Queen City Nerve - June 2, 2021

VOLUME 3, ISSUE 14; JUNE 2 - JUNE 15, 2021; WWW.QCNERVE.COM

d by

Presente

SUMMER GUIDE 2021 Get live, get loud

NEWS: CMPD’s Use

of Force records are skewed pg. 6

MUSIC: Natalie Carr

in the driver’s seat pg. 20

TABLE OF CONTENTS

NEWS& OPINION 8

4 EDITOR’S NOTE BY RYAN PITKIN 6 COOKING THE BOOKS BY JUSTIN LAFRANCOIS

CMPD skews the numbers when reporting use-of-force incidents during protests

PUBLISHER

JUSTIN LAFRANCOIS jl afra n co i s @ q cn er ve.com

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF RYAN PITKIN rpi tk i n @ q cn e r ve. c om

ART DIRECTOR

JAYME JOHNSON jjo h n s o n @ q cn e r ve.com

STAFF WRITER

PAT MORAN pm o ra n @ q cn er ve . com

DIGITAL EDITOR LEA BEKELE l be ke l e @ q cn er ve . com

AD SALES EXECUTIVE RENN WILSON r wi l s o n @ q cn e r ve . com

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BLACK HISTORY OF CHARLOTTE: SLAVERY & REVOLUTION PART 2 BY PAMELA GRUNDY From the cotton gin to the Civil War

10 FINDING THE COURAGE BY RYAN PITKIN Melody Gross reflects on her first year running Courageous Shift

ARTS& 16 CULTURE

12 SUMMER GUIDE 2021 All the live music, arts, shopping, food, and sporting events on the way GET REAL BY CECILIA WHALEN Andrew Leventis highlights photorealism talent with Refrigerator series

18 LIFELINE: A DOSE OF REALITY

MUSIC 22 24 FOOD& DRINK LIFESTYLE

20 IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT BY PAT MORAN Natalie Carr charts a course for success on her own terms SOUNDWAVE

OUT OF THE POOL BY DION BEARY & PAT MORAN The Goodyear House accused of illegally misappropriating tips

27 PUZZLES 28 THE SEEKER BY KATIE GRANT 28 STRANGE FACTS 29 HOROSCOPE 30 SAVAGE LOVE

Presented

THANKS TO OUR CONTRIBUTORS:

by

PAT MORAN, LEA BEKELE, ANNIE MCGOWAN, GRANT BALDWIN,

SUMMER 2021 GUIDE Get live, get loud

PAMELA GRUNDY, DION BEARY, NEWS: CMPD’s Use

of Force records are skewed pg. 6

MUSIC: Natalie Carr

in the driver’s seat pg. 20

COVER DESIGN & PHOTO BY: JAYME JOHNSON

CECILIA WHALEN, LAURA WOLFF, ALVIN C. JACOBS JR., RICK ULLBERG, KATIE GRANT, AND DAN SAVAGE.

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EDITOR’S NOTE

A NEVERENDING FIGHT When you know you can’t save the world, but you try anyway

BY RYAN PITKIN

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I first met Melody Gross in 2018 while working on a series of stories about domestic violence in Charlotte.

We met up at an old Dupp&Swatt location on The Plaza, and I was immediately struck by the figure she cut despite being more than a foot shorter than me. Her self-confidence was undeniable.

“Anybody who knows me will tell you that I am very opinionated and outspoken,” Gross told me back then. “There’s this mentality that women who experience domestic violence are weak and shy or they’re in the corner in the fetal position, and that wasn’t really the case. If you’re calling me a bitch I’m gonna say, ‘Ya mother.’”

In March 2016, Gross and her young son fled an

abusive man, and once she was able to get back on her feet, she made it her life’s work to advocate for others while pushing back against the idea that it takes a weak woman to find herself in an abusive relationship.

In fact, now more than five years later, Gross still has trauma related to the incident, as she told me during a recent interview, which you can find on pg. 10.

“Even now sometimes, I’m years out, however, if I do something in the news, if I have an interview like this, especially if it’s a visual, on-TV thing, I’m cautious for the next week or two after that,” she told me. “I’m looking behind me and making sure that I’m not taking the same route.”

In early 2020, Gross launched Courageous Shift, a consulting and support organization that aims to help survivors of domestic violence navigate their escape from abusive relationships and their lives thereafter.

Through her consulting work, she also helps employers become more accommodating to survivors in the workplace through policies and programs that help coworkers recognize when there’s a problem and ensure safety for those involved.

Last November, Gross added a third aspect to Courageous Shift, partnering with Sanctuary in the City to launch the Eva Lee Parker Fund, a collection that supplies emergency funding to Black women who are fleeing from abusive situations.

Having known Melody for years, in May, I experienced the importance of her work firsthand.

Early that month I became aware that a family I am close to had been dealing with abuse. The family, which consists of a mother and two children, one of whom I’ve mentored for seven years, fled the city early one morning after an especially bad night.

I was heartbroken by this news for so many reasons, not the least of which for not having recognized that there was an issue at all. I couldn’t help but think about how often I tried to make it clear that “Lil’ Man,” as I call him, could come to me in any situation where he was having issues. But he was a steel trap.

I certainly wouldn’t hold that against him, as Gross explained to me it’s completely normal for children in such situations to keep their mouths shut, whether out of shame, fear or the long-taught belief that what happens in the home stays there.

“We have to build spaces where people feel comfortable with seeking help. To be clear, I don’t just mean for the people who are experiencing it, I also mean for the people who are perpetrating it,” she said. “We can absolutely help survivors and victims and get them to safety and get them the emotional support, and we also need to have programs and systems in place so that people can say, ‘I am out of control and I feel like I am going to

harm someone. I need help.’ So when we remove the stigma around domestic violence and around abuse and we understand the different forms that it comes in … when we have programs and systems in place to help everyone involved, then we can see some changes. Then we can see some shifts.”

Gross was able to help my mentee’s family through the Eva Lee Parker Fund. They had left their home with nothing, and while I worked toward helping them schedule movers to go to the house and confront other issues that would take longer to solve, the fund lifted them up in their most immediate time of need.

And yet now, the fund is beginning to dry up. I asked Gross how she grapples with the overwhelming need in her field … fighting to end an issue that has been a part of society since societies were formed.

“For me, I definitely take it one step at a time,” she said. “If I can help one person get to safety or even acknowledge that they’re experiencing abuse, one person, I’m fine with that. That is a wave effect, I’m helping them, and if they have children, then those children are helped. Their friends are helped.

So for me it’s like, OK, I can’t save the world but I can save those who come to me.”

Spoken like a true local hero.

RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM

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NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

force and weapons were used only 778 times between 2016 and 2020, but 2,378 incidents of physical force and use of weapons by police were reported between April and June of 2020.

Portland police officers are required to selfreport their own use-of-force incidents after protest activity.

CMPD skews its numbers Comparing reported use-of-force incidents when reporting use-of-force by CMPD during localized civil unrest in 2020 and incidents during protests protests in response to the police killing of Keith Lamont Scott in September 2016 shows how, when

BY JUSTIN LAFRANCOIS it comes to recording use-of-force incidents during large-scale protests in Charlotte, the department On the night of June 2, 2020, peaceful protesters skews the numbers. marched into the intersection of East 5th and North McDowell streets and were hit with nine diversionary explosive devices, also known as flashbangs. This would mark the beginning of the most aggressive largescale attack on citizens by police in Charlotte’s history, as a few blocks away, the same protesters would be flanked and ambushed by CMPD officers implementing a kettling technique. The attack made national headlines, changed how CMPD is allowed to spend its money, and inspired a bill introduced into the U.S. House of Representatives.

According to CMPD records, the nine flashbangs deployed at 5th and McDowell, the countless flashbangs used between Tryon and College streets on East 4th Street, the seemingly endless barrage of pepper balls that CMPD OFFICERS AIM PEPPER BALL GUNS AT PROTESTERS ON MAY 29. officers fired on protesters from ground level and a parking garage above, and canister after canister of tear gas How are incidents of force reported used in a 30-minute period after 9 p.m. on June 2, 2020 were all counted as one use-of-force incident in CMPD? According to CMPD directive 600-019(7)(g) a by the department’s Internal Affairs Bureau.

Supervisor Investigative Report is filed when, “The A November 2020 article by the Portland Civil Emergency Unit or other specialized unit uses Mercury compared use-of-force incidents against the less lethal option(s) to disperse rioters, mobs, protesters between April 1 and June 30, 2020, to use-of-force incidents against protesters between crowds, or barricaded subjects. In this situation January 2016 and January 2020. The number of the commander of [that] unit will complete one incidents during the three-month period of Portland Supervisor’s Investigative Report.”

The reports are used to document each singular protests in response to the police murder of George incident of use of force internally within CMPD. Floyd in May of 2020 were three times higher than These investigations are required in any situation that of the previous four years combined. Physical

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COOKING THE BOOKS

that clearly involves the use of a less lethal or lethal control method, according to the directive.

After any of these incidents are reported, an investigation is logged in the Internal Affairs Case Management System and then investigated by an officer’s immediate supervisor, and adjudicated throughout the officer’s chain of command, according to a representative with CMPD’s Internal Affairs Bureau.

Logging all use of force incidents as one event during periods of civil unrest causes skewed numbers, working in favor of the department’s messaging strategies, since residents cannot confirm the true number of times force was used

The practice of grouping all use-of-force incidents during a given protest into one report makes it difficult for residents to file a complaint against an individual officer for using force during protest activity, or to track which officers may be acting overzealous with their weapons.

However, the incidents are more accurately logged internally so the department can assign complaints to individual officers who were present and active during each event.

Each event report filed with Internal Affairs during protest activity contains a Grenadier Usage Form that includes an officer’s name, platoon number and date of incident that logs all munitions used by each individual officer and platoon so that if an external complaint is filed, it can be attached to a platoon or an officer in that area or at that time.

An IA representative outlined how these events are logged by stating, “In the event an unlawful assembly was declared, and riot control agents were utilized at a single location and within a sustained operational period, any and all riot control agents deployed would be captured in one IACMS investigative case. The munitions log is attached to the investigative file to account for all munitions utilized and their respective operator/ officer. The IACMS investigation is completed by the CEU commander.

In the event an individual PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN comes forward to file a complaint for excessive force, during response to a protest. whether at the time of the event or in the following These skewed numbers are included in the days, the individual will be added to the existing year-end Internal Affairs report outlining the annual case as a complainant, an allegation of Rule of number of use-of-force incidents.

Conduct 28A will be added to the officer(s)’ file, The average annual Total Use of Force incidents and the complaint will be investigated by Internal hasn’t changed (pictured in graph on pg. 7), but Affairs. the number of incidents broken out into racial If multiple people file complaints for acts that demographics or by how many weapons were used occurred within the same event, they are all added during each incident have continued to increase. to the existing case file. The Use of Force event is No data for use-of-force incidents by race is counted as one event. Complaints of excessive use available after 2012, which is when CMPD stopped of force are counted individually when complaint including the demographic breakdown in their data is calculated. annual reports.

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NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

through the city of Charlotte: the 8 Can’t Wait national unjustified shootings by police, but also how police initiative by Campaign Zero. One of the eight pillars of departments record all other instances differently.” the initiative is around comprehensive reporting and One of the main facets of the George Floyd Justice Use-of-force events during the documenting of police behavior, and working to align in Policing Act, a civil rights and police reform bill incident reporting by police departments across the introduced into the U.S. House in February 2021, is 2020 Charlotte protests There are only three ROC 28A complaints in country to make publicly available information more to improve transparency through data collection. The one file stemming from the protests in Charlotte uniform and give the public a better avenue to hold bill, which has not yet passed through the U.S. Senate, their departments accountable. includes reporting requirements for local police between May 29 and August 31, 2020. departments on all incidents involving force including “At any point during the investigative process if the chain of command has concern that the use Community continues to push for the national origin, sex, race, ethnicity, age, disability, English language proficiency, and housing status of of force may be excessive (not within policy), an reform and transparency each civilian targeted; the date, time, and location of allegation of Rule of Conduct 28A: Excessive Use Some of the discussion around comprehensive of Force will be added to the case (applied to the reporting from last year was focused on whether the incident; whether the civilian was armed; the type appropriate officer or officers) and transferred to pointing a service weapon at a civilian should be of force used; the reason force was used; a description Internal Affairs for further investigation,” an Internal counted as a use-of-force incident. Federico Rios of the of any injuries sustained; the number of officers and civilians involved in the incident; and a brief Affairs representative stated.

Safe Communities Committee Community Input Group “When a citizen lodges a complaint of excessive (SCCCIG) stated that beyond wanting to add pointing a description regarding the circumstances surrounding the incident. use of force by an officer, the same method applies, an allegation of Rule of Conduct 28A is entered into the IACMS and an Internal Affairs investigation is initiated,” they continued.

According to files obtained through a public records request, on Beatties Ford Road on May 29, the first evening of protests in Charlotte, there were two use-of-force events consisting of six use-offorce allegations with no excessive ROC 28A CMPD STOPPED KEEPING TRACK OF USE-OF-FORCE INCIDENTS AS THEY PERTAIN TO RACE IN 2012. allegations.

For the protests Making these descriptions required by law that occurred in Uptown between May 29 and Aug. firearm as a reportable use of force, the SCCCIG felt the would put more pressure on police departments 21, there were 22 use-of-force events consisting of department needed to make its reporting policies more to accurately and publicly report individual use-of64 use-of-force allegations with just one ROC 28A comprehensive and more transparent. force incidents during periods of protest. allegation. During the time of the Republican National “Across the board, we needed better comprehensive The June 2 kettling incident, carried out by Convention (RNC) in Charlotte there were nine use-of- reporting, we needed better data, to hold departments CMPD Major Robert Dance and Lieutenant Chris force events consisting of 36 use-of-force allegations accountable, and in our case we needed to make our Rorie, made national headlines, but there are with two ROC 28A allegations recorded. data more readily available to the public,” Rios said. many unreported incidents of force used by CMPD In total, there were 33 use-of-force events with Robert Dawkins of SAFE Coalition NC, who also 106 use-of-force allegations recorded during the served on the SCCCIG, believes more comprehensive throughout the period of protests in 2020.

One event occurred the evening before the first 2020 Charlotte protests, which went on for nearly reporting includes different departments getting on day of the RNC. On Aug. 23 at around 11:30 p.m., 90 days and made national headlines due to CMPD’s the same page. officers Queen City Nerve has identified as Charles use of force and dispersal activity. In total, there “It’s been an issue,” he told Queen City Nerve. were only 418 use-of-force incidents reported in “We’ve asked on the state level, and people are Famulari, Joshua Grout and John Koukopoulos advanced on their bikes as part of the Public Order 2020 by CMPD compared to 453 in 2019. asking on the federal level, for uniform reporting.

Advocates and activists have been working on That’s one of things when we look at the George Bike unit of the Civil Emergency Unit, presumably at police reform, transparency and abolition over the past Floyd [Justice in Policing] Act that has always the command of Sergeant Brandon Overcash, toward year, including one of the larger initiatives to come been an issue — not just about justified or a group of protesters occupying the intersection of

Trade and Tryon streets and surrounding a vehicle.

In our video recording of the incident, the officers can be seen pedaling rapidly into the crowd and lowering their shoulders as they proceed to use themselves and their bicycles as a battering ram to clear the crowd. One officer ended up on the ground with one of the protesters he had just knocked off their feet.

There are no complaint or incident files reported for this specific incident and it has since been shuffled into one of 139 events and allegations reported during the protests. Because of the lack of individual reporting during civil unrest and the inability for people on the street to identify officers because they wear only patches with three-digit numbers as identifiers, these officers have not yet been held accountable for their aggressive actions during that evening.

As a witness to roughly 100 different instances of CMPD officers using their bikes to separate members of a crowd, this was the first time I had witnessed the decision to not dismount the bike and use it as a pushing mechanism to disperse the crowd.

And because of the reporting structure, it was just added to a pool of incidents containing pepper spray, pepper balls and police-bike-tohuman-skin contact.

Since anything that occurred during a period of time that CMPD determines as being one event, this incident and all other incidents from that evening are reported as one use of force. Because officers are not required to report their own incidents of using force during protest activity, this has been swept away.

“It gives you a false sense that things are turning, at the same time it gives you a place to hide your numbers,” Dawkins said of the current policy.

“To have true transparency you can’t have them be able to do things like grouping or things like lowering how things are classified and hopefully we took the first step with comprehensive reporting, and hopefully with your reporting it will come up.

What’s the next step that we need to do as far as reporting to get transparency?”

JLAFRANCOIS@QCNERVE.COM

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

BLACK HISTORY OF CHARLOTTE: SLAVERY & REVOLUTION PART 2

From the cotton gin to the Civil War

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BY PAMELA GRUNDY

In November 1839, the editors of the Charlotte Journal filled their paper with all sorts of news: announcements of militia musters, reports on the price of bacon, rope and nails, a diatribe against the “train of evils” that would follow a decline in support for the state’s banks. They also printed a brief advertisement: “RANAWAY from the subscriber, on the 25th of October, a negro man named ROBBIN, about 45 years old, five feet 8 or 10 inches high, dark complected and heavy made, has on his right hand some severe scars, having been torn by a Cotton Gin. He is a shrewd smart fellow and no doubt will endeavor to get in with some white man to assist him along. I think it probable he will make for Ohio or Indiana.”

Dozens of similar notices appeared in North Carolina papers in the first decades of the 19th century, offering tantalizing clues to the lives of the state’s enslaved African Americans.

Tom, who left in 1816, was “about 16 or 17 years old, with a scar on his left arm, occasioned by a burn.” He was “born of African parents and can speak their language.”

Nancy, described as “remarkably likely and of a pleasant expression of countenance” was supposedly “enticed away by her husband” in 1825.

Nicodemus, a 29-year-old described as “5 feet, 6 or 7 inches high, dark complexion, a scar on one of his cheeks,” escaped from Capp’s Gold Mine in 1829.

Armisted, “a first rate Tanner and Harness Maker,” departed the tanning shop of Peter Brown in 1849, possibly using “free papers belonging to a free boy of Charlotte by the name of Isaac Adams.”

The 19th century brought dramatic change to Mecklenburg County. The cotton gin that scarred

Robbin’s hand was patented in 1794 and sparked applications [and] could get $250 next year for him a massive expansion in cotton farming — and without any trouble.”

Free people of color demand for enslaved labor — across the South.

Gold mines provided one such opportunity.

The practice of “hiring out” helped some The discovery of gold in 1799 created a robust The discovery of gold in a Cabarrus County stream African Americans forge paths to freedom. At mining industry and brought a branch of the U.S. in 1799 sparked a rush of exploration. Enslaved times, enslaved workers were allowed to keep part Mint to town. Charlotte’s neat grid of streets began workers were part of the endeavor from the start of their wages and use them to “buy” freedom for to fill with homes, shops and workplaces at a pace — one report described as many as 3,000 enslaved themselves and other family members. that quickened after the first railroad line arrived in people assigned to sift through gravel deposits in a Emerging from slavery was an extraordinary 1852. particularly productive streambed near Rutherford experience. “When, at length, I had . . . got my Enslaved African Americans formed the County. One later assessment suggested that a third free papers, so that my freedom was quite secure, backbone of this growth. By 1850, 5,473 of of mine workers were enslaved. my feelings were greatly excited,” wrote boat pilot Mecklenburg County’s 13,914 residents (39%) were Gold mining in Mecklenburg County picked Moses Grandy of Camden County. “I felt to myself enslaved, and it was “no uncommon thing to find the up when focus shifted from streambed mining to so light, that I almost thought I could fly, and in my finest blacksmiths, carpenters, tanners, shoemakers underground excavation. Enslaved men and women sleep I was always dreaming of flying over woods and in fact all kinds of mechanics” among them. joined local whites and recent immigrants in mining and rivers.”

Enslaved men made and likely laid the operations around the county. In 1838, for example, The presence of free Blacks in North Carolina bricks for institutions such as Davidson College, the Capps Hill Mine employed 28 enslaved men and exposed several of the contradictions in the state’s the Mecklenburg County Courthouse and the 10 enslaved women. It was dirty, dangerous work, racial hierarchies. John Schenck, Charlotte Mint — now the a Cleveland County native who Mint Museum-Randolph. would become one of Charlotte’s They labored on farms, in most prominent post-Civil War workshops, in mines and in leaders, offers one example. mills. They positioned the rail Schenck trained as a lines that would transform the carpenter and used the wages he region, maintained the tracks, earned to purchase freedom for hauled wood and water for the himself and his wife, Pauline. But big steam engines. in addition to his multiple talents, Enslaved women worked he had another advantage — his the fields alongside their enslaver was also his father. male counterparts — Carey As slavery expanded, Freeman, her daughter later relationships between recalled, “could lift one end slaveholders and enslaved of a log with any man.” They women — usually coerced — cared for children, cooked, became common. Mixed-race cleaned, gardened, spun individuals, known as mulattoes, thread, wove cloth and made became a growing share of North bedding and clothes.

Carolina’s population. Many of They also looked after the people whom slaveholders AN ILLUSTRATION DEPICTING SLAVE LABOR IN ANTEBELLUM NORTH CAROLINA. each other. “They were chose to emancipate were their remarkably true,” noted J.B. direct descendants.

Alexander. “They would never give away one of their but it did hold possibilities. Miners were often paid The 1850 census enumerated 156 free Blacks color. It was a noted fact that they would submit to in gold, and at times enslaved miners were able to in Mecklenburg County. Residents of one Charlotte keep some of it, by contract or sleight of hand. An neighborhood included Isaac Adams, the Virginiathe lash rather than tell on each other.”

The first half of the 19th century saw the start English geologist who visited North Carolina in born saddlemaker whose free papers the fugitive of Mecklenburg County industry — blacksmith the 1840s noted of the enslaved workers that they tanner Armisted had supposedly acquired; forges, brickmaking operations, small textile mills, “appeared to be submissive in their manners and brickmason Thomas Reid; and Mary Pethel, who iron and gold mines. Ambitious entrepreneurs found to work very hard,” but that they secreted gold for lived with her 6-year-old twins James and Elizabeth. ways to profit from enslaved labor in all of them. themselves whenever they could.

In the salt-and-pepper pattern common to the For those attempting to flee slavery, bustling era, they had plenty of white neighbors, including Slaveholders frequently enhanced their income by mine camps and underground mining tunnels could the families of stonecutter James Biggerly and “hiring out” enslaved workers.

“I will send you up Bill, one of my blacksmiths,” be good hiding places, as well as potential sources U.S. Mint “refiner” Andrew Erwin, as well as the John Springs of York County, S.C., wrote to son- of income. “Runaway” advertisements frequently carpentry establishment of Jonas Rudisill and the in-law A.B. Davidson in 1836. “You can hire him suggested that fugitive individuals might be found tannery of Peter Brown. out or work him at home. I have had three or four near particular gold mines.

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

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Family separation

Most African Americans, however, remained at the mercy of enslavers, their fates dependent on the fluctuating rhythms of marriage and death, profit and loss. The transfer of Bill the blacksmith from John Springs to A.B. Davidson was part of one such shift. Davidson had just married Springs’ daughter Mary, and Springs’ wedding gift included a plantation in Lincoln County, half a dozen heifers and steers, three horses, a “full set of knives and forks compleat [sic],” and 20 enslaved individuals, among them 51-year-old Bill, 21-year-old Fanny, 50-year-old Peggy, and 42-year-old Ann. The transaction marked a hard fact of enslaved life — family separation. Following a common practice, Ann was married to a man who was enslaved on a different plantation, and her husband was not part of the group. Springs informed Davidson that he had “an expectation of getting” the man, and that if successful he would send him to the Davidsons and take Ann’s oldest son, 15-yearold Wilbert, in return. Neither Ann, her husband or Wilbert had any legal say in the matter.

Springs carefully recorded the transfer in his accounts. As was typical of the time, the price placed on the people exceeded that of the land they worked.

By 1836, family separations were becoming more common, driven once again by the search for wealth. In the first decades of the century, U.S. troops pushed the Choctaw, Chickasaw, Cherokee, Creek and Seminoles out of their rich lands in Alabama, Mississippi and Arkansas. Enterprising planters sought new fortunes in those areas, primarily by growing the cotton that had become the driver of the worldwide Industrial Revolution.

This expanding plantation system required new labor. North Carolina slaveholders began to pay their debts and supplement their incomes by moving to these new areas, or by selling enslaved workers “down South,” far beyond the reach of friends and family.

Moses Grandy was at work on a Camden County canal one morning when he “heard a noise behind me.” He looked up and saw a line of people being led out of the county by a trader. Hearing one call his name, he went over to them. “I wondered who among them should know me, and found it was my wife,” he later wrote. “She cried out to me, ‘I am gone.’” The trader gave the couple a few minutes

to talk. “My heart was so full, that I could say very little,” Grandy later recounted.” I gave her the little money I had in my pocket, and bid her farewell. I have never seen or heard of her from that day to this.

I loved her as I loved my life.”

Carey Freeman’s life was also shaped by this quest for wealth – she was forced to leave Mecklenburg County for Tennessee as a teenager, and then to leave Tennessee for Arkansas as a new mother. “The white folks separated my mother and father when I was a little baby in their arms,” Freeman’s daughter, Eliza Washington, later explained.

In Arkansas, when Carrie and Eliza gathered with other displaced African Americans for corn shuckings, the traditionally festive occasion included songs that “were pitiful and sad,” Eliza noted. One began: “The speculator bought my wife and child/ And carried her clear away.”

The rise in separations prompted growing numbers of people to run away – to seek out lost loved ones or to flee slavery altogether. Such endeavors were aided by a growing abolition movement in the North, which included a network of assistance run by whites and African Americans known as the Underground Railroad.

Hints of the Railroad’s operation surfaced in the 1839 advertisement that surmised that “shrewd smart” Robbin might “endeavor to get in with some white man” in an effort to reach Ohio or Indiana.

Those relatively new states were free territory and home to many families whose opposition to slavery had prompted them to leave the South.

Among them was Greensboro-born Quaker Levi Coffin, whose family had been helping people escape slavery since he was a boy. Coffin moved his family out of the state in 1826, and soon set up an important Underground Railroad station along the Indiana-Ohio border.

Tightening restrictions

As national tensions over slavery grew, escape was not the only act whites feared.

In 1829, Wilmington native David A. Walker published a pamphlet titled “An Appeal to the Colored Citizens of the World.” The pamphlet, which circulated widely in North Carolina, sharply denounced slavery and urged fellow African Americans to fight the institution in any way they could — including force.

Two years later, enslaved preacher Nat Turner led a violent revolt at the North Carolina-Virginia border, in which participants killed more than 60 whites. The uprising struck terror into whites across both states. Carey Freeman, who was still in

Mecklenburg County at the time, told her daughter that “the white folks called all the slaves up to the big house and kept them there a few days. There wasn’t no trouble but they had heard that there was an uprising among the slaves . . . They didn’t do nothin’ to them. They just called them up to the house, and kept them there. It all passed over soon.”

The uprising may have passed, but it was not forgotten. North Carolina legislators responded by passing new, more restrictive laws that made it much harder to free an enslaved person and instituted harsh penalties for teaching enslaved people to read. Free Black men, who had been allowed to vote since the Revolution, were officially stripped of that right.

Like their counterparts across the state, white Charlotteans were keenly aware that the very existence of free African Americans challenged a system built on the idea that whites should rule and Blacks should obey. In September of 1852, a month before the city celebrated the arrival of the Charlotte & South Carolina Railroad, white leaders lamented the “general and growing spirit of insubordination among our slaves,” especially as seen in a “bold attempt” by some “to make their way to the free States under forged free papers.” They called for all free African Americans to be banished from North Carolina, arguing that such actions “would not only elevate and improve their own social condition, but would also render that of our slaves more happy, contented, and tolerable.”

Civil War

In the spring of 1861, the national divide over slavery led to war. Union forces quickly seized much of North Carolina’s strategic coast, and hundreds of the enslaved people who lived near captured coastal towns made their way to Union lines. These onceenslaved North Carolinians would aid the Union in many ways, serving as soldiers, cooks, guides and spies. In 1863, several thousand Black North Carolina soldiers formed regiments that would become known as the African Brigade.

In Charlotte, far from the front lines, freedom seemed less close to hand. Businesses hummed with new activity, producing gunpowder, clothing, cannon and other goods for Confederate troops.

Charlotte’s railroad connections, combined with Wilmington’s blockade-running ships, created a major route for moving goods into and out of the region.

In 1862 the Confederacy moved its naval production yard to Charlotte from the beleaguered port of Norfolk, employing several hundred

ironworkers to cast propellers, anchors, gun carriages, ammunition and other items for Confederate ships. Enslaved African Americans continued to play essential roles in all these endeavors.

An 1864 advertisement calling for the capture and return of 29-year-old Dick noted that he had worked as a railroad brakeman on the North Carolina Railroad, and had spent the previous summer employed by “the Navy Yard in Charlotte.”

He might well be “lurking” around Charlotte, the ad continued, because his wife had been hired to work there.

When Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation, early in 1863, white Charlotteans did their best to ignore it. “We do not think it prudent to publish such stuff, and we hope that southern papers will take as little notice of it as possible,” wrote the Charlotte-based Western Democrat. A few months later, however, the paper’s editors lamented that Mecklenburg County had seen a surge in escapes, which they attributed to “devilishness or improper influences.”

Fighting drew closer as the war neared its end.

At the start of 1865, General William Tecumseh Sherman and his troops cut a path of destruction through South Carolina, attracting a growing crowd of liberated African Americans. Charlotte residents fearfully tracked Sherman’s approach, breathing a sigh of relief when he decided to veer east towards Raleigh. General George Stoneman’s Raiders swept through the western Piedmont, wreaking havoc in Greensboro, Salisbury, Statesville, Lincolnton and Gaston County. They burned the Charlotte and South Carolina Railroad’s Catawba River bridge, but they did not come to Charlotte.

Events moved swiftly after that. On April 9, Robert E. Lee surrendered to Ulysses S. Grant. On April 14, John Wilkes Booth shot and killed President Abraham Lincoln. On April 19, fleeing Confederate President Jefferson Davis arrived in Charlotte, where he held his final Cabinet meetings. He left town on April 26 and was captured in Georgia on May 10.

That same day a group of Black North Carolinians made it clear that they expected the full rights of citizenship. In a petition addressed to President Andrew Johnson, they proclaimed that “We want the privilege of voting. It seems to us that men who are willing on the field of danger to carry the muskets of a republic, in the days of Peace ought to be permitted to carry its ballots.”

A new world — and new struggles — lay ahead.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

actually came to my job and told them that I was arrested and things like that. When you have a policy in place and you welcome the conversations around domestic violence in the workplace, you then have an employee who says, “This is what I’m experiencing,” and so then you can say, “OK this is how we support.” and that can absolutely mean [telling the abuser], “You are not allowed on this premises. You are not allowed to call. We don’t care what you have to say.”

And if they continually, repeatedly do that, then you can have law enforcement involved. I’m not a huge fan of having law enforcement involved, but it is a step that we do sometimes have to take, because it’s a safety measure. If your staff is trained in domestic violence, they’ll recognize that this is a person who is an abuser, and they are using abusive tactics to destroy the reputation of the person that they’ve been victimizing. So what can I do about that? I can not answer their calls. I can let them know that these calls are unwarranted and if you keep calling, I’m going to get law enforcement involved. That may or may not scare them off but it’s still something that protects the staff and the person that is experiencing it, and the company as a whole.

FINDING THE COURAGE

Melody Gross reflects on her first year running Courageous Shift

BY RYAN PITKIN

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As a survivor of domestic violence herself, Melody Gross has long been an advocate for other people who have gone through what she’s experienced, especially Black women.

In early 2020, Gross took the logical next step and launched her company, Courageous Shifts, which takes a three-pronged approach to fighting back against domestic violence. Through the organization, Gross offers consulting services for employers to recognize when domestic violence is happening and support those experiencing it, and in the Courageous Shift Circle, she offers a space for the survivors themselves to help navigate their exit from an abusive situation.

Finally, in fall 2020, she partnered with local grassroots organization Sanctuary in the City to launch the Eva Lee Parker Fund, which helps Black women with immediate emergency funding needs as they flee abusive situations.

We caught up with Gross as she reached six months running the Eva Lee Parker Fund to discuss how Courageous Shift has helped her by helping others.

Queen City Nerve: Why launch Courageous Shift with this three-pronged approach?

Melody Gross: The reason I started Courageous Shift was because I felt like you can’t just solve one problem using one way. There are so many other ways to address a particular situation, and if my goal is to end domestic violence, so I had to take different approaches.

One is direct: working with survivors. The other one is working with the people who work with them, and also who love them, things like that, so that’s the consulting side.

And then the fund is immediate needs. We can talk about long-term stuff and that’s great and that’s awesome but we also need to focus on the immediate needs of, women in particular, but everyone who’s experiencing domestic violence.

MELODY GROSS PHOTO BY ALVIN C. JACOBS JR.

What does the workplace consulting aspect look like?

On the consulting side, I offer staff training around recognizing the signs of domestic violence, the resources available for companies as well as survivors, how to navigate that, situations of workplace violence, as well as how to support survivors too, and what that looks like.

Oftentimes when you have a situation of someone experiencing domestic violence, the workplace may not have policies in place to address that. Even if you’re a smaller company, you can still have a policy in place. It may not be as full and robust as a Fortune 500 company, but there’s still things that you can do, there’s still resources that you can use.

So the training, we talk about warning signs, what to say and what not to say is super important.

We talk about workplace security; are there

measures that you can take to ensure the safety of all staff? And then also talking about why it’s important to have these policies and programs in place because of the financial impact that it has on the companies.

Domestic violence costs companies billions of dollars a year, $8.3 billion per year, and that’s because of health-care costs, security costs, hiring someone if you fire someone who is experiencing domestic violence — it costs more to retrain someone and rehire someone. So by addressing it and having policies and steps in place you reduce that financial risk as well as a company.

That also manifests un abusers trying to call manipulate a survivors’ coworkers.

That is definitely a big thing, with abusers who will absolutely reach out to companies and the places where people work. That happened to me; he

You launched the support group amid the pandemic. How has that been working out?

During COVID, the effect has been twofold.

At some points there’s been an increase in calls needing support, and there’s also been a decrease too, because people are too scared to actually ask for help.

I worked with Sanctuary in the City, which is a local nonprofit out here, a grassroots organization, and I said, “Well I want to try to do some programming around helping with survivors.” We decided on the Circle, which is an opportunity for any Black woman or femme who’s experiencing any form of domestic violence — I want to make that clear, any form of domestic violence beyond just the physical — to come in and really just hold space for them, because you’re still just beginning to navigate the life as people experiencing abuse.

That shows up in many different ways. So the Courageous Survivor Circle is an opportunity to gather together, to hold space, to process emotions and feelings, things like that which we can’t often do with someone who does not understand where we came from or what we’ve experienced.

Even pre-pandemic, you had spoken a lot about how cultural norms make it hard for people to report, whether it’s due to the stigmatic aspect in society or that someone

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

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has been taught that what happens in the home stays there. How does Courageous Shift play a role in pushing back against that?

That’s the thing, we have to build spaces where people feel comfortable with seeking help. To be clear, I don’t just mean for the people who are experiencing it, I also mean for the people who are perpetrating it. We can absolutely help survivors and victims and get them to safety and get them the emotional support, but we also need to have programs and systems in place so that people can say, I am out of control and I feel like I am going to harm someone. I need help.

So when we remove the stigma around domestic violence and around abuse and we understand the different forms that it comes in — because it’s not just physical, it’s emotional, it’s financial, it’s spiritual, it’s reproductive health, there’s reproductive abuse, as well — when we have programs and systems in place to help everyone involved, then we can see some changes. Then we can see some shifts.

How did your own experience inspire the launch of the fund?

Two things happened: The Eva Lee Parker Fund is named after my paternal grandmother, who was also a survivor of domestic violence, and when I think of that experience of her being a young wife with four children in the ’60s and ’70s trying to navigate abuse by the sole breadwinner, there was no way out. While she was relatively educated in terms of she had a high school degree, who is going to help and take on and support a Black woman with four children? It was just not going to happen.

I know in my spirit that one of the reasons she did not leave was because of financial abuse; he controlled the money that came into the home.

My experience with that was a little different.

The person that I was with, they didn’t contribute evenly, they didn’t keep a job all the time, there was financial abuse in terms of not paying bills, not keeping employment.

And then something that people don’t think about is, luckily I worked a salary job, because if I worked an hourly job, the stress of dealing with the abuse and sometimes having to call out sick, because there were absolutely times that I had to call out sick, and not because I was physically sick but because I was emotionally drained. That’s another form of emotional abuse: stopping the victim from earning a living.

The other thing was, there was an instance

where he broke into my home and broke my window. Yes, I can go to my landlord and say, “Hey, he was abusing me and he broke the window, and they’re going to say, “Oh ok, so that will be $270,” and I work part time and am a single parent, and I just did not have the funds for that.

I made a way thankfully, but that isn’t the case often; you don’t necessarily have the funds to pay for things. I’ve gotten a lot of requests for locks on doors being changed or broken windows or broken doors or other things. While you may have renters insurance, that’s not necessarily covered, and you need to fix it immediately.

So things like that are why I created the fund, because in an emergency, immediate needs come up.

How else does your lived experience help you to help others?

A lot of it has to do with the emotional aspect after you leave. I talk a lot about life after abuse, because you can be safe afterwards, you can be physically safe, but emotional aspects come up.

Even now sometimes, I’m years out, however, if I do something in the news, if I have an interview like this, especially if it’s a visual, on-TV thing, I’m cautious for the next week or two after that. I’m looking behind me and making sure that I’m not taking the same route.

There’s so much stuff that comes up afterwards that we don’t think about. Navigating relationships after abuse, and not just intimate relationships, but relationships with other people. I’ve lost friendships because there’s a lot of victim blaming, and that happens.

And so for me, I really hone in on the life after abuse and the emotional wellness around it, because that is such a huge factor. We have to address what happened to us, so I absolutely encourage people to go to therapy.

You are retraining your brain to feel like something that someone told you was absolutely wrong, and that takes a lot of work. That takes a lot of self-thought, it takes a lot of patience for yourself to say, “I know I experienced this, and this person was wrong.” The person that I dealt with absolutely told me that no one would love me, my parents didn’t love me, things like that.

You have to constantly reframe those things in your mind. If you’re trying to do that alone, it’s harder, but if you’re doing it with someone, which is why I became a life coach, because I felt like that extra support is very much needed.

Are you still helped by the support group despite being years out yourself?

Absolutely. The more I’m able to help others, the more I’m able to help myself. There’s still things that come up, but I have the tools now to support myself emotionally, mentally, spiritually, even physically.

The saying goes, As I heal myself I heal others, and I keep that in mind, so the more I’m able to help other women heal the more I’m able to heal myself.

I love that it’s getting out there, but it also makes me sad that there are so many women, Black women in particular, who are in need. They need to get out of these situations, and they need that support.

It’s been two-fold. It’s been this moment of, I’m glad I can provide these funds, but also, we need more. More, more, more. Until we can put systems in place so that Black women or anyone in particular is not experiencing domestic violence and intimatepartner violence, there will be a need. And I don’t This work has brought you face to face with a want to be needed, to be clear, I don’t want to be reality of what must feel like an overwhelming needed. I want this to end. need in the community. What’s that like for you?

On one side it’s been super rewarding to be How do you grapple with the neverending able to offer immediate support to someone who nature of this work?

For me, I definitely take it one step at a time. honestly is in danger. That’s been great. What has not been great, or is challenging or heart-wrenching If I can help one person get to safety or even sometimes, is not being able to give the full amount acknowledge that they’re experiencing abuse, one that they need, because we want to make sure that person, I’m fine with that. That is a wave effect; we’re able to disperse enough funds for everyone. So I’m helping them and if they have children, then those children are helped. Their friends are helped, that’s the challenge.

Here’s the thing: We are based in Charlotte and because their friends know how to deal with them I’ve only ever done press for this in Charlotte, and and talk to them and help.

So for me it’s like, OK, I can’t save the world but I can yet I am getting requests from across the country.

I’ve gotten requests in Maryland, in Mississippi, in save the world but I can save those who come to me.

Georgia, and just so many random places and I’m RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM just like, “How is this even possible?”

Connect with free virtual arts, science, and history experiences for all ages.

CULTURE

BLOCKS

Find upcoming events at ArtsAndScience.org/CultureBlocks

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Back to business

Around this time last year, Charlotte’s food, art and music scenes were in line to take a huge hit. Some found ways to pivot their events into a virtual experience while others weren’t so lucky, as Charlotte began to come to terms with “the new normal.” As of mid-May, music venues, sporting events, restaurants and bars were able to function at full capacity and the mask mandate was no longer a requirement, but a suggestion for the people who haven’t been vaccinated yet.

Though everything is not entirely back to normal, with more folks getting vaccinated, we’re getting pretty close. It’ll probably take some time to get used to being elbow-to-elbow with strangers at a bar or concert, but as long as we stay cautious and look out for each other, Charlotte’s got a great summer to look forward to. Cue the packed patios, crushing beers at the pool and, finally, the return of live music after a year of virtual shows and livestreams.

The Fillmore This past year without live music had us nostalgic for the most mundane and troubling aspects of being in a music venue — like waiting in line to use a bathroom with no toilet paper and a barely working sink or paying $6 for a PBR. What was once the subject of complaints is the familiarity many Charlotte musicians and concert-goers are yearning for. Live music is finally back. Virtual shows were fine for a time but we’re ready to get back out there, and performers are too.

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Neighborhood Theatre

511 E. 36th St.; neighborhoodtheatre.com; 704-942-7997 June 30: Emily Sage July 10: Greyson Chance July 19: Jimbo Mathus and the Dial Back Sound August 5: Boys of Summer Tour - Summer Edition August 13: New Potato Caboose September 12: Reckless Kelly with Will Hoge September 21: Jon McLaughlin w/ Striking Matches

The Evening Muse

3227 N. Davidson St.; eveningmuse.com; 704-376-3737 June 25: Brit Drozda June 25: Three Star Revival and Deaf Andrews June 26: Colleen Orender July 8: George Banda

July 10: Mike Farris July 17: Kevin Daniel & The Bottom Line July 21: Justin Wells with Adam Lee July 22: Nathan Angelo July 23: Temple Underground July 24: The Cancellations and Thirsty Curses July 29: JoDavi Album Release July 30: Sam Lewis August 5: Grizzly Goat August 6: Steel Blossoms August 12: The Lucky Losers August 13: Clem Snide August 14: Carolina Story August 31: Jake Blount September 10: Lyn Avenue

Visulite Theatre

1615 Elizabeth Ave.; visulite.com; 704-358-9200 June 4: Cosmic Charlie July 9: Unspoken Tradition & Aaron Burdett June 12: Abbey Road Live! - Beatles Tribute June 26: Flamingo Review presents Rising July 16: Freebird - Lynyrd Skynyrd Tribute July 23: Siamese Dream & Glide July 24: HEY JOHNNY PARK (Foo Fighters Tribute) August 14: Josh Daniel August 28: Harvest Moon - Neil Young Tribute September 9: Town Mountain September 23: Son Volt

820 Hamilton Street; fillmorenc.com July 16: Rumors - Fleetwood Mac Tribute July 18: Pooh Shiesty September 9: Theory of a Deadman

The Underground

820 Hamilton Street; fillmorenc.com June 18: ATLiens July 2: Ja Rule July 21: Palaye Royale: The Bastards Tour July 24: Lucii August 12: The Steel Woods September 9: George Watsky

PNC Music Pavilion

707 Pavilion Boulevard; DAVE MATTHEWS BAND PLAYS PNC ON JULY 24. livenation.com June 19: Halsey September 10: The Black Crowes June 29: Chicago September 13: Judas Priest July 17: Megadeth and Lamb of God September 17: Maroon 5 July 24: Dave Matthews Band September 18: Dierks Bentley August 10: Kings of Leon September 19: Willie Nelson presents Outlaw Music August 12: Chris Stapleton Festival featuring Chris Stapleton, Sturgill Simpson, August 20: Jason Aldean The Avett Brothers, Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night August 21: Alanis Morissette w/ Garbage and Liz Sweats, Margo Price and more.

Phair

Charlotte Metro Credit Union Amphitheatre

1000 NC Music Factory Boulevard; livenation.com July 17: Jamey Johnson July 20: Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats August 4: Rise Against August 5: Louis the Child August 15: Blackberry Smoke August 26: Brothers Osborne August 27: My Morning Jacket September 4: Glass Animals

Bojangles Coliseum

Booth Playhouse

130 N. Tryon St., blumenthalarts.org July 31: Aoife O’Donovan September 1: Meshell Ndegeocello

Stage Door Theater

155 N. College St., blumenthalarts.org July 23: Mike Ramsey & The 5 Ensemble

Knight Theater

430 S. Tryon St., blumenthalarts.org July 16: Boney James August 27: The Righteous Brothers

2700 E. Independence Blvd.; boplex.com August 21: Three 6 Mafia, No Limit Soldiers, and Bone Thugs-N-Harmony August 27: Fonseca & Cepeda

WICKED ARRIVES AT OVENS AUDITORIUM ON PHOTO COURTESY OF BLUMENTHAL ARTS

U.S. National Whitewater Center

5000 Whitewater Center Pkwy.; whitewater.org The U.S. Whitewater Center’s River Jam takes place in an outdoor stage every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night at 6:30 p.m. running from May to September.

Other activities include yoga, open-water swims on Thursday, and rafting down the rapids. Food and drinks at various USNWC locations are also available, and admission is free.

Bank of America Stadium

800 S. Mint St.; panthers.com/stadium June 28: Def Leppard, Motley Crue, Poison, and Joan Jett & the Blackhearts

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McGlohon Theater

130 N. Tryon St., blumenthalarts.org July 23: Keiko Matsui August 14: The Spongetones 40th Anniversary Reboot August 19: Colin Hay September 4: Todd Snider

Belk Theater

130 N. Tryon St., blumenthalarts.org July 9: The Fab Four - Beatles Tribute July 10: Tosco Music Beatles Tribute August 20: Village People

Knight Theater

430 S. Tryon St., blumenthalarts.org July 17: Leanne Morgan Bringing southern charm and a scathing wit, Leanne Morgan’s Big Pan Party Comedy Tour is stopping by Charlotte this July.

More: $32 and up; July 17, 7 p.m.

McGlohon Theater

Booth Playhouse

September 11-12: The Chris and Paul Show Comedy duo Chris and Paul are bringing the laughs to Charlotte on what will be a dark 20th anniversary otherwise.

More: $20 and up; September 11-12, Time TBD

Stage Door Theater

345 N. College St., blumenthalarts.org September 9: Bob the Drag Queen The Ru Paul’s Drag Race winner and comedy queen is coming to Charlotte, and bringing her talents with her.

More: $24.50 and up; Sept. 9, 7:30 p.m.

September 7: Colin Mochrie’s Hyprov From the minds of improv comedy legend Colin Belk Theater Mochrie and master hypnotist Asad Mecci comes a mind-blowing, jaw-dropping, side-splitting show. 130 N. Tryon St., blumenthalarts.org September 16 - 19: Opera Carolina’s I Dream More: $24.50 and up; Sept. 7, 7:30 p.m.

Opera Carolina starts its 2021-2022 season with I Dream, a story of how two men changed the Civil September 11: Nikki Glaser One of the top comedians in the country visits the Rights Movement.

More: $22 and up; September 16-19, times vary Queen City for a night of laughs.

More: $24.50 and up; Sept. 11, 7 p.m.

Knight Gallery at Spirit Square

345 N. College St., blumenthalarts.org June 18/August 20: SlamCharlotte Poetry Slam Charlotte’s monthly Poetry Slam event is hosted by SlamCharlotte, whose goal is to build a stronger community between poets and the community though spoken word.

More: Free; June 18 & Aug. 20, 8 p.m.

Ovens Auditorium

2700 E. Independence Blvd., boplex.com September 8: Wicked The iconic Broadway musical is coming back to Charlotte, and brings back the story of Oz before Dorthy payed a visit.

Price TBD; Sept. 8-Oct. 3, times vary

130 N. Tyron St., blumenthalarts.org August 19-September 12: Charlotte Squawks 16: Going Viral!

The SNL-meets-Broadway cast of Charlotte performers is back and ready to tackle politics, sports, and pop culture in the Queen City.

More: $24.50 and up; Aug. 19-Sept. 12, dates and times vary

155 N. College St., blumenthalarts.org July 10: House Full of Secrets From William Alexander, a new play about a family confronting earth-shattering secrets.

More: $20; July 10, 7 p.m.

Duke Energy Theater

345 N. College St., blumenthalarts.org July 3: The Awakening A gospel, rap and prophesy concert.

More: $10; July 3, 8:00; Duke Energy Theater August 11-22: Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom The riveting story of music and race, August Wilson’s play is not one to be missed.

More: $28; Aug. 11-22, dates and times vary Presented by

All Around Town

May-July: Sistine Chapel Exhibit Instead of going to Rome to see the ceiling’s frescoes 44 feet away from the Sistine Chapel floor below, patrons can see them up close. The paintings cemented Michelangelo’s reputation, but the sculptor never wanted the job in the first place, and insisted he was wrong for the task. In the 1560s Pope Pius IV had the genitals of the artist’s nudes figures painted over, but modern restorers stripped away the fig leaves.

More: $13-$19.50; ongoing through July 31; Savona Mill, 401 S. Gardner Ave., chapelsistine.com June 5: Carolina Thread Trails National Trails Day Celebrated every year on the first Saturday of June, the Carolina Thread Trails celebrate National Trails Day with vendors and a series of outdoor activities.

A great way to kick off the summer, the nationwide events are used to promote and celebrate the importance of trails to communities.

More: Free; June 5; Catawba Riverfront Greenway and Tuckaseege Park, 165 Broome St., Mount Holly; carolinathreadtrail.org/ntd June 7-12: African American Heritage Festival Combining virtual and in-person events, the Charlotte Museum of History explores dance, visual art, and the history of African-American people that have lived in Charlotte throughout all of its existence. Tickets are limited to uphold social distancing and must be held in advance.

More: Free; June 7-12; Charlotte Museum of History, 3500 Shamrock Drive; charlottemuseum.org

June 16-20: Charlotte Black Film Festival Celebrating African-American voices in film as well as independent filmmakers, the Charlotte Black Film Festival is going on its 11th year of uplifting those voices. Going virtual this year, the film festival boasts student films, feature-length films, short films, and documentaries in its line-up.

More: Sold out; June 16 -20, times vary; online; charlotteblackfilmfestival.com June 17-September 25: Van Gogh Immersive The art of the impressionist master Van Gogh is coming to Camp North End June 17th. With more than 5,000 feet of projections animating the art of Van Gogh, visitors are invited to fully immerse themselves in the paintings.

More: $25-$40; June 17-September 25; Ford Building, Camp North End, 400 Camp Road; immersivevangogh.com

June 19: Belmont Juneteenth Celebration The neighborhood of Belmont is celebrating Juneteenth with a parade, vendors, and a virtual 2k walk. With the mission to cultivate cultural awareness, acceptance, and preservation through artistic and cultural events, the Belmont Juneteenth Celebration is celebrating its 5th year of serving the community.

More: Free; June 19; Downtown Belmont; tinyurl.com/BelmontJuneteenth

June 19: Durag Fest Deconstructing the misconceptions and biases about the iconic item that is the durag, The Durag Fest will bring together the community with live music, June 17-20: Juneteenth of the Carolinas food trucks, screen printing, and more during The Juneteenth of the Carolina’s celebration was this Juneteenth celebration. With locations at the started to celebrate the ending of slavery in the US Nascar Hall of Fame, Camp North End, and Victoria and share the history of that time while providing Yards, the event is city-wide. a connection between history and the future.

More: Free; June 19; locations vary; Juneteenth of the Carolinas is entering its 24th year duragfestival.com of celebration, including a peaceful march for Black lives at Marshall park on June 19th.

June 27/July 25/August 29: Party in the Park More: Free; June 17-20; Plaza Midwood; Spend the last Sunday of each month in the park juneteenthofthecarolinas.com at the Mint Museum Randolph and enjoy the food and art Charlotte has to offer. Free admission to the museum, food trucks, and a cash bar are all available for the outdoor event.

More: Free; June 27, July 25, and Aug. 29; Mint Museum-Randolph, 2730 Randolph Road; mintmuseum.org

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September 3-6: Matthews Alive The annual Labor Day festival returns with rides, shag dancing, live music, lots of eats and more.

More: Attendance free, some rides and games require tickets; Sept 3-6, times vary; matthewsalive.org September 5-8: Yiasou Greek Festival The Yiasou Greek Festival is back after it’s cancellation in 2020, featuring authentic Greek food, music, art and dancing. It is the time of year that anyone can be Greek.

More: $3; Sept. 5 - 8; Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Cathedral ; 600 East Blvd.; Sept. 5-8, times vary; yiasoufestival.org

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ENJOYING TASTE OF CHARLOTTE

September 17: SHOUT! Festival Featuring large-scale installations throughout Uptown, SHOUT! festival highlights the diversity of art in Charlotte, and brings together all the city has to offer in one festival. From food, to dance, to music, to art, SHOUT! weaves the talents of the city into one event.

More: Free; Sept. 17th-Oct. 3; Center City Charlotte; cltshout.com

June 5: Seltzer World Festival We’re pretty sure this might be the only time in history where one can find themselves surrounded by 75 different kinds of hard seltzers. The festival features seltzers made around the country along with Charlotte’s own Brizo from NoDa Brewing, D9’s seltzer, Bubs from Sycamore Brewery and more.

Enjoy live music, food and games while crushing refreshing seltzers.

More: $35-$50; noon; Summit Seltzer, 2215 Thrift Road, Suite B; tinyurl.com/SeltzerFest June 11-13: Taste of Charlotte Festival Hundreds of Charlotte restaurants serving a variety of different cuisines will line up along Tryon Street between Stonewall and 5th streets selling samples of food, wine and beer.

More: Free; Friday 4 p.m., Saturday & Sunday, 11 a.m.; Tryon Street between Stonewall to 5th Street; tasteofcharlotte.com June 20: MAKRS Fest The MAKRS Society hosts a monthly pop-up featuring a rotating selection of 25+ local makers.

More: Free; 1 p.m.; Lenny Boy Brewing Co., 3000 S. Tryon St.; discoverlennyboy.com June 26: Ballantyne Wine Festival If the closest vineyard seems like an unlikely destination, keep it in the neighborhood with samples of wine from local, regional and national vineyards.

More: $30-45; 2 p.m.; Blackfinn Ameripub, 14825 Ballantyne Village Way #100; tinyurl.com/BallantyneWine

Presented by

Monthly: Nebels Alley Night Market This monthly event features more than 30 handmade arts, crafts, and food vendors, live music, free caricatures, and lantern-lit walkways, in addition to a few surprises.

More: Free; 4 p.m.; June 19, July 17, Aug. 21, Sept. 18, 3-9 p.m.; The Design Center, 101 W. Worthington Ave.; tinyurl.com/NebelsAlley Monthly: Front Porch Sundays From the same team behind the Nebels Alley market, another monthly chance for open-air shopping, tasting and entertainment in South End. More: Free; June 6, July 4, August 1, September 5, 11 a.m.; Sycamore Brewing. 2161 Hawkins St.; tinyurl.com/FrontPorchSundays

Emmy Squared Pizza Plaza Midwood It’s in the name. Fluffy in the center and crisp edges, Emmy’s square NY-style pizza –– the kicker? This pizza joint actually originated in New York.

Broken Promises South End Unlike its sister concept Lost & Found, Broken Promise will be more of an intimate cocktail bar. The owners described it as the place you go to before the party.

Ace No. 3 Myers Park The Belmont burger joint is opening its second and third locations, one in July 24: Beer, Bourbon & BBQ Festival Variety is the spice of life, especially when that the Myers Park area and the other in means a range of beer, bourbon, barbecue, biscuits, Concord. bluegrass, and “smoked beasts.” Experience over 60 beers, 40 bourbons and enough barbecue to feed Brewery Openings all of Charlotte.

Burial Beer Co. More: $29-$75; July 24, 2 p.m.; Bank of America Plaza Midwood Stadium, 800 S. Mint St; beerandbourbon.com Asheville-based Burial Beer Co. makes August 5-7: Joedance Film Festival This 12-year-old findraising benefit for Levine Children’s Hospital will remain virtual as a safety precaution, so you can check out some good flicks while supporting from your couch.

More: $30; Aug. 5-7, times vary; online; joedance.org

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Restaurant Openings

Babe & Butcher Camp North End When Babe & Butcher opens in Camp North End this summer, expect build-yourown charcuterie boards of as much meat, cheese, fruits and jams as your hearts desire.

BOCADO Bar + Diner South End, Atheron Mill This Atlanta-based sushi joint will be moving into the Atherton Mill space that now holds Big Ben British Restaurant & Pub.

the team comes home to the Queen City.

Sportsplex at Matthews 2425 Sports Parkway, Matthews; charlotteindepence.com *all games start at 7 p.m.

June 5: Tampa Bay Rowdies

June 15-20 vs. Jacksonville June 29-July 6 vs. Norfolk July 13-18 vs. Gwinnett July 27-August 1 vs. Jacksonville August 17-22 vs. Norfolk August 24-29 vs. Durham September 14-19 vs. Durham

TRUIST FIELD IS BACK AT FULL CAPACITY. PHOTO BY LAURA WOLFF

its Charlotte debut this summer. The latest spot is Carolina Panthers set to take over Boris & Natasha’s former location Bank of America Stadium, 800 S. Mint St.; in Plaza Midwood. Expect a 2,600-square-foot panthers.com taproom and bottle shop along with a rooftop patio Preseason and outdoor space for a beer garden.

August 21: vs. Baltimore Ravens August 27: vs. Pittsburgh Steelers Regular season September 12: vs. New York Jets September 19: vs. New Orleans Saints

Also at Bank of America Stadium

CHARLOTTE KNIGHTS

Truist Field, 324 S. Mint St.; milb.com/charlotte-knights Be sure to check out the website for promotional nights ranging from Bark in the Park to playing catch on the game before the game. Per usual, Friday nights at home are always wrapped up with a firework display.

September 2: Duke’s Mayo Classic; Appalachian State vs. East Carolina September 4: Duke’s Mayo Classic; Clemson vs.

Georgia

CHARLOTTE INDEPENDENCE

After three games in Matthews, where the Independence have been playing while Memorial Stadium has been undergoing a complete rebuild,

June 13: Hartford Athletic June 23: Charleston Battery Independence Moves to American Legion Memorial Stadium 310 N. Kings Drive July 7: New York Red Bulls II July 10: Phoenix Rising FC July 31: Tampa Bay Rowdies August 14: Pittsburgh Riverhounds SC August 21: Colorado Springs Switchbacks September 4: Miami FC September 11: Hartford Athletic September 18: Pittsburgh Riverhounds SC September 22: The Miami FC

Charlotte Motor Speedway

5555 Concord Pkwy. S, charlottemotorspeedway.com June 6: Xtreme World Wrestling Presents MegaMayhem Live Xtream Warfare; $15 and up July 17-18: Carolina Sizzler; $15 and up August 14: Circle K Monster Truck Bash September 17-19: NHRA CAROLINA NATIONALS

ARTS FEATURE

GET REAL

Andrew Leventis highlights photorealism talent with Refrigerator series

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BY CECILIA WHALEN

When the pandemic started, Andrew Leventis had one refrigerator; now he has four. By the end of the year, he hopes to have ten.

This may sound gluttonous, but actually the fridges won’t be accumulating any more food than what was in his first one. Leventis, a local artist and professor at UNC Charlotte, has been working on a series of larger-than-life-sized paintings for the past year that depict the insides of refrigerators and freezers. The series, titled Refrigerators (Vanitas), is a collection of extraordinarily realistic oil paintings that show pandemic nutritional necessities like frozen chicken teriyaki, Wonder Bread, and lots of Corona (the beer, not the virus).

“It’s something I never thought in a million years I would paint,” Leventis said. When previously scheduled artistic plans were canceled due to the pandemic, he began looking around the house for inspiration. “One day, I opened up the fridge, and the lighting was just perfect,” he said. He snapped a picture on his iPhone and began to paint.

Leventis is a still-life painter whose works have been featured in galleries domestically from California to New York City and internationally from Italy to the Netherlands. He has also had a number of exhibitions in the U.K., where he received a Master of Fine Arts from Goldsmiths College of the University of London. In fact, two of his fridge paintings were shortlisted for this year’s Aesthetica Art Prize, a prestigious award offered by the U.K.-based Aesthetica Magazine. The paintings are currently featured in the York Art Gallery.

A Charlotte native who graduated from Charlotte Christian School, Leventis grew up around art and paintings. His maternal grandmother painted, and his mother was also artistic. According to Leventis,

his mother regretted never having pursued art professionally, and so encouraged her son to explore and pursue the arts seriously.

“She always had crayons out for me to color with, pencils out for me to draw with, and encouraged me to watch those public access network shows on PBS back in the day where you could paint along with the artist,” Leventis said.

When Leventis was 10 years old, his father took him to visit his aunt, who lives near Seattle as a working artist.

“She had this gorgeous, two-story artist studio.

anymore: “I guess I kind of got burnt out on it.”).

After his master’s program in London, Leventis succeeded in establishing himself as a gallery artist – he began to have work featured in galleries in London pretty consistently – but he wanted to pursue a teaching career, as well. This, matched with a desire to be closer to family, brought him back home and to UNC Charlotte, where he has been an assistant professor since 2016.

Leventis used to have studio space in Plaza Midwood, but today his dining room doubles as a classroom and art studio. Though he prefers for his

“FREEZER BOX” FROM ANDREW LEVENTIS’ REFRIGERATORS (VANITAS) ARTWORK BY ANDREW LEVENTIS

It was kind of this dream art studio.”

His aunt would let him play around with her paints, which were mainly watercolor and acrylic, though she also had some oil paints, to which Leventis was immediately drawn, particularly because “all the public access artists used oil.” Oil paints would remain his medium of choice, and his aunt would remain an important influence.

Leventis continued working at his art through high school and became an undergraduate at the American Academy of Art in Chicago. While there, he often painted portraits, which helped him develop his interest in realism. (He rarely paints people

works to be complete before opening up to viewers and critics, he said being homebound with his partner, UNC Charlotte professor of Art History Jim Frakes, has really contributed to his projects.

“We’ve had a lot of really interesting conversations that have helped the work,” Leventis said.

One thing about living with an art historian, Leventis mentioned, is that it often puts his own work in historical perspective. For the Refrigerator series, for example, he references “vanitas,” a genre of still-life paintings that emerged in the 16th and 17th centuries to symbolize the transience of life

and the inevitability of death. Leventis thinks of his series as a contemporary vanitas, particularly relevant during the pandemic because of the ubiquity of death, as well as the obsession with getting and storing objects and food. “[Vanitas reminds us] that everything we have is here today, gone tomorrow,” Leventis said.

“Everything is fleeting.”

Vanitas warns of the vanity human beings can fall into when thinking of themselves in immortal terms, often brought about by materialism. Materialism and its expression today obviously differ greatly from that of the early vanitas painters by whom Leventis is influenced. In particular, photography is incredibly accessible and omnipresent. Whereas the only way to see a two-dimensional color reproduction of an apple in the 16th century would be to paint it, today anyone can snap a picture of anything and share it everywhere in seconds.

Leventis uses photography as a tool for reference, but preceding the sharing of his images are months of labor. His paintings take days to dry. Leventis works in layers, and for the fridge paintings, which are each one-and-ahalf to two times the size of an actual fridge, a completed painting takes about a month. The question could be raised then, why take so much time to paint a realistic picture of your fridge, when you already had the picture? Is still-life painting obsolete in 2021?

“It’s a really good question,”Leventis said. “For one, there’s a historical value because whenever you’re painting, you’re having a conversation with the paintings that came in the past. It’s a really human impulse to paint and draw.”

In fact, the prevalence of photography today may just make painting even more important.

“Painting in general is a really a valuable thing because by its very nature it gets us out of this quick media impulse,” Leventis said. “[On social media] you can be fire-hosed with all these rapid images, if you’re not careful about what you’re looking at.

Painting is a good opportunity to slow down, to think about the stroke and think about the mark you’re making.”

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

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ONGOING GODSPELL

It’s gospel in the park. The early ’70s produced two stage productions based on the new testament, Jesus Christ Superstar and Godspell. Of the two, Godspell diverges furthest from its source material, the Gospel of Matthew — a good fit for an outdoor performance from Matthews Playhouse. The actors portray non-biblical characters, and the plot is structured as a series of parables. With lyrics drawn from traditional hymns and an eclectic score drawing from show tunes, rock and pop, the show is arguably catchier than Jesus Christ Superstar. The song “Day by Day” reached #13 in the Billboard pop charts.

More: $10; June 4–13, 7:30 p.m., Stumptown Park, 120 South Trade St., Matthews; matthewsplayhouse.com AJ WHITE (GODSPELL)

CON CAROLINAS

ONGOING

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After Ahmaud Arbery was shot to death by white supremacists while jogging, photojournalist E. Mackey turned to the tools of his trade to affect change — his camera, his talent, and his social platform. The resulting exhibit, Choose Your Weapon, documents the Black Lives Matter movement and strives to inspire everyone to identify the tools at their disposal to fight for equity. Mackey’s presentation is the centerpiece of the first Art After Dark celebration in two years, which honors Black Music Month with art workshops, discussions, live music, and more.

More: Free; June 4, 6 p.m.; Gantt Center for African American Arts + Culture, 551 S. Tryon St.; ganttcenter.org

Cosplay, gaming and geekery return with Charlotte’s first post-COVID con. Featured guests include alien actor and man of a thousand faces Bill Blair (Westworld, Tales of Frankenstein); bestselling, cross-genre novelist Quincy J. Allen (Chemical Burn); science/tech speaker and paranormal romance writer Jeanne Adams; Menopausal Superheroes series scribe Samantha Bryant and more. Panel discussions topics range from “Filmmaking in a Pandemic” to Bram Stoker descendant Dacre Stoker’s search for the real Castle Dracula.

More: $40; June 4–6, times vary; Hilton Charlotte University Place, 8629 JM Keynes Drive; concarolinas.org

ART AFTER DARK

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AMY BAGWELL (SILENT STREETS OPENING CEREMONY)

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CON CAROLINAS

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Mint Museum Uptown is hosting an outdoor shindig to celebrate a new exhibition coming in June. Artists Amy Bagwell, Stacy Lynn Waddell, and Antoine Williams will lead a panel discussion, and indierock band Junior Astronomers have sets planned for 3 and 5 p.m. Food trucks will pull up outside and will join Reid’s Fine Foods and Fin & Fino’s outdoor dining setup. Bring your family, your kids, your dog, whatever you got and hit the streets for an outdoor, COVID-conscious, not-so-silent gathering.

More: Free; June 5, 12 p.m.; Mint Museum Uptown, 500 S. Tryon St.; mintmuseum.org

The annual American Hiking Society’s National Trails Day kicks off the summer with the country’s largest celebration of trails featuring a series of outdoor activities designed to promote and celebrate the importance of trails to our communities. The local event, co-hosted with the city of Mount Holly, takes place on segments of the Thread Trail on land and water. Festivities include artisans, vendors, live music, kayak rentals, bike tours, guided walks, food trucks and a farmers market.

More: Free; June 5, 10 a.m.; Catawba Riverfront Greenway and Tuckaseegee Park; 165 Broome St., Mt. Holly; carolinathreadtrail.org/ntd

SILENT STREETS OPENING CEREMONY

NATIONAL TRAILS DAY CELEBRATION

NATIONAL TRAILS DAY CELEBRATION

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Much like her Muddy Turtle Talks events, which share the stories of west Charlotte’s Enderly Park residents who often go unrepresented in media, Hannah Hasan’s Stories of Home also draws stories from Charlotteans, but there the similarities end. In a story slam format, Charlotte youth and adult leaders perform their own true tales centering on themes of home and belonging, with hopes that through storytelling they can bridge the generational gap.

More: Free; June 11, 7 p.m.; The Square at Spirit Square, 345 N. College St.; blumenthalarts.org

VisArt Video presents an outdoor screening of Big Top Pee-wee on the wall of Tommy’s Pub. This 1988 sequel to Pee-wee’s Big Adventure, the 1985 film that launched Tim Burton’s career, Paul Reuben’s wideeyed childlike character and the surreal Saturday morning show Pee-wee’s Playhouse, has big shoes to fill. Happily, the sequel is every bit as guileless, cheerful and magical as its predecessor, featuring trees that grow hotdogs, and a storm-blown circus that shows up at Pee-wee’s door.

More: $5; June 11, 7 p.m.; Tommy’s Pub, 3124 Eastway Dr. Ste. 710; facebook.com/visartvideo

taste is due to chemical compounds, like sodium bicarbonate, while most seltzer is simply carbonated water. That is unless it’s at The Seltzer World Festival hosted at Summit Seltzer, Charlotte’s (and the East Coast’s) first seltzery. The venue is a hard-seltzer taproom, which means the festival’s two scheduled tastings will include alcoholic, or spiked, seltzers made with real fruit, as well as local craft beer, wine and traditional non-alcoholic seltzer.

More: $35-$50; June 12, 12 p.m.; Summit Seltzer, 2215 Thrift Road, Ste. B.; tinyurl.com/SeltzerFest

grassroots art scene in Charlotte with their new exhibit It Takes a Village, featuring Charlotte artists from a range of different demographics and mediums. Highlighting contemporary art from around the Charlotte metro area, the exhibit opening will allow visitors to grab a bite to eat and enjoy live DJ sets as members of BLKMRKTCLT, Goodyear Arts, and Brand the Moth host a discussion later in the afternoon.

More: Free; June 12, Noon, Mint Museum Randolph, 2730 Randolph Road; mintmuseum.org

STORIES FROM HOME WITH HANNAH VISART VIDEO PRESENTS MOVIES ON SELTZER WORLD FESTIVAL IT TAKES A VILLAGE OPENING Mint Museum Randolph is celebrating the vibrant, Fun Fact: Seltzer is not club soda.

Club soda’s mineral HASAN THE WALL

IT TAKES A VILLAGE OPENING

PHOTO BY: JAMEL SHABAZZ

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OPEN AIR: JAMEL SHABAZZ

Photographer Jamal Shabazz is best known for his iconic images of New York City during the 1980s documenting the emerging hip-hop culture. As a Brooklyn insider, Shabazz gained full access and captured city’s street life and burgeoning scene unfiltered. Curator Dexter Wimberly, who has organized exhibitions and programming in galleries and institutions around the world, will lead this Open Air conversation, which explores Shabazz’s passion and perspective on building community through photography.

More: Free; June 15, 7 p.m.; Gantt Center for African American Arts + Culture; 551 S. Tryon St.; ganttcenter.org

HANNAH HASAN

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MUSIC FEATURE

IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT

Natalie Carr charts a course for success on her own terms

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BY PAT MORAN

During an especially hectic couple of days in May, Natalie Carr nearly drowned on one afternoon, then lived to pull herself from a burning car on the next. She had a blast.

The two near-deadly doppelganger encounters were scenes in a yet-to-be-released music video for the singer-songwriter’s sixth single, “Fate.” The video, Carr’s third, marks her most lavish visual production to date.

“I’ve never had an experience like this in my life,” Carr says, praising her creative team, the video production company Caravan and its crew.

“I’m so humbled.”

Spun off by the lyric, “Fate hasn’t killed me yet / I’m still holding my breath,” which popped into Carr’s head as she was driving, the R&B-tinged groove sets Carr apart from the pack of young pop singers by her thoughtful — and thoughtprovoking — lyrics delivered with just the right amount of gravel in her lush and soothing vocals.

“I don’t remember what [the lyric] meant at the time. I just liked it,” Carr recalls of the hook.

But once the song was fully developed, the meaning became crystal clear. “[It’s about] confronting shame, living your truth, and not hating yourself for your past,” Carr offers. The accompanying video follows suit, depicting Carr visiting her younger self just as “past Natalie” is on the cusp of several bad personal decisions.

The song, released in April, exemplifies Carr’s songwriting style, which can be heard in person when Carr performs at Neighborhood Theatre on June 9. Synths shimmer over mid-tempo rhythms as Carr’s lush vocals sooth and caress, but a close listen to the lyrics reveal vulnerability and yearning, plus a determination to embrace life’s hard-won lessons. It’s like a lazy sun-drenched day at the beach, bright on the surface while riptides coil beneath the breakers.

We meet at Resident Culture Brewing Company in Plaza Midwood, where Carr works a few shifts a month whenever she’s not engaged in furthering

her music career. In person, Carr is energetic, articulate and driven. When she makes a point, she hits the table top, making it shake. The demure and playful side depicted in Carr’s publicity photos is present, but so too is the thoughtful artist and the canny businesswoman.

In a little more than two years, Carr has garnered the support of musicians, filmmakers and fans, perhaps because she has the talent, charisma and work ethic to be Charlotte’s next big breakout

live performance.

Whichever fork in the road her career and craft take, it’s Carr’s call.

“It’s what am I going to do. Not, what’s going to happen to me,” says the musician, who turned 26 in April. “A lot of artists get caught up in that. ‘Someone is going to discover me and I’ll be a superstar.’ That’s how you get fucked. That’s how you end up broke, manipulated and alone.”

NATALIE CARR PHOTO BY RICK ULLBERG

artist, a pop analog to rap’s DaBaby or R&B’s Anthony Hamilton. Or she could keep cruising in the groove she’s perfecting — chill yet explicitly honest tunes that mirror her listeners’ lofty hopes, deepest dreams and harrowing disappointments. It’s even possible her muse might take a hairpin turn as Carr starts to adapt her studio-crafted compositions to

Finding a voice

Carr has loved, consumed and shared music for as long as she can remember. Growing up in Stamford, Connecticut, she started playing piano at age 7, and was playing guitar by middle school.

There was only one drawback.

“I grew up hating my voice,” she remembers. “I

just didn’t think it was very good.” Yet that didn’t stop Carr from singing, and the more she sang the more she realized she was being ridiculously selfconscious. “[Singing] is human. It’s literally what comes out of you when you’re expressing emotion.”

Carr acknowledges that she’s in a field filled with exceptional vocalists, but the fluttering melismatic flights of Mariah Carey and others are not for her.

“I have to let my voice be vulnerable,” she says.

“I have to allow the cracks [in] for it to be Natalie.”

Carr attended Duke University in Durham to study public policy, an amalgam of statistics, economics and political science that still fascinates her. She also worked at Small Town Records, the college’s student-run label where she dabbled in music business management. She started working with Chris West, who has gone on to engineer albums for DaBaby in Charlotte.

West convinced Carr she had potential as a writer and performer. After graduating in 2017, Carr started working with producer and manager J-Mac (John McCall). Though J-Mac was then based in Raleigh, the two developed a tight working relationship. Like West, J-Mac saw long term potential in Carr.

“He wasn’t someone who was like, ‘Pay me this and I’ll do this for you,’” Carr says. “He wasn’t a cash grabber.”

In 2018, Carr decamped for Charlotte. After working with J-Mac for two years, she signed to his company Fourth Quarter Time in March 2020.

All this time, Carr, who sees herself as a songwriter first and performer second, was writing material and developing her distinctive style.

“I have a hard time writing lyrics that I’ve heard a thousand times,” she says. Instead, she embraces explicit, even confrontational lyrics when she felt they bolstered her message.

“I speak on my shame and I’m trying to not shy away from experiences I’ve had,” Carr maintains. Realizing that many women have gone through experiences similar to hers, she hopes her songs might validate those listeners and make them feel seen and heard.

“If that means being explicit or raunchy or opinioned, I’m okay with that.”

She says her songwriting subject matter is a 50/50 split between autobiography and invention.

Her current romantic partner frequently asks if certain lyrics criticizing male behavior are about him, and Carr must explain that some people and situations she documents are also fictitious.

“I can relate to the experiences I write about, but they’re not necessarily mine,” Carr says. “I want

MUSIC FEATURE to tell stories, so long as there is an underlying emotional component that matters to me and whoever is listening.”

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Sculpting a sound

Carr is not enthralled with the sound of “Bad Side,” the song that launched her recording career.

“It was influenced by who I was working with at the time,” she says, acknowledging that the song’s production leaves much to be desired. On the other hand, the lyrics about Carr’s romantic interest at the time drew praise from listeners and inspired fellow musicians to check her out. With that February 2019 single, Carr also developed a key component of her emerging sound, a freestyle singing technique that resembles a R&B recitative.

“It set me up for that sing-rap thing I do — [with] a lot of words stanza by stanza.”

Despite Carr’s current love of sharply observed details and fictional devices, the second song she released cut close to home. She wrote the blistering take-down “Talk About You,” about her then on-again, off-again boyfriend. To make the diss decidedly more cutting, the boyfriend was a sound engineer, and he was engineering the very session where the song was cut. Today, Carr marvels at her brazenness — and immaturity — in making that move.

Carr recalls that “Talk About You,” released in September 2019, was one of her first songs that J-Mac worked on.

“I wanted it to be sassy, invigorating, catchy — and a little bit bitter,” she says.

The goal was to give the record a big sound, Carr remembers. To achieve that goal, the pop record incorporated hip-hop drums and heavy bass hits.

“You have to experiment to find your sound [and] find your audience,” Carr says.

In June 2020, she dropped the raw and powerful “Used.” It represents a quantum leap for Carr. Lonely and isolated, she wrote the song in COVID-imposed quarantine, ruminating on dating in the 21st century where it’s so easy to feel disposable and so hard to find something real, meaningful and longlasting. Halfway through the song, Carr drops the devastatingly honest line, “He dicks me down / and now he’s just the plug.”

The lyric came from a place of anger, Carr reveals. Up until that point she hadn’t sent many messages in song. “Used” was the introduction to a more explicit and vulnerable songwriting style. It’s

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MUSIC FEATURE also the song where she first started tracking and engineering her own vocals, after learning Pro Tools and Logic.

“It’s made me a better singer,” Carr maintains.

“I’ll add harmonies, move them around or take them out. When [I’m] comping vocals, I can hear all ways my voice can be manipulated, and how things can be designed.”

She has to remind herself it doesn’t always have to sound perfect. “I have to embrace being imperfect for any of this to work.”

On the basis of “Used,” Carr started getting messages from newer fans. One particularly poignant post stated that the listener had cried to the song every night of the week, and that it had helped her cope. The song’s message began to build a fan base for Carr.

“In the world of heartbreak, addiction, loss and grief, the only thing that allows you to move past and survive is being mirrored and understood,” Carr says. “For someone to get that from something I wrote down, freestyled and recorded in my bedroom was so cool.”

“Sad Little Rant,” which followed in July 2020, rocks a vibe similar to “Used.” It came from a place of sadness and feeling alone, says Carr, the notion of not being good enough.

It’s an oddly fitting sentiment for the accompanying video, Carr’s first, that turned out to be merely okay. Billed as co-directors, Sheeraz Balushi and Michael Finster actually shot different versions of the video. The best parts of each shoot were cobbled together into the final product. Due to her own lack of forethought and planning, Carr accepts responsibility for a missed opportunity, something she feels could have been potent rather than a random selection of shots.

“I look good in it,” Carr offers with a laugh.

“That’s all I can say.”

With the moody, romantic “Blue Lights,” an exercise in pure pop with fewer R&B influences, Carr feels she and her team started to hit their stride. Following a treatment she devised, Carr and director Michael Finster, delved into modern-day film noir for the video in which Carr and her real-life partner play a pair of criminal lovers on the run.

They meet in dingy hotel rooms, never stay anywhere long, and smoke like chimneys. Despite all the smoke in the video, Carr says she neither smokes or drinks.

“It’s obviously not something I’ve lived,” she says. “I had this idea of love on the run. I’m in love

with him and don’t want to leave because I can’t. I’m addicted to him.”

Carr subsequently recut an acoustic version of “Blue Lights”, accompanied by Finster’s spare and elegant performance video. She considers the original version big and epic, but she had started to wonder if the song might have even more impact if the instrumentation was scaled back to just voice and piano. “[The song] is a good candidate for acoustic because it could be slowed down, it could be cinematic,” she reasons.

While Carr loves the full production version, she feels the acoustic variant is “a bit more beautiful, a bit more emotional.”

Big video, new band

The version of “Fate” currently posted on YouTube sans video is the second version of the song cut by Carr. She says she was dissatisfied with the production and her vocals in the original version.

With J-Mac in charge, the new edition brought Carr to a place where she could feel the song more personally.

“We got the production in a good place and I said, ‘I’m going to try to recut it and see if I can fall in love with it again.’”

Like “Blue Lights,” “Fate” has also been recast with an acoustic performance video, recorded and shot at GrindHaus, producer, songwriter and performer Jason Jet’s production studio in east Charlotte. A release date for the video has not been set yet. Carr says she loved the experience at GrindHaus because it was the first performance by her newly formed backing band, which consists of guitarist Shago Elizondo, drummer Jesse Lamar Williams and bassist Lamont McCain. It’s a tight-knit crew. Elizondo and Williams first played together over a decade ago as founding members of Lucky Five. McCain and Elizondo are current members of Anthony Hamilton’s band.

The band has been rehearsing in the lead-up to Carr’s June 9 gig at the Neighborhood Theatre where they will accompany her onstage.

“A lot of the songs I write are sampled — the production is samples,” Carr says. “We’re finding out, the band and me, that they’re hard to recreate with real instruments because they’re sitting between notes.”

Carr has found a musical soulmate in Elizondo, who is also the band’s musical director.

“Every time Shago and I get together, it’s like channeling,” she says. “He plays and I sing and every single time, I’m like, ‘This is so easy.’”

Carr promises a chill performance with the band, drawing on the players’ backgrounds in jazz, soul and R&B. “They make me want to write real R&B records,” she says.

In the meantime, Carr is aware that “Fate” has earned her more fans. She allows that the number isn’t the catchiest song she’s written, and that it doesn’t have “hit record” or “banger” written on it.

“But it is potent, and it is me,”she says. Carr thinks every song she’s put out has brought her a different audience, and that this simple straightforward tune has brought even more listeners to the table.

With that in mind, the pressure was on for Carr and Finster to create a killer video to accompany the song. Carr felt she was not up to the task. Up until then she had worn every single creative hat. While it was wonderful D.I.Y. training, Carr says she also learned that she’s not good at everything.

“None of us are,” Carr says. “I was wearing hats that maybe I shouldn’t have.”

Via Finster, Caravan, a Charlotte-based production agency that specializes in high-end commercials and documentaries, came into the picture. Carr and her crew, who had done everything D.I.Y. and low-budget, couldn’t understand why the heavy hitters were interested in the video. It turns out Caravan’s participation was due to their own fandom; they had heard the song and loved it.

“I was so shocked to hear them tell me how much the song meant to them, how much they liked the lyrics and what it brought into their heads,” Carr says. The agency brought in director Dylan Hahn, who’s worked with local acts Emily Sage and Foxfire Run. Hahn also loved “Fate,” and had come up with a detailed vision for the song.

Over two days and four locations in May, Carr found herself in a new role: actress in her video. She found it strange that all that was required of her was

to get to set on time, hit her marks, hold still to get worked on by hair and makeup, and recreate the emotions that fueled the song in the first place.

She marvels at the physical effect designed for the near-drowning scene, a bathtub rig with the bottom replaced with a pane of plexiglass, so Carr could look up at the camera when submerged under the upturned tub. She learned that she could cry on cue when called to do so.

At press time the “Fate” video’s release in still TBA, and Carr’s concerned there might be an artistic traffic jam. The fully produced video could come out when the video of her acoustic take on the same song drops.

Both might run up against the June 17 release of her new song with the evocative name “Scraped Knees.” “[The song] will be consistent with the sound of ‘Sad Little Rant,’ definitely in that lane,” Carr says.

“Scraped Knees” will draw on a mix of hip-hop elements coupled with pop production and vocals.

“Mid-tempo, lyrical, that kind of thing,” she says. “I feel like I’ve found my sound.”

With this whirlwind of activity and releases, it may seem strange that until recently Carr’s primary concern was that she may not be deserving of the attention she and her songs are receiving from a high-end production company and a crack crew of R&B musicians. She found it shocking to be surrounded by so many accomplished people who believed in her.

A talk with Elizondo set her straight.

“Shago is so incredibly reassuring,” she says.

“He’s like, ‘Dude, we’re doing this because of you.’”

This new understanding, however, comes with responsibilities.

“I am the catalyst,” Carr concludes. “I’m the center of these operations, I’ve got a job to do and I have to do it well.”

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Rodney Shelton & Eric Brice (Middle C Jazz)

Steve Aoki (Fillmore) Audien (QC Social Lounge)

JUNE 11

RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B

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JAZZ/CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL The Voltage Brothers (Middle C Jazz)

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COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA Josh Morningstar, Bryan Elijah Smith & Gia Ray (Evening Muse) Jakob’s Ferry Stragglers (US National Whitewater Center) Trey Lewis (Coyote Joe’s)

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DJ/ELECTRONIC DieselBoy The Destroyer (SERJ)

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FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

tips left on credit cards. She did not include tips left In a meeting on May 7, Payne and owner Sean The popular NoDa restaurant — owned by from patrons who pay in cash and patrons who pay Potter called Wright into the restaurant 45 minutes Chef Chris Coleman, Sean Potter, and AJ Klenk the bill with a credit card but leave their tip in cash. early for a meeting to discuss the claims, according “This is a critical omission because the servers to Wright. In this meeting, Wright said Potter — allegedly misappropriated the funds through a system known as tip pooling wherein servers, have always kept 100% of their cash tips and admitted the tips had been misappropriated but bartenders, and other commonly tipped staff ‘tipped out’ 0% of their cash tips to their supporting claimed ignorance to the federal law requiring all the statement continues. “Therefore, servers receive at least 85% of their tips. Potter told The Goodyear House accused automatically contribute up to 15% of their tips to employees,” while the amount of tips left solely on credit cards Wright the tip-out structure would change. other staff. of illegally misappropriating Similarly, in a separate May 8 meeting, Payne A representative from the North Carolina may have at times exceeded a tip out of 15%, when tips all tips — both credit card and cash — are included, and Potter reportedly told the anonymous server Department of Labor told Queen City Nerve that federal law mandates that the final amount going the company fully believes that the servers were at we spoke with that they did not know there was

BY DION BEARY AND PAT MORAN to each server after the tip out must be at least all times compensated appropriately and legally.” a law stating they couldn’t take more than 15% of This contradicts claims from multiple employees employees’ tips, and that they had been taking 20% 85% of the tips processed by that server. None of NoDa restaurant The Goodyear House has the reallocated tips may go to non-tipped staff such who told Queen City Nerve members of management by policy. illegally misappropriated tips from its service staff as managers, hourly wage workers, or owners, the confirmed the wrongdoing to them, though saying “[They said] now, they’re going to be taking and is now using intimidation tactics to avoid representative said. it was accidental, in individual meetings.

15% from now on,” the server said. “There was no repaying the lost wages, employees are alleging.

Upon discovering the issue, Wright said she discussion ever of reimbursing money that they took According to multiple employees who in the past.” spoke with Queen City Nerve, Goodyear Wright confirmed that Potter did not House management appropriated the tips offer to compensate her or other servers for from the time the restaurant opened in past misappropriated wages.

January 2020 to mid-May of 2021, and Marc Gustafson, a partner at legal firm could owe staff members between $60,000 Bell, David & Pitt focusing on employment and $70,000. matters, told Queen City Nerve employers Former Goodyear House server Forrest generally must compensate employees for Wright first raised concerns publicly unpaid wages. Gustafson did not speak to about the restaurant’s tip-out structure the specifics of the situation at The Goodyear on social media. Wright has eight years of House, or the specifics of the law around tipservice industry experience and worked out structures. with Goodyear House since the restaurant “If someone is not paid wages they are opened. An anonymous co-worker of entitled to, then the employer is in fact on Wright’s characterized Wright as a model the hook for those,” Gustafson said. “In fact, employee. there are what we call liquidated damages.”

Following a wedding event at the Gustafson said these liquidated restaurant during which all servers’ tips were damages are an additional amount on top reallocated to the bartending staff, Wright of the owed wages, and are equal to the looked into her recent tip-out receipts and unpaid wages. noticed management had been keeping In March 2020, the U.S Department of more of her tips than the 15% allowed by Labor (DOL) ordered South End restaurant PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN THE GOODYEAR HOUSE SHORTLY BEFORE OPENING IN JANUARY 2019. state law.

Hot Taco to pay $120,949 in back wages “They were taking closer to 21%,” and liquidated damages to 67 employees Wright said. “I was in shock. I left not really Restaurant management originally refused immediately took the concern to Meghan Payne, for minimum-wage violations resulting from illegal knowing if I would be able to come back to work and multiple requests for comment on this story, but a manager at the restaurant. In a meeting on April tip-pooling policies. just … continue to make money for a company that after its publication online, a law firm representing 30, Wright said Payne calculated that the amount of According to a DOL release, Hot Taco illegally I felt was taking my money.”

The Goodyear House sent a statement claiming misappropriated tips could be between $60,000 and required tipped employees to share tips with Queen City Nerve evaluated Wright’s tip-out that restaurant management carried out its own $70,000. Wright said Payne then asked her if she non-tipped employees such as kitchen staff. The receipts and confirmed her claims. On April 17, investigation of the allegations, which it believes believed the recipients of the misappropriated tips mandatory tip-pooling arrangement did not meet management reappropriated 24% of Wright’s tips. cleared management of all wrongdoing. “deserved” to make as much as they make. requirements mandated by the Fair Labor Standards On April 21, they took 19% of her tips, and on April “She kept saying it wasn’t theft because they Act. “The inaccuracy stems from how the former 23, they took 21%. didn’t know about it,” Wright said. server quoted in your article calculated the amount Another server from The Goodyear House who that servers ‘tip out’ to the bussers, runners, and When asked by a Queen City Nerve reporter Intimidation and retaliation wished to remain anonymous told Queen City Nerve bartenders who do the hard work of supporting to confirm these claims or comment more broadly In a pre-shift meeting at The Goodyear House the restaurant misappropriated at least 20% of their them,” the statement reads. “In doing her on the allegations before publication, Payne said, on May 8, employees were instructed to sign a tips as recently as May 17. calculations, the server you quoted included only “We’re not really interested in commenting on that.” document acknowledging the new tip-out structure.

OUT OF THE POOL

Pg. 24 JUN 2 - JUN 15, 2021 - QCNERVE.COM

The laws around tip pooling

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

Pg. 25 JUN 2 - JUN 15, 2021 - QCNERVE.COM

Multiple employees told Queen City Nerve they felt they would not be allowed to continue employment at the restaurant if they didn’t sign the document.

Employees were not permitted to take time to review the document with a lawyer, nor was an employment lawyer present to administer it.

Queen City Nerve has not seen the content of this document, but has been briefed on the nature of the document by servers who have seen it.

“I wasn’t comfortable with just signing something in the moment like that,” Wright said.

“People didn’t really know what was going on and they couldn’t really understand.”

A law firm representing The Goodyear House says the document was meant to confirm with employees that they are aware their compensation model has changed, as required by North Carolina law.

“Going forward, instead of having all ‘tip outs’ come from only credit card tips while the servers keep 100% of the cash tips, The Goodyear House has changed its policy so that the servers will be tipping out no more than 15% of their credit card tips and also no more than 15% of their cash tips,” the

statement read. “The GYH hopes that this change will address any confusion about its policies.”

Wright, who had already submitted her twoweek notice at that point, refused to sign the document at first. She said manager Meghan Payne then publicly pressured her to sign it.

“Her exact words were ‘Forrest, I can’t have you being a distraction tonight,’” Wright said. “There was another lead server there. [Payne] kept saying ‘Forrest, you need to sign it. Forrest, you need to sign it.’”

Wright said she felt there was not a way for her to work that night unless she signed it. Wright finally signed the document, at which point Payne called her a distraction. Wright immediately quit.

Another source, speaking on condition of anonymity, echoed Wright’s impression of the meeting. The source said they felt they had to sign the document in order to be allowed to work.

“I believe we were all rushed into signing it,” the anonymous server said. The server confirmed that several other servers felt pressured during the meeting.

Speaking generally, Marc Gustafson told Queen City Nerve this may constitute an illegal retaliation tactic.

“While an employer could require an employee to sign a tip agreement, the employer could not retaliate against an employee for reporting a wage

Wright detailed the situation in a post made to and hour violation,” Gustafson said.

Gustafson said having a shift taken away could the NoDa Facebook group on May 20. She also made a post on the NoDa Nextdoor page. Both posts have be considered an act of retaliation. been deleted by administrators of the respective groups.

The cover-up The NoDa Business Association, of which The Internally, the story has driven conflict at The Goodyear House is a member, is listed as one of the Goodyear House. Owners have told staff their wages may be further affected if they continue to discuss administrators for the Facebook group. Nothing in the situation, according to one anonymous source. Wright’s posts appeared to violate any of the stated “There’s a divide happening,” the server said. rules of the group.

Sources disagree on whether or not they believe “Management is saying ‘This is affecting your the misappropriated wages were accidental. Several money.’” local restaurant owners and bar managers who Servers said management has been pushing the idea that if the dining public finds out about spoke on the condition of anonymity say that, while the misappropriated wages, diners will boycott accidentally misappropriating tips once in a while is The Goodyear House, resulting in reduced tips for possible, doing it unintentionally for over a year is servers. The anonymous source confirmed these unlikely.

“I find it hard to believe that people opening intimidation tactics are working. a business and people managing are [unfamiliar] “There are some people basically thinking that with those laws,” said Wright, echoing the general people won’t come into Goodyear House because of these claims, and then they won’t make money,” sentiment of other industry professionals.

The anonymous server we spoke to believed the server said. “Lots of servers don’t want to bring the misappropriation was unintentional, but is now attention … because of that.”

Wright said she’s been vilified by management spiraling into something else entirely: “What was negligent before is now trying to be fixed or covered up.” over the situation.

“I feel like they’ve been gaslighting me,” she said.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

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PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE. ©2020 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.

1. TELEVISION: What were the names of the six children on “The Brady Bunch”?

2. GEOGRAPHY: Which of the Earth’s oceans is the smallest?

3. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: What is the lowest rank in the U.S. Air Force?

4. LANGUAGE: What is the American version of the British plimsolls?

5. LITERATURE: Which one of Shakespeare’s plays is the longest?

6. MEASUREMENTS: What time period is a decennial?

7. MOVIES: Which actor played himself in the movie “Zombieland”?

8. ANIMAL KINGDOM: How many eyes does a bee have?

9. ANATOMY: What are rasceta?

10. U.S. PRESIDENTS: Which 20th-century president’s Secret Service code name was Timberwolf?

CROSSWORD

ACROSS 1 Ukraine’s capital 5 Tehrani, e.g.

10 Iowa city 14 Hay bundler 19 Black-and-white bite 20 First Hebrew month 21 Fine rain 22 “You can’t beat me!”

23 Chess or charades 25 Hibachi, often 27 Grind, as grinders 28 Dorm VIPs 30 Otherwise 31 Six, in Roma 32 Tell the judge you did it 36 Financial aid option 38 Ordinance 39 Verizon Fios, e.g.

40 Reply to “You’re a stinker!”

42 Hugs, in a love note 43 Wet expanse 45 Bygone flight inits.

46 Stack messily 49 It, in Italy 53 Air rifle 56 Waters off Qatar 59 Word div.

60 Refined find 61 Long-nosed swimmer 62 Year, to Livy 63 Taint 64 Research into a political foe’s weaknesses, in slang 66 Silky casing 68 2015 Bryan Cranston film 70 She’s a symbol for a cause 74 Window material 76 1974 hit subtitled “Touch the Wind”

77 Signaled “yes” 79 Cambodian currency 80 Slugging stat 81 Stats, e.g.

83 Hi- -- (some stereos) 84 Roget’s entry: Abbr.

85 Aunt’s sis, maybe 89 Dry white wine of Italy 92 Small, loose stones for a walkway 94 Bit of a climb 95 Adversities 96 Chop down 97 Singer Baker 98 U.K. mil. fliers 101 Yet to come 103 Dudes 105 Novelist Deighton 106 Acted omnipotent 111 Jail official 114 Stable grain 115 Big brawl 116 Suffix with planet 117 The planets, e.g.

118 Societal welfare 121 Film rating that’s apt for this puzzle’s theme 126 Babble on 127 Designer Saarinen 128 Prayer place 129 Jazz singer Fitzgerald 130 NFL gains 131 Romanov royal 132 Snaring loop 133 Result of a falling-out DOWN 1Keystone -2 Novelist Levin 3 Always, to a bard 4 Long Russian river

5 Wearing tattered duds 6 Throws together 7 Japanese beer 8 ‘60s conflict site 9 Resistance to change 10 Gig gear 11 Actress Farrow 12 Cosmetician Lauder 13 Quiet 14 Narcissist’s quality 15 Pt. of ETA 16 Verdi’s “-- Miller” 17 Page of films 18 Sparked anew 24 2009 Colin Farrell film 26 Capital in Scandinavia 29 Novelist Rand 32 Sinks heavily 33 “Cagney & --” 34 Actor Tom of “The Seven Year Itch” 35 Croquet site 36 Landing site 37 Film director Nicolas 41 Things to show a trainee 44 Divvies up 45 Certain day of the wk.

47 Yoga pose 48 Golf marker 50 -- cum laude 51 Thick cuts 52 ‘60s hairdos 54 Highest ladder part 55 Limey’s drink 56 Lobbying gp.

57 Ponying up, in poker 58 26-Down’s country, to its natives 61 Aquarium favorite 65 -- four (small cake)

Enjoy

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66 -- -Magnon 67 Antique 69 Funnywoman Tracey 70 Criminals, to cops 71 Go around 72 Tuna net 73 How tuna may be packed 75 “-- little harder” 78 The Divine, in Genoa 82 Three days after 45-Down: Abbr.

84 Darn, e.g.

86 Teresa of -87 39.37 inches 88 -- flowing with milk and honey 90 “Grand Ole” venue 91 Happy 92 Mani- -93 Forest figure 96 Under-soil layer of clay 99 Eagle nests 100 Bank door abbr.

102 Lead-in to Pen 103 Starbucks selections 104 Total 106 Red flower 107 Dern of films 108 Being tried in court 109 Fetch 110 Siouan tribespeople 112 -- voce 113 Total 116 Bad smell 119 U.K. “Inc.” 120 Man-mouse link 122 Mop & -123 Yalie 124 Fairy 125 Rebel Turner

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

THE SEEKER IN LATE BLOOM Confronting the writer and fighter within

Pg. 28 AUG 12 - AUG 25, 2020 - QCNERVE.COM

BY KATIE GRANT

I’m a late bloomer in many ways, but none that I take too seriously. For example, I recently joined a virtual writing meet-up group even though I’ve been writing for ... let’s just say forever.

The virtual women-only group is introvert-friendly, meaning we are welcome to keep our cameras off during session. None of us do, which surprises me for such a reserved group just getting to know one another. I remind myself to “not take counsel of my fears”, as my dad likes to remind me, and keep in mind that this is an inclusive group of functioning adults.

This collective allows an opportunity for accountability, creative confidence, and support. It’s like being in a sorority ... no, a love club. Scratch that, it’s a community: like-minded women with a shared love of creative writing, each in our own stage of the creative process. I’ll walk you through a recent meet-up.

As an icebreaker, we are given the opportunity to speak up. We are asked to state our name and a little about ourselves before declaring “I am a writer,” then to sit with the silence that follows. The quiet is empowering yet equally awkward.

Nevertheless, I say it. I am a writer. Yet another example of delayed blooming. I’ve casually mentioned things in conversation like, “I like to write in my free time” or “I could see myself as a writer,” but never have I ever said these three, short liberating words. What I find is saying this aloud encourages me to take up space and stop making myself small to the world.

Our facilitator makes it clear that “if you write, you are a writer”. Well shit, I guess that makes me a writer, along with all the other women in the group. Some are outlining a novel, drafting a memoir, writing poems, or blogging.

All of us are here together for very different reasons, but also for the same reason: We are writers.

After the icebreaker, we are given our writing prompt for the day and space for a “power hour” of journaling.

Again, we have the option to turn our cameras off for the duration of this time but again, no one does!

Together we embark on a hushed journey of keyboard clicking, flooding the pages in front of us with our own thoughts and feelings.

Our prompt is the following: Take a look at your planner for the week. Is there enough joy and beauty?

If this were your last week on earth, would the planned activities fill you with joy? Which activities seem meaningless once brought into the context of how short life is? What are some manageable, small activities you can sneak in that bring you joy? Where can you sneak them in?

Looking at my planner, all I see is work; early mornings, long days, sometimes late evenings. I’m protective of my weekends, though, saving those days for a little schoolwork, a lot of wine and downtime with my husband, dog and friends.

I find my work meaningful, so I’m very lucky in that sense. Working at a non-profit, I know my work directly impacts the community, which is fulfilling. It’s the bullshit bureaucracy that weighs me down.

The excessively complicated administrative procedures, superfluous minutiae, or non-essential workplace conversations that would lead anyone down a road of mental instability.

There’s only so much yoga, meditation and other forms of exercise I can do before turning to a medical professional, which I have recently done. I’m now on my third week of Lexipro to get control of my anxiety. I think it’s working?

Let’s look at my self-care for the week. Hmmmm ... I was able to sneak a facial in during a lunch hour, so that’s a small victory. By now I have finally and officially released the misconception that self-care always means a day off, vacation or massage.

Carving out a little time for myself during the workday also qualifies, so a lunchtime facial fits the bill.

I was also able to walk away from my desk early on Friday, around 4 p.m., but on a day that began at 6 a.m., maybe that’s not such a win after all. Then again, starting my day with the sunrise provides quiet time to complete work projects, personal tasks, and a longer lunch break for a workout which is often my self-care for the day.

I am intentional about everything at this point in my life — work, friend groups, downtime — so for me, nothing is meaningless (except those empty-calorie conversations with co-workers that working from home 80% of the time helps alleviate).

For now, I’ll squeeze in a little more time with Mother Nature, especially since the U.S. National Whitewater Center has reinstated River Jam, and revisit this prompt next year after grad school. Maybe then I’ll have more free time to complain.

I suppose I can also let go of the “late bloomer” status and take heed from the French proverb, “Wherever life plants you, bloom with grace”, because I’m doing just that.

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LIFESTYLE

HOROSCOPE JUNE 2 - JUNE 8

JUNE 9 - JUN 15

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Although you would LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Taking time ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Lots of possibilities LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Expect to

prefer to move forward at a steady pace, it might out of your busy schedule might be the best way be a good idea to stop and reassess your plans. You to handle that sensitive private matter. It will help could find a good reason to make a change at this reassure everyone involved about your priorities. time.

begin to open up by midweek. Some seem more hear good news about a loved one. Also, be prepared appealing than others. But wait for more facts for some changes in several family relationships that to emerge later on before you consider which to could develop from this lucky turn of events. choose.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Insist on (April 20 to May 20) Just when you full disclosure by all parties before agreeing to be TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Bravo to the thought you had everything planned to the smallest part of a “great deal.” What you learn should help determined Bovine. While others might give up, you detail, you get some news that could unsettle you decide whether to go with it or not. continue to search for answers. Expect your Taurean things. But a timely explanation helps put it all back tenacity to begin paying off by week’s end. on track.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Some surprises are expected to accompany a number of changes that will continue through part of next week. At least one could involve a romantic situation.

Creative activities take on a practical approach as CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Your keen Cancerian you realize you might be able to market your work. insight should help you determine whether a new creates a difficult but not impossible situation. Ask for advice from someone experienced in this offer is solid or just more fluff ‘n’ stuff. The clues are Continue to follow your planned routine, but keep area. all there, waiting for you to find them. your mind open to a possible change down the line.

workplace goal that suddenly seems out of reach is no problem for the sure-footed Goat, who moves steadily forward despite any obstacles placed in his or her way.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) If you’re LEO (July 23 to August 22) Being ignored is difficult suddenly a bit unsure about your decision, ask for any proud Leo or Leona. But pushing yourself if you like, but it’s a better idea to find out why your trusted colleagues and/or friends or family members back into the spotlight might be unwise. Instead, let suggestions were rejected. What you learn could for suggestions that could help resolve your doubts. things work themselves out at their own pace. help you deal with an upcoming situation.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Uncertainty about who is right and who isn’t might keep you from making a clear-cut decision. Wait until you know more about what you’re being asked to decide.

TAURUS

21) Your decision to protect the secret that was GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) You might want to SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Home and work entrusted to you might irk some people. But it also consider stepping back from the task at hand for a You might be upset by some of your critics. But most continue to compete for your attention. But you wins you the admiration of those who value trust while. This could help you get a better perspective of your associates continue to have faith in your on what you’ve done and what still needs to be ability to get the job done, and done well. handle it well by giving each its proper due. and loyalty.

Someone you trust offers valuable advice. Listen to done. it.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) A

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Unsettling news

LEO (July 23 to August 22) Lick your wounded pride

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) A workplace VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Trying to

situation could get stormy. But stay on course uncover a colleague’s secret under the pretext PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Be careful to listless? No wonder. You might be pushing too hard until there’s a solution that meets with everyone’s of showing concern is ill-advised. Control your keep your emotions in check when dealing with a to finish everything on your to-do list. Cutting it approval, and things finally can calm down. curiosity in order to avoid raising resentment in the demanding personal situation. You need to set an down could help get your energy levels up. workplace. example of strength for others to follow.

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VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Feeling a bit

BORN THIS WEEK: You keep an open mind on

BORN THIS WEEK: You have an extraordinary

most matters, making you the confidante of choice for people who need your honest counsel.

ability to rally people to do their best. You would be a treasure as a teacher.

2020 KING FEATURES SYND., INC.

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

PG.19 PUZZLE ANSWERS

SAVAGE LOVE QUICKIES

Strokes and lubes

BY DAN SAVAGE

expectations were reasonable and she kept them in check, AHOLE, then she knows the odds were stacked against something long-term. She’ll still be sad about the relationship ending and she might think you’re an asshole for ending it — she might actually need to think you’re an asshole to cauterize the emotional wound (so don’t argue with her if she calls you an asshole) — but if you didn’t make any premature declarations of undying love, AHOLE, then she’s unlikely to think you’re an asshole forever. And looking on the bright side: She may be less likely to put up with guys who don’t cook, don’t come through with flowers, and don’t respond to her texts in a reasonable amount of time after being with you.

I had a stroke a year ago. The woman I was dating at the time stepped away. I have no hard feelings but I long for intimacy again. I am profoundly grateful that I don’t have any major outward injuries from the stroke, but my stamina is still very low and might always be. That makes me self-conscious and insecure about sex. Would it be “over-sharing” if I told someone about my My friend’s grandmother was walking through stroke before we go to bed for the first time? It a park when she was accosted by a man asking seems like it will kill the mood and almost certainly for sex. (Yes, my friend’s grandmother.) The man make things less fun. Am I obligated to share this wasn’t violent. It was more of a plea for physical information? affection but definitely one that was made in OUTWARDLY OKAY PRIVATELY STRUGGLING a rapey way. He had something in his hand but

You’re not obligated to share this kind of health it wasn’t a weapon; it was a negative COVID-19 information before going to bed with someone for the first test. He showed it to her as if to say, “It’s OK! I’m time, OOPS, but you might wanna share it. At the root of not a real threat!” Is this what we’ve come to as a your worries about post-stroke stamina is a fear of falling society? Is the isolation people have suffered over short of a new partner’s expectations — expectations the last year going to result in the rate of sexual shaped by assumptions a new partner might have about assault going up?

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PANDEMIC’S AWFUL REALITY KEEPS SCARING

your stamina based on your overall appearance of good health. Resetting your partner’s expectations will take The combination of our politics and this pandemic the pressure off — indeed, if you tell a new partner you seems to have broken some people, PARKS, and brought recently had a stroke, OOPS, you’ll most likely exceed her out the barely suppressed absolute worst in others. I fear (reset) expectations. And that could give your sexual selfthings are going to get a lot shittier before they get any confidence a welcome boost. better — in our parks, in our politics, and just generally on our planet. Here’s hoping humanity manages to I’m a recently separated 42-year-old straight exceed my expectations. male. I’m internet dating for the first time, and I met an awesome girl who makes me laugh, I’m dating someone 13 years younger than makes me playlists on Spotify, and is just generally me. He’s a monogamous man and I am not a amazing. Of course there’s a glitch: I’m not monogamous woman. We’ve been monogamous attracted to her. I tried but I think the romantic due to the pandemic but with the explicit relationship needs to end. She has mentioned understanding that we won’t work out in the long several times in the last couple of months that term due to our different opinions on monogamy.

I treat her better than anybody she’s ever dated.

I will be vaccinated soon but I don’t want to break (That blows my mind — apparently cooking up with him after I get the hots for someone else. dinner, occasional flowers, and returning texts That seems like a dick move. My lizard brain tells puts me head and shoulders above everyone else?) me that if he would explore non-monogamy he’d My question: How do you break that kind of news come to the conclusion that it’s a good approach. to someone without looking like an asshole?

Should I put on my big-girl pants and break it off?

ANXIOUSLY HESITATING OVER LOOMING END

TRIVIA ANSWERS: 1. Greg, Marcia, Peter, Jan, Bobby and Cindy 2. Arctic 3. Airman basic

who knows? He may be willing to give non-monogamy a try once the pandemic ends (perhaps one-sided nonmonogamy, e.g. you’re free to sleep with other people and he’s free to remain monogamous to you), ROTBAN, just as you were willing to give monogamy a try while the pandemic raged. He’s significantly younger but I assume he’s an adult (he is an adult, right!?) and, as an adult, he’s free to make his own choices. Your only obligation is to ensure he has all the information he needs to make a fully informed choice.

4. Sneakers 5. “Hamlet” 6. 10 years 7. Bill Murray

8. Five 9. Deep creases at your wrists 10. George Herbert Walker Bush

unto you and therefore isn’t something you should do unto others. So Jesus thinks you shouldn’t do this, SPIED, and I think … well, I don’t think you should — that’s too strong a word — but I definitely think you could.

Do you know what’s in commercial sex lubes?

Chemicals. And chemicals are bad and unnatural.

Seriously. I prefer olive oil or something else from the kitchen. But whenever I use cooking oils, I find that a tiny layer of dead cells sloughs off my cock. That isn’t a problem, but the cells seem to Bi-girl, early thirties, in an open relationship gather together and it feels like grains of sand. I’m with a man. A question of ethics. Say I’m on the assuming certain oils loosen dead skin cells and it apps looking to hook-up with women. I’m upfront causes this. Are there some oils that don’t do that? that I’m in an open relationship and looking STROKING NOT SANDING for casual fun. I have no intention of trying to We use commercial a sex lube at our place, SNS, and leverage these dates into threesomes with me and our cocks aren’t shedding dead skin cells at noticeable/ my boyfriend, but it turns my boyfriend on to hear clumpable rates or making our asses feel like they’re about fun I have with other people. Would it be packed with sand. And we do know what’s in our lube: wrong to let my boyfriend come sit, anonymously, our preferred brand, Spunk, is made from avocado in a bar where I’m meeting a date? I’ll ignore him, and coconuts oils and these ingredients, according to he won’t stare or approach me and my date, he’ll Spunk’s website, “are organic and chemical-free.” Now if just get a thrill out of being there. On the one you Google, say, “chemical composition of avocado oil,” hand, I assume most women wouldn’t be into you learn that it, like everything else — including your this scenario. So that’s a reason not to do it. But precious olive oil — is composed of various chemicals. on the other hand, they wouldn’t know. I realize Natural, not man-made, but chemicals still. That said, this depends on actually executing the plan with SNS, if the oils you’re using as lube are causing your dick to discretion but that seems doable. Thoughts?

SEEKING PERSPECTIVES IN ETHICAL DATING disintegrate then you might wanna give Spunk a chance.

This passes my Permissible Secret Perving test (which mail@savagelove.net; Follow Dan on Twitter @ I unpack at length in an upcoming book) — it passes the FakeDanSavage; savagelovecast.com RIP OFF THE BANDAGE ALBEIT NICELY PSP test so long as the other woman doesn’t know your Speaking of expectations…

You don’t have to end it after finding someone else boyfriend is there and never finds out your boyfriend was You’re a newly separated man and you’ve only you wanna fuck — or before — but you will need to give there — but it fails the Golden Rule test. Meaning, this been seeing this woman for a couple of months. If her this guy a heads up before you fuck someone else. And probably isn’t something you would want others doing

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