Queen CIty Nerve Issue 8_2019

MARCH 13 - MARCH 26, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM

Food:

burnt out in the service industry p.22

News:

It takes a Foster Village p.6

With Flying Colors

Just wing it with Spring Guide 2019

MARCH 13 - MARCH 26, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM

Food:

burnt out in the service industry p.22

News:

It takes a Foster Village p.6

With Flying Colors

Just wing it with Spring Guide 2019

Pg. 2 Mar. 13 - Mar. 26, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM

Charlotte’s Cultural Pulse

NEWS & CULTURE STAFF

PUBLISHER • Justin LaFrancois jlafrancois@qcnerve.com EDITOR-IN-Chief • Ryan Pitkin rpitkin@qcnerve.com

EDITORIAL

ASSOCIATE EDITOR • Courtney Mihocik cmihocik@qcnerve.com STAFF WRITER • Pat Moran pmoran@qcnerve.com

ART/DESIGN

ARTS

10 A Cross-Town Haunting Two new Charlotte plays work on many levels

By Perry Tannenbaum

SPRING GUIDE 2019

12 Bloomtown: What To Do When It Finally Warms Up

ART DIRECTOR • Dana Vindigni dvindigni@qcnerve.com

LIFELINE

ADVERTISING

MUSIC

SALES MANAGER Stephen Lane • slane@qcnerve.com To place an ad, please call 980-349-3029

MARKETING Pg. 3 Mar. 13 - Mar. 26 , 2019 - QCNERVE.COM

6 A Helping Hand Foster Village Charlotte connects foster families with much-needed resources

By Vanessa Infanzon 5 Editor’s Note by Ryan Pitkin 9 Get Fit with Britt by Brittney Pereda 9 The Scanner by Ryan Pitkin

MARKETING MANAGER • Jayme Johnson jjohnson@qcnerve.com Queen City Nerve welcomes submissions of all kinds. Please send submissions or story pitches to rpitkin@qcnerve.com.

Queen City Nerve is published every other Wednesday by Nerve Media Productions LLC. No portion may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

Queen City Nerve is located in Advent Coworking at 933 Louise Ave., Charlotte, NC, 28204. First Issue of Queen CIty Nerve free. Each additional issue $5.

16 How not to kill your social life

18 The Metal Index Kairos. and Den of Wolves get heavy at The Milestone

By Pat Moran 20 Soundwave

FOOD & DRINK

Cover Design by: Dana Vindigni

22 Out of the Frying Pan High service industry burnout rate causes concern

By Courtney Mihocik 24 The Buzz

Photo by Jeff Cravotta

NIGHTLIFE

26 Tips From Last Night / Sudoku 27 Crossword 28 Horoscope 30 Savage Love

Food:

burnt out in the service industry p.22

News:

It takes a Foster Village p.6

With Flying Colors

Just wing it with Spring Guide 2019

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EDITOR’S NOTE POUR UP

Learn how to get a

All jacked up and nowhere to go

BY RYAN PITKIN

Pg. 5 Mar. 13 - Mar. 26 , 2019 - QCNERVE.COM

“ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH OUR PAPER?”

I’ll be saying that sentence in my sleep for the next week after my first experience manning a vendor table for Queen City Nerve. As I write this, I’m still coming down from the caffeine buzz of the Pour Coffee Festival, held at Lenny Boy Brewing Company on Sunday, March 10. This year marked the second annual Pour Fest, Charlotte’s only specialty coffee festival, featuring over a dozen high-end coffee roasters from around the region, including barista champions, award winners, coffee producers, coffee educators and more.

Before I go into the details about our first-time experience as vendors at the Pour Fest, I have to give a shout out to the festival’s founder, Diana Mnatsakanyan-Sapp of Undercurrent Coffee. Although I finally got to meet Diana (and even her great parents) on Sunday, I never did get the chance to have her confirm the pronunciation of that last name yet.

Diana put together an amazing event, and she made sure it wasn’t just the bougie, hipster affair that you might imagine a specialty coffee festival to be. She donated proceeds to the Glitter Cat Barista Bootcamp, an awesomely named training program that provides coaching to members of the marginalized communities including LGBTQ folks, women, people with disabilities and racial and ethnic minorities. I can toast my coffee mug to that.

So where do we fit into all this?

We decided pretty early on that we wanted to be a part of the second Pour Fest. We signed up as vendors, began ordering Queen City Nerve merch, and we brought a couple hundred tote bags, about 100 coffee mugs and a box full of sunglasses and koozies. We were ready to spread the good word of Queen City Nerve.

I showed up just as the festival started at 10 a.m. on Sunday — completely on brand for me — and found Justin at our table drinking a store-bought coffee. After giving him a ribbing for buying coffee on the way to a coffee festival, I turned around to our nearest vendors, an espresso machine dealer called VP Coffee, and got my Nerve mug filled for free. And so began a rollercoaster of caffeine madness that I’m still feeling as I write this 24 hours later.

I know it’s sacreligious for me to say this as a journalist, but coffee is really not for me. I try to limit my intake to one cup a day. That being said, I was feeling good with my half a cup o’ joe when the people started pouring into the warehouse at Lenny Boy. One thing I noticed as I met people walking up to our table was that, despite the amazing amounts of community support and feedback we’ve been getting since launching our paper in December, in the grand scheme of things the vast majority of Charlotteans don’t know who the hell we are.

As new people we approached we hit them with our intro: “Are you familiar with our paper?”

We were almost always met with “No.” And that’s all good. After months of our supporters gassing us up on social media and spreading the word, it’s important that we’re reminded how much of that occurs in a bubble, and many Charlotteans are going about their business without any care for where we came from or why we’re here.

What was so encouraging about Sunday’s event was everyone’s willingness to learn. Literally every person that I spoke to during the four hours we were at the festival wanted to know more, and almost every one of them was excited to hear about our paper. Going in I expected that most people would sign up for our e-newsletter with a fake email address (as I’ve been known to do at such events) just to get some free swag, but people were signing up enthusiastically, asking where they could pick up our papers.

It brought us back to that feeling from the end of last year, when we first announced our intentions to launch the paper, and people came out of the woodwork to let us know that this city still need a real alternative media publication — not copied-and-pasted press releases or recycled content from a Greensboro publication, but real content from real people who care.

So as we prepare for our next vendor event, the St. Patrick’s Day Parade on Saturday, March 16, we can’t wait to continue letting people know who we are and why we’re in town. See you there Now get familiar with our paper.

RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM

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A HELPING HAND

Foster Village Charlotte connects foster families with much-needed resources

Pg. 6 Mar. 13 - Mar. 26, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM

A

PHOTO COURTESY OF FOSTER VILLAGE CHARLOTTE

BY VANESSA INFANZON

WOMAN AND two children sit on a wooden bench at Freedom Park on a clear morning in 2016. They’re waiting for help from people they don’t know. The older child is holding a handwritten sign on a large poster board that reads, “Charlotte Foster/Adopt/ Prospective Parenting Group.”

Originally from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Molly Zalewski decided when she was 22 years old that she wanted to be a foster parent.

“I dated this guy and on our first date he told me his mom fostered babies his whole life growing up,” she says. “Before they each left, she knitted them a little sweater. I thought it was the nicest thing I ever heard. And I thought that one day I’d like to do that.”

More than a decade later, Zalewski became a licensed foster parent. Her first placement was in October 2015: two siblings, 11 and 7 years old.

They had been severely neglected, couldn’t read and hadn’t attended school. The biological parents weren’t in the picture anymore.

Zalewski realized fairly quickly that the younger child had severe problems. He couldn’t control his anger and Zalewski struggled with what to do.

She had no family in the area, no connections to other foster families and no one to offer advice and resources. She felt isolated.

“When we were going through our journey, nobody was really helping me,” says Zalewski, a single 40-year-old nurse anesthetist. “I couldn’t find resources. It was basically like the government dropped two children off at my front door and I had to do everything for them.”

By the end of May 2016, Zalewski was desperate for support. She created a Facebook page, Charlotte Foster/Adopt/Prospective Parenting Group, and invited people to meet at Freedom Park. Her intent was to find a forever home for her two foster children.

Looking back, she knows how dejected and depressed they appeared sitting on the park bench.

Fifteen minutes after the designated meeting time, no one showed. The older child who understood the purpose of the meeting asked, “Well, how long are you going to sit here?”

Zalewski replied: “I will sit here until I get help.”

The first person showed up five minutes later.

Six people attended the meeting that day. Two of

them — Zalewski and Sloan Crawford — would eventually join fellow advocates Becky Santora and Traci Prillaman to launch Foster Village Charlotte, a nonprofit advocacy group in support of foster families. The organization’s mission is “to create a village of support for our local children in foster care and those caring for them by meeting urgent needs, providing support, and advocating for lasting change in our child welfare system.”

The women first reached out to Chrystal Smith, founder of Foster Village Inc. and Foster Village Austin, to use the brand and logo. Smith was skeptical at first about branching out, but eventually agreed. Foster Village Charlotte is the first affiliate of Foster Village Inc. and became official in April 2018, then launched in June with 30 Bags in 30 Days, collecting welcome packs for 30 children entering foster care.

“It has been inspiring and encouraging to watch Foster Village Charlotte take off and spread our shared mission where it is so greatly needed in Charlotte,” Smith says. “We are so grateful for the partnership and all of the ways we get to bring support and awareness around our most vulnerable. We get to collaborate and cheer each other on to accomplish goals that would be so much harder to do alone.”

Since June, Foster Village Charlotte has clocked in 400 volunteer hours and delivered 40 welcome packs. They are primarily funded by individual community donors, many of whom are friends and family, says Zalewski.

Foster Village Charlotte seeks to ease the pressure on foster families with their programming and services. “Those first few days are so emotionally challenging,” cofounder Traci Prillaman says. “The last thing you want to do is run to Target and get clothes and diapers. We realized there was a need.

We knew that in a place as big as Charlotte, there would be people out there who would be willing to help if someone could connect them.”

Foster parents are often given just a few hours’ notice before a new placement. Sometimes children arrive with only the clothes on their back and a toy.

Once the foster parent knows the ages and sizes of each child, they can request a free welcome pack through Foster Village’s online form.

Pg. 7 Mar 13- Mar. 26, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM

Foster Village co-founder Becky Santoro (second from left) with her family.

A Foster Village volunteer delivers one with brand new items such as toiletries, bedding, ageappropriate clothing and toys. The goal is to drop off the welcome pack within 24 to 48 hours of the request, but typically it arrives within hours.

Brandon Williams, a library assistant at a Charlotte law firm, and his wife, Samantha Williams, a meeting coordinator, started the training and licensing process to become foster parents in 2017. They attended GPS/MAPP (Group Preparation and Selection/Model Approach to Partnership in Parenting), a six-week training program through the Department of Social Services in Mecklenburg County.

In September, the Williamses received a call from DSS about a child arriving that evening.

Brandon requested a welcome pack, and a volunteer delivered one the next day.

“For a week, we had someone bringing us a meal almost every night through Foster Village’s network of people,” Brandon says. “You had this community, suddenly, that was very willing to help you out during this first month.”

But Foster Village is about more than providing meals and care packages. It’s a network of people willing to give emotional, physical and mental support to other foster parents. The organization coordinates free training for topics like play therapy and trauma in the brain — all presented by volunteers licensed in that particular field.

At regular meet-ups, parents’ nights and coffee

PHOTO BY AMY RODGERS

chats, seasoned and new foster parents discuss real-life experiences, knowledge and resources.

Information about tutoring, therapists, doctors and mental health programs gets shared among the foster parents. They help one another navigate the school system and paperwork.

And they also come to vent. They’re able to talk with people who understand their unique situation of raising a child who isn’t theirs. They come for perspective and connection.

“We all understand each other,” Zalewski says.

“Our kids are not like everybody else’s kids. Our kids come from hard places. And the only people who really understand all of our emotions are other foster families. It’s almost indescribable to anybody else.”

At the end of January, DSS reported that 570 children are in foster care in Mecklenburg County.

A foster child spends an average of 18 months in a placement, says Stout. The time is based on the case plan developed by the social worker assigned to the child’s parents.

Jenn Stout oversees the foster care program at Thompson, one of the county’s private childplacing agencies. Like DSS, they also offer foster parent training and licensing. Stout’s been a social worker for 26 years and the director of family support services at Thompson for more than a year.

She’s also been a foster parent for 10 years.

“Every situation is different,” Stout says. “The social worker works with the biological parents to address some of the issues that are going on

Foster Village co-founder Sloan Crawford (second from left) and her family.

in the home. It could be asking a parent to go to outpatient substance abuse counseling or, if it’s domestic violence, it could be anger management or counseling for the victim.”

The gifts in the welcome packs offer some comfort to the foster children. They begin to feel a sense of belonging.

“You’re leaving your home,” Stout explains.

“You’re leaving without your stuff, without your toys, and you’re going to someone else’s house, sleeping in a bed that’s not yours. The amount of loss our foster children go through in less than 24 hours is huge.”

Turnover is a known risk within the fostering community; the idea that foster parents may leave the program at any time. In November 2018, National Council For Adoption (NCFA) wrote about retention rates on its site: “…half of foster families quit fostering within the first year, with many states seeing another double-digit percentage decrease in year two.”

NCFA is currently collecting data about foster families’ experiences through a Parent Recruitment and Retention Project. They’ll use this data to determine how to address the issues. Stout believes “foster parent helping foster parent” may be the best model to help with retention.

“An organized support group like Foster Village absolutely contributes to foster parent retention and it helps with foster parent recruitment,” Stout says. “Actual foster parents are able to give life, and a big picture of what it would like to foster. It doesn’t

PHOTO COURTESY OF FOSTER VILLAGE CHARLOTTE

SEED20 ONSTAGE March 25, 5:30-10 p.m.; $65-85; Knight Theater, 430 S. Tryon St.; seed20.org

sound like a marketing thing or a commercial. It sounds real life, passionate.”

Prillaman notices prospective foster parents attending Foster Village activities.

“Just in the last two weeks, we’ve been informed of five families who are becoming licensed foster families because of interactions they had with Foster Village,” Prillaman said in November.

Foster Village Charlotte is one of 10 finalist nonprofit organizations chosen to participate in the 2019 Class of SEED20, a program that supports community initiatives. On March 25, co-founder Becky Santora will give a three-minute presentation about Foster Village Charlotte to a panel of judges and a community audience at SEED20 OnStage. If selected, Foster Village could receive cash rewards to further promote their mission.

Foster Village’s most recent meetup was much different than that first one at Freedom Park. It was at ImaginOn: The Joe & Joan Martin Center in January and the turnout was much greater.

“We think we had 40 to 50 families,” Zalewski says of the event. “It was magical. You just hope in your heart it’s going to be OK. The beauty of the foster parent and the foster family and being with these children makes for very nice mornings.”

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

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THE FIT GET SEEKER WITH BRITT

THE SEEKER SCANNER

VEGAN, KETO AND KALEO, MY!

Putting faith in fads can lead to yo-yo dieting

Pg. 9 Mar 13- Mar. 26, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM

BY BRITTNEY PEREDA

AS A CERTIFIED fitness trainer and nutrition specialist, clients often can’t wait to fill me in on the latest and greatest diet trends that they’re dipping their toes into. The conversation typically begins by me asking my client to run me through an average day of eating, then slowly turns in to them telling me about how Suzanne down the road — whose health and fitness education amounts to a couple Google searches — shared how the ketogenic diet has helped her lose 30 pounds. So naturally, my client gets all revved up to try keto because that’s obviously what gets the job done, right? Not necessarily.

Now that I have all the hardcore keto advocates’ attention, let me explain: This column is not about how much I disagree with different dieting techniques, keto notwithstanding. In fact, I believe when keto is done right — meaning worked in with other nutritional programming — it can 100 percent work for people looking to lose weight and trim down body fat.

Whether you want to eat a high-fat, low-carb or a high-carb, low-fat diet, the biggest factor for healthy individuals with no special diet recommendations from a doctor will always come down to energy expenditure versus energy intake. To simplify, in order to actually lose the weight, you have to be in something us nutrition gurus like to call a “caloric deficit.”

It doesn’t take much for most of us to spend at a financial deficit, but a caloric deficit is harder to accomplish. So how do you know that you’re eating the right amount for what you do on a daily basis?

A simple basal metabolic rate (BMR) and total daily energy expenditure (TDEE) calculation by a trained professional can help you figure that out. Sure, you could look these calculators up on Google and do it yourself if you need to, just remember that your initial calculations will only lead to a starting point.

You will need someone who knows what they are doing to guide you the rest of the way.

There have been countless studies that prove why there’s not one single diet that works more than any other for losing the weight you desire.

Eating for ketosis (hats off to you guys for leaving those beloved carbs), choosing to save the animals and go vegan, or taking an all-natural caveman

approach like the paleo diet are all completely up to you and your needs. Again, when it comes to cleaning up your nutrition and shaving off that extra fluff, I can’t knock any of these approaches.

Regardless of your personal approach, you must choose something sustainable for the long-term. If cutting all of the carbs from your diet without wanting to straight binge on bread, cookies and fruit after only a month is something that won’t be an issue for you, then go for it. The key is to be realistic with yourself before you put all your faith into a fad that you expect to do the work for you.

It’s a little-known fact that the majority of people who start a diet actually lose the weight they want to. As a matter of fact, Dr. Layne Norton (also known as @BioLayne on Instagram), states in his book Fat Loss Forever, that six out of seven people who are overweight will lose a significant amount of weight in their lifetime.

The problem comes with the follow-through.

There’s a not-so-surprising catch to the abovementioned stats: 80 percent of those successful dieters will have returned to their pre-diet weight within just one year. That percentage increases to 95 in 3 years. Norton states that only 5 percent of people successfully diet and sustain it. He even goes further to say that about one- to two-thirds of these people who relapse will have gained even more weight back than their previous weight.

This is a continuous cycle for the majority of the population; we call it yo-yo dieting. It can be completely detrimental to your body in the long run, and it’s the reason why sustainability, seeking a trained professional for guidance and not following the crowd is so important. Being able to bring yourself out of an extreme caloric deficit correctly, using any approach, is very important.

So the next time Suzanne asks why you haven’t started keto, ask her how long she thinks she will sustain it. She might be one of the very few people who are able to (You go, Suzanne!), but you do you and whatever you think will work best for you mentally.

BY RYAN PITKIN

PAST DUE Police finally caught up with a car thief in the Derita area of north Charlotte after bringing Snoopy into the mix to find him. According to the report, the police helicopter spotted a stolen car and then watched as two suspects fled from the vehicle on foot. Officers on the ground were able to catch up with one of the suspects, and found him to be in possession of a stolen wallet and a stolen check worth $2,637 dated from three years ago.

That apparent habit of procrastination explains why it took him until the chopper showed up to ditch the stolen car.

PANHANDLING PROBLEMS A 55-year-old man filed a police report recently after a bad day turned worse for him in north Charlotte. The man told police that he was panhandling at the intersection of Reames and Sunset roads when he got into a territorial fight with another man who was panhandling at the same corner. While the two men battled it out, a woman who had been hanging around watching the men realized it was her time to strike and grabbed the victim’s backpack before running off. The man reported that the woman made off with his ID, his Social Security card and $30 in cash.

WELCOME HOME A 35-year-old woman filed a non-criminal police report last week after a curious incident happened in front of her west Charlotte home. The woman told officers she found a welcome mat laying in her yard, and out of curiosity reviewed her surveillance footage to see how it got there. It was then that she saw a young man throw the mat into her yard, and when she asked him about it he told her he had been dared to do it by friends in the neighborhood. So in review: the woman got a new mat, she wasted police time, the report wasted my time and now I’m wasting yours.

UNWELCOME HOME One woman did not get such a warm welcome when she moved into her new rental in southwest Charlotte recently. The 32-yearold woman told police she moved into the home on Feb. 28 after paying $1,500 for the first month’s rent. At around 5:30 p.m., the woman left to run some errands, or possibly pick up one more load from INFO@QCNERVE.COM her old home, and came back to find a note on the

door. The note wasn’t from one of her new neighbors welcoming her to the neighborhood, however, it was from the leasing agent in charge of the property. The note suggested that she call the agent, and when she did she was informed that she had not, in fact, leased the house, and the person she spoke with had no connection with the property.

FRAGILE FRIENDSHIP A 16-year-old boy in north Charlotte called police last week after an old friend came over to visit, but without a friendly reason.

The boy told police that the former friend showed up to his home on Matheson Avenue at around 4:30 p.m. and tried to crawl into an unlocked window of the home. The tenant was able to push his ol’ pal back out the window and lock it. It was then that the suspect picked up some unknown object and shattered the outer pane of the window, doing $75 in damage. After the suspect left and police showed up, the victim told them the suspect had a beef with him for an incident that occurred in the past, and as with almost all police reports, we now have more questions than we came in with.

GRAMMAR POLICE The principal at Lake Wylie Elementary School does not play around when it comes to proper sentence usage. According to a recent police report filed by principal Jigna Patel, a student dropped three small notes in the hallway recently, and when a staff member picked them up and read them, they were found to contain “inappropriate verbiage.” The ironic part is that the police officer filing the report misspelled verbiage as “verbage,” and will therefore have to file another report against themself.

PEAK PROFITS If the CMPD was hoping to fund any new hires with the take from their undercover stings, they’re going to need to send in some more gambling-savvy officers. According to a recently filed report, Vice & Narcotics officers assisted with a month-long undercover investigation of illegal gambling machines, during which they won $20 and $10 that they were later forced to turn into property control. Damn, you can’t even let them buy themselves dinner?

All reports come from CMPD files. Suspects are innocent until proven guilty.

‘THE GREAT BEYOND’ March 14-April 6, times vary; $7.50-$15; Hadley Theater, 2132 Radcliffe Ave.; atcharlotte.org ‘THE GHOST OF SPLINTER COVE’ March 22-April 7, times vary; $18-25; Wells Fargo Playhouse, 300 E. 7th St.; ctcharlotte.org

But Dietz’s two newbies would never have been written if he hadn’t gotten on a plane and met with Adam Burke and Chip Decker here in Charlotte.

Burke, the artistic director at Children’s Theatre, and Decker, his counterpart at Actor’s Theatre, had cooked up a concept during a late 2014 meetup.

Cooperating was feasible between the two companies, but what kind of project would bring audiences together to see the kinship between Decker’s adult theater and Burke’s theater for young audiences (known as TYA)?

Decker and Burke both have considerable experience in bringing new plays to their respective theaters, so it was obvious that their joint project would be a new script. But what if they commissioned two scripts, each one designed to funnel audience from their theater to the other theater while both shows were in production?

Somehow the two plays and their stories would have to interlock. Yet to encourage rather than force ‘The Great Beyond’ cast (left to right): PHOTO COURTESY OF ACTOR’S THEATRE CHARLOTTE audiences at one company’s theater to also see the Robin Tynes-Miller, Tania Kelly, Tonya other company’s play, both of the plays would have Bludsworth and Scott Tynes-Miller. to stand independently on their own. Through this line of thinking — excited brainstorming sessions interspersed with copious cups of coffee — the concept that would be named The Second Story Project took shape.

When Burke and Decker decided to move forward, there were no funds earmarked for the project, no playwright(s) commissioned to create the scripts and no parameters detailing how the two stories would interconnect. There was just one dynamite concept that had never been tried before.

“It’s always a leap of faith to do anything, especially something new,” Decker observes. “We just both hit on it, felt it was a good solid idea, two world premiere productions by the same Charlotte production. playwright to ring in the spring with an Both spooktaculars are by renowned playwright and when you feel that way, you have to jump in with both feet and hope there’s a safety net at the unseasonally spooky vibe.

Steven Dietz, who splits most of his time up in Upstairs with the adults at the séance, the Seattle and down in Austin, where he teaches his bottom.”

Looking back on it, Dietz was an obvious choice.

Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte production of The Great craft at the University of Texas. Dietz has written Decker and Burke had been discussing advertising Beyond premieres on Wednesday, March 20, on the and adapted more than 40 plays, and a slew of in trade publications or soliciting proposals — Queens University campus. On the following Friday them have been performed in various theaters at ImaginOn, The Ghost of Splinter Cove takes us across town, including God’s Country, Lonely Planet, until the successful run of Dietz’s Jackie and Me adaptation at ImaginOn turned on the lightbulb in downstairs to the basement with three imperiled Yankee Tavern and 2010 Show of the Year winner Decker’s skull. kids for a world premiere Children’s Theatre of Becky’s New Car.

CROSS-TOWN HAUNTING

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Two new Charlotte plays work on many levels

A

BY PERRY TANNENBAUM

N OLD LIVING room card table shaking uncontrollably during a candlelit séance ... an unidentified ghost — or two — lurking in the dark basement, where kids are at play ... and an 8-year-old child who has been missing for nearly 40 years. These are just a few of the chilling elements included in two new nailbiting plays hitting the Queen City on the same week — in the same house ... well, kind of.

The city will be home to an unprecedented

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PHOTO COURTESY OF CHILDREN’S THEATRE OF CHARLOTTE

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‘The Ghost of Splinter Cover’ cast at rehearsal (from left): Chester Shepherd, Arjun Pande, Carman Myrick and Kayla Ferguson.

He sums up his realization: “We’re looking for a playwright who has a great voice for theater for younger audiences and a playwright who has an experienced track record with adult audiences, we’ve both produced Steven Dietz plays, why should we look any further — especially the first time out?”

Burke had begun to block out the idea of looking to an established adult playwright, calculating that the TYA piece would be the higher hurdle.

“I am more confident that someone who can write a great play for young people can write a great play for adults than I am of the reverse,” Burke explains. “So when Chip suggested Steven, I’m like, ‘Ah, yes, of course!’ There are only a handful of people that are moving between the two worlds successfully.”

When presented with the idea, Dietz was a little wary, wanting to make sure there wasn’t some special issue or theme that his scripts were expected to address. Getting reassurances of his complete freedom, he warmed to the prospect of such an unprecedented challenge.

“What was so beautiful about the idea was that it was so simple,” Dietz recalls. “The core of the pitch to me was something shared. A shared story, a shared theme — something shared. And in one theater piece, we see it through young people’s eyes, and in the other, we see it through grownups’ eyes. That’s just like Post-it Note simple!”

The playwright was also on Burke’s wavelength with respect to the primacy of the TYA piece. It would be the more difficult piece to write and take more time, so it needed to be written first. Unlike

other commissions that Dietz has fulfilled, neither The Ghost of Splinter Cove nor The Great Beyond turned out to be a play he would have written anyway. No barely-started scripts or scribbled scenarios were on his studio shelves waiting for these unique commissions.

Dietz suspected that he would make many false starts on his youth play — and he did.

The upstairs/downstairs idea didn’t occur to him immediately, but when it did, it seemed like an elegantly simple way to make his plays interlock.

But what kind of full-length play can be staged in a basement?

“I had this little tiny notion,” Dietz reveals. “I had a friend who had his kids try out his camping equipment in their basement once. And of course, that is what’s beautiful about writing for young people: where they go on that camping trip in their imagination is much more dynamic than getting out even on the San Juan Islands ... Because it’s in their imaginations, so it can be anywhere.”

Especially when your brand-new camping gear is a birthday gift, you’re in a strange haunted house for the first time in your life, and there’s a smartphone app that makes your whole camping adventure come alive.

So that’s the downstairs core of the Second Story Project. From time to time, Dad calls down from upstairs, sending down snacks and making sure the kids are settled in. The two plays interconnect with those conversations — we only see Dad in The Great Beyond — and there are key props that will be common to both of Dietz’s eerie dramas.

Upstairs, where the séance happens, the

parents are having a dinner reunion after a great family loss and we learn why the kids have never visited this house before.

For Dietz, there was a unique benefit in crafting his two new plays as a matched set.

“Writing [Splinter Cove] taught me about those kids’ parents,” Dietz remarks. “In any other play I’ve ever written, they would just be offstage

characters. This process doesn’t have offstage characters, really. They have characters onstage at the other theater.”

Characters that may or may not be alive.

Bwa-ha-ha!

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WHERE THE DOLLARS AT? Exploring the gender pay gap

MARCH 20TH, 6:30 PM - 8:30 PM Http://bit.ly/ShapingCLTGenderEquality

PHOTO BY JEFF CRAVOTTA PHOTOGRAPHY

The Spring Guide 2019 BLOOMTOWN

Spring Guide 2019

GRILLING IN THE GARDEN

It’s the perfect way for the plant-lover and meateater to find compromise. Hang out at Pike, Charlotte’s gardening experts since 2006, for the year’s biggest sale, and if whomever you’re with isn’t interested in plant shopping, lure them in with the free hot dogs and soda.

More: March 23, 11 a.m.-1 p.m.; Free; Pike Nurseries, 12630 N. Community House Blvd., tinyurl. com/PikeDogs

OK, so there’s no guarantee we’re going to see an end to these ridiculously rainy weeks, but at least the weather is getting ready to warm up (and actually stay warm). We put together 50 of the best springrelated events to get you back in the pollen-filled fresh air. From grills to gardens and ampitheaters to alcohol, there’s something for everyone in our 2019 ABARI 3RD ANNIVERSARY BLOCK PARTY Spring Guide.

Celebrate three years of action with Charlotte’s first gaming bar. Last year was a party not to be missed, THE CHARLOTTE FAIR IN CONCORD and the line-up at this year’s show — which is held What better place to hold the Charlotte Fair than at out in the parking lot — is even sicker than it was the Charlotte Motor Speedway … in Concord? Still in 2018: Late Bloomer, Petrov, The Business People, though, take the quick trip up I-85 with the kiddos Cuzco, Hungry Girl, Dollhands, Junior Astronomers, to see the Aguiar Circus and Thrill Show, “one-man Acne and Wes & the Railroaders. Forget the video roaming circus sensation” Jason D’Vaude, Swifty games, local vendors and food trucks, this is one of Swine’s Racing Pig Show and plenty of other carnival the biggest local musical festivals of the year. attractions.

More: March 23, Noon-2 a.m.; Free; Abari Game Bar, More: March 15-24, times vary; $5-25; Charlotte 1721 N. Davidson St.; tinyurl.com/AbariThreeYears Fairgrounds, 6558 Bruton Smith Blvd., Concord; tinyurl.com/CharlotteFair ADULT HIKING SERIES

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SPRING EQUINOX CELEBRATION

It’s the inaugural spring equinox celebration at Historic Rosedale, one of the NoDa area’s best-kept secrets. The spring equinox has been celebrated in countless ways over thousands of years, and this intimate observation will be based on the rituals of the Native American Cherokee tribe.

Led by reiki master and Cherokee shaman descendant Faye Wright, the celebration will focus on renewal and cleansing through the art of “smudging.”

More: March 20, 7-8:30 p.m.; $50-65; Historic Rosedale Plantation, 3427 N. Tryon St.; tinyurl.com/ RosedaleEquinox

You’ve been sitting inside all winter watching television, going stir crazy while your kids run circles around you. It’s time to get out and release all that pent-up energy with a 90-minute, adult-only hike through the McDowell Nature Preserve. Remember what nature looks like? We don’t either.

More: March 26, 2-3:30 p.m.; Free, registration required; McDowell Nature Preserve, 15220 York Road; tinyurl.com/McDowellHike FOODS THAT COOL

We were purposeful to keep almost every event on this list outside, but here’s one that you can plan for rain-or-shine to help you get through the allergies that come with the arrival of spring. Julia Simon and

A bird at home at Wing Haven Gardens.

BOTANICAL PHOTOGRAPHY WORKSHOP

You won’t be snapping off breathtaking landscapes like Ansel Adams after taking this workshop, but your nature photos will look a whole lot better. The Light Factory photography instructor Michael O’Neil will help you develop your own style, capture the personality of plants and understand the impact of lighting on gardens. This is a two session workshop with the second half concluding on Saturday, March 30 More: $195-240; March 23, 10 a.m.; Wing Haven, 260 Ridgewood Ave.; winghavengardens.org

QUEEN FLEA MAKERS MARKET

Charlotte’s crafty creatives have spent the winter, well, creating, and now they’re ready to peddle their spring wares, including jewelry, vintage, home decor, local art, kids goods and more.

There will be more than 50 local vendors under one roof. Support some local artisans and get out of the house for some accessories and mingling.

More: March 30, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; $5-7; Summerbird Boutique, 2424 N. Davidson St., Suite 105A; tinyurl.com/QueenFleaMarket BBQ AND BLUEGRASS

A hybrid we can get behind, this event features local barbecue from OooWee BBQ, live bluegrass music and obviously beer.

Honestly, Sycamore Brewing is hosting outdoor events worthy of the Spring Guide damn near every the folks at Nourish Charlotte will lead a cooking class week this season, so check out their other event focused on low-sodium, anti-inflammatory foods to listings page if you can’t make this one. help you through the warmer seasons. Each attendee More: March 30, Noon-10 p.m.; Free; Sycamore gets an exclusive recipe book to bring home.

Brewing, 2161 Hawkins Street; sycamorebrew.com More: March 26, 6:30-10 p.m.; $60; Nourish Charlotte, 1421 Orchard Lake Drive, Unit F; tinyurl. THE AMAZING CANIVAL com/CoolAssFood No, it’s not a typo. This “canival” celebrates all the happiness that comes in a can (most of it with an QUEEN CHARLOTTE FAIR AT ROUTE 29 alcohol percentage). Enjoy cans of craft beer, cider, PAVILION wine, wine spritzer and hard seltzer from local, The fact that this is the second “Charlotte” fair on this regional and national breweries and cideries. Just list and neither one is in Charlotte is alarming. We make sure you recycle. are running out of room quick, people!

More: March 30, 1-5 p.m.; $25-45; Queen Park Anyway, some of the featured events at this one Social, 4125 Yancey Road; include the Wall of Death (motorcycles in a circle), tinyurl.com/AmazingCanival BMX Madness and an MJ impersonator, although with the real MJ being posthumously canceled PUPS & PERENNIALS after a recent documentary, we’re not sure how that Stop and smell the flowers with your pup. For one affects the plans of his impersonator. day, Daniel Stowe Botanical Gardens is opening More: March 28-April 14, times vary; $5-10, free its doors to your four-legged friend to enjoy a day for 4 and under; Route 29 Pavilion, 5650 Sandusky amongst the plants. Pet adoption groups will be onBlvd., Concord; queencharlottefair.com

PHOTO COURTESY OF WING HAVEN GARDENS

The Spring Guide 2019 Spring in full bloom at Wing Haven Gardens.

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hand (or paw) to find a forever friend and guided hikes that will tire out event the most energetic of dogs will be available for a fantastic afternoon on the garden grounds.

More: March 31, 12-4 p.m.; $12.95 admission, free for members; Daniel Stowe Botanical Gardens, 6500 South New Hope Road, Belmont; dsbg.org

and more.

More: April 12-14, 10 a.m.; $6-20; Rural Hill, 4431 Neck Road, Huntersville; visitlakenorman.org SPRING FEST

Live musical performances from Of Good Nature and Zach Deputy will set the tone for this all-day celebration of good weather and good drinks.

BEER ME BREWFEST Beer and cider will flow throughout the brewery Rain or shine, have a good time at our favorite indoors and out, so you won’t have to stand in line clusterfuck of SouthEnd bars while sampling local too long while the guy in a polo and backwards hat and regional beer and cider all day. tries three different IPAs before settling for a pilsner.

Vendors, games and music galore, just don’t be More: April 13, 12 p.m.; Free; Sycamore Brewing, a frat boy bore.

2161 Hawkins St.; tinyurl.com/SycamoreSpring More: April 6, 1:30-5:30 p.m.; $30-45; South End MOO & BREW FEST Station, 200 E. Bland St.; It’s the fifth annual iteration of this burger and tinyurl.com/BeerMeBrewFest beer festival, featuring more than 50 local, regional LEON BRIDGES and national breweries; local restaurants vying In 2015, Bridges debuted his emotional brand of for the “Best Burger” title; plus music from Junior soul with Coming Home. He immediately drew Astronomers, Big Something and Everclear. comparisons to Sam Cooke and Otis Redding, but More: April 13, 12:30-6 p.m.; $40-55; AvidXchange his subsequent releases show he’s much more than Music Factory, 1000 N.C. Music Factory Blvd.; tinyurl. a mere crooning 1960s throwback. com/BeerAndBurgers The two-time Grammy nominee has broadened GREYSTAR UNIVERSITY CITY WINE his palette to include sophisticated funk and FESTIVAL insistent soul jazz grooves.

There’s too many beer fests and not enough wine More: April 11, 7 p.m.; $27 and up; CMCU fests.

Whether you prefer red, white, rosé or Amphitheater, 1000 NC Music Factory Blvd.; cabernet, Montepulciano or pinot grigio, there’s a livenation.com glass waiting for you at this wine-only festival near the pond.

LOCH NORMAN HIGHLAND GAMES Unfortunately, the pond water will not be There’s a whole lot more to being Scottish than replaced with wine despite Easter being a only capering in kilts, speaking in an impenetrable week away.

But we don’t recommend walking on it. brogue and griping about the English. For starters, there’s the caber toss, the only sport that can give Just focus on enjoying the vino.

More: April 13, 1 p.m.; $35-40; Shoppes at University you a hernia simply by watching it.

The 26th Annual Loch Norman Highland Games Place, 8708 JW Clay Blvd.; universitycitywinefest.org offer bagpipes, haggis, historical reenactments, country dances, longbow contests, whiskey tastings

THE VODKA MASTERS

What: It’s not a gardening event like our other highlights, but it’s our event, and that’s what matters. Martinis, mules, marys and more. Have you been searching for the perfect spring and summer cocktail to set the tone for the sunny Carolina days ahead? Find the best cocktail in the city as restaurants and bars go head-to-head to create the most thirst-quenching and taste bud-tantalizing vodka cocktail of the year. Vote for the best cocktail and be part of Queen City Nerve’s kickoff event.

More: $20 and up; April 27, 12-6 p.m.; Rooftop 210, 210 E. Trade St.; tinyurl.com/ VodkaMasters2019 ZAC BROWN BAND

The Zac Brown Band has won all of their Grammys in the country music genre, but they’re hard to pin down.

The band’s upcoming fourth studio album will be even more genre-bending, according to reports, so this may be one of those times we actually do want to hear the new stuff.

More: April 14, 7 p.m.; $44 and up; PNC Music Pavilion, 707 Pavilion Blvd.; tinyurl.com/ZacBrownPNC IMBIBE + INSPIRE TOUR

With the flowers in full bloom and a drink in your hand, take a guided tour through the private gardens of the Elizabeth Lawrence House, part of Wing Haven Gardens.

The surreal feeling of serene quiet amongst the busy streets will transport you to a place of wonderment and flowers amongst the gardens. Just don’t get sloshed and throw up on the roses.

More: April 18, 4-5:30 p.m.; $20 non-member, $15

member; Elizabeth Lawrence House & Garden, 348 Ridgewood Ave.; winghavengardens.org DIGITAL GARDENS MUSIC AND ARTS CELEBRATION

Housed in a pop-up amphitheater next to the light rail in NoDa, Digital Gardens celebrates electronic music and design with art installations, fire performances and a silent disco.

EDM and bass programming acts include Jantsen, Liquid Stranger, graves, Wax Future, 1788L, Virtual Riot, UZ, Stylust and more. This two-day event is peace, love, unity, respect only, so no bad vibes.

More: April 19-20, 2:45 p.m.; $65-165; Shed Amphitheater at Station House, 4100 Raleigh St.; DigitalGardensNC.com WATER LANTERN FESTIVAL

Bring out your inner Tangled spirit and release a horde of water lanterns on the pond for a peaceful and memorable event with friends and family.

As a partner of Water.org, this event supports efforts for millions worldwide to have access to clean and safe water. Not to worry, the lanterns won’t just pollute the lake — part of the ticket price goes toward park cleanup after the festival.

More: April 20, 5 p.m.; $25 and up; Symphony Park, 4400 Sharon Rd.; waterlanternfestival.com DIY RAIN BARREL WORKSHOP

Reduce your water bill with a DIY rain barrel constructed from former Coca-Cola syrup drums.

This interactive and constructive event will leave you with your own rain catching and conservation drum to collect rainwater while learning about water pollution prevention and community engagement.

More: April 20, 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.; Free; Windows on Tryon, 301 N. Tryon St.; tinyurl.com/BarrelDIY

PHOTO COURTESY OF WING HAVEN GARDENS

The Spring Guide 2019 Lilly pads float serenely in the Wing Haven Gardens fountain.

TUCKFEST

This four-day extravaganza is basically two fests in one. There’s the great outdoors part featuring trail running, kayaking, biking, climbing, obstacle racing and more. Then there’s that whole show thing with an eclectic bill of alt-folk and country performers that just keeps getting better each year.

Fantastic Negrito, The Milk Carton Kids, Tyler Childers and Sarah Shook & the Disarmers are just some of the acts hitting the stage.

More: April 25-27, 3:30 p.m.; Free; U.S. National Whitewater Center, 5000 Whitewater Center Pkwy.; tuckfest.usnwc.org PET-PALOOZA

The Charlotte Humane Society wants to tempt you into adopting a dog with a fun day filled with pups, live music, picnicking and serene walks through McAlpine Creek Park.

The temptation will probably be too much to bear, but you should go adopt a new forever fourlegged fur friend anyway.

More: April 27, 12-4 p.m.; Free; McAlpine Creek Park, 8711 Monroe Rd; tinyurl.com/PetPalooza2019

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OPEN STREETS 704

The return of warm weather means the return of Open Streets, in which miles of Queen City pavement become closed to those annoying twoton chunks of metal we drive around all the time and open up to walkers, cyclists, scooterists and whomever else wants to come enjoy some fresh air minus the exhaust fumes.

Different interactive experiences and vendors will line the streets.

More: April 28, 1-5 p.m.; Free; NoDa, Villa Heights, Belmont, Plaza Midwood and Commonwealth; openstreets704.com

DISCOVERY WEEKEND

PLACE

EXPLORATION

Escape the bustle of the city and find a nature sanctuary for the weekend with your family. This all-ages, all-weekend event includes nature walks, stargazing and instruction.

Learn to identify trees and wildflowers and become the educated nature enthusiast you are at heart. With child-age and adult classes, the whole family will benefit from some time away from the television.

More: May 3-5, 9 a.m.; $50 and up; Discovery Place Nature, 1568 Sterling Rd., discoveryplace.org BARK IN THE BALLPARK

BIGLEAF MAGNOLIA ART & GARDEN FESTIVAL

This inaugural event is a celebration of art created in, about or for gardens.

The festival will kickoff on Friday with an opening exhibit followed by a series of adult workshops on Saturday and kids’ classes on Sunday. Check out a juried botanical art show, an exhibit of winning images from the UNC Charlotte Botanical Gardens’ first macro-photography contest, several installation art pieces and a variety of artist-decorated garden totems throughout the seven-acre woodland garden.

More: May 17, 6-8 p.m.; May 18, 9 a.m.-4 p.m.; May 19, 1-4 p.m.; Free, registration required for classes; UNC Charlotte Botanical Gardens, 9090 Craver Road; tinyurl.com/MagnoliaFest

Can’t stand to leave your fur baby at home while you run off to the ballgame? Well, for four games this season, you can bring the pup you love with you while you watch the Charlotte Knights. Just make sure they don’t try to play fetch with a fly ball.

More: June 3, 6-10 p.m.; $9 and up; Charlotte Knights Stadium, 324 S. Mint St.; neighborhood brewery Old Meck and OooWee BBQ charlotteknights.com will be available while David Childers throws a can’tUNTAPPD BEER FESTIVAL miss musical performance.

The popular beer-diary app and sharing platform More: May 4, 11 a.m. - 3 p.m.; $5; President James has chosen Charlotte as the location for its first beer K. Polk Historic State Site, 12031 Lancaster Hwy., festival. Untappd is bringing in local and national Pineville; breweries and cider makers to open the taps and polkmemorialsupportfundinc.wildapricot.org flow crisp alcoholic beverages into your cup. It’s highly recommended to BYOPN. That’s bring your HOPE FLOATS DUCK RACE own pretzel necklace to munch on and absorb some Ducks, ducks and more ducks. Kinder Mourn is flooding the channels at USNWC with thousands of of the alcohol.

More: May 4, 3-8 p.m.; $50 and up; Bank of America “adopted” rubber ducks to raise money for families and children in grief after losing a loved one. Watch Stadium, 800 S. Mint St.; untappdfestival.com the river turn yellow, but not for the reason you’d MUSIC, DANCE ‘N QUE think.

This fundraiser supports the educational missions More: May 5, 2-5 p.m.; Free, duck adoption of the James K. Polk museum. encouraged; U.S. National Whitewater Center, 5000 If that’s not enough to get you to show up, then Whitewater Center Pkwy; duckrace.com/charlotte

2019 NORTH CAROLINA BREWERS AND MUSIC FESTIVAL

Music, brews, camping, Mountain Island Lake and more. There isn’t much more that we need to say. If you like any combination of those things, this is the spring weekend event for you.

More: May 10-11, 3 p.m.; $28 and up; Historic Rural Hill, 4431 Neck Rd.; ncbrewsmusic.com END-TO-END

From one end to the other, Camp North End wants to show you the immersive world of technology and all the cutting-edge innovations that make it happen.

Envelope yourself in the art of technology and the learn about the processes that make food, art and tech exist.

More: May 10-11; 5 p.m.; Free; Camp North End, 1824 Statesville Ave.; tinyurl.com/EndToNorthEnd BIG AL’S CRAWFISH BOIL

The success of 2018’s crawfish boil led charity organization Allen B. Gamble Foundation to throw another boil to raise mental health awareness. Eat some Louisiana-style crawfish without having to go to Bubba Gump’s.

More: May 11, 4-11 p.m.; RSVP; Lenny Boy Brewing Co., 3000 S. Tryon St.; tinyurl.com/BigAlCrawfish GRETA VAN FLEET

Old dudes may gripe that Greta Van Fleet is just a bunch of damn kids playing rock ‘n’ roll, but that’s the way it’s supposed to be, right?

The three Kiszka brothers plus a drummer, bash out meaty, beaty, big and bouncy RAWK that worships at Led Zeppelin’s Houses of the Holy, before ascending a “Stairway to Heaven” to dance at the “Misty Mountain Hop.” More: May 15, 8 p.m.; $71 and up; CMCU Amphitheater, 1000 NC Music Factory Blvd.; livenation.com

PHOTO COURTESY OF WING HAVEN GARDENS

The Spring Guide 2019 A chipmunk goes nuts at Wing Haven.

BOB SEGER

At one time Bob Seger was a full-throttle garage rocker like his fellow motor city madman Mitch Ryder. But that was long before the sun cooled and the solar system formed.

By the time Seger and his Silver Bullet Band found FM radio success in the 1970s, the gravel voiced singer had cleaned up his act and hit paydirt with karaoke bar staples like “Night Moves” and “Old Time Rock & Roll.”

More: May 16, 7:30 p.m.; $45 and up; PNC Music Pavilion, 707 Pavilion Blvd.; livenation.com

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DRUMSTRONG BIRTHDAY

2019:

LUCKY

13TH

Superstition and luck don’t hurt when it comes to the battle against cancer, but what’s really needed is people willing to fight for funding.

The folks at DrumStrong have been fighting that fight for a lucky 13 years, and they’re celebrating with a day of interactive rhythmic experiences including a six-hour drum circle (no, you don’t have to drum the whole time).

More: May 18, 10:30 a.m. - 6 p.m.; the more you raise and donate, the more you get out of the party; Misty Meadows Farm, 455 Providence Road S., Weddington; tinyurl.com/DrumStrong13 CLT WORLD GOTH DAY PICNIC

“Greetings, oh pale and tragic ones! That pale yellowish orb you see in the sky is the sun. Contrary to your customs, it’s OK to get some of its light upon your skin!” It’s the fourth annual outdoor get-together for folks who dress like members of the Cure year-round.

Festivities include refreshments, a performance by Stray Cat Sideshow and a Black Parade through the park culminating in a traditional group photo.

More: May 19, 3 p.m.; Free; Nevin Community Park, 6000 Statesville Rd.; tinyurl.com/CLTGothPicnic

600 FESTIVAL: STREET

CHARLOTTE

SPEED

One year, Nerve’s editor-in-chief Ryan Pitkin ran into a guy selling sugar gliders for $600 at Speed Street. We don’t know if that will be the case again this year, but there will be a ton of food, music and drunk people to shove past.

More: May 23-25, 12 p.m.; Free; Uptown Charlotte; 600festival.com MEMORIAL DAY CELEBRATION

As always, USNWC knows how to throw an all-day party of fitness and relaxation.

If you’re one of those crazy people who likes to punish yourself by running, there are 5- and 8-mile races. Or you could just drink a beer and watch the fireworks.

More: May 26, 9 a.m.; Free; U.S. National Whitewater Center, 5000 Whitewater Center Pkwy.; usnwc.org OZZY OSBOURNE

It was 37 years ago when Ozzy Osbourne bit the head off of a live bat onstage and had to get rushed to the hospital for rabies shots. Whether you see Ozzie as the Prince of Darkness or a lumbering buffoon, you have to admit that stuff like the reverse bat attack is part of his charm.

The former Black Sabbath frontman is a showman through and through, and metal wouldn’t be the same without him. Thrash metal outfit Megadeath opens the show with their panzer tank assault.

More: June 4, 7:30 p.m.; $22 and up; PNC Music Pavilion, 707 Pavilion Blvd.; livenation.com

PLAZA MIDWOOD COMMUNITY GARDEN WORKDAY

It’s time to get your hands dirty.

Neighbors and friends are invited for a day of community garden work. It’s a great way to get to know the weird couple down the street and learn a thing or two about growing your own food, instead of waiting for everyone else to make it for you, ya slob.

More: June 15, 9 a.m.; Free; Midwood Park, 2100 Wilhemina Ave.; tinyurl.com/ MidwoodGardenDay

restaurants Uptown to bring fest-goers the ultimate smorgasbord of samples, along with music and shopping opportunities.

Grab a bite, or a hundred bites, and discover Charlotte’s restaurant foodscape.

More: Free; June 7-9, 11 a.m.; Uptown, Tryon to Stonewall streets; tasteofcharlotte.com THOMAS RHETT

As the son of award-winning country singersongwriter Rhett Atkins, Thomas Rhett certainly knows his way around the music business.

Some may say he knows it a little too well, with his catchy songwriting hitting on all sorts of popular genres like a pinball: “Here’s some bro country.

Now how about some electronic beats, or a dash of disco?” Still, somehow it goes down easy.

More: June 14, 7 p.m.; $38 and up; PNC Music Pavilion, 707 Pavilion Blvd.; livenation.com

CATAWBA RIVER RACES

The Catawba River isn’t just a pretty sight, it’s also the setting for a full day of open-water racing.

Swim, paddle, kayak or whatever your preference for navigating the aquatics, just be sure to bring your river-race face.

More: June 15, first race 7:30 a.m.; $35; U.S. National Whitewater Center, 5000 Whitewater Center Pkwy; usnwc.org FAIRIES IN THE FOREST

Sherlock Holmes creator Arthur Conan Doyle believed in fairies. He even advocated for fairy photographs purporting to be authentic. They weren’t, but we guarantee that the little people in the garden this time will be real. Sure, they’ll just be your kids dressed in fairy finery for snapshots, but why quibble?

This garden party offers plenty of summer solstice magic — flowers, storytelling and moths that fly by moonlight.

More: June 21, 6 p.m.; $10; UNC Charlotte Outdoor Botanical Gardens, 9090 Craver Rd.; gardens.uncc.edu/fairies-in-the-forest HOT RODS AND HOPS DRAG WARS

Cruise in to this car show/drag race every third Friday of June, July and August for music, food, beer and even an area for the little kid car enthusiasts to enjoy safely.

Bring in your own car if you’re in the mood to show it off, or put your money where your mouth is and sign it up for a race.

More: June 21, 6 p.m.; Free; zMAX Dragway, 5555 Concord Pkwy South, Concord; tinyurl.com/ LOBSTER & BEER FEST TASTE OF CHARLOTTE 2019 What better way to get in gear for summer than HotRodHops Taste the cuisine of the Queen City without having with lobster rolls and crisp cider and beer?

INFO@QCNERVE.COM to jump all over town.

More: Free; June 15, 4-10 p.m.; Sycamore Brewing, Taste of Charlotte is jamming over 100 2161 Hawkins St.; tinyurl.com/LobsterBeerFest

WEDNESDAY, MAR. 13TH

BROTHER BIRD

What: In 2011, Caroline Swon uploaded a cover of Manchester Orchestra’s “Deer” to YouTube, which was eventually passed to frontman Andy Hull. By 2018, under the moniker Brother Bird, Swon joined Manchester Orchestra on tour. Now the etheral-voiced, mellow singer-songwriter flies solo through Charlotte.

More: $12-15; 9 p.m.; Free Range Brewing, 2320 N. Davidson St.; tinyurl.com/BBFreeRange

THURSDAY, MAR. 14TH MARSHA AMBROSIUS

What: This former Floetry member may be responsible for more slow jams and neo-soul ballads than anyone else on the planet. In addition to her solo career, she’s collaborated with Kanye, Dr. Dre, Robert Glasper and more.

More: $32 and up; 8 p.m.; Underground, 820 Hamilton St.; fillmorenc.com

FRIDAY, MAR. 15TH

LIFELINE

Pg. 16 Mar. 13 - Mar. 26, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM

MAR. 13TH- MAR. 19TH

CHATHAM COUNTY LINE

What: This veteran N.C. quartet uses the grammar of bluegrass to weave pop songwriting and instrumental virtuosity into folk-inflected tunes. They’re equally at home with earthy laments and whirligig barn burners.

More: $27.50 and up; 8 p.m.; McGlohon Theater, 345 N. College St.; blumenthalarts.org

SATURDAY, MAR. 16TH

PETROV RELEASE SHOW

What: In February, Queen City Nerve premiered “Divine Wine,” Petrov’s first single off their debut album, Sleep Year. Now, catch the rest of it at their album release party, where they’ll be joined by a kickass local lineup: Patois Counselors, Jail Socks and Pullover.

More: $5; 10 p.m.; Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St.; snugrock.com

SUNDAY, MAR. 17TH

HOZIER

What: It’s been a long time since Hozier’s debut EP, Take Me To Church, which launched this seemingly “tortured soul” singer’s career. After four years, Hozier has released his second studio album, Wasteland, Baby!, which takes a more rock-n-roll turn away from his acoustic ballads about stormy love.

More: $82 and up; 8 p.m.; Ovens Auditorium, 2700 E. Independence Blvd.; ovensauditorium.com.

MONDAY, MAR. 18TH I AM WOMAN: HEAR ME POUR

What: In honor of Maker’s Mark founder Margie Samuels, the whiskey company is teaming up with Unpretentious Palate to celebrate five women making a mark on their industries, colleagues and communities. Keynote speaker Katy Kindred will share her experience finding success in a male-dominated industry.

More: $50; 11 a.m. - 2 p.m.; The Ballantyne, 10000 Ballantyne Commons Parkway; tinyurl.com/PourUpWithPalate

TUESDAY, MAR. 19TH

‘DEAR EVAN HANSEN’

What: This stage production features a haunting score and a heartbreaking story about loneliness and virtual lives and lies. Called “one of the most remarkable shows in musical theatre history” by The Washington Post, it’s a rare musical that’s not derived from an existing source.

More: $34.50 and up; through March 24, times vary; Belk Theater, 130 N. Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org

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MARSHA AMBROSIUS

What: This former Floetry member may be responsible for more slow jams and neo-soul ballads than anyone else on the planet. In addition to her solo career, she’s collaborated with Kanye, Dr. Dre, Robert Glasper and more.

More: $32 and up; 8 p.m.; Underground, 820 Hamilton St.; fillmorenc.com

WEDNESDAY, MAR. 20TH

IRREVERSIBLE QUARTET

What: As part of its new Avant Goodyear series, which will feature a number of avant-garde acts, Goodyear Arts will host Philly, D.C. and New York collective Irreversible Quartet. Described as “a kinetic bubbling over of collective political and spiritual energy,” IQ will be joined by Charlotte free jazz evangelists Ghost Trees.

More: Free; 7:30 p.m.; Goodyear Arts, 301 Camp Rd.; goodyeararts.com

THURSDAY, MAR. 21ST

BUILD PEOPLE, NOT PRISONS

What: Attorney Daryl Atkinson, President Obama’s first Second Chance Fellow and cofounder of Forward Justice, is the featured speaker at the spring fundraiser for Center for Community Transitions, a local advocacy group for people affected by incarceration. Radio personality Francene Marie Morris will be on hand to emcee.

More: $50; 5:30-8 p.m.; Warehouse 242, 2307 Wilkinson Blvd.; tinyurl.com/BuildPeople

FRIDAY, MAR. 22ND

LIFELINE

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MAR. 20TH- MAR. 26TH

IT LOOKS SAD.

What: Jimmy Turner and Alex Ruiz combine sharp guitar licks and a subdued melancholy tune to get listeners in their feels. Personal lyrics and a soothing despair punctuate their songs, but don’t let the band name get you too off track. Songs like “Bike” from last year’s Sky Lake EP are uplifting, nostalgic tunes. They only look sad.

More: $7; 8 p.m.; Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave.; petrasbar.com

SATURDAY, MAR. 23RD LOOSE LEAVES SHOWCASE

What: One of the most diverse dance experiences you’ll find in Charlotte, the 10th annual Loose Leaves Showcase will feature choreography from AJ Glasco of the Crayzee Collective, D-Steppers, the MuhfukaWorks Dance Co., Twin Nation Dance Company and Chris Thompson Cultural Ensemble, among others.

More: $12; March 23-24, 7:30 p.m.; Duke Energy Theater, 345 N. College St.; tinyurl.com/LooseLeaves

SUNDAY, MAR. 24TH

TRAVIS SCOTT

What: You saw him perform for all of 30 seconds during the Super Bowl halftime show, now see a whole set from Travis Scott before he has his whole life ruined from dating a Kardashian. One half of “Sicko Mode,” the man with two first names, what else can we say?

More: $40 and up; 8 p.m.; Spectrum Center, 333 E. Trade St.; spectrumcentercharlotte.com

MONDAY, MAR. 25TH THA ALKAHOLIKS

What: Sure, Earl Sweatshirt is at The Fillmore on the same night, but that’s sold out, and if you can’t land a ticket, you’re just as well off to hit up Knocturnal and see Tha Liks, a trio that beautifully walks the line between party anthems and hardcore hip-hop.

More: $15; 10 p.m.; Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St.; snugrock.com

TUESDAY, MAR. 26TH CLEMSON TIGERS AT UNC CHARLOTTE 49ERS

What: The Charlotte Knights will be back in Uptown come April, but if you need your baseball fix sooner than that, the Sunbelt Collegiate Baseball Series wraps up with a matchup between the hometown 49ers and the Tigers team from below the border.

More: $10 and up; 7:05 p.m.; BB&T Ballpark, 324 S. Mint St.; bbtballparkcharlotte.com

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PHOTO BY CONNOR SCHLOSSER, OBSCVRE PHOTOGRAPHY

Jackson Owens (left) and Kevin Pearce of Kairos.

THE METAL INDEX

Kairos. and Den of Wolves get heavy at The Milestone

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S

BY PAT MORAN

AVIEN DAVIS had to learn to love heavy metal.

The drummer for metalcore power trio Den of Wolves initially found the genre’s harsh vocals, technical riffs and whiplash time signature changes cold.

“I was into blues, rap and soul,” says Davis, now 31. “When I first heard metal, I thought it was all screaming and yelling. It was like scratching on a chalkboard.”

Chris Deitz, lead vocalist with progressive metal and tech death quintet Kairos. (punctuation intended), admits that he once briefly shared some trepidation about performing heavy music: “I thought I would never listen to [metal]. Now here I am onstage.”

The two will be on the same stage March 18, when Kairos. and Den of Wolves share a bill at The Milestone to celebrate the release of the latter’s first full-length album, Lovesdead.

Deitz joined Kairos. — comprised of himself, bassist Jackson Owens, drummer Dalton Holland and guitarists Tony Davis and Kevin Pearce — four years ago when he replaced original vocalist Nick Geerken. At first the music afforded him an outlet

for teen angst, he says, but he quickly embraced the genre’s challenging, virtuosic playing and its intricate world-building and storytelling.

“I like to think we’re like the universe,” he says.

“Once we create something we start zooming outward like the Big Bang.”

Davis has also made the adjustment to grinding riffs and growling vocals since forming Den of Wolves in 2015 with brothers Tristen (lead vocalist/bass guitarist/backup vocalist and Khalil England (lead and rhythm guitarist). He compares the progression to adjusting to a relationship: The genre may require more effort from a musician, but the music rewards the effort in abundant ways. Playing with Den of Wolves continually keeps Davis on his toes.

“You never know when you’re going to slow down or speed up,” he says. “You have to be versatile and you have to play with talented people.”

In 2013, Den of Wolves members first came together in a band called New Religion, an alternative rock group that combined disparate concepts. Khalil says the project never jelled. When the band dissolved, the England brothers and Davis decided to stay together and strike out in a new

musical direction.

Tristan, at 24 the older of the two brothers, started getting into the metalcore genre, an offshoot of grindcore that mixes frenzied breakdowns with slow and intense passages.

Khalil, 21, who got into rock through grunge bands like Rage Against the Machine, pinpoints Den of Wolves’ music as heavy alternative with hardcore punk influences. While Davis had to come to grips with the trio’s seesawing musical switchbacks and relentless bone-crushing grind, Tristan had to make a different kind of adjustment when he switched from backing vocal for New Religion to lead vocals for Den of Wolves.

“Oh my god, it was freaking awful,” Tristan remembers with a laugh. It took a while before Tristan was fully comfortable playing an instrument while singing at the same time, he continues.

“I have immense respect for any musician that sings and plays an instrument proficiently. It’s an amazing talent.”

With learning curves passed by and adjustments made, the trio is poised for a breakthrough, the brothers say.

“The past four years we’ve been writing and working on the direction we want to take as a band,” Tristan says. “It’s come to the point where we’ve finally figured out the kind of music that we want to make.”

That music will be featured at The Milestone release gig, where Den of Wolves will debut Lovesdead.

Deitz grew up in Lenoir listening to country music before Evanescence and Linkin Park plunged him into a nu metal rabbit hole culminating in metalcore outfits like Underoath. He’s the first to admit that all these metal terms can be confusing.

On the band’s website, Kairos. calls their music a mix of progressive metal and tech death.

But what does that mean?

Deitz explains that progressive metal started in the 1970s with groups like Dream Theater, which focused on tricky time signatures, key changes, complex themes and long-format songs. “That’s always been a big draw of that genre for me,” Deitz says. “You listen to something and you have no clue what’s going on, but you give it another few listens and you begin to understand. It’s a learning process.” As for tech death, it’s an evolution of death metal, Deitz continues.

“You’ve got a lot of black beats, some guy roaring over the mic, and a lot of shredding and technical arpeggios,” he says.

Kairos., which takes its name from the ancient Greek word for an opportune time and/or place, used to focus on lyrics pertaining to Greek mythology, Deitz says, but the band has moved on

to develop their own mythology, telling a longform story that carries over from subsequent releases to their 2018 full-length album Simulgression.

The band continues to follow an increasingly heavy and technical path. Deitz says he can probably count on one hand the number of times the band has played a song in four-four times.

Both Kairos. and Den of Wolves feel their experimentation and musical development is supported by Charlotte’s metal fans, an often misunderstood community.

“They’re the nicest people you’ll ever meet,” Deitz says. “I can’t tell you how many shows we played in Charlotte where our friends from other bands are out there supporting us, taking pictures and making videos. It’s really a circle of life.”

Khalil England also touts the health, variety and energy of the local fan base. He believes the North Carolina metal scene is currently overpopulated with talent, and many bands are incredible supportive of one another.

“There are so many amazing bands doing amazing things,” Khalil says. “It’s basically like we’re sharing the same $15 for a t-shirt amongst each us,” he adds laughing.

Despite the positive prognosis, Den of Wolves and Kairos. accept that they still have to educate listeners about heavy metal and clear up misconceptions about the genre. The most common error people make is thinking that the music isn’t saying anything, Deitz says. Listeners think it’s just meaningless banging and yelling, but Deitz believes metal can be the most beautiful and articulate music.

“There are many different genres and so many different ways for metal acts to express themselves,” Deitz says.

Khalil maintains that a lot of people may be intimidated by metal’s abrasive edge. They believe the genre is about anger and violence, he explains, when it is often a therapeutic outlet for releasing frustration.

“It’s not a scary thing,” he says. “I think people don’t take the time to understand it, or they just don’t want to,” he continues. “But I believe that the more open you are to everything around you, the better you are as a person.”

Tristan believes there is beauty in all genres of music. If artists are putting their emotions and a part of themselves into their music, no matter if it’s country, rap or K-pop, they’re creating something from their souls, he says.

“If it means something to them, it can also mean something to any number of different people.”

PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM

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SOUNDWAVE MARCH 13

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Tank & the Bangas, Maggie Koerner, Alfred Banks

(Neighborhood Theatre) Niiice., Couch Surfer, Leith K. Ali (Milestone) State Champs, Our Last Night (Underground) Hippie Sabotage, Sebastian Paul (Fillmore) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Cody Webb, Tom Mackell (Evening Muse) Brother Bird (Free Range Brewing)

MARCH 14

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Bellakeo Bash: Not-A-DJ Claudio, Julio the Mexican (Petra’s)

RAP/HIP HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B

The Jazz Room: Women in Jazz (Stage Door Theater)

Lil Tracy (Underground) ROOTS/BLUES/INTERNATIONAL

Charlotte Samba Social with Caique Vidal and Batuque & NCBAP (Petra’s)

Matt Walsh (Comet Grill) JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Secret Nudist Friends, Broke Jokes (Milestone) Clark Beckham, Tim Halperin (Evening Muse) The Barons (Tin Roof) RAP/HIP HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B

Lucciano Da G (Skylark Social Club) JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

The Jazz Room: Women in Jazz (Stage Door Theater)

MARCH 15 Pg. 20 Mar. 13 - Mar. 26 , 2019 - QCNERVE.COM

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Nerve Endings, Sunday Boxing, Family Friend (Milestone) “Latin Masquerade” w/ Primavera Zero, Los Acoustic Guys, Dorian Gris (Snug Harbor) Nothing More, Of Mice & Men, Badflower, Palisades (Fillmore) Road to Shakori: Electric Kif and The Moon Unit (Evening Muse) BentWater (Hattie’s Tap & Tavern) Matt Bennett Band (Tin Roof) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill)

ROOTS/BLUES/INTERNATIONAL

The Log Noggins (Thomas Street Tavern) Cody Dickinson & Friends, Great Peacock (Visulite) Tony Lucca, Eliot Bronson (Evening Muse) Lover’s Leap (Midwood Guitar Studio)

The Jazz Room: Women in Jazz (Stage Door Theater)

MARCH 16

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Tropidelic, Roots of Rebellion (Neighborhood Theatre) Bottle Of Smoke, The Flight Risks, Negulators: St. Paddy’s Party (Tommy’s Pub) James Maddock (Evening Muse) Hunter’s Travesty (Comet Grill) April B & the Cool (Thomas Street Tavern) Bruns, Preachervan (Evening Muse) TWiNVASiON (Crown Station) Lords of Acid, Orgy, Genitorturers, Little Miss Nasty (Underground) Aarodynamics (Hattie’s Tap & Tavern) Matone, Woodie & String Pullers (Mac’s Speed Shop, Matthews) St. Paddy’s Afternoon Bash: Mojo Ruckus (Rabbit Hole) Upstate (Free Range Brewing) Lauren Daigle (Ovens Auditorium) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Diamond Rio (Coyote Joe’s) Early Ray Band (Primal Brewery)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

MARCH 17

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Antenora, Nemesis, Altar Blood (Milestone) Metal Church Sunday Service (Milestone) NeverFall, Waft, Cadaver Creator, Hatteras (Skylark Social Club) Omari & The Hellhounds (Comet Grill) ROOTS/BLUES

Bluegrass Open Jam w/ Greg M Clarke & Friends (Tommy’s Pub)

MARCH 18

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Cito Jamorah and Friends (Smokey Joe’s) Couch Surfer, Voice Of Addiction, Dumpster Service, Morganton Dares (Tommy’s Pub) RAP/HIP HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B

Jazz Jam Hosted by Occie Davids, Troy Conin, Ron Brendle (Crown Station) Knocturnal (Snug Harbor)

MARCH 19

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Ryan Patrick White, Home For The Day, Dorm Rooms (Skylark Social Club) Heckdang w/ TKO Faith Healer, Asbestos Boys, Alright (Snug Harbor) March Residency feat. Run Engine (Tommy’s Pub) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

SOUNDWAVE Red Rockin’ Chair (Comet Grill) Uptown Unplugged with Lisa De Novo (Tin Roof) JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

Jesse Lamar Williams & the Menastree Jazz Jam (Evening Muse)

MARCH 20

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The Emotron, Faking, Asbestos Boys (Milestone) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Eric Hutchinson: Modern Happiness Solo Acoustic, Nick Howard (Neighborhood Theatre) RAP/HIP HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B

Moneybagg Yo (Underground)

MARCH 21

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ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Coco Montoya, Tinsley Ellis (Neighborhood Theatre) Kyle Daniel (Evening Muse) Shana Blake and Friends (Smokey Joe’s Café) Mike Strauss Trio (Comet Grill) LeAnna Eden Video Release Party w/ Azulz, The Bleus (Petra’s) Jake Bartley Band (Tin Roof) John Mellencamp (Ovens Auditorium) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Mike Alicke (Summit Coffee House, Davidson) Matt Minchew (RiRa)

MARCH 22

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Flatfoot 56, South Side Punx, Bitterhearts (Milestone)

Cosmic Charlie: Grateful Dead Tribute (Visulite) bloom., Never Home, Rothschild, American Spirits (Skylark Social Club)

Theodore, Greg Keys (Evening Muse) The Collection, Cinders (Snug Harbor) To Better Waters, Akita (Hattie’s Tap & Tavern) Rusty Knox (Summit Coffee House, Davidson) The Jump Cut (Tin Roof) Jared & the Mill (Free Range Brewing) Beyond Mars Tour (Tommy’s Pub) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Lanco (Coyote Joe’s) Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill) Ghost-Note w/ Louis Cato (Heist Brewery) RAP/HIP HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B

Grand Marquis, Hustle Souls (Evening Muse) HellaColab (Crown Station) ROOTS/BLUES/INTERNATIONAL

Mambo Fridays Featuring Rumbao! (Rabbit Hole) Los Acosta (Underground)

MARCH 23

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Buckethead (Neighborhood Theatre) Gustaf, Pecas (Solo), DUMB Doctors, Broke Jokes (Snug Harbor) Bergenline, Warrington, Kid Macho (Crown Station) Solemn Shapes, Anchor Detail, Eyeball (Tommy’s Pub) Road To Grungefest: Lollapalooza ‘92 & ‘93 Revisited: Jeremy’s Ten, Enrage Against The Machine, Angry Chair, Badmotorfinge (Underground) Pröwess, AMFMs, The Bleeps, Johnny Z, Shiv (Skylark Social Club) Temperance League (Mac’s Speed Shop, Matthews) The Mammoths, Red Dress Amy (Evening Muse) Gogol Bordello, NuFolk Rebel Alliance (Fillmore) Wicked Powers (RiRa) Cooper Alan (Tin Roof) The Remarks (Primal Brewery)

Pg. 22 Mar. 13 - Mar. 26, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM

OUT OF THE FRYING PAN

Kris Reid

PHOTO COURTESY OF PIEDMONT CULINARY GUILD

High service industry burnout rate causes concern

I

BY COURTNEY MIHOCIK

MAGINE THIS: it’s 9 p.m. on a Friday night, and you’re working at a busy restaurant. The air is filled with the loud voices of guests digging into appetizers and dinner plates while sipping

wine and cocktails, but you’re in the kitchen over hot stoves, trying to cook up consistent perfection.

Or you’re hustling back and forth from the bar to the kitchen and back to tables for refills, vying for

the good graces of your guests so that you can pay your bills with their gratuity.

After a long shift, it’s finally 2 a.m. and you’re tired, but you know the next day is going to be

almost exactly the same — and the day after that and the day after that. How do you cope? Pick up a cigarette addiction? Self-medicate with alcohol?

Slip into harder drugs to ease the come-down from adrenaline that’s been coursing through your body for the last six hours? Many who face this reality fall into a cycle that leads to one of the most common ailments among workers in the service industry: burnout.

Burnout affects countless people in the service industry — namely in the restaurant and hospitality fields. Long hours and constant high levels of stress cause some people to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms or quit the industry altogether, leaving more stress on those trying to fill shifts and find new employees. According to the The United States Bureau of Labor Statistics, in 2016, the turnover rate in the restaurant and accommodations sector was 70 percent. But why does burnout happen? And why is it so prevalent in restaurants?

Kris Reid, the executive director of the Piedmont Culinary Guild, with over a decade of cheffing in the industry, says the environment itself may be to blame.

“There’s always been a very destructive undertone in the culinary culture that includes very demanding positions physically, emotionally and mentally,” she said, adding that the pressure can be especially high for chefs.

“As a chef, you’re putting out your craft every day for people to judge and if people don’t have a good experience, that can beat the hell out of you emotionally,” Reid continued. “In addition to that, after running a high-stress service shift, we typically don’t take it down by using breathing techniques or going for a walk, we go get amped up with stimulants like cigarettes and alcohol or drugs.”

Piedmont Culinary Guild hosts a yearly symposium that brings in professionals in farming, business and culinary facets of the restaurant industry. In the past, they’ve focused solely on those three tracks for the day-long Food and Beverage Symposium. For this year’s event on March 17 at Johnson & Wales University, the guild has added a new track: mental wellness.

Reid said the addition was made by popular demand, as so many in the restaurant industry look for a platform to discuss and address the issues of burnout.

“In the industry, burnout talk, I think that you will hear a lot about the egregious nature in which people have been abused in the industry, and

Pg. 23 Mar. 13 - Mar. 26, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM

FOOD AND BEVERAGE SYMPOSIUM March 17, 7:15 a.m.; $85; Johnson & Wales University, 801 W. Trade St.; piedmontculinaryguild.com

also how they abused themselves in the industry, and part of this conversation clearly will include sobriety as a pathway toward mental health for some people,” she said.

Many people around the world struggle with sobriety, but it can be especially difficult in the restaurant industry. While most fields have no tolerance for alcohol abuse of any sort, in restaurants it’s often accepted as the crutch that gets you through the day and onto the next shift.

In 2016, Ben Murray was helping chef Steve Palmer with the opening of a new restaurant. The two had worked together on and off for about 20 years, and Palmer invited him to assist in a new concept in South Carolina. Even though Murray appeared to be sober, never taking a drink at work, he was relapsing in his hotel room at night, and he eventually shot and killed himself.

Palmer was shocked to find that the man he had been working so closely with was in crisis, and disappointed that Murray felt he couldn’t reach out for help.

“I was really struck by the fact that on opening night in that restaurant, there were four people in recovery in the kitchen working next to Ben,” Palmer said. “But there was something in his ethos, something in the culture of the kitchen, that he didn’t feel like he could ask for help.”

In the wake of his friend’s suicide, Palmer partnered with Mickey Bakst, another chef, to start Ben’s Friends, a support group that caters specifically to those in the restaurant industry who are looking for a pathway to sobriety without having to leave the culinary field.

Since its inception, Ben’s Friends has expanded to seven cities. Two “chairs,” who are people in the industry that have been sober for at least a year, run weekly meetings in a format designed by Bakst and Palmer. The Charlotte chapter meets every Monday at 11 a.m. at Oak Steakhouse on Sharon Road near SouthPark Mall.

With the launch of Ben’s Friends and other organizations across the country, the culture in the kitchen and behind the bar has begun to shift. It’s no longer taboo to pursue sobriety or start taking care of yourself before you begin taking care of guests.

Palmer said he’s noticed this shift in the culture.

“What’s great about our industry right now,

“AS A CHEF, YOU’RE PUTTING OUT YOUR CRAFT EVERY DAY FOR PEOPLE TO JUDGE AND IF PEOPLE DON’T HAVE A GOOD EXPERIENCE, THAT CAN BEAT THE HELL OUT OF YOU EMOTIONALLY.” Kris Reid, Piedmont Culinary Guild

we spend every night taking care of other people and I think we’re finally learning to take care of ourselves and take care of each other.

There’s this real sort of awareness around human sustainability, where we’re starting to realize you can’t work like this and then go out after work and blow yourself to bits and expect to be a whole human being.”

Even though Ben’s Friends is only in a few Southern cities plus one in Portland, Oregon, Palmer believes that his and Bakst’s organization can grow to cover the entire country.

“My goal is 50 states. I wanna be in every state in America,” Palmer said. “I think that there’s a need. I think that based on the response we’re feeling, there’s desire.”

Amber Donoghue, a bartender at Empire Pizza & Bar in Fort Mill, South Carolina, has lived her entire professional life in the restaurant and service industry. Though she enjoys bartending and calls herself a “lifer,” she can relate to the feeling of burnout.

It’s not only about the pressure of what’s happening at work, but what’s happening outside of work. After all, a server’s busiest hours are the times when everyone else’s social lives are at their most active.

“You miss a lot,” Donoghue said. “You’re like the stage and the players get to walk on the stage

and live their life, do the thing, and you don’t. You miss almost all of life. You get to witness all of it.”

Donoghue has mastered her own self-care tactics as a way of riding out the storm of slinging drinks and the chaos of late nights, as she explained when we met in her favorite spot, Trade & Lore coffee shop in NoDa. She’s even got her favorite corner where she finds the most peace.

“I sit in this corner, I read,” she said. “I took the T.V. off the wall [at home] like four years ago, because it’s noise.”

After a particularly bad day at work, Donoghue might bring her circa 1950s Magnavox record player off the shelf, place it on the floor and blast jazz music at full volume while she lies on the hardwood to feel the vibrations.

“I have a record collection that I love a lot. I just turn it all the way up on the wood floor and let the vibration seep into my body as much as possible to shake me out of the insanity,” Donoghue added.

“Just ’cause you need something to get you out [of the stress].”

When addressing mental health in the restaurant industry, Reid said she thinks that focusing on the good rather than the bad will help bring about more change in culture.

“I really would like to see conversation be about the change that is happening because of the attention that is being drawn ... pulling back

the curtain on the back of house in restaurants, and even the front of house,” she said. “And really showcasing some of the dysfunction that has happened in the past is helping us find a better way forward as a community.”

One way to move forward is with the help of the consumers. According to Reid, the prices on the menu are not accurately reflecting the price and value of labor that brings the product from harvest to kitchen to table.

Consumers may be compliant in burnout without even knowing the harm that they’re doing, so it’s important for the general public to understand menu prices.

“We’re not willing to raise those menu prices because we won’t be able to compete with the guy next door, but the reality is that as long as those prices are deflated, so is the price of that labor that we can afford,” Reid stated. “The consumers have to eventually understand their role in the dysfunction of the industry. They are part of the dysfunction because of their demand on the industry and their unwillingness to pay for the service.”

In the meantime, organizations such as Ben’s Friends and Piedmont Culinary Guild will continue working to ease the onslaught of burnout, so restaurant employees can get out of the frying pan and stay out of the fire.

CMIHOCIK@QCNERVE.COM

DILWORTH

DILWORTH NEIGHBORHOOD GRILLE

Monday: $3 Jack Daniels Tuesday: $3 Tres Generaciones, $10 Don Julio 1942 Wednesday: $3 Bulleit Bourbon Thursday: $3 Espolon Friday: $3 George Dickel No. 8 Saturday: $3 Lunazul Sunday: $3 Larceny Bourbon

Monday: $4 Crown & Down Tuesday: $4 drafts, $12 pitchers, $5 flights of North Carolina drafts Wednesday: 1/2 price wine bottles and martinis Thursday: $12 domestic buckets, $18 import buckets Friday: $3 craft drafts, $5 flavored vodka Saturday: $5 mason jar cocktails Sunday: $4 bloody marys

300EAST

SUMMIT ROOM

BAKERSFIELD

Monday: 1/2 off wines by the glass Tuesday: $4 drafts Tuesday: 1/2 off beer cans and glasses of Italian Wednesday: 1/2 off glasses of wine reds Thursday: $7 Summit cocktails Thursday: $3.50 local drafts, $8.50 Matilda Wong cocktails SOUTH END Sunday: 1/2 off wine bottles, $5 mimosas & bloody marys, $6 Bellinis COMMON MARKET SOUTH END BAD DADDY’S BURGER BAR

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Monday: 20-oz. draft for 16 oz. price Tuesday: $5 specialty cocktails Wednesday: $3.50 local drafts Saturday-Sunday: $5 bloody marys and mimosas

Monday: 1/2 off select pints Tuesday: Free beer tasting 5-7 p.m.

Wednesday: $2 off select pints, wine tasting 5-7 p.m.

BIG BEN PUB

Monday: $5.50 20-oz. NoDa craft beer, $2.00

off vodka Wednesday: $5.25 20-oz. Spaten, 1/2 price wine bottles Friday: $5.50 20-oz. Crispin and Guinness, $5 Dale’s Fireball shot Saturday: $5.50 20-oz. seasonal beers, $5 mimosas and bloody marys Sunday: $5.25 20-oz. Boddington, $5 mimosas and bloody marys

Thursday: $2.50 PBR, $5 Jack Daniels & Titos

UPTOWN THE LOCAL

Monday: $7 Casamigos, $2 Natty Boh and Miller High Life, $5 Jager Tuesday: $3 Modelo, $5 house margaritas, $5 Don Julio Wednesday: $5 Crown & Down, $3 Southern MAC’S SPEED SHOP Tier Monday: $3 pints, $5 Titos Thursday: $5 Captain Morgan, $7 craft mules, Tuesday: 1/2 price wine, $3 mystery draft $16 Bud Light buckets Wednesday: $4 tall boys, $5 Lunazul Blanco Thursday: $3 mystery cans and bottles, $4 Jim Friday: $3 Jello shots, $4 drafts, $5 wells Saturday: $3 PBR, $5 Jager Beam Friday: $1 off brewery of the month (Stone), $5 Sunday: $7 loaded mimosa, $7 Grey Goose bloody mary, $16 Bud Light buckets Fireball Saturday: $1 off North Carolina pints, $6.50 THE DAILY TAVERN vodka Red Bull Wednesday: $5 whiskey Sunday: $4 bloody marys and mimosas Thursday: $4 pint night Sunday: $4 Miller Lite, $6 bloody marys GIN MILL Monday: $5 Titos and New Amsterdam, $4 craft beer WORLD OF BEER Tuesday: 1/2 price wine Monday: $2 off North Carolina drafts and spirits Wednesday: $4 draft beer Tuesday: 25 percent off bottles and cans, $5

mules Wednesday: 1/2 priced wine, wheats and sangrias Thursday: $4 old school, $4 well, $4 signature shots Friday-Saturday: $3 shot of the week Sunday: $2 mimosas, $3 bloody mary and beermosas

NODA CABO FISH TACO

Monday: $5 El Cheapo margarita Tuesday: $3.50 Tecate and Tecate Light, $5 Altos silver tequila Wednesday: $7 Absolut Lime Moscow mule Thursday: $1 off neighborhood beers on draft Friday-Saturday: $8 margarita special Sunday: $5 mimosas, $6 Absolut Peppar bloody mary, $7 Absolut Lime Moscow mule JACKBEAGLE’S

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Monday: $5 Cuervo margaritas Tuesday: $3 drafts, $5 vodka Red Bull Wednesday: $1 off whiskey Thursday: $6 Deep Eddy’s vodka Red Bull

Friday: $5 Fun-Dip shots, $5 Crown Black Saturday: $5 Gummy Bear shots, $5 big mimosa, $6.50 double bloody mary Sunday: $5 big mimosa, $6.50 double bloody mary

$5 White Gummy Bear shots $4 Draft special every day!

BILLY JACK’S SHACK

Monday: $1 off moonshine and moonshine cocktails, $3 domestics SANCTUARY PUB Tuesday: $1 off all drafts, $7 Jameson Monday: $7 Bulleit and Bulleit Rye, $3 Wednesday: $1 off bottles and cans Yuengling and PBR APA Thursday: $4.50 wells Tuesday: $6 Tuaca, $6 Tullamore Dew Friday: $5 Fireball, $1 off local bottles and cans Wednesday: $3 Birdsong beers, $5 Sauza, $6 Saturday: $4 mimosas $5 Brunch Punch, Espolon Sunday: $4 mimosas, $5 Brunch Punch, $5 Thursday: $2 Bartender Bottles, $6 Crown Royal Fireball, $10 champagne bottles Sunday: $3 Birdsong, $3 Tall or Call NODA 101

Monday: $4 Ketel One Lemon Drop, $4 well liquor, $5 Camerena Tuesday: $6 seasonal cocktails, $6 Jameson, $4 Grape Gatorade Wednesday: $5 Green Tea Shot, $6 Blue Balls Thursday: $5 Jagermeister, $6 vodka Redbull, $6 Oxley Gin Cocktail Friday: $5 Fireball, $6 vodka Red Bull, $6 Jameson Saturday: $5 Fireball, $6 vodka Red Bull Sunday: $5 Deep Eddy Flavors, $1 off tequila,

PLAZA MIDWOOD HATTIE’S TAP & TAVERN

Monday: $6 Pabst & Paddy’s Tuesday: $5 Fireball Wednesday: $3 mystery craft beers Thursday: $6 margaritas Friday-Saturday: $5 well drinks Sunday: $10 domestic buckets INTERMEZZO

Monday: $4 Makers Mark, $2 domestic bottles Tuesday: $4 margaritas, $7 Titos mules, $3

Blanche de Bruxelles, $3 OMB Copper Wednesday: 1/2 price wine bottles, $2 off bourbon of the week Thursday: $6.50 Ketel One Botanical Series, $4 Stoli Friday: $4 20-oz. Birdsong LazyBird Brown Ale and Birdsong Jalapeño Ale Saturday: 1/2 price martinis Sunday: $3 drafts

ELIZABETH CASWELL STATION

Monday: $2 domestics, $4 well drinks Tuesday: $3 pints, $5 Deep Eddy’s Vodka Wednesday: $3.50 North Carolina drafts, $5 Bulleit, 1/2 price bottles of wine Thursday: 1/2 price signature cocktails, $2 Tecate cans, $3 Dos Equis & Modelo Friday: $3 Yeungling drafts, $6 Crown Apple Saturday: $3.50 pub cans, $6 Jameson Sunday: $2 mimosas, $4 bloody marys, $10 domestic buckets

SURVIVING ST. PADDY’S

When the clock strikes amateur hour

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BY JUSTIN ZALEWSKI

TIME FOR A history lesson: St. Patrick’s Day — or Feast Day of St. Patrick, patron saint of Ireland — is a religious celebration-turned-cultural-shitshow.

Ol’ Saint Pat was actually born in Roman Britain in the late fourth century. That’s right, he was not born in Ireland. He was kidnapped at the age of 16 and taken to Ireland as a slave. Celebrations of Saint Patrick commemorated the arrival of Christianity in Ireland. Legend has it that St. Patrick waved his mighty staff and rid Ireland of all the snakes from the Emerald Isle. March 17 is now a global celebration of Irish culture. Parades are held all across the globe, during which folks drink Guinness, Jameson or whatever the hell they want to as long as it’s got green food dye in it.

Charlotte has its own mid-March tradition that’s grown over two decades to become colloquially known as the world’s largest pub crawl, making Charlotte a sureshot destination for St. Paddy’s shenanigans. This year’s Rich & Bennett’s annual St. Patrick’s Day Pub Crawl will be the 19th iteration, with more than 20,000 people expected to sprawl through Uptown wearing green shirts, consuming the streets like a tsunami of drunken whirling dervishes. Hoards of bros and Beckys adorned in green get-ups will come to worship St. Patrick at the altar, though some of whom will change loyalties later and pray to a porcelain god.

As a bartender in Charlotte for the past 12 years, I’ve seen more than my share of tomfoolery.

I remember my first year working St. Paddy’s in Charlotte like it was yesterday; a scene that can only be described as a mob of zombies from the walking dead with a thirst for green alcohol. I watched

from atop the EpiCentre as thousands of similarly dressed hooligans descended upon Trade Street like an ominous green cloud looking to evaporate all the alcohol. All walks of life transform into unrecognizable creatures in the name of St. Patrick.

I’ve seen your run-of-the-mill public vomiting. I’ve seen people use dining rooms as restrooms. I’ve seen humans mating in plain sight like dogs. It’s quite a day, indeed.

I am here for you in your most amateur of all amateur hours! I’d like to share some some tips on how to make this day a memorable one — and a survivable one for the hardworking soldiers behind the bar. Most service industry folks strap themselves in for shifts that last over 15 hours in some cases (go to page 22 to read all about the effects that has on someone’s mental capacity). Have some compassion for the bar staff, because they’re the only ones equipped and ready to serve your every St. Paddy’s Day need.

Let’s start with the most important piece of preparation that will help set you up for success: breakfast. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It not only gives you the much-needed fuel to start your day, but when you’re going to be drinking all day, it serves as your sponge of a safety net.

H2O is good for you. Make sure you consume as much water as you can. Have at least one glass of water per hour. It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon, so pace yourself. The last thing you want to do is end up a puddle of humanity on the side of an Uptown street before lunchtime.

Come prepared with cash money! Cash is so much faster for a bartender-patron transaction. If not using cash to start your tab, do not close this tab out until you are ready to move on to the next bar.

Use the buddy system. Too often I’ve seen late in the day a poor girl not know what planet she is on because she lost her friends and then followed her imparied instincts. Trust me, the predators of the world smell blood in the water and prey on unsuspecting sheep that have strayed from the herd.

Be safe, and keep your friends safe. Or just don’t be a predator and let people enjoy their lives without the fear of being preyed upon during a celebration.

Follow this simple advice and I can promise that you will enjoy your day to the fullest. Or you can do the opposite and not eat all day, pregame, sprint out of the gates with five Irish Car Bombs and three shots of Jameson. Hell, why don’t you even bring that new person you’ve been seeing that you want to get more serious with. That will end nicely.

May the luck of the Irish be with you, and remember, always tip your bartenders!

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

LILLY SPA 704-392-8099 MON-SUN 9AM-11PM EXIT 37 OFF I-85

WE ACCEPT ALL MAJOR CREDIT CARDS

SOUTH ON BEATTIES FORD THEN FIRST RIGHT ON MONTANA DRIVE (LOCATED 1/2 MILE ON THE LEFT 714-G MONTANA DRIVE

NAME IN THE CENTER

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ACROSS

1 Symphony, e.g.

5 Sing like Bing 10 Pampers product 16 Mensa stats 19 Scheme 20 Big artery 21 Flowery 22 Almond, e.g.

23 31-day period honoring TV’s Joy? [actor] 25 Greek letters 26 With 47-Down, Christmas evergreen 27 Fall back into illness 28 Place with a lot of refuse-disposal chambers? [swimmer] 30 Old space station 31 Slash 32 Ovine noise 34 And others, in a list 35 Brutes of fantasy 36 Smears gunk on rugged mountain ranges? [hockey player] 40 Shows up 41 Sequence in heredity 42 Robber, e.g.

43 Bat hangout 46 Finals, e.g.

48 Seven-figure income earned in a Nebraska city? [actor] 54 Scheme 57 DVD- -59 Little barks 60 “The King --” 61 Guilty feeling 64 One doing penance 68 Olympic speed skater Eric 70 Ethyl ender 71 Prohibition of quick insights? [investor] 74 Suffix with journal 75 Item in a file cabinet 77 Ideal conditions 78 Imply 80 Field of study 81 Sikorsky of aviation

83 Dir. from N.D. to La. 85 “Not -- goes by ...”

86 Promise to marry a cute marsupial? [painter] 91 Novelist Hermann 94 Waikiki necklaces 95 Rene of “Get Shorty” 97 Poland’s Lech 101 Sounded like a kitten 105 Pale-colored wall paneling for a room? [writer] 107 Final, e.g.

108 2004 Chevy debut 111 Storm center 112 Demolition stuff 113 -- -cone (icy treat) 114 Products applied to back-of-the-neck sunburns? [actor] 117 City in north-central California 119 Adding result 120 “Finally!”

121 “C” grade ... or what eight answers in this puzzle have?

124 Draw upon 125 Fix, as Fido 126 Less-played half of a 45 127 Morales of movies 128 As stated in 129 Lorne of “Bonanza” 130 A bit off 131 Old-time comic Ed

38 In that case 39 “Mr. St. Nick” actress Ortiz 40 Animator’s frame 43 -- terrier 44 Roadie’s tote 45 Hindu trinity member 47 See 26-Across 49 Wolflike carnivores 50 China’s Chou En- -51 “And how!”

52 Ukrainian port city 53 Fifteen times six 54 Quick-to-build home 55 Poe maiden 56 Brunch fare 58 Line of Apple computers 62 Actress -- Dawn Chong 63 Elfish sort 65 “Tsk tsk!”

66 Kabuki sash 67 “Platoon” site, in brief 69 Ovum 72 Black crows 73 “Point taken” 76 Patriotic women’s gp.

79 Some Scots 82 F followers

DOWN

1 Sphere 2 Childishly silly 3 Herald, as a new era 4 Shut tightly 5 College locales 6 Perches 7 Sarah -- Jewett 8 Hitter Mel 9 “I’ll pass” 10 One capful, perhaps 11 Often-purple flowers 12 Major worry 13 Argentine plain 14 Web biz 15 Relax 16 Apprise 17 Apple or pear relative 18 Emphasis 24 Flower cluster 28 Ricochet 29 Animal park 30 Soup enhancer 32 Apiary insect 33 Guthrie with a guitar 37 Saying

SOLUTION ON PAGE 30

84 Program 87 Unoriginal 88 Actress Meyers 89 Swift sleds 90 Pale-faced 92 Hoodwinks 93 South Carolina river 96 Holy Mlle.

98 Euphoria 99 Desert of the southwest U.S. 100 -- -Z (total) 101 Botch the job 102 Pretext 103 Not as cold 104 Big bird 105 Relax 106 Disagreeing 108 Following 109 Think a lot of 110 Tickle pink 115 Snake tooth 116 To be, to Voltaire 117 1,502, in old Rome 118 Duck variety 121 Exec’s deg.

122 Suffix with journal 123 Cousin

MARCH 13 - MARCH 19 ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Take time from your busy schedule to check out what’s going on around you. You might find that someone has been secretly trying to pull the wool over those beautiful Sheep’s eyes.

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TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Once again, the Bovine’s boldness pays off in uncovering the source of a disturbing workplace situation. Your personal life calls for patience, as a certain matter plays itself out.

Congratulations. Your well-thought-out proposal seems to be working. Someone who hasn’t agreed with you on most things in the past could turn out to be one of your major supporters.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Things seem to be going well. However, you can still expect criticism — some of it pretty heavy. But as long as you can back up your position, you’ll be able to rise above it.

MARCH 20 - MARCH 26 ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Although you tend to bore easily and leave others to finish what you start, this is one time when you’d be wise to complete things on your own. Then you can move on to something new.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Your indecision about a personal situation might come out of those mixed signals you’re getting. Best not to make any commitments until you have a better sense of how things are going.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Forget about going all out to impress someone in your personal life.

Just being yourself is all that matters. A workplace decision will need more time. Don’t rush into it.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Getting together with people who care for you is a great way to get that ego boost you might feel you need at this time. Things start to look brighter by week’s end.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Some supersensitive Crabs might take offense at what they perceive as a slight. But a closer look points to a simple misunderstanding. The weekend holds a welcome surprise.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) You should be able to continue with your plans once you get past those temporary delays. Surprise, surprise. An offer to help comes from a most unlikely source.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) Sure, you can roar your head off over someone’s failure to keep a promise.

But the wiser course would be to ask why it happened. Be prepared for an answer that might well surprise you.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Prioritizing LEO (July 23 to August 22) A stressful situation your tasks is important this week because of all drains some of your energy reserves. But you soon those demands you have to deal with. The pressure bounce back in time to finish your tasks and enjoy eases in time for you to enjoy the weekend. a well-deserved weekend getaway.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) A developing relationship needs time to find its direction. So please be patient and resist pushing things along.

A recently cooled-down workplace situation could heat up again.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Save your energy and stay focused on what has to be done, despite all those distractions you’re likely to face.

You should see some evidence of real progress by week’s end.

BORN THIS WEEK: You are a generous, giving person who is always ready, willing and more than

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22)

able to help others in need.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) A dispute appears to be getting out of hand. But you should be able to step in and bring it all under control soon. Be patient. News about a potential career move might be delayed.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Career obligations could interfere with important personal plans.

But using a combination of common sense and compromise helps resolve the dilemma to everyone’s satisfaction.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) This is a good time to throw a party for friends and colleagues, and surprise them with your dazzling domestic skills. You also might want to reconsider that career move you put on hold.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) A sudden change of mind by someone you relied on could

cause a delay in moving ahead with your plans. But those whom you’ve helped out before are prepared to return the favor.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) You start the week feeling too shy to speak up in front of others. However, your self-assurance soon takes over, giving you the confidence you need to make yourself heard.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) One way to deal with a pesky personal dilemma this week is to meet it head-on. Insist on an explanation of why the situation reached this point and what can be done to change it.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) The creative Capricorn finds several outlets for her or his talents this week. Also note that while a romantic connection looks promising, remember to allow it to develop on its own.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) You stand out this week as the best friend a friend can have. But be careful that you don’t take too many bows, or you might see gratitude replaced with resentment.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) What seems to be an ideal investment should be checked out thoroughly before you snap at the offer and find yourself hooked by an expensive scam.

BORN THIS WEEK: Your wisdom is matched by your generosity. You are a person who people know they can rely on.

BURIED SECRETS

The sins of the grandfather

violence, WOE, a reckoning almost inevitably comes.

One day, the full horror of what was done to them My grandfather was a pillar of the did anything sexual with her besides taking snaps into focus. These reckonings can shatter lives, community and beloved by his family. He photos. But he did. And here’s the thing, Dan: relationships and souls.

It doesn’t sound like your mother ever had her was also sexually abusive. He died when I In the photos, she looks happy. I know she reckoning — that day never came for her — and was a child. I remember only one incident was probably acting, because that’s what so she never came to grips with what was done to happening to me — during a cuddle session, he wanted from her. But it just makes me her and, tragically, what was done to you. And your he encouraged me to put my mouth on his question my assumptions. Was it terrible aunt wasn’t the only member of your family who penis, and then told me to let it be our little abuse or forbidden love? Both? What am I secret. I heard rumors as an adult that he looking at? What would I prefer — that she “didn’t really think about the other stuff.” Denial and compartmentalization allowed your “pillar of molested other kids in the neighborhood. enjoyed it or that she didn’t? She kept the the community” grandfather to rape his daughter, He also had a sexual relationship with my photos. Were they fond memories? I know his granddaughter and scores of other children. mother. She says nothing happened as a she loved him. She kind of fell apart when you have a right to be angry with the adults in your child. But as an adult, he started telling her he died. Was he a fucking manipulator who family who failed to protect you from a known he loved her in a romantic way. He told her had a gift for making his victims feel loved he wanted to take nude Polaroids of her, and and special as he exploited them for his own predator. That some of them were also his victims she let him. selfish needs?

WHIRLWIND OF EMOTIONS And she loved him — she and her sisters all pretty much idolized him. My one aunt Your mother lied to protect her abuser, a man knew (she said nothing happened to her), who abused her and abused you and probably and I asked her how she reconciled that. many others. She may have held on to those She said she compartmentalized it — she photos because she loved her father, and she was thought he was a wonderful father and so damaged by what he did to her — she had didn’t really think about the other stuff. been so expertly groomed by her abuser — that I did lots of therapy in the late 1980s and early ’90s. I read books, I journaled, I talked she felt loved and special. So as horrifying as it is to contemplate, WOE, your mother may have held to my mom and tried to understand what she experienced. And I moved on as much as on to those photos because they do represent what are, for her, “fond memories.” And while it would be anyone could. a comfort to think she held on to those photos as So now it’s 2019 and I’m almost 50. My proof for family members who doubted her story if mom just moved into a nursing home, and she ever decided to tell the truth, her past defenses while cleaning out her drawers, I found the Polaroids my grandfather took of her. I know of her father work against that explanation.

Manipulators with a gift for making their it was him because he is in some of them, victims feel loved and special plant ticking time taken into a mirror as she goes down on bombs in their victims. Even if a victim doesn’t him. They were taken over a period of years. initially experience their abuse as a violation and as She had led me to believe he never really

BY DAN SAVAGE

provides context, but it does not exonerate them.

I’m glad your grandfather died when you were young. It’s tempting to wish he’d never been born, WOE, but then you would never have been born, and I’m glad you’re here. I’m particularly glad you’re there, right now, embedded in your damaged and damaging family. By telling the truth, you’re shattering the silence that allowed an abuser to groom and prey on children across multiple generations of your family. Your grandfather can’t victimize anyone else, WOE, but by speaking up — by refusing to look the other way — you’ve made it harder for other predators to get away with what your grandfather did.

On the Lovecast: Yikes! It’s the trigger show. Listen at savagelovecast.com; mail@savagelove.net; follow Dan on Twitter @fakedansavage; ITMFA.org

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6721 E.Independence Blvd #A Charlotte NC 28212 #980-236-8452

Monday - Sunday 10am - 11pm www.BodyRubsCharlotte.org

e BEST American Spa in Charlooe!

Pg. 31 Mar. 13 - Mar. 26, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM

Saturday

20 19

presents

Vodka

masters

april 27,

2019

T he

thevodkamasters.eventbrite.com

Sample drinks from local bars and restaurants as they compete for the title of Queen City Nerve’s 2019 “Vodka Master.”

Each participant will craft a vodka-based cocktail to be enjoyed in both quantity and qu quality while earning the love of everyone’s taste buds!

How do we pick the “Vodka Master?”

Well, we don’t.

You do!

Pg. 32 Mar. 13 - Mar. 26, 2019 - QCNERVE.COM

At the Vodka Masters, you are the judge, jury and drink executioner!

Enjoy local musicians and Enj shop from some of your favorite local vendors!

Save the date, and clean those palates!

Tickets $20 Samples included with ticket purchase

$30 (after 4.15)

VIP 12-1 / GA 1-6

tinyurl.com/thevodkamasters