; Aug. 9, 7-10 p.m.; Tip Top Daily Market, 2902 The Plaza; tinyurl.com/TopBillinOpenMic

GEORGE CLINTON & PARLIAMENT FUNKADELIC

With a flair for the dramatic — like the massive mothership prop that closed late-1970s Funkadelic shows or the strutting Brides of Funkenstein, a female Afrofuturist funk-soul band he spun off from Parliament — George Clinton is a showman extraordinaire. Too often Clinton’s dazzle blinded critics to his musical genius, which fused playful R&B with gutbucket booty-shaking funk, rampaging psych-rock and alliterative ear-worming wordplay that foretold hip-hop and rap. The mothership set piece found a home in the Smithsonian, and Kannapolis native Clinton belongs with John Coltrane and Nina Simone in the North Carolina musical pantheon.

More: $45; Aug. 10, 8 p.m.; Fillmore, 820 Hamilton St.; fillmorenc.com

OUTSIDE EXHIBIT OPENING RECEPTION

For this exhibit, which will be on display at Charlotte Art League through Sept. 1, artists at the north Charlotte studio were asked to, “Get Outside and celebrate the natural world. From the tiniest creatures to the grandest landscapes, bring your flora and fauna feels for nature to life in work that brings the ‘outside’ into your work.” If you’ve been doom-scrolling all week, attending an art show about nature is just as good as touching grass IRL — and less likely to result in heat stroke. Meet with participating artists like Santvana Jain, a mixed-medium artist that works with oil, watercolor, acrylic, mosaic and texture.

More: Free; Aug. 11, 6-9 p.m.; Charlotte Art League, 4237 Raleigh St.; charlotteartleague.org

QUEEN CITY ANIME CON

Taking place over three days, Charlotte’s premier anime convention focuses on celebrating fandom and LBGTQ+ culture through engaging performances, cosplay and community experiences. Highlights include an Idol Fest, rave, cosplay contest, vendors, artist alley, arcade, tabletop games and appearances by anime voice actors and cosplay creators. As far as performances go, there’s Korean pop dance cover group R3V3AL; Cirque du Cosplay, a Charlotte-based group that takes cosplay-inspired acts into the air; the Flamingo Revue burlesque troupe; traditional Japanese taiko drumming by Triangle Taiko; and a drag show by The Vanity House, among others.

More: $25 and up; Aug. 11-13; Sheraton Charlotte Hotel, 555 S. McDowell St.; queencityanimecon.com

THRIFT SHOP CRAWL

Celebrate National Thrift Shop Day by hopping on Goodwill’s Thrift Bus to hunt for treasure at three Goodwill locations. The crawl begins at the Ballantyne-East store, where shoppers get exclusive access to shop before it opens, then shoppers are transported to the Ballantyne and Pineville stores. In addition to giveaways and a 10% discount, shoppers also get entry into a VIP area with refreshments and photo ops, and thrifting tips from fashion insider and wardrobe stylist Stacee Michelle; content creator and thrifter Latrice James; and Goodwill University graduate and avid shopper Kiyosha Jones.

More: $20; Aug. 12, 9 a.m.-12:30 p.m.; Goodwill Ballantyne-East, 8622 Camfield St.; tinyurl.com/ ThriftShopCrawl

GEORGE CLINTON

Photo by Joe Van 8/10

TUES, THURS, SUN 8/15, 17, 20

Rachel Hiemer, founder of Rachel Hiemer Studio, is a local printmaker and illustrator who specializes in linocut block printing, the process of hand-carving a design on linoleum then burnishing ink onto paper to reveal the design. Whether that means everything or nothing to you, any interested party regardless of skill level is invited to join this workshop, which includes a demo on how to hone in your printing technique followed by an individualized textile printing session. Each participant will choose between a tea towel or bandana to create their own pattern using a variety of colored inks, so dress accordingly (you will get inky).

More: $40; Aug. 13, 3-4 p.m.; Divine Barrel Brewing, 3701 N. Davidson St.; tinyurl.com/LinocutBlock

8/19 8/13

HYPERLOOPS, BHAVA, COUNCIL RING, WET BASEMENT PROJECT

Bart’s Mart hosts a robust rock bill that flirts with cosmic psychedelia, earnest confessional pop, and intricate guitar-based arrangements. On “Catching Eyes” from Council Ring’s debut EP Beyond The Door, the Charlotte five-piece delivers slinky tension-filled singer-songwriter rock where Ty Mattox’s watchspring precision guitar circles vocalist Chris Jan, who sounds like he’s barely keeping his passions under wraps. Wilmington psych-garage three-piece Hyperloops support, along with Charlotte spaceemo-gaze outfit Bhava and Queen City art-rockers Wet Basement Project, a band that displays a firm grasp of shape-shifting dynamics and emotional authenticity.

More: $7-$10; Aug. 18, 7 p.m.; Bart’s Mart, 3042 Eastway Drive; facebook.com/Bartsmart.clt

‘VANISHING POINT’

Independent Picture House’s Wanderers of the Lost Highway series showcases artistically daring films from the 1970s, during which the Hollywood vibe tended to be existential, uncompromising and narcotic. Directed by Richard C. Sarafian and starring Barry Newman, Cleavon Little and Dean Jagger, cult classic Vanishing Point (1971) centers a disaffected former police officer and race car driver delivering a muscle car cross-country to California while high on speed, while of course being chased by police and any number of other adversaries. Though it was released to lukewarm reviews, the film is one of Steven Spielberg’s all-time favorites and served as inspiration for contemporary flicks like Deathproof and Baby Driver

More: $8; Aug. 15, 17 & 20, times vary; Independent Picture House, 4237 Raleigh St.; independentpicturehouse.org

MODERN ALIBI, CIGARETTES & SUNSET

With dynamic songwriting that evokes 2000s altrockers like The Editors, Modern Alibi build their debut single “Seventies” on driving and dueling melodic guitars and founder/frontman Holden Scott’s nervy, literate and vulnerable wordplay. On the foursome’s latest swaggering single “Silver Spoon,” Berklee College of Music alumni Scott evokes the urban drawl of The Strokes’ Julian Casablancas as he unfurls rapid-fire couplets: “I’m telling you/ She shines like stars but has a dark side like the moon...” Distinctive Banner Elk quintet Cigarettes & Sunset combine grinding yet catchy alt-rock with winding fiddle.

More: $12-$22; Aug. 19, 8 p.m.; Neighborhood Theatre, 511 E. 36th St.; neighborhoodtheatre.com

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 9

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Black Flag (Amos’ Southend)

Overgrown Throne w/ Overturn, Dollhaver, Jiu-Jitsu (The Milestone)

Foreigner (PNC Music Pavilion)

Super City w/ Family Video, ¿Watches? (Snug Harbor)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Shindig! ‘50s and ‘60s Dance Party (Tommy’s Pub)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Kyle Dills (Goldie’s)

OPEN MIC

Tosco Music Open Mic (Evening Muse)

Singer/Songwriter Open Mic (The Rooster)

THURSDAY, AUGUST 10

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Kamikaze Zombie w/ Night Attack, Dr. Blood’s Orgy of Gore, Nox Eternus (The Milestone)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

VESS w/ Courtney Puckett, Big Break (Evening Muse) Mirror Games (Goldie’s)

The Mother Superior w/ Gamine, Quinn Rash, DJ Spider (Snug Harbor)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Lyle Lovett & His Large Band (Knight Theater)

The Gibson Brothers (Queen City Nerve)

A Racist (PNC Music Pavilion)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Hager (Comet Grill)

Parliament Funkadelics feat. George Clinton (The Fillmore)

Shana Blake’s Musical Menagerie (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

JAZZ/BLUES

Queen Cree (Middle C Jazz)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Songwriter Roundtable (The Rooster)

FRIDAY, AUGUST 11

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Swim in the Wild (Camp North End)

The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill)

Crenshaw Pentecostal w/ Heffner, Hillmouse (Petra’s)

Gov’t Mule (PNC Music Pavilion)

Sam Holt Band (Visulite Theatre)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Toosii (The Fillmore)

Alan Charmer w/ Te’jani, Cam Cokas (Snug Harbor)

Ape Audio Presents Discull, Velle, Joneses, Resident Menace (Starlight on 22nd)

JAZZ/BLUES

Adrian Crutchfield (Booth Playhouse)

Bob Baldwin & Friends (Middle C Jazz)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Mary Chapin Carpenter (Knight Theater)

Secret Formula Band w/ The East Wing (Evening Muse)

LIVE MUSIC IN CHARLOTTE

AUGUST 9 -22

MONDAY, AUGUST 14

JAZZ/BLUES

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s)

OPEN MIC

Find Your Muse Open Mic feat. Cuchulain (Evening Muse)

TUESDAY, AUGUST 15

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Thirsty Horses (Goldie’s)

GRL Power Dance Party (The Milestone)

Palmetto Drive (The Rooster)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Johnny Dinosaur (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Koazak System (Amos’ Southend)

SATURDAY, AUGUST 12

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Excide w/ Dull Mourning, Navtec, Cursejar (The Milestone)

Fault Union (The Rooster)

DaiKaiju w/ w/ Cor de Lux, Harriers of Discord (Snug Harbor)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Swansgate w/ Lil Skritt, Celeste Moonchild (Evening Muse)

Death Grips (The Fillmore)

JAZZ/BLUES

The Relics (Comet Grill)

Bob Baldwin & Friends (Middle C Jazz)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

The Shootouts w/ Wes & The Railroaders, Jason Moss & The Hosses (Petra’s)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

K-Pop Club Night (The Underground)

RÜFÜS DU SOL (PNC Music Pavilion)

Space Lazers (Starlight on 22nd)

Reflexions Dark Wave (Tommy’s Pub)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Heroes At Last (Goldie’s)

Matt Walsh (Primal Brewery)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Marca MP (Ovens Auditoirum)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Cravin’ Melon (Neighborhood Theatre)

COVER BANDS

Nectar (Phish tribute) (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

JGBCB (Jerry Garcia tribute) (Visulite Theatre)

SUNDAY, AUGUST

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

13

Steve Stoeckel Band w/ Randy Franklin & The Sardines (Evening Muse)

The Dev w/ Backhand Blue, Dovecage, Her Majesty (The Milestone)

Bay Ledges w/ Mishegas (Neighborhood Theatre)

Self-Made Monsters w/ But, Pyrite, Helfire 76, The Ruff’tons (The Rooster)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Ruger (The Underground)

JAZZ/BLUES

Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill)

Cannonball Adderley (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Pentatonix (PNC Music Pavilion)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Bill Porter (Goldie’s)

Eric Steven Chesson (Primal Brewery)

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Red Rocking Chair (Comet Grill)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Tyler Childers (Skyla Amphitheatre)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Brent Cates (Goldie’s)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Cosmic Jam Session (Crown Station)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night w/ The Smokin’ Js (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 16

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Gareth Asher (Evening Muse)

Jiu-Jitsu w/ Momophobia, Blankstate., Between Two Trees (The Milestone)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

50 Cent (PNC Music Pavilion)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Tyler Childers (Skyla Amphitheatre)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

DOMii w/ Matt Dees, NA$A (Snug Harbor)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

U-Phonik (Goldie’s)

OPEN MIC

Singer/Songwriter Open Mic (The Rooster)

COVER BANDS

Capt. Mike & the Shipwrecked (Jimmy Buffet tribute) (Middle C Jazz)

THURSDAY, AUGUST 17

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Tom Keifer (The Underground)

Kenmujo w/ Wastoid, Ink Swell, True Lilith (The Milestone) Nordista Freeze w/ Crumbsnatchers, Featherpocket (Petra’s)

Makes My Blood Dance (The Rooster)

JAZZ/BLUES

Sol Fusion (Middle C Jazz)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Shana Blake’s Musical Menagerie (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

ACOUSTIC/SINGER-SONGWRITER

Ben Mignogna (Comet Grill)

Lisa De Novo (Goldie’s)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

SHIPROCKED! Pride Party (Snug Harbor)

Maic City Hippies w/ Pink Skies (Visulite Theatre)

FRIDAY, AUGUST 18

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

To Begin Anew w/ Forever May, Fall Scars Remain (Amos’ Southend)

The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill)

Ruen Brothers w/ The Young Fables (Evening Muse)

Evergone w/ Thousand Dollar Car (Evening Muse)

Ocean Alley (The Underground)

Chasing Phoenix (Goldie’s)

Harm w/ Violent Life Violent Death, Heirloom, Parris Bridge (The Milestone)

The Business People w/ Noir Noir, The Phantom Friends (Petra’s)

The Offspring w/ Simple Plan, Sum 41 (PNC Music Pavilion)

The Menders w/ The Half Measures, Jade Moore (The Rooster)

Hey RICHARD! (Starlight on 22nd)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Arkansauce w/ Fox ‘n Vead (Camp North End)

JAZZ/BLUES

The Jazz Room: Piano Night (Stage Door Theater)

Jazz Funk Soul (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Scream Tour 2023 (Bojangles Coliseum)

Mia Gladstone w/ Babe Haven, Women’s National Hockey League (Snug Harbor)

MIXED GENRE/EXPERIMENTAL

The Universe Within (Booth Playhouse)

ACOUSTIC/SINGER-SONGWRITER

Neal Carter (Birdsong Brewing)

Val Merza w/ Deore, Katie Alling (Tommy’s Pub)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

The Delerium Trio (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

SATURDAY, AUGUST 19

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Modern Alibi w/ Cigarettes @ Sunset (Neighborhood Theatre)

Below 7 w/ Oh! You Pretty Things, Abrevity, Avenue Lane (The Rooster)

JAZZ/BLUES

The Jazz Room: Piano Night (Stage Door Theater)

Eric Essix (Middle C Jazz)

Jonathan Scales Fourchestra (Petra’s)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Jill Andrews w/ Little Hopes (Evening Muse)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Orchestra Noir: Y2K Meets ‘90s Vibe (Knight Theater)

That’s My Jam (Booth Playhouse)

Digital Noir feat. DJ Spyder (The Milestone)

2500 Jackson Street (Starlight on 22nd)

ACOUSTIC/SINGER-SONGWRITER

Kimberly Underwood (Primal Brewery)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Crown Town Getdown (Comet Grill)

The Mike Strauss Band (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

COVER BANDS

Pinkest Floyd (Amos’ Southend)

Jam Garden (Goldie’s)

Cosmic Charlie (Grateful Dead tribute) (Visulite Theatre)

SUNDAY, AUGUST 20

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Colin Cutler Band (The Rooster)

Cedric Bowler (Visulite Theatre)

JAZZ/BLUES

Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill)

Lovell Bradford Quartet (Middle C Jazz)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Brandon Davidson (Goldie’s)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Matute (Ovens Auditorium)

Hazy Sunday (Petra’s)

GOSPEL/CHRISTIAN/RELIGIOUS

Mike Kalambay (Knight Theater)

MONDAY, AUGUST 21

JAZZ/BLUES

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s)

OPEN MIC

Find Your Muse Open Mic feat. Funky Geezer (Evening Muse)

TUESDAY, AUGUST 22

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Red Rocking Chair (Comet Grill)

The Smashing Pumpkins (PNC Music Pavilion)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

AJJ w/ Open Mike Eagle, Sad Park, Foot Ox (Neighborhood Theatre)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Tropa Magica w/ Seismic Sutra (Snug Harbor)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Cosmic Jam Session (Crown Station)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

JVKE (The Fillmore)

Leisure McCorkle (Goldie’s)

Lost Cargo Six Year Anniversary (Petra’s)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night w/ The Smokin’ Js (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

VISIT QCNERVE.COM FOR THE FULL SOUNDWAVE LISTING.

A GUIDE TO CHARLOTTE PRIDE 2023

When the Charlotte Pride Festival and Parade returns to Uptown Aug. 19-20, it will be with a momentum unlike any other after last year saw a record-breaking 275,000 attendees.

The annual event celebrates LGBTQ+ inclusivity and pays tribute to more than 50 years of LGBTQ liberation, 20-plus years of Charlotte Pride and more than 40 years of Pride legacy in the Queen City, counting for the underground organizations that preceded Charlotte Pride’s founding in 2021.

That’s plenty to be proud of.

The 2023 festivities kick off during Charlotte Pride Week, Aug. 11-18, with dozens of events leading up to the festival on Aug. 19 and 20, and a parade on Aug. 20. Charlotte Pride’s weekend-long cultural festival includes a variety of national, regional and local entertainers, musicians, bands, LGBTQ resources and vendors including art exhibits, local nonprofits, retailers, a food court and more.

We’ve put together a guide for navigating all that Charlotte Pride has to offer, plus over 30 additional Pride-related events happening at venues across the city.

Stay safe and happy Pride!

Charlotte Pride Festival & Parade

Youth & Family Zone

A family-friendly space with arts and crafts, community resources, a family care tent and special speakers and entertainers, including a drag queen story hour. The Youth & Family Zone is on private property and designed only for young people under 21 and their family/parents/legal guardians.

More: Aug. 19 & 20, Noon-6 p.m.; The Green, 425 S. Tryon St.

Health Fair

Attendees can check up on their personal health and wellness, get an HIV test, visit with wellness vendors and more.

More: Aug. 19 & 20, Noon-10 p.m. & Noon-6 p.m.; South Tryon Street

Flourish: A Celebration of LGBTQ Arts & Culture

A mini arts festival inside the Wells Fargo Atrium featuring LGBTQ performing, visual and spokenword artists as well as LGBTQ short films.

More: Aug. 19, 1-6 p.m.; Wells Fargo Atrium, 401 S. Tryon St.

Charlotte Pride Drag Pageant

For the first time, watch at the festival as local drag performers compete for the crowns of Mx. Charlotte Pride, Ms. Charlotte Pride and Mr. Charlotte Pride.

More: Aug. 19, 2-6 p.m.; Charlotte Pride Community Stage, intersection of 4th & Tryon Streets

Charlotte Gaymers Stage

The Charlotte Gaymers Network showcases a lineup of up-and-coming DJs, with sets from DJ Sweetee, DJ SK8ER G8ER and more, plus a variety of drag performers and a gaming activation next to the stage.

More: Aug. 19 & 20, Noon-9 p.m. & Noon-5 p.m.; Levine Avenue of the Arts

Neighborhood Market

A market, presented by the Arts & Science Council, where local artists, artisans, craftspeople and makers sell their wares.

More: Aug. 19 & 20, Noon-10 p.m. & Noon-6 p.m.; Levine Avenue of the Arts

Charlotte Pride Parade

Dozens of floats and thousands of marchers make their way down a rainbow-filled Tryon Street during Charlotte’s largest annual parade.

More: Aug. 20, 1-4 p.m.; North Tryon Street

COURTESY OF CHARLOTTE PRIDE

OTHER EVENTS

Pride Game Night

Kicking off Charlotte Pride Week with a night of family-friendly trivia with hosts Onya Nerves and Liam Laughin.

More: Free; Aug. 11, 6 p.m.; Sip City, 917 Central Ave.; tinyurl.com/SipCityPride

Beers for Equality

A night that combines Beers 4 Equality, a drag show and bingo, organized by LGBTQ advocacy group Human Rights Campaign (HRC) North Carolina. Tickets include a Beers 4 Equality beer glass, your first beer free, an HRC membership or renewal, and entrance to bingo and the drag show starring Karen Affection and her drag queen friends. NoDa Brewing is also donating 50 cents of every beer sale back to HRC North Carolina.

More: $35; Aug. 11, 6 p.m.; NoDa Brewing Company - North End location, 150 W. 32nd St.; tinyurl.com/ HRCBeersForEquality

Buff Faye’s “PUMP UP THE JAM” Drag Brunch

Charlotte’s longest-running drag brunch. Ticket does not include food or drinks.

More: $20-$75; Aug. 12, 11 a.m.; Midtown Tavern, 1500 E. 3rd St.; allbuff.com

Loud & Proud - Charity Drag Brunch

Get loud and proud during brunch at The Artisan’s Palate while raising money for Charlotte Pride. Drag performers include Jayla Serena Mitchell, Valarie Rockwell, Tia Douglas and Angela Lopez.

More: $23; Aug. 12, 11:30 a.m. & 2 p.m.; The Artisan’s Palate, 1218 E. 36th St.; tinyurl.com/ LoudProudBrunch

Pride Kick Off Party

A party hosted by DKO Entertainment and Protagonist Beer at their LoSo location to celebrate Charlotte Pride Week, featuring drag performances by Onya Nerves, Lolita Chanel, Marty McGuy, Mania

Mua and Liam Laughin.

More: Free; Aug. 12, 9-11 p.m.; Protagonist BeerLoSo, 227 Southside Drive; protagonistbeer.com

Pride Kickoff Dance Wave

A dance party at Bar Argon to get Pride off on the right foot.

More: Free; Aug. 12, 10 p.m.; Bar Argon, 4544 South Blvd., Suite H; tinyurl.com/PrideDanceWave

Seedling Brunch

Plant Joy hosts what they’re billing as Charlotte’s first vegan drag brunch with the help of entertainers Onya Nerves, Druzilla La Fae, Blaze O’Glory, Giovonni Diamond and Sunny Dior. Food and drinks are an additional cost.

More: Free; Aug. 13, 11 a.m.-2 p.m.; Plant Joy, 1801 N. Graham St.; tinyurl.com/SeedlingBrunch

Pride Poster Night

Make posters for the Charlotte Pride Parade and freshen up your volunteer tabling skills in partnership with PFLAG Charlotte and The Lotus Project. Pizza, salad and refreshments will be provided. Advance registration is required.

More: Free; Aug. 14, 6:30 p.m.; Time Out Youth, 3800 Monroe Road; tinyurl.com/PridePosterNight

Charlotte Thrives: Queer Storytelling Event

Local queer storytellers share their stories to help us understand others and ourselves.

More: $10; Aug. 16, 7:30 p.m.; Free Range Brewing, 2320 N. Davidson St.; tinyurl.com/ FreeRangeQueerStorytelling

Out in Tech Charlotte: Pride Mixer

Network with LGBTQ+ tech leaders on the 33rd floor of the Bank of America Tower in Uptown while enjoying beverages and heavy apps. It’s suggested that attendees wear business casual or smart casual attire with a summer flair.

More: Free; Aug. 17, 5-8 p.m.; Bank of America Tower, 33rd floor, 620 S. Tryon St.; tinyurl.com/ OutInTechPrideMixer

Pride Trivia Night

BOOM Charlotte’s own Jelly Clarkson hosts a night of trivia and Pride-filled festivities at Weathered Souls Brewing in South End. A dollar from every beer sale will be donated to BOOM Charlotte.

More: Free; Aug. 17, 6-9 p.m.; Weathered Souls Charlotte, 255 Clanton Road; tinyurl.com/ WeatheredSoulsPrideTrivia

Overcast X Escapades Pride After-Party

A Pride after-party like no other, where attendees are encouraged to liberate themselves and explore their wilder side. Hosted at a secret location less than 15 minutes north of NoDa (address will be sent with ticket purchase), this party promises eyecatching model dancers, dark corners, warm bodies and lots of dancing. The dress code is anything goes, or you can pay $5 to check your clothes altogether.

More: $20 and up; Aug. 18 & 19, 2-6 a.m.; Secret location; overcastclt.com/tickets/p/pride

Drastic Dykes and Accidental Activists: Queer Women in the Urban South

La Shonda Mims talks about her book, Drastic Dykes and Accidental Activists: Queer Women in the Urban South, which examines lesbian life in Atlanta and Charlotte.

More: Free; Aug. 18, 4-6 p.m.; Dubois Center at UNC Charlotte Center City, 320 E. 9th St.; tinyurl.com/ Drastic-Dykes

The Queen City Renaissance Mixer

A mixer themed after Beyoncé’s album, Renaissance, celebrating queer BIPOC in the Queen City. The event, organized by Prism Social CLT, includes prizes for best dressed, raffles, special performances and live music by DJBSanddd.

More: $7; Aug. 13, 3-6 p.m.; The Market at 7th Street, 224 E. 7th St.; tinyurl.com/RenaissanceMixer

Robyn & Charlotte’s Hair-aoke at Petra’s

Drag duo and real-life sisters Robyn O’Ladies and Charlotte Douglas are hosting a night full of wigs, karaoke, performances, lip-sync battles, music and more. Door proceeds benefit Equality North Carolina.

More: $5; Aug. 16, 8 p.m.; Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave.; petrasbar.com

Pride Pre-Party at Wooden Robot

Live music by DJ SeeBirdGo, an LGBTQ+ vendor market and a rooftop drag show hosted by Onya Nerves with performances by Oso Chanel, Marceline Mashic, Faith n Mae, RC Cola and Liam Laughin.

More: $15 for drag show; Aug. 18, 6-10:30 p.m.; The Chamber by Wooden Robot, 416 E. 36th St.; tinyurl. com/WoodenRobotDragShow

COURTESY OF CHARLOTTE PRIDE VOLUNTEERS FROM ATRIUM HEALTH AND CHARLOTTE GAYMERS NETWORK IN 2022.

Starlight’s Pre-Pride Extravaganza

Join the Charlotte Royals — Charlotte’s LGBTQIA+ and inclusive rugby club — at Starlight for a night of music by Hey RICHARD!, dancing, beer, prizes and raffle items from NoDa Brewing Co., Wicked Weed, Carolina Premium and others. Proceeds directly benefit the rugby team.

More: $5 suggested donation; Aug. 18, 7:30 p.m.; Starlight on 22nd, 422 E. 22nd St.; tinyurl.com/ StarlightRoyals

Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte Presents: PROUD

A choral concert by Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte featuring songs like “Shalom” by Dan Forrest, “Proud” by Heather Small (from the TV show Queer as Folk), “A Patch of Light” by Jacob Narverud, and “Does the World Say?” by Kyle Pederson.

More: $10 and up; Free; Aug. 18, 7:30 p.m.; St. Martin’s Episcopal Church, 1510 E. 7th St.; gmccharlotte.org/proud

Pride Kickoff & Barn Dance at Chasers

A barn dance at Chasers hosted by Southern Country Charlotte featuring country music, two-stepping, line dancing, and drink specials with music by the BearCowboy.

More: $5; Aug. 18, 8 p.m.; Chasers, 3217 The Plaza; phoenixbarclt.com

CLT Sapphic Pride Weekend Kickoff

Kick off Pride with the womxn who love womxn at this event by Lesbian Friends of Charlotte. The night includes a RuPaul’s Drag Race viewing and a DJ that starts at 10 p.m.

More: Free; Aug. 18, 8 p.m.; Bar Argon, 4544 South Blvd., Suite H; tinyurl.com/CLTSapphicPrideKickoff

Girls Room Pride ft. J. Worra

A party featuring music by DJs J. Worra, DOMii, snshne and SeeBirdGo. Girls Room Charlotte parties are curated by queer women to spotlight women, non-binary people and minorities in music and art.

More: $20 and up; Aug. 18, 9 p.m.; Black Box Theater, 421 E. Sugar Creek Road; tinyurl.com/ GirlsRoomPrideJWorra

The Vanity House Pride Fest: Friday Night Party

The same show you know and love with The Vanity House Divas just turned up a notch with rotating DJs, guest performers, body painters, photo opportunities and more.

More: $20 and up; Aug. 18, 10 p.m.; Ink N Ivy, 222 S. Church St.; tinyurl.com/VanityHousePrideFest

The Vanity House Pride Fest: Drag Brunch

Pop bottles and celebrate Pride with The Vanity House for a one-of-a-kind drag brunch — buffet included. After the show, mix, mingle and take photos with the queens.

More: $40; Aug. 19, 11 a.m.; Ink N Ivy, 222 S. Church St.; tinyurl.com/VanityHousePrideFestBrunch

The Dancing Queens: Pride Fest Day Party

An electronic mini-festival with an all-female DJ lineup — KAKIES, KAMIGO, BAYSS, XIAMOR, TZNT, and DGTL DIVA — spinning house, disco, nudisco, UKG (UK garage) and ‘70s classics. The event includes food trucks, vendors, live art and a special performance by Queen City Shufflers.

More: $15 and up; Aug. 19, 4-10 p.m.; Victoria Yards, 209 E. 7th St.; thedancingqueens.eventbrite.com

Girls Room Pride Festival

An immersive experience created by Girls Room Charlotte that celebrates diversity by bringing together the local LGBTQ community. The event features DJ sets, performers, vendors and more. More: $10 and up; Aug. 19, 5-11 p.m.; The Music Yard at SouthBound, 2433 South Blvd.; tinyurl.com/ GirlsRoomPrideFest

early 2000s songs and then anything goes (including Hartigan’s throwbacks and current hits). Ticket sales benefit local nonprofit Hearts United for Good.

More: $25-$45; Aug. 19, 7 p.m.; Resident Culture - South End, 332 W. Bland St., Suite C; tinyurl.com/ BackToHartigansPrideParty

‘Hit the Wall’

QC Concerts performs Hit the Wall, a play by Ike Holter that relives the Stonewall riots in Lower Manhattan in 1969 accompanied by a live rock ‘n’ roll band.

More: $22; Aug. 19 & 20, 7:30 p.m.; The Arts Factory at West End Studios, 1545 W. Trade St.; qcconcerts. com/hit-the-wall

The Vanity House Pride Fest

Featuring Detox

Party with Rupaul’s Drag Race fan favorite Detox and the Vanity Divas.

More: $28 and up; Aug. 19, 9 p.m.; Ink N Ivy, 222 S. Church St.; tinyurl.com/VanityHousePrideFestDetox

WONDERLAND Just Twirl Pride Party

Head down the rabbit hole for this Alice in Wonderland-themed Pride party featuring international DJ Sam Gee. A portion of proceeds will benefit Twirl to the World Foundation’s Twirl Assistance Program supporting local LGBTQ+ in need.

More: $40 and up; Aug. 19, 10 p.m.; Black Box Theater, 421 E. Sugar Creek Road; tinyurl.com/ WonderlandPrideParty

Rainbowtopia

An electrifying dance event featuring internationally acclaimed DJ Citizen Jane. Attendees are encouraged to dress in rainbow/unicorn theme.

More: $20 and up; Aug. 19, 10 p.m.; Bassment Charlotte, 911 E. Morehead St. (below Dilworth Neighborhood Grille); rainbowtopia.eventbrite.com

Carolina Creepshow’s CREEPCHELLA

Culture Shock Drag Brunch

Another drag brunch by the kings and queens of DKO Entertainment, but this one is at Resident Culture South End. Ticket does not include food or drinks.

More: $20 and up; Aug. 19, 11 a.m.; Resident Culture South End, 332 W. Bland St., Unit C; tinyurl. com/CultureShockPride

Back to Hartigan’s Time Machine Pride Party

Turn back the clock and reminisce about the good times at Hartigan’s Pub, a longtime lesbian bar in Charlotte that closed in 2014. VIPs get a one-hour exclusive ‘80s-themed reception before the doors open and the ‘90s hits start playing, followed by

Carolina Creepshow’s alternative drag events celebrate the obscure, the terrifying, the camp and the macabre and this show is no different. Vegas Van Dank and Bloody Mary host the queerest party of the night starring The Boulet Brothers’ Dragula: Titans winner Victoria Elizabeth Black with special guest Opulence Black.

More: $15; Aug. 19, 10 p.m.; Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St.; snugrock.com

COURTESY OF CHARLOTTE PRIDEE

ATTENDEES WAVE FLAGS DURING THE 2022 CHARLOTTE PRIDE PARADE IN UPTOWN.

After Pride at Billy Sunday

Relax after the Pride festival and parade with a DJ and drag at Billy Sunday.

More: Free; Aug. 20, 3 p.m.; Billy Sunday Charlotte, Optimist Hall, 1115 N. Brevard St.; tinyurl.com/ AfterPrideBillySunday

Church Pride Potluck and Bingo

SouthPark Christian Church — an open, affirming and inclusive congregation — hosts an outdoor potluck with games, bingo, karaoke, a raffle and a Kona Ice truck. Sign up to bring an appetizer, main dish, side or salad.

More: Free; Aug. 27, 12:30 p.m.; SouthPark Christian Church, 6650 Park S. Drive; tinyurl.com/ ChurchPridePotluck

COURTESY OF CHARLOTTE PRIDE

MANY CELEBRATE ALL DAY AND NIGHT DURING CHARLOTTE PRIDE.

MUSIC FEATURE

TAKING THE MAIN STAGE

Janelle Sy’mone pays her respects on ‘Good Girl’

BY PAT MORAN

Janelle Sy’mone says she wasn’t supposed to win the 2019 Carolina Music Award for Best Female R&B artist. The eclectic singer-songwriter, just two years into her fledgling music career, was sitting in the audience at the Raleigh gala when she was announced as the winner. She didn’t think she heard correctly.

“I was up against women who had albums out,” Sy’mone remembers. “I felt like a fish out of water.”

The favorite to win that year was Imani Pressley, a Grammy-nominated artist who even Sy’mone considered “super dope.” In contrast, Sy’mone had released one single, “That L.O.V.E,” an ode to Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” and a rumination on the #MeToo movement.

“[The song] details how women can come into this world with every ounce of sunlight and magic, and have it stripped away in a second,” Sy’mone says.

It’s a powerful message wrapped in dance-pop perfection, but it was a solitary single. Sy’mone maintains that, having been nominated and put up against artists with extensive oeuvres, she discounted hearing her name once she was called to the podium. A man sitting next to her had to urge her up to the stage.

“My first win, first nomination and first time trying,” Sy’mone says. “That was crazy.”

Growing up in Atlanta and then Valdosta, Georgia, Sy’mone remembers being 6 years old, grabbing the handle of her grandmother’s vacuum cleaner and singing into it as if it was a microphone. By the time she was 12, Sy’mone was writing songs, but she didn’t think they were any good. Although she found inspiration in Anita Baker, TLC, Sade and Jill Scott — powerful Black women with big and distinctive voices — Sy’mone didn’t embrace her nascent talent.

In 2012, at the urging of her beloved sister, a Black trans woman named Diamond Z. Starr-Reynolds, Sy’mone moved to Raleigh. In 2017, Sy’mone met her husband, a fellow Georgia native, on a dating site. That same year, she got married at the age of 25.

“I was head over heels in love, and happy with who and where I was with him,” Sy’mone says. She went to school to become a psychologist, and only sang in the bathroom. Despite Sy’mone’s happiness, the marriage only lasted five months.

“Nothing is happenstance,” Sy’mone says. “The

breakup was the catalyst for becoming who I was supposed to be, an alchemist onstage, an entertainer. Had [my ex-husband] not broken me, I would not have been able to find myself in the pieces.”

So, Sy’mone changed her life’s course.

“I couldn’t just sit on the couch and cry about this man,” she says.

She did her first open mic, and one stage led to another. Sy’mone joined first one and then a second Raleigh-based cover band. The groups fizzled, but through them Sy’mone met musician and producer Jeremy James, who urged her to work on her own songwriting.

“Jeremy said, ‘Sing me something. I’ll send you a beat, and we’ll build a song from there,’” Sy’mone recalls.

The duo started building tracks. With every iteration, James added something new: live horns, bass, percussion, and even a talkbox. They started playing original material onstage, polishing Sy’mone’s live performances.

All Sy’mone’s subsequent singles as well as her entire debut album Good Girl, which dropped on Aug. 3, are produced by James. He is an old-school producer, but in a good way, Sy’mone says, going with live instruments on every track. The songs also include bridges, an increasingly rare commodity in today’s songwriting, Sy’mone offers.

“Jeremy challenges me,” Sy’mone says. “I’ve yet to find that same chemistry with anybody else.”

Sy’mone’s work is a unique intertwining of commercial and artistic, with tunes designed to take listeners on an emotional journey. A tactile feeling that evokes Sy’mone’s electrifying stage performances threads through her second single, recorded in 2019 at Post Pro Studios in Raleigh. In Sy’mone’s most blues-based and personal song to date, she delivers a heartbroken R&B narrative inspired by her divorce.

When Sy’mone’s ex tried to convince her that he wouldn’t hurt her, her stark rejoinder became the song’s title, “Prove It 2 Me.”

“I know we fuss and argue, but I love that man/ He says that I’m wrong, but he don’t understand/ If, though I love him, I don’t really trust him/ I’ve been

hurt again...”

With its gospelinfluenced chorus and torch song intensity, the tune is augmented by a vivid video directed by Stephaun Perry. It’s a stylized 1940s Technicolor performance piece, a study in deep reds, whites and shadowy blacks.

Sy’mone remembers meeting Perry at an open mic. The young videographer has directed all of Sy’mone’s subsequent videos, becoming part of her creative family.

“He went from this guy with a camera and a little gimbal, to [having] a whole team, 25 people working for him,” says Sy’mone. “It is amazing to see his growth.”

By the time the tune’s video debuted, Sy’mone had permanently moved to Charlotte.

With pulsing horns, washes of strings, tightly choreographed dance moves and Sy’mone’s punchy powerful vocals, “Got You” was tracked at Post Pro in 2020. The accompanying video was shot in an alleyway on a bitterly cold night, Sy’mone remembers. The COVID pandemic was just hitting, and director Perry worked overtime to keep curious outdoor diners from butting into frame.

The video is dedicated to Sy’mone’s sister StarrReynolds, who was murdered by her boyfriend in 2017.

The dance-pop tune “All Night” followed in 2021. The ebullient 1980s electro-funk vibe is accompanied by an arresting dance video. It’s a riot of black and white imagery, silhouetted dancers and smoky spotlights.

The emotions engendered by the tune are a far cry from those in “Prove It 2 Me.”

“[‘All Night’ is about] trying to have a one-night stand with a guy that you meet, but you don’t want him to talk about it,” Sy’mone says.

Her most recent song/video release is the live performance clip for energetic pop tune “The Blackout” from 2022.

On Aug. 3, Sy’mone dropped Good Girl, accompanied by the single release of the title track. Both song and album highlight Sy’mone’s most polished pop music to date, yet the tunes retain an experimental edge. Each song is interspersed with brief audio interludes, which

mix dialog with evocative background music. The dialog on the interlude “Diamond’s Wisdom” precedes “Good Girl” on the album. It’s taken from a recording made by Starr-Reynolds.

“She had a boyfriend before [the boyfriend who murdered her] who was cheating on her,” Sy’mone says. “[Starr-Reynolds] recorded a video … where she says words to the effect that she’s been a good girl … and she still doesn’t get any respect.”

Through Sy’mone’s heart aches that her sister didn’t live to hear the interlude and song, she takes solace from the recording.

“Her voice is at the beginning [of the song] so I can always carry her with me,” Sy’mone says.

Sy’mone’s Charlotte Pride will be a kind of tribute to Starr-Reynolds, and so much more.

“It’s my first Charlotte Pride, [and] I’m on the main stage in the middle of the festival!” says Sy’mone, who promises to put on an amazing show. Citing the tragic death of her sister, Sy’mone feels that Pride is especially needed in these trying times.

“For the LGBTQIA+ community, it has been horrendous — the laws that are being passed, the people that are being impacted,” Sy’mone says. “For the community to come out and still be beautiful, bold and hopeful in the face of everything…”

She trails off, but picks up the thread with a burst of positivity. “There is so much love here. There is hope. We all stick together.”

JANELLE SY’MONE

PHOTO BY KB PHOTOGRAPHY

BIG FREEDIA BRINGS THE BOUNCE

BY PAT MORAN

“Charlotte is one of my favorite cities anywhere,” Big Freedia says. “My fans are strong here and so welcoming to me and my team, so when I was invited to Pride, I was like, ‘Yaass!’”

With her booming voice, infections enthusiasm, and vibrant personality, the brash 44-year old nonconforming, nonbinary rapper is an entertainer, influencer and de facto musical ambassador for her New Orleans hometown.

In short, Big Freedia is a larger-than-life personality, and her signature style imbues everything she touches.

Rapid-fire, elliptical and self-consciously arty, Big Freedia’s 2022 video for “Drop/Shake Ya Booty” is also one of the most ebullient, life-affirming recordings you can find on YouTube. When you watch Big Freedia and assorted dancers of all shapes, sizes, sexes and ages stepping, whiplash turning and twerking to the repeated exhortation to “Move your Body!” it becomes impossible not to bounce along.

Emerging from New Orleans housing projects in the late 1980s, bounce is a sprightly strain of hiphop that embodies the soul and verve of the city. A mix of joyous call and response vocals, booming 808 bass beats, sexy and sometimes salacious lyrics and shoutouts that echo the chants of Black carnival revelers known as Mardi Gras Indians, the genre is, above all, big — and Big Freedia is the anointed Queen of Bounce.

Big Freedia was once Freddie Ross Jr., a selfdescribed heavyset-choirboy in the Crescent City. Freddie came out to her mother and became Freedia when she was 12. Coming out fostered increasing confidence, a much needed commodity when being Black and gay in the South was not nearly as accepted as it is today. In high school, Big Freedia started singing with the prestigious Gospel Soul Children of New Orleans and became assistant director of her church choir.

By 1999, Freedia was a backup dancer for her friend, transgender bounce rapper Katey Red. Then Katrina hit New Orleans with the force of a biblical flood. Artists scattered and were forced to travel to gain fans and find exposure. Embracing a punishing

TRINA: STILL THE BADDEST BITCH

BY PAT MORAN

schedule and unflagging work ethic, Big Freedia busted out of the traditional Southern hip-hop scene, finding support in queer-friendly punk and dance music scenes. Interest from Diplo, RuPaul and other tastemakers followed.

In the process, Big Freedia propelled bounce into the mainstream, primarily as samples in charttopping hits, but she achieved so much more. After releasing lively singles like “Gin in My System” in 2003, she dropped her acclaimed debut LP Just Be Free. The album was chosen one of the best of 2014 by AllMusic, which said the collection played “as if Lil B. Lil Kim, Beenie Man, Beyonce, and Dr. Frank-NFurter were spliced together with all their collective sass preserved, then piled high.

Big Freedia followed up that triumph with a string of well-received EPs: 3rd Ward Bounce (2018), Louder (2020), and Big Diva Energy (2021). She collaborated on high-profile projects like Beyoncé’s Grammy award-winning “Formation” and Drake’s “Nice For What,” and covered “Judas” on Lady Gaga’s Born this Way: The Tenth Anniversary album. Throughout this musical journey, Big Freedia has stayed true to bounce’s booming beats and exuberant, call-and-response shouts.

At the same time, she published her 2015 book, Big Freedia: God Save the Queen Diva! and starred in six successful seasons of her reality show Big Freedia Bounces Back on Fuse TV.

In 2023, she garnered an Album of the Year Grammy for her songwriting prowess on Beyoncé’s Renaissance album. That same year, and just in time for Pride, Big Freedia dropped her sophomore fulllength album, Central City Freestyle, which AllMusic proclaims is, “triumphant and declarative.”

For Charlotte Pride, where Big Freedia will headline the Main Stage on Saturday, Aug. 19, the artist hopes revelers and attendees gain a sense of relief and release from her music.

“Times are hard for people right now — for everyone,” she says. “I hope when people come to a Big Freedia show they can escape for a little while and recharge.” PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM

In a hip-hop scene that boasts powerful, scatological take-no-prisoners artists like Cardi B, Megan Thee Stallion and Nicki Minaj, rap’s selfproclaimed baddest bitch Trina is still relevant and worth the reams of hype she’s received over the years. Her raunchy taboo-breaking, giving-no-fuck tracks about sex, money and relationships have inspired succeeding generations of women to embrace their power, and have put men who oppose that shifting dynamic on notice to clean up their acts.

No one is going to confuse Trina’s street poetry with Emily Dickinson’s confessional verse, but Trina’s art displays a frank openness and honesty about her private life. Plus, there’s an undeniable electric frisson you get from hearing Trina puncture fragile male egos on classic tracks like “Fuck Boy,” from her 2017 album The One.

Over insistent beats and bleeping UFO sound effects, Trina unabashedly rips into a guy who’s clearly yesterday’s news: “Six in the morning/ Ni**a at my door/ I’m trying to figure out/ What he out there for/ Last time I seen him/ He was talkin’ his shit/ Fail daddy’s new girl won’t suck no dick...”

For the coup de grâce, Trina hits him where it hurts the most:

“Money ain’t shit when you soft as hell...”

It’s still provocative, jaw-dropping stuff six years later, and like the rest of Trina’s work over a 25-year career, it evokes the brazen, party crazy, seductive and status-and-sex obsessed atmosphere of her hometown Miami, a hedonistic subtropical Camelot ready to sink under the rising sea or get ground under the heel of homegrown fascism. Take your pick.

The filthy-mouthed unapologetic Miami rapper reportedly stumbled into a career when she was asked on the spur of the moment to contribute her nasty-minded flow to fellow Floridian Trick Daddy’s 1998 Top Five rap single “Nann Ni**a.”

The story is that Trina had no musical ambition before this serendipitous session. That’s only partly true. Trina has since said that she was getting ready

to start recording her own album at the time. So, while Trina was very young, she was not a complete naïf when it came to the music business.

Trina followed “Nann’s” success with her debut album Da Baddest Bitch in 2000, which spawned the nickname that she is still fondly known by today. With its gritty and brash lyricism, the album established Trina while setting her apart in the male dominated genre. The LP yielded the Hot 100 single “Pull Over,” which reinforced Trina’s barrier-crashing career arc.

Four subsequent Top 20 Billboard 200 albums followed: Diamond Princess in 2002, The Glamorist Life in 2005, Still da Baddest in 2008 and Amazin’ in 2010. A stand-out track from this era is “Here We Go,” a ballad featuring Kelly Rowland. The track displays a burgeoning sensitivity and maturity on Trina’s part, focusing on an empowering message of selfrespect and resilience.

In addition to collaborations with Juicy J, K. Michelle and Run the Jewels, Trina joined Trick Daddy for four seasons on the reality television series Love & Hip Hop: Miami.

The One, released in 2019 through Trina’s own Rockstarr Music Group, is the artist’s most recent album, notable for containing the single “BAPS,” a collaboration with Nicki Minaj, whom Trina inspired. An acronym for Bad Ass Pretty Sagittarians, a reference to the performers’ shared sun sign, the track contains suitably irreverent, possibly roman à clef lyrics about being a girl boss:

“I know a dude named Wayne that I used to fuck/ I slid on him, got a check, then I was off in that truck/ Ferrari fo’ do’, hit the gas, left foot on the clutch/ Countin’ money bags, shit, I been bossin’ up...”

Trina has had a highly influential and remarkably durable career, one that has survived a recent bout of uncharacteristic low-key behavior where Trina kept a relatively subdued profile while her spiritual heirs strode onto the scene. Now, however, with Trina’s upcoming appearance at Charlotte Pride, it’s clear the baddest bitch is back in the picture.

PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM

A GUIDE TO PRIDE’S MUSIC LINEUP

Here are some other musicians you can catch on the Main Stage during Charlotte Pride Festival on Aug. 19-20

BY PAT MORAN

GREYSON CHANCE GOES GAGA

In April 2010, when Greyson Chance was in sixth grade, he took part in a talent contest. Chance mounted the stage, sat behind a piano and launched into a spirited rendition of Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi.” A video of the performance was uploaded to YouTube and went viral, ultimately gaining over 36 million views. Chance had three years of piano lessons under his belt but no formal vocal training when he made his online breakthrough. The 12-year-old caught Ellen DeGeneres’ attention, and the talk show host invited Chance to play on her show. He never looked back.

Born in Wichita Falls, Texas and now a resident of Edmond, Oklahoma, Chance began playing the piano when he was 8. He remembers being awestruck by Lady Gaga’s appearance on the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards.

Chance’s 2010 debut single, “Waiting Outside the Lines,” preceded the release of his full-length album Hold on ‘Til the Night in 2011. The LP debuted

in the Top 40 and was followed by the 2012 EP Truth Be Told, Pt. 1. As Chance toured over the next few years, his voice deepened, his outlook matured and his focus shifted to toward nuanced piano-based indie-rock and alt-electronic pop. His influences and inspirations broadened to include Christina Aguilera, John Legend, Elton John and John Lennon. Chance came out as gay on social media in 2017. His announcement stressed that he was happy and proud to be queer.

Reviews of Hold on ‘Til the Night had been mostly favorable, but the critical consensus suggested that Chance’s debut was best seen as a harbinger of a better album to come. That appeared in 2019 with the release of Chance’s sophomore full-length album, Portraits, a fitting showcase for the artist’s lyrical and emotive pop. Even better is Palladium, a third full-length album, which dropped in 2022. Chance will headline the Main Stage at Charlotte Pride on Sunday, Aug. 20.

CAROLINA SONGBIRDS COURTNEY LYNN & QUINN

“Pride events are a place of refuge for so many in our community and a place where we feel truly accepted for the love we share,” Courtney Lynn & Quinn wrote in a shared statement to Queen City Nerve. “Charlotte is where we started our musical journey as a duo, and it is so important for us to come back to celebrate and share our pride in the city that helped us build to who we are today!”

Though the married Americana/folk duo cut their musical teeth in Charlotte, Courtney Lynn & Quinn have since decamped for Wilmington. They still, however, hold a special place in the Queen City’s music-loving heart.

The pair first came together to perform songs on Courtney Lynn’s solo debut, Wander Years. They followed that release with their first official project, the Remiss EP, which dropped in 2020.

Like the preceding project, the collection featured engaging tunes based on acoustic guitars that ripple a clear as a swiftly running stream, soaring harmonies that rush like wind whistling

JOHN LEVENGOOD’S POLITICAL GLITTER BOMBS

“North Carolina holds a special place in my heart,” says witty lyricist, melodic songwriter and glittery booty-shaking fashionista and activist John Levengood. “I have fond memories visiting the Outer Banks, cheering on Jeff Gordon on TV at Charlotte Speedway with my dad as a child, and running from one end of CLT airport to the other. One day I’m going to have enough time to sit on those rocking chairs in between flights.”

Growing up in Virginia, Levengood was inspired by performers like Shania Twain and Britney Spears. Still in high school, he recorded and released he debut album Confident in 2012. A scathing put-down by judge Demi Lovato in reality TV show The X Factor USA in 2013 did little to dampen Levengood’s spirit.

Relocating to Los Angeles, Levengood dropped two more releases, Storm in 2013 and Reach in 2014. Currently a Washington, D.C. resident, Levengood performed the live debut of his song “Say Gay” at the 2022 Capital Pride Festival in Washington, D.C. The

tune protests anti-LGBTQ legislation such as Florida’s draconian “Don’t Say Gay” bill.

“Say gay! Say gay! Say gay!/Say what? Say what?/One little law won’t shut us up!”

“Like my home state of Virginia, North Carolina has seen numerous bills introduced in its legislature this year which hurt trans youth, LGBTQ+ people, women, minorities, and marginalized groups,” Levengood says. “As the largest pride festival in North Carolina, Charlotte Pride is so important because it sends a message to all of the legislators in NC who voted for these hateful bills: The Bible Belt is studded with rhinestones now; we are here to stay.

“I want the [Pride] audience to know they are perfect being 100% authentic to themselves. I also hope they walk away with a renewed sense of urgency to get involved in their state and local governments and vote in all elections. We all have the power to change the world with enough ‘Werk Ethic.’

through the trees and lyrics that embody the warmth of a friendly proffered hand.

In July, the duo released their catchy new single, “Found My Love,” a feel-good tune about falling in love. With a bouncy groove and beautifully layered harmonies, the song boasts a retro 1970s pop/light rock feel.

“They say these are the best days/ But we don’t know till they’re gone / I move with you like the rock in my step/ Anywhere you go I’m home...”

“We always want to truly connect with our audience to make them feel real human emotions from the experiences we so vulnerably portray in our songs and stories,” the pair stated.

Regarding their upcoming performance at Pride, the duo wrote, “We also have a desire to inspire anyone and everyone to express who they truly are in a world that can sometimes be unforgiving and unkind, and walk with a confidence of self love that holds stronger than any hate.”

GREYSON CHANCE / COURTESY OF CHARLOTTE PRIDE

MUSIC FEATURE BIG ELECTRIC CAT

ALL HAIL JOHNÁE THEE EGYPTIAN GODDESS

Hailing from Liberty City in Miami, model, dancer, TV personality and recording artist Johnàe Wright, better known as Johnáe Thee Egyptian Goddess, started recording and releasing songs in 2020. Her debut single, electro rap banger “Pwussy Bill Due,” was accompanied by a twerktastic apartment porch video, and went viral after becoming a TikTok dance clip. The track defined Johnáe Thee Egyptian Goddess’ brash, energetic and salacious sound.

Wright began training to become a professional dancer at local performing arts centers at age 8, where she learned dancing, singing, design and modeling. In 2010, she started dancing in Las Vegas with Disney’s The McClain Sisters. After

graduating from New World School of the Arts in 2014, Wright was featured in Oxygen Channel’s The Prancing Elite Project in 2015. Next, Wright graduated from Paul Mitchell School for Cosmetology, and went on to appear regularly on TMZ.

In 2019 Johnàe Wright joined the cast of The ON Channel’s Beautiez & Bikerz of Charlotte, which followed the exploits of Wright and other entertainers as they toured and performed up and down the East Coast.

After the success of “Pwussy Bill Due,” Wright began recording her debut album Scorpionic, which features collaborations with Brandon Hilton, Booda Baddazz, Alyse Fontaine and Daa Kant.

CASSIDY KING’S UNDERCURRENTS OF LOVE

A proud, queer woman who offers a voice to those still finding the words to share their life experiences, Cassidy King is known for crafting intensely personal, poignant lyrics and indelible R&B-inflected indie-pop melodies.

Born and raised in Chardon, Ohio, a small, conservative town outside of Cleveland, King didn’t pursue music until she attended Kent State University. Inspired by artists like Ani DeFranco and Tennessee rock band Paramore, King took the bold step of embracing her sexuality openly with the video for her song “Professional Smiler,” in which she kisses her on-screen girlfriend.

King’s 2020 debut EP, Not So Picture Perfect, was a much darker and more emotionally complex work. Here, songs like “Safe Places,”“Abigail,” and “Wasted” detail the onrush of exhilaration and creeping despair of a first relationship that turns toxic.

A period of wood-shedding followed, where King collaborated with longtime friend, producer and songwriter TyC to craft an intimate collection

of songs entitled Concrete Walls. King has described the songwriting process as keeping a kind of diary about falling in love, healing herself and coming to terms with who she is. This candor, compassion and seeking nature is embodied in songs like the midtempo electro-pop track “Underwater.”

“I don’t want to feel as though falling in love with me is easy/ Because nothing ever worth anything ever is...”

Recently, King has released music with a lighter outlook, like the romantic and sunny pop gem about burgeoning love, “Matcha Tea.”

“She told me she like matcha tea and flowers/ She thrifts her jeans and wears shirts with collars/ And she sleeps in cuz we stay up for hours...”

Dubbed a purveyor of “Sapphic heartbreak bop” by female and nonbinary LGBTQIA+ publication Diva magazine, King released the single “Under Covers” in 2022. Like much of King’s work, the tune is about accepting who you are, who you love and how you present yourself.

With sunny resonating guitar, springy syncopated beats and sparkling synths the stage is set for laid back yet wistful vocals on Big The Cat’s latest single “Paradise.”

“They all say/ The more you look/ The further away it goes/ But I’m fine/ With you by my side/ I don’t feel time...”

Singer-songwriter Reed O’Neal and guitarist Zac Byrd started a longstanding friendship after meeting in a tattoo shop. In 2021, the duo launched indie electronic pop-rock act Big the Cat. Since then, they have been honing their emotional earworm-laden sound through the release of five singles, kicking off with “Nightwalker” in 2022. Here, a louche and swooning grove with twanging guitars gives way to a swinging and energetic jazz-rock passage.

Meanwhile, O’Neal’s everyman vocals — think 1970s yacht rockers Atlanta Rhythm Section frontman Rodney Justo — seem super chill about the sinister scenario building up around them.

“When the nightwalkers come for you/ Hide

where you want to/ They’ll always find out where you are...”

With dramatic electrified flamenco guitar, splashy big beats and bleeping UFO sound effects, “Conviction” treads an accusatory and slightly paranoid tack. The 2023 follow-up “Seasons” boasts dramatic Santana-inspired guitar, elastic ominous bass and vocals sprinkled with braggadocio and desperation.

“Soon as I turned 18/ Told my mama you won’t see me around, yeah/ I gotta get out while the getting’s good/ I’m building it from the ground, yeah...”

Distorted phase-shifted guitar ushers in the swaggering, accident-bound “Mayday.”

“I’m on autopilot/ Just cruisin’ across the sea/ She said I got the mileage/ So you know I’ll be right there sittin’ on the wing...”

In short, Big the Cat deliver satisfying rock tunes retooled with modern production techniques that spotlight thought provoking walking-on-thin-ice lyrics.

JOHNÁE THEE EGYPTIAN GODDESS / COURTESY OF CHARLOTTE PRIDE

INCUBAKER

Sweet Spot Studio is a space for learning and small business support

BY DEZANII LEWIS

For many people, baking is a daunting hobby to pick up. Without the right tools and education, it can feel impossible to learn, with repeated failures making practice feel like a nightmare.

Sweet Spot Studio was launched with the goal to change that for the people of the greater Charlotte area. Opened in 2017, the company both offers classes for amateur bakers (Sweet Spot Studio) and provides kitchen rental space for more experienced bakers (Sweet Spot Kitchen).

“We have two parts to our business,” said Jossie Lukacik, owner of Sweet Spot Studio. “We have Sweet Spot Studio and then Sweet Spot Kitchen. For Sweet Spot Studio, we offer baking and pastry classes for students of all levels, and then for Sweet Spot Kitchen, we rent out commercial kitchen space to other food artisans, mainly bakers.”

When the pandemic hit and stay-at-home orders were in place, many people took to picking up hobbies to kill the time. Baking seemed to be one of the more popular hobbies, but people often have their own apprehensions, Lukacik said. With an establishment such as Sweet Spot, however, the goal is to challenge those preconceived notions in favor of a more positive mindset.

“I think a lot of people are intimidated by baking. It has to be exact,” she said. “But when you break everything down into small steps, it becomes much more approachable. So that’s one of our goals: always just to make baking less scary, more approachable, have people treat it almost more like cooking.”

A baker with formal training from one of France’s top culinary schools, Lukacik wants to see her clients enjoy the feeling that success in the kitchen brings — trials without all the errors.

“Many of our students work in other fields and baking is their creative outlet,” boasts Sweet Spot’s website. “Some are looking to switch careers, finesse their existing skills, or just learn something new. We design our standard classes to satisfy the needs of each of these student groups. In all of our classes we find out why our students are in here, and make sure they leave ready to tackle their goals.”

A happy accident

Lukacik was born and raised in Washington D.C. She later graduated from Miami University before traveling to France, where she got her formal pastry training at Ecole Nationale Superieure de Patisserie in Yssingeaux.

Lukacik returned to the United States, where she worked with a restaurant group in Maryland, but entrepreneurship stayed front of mind. She eventually brought her skills to Charlotte, where in 2013 she launched the pastry program at the renowned Heirloom Restaurant, then went on to develop pastry programs at The Dunhill Hotel and Block & Grinder.

In 2015, Lukacik founded Sweet Affairs, an artisanal wedding cake and dessert catering company, yet she struggled to afford the rent for her kitchen.

“When I first started my wedding cakes business, I knew I couldn’t afford my rent. And wedding cakes book six months to a year out, so it didn’t make sense for me to have a solo space at the beginning since I wouldn’t be having the work coming in,” she said. “So another baker gave me the idea to share a kitchen so I could effectively have other people pay my rent.”

She started out with four tenants plus herself, then opened her studio the following year, which allowed her to expand into kitchen rentals.

“Over the years, the demand has just been really high,” Lukacik said. “So most recently, I was able to sell two of my units in the business park to two of my tenants who had been with me for five and six years. So the kitchen kind of happened by accident back in 2017.”

While Sweet Spot isn’t the only establishment of its kind in the Charlotte area, its business model makes it a fairly different creation, serving as an incubator for the smallest of small businesses.

“There are other commercial kitchens in Charlotte,” Lukacik said. “We definitely have a different business model than they do because we’re not under the health department, so we can’t

accommodate food trucks, stuff like that. Most of the businesses with us are smaller.”

Sweet Spot Studio is, to Lukacik’s knowledge, the only baking school in Charlotte that focuses solely on baking and decorating, with students who commute from as far as Columbia, South Carolina, and Raleigh.

And as they’ve trained Charlotte area bakers — both hobbyists and those with professional aspirations — the space has continued to serve as an incubator for local small businesses. According to the company’s website, since 2017, 32 businesses have rented kitchen space from Sweet Spot, with three growing enough to move into their own storefronts. Not only has Lukacik established a space for herself and amateur bakers, but she has also made it possible for other businesses to fully realize their own goals, and that’s no accident.

A new mindset

In addition to defying how formidable baking can seem to people, Sweet Spot is also challenging how people view baking in general. Lukacik wants to teach people that baking doesn’t have to consist solely of sweet desserts, they can be savory, too.

“That’s honestly one of the biggest things for the 12-week program is changing the mindset of our students around flavor, just kind of stepping outside of the box,” she said. “A lot of people, they just think chocolate, vanilla, carrot cake, red velvet when they

think dessert. We really incorporate bringing in herbs and savory flavors and understanding what pairs together and trying things. We have a big flavor chart that we work on the first week and so by the end, students are creating things that they never would have thought of before.”

Lukacik attributes this mindset to her days of working in restaurants because it helped broaden her perspective on what was possible.

“Honestly, the most helpful thing to me when it comes to the actual baking was when I was working in restaurants,” she said. “I really paid attention to the savory side. By learning more about cooking, I was able to really elevate the flavors that I used.”

Not only does Lukacik strive to rewrite how people define baking, she also wants to show why it’s never too early to start baking. While many of Sweet Spot’s classes are aimed towards adults, they also host a teen summer program, which recently concluded.

“We try to provide a very accurate pastry school experience,” she said. “So within that, the kids do their own dishes, they do all the scaling, and we work on more advanced techniques. I wanted to be able to give kids kind of an idea of what pastry school is like, especially if they’re looking to go into the industry.”

Lukacik said she takes a good bit of inspiration from the teenagers who come through her camp.

“I think it’s when a lot of kids find their passion

COURTESY OF SWEET SPOT STUDIO

SWEET SPOT STUDIO TEACHES STUDENTS HOW TO DECORATE COOKIES.

FOOD & DRINK

for it and they’re just so open to learning and they’re also a lot more forgiving on themselves than adults typically are when learning something new,” she said.

In keeping with an accurate pastry school experience, Sweet Spot also caters the two-week program to what the current attendees might be interested in at that time.

“This past group was very interested in cake decorating, so we did more cakes than I would typically do because that’s something that they really wanted,” she said.

Due to safety regulations, the program doesn’t typically include children, but occasionally, exceptions are made.

“We don’t typically offer kids in the teen classes, but we have people all the time who say, ‘My 11-year-old loves to bake and I don’t know how to

bake. They bake, can they come to the classes?’ So we always make age exceptions for those kids,” she said. “We actually do have an application for age exceptions on our website, so that will open up our classes to even more.”

Lukacik said she’s been blown away by the talent of kids as young as 9 in her classes.

“It is a commercial kitchen that we’re doing classes in, so it’s definitely a safety thing and just maintaining all of that, but we’re always happy to make exceptions for kids who are really passionate about it,” she said.

The final destination

With everything that Lukacik has accomplished in her time as a pastry chef and entrepreneur, one wonders what she plans to tackle next. She insists, however, she is exactly where she wants to be.

“This is my kind of final destination, I would say, as far as exploring the industry. Because I did restaurants; I did the plated desserts; I did fine

dining; I did wedding cakes; I did dessert tables,” she said. “Teaching is definitely where my passion is.”

She’s grateful for everything she’s learned throughout the years working in restaurants and patisseries, but for Lukacik, that environment was vastly different from teaching and not as fulfilling.

“It’s the interaction with the students and seeing the looks of accomplishment at the end of class, especially when it comes to our decorating classes,” she said. “A lot of students come in and, especially with my cookie decorating, they come in and take a picture of the demo cookies and say, ‘Oh, there’s no

way I can do these.’ And then they’re shocked at just how good theirs come out.

“One of the things that’s just really important to me with our classes is that they’re hands-on enough that students feel like they can go home and try what they learned in class and then hopefully try other things as well,” she continued.

For Lukacik, it’s seeing the looks of pride on the students’ faces that reminds her why she’s running her own kitchen rather than baking in someone else’s.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

COURTESY OF SWEET SPOT STUDIO

JOSSIE LUKACIK

SUDOKU

BY LINDA THISTLE

TRIVIA TEST

BY FIFI RODRIGUEZ

1. ANIMAL KINGDOM: What is a group of kangaroos called?

2. MOVIES: What kind of enchanted flower is featured in the animated film “Beauty and the Beast”?

3. GEOGRAPHY: How many pyramids are in the Pyramids of Giza in Egypt?

4. TELEVISION: What did the surgeons on the “M.A.S.H” TV drama call their tent home?

5. FOOD & DRINK: When was the first restaurant franchise of Kentucky Fried Chicken founded?

6. U.S. STATES: What is the capital of Vermont?

7. CHEMISTRY: What is the only letter that doesn’t occur in the Periodic Table?

8. MYTHOLOGY: What is the Roman god equivalent of the Greek god Hermes?

9. LITERATURE: Which famous singer-songwriter won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 2016?

10. MUSIC: Which country is the pop band ABBA from?

CROSSWORD

PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE.

THE SEEKER BIG LEO ENERGY

It’s the start of something new

BY KATIE GRANT

August is a month of mixed energies — lamenting the end of summer while feeling the excitement of a new school year — leading to the emergence of what is known as “Leo energy,” which is associated with creativity and inspiration.

However, due to experiencing heavy personal losses in the first half of the year, including the death of a parent and the divorce of close friends, finding solace in the silence has been critical for my mental health. This is where yin and restorative practices come into play, offering a sense of healing and rejuvenation to counterbalance the oppressive heat and humidity.

In the heart of Plaza Midwood lies a unique destination called the Big Love Yoga Barn (BLYB). This community center (yes, it really is a barn) provides diverse, creative, intuitive yoga classes, events and workshops.

Their mission is to empower individuals both on and off the yoga mat, making the benefits of yoga and mindfulness accessible to everyone and fostering a greater sense of health, happiness and well-being within the community.

I recently visited BLYB and discovered its magic after attending a mindful Monday date night experience that included dinner at Pure Pizza followed by yoga and a sound bath in the verdant barn behind the restaurant.

The yoga session began with a brief meditation followed by an intense yoga flow in a circular mandala pattern, which involves moving halfway or entirely around the yoga mat.

After the invigorating flow, participants found themselves lying on their backs on their mats, eagerly anticipating the sound bath finale while staring at the trippy, cylindrical art hanging from the ceiling. The yoga teacher used a collection of singing bowls to create gentle waves of vibrations that enveloped the participants in a therapeutic “bath” of sound.

Beyond its soothing sounds, the sound bath experience induces deep relaxation, reduces stress and promotes overall well-being. It is believed that the sounds and vibrations of the singing bowls can influence the body’s energy centers, known as chakras, and help balance the flow of energy throughout the body.

Following the sweat-filled practice, I took a soak in an Epsom salt bath later that evening and slept like a baby!

Yoga Nidra, or yogic sleep, is another yin practice I’ve explored through the summer months. A recent two-hour workshop at Khali Yoga Center provided a much-needed opportunity for deep physical, mental and emotional relaxation while maintaining awareness.

The room of practitioners were instructed to lie down

THE ALLERGIST GOT ALLERGIES?

My journey through histamine intolerance

BY JASIATIC ANDERSON

in a comfortable position. The Yoga Nidra experience involves body awareness, breath awareness, and guided visualization. The workshop facilitator allowed us to journal afterward as a bonus.

Together we achieved physical relaxation by consciously releasing tension in specific body parts, starting at the crown of the head down to each toe. The breath awareness phase helps calm the mind and connect with the body’s natural rhythm, while guided visualization fosters mental and emotional relaxation.

The practice allows individuals to let go of thoughts, emotions and distractions, entering a state of profound stillness and rejuvenation. During my meditation, I felt like I was floating above my problems, genuinely able to disconnect.

Afterward, my journaling takeaways included approaching each interaction from a place of love, acting with intention at work and in relationships, and being kind to myself when I fall off my health and wellness routine (like when I drink a whole bottle of red wine in one night).

Leo energy is also prideful, just in time for Charlotte’s vibrant Pride Festival and Parade. Celebrating over 20 years of Charlotte Pride and more than 40 years of LGBTQ+ Pride legacy in the Queen City, the event has evolved from humble beginnings to attracting a recordbreaking 275,000 attendees recently.

Just in time for my birthday, this year’s festival takes place on Aug. 19-20 in Uptown. It’s the best birthday party a gal could ask for — a rainbow and glitterfestooned celebration of love, diversity, and acceptance.

The event’s highlight is the Charlotte Pride Parade. The vibrant parade weaves through the streets of Uptown, showcasing the community’s resilience, love, and pride.

As the LGBTQ+ community continues triumphantly, the Charlotte Pride Festival and Parade is a powerful testament to the progress and acceptance achieved over the years, inviting everyone to join the celebration (and wish me a happy birthday, of course).

In a year filled with experiences of loss, personal growth and self-discovery, three prominent entities — the Big Love Yoga Barn, Khali Yoga Center, and the Charlotte Pride Festival and Parade — embody the values of acceptance, love and community that I seek.

These serve as powerful reminders of the strength that comes from unity and authenticity. As I embrace the significant Leo energy of the season, I am determined to move boldly into the second half of the year, akin to a fearless lioness.

It’s a Friday afternoon and much of my morning has been spent preparing for my monthly plant-based dinner party: the Liberation Dinner. After a few market runs, I head over to grab ice cream from Seemingly Overzealous in Camp North End. I am destined for a dietary cheat.

I haven’t had breakfast (cause it’s not really my style) but I have had exactly 17 macadamias and a cup of cantaloupe, if that counts. These days I’m eating much of the same thing every day. I’m on both a low-FODMAP and low-histamine diet. While I know having any ice cream is gonna be problematic, I’m intrigued that I’ve found a lesser evil.

All of the ice cream at Seemingly Overzealous is oatbased. This makes sense to me not because I eat a plantbased diet but because most people are lactose intolerant — Black and brown people specifically — even if they don’t know it.

In fact, a Cornell University study found that, while Denmark saw a 2% rate of intolerance, close to 100% of folks living in Zambia were intolerant. It’s believed that, worldwide, 65% of the human population is allergic to ice cream. Now I’m feeling catered to.

The truth is I haven’t tasted or smelled in almost a year. (I remind you that I am a chef, which makes this all the more difficult.) No, it’s not long COVID, as is the first thought of many people who hear of my symptoms. I have what my allergist calls a “pseudo allergy” (insert eye roll).

What I initially thought was an alcohol allergy turned out to be an all-out histamine intolerance. People would laugh when I said I couldn’t drink alcohol, or remark, “I wish I had that problem.” At first I thought wine was the culprit, as that’s what would create the most severe symptoms, but then I noticed that my beloved whiskey neat was also in betrayal.

One night, while traipsing through the streets of Miami, I happened upon an exclusive gin bar, where they made their own infusions — lemongrass, saffron … can you even? So I decided for the first time in my big adult life I’d try gin. I actually felt fine! I’d found it, my juniper berry cure. But upon arriving back to North Carolina, I quickly learned that the Hendrick’s was not it.

Histamine intolerance is pretty common, to some degree. If you’ve ever had a headache from drinking it is quite likely the histamine that you’re reacting to. My situation, however, is admittedly severe and chronic.

Jessica Berresse and Garrett Tichy, who opened

Seemingly Overzealous in May, have said in interviews that they themselves didn’t have any allergies, so I was curious why they decided to take the plant-based route.

“Early on into making ice cream, before it was really a plan to open a shop, a vegan friend asked if we could make it dairy-free,” Berresse told me. “We tried and when we finally got our recipe right, she was blown away by it. When we started trying other non-dairy ice cream brands we realized the quality was pretty hit or miss. On top of that, most non-dairy folks only get one or two options when they go into a scoop shop. We wanted to change that.”

I can attest to all of this, and would add that ice cream makers have been doing too much with coconut. We’re in our oat milk era.

“Without having allergies ourselves, we’re new to the allergy game,” Berresse said. “So we have learned (and continue to learn) a lot about all the different food allergies out there.”

Berresse told me that it wasn’t the intention to make Seemingly Overzealous completely gluten-free until one potential customer described to Jessica and Garrett just how severe their celiac disease, also known as glutensensitive enteropathy, could get.

“It had us consider just how many people are glutenfree and ultimately we decided it was easier to nix the gluten from the cabinet than to try and work around the cross-contamination and separate scoops,” she explained. “Even folks who walk in but ultimately can’t have anything of ours due to an oat or other allergy are so grateful that we’re even making an effort to be allergyfriendly. People have been so overwhelmingly kind and supportive, it’s truly incredible.”

How do you taste without any taste? Butter pecan was my mother’s favorite (and if you are a child of the ’80s, possibly your mom’s favorite, too) so I’m admittedly a pro. I look for a few key things that my palate still recognizes, and I find them all in this superior vegan butter pecan scoop. The nuts are both crispy and salty while the base is creamy and sweet.

This cheat was everything an ageusic foodie could ask for.

So many of us are dealing with variations of allergies. While not all of us adhere to the strict dietary measures necessary to control or provide ease to our diseases, for some of us it’s life or death.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Aspects favor new romances for unpaired Ewes and Rams. Already-paired Arian twosomes experience renewed harmony in their relationships. Money matters also take a bright turn.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Use that strong Bovine determination to help you keep the faith with your convictions while you move through a period of uncertainty. Things begin to ease by the week’s end.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Pay attention to your intuition. It could be alerting you to be more careful about accepting a “statement of fact” simply on trust. Don’t be shy about asking for more proof.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Concern for the well-being of someone in need is admirable, but don’t forget to take care of yourself as well. Ask a family member, close friend or colleague to help you.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) It’s OK to focus on the demands of your career, but try to avoid misunderstandings by also reaching out to family and friends. Your sharp intuitive sense kicks in by midweek.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Keep a rein on that green-eyed monster. Jealousy is counterproductive. Instead of resenting a colleague’s good points, concentrate on developing your own abilities.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Spending time on a creative project during this high-energy week can pay off both in emotional satisfaction and in impressing someone who is glad to see this side of you.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Now is a good time to start planning that trip you’ve put off because of the demands on your time. Be sure to choose a destination that is new and exciting.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) That upbeat mood in the first part of the week makes you eager to take on new ventures. A more serious note sets in later to help you assess an upcoming decision.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) A high energy level gives the Goat the get-up-and-go to finish outstanding tasks before deadline, leaving time for wellearned fun and games with friends and family.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Dealing with disappointment is never easy, but the wise Aquarian will use it as a vital lesson and be the better for it. On another note, a close friend has something important to say.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Your best bet is not to get involved in an argument between colleagues until you know more about who started it and why. Even then, appearances could be deceiving. Be alert.

BORN THIS WEEK: You have creative gifts that inspire those who get to see this sometimes hidden side of you.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Mars, your ruling planet, helps you deal with career challenges in a way that reflects some of your own hidden strengths. This impresses some important decision-makers.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Your strong Bovine will, combined with your romantic nature (you are ruled by Venus), helps turn a romance with a potential for problems into one with more positive possibilities.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Mercury’s influence creates some unsettling moments, but nothing that you can’t live with. You’ll soon learn more about a major change that is about to be revealed.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Opportunities for you are like the phases of the Moon — constantly appearing and reappearing. So, cheer up. The opportunity you thought slipped by will be replaced by another.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) An opportunity that you hoped would open up for you remains closed. Stop wasting time scratching at it. Something else you’ll like will soon make itself apparent and accessible.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Congratulations. You’ll soon hear some positive feedback for all of the hard work you recently put into a project. Meanwhile, a Pisces could soon swim into your personal life.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Someone whose friendship you felt you had to write off will try to revive it. What you do is up to you, but don’t do it without giving it considerable thought.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) A job-related plan might need to be reworked to allow for changes. Lucky for you, there’s strong planetary influences that can help you focus on getting it done right.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) This is a good time to move into areas of self-discovery. You might be surprised about who you really are and how you really relate to those around you.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Expect to confront someone who will make an unwelcome request. Stand by your resolve to do the right thing, no matter what “persuasion” might be offered.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) A friendly competition could become more contentious than you expected. Take time out to discuss the reasons behind this unexpected change and act accordingly.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) You have a wonderful mind for solving mysteries, so you should feel confident about solving the one that develops very close to you. An unlikely source offers help.

BORN THIS WEEK: You’re a great host or hostess. You love being with people, and you’re very good about planning all sorts of social events that bring folks together.

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SAVAGE LOVE AGE PLAYED

Just under the wire

BY DAN SAVAGE

I’m a single straight male in my 40s. I date women in their 20s-50s. I hooked up with a 21-year-old woman recently, which is the youngest age I’d consider dating. Except after we had sex, she told me she was actually much younger than 21. I did not break the law. I live in a state which has a surprisingly low age of consent, and she is above it, but barely. This was not about me making assumptions about her age. She explicitly told me via text that she was 21, and that was the age she listed on the dating app where we matched. She looks 21, she told me she has a job, lives on her own, and shared several stories that would only make sense if she was 21. I realize now she made some of this up. I cut off contact with her immediately.

Even though it’s not illegal, it still feels pretty bad. I honestly feel like crap. Even though what I did was not illegal, I honestly feel like maybe it should be. A lot of people would say I did something wrong by sleeping with a 21-year-old woman in the first place (or what I thought was a 21-year-old woman), or by not checking more carefully. (Should I have asked to see her ID or something?) But someone lied to me, and I had sex I would otherwise not have had, and now I feel sick about it. I can’t eat, I’ve been drinking too much, and I just can’t shake this feeling that I’m the worst and that my life is somehow over. The whole idea of sex seems disgusting to me now.

Is this as big a deal as I’m making it out to be? Is it appropriate for me to feel like something has been done to me, or am I just trying to feel like a victim? I didn’t think that there was anything wrong with dating a 21-year-old woman, and I’ve always tried to be ethical when dating women younger than me, but now I feel pretty sleazy about it.

WORRIES OVER RECENT SEXUAL EXPERIENCE

No one who read your letter — and no one reading my response — wants me to help you. No one wants me to write something that will make you feel better, WORSE, or less sleazy, because no one is rooting for you to get back on the apps.

Sorry, WORSE, but people don’t have much sympathy for straight men in their forties who claim to have accidentally fucked teenage girls. And that’s what we’re

talking about, right? This girl was over the age consent in the state where you live, WORSE, but just barely; and the age of consent in the state where you live is “surprisingly low.” So, this woman — this girl — was under the age of consent in other states. Which means she was 16 or 17 years old.

Now, most people will assume — most people will reasonably assume — that you, an experienced man in his 40s, should’ve been able to figure that out before you fucked that teenager. And if you didn’t figure that out, it was because you didn’t want to figure that out until after you fucked that teenager.

But in fairness to you, WORSE, and at the risk of pissing off literally every other person reading this column — please, God, tear off my fingers — there are teenagers out there who look older than they actually are. We’ve all known 16-year-olds who don’t get carded when they buy beer because they look at least five years older. Some of us were those 16-year-olds. On the flip side, we all know 21-year-olds who look like they’re 16. Some of us were those 21-year-olds.

Something else we should all know by now: Sometimes teenagers get on dating and hookup apps and lie about their ages. So, when an older person matches with someone who claims to be anywhere from 18 and 21 — whether the older person is two years older or two decades older — it’s incumbent on the older person to make sure the younger person is not a minor.

And while there isn’t a lot of sympathy for straight guys who accidentally fuck teenage girls, if things went down the way you described them, WORSE, and you had sex you wouldn’t have consented to if you hadn’t been misled … then you have a right to feel violated. “Rape by deception,” obtaining someone’s consent to sex under false pretenses, is a hotly debated area of law, and cases likes yours — much older men fucking teenage girls — aren’t usually cited by advocates for making “rape by deception” a crime.

Very few people are going see you as the victim, WORSE, and most people will feel that if you were deceived by anyone — and that’s going to be a big “if” for most people — you deceived yourself. But you’re not asking people to vote on whether you’re allowed to feel awful about what you did (fucking a teenager) and/or what was done to you (being lied to by a teenager). You’re entitled to feel however you feel.

On top of those awful feelings, WORSE, you’re also feeling a lingering sense of panic about how much more

trouble your dick could’ve gotten you into. If were in another state, or if this girl was a tiny bit younger, you could’ve wound up on a sex-offender registry. In the time that elapsed between finding out how young this girl actually was and Googling the age of consent in the state where you live, WORSE, your life must have flashed before your eyes.

So, what do you do now? Raise the fucking floor. If you stop hooking up with women under the age of, say, 30, your odds of finding yourself in this situation again — your odds of running the risk of arrest and imprisonment again — would plummet. And if you ever wind up matching with one of those rare 30-year-old women who look like they could be seventeen, ask to see her I.D.

I’m a 35-year-old cishet woman who just moved back to a big Southern city. While I do want a committed partner eventually, all I want right now is something casual. I want some good PIV sex and to experiment with ass play, light bondage, and maybe attend a few sex parties. When I moved, I skipped the apps and met the first four men that I’ve slept with through friends. All four cishet men were in their mid-to-late 30s and each either had issues with keeping it up or came prematurely. I feel frustrated, disappointed, unsatisfied, and kind of guilty for feeling this way. If I’m going to keep sleeping with dudes in their mid-30s to mid-40s, are unreliable boners something I should expect? Is there any way to screen for this or is sleeping with someone the only way to find out? If they do have issues lasting as long as I’d like, how do I let them know that I’m moving on without it being obvious that it’s because I want someone who can keep it up and last at least 10 minutes? Is it ok that I’d rather move on to the next guy than try and have these potentially sensitive conversations when I only want something casual? Do you think I’d have better luck finding what I’m looking for on the apps?

HARDLY AROUSED RECENT DICKS

You don’t owe someone an explanation if you don’t wanna fuck them again. Ghosting on people is unnecessary and unkind, HARD, and casual sex partners are people, too. You can thank someone for their service without telling them why you aren’t interested in being serviced again. If a guy demands an explanation and you wanna give it to him, HARD, you can let him have it. And who knows? Maybe he’ll tell you that he was nervous or that he only has erection or endurance issues with new partners or that he immediately ran out and got himself some Viagra after that night. If you wanna give him a second chance, you can. If he disappoints you again, you don’t have to give him a third chance.

As for asking a guy in advance whether he can get or stay hard, HARD, that could induce the kind of performance anxiety that makes it harder for a guy can’t get or stay hard. So, fucking around until you find the guy or guys who can come through for you may be the better strategy. Also, you don’t have to wait to find a regular male partner

before attending a sex party. Most sex parties don’t allow single men, but they welcome single women. The people you meet a sex party will have expectations similar to your own — no one goes to sex parties looking for a serious commitment — and since you’ll be able to watch guys servicing other women, you’ll be able to see which guys get hard, stay hard, and last a while.

I’m having an affair with a married man. (I know, I know.) And while this might seem counterproductive to my position, I am trying to convince him to ask his wife to renew their efforts at marriage counseling. Not because I think it could save his marriage, it might be beyond saving, but I think he needs to make an honest effort at telling his wife what he thinks and feels and needs, and it might be a safe space for that. They tried it before, he says, and the sessions became all about her — her feelings and her needs — and I don’t think he’s really voiced most of what he’s going through with her. Instead, I become the dumping ground for all that, and while I’m happy to help him, I’m not a trained therapist. I also think he should ask his wife to open the marriage, because from what he describes, he’s not ready to leave her yet. (Financial considerations.) And marriage counseling might be a safe space to approach the topic. How do I get him and his wife to make the effort, so I can stop being their de-facto therapist?

MISTRESS IN MIDDLE

You can stop being their de-facto therapist right now, MIM. You aren’t obligated to listen to your lover complain about his marriage until he starts seeing a marriage counselor with his wife again. Set a boundary: “Dumping in me is fine, dumping on me is not.”

And while you don’t mention how long this affair has been going on, MIM, I’m guessing it’s been going on for a while, seeing as you’re sick of being dumped on. (The dumping in must be pretty spectacular.) So, at this point, MIM, you’ve heard every complaint your lover has about his wife and his marriage a dozen times or more. You’ve patiently listened, you’ve lovingly consoled, you’ve fucking fucked … and now you need to tell your lover you’re done. Not done fucking him, done listening to him complain. You’re his mistress, not his therapist, and it’s unfair of him to expect you to play both those roles.

A word of warning: You’re pushing your lover, who says he doesn’t want to end his marriage, to get back into couples counseling and say a bunch of things to his wife that can’t be unsaid and that could wind up ending their marriage. If you’re hoping to go from side piece to queen consort — consciously or subconsciously — you don’t want your fingerprints on their divorce. The other woman is always at risk of being blamed, MIM, but if your lover takes your advice and his marriage collapses as a direct result, you could wind up with the blame, not the man.

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