Queen City Nerve - October 4, 2023

Brewton’s

By Ryan Pitkin

TABLE OF CONTENTS

4 A Breaking Point by Annie Keough How CMS is working to meet increased youth mental health needs

6 Lifeline: Ten Cool Things To Do in Two Weeks ARTS

8 Check the Threads by Rayne Antrim Local couple launches inclusive fashion brand for plus-size clientele

10 Local Haunts by Ryan Pitkin

Jason Tapp of Spooky CLT talks paranormal activity, headstones and haunted hotels

MUSIC

12 Burn Brightly by Pat Moran Roman Candles go from a lit fuse to ignition 14 Soundwave

Bites by

THE BREAKING POINT

How CMS is working to meet increased youth mental health needs

BY ANNIE KEOUGH

In 2021, the American Academy of Pediatrics declared a national emergency in child and adolescent mental health in 2021.

In the 2021 Adolescent Behaviors and Experiences Survey conducted by the CDC, data showed 44% of U.S. high school students experienced persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness and nearly 20% seriously considered committing suicide.

It’s believed that the struggles have been heavily influenced by the COVID-19 pandemic.

In a 2022 article in N.C. Health News, Gary Maslow, associate professor in the Duke Department of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences and co-director of the Division of Child & Family Mental Health & Community Psychiatry, called the rising youth mental health crisis “the next wave of the pandemic.”

Dr. Taren Coley, double-board certified psychiatrist and director of child & adolescent services at HopeWay, a Charlotte-based nonprofit organization offering mental health services at different levels of care, said the pandemic had a residual impact on youth mental health concerns, from which we are still learning the effects.

As reported by The Charlotte Ledger in a collaborative reporting series with N.C. Health News in September, more than one in five North Carolina high school students seriously considered attempting suicide in 2021. And, according to N.C. Health News, the percentage of students in NC who reported feeling sad or hopeless surged from 28% to 43% over the past decade.

Charlotte is of course not immune to these national trends, said Jennifer De La Jara, at-large representative on the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools Board of Education (CMS BOE).

But it’s not just COVID that carries the blame.

Now in an attempt to curb the effects of further mental decline, the CMS BOE has filed a lawsuit against social media platforms Meta, Google,

TikTok’s parent company ByteDance, and Snap Inc., following the lead of other school districts across the country that are attempting to hold those companies accountable for the damage they’ve allegedly caused to student’s mental health and the burden it adds to school districts.

Social media in CMS schools

In a press release announcing the lawsuit in late August, the CMS BOE stated that the ongoing youth mental health crisis is exacerbated by social media platforms’ targeted and addictive design. CMS is then left to bear the weight of the crisis.

The press release provides an overview of ways in which CMS has struggled to provide students with adequate mental health resources and services amidst a national crisis and deficient funding from the state legislature.

“By pursuing this legal action, the school district endeavors to alleviate the burden placed on taxpayers and secure the necessary resources to address the crisis, thereby safeguarding the wellbeing of its students,” the press release reads.

The CMS BOE aims to instigate a transformation of these platforms through this lawsuit to make them safer for minors and demand accountability and financial compensation.

The lawsuit aligns CMS with school districts nationwide, as the Wall Street Journal reported in July that nearly 200 school districts across the country had filed lawsuits against social media platforms. Seattle Public Schools (SPS) was the first to file early this year.

“Social media companies intentionally design their platforms to get young users addicted to their services and exploit their developing minds for profit,” said Phil Federico, an attorney representing the CMS BOE, in the CMS press release. “When children become addicted to social media and

are presented with an endless stream of harmful content, they are far more likely to develop depression, anxiety, and other serious mental health effects”

“Through this litigation,” Federico continued, “we plan to compel social media companies to fully address the harms caused by their platforms and compensate school districts for the resources they’ve been forced to utilize to try and mitigate this youth mental health crisis.”

Coley confirmed social media is a major component of the challenges adolescents face today.

“There’s just so much more accessibility to things on the internet that can be negative or damaging,” she told Queen City Nerve. “Social media opens up a lot of comparison, anxiety, bullying, and … we want to help limit exposure to those types of things.”

“Social media is ubiquitous,” said Brent Croker, a school psychologist at Bailey Middle School and CMS’ School Psychologist of the Year. “The media and the internet, it’s kind of like the Wild, Wild West right now.”

Croker echoed Federico and Coley’s concerns, saying the addictive nature of social media influences kids to engage in risky behaviors and intensifies the human tendency to compare, a double standard specifically pushed toward young girls.

De La Jara said her son acknowledged that inperson classes are better for him because he has to put his phone away.

“If our students are telling us that they want to make those choices, then we should listen to them,” De La Jara said in response.

“The Board’s decision to take legal action reflects our unwavering commitment to the welfare of our students and to ensure that social media corporations are held responsible for their contribution to the mental health challenges faced by CMS students,” Elyse Dashew, CMS Board Chair, stated in the press release.

Dashew and De La Jara told Queen City Nerve they did not wish to speak to the active litigation outside of the official statement released by the board, but they both reiterated their firm support as board members and mothers.

What’s going on in CMS schools?

With the 2023 school year in full swing, students and families are more than aware of the difficult transition going back to school has on kids, Coley told Queen City Nerve. The change can affect a student’s mental health, increasing anxiety and stress.

To help students emotionally prepare for school, Coley suggests parents get them back into routines, manage their expectations, set a daily schedule, keep open communication and set aside a time when kids can check in with them.

The struggle doesn’t end after the first week of school, after all.

COURTESY OF HOPEWAY

A RENDERING OF HOPEWAY’S NEW YOUTH MENTAL HEALTH CENTER.

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

Laura Bakosh, co-founder and CEO of schoolbased mindfulness program Inner Explorer, said 80% of Charlotte students experience chronic stress, which changes brain networks, inhibits learning and thinking and brings about mental health disorders, causing students to perform at a suboptimal level, both academically and behaviorally.

To combat this, CMS Psychological Services uses Multi-Tiered Systems of Support (MTSS) as a vehicle to examine student academic, emotional and behavioral needs, Croker said.

“We’re the front lines,” he said. “We’re the ones, a lot of times, noticing these issues with the kids. And we just wanna work with the kids and the families on making things better.”

The battle can seem all the more grave when you’re outnumbered. According to the National Association of School Psychologists, the suggested ratio of school psychologists to students should not exceed one psychologist for every 500 students. In CMS, there are 1,500 students to every one school psychologist, De La Jara said.

“That’s how far the disparities [are] of the ideal goal and our reality of where we are,” she said. “We’re already not meeting the needs … of what our students deserve.”

Although CMS’ Psychology Department has made moves to lessen the ratio of students to school psychologists, there are still school districts in North Carolina that don’t have a single psychologist assigned to their district, Croker said.

While it is a school psychologist’s job to help kids, they can’t possibly help all of them when there are so many, Bakosh acknowledged. “It must be an incredibly frustrating job to be on the ground like that and not be able to serve the kids that need it.”

Psychologists aren’t the only ones who can help, though.

“The mental health of kids is going to be tied to the community, the parents, the schools that they’re in and not just in a vacuum,” Croker said. “When we’re working with kids, we also want to work with families.”

Croker said parents can keep an eye out for warning signs in their children at home, which include major changes in behavior or disengaging from things they previously enjoyed. Parents can help their children feel safe enough to confide in them, promoting open and honest conversations about their mental health.

“You can talk about these things before they become bigger problems later,” Croker said.

It’s also crucial for parents to communicate with the school and go to parent-teacher conferences to find out how their kids are doing in school beyond what their grades are.

Talking directly with teachers can overstep the shortcomings of recent policy changes in accordance with Senate Bill 49, altering the opt-out option for student well-being surveys to an opt-in mandate, meaning students will no longer automatically participate in the surveys.

De La Jara voiced concerns about the effects of the revisions before a CMS BOE vote in August.

Out of 142,000 students last year, CMS only had 324 opt-out of the well-being survey, De La Jara told Queen City Nerve. Next year, CMS will be tasked with getting 122,000 families to opt in to the survey.

The information gathered from the surveys informs decisions that the CMS Student Services department makes, including oversight of school psychologists, and advises advocacy work with state legislators around the importance of adding more school psychologists and third-party providers funded by the county.

The potential domino effect caused by the lack of survey responses may interfere with the ability of CMS to continue to provide mental health services as the data may not be reflective of current teenage struggles.

“I’m very concerned that the data that we will get will not be as statistically relevant,” De La Jara said.

“[Everyone] wants young people to be healthy, whether that’s mentally healthy, physically healthy, psychologically healthy,” Dashew said about the policy. “And in order to give our kids the support that they need to be healthy, we need to be able to ask how they are doing as parents, as a school system and as a community.”

Where can kids get help?

In the absence of well-being surveys and sufficient funding for student mental health services, third-party providers have stepped up to aid CMS students.

GreenLight Fund Charlotte, a national network of sites using community-driven approaches to tackle racial and economic inequalities, announced in September its multi-year investment in Inner Explorer, a nonprofit organization started in Massachusetts to support the mental health and well-being of students, teachers and administrators.

Inner Explorer utilizes 40 years of scientific evidence on mindfulness’ impact on behavior and mental health disorders to aid in the mental health crisis in schools. CMS schools partnering with Inner

Explorer access a program for 5-10 minutes each day for a guided mindfulness experience, engaging students and teachers in the classroom and family members via a separate app.

“Mindfulness attenuates chronic stress,” said Bakosh. “It changes [and] reorients the brain to that higher order processing, so it slows down and stops chronic stress and improves thinking and learning.”

Inner Explorer is currently working with individual schools within CMS and is not a districtwide initiative yet.

HopeWay, a nonprofit mental health treatment center for adults, will open a new Oakhurst Commons location in early 2024 for adolescents struggling with mental health and eating disorders.

Although the organization began solely serving adults, the new addition will serve youth in response to the increased need for mental health services, reserving time and space for students and offering tutoring as part of the program.

“We wanted to expand because … there’s been a significant rise in adolescent mental health concerns for a variety of different reasons,” said Coley. “And we know the importance of early intervention and diagnosis, which can be just really critical at helping to succeed and function.”

The Adolescent Mental Health Program will treat teens ages 12-17 and the Eating Disorder Program will treat the same age range plus young adults ages 18-25.

CMS also offers direct support services to students and families through social workers, behavior modification technicians (BMTs), school-based counseling with third-party providers and more.

“There are many, many efforts that the school system is engaged with to try to meet the needs of our students and their families,” De La Jara said. “I think one of the concerns, though, is that there’s just not enough.”

That’s why advocacy and awareness of student mental health services will be so important going forward, De La Jara and Croker said.

Knowing what mental health support CMS already has in place is key in pushing for growth where they’re falling short and ensuring schools don’t lose what services they already have.

“I’m actually proud of Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools for making decisions based on the needs of our students,” De La Jara said. “Because there are kids that need these services now.”

When she appeared on our Nooze Hounds podcast back in 2022, Isabella Santos Foundation founder Erin Santos told us she was putting an end to the organization’s popular 5K and looking for new fundraising ideas. Brunch is never a bad idea. The first festival held at The Amp in Ballantyne will feature food selections from The Waterman, Chef Tiore, Ruby Sunshine, OooWee BBQ and more, plus alcoholic and nonalcoholic specially drink options, live music from New Local, and a slew of familyfriendly events. The VIP lounge area will feature a dedicated bar, food from Mizu, two drink tickets and more.

More: Free-$125; Oct. 7, 11 a.m.-3 p.m.; The Amp Ballantyne, 11115 Upper Ave.; isabellasantosfoundation.org

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AQUALADS, JEREMY DEHART

“No vocals, just reverb,” Charlotte’s legendary Aqualads proudly proclaim. Like the ever-turning tides, The Aqualads sound eternally restless — at least since 1997, when these surf-rock guitar slingers first got together to explore their love of 1960s-inspired rock instrumentals. With fast, coiling, twanging guitars and thundering drums, the ‘Lads have always been more Dick Dale-style daredevils than shag archivists. At heart, The Aqualads are punk rockers who play hard and fast in the name of fun. DJ Jeremy Dehart opens with a set of surf and Polynesian sounds to set the tiki bar vibe. More: Free; Oct. 5, 8 p.m.; Tommy’s Pub, 3124 Eastway Dr.; facebook.com/tommyspub

SUKI WATERHOUSE, CAROL ADES, DANIELLE DURACK

“I can’t forget that night/ You said I looked like Suzy Quatro/ In the morning light/ fated to oblivion...” With the opening of “Moves” off Suki Waterhouse’s debut album, I Can’t Let Go, the British actress-singer drips louche and effortless cool — earning points for referencing the American glam-rock pioneer who was the harbinger to Joan Jett. With her breathy, slightly slurred delivery, Waterhouse nails sophisticated world-weary laments that impart an air of hushed intimacy and brittle fragility as they plumb the insoluble mysteries of the heart. American singer-songwriters Ades and Durack till similar fertile fields

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EAT, DRINK, DISRUPT SUMMIT

With an intentional emphasis on Black, Indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC)-led programming, the EDD Summit is a 100% whole-food, plant-based clinical, culinary and wellness equity program that focuses on evidence-based chronic disease interventions while also offering perspectives on systemic food and health inequities and onsite support of BIPOC-owned businesses and brands. The event will feature physician-led programming, a moderated panel on The Socio-Environmental Impacts of Food Apartheid hosted by Tone X, free eats at five BIPOC-run Taste & Hydrate stations, cooking demos, giveaways and more.

More: $25-$30; Oct. 7, 10:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m.; CPCC’s Parr Center, 1201 Elizabeth Ave.; eddsummits.com

More: $23; Oct. 6, 7 p.m.; The Amp Ballantyne, 11115 Upper Ave.; ampballantyne.com

AQUALADS Courtesy of Aqualads 10/5 SUKI WATERHOUSE Courtesy of Amp Ballantyne 10/6

KIANA LEDÉ

You may recognize Kiana Ledé from her acting roles in MTV’s Scream or the Netflix series All About the Washingtons, but she’s always been about her music. Having won a record contract and starring role in a Kidz Bop video at 14 years old, Kiana grew up to become a certified pop R&B star, releasing her debut album Kiki in April 2020, debuting at No. 30 on the Billboard 200. Her follow-up Grudges dropped in June, detailing her stages of grief following a bad breakup — from bitterness to anger to regret to inner peace. The heartfelt album tackles mental health and even covers her own experience with sexual assault.

More: $34 and up; Oct. 10, 8 p.m.; The Underground, 820 Hamilton St.; fillmorenc.com

LUNG FORCE TURQUOISE TASTING

More than 380,000 people in the Charlotte area suffer from lung disease, including lung cancer, COPD and asthma. In North Carolina alone, nearly 4,700 people will die from the disease this year. However, there is hope, as the survival rate has increased by nearly 40% in the last decade. Funding research, encouraging lung cancer screening and reducing stigma around the disease saves lives. This one-of-a-kind cocktail reception features custom elements, unique food-and-beverage pairings, a silent auction, live music and more to raise funds for lifesaving lung cancer research, early detection initiatives and awareness outreach in vulnerable communities.

More: $150 and up; Oct. 12, 6:30 p.m.; Carmel Country Club, 4735 Carmel Road; charlotteturquoisetasting.org

HERE TO STAY: EL ARTE DEL INMIGRANTE

Wrapping up Hispanic Heritage Month, cultural journalist and advocate Sorayda Díaz curates this annual exhibition to bring to life stories like those told in her digital magazine, VozEs. The talented selection of local artists includes more than a dozen local Hispanic artists showing works in a diverse range of mediums from photography to sculpture, offering a unique perspective on the experiences and creativity of immigrants in the United States. The exhibit opening will include musical performances, dance, poetry, and an appetizer tasting from renowned Mexican chef Edwin Cruz, owner and founder of Arbol Eatery and Edwin’s Organix.

More: Free; Oct. 13, 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Bohemian Gardens at Carillon Towers, 227 W. Trade St.; tinyurl.com/HereToStayCLT

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‘STUFF INSIDE MY HEAD’

Local playwright Michael Garcia premiered his play Stuff Inside My Head, which he wrote to encourage more Black and Latino men to seek treatment for potential mental health issues, at Central Piedmont Community College in January. Now he’s back at the school with a second run thanks to popular demand. Written in September 2021, the play was based on a book of poetry Garcia wrote while experiencing depression. He eventually added dialogue but kept the poetry. The play centers three Black men who meet up in a Harlem apartment, with the tagline “What could go wrong?” A letter carrying bad news sends the men into spiraling cycles of depression and insecurity.

More: $25-$40, Oct. 14, 7:30 p.m.; CPCC’s Parr Center, 1201 Elizabeth Ave.; tix.cpcc.edu

SUSTO, FAMILY VIDEO, PLEASURE HOUSE

NashVegas session aces Here Come the Mummies and funk party monsters Perpetual Groove grace night one of Moo & Brew’s Rocktober, but night two’s lineup is the better catch. A robust Americana vein runs through Charleston combo Susto’s country rock. Charlotte’s Family Video first caught our ears with electroclash single/video “The Image.” The 5-piece drops an EP this month featuring sinister/ catchy noise-rocker “Continental Drift” and metal machine stomp “Holy Ghost.” Queen City’s buoyant alt-rockers Pleasure House nod to indie chameleons Pavement and the lumbering triceratops power of 1970s behemoth Ram Jam.

More: $29.99; Oct. 15, 6 p.m.; Moo & Brew, 1300 Central Ave.; mooandbrew.com

CURSE MACKEY, I SPEAK MACHINE, SINE

The image promoting Austin dark-wave artist Curse Mackey’s Electric Exorcism Tour is a collage of a Cyclops Virgin Mary flanked by cherubs and a syringe. It captures the witty goth vibe of this bill perfectly. Mackey’s “Dead Fingers Talk” harnesses percolating synths and from-a-whisper-to-ascream dynamics. L.A.’s I Speak Machine (Tara Busch and Maf Lewis) brings fractured electronics and Busch’s Lene Lovich-style vocal gymnastics to the post-apocalyptic party. Austin’s Dominatrix-chic fashionista SINE (Rona Rougeheart) specializes in the stuttering dance beasts and taunting vocals that defined scene pioneers My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult.

More: $14; Oct. 16, 8 p.m.; Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St.; snugrock.com

MICHAEL GARCIA, ‘STUFF INSIDE MY HEAD’ Promotional photo 10/14

Photo by Boyd Joye Photography

CHECK THE THREADS

Local couple launches inclusive fashion brand for plus-size clientele

BY RAYNE ANTRIM

All too often, one’s aesthetic is assigned at birth based on apparent gender; you wear pink or you wear blue. In an instant, we are assigned a gender to identify how we are to move in the world and how we are to be labeled within its social parameters. That’s just the way it is and the way it will always be. Or maybe not.

In recent decades, more people have come to understand that, as time goes on, one decides who they are and who they want to become. As they grow and mature, their identity becomes more clear to them, shaped by their own visceral experiences, memories and cultural environments.

One’s identity shouldn’t amount to four concrete lines in the shape of a box. One shouldn’t have to suffocate when trying to blossom. One should have the room and space to fully grow into who they are meant to be.

In short, one should be allowed the space to be fluid in their identity if that means feeling comfortable within their own bodies.

“I think identity is such a fluid thing that you can identify as one thing, or you can identify as everything,” said Beaux Bennett, co-owner of Thique Threads, a queer-owned, sustainable, plus-size popup that operates in the Charlotte area.

“You can find your niche, or you can find all your niches, and you don’t have to be stuck in a box,” he continued. “I think a lot of people still feel like they have to be one thing or the other, but a lot of the people we’ve met this year have taught and reaffirmed to us that you can be everything.”

A big part of being comfortable within your own body means finding comfortable clothes to dress it with. The idea for Thique Threads was originally born from the experience of co-owner Angel Medina, who had a passion for thrifting at vintage markets around Charlotte during college but couldn’t often find clothes that went above XL.

Fellow co-owner Angel Medina first had the idea for the pop-up during college.

“I would feel left out from being able to support somebody that I would’ve liked to support,” he recalled.

Medina’s experience sparked something within him, as he began to consider the potential for a consignment shop that served plus-size folks in general — man, woman, nonbinary person, it would have something for everyone.

The start of Thique Threads

The idea remained on Medina’s mind until he and partner Bennett, his partner, hosted an impromptu exchange between a group of friends during the holiday season.

“One year for our Friendsgiving, we had a huge tote bag of clothes we were getting rid of and we just dumped the clothes out,” Bennett recalled. “We let our friends pick pieces and send us $5 for whatever they found.”

Soon after the gathering, the couple realized that the simple exchange between friends could be made into something much bigger. The two connected with Helen Moffitt, owner of Thrift Pony consignment shop in the Commonwealth neighborhood near Plaza Midwood.

Moffit offered an opportunity to become a vendor at a monthly pop-up held at her secondhand, vintage resale store on Morningside Drive. They jumped at the opportunity, officially launching their new small-business venture on Instagram in February 2023.

They immediately got to work sourcing everything in preparation for their first pop-up: clothes, clothing racks, hangers, clothing tags, tables, etc.

As part of their early decision to prioritize sustainability, the two were resourceful in selecting their materials and products.

“We were pulling pieces from our closet, we went thrifting, we dug up old IKEA racks from our garage,” said Medina. “We borrowed a tent from a friend that she’s still letting us borrow to this day. We kind of pulled it together last minute, but everyone was like, ‘Ooh, what’s that? That’s kind of cool.’”

Their first market experience was one of learning. Looking back, they admit they have been overly excited to be part of their first market pop-up. They quickly picked up on the idea that their warm greetings weren’t appreciated by everyone; sometimes people just want to shop around without all the interaction.

“At the end, we were just like, ‘Let’s just sit down.’ I think we were tired from yelling,” Medina said, laughing. “And then when we sat down, we saw people coming in and we thought, ‘Let’s just be quiet.’”

Sustainability means affordability

Thique Threads has three core values: sustainability, affordability and inclusivity. As for sustainability, that can have a few different

PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN BEAUX BENNETT (LEFT) AND ANGEL MEDINA AT A THIQUE THREADS POP-UP IN EAST CHARLOTTE.

ARTS FEATURE

meanings within the fashion industry.

One definition from Redress Raleigh explains, “Sustainable fashion uses textiles that are manufactured, constructed, and marketed responsibly and consciously that acknowledges and accounts for their environmental and socioeconomic impacts.”

The overall hope behind sustainable fashion is to use a piece of clothing for the entirety of its life cycle, and not produce more waste within the inexorably fast pace of the fashion industry — pushing back on the harmful practices of fast-fashion companies like SHEIN.

“Sustainability to us, and what our brand means is keeping clothing out of landfills,” said Bennett. “We are comfortable buying pieces that might not be in 100% condition when we get them and would otherwise go to landfills and be thrown away. It might be something as simple as a small tear or a stain, but we put in a lot of work to save those pieces.”

Medina’s family has a background in the laundromat industry. His mother taught him early

the different methods to use to remove different types of stains from certain fabrics, so Bennett and Medina are able to launder many of the clothes they take in themselves, going the extra mile to salvage certain pieces.

For Medina, sustainability goes hand in hand with affordability.

“If something’s sustainable, it should be affordable for the person to be able to purchase it,” he said. “We have some of the cheapest prices we’ve seen in the market and it’s all blanket prices for us. Our t-shirts are $12-$15. Our button-ups are $15. Dresses are, like, $18-$25.”

For Bennett and Medina, it’s not all about making a profit, but about making someone happy.

“No matter who you are, everyone needs clothes,” said Bennett. “That includes anyone of a plus-size stature; it’s hard for them to find these clothes just because of fashion trends sometimes. Sometimes they can only find it on fast-fashion websites or they can only get it from another reseller online that’s overcharging and they can’t get that.”

To further their sustainability efforts, the couple recently launched a line of linoleum-print tote bags for customers to reuse at their pop-up or elsewhere, giving a discount upon reuse.

Customers who use a Thique Threads tote or bring their own receive a 5% discount in recognition of their sustainable practices. “The people who are doing their part deserve a little extra,” Bennett said.

Inclusive clothes shopping

Aside from being sure to feature a wide range of sizes for plus-size customers, inclusivity can also mean something as simple as not pigeonholing a piece of clothing into a gender.

Bennett and Medina have become experts at referring to the niche style the clothes fit into or the vibe they’re giving without necessarily categorizing them as belonging to a women’s or men’s section, for example.

“We can refer to it as masculine or feminine without having to directly give it a gender,” said Bennett. “What mood am I feeling? Am I feeling a little bit more feminine? Am I feeling a little bit more masculine?”

The owners describe Thique Threads’ style as one that caters to everyone — from punk to cottagecore to NASCAR — the pair try to find the statement piece that everyone is searching for.

“People are looking for those pieces. When

someone asks you, ‘Where’d you get that?,’ they could be like, ‘I thrifted it,’ or ‘I found it here.’ Honestly, sometimes the gloat is nice,” Medina said, laughing. “Nowadays, people are just trying to find who they are and try to find what they like and what they feel comfortable in.”

Clothing can act as protection for people and their bodies. It can serve in that way through a transition process by helping someone feel more comfortable within their changing body and identity. Sometimes people might buy an oversized shirt or bigger size because they don’t like how they feel in tight-fitting clothing.

“Some people will go through something with their bodies — whether that’s going through a transition of some sort, like body weight transition or gender transition or identity transition — we want to be there to help them with whatever transition they are going through,” Bennett said.

Thique Threads’ foundation is solid and their mission is clear. For them, identity does not fit into a box. But as for an open-ended, reusable tote bag, you can start with that.

RANTRIM@QCNERVE.COM

LOCAL HAUNTS

Jason Tapp of Spooky CLT talks paranormal activity, headstones and haunted hotels

BY RYAN PITKIN

It’s been about five years since Jason Tapp launched Spooky CLT, a website and social media platform that focuses on a mix of lighthearted tales of local hauntings and bona-fide Charlotte history. In that time, he’s worked to share stories, hosting events at breweries and bars around town to discuss topics like The Dunhill Hotel hauntings and how demons are thought of throughout human history, but he’s been involved in the preservation of spooky Charlotte history, including his efforts to restore an abandoned family cemetery along a bustling section of Remount Road in 2020.

His latest project aims to preserve the headstone for Charlie Houck, an animal trainer killed by a lion in Uptown Charlotte in 1930 and buried in Elmwood Cemetery. To raise funds, he’s hosting a ghost tour of the Latta Arcade — the first event of its kind at the 109-year-old property — scheduled for Oct. 13 (yes, a Friday).

We met with Tapp to talk about Charlie Houck, paranormal activity at Latta Arcade and the recent answers that have emerged in the case of The Dunhill.

Queen City Nerve: I’ve always respected the fact that you don’t just sensationalize Charlotte history for the sake of spookiness, but come at it from a respectful angle. Has human history always been a passion of yours in the same way that the paranormal is a passion?

Jason Tapp: I was never a good student or anything. I think this is the first time I found a passion project that has really inspired me to read. I’ve always been a fan of horror movies and things like that, so that’s where I was coming from. But it’s a fine line with sharing these ghost stories and the human history part.

I’m still trying to figure out the right way to keep talking about Odell [Mundy], who died in The Dunhill. You want to be talking about, “Oh, is this the Dunhill ghost?” but you’re like, “Man, this guy’s family is in Mooresville right now, living and

breathing and talking. How would they feel if a family member of theirs was an urban legend?” So there’s a fine line; a lot of times I just give the facts and that’s all you can do. But if you’re watching a video about a Revolutionary War battle from a guy named Spooky CLT, like, you kind of make the connection yourself.

I reached out to you back in June when the CMPD announced they had identified Mundy, whose skeleton was found at The Dunhill 35 years ago. What was it like to have such a breakthrough in a case you’ve discussed at such lengths?

Insane, because I talk about The Dunhill all the time. It’s like the one thing I want everyone to take away, or at least that’s the one thing that gets out of Charlotte that I do. People know that there’s a haunted hotel in Uptown, which is awesome by itself, but yeah, for someone to be found in the ’80s in the bottom of an elevator shaft with all that’s remaining is their bones, and then I make this Instagram account, and within five years it gets solved. That’s crazy.

The only thing that would make it better is if it turns out that Kathy Reichs did it. I wouldn’t be surprised if she writes a book about it.

You’re partnering with the Charlotte Area Paranormal Society (CAPS) for the Latta Arcade tour. How did you choose that location? Is this something you’ve been wanting to do for a while?

So what it came down to is I needed a fundraiser event because I’m raising $3,500 to restore the headstone of Charlie Houck, who was killed by a lion. I was talking to CAPS about possible things that we could do together. They do fundraisers for places like the Hugh Torance House and Rosedale where they lead the ghost-hunting portion and then someone else does the history tour themselves.

So I was like, “Well, I’ll do that for Latta Arcade,” because since the beginning of 2023 I’ve been

affiliated with the property management team, so I’ve learned a lot about the history of the building and have gotten to know a lot of the tenants. And then me being the spooky guy, it just naturally came up where I was finding every single person I talked to had a different ghost story for the building.

So with that and renovations coming up soon for the building, I was like, “The history of this place needs to be on paper soon.” So taking the opportunity to, one, share the history; two, share the ghost stories; and three, raise money for this thing I’m trying to raise money for. It all kind of just fell together.

Do you have any teasers of what you’ve come across?

The building has been operating since 1914 and it’s been continuously operating, so a lot of history is in its bones. One of the tenants is Arcade Men’s Room, and they’ve been open the entire time. They’ve been open for 108 years nonstop; World War I, World War II, all the other ones, COVID has not

killed them. So I think that’s a pretty big deal.

But talking with all the tenants, the main thing people are saying is that they will always hear footsteps when they know they’re alone. I don’t think it’s a bad vibe necessarily. I was looking for people who died in there and I haven’t found any. So the stories are just affiliated with this long history of people being there. And with my personal beliefs about what ghosts are, they’ve imprinted their own energy on it. You’ll still find tenants there today who have been working there for 30 years, 40 years, decades of their entire lives have been at this place. There’s been kids of shop owners who have grown up in here and now work here.

Has Latta Arcade been investigated? Is this something CAPS has ever done?

No, no one has ever investigated it, paranormalwise. So we are going to be the first group of people that are intentionally looking for ghosts in this place. And it sounds like it’s going to be pretty easy. (laughs)

PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN

JASON TAPP INSIDE LATTA ARCADE, WHICH OPENED IN 1914.

As far as the project that inspired this tour, why Charlie Houck? What got you so into this story?

He was killed by a lion in Charlotte, which is by itself a story. The story is he was a circus trainer, so you can put one and one together how he died, but there’s this headstone in Elmwood Cemetery that says “Charlie Houck, Killed by a Lion,” and it’s already broken; it’s broken into pieces leaning up against a chain-link fence right now. So if it gets worse, if someone walks away with it, then it’s just gone, and if the headstone is not there, then the story kind of just stops.

So now that I know about it and I saw it when it was upright and now that I’m seeing it on the ground, I’m like, “Shoot, I may have the ability to get this fixed,” so now I have to do it.

But the story itself is great and it’s been really fun getting involved with it. There’s the Voices from the Past event that [the Mecklenburg Historical Association] puts together in Elmwood where they have people acting out the person who has died at their headstone and they’re talking to crowds,

saying like, “My name is Charlie Houck. I was killed by a lion,” then explaining the history and stuff. People get to see the headstone, hear the story and know that piece of Charlotte history. So I myself was Charlie this year, which was just a cool thing to be a part of. I’ve never done anything like that.

Is there a way for folks to support your Charlie Houck project?

Elmwood Cemetery has created their own angel donor program where any headstone that’s broken you can donate specifically to have it fixed. So I don’t need a GoFundMe or anything. I’m directing people directly to Elmwood to make their donations for it. It’s at my website at spookyclt.com. If you’ve ever complained about Charlotte not having history this is a very small thing you can do.

Visit qcnerve.com for a full-length version of this interview that goes deeper into Charlotte’s haunted history.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN THE SECOND FLOOR OF LATTA ARCADE.

BURN BRIGHTLY

Roman Candles go from a lit fuse to ignition

BY PAT MORAN

The bright bubbling synthesizer evokes New York City’s Danceteria, the fabled 1980s nightclub where Wham!, R.E.M. and Sonic Youth rubbed shoulders amid flashing neon lights. Justin Kent’s spiky shards of R&B guitar merge with Daniel Jackson’s booming drums and Rodney Wallin’s pulsing bass.

The band lets the roiling groove breathe and build. It becomes a launching pad for Grey Revell’s soaring vulnerable vocals.

“I was born in stereo/ The rhythm in my head/ Rises from the dark/ It paints the city blue and red/ It wakes the dead man sleeping in my bed...”

“[It’s an] epic electro post-punk groove,” Revell says of the band’s latest single “Purple Nights.”

“Think Giorgio Moroder producing The Climax Blues Band with help from A Certain Ratio.”

Tactile and visceral, the tune plays as mission statement and raison d’être, with Revell revealing how music chose these four men to spark and soar as Roman Candles.

Revell breaks this driving force down to basics: He makes music so he can hang out with his bandmates.

“These guys keep me sane,” he says. “They keep me social; they keep me out of my house — most of the time.”

“I’m here for the camaraderie and the creative expression,” Kent says. “I care and focus on the process, and hanging out with these guys and creating something together.”

“I love the guys, and I love making music with them,” Wallin says. “I’m proud of everything we’ve done.”

“If there are people out there that would enjoy [our music], we want to find them,” Jackson says. “We want to connect with them.”

“Purple Nights” drops in October — Friday the 13th to be exact — before debuting live at Starlight on 22nd on Oct. 14. (I’m hearing the tune in rough demo form, still waiting for producer Boo English to sprinkle it with his signature aural shading.)

The song is part of an experimental release schedule the band is conducting. Instead of recording and compiling tunes for an album release in perhaps

a year’s time, Roman Candles is concentrating on a string of singles, one released every three months. Garage rock-inspired barn burner “Death Follows the Big Moon” dropped in March, followed by the similarly incendiary “Radium Girl” in July. January is slated for the band’s sprawling masterwork “Jesus Was an Astronaut.”

“It’s a ballad about the end of 20th Century, the Heaven’s Gate cult, MTV and all the things we’ve lost,” Revell offers.

Taken alone, any one of these tunes could be called a departure for the veteran rock band perhaps best known for its America-tinged “Return of Red Cat.” Considered together, however, Roman Candles’ recent string of stylistically diverse singles documents an ongoing evolution.

Each tune embodies a radically different musical approach, yet they are also recognizably the work of the same band, concise in construction but expansive in vision.

Regardless of genre, Roman Candles consistently deliver supple bass grooves, precise yet swinging percussion, guitars that shift from architectural chords to experimental explorations and vocals that are flawless in execution while retaining immediacy. Plus, all these songs rock.

All of this brings me to a quandary. I’ve been in touch with Revell for a decade, and I know the band members well enough to call each a friend. I strive to maintain a critical distance, but I can’t help thinking that Roman Candles is among the best rock bands in Charlotte, with exquisitely crafted, viscerally satisfying songs.

“We’re all coming together with these germs of ideas and turning them into these interesting songs,” Revell says. “We’re just getting better and better at it. I don’t see anyone else consistently hitting it that hard, that fast.”

Anti-folk and Buddhist rock

I first met Revell at a long-shuttered Malaysian restaurant in a since-demolished building. A song he had written and recorded in 2000, 13 years before our

meeting, had resurfaced, bringing Revell international notoriety and a decent amount of money.

With its spare vocals and acoustic guitar arrangement, “Gone Gone” imagines the end of the world with bittersweet acceptance, encapsulating the wheel of life with all its uncertainty. The tune recalls the Buddhist koans that Revell is fond of recounting.

Utilized in Zen to prompt questions, a koan strips a parable or dialog to haiku-like bare bones. Many of Revell’s lyrics are koan-like in their ability to evoke multiple meanings.

In songs like “Gone Gone” and the Ennio Morricone-influenced widescreen spaghetti western cautionary tale “I Don’t Leave Friends in Darkened Houses,” profundity seems almost in your grasp yet tantalizingly out of reach.

Now “Gone Gone” had gone global, at least in Spanish-speaking countries, licensed for a South America Hewlett-Packard television campaign. Revell would use some of HP’s royalty payments to finance a solo tour of Argentina before returning to Charlotte, ready to start the next chapter of his life.

Even before all that, Revell had experienced a full life, encountering artistic challenges as well as a few disasters.

“As a kid, music came easy to me,” Revell says. “I could always carry a tune.”

Raised in the Los Angeles bedroom community of Corvina, Revell decamped for New York City at the age of 18. There he found community and encouragement with the city’s anti-folk scene, a group of punk rock-

inspired artists including Beck, Regina Spektor and Kimya Dawson of The Moldy Peaches.

“Anti-folk was a lower east side Manhattan songwriter scene that … started as a reaction to West Village folk musicians,” Revell says. “It evolved into this artist-friendly, indie research-anddevelopment wing of music.”

Revell benefited from that R&D, recording and releasing three solo albums in two years. The records — Midnight Eye (1999), Crazy Like an Ambush (1999) and The Green Train (2000) — dignaled Revell’s growth in the tumultuous anti-folk scene.

“I group all those records together now,” Revell says. “It was a two-year sprint to catch up and be taken seriously as a songwriter.”

In the wake of 9/11, Revell and his family left New York and eventually settled in New Orleans. There he recorded Little Animals, an atmospheric and ominous snapshot of the Crescent City. Finishing the album just as Katrina struck, Revell relocated to Charlotte in 2007 just as his marriage fell apart.

Revell kept active in Charlotte’s music scene, contributing his playing and production skills to local groups like Sinners & Saints and Zoe Vette & the Revolvers. While writing and recording The Revolvers’ debut LP, B.C. Radio, Revell met Jackson.

Growing up in Mobile, Alabama, Jackson says he got “fully indoctrinated” by MTV. Like Revell, he says music came naturally to him. In college, Jackson joined some school friends in the band Bowl of Soul, serving as singer. As time wore on, he grew

ROMAN CANDLES AT RIVER ROOM RECORDING STUDIO.

PHOTO BY BETH WALLIN

MUSIC FEATURE

more interested in keeping the beat than being a frontman. When the band broke up, Jackson traded the band’s P.A. for a drum set. Jackson gigged in Birmingham, Alabama, before moving to Charlotte and playing with the Revolvers.

Having occasionally played guitar with Roman Candles in the past, Vette transitioned and is now trans man Zoen McLachlan, who went on to study anthropology, graduate from Florida State University and is now working on a PhD.

“I’ve traded music for teaching,” he told Queen City Nerve.

For a year, Revell lived at a Belmont home owned by his friend Scott Parry. The house also served as Impermanence Studio where the group practiced and recorded early singles and EPs.

“Scott Parry is a friend and ally to creators,” Revell says.

The group was a three-piece comprised of Revell, Jackson and bassist Liz Burns. Billed as Grey Revell’s Roman Candles, the band played his songs. (Parry played keyboards in an early lineup of the band.)

In 2013, Roman Candles decided to shoot a video for the band’s rendition of the title track for Crazy Like an Ambush. Burns couldn’t make it so the band called on bassist Wallin.

Wallin had picked up a bass at Tennessee State University, and didn’t pick it up again for 22 years. At age 40, he took lessons from a friend and stepped into his first ever professional gig with covers band Big Hand Dave. He says he felt honored when Roman Candles called and offered the video gig.

“I’ve been blessed from that point forward to play with some very patient and talented musicians,” Wallin says.

A final addition to this lineup of Roman Candles was Florida-based keyboardist Matt Stache, who joined at the start of the band’s next artistic endeavor. Spending 2014 writing and recording one song per month, the band produced three sets of Happy Infinite EPs, volumes 1 through 3.

A stand out tune from the EPs is brisk metaphysical art rocker “Blake,” a paean to the English poet and philosopher. Here Revell’s soaring vocals wind around Stache’s sugar-rush synths, Wallin’s chunky bass and Jackson’s skittering beats.

“It’s an upbeat rock tune about a crazy metaphysical British guy,” Revell says “I always call The Happy Infinite Buddhist rock. If you put all the songs together, it’s a weird journey to enlightenment.”

A commitment to collaborate

The band released one last single, “Pull Down the Moon,” before going on hiatus in 2015. By the time they regrouped in 2020, Kent had joined.

Growing up in New Mexico Beach in the Florida panhandle, Kent reluctantly picked up a Stratocaster guitar at his father’s urging. Once he started playing, Kent couldn’t put the guitar down.

After touring with high-energy pop-punk band Convicted, Kent moved to Charlotte. Meeting Jackson through Jackson’s then-wife, Kent began playing with Revell and Jackson and McLachlan in Loving the Alien, a David Bowie tribute band formed in the wake of Bowie’s death in 2016.

“We played three shows, but Zoen moved to Asheville, and then I found myself in Roman Candles,” Kent says.

Though the band jokes that Kent is “the session musician who stayed,” Revell points out that Kent wrote 85% of the music on the band’s 2020 LP Proximo.

“Justin really turned that screw,” Revell says. “He came in with a bunch of musical ideas that were great. That was the pivot, when [Roman Candles] stopped being a thing [where] I bring songs and everyone puts their parts on them. It became more of a collaborative thing.”

That difference is apparent in the contrast between Proximo and the band’s 2021 follow-up LP The City is Closed.

Where the former is bold and cinematic with lashings of glam and progressive rock, the latter is direct, with more rock, roots and country. If Proximo is melodrama, The City is Closed is a slice-of-life drama.

“

The City is Closed is an attempt to tighten up the songwriting and make it a little punchier,” Revell says.

“It’s when we switched to ‘Let’s sing more. Let’s do more harmonies.’” says Kent.

The more direct approach may have aliened Matt Stache. The band’s keyboardist grew increasingly distant from the rest of the crew, subsequently striking out on his own to be a popular TikTok content provider.

“Sitting in a room with four dudes, subsuming yourself and creating something with other people, that’s not something everyone can do,” Revell says.

“It is collaborative art,” Kent says. “Everyone brings their own expression to it, [but] it morphs into something different.”

After The City is Closed, Roman Candles’ focus on collaboration came to the fore. “Radium Girl” started with a riff and chorus devised by Kent.

Thinking about the 1920s radium girls, female factory workers who contracted radiation poisoning from painting watch dials with luminous paint, Revell wrote verses for a protest “power to the workers” anthem.

That approach was jettisoned for an interpretation that the song was about a toxic personality.

“Death Follows the Big Moon” went through many musical changes until Revell remembered a dream he had.

“I was watching TV [in the dream] and The Pixies were on,” Revell remembers. “Frank Black was singing, ‘Death!’ and Kim Deal was in the back singing, ‘Follows the big moon!’”

The energetic garage rocker will be succeeded by the nocturnal electro boogie of “Purple Nights.”

Then January sees the release of “Jesus was an Astronaut.” The song is distinguished by lyrics written primarily by Jackson, who was inspired by a documentary on American religious cult Heaven’ Gate.

In 1997, 39 members of the group committed suicide at a suburban San Diego home, because they thought the coming of the Hale–Bopp comet would close a gate to heaven, damning them to life on earth.

“I was taken by this guy that self-exiled from the

group because he could not stop masturbating to MTV videos,” Jackson says. “He still regrets leaving [and missing] the mass suicide. They were trying to be not human anymore. They wanted to evolve. This guy couldn’t do it — and he survived!”

The music accompanying this relevant concept is a whirlwind, prompted by a glam-rock chord progression that goes to back to work the band members did on Zoe Vette and the Revolvers’ B.C. Radio

Jackson says the group’s devotion to music holds the members together, more so than any dreams of commercial or critical success.

“Everyone’s in this group because we have a tremendous amount of camaraderie and respect for one another,” Revell say. “The music reflects that.”

“This is by far the most creative and productive unit of friends that I’ve ever been with,” Wallin says. “I don’t think it could ever be replicated.”

“The next two songs that we’re going to put out are easily the best songs we’ve ever done,” Revell says. “Pound for pound what we’re doing right now, I don’t know any other rock band in Charlotte that even comes close. That’s how it feels to me.”

Biases aside, I can’t help but agree.

PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 4

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Cayucas w/ Walker Lukens (Neighborhood Theatre)

Tee Vee Repairmann w/ 1-800-Mikey, Mutant Strain, Paint Fumes, Infirmary (Snug Harbor)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Black Legacy Project (Evening Muse)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Annie Haden (Goldie’s)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Gondwana (Visulite Theatre)

OPEN MIC

Singer/Songwriter Open Mic (The Rooster)

Variety Open Mic (Starlight on 22nd)

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 5

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

TesseracT (The Underground)

Austin & The Powers w/ Ravine, ET (Petra’s)

The Backfires w/ Cry Baby, Tennis Courts (Snug Harbor)

Aqualads (Tommy’s Pub)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

NC Bluegrass Jam Night (Birdsong Brewing)

Dem Sedgefield Boys w/ Josh Daniel (Goldie’s)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Paul Lover’s Influencers & Originals (Comet Grill)

JAZZ/BLUES

Felix Pastorious Trio (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Brendan Abernathy w/ Tinayeshe (Evening Muse)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

TAN (Booth Playhouse)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Shana Blake’s Musical Menagerie (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

Neighbor w/ Electro Lust (Visulite Theatre)

GOSPEL/CHRISTIAN/RELIGIOUS

Kings Kaleidoscope (Neighborhood Theatre)

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 6

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill)

Arcy Drive w/ hey, nothing (Eveing Muse)

Brook Pridemore w/ Matthew Corrao, Joe McGovern (Evening Muse)

The Aces (The Underground)

Quarters of Change w/ Rebounder (Neighborhood Theatre)

The Turnstiles (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

Couch w/ Alisa Amador (Visulite Theatre)

Anchor Detail w/ The Local Odyssey, The Shimmer

Dimes (Tommy’s Pub)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Carolina Down Boys (Starlight on 22nd)

JAZZ/BLUES

Joshua Redman Group feat. Gabrielle Cavassa (Booth Playhouse)

Oli Silk (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

The Collection w/ Adam Paddock (Camp North End)

The Taylor Party (The Fillmore)

Caleb Davis Band w/ Jonathan Birchfield (Goldie’s)

AL1CE w/ IIOIOIOII, Solemn Shapes, DJ Spider (The Milestone)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Baba Comandant & the Mandingo Band w/ Bravo Pueblo (Snug Harbor)

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Charlotte Symphony: Beethoven’s Eroica Symphony No. 3 (Knight Theater)

COVER BANDS

Emo Night CLT (Amos’ South End)

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 7

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The Sammies w/ The Thing With Feathers (Evening Muse)

The Devil Wears Prada w/ Fit for a King (The Fillmore)

No Anger Control w/ Dead Senate, Bog Loaf, Junk (The Milestone)

King Cackle w/ Self Made Monsters, Brandy & The Butcher, Squirt Vile (The Rooster)

Sunset Revival (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

Evergone w/ Once Below Joy, Warp Street (Starlight on 22nd)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Crown Town Getdown (Comet Grill)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

The Red Clay Strays (Amos’ Southend)

Lily Rose (Coyote Joe’s)

Luke Bryan (PNC Music Pavilion)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Zac Robins w/ Lisa De Novo Band (Goldie’s)

Wild Orchid: A Dance Night/Mixer for Women Loving Women w/ DJ Velvetine (Tommy’s Pub) Room202 (The Underground)

JAZZ BLUES

Joshua Redman Group feat. Gabrielle Cavassa (Booth Playhouse)

Four80East (Middle C Jazz)

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Charlotte Symphony: Beethoven’s Eroica Symphony

No. 3 (Knight Theater)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Scythian w/ Southside Watt (Neighborhood Theatre)

Peelander-Z w/ Dog Party, Lil Skritt (Snug Harbor)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

xtine g w/ Yer Flowers, Kadey Ballard (Petra’s)

Chris Wayne (Primal Brewery)

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 8

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Off With Their Heads w/ Dead Bars, Busy Weather (The Milestone)

JAZZ/BLUES

Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Cal Scruby (Neighborhood Theatre)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Carin Leon (Spectrum Center)

GOSPEL/CHRISTIAN/RELIGIOUS

Isaiah Bell (Middle C Jazz)

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Charlotte Symphony: Beethoven’s Eroica Symphony No. 3 (Knight Theater)

OPEN MIC

Super Sunday Open Mic (Starlight on 22nd)

MONDAY, OCTOBER

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Switchfoot (Knight Theater)

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 11

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Timothy Eerie w/ Ego Death Machine, Infinitefreefall (Snug Harbor)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Travis Scott (Spectrum Center)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Mapache w/ Johnny Payne (Evening Muse)

Scott Mulvahill w/ Zack Heckendorf (Neighborhood Theatre)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Jay Hoff (Goldie’s)

GOSPEL/CHRISTIAN/RELIGIOUS

CeCe Winans (Bojangles Coliseum)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Shindig! A Night of 50’s & 60’s Music w/ Cory Wigg & Robin Knudsen (Tommy’s Pub)

OPEN MIC

Singer/Songwriter Open Mic (The Rooster)

Variety Open Mic feat. Dan Radin (Starlight on 22nd)

COVER BANDS

Landslide (Fleetwood Mac tribute) (Middle C Jazz)

9

Rothschild w/ Honey Creek, The Ruff’tons, Home for the Day (The Milestone)

JAZZ/BLUES

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Charlotte Bluegrass Mondays (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

OPEN MIC

Find Your Muse Open Mic feat. Curtis Eller (Evening Muse)

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 10

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

San Pedro w/ XBound, Carolina Beer Money (The Milestone)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Jason Jet w/ Ke’Andra (Evening Muse)

Kiana Ledé (The Underground)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Johnnyswim (The Fillmore)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Red Rocking Chair (Comet Grill)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night feat. The Smokin J’s (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

COVER BANDS

Eternally Grateful (Goldie’s)

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 12

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Empathy Test w/ Nite, 30 Year Sick (The Milestone)

Superchunk w/ Sluice (Neighborhood Theatre)

Chevelle w/ Three Days Grace (Skyla Amphitheatre)

JAZZ/BLUES

Mark White (Middle C Jazz)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Pluto 4 Planet w/ Rod Fisk (Goldie’s)

Shana Blake’s Musical Menagerie (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

JAWNY w/ Adan Diaz (The Underground)

What’s Your Favorite Scary Movie Costume & Dance Party (Snug Harbor)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Daniel Champagne (Evening Muse)

Haunted Like Human (The Rooster)

Patrick Crouch w/ Kay Bob (Comet Grill)

GOSPEL/CHRISTIAN/RELIGIOUS

Kirk Franklin w/ Tye Tribbett, David & Tamela Mann, The Clark Sisters, Israel Houghton (Spectrum Center)

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 13

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Blackwater Drowning w/ Redefind, Dying Oath, Fractured Frames, Cronic Disorder (Amos’ Southend)

It’s Snakes w/ Petrov (Camp North End)

Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill)

The Mammoths w/ Vintage Pistol (Evening Muse)

Sarah Shook & the Disarmers w/ Kym Register & Meltdown Rodeo, Withdrew (Snug Harbor)

JAZZ/BLUES

The Last Minute Blues Band (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

St. Paul and The Broken Bones w/ Y La Bamba (Knight Theater)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

George Birge (Coyote Joe’s)

Ryan Trotti Band w/ Matt Stratford (Goldie’s)

Dan Rodriguez w/ Noah Guthrie (Neighborhood Theatre)

Rachel Pinson w/ Southern Soul (The Rooster)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Emo Nite (The Underground)

Ape Audio Blackbox Fest After Party (Starlight on 22nd)

Reflexions: Goth Dance Party w/ DJ Velvetine (Tommy’s Pub)

COVER BANDS

September in the Park (Earth, Wind, and Fire tribute) (Middle C Jazz)

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 14

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Semler (Stage Door Theater)

The Pintos (Comet Grill)

Thrice (The Underground)

Krooked Kings w/ Early Eyes (Neighborhood Theatre)

Stormwatchers w/ Leaving Echoes, Neon Deaths (Petra’s)

City Dirt (Primal Brewery)

Junior Astronomers w/ Clearbody, Tai Popple, Te’Jani (Snug Harbor)

Roman Candles w/ Apostate, Jem Crossland & the Hypertonics (Starlight on 22nd)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Ras Kass (The Rooster)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

The Lighthouse & The Whaler w/ Pretty Crimes (Evening Muse)

Warren Zeiders (The Fillmore)

JAZZ/BLUES

Willie Bradley (Middle C Jazz)

The Tyler Neal Band (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Purgatory Undead (Amos’ Southend)

Jonah Kagen w/ Dylan Rockoff (Evening Muse)

Digital Noir w/ DJ Spider (The Milestone)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Tosco Music Party (Knight Theater)

COVER BANDS

Vinyl Live w/ Kyle Cummings (Goldie’s)

The Mad Hatters (Tom Petty tribute) (Visulite Theatre)

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 15

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Pile w/ Prewn, Patois Counselors, The Mother Superior (The Milestone)

TR3 feat. Tim Reynolds (Neighborhood Theatre)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Ryan Trotti (Goldie’s)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Southall (The Underground)

JAZZ/BLUES

Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill)

David Stevens (Middle C Jazz)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Manuel Turizo (Ovens Auditorium)

OPEN MIC

Super Sunday Open Mic (Starlight on 22nd)

COVER BANDS

The Sound of (Black) Music (Knight Theater)

MONDAY, OCTOBER 16

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Cronies w/ Blankstate., Swae, Momophobia (The Milestone)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Nick Shoulders & the Okay Crawdad (Neighborhood Theatre)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Charlotte Bluegrass Mondays (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Rawayana (The Underground)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Curse Mackey w/ I Speak Machine, SINE (Snug Harbor)

OPEN MIC

Find Your Muse Open Mic feat. Thunder & Rain (Evening Muse)

Open Jam feat. David Musiclover Gibson (Tommy’s Pub)

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 17

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Cradle of Filth with DevilDriver (The Underground)

Band of Horses (The Fillmore)

Aerosmith (Spectrum Center)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Cody Canada & the Departed (Amos’ Southend)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Gus Dapperton (Neighborhood Theatre)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Red Rocking Chair (Comet Grill)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Ryan Bumgarner (Goldie’s)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night feat. The Smokin J’s (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

VISIT QCNERVE.COM FOR THE FULL SOUNDWAVE LISTING.

LATE NIGHT BITES

Brewton’s Cafe fills a void in the local food scene

BY RYAN PITKIN

Growing up in north Charlotte’s Double Oaks neighborhood, Chef Brandon Brewton was around food all the time. But there were no culinary professionals in his family, only community leaders.

On Tuesday and Wednesdays each week, Brewton would help his grandmother, Pastor Barbara Brewton-Cameron, serve thousands of meals to neighbors in need, be they unhoused or folks who just needed a bite to eat. Brewton-Cameron launched Community Outreach Christian Ministries in the early 1990s. It became the focal point from which she worked to clean up the crime-ridden neighborhood where her husband was shot and killed while walking home from work one night. The church also served as a food pantry, which is where Brandon Brewton first learned how food plays a role in building community.

“Growing up seeing that, you see a lot of different walks of life and you begin to appreciate all people and you build a sense of compassion that’s unmatched just for people,” he said.

“Sometimes I overextend myself and help people that maybe I shouldn’t be helping and it will burn you a little bit, but it’s just in me, you know what I mean?” he continued, laughing. “That’s just one of those things that I just grew up seeing; always give, always try to help somebody else. It ain’t all about yourself.”

I met with Brandon on Brewton Drive, named in honor of his grandmother. We sat outside Brewton’s Cafe, his small takeout kitchen where every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night he serves a long line of late-night customers, remaining open until 4 a.m. on Sunday mornings in a city without many late-night options.

Located next to his grandmother’s old church, now the Barbara Brewton Hope For Harvest Youth Center, Brandon keeps tradition alive by serving his community and keeping a presence on the street where his family has already built such a strong legacy.

In the kitchen

As a younger man, Brandon Brewton never imagined that a culinary life was in the cards for him. After high school, he attended North Carolina Central University in Durham, but quickly decided it wasn’t for him.

He moved to Atlanta, where he worked for some time at the since-closed Food 101. He didn’t think of the restaurant industry as a career path, however, just one of his three jobs alongside Starbucks and a local car wash.

One day he was voicing his frustration with his life’s lack of direction to his cousin Jarvis, who suggested culinary school.

“He was like, ‘Hey, man, why don’t you sign up for school? You’re always cooking. You love it. Why don’t you just do that?’” Brewton recalled. “At that time, I didn’t know you could even really make money cooking, because I’ve only seen people cooking for the homeless.”

The very next day after that conversation he applied to attend Le Cordon Bleu College of Culinary Arts in Atlanta.

“From there, man, it was from the ground up,” he said.

Always the proactive type, Brewton took a bit of a shortcut in launching his first catering business — taking a client before the business even existed.

He had been in school for a year when he came across a woman at a gas station who was complaining that she needed a caterer for a wedding after hers had pulled out.

“I was like, man, I know I want to do a catering business. I ain’t got nothing to do it with, but I went up to her and said, ‘Yeah, I’m a caterer, ma’am.’ And she was like, ‘Oh yeah? Let me get one of your cards.’

“I said, ‘You know what? I ran out of cards. But when I get home, I’ll make sure I send you something over.’ So I went home and came up with the name of the business.”

And that’s how Blessed Hands Meals was born.

PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN

BRANDON BREWTON IN THE KITCHEN.

PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN BREWTON’S HOT HONEY CHICKEN SANDWICH

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

Back to Brewton Drive

Brewton built up his skills doing catering and running a successful meal-prep business in Atlanta. He met Jasmine Velda during a trip home to Charlotte. The two began seeing each other, and eventually she became pregnant, inspiring Brewton to move back to the Queen City. He found himself back at the church where his grandmother, who passed away in 2008, had built a legacy.

By then, his aunt Catherine Brewton had launched the Hope for Harvest Youth Center at the property.

“I came back and helped here, helped them get stuff together, because I just know this building inside and out,” he said. “My aunt lives in Atlanta, so I would be basically her feet on the ground and just get this building back to where it needed to be. And then I said, ‘Man, I got to get back to cooking because this ain’t it.’”

He relaunched his catering and meal-prep venture, seeing plenty of success.

Meal prepping was all the rage at this time, around 2017, and it was keeping him afloat, but the schedule proved too demanding.

“Once I found out I was about to have a baby, I started to think about my time,” he said. “[With meal prepping] you’ve got to have it at the [client’s] house at this time. I got to deliver over here, deliver over here. She might be getting sick, you know what I mean? So it was just a lot to handle.”

He opened Brewton’s Cafe as a way to supplement his income and step back from the meal prepping. His first year at the cafe was hard going.

“It took me a while,” he said. “I was here in Charlotte trying to figure out cooking, opening up the restaurant, nobody here, you know what I mean? You go through that time where you open it up and you got people saying it’s good but the word ain’t getting out.”

Once they got through the pregnancy together, Brewton was able to take catering gigs in cities like

Atlanta and Las Vegas, helped along by a network of friends and fellow chefs like Chef Emili “Milly” Medley, a two-time Hell’s Kitchen contestant who worked in Philadelphia at the time.

The jobs paid well and helped him get through the period when Brewton’s Cafe was yet to take off.

“Thank God for the friends I met,” Brewton said. “They kept me busy where I wasn’t just dead in the water. So anytime it slowed here, I just kind of went on the road and worked.”

Going viral

Brewton continued splitting his time between the road and Brewton’s Cafe until 2020, when the COVID

that began to build buzz around the neighborhood and then the city.

“My first wave was word of mouth, because I was like, ‘I ain’t doing any promotion.’ I didn’t have really any money to market it, so it was just word of mouth — telling this person, that person, this person. Facebook was good for me. And then, of course, Corey came, and after that, it took off.”

He’s referring to Cory Wilkins, a local food influencer who runs the popular Daily Special CLT food blog and social media channels, as well as the Black Guys Cook YouTube channel.

Wilkins highlighted Brewton’s Cafe, trying the crab fries, spicy honey mustard wings, hot honey

over the place,” he said, laughing. “I kind of just do things that I like … I love Asian. That’s one of my biggest passions, Asian food. So I try to find a way to incorporate it in there somewhere.”

“Just imagine you’re drunk and you have lo mein at night,” added Delva. “It’s soaking up all of the alcohol. It’s a perfect eat.”

That late-night, after-the-bars-close schedule was another aspect of the business inspired by Brewton’s catering travels.

“I got that from Philly and Vegas; they never closed,” Brewton explained. “I’m like, ‘This is the move.’ We was out 2, 3 in the morning. We might have just gotten done with a job and we can go eat.

Not no McDonald’s or Waffle House; we can go eat a real meal and they’re open all night. I’m like, ‘Man, Charlotte ain’t got this.’”

The couple say they’ve seen plenty of impersonators pop up since they became popular.

“We started that,” said Velda. “Originally we were the ones open up until 4 a.m. People were like, ‘Y’all are crazy,’ and we was like, ‘No, watch.’

“And sure enough, they saw people that were still out and wanted food, and they just started to open up late. We definitely started a trend.”

The waits can get up to two hours early in the morning, something Brewton couldn’t have imagined back when he was struggling to get people to come to the humble takeout spot.

pandemic struck. While Brewton acknowledges the awful effects of COVID on the population as a whole, he can’t deny that business boomed for him during that time.

It makes sense; people were looking for outdoor spaces like the one Brewton’s provides, with its walk-up window, six outdoor tables and yard games to keep folks busy while they wait.

Inspired by what he had learned during catering trips, Brewton began to play with the menu, which rotates every two weeks.

The oxtail Rasta pasta was the first menu item

chicken sandwich (a fan favorite), and crab-stuffed salmon alfredo.

Delva — who had been helping in the Brewton’s Cafe kitchen, baking desserts and working alongside the shoestring staff of one to two people — made the strawberry cake that went viral in Wilkins’ Blackguyscook TikTok post.

It’s been a huge hit since.

Another popular menu item as of late has been the lo mein, which Brewton has been working into a number of different dishes.

“People always talking about the menu’s all

Throughout the success, however, he has remained true to his family legacy, feeding the children at the Barbara Brewton Hope For Harvest Youth Center summer camp next door for every scheduled meal or snack.

For him, it’s one way to continue on in his grandmother’s footsteps.

“Just to know that I’m able to have some piece of what my grandmother started, you know what I mean, and it becomes somewhat successful, I’m happy,” Brewton said. “It’s special to me.” RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM

PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN BREWTON WITH JASMINE VELDA AND THEIR SON OUTSIDE OF BREWTON’S CAFE.

LIFESTYLE PUZZLES

SUDOKU

BY LINDA THISTLE

TRIVIA TEST

BY FIFI RODRIGUEZ

1. TELEVISION: How many noble houses are mentioned in “Game of Thrones”?

2. MOVIES: What is the name of the high school in the musical film “Grease”?

3. GEOGRAPHY: Which southeast Asian country’s monetary unit is the ringgit?

4. MUSIC: The song “Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin’” is from which musical?

5. U.S. PRESIDENTS: Who was the first president to be impeached?

6. ANATOMY: What is considered the “master gland” of the human body?

7. PHYSICS: What does a newton measure?

8. HISTORY: Which founding father wanted the turkey to be the national symbol of America rather than the eagle?

9. SCIENCE: What is studied in mycology?

10. U.S. STATES: What is Alaska’s state animal?

CROSSWORD

PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE.

THE SEEKER A SPIRITED STAYCATION

Oktoberfest and spooky season coincide in Uptown

BY KATIE GRANT

While traditional bachelorette party plans may revolve around wine tastings, spa weekends, and barhopping escapades, why not take a unique twist on this epic pre-wedding period? Picture a bewitching staycation in Charlotte, set against the backdrop of cooling weather and wind-swept streets.

Recently, I joined a bride-to-be and her bridesmaids for a girls’ weekend group accented with brewery explorations and ghost tours — the perfect adventures for an upcoming gothic Friday the 13th wedding.

Our first stop was Oktoberfest at Gilde Brewery for the perfect combination of German cuisine, beer, and weekend hangs, which brings to mind the current craft beer climate in Charlotte.

According to Charlotte Magazine’s 2023 Brewery Directory, the city currently boasts over 100 breweries, lending a double entendre to the nickname “Buzz City.” This thriving craft beer scene has given rise to an annual celebration called Charlotte Craft Beer Week, coming up later this month, Oct. 20-29.

Charlotte Craft Beer Week is an eagerly awaited annual event that highlights the diverse craft beer culture of Charlotte. Though specific details may change from year to year, here’s a general overview of what you can expect based on past celebrations: brewery tours, tap takeovers and collaborations, beer dinners, seasonal releases, beer festivals, and community giveback opportunities.

And yes, I don’t mind if I do take this opportunity to plug a community give-back opportunity hosted by the nonprofit I work for, Smart Start of Mecklenburg County. This is your invitation to join us at Free Range Brewing on Friday, Oct. 20, to learn more about our mission and how you can get involved!

Traditionally, Oktoberfest in Munich stretches across 16-18 days during September and October. But if you missed some of the festivities throughout the city last month, fear not, fellow beer lovers; Oktoberfest carries well into October.

This year, Charlotte is adding a new event to its fall calendar: Mecklenburg Oktoberfest. The festivities will take place on Saturday, Oct. 7, 2023, at Truist Field with free admission. Mecklenburg Oktoberfest combines two already-existing events: taking the popular Pink Cupcake Walk and throwing in a pumpkin patch.

If you are unfamiliar, The Pink Cupcake Walk supports local “survivors, thrivers, and fighters” who have faced off with breast cancer with a one-mile walk around the field and mini cupcakes from four bakeries. Along

with the pumpkin patch, already a fall staple from the Charlotte Knights, the celebration will include a mix of entertainment, local craft beer, shopping, live music, family activities, food and more.

The spirit of the Halloween season also lives in the walls of recognizable Charlotte buildings you may pass during your daily commute.

It’s often said that you never get to tour the city you live in, so a bachelorette party is an ideal situation to book a Haunted Booze and Boos Tour. Our first stop was the Dunhill Hotel, a historic building between art galleries and museums, replete with ghostly encounters.

The supernatural presence known as Dusty the Ghost is said to inhabit the hotel’s halls and is known to shake the elevators from time to time. This creepy tale came to life during the 1980s when renovations unveiled a human skeleton at the bottom of an elevator shaft.

We learned the skeletal remains were later identified as Oliver Doc Mundy, a World War II veteran from Mooresville who lived on the streets of Charlotte at the time of his passing. We also learned that during its first year of operation, The Dunhill Hotel proudly held a place among the city’s “largest and finest buildings,” as noted by the Charlotte Observer. Unfortunately, as one of the tallest structures in Charlotte at that time, and seeing as how the hotel opened the same year as the stock market crash of 1929, the hotel roof became a jumping-off point for suicidal locals seeking an escape from their financial woes.

Another point of interest along the tour path was Connolly’s on Fifth, where we learned staff have the occasional encounter with their resident ghost, fondly called Nelly.

Looking for a way to bring the energy back up after a tour dedicated to death, we trekked the short distance to Crave for a nightcap of hookah, fall-themed cocktails, and, of course, the delectable bourbon pecan cheesecake.

Regrettably, our whiskey cocktails titled “The Full Monty” were the only sexual encounters of that ilk we would experience during our bachelorette extravaganza. Hunk-O-Mania at Scorpio’s fell off the itinerary due to poor planning and unexpectedly sold-out shows. Who could have guessed a male revue was in such high demand? But fret not, for we had an unforgettable journey nonetheless.

Whether you’re immersed in the dynamic craft beer culture or exploring the shadowy side of the city you didn’t know existed, there are plenty of ways to celebrate the season with spirits - those you imbibe and those that spook.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Although practical situations continue to dominate this week, there’s time for the Lamb to indulge in the fun things in life, like maybe taking a special someone out for a great evening.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) This week favors relationships. Take time to renew old ones and make time to go where new friends can be found. On a more practical note, expect news about a business deal.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) You should be seeing some progress on that new workplace situation. Meanwhile, family matters might demand more attention, and you’ll want to set aside time to deal with them.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) A relationship might suddenly present some challenges you never expected. After talking things out, you might want to consider taking some time to assess what you’ve learned.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) A disappointing response to a request might dampen the Lion’s spirits, but you might want to ask the reasons behind it. What you learn can be of great importance in a future undertaking.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) A once-volatile situation should be settled by now, giving you a chance to refocus on a project you’ve been planning for. Look for an interested party to rally for support.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) A business matter that unexpectedly turns into a personal situation could create complications. Best to resolve the matter now before too much harm can be done.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Emotions can run high when they involve personal matters no one really wants to talk about. But this could be a good time to create the means to a workable outcome.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) A positive response to a workplace request could lead the way to other long-sought changes. Congratulations. A personal situation also takes a welcome turn.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Patience pays off, as that once-overwhelming work situation continues to become easier to handle on a one-by-one basis. Look for positive news from a colleague.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) It might be a good idea to take more time and reassess your next move in working out a complex situation. You could benefit from a new perspective on the matter.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) You might want to consider making time to discuss a change of plans with everyone concerned. Be prepared to explain your actions. Also be prepared to listen to alternatives.

BORN THIS WEEK: You have a strong sense of what is right, and you try to work from that foundation. Friends see you as reliable.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) An upcoming trip could create some problems with your schedule unless you tie up as many loose ends as possible before you head out the door. Ask a friend or colleague to help you.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Being eager to start a new project is fine. However, moving ahead without knowing what will actually be expected of you could cause a problem down the line. Ask some questions.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Getting through some recent challenges in good shape might give you a false sense of security. Don’t relax your guard. You need to be prepared for what else could happen.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Caution is still advised, even though you think you’re as prepared as you need to be at the moment. Keep in mind that change is in your aspect, and you should expect the unexpected.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) The Lion’s gift of persuasion helps you get your points across, even to some of your most negative naysayers in the workplace. Also, an old friend might seek you out for some advice.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Being sure of your convictions is fine, but leave some room for dissenting opinions. You might learn something that could help you avoid a possible problem later on.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Getting good legal advice on what your rights actually are is the first step toward resolving that pesky problem so that it doesn’t reemerge at a later date. Good luck.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Longtime relationships work well this week, whether they’re personal or professional. It’s also a good time to invite new friends and colleagues into your life.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) This is a good week to do the research that will help you uncover irrefutable facts for a project; this will back you up on your new venture when you most need it.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Change is an important factor in your aspect this week and could affect something you might have thought was immune to any sort of adjustment or “alteration.”

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Being asked to share someone’s deeply personal confidence might be flattering, but accepting could be unwise. Decline gracefully but firmly.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) As wise as you are, you could still be misled by someone who seems to be sincere but really isn’t. Take more time to assess the situation before making any commitments.

BORN THIS WEEK: You like to face challenges that others might try to avoid, and by doing so, you set an example of courage for all.

UPCOMING SPECIAL ISSUES

OCTOBER 18 | HALLOWEEN GUIDE

NOVEMBER 29 | BEST IN THE NEST DECEMBER 27 | NEW YEAR’S EVE GUIDE

1. Nine.

2. Rydell High School.

3. Malaysia.

4. “Oklahoma!”

5. Andrew Johnson, 1868.

6. Pituitary gland.

7. Force.

8. Benjamin Franklin.

9. Fungi.

10. The moose.

PUZZLE ANSWERS

SAVAGE LOVE THE FINISH DELEGATION

Are you done?

BY DAN SAVAGE

Cis bisexual guy here in his twenties. In the entire time I’ve been sexually active, I’ve pretty much been able to finish whenever I’d like. I’ve literally never once finished too quickly. That said, the idea of being unable to hold back my orgasm and coming too quickly has always been a big turn on for me. So much so that in more than a few past relationships/ hookups I’ve found myself inducing a premature ejaculation. Some partners are kind and supportive about it, some seem a little annoyed or bothered. Both reactions are equally hot to me! It doesn’t happen every time I have sex, and I’m always down to take care of my partner’s orgasm in other ways either before or after the penetrative sex has come to its brief conclusion.

I’m not so much worried about if my kink is normal, but is it ethical? I haven’t told any of my hookups or long-term partners this about myself and am worried that doing so might lessen the turn on. But I do feel a little guilty that I could prolong the thrusting before I get to the busting and am pretending that I can’t for my own selfish ends. Do I owe it to them to let them know?

FINISHED AND SECRETLY THRILLED

First, a pet peeve: Don’t use the passive voice when talking about things you choose to do during sex. Unless you’re having out-of-body experiences — unintentionally — and coming to right before you ejaculate, FAST, you’ve never “found” yourself coming too soon. Inducing a premature ejaculation is an active, conscious choice you’re making for your own “selfish ends” (your words); it’s something you’re choosing to do, FAST, not something that’s happening to you. So, don’t say, “It doesn’t happen every time,” instead say, “I don’t do this every time.” (A lot of us use the passive voice when we talk about sex — I’m guilty of it too — and it’s a subtle way of avoiding responsibility for our sexual choices, which is not ideal.)

Moving on…

Your question struck me as bogus, FAST, because — well into my fourth decade of writing this column — I’m suspicious of kinks I haven’t been asked about before. So, I emailed you directly, FAST, as you know, and peppered you with questions … questions you were quick to answer … and you shared details about the kind of formative experiences that sometimes leave a kink in their wake, and I came to believe you’re on the up-and-up.

So, is your kink ethical?

Well, on the one hand, you’re leading people to believe something about you that isn’t true — that you’re a premature ejaculator — because pity or contempt turns you on. (You must not have much of a refractory period if you’re this aroused after you come, but some men have refractory periods so brief they barely exist.) By choosing to bust quickly, FAST, you’re denying your new sexual partner the experience they were most likely hoping for, i.e., a nice, long, leisurely fuck, the kind of fuck you could’ve provided them. When you induce a quick orgasm, your disappointed sex partners drop everything to reassure you that it’s okay or they express their annoyance — both reactions turn you on, so you win either way.

Essentially, your tricking your sex partners into performing one of two kinds of emotional labor for you: providing you with positive attention (being kind and supportive) or providing you with negative attention (being annoyed or bothered). People who are kind will walk away feeling disappointed by the sex but feeling pretty good about themselves, as they reacted well; people who were annoyed will walk away feeling disappointed by the sex, FAST, but they might also walk away feeling disappointed in themselves, as they reacted poorly.

On the other hand, when we go to bed with someone new, we do so without guarantees about the quality or duration of the fucking we’re about to receive. And since you always make sure to get your partners off in other ways — taking your word on that — your sex partners still have a good time.

(No orgasm gap on your watch.) And if the people you’re disappointing have mostly slept with men who think sex begins with penetration and ends

when the man comes, you may have opened some of their eyes to other kinds of sexual connection and pleasure, resetting their expectations and improving subsequent sexual encounters.

What I think is more interesting — ethically and practically — is how you’re going to handle your kink in the context of a long-term relationship. If you present at the start as an insecure premature ejaculator who needs a lot of emotional support and reassurance, FAST, you’ll either have to walk that back when things start to get serious or spend the rest of your life busting a lie. If you pretend to have resolved the issue on your own (therapy, meds, practice), you’ll be denying yourself this pleasure of coming too soon going forward. If you keep the ruse up forever, you’ll be hiding an important part of who you are — sexually — from the person you most wanna share your sexual fantasies with. Of course, when you tell someone you spent the first six months disappointing them on purpose … and they spent the first six months comforting you for no reason … there’s a good chance they’ll dump you.

But if you can get through that crisis, FAST, you may be able to have your kink and an honest, open longterm relationship — with “open” being the operative word in that sentence. With your partner you can be the boyfriend or husband who lasts as long as they want (or who comes on command, which is pretty hot) and you can pretend to be the sexually inept premature ejaculator when you have threesomes. If your partner is willing to play along, FAST, they could react with kindness or contempt, depending on your preference that night, and then tell your very special guest star — right in front of you — that they’re there to give your partner the kind of long, slow fucking you obviously can’t.

You’ll be an object of pity and/or contempt in the eyes of your third, which will turn you on, and since your partner is there to take care of your third’s needs and vice-versa, no one will be deprived of anything. Everybody comes, everybody wins.

I’m a man in my mid-thirties and I feel like I’m not old enough to have the problem I do. When I first got together with my female partner a few years ago, I could last a while and it was pleasurable for both of us. Now she regularly asks me if there’s “something wrong” with what she’s doing. “Is it my body?” she asks. I try to reassure her that it’s my body. I want to last but can’t seem to these days. I tried to bring this up with my doctor to no avail. I feel foolish because in the moment I start to think, “Am I going to come yet?” Or I think I’ve lasted a while, but it wasn’t long enough for her. What can I do to last longer? I recently tried some

off-brand meds, but still no luck. I haven’t had tried much edging to help but don’t know what I’m doing there. I just want to get out of my headspace, enjoy my time with my partner, and really last. I could go for marathons in the beginning. Just not the endurance one another was hoping for these days...

SUDDENLY LASTING ORGASMS WANTING

Reading FAST’s question must’ve really pissed you off — I mean, there he is pretending to have the problem you actually have and secretly getting off on it. A real “my condition is not your costume” moment.

Anyway, there are potential treatments that could help, SLOW, from a little cognitive behavioral therapy (to figure out whether it’s a headspace issue), to some doctor-prescribed, on-brand, low-dose SSRIs (proven effective for headspace and physiological issues where premature ejaculation is concerned), to experimenting with edging — which isn’t hard to figure out, SLOW. You watch some hot porn and/or think some dirty thoughts while stroking yourself. Slowly bring yourself to the very edge of orgasm — get as close as you can to the point of orgasmic inevitability without going past it (may take some practice) — then stop before you come. Bring yourself to the edge again and again, ideally while using a well-lubricated masturbation sleeve or Fleshlight-style toy (practice with something that feels like the orifice you wanna last longer inside), and then use whatever breathing and/or concentration techniques help delay orgasm during your solo edging sessions to partnered sex.

P.S. I spent a summer getting fucked by a guy who “solved” his premature ejaculation problem — but he didn’t solve it with medications or therapy or edging sessions. He would suck my dick, eat my ass, use toys on me, edge me, get me close or desperate or both … and then replace the dildo with his dick and we would come at the same time. He never lasted more than thirty seconds once his dick was inside me, SLOW, but he was without a doubt some of the best (vanilla) sex I’ve ever had. So, learning to work with your dick — and bringing it in other ways — is one way to solve what can be most problematic about premature ejaculation: leaving your partner feeling unfulfilled.

P.P.S. Just wanna be very clear here: There are guys out there who can’t last long during penetrative sex who are great in bed and guys who can last for-fucking-ever who are terrible in bed. Confidence and a commitment to give your partner the best possible experience you can — whatever you’ve got and whatever it takes — is the real key, not endless PIV or PIB.

Send your questions to mailbox@savage.love; podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love.