Queen City Nerve - August 25, 2021

VOLUME 3, ISSUE 20; AUGUST 25 - SEPTEMBER 7, 2021; WWW.QCNERVE.COM

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CHARLOTTE RESIDENTS DISCUSS WHAT PRIDE MEANS TO THEM

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

NEWS& OPINION ARTS& CULTURE PUBLISHER

JUSTIN LAFRANCOIS jl afra n co i s @ q cn er ve.com

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF RYAN PITKIN rpi tk i n @ q cn e r ve. c om

ART DIRECTOR

JAYME JOHNSON jjo h n s o n @ q cn e r ve.com

DIGITAL EDITOR

KARIE SIMMONS ks i m mo n s @ q cn er ve.com

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Jail Socks release debut album and discover a new lease on life

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20 HOROSCOPE 21 STRANGE FACTS 22 SAVAGE LOVE THANKS TO OUR CONTRIBUTORS: PAT MORAN, KARIE SIMMONS, LIZ LOGAN, TIMOTHY DEPEUGH, REMY THURSTON, NICK LEWIS, CONNOR SCHLOSSER, SURF MITCHELL, BRIAN TWITTY, MICHELLE LOTKER, PATRICK CAUSEY, AERIN SPRUILL, DAN SAVAGE AND ALL OUR LGBTQ READERS WHO CONTRIBUTED TO THIS ISSUE’S PRIDE PIECE.

MUSIC: JAIL SOCKS DROPS LONG-AWAITED DEBUT ALBUM PG. 12 ARTS: KENNY NGUYEN TAKES A JOURNEY PG. 8

CHARLOTTE RESIDENTS DISCUSS WHAT PRIDE MEANS TO THEM

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10 LIFELINE: 10 COOL THINGS TO DO IN TWO WEEKS 12 A NEWFOUND FREEDOM BY PAT MORAN

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMM BY TIMOTHY DEPEUGH Hummus, life, and the 21st-century art of getting nothing right

PAT MORAN pm o ra n @ q cn er ve . com RENN WILSON r wi l s o n @ q cn e r ve . com

8 THE SILK ROAD BY LIZ LOGAN Kenny Nguyen’s art is an epic tale sculpted with silk

16 FOOD& DRINK 19 LIFESTYLE 20

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4 THE MEANING OF PRIDE BY KARIE SIMMONS Readers explain what Charlotte Pride means to them in the age of the NDO

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Charlotte Pride Postpones Multiple Events Amid Rising COVID-19 Rates

Readers explain what Charlotte Pride means to them in the age of the NDO

BY KARIE SIMMONS

What does Pride mean to you? It’s a question that holds more weight this season for Charlotte’s LGBTQIA+ community. In part because of the return to in-person celebrations cancelled last year due to COVID-19. Also for the first time, we’re not looking at a Charlotte Pride weekend, but an entire season with events ranging from August until November*.

More importantly, though, it’s special because of the recent expansion of the city’s nondiscrimination ordinance.

On Aug. 9, Charlotte City Council voted unanimously to amend Charlotte ordinances to include familial status, sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, veteran status, pregnancy and natural hairstyle as classes protected against discrimination.

The vote was the city’s third go at a new NDO, and the second to be approved by council. The one approved by council in 2016 was infamously canceled out by the passage of HB2 in the state legislature shortly thereafter. The new updates go into effect on Oct. 1 — right as Pride Season gets ready to kick off — with the same protections applying to employment starting Jan. 1, 2022.

It was a big and long-awaited win, so we asked leaders in the LGBTQIA+ community, as well as our readers, to weigh in on what this year’s Pride means to them. *Shortly before this issue went to print, Charlotte Pride announced the postponement of some events scheduled for this season.

See sidebar for more information and visit charlottepride.org for updates on reschedulings.

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Brian DuBois

What he’s looking forward to about this year’s celebrations: As with many activities, virtual just One Voice Chorus doesn’t build community. I am excited to be back East Charlotte; He/Him together again so we can feel the energy that exists What Pride means to him: in a celebration like this.

Pride means having a relationship to a larger community (both local and abroad) and supporting that relationship in every way possible.

This is our time to show up and show out for that community so we can bond together.

BRIAN DUBOIS

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How the NDO passing makes this Pride special: Just like with the passage of gay marriage, this Pride is a special time to celebrate.

We have a long overdue victory. It is also a time to thank those that fought for those protections.

SCOTT LINDSLEY (LEFT) AND HUSBAND JOEY HEWELL

Charlotte Pride announced on Aug. 23 that the organization will postpone certain events and celebrations scheduled for its upcoming Pride Season due to low vaccination rates and heightened testpositivity rates of COVID-19 and the Delta variant. The postponed events include the Charlotte Pride Drag Pageant, Charlotte Pride Interfaith Celebration, and the Charlotte Pride Festival & Concert.

Originally scheduled for dates in September, each of the events have been rescheduled for October. The Charlotte Pride Drag Pageant will now be part of the concert and festival, rescheduled for Oct. 16 at the AvidXchange Music Factory Festival Grounds. The Charlotte Pride Interfaith Celebration will now take place on Oct. 17 at 4 p.m. at St. Luke Missionary Baptist Church. The parade will take place on Sunday, October 24 as originally scheduled in Uptown Charlotte.

Visit charlottepride.org for more updates moving forward.

Scott Lindsley

NoDa Company Store Uptown Charlotte; He/Him What Pride means to him: Showing how broad and diverse the LGBTQ community is and giving space for everyone to express themself.

How the NDO passing makes this Pride special: I think it not only provides the protections needed, but is an open expression by the city to those here and those watching us that we are an open and inclusive place.

What he’s looking forward to about inperson celebrations: The parade!

Kyle Luebke

President of Log Cabin Republicans of North Carolina; Vice chair of The Plus Collective - Charlotte Mecklenburg’s LGBTQ+ Fund West Charlotte What Pride means to him: This is an interesting question because it has changed depending on my age. As a young man in my late teens and early 20s struggling to come to terms with my sexuality, the Pride season was a way for me to see my identity normalized and celebrated. My focus was on the parades and the parties. As an adult in my 30s, Pride season is instead an opportunity to connect with organizations and community members providing

in February with a mission: use our conservative principles to draft an ordinance ensuring these much needed protections. We spent multiple months talking with stakeholders and receiving feedback from local and state conservative leaders. We then released our proposal in June.

Though the eventual nondiscrimination ordinance passed by council wasn’t our specific draft, there are clearly influences from our proposal. And having a unanimous council made up of both Republicans and Democrats pass these protections shows me that I can celebrate not only Pride as an LGBTQ+ person, but that I can celebrate Pride as a proud gay conservative.

What he’s looking forward to about in-person celebrations: I think the Pride Pop-Up programming is what I am looking forward to. As a member of The Plus Collective, I am excited about reintroducing the organization to the Charlotte community.

This year, the Charlotte Lesbian and Gay Fund rebranded to The Plus Collective, and it is important to let people know about our continued mission in providing grants to LGBTQ+ and allied nonprofits in the Charlotte area.

Kyle Murray Uptown Charlotte

KYLE LUEBKE

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support to our community. Now, it is less about fun, but is instead about how I can give back to the community that has given so much to me.

As it relates to how Pride impacts the community, I see that it focuses on acceptance and normalization. It’s a recognition that LGBTQ+ people run the gamut in identity, politics, religion, and race or ethnicity. Showing the wide array of who is a part of our community breaks down stereotypes and judgment.

How the NDO passing makes this Pride special: As an active member of both the Charlotte and statewide Republican Party, this Pride season is especially special because it was Charlotte Republican Councilman Tariq Bokhari who first introduced a draft nondiscrimination ordinance protecting LGBTQ+ people in housing, employment and public accommodations. He came to me and a few other Young Republicans back

What Pride means to him: Pride means unity.

For years, it’s that one time a year, you know that everyone comes together to stand together in love and support. Pride makes a huge impact on the community, oftentimes these moments are the only time you see your friends and it’s often the perfect opportunity to ask your friends and family to join you. My mother attended Pride

BRENT LOWNEY

with me about two years ago in a “Free Mom Hug” like there is a small glimmer of hope for those that t-shirt, which ultimately had a huge impact on are discriminated against. the community as I grew up receiving hugs. Many What he’s looking forward to about indo not. person celebrations: Marching in the parade with the Royals. My family. Showing those that are questioning who they are that LGBTQIA+ looks different to everyone. Showing them that it’s OK to be who you are, no matter how many people have told you that you’re wrong.

Cameron Pruette

President, LGBTQ+ Democrats of Mecklenburg County East Charlotte; He/Him

KYLE MURRAY (LEFT) WITH HIS MOM AT PRIDE.

How the NDO passing makes this Pride special: It’s one of those “that is amazing” moments, but it’s only baby steps in the much bigger picture in the fight for equality and worth celebrating during this Pride season.

What he’s looking forward to about in-person celebrations: After last year’s cancelation, I’m most looking forward to the city of Charlotte showing love and including a group that’s often overlooked some much needed love & support.

I don’t think I’ll have my mother with me this year and that would have been the thing I looked forward to most!

What Pride means to him: Pride is a celebration of inclusion — an opportunity for the forgotten and the marginalized to be together. It builds community and visibility. It dispels the fear of the other and creates safer, more resilient neighborhoods, workplaces and cities. It’s a time for joy, in spite of our challenges and in recognition of our successes.

CAMERON PRUETTE

How the NDO passing makes this Pride special: After the still-healing scars of HB2 and the Charlotte Royals Rugby Football Club legislative assault from many Republicans on trans South Charlotte; He/Him kids, a unanimous, bipartisan vote affirmed the rights of LGBTQ+ people in Charlotte. This Pride is What Pride means to him: Pride a moment to celebrate the hard-won progress and means having a family no matter what highlight the journey still to go for so many. is going on with my actual family. I feel that Pride gives everyone else in the What he’s looking forward to about in-person community a sense of belonging and a celebrations: Charlotte is such a growing city, sense of family. and there are countless connections I’ve made over Zoom or Discord. I’m hopeful that a safe, in-person How the NDO passing makes this celebration can deepen those friendships, and I’m Pride special: It makes this Pride looking forward to a parade that celebrates the season feel like there is so much more diversity, acceptance and resilience of the LGBTQIA+ weight behind the festivities. It feels community.

Brent Lowney

Caroline Cave

One Voice Chorus South Charlotte; She/Her What Pride means to her: To me, it’s seeing the sheer number of people uplifting and validating each other. It’s indescribable to see the younger kids showing up in ways that were absolutely impossible for me to do in my youth.

What Pride means to him: It means we can I am also very excited for people to see all the fun communities and our progress, to me, Pride is still move closer to an America where we treat all of our activities we have planned for the Pop-Up Pride very much a civil rights movement. I’m grateful for those who continue to fight for equality. neighbors like neighbors & love thy neighbor! festival this year.

How the NDO passing makes this Pride special: Long overdue for a city that wants our professional & corporate world to view Charlotte as a serious modern major international city to live, work, & play — instead of just a big Southern city run by Barney Fife.

How the NDO passing makes this Pride special: Charlotte’s recent NDO expansion is certainly progress that we are celebrating! It’s important to remember though that, while an important milestone, this achievement is not the end of our journey.

Gladece Knights Charlotte Black Pride East Charlotte; She/Her

What they’re looking forward to about in-person celebrations: Celebrating the sacred identities of our LGBTQ+ siblings. We need each other, Pride is about people and I’m so thrilled to celebrate each other in person this year!

What he’s looking forward to about in-person celebrations: Pride parade.

Sarah Moore

Charlotte Pride festival and programs volunteer; GLSEN national student council member; TOY speaker’s bureau; Carolina Raptor Center West Charlotte; She/Her CAROLINE CAVE

How the NDO passing makes this Pride special: It feels like such a vindication! This community has achieved something monumental and we should relish it all the more this year. It’s the end of a hard-fought, hard-won battle and we get to explode our joy all over each other. We’re here, we’re queer and we’ve got the protections that we deserve!

What Pride means to her: Pride is a feeling of safety and belonging. It is a mutual understanding of how we are all connected. There is strength in community. We are all individuals brought together by a shared identity or passion. Pride has always felt like a space where I can feel seen and celebrated as myself in my entirety.

Delilah Turner-Nix

Case manager, Transcend Charlotte East Charlotte; She/Her

GLADECE KNIGHTS

What Pride means to her: Coming from a marginalized community, Pride in many ways is an opportunity to be seen, heard and celebrated.

How the NDO passing makes this Pride special: It is bittersweet. Bitter that we are still debating and struggling to obtain equal rights, transparency and accountability in 2021. But, it also makes this Pride season sweet to finally overcome the stigma of HB2 and to be moving in the right direction with the passing of Charlotte’s NDO.

What she’s looking forward to about in-person celebrations: Seeing how many more businesses/ groups/churches/politicians are comfortable and pleased to take part in our celebration than in years past.

Christian Cano

What she’s looking forward to about inperson celebrations: The sense of community.

Coffee & Pan Dulce Show South Charlotte, He/Him SARAH MOORE

What Pride means to her: Pride is recognition to me. Sometimes I wish there was a sign queer folx could wear that only other queer folx could see that said, “Hey, we’re family.” It can sometimes feel like I’m a lone rainbow person in a sea of cis/het people.

Pride includes allies of course, but only at Pride (and Scorpios) can I be surrounded by family. It’s the one time a year I’m assumed queer. And it’s a free feeling I can’t quite describe. To be authentically seen, it’s everything for me.

For the community, I feel it’s the same. We get to come together and show our identities and how powerful we are even outside of them. We are queer and successful business people. We are queer and great parents, etc.

That recognition by the rest of the world is freeing. That recognition of each other is comforting in a world where it isn’t always even safe to walk into a certain place.

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Bethany Corrigan

How the NDO passing makes this Pride special: Executive director, It’s a start and I hope the community does not let go Transcend Charlotte of this momentum.

Outside city limits; They/Them

CHRISTIAN CANO

What she’s looking forward to about inperson celebrations: As someone working behind the scenes, I am so excited for people to see what we have been working on. Especially for the Job Fair and Community Conference in November.

What Pride means to them: Pride began as a civil rights and social justice revolution. As much as Pride is a celebration of our

BETHANY CORRIGAN

How the NDO passing makes this Pride special: Transcend’s Executive Director Bethany Corrigan worked their ass off for that ordinance to pass.

From speaking to council members to speaking at the rally to encouraging

dignity, integrity, joy, courage, and in community with others without fear of being judged for who we are.

The impact can be an exciting and liberating celebration for so many who want nothing more than to be belonging, accepted, love, respect and community.

DELILAH TURNER-NIX

How the NDO passing makes this Pride special: Well, my answer is really simple; for at least, in the nine cities here in N.C. that have voted in favor of the ordinance, it gives those within the LGBTQIA community a sense of security, peace of mind and a freedom from the behaviors like discrimination and hate inflicted upon many within our communities for too many years — in particular towards Persons of Color. The nondiscrimination ordinance offers the kind of protection under the law for those in our community to be fairly treated as equals regardless of who they love or how an individual identifies. The ordinance provides the kind of assurance many so desperately deserves. It allows for the opportunity to feel safer according to the law.

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others to speak up. It’s special because, again, recognition. The discrimination that made this ordinance a necessity is being recognized. It exists.

The voices that have been saying it exists for years were recognized. Not just at Pride but the voices echoed throughout the city, all the way up to the mayor’s office. And that’s with some folx still being stealth. This Pride is going to be the celebration of that recognition. The community is powerful and What she’s looking forward to about inour voices are important. What are we going to do person celebrations: Oh wow, yessss — next? “opportunities.” Opportunities for community and connection — telling stories about our history as What she’s looking forward to about inan LGBTQ community so that we can celebrate our person celebrations: If I’m being honest, making friends. After a year of quarantining and talking to no end on those …*special meet up apps*… without the actual meeting part, I think I’m most excited to organically form a real friendship (sans the awkward “Hey” with a hand-wave emoji). I’m also excited to see all of Charlotte Pride’s unique firsttime events come together, like the popup prides!

past and plan for a better future. Pride allows us to come together to celebrate our wins, our culture and each other, all of which has enormous potential to build community and connection.

Mo Pirela

Creator of Solidarity & Co. East Charlotte; She/Her What Pride means to her: Pride means to embrace your sexuality, celebrate the freedom to explore and love who you want, regardless of gender norms or societal expectations. I believe this impacts the community by encouraging liberation and increasing representation for future generations.

How the NDO passing makes this Pride special: I feel relieved to know that I will be celebrating Pride in a city that has taken a stand against discrimination. There is more work to do for the community to feel secure and fully embraced, but Charlotte’s nondiscrimination ordinance is certainly a stride in the right direction.

MO PIRELA

What she’s looking forward to about in-person celebrations: It’s the drag shows and creativity for me! I am excited to see the drag queens’ performances and the overall creativity that is rampant within our community.

KSIMMONS@QCNERVE.COM

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September 7, 14 or 21

We’re ! singing again

Rev. Debra J. Hopkins There’s Still Hope Charlotte East Charlotte; She/Her

What Pride means to her: Pride for me is about inclusion and celebrating diversity, difference and ultimately who we are. Pride is about living our lives with

REV. DEBRA J. HOPKINS

onevoicechorus.com for more info

ARTS FEATURE

THE SILK ROAD Kenny Nguyen’s art is an epic tale sculpted with silk

BY LIZ LOGAN

After a decade-long process, Kenny Nguyen and his family — father, mother, two sisters — made their way to the United States from Vietnam in 2010. The visa process, prompted by Nguyen’s uncle who runs a successful insurance business out of the Asian Corner Mall on North Tryon Street, took the family roughly 10 years, ending in 2010, when Nguyen was a 20-year-old university student working in fashion design.

Though his time working with a design company was, as Nguyen says, a “short moment in [his] career,” it was a formative moment, shaping the way Nguyen would express himself when he moved to Charlotte, without knowing the language, with no connections beyond that of his immediate family.

He would become use his experience to become a visual multimedia artist.

On Aug. 27, Nguyen will retrace his life’s path through art as one of 10 artists featured in the Brooklyn Collective’s upcoming show, Reconstructing Deconstruction, which tells stories of cultural heritage, from breaking down to rebuilding, acting as a mirror of each individual journey.

It’s an exhibit that appears to be made for Nguyen, who deconstructs silk garments and rebuilds them into creatively painted sculptures.

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A cultural fiber

After first arriving in Charlotte, Nguyen would join his family on trips to the Mint Museum. Unable to speak the language, he allowed the artists’ work to speak to him. His family has always been supportive of his work, as they are drawn to “the appreciation of beautiful things,” Nguyen says. “It’s a connector.”

As Nguyen explored mediums of his own, he found himself working in silk, a fabric with significant cultural implications. Moving from

Vietnam, his life before now seems like a distant memory, one he can almost access when working in a fabric that is so close to home.

As he worked to translate his story into his work, he began to study silk’s complex association with its cultural roots across Asia, including Vietnam.

French rule over the country from 1887-1954 (with a brief four-year break in the 1940s) affected all facets of Vietnamese culture from agriculture to art. Though Vietnam had produced silk for centuries prior, Vietnamese artists of the early 20th century (primarily 1925-1945) began producing nowfamous works utilizing silk canvas, the painting influenced by but distinguished from those in China

to recall some of the memories he’s lost along the way.

“Silk is a surprising fabric,” Nguyen says. “It’s delicate yet strong. To destroy a piece of silk is a breakthrough — you just have to do it even though you really don’t want to and push the limits of the material. Something new might come out of it, something more exciting.”

It was through this process, before he had the words his English-speaking peers could understand, that Nguyen told the story of his rebirth as a Vietnamese immigrant, ripping himself away from his culture and rebuilding himself in a strange and unexpected way, his personal identities evolving over time.

use something so flawless and do something new with it.”

Nguyen has spent his entire life chasing the American Dream, regardless of whether or not it was his intention.

“It’s such a mixed feeling,” he says. “You don’t belong here but you’re kind of bonded in a way.”

In the 10 years he’s been here, Nguyen has yet to return to Vietnam. He says he’s not quite ready to go back just yet.

“It’s such a strange feeling,” he says. “I’m not Vietnamese anymore but I’m not American; I don’t belong to this culture or traditional Vietnamese culture. I’ve made this my home but it’s always changing.

“People in Vietnam always have a dream about America, like ‘If we have a chance to move, we are going’ but you never know if your file will go through, you don’t know where you’re going to be. It’s all so uncertain.”

Nguyen sees how the communist government filtered the art of Vietnam and still holds the belief that being in America — his opportunities at UNC followed by his various residency opportunities — has allowed him his own version of the American Dream.

But, like a piece from his current exhibit with the Brooklyn Collective of the same name, the fabric of his past has been ripped to shreds, covered, hardened, painted and remolded, the words “American Dream” distorted, barely visible, unless you happen to know where to look.

Nguyen’s journey

KENNY NGUYEN WORKING IN HIS STUDIO PHOTO BY PATRICK CAUSEY

and Japan with a heavy French influence.

Silk was stretched to form a canvas, scenes of traditional Vietnamese life painted delicately from organic materials, the art form becoming somewhat synonymous with Vietnamese culture.

In what could be seen as a revolutionary approach, Nguyen began to rip silk into thousands of pieces, soaking them in paint, rebuilding the delicate material into a malleable medium from which he constructs sculptures. It’s a meditative experience, allowing space to process memories, developing them into a visual language, hoping

“I felt like nothing,” he says. “Now I feel like my voice is the only presence in the art itself.”

Prior to his 2010 move, Nguyen would get lost in the process of design as he sculpted silk into evening gowns and wedding dresses, the body of the wearer acting as a canvas, the silk his medium.

With fine art he found more freedom to use the materials abstractly, keeping with the flow of sculpting elegant gowns absent of a body through the antithetical process of destruction.

“Silk is a rich cultural material,” Nguyen says.

“It is a ‘perfection material’. It was a jump for me to

The journey from Vietnam to the United States was sudden, though expected. Nguyen grew up being told he was going to move to the U.S. The idea floated around with no definite time frame, the Nguyen family living life as normal, despite numerous trips to Vietnam’s U.S. Embassy to prove themselves worthy of a visa via formal interviews and a collection of documents. There was a sense of impermanence, that their life in Vietnam could be upended at any moment, should their imploring of the embassy be actualized.

Life in Vietnam was a drastic contrast to what Nguyen would eventually experience in the United States. The family lived on a coconut farm in South Vietnam near the Delta, where there was no

ARTS FEATURE

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electricity until 1998. Nguyen’s father would take the three children to school by boat, traveling by river to the next village for the children’s education.

“There were no roads to really connect the land,” Nguyen says. “I lived in the jungle for real.”

In the 1800s, after roughly a century of French missionary presence, the French colonized Vietnam, claiming it a “civilizing mission,” which in essence exploited land and people for profit in the name of industrial progress. It was out of this era that sugar cane, coffee and coconut farms, like the land of Nguyen’s childhood, came to prominence.

In response, Ho Chi Minh began a campaign of communism and nationalism which he believed would unite the country in the face of colonization, but instead brought on the 1954 division into North and South Vietnam, leading to the eventual outbreak of the Vietnam War. Nguyen was born after the war’s 1975 end, though those in his parents’s generation watched as the conflict and subsequent government response unfolded. Nguyen’s uncle was trapped in Vietnam where, as a former employee of the South Vietnam government, he endured life in the communist government’s re-education camps. Nguyen says his uncle saw more than half of his fellow prisoners killed.

A CLOSEUP OF NGUYEN AT WORK. PHOTO BY PATRICK CAUSEY

“My uncle was very lucky to get out,” Nguyen says. “They told him ‘You are too ‘jungle era’. Go back to chopping wood.’”

While many fled the country by boat, Nguyen’s uncle was one of nearly half a million Vietnamese who were brought to the U.S. through Humanitarian Operation, a subset of the Orderly Departure Program. In 1990, the U.S. became his permanent home.

As his family worked to provide embassy staff with photos, documents, correspondence and any proof that his stateside-residing uncle was their legitimate family, Nguyen continued his education, working in fashion and finding himself fascinated with silk and canvas. Then, in 2010, the upending he both desired and dreaded materialized.

“I’d just started school and had this part-time job in fashion and suddenly we started to move,” Nguyen says.

The process was alienating. After beginning an independent creative life for himself in the only country he’d known, Nguyen was thrust into American society with no working knowledge of the language, no one with whom he could communicate aside from his family.

NGUYEN USES DECONSTRUCTED SILK AND PAINT TO CREATE. It was through this sudden ARTWORK BY KENNY NGUYEN

shock and drastic change in environment that Nguyen struggled to start over. For the first couple months, he’d join his uncle at his office in the Asain Corner Mall, the only place he could mingle with people who spoke his language and were familiar with the life he’d just left.

The mall became a reprieve from the unfamiliar, filled on the weekends with other Vietnamese Americans, some driving an hour or more to catch up on grocery shopping for items they couldn’t find elsewhere, filing away paperwork with the help of those who spoke their language. Nguyen used these fleeting moments to feel more connected to his community.

“I felt isolated living here the first couple of years and it became one of my biggest fears,” Nguyen says. He realized that in order to embrace

this change, he had to start somewhere.

A cousin owned a nail salon and Nguyen took a job cleaning, listening in as customers spoke, picking up English bit by bit. Some, he says, “were nice enough to help [him] learn,” though he strived to learn on his own.

In his time alone, Nguyen found himself drawn to the canvas, creating art as a modality for visual storytelling when oratory was not an option. This life experience — living on a farm accessible almost exclusively by boat, a lifetime spent awaiting their impending move followed by the sudden uprooting to a foreign country — was a story Nguyen needed to tell. It was in art that he found his voice.

After two years of being in the states, Nguyen again enrolled in a local university, this time in UNC-Charlotte’s Fine Arts program where he began to implement and weave together the stories of his past, finding a common thread in the narrative of his time in Vietnam and his story of immigration, exploring ways to tell the story of his past and present as they seamlessly coalesced into one.

Through Reconstructing Deconstruction, he’ll be able to express that idea in a way he could once only dream of.

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THU-SUN09_02 - 09_05 MY NAME IS NOT MOM

After helping millions of fans get through the pandemic, internet sensations Tiffany Jenkins, Meredith Masony and Dena Blizzard present a journey through motherhood, including their takes on the sleepless nights of the toddler years, middle school craziness and trying not to physically attack a high schooler. Stand-up, stories and videos from the trio’s online community and audience interaction promise to create an up close and personal experience that’s funnier than a pap smear.

More: $30-$55; Sept. 2–5, times vary; The Comedy Zone, 900 N.C. Music Factory Blvd.; cltcomedyzone.com

DAVITA GALLOWAY (HAUTE ASIKO FASHION SHOW) Photo by Surf Mitchell

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HAUTE ASIKO FASHION SHOW

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Curated by Dupp&Swatt co-founder Davita Galloway, The Haute Asiko Fashion Show features a diversity of local designers with a range of aesthetics. This art-and-fashion event fuses sustainable materials and contemporary urban culture with various sewing and appliqué techniques. Asiko is a Yourba term that means “fashionable.” While highlighting the art of fashion and design, Haute Asiko will also include a blend of music, culinary arts and signature cocktails. After the show, guests will have an opportunity to shop directly with a variety of local artists and artisans.

More: $10-$20; Aug. 27, 7 p.m.; Gantt Center; 551 S. Tryon St.; ganttcenter.org

ELIZABETH KOWALSKI (REVOLUTION) Photo by Brian Twitty

8/29

‘THIS IS MY BRAIN ON ANXIETY’ Press Photo

8/28

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Subtitled “The Detailed Experience of an Anxious, Black Woman,” This is My Brain on Anxiety seems to be taking a thematic page from Tyler Perry’s Diary of a Mad Black Woman. But the five-part original production promises to go deeper, unraveling and revealing the personal and cultural journey of a black woman dealing with anxiety. Through the art of storytelling, immersive graphics and audience participation, Mia Love chronicles her experiences.

More: $20-$25; Aug. 28, 5 p.m. & 7 p.m.; Duke Energy Theater; 130 N. Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org

Charlotte New Music mastermind Elizabeth Kowalski curates a mix of string quartet and electronic music, promising “a chill evening sipping fresh craft beer, soaked in exquisite sound … worlds created by a rockin’ string quartet and electronics.” All the music is created and played by women. Transforming the traditional classical string quartet experience, each work challenges and surprises the audience with percussive elements, improvisation, electronic soundscapes, even children’s toys, alternating between the serene, electric and absurd.

More: $15-$25; Aug. 29, 7 p.m.; Heist Brewery and Barrel Arts; 1030 Woodward Ave.; heistbrewery.com

We don’t say this often, but Jake Blount’s 2020 album Spider Tales is a masterpiece. For his debut full-length, queer African-American banjoist and fiddler Blount unearthed a trove of primarily African-American blues, shuffles and fiddle tunes that provide an alternate history of folk music. In Spider Tales, which draws its title from Anansi, the trickster spider who outwits oppressors in West African folklore, shockwaves of brutality and subjugation echo like a field holler across the centuries, ranging from enslaved people working 19th-century plantations to the protests against police violence today.

More: $15; Aug. 31, 7:30 p.m.; Evening Muse, 3227 N. Davidson St.; eveningmuse.com

‘THIS IS MY BRAIN ON ANXIETY’

REVOLUTION

JAKE BLOUNT

JAKE BLOUNT Photo by Michelle Lotker

8/31

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Metalcore and technical hardcore outfit Wizard Rifle claim they can’t sit sonically still for more than two seconds as they draw from the sounds of Lightning Bolt, Karp, Black Sabbath and Sonic Youth. The real treat here is seeing the local trio of heavy-metal musicians Den of Wolves coming back out to play.

Here at Queen City Nerve we’ve praised brothers Tristan and Khalil England as metal iconoclasts who shake up their mix of harsh vocals, technical riffs and whiplash time signature changes with swinging jazzy drums.

More: $8; Aug. 31, 9:30 pm; Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St.; snugrock.com

In the course of her prolific and poetic career, Ndegeocello has scooped up a living cauldron of disparate music that would slip through the cracks like quicksilver in lesser hands. She’s merged and morphed hip-hop, soul and rock into a brainy and cosmic cousin of R&B that the world has still not caught up with. In 2018, she tackled cover versions of other’s songs with her album Ventriloquism, granting tunes like Sade’s “Smooth Operator” their inherent dignity while also stretching their DNA into cubist configurations. Rarely have radio hits possessed such alien beauty.

More: $27.50 and up; Sept. 1, 7:30 p.m.; McGlohon Theater; 130 N. Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org

WIZARD RIFLE, DEN OF WOLVES

MESHELL NDEGEOCELLO

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Participants have gathered their crews, casts and imaginations to create a host of short films in the span of two days. In its eighth year of hosting an international filmmaking competition, the 48 Hour Film Project will screen the best of Charlotte’s 2021 submissions. At the end of the night, film aficionados will meet the filmmakers and learn who will go on to represent Charlotte among 100-plus other cities around the world for a chance to screen their work at Festival de Cannes 2022.

More: $12; Sept. 3, 6:30 p.m.; McGlohon Theater; 130 N. Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org

It will be interesting to see what Solomon Tetteh, better known as rapper Black Linen, will spring on the public under the banner of “friends.” In the past, Black Linen has been more than generous when it comes to sharing the love with up-andcoming artists. His 2017 release Black Linen II featured a wide-ranging cast of Charlotte-based artists including the experimental neosoul singers Bri Blvck and Jessika Shaunnelle and fellow rappers Nige Hood and Tetteh’s younger brother Goldie.

More: $7-$10; Sept. 4, 8 pm; Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave.; petrasbar.com/

48 HOUR FILM PROJECT: BEST OF SCREENING

DEN OF WOLVES Photo by Connor Schlosser/Obcvre Photography

8/31

BLACK LINEN AND FRIENDS

LIFEHOUSE (HOPS & HOGS FESTIVAL) Press Photo

WEEKEND

WEEKEND

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HOPS & HOGS FESTIVAL

Early 2000s pop rock juggernaut Lifehouse tops the bill in the first show of this two-day festival devoted to tunes, brew and BBQ. By fusing the signifiers of grunge — in this case singer-songwriter Jason Wade’s gruff throaty vocals — to slick, commercial and rocking pop songs, Lifehouse lends gravitas to their soaring ear candy. Day two of the fest steps back a decade with headliner 311. This quintet mixes reggae, hip-hop, funk and metal in a rhythmic hybrid that made the band top dog throughout the early ’90s rap-rock boom.

More: $35-$60; Sept. 4-5; Park Expo Center, 2500 E. Independence Blvd.; hopsandhogsfest.com

MESHELL NDEGEOCOLLO Press Photo

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MUSIC FEATURE

Drummer O’Brien hopes fans of the band’s earlier music will keep an open mind toward the fresh material on the new album. He thinks they’ll hear three players that have matured as musicians and songwriters, while pulling together to improve as a band.

The advance single for the album, “Peace of Mind,” Jail Socks release debut draws on the soaring guitars, propulsive rhythms album and discover a new and aching vulnerability the band established lease on life on previous releases, ramping up those elements to craft a spacious, anthemic guitar-driven tune

BY PAT MORAN with an arrangement that sounds just right while incorporating inventive twists and turns. Jail Socks As Aidan Yoh tells it, Jail Socks began with a rips through the rocking, plaintive three-minute song bang — quite a few of them, actually. Years before with nary a wasted chord, drumbeat or howl.

Yoh became guitarist and colead vocalist for pop punk trio Jail Socks, he was 16 years old, getting into trouble with his friends by shooting off fireworks from the roof of a middle school.

“I ended up getting arrested,” Yoh says. “I got charged with two felonies — for stupid stuff.”

Yoh was booked and told to hand over his clothes to his jailer.

The only item he didn’t give up was his favorite pair of socks.

All night, Yoh paced the grimy floor of his cell in his prized socks, which quickly became indescribably filthy. By 4 a.m., Yoh was deliriously tired. He became convinced that he could never wear that pair of socks again.

“They were my jail socks” he says. “They were bad luck.”

The cursed socks became a joke, one that eventually transformed into the name JAIL SOCKS (FROM LEFT): COLMAN O’BRIEN, JAKE THOMAS AND AIDAN YOH. of Yoh’s band. But Jail Socks, a melodic, emo-tinged punky power trio comprised Growing pains and placeholders of Yoh, drummer Colman O’Brien and bassist Jake Today, Yoh shares lyric writing chores with Thomas, didn’t explode upon the local music scene bassist Thomas, but in Jail Socks’ early days, he was directly after Yoh’s ill-considered fireworks display. the primary songwriter. Many of those songs were To get where it is today, Jail Socks had to go through fueled by the compressed, foregrounded nostalgia a nearly four-year growth period that included a people often feel as they move out of their teens and line-up change, a record label switch and a musical into their 20s, a time when experiences are deeply and artistic rejuvenation with the right producer. felt and long remembered.

The three-piece band releases their first full “A lot of the music I write is nostalgia-based and length album, Coming Down, on Sept. 3 and is [about] coming to terms with growing up,”Yoh says. He preparing for a fall tour that will take them to points out that he is now 21, and he started seriously Brooklyn, Chicago, San Antonio and many points in making music at 17. “A lot changes in those years.” between.

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A NEWFOUND FREEDOM

Yoh was primed to appreciate music long before that pivotal period. Although he was born in Mechanicsburgh, Pennsylvania, his family moved to Charlotte when he was 4 years old. His parents weren’t musicians, but they kept a musical household.

“My dad grew up a punk and my mom was a goth kid,” Yoh says. As he grew up, Yoh’s tastes progressed through commercial alt rock of the 2000s like Limp Bizkit and System of a Down into heavy metal, before he embraced emo in his high school years. This was also the time when Yoh’s run-in with the law provided him with a temporary band name that never went away.

Yoh formed the first version of Jail Socks as a

“[Punk] seemed so accessible,” O’Brien says.

“I thought, ‘This seems easy to play, and [it’s] the coolest music I’ve ever heard.’”

O’Brien dove headfirst into his newfound musical obsession and surfaced in Placeholder. On June 14, 2018, Jail Socks and Placeholder released a split seven-inch EP. The track list consisted of two songs by Placeholder and two by Jail Socks.

“On the split seven-inch, Jake and myself were playing on the Placeholder side of the seven-inch, and Aidan and the drummer were playing on the Jail Socks side,” O’Brien offers.

Both bands began touring behind the EP, and O’Brien gradually shifted from playing in Placeholder to playing in Jail Socks. Thomas shortly followed suit. Placeholder dissolved as O’Brien and Thomas shifted their energy and creative focus toward playing with Yoh. The new Jail Socks lineup became official by August 2018.

“We felt more creatively fulfilled doing Jail Socks,” O’Brien says. The band’s new lineup gelled, with everyone sharing a dedication to making music and being a successful band. The band’s bond extends to day-today living, as all three members currently share an apartment in Charlotte.

In some ways, the band’s first release with the current lineup, the six-song EP It’s Not Forever, which dropped in September 2019, was the last collection of material heard from what Yoh calls “the old Jail Socks.” Yoh had already written most of the songs on the EP before O’Brien PHOTO BY NICK LEWIS and Thomas came into the band. Although the drummer two-piece comprised of himself and a drummer. That and bassist contributed musical input, a large part lineup released the single “No Promises” as an online of practice sessions consisted of Yoh showing his demo in January 2018. In the meantime, Yoh had bandmates how the songs went. become a fan of a local band called Placeholder. He With increased input from O’Brien and Thomas, was particularly impressed with the band’s drummer, the songwriting dynamic and the band’s sound Colman O’Brien, and its bassist, Jake Thomas. changed. As Jail Socks prepped the EP, the band Unlike Yoh, O’Brien was born and raised in members decided to hold on to their newer songs Charlotte, and he grew up in a family that was only for a future project, and release just the older Yohmarginally interested in music. Early on, he went penned material on the EP. against the familial grain. Through skateboarding, “We just took what we considered to be the old O’Brien discovered the power of punk, the pastime’s Jail Socks sound and put that on the EP to get that soundtrack. out there,” Yoh says.

MUSIC FEATURE

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Perspective and inspiration

A shift becomes apparent on the material developed after It’s Not Forever. Yoh’s lyrics and his point of view were deepening and becoming richer.

“I’ve seen Aidan grow from 17 to 21, not only as a person, but as a songwriter as well,” says O’Brien, who is 24 years old. “[The songs] are storytelling from someone who is becoming an adult.”

Yoh agrees that his lyrics have grown in maturity.

“On It’s Not Forever, a lot of it’s about putting the blame on other people for bad shit going on in life,” Yoh says. “With Coming Down, growing up is realizing, ‘Oh, I can be a shitty person too, and some of this is my fault.’”

Another shift in the new album’s outlook is due to an added perspective. While Yoh was sole vocalist in the past, Jail Socks now bills itself as a group with dual lead vocalists.

Yoh and Thomas split lead vocal duties on the new record, and Thomas contributes lyrics. The listener gets Thomas’ take on his experiences, as well as Yoh’s musings on his life.

It’s a shift that helps catapult Jail Socks’ songs to the universal while remaining tethered to the personal.

When it came time to develop material for Coming Down, the band decided to take a more collaborative approach to songwriting. Before they had the album written, the band members set aside time to record material at their practice space in Huntersville.

They met for day-long sessions where they would try to write songs together. A lot of the lyrics were written in the studio, a collaboration between Yoh and Thomas.

“We were trying to get more than one person’s ideas on the table,” Yoh says.

O’Brien and Thomas would act as co-songwriters, suggesting arrangements, vocal melodies, riffs or chord changes. The goal was to relieve Yoh of the burden of producing an entire album’s worth of material.

After the band had worked out the arrangements, they recorded full demos of each of the songs, O’Brien says.

The plan was to go into another studio with the completed demos, and then re-record the songs as written and arranged while adding some production polish.

It didn’t work out that way.

Jail Socks took their demos to The Barber Shop Studios in Hopatcong, New Jersey, to work with

producer Brett Romnes from Aug. 17 through Sept.

5, 2020.

Romnes is also an audio engineer, mixer, multiinstrumentalist and songwriter who plays with Brooklyn-based punk band I Am the Avalanche.

Working with him proved to be a revelation for Jail Socks. Yoh says the producer brought an entirely new perspective to the table.

“It changed our lives as musicians,” Yoh says. “[Romnes] understands the kind of music we want to be making, because he comes from the poppunk world,” O’Brien says.

Any notions the band had that they were just going to show up and record the album the way they had done the demos went out the window.

Sessions would start with the band and producer listening to one of the prerecorded demos.

Romnes would jot down notes through the first listen. Then he would jump up, tell the guys to grab their instruments and start reworking the songs.

Everything — changing arrangements, shortening parts, lengthening parts, doing double choruses — was on the table.

O’Brien credits Romnes with bringing Jail Socks’ music to a new level in terms of songwriting, harmonies, vocal melodies and layering.

“We ended up thinking, ‘I can’t believe we almost recorded the album the way that it was, because all these songs are a million times better,’” O’Brien says.

Yoh, O’Brien and Thomas came away believing what they once dismissed as a rock music cliché: The producer really was like another member of the band.

Yoh says Romnes pushed the band to do more than they thought they could.

“It just made us feel like we were capable of more,” he says. “It was inspiring.”

Old time rock ‘n’ roll

Not all of Jail Socks’ inspirations are as paradigmshifting as the methods used in their collaboration with Romnes.

While writing Coming Down, Yoh says he revived his enthusiasm for what he affectionately calls “shitty ’90s big alt-rock bands,” heavy yet hookladen bands like Matchbox 20 and Third Eye Blind.

The band wasn’t afraid to do things they liked because of what someone might think, a consideration that may have hampered their choices in the past. Instead, Jail Socks went all out, using wah-wah pedals and chorus pedals, and throwing heroic guitar solos onto songs. Yoh even consciously copied the guitar tone off of Third Eye Blind’s self-

titled debut record for Coming Down.

“I feel like we got into the tongue-in-cheek nature of rock ‘n’ roll,” Yoh says.

“We’re digging deeper, and we wanted to have more of a pop sensibility to the songwriting, because we love that kind of stuff,” O’Brien says.

With an unencumbered view of what they can do musically, plus a renewed sense of rock ‘n’ roll fun, Jail Socks looks forward to the release of their most adventurous music to date.

At the same time, a few business matters have been wrapped up. In May, the band severed its ties to its first label, No Sleep Records, and signed with Counter Intuitive Records. The band’s fall tour kicks off Nov. 12 in Greenville, South Carolina.

For touring purposes, Yoh and O’Brien feel the band is ideally located in Charlotte, strategically situated to tour up and down the East Coast easily, while vital markets like Nashville remain within striking distance.

This tour marks the first time Jail Socks will play in

Brooklyn and Chicago. In many of their stops, it is the first time the band will play 200- to 300-seat clubs as opposed to house parties or other D.I.Y. spaces.

Yoh and O’Brien express their concern about preparing a tour in a landscape still ravaged by the ongoing COVID pandemic, but they’re also philosophical about life’s slings and arrows.

“It all feels so up in the air about what’s going to happen,” Yoh says.

“I’m just crossing my fingers and hoping for the best at this point.” O’Brien says.

He says he’s not worried if the clubs the band plays are restricted to half or even quarter capacity.

After surviving the 2020 shutdown, the band is just happy to play for audiences in a beer-and-sweatsoaked club.

With far more sincerity than irony, Yoh makes a rock ‘n’ roll pronouncement: “If five people are there and they give a shit...” “...Then it’s worth it,” O’Brien concludes.

JAIL SOCKS SPOTIFY CODE

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MUSIC SOUNDWAVE

AUGUST 25

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Hipgnostic (Neighborhood Theatre) A dynamic rhythm section supports twin frontmen: cosmic-fire MC Bearcat Kringle and gnarled prophet singer-guitarist Boss Jones.

Yatra, Krvsade, Morganton (The Milestone) Despite their name, thrash-punk-metal trio Morganton are from Monroe.

No Future Residency: Nerve Endings, Beechwood, The Girls & DJs Fat Keith Richards + Needles & Pins (Snug Harbor) Snug’s free punk shows every Wednesday in August bring down the curtain with a garage-punk combo from Tennessee/Virginia bordertown Bristol and an NYC band that trades in streetwise, darkling shimmering rock.

Joshua Lee Turner (Visulite) Brooklyn-based multi-instrumentalist, singer, songwriter and producer Joshua Lee Turner has been posting eclectic covers and originals on YouTube since he turned 15 years old.

Bryce Vine (Fillmore) Rapper Bryce Vine first ventured into music in 2011 when he auditioned for The Glee Project. A year later, he signed with record label Kiva House Lambroza and had released his debut EP Lazy Fair.

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

Tyra Scott (Middle C Jazz) Tyra Scott sings Barbra Streisand, accompanied by the Sean Higgins Trio.

AUGUST 26

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ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Shiprocked! Luau (Snug Harbor) The legendary dance party curated by Scott Weaver takes a tropical turn.

Roman Candles, D•A•L•I•A (Petra’s) Fronted by singer, songwriter and guitarist Grey Revell, Roman Candles craft some of the most intricate and emotionally direct rock today.

Stop the Presses, The Bleeps, Chevy Pinkeye, Flat Out Insult (The Milestone) New York City ska sextet Stop the Presses shares a stage with Charlotte punk band The Bleeps.

The Rhythm and Drone Appreciation Society: Veldt, It’s Snakes, the Mystery Plan, Candy Coffins, Lazarus Pit, That Guy Smitty (Visulite) A night of contemporary psychedelia.

The Righteous Brothers (Knight Theater) With a string of #1 classics, including the chestnut, “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’,” blue-eyed soul pioneers The Righteous Brothers topped the charts in four decades.

Bakalao Stars (US National Whitewater Center) Playing a mix of ska, funk, cumbia, salsa and rock, Bakalao Stars are giants in North Carolina’s rock en espanol scene.

Carolina Waves Showcase and Open Mic (Evening Muse) The two-time winners for Indy Week’s Best Open Mic, Carolina Waves returns to Charlotte.

Abby Bryant and the Echoes (US National Whitewater Center) This boisterous brassy band has performed as Downtown Abby and the Echoes, but under any name, the group is a roots rock revelation.

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Brothers Osbourne (CMCU Amphitheatre) The Osbourne brothers play a forward-looking brand of country that tips its hat to the outlaw past while embracing the polyglot present.

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

Noel Freidline & Maria Howell (Middle C Jazz) Vocal powerhouse Howell teams with Freidline for Saturday in the Park, a jazz tribute to the music of Chicago.

AUGUST 27

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Trash Room, Handi-Capitalists, Longshot Odds (Tommy’s Pub) Trash Room is a female-fronted earsplitting anarchist punk combo.

My Morning Jacket (CMCU Amphitheatre) Kentucky superstars combine country twang with rock roar in a style that embraces indie rock and alt country.

Deep Fried Disco: That Guy Smitty, Vonfunkhauser, Mal Funk Shun, Spaceboy (Snug Harbor) A self-described purveyor of cosmic grooves, That Guy Smitty is a Charlotte legend.

The Fill Ins, Silver Tongue Devils, Stop Talking (The Milestone) North Carolina punk rock and hardcore trio Stop Talking contains members of Biggy Stardust And His Wretched Hive, The Dead Kings and The Penitentials.

Emmaline (Evening Muse) This 21-year-old singer-songwriter possessing a smoky, jazz-infused, genre-fluid voice admirable as much for the range of traditional sounds she draws upon, as for her startling freshness.

Fonseca and Cepeda (Ovens Auditorium) Colombian superstars of Latin music Fonseca and Andrés Cepeda hit the road on an international tour.

Chris Tomlin, Kari Jobe, Bethel Music (PNC Pavilion) A triple bill of faith-based Christian pop stars.

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

Noel Freidline & Maria Howell (Middle C Jazz) Saturday in the Park is not in a park and takes place over a full weekend.

AUGUST 28

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Brad Paisley (PNC Pavilion) Besides being a country megastar, Paisley is noted for his expert guitar technique and sly sense of humor.

Mucho Gumbo Trio (Tommy’s Pub) Roots music with Cajun and Creole spices.

Jack Symes, Temme Scott(Evening Muse) On his sprawling new record, Tompkins Park, Jack Symes makes his case as one of folk music’s most compelling new artists.

Pressing Strings (US National Whitewater Center) Pressing Strings plays a blend of Indie, folk, and soul.

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Knowne Ghost, Raygun Superstar, Anchor Detail(Petra’s) Knowne Ghost is a Cornelius indie-rock combo that incorporates simplicity with memorable melodic textures.

Reflect//Refine, Fault Union, Imprint, The Dirty Low Down (The Milestone) Gastonia-based metalcore quintet fault Union rub shoulders with Charlotte, North Carolina alternativerock/post-hardcore/pop-punkers The Dirty Low Down.

Alright, Modern Moxie, Dipstick (Snug Harbor) Built upon the core of married couple, and founders of Self Aware Records, Josh Robbins and Sarah Blumenthal, Alright delivers the kind of raw, powerful and catchy-as-hell pop punk that should be all over Spotify, Apple Music, etc.

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

Noel Freidline & Maria Howell (Middle C Jazz) Saturday in the Park, continued.

AUGUST 29

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Wes And The Railroaders, Family Friend (Tommy’s Pub) Consummate guitarist and pedal steel player Wes Hamilton evokes a juke joint or roadside honky tonk with down to earth country music story-songs.

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

October, Preppen Barium, Venus Invictus, Harriet Rip (The Milestone) It’s a meeting of sludge-punk minds when riffing NC sludge-punk and hardcore quartet October hit the stage with Charlotte sludge punk trio Harriet Rip.

AUGUST 30

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Hellfire Choir, Rickshaw Billie’s Burger Patrol, DuMpSter SeRVice (Tommy’s Pub) Formed in a crusty Charlotte basement in 2018, The Hellfire Choir marries hardcore and metal-influenced instrumentalists with a gritty rockabilly-blues inspired vocalist.

Butcher Babies (Neighborhood Theatre) L.A. metalcore outfit Butcher Babies are renowned for passionate performances with explosive energy.

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s) A rotating crew of top jazz players pay tribute to Charlotte’s godfather of jazz, keeping his legacy alive each and every Monday night.

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Find Your Muse Open Mic featuring Liz Frame & the Kickers (Evening Muse) Boston-based singer-songwriter Frame has absorbed the influence of her parent’s heartland heroes — Jimmie Rogers, B.B. King and Elvis Presley.

AUGUST 31

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Wizard Rifle, Den of Wolves (Snug Harbor) Charlotte metal trio Dan of Wolves are metal iconoclasts who shake up their mix of harsh vocals, technical riffs and whiplash time signature changes with swinging jazzy drums.

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Jake Blount Trio (Evening Muse) For his debut full length, queer African-American banjoist and fiddler Blount unearthed a trove of primarily African-American blues, shuffles and fiddle tunes that provide an alternate history of folk music.

The White Buffalo (Neighborhood Theatre) The White Buffalo is singer, songwriter and storyteller Jake Smith. He’s an Emmy-nominated artist with a a timber shaking baritone of gravitas and gravel.

SEPTEMBER 1 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Tosco Music Open Mic (Evening Muse) Starting with an open singalong circle where everyone who wants to can strum along.

MUSIC SOUNDWAVE RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B

Meshell Ndegeocello (McGlohon Theater) In the course of her prolific and poetic career, Ndegeocello has merged and morphed hip-hop, soul and rock into a brainy and cosmic cousin of R&B that the world has still not caught up with.

SEPTEMBER 2 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Electric Kif (Evening Muse) Miami-based power quartet explores the boundaries between rock, jazz fusion and electronic drum & bass.

Dorian Gris, Careless Romantic (Petra’s) Charlotte’s Dorian Gris is an alternative Latino rock group with punk undertones.

SEPTEMBER 3 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Rhet Price (Evening Muse) Hip-hop Violinist Rhett Price studied Texas fiddle music followed by a Berklee College of Music education. His playing style and tendencies have created a voice of his own.

Hedonistas, Deltaphonic (Evening Muse) Hedonistas is a five-piece funk/pop/rock band from Atlanta.

Patois Counselors, Zaat, Acne, Mutant Strain (The Milestone) Charlotte’s legendary post-punk pop-rock ensemble Patois Counselors top the bill.

ASG, Cosmic Reaper, Totally Slow (Snug Harbor) With their album Casual Drag, Greensboro punk band Totally Slow has released their most powerful and melodic set of songs yet.

Hey Revolver, The Body Bags, Lil Skritt (Tommy’s Pub) Hey Revolver is a punk band from Winston-Salem.

RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B

Rod Wave (CMCU Amphitheatre) Gruff voiced, sweet-natured rapper and master storyteller Rod Wave broke through with his charttopping album SoulFly.

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SEPTEMBER 4

RAP/HIP-HOP/SOUL/FUNK/R&B

Black Linen and Friends (Petra’s) Pay attention to the “and friends” part of the billing.

Solomon Tetteh, better known as rapper Black Linen, is generous when it comes to sharing the love with other artists.

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Red Dress Amy, The New Creatures (Evening Muse) Red Dress Amy draws on influences such as Cream, Jimi Hendrix, The Black Keys, and The White Stripes to

cultivate their gritty, high-octane rock n’ roll.

Written in Gray, Sludge Muffin, Annabel Lee, Home For the Day (The Milestone) The evocatively named Sludge Muffin is a dirty stoner doom mixture from Winston-Salem.

Jaggermouth, The Business People, Pie Face Girls (Snug Harbor) Two legendary Charlotte bands, Jaggermouth and The Business People, reform for a night to remember.

Glass Animals (CMCU Amphitheatre) British genre blenders Glass Animals bring synth pop, indie, R&B, and hip-hop together in innovative and inviting ways.

The Bleeps, Evergone, Distemper (Tommy’s Pub) The Bleeps are an enthusiastic and passionate band formed in the wilds of NoDa. Big Something (Neighborhood Theatre) Big Something fuses elements of rock, funk and improvisation to take listeners on a journey through a myriad of musical styles.

Lifehouse, Buckcherry, 10 years, Filter, Below 7, U-Phonik, Late Night Special, Moon Fever, Michael Tracy (Park Expo Center) Day one of the Hops & Hog Fest headlines Lifehouse, a savvy commercial pop rock band that gained gravitas in the early 2000s by coupling singer-songwriter Jason Wade’s gruff throaty vocals to the gravitas enjoyed by the contemporary grunge scene.

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Todd Snider (McGlohon Theater) Especially within the context of Americana, Todd Snider’s new sound is refreshingly experimental, more funk than folk, more Sly Stone than singer-songwriter.

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

Mike Phillips (Middle C Jazz) World-renowned saxophonist Phillips brings his legendary style to Middle C Jazz for one night only.

SEPTEMBER 5 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Primus (CMCU Amphitheatre) In addition to a set of its own music, post-punk avant-garde pranksters Primus will play a second set comprised of Rush’s classic 1977 album A Farewell to Kings in its entirety.

311, Brett Scallions, Saving Abel, Vertical Horizon, Sister Hazel, The Black Moods, De Carlo, Jive Mother Mary, Brett Wiscons (Park Expo Center) Day two of Hops & Hogs Fest top bills 311. The quintet mixes reggae, hip-hop, funk, and metal in a rhythmic hybrid that made the band top dog throughout the early 90’s rap-rock boom.

Rickolus, Flat Out Insult, True Lilith, Maxwell Williams (The Milestone) Flat Out Insult is a straight-ahead punk combo from Monroe.

Charlotte Blues Society (Neighborhood Theatre)

The Charlotte Blues Society celebrates its new home and meeting place at Neighborhood Theatre.

SEPTEMBER 6 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Thao (Neighborhood Theatre) Veteran indie-pop and folk artist Thao Nguyen is a songwriter, touring musician and producer based in California.

Arborlea, Your Spirit Dies, Fallfiftyfeet, Ninth Realm (The Milestone) Metalcore quintet Your Spirit Dies hails from Columbia, SC.

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s) A rotating crew of top jazz players pay tribute to Charlotte’s godfather of jazz, keeping his legacy alive.

SEPTEMBER 7 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Walter Charles, Mike Prescott, Afropiglets (Evening Muse) The North Carolina collective known as the Walter Charles Project offers what they call Life Music, drawing on jazz, blues, rock, soul, folk, pop.

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Brent Cobb, Nikki Lane (Neighborhood Theatre) It took a few years, but country artist Coob is now giving his songs the room they need to breathe so they can speak for themselves.

Visit qcnerve.com for a full Soundwave listing.

20 21 AUGUST

SEPTEMBER

thu august 26

CAROLINA WAVES SHOWCASE & OPEN MIC fri august 27

EMMALINE

wed september 1

TOSCO MUSIC OPEN MIC thu september 2

ELECTRIC KIF

fri september 3

sat august 28

JACK SYMES W/ TEMME SCOTT

sun august 29

REAL AMERICAN COMEDY III mon august 30

FIND YOUR MUSE OPEN MIC

FEAT. LIZ FRAME & THE KICKERS tue august 31

AWARD WINNING BANJOIST, FIDDLER

HIPHOP VIOLINIST RHETT PRICE HEDONISTAS & DELTAPHONIC sat sep tember 4

RED DRESS AMY ALBUM RELEASE SHOW W/ THE NEW CREATURES

tue september 7

WALTER CHARLES SINGLE RELEASE SHOW

JAKE BLOUNT (TRIO) eveningmuse.com

3 3 2 7 n d av i d s o n s t, c h a r l o t t e n c

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMM

something along the lines of, “ARE YOU CRAZY?” I don’t know. Am I? As a food critic, I’ve been accused of worse. Was I doing something wrong?

So, I started a poll: “Does cumin go in hummus?

Yes or No.” Then things started getting interesting.

My followers are spread pretty broadly between my former home in Asia and here in the States where

she said, “but I love other seasonings in hummus like garlic or cumin because I think chickpeas alone with no flavor added can be bland.”

Rob Clement, self-proclaimed Head Mensch at local Jewish deli Meshugganah, was more emphatic. “Who the fuck started making food rules? Cumin is indigenous to Egypt, and hummus is right down the street.”

Hummus, life and the 21st-century art of getting nothing right

Pg. 16 AUG 25 - SEP 7, 2021 - QCNERVE.COM

BY TIMOTHY DEPEUGH

I’m much more confident writing about food than I am actually making it, but every once in a while, I get the urge to turn my kitchen — and my life — into the scene of an accident.

I don’t normally mind a food challenge. I spent the first six months after moving back to the States from Southeast Asia, for example, learning to make a variety of sambals from scratch, how to temper rempah and even how to navigate the severalday-journey to a perfect beef rendang. In this case, homesickness begat a bit of bravery.

More often than not, though, I am too busy to beget anything more than a headache, and instead of trying out a new recipe, I fall back onto something reliable (reliably easy) and much more likely not to require every pot, pan and plastic prep bowl in my cabinets.

Like hummus.

I’ve been making hummus on a semi-regular basis since I was in college, and it’s something I’ve always enjoyed doing. It’s quick, the ingredients are cheap and a batch will last a week if you’re a normal person — or a couple of days if you’re me.

My guilty pleasure is hummus on toasted sourdough bread. It’s an uncomplicated snack, and the crunch and flavor of the bread are just the right extra layers of pleasure needed to help you forget all the life choices you made that led to the bad day you’re currently having. You should try it.

While I’d been making hummus for years, I had yet to do it the 21st-century way — documenting each and every step with videos and colorful outtakes on Instagram. It was a Saturday in late July, and I was bored. I went all out with my Insta Stories that day, featuring each ingredient with a Scorseseesque flair: the chickpeas, the tahini, the olive oil, lemon and salt. And last but not least, the cumin.

Wait, what? The cumin?! Yep. Until that point, I had never thought it was an issue. But that’s when the DMs started rolling in, the nicest of which was

something wrong, then post it on social media.

Two, if you want to turn into an anxious pile of nerves, then be sure to make it something you enjoy doing.

And that’s when, on a hunch, I slid into the DMs of Shai Fargian, executive chef at Yafo Kitchen.

“Can we talk on the phone?” he asked.

This was going to be a long conversation, during which I found myself breaking out into goosebumps and swearing not to spill his hummus secrets.

‘Food as geography’

YAFO KITCHEN’S HUMMUS WITH FALAFEL.

I live now. For the first few hours of the poll that night, when it was daytime in Asia, the poll was split 50/50, or slightly in favor of cumin, but by the next day when the poll finished, as more local votes were counted, the results were undeniably against cumin at 56%. I sought those cumin-deniers out.

Yongwon Hwang, a chef de partie at local restaurant Counter-, was one. He was once scolded by a chef in Australia over this issue. “I worked in a Middle Asian cuisine restaurant, and the chef-owner was from Malta. When I asked about putting cumin in hummus, he screamed, ‘NO!’” Paul Kardous, a local Charlotte architect, was another who agreed with Hwang. “Real hummus should have chickpeas as the star and center of the dish, and cumin takes away from that and gives it a funk that doesn’t belong.”

Not that all of Charlotte was against cumin.

Some were neither passionately for nor against it, but appreciated its inclusion, like Amy Strasser, known to the masses as local Instagram food influencer cltfoodgirl. “I don’t like spicy ingredients,”

Fargian loves hummus so much that his staff calls him “Chef Garbanzo.” He grew up in a small town north of Tel Aviv, where hummus was a way of life.

“Farmers used to eat it in the morning and then go to the farm,” he said.

The local restaurants there would serve hummus and nothing else, and it was allyou-can-eat. Customers would pay for their bowl and could top it off again and again.

“Every Saturday for lunch PHOTO BY REMY THURSTON with my father’s family, that was our thing,” he said. “We’d In one short 24-hour period, with no clear go at 10 a.m. when they opened, and they closed answer to be found, and with this food critic now around 1 or 2 when they ran out of hummus.” the object of food critique, I had learned two “Hummus” in Hebrew and Arabic means lessons: One, if you want to be told you’re doing

Brunch Dinner Catering Take Out

Pg. 17 AUG 25 - SEP 7, 2021 - QCNERVE.COM

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

mother is from Portland, Maine, and her parents were both Holocaust survivors, so she wanted to be in Israel,” he explained of his own roots. “She moved there to “chickpea,” and it can refer to both the bean and the teach English and met my father. It kind of runs in the spread. Across Israel, the spread is made in small genes, meeting our American wives in Israel.” batches as orders come in, when the beans — after Fargian knew she just might be the one when having been soaked for at least eight hours then they started talking about hummus. boiled with a bit of baking soda for another three “She had her hummus place,” he said, “and she to four — are taken out and mixed with tahini. The thought it was better than mine.” similarities end there.

They left Israel together when his wife received “I like looking at food as geography,” Fargian a full scholarship to UNC business school, living said. “Hummus in Israel is like barbecue in the first in Chapel Hill then moving to New York when South. Like in the east Carolinas, barbecue sauce is his wife began a career in banking that eventually more liquid and tastes more like vinegar, but the allowed them to settle in Charlotte. Along the way, farther west you go, it gets sweeter and thicker. In he didn’t know what to cook. His background in Memphis, it’s half brown sugar.”

Israel leaned toward fine dining, where he cooked French-Middle Eastern fusion that saw things like foie gras baklava and liver pâté with eggplant marmalade.

While in New York, he continued working in fine-dining kitchens, but cooking new and even avant-garde American cuisines that were well outside his comfort zone and cultural frame of reference.

“I decided to cook Mediterranean food,” he said.

Back in Charlotte, Fargian connected with local restaurateur Frank Scibelli, and the two began working on the fastcasual concept that became Yafo Kitchen.

“I used to be embarrassed by that label: ‘fast-casual.’ I go from fine dining, and now I’m serving hummus and falafel?” Fargian said. “I’m bringing a fine-dining level of attention to the food here, though, even if it is fastcasual. It took me a year to get there and be proud.”

PHOTO BY REMY THURSTON SHAI FARGIAN. The duo’s research included a trip back to New York, where they ate at all the Mediterranean restaurants in three days. That’s In Israel, the geographic differences come down 11 restaurants a day. to temperature. At Fargian’s childhood hummus The purpose of the trip was to figure out what restaurant, the spread was served hot. But he told about the food he knew so well had been changed of a specific restaurant in Yafo, an interfaith city that for the American palate to make it as popular here exists as part of Tel Aviv, that is well known to have as it is back home. the best hummus in Israel, and there it is served “I love chicken hearts, for example,” Fargian said. cold.

“But no one here is going to come to a fast-casual “What the fuck was that? It was cold!” he said. restaurant to order chicken hearts.”

“And it’s only two hours away from where I grew up.”

Another difference he called out: “The American Hummus is so much a way of life in Israel palate likes more acid, so we add more lemon juice that everyone has an opinion, including Fargian’s to the hummus at Yafo than I would like, but that’s American wife, whom he met in Tel Aviv. the only concession I made in the recipe.”

“My father is Iranian and fled the regime. My

A growing popularity

It’s really hard to make good hummus, and at Yafo Kitchen, they go through 25 gallons of it between three locations every day.

Fargian would serve it at room temperature if he could, but it’s always served cold due to health code regulations.

The preparation of each batch takes two days and it all hinges on how the chickpeas are cooked.

It is important to break down the skins of the beans, hence the long soak and the long boil, as the skins are what make hummus chunky.

“If you don’t get the chickpeas right, you’re not going to have good hummus,” he said. “Cooking chickpeas is chef prep because if you fuck it up, it’s over.”

Quality ingredients — organic chickpeas from California and organic tahini from Israel — also help.

You know the chickpeas are soft when you smush them with your fingers and there’s no grain.

You know the chickpeas are ready when you throw one at the wall and it spreads out like a paintball.

The goal, in Fargian’s view, is “baby-butt-smooth hummus.”

And for the record, he does like cumin in his hummus. He confirmed that they even use cumin at Yafo Kitchen, but I’ve been sworn to secrecy on just how much.

The popularity of hummus in Charlotte and in the States (“Sabra had its own Super Bowl ad!

Hummus is a legitimate football snack!”) has allowed Chef Fargian to expand the menu at all Yafo Kitchen locations.

“We even have chicken schnitzel now,” he said.

“Chicken schnitzel and hummus is the most Israeli thing you can eat.”

Do you have plans to get back to a more upscale dining concept, I asked?

“Sure, when I don’t have to be in the restaurant washing dishes at 10 p.m. on a Thursday, because that’s where our industry is at right now,” Fargian said.

In the meantime, I stop by Yafo Kitchen on East Boulevard and order the most Israeli thing I could eat. The schnitzel is crisp, seasoned and satisfying, and the Yemenite red schug condiment Fargian recommended I have with it is wicked and fiery.

That hummus, though, predictably put my experiment to shame.

Despite what social media had told me, or in spite of it — neither of which offers any respite for the life of an anxious foodie – I realize I had been doing it wrong all along.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

Never miss the catch again.

Ride CATS and get back in the game.

Pg. 18 AUG 25 - SEP 7, 2021 - QCNERVE.COM

R i d e t r a n s i t . o r g / C AT S C o n fi d e n c e

LIFESTYLE PUZZLES SUDOKU

TRIVIA TEST

BY FIFI RODRIGUEZ

BY LINDA THISTLE

PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE. ©2020 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.

1. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: What word represents the letter “Q” in the NATO phonetic alphabet code?

2. MOVIES: Which actress, as a child, won a Best Supporting Actress award for her role in “The Piano”?

3. ADVERTISING SLOGANS: What product is advertised with the slogan “Vermont’s Finest”?

4. GEOGRAPHY: What is the English name for the country called Suomi by its people?

5. LITERATURE: Which 20thcentury novel begins with the line, “All this happened, more or less”?

6. ANATOMY: What part of the brain deals with hearing and language?

7. FOOD & DRINK: What is the most expensive spice on Earth?

8. TELEVISION: The TV series “Melrose Place” was a spinoff of which earlier drama?

9. U.S. STATES: Which state is known as the Beaver State?

10. ANIMAL KINGDOM: What is the descriptive name for animals that are active at dusk and dawn?

CROSSWORD

ACROSS 1 Ford dud 6 Like a poetic lament 13 Reggae land 20 Mucho 21 Sailing event 22 Warded off 23 Game in which groups of items are named 25 Game utilizing five dice 26 Liver spread 27 Part of TGIF 28 “That’s show --!”

30 Singer Elliot 31 Game of bluffing and trivia 35 Enraged 36 Tax doc. pro 38 Filled cookies 39 Autumn mo.

40 Game involving picking fruit from trees 45 Boomers’ children 46 Seal herd 47 Part of TGIF 48 Glimpse 49 Atop, in poetry 50 Game having a cross-shaped playing area 53 Suggest 55 Catch sight of 59 Big arteries 61 Sports squad 62 Writer Calvino 63 Mensa figs.

65 Brunch, e.g.

67 TV host Kelly 70 Game containing 100 tiles 72 Apt word for this puzzle’s theme, found by using the three letters that appear nowhere else in this entire puzzle’s grid 73 Game based on jumping and

capturing 75 Burn a little 76 Eclectic mix 78 Greek vowel 79 Certain eye surgery 80 Notified 82 Dogs’ jinglers 86 Glues 87 Indianan, informally 90 Game featuring war negotiation 93 Pt. of PLO 94 Male buds 96 Zodiac cat 97 “Six-pack” 98 Mass seats 102 Game whose players try to get rid of all their cards 105 Taoism’s Lao- -106 “The land of cotton” 107 Acorn tree 108 Lean- -- (simple huts) 109 Game entailing sinking vessels 111 Actor Scott 114 Lead-in to propyl 115 -- Lanka 116 -- Spumante 117 Game with an unmatched penalty card 120 Game using rebounding automatons, as originally named 126 Painter’s mixing board 127 Geronimo’s people 128 Slur over 129 Veers 130 Toy terriers, for short 131 Lauder of cosmetics DOWN 1 High trains 2 Medico 3 Office gizmo 4 -- Unidos de America

5 Espresso quaffs 6 Blunder 7 Lower limb 8 Vain person 9 Country star Brooks 10 Inflammation suffix 11 Polished off 12 North African city citadel 13 Rap star married to Beyonce 14 Film director DuVernay 15 “Doesn’t excite me” 16 Elaborately decorated auto 17 Chichen -- (Mayan ruins) 18 OK grades 19 Citrus drinks 24 Suffix with profit 29 Sacred cow 31 Be a pugilist 32 “-- you in?”

33 Portal 34 “T.N.T.” band 35 Center 36 Chuckle 37 Black tea 40 User of a certain weeding tool 41 Perp nabber 42 Most spacious 43 With 52-Down, retort to “No you’re not!”

44 Mined matter 46 Stipend, say 47 Prefix with thermal 50 “No --!” (“Sure!”)

51 Owns 52 See 43-Down 54 Arctic coats 55 Frisbee, e.g.

56 Mark permanently 57 Bay Area city 58 Light cigars 60 Faith faction 63 Sick

GET BACK TO DOING WHAT YOU LOVE.

Pg. 19 AUG 25 - SEP 7, 2021 - QCNERVE.COM

# YO U I M P R OV E D # YO U I M P R OV E D

YOUR CARE. YOUR WAY. | ORTHOCAROLINA.COM GAME TIME ©2020 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.

64 Brit. monarch beginning in ‘52 66 “Caught ya!”

68 -- -dieu (kneeler) 69 Inquires 71 “Bolero” star 74 Pottery need 77 Strange 78 “-- Beso” 81 Tripoli is its capital 83 Is inclined 84 Imitates 85 Day- -- colors 86 Mac rivals 87 Ad -88 NHL’s Bobby 89 French “king” 91 Sail holder 92 Help do bad 95 Mil. figures 98 Small guns 99 Demonstrate 100 Nintendo system 101 Autumn mo.

103 Fast car, e.g.

104 “Yippee!”

105 Meditative martial art 106 One-named singer of the 1994 hit “You Gotta Be” 109 Baseball great Lou 110 Nero’s lang.

111 Conks 112 -- unto itself 113 Sit in neutral 114 -- of March 115 Mark permanently 118 Safari truck, in brief 119 Suffix with Wisconsin 121 NYSE event 122 Bray starter 123 Letter #19 124 Lyrical poem 125 Letter #20

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

AERIN IT OUT

THE PESSIMIST OF OPTIMIST HALL Having a ‘get off my lawn’ moment

Pg. 20 AUG 25 - SEP 7, 2021 - QCNERVE.COM

BY AERIN SPRUILL

Every now and again I remind myself how I’m slowly becoming set in my ways, the same way some folk wear their contempt for short skirts, tattoos and rap music on every wrinkle of their furrowed brows. The ones you can glance at and guess the myriad complaints that are going to tumble out of their mouth.

And every time I feel my carefree youth slipping away and this bitter spinster bubbling to the surface, I force myself outside of my comfort zone.

Recently giving a new “hip” location the good ol’ pregame try came in the form of an early morning invitation via text to Optimist Hall. I took a deep sigh.

On the one hand, I appreciate being considered a “good addition” to the group if only to serve as a reject who wears out their welcome — think Kelsey drinking too much champagne on an episode of Bachelor.

On the other hand, Optimist Hall brings the pessimistic, Clint Eastwood grimacing on his porch GIF out of me.

Even though it’s been open for two years, I often struggle to even conjure the food hall’s name when it comes up in conversation. “What’s the name of that place again?” I ask my boyfriend over and over again before being met with a familiar sigh and a begrudging answer. And yet, I think he understands that my absentmindedness is largely a result of my disinterest.

I am sure this opinion runs contrary to many in Charlotte and may be met with disdain, but even if my woes align with only a handful, then all is well with my soul.

First off, the parking lots are plenty and yet there is rarely a parking spot to be found. After hiking from the back lot on my recent trip, I arrived at the “meeting place” (which you’ll certainly need to establish if traveling separately from your horde): Fonta Flora Brewery.

Unlike my usual “fortune,” I passed no vacant spots on my long journey. Instead, I was met with the fury of borderline road rage as hopeful visitors searched frantically for their spot. It was at that moment I regretted opting out of Uber.

I lingered at a patio table in the hot summer sun with familiar faces for a brief moment before deciding that the

solitude of a beer would benefit my grumpy demeanor.

And a pint of FFB’s Tip of the Vibers seemed to do the trick.

I began to let go of my initial inhibitions up until someone said, “So where do you think you want to eat?”

Oh no. I was banking on the fact that, in my hourand-a-half of tardiness, food had either been eaten or at least decided upon and that, in the event food hadn’t been eaten, everyone would go to the same place.

But that’s one of the things that actually draws Charlotteans to Optimist Hall — picky eaters be damned, there’s something for every palate. Go wherever the hell you want and we’ll meet back after the fact.

But for someone like me that wants to get in and get the eff out, who already grabbed a slice at Benny Pennello’s just so she wouldn’t have to brave the food indecision and the subsequent wait time, this place is an actual nightmare.

A small segment of the group split off to “enjoy” the game room, tacos and margaritas at El Thrifty. I decided to gamble on the larger segment, braving the upstairs food stalls in the hopes that I could continue to avoid ever stepping foot inside the cantina-meets-game bar.

At that time of evening, after climbing the steps to the courtyard, the sun was getting ready to set on the rustic charm of the old refurbished mill. The combination of twinkling string lights and hope for a bit of refreshing AC extended a welcoming invitation. Inside, the frenzy of anxiety returned.

It was parking lot déjà vu: non-drivers navigating the space with no regard for anyone else’s presence.

Standing awkwardly in the middle of the aisle trying to decide if a menu will tickle their fancy. The irritation of having to wait in a long line to place an order at the place you’ve already set your heart on or having to settle for something else. Eyes darting furiously in search of an open table, floor space or tiny desk to accommodate you and your party.

And the look of absolute defeat when you’ve found said seat and someone slides right in front of you even though you had your blinker on in anticipation of the previous party to leave.

The icing on the cake was two-fold. The first, a 20-minute wait for two tacos and a side that didn’t conjure so much as a, “Wow, that was good,” and certainly not a, “That was worth the wait.”

The second, an ultimate “I just blew out the candle on your cake” moment: my response to a picture of a meal someone in the group was actually excited to eat sent via group text “What’s that? An egg over hamburger meat?”

Absolutely no, thank you.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

HOROSCOPE

AUG 25 - AUG 31

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) A more harmonious aspect favors all relationships. Family ties with mates and children are strengthened. Libra is Cupid’s choice to win the amorous Aries’ heart.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) The bold Bull is ready to take on fresh challenges. Expect some opposition as you plow new ground — but supporters will outnumber detractors.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) An upcoming job change could mean uprooting your family to a fardistant location. Weigh all considerations carefully before making a decision one way or the other.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) A long-standing problem is resolved by a mutually agreed upon compromise. You can now focus on getting the facts you’ll need for a decision you’ll soon be asked to make.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) The Big Cat needs to be wary of what appears to be a golden investment opportunity. That “sure thing” could turn out to be nothing more than a sack of Kitty Glitter.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) You give of yourself generously to help others, but right now you must allow people to help you. Confide your problems to family and trusted friends.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Relationships benefit from a strong harmonious aspect. Things go more smoothly at work. Someone you thought you’d never see again asks for a reconciliation.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) A minor distraction interferes with travel plans, but the delay is temporary. Meanwhile, expect to play peacemaker once again for feuding family members.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Keep that positive momentum going on the home front. Arrange your schedule to spend more time with your family. You’ll soon have news about that job change.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Control that possessive tendency that sometimes goads you into an unnecessary display of jealousy.

You could be creating problems where none currently exist.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) A new project holds some challenges you hadn’t expected.

But don’t be discouraged; you’ll find you’re more prepared to deal with them than you realized.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Yours is the sign of the celestial Chemist, so don’t be surprised if you experience a pleasant “chemistry” betwixt yourself and that new Leo in your life.

BORN THIS WEEK: You enjoy being fussed over, as befits your “royal” Leonine nature. You also have a strong loyalty to family and friends.

SEP 1 - SEP 7

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) The typically tidy Ram or Ewe might want to butt out until things are settled on the home front. But get involved and let your Ovine sense of order help restore domestic tranquility.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) The Bovine’s flair for fine-tuning complicated fiscal dealings comes in handy when an unexpected financial problem arises.

Stay with it until it’s resolved to your satisfaction.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Family aspects remain strong. There might be some unresolved difficulties, but continued attempts to smooth things over eventually prove to be successful. A major purchase looms.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) A promise that was made but never kept suddenly re-emerges in your life. You now have to decide if you’re still interested in what it offers or if you’ve moved past it.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) Romance comes to unattached Leos and Leonas who have been waiting for Cupid to target them for far too long. Domestic purr-fection is also enhanced for paired Felines.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) You need to take a much-needed break from that demanding project before too much energy-draining tension sets in. And don’t be ashamed to ask for help.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Change makes demands that you might find unwelcome at this time. But instead of concentrating on the short run, look toward potential benefits down the road.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) You have a gift for reviving projects that seem beyond repair.

Use that same ability to restore a relationship that seems to have turned from loving to lifeless.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Expect to be asked to use your combined wisdom and humor to resolve a problem. After all, folks not only value your advice, they also like how you give it.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Most people consider you solid and steady. But you also can be quite capricious (which is a Latin word for “describing the behavior of Goats”) when it suits your needs.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) People treat you as you wish to be treated. So if you want a change in your relationship, make it happen. Also expect someone to reveal some long-held secrets.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Stay with the decision you made, despite a sudden torrent of advice to the contrary from well-meaning people.

Remember: You know your needs better than anyone.

BORN THIS WEEK: You like things tidy, with no loose ends. You also enjoy research and would make an excellent investigative reporter or scientist.

2021 KING FEATURES SYND., INC.

Pg. 21 AUG 25 - SEP 7, 2021 - QCNERVE.COM

© 2021 King Features Synd., Inc.

King Features Weekly Service

• Autism is more common than childhood cancer, diabetes and AIDS combined.

• A bizarre dream in which cannibals surrounded him and prepared to cook him as they waved spears helped inspire Elias Howe’s invention of the sewing machine. When he awoke, he remembered that the spears had holes in their shafts and moved up and down.

• “Bhang lassi” is an Indian milkshake whose main ingredient is marijuana.

• According to British law, any unclaimed swan swimming in the open waters of England and Wales belongs to the queen. The law originated in medieval times when swans were a delicacy for the wealthy.

• “Gingerphobia” is a fear of redheads.

• The Russians arrived 12 days late to the 1908 Olympics because they were using the wrong (i.e., Julian) calendar.

• In 1995 a woman in Sweden lost her wedding ring while cooking for Christmas. Understandably distraught, she looked everywhere for it and even pulled up her kitchen floor, but didn’t see it again until 16 years later, when, while gardening, she discovered it encircling a carrot that had sprouted in the middle of it.

• The amount of copper on the Arizona capitol building roof is equivalent to nearly 5 million pennies.

• Bumblebees can fly higher than Mt. Everest.

• Because he got a 25% profit share of merchandise, Elvis Presley manager Colonel Tom Parker was always in search of new ways to get fans to lay down some cash. One of the most notable was marketing to Presley’s haters with badges that read “I Hate Elvis” and “Elvis is a Jerk.” *** Thought for the Day: “The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.” — J.D. Salinger

August 23, 2021

By Lucie Winborne

Don’t JUST Recycle,

Recycle

right!

ONLY RECYCLE THESE SIX ITEMS

No Plastic Bags

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

PG.19 PUZZLE ANSWERS

SAVAGE LOVE INCONVENIENT TRUTHS

It’s all about communication

BY DAN SAVAGE

I’m a woman who recently went out on a third date with a man. I invited him back to my place and we started making out, which led to him going down on me.

Moments later he took off his pants and to my surprise he had a micro penis. I was shocked and turned off. I did not want to continue, but knowing how sensitive men can be, I maintained a poker face, did my best to not let on that I was turned off, and he was able to orgasm.

Is there a nice way to let someone know you do not want to continue to have sex because of their penis size? And is there a responsibility on the part of a person with a micro penis to disclose that fact before sex? I think I would’ve been less turned off if I wasn’t so shocked.

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SMALLER MEN AND LESSONS LEARNED

I don’t believe you, SMALL. I don’t think you would’ve been any less shocked or turned off if this guy brought up the size of his dick between the start of the first date and the end of the third. And if he had, SMALL, you would’ve written me a letter about this weird guy who started telling you about his small dick and ended your letter with a shocked, “Who does that?”

(And I would’ve said, “Guys into small-penis humiliation, because otherwise there’s no reason someone would bring that up in advance.”)

Look, dicks are a lot like labia: They come in all shapes and sizes, and you usually don’t know what you’re gonna get when you go to bed with someone for the first time.

While it’s fine to have a preference for larger or smaller, you should be prepared for natural variance and prepared to roll with it. If you can’t bear the thought of winding up in bed with a guy whose dick is too small for you, SMALL, then solicit dick pics in advance of a first date.

Or make a disclosure of your own: You’re a size queen who requires a guy to be packing at least [however many] inches.

But if asking for dick pics and/or disclosing your dick preferences in advance seems too forward, SMALL, you’re under no obligation to fuck a guy if you’re not into

his dick. No one is obligated to go through with sex just to spare someone else’s feelings.

We should try to be considerate of other people’s feelings, of course, which sometimes means offering up an excuse, however transparently false it might be. But you can get up and go whenever you like.

I’m married to a wonderful woman. I know that’s where the BUT comes in, but it’s the truth.

She’s fantastic. The challenge is sex. My wife always struggled with physical intimacy. She doesn’t like to have her neck or ears touched or really any form of gentle touch. These were favorites of mine, but we were compatible in other areas, so it wasn’t a big deal.

It got worse after our children were born, and now her body is almost totally off limits to me and I’m really struggling. I’ve communicated that sex is important to me and she makes a good faith effort, but it’s strictly intercourse.

I miss foreplay. I’ve tried to broach this subject and my wife gets very defensive. What are some baby steps I can propose?

TOUCHED OR NOT

There aren’t a lot of baby steps between someone not kissing your neck and someone kissing your neck, TON, so unless your wife is willing to get into therapy and work on identifying the root cause of her aversion to touch — and there may not be one — there’s not much you can do. She might just not like it.

If things got worse after the kids arrived, perhaps things will improve once they’re older. And if most of the childcare responsibilities fall on your wife’s shoulders, well, she might be all touched out by the time you come for her neck.

But if you were sexually incompatible at the start of the relationship — if you never really clicked sexually — that’s a hard-bordering-on-impossible thing to reverse engineer years or decades in.

I find when I ride one of my dildos anally that my back pain will go away, or at the very least lessen. I know there are all kinds of great chemicals that get released when a person comes but is there more to this than that?

Is it like acupuncture points, but in my ass?

I’ve had physical issues with my back that physical therapy hasn’t been able to help. But stuffing my ass solved my back pain.

Any insights?

ANAL MAKES EVERYTHING NICE

TRIVIA ANSWERS: 1. Quebec 2. Anna Paquin 3. Ben & Jerry’s ice cream

4. Finland 5. “Slaughterhouse-Five,” Kurt Vonnegut 6. The left hemisphere 7. Saffron

8. “Beverly Hills, 90210” 9. Oregon 10. Crepuscular

Maybe it’s physical, maybe it’s chemical, or maybe care of themselves. My advice: stop hinting, HINTER, you’ve stumbled over (and impaled yourself on) a unique start telling. version of the placebo effect — only you’re taking dildos, I’m a young gay man who likes to be spanked not sugar pills. Don’t waste time wondering why this hard. I tried dating nice guys, but they didn’t want works, AMEN, just be thankful it does. to hurt me. Now I want to give kinky hookup apps My husband and I are opening our relationship. a try, but I worry sadistic guys who do want to I’m good looking enough to get a date easily, but hurt me won’t be nice. I want to be hurt but I’m my husband ... well, he’s ridiculously sexy to me, worried about being with someone who enjoys it and he’s had enough hookups in his life to know too much. Does that make sense? I’m kind of stuck and could use a little push. he’s attractive to other women.

But he’s in his late thirties now and — there’s HATE EXTREMELY LIMP PADDLING no delicate way to put this — ear hair, long You tried imploring vanilla nice guys to hurt you eyebrow hairs, nose hairs, receding hairline, long and that didn’t work, HELP, so it’s time to take a chance chest hairs that creep up his neck. TOO MUCH on kinky guys who do wanna hurt you. (That’s the push STRAY HAIR EVERYWHERE! From 10 feet away he you wanted, right?) Some kinky people are assholes, of looks amazing but close he just looks unkempt. My course, so use your best judgment and trust your gut. But question is this: How do I tell him?

I gotta say … some of the nicest guys I’ve ever met were I’m all about body positivity but the kind of sadists.

It wasn’t just that these guys wanted to hurt me women he’s attracted to put time and care into in safe, sane and mutually pleasurable ways and that was their appearance and I think he should do the nice of them.

They were genuinely sweet. same! Hinting has not worked. I love him as is but At first, I thought they might be overcompensating don’t want to listen to him complain that it’s tough out of guilt, HELP, or, even worse, that their kindness was for a “middle-aged guy” to find a date. His age is an act.

But eventually, I had to conclude that some sort of not the issue!

HUSBAND IS NOT TRYING ENOUGH REALLY inverse relationship exists between being the kind of selfaware, self-actualized sadist who wants to do terrible A lot of young straight guys think a casual disregard things to someone who wants terrible things done to for their own looks is masculine and alluring. And it them, and just generally being a decent and thoughtful often works — until those ear and nose hairs start person. coming in. At that point they think, “I’m not doing Now, go get spanked by a guy who likes spanking you anything differently but I’m not getting attention like as much as you like getting spanked.

I used to!”

To get that same kind of attention, of course, they Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage; mail@ need to start doing things differently, e.g., they need to savagelove.net; savagelovecast.com adopt new grooming practices and start taking better

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