Queen City Nerve - August 23, 2023

akeough@qcnerve.com

TABLE OF CONTENTS

NEWS & OPINION

4 Battle Lines by Ryan Pitkin

Public School Strong pushes back against the movement to undermine education

6 Election Guide 2023 by Ryan Pitkin

Mayor, city council and school board races in Charlotte

ARTS & CULTURE

8 The Lengths by Bruce Brightly

Two Charlotte creatives set to open much-needed indie performance space

10 Lifeline: Ten Cool Things To Do in Two Weeks

MUSIC

12 The Power of Positive by Pat Moran Sayurblaires spread a message of trans joy

14 Soundwave

FOOD & DRINK

16 Setting the Bar by Rayne Antrim Tattooz & Booz eyes expansion for uniquely successful hybrid model

LIFESTYLE

18 Puzzles

20 Aerin It Out by Aerin Spruill

21 Horoscope

22 Savage Love

Thanks to our contributors: Grant Baldwin, Aerin Spruill, Bruce Brightly, Amber Kelly, Abdul Smith, Joan Marcus, Mrlo, and Dan Savage.

A LINE IN THE SAND

Public School Strong pushes back against the movement to undermine education

BY RYAN PITKIN

Leaving the public forum at a Union County Public Schools (UCPS) Board of Education meeting in mid-July, it was easy to see when the mood had shifted among speakers who had just minutes before walked into the meeting full of fervor.

The half-dozen speakers were there that evening to voice their support for LGBTQ rights in Union County schools as a response to creeping policy changes seen as discriminatory against trans and LGBTQ students.

Having gone back and forth with speakers on the other side of the issue — anti-trans folks who repeated tales of the dangers posed by trans people in bathrooms and made allegations that consensual gender-affirming care is child abuse — the speakers who went in now stood in front of the UCPS Professional Development Center looking exhausted, as if the experience had taken 20 hours rather than 20 minutes.

One woman, a former UCPS teacher who came to speak in support of LGBTQ students, walked directly to her car in tears after having to sit through the vitriol of those who wanted to effectively erase any acknowledgment of the trans community in the district.

Regan Shaw, mother to a rising 10th grader in a Union County school, watched the woman with sympathetic eyes and, before following her to her car to offer support, said, “This is why it’s so hard to get people to show up.”

Out of 17 people who had signed up before the meeting to speak in support of LGBTQ rights, only five had shown up.

Despite the disappointing showing that evening, Shaw has seen progress in Union County, thanks in part to her involvement with Public School Strong, a statewide organization of progressive organizations and advocates who aim to push back against those trying to undermine trust in public schools through

divisive “culture war” issues like LGBTQ rights, Critical Race Theory and book banning.

At a time when Gov. Roy Cooper has declared a State of Emergency for Public Education and groups like the Florida-based Moms for Liberty that aim to undermine public education appear to be gaining influence in the public realm, Public School Strong hopes to rally the majority of parents who, according to recent Gallup polls, support public education and are satisfied with their children’s schooling.

When Shaw heard about Public School Strong, a movement assembled by rural and working-class advocacy organization Down Home NC, on the social media forums she had begun to regular during COVID, she knew she wanted to get involved.

“We really need to organize on a larger level to compare notes and just present a more united front because [Moms for Liberty] have been so dominant in our school board, and really, if you look at the whole county, they’re such a small minority,” Shaw told Queen City Nerve before that mid-July meeting. “They’re just very well-organized. They’ve got all these marching orders from Florida, and the pandemic really gave them this huge boost because the pandemic was tough for a lot of people, and very savvy political actors decided to move on that and use that.”

Shaw grew up in Louisiana but moved to the United Kingdom before the birth of her son. When he turned 10, her family moved back to the States, landing in Waxhaw. She said she wanted to return to the U.S. because schools in the U.K. were separated by gender and most of them were tied to some local church.

“There’s no separation of church, and I didn’t know that,” Shaw explained. “I knew that that’s an American principle, but I didn’t realize the schools were like that there. I just missed a lot about the American public school system, the ethos of them.”

She began attending UCPS board meetings in October 2022, when the Central Academy of Technology and Arts in Monroe announced plans to do gender-neutral casting for their upcoming production of Jesus Christ Superstar

That announcement brought backlash from conservative groups, which showed up at board meetings to voice their disapproval. Shaw attended the meetings with others to stand against those groups.

The controversy resulted in a policy proposal to ban all displays and insignia from classrooms that are not related to curriculum. It became obvious that the policy was built to specifically target Pride flags and insignia.

Plenty of parents pushed back, but the process was drawn out and eventually people stopped showing up.

Shaw, however, continued to speak at each public forum she could. The policy was approved just as the 2022-’23 school year ended, and Shaw continues to demand board members better define what it means for a display not to be related to curriculum.

“There’s so much in teachers’ classrooms that are non-curriculum related but still important to teachers,” Shaw said. “So if you strip that way, you’d have to get dumpsters to empty out the whole school to enforce that policy without it being discriminatory. It would be just a wholesale trashing.”

As the new school year approaches, Shaw and others with the Union County chapter of Public School Strong plan to hold board members accountable for each and every attempt at enforcing the policy.

And they are not alone in the local Public School Strong movement.

The battle of Cabarrus County

According to Down Home NC, there are currently Public School Strong chapters in 30 counties, with 13 more going through the training process. Advocates in 22 more counties beyond those have shown interest in potentially launching a chapter.

In Cabarrus County, Kim Biondi has had a long history of political engagement that overlaps with her 21-year teaching career at Central Cabarrus High School.

It picked up around 2017, when Biondi and her fellow teachers began to realize just how apathetic county leaders had been toward teachers.

They attended school board and county commission meetings to lobby for a supplementary pay raise. Though they succeeded, they made a troubling realization in the process.

“Along the way, several of us realized that neither the school board nor the county commissioners had a good grasp on what was happening in the schools in our county. They didn’t know what the curriculum was. They didn’t know, well, a lot of things,” Biondi said.

GAIL CHAUNCEY (FAR RIGHT) WITH FELLOW PUBLIC SCHOOL STRONG MEMBERS. COURTESY OF GAIL CHAUNCEY

“It was really disheartening and discouraging because I had always just assumed, well, the people who got elected know our schools and know what’s best for our county, and I don’t need to be watching over them. But the more I spoke to them, the more I realized, ‘Oh my God, they don’t know anything. They don’t know about testing. They don’t know what a teacher’s day looks like. They have no idea.”

Biondi and her fellow teachers formed an advocacy group called Cabarrus County Teachers United, which built a presence at school board meetings and on social media. Things worsened during COVID, however, and Biondi began looking for a way out. Convinced that the school board had no care for teachers’ safety and only saw them as babysitters for parents’ children rather than instructors to students, Biondi took a partial retirement in September 2021, the day after her 50th birthday.

“What that did was it freed me up to really be a pain in the ass to the school board, because now they couldn’t do anything,” she said. “Now I was a parent of students but not a teacher and they couldn’t threaten my job or threaten my well-being or anything else that they had been doing.”

At the time, members of the Cabarrus County Schools Board of Education had been working to form a so-called Literature Review Committee to try to remove books from school libraries. Biondi’s group fought it hard, filing suit in the process to prove that board members had worked with extremist parents in the community to get the district’s superintendent fired and replace him with one who would go along with their plans.

The suit, filed in September 2022, resulted in bad publicity for the county and school board, and in that year’s election, two of the more extreme rightwing board members were ousted.

Biondi — who is also a member of Public School Strong and Red, Wine and Blue, another progressive parental political organization in North Carolina — said she used her experience teaching rhetorical strategies as an AP English teacher during the fight.

“One thing that I’ve learned in my time as an organizer is not to use the language the other side uses against you,” Biondi explained. “So when they say things like, ‘Whoa, teachers are disseminating

pornography in schools,’ you don’t counter by saying, ‘Teachers are not disseminating pornography,’ because people tend to forget the argument, but they remember pornography, and so that’s what they associate.

“So we tagged them as often as we could with ‘book banner,’ or ‘somebody who wants to make decisions for my kids.’ ‘I don’t co-parent with book banners.’ We did that as often as we could. And when they started saying, ‘Well, we don’t ban books’ — when they started using the language that we used — I knew we would win.”

the desegregation of schools and how they were the most vocal opponents of desegregation of schools. And you start putting things together. History is never new. It just repeats itself.

“And so I just decided,” Chauncey continued, “along with people like me and Kim and [CMS school board member] Jennifer [De La Jara] and all of us, we realize that this is a cycle that we’re in, but we’ve got to just fight as hard as we can to end that cycle.”

It was a 2014 conversation that Chauncey had with famed civil rights activist and UNC Professor of Law Dr. Theodore Shaw that inspired her to

“It goes back to what Dr. Shaw said,” Chauncey said. “He never really articulated what I understand to be true now, but it really is an inextricable connection between the dismantling and sort of the blowing up of the public education system because it is the great equalizer. We put a whole lot of spins on it, and we try to sort of excuse it away, but these are very simple concepts. Public schools, when they came out and why they became such an issue with desegregation, it’s because it truly is an equalizer.”

Chauncey has hope in what Public School

Strong can accomplish as a coalition, however, with advocates representing a number of struggles and fights — LGBTQ rights, book bans, voucher funding, gun control and safety — coming together as one.

She hopes that, in Mecklenburg County, the ability of Moms for Liberty to infiltrate the seats of power in such a “Blue” area will be a wake-up call for Democrats and progressives to vote — and to do so based on more than a party.

“Groups like this proliferate in Charlotte because they are able to do what they already did, what Tricia Cotham is doing,” she said, referencing the state senator who switched sides to give Republicans a supermajority after being elected as a Democrat. “They’re able to neutralize the power of this blue city. And I think that’s where we’ve got to start letting the public know.

A message in Mecklenburg County

One might think that in a place like Mecklenburg County, with its more urban setting and widespread Democratic representation, a group like Public School Strong may not be as necessary. However, as local PSS member Gail Chauncey can attest to, that is far from the case.

It was during the pandemic that Chauncey became aware of Moms for Liberty and the actions they were taking to shore up influence. When she became aware of the group’s collaboration with the African American Faith Alliance For Educational Advancement, she knew she had to fight back.

“I put it together with the historical influences that groups like Moms for Liberty have had over the years,” Chauncey said. “So you start putting things together. You start looking at white women in slavery, white women in Reconstruction, white women and

look more closely at how conservative members of the North Carolina General Assembly were not only apathetic to the state of public education, but adversarial to it.

“He said, ‘All of us who are in civil rights and who have been part of this movement understand what’s going on here in North Carolina. North Carolina is a beacon, but for the wrong reasons. A lot of this extremism is being tested in North Carolina,’” she recalled.

Since that time, she’s watched as Donald Trump’s Secretary of Education Betsy Devos, followed by groups like Moms for Liberty, have worked to undermine public education in America.

It’s all coming to fruition now as the NCGA passes legislation that takes funding away from public schools to be handed to often-inaccessible private schools through vouchers — legislation that in part inspired Gov. Cooper’s emergency declaration in May 2023.

“That’s the hardest part because when you’ve got such a majority of seats being filled by Democrats, people come on the blue ticket and say one thing and then serve a constituency that just seems to be assuming that they have our best interests at heart. That’s a dangerous, dangerous precedent that we’re setting,” she continued. “And that’s exactly what they are exploiting.”

Despite all of this, and what she’s watched happen over the last decade since her conversation with Dr. Shaw, Chauncey remains hopeful, and in the darkest times when that hope seems out of reach, she pulls out a quote from one of her biggest inspirations, Angela Davis: “Sometimes the future that you imagine to be most dreadful turns out to be the future that compels you to reach down very deeply into your being to uncover reservoirs of strength and perseverance that you had no idea were there and you probably would not have discovered but for the disastrous times.”

REGAN SHAW OUTSIDE A UNION COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS MEETING IN MID-JULY.

PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN

MECKLENBURG COUNTY ELECTION GUIDE 2023

The unmissable municipals

BY RYAN PITKIN

Municipal election season is here once again. In-person early voting for this year’s local primary elections for Charlotte City Council and mayor begin on Aug. 24, ending on Sept. 9, with a second primary scheduled for Oct. 10 if needed. General Election Day for Charlotte City Council, mayor and Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools Board of Education is scheduled for Tuesday, Nov. 7.

There are only 10 early voting sites across Mecklenburg County this year, less than half the amount available during last year’s state and federal elections. For a look at where you can vote early visit tinyurl. com/voteearly2023.

As the mayoral election is citywide and only at-large reps on the school board are up for election this year, the only district races in the city this year are for city council. For a look at where your district is, as well as voting location and other info, check out the NC State Board of Election’s Voter Search tool at tinyurl.com/ VoterSearchNC. Note that if you vote early, you can vote at any of the 10 sites spread across Mecklenburg County this year.

Important Note: Voters in North Carolina will be asked to show identification in order to vote this year. A simple driver’s license will do if you have one, but if you don’t, you can get a No Fee ID card from the DMV (tinyurl.com/IDNCDMV) or get a free photo ID from the Mecklenburg County Board of Elections by calling 704-336-2133, emailing Vote@MeckNC.gov, or visiting the Charlotte office at 741 Kenilworth Ave., Suite 202.

In Mecklenburg County, student or staff ID from Davidson College, KIPP Academy Charlotte, KIPP Change Academy, Lake Norman Charter, Queens University, UNC Charlotte will suffice. This includes older ID cards without expiration dates.

Any voter with a reasonable impediment to showing photo ID (lack of transportation, lost or stolen ID, disability or illness, family responsibilities, etc.) are considered permitted exceptions to the photo ID requirement and will be allowed to vote.

For more info on the new voter ID requirements, visit tinyurl.com/VoterIDNC.

COUNTY

CHARLOTTE-MECKLENBURG SCHOOLS BOARD OF EDUCATION (3 SEATS AVAILABLE)

Annette Albright annette4cms.com

A former CMS employee who sued the district after being attacked by students in 2016, Albright has called for more safety in schools as the education chair for the local NAACP chapter. She called on CMS to improve its handling of reported rapes and sexual assaults in school this year.

Peggy A. Capehart

Capehart is an NC A&T grad and former educator from Fairfax, Virginia, who now has grandchildren in CMS.

Claire Covington claire4cms.com/

Covington is an attorney and mother of two young girls in CMS who serves as a room parent and PTSO board member of her daughters’ public school. She says she wants to ensure “that every child receives an exceptional education regardless of socio-economic status, race, ability, sex, or gender” while making “effective changes to the $2.2-billion industry known as the CMS School Board.”

Bill Fountain electbillfountain.com

This former Air Force Lieutenant Colonel and marketing professional pulls from recent conservative talking points, saying he wants to “invigorate the student-parent-teacher relationship

to include parental rights and values” and “create an environment that values classical education, the child development process, and age-appropriate learning materials.”

Juanrique Hall

tinyurl.com/JuanriqueHall

Hall is a longtime football coach at West Charlotte High School who has in recent years been working closely with young people along the Beatties Ford Road corridor on violence prevention, joining the city’s first Alternatives to Violence program in the area in December 2021.

Omar Harris

Having recently moved to Charlotte from Virginia, Harris is a National Guard veteran who would like to be a voice for teachers.

Shamaiye Haynes

shamaiye.com

Haynes says she saw first hand how the disparities and the achievement gaps are stifling to communities of low social economic status after enrolling two of her children in Title I schools in west Charlotte. She started The Charlotte Community Think Tank “to examine solutions to the complex issues and uplift the community’s voice. “

Rev. Michael Johnson Jr. michael4cms.com

One third of the “CMS Unite Slate” along with Annette Albright and Claire Covington, Johnson is an accomplished musician who pivoted to the business world. According to Johnson’s website, “He strongly supports early investment in children’s education,

recognizing that a solid educational foundation is a critical component to ensuring a better quality of life for future generations.”

Brian Kasher votebriankasher.com

“I am public school educated and a life-long supporter of public education, public school staff, and fully funding the education of our children,” Kasher writes on his website. “I believe in our community, our children, and the CMS staff. My concern as a CMS parent and taxpayer is the School Board and executive leadership.” He advocates for improving safety in schools by updating the district’s bond package.

Tigress Sydney Acute McDaniel linktr.ee/seetigressrun

A candidate for mayor in 2022, during the pandemic McDaniel started a weekly YouTube broadcast called EVOLVE Weekly and began a 52week series titled How To Implement A More Perfect Union, in which she spreads awareness about the legislative process and the roles of legislators. You can watch the series at her Linktree above.

Liz Monterrey monterrey4cms.com

A first-time candidate and daughter of Cuban immigrants, Monterrey drew the endorsement of outgoing at-large member Jennifer De La Jara. Her platform involves putting students first by driving opportunities for them and building a strong sense of communidad

SHAMAIYE HAYNES REV. MICHAEL JOHNSON JR.

Lenora Shipp

shippcampaign.com

With Board Chair Elyse Dashew and De La Jara stepping down, Shipp is the only incumbent running for reelection in this year’s CMS Board race. The West Charlotte grad once worked as a teacher at First Ward Elementary School before becoming principal at Sedgefield Elementary, where her results in closing the achievement gap led to a position as a strategic principal at various other schools.

Clara Kennedy Witherspoon cspoon22.org

Inspired by Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, Witherspoon builds much of her platform around the idea of “viewing the child as a whole person.” She has worked 40 years in human service roles including as a social worker for Head Start early childhood education program, director of a general psychiatric management mental health agency, and a CMS licensed school counselor.

Rev. Dr. Monty Witherspoon

The stated mission of Witherspoon’s campaign is that he “will work to ensure that all students who graduate are college or career ready, have a quality education and a safe learning environment regardless of their ZIP code.” His focuses are on student achievement, safe learning environments, support for teachers, strong community coalitions, and system-wide accountability and transparency.

CITY

CHARLOTTE MAYOR

Vi Lyles (D)

tinyurl.com/MeetTheMayorCLT

As mayor of Charlotte since 2017, mayor pro tem for two years before then, and an at-large city council rep for two years before that, you know what Lyles is about if you’ve been even passively engaged with local politics over the last decade.

Lucille Puckett (D) facebook.com/lucille.puckett.54

Puckett founded Take Back Our H.O.O.D.S. after her 26-year-old son was shot and killed in front of her in her front yard in 2016. She has been a strident antiviolence activist in the city since. Her platform focused on public safety, housing and helping the city’s youth.

Rob Yates (I) lpnc.org/yates

Libertarian Yates says that in his 14 years in Charlotte, he’s “watched this city succumb to the worst perils of government mismanagement.” His platform focuses on student safety (the city does not have any say in education), housing prices and violent crime.

Misun Kim (R) misunkimformayor.com

Kim’s platform includes fighting crime and homelessness, bringing tech jobs to the city, and “reestablishing American values in Charlotte,” which apparently means “disallowing any censorship in the area,” banning the federal government from “taking away” the 2nd Amendment, and working a bunch of COVID grievances regarding mask and vaccine mandates into city policy.

CHARLOTTE CITY COUNCIL AT-LARGE

Dimple Ajmera (D) dimpleajmera.com/

Currently seeking a fourth term on Charlotte City Council, Ajmera represented District 5 in east Charlotte before gaining the at-large seat she currently fills. Her focuses are on public safety, sustainability, affordable housing and economic opportunity.

Ben Copeland

(D)

benforcharlotte.com

Newcomer Copeland says his mission is “to foster a thriving community that prioritizes affordable housing, enhances infrastructure, modernizes the

city, and attracts investment.” Having graduated from the International Baccalaureate Program (IB) at Myers Park High School in 2021, he’s currently enrolled at UNC Charlotte.

Charlene Henderson El (D) charlenehenderson.com

Longtime Hidden Valley community leader Henderson El lost last year’s District 1 primary by just over 1,000 votes after her neighborhood was drawn out of District 4, where she had wanted to run. This year, she runs at-large on a platform of jobs, housing and public safety.

James ‘Smuggie’ Mitchell, Jr. (D) jamesworksforclt.com

In January, a state investigation into a potential conflict of interest involving “Smuggie” found that he had broken no state law in his roles on city council and as a claimed part-owner of R.J. Leeper Construction LLC, a development firm with which the city does business. He rejoined council in 2022 after some years away, and is currently focused on economic development, affordable housing and public safety.

LaWana Slack-Mayfield (D)

votelawanamayfield.com

Like Mitchell, Mayfield returned to council in 2022 after a three-year hiatus. “Our city has changed, the needs of our residents continue to change yet challenges such as housing affordability, transportation, small business growth, taxes & jobs with livable wages have remained,” she says.

Victoria Watlington (D)

Having served as the District 3 rep since 2019, Watlington is attempting to move into a citywide position this year. “I’ve used my engineering, operations, and community service experience to challenge the status quo, craft new solutions, and champion the needs of residents in District 3 and across the city, including drafting the framework for Safe Charlotte and our city’s Corridors of Opportunity plans,” she says.

Steven J. DiFiore II (I)

Having earned his bachelor’s degree in political science from the UNC Charlotte in 2009, DiFiore’s professional experience includes working as a lighting controls specialist as well as in retail, security, customer service, and information technology. He has served as the recording secretary for the Libertarian Party of Mecklenburg County’s Executive Committee

CHARLOTTE CITY COUNCIL DISTRICT

2

Malcolm Graham (D) malcolmgrahamclt.com

Graham served as District 4 rep on Charlotte City Council from 1999-2005 before moving on to the N.C. Senate, where he represented Mecklenburg County for 10 years. In 2019, four years after tragically losing his sister in the Emanuel AME church shooting in Charleston, he returned to city council as a representative of District 2, home of his beloved Johnson C. Smith University.

DIMPLE AJMERA REV. DR. MONTY WITHERSPOON MALCOLM GRAHAM

Gary Linn Young II (D) votegaryyoung.com

A North Carolina A&T State University grad, founder of a sports agency with the NBA, and chairman and president of the CharlotteMecklenburg Black Chamber of Commerce, Young has also served on the board for the McCrorey YMCA, Charlotte Chamber of Commerce, Charlotte Regional Business Alliance, Charlotte Community Relations Committee, Charlotte Business INClusion Advisory Committee, and others.

CHARLOTTE CITY COUNCIL DISTRICT 3

Tiawana Brown (D) tiawanabrown.com

Born and raised in Charlotte, Brown launched Beauty After the Bars after serving four years in federal prison on fraud charges. Through her organization, she helps women who are returning home from incarceration. In April, Brown celebrated the grand opening of her organization’s first Sisterhood Alliance for Freedom and Equality (SAFE) Home in Mint Hill and will soon open more. She’s running to improve public transportation and traffic infrastructure as well as increase workforce development opportunities and public safety.

Melinda Lilly (D) runwithmelinda.com

Throughout her near-decade with the Alliance for Climate Education, Lilly developed and participated in dozens of youth leadership training sessions, digital climate campaigns, and civic engagement projects. She has served as Chair of the LGBTQ+ Democrats of Mecklenburg County and

Chair of Charlotte’s Precinct 230. She’s running on a platform of community, accessibility and integrity.

Warren F. Turner (D) warrenturner.info

Educated in Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools, Turner has lived in the Steele Creek area for more than 50 years. His platform is built on sustainable solutions with lasting impact in the areas of smart growth, transportation, public safety, housing affordability for elderly and young adults, and youth violence.

James Harrison Bowers (R) jameshbowersforcitycouncil.com

A conservative Christian, Bowers has a photo of himself posing with Mark Robinson on the front of his website if you’re curious as to what he’s all about.

CHARLOTTE CITY COUNCIL DISTRICT 4

Renee Johnson (D) reneeperkinsjohnson.com/

Having served on the council since 2019 following 30 years of public service, Johnson says she has unfinished business. “Your right to live in a city that promotes equity for all, economic growth and smart land planning, which is exempt from special interests, is what I will continue to do when re-elected,” she says.

Wil Russell (D) wilrussell.com

As a construction manager based in Charlotte for 20 years, Russell believes he understands the importance of providing families a safe, affordable place to live. Russell’s platform prioritizes an improved transit system, a safer and more affordable community and supporting small, local businesses — enough to have drawn a rare endorsement from Mayor Lyles.

Olivia Scott (D) voteoliviaforcharlotte.com

Scott is a former University of North Carolina Charlotte student and current social media advisor with the Mecklenburg County Register of Deeds. She previously ran for representative on the CMS Board of Education for District 3 but was defeated in 2017.

CHARLOTTE CITY COUNCIL DISTRICT 5

Curtis M. Hayes, Jr. (D) hayesforcharlotte.com

Hayes went viral in early 2020 for his emotional conversation about generational trauma following the death of George Floyd. “We must bring a calm respectful dialogue to find meaningful solutions for the people of Charlotte, let’s cut the drama & cut the privilege,” he says.

Marjorie Molina (D) instagram.com/votemolina/

Incumbent Molina has dedicated her first, shortened term to finalizing a plan for the entire Eastland Yards site. Following her election in 2022, she explained to Queen City Nerve how spending nearly 20 years living in Charlotte, more than half of which in east Charlotte, led her to engage in community work and eventually decide to run for office.

Vinroy Reid (D) vinroyreid.com

Born in Kingsvale, Jamaica, Reid is known as the owner of Mama’s Caribbean, but he’s also a founding member of the African Caribbean Political

Action Committee, serves on the Charlotte Business Inclusion Advisory Committee, and represents Mecklenburg County on the North Carolina State Executive Committee. According to his website, he values education and economic opportunity for business owners, entrepreneurs and grad students and supports living wages for seniors, veterans and working families.

CHARLOTTE CITY COUNCIL DISTRICT

6

Stephanie Hand (D) stephaniehand.com

A former executive operations manager and general manager in the airport industry, Hand lost her race with current District 6 rep Tariq Bokhari by a mere 357 votes. Now she’s back to finish the job.

Tariq Bokhari (R) tariqscottbokhari.com

A three-term rep in District 6 and two-time honoree in Queen City Nerve’s Hall of Shame, Bokhari’s top priorities are economic development for local business owners, improved transit and better public safety through increased funding for the CMPD.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

STEPHANIE HAND

ARTS FEATURE

THE LENGTHS

Two Charlotte creatives set to open much-needed indie performance space

BY BRUCE BRIGHTLY

In a city like Charlotte, it’s entirely possible that even the most actively engaged performing arts audiences don’t realize that they are in the midst of a life and death battle.

“What could possibly be wrong,” they may wonder. “I see so much theatre and dance! I saw something at the Knight Theater on Tuesday, the Belk on Wednesday, the Booth on Thursday, Charlotte Ballet’s smaller space on Friday. We took our niece to see something at ImaginOn on Saturday and then there was a jazz thing at The Stage Door Theater on Sunday.

“There is so much performance! An embarrassment of riches!”

And in many ways, this is true. Of course, all of those hypothetical performances happened inside of the I-277 loop and, with the exception of ImaginOn and Charlotte Ballet, they were all programmed by the same organization and likely written, designed, directed and performed by people who live in New York City.

It would be hard to fault your average Charlotte theater patron for thinking there weren’t actors or dancers living and making work here.

And the reasons for that are Legion. No, not the brewery. What we’re talking about is a little closer to the collective from the New Testament … you know, the demons? But I digress. We are not here to talk about whether or not there are demonic forces or ancient curses at play in keeping Charlotte’s local performing artists struggling for light and air.

We’re here to talk about one major factor and some possible hope for the future; we’re here to talk about space.

Quick! Name five theaters outside of the I-277 loop. There’s Theatre Charlotte in Myers Park, aka The Barn. There’s The Arts Factory at Johnson C. Smith. There’s … um … OK, there’s … Oh yeah, there’s criminally underused theater-cum-lecture-hall The Van Every at The Mint Museum on Randolph Road. Are there others?

Snug Harbor and (especially) Petra’s have picked up some slack by hosting various performance events but they are really music venues and bars,

and anyone who has seen a dance performance at a bar knows they are not spaces designed so the audience can see what actors or dancers are doing. No shade, y’all, just facts.

There are performances at Goodyear Arts sometimes, but it’s certainly not a theater, and the experience can be punishing for artists and audiences (someone please write a grant to cover air conditioning in that place).

A healthy arts ecosystem requires affordable space for people to create and to show their work. When it comes to performance, this becomes doubly important. Theatre and dance are live, time-based arts. They happen right here and right now. You have to have room to move around and you have to have room for the audience. Space.

Without affordable space, the only work that can happen is work that has major funding. Work that has major funding has a lot going for it. It’s usually very nice to look at. It’s usually quite polished and inoffensive. Sometimes it even manages to defy the odds and still have artistic integrity and be emotionally effective. What it is not, oftentimes, is accessible. Accessibility means a lot of different things but, for the sake of this conversation, it comes down to, “Can I afford to be there?” and “Do I feel like I belong there?” This is true of artists and audiences.

So what is needed to supplement our palaces in Uptown are spaces where artists who are up-andcoming, experimental (i.e. weird), or just plain poor can make work and share it with an audience. And these spaces are lacking in Charlotte, which is a huge problem.

This is where brave souls like Matt Seneca and Sarah Hayes Harkins come in. Seneca is an actor and educator with a long established love for tango, the exquisitely slinky and sharp Argentinian dance form. Harkins, a principal dancer with Charlotte Ballet for more than a decade, is equally invested in the formal rigor of Ballet and increasing accessibility to the art form.

The two met during the pandemic and bonded over their shared love for dance and common passion for making dance available to people who

are hungry to move. Harkins tutored Seneca in ballet and he in turn invited her to learn tango.

Out of this came a beautiful artistic partnership that has blossomed into a business partnership as the pair prepare to open The Long Room, an event and performance space located at 1111 Central Avenue, where the east Charlotte corridor intersects with Hawthorne Lane — those borderlands where Belmont meets Plaza Midwood and Elizabeth (think where Green with Envy once stood and where Haylo Healing Arts Lounge still operates today).

What is The Long Room?

Asked about the impulse behind the new venture, operations manager Harkins told Queen City Nerve, “The idea of having our own space for Argentine tango and other types of dance was always there. We talked about a bar/coffee shop, we talked about a studio, we talked about renting the space permanently to another business for revenue, but once the events idea came up it started to stick.”

Founder and owner Seneca added, “Creative people in Charlotte struggle to find space, and we are often at the mercy of those who own space, be it corporate developers who want to see a profit, breweries who need to sell alcohol, churches which are unlikely to host, say, an LGBTQ ecstatic dance party … I wanted to take one big swing in my life and open a space where my value system, one that prioritizes the arts, holds sway.”

Harkins and Seneca are impressive for their creative chops, but what really makes this feel like it might have legs is the fact that there is a business plan in place that provides a fiscal foundation to the project while maintaining a certain level of agility and room for evolution. By positioning The Long Room as an event space available for weddings, receptions, corporate events, bar mitzvahs or drawing down the moon, Harkins and Seneca will fill two neglected niches in the Plaza-Belmont sector: affordable event space and a potential artistic home for the artists and audiences who are more comfortable in the less stuffy environs outside of the I-277 loop.

Who might those artists be? Harkins was ready to go with a list of local dance companies that she admires and hopes to see active at The Long Room, stating, “The scene here is so underground and grassroots, with everyone working for themselves and risking a lot financially to have performances, not to mention performing in spaces that aren’t really safe, dancing barefoot on cement floors in warehouses or rolling around in dirt at an outdoor space of some kind.

“Groups like Ladyfest CLT, Baran Dance, Moving Poets, and Movement Migration are making waves in dance right here in Charlotte and I would love to be able to provide a space for these groups to flourish.”

Seneca’s thinking about the sort of artists he’d like to see working at The Long Room ran a little further afield, highlighting visual artists like Bill Temples and wunderkind Makayla Binter as well as Nouveau Sud’s Jarrell Wallace and Cathy Youngblood’s a capella vocal ensemble Caritas.

If I may throw in my two cents, I’d love to see performances by Charlotte New Play Initiative or Mixed Metaphor Productions in the space — the interesting contours of which lend themselves to imaginative staging.

It’s not called The Long Room for nothing, after all, and in addition to the length of the room, the space features a second-level gallery that looks down on the main floor. I’d love to see what our more imaginative directors and choreographers could do with the surgical theater vibe of something like that.

While the artistic possibilities are intoxicating, Harkins and Seneca remain sober in their assessment of the financial picture.

“We are setting up The Long Room to be friendly to a wide variety of events and social gatherings of all kinds,” said Seneca. “We also hope to infuse the arts into the more conventional events we host by having art available for sale, connecting artists with event hosts, and offering our own dance services.”

“To be fair, we do need a stream of income to get our business model rolling,” added Harkins. “I think balance will evolve over time when we have a better idea of who is most interested in renting the space.”

So what does the future look like for The Long Room? Both Harkins and Seneca imagine a bustling space where a diverse cross section of artists, audiences and citizenry can ply their craft and simply live their lives. They hope that The Long Room will thrive and provide inspiration for other spaces like it. And I hope so, too.

I would love to see The Long Room become not only an event space, not only a performance space, but one of those mythical third spaces — somewhere that people show up to because they know that they will feel comfortable and there’s a good chance they will be delighted and surprised by something.

I hope The Long Room reminds people that, between home and work, there is the city of Charlotte, a place with culture all its own unlike anywhere else in the world precisely because of the people who make their lives here.

The Long Room is scheduled to open in fall 2023. INFO@QCNERVE.COM

QUEEN CITY COMEDY EXPERIENCE SNEAK PEEK SHOW

8/24

8/24-9/3

In a segregated Louisiana army camp in 1944, the murder of a rancorous Black sergeant stirs deepseated animosity and corruption among the soldiers under his command. When a clean-cut captain arrives from the north to investigate, truths are confessed and a shocking secret is revealed. Based in Rock Hill, the Free Reign Theatre Company takes a run at this play, which won the Pulitzer Prize for Drama in 1982 and was adapted to film as A Soldier’s Story in 1984, featuring one of Denzel Washington’s earliest big-screen performances. More: $25; Aug. 24-Sept. 3, times vary; Tom S. Gettys Art Center, 201 E. Main St., Rock Hill; freereigntheatre.com/

THUR PLAY’

SOLDIER’S

Photo by Joan Marcus 8/24-9/3

JOSHUA COTTERINO, RODOLPHE COSTER, RADDRE

Joshua Cotterino’s new wave synths and bouncy refrains summon 1980s icons Depeche Mode, but a closer listen reveals Cotterino’s unforced outsider’s edge. With layers of delay, flange and analog haze, haunting tunes like “No Food for X-Mas,” suggest an alternate ’80s in which outliers like Fad Gadget were as big as The Cure. Legendary Belgian artist and activist Rodolphe Coster didn’t release an album under his name until 2022’s High With The People. Here, post-punk martial beats fold into soaring strings and liturgical chants. On “Racks,” Raddre entwines R&B, glossy production and oddly wistful rap.

More: $7; Aug. 26, 8 p.m.; Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave.; petrasbar.com

ILLOGICAL COMEDY

One would think local comedian Brian O’Neil collected plenty of experience for comedy fodder in his previous job as a school counselor, but either he went to that well too many times as he’s come up over the years or he’s too good for gimmicks. We’re going with the latter. O’Neil hosts this monthly show featuring his own dark thoughts buoyed by performances from fellow local comics Ashley Braswell and Greg Capra. Braswell’s low-energy style lulls listeners into a false sense of safe space while Durham-based Capra has opened for acts like Paul Conyers, Jeremy Alder and Matt White. More: Free; Aug. 26, 8 p.m.; Devil’s Logic Brewing, 1426 E. 4th St.; tinyurl.com/IllogicalCLT

HATTIE’S 2023 SUMMER BASH

Do you think one of the coolest bars in town is going to go out (of summer) like a sucker? The Plaza team is throwing down hard with a whole-ass pig pickin’, all the games you come to expect from Hattie’s and then some, drink specials, and a killer lineup of local music acts. Drop by ready to see performances by King Cackle, Thousand Dollar Car, Omara & Jade Moore, Half Measures feat. Melissa, Lil Skritt, and Whiskey Richards.

More: Free; Aug. 27, 2 p.m.; Hattie’s Tap & Tavern, 2918 The Plaza; facebook.com/hattiesclt

‘A SOLDIER’S PLAY’

Photo by Grant

9/2

TECOBY HINES, KING NOLI AND THE BLEUS

Tecoby Hines does not miss. His 2020 release Drip was recognized as Best Debut in Queen City Nerve’s Best in the Nest that year, and his follow-up projects, 2022’s Days Under the Sun and this year’s Soul Sip have only solidified his place as one of his city’s most insightful and eloquent rappers. He’s joined by King Noli, aka the Magician of Keys, who performed at some of the country’s best-known jazz bars before settling in Charlotte; and The Bleus, a highly talented rapper who’s been setting vibes in Charlotte since moving here nearly a decade ago. More: $12-$15; Sept. 2, 7:30 p.m.; Evening Muse, 3227 N. Davidson St.; eveningmuse.com

More: $12; Sept. 1, 9p.m.; Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St.; snugrock.com

sat SAT

GRAVITY

Instructors with Bloom Movement Artistry — a fringe performance group that focuses on circus arts such as aerial silks, hoop/lyra, straps, sling, trapeze, and dance — welcomes a special guest for this aerial showcase. Enya White, aka Blacktrapeze, is a circus artist from Montreal, Canada, known for her work with Cirque du Soleil, specifically in her signature set piece from the troupe’s Mexican-themed LUZIA show, which sees her swinging through a waterfall and pulling any number of other gravity-defying stunts. She’s performed her signature dance trapeze act & taught circus in over 29 cities in 9 countries. Add Charlotte to the list.

More: $25-$60; Sept. 2, 8 p.m.; Bloom Movement Artistry; 6150 Old Pineville Road; bloommovementartistry.com/

RICOCHET: WORKS IN PROGRESS

Have you ever heard a theatre director — or creative of any type for that matter — claim their work has been shaped by community outreach and engagement only to wonder, “Well, when did that happen?” Here’s your chance to engage with local troupe the Nouveau Sud Circus Project, as they call on the community to help them embark on a new creative journey to address an issue that affects us all: gun violence. With a series of vignettes utilizing their signature acrobatic language and the contemporary circus arts as vehicles, NSCP will look for answers to the recurring questions around gin violence, developed using feedback from these Works in Progress sessions.

More: Free; Sept. 2, 7:30 p.m. & Sept. 3, 3 p.m.; Booth Playhouse, 130 N. Tryon St.; facebook.com/ NouveauSudCLT

THE POWER OF POSITIVE

Sayurblaires spread a message of trans joy

BY PAT MORAN

On “Double Helix,” the energetic tune that kicks off Sayurblaires’ debut album, You No Longer Live Inside My Head, I’m Just Waiting for You to Take Shape, Blaire Fullagar’s treated vocals thread through a cloud of swarming harmonics, coiling electronics and galloping beats.

“The background is in the foreground/ I’m fading into the thickness/ Laugh through war, cry in love just wearing all our weakness...”

Fullagar’s music is consistently upbeat, but the message here is mixed, blending anxiety and doubt with a tentative trust that we can emerge from trials much stronger. It’s a fitting message from Fullagar, who is a trans woman.

“I’ve been isolating in my room while the world forgot the seasons/ You won’t be there to hold my hand, but I don’t think that I need it...”

“The song was written in one day,” Fullagar tells Queen City Nerve. “At the time, I was in a codependent relationship and I was … hoping that I’d be fine independently.”

Inspired by bands like The Brave Little Abacus, Crying, and South Korean outfit Parannoul, which use MIDI tracks and samples to create emo albums, Fullagar set herself the straightforward task of writing and recording an LP with no bass, guitars or drums — just synths, samples and vocals, all played and performed by Fullagar.

It took two years to accumulate and record the tunes that comprise You No Longer Live Inside My Head, I’m Just Waiting for You to Take Shape, a period that coincided with Fullagar’s transition. As the album came together, a narrative of Fullagar’s concurrent emotional journey emerged.

After the album dropped in December 2022, Fullagar’s songs resonated with other musicians, so she adapted the tunes to be played by a full band. Sayurblaires quickly went from being a one-woman show to an ongoing ensemble including bass,

guitars and drums. The band, which includes three trans women musicians including Fullagar, plays an upcoming gig at Snug Harbor on Aug. 26.

Fullagar will also play a solo set during The Milestone’s all-acoustic show scheduled for Sept. 2, alongside Bo White, Bob Fleming Duo and Family Friend.

With Sayurblaires, Fullagar exceeded her songwriting goals, but that hasn’t made her any less modest.

“I don’t think I set out to achieve anything other than expressing myself and making good music,” she says. “I’m still after that.”

From teen beats to woman in the wind

Fullagar took piano lessons as a child growing up in Concord, but says she never got very good. In her teens she started producing beats and writing songs. In 8th grade, at the age of 14, Fullagar dropped her first album.

In 2019, she launched the band Feelings Club with her best friend Chris Clary. The band released an EP, Know All Your Enemies (2018), and an album, A Day in the Sun (2020), swelling to a seven-piece over time.

“Feelings Club made cute and naively produced indie pop,” Fullagar says. “It’s music that people who know very little about music make because they think it sounds fun, cute and emotive.”

Notwithstanding, Fullagar calls her time in Feelings Club a formative experience. Though the band split up in early 2023, members have kept in touch and plan to collaborate in the future.

Fullagar also played keyboards and did production work on the one-off online pandemic project Happiness Jones’ Dream Songs in 2020. She also played keys and provided production for Hey There Rabbit, a band launched by current

Sayurblaires’ guitarist and lap-steel player Colin Read.

In the meantime, Fullagar had moved to Charlotte and written many of the songs that ended up on You No Longer Live Inside My Head, I’m Just Waiting for You to Take Shape. She released “Double Helix” on her birthday: Feb. 4, 2022.

“It was always planned to be the single of an album,” Fullagar says, although the shape and narrative of the album wasn’t yet fully formed. Nothing on the record was written on guitar or piano, Fullagar says. Instead, she drew in notes using the pencil function on her Digital Audio Workstation [DAW].

“I didn’t really perform anything on that album other than vocals,” she says. “Everything is deliberately manual to see if I could pull off an emotive aspect from something so procedure-like and formal.”

Fullagar, who was also transitioning throughout the album-making process, says she received support during her transition but still felt alone. That’s changed since.

“A year or two ago I definitely had friends and family who loved me, but it is incomparable to the support system that I have now in my life,” Fullagar

says.

On Bandcamp, Fullagar describes the completed album with this sentence: “Waking up and suddenly splitting into two. Leading two separate lives in the same body … how can I make this look like a murder and not a suicide?”

“I’m describing transitioning,” Fullagar says “The idea of the album was that pre-transition me and post-transition me split into two different people and they were living on the same timeline.” In this metaphors scenario, post-transition Fullagar was trying to figure out how to murder pre-transition Fullagar.

“Then I came to realize that there isn’t really a pre-transition being,” Fullagar explains. “[Instead] the album asks, ‘Were you even there at all? Was there ever someone who felt shame in the way that I present?’ To put it simply, ‘Was there ever a boy there?’”

Questions about identity and self-acceptance surface throughout the album on songs like “Portside’s a Funny Place, But You’ll Grow to Like it Here,” in which distant disconcerting screaming doubles the cloud layer of catchy childlike vocals amid head-bopping verses and catchy K-pop style choruses.

BLAIRE FULLAGAR

PHOTO BY ABDUL SMITH

MUSIC FEATURE

“You’re trapped in this body/ But how much noise can you make/ When the door isn’t open/ Can anyone hear me?”

The tune, initially entitled “Pressure,” was inspired by a friend, Fullagar says.

“[They were] denying themselves any ounce of pride in being themselves,” she says. “[The song] is my reaction to them building up all this shame in their brain.”

The linchpin of the album is a medley that merges two songs, “Woman in the Wind/All Hail the Queen.” The medley is also supported by Sayurblaires’ debut video, shot by Carl Dudra.

In the video, night falls over a darkening patch of woods. The camera, mimicking infrared night vision, either stalks or suddenly comes across Fullagar, who holds still like a woodland creature and often meets the camera’s gaze. Flashbulbs go off amid stuttering action, and the camera captures Fullagar’s pupils, which glow like the eyes of animal caught in the headlights. This approach imparts a chilly Blair Witch vibe to Sayurblaires’ music.

“The video was definitely inspired by horror [movies],” Fullagar says

With daybreak the mood and melody changes, marking the passage from the turbulent “Woman in the Wind” to the brighter “All Hail the Queen.” A flash cut reveals Fullagar in a summery dress, playing a portable keyboard in a sunlit mountain meadow. A pop lilt seeps into the previously stark and fractured music. To sweet yet robotic vocals and a sweeping Beach Boys-style melody, Fullagar flashes a thumbs up.

“’Woman in the Wind’ and ‘All Hail the Queen’ represent a shift in the album’s theme,” Fullagar says “Whereas the first half of the album is doomed and nihilistic, I’m trying to approach those two tracks with more pride in myself and comfort.”

Fullagar remembers that she and Dudra came up with the camera shots on the fly in the mountains of Tennessee.

“It was a really cold but fun shoot,” Fullagar says.

“I wanted to be out in the cold in a small dress to signify strength, [the idea] of pushing through something.”

The girls and boys in the band

When Fullagar wrote and recorded You No Longer Live Inside My Head, I’m Just Waiting for You to Take Shape, and even after the album dropped, she harbored no notion of the songs being performed by a full band. Gradually, however, the idea began

Ziskind saw Fullagar play at a shows and, like Becht, jumped at the chance to play with Fullagar.

“I thought [Fullagar played] some of the most unique music in the Charlotte music scene,” Ziskind says. “I thought [joining Sayurblaires] was the greatest opportunity ever.”

Sayurblaires is the first band Ziskind has played bass in.

George and Fullagar had met at the first full band bill at Abdul’s, a DIY spot on the Charlotte

add a second guitarist to the lineup.

Fullagar, who plays guitar in the band along with George and Read, has been busy adapting and rearranging Sayurblaires songs for the full band configuration.

“I wrote [the songs] like a guitar would be able to play them, [with] power chords like guitar chords,” she says.

With each song, Fullagar converted the MIDI part to a guitar tab file. Then she edited each tab for all four harmony parts in the band.

“While the songs aren’t exactly like the record, I think they have their own charm,” Fullagar says. “They are a lot more emotional. I have a lot more connection to them now, having played them live now so many times.”

All the changes have been for the best, Fullagar maintains.

I feel [the songs] have more intention behind them than ever before.”

“Three of us in the band are trans,” says Becht, referring to herself, Ziskind and Fullagar. “It’s really cool to see trans women onstage making great music.”

She and Fullagar remember a trans woman coming up to them after one of their shows, thanking the band for being an inspiration. Ziskind hopes all members in Sayurblaires’ audience come away with a similar message.

“Trans people can exist in this world and be safe, happy and surrounded by people who love them,” she says.

to take hold. In early 2023, Fullagar attended a rehearsal by the band Mary’s Letter, a group containing some former Feelings Club members.

“I knew I needed a full band after that,” Fullagar says.

She posted a note on her Instagram story, saying she was seeking musicians for a band. Becht remembers seeing the post.

“I was like, ‘Fuck yeah, I want to play in your band’” says Becht, who first met Fullagar at a show. Becht says she’s played in several groups but has only enjoyed playing in two bands, her main project Rugg and Sayurblaires.

house show circuit. When “Double Helix” dropped, he fell in love with the tune and subsequently responded to Fullagar’s band post. George currently splits time between Sayurblaires and his own project, Bluestone Motel.

When Sayurblaires played its first show in April at The Milestone, Read was in the audience. He had met Fullagar at a show in 2019 and worked with her in Hey There Rabbit.

“I’d been a fan [of Fullagar] for a while,” Read says.

Soon after the band’s debut at The Milestone, Read joined Sayurblaires when Fullagar decided to

Fullagar hopes trans people realize they can be happy, and that a good life is possible. That said, she doesn’t see Sayurblaires as a particularly political band. The group boasts three trans women musicians, Fullagar says, because she thinks community is important, and therefore has a lot of trans friends.

“I definitely lean towards featuring [trans women] in my band over other people who were interested due to the fact that they were trans women, and the narrative of the album largely leans into trans life,” she says, insisting that she does not, however, see Sayurblaires as an activist group.

“A lot of queer art does focus on misery and doom,” she says, “but I consider us a band with a message of trans joy.” PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM

SAYURBLAIRES

PHOTO BY AMBER KELLY

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 23

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Witchaven w/ Traitor, Nemesis, Krvsade (The Milestone)

Massa Nera w/ Raatma, Black Matter Device, The Microbes (Snug Harbor)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Joe Vann w/ Bloomsday (Evening Muse)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Russell n’ Woods w/ Nathan Davis (Goldie’s)

Singer/Songwriter Showcase (Starlight on 22nd)

COVER BANDS

Funk of the ‘70s (Middle C Jazz)

OPEN MIC

Singer/Singwriter Open Mic (The Rooster)

THURSDAY, AUGUST 24

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Blightmoth w/ Oh! You Pretty Things, O’Callah, Complaint Club (The Milestone)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Nathan Angelo w/ Jesse Ruben (Evening Muse)

Woody & the String Pullers w/ Dan Hood (Goldie’s)

A Y2K Party feat. Faye, DJ Pucci Mane (Snug Harbor)

COVER BANDS

Gena Chambers (‘80s Dance Party hits) (Middle C Jazz)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Josh Daniel (Comet Grill)

FRIDAY, AUGUST 25

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill)

EXPERIMENTAL/MIXED-GENRE

Rap & Metal Collide (Multiple acts) (The Rooster)

JAZZ/BLUES

Zach Person w/ Cosmic Collective (Camp North End)

A. Ray Fuller (Middle C Jazz)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Charles Walker w/ Kiera Massi (Evening Muse)

Crawford & Power w/ Matt Minchew (Neighborhood Theatre)

Coughing Dove (Petra’s)

Parker McCollum (Skyla Credit Union Amphitheatre)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Natural Fiasco w/ Leisure McCorkle (Goldie’s)

Sidequest: A Hardcore Rave Night (The Milestone)

Deep Fried Disco (Snug Harbor)

Ape Audio Presents (Starlight on 22nd)

ChemLab w/ Sashimi, Bassarid, Dark Adaptation, Hexxus, Poetic (Tommy’s Pub)

COVER BANDS

Dead Letter Office (Amos’ Southend)

SATURDAY, AUGUST

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Weathers w/ Magic Whatever (Neighborhood Theatre)

Counter w/ Bona Lisa, Neighborhood Alien, Shakey Deville (The Rooster)

Impending Joy w/ Rob Robinson, Sayurblaires (Snug Harbor)

The Bleeps w/ Witch Motel, The Welcoming (Starlight on 22nd)

EXPERIMENTAL/MIXED-GENRE

Joshua Cotterino w/ Rodolphe Coster, Raddre (Petra’s)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Josh Meloy (Amos’ Southend)

Hunter’s Travesty (Comet Grill)

Heidi and the River Down (Evening Muse)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Elora Dash (Primal Brewery)

COVER BANDS

Mandyl performs Frankie Beverly & Maze (Middle C Jazz)

P-Daddies (Visulite Theatre)

SUNDAY, AUGUST 27

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Clutch (The Fillmore)

Ego Death Machine w/ Bend, Ennie Arden, January Knife (The Milestone)

JAZZ/BLUES

Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill)

Vaughan & the Chillcats (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Beatfreaq (Starlight on 22nd)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Square Roots w/ Rod Fiske (Goldie’s)

Seth Fox (The Rooster)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Bronco (Ovens Auditorium)

Celtic Session Sunday w/ Alan Davis & Friends (Tommy’s Pub)

MONDAY, AUGUST 28

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Firebreather w/ Ape Vermin, Mean Green (Snug Harbor)

JAZZ/BLUES

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s)

OPEN MIC

Find Your Muse Open Mic feat. Xtine_G (Evening Muse)

TUESDAY, AUGUST 29

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

26

Jake HaldenVang Band w/ Scoot Pittman (Goldie’s)

Seismic Summer (Multiple acts) (The Milestone)

Red Rocking Chair (Comet Grill)

Forever We Roam w/ Blind Tiger, Voices in Vain, Fault Union (The Milestone)

Guns n’ Roses (Spectrum Center)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Ryan & Woody w/ Matt Stratford (Goldie’s)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Sam on Someday (Evening Muse)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night feat. Jupiter May (Starlight on 22nd)

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

30

Weedeater w/ King Parrot, Shanked (Snug Harbor) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Pete Bernhard w/ Clyde McGee, Lightnin’ Luke, Ryan Lockhart (The Milestone)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Thirsty Horses w/ Lisa De Novo (Goldie’s)

OPEN MIC

Singer/Songwriter Open Mic (The Rooster)

COVER BANDS

Tony Bennett Tribute (Middle C Jazz)

THURSDAY, AUGUST

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

31

Greg Howe w/ Ernest Tibbs, Joel Taylor (Amos’ Southend)

XBound w/ Auroras Hope, When We’re Sober, Ian Perkins (The Milestone)

Drivin N Cryin w/ Stevie Tombstone (Neighborhood Theatre)

JAZZ/BLUES

Roy Daye Jr. (Comet Grill)

Willie Walker & Conversation Piece (Middle C Jazz)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Hip Hop Rodeo (The Rooster)

ACOUSTIC/SINGER-SONGWRITER

Caleb Davis Band w/ Jake HaldenVang (Goldie’s)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Patt and Sara w/ Benji Hughes, Kerry Mac (Petra’s) Stimulator Jones w/ thefamilyorchestra, Taylor AP Williams, Queenie Luv (Snug Harbor)

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 1

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill)

Tu-Ner (The Milestone)

Lynyrd Skynyrd w/ ZZ Top (PNC Music Pavilion)

Daddy’s Beemer w/ Stagbriar, Groove Skeletons (Snug Harbor)

JAZZ/BLUES

Brandon Stevens (Middle C Jazz)

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

‘Spiderman: Across the Universe’ Live in Concert (Belk Theater)

COVER BANDS

Joe Hero (Foo Fighters tribute) w/ Adhesive (Stone Temple Pilots tribute) (Amos’ Southend)

Vinyl (’70s and ‘80s rock) w/ RC Roadshow (Goldie’s)

Bad Romeo (‘80s rock) w/ String Theory (The Rooster)

CHRISTIAN/GOSPEL/RELIGIOUS

Madison Ryann Ward (Neighborhood Theatre)

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 2

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Fractured Frames w/ Detest the Throne, Until they Bleed (Amos’ Southend)

Willingdon w/ Ambyr, Lynsea (Petra’s)

True Lilith w/ Leaving Echoes, Evilleaf, Neptune Flyer (The Rooster)

Three Doors Down (Skyla Credit Union Amphitheatre)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Tecoby Hines w/ King Noli, The Bleus (Evening Muse)

R&B Only Fest (PNC Music Pavilion)

The Social Contract w/ Trvy & The Enemy, Louis. (Starlight on 22nd)

JAZZ/BLUES

Gregg Karukas (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Church of Sinetology (Snug Harbor)

ACOUSTIC/SINGER-SONGWRITER

Kyle Dills w/ Scoot Pittman (Goldie’s)

Bo White w/ Bob Fleming Duo, Family Friend, Sayurblaires (The Milestone)

Joseph Gallo (Primal Brewery)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Intocable (Ovens Auditorium)

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 3

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Kerosene Heights w/ Stress Fractures, Smoke Detector, Tourneforte, Leaving for Arizona (The Milestone)

Venus Invictus w/ A Life Worth Taking, Encre Noire, Caldera (The Rooster)

JAZZ/BLUES

Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill)

Marcus Click (Middle C Jazz)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Jay Hoff w/ Spencer Rush (Goldie’s)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Hazy Sunday (Petra’s)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Wave to Earth w/ slchld (Amos’ Southend)

OPEN MIC

Sunday Open Mic (Starlight on 22nd)

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Red Rocking Chair (Comet Grill)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Spencer Rush (Goldie’s)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Danna Paola (The Fillmore)

VISIT QCNERVE.COM FOR THE FULL SOUNDWAVE LISTING.

SETTING THE BAR

Tattooz & Booz eyes expansion for uniquely successful hybrid model

BY RAYNE ANTRIM

It’s a Sunday in the Queen City and you’re looking for a spot to brunch. You’ve tried all the hyped up spots in South End, Plaza Midwood and NoDa, but none have left a mark that’s stuck with you. But have you heard the buzz building online for the spot in Uptown that, if you’re interested, will leave a mark that lasts a lifetime?

Enter Tattooz & Booz, the restaurant, bar, tattoo parlor and nightlife spot located on East 6th Street that’s garnered as much attention for its hybrid set-up as it has for menu items like the Philly cheesesteak egg rolls, chicken and waffles or salmon and grits.

Kristen Wallace Williams, co-owner at Tattooz & Booz, worked in corporate America before opening the Uptown spot, and continued at her 9-to-5 job whilst taking on the responsibilities of a business owner when Tattooz & Booz first opened up in 2020 during the pandemic.

“It was honestly exhausting. But anything that you want to be successful, you’ve got to definitely put in the time,” Williams explained. “I feel like there were some weeks where we were working 100 hours a week, especially because our concept is pretty much threefold.”

Kristen’s husband, Matthew Williams, first had the idea for Tattooz & Booz more than a decade ago, as the couple has owned a few tattoo shops in the past, but to put these varying concepts together brought a long list of challenges for the entrepreneurial couple.

“It’s long days and long nights, but it’s definitely rewarding. I think we’re all really proud of what it’s morphed into. We never expected it to be as big as it is,” Kristen told Queen City Nerve.

Thanks to a unique concept and top-notch

wall and neon signage adjacent to a huge plasma TV, one of many scattered throughout the restaurant.

A grand staircase in the middle of the restaurant leads visitors to the second level, showcasing more bar space with tattooing and piercing studios toward the back. The second floor also overlooks the ground level, allowing visitors to enjoy every angle of the space.

As the morning brunch rush starts to wind down, the party starts to ramp up. The restaurant transitions into a nightclub of sorts, transforming with purple LED lights and flashing colorful lights as a DJ spins.

When the couple found the two-level space, they were ecstatic. It was important for them to keep the tattoo piece separate from the whole lounge and

The tattoo parlor is located upstairs, overlooking the VIP room. The upper level has a small bar and some high-top tables for dining. The tattoo artists reside on the perimeter of that upstairs space.

“We currently have eight tattoo artists and two piercers who work Friday through Sunday due to higher volume,” Williams explained. “Then on Wednesdays and Thursdays, we run a split crew, so we have about five on hand during the week.”

You can schedule a consultation for a piercing or tattoo on the shop’s website. During the consultation, you have an opportunity to connect with a Tattooz & Booz artist and discuss what kind of work you’d like done, pricing, and scheduling. There’s no guarantee for a same-day service, but the tattoo parlor does take walk-ins, which are offered on a first-come, first-served basis according to availability.

Bites and booze

Aside from its unique concept, Tattooz & Booz is a restaurant first, featuring a delicious Southern-style food menu. They’re known for their brunches on Saturdays and Sundays from 11 a.m.-4:30 p.m.

There are three food and cocktail menus depending on the time of day: Boozy Brunch, Main Booz, and Late Night Booz.

Boozy Brunch turns out a consistent crowd thanks to popular menu items like the shrimp and grits, salmon and grits, chicken and waffles, and French toast.

food menu, Tattooz & Booz built a buzz on social media, allowing Kristen to leave her corporate job and focus solely on the family business. Despite a shaky pandemic start, the spot has become a hub for countless brunch lovers, party dancers, and ink admirers out there.

Setting the vibes

The unique restaurant displays eclectic decor ranging from cow-printed couches, purple-andblack skulled wallpaper, and a huge mural of a traditional Chinese woman with a tatoo of a koi fish on her back. The space is photogenic, with a grass

party vibe, and the space allowed them to keep a bit of separation while still being open enough that visitors can feel the energy across the space.

“We’re a two-level space when you walk in the door. Our front room is essentially our main dining room, where it’s more dining-style tables, and that’s where a lot of our brunch crowd comes in to dine,” Williams described. “As you walk past the initial space, you approach our second room, which is what we consider our VIP room. We have more loungestyle sofas with lower tables accompanied by bottle and cocktail services.”

For the day-partiers, the Main Booz menu consists of traditional lunch items like loaded cheese fries, wings, pineapple fried rice, fried lobster & crab cluster, and a philly steak and cheese sandwich.

The Late Night Booz menu is the perfect mix between greasy bites and comfort foods to get your stomach prepared for a night of drinking. The menu features fried salmon bites, seafood egg rolls, lobster tails, and boozy cupcakes.

All menus include a list of custom cocktails like the Yellow Dragon, Geisha Girl and Pour Decisions.

“Honestly, it’s a really quirky concept,” Williams said when describing the multi-layered business.

“I think it’s an opportunity to come out

PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN A TATTOO ARTIST AT WORK INSIDE TATTOOZ & BOOZ.

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

and experience something people have never experienced before. If I had to define Tattooz & Booz, I would define it as a tourist destination.”

She said that people have come to visit from up and down the East Coast, as the split-level business has become a must-try for out-of-towners who have seen talk about Tattooz & Booz on social media.

“It consists of groups of working class women or people celebrating their bachelorette party. They put us on their map of a place to come and visit when they come to Charlotte,” Williams said.

Their VIP experiences tend to cater toward those types of celebrations.

“Whether it be a birthday, bachelorette party, girls’ day out, bridal showers, or regular club life, we have a VIP package that can fulfill those needs,” Williams said.

Tattooz & Booz offers a Champagne Showers package, a Mimosa Me package, and others that accommodate for all kinds of party sizes.

Of course, as an Instagrammable destination, they’ve got the sparklers and lights and signs you can expect from any nightclub VIP selection, all to be marched out for a special guest or guests.

“We make birthdays a big deal with cupcakes and candles. We try to make it a really fun vibe,” Williams gleaned.

Tattooz & Booz has a DJ every Saturday and Sunday from open to close, making it a vibrant spot

for day-partiers and night owls alike on weekends.

“Most of our DJs are local DJs. We rotate three DJs over the course of a day. Essentially, we’ll have one DJ play brunch, we’ll have another for our day party, and then we’ll have another one during nightlife,” she said.

Events in the coming month include a ’90s party on Aug. 26 from 11 a.m.-2 a.m. with DJs playing your favorite ’90s R&B and hip-hop all day. The Williamses throw two to three ’90s parties each year, as they always receive a huge response from the community.

Staff members dress in dungarees, denim on denim, paisley-and-bandana prints, bucket hats, track suits, and bold patterns—a full day of nostalgic vibes.

“People love it, and they actually come dressed up too. So we get excited. They get excited, and it’s always a fun time,” Williams exclaimed.

Having built Tattooz & Booz into a successful Charlotte destination, the Williamses have formed a vision for expansion.

“Our game plan is to expand. I think our ability to sustain ourselves is really geared around targeting tourist destinations,” Kristen said. “We’ve looked at places like Miami, Las Vegas, Houston—places that tourists are destined to go to. We want to become one of their stops on that trip” she said.

And as we so rarely get to do here in Charlotte, we’ll get to say we had it here first.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN A LOUNGE AREA DOWNSTAIRS AT TATTOOZ & BOOZ.

LIFESTYLE PUZZLES

SUDOKU

BY LINDA THISTLE

TRIVIA TEST

BY FIFI RODRIGUEZ

1. MOVIES: In which U.S. state does the movie “Field of Dreams” take place?

2. FOOD & DRINK: What is sauerkraut?

3. ACRONYMS: What phrase does the acronym GPS stand for?

4. GEOGRAPHY: The country of Guyana lies on which continent?

5. TELEVISION: What is the pub where characters in “The Office” gather after work?

6. SCIENCE: How many karats are in pure gold?

7. PSYCHOLOGY: What is the fear represented by autophobia?

8. ANIMAL KINGDOM: How big is a newborn kangaroo?

9. AD SLOGANS: What product is advertised as “the snack that smiles back”?

10. LITERATURE: Who wrote “The Canterbury Tales”?

CROSSWORD

PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE.

AERIN IT OUT

THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL

Eden of Plaza shows promise in a cursed location

BY AERIN SPRUILL

In a dimly lit nook beyond the second-floor bar at Eden of Plaza, on an eerily quiet night for Midwood’s newest addition, the Queen City’s latest visitor looked oddly at home on a swing that hung in front of a neon sign that read “Guilty pleasures.”

The glow of the red light bounced playfully off her sunkissed Bahamian skin as her long legs swung to and fro, conjuring the most infectious smile. We hadn’t reserved a section, and we didn’t know if we were in one, but as she owned the camera — twisting, posing and tossing her booty-cheek-long tresses — there was no doubt: she was a VIP, she was the forbidden fruit, and Eve could never.

Let me tell you about my new best friend.

Last year, a girlfriend gave me a spirited update on her upcoming European travels with a “high school bestie.” Without even blinking, I knew I’d again exposed my worst character flaw as an only child: jealousy. How could I possibly share in a social corner where she is the Shug to my Celie?

Caught red-handed, I saw the “Now here you go” look flash across her face in combination with a neck roll. But instead of giving me the ever-familiar “talking to,” she smacked her lips as her frown slid into a chuckle and she shook her head, resigned at my singleton shenanigans, and said, “Aerin, y’all are gonna love each other.”

One year and one single bathroom-style compliment via DM, I’m over here earnestly explaining to my boyfriend that said second-hand bestie and I have a highly curated, jam-packed schedule for her upcoming visit to Charlotte. The way his eyes rolled back in his head you would’ve thought I was the chick on the plane screaming out, “No, she is my REAL friend.”

Cut to our first meet-cute, which rivaled that of a Color Purple reunion featuring unplanned matching fits and undeniable chemistry. I knew I’d thwarted my boyfriend’s insurgence. Defeated, he turned to me and said, “Y’all are gonna have fun this week.”

And with that W, my attention turned to our upcoming melandate (yes, I’m trying to make melanin and date happen) at the city’s newest social lounge. Spoiler alert: It’s not in South End.

It’s safe to say most of Plaza Midwood has been waiting impatiently to find out what the hell was actually going on with the accursed building at the corner of Gordon Street and Pecan Avenue. Not because we were missing the cheese

curds at Peculiar Rabbit or because any replacement was going to soothe the loss of other ‘hood staples, but rather the restlessness has seemed to be more a sinister excitement for an impending collective disappointment. Guilty.

I’d forgotten I’d given the @edenofplaza account a follow as rumors of an opening seemed to solidify in February, but was reminded when a ton of influencers promoting the new spot flooded my timeline a couple of weeks ago. This was it. Months of anticipation boiled down to weeks of guerilla marketing only works for a rare few. But on opening night, Aug. 11, the sinners gathered to party like hell. It worked, my interest was piqued, and we were taking a bite for ladies’ night.

For a nightlife destination perceivably off to a “rocky start,” Eden of Plaza seems to have the makings of a Lost & Found in Plaza Midwood [Editor’s Note: Technically Commonwealth, but we go by what the readers know] with the potential for greater impact and the foundational following “to outrun the curse of the corner.”

Think Instagrammable backdrops; an elevated interior boasting plush, velvet furniture, floral wallpaper, and lush deco; thoughtful and inclusive marketing; hookah options; craft cocktails; and a chef-driven menu with lofty munchies.

Eden also stays open later on more nights than its neighbors, features lots of space (with hide-and-seek meets escape room aesthetic) spread out over three levels and a patio. A soon-to-be-complete rooftop will be the cherry on top.

As a Black-owned business, Eden also stands to inject new flavor into the recipe of Plaza Midwood.

Sure, I sound prematurely optimistic after one drink (post-pre-game) on a not-so-crowded night watching a curious best friend-to-be explore a new spot surrounded by women. Obviously, that’s an introvert’s small slice of Heaven.

Devil’s advocate says Plaza’s already congested and parking sucks. Pricing is a bit high across the board, but I’m a dive bar baby with sticker shock. Foot traffic and loose restrictions at surrounding hot spots will challenge dress code requirements. It’s quite the departure from the Plaza “brand,” and let’s face it, Midwood is a whole mood that’s stubborn to change.

But if Eden plays the game right, it could end up being the rib that Plaza didn’t know it was missing.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

23 - 29 AUG. 30 - Sept. 5

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) This is a good time for the usually outspoken Lamb to be a bit more discreet. You can still get your point across, but do it in a way that is less likely to turn off a potential supporter.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Good news: All that hard work you put in is beginning to pay off. But you need to watch that tendency to insist on doing things your way or no way. Be a bit more flexible.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) You might want to delay making a decision on the future of a long-standing relationship until you check out some heretofore hidden details that are just now beginning to emerge.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Your reluctance to compromise on an important issue could backfire without more facts to support your position. Weigh your options carefully before making your next move.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) This is a good time for ambitious Leos or Leonas to shift from planning their next move to actually doing it. Your communication skills can help persuade others to join you.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Relationships — personal or professional — present new challenges. Be careful not to let a sudden surge of stubbornness influence how you choose to deal with them.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) You might need more facts before you decide on a possible career change. On the other hand, you should have no problem making a decision about an important personal matter.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) You’re respected by most people for your direct, no-nonsense approach to issues. But be careful you don’t replace honest skepticism with stinging sarcasm.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) A newly emerging situation could require a good deal of attention and some difficult decision-making. However, close friends will help you see it through.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Ignoring changes in a relationship could create problems later on. Get involved now while there’s still time to work things out and reach an understanding.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Of course you deserve to indulge yourself in something special. But for now, tuck that bit of mad money away. You’ll need it to help with a looming cash crunch.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) A temporary setback in your financial situation is eased by changing some of your plans. You’ll be able to ride it out quite well until the tide turns back in your favor.

BORN THIS WEEK: You have a gift for understanding people’s needs. You have a low tolerance for those who act without concern for others.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) A relaxed mood early in the week could give way to high-temperature disputes. The Aries Lamb should resist being pulled into heated quarrels that could really singe your wool.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Satisfy that practical obligation first, then feel free to indulge in your creative endeavors. Also, check for hidden or overlooked areas where repairs might be long overdue.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Home is still the Twins’ major focus this week, but outside matters begin to take on added importance, especially those involving possible career moves. Stay alert for signs of change.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) A travel plan might need to undergo some considerable adjustments because of unexpected changes. Keep an open mind and let the facts guide you on how you want to handle this.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) Playing cat and mouse with a matter you’ve been avoiding wastes time, energy and, most importantly, an opportunity. Ask someone with experience to help you get started.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) A shift in policy might not please you, but before you put up a “no go” wall of resistance, examine the circumstances. You might be pleasantly surprised at what you find.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Yesterday’s critiques about your methods might have already evolved into today’s praise for your achievements. Good for you. Now go on and continue to build on your credibility.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) An occasional temperamental flare-up might occur, as you continue to help get things back to normal. Stay with it. You should soon get some idea of where to take things next.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) A negative reaction to what you believe was a well-deserved request might mean that you need to reconsider your position and make changes accordingly.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) There’s always room for someone new at the Sea Goat’s table. The someone new for this week could bring a message you’ve been waiting a long time to hear.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) A pile-on of personal matters this week might seem too overwhelming to deal with, but handling them on a one-by-one basis could have you out from under it by the weekend.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) A friend might need your good advice regarding a matter. Be supportive, but unless you can be absolutely sure you have all the facts, also be careful about any suggestions you’re asked to offer.

BORN THIS WEEK: You have a talent for bringing out the best in people, no doubt due to your inspiring work ethic and sensitive nature.

BIT.LY/NERVENEWSLETTER

UPCOMING SPECIAL ISSUES

SEPTEMBER 6 | FALL ARTS GUIDE

OCTOBER 25 | HALLOWEEN GUIDE

NOVEMBER 29 | BEST IN THE NEST

DECEMBER 27 | NEW YEAR’S EVE GUIDE

10. Geoffrey Chaucer.

9. Goldfish.

8. About 1 inch or less.

7. Fear of being alone.

6. 24.

5. Poor Richard’s.

4. South America.

3. Global positioning system.

SAVAGE LOVE MILLSTONES

There’s just no pleasing some people

BY DAN SAVAGE

I’m a man in his forties and my partner is in their 30s and nonbinary. We’ve been together for three years and officially living together for about a year. Things have been a little tumultuous during that time, due to issues with my kids, my kids’ mom, and my own fears about compatibility and commitment. She (my partner) is demanding “relationship milestones” that signify my commitment to her. Previous significant milestones, like becoming official, moving in together, her meeting my kids, etc., were “sullied” (and are therefore invalidated somehow) because they weren’t executed with enough “enthusiasm” or “careful planning.” I would very much like to give her the milestones she craves, but aside from popping the question (and I’m definitely not ready for that!) I’m struggling to come up with “milestones” that would be of sufficient significance. And when I ask for examples, all I get are ideas I’m not ready for, like getting married or getting a cat.

MOVING IN LACKED EMOTIONAL SIGNIFICANCE

First and most importantly: the pronoun situation. You open by identifying your partner as nonbinary but then go on to use she/her pronouns in reference to your partner throughout the rest of your letter. Since you’ve been seeing this person for three years — and since this nonbinary person doesn’t strike me as the kind of nonbinary person who would let misgendering slide — I’m gonna assume your partner is one of those nonbinary AFAB persons who uses she/her pronouns. They’re out there, they’re totally valid, they like to keep us binaries on our toes.

With that out of the way…

The person you’re dating — the person you’re living with — doesn’t sound like someone who is easily satisfied. Becoming official fell short of her expectations, meeting your kids wasn’t magical enough, there wasn’t a 21-gun salute or whatever she expected when you

moved in together … there’s definitely a pattern here, MILES, and it’s a worrying one. I have a hunch that your marriage proposal, if and when you decide to propose, will be another disappointment. The setting won’t be romantic enough, the diamond won’t be big enough, the choreography for the flash mob won’t be flashy enough. Then something will go wrong at the wedding, forever sullying her memories of it; she’ll find a reason to be disappointed by the honeymoon; the cat won’t be the right color; and on and on and on.

Actual life experiences rarely live up to our idealized fantasies and someone who can’t focus on the good — someone who can’t take almost or close enough for an answer — will never be satisfied. And there are some people out there who don’t wanna be satisfied, MILES, and I suspect your partner is one of those people. If constantly finding fault and expressing disappointment means you’re always having to make things up to her, MILES, she’s never going to be satisfied with anything because her ability to point out the sullying detail gives her power over you.

In fairness to your partner, MILES, there’s nothing unreasonable about wanting to be married after three years together. But life is messy and chaotic, and life with a divorced man with children from a previous relationship comes with more mess and more chaos, and an understandable reluctance to remarry. Consequently, a divorced man with kids isn’t an ideal partner for someone who requires perfectly executed grand romantic gestures to be made happy — assuming they can be made happy — and someone who requires perfectly executed grand romantic gestures isn’t an ideal partner for a divorced man with kids.

P.S. Another hunch: If she’s the kind of person who talks about her “birthday week” or, God forbid, her “birthday month,” run. There’s no pleasing those people.

My husband has neurological memory problems. Not Alzheimer’s, but similar in some ways, and it does require me to do a fair amount

for him. I have to remind him of every little thing, fix tons of “problems,” accompany him everywhere (because otherwise he gets lost), etc., etc., etc. The end result is, I feel more like his parent or his nurse or live-in tech support than his spouse. We love each other, but it’s not the same as it was and never can be again. This is very frustrating for him to go through, but it’s also very frustrating for me. He’s the one with a memory problem, but I can’t even remember the last time we did anything more than hug or share a goodbye kiss. Probably not in at least 10 years or more. I’ve basically had to give up a huge part of myself, and I don’t know how to get that back. I feel starved. I feel dead inside. How can I bring myself back to life?

FRUSTRATED AND RESENTFUL

You’re his caretaker now, not his romantic partner, FAR, and you demonstrate your loyalty to your husband by staying, by being at his side whenever he leaves the house, by reminding him to take his meds, etc., etc., etc. As a caretaker, you’re under a tremendous amount of pressure and, if you’re an American, you live in a country that provides zero support for people taking care of chronically ill or disabled loved ones. So, you need to take care of yourself, FAR, and if discreetly meeting up with a lover or hiring a sex worker makes it possible for you to stay married and stay sane — if it makes it possible for you to be the partner your husband needs now — do what you need to do.

I have a sexting partner and we’re about to go from just texts to actually meeting up in real life. But in our text exchanges, we don’t discuss things like condoms, protection, personal hygiene, etc., as everything is strictly fantasy. How do I start incorporating real-life concerns and questions into these fantasies?

FANTASIES EROTIC AND REALITIES SERIOUS

Instead of attempting to do the impossible — and incorporating condoms, protection, personal hygiene, etc., into a fantasy text exchange is impossible — you should send your sexting partner a stand-alone, nottrying-to-be-sexy “concerns and logistics” message after your next sexting session. Let them know there are some practical matters you would like to discuss in advance of your first face-to-face meeting. Then you can bring up condoms, other protections, your expectations around personal hygiene, and anything else you want to discuss before that first meeting.

Additionally, FEARS, if you’ve expressed interest in something during your sext exchanges that you don’t want to experience in real life — not now, not ever — or if you’ve played along with something your sexting partner was fantasizing about that you’re not interested in doing with or for them, now’s the time to walk that shit back.

I know you usually get questions about sex, but I’ve got one about dating. I’m a 41-year-old cis gay man who lives in a large metropolitan area, but for some reason, I cannot establish a dating life. I have tried the dating apps and sites, but the only men who seem to want to talk to me are the BBC chasers (I’m a tall Black man) or guys just looking to hook up. I’m not interested in hooking up, as I’m demisexual and I’m not really interested in someone who’s just after sex. What I want is to find a guy to get to know. I’ve been putting a lot of work into myself over the last few years. I’ve got a life coach and I’ve been seeing a therapist several times a month to help me work through some things from my past. But I can’t help but feel like there’s something I’m either missing or not doing right. I know a lot of guys are just looking for fun, but I don’t want to have to give up the dick just to get to know someone. What advice can you give me regarding finding guys who would be interested in getting to know me?

DATELESS IN DETROIT

There are definitely gay men on hookup apps who wanna take it slow and get to know someone first — I mean, you’re one of those men, right?

That said, every gay couple I know — to say nothing of all the gay Burner polycules I know — are one-night stands that stuck. You obviously shouldn’t waste time on BBC chasers if being objectified like that turns you off. But closing yourself off to guys who are looking for a hookup might be interfering with your search for a date, to say nothing of a partner. Now, you say you identify as demisexual, and I want to respect that, DID, but some people use “demi” to mean, “I experience no feelings of sexual attraction in the absence of an emotional connection,” while others use “demi” to mean, “I wanna take things slow.” If you fall into the former camp, you should take the advice Ann Landers was giving her single readers in the 1960s: volunteer on political campaigns, join clubs, sign up for kickball leagues. Organized group activities — the fully-clothed kind — will give you a chance to get to know people you might wanna date.

But if you fall into the latter camp, DID, you take things slow and have the kind of one-night stands that get gay relationships off the ground. Tell the men you meet online that you wanna hookup, sure, but that you’re only interested in some light messing around, e.g., some mutual masturbation, maybe some oral, but not anything serious/ penetrative will have to wait until you’ve gotten to know them a little better. Guys who don’t like the sound of that will pass, but guys who are open to getting to know you — guys who are willing to work for that dick — will show up.

P.S. You can meet guys on apps and volunteer, join, kick balls, etc., at the same time. You don’t have to pick one. And if you spot a guy from your kickball league on Grindr one night, DID, there’s your opening.

Send your question to mailbox@savage.love; podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love.

J�i� Q�e�n C�t� N�r�e i� d�s�u�s�o�s a�o�t

l�c�l n�w� t�p�c� o�e� c�c�t�i�s w�t� f�a�u�e� g�e�t� o� t�e Q�e�n C�t� P�d�a�t N�t�o�k�

S�a� t�e c�d�