WAVE THE RED FLAG
Code Red Comedy is a hilarious training ground for fledgling comics
By Dezanii Lewis
News: Charlotte quickly becoming a hub for fencing pg. 4
Food & Drink: Owners at Tyber, Dandelion & Workman’s wrestle with change pg. 10
rpitkin@qcnerve.com
DIGITAL
AIDEN SIOBHAN aiden@triad-city-beat.com
AD SALES EXECUTIVE RENN WILSON rwilson@qcnerve.com
TABLE OF CONTENTS
NEWS & OPINION
4. Get to the Point by Annie Keough Charlotte is becoming a hub for fencing talent
5. Lifeline: Ten Cool Things To Do in Two Weeks
ARTS & CULTURE
6. Wave the Red Flag by Dezanii Lewis Code Red Comedy shows serve as hilarious training ground for fledgling comics
MUSIC
8. If You Build It... by Rayne Antrim Heaven Seven zine showcases Charlotte’s DIY scene
9. Soundwave
FOOD & DRINK
10. The Wind at Their Back by Ryan Pitkin Team behind popular Charlotte establishments pushes through a tumultuous time
LIFESTYLE
12. Horoscope 13. Puzzles 14. Savage Love
Thanks to our contributors: Billy Collins, Brian Toomey, and Dan Savage. PUBLISHER
GET TO THE POINT
Charlotte is becoming a hub for fencing talent
BY ANNIE KEOUGH
Fencing in Charlotte has come a long way over the last two decades, and Brian Toomey has played a large role in that growth.
According to Toomey, owner and coach at Charlotte Fencing Academy, local fencers in the 1990s had to train wherever they could find space — small back rooms or basements in rec centers, churches and warehouses. Air conditioning was a rare luxury.
In 2002, Toomey opened Charlotte Fencing Academy with a goal to create a more professional environment for aspiring fencers in the Queen City.
Over the course of the school’s 22-year run, Toomey has witnessed the fencing scene in Charlotte evolve, as it has in other cities. Fencing academies are now in almost every major US city.
USA Fencing has done what it can to support that growth, launching its Fencing the Gap initiative in 2022 with a goal to bring fencing to more people through scholarships, mini-grants and incentives for athletes, coaches and clubs.
This year, with the backing of national nonprofit All Kids Play, the initiative will increase its funding allocations by 42% from $30,000 to $42,500.
The work Toomey and others have done locally to grow fencing culminated in national recognition in February this year when the Charlotte Convention Center became the site of the 2024 Junior Olympics and Parafencing North American Cups.
The games are set to return to Charlotte next year as the city continues to see fencing grow and evolve.
Keeping it local
USA Fencing, also known as the United States Fencing Association (USFA), has found Charlotte a welcoming host.
USFA spokesperson Bryan Wendell told Queen City Nerve that Charlotte stays on its shortlist for host partners, an advantageous bias to have, according to Toomey.
“Anytime a national fencing event comes into Charlotte, it creates a great opportunity for our
local fencers to actually see a high-level fencing tournament,” Toomey said. “It helps them invest more into the sport, which makes it easier for us as coaches to instruct them.”
Fencing, like any other competitive sport, requires a remarkable investment of time to become a serious contender. To qualify for the Junior Olympics, athletes must have at least 110 points in the regional point standings, typically placing them in the top 65% of regional competitions consistently. Charlotte is included in Region 6, which spans from Washington, DC to Florida.
Fencers can also qualify by placing in the top 25% of the local division qualifying competition. For most fencers, it takes a few years to be at a skill level to qualify, though there have been exceptions, Toomey said.
The tournament gives local fencers access to physical vendors for equipment purchases rather than gambling on inconsistent sizing from online stores.
The biggest expense faced by top fencers, however, is travel, said Toomey. National level fencers looking to increase national ranking must
attend up to nine events across the country — that’s not including all the smaller tournaments or camps athletes frequent as well.
Hosting a tournament on the Olympic scale in Charlotte allows top fencers and their support systems a break from traveling across the country for events.
The return of the Junior Olympics to Charlotte in 2025 is an enormous success for the academy, Toomey said, especially announced as early as it was. That gives local fencers more time to target and execute goals, an essential for individual and academy growth and a critical inspiration to help them compete in their first national tournament experience.
It’s not just Charlotte that is hosting major tournaments in North Carolina. Greensboro will host its third Amateur Athletic Union’s Junior Olympics from July 27-Aug. 3, with the fencing portion set to take place at the Greensboro Coliseum from July 29-31.
Serving all skill levels
Charlotte Fencing Academy offers introductory classes and camps with age divisions spanning from 10 and under to ages 70 and up.
While Charlotte Fencing Academy is the largest fencing school in Charlotte, it’s not the only option for athletes eager to learn the sport. Triple Threat Fencing in Monroe and On Point Fencing in Clover, South Carolina are a few area academies with good reputations, according to Toomey.
For Lacey Maddox, Charlotte Fencing Academy is the only option.
Maddox competes nationally in the Vet-40 (Veteran aged 40+) women’s foil, which employs
a lightweight sword. She finished third at the 2024 USA Fencing Summer Nationals in Columbus, Ohio in July. Her goal is to make the Vet-40 World Team for the coming 2024-25 season. She is currently ranked fourth nationally in her age group.
“I’m so grateful for Brian’s coaching and support of my fencing goals,” Maddox said. “Charlotte Fencing Academy is a wonderful club because of its people and how we all strive to improve and help each other.”
Toomey also coaches several students on track for the Olympics: Eva Campbell, Sebastian Glennon and Henry Bui. Campbell came in eighth out of 252 fencers at Summer Nationals, placing her at 28th nationally among the 17-and-under age group.
Glennon and Bui finished first in Region 6 for their respective age groups and will be receiving their gold patch from USFA.
While that cohort is impressive, the academy trains everyone from casual recreational fencers to competitive fencers on track for national success, priding itself on helping fencers align and realize their goals, Toomey said.
That wasn’t the case back when he launched Charlotte Fencing Academy, but in order for the sport and academy to grow as a whole, it’s important to reach all skill levels, he said.
“Not everyone who plays a random pickup game of soccer, basketball, baseball, or football is looking to or able to play at the upper echelon. But people still love it because it’s fun,” Toomey said.
“As far as I’m concerned, as long as fencers have an aim, whether recreational or competitive, and are realistic about what it takes to achieve that aim, then we’ve got a place for them.”
AKEOUGH@QCNERVE.COM
PHOTO BY BRIAN TOOMEY
CHARLOTTE FENCING ACADEMY OPENED IN 2002.
MAJOR. W/ RASPY SOUL, RAY SINGLETON, VAHN BLACK
As an actor and humanitarian, he’s Major Johnson Finley, but as a soul artist, he’s MAJOR., making an impact in whatever medium he decides to place his focus on. With half-a-billion digital streams, four independent solo projects, award-winning roles in network TV shows, movies, national tours, and the MAJOR.HOPE Foundation, this self-described “hope dealer” is making change in many fields. His latest EP, The Hope of My Soul, mixes soul, gospel and Americana in hopeful tracks like “Joy In The Battle.” He’ll have support from fellow soul singers like Virginia Beach’s Raspy Soul, the bluesy and jazzy Vahn Black, and Charlotte’s own Ray Singleton.
More: $27.50-$35; July 25, 8 p.m.; Neighborhood Theatre, 511 E. 36th St.; neighborhoodtheatre.com
SPLASH POLE SHOWCASE
Splash is an adult movement and aerial arts studio based in Wilmington that offers pole-dance classes as well as yoga, lyra and fitness workshops. The studio puts together monthly choreographed classes based on specific songs. For example, July’s schedule included a Blaze Pole Choreo set to Latto’s “Bitch From Da Souf” and a Heels 101 Pole Choreo set to Doja Cat’s “Tia Tamera.” Starlight on 22nd hosts 20 local and regional pole dancers who will show what they’ve learned at one of the state’s top pole-dancing studios.
More: $20-$35; July 27, 8:30-11 p.m.; Starlight on 22nd, 422 E. 22nd St.; starlighton22nd.com
BLACK ART MATTERS: THE POP-UP
Launched by Pasadena-based creative Chasity London, Black Art Matters: The Pop-Up is dedicated to showcasing the richness of Black creativity and fostering growth in a supportive community. Renowned for organizing underground music festivals beginning in 2010, London transitioned from East LA hostels to beachside penthouses. Her influence spans the United States, as she tours the country creating pivotal opportunities for diverse artists. The pop-up makes its first stop in Charlotte with captivating art exhibitions, live performances and soul food, not to mention an opportunity to pursue wares from more than 70 Black-owned vendors showcasing their unique talents during this celebration of resilience, creativity and community.
More: $30 and up; July 28, 1-10 p.m.; PINE, 4100 Raleigh St.; blackartmattersthepopup.com
MXMTOON
Having spent recent weeks opening for pop trio AJR on their tour, mxmtoon is branching off and headlining some shows of her own, as the YouTube-grown singersongwriter brings her “post-post apocalyptic dance party” to the Music Factory. The Brooklyn-based artist rose to internet fame in 2017 with her YouTube vlogs and Twitch streams, performing songs and playing games like Animal Crossing: New Horizons. She has since crossed over into more mainstream popularity with her lo-fi bedroom pop songs, often employing a ukulele in her performances. Given her road to stardom, it’s not surprising that she remains linked to the video game industry, as the 24-year-old’s most popular single to date was first released as the lead track to PlayStation’s LEGO Horizon Adventures game soundtrack.
More: $41.25-$81.50; July 29, 8 p.m.; The Underground, 820 Hamilton St.; fillmorenc.com
HEY, NOTHING
Two 19-year-olds from just outside of Atlanta, Tyler Mabry and Harlow Philips met eight years ago and have spent much of the time since crafting their earworm indie-folk tracks, which combine the melodic stylings of Modern Baseball with the lyrical wit of Pinegrove. Their 2023 debut album, We’re Starting To Look Like Each Other, mixes electric guitar-driven punk-adjacent bangers with more traditional folk ballads. The duo incorporates reallife experiences into their genuine lyrics, with a nuanced perspective that lends a certain nostalgia to the hardships of their childhood. Having initially risen to fame on TikTok, the band quickly secured a position touring with fellow folk-pop group The 502s.
More: $20; July 30, 7:30 p.m.; The Evening Muse, 3227 N. Davidson St.; eveningmuse.com
JAVIER PIZARRO W/ SWANSGATE, MANTRA
“Something is wrong with me/ I don’t know where I’m supposed to go/ Or what I’m supposed to do…” croons local singer/songwriter, keyboardist and filmmaker Javier Pizarro in the funky 2020 single “How That Shit Go.” If you’re in the same boat, the answer is clear: Head to Snug Harbor for Pizarro’s headlining gig, where Pizarro will be joined by other regional acts including Swansgate, a trio that began in Greenville and made their way to Charlotte, all the while adapting their sound from jazz to a more compositional, symphonic approach. There’s also Mantra, the Charleston indie-rock band currently working on their anticipated debut album, Quarterlife
More: $12; July 31, 9 p.m.; Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St.; snugrock.com
SHANA BLAKE’S MUSICAL MENAGERIE
There is an entire community of local musicians and music fans that found themselves without a true home when the famed Double Door Inn closed in 2017. One of those musicians was Shana Blake, who once fronted the Monday Night Allstars, an impressive collective of blues musicians who got the Double Door hopping every Monday night with unforgettable jam sessions. The band tried to keep things going with a residency at Visulite following Double Door’s closure, but it never quite caught on. Blake, however, is hosting her own weekly jam at Smokey Joe’s, where her fellow MNA artist Jim Brock also makes a weekly appearance on Wednesdays. It may not be what it once was, but the legend of the Monday Night Allstars lives on at Smokey Joe’s.
More: Free; Aug. 1, 9-midnight; Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar, 510 Briar Creek Road; facebook.com/sjc.bar.on.briarcreek
I CAME TO SEE THE RAINBOW ART SHOW
This month’s art show at Petra’s will be a showcase for queer artists and performers, with 20 Charlotte artists contributing to the new exhibit in Petra’s Art Lounge and an opening show with performances by neo-soul jazz trio The Bleus; Winston-Salem-based dark, alt dreampop duo Feyleux; and Zulynette, the Puerto Rican storyteller, poet, and art activism extraordinaire who will also have work included in the exhibit. Shiprocked! founder DJ Scott Weaver keeps the night moving with chill summer vibes on the back patio while Plaza Midwood’s No. 1 trailer park drag queen Ilean Dawn Dover MCs the festivities inside.
More: $7-$10; Aug. 2, 8 p.m.; Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave.; petrasbar.com
COLLECT-A-CON
The nation’s largest trading card, anime and pop culture convention swings through Charlotte, bringing a number of special guests with it. The most recognizable name on the agenda is Walker, Texas Ranger himself, Chuck Norris, joined by a slew of original Power Rangers: Amy Jo Johnson (pink), Walter E. Jones (black) and David Yost (blue). Other guests to check for include Charles Martinet, who voiced Mario, Luigi, Wario and Waluigi, plus a wide range of other anime voice actors, influencers and content creators. Also expect live shows from the Ying Yang Twins and Jason Paige, who will perform his “Pokemon Theme.” More: $25 and up; Aug. 3, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. & Aug. 4, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Charlotte Convention Center, 501 S. College St.; collectaconusa.com/charlotte
REAL MADRID VS. CHELSEA
Some folks say that Chelsea FC hasn’t been the same since they were run out of Bank of America Stadium by Charlotte FC during penalty kicks in a 2022 friendly. OK, maybe that’s a little hyperbolic, but we won’t forget. Anyway, Chelsea is back in Charlotte to avenge another heartbreaking 2022 loss — one that actually counted. Real Madrid beat Chelsea to advance to the semifinals of the Champions League that year, winning in extra time despite a heroic comeback from the Blues. This Soccer Championships Tour matchup should be an electric one, and BofA Stadium is guaranteed to be hopping on a Tuesday night.
More: $75 and up; Aug. 6, 7 p.m.; Bank of America Stadium, 800 S. Mint St.; panthers.com/stadium
WAVE THE RED FLAG
Code Red Comedy shows serve as hilarious training ground for fledgling comics
BY DEZANII LEWIS
If there’s one thing that most comedians can agree on, it’s that there are a number of landmines to maneuver when on stage. It doesn’t matter if it’s stand-up or improv, comics have to be quick on their feet.
Most comics have to figure out how to navigate that landscape on their own, but here in Charlotte, they’ve got Code Red Comedy, a monthly comedy showcase and competition show.
What makes Code Red Comedy different from your average competition is that the landmines are guaranteed.
“In the most basic form, it’s a stand-up comedy show, but it’s different because it’s a competition,” said Carlos Valencia, co-host of the show. “The way that we make it original is that the comics have to deal with adversities during their sets. The concept behind that is that we’re trying to put them through realistic obstacles or interruptions.”
Participants can expect anything from loud noises and sound effects to hecklers planted in the crowd — they might even have to deal with technical difficulties like the mic cutting in and out. Whichever comedian handles their situation the best while performing their set, wins the show.
These interruptions pose challenges for the competing comedians while adding to the fun atmosphere for those in the audience, who can be sure that Code Red will not be like any other comedy show they’ve attended.
Valencia hosts the show alongside fellow Charlotte comics Kaleigh Cutright and Jordan Centry. The hosting trio engages with the comedians after their set for about a minute or so, helping them to connect further with the audience.
“The comics also have a chance to riff and engage on a more personal level outside of their actual stand-up sets,” Valencia said.
Joe Kuhlmann, co-owner of Evening Muse in NoDa, where the Code Red Comedy shows take place, approached Valencia in 2023 about hosting a show that could help engage the Charlotte comedy scene.
From there, Valencia worked with his team to come up with the best idea for a comedy show. They took aspects of known competitions like Last Comic
Standing and mixed them with pieces of popular comedy stage show Kill Tony to come up with Code Red Comedy, a competitive comedic bootcamp.
According to Valencia, the interruptions aren’t meant to make a fool of the participating comics but to serve as an academy of sorts for fledgling performers.
“It’s an obstacle course to prep you for what it’s like to actually do stand-up comedy on the road in venues that are basically less than ideal,” he said. “When you’re starting out, you’re doing a lot of shows in bars and coffee shops and places that just aren’t made for performances. So you have to deal with a lot of this stuff.”
“It’s a training course for upcoming stand-ups,” he added.
The winner each month gets $100 and a chance to come back to headline a future show.
Going Code Red
As a comedian who’s been doing comedy for 19 years, Valencia wasn’t interested in organizing a new show when Kuhlmann first approached him. He’d rather stick to the stage and stay away from all the marketing aspects that go with hosting and organizing shows.
“I just don’t like promoting shows,” he said. “I’ve been doing stand-up for a long time, but I just have never liked promoting because it’s a pain in the ass with the whole advertising and everything else that comes with producing a show.”
Kuhlman was persistent, however, and Valencia was eventually persuaded once he understood the idea.
“[Kuhlmann] just wanted to do something that was a little bit more curated, so it was more of a showcase,” Valencia said. “Also just partially to unite the comedy scene — have one show at least that is geared towards getting everybody together or trying to help each other out. That’s what appealed to me at the beginning.”
Valencia also appreciated the fact that, for one of the first times in his nearly 20-year career, a venue
was approaching him to do a show rather than the other way around.
“Part of the reason I agreed to do it is because Joe approached me about it, which is not the usual dynamic with a lot of independent comedy shows,” Valencia said. “Usually, it’s the comic approaching the venue and trying to convince the venue to like, ‘Hey, please let me do this.’ So having the venue on our side is a big plus.”
Kuhlmann plays an integral part of the show; as the ever-present soundman of the Muse, he’s in charge of implementing many of the interruptions that comics face during Code Red Comedy shows.
The three hosts and Kuhlman now operate as a team, meaning Valencia doesn’t plan on taking the show anywhere else.
“Since [Kuhlmann’s] on board and he’s on the ball about it, we can’t really do the show anywhere else unless it was a place that was willing to put the work into it,” he said. “Most places are just not going to want to bother with all that.”
On high alert
The Code Red Comedy shows were originally launched as Red Flag Comedy, though a conflict of interest with another comedy group in Indiana operating under the same name forced Valencia and the team to change the name.
Each show features seven comics who take the
PHOTO BY BILLY COLLINS LEFT TO RIGHT: CARLOS VALENCIA, KALEIGH CUTRIGHT, JORDAN CENTRY, LA REDD, ASHLEY
ARTS FEATURE
stage, and six of the seven deal with interruptions.
“The reason we have that is because part of dealing with the show is also the anxiety of, ‘I wonder what’s going to happen when I go out there,’” Valencia said. “So one person might not get anything at all.”
The setup works multiple ways: It prepares the comics for random interruptions but also forces them to come prepared since they never know which comic will get the interruptions.
“Some comics might come in with the attitude of, ‘I’m not going to even write material. I’m just going to go up there. Whatever my interruption is, I’m just going to rip off of that,’” he said. “But if you have no interruption, then you end up not doing anything. Then you’re just shit out of luck.
“I genuinely do want the comics to do their material,” Valencia continued. “The principal thing about standup, at least to me, is to write material and write jokes and be a writer, because otherwise it’s just improv.”
Valencia clarifies that there’s nothing wrong with improv, but that’s a different medium altogether, so coming to Code Red to perform improvisationally defeats the purpose of what they’re trying to do with the show.
The next Code Red Comedy show is scheduled for July 28 and will consist solely of the show’s past winners. Though the show is new, operating for just under a year, Valencia said he hopes they can do a show featuring past winners each year.
In the meantime, the team has a lot of ideas on how to grow their audience and help contribute to the Charlotte comedy scene as a whole.
For now, however, the goal remains simple.
“The whole concept of the show is to give comics a chance,” Valencia said. “I think if we can get a consistent audience, I think it could definitely help the scene because I think people will see that it’s a quality show.”
A quality show with a consistent audience benefits everyone—one more thing most comedians can agree on.
DLEWIS@QCNERVE.COM
PHOTO BY BILLY COLLINS
ASHLEY GRECO PERFORMS DURING THE DEBUT SHOW.
IF YOU BUILD IT...
Heaven Seven zine showcases Charlotte’s DIY scene
BY RAYNE ANTRIM
DIY might stand for “do it yourself,” but in all reality, surviving in the local DIY music scene often takes a community that comprises a conglomerate of bands, artists and supporters who all come together to create an underground culture that defies the mainstream.
Promoters, photographers, bloggers and dedicated fans have as big a role within the DIY scene as those who create the music. Alonso Barrera, also known as Alonso Morning, has found his role in this community with Heaven Seven Magazine.
Morning launched Heaven Seven Magazine in late 2023, describing the small publication as a DIY zine focused on Charlotte’s underground subculture. Per Morning’s mission statement, the zine is “collaged from the moleskins of local weirdos and dedicated to promoting their voices.”
Heaven Seven aims to create a space in which individuals can create, contribute and collaborate to form and cultivate a community based on supporting and inspiring others.
Morning said he was inspired to launch the zine after attending last year’s Queen City Zine Fest, an annual event that showcases local zines, comics, illustrations, chapbooks, small press editions and other self-published printed matter.
Last year’s event took place at Knight Theater in September as part of the Charlotte International Arts Festival.
“I’ve gone to Queen City Zine Fest for the last couple of years and noticed the majority of the zines are from neighboring cities like Raleigh or Greensboro. A lot of them are personal, diary entry zines. I wanted something to capture lifestyle, art and music in Charlotte,” he said.
Morning has been a creative for as long as he can remember. He started drawing at an early age while growing up in northern Mecklenburg County, then stepped up to making comics in middle school before delving into creative writing in high school.
“I was going to major in English because I always liked writing short stories,” he said. “I wanted to pursue art, but my parents said, ‘You aren’t going to
get any money off of art. If you want to make money off of art, you have to do graphic design,’ essentially saying that was my best bet.”
Morning’s parents, who are also graphic designers, had immigrated to Charlotte from Mexico. Money was tight for them and college was expensive. Although his parents supported his pursuit of making art a career, they advised him about the financial risks.
He felt he had one chance to make the right decision.
“Money was so tight, and I didn’t want to waste any of my parents or my own money. So, I went with graphic design and that’s when I started learning how cool it could be,” he explained. “It’s an amalgamation of all the creative things I’ve done before — drawing, writing, etc.”
Having something to hold on to
As time went on and Morning gained more experience in graphic design, he started exploring more creative outlets including collage art and photography to elevate his skill set.
He took up photography during the pandemic as an excuse to leave the house and be out in the world at a time when there weren’t many other reasons to do so.
As with drawing, he always had an intense interest in music. Listening to local artists and supporting them through their live shows provided a particular muse for the multidisciplinary artist. Photography gave him a new way to capture the experience of a live performance.
Morning has watched as venues have reopened and people have slowly become more comfortable attending shows, though it remained disheartening at times.
“When you go out to a show, especially on the weekdays, it’ll be you and five people that are there. A lot of people have work, which is understandable, but I didn’t see any of my friends,” he said.
Eventually, he began recognizing familiar faces regularly at the shows and created connections with
some of those people. It was like watching the scene get rebuilt, he explained. Today, he believes there’s a stronger DIY community now than there was before the pandemic.
Morning felt compelled to add his own building block to the strengthening scene, and after he attended Queen City Zine Fest, it became clear to him how he could capitalize on the many different mediums he had practiced over the years.
He knew he didn’t want to launch a blog, as he’s a firm believer that holding a physical copy is an important part of the zine experience.
“I’ve always been a fan of physical media, whether it’s CDs, records, movies … I like having them physically,” he said. “It allows you to have a connection with it.”
He believes that such media creates memories and connections in a way that other media can’t. He recalled the coffee stains he accidentally smeared on one specific cover of a zine while at a coffee shop once. He can still see the creases and tears from when he had stuffed one in his back pocket.
Having a zine he can hold and take with him when he goes out to shows or sees friends is part of that connection, too. Being able to share something physical with someone is special, he said, and it goes beyond a link or QR code.
“I always tell people who have the zine to hand it off to somebody who thinks they would like it,” he said.
Supporting other DIY artists
In Heaven Seven’s most recent issue, local avant-garde artist Mono Feo and alt-punk rockers
Subvertigo were highlighted as part of Charlotte’s thriving cultural scene. The zine features in-depth interviews with the milk-man-cop and heavy gazers describing their beginnings and influences.
As part of the issue’s launch, Heaven Seven sold limited copies at The Milestone in April, conjunct with a Wastoid show that also featured Ken Mujo, Narah, and Subvertigo. The event is a testimony to Heaven Seven’s devotion to community and the importance of connecting people within the scene to one another.
Not only did the zine’s soft launch directly support one of the bands highlighted within Morning’s work, it created another welcoming avenue for those looking to join Charlotte’s music and arts scene.
One day, Morning hopes Heaven Seven can create events based around local music and be able to promote other artists and bands through the zine.
“I want to have a community around the zine so when people are looking to get involved in the scene, they have a place to go,” he said. “I want it to be a hub for people to find other artists that they like and meet like-minded people.”
Morning’s end goal is to get more people actively involved in the DIY scene, adding that the only requirement for entry is to be as weird, or as much of yourself, as possible.
Morning asks that anyone interested in contributing to Heaven Seven send submissions of art, photography, writing, or music to 7hevenseven7@gmail.com.
RANTRIM@QCNERVE.COM
ALONSO MORNING LAUNCHED HEAVEN SEVEN MAGAZINE IN LATE 2023. COURTESY OF
WEDNESDAY, JULY 24
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Creed (PNC Music Pavilion)
Switchfoot w/ Blue October, Matt Nathanson (Skyla Amphitheatre)
Kids & Their Computers w/ Oh! You Pretty Things, The White Horse (Snug Harbor)
JAZZ/BLUES
Jazz Nights at Canteen (Camp North End)
Emanuel Wynter (Middle C Jazz)
POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ
Beats @ Birdsong (Birdsong Brewing)
SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC
Ellie Morgan (Goldie’s)
Josh Daniel, Jim Brock & Kerry Brooks (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar) OPEN MIC
Singer/Songwriter Open Mic (The Rooster)
THURSDAY, JULY 25
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Cognitive w/ Dysentery, Atrae Bilis, Dr. Blood’s Orgy of Gore (The Milestone)
Alright w/ Long Relief, With Haste! (Petra’s)
Southern Groove Machine (The Rooster)
Ravagers w/ Black Bouquet, Patois Counselors (Snug Harbor)
JAZZ/BLUES
Lindsey Webster (Middle C Jazz)
HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B
PartyNextDoor (The Fillmore)
D’Aydrian Harding (The Underground)
MAJOR. w/ Raspy Soul, Ray Singleton, Vahn Black (Neighborhood Theatre)
SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC
Tony Lucca & Keaton Simons (Evening Muse)
Garrett Huffman Band w/ Kyle Cummings (Goldie’s)
FRIDAY, JULY 26
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Bato w/ Wasted Effort, Wastoid, Corrupt Faith, S.O.G. (The Milestone)
Citizen Soldier (Neighborhood Theatre)
POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ
The Eras: Taylor Swift Dance Party (Amos’ Southend) Sweat Transfer w/ Dexter Jordan, The Platonics (Petra’s) FUNK/JAM BANDS
Boom Unit Brass Bands (Evening Muse)
Chis Reed & the Bad Kids (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Liz Longley (Evening Muse)
Brett Young w/ Restless Road (Carowinds) JAZZ/BLUES
Joey Alexander (Stage Door Theater)
Phillip-Michael Scales w/ Red Dress Amy (Camp North End)
Lindsey Webster (Middle C Jazz)
HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B
Jake Hill (The Underground)
Belis & Mia Gladstone (Snug Harbor) COVER BANDS
Kindred Cult w/ Rod Fiske (Goldie’s)
Brit Floyd (Ovens Auditorium)
Sugar (System of a Down tribute) w/ Gone Cold, Oh! You Pretty Things, Sid Stratton, Alpha Strain (The Rooster)
SATURDAY, JULY 27
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
The Aristocrats (Neighborhood Theatre)
The Thing w/ Monsoon, Pleasure House (Snug Harbor) POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ
Valentino Khan (Blackbox Theater)
Digital Noir w/ DJ Spider, DJ Deathflower (The Milestone)
The Soundwave is Queen City Nerve’s comprehensive guide to live music happening in Charlotte every night of the week. This list is pulled together by our editorial team every other week from combing through Charlotte music venue calendars and separated by genre. None of these listings are paid advertisements. We understand that many non-traditional music venues offer live music like coffee shops, breweries, art galleries, community events and more.
This list may not have every event listed. To have a venue included in the editorial compilation of this list, please send an email to info@qcnerve.com with the subject “Soundwave.”
Ultraviolet Sapphic Dance Party (Petra’s)
New Kids on the Block w/ Paula Abdul, DJ Jazzy Jeff (PNC Music Pavilion)
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Brantley Gilbert w/ Lauren Alaina (Carowinds)
FUNK/JAM BANDS
Pluto 4 Planet w/ Bald Brothers (Goldie’s)
Stratosphere (Primal Brewery)
Electric Dynamite (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)
Space Lazers & Friends (Starlight on 22nd)
SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC
Jordan Sledge (Starlight on 22nd)
JAZZ/BLUES
Joey Alexander (Stage Door Theater)
EXPERIMENTAL/MIXED-GENRE/FESTIVAL
Brewstock 2024 (The Rooster) COVER BANDS
Sickman (Alice in Chains tribute) (Amos’ Southend)
The Magic of Motown (Belk Theater)
On the Border (Eagles tribute) (Middle C Jazz)
Watkins Glen Summer Jam ’73 Revisited (Visulite Theatre)
SUNDAY, JULY 28
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Mike Strauss Band (Free Range Brewing)
Nospun w/ Turrigenous, Sometime in February, Squirt Vile (The Milestone)
POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ
Soul Sundays feat. Guy Nowchild (Starlight on 22nd)
JAZZ/BLUES
Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill)
The Justin Ray Little Big Band feat. Maria Howell & Noel Freidline (Middle C Jazz)
SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC
Shorty & Leisure (Goldie’s)
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Silverada (Amos’ Southend)
Evan Honer (The Underground)
MONDAY, JULY 29
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
As I Lay Dying (The Fillmore)
Never Have I Ever w/ Teach Me How to Dance, Flora in Silence, YTHGRP, Lindera (The Milestone)
POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ
mxmtoon (The Underground)
Hidden Temple (Snug Harbor)
JAZZ/BLUES
The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s) OPEN MIC
Find Your Muse Open Mic (Evening Muse)
TUESDAY, JULY 30
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Red Rocking Chair (Comet Grill) hey, nothing (Evening Muse)
The Doobie Brothers (PNC Music Pavilion) OPEN MIC
Open Jam Night (Crown Station)
Open Mic
WEDNESDAY, JULY 31
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Javier Pizarro w/ Swansgate, Mantra (Snug Harbor)
The New Pornographers (The Underground) SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC
Amy Broome Duo (Goldie’s) JAZZ/BLUES
Jazz Nights @ Canteen (Camp North End) POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ
Beats @ Birdsong (Birdsong Brewing) Secret Number (Blackbox Theater) Forrest Frank (The Fillmore) OPEN MIC
Singer/Songwriter Open Mic (The Rooster) Variety Open Mic (Starlight on 22nd)
THURSDAY, AUGUST 1
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Paint Fumes w/ The Girls, Blab School (Snug Harbor) JAZZ/BLUES
The Finesse Band w/ Terence Young (Middle C Jazz) POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ
Gabe Lee w/ Sophie Vault (Evening Muse) SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC
Lisa De Novo Band w/ Pluto Duo (Goldie’s) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
NC Bluegrass Jam Night (Birdsong Brewing)
Mountain Grass Unit (Visulite Theatre) FUNK/JAM BANDS
Shana Blake’s Musical Menagerie (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)
FRIDAY, AUGUST 2
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill)
Fo Daniels w/ Frute (Evening Muse)
Newgrounds Death Rugby w/ Postcard Nowhere, Stress Fractures, Trivia Night Rivals, Peach Rings (The Milestone) Caspian (The Underground)
Limp Bizkit w/ BONES, N8NOFACE, Corey Feldman, Riff Raff (PNC Music Pavilion)
The Coursing w/ Heathensun, Seemless Vision, Two Stroke Smoke, Jtwo Pharaoh, Blak Bart (The Rooster)
Bask w/ Of Sinking Ships, Mindvac (Snug Harbor)
George Huntley w/ Mike Garrigan (Visulite Theatre)
JAZZ/BLUES
Brandon Stevens & Vince ‘Keyz’ Stevens (Middle C Jazz) SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC
Stop Light Observations (Evening Muse)
Parks Brothers Band w/ Sam & Illia (Goldie’s)
POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ
Tita Lau (Blackbox Theater)
FUNK/JAM BANDS
Nero Tindal IV (Camp North End) COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
Jamey Johnson (Skyla Amphitheatre) EXPERIMENTAL/MIXED-GENRE/FESTIVAL
The Bleus w/ Feyleux, Zulynette, DJ Scott Weaver (Petra’s) CHRISTIAN/GOSPEL/RELIGIOUS
Skillet w/ 10 Years (Carowinds)
COVER BANDS
Joe Hero (Foo Fighters tribute) w/ Shoot to Thrill (AC/DC tribute) (Amos’ Southend)
SATURDAY, AUGUST 3
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Sugar Ray w/ Better Than Ezra, Tonic (Carowinds)
The Band Camino (The Fillmore)
Litter Kitten w/ Consumer Culture, Flowers for Emily, Raatma, Momophobia (The Milestone)
Juan Wauters w/ Bravo Pueblo, Dantek (Petra’s)
I Prevail w/ Halestorm (PNC Music Pavilion)
Direct Threat w/ Instructor, Gen Gap, Scramble, The Mask (Snug Harbor)
JAZZ/BLUES
Robbie Cunningham (Middle C Jazz)
Liam & the Nerdy Blues (Primal Brewery) FUNK/JAM BANDS
Into the Fog w/ Local Boys (Neighborhood Theatre)
COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA
The Mystery Plan (3102 VisArt)
Justin Wells w/ W.D. Miller (Evening Muse)
LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE
Ramón Ayala (Ovens Auditorium)
FAMILY
The Jolly Lollies (Camp North End) COVER BANDS
Separate Ways (Journey tribute) (Amos’ Southend)
Chasing Phoenix w/ Annie Haden (Goldie’s)
Trial by Fire (Journey tribute) (The Rooster)
Jerry Garcia Band Cover Band (Visulite Theatre)
SUNDAY, AUGUST 4
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
The Band Camino (The Fillmore)
Deceptor w/ Morbid Cross, Neverfall, Fault Reset (The Milestone)
Cage the Elephant (PNC Music Pavilion) SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC
Jack Botts (Evening Muse)
Allison & Jake (Goldie’s)
JAZZ/BLUES
Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill)
J. White (Middle C Jazz)
POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ
DJ Taz Infinite: VKC ’90s Kickback (The Rooster) FUNK/JAM BANDS
Celestial Company (Free Range Brewing)
MONDAY, AUGUST 5
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Abyecta w/ Inverted Cross, Mutant Strain, S.O.G. (The Milestone)
POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ
Hidden Temple (Snug Harbor) OPEN MIC
Find Your Muse Open Mic (Evening Muse)
TUESDAY, AUGUST 6
ROCK/PUNK/METAL
Red Rocking Chair (Comet Grill)
Kevin & the Bikes w/ Motocrossed, Gingerbee, Could Be Better, Lobsterfight (The Milestone) OPEN MIC
Open Jam Night (Crown Station)
Tosco Music Open Mic (Evening Muse)
Open Mic Night feat. The Smokin J’s (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)
FOOD & DRINK
THE WIND AT THEIR B ACK
Team behind popular Charlotte establishments pushes through a tumultuous time
BY RYAN PITKIN
When I asked Tommy Timmins what he and his two business partners call their company — the bar and restaurant group through which they operate popular establishments including The Workman’s Friend, Connolly’s on Fifth, Prohibition, The Daily, Tyber Creek Pub and Dandelion Market — he didn’t really have an answer.
In the early aughts, when Timmins came together with current partners Maynard Goble and Devin Kevin, the trio began referring to their group as Best Bars for marketing purposes. Google was rapidly rising to popularity as America’s favorite search engine and the guys figured they wanted their businesses to show up when folks searched for “best bars in Charlotte.”
“We’ve adopted that name, but we don’t have one really,” Timmins told me. “That’s how people know us, but we don’t have a name per se.”
While perhaps a frustrating answer to a journalist looking for a succinct brand to help label all these establishments spread throughout town, it gave a glimpse at a certain knack for marketing that placed the Best Bars team ahead of the curve from its very beginnings 25 years ago.
Later in our interview, Timmins and Goble called back to their “Smile for Smacky” advertising series, the weekly Tyber Creek Pub print ads that would run in Creative Loafing, consisting of Polaroid-style photos taken of bargoers having fun at the pub each week.
Folks would pick up the paper just to flip to the ad and see if they made it into print each week. The ad series was a precursor to online photo sites like Carolina Nightlife and Lazyday that would become popular in the years to follow, not to mention Facebook and Instagram.
Not only had the Best Bars trio worked SEO into their strategy before it became a common term for marketers, they had launched their own style
of social media in print form before Instagram had even been invented.
These are just two examples of how the team behind some of Charlotte’s most popular nightlife establishments has been able to keep so many different businesses running consistently and successfully for two decades.
In recent years, however, with the onset of COVID-19 and everything that’s followed, the job has felt more like juggling.
In March, Tyber Creek Pub closed its doors at the corner of South Boulevard and Tremont Avenue for the last time after 25 years due to redevelopment of the property that had been slated since 2021.
Then on July 21, the team shut down Dandelion Market, the longtime late-night staple on West 5th Street in Uptown, after nearly 15 years in business.
“It’s a difficult decision, but we’ve been in ongoing rent negotiations and will not be able to come to a resolution,” Timmins stated in a press release announcing the closure. “Any rent increase, significant or otherwise in this current market is simply not sustainable for the long term. It’s been an unbelievable run for Dandelion Market and we’re grateful for everyone who made it an uptown fixture these past 15 years.”
When I met with them at Workman’s Friend on a recent Friday afternoon, the team was far from dejected. Having closed on a new property on South Mint Street in February, they’ve been busy bringing the buildings there up to par for the return of Tyber Creek Pub.
With future plans for a new Dandelion Market location also in the works, they’ve purchased the former Soul Gastrolounge food truck to turn it into a Dandelion Market truck that will serve favorites from that menu at the new Tyber Creek site.
With all these exciting new projects in motion, the team remains optimistic about the state of Best
Bars amidst Charlotte’s rapid growth.
Still, they yearn for the days when they had the time to come up with ideas like Smile for Smacky.
“We want to be bored again; we like being bored because that’s when creativity happens,” Timmins told me. “We’ve been playing Whac-A-Mole for the last five years. From 2020 to ‘25 coming up, it’s been close everything down, reopen — Tyber, then now Dandelion. We’re excited to get everything where it needs to live and then get bored, get inspired, and see what the next chapter is going to be.”
Witnessing the rapid growth of Charlotte
When Timmins opened Tyber Creek in 1999, he did so with different partners than he has today.
Devin, an Irish native who had been working at Rí Rá Irish Pub on North Tryon Street, joined Timmins in 2001 to open Connolly’s on Fifth.
Goble, who also worked at Rí Rá, joined Timmins and Devin shortly thereafter to help run Tyber Creek as they were opening Madison’s Bar & Lounge, which would later become Prohibition. The first project that all three opened together was Dandelion Market in 2010.
The Best Bars establishments have certain throughlines that are obvious enough if you look for them, with a heavy leaning toward the early 20thcentury, traditional Irish aesthetic throughout.
The team has had a front-row seat to witness major changes in both Uptown and South End.
When Timmins opened Tyber Creek Pub in 1999, the
historic building had been home to four different restaurants over the previous 10 years.
“It was sinking down off of [South Boulevard] and everyone was like, ‘What is that?’” he recalled. “I’m driving by it, I don’t even know. Is it open? Is it not? It took a lot of doing to get people to know that we were there and that we were going to stay.
As the neighborhood evolved from industrial warehouses to apartment complexes and popular hangouts — especially after the opening of the Blue Line in 2007 — Timmins’ investment paid off.
“As things evolved in South End, the first couple of years were not great. The next five were good. The last 10 were extraordinary,” he said. “It’s great when you can stick around long enough to reap those benefits. Sometimes when you’re around long enough, the neighborhood can change in the other way … It could be this is where everybody used to go, and then it shifts. We’ve been fortunate enough to have the upswing.”
A similar story played out in Uptown, where the team’s arrival on East 5th Street preceded the Spectrum Center. It also predated (and outlived) the Epicentre.
“We’ve set up shop there on 5th Street for a long time; we like it because we can touch and feel it. There’s always been that energy,” Timmins said. “Then the arena came and it’s really a destination. Epicentre came, that was a huge pull for Uptown, and there was a lot of synergy … We’re onsite still after all these years. We’ve got a great team, great managers, so we’re able to manage it really well
MAYNARD GOBLE (LEFT) AND TOMMY TIMMINS AT THE WORKMAN’S FRIEND
PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN
FOOD & DRINK
because we can touch and feel it. With that being said, it’s still a great block and it’s going to continue to be.”
Though experiencing their share of ups and downs throughout the first two decades of the 21st century, the team was able to continue on successfully thanks to a unified vision and a penchant for signing long-term leases — 15 or 20 years in most cases.
The latter has allowed them to dodge many of the issues around rent increases in Charlotte, though it also means that when time for new negotiations comes up, the increase in cost might be exponential compared to when they signed on.
“It’s such a growing city. It seems like every five years, Charlotte’s growing faster than it was five years ago,” said Goble. “That’s amazing in a lot of ways. Where you suffer from that is when you’re in a period of high inflation the way we are now. The fast, rapidly growing cities are going to bear that the hardest.
“But it is encouraging to me that although rents are high, costs of goods are high, sales are also really good,” he continued. “People are out supporting businesses and generating that revenue so you can bear that burden most of the time.”
Sometimes, however, it’s simply unfeasible, as was the case with Dandelion Market earlier this year. When it came time to negotiate with the property owner over a new lease, the two parties were so far apart that there wasn’t much hope for a deal.
Even if that was apparent early on, it took some time for the team to realize they would need to back out.
“Sometimes it’s really easy to go with your gut and do what you know is the right thing to do when it’s something that you really want to do,” Timmins said.
“It’s very challenging when your gut’s telling you to do something that your heart doesn’t really want to do. That’s the situation. Everything in your brain and your heart is saying, ‘No, how could we even consider this as an option?’ But when you look at it you know it’s the right path to take, that’s when it’s really hard.”
Yet the future remains bright for the Best Bars team, as work continues on the new Tyber Creek Pub location, which will replace the former 1501 South Mint cocktail lounge.
The property includes three buildings and the team plans to make use of all of them. There’s a courtyard area where they plan to host live music and other events, and they’re excited about the closer vicinity to Bank of America Stadium, allowing for tailgating opportunities before Panthers and Charlotte FC games.
It’s been a rough five years for the Best Bars team, but they keep a positive mindset to help push through.
After all, you can only prepare for what you can see coming, said Timmins.
“You can’t worry about what you can’t control. If you do, you’re going to be dead,” he explained about his way of approaching the business. “If it’s something in our control that we screwed up, then we own that and we learn from it and we move forward. But if it’s something that we can’t control, if you stress about that, you’re dead — you’re dead in the water.”
The Best Bars trio is very much alive.
RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM
HOROSCOPE
JUL.24 - JUL.30 JUL.31 - AUG. 6
ARIES (March 21 to April 19) A bit of Arian contrariness could be keeping you from getting all of the facts. Turn it off and tune in to what you need to hear. It could make all the difference this week.
TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Getting an answer to a vital question involving financial matters might take longer than you’d expected. A new factor might have to be dealt with before anything can move forward. Be patient.
GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Use your good sense to see what really might be driving a colleague’s workplace agenda. What you learn could lead to a new way of handling some old problems.
CANCER (June 21 to July 22) A change of mind might once again turn out to be a good thing. True, most of your co-workers might not like the delay, but as before, they might appreciate what follows from it.
LEO (July 23 to August 22) You revel in golden opportunities this week. One cautionary note, though: Be careful to separate the gold from the glitter before you make a choice. Someone you trust can help.
VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Marriage is important this week, as are other partnerships. Don’t let yourself be overwhelmed by sentiment. Instead, try to steer a path between emotion and common sense.
LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Dealing with someone who has let you down is never easy. But the sooner you’re able to clear up this problem, the sooner other problems can be successfully handled.
SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) A “friend” who is willing to bend the rules to gain an advantage for both of you is no friend. Reject the offer, and stay on your usual straight and narrow path.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) After all the effort you’ve been putting in on the job and for friends and family, it’s a good time to indulge your own needs. Meanwhile, the weekend could bring a pleasant surprise.
CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) You might want to do something new this weekend. Close your eyes and imagine what it could be, then do it! Or come up with the closest practical alternative.
AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Your good deeds bring you the appreciation you so well deserve. But once again, be careful of those who might want to exploit your generous nature for their own purposes.
PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Trolling for compliments isn’t necessary. You earned them, and you’ll get them. This week, concentrate on moving ahead into the next phase of your program.
BORN THIS WEEK: Meeting new people usually means you’re making new friends. People want to be reflected in your shining light.
ARIES (March 21 to April 19) A misunderstanding tests the temperament of the sometimes headstrong Aries. But instead of blowing your top, take time for a pleasant diversion while things cool down.
TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) A workplace problem could make the divine Bovine see red. But talk it out before you consider walking out. Some surprising facts emerge that can change your earlier focus.
GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) You face a choice between ignoring your uneasy feelings about your relationship with a special person and demanding explanations. A close friend offers wise counsel.
CANCER (June 21 to July 22) A change you’d been hoping for carries an unexpected complication. Stay the course, and things will work themselves out. Be sure to make time for family and friends.
LEO (July 23 to August 22) Aspects favor spending time with loved ones. On the job, new ideas are generally welcomed, but some demands for change could cause problems. Be ready to defend your choices.
VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Good news: A workplace problem is close to being resolved with results that should please everyone. Take time off to indulge in your love of fun and games.
LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Most of the time, you are the most unflappable person around. But be ready to be thrown off-balance in the nicest way when Cupid takes aim in your direction.
SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) It’s not often that someone tries to “sting” the sharp-witted Scorpion, but it can happen. Continue to be skeptical about anything that seems too good to be true.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Your strong sense of self-esteem helps you serve as a role model for someone who needs personal reassurances. Meanwhile, your efforts pay off in an unexpected way.
CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Someone close considers revealing a painful secret. Withhold any judgment. Instead, open your generous heart, and offer dollops of your love and understanding.
AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Your talents as a peacemaker are called upon once more as an old problem reemerges with new complications. Move cautiously in order to avoid falling into hidden traps.
PISCES (February 19 to March 20) The artistic side of yourself is enhanced with the reception given to your new project. Use this success as encouragement toward fulfilling your larger goals.
BORN THIS WEEK: Your natural sense of leadership is combined with a deep sense of responsibility. People trust you to give them both guidance and understanding.
LIFESTYLE PUZZLES
SUDOKU
BY LINDA THISTLE
TRIVIA TEST
BY FIFI RODRIGUEZ
1. TELEVISION: What is the longestrunning talk show on television?
2. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: In terms of letter count, what is the longest month of the year?
3. MOVIES: Which famous action movie is set on Amity Island?
4. SCIENCE: What is heliocentrism?
5. ANIMAL KINGDOM: What kind of horses are featured in Budweiser beer ads?
6. U.S. STATES: Which state’s nickname is “The Land of 10,000 Lakes”
7. FOOD & DRINK: How many goodies are in a baker’s dozen?
8. INVENTIONS: Who invented the battery?
9. LANGUAGE: What does an ampersand symbol signify?
10. GEOGRAPHY: In which desert is Las Vegas, Nevada, located?
CROSSWORD
PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE.
SHADY NUMBERS
©2024 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.
SAVAGE LOVE SOLO SURVIVOR
A sub in search of a Dom
BY DAN SAVAGE
Literally the only sex I’ve had is being raped. The only person who ever expressed any passion for me — the only person who ever made me feel sexy and desirable — was my rapist. While other people get to look back on great and terrible sex, all I have is a sex crime. A big part of why I was raped in the first place was because I was so desperate to find a partner that I went on a date with someone I shouldn’t have and got into a lifethreatening situation. I do not blame myself, but that is how it happened.
I don’t know how to find a partner who wants me and who I want. Compounding the problem, I’m a niche interest in the best of circumstances. I’m a straight submissive male. Dominant women are all but impossible to find. I’ve tried joining clubs and going to events, but the people I meet are invariably too old or already coupled. I’ve tried personal ads and only received responses from gay men. Dating coworkers is out of the question for obvious reasons, and speed dating results in bust after bust. Escort services and prostitution are financially, legally, professionally, and ethically unacceptable to me. “Make a FetLife account and go to munches!” is the usual advice, but I’ve done that for a year with no results. Personals sites are littered with M4F posts with zero replies, and in all the events I’ve attended I haven’t met a single dominant woman. Masturbation wasn’t doing it for me anymore even before I got raped and now it is much harder to touch myself. I suppose there are toys to try, techniques to experiment with, but at a certain point nothing can replace an actual sex partner.
I’m sorry if I sound a bit ranty. I just feel like I’ve hit a dead end in a sex life that never even got started. I have no idea what to do.
SEXUALLY STILLBORN SUBMISSIVE
I can offer you some practical advice and some encouragement in this space, SSS, but I can’t help you work through your lingering trauma. So, if you aren’t already seeing a therapist — if you haven’t spoken to someone who specializes in working with male rape victims — you need to find one. The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists has a database of therapists you can search by location and specialty, SSS, and the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network helps run online support groups for male survivors in partnership with 1in6, an organization that advocates for men who have been raped or sexually assaulted.
There are a lot more straight male subs out there than there are dominant women, SSS, which is why women can make a living as professional dominants and men can’t make a living as professional submissives. So, what do you do? You keep going to munches and events (you don’t give up after a year), you show up in good working order, you remind yourself you’re playing a long and sometimes frustrating game, and you try your best — maybe with the help of your kink-positive therapist — to be Zen about it. You can and should continue to date women you meet outside of munches and kink events and then lay your kink cards down on the table after establishing mutual interest but before things get serious. I would encourage you to play with some of the couples you’ve met — I’m assuming we’re talking about oppositesex couples here — and that you play nice, you play responsibly, and that you show gratitude after you play. Play with a partnered woman may not be what you ultimately want, but it’s better than no play at all. And a couple who has gotten to know you as a person and a player and who likes you — which they’re unlikely to do if you’re seething with resentment and/or trauma dumping all over them — will be able to vouch for you as a person and a player if one of those rare single and dominant women should show up at a munch or a play party.
Some other tips: Some of the best dominants are frustrated subs, SSS, and some women who are dominant now were submissives at the beginning of their kink explorations. And I’ve met lots of submissive straight men over the years whose partners were vanilla but GGG and came to really enjoy D/s sex play. So, don’t rule out vanilla women, just be honest with them about who you are and the kind of sex you’re interested in having.
Finally, SSS, I’m going to emphasize again the importance of seeing a kink-positive a therapist who specializes in male victims of rape. You’ve been dealt an unfair hand, and you have every right to feel aggrieved and a right to rant. But working through your anger, hurt and disappointment with a qualified therapist — ranting at a professional — will set you up for success with your first dominant girlfriend, however she comes into your life. Good luck.
P.S. Some of the smartest, kindest, and most emotionally intelligent women I’ve ever met were professional dominants. There are terrible people in every field, of course, but the best professional dominants view their clients as people with needs, not as walking wallets, and many have helped their clients move more comfortably through kink spaces, which enabled their clients to meet and date other kinky people.
I am gay and in love. I’ve been in a non-traditional monogamous relationship for the last three years. We’ve had a few threesomes during our time we’ve been together, and we have attended a few sex parties. Recently, we had to spend time in different places and experienced things with other guys separately. Now we are back in the same place and redesigning the terms of our relationship. I am wondering if it’s justifiable to have sex with other people just to satisfy certain aspects of our desires that are not currently fulfilled within the relationship? Or is that the easy way out? Are we escaping a duty to adapt ourselves sexually to each other more fully in the hopes of achieving perfect sexual satisfaction together? Or should we assume that we are never going to fulfill each other completely and it’s natural to look for other people to fill certain gaps?
BINGING ON YOUR SHOW
If you and your boyfriend wanna have sex with other people and you’re in agreement about it —and you’ve had an open and honest conversation about rules, limits, boundaries and safety — you don’t have to come up with a justification for opening your relationship (or keeping it open). “We talked about this, we’re in agreement, this is what we both want,” is all the justification you need.
While allowing your partner to explore kinks you don’t share is one reason many couples open their relationships — sometimes just a crack — stepping outside your sexual comfort zones for each other is a good idea. If neither of you is willing to give something the one want to explore a try, BOYS, you boys wind up missing out on sex acts and/or kinks you might discover you enjoy. Additionally, sexual exploration with/for a partner can benefit and improve your emotional connection. Being GGG (“good, giving, and game for anything — within reason”) was some advice I pulled out of my ass, but Dr. Amy Muise at York University actually studied people who were “motivated to meet a romantic partner’s sexual needs.” And what Dr. Muise found was that people who explored their romantic partners’ sexual interests and kinks reported high levels of relationship satisfaction and strength as a result of those explorations, i.e., getting kinky together brought them closer together.
So, I would advise you to give the things your partner wants to try a shot, BOYS, and I would advise your partner to do the same for you — barring, of course, anything either of you finds disgusting, appalling or triggering. If you’re into feet and he’s not, he should be able to let you go to town on his feet. If he’s into fisting and you’re not, allowing him to explore fisting (and maybe fisting only) outside your relationship may be the better option. No one should do anything in the bedroom or darkroom or dungeon or wherever that they don’t wanna do — of course — but there’s a difference between “this is something sexual that turns me off and I don’t wanna do” and “this is something sexual that wasn’t my idea but I might be willing to try.”
Don’t think of it as adapting to each other — and don’t think of it as an obligation to do anything and everything your partner wants — but rather as a willingness to explore and grow together sexually.
P.S. You describe your relationship as monogamous, BOYS, but it sounds likes it’s been open pretty much the entire time you’ve been together. Sticking with what you already know works is also a good idea.
Trivia Answers
“The Tonight Show”
in 1954.
September.
“Jaws.”
It is the idea that the Earth and other planets orbit the Sun.
Clydesdale.
Minnesota.
13.
Alessandro Volta.
The conjunction “and.”
Mojave Desert.
J�i� Q�e�n C�t� N�r�e i� d�s�u�s�o�s a�o�t l�c�l n�w� t�p�c� o�e� c�c�t�i�s w�t� f�a�u�e� g�e�t� o� t�e Q�e�n C�t� P�d�a�t N�t�o�k�
S�a� t�e c�d�
