QSaltLake September 15, 2011

Utah’s News & Entertainment Magazine for the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community | FREE

salt lake Issue 189 September 15, 2011

plus our annual LITERARY ISSUE

2 FIRST NEWS PERSON

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

from the publisher

ably best I don’t sugarcoat it. Salt Lake City is perilously close to losing its gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender news source. We have lost tens of thousands of dollars this year. Our reserve fund is depleted. We, in fact, had to take out a loan to cover expenses and get the last issue printed. I hope not to do that again.

That being said, we will not go down without a fight and this is where I am hoping that you, our readers, can come in. We his is not an easy column to write. need advertising contracts, your referrals I am usually an upbeat person — a to potential advertisers and your thankmore half-full than half-empty kind yous to current advertisers. of guy. But we have found ourselves I feel that our product is better than it in more of an “almost-empty” situation and I hope I am sending this to you in time to reverse the situation.

Earlier this year I was feeling pretty good about where QSaltLake was and had high hopes that this would be the year it would take off and become financially stable. The last half of 2010 showed an increase in ad sales and the newspaper basically broke even that year — a good sign in a down economy.

This year, however, has not played out in has ever been. I feel we offer advertisers the same way. Rather than building sales, a better deal than ever. I feel that our relthey have markedly declined. Due to in- evance in the community is greater than creasing fuel costs and other factors, the before. price of paper, printing and distribution Recent events have shown that there is have increased. Other overhead has also be- a great need for QSaltLake. No other media gun costing us more money. In short, we are source would have been able to dig deep making much less and paying much more. enough to find and expose the recent asNot a great combination in any business. saults in our community. We are continuThe situation is pretty dire and it is prob- ing to work on other angles to the stories

QSaltLake needs your help

by Michael Aaron

T

I am asking you to be a QVangelist.

Fruit of Love I F

M U S I C

B E

T H E

ISSUE 189

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that will never be addressed by mainstream media. I can point to dozens of stories important to our community that have only run in QSaltLake, including in this issue. What other media source will reach our community on safety, health and other issues relevant to our community?

I am asking you to be a QVangelist.

• Incessantly talk, blog and post on your Facebook and Google+ walls about QSaltLake • Talk with friends about stories you saw in Q, share stories from QSaltLake.com on your Facebook and Google+ walls • Ask your friends if they’ve read most recent Q • Ask what they think of Q, what they love, what we could do better • Talk about the importance of a gay news source in Utah • Tell businesses you patronize: • You saw them in Q and “thank you” • They should be in Q • They should distribute Q Please join the QVangelists Facebook page at tinyurl.com/qvangelists. We will be offering points toward rewards for sharing your passion for QSaltLake.

I know you believe in the need for QSaltLake in our community; otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this column. Please help us get over this … what I hope is a … bump in the road.

Thank you so much for your past, current and future support of our efforts. Q

Are you tired of the bar life?

Queer Spirit Presents

CLAIMING OUR POWER:

A Gay Men’s Retreat September 23-25, 2011

Windwalker Ranch, Spring City Utah

Come and enjoy the companionship of other queer men in a rustic setting. Dialogue, explore, stretch, and play, while participating in bonfires, yoga, heart circles and a sweat lodge. Retreat cost includes lodging and meals. a benefit concert with songs of

love & hope in the face of violence in our community

special guest star, with her now-famous object lesson:

SISTER DOTTIE S. DIXON 7pm sunday, september 25 first baptist church, 777 S 1300 east suggested donation of $20 at the door “We’re not sure what we can do to help, be we know we can sing.”

—Artistic Director Dennis McCracken

SALTLAKEMENSCHOIR.ORG

For more information, visit ww www.queerspirit.org/retreats or email JERRYBUIE@MAC.COM or call 801-557-9203.

staff

contributors Lynn Beltran, Dave Brousseau, Brad Di Iorio, Chef Drew Ellswroth, H. Rachelle Graham, Bob Henline, publisher Michael Aaron Gus Herrero, Tony Hobday, editor Seth Bracken Christopher Katis, Annalisa Millo, Keith Orr, Petunia Pap arts & entertainment Smear, Anthony Paull, Steven editor/ofc mgr Tony Hobday Petrow, Ruby Ridge, A.E. Storm, Michael Westley, Ben graphic designer Christian Allred Williams, Troy Williams, D’Anne sales Brad Di Iorio, Robb Trujillo Witkowski

distribution Brad Di Iorio, Ryan

Benson, Michael Hamblin, Nancy Burkhart publisher

Salt Lick Publishing, LLC 1055 East 2100 South, ste 206 Salt Lake City, Utah 84106 tel: 801-649-6663 toll-free: 1-800-806-7357 sales info: sales@qsaltlake.com Copyright © 2011, Salt Lick Publishing LLC

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4 NEWS

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

NATIONAL

Gay marriage foes likely to win right to defend Prop 8 The California Supreme Court appears ready to rule that the backers of Proposition 8 have the right to defend the measure, which would clear the way for the group to take the initiative all the way to the Supreme Court.

During oral arguments, several judges appeared to express concern that only state officials could defend ballot initiatives, such as Proposition 8.

“So the attorney general and the governor get to pick the laws they want to en-

force?” asked Justice Ming W. Chin, a conservative.

Even Justice Joyce L. Kennard, one of the court’s more outspoken liberals, appeared to side with the backers of the initiative.

“What we are going to hold is not limited to gay issues,” Kennard said. “Our holding will apply to any other circumstance when proponents of initiatives are asserting standing.”

The court will decide within 90 days whether or not ProtectMarriage, the spon-

D O W N T O W N

S A L T

sors of Proposition 8, have the right to represent the state in defending the appeal after a federal judge struck down the measure last year.

The National Organization for Marriage claimed victory after the hearing. NOM, an anti-gay-marriage group rumored to have ties with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, sent an email to their members saying the hearing could not have gone better for supporters of Proposition 8.

If the court rules that the group does not have the ability to defend the measure in court, same-sex marriage would resume in California and the federal appellate court would make no ruling. However, if, as expected, the backers of the proposition are allowed to defend the measure, the case could reach the Supreme Court by next year.

L A K E

C I T Y

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Quips & Quotes ❝❝The capacity to harm

another is unjustifiable.

The capacity to tolerate unconscionable. The capacity to remain silent unforgivable.

What is your capacity? Where do you draw the line? In the end it is a confession of one but the acceptance of many.”

— Salt Lake County District Attorney Sim Gill

❝❝

I’ve got a few homosexual patients and I treat them just the same as anybody else. I love them perhaps even more because I know they are going to die at least 20 years earlier and it’s something I have no control over and we need to reach out to them to try to get them to change their lifestyle and back to the normal lifestyle which we can accept.”

— North Carolina Republican Sen. James Forrester

❝❝You know if you just look

at it in practical terms, which has destroyed and ended the life of more people? Terrorism attack here in America or HIV/AIDS?” — Oklahoma Rep. Sally Kern

5 10 10 5 10 10 10 10 5

10 10

10 10 5 10 10 5 10

❝❝(My son) turns to me the

other day and says, ‘One day, I will have a girlfriend. But I might have a boyfriend. If I’m gay.’ He’s 7! And I said, ‘You might have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, darling.’ And he said, ‘Which would you prefer?’ And I said, ‘My love, that would be entirely up to you, and it doesn’t make any difference to me.’”

— Actress Kate Winslet

❝❝People will also recognize

that I have a lifetime commitment to equality for all. And I think they’ll learn that I’m not afraid to stand up to big and powerful interests.”

— Openly gay Wisconsin Democratic Senate candidate Tammy Baldwin

QSALTLAKE.COM

ISSUE 189

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

NEWS

Third trans person shot at in D.C. since July not as I do Police are investigating the third shooting der person in the same area and asked for of a trans person in Washington, D.C this summer, one of which was fatal.

Police have not yet released the name of the latest victim, but the incident occurred just one block away from the first two shootings, which were just 11 days apart.

The latest victim is not in a critical condition and is expected to live.

On July 20, Myles McClean, 23, was approached by two men who began asking a question, but then pulled out an automatic handgun and began shooting. Mclean, who was also known as Lashay, was killed.

On July 31, a man approached a transgen-

spare change. Before any response was given, he pulled out a semi-automatic handgun and began shooting. The man missed the victim but due to the similar nature of the crimes, they are being investigated as a possible pattern, police told the Washington Post. No arrests have been made.

Police are not releasing any information about a possible connection between the first two attacks and this third incident.

Transgender rights and protection in the area have been under extra scrutiny since an attack on a 22-year-old trans woman in a Baltimore McDonalds in April.

‘Dancing with the Stars’ cast causes stir When ABC announced the new lineup for the reality TV series, Dancing with the Stars, religious conservatives clashed with queer-rights groups over the inclusion of the shows first openly transgender person, Chaz Bono.

The child of Sonny Bono and Cher, Chaz Bono has lived a life in the spotlight and his journey of transitioning from female to male was featured in a Sundance Film Festival selection and Chaz Bono it is the topic of his book, Transitioning.

His inclusion, along with Carson Kressley, an openly gay man, was praised by the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.

“With both gay and transgender contestants represented on this upcoming season, ABC will send viewers a strong message about the diversity within the LGBT community,” said Herndon Graddick, senior of director of programs for GLAAD, in a statement. “At a time when transgender representation in the media is sorely lacking, Chaz Bono joining the cast is a tremen-

dous step forward for the public to recognize that transgender people are another wonderful part of the fabric of American culture. Appearing on such a high-profile show will allow millions of Americans to get to know him in a whole new light.”

Shortly after the announcement, Fox News interviewed Keith Ablow, a psychiatrist who condemned the choice and called Chaz Bono a “very disordered person.” He urged parents to stop their children from watching the new season. However, a statement from the American Psychiatric Association president, John Oldham, disagrees with Ablow’s assertions and said there are no adverse effects of watching a transgender contestant on a reality television series.

“There is no evidence that viewing a television game show with a transgender contestant would induce Gender Identity Disorder in young people,” Oldham said.

The first episode will air on Sept. 19 on ABC. The other contestants include legal commentator Nancy Grace, talk show host Rob Kardashian, Actor David Arquette, NBA star Ron Artest, actress Kristin Cavallarir, actor J.R. Martinez, soccer star Hope Solo, actress Elisabetta Canalis, actress and singer Chynna Phillips and style expert Carson Kressley.

Lesbian student forced out of Christian school When Rachel Aviles, a senior at the Christian high school, The Master’s School, was asked by the administration about rumors that she was a lesbian, she told them the truth. Aviles was on track to be one of the school’s star athletes, but she was pressured to leave of her own volition before she was expelled. Despite pleas from other teachers, school officials would not reconsider. No comment was given by the school, citing privacy concerns. The

sanctity of marriage Man zaps wife five times with stun gun. A 42-yearold London man zapped his wife five times with a stun gun during a drunken brawl, police said. Anthony Smith grabbed the gun and began blasting her in the stomach after his wife smashed a mirror over his head. Smith then dragged his wife, Terri, 43, outside by her hair and began kicking her, police said. Terri told police that the two were watching television and eating Chinese takeout when she became overwhelmed with emotion,

school’s website claims it is a god-oriented institution that encourages love for all of god’s children and treating one another with respect.

Ugandan first lady behind ‘Kill the Gays’ bill The Ugandan first lady is the driving force behind a bill that would carry a death sentence for those convicted of being gay, according to a Wikileaks document published in a Ugandan newspaper. Janet Museveni is, ‘ultimately behind,’ the bill according to the documents. Museveni claims to be a born-again Christian who has been an advocate for abstinence-only sex education for HIV prevention.

flipped the table over and grabbed the mirror to attack her husband. Both Terri and Anthony were arrested.

86% of Americans approve of interracial marriage. In the latest Gallup poll, a record 86 percent of respondents approved of interracial marriage. The first time the poll was taken in 1958, only 4 percent approved and it did not go above 50 percent until 1995. The poll indicates that the younger respondents were much more likely to approve and found the increasing support across generational lines. The poll shows a similar trend in support of same-sex marriage.

5

Rick Perry flips on gay marriage The current frontrunner for the GOP presidential nomination, Texas Gov. Rick Perry, says he is a strong supporter of state’s rights. But after constant pressure from religious conservatives, Perry signed a pledge promising to fight the states that choose to make gay marriage legal. Perry also defends the anti-sodomy law that was ruled unconstitutional in 2003. Perry has also participated in fundraising events for so-called, ‘reparative therapy’ groups. He recently keynoted an event for the Cornerstone Policy Group, an ‘ex-gay’ group in Connecticut.

Man stabs wife in fight over birthday card. After 17 years of marriage, an English man stabbed his wife over an ongoing fight about their daughter’s birthday card.

Robert Bruce Dackombe, 63, called the police after he stabbed his wife in the leg and turned himself in. The couple had been drinking excessively and the fight over the birthday card had been going on for days, he said.

Dackombe’s wife attended his trial and wrote a letter on his behalf asking the judge for leniency. The minimum sentence for a knife attack would be 15 months in prison.

6 NEWS

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

LOCAL

ISSUE 189

QSALTLAKE

First Baptist Church Rev. Curtis Price spoke at the vigil and said members of his church are outraged by the brutality of the recent assaults.

“Our outrage has become, for us, a call. A call to stand with those who are victimized because of their sexual orientation. A call to stand in the gap and to meet every act of violence with acts of compassion; every act of exclusion with tremendous inclusion; every instance of hate with acceptance; and every action borne out of fear with action borne out of love,” he said.

The attack is an opportunity for the community to rally around the victims of the attacks, The Utah Pride Center said in a Community Responds statement.

After members of the queer and straight “This community can come together like communities in the area heard about the never before. We can share our concerns attack on Hall, there was an immediate reand fears with those in power who can sponse. A bank account at Zions Bank was make the Utah community safer for us all. opened for the public to make donations, Specifically, our local and county governand some fundraisers were organized. ments must hear our concerns. In addition, Club Metro, which is near where the attack we must look out for each other and reduce occurred, held a raffle and raised approxithe opportunities to be in harm’s way,” the mately $2,000. Club Sound donated a porstatement said.

“We all know that an act of tion of their proceeds to the fund for Hall’s violence against one of us is an act of viomedical costs. Also, lights around the club, although not on the property, have been lence against us all.” turned on to help make the area safer. The Utah Theatre United held a fundraising event and performance at Club JAM and raised more than $6,000. Individual donors have donated thousands of dollars to Hall’s medical expenses as well as medical services have been donated.

Utah queer community responds to recent attacks A

By Seth Bracken

recent string of attacks on gay men in Utah has lead to an increased awareness of violence prevention and a large community response, encompassing queer-rights groups and their allies.

Dane Hall after surgery to repair his jaw and teeth, among other injuries

Outside Club Sound

In the first incident, a 20-year-old Salt Lake City resident was attacked and hospitalized on Aug. 27 as he left a downtown club.

Dane Hall, an openly gay man, was in the hospital for four days, suffering a broken jawbone and several chipped teeth.

Hall said he left Club Sound, which is gay-themed on Friday nights, and crossed the street to the corner of 600 West and 200 South in Salt Lake City, when he was approached from behind by his attackers who began yelling gay slurs. He was then punched in the back of the head and knocked to the ground, he said. One of the assailants grabbed his shirt and began

punching him in the face, he said.

Hall also said that after he fell to the ground again, the attacker grabbed him, placed his mouth over the street curb and stomped on the back of head, chipping down six teeth in a move commonly referred to as ‘curb checking,’ which can result in death in many cases. Two other assailants kicked him repeatedly in the stomach, Hall said. The attackers called him a ‘faggot’ and took his identification and $40, he said.

“I could have died. And a piece of bone from my jaw was jammed into my brain, to make things worse,” Hall said in email correspondence because his jaw is wired shut.

Hall was knocked unconscious but remembers coming to while his friends helped him walk to a police car that was nearby. The same friends drove him to LDS Hospital where he was soon transferred to the Intermountain Healthcare in Murray.

“There are things that are still really blurry from right after the attack,” Hall said. “I can’t remember exactly how I got to the cops. I just remember seeing flashing lights and moving. It’s just so blurry.

More and more memories are coming back to me, but there’s things I just can’t remember,” Hall said.

Salt Lake City Police Reassure

Salt Lake City Police Chief Chris Burbank attended the faith vigil, visited Club Sound and has reached out to members of the community, including representatives from Equality Utah, the Utah Pride Center and a local queer-rights activist, Charles Lynn Frost, who performs as Sister Dottie A Third Attack — American Fork Amidst the fundraising and the commu- Dixon.

“He handled himself admirably and annity organizing, the community’s safety swered all our questions, even some very was rocked again when a third gay man, Cameron Nelson, was attacked outside a difficult inquires,” Frost said. “We absohair salon in American Fork, where he lutely feel like Chief Burbank and the poworks. Nelson, 32, was taking out the trash lice department are willing to work with Artspace Rubber Company Apartments on Sept. 8, around 12:30 a.m. when he was us and is very open to listening.”

That same evening, up the street from the approached by multiple assailants who An Accidental Activist first attack, a group of men broke into a began shouting gay slurs and beating him. While Hall said he appreciates all of the gay man’s apartment and attacked his boy- He was taken to a hospital and treated for help, he is looking forward to putting all of friend while shouting gay slurs as the beat- minor wounds, including a broken nose. this behind him. ing continued out into the street, said Tom The Community Rallies “I still struggle to remember everything Taylor, owner of Club Sound. Taylor said Members of the queer community strength- from that evening,” Hall said. “It’s very he was driving home from the club when ened their response as hundreds gathered blurry; I got hit on the head pretty hard. the victim approached his car and asked on Sept. 9 in Liberty Park for a candlelight And if I’ve learned anything, it’s that I could him for help. vigil organized by the newly formed City of never be famous,” Hall said as he laughed.

Salt Lake City Police are investigating Hope church. The event brought together “I don’t know how to handle the attention the attacks but no information has been speakers and participants of many faiths I’ve been getting and I’m excited to put all released. decrying acts of violence. this behind me.” Q

QSALTLAKE.COM

ISSUE 189

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

NEWS

Bear Lake Attack in Utah County being investigated Beautiful Vacation Home For SALE as possible hate-motivated crime

A 32-year-old man was attacked in American Fork early Thursday morning by three assailants who shouted gay slurs and the case is being investigated as a possible hatemotivated crime, said Sgt. Gregg Ludlow.

The attack occurred between 12:30 and 1 a.m. around the area of Center Street and 100 North in American Fork. Cameron Nelson was taken to the InstaCare where he was treated for minor injuries and released, Ludlow said. The attackers called Nelson a ‘faggot,’ along with other slurs, he said. Nelson told the Salt Lake Tribune he was taking out the trash at a hair salon where he works when he was attacked.

Nelson, who is gay, said he believes he was assaulted because of his sexuality.

Nelson could not describe all of his attackers, but police are looking for one suspect who is about 5 feet 10 inches tall, has shoulder-length brown hair and was wearing cut-off pants and combat boots.

Anyone with information is asked to call the American Fork Police Department at 801-763-3020.

“The remarks were disgusting and we

find it repugnant,” Ludlow said. “It’s pretty early in the investigation but it’s a definite possibility that the crime could be considered a hate-related crime. The slurs were made and we promise to keep investigating until the attackers are caught. We are taking this very seriously.”

The attack is the second involving gay slurs in nearly as many weeks in Utah, and the last attack outside a Salt Lake City club left Dane Hall, 20, hospitalized for days.

Hall’s assailants approached him after he left Club Sound, which was gay-themed that night, on Aug. 27. One of the assailants grabbed his shirt and began punching him in the face, he said. After Hall fell to the ground again, the attacker grabbed him, placed his mouth over the street curb and stomped on the back of head, chipping down six teeth in a move commonly referred to as ‘curb checking,’ which can result in death in many cases. Two other assailants kicked him repeatedly in the stomach, Hall said. The attackers called him a ‘faggot,’ took his identification and $40, he said.

Anti-violence reward fund created by Q Business Alliance A fund to provide reward money for information leading to arrests in bias-motivated crimes directed at Utah’s queer community was established by the Q Business Alliance. The Alliance is a group of Utah businesses owned and operated by the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender community and their allies.

The Q Business Alliance Reward Fund was started in response to a recent attack and increased awareness of violence in Utah’s queer community.

“This rewards fund sends a message to perpetrators of violent crimes against our community that we have the money and resources to fight back, track down and prosecute those who would harm our brothers and sisters,” said Michael Sanders, membership director of the Q Business Alliance and owner of Now & Again, in a

press release.

The Alliance is seeking individual and corporate sponsors to fund the project.

For more information, contact the Alliance at rewardsfund@qbusinessalliance. com or by calling Michael Sanders at 801364-0664.

Checks can be made payable to the Q Business Alliance, 1055 E. 2100 S. Ste 206, Salt Lake City UT 84106. Please include the “Q Business Alliance Reward Fund” in the memo field of the check. Also, please indicate if you wish to remain anonymous.

The Q Business Alliance was formed in 2010 as a gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and ally chamber of commerce and is a project of QCares, a 501(c)3 organization.

More information and an online donation form are at qbusinessalliance.com

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8 NEWS

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

ISSUE 189

QSALTLAKE

Hundreds attend faith vigil in Salt Lake decrying recent attacks

s

H

B

By Michael Aaron

Over 200 people holding candles and glow sticks gathered at Liberty Park in Salt Lake City in response to recent assaults against gay men. Organized by the newly formed City of Hope, the event brought together speakers and participants of many faiths decrying acts of violence.

Cameron Nelson, who was attacked outside his workplace early Thursday, was not up to attending, his sister Marnie Nelson Bales told the crowd.

“Cam is a warm, kind, loving person with a great big heart,” said Bales, who told the crowd that she and her family are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. “He’s my brother and we love him.”

Bales recounted a story that happened just last week while she and Nelson were at The Gateway.

While stopping for a frozen yogurt on the way to a movie, “a female customer made disparaging remarks about [Nelson], and it hurt me and infuriated me that such remarks can be made about such a wonderful and kind human being, about someone she didn’t know and just judged because of the way he looked,” she said. “It’s intolerable to treat anyone as less than precious and valuable.”

“Each of us is loved and valued by someone and we each mean the world to some-

Man arrested after break-in at Our Store One man is in custody after he hid in the thrift store, Our Store, in Salt Lake City and stayed past closing time. Toni Johnson, executive director, responded to an alarm We d n e s day night and did not see anything suspicious until she reviewed surveill a n c e video and Daniel Sever noticed a man hiding under a table, police said.

Salt Lake City police and a K9 unit

Salt Lake City Police Chief Chris Burbank addresses a crowd of around 200 at a multi-faith vigil at Liberty Park

one. The acts of violence that have been perpetrated against my brother and others are heinous and unacceptable. These men have done nothing to hinder the freedoms of anyone.” Bales continued. “These acts of violence cannot and should not be tolerated.”

Nelson’s 14-year-old niece read a poem that she wrote for a class assignment about tolerance: “We all were born naked and without strength. So why abuse the strength we grow to gain?” she read.

“What would the world be like if instead we say, I looked into your soul today?”

Salt Lake City Police Chief Chris Burbank attended the rally with several other officers and addressed the crowd.

“It’s so important for the police to attend events like this; and unfortunately it is also unusual as we look across the country,” he said.

He told of a gay male cousin who was victim of domestic violence on several occasions who reached out to him because he was uncomfortable calling the police. His

responded. The dog approached the suspect hiding under the table and made contact, although no injuries were reported.

“The dog behaved exactly as trained,” Salt Lake City police Detective Dennis McGowan said. “The dog behaved in an aggressive fashion and as a result, the man turned himself in.”

Daniel Sever was booked into jail for burglary on Wednesday night.

“It is very unfortunate that someone would come in to such a wonderful store and steal from a nonprofit organization that is doing such good work for the community,” Johnson said.

Johnson praised the Salt Lake City Police Department for their quick response and the way they handled the incident.

Our Store, which is located at 358 S. 300 East, donates all proceeds to the People With AIDS Coalition of Utah and works to make PWACU self-sustaining. To donate items or to find out more information, go to YourThriftAlternative.org.

cousin was an elementary school teacher and feared the loss of his job if others found out about his sexual orientation.

“It was over 20 years ago,” Burbank said.

“And the thing that the events of the last few weeks have highlighted to me is that we have people in our community, 20 years later, who still cannot come forward because of the stigma that may be attached to them. ... We should have learned better.”

Burbank also warned the crowd not to jump to label the events as hate crimes.

“I don’t know a single act of violence that does not involve hate,” he said. “The outrage is that one of our citizens was assaulted on our streets in Salt Lake City.”

First Baptist Church Rev. Curtis Price said members of his church are outraged by the brutality of the recent assaults.

“Our outrage has become, for us, a call. A call to stand with those who are victimized because of their sexual orientation. A call to stand in the gap and to meet every act of violence with acts of compassion; every act

of exclusion with tremendous inclusion; every instance of hate with acceptance; and every action borne out of fear with action borne out of love,” he said.

Dane Hall, shy and with his mouth wired shut, also spoke to those gathered, thanking them for being at the rally and for their support over the past week. His friend Steven Salabsky spoke on his behalf.

“I never knew how it felt, and how it would feel, to have this done to a close friend.I grew up my whole life figuring that maybe in time that this would end, and hoping that it would end. Now I see it is time that we have to stand up,” Salabsky said. “Dane said to me today that this needs to come to an end.”

Alan Bounville, in town during his walk across the nation to end gender discrimination, led a march to the 9th and 9th business district and back to the park. Posters with images of people killed or hurt in hate-motivated violence were held by some and many sang along the route. Q

Victim of gay bashing granted reparations, attackers up for parole In what he described as an emotional roller coaster, a victim of a brutal gay bashing is facing a good news-bad news situation. After more than three years, D.J. Bell’s request to the Crime Victims Reparation to pay for injuries he sustained during an assault in his Salt Lake City home has been granted. But just moments after hearing the good news, he found out his attackers will be up for parole at the end of the month.

After being brutally beaten, Bell endured a grueling trial where he was accused of kidnapping. He was later acquitted on all counts and the jury called the trial a “travesty.” His original accusers went on to be tried, found guilty and sentenced. Bell said the attackers used gay slurs and attacked him and his partner in their home because they are gay. Even after being acquitted and having his attackers sentenced, Bell was denied funds from the CVR. Bell said he was originally denied his request because representatives told him that he brought the attack upon himself.

But after more than three years, Bell was told he will be awarded the funds for medical expenses, lost wages and lost or damaged property.

“It just comes as a huge relief,” Bell said. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to finally just have

DJ and Dan Bell-Fair

this part of it finished.”

Bell’s attackers, Ricky Ian Peace, 34; Leti David Mageo, 33; and letitaia Tavita Nuusila, 27, were sentenced in May to serve zero to five years in prison for aggravated assault, aggravated robbery and rioting. All three will attend a parole hearing on Sept. 29.

“It’s so sad that just three months after their sentencing they’re up for parole,” Bell said.

“And while usually the first parole is denied, I am so sad that we have to do this all again.”

Bell is drafting a letter to be read at the parole hearing requesting that the attackers not be released.

QSALTLAKE.COM

ISSUE 189

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

safety

How police investigate hate crimes

By Julie Jorgensen

Hate crimes have become a hot topic the last couple of years with some high-profile cases making the news recently. The members of the Public Safety Pride Alliance (you may remember us as the LGBT Public Safety Liaison Committee) want to dispel some myths and help you understand how police departments investigate hate crimes and what happens once the investigation is concluded.

I do not work for any of the police departments involved in the recent highprofile cases and I have not reviewed the reports or interviewed the investigators.

The information provided in this article is general information on how police departments would handle the investigation of a hate crime also known as a bias-motivated crime.

Let’s walk through what a hypothetical

anti-LGBT hate-crime investigation would look like. I will be the hypothetical victim for our case. I am walking down the street minding my own business when some guy comes up to me and calls me a “dyke.” I flip him off and keep walking. He follows me continuing to call me “dyke” and threatens, “I’m gonna kick your butt.” He then comes up to me again, punches me in the face while calling me a “dyke” and telling me, “I’d better not catch you walking down this street again.” I call the police. I give them a description of the suspect, the license plate number on his truck, and which way he went.

The police find him and pull him over, yay! I am not hurt badly (phew) so the patrol officer interviews me about what happened. I fill out a written statement and tell the officer I want to press charges. He gives

Get home safe A guide to a safe night out With the recent attacks at local areas popular with the queer community, it is as important as ever to stay safe when arriving and leaving a bar or club.

Following a few simple steps everyone can stay safe, and regardless of size, age or gender, people need to take a few precautions when going out, said Sgt. Julie Jorgensen, a member of the West Valley City Police Department.

“It’s important to always be aware,” Jorgensen said. “Don’t leave the club alone, avoid low-traffic areas and don’t get distracted by texting, talking on the phone or listening to your iPod.” When walking to a car with a companion, go to the closest car and drive together to the next, she said. And when arriving at a club, park as close as possible and, wherever possible, in well-lit areas.

Salt Lake City Police Department, along with more than 50 other law enforcement agencies, recently launched an anonymous text line. Through any mobile phone the number, ‘CRIMES,’ or 274637, can be used to send a text message. Texting this number is completely anonymous and while police can respond with a text and ask to speak with the person who sent the message, the number is scrambled and never shared with law enforcement. It is particularly useful for those that are nervous to ap-

proach the police.

“When it comes to crime prevention we want to encourage the mindset of, ‘If you see something, say something’ as many crimes are prevented and solved by members of the public with their shared knowledge,” said Salt Lake County Sheriff Jim Winder, in a press release.

A free, downloadable app for Android and iPhone called TipSoft will allow users to submit videos and phones.

“Law enforcement agencies have to keep pace with technology to effectively fight crime,” said Attorney General Mark Shurtleff, in a press release. “We have a lot of agencies on board but we need to get the word out so we can close cases and keep communities safe.”

Get Home Safe – Tips for Leaving a Bar or Club • • • •

Park as close as you can to the club Park in well-lit and traveled areas Leave with at least one other person Walk to the first car together, then drive to the second car • Be aware as you leave • Don’t get distracted by texting, listening to an iPod or anything else • Don’t cut through parking lots, alleyways or other low-traveled and poorly-lit areas

NEWS

me the case number for the police report and I leave. The officer interviews a witness that saw the incident. The suspect is also interviewed and tells the officer that he hates “dykes” and I had no business walking down “his street.” The suspect is released due to jail overcrowding. The officer writes a report that details what everyone told him and that he took a picture of a bruise on my face. The report is then forwarded to a detective for review. The detective reads the report and decides if there is more investigation needed. In this case, the patrol officer was able to complete the investigation so the detective sends the report and the photographs to the prosecutor’s office to screen charges.

The prosecuting attorney decides what charges are filed. I call the detective and the prosecutor’s office to keep up to date on what is going on with my case. I think this should be a simple assault enhanced to a Class A misdemeanor because the suspect’s anti-LGBT bias was the primary motivator for this assault. Fortunately, the prosecutor sees things my way and a month later I find out that this is the charge filed on my hypothetical attacker.

The prosecutor’s office handles everything from that point on and the officer’s only remaining duty is to appear in court and testify at the trial. The hypothetical bad guy cuts a deal, pleads guilty and is sentenced to a fine, a suspended jail sentence, pro-

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bation and anger management classes. I, as the victim, am awarded restitution for medical bills, missed work and counseling.

The Utah State Laws on Hate Crimes are 76-3-203.3. Penalty for hate crimes — Civil rights violation and 76-3-203.4. Hate crimes — Aggravating factors. The first one is the enhancement law which is the one I used in my hypothetical case. The second one is a guideline that judges or parole boards can use as an aggravating factor for sentencing. You can read the full text at Utah. gov. Click on the tab labeled Government and scroll down to Utah Laws and search by the statute number.

The Federal Laws on Hate Crimes are 18 U.S.C. § 249 Shepard-Byrd Hate Crime Prevention Act, which includes sexual orientation and gender identity. The local police department would coordinate with a FBI special agent in the Civil Rights Program and US Attorney’s Office to file a Hate Crimes case in Federal Court. The FBI has some good information on this at FBI.gov.

You can read about this law at Justice.gov.

I realize that this hypothetical case is probably an oversimplification, but my intent with this is to provoke thoughtful discussion. Please contact a member of the Public Safety Pride Alliance if you have any questions. As always, the PSPA is a resource for you. We can be reached through the Utah Pride Center or at tinyurl.com/ pspaut. Q

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SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

Pink Dot Utah campaign will culminate in ballpark event

A month-long campaign of videos aimed at engendering a dialogue and appreciation of Utah’s diversity will culminate with a large gathering at Spring Mobile Ballpark on Oct. 11, National Coming Out Day. The campaign,called the Pink Dot project, is sponsored by a coalition of organizations and individuals. It includes a website, Pink Dot organizer Ken Kimball Facebook page and YouTube channel. The campaign is targeted to queer Utahns, their friends, fam-

ily, co-workers and neighbors, the project director, Ken Kimball said.

“One of Pink Dot’s primary aims is to engender an appreciation of Utah’s diversity — regardless of race, language, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression; we are all Utahns. We have come some way in encouraging inclusiveness and acceptance of all segments of society, and we hope that more continue to join us in helping to fulfill this aim,” Kimball said in a press release.

“Utah is the first place in the United States, and only the second place in the world to make a human pink dot,” Kimball said. “Pink Dot provides individuals and For information, go to pinkdotut.org

Activist walking cross-country stops in Salt Lake City

It’s been four states, four months and more than 1,000 miles since one New York resident started a trek from Seattle to the nation’s capital. Alan Bounville, a gay man, will be stopping in Salt Lake City as he makes the 6,000-mile walk, to have several events and performances. He is walking to raise awareness about queer equality, specifically gender identity and expression.

Bounville, who studies educational theater, uses his knowledge about citizen activism and theater to help train interested individuals and generate community discussions.

“I’ve been making my way across the nation and when I stop and do a performance or give a presentation, I try to let everything be organic,” Bounville said. “I don’t go into a city or town with an agenda. I try to lend what I know to those that are interested in what I am doing and those that want to do more in their own communities.”

Bounville’s stop includes a visit to the Cathedral of Hope, a queer-inclusive faith in Salt Lake City, and a fireside and candlelight vigil for Dane Hall, a young gay man that was brutally beaten last month.

“It’s so important to be agents of change and demand the change we deserve,” Bounville said. “While some groups will use lobbyists and spend millions, but true change has to come from everyday people like you and me. We have to demand it from leaders and let them know we’re not just going to sit back and be quiet.”

Bounville has worked his way through Washington, Oregon and Idaho, and is now walking through Salt Lake City to Denver. Along the way, he’s heard stories of discrimination, cruelty and unkindness, which are what motivates him to keep walking. While there are a few people that might feel somewhat awkward when he tells them what he’s doing, overall, his

families who have an LGBT person in their lives an opportunity to show their love and support.”

Each week new ambassador videos will be posted on the Facebook page and it will serve as a discussion board for queer Utahns and their allies. The inaugural video was very similar to one produced by Pink Dot Singapore, which inspired Kimball to bring the project to Utah. The first Singapore event in 2009 drew more than 2,500 people. By 2011, the number of participants had skyrocketed to more than 10,000 attendees On Oct. 11 at 6 p.m., there is a gathering for everyone interested in participating at Spring Mobile Ballpark, 77 W. 1300 South.

The event is free and participants are asked to wear pink as they create an enormous, human pink dot on the field.

reception has been welcoming and enlightening, he said.

“When I stopped in Pocatello I was so happy to see how the community gathered and voiced a concern over not having any GSAs in school. I love watching the community gather and if I can lend a hand, then that’s even better,” Bounville said.

As a member of the group, Connecting

Rainbows, he spoke with other members about the importance of getting out in the community and walking for equality.

“I decided to put it into practice and work my way across the country,” Bounville said.

Former Salt Lake resident Christopher Cooke joined Bounville on the trek from Pocatello to Salt Lake City.

Bounville is looking for people to join him on his walk and donors to help him continue marching for the cause. For more info, go to IntoTheLightWalk.com. Donations can be made through a 501(c)3 and are tax deductible.

Utah hospitals offer inclusive policies for patients and employees Utah hospitals were absent in a survey sent out by the Human Rights Campaign to top hospitals in the nation asking about their queer-inclusive policies. Only 87 hospitals across the nation participated; many hospitals did not respond to the survey as they were unaware of its existence, including University of Utah Health Care.

“We get about a survey a day and we just don’t have time to fill them all out,” said Chris Nelson, spokesperson for U of U Health Care. “We actually have extremely inclusive policies and we strive to provide the best care for all our patients and treat all employees fairly.”

Top hospitals in Utah, including University of Utah Health Care, Intermountain Healthcare and Mountainstar offer sensitivity training to all new hires that includes sexual orientation and gender identity. The three institutions also offer domestic-partnership benefits to their employees.

“Our goal is to offer the best care to the patient and do whatever we can to make sure he or she gets the support needed,” Nelson said.

Along with inclusive policies for employ-

ees, hospitals that receive funding from Medicare and Medicaid are now required to allow same-sex partner visitation rights.

This means that a patient may select a same-sex partner to accompany him or her in the room. The partner will be treated just like any other family member and will be allowed to stay in the room as long as is advisable, Nelson said. If the patient is unconscious, a same-sex partner may have to present power of attorney in which the patient gives permission for visitation.

“Even if you don’t have the documentation, unless we suspected something was seriously wrong, we would allow (a partner) in to visit,” Nelson said. “We have not had an issue with this situation yet, which is a very good thing.”

To request that a partner have the ability to make end-of-life decisions, a power of attorney must also be drawn up and notarized.

“We try to make sure that our patients have whomever they’d like to support them,” Nelson said. “We offer the same treatment to everyone and simply do not discriminate.”

ISSUE 189

QSALTLAKE

Qmmunity Utah Undie Run 2011 The Utah Undie Run 2011 Protest Against Utah Being so Uptight is kicking off with a festival at the Gallivan Center in Salt Lake City. Guinness World Records officials will be present to take a count of the participants in the run at 5 p.m. The run will start at 6 p.m. and the party will resume at the Gallivan Center. Local vendors, disc jockeys and bands will provide food and entertainment.

The event has more than 13,000 people attending on Facebook.

WHEN: Sept. 4, 5–10 p.m.

WHERE: Gallivan Center, 200 S. Main St. INFO: UtahUndieRun.com

Las Vegas Pride Since 1983 Las Vegas has hosted one of the most exciting and scandalous Pride celebrations in the nation. Following the tradition and reputation, Las Vegas Pride features parties, events, a festival and a parade. The parade will be on Sept.

16, 8–10 p.m. The festival kicks off the next day at the Clark County Government Center Amphitheater. All the local bars will be hosting parties and events, and it will attract attendees from around the nation.

Utah’s Righteously Outrageous Twirling Corps will be in the parade.

WHEN: Sept. 15–18 INFO: LasVegasPride.org

Camp Pinecliff The 22nd annual Camp Pinecliff Weekend retreat for people with HIV/AIDS, their family members and support givers will be held this month. Thanks to fundraising

by Third Friday Bingo and support from Gastronomy, Try-Angles, and many others, registration is still only $35 per person which includes all meals, lodging and activities.

WHEN: Sept. 23–25 WHERE: Camp Pinecliff, 18 miles beyond Coalville on the Wyoming border REGISTER: tinyurl.com/campPinecliff INFO: ruby@qsaltlake.com, 801-597-9844

Self-Defense Workshop The Structural Integration Institute is hosting three free workshops with self-defense instructor Meggie Jackman. Classes are held for the next three weeks beginning Sept. 15. Jackman, who has competed in no-holds ultimate fighting and specializes in mixed martial arts, will help teach the basics of how to protect oneself. After recent attacks on gay people in Utah, Jackman wants to help prevent another similar beating.

WHere: 420 E. South Temple, Ste. 240 When: Sept. 15, 6:30–8:30 p.m.

INFO: siiutah.com

QSALTLAKE.COM

ISSUE 189

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

Openly gay GOP presidential candidate to stop in Utah Along with Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann, Jon Huntsman and Ricky Perry, openly gay California Republican Fred Karger is vying for his party’s nomination.

Karger will be making a campaign stop in Utah for a Log Cabin Republicans and campaign fundraising events on Sept. 17 and 18.

While Karger admits that landing the nomination for his party is a long shot, his goal of participating in a Republican debate is achievable, he said. “ This is a p re tty l a ckluster field of Fred Karger c a n d i d a t e s ,” Karger said. “I don’t believe any of them are invincible. And after I get into a debate, who knows what could happen.”

Another reason for running is to lessen the anti-gay rhetoric in the campaign field, Karger said.

“It’s so much harder to attack someone when they’re in the room.”

Despite being somewhat of an enigma to many, Karger said the Republican Party has a history of representing minority causes and being an inclusive party. He pointed out that until the 1960s, it was the Southern Democrats, such as Strom Thurmond, who supported segregation.

“I’m the only moderate in the field,” Karger said. “And I want to bring the party back to that very important principle.”

Karger’s platform extends beyond sexuality and queer rights. He said he is prochoice, a supporter of immigration reform and supports full marriage equality, which even President Barack Obama does not support, Karger pointed out.

“From the establishment all around I’ve received a lukewarm response to my candidacy,” Karger said. “But the everyday people have responded so well. Really, it’s been an incredible response.”

Karger will be participating in the Utah Log Cabin Republicans fundraising event on Sept. 17 and a campaign fundraiser on Sept. 18. For more information about the events, or to attend, go to tinyurl.com/lcrepublicans or logcabinutah.org.

NEWS

Los Gatos wins Pride Softball League tourney

By Brad Di Iorio

The summer regular season final stats are:

Salt Lake’s all-inclusive softball league, Pride League, finished up the summer 2011 season with 16 teams competing in the single-elimination tournament modeled after Major League Baseball’s post season. The four team winners of the Olympus, Wasatch, Oquirrh and Uintah divisions were placed as the number one seeds while the other 12 teams were placed in the tournament depending on their win-loss records. Division winners were The Family, Pride Counseling’s Softball Heroes, JP’s Collision and Legends Sports Pub, respectively.

The final championship game was between the Wasatch Division’s Los Gatos and Bonwood Bowl, with Los Gatos winning the tournament.

Olympus Division The Family Bonwood Bowl Wasatch Heating & Air Los Gatos

13-2 12-3 12-3 11-4

Wasatch Division Pride Counseling’s Softball Heroes Off Trax Ace Trashers ACLU Of Utah

11-4 10-5 9-6 5-10

Oquirrh Division JP’s Collision 8-7 Cahoots 6-9 Team Trash Talk 2-13 QSaltLake 0-15

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Uintah Division Legends Sports Pub 13-2 The Misfits 4-11 Try-Angles 3-12 Utah Stonewall Democrats 1-14 Pride League’s fall season has started and is playing Monday evenings with seven teams participating. Though the league is full at this point, anyone interested is encouraged to get involved, go to the current games and get to know those that are playing, as the 2012 summer season registration will be held Feb. 1, 2012. Current fall games are played at Jordan Park at the International Peace Gardens, at 1050 S. 900 West, starting at 6:30 p.m., lasting three to four hours. For more information, visit prideleague.com.

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SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

ISSUE 189

QSALTLAKE

snaps & slaps SLAP: Gays at higher risk of lonelier old age Gays and lesbians are more likely to end up living alone and having less contact with family than heterosexuals, according to a report released by the British queer-rights group Stonewall. The survey highlights the societal pressures that many gays and lesbians feel. A large percentage of respondents indicated that by coming out as gay or lesbian, their direct family ties were strained. Several family-life experts were interviewed for the survey and the general consensus was that there were steps that could be taken to help stop the growing trend, but it involved a wider general acceptance of gays and lesbians.

SNAP: Court rules on behalf of gay couples for benefits Just one year after Arizona implemented partnership benefits for state employees,

from the editor A religious beating

By Seth Bracken

held the red manual in my 16-year-old quivering hands. I had just come out to my bishop and told him I was struggling to stop thinking about men.

“What exactly do you think about when you’re thinking about men,” he asked.

I hesitated, not sure how to respond. “I guess it starts with the dreams that I’ve had, I think they’re called wet dreams. But I know I’m not gay, I just need some help getting over this,” I sobbed into my hands, utterly ashamed.

He reached into his desk drawer and handed me a pamphlet.

“This isn’t for everyone to read. It’s got some detailed information and it should help you,” he said.

I walked out of the office. It would be the last time I talked with him about my ‘feelings.’ I sat down on the couch in the foyer and scanned through the booklet called, To Young Men Only, written by Boyd Packer.

I passed the section about masturbation to the part where it talked about how to

“that way” and can only yield to those desires. That is a malicious and destructive lie. While it is a convincing idea to some, it is of the devil. No one is locked into that kind of life. From our premortal life we were directed into a physical body. There is no mismatching of bodies and spirits.

Boys are to become men — masculine, manly men — ultimately to become husbands and fathers. No one is predestined to a perverted use of these powers.” deal with homosexual feelings. I found the To say that religious practices were the section I was looking for and began to read: root cause of the recent string of attacks “There are some men who entice young on gay people is simplistic. But the impact men to join them in these immoral acts. of statements like Packer’s should not be If you are ever approached to participate ignored. The engendering of labeling gays in anything like that, it is time to vigor- as different and worthy of a good beating ously resist. While I was in a mission on every now and then has a dangerous imone occasion, a missionary said he had plication. something to confess. I was very worried Flooring a friend is not a mature or acbecause he just could not get himself to ceptable way for an adult to behave, no tell me what he had done. matter the occasion. There’s no excuse After patient encouragement he finally for violence and any religion that claims a blurted out, “I hit my companion.” mandate from god to ‘protect yourself’ in “Oh, is that all,” I said in great relief. that way is at odds with its own supposed “But I floored him,” he said.

Christian roots. Q After learning a little more, my response was “Well, thanks. Somebody had to do it, and it wouldn’t be well for a General Authority to solve the problem that way.”

I am not recommending that course to you, but I am not omitting it. You must Please send your letter of 300 words or less protect yourself.

There is a falsehood that some are born to letters@qsaltlake.com. with an attraction to their own kind, with We reserve the right to edit for length or nothing they can do about it. They are just libel if a letter is chosen for publication.

QSaltLake welcomes your letters to the editor.

Republican Gov. Jan Brewer eliminated them. A group of nine employees filed a suit against the state and brought the case to a federal court. The 9th Circuit upheld an injunction that barred Brewer’s ruling and said it would cause considerable harm to state employees to suddenly deny them partnership benefits. For now, the state of Arizona has to continue to honor their agreement to gay and lesbian employees and their families.

SLAP: Students threatened with suspension When students at Sequoyah High School in Madisonville, Tenn. began the process for the school’s first queer-straight alliance club, the administration warned them to stop or they would be facing suspension. One of the students told the local TV news station that a club was needed, and that he is often bullied and verbally abused by his peers. After some students began a petition to start the club, a petition against the club was also started.

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ISSUE 189

VIEWS

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

lambda lore Death of a gentle giant

By Ben Williams

he evening didn’t pan out as well as he had hoped. Hands in pocket, to ward off the night’s cool mountain air, the “gentle giant” walked four miles from Park City to his condo at Park West. The two cowboys who had picked him up in a bar earlier in the evening, seemed only to have been interested in getting high. He was tired, the drugs and alcohol from the abortive party was waning through his system in the wee hours of the morning. As he reached the parking lot of his condo, he heard the rambling of an old ranch pickup truck come alongside him.

“Oh it’s them,” he thought. The older cowboy, who had “played” with him in the bedroom just hours earlier but became enraged when he tried to kiss him, beckoned him. What do they want now? He approached the passenger-side window. In an instant the cowboy whipped out a pistol and shot the gentle giant between the eyes.

Probably too stunned to know what happened, his last sight was that of a grinning cowboy as he dropped to the ground beneath the starry sky. Dead. Hands still in pocket and 50 feet from his front door.

In late August 1993 this tragic drama was played out between business owner Douglas Charles Koehler and two Park City ranch hands David Nelson Thacker and Clint Marcus Crane. Koehler was 31 and coowner of the Frame-It Shop in Murray. His friends called him, at 6-foot-4-inches tall, a “gentle giant” who frequently rode his horse, Fred, in the Utah mountains. Family and friends remembered him as articulate, talented and a friendly person. “He was a hell of an artist and someone who wouldn’t harm a fly.” He also was a gay man.

Thacker was a 28-year-old cowboy from Union, Nev., who was hired to work on a Park City ranch. He supervised the 21-yearold Crane, a ranch hand from Obion, Idaho.

Thacker was a troubled man. He had little intelligence, had molested young girls, and was more aroused by consenting males than consenting females — according to a court ordered psychiatric diagnostic testing. Needless to say he had issues with his sexuality. He also was a bully. Crane was afraid of him but they shared a condo in Park City provided by the ranch owner.

On Aug. 20, 1993, Thacker and Crane met Koehler at the Saddle and Spur Bar in Park West. Upon seeing Koehler in the cowboy bar he told the bartender that Koehler “was as queer as a three-dollar bill.” However, Koehler bought the cowboys drinks and offered them cocaine. So the trio played pool until closing and Thacker suggested they

continue the party at his Park City condo.

Crane, once there, laid on the couch as Thacker and Koehler went into a bedroom.

Thacker claimed he fell asleep and awoke to find Koehler fondling him and performing a sex act on him.

“It certainly seems highly probable there was some consensual sexual activity that took place despite Thacker’s contention Koehler had made an unwanted sexual advance.” At some point Koehler probably tried to kiss Thacker which threatened his perceived self image. He threw Koehler out of the condo. Stewing over Koehler’s sexual activity with him, Thacker took a shower, grabbed his .22-caliber revolver, and woke up Crane.

He told Crane that Koehler had tried to kiss him and had decided to “go get the guy.” On Aug.22, “they left with the intent to do some injury to Mr. oehler.”

Crane thought they were there only to scare or beat up Koehler and was horrified when Thacker shot him. Crane was too frightened of Thacker to go to the police but within two days Thacker and Crane were arrested.

The cowboys were tried separately. Crane plead guilty to attempted obstruction of justice and was sentenced on Aug. 21, 1994, one year after the ill-fated encounter with Koehler. The prosecutor allowed Crane to take a lesser plea because he said, “Almost 100 percent of our direct evidence that Mr. Thacker was the shooter came from Mr. Crane. I think Mr. Crane is a good person and a different character than Mr. Thacker.” Crane was sentenced to two years probation and ordered to perform 150 hours of community service, pay fines and fees totaling $1,306, and undergo a mental-health evaluation and substance-abuse treatment.

Thacker came to trial in August 1994 about the same time as Crane. However Thacker’s case came before the 3rd District court of Judge David S. Young, a descendant of Brigham Young. He was nominated to the bench by Republican conservative Gov. Norm Bangerter in 1986. His judicial rulings, however, often had critics claiming bias if not hostility toward women who appeared before him.

Thacker was represented by Ron Yengrich, a widely recognized and respected Salt Lake City criminal defense attorney.

Yengrich managed to convince Sum-

mit County Attorney Robert Adkins that Thacker’s drug and alcohol intoxication at the time of the shooting should be taken into account, and Adkins agreed to reduce the charge from murder to manslaughter.

Adkins argued before Judge Young, “It should make no difference, but this person was killed because Mr. Thacker doesn’t happen to like that lifestyle, or is attracted to that lifestyle.” He summarized saying that “anything less than a one-to-15-year sentence would be inadequate for this killing, which some have termed a hate crime.”

Yengrich countered that the high levels of intoxication played a key factor in the shooting. “I think that indicates that Mr. Thacker did not intentionally kill Mr. Koehler and should be given the benefit of the doubt.” He suggested that the gun went off accidentally making a maximum sentence for manslaughter inappropriate. He summarized by saying Thacker was fully prepared to serve time and was remorseful for the shooting.

Thacker told the court, “It was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done,” and “It wasn’t because he was gay or anything like that.” This was contrary to what he told a fellow jail mate: “You should have seen that queer drop.”

Judge Young, before sentencing, claimed that in his eight years as a judge, he didn’t “remember receiving such a strong outpouring of support for a defendant.” He said he received 49 letters in support of Thacker and only 16 letters in opposition. Young said this sentence was one of the most difficult of his career claiming Koehler had some responsibility in his death. Young argued that Koehler would be alive if he had not “supplied the drugs and alcohol” the night of his death.

He suggested that the penalty of the maximum prison term of 15 years for manslaughter was “too high” and “too stiff.” He then sentenced Thacker to five years in prison with a one-year enhancement for using a firearm — over the protest of Adkins — who stated the alcohol and drug use had already been considered when the charge had been reduce from third-degree murder to manslaughter. Young claimed however his sentence “was not meant to diminish the value of Koehler’s life.” Nevertheless he sentenced Thacker to serve no more than 6 years in state prison — less than the penalty for shoplifting.

Immediately after the sentencing more than 100 outraged people gathered on the steps of the State Capitol to protest Judge David Young’s ruling. “What Judge Young has said is that it’s OK to kill faggots,” said David Nelson.

“Any reasonable Utahn would look at the case and see it as gay bashing. Thacker hunts down and executes someone and is guilty of no more than a third-degree felo-

“You should have seen that queer drop.”

13

ny? That’s the same as shoplifting $250 of merchandise,” said Michael Aaron, founder of the Anti-Violence Project.

The Gay and Lesbian Utah Democrats filed a complaint against Young with the Utah Judicial Conduct Commission. The document called for the “strongest-possible penalty,” including his removal from office.

Not only was the gay community outraged but so was the Salt Lake Tribune.

“Such leniency implies that life — not just Mr. Koehler’s, but everyone’s — is worth relatively little in this society. … Thacker’s sentence defies the premises that life is precious and that the American justice system is fair. … Whether Judge Young is guilty of prejudice against homosexuals, his decision at least has offended principles of justice,” said in the editorial.

Judge Young later came under fire again in 1996 for alleged bias against women, as well as gays, but managed to keep his position. However, when the Utah Supreme Court publicly reprimanded Young in 1999 for judicial misconduct, in 2002 voters ousted him, making Young the first state court judge ever removed in a retention election. Summit County Attorney Robert Adkins was appointed to the 3rd District Court by Gov. Olene Walker in 2005.

With the recent outrage against a young man in our community, we have witnessed that times have changed. Today the decent citizens of this state are fully supportive of seeing that the denial of justice is not based on one’s sexual orientation.

The indomitable Dottie Dixon is asking the community to help. “Whatever ya choose ta do to help Dane Hall recover, recoup and rebound — then do it with all the passion ya can. But please do SOMETHING! There are several clubs havin’ fundraisers, raffles, etc. Community leaders are meetin’ and plannin’ and makin’ sure something GOOD comes out of this tragic event. TIME ta step up, all of we Utahan’s ALL of us. UNITY is the key, be angry, stay angry, but do something.”

I have talked with many about the brutal attack and not surprisingly found that every gay man I spoke with had also been a victim of a physical assault. I would like to create a Facebook page dedicated to recording the amount of bashing that has taken place in Utah over the years. Justice delayed is justice denied. Perhaps putting a face and a name to a hate crime will help some in Utah understand that gays aren’t simply seeking special rights, but human rights.

“Hate is viral. It targets a victim and extends that fear to a group and a community thus its purpose is to terrorize beyond the specific act. Its message is to you far removed. You too are its intended victim. Hate survives because it is sheltered directly or indirectly under the umbrella of silent acquiescence. Its power is our apathy. Its voice is our silence. Its politics our willing acceptance. The antidote to hate is YOU. What will you do? When will you speak? Where will you stand?”

— Sim Gill

14 VIEWS

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

ISSUE 189

QSALTLAKE

the straight line Violence in the community

O

By Bob Henline

ver the past couple of weeks we’ve seen brutal assaults on three gay men along the Wasatch Front.

Today, following the third report, we’re starting to ask what’s behind these attacks. Is this “typical” homophobia run amok? Is it some organized group of domestic terrorists targeting gay men in our (But Bring Her Along) communities?

I don’t have the anALL PROCEEDS WEEKLY SPECIALS AT WEEKLY SPECIALS AT BENEFIT THE ALL PROCEEDS www.YourThriftAlternative.org BENEFIT THE PEOPLE swers to who is behind www.YourThriftAlternative.org PEOPLE WITH WITH AIDS 358 SOUTH 300 EAST • NEXT TO CINEGRILL AIDS I do have a few PROJECTit, but 358 SOUTH 300 EAST • NEXT TO CINEGRILL OF UTAH PROJECT 801 819 7884 OF UTAH 801 819 7884 thoughts regarding what is behind it. First and foremost, I think it’s important to note that today’s technology makes it easier to get this news out to more people than previously possible.

Blogs, social media, and traditional media outlets spread news like this farther and faster than ever before. This, in my opinion, is a good thing.

It helps to shed light on issues that might have gone unnoticed in times past. It does also, however, make one wonder about how often this may have happened in prior years, but the reports were not made as public as these more recent atrocities. That being said, it in no way diminishes the seriousness of these recent attacks and the need for all of us to work together toward eradicating this violence in our midst.

The trend that I’ve seen over recent years is that we, as a society, tend to dehumanize those with whom we differ or disagree.

This underlies the more obvious issue of violence. When we detach ourselves from others, when we create easy-to-apply labels to people, we make it easier for us to hate them. The step from hatred to violence isn’t a far one, especially when the object of said hatred is something or someone that we picture as less than ourselves.

We see this in all aspects of our lives — in politics, in business and in our personal

Not Your Mother’s Not Your Mother’s Thrift Store Thrift Store (But Bring Her Along)

dealings. We all have a tendency to categorize and label the people we encounter.

That’s human nature. What we shouldn’t do, however, is apply those labels in such a way as to be demeaning or dehumanizing.

I’ll admit it, I’ve used the term “Teabagger” to describe those on the far right of the political spectrum. While I’ve yet to have a reasonable encounter with any of those folks, it is still wrong of me to paint them with that dehumanizing brush.

We need to come to a point with ourselves where we can respect the differences we have with other people and understand that while we may disagree, we’re all humans and all worthy of respect. That’s not always easy to do, especially when you’re trying to respect someone who shows nothing but disdain and hatred for you, but, when has hatred ever overcome itself? Hatred and violence only beget more hatred and violence.

I’ve seen some remarkable things happen in this community in the wake of the first two attacks. Many people have come together, helping to raise funds for the victims and to raise awareness of the problem. These are the types of acts that will ultimately end the violence. When communities come together in support of each other, real change will take place. In hearts, in minds and in bodies.

In the meantime, we need to look out for each other, we need to continue to work together, and we need to do our part to end the dehumanization that is helping to fuel this violent outrage. We can’t stop what other people think and feel, any more than we can stop how they act out on that. What we can do, however, is not give in to it ourselves. Q

I’ve seen some remarkable things happen in this community in the wake of the first two attacks.

Thank you for being a friend. Facebook.com/QSaltLake

QSALTLAKE.COM

T

ISSUE 189

VIEWS

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

who’s your daddy?

Vacation — all I ever wanted

15

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By Christopher Katis

he first family vacation I have any memories of was back in 1969. It was t also the last time my entire fama ily — all eight of us — vacationed . together. I realize that for more than a few Q readers, seeing 1969 is like seeing 1850 or 1624, but I was 4 years old and we e were celebrating my oldest brother’s high school graduation. , We traveled the length of the U.S. oWest Coast, dipping into Mexico and up to Canada as well. I still remember bits and pieces: the smell in the Olympia Brewery, watching my siblings ride the cable cars on eCalifornia Street in San Francisco, how cold the ocean was in Oregon, egetting lost in a very large Canadian departsment store and repeat,edly telling the manager and bobby that I was an American citizen. g Last month Kelly and I followed in my parents’ dfootsteps and took our kids on their first family vacation. And because we’re apparently gluttons for punishment, we emade it a road trip to Zion National Park -and Las Vegas.

I’m not sure what I expected. Being trapped with each other 24/7 for an entire l week was a pretty daunting proposition.

But like the old adage goes: what doesn’t ,kill you makes you stronger.

Plus, you never know what you might learn about the other people traveling r with you. For example, once many years ago, several of us learned that our loving, d gentle, kindhearted friend “Peaches” does l this whole Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde number when you run out of coffee and booze on the same day while backpacking.

The problem for us taking our boys on vacation is that we’ve never been the kind of parents who do stuff simply to please our kids. I mean Hell will freeze over before you ever see me at Chuck-E-Cheese.

On the flip side, Kelly doesn’t dance — ever.

With both of us basically having veto power over what we did, the potential for a pretty dull vacation was in the making.

But then I think we remembered what family vacations are really about: having

some fun and making cool memories. And that’s exactly what we set out to do.

Sure there were the usual bumps in the road. We even heard the cliche “are we there yet?” after we’d been in the car for a whopping 40 minutes. No, we weren’t there yet, as a matter of fact! A couple of times we had to remind the boys that the whole point of going to Zion was to hike, not hang out in the (unheated) pool; an entire day at the amusement park in Circus Circus is indeed way more than enough.

But for every bump there were a lot more fun times. I think that’s what vacation is really about. And honestly, that’s what I’m going to remember.

I mean, I’m sure on that family vacation all those years ago there must have been some unpleasant moments.

But you’d be hardpressed to get any of my siblings or my parents to remember one. What we do recall are the stories that have become a part of my family’s history.

We recount the scary rope bridge we crossed in Canada, or how my then 9-yearold brother, John, produced fistfuls of money from his pockets, while telling our horrified parents that Dad had “left” it on the tables in all the restaurants where we had eaten. (Yes, folks, in 1969, servers at such fine eating establishments as Bob’s Big Boy and Little Black Sambo up and down the West Coast were stiffed of their well-deserved tips!)

So as the years go by, when we talk about our trip to Zion and Vegas, I’m pretty sure the four of us will forget the bickering and the occasional raised voice.

We’ll remember catching frogs in the Virgin River, and joke about how Gus sneaked up behind Niko in the Egyptian exhibit at the Las Vegas Natural History Museum and scared the bejebus out of him.

Most of all, I think we’ll remember what a great time we had just being together like all the other typical American families on vacation. Q

The whole point of going to Zion was to hike, not hang out in the (unheated) pool

If you’d like to read more about our vacation adventures, check out my blog, Christopherwhosyourdaddy.blogspot.com.

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ISSUE 189

QSALTLAKE

mountain meadow mascara Stage fright

G

By Ruby Ridge

uten morgen meine Damen und Herren! Here it is, the morning after I went to the State Fair and I am still feeling stuffed. Between the corn dogs, pecan fudge and pretzel sticks, my moderate portions and healthy diet got blown back into the Dark Ages.

(Full disclosure: the Large Combination platter for dinner at La Frontera didn’t help either!) And for those of you who went to the State Fair, please testify for me, that you could smell that rotisserie Hawaiian chicken barbeque across the entire fairgrounds. OMG it smelled so good! I really wanted some, but I had a sneaking suspicion that their BBQ chicken platter was the reason there were no fourth, fifth or sixth place ribbons handed out in the poultry hall!

While we were waiting in line at the caramel apple/fudge booth, we saw the funniest damn thing, kittens. There were several serious looking Tea Party types in their patriotic red, white and blue ball caps (probably made in either China, Vietnam or Honduras) who had a booth pushing an immigration reform initiative slash something, something, something, about American jobs. I couldn’t help noticing the irony, considering their booth was entirely surrounded

by Asian and Hispanic vendors selling knock-off handbags, glass sculptures and designer “ish” fragrances, and the bulk of their spectators came from the same exotic demographics. But every now and then when a Caucasian couple or family would pass by, these signature signers would bolt out of their booth, clipboard in hand and solicit support for their petition. As soon as they were done with their pitch, they would dart back into the safety of their eight-by-eight booth like reef fish hiding from predators under coral clusters. I have to say it was pretty damn entertaining to watch.

The reason we were at the State Fair was to watch the Salt Lake Men’s Choir perform on the main stage. What a compliment to the choir that they would be con-

sidered at such a mainstream public event, on Sept. 11 no less. We had tickets in the second row which would have been lovely if we were at Abravanel or Kingsbury Hall, or the Capitol Theatre but, petals, we were right under the front lighting trusses, and after the Ohio State Fair tragedy and other recent stage collapses I was a little hypersensitized. All right, all right, I admit I was just downright paranoid. I told my friends well before the show that if there was the slightest breeze you would just see a highpitched screaming blur as I sprinted to the shelter of the Rabbit Barn.

The concert went really well (despite the fair organizers removing the piano to another venue leaving the choir scrambling to find a last-minute replacement which unfortunately had a percussion function that was possessed by the devil!). Halfway through the concert the winds picked up, and looking to the south, the sky was ominously dark. I was getting nervous and started planning in my mind how I could jump over the little old lady with the walker two seats down from me. (Don’t judge me, cherubs, she had obviously had a long and fulfilling life already.) Then part of the acoustic shell blew down behind the choir.

It was pretty clear, as the strong micro burst winds cleared the stage, that even God hates the choir’s version of “Vogue.”

Unfortunately, the rest of the show was cancelled due to the weather, so I hope people will make an effort to see the choir at their next performance which is a fundraising benefit for the Gay Assault Victims at First Baptist Church on Sunday, Sept.

25. For the record, I will gladly donate 50 bucks if they don’t, “strike a pose,” maybe more if they use coconuts and Lone Ranger masks on their “William Tell Overture.”

Ciao, Babies! Q

I was getting nervous and started planning in my mind how I could jump over the little old lady with the walker two seats down from me.

You can see Ruby Ridge and the Matrons of Mayhem in all of their polyester glory at Third Friday Bingo (every Third Friday of the month at 7 p.m.) at First Baptist Church (777 S. 1300 East in Salt Lake City).

QSALTLAKE.COM

ISSUE 189

VIEWS

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

17

creep of the week Roberto Arango

By D’Anne Witkowski

I

would like to take this opportunity to congratulate Puerto Rican Sen. Roberto Arango on his weight loss. I realize that, right now, Arango is in the international spotlight for “sexier” things, namely posting nude photos of himself to the gay meetup app Grindr, but what’s being lost in all the hysteria is that this man really did shed some serious pounds. And that’s hard.

Anyone who has ever been overweight can tell you that it’s not easy to go from a doughy guy with a double chin to a shirtless stud muffin posing in front of a mirror with a cellphone strategically hiding your face.

All you have to do is Google the guy to see for yourself. Mind you, you’ll also see a photo of Arango showing all of the boys on Grindr his asshole, but let’s not jump to conclusions.

In fact, Arango has a perfectly reasonable explanation for why nude photos of him exist. As he told a Puerto Rican TV show, “You know I’ve been losing weight. As I shed that weight, I’ve been taking pictures.”

A totally reasonable, normal reason to take pictures of yourself shirtless, am I right? As for the anal-photo, everyone knows that’s a very standard post-weight loss pose. In fact, I’m fairly certain such shots exist of both Florine Mark and Jennifer Hudson. That doesn’t make them gay.

So common is this kind of photo that most people don’t recall that such a photo of themselves even exists until said photo ends up, say, on the Internet. Even if said photo is clearly taken in front of a mirror with a cellphone strategically and awkwardly positioned next to your bare ass in order to accomplish taking said photo while alone.

“I don’t remember taking this particular picture but I’m not saying I didn’t take it,” Arango said. “I’d tell you if I remembered

taking the picture but I don’t.”

See? He’d tell us if he remembered. He’d tell us!

Granted, the weight loss excuse doesn’t explain how Arango’s nude photos ended up on Grindr or how he had a profile on Grindr in the first place.

But perhaps Arango, an unmarried guy, just wanted a place to show off his new and improved physique. Maybe he learned from former New York Rep. Anthony Weiner’s mistakes that girls just don’t dig it when guys send them unsolicited photos of their junk. And so he chose a bunch of homos for his audience instead because they just love that sort of thing.

Though as it turns out, Arango has a pretty rocky relationship with Puerto Rico’s LGBT community.

According to Pedro Julio Serran of the leading LGBT rights organization Puerto Rico Para Todos, “This isn’t a moment to kick someone when he’s down, but I have to denounce Sen. Roberto Arango’s complicity with a fundamentalist agenda that promotes the exclusion and marginalization of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.”

He reportedly voted in favor of a ban on gays adopting children as well as “Resolución 99,” a state constitutional anti-gay marriage amendment.

Serran says that “violating his constitutional duty to guarantee equality for all should be the real reasons for his resignation.” Unfortunately, like most antigay politicians who get caught in gay sex scandals, he likely cares more about getting caught with his pants down than the damage his politics have wrought on the lives of LGBT Puerto Ricans.

Arango has since resigned from the senate in order to concentrate full-time on his weight-loss plan. Q

Granted, the weight loss excuse doesn’t explain how Arango’s nude photos ended up on Grindr

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SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

18 FEATURE

ISSUE 189

QSALTLAKE

Our annual Literary Issue To understand

“What’s so great about literature is that the function it his childhood and serves can be so flexible,” Teare said. “I definitely think there’s development, poet Brian Teare needed language. While he a place and a role for queer literature in 2011. And that studied as a classical musician and found artistic release, Teare, purpose is going to vary by country, state and even community.” who is gay, said he needed something more substantive.

Utah’s own poet Laureate, Katharine Hales, said poetry is “I needed words to understand, I needed language to underone of the purest forms of expression and can be used for both stand,” Teare said. “I started reading and eventually writing.” the reader and the writer to gain great insight.

Each year, QSaltLake accepts reader submission for the “When a reader connects with a poem, it can tell them annual Literary Issue. Poems, short stories and other forms exactly where they are with something,” Hales said. “That’s the of literature are accepted and the most relevant pieces are job of the poet, to create that special space.” published. This year’s selections explore issues of violence, “Writing for an audience is more than just writing what sexuality and identity. you’re thinking and hoping other people are interested,” Hales Teare, whose book Pleasure is the 2011 Lambda Literary said. “There’s so much more to it than that.”

Award winner for gay poetry, said poetry and literature can Writing about topics that are relevant to the queer reflect the needs and status of an individual community. community is an extremely important endeavor, said Max

Selling Serenity

By Dexter Lamph

I stared

through the window that separated me from a pair of Il Duca dress shoes by Bontoni. My eyes wouldn’t move. They were fixed on the brown leather. The flaws of the stitching around the toe were beautiful. Each deviation from where the thread should be made me smile.

I needed these.

I pressed my face against the glass. My check smashed against the glass. Those shoes were now my life. My only desire. I walked into the shop, thinking of how I could get those shoes.

I turned about inside the store. My leer bounced from one display to another. Before I could make a complete circle one of the salesmen approached me, hand jutted out waiting to grasp mine. His shoes were a pair of European dress shoes by Dansko, the poor man’s Bontoni. “How’s it going?” he said. Holding a box of shoes under his left arm, he led me to a long bench in front of a mirror. He place down the box and opened it to reveal a pair of Gucci shoes.

How pathetic. “Before you ask about another pair of shoes, have a look at these shoes. Maybe they’ll strike your interest. Everyone has been asking about these.” The salesman leaned over and handed me the shoes.

“See the stitching in the toes, this is perfection,” he said.

“Tony,” I said, looking down at his name tag. The silver background was cracked from use. “This is no where near perfection. These are, at best, a knock off of what a real shoe should look like.

“See this here?” I said, pointing at the side.

“What should I be seeing here?” said Tony. He leaned forward, almost smashing his face into the shoe.

“It’s the vamp. You can—” “The vamp? What’s that?” Tony said.

“The vamp is the side of the shoe. There are tiny imperfec-

tions here on the vamp. You probably can’t see it, but you can feel it,” I said. I ran my finger up the vamp and felt the alleged perfection. The leather had micro-dimples in them.

I handed the shoe back to Tony. I stood and walked to the window display. I stared at the Bontoni in the window display. The display was just the Bontoni on a clear plastic pedestal. From behind Tony said, “How can you compare the Bontoni to Gucci? The stitching is sub-par. The leather is too stiff.”

I reached down and pick the shoe up off its pedestal. I spun the toe of the Bontoni in the palm of my right hand.

“The stitching is hand done. Those flaws in the stitching are magnificent. Each placing of the thread in the toecap that is out of place shows that is was hand sewn, not fed through a sewing machine by hand. The leather isn’t too stiff. It just hasn’t been worn down yet, like Gucci’s has.

How much?” I said.

I didn’t have the money. Even if I didn’t pay any bills and didn’t eat for three months I wouldn’t have enough. But I needed them. They would have completed me.

I sat inside the church for the first time. I knew what to do. My back ached from sitting in the metal chair. When it was my turn to speak, I said the first thing to come to my mind.

I had seen a flier in my apartment complex’s elevator for Narcotics Anonymous. When I saw it I knew in an instant there would be someone there that would be useful.

“Hi, my name is something. I forget the things that I should always be remembering. Things like my name.

“This is my first time here. I really don’t know what I’m supposed to say,” I said. Just standing, everyone’s feet pointed at me, I was an actor asking for my line.

“Why don’t you tell us why you are here,” the moderator said.

“Why am I here?” The eyes of the audience were on me.

Valerio, whose memoir, The Testosterone Files, is a landmark work that explores his journey as he transitioned from a female to male. The book is a must-read for any queer literature fan.

“Seeing our lives reflected in literature is really important,” Valerio said.

When starting to write, it’s important to consider facts, such as what portions of the pieces are readers going to relate to and what message I want to portray, he said.

“I had a story I wanted to tell. I wasn’t looking for pity, although there were portions where certainly the reader can see it is difficult. But I really wanted to bring out other aspects and show a trans memoir can be humorous, I wanted to do something different.”

The following stories and poems are humorous, touching and at times slightly disturbing.

The pressure I imagined made me feel uncomfortable.

Some sat still. Some shifted in their seats.

“During the Cold War, England had an alarm system that would go off when a nuclear weapon was being shot at them by the Soviet Union. The alarm was called the ‘4 minute warning’ because once the alarm was sounded there was only four minutes before the bomb would strike. It was the last call to be alive.

“I think last night was my ‘4 minute warning.’ I woke up last night, choking on my own vomit. I had passed out from shooting up too much heroin. The person who I was selling to called someone. I dunno. I wake up with a tube hanging out of my… my… well… you know, it was a catheter. I don’t want to go through that ever again.” I sat down and hung my head, looking down at the ground.

“Thank you,” said the crowd.

The meeting passed. At the end a man dressed in a suit approached me. His shoes were Armani. He stuck his hand out and shook my hand. “That was a really great story. It really moved me.” He let go of my hand and buried it into his pocket.

Sitting in my chair, a short middle-aged woman sat next to me. Her loafers were Coach. The chestnut leather was cracked along the repeating “C” on the vamp. “I admired your story. You sound like you’ve had a rough past. But, where are my manners? I’m Serenity,” she said.

Serenity reached forward and grabbed my hand, forcing me to shake her hand. “Do you have a sponsor?” she asked.

“A what?”

“That’s my number. Call me whenever you need to. It doesn’t matter what time it is. I know better than most what you are going through. You’re story tonight reminded me of my own,” she said.

In my apartment, I was pacing back and forth. While waiting for Serenity to get here, I was trying to devise a plan. I needed to know how she used to get her drugs. She was the key to my shoes.

There was a knock at my door. When I opened it, there was Serenity holding a plastic bag. She stepped inside and handed me the bag. She bent over to take off her shoes.

QSALTLAKE.COM

ISSUE 189

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

They were white Barcelona sneakers by Gucci. I opened the bag and looked inside.

“I brought lunch. It’s to make up for being late the first time.”

“Where are the sofas? The tables?” she asked. Her head turned from left to right, scanning the room. “Why is it so empty?”

“I’ve given all I can for my shoes.”

“Huh,” she said. “So, how are the cravings today?”

We walked over to the mattress and sat down. We started talking about my fake drug cravings. What I could do to resist temptation. As she spoke I would think of ways I could pepper the conversation with getting information about her supply.

“Would you like to see my collection?” I asked. I hoped this would make her drop her guard. “ I’d love to,” she said.

I stood and walked over to the closet. I opened the door. With the door opened, all my shoes showing, I felt naked in front of Serenity. The light in the closet reflected off of the shoes. The brown leather. The black.

The alligator skin. The snake skin.

Serenity’s jaw hung open. She stood up and approached the opened door. She gazed at every shoe. “Why don’t you have any Gucci?” she asked. She leaned back against the frame of the door.

“Gucci shoes, for men at least, are what are bought when a successful man wants to buy expensive shoes, but has no taste in fashion. The only exception to this is pre1970s. If you can find Gucci shoes from the 60s or earlier, they’re ok.”

Serenity headed back to the mattress and sat down. “I feel kind of honored. You let me see your collection,” she said.

“I trust you.”

I walked over and sat on the ground next to the mattress. I looked around the room, thinking of a way I could ask her about how she got her drugs.

“So I haven’t been told you the whole truth,” she said.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not just you, I haven’t been honest with everyone. I’ve been telling everyone

that I have been sober for three years now, but in all reality I have four bricks of cocaine stashed away in my apartment.”

“Every time I go to get rid of them I get anxious and I’m afraid that if I even see them I will fall back into my habit.”

Serenity and I were standing in front of the door to her apartment. I raised my eyebrows and looked Serenity in the eyes.

“Now, where are the drugs?” I asked. I reached over and grabbed both her hands.

“I’m going to do this for you.”

She told me where the drugs were. I let go of her hands and held out one of mine, asking for the key.

I opened the door and entered her apartment. I turned around and locked the door behind me. I headed for her guest room.

When I entered I dropped to my knees and started knocking on the floorboards. I was a pirate looking for buried treasure.

I knocked until I heard a hollow sound. I smiled at the noise. I lifted the boards from the ground and looked inside the hole.

There were white bricks on the ground.

Each one was about the size of my head.

I thought of my shoes. The leather. The laces.

With the dope out of the hole I placed the floorboards back into place. I needed to hide them. I looked around the apartment. I was a crack head dying for my final fix.

I couldn’t find anything. No tape. No plastic bags. Nothing. I walked to the door and made sure the chain was on before I undid the deadbolt. I opened the door until the chain caught. “We have a slight problem,” I said.

Before I knew it I was lying about how all this dope would clog the toilet if I tried to flush it. I asked for a duffel bag, telling her that I would go to the sex shop and flush it there.

I walked out of the apartment and told Serenity not to follow me, that I was doing this for her own good.

I walked to my apartment and hid the drugs in the closet with the rest of my shoes. I had what I needed to get the center piece to my collection. Q

FEATURE

19

Condoms, HPV vaccine, STD testing and treatment, birth control including EC ”morning after pill,” cancer screenings including pap smears, and more...

affordable sexual health care | women, men, teens, transgender Education classes for youth and professionals who work with youth. www.ppau.org | 1-800-230-7526

A responsible choice for a healthier life.

Salt Lake Community College (SLCC) Speakers Bureau presents:

Eric Alva

HRC’s national spokesperson to repeal the military’s “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy.

Please join Eric on:

October 11, 2011

11:30 am – SLCC Taylorsville/Redwood Campus in the Markosian Library, 2nd floor 4600 S. Redwood Road, Salt Lake City, UT Panel discussion after appearance.

Free and open to the public. www.slcc.edu/ace

Sponsored by SLCC Speakers Bureau, Q Salt Lake, the SLCC’s student club Coloring Outside the Lines, and SLCC’s Multicultural and Diversity Committee.

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

20 FEATURE

Picasso on myWall

By Christopher Wallace

I arrive

at this party because they’re the perfect environment for observing the human creature — in these cases at various stages of intoxication, from fuzzy to messy or worse — surrounded by all the petty imperfections, obliviously deflected questions and intricate complexities that span the range of inappropriacy latent in human nature. Tonight, exceptionally, is no exception.

There are bodies of publicly naked teenagers engaging in lewd conduct consisting of open displays of their fledgling, wild, lustful sexual abandon. Vomit music sex smoke permeates the narrow corridors and small, stuffy rooms that encase an exquisite collection of pedantic people playing conversation, some of whom are tragically failing.

I sit down—of course in a corner — where I can observe the spectacle un-accosted. From my perch, I see a small, muted television on an end table. Behind this—out of focus then into focus, ad nauseam, et cetera—I shamelessly watch a pair of lusty, straightforward queers — both andro jennys in v-necks and sagging skinny jeans — necking and groping and groaning on a worn-thin plaid couch overrun with throw pillows and a knotted-up afghan.

A bleached-blond, athletic boy of sixteen or so—ears pierced, hair meticulously messy and gel-encrusted (uh-huh) — walks up to me. He stands off to one side and says nothing. I look up at him, into his eyes and mouth, and give him an impish faux smile.

“Can I ask you something?”

The boy speaks. A slight improvement, I think.

“You already have,” I reply, “so please, continue.”

Instead, he sticks his hands out and slides them into mine. We grip thumbs and lock hands. He pulls me up and out of the room.

The andro jennys drink beers, still entangled but sleepy-eyed satisfied.

Along a dark corridor pleasantly devoid of bodies, he leads me to … his room, presumably — or an unused storage den, perhaps.

He shuts the door and locks it.

We stand where we are for some time.

“Would it be … weird if … Can I show you my penis?”

Most things I can think of just then are incapable of being weirder than this request. Especially coming from such a seemingly — and concerned with so seeming — cool, madchill average guy’s guy.

“Um.” I believe that’s what I answered.

He pulls down his slick black track pants. Oh, god, I thought. Ladies and gentlemen, his penis! He sits crosslegged on the floor beside a squat, dirty desk. I sit down, also cross-legged, facing him. Our knees sort of touch.

“My dad — boyfriend, I mean.” He trails off. I look down at the penis lying limply on his thigh. “Both, really,” he says, and sighs.

Down the center of it is a long, deep, years-old pink-purple scar. Next to that is a winding, bent incision, recently carved, which has scabbed over with a red and yellow crust. There are smaller, fiercer etching-esqe cuts that crisscross its circumference in strange, surrealistic patterns reminiscent of some mutilated, anthropomorphic flesh-canvass offshoot of Cubism. It reminds me of the Picasso on my wall. The one with the horses and ghosts and whatnot, and the sex-death theme.

“Your father-boyfriend did this to you?”

“Yeah. Fucked up, right.” He wears a small unconfident grin of shame.

“Right,” I agree. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

I walk to the bathroom at the end of an adjoining hallway that is fortuitously empty of vomiting over-indulgers and junkie potheads. I look around for a first-aid kit. I find one eventually beneath the sink, under a blow dryer.

I walk back to his room, taking inventory of the kit’s contents along the way. I re-enter the den/room and sit down as before. I pull packaged gauze, a small tube of antibiotic gel and two sterile wet wipes from the first-aid bag and proceed to wipe off the dried blood and clean the wounds.

I apply the disinfecting goo with my fingers within latex gloves that are too large for my hands. Next, I unravel the gauze, wrapping it around his developing erection and secure it with several strips of medical tape I’ve cut with those uselessly tiny scissors and stuck in a row to the edge of the desk.

He sits quietly motionless throughout the procedure. When I finish, he stands up, pulling his pants on as he rises. Our eyes meet, and then his dart downward and fixate on the apparently fascinating green-weave carpet. Was that self-conscious gratitude shame?

“Thanks,” he says, brushing past me into the hall, closing the door swiftly behind him.

Yeah, thanks, you’re welcome, dude. I did actually want to stay in here for a while in silent contemplation and whatever.

I leave the room and the door open. Two blondes walk past me towards the bathroom, squeaking about some other dude passed out naked in the parents’ bed after ejaculating onto the bedside fern, sheets, comforter and himself. Warm water is mentioned. It seems a bit moot at this point, but whatever tickles you through the night, I guess.

I leave the party early — right then, actually — before my ride is ready, i.e., sober-ish. Where is my ride? I wonder, walking towards the door without seeing or telling her I’m leaving — She’ll figure it out — and step into a gorgeous, waning summer night. I walk the, I dunno, two miles or so to my compartment complex in the company of four Parliament cigarettes and six matches.

Because if I’d stayed, what could I possibly have said to anyone? Q

ISSUE 189

QSALTLAKE

Him

By Lee Castillo

My grasslands lush with life-soon wither from drought.

What was green now dry, becomes the Valley of Death.

Barron has become where life once was.

Anguish devours every follicle. Defeat is my heart.

One can change the way you feel. But little they think of you.

A rich black vale appears at my feet.

I learn to mourn — it consumes me. It won’t part.

The one who owns your heart — he commands the waters; the master of the depths of your thoughts.

These years of mine are diseased with blindness.

Ignorant I am to brail.

Contents therein are battering truths of him.

His undetected Friction with my hopes are nectar in my ear.

Parade, dressed to deceive — for my pleasure.

Years I’ve gripped them — not to let go.

Their outer crust crushed by strength over time.

Everywhere else my eyes have seen to avoid the truths in my palms.

My sight has returned.

Droplets of red are expelled from my hand.

My wounds are now self inflicted. Cut by my griptearing my flesh.

Not wanting to let go.

The light stings my unused dilated pupils.

Tears escape my eyes.

This battle was long over. My grasp loosens.

But how do I let go? Q

y a G y m e v a H t n God ,YouCa ’

By Adam White

y away.

I don’t try to pray the Ga a whiner. me d me to stop being such ing than to complain to tol d Last time I tried, Go e better things to be do hav you n’t “Do d. sai h you?” He re, so don’t worry!”

“Kid, what am I to do wit probably some great guys out the are re The ys? bo ng to say. If I was Him, I’d like you about how I know what God was tryi . ten got e hav ld cou I r Probably the best answe “Get on my level!” u don’t know me!” or a “Yo a t ou d ste bu They’d never talk to me. t jus e hav ds, father of billions of kids. the t no I’m t tha d He’s got all the Gay he nee gla I’m But that’s why to God, and He’ll tell you off it to n s gift paw to urn ret Try to ay. ng aw Gay l to be tryi So, I don’t try to pray the tell you it’s a bit ungratefu Gay to just anyone. He’ll the e giv ’t esn do He t and tha to see if God really h that too. I just wanted wit the gift giver.

OK tty pre gifting I’m and y, with the Ga thing. I thought about reIt’s pretty clear I’m stuck sure?” gesture than any you e erous “Ar gen an, re of mo re the mo s y. It wa nk it would be all meant to give me the Ga Gay cause people to thi n seethe tha h iful wit e pit re com t mo is tha s ng uin it out either ... Nothi ow thr it, but the glitter and seq t jus lly rea ’t Can keep it for myself. ng in a cardboard box. and charitable of me to Gay in a trash can or livi ted lec neg and t. It looks best on me, and sad e’s ing someone els y; me and my Gay are tigh Ga my h wit d goo d of Gay. Because do I lize er people try to be my kin oth en When I think about it, I rea wh g sin ras bar on anyone else. It’s em e it away from me. really, it looks awkward I do. No one will ever tak like y Ga my s nd sta der I’m me, and no one un ’t take away my Gay. Q y, I let Him know He can When I kneel down to pra

QSALTLAKE.COM

ISSUE 189

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

The Biggest Circle

FEATURE

Mention this ad and call for a free Microscopic Evaluation

By Brian Frandsen

Just like those people who declared “If I choose this lifestyle, I will greatly increase my chances to experience . . . scorn…ridicule…discrimination…harassment…and violence . . .

The allure is overwhelming—Yes! From this day forward, I will go forth and be gay!...” the flammable heterosexual also makes matters interesting regarding the matter of choice: picks his preference as next to way past godliness; ignores brothers and sisters of his same tongue who can slumber serenely in their skin because they don’t make a mockery of the love that gets lost in tomes of religious teachings; shuns the gift of intimacy with self, and runs from question marks for the cocoons of conceptual aftershocks; passively watches men make tyrannical spectacles of women after he froths at hands holding softly in daylight, and knows of husbands who have their children ringside as they try to beat their shit into their wives night after night, but he never dreams of attacking, or campaigning against, heterosexuality; suspects he is so magnetically scrumptious that not a one could possibly resist him— Not to worry. Tastebuds are notorious for the artistry behind their eyes.

There are just as many people who will find you unappealing as there are those who will find beauty around you, and there are those will see you as another tender creature careening between fear and love.

Local bookstores have much to offer the queer community With Kindles, iPhones and Amazon.com, the way people read is changing faster than ever. The concept of holding a book in hand while quietly sipping a cup of coffee at a local store is foreign to so many, but the bookstore is not done fighting, said Sam Weller’s Bookstore employee Zach Sampinos.

“We’re working to become even more relevant in today’s world too,” Sampinos said. “And I really don’t think that people are going to stop wanting to have a book in hand when they’re at the park or coffee shop. There’s a definite value to walking into a bookstore and finding a book that you can touch and hold.”

Sam Weller’s has several sections to find queer and queer-related books including a gay and lesbian fiction section. There’s also sections for men’s and women’s issues, as well as sexuality in general.

“I hope everyone, regardless of sexuality, can feel comfortable walking into the store,” Sampinos said.

Love cannot be brought to ash by the burning spectacles of majority conceptions and traditions.

It will continue to pulse in multiplicitous forms: hands softening hands of ostracized individuals trying to rub sight into a new life; a boy breaking bones of his bigotry; a partner in possibility walking through a midnight window and wearing nothing but nothing, the lines of her skin smiling like a stack of cradled half-moons resting against the sky; a pause and perfect silence between sets of eyes; bodies with bodies that can’t— and have no interest— in making up their minds; sames mesmerizing sames; opposites magnetizing opposites; color looking at color looking at color looking at color and seeing our rainbow before colonialism began the hijack— all of us after a touch we can taste, a taste that floods the entire body and breathes a moment of impervious eternity.

And hearts will continue to echo and expand as emperors march paradigms of oppression to the graveyards they precipitated by precipitating progress.

Hearts will continue to stretch beyond constrictive tentacles that crumble in the reach of yes and no, wrong and right, for love is a greater universe than the empire of any appetite. Q

Books written by queer authors, stories featuring prominent queer characters and non-fiction books about queer issues are frequently featured and prominently displayed at the store. Sam Weller’s, 254 S. Main St., also has a coffee shop inside and is conveniently located next to a Trax stop. Its environment is welcoming and a terrific resource for queer Utahns to find a wide assortment of literature.

Independent bookstores offer a level of service and personality that can’t be found online, Sampinos said.

Another independent book store, The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, offers a welcoming environment and a section for gender studies and queer issues. If a book is not carried in stock, it can be ordered through the store.

Both stores feature readings from authors and other events.

Watch for some of the more popular selections, including, It Gets Better, Transition, by Chaz Bono, and Angels in America. For a complete list of all the books, stop by and get to know the local store.

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21

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

22 FEATURE

ISSUE 189

QSALTLAKE

The Saddest Day of My Life

By Christopher Wallace

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It snowed a wet blanket of ice snow that left the streets dry slick on the night before the saddest day of my life.

I went to a bookstore; pushed past fat man couldn’t breathe pant speak— I bought Being and Nothingness on the saddest day of my life.

Museum lady talked talked talked looked looked looked like Emily Fern; older though, less concerned.

Too many coats in the morning and two few at night; I was hot cold on the saddest day of my life.

I drank beer in the early afternoon— two bottles side by side in the black plastic bag of trash.

Thinking, Do you hate me? Do call me; I had fun.

You wrinkle your brow. What did you say?

Oh, I had fun too, bye— and look at me like I know what you’re thinking, but a best guess is still a guess; goodbye.

I didn’t say no on the saddest day of my life.

Oh, and come to my kissy red make-out beanbag red-light liquor candlestick Valentine I love you party.

Oh, no.

I tried to quit smoking on the saddest day of my life.

I bought a pack at eight, interrupted inventory Camel Lights ID? six seventy-seven matches? thank you thank you so much have a good day sign here have a good night thank you, thank you— match flick light smoke breathe drive— Pep talk, rear-view mirror: Don’t let it get to you, boy.

No self-loathing isolated pitiful self no— please shut up; you’re hurting my ears head brain.

I kissed a girl who didn’t then, doesn’t now and will never love me On the saddest day of my life.

Close enough to smell her body perfume hot fake watermelon breath blown bubbles gum, and her eyes never closed.

Sex sex sex and touch me; it’s good for your body mind soul spirit; touch strangers to feel connected; they’ll think you’re gay cute, love, and let you do it.

Her friend played Free Cell; Captain Planet magazine pretend to read say something goddamn it, say something; look glance confused; fuck shut up say something, say anything fuck ...

Small talk hug drive safe sleep well goodnight ‘bye, ‘bye.

A piss and to bed; goodnight, Moon.

I slept on a slowly deflating air mattress on the saddest day of my life.

QSALTLAKE.COM

ISSUE 189

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

FEATURE

fabulous group SLCC Writing Center welcomes and supports diversity

23

Season tickets are available for only $85 (Students: $52) This is 30% off the regular ticket price!

By Seth Bracken

R

eading and writing go together like peanut butter and jelly, cookies and milk, a drag queen and glitter. Twice a month, queer and queer-friendly writers get together for a writing series hosted by the Salt Lake Community College’s Community Writing Center to share their work with other members.

“We welcome everyone and every type of writing,” said Brandee Boyer, a mentor for the group. “Everything from a poem, to a paper for school or a letter to the editor. You can literally share anything you’ve written.”

The group meets the second and fourth Monday of each month, 6:30–8 p.m. at the Salt Lake City Library to share pieces of their written works and listen to feedback. Everyone, not just students, is welcome to attend.

“We don’t attack anyone or their writing. We just listen and share our thoughts about what was written. Everything is very friendly, and sometimes it can be so helpful to just sit down and listen to yourself read and hear what everyone’s reactions are,” Boyer said.

Boyer, a straight woman, started her love of the queer community after randomly wandering into her new neighborhood bar when she moved to Seattle from her home in Salt Lake City. After she walked into the Men’s Room bear bar, she sensed something was off when she looked around and saw almost exclusively big, hairy men.

“I asked if I needed to leave and if I was welcome,” Boyer said. “They welcomed me when I needed it most and I feel like I found my family.”

The group is headed by two mentors, Boyer and Doug Woodall. The group is part of the SLCC

Diverse City Writing Series that includes groups for environmental writing and other topics and styles. The attendance at the workshop varies, but it is always a welcoming environment and a terrific place to make new friends, Boyer said.

There are also opportunities to be published through the group.

Other projects headed up by the Diverse City Writing Series include a Freedom Writers Campaign. Submissions on civil rights, including queer rights, are accepted for part of a citywide project celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Freedom Riders Campaign where people were escorted to register to vote. The winning submissions will be published on their website and linked to PBS.org, said Andrea Malouf, the director of the SLCC Community Writing Center. To submit a piece, go to SLCC.edu/cwc for more information.

“The goal is to communicate and give each other feedback on a very equal level and provide opportunities for writers that wouldn’t be available otherwise,” Malouf said.

The Writing Center is also partnering with other organizations, including the Grand Theatre to present coming out stories on National Coming Out Day, which is Oct. 11. Queer-rights activist Eric Alva will be the featured guest at the event.

“Writing is changing so much faster than anyone anticipated, I think. With blogs, Facebook posts and even tweets, there’s so many ways to express creativity and write,” Boyer said. “Most people are writing every day and don’t really even realize it.” Q

For more information about the group, go to tinyurl.com/utgaywriters or SLCC.edu/cwc.

September 22-24, 2011 For people of all ages to hang out, play pool, get on the internet, play music COFFEE BURGERS SANDWICHES SOUPS SALADS APPETIZERS BREAKFAST BRUNCH POOL TABLE VIDEO GAMES JUKE BOX FREE WIFI OPEN Mon-Thur 7a–7p Friday 7a-3p AND After Bar Closing Fridays and Saturdays

259 W 900 S 801 364-4307

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Next to Club Try-Angles, Half Block from TRAX in the NEW Gayborhood!

Home of the Happy Hangover Sunday Brunch

7:30

PM

Jeanné Wagner Theatre I Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center

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VIP receptions catered by Christopher’s Prime Steak House & Grill

11am–2pm

Q PON

Free Soda or Coffee with food purchase

Emma Eccles Jones Foundation

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

24 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

ISSUE 189

QSALTLAKE

Vincent Frank

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT gay agenda From Cole to Geena and ‘The 39 Steps’ in between

By Tony Hobday

Well spritz and powder my yoohoo and call me Gene Naté, it’s time for his damned birthday again. He’s blown more candles than Margaret Cho ... or George Michael ... has sailors. Anyhoo, my yoohoo and his yoohoo will be on Yahoo doing the Chattanooga Choo Choo on the night of his birthday bash, Sept.

17. But you can also catch a live performance of it at Club Try-Angles later that same night ... woohoo!

15 16

thursDAY — Centerpoint Legacy Theatre pres-

QQ The Seattle-based indie rock band Ivan & Aloysha opened for Brandi Carlile a few weeks back at Red Butte Garden, and they were fantastic ... something out of the ordinary. The name of the band is based on the main characters of Dostoevsky’s Brothers Karamazov who discuss the existence of God, and this discussion resonates through the band’s music ... without being preachy, thank god!

See Sept. 28

7pm, Kilby Court, 750 S. Kilby Court. Tickets $8/adv.–$10/ day of show, 24tix.com.

22

thursday

— RirieWoodbury Dance Company’s Polychromatic showcases four unique works. The premiere of “Grid” is Brook Notary’s visually mesmerizing and physically charged work.

7:30pm, through Sept. 30, Centerpoint Legacy Theatre, 525 N. 400 West, The New York Times has proclaimed her “adCenterville. Tickets $15–18, 801-238-1302 or centerpointtheatre.com. ept at theatrical conjuration.” “Happiness” is an intriguing new work that explores “... friDAY — Pioneer Theatre Company opens the 2011-12 season with the Pulitzer Prize-winning drama the mental state of well-being characterized by positive emotions ranging from contentNext to Normal. The rock musical is a moving ment to intense joy.” Larry Keigwin’s “80’s story about a family — a mother with bipolar disorder, a father fighting bouts of depression, an anxious Night” is an entertaining look at popular culture in the 1980s. In contrast, “Spurts do-good daughter and a son looking out for all of them. It has received accolades for its tender, insightful, funny and heartbreaking of Activity before the Emptiness of Late portrayal of a family trying to come to terms with life, love and loss. Afternoon” by John Jasperse, is a reflective exploration of time and accidental behavior.

7:30pm, through Oct. 1, Pioneer Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, UofU. Tickets ents openly gay composer Cole Porter’s Anything Goes, a fun-loving musical hit, from 1934, combining stowaways in disguises, mobsters, lounge singers and evangelists, and contains some of the most popular Broadway songs like “De-Lovely” and “I Get A Kick Out Of You.” Plus it has a happy ending, and who doesn’t love happy endings.

$36–62, 801-581-6961 or pioneertheatre.org.

UPCOMING EVENTS Sept. 30 Kathy Griffin Abravanel Hall

Sept. 30 Plain White T’s SLCC Lifetime Activites Ctr

Oct. 13 An Evening with John Waters Rose Wagner Ctr

Oct. 22 Big Gay Fun Bus to Wendover biggayfunbus.com

QQ A month-long celebration of the bisexual Mexican painter Frida Kahlo kicks off today with a ribbon cutting ceremony, Viva Frida! art exhibits and a gallery stroll treasure hunt. Ole! The celebration also includes a kids art contest, art classes, health fairs, a look-alike contest, and films and discussions by local and international scholars on Mexican art and culture.

Times & venues vary, through Oct. 20. vivafridautah.org.

17

saturDAY — This is a little out in left field, but it is

7:30pm, through Saturday, Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $30, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org.

23

friday — The controversial

lesbian film Circumstance won the US Dramatic Audience Award at the 2011 Sundance Film Festival. It is a suspenseful tale of love and family upended by obsession and suspicion; a provocative coming-of-age story that cracks open the hidden, underground world of Iranian youth culture, where a young woman’s most electrifying passions can become the most dangerous of secrets.

Tony-esque. Recently I watched an episode of MTV’s Awkward., a half-hour, high school comedy. It was freakin’ funny ... love the neurotic school counselor. The episode included a mock DUI accident, which isn’t a funny subject, but the lesbian-like life-saving force made me giggle. Anyhoo, this year’s 9th & 9th Street Festival, along with food, dancing, live mu- Hours vary, Broadway Centre Cinemas, 111 E. sic, crafts and art, will also include a Mock Emergency Disaster at noon. Broadway. Tickets $6.25–8.75, 801-746-0288.

Watch for the all the gay boys racing to save the naked mannequins in saturday — The Old Lyric Cahoots from an earthquake.

10am–6pm, 900 South and 900 East. Free, 9thandothstreetfestival.com.

19

monDAY — She was the supremest Supreme,

she has the rattiest hairdo, she wears fabulous gowns and she is a knockout-dragdown incredible singer; she is Diana Ross. The 12-time Grammynominated artists hits the Utah stage for an evening of great Motown R&B, with a little bit of soul and jazz.

7:30pm, Energy Solutions Arena, 301 W. South Temple. Tickets $35–95, 801-467-8499 or smithstix.com.

24

Repertory Company calls it “a mile-a-minute, thrilling comic spy story, where Hitchcock meets halirty.” They proudly present the Tony award-winning The 39 Steps. Based on the 1935 film, a man in London tries to help a counterespionage agent, but when the agent is killed and he stands

accused, he goes on the run to save himself and some top secret information.

8pm tonight & 6pm tomorrow, Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main St., Park City. Tickets $12–30, 435-6499371 or egyptiantheatrecompany.org.

25

SUNDAY — Gail-force winds

forced the Salt Lake Men’s Choir to exit the stage at the Utah State Fair halfway through their concert, but you can see what everyone missed at a special fundraiser concert The Fruit of Love to combat violence against our community.

7pm, First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East. Suggested donation $20 at the door. ­saltlakemenschoir.org.

28

wednesday — The last

time I saw Erasure in concert was in 2006, an intimate acoustic concert at Kingsbury Hall; the band was promoting their first acoustic album Union Street.

It feels like only yesterday! I’m ecstatic they are returning to the same venue for what I can only assume will be another kick-ass concert, don’t miss it. British electropop artist Frankmusik (Vincent Frank opens).

8pm, Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, UofU. Tickets $39.50–60, 801-581-7100 or kingsburyhall.org.

QQ The Salt Lake Film Center presents An Evening with Geena Davis, a celebration of the 20th anniversary of Thelma and Louise. Along with a screening of the film, Ms. Davis will be interviewed about her life and career, and there will be a Q-and-A with the film’s producer, Mimi Polk Gitlin.

7pm, Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $50, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org.

QSALTLAKE.COM

ISSUE 189

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

review ‘Mary Poppins’: A practically perfect musical

By Tony Hobday

B

roadway in Utah’s 2011-12 season opener is, which usually I don’t divulge in the first line of a review, a heart-warming, thrilling, magical extravaganza for children and adults alike. The sanguine, esoteric nanny that any child would adore and any parent would admire, Disney’s Mary Poppins, pops with style and brilliance, and will take your breath away.

Based on the 1964 film, the original Broadway production garnered an astounding 13 Tony nominations in 2007, including Best Set Design (which it won) and Best Costume Design, both

by Bob Crowley. If QSaltLake’s Fabby Awards were being handed out today, Bob Crowley would be taking two home to display proudly on the mantle. In this production, Crowley’s sets are magnificent and rub gently against every nook and cranny of the Capitol Theatre stage.

The Banks’ manor is especially enchanting as it forms and folds like a pop-up book. Crowley’s costumes fit the style of Victorian London and many are quite exquisite. Kudos to Crowley’s associates, as well: Christine Rowland, Rosalind Coombes and Matt Kinley.

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Stefanie Leigh, in the title role, is downright motherly and her voice is delightfully jovial.

(Hopefully Julie Andrews isn’t as brutish as Bette Midler.) Mary Poppins’ chimney-sweep buddy Bert (Nicolas Dromard) is absolutely adorable especially when he’s being flirty. These two made their jobs look and sound so easy, though they had the most acrobatic of parts.

Now, the Banks family is something different.

This is where the drama unfolds. George Banks (Laird Mackintosh) is an uptight, burdened banker and his wife, Winifred (Blythe Wilson), is a has-been actress (new to the story) who’s having difficulty coping as a socialite wife.

Mackintosh is finely stoic in his performance and Wilson’s transition from woman-on-his-arm to head-of-household has real gumption behind it. Their holy-terror children Jane and Michael (for this performance, Marissa Smoker and Tyler Merna) are unruly as they seek daddy’s love and approval. Of course if I couldn’t get my dad to give me a kite, either, I’d probably ask for eman-

cipation. Smoker and Merna are cute and pretty well-rounded child actors and, if memory serves, have much more stage time than originally written, so kudos to their hard work and dedication to their roles; although Merna’s whole “cod” thing was a bit distracting.

Choreographers Matthew Bourne and Stephen Mear step it up with some amazing routines. The ensemble cast spelling out supercalifragilisticexpialidocius with their arms and doing some fancy footwork, whoa! They were on the hot tamale train that night. (Hopefully the Village People aren’t as brutish as Bette Midler.)

Honestly, I wasn’t expecting as much as I received, and I’m extremely happy I had the chance to see this spectacle ... the good kind.

Broadway in Utah’s production of Mary Poppins is a magical memory that will last a lifetime. Q

The production runs through Sept. 25, Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South. Tickets available at arttix.com or 801-355-ARTS.

Winner of 3 Tony AWArds

including BesT MusicAl score

s

“Next to Normal is a brave, breathtaking musical … It is something much more than a feel-good musical.

It is a feel-everything musical.”

— The New York Times

u

-

September 16 – October 1, 2011

Next to Normal

-

music by

tOm kitt

book and lyrics by

brian yOrkey

Contains strong language and themes.

Winner of the 2010 Pulitzer Prize for Drama

25

801.581.6961 Pioneertheatre.org

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

26 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

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ISSUE 189

save the date September 16–18

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lasvegaspride.org September 17

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October 22

Big Gay Fun Bus to West Wendover, Nev. biggayfunbus.com November 19

sWerve Butch/Femme Ball swerveutah.com December 1

World AIDS Day sWerve Oktoberfest worldaidsday.org swerveutah.com September 17

UAF Bike & Walk for Life

2305 South Highland Drive – 801-484-2771

Don R. Austin, LCSW

utahaids.org Sept. 29–Oct. 1

Moab Pride Festival moabpride.org

December 9–11

Salt Lake Men’s Choir Holiday Concert saltlakemenschoir.org December 17

sWerve White Party swerveutah.com

October 11

December 18

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October 15

January 19–29

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ISSUE 189

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

october first iday social

Free Night of Theater expands throughout October Now Playing Utah and the Utah Division of Arts & Museums have broadened the annual Free Night Program to include theater performances throughout the month of October.

Free Night of Theater is an initiative of the Theatre Communications Group that strives to initiate more interest in live theater. If you’ve yet to become a patron of live theater or if you’re an avant garde, this program provides an easily accessible opportunity to experience some of the finest theater performances Utah has to offer.

Instead of being restricted to one night of theater, as has been done the past four years, the program has been extended, offering more choices and performances. The program also now operates with a new enter-to-win model, where patrons have two weeks, between Sept. 9–23, to peruse participating theater performances that are scheduled the month of October, then pick their top five choices and submit to win pairs of tickets in a random drawing.

Theater companies interested in participating in Free Night of Theater are invited to contact Jason Bowcutt, performing arts coordinator for the Utah Division of Arts & Museums, jbowcutt@utah.gov, 801-236-7554.

The following theater companies are participating: Cache Valley Center for the Arts, Empress Theatre, Grand Theatre, Plan-B Theatre Company, Pygmalion Theatre Company, Salt Lake Acting Company, Tuacahn Center for the Arts and the Utah Shakespeare Festival.

To enter to win tickets, visit FreeNight.NowPlayingUtah.com between Sept. 9–23 and click on the Free Night of Theater logo. Winners will be notified by email on Sept. 28.

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The Q Business Alliance is open to all gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and ally business owners to join us for networking, socializing, community organizing and charitable contributions to Utah’s LGBT community. Corporations, small businesses, sole proprietors and independent agents are welcome to join, regardless of sexual orientation.

T H E

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Swag Bags Place marketing materials or samples in highly-sought “swag” bags or at tables at large community events through the year More We will be announcing more opportunities for members as the Alliance grows

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28 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

PHOTO: Jeremy Cowart

ISSUE 189

QSALTLAKE

The Gospel According to Kristin Chenoweth Singer talks country music, queers and Christians

By Chris Azzopardi

O

ne of the most happy-go-lucky ladies in showbiz, Kristin Chenoweth, doesn’t get miffed easily. But when she does, she does. And last year she did, after Newsweek published a commentary on the inability of gay actors to play straight roles. It upset the 43-year-old actress/singer so much she wrote an extensive letter to the magazine, calling the article “horrendously homophobic,” which was published shortly after the debacle, and of which she spoke about during this interview.

Chenoweth’s allegiance to the gay community goes way back to being a child and growing up in the South — a place she returned to for her latest album, Some Lessons Learned, her first of four to fully embrace her country roots. But her success hasn’t been confined to just the music business; Chenoweth broke out on Broadway, where she originated the role of Glinda in Wicked and most recently starred alongside Will & Grace star Sean Hayes in Promises, Promises. There’s also been a book (2009’s A Little Bit Wicked: Life, Love and Faith in Stages), and several TV spots: Pushing Daisies, Glee and, coming soon to ABC, Good Christian Belles.

So we had a lot to talk about when I recently caught up with Chenoweth, who was on a break from shooting her upcoming sitcom. During it, she discussed her history of dating gay men, her opinion on Michele Bachmann’s support of gay conversion clinics and being a little bit wicked.

I can’t get over your character’s last name on Good Christian Belles: Cockburn. Carlene Cockburn. (Laughs) You can’t?! I can’t wait for my family to hear that one.

I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s thought this. Oh no. Are you kidding? I was like, “Wait a minute!” But I just think the most important thing for me as an actress, because of the lines that come out of my mouth, is just to have to speak them and keep going, because they’re so funny and her name is so funny and the whole thing is just so great. I love it.

Does your character have anything in common with April Rhodes, who you play on Glee? (Laughs) Probably not on paper, but they’re both pretty outlandish people. Carlene, though, is the antithesis of April.

Speaking of April, when do you think we’ll see her on Glee again, considering the ban on guest stars for the third season of the show? I don’t know! Nobody’s mentioning it, so I’m hoping it happens. I certainly love her. She’s so fun to play.

You grew up in Oklahoma, so country music is your roots. How is this album a reflection of that? It’s so funny, because I get asked, “Why a country album now?” But that’s how it all began for me — and, of course, why would anyone know that? It’s not something I’ve been talking about a lot, but it’s the music I grew up listening to. One of my biggest influences is Dolly Parton, and when you look at the history of songs in musical theater and in country, they’re both usually great storytellers.

I know just how lucky I am to do this kind of music. Getting to go to Nashville and sing music that feels like home to me was a real gift, and one that I don’t take lightly.

“What Would Dolly Do?” reminds me a lot of Dolly herself. I co-wrote that, and the producer Bob Ezrin asked, “Who’s had the biggest influence on you country music-wise?” I said, “Dolly, without question.”

And he said, “How would she approach it? Let’s think: What would Dolly do?” I said, “Bob, why aren’t we writing that song?”

There’s something about her that I feel very attuned to. There’s only one Dolly. I’m not comparing myself, but I’m just saying her spirit and the way she looks at life is pretty similar to mine. And the cover I did of hers (“Change”) is actually a very emotional thing and it reminded me — of course, how could I ever forget? — what an amazing songwriter she is. You know, I didn’t do a lot of covers. I did two covers, one of Carrie (Underwood’s) and one of Dolly’s, and I just love both of them. I love their music, I love their spirit; everything they stand for.

It makes total sense, because, to me, both you and Dolly epitomize happiness. Oh my god, thank you. That’s the biggest compliment you could give me.

It’s true. You are two of the happiest people I know of. So, tell me ... what pisses you off? (Laughs) Oh gosh. I don’t really get mad that often. But I’m not going to lie, when I do there’s a quiet that comes over me that is a little like whoa, and that happens when I don’t feel other people are prepared or doing their job or pulling their weight. I come from a family where my dad came from nothing and worked hard to get where he is, and he said, “Work hard, play hard, Kris,” and I guess that’s kind of been my motto in life. So when I see people squandering opportunities or having a sense of entitlement, that really makes me crazy. Because I don’t understand it. It’s not a world I get.

You’re driving, something that ticks you off about other drivers? You know what, I don’t get road rage! I just don’t. I’m like, “OK, you cut me off, you must need to go somewhere a lot quicker than I do.

Go on then.” And also, I’ve had so many people in my life be affected by car wrecks, and I’ve had a few myself, that I just have realized, “Eh, you know, life’s too short.”

I know one thing that makes you upset, and that’s homophobic people. I don’t like that, you’re right.

Your letter in response to that Newsweek column said it all. Why was it important to address your feelings on that issue? To be honest with you, I wasn’t prepared for what was going to happen. I was on Broadway doing Promises, Promises, and I read the article and I actually thought it was pretty irresponsible. I’m not even talking about whether a person agrees with being gay or not, I’m talking about artistry and gay actors trying to play straight. It just made me mad, because I thought, “Well, I’ve played a prostitute, does that mean I am one? No.”

QSALTLAKE.COM

ISSUE 189

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

I just thought it was a little bit of a bullying thing, and I honestly prayed about it ... no kidding, I prayed about it. I wrote that letter in one fell swoop and I gave it to a good friend of mine to proofread, because the last thing I wanted to do was sound like an idiot, which I can do as well.

So we sent it on and the next thing I know, they printed it.

And by the way, I’m a big fan of the magazine, which is why I was so bummed. But I think that they felt bad and hopefully there’s been some discussion about it and some learning, because that’s what we’re here to do on this earth, to learn our purpose. Well, one of my purposes in this life — since I’m a believer and a Christian — is to help people realize that not every Christian thinks that being gay is a sin.

To reinforce your stance that gay actors can indeed act straight, you made out with your Promises, Promises co-star Sean Hayes at the Tony Awards last year. It might’ve been a little jib. It might’ve been a little one. (Laughs) What was it like to make out with a gay man, and was that your first time making out with one? Well, let’s face it, my high school boyfriend is gay, so I don’t think it’s my first time making out with gay men, and I bet a lot of women don’t even know they’ve done it! And Sean Hayes is just a darn good kisser, what can I say?

Wait, so you dated a gay man in high school? Yeah, and I’m like, “Well, that’s why we were such a great couple!” He didn’t pleasure me in any way but he helped me pick out my prom dress!

Was he one of the first gay people you knew in Oklahoma? Yeah. I want to tell you something I know about myself: When I was in the second

or third grade, I first heard the word “dyke,” and it was in reference to a girl in our school who was very, very tomboy-ish, and I didn’t really understand what the word was, but I knew I didn’t like the way it was said. And for some reason I’ve always been drawn to the person that was alone, and I don’t mean to make me sound like I’m Mother Teresa, because I’m not, but I’ve always been drawn to people who feek left out or different, and maybe it’s because I too felt different and unique. People would not think this of me, because there’s this perception of me that, “Oh, life’s been perfect and things have come so easily.”

But let’s face it, my speaking voice is very interesting. Yes, I was a cheerleader but I also wanted to do all the plays, I was in Renaissance choir, and I too felt a little bit like an outsider.

And sure, some of them were gay and I never did understand ... I guess the word is fear.

God made us all equal. He made me short, he made someone gay, he made someone tall — whatever it is, it’s not a sin. And that’s the way I feel about it. It flies in the face of a lot of what Christians believe, but as I’m finding out there’s a lot of Christian people who think the same as I do. So that’s my deal, and I think we should not be careful of the unknown but rather be accepting and loving of it.

As someone who’s Christian and supports the gay community, how do you feel about the pray-away-the-gay program that Michele Bachmann supports? (Long pause) Um, you know what, you can have your opinion. One of the great things about being in this country is we get to freely say what we believe. I just don’t happen to agree with that. I like the pray part!

(Laughs) Q

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30 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Q doku Q doku

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Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically blank spaces. must contain oneblank of each digit, as must without guessing.

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ISSUE 189

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Australian duo An Horse returns to Salt Lake City

By Seth Bracken

T

he sexy Australian rock duo, An Horse, is kicking off their new tour and will be stopping in Salt Lake City at Kilby Court on Sept. 27 with YYBS and The Linonelle. Singer, songwriter and guitarist Kate Cooper talked with QSaltLake about their plans for the future, what to expect at their show and to give her own personal ‘It Gets Better’ speech to Utah.

Thank you for chatting with me. We’re so excited to see you! You’ve been to Utah before. What do you remember about your stop? Good coffee. There’s one good coffee shop that we hit up. I don’t think it’s particularly a cool place, but it has elite coffee. And well, Utah is beautiful. The kids are crazy.

They party so hard. Not what we were necessarily expecting. But I think it’s awesome that they feel comfortable to do that. They obviously don’t feel inhibited and ashamed, like you might see in a larger, more metropolitan city where it might be uncool to freak out.

What can fans expect to see at an An Horse show? We’ve put a lot of time into developing a nice set that covers two albums and older songs that we haven’t played yet. We’ll play some B-side tracks and I’m not even sure if they’ve been released in the U.S. yet, actually. We’ll be playing from Walls and Rearrange Beds.

What are some of the challenges of being a duo band? I don’t know. It’s kind of like being in any kind of band. There’s really nothing different about being in a two-piece. It’s slightly more challenging because there’s just the two of us. But, really, that’s what keeps it interesting. It really keeps us on our toes. I’d recommend it to everyone.

Who would you say are some of your biggest influences? A lot of my friends are my influences. And a lot of people we’ve toured with; anyone from Death Cab For Cutie to Tegan and Sara, and Kevin Devine. And then, of course, all the stuff I listened to while growing up. You know, Neil Young, Kylie Minogue and about a million others. I have a very eclectic taste in music. I would get bored if I didn’t. I think any music that’s not extreme rubbish, and that’s honest, has merit.

You just got off of a tour with Tegan and Sara, and I have to ask, what was it like touring with them? Fun. Very fun. We are just very good friends. And it was like going on tour with your best friends. It was so much fun and easy to do.

Do you have any advice for young queer teens living in Utah? I really do. I would just tell them to be themselves and not worry.

Don’t worry so much. Be yourself. You don’t have to justify yourself to anyone. And if you are having problems, remember that it’s going to get better and it will be over soon. Just know that you can get out and go somewhere where they’ll accept you.

I grew up in a very boring beach-side town.

When I get back there, my friends and I, queer and straight, always wonder how we survived.

I run into people I went to school with and they’ve got three kids, which is awesome, but holy shit. I mean, more power to them, but holy shit!

What’s in the future for An Horse? We haven’t thought too far ahead. After we finish this tour, we’re going to go home to Australia and do a bunch of shows. I am really excited because I’ll get to see my family. But we’ll just keep playing our music. Q

QSALTLAKE.COM

ISSUE 189

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

FOOD & DRINK

31

cocktail chatter Oooola-la: A proper gimlet

T

By Ed Sikov

he vision that greeted me as I walked into the beach house was Fellini-esque. Craig wasn’t expecting an audience to the indescribable show he was putting on — for himself, he assumed — with his back turned away from the front door. Wrapped in a boldly floral sari-toga get-up (which turned out to be a queen-size sheet) draped and folded carefully, but with odd ripples here and there, and not nearly enough material around his left butt cheek.

He was peeling potatoes into the sink while swinging his immense hips around as though he was one of the heftier hula girls at some low-grade Honolulu luau. And he was singing at the top of his lungs: “I’m GaGa! You’re ca-ca!

Oooo-la-la!

Ha-va-na!

Ra-na-na!

Vay nishma Ha ha ha!”

I couldn’t suppress a loud bark of a laugh, which caused Craig to scream in startled terror.

“You’re brilliant, you know that?” I said, giggling.

“You could have killed me,” Craig heaved, clutching his chest and breathing hard.

“Ohmygod (gasp) I had (gasp) no idea (heave) you were there. Now I know what — ohmygod (gasp) — ‘scared to death’ means.” He leaned back against the counter and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. The sari-togasheet fell to his ankles.

It was with surprise and fascination that I noticed what an immense penis Craig has. I’d seen it before, of course; an outdoor shower placed just outside the kitchen window harbors no secrets. But somehow this new upclose-and-personal view was a shock. Unlike many chubby men, whose meat disappears in folds of fat, Craig was remarkably well hung in all sense of the expression. His pelvis was

set in such a way that his dick thrust forward naturally, and it was itself surprisingly long and thick. I thought to myself, “That Kyle business makes a lot more sense.”

“Child,” Craig drawled, “have you never seen one before?”

I felt myself blush. “Sorry, it was just that I… I….”

“I am rather proud of it,” he said, pulling his sheet around his waist and slinging the excess over his forearm. “Kyle certainly appreciated….” He suddenly stopped talking, and his whole demeanor changed — his shoulders slumped, and a moment later he was in tears.

“Let’s talk old friend,” I said, wrapping my arms around him. He nestled his wet face in the crook of my neck, and we stood there motionless for at least a minute before he was ready to move apart. We spent the rest of the afternoon talking, just the two of us, about Kyle, their relationship, Craig’s regrets, Kyle’s callowness, my crazed jealousy. We started off with iced tea, but around 4:00 we decided that it was cocktail hour. Inspired by the message and recipe I recently received from “Joey from Denver,” I made us gimlets, but proper ones: Rose’s sweetened lime juice and Beefeater gin in the correct proportions, and no funky brown ice. We both knew that this was not the time to get plastered. It was, instead, a time to reconnect over leisurely drinks as the best friends we’d been for so many years. It was profoundly comforting — so comforting that we forgot about making dinner entirely. So we all went out for pizza.

A Proper Gimlet 4 tbsp. Beefeater gin 1 tbsp. Rose’s lime juice Gimlets offer a choice: either pour both ingredients over ice in a old fashioned-size glass and stir, or pour them into an ice-filled cocktail shaker, shake and strain into chilled martini glasses. Q

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SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

32 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Rose Parade Across 1 Julius Caesar’s first name 6 Roth offerings 10 Moist mounds 14 Become a parent nonheterosexually 15 2008 biopic about Harvey 16 Hint to the future 17 She played Rose on The Golden Girls 19 ___-tat 20 Actor Morales 21 Butch’s towel word 22 Booty grabber 24 Worker on Broadway 26 Fruitful 27 Bea of The Golden Girls 30 Cookies unit 31 Historic Stonewall disturbances 32 Sills’ solo 33 Nick Adams’ Johnny 37 Be in a cast 38 Getty of The Golden Girls 41 Heather ___ Two Mommies 42 Sucker or suckee?

44 Takes advantage of 45 Leave home 47 Bounded along

49 Character played by 38-Across 50 Many a place near Aspen 53 Sit for Mapplethorpe 54 Hollywood Bros.

55 Provide assistance 56 “Darn!”

60 Crude cartel 61 Rue of The Golden Girls 64 Seek a sorority 65 Words of woe 66 Funny Cheri 67 Novel conclusion 68 Have an opening for 69 Offer an apple to Adam and Steve?

Down 1 Kotter portrayer Kaplan 2 Fruity drinks 3 Sappho’s “I” 4 On pins and needles 5 Place for porking?

6 “Like, no problem, man” 7 Park of Queens 8 Model Carol 9 Like a pirate insignia 10 Character played by 27-Across 11 Place for a G-string 12 South Pacific nuts 13 Kind of drum 18 Spin like a top

23 Lord of the Rings extra 25 Trojan Horse, e.g.

26 Blows it 27 Spirited horse 28 Anticrime acronym 29 Canine from Kansas 30 Go straight?

32 Cruising, maybe 34 “Look out ...”

35 Spot for gay honeymoons 36 Early movie dog 39 Dean Cain role 40 Some actors have big ones 43 Character played by 61-Across 46 Emulate Dr. Kildare 48 Vein filler 49 Scotch partner 50 Used inelegant language 51 On the fritz 52 Legal conclusion beginning 53 Accumulated, like Gomer?

55 Top 57 “Excuse me!”

58 Waterproof cover 59 Prissy hissy 62 Evita narrator 63 “Just kidding!”

PUZZLE SOLUTIONS ARE ON PAGE 35

anagram An anagram is a word or phrase that can be made using the letters from another word or phrase. Rearrange the letters below to answer:

name the local bar owner who celebrates his 69th b-day sept. 18

big weenie ram gel ____

“_ _ _ _ _ ”

______

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QSALTLAKE

QSALTLAKE.COM

ISSUE 189

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

she culture Fall fashion frenzy

By Annalisa Millo

F

all fashion is just around the corner and many of us are anxiously anticipating the approaching jacket weather. It’s that time of year when suddenly the style possibilities multiply with the appropriate weather, and there’s no longer an excuse to wear shorts and a T-shirt every day to prevent spontaneous summertime combustion.

There’s a local designer, Danny Nappi, who is heavily involved in the fashion community.

He has joined forces with most of the other designers in Salt Lake City for numerous fashion shows, and has owned and operated Nappi Clothing and Offside Apparel since 2005. He designs and develops clothing, runs a screenprinting company, and is currently proudly growing a nice, fuzzy beard.

His work was featured at this year’s Couture In Motion fashion show, and will be featured in the upcoming Fashion Night Out and the Art Meets Fashion events as well.

To our delight, Mr. Nappi was happy to share his fashion expertise with us.

QSaltLake: What do you consider good fashion/style?

Danny Nappi: Whatever makes you feel confident. What I mean by that is, it doesn’t matter what you wear, as long as you wear it confidently then you’ll ‘pull it off,’ as they say. People tell me that I can pull off anything, and that just means that you wear it with so much confidence that you rock it. You can tell if somebody’s not comfortable in what they’re wearing because they’re very sheepish, and so then it’s like, oh, that person totally blew it. But if you do it with confidence, then you can wear anything. And that’s what style is, it’s your own personal “style,” and if you don’t have style and you just don’t know, then it’s sometimes obvious that you have no idea what you’re doing.

QSL: But it’s no particular external element that you would consider “good style?”

DN: Yeah, I don’t think so, and because it’s always moving and such a dynamic thing, there’s no one to say that you’re in style right now, because it may have just changed. So, it’s all just personal preference.

QSL: What is your impression of the queer female community and their fashion sense in Salt Lake City, and the rest of the country?

DN: I have noticed this aspect with girls and some guys — that they don’t dress for their body type, and so they’re not flattering themselves because they just tend to wear boxy, baggy, bigger clothes to kind of hide it. And maybe that’s because they want to try to hide the feminine attributes of their body, I don’t know what the reason is. But either way, I think if you feel more comfortable in genderneutral clothing, that’s fine, but you should still dress so it makes you look beautiful.

QSL: I’m a huge fan of GQ, by the way, so I don’t know if you’ve heard about this, but they ranked the top 40 worst dressed cities in America. Jersey Shore was number 19, Provo was number 15, and Salt Lake City was the eighth worst dressed city in the country.

To quote that article: “Deep in the heart of socks-with-sandals country, Salt Lakers still look psyched to serve as “ambassadors” for the 2002 Winter Games. It’s an understated look: promotional fleece vest, active-wear turtleneck, ill-fitting generic jeans, plaster-ofParis-grin concealing a lifetime of repression.”

—Robert Fischer What do you think of that?

DN: Unfortunately, it’s pretty accurate.

People in Utah don’t see a need to be fashionable. Of course there is that huge subculture of well-dressed and fashion-forward thinking people, but as a whole it is very Designer Danny Nappi socks and sandals and turtlenecks. I’ve been trying to kill the turtleneck for years.

QSL: Do you think that’s because of the huge LDS influence and/or the outdoorsy community influence?

DN: I think it’s the combination of a lot of factors that play into it. It’s the Mormon “be conservative and modest,” and then you have the outdoors aspect. Provo should’ve been higher than Salt Lake, they still have the braided belts.

But I guess here [there are] people still wearing Affliction, which kills me. At their coolest point in their life, that’s how they dress for the rest of their life. If they were cool in high school they’ll always dress like they were in high school.

QSL: There’s this weird conundrum that happens in Utah, that just because you’re supposed to dress modestly in LDS culture, then why does that necessarily mean that you have to dress very plainly and blandly? And it’s only in Utah where this happens, you go out of state, and all these LDS people out of state have a better sense of fashion.

DN: I think part of the problem, too, is look what options we have here — Forever 21? We don’t have anything cool and hip and cutting-edge.

And again the Mormon culture doesn’t like to spend a lot of money, so they just don’t support those kinds of stores.

QSL: So what would you like to see in terms of the fashion evolution in SLC?

NIGHTLIFE

DN: I would like to see more attention to the fit of the clothing, and dressing for the body type to accentuate the positives and conceal the negatives. And I’d like to see less trendy, and more unique style, more of taking chances, fewer brands, and just more individual style as opposed to what a magazine tells you is cool.

QSL: What indications in the future would signify to you that SLC is evolving, or has evolved in a fashion sense?

DN: I think with this mall that they’re putting in, we’re going to get a lot of really high-end brands that are going to help and give people the opportunity to see more of that, and at least get more creative with what they wear. And the

33

fact that Nappi Clothing has been around for six years, and that it works, people are accepting of new brands and so that’s good, but I really think it’s a problem of there’s just not enough of it out there and people aren’t exposed to it enough here, and so as they get more exposed and as they see more things I think they’ll grab onto it and go with it.

Moral of the story: go ahead an embrace your taste to gender bend or femme it up. Just put some thought into it, and don’t be sloppy. Mix up your style and try new things because fall is the season for Fashion Week around the world and the liberty to layer to your clothing to your heart’s content. ’Tis indeed the season for endless possibilities. Q

Utah lawmakers crackdown on beer, hookah After making a move toward normalizing Utah liquor laws in 2009, the Utah Legislature and the Utah Department of Health are cracking down on beer, liquor and hookah.

A multifaceted liquor-law reform bill, passed last session in the Utah Legislature, not only brought back the Zion curtain that separates diners from restaurant bars, it also imposes the same restriction on beer-only restaurants. This change means that servers at new restaurants that serve only beer are not allowed to remove the cap of a beer in view of customers. The restaurants must install partitions or build backrooms to store the beer that can only be 3.2 percent alcohol content by weight.

Stronger beers are still not allowed. The new law also requires patrons to order food with beer.

The new law is already affecting business expansion, and Eric Slaymaker, president and founder of Wingers, which has 23 locations in Utah, said the new law is harming business and will affect his ability to open new restaurants in the state.

“The legislature says it is business-friendly, but I have a hard time believing that,” Slaymaker

told the Salt Lake Tribune. “Utah had made some great strides in becoming part of the real world, but now we’re making strides to let the world know they aren’t welcome here again.”

Another recent crackdown on bars will require hookah smoking to follow the same restrictions as cigarette and cigar smoke. The interpretation of the law, until recently, was that hookah could be smoked inside a public building, such as a bar. This led to the opening and expansion of hookah-exclusive bars. However, the Utah Department of Health began imposing the restriction on bars, Sept. 12.

Nat Porter, owner of the Hukah Bar & Grill in Murray, appealed to grandfather-in existing bars so he would not have to shut down operation, but his request was denied.

Smoking hookah is less harmful than cigarette smoke and there are no studies that show potential dangers from secondhand smoke, Porter said in a statement.

“The only reason personal freedom should be limited is if a person’s choice is causing harm to others,” Porter said. “All of the opinions about the potential harm of hookah secondhand smoke are inferred from studies on cigarette secondhand smoke.”

cryptogram A cryptogram is a puzzle where one letter in the puzzle is substituted with another. For example: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! Has the solution: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING

AND FUN! In the above example Es are all replaced by Cs. The puzzle is solved by recognizing letter patterns in words and successively substituting letters until the solution is reached.

This week’s hint: Z = D, Theme: Comment on ABC’s online message board about Chaz Bono being on Dancing With The Stars.

Yj/dyj nfv xomj yqujmje yj/dyj uqlxz xotj iq xomj, wli zq uj vjjz iq bxflvi oi bqe efiovcd?

__/___ ___ ____ _______ __/___ _____

____

__

____,

___

__

__

____ __ ______ __ ___ _______?

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

34 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

español exprés Skinny jeans and pink shirts

by Gus Herrero

W

e love to dress well. Let’s face it — we all love to show off our goods, and if we don’t have those “goods,” we make them up. Who can raise their hand and say, “I am not into fashion?” No one, I believe. We all care — or at least we should.

Last weekend I promised myself that I was going to stay home and do homework and just take it easy. Despite my determination, I ended up spending most of my time shopping for clothes.

I mean, seriously! I didn’t have any intention to do so. Maybe it was because I saw the movie, Confessions of a Shopaholic and it kind of got me going. (Great movie, by the way.) Or maybe it was simply time to renew the wardrobe because I got a new job. I think I just came up with that excuse.

I needed to buy something. At least this little tiny thing would make me feel in power. I called up my guuuuuurlfriend and she was willing to help me out. After wandering many hours at the mall, we walked into a store that advertised “skinny jeans” for guys. OK, so I am not an

expert on fashion and I don’t pretend to be one.

But we all know what fits us and what doesn’t.

Let’s start from the beginning, you guys will never see me wearing skinny jeans. I am sorry, even though I could fit into them, skinny jeans are just too girly for my taste. I don’t pretend to judge anyone ... wait, oh what the hell, I will anyway. At the store I saw this guy, probably in his 40s and 190 pounds, trying to fit into skinny jeans. Seriously?! What happened to wearing clothing according to our age and body? A 40-year-old with skinny jeans is a big NO-NO. Guys, please don’t pretend to be someone you are not.

I believe that buying clothes can make us feel happy. The most important thing to remember is that the clothes we buy are just an accessory. We must feel happy with who we are and buy things that fit us well.

Now, if you can own it, rock it. If not, well, buy something else that makes you feel great, happy and comfortable. One thing I learned this weekend (besides that skinny jeans are not for me and that I can’t pull of a pink shirt) is that we own the clothes, not vice versa.

Skinny Jeans y camisas rosadas

by Gus Herrero

A

todos nos gusta vestirnos bien — a todos nos gusta mostrar nuestros atributos y si no tenemos estos atributos nos los inventamos. Y quien diga lo contrario que tire la primera piedra. ¿Quien puede levantar el brazo y decir que no esta interesado en moda? Nadie, por que al fin y al cabo a todos nos interesa lucir bien.

La semana pasada me prometí a mi mismo que me iba a quedar en casa y enfocarme en las tareas de la Universidad. A pesar de mi determinación premeditada, me encontré gastando mi tiempo comprando ropa y demás frívolos accesorios. Tal vez fue por que vi una vez mas la pelicula Confessions of a Shopaholic que por cierto me puso en el humor de comprar. O tal vez por que simplemente tenia que renovar el armario debido a un Nuevo trabajo. Creo que estoy imaginándome excusas, quería comprarme algo.

Necesitaba comprarme algo, aunque sea esa pequeña cosa que me hiciera sentir en control.

Llame a una amiga y ella como siempre estaba lista para ayudarme en mis momentos de necesidad.

Luego de caminar por muchas horas en el centro comercial, entramos en una tienda donde

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QSALTLAKE

se vendían “skinny jeans.” No soy un experto en lo que se relaciona a moda ni pretendo serlo, pero todos sabemos que nos puede quedar bien y que no.

Empecemos por el principio, chicos ustedes nunca me verán usando skinny jeans. Lo siento pero a pesar de que puedo entrar en uno de esos jeans, los encuentro demasiado femeninos. No pretendo juzgar a nadie … esperen…. ¡Oh que diablos! Lo hare igual. En la tienda vi a este tipo, probablemente en sus 40 y unas 190 libras, probándose unos de estos mencionados jeans. ¿En serio? ¿Digo en serio? ¿Que paso con lo de usar ropa de acuerdo con nuestra y fisonomía? ¿Skinny jeans a tus 40? no no lo creo. Por favor no pretendamos ser alguien que no somos.

Creo firmemente que el hecho de comprar ropa nos trae felicidad, si pasajera lo se, pero lo felicidad mas importante es sentirnos bien y siempre tener en mente que la ropa que llevamos es solo un accesorio mas. Debemos de sentirnos bien con nosotros mismos y como nos presentamos.

Ahora, si te queda bien, pues excelente , y si no, pues bueno, siempre hay mas opciones, compremos algo que nos haga lucir y sentir bien. Una cosa que aprendí esta semana es ( bueno aparte de que los skinny jeans no son para mi o las camisetas rosas) es que nosotros somos dueños de la ropa y no viceversa.

PINK PIG

QSALTLAKE.COM

ISSUE 189

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

35

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Moab, Utah

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

36 NIGHTLIFE

Q scopes

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QSALTLAKE

new look where nobody–except perhaps a friend you can really trust–has to see it, just so you can be satisfied that it is indeed wrong for you.

You can relax, Leo

By Jack Fertig

Mars entering Leo inflates energy and egos, and trine to Uranus in Aries, will lead to unexpected results. Stubborn assertion will lead to wacky disasters. Be bold, but adaptive and humble for best results.

e

ARIES (March 20–April 19) You want to have fun, but work demands your time and energy. Getting boisterous only upsets things and exposes resentments. It doesn’t matter if they’re jealous of your brilliance. You have to get along! Focus your energies productively.

r

TAURUS (April 20–May 20) Be as productive as possible while your discipline and drive are especially sharp. Worries about the future and preoccupation with details are distractions. Just stay the course; keep putting one foot in front of the other.

t

GEMINI (May 21- June 20) It is the social season and you’re going to be in greater demand soon. Fix up your home now so it will be ready for company then. Friends’ one-upmanship throw you off your game. Maybe you should throw those “friends.”

o

LIBRA (September 23–October 22) Recent domestic victories can make you cocky. Better to offer an olive branch and build reconciliation. Be mature and take the long view. You can afford to be big. Don’t dread the cake with all those candles. Focus on accomplishments and goals.

p

SCORPIO (October 23–November 21) You can count on your friends to help you get ahead, but who are your friends really? Keep your eyes open to colleagues who might double-cross you. Don’t worry A rude surprise can prove a blessing in disguise.

[

SAGITTARIUS (November 22–Dec 20) It takes teamwork to get anything accomplished, so be very attentive to friends and colleagues who can make or break your efforts. They’re inclined to support you, but they want the credit they deserve, and generally deserve the credit they want.

]

CAPRICORN (December 21–January 19) Focus on your career and getting ahead. Recent struggles are over and you can focus on your goals with little interference. The boss is about to take notice and is likely to be very supportive. Just let your work speak for itself.

q

y

AQUARIUS (January 20–February 18) Connect with older, well-educated people. Don’t be shy. You could learn a lot and get a clearer idea of your direction in life.

You can’t help but to say the wrong thing to your partner, but it should work out for the better.

u

PISCES (February 19–March 19) Even sweet, affable chatter can get annoying and silence can arouse suspicions. Staying between the extremes is often your biggest challenge. Lean to the quiet side. Letting them wonder will arouse more interest in you.

CANCER (June 21- July 22) Social opportunities abound. You may expect to be happier at home with just a few of your dearest and nearest, and some of your favorite recipes, but get out and develop connections. They’ll serve you well!

LEO (July 23–August 22) Your state of mind is likely to change more than your finances, but yes, you can relax! Or can you? Your energy is cranking up and could lead you into interesting adventures. Look for new ideas and experiences, not arguments!

i

VIRGO (August 23–September 22) Self-consciousness can lead you to fashion disasters. Play around with a

puzzle solutions Anagram: Gene “Wilma” Gieber

w

Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977, is available for personal and business consultations.

He can be reached at 415-864-8302, through his website at starjack.com, and by email at QScopes@ qsaltlake.com.

Cryptogram: He/she can live however he/ she would like to live, but do we need to flaunt it for ratings?

7 9 8 3 4 5 1 6 2

5 1 2 7 9 6 4 8 3

3 7 4 2 1 9 5 6 8

9 2 5 3 8 6 1 7 4

6 4 3 2 1 8 7 5 9 8 1 6 5 4 7 9 2 3

2 8 1 9 5 4 6 3 7 5 6 1 8 9 3 2 4 7

4 7 5 6 3 2 8 9 1 4 3 8 1 7 2 6 9 5

9 3 6 8 7 1 2 4 5 7 9 2 4 6 5 3 8 1

2 8 7 6 5 1 4 3 9 1 6 2 8 5 7 1 6 9 3 2 4

1 4 3 9 2 8 7 5 6 9 8 3 1 2 4 5 8 3 9 7 6

6 5 9 7 3 4 8 1 2 5 4 7 3 6 9 4 2 7 5 1 8

3 8 4 6 7 9 2 1 5

6 9 7 2 5 1 4 3 8

1 2 5 4 3 8 7 9 6

5 9 8 1 4 7 2 6 3 7 9 4 5 8 1 6 4 7 9 3 2

2 7 3 8 6 5 9 4 1 8 2 5 6 7 3 9 1 2 5 4 8

1 4 6 3 2 9 5 7 8 3 1 6 9 4 2 8 5 3 7 6 1

4 2 5 7 6 8 3 1 9 9 5 7 2 1 3 6 8 4

7 9 8 1 3 5 6 2 4 6 8 1 5 7 4 3 9 2

1 3 6 4 2 9 8 7 5 3 2 4 6 9 8 1 5 7

3 1 4 5 9 6 2 8 7 4 1 5 7 3 6 8 2 9

8 6 9 2 7 1 4 5 3 7 6 2 9 8 1 4 3 5

2 5 7 3 8 4 1 9 6 8 3 9 4 5 2 7 1 6

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Final weekend Sept. 17-18

After the bar, the party continues next door at

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SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

38 NIGHTLIFE

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QSALTLAKE

the perils of petunia pap smear The tale of death-defying Bingo

KISSING ALLOWED Fri & Sat, Sept 23-24

T

End of Summer Absolut Party Starting at 7pm Sundays

Bar-b-que, 4pm

Fridays

Dart Tournament 7pm

Friday & Saturday DJ Dennis with Music videos

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1458 S Main St, SLC www.dogsrusslc.com

Dress your pet up, bring a potluck dish and celebrate an

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(Benefiting Rocky Mountain Great Dane Rescue Inc, Perfect Pointers and Utah Friends of Bassett Hound)

By Petunia Pap Smear

he road to Third Friday Bingo is fraught with danger and excitement.

The majority of people believe that a queen’s life is nothing but glitz, glamor and luxuriousness. Actually, we put our lives at great risk every time we put on heels. To quote the immortal words of Bilbo Baggins, “It’s a dangerous business, going out of your door.

You step into the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there is no telling where you might be swept off to.”

Many people ask me just how long it takes to get dressed to go out. Once I have worked out the electrical and structural engineering aspects of the ensemble, taking into account the tensile strength of the spandex girdle restraining my gifted circumferential self, the final assembly usually takes less than one hour. There are many factors to consider.

First I have to check the weather report very carefully and take into account the wind velocity of the day. In a stiffer wind, I must choose smaller propellers for my breasticles, lest I take flight unexpectedly.

I certainly don’t want a recurrence of that damned Roswell, New Mexico incident. There I was, minding my own business, window shopping for jewelry at the hardware store, when a sudden gust of wind arose and “whoosh” before I knew it my propellers spun out of control, my cape caught the breeze like a sail and I was airborne. Well of course my sequins and glitter caused interference with the radar, and since I had not filed a flight plan with the FFA, I was declared a UFO. When I finally came back down to Earth, they locked me away in Area 51. J. Edgar Hoover kept me prisoner there for years, mercilessly pumping me for fashion tips until he finally passed away. I understand that they based the stealth bomber’s invisible to radar design on my outfit.

But back to the story, just attending Third Friday Bingo with Ruby Ridge and the Matrons of Mayhem is dangerous. For instance, last month, I neglected to take into account the altitude of the beehive hairdo, and forgot to duck when passing through a doorway. The resulting collision left the beehive ‘do askew, thereby resembling a Leaning Tower of Aqua Net. It was so off balance that the whole wig finally fell off my head while I was in front of the audience.

Oh, the shame of it all, for the audience to see up close and personal, that it is not my natural hair. The magic is gone! I had to retreat to the dressing room, and give the stuffing of the wig a rigorous fisting to get it to retain its shape. Some skills are universally handy!

Most of the time my crinoline skirts are so puffy that I cannot even begin to see my feet, and moving in and around objects can be challenging in the best of circumstances. I feel that I need to wear one of those warning beepers when I am moving. On one particular

incident, I could not see the stairs as usual, and while attempting to negotiate a graceful decent worthy of Scarlet O’Hara, my high-heel ruby slipper missed the top step and, “Thar she blows!” With all my might, and what little balance I could muster, I wracked to-and-fro trying not to fall down and let the first row discover whether I wear panties or go commando under the crinolines (a true lady never tells). The table full of hunky bears sitting nearby, watched the unfolding catastrophe in frozen horror, while just barely missing being crushed to death.

At this point in the story, let me pause and issue an invitation for one or more scantily clad hunky studs to volunteer to be our “Stair Master.” He could help us up and down the stairs, and then just sit and look pretty the rest of the time. Any interested hunks please send a message accompanied by a photo, to my Facebook page.

You can tell who in the audience was deprived of breast-feeding as a child. They are mesmerized by my blinking and spinning breasts. Mostly adult women are very aggressive in wanting to touch my breasticles, and give me a cheap and easy twirl. Many rush right in and take a nose dive deep into my cleavage before I can even shout a warning of, “You’ll poke your eyes out” on the propeller blades.

In August, it was so hot during Bingo that I perspired so much as to short out the electrical lights on my left breasticle. For an instant, the resulting shock to my nipple caused me to think that I was back at BYU having electroshock therapy again. (Oh, you always remember the good times…) I felt as though I could have jumpstarted a car. Now that’s a special talent!

An outdoor public event such as Pride Day brings its own special complications. I don’t allow myself to drink anything, because there is no way in hell that I can fit my two-foot tall hair, twin-rotor breasticles and a five-foot diameter crinoline skirt into a port-a-potty and not emerge without pee and poop in places that are best left unmentioned unless you are into yellow and brown hankies.

Like always these events leave us with several eternal questions: 1. Is fisting a wig something that should be taught to all hairdressers?

2. Until the wig fell off, was it really true that only my hairdresser knew for sure?

3. Had the bears been crushed to death, would their tombstones read “crushed by a Petunia?”

4 Will they ever design a drag queen sized porta-potty?

5. Is being able to jump-start a car from my boobs a marketable skill?

These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of: The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

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ISSUE 189

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

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