Queen City Nerve - March 9, 2022

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 8; MARCH 9-22, 2022; WWW.QCNERVE.COM

Spring Guide 2022 Let’s kick it outside pg. 4

MUSIC: UltimaNota pushes Latin music to the forefront pg. 8

FOOD: A long-awaited grocery co-op in the West End pg. 14

Pg. 2 - March 9-22, 2022

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TABLE OF CONTENTS SPRING GUIDE 2022

4 Let’s Kick It Outside All the best outdoor events in arts, music, sports, food & drink

ARTS & CULTURE

6 On the Homefront by Ryan Pitkin New novel explores an aspect of Charlotte’s forgotten WWII history

MUSIC

8 Larga Vida al Rock ‘n’ Roll by Pat Moran Tony Arreaza brings Charlotte’s Latin music scene into the spotlight 11 Soundwave

FOOD & DRINK

14 A Co-Op for the Community by Nikolai Mather Historic West End Partners pursues new grocery model in their corridor 16 Lifeline: 10 Cool Things To Do in Two Weeks

LIFESTYLE

Thanks to our contributors: Grant Baldwin, Aerin Spruill, Ali Hogston, Loyd Visuals, Jorge Torres, Jeff Cravotta, Taylor Banner and Dan Savage.

Pg. 3 - March 9-22, 2022

18 Puzzles 20 Aerin It Out by Aerin Spruill 21 Horoscope 22 Savage Love

SPRING GUIDE 2022 Let’s get together

Listen, we can’t say whether the pandemic is over or not, but we can let you know about these outdoor events to hit up this spring as the weather warms up. Hang out and stay safe.

SPORTS

ARTS, CULTURE AND RETAIL March 20 & May 22: Girl Tribe Pop Up in the Garden

Shopping, cocktails and food featuring a lineup of women-owned businesses and brands. $5-$10; March 20 & May 22, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Alexander Homestead, 4717 Shamrock Drive; girltribepopup.com

CHARLOTTE FC’S INAUGURAL SEASON HAS ALREADY KICKED OFF. PHOTO BY TAYLOR BANNER/ CHARLOT T E FC

Charlotte FC

Bank of America Stadium, 800 S. Mint St., charlottefootballclub.com March 19 vs. New England Revolution March 26 vs. FC Cincinnati April 10 vs. Atlanta United FC May 7 vs. Inter Miami CF May 14 vs. CF Montreal May 22 vs. Vancouver Whitecaps FC June 11 vs. New York Red Bulls

Charlotte Knights

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Truist Field, 424 W. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., milb.com/charlotte-knights April 12-17 vs. Memphis Redbirds April 19-24 vs. Nashville Sounds April 26-May 1 vs. Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp May 3-8 vs. Gwinnett Stripers May 10-15 vs. Indianapolis Indians May 17-22 vs. Norfolk Tides May 24-29 vs. Durham Bulls May 31-June 5 vs. Memphis Redbirds June 7-12 vs. Louisville Bats June 14-19 vs. Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp

Other Baseball at Truist Field

Mar. 23: Davidson College vs. UNC Charlotte Apr. 5: University of South Carolina vs. University of North Carolina

Charlotte Motor Speedway

5555 Concord Pkwy. S, charlottemotorspeedway.com April 7-10: Charlotte AutoFair April 29-May 1: NHRA Four-Wide Nationals May 11-14: Colossal 100 May 27: NC Education Lottery 200 May 28: ALSCO Uniforms 300 May 29: Coca-Cola 600 June 13-14: Summer Shootout

April 30: Queen’s Cup Steeplechase

Dress like you’re going to a fine-dining establishment, drink like you’re going to a NASCAR race. $60 and up; April 30, 10 a.m.; Queen’s Cup Grounds, 6103 Waxhaw Hwy., Mineral Springs; queenscup.org

April 23: Joedance Rock the Cemetery

Live music from Southbound and screenings of four short films. $20 and up; April 23, 6 p.m.; Historic Elmwood Pinewood Cemetery, 700 W. 6th St.; joedance.org

April 30: Brightfire Music & Arts Festival

A kaleidoscopic celebration of life, hope and renewal through music, art, fire, dance and nature.

March 26-27: CRAFT Fest $20 and up; April 30, 4-10 p.m.; Historic Rural Hill, A blend of craft vendors, a viewers’ choice art show, demonstrations, classes and food trucks. 4431 Neck Road, Huntersville; Free; March 26, 11 a.m.-7 p.m.; March 27, noon- brightfire.eventbrite.com 4 p.m.; Sleepy Poet Antique Mall, 6424 South Blvd.; wecraftclt.org May 11-15: Reel Out Film Festival An annual LGBTQ film festival and program of Charlotte Pride.

April 1-17: Charlotte SHOUT! Prices vary; May 11-15, times vary; Camp North A celebration of creativity and innovation End Boileryard, 300 Camp Road; charlottepride.org through art, music, food and ideas, featuring large-scale installations throughout Uptown.

May 28: Water Lantern Festival Free; April 1-17; Center City Charlotte; charlotteshout.com A festival that includes DIY floating lanterns made to reflect messages of love, hope and happiness. $15 and up; May 28, 5:30-10 p.m.; Symphony April 2: Paws in the Park A pet-friendly party that promotes dog rescues Park, SouthPark Mall, 4400 Sharon Road; waterlanternfestival.com/charlotte.php and adoption.

Free; April 2, 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; Pineville Lake Park, 1000 Johnston Drive, Pineville; May 29: Nick Cannon Presents Wild ‘N Out charlotteblackdogs.com Live A live run of MTV’s improv/competition show with April 9-10: Loch Norman Highland comedy, variety and game show elements. $29.50 and up; May 29, 8 p.m.; PNC Music Games Experience Scottish history and culture through Pavilion, 707 Pavilion Blvd.; tinyurl.com/ WildNOutLive traditional dancing, food, bagpiping, athletics and reenactments. $8 and up; April 9-10, 8 a.m.-5 p.m.; Historic June 18: North Carolina Juneteenth Rural Hill, 4431 Neck Road, Huntersville; Festival lochnorman.com Themed “Educating, Empowering, Entertaining,” this festival features 40 Black-owned companies, crafts, performances, art and kids activities.

Free; June 18, 1-5 p.m.; Cabarrus Arena, 4751 NC49, Concord; tinyurl.com/NCJuneteenthFestival

FOOD, DRINK & WELLNESS

MUSIC

PHOTO CREDI T: PIXABAY

Walks, Runs & Races

March 20: Dash for Down Syndrome; tinyurl.com/DashForDown March 26: Craft Beer Half Marathon & 5-Milers; tinyurl.com/CraftBeerHalf March 26: Get your Rear in Gear 5K; tinyurl.com/RearInGearCLT March 26: USNWC: The Whole Enchilada MTB Race; whitewater.org April 2: Hemophilia Walk for Blood Disorders; tinyurl.com/HemoWalkCLT April 2: USNWC: New South Trail Marathon; whitewater.org April 9: Charlotte Racefest; charlotteracefest.com April 9: USNWC: Whitewater Triathalon; whitewater.org May 12: USNWC: River Jam Run Race Edition; whitewater.org May 20: USNWC: Time Lapse 24-Hour Relay Race; whitewater.org

March 27: CLT Donut Festival

May 6-7: NC Brewers & Music Festival

A weekend of local craft beer and live music. $8 and up; May 6, 5:30-10 p.m.; May 7, 12:3010 p.m.; Historic Rural Hill, 4431 Neck Road, Huntersville; ncbrewsmusic.com

May 7: Charlotte Seltzerland

Fairways lined with 100-plus varieties of hard seltzer to sample, plus photo ops, music and activities. $35 and up; May 7, 11 a.m.-5:30 p.m.; Paradise Valley Golf Club, 110 Barton Creek Drive; seltzerland.com/charlotte-2022

May 14: Cup in Hand Kickball Tournament Play kickball with a cup of liquid in your hand and try not to spill it. Beer and mimosas included, plus cornhole, beer pong and flip cup.

Free; May 14, 9 a.m.-6 p.m.; Veterans Park, 2136 Central Ave.; tinyurl.com/CupKickball

May 14: Wing a Ding Ding Festival

A showcase of donuts and other treats, plus coffee, smoothies and alcoholic beverages. $25 and up; March 27, 1-5 p.m.; Norfolk Hall, 2905 Griffith St.; tinyurl.com/CLTDonutFestival

Over 30 kinds of wings and fried chicken to sample from top chefs and food vendors. $15-$45; May 14, 11:30 a.m.-9 p.m.; Symphony Park, SouthPark Mall, 4400 Sharon Road; wingadingdingfest.com

April 9: Empanada Fest

May 21: Beer, Bourbon & BBQ Festival

Pastry turnovers, live music and dancing.

Free; April 9, Noon; Camp North End, 300 Camp Road; tinyurl.com/EmpanadaFest

A celebration of the outdoor lifestyle through competitions, exhibitions, demos and live music.

Free; April 29-May 1, times vary; U.S. National Whitewater Center, 5000 Whitewater Center Pkwy.; tuckfest.whitewater.org

PNC Music Pavilion

707 Pavilion Blvd., tinyurl.com/PNCMusicPavilion April 30: Jimmy Buffet May 8: AJR: The OK Orchestra May 12: Tim McGraw May 20: Dave Matthews Band May 24: Foo Fighters May 27: Halsey June 2: Morgan Wallen June 8: The Doobie Brothers June 13: Tears for Fears June 17: Kid Rock

Charlotte Metro Credit Union Amphitheater

1000 NC Music Factory Blvd., tinyurl.com/CMCUAmphitheatre April 2: KALEO April 20: Modest Mouse May 3: Khruangbin May 16: Leon Bridges May 22: Parkway Drive June 5: Barenaked Ladies June 8: Russ June 9: Ben Rector June 14: The War on Drugs June 17: Cody Johnson & Friends

Bank of America Stadium

800 S. Mint St., panthers.com/stadium April 23: Billy Joel April 30: Kenny Chesney

LEON BRIDGES

PHOTO BY CAL QUINN/ CC

Other Live Music April 23: Spring Fest at Sycamore Brewing Live music on two stages featuring seven artists, plus indoor and outdoor pouring stations, local vendors and food trucks.

Free; April 23, Noon-10 p.m.; Sycamore Brewing, 2161 Hawkins St.; tinyurl.com/SycamoreSpringFest

May 15: EpiPalooza III

A concert founded by Matt Perrone to raise money for the Epilepsy Foundation. $15-$25; May 15, 12:30-5 p.m.: Heist Brewery and Barrel Arts, 1030 Woodward Ave.; epipalooza.net

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April 29-May 1: Tuck Fest

An all-you-can-taste sampling of beer and bourbon, plus live entertainment. $42-$75; May 21, Noon-6 p.m.; Ballantyne’s Backyard, 11611 N. Community House Road; charlotte.beerandbourbon.com

FOO FIGHTERS

PHOTO BY MR. ROSSI/ CC

ARTS FEATURE ON THE HOMEFRON T

New novel explores an aspect of Charlotte’s forgotten WWII history

BY RYAN PITKIN

MEREDITH RITCHIE

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PHOTO BY ALI HOGSTON

In 2017, as all three of Meredith Ritchie’s triplets prepared to leave for college, she founder herself in need of a reinvention.

“I knew I needed something to transition and to not be a helicopter parent on three different campuses,” she said, laughing. “I knew I wanted to learn something new. I was fairly young. I always said I could create a Meredith 2.0 if I wanted to. And so then it was like, ‘I said that so much, now I’ve got to go do it.’”

Focusing on her love for writing and following the advice of local authors she reached out to, Ritchie connected with local nonprofit Charlotte Center for Literary Arts, also known as Charlotte Lit, where she took a year-long Authors Lab class that connected her with local writing coach and author Paula Martinac.

From that experience came Poster Girls, Ritchie’s

debut novel that follows the stories of two women living and working in Charlotte during World War II. The book delves into a largely forgotten part of Charlotte’s history: Ritchie’s two protagonists — Kora, a Black woman from Mississippi; and Maggie, a white woman from Boston — take jobs at the Shell Assembly Plant, a massive naval munitions assembly factory that employed one in 10 Charlotteans during the WWII. In 1942, it took less than six months for the U.S. Rubber Company and U.S. Navy to carve out over 2,300 acres near Steele Creek, erect 250 buildings, and employ up to 10,000 employees for Charlotte’s Shell Plant, with women and people of color filling the vast majority of positions to help fill the void left by men at war.

Upon the release of Poster Girls, I sat with Ritchie at Giddy Goat Coffee Roasters in the Plaza Midwood neighborhood to discuss how her own personal journey led her back in time to the 1940s and to this story, among other things.

Queen City Nerve: How did you decide on this time period? Why WWII? Meredith Ritchie: I was in a job transition in 2017, and it was actually before the whole Me Too thing hit, but I just asked myself a question: “How do women lead? What is the unique way that women lead?”

And I really couldn’t answer that question because the people I had reported to and dealt with that were women usually got where they were because they led like men. So I was like, “Well, how are we going to figure out when they’re always there? … Oh, wait, there was a time when they

weren’t there.” That was World War II. And I had just been to Camp North End, and I thought for sure, “Oh, that was probably something really cool in World War II.” It was not.

Was it not a bomb-making facility?

In the ’50s it was. Those were the Nike bombs.

They shipped out supplies in WWII, totally boring, not the right setting, but in Googling that, the Shell Plant came up.

I never knew about the Shell Plant. For twoand-a-half years it was this huge deal in Charlotte, and nobody knew about it. I was born here and I’ve lived here most of my life and I didn’t know about this. What a cool setting to do this and to tell about the forgotten history of Charlotte.

So that became my setting, and I did a bunch of research on it down at the Carolina Room at the [Charlotte Mecklenburg Library Main branch].

There was a guy in Steele Creek [named Walter Neely] that helped a lot, because that’s where [the Shell Plant] was.

Are the buildings still there?

The only building left, according to Walter Neely, who has written all this stuff on the history, is a Mexican restaurant on Westinghouse [Boulevard] called La Poblanita. So that is the only building that’s still standing. Ironically, it was the main cafeteria. It’s the one that burned down and they built it back.

How did you decide to explore the racial aspects of it, especially in that time period?

You said in a press release that it mirrored your own personal journey, so tell me about what that journey was.

When Black Lives Matter happened, I started to Google, and that was my primary research. I didn’t know that much about Brooklyn in Charlotte, so I learned and kind of fell in love with Brooklyn, which had 1,400 homes and 250 businesses. I had no idea that it was that big.

There are some great descriptions you write depicting everyday life in places like the Cherry and Brooklyn neighborhoods. I

couldn’t help but be reminded of the Levine Museum’s City Within a City exhibit about Brooklyn. Did you do any of your research through Levine?

Levine was a big help. [Levine staff historian] Dr. Willie Griffin was a big help. He gave me some great book choices to read; one is called The Queen City at War [by Stephen Drew]. It’s fabulous.

I didn’t know anything about Roosevelt’s executive order in 1941 — no. 8802, which he wrote — that said there’s no racial discrimination allowed in the defense industry. I love the movie Hidden Figures, and that was the same executive order that allowed those women to work in the defense industry.

And so basically The Queen City at War told me that there was no wage discrimination allowed, so they were all paid the same. A lot of the African Americans were coming from making $3 a week, and now making $25-$30 a week … This is a game changer.

I just always knew that Kora wanted to buy a house, and I also wanted the reader to understand on their own — especially the white readers — to empathize with Kora and know that this is what she wanted and also know the history afterwards [of urban renewal that led to the destruction of Brooklyn] and put two and two together, and to understand it wasn’t right.

It’s interesting you say that because there are certain themes that I noticed that run through the book, and one of them, for lack of a better term, could be described as white guilt. Sometimes it even takes a very literal form, as Maggie is the reason behind Kora getting fired early in the book and feels the need to remedy that situation. Was that something you were conscious of while you were writing?

Well, yeah, I think, and that evolved over the whole Black Lives Matter movement, too. I really dove in, I was reading books and really trying to educate myself, and not just for the book but to be a better community neighbor.

I learned the term white savior, and I definitely tried to stay away from that. It wasn’t Kora that

ARTS FEATURE

needed saving, it might have been Maggie, or they saved each other, or they helped each other.

That white guilt, I’ve since learned, is really exhausting for Black people, because as soon as they educate a white person, then the guilt comes in and they have to console them. And I’m like, if I had to do that over and over again, I would be exhausted, and I would just be done.

I did have sensitivity readers, by the way, so that was key.

What was that process like?

I ended up hiring a friend of a friend, her name was Marla Mahon, and she just nailed it. She just really took the time to peel through Kora and would just tell me “no” sometimes.

So you’ve already named a few to this point, but what were some points of Charlotte history specifically that stuck with you from your research?

The war changed the city, because it brought rural people into the cities who were attracted by the high wages from the defense industry. So Charlotte itself had just gone over 100,000 people in 1942. But then it really tipped the scales for North Carolina to be more urban versus rural, and we’re still fighting on urban versus rural for North Carolina. And so there was that aspect of it, because it kept people in the city.

I also read Anna Jean Mayhew’s book Tomorrow’s Bread about the ’60s and ’70s, tearing down Brooklyn. So that was really impactful in just looking at it differently. She used to live here and grew up in that time and she writes it very well.

I’ve always thought, Charlotte and Austin are similar in size and growth patterns or whatever, but Austin appreciates its weirdness and Charlotte appreciates its real estate development. And I think that’s quite sad.

Was it purposeful that you released the book as Black History Month turns into Women’s History Month, since this book touches on both?

No [laughs] but I thought, “That’s cool that they kind of did overlap with the book release.”

Anything else you think is important to mention?

Someone asked me last night at book club whether it was realistic that Kora and Maggie would be friends. And I think we kind of sometimes gloss over history and we think, “Okay, so all the Rosie the Riveters were white and they all wanted to work, and they all were happy when they did work,” and we write these broad-stroke narratives for people that were all different personalities and all different interests.

So I was like, “No, they absolutely could have been friends.”

At the end of the book, it is not the rosiest picture. Some of the people last night asked me about this, because we don’t know if Kora and Maggie are still friends, and then the husbands come home and I won’t spoil it but it’s not the best outcome. And people were like, “Why did you write it so sad?” I’m like, “That’s reality.” There are some really cutesy parts of the book, but I didn’t want it to all be like that. I wanted the reader to think and project those people into the civil rights movements in the ’60s and the women’s movements in the ’70s, and based on their positive experiences at the plant and [how that ended].

It’s an interesting thing to explore, because obviously racism and sexism were still not only prevalent but rampant, but out of necessity for having other things to worry about, these people were suddenly together more often and that would surely bleed into social life, because when you are forced to be with someone whom you might not normally be around socially, then you’re going to start to see them as humans and neighbors and not the “other.”

Yeah, it’s a labor shortage – plain and simple, an economic labor shortage. [Poster Girls] lifted the curtain on this really brief two-and-a-half-year period of equitable history in Charlotte.

Like, they got paid the same, they rode the same buses together, they got along well, and then they were literally fired the day the Japanese surrendered and the tree snapped back, and they were all told to go home and be exactly as it was.

But it worked for that two-and-a-half years.

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Pg. 7 - March 9-22, 2022

You speak specifically about skin color in that Kora is light-skinned enough to have “passed” as white on the bus when she was a kid. What led you to include that?

Well, you realize that race is a social construct, like it’s a set of rules based on something that can change; it’s just a genetic feature. There’s that Dr. Seuss story, The Sneeches, where they’re like “Oh, now it’s the stars, now it’s not the stars,” and it’s just that we tell each other something until it becomes reality.

Like the one-drop rule you mean?

Yes, and it’s just dumb. And I think Kora, she’s like, “This is stupid.

Why do these rules apply to me when I’m half this and half that?”

And that just makes all the rules fall apart and it makes the people that are desperate to keep those rules in place seem desperate, and she saw them that way.

One of the best ways I’ve heard it, right at the start of Black Lives Matter, is Toni Morrison’s interview with Charlie Rose. It’s one of the best interviews because she says, “This is not our problem. This is yours.”

Not that you should be ashamed of yourself, she didn’t say it like that, she just said, “You [white people] need to fix it.”

MUSIC FEATURE LARGA VIDA AL ROCK ‘N’ ROLL

Tony Arreaza brings Charlotte’s Latin music scene into the spotlight

BY PAT MORAN

PHOTO BY JORGE TORRES

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TONY ARREAZA HAS BEEN PART OF THE LATIN MUSIC SCENE IN CHARLOTTE SINCE BEFORE THERE WAS ONE.

Like the first floral-scented breeze of spring, impassioned vocals sail over percolating percussion and confident horns in UltimaNota’s new single “Mi Sueño.”

Funky, chopping guitar and rippling timbales coalesce around an ebullient chorus, but while the song title translates to “My Hope,” all is not sweetness and light. The Spanish-language lyrics detail the travails of immigrants, people hoping to contribute to their new homes but consigned to the shadows by a dysfunctional system. Despite the ordeal encoded in the knotty verses, this is music true to the tune’s title.

The song conveys hope that good people will prevail. That feeling of hope carries over to a chorus that suggests a thaw, our city slowly blossoming

after the harsh winter of pandemic and quarantine.

“Mi Sueño” is the advance single off UltimaNota’s album Soñando, produced and recorded by guitarist Tony Arreaza over the past two years in his home studio. The album, the long-running Latin fusion band’s debut, features 12 original songs that spotlight local Latinx guest artists.

Many of those artists will participate in a concert on March 12 at Midwood International Center in Plaza Midwood that celebrates the album’s release. The music represents yet another thread of hope, Arreaza’s fervent wish that Soñando, which means “dreaming,” will convince non-Latinx listeners that Latin music is Charlotte’s music, and that the musicians who create it are part

of — and not separate from — the city’s greater creative community.

“I want [people] to discover the music,” Arreaza says. “At the same time, I want to make sure they know that this is music made in Charlotte by artists that live here.”

Prior to the concert on March 12, the evening will kick off with the premiere of the video for “Mi Sueño,” which depicts the stories of four Latinx immigrants navigating societal obstacles as they advocate for access to education, equal justice and immigration reform. A screening of The Final Note, a documentary about the creation of Soñando, follows. Then UltimaNota and musical guests will play the album in its entirety.

In addition to playing guitar and penning songs

for UltimaNota, Arreaza has supported and fostered a flourishing Latin music community in Charlotte for nearly 30 years, organizing concerts and festivals regionally and locally through his platform Carlotan Talents, which he launched in 2007.

The release of Soñando plays like a capstone to Arreaza’s career, a lifelong passion project to promote Latin music as American music. It’s also an unlikely avocation for the 48-year-old husband and father of two sons. Originally, all Arreaza wanted to do was play American rock ‘n’ roll.

Rock ‘n’ roll en ingles

Growing up the youngest of four siblings in Venezuela, Arreaza was 7 when he was introduced to the lure of abundantly stocked record stores

MUSIC FEATURE

Carlotan Rocks – and entertains

PHOTO BY JEFF CRAVOT TA

ULTIMANOTA

The Queen City was originally only meant to be a temporary stop-over.

“I was going to go to Charlotte for a few months, and then I was going to go onto a bigger, cooler and more musical city,” Arreaza says.

At the time, his unsteady grasp of English brought him down to Earth.

“I thought that I knew English, but it wasn’t the case,” he remembers. “I completely froze when people were talking to me in English.”

Arreaza started attending double shifts of classes at CPCC while living with his sister. In his free time, he perused the local alt-weekly Creative Loafing, circling an ad that called for guitarists who knew how to play Clapton and Hendrix. “I thought, ‘This is me!’” Arreaza says. But when he called the number, he could hear the rejection in the posters’ voices as soon as they heard his Venezuelan accent.

Arreaza was ready to chuck it in and head back to Venezuela, where he had played clubs three times a week. Here in the U.S., the birthplace of rock ‘n’ roll, he couldn’t find anyone to play with.

While bartending, he decided to play one last card.

A patron gave Arreaza an address, scrawled on a cocktail napkin, to a jam session.

As soon as his shift was up, Arreaza grabbed his guitar and drove out to a house in Albemarle. About 60 people were in the house, and he didn’t know any of them. Mercifully, he was eventually asked if he wanted to play to a Stone Temple Pilots song.

Arreaza plugged in, struck a chord, and didn’t stop

playing until the end of the night.

“Thank God I made it to that jam session,” Arreaza says.

For the next three years, Arreaza was the only Latino member in the band Eleventh Hour, playing rock in English at a now-shuttered Central Avenue club called Tabloids Live. Arreaza took to pinning a Venezuelan flag on his amp. One night, a patron named Fred Figueroa saw the flag and introduced himself as a fellow Venezuelan. The two men exchanged numbers, and a few weeks later they got together in Arreaza’s apartment with acoustic guitars. Without planning to, they started playing Spanish-language songs.

“It was a magical moment,” Arreaza says. “It felt so natural. I started thinking, no one is doing this here in the South. This is what I need to be doing.”

Figueroa would later become the lead singer for UltimaNota, but he and Arreaza had a long road ahead before that would happen.

Back then, before Charlotte’s influx of Latinx immigrants, there were few if any Hispanic-owned shops, and only a few Mexican restaurants. There was no Latino live music at all, Arreaza says. He and Figueroa began playing as a duo, going by Tony and Fred, for American audiences. It was an uphill struggle, playing for English-speaking crowds, Arreaza recalls.

“Imagine playing in front of a lot of people who don’t know what you’re singing,” he says.

Pg. 9 - March 9-22, 2022

and MTV that you could watch every day for free (back when the channel played music). Tony and his family were visiting his older brother and sister, both of whom were attending Central Piedmont Community College on scholarships, when he first got a taste of English-language rock ‘n’ roll. From there on out, he became an unrepentant rocker.

Back home in Venezuela, he grew his hair long and kept a notebook in which he wrote the names of each musician in his favorite bands along with what instrument they played. By the time he was in high school, Arreaza prevailed upon his parents to get him a guitar. By his own admission, he wasn’t very good.

“I was more a music fan than a musician,” Arreaza says. At age 16, he was diagnosed with diabetes. As he adapted to his condition, Arreaza was often confined to his bedroom at home with time on his hands. He began playing his guitar for hours on end.

By the time Arreaza brought his diabetes under control — he takes insulin to this day — he was accomplished at his instrument. Summer holiday trips to visit his siblings in Charlotte stoked Arreaza’s desire to move to America. Back in Venezuela, he started playing music every weekend in clubs.

He exchanged every bit of money he could earn into American dollars, preparing for his big move.

To comply with his parents’ wishes, he earned a degree as a technical mechanical engineer. With that in hand, at age 19, Arreaza boarded a plane to Charlotte.

Within a few months, Arreaza had joined the band Los de Paula. The group played gigs at house parties and Mexican restaurants.

“We were not playing at the regular American venues because we were not accepted yet,’ Arreaza says. That situation shifted with Arreaza’s next band, a group of Charlotte-based Ecuadorians and Venezuelans named La Rúa.

La Rúa’s brand of tuneful and ebullient rock en Español earned the combo followers from Charlotte to Asheville to Atlanta. The band toured and released two albums: Una Noche de Abril and Muse Sessions.

“With La Rúa, we actually opened the door, and we got into the American market,” Arreaza says.

At first, bookings were meager, with the band getting assigned off nights at clubs, but after proving they could pull an audience, La Rúa was packing venues on Saturdays.

“That’s when I got my call to be an event organizer,” Arreaza says. “We couldn’t find any booking agents that wanted to represent us.”

After being told that the successful band was difficult to sell and more difficult to book, Arreaza and two other members of La Rúa decided to do it themselves. In early 2000 they launched Carlotan Rock, a digital platform to represent all the local acts that had sprung up in La Rúa’s wake.

The timing couldn’t have been better. La Rúa’s success opened a floodgate for local and regional rock-en-Español bands. One group, the durable Bakalao Stars, have counted both ska and reggae among their musical arsenal since the band’s inception in 2003.

“In the beginning, we lost a lot of money because we didn’t really know how things work,” Arreaza says. “That’s how it goes. You start doing it, and you learn with hard-earned experience.”

Arreaza garnered solo experience when La Rúa broke up in 2009. His partners in Carlotan Rock moved away from Charlotte, and he rebranded Carlotan Rock as Carlotan Talents, creating platforms for not only rock-en-Español groups, but for the bachata, salsa and Brazilian performers that were also hitting the market.

At the time, Arreaza was also holding down a full-time gig as cultural events director with Charlotte’s Latin American Coalition, organizing events like the annual Latin American Festival and the Brazilian Carnival-themed A Night in Rio. Arreaza had gotten married to his wife, Ailen, in 2007. A year later, the couple learned they were expecting their first child.

“I completely freaked out because I was worried

MUSIC FEATURE that I wasn’t going to have enough money to raise a child,” Arreaza says. He called his old musician friend Fred Figueroa and another colleague named Joswar Acosta and pitched them on forming a moneymaking group that integrated traditional Latin tropical music with rock.

“I didn’t want to play rock, and I didn’t want to play traditional music,” Arreaza says. “I wanted to combine both worlds.”

UltimaNota was conceived as a part-time group that would make money by playing music people would recognize. For instance, a tune by The Police but with a cumbia, salsa or bachata spin.

The band boasts a mix of Latin influences because the members come from different parts of Latin America, Arreaza says.

By 2017, Arreaza had too much on his plate.

With a roster of international and national bands, putting together massive 20,000-plus-person events, working with high-profile clients and getting more calls from other organizations and nonprofits to help them organize their festivals and concerts, something had to give. Arreaza decided to leave his position at Latin American Coalition and go to work full-time for himself.

“It was scary, but [it] was the best professional decision I made in my life,” Arreaza says. He built his home studio, creating a space to work and rehearse.

Between his business, family and band, Arreaza grew so busy that he never had time to grab his guitar, sit on his porch and just play music for himself.

Pg. 10 - March 9-22, 2022

‘Soñando’

When the pandemic hit in 2020, Arreaza’s hectic schedule ground to a halt. In some ways, it was a blessing in disguise. Up to that point, Arreaza had worked every facet of the music industry except the recording process. Without taking any tutorials, he taught himself how to use the gear in his studio.

“It was very organic,” Arreaza says.

Songs and ideas for songs began to pour out of him. Arreaza combined a dramatic guitar line reminiscent of Carlos Santana’s playing and coupled it with swaying tropical rhythms. It became “Sabes Lo Que Quiero,” (You Know What I Want), which is the first song on Soñando.

Like many Americans, when news of George Floyd’s murder by police officer Derek Chauvin broke, Tony and Ailen felt heartbroken and powerless. Tony started playing a four-chords figure over and over.

He felt it had a Buena Vista Social Club feeling. Ailen,

who’s Afro-Cuban, wrote a heartfelt poem expressing solidarity with Black Americans at a dark moment in the nation’s history.

Arreaza sent the music and words to Figueroa who came up with a melody. The resulting composition, “Esperanza,” is the second song on Soñando to feature Bakalao Stars (the long-running band also contributes to the sassy new-wave groove that propels the tune “Tus Caderas”).

“I started to record ‘Esperanza,’ and that’s when I got the idea of collaborating with other musicians from different bands,” Arreaza says. He approached Helder Serralde from Charlotte salsa band Orquesta Mayor to add smooth harmonic horns to “Esperanza.”

The song was soon accompanied by a heartfelt sliceof-life video starring actress (and Ailen’s cousin) Danaya Esperanza. When Esperanza heard another track Arreaza was working on, she successfully lobbied to sing on the tune. It is her warm and sensuous vocal that entwines with Brazilian guitarist/singer Reinaldo Brahn’s bossa nova guitars on “Espumas.” Brahn also contributed guitar to the only English language song on the album, “Look Around.”

As the project gathered steam, Arreaza received a $10,000 grant — Arts & Science Council’s Creative Renewal Fellowship award — to complete the album. Another grant provided funds to produce the documentary about the album’s creation, The Final Note. Arreaza also kicked in his own money to buy better gear and bring the project to fruition.

In the meantime, other outside artists, along with UltimaNota members, came to Arreaza’s studio to painstakingly lay down their parts one by one for the album. Ana Lucia Divins and Carlos Crespo of acoustic duo Café Amaretto brought an authentic bolero feel to the funky sashaying “Volver.” Dunny Mendez, who stepped in on lead vocals when Figueroa had to back away from UltimaNota for a few years, weaves his emotive voice with delicate celestial music box keyboards on “Sonando Despierto.”

Educator and songwriter Dalia Razo sings on the winding watch-spring Tropicalia track “Alguna Vez,” and she also penned lyrics for two other songs, “Mundo Viejo” and “Nada que Perder.” As the 12 songs took shape, UltimaNota, a band formed to perform songs people know, became something else: a vehicle for original tunes.

“We went in to play our music now,” Arreaza says.

“It’s a totally different band. It’s like we’re showcasing how Latin music sounds. There is a funk song, a reggae song, a salsa song, and that’s what Latin music is all about. It’s not just one established music.”

Arreaza hopes that Soñando can open audience’s ears to Latin music’s diversity. He also hopes

that listeners — and large-scale event organizers — will realize that Latin music can be enjoyed year round, not just on Cinco de Mayo or during Hispanic Heritage Month.

“They know there’s a local Latino scene.

But it’s like we’re invisible,” Arreaza says.

With this album, Arreaza hopes to change that misconception.

“I want to be able to have Latino music in mainstream festivals,” he says. “I don’t believe that Latino music should only be played in Latino festivals. When you go to a park, you see Latinos, African Americans, Caucasians, right? You see everybody, and I feel like that’s how it should be with music.”

PMORAN @QCNERVE.COM

MARCH 2022 FRI, MARCH 11

Próxima Parada with Hotel Fiction

S A T, M A R C H 1 2

Comedian Michael Palascak S A T, m a r c h 1 2

THE KIND THIEVES

THU, MARCH 17

The Way Down Wanderers FRI, march 18

Jim White

S A T, M A R C H 1 9

Tony Lucca

SUN, MARCH 13

with Meaghan Farrell

with Matthew Fowler

TUE, march 2

Sam Weber Get Free Tour TUE, march 15

22 & good 4 u (21+)

and Tony Furtado

WED, MARCH 23

Nefesh Mountain S A T, M A R C H 1 6

Trapper Schoepp with Sam Foster

eveningmuse.com

Tin Roof Echo, Douglass Thompson, Paul Lover

3 3 2 7 n d a v i d s o n s t, c h a r l o t t e n c

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 9

SATURDAY, MARCH 19

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Theory of a Deadman (The Fillmore) Reflection of Flesh w/ Bound by Years, Annabel Lee (The Milestone) Dipstick w/ Telepathetics, True Lilith (Snug Harbor)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B/BLUES

Christone ‘Kingfish’ Ingram w/ Rissi Palmer, Camille Parker, Maggie Rose and Brittney Spencer (Knight Theater)

OPEN MIC

Tosco Music Open Mic (Evening Muse)

THURSDAY, MARCH 10 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Sasami w/ Zulu (Snug Harbor)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Dylan Scott (The Fillmore) Reverend Horton Heat w/ Hillbilly Casino (Neighborhood Theatre)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

Legends Night w/ Thomas Robinson (Middle C Jazz)

LATIN/WORLD

Celtic Woman: Postcards from Ireland (Ovens Auditorium)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night w/ Chase & Aleeia “Sug” Bolton Brown (Tommy’s Pub)

FRIDAY, MARCH 11 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Downhaul w/ Late Bloomer, Faye, Group Chat (The Milestone)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B/BLUES

Queens of the City (Knight Theater) Próxima Parada w/ Hotel Fiction (Evening Muse)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Rhythm Station (Crown Station) Conan Gray (The Fillmore) The Queen’s Jam Session w/ Cyanca, Modern Moxie, Autumn Rainwater, The Foxies, Moa, Reeve Coobs (Neigborhood Theatre) Dissonance/Resonance feat. Adam Cope, Laura Gardea, dsrtdbch, DJ Shrimp (Petra’s) PROLIX (SERJ) The Wormholes w/ Cosmic Collective, Knowne Ghost (Snug Harbor) An Evening of Darkwave w/ Leisure McCorkle (Tommy’s Pub)

SATURDAY, MARCH 12 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B/BLUES

Eric Bellinger w/ Sammie (The Underground)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

Charlotte Symphony Presents Vaughn Williams Dona Nobis Pacem (Belk Theater)

Mindi Abair (Middle C Jazz) Dashill Smith: The Jazz of A Tribe Called Quest (Neighborhood Theatre)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ Subdocta (SERJ)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC Matt Bush (Primal Brewery)

LATIN/WORLD

Live Irish Music feat. Christopher PK Chaney (Tommy’s Pub)

SUNDAY, MARCH 13 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Red Rocking Chair (Comet Grill) Sam Weber w/ Matthew Fowler (Evening Muse) Leprous (The Underground)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B/BLUES Patti LaBelle (Belk Theater) Jazmine Sullivan (The Fillmore) Dee-1 (Neighborhood Theatre)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Sunday Funday All-Day House Party (Crown Station)

MONDAY, MARCH 14 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Slutbomb w/ Dead Senate, Spite House (The Milestone) Patois Counselors w/ Family Vision, Blood (Snug Harbor)

OPEN MIC

Find Your Muse Open Mic w/ Willi Carlisle (Evening Muse)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

The Bill Hanna Legazy Jazz Session (Petra’s)

TUESDAY, MARCH 15 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Scary Kids Scaring kids w/ D.R.U.G.S. (The Underground)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Nefesh Mountain w/ Tony Furtado (Evening Muse)

LATIN/WORLD

Jesse & Joy (The Fillmore)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ Jaguardini w/ Cold Choir, Solemn Shapes (The Milestone)

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 16 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Trapper Schoepp w/ Sam Foster (Evening Muse) Wiltwither w/ Reflect//Refine, Regions, Dull Mourning (The Milestone) Dipstick w/ Pheny, Probably Will (Snug Harbor)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B/BLUES

Jamie McLean Band w/ Emanuel Wynter (Neighborhood Theatre) Tyler, The Creator (Bojangles Coliseum)

THURSDAY, MARCH 17 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Sidestep Dog w/ The Simplicity, Homemade Haircuts, Halloween Costume Contest (The Milestone)

Blackwater Drowning w/ Guillotine A.D., Tombstone, Violent by Nature (The Milestone) Preppen Barium w/ Atrial, Rites to Sedition, Cleansing of the Temple (Skylark Social Club) Prowess w/ The Phantom Friends, Bums Lie (Snug Harbor) Squirt Vile w/ Cheesus Crust, Pyre (Tommy’s Pub) Jeremy’s Ten (Pearl Jam tribute) (Amos’ Southend)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B/BLUES

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B/BLUES

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Maxwell (Spectrum Center)

The Way Down Wanderers (Evening Muse)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL

Kenny Mann w/ Liquid Pleasure (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ Crash Test Dummies w/ Mo Kenney (Booth Playhouse) Chelsea Cutler (The Fillmore)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC Carolina Songwriters Showcase feat. David Childers, Doug Thompson, Shelby Stover, PJ Brunson (Petra’s)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night w/ Chase & Aleeia “Sug” Bolton Brown (Tommy’s Pub)

FRIDAY, MARCH 18 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

B Sharp w/ New Local (Amos’ Southend) Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill) Hey RICHARD (EastSide Local) Late Night Special w/ Side Hustle (Evening Muse) Oliver Tree w/ Cowboy Tears, 347aidan, Sueco (The Fillmore) The Frizzle Fries w/ Yes Chef!, The Emotron, Percolator (The Milestone) The Lowdown Dirty w/ Condado, Nova Omega, The Lonesome Bones (Skylark Social Club) Eric Slick w/ Jenny Besetzt, Babe Club (Snug Harbor)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B/BLUES

Baby Keem (The Underground) Leone w/ Celeste Moonchild, 2 Slices (Petra’s)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Chris Lane w/ Ernest (Coyote Joe’s) Jim White (Evening Muse) The Arcadian Wild w/ Dane Page (Neighborhood Theatre) Langhorne Slim (Visulite Theatre)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Taylor Swift Night: The Taylor Party (The Underground) sumthin sumthin w/ VCTRE (SERJ) Reflexions Goth Dance Party w/ DJ Velvetine & DJ Marvin Lynch (Tommy’s Pub)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

‘Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back’ in Concert (Belk Theater) Mandyl Evans (Middle C Jazz)

Peabo Bryson (Knight Theater)

Featherpocket w/ Clementine Was Right, Hiram (Petra’s)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Jared Tugwell w/ Wagon Load a Trouble (Primal Brewery)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC

AfroPop! Charlotte, Vol. 51: Hello Spring! 2022 (Crown Station) Nurko (SERJ) Boot Camp feat. DJ J Warren (Visulite Theatre)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

‘Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back’ in Concert (Belk Theater) Justin Ray Big Band (Middle C Jazz)

SUNDAY, MARCH 20 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Mayhem (The Underground) Dead Senate, No Anger Control, Pet Bug, Self Made Monsters (Skylark Social Club)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

The Smokin Js (Comet Grill)

JAZZ/CLASSICAL/ INSTRUMENTAL Marqueal Jordan (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Ballantyne School of Music: Spring Jam 2022 (Amos’Southend) Hazy Sunday (Petra’s)

MONDAY, MARCH 21 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Slash w/ Myles Kennedy & the Conspirators (The Fillmore) Home for the Day w/ Seneca Burns, My Blue Hope, The Ruff’Tons (The Milestone)

TUESDAY, MARCH 22 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

311 (The Fillmore) Shovels & Rope (Visulite Theatre)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ Grandson (The Underground)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Penny & Sparrow w/ Lera Lynn (Neighborhood Theatre)

VISIT QCNERVE.COM FOR THE FULL SOUNDWAVE LISTING.

Pg. 11 - March 9-22, 2022

The Kind Thieves (Evening Muse) Baroness (The Milestone) The New Creatures w/ Hot Garbage, GIFT (Snug Harbor)

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

SOUTH BY SOUTH END SPRING MUSIC FESTIVAL SAT 09 APRIL, 2-10PM 227 SOUTHSIDE DR, CHARLOTTE

Olde Mecklenburg Brewery

Pg. 12 QCNERVE.COM - March 9-22, 2022

TAKE ADVANTAGE OF PATIO SEASON AT THESE QUEEN CITY BUSINESSES

Back Side of the Park Road Shopping Center

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE A CO - OP FOR THE COMMUNI T Y

Historic West End Partners pursues new grocery model in their corridor

BY NIKOLAI MATHER

WEAVER STREET MARKET IN RALEIGH.

Pg. 14 -March 9-22, 2022

PHOTO COURTESY OF LOYD VISUALS

Tainted meat, expired produce and blight; that’s how J’Tanya Adams describes some of the grocery stores she’s seen in the part of west Charlotte she calls home. Adams, founder of Historic West End Partners (HWEP) neighborhood organization, is fighting to create food security in the Historic West End, which has struggled with food desertification for as long as she can remember.

Established in 2010, HWEP consists of business owners, community members and faith leaders seeking to preserve and revitalize the historically Black corridor.

J’Tanya Adams, who serves as executive director at HWEP, has long been an advocate in the fight against gentrification and blight in west Charlotte.

For the past few years, she has brought that fight to the grocery store.

HWEP hopes to soon bring a cooperative grocery store to West End that will be based on a Weaver Street Market model that’s been implemented elsewhere in the state.

Adams hopes to address food insecurity in west Charlotte through community-owned means, so I recently talked to her and others familiar with the co-op model about what that process will look like

and how it will help residents of the West End. Food insecurity has been an issue in the West End for decades. As a child growing up in the Steele Creek area, Adams would visit her aunts in the West End and remembers all the stores that used to stand on the corridor. When she moved there as an adult in 2007, however, she saw that the stores had begun to disappear.

“The stores were [in the West End] before [white] flight. The stores went away after [white] flight, especially as the areas became more occupied

by Black people … The stores follow the flight. The stores follow the gentrification,” she said.

Adams and other community advocates began inviting various grocery stores to set up shop within the corridor.

“We tried to do it the conventional way. So that was talking with commercial chains, trying to get them to come there, and being told, ‘You don’t meet the demographics,’” she said. “You just never meet the demographics. Even today, with houses in the neighborhood selling for $1 million, we still don’t meet the demographics.”

As she continued to research supermarkets and food deserts, Adams studied cooperative

J’TANYA ADAMS (FOREGROUND) AND OTHER HISTORIC WEST END RESIDENTS TOUR CO-OPS IN THE TRIANGLE. PHOTO COURTESY OF LOYD VISUALS

grocery stores, which use a community-minded model for buying and selling food.

At these co-ops, employees and customers alike can buy shares of the company and, through those shares, democratically own and run the company. Often, they help take care of the store, help select what goes on its shelves, and help the store make charitable impacts on its community.

Adams thought the community-centered approach was a welcome change from the years of demands about demographics, so she elected to pursue it. She traveled around the country to see how various co-op grocery stores worked in their communities.

Throughout the course of this research, Adams realized that the solution had been sitting in her backyard all along: Weaver Street Market, a co-op based in the Triangle area. Founded in Carrboro in 1988, the grocery store has expanded to several other North Carolina cities while retaining its cooperative model.

“We are 100% intent to move forward with the Weaver Street model. It’s indisputably the best on the East Coast, and possibly the West,” Adams said.

Weaver Street’s roots

The Weaver Street model may seem like an odd choice for the West End to those familiar with the Triangle. The co-op tends to set up shop in and around more affluent neighborhoods in the area, including Southern Village in Chapel Hill and the Depot Historic District in Raleigh. And while much of the produce inventory hovers around market price, some inventory can get pretty expensive.

So what could implementing a model like this mean for the West End? According to Kristen Jeffers, North Carolina native and founder of The Black Urbanist, the answer is rooted in the history of food and white flight.

Supermarkets emerged at the turn of the century as a centralized, modern method of buying and selling food. Part of the reason demand rose for large grocery stores over smaller, independent food sellers was to support a growing suburban population – most of which were middle-class to upper-middle-class white people.

“These supermarkets, when they were originally conceived, were to sell this idea [of modernity] to a certain demographic, which at the time tended to be suburbanizing white Americans,” Jeffers said.

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

EMPLOYEES AT WEAVER STREET MARKET HAVE SHARES IN THE COMPANY, AS WELL. PHOTO COURTESY OF LOYD VISUALS

In recent years, Weaver Street has tried to shed its affluent image in favor of something more inclusive.

In 2020, four Weaver Street employees formed the E.Q.U.I.T.Y. Alliance, a group attempting to address racism and diversity in the co-op’s wholesalers, products and employees. One project, the Game Changers program, is a move to bring in more products made by non-white sellers, which in 2020 made up less than 4% of the co-op’s total sales.

Weaver Street also brought in a diversity, equity and inclusion consultant in July 2020 and strengthened partnerships with Black-led farming organizations like the Black Farmers Market and First Fruits Farm.

Adjusting a historically white model to a historically Black neighborhood is a challenge.

Jeffers believes that with careful consideration of the community’s needs, HWEP can meet it.

“I would challenge [Weaver Street], especially knowing that they want to partner with a historically Black community that is hoping to practice economic equity for Black people, that they allow this Black community to have a little bit more say in everything – from what people get paid to what they put on the shelves.”

It’s important to note that there is not yet any formal agreement between the official Weaver Street Market and HWEP, and the latter may simply aim to borrow ideas from the former.

Options and choices

Giving the West End a say is exactly what Gene Flavors is trying to do. Flavors, who is the director of this project, moved to west Charlotte five years ago to live in the neighborhood where his wife grew up.

to improve so people can get there,” he said. “If it’s something they can’t get to, then providing it doesn’t mean a whole lot.”

I asked Adams about how she planned to ensure a grocery store like this would remain affordable.

“I have to say: When we talk about affordability, we talk about people that have income challenges.

Even in that situation we all treat ourselves at one time or another with something, and I assure you that electronics and grooming experiences cost more than $75,” she said. “So again, we’re back to life choices. You can save money and buy processed food at Walmart and make sure that you have additional money for electronics or clothing or grooming products, or you can decide that you wanna eat healthy and live longer. We all are making decisions.

I am going to hold us all accountable for the choices we all make.”

As the HWEP sees it, Weaver Street Market is the community’s best option, one that organizers believe has the potential to reshape and restabilize the community. But in order for that to happen, it must serve the community as a whole.

NMATHER@QCNERVE.COM

Pg. 15 - March 9-22, 2022

The co-op grocery store model came about partly as a resistance to that trend. Farmers, food sellers and customers alike grew dissatisfied with the control that big supermarkets exercised over their livelihoods and choices. Throughout the latter half of the 20th century, several co-op grocery stores sprouted up throughout North Carolina, including Greensboro’s Deep Roots in 1976 and Asheville’s French Broad Food in 1975.

“As members, they maintained the building where their groceries were, they negotiated with wholesalers so that they could provide more funds for the community. In many of the original co-ops, people that shopped there also worked there,” Jeffers said. “Of course, this is different now.”

Weaver Street’s co-op membership, which comes with a one-time payment of $75, still ensures the right to vote in board elections and run for board seats. But aside from some free swag and a owners-only weekly deal (at the time of writing, it’s 20% off soup!), the current benefits are a far cry from how it once was.

“Now there has become a sort of industrial complex around some of these entities because now they have purchasing power,” Jeffers explained.

“They have multiple locations. The kind of folks who are able to sustain this still have a degree of privilege and wealth.”

But Jeffers doesn’t think that necessarily discounts HWEP’s efforts.

“What’s great is that West End Partners is attempting to have community conversations about what this means. What I do hope West End Partners does is put a class and ability lens on this and see it’s not enough to just bring in this entity that’s known for co-ops of mostly white members in mostly white neighborhoods.”

“We got involved in the community … but there were some things that we felt like the community needed,” he said. “The number one thing anyone will say to you is, ‘Man, we don’t have a grocery store.’”

Adams and Flavors are trying to gauge how to make the Weaver Street model work for the west side. Their work starts with community conversations — Zoom meetings, group sessions, and so on — to get feedback and answer questions about this project’s potential.

Currently, HWEP is planning a series of outreach efforts to see what community members would like out of this process. The research will not only impact where the store will be located but what the prices and inventory might look like.

Affordability is a crucial part of the project.

Weaver Street accepts SNAP and EBT – it’s even possible to purchase a membership using food stamps. But there still remain major barriers to accessibility.

Flavors points out that transportation may play a role in that.

“Affordability is important, but so is the ability to get [to the co-op.] The transportation, the trolley, the buses, walkability — we want all that

ONGOING MARCH 3/9-3/10 THE ART OF BANKSY: WITHOUT LIMITS

THE ART OF ABNKSY: WITHOUT LIMITS Photo by Grant Baldwin

Anonymous artist, activist and anti-capitalist Banksy creates iconic work in public spaces, and he opposes “The Art of Banksy” and other gallery exhibits like it. At the same time, Banksy admits that he’s “not the best person to complain about people putting up pictures without permission.” So, should you grab what could be a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see groundbreaking work, when the artist would rather you didn’t? Perhaps the creator of “Flower Thrower,” Banksy’s mural depicting a Palestinian hurling a bouquet of flowers like a hand grenade, would appreciate the irony.

More: $27.20; ongoing, times vary; Avid Xchange/ Silver Hammer Studios, 817 Hamilton St.; artofbanksy.com/charlotte

MIKE BIRBIGLIA

It’s a cliché to compare comedy to rock ‘n’ roll, but in Mike Birbiglia’s case it’s true — just replace “rock ‘n’ roll” with juggling. Whether he’s recounting how he was almost forced to pay damages to a motorist who nearly killed him or comparing the urge to have kids with getting infected by a toxic zombie’s bite, Birbiglia keeps conceptual balls in the air before casually paying off all his disparate story stands in one big satisfying joke. Those moments when he lets his surrealist everyman mask slip to release a kraken’s sting of outrage are comic gold.

More: $49 and up; March 9-10, 7 p.m., 9:30 p.m.; Booth Playhouse, 130 N Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org

MIKE BIRBIGLIA Promotional photo

Ongoing

THUR 3/10

3/9-3/10

THUR 3/10

MARCH 3/11-3/26

SAT3/12

Pg. 16 - March 9-22, 2022

ANDREW LEVENTIS: CONTEMPORARY SASAMI, ZULU ‘THE CHILDREN’ BARONESS On the cover of her latest album Squeeze, Sasami It’s the end of the world as we know it, and no one Early in its career, Savannah DIY metal band Baroness VANITIES OPENING CELEBRATION

Charlotte artist and UNC Charlotte associate professor of painting Andrew Leventis discusses his installation for Constellation CLT, a series designed to connect museum visitors to artists in the community through exhibits that rotate three times per year.

With his Refrigerator series, Leventis explores the value of objects through still-life oils, in this case filtered through the global pandemic, specifically food hoarding and shortages. “The paintings reflect on the mass panic induced by the COVID-19 virus, and how the idea of ‘stocking up’ became a crucial and even primal response,” Leventis says.

More: Free; March 10, 5:30 p.m.; Mint Museum Uptown, 500 S. Tryon St.; mintmuseum.org

Ashworth is depicted as the Japanese folk spirit called Nure-onna, a vampiric deity with the head of a woman and the body of a snake. Astride jackhammer drumming and blown out guitars, Ashworth sings in warm swarming hive harmonies on single “Make it Right,” which boasts a video depicting a severe-looking Ashworth trailing her own doppelganger. In the mechanistic “Say It,” Ashworth’s seething voice is demonic and downpitched over metal-on-metal percussion. The video is yet another nightmare image — an entity that is part woman/part flaming arachnid.

More: $13; March 10, 8 p.m.; Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St.; snugrock.com

feels fine. Three Bone Theatre co-founder Robin Tynes-Miller directs playwright Lucy Kirkwood’s chilling and darkly funny disaster drama. Nuclear physicists and long-married couple Robin and Hazel make the best of it in a shabby seaside cottage, to weather earthquakes, tsunamis and a nuclear meltdown at the nearby power plant where they once worked. When former colleague Rose shows up unexpectedly after 38 years, a romantic triangle is rekindled among the retirement-age scientists, but Kirkwood is after bigger dramatic game.

More: $10-$30; March 11-26; The Arts Factory at West End Studios, 1545 W. Trade St.; threebonetheatre.com

was filed away in the doom metal category, but maybe like presumed metalheads Opeth and Ghost, they’ve just been closet prog rockers all along. The band continues to rely on a whiplash-inducing mix of styles, tied together with thundering percussion, but the music has gotten more complex, melodic and prog. Their 2019 release Gold & Grey summoned comparisons to such disparate influences as King Crimson, The Cure and Killing Joke. This tour is a fancurated run, with the band giving each ticketholder a login to craft and vote on the set list.

More: $60; March 12, 7 p.m.; The Milestone, 400 Tuckaseegee Rd.; themilestone.club

LANGHORNE SLIM Courtesy of Dualtone Records

3/18

FRI 3/18

MARCH 3/18-3/19

LANGHORNE SLIM, RIDDY ARMAN

‘STAR WARS: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK’ IN CONCERT

Langhorne Slim, born Sean Scolnick, pulls from roadhouse Americana, honky-tonk blues and pulpit-pounding soul to craft rollicking tunes. By 2019, Scolnick’s clinical depression and addiction came to a head, so he entered a program and found a path toward healing, a decision documented in “Panic Attack” with the lyrics: “I called a healthcare professional/ Wanna speak to someone confidentially/ Don’t know just how I’m feelin’/ But I’m feelin’ feelings exponentially.” That tune and 18 other songs make up Langhorne Slim’s latest album Strawberry Mansion. Previously fogged in a cloud of bravado, Scolnick’s soul-searching now comes into sharp focus.

More: $25; March 18, 8 p.m.; Visulite Theatre, 1615 Elizabeth Ave.; visulite.com

The Charlotte Symphony Orchestra provides live accompaniment to The Empire Strikes Back, the second film in the Star War franchise behemoth.

In 1980 it wasn’t certain that the sequel to the light-hearted breakout success of 1977 would succeed. Director Irvin Kerschner’s vision was more character-driven and considerably darker than the first film’s, and that more somber tone and increased depth is reflected in John Williams’ score.

The composer’s penchant for Wagnerian leitmotifs reaches its apotheosis here with “The Imperial March.” It’s Darth Vader’s theme and the soundtrack for militaristic bad guys everywhere.

More: $56 and up; March 18-19; Belk Theater, 130 N. Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org

‘STAR WARS: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK’ Film still

3/18-3/19

MARCH MARCH 3/18-5/29 3/22-3/27 STATE ARTS 2021 SOUTHERN PRIZE AND STATE FELLOWS

3/18-5/29

Jesus H. Christ! Is this musical phenomenon really a half century old? This resurrection of the biblical chestnut has garnered stellar reviews and myriad accolades. The secret to the production’s success is that it’s smart about the show’s history, and therefore pays particular attention to Andrew Lloyd Webber’s music. JCS began as a rock album first and a hit stage show second. Peruse the 1971 album’s credits and you’ll find Deep Purple singer Ian Gillan as Jesus alongside guitar ace and John Cale sideman Chris Spedding, who produced the Sex Pistols’ first demos.

More: $25 and up; March 22-27; Belk Theater, 130 N. Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org

‘JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR’ Courtesy of Blumenthal Arts

3/22-3/27

Pg. 17 - March 9-22, 2022

MARIELLE PLAISIR Promotional photo

This exhibition presents the nine 2021 fellowship recipients of the South Arts Southern Prize & State Fellows project, which launched in 2017. The artists here hail from Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina and Tennessee, and have first-hand experience with issues surrounding ethnicity, identity, colonialism and gender. The 2021 Southern Prize winner, Marielle Plaisir, creates lavish artworks populated with contemporary and historical figures against lush, Caribbean-inspired backdrops. Southern Prize Finalist Fletcher Williams III addresses Southern history and culture using found and natural materials.

More: $5-$9; March 18–May 29; Gantt Center, 551 S. Tryon St.; ganttcenter.org

‘JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR’

Pg. 18 - March 9-22, 2022

LIFESTYLE PUZZLES

LIFESTYLE PUZZLES

TRIVIA TEST

BY FIFI RODRIGUEZ

CROSSWORD

1. MYTHOLOGY: In Roman mythology, Cupid is the god of love. What’s the name of the Greek god of love?

2. MOVIES: Which movie series features a character named Inspector Clouseau?

3. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: What is the basic currency used in Greenland?

4. HISTORY: What was the first toy to be advertised on U.S. television?

5. MEASUREMENTS: What is the unit of measurement used to gauge the speed and direction of a computer mouse?

6. GEOGRAPHY: Which U.S. territory’s unofficial slogan is “Where America’s Day Begins”?

7. TELEVISION: What is the longest running scripted TV series?

8. U.S. PRESIDENTS: Which president campaigned for election PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW with the slogan “Happy Days Are ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS Here Again”?

ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE. 9. LANGUAGE: In British English, ©2020 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved. what is a windcheater?

10. ANATOMY: What part of the PUZZLE ANSWERS ON PG. 21 human brain controls hunger?

SUDOKU

BY LINDA THISTLE

LIVE

MUSIC

always free

March Saturday, 12th // Jon Linker @ 6p

Friday, 18th // Abbey Elmore @ 5p Sunday, 20th // Delirium Trio @ 3p

1016 North Davidson Street

DOWNSIZING ©2022 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.

JPg. 19 - March 9-22, 2022

Friday, 25th // Young-Chhaylee @ 7p

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

AERIN IT OUT WHAT THAT MOUTH DO? Not entertained by dummies

BY AERIN SPRUILL

Pg. 20 - March 9-22, 2022

It’s very rare that I’m at a loss for words, but it’s only fitting that an ad-hoc social request to see ventriloquist and standup comedian Jeff Dunham would take the words right out of my mouth.

You’re probably wondering what in the hell I was doing at a ventriloquist show. Well, so was I. You know when you’re talking with someone about something they’re excited to do, and you share in their excitement temporarily because you’re happy for them, and then all of a sudden, your empathic nature gets you slowly roped into the said event that you’re not excited about? That’s exactly how it happened.

The boyfriend and I were talking to one of our friend couples separately, and my girlfriend goes, “We’re going to see Jeff Dunham,” to which I replied excitedly and animatedly, “Yay! That’s so exciting,” all the while having absolutely NO CLUE who Jeff Dunham was. Then it comes out that he’s a whole ventriloquist! Like, who even does ventriloquism anymore? And who in the world wants to go watch that? But I tried to maintain my cool, smile

intact, and judgment pushed to the back of my facial expressions.

I let out a nervous chuckle, “Oh okay then, well probably miss me with that one,” to solidify my disinterest as, “Y’all should come with us,” fell right out of their mouths. To my absolute surprise (and demise), I found out later that my boyfriend had already been conned into purchasing a pair of tickets for the both of us for $200 a pop!? I know you are lying!

First of all, I’ve been terrified of dolls since I accidentally watched Child’s Play as a youngster thinking it was a sweet little movie about a boy and his loving doll. Yep, nightmares for decades. Second of all, no ventriloquist in the world is worth $400. No way. All I kept thinking was, “I better not see his lips move one bit!

By the time I leave, that doll better damn near be real.”

Three months later, I was still in shock that I would, in fact, be attending a ventriloquist show. And the kicker?

My boyfriend COULDN’T EVEN GO! Oh my, the irony.

So here I am walking into Spectrum Center, stone-

cold sober, I might add, and I’m looking around, and I realize there are very few people that look like me. Now, I can’t say that I was surprised, but in a place that big, you get just a teensy-weensy nervous that the moment you always feared, “Your kind don’t belong here,” is finally going to happen. Uh-huh, yep, this time it is that kind of rally, and the joke’s on you.

I took a deep breath and looked at my girlfriend, who I dragged along on the couple date in my boyfriend’s place, and though she’s not Black, she had the same look of terror (not comforting at all) as we walked through the thousands of stares to our seats. After securing a Truly, I chugged that big boy as fast as I could before the lights dimmed and the “show” began.

The combination of dramatic lights and overly done visuals followed by a smug, little fake tan orange, beadyeyed, Joel Osteen face that already knows the offering plate total at a megachurch, screamed, “Do you have a moment for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?!” I’m not kidding. It was like I was watching a very long episode of Righteous Gemstones.

Dunham was the opening act for himself, which seemed par for the course if you ask me, and I never even heard of this man before. During his standup, I was genuinely tickled by some of his jokes, like when he laughs about throwing his voice during a funeral as if the person lying in the casket is talking! I may be damning myself to hell by laughing but, whew, imagining that had me hysterical!

Just when I was getting ready to let my guard down,

Dunham began to transition, fiddling with the doll boxes and saying some version of, “We’re here to laugh and love each other, political correctness and comedy aren’t good bedfellows…” And there it was. AKA, “I’m going to say whatever the heck I want, and there’s no point in getting butthurt.”

I braced myself. The very first doll/character was Walter, dressed as a Secret Service agent, and the topic of conversation was, of course, politics. *Insert eye roll.* Naturally, that was followed by masks, vaccines, etc. Then, at one point, Dunham acknowledged he and his wife’s concern over a lack of natural immunity for their kids and before he could even put a period on the sentence, the entire place erupted in yips, hollers, and applause. You would have thought we were listening to a presidential speech at the RNC! Uncomfortable. That’s the only word I can use to adequately describe the show for me, my couple’s date stand-in, and even my girlfriend who made these plans in the first place! But I guess that’s the thing about comedy: It often is uncomfortable. It’s not one size fits all, and when jokes fall flat, the “SILENCE! Will kill you,” *in Achmed the Dead Terrorist’s voice* (yes, that was a character’s name, Google it).

I know I’m sensitive to a fault, and that’s why so many comedians don’t do it for me, but the performative nature of ventriloquism requires genuine skill and talent.

And for that, Jeff Osteen, I mean Jeff Dunham, I applaud you.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

HOROSCOPE

MAR 16 - MAR 22

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) This is a good time to reassess important relationships, both personal and professional, to see where problems might exist and how they can be overcome. Keep communication lines open.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) It’s not easy to bring order to a chaotic situation, whether it’s in the workplace or at home. But if anyone can do it, you can. A pleasant surprise awaits you by week’s end.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Be careful that you don’t make an upcoming decision solely on the word of those who might have their own reasons for wanting you to act as they suggest. Check things out for yourself.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) A personal relationship that seems to be going nowhere could be restarted once you know why it stalled. An honest discussion could result in some surprising revelations.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) That unexpected attack of self-doubt could be a way of warning yourself to go slow before making a career-changing decision.

Take more time to do a closer study of the facts.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) A workplace problem needs your attention now, before it deteriorates to a point beyond repair. A trusted third party could be helpful in closing the gaps that have opened.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) A recent family situation could give rise to a new problem. Keep an open mind and avoid making judgments about anyone’s motives until all the facts are in.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Rely on your always-sharp intuition to alert you to potential problems with someone’s attempt to explain away the circumstances behind a puzzling incident.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Although you still need to do some snipping of those lingering loose ends from a past project, you can begin moving on to something else.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) With your self-confidence levels rising, you should feel quite comfortable with agreeing to take on a possibly troublesome, but potentially well-rewarded, situation.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Travel is favored, both for business and for fun. The end of the week brings news about an upcoming project that could lead toward that promised career change.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) You might feel suddenly overwhelmed by a flood of responsibilities.

But if you deal with each one in its turn, you’ll soon be able to hold your head above water and move on.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Keep an open mind about a suggestion you see as unworkable. Give it a chance to prove itself one way or another. The results could surprise both supporters and detractors.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) News about an upcoming venture causes you to make some lastminute adjustments in your plans. But the extra work will pay off, as you come to learn more about the potential benefits opening up.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) A more positive aspect grows out of your determination to reach your immediate goals. Continue to keep your focus sharp and on target by steering clear of petty quarrels and other pesky problems.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) By acting as a voice of reason, you can avoid adding to an already turbulent situation. You might have to shout over the tumult, but your words ultimately will be heard and heeded.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) The possibility of a new acquisition always makes those Leonine eyes light up. But be careful that what you see is what you want. Appearances often can be deceiving.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) No matter how much you might feel that you’re in the right, resist saying anything that could reignite a still-unresolved situation. Let the matter drop, and move on.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Help with a personal problem comes from an unexpected source.

You also find workplace pressures easing. Use this period of calm to restore your spent energies.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) You might have to share the credit for that project you’re working on. But there’ll be enough credit to go around, and your efforts will be recognized and rewarded.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Details need to be dealt with before you can move on to another area. Make sure you don’t leave any loose ends that could later cause everything to unravel.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) News about a change in the workplace carries with it a challenge you could find difficult to resist. Check it out. It could be just what you’ve been waiting for.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Allowing your artistic nature full expression will help restore your spirits and will put you in the mood to take on that new career challenge. A Libra creates excitement.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Expect to happily plunge right into a hectic social whirl starting at week’s end. Your aspects favor new friendships as well as the strengthening of old relationships.

BORN THIS WEEK: You have a wonderful way of offering comfort as well as guidance. You would do BORN THIS WEEK: Like St. Patrick (who was well in the healing arts. also born this week), your spiritual strength is an inspiration to others.

2022 KING FEATURES SYND., INC.

WWW.CANVASTATTOOS.COM

(980) 299-2588 3012 N. DAVIDSON STREET VOTED BEST TATTOO SHOP 2918 N. DAVIDSON STREET CHARLOTTE, NC 28205

2019 2020 2021

JPg. 21 - March 9-22, 2022

MAR 9 - MAR 15

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

SAVAGE LOVE

PG.19 PUZZLE ANSWERS

LAY MISÉRABLES Fear of the unknown

BY DAN SAVAGE

Pg. 22 - March 9-22, 2022

First and most importantly, THFWA, I’m so sorry for your loss — the loss of your friend and lover, and the loss of the future you might have had with him.

My heart goes out to you.

As for your specific question…

Back in my younger days, when I first started writing this column, I advised people against masturbating about the dead. Being a gay man who came out just as the AIDS Crisis was starting, I would go on to lose friends and boyfriends during that pandemic, including the first man I ever truly loved.

Looking back, I gave the advice I did — don’t masturbate about the dead — not because it was good advice for everyone, THFWA, but because sex was so closely associated with death for me that I personally couldn’t bear the thought of doing anything that would make that association any stronger.

When I was in my twenties and early thirties, I could only masturbate about things that were still possible in the future I hoped to have, and not about the people and possibilities I’d already lost.

So, as alive as my desire still was for my first true

away. He lives in another town but is willing to drive to where I live to meet me.

That’s the reason I’m writing you. I need to make a decision here and I can’t. Is it a bad idea to play with a total stranger even if I find the idea hot?

SUFFERING NEWLY OUT GUY

The world is on fire.

Let this pig come see you. Meet the pig in a public place. If the pig gives you a bad feeling — not the bad feeling you arrived with, but some other bad feeling — you don’t have to go through with anything.

But if the pig seems nice and you have a good feeling, SNOG, then you can invite him back to your place and have some of that kinky sex you wanna have. (And all “pig” means in this context is, “This dude likes sex and with the right guy or guys he’ll fucking wallow in it.”)

Why is this pig rushing things? Well, maybe he’s been watching CNN and knows the world is on fire — along with at least one of the nuclear power plants in it — and wants to experience the joy and connection of sex with a man he’s attracted to while he still can.

And he’s accepted something you’re gonna need to accept if you ever wanna have the sex you fantasize about: There’s no such thing as risk-free sex.

You can minimize your risk for acquiring an STI by getting on PrEP and using condoms or by avoiding penetration and sticking to kink play and mutual masturbation; you can minimize the risk of meeting someone scary or dangerous by watching out for red flags and trusting your judgment.

But at the end of the day … you gotta take a chance. And this guy’s willingness to take a chance on you isn’t by itself a red flag, SNOG, as it’s not uncommon for gay men to wanna fuck right away, aka establishing sexual compatibility before making a huge emotional investment in a potential new sex and/or romantic partner.

I can’t promise you this experience will go any better than your past experiences. I can promise you that you’ll never have a good experience if you aren’t willing to take reasonable risks, SNOG, and this guy seems like a reasonable risk to me.

I’m a 35-year-old gay man who spent most of his life in the closet. I’ve been with very few men, and they were all bad hookups.

I’ve grown frustrated with the lack of opportunities to meet people, but lately I feel like I need to just be with someone. But I feel like I can’t trust myself meeting people on apps anymore, partly due to fear of STIs, partly due to bad experiences, and partly due to my fear of meeting someone who is scary or possessive.

It’s gotten to the point where my desire to be with a guy is causing me real suffering.

All because I can’t figure out a way to meet someone without risk. I started talking to one guy on this gay app and our kinks are fairly aligned and everything he’s saying sounds good, but he also seems like maybe he does this a lot.

He kept referring to himself as a “pig,” which I found kind of hot but I’m not sure what it implies. When told that I’d like to have a brief Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage; chat before jumping into play, he basically said questions@savagelove.net; find columns, podcasts, that he prefers to just “jump right in.” books, merch, and more at www.savage.love!

When I brought up my boundaries he seemed to respect them but again emphasized that he likes to play with a new partner right

the International Date Line 7. “The Simpsons” 8. Franklin Roosevelt (1932) 9. A windbreaker 10. Hypothalamus

TOO HEARTBROKEN FOR WITTY ACRONYMS

love, I couldn’t fantasize about my time with him. It made me feel his loss too deeply at a time when I knew more loss was coming my way, and soon. And maybe it was easier for me to avoid masturbating about him, seeing as I only had my memories of him, and not a smartphone full of sext messages and dirty videos.

Anyway, THFWA, what I wanted to say … and what I can see now … is that we all grieve in our own ways. If the thought of masturbating about your lover gives you a feeling of peace or pleasure or makes you feel connected to him — if reading those sexts messages and watching those videos comfort you more than they grieve you — you should do it.

But brace yourself for the very real possibility that you’ll be overwhelmed by feelings of loss after you climax. While fantasies have the power to lift us out of the moment, our refractory periods have a way of throwing us back down to Earth. You’ll rub one out, then you’ll cry it out.

And if that’s what you need, if that makes you feel better, if that helps you feel his presence and not just his loss … there’s more than one way someone’s memory can be a blessing.

Trivia Test Answers: 1. 24 Answers 1. Eros 2. “The Pink Panther” 3. Danish krone 4. Mr. Potato Head 5. Mickeys per second 6. Guam, whose location is near

I lost my lover unexpectedly last weekend.

He was a long-time friend and periodic hookup, and things were finally starting to turn as serious as I’d always secretly wanted them to be. I’m writing because I don’t know what to do with my desire for him, because that certainly didn’t die with him.

He’s the only person I’ve been with in the past year and a half and re-reading our old sexts and thinking about the last time we were together has been turning me on. But I feel all sorts of torn up about masturbating to the thought of him. I want to do it, but I haven’t.

We had a trip planned at the end of March that I am still planning on taking where he was telling me we were going to fall in love. We had been talking (he was on the other side of the country) and video sexting about all the things we were going to do to each other, and I was looking forward to having the best sex of my life with him (we really connected in bed) while on a tropical island.

Now I will be going alone. Is it healthy for me to masturbate about him? I mean, I know he’d love the thought, but it also makes me feel so devastatingly sad. Thoughts?

JPg. 23 - March 9-22, 2022