Queen City Nerve - November 17, 2021

VOLUME 3, ISSUE 26; NOVEMBER 17 - NOVEMBER 30, 2021; WWW.QCNERVE.COM

NEWS: A DEEPER LOOK AT THE

CMS GENDER SUPPORT PLAN PG. 4

MUSIC: ZETA FRONTMAN

JUAN CHI MOVES TO CHARLOTTE PG. 12

GrAy’S AnAtOmY

TRANSGENDER ARTIST LENA GRAY CREATES EMPOWERING IMAGERY

BY PAT MORAN

Pg. 2 NOV 17 - NOV 30, 2021 - QCNERVE.COM

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

PUBLISHER

JUSTIN LAFRANCOIS jl afra n co i s @ q cn er ve.com

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF RYAN PITKIN rpitk i n @ q cn e r ve. c om

ART DIRECTOR

JAYME JOHNSON jjo h n s o n @ q cn er ve . com

DIGITAL EDITOR

KARIE SIMMONS ks i mmo n s @ q cn er ve.com

STAFF WRITER

PAT MORAN pm o ra n @ q cn er ve . com

STAFF WRITER

NIKOLAI MATHER n m at h e r @ q cn e r ve.com

AD SALES EXECUTIVE

NEWS& OPINION

4 A PLAN FOR PROGRESS BY NIKOLAI MATHER CMS gender support plan gives trans and GNC students agency over their own transitions

ARTS& CULTURE

8 GRAY’S ANATOMY BY PAT MORAN Transgender artist Lena Gray creates empowering imagery

MUSIC

6 LIFE WORTH CONSERVING BY STAFF A guide to the flora and fauna of the Carolina Thread Trail

10 LIFELINE: 10 COOL THINGS TO DO IN TWO WEEKS 12 MOVING FOR MORE BY RYAN PITKIN

Zeta’s Juan Chi makes a new home in Charlotte

14 SOUNDWAVE

16 FOOD& DRINK LIFESTYLE

A GEM OF THE SOUTH BY JASIATIC ANDERSON Sanctuary Bistro quietly carries out vegan mission in south Charlotte

18 PUZZLES 20 AERIN IT OUT BY AERIN SPRUILL 20 HOROSCOPE 22 SAVAGE LOVE

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THANKS TO OUR CONTRIBUTORS: PAT MORAN, KARIE SIMMONS, NIKOLAI MATHER, GRANT BALDWIN, JASIATIC ANDERSON, GABE LUGO, LENA GRAY, AERIN SPRUILL, AND DAN SAVAGE. NEWS: A DEEPER LOOK AT THE

CMS GENDER SUPPORT PLAN PG. 4

MUSIC: ZETA FRONTMAN

JUAN CHI MOVES TO CHARLOTTE PG. 12

GrAy’S AnAtOmY

TRANSGENDER ARTIST LENA GRAY CREATES EMPOWERING IMAGERY

BY PAT MORAN

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NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

transgender, nonbinary and gender-nonconforming most of the last six months, that’s been my biggest front to fight for the rights of transgender students.

NCDPI did not allow administrators to list a students. When a student comes out, their school’s fear; just, is my kid safe where they are right now? administration works with them to draw up a And [creating the gender support plan] made me new name in Powerschool, alleging that it would be inappropriately altering school records. So every personal plan to support them during transition. feel very reassured.” year beginning in 2017, Concelman would change The plan stipulates what name and pronoun to use, which bathroom a student needs to use, what The man who pushed for gender the names in the database for some 150 students at the beginning of the school year, then flip it back safety and privacy concerns they have and more. support plans CMS gender support plan to their birth names at year’s end when transcripts CMS established the policy in 2015 in order to help John Concelman is a bullying prevention and gives trans and GNC were produced. transgender students feel more comfortable at LGBTQ support manager at CMS. He has been students agency over their When this practice was inevitably met with school. working in that position for 23 years. For him, it’s complaints, he demanded a preferred name field.

When Josephine arrived at their new high own transitions been a lengthy but rewarding time.

The state finally relented in 2019, but it came with a school, she and her mother worked together with “I certainly have seen a huge difference from major stipulation. the school’s guidance counselor to come up with

BY NIKOLAI MATHER where I started back in 1998 to where I am now,” he “Now we can legally, through NCDPI, have a a plan that best fit Josephine’s needs. Through said. “It was quite the journey to get here.” student or a family member submit a name change,” The year 2020 was one of intense change for the gender support plan, Josephine was given The CMS gender support plan policy was initially he said. “However, they changed the gender to Josephine*, now a high school student in Charlotte. control over what bathrooms were appropriate for ‘sex assigned at birth’ so that First, there was the sudden switch we couldn’t also change the to virtual learning with the onset of gender marker.” the COVID-19 pandemic. Then, with This meant the official the first lockdown still underway, records of trans students Josephine graduated from eighth would not show the gender grade and moved on to high school. they identified with.

Finally, as she settled down for an It could be seen as another isolated summer break, she had an case of one step forward, two epiphany about herself. steps back, but Concelman “I just fell out of contact with took it as an opportunity to a lot of people … and that much keep pushing. thinking, being in your own brain, Once CMS students you realize stuff about yourself,” she began to submit requests for told Queen City Nerve. name changes, he was able After months of internal to connect with their school reflection, Josephine realized she counselors. is a transgender girl. Coming out From there, those was scary, but ultimately went well students would have the compared to many others her age. option of creating their own She began using she/they pronouns gender support plans. in online conversation with her Not all of the students friends from middle school. Six requesting name changes months later, she came out to her are trans, and not all of them mom on Mother’s Day weekend. need a gender support plan.

With support from her friends and But Concelman said he saw family, Josephine made a full social gender support plan usage transition by using her new name and pronouns at school.

PHOTO COURTESY OF JOHN CONCELMAN increase dramatically once JOHN CONCELMAN, BULLYING PREVENTION AND LGBTQ SUPPORT MANAGER AT CMS. he began contacting students Though she said her school who had requested name changes. has been “extremely accepting,” used by only a few, mostly families of elementary Over 500 students have submitted a name Josephine was still nervous to publicly transition. them, which teacher they could go to should they schoolers who were transitioning young. It wasn’t change since 2019, and Concelman has offered When her therapist told her about Charlotte- need help, and which name and pronouns all staff until the North Carolina Department of Public support plans to each one.

Mecklenburg Schools’ (CMS) gender support plan members ought to use for them.

Instruction (NCDPI) updated its name-changing “I’m still getting about five to 10 name changes The document, which Josephine can alter at any policy, Josephine breathed a bit easier. policy that the plans became more widely used. a week,” he said.

“I said, ‘Oh, that’s probably a good idea!’” she time, made her and her mother feel more confident Powerschool, which is North Carolina’s education The outreach didn’t stop there. Concelman sent as Josephine embarked on her social transition. laughed. software, stores the transcripts, grades and personal memos to CMS principals informing them of the “I was reassured that my child was safe,” The CMS gender support plan is an official information of all public-school students across the gender support plan policy. document outlining the needs of individual Josephine’s mother told Queen City Nerve. “Through state. For Concelman, Powerschool became a crucial

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A PLAN FOR PROGRESS

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE He worked with guidance counselors and administrators to inform students and parents about the program, and worked with local LGBTQ youth center Time Out Youth to reach out to queer and trans students and get them access to these services.

It is a staggering amount of advocacy — he admitted himself that he’s been doing the work of two people for years now — but Concelman wants to keep going.

“I want transgender students to know that we are working so hard to be an ally and an advocate for their support,” he said. “We are working so hard to create inclusive environments.

“We know we’re not perfect, we know there’s a lot of work to do,” Concelman continued. “Politically, religiously and legally, there is a lot of pushback that we get ... But we want them to know that we need to work together in order to make these changes.”

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An unfinished conversation

acknowledged that there are young people whom CMS is missing. He thinks the outreach is working, though, for the most part.

“Based on national and our own in-house statistics like the Youth Risk Behavior Survey, there are more kids out there that we need to reach, but the numbers from when we started are totally different from now,” he said.

While the most recently available Youth Risk Behavior Survey results show an uptick in the percentage of Mecklenburg high school students who say they’ve been teased or bullied by someone who thought they were gay, lesbian or bisexual — from 10% in 2013 to 14% in 2019 — it does not make any mention of gender identity.

To Josephine and their mother, the CMS gender support plan remains a great resource for her social transition, yet Josephine thinks it’s just a start for what CMS can do to support transgender kids.

“I think the biggest thing they need to do is install gender-neutral bathrooms in every single school across the board,” she said.

Though CMS has policies supporting bathroom and locker room usage based on gender and not assigned sex, Josephine said she would feel safer in the single-use, gender-neutral restrooms her teachers use.

Rimmer cited similar worries from other transgender young people she works with. Those concerns most regularly involve feeling secure in the bathroom, dealing with transphobic educators and, above all, navigating public school safely. Most trans students agree gender support plans are just one piece of the puzzle.

“A gender support plan is simply a conversation to have in order to support one specific trans kid,” Rimmer said. “Beyond that, I think there is a lot more that school systems, educators, admin teams, other folks can do in order to mitigate the concerns I’m seeing with trans kids.”

Despite the work to be done, Rimmer still encourages trans kids to use what support is currently being offered.

“There are people out there that will genuinely support you,” she said. “Even if it’s not your school system, if it’s not your family system, if it’s not the health-care system, you will still find those spaces.

Finding that support will lead you to get even more support. So keep digging.”

CMS is far from the only school district that has a policy like this in place. In fact, it’s just one of 14 school districts in the area that Haeley Rimmer, community engagement coordinator at Time Out Youth, works with.

Charlotte-based Time Out Youth is one of the largest LGBTQ centers in the South. The nonprofit works with local school districts like CMS to support LGBTQ students through inclusivity training, advocacy and policy work.

Gender support plans are fairly common in Rimmer’s line of work, and in her experience, they’re an invaluable resource for transgender students and their loved ones.

“It’s a shared understanding of what a specific trans young person needs,” she told Queen City Nerve. “It gives the young person agency and advocacy over their own lives. It really means that how to support an individual student is up to that individual student.”

Josephine and their mother agree, but they also see some opportunities for improvement.

“I don’t think we should be the ones who have to initiate it,” Josephine’s mother said. “As soon as a student is asking teachers to use a different name or different pronouns, [a gender support plan] should *Josephine’s name has been changed to protect be something that the counselors start talking to a their privacy. student about.”

That has been what Concelman has worked NMATHER@QCNERVE.COM to accomplish over the last three years, though he

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FLORA:

Plants found along the Carolina Threat Trail

LIFE WORTH CONSERVING A guide to the flora and fauna of the Carolina Thread Trail

BY STAFF

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Our series of articles about getting outside in the Charlotte area to be active on the Carolina Thread Trail network and Catawba River is presented in partnership with local orthopedic-care provider OrthoCarolina.

Maintaining green spaces in urban areas like Charlotte and the surrounding towns increases the health benefits of all residents. Multiple studies have shown that urban green spaces give people the space for physical activity, relaxation, peace, and an escape from heat. They are also associated with better air quality, reduced traffic noise, cooler temperatures, and greater diversity — as well as providing a home for plants and wildlife to flourish.

Many organizations in the Charlotte area provide resources and carry out preservation efforts that work toward these maintenance goals, but few provide as many as the Catawba Lands Conservancy and the Carolina Thread Trail.

Catawba Lands Conservancy is a nonprofit that permanently conserves and manages land for public benefit in the Southern Piedmont of North Carolina. Its current conservation area includes 190 properties totaling nearly 17,000 acres of land — farmland, ecologically rich lands to protect wildlife habitat, and local drinking water, and public land — in Catawba, Gaston, Iredell, Lincoln, Mecklenburg and Union counties. Its goal is to conserve 50,000 acres by 2030.

CLC is the lead agency that oversees the Carolina Thread Trail, a regional network of trails, blueways and conservation corridors connecting 15 counties in North and South Carolina. Over 250 miles of the Thread Trail are currently open to the public and 14 active corridors are under development thanks to CLC’s partnership with Foundation For The Carolinas and other local partners.

Acquiring property is just the first phase of the CLC’s work to ensure that the region’s wildlife and plant species thrive and our natural systems function properly. Donations and grants not only help staff and volunteers care for and monitor these protected lands and the plants and animals that inhabit them, but also allow the CLC to defend conservation easements legally when necessary.

In order to better appreciate what it is that CLC is focused on conserving, we’ve put together a list of the most rare, endangered and otherwise interesting plants and animals that can be found on the Carolina Thread Trail.

Bigleaf Magnolia Scarlet Bee Balm South Fork Trail in Broad River Greenway McAdenville An aromatic perennial With leaves 12 to 36 herb and member of inches long and ivorythe mint family, Scarlet colored flowers averaging Bee Balm grows up to 8 to 10 inches across, the 1.2 meters tall in dense Bigleaf Magnolia has the largest simple leaf and flower of clusters along stream banks, moist thickets and ditches. any native plant in North America. The tree grows about It is known for its summer-blooming, bright red tubular 30 to 40 feet tall, but its branches often bend under the flowers that attract hummingbirds. weight of its heavy foliage.

Common Arrowhead Pawpaw Murray’s Mill Trail, Little Sugar Creek Greenway, Riverside Greenway Hector Henry Greenway at Common Arrowhead is Mills of Rocky River a colony-forming, aquatic Pawpaw is a small perennial that grows in deciduous tree — growing wet soils and even standing to a height of 35 feet — water, often reaching a height of 3 feet. Its leaves are that bears the largest edible fruit indigenous to the U.S. arrowhead-shaped and small white flowers emerge on Fruit begins to ripen in late summer, peaks in September its stalk in mid to late summer. and October, and has a sweet, custard-like flavor similar to a banana, mango or pineapple.

Trillium Schweinitz’s Sunflower Girl Scout Hornets’ Nest Trail, Cane Creek Park Salisbury Greenway and Schweinitz’s sunflower Pharr Family Trail is a perennial that blooms There are 38 species of from late August until frost Trillium in North America and grows approximately and all belong to the lily 6-and-a-half feet tall, with thickened roots that store starch. It’s named after the family. They have eye-catching flowers with three petals North Carolina botanist who discovered it in the 1800s, and three bracts of various colors, and the bracts are often though today it’s an endangered species and one of the mottled (spotted). Flowers are either above the bracts or can be found hiding underneath them. rarest sunflowers in the United States.

Mountain Laurel Bloodroot South Fork Rail Trail, Bakers Rocky Creek Trail Mountain Park and Morrow Bloodroot is an Mountain State Park herbaceous perennial The shade-tolerant flower that grows to about Mountain Laurel grows a foot tall and blooms 10 to 30 feet tall and has white flowers in March and flowers that bloom in late spring and early summer. April in shady, moist conditions. Flowers open in full sun They can range from white to pink and have distinctive and close at night and, like most members of the poppy symmetrical maroon or purple dots or streaks. All parts of family, they last for a short time. the plant are poisonous to humans and several animals.

Eastern Turkeybeard Crowders Mountain Trail Eastern Turkeybeard is distinguished by its showy white cluster of flowers, which bloom late May or early June and can be almost a foot tall. They appear on top of a single, long vertical stalk that has many long, grass-like leaves in a dense clump at its base.

Rocky Shoals Spider Lily Catawba River Blueway/ Landsford Canal State Park The Rocky Shoals Spider Lily grows in the fast flowing, rocky shoals of rivers and streams. It blooms fragrant flowers from May through mid-June, with each blossom opening overnight and lasting for one day, and can grow up to 3 feet tall. The rocky outcroppings of the Catawba River are home to the largest known population of rocky shoals spider lilies, which are listed as a national species of concern and designated as endangered in some places.

FAUNA:

Look for these animals on your next Charlotte hike Black Bear Dan Nicholas Park Trail (in Rowan Wildlife Adventure area) Black bears are omnivorous and are normally found in forested areas, where they feed on ants, nuts, berries, acorns and other vegetation, as well as deer fawns and moose calves.

The size of a black bear varies depending on the quality of food available, but adult males weigh around 400 pounds and females average 175 pounds. They are 5 to 7 feet tall when standing upright.

Bonaparte’s Gull Seven Oaks Preserve Trail One of the smallest species of gull, adult Bonaparte’s gulls are just 11 to 15 inches long with a wingspan of 30 to 33 inches. They’re found along lakes, rivers, marshes, bays and beaches but unlike larger gulls, they nest in trees rather than on the ground and seldom scavenge in garbage. Their name honors French zoologist Charles Lucien Bonaparte, a distant cousin of Napoleon.

Painted Turtles

Lake Whelchel Trail and Catawba Indian Nation Greenway Trail Painted turtles are relatively small (5 to 7 inches) and colorful, with yellow stripes on their legs and spots on their heads, and smooth dark shells that may have red or yellow patterns on the edge. They live in slow-moving fresh water with muddy bottoms and are most active from March to November — frequently basking on logs or rocks.

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Red cockaded woodpecker Pee-Dee River Blueway Red cockaded woodpeckers have black and white ladder-striped backs and distinctive white cheeks. Males have an almost invisible red streak at the upper border of the cheek, which is how this small woodpecker gets its name. They do the majority of their foraging for insects, fruits and berries on large pine trees.

Hooded merganser Forney Creek Trail A type of migrating waterfowl like the piedbilled grebe, hooded mergansers are small, short-distance migrant ducks that live on ponds, rivers and wetlands, and hunt for their food while under water. Females are greyish brown and males are black with white markings, but both have crests they can raise or lower — the breeding plumage of the male is patterned and colorful. They winter in U.S. regions where temperatures allow for ice-free conditions.

Pied-billed grebes Forney Creek Trail Pied-billed grebes are small, stocky, and shortnecked water birds that are mostly brown, which serves as camouflage in the ponds where they live. They rarely spend time in flocks or fly, but frequently slow dive, especially when in danger. If they live in an area where the water freezes in the winter, they will migrate to a warmer climate.

Fox Squirrel Mineral Springs Greenway The largest species of tree squirrel native to North America, the fox squirrel’s total length measures 20 to 30 inches, tail included. Its color varies depending on geography, but in most areas its upper body is brown-grey to brown-yellow with a brownish-orange underside. It’s usually found in open forest stands with little understory vegetation and makes its home in leaf nests or tree dens.

Eastern Meadowlark

Cowpens National Battlefield Trail Eastern Meadowlarks are medium-sized songbirds with a short tail and a long, spear-shaped bill, which they use to probe the ground for insects.

Breeding adults have a bright yellow chest with a black “V” and sing a flute-like whistle from treetops, fence posts and utility lines.

ARTS FEATURE

“At the heart of my art, I want people to feel like they belong,” Gray says. “I want to normalize different types of bodies and people.”

The poised, indomitable figure in “12 Limbs” is different from most characters depicted in fine art, comics and movies. She bears a striking resemblance to the artist, as do the subjects of many of Gray’s Transgender artist Lena works. But she says the figures are not her.

Gray creates empowering “Each character is modeled after me, but I don’t imagery think of them as myself,” Gray offers. “I like using my own face and body because it helps me stay grounded.”

BY PAT MORAN Like several of the characters in her art, the woman in “12 Limbs” is a divine symbol of healing, Perched on a grassy outcrop surrounded by Gray says. “A lot of art representing marginalized stone, the young woman is breaking free. Captured people tends to focus on trauma, but it’s also in mid-action, she’s busting out of her old body, important to depict liberation.” shedding, shattering and shaking off 10 limbs that are no longer needed. Crumbling arms that seem to Art imitates life, life is art be carved from granite arc through the air. Perhaps Now 34 years old, Gray grew up in Blacksburg, she’s sloughing off the cycle of creation and carnage Virginia. When she was still a baby, her family moved embodied by the many-limbed Kali, or maybe she’s to Newport News, located at the mouth of the James emerging like a butterfly from a cocoon. She looks River feeding into Chesapeake Bay. To all outward up, but it’s hard to read her emotions. She is open, appearances, Gary was a cis male child, youngest of questioning and peaceful, but not quite serene. She four brothers. Even then, however, she felt different may be divine. from her friends without understanding why.

The woman is the focus of “12 Limbs,” a digital At this time, art also entered Gray’s life. She painting created by Charlotte-based artist and cites comic books and her mother as key influences in the development of her approach to character, composition and subject matter. Of the two, the influence of Gray’s mother, Nikki, has been most profound. A sculptor and painter in her own right, Nikki created art to empower marginalized people.

“My mother taught me the value of finding beauty within ourselves and expressing it,” Gray remembers.

When she moved with her family to Tallahassee, Florida, at age 8, Gray found that her art and identity became inextricably entwined. She wanted to see imagery of people like herself.

Later, when people looked at her art and started to identify with her goals, Gray grasped the importance of being herself — but that revelation lay in the future. In the meantime, she explored other creative avenues in addition to drawing and painting. Gray began to write stories in which she imagined herself as a different person.

At Lawton Chiles High School in Tallahassee, LENA GRAY AT WORK PHOTO BY LENA GRAY Gray took a class that showed her how to create images in Photoshop. This sparked an interest in musician Lena Gray, who identifies as Black, trans creating digital graphics. After graduating high and feminine. Gray has been making art for as long school, Gray attended Radford University in Radford, as she can remember, but three years ago she started Virginia, where she earned a degree in graphic arts. drawing on her skills as a graphic designer to create Although Gray ultimately decided that graphic digital art that provides empowering images of design was not her desired path, she has freelanced trans people of color — depictions that are so often in the past, creating designs for an array of clients absent in popular media.

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GRAY’S ANATOMY

A DIGITAL PAINTING TITLED “PRECEPTOR.” ARTWORK BY LENA GRAY

including Richmond-based market Ellwood Thompson; Carrboro tattoo and piercing shop Naiad Craftworks; and Astral Well, a monthly installment of guided meditations featuring astrology and tarot.

Ten years ago, Gray also started playing guitar. At that time, music was not a serious vocation, she recalls.

Like her art, it was a private pastime. Both art and music became tools for processing her anxiety, which subsided slightly in 2013, when she made her first trans friend.

“We weren’t close, but just being around him gave me a lot of perspective,” Gray says.

Through mutual friends, she became aware of other people starting to come out as trans. Gray also began to feel drawn to Charlotte. She started visiting one of her older brothers who lives in the Queen City. One trip she remembers vividly included a stop at The Milestone Club to see Xiu Xiu, then her favorite band, play a gig supporting their 2008 album Women as Lovers.

Meeting other trans people prompted Gray to transition in 2016.

“My parents didn’t know what to think at first,” Gray says, noting that a lot of her parents’ fears stemmed from concerns for their daughter’s safety.

“They didn’t want me to be in danger. That was their main motivation for wanting to discourage me. They didn’t realize it wasn’t a choice.”

Gray came out as trans in 2017 and moved to Charlotte that same year. Today, she says she enjoys the full support of her family.

Transgender saints

Once ensconced in Charlotte, Gray delved back into music-making. She began experimenting with a looper pedal that allowed her to layer melodies on top of one another. Gray started playing ambient music as a nightly ritual to help soothe her anxiety.

She also continued to pursue digital painting in private. Soon, her art would go public.

“I started sharing my art three years ago,” Gray remembers. “I had a table with some of my prints at a small event that a lot of people came to.”

Some trans customers came to the table and purchased some pieces. Gray was excited to find buyers, but even happier to connect with so many trans people.

Once something she needed to do for herself to explore and express feelings that enabled her to deal with her gender transition, Gray’s art became something far bigger. Her works became an avenue of representation, not just for herself but for other trans people. She realized that voices like hers were not being heard.

Gray began exhibiting in 2019. That year, her art was featured in local shows including Born This Way at Canvas Tattoo and Trans Day of Remembrance events.

In 2020, she showed work at Girls Rock Charlotte’s Femme at Five event, Goodyear Arts’ Hilites Fest II, Charlotte Pride Spring Spotlight and more.

In May 2021, Gray contributed a piece to Match Studio Collaborative’s Advocacy as Art show. The artwork

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ARTS FEATURE touched on the dark side of being trans — being depressed, afraid and feeling like you have no support.

“It feels like you’re underwater,” Gray says.

So, she created a piece that depicted hands pulling someone out of the water. She chose Trans Lifeline as the recipient of all funds raised by her work. The grassroots nonprofit hosts a hotline and allocates microgrants to trans people in crisis.

“It’s important to me to help these people,” Gray says. “I’ve had struggles with suicidal ideation for my whole life up until the last few years.”

For Gray, her art is advocacy, and it’s important that her work offers a monetary as well as metaphoric helping hand.

“I want my art to uplift people,” she says. “It’s not just to help me pay the bills.”

Digital painting is an emerging art form in which traditional painting techniques such as watercolor, oils, impasto, etc. are applied using digital tools by means of a computer, a graphics tablet and software To create a digital painting, Gray starts with sketches and photos, using herself as a model in various poses. In terms of visuals, she’s drawn to Christian imagery because she feels it’s ingrained in our culture.

“I’m not necessarily religious, but I like the meaning and weight that comes with that imagery,” she says. “I build upon that.”

In 2019, Gray created a series of paintings depicting trans saints. The sequence illustrates her goal of creating art that subverts existing iconography to a new narrative — a story about empowering trans people of color.

Peppered with arrows, St. Sebastian is reimagined as a transmasculine angel. In the digital painting entitled “Sacred Heart,” a trans woman cradles the titular heart, a Catholic symbol for Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. In “The Seven Sorrows,” a trans woman is pierced by seven swords symbolizing the seven sorrows of Mary — a series of trials and tragedies that includes both the crucifixion and burial of Jesus.

Several of the saints depicted are martyrs, reflecting the high rate of violent death among transgender people, particularly trans women of color. In April, the Human Rights Commission reported at least 14 transgender or gender nonconforming people violently killed in the U.S in 2021. The death toll includes two Black transgender women murdered in April in Charlotte.

“One of the hardest things about existing as a Black trans woman is dealing with all the death that I see,’ Gray says.

Art as advocacy

Another digital painting from 2019, called “Duality,” depicts two identical trans women standing on either side of a column of light in all the colors of the rainbow. When she created the dual portrait, Gray says she was starting to feel connected to her body for the first time.

“It’s very much about trans joy,” she says.

Her “12 Limbs” painting, which graces the cover of this issue, stemmed from a desire to explore more positive things after depicting so many martyrs. The painting is also influenced by the late French fantasy artist Jean Giraud. Under the pseudonym Mœbius, Giraud garnered worldwide acclaim for his work in comics and the design elements he contributed to movies like Alien, The Fifth Element and Tron. “[Mœbius] creates these elaborate worlds that feel strange, majestic and comforting,” Gray says.

In “Preceptor,” a work dating to August 2020, a figure that looks like Gray appears to be making tai chi moves. Her eyes are all white, without irises or pupils. The painting is about wisdom and guidance, Gray says.

“I chose to make [the character] look demonic because of how much LGBTQ liberation is demonized,” she says. “Feeling that stigma makes me want to embrace that imagery and subvert it into something positive.”

Swathed in serpents, a winged dark angel drips blood from its taloned hand in a recent work from February 2021. The symbolism, Gray says, is unplanned.

“That one is pulled from my subconscious,” she says. “I had the saints in mind, but I wanted to do the opposite, [but] I still wanted it to have a sense of power.”

Gray’s most recent work is called “Trans People Are Sacred.” It depicts a person in a red cloak walking away from the viewer. There are monuments on either side of the figure — nude classical-style statues of trans people.

Gray says she has encountered anti-trans prejudice, some of it stemming from the assumption that being trans is her entire identity. Gray counts several incidents where she has felt unsafe. Sexual harassment is all too common. Because Gray has depicted figures nude to illustrate that they are transgender or non-binary, she has heard from people who eroticize and fetishize trans bodies.

“I used to do a lot more nudity [in my art],” Gray explains. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to do that without having people … send me nude pictures unsolicited, or share inappropriate stuff.”

In general, Gray feels safer now than ever before

because she has experienced solidarity with other slowly building horror soundtrack chord is torn to tatters by roaring guitar. With wailing siren-like queer and trans people and their allies. synths and lyrics conveyed in a growling goblin whisper, “Bombingham” references a nickname for A musical career progresses Along with her art, Gray’s music has also Birmingham, Alabama, a city that witnessed a series blossomed. Encouraged by a friend to take her of bombings carried out by white supremacists music public, she plays guitar and keyboards as well during the civil rights movement.

“I was drawn to black metal because I feel like as synthesizers and samplers that she programs. it’s a good medium to make music about injustice,” “That allows me to do stuff with drones and Gray says.

At the same time, she is also proficient at have a fuller sound,” Gray says.

Her discography includes the dark synthwave playing the kind of ambient electronic music that albums Sheliah Court (September 2019), Bloom she’s used to sooth her anxiety.

“I want a balance of the two, where parts are (March 2020) and Wrapped in Flesh (October 2020). really heavy, but it’s not bleak and making people She describes the latest as anti-fascist black metal, lose hope,” she says. but it is so much more.

At present, Grays music trends darker and more Gray’s music — mystical, dark, romantic and aggressive than her digital paintings, which uplift angry — can be heard on a bill that includes Alex Lippert, Leo Wulf and Sweet Boy for a night of and celebrate trans and non-binary people. Gray experimental electronic music on Nov. 27 at Petra’s. believes that despite the difference in approaches On songs like “Blue Curses,” an ethereal between her music and art, both balance each other synthesizer build-up is shattered by Gray’s macabre and are compatible.

“I want the overall message and intent of both and breathy black metal scream, buried in the mix my art and music to be hopeful,” Gray says. “At the beneath stuttering machine gun drums that suggest end of the day, I want people to feel like we can the staccato work of German free jazz band leader make a difference.”

Peter Brötzmann.

On “Violent Harm Reduction,” an ominous,

PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM

THU-SUN11_18 - 11_21 THEY FIGHT 2.0

“Let fall thy blade on vulnerable crests,” Macbeth tells Macduff. “I bear a charmed life, which must not yield to one of woman born.” This lines leads to swordplay, mayhem and decapitation, but you don’t get a good description of the action in Shakespeare’s play. Spinning off the barest of stage directions found in classic theatre, Free Reign Theatre presents They Fight 2.0, a stage combat show spotlighting the best brawls in literature — iconic scenes featuring Macbeth, Cyrano de Bergerac and more. The theatrical brawling includes flashing blades, fisticuffs and even a wrestling match.

More: $20; Nov. 18-21, times vary; Brooklyn Grace, 219 S. Brevard St.; blumenthalarts.org STACEY ABRAMS Photo by Gage Skidmore

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In Georgia’s 2018 gubernatorial race, political leader, voting rights activist, entrepreneur and New York Times bestselling author Stacey Abrams was robbed.

Republican candidate and then Georgia Secretary of State Brian Kemp used his position to suppress lowincome and Black votes to win the election. Abrams responded by turning Georgia into a battleground state that currently boasts two Democratic U.S. senators. Her book, Our Time is Now, chronicles a chilling account of how the right to vote continues to be under attack.

More: $32.50 and up; Nov. 17, 7:30 p.m.; Ovens Auditorium, 2700 E. Independence Blvd.; blumenthalarts.org

RENLUKA MAHARAJ Photo courtesy of McColl Center

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In his 40-plus-year career, late North Carolina architect Philip G. Freelon focused on projects that foreground African-American communities. Freelon believed architecture should be more than a container, it should help tell the story of the content of the public parks and buildings he designed. The Gantt Center hosts a panel of experts on architecture and identity who will discuss the way their individual work investigates and reveals intersections between African-American culture and the design of the built environment, plus explore how Freelon’s buildings relate to these wider narratives.

More: Free; Nov. 18, 7 p.m.; online; youtube.com/GanttCenter

The Avant Goodyear series brings NYC piano legend Matthew Shipp to Charlotte for a solo concert. With a unique and instantly recognizable style, described as a vortex of swirling gravity, Shipp has enlivened the jazz scene since the late 1980s. Downbeat calls Shipp “the politically active icon of New York’s underground jazz scene.” He ricochets beyond any boundaries, entangling free jazz, post-bop and modern classical in an impenetrable Gordian Knot of out-of-this-heliosphere musical magic. He’ll be accompanied by Charlotte’s incomparable makers of vital sounds, jazz combo Ghost Trees and Dylan Gilbert performing a solo set.

More: Free; Nov. 18, 7 p.m.; Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave.; petrasbar.com

McColl Center hosts this free event, featuring hands-on art workshops and activities. Artist-inresidence William D. Caballero hosts a motioncapture technology demonstration. Attendees are also invited to have their artistic portrait taken with artists-in-residence Ken West and Renluka Maharaj.

A veteran of the digital-design world, photographer West creates documentary images that stand in stark contrast to the binary world. A descendant of indentured laborers from Trinidad and Tobago, mixedmedia artist Maharaj incorporates photography, installations, research and travel to bring attention to a time in history that often goes forgotten.

More: Free; Nov. 20, 12 p.m.; McColl Center, 721 N. Tryon St.; mccollcenter.org

ARCHITECTURE AND IDENTITY: SITUATING PHIL FREELON

AVANT GOODYEAR: MATTHEW SHIPP OPEN STUDIO SATURDAY

NOV. 27, 2021 . KNIGHT Theater AT LEVINE CENTER FOR THE ARTS

BlumenthalArts.org

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The World of Anna Sui shines a spotlight on designer Anna Sui’s process, allowing the viewer to step inside her imagination and watch it unfold in her fashion designs. No other fashion designer captures the zeitgeist of a historic period, place, or artistic movement in such a timeless yet contemporary look. Sui designs the entire look, from dress to accessories, hair styles to makeup, and even sound and scent. The exhibit examines the designer’s heroes from her youth and the importance of her collaborators, including the New York City Garment District.

More: Free; Nov. 20, 11 a.m.; Mint Museum Randolph, 2730 Randolph Road; mintmuseum.org

Lofidels centers on Lenny Muckle, a self-described synth-punk Cthulhu and a Black musician in a mostly white punk rock world, who launched the project as a one-man band in 2014. Inspired by stuttering roar of The Dead Boys’ “Sonic Reducer” and the angular pot-punk neo-Marxist funk of Gang of Four, Muckle creates textured alternative rock where electronics and guitars tangle with lyrics that are angry, vulnerable and philosophical. Muckle has said his music is exploratory and experimental not because it sounds avant-garde, but because his creative process welcomes experimentation.

More: $10; Nov. 26, 9:30 p.m.; Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St.; snugrock.com

A group of 20-something Manhattanites hang around a fountain while a catchy handclapping theme song plays. Then they hang around a coffee shop and trade quips. One of the characters sings about her smelly cat, and the song’s title goes on to give its name to a popular NoDa coffee shop. With the show’s subsequent success, alt-pop band The Rembrandts pumped up their 30-second theme to a three-minute hit single. FRIENDS! The Musical Parody recreates iconic moments from all 10 years of the sitcom through an uncensored, fast-paced music-filled romp.

More: $28.50 and up; Nov. 27, 7:30 p.m.; Knight Theater, 430 S. Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org

Long Island Beach, NJ, troubadour Ryan Zimmerman tops a bill devoted to melodic singer-songwriters. A mélange of roots music influences inspire Zimmerman’s sharp songwriting, which is bolstered with windmill rhythm guitar reminiscent of Robbie Roberson. Bostonborn, Queen City-based Patrick Mawn crafts tunes that entwine indie, folk and rock into a braided stream of rhythm and melody. Charlotte-based Kevin Goodwin describes his lively songs as music to make you feel like the main character in a coming-of-age movie.

More: $10; Nov. 28, 8 p.m.; The Milestone, 3400 Tuckaseegee Road; themilestone.club

THE WORLD OF ANNA SUI OPENING

LOFIDELS, 2 SLICES, SALTI RAY

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FRIENDS! THE MUSICAL PARODY

RYAN ZIMMERMAN, PATRICK MAWN, KEVIN GOODWIN

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER

Who knew that a trio of tinpot robots kibbitzing about less than stellar movies would prove to be such a durable concept? Created by Joel Hodgson, Mystery Science Theater 3000 premiered on a Minneapolis TV station in 1988. Thirty-three years, 217 episodes, one feature film and three live tours later, Mystery Science Theater 3000 LIVE hits town with an all new production. Host Emily Connor and the world’s greatest movie-riffing robots, Tom Servo, Crow and GPC tackle the 1985 German horrorfantasy misfire Making Contact, directed by Independence Day auteur Roland Emmerich.

More: $25 and up; Nov. 30, 7:30 p.m.; Knight Theater, 430 S. Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org

ANNA SUI Photo by Raoul Gatchalian

LENNY MUCKLE, AKA LOFIDELS Photo by Lenny Muckle

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MUSIC FEATURE

MOVING FOR MORE

Zeta’s Juan Chi makes a new home in Charlotte

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BY RYAN PITKIN

In the video for their latest single, “La Flor De La Palabra,” the band assembles on a windswept, driftwood strewn beach. Under glowering clouds cut by the whirring rotors of a helicopter high overhead, drummer Eduardo Sandoval kicks off the jam. His jittery, galloping percussion seems to infect the band’s tumbling preternatural keyboards, bass and guitar, all choppy sci-fi sound effects, like Pink Floyd’s score for Zabriskie Point, bolstered with swiping strings across fret-boards that suggest the fluttery bat-wing sounds of Bauhaus’ “Bela Lugosi’s Dead.”

Then, improbable Latin jazz trombone dopplers down like a freight train headed straight for your Toyota stranded at the crossing. The swinging trombone, coupled with clattering steel drum-style beats and plaintive free jazz keys, begins to suggest a South American street carnival with all the background noises pushed forward in the mix.

Threading through it all are bubbling horror movie electronics; soaring and swarming female-fronted vocals and wailing, rampaging ZETA rhinoceros guitar. Add some snippets of Spanish-language announcers, and “La Flor De La Palabra” (The Flower Of The Palabra) sounds like a radio dial skittering from station to station, never settling long on any frequency — and somehow it all coalesces in an uneasy yet joyous alliance that simultaneously swings and rocks out.

It’s a wild ride that’s over in just three-and-ahalf minutes, and despite the wide range of sounds featured within, Zeta frontman Juan Ricardo Yilo, aka Juan Chi, says it’s just a “tiny sample” of what’s coming with the experimental punk band’s new album, Todo Bailarlo, expected to drop in 2022.

“I think it’s going to be way more musical, definitely still very passionate and it’s a strong

expression, but I think it’s way more colorful [than past albums], way more accessible and more inclusive — way more instruments than we’ve had,” he recently told Queen City Nerve about the new album.

So in a word, Todo Bailarlo is more.

Fans can get a taste for what more is to come at Snug Harbor on Nov. 19, when Zeta will lead a bill that includes local icon of the experimental scene Andy the Doorbum; as well as Bravo Pueblo, the latest project from siblings Claudio and Lisa Ortiz, known for their past work with local bands Chócala and Patabamba.

The show will serve as a simultaneous celebration of Yilo’s arrival — he moved to Charlotte from Miami just three months ago — and a short-

“The idea behind the name and the concept is celebrate the resilience of our communities and how they dance through everything ­— the good, the bad, the sad, the happy,” he said. “Like salsa music is not all about romantic things, it is also about life and mostly the hardest parts. Those are the tunes that our people dance to the most, so the name of our album is a way of honoring that skill.”

culture right there in front of our eyes — mosh pits and other bands with merch, the full-on punk experience,” Yilo said.

They returned home and made a decision: If a Canadian band could tour around Latin America, so could they.

“We had just a bunch of fan zines and punk literature and reading about so many different things, we were inspired. ‘There’s no reason why we shouldn’t try this here,’” he recalled of that time.

To Charlotte by way of Venezuela It’s been a long road for Yilo and his fellow “But it was just such a new idea. We would play in band members to arrive at this point. He and his cities where we would put up our merch and people close friend Daniel Saud first formed Zeta as high would be like, ‘What is this? Why do you even have schoolers living in the small town of Lecheria, shirts?’ We were like, ‘Well, this is merch and this is how we sustain ourselves and help to carry on the Venezuela, in 2003.

They brought on other friends and continued to tour,’ and they were like, ‘What tour? Where are you from? What?’”

The band used MySpace to connect with other acts around the continent, or other punk bands interested in traveling to South America.

They continued to build a name in the region, while somewhat tarnishing their names in their more traditional suburban hometown.

“I remember when we started touring and we came back with a bunch of tattoos, people looked at us weird,” Yilo said. “Doing a normal daily errand like going to pay the water bill, it was like, ‘Oh no, we can’t allow you to come in here if you’re not wearing long sleeves.’ So we were just the weird kids down there, and we found a home in punk music and rebellion.”

Eventually, it was time to fly the coop.

The band began traveling to the United States to play shows around PHOTO BY GABE LUGO 2015, and family members encouraged them to stay and seek out opportunities for full-time work there. play together into adulthood, then began touring Beginning in 2016, the band petitioned for and around South America in 2008. eventually received visas to work in the U.S. The To the average American reader, that may sound like an expected path, one that is almost cliche. But agreement specifically stated that each member in Venezuela and elsewhere around Latin America, would have to work in music to keep their visa, the DIY tour life was completely unknown even to which inspired the band to take touring more seriously. hardcore music fans.

They settled in Miami with the understanding The band traveled to Costa Rica once in 2008 and that they were now full-time musicians. played a show opening for Canadian band Combat Their DIY ethos remained the same, as they Kids. It would change their lives. became hyper-focused on creating new music and “We were part of a group of friends, just a playing shows all around the country. handful of kids that were into punk music,” Yilo said.

term farewell, as Zeta will kick off an East Coast tour at that Friday night show.

The Snug Harbor show will be Zeta’s last live performance of the year with the Abajo Cadenas Orchestra, which collaborated on many of its newest songs, including “La Flor De La Palabra.”

It will also be their last performance of the year at which they bring out the dancing devil, a Venezuelan tradition that goes back to the 1700s and is believed to help ward off tough times.

In fact, the entire new album is tied to this tradition, as Todo Bailarlo translates to “Dance it all,” explained Yilo.

“Until we went out, we didn’t really see the entire

MUSIC FEATURE

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The core and the collective

Todo Bailarlo marks a sort of transformation for Zeta, which has for years consisted of four core members: Juan Chi on vocals and guitar, Saud on guitar, Gabriel Duque on bass, and Eduardo Sandoval on drums.

But remember: Todo Bailarlo is more. While the band has always acted as a collective, bringing on members here and there to play a string of shows or help with recording songs, the new album sees the addition of the The Abajo Cadenas Orchestra, a collective of musicians spread out across the world that has collaborated with Zeta on many of their latest recordings.

The orchestra acts as an extension of the band itself, adding flavors of traditional sounds to the existing hard rock and punk sounds that Zeta is known for. The new album experiments with sounds not only from their home country of Venezuela but the Caribbean, Brazil and elsewhere in Latin America.

Todo Bailarlo includes elements of calypso, cumbia, salsa, bossa nova and Afro-Caribbean rhythms.

It’s not lost on Yilo that, upon moving to the United States, Zeta began to focus more on the sounds of home. He points to homesickness and the Latin-American immigrant experience for inspiring the change.

As teenage Venezuelans, family members often tried to push Yilo and his bandmates to listen to more Latin jazz, salsa and other sounds. Their rebellious punk attitudes, however, stood in the way.

When they arrived in the United States, they began to long for the sounds of home. Living in Miami, which Yilo still calls “a north Latin-American city,” they connected with immigrant communities who hold those styles of music dear as their bridge to home.

It all built up to a new appreciation for the music of their homeland.

“There are these other expressions that here are very meaningful to our communities and we want to try to embrace that more,” Yilo said. “We had other ways of connecting with them in deeper ways, because whenever you find someone that speaks your own language or likes the same food you like or has the same types of questions, figuring out the community and how to navigate it, and all the worries that you share with the people from your cultural background, being immigrants, it’s been eye-opening.”

A sand grain in community

That appreciation also translates to the band’s live performances, which often serve as a mix of concert, community meeting and potluck. While they haven’t been able to resume the shared food concept since the pandemic started, Zeta has continued turning its gigs into public forums, book exchanges and whatever can help connect them to the community they’re playing in.

“Back in the days when we were doing the touring in South America, the food was a big thing,” Yilo explained. “It was always before or after the show we would gather with the bands and with the people from the art communities in the little places where we played, and that was a great way of knowing each other and also retrieving a little bit of the energy that is given to us.”

It’s an energy that Yilo has been tapping into in Charlotte since moving here in August. He came to connect with Claudio and Lisa Ortiz, whom he performed with during a Zeta/Chócala show at Oso Skate Park in 2018 and felt an instant connection with. The brother and sister now perform with Zeta as part of the Abajo Cadenas Orchestra, which will join them onstage Nov. 19 Snug Harbor show.

Yilo calls the two bands’ connection a “band crush,” but it’s more than that. He and Lisa are currently in a relationship, and it’s readily apparent during our conversation how happy he was to be living in the same city with her.

Still, Yilo has deeper reasons for coming to Charlotte. After visiting many times in recent years and witnessing the work that Claudio and Lisa were doing in a city where the Latinx population was only beginning to build a true sense of community, he decided he would rather play a role in that than remain in Miami where the community already exists.

“Miami is great, I think being down there talking Spanish straight up all day everyday and listening to Latin music in the background at any time and anywhere you go is super cool, but I felt very moved by all the things that Claudio and Lisa showed me from Charlotte,” he said.

“I think here I could possibly do a more positive thing for our community. We have this expression of trying to put our little sand grain where it belongs, and I feel here my little sand grain will make more of a difference than it would in Miami.”

Because, in a word, Todo Bailarlo is more.

Pat Moran contributed reporting to this article.

RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM

Shop Small Saturday 9am-1pm November 27 Start your holiday shopping by giving the gift of local.

25 local food artisans & crafters Live music by Persona Bell The Shoppes at University Place Don’t miss our final market of 2021

University City Farmers Market is brought to you by University City Partners and with generous donations from Atrium Health and All American Gutter Protection.

MUSIC FEATURE

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

John Chin reimagines the music of McCoy Tyner (Booth Playhouse) Charlotte Symphony: Beethoven’s Symphony No. 4 (Knight Theater) Ace Livingston (Middle C Jazz)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 17 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The Spill Canvas w/ Kulick (Amos’ Southend) The Bleeps w/ Distemper, Flat Out Insult (Snug Harbor)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B Tech N9ne (Fillmore)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Country 103.7 Stage of Stars: Dierks Bentley, Jon Pardi, Darius Rucker, Carley Pearce, Clay Walker.

(Coyote Joe’s)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC Liz Longley w/ Portair (Evening Muse)

BLUES/FUNK/JAM BANDS

Tropidelic w/ Bumpin’ Uglies, The Ries Brothers (Visulite Theatre)

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 18 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Goldpark and the Thing With Feathers (Evening Muse) Monachopsis w/ Wilma, Added Color, Jordyn Zaino (The Milestone)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Alina Baraz (Fillmore) Rap Van Gogh (Ford Building, Camp North End)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

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The Hooten Hallers w/ Wes & the Railroaders, Witch Motel (Snug Harbor) Coddle Creek w/ The Maggie Valley Band (Visulite Theatre)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

Queens Court’s Legendary Musical Review (Middle C Jazz) Matthew Shipp (Petra’s)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC Chris McGinnis (Primal Brewery)

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 19 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Stop Light Observations w/ Arson Daily and Deaf Andrews (Amos’ Southend) The Brummies w/ Vlad Holiday (Evening Muse) Sullivan King (Fillmore) South Side Punx w/ The Not Likelys, Soda City Riot, Flat Out Insult (The Milestone) Cuzco w/ Youth League, Pullover (Petra’s) Junior Astronomers w/ Dear Blanca, Babe Club (Neighborhood Theatre) The Camel City Blackouts w/ DOVECAGE, Oh! You Pretty Things, Hey Revolver (Skylark Social Club) Zeta w/ Andy the Doorbum, Bravo Pueblo (Snug Harbor) The Brook & The Bluff w/ Lindsey Lomis (Visulite Theatre)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

John Chin reimagines the music of McCoy Tyner (Booth Playhouse) Charlotte Symphony: Beethoven’s Symphony No. 4 (Knight Theater)

BLUES/FUNK/JAM BANDS Slim Gambill (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ Tiesto (World Nightclub)

OPEN MIC

Blumenthal Open Mic (Booth Playhouse)

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 20 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Killakoi w/ Stellar Circuits, Scars Remain , Rock U Band Students (Amos’ Southend) DREAMBOAT w/ North by North, The Mongos (Petra’s) Susto w/ Swim in the Wild (Neighborhood Theatre) Pursey Kerns (Primal Brewery) Warpath w/ The Dirty Low Down, Good Good Grief, Giant Robot Academy (Skylark Social Club) Ben Gatlin Band (Smokey Joe’s Cafe) Genesis (Spectrum Center) The Nude Party w/ WOAH (Visulite Theatre)

Adam Hood w/ Sam Foster of Whiskey Foxtrot (Evening Muse)

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 21 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The Pintos (Comet Grill) Bluestone Motel w/ Leaving for Arizona, Rugg (The Milestone)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Hazy Sunday (Petra’s) BoomBox w/ ETHNO (Visulite Theatre)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Willie Watson w/ Vincent Neil Emerson (Neighborhood Theatre)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC Death of August (Tommy’s Pub)

CHRISTIAN/GOSPEL/RELIGIOUS

Gospel Sunday w/ The El Lambert Band (Middle C Jazz)

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 22 LATIN/WORLD

Karol G (Ovens Auditorium)

OPEN MIC

Find Your Muse Open Mic feat. Rob Doherty (Evening Muse)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’’s)

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 23 POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Lost Cargo Tiki Social Party (Petra’s)

CHRISTIAN/GOSPEL/RELIGIOUS

Gina’s Annual Christmas Benefit Concert (Stage Door Theater)

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 24 ROCK/PUNK/METAL Wine Pride w/ Ogres,

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B Toosii (Fillmore)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC Josh Daniel (Smokey Joe’s Cafe)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

Jay D. Soul and Organic Soul present Thanksgiving with Soul (Middle C Jazz)

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 26 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

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Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill) Synchronicity (Police Tribute) w/ Bad Inc. (Bad Company/Paul Rodgers Tribute) (Amos’ Southend) Ogres & Friends (The Milestone) Lofidels w/ 2 Slices, Salty Ray (Snug Harbor) The Carolina Waltz feat. Josh Daniel and friends (Visulite Theatre)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Pi’erre Bourne (The Underground) Dro Kenji w/ Prettifun (Neighborhood Theatre) COLORS Worldwide Presents: R&B Only (Fillmore)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC Ellis Paul (Evening Muse) Matt Stratford (Primal Brewery)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Shadow Play: ’80s and ’90s Dance Party (Petra’s)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Charlotte Symphony: Home Alone (Belk Theater) Willis Hickerson Bill Withers Tribute (Middle C Jazz)

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 27 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 29

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Noel & Maria: Together Again for the Holidays (Booth Playhouse)

Black Tusk w/ Restless Spirit, Haal (Snug Harbor)

OPEN MIC

VISIT QCNERVE.COM FOR THE FULL SOUNDWAVE LISTING.

Find Your Muse Open Mic feat. Hannah Delynn (Evening Muse)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s) Dilworth Hustlas (Comet Grill) Mostley Crue (Motley Crue Tribue) w/ Sickman (Alice in Chains Tribute) (Amos’ Southend) Alex Lippert w/ Leo Wulf, Lena Gray, Sweet Boy (Petra’s) POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ Donnie Doolittle w/ Funeral Chic, Dipstick (Snug Champagne Drip (SERJ) Harbor) Simplified w/ Bradley Wik & the Charlatans (Visulite OPEN MIC Theatre) Bold Music Open Mic (Evening Muse)

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 30

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

2 Chainz (Fillmore) Ma$e (World Nightclub)

NOVEMBER 2021

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Chatham County Line w/ Blue Cactus (Neighborhood Theatre)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Malcolm Holcombe album release (Evening Muse)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC Lucii (The Underground) Digital Noir (The Milestone)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL Charlotte Symphony: Home Alone (Belk Theater) Willis Hickerson Bill Withers Tribute (Middle C Jazz)

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 28 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Jinjer w/ Suicide Silence, All Hail the Yeti (The Underground) Ryan Zimmerman w/ Kevin Goodman, Patrick Mawn (The Milestone) Snail Mail w/ Spencer., Hotline TNT (Neighborhood Theatre)

BLUES/FUNK/JAM BANDS

Piedmont Four (Tommy’s Pub)

TUE, NOVEMBER 16

MON, NOVEMBER 22

SMITHFIELD

FIND YOUR MUSE OPEN MIC

WED, NOVEMBER 17

FRI, NOVEMBER 26

W/ TOM MACKELL

FEAT. OUR DEAR FRIEND BOB DOHERTY

LIZ LONGLEY W/ PORTAIR

THU, NOVEMBER 18

GOLDPARK & THE THING WITH FEATHERS FRI, NOVEMBER 19

THE BRUMMIES W/ VLAD HOLIDAY

S A T, N O V E M B E R 2 7

MALCOM HOLCOMBE ALBUM RELEASE SHOW

TUE, NOVEMBER 30

S A T, N O V E M B E R 2 0

ADAM HOOD

ELLIS PAUL PAUL HOOPER COMEDY NIGHT (18+)

BOLD MUSIC OPEN MIC

W/ SAM FOSTER (WHISKEY FOXTROT)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL Mannheim Steamroller (Belk Theater)

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3 3 2 7 n d av i d s o n s t, c h a r l o t t e n c

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

A GEM OF THE SOUTH

Sanctuary Bistro quietly carries out vegan mission in south Charlotte

BY JASIATIC ANDERSON

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We don’t deserve Sanctuary Bistro.

I’m not sure what I was expecting when I finally made it to this unassuming, fine-dining vegan restaurant tucked into the Piper Glen area of south Charlotte. Since I found myself in the neighborhood on a day when they’re open for lunch (they’re closed Sunday through Tuesday), I decided to stop by.

Firstly, I never imagined it to be as beautiful as it was — strip malls can be deceiving — but the food is what truly took me by surprise.

I ordered a macadamia miso salad with crispy tofu on my first visit. In a world of cashew and almond everything, macadamia tasted like manna.

Though I couldn’t have imagined it could get better, it did.

I returned on another night for dinner and found the charcuterie board to be magic. The oyster mushrooms and the lion’s mane “steak” were the best I’ve ever had. Honestly, I was blown away.

My first time in, I heard a patron wish Chef Barry Horton a “Happy Birthday,” and thought “Wow, he’s working on his birthday?”

For her part, owner Jennifer Jones Horton was taking care of everyone in the restaurant as the only server that day. Sanctuary Bistro is the epitome of family vision and dedication in the restaurant industry.

I had to chat with the folx behind Sanctuary Bistro, so I reached out to Jennifer Jones Horton to learn how this brilliant restaurant came to be, among many other things.

Jasiatic: Tell me about yourself and the rest of the team behind Sanctuary Bistro?

Jennifer Jones Horton: We are a little womanowned business. I am the owner, speaker, writer, front-of-the-house manager, marketer, server, you name it. If it doesn’t involve cooking, I have my hands in it. I grew up in Gloucester, Massachusetts, and have lived in Atlanta, California and now North Carolina.

JENNIFER JONES HORTON PHOTO COURTESY OF SANCTUARY BISTRO

nominated by VegNews three years in a row for best vegan restaurant.

He always lent a helpful hand in the kitchen growing up. In high school, Barry enrolled in a one-semester cooking class, unaware this would eventually be his life’s path.

In 2000, Barry began attending culinary courses at Johnson County Community College when he realized, “This is what I love to do.”

By 2002, taking things more seriously, Barry decided to take his skills to a French culinary program. After perusing his options, Barry chose the Le Cordon Bleu program at the Western Culinary Institute, in which he graduated at the top of his class.

His desire to continue his education learning about an organic, sustainable, vegetarian lifestyle led to his internship at the Ravens Restaurant of the Stanford Inn in Mendocino, where he quickly worked his way up to co-chef in 2005 and head chef in 2006 until October of 2009. During this time, he has learned that a chemical-free, locally grown, plant-based diet is optimal for a long, sound, healthy life, as well as, and most importantly, a

restaurant business since they were 1-and-a-half and 4. Now, we want to do for the community what we’ve been doing for our family. The world is an imperfect place. Many of us feel the weight of responsibility but we can’t fix everything. So we do our small part whenever we can and hope that each small choice creates a ripple and together we can make true change with you.

We have co-created a cookbook: Sanctuary Bistro’s Recipes for Everyday Living: An Easy and Loving Approach to Gluten-Free Veganism. Chef Barry has been creating delectable dishes for any and every palette. He was told once by a culinary instructor, “Never trust a skinny chef,” but this has proven to be false. Barry feels the instructor should have told him to always trust a healthful, conscientious and meaningful chef. A vegan diet is the key to mental, emotional and physical healing. His passion for his food and health is thus transferred to family and friends.

You mentioned that you’ve owned other restaurants. What did you learn during the process?

We opened our first successful restaurant in Berkeley, California, and with great sadness closed that after five-and-a-half years so that we could move closer to family. We opened our Charlotte

The passion behind Sanctuary Bistro began when I was 13. I became concerned about the cruelty and pollution of factory farming when a friend shared a PETA flyer with me. From there, I started buying veggie burgers. For my traditional meat-and-potatoes family, this was considered different and rebellious. As I continued learning, I slowly stopped eating chicken, eggs and eventually seafood, out of compassion.

It was hard not to change once I knew about the cruel treatment that is inflicted on animals. I feel that if people would open their minds to understanding it, they would not choose to hurt something. I have concerns about the effect the meat and dairy industry have on the planet, and so Sanctuary Bistro is our solution for making change.

Executive Chef Barry Horton, my hubby, is amazing in his culinary skills. We are a team BROCCOLI AND “BACON” SOUFFLÉ PHOTO COURTESY OF SANCTUARY BISTRO at work and in life. He has been the executive chef at the famous restaurant in March of 2020.

Ravens Restaurant in Mendocino, California. He has compassionate life.

We also are raising our two children vegan: When you support a local small business you been on television with View from the Bay and has had many published articles in Edible. He was also Jayden and Adeline. They have been raised in the are directly supporting that family behind the

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

We brought our skills into the school and had culinary classes, internships and won a grant for their school as they created nine out of their business and their employees. The money stays 10 lunches as vegan every two weeks. Later we local as the workforce is local and all of their decided the education system is really broken and activities — yoga, ballet, soccer — are all local as decided that we wanted to be a part of change and

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CHEF BARRY HORTON

were drowning a small kindness would reinspire us.

People don’t realize how impactful those moments were. All I can say is thank you to Charlotte for loving on us in times of need. We really felt it.

People can continue to help small businesses by making sure they support them. They still need your help. We aren’t out of the trouble yet. So even though seats are getting filled it is going to take a long time to get into a healthy space for a lot of the little businesses.

PHOTO COURTESY OF SANCTUARY BISTRO

that, by opening a restaurant, we could support well. Let’s make sure we are supporting the small local nonprofits that are creating change for the businesses of Charlotte as they keep the fabric of better. this community vibrant.

We can support animal rights, social justice issues and more. If any nonprofits in Charlotte read Are there any personal philosophies that this, they can send their nonprofit information to are important at Sanctuary Bistro? us at chefbarry@sanctuarybistro.com with their We lead our restaurant’s mission with compassion, mission statement and link to their 501(c)3 to be which is why we are vegan. Our family has been vegan considered for a weekly Wednesday night benefit for 15 years this December. [We express] compassion dinner, where 15% of the sales of the evening are through our food choices and more. Vegan for the donated to a nonprofit. mind, body, spirit, animals and the Earth. We also Lastly, we want to lead with love and choose all organic because we vote with our dollars. compassion to our human comrades of the world. A In California, before our first restaurant, Barry little kindness in this world can go a long way and I was a private chef and I was a special education hope that people feel that when they step foot into teacher. While I worked in many different aspects our restaurant. in the field of education, I was the most touched, moved and inspired by my time working with What was it like to open a restaurant children in alternative schools. during a pandemic?

The students were assigned to be there by the We opened in Charlotte five weeks prior to the court system, through suspensions or from juvenile pandemic. That honestly was the hardest time of our hall. The stories from the students about how they life. It was really stressful. It is hard for businesses had been treated and how we as a society don’t see with such low margins to make it through tough education as holistic is infuriating. Children who situations like this. It is still stressful as we try to dig don’t have access to their basic needs are not going out of the hole and get out of debt. to be able to learn. We have an extremely broken However, the community really did lift us up. education system that struggles to support students That felt amazing and every time we felt like we who are outside the “normalized” box.

What have you learned throughout the process of owning multiple restaurants on opposite ends of the country?

We had a restaurant in Berkeley but closed it to be closer to family. We learned that family is the most important thing. We will always prioritize family so we will be closed on the holidays so we can be with family. Remember to reach out to your family whether by birth or created because life has so much more joy when you have folks in your life to enjoy the moments with. Keep them close and in How can we best support you this crazy world of no time, and work, work, work, and other small, family-owned remember without love and kindness, there isn’t much to shine for. restaurants?

Share their events, support your Although Sanctuary Bistro has closed their favorite restaurants and spread kindness. The biggest thing you can do Thanksgiving orders, look out for their Christmas at restaurants is love on them a little; menu this year. Also keep in mind that they have they have been operating very short- frozen meals you can order. And make a reservation staffed for so long and trying to be the for lunch or dinner now, then thank me later! There best that they can. Remember, it can’t are so many ways to support their space. Let’s make be like it was pre-pandemic. It might sure Sanctuary Bistro is here to stay. take a little longer to get your food or INFO@QCNERVE.COM drink, but I promise if you are kind, you will feel the love from our servers.

Don’t miss our biggest market day of the year!

50 local farmers, food artisans, & crafters Chef Demos Live Music

Kick off your holiday shopping while supporting local small businesses.

Shop Small Saturday 8am-3pm • November 27 across the Charlotte Rail Trail @ Atherton

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LIFESTYLE PUZZLES

LIFESTYLE PUZZLES SUDOKU

TRIVIA TEST

BY FIFI RODRIGUEZ

BY LINDA THISTLE

PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE. ©2020 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.

1. MEASUREMENTS: How many dry quarts are in a peck?

2. GEOGRAPHY: What’s the name of the island where the Statue of Liberty stands?

3. MUSIC: Which composer is known as “The Waltz King”?

4. GEOMETRY: What is a threesided polygon called?

5. ASTRONOMY: What is it called when three celestial bodies are arranged in a straight line?

6. TELEVISION: How many Huxtable children were in the long-running “The Cosby Show”?

7. MOVIES: What’s the name of the town in the “Halloween” horror movie series?

8. SCIENCE: What does the acronym FM stand for?

9. LITERATURE: Which famous novel begins with the line, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way”?

10. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: What color is alabaster?

CROSSWORD ACROSS 1 Whiteboard wipers 8 Ballpark figure 16 Ballpark figure 20 “Working Girl” actress Griffith 21 Device guiding a train off its track to avoid a collision 22 Wed. follower 23 Functional again after an outage 25 Gas: Prefix 26 “Do Ya” rock gp.

27 Salty Greek cheese 28 Figure skater Midori -29 “The Pleasure -- Company” (Fred Astaire film) 30 Musical key with two sharps: Abbr.

32 Brief hesitation to let words hang in the air 38 Napoleon exile site 42 Milan locale 43 Designer McCartney 44 Symbol used twice after “http:” 48 Guys who read gas or water gauges 50 Open space 51 Dwayne who played Dobie Gillis 53 Apt to snoop 54 Really mean 57 Rat- -- (knock noise) 58 Certain choir voice 62 Summer hrs.

63 Phenomenon in hypnosis 67 Inedible kind of orange 69 Christmas seasons 70 Whac- -- (carnival game)

71 Emily Dickinson poem with the line “Meek my Vive le roi” 78 Greek letters before xis 79 Henchman of Captain Hook 80 Eerie sign 81 Get 40 winks 82 “New Jack City” actor 83 Actor Gavin 86 Birds of a given region 88 Eyelash cosmetics 92 Periodical datum indicating years 95 Dog collar jinglers 96 Duelist Burr 97 Radiation units 98 Guernsey’s archipelago 102 Intl. oil group 106 Queen, in Madrid 107 Counterparts of egos 108 Skating leap 112 Pep rally cry 113 Writer Sarah -- Jewett 114 Device on which you might see the first words of seven answers in this puzzle 120 Molson, e.g.

121 Government bureaus 122 Deny 123 Little whirlpool 124 Put limits on 125 Possibilities DOWN 1 Plant firmly 2 Ruler’s land 3 Tinfoil maker 4 Cinch -- (Hefty brand) 5 Sufficient, in dialect 6 In season

7 Bench, e.g.

8 Actor Byrnes 9 Sun. homily 10 Mr. Capote, to his friends 11 Bond creator Fleming 12 Make smaller 13 Samuel of justice 14 Certain choir voice 15 Unit of work 16 Newspaper employee 17 A ship’s steerer has control of it 18 Ear or heart part 19 Isolde’s love 24 Get 40 winks 29 Repeatedly 31 Sabbath observers, collectively 33 Feel crummy 34 Actress Hagen 35 Kimono tie 36 K thru 12 37 Lordly home 39 Cato’s lang.

40 Singer Mars 41 End in -- (finish even) 44 Groups of devotees 45 Arboreal marsupial 46 Paraphrase 47 Zaire’s Mobutu -- Seko 48 Business school subj.

49 ‘Zine online 52 Resulting in something 55 “Here, have a sample” 56 “In -- face!”

58 $ dispenser 59 Little big cat 60 Part of TNT 61 Bad rating, perhaps 63 Furry friend

GET BACK TO DOING WHAT YOU LOVE.

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# YO U I M P R OV E D # YO U I M P R OV E D

YOUR CARE. YOUR WAY. | ORTHOCAROLINA.COM ON THE BUTTON ©2020 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.

64 Mel’s Diner waitress 65 D.C. VIPs 66 -- Diego 68 “Fancy that!”

72 Laryngitic 73 Urban rec facility 74 Toon frames 75 Sports group 76 “When will -- learn?!”

77 Think aloud 82 “You are not!” rebuttal 83 Carta lead-in 84 Roundish 85 Nick Jr. girl 87 “Fee, fi, fo, --!”

88 Bacterium, e.g.

89 Stuck 90 Soiled 91 Certain food factory 93 Actor Chaney 94 German conjunction 96 Green-light 99 Loyal subject 100 Just kills time 101 -- -mo 103 Utah city 104 Use as a surface for a meal 105 Munches on 109 Reverse 110 Journey 111 Gusto 114 Pothole-filling stuff 115 Outdated RCA product 116 Sundial’s “3” 117 Brief moment 118 Suffix with hobby 119 -- tai

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

AERIN IT OUT BACK IN THE HOUSE

You have to crack a few eggs to self reflect over an omelette

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BY AERIN SPRUILL

This month marks the one-year anniversary of my father’s passing. Last year, I wrote about the odd mix of emotions I felt saying goodbye to my dad as I drank alone on Elizabeth Billiards’ patio for their closing weekend.

This year, I honored his memory by taking the day off and eating two of his favorites: Waffle House and Red Ginger. And of course, in my usual fashion, I also got riproaring drunk to drown the sorrow.

I pulled up outside of the familiar Waffle House building, trimmed in yellow with the red awning and big, black block letters, and thought to myself, “Hope you’re hungry, Daddy.” I walked in and scanned the room, hoping for a booth, only to find that the bar stools were the only vacant seats.

That was probably a good thing. I find myself talking to him aloud in the hopes that I’ll conjure his form, and no one in Waffle House would’ve been prepared for me to have a “mental health moment” as I imagined him sitting across from me, pricking his finger to test his blood sugar before diving into his food and devolving into laughter out of sheer pleasure.

I tried to put my finger on the only thing that had changed … the menu got an upgrade! Everything else remained the same.

The vague but easily identifiable smell of breakfast with no discernible dish hung in the air, the cooks and their quippy banter continued without pause or shame upon customer entry, and the creeping fear of salmonella due to lackluster cleaning practices and food storage all welcomed me home.

The manager barked out orders then sauntered over with neither a smile nor a frown, “What can I get for you, darlin’?”

“I’ll take the All-Star Special with grits, soft scrambled eggs with cheese, hash browns scattered, smothered, covered, and sausage.” He returned to his post to repeat my order aloud despite the fact that surely everyone cooking had already heard it.

As I chewed on my first bite of eggs, my eyes welled up with tears, not because I was upset that the remnants

of eggshells were ruining our reunion breakfast, but because the eggshells reminded me of how imperfect this meal always was. How imperfect my dad was. And how incredibly imperfect and broken I was even a year later.

No, this isn’t a critique of the culinary skills of the “chefs de cuisine” at Waffle House, but an attempt to draw strings between the frame of mind during the day and that of the night. The tangled web of mental health and coping mechanisms that are precursory but later fueled and soothed by my nightlife excursions.

You see, at the very moment I felt eggshell between my teeth, I longed for the comfort that night would bring. For the first swallow of cider to shake his memory from my tears and to wash down my imperfect meal. For the hum of conversations oblivious to my grief to drown out my thoughts. For my “daddy issues” to melt away like the condensation dripping off the bottom of my glass.

And for my attention to turn toward the plethora of people like me looking for ways to numb the pain.

At night, surrounded by friends, foes and strangers, after all these years recording my nightlife experiences, two things have remained unequivocally constant: Everyone is going through or has gone through shit, and most of those people will try their damndest to drink or drug through it.

No, not everyone does this. Some learn how to cope in healthy ways. But in the corners of nightlife that I frequent, the “regulars” are the ones whose stories may differ but who align on finding solitude at the bottom of the bottle.

It may sound grim, but for some, that’s all we have until we “figure it out.” That’s what this column is about.

Yet another version of self-reflection on my position in the nightlife scene.

It conjures the opening of “Praise God” by American poet Gwendolyn Brooks, “Even if you are not ready for the day, it cannot always be night.” Though it’s currently being overplayed on Instagram reels, it no longer feels like a broken record. It sounds different since that lonely day at Waffle House.

In nightlife, there’s often a sense of camaraderie. A veil that brings many together and tries to hide the grim realities of grief, terminal illness, addiction, loneliness, depression and self-doubt among many others. But when the sun comes up, that veil is lifted.

It’s then that we’re forced to figure out how to enjoy scrambled eggs with shells strewn throughout. The challenge then becomes bridging the gap in a way that we are able to make the most out of every day and night.

HOROSCOPE

NOV 17 - NOV 23

NOV 24 - NOV 30

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Some changes might seem confusing at first, especially to an Aries whose impatience levels are pretty shaky this week. Take it one step at a time, Lamb, and soon all will be made clear.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) This is a good time to let that intrepid Aries temperament take charge.

Your strong leadership will help settle those stillunresolved situations. Support comes from a surprising source.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) That difficult situation you’ve been dealing with continues to call for careful handling. Avoid quickly made choices that might not stand up when they’re finally put to the test.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Your problem-solving talents shine as you move to cool down heated emotions. You also inspire trust in all parties when you act with careful consideration of their feelings.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) You still have lots of evaluating to do before you can consider making a commitment. It’s better to move cautiously than to risk stumbling into a major misunderstanding.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) That long-delayed commitment begins to look better to you. But there’s still a crucial fact or two you need to know about it. A health problem needs to be taken care of.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) A previously peevish partner offers to be more helpful with your problems.

But remember: The final choice is yours. Be guided by what you feel is the right thing to do.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Don’t waste time trying to learn why someone you relied on is wavering in his or her support of your stand on a workplace issue.

Move on with the help of more steadfast allies.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) As the Big Cat, you sometimes can be pretty rough on those you suspect of betrayal. The best advice is to pull in those claws and listen to the explanation. It might surprise you.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) Relationships enter a brighter period, both at home and in the workplace.

Prospects also look good for single Leos and Leonas, who can expect a welcome visit from Cupid.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Your inner voice usually guides you well. But a note of caution: This is a period of mixed signals for you, so be careful that you don’t misunderstand the messages you’re getting.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Those mixed signals that were complicating your life are giving way now to clear, definitive guidelines. This makes it easier for you to weigh your options and make decisions.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Cupid’s call beckons both single Librans looking for a new love, as well as couples hoping to strengthen their relationships. A workplace problem is quickly resolved.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Ask your partner for an explanation of what seems to be a sign of strain in your relationship. The sooner you understand the problem, the sooner you can both act to resolve it.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) It’s been a hectic time for you, and you might want to take a break to restore both body and soul. You’ll then be set to face new challenges later this month.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) A new challenge in the workplace holds an exciting promise for the future. But be aware of the fact that you haven’t been told about all the demands you might have to meet.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) It’s a good idea to take a more conservative approach to your financial situation right now. Some plans made earlier this year might need readjusting.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) This is a fine time to move boldly into those new opportunities I promised would open up for you. Check them over, and then choose the best one for you.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Congratulations. Your self-assurance is growing stronger, and you should now feel more confident about making that long-deferred decision about a possible commitment.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) You’re very close to reaching your goal. But be wary of distractions that can lure you off-course and leave you stranded far away from where you really want to be.

BORN THIS WEEK: You have an inner sight that helps you see into people’s hearts. You would be an excellent psychologist or social worker.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Your financial picture brightens as you get into sorting out realistic goals and those that are not reachable at this time. “Caution” remains your fiscal watchword.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) You’re deep into your new project, and that’s just fine. But don’t neglect your family and friends. Spending time with people you care for is always a wise investment.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Past feelings are suddenly reawakened. This could make you emotionally vulnerable. Be careful about decisions you might be asked to make at this time.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) You’ve come to a place where you’ll be facing important decisions that can affect your future. Rely on your strong moral compass to guide you toward making the right choices.

BORN THIS WEEK: You’re gifted with both natural wisdom and wit — a good combination for success as a writer or teacher and, most importantly, a parent.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM 2021 KING FEATURES SYND., INC.

PG.18 PUZZLE ANSWERS

Don’t JUST Recycle,

Recycle

right!

ONLY RECYCLE THESE SIX ITEMS

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LIFESTYLE COLUMN

PG.19 PUZZLE ANSWERS

SAVAGE LOVE SHORT SHORTS Lesbians and other labels

BY DAN SAVAGE

I have a fun little labeling question. I’m a nonbinary person who was assigned male at birth (AMAB). I gravitate towards femininity in life and in love. My question is about the inclusiveness of the label “lesbian.” Is this a label only for women?

Or is it inclusive of everyone who is feminine and is attracted to femininity? My goal is to label myself appropriately without infringing on others.

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ALL LOVES LABELED INCLUSIVELY

As labels go, ALLI, “lesbian” seems pretty darn binary to me. Now, the meaning of any given word evolves and changes over time, of course, and meaning follows use.

But lesbian currently means — and is currently used to mean and will most likely continue to mean — a woman who is exclusively attracted to other women romantically and sexually*. So frankly, ALLI, I’m confused about why someone who’s your brand of non-binary (AMAB, femme and into femmes) would even want to identify as a lesbian. Since you’re neither a woman nor a man, ALLI, why would you want to use such a gendered label? (Why you might feel entitled to use it is another subject, one I’ll leave for commenters to discuss.)

That said, no one can stop you from using the term lesbian to describe yourself. You know how they say in anti-anti-cancel-culture discourse that there’s no such thing as cancel culture, only accountability? Well, ALLI, there’s no such thing as gatekeeping or gatekeepers; there are no identity cops out there with the power to make arrests or issue fines. There are only people who might find your shit annoying. In the case of your specific shit, ALLI, some lesbians are gonna find it annoying — extremely annoying — but annoyed lesbians can’t prevent you from self-identifying as a lesbian any more than annoyed Slate writers can prevent Louis C.K. from selling out stadiums.

No one can cancel him, no one can gatekeep you. *A shout out to all the asexual lesbians, who are attracted to other women romantically but not sexually, and to all the aromantic lesbians, who are attracted to other women sexually but not romantically. I see you and your pride flags, I am familiar with your anime avatars, and I affirm the validity of your lesbianism.

an active social media persona. We’re planning on going out, but I already know that he would fit into an unhealthy pattern of mine: guys who aren’t sure what they want and are reluctant to make commitments. Do I just enjoy the sex that could occur? Or do I steer clear to protect myself?

SHOULD I FUCK THIS INTRIGUING NEW GUY?

Depends. After identifying this unhealthy pattern — your propensity for getting attached to guys who aren’t sure what they want and/or can’t commit — have you been able to enjoy sex without allowing yourself to get attached to guys with commitment issues? If the answer is yes, SIFTING, if you can trust yourself not to catch feelings for someone, then go ahead and fuck this guy.

But if the answer is no — if you can’t fuck a guy without catching feelings — then don’t fuck this guy.

Zooming way out — and this is not a comment on your situation, SIFTING, or your dating history — but sometimes we tell ourselves a man has “commitment issues” when he just doesn’t want to commit to us. And sometimes we tell ourselves a woman “doesn’t know what she wants” when she just doesn’t want us. And that’s fine. We’re just protecting our own egos. But if we believe that shit without reservation — if we buy our own hype — we’ll be devastated when the ex who couldn’t commit to us because “he doesn’t know what he wants” suddenly knows what he wants. And it’s someone else.

TRIVIA ANSWERS: 1. Eight 2. Liberty Island 3. Johann Strauss II

4. A triangle 5. Syzygy 6. Five 7. Haddonfield, Illinois

that’s too bad, and assuming he isn’t dead, it was rude of him to ghost on you like that. But if there was one guy in your area you could have an amazing first date with (even if it went nowhere), GAH, it’s not unreasonable to assume there are other guys in your area you could have equally amazing first dates with (dates that might go somewhere).

8. Frequency modulation 9. “Anna Karenina” 10. White

there isn’t one on his dick, his dick isn’t getting anywhere near your hole/holes — and if his dick gets near your hole without a condom on it, or if the condom should magically disappear after his dick is in your hole, you’ll be filing a police report. And second, don’t make requests, explicit or otherwise. From here on out, WTFWT, make demands.

Unambiguous, unequivocal demands. And go get tested.

I WENT DOWN ON A FRIEND THIS WEEK AND I NOTICED SHE HAD A GROWTH ON HER LABIA I AM Cis, married, straight man here. You’re my gay SURE IT IS FINE BUT ANY IDEA WHAT IT WAS? crush. Given the chance, how would you seduce me?

WHAT WAS THAT I’ve never had man-sex before, because I really like pussy and the way women feel, but I think I could do I HAVE NO IDEA BUT IF THE GROWTH WAS IN A SPOT it for you. You’ve always been my celeb “man-pass.”

YOUR FRIEND MIGHT HAVE DIFFICULTY SEEING YOU How can we get this started? I’m just a straight guy I’m a 31-one-year-old cis woman living in the SHOULD SAY SOMETHING TO HER SO SHE CAN GET IT writing to a gay guy, asking him to fuck him.

South. Dating here is a nightmare. It feels like CHECKED OUT BY A DOCTOR. LUSTING AFTER DAN everyone got married at 22 and is super into Jesus.

I just broke up with someone and got back on the I dated someone recently for a few weeks Straight guys who make passes at gay men assume apps, and the first date I went on was amazing. and had sex, it was unprotected, and I found we’re all going think, “OMG, this is my one chance to sleep Really cool liberal, age-appropriate dude with out immediately after that he had herpes. I was with a real man!” In reality, LAD, what most gay men are a similar sense of humor. I had so much fun, and annoyed because I had condoms next to the bed. thinking when a straight guy hits on us is, “Jesus Christ, we exchanged numbers. And then ... nothing. I But I also felt partly responsible since we didn’t this dude is gonna shit all over my dick.” Now, that thought bit the bullet and followed up and still haven’t have a discussion first. He wound up having a doesn’t stop some gay men from sleeping with straightheard anything. At what point do I write this guy breakout a few days later. We continued dating and identified guys who are bi or gay and closeted, LAD, nor off as a ghost? And how do I deal with the utter used condoms after that until one night when I was does it stop some gay men from sleeping with the rare disappointment of being ghosted by a dude I really high on edibles, and he didn’t use a condom. This straight-but-situationally-heteroflexible guy with a very connected with? was after he asked me earlier if I felt comfy going specific crush on one of us. But it’s always annoying when GHOSTS ARE HORRIBLE without condoms again and I explicitly requested a straight guy assumes his straightness is an aphrodisiac condoms. We aren’t together now, but it feels really that drives gay men wild and asks questions like, “Given the I took a call on the Savage Lovecast last week from a fucked up. He seemed like the nicest person. chance, how would you seduce me?”That framing assumes woman who was angry about being ghosted by a man — WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT I would try, or would want to try, if I had the chance. a neighbor whose front door she had to walk past every So, you could say, I’m just a gay guy responding to a day — and then she saw the coroner wheeling the guy’s What that was, WTFWT, was fucked up. And that straight guy, asking him to get over himself. dead body out of his apartment on a gurney. Like the guy wasn’t nice. There’s not a lot you can do about it now meme says, “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you besides learning from the experience. First, don’t drop Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage; questions@ I’ve been flirting with this guy from my class. know nothing about.” As for your battle, GAH, look on the hints. Don’t put condoms on the nightstand and hope the savagelove.org; get Dan’s podcast at www.savage.love.

He’s four years older and seems very into drugs bright side: The first date you went on after getting back on other person takes the hint and uses a condom. Tell the and certain subcultures, but he also maintains the apps went pretty well! There was no second date, and other person the condoms are there to be used and that if

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