Queen City Nerve - November 15, 2023

VOLUME 5, ISSUE 26; NOVEMBER 15 - NOVEMBER 28; WWW.QCNERVE.COM

News:

Small Business Saturday in Charlotte pg. 4

Music:

Chef Awo’s Eh’Vivi represents Ghana in NC pg. 14

Mason Parker launches comic book series alongside new album

By Ryan Pitkin

PAPERBACK HERO

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@Q UEEN CI T Y N ERV E W W W.Q CN ERV E.COM PUBLISHER JUSTIN LAFRANCOIS

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EDITOR - IN - CHIEF RYAN PITKIN

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DIGITAL MANAGER RAYNE ANTRIM

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STAFF WRITERS PAT MORAN

p m ora n @ q c n erve.c om ANNIE KEOUGH

a k eoug h @ q c n erve.c om ART DIRECTOR AIDEN SIOBHAN

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AD SALES EXECUTIVE RENN WILSON

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TABLE OF CONTENTS NEWS & OPINION

4 Local or Else

Take advantage of Small Business Saturday in the Charlotte area

ARTS

6 Paperback Hero by Ryan Pitkin

Mason Parker launches comic book series alongside latest album 8 Lifeline: Ten Cool Things To Do in Two Weeks

MUSIC

10 Night of the Discerning Dolls by Pat Moran The Real Dolls give goth rock a reality makeover 12 Soundwave

FOOD & DRINK

14 A Taste of Home by Dezanii Lewis

Chef Awo Amenumey shares her native cuisine with Eh’Vivi

16 Eat, Gay, Love Celebrates 5 Years

LIFESTYLE

18 Puzzles 20 Aerin It Out by Aerin Spruill 21 Horoscope 22 Savage Love Thanks to our contributors: Grant Baldwin, Aerin Spruill, Alvin C. Jacobs Jr., Mary Grace McCusick, Matthew Murphy, Jonny Golian, and Dan Savage.

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Inclusive Thanksgiving dinner built on community care

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

LOCAL GIFT SHOPS

LOCAL OR ELSE

How to take advantage of Small Business Saturday in the Charlotte area Charlotte is home to around 40,000 small businesses, accounting for 75% of Charlotte Region businesses, according to the most recent data from the US Census Bureau.

As Black Friday approaches and folks arm themselves for a shopping brawl in big box stores, small businesses around the Charlotte area are holding holiday collections and sales right in your backyard.

Small Business Saturday, an annual event started in 2010 by American Express to increase sales of small businesses around the country during the holiday shopping season, is on Nov. 25, the day after Black Friday.

Put off holiday shopping one more day and take the opportunity to support small, local businesses this holiday season. We’ve compiled a list of pop-up shopping events that will feature local vendors on and around Small Business Saturday, followed by a list of local gift shops where you might pick up the perfect gift on your own time.

HOLIDAY MARKETS Charlotte Regional Farmers Market Holiday Market Nov. 18, 8 a.m.-2 p.m; 1801 Yorkmont Road; tinyurl.com/HolidayFarmersMarket

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Nov. 18, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.; 3000 N. Davidson St.; tinyurl.com/NoDaPottery

NoDaHood Holiday Market

Nov. 18, noon-5 p.m.; Divine Barrel Brewing; 3701 N. Davidson St., Suite #203; tinyurl.com/NoDaHood

Maker’s Market CLT

High Branch Sip and Shop Popup

Nov. 18, 3-8 p.m.; High Branch Brewing; 305 McGill Ave. NW, Concord; tinyurl.com/StarvingArtistMarket

Christmas Market at Olde Meck

2202 Hawkins St.; glorydaysapparel.com

South End The Cocktailery Five13 Studio 704 Shop

The Jungle CLT 224 East Blvd., Suite B; thejungleclt.business.site

1616 Camden Road; 704shop.com

Camp North End

OMJ Clothing 1930 Camden Road, Suite 125; omjclothing.com

Shop Small Saturday/Camden Road Canine Cafe Street Festival 125 Remount Road; caninecafe.net

Lost Worlds Christmas Market

2000 South Blvd., Suite 430; thecocktailery.com

1425 Winnifred St., #110; five13studio.com

Weekends from Nov. 24-Dec. 17; Olde Mecklenburg Kenna Kunijo Brewery; 4150 Yancey Road, 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; ombbeer.com 1800 Camden Road, #103; kennakunijo.com

Nov. 25, 8 a.m.-3 p.m.; Atherton Mill Rail Trail & Camden Road; southendclt.org/events/shop-small-saturday

Glory Days Apparel

Cowbridge Furniture 228 Fairwood Ave.; cowbridgefurniture.com

DUPP&SWAT 1824 Statesville Ave., Suite 105; duppandswat.com

Good Postage 1824 Statesville Ave.; goodpostage.com

GROW

270 Camp Road; growcharlotte.com Shop from GROW’s affordable, curated house plant collection, grab some pottery or browse through the shop’s selection of botanical literature and cookbooks

Nov. 25, 11 a.m.-4 p.m.; Lost Worlds Brewing; 19700-D One Norman Blvd., Cornelius; The Brown Sugar Collab Lokal tinyurl.com/LostWorldsMarket 1425 Winnifred St., #113; brownsugarcollab.com Support this minority-owned business by perusing their 330 Camp Road, Suite A; lokalorelse.com Maker’s Market at Heist Brewery and ethical and sustainable assortment of handcrafted bath, body, hair, skincare and home products from 20 BIPOC That’s Novel Books Barrel Art women suppliers Nov. 25 & Dec. 9, 1-5 p.m.; Heist Brewery and Barrel Arts; 330 Camp Rd Suite B; thatsnovelbooks.com 1030 Woodward Ave.; tinyurl.com/MakersMarketHeist

Hot Stuff Holiday Market

Nov. 26, 11 a.m.-5 p.m.; Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave.; facebook.com/hotstuffmarketclt

Front Lawn Friday + Winter Art Market at McColl Center Dec. 1, 6-9 p.m.; McColl Center for Art + Innovation; 721 N. Tryon St.; mccollcenter.org

Clayworks Holiday Sale and Open House

Dec. 1-2, times vary; Clayworks; 4506 Monroe Road; clayworksinc.org

Nov. 18 & Dec. 16, 1 p.m.-5 p.m.; NoDa Brewing Company, 2921 N. Tryon St.; tinyurl.com/MakersMarketCLT HOT STUFF HOLIDAY MARKET AT PETRA’S

PHOTO COURTESY OF PETRA’S

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE

Archive CLT

2023 Beatties Ford Rod, Suite D; archiveclt.comLocated in the historically Black area of the Beatties Ford Road corridor, Archive CLT marries collectable Black memorabilia (photos, papers, letters) and coffee to connect customers across generations. Buy a bag of house coffee, some Archive merch, or a book.

Windy O’Connor Art & Home 1701 N Graham St., Suite 107; windyoconnor.com

NoDa/Optimist Park

Paper Skyscraper

Paradisio Plant Shop

330 East Blvd.; paperskyscraper.com

Optimist Hall, 1115 N. Brevard St.; Insta: @paradiso.plantshop

The Secret Chocolatier

OldNews Vintage

2935 Providence Road, #104; thesecretchocolatier.com

3225 N. Davidson St.; Insta: @oldnewsvtg CAMDEN ROAD STREET FESTIVAL

Last Place on Earth

Elizabeth

PHOTO COURTESY OF HISTORIC SOUTH END

Miscellaneous Locations

Happy Kat Candles & Gifts 6801 Northlake Mall Drive; happykatcandles.com

5655 North Tryon St.; lpoecharlotte.com

Curio, Craft & Conjure

The Bag Lady: Intuitive Gifts 1516 E. 4th St.; the-bag-lady.biz/index.html

3623 Latrobe Drive, Unit 130; f4milymatters.com

Black Sheep Skate Shop

Book Buyers

3204-C N Davidson St.; curiocharlotte.com

The Exchange at 36th 451 E 36th St.; theexchangeat36th.com

830 Lamar Ave.; blacksheepskateshop.com 3040 Eastway Drive, Suite B; bookbuyerscharlotte.com A one-stop-shop for all skater needs: skateboards, footwear and apparel from brands like Dickies, Carhartt, Gear Goat XCHG Nike, New Balance and more

I’ve Read It In Books/Stash Pad/Milk The Cactus Club Money Vintage

2902 N. Davidson St.; Insta: @readitinbooks; @stashpad; @ 909 Central Ave., Suite 1; itsthecactusclub.com milkmoneyvintage_ Find three separate local retailers that all have something to offer sharing the Black house with the big rainbow flag The Collective Good on North Davidson Street.

920 Charlottetowne Ave.; collectivegoodcharlotte.com

Pura Vida Worldly Art

3202 N. Davidson St., Suite A; puravidaworldlyart.shop

Plaza Midwood/Belmont/Elizabeth

1512 Central Ave.; facebook.com/cltch

Moxie Mercantile 2008 Commonwealth Ave.; moxiemercantile.com

The Culture Shop

3038 Eastway Drive; geargoatx.com

Poole Shop 4010 Sharon Road; pooleshopcharlotte.com

Davidson Provision Company

116 S Main St., Unit A, Davidson; davproco.com If you’re more interested in the newest products, DavProCo outdoor clothing and equipment can hold you over. Tucked into the charming town of Davidson, you can support this local shop by grabbing a pair of sunglasses, headwear, footwear or other outdoorsy-type things

Knotty & Board Interiors

265 S Main St., Davidson; knottyandboard.com

VISIT QCNERVE.COM FOR A FULL LISTING OF GIFT SHOPS THAT INCLUDES DESCRIPTIONS FOR EACH ENTRY.

Sanctuary Imports 822 Lamar Ave.; sanctuaryimportsclt.com

Heroes Aren’t Hard to Find 417 Pecan Ave.; heroesonline.com

East 8th Vintage 1950 E 8th St.; Insta: @east8thvintage

Stash Pad 2708 Monroe Road; stashpadvintage.com

1425 Kennon St.; thecultureshopclt.com OLDE MECKLENBURG CHRISTMAS MARKET

PHOTO COURTESY OF OLDE MECK BREWERY

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CLTCH

F4mily Matters

ARTS FEATURE

PAPERBACK HERO

Mason Parker launches comic book series alongside latest album

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BY RYAN PITKIN

Mason Parker was in Scotland for a 2013 performance of Miles & Coltrane: Blue (.), a production from Charlotte-based OnQ Productions that was making its second run at the Edinburgh’s Fringe Festival, when his castmate Carlos Robson told him something that would shape his work for a decade to come.

Parker had at that point begun to form some ideas around a comic book called The Paperback Hero Saga that he wanted to write … or was it an album … or a movie?

The rapper, actor and spoken-word poet had a flurry of ideas blowing around in his brain, and though Robson’s advice didn’t help to narrow them down, it did eventually point his spacecraft in a direction where he could eventually land it.

“He said, ‘Yo, whatever you do, you need to create the “You just gotta see this.” When people talk about your project, it has to elicit that reaction,’” Parker recalled when we met at The People’s Market in Elizabeth on a November evening.

When we had last spoke on the record in summer 2020, Parker had just come off the release of his debut album, Quantum Leap, and was looking to finalize some things about The Paperback Hero Saga.

Three years after that interview, in June 2023, Parker finally dropped the project that has been more than 10 years in the making.

The Paperback Hero Saga is a trifecta of Afrofuturism: a hip-hop album, a short film and a comic book that will eventually turn into a graphic novel. While I’ll do my best to describe how all those parts come together to form a whole, in the end, you just gotta see this.

Now that Issue 1 of the Paperback Hero Saga is out, Parker is far from looking to land the spacecraft.

In the end, he plans to release 21 books, with the first volume consisting of seven issues, each of which based on a song from the 11-track album he

dropped alongside Issue 1 of the comic.

Oh, and while working on all that, he also plans to launch his new lifestyle brand — Sound, Sneakers & Superheroes — through which he hopes to mentor and lead community youth in pursuing their own projects and dreams in a realistic way.

The Bookkeeper

MASON PARKER

PHOTO BY ALVIN C JACOBS JR.

The Paperback Hero Saga Book One: The Bookkeeper, tells the story of Mason Myers, a enjoy the short film for what it is, but if you have significant works of theological fiction in English bookkeeper whose life takes an unexpected turn everything together, then it’s telling you a story in literature and a progenitor of the narrative aspect of after his father’s demise, launching him into a a way that you wouldn’t be able to get if you just Christian media.

“My mom was a smart woman. So when she multiverse of realms and time travel that he never [did one of those things],” he continued. “I wanted to give people something to really sink their teeth introduced me to Star Wars, she said, ‘Star Wars is knew existed. an allegory.’ Then she pointed to Pilgrim’s Progress The book is based on “Petey Pablo,” the first track into.”

Of course, this is all a bit too involved for some as the OG allegory that influenced Star Wars. My off the Paperback Hero Saga album, which is also accompanied by a music video in which Parker acts folks who just want to listen to a hip-hop album and mom never showed me anything current without not feel like they’re in a college course or reading showing me the OG thing that inspired that thing.” out portions of Myers’ story.

It was this thirst for knowledge and love for sci-fi While each of the pieces stand alone, this multi- club. That’s OK, too.

“If you want to study it, you can study it if you that eventually got Mason Parker into Afrofuturism, hyphenated allowed Parker to sprinkle aspects of the story throughout mediums, giving readers no wanted to. And if you don’t want to get that deep, an aesthetic that expresses notions of Black identity, I’ve had some people like, ‘What is all this futuristic agency and freedom through art, creative works and shortage of rabbit holes to dive through.

Parker explained that he wrote the music before stuff at the beginning?’ They’re not into that, but activism envisioning liberated futures for Black life, the comic books, then chose which songs he could they were like, ‘Yo, the music is dope,’” Parker said. as described by the Smithsonian’s National Museum use to spur along the story of his lead character. “So that’s what I was trying to go for. Like, if you just of African American History & Culture.

The character’s names, lingo and other aspects While the project gave Parker an outlet to use all of love hip-hop, then I think you’ll still appreciate it.” of The Paperback Hero Saga are inspired by and his modes of expression — writing, acting, rapping sometimes taken directly from Yoruba culture. and poetry — he’s also spent a lot of time thinking Roots run deep about how the mediums play into the marketing Mason Parker’s fascination with the fantastical It’s Parker’s hope that the stories will inspire the picture. started at an early age. His mother was a fan of reader (or listener) to venture further into the study “It’s specifically designed to draw out the shelf life Star Trek and Star Wars, but also a devout Christian, of Afrofuturism, Yoruba culture and the African of the music so that you constantly are going back to which led to her teaching her son about allegories diaspora, similar to how his mother once used pop culture to teach him about theology and history. the soundtrack because it pushes the story forward,” at an early age. he explained. “There’s stuff in the soundtrack that “She used sci-fi to illustrate the character of God,” “They’re going to get a little bit of medicine with that fills in the gaps between the books. The stuff in the he explained. “She likened The Force to the Holy sugar, and that’s what the beauty of comic books is, you know what I mean? So I look forward to indoctrinating comic book pushes the story forward in a way that Spirit.” you won’t catch if you don’t have all the pieces.

His mom compared Star Wars to The Pilgrim’s people on the low with all this positivity,” he said, “So you can enjoy the soundtrack for what it is, Progress, the 1678 Christian allegory written by laughing. “And they’re not even going to realize it you can enjoy the comic book for what it is, you can John Bunyan that’s regarded as one of the most because they’re just going to think it’s a dope story.”

ARTS FEATURE Now 38, Parker grew up inspired by three brands that are part of what’s been referred to as the Hasbro Universe: G.I. Joe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers. While those all played big roles in his childhood, perhaps no fictional character has meant more to him than Batman — the Caped Crusader, a superhero without superpowers.

Batman: The Animated Series ran from 1992-’95, formative years for Parker.

“I related to him in a lot of different ways, and that spirit of excellence, you know, wanting to be everything for everybody and be great at it all and constantly failing but trying to get back, all that is Batman, right?” he said. “And all of that is the journey that you see me on for the last 10 years.

You’re seeing me fall over and over and over again and keep going and try different things and figure it out and study my opponent and study my audience and just evolve. The parallels between the fantasy and the real are just crazy. It’s like a guide for life.”

The next big move

RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM

ARTWORK BY WOLLY MCNAIR

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As a performer, Parker says he is now entering “collab mode,” in which he’ll be reaching out to the friends he’s made but never worked with over his many years in the Charlotte hip-hop scene.

The idea was formed by the loss of his close friend and former roommate Ian Thornton, a producer with whom Parker had been working on a project when he passed away unexpectedly.

“I had written to some of his music and everything, but we never got around to having, like, an official thing. And that was my boy, you know what I mean?” Parker said, the regret emanating in his eyes.

“At that point, it became clear that once I got Paperback Hero Saga out, I wanted to focus on just doing art for the sake of art … I just want to connect with really dope people and not let too much time go by before we actually collab on our art and do something fly and put it together,” he said.

“So if I’ve already known you, then I’m trying to make it a point to get in the studio and make something actually happen. I know so many dope emcees I just don’t have any music with and I want to fix that before it’s too late.”

The weekend we met up, Parker was scheduled to film a TV show with fellow Charlotte artist Jason Jet, founder of Grindhaus Studios, then attend his first convention as a vendor with his own table setup at Charlotte Comicon in Concord.

With his continued work on the Paperback Hero Saga, one might say Parker has a full plate. Yet he is also laser-focused on the launch of Sound, Sneakers & Superheroes, an effort to spread the knowledge he has attained in more than 15 years as a Charlotte creative.

“We’re considered a black hole market for a reason,” he said of the Charlotte scene. “We’re not centered around entertainment — they purposely try to box some of that shit out when it comes to the arts and entertainment and us having a thriving culture here — so to be able to make a living off of this shit?

“I’m almost 40 and I’ve been getting calls and checks and paid and all that stuff in every capacity, and everything that I do I make money off of it. To be able to say that in a city like Charlotte absolutely is not common at all,”he continued. “And I realized that that is a real blessing, and that part is what makes me different.”

Through Sound, Sneakers & Superheroes, Parker aims to hold workshops and community events that serve as teaching moments and mentorship opportunities for at-risk youth, specifically Black boys and young men aged 7 to 19.

He recalled how his generation was always taught that the one route to take involved graduating high COVER ART FOR THE PAPERBACK HERO SAGA BOOK ONE. school and going to college and finding a career, a path that he followed until he realized that it wasn’t realistic for him.

The balance comes in embracing the reality of any path you take — not simply dropping out of school to pursue a creative career but learning how to put together a framework in which one can work in the creative industry while making a living for themselves.

Parker quotes one of his grandmother’s sayings in explaining the wrap-around services he wants to offer through Sound, Sneakers & Superheroes: “from the rooter to the tooter.” This means not only teaching the technical aspects of recording music or creating a comic book but educating on the importance of budgeting, paperwork, marketing and other business aspects.

His goal is to host the first Sound, Sneakers & Superheroes Con, which he describes as a sneaker con, music fest and comic con rolled into one, sometime in 2026. All to the benefit of local youth.

“I’m gonna teach people how to do exactly what I did,” Parker said. “I’m not keeping it to myself; I want everybody to have this superpower.”

A project fit for Bruce Wayne, and a local superhero leading the way.

wed 11/15

thurs 11/16

THE ANGELS & THE REELING ROGUES MEAN SWEETIE, AURORA’S HOPE, MOMOPHOBIA, TENNESSEE LOVE CONNECTION

Can’t make the trek to experience the Carolina Renaissance Fest? Fear not! Two adult acts that enliven the jousting and jesting bacchanalia are coming to Tommy’s Pub. The Angels, a cadre of queer-singing, sword-slinging heroines in disguise bring wickedly clever, devilishly delightful a cappella voices to tunes both beautiful and bawdy.

The Reeling Rogues draw on a battery of galloping bodhrán and aggressive acoustic guitars to unleash the bardic band of rebels’ fierce punk-rock energy on Celtic jigs, reels and airs. It’s exceedingly rare to see these artists perform together outside the Ren Fest.

More: Free; Nov. 15, 7 p.m.; Tommy’s Pub, 3124 Eastway Drive; facebook.com/tommyspub THE REELING ROGUES Courtesy of The Reeling Rogues

11/15

FRI

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DEVITO DAY

11/17

From One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest to Taxi to It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia to his drunken appearance on The View, Danny DeVito has always been a national treasure. Divine Barrel is joining Tough Ass Crew art co-op in NoDa to celebrate the legend’s birthday with a costume contest, DeVito movies on the projector, music, prizes, art, Ve-Go Food Truck for dinner, and even a DeVito pinata made by local artist Bunny Eaton. Hell, you might even see some rum ham, boiled jeans or a toe knife.

More: Free; Nov. 17, 6-9 p.m.; Divine Barrel Brewing, 3701 N. Davidson St., Suite 203; divinebarrel.com

fri

11/17

STARGAZER MUSIC FESTIVAL

Charlotte New Music returns with Skyfall Edition III, its latest iteration of Stargazer Fest, a close encounter with galactic grooves paired with a battery of telescopes for festivalgoers to peruse the night sky. Performances range from experimental electronics to cosmic jazz to heartfelt neo soul.

Grounding the celestial vibes and space-age jazz, Ke’andra Davis’ lush and luxuriant R&B harkens to old-school masters like Mary J. Blige, in a confident and grounded embrace of powerful emotions. The fest also boasts the biggest light show this side of the galaxy: The Leonid Meteor Shower.

More: $14-$54; Nov. 17, 6 p.m.; Hodges Family Farm, 3780 Rocky River Road; charlottenewmusic.org

Mean Sweeties kick off this powerful bill, a showcase for variety, melody and memorable groves. With guitars that turn from clangorous to jangly, splashy drum fills and drawled vocals, the Spartanburg combo lands somewhere between Big Star and The Melvins. North Carolina garage rockers Aurora’s Hope unleash ratcheting razor-wire guitars that recall Portland grunge pioneers The Wipers crossed with the ’60s biker boogie of Steppenwolf.

Charlotte’s Momophobia marries grimy knotty grooves with uplifting pop-rock vocals. Tennessee Love Connection caps off the evening with shuffling and delightfully noisy psych-rock.

More: $10-$15; Nov. 16, 8 p.m.; The Milestone, 3400 Tuckaseegee Road; themilestone.club

sat 11/18

AURORA’S HOPE Photo courtesy of Aurora’s Hope

11/16

sat 11/18

SEAC VILLAGE STREET FOOD FESTIVAL AVANT GOODYEAR: THE HINTERLANDS

North Carolina is unique in that it is home to many ethnic minorities from Southeast Asian countries.

For example, our state is home to the largest community of Montagnard people, a diverse group of ethnic minorities from Vietnam, living outside of Southeast Asia, as well as the fourth largest Hmong community in the US. This makes North Carolina’s Southeast Asian population very diverse, but also easily misunderstood. Join the Southeast Asian Coalition in bridging those gaps while celebrating Charlotte’s Southeast Asian, Black and Caribbean communities with good food, live performances and a pho-eating contest.

More: Free; Nov. 18, noon-6 p.m.; Asian Corner Mall, 4520 N. Tryon St.; tinyurl.com/SEACVillage

The Hinterlands is an experimental theatre company based in Detroit that creates performances and public events that are equal parts playful and surreal. Their new production, Will You Miss Me?, begins when a haunting song echoing across the holler draws a traveler into a funeral service for one of many white workers who moved from Appalachia to Detroit in the last century — but this is no normal funeral, and that is no ordinary corpse. Layering traditional Appalachian songs with family lore, pre-Christian mythology, and more, it’s the perfect meet-up of the Mitten and Tar Heel states.

More: Free; Nov. 18, 7:30 p.m.; Mint Museum Randolph, 2730 Randolph Road; goodyeararts.com/avgy

sat

11/18

YAP YÈ ISWÀ FESTIVAL

YAP YÈ ISWÀ FESTIVAL Photo courtesy of Catawba Nation

Marking the annual “Day of the Catawba,” the Indigenous tribe that settled the areas around the Piedmont some 10,000 years ago holds a day for drumming, dancing, demonstrations, vendors, and a speaking series at the Catawba Cultural Center, located on the tribe’s reservation in Rock Hill, SC. Former Catawba Nation Chief William “Bill” Harris, who left office in August after deciding not to run for reelection in the 2023 campaign, will appear in his new role as artist-in-residence at the USC Lancaster’s Native American Studies Center, discussing the tribe’s ancient pottery techniques.

More: Free; Nov. 18, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.; Catawba Cultural Center, 1536 Tom Steven Road, Rock Hill, SC; facebook.com/officialcatawba

Ongoing 11/21-26 ‘COMPANY’

This revelatory new production of Stephen Sondheim and George Furth’s groundbreaking musical comedy is billed as “boldly sophisticated, deeply insightful and downright hilarious.” At Bobbie’s 35th birthday party, all her friends keep asking, why isn’t she married? Why can’t she find the right man? Isn’t it time to settle down and start a family? As Bobbie searches for answers, she goes on a journey of self discovery backed by Sondheim’s award-winning score, which includes, “You Could Drive a Person Crazy,” “The Ladies Who Lunch,” “Side

by Side by Side” and “Being Alive.”

More: $30 and up; Nov. 21-26, times vary; Belk Theater, 130 N. Tryon St.; blumenthalarts.org ‘COMPANY’ Photo by Matthew Murphy

11/21-11/26

11/18

SAT 11/25

mon 11/27

YUSSEF DAYES

TAGABOW, FULL BODY 2, NULL, FAKE EYES, SESAME

YUSSEF DAYES Photo by Lindsey Byrnes

11/25

An evening of artsy alt-rock at Snug. Layered like strata at an archeological dig, Philadelphia’s They Are Gutting a Body of Water (TAGABOW) shoots screeching feedback through its self-titled tinkertoy instrumental. Jangly guitars and buried vocals suggest a dreaded recurring dream on “Kmart Amen Break.” Fellow Philly band Null specializes in woozy synths and dance rhythms left out to warp in the sun. NC bands Fake Eyes and Sesame create noisy kaleidoscopes spun from strummed and howling guitars. Full Body 2’s synth terrorism suggests recently excavated demented kids’ show themes.

More: $17.30; Nov. 27, 9 p.m.; Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St.; snugrock.com TAGABOW Photo by The Midnite Wolf

11/27

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At age 4, Yussef Dayes learned to play drums from jazz-fusion legend Billy Cobham. As one half of Yussef Kamaal, the musician, composer and producer dragged the South London jazz scene into the mainstream spotlight in the mid-2010s.

After digging deep into his parents’ love of reggae, country music and The Beatles, Dayes dropped his solo debut LP Black Classical Music in 2023. A mercurial blend of jazz, neo soul, UK rave scene’s jungle, and serpentine rhythms, it’s the biggest thing to shake up contemporary jazz since Kamasi Williams’ 2016 sprawling groundbreaker The Epic.

More: $30-$40; Nov. 25, 8 p.m.; Neighborhood Theatre, 511 E. 36th St.; neighborhoodtheatre.com

MUSIC FEATURE

NIGHT OF THE DISCERNING DOLLS

The Real Dolls give goth rock a reality makeover

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BY PAT MORAN

After listing guitar-strumming lyricists and “I can see the future/ if you stay here with me/ troubadours like Joni Mitchell, Leonard Cohen and ’Cause I don’t want no future/ if we’re not all free/ I feel Elliott Smith as musical influences, Tessa Harmon just like a fossil/ underneath my skin/ Like something insists she’s also an unrepentant goth rocker. so eternal/ is ready to begin...”

“I was always on the periphery of that scene,” says Here Harmon’s words hew closer to angry yet the founder of the elegant goth-adjacent alternative uplifting 1960s protest folk. Like the tuneful band The Real Dolls. “I love post-punk [and] all the polemics of Bob Dylan and Phil Ochs, “Fossil” offers music from that era. I’m sure it comes through [in hope, yet it’s grounded in harsh reality. my music] on some level.”

The songwriter and multi-instrumentalist notes Fossilized emotions that her looks — dark hair, pale skin and blood red Harmon says “Fossil” was inspired by her lipstick — often land her in the same category as experiences working as an engineer for online music such sinister sirens as Siouxsie Sioux of Siouxsie and and audio distribution company Bandcamp. Two the Banshees, the feminist goth-rock pioneer who weeks prior to speaking with Queen City Nerve, regularly denied that she was in the same spooky Harmon was laid off. She was not the only employee charnel-house genre as musicians like AIDS activist who suddenly found themselves unemployed.

Diamanda Galas and horror-punk powerhouse Video game website Kotaku notes that Epic Dinah Cancer of 45 Grave.

Games, which acquired Bandcamp just a year ago, “I mean, isn’t it a classic goth thing to say, ‘I’m not laid off half its staff after finalizing its recent sale to goth’ when you clearly are?” Harmon asks. music licensing company Songtradr. Ostensibly, the Certainly, The Real Dolls’ latest single “Fossil” layoffs were due to simple economics and market nods to the sonic signposts of goth. Amid springy forces. reverberating bass, celestial synthesizer hits and In a statement, Songtradr said, “Over the past bandmate Kevin Kinne’s motorik beats, Harmon’s few years the operating costs of Bandcamp have meditative, slightly detached vocals skirl like a cold significantly increased. It required some adjustments breeze sighing through a churchyard. to ensure a sustainable and healthy company that This kind of shivery pop soundscape could deliver can serve its community of artists and fans.” a creepy set piece, like Bauhaus’ sepulchral yet Tech journalism company 404 Media points silly “Bela Lugosi’s Dead.” Instead, Harmon shares out that the layoffs came shortly after Bandcamp a vulnerable confession, and acknowledges that workers voted to form a workers union, Bandcamp aspects of modern life can grind us down: United. The company’s entire bargaining team, the “I’m so tired/ of being disappointed/ but not eight democratically elected members chosen by surprised/ I’m running out/ of things I’m willing/ to workers to negotiate their first union contract with sacrifice...”

Bandcamp, were among the employees laid off.

At the same time, Harmon says that together we I can only note that it’s suspicious that profitable can muster the strength to prevail and overcome. players like Songtradr and Epic Games suddenly

TESSA HARMON WITH THE REAL DOLLS

PHOTO BY MARY GRACE MCKUSICK

turned cost-conscious after a workers’ union was Art rock from planet Venus elected.

The Real Dolls has experienced shifting lineups, at “[The song] is about … the feelings I had and one point having a full-time synth player onboard, still have, and wanting to have a song that was but the core of the self-styled “art rock from Planet hopeful,” Harmon says. “There is a lot of fucked up Venus,” “apocalypse proof glam” and “the cowboy stuff happening in the world now, where I think glam you didn’t know you needed” has been we feel disempowered. I just wanted to have this drummer/vocalist Kinne, alongsde Harmon on message of solidarity and hope.” vocals, keyboards and baritone guitar.

“Fossil” simultaneously serves as 0a wakeup call “It’s always me and Kevin,” says Harmon. After to Harmon’s fellow tech workers. some members moved away from Charlotte or “My background is engineering. The attitude dropped out due to scheduling conflicts, Harmon … among engineers is like, ‘We have it so good. and Kinne have played several shows, including the Why would we unionize? Why rock the boat?’” upcoming Petra’s gig, as a two-piece.

Harmon says. “A lot of engineers … don’t have “Kevin and I are both fluid in [that] we play a lot an understanding of what it’s like for other tech of different instruments,” Harmon offers. “We both workers. Tech really needs to wake up and organize.” sing. We have the skills to self-record. I do all the There may be other examples of worldly, issue- artwork for all of my stuff. It’s fun to have all these driven darkwave tunes, but “Fossil” is the only goth capabilities within the two of us.” or goth-adjacent song about union busting and “If two elevator workers decided to form a band late-stage capitalism’s exploitation of workers. in an elevator, it would sound exactly like us,” says There may be dark forces in the world, but they’re Kinne. “Or maybe it’s two lighthouse keepers.” not spread by malevolent spirits. Instead, it’s due to The future compatible band members did not the soulless greed of unfettered capitalism. come to music-making from similar paths.

“Fossil” is the lead single off The Real Dolls’ fourGrowing up in the Matthews/Indian Trail area, track EP See Through, which gets a release party at Harmon remembers singing for as long as she could Petra’s on Nov. 24. The Petra’s gig will also see the talk. She started playing guitar at age 9, after her debut of the song’s accompanying and ambitious father took her to The Brian Setzer Orchestra in video. concert.

MUSIC FEATURE

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in Charlotte. Co-songwriters Horton and Hanifin “That’s how The Real Dolls came about,” Harmon Superior,” she says. recorded the band’s self-titled debut album in says.

“With The Real Dolls I like taking my time, doing lockdown.

She believes working with Kinne transformed her fewer shows, making them special.”

Harmon subsequently began writing songs in her “Alex’s friend Logan [Jones] recorded drums songwriting. teens and twenties, but didn’t share them. Playing because he had a home recording set up,” Harmon “The process has been more organic [with The Days of future passed by herself, she concentrated on music created just by says.

Real Dolls],” Harmon says. “It’s different when One special aspect of the upcoming Petra’s gig guitar and voice. It wasn’t until Harmon was 29 that The band drew attention beyond goth and dark- someone comes to you with a mostly finished song is the debut of the video for “Fossil,” which The she drew from her writing to craft songs in her first wave circles, in part due to its haunting cover of and you help finish it versus starting from scratch.” Real Dolls teased with an intriguing compilation band, Buried in Roses.

Angelo Badalamenti’s “I Float Alone,” originally The result can be heard in The Real Dolls’ music. of flash cuts on the band’s Instagram account. The Growing up in Huntersville, Kinne scammed sung by the late Julee Cruise on David Lynch’s cult Buried in Roses is undoubtedly accomplished. The video is produced, directed, edited and shot by his way into his first band at age 14, claiming he television classic Twin Peaks.

Real Dolls’“Fossil” is also carefully crafted, but it also Seyla Hossaini from spooky Richmond garage band could play drums when he couldn’t. He faked it well “I’m a big Twin Peaks and David Lynch fan,” sounds fresh — goth crossed with pop, alternative Toward Space, which is also on Petra’s Nov. 24 bill. enough and quickly grew more skilled.

Harmon says. “Early on I learned how to play a few rock and social consciousness.

“I wanted to work with Seyla because we’re both “I haven’t stopped since,” Kinne says. At 16, Badalamenti songs just to reverse engineer them a Although Kinne claims he just throws drums on queer,” Harmon says. “I wanted to have someone he wrote songs and sang for a band called The little bit.”

Harmon’s songs, Harmon says he’s being modest. who understood that I wanted to make something Malcontents.

I love writing with you Kevin,” Harmon says to sexy and sensual but have it not be [from] the male “In high school, everyone was going to Warped A songwriter blossoms beyond the her musical partner. “When I’m writing by myself gaze.”

Tour and was into emo and metal,” Kinne says. “I was … and I’m not sure where to take it, you help me “[The video] is me imagining a future that would roses obsessed with Nirvana.” identify stronger directions to go in because you be cool to have, like we’re in community with each Buried in Roses released its self-titled debut album Primus and The White Stripes also fueled his love want to do something cool. You’re very affirming.” other and enjoying ourselves,” Harmon continues. on the revered goth rock label SwissDarkNights in for tuneful yet adventurous rock.

Kinne also keeps busy with other projects. He has The video’s look is inspired by a trend in ’80s August 2021. Except for “I Float Alone” and one song In 2019, Harmon formed Buried in Roses with run sound at The Milestone Club for two years and music videos that turned the clock back to 1940s written by Hanifin, Harmon wrote all the lyrics on guitarist/bassist/synth player Alex Hanifin and he frequently books friends’ bands for shows around Hollywood glamour. Harmon cites the videos for the LP. Takoda Hortenberry on drums. The lineup changed town.

Duran Duran’s “Chauffeur” and Ultravox’s “Vienna” as “Alex would come to me with unfinished songs,” when COVID struck.

“We love Snug [Harbor], Petra’s and Bart’s Mart, visual signposts.

Harmon says. “He would already have a chord Hortenberry moved away, unable to find work but The Milestone will always be my home,” Kinne “My mood board for the video was a lot of screen pattern [and] I would fill it in says. caps from those kinds of videos,” Harmon says. or figure out the vocal melody In addition to The Real Dolls, Kine plays drums Harmon hopes the entire package — music and the lyrics.” in Pet Bug, Jackson Fig and Modern Everything. He video, EP release and The Real Dolls’ setlist — will Post-pandemic, Harmon released his debut solo album Medication Dreams in offer audiences an emotional connection. and Hanifin filled out the August 2023.

“I want them to feel support, recognition or band’s lineup and started to The meditative and eclectic 12-track album was resonance,” she says. “A lot of these songs come play out at venues, which is inspired by two things, Kinne says. from very dark places but I want people to feel that how Harmon and Kinne met.

“One is I got out of a tough relationship and they’re able to get through whatever they’re going Buried in Roses was having needed to vent without … annoying my friends,” through.” trouble keeping a drummer Kinne says. “[Then] I also started back up on [antiKinne wants people to realize and accept that less on board, Harmon says, so depressant and anti-anxiety] meds. They were is more.

Kinne offered to be a fill-in. He giving me insane dreams.”

“You don’t always need a gigantic band to get started rehearsing with Buried Kinne also sings, plays bass and is a co-songwriter your message across,” he says. in Roses for a few years. with Harmon for The Mother Superior, a self styled The band’s songs hearken to Harmon’s early folk Last summer, Buried in “grunge gaze” band he founded in early 2022. and acoustic influences — artists like Mitchell, Roses had to drop out of a “It’s my main project,” Kinne says.”I started it out Cohen and Elliott — stripped down to a foundation Milestone show because some with the intent of it being a solo project, but … [I of just voice and guitar. members had scheduling realized] I have too many talented friends to make ‘“Fossil,’ it’s very produced sounding and very conflicts, Harmon remembers this a solo project.” polished, but people who have seen us live, when “In my back pocket I had Soon, The Mother Superior evolved into another it’s just me and Kevin, [have heard it] a little more this concept for a solo project, collaborative endeavor with Harmon. raw, and a little more organic.”

Harmon says, “because I “It’s definitely heavy,” Harmon says. “I always As long as you write a song that has integrity, you wanted to challenge myself to wanted to play music like that.” The Mother Superior can always strip it back, she maintains. be the main songwriter.” released its four-track EP Glass Hours on June 15.

“That’s the test for me,” Harmon says. “Is this song Instead of being part of Harmon adds that The Mother Superior could be worth playing [or] worth recording? If I strip it back, Buried in Roses’ songwriting called her main project if you base that description is it still good?” partnership, Harmon wanted solely on the time she spends with each project. to see what she was capable of PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM “We gig more frequently with The Mother PHOTO BY MARY GRACE MCKUSICK producing by herself.

KEVIN KINNE

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 15 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Rose Funeral w/ My Own Will, Homicyde, Severed By Dawn (The Milestone)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Rod Wave (Spectrum Center)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC Brent Cates Duo (Goldie’s)

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 17 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill) Andrew McMahon (The Fillmore) Lilith Rising w/ sayurblaires, Y’all’re, True Lilith (The Rooster) Shot Clock w/ Orphan Riot, Evergone (Tommy’s Pub)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

COVER BANDS

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Creed Fisher (Coyote Joe’s) Stage of Stars: Jake Owen, Brett Young, Jackson Alexandra Kay (The Underground) Dean, Russell Dickerson (Coyote Joe’s) Reedy River String Band (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Alana Springsteen w/ Sophia Scott (Evening Muse) Bar) Ryan Montbleau Band w/ Brooks Forsyth (Stage JAZZ/BLUES Door Theater) Bria Skonberg Quartet (Stage Door Theater) FUNK/JAM BANDS Ghost Funk Orchestra w/ Afrobeta, [suspenceful HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B Emanuel Wynter w/ Council Ring (Camp North music playing], Harrison Bergamot, 6 Cardinal End) (Snug Harbor) Coconut Groove plays CSNY (Middle C Jazz)

OPEN MIC

Singer/Songwriter Open Mic (The Rooster)

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 16

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ROCK/PUNK/METAL

‘Tis the Damn Season: Taylor Swift Dance Party (Amos’ Southend) William Hinson w/ White Toledo (Evening Muse) Husbands (Neighborhood Theatre) Luna Luna w/ Ernest Rareberrg (Snug Harbor)

Dovecage w/ 6 Story Pyramid (Evening Muse) CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL Charlotte Symphony: Verdi’s Requiem (Belk Mean Sweetie w/ Auroras Hope, Momphobia, Theater) Tennessee Love Connection (The Milestone) Phoneboy w/ The Backfires (Neighborhood Theatre) FUNK/JAM BANDS Gyasi w/ Johnny Dynamite & The Bloodsuckers, Pluto for Planet w/ Elliot Morgan (Goldie’s) Shawnis & The Shimmers (Snug Harbor) LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ Myke Towers (Ovens Auditorium) LSDREAM (The Fillmore) SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC FUNK/JAM BANDS Siege Hardee w/ Matthew Paul Butler, Phill Shana Blake’s Musical Menagerie (Smokey Joe’s Reynolds (Petra’s) Cafe & Bar) COVER BANDS Split Penny w/ Jordan Sledge, Blake Anthony & On the Border (Eagles tribute) The Campfire (Petra’s)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 18

Neil Carter (Comet Grill) ROCK/PUNK/METAL Dan Hood Trio w/ Simple Sole (Goldie’s) Kids and Their Computers (Evening Muse) Lo Wolf w/ Tony Wain, Joe Nelson (Snug Harbor) Grace Potter (The Fillmore) BEACH MUSIC Mirror Games w/ Matt Stratford (Goldie’s) Pat Travers Band (Neighborhood Theatre) The Embers feat. Craig Woolard (Middle C Jazz

Crenshaw Pentecostal w/ The Gone Ghosts, VESS (Petra’s) Donnie Doolittle w/ w/ Old Heavy Hands, Tab One (Snug Harbor) Whiskey Predicament w/ Leaving Echoes, X Bound, Earth That Was (Snug Harbor)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA Hunter’s Travesty (Comet Grill)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 20 JAZZ/BLUES

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Charlotte Bluegrass Mondays (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

OPEN MIC

Find Your Muse Open Mic (Evening Muse)

Organic Soul w/ Ginger T (The Rooster) TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 21 The Ben Gatlin Band (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar) ROCK/PUNK/METAL Tamra Simone + the Finnas (Starlight on 22nd) Hot Mulligan (The Fillmore) JAZZ/BLUES Red Rocking Chair (Comet Grill) Bria Skonberg Quartet (Stage Door Theater) 80HD w/ Paranoid Maniac, Corrupt Faith, Groove 8 (Evening Muse) Beauty (Snug Harbor) Paul Taylor (Middle C Jazz) JAZZ/BLUES LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE Popa Chubby (Neighborhood Theatre) DannyLux (The Underground) SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL Inside Joke (3102 VisArt) Charlotte Symphony: Verdi’s Requiem (Belk Sam on Someday (Evening Muse) Theater) OPEN MIC COVER BANDS Open Mic Night feat. The Smokin J’s (Smokey Thurston Howell (Amos’ Southend) Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 19 JAZZ/BLUES

Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill) John Splitoff (Middle C Jazz)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

6LACK (The Fillmore) Cody Manson w/ Baha Bla$t, Illiminate, Wisdom Court Entertainment, Bluntsworth, Raddre, Kyng Rash, Delusion, 3amSound (The Milestone)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Jake Kohn w/ Zac Townsend (Neighborhood Theatre)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ Hazy Sunday (Petra’s)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC Square Roots (Goldie’s)

OPEN MIC

Super Sunday Open Mic (Starlight on 22nd)

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 22 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

A Life Worth Taking w/ My Blue Hope, Ugly Poets, Digital Dolls (The Milestone) PYLETRIBE w/ Charlotte Bluegrass Allstars, SRO Band (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar) Pretty Baby w/ Monsoon, Golden Apples (Snug Harbor)

JAZZ/BLUES

Kenny Mann & Liquid Pleasure (Middle C Jazz)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Caleb Davis Band w/ Mike Ramsey (Goldie’s)

HOLIDAY

A Very Darren Crissmas (Knight Theater)

OPEN MIC

Singer/Songwriter Open Mic (The Rooster) Variety Open Mic (Starlight on 22nd)

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 23 FUNK/JAM BANDS

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Digital Noir w/ DJ Spider, DJ Price (The Milestone)

Shana Blake’s Musical Menagerie (Smokey Joe’s CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL Cafe & Bar) Charlotte Symphony: ‘Elf’ in Concert (Ovens POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ Auditorium) DOMii (Snug Harbor)

COVER BANDS

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 24 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Guardians of the Jukebox (Amos’ Southend) Jam Garden (Goldie’s) 70s Kids (Middle C Jazz)

The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill) 20 Watt Tombstone w/ Bog Loaf, Hellfire 76, SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 26 SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC Ryan Lockhart (The Milestone) Zac Robins (Goldie’s) Other People (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar) Y’All’Re w/ Victim Complex, Ruff’tons (Tommy’s HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B Pub) Doja Cat (Spectrum Center)

JAZZ/BLUES

Robyn Springer feat. Ziad Rabie, Rodney Shelton (Middle C Jazz)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

JAZZ/BLUES

Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill)

OPEN MIC

Super Sunday Open Mic (Starlight on 22nd)

Ian Munsick (Coyote Joe’s) Ellis Paul w/ Radoslav Lorković (Evening Muse) Bourbon Sons (Goldie’s)

HOLIDAY

The Real Dolls w/ Toward Space, Neon Deaths (Petra’s) Deep Fried Disco (Snug Harbor)

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 27

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Charlotte Symphony: ‘Elf’ in Concert (Ovens Auditorium)

COVER BANDS

The North Carolina Waltz (The Band tribute) (Visulite Theatre)

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 25 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Chase Killough & Friends (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar) The Bad Daddies (Visulite Theatre)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

TAGABOW w/ Full Body 2, Null, Fake Eyes, Sesame (Snug Harbor)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Charlotte Bluegrass Mondays (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

JAZZ/BLUES

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s)

HOLIDAY

A Motown Christmas (Knight Theater)

OPEN MIC

Find Your Muse Open Mic (Evening Muse)

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 28 ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Red Rocking Chair (Comet Grill) Scene Queen (The Underground)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Nancy Jones & Craig Hanks (3102 VisArt)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Lost Cargo: Tiki Social Party (Petra’s)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night feat. The Smokin J’s (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

Alan Charmer w/ 2 Slices, Top Achiever (Petra’s)

JAZZ/BLUES

Braxton Bateman w/ Aarik Duncan (Evening Muse) Yussef Dayes (Neighborhood Theatre)

VISIT QCNERVE.COM FOR THE FULL SOUNDWAVE LISTING.

Pg. 13 NOVEMBER 15 - NOVEMBER 28, 2023 - QCNERVE.COM

Leisure McCorkle (Comet Grill) Graveyard Boulevard w/Self Made Monsters, MoonScar, Leaving Echoes (The Rooster)

By George w/ Atticus Roness, Nolen Durham (Snug Harbor) Bergentine and the Ruftons (Snug Harbor) Billy Batt’s & the Made Men w/ Negulators, Dumpster Service (Tommy’s Pub)

Martina McBride Christmas Tour (Ovens Auditorium)

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

A TASTE OF HOME Chef Awo Amenumey shares her native cuisine through Eh’Vivi

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BY DEZANII LEWIS

The sky was gray and the air cold — it was the type of weather that made you want to stay inside and never come out. The rain fell steadily outside of the small coffee shop. Inside, sequestered to the side, sat a woman sporting black, mauve, and amber braids. When Awo Amenumey noticed me, she smiled and greeted me with a warm hug, chasing away the outside chill. It was our first time meeting.

“I made you some cookies,” she said.

I noticed for the first time the small box with a clear lid that sat on the table in front of her. Inside, there were red cookies generously dusted with powdered sugar — she later told me they were red velvet crinkle cookies to which she added freezedried strawberries and coconut. I took a seat and opened the box to try the cookies.

They were delectable, each bite a cloud of bliss that melted in my mouth. I told her as much and she offered a warmhearted thanks with a smile.

Amenumey didn’t always intend to be in the culinary field, but after those cookies, it quickly became clear to me that she ended up right where she belongs. And as good as those cookies were, they’re not even her specialty.

Through her catering and pop-up business Eh’Vivi Ghanaian Cuisine, Amenumey is on a mission to introduce people to her native Ghanaian cuisine.

“My goal is to just bring Ghanaian food to the forefront of the culinary scene through culture,” she said. “I just share my culture through food. That’s the purpose of what I do.”

While Amenumey doesn’t have a brick-andmortar restaurant just yet, she has been moving forward with her goal, reaching countless folks throughout the Charlotte area and beyond through Eh’vivi, which means “tasty” in the Ghanaian language, Ewe. The way she describes it, the idea of starting her own business was almost an afterthought.

“One or two people have told me my food is good, so I’m like, it’s fitting, and I wanted to pay some kind of homage to where I’m from,” she said.

Having launched in 2022, Eh’Vivi does pop-ups

and catering events throughout the Charlotte area.

Based out of her home in Concord, Amenumey wants to eventually open a traditional restaurant.

In the meantime, she’s making moves to challenge people’s palette.

“I would love a brick-and-mortar,” she said. “So this is working towards a brick-and-mortar. Just getting the client base, getting the fan base, and then, when all the stars align into a brick-andmortar, it’ll be, hopefully, a smooth transition.”

I told her that as long as those cookies are on the menu, she’d be successful.

Steeped in tradition

From a young age, Amenumey recalled cooking frequently for her family. She lived in a multigenerational household where cooking and eating were a means of connecting with each other, establishing a sense of togetherness. She began cooking at the young age of 7.

“It was one big, old family, and no one came to my house and left without taking away food,” she said. “It was the same on both sides of my family; whether I was with my dad’s side or my mom’s side of the family, it was something that I grew up around all the time. So, I don’t know how not to. No one comes to my home and does not eat, or leaves without taking something. I get offended.”

Despite cooking and fellowship being so ingrained in her, a culinary career was not Amenumey’s first inclination. When she first moved to the United States 17 years ago, she went to school for fashion merchandising.

“My dad was a diplomat, and so that was how we relocated here,” she said. “I did not think or even have the slightest imagination that I would be in the culinary industry. Being a chef was not something I wanted to be growing up; I didn’t think it was an option.”

“Life became life,” as Amenumey put it, and she left school before completing her course load. She later went into hospitality, but only thought of it as a stepping stone — a gig to get her by while she awaited her next big move.

CHEF AWO AMENUMEY AT ONE OF HER DINNERS.

PHOTO COURTESY OF EH’VIVI

As it turned out, her next big move was marriage. graduate from WKCTC, the school was readying a She had children and ended up in Kentucky with her new cafe to open. She worked an internship, and new family, attending West Kentucky Community upon graduation landed a job as manager at the and Technical College (WKCTC). It was there that she cafe, given to her by the same culinary director she finally began to explore cooking as a career, thanks had spoken with about entering the program 18 in large part to her husband, who regularly dropped months earlier.

Amenumey ran the cafe for six months before hints that she should give it a try.

“He’s always been putting the idea in my mind to moving to Charlotte.

As she began to think more about a culinary go to culinary school, because I was always inviting people by the house, cooking for people,” she said. career and her own path, she kept returning to She enrolled in the culinary program after a certain underrepresentation she had noticed speaking with the director there, who informed her throughout her time in America.

“When I came to the US, I didn’t really see that she could complete the program in two years.

Ghanaian food,” she said. “I’ve [eaten] Chinese food, She completed it in a year and a half.

The experience was a life-changing decision for but all I knew was Ghanaian food. So when I came to the US, you see Mexican, Italian, Indian all over the Amenumey.

“It was like a whole new world opened up for me,” place. I’m like, ‘Where’s Ghana? We have good food.’ I she said. “When I started culinary school, I loved it.” don’t see any,” she recalled.

“I mean, you see a few African restaurants here Amenumey became hungry for real-world experience, volunteering with friends who worked and there, but nothing mainstream. So I am not in the culinary industry and applying for any thinking of this as a career. It was just my way of, ‘Hey, come try the food from my country. It’s really position that opened up that she could fit in.

“I took that as an opportunity to learn the good.’”

Still a mother to young children upon graduation, industry, so to speak, through education,” she said.

“So I would volunteer for any opportunity.”

Amenumey didn’t want to work in a traditional That drive paid off. Just as she was preparing to kitchen with crazy hours. She started her first

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

she told me. “When I was growing up, it was dinner time when all the kids got around the big old bowl, and everybody eating from the same bowl. It was catering company in 2018, then took a job as a community, it was camaraderie. It was a way of traveling sous chef the next year. sharing with each other. That’s how I cook when I’m By spring of 2022, she realized she had fallen hosting dinners. It’s a way of inviting people into my right into the trap she was trying to avoid. life and sharing a little bit of me, a little bit of my “I was at a different place every week,” she said. culture, welcoming them into my abode.”

“I got to meet new people, share my experience, While her most common form of introduction learn something from them as well, and vice versa,” comes in the form of her favorite dish, groundnut she recalled. “And when I come home, weekends or soup with rice balls, she invites people into her life whenever it is, I’d still be doing catering and it was a in other ways. lot. I was burned out. So last year, April, I wanted to In addition to the pop-ups, she regularly updates move my business in a different direction.” a journal on her website, detailing different types of She rethought her approach and launched Eh’Vivi food from her culture for anyone to read.

Ghanaian Cuisine, providing local residents with She also created her own brand of granola called a culinary portal to her homeland while providing BisKrunchies, which is where the cookies come in. herself with the time she needed with her family.

“BisKrunchies is my baby,” she said.

Much like Eh’Vivi, Amenumey launched A natural born caretaker BisKrunchies to fill a void; there are very few Black Awo Amenumey loves to feed people. That much granola businesses around. was evident from the moment I met her and she Under BisKrunchies, she implemented several offered me, someone she had never met before, a different flavor combinations. home-cooked treat.

In addition to the cookies she baked for me, she “I don’t care who it is, I’m feeding you. Cooking talked about her “jazzy granola cookie,” which has has always been a way of bringing people together,” fruits, nuts, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, and

white chocolate baked into it.

“I call it an oatmeal raisin cookie on steroids,” she said.

She also mentioned her other flavor profiles, each sounding as devourable as the next.

“I’ve had goat cheese lemon cookies,” she said.

“I’ve had goat cheese maple pecan. I had peaches and cream. I had espresso caramel, which has now become a staple because it was so popular with espresso with caramel chips … The cookie flavors just keep evolving.”

Amenuwemy’s cookies may sound unconventional, but that’s the draw — at least she hopes so.

“My hope is for people to come to a warm and inviting space,” she said. “I just hope for people to come with an open mind, an expecting mind to learn about a new ingredient that they’ve never tried before, learn about a dish that they might have not had before.”

She said she doesn’t want to plan on stopping at the local level with her cuisine, as expansion is already on her mind once she can open a brick-andmortar restaurant. In fact, in December she’ll return to Ghana to host a collaborative pop-up event, Eh-

A DINNER AT NEBEDAYE FARMS

DISHES OF AKLA ABOUT TO BE SERVED UP TO EH’VIVI PATRONS.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

PHOTO COURTESY OF EH’VIVI

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PHOTO COURTESY OF EH’VIVI

Vivi x Crescendo, on Dec. 15, followed by a ladies’ brunch on Dec. 16.

“I thrive on collaboration, and I feel like we win big when we collaborate,” she said.

While she’s a regular collaborator with local Bennu Gardens founder Bernard Singleton, with whom she hosts dinners at Nebedaye Farms, Singleton’s property in Indian Trail, she has finished all of her pop-ups and catering events in the United States this year.

She promises to be back for more next year, and possibly open that restaurant she’s been thinking about since launching her business.

When we left, she gave me another hug and I complimented her fabulous gray coat, anticipating the chill. Outside, the rain had stopped, though, and the sun was coming out, perhaps anticipating a bright future for Chef Awo. It’s a future she’s patient for, as she knows what has come before has made her ready for what she faces today.

“I would say it’s fate and purpose,” she said.

“That’s why I’m doing what I do.”

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE

EAT, GAY, LOVE CELEBRATES 5 YEARS

Inclusive Thanksgiving dinner built on community care

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Our fifth annual inclusive Thanksgiving dinner keeps the same mission: Spread love and food to our underserved members of the LGBTQIA+ community.

Queen City Nerve partners with Billy Sunday to host a free dinner on Thanksgiving day for anyone in search of community care. Unfortunately, members of the LGBTQIA+ community are often excluded from family functions during the holidays and we work together to offer a safe space for enjoyment.

We have decided to keep this event at Billy Sunday Charlotte even though demand for this event has continued to grow every year!

For the fifth year, we are partnering with Block Love CLT. This is to make sure that all of our leftovers (not the ones from the plates) are going to a good home. Block Love CLT is a local nonprofit organization that sets up in Uptown every single day to serve dinner to our neighbors experiencing homelessness, and twice a week for breakfast.

Afterward, all of their leftovers are distributed to encampments and shelters around the city to spread the

FUN TIMES AT BILLY SUNDAY.

love. All of our leftovers will be boxed up and contributed to their mission of spreading block love.

We operate this event on a donation basis. We ask that if you are willing and able, to donate either your time or food and supplies to this effort. Below is a form to submit what you are able to contribute to the dinner.

Check back for the form to be updated with what is still needed leading up to the event.

All monetary donations not used directly for the event are donated to Block Love CLT. Drop-off instructions for food and supplies will DESSERTS AWAIT THEIR TURN AT EAT, GAY, LOVE be delivered to your email inbox after submitting a donation form. Please include your email for us to keep in contact with you!

We are offering curbside pick-up for anyone who does not feel comfortable being inside the space for dinner.

Eat, Gay, Love is sponsored by Queen City Nerve, Billy Sunday, Block Love CLT, El Thrifty, Blumenthal Performing Arts’ Out on the Town, and Ava Neapolitan Pizzeria.

PHOTO BY JUSTIN LAFRANCOIS

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

PHOTO BY JONNY GOLIAN

BRIAN DUBOIS (FAR LEFT) AND JUSTIN LAFRANCOIS (FAR RIGHT) AT EAT, GAY, LOVE.

PHOTO BY JONNY GOLIAN

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LIFESTYLE PUZZLES SUDOKU

BY LINDA THISTLE

TRIVIA TEST

BY FIFI RODRIGUEZ

1. LITERATURE: What is Dorothy’s last name in “The Wizard of Oz”?

2. GEOGRAPHY: Which U.S. states share a border with Mexico?

3. MOVIES: What are Indiana Jones and his father searching for in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”?

4. TELEVISION: Which TV dramedy is set on Wisteria Lane?

5. LANGUAGE: What is a common Latin phrase meaning “something for something”?

6. ANIMAL KINGDOM: What is the fastest fish?

7. INVENTIONS: Where was the first compass invented?

8. SCIENCE: How long does it take for the sun’s light to reach Earth?

9. U.S. STATES: Which state is the smallest in land size?

10. MEDICAL: What is a common name for aphthous stomatitis?

CROSSWORD

PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE. ©2023 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.

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WOMEN’S MOVEMENTS

©2023 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

AERIN IT OUT

A COUNTRY-FRIED CHICKEN CHASE Not your momma’s bar crawl

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BY AERIN SPRUILL

A couple of weeks ago, the boo and I got a text When a team finds the chicken, they’re allowed to from my girlfriend inviting us to a “Chicken Chase” text the bar crawl group and say, “FOUND.” Hints are bar crawl for her boyfriend’s birthday. allowed after a certain time frame and you choose Normally, we’re not the type to commit to a social how long to keep the shenanigans going. gathering prematurely, especially when it involves If you’re lucky, you find the chicken at the first bar, day drinking — or chickens. It was the sheer save your money on Ubers, and can start drinking excitement on her boyfriend’s face when he alluded on everyone else’s dime. If your luck runs out, your to the impending invite that conjured the obligatory team pays for a round and by then, most likely, all reply, “Can we be in your group?” the money’s gone. Now that that’s out of the way…

Though she reassured me our being together was The Saturday of the crawl was a gloomy one. a requirement, I shouldn’t have counted my chickens The sky was dark and the clouds were threatening before they hatched. a day of unpredictable drizzles. Combine that with For those of you who’ve never heard of a Chicken my feeling a bit peckish from the night before and Chase, you’re not alone. If not for this country band you had the perfect setup for brainstorming escape of hooligans, my own chickenhead self wouldn’t plans. have known either. So here’s the skinny.

A comfortable hour behind schedule, surely I was Someone buys a ridiculous chicken costume testing the patience of my friends. It felt like a “safe” and curates the approved bar crawl list. Everyone window to call my girlfriend and inundate her with attending the crawl throws in cash (we brought multiple excuses at once so she’d be inclined to get $20). Once gathered, draw names out of a hat, pick the ball rolling. straws, etc. to determine who will be donning the “Go ahead and get started without us, we’re chicken costume. moving real slow. We don’t want to hold y’all up *Pause.* I did not read that part when she sent us the and we forgot to get cash. We can just meet you at link. Had I known there was even a slight chance I’d be the first bar you go to,” I stuttered quickly into the dressing up for Halloween two weeks into November, I phone. For a moment I thought we were in the clear would’ve kindly declined the invite from jump. as she aligned with her boyfriend in the background, Once the chicken has been chosen, said person but then the verdict came: “We’ll wait!” CLUCK! puts on the costume, takes the money pool and We strolled into their living room two hours heads to one of the bars on the designated list to later and our rooster laid the ground rules. He then begin drinking with everyone’s money. instructed us to pick a playing card, concealing the The rest of the group is then divided into teams. face. At this point, I was sweating. 1-2-3 *flips card After 30 minutes, each team decides which bar to go to forehead.* I watched as everyone’s eyes darted to first and then the chase to find the chicken begins. around looking for the lone Jack, fully anticipating At each bar, everyone must have at least one fingers outstretched at someone, anyone else in the drink, even if it’s water (*flips the bird*). Any form circle. of cheating — sharing locations or side-texting, for After what felt like an eternity, I realized all eyes example — is highly frowned upon, but I encourage were on me. I flipped the card around as the room you to get creative *wink*. burst into laughter to reveal the “one-eyed Jack.”

My momma ain’t raise no chicken. I held my beak high as I stepped into the extra large bright yellow onesie complete with red felt wings and a chickenhead hoodie.

Though I was sure the secondhand embarrassment might kill my boyfriend, he stepped up like Colonel Sanders to be my sidekick.

After much deliberation, we settled on Two Buck Saloon. Though it wasn’t as busy as it sometimes is on a Sunday, we chuckled awkwardly as we approached the bar, passing by stares of utter confusion.

I must say, the sheer judgment was worth it when I pulled $300 cash out to order a much-needed shot and cider.

At minute-marker 45, just when I began to worry about this chicken choking down too many ciders, my bestie thwarted our strategy by jumping through the doorway, arms outstretched, and screaming, “I KNEW IT! I FOUND THE CHICKEN!” The final team showed up two and a half hours later to enjoy the last few chicken nuggets from our money pool, just in time for this chicken to return to her coop. Bawk, bawk, chicken, chicken. Bawk, bawk. Chicken dead.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

LIFESTYLE

HOROSCOPE

NOV. 15 - 21

PUZZLE ANSWERS

2023 KING FEATURES SYND., INC.

NOV. 22 - 28

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) There’s no need for that suspicious Aries mind of yours to work overtime, either at home or on the job. Remember that appearances are often deceiving.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) You often let others complete projects that you’ve started, but you’d be wise to stick with this one if you hope to make that important professional impression.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) A new opportunity might seem riskier than you would like. Examine all sides; then rely on your good sense to guide you toward the right decision.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) As you begin to shop for holiday presents, be sure to put yourself on your list for a well-earned special gift. (Perhaps that trip you’ve been putting off for so long?)

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR CANCER (June 21 to July 22) You might feel under CANCER (June 21 to July 22) You continue to see progress NEWSLETTER pressure these days, but be careful not to blow off steam in both your personal and professional aspects. But be GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) It’s decision-making time in the workplace. Use your communication talents to put your case for a promotion in the best light. In addition, a family member has news.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) A friend might resent your well-intended attempt to offer advice. Back off and let things settle down before you try again. Meanwhile, be cautious about investments.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) “Flexibility” remains your watchword at this time. Expect more changes in your plans. But stay the course, and you’ll soon enjoy smooth sailing.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Be careful about taking on added obligations at work and/or in your personal life without first checking to see whether you can handle the extra load.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Recent family problems have simmered down for the holidays, but they’re still boiling beneath the surface. Expect new support in your search for a resolution.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) A rejection is no reason for you to give up. Check to see what went wrong and make adjustments. Then try again! Success is in your aspect.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Holiday plans could include long-delayed reunions with people you loved in the past and still keep close to your heart. Reach out to them.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Things should be looking up at work, as your ideas begin to find favor with both bosses and co-workers. Romantic aspects also improve.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Opposites attract in physics, but not necessarily between humans.

Be wary of a relationship with which you don’t feel comfortable.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Be more loving with your spouse or partner to prove that you’re not taking them for granted. In addition, business deals will need careful scrutiny.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) That business decision finally can be made now that you have the facts to back it up. You could also get a surprise offer to do some holiday traveling.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) As the holidays approach, be wary of those who can take unfair advantage of your generous nature. Also, an old injury flares up and needs attention.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Your circle of friends widens as new people come into your life. An old friend urges you to reconsider travel plans that you once put aside.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Expect to see some old friends at upcoming holiday gatherings, including some who were -- and could once again be -- very special in your life.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) You have a warm and generous nature, but be careful that it doesn’t get out of control during these holiday times. Make careful decisions and stick to them.

BORN THIS WEEK: You have a strong sense of BORN THIS WEEK: You have a gift for seeing beyond the responsibility, and whatever you decide to do, you do it obvious. You also have a sense of curiosity that makes you to the best of your ability. want to discover hidden places.

Get our community reporting delivered straight to your inbox every Mon., Wed. & Fri. BIT.LY/NERVENEWSLETTER

UPCOMING SPECIAL ISSUES NOVEMBER 29 | BEST IN THE NEST DECEMBER 27 | NEW YEAR’S EVE GUIDE

Trivia Answers

LEO (July 23 to August 22) You relish being surrounded by the bright lights of the holiday season, but be careful that they don’t blind you from seeing the true motives behind a friend’s recent behavior.

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LEO (July 23 to August 22) A difficult situation will need more than your personal charm to resolve it. Put that Leonine intelligence to work, and you’ll soon come up with a prudent solution.

5. Quid pro quo.

6. Sailfish.

7. China.

8. Eight minutes.

9. Rhode Island.

10. Canker sore.

in a way you’ll later regret. Opt for a calm discussion to air careful not to allow holiday pressures to erupt and cause out grievances. new problems.

1. Gale.

2. Four: California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas.

3. The Holy Grail.

4. “Desperate Housewives.”

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) You might be enjoying your new relationship, but if you’re still unsure of a commitment, continue to hold off. Your instincts are usually right.

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

8. What are tell-tale signs a relationship is doomed?

SAVAGE LOVE

FORENSIC FILES Quickies

BY DAN SAVAGE

1. I met a man whose wife was very ill. Their relationship was no longer sexual and he was in a caretaker role but seeking release. We fell in love and he promised to marry me when his wife passes. That was five years ago. I know he isn’t lying about his wife’s illness, but I no longer want to wait. The only leverage I have is telling his wife and kids, which I would never do. It would destroy him and destroy us. But I’m drunk right now and I need you tell me I shouldn’t.

You absolutely shouldn’t — unless you want stoned CNN viewers to root against the detectives investigating your murder in a future episode of Forensic Files.

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2. Straight boy in the big city who sometimes plays the Bull for cuck couples. Went in for a second job interview and the boss was a man whose wife I’d fucked in front of him a year ago. There was lots of verbal abuse that his wife initiated (and I played along with) but their thing was too intense and I politely declined to meet up with them again. I didn’t get the job, and I’m pretty sure I know why. I still have his wife’s phone number. Do I have any recourse here?

5. I’m a 50-year-old man. My spouse, 46, is in the process of transitioning from male to female.

I want to be sensitive to this experience and don’t want to ask hurtful questions, but there are just things I don’t know. For instance, how do most people in her position feel about their male appendage? I’m hesitant to initiate any intimacy now.

Even if you knew how most MTF folks feel about their male appendages — and even if I knew how most MTF folks feel about their male appendages — neither of us knows how your particular MTF spouse feels about her male appendage. It’s entirely possible your spouse feels the way most trans women feel … or she could hold a minority opinion. So, you’re going to have to ask her.

Whatever she feels about her male appendage, broaching the subject is one way of letting her know you’re still attracted to her and still wanna be intimate.

6. I am a woman who has plentiful orgasms very easily and a WAP. I prefer a larger-than average penis, which apparently is common (according to some studies) among women who orgasm a lot, because I need to have my cervix rammed to feel completely satisfied. I don’t want You don’t — unless you want stoned CNN viewers to to be this way and I feel a little ashamed since it’s root against the detectives investigating your murder in something men can’t change about themselves. a future episode of Forensic Files.

What do I do if I meet someone who is otherwise a very compatible partner, however, physically 3. I have some questions about pronouns. I get through no fault of his own, can’t give me what he/him, she/her and they/them but not he/they or I need sexually? I like it to be a big enough dick she/they. This has been a discussion with friends that it hurts a little. and family. Personally, I want people to identify with their truth. But I still don’t understand he/ Guys with big dicks are great, but guys — big or they or she/they. Can you make it make sense? small — who are secure enough with their dicks to occasionally strap on a big dildo are even better. Find Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to make to make one of them. a good faith effort to remember the unique and sometimes unpredictable pronoun preferences of everyone 7. What does it mean when a girl looks at you we meet. We also have the option of training ourselves and runs her finger around her lips like in a circle to never, ever use pronouns at all, in reference to anyone, with her lips open? Round the world? I wanna give ever again. (She/they, he/they: “I may identify with you a rim job? She did it at me like three times, and present as my natal/biological/assigned sex BUT I Dan. I want to interpret this the right way. I’m a CONTAIN MULTITUDES, bitches!”) straight guy who doesn’t get much, but I think maybe this gal is interested? Yay or nay?

4. Sex with hubs is boring now but I have no new fantasies. How do I get into it again?

If this girl was in your league (be honest), it means she wants it. If this girl was out of your league, it means If the relationship is open, fuck some other people, she takes cash or Venmo … or she was secretly filming alone and together. If the relationship is closed, fuck you for her prank YouTube channel. Proceed with each other someplace you haven’t fucked before — at caution. the office, at a sex club, in the ass, etc.

I wanna be glib POS and say, “Asking yourself — or asking an advice columnist — that particular question is one of the signs,” but that isn’t true. Everyone in truly long-term relationship (5+ years) has wondered at some point whether their relationship was doomed.

No, the truly tell-tale signs — the Four Horsemen of Relationship Apocalypse, according to John Gottman and Julie Schwarz Gottman of the Gottman Institute — are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

Learn more at their website, gottman.com.

— paired with sustained eye contact. It’s a great way to remind the person whose dick is in your mouth that they don’t have all the power, since you could tear that cock off with your teeth at any moment.

14. What other kink-minded dating apps are out there besides Fetlife and Feeld?

Any dating app is a kink-minded dating app so long as you’re prepared to be open and honest about your kinks. But no one — not even other kinky people — will want to see a list of fetishes or kinks on a non-kinky dating app. Just drop a hint: “GGG seeking GGG.”

9. I’m wanting to get into fisting, but my boy15. Can you fuck university faculty after you’ve friend isn’t into it. We are open. How do I go about graduated? it? How do I even get started?

So far as I’m concerned, yes — but I write sex “Open and honest communication about your needs columns, not university conduct codes. and your partner’s needs is always the most important thing, whatever you’re into,” said Jazzmatazz, the fisting 16. I’m a 50+ male. In the past five to 10 years, blogger who cohosts the Such FFun podcast. “Two it seems like the skin on my penis has gotten more fisting-specific tips: Train with toys first, solo and with fragile. Where I used to be able to masturbate partners. And find some experienced fisters in your for as long as I liked, I have started getting an area — guys you feel you can trust — who are up for abrasion where my thumb rubs if I do it too long. showing you the ropes. Then explore and have fun!”

I don’t think I have changed anything and have never been a “death grip” guy. I’m sure you are 10. Is it safe to mix X-Lube with piss? going to suggest lube, but I just don’t like the clean-up afterwards. Is this just an unavoidable Since X-Lube is powdered lubricant (just add water) byproduct of aging or is there something to be that’s popular with fist-fuckers and since I already had done to toughen it up?

Jazzmatazz on the line, I passed your question to him: “Your large intestine has one job: absorbing water,” said As we age, our skin becomes thinner, and our Jazzmatazz. “Piss in your butt will get absorbed, with or orgasms take a little longer to achieve. So, even if you’re without X-Lube. If you trust the quality of the piss, go not stroking your aging dick any harder, you are stroking for it.” your aging dickskin a little longer than you used to. Pick You can find Jazzmatazz on Twitter @jazzmatazzoz and your poison: beating holes in your dick and bleeding out the Such FFun podcast — now in its fourth year — on all or using some lube and having to do a little clean up. The podcasting platforms and on Twitter @SuchFFun. choice seems obvious to me.

11. Is it normal during a foursome (FMFM) for one couple to forbid any kissing?

17. Why do I want to keep sending dirty videos to a guy I know is bad news?

It’s not unheard of for a couple in an open relationship — even a couple who swings together — to hold something back. Some couples only “soft swap,” meaning they only engage in oral and mutual masturbation when they play with others; some couples don’t play with others in the bed they share or their time zone where they live. For this couple, it’s kissing. People are allowed to rule anything in and anything out, and what may seem trivial to you — if you’re fucking other people why not kiss them? — could have deep emotional significance for the couple you played with.

Because knowing you shouldn’t makes it 10 times hotter.

12. How to deal with tears, fissures, and inflamed bowels as a tight gay bottom?

Is he ever! With apologies to Little Richard: a ping pong a ling ping a lop pang poom!

Use tons of lube, take things very slowly, stop at any sign of pain or discomfort, play solo (no pressure not to bail), and make sure your sex partners know — in advance — that they’re not guaranteed anal to completion (no one is) and that you won’t tolerate pouting or pressure if you do have to bail. Also remind them that oral or mutual masturbation — the acts you’ll pivot to if you have to bail on anal — are great sex, not sad consolation prizes.

19. Does the refractory period get longer as you get older?

13. Best BJ trick?

A gentle bite — just a little pressure applied with the teeth at a moment when the dick isn’t sliding in or out

18. How does your expert gaydar react to Speaker of the House Mike Johnson? When I heard that his wife is a conversion therapist and that he has a phone app to try to keep him accountable for his porn use, I immediately thought, “Yeah, gay porn for sure.” Given his toxic homophobia, I automatically suspect a self-loathing closet case.

Is he pinging on your gaydar?

Indeed, it does.

20. You suck.

Indeed, I do.

Send your question to mailbox@savage.love; podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love

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