Queen City Nerve - April 3, 2024

A look at what’s next for Charlotte’s

craft beer scene

By Annie Keough

Exploring the local sober curious movement

By Rayne Antrim

THE 2024 BEER ISSUE

Town Brewing releases first beer brewed with recycled water in the Carolinas

By Ryan Pitkin

PUBLISHER

JUSTIN LAFRANCOIS jlafrancois@qcnerve.com

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

RYAN PITKIN rpitkin@qcnerve.com

DIGITAL MANAGER

RAYNE ANTRIM rantrim@qcnerve.com

STAFF WRITERS

PAT MORAN pmoran@qcnerve.com

ANNIE KEOUGH akeough@qcnerve.com

ART DIRECTOR

AIDEN SIOBHAN aiden@triad-city-beat.com

AD SALES EXECUTIVE

RENN WILSON rwilson@qcnerve.com

TO

ADVERTISING MEDIA COORDINATOR

ARIN MCCORMACK amccormack@qcnerve.com

TABLE OF CONTENTS

NEWS & OPINION

4 Consider the Source by Ryan Pitkin Town Brewing brews new sustainable beer using recycled water

6 Lifeline: Ten Cool Things To Do in Two Weeks ARTS

8 What’s Old Is New by Liz Logan Swanee Theatre renovation provides important venue for rejuvenated downtown area in Kannapolis MUSIC

10 The Queen City’s Best Brew Tunes by Pat Moran

Local beer songs for sippin’ and chuggin’

12 Soundwave

FOOD & DRINK

14 The Sobriety Spectrum by Rayne Antrim

From sober curious to recovery, a shift in thinking is occurring in Charlotte

16 Now What? by Annie Keough

As Charlotte’s craft beer scene matures, where does it go from here?

LIFESTYLE

18 Puzzles

20 The Seeker by Katie Grant

21 Horoscope

22 Savage Love

Thanks to our contributors: Katie Grant, Liz Logan, Juan Ossa, Brandon Callender, Kristie Crowder, Shane Sanders, Paul Rivera, Jake Rothwell, Daniel Coston, Chris Edwards, Jenna Thompson, Robbi O, and Dan Savage.

CONSIDER THE SO UR CE

Town Brewing launches sustainable beer brewed from recycled water

BY RYA N PITKIN

Any time a locally owned business prepares to release a new product, the branding is important. Any business owner will tell you that the public’s first impression of their product — be it a craft beer, a piece of jewelry, or a T-shirt — should be a positive one.

Certain products, however, need a more purposeful approach to marketing than others. Take Town Brewing’s Renew Brew, first launched in February during the Queen City Brewers Festival.

Renew Brew is the first beer in the Carolinas to be brewed with recycled water — more specifically, H2O that’s passed through Charlotte Water’s McDowell Wastewater Treatment Plant.

For Brandon Stirewalt, director of operations at the Wesley Heights brewery, there was only one chance to get the messaging right around Renew Brew.

“There is always going to be certain people with certain stigmas, especially in a world where information is not always easy to discern what is true and accurate, and where, unfortunately, people don’t spend enough time to do their homework to understand processes and procedures,” Stirewalt told Queen City Nerve. “I think we’re always going to have to educate people.”

Stirewalt knew that once people heard the word “wastewater,” they were liable to turn away from the idea of Renew Brew altogether. That was a risk he was willing to take, however, as the idea of presenting a truly sustainable beer in a world where water is becoming more of a valued resource by the year was too important to turn down.

So far, Stirewalt has only held tastings for the beer, as he plans to do during the 4/20 Fest and Earth Day celebration that Town Brewing will host alongside neighbors Rhino Market and Infinity’s End on April 20.

Following that event, he will begin preparing

for a full public release of Renew Brew in the fall, which brings more pressure in terms of educating customers on the process behind recycling water.

“This has not been 100% in the court of public opinion yet,” he explained. “I have been able to control the narrative because I’m able to give my narrative to folks at tastings. That was really the reason we did this in the way that we did; we have to be able to dictate the narrative before we throw it to the wolves. Because if this gets chewed up and spit back at us, we have not served our purpose by what we’re trying to do in showcasing sustainable water usage.”

So what does this process look like and just how healthy is it? We figured our annual Beer Issue was the best time to take a deeper dive into the local craft beer scene’s newest product.

A sustainable partnership

The idea behind brewing a beer with recycled water was originally borne out by Jeremy Selan with the Charlotte Beer Collective, who approached Charlotte Water and began to seek out a brewery that would make a good partner for the project.

The first step in the process was to make a water that could pass any test for contaminants that was thrown at it. This led to the creation of QC Water.

QC Water is a sustainable source of clean water derived from recycled wastewater using stateof-the-art carbon filtering, reverse osmosis, and advanced oxidation — ozone and ultraviolet treatments — of Mecklenburg County’s wastewater.

What would normally come from that process — highly treated effluent water from the WWTP that gets discharged into a nearby creek — was instead taken one step further to become a water source for beer. A team from the international Xylem Water Solutions & Water Technology company set up its

post-plant polishing treatment equipment outside of WWTP to carry out additional treatment operations.

What resulted, dubbed by the team as QC Water, exceeds all pathogen reduction requirements and the Environmental Protection Agency guidelines through the Safe Drinking Water Act (SDWA). The production process is monitored to meet the criteria specified by Charlotte Water based on the SDWA.

QC Water was thoroughly tested for more than 150 potential contaminants. In fact, according to Stirewalt, the water was almost too pure.

“It’s to the point that it was such a blank slate, we had to back-add some mineral content to get the brewing profile that we wanted,” he explained. “So we had to add brewer’s salts. It was so pure.”

The next step involved deciding what to do with this blank slate. The Town Brewing team decided on a pale ale because it allowed them to showcase the beer as best they could.

“The reason we chose to go with a pale ale was because pale ale is such a simple, easy beer to showcase great malt, great hops, and how clean and great the water is,” he explained. “Being in the

South, if you want to judge a barbecue restaurant, you don’t go in and the first thing is order the ribs or the brisket or all these things, you go in, you get a chopped barbecue sandwich and a side of baked beans … It’s just simple. If you screw that up, I don’t need to know anything else about you. But if that’s great, I’ll try everything you got.

“So we did the same,” he continued. “Pale ales like this, you can really go in and judge an entire brewery by that one beer because if they’re doing that well, they’re probably doing everything well. If they’re doing that bad, they’re probably doing a lot of things bad. We wanted to showcase the beer that we couldn’t hide anything in. There’s no mango puree or anything to cover up the water profile.”

What resulted is a light, refreshing pale ale that was smooth going down when Queen City Nerve visited Town Brewing for a tasting on a recent Saturday afternoon. In fact, the brew was awarded Best in Show following a double-blind taste test at the Queen City Brewers Festival in February, proving it can hang with any of its peers.

“That really just solidified and gave concrete

PHOTO BY JUAN OSSA

TOWN BREWING’S HEAD BREWER FEDERICO DE LA TORRE.

purpose to this project,” Stirewalt said. “Not only did we brew a good beer, we brewed a beer that won the festival that we were at.”

Why Renew Brew is important

Research shows that it takes anywhere from 4 to 8 gallons of water to brew a single gallon of beer, and water has become more scarce throughout the country in recent years, especially on the West Coast.

According to the U.S. Drought Monitor, more than 18% of the lower 48 states were in a drought as of March 26.

Changing climate and growing global populations mean water authorities worldwide are looking at treatment options to produce reclaimed water to meet declining freshwater supplies and achieve water security and sustainability.

“In an industry where the majority of our product is water, and knowing the large amount of it that it takes to make a single pint of beer, it is vastly important to be a part of any sustainability effort that we can – especially an ingredient as important to us as water,” said Federico De La Torre, head brewer at Town Brewing. “Classic beer styles from around the world sprung up because of the water that was available to us brewers. We are lucky to have incredible water for brewing here in Charlotte.”

Though Renew Brew is the first project of its kind in the Carolinas, similar recycled water beers have been used in other areas of the United States including Oregon, Kentucky, California and Arizona.

Charlotte Water was chosen as a partner for this project due to its award-winning treatment process and high effluent standards. The department hopes to build on the momentum of Renew Brew to try including QC Water in other products, from coffee to cleaning products.

“At Charlotte Water, we are thrilled to launch in partnership our first beer brewed with recycled water,” said Charlotte Water Director Angela Charles. “This project is a testament to our commitment to a circular economy, innovation, and sustainability, and we are excited to showcase the endless possibilities of recycled water.”

According to Stirewalt, the project was just one more way to implement sustainability into Town Brewing’s business practices — from the farmers and maltsters they work with to the bartenders’ practices behind the stick.

“The reason the brewery is named Town is after Charlottetowne, the original old name [of Charlotte] was Charlottetowne,” he said. “How can we be a town center for Charlotte? How can we help build our town? How can we help better our town? That is really what the name Town comes from, so any opportunity to find that, we’re going to take it.”

PHOTO BY JUAN OSSA

THE TOWN TEAM MEETS WITH XYLEM REPS DURING THE WATER TREATMENT PROCESS.

PHOTO BY JUAN OSSA

RENEW BREW WILL BE RELEASED PUBLICLY LATER THIS YEAR.

PHOTO BY JUAN OSSA

BRANDON STIREWALT TALKS TO CHARLOTTE WATER DIRECTOR ANGELA CHARLES.

ETHAN USLAN, JOSH KING, E-LON JD

Pulling a bunch of upcycled pianos into a circle is not a defensive measure. On the contrary, the Pianodrome entices concertgoers into an intimate experience with three Charlotte musicians. With dexterous imagination, Ethan Uslan seems to effortlessly traipse through the jaunty jazz and ragtime standards of greats like Scott Joplin and Fats Waller. Josh King’s soulful pop performances on piano and harmonica draw deep upon his love of the blues. Best known as bassist with Jonathan Scales Fourchestra, E-Lon JD’s forte is a melodic amalgam of funk, jazz, and rock.

More: Free; April 4, 6 p.m.; Grace A.M.E. Zion Church, 223 S. Brevard St.; charlotteshout.com

GOSPELSHOUT

“High-energy trombone ‘shout bands’ are a special tradition in the [United] House of Prayer,” says community historian Tom Hanchett, who helps organize this yearly event. “Growing up in the church, young people learn the music person-to-person, not from books. Leaders improvise arrangements on the spot.” GospelSHOUT is a free concert featuring the praise bands of the United House of Prayer for All People, with this year’s event featuring The Bailey Clouds of Heaven and two vocal choirs: the Bailey Stringband and the Bailey Golden Angels. Come hungry, as soul food dinners are available for purchase until they sell out.

More: Free; April 9, 6 p.m.; United House of Prayer for All People, 2321 Beatties Ford Road; tinyurl.com/GospelShout24

DEAD DEAD SWANS, THE COCKER SPANIELS, BEN BOURNE, XTINE G

With worn vocals and sparse guitar, Milwaukee’s Dead Swans conjure harrowing imagery on tracks like “For No One”: “Are your boots still stained from blood now/ From all the backs you stepped on…” Charlotte songwriter/multi-instrumentalist Sean Padilla’s solo project The Cocker Spaniels apply supple alt pop to trenchant lyrics: “Cops don’t care about the drip/ They’ll pull their guns out just as quick…” Songwriter/guitarist Ben Bourne plays explosive roots-infused rock ‘n’ roll. Evoking an indie Judy Collins, Charlotte’s Xtine G essays an expressive mixture of confessional folk and transcendent country.

More: $7; April 10, 8 p.m.; The Milestone, 3400 Tuckaseegee Road; themilestone.club

LAVAGEM CELEBRATION

The annual “Lavagem do Bonfim” is one of the most important events in the Afro Brazilian cultural calendar, dating back to colonial Brazil when enslaved Africans were forced to clean the church in preparation for the celebration of Senhor Do Bonfim, “Our Lord.” A celebration of resiliency and resistance, this four-day celebration invites all comers but is especially designed to uplift Indigenous communities, the African-Brazilian community and all communities of the African diaspora. Much of the celebration centers dance and music, including capoeira, samba and drumming performances.

More: Free; April 11-14, times vary; locations vary; tinyurl.com/LavagemCLT

AUSTIN ROYALE, QUIRL

After making a splash in NYC’s alternative hip-hop scene, Durham rapper, producer and songwriter Austin “Royale” Copeland expanded his musical palette to alt-rock. The result was tracks like “Wish You Well,” which features plaintive strummed guitars and engaged, direct lyrics that evoke the ruminative side of Kurt Cobain. His recent work is harder hitting. Harkening to the rhythmic, chainsaw-wielding attack of Bad Brains, Copeland tangles hip-hop with hardcore. NYC combo Quirl’s nervous cavernous post-punk evokes the mutant shade of jittery rockabilly that marked the early work of stringent experimentalists The Fall.

More: $12.50; April 12, 9 p.m.; Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St.; snugrock.com

MOO, BREW & ‘QUE MUSIC FEST

Charlotte’s annual live music, burger and beer festival has brought on a new B: barbecue. Dive into a mouthwatering array of local and regional barbecue delights, savor a selection of more than 50 beers or go with one of the expertly crafted cocktails. Immerse yourself in the various games and entertainment, set against the backdrop of an exceptional music lineup that features acts like The Revivalists, Hippo Campus, and flipturn. There are a total of 16 music acts scheduled to play over three days.

More: $39 and up; April 12-14, times vary; AvidXchange Music Factory Festival Grounds, 817 Hamilton Street; mooandbrewfest.com

AUSTIN

Photo by Brandon Callender 4/12

SEGA’S B-DAY RUMBLE

Join Beatfreaq & Ready to Rumble for performances, dope beats, producer battles, open aux, food, drinks and stank face music at Starlight. Festivities begin with two beat battles, as Keef Knox faces off against Espect, followed by Yamin Semali vs. Cj Chat. The following beat showcases end with a birthday set from Sega, and a live performance by MC Judah, who offers a unique blend of humor, lyrics and reallife stories. Also check for cool vendors and great eats from Oak City Smokehouse, which will be serving its authentic Eastern NC barbecue.

More: Free; April 13, 3-6 p.m.; Starlight on 22nd, 422 E. 22nd St.; tinyurl.com/SegasBDayStarlight

STEAM ON THE WING AND ON THE WATER

Discover the wonders of science, technology, engineering, arts, and mathematics by joining Mecklenburg County Parks and Recreation’s Quest Nature Center and the Carolina Raptor Center at Latta Nature Preserve to kick off the centennial celebration of 100 years of Mountain Island Lake. The event features two components: STEAM On the Wing, featuring free access to the Raptor Trail, a zoo highlighting birds of prey and home to more than 30 avian ambassadors; and STEAM On the Water, which dives into aquatic ecology with local organizations.

More: Free; April 13, 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; Latta Nature Preserve, 6000 Sample Road; carolinaraptorcenter.org

HOLI COLOR FESTIVAL

The Holi festival has a cultural significance among various Hindu traditions of the Indian subcontinent. It is the festive day to end and rid oneself of past errors, to end conflicts by meeting others, a day to forget and forgive. This event immerses participants in the vibrant hues of Holi — literally. This “festival of colors, love and spring” will feature music from DJ Pawan, delicious Indian delicacies, flash mobs, merch vendors and more. Be sure to wear something that you don’t mind adding a little color to.

More: Free; April 14, noon-3 p.m.; Hindu Center of Charlotte, 7400 City View Drive; tinyurl.com/HoliColorCLT

THE WAY DOWN WANDERERS

When The Way Down Wanderers dropped their debut LP Illusions in 2029, critics cast the Peoria, Illinois five-piece in the shadow of contemporary Americana-pop stars like The Avett Brothers. The Wanderers’ songs were thoughtful and catchy but the band truly excelled with its quicksilver bluegrass-inspired instrumentation. The band’s 2021 follow up LP More Like Tomorrow turned to weightier lyrics and more diverse music. Bluegrassderived dexterity remains but the genre’s sonic signposts have faded from tunes like “Hiding.” Here a funky bassline underpins soulful R&B vocals and swooping UFO synthesizers. Call it pop-soul proggrass.

More: $15-18; April 14, 7:30 p.m.; Evening Muse, 3227 N. Davidson St.; eveningmuse.com

STEAM ON THE WING AND ON THE WATER

Courtesy of Carolina Raptor Center 4/13 MOO,

Photo

WHAT’S OLD IS N EW

Swanee Theatre renovation provides important venue for rejuvenated downtown area in Kannapolis

BY LIZ LOGAN

Though the repeated “Charlotte tears down its history” trope may be rote (albeit without the lessons learned), there are surrounding towns focused on progress through preservation. One such town is Kannapolis, about half an hour north of the city.

Before Charlotte ever saw its first social district, the West Avenue District was branded and opened three years prior to Charlotte’s Plaza Midwood. Sidewalks along parts of West Avenue, Cannon Baller Way and Main Street, among others, are open for patrons to grab a beer from spots like Old Armor Beer Company on their way to other spots or just simply sit outside to sip, unencumbered by the walls of a specific establishment.

This foresight entices patrons to visit newly opened shops and restaurants, keeping the streets alive and bustling in a way the town has not seen in decades.

The rejuvenation of West Avenue has also had its effects on the Kannapolis arts scene, as the historic Gem Theatre is currently undergoing its second round of renovations and will soon screen movies again as it did in its 20th-century heyday.

Nearby, Swanee Theatre has also been meticulously restored to its original aesthetic, complete with a marquee featuring the original art deco font prominently on West Avenue. Owner Ken Lingafelt even went as far as to procure a 1941 Ford adorned with the same lettering to sit out front on show nights.

Kannapolis’ downtown has undergone significant redevelopment and revitalization, thanks in large part to the vision of mayor Darrell Hinnant, who made Kannapolis his home in the 1970s to work for the Cannon Mills Company.

Like many North Carolina towns, Kannapolis began as a mill town, leaning into the late 19thcentury textile boom thanks to Cannon Mills Company, from which the town’s name was derived. As with many manufacturing hubs, the legacy slowly dissolved, the plant being tossed from owner

to owner after multi-million dollar acquisitions before ultimately being demolished in the early 2000s.

The layoffs that came with the mill’s demise brought uncertainty to the city, whose population around this time had sat steadily just below 40,000. The mill was purchased by its former owner, David Murdock, who laid the groundwork to transition from manufacturing to research through the development of the prestigious North Carolina Research Campus, which would soon comprise eight universities focused on health and nutrition.

Incentives were implemented to attract business and would-be residents with the promise of a transformation into sustainable and higher-paying jobs and now, nearly 20 years after this transition, Kannapolis is seeing the change promised by its leaders.

In the 1930s and ’40s, downtown Kannapolis served as the town’s cultural center. Movie theaters provided entertainment and respite for mill workers. So engrossed were the downtown theaters with the then-thriving textile community, a whistle from the roof of Swanee Theatre was blown to signal shift changes for mill workers.

Swanee was opened in 1940 as one of four single-screen movie theaters and closed in the early 1970s. The historic venue saw many iterations — a welcome center for the town, an admin building for a community college — and in 2021, Kannapolis City Council approved the building’s sale to an entertainment group with a vision of restoring the theater to its former glory, only this time as a music and events venue.

True to its locale, the stage of Swanee Theatre is often filled with country-adjacent musicians and tribute bands playing the sounds of Allman Brothers and Zac Brown. One would be remiss not to mention that Kannapolis was home to NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt and the Southern roots run deep in the music filling the hall of the theater.

The Woods return to town

Coming back to the stage for the third time on April 12 is The Woods, a Nashville-based band that has gained enough acclaim to secure a spot as Tim McGraw’s Standing Room Only Tour opener for the first six shows.

The Woods’ played on Nashville’s public station WMOT’s Finally Friday series, (somewhat) akin to NPR’s tiny desk concert series, and was featured on NPR Music’s Live Music Sessions. Their single “Road Trippin’” got the attention of Billboard and made its way to the Music Row Country Breakout Chart.

The Woods is a three-piece getup making way for three-part harmony, with Dan O’Rourke’s singersongwriter vibe at the helm; multi-instrumentalist Raquel Cole, a Canadian country solo artists, bringing her myriad talents to the group; and Leland Rooney, a classically trained vocalist and multigenre guitarist.

Like many newer musicians, The Woods had to endure the shutdown of 2020 and kept the artistry alive through social media live streams, “mostly to keep ourselves sane because the music industry had shut down,” O’Rourke says.

These streams made their rounds and soon venues around the country began reaching out for a chance to get the group on stage. Ken Lingafelt of Swanee Theatre was one such venue rep. “He

said, ‘Let’s just get ya out here and get ya playin’,” O’Rourke says, and thus began the trio’s relationship with Kannapolis and the Swanee Theatre.

The first show at Swanee was an acoustic set, when O’Rourke says he was hopeful “people like music enough just to show up for music they haven’t heard of.”

After playing in Nashville, O’Rourke and the band never knew what they were getting into as they booked smaller venues in not-so-well-known towns, but they were pleasantly surprised with the quality of sound and equipment present at Swanee, which he says makes it “easy to go back there.”

Like many music hopefuls, especially of the country set, O’Rourke moved to the capital of the country music world after graduating from the University of Scranton in Pennsylvania where he double-majored in history and education.

Music had been a hobby, with a few bands formed here and there, and O’Rourke was focused on finding a teaching job. After time spent in Denver and Seattle, with a stint at a California boarding school, O’Rourke secured a teaching job in Arizona just before securing a spot on The Voice. Although O’Rourke never made it on television, he made a lot of Nashville connections, enough to inspire him to make the move both geographically and philosophically.

PHOTO COURTESY OF SWANEE THEATRE

THE SWANEE THEATRE’S NEWLY RENOVATED MARQUEE

ARTS FEATURE

“It was time for me to start taking music seriously,” he says, and he decided to step away from his earlier goals of teaching to build his budding music career.

While at the University of Scranton, O’Rourke met Rob Killian, a fellow music-hobbyist, in an education class. “Dan was also going to be a social studies teacher,” Killian says, “but we were probably talking music when we were supposed to be listening to whatever else was going on.”

The two created a bond but didn’t talk much after that class until Killian got another band together and was looking for people to play with. In a serendipitous encounter, a fellow musician told Killian he thought he had someone.

The two hopped in the car and drove to what Killian could only describe as a “sketchy, hauntedlooking” mill in Chester, Pennsylvania, when he says “Dan popped out.”

They played together and had “a good little jam session,” Killian recalls, and formed a band called Open Road. Together they played outside the Philadelphia area for a short period of time and had what Killian calls a “productive amount of time musically.”

A local musician finds a role with The Woods

Killian was doing construction in summer and working as a substitute teacher during the school year, which left him with ample time to pursue music. But, unlike O’Rourke’s trajectory, Killian says he hit a crossroads.

He continued his pursuit of teaching, which would come to fruition after applying to schools up and down the East Coast, a process that would eventually lead him to teaching at Bessemer City Middle School (BCMS) in Gaston County.

Killian transitioned into the life of an educator, teaching middle schoolers social studies as his music fell to the wayside, saying, “Dan took off out west and the band went its separate ways.”

Once O’Rourke moved to Nashville with his newly realized fervor, he got back in touch with Killian. “Once he got there, he asked if I would do some bass work on songs he was writing. He would send his music through mail like [the band] The Postal Service. I would listen to what he was working on, write and record my accompaniment, and mail it back.”

Killian and O’Rourke continued their shared longdistance musicianship, leading to a closeness and a trust that can so often be uniquely bred through the arts — O’Rourke even played the first-dance song in Killian’s wedding to his now-wife, Jamie, who he met while teaching at BCMS.

Killian and Jamie are frequent concert-goers, their shared love of music often leading them to any show they can get to — which is not as many as they were once able to attend, Killian says, since the pair now has two children at home. They make the most of the shows they can attend and Killian said each time he’d see musicians lost in their melodies on stage, a longing would exist within him, a nostalgia for his days on stage.

“After going such a long time without playing, the ‘live music bug’ can go dormant,” Killian says, and he didn’t want to forget how it feels.

After The Woods played their first set at Swanee Theatre and spent time in town with Killian and his family, O’Rourke and his band were asked back to play in the revered Kannapolis venue again.

Taking a different approach than their first largely vocal melodic set, this time The Woods decided to bring the full band, complete with Killian playing some of the bass lines he had developed through the mail.

Killian readily accepted, though he felt a bit concerned about how the other band members would feel about “this random guy [O’Rourke] went to college with playing their entire set.” Killian recalls, “I’m not sure how much convincing [O’Rourke] had to do but I’m grateful for their confidence.”

Killian now gets to “root for The Woods success,” but also looks forward to more opportunities to play music. He’ll be playing the April 12 show in Kannapolis before flying out to play with the band in Nashville.

“They are in Nashville, which has no shortage of great musicians, so the fact that they are willing to ask me to play with them is flattering and humbling at the same time,” Killian says.

He sees himself sort of as a “hired gun” role with The Woods.

Killian and Jamie got a fold-out couch for their playroom to make sure the band has a space to stay at the house when they come through and Killian says he “counts himself lucky that on a whim he can go play and Jamie is supportive with no questions asked.”

Killian largely keeps his musicianship out of his classroom in Hopewell High School, where he teaches juniors and seniors economics and personal finance.

If the topic comes up, he’ll play past recordings for his students, who Killian says find the difference in his “teacher voice” and his “music voice” surprisingly different, much like the dual roles he holds as a teacher/dad and semi-traveling musician.

Projects like the Swanee Theatre’s renovation serve small towns.

Big developments like the North Carolina Research Campus can give rise to business, industry and the arts after a devastating loss of a oncethriving mill infrastructure.

Preserving the architecture of a town allows it to keep its identity in the midst of industry shift, yes, but the shared experience of musicians and their listeners hearing and feeling the harmonies reverberating off the walls of an unsuspecting theater is how the history of a community is kept alive.

PHOTO COURTESY OF SWANEE THEATRE

CHAPEL HART PERFORMS AT SWANEE THEATRE

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE WOODS

THE WOODS PERFORM AT A VENUE CALLED THE BASEMENT.

THE QUEEN C ITY’S BEST B REW TUNES

Local beer songs for sippin’ and chuggin’

BY PAT MORAN

Beer, that heady ambrosia that launched a thousand taprooms, courses through human history. Excavations at Uruk in Sumer, humankind’s first city founded around 5000 BCE, uncovered a storage room for beer, and modern day brewers have approximated an ancient Egyptian beer, which reportedly tastes sweet and malty.

Beer has been depicted in art and literature, and an effervescent stream of the amber-hued libation flows through popular music, most obviously in the “crying in your beer” barstool poetry of county classics like by Johnny Paycheck’s swaggering and staggering “15 Beers.”

Not to be caught napping at the tap, rap tracks like Eazy-E’s “Sippin on a 40” sing the praises and pitfalls of supersized, high-alcohol-content containers of malt liquor. Rock ‘n’ roll’s celebration of beery hedonism and questionable life choices ranges from The Doors’ “Roadhouse Blues”: “I woke up one morning and I grabbed myself a beer...” to “Tubthumping,” English anarchist collective Chumbawamba’s 1997 paean to the working class sing-along/drink-along: “He drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink/ He sings the songs that remind him of the good times/ He sings the songs that remind him of the better times...”

We’re proud to note that the Queen City has contributed to the growing body of music that immortalizes beer in song, whether through celebration, cautionary warning or a bit of both. Feel free to pop a brew as we present a short playlist of songs about beer and beer drinking by Charlotte musicians.

Dollar Signs

“Bad News”

There’s an ever-present well of anxiety bubbling under the surface of Dollar Signs frontman Erik Button’s vulnerable bluster, and it’s most evident in the band’s beer soaked pop punk ruminations like “Tears/Beers/Fears” and “Bad News.”

“Tears/Beers/Fears” echoes every artist’s queasy dread that their creative output might be a meaningless treadmill: “I don’t wanna be 40/ Singing songs about getting drunk at prom...”

“Bad News,” however, ups the existential ante. As Luke Gunn’s piano pings a warning beacon and Tommy McPhail’s buzzsaw guitar swoops like a dive bomber, Button sings about feeling alone in the heart of a boisterous beer chugging crowd, “The people I drink with don’t really know me...”

There’s no bravado in Button’s bewildered bellow as Gunn’s barroom keys, McPhail’s wailing guitar, Arion Chamberlain’s rifle-fire drums and Dylan Wachman’s grinding bass dovetail into a raucous shout-along chorus: “I got problems, we got blue ribbons/ I got issues, we got some Grey Goose/ I got

fears (hell yeah), Well we’ve all cried tears/ But bad news goes down better with a beer...”

Here, Dollar Signs remind us that no matter how hard we wish, we can’t always make the good times roll. Instead, it’s the room that’s spins, and the beers we imbibe to escape self doubt and stress are not numbing our insecurities after all.

Jason Moss & the Hosses

“Thirsty Beaver Saloon”

Pealing pedal steel guitar, thumping upright bass and rolling splashy drums kick off this sashaying honky-tonk two-step that pays tribute to a Charlotte landmark that has withstood both the predations of a greedy real estate developer named John Hatcher and the perambulations of a slumming rock star named Mick Jagger. Over a swinging juke joint groove that harkens to Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys, frontman Jason Moss unleashes a keening Hank Williams drawl:

“

In Charlotte, North Carolina there’s a place that I hold dear/ I sometimes stop in there, and have myself a beer/ It’s a hole in the wall with a funky honky tonk

vibe/ A little orange building with a beaver painted on the side...”

Unlike the Rolling Stones vocalist who popped in once during his legendary band’s 2021 tour, it’s clear that Moss has spent a lot of quality time at the Beaver. “Thirsty Beaver Saloon” nails the joint’s details, right down to reruns of corny country music show Hee Haw playing on the TV, a picture of Bocephus on the wall and Beaver owners and brothers Brian and Mark Wilson getting ready to play with their crack country band the Loose Lugnuts.

Drew Nathan

“Remember the Beers”

Tradition and modernity sit side by side in Drew Nathan’s alternative country juggernaut “Remember the Beers.” After the sound of a beer can tab popping open, the tune kicks off with spiral of pedal steel that dissolves into chugging rock guitars, punchy galloping drums and Nathan’s fine-grained, smoky vocals.

“Pack a couple coolers/ and we’ll start in the evening/ Find a good spot, light a fire … Laugh about nothing cause you’re buzzin/ And you’re feeling like a million bucks...”

Balancing wistful yet conflicted lyrics with a catchy pop-rock melody, Nathan takes the tropes of bro country — beers, good times and a pickup truck with the windows down — and turns them upside down.

Nathan’s wistful yet unreliable nostalgia is clouded with hints of pain and subsequent healing. Here, fond emotions return, but the voices and personalities of old friends prove as insubstantial as wisps of campfire smoke.

“Sometimes it’s good to think about all those years … I don’t remember much/ But what I have is clear/ I don’t remember the jokes/ I don’t remember the cheers/ But I remember the beers...”

“Remember the Beers” is a photo album of golden memories with the faces blurred.

FAYE

PHOTO BY SHANE SANDERS

SAGE GREER

PHOTO BY PAUL RIVERA

MUSIC FEATURE

Faye

“Chow Chow”

“Chow Chow” from Faye’s 2016 self-titled debut EP is an unpolished jagged gem, the perfect soundtrack for an awkward evening. Emerging from a thicket of grimy bass notes, quizzical squalls of noise guitar and relentless martial drums, Susan Plante’s and Sarah Blumenthal’s vocals capture that queasy feeling that making the social scene can become a chore.

“I can’t see why there is nothing at all to do/ There’s nothing at all that’s new...”

The conjoined vocals flow as one, maintaining a cool detachment even as the song’s scenario fractures into a series of relatable and embarrassing fragments — pretending you’re having a good time in a nearly empty bar, noticing that the featured band is drawing just a cluster of significant others and indulging in nervous nothing-else-to-do drinking.

“Let’s take a cigarette break/ Pretend we really know what we are doing here/ We spent our ‘be seen’ money on well whiskey and beer...”

Beer and booze provide no getaway here. With a thundering, lumbering and rocking crescendo, our heroines realize that the only sane plan is to cut and run.

“It’s not worth the wait, let’s plan our escape/ This shit’s dumb/ I want to go home/ In my room alone...”

The Wilt “Bristol Sign”

Singer-songwriter Sage Greer hits a high water mark with “Bristol Sign” off alt-country band The Wilt’s 2019 LP Old Fire. Tracked live, the

instrumentation on the song is stripped down to Greer’s gentle yearning vocals and his cantering acoustic guitar.

“I’ve got buddies and they’ve got my back/ From both of the sides of these railroad tracks/ Never say nothing we can’t take back...”

Greer’s longing remembrance of friends and simpler times touches the heart because his song is shorn of the forced and generalized sentimentality that mars much commercial country. Instead, Greer’s lyrics draw from sharply observed details, and his impressionist specificity brings emotional gravitas to the tune.

“We go out on Friday nights/ Jack and Coke, Marlboro Lights, screamin’ our names at the Bristol Sign again/ We don’t mind if you wanna crash here, bring a decent record and a case of beer...”

Guys bonding over brews is an oversaturated beer commercial cliché, but here it rings unforced and true. It’s clear that Greer loves the people he’s singing about, so much so that “Bristol Sign” evokes a sweet and yearning sadness. The emotions and friendships he honors are unabashedly human, and therefore fragile.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

David Taylor & The Tallboys

“Get Me Drunk”

Like chasing grain alcohol with an energy drink, “Get Me Drunk” takes country music ingredients like whiplash pedal steel and cantering guitar and amps them to 11. Likewise, David Taylor’s lamenting vocal carries a real rock ‘n’ roll edge.

“My eyeballs keep on swimming/ This room keeps spinning/ I’m going down...”

The song’s forlorn protagonist really seems desperate to get hammered. My money says he’s passed on beer and has gone straight to lighter fluid and diesel fuel.

Sinners & Saints

“Up Like The Sun, Down Like The Rain”

Acoustic duo Sinners & Saints, comprised of upright bassist Mark Baran and vocalist/guitarist Perry Fowler, deal in delicate melancholia here, bolstered by subliminal shuddering harmonica that

wails like a far off locomotive. Unlike many roots music drinking songs, the lamenting tune doesn’t wallow in misplaced self pity. Fowler’s dry eyed vocal acknowledges that the fault is all his: “Here I sit again and my only friend is the bottle/And places I’ve gone, and faces I’ve wronged are all I can see...”

Given the tune’s level headed approach and quietly effective vocal, we say he’s sipping beer and not knocking back the harder stuff.

The Loose Lugnuts

“Fingerprints on the Bottle”

The Wilson Brothers’ drinking songs may not mention beer, per se, but their saloon proudly serves proletarian canned beer. “Canned beer was like [when a] guy was mowing the lawn; he had a can of beer,” Brian tells Queen City Nerve. “It wasn’t a glass or draft. That was a little fancier.”

We love the use of an oblique yet telling detail in “Fingerprints” providing a backstory about a marriage failing due to drink with a few words: “Fingerprints on the bottle/ Dust on my wedding band...”

Bottle of Smoke

“Last Call”

A hell-raising Charlotte Celtic band that takes its name from a song by legendary Irish folk-punk rockers the Pogues, Bottle of Smoke boasts Simon Strivelli’s evocative and woozy lyrics on “Last Call.”

“I then got the feeling/ Where the floor was the ceiling/ My words beginning to slur/ So I ordered more wine/ Which made sense at the time/ And my vision was starting to blur...”

Yes, Strivelli mentions wine instead of beer, but you’re gonna tell me an Irish band doesn’t drink beer?

PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM

SINNERS & SAINTS

PHOTO BY DANIEL COSTON

BOTTLE OF SMOKE

PHOTO BY JENNA THOMPSON

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Scream at the Sky w/ Heathensun, Until They Bleed, Lilith Rising, The White Horse (The Milestone)

Crush Fund w/ Raatma, Watches?, Alpha Strain (Snug Harbor)

Tiny Habots w/ Beane (Visulite Theatre)

JAZZ/BLUES

Emanuel Wynter (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Beats @ Birdsong (Birdsong Brewing)

Shindig! A Night Of ’90s Music w/ DJ Blondzai & DJ Host Modern (Tommy’s Pub)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Deep Register w/ Felix Pastorius (Evening Muse)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Shannon Lee Duo (Goldie’s)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Tophouse (Neighborhood Theatre)

OPEN MIC

Singer/Songwriter Open Mic (The Rooster)

Songwriters Circle & Variety Open Mic (Starlight on 22nd)

THURSDAY, APRIL 4

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Rough Dreams w/ My Blue Hope, Caught Off Guard, Skewer Rat (The Milestone)

Slaughter Beach, Dog w/ Erin Rae (Neighborhood Theatre)

Lael Neale w/ Modern Moxie, Alexa Jenson (Petra’s)

Super City w/ Pleasure House, Sunset Honor Unit, Thousand Dollar Movie (Snug Harbor)

JAZZ/BLUES

Bywater Call (Middle C Jazz)

Christone Kingfish Ingram w/ Dylan Triplett (Visulite Theatre)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

NC Bluegrass Jam Night (Birdsong Brewing)

AJ Lee w/ Blue Summit (Evening Muse)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Elle King (The Fillmore)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Dan Hood Trio w/ Jonathan Birchfield (Goldie’s)

Songwriter’s Round w/ Kim Ware & Rick Spreitzer (The Rooster)

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Tchaikovsky & Brahm (Belk Theater)

FRIDAY, APRIL 5

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Seven Year Witch w/ Forrest Isn’t Dead (Evening Muse)

Wristmeetrazor w/ Thus Spoke, Zarathustra, Backslide, Gnasher (The Milestone)

Spread Eagle w/ Fury 58, Midnite Massacre (The Rooster)

Pat & the Pissers w/ Mutant Strain, Corrupt Faith, Agonize, Z-Pak, Junk (Snug Harbor)

Southern Culture on the Skids w/ It’s Snakes (Visulite Theatre)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

William Black (Blackbox Theater)

Mike Farris (Evening Muse)

JAZZ/BLUES

Tab Benoit (Neighborhood Theatre)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Josh Meloy (Amos’ Southend)

Drake Milligan (Coyote Joe’s)

EXPERIMENTAL/MIXED-GENRE/FESTIVAL

Coughing Dove w/ Pie Face Girls, Tecoby Hines (Petra’s)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Pluto For Planet w/ Josh Daniel (Goldie’s)

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Tchaikovsky & Brahm (Belk Theater)

COVER BANDS

Landslide (Fleetwood Mac tribute) (Middle C Jazz)

Eternally Grateful (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

SATURDAY, APRIL 6

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Cinema Stereo w/ Leaving Echoes, Beyond the Portal, Digital Dolls (The Milestone)

The Crane Wives w/ Rachel Bobbit (Neighborhood Theatre)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Joe May w/ Fo Daniels (Evening Muse)

Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors (The Fillmore)

Carolina Down Boys w/ Katie Alling, Fiddle Disco (Starlight on 22nd)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

The Dancing Fleas (The Rooster)

Off the Wall! Pop-Up w/ Chief Rocka Aking, DJ Justice, Danielle Kharman (Snug Harbor)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Sematary (The Underground)

JAZZ/BLUES

Walter Beasley (Middle C Jazz)

Red Dress Amy (Primal Brewery)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

485 (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

EXPERIMENTAL/MIXED-GENRE/FESTIVAL

Lil Skritt w/ The Phantom Friends, Tony Wain & The Neon Brains (Petra’s)

COVER BANDS

Tell Me Lies (Fleetwood Mac tribute) (Amos’ Southend)

Kids In America w/ Square Roots Duo (Goldie’s)

SUNDAY, APRIL 7

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Chris Renzema (The Fillmore)

Rosary w/ True Lilith, Momophobia (The Milestone)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Charlotte Sands (Amos’ Southend)

Hazy Sunday (Petra’s)

JAZZ/BLUES

Harold López-Nussa (Middle C Jazz)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Darren Huffman w/ Dan Godzai (Goldie’s)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Ryan Caraveo (The Underground)

Guy Nowchild (Starlight on 22nd)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Pony Bradshaw w/ Rachel Baiman (Neighborhood Theatre)

COVER BANDS

Crisis! The Music of Ornette Coleman (Evening Muse)

MONDAY, APRIL 8

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Dethklok (The Fillmore)

JAZZ/BLUES

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s)

OPEN MIC

Find Your Muse Open Mic feat. Brian Dolzani (Evening Muse)

TUESDAY, APRIL 9

JAZZ/BLUES

The Jive Aces (Middle C Jazz)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night feat. The Smokin J’s (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 10

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Dead, Dead Swans w/ The Cocker Spaniels, Ben Bourne, Xtine G (The Milestone)

The Sugar Hollows w/ Yesterday’s Clothes (Snug Harbor)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Josh Daniel w/ Jim Brock, Kerry Daniels (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

JAZZ/BLUES

Mariel Bildsten Quartet (Middle C Jazz)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Delta Fire Duo (Goldie’s)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Beats @ Birdsong (Birdsong Brewing)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

AJR (Spectrum Center)

OPEN MIC

Singer/Songwriter Open Mic (The Rooster)

Variety Open Mic (Starlight on 22nd)

THURSDAY, APRIL 11

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Between You & Me (Amos’ Southend)

Pageant w/ Caelifera (Evening Muse)

Casket Robbery w/ Nights of Malice, Mafia, Detest the Throne, Absent Colors (The Milestone)

Tyler Booth w/ Fox ‘n’ Vead (Neighborhood Theatre)

Hellfire 76 w/ Pagan River Madness, Kult Ikon, Beyond the Portal (The Rooster)

Michael Seyer w/ Sundiver, Dirty Art Club (Snug Harbor)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Tristan Tritt w/ Caleb Davis (Goldie’s)

Daphne Eckman w/ falllift, Blake Rouse (Petra’s)

JAZZ/BLUES

Larry Fuller (Middle C Jazz)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Dustin Lynch (CMCU Amphitheatre)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

YTB Fatt (The Underground)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Shana Blake’s Musical Menagerie (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

FRIDAY, APRIL 12

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The Lenny Federal Band (Comet Grill)

Kenmujo w/ Wastoid, Narah, Subvertigo (The Milestone)

JAZZ/BLUES

Adam Hawley (Middle C Jazz)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Daniel Jeffers (Coyote Joe’s)

Bryce Leatherwood (Evening Muse)

Griffin House (Neighborhood Theatre)

Reedy River String Band (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

Demola (The Underground)

Au$tin Royale w/ Qirl (Snug Harbor)

Legend Status w/ 6Cardnal, DJ Bernie Burns,

TheFirm, Artizlife (Starlight on 22nd)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Weekend Friend w/ Sunhouse (Evening Muse)

Wild Recluse w/ Rob: Earth One, Louis (Petra’s)

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Charlotte Symphony: Ladies of Swing (Knight Theater)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Gilberto Santa Rosa (Belk Theater)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Pluto Gang w/ Secret Formula Band (Visulite Theatre)

COVER BANDS

Guardians of the Jukebox (Amos’ Southend)

Hey L’80s w/ Andy Ball (Goldie’s)

SATURDAY, APRIL 13

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Outatime! w/ Overthinker, Brigades, Aim High, Noir Noir (The Milestone)

Carbon Leaf (Neighborhood Theatre)

Groove Skeletons w/ Coral Moons, White Toledo (Petra’s)

Bleeding Hearts Ball (The Rooster)

20 Watt Tombstone w/ King Cackle, Mean Green, Fireblood (Snug Harbor)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Leilani Kilgore w/ Mia Morris (Evening Muse)

JAZZ/BLUES

Angelica Baylor (Middle C Jazz)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Emo Night (The Underground)

Jackson Harden w/ Party Battleship, Situationals (Starlight on 22nd)

Requiem: An Evening Of Dark Wave w/ DJ Velvetine & DJ Sanity Ana (Tommy’s Pub)

CLASSICAL/INSTRUMENTAL

Charlotte Symphony: Ladies of Swing (Knight Theater)

Charlotte Symphony: Carnival of the Animals (Belk Theater)

LATIN/WORLD/REGGAE

Don Omar (Bojangles Coliseum)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Bourbon Sons w/ Ellie Morgan (Goldie’s)

FUNK/JAM BANDS

Jonathan Birchfield & the Big Fun Band (Smokey

Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

COVER BANDS

Thurston Howell (Amos’ Southend)

SUNDAY, APRIL 14

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

The Trick Threat w/ Carolina Beer Money, Chris Reed & The Bad Kids (Tommy’s Pub)

HIP-HOP/SOUL/R&B

BLP Kosher (The Underground)

High Fade (Neighborhood Theatre)

Guy Nowchild (Starlight on 22nd)

JAZZ/BLUES

Omari & the Hellhounds (Comet Grill)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

The Way Down Wanderers (Evening Muse)

SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACOUSTIC

Jack Lawrence w/ Patrick Crouch (Free Range Brewing)

Kyle Cummings Duo w/ Tommy Keys (Goldie’s)

Annah & Friends (The Rooster)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

First to Eleven w/ Daytona Beach 2000, Brooke Surgener (Amos’ Southend)

CHRISTIAN/GOSPEL/RELIGIOUS

Gospel Sunday: A Musical Tribute to John P. Kee (Middle C Jazz)

MONDAY, APRIL 15

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Saint Motel (The Fillmore)

Erik Nervous w/ The Mask, Big Money, Constant Mistake (Snug Harbor)

JAZZ/BLUES

The Bill Hanna Legacy Jazz Session (Petra’s)

COUNTRY/FOLK/AMERICANA

Charlotte Bluegrass Mondays (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

COVER BANDS

Far Beyond Driven (Pantera tribute) w/ Ashes of the Priest (Lamb of God tribute) (The Rooster)

OPEN MIC

Find Your Muse Open Mic feat. SaintLogic (Evening Muse)

TUESDAY, APRIL 16

ROCK/PUNK/METAL

Red Rocking Chair (Comet Grill)

Wage War & Nothing More (The Fillmore)

Cetragore w/ Stand Abandoned (The Milestone)

Vortex Fest (The Rooster)

Weedeater w/ Telekinetic Yeti, Heavy Temple (Snug Harbor)

JAZZ/BLUES

Coco Montoya (Neighborhood Theatre)

POP/DANCE/ELECTRONIC/DJ

Taylor Acorn (Amos’ Southend)

OPEN MIC

Open Mic Night feat. The Smokin J’s (Smokey Joe’s Cafe & Bar)

VISIT QCNERVE.COM FOR THE FULL SOUNDWAVE LISTING.

THE SOBRIETY SP ECTR UM

From sober curious to recovery, a shift in thinking is occurring in Charlotte

BY RAYNE ANTRIM

The idea of exploring sobriety and what that means has changed within the last few years.

Sobriety describes the act of abstaining from substance use, whether that be alcohol, tobacco … you name it. When someone decides to become sober or explore the idea, telling others can hold a lot of weight due to the association people make between sobriety and alcoholism and dysfunction.

Without realizing it, people can put others in a box when it isn’t necessary. There’s a spectrum when it comes to alcohol use, with a lot more gray area than one might think.

The sober curious movement has gained ground around the country in recent years, allowing folks to explore these gray areas without labels — a pathway to a more inclusive community of mindful drinkers.

The movement aims to challenge drinking culture, improve personal health and well-being, and offer support for others to create sustainable and less risky alcohol habits.

Sober-curious drinkers may take a week or month off from alcohol, attending more social events that don’t revolve around happy hours or open bars, while remaining open to having a couple of beers on the weekend with friends, for example.

Establishments that serve alcohol have picked up on the rise in popularity of the sober curious movement, with more breweries and bars offering a wider range of mocktails and other non-alcoholic options.

Resident Culture, for example, released its nonalcoholic, THC-infused drink Cümulo in September 2023, a first-of-its-kind offering in the state.

The beverage is described as a full-spectrum plant-based social beverage infused with hempderived Delta-9 THC and CBD, L-Theanine, and natural fruit flavor.

The brewery hopes the CBD-infused drink

provides an alternative to those who still want to relax and unwind without alcohol being in the mix.

Michael Daniels, a bartender at Wooden Robot’s South End location, has worked in the industry for the past three years. He said Cümulo delivers on its promise of relaxation.

“I’ve had the drink twice, and it’s done the trick both times. As someone who regularly smokes, there’s no difference,” he said.

He noted, however, that he hasn’t seen much interest in the drink as an alternative to alcohol as much as an alternative to marijuana.

“Fused drinks will probably be more thought of as an alternative for smoking than for drinking,” he said. “People who smoke but might be predisposed to lung diseases would be more likely to switch to THC alternatives than someone who’s looking to drink.”

A more mindful drinking culture

The drinking culture in Charlotte is changing, and Counterculture Club has catapulted the sober curious movement forward. It serves as a testament to the need for more inclusive drinking spaces for people who want to change their drinking habits.

Counterculture Club held its first festival at Camp North End in January 2023, with more than 500 people in attendance. Counterculture Club founder Molly Ruggere said she was “shocked” at the turnout, despite having spent the past four years hosting similar pop-ups since founding the organization in 2020.

“There was a mix of drinkers, non-drinkers, and all other kinds of people,” she said of January’s festival. “It allowed people to feel comfortable talking about drinking in a non-judgemental way.”

The festival featured tastings of non-alcoholic beverages, pop-up beverage shops, panel discussions and giveaways. It proved to be a success,

with Ruggere holding the second annual fest in January 2024 at Camp North End.

Before that, Counterculture Club has hosted regular events including outdoor yoga, virtual Q&As, workshops, social meetups, and more. The organization’s mission is to promote a more mindful, inclusive drinking culture and community.

“When I started Counterculture Club, I wanted to create sober events because it felt like there was nothing out there for people who don’t drink. I thought, ‘If I want to go do healthy activities, I’m sure there are other people that want to do that too,’” Ruggere told Queen City Nerve.

She points to Restaurant Constance as an example of establishment that practices inclusivity within Charlotte’s drinking culture.

She explained that restaurateur Sam Diminich, who has been open about his own experience with sobriety and recovery, is creating a more thoughtful, expansive NA menu.

The restaurant’s menu includes craft, nonalcoholic beverages on par with the city’s best cocktails. She was impressed when her waitress helped her pair one of them with the fish course that she had ordered.

“The interaction I had is the kind of experience that people crave and fear they’ll lose by cutting back on drinking,” she said. “Sometimes, people just want to have that pretty drink. As silly as it sounds,

it’s super important. It’s not enough to just have a Diet Coke on the menu.”

Ruggere says she’s beginning to see Charlotte’s drinking culture lean into the market of NA beers, wines, and infused drinks and expects to see that ramp up in the coming years.

“The more we can make Charlotte’s drinking culture mindful, blended, and healthier by providing more non-alcoholic beverages, the easier it will be for people to have those options without that decision being stigmatized.”

Unwavering strength from adversity

Robbie Shaw, founder of EVRYBDY Studios and host of the Champagne Problems podcast, explains that losing one’s sense of identity is a common fear for those who are on a journey to sobriety or a path to more mindful drinking.

“It’s tough to remove that time you have with your friends to maybe have a glass or two after a week of work when you can be carefree and let loose. That’s an enjoyable time,” Shaw says. “But once you start taking the glass away, you might have a little social anxiety. Maybe you’re not as loose and can’t laugh as loud, and that sounds a little scary.”

Shaw described a common inner dialogue occurring within some people as they begin to explore a sober curious path with questions like: Am

PHOTO COURTESY OF MOLLY RUGGERE

MOLLY RUGGERE (LEFT) AT THE 2ND ANNUAL COUNTERCULTURE FEST.

I fun to be around? Am I funny? Am I too boring? Am I too quiet? Will people like me as much?

Shaw, who has been open about his 18year journey through sobriety, discussed how generational substance abuse affected him on Episode 23 of Champagne Problems, titled “Breaking the Cycle.”

He explained the complexities of addiction and the amount of factors to consider when trying to understand its roots — genetics, personality types, behavioral patterns, etc.

“I broke the cycle in my family,” he told Queen City Nerve. “My father was an alcoholic. His mother and

father were both alcoholics. The cycle went straight to me, and I was going to continue the legacy of being an alcoholic and treat my own child the way that my dad treated me, and his dad treated him.

“I quit drinking before I had my daughter. She’s never seen me drink or seen me come home in a terrible mood because I’m hungover,” he continued. “There’s a level of communication and understanding that she and I have that I didn’t have with my dad, and he didn’t have with his dad, and on and on and on…”

“That’s the breaking of the cycle,” he said. “Adversity is a powerful thing. We avoid it at all costs, yet it is the thing that helps us grow the most.”

RANTRIM@QCNERVE.COM

PHOTO COURTESY OF MOLLY RUGGERE

NON-ALCOHOLIC LAGER OPTIONS FROM ATHLETIC BREWING.

PHOTO COURTESY OF MOLLY RUGGERE

SCENES FROM THE 2ND ANNUAL COUNTERCULTURE FEST.

NOW WHAT?

As Charlotte’s craft beer scene matures, where does it go from here?

BY ANNIE KE OUGH

“Charlotte has too many breweries.”

This is a sentiment you’ve no doubt heard if you’ve lived in Charlotte for more than a few years, 20 minutes into a heated deliberation over which brewery to go to on a Friday.

Local craft beer writer Matt McKenzie said he gets it; breweries are an easy punching bag, especially in a city that’s seen more than 40 of them pop up over the last 15 years.

According to the Brewer’s Association, a national organization dedicated to supporting local craft brewers, North Carolina has 392 breweries and ranks as the 10th highest number of breweries across the country.

During the craft beer boom in the 2010s, Charlotte became a craft beer destination comparable to Asheville, with new breweries opening left and right, McKenzie said.

Since 2011, the number of craft breweries operating in North Carolina has seen steady growth, but is it possible to reach a cap on innovation?

“It’s not anywhere close to being over,” McKenzie assured. “You just don’t see the craze, now it’s kind of leveled out.”

With the proliferation of breweries in Charlotte, it’s easy to wonder where craft beer can go from here. Queen City Nerve caught up with three knowledgeable industry professionals to get their insights into what’s next in the Charlotte scene.

Coming full circle

“Everything’s on a 10-year swing … in alcohol and food,” said Jason Glunt, owner of Salud Cerveceria and Salud Beer Shop.

Glunt opened Salud during the craft beer boom in 2012. During his 12-year run, he has witnessed firsthand the whirlwind that is consumer demand and interest.

“A lot of the early years were just about teaching people new styles of beer, and small breweries without trying to be snobby about it,” he said. “Now, sour beer, craft beer [are] ubiquitous.”

“The trends are changing more quickly now than

ever before,” added Jim Birch, chief operating officer at Olde Mecklenburg Brewery (OMB).

Three years ago he would have been willing to bet seltzers would continue to grow in the industry. Now, the popularity of those has stabilized and even begun to decline.

This is a similar experience for most beer trends, McKenzie said. In the past two to three years, he’s seen the once sensationalized craft beer movement plateau.

Glunt also pointed out that the kids growing up during the craft beer boom six or seven years ago are the new generation of consumers he’s serving.

According to Birch, folks currently between the ages of 21 and 25 consume less alcohol than any generation before them, opting for newer alternatives that weren’t around for previous generations.

Rising competitors making liquor-based drinks like High Noons or alcohol alternatives infused with CBD and Delta-9 are taking the younger crowd’s attention away from craft beer.

“With the new generation, you [almost] gotta get them to drink beer,” he said.

Birch said he saw explosive growth in the brewery’s first eight years. Having just celebrated its 15th anniversary in March, making OMB the longest-running brewery in Charlotte, Birch and his team cultivated the Charlotte craft beer market for its first decade.

The increase in competition and changing consumer preferences over the years created a more competitive landscape, Birch said. When he got into the craft beer scene in 2015, the route the industry was heading in seemed limitless.

“It was really on this trajectory where if you brew it, it will sell,” Birch said.

McKenzie said breweries’ pre-COVID incendiary expansion allowed access to beers from certain areas that were difficult to find before the boom.

After COVID confined and released millions of craft beer innovators determined to create and sell their own concoctions, the demand saw a bit of pushback.

PHOTO COURTESY OF OMB

A THROWBACK PHOTO OF THE EARLY DAYS AT OLDE MECK’S FIRST FACILITY.

PHOTO COURTESY OF SALUD

INSIDE SALUD CERVECERIA IN NODA

When COVID hit, the distribution model that had previously allowed breweries to grow quickly to meet consumer demands had them tightening their purse strings, McKenzie said. The nearly boundless accessibility of craft beer from around the nation provided a surplus of options to the nowoverstimulated consumer.

Customers had gone down their experimental routes and were returning to mainstream beers, Birch said. Breweries also had to buckle down and reflect on their core brands and values.

To Glunt, brewing is a bit like wrestling; everyone has to find a character. Some breweries find their character in only playing bluegrass, some only play hip-hop. Salud’s persona can be not only seen but experienced during its Latin nights, hosted by Jason’s wife and business partner, Dairelyn Glunt.

“I think that if you just … figure out what exactly you want to give your customers and make it true to yourself and what you’re into, I think then, it’ll work,” he said.

Birch said OMB’s niche is its family-friendly atmosphere with approachable lager beers, a drink favored by the 10-year swing and growing in popularity once again.

To insulate themselves from rapidly changing interests, breweries have to adapt to the changing trends and stay ahead of them.

Whether that be adding food, expanding their portfolio of available drinks or obtaining a liquor license to appease non-beer drinkers, breweries have to be ahead of the curve to insulate themselves from rapidly changing trends.

Where do we go from here?

With Charlotte’s increase in jobs and a young, upwardly mobile demographic with disposable income, Birch believes there is plenty of room for breweries to continue to grow.

The breweries that stay, however, might look a little different than what we’ve seen in the past.

The only cap Glunt foresees in the industry is with local breweries hoping to expand their reach regionally.

Starting small with the intention to grow into a regional-type brewery is an incredibly difficult entry point, he said.

With the number of breweries already established in Charlotte with a loyal following, newcomers have

to be either exceptionally innovative or have deep pockets to last here, McKenzie said.

Even then, he has developed a wait-and-see approach over the years toward larger breweries attempting to find a place for themselves in Charlotte.

Several popular breweries have announced a coming move to Charlotte only to never follow through.

Starting and staying small might be the way to go, according to McKenzie. Neighborhood breweries that have established themselves within a community for the sheer purpose of providing locals with a place to enjoy beer are the ones that will stay instead of big businesses focused on returning capital for their investors.

“I would be hard-pressed to see anything huge like that open in Charlotte that’s not already here,” he said.

Towns outside of the Charlotte area like Waxhaw, Huntersville and Lake Norman have also begun opening their own local breweries, cutting off a customer base that used to drive into Charlotte on the weekends.

This new organic growth over capital-driven business model breweries are moving toward is more sustainable, McKenzie said.

It’s more tied in with its community, makes good beer and is just as enjoyable on a Tuesday night as it is on a Saturday night.

Yes, Charlotte does have a large number of breweries. But, as McKenzie said, what other industry is doing things for the community like they are?

“Breweries serve [a community] purpose,” Glunt said. They house neighborhood meetings, run clubs, figure drawing classes and give family and friends a place to sit down and enjoy each other’s company.

“I think that craft beer is alive and well,” McKenzie said. “But I think we’re just going to see more of a smooth sailing without any more explosions … [like] seven or eight years ago.”

So before you go dancing on the grave of another fallen brewery or lament the birth of a new one, remember that craft beer is mimicking the path of the generation that infamized it.

Past its rambunctious early years, McKenzie said craft beer is finally moving on to its middle-age phase, settling in and enjoying life.

PHOTO COURTESY OF OMB

POURING UP AT OMB

PHOTO COURTESY OF OMB

OUTSIDE AT OLDE MECKLENBURG BREWERY.

TRIVIA TEST

SUDOKU

BY LINDA THISTLE

BY FIFI RODRIGUEZ

1. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: When did April Fools’ Day come into being?

2. GEOGRAPHY: In which nation is the Great Victoria Desert located?

3. MOVIES: What sport is featured in the movie “The Mighty Ducks”?

4. HISTORY: What is the name of the island where Napoleon was exiled in 1814?

5. ANIMAL KINGDOM: What is the largest rodent in the world?

6. LITERATURE: What is the name of Ron Weasley’s pet rat in the “Harry Potter” book series?

7. U.S. STATES: Which letter of the alphabet is not in any U.S. state’s name?

8. TELEVISION: Which iconic 1960s sitcom inspired two spinoff hits, “Petticoat Junction” and “Green Acres”?

9. U.S. PRESIDENTS: Which president

CROSSWORD

Adv tise With Us

THE SEEKER A GOOD DRY SPELL

Going sober curious to start the year

BY KAT IE GRANT

Not only was Dry January a success, but so was Dry February and half of March. What happened mid-March, you ask? Well, a girl’s trip to the Big Apple, so the strategic 45-day dry spell was apropos for reallocating funds toward my (very empty) travel bucket.

Saving money aside, I noticed a difference in my mental clarity, demeanor and morning routine during my sober curious journey. As a “lion chronotype”, I’m basically wired to be an early bird. I am a natural early riser, and my hours of highest productivity take place in the morning. The downside of this, however, is I have a hard time when my evening social calendar gets full.

What I found was that blocking out 45 days of no alcohol at the beginning of the calendar year created a natural buffer around potential social events. “No, sorry, I can’t join you. I’m doing dry January/February to save money for a trip.”

No one argued, I discovered, because most were going through it too, for one reason or another.

Also, because I swim three mornings a week, I found that earlier bedtimes without my beloved red wine led to better sleep, an easier wake-up and a better mood the next day during work hours.

Here is another (not so) fun fact about me: I suffer from terrible hangxiety, even if I didn’t over-indulge!

I did a little reading to learn more about why this might be. In case you are also wondering, according to scientist David Nutt, while drinking, “Your body goes on a mission to bring Gaba levels down to normal and turn glutamate back up. When you stop drinking, therefore, you end up with unnaturally low Gaba function and a spike in glutamate — a situation that leads to anxiety”.

So the timing at the beginning of the year worked to my advantage to take a break from booze, focus on my physical and mental health, and reassess how I engage with alcohol overall.

Below are notes about my sober experience from the first few weeks of the year:

Increased Clarity and Perspective: Mindfully stepping away from alcohol adjusted my perspective on drinking habits. Just because I had a long day at work does not permit me the right to drink an entire bottle of wine while watching (and not really paying attention to) Love is Blind, even if season 6 was filmed in the Queen City. Half the time, I found myself mindlessly scrolling.

Improved Physical Health: Abstaining from alcohol for 45 days led to a more defined midsection. I wasn’t technically overweight before and tried to squeeze in a workout daily, but I always felt like I carried a little “fluff” in my low belly and lovehandle area. During this process, I learned that the calories in alcohol can’t be stored for later, so the body’s metabolism has to focus on alcohol first. This diverts it from its task of burning fat. Who knew?

Enhanced Mental Well-being: Alcohol can have significant effects on mental health, including increased anxiety, depression, and mood swings (see above note related to hangxiety). Taking a break from alcohol led me to feel more emotionally stable, but I am still seeing a therapist regularly to continue working on my general anxiety.

Financial Savings: Cutting out alcohol for 45 days leads to hefty financial savings. Money that would have been spent on alcoholic beverages was redirected toward other priorities, such as credit card debt, travel plans and bulking up my savings account.

With all of this said, I have been mindfully dipping my toe back into the alcoholic beverage scene, which I suppose is one of the points of a purposeful dry spell, right? To reframe your relationship with alcohol.

In reverence of National Beer Day, which takes place on April 7, and so many other local events designed with alcohol culture as the scaffolding, I have learned that mindful choices are key.

For example, Charlotte SHOUT! is back. The 17day festival launched on March 29 and runs through

April 14. The annual event celebrates Charlotte’s creativity and innovation through art, music, food, and ideas.

I just purchased my general admission ticket to the Charlotte StrEATs Festival, which is part of Charlotte SHOUT! General admission allows participation in the StrEATs Tasting Tour, which features samples from restaurants and craft cocktails created by Charlotte mixologists. I skipped the VIP package to (1) save money and (2) make a mindful choice not to drink that extra hour.

Aside from events with food and drink as the focal point, I recommend checking out some of Charlotte’s “sober social events” where alcohol isn’t present, but maybe a non-alcoholic choice is.

Check out Counter Culture Club, for example, based in Charlotte and covered in-depth in Rayne’s story on the sober curious movement just a few

pages ahead of here in the paper.

They are “on a mission to create and encourage a more mindful, inclusive drinking culture.” You can sign up for their newsletter tinyurl.com/ CounterCultureCLT, and stay up to date on sobercurious events, resources, coaching opportunities and more.

Another resource worth sharing is Sober Girl Society. Although they’re based in the UK, their newsletter and Instagram connect sober-curious folks globally, plus their content is encouraging to read.

Whether you’re sober, sober curious, or just taking some time off from drinking, there’s plenty to do in the Queen City that doesn’t involve alcohol (and without sacrificing your social life).

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

HOROSCOPE

2024

APRIL 3 - 9 APRIL 10 - 16

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) You might feel a little sheepish about admitting your feelings for a certain someone. But do it anyway. Your sincerity will make the right impression.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) It’s a good time to clean out the clutter in your home. It’s also a good time to sort out personal priorities and make decisions about certain relationships.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Avoid getting caught up in conflicting advice, even from trusted friends and family members. You need to dig for your own facts and make choices accordingly.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Conflicting aspects cause some confusion, both on the job and in your personal life. Try to keep your balance as you work things out to your benefit.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) Money matters become especially taxing for many Leos this week. Pay careful attention to details so that you can avoid more complicated financial problems later on.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Don’t let regret for a past, rash act keep you from moving on. Meanwhile, a good friend reaches out to help you, and a family dispute needs to be resolved quickly.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Someone you thought was an ally suddenly creates on-the-job problems. Wait for the fuss and fury to end before going ahead with your plans.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) You’re moving into a more favorable period in your personal life. Continue to be patient and allow those pesky problems to work themselves out.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Ask questions about a financial matter in your family. Don’t rely on reassurances. Insist on proof that all is as it should be. And if isn’t, why not?

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Personal relationships continue to improve. Vital information comes in about a matter that you almost gave up on. Ask a trusted friend for advice on a major purchase.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Your financial situation continues to improve. Meanwhile, a family member makes demands on your time. Give what you can, but save some for yourself. You need it.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) That romantic attraction you’ve tried to ignore grows stronger. In addition, a former business associate turns up with important news that could affect your financial future.

BORN THIS WEEK: You have a quiet strength that often surprises people. You are sensitive to the needs of others, even if you sometimes ignore your own.

ARIES (March 21 to April 19) New opportunities spring up for the Arians. Kick up those heels and go, go, go for them. Remember, someone special will be rooting for your success.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Indulge in your love of beauty. Buy something marvelous for your home, then plan a romantic dinner at a special place with your special person.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Your diligent search for the truth pays off. You can now go ahead and make a decision fully armed with the facts. But expect some resistance to your plans.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Travel is favored, but be prepared to be flexible in planning your trip. A family situation may cause you to delay your original departure date.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) Be careful to whom you confide in with your secrets. While you certainly have your admirers, you also have detractors who would love to puncture the Lion’s pride.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) A certain family problem still needs your attention. It would be unwise at this time to let things slide. Things start to look more promising on the job.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Your mate seems to feel increasingly ignored. Try for a better balance between your home and work commitments. Start with a romantic weekend getaway.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Missed opportunities usually come from miscommunication, but it’s not too late to correct the wrong assumptions. A timely call can help reestablish important contacts.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Your usually keen sense of direction needs some sharpening this week. Stay focused on your goals despite some pesky distractions. Your efforts will soon pay off.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Don’t automatically reject suggestions from friends and family members. Some of their ideas might be helpful. Check them out before you decide to chuck them out.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Expect to be pleasantly startled when a promise from the past finally comes through for you. Use this as an opportunity to restart a long-delayed project.

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) An air of conspiracy dominates the workplace. Avoid taking sides. This is one time when you need to concentrate on being your own best friend.

BORN THIS WEEK: You despise hypocrisy. Your honesty is admired, although your friends sometimes feel you could be less blunt and a little more diplomatic. You love living life to the fullest.

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10. 31 pairs.

9. George H.W. Bush.

8. “The Beverly Hillbillies.”

7. Q.

6. Scabbers.

5. Capybara.

4. Elba.

3. Ice hockey.

2. Australia.

1. Likely in the late 16th century, when calendars changed from Julian to Gregorian.

Trivia Answers

SAVAGE LOVE THROUPLES & QUAD S

Quickies

BY DA N SAVAGE

I’m a single cis gay man and I’ve been going back and forth between wanting an open relationship or a throuple/quad when I start dating again. Do you have any advice or recommendations for finding out more about gay throuple/quad relationship structures? I’ve talked about open relationships and relationship anarchy with my peers and therapist, but no one seems to know a lot about throuples/quads.

I don’t think there’s a lot of research into gay throuples and quads. (Hell, there isn’t that much research into gay couples.) But most successful gay throuples and quads started out as couples — so instead of seeking a throuple or a quad, your best bet may be fucking with single men who are open to relationships and fucking with couples — as a single person or once you’re coupled — who are open to regular thirds and/or fourths.

Why is it hard to get a relationship partner to confirm you’re in a relationship or define the relationship?

Most likely because your partner benefits somehow from the relationship remaining undefined — they feel freed from certain obligations — and they sense you aren’t willing to call their bluff. Meaning, they sense you won’t break up with them if they refuse to define the relationship. You can’t call the question if you aren’t willing to call it off unless you get an answer.

My lover is in town for business, but he has an impossible work schedule. The only way I can probably see him is if I crash one of his work events. I’m tempted, but it probably means I’d just see him for a moment, say hi, and have to leave. How important is it for us to have in-person time? If we haven’t seen each other in months, shouldn’t I make the effort, even if it’s just for a moment together?

Being in the same room with your lover and

having to play it cool and not being able to touch them sounds like torture. It also sounds incredibly hot. So, if you’re sure your lover wants to see you under those circumstances and isn’t just telling you what you wanna hear — if seeing you and not being able to touch you would drive you both wild in a good way and make your next actual meeting even hotter — make the effort.

Do I play with cut [eggplant emoji] and uncut [eggplant emoji] the same way or do I treat them differently?

An uncut [eggplant emoji] essentially comes with its own built-in masturbation sleeve — you can roll the foreskin up and down the shaft and over the head. You can’t do that with most cut [eggplant emoji], as there’s not a lot of loose skin to work with/ manipulate/roll up and over on most circumcised men. So, uncut [eggplant emoji] typically doesn’t need lube while cut [eggplant emoji] typically do need some sort of lube. But cut or uncut [eggplant emoji], don’t make assumptions. Ask for direction.

I met a gay couple in my building. One half of the couple — the not-that-hot half — told me they “only play together” while the other half of the couple — the hotter-than-fuck half — told me hooking up one-on-one was possible so long as his husband never found out. What should I do?

You should move.

P.S. Look, some marriages need to end. So, if the worst happens and not-that-hot catches you with hotter-than-fuck, you could wind up putting a highly dysfunctional marriage out of its misery. Some marriages, on the other hand, thrive on chaos and drama [shrug emoji] and you could wind up bringing them closer together. But if they are chaos and drama types, they will blame you — both of them — for the chaos and drama.

My husband and I — an oppositesex married couple — are talking about embracing a more monogamish lifestyle. We’ve written each other letters about what we are open to, what our limits are, and we feel good about where we’ve landed, which is out-of-town play for now. Do you have any suggestions on how we can gently start? A slower pace would work for us. Any advice would be lovely.

Find an out-of-town sex club, become members, and stick to soft swap for now — soft swap means only oral sex and non-penetrative sex play with others until you’re both ready to have PIV with other people. And there’s no rush and no requirement to do PIV with other people if it never feels right.

Familial loves feels icky. Romantic love does not. Newest RAD AF girlfriend occasionally gives me feelings of ick. Why?

It’s too soon for this romantic relationship to have succumbed to the kind of siblingification that can de-eroticize a long-term relationship — you haven’t lived with each other long enough (you presumably haven’t lived with your new girlfriend at all) — which has me wondering if your dad might’ve been a sperm donor back in the day. Just a thought.

Perving to an OnlyFans account that’s the spitting image of my sister-in-law. Okay to do that if I tell no one?

I will allow it.

Why does everyone treat HSV2 like it’s worse than HIV?

Because most people aren’t that bright, first and foremost, and HSV2 — sometimes referred to as genital herpes (which isn’t entirely accurate) — creates physical discomfort, can be seen, and takes a person out of the action until the sores heal. HIV, assuming someone has access to treatment (which is a huge assumption), is invisible to the eye and doesn’t take someone out of the action. So, some people may legitimately experience HSV2 as worse — again, if they have access to the treatments that have made being HIV+ a non-issue for some.

Any advice for a man who has a hard time getting out of his head during sex?

A little pot, a little wine, and maybe some CBT — CBT here referring to “cognitive behavioral therapy” and not “cock and ball torture.” Although … letting someone put your nuts in a ball crusher is a pretty

effective way to get out of your head.

Arguing with queer friends about what’s worse: compulsory heterosexuality or compulsory homonormativity. Your thoughts?

Compulsory heterosexuality exists and is still enforced in many parts of the world with deadly violence. Compulsory homonormativity, on the other hand, only exists in the imaginations of queer people lucky enough to live where they’re free to make their own choices thanks to LGBT activists who fought real and not imaginary oppressions. And since bad things that exist are always worse than imaginary things that do not, compulsory heterosexuality is infinitely worse than compulsory homonormativity.

I can’t suck cock because I gag and will vomit. I’m sensitive to smells and I have a shit gag reflex. Any tips?

Don’t suck cock.

P.S. You can do a little oral without puking. Ask your sex partners to shower right before sex with heavily scented soap. Then instead of putting his cock in your mouth, put your mouth on his cock — lick the shaft, wrap your lips around the head without it going past your teeth, swirl your tongue around, work the shaft and head with your spitcovered hands, etc.

Is rendering a real kink? I can’t find anything about it anywhere.

I’m happy to report that boiling down sex partners and using their rendered fat as lube is not a real kink with its own play parties, munches, deepfried Twinkies, etc.

I am suddenly reading a lot about saline douches. So, is anal douching with tap water considered unsafe now?

My first thought was: If douching with tap water was dangerous, bottoms would’ve gone extinct by now. But I went ahead and Googled that for you and, according to the SF AIDS Foundation, douching with tap water on a daily basis — which some elitelevel/always-prepared bottoms are doing these days — can result in a potentially dangerous electrolyte imbalance. “One of the safer liquids to put up your butt is called ‘normal saline,’” says a list of anal douching safety tips on the SF AIDS Foundation’s website. “You can get this stuff in a saline Fleet enema, or you can also make normal saline at home by combining a half teaspoon of salt with a cup of water.”

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