Queen City Nerve - January 24, 2024 by Queen City Nerve

VOLUME 6, ISSUE 4; JANUARY 24 - FEBRUARY 6, 2024; WWW.QCNERVE.COM

News:

Care Ring puts community first

from the

pg. 4

Arts:

Mia Love Live gets her mind right

Heart Val Merza brings her frank, courageous pop to Charlotte stages By Pat Moran

pg. 6

2024 Upcoming Special Issues March 6 • SPRING GUIDE

Charlotte’s annual guide to spring events around the Queen City. Complete with nearly 100 event listings and outdoorsy local content, this is our first big issue of the year!

April 3 • CLT BEER ISSUE With all the focus on the local beer and brewing scene, our annual Beer Issue is booze-centric and catered to introducing you to the people that impact the local beer world.

April 17 • 4:20 ISSUE

We don’t recommend using the actual paper to roll anything up with, but you can enjoy the cannabis-centric content while you do with approved papers. A lot of research is put in here.

Summertime in the city feels real pretty with this guide on just about everything to do with another 100 events listed, and a focus on content we’ve all been waiting for during these cold months.

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June 12 • SUMMER GUIDE As Charlotte’s only dedicated local music news source, it wouldn’t be right to not publish a paper specifically on what is happening in Charlotte music. Find new tunes and grooves in our annual release.

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August 7 • PRIDE GUIDE

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Inclusivity in the CLT rings free in our annual Pride Guide focused on the annual Charlotte Pride festival & parade with all of our content focused on telling the stories of the queer community in the city.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS NEWS & OPINION

4 Crossing the Bridge by Ryan Pitkin

Care Ring’s mobile health care unit embeds in each community it serves 5 Lifeline: Ten Cool Things To Do in Two Weeks

ARTS & CULTURE

6 Get Your Mind Right by Dezanii Lewis

Mia Love Live tackles anxiety with one-woman show

MUSIC

8 From the Heart by Pat Moran

Val Merza brings her frank, courageous pop to Charlotte stages 10 Soundwave

LIFESTYLE

Thanks to our contributors: Grant Baldwin, Aerin Spruill, Dezanii Lewis, Jonathan Golian, Julius Boseman and Dan Savage.

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11 Puzzles 12 Aerin It Out by Aerin Spruill 13 Horoscope 14 Savage Love

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

CROSSING THE BRIDGE

Care Ring’s mobile health care unit embeds in each community it serves

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BY RYAN PITKIN

When Care Ring, the longest operating low-cost health care clinic in Mecklenburg County, launched its mobile unit in December 2022, the organization called the trailer The Bridge because it served as a bridge between health care providers and the community. Having chosen the Grier Heights neighborhood in southeast Charlotte as the launching point for the project — which provides free health care in underresourced neighborhoods throughout Charlotte — the team figured the best place to connect with the community would be the Grier Heights Community Center. After a few months of operating from there, however, the Care Ring team wasn’t seeing the traffic they had hoped for. Then one day, the mobile unit’s driver, Phillip Manning, made a fortuitous visit to the 7-Eleven at the entrance of the neighborhood on Wendover Road. The owner of the convenience store saw the trailer and commented that it would be cool if they could operate out of the parking lot, and just like that a new partnership was born. In May 2023, The Bridge began setting up at the 7-Eleven, as they do every Tuesday to this day, building a relationship with neighbors in one of the area’s most heavily trafficked community spaces. “[The 7-Eleven franchisees] were referring people. They were telling people, ‘Hey, come back next Tuesday,’” recalled Tchernavia Montgomery, CEO and executive director at Care Ring. “So they’ve become a stakeholder. We consider them a partner.” In the year that The Bridge has been in operation, the Care Ring team has formed similar relationships in other communities, including in the North End, where they have partnered with the North End Community Coalition to serve the eight neighborhoods that fall under that organization’s purview.

Queen City Nerve met with leaders of Care Ring and Next Stage Consulting during a recent Thursday set-up for The Bridge in a strip-mall parking lot on North Graham Street to discuss the health care nonprofit’s approach to community engagement. “Too often you just arrive somewhere and you assume that people are going to take advantage of a service that you have, and that’s not the case with us,” said Montgomery. “We want to take time to build that relationship and become a partner. We are not the experts, the neighborhood is. The people that are getting the care, they are the experts. We’re not going to do something to them or for them, we’re doing something with them.” Next Stage Consulting has helped Care Ring implement its “community voice” approach to engagement, partnering with grassroots organizations and community leaders to build dialogue with neighbors and ensure that people are treated based on their own needs rather than the inherent bias that might drive a health care professional’s decision-making process. Care Ring officials know that a person’s zip code has a greater impact on their health than genetic code. Chronic illness is a way of life for many people, particularly in under-resourced neighborhoods, which see higher rates of hypertension, diabetes, obesity and other issues. These conditions are inextricably linked to a number of factors, including location, socioeconomic status and race, which are called the “social determinants of health.” However, it takes more than knowing the broad statistics to actually serve a community. When The Bridge arrives in Grier Heights, North End, or the ABC Store on Wilkinson Boulevard where it also operates, it comes staffed with a multidisciplinary team: a nurse practitioner, a registered nurse, community health workers, and a mental health professional. But there are folks who come before that to

COMMUNITY HEALTH CARE WORKERS OUTSIDE OF THE BRIDGE ON GRAHAM STREET.

begin building relationships in the community. Helen Hope Kimbrough, senior director of community voice with Next Stage, begins the process to ensure that Care Ring’s professionals are coming into an area with “an unbiased approach and a view of the work that we’re doing.” She recalled how she began her work in Grier Heights by walking from her home to the mobile unit location. “I wanted to see what it would be like for a mom to walk with two kids, or for a person who does not speak English or a second language, how would they navigate that?” she explained. “I also wanted to see what type of things would be needed for a person who may be disabled. And so along that walk, I got a chance to kind of embody some of that, because I feel like some of this work people come to with a bias. So how do we pull back all of that so that we can literally look to see the neighborhood — what’s going on, the people, the bus routes, all of those things?” A large part of Care Ring’s work, especially in The Bridge, is to learn the needs of the community and either refer patients to other organizations or bring those organizations on as partners. In The Bridge’s first year in operation, Care Ring partnered with the Local Initiative Service Corporation to help carry out community initiatives, Wellpath for addiction recovery services, Loaves & Fishes and The Bulb to address food insecurity, Mecklenburg County Public Health to carry out HIV and STD prevention or screening, and a number of other local organizations and agencies. Each week they partner with Hearts for the Invisible

PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN

and Block Love Charlotte, two organizations that serve local neighbors struggling with homelessness, to better understand and address the needs of that community. “This is a game changer for an underserved community,” said Deborah Woolard of Block Love, which has offices in the same strip mall where The Bridge sets up on North Graham Street. “They are engaging now and that means the world, because we have people out there with some serious problems, whether it’s mental health or just health conditions like high blood pressure … even from the prenatal perspective. We have women out here that haven’t even had their first prenatal visit and they’re five or six months since their pregnancy. But we have Care Ring to come along and hold your hand and offer you trusted resources. It’s a game changer, and that’s what I love.” Having just passed the one-year mark for The Bridge, Montgomery said the organization is currently working to secure funding for the second half of 2024, as it is currently funded only through the end of the fiscal year in June. Having seen growth both in its number of patients served and community partners, the organization will also continue to analyze how to better serve communities by implementing community voice moving forward. “We do want to engage in practices that we can share with others what’s working for us, why it’s working for us, in hopes that we can all take lessons learned from one another,” Montgomery said. “So we’re trying to also inform the system about how community-based care can operate outside of four walls.” RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM

TANTRUMCON 2024

TALL JUAN Promotional photo

2/1

AN EIGHTEENTH CENTURY EVENING

The North Carolina Baroque Orchestra performs works by Chevalier, Mozart, Handel and more for a night of classical music in an intimate setting at Charlotte Museum of History, with an appearance from music historian and viola da gamba performer Patricia Ann Neely — the first person of color to become a professional on that instrument. Neely will discuss the oft-overlooked works of people of color during the Baroque period, including violin virtuoso, conductor and composer Joseph Bologne, Chevalier de Saint Georges. More: $35; Jan. 25, 6-8:30 p.m.; Charlotte Museum of History, 3500 Shamrock Drive; charlottemuseum.org

When you think of the rise of gaming, what comes to mind? Most likely, it’s e-sports or some other style of video games, but gaming is making a comeback in the analog world, too. It’s estimated that the board game industry took in around $3.39 billion in 2023, and the market is expected to continue growing. TantrumCon is an event for board game lovers and more casual players, featuring an annual tableflipping tournament, hundreds of play-to-wins, tournameals, a dedicated kids gaming area, free tournaments with prizes, NC State Championships, the Catan National Qualifier and much more, all in a family-friendly atmosphere. More: $40-$125; Jan. 25-28, times vary; Le Méridien, 555 S. McDowell St.; tantrumhouse.com

‘A SMALL & HUMBLE ERASURE’ READING

GREG LILLEY, ANDY WOOD, JAKE BACHMAN

The cozy listening/screening room in the back of the coolest video store in creation hosts an evening of folk-inflected roots music by three solo singers, strummers, pickers and songwriters. The eclectic Greg Lilley essays everything from folksy originals that evoke Paul Simon to jumped-up mountain string band covers of Led Zeppelin. Andy Wood takes a more traditionalist approach with hardscrabble, authentic tunes like “Mine Town.” Frontman of progressive bluegrass band The Well Drinkers, Jake Bachman is equally adept at whirlpooling murder COUNTERCULTURE FESTIVAL Photo courtesy of Counterculture Club ballads like “Sally Sorrow” and bucolic high-country 1/27 reveries like “Firefly.” BOOK ENDS ART EXHIBIT OPENING More: $10; Jan. 30, 7:30 p.m.; 3102 VisArt, Golden Galleries, the curators of the Black Fine Art 3102 Eastway Drive; visartvideo.org Fair, return to the Brooklyn Collective with Book Ends - Holding Up The Middle As They Should, MORAT In 2014, a borrowed banjo prompted four childhood featuring the work of six artists: James Denmark, friends in Bogotá, Colombia to shake up the sound Paul Goodnight, Najee Dorsey, Ametria Stamps, of their college band. The result is Morat’s current Kevin Nance West and Anthony Burks Sr. The exhibit blend of sun-dappled Latin pop, rock, cumbias will run through April 27, but you’ll want to make it and corridos spiked with percolating Appalachian for the opening weekend, which includes a reception banjo. All these elements coalesce on tunes like on Friday evening, an artist roundtable plus Tee Tee’s “Cómo Te Atreves,” where cantering acoustic Champagne & Pound Cake Social on Saturday, and guitars, propulsive percussion and soaring four-part an art conversation titled “Framing & Otherwise” harmonies attain an uplifting state of alchemical featuring John Foster on Sunday. perfection. The group’s latest album Si Ayer Fuera More: Free; Feb. 2-4, times vary; Brooklyn Collective, Hoy, reflects Morat’s straightforward yet magical 229 S. Brevard St.; tinyurl.com/BookEndsCLT

RUN ENGINE, FLAME TIDES, IODINE

Andy Wood’s dusky vocals lament as they thread through a kaleidoscope of chiming guitars on Run Engine’s rootsy “I’ve Been Around,” on which he sings, “Nothing gets harder than the words unsaid/ What all seemed white, now it bleeds blood red…” By turns wistful and charging, the Charlotte foursome creates galloping heartland rock with gravitas. With almighty bottom-heavy guitar riffs and nimble, emphatic drums, Charlotte’s groovy power duo Flame Tides combines the attack of a hard bluesrock combo with the ambitious melodic reach of psychedelic art rockers. Rampaging yet right combo Iodine fills the bill. More: $10; Feb. 3, 8 p.m.; The Rooster, 334 W. Main Ave., Gastonia; theroostergastonia.com

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Cherry Community Organization (CCO) member and local playwright Stephanie Gardner presents a play about a true story that she played a role in alongside her neighbors in 2021, when the CCO opposed the efforts of a local arts organization that wanted to move into the historic Morgan School, which the neighborhood organization had been fighting for the right to retain ownership of due to its significance to the historically Black neighborhood. Gardner’s play asks the question, “What happens when the desperate need for performing arts space collides with a community’s right to preserve their realist lyrical approach. MOM ROCK, REGENCE, LATE NIGHT ancestral legacy in the segregated South?” More: $49.50-$64.50; Jan. 31, 8 p.m.; Ovens More: Free; Jan. 26-28, times vary; VAPA Center, Auditorium, 2900 E Independence Blvd.; boplex.com SPECIAL Drawing inspiration from classic weird-beard artists 700 N. Tryon St.; tinyurl.com/HumbleErasure like Weezer and Talking Heads, Boston-spawned TALL JUAN, CASSETTIQUETTE, 1402 Mom Rock has been touted by Rolling Stone as COUNTERCULTURE FESTIVAL At 6 feet, 3 inches, the always eclectic, sometimes one of the best young rock bands in the world. From pop songs to TV shows, references and exotic, Buenos Aires-born, U.S.-based Juan Zaballa The power-poppy dork-rock foursome earns those reminders of drinking are everywhere, with alcohol earns his moniker Tall Juan. On early efforts like Olden accolades with tracks like the jaunty and snarky on virtually every menu. For those who are in Goldies (2017), Zaballa pushed ’60s girl group sounds shuffle “Grand Romantic Life,” and the chugging, recovery, pregnant, nursing, or simply don’t want to (“Baby’) and hiccupping rockabilly (“Falling Down”) roaring and sardonic “Conversation.” Charlotte drink, their options are limited. That’s what inspired through a Spanish-language punk-rock wood chipper. alt-rock trio Regence crafts tunes like the chiming Molly Ruggere to create a movement to push back By Atlantico (2020) he began experimenting with the clangorous “Beautiful Stranger” that doppler down on the belief that a social life must revolve around Afro-Latin music of his youth. On “Get Over It,” Akron, on you like an oncoming freight train. Hearing Late drinking. The second iteration of Charlotte’s first Ohio indie-rockers 1402 blend raw impassioned Night Special’s jaunty yet unsettling roots-inspired non-alcoholic beverage festival will feature a new vocals with grinding rhythm guitars and soaring six music is like catching a glimpse of a ghost in the pop-up Bev Shop, giveaways, tastings from more string fills. With vibrant Charlotte indie pop-rock glare of the noonday sun. than 20 top brands and more. outfit Cassettiquette. More: $12; Jan. 25, 8 p.m.; Petra’s, More: $37-$94; Jan. 27, 2-7 p.m.; Camp North End, More: $14; Feb. 1, 9 p.m.; Snug Harbor, 1919 Commonwealth Ave.; petrasbar.com 1228 Gordon St.; snugrock.com 1701 Keswick Ave.; countercultureclub.org

ARTS FEATURE

GET YOUR MIND RIGHT Mia Love Live tackles anxiety with one-woman show

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BY DEZANII LEWIS

There’s nothing easy about anxiety, but when it comes to dealing with it, hiding from the issue is the most simply way out. Putting it on full display to discuss in front of thousands of people is another thing entirely. But if that’s what it takes to address something often considered taboo, then that’s what Mia Love Live is willing to do. Drawing on her experience as a radio personality, poet and writer, Mia Love Live is the force behind This is My Brain on Anxiety: The Detailed Experience of an Anxious, Black Woman, a one-woman show that focuses on navigating through life as … well, an anxious Black woman. While she has toured the show around colleges in the Carolinas such as Appalachian State and Wingate universities, the creative Charlotte native will host a homecoming production of the act at Booth Playhouse on Feb. 10. She told Queen City Nerve it’s all about drawing attention to an uncomfortable topic. “I just want the influence and the impact to be great so that people will start to have the conversation about their mental health, their wellbeing, and what it looks like,” she said. “A lot of people are probably sitting around like this is the norm. I don’t want people to feel like that’s okay, because it’s not. It’s not the norm. It feels like the norm because that’s the only thing you’ve done for so long.” We caught up with Mia Love Live in the lead-up to her February show to discuss the creation of This is My Brain on Anxiety and what comes next, among other topics. Queen City Nerve: How do you describe This is My Brain on Anxiety to people? Mia Love Live: I have created, produced, directed, performed in a one-woman show called This is My Brain on Anxiety, The Detailed Experience of an Anxious Black Woman. The show is a five-part,

creatively curated show that details the experiences, literally, of a Black woman dealing with anxiety. The Black woman is me, but also, people who’ve seen the show will sometimes feel like it’s them. That’s how relatable it is. What inspired you to do a one-woman show as opposed to a full cast production or some other medium? Before this show in 2021 — that’s when I first debuted the show — I was doing a show, a mini web series called So Anxious, and it starred me. I was the person that it was centered around. So genuinely, This is My Brain on Anxiety, is an extension of that, a little bit more in-depth, a little bit more, obviously, longer, because it was a mini web series. And that’s really where it was fun. It’s just an extension of where I had the show, where it focused on my life. Other people were in it, but it focused on anxiety, and I just was the main character. So I brought that over to the stage. I don’t think it was my intention all along. I wasn’t like, “Oh, I should do a one-woman show.” I think as I kept MIA LOVE LIVE creating it, that’s what it fell into, and it worked. How does it feel to know that people are feeling seen by this production and its specific topics? What do you say to people who tell you that? This shows for people like you, right? Because I think you’re like, “Yeah, I’ve just gotten used to it. I suffer in silence.” But also, the thought is that you’re the only person who could be dealing with it at that height. You’re like, “No one could possibly be feeling that, too.” You just don’t think anyone else is feeling it that way. The show is also to point out, like, “No, sis. No, bro. No, human. It’s not just you. Here’s how it’s been for me. Here’s how I’m working through it. Here’s the lens that I view it through. These are the things

PHOTO BY JULIUS BOSEMAN

that I’ve gone through. These are the things that I’m conversation about mental health within the Black trying to overcome. These are the different facets of community and even in other communities as well. anxiety and mental health in general.” So it is for I hope that it acts as, like, it caught on fire and now people like you where you’re like, “I’m the only one.” the fire is spreading. I want you to get some therapy. No, you’re not. And here’s how we’re going to start I want you to talk to somebody. It’s okay to talk to this convo up. somebody because that’s the thing, too. Within the Black community, I think we’ve grown up to believe What does that conversation look like? that you don’t talk about your problems a lot, right? My attempt with this show was to start the Or don’t talk about things outside of your head or conversation of mental health within the Black outside of your home or outside of your family, community, because traditionally, we don’t usually when in some cases, a lot of cases, you should talk talk about it. It’s kind of taboo. And so I wanted to to somebody outside of that space, because that’s make it a conversation starter. It’s kind of funny. probably the more sober brain. If you’re anxious and It makes you cry, makes you laugh. It makes you you are having issues, why would you give yourself think it’s like a mirror. And I just wanted to start the advice? That would be anxious advice, would it not?

ARTS FEATURE You’re going to give yourself an anxious resolve, and it just is going to continue to talk your way out of something or talk your way into something. With your anxiety, where do you get the courage to do a one-woman show? Child, your guess is as good as mine. I really don’t know. I sometimes sit back genuinely, and look at that. God, I guess; that’s the difference between just doing something and, like, purpose. Purpose gives you that drive. Sometimes I’m like, “Yo, what is making you say, ‘Yes, we’re going to do this?’” And then a lot of times, it’s not within a long period of time that I have to do these things. So that also makes me question myself. But I don’t know. I think it’s God, and I think it’s purpose. And I think somewhere deep in me, I understand and believe that it is purpose. And I believe that is the thing that gives me the courage and the drive to even do it.

the stories of different people. I dressed up as them, [acted] similar to them, changed my voice in some of them, changed my mannerisms for some of them. But I tell people the whole show is literally a love letter. It was just to teach people who aren’t from here about this beautiful city. Sometimes some people who come here just kind of think of Charlotte as just what it is now. But it has not always been this. Also to reminisce and to show the beauty of Charlotte and remember Charlotte to the people who are from here, or who have been here for a long time, who remember these places. It was like a big trip down memory lane. And that connection to be there with my audience. It was a beautiful show. It was a beautiful time. I talked about home, and I show love for the city that raised me. So what’s next for you? Do you have any other ideas in the pipeline or any productions that you and your team are working on? Well, right now, I think I am very careful to not overdo it, bombard myself, pile things on myself. I am learning, and I learned through a book years ago called The One Thing: Sometimes you have to focus on the one thing instead of all the things. So it’s not that I don’t have ideas. I have ideas every single day, but you got to focus on your focus. And so I did Sincerely, Charlotte and then I think after that, I said, “I will do other shows in surrounding cities,” but focusing on This is My Brain on Anxiety and how to expand that, how to grow that, how to nurture that, how to continue to cultivate it, and setting up a tour for it and going to other places. Right now it’s just focusing on taking it to other cities as well as how can I utilize that offstage MIA LOVE LIVE PERFORMS ‘MY BRAIN ON ANXIETY.’ with smaller kids? Performance and storytelling and writing and mental wellness practices in which I created a program called Stories, which I am implementing with young girls of color in high school and middle school. So that is a way of expansion. But in terms of productions, really, it is focusing on cultivating and growing and bettering This is My Brain on Anxiety.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

PHOTO BY JULIUS BOSEMAN

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What has your own journey through anxiety looked like? [I have struggled with anxiety] since I was about 13. Okay, so now I will say this: I am in a better space than what I used to be in dealing with it. I meditate now. Meditation is like a must for me. It’s how I keep my head clear. It’s how I keep things from surfacing or when they surface. I can quiet them. I know how … That’s how I’m able to do a one-woman [show]. So everything that I’m telling you in this show is what has happened to me or currently happening to me. The evolution of it, the rise and the falls, the laughing. Every emotion that you feel in the audience is the same emotion that I have felt in that space with anxiety. Sometimes you just got to laugh at it because it’s like, “God, this is stupid.” And then sometimes you cry, right? Because you just really feel like, “Nah, I don’t want to live the rest of my life like this.” And then it’s all of the above. But I’ve gotten a lot better. But I’ve also done the work. I’m doing the work and I’ve done the work. It hasn’t just gotten better just What do you hope people take from the show because things get better with time. on Feb. 10? When I’m on stage, one of the things that I hope Your previous production at Blumenthal was that people feel is love — love live. I’ve embodied called Sincerely, Charlotte. How does that it. It’s always present wherever I go. It’s a part of me. relate to This is My Brain on Anxiety, if at all? Well, they don’t necessarily relate. They both are This is My Brain on Anxiety will show for one me — a Love Live production, one-woman show. night only on Feb. 10 at the Booth Playhouse. Visit But Sincerely, Charlotte was genuinely a love letter blumenthalarts.org for tickets. to my city. I am born and raised in Charlotte. I told

MUSIC FEATURE

FROM THE HEART Val Merza brings her frank, courageous pop to Charlotte stages

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BY PAT MORAN

In mid-January, singer songwriter Val Merza took to Instagram to explain why her music had been deplatformed. “I’ve been dreading making this video,” she began. Merza shared that Spotify had taken down her vulnerable yet indomitable debut single, “This is My 23,” claiming that 100% of the more than 14,000 streams the tune had garnered were fake, further accusing Merza of buying streams. Fighting back tears, she denied the streaming platform’s allegation. “I am obviously devastated, because I have worked very hard,” said the full-time musician, who already has more than 60 gigs lined up for 2024, not counting the shows she’s played thus far. Rather than rail against the arbitrary rulings of a godlike social media platform, however, Merza detailed her plans going forward. She canceled the planned Jan. 26 release of her follow-up single, “Hey Stranger,” vowed to never release anything on Spotify again and instead uploaded the tune to Bandcamp on the same date. The single’s release will be celebrated at a Jan. 27 gig at Tommy’s Pub. “I don’t want my gratitude to get lost in this message,” Merza concluded, thanking her fans with vivacity, charm and honesty — attributes that are hallmarks of her crowd-pleasing relatable tunes like “This is My 23.” Here, a plangent descending guitar line nestles and spoons with Merza’s open, slightly quavering vocal: “Half my friends, they hate the drama/ But the other half, it’s like high school never ends/ And dating is such a fucking pain/ Guys in their 20s, they’re all insane/ But guys in their 30s play the same old games…” “It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that I was played by a guy in his 30s,” Merza tells me a few days before the Spotify debacle. The 25-yearold artist’s confessional, autobiographical lyrics indicate that this latest obstacle is not her first rodeo in the hardship sweepstakes.

In fact Merza has had it worse, much worse, having overcome life’s obstacles with disarming openness, insatiable curiosity and boundless energy. “[Here’s a] hot take, people are generally good,” she says. It’s a surprising sentiment given her frequently harrowing upbringing. “I didn’t grow up in a very safe environment,” Merza says of her formative years in Bergen County, New Jersey. When pressed for details about her abusive home, she gives her only terse answer of the interview. “[It was] emotional, physical and otherwise. Both parents,” she replies. “There was sexual abuse too.” At age 14, she was involuntarily checked into the first in a series of treatment homes. “I had a lot of mental health issues,” she offers. “To be blunt, I was trying to off myself every few months. I didn’t really want to live if I had to live VAL MERZA with [my parents].” ability to play [guitar].” Music proved to be a welcome escape. Merza A 9-to-5 job in wealth management brought learned to play contemporary 2010s pop on Merza enough stability that she started playing keyboards — Katy Perry, Shawn Mendes and Taylor cover songs at open mics in New Jersey and New Swift. She avoided her father’s instrument, the York on a weekly basis. She wrote just a handful of guitar, like the plague, but then at age 15 she heard tunes, the first being “Whatever it Takes,” sparked by “Therapy” by All Time Low. The tune resonated with a doomed long-distance relationship with a guy in Merza, and she taught herself to play it on guitar. Montreal. The song remained unfinished until the

Out on her own

On her 18th birthday in 2016, Merza moved out of her parents’ house, moving in and out of homeless shelters for the years to come. She took out a restraining order on her parents, who she says harassed her regularly. After putting herself through Ramapo College on a degree completion program geared for adult students, Merza earned a degree in Social Science. She began working full-time amid bouts of homelessness. Merza was fielding admissions from a handful of law schools when she suffered a stroke, precipitated by a traumatic family event that she prefers not to elaborate on. “The left side of my body doesn’t work the way it used to,” Merza says. “It has definitely affected my

PHOTO BY JONATHAN GOLIAN

Upon landing in the Queen City, Merza looked for work, but couldn’t find a position in wealth management because she wasn’t licensed by The Financial Industry Regulatory Authority (FINRA) in North Carolina. Searching for something to make ends meet, she focused her energies into becoming a full time performer. “It was a survival tactic,” Merza says. “It was, ‘If I couple broke up. The end of the relationship spurred don’t do this, I’m going to be homeless again, just in Merza to finish the tune. a different state with less support.’” Meanwhile, it occurred to Merza that there was To get exposure and find community, she started much more to life than Bergen County, New Jersey. playing open mics at venues including The Great Her inner monologue at the time is documented Wagon Road Distillery in Waxhaw, Smokey Joe’s Cafe in “This is My 23,” written right after Merza’s 23rd & Bar in east Charlotte, Pineville Tavern, Common birthday. Market Oakwold, and The Evening Muse. “I had graduated from college at that point and I Performing came easy to the self-described was thinking, ‘God forbid I meet somebody up here extrovert. Also, there is another aspect of Merza’s and I get a better job. I’m never going to leave,’” personality that can make her seem particularly Merza remembers. fearless. So, she picked up and moved to Charlotte in “I’m autistic,” she says. “That throws a wrench into June 2022, not knowing a soul within 700 miles. things because I don’t pick up on social cues a lot of Along the way, Merza was ripped off by her moving the time. I can train myself, and I have, but that only company, so all her worldly possessions consisted of goes so far when your brain is not wired to pick up a handful of identification documents, some clothes on certain things.” and her Taylor GTe Urban Ash guitar. Merza essays tunes by artists including Taylor

MUSIC FEATURE Swift, Ed Sheeran, Halsey and more at venues throughout the region, traveling as far afield as Augusta, Georgia and Nashville, Tennessee. She frequently slips some of her originals into the cover sets. “I can play an original song, and because of the way that I play it, you couldn’t tell if it was my original or an obscure niche pop song that you haven’t heard before.”

writing the tune three weeks after she met her now ex-boyfriend. “I’m a songwriter, and that is what we do,” Merza says. “The first time I played that song I was at The Evening Muse with my ex in the front row with all our friends.” “And that night I cried on the floor/ And I, I told you about my father/ You kept me safe, kept me warm/ Now just hold me for a little longer…” Given Merza’s personality, it was only natural that she played such a candid and unguarded song Making original music In the meantime, Merza began booking ticketed in public, in front of the tune’s inspiration, even if it shows where she exclusively plays her growing risked making some in the audience uncomfortable. “I’m loud and impulsive, and I say a lot of crazy cache of original songs at venues including The Milestone, The Rooster in Gastonia, Tommy’s Pub, shit into the mic,” Merza says. “I’m dramatic [and] I put people in the spotlight who don’t necessarily and Starlight on 22nd. “I met someone very soon after I moved here,” want to be.” In spite of, or perhaps because of, these Merza says. “Obviously — new partner, new city, new home … It inspires you. So I started gushing characteristics, Merza realized that she had a knack for connecting with audiences. out songs.” Some colleagues advised her to create an alter One of those songs is “Hey Stranger,” which debuts despite Spotify on Jan. 26. Merza started ego for herself, she recalls, so that promoting

PHOTO BY JONATHAN GOLIAN

Zac Robins of Mirror Game, convinced her to record and release her debut single, “This is My 23.” The tune was cut at Robins’ home studio; he played on it, mixed it, mastered it and produced it. Merza was happy with the result, but vowed to become more involved in the production process. When it came time to record follow-up single “Hey Stranger,” Merza took the advice of Robins and another musician friend Kevin Goodwin, bringing the song to Chris Suter’s Ginger Cat Sounds in Fort Mill South Carolina. “It was my first time in a pro studio,” Merza says. She discovered so much personal and musical chemistry with Suter that the project expanded to the five-song EP Colors. One of the songs on the forthcoming EP is a re-recorded version of “Hey Stranger.” Merza credits Suter with helping her expand her musical vocabulary so she can better communicate what she wants to hear on a song. “For example, I was saying, ‘The vocals sound very far away,’ and Chris would say, ‘Oh, you want compression.’” Merza says. “Then [I’d say,] ‘I want it more echoey.’‘Reverb?’ [He’d say] ‘Yes!’” Colors drops on May 10. In the meantime, Merza’s fans can celebrate the release of the original version of “Hey Stranger” at Tommy’s Pub on Jan. 27. In addition to Merza, the bill includes Kevin Goodwin, Mirror Game and soul jazz violinist Emanuel Wynter. Merza will leave her Taylor GTe Urban Ash at home and focus on singing with a full band, including lead guitarist Robins and Wynter as well as rhythm guitarist Dahmon McCoy, bassist Zak Ferrell and drummer David Gibson. Merza hopes the audience comes away from the show with the feeling that people have way more in common with each other than they realize. Thinking about the effect of music on listeners, Merza remembers coming offstage after playing one of her songs at the Evening Muse. A girl came up to her crying. “She said, ‘I just got my heart broken last week, and you made me feel just a little less alone,’” Merza says. “In that moment, I felt like I had already made it, [with] people telling you that your music did something for them. Everything else is just a bonus.” Merza acknowledges that sometimes she still does things that don’t make sense to others. “But people appreciate that because it’s real,” Merza says. “I’m not trying to create an image around myself.” PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM

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VAL MERZA RETURNS TO TOMMY’S PUB ON JAN. 27.

herself would feel less uncomfortable . That tactic is anathema to Merza, who can’t help but be herself. Likewise she’s shunned advice to avoid betweensong chatter. She believes that a performer simply singing songs is less relatable for the audience. “People want to know that what they’re investing in is authentic,” Merza says. “People appreciate the person behind the artist.” She acknowledges that her open approach can be a double-edged sword. “The beauty about it is that some people know me because they have heard my lyrics,” Merza says. “The downside is that people think they know [all about] me because they’ve heard my lyrics.” Despite her ease performing onstage, Merza was initially resistant to recording and releasing any of her music. “Part of it was because I was scared that it would confirm my insecurities as a musician,” Merza says. Playing extensively to make a living had also left Merza little time to learn production. The few professional recording facilities she had toured convinced her that recording her material would prove too costly. Then one of her closest friends, Charlotte musician

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 24

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 3

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The Coyotes w/ The Sour, Hotel Hugo (Snug Harbor)

Plain White T’s (The Underground) Moving Boxes w/ Room 213, Roamck, True Lilith (The Milestone) Iodine w/ Run Engine, Flame Tides (The Rooster) Kind Hearted Strangers w/ Pocket Strange, The Sammies (Snug Harbor)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

David Childers & The Serpents w/ Tin Roof Echo (Evening Muse)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC Shannon Lee Duo (Goldie’s)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

CHRISTIAN/GOSPEL/RELIGIOUS

Dave Barnes w/ Steve Moakler (Visulite Theatre)

COVER BANDS

Chicago Rewired (Middle C Jazz)

OPEN MIC

Singer/Songwriter Open Mic (The Rooster) Variety Open Mic & Songwriters Circle (Starlight on 22nd)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Aarik Duncan (Evening Muse) Mayer Hawthorne (The Underground) Jordan Sledge (Starlight on 22nd)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Layton Giordani (Blackbox Theater)

THURSDAY, JANUARY 25 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Dan Hood Trio w/ Garrett Huffman (Goldie’s) Physical Digital w/ Gie, Glass (The Milestone) Mom Rock w/ Regence, Late Night Special (Petra’s)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Crank Boy Talent Showcase (The Rooster)

JAZZ/BLUES

Karen Briggs feat. the Boundless Band (Middle C Jazz)

EXPERIMENTAL/MIXED-GENRE/FESTIVAL Black Notes Project (Knight Theater)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Val Merza w/ Kevin Goodwin, Mirror Game, Emanuel Wynter (Tommy’s Pub)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Shana Blake’s Musical Menagerie (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar) Wild Party w/ Cousin Simple (Neighborhood Theatre) No Visa: Domii, Alec Lomami, Bshingu, Shaanti, Sergio Silva (Snug Harbor)

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Opera Carolina: Madame Butterfly (Belk Theater) Doom Flamingo w/ Kendall Street Company (Neighborhood Theatre)

COVER BANDS

Maiden Voyage (Iron Maiden tribute) (The Rooster)

Opera Carolina: Madame Butterfly (Belk Theater)

COVER BANDS

Infinite Soul (Middle C Jazz)

FRIDAY, JANUARY 26 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill) Deaf Andrews w/ White Toledo, Wild Love, Satellite Dog, Kids and Their Computers (Amos’ Southend) Victim Complex w/ Brass Tongue, Reviler, Jelous Mind, Cramped Casket (The Milestone)

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Young Death God w/ Momophobia, Demiurge, SWAE (The Milestone) FIDLAR (The Underground)

JAZZ/BLUES

Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill) Khani Cole (Middle C Jazz)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Bourbon Sons w/ Tommy Keys (Goldie’s)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

CHRISTIAN/GOSPEL/RELIGIOUS

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Patchwork (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar) Lil’ Flip w/ Benny Holiday, Ikabod Krayne, XKitzo (The Rooster) Bryan Martin (Coyote Joe’s) Gyth Rigdon w/ Matt Stratford (Goldie’s) The Tan & Sober Gentlemen w/ Holler Choir (Neighborhood Theatre)

EXPERIMENTAL/MIXED-GENRE/FESTIVAL Black Notes Project (Knight Theater) Lil Skritt w/ It’s Snakes, TBD Brass Band (Petra’s)

Sam On Someday (Petra’s)

Winter Jam 2024 (Bojangles Coliseum)

Opera Carolina: Madame Butterfly (Belk Theater)

COVER BANDS

The Sixties Show (Knight Theater)

MONDAY, JANUARY 29

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

JAZZ/BLUES

COVER BANDS

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Opera Carolina: Madame Butterfly (Belk Theater) Deep Fried Disco (Snug Harbor) Latin Dance Night (Starlight on 22nd)

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SUNDAY, JANUARY 28

Rumours ATL (Fleetwood Mac tribute) (The Fillmore) Sol Fusion: I Love the ‘80s (Middle C Jazz) Badmotorfinger (Soundgarden tribute) (Visulite Theatre)

SATURDAY, JANUARY 27 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Jackyl w/ Shaker (Amos’ Southend) Bad Idols w/ Skyway 61, My Blue Hope (The Milestone) Me Like Bees w/ Whistler, Alexa Jenson (Petra’s) The Aint Sisters Band (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar) Biking with Francis w/ (Snug Harbor)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Gyth Rigdon w/ Bald Brothers (Goldie’s) Patrick Davis (Visulite Theatre)

For Fear Itself w/ Sink With Me, Burn Absolute, Encre Noire (The Milestone) The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s) Zack Reader (Thomas Street Taven)

OPEN MIC

Find Your Muse Open Mic feat. Clay Johnson & the Hard Promises (Evening Muse)

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 31 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Beartooth (The Fillmore) Cancerslug w/ No Anger Control, The Girls, The Good Good Grief (Snug Harbor)

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Red Rocking Chair (Comet Grill) A. J. Croce (Knight Theater)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Greg Lilley w/ Andy Wood, Jake Bachman (VisArt 3102) Dark ‘n’ Dirty (Skylark Social Club)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night feat. The Smokin’ J’s (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

JAZZ/BLUES

Patrick Lamb (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ Tape B (Blackbox Theater)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Will Overman w/ Justin Wells (Evening Muse) Morat (Ovens Auditorium)

OPEN MIC

Singer/Songwriter Open Mic (The Rooster) Variety Open Mic (Starlight on 22nd)

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 1 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The Groove Skeletons w/ Muddy Ruckus, Something Comforting (The Milestone) Joseph w/ Sister (Neighborhood Theatre) Modern Moxie w/ North By North, The Orderlys (Petra’s) Tall Juan w/ Cassettiquette, 1402 (Snug Harbor)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Writer’s Round w/Kim Ware & Rick Spreitzer (The Rooster)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

NC Bluegrass Jam Night (Birdsong Brewing)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Matt Walden w/ Annelle Staal, Zack Couron (Evening Muse) San Holo (The Fillmore)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Shana Blake’s Musical Menagerie (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

COVER BANDS

Love Rules feat. Paul Oakley Stovall, Mario Yniguez (Stage Door Theater) Colby Dobbs & Friends: A Tribute to Michael McDonald & The Doobie Brothers (Middle C Jazz)

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 2 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill) Babe Haven w/ Added Color, Wastoid, Oh! You Pretty Things (The Milestone) Harvey Street Co. w/ The Great Indoors, Fo Daniels (Snug Harbor)

JAZZ/BLUES

That 1 Guy w/ Zephyranthes (Evening Muse) Robyn Springer feat. Rodney Shelton (Middle C Jazz)

Frankie Beverly & Maze (Spectrum Center) Charlotte Symphony Orchestra: Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. 3 (Belk Theater) Distant Worlds: Music from Final Fantasy (Ovens Auditorium)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Funk Wondo w/ Space Lazers, Warp Street Band (Starlight on 22nd)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC Elizabeth Moen Duo (Evening Muse)

COVER BANDS

Excitable (Def Leppard tribute) (Amos’ Southend) Love Rules feat. Paul Oakley Stovall, Mario Yniguez (Stage Door Theater) Havest Moon (CSNY tribute) (Visulite Theatre)

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 4 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Lenny Federal Band w/ The Underground Detour Band (Amos’ Southend) Pure Bliss w/ No Grave, Beshiba, G.O.W., Dryrot (The Milestone)

JAZZ/BLUES

Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill) Reggie Buie (Middle C Jazz)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Jeffrey Martin w/ Kadey Ballard (Neighborhood Theatre)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ Hazy Sunday (Petra’s)

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 5 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The Sheckies w/ The Ruff’tons, The Bleeps, A Life Worth Taking (The Milestone)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Emily Nenni (Neighborhood Theatre)

JAZZ/BLUES

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

OPEN MIC

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 6

Jackson Dean (Coyote Joe’s) Kyle Kelly Band w/ Austin McNeill (Evening Muse) Josh Abbott Band (The Underground) Daley (Neighborhood Theatre) King Noli w/ Alan Charmer, ICH (Petra’s) Lamar Atkins (Starlight on 22nd)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Big Something w/ The Ries Brothers (Visulite Theatre)

TUESDAY, JANUARY 30

Town Mountain w/ Tray Wellington (Neighborhood Theatre) Wes & The Railroaders w/ Matt Southern & Lost Gold, Ryan Lockhart (Petra’s)

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Charlotte Symphony Orchestra: Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. 3 (Belk Theater)

COVER BANDS

Nirvani w/ SICKMAN (Alice in Chains tribute) (Amos’ Southend) Love Rules feat. Paul Oakley Stovall, Mario Yniguez (Stage Door Theater)

Find Your Muse Open Mic feat. Brian Ashley Jones & Melanie Jean (Evening Muse)

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Static-X w/ Sevendust (The Fillmore) Veil of Maya (The Underground) Red Rocking Chair (Comet Grill)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ Dark ‘n’ Dirty (Skylark Social Club)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night feat. The Smokin’ J’s (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar) Tosco Music Open Mic (Evening Muse)

VISIT QCNERVE.COM FOR THE FULL SOUNDWAVE LISTING.

LIFESTYLE PUZZLES

TRIVIA TEST

BY FIFI RODRIGUEZ

1. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: What is the last name of Ken, who was SUDOKU BY LINDA THISTLE Barbie’s boyfriend? 2. TELEVISION: In the sitcom “The Office,” the company is in which U.S. city? 3. GEOGRAPHY: In which country is The Matterhorn located? 4. MUSIC: Which 1990s group was the singer Beyonce a part of? 5. U.S. STATES: In which state is Monument Valley located? 6. LITERATURE: In which children’s book do the characters Tweedledee and Tweedledum appear? 7. MATH: In Roman numerals, what is XLVIII divided by XII? 8. MEDICAL: What is a common name for polythelia? 9. CHEMISTRY: How many elements are listed on the Periodic Table? PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW 10. MOVIES: What is the year ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS of the Olympics in the movie ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE. “Chariots of Fire”?

CROSSWORD

Advertise With Us

Pg. 11 JANUARY 24 - FEBRUARY 6, 2024 - QCNERVE.COM

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

AERIN’ IT OUT

TIKIS AT TOMMY’S Advertise With Us

Pg. 12 JANUARY 24 - FEBRUARY 6, 2024 - QCNERVE.COM

An east side story

BY AERIN SPRUILL

Asking your girlfriend what she wants for dinner usually sets you up for that scene-turnedmeme from The Notebook in which Ryan Gosling pleads desperately with Rachel McAdams, “What do you want?!” In our house, the question is, “Let’s go somewhere new tonight. Got any ideas?” That’s when the deliberations begin. The Conspiracy? Eh, no parking. Pisco Gastrolounge? Too novel to consider. Trio? Haven’t we been there? A club? Absolutely not! Down the rabbit hole I go, combing Reddit threads on the hunt for fresh dive bar meat and, unsurprisingly, Tommy’s Pub, 2023’s Best in the Nest’s crowd-favorite for nightlife, reigned supreme. Finally, a proposition he couldn’t resist, especially when it was for “Uncle Jerry’s Tiki Sunday.” Formerly a beloved staple for locals in Plaza Midwood, Tommy’s Pub closed due to redevelopments in 2015, but in 2017 found a divinely auspicious home as one of the hidden dives of the east side. And the bar’s “roots” — read: cult-following, focus on local music, and historical narratives — laid since 1977, followed them. As you snake your way through the massive parking lot at Eastway Crossing Shopping Center, passing by “strip mall staples” like Cricket or Sally Beauty and other displaced Plaza Midwood refugees like Book Buyers and Dairy Queen, newcomers may overlook Tommy’s, which is located at the end of the strip nearest US Foods Chef Store. Look for the bright yellow “PUB” sign hanging above the entrance and you’ve found the gold at the end — or beginning — of the rainbow. In the cold of winter, a few patio chairs and tables strewn about may deceive a passerby into thinking it’s not busy, but the inside paints quite the juxtaposition. The OG posters, mindful mess, seemingly active retro register and classic furniture pieces in the back deliver a sensory hug at “Papaw’s fave pub” for a 30-something. Pause. Inhale. Smells like my new fave watering hole sans fried food. On Sundays, the smiling face of Jeremy Radio sporting bright red eyeglass frames and long, silver fox-status locks behind the bar dismantling the

unapproachability stigma of dive bars from the jump. So much so that when Jeremy, aka Uncle Jer, aka Best Mixologist of the Year in Queen City Nerve’s 2023 Best in the Nest issue, aka Sunday’s Uncle freakin’ Jerry, asked us, “What would you like to drink?” I didn’t know what to say as I stared cautiously at the tiki menu just out of reach on the bar. Whiskey-coke and a cider for the first round. “Have you tried the Painkiller?” a voice said in my direction next to me. Though the warm energy gave “regular,” it was her first Tiki Sunday too, which gave me the confidence to drink my Austin Eastcider dry with the quickness. I about-faced to the bar for both featured tiki (put-you-on-your-ass) cocktails during a patron’s monologue on the failures of Saltburn and wins of Brightburn and thought, “Major green flag for my ‘Cheers’-searching soul.” In a later follow-up DM to the man of the hour, Jeremy, who is also a well-known musician in Charlotte (Thousand Dollar Movie, Crenshaw Pentecostal), @jeremyradio explained the inspo behind Uncle Jerry’s Tiki Sundays. “I’ve been a touring bass cat for almost 20 years and would always shake up tiki drinks after the show on the bus or at the hotel for the rest of the bands and it was just a fun hobby,” he said. “I’d find an old tiki recipe book and try stuff out whenever I could at home or on the road. We [at Tommy’s Pub] decided to try a tiki pop-up and it went so good I asked if I could do it every week!” Thank the powers that be. Within a bleak nightlife landscape, Tommy’s Pub is and stands to be a welcome silver lining, offering a unique blend of something old and something new while remaining unchanged at its core. From regulars and “vintage” pricing to nonalcoholic offerings and Tiki Sundays, Tommy’s reimagines the possibilities for dive bars that disrupt a stale nightlife scene while standing for diversity across the board and still paying homage to the unstuffy, hyper-local focus. “What’s your hope for CLT nightlife’s future?” I asked Jeremy. Not surprisingly, his response centered music.

“So many people are moving to CLT constantly, some friends and get out of your routine.” but we aren’t seeing local shows grow tremendously,” As Charlotteans turn their eyes to the shiny he replied. “I think we have an amazing music scene new toys of nightlife that are quickly cannibalizing and would love to see these great local venues and chunks of the heart of Charlotte’s scene, I turn my bars doing better. And just for more people to give gaze to the east side, the pièce de résistance, where the rad small bars a shot, I love how many kinds at places like Tommy’s Pub, the community is queen of bars CLT has right now from fancy mixology to and everyone is welcome. shitholes […] Try a new spot occasionally and make INFO@QCNERVE.COM

LIFESTYLE

HOROSCOPE

PUZZLE ANSWERS

2024 KING FEATURES SYND., INC.

JAN. 24 - Jan.30

JAN. 31 - FEB. 6

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) You might be hurt by a colleague’s harsh criticism, but don’t let it shake your confidence in what you’re trying to achieve. A more positive aspect starts to appear by week’s end.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Is that Arian self-esteem in need of shoring up? Best advice: Do something that will make someone feel good about themselves. It will make you feel proud that you did it.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) You’re torn between your sensible self and the part of you that enjoys acquiring lovely things. Best advice: Wait for an end-of-month sale, then buy something wonderful.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) It’s time to prove to your detractors that you’re way ahead of them when it comes to getting things done. So, be sure to avoid surprise distractions and complete that project as soon as possible.

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR CANCER (June 21 to July 22) You could be drawn into a CANCER (June 21 to July 22) You’ve done well on your NEWSLETTER problem between friends or family members. Best bet: own, but now could be a good time to consider advice GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Be careful not to waste your precious energy on frivolous matters that don’t advance your goals. Stay focused. There’ll be enough time for fun and games after you reach your objective.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Your eagerness to act on a challenge is wisely tempered early in the week by a lack of necessary information. Things begin to clear up during the weekend.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) There’s a possibility that you could be goaded into making a statement you might regret. It’s important to stay cool no matter how heated the conversation gets.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) A relationship you’d hoped would keep going seems to be going nowhere. Close it out and move on to a brighter romantic aspect that is just beginning to manifest itself.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) A recent sad experience can become a valuable lesson. Examine it well and take what you’ve learned to help you make an important upcoming decision.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Things don’t go completely as planned this week, but enjoy the surprises, even if you have to adjust your schedule. Some of them could be quite delightful.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Lingering problems in a personal or professional partnership still need to be resolved so you can move on. Insist on more cooperation from everyone involved.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Making choices is usually easy for straight-shooting Archers, but a new development could deflect your aim. Try to put off major decisions until you know more.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) That recent problem that made you feel emotionally trapped and physically exhausted is gone. Don’t dwell on it. Instead, make new plans and set up other goals.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) While part of you might prefer taking a more familiar path, let your more daring and -- admit it -- supercurious self see what the unexplored has to offer.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Your creative talents combine with a strong domestic aspect this week, which means you can start on those home-improvement projects that you’ve been planning for a long time.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Those nasty types have slithered back under the rocks and will not present any more problems. Now’s the time to move ahead on that promising new relationship.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) It’s a good time to anticipate an upcoming change in the near future. This could mean taking on a new career, going off to a new city or moving into a new home.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) A new offer could clear up that lingering money problem. Also, a more confident attitude on your part might help get that personal situation back on track.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Soon, you should be learning more about the motives of those who continue to pressure you into making a decision that you’re still unsure about. Use this information wisely.

BORN THIS WEEK: You have a way of turning chaos into BORN THIS WEEK: The flow of your generosity seems order. You’re also generous with your help for those who to have no limit. However, you’re smart enough to know seek it. when it’s time to cap it.

Get our community reporting delivered straight to your inbox every Mon., Wed. & Fri. BIT.LY/NERVENEWSLETTER

Trivia Answers

LEO (July 23 to August 22) A belated New Year’s “gift” could create a problem if you feel unwilling or unable to adjust your plans and accommodate the new development. Check out all options before deciding.

Pg. 13 JANUARY 24 - FEBRUARY 6, 2024 - QCNERVE.COM

LEO (July 23 to August 22) As much as you love being the center of attention, your big Lion’s heart impels you to share the spotlight with a colleague who helped you with that well-praised project.

6. “Through the LookingGlass.” 7. IV (Four). 8. Having an extra nipple, which affects about 1%-5% of the population. 9. 118. 10. 1924.

Ask the questions that go to the heart of the matter, then from confidantes, as long as you continue to let your own get them all together for a group hug. instincts be your primary guide.

1. His full name is Kenneth Sean Carson. 2. Scranton, Pennsylvania. 3. Switzerland. 4. Destiny’s Child. 5. Arizona.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Your artistic side has practical applications this week, perhaps with redecorating your home or redesigning your personal stationery. Whatever you choose to do, someone special will like it.

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

you’re willing to meet up at least twice to make a real connection, we might be a match. If you’re not willing to make even a minimal investment of time and energy, we’re definitely not a match.”

SCRIPT DOCTOR

There’s a chance I’m engaging in some dickful thinking here. I’m a late-30s, non-binary, queer transmasc who passes as a man. I have a circle of outdoor “activity buddies.” It’s not a sexual thing, more of a we-go-hiking-and-camping thing. I took a shine to one of these friends on our first group trip. He’s strong and an athlete, and yet he’s incredibly sweet. This friend is a few years older, divorced, with nearly grown kids. He’s one of the few in the group that I’ve told I’m trans. After a recent overnight group trip, I realized that I have a crush on my cis-and-probably-het friend after he opened up to me about his kids (one of whom is non-binary!) and a recent date with a woman. I don’t know if it’s insane to want to tell him how I’m feeling. For what it’s worth, my spouse also likes him and telling Spouse how I was feeling inspired us to talk about moving toward a more open marriage. Now I keep having daydreams about landing this guy as a FWB and sharing him with Spouse. Am I, as the kids say, completely delulu here? Is there a chance in hell that my friend would be down for a little experimentation with my exotic self? (I haven’t had bottom surgery.) Is this a case of “you can’t know until you ask”? If so, can you give me a script? LONGSHOT LONGING

SAVAGE LOVE

It’s all in the delivery

Pg. 14 JANUARY 24 - FEBRUARY 6, 2024 - QCNERVE.COM

BY DAN SAVAGE

I’m a cishet woman, married 20 years, three kids at home. My marriage is generally happy but it’s also sexless. Being “companionate” was his decision, not mine. The absence of sex is driving me crazy, so my husband has given me his blessing to get sex elsewhere. It’s tricky, though, as it’s hard for me to be sexually attracted to someone without feeling a special connection. I’ve tried the apps, but the thought of discussing the mechanics of sex with someone I’ve just met on Hinge or Bumble or whatever leaves me cold. The thing is, I periodically develop crushes on male colleagues. I work in a project-based industry where everyone works on three-to-four-month contracts. We come together, work hard, get to know each other quickly, and then head off to new jobs. So, fucking someone I met at work feels like the perfect solution. And there is currently a guy at work that I’m having the most intense flirtation with. The flirting is off the charts and it’s driving me insane. But he’s happily married with a child at home. So, how do I find out if he wants the same thing I do? I get the impression he desires me as much as I do him, but this doesn’t mean he wants to have sex with me. I also don’t want to cause drama or accidentally blow his life up. I just want to have sex with him. There must be other people out there in sexless marriages or open marriages who have hall passes like mine but how do I find out if he is one of them? Do I have to ask? Can you give me a script? I don’t want to offend him or make things awkward, even if the awkwardness only lasts the few weeks until the end of our contracts. I would also hate to be accused of inappropriate workplace behavior. What can I do? WORKMATE ONLY WONDERLAND On the one hand … your workplace crush could be flirting with you because you’re a married woman with a husband and kids at home and he assumes your marriage is monogamous — most straight marriages are — and regards flirting with you as harmless because, one, he hasn’t been paying attention to evolving standards of workplace conduct and, two, he doesn’t think there could be any repercussions — personal or professional —

because [see 1] and you’re a married woman, WOW, and so nothing sexual and/or dramatic and/or actionable can happen. On the other hand … your workplace crush could be flirting with you because he wants to fuck you and he may even have his wife’s okay to fuck other people — he may, like you, have the hall pass he needs — but he’s kept the flirting within the zone of plausible deniability because, one, he actually has been paying attention to evolving standards of workplace conduct and, two, he doesn’t know if you’re allowed to fuck other people and doesn’t want to cause drama or accidentally blow your life up. On yet another other hand … he may not be flirting with you at all, WOW, and your sexual deprivation (and desperation) has induced a really bad case of clitful thinking. If you wanna make something happen — if you wanna fuck this guy or even know if fucking this guy is a possibility — you’re gonna have to risk asking him if he wants anything to happen. And seeing as you asked me to script this for you, WOW, I’m gonna assume you’re willing to run the risk. So, I’ve written your lines for you, WOW, now you all have to do is memorize them (and your best impression of Meg Ryan, circa 1993): “We’ve been flirting — at least I think we’ve been flirting — please stop me if I somehow got the wrong impression — but if we have been flirting, I wanted you to know — before our contract ends and we go our separate ways — that my marriage is open. I don’t want to leave my husband — I truly love my husband — which means I’m no threat to your marriage. So, if your marriage is open or companionate or something close, we’d be a really good match — as affair partners go — since I don’t want to take you away from your wife and child. I just want to fuck your brains out and I’m pretty sure you want to fuck mine out. What do you say?” Finally, WOW, since hitting on coworkers isn’t a risk you’re gonna wanna take regularly, and since this particular workplace crush is going to leave town when your contract ends whether he’s down to fuck or not, I’ve taken the liberty of drafting some suggested language for your profile on Binge or Humble or whatever: “I’m a loving, stable, companionate marriage and I’m not looking to leave my husband. But I don’t feel sexual attraction in the absence of actual affection. So, if

So … you’re not only hoping Crush is attracted to men and/or is willing to make an exception for a man with a vagina — which some online types consider transphobic — you’re also hoping you’re that man, LL. And that’s not all: You’re hoping your marriage can smoothly transition to not just open, but poly, and that Crush is just as into Spouse as Spouse is into Crush. That’s a lot to hope for. While Crush could be bi or pan or open to sleeping with trans men who haven’t had bottom surgery, LL, it sounds like he’s straight. And if Crush joined this we-gohiking-and-camping-but-not-fucking group because he was seeking meaningful friendships with other men — too many straight men report having no friends at all and more straight men should join groups like the one you describe — your “ask” may not only derail your friendship, LL, but ruin this group for Crush and Crush for this group. Given that the odds that Crush is heteroflexible or bi or willing to make an exception for a trans man who hasn’t had bottom surgery — and you’re that man — are slim, and that the odds that, even if he’s into you, he’d be into Spouse, whom he’s presumably never met, are even slimmer — I would urge you to keep your mouth shut for the time being. If he begins to telegraph any interest in you at all, if he gives you some unambiguous

sign, then you can make the first move. (First moves are asks, not lunges; use your words, not your hands.) And even then, LL, you should open by asking for the “no” you’re hoping not to get: “I have a crush on you — if you’re not interested for any reason, please tell me and I will absolutely take your no for a final answer. And if this makes things awkward between us, I’ll do whatever you need me to do to get past the awkwardness, including giving you all the space you need, including skipping the next few overnight group trips.” I’ve recently entered into a long-distance relationship with someone six years younger. This may not seem like a huge age gap, but since we’re both in our twenties, it feels significant. I’ve been told by everyone in my life that I’m too old for him and that the affection, support, and commitment he’s flinging my way is due to his age and lack of experience. All my friends say that once he’s gotten older, he’ll move on to someone else. So far, it’s been the most loving and serious relationship I’ve ever been in, despite the fact that it’s long distance. I think if we were in our thirties the six-year age gap wouldn’t be important, but since the difference between 22 and 28 can be vast, I don’t know how to proceed. I feel some overwhelming judgment from close friends, and everyone is telling me to get out because he’ll probably leave me anyway. He’s very committed and looking for ways to move to my city, even though it’s only been a little over a month. Should I take him seriously? What do I tell my friends? And what if they’re right? CONTINENTAL AGE DIFFERENCE Tell your friends this: “Most relationships don’t work out. People meet, hookup, feel like they’re really into each other, and then it fizzles out for whatever reason. But it can’t work out — nothing ever works out — if we aren’t at least willing to give it a chance. And I’m going to give this a chance.” That said, CAD, this boy’s willingness to move to the city where you live after four weeks is a pink flag. Tell him you want to keep seeing him but unless he was already planning to move to your city for some other reason (work, school, whatever), you wanna keep doing longdistance thing for at least another six months. Because as good and right as this may feel four weeks in, it’s too soon for a move that big. If he can’t hear that without melting down, that’s a bad sign. If he’s willing to wait, that’s a good sign. P.S. I met a guy when I was 30 who was only 23 — and we’re still together 29 years later. P.P.S. Find better friends. Got problems? Everyone does! Send your question to mailbox@savage.love; podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love.

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Pg. 15 JANUARY 24 - FEBRUARY 6, 2024 - QCNERVE.COM

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