Queen City Nerve - April 7, 2021

VOLUME 3, ISSUE 10; APRIL 7 - APRIL 20, 2021; WWW.QCNERVE.COM

PUBLISHER

JUSTIN LAFRANCOIS jl afra n co i s @ q cn er ve.com

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF RYAN PITKIN rpi tk i n @ q cn e r ve. c om

ART DIRECTOR

JAYME JOHNSON jjo h n s o n @ q cn e r ve.com

STAFF WRITER

PAT MORAN pm o ra n @ q cn er ve . com

DIGITAL EDITOR LEA BEKELE l be ke l e @ q cn er ve . com

AD SALES EXECUTIVE RENN WILSON r wi l s o n @ q cn e r ve . com

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

NEWS& OPINION 8 10 ARTS 14 MUSIC FOOD& 16 DRINK LIFESTYLE

4 EDITOR’S NOTE BY RYAN PITKIN 6 A HOW-TO GUIDE TO HOMEGROWN BY ANONYMOUS

An expert shares his hydroponic secrets so you can DIY until we legalize MURDERED OR MISSING? BY LIZ LOGAN A grieving family calls for reform, claiming their pleas were ignored by CMPD

A REAL URBAN RENEWAL BY LEA BEKELE Johnson C. Smith project rebuilds Black communities lost to development, displacement FINDING YOUR MUSE BY PAT MORAN The little music club that could turns 20 years old

AT YOUR SERVICE? BY BEN JARRELL Local restaurateurs struggle to find staff as eateries reopen

18 LIFEWAVE 19 PUZZLES 20 THE SEEKER BY KATIE GRANT 22 HOROSCOPE 23 SAVAGE LOVE

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THANKS TO OUR CONTRIBUTORS: PAT MORAN, LIZ LOGAN, LEA BEKELE, BEN JARRELL, GRANT BALDWIN, PETER TAYLOR, ALVIN C JACOBS JR., MICHAEL HRIZUK,

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EDITOR’S NOTE

KEEPING MARY’S VOICE ALIVE

Police inaction led a grieving family to advocacy

BY RYAN PITKIN

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At around sunset on April 4, 2021, a group of about 60 people gathered at Davis Flohr Neighborhood Park in NoDa for a candlelight vigil memorializing Mary Collins, a 20-year-old woman whose body was recovered from an apartment complex on Rollerton Road just blocks away from the park one year prior.

At the vigil, friends and family members told how they had met Mary and shared other memories. The overall vibe was more like a funeral than a protest, but under the surface, there’s an anger bubbling around Mary’s murder.

It’s not just about justice, or at least not in the way that many people think about that word.

Collins’ alleged killers were arrested rather quickly.

As Liz Logan reports in this week’s News feature

on page 8, what stings about Mary’s death is how long it took police to act on her case. Mary went missing after going to hang out at the apartment on March 28, 2020. Two days later, after her family couldn’t reach her, Mary’s grandmother went there to look for her.

Police refused to look for Mary in any meaningful way for nearly a week despite pleas from her family informing them that Mary suffered from a socially crippling disability and ensuring them she would not simply take off and ignore their calls.

For five days, Mary’s family sat watch over the apartment, rotating so that someone was watching the entrances and exits of the building at all times.

Unfortunately, after five days, their worst fears were imagined after police finally decided to agree to do a search of the apartment, but only after they had originally told Mary’s family members to stop harassing the people who lived there — who were later charged with murder.

For Collins’ family, justice looks like reform, which is why they’ve formed Mary’s Voice. The organization is dedicated to following the court process for all four people charged in her murder, but also fighting for folks like her who are learning disabled and/or differently abled.

As Collins’ grandmother Mia Alderman told Logan, it made no sense to her that the police were

telling her to file a missing persons report.

“She wasn’t missing,” Alderman said. “I knew where she was and who had her.”

The police, however, seemed to be convinced that Mary had gone off somewhere on her own accord.

They refused to prioritize the case, telling the family they believed the people who lived in the apartment when they said she had simply left.

They believed them despite Mary’s family trying to educate them on her condition, known as 22q11 Deletion Syndrome, which has numerous effects on a person’s development.

“Mary could take care of herself to an extent but there was no way in hell she could navigate anything or go out into the world and know where she was going,” explained Mary’s aunt, Alex Gallo.

Police were also aware that Mary had been bullied in the past by the very people living in the apartment, but still refused to act.

Mary’s story reminds me of another time a woman was ignored by the CMPD while trying to receive help. In 2019, WFAE’s Sarah Delia released She Says, a podcast series that follows a woman through the justice system as she attempts to find justice for a sexual assault she suffered through at the hands of a stranger.

One episode takes listeners into the interview

room with the survivor and the investigating officers, who won’t answer her when she asks them if they think she’s lying. Her cries are devastating; I can still hear them reverberating today, two years after listening to the series.

The reluctance to believe an assault survivor is actually more disgusting than their reluctance to act on a missing persons report. After all, according to CMPD, only 10% of the thousands of reports that come in each year end up involving foul play.

But that doesn’t excuse the inaction. Mary’s family was sure of what they knew: that Mary was in dire danger. And yet they were ignored.

What is one to do when the folks who are meant to serve and protect you refuse to do either?

For one, take matters into their own hands.

The actions of Mary’s family and friends that week — even as they were accused of harassment by police — ensured that those inside the apartment couldn’t leave with her body. If they hadn’t stuck to their plan, the case could still be open today.

Beyond that, it’s important to fight for change through advocacy and reform.

As tragic as her story is, it’s inspiring to know that her family will be sure to continue to uplift Mary’s Voice.

RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM

THE OUTBREAK OF CORONAVIRUS DISEASE 2019 (COVID-19) MAY BE STRESSFUL FOR PEOPLE. FEAR AND ANXIETY ABOUT A DISEASE CAN BE OVERWHELMING AND CAUSE STRONG EMOTIONS IN ADULTS AND CHILDREN. COPING WITH STRESS WILL MAKE YOU, THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT, AND YOUR COMMUNITY STRONGER. EVERYONE REACTS DIFFERENTLY TO STRESSFUL SITUATIONS. HOW YOU RESPOND TO THE OUTBREAK CAN DEPEND ON YOUR BACKGROUND, THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU DIFFERENT FROM OTHER PEOPLE, AND THE COMMUNITY YOU LIVE IN.

-Fear and worry about your own health and the health of your loved ones -Changes in sleep or eating patterns -Difficulty sleeping or concentrating -Worsening of chronic health problems -Increased use of alcohol, tobacco, or other drugs

­

-Take breaks from watching, reading, or listening to news stories, including social media.

Hearing about the pandemic repeatedly can be upsetting.

-Take care of your body. Take deep breaths, stretch, or meditate. Try to eat healthy, well-balanced meals, exercise regularly, get plenty of sleep, and avoid alcohol and drugs.

-Make time to unwind. Try to do some other activities you enjoy.

-Connect with others. Talk with people you trust about your concerns and how you are feeling.

ONLINE THERAPY OPTIONS

OPEN PATH COLLECTIVE

A nonprofit that connects people with private practice therapists that choose to participate.

Digital therapy is available for a $59 membership tinyurl.com/opcollective

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PSYCHOLOGY TODAY

An interactive website where users can enter their zip code to find a counseling professional near them online with phone and video options available. tinyurl.com/psychtodayonline

MORE RESOURCES

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NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

A HOW-TO GUIDE TO HOMEGROWN DIY until its legalized

Step 1: Germinating your seed So you got lucky and found a seed in that last bag you got from your boy. What to do now? You want to make sure that seed is viable before you plant, so you want to germinate your seed. Start by taking a clear Ziploc bag with a damp (not dripping wet) paper towel and put your seed between your paper towel, close the bag and put it somewhere slightly warm — think of the top of your cable box

used container is just a plastic Dixie cup with drainage holes poked in the bottom. Plant your seed in the soil about 1 inch deep with your exposed tail pointing down, then slightly mist the top of the container with clean water and put it somewhere it can get some direct or indirect light, be it sunlight or from a grow light (using a compact flourescent [CFL] light works well here).

After about two to three days you’ll see your

inexpensive LED lights to be a great choice for the new grower. LEDs can be used for all stages of plant growth. They give off a great quality of light with a low initial investment and often less heat than traditional indoor plant lighting, i.e high pressure sodium (HPS), metal halide (MH), or good ole’ fluorescents (FL or CFL).

Pro Tip: Stay away from “Blurple” colored lights.

They’re often cheaper but the purplish hue makes

BY ANONYMOUS

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On March 31, Democrat Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam announced proposed changes to legislation passed in that state earlier in the year that would speed up the legalization of marijuana in the state by three years.

The law that passed through the state legislature in February would have allowed adults in Virginia to legally possess and grow small amounts of marijuana, but not until 2024. That time span left much to be desired by advocates for legalization, until Northam proposed a change that would accelerate the process and allow the law to take effect as early as July of this year.

With this news, North Carolina’s refusal to even begin to take steps toward legalization became all the more archaic. While state legislators like Rep. Kelly Alexander continue to carry the torch for legalization, there simply isn’t enough support in the North Carolina General Assembly to report on.

So what we did instead was reach out to a local resident who we know to have 20+ years experience in growing marijuana at home, for those who are sick of waiting around and continuing to risk it in the black market.

Take note: Implementing the following tips in North Carolina is highly illegal. We do not encourage you to risk jail time by doing so. For those of our readers who live in Virginia or other more enlightened states, here’s a detailed guide at how to cultivate your green thumb. For those stuck behind here in North Carolina, grow at your own risk.

Materials Needed: Seeds Soil Growing container with drainage holes Grow light Small table fan Nutrients (fertilizer) Grow tent or small light-proof area Scissors Mister type spray bottle

WEEK 3 OF THE FLOWERING PROCESS.

or refrigerator kind of warm.

After one to three days you’ll see a tiny white tail poking out if the seed is viable to grow. If you don’t see a tail within five days you need to find another seed.

Pro Tip: Germinate more than one seed at a time.

You can’t tell if your plant is male or female until you begin flowering. Having more than one plant ensures your chances of getting a female plant. Male plants only produce pollen for reproduction and don’t produce flowers, which are what you want. Female plants have tiny hairs that appear at the base of the stems, or “nodes” as their called.

PHOTO BY AUTHOR

first set of baby leaves emerging from your soil.

SUCCESS!! Be proud! One of the most difficult steps is done!

Pro Tip: When watering baby plants, use a mister spray bottle to apply your water the first few weeks of its life instead of pouring water directly on top.

Because it has a juvenile root system it isn’t anchored into the soil yet, and sometimes the seedling will “float” after the first few waterings.

Step 3: Bring it to the light Choosing the right kind of light is important and there’s almost an endless amount of options when it Step 2: Plant your seed comes to lighting. It is often the most overthought Use a standard potting soil mix and preferred and debated subject for an indoor grower. With container with drainage holes. The easiest, most so many options for indoor lighting, I find using

it hard to see the real colors of your plant and can be hard on the eyes. Working under natural looking lights helps you see the real color of the leaves.

Step 4: Vegetative growth Before your new baby is ready to flower you need to grow it a little more and let it become sexually mature so that it’s big enough to give those beautiful flowers that you’re looking for. This step is highly personalized; it all depends on how much space and how many watts of lighting you’re using.

But a good rule of thumb is to have 75 watts of lighting for every square foot of gardening area.

Let your baby grow (or veg) for at least three weeks, but you can let it grow as long as you’d like, leaving your grow light on for at least 18 hours a day but up to 24 hours a day if you prefer. Most standard

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

Because of its slow release action the plant is fed every time you water it, ensuring that it has all the nutrients it needs for the rest of its life cycle and taking away that unsurety: “Did i give it too much or too little?”

Pro Tip: Be gentle when transplanting into larger containers. The roots are often delicate and can be damaged easily. If using a Dixie cup, squeeze the side of the cup until the plant becomes loose and gently flip the plant into your other hand while making sure to support its root mass.

potting soil mixes have enough initial nutrients where you don’t need to fertilize or amend your soil; there’s enough of what your baby needs already mixed in.

Pro Tip: Don’t skimp out and use cheap soil.

Pitching out a few more bucks for quality soil will make your life easier in the long run and help ensure there’s enough nutrients available to the plant for it to grow strong and healthy. You want plants that have a medium dark green to the leaves and no brown spots. Step 6: Forcing it to flower Since marijuana is a photosensitive plant you Step 5: Transplant into a flowering container need to “force it to flower,” which is its natural cue This is where you’re going to put your baby into to begin reproducing by giving it equal times of her final home, where it will live for the rest of its light and uninterrupted dark periods. This is where short life. This is a highly personalized step as well you often hear of the 12/12 cycle: 12 hours of light but you want to use a container that holds roughly and 12 hours of darkness. The final resting spot for the rest of your plant’s life needs to be an area where it can get uninterrupted dark time.

The classic area is normally a small closet or grow tent if you can afford the investment. You just need a simple 24-hour appliance timer and set it for 12 hours on and 12 hours off.

Pro Tip: Make sure your flowering area is somewhere that can get uninterrupted light cycles. Interrupting the night cycle can cause your plants to “herm,” meaning they will create pollen sacs on your female plants that will then pollinate your female plant and produce seeds. It’s not the worst thing that can happen but when a plant produces seeds, the quality of your flowers will be diminished.

AN UNTRIMMED CANNABIS COLA. Pg. 7 APR 7 - APR 20, 2021 - QCNERVE.COM

PHOTO BY AUTHOR

one gallon of soil per foot of expected plant growth.

Before you transplant you want to add a quarter cup of granular bloom fertilizer mixed into your soil before planting. Bloom fertilizers have a lower mix of nitrogen and higher levels of phosphorus and potassium often listed as NPK (5-10-10).

Using a slow-release granular fertilizer makes for easy growing for the rest of the plant’s life.

Step 7: Let it grow For the next eight to nine weeks, just allow nature to do its thing. You only need to water your baby with normal tap water whenever the top 3 or 4 inches of soil are dry and make sure you’re moving your grow light up as it grows. You want to keep your light 12 to 24 inches from the tallest point of your plant to ensure that the tops aren’t getting too warm, an issue known as “light burn.” Flowers begin to form at week three of this stage and most finish with eight or nine weeks of growing in the 12/12 light cycle.

You know your plant is ready when the larger leaves have started to turn yellow and when 75% of the pistols have turned red or brown on the flowers (also known as buds).

Pro Tip: Make sure your grow space has air movement. When growing in an indoor space you need air circulation. Adding a small oscillating fan helps bring fresh air into your garden. Plants use CO2 during photosynthesis, so you want to give them as much air circulation as you can.

Step 8: Harvest Time!

After all these weeks of waiting and watering, the day is finally here. It’s harvest time! After the eighth or ninth week your baby is ready to be chopped.

Simply cut your plant and hang it upside down in a cool dark area. You can use the same place you grew it in — just turn the light off. After letting the plant dry for about seven to 10 days you’ll want to manicure it. You do this by trimming off all the remaining leaves and trimming around your bud sites removing any leaves that are not connected to bud sites and any smaller leaves that don’t look “frosty.” At this stage you’re done!

For the smoothest and most quality smoke, you

want to cure your flowers simply by putting them in an airtight container and “burping” them once or twice a day. The reason this is done is to allow the chlorophyll to break down inside the leaves and flowers, revealing its flavor and preventing you from having buds that taste grassy or fresh. This step is also very personalized, but most people cure it for at least 10 days, or as long as three months — it just depends on what flavor profile you’re looking for.

Pro Tip: When harvesting, and in the few weeks leading up to harvest, your plant will smell fantastic — fantastic to the point that if you have visitors over they will definitely smell it. It’s advised to use some kind of smell control. They make multiple products to help alleviate this but the most common is known as a carbon filter, which are mesh tubes that are filled with activated charcoal that use a fan to pull air through the filter, absorbing particulates and leaving the air smelling clean and removing the odor. It’s worth the small investment to make sure the only people that know you are growing are people that you want to know, which honestly should be no one.

Stay safe and happy growing!

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

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NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

MISSING OR MURDERED?

A grieving family calls for reform after claiming their pleas were ignored by CMPD

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BY LIZ LOGAN

According to CMPD, more than 3,500 people are reported missing in Charlotte annually. On the department’s website, the protocol for missing persons reports is laid out relatively clearly, with stats that emphasize how often a report may be an overreaction: 70% are teenagers, mostly runaways, while the other 30% are adults, and less than 10% end up being the result of foul play.

According to the website, “Being a missing person is not a crime. Adults can go missing if they choose to.”

The family of Mary Collins, who at 20 years old was murdered in the heart of the NoDa neighborhood but not found until nearly a week later, believes it is this mindset, woven together with implicit bias, that kept detectives from taking their pleas for help seriously.

At 2:30 p.m. on March 28, 2020, Collins got into an Uber headed for the Yards at NoDa apartment complex.

Two days later, after Collins did not respond to calls or texts, her grandmother, Mia Alderman, went to pick her up.

According to Alderman, upon arrival she was met by Kelly Lavery and Lavi Pham, whom Collins had originally set out to visit, and who told Alderman that Collins had already left.

Alderman was certain this could not be true — Collins had a cognitive disability that made it highly

unlikely she would have left on her own, and it appeared her phone, which she needed to navigate her way around town, had been inactive since her arrival at the apartment.

When Alderman called the police with this information, she was told to go home and file a missing person’s report.

There was one problem with that order: Collins was never actually missing.

Being directed to the Missing Persons Unit didn’t make sense. Alderman and her family knew Collins was still in the apartment and worked diligently to explain to the detective assigned to the case that she was in dire danger.

and reform for local missing persons’ procedure, recalls. “It was like I always just knew what she which they are seeking through their newly formed meant.” grassroots organization, Mary’s Voice.

“It was like when you have a young child and you as the family are the ones who can understand,” adds Collins’ aunt, Alex Gallo.

Remembering Mary Collins In addition to her shyness, she was quick to A 20-year-old woman with a keen fashion forgive and a bit naive (also a result of her disability), sense and a love for makeup, Collins was eager for friendship and connection. She had poor eyesight something her family worried about but worked to and wore glasses but would often forgo them when give her space to work through as a young adult.

Though 20 years old, Collins had the maturity of dressed up.

Her disability, 22q11 Deletion Syndrome (22q), a 15-year-old and sometimes younger, according to previously known as Velocardiofacialsyndrome Gallo. Her family did their best to ensure Collins was (VCFS) or DiGeorge Syndrome, can have multiple always in the company of others she trusted.

For most women in their early twenties, a few effects on a fetus during development, leading nights away with no family contact is commonplace.

For Collins, though, this was far outside the norm.

Alderman admittedly was an overprotective grandmother, but strove to protect Collins in light of her vulnerabilities.

Alderman had access to Collins’ bank account and had been working with her on managing money. They had a running joke about keeping a watchful eye on spending.

“I’d tell her, ‘Alright, Mary, don’t pinch the buffalo,’” Alderman says.

She’d sometimes text her a hand emoji alongside the buffalo in the same vein.

The family also shared a cellphone plan, allowing them to track a person’s location and activity.

Alderman found it odd FRIENDS AND FAMILY PLACED SIGNS ALONG A FENCE AT A VIGIL FOR MARY COLLINS ON APRIL 4 that Collins’ phone showed PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN nothing during those few On April 4, after five days of what the family to myriad complications during a person’s life. days away from home, though she told herself that describes as a negligent unwillingness to actively The condition caused Collins to be born with an Collins’ phone had died — she’d left the charger search for Collins, police found her body in the internal cleft palate, resulting in a significant speech behind. The family now believes it was one of the Rollerton Road apartment that family members impediment that ate away at her confidence, killers who had broken Collins’ phone upon her insisted all along she had never left. leading to timidity when speaking with anyone arrival, keeping her from having contact with her Lavery, 24; Pham, 21; and James Salerno, 20, outside her family. family. were charged with kidnapping and murder. In A Twitter post by Pham, Lavery’s boyfriend, Around her loved ones, however, she often May, 18-year-old America Diehl turned herself in to discussed her interests and deep ideas with a quirky posted late on March 28 showed a happy Collins Colorado authorities as well shortly after warrants sense of humor. walking down a hallway, sans glasses, to pick up a were issued for her arrest. Diehl was charged with Alderman says her connection with Collins was sushi delivery. felony accessory after the fact and concealing a symbiotic.

Collins’ last social media post to her own account death. was prior to her weekend away: “I broke my glasses “Mary would try to say things and get them Now, a year later, the family is calling for justice backwards but we understood each other,” she and can’t get them fixed until Friday” she posted,

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE with a broken heart emoji.

Though Collins had neither responded to family nor posted on her own social media (both of which were out of character), the post showed her happy and well and Alderman allowed herself to hope for the best.

“They’d posted the video to make us think everything was fine with Mary,” Alderman says. “It worked.”

During this time, hearing of increasing COVID-19 restrictions, Alderman knew it was in Collins’ best interest to quarantine once she got home. She became preoccupied with cleaning and grocery shopping, making sure she and Collins were set for a few weeks at home. But after a few days, the lack of contact began to concern Alderman.

On March 30, she followed the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach to Collins’ last known location.

Following their instincts

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The Yards at NoDa Apartments is not unlike other complexes lining the light rail corridor. Social media shows photos of 20-somethings lounging by the pool, balconies overlooking a growing skyline. Security cameras keep a watchful eye on the parking lot, which is protected by a locked gate. Promotional material boasts a sense of community with serenity and relaxation.

It was this same security that kept worried family members out while Collins’ alleged killers sat protected inside.

Upon arriving at Yards, Alderman looked around for some direction as to where Collins may be.

She found a mailbox with Lavery’s name and apartment number, then went to buzz herself in. When no one answered, Alderman stood outside, waiting until another resident let her in the building.

Once in, she rushed to the third floor and knocked on the door, screaming Mary’s name. Lavery and Pham answered the door and told her Collins had left hours ago. With neither her phone nor glasses, Alderman knew Collins would not be able to get around on her own.

There’s a spectrum of 22q conditions that Collins landed somewhere in the middle of. Finding her way around town was not a strong suit of hers.

“Mary could take care of herself to an extent but there was no way in hell she could navigate anything or go out into the world and know where she was going,” explains Gallo.

In light of her disabilities, Collins had been practicing getting around on her own with the help of her family. In her south Charlotte neighborhood, she’d use her phone’s GPS to navigate her way on

AROUND 60 PEOPLE ATTENDED THE APRIL 4 VIGIL. PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN

SUPPORTERS ATTEND MARY COLLINS’ VIGIL AT DAVIS FLOHR NEIGHBORHOOD PARK. PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN

walks. She would Uber to friends’ houses but was by and large dependent on whomever she was with to get her back home. Even with her glasses and her phone, she wouldn’t have made it far leaving the apartment on her own.

When the car, sent by Lavery, originally arrived that Saturday, Alderman says she asked the driver not to take her. She says the driver replied “She’s grown.

I’m taking her,” and the car drove off. She didn’t want Collins to go with Lavery in the first place, though it wasn’t about the lone trip across town.

According to the family, there had been a history of cruelty and bullying. Lavery had reportedly called Collins disgusting, going as far as to tell her she should kill herself.

After these events, Lavery would ensure Collins they’d made up, that all was well. There was an element of emotional manipulation to their relationship and Collins, eager for friends, would tolerate it to keep from being alone, despite her family’s best wishes.

Though they’d watched this past cruelty unfold, they never suspected Lavery and Pham may pose a physical threat to Collins.

It was this insight into the inner workings of their complex relationship and, moreover, the knowledge that Collins was not capable of leaving on her own, that led Alderman to call the police.

Being told to file a missing persons report made no logical sense to Alderman.

“She wasn’t missing,” Alderman says. “I knew

where she was and who had her.”

Not knowing what else to do, Alderman followed CMPD protocol and went home to file the report, believing the police would then go inside to get Collins.

“The officer who responded to my call goes to the apartment and knocks on the door,” Alderman says. “There was no response and so she left.”

CMPD refused to discuss the specifics of the Collins case, as it is an ongoing investigation that has not yet gone to trial. The department was not able to provide a member of the department to discuss the broader aspects of missing persons protocol by the time of this paper’s publication.

Aware of the lack of real action on CMPD’s part, Alderman kept a rotation going at the apartment complex, with at least one family member or friend always watching what was coming in and out of the apartment. They hoped for signs of Collins — still alive.

At one point Pham let Alderman and Mary’s mother, Kasei Delpezzo, into the apartment to look for Collins. Alderman says she was not allowed in the back bedroom, but Delpezzo was quickly guided through by an agitated Pham.

The detective told the family to stop harassing Lavery and Pham, that the couple was feeling threatened. The family refused to ease up. They knew something was horribly wrong.

Stay tuned for the second part of this two-part story on QCNerve.com.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

ARTS FEATURE

historic archivist and digital manager Brandon and displacement by city leaders remains wellLunsford, who will serve as co-pilot for this project documented today.

“They would say things like, ‘There are 3-4,000 alongside university historian, electronic records librarian and fellow archivist Dr. Tekla Ali Johnson, Black families … it would be moving only three who will serve as the pilot. The team is also receiving white families and we’re going to take care of them.’”

These historically Black communities were help from historians at UNC Charlotte.

Lunsford is spearheading the digitization of condemned as “blighted” and disease-ridden by Johnson C. Smith project several large maps from the Charlotte Planning the city. In actuality, developers tore down these rebuilds Black communities Commission that were used to document and justify neighborhoods because they had become prime lost to development, real estate for the growing white population, and the policies at the time.

“It really felt like we’re peeking into history and the truth lives in these historical documents. displacement As an archivist of 10 years, Lunsford is no to the mindset of that time,” Johnson shares. stranger to pouring over government documents, The team will also work with Duke University’s

BY LEA BEKELE Digital Humanities Lab to digitize parts of African- deeds and personal letters that tell the story of Once a lively neighborhood whose streets were American communities that were destroyed in people and structures that are no longer here.

Having just finished up a master’s degree in filled with bustling businesses and rich culture, the 1960s and 1970s in an augmented reality Library Science, Lunsford’s interests drew him environment, while tracing the path of displaced Charlotte’s Historic West End neighborhood is families and institutions across the city, highlighting toward digital mapping, a way of locating historic merely a skeleton of its former glory.

The civil rights movement, the bombings of Black activists’ homes on the Beatties Ford Road corridor, and the construction of highways I-277 and I-77 all played a part in the inevitable displacement of that thriving Black community.

The change didn’t come all at once, but through a series of gradual and strategic legislative changes — many of which under the guise of the harmful so-called “urban renewal” process — until almost everyone who had once called it home could no longer afford it. The displacement of the people living in the Historic West End community followed the end of segregation and came just before the passing of the 1968 Fair Housing Act. Now thanks to three grants worth more than $300,000 from Knight Foundation, the National Parks Service, and the National A GATHERING AT A HOME IN SECOND WARD. Historical Publications and Records JAMES G. PEELER COLLECTION/JOHNSON C. SMITH UNIVERSITY Commission, the team at Johnson C. Smith University, Charlotte’s only historically Black college, parallels with current threats of gentrification in buildings, marking where they would be now and will soon begin working on a three-part urban the Historic West End neighborhoods around the sharing their history.

He took a course on digital mapping during renewal project to create virtual reconstructions of university. his master’s program, thus began his first foray Charlotte’s most prominent Black neighborhoods, into virtual storytelling, a digital recreation of the including the Brooklyn, Greenville, Third Ward, First An homage to Charlotte’s history Ward and Historic West End neighborhoods.

When historic buildings get torn down, all that’s Historic West End neighborhood in the form of a A team of historians and archivists from the left are the memories that happened within those Google Map. In a way, the effort was meant to demystify the university plan to recreate 3-D models of these walls. That is, unless there’s a paper trail. puzzle pieces surrounding Charlotte’s history.

Black communities, including Historic West End, an “I had seen urban renewal in other communities Formerly an African American Studies professor area that surrounds the present-day JCSU campus, across the country and to see that not only do we creating a reconstruction of how the neighborhood have information about it generally, but we actually at JCSU, Dr. Johnson returned to work in the library would have looked in the 1960s. had the meeting minutes and the decisions that where she crossed paths with Lunsford. They shared The renewal project includes an interface were made by the city in real-time,” Johnson says, an interest in digital mapping and how it could comparable to Google Maps, according to JCSU explaining how the normalization of urban renewal be used to track the negative effects that urban

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A REAL URBAN RENEWAL

renewal has had on local communities.

In 2019, after Lunsford finished a previous project, they joined forces to apply for grants to fund their digital mapping ideas.

The pair received word in late 2020 that their grant applications were successful and got to work immediately, knowing there was a long road ahead, especially while working from home in the middle of a pandemic.

Each grant represents one part of the threephase project. The first one, $75,000 from the Knight Foundation, covers the digitization of the maps the duo has collected with help from historians Rita Johnson and Don Smith at UNC Charlotte. The second, $38,000 from the National Parks Service, allows the team to create their virtual reconstructions, while the final, largest allotment — $194,000 from the National Historical Publications and Records Commission — granted them the opportunity to work with Duke University to build an augmented reality site where they plan to share their findings.

“I think this project will be crucial to understanding how the machinery of institutional racism worked in Charlotte, as far as housing discrimination, forced dislocation, and highway construction,” Lunsford shares. “This happened all over the country but this will show how it played out in Charlotte. It will also show how Black communities are still under threat under a different guise, in this case, gentrification as another form of resettlement.”

Once complete, the collaborative renewal project put together by Johnson, Lunsford and the support staff at JCSU will act as a time capsule of the Queen City’s past and help residents and city leaders recognize patterns so these issues don’t continue to repeat over time.

Pushing the needle

When I spoke with Dr. Johnson over the phone, we shared a bittersweet yet cathartic laugh over the current state of housing inequality in Charlotte, discussing the cyclical nature of history in the respect that even decades later, Black people in Charlotte are still dealing with displacement and the city is doing little to stop it.

Every year, it seems like Charlotte becomes home to another corporate headquarters and any number of luxury apartment complexes to accommodate the influx of people moving to a city that doesn’t seem prepared to take on the growth it is experiencing.

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ARTS FEATURE In 2020, Charlotte saw the opening of the new Honeywell headquarters, while it was also announced that the city will gain its first medical school. In March, Robinhood announced a Charlotte corporate office, promising nearly 400 jobs in the process. In our sprawling city that is growing to be too big for its britches, there’s only so much space to build and when that happens, the cost of housing goes up and people get displaced because they can’t keep up.

Charlotteans praise companies for bringing jobs and attention to the area but some fail to consider if these jobs are accessible, or if they inspire the flight of even more people that don’t have the resources to afford luxury accommodations.

When more luxury housing pops up around the city, will there be an equal amount of affordable housing? That hasn’t been how development around the city has played out to this point.

For the properties that do exist, will the price remain the same or will the cost of living increase due to the scarcity of housing and the need to stay competitive? The more Charlotte grows, the less space it has, leaving much room for growth in terms of equal and fair housing.

Eight months ago, this was just a project that was an idea shared between archivists and it has since turned into so much more. When all is said and done, the three-phase project is expected to take the team two years to complete.

“To make the impact of urban renewal clear, it can be said that it is similar to the processes by which Native Americans were ‘removed’ by those who coveted their lands,” said Dr. Johnson. “African Americans have been removed from the locations where they settled as freepersons after the American Civil War. This pattern of removal is also analogous to the Bantustans or reserves which Africans in South Africa were restricted to under apartheid.

“This pattern of gentrification has occurred all across the United States, jeopardizing the financial stability of African-American communities and impacting our economic well-being and even health in many cases. This project does not recover the land, but it does seek to reconstruct a virtual sense of place, history, narrative, to illustrate the warmth and strengths of these African-American communities and to reinforce African-American culture.”

LBEKELE@QCNERVE.COM

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MUSIC FEATURE

with a virtual livestream event on April 10 at 8 p.m. shop that was open primarily on neighborhood “NoDa was the wild west back then,” Kuhlmann The program boasts recorded performances and gallery crawls, which occurred on the first Friday says. He remembers when the police wouldn’t come well wishes from artists around the world, many of the month. With partners Wes Robinson and his through the neighborhood, and other times when of whom are Muse alumni, including Jonathan soon-to-be wife Lea Pritchard, Kuhlmann, who had the sense of danger was so keen that the hairs stood Spottiswoode, Ashlee Joy Hardee, Susto, Jim Avett, been a touring performer and recording engineer, up on the back of his neck.

George Banda, Sam Tayloe and many more. Live became a club owner. The Evening Muse opened for “It was on the fringe,” he says. “An island in the components encompass a raffle of a painting of gallery crawl on the first Friday of February 2001. city.”

The little music club that Keith Richards that used to hang on the club’s wall, The first band to play there was Tesser, fronted by At the same time, NoDa was full of artists and could turns 20 years old donated by artist Lori Love, and a toast to The Muse Kuhlmann’s friend and business partner Robinson. musicians on every corner, Laurie offers. Rents were which will conclude the livestream.

Kuhlmann, who also serves as the club’s sound so low that artists could comfortably live and work

BY PAT MORAN On May 19, there will be another reason to engineer, was off and flying — by the seat of his in the neighborhood. NoDa was the definition of celebrate the club as it presents its first live concert pants. bohemian.

Joe Kuhlmann has noticed a curious thing about since the COVID-19 pandemic shut down music “It was really quick, and down and dirty,” he “It was a very fertile area,” Kuhlmann offers. “You The Evening Muse, the cozy yet legendary music venues in March 2020. Two sets featuring singer says, noting that from signing the lease to opening, could plant a seed, artistically or entrepreneurially, club that celebrates 20 years at the corner of East and acoustic guitarist Jason Eady and opener Adam less than two months passed. Among the club’s and make something grow.”

36th and North Davidson streets in the heart of Artistic growth began almost NoDa in April, just as it tentatively immediately at The Muse. A patron opens to live performances in May. of the club since it opened, local “When people show up here, musician John Dungan launched the comment that I hear more often The Muse’s first open mic, John than not is, ‘Man, this reminds me Dungan & Friends, in the summer of home,’” says Kuhlmann, who coof 2001. Dungan, like many Muse owns the club with Don and Laurie staff members to come, would also Koster. work the door, help out at the bar Many share that warm sense or do whatever else was needed. of belonging at The Muse, as it’s “I set up a show called The affectionately known. Journalist, Eclectic Blend Showcase,” Dungan photographer and Queen City says. “The bill was going to be Nerve contributor Jeff Hahne, a few songwriters in the round: who hosted his Off The Record David Childers, Randolph Lewis, concert series at the club, praises and myself.” its intimate feel.

When Childers pulled out due “There’s a connection between to scheduling conflicts, Dungan the people that makes it feel like found a last minute replacement in family when you set foot through Nicole Atkins. the door,” Hahne says.

“Seth Avett [of the Avett Don Koster recalls that over the Brothers] was in the crowd that course of two decades the club has night too,” Dungan remembers. served as the setting for several “Nicole asked him to get up and marriage proposals and wedding PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN sing something, but he politely THE EVENING MUSE CREW (FROM LEFT TO RIGHT): LAURIE AND DON KOSTER WITH JOE KUHLMANN. ceremonies onstage. declined.”

“It really makes it feel almost Atkins, who has garnered critical like your living room to have these things occur Hood at 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. sold out in less than earliest patrons were the Kosters. acclaim with noirish retro soul records like 2017’s here,” he says. four hours.

“We’ve been coming here since day one,” says Goodnight Rhonda Lee and 2020’s Italian Ice, was Although currently based in Nashville, American “We spent more time talking about how to do Laurie. She was designing websites for John Tosco one of the first, but far from the last, artists who Idol contestant Natalie Royal also finds a safe haven [the shows] and whether they would work out, than and his Tosco Music Parties, when she came to the started at The Muse before hitting the big time. at The Muse. actually selling tickets,” Don Koster says.

Muse with her husband Don to catch a performance Another artist nurtured by the venue before “Every time I’m in Charlotte, I take a trip down With this encouraging showing, Don, his wife by one of the Tosco musicians. subsequently finding fame is Natalie Royal. Royal to NoDa,” Royal says. “Through the years, numerous Laurie and Kuhlmann are eager to book further gigs.

“We fell in love with it all, the music, the scene had taught herself to play guitar and write songs restaurants and bars have come and gone, but The and the people,” Laurie says. “It was the only place I while still in middle school. On Wednesday evenings Evening Muse has remained a staple on that corner wanted to go.” she would get her mom to drive her to The Muse to — the purple awning like a beacon, guiding me From living art to live music The neighborhood was part of the attraction, play the Tosco open mic night.

Don, Laurie and Joe were at the Muse before home.” and it was a very different place from what it is “I would constantly marvel at the talent pouring Music fans can get their own sense of home there even was a Muse. In early 2001, the corner today. from those who lived in our city,” Royal says. “The when The Muse celebrates it’s 20th anniversary lot in NoDa was occupied by Living Art, a coffee

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FINDING YOUR MUSE

MUSIC FEATURE ages ranged from 10 to 80 years old some nights, and yet we were all there for one purpose — to share and celebrate our love of music.”

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‘A burgeoning newness’

During this period, the Kosters would help out at the club wherever they could.

“Joe and Lea used to say that me and Laurie paid the light bill, because we were here all the time,” says Don. Their son Chris started working the door in 2006 while he was still in college. Don and Laurie befriended many of the bands that played the club, and soon they started putting up several of The Muse’s touring musicians at their home, forging lasting friendships with their houseguests.

Longtime bartender Kelly McQuillen, considered an integral part of the Muse’s family by Joe, Don and Laurie, often offered members of touring English/ American pop-rock band Jonathan Spottiswoode and His Enemies a place to crash in her NoDa home.

A pivotal moment for The Muse came when Rodney Lanier passed away in 2011. Lanier, a musician who founded the band Sea of Cortez, was also a jack-of-all-trades at the club, even running sound when Kuhlmann was unavailable. When Lanier succumbed to cancer, Kuhlmann saw it as the end if an era and a wakeup call.

“It’s that ongoing lesson of not taking yourself and others for granted,” Kuhlmann says. “He’s continued to teach us since his passing.”

Amid the tragedy of Lanier’s death, Kuhlmann also began to see “a burgeoning newness” coming to the club, an infusion of new energy. It was needed.

Kuhlmann and Pritchard were going through a divorce, a process that drained Kuhlmann and brought matters at The Muse to a head.

“I hadn’t been maintaining the business as well as it could have been done,” Kuhlmann says.

The Muse had never been a textbook success, he offers, but patrons were so supportive of the little club, that Kuhlmann was motivated to keep it going, even if its existence was hand-to-mouth. Kuhlmann acknowledges he didn’t have the expertise to handle all aspects of running a business.

“Joe was overloaded trying to do it all by himself,” Laurie says. “We were glad to help out whatever way we could”.

Laurie starting booking acts for the club in 2014, and was sole agent for The Muse with booking agency MAXX Music through 2016 and 2017. Don started managing the bar after he got off work from

his day job at Simonini Builders.

“Laurie and I saw a lot of Joe’s stress, and the need for some new energy,” Don says.

In January 2017, the Kosters became co-owners of The Muse with Kuhlmann.

“The Muse wouldn’t be here today still if Don and Laurie hadn’t come along,” Kuhlmann says.

“They brought in a lot of knowledge and discipline.”

Those qualities came in handy in the spring of 2020 when Charlotte’s music venues shut down to help stem the spread of COVID-19.

Fortunately, the club has been helped by a federal Paycheck Protection Program loan, Kuhlmann says. The Muse was also awarded financial support from Charlotte Center City Partners’ Innovation Fund, an initiative designed to spur innovation by small businesses pivoting to adapt to a pandemic economy.

With money to invest in the business, Kuhlmann has acquired state-of-the-art video cameras, lighting equipment, and the computers to run them. The club plans to partner with artists on livestreaming performances, gaining an additional revenue stream.

“If people aren’t able to get to the show physically, they’ll still be able to watch it remotely,” Kuhlmann offers. “We’ll have ticketing for that as well.”

It’s part of an attempt by the little club to reach a larger audience without losing its intimacy.

“There are people across the country — across the world really — that have lost live music, and so this will be another way for them to participate, observe and support [us],” Kuhlmann offers.

This way The Muse, already renowned for its impeccable audio quality, will have video quality to match. Then each show will look and feel special, Kuhlmann maintains, “not like a cellphone camera shooting from the back of the house.”

The little club that could

With new lights and cameras almost in place, The Muse is ready to launch a series of live shows.

Judging by sales for the May 19 show, they are already on the road to success, but they are not neglecting safety precautions.

Currently, the club must maintain a social distance of 6 feet between patrons. Even though occupancy limits for music venues has been raised to 50%, The Muse is still required to maintain the 6-foot buffer. In practice that reduces the occupancy limit to roughly 30% of the club’s seating capacity, which is only 120.

Joe, Don and Laurie are paying attention to

state safety mandates, hoping that restrictions loosen as rising vaccination rates bring COVID-19 numbers down. For the May 19 show, the plan is to have cabaret seating with tables on the main floor.

Groups of four or five masked people who know each other — family or close friends — will be seated at each table.

“Eventually we’ll hopefully have reserved seating, once we can get [rows of] chairs back on the floor,” Laurie says.

For now, at least, the club’s staff will remain small.

“It will probably be Don, Chris and I most nights,” Kuhlmann says. “The numbers in the room have to be low and the money to spend on staff is going to be limited.”

This clear-eyed frugality is nothing new to the club.

“From a business standpoint, this place has no business being here,” Don says, noting that the property The Muse sits on is worth much more than what a corner music venue brings in, no matter how revered. The three business partners consider themselves fortunate to have neighborhood pioneers Ruth Ava Lyons and Paul Sires as landlords.

They say that Lyons and Sires — gallery owners, art patrons and unofficial godparents of NoDa — are committed to keeping the small but mighty Muse at its present location, anchoring the growing, shapeshifting arts district and neighborhood.

Much more than a holdout of the old predevelopment NoDa, The Muse appears poised to thrive in the 2020s. Part of its resiliency must be due to what a businessman would call an intangible: People just love the place.

Acts as well-known as Sean Lennon and Jim, Seth and Scott Avett have played the room, as well as performers as cultish as Swedish dream pop purveyors Case Conrad.

Kuhlmann sees the club as an incubator for these lesser known acts, many of whom, like Time Sawyer and Lake Street Dive, blow up and become too big to play a small house like The Muse.

After playing the club, many artists are enthralled with their experiences, eager to return.

A key component of their satisfaction is the room’s impeccable sound, courtesy of sound man Kuhlmann.

“Joe just dials it in perfectly,” Laurie says.

Although it’s hard to convince first-time acts that sound check will take minutes instead of hours, once they experience Kuhlmann’s expertise, they become converts to the club’s way of doing business.

“They get onstage and they’re like, ‘That was

sound check? That was it, and it sounds great?’”

Kuhlmann offers. “If you want to get the best performance out of someone, you want as few technical issues as possible. Most artists are onstage for like an hour a day, but the other 23 they’re on the road, navigating the world.”

He’s surprised that other clubs neglect to greet performers when they arrive for their set to make them feel comfortable. The little things like courtesy and friendliness do count, he insists.

Because of its comforting vibe, exquisite sound and eclectic booking policy, which has added hiphop, poetry and comedy to its bills in recent years, The Muse has garnered praise across Charlotte, including Queen City Nerve’s 2019 Critic’s Choice for best music venue.

But the highest praise comes from patrons, players and staff who’ve made the little club that could part of their lives.

“The Muse is one of the great small rooms in America,” says frequently booked jazz guitarist Stephane Wrembel. “We always have great sound and a great crowd. [The staff] are also the nicest people, always warm and welcoming.”

“It sounds cliche, but the people are my favorite Muse memory,” says John Dungan. “So much of my community and relationships are firmly rooted in The Evening Muse.”

“My favorite memories are the characters at the venue,” Jonathan Spottiswoode offers. “Joe, Don and Laurie, Kelly behind the bar and eccentric audience members like Thistle and her kilted male friend sitting in the front row and big Michael Murphy lifting me up with one arm.”

Though it puzzles Kuhlmann that so many disparate people from all over the world say The Muse reminds them of home, the reaction feels perfectly natural to Pat Maholland, who has been a patron, performer and employee at the club.

Maholland, now living in Philadelphia and undergoing treatment for cancer, says his favorite memory of The Muse is his most recent visit to the club in late March.

“As soon as I stepped through those famous wooden doors, I was at home,” Maholland says. “At home in that building; at home with the wonderful crew — my extended family — at home with the music playing over the speakers. At home. And that’s when it truly hit me how lucky I am — heck, how lucky we all are— to have the Evening Muse in our lives.”

PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

AT YOUR SERVICE?

Local restaurateurs struggle to find staff as eateries reopen

candidates. What we found is that job postings, Facebook ads, blast emails, employees sharing the job posting, etc., has come with little fruition either due to applicants just applying to check for an unemployment requirement or people from the food industry that were laid off found themselves working in other industries that had a higher need

biggest challenge to getting back up to full speed.

We have long hired back all of our old staff that are still in the workforce and we have a huge need at every position. In fact, we started the process a few weeks ago because if you just start now, a new recruit might give two weeks notice at their old job and require two weeks of training at their new job,

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BY BEN JARRELL

Late-night talk-show host Conan O’Brien recently joked on social media about “a meal service where instead of sending me ingredients, they make the meal and serve it to me at their place of business. And booze.”

We all miss restaurants.

Most of us are ready to return to any sense of normalcy, eat something outside of our own kitchens — and have a damn cocktail. And a hell of a lot of people who struggled through the last year are ready to return to work. But what work are they ready to return to? Not restaurant work, it would appear.

According to the Charlotte Regional Business Alliance’s latest quarterly economic report, Charlotte-area employment in the leisure and hospitality industry went up 3.5% in the fourth quarter of 2020, better than the .7% decrease nationwide. However, the local industry’s employment rate was still down 23.7% compared to Q4 2019. Across the nation, that average was a stark 3%.

So, what the hell is going on?

As more of the population gets vaccinated and restrictions on restaurants continue to loosen, one would think Charlotte restaurant owners are having no problem bringing their staff back to work or filling necessary vacancies. Yet many owners and managers have publicly expressed the opposite, stating that they’ve had trouble finding folks who are ready and willing to jump back into the service industry.

QC Nerve recently reached out to a handful of chefs, managers, and owners to find out their perspectives as they begin to restaff their restaurants. Here’s what we found.

THE DINING ROOM AT SUPPERLAND

for labor such as the construction industry, which pays higher wages.

Also, with the PPP funds and requirements for employers to spend it on labor, we’ve seen a temporary pay raise for employees that are unsustainable for us to match under our business model.

Our minimum wage is $10 an hour with zero experience, and goes from $12$15 depending on experience. We offer every employee a path to success so they can reach that higher end of the pay scale.

Jeff Tonidandel Co-owner, TonidandelBrown Restaurant Group (Supperland, Haberdish, Crepe Cellar, Growler’s Dalton Espaillat Pourhouse) CEO & owner, Raydal Hospitality (Sabor Latin Staffing has been Street Grill, Three Amigos, La Caseta) quite difficult as of We have been recently on an aggressive late. Staffing is our JAY DAVIS AT LULU’S hiring spree targeting different outlets to attract

PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN

which could put us behind the eight ball if things go full open in the next few weeks.

Every small tweak made by the governor has ripple effects throughout the whole organization — an adjustment of just a few hours might seem small but they put people into overtime, leave shifts understaffed and put a lot of stress on our labor

force. Much of this is because we are trying to run so lean and maximize earnings for the staff we have left.

Chris Coleman Chef & partner, The Goodyear House Charlotte over the last five to six years has had a major problem with supply and demand as it relates to labor, way before the pandemic came around. It’s been hard to find the right people — front of the house and back of the house staff — just because of the popularity of our dining.

We’ve had an amazing culinary scene boom, and I think it’s something we’re all appreciative of and thankful for. But with that scene blowing up, we haven’t seen the influx of professionals to staff those restaurants.

From a Goodyear House perspective, we had to lay off around 50 employees at the beginning of the pandemic and we rehired about 80% of those folks when we reopened, and ran with that skeleton crew for most of the winter. We’ve reopened our hiring process just in the past few weeks and haven’t had a whole lot of people jump at the opportunity to work with us. And I don’t really see it as us not being a desirable place to work. Front-of-the-house [employees] certainly make a really good living here. We pay our backof-house employees all a livable wage — and right around the top of what the average is in Charlotte.

It’s almost like you went from having a few dozen restaurants open to having a few hundred open all at once.

Jay Davis Co-owner, Lulu’s Maryland Style Chicken & Seafood/ Hideaway Bar & Lounge From LuLu’s restaurant to HideAway Bar & Lounge, the common issue that we’ve seen has been lack of interest in employment. There are many who are still collecting unemployment and have no interest in returning to work. Some who are interested in employment also tend to be underqualified for the roles they apply for. There are also a number of candidates who interview very well but then under deliver. All of these various challenges can also produce high turnover, particularly in the restaurant industry.

PHOTO BY ALVIN C JACOBS JR.

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE Lewis Donald Pitmaster & owner, Sweet Lew’s, Dish We all know it’s tough to find staff. I think I’ve looked at what I’m hiring differently. I’m hiring people that need work vs. want to be a chef. I’m hiring the intangibles: work ethic, being early not late, teachable. I’ve gone back to working interviews and rely on the whole team’s evaluation. Honestly, I think one of the best things Dish and Sweet Lew’s did with PPP money was to retain our staff. We’re staffed now to do 2019 revenues.

Jamie Barnes Chef & partner, What the Fries It’s been a very difficult time right now for us to find cooking/prep staff. With us being new to the brick-and-mortar side, we are still trying to get fully staffed. We are helped in the meantime from family and close friends but still need a few more

Bruce Moffett Chef & owner, Moffett Restaurant Group (Barrington’s, Stagioni, Good Food on Montford) It feels as if a lot of people just left the industry altogether during COVID. That coupled with the fact that we added so many restaurant seats in Charlotte over the last two years. What was already a struggle — to keep restaurants staffed — is now becoming a monumental struggle. That’s definitely my biggest stressor is labor right now. There’s been times when you just want to throw your hands up in the air.

Right now actually — for the first time in two years — I feel like we’re in good shape at Barrington’s. We haven’t brought everyone we had pre-pandemic so we’re still down servers — we’re just not busy enough to bring them back. People WILLIAM DISSEN SERVES IT UP AT HAYMAKER. who have been with me at Barrington’s up to 16 years are only getting one shift a week. But most of restaurant is understaffed. It’s creating a bottleneck the kitchen staff is back. as there’s so many candidates in the market. Then you also have the variable that there’s a lot of people still on unemployment who are okay to stay where they are, staying on unemployment until it expires.

And then there’s also folks thinking, “I don’t feel safe going back to working in a restaurant environment, maybe not until I’m vaccinated.”

Nobody’s there in the towers — the 100,000 people who work in the towers — they’re not there.

The 20,000 people that are there for conferences, business travel, etc., they’re not there either. I think the rest of Charlotte is going to trend up before Uptown. You literally go across I-277 into South End and it’s like 2019 is going on.

PHOTO BY MICHAEL HRIZUK

Travis Hearne Chef & owner, The Dunavant We are very fortunate at The Dunavant to be at 85% of our staffing. We have worked so hard to make sure everyone was paid and taken care of since the pandemic started. Sure we need a couple people here or there, but it’s nothing like what the community at large is going through and I have no one to thank but my staff. They have picked up the slack every step of the way to fill in for positions that we don’t have, they work extra hours and take on extra responsibilities and go above and beyond and because of them, we are truly blessed.

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WHAT THE FRIES OWNERS JAMIE BARNES (LEFT) AND GREG WILLIAMS.

solid people with experience. We are extremely busy but haven’t been getting much serious leads.

Many times it’s a person already with multiple jobs to juggle and it looks like for-certain burnout if we were to hire them.

I think the demand now for personal chefs and people’s drive to be their own boss has shifted the chef world. There seems to be less people wanting to get in kitchens and learn and grow. More so like, “Hey I just graduated culinary school and I sold 40 plates of food to friends and family from Instagram.

Why do I need to come work for you?” Not knocking it, but that’s what I see a lot.

PHOTO BY PETER TAYLOR

William Dissen Owner, Haymaker and The Market Place (Asheville) It’s been a wild year. I hate using the word “pivot,” but every restaurant has had to pivot, and then pivot again, and then pivot again. And hopefully this is the great pivot back towards normal. And the conundrum that’s happening right now — lots of times in the spring, people are ramping up again after the winter, expecting busier times — but not every restaurant is necessarily understaffed. Right now, literally every single

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We’re kind of opening, kind of not, so not all of these are virtual events as we were highlighting at the beginning of the lockdown, but plenty are. COVID is still going strong, so party at your own risk.

GHOST-NOTE

HEROES DEBATE NIGHT

Headed by Snarky Puppy’s multi-Grammy winning percussion duo of Robert Searight and Nate Werth, Ghost-Note is a soul-infused explosion of funk, hiphop, Afrobeat and psychedelia, featuring musicians who have played with Prince, Erykah Badu, Herbie Hancock, Kendrick Lamar and more. Jazz-inspired turntablist DJ Logic and The Delvon Lamarr Organ Trio, which serves an intoxicating cocktail of jazz organist Jimmy Smith, the soul strut of Booker T. & The M.G.’s and a sprinkle of Stax Records, fill out the bill.

More: $40-$50; April 7 & April 8, 6 p.m.; Heist Brewery, 1030 Woodward Ave.; tinyurl.com/ GhostNoteHeist

Also known as Sweet Love, Bitter, this 1967 drama, inspired by the life of jazz musician Charlie Parker, marks the first film performance by activist and comedian Dick Gregory. When a legendary jazz saxophonist with a heroin habit meets a downand-out hip white college professor with a drinking problem in a pawn shop, a tentative friendship blossoms between the two men. Shot in gritty documentary-style black and white, the film examines injustice and police violence in a way that is just as relevant today as it was in the turbulent 1960s.

More: Free; April 11; online; ganttcenter.org

‘SENSE & SENSIBILITY’

GREG JARRELL: JAZZ & SPIRITUALITY ‘COVERED TRACKS’ TODAY In Theatre Charlotte’s Covered

Jane Austin’s 19th-century novel of manners gets a lively livestreamed adaptation by Jon Jory, founder of the Humana Festival of New American Plays. In this production, directed by Paula Baldwin, the prospects of the newly impoverished Dashwood family hinges on sisters Elinor and Marianne, the personifications of common sense and emotional sensibility respectively. Elinor’s romance with shy Edward Ferrars is hampered by his engagement to someone else, while Marianne vacillates between the dashing but duplicitous John Willoughby and the respectable Colonel Brandon. Seven performances on CPCC’s Halton Auditorium stage will be filmed without a live audience.

More: $12.94; Starts April 9, 7:30 p.m.; online; cpcc. edu/events/sense-and-sensibility/

ALASDAIR FRASER & NATALIE HAAS

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CLASSIC BLACK CINEMA: ‘IT WON’T RUB OFF, BABY’

With the 2004 album Fire & Grace, Scottish fiddler Alasdair Fraser first collaborated with American cellist Natalie Haas. The pair has since entwined the robust skirl of Fraser’s old world fiddle with the rich lowing tones of Haas’ new world cello on a series of albums including the 2007 collection In the Moment, which is featured in this concert. The weave of styles between the two players is ancient and modern, with Fraser crunching his bow to accentuate each percussive note within rapid-fire clusters, and Hass shape-shifting from arching melody lines to staccato sawing.

More: $10-$50; April 10, 8 p.m.; online; maxxmusic.com

JazzArts Charlotte explores jazz, spirituality, and the society we live in. Music director Greg Jarrell, vocalist Dawn Anthony and Ministers W. Benjamin Boswell and Matthew Caine of Myers Park Baptist Church join Curtis Davenport to explore these interconnections. Noting that the jazz tradition grew up from the church, and developed its voice in the reconstruction era, Jarrell discusses the way in which music can facilitate dialogue and become a catalyst for change. “Justice, spirituality and race have always been part of American life,” says Jarrell.

The interactive event streams on YouTube Live and Facebook Live.

More: Free; April 13, 8 p.m.; online; thejazzarts.org

ROBERT EARL KEEN

MaxxMusic’s Cruise-in Concerts features country music maverick Robert Earl Keen in the first of a series of drive-in shows in Historic Rural Hill. Keen’s career can be succinctly summed up with the lyrics of his signature song “The Road Goes on Forever,” in which he sings, “The road goes on forever/And the party never ends.” Making a splash with his selffinanced debut album No Kinda Dancer in 1984, Keen balances finely observed, sensitive sketches of people on the perimeter of society with raucous hell-raising country rockers with a soupçon of the barstool laureate.

More: $200-350 per car; April 14, 7 p.m.; Historic Rural Hill, 4431 Neck Road, Huntersville; maxxmusic.com

For this Nerdy Night In, hosted by LeJuane Bowens, two teams compete in a superhero debate featuring such world-shaking questions as: Who would be better at giving dating advice, Batman or Black Widow? Who would win a tennis match between Wolverine and Wonder Woman? A team of nerds, a corps of comedians and a platoon of poets – featuring Boris “Bluz” Rogers – will battle in a debate competition judged by the Queen City Podcast Network’s Nerdskool Podcast team, while Harvard grad physicist Zyg Furmaniuk examines the chemistry in silver age comics. It’s nerd nirvana!

More: Free, Donations encouraged; April 15, 7:30 p.m.; online; blumenthalarts.org

HOMEGROWN TOMATO FESTIVAL

The 100 Gardens Homegrown Tomato Festival is going virtual, allowing the event to expand with national speakers and guests. The festival’s first part, “Before Those Maters’ Are Planted,” offers a virtual greenhouse tour and presentations by speakers including AppHarvest on bringing the first crop of indoor-grown tomatoes to grocers, Brie Arthur on growing a greener world through the foodscape revolution, Greg and Subrina Collier on likening their Camp North End restaurant Leah & Louise to a modern juke joint, TikTok’s favorite guitarplaying septuagenarian Funky Geezer performing “Homegrown Tomato” and more.

More: $18; April 17, 12 p.m.; online; homegrowntomato.org/

Tracks, socially distanced groups are led through an immersive outdoor murder investigation where groups of six to eight fledgling sleuths will meet the suspects, gather clues and solve the murder. Mystery fans can choose one of three locations to unravel the case: Camp North End, Duke Mansion or the VanLandingham Estate. In the scenario, set in 1937, a railroad magnate has been murdered by one of his fellow high-society passengers.

More: $150 and up per group; Starts April 16, 6:30 p.m.; locations vary; theatrecharlotte.org

INDIE FEST: LITTLE STRANGER & HUMAN RESOURCHES

Every Friday night in April, the Indie Fest Spring Series features outdoor socially distanced concerts spotlighting local and regional bands. A quirky alternative hip-hop duo born in Philadelphia and transplanted to Charleston, South Carolina, Little Stranger couples John Shields’ singer-songwriter chops with Kevin Shields’ confrontational delivery.

The two Shields (no relation) till a groove similar to the Gorillaz but with a loose reggae beat.

Charleston’s Human Resources crafts rocking alternative pop laced with sugary synths, stuttering guitars and fluttering falsettos.

More: Sold out; April 16, 6 p.m.; Lenny Boy Brewing, 3000 S. Tryon St.; discoverlennyboy.com

CYANCA

YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD ORCHESTRA: CYANCA & A LIGHT DIVIDED

Charlotte New Music’s Elizabeth Kowalski found most music livestreams a little boring, so she decided to do something about it. The first of five visually stunning collaborations between Charlottearea artists showcases two songs featuring R&B and soul singer Cyanca and Jaycee Clark from pop-metal outfit A Light Divided. The tunes are combined with orchestral scoring by composer and Your Neighborhood Orchestra founder Kowalski, choreography by aerialist Satya Jvala and professional mermaid Danielle Houston and videography directed by Brian Twitty.

More: Free; April 18, 1 p.m.; online; charlottenewmusic.org

LIFESTYLE PUZZLES SUDOKU

TRIVIA TEST

BY FIFI RODRIGUEZ

BY LINDA THISTLE

PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE.

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©2020 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.

1. LANGUAGE: What is the word for “M” in the international alphabet code used in radio?

2. TELEVISION: What was the real first name of the character Fonzie in the comedy “Happy Days”?

3. SCIENCE: Which country has the greatest number of tornados annually?

4. GEOGRAPHY: What is the capital of Australia?

5. ANIMAL KINGDOM: What are the only two known mammals that lay eggs?

6. LITERATURE: What was the name of the first monster in “Beowulf”?

7. MOVIES: What was the name of the villain in the movie “Three Amigos!”?

8. U.S. STATES: What is the nickname of Wyoming?

9. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: What is the color of envy, culturally speaking?

10. BUSINESS: Which country’s basic currency is the sol?

CROSSWORD ACROSS 1 Napoleon exile locale 5 Lobby gp.

8 -- Bill (Old West hero) 13 Soda shop drink 19 Diving bird 20 Glass of public radio 21 Large crowd 22 Muzzle-loading tool 23 “You Light Up My Life” singer’s good friend?

26 Orange-and-black bird 27 Many times o’er 28 Real ladies’ men 29 Close examination of the “Room at the Top” novelist?

31 Some of a “Waltons” actor’s furniture?

34 Blast creator 35 Camera variety, for short 36 Mets’ old ballpark 37 Ballgame cry 40 Sugar suffix 42 Help 44 Heap 48 What the penner of “Tristram Shandy” spoke with?

51 Toward the rudder 54 Lures 58 Paris-to-Berlin dir.

59 Aviating guys 60 “You Send Me” crooner’s preferred cruise destinations?

63 Mr. or Dr. 65 Seraglios 66 “-- Ben Adhem” 67 A&E part 68 Greedy gullet 71 TV awards 72 “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” writer not at home?

74 Pie serving 76 Coloring stuff 77 Litigious one 78 Gillette’s -- II razor 79 Truthful 80 Longtime SeaWorld whale 82 “Two Treatises of Government” philosopher making a choice?

84 Not eternal 87 Me, to Mimi 89 Tranquil 90 Long time 91 Red fruit for an “L.A. Law” actress?

94 Joins closely 96 Smith and Jones film, for short 97 WWW access inits.

98 PC b-board admins 102 Google Play purchases 106 1998 Angelina Jolie film 108 Gmail alternative 110 “Gladiator” Oscar winner’s kin?

114 “House” co-star’s estimate?

118 Get more profound 119 Mil. VIP 120 Queued 121 Doctor’s plan for the author of “Common Sense”?

124 Secondary divinity, in Greek myth 125 Break in, say 126 Pooch checker 127 Teeny bit 128 Firstborn 129 Unpopular plants 130 Quaint ending for 100-Down 131 Black stone

DOWN 1Bodily joints 2 Spa sponge 3 Infant sock 4 Shaker Lee 5 Loop of lace 6 Smell 7 Obtained 8 Sci-fi zapper 9 Long time 10 Infant bed 11 Smell 12 French legislature 13 Drivers’ places 14 Endangered 15 A little off 16 Declare 17 Makeup of a frozen Arctic cap 18 Early utopia 24 Before, to Kipling 25 Warsaw native 30 Involved with 32 Water spigot 33 Sea plea 38 Salt Lake City team 39 “Taps” hour 41 Devilish 43 Forest home 45 List units 46 Luau favors 47 Mushroom ends?

49 Made a new outline of 50 Miner’s haul 51 Pined 52 Frothy 53 Singer Mel 55 Diamond official at home 56 Fife player’s drum 57 Blizzard stuff 61 Crucial 62 Because of

Connect with free virtual arts, science, and history experiences for all ages.

CULTURE

BLOCKS

Find upcoming events at ArtsAndScience.org/CultureBlocks

E-QUIVALENT FIGURES ©2020 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.

64 Suffix with absurd 67 See 114-Down 68 The press, TV, etc.

69 Serving perfectly 70 Pie serving 72 Total 73 Brow curves 74 Established the tempo for 75 Pen filler 77 Product rep 79 Mention 80 Haloed Fr. woman 81 Cards dealt 82 Tulip’s kin 83 Foot with fur 84 “2001” studio 85 Not a copy 86 Sent a new invoice to 88 Photo -92 Baseball’s Matty 93 Top-row PC key 95 Actor Elliott 99 Demands 100 Verse creator 101 Zig or zag 103 Cooing bird 104 Oodles 105 Sentence structure 107 Stop on -109 Cartoon skunk Pepe 111 Duel swords 112 Notable acts 113 Bug in “A Bug’s Life” 114 With 67-Down, up and no longer sleepy 115 Baseballer Slaughter 116 Not crazy 117 Location 122 Toon Flanders 123 “O Sole --”

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

THE SEEKER A DIVE INTO DARKNESS

Searching for the bright side

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BY KATIE GRANT

A greatest fear of mine may be living a life that is subpar to my fullest potential and simply existing in a plane of mediocrity — living but not thriving, a plant that doesn’t bloom due to insufficiency ... feuille-morte.

I’ve been applying to graduate schools and if you are familiar with this process you too may have experienced the post-grad doldrums; talk about highs and lows. Making the decision to apply gave me a renewed sense of purpose, almost like a high — a side effect I was not expecting at all.

Another emotional wave I didn’t consider? The grief and angst that follows receiving a rejection letter — the “after carefully reviewing your application we’ve decided to move forward with candidates that may be a better fit for this particular program” letter.

It’s an existential angst that is hard to articulate and also a little difficult to talk about. So many of us attach success in our career to our identity that we lose sight of our true Self. But what is the true Self?

According to Yogapedia, “There are two parts to the Self. The first is the lower Self, or ego, which consists of the temporary body, the five senses, changing thoughts and opinions. The second is the higher or true Self, and is the essential core of a person that is unchanging.”

The latter is what I want to reconnect with: the Atman, which can be described as your higher self or soul.

People meditate for many reasons, including as a way to calm down, lessen physical pain or loosen mental loops, but we also all meditate for the same reason: to feel psychologically lighter.

Because meditation is a pathway to a heightened state of awareness or point of focus, it’s my go-to when I need to release my grip on the day or look for a solution.

The Collective Good, a new destination in the Cherry neighborhood that offers curated goods and wellness services, offers group meditation some-

times. Since it can be challenging to meditate at home (Do the dogs have water? I should check in with work. Is it too late for another cup of coffee?)

I find it easier and have a better overall experience through guided meditations elsewhere.

Walking through the door of The Collective Good, I immediately find myself in the promised land of consumerism; house plants, jewelry, candles abound!

“Stay focused,” I remind myself. “You’re not here to shop.”

Through a short hallway sits the meditation room, a dimly lit space with ample floor cushions, wall tapestries and a colossal house plant. I immediately feel at home.

Settling comfortably onto the floor (I prefer to lay down during meditation), I close my eyes and sink into my surroundings. I even keep my eyes closed while the guide introduces herself, ready to be lulled into a deep meditation.

Our guide leads me and a few other attendees into a peaceful meditation paired with “Solfeggio frequencies.” I am familiar with this type of music but not so well that I can articulate it into words, so I’ll let someone else take the lead.

According to Attuned Vibrations, “Solfeggio frequencies make up the ancient 6-tone scale thought to have been used in sacred music, including the beautiful and well known Gregorian Chants. The chants and their special tones were believed to im-

part spiritual blessings when sung in harmony. Each Solfeggio tone is comprised of a frequency required to balance your energy and keep your body, mind and spirit in perfect harmony.”

Benefits of Solfeggio frequencies include deep relaxation, feeling more grounded, brain hemisphere balancing (like binaural beats, which I often listen to while working or writing), and clearing fear or grief to name a few. They are also said to transmute negative emotions into more positive feelings like joy.

I’d like to kindly request more joy from the universe, please! As someone on the precipice of a life-altering path (if I get into grad school, anyway), I fret over my life’s purpose, or dharma. This theme showed up during my meditation in a menacing way; dark, contrasting colors and a burnt umber tunnel filled with smoke and general malaise overshadowed my mental journey.

Afterwards, our guide reassured me that spring is a time of renewal and that it’s OK to take a break. To me, this means pressing pause on 12-hour workdays and reminding myself that no one else is pressuring me to perform, perform, perform other than myself.

I nodded in comprehension through my tears.

She also went full life-coach on me and advised that I double-check my outlook on life (it’s mostly overwhelmed and negative), which can make a world of difference.

If I’m lost in the woods, do I view it as such, or do I realign my thinking to see it so any step is in the right direction? Whatever keeps me out of the tunnel.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

PARTICIPANTS NEEDED FOR

TELEPATHY STUDY Seeking people ages 18-65 with an interest in understanding the relationship between the gut microbiome and human consciousness. Must be located in the Charlotte metro area and not currently taking antibiotics. Study will require about one hour of availability per week for four weeks and participants will be paid $25 per session. trillionfriends.com/experiment to register or to learn more

By Lucie Winborne • “The Whole Shabang” is a brand of potato chips once sold only in jails and prisons. It was so popular that in 2016, due to demand from ex-inmates, it was finally made available to the general public.

• The majority of people will tilt their head to the right when they kiss.

• Sherlock Holmes creator Sir Arthur Conan Doyle helped popularize skiing by being the first Englishman to document the sport.

• In Alabama, it’s against the law to drive while impersonating a member of the clergy.

• For centuries, doctors thought that medicines made with human flesh, blood or bone could be effective in curing all kinds of ailments, from epilepsy to headaches. The practice was called “corpse medicine.”

• The original name for the search engine Google was Backrub. It was renamed after the googolplex, which is the number 1 followed by 100 zeros.

• The fear of young people is known as “ephebiphobia.”

• Gatling gun salesmen went to Civil War battlefields to demonstrate their products in actual combat.

• A newly sworn-in Barack Obama visited the U.K. in 2009 and presented some rather curious gifts to the prime minister and queen: 25 DVDs to David Cameron, and an iPod Classic to the then-octogenarian Elizabeth II. Cameron returned the gesture with some “wellies” and Hobgoblin ale.

• In the Solomon Islands, dolphin teeth were (and still are) used as a form of currency.

• Historically, most Easter celebrants would have eaten lamb for the occasion, as the holiday has its roots in the Jewish Passover. Most American Easter dinners now feature ham, however, because years ago, hams cured over the winter would have been ready to serve in early spring. *** Thought for the Day: “When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.” — Harley Davidson © 2021 King Features Synd., Inc.

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LIFESTYLE

HOROSCOPE APRIL 7 - APRIL 13 ARIES

APRIL 14 - APRIL 20 LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) It’s a good ARIES (March 21 to April 19) It isn’t always easy LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) You usually

(March 21 to April 19) Regarding your upcoming challenges, the Aries Lamb should very quickly size things up and allow you to make the best possible use of whatever resources you have on hand. Good luck.

time to reassess where and how your strengths can help you build, and where your weaknesses can hinder you. Remember to build on your strongest foundation.

for the rambunctious Aries to give a second thought to their often spur-of-the-moment choices. But aspects favor rechecking a decision before declaring it final.

can win over the most stubborn skeptics on your own. But this time you can benefit from supporters who have been there, done that and are willing to speak up on your behalf.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) You rarely blame others for missteps that worked against you. But this time you need to lay out all the facts and insist that everyone acknowledge his or her share of the mistakes. Then start again.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) That personal matter that seemed so hard to deal with should be less confusing now. Don’t rush. Let things happen easily, without the risk of creating even more puzzlement.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Information emerges for the business-driven Bovine who feels ready to restart a stalled project. Be prepared to make adjustments as needed at any time during the process.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) You win admiration for your determination to do the right thing. Don’t be distracted from that course, despite the offer of tempting alternatives that might suddenly turn up.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) You might want to start making vacation plans. And don’t be surprised by unexpected family demands. Maintain control.

Be open to suggestions, but don’t get bogged down by them.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Part of you wants to SAGITTARIUS complete plans for an upcoming event, while your other self wants to see how things develop first.

Compromise by moving ahead with your plans while being open to change.

(November 22 to December 21) While you still need to maintain control of a dominant situation, a new development emerges, making the task easier and the outcome potentially more rewarding.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Work with both your CAPRICORN

(December 22 to January 19) A Moon Child and Crab aspects this week to keep both business offer sounds intriguing. But if you don’t your creative and your practical sides balanced. Your check it out thoroughly, you could have problems. intuition sharpens, giving you greater insight by the Take a set of questions with you when you attend middle of the week. your next meeting.

CANCER

CAPRICORN

LEO (July 23 to August 22) The Big Cat finally AQUARIUS

LEO (July 23 to August 22) Time for the Lion to AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) The week

should have all the information needed to move on with a project. If not, maybe you’ll want to give everything a new and more thorough check before trying to move on.

Change continues to be a strong factor in many important areas. Keep on top of them, and you won’t have to worry about losing control. A personal situation takes on a new look.

(January 20 to February 18) Your self-confidence should be coming back. That’s good news. But it might be a bit over the top right now, so best to let it settle down before you start making expensive decisions.

(June 21 to July 22) An unexpected change in a relationship could open up a problem or could lead to a much-needed and too-long-delayed reassessment of a number of matters. The choice is yours to make.

total the plusses and minuses resulting from recent favors moderation, especially if a health problem is personal and/or professional decisions. See what involved. Resist the impulse to do more than might worked, what didn’t and why, and base your next be good for you at this time. You can catch up later. big move on the results.

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VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Too much PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Your life, your VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) The clever emotional pain caused by someone you can’t win decisions. Good enough. But be sure you have all over as a friend? Then stop trying to do so. You have the facts you need to put into the decision-maker other things you need to work on this week. Go to it, mixing bowl and hope it will come out as it should. and good luck.

(December 22 to January 19) New factors might have a positive effect on a stillpending matter, but only if the information proves to be credible. Trusted colleagues might be able to offer needed advice.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) You could feel

more than a mite upset by someone or some people Virgo can make persuasion work by presenting a who might be creating problems for you. Find out case built on hard facts. Sentiment might touch the why they won’t change their ways. Their reasons heart, but it’s good, solid information that invariably might surprise you. wins the day.

BORN THIS WEEK: You find much of your creativity with new people who give you much to think about.

BORN THIS WEEK: You know how to inspire

others to do their best by setting a persuasive example of your own.

2020 KING FEATURES SYND., INC.

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

PG.19 PUZZLE ANSWERS

SAVAGE LOVE CONCESSIONS The doghouse can’t be forever

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BY DAN SAVAGE

I’m a 29-year-old straight male. I’ve been with my 25-year-old partner for six years. I love her and think that we are perfect for each other.

We have all the things that make existing with someone wonderful. But about two years into our relationship I had a two-week-long affair while I was out of the country.

I fucked up. I came clean to my partner and we’ve done our best to work through this over the last four years, but it has obviously caused some trust issues between us. I’ve never cheated again and I try every day to work through these issues I caused in our relationship.

There’s also been two recent instances of me breaking her trust. On a particularly stressful day I was caught sneaking a cigarette — the sneaking part is the issue — and on another occasion I did drugs in our communal back garden with a friend after she had gone to bed. I owned up to both straight away. I view both of these as being a symptom of the lockdown/pandemic prompting me to break with my “normal” behavior. But partner is no longer comfortable allowing me to have the freedom to go out with my friends and partake in drugs without her express permission, which she already said she’s unlikely to grant me.

The other element to this is, we want kids in three years. We’ve agreed that I will fully abstain from all drugs after we become parents.

My problem is that I feel trapped between a desire to meet the wants of my partner while also maintaining a degree of autonomy. When we discuss these matters — which we’ve been doing frequently lately — her argument boils down to this: “You did a bad thing, you need to make concessions so that I feel safe, you having to seek my permission makes me feel safe.” It’s coming to loggerheads and I don’t know if I’m the unreasonable one here, especially since I’m arguing for the freedom to do an illegal drug. I would appreciate your external, outside, drugpositive perspective in this.

DON’T REALLY SENTIMENT

UNDERSTAND

GIRLFRIENDS

I had some emergency dental work done this morning and I’m a little strung out on… what are those things called again? Oh, right: drugs.

Last night I selected the letters I wanted to respond to in this week’s column and I really didn’t expect to be on powerful painkillers when I sat down to write my responses today. In all honesty, I probably shouldn’t be operating advice machinery at the moment but deadlines are deadlines. You should take my advice with a grain silo or two of salt, DRUGS, and everyone else should just skip this week’s column entirely.

Okay! DRUGS! Here we go! My outside, external, drug-positive-but-with-caveats (see below) perspective on your dilemma boils down to this: Do not make babies with this woman.

Don’t scramble your DNA together with hers — not unless it makes your dick hard to think about begging this woman for permission every time you wanna smoke a little pot with a friend or take a fucking shit for the next 40 years. (And, trust me, you’re still going to want to smoke pot after the babies come.) If that kind of begging excites you, great. Have all the fucking babies.

But if that doesn’t excite you … dude … run the fuck away.

Yeah, yeah; you did a bad thing. You had an affair four years ago and you made the mistake of telling your girlfriend about it even though, one, she most likely was never going to find out about it and, two, you quickly came to regret it. Your regret wasn’t instantaneous — like you, DRUGS, your regret took a couple of weeks to come clean — but the fact that you haven’t cheated on her since is a pretty good indication that your regret was sincere.

And now here you are four years later, DRUGS, waking up every day and getting back to work on those trust issues. Because you’re still in trouble. Because you made the mistake of telling your girlfriend about an affair she would never have found known about if you had kept your mouth shut.

But you know … come to think of it … maybe it was a good thing that you told your girlfriend about the affair, DRUGS. Not because honesty is always the best policy. The famed couples counselor, author, podcaster, and Ted Talker Esther Perel urges people who’ve had affairs to consider the “burden of knowing” before they disclose.

If you sincerely regret the affair and it’s not going to happen again and your partner is not in any physical risk and is unlikely to hear about the affair from a third party, sparing them the burden of knowing is the second-most loving thing a person can do. (Not cheating at all would, of course, be the most loving thing a person can do.)

TRIVIA ANSWERS: 1. Mike 2. Arthur 3. United States, central and south regions

4. Canberra 8. The Equality State 5. Duck-billed platypus and the spiny anteater 9. Green 6. Grendel 10. Peru 7. El Guapo

So to be clear, DRUGS, I don’t think telling your girlfriend was the right thing to do because all affairs must be disclosed.

I think telling your particular girlfriend was the right thing to do because she’s telling on herself now. If she doesn’t feel like she can trust you ever again — and if she’s constantly on the lookout for new reasons why she can’t trust you — then she needs to end this relationship.

But she hasn’t ended the relationship, DRUGS, and you need to ask yourself why she hasn’t. I have a hunch: She hasn’t ended it because she likes it this way.

Someone who cheats and gets caught and discloses and wants to make it right can expect to spend some time, well, making it right. They should expect to spend some time in the doghouse and, to extend the metaphor, they should expect to spend some time on a short leash. But a person can’t spend the rest of their life in the doghouse.

A cheater has to take responsibility and be considerate about insecurities the affair may have created or worsened. But if a cheater has done all that and years later the person they cheated won’t let them out of the doghouse — or is constantly finding new reasons to keep the cheater in the doghouse — then the doghouse is where the cheated wants the cheater. Forever.

Which means instead of being angry you cheated on her, DRUGS, on some level your girlfriend is delighted you cheated on her. Because the wrong thing you did allows her to control you for the rest of your life.

But it shouldn’t. And if she insists it does or that it should, DRUGS, you should leave her.

About those caveats: You don’t specify the drug you used in the backyard with your friend but I’m gonna assume it was weed — which is legal where I live but not where you live. There is, of course, a big difference between stepping out to smoke a little pot after the girlfriend has gone to bed and sneaking out to smoke a

lotta meth. And if you’re an addict and a little pot has led to a lot of harder drugs in the past, your girlfriend’s zerotolerance policy might be justified.

But if we’re not talking about hard drugs and you don’t have addiction issues, DRUGS, you shouldn’t have to beg your girlfriend’s permission in advance — which she’s denied in advance — to smoke a little pot with a buddy.

I’ve been listening to old episodes of the Savage Lovecast while working from home.

Yesterday I heard you explain to straight male listeners that their straight female partners would say “yes” to sex more often if “sex” didn’t always mean the woman getting fucked.

That really resonated with me, a straight woman with a male partner. When my husband came onto me the next night and I didn’t feel like opening up to get basted, instead of saying “no” I offered to jerk him off while he sucked my tits. It was great — for both of us! Total win! Thank you, Dan Savage!

JOYFULLY ENJOYING RELEVANT KNOWLEDGE

You’re welcome, JERK! It’s always nice to hear from folks who’ve taken my advice and didn’t regret it!

Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage; mail@savagelove.net; savagelovecast.com

It’s about to be a

Hot Grill Summer

Calle Sol Latin Café & Cevicheria coming soon to Plaza Midwood