QSaltLake Magazine - 287 - Nov. 1, 2018

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NOVEMBER 1, 2018 VOL. 15 • ISSUE 287 QSALTLAKE.COM

Transgender Utahns work for visibility, equality

PHOTO: DAVID DANIELS

UTAH TRANS RALLY • SEXUAL ASSAULT AMONG HIGH SCHOOL BOYS • LGBTQ STUDENT SCHOLARSHIP

inside Local, national rallies Transgender Awareness National and World news Project Rainbow honors Page 26 briefs Page 10 TDOR Page 12 against trans plan Page 10 Month

From the Publisher . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 National and World News. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 Local News. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 Views. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Transgender Awareness. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24 Tony’s Gay Agenda . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 Theater. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40 Dining Guide. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35

Arts & Entertainment

Page 38

Comics and Puzzles. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Marketplace. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Real Estate. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Qmmunity Groups . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Positive Thoughts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Pet of the Month. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The Frivolost. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. . . . . . . . . .

44 46 49 50 51 52 54 56

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NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 3

4 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FIRST WORD

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from the publisher

Seasons of change

BY MICHAEL AARON

Well, it’s

5 p.m. the day we go live. You know, the day we are supposed to have all pages ready? Well, no one has yelled at me yet, so I guess we are OK. So, now to the other changes happening around us. This weekend was in the 70s and next week it’s supposed to dip to 29 degrees. The leaves on my Virginia Creeper have already gone red, then brown, and are in the process of filling my pond.

Yes, Mother Nature has now presented fall.

I love summer. I live in Utah largely because of the summer, simply existing through winter as I wait for summer to return.

I hate when summer begins to fade. It’s like being on vacation and realizing it’s only a day or so before you have to go back home.

It means it’s gonna start getting cold.

No more camping. No more outdoor festivals. No more tooling around in Utah’s mountains and deserts. No more lying around on a Sunday morning, naked on the deck with a cup of coffee and the newspaper.

But sometimes change is good.

Like the change to bi-weekly at QSaltLake. While we are still adjusting back to our routine of producing a magazine every two weeks, the enthusiasm to make it happen is great. The reaction from people I’ve talked to has been encouraging, and advertisers are starting to get our print/online concept.

So, I look forward to the next several months — the next season — of this magazine’s life. I’ll get to see what we can do.

And, it’s time to pull out the long-sleeve shirts, the cute sweaters, and the layered look. It’s time to drive through the canyons to see the leaves change color. It’s time to abandon the outdoor projects that never had a prayer of being finished and to work on the indoor projects that don’t have a prayer of being finished.

It’s time to see the new arts season and rehearse for the winter concert with the Salt Lake Men’s Choir. It’s time to dust out the fireplace for those “stay at home and cuddle with a movie” nights.

Sunday mornings? There’s always the hot tub.

I love fall. Q

Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

Dine with Pride

November 1, 2018 |

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®

Show your pride at restaurants everywhere with the Discover it Pride card.

APPLY TODAY: DISCOVER.COM/PRIDE ©2018 Discover Bank, Member FDIC

6 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | STAFF

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Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

staffbox “I found our plumber on qpages.com.

We’re staying”

publisher/editor Michael Aaron ASSISTANT & ARTS editor Tony Hobday designer Christian Allred Local Advertising sales

Ken Stowe, 801-997-9763 x1 sales@qsaltlake.com NATIonal Advertising sales

Diversitas Media, 888-248-1194 Rivendell Media, 212-242-6863 contributors Joshua Adamson Pickett, Diane

Anderson-Minshall, Chris Azzopardi, Matthew S. Bajko, Paul Berge, Jeff Berry, Graham Brunk, Paul Campbell, Laurie Bennett-Cook, Mikki Enoch, Jack Fertig, Greg Fox, Charles Lynn Frost, Oriol Gutierrez Jr., Ryan Haymore, Tony Hobday, Ashley Hoyle, Joshua Jones, Christopher Katis, Cynthia Laird, Rock Magen, Sam Mills, Mikey Rox, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Gregg Shapiro, Petunia Pap Smear, Steven Petrow, Ed Sikov, JoSelle Vanderhooft, Ben ­Williams, D’Anne ­Witkowski distribution Bradley Jay Crookston,

RJ Graham

“I found our real estate agent on qpages.com.

We’re selling”

publisher

Q Media Group 222 S Main St, Ste 500 (by appt. only), Salt Lake City, Utah 84101 tel: 801-997-9763

CONTACT EMAILS: general: info@qsaltlake.com editorial: editor@qsaltlake.com ARTS: arts@qsaltlake.com sales: sales@qsaltlake.com

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QSaltLake Magazine is a trademark of Salt Lick Publishing, LLC., Q Media Group

Copyright © 2018, Salt Lick Publishing, LLC. All rights reserved.

No material may be reprinted or reproduced without written permission from the publisher. 8–15,000 copies are distributed free of charge at over 300 locations across the state and an average of 4,000 are read online at qsaltlake.com/current-q/. Free copies are limited to one per person. For additional copies, call 801997-9763. It is a crime to dispose of current issues or otherwise interfere with the distribution of this magazine. Printed in the USA on recycled paper. Please recycle this copy when done.

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Online and at over 350 locations across the Wasatch Front We also have marriage counselors

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QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 7

OPENS NOV 16

BROADWAY CENTRE CINEMAS

saltlakefilmsociety.org

8 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

news The top national and world news you should know from last month Lambda Legal troubles Lambda Legal, the team which has played a key role in nearly every Supreme Court case advancing gay and lesbian civil rights is in turmoil. A new CEO, Rachel Tiven, was appointed in 2016 and since that time half of the staff left, employee benefits have been cut, and there’s brouhaha over Lambda’s tactics and priorities. A resigning board member says the cases have come to focus on the new director’s priorities, “immigrants, or her own specialty, LGBTQ people caught in the criminal justice system.” There were also complaints that she chooses cases based on their potential to generate media buzz.

Mile-high fantasy hook up A Delta Airlines flight attendant was suspended from his job after a hook-up with adult film performer and $1200-a-session rentboy Austin Wolf. The tryst in the plane’s lavatory was videoed and, of course, uploaded to Twitter.

Wolf refused to comment and it’s not clear who videoed whom in the 24-inch square lavatory. Delta Corp had no sense of humor about the event as the employee, though off duty, was in uniform. Delta said the incident is not reflective of the company, though their ad slogan has been “Fly the friendly skies” and what’s more friendly than a hook-up?

Oops, that slogan was United’s.

Qsaltlake.com |

Kavanaugh effect, gay judge nominee Among a new wave of judicial appointments to the federal bench is Patrick J. Bumatay, an openly gay conservative (how does anyone know that?) federal prosecutor. He was nominated to sit on the San Francisco’s 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals over the objections of California Senators Feinstein and Harris, who called it an attempt to “pack the court.”

The Log Cabin Republicans are thrilled, with president Gregory Angelo telling the Washington Blade, “The historic nature of his nomination as an openly gay man adds an additional layer of prestige to what by all counts is an exceptional career in law.”

Out athletes U.S. Olympian Adam Rippon, hailed for his bravery to come out publicly as gay in the obviously straight world of figure skating, says he understands why many sports stars will stay in the closet on National Coming Out Day. “It can be scary because you think maybe you could be judged differently for being an out athlete,” he said.

An expert in homophobia from Canada’s Laval University, Guylaine Demers, claimed, “Almost 80 percent of those surveyed said an openly gay, lesbian or bisexual person would ‘not be very safe’ as a spectator at a sporting event in a 2015 study.”

Rippon somehow believes there is a lack of other out athletes in figure skating, that his coming out meant that he could be a role model for younger figure skaters.

Wilde flight on Norwegian Airline Though he never visited Norway, Norwegian Airlines paid tribute to Oscar Wilde on his birthday by putting a giant picture of him on the tail fin

of a Boeing 737 MAX and a Boeing 787 Dreamliner. Wilde is known for epigrams like, “The only thing I cannot resist is temptation,” would love the fact that he is being honored as part of their “tail fin hero” program. Previously the airline featured a giant picture of Freddie Mercury on a plane.

Library Loony Tunes The Houston Texas Public Library is being sued over a drag queen story-time program. The Library billed the program as a chance to “instill a sense of love and acceptance in our children while encouraging them to be true to themselves.” Similar programs have taken place across the country and abroad without much controversy. However, the group of self-described “Christ followers,” which includes a pastor who is known for opposition to marriage equality, asked a federal judge to put a stop to the event.

Meanwhile, an Orange City, Iowa pastor burned four gayand lesbian-themed books that he said he checked out from the local library: “Two Boys Kissing” by David Levithan, “Morris Micklewhite and the Tangerine Dress” by Christine Baldacchino, “This Day In June” by Gayle E. Pitman, and “Families, Families, Families!”

by Suzanne and Max Lang. The library is taking legal action against Pastor Paul Dorr.

3rd time’s the charm for O’Donnell Passive aggressive insult to People Magazine? Saying she wants to keep the engagement “off the radar” because her fiancée is a police officer and likes to keep “things like this on the low”, Rosie O’Donnell announced in People that she is engaged to her girlfriend, police officer Elizabeth Rooney, after a year of dating.

Rosie reportedly asked Rooney to marry her last summer, but

Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

the two had been keeping the news under wraps. This is O’Donnell’s third marriage and Rooney’s first.

Sheppard papers donated to museum A collection of Matthew Shepard’s papers and personal objects will be donated to the Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History.

Shepard became a “gay icon” after his murder in 1998. The donation will include personal papers from elementary school through college as well as theater scripts, photographs, correspondence, and notebooks. There are also items such as a child-sized Superman cape, sandals, and purple ribbon award.

Golden Girls Breakfast Cereal In a blow for secular consubstantiation, fans of The Golden Girls can reunite with Dorothy, Blanche, Sophia, and Rose every morning with a breakfast cereal named for the show. The cereal will retail for $7.99 at Target stores. The actual product is reportedly a multi-grain blue loop, perhaps an homage to blue hair dye. Each box comes with a collectible toy of one of the four “Golden Girls” ladies, played by Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Rue McClanah-

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Issue 287 | Qsaltlake.com

an, and Betty White from 1985 through 1992.

and other transgender-identifying stars in speaking out against the leaked document.

HHS allegedly suggests changing a previously made gender definition to a definition “on a biological basis” as either male or female which is determined by at birth to be used for all Federal Government purposes.

‘New NAFTA’ calls for non-discrimination

Ultimate honor from “The Simpsons” RuPaul has “arrived”, minus a chin. RuPaul announced that he would play a character on an upcoming episode of The Simpsons called “Queen Chante,” not quite RuPaul’s frequent, “shantay,” but close.

The image is signed by Matt Groening, the creator of The Simpsons and, as all characters on the TV show, is chinless.

The episode will feature at least one RuPaul’s Drag Race queen: Raja and will air on November 18.

Caitlyn stands up to President Proving she deserves the Arthur Ashe “Award for Courage”, Caitlyn Jenner has joined growing list of celebrities speaking out against the US Federal Government reported plan to narrow the legal definition of gender.

“We will not be erased,” she wrote on Twitter. The Vogue cover girl called the proposal “an unacceptable attack on my community”. It is believed she meant other transgender people and not the Khardashian Family. The Glamour Mag Woman of the Year, joins Laverne Cox, Alexandra Billings

Keep this one quiet, but, the draft of the United States– Mexico-Canada Agreement replacing the 30-year-old NAFTA treaty calls to eliminate discrimination against gay, lesbian and transgender people in the workplace.

The treaty specifies that sex discrimination includes sexual orientation and gender identity: “Parties recognize the goal of eliminating sex-based discrimination in employment and occupation, and support the goal of promoting equality of women in the workplace… protect workers against employment discrimination on the basis of sex, including with regard to pregnancy, sexual harassment, sexual orientation, gender identity.“ The draft provision would require no changes to U.S. law said a spokesperson for the Office of the U.S. Trade Representative.

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 9

Call Wharton O’Brien Law

Another Chelsea Morning In case you had forgotten who she is or was wondering about her latest status, Chelsea Manning (US Army soldier, WikiLeaks contributor, convict, political candidate, transgender advocate, media hound) announced on Twitter that, “After almost a decade of fighting — thru prison, the courts, a hunger strike, and thru the insurance company —I finally got surgery this week.” No indication what the surgery was, but we can guess.

Wharton O’Brien, PLLC 165 S Main Street, Suite 200 Salt Lake City, Utah 84111 chriswhartonlaw.com

10 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Qsaltlake.com |

Protests in Utah and around country against Trump’s transgender directive Upwards of 200 people gathered outside the White House and 70 in Salt Lake City and in places across the nation to protest against the Trump administration’s proposal to define sex in federal policy as biological gender. Another protest is planned in Logan, Utah on Saturday, Nov. 3.

National Center for Transgender Equality Executive Director Mara Keisling and Casa Ruby CEO Ruby Corado are among those who spoke at the #WontBeErased rally.

The New York Times published a report on the proposal, which the newspaper said would amount to “defining transgender out of existence.” Transgender rights advocates and their supporters quickly criticized the proposal that emerged less than three weeks before the midterm elections.

The Health and Human Services Department memo said that government agencies should adopt a definition of gender based “on a biological basis that is clear, grounded in science, objective and administrable.”

The definition would define sex as an immutable characteristic determined at birth on the basis of genitalia and would run contrary to the gender identity of roughly 1 million adult transgender Americans.

“Despite the cruel efforts of the Trump administration, trans people #WontBeErased,” wrote Rodrigo Heng-Lehtinen, the trans son of U.S. Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-Fla.), on his Twitter page. “We are your family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers.

We are committed community organizers who have been beating the odds for generations. This administration will not define us because we won’t let it.”

“Today, trans people on my time-line are reporting being harassed at an alarming rate and with specific threats that they should die. One website features a friend’s picture and states that a vote for Trump is a vote to kill transgender people,” wrote former Utah minister Sean Dennison.

“The Trump Administration is planning to erase trans people — just say they don’t exist (like when the President of Iran said, we don’t have homosexuals in

our country),” posted Sen. James Dabakis (D-Salt Lake City) “A special place in hell is reserved for the most despicable among us — those who deliberately use division and hatred toward some to gain political, business or religious advantage for themselves.”

Salt Lake City’s “rally against Trump’s transphobia” was organized by the University of Utah Students for a Democratic Society. More than 70 people showed up at the on Saturday afternoon, carrying transgender pride flags and signs emblazoned with messages like “Trans Lives Matter.”

Equality Utah Executive Director Troy Williams told the crowd that the proposed move, coming so close to November’s midterm elections, a “despicable” effort to score political points.

“Science has shown over and over again there’s not just a binary of male and female,” he said. “There’s a vast intersex

Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

community as well that has characteristics of both sexes in one person. The human body and human lives are incredibly complex, and Trump wants to be incredibly simple in his definitions.”

A “Demonstration for Trans Visibility” is planned in Logan, Utah on Saturday, Nov. 3.

“In light of recent and ongoing attacks against the trans community, we come together to uplift trans voices, give visi-

bility and validation, provide resources, teach allyship, and maintain an open conversation about trans liberation in Cache Valley,” organizers wrote on a Facebook event page.

Hundreds of people gathered in New York City’s Washington Square Park to protest the proposed policy.

Apple, Google, Microsoft, Amazon, Facebook, and more than 50 other companies issued a joint letter opposing the proposal, saying they “oppose any administrative and legislative efforts to erase transgender protections through reinterpretation of existing laws and regulations.” Q PHOTO: COURTESY OF KEVIN LINDSTROM

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NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11

TO WEST WENDOVER, Nevada Featuring the Matrons of Mayhem NEXT BUS:

Sat. December 1

Tickets $25 or

BigGayFunBus.com or 801-997-9763 x2

or cash-only at Club Try-Angles during normal hours

@BigGayFunBus

12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Qsaltlake.com | Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

reported in March and another in June. Four assaults reportedly occurred on the same day: Sept. 17.”

Four percent of the school’s

student body of 349 students are involved in the incidents.

Accused students are not allowed at school until the investigation is complete. Q

Matthew Shepard interred at Washington National Cathedral

High school football players in Central Utah facing sexual assault charges Misty Cox became concerned for her 15-year-old son’s wellbeing when he began acting strangely after football practice last year. A Gunnison Valley High School school resource officer contacted her shortly after to inform her that her son had been sexually assaulted by a group of football players.

Gunnison is in Sanpete County, two hours south of Salt Lake City.

Cox told Fox 13, “He was embarrassed by what had happened and just wished it would all just go away. Two boys held him down, a third boy pulled his own pants down and rubbed his backside and genitalia all over my son’s face.

My son did not consent to this.

My son was held down against

his will and was sexually assaulted. This is not a hazing incident. This is not a bullying incident. This is not a ‘boys will be boys’ incident. This is a sexual assault.”

The school opened an investigation and all three students are facing charges of sexual assault.

During the investigation, other victims have come forward describing at least 13 other acts of sexual abuse.

“The first alleged assault occurred in October 2017, according to charging documents,” Sanpete County Attorney, Kevin Daniels, told The Salt Lake Tribune. “One assault was reported in November and December 2017, with two in January. One was

Matthew Shepard, who was murdered at 21 years old in 1998 in an anti-gay hate crime, was interred at Washington National Cathedral following a service of thanksgiving and remembrance on Friday, Oct. 26, at the request of the Shepard family. Friday, Oct. 12, was the 20th anniversary of Shepard’s death. The service celebrated Shepard’s life and was followed by a private interment in the Cathedral crypt.

“We’ve given much thought to Matt’s final resting place, and we found the Washington National Cathedral is an ideal choice, as Matt loved the Episcopal church and felt welcomed by his church in Wyoming,” said Judy Shepard, Matthew’s mother. “For the past 20 years, we have shared Matt’s story with the world.

It’s reassuring to know he now will rest in a sacred spot where folks can come to reflect on creating a safer, kinder world.”

A longtime supporter of the full inclusion of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgen-

der people in the life of the church, the Cathedral considers LGBTQ equality one of the great civil rights issue of the church in the 21st century.

The Cathedral hosted its first same-sex wedding in 2010, and welcomed its first transgender preacher, the Rev. Cameron Partridge, to the Canterbury Pulpit in 2014. The Salt Lake Men’s Choir performed in 2005 at the Cathedral as part of the quadrennial Utah Day. “Matthew Shepard’s death is an enduring tragedy affecting all people and should serve as an ongoing call to the nation to reject anti-LGBTQ bigotry and instead embrace each of our neighbors for who they are,” said the Very Rev. Randolph Marshall Hollerith, dean of Washington National Cathedral. “In the years since Matthew’s death, the Shepard family has shown extraordinary courage and grace in keeping his spirit and memory alive, and the Cathedral is honored and humbled to serve as his final resting place.” Q

14 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Q mmunity Holiday Card Decorating for Incarcerated Queer and Trans Folks Join the LGBT Resource Center in partnership with the Black and Pink Organization to decorate postcards for queer and trans folks in prison over the holidays.

Tuesday, Nov. 27, 10 a.m.– p.m. at the LGBT Resource Center, University of Utah, 200 Central Campus Dr Rm 409, Salt Lake City.

First Sunday Brunch & Bingo with The Matrons of Mayhem Celebrate the time change with the Matrons at Off Trax.

The best place to be on Sunday is at Sunday Brunch and Bingo with The Matrons of Mayhem.

Go and flirt with the Matrons while enjoying a wonderful brunch prepared

by Jesse Dowhaniuk, then win fabulous prizes playing bingo with the “Gurls.”

Off Trax opens at 11:00 am for food, fun and friends.

Bingo with the Matrons of Mayhem will begin at 1 p.m.

Then we can all saunter over to Club Try-Angles for a cocktail and “Beer Church”.

They serve wonderful Mimosas and Bloody Marys.

RCGSE Transgender Awareness Week A week of events begins with the Monarch Show on Saturday, Nov. 3 from 7–10 p.m. at the Sun Trapp.

“Breaking BRead” is Sunday from 4:30-6:30 p.m. A dinner event for a $5 donation.

Monday is movie night with “Boys Don’t Cry” from 7-9 p.m. at the Sun Trapp Tuesday from 7-9 p.m. is a Transgender Awareness Panel

Qsaltlake.com |

at the Utah Pride Center, 1380 S. Main St. Wednesday is a dart tournament from 7-10 p.m. at the Sun-Trapp.

Friday is a bowling night at Bonwood Bowl from 10 p.m. to midnight. $15 will get you shoes and two games with a portion of the proceeds donated to the RCGSE Transgender Fund.

Saturday is the Transgender Empowerment Show from 7–10 p.m. at the Sun-Trapp with a $5 suggested donation.

More info at facebook.com/rcgse/

No-Kill Utah Super Adoption Hundreds of adoptable cats and dogs will be featured from more than 20 Utah shelters and rescue groups, each committed to making Utah a no-kill state.

Adoption fees include spay/ neuter, vaccinations and an adoption starter kit. Admission and parking are FREE and adoption fees start at just $25.

And get your chance to adopt one of The Super 60 — 60 dogs from a shelter in south Texas, transported to Utah for their lifesaving event.

When: Friday, Nov 2, Noon to 7pm; Saturday, Nov 3, 10am to 5pm., Utah State Fairpark, 1000 W North Temple.

Rachel Edwards Benefit Show Rachel Edwards needs help with medical expenses so that she may get the treatments and help she needs as she has been battling MS. She has taken care of the community for years and been an advocate for so many. We need to take care of Rachel.

Weds. Nov. 21, 7 p.m., Urban Lounge, 241 S 500 E, Tickets $5 via ticketf.ly Featuring Talia Keys and the Femme, The Violet Temper, Stop Karen, The Midnight Babies, FTP.

Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

LGBTQ students encouraged to apply for a Point Foundation scholarship LGBTQ students enrolling in undergraduate or graduate programs for the 2019–20 academic year may apply online for a Point Foundation Scholarship. Point Foundation is the nation’s largest scholarship-granting organization for LGBTQ students of merit. It currently provides financial assistance and programmatic support to 97 students.

According to a survey by StudentLoanHero.com, LGBTQ students accrue $16,000 more debt on average than their heterosexual peers. Moreover, nearly a third of LGBTQ students report discrimination because of their gender identity or sexual orientation when seeking financial assistance for higher education. Recognizing that LGBTQ students face distinct financial disadvantages and marginalization, Point provides its scholarship recipients with mentoring and leadership development training as well as financial support.

“Despite the constant attacks on our community, our LGBTQ young people are eager to develop the skills they need to fight back against discrimination and become the leaders our country so desperately needs,” said Jorge Valencia, executive director and chief executive officer of Point Foundation. “These students’ determination to create an equitable society that values and celebrates diversity needs to be — and can be — realized with our support.”

To receive a Point Foundation Scholarship, candidates must demonstrate academic excellence, leadership skills, community involvement, and financial need. Attention is given to applicants who have experienced marginalization and/or are working to improve the lives of marginalized groups, particularly the LGBTQ community.

Speaking at the 2018 Point Honors Los Angeles event, Herb Hamsher Point Scholar Nia Clark, a social-work student at California State University, proudly told the audience: “I am bigger than the discrimination that threatens my black trans existence every day.

I am somebody. I’m a leader.

I’m a Point Scholar. And I’m going to change the world by living authentically and unapologetically in my truth.”

Once selected each scholar pairs with a mentor and participates in leadership development training with fellow Point Scholars. Point Scholars also give back to the LGBTQ community by completing an individual community service project each year. After graduation, scholars become part of Point’s growing alumni network, connecting them with caring individuals and professional contacts in a wide range of fields throughout the nation.

Since 2002, Point has awarded more than 450 scholarships.

Individuals, corporations, and organizations can support Point’s mission by designating a scholarship with a “Name,” which recognizes the donor, an individual, or an institution.

Named Scholarship donors pledge to cover the financial assistance and programmatic support Point provides its scholars. New Named Scholarships for the 2019–20 academic year include: CAA Point Scholarship; FedEx Point Scholarship; Stacy R. Friedman Point Scholarship; and the Patti Sue Mathis Point Scholarship.

The 2019 class of Point Foundation Scholarship recipients will be announced in June 2019 for LGBTQ Pride Month.

Apply online at p­ ointfoundation.org/apply.

Students may submit their application until 11:59 p.m. PST Jan. 28, 2019. A short application information video is available .

November 1, 2018 |

BEST OF STATE Issue 287 | Qsaltlake.com

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 15

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16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

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Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

Equality Utah Candidate Guide Equality Utah’s 2018 Voter Guide was developed to help voters better understand where candidates running for office stand on LGBTQ issues here in Utah.

The scores in this guide were generated from data collected through a digital survey. The survey consisted of twelve total questions, 7 of which were directly related to our policy priorities. Candidates were only graded on the questions that relate to our policy work and received either zero points, one point or a half point where appropriate.

SURVEY QUESTIONS The following questions were answered on a 1–5 scale from very unlikely to very likely: 1. It’s currently legal in Utah to deny service to an LGBTQ person in a place that provides service to the general public. Some examples include: restaurants, hotels, health care establishments, retail spaces. If approached with this legisla-

tion, or an opportunity to affect change on this legislation/policy. How likely are you to champion the passage of legislation that would extend public accommodations protections for sexual orientation and gender identity?

2. Transgender people are often denied benefits by their insurance companies for mental health or transitional related care such as hormones. If approached with this legislation, or an opportunity to affect change on this legislation/policy. How likely are you to champion the passage of legislation that will extend health insurance benefits to transgender employees and/or their family members?

3. Conversion therapy is the effort to change someone’s sexual orientation from gay to straight. If approached with this legislation, or an opportunity to affect change on this legislation/policy.

How likely are you to champion the passage of legislation that would prohibit conversion therapy for minors?

US HOUSE

UTAH HOUSE

ADAM DAVIS US House 1 davisforutah@gmail.com SCORE: 100%

JOSHUA HARDY Utah House 1 jgh191@yahoo.com SCORE: 93%

LEE CASTILLO, US House 1 info@utahisforeverybody.com SCORE: 97%

MARILYN MECHAM Utah Hse 3 marilyn@hot-shot.com SCORE: 86%

SHIREEN GHORBANI, US Hse 2 shireen@shireen2018.com SCORE: 100%

DAN JOHNSON, Utah House 4 danjohnsonhouse4@gmail.com SCORE: 82%

JAMES COURAGE SINGER, US House 3 campaign@jamessinger.org SCORE: 86%

US SENATE JENNY WILSON, ali@wilsonforsenate.com SCORE: 100% CRAIG BOWDEN admin@bowden4senate.com SCORE: 64% CALEB REEVE, calebdreeve@gmail.com SCORE: 54%

SL COUNTY DISTRICT ATTORNEY SIM GILL, campaign@votesim.com SCORE: 100%

JOSH BRUNDAGE, Utah House 4 joshbrundage4utah@gmail.com SCORE: 86% DEANA FROERER, Utah House 8 deana@froerer4house.com SCORE: 96% KATHIE DARBY, Utah House 9 kjdarby@hotmail.com SCORE: 100% ADAM ALBA, Utah House 18 Adam.alba@gmail.com SCORE: 96% JOE SPECIALE, Utah House 19 jmspeciale@gmail.com SCORE: 71% AMBER CHRISTIANSEN BELTRAN, Utah House 22 amberbeltran22@gmail.com SCORE: 75%

4. How likely are you to support LGBTQ specific trainings within your local law enforcement and other government agencies?

5. Over the past 20 years, Utah’s hate crimes law has yet to convict a single offender. If approached with this legislation, or an opportunity to affect change on this legislation/policy. How likely are you to support our efforts to strengthen our existing laws by including categories of race, ethnicity, religion, disability, sexual orientation and gender identity?

6. If approached with this legislation, or an opportunity to affect change on this legislation/policy. How likely are you to champion policy initiatives that would require government facilities to have single-occupancy gender neutral restrooms?

7. Do you agree with the following statement? I support a Transgender Utahn’s right to access restrooms that match their gender identity.

JEN DAILEY-PROVOST, Utah House 24 jdailey1725@gmail.com SCORE: 100%

DAVID N SUNDWALL, Utah House 37 david.sundwall@utah.edu SCORE: 61%

SCOTT ROSENBUSH, Utah House 24 scott@rosenbush4utah.org SCORE: 82%

EDGAR HARWOOD, Utah Hse 38 edgar@harwoodforhouse.com SCORE: 100%

JOEL BRISCOE, Utah House 25 joelfor25@gmail.com SCORE: 100%

STEPHEN PECK, Utah House 39 stephenlpeck@yahoo.com SCORE: 100%

ANGELA ROMERO, Utah Hse 26 angela.romero37@gmail.com SCORE: 100%

STEPHANIE PITCHER, Utah House 40 stephanie@electstephanie.com SCORE: 100%

BRIAN KING, Utah House 28 brian@briansking.com SCORE: 93%

WENDY GARVIN, Utah House 41 wgarvin@wendamus.com SCORE: 100%

KERRY WAYNE, Utah House 29 kerry.wayne@comcast.net SCORE: 96%

AMY L MARTZ, Utah House 42 amylmartz@gmail.com SCORE: 96%,

MIKE WINDER, Utah House 30 mike@mikewinder.com SCORE: 93%,

DIANE LEWIS, Utah House 43 votedianelewis@gmail.com SCORE: 96%

PATRICE ARENT, Utah House 36 SCORE: 100%

SHAWN CURTIS, Utah House 43 amaduli@gmail.com SCORE: 57%

CAROL SPACKMAN MOSS, Utah House 37 Carolspackmoss@gmail.com SCORE: 100%

ANDREW STODDARD, Utah House 44 SCORE: 100%

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NIKKI CUNARD, Utah House 45 SCORE: 79% MARIE POULSON, Utah House 46 marie.poulson@gmail.com SCORE: 100% LEE ANNE WALKER, Utah House 46 LAWalkerslc@gmail.com SCORE: 82% ANTHONY SUDWEEKS, Utah House 49 anthony.sudweeks@gmail.com SCORE: 82% MICHELE WEEKS, Utah Hse 51 mweeksutah@gmail.com SCORE: 71% DAN MCCLELLAN, Utah Hse 52 dan.mcclellan@gmail.com SCORE: 96% CHRISTOPHER JAMES NEVILLE, Utah House 53 chris@chris53.com SCORE: 86% MEAGHAN MILLER, Utah House 54 meaghan@votemiller54.com SCORE: 89% CHRISTINA HIGGINS, Utah House 55 christinasquirehiggins@gmail.com SCORE: 100% LYNN ZARITSKY, Utah House 58 lynnzaritsky58@gmail.com SCORE: 96% ERIC CHASE, Utah House 61 vote.eric.chase@gmail.com SCORE: 100% MATT STYLES, Utah House 61 mstyleshk@gmail.com SCORE: 100% MERLE TRAVIS WALL, Utah House 68 Merlewall4utah@gmail.com SCORE: 100% TIM GLENN, Utah House 69 timothy.aaron.glenn@gmail.com SCORE: 82% ROBERT GREENBERG, Utah House 70 bobgmoab@gmail.com SCORE: 96%

UTAH SENATE

2018 EQUALITY UTAH

DEREK KITCHEN, Utah Senate 2 derek.kitchen@gmail.com SCORE: 100%

ENDORSED CANDIDATES

CHASE WINDER, Utah Senate 2 winder4senate@gmail.com SCORE: 71%

Equality Utah Political Action Committee (EUPAC) exists to elect pro-equality candidates in Utah.

JANI LWAMOTO, Utah Senate 4 Iwamoto.jani@gmail.com SCORE: 100% KATHLEEN RIEBE, Utah Senate 8 mskriebe@gmail.com SCORE: 100% ALEXANDER CASTAGNO, Utah Senate 9 Votecastagno@gmail.com SCORE: 100% CHRISTIAN BURRIDGE, Utah Senate 11 christian.burridge@gmail.com SCORE: 100% ABRIAN B. VELARDE, Utah Senate 12 abrian4senate@gmail.com SCORE: 100% CLARE COLLARD, Utah Senate 12 electclarecollard@gmail.com SCORE: 93%, DANIEL THATCHER, Utah Senate 12 Danielwthatcher@gmail.com SCORE: 79% MIKE KEIL, Utah Senate 17 mike4utahsenate@gmail.com SCORE: 100% KEVIN L BRYAN, Utah Senate 18 info_servo@yahoo.com SCORE: 64% CATHY CALLOW-HEUSSER, Utah Senate 26 ccallowheusser@gmail.com SCORE: 86% MARK CHAMBERS Utah State Senate 28 mark@undertheeaves.com SCORE: 100%

UTAH BOARD OF EDUCATION

CHUCK GOODE, Utah House 71 chuckgoode@gmail.com SCORE: 86%

CRAIG K. PITTS, Utah Board of Education 2 craigpitts@reagan.com SCORE: 89%

DANIEL HOLLOWAY, Utah House 74 holloway4utah74@gmail.com SCORE: 43%

THOMAS E NEDREBERG, Utah Board of Education 3 thomas.nedreberg@gmail.com SCORE: 100%

EQUALITY UTAH PAC

Political Action Committee www.equalityutahpac.org

EUPAC has vetted these candidates regarding their position on issues that impact the lives of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer Utahns: PUBLIC ACCOMMODATIONS TRANSGENDER HEALTH CARE CONVERSION THERAPY LAW ENFORCEMENT HATE CRIMES We rely on our elected officials to pass inclusive policies that value every Utahn exactly as they are. A vote for these candidates is a vote for equality.

ELECTION DAY IS TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 6TH VOTE FOR EQUALITY UTAH STATE HOUSE JOSH BRUNDAGE - House 4 DEANA FROERER - House 8 KATHIE DARBY - House 9 ADAM ALBA - House 18 SANDRA HOLLINS - House 23 JEN DAILEY-PROVOST - House 24 JOEL BRISCOE - House 25 ANGELA ROMERO - House 26 BRIAN KING - House 28 MIKE WINDER - House 30 KAREN KWAN - House 34 MARK WHEATLEY - House 35 PATRICE ARENT - House 36 CAROL MOSS - House 37 STEPHANIE PITCHER - House 40 AMY L MARTZ - House 42 DIANE LEWIS - House 43 ANDREW STODDARD - House 44 MARIE POULSON - House 46 MICHELE WEEKS - House 51

UTAH STATE SENATE DEREK KITCHEN - Senate 2 GENE DAVIS - Senate 3 JANI IWAMOTO - Senate 4 KAREN MAYNE - Senate 5 KATHLEEN RIEBE - Senate 8 ALEXANDER CASTAGNO - Senate 9 DANIEL THATCHER - Senate 12 MARK CHAMBERS - Senate 28

SALT LAKE COUNTY COUNCIL ARLYN BRADSHAW - Council 1 LISA GEHRKE - Council 3 ANN GRANATO - Council 4 JIM BRADLEY - At-Large

STATE BOARD OF EDUCATION & DISTRICT ATTORNEY CRAIG K PITTS - Education 2 THOMAS E NEDREBERG - Education 3 SIM GILL - District Attorney facebook.com/equalityutah

@equalityutah

@equalityutah

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quotes “Let me be clear: Transgender people are not a burden. We are not an issue or a problem that needs to be handled. We are the soul of the earth and we make our communities better.”

—Trans HRC Youth Ambassador Ashton, urging residents in Massachusetts to vote #YesOn3 in November

“You are seen, you are heard, you are loved, and you #WontBeErased.”

—Rep. Joe Kennedy, D-Mass

“I fought too long and too hard to end discrimination based on race not to stand up and speak out against discrimination based on gender identity. We are all human beings blessed with the spark of the divine.”

—Rep. John Lewis, D–Ga.

“Over 1,600 scientists condemn Trump transgender proposal and, as ever, so little respect or reference to intersex people and the struggles for acceptance they face. Just when you think the brute cruelty and graceless couldn’t get worse” —Stephen Fry complaining about BBC News coverage of Trump’s transgender proposal

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guest editorial

Put Trump’s hate in check

BY KEVIN NAFF, WASHINGTON BLADE EDITOR

If you

need more motivation to get out and vote on Tuesday, then you haven’t been paying attention these past two years.

Donald Trump is abusing our democracy in the worst ways. Bigots, racists, homophobes and anti-Semites everywhere are emboldened to express their ignorance and act out on their hate thanks to the messages they receive from their commander in chief. Some of those messages are covert; others are more foghorn than dog whistle. When Trump tweets about the World Series and about having a bad hair day (aren’t they all for him) hours after a gunman kills 11 Jews in a Pittsburgh synagogue, he’s not merely being insensitive. He’s sending a message to his white nationalist supporters that he’s really not bothered by the deaths of Jewish people. He’ll read a few rote platitudes from a teleprompter when forced, then revert to his usual attacks on his perceived enemies hours later. Anyone who is still waiting for Trump to change his behavior and act presidential is living in fantasyland.

Trump and his supporters cavalierly deny that he is responsible for last week’s spate of violence, but the bully pulpit is real. When the president of the United States speaks, the world listens. When President Obama endorsed marriage equality, the dam of public support for the issue was broken and everyone from politicians to rappers came on board.

How far we’ve fallen from those hopeful times. Now when the president speaks, Americans are inspired to mail pipe bombs to current and former government officials; to fatally shoot two unarmed African-American shoppers at a Kroger; and to gun down worshippers in a synagogue, including a Holocaust survivor.

We must come to terms with the reality that the American president is an overt racist who lives to divide us. He is a

truly evil, repugnant presence. But Trump is a temporary infestation. Whether by Robert Mueller and impeachment or by the 2020 vote or by term limits, he will one day mercifully be gone. But the Americans who elevated him and his acolytes to the highest echelons of power will remain. And their goals are clear: overturn Roe v. Wade; chip away at marriage equality; prevent black voters from exercising their rights; ban immigration from “shithole countries” in a racist attempt to Make America White Again; lift environmental regulations; and hand over the government and our public lands to corporations. Those are the goals.

The only way to stop this madness is for good, thinking people of all stripes to vote on Nov. 6. Millennials and Gen Z voters must lead the way, along with suburban women who are flipping longtime GOP allegiances to vote Democratic.

History will judge not only Trump and his GOP enablers, but all of us. I’m reminded of a powerful history lesson from a college professor. Prior to a lecture about nationalism and the rise of the Nazi Party, she discreetly opened a window in the back of the classroom. It was winter in State College, Pa., so below freezing. As she spoke, the classroom became chilled; some of us donned coats and hats in our seats. When the professor finally opened up the discussion to our questions, someone asked incredulously how an entire population could stay silent while the government acted in such evil ways, rounding up and executing Jews. She replied, “It’s now 40 degrees in here and not one of you had the courage to ask me to close the window. That’s how.”

That’s what’s happening now. It’s time we all spoke up. It’s time to close the window on Trump and his divisive and dangerous hatred. Vote on Nov. 6 for Democrats. Q

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Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

lambda lore

A walk in the shoes of Eva and William McCleery

Eva

BY BEN WILLIAMS

McCleery was a transgender woman who lived in Salt Lake City in the early 20th century. I found two 1911 Salt Lake newspaper articles on McCleery that revealed a life briefly spinning out of control after a scandalous revelation. Using census records, Polk directories, newspaper articles, and Ancestry.com I pieced together the life of Eva McCleery and her male counterpart, Michael, an English cobbler.

There was no term at the time for people who identified as opposite of their biological gender. People who had undetermined genitalia or had both were termed as having hermaphroditism. Today the term intersex is used to describe a discrepancy between the external and internal genitals. William was not intersex.

In the 19th century, most cities had laws prohibiting cross-dressing or what was known as “masquerading as a member of the opposite sex.” In effect, the anti-cross-dressing laws were flexible tools for the police to enforce society’s normative gender identities. Today there are no laws against cross-dressers.

Female impersonators, as a form of entertainment, however, were not only popular in Vaudeville and theater but also seen as wholesome family entertainment. These performers were billed as female “illusionists”. The only other acceptable form of cross-dressing in the 19th and 20th centuries was in “Freak Shows” which featured Bearded Ladies and half-man half-woman exhibits. Eva was not a female impersonator or seen as a “freak”. It made her life all the more remarkable because she didn’t fit any of the prescribed categories and was dealt sympathetically in the press.

William McCleery, was born Oct. 11, 1849, in Liverpool, England to an Irishman named William McCleery and an Englishwoman named Ellen Billion.

William Sr. was a bootmaker by trade and William Jr. worked the same trade before

immigrating with his parent’s family to Salt Lake City in 1875. After converting to the Mormon Church the McCleery family settled in South Jordan.

As a child, William told a reporter that for 10 years he worked at the “cobbler’s bench in England dressed as a girl.” “I had a lot of fun,” he said, “and many a young spark made love to me.”

However, at the age of 27 in 1877, William married 16-year-old Ida McClure.

They had five children together, Lottie, Deseret, Lawrence, William, and Earl.

William and Ida divorced in 1911 after their children were all grown.

Evidently, William’s wife and children were aware of his wearing women’s clothing and assuming the identity of a female. A reporter wrote: “William McCleery’s family have known for years of his peculiar disease, if such it may be termed. They have not regarded his temporary lapses from masculine supremacy seriously until his story became public.

The fact is, as we learned yesterday, McCleery is a man, the father of a family but always obsessed by a longing to be a woman. To gratify as possible this unusual desire, he wears women’s clothes even to the extent of calling on his son and grandchildren dressed in feminine garments.

His son Lawrence and his brother Nephi of Murray declare his desires to emulate femininity comes over the shoemaker frequently and that at such times he becomes decidedly effeminate and for the moment forgets entirely he is a man….His son objects seriously to his father being termed a woman. He has known that his parent masqueraded at various times as a woman, but was not aware of the cause until yesterday when he was enlightened by his uncle and his father.”

William, after being discovered wearing women’s clothing by patrons of his shoe shop, sought out a newspaper reporter from The Salt Lake Tribune, hoping to salvage his reputation and business by first

claiming she was a woman passing as a man. The article’s headline read: “WOMAN PASSES FOR YEARS AS A MAN” and “William” H. Cleery [sic], Salt Lake Shoemaker, Finally Divulges Identity.”

McCleery then divulged a fantastic story that he was biologically a woman passing herself off as a man. “Hundred of citizens of Salt Lake who have for many years patronized “William” H. Cleery [sic], shoemaker in the basement of 50 South Main Street will be greatly surprised to learn that the quiet unassuming little cobbler is a woman. After a disguise maintained for a score of years with a very few in the secret, the woman divulged the secret yesterday.”

“Yes I am a woman,” admitted “Eva” to the Tribune reporter. “For 20 years I have worn male attire and for eleven years of that time, I have conducted shoe-making shops on Main Street of this city. Few if any guessed the secret of my identity until on an Ashton Avenue street car the other night I saw that several passengers had in some manner discovered the fact that I am a woman. I then resolved to resume female attire when again went on the streets.”

In the article, William called herself Eva McCleery “as the woman was known before she doffed the feminine name with the garments of the sex.” Eva detailed an elaborate fiction on why as a woman she dressed as a man. “About 20 years ago [1891], in a spirit of curiosity I put on men’s clothing. I found that I could work so much better at the bench unhampered by my skirts, that I continued the practice. It soon became second nature to me and I discarded female attire altogether.”

The reporter referred to McCleery as “Mrs. McCleery” in the article, unsuspecting that he was a divorced man and father of five children. Mrs. McCleery said, to explain the “manly” habit that folks had observed, “I learned to smoke,” she said

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with a shudder, recalling her early struggles to overcome a woman’s repugnance to the weed. “I practiced hoarsening my voice and tried to cultivate a taste for manly pursuits and amusements.”

Eva said she conducted a shop in the basement of the Utah National Bank building, and in the guise of a man, rented the place and set up business for herself. “I continued at this location for six years said Mrs. McCleery” and built up a good business. “I do good work,” she added proudly. “ I am not afraid to put my work in competition with the best men-shoemakers in the country.”

The reporter also referred to Mrs. McCleery as a “good looking ‘man’”. “Mrs. McCleery makes rather an attractive appearance in men’s clothing. Her gray hair, worn rather long, is brushed back from a face touched lightly by the passage of time. Her slight and slender figure is perfectly erect and neatly clad in a business suit, and she creates the impression of being what she really is — a business “man” of standing in the community.”

“But all levity is abandoned and the little woman is quite serious when she discussed her future. ‘I prefer wearing male attire but if there is any objection from anyone I will never again don trousers,’ she says. ‘Dr. Mary Walker and other women are permitted to wear men’s clothing and I don’t see why anybody should object if I should but I am ready to give up that form of dress if anyone objects.” And with just a little quiver of the lip and a suspicion of a tear in her eyes, the elderly woman concluded, ‘But I beg permission to dress as I please while at work at my bench.’”

After the article was printed the Salt Lake Herald scooped the Tribune, revealing that Eva was in actuality a man who was “obsessed” with believing he was a woman. “The medical profession throughout the United States has been discovered in the disclosures concerning

the life of William McCleery, the Salt Lake shoemaker, whose shop at 50 South Main Street, has been made a place of wide interests by publication of a weird story told by McCleery of his being in reality, a woman and of having masqueraded as a man for more than 20 years. It was discovered yesterday that the life history told by McCleery was, in reality, the invention of a mind so distorted by pre-natal suggestion that for sixty years McCleery has been mentally dominated by the instincts and preferences of his twin sister, who was still-born.” “According to the family, William McCleery was a twin, the other, a female child, being stillborn. This they say is the secret of his longing to be a woman. The influences exercised upon the male infant by the stillbirth of his twin sister were such that McCleery cannot resist the desire to emulate womankind. When these impulses sweep over him, male reasoning seeks flight and to all intents and purposes, he becomes the twin sister. Stranger still, he involuntarily assumes feminine mannerisms and his voice becomes soft and low.”

“McCleery’s relatives bear him out in every statement he makes concerning his peculiar dual personality, though they regret the notoriety it is bringing to them. They repudiate the suggestion that he is deranged. McCleery appears sane enough and all his replies are lucid and convincing.”

McCleery told the Herald Reporter, “No I cannot resist the feeling to be a woman in the least. Why only last night I donned my female dress and took a ride

in the street cars. Almost every Sunday, when I see handsomely dressed women going to church, the desire to be one of them comes over me and I work myself into a fever if I do not give way and change to woman’s finery, Arrayed in a complete outfit, I am calmed as soon as the spell works itself out, and I change again to male dress.”

When asked why McCleery informed newspapers previously that he was a woman, McCleery said that “he was a woman”. “McCleery said that so many people had seen him when he masqueraded and had recognized him when they came to his shop that he thought the easiest way to prevent his affliction becoming known was to give out that he is of the weaker sex.”

McCleery is not found in newspaper reports after this time. His ex-wife had moved away from Utah to Portland, Oregon with a teenage son and remarried.

McCleery never remarried but remained in Salt Lake City living much of the remainder of her life as Eva. The 1920 United States Census enumerated McCleery as Eva McCleery and listed her sex as female. She stated she was a 69-year-old widow born in England.

Her occupation was listed as a shoemaker in a shop she owned. She is listed as an Alien having never been naturalized.

Eva appears in the Polk directories for various years in the 1920s as the widow of William McCleery.

The 1930 Census showed McCleery was living with his eldest daughter Lottie and her husband John E. Leonard and was listed as the father-in-law of Leonard and enumerated as William McCleery, an 81-year-old male with no occupation. His birthplace was given as Northern Ireland.

In 1932 McCleery passed away at the Salt Lake County Infirmary. The official cause of death was from a “hypertrophied prostate” Q

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Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

Transphobia

BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI

Being in

middle school is tough. Your body is going through often mortifying changes: acne, body hair, growth spurts. Your hormones are raging. Kids are often relentlessly cruel to each other. You aren’t old enough to drive. Your parents are hopelessly lame.

Not to mention the active shooter drills you have to go through on a routine basis because the U.S. can’t get its shit together when it comes to guns. It’s revolting that protecting children from being slaughtered in math class is a partisan issue in this country and that Republicans are on the side of the guns. But that’s where we are.

Also a partisan issue in this country is how, or whether, to protect transgender students. (Spoiler alert: Republicans are not on the side of the students. Again.) You might remember that the Obama administration issued guidelines to schools that said, essentially, “Hey, transgender students are human beings so treat them accordingly.”

In many schools this wasn’t a big deal. And by big deal, I mean it wasn’t much of an adjustment.

It was, however, a big deal for trans students. I mean, man, if the President of the United States had advocated for the protection of LGBTQ students when I was in high school that would have meant the world to me. It would have made a lot of LGBTQ kids feel less alone and also feel a little safer.

However, the guidance led to a bit of scrambling in some more conservatives places in the country where treating trans kids as human was a very foreign concept. Much hand-wringing was done over where trans kids should pee or

change for gym.

And then came the Trump administration. And the guidelines for protecting trans students were scrapped. Trans kids went from a president who cared about them to one who was actively hostile.

And so the issue of where trans kids should pee or change was left up to individual schools to figure out however they wanted. And some schools are doing a really bad job.

Case in point: what happened at a Stafford County middle school in Virginia on Sept. 28.

On that day the school had an active shooter drill during which the teachers are charged with making sure students are sheltered in a designated area depending on where they are in the building. One of the places of safety at this middle school was the locker room. The boys went into the boys’ locker room and the girls went into the girls’ locker room.

Except for one girl in particular who wasn’t allowed in either locker room because she is transgender.

According to multiple reports, the teachers didn’t know what to do with her and, after much debate, had the girl sit outside in the hallway, completely exposed to the attack that her other classmates were practicing how to survive.

Now, of course, it was only just a drill. It’s not like she was exposed to any real danger, right? Well, yes, technically. But the very point of a drill is to practice what you will do in the event of a real threat. And what was communicated to this young girl was, essentially, “You’re on your own.”

Now, you don’t need guidance from the federal government to

tell you that there is no such thing as expendable children. But when guidance that acknowledges that trans students exist and affirms their right to be protected is issued only to be taken away, that is a pretty strong signal to trans students and the people who are supposed to teach, protect and learn with them that they are worthless.

GLSEN, an organization that works for safe and inclusive schools for LGBTQ students, just released its 2017 National School Climate Survey, which shows that “victimization of LGBTQ youth is not decreasing at rates previously seen — and has, in fact, gotten worse for transgender and gender nonconforming youth.”

And it won’t get better until we have elected officials in power who see LGBTQ youth as human beings. One of the best things you can do for LGBTQ people is to vote. Make a plan to vote on Nov. 6. Spend some time researching the candidates. Since hostility to LGBTQ people is part of the Republican platform, voting for Democrats is pretty much a no brainer, but knowing who you’re voting for when it comes to judges and other non-partisan offices is also important. A good resource is vote411.org.

If you’re thinking of sitting this election out, I urge you to think of that girl sitting alone in the hallway, imaginary bullets flying. Vote like her life depends on it. Because it does Q D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living in Michigan with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBT politics for over a decade. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.

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Life is better au naturel Utah Male Naturists is a group of gay, bisexual, and LGBT-friendly straight men who enjoy social nudism in a non-sexual environment.

We host deck parties, game nights, camp outs, hikes, retreats, theme parties, and naked lunches.

All 18+ who identify as male are welcome.

info@umen.org

umen.org

fb.me/utahmalenaturists

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Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

Utah Pride Center presents the 10th Genderevolution The Utah Pride Center’s annual Genderevolution Conference faces a dark and threatening storm again this year. Though many stepping stones have been placed in recent years, the transgender and nonbinary communities of Utah and the United States are once again under attack.

Last month, President Trump’s administration made a proposal to all federal agencies to define gender as an immutable characteristic determined at birth on the basis of genitalia, effectively erasing transgender people from governmental existence. This would defy the scientific and medical evidence embraced by major organizations like the American Medical Association and American Psychiatric Association.

Last year, Trump tried to reinstate a ban on transgender Americans serving in the U.S. military. That ban is mired in legal battles.

While lesbian and gay people in the community are largely enjoying radical change in rights over the past several years, the transgender part of the community still struggles for its very existence.

The UPC Genderevolution Conference will be held November 10 at the Salt Lake Community College Redwood Campus, and will present keynote speakers Cece McDonald and Buck Angel under the

banner, “A decade of love,” in celebration of it being the 10th annual conference in Salt Lake City.

McDonald is an artist and activist working to dismantle the prison industrial complex to win the liberation of all oppressed people. She is a Black trans woman and a survivor of white supremacist and transphobic violence.

During her time in prison, her evocative and thoughtful writing inspired an international community of activists to support the #FreeCeCe and to advance the broader movements for trans liberation and prison abolition. Since her release in January 2014, she has dedicated her life to these movements through public education and organizing.

Buck Angel, is an adult film producer and motivational speaker. A trans man, he has won awards for his work in adult films, and now works as an advocate, educator, lecturer, and writer. He has worked to affirm sexual freedom as a fundamental human right through advocacy and education.

His message of empowerment through self-acceptance and encouragement of everyone to be comfortable in their own skin has struck a passionate chord with people around the world.

The conference opens at 8 a.m., Nov. 10 with registration and a coffee social

hour. At 9 a.m. conference-goers will be welcomed by Elisa Stone of the Salt Lake Community College Creative Writing Center, Utah Pride Center Board Chair Sue Robbins and trans veteran and motivational speaker Josie Jesse. A musical performance of “This is Me”by Marj Desius follows.

Buck Angel and Dr. Rixt Luikenaar will present the first keynote speech at 9:40.

Breakout sessions then include Queer Trans Persons of Color, PolyQ, Queer Trans Youth, a Parents’ caucus, the Public Safety Pride Alliance – Building Bridges between first responders and members of gender diverse communities, and the 48-Hour Film Out Project – 2018 Damn These Heels Film Festival short films screening followed by filmmaker Q&A At 1 p.m. is keynote speaker CeCe McDonald, followed by more breakout sessions. At 4:40 is the presentation of the Transgender Advocacy Team Award along with a raffle drawing.

The event ends with a reception with food provided by Tin Angel.

Throughout the event will be a clothing swap and the Utah AIDS Foundation will be on-hand to do HIV testing from 12:30 to :30 p.m. Q More information can be found at utahpridecenter.org/ genderevolution

Project Rainbow will spread flags for Transgender Day of Remembrance from Provo to Ogden November 1st marks the start of Transgender Awareness Month and Project Rainbow is offering a way to show support by signing up to have a transgender flag staked in your yard by Project Rainbow for Nov. 20 Transgender Day of Remembrance, also known as TDOR. Project Rainbow will be staking transgender pride flags in front of residences and businesses Nov. 18–25 to increase visibility for the transgender community and to memorialize the countless transgender individuals who are murdered every year in acts of transphobia.

A project rainbow scout will show up and stake as many trans flags as you want on your yard, balcony, or at your business.

The money raised from Project Rainbow TDOR will benefit Transgender Ed-

ucation Advocates of Utah. Flags will be made available from Provo to Ogden.

Transgender Day of Remembrance is hosted by HRC Utah, the Utah Pride Center and TEA of Utah at The Urban Indian Center of Salt Lake, 120 W. 1300 South.

Doors will open at 5:30 p.m. and the service will take place at 6 p.m., followed by a reception.

The transgender community and allies are invited to remember and honor transgender people from around the world whose lives have been lost to anti-transgender violence.

More information on the Project Rainbow flags can be found at ­projetrainbowutah.org.

Information on TDOR is on Facebook at bit.ly/TDOR2018. Q

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Transgender Utahns

Sue Robbins SHE/HER/HERS

Robbins is the chair of the Utah Pride Center Board of Directors. Under her leadership the Center found, refurbished, and moved into a new building, and hired a new executive director.

Excitement in the new Center is likely at the highest level its ever been, especially when hundreds of LGBT and ally Utahns showed up to see the new building and meet Rob Moolman.

Robbins identifies as a transgender woman and also as an intersex individual. She is a veteran with 20 years of service in the U.S. Army and 34 years experience in satellite communications, engineering, and management. She currently lives in Woods Cross with her loving wife, Theresa. She has three children and 10 grandchildren.

“When I first joined the Utah Pride Center board, it was because I wanted transgender representation on the board,” she said. “Six months later I saw that Mike Aguilar was going to be the board chair and I wanted to be his vice chair so I could learn from his non-profit skills and vision while being able to take on the improvements [in the Center] that I wanted to be leading on.”

“At the close of my first year, I was leading the hiring process for the next executive director while our Building Committee had sold our previous building

and was just completing buying our current one. With these and all the other wonderful things being done by the board, staff, and volunteers, I had to stay for a second year to see it all finish taking shape.”

The board’s term limits of two years mean that her position as chair is coming to an end.

Robbins is also on the board of the Transgender Education Advocates of Utah, known as TEA of Utah. She plans to dedicate more of her time to that organization.

She made a statement on Transgender Awareness Month on her Facebook wall writing: “This year I want to talk about visibility. Each year, the support for the Transgender community grows within the general public.

This is because people are slowly getting to where they know someone who is Transgender.

“A couple of years ago, there was a survey that stated that 16 percent of the population knew someone who was Transgender.

The previous survey was eight percent. This should give us an idea of where we are starting from. We sometimes live in a bubble and don’t realize how many people actually haven’t personally met someone who is Transgender.

“This year I listened to a senator giving a passionate speech on the Senate floor about how his heart was changed because one of his children’s friends came out as Transgender.

Kayden Petersen-Craig

Brianna Cluck

HE/HIM/HIS

SHE/HER/HERS

Petersen-Craig is the current Emperor of the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire and has also held the positions of Prince Royale 41 and Treasurer for the 42 Reign.

He was previously was very involved in the leather community, including being the first Oregon State Puppy. He was Mr. Trans San Diego 2011 and has helped start and facilitate many trans support groups.

His largest contribution to the Utah trans community , he says, is his openness and inclusion for people of all walks of life.

“I am a gay, disabled trans man of color. Even in our own community there are cliques.

Why can’t we all be equal? I feel like I am able to serve as a voice for people when they may not feel comfortable speaking out,” he said.

Cluck is the president of Provo Pride, which put on its sixth Pride this year..

Cluck has also been a “fabulous home evening” mom for USGA — Understanding Sexuality, Gender, and Allyship — at Brigham Young University. She has also spoken at the Affirmation: LGBT Mormons, Families & Friends and moderates one of Affirmation’s Facebook groups.

“It feels weird to talk about contributions to the community,” Cluck said, “but I guess my biggest thing would be setting up the Trans Day of Remembrance vigil in Provo. I saw that there was one in salt lake, recognized that if I couldn’t get up there other people might not be able to either, and was fortunate enough to be able to use space in Centro Hispano with only 72 hours notice. Those folks are a huge asset to Provo, and deserve more recognition.”

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s work for visibility, equality

Rachel Edwards

Dallas Rivas

Gabriella Blanchard

SHE/HER/HERS

HE, HIM, HIS

SHE, HER, HERS, AND FEMME

Sophia Jean Hawes-Tingey SHE/HER/HERS.

Edwards is in her fourth year on the Genderevolution planning committee. She’s part of the Rock-n-Roll Camp for Girls/ Womyn, and is very proud they are inclusive of transgender and non-binary people.

She is a member of the SL,UT Grrrl Gang, a feminist activist group that grew out of the breakup of Utah Women Unite.

She was on Misty K. Snow’s campaign committee as assistant treasurer and volunteered at the Utah Pride Center working at the front desk for several years until they moved out of the 4th South location. She calls it “one of the best jobs I ever had.

I loved meeting all the people, helping them and hearing their stories.”

People might recognize her car as well, as it is hand-painted in the trans flag colors and says “Proud to be Transgender” on it.

Friends raised $1,000 towards repairs so that she could drive to the Women’s March in Las Vegas. It was her dream to show a statement at the March for transgender women.

Rivas is on the board of Transgender Education Advocates of Utah, known as TEA of Utah, and is on the Utah Pride Center Genderevolution committee. He is also on the Transgender Day of Remembrance, or TDOR, planning committee, and volunteers with the Utah AIDS Foundation and Project Rainbow.

He runs LGBTees & Queer Gear where he sells LGBT-related t-shirts at events and Prides.

He donates many shirts to LGBT youth and has donated, and paid to ship, shirts to a Kenyan LGBT refugee camp to help their plans to hold a Pride of their own.

“I try to be visible so trans folks can see that we can make a difference,” he said. “I let strangers know that we are real and the same as anyone else. I try to take up space in the gay community to convey that I am no different. I am gay and trans. I am not going to hide who I am. I try to lead by example so youth never have to be ashamed of who they are.”

Blanchard is the interim director of the University of Utah LGBT Resource Center as well as its coordinator of education and outreach She was also involved in the Peacock Lounge, a gathering of femmes and femme lovers on the margins.

“I think the best thing we can all contribute as trans women and femmes is to stay alive, keep showing up for each other, love each other, and femmetor each other along the way,” she said.

“I hope I contribute this to the trans community here. I hope I show up bravely and boldly with the hard conversations inside and outside of our community.

I hope that I show up for the work of ending transantagonism, racism, ableism and bigotry in our lives. I try to be the grandma trans femme that I need. I love us in all our magnificence and in all our mess. Trans femmes change this world.”

Hawes-Tingey may best be known for her race for mayor of Midvale against incumbent Robert Hale, earning over 40 percent of the vote. She began her foray into politics through organizing a petition to stop Utah’s fight against same-sex marriage, collecting 37,000 signatures. She subsequently ran for the state legislature, city council (losing by a mere 143 votes), and became a delegate for Bernie Sanders at the 2016 DNC. She is the chair of the Transgender Inclusion Project, legislative liaision for the Utah Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, co-chair of the Women’s State Legislative Council of Utah, vice chair of the Community Council of Midvale, and on the board of directors of the Utah Stonewall Democrats.

In short, she is a leader and active participant in many organizations that matter to her.

“Transgender people can be and often are integral parts of our community,” she said. “Having made a number of connections with our elected officials, I make myself a resource on issues facing both my geographic community and the transgender community; but I have also created a pooling resource for transgender people seeking elective office to help each other out, because ultimately we need a seat at the table.”

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Transgender Utahns work for visibility,

Crystal Legionaires

Joni Weiss

Alex Florence

SHE/HER, THEY/THEM

SHE/HER/THEY/THEM

HE, HIM, HIS

Legionaires is a student worker at Weber State University Debate and is part of the Mormon #MeToo movement.

She has spoken at Protect LDS Children events, Trans Day of Revenge, and the Weber State Diversity Conference. I was an “uninvited speaker” at the Saturday afternoon session of the LDS General conference in April, where twenty minutes into the session she shouted, “stop protecting sexual predators.”

She was on many local and national news outlets after that.

She has also protested Trump’s election.

“I’m an advocate especially for those in the Mormon or ex-mormon trans community who want justice for the harm done to them. I’m an outspoken activist that seeks to stop harm and bring visibility to issues that harm trans people,” they said.

Watch for more from Crystal coming the week this issue is out.

Weiss is on the board of directors of TEA of Utah and the planning committees for 1-to-5 Club Utah, Sage Utah, and the new Utah Pride Center Program for Our Queer History.

She is a former member of Utah Pride Center Board from 2009-12 and founder of Trans Utah, now part of TEA of Utah.

“As a Utah Pride Center board member and VP of its TransAction program, I was one of a small handful of folks who made the first Trans March happen, which is now part of the annual Pride March,” she said. “I also got the Pride Festival to add the Bi+ community as well.

For several years she managed lists of trans-friendly medical and mental health professionals, vetted by community members.

Florence is involved with the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire and is past Emperor and currently a member of the College of Monarchs.

He has helped with Encircle, a non-profit organization that is based out of Provo, and has spoken at their Monday night program called “Elevate” to share his story to educate and provide support to the community.

For the last four years, he has been on a panel at the University of Utah for second-year medical students to discuss trans healthcare issues and to share his personal stories. He has also spoken at social science classes at Weber State University and was a keynote speaker for the Ogden Pride Soirée.

“By being open about my journey, I have been given many opportunities to speak to the public,” he said. “Through these speaking engagements, I am able to make connections with individuals and families who are on the same path, or seeking guidance and support with their own journey. I am grateful that they feel comfortable to discuss their personal stories with me. “

Of course there are many other transgender Utahns who should be on these pages, including some very well-known names. These are the people who responded to our questions and we’d love to include others in future issues.

Andi Crenshaw, aka London Skies SHE/HER/HERS.

Crenshaw works predominantly with the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire, earning the Miss Gay Utah XXXV title and is the current Lady to the 43rd Reign and True Beauty to the Prince.

She has volunteered with the Utah Pride Center, and has volunteered and performed at Utah Pride and Moab Pride four years running. This will be her second year returning to the stage for the Equality Utah Allies Dinner. She has also been part of Trans-Giving and numerous trans marches and protests.

“I believe that my biggest contribution to the trans community in Utah is my voice as a performer and my visibility as a trans woman and entertainer.

I try to bring awareness where ever I go,” she said. “I have been very blessed in my travels to meet many individuals of all different backgrounds and speak to them about trans issues and their views, thoughts and feelings. Many times after shows I’ve had the privilege of people coming up to me and speaking about their own struggles with gender identity and their stories.

I’ve also received many messages from parents of trans children, people struggling with gender dysphoria, and people just inquiring about transgender life.”

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equality

Ann Pack

Sean Childers-Gray

Dominique Storni

Kathi Lake

SHE/HER/HERS

HE|HIM|HIS

SHE/HER/HERS

SHE/HER/HERS

Pack is a member and volunteer of many local organizations, including Affirmation LGBTQ Mormons, Families, & Friends, Encircle: LGBTQ+ Family & Youth Resource Center, Mormons Building Bridges, and NorthStar. She is currently a board member of the Zions Bancorporation Diversity Council.

She has volunteered also for Love Loud and the Equality Utah Allies Dinner.

“I would say the largest contribution I am making to Utah’s transgender community is staying in the Mormon church and meeting and talking with church members and leaders,” she said. “I understand that, for many transgender individuals, it is not safe or healthy to stay in the church. I do it because I have wonderful friends and neighbors in my ward and I feel I can make a bigger difference within the church rather than outside the church. This does not mean that I am not upset by what some of the leaders of the church have said. I have been extremely hurt and upset by church leaders. I choose not to let church leaders (or anyone else for that matter) dictate my choices.”

Childers-Gray calls himself a father, educator, student, graphic designer, advocate, and trans man.

He is a doctoral student at City University of Seattle in Leadership in Higher Education with an emphasis on Nonprofit Leadership.

He was Emperor 17 of the Imperial Rainbow Court of Northern Utah and is on its Board of Directors – College of Monarchs President & Transgender Representative to Reign 18 He is currently a board member of Ogden Pride Inc. and is a proud member of his kid’s PTA. He recently took his case, along with Angie Rice, to the Utah Supreme Court after being denied a gender-marker change.

“When I was denied my request for gender marker change, I was lost, overwhelmed with frustration, and angry. I had no idea what to do, but I knew I didn’t want to give up. Standing in front of that judge to be denied on appeal, the second time didn’t break me, it fired me up and I knew then and there I wasn’t going to stop fighting,” he said. “I know my fight doesn’t affect everyone, as our journeys are 100% unique, but if me taking the fight to the top could help more than myself, then I know I am doing it for the right reason.

It’s stressful, financially burdening, and quite triggering to head into any situation like mine. I just hope that the outcomes bring relief and dignity to others.”

Storni is one of those who you will see working her ass off in the background to make things happen. As early as the Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah in the 90s, to sWerve, the Gender Consortium, Queer Lounge, GLAAD Utah, the Utah Gay Rodeo Association, Utah Pride, Genderevolution, and Affirmation, she has had a hand in almost every queer organization in the state.

In 2002, she was cofounder of the Transgender Education and Awareness Month and the Transgender Day of Remembrance.

She has helped educate bothe cis- and trans-gender people, helped many transgender people transition and has been a kind of a spiritual leader among her peers.

She is currently heavily active in the Burning Man community.

Lake is humble in being asked to be part of this list, saying her only “claim to fame” is in helping a friend (Sue Robbins) realize early in her journey that it was okay to be who you are, and that if you accepted yourself many others would follow suit — even here in stodgy Utah.

“I’d say that mine is a quiet advocacy. I’m not shouting on the steps of the capitol. I’m walking on the streets of Utah.

I’ve talked with parents of trans children, letting them know what to expect — and more importantly — that it’s going to be okay. I dress up and go out and about as Kathi to show people that we’re not the scary freaks that some portray us to be. I let people see me and talk with me and hopefully realize that, ‘Hey — this is a real person. One I may not agree with, but one I can respect.’ While it’s true that the world needs those willing to fight for our rights, I feel the world also needs examples that we are the boy or girl next door.

That we are real and genuine.

That our lives have value and meaning. That we are worthy of love.”

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My boss fired me from my funeral home job for being transgender In 2013, a district court ruled the funeral home was protected by the Religious Freedom Restoration Act. On appeal, a federal appeals court ruled this March that her boss was wrong to fire her. Now a U.S. Supreme Court with a new justice will hear the case.

BY AIMEE STEPHENS

I was in

funeral services for nearly three decades before I was fired in 2013 for being transgender. In March, a federal appeals court agreed that it was wrong to fire me just because of who I am. Now, the Supreme Court will consider whether to review that court ruling.

While studying to be a pastor in college, I needed a job, and I found one in a funeral home. There are a lot of different ministries people can pursue, and I realized comforting people during one of the most vulnerable points in their lives was my ministry. Some of my coworkers became my closest friends.

It meant a lot to me that one co-worker once trusted me to handle the funeral arrangements for a family member.

My performance reviews were always positive. For the nearly seven years I worked specifically at R.G. & G.R. Harris Funeral Homes, I received regular raises, including one just a few months before I was fired.

Deciding to share my identity with my employer followed a lifelong journey PHOTO: CHARLES WILLIAM KELLY, ACLU

to understand my gender. I knew, from around five years old, that I was different, even though there was no internet to help make sense of what was going on with me. As a child, I would swipe some of mom’s clothes as she was discarding them. It was nice to wear them and feel like the real version of myself, even for a just a few minutes.

My whole life, I tried to live as a man.

Eventually, I told my wife Donna the truth: I am a woman. She encouraged me to see a therapist, who I expected to tell me something was wrong with me. But after a few sessions, she told me there was nothing wrong with me. In fact, she helped me think through the steps I could take to become more comfortable expressing myself.

It started with going grocery shopping dressed as a woman, and then going out to eat with Donna. I remember when we first walked into a restaurant. Everybody naturally looked up to see who was coming in. There were no comments from anyone, and I felt relief. The more time I spent being me, the more I finally started feeling right.

There were rough patches — like being shunned from our church. I was worried about family members and how they would take the information about my identity. So was Donna. But both our families have been more understanding than either of us could have expected.

It took longer to talk to my coworkers. One day, in November 2012, I felt that I couldn’t go any further. I couldn’t come out at work — I had overheard coworkers make derogatory remarks at times and I didn’t feel I could face them. But I also couldn’t keep living two lives. I felt ready to kill myself, because I couldn’t think of a way out.

After a long hour, I realized I had too much to live for. I put down the gun that had been in my hand and picked up a pen. I started writing a letter to my co-workers, a letter that I would eventually hand to my boss.

The first coworkers I told were ready to support me, which made me feel so much better. A few months later, I handed my boss the letter while sitting in the chapel of the funeral home. It said that after an upcoming vacation, I would

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start using the name Aimee and following the home’s dress code requirements for women. My boss didn’t say anything at the time A couple weeks later, he came up to me and said, “This isn’t going to work.”

He handed me a letter with a severance package.

I had given almost seven years of my life to the funeral home, offering countless families comfort when they needed it most. Being discarded so coldly was hard to understand. With the help of the ACLU, I sued my former employer for discrimination.

My case made its way up, and when the federal appeals court said this past March that what happened to me was both wrong and illegal, I started to see that not only did I have the support of my wife Donna and many of our family and friends, something not all transgender people have — but I had the support of the law.

I brought this lawsuit in part to extend that support to all transgender people. No one should be fired because of who they are. I hope the Supreme Court sees the same. Q

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18

season

19

artists of ballet west | photo by beau pearson

Single Tickets on Sale Now! 801·869·6900 | balletwest . org

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Transgender male teens are most likely youth to attempt suicide Gender identity strongly influences the likelihood a teen will attempt suicide, a new study finds.

Nearly 14 percent of teens who participated in a survey reported trying to kill themselves, with transgender teens reporting the highest rates of suicide attempts. Among female-to-male teens, the language the study uses for transgender male teens, more than half, 50.8 percent, said they’d tried to take their lives, according to the study, published Tuesday in the journal Pediatrics.

“Gender identity is one’s own understanding of being male, female, neither, or both,” Russell B. Toomey, lead author of the study and an associate professor of family studies and human development at the University of Arizona, wrote.

For most people, their sense of being male or female aligns with what’s listed on their birth certificate, he said. However, “a smaller proportion of the population identifies as transgender, which includes people whose internal sense of gender identity” is not consistent with their gender at birth.

Discrimination, victimization, and rejection The new study is based on data from the Profiles of Student Life: Attitudes and Behaviors survey produced by Search Institute, a Minneapolis-based nonprofit focused on youth issues. The survey includes self-reported responses from 120,617 people between the ages of 11 and 19, beginning in June 2012 and ending in May 2015.

The sample included 202 teens who identified as male-to-female transgender, 175 who were female-to-male transgender and 344 not exclusively male or female transgender, also called nonbinary. About 0.9 percent of the surveyed teens — 1,052 — reported questioning or not being sure of their gender identity.

Among the survey questions: “Have you ever tried to kill yourself?”

More than 14 percent, 17,007 respondents, said they had, which is in line with other research, Toomey and his colleagues wrote.

In addition to high rates of suicide attempts among female-to-male transgender respondents, 41.8 percent of adolescents who identified as neither male nor female said they’d attempted suicide; 29.9 percent of male-to-female transgender respondents, 27.9 percent of questioning adolescents, 17.6 percent of females identifying as female and 9.8 percent of males identifying as male responded the same, the study found.

Toomey believes that “research is critically needed” to understand why suicide attempts are highest among transmasculine (female-to-male youth) and nonbinary youth (neither male nor female).

What is known is that transgender teens are more likely “to experience discrimination, victimization, and rejection, which are all associated with increased risk for suicidal behaviors,” he said. “Other research suggests that the lack of connection and belonging, as well as feeling like a burden to society, are key predictors of suicidal behavior.”

Family support is a game-changer, Toomey said: When transgender youth feel that support, “they are more likely to thrive and exhibit similar levels of psychological functioning” as their peers.

Impulsivity and inhibition Heather Huszti, chief psychologist at Children’s Hospital of Orange County in California, said the numbers are generally higher in all populations that “have increased stigma attached to them — or a lack of understanding.”

Feeling marginalized, stigmatized and isolated also “leads a lot of kids to that level of hopelessness and helplessness, which is one of the things that can fuel depression and substance use,” said Huszti, who was not involved in the new

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study. She added that “substance use and depression together can also make you more at risk for suicide.”

Huszti said suicide is “the second leading cause of death” among teens.

Why are teens so vulnerable?

“That’s the million-dollar question, because we’re seeing those rates rise,” Huszti said.

“They’re very impulsive,” she said.

“For adolescents, in particular, a large percentage — I think it’s like 50% to 60% — make an attempt within 30 minutes of having the idea. Their brain isn’t developed enough.”

Substance users “might be a little more inclined to be disinhibited,” she said.

Lacking the ability to access resources is another key factor. Although adults can simply choose to see a counselor, “as a teen, you might have to say to your parents, ‘I need to go and see a therapist.’ ” “It’s probably also somewhat hormonal,” Huszti said, explaining that a leap in the numbers of females experiencing depression occurs “around the time they hit puberty, and they have a lifetime greater risk of depression than do males.”

Carl Tishler, an adjunct associate professor of psychology and psychiatry at The Ohio State University, said the study’s finding of a comparatively higher rate of attempted suicide among transgender youth “speaks to confusion.”

“These are young people who are not clear who they are on the outside versus who they are on the inside,” said Tishler, who was not involved in the research.

“We, as professionals and parents and teachers and coaches, have to pay close attention to these young people.” Q

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More than AnwithInterview Transgender meets ‘Transformer’ the eye Janae Kroc

as her documentary becomes available to stream

BY MIKEY ROX

You don’t

mess with Janae Kroc. One look at her and you’ll see why.

Born Matthew Raymond Kroczaleski, Janae — the transgender subject of the award-winning documentary Transformer — is a former Marine who made a name for herself (as Matt) as a competitive powerlifter and bodybuilder. In 2009, she set the male world record in the 220-pound weight class lifting 2,551 pounds. And while she’s not as powerful as she used to be, in the physical sense at least, she can still squash you like a bug: Last year, 18 months into her estrogen therapy, Janae lifted 210 pounds for 10 reps and deadlifted 605 pounds.

Recently, she has accelerated her transition from male to female, an evolution a decade-plus in the making, which has come with its own set of challenges.

In this interview, Janae opens up her new documentary (streaming now); the discrimination she’s faced since coming out; how the bodybuilding community has both shunned and embraced her; raising three well-adjusted, supportive sons (she and their mother divorced as a result of her coming out); the long, costly road to gender-reassignment surgery; and how some burdens weigh more than any barbell she’s ever touched.

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Janae — as Matt, you were a world champion powerlifter, badass bodybuilder, and a spokesperson for dietary supplement brand MuscleTech. You revealed in your new documentary Transformer, which screened at Miami’s OUTshine Film Festival earlier this year, that you lost the latter gig after coming out as transgender. How did that happen? MuscleTech actually found out that I was transgender several months before I was outed publicly. They had been sent some old pictures from my Facebook page, which was private at the time, and called me to ask if it was true. I immediately confirmed that it was and that, yes, I was in fact transgender and had been very open about it for years. They told me they were having a board meeting concerning this and would let me know their decision in a few days. When they contacted me again they were very clear that the reason they were letting me go was because of me being transgender. They immediately pulled all of my content from their websites and media advertising, canceled all of my scheduled appearances for the remainder of the year, and informed me they would not be renewing my contract. They stated that while they were very happy with the job I had done for them over the previous eight years and really liked me as a person they felt that it would be very bad PR for them and it would hurt sales, especially overseas in the more conservative cultures.

What’s your take on this, and is there any recourse for what amounts to blatant discrimination? While this was clearly discrimination and I would have been protected under Canadian law had I chosen to pursue legal action [MuscleTech is based in Toronto], the job I was hired to do for them was very different than most. They had hired me solely to represent their products and to be one of the faces of their company. That was my job for them and what they were paying me to do. Even though I was shocked and I felt they made a very poor decision, the way I saw this was that if they didn’t want their company represented by a transgender person then that was their prerogative. I do feel that they missed a huge opportunity to do the right thing and that this will come back to haunt them in the future, but I chose not to pursue legal action against them.

You’re in a similar position as Caitlyn Jenner being a world champion record and

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medal holder. When she was transitioning, there was a petition to revoke her Olympic medals because “Bruce” had won them and not Caitlyn. Ultimately the IOC took no action in that regard, but how do you feel about that personally? I feel that entire premise is absurd and merely a veil for extreme bigotry. Of course Caitlyn should be allowed to keep her medals, and anything I had accomplished in my life prior to transition was still achieved by me and I still deserve whatever accolades go along with those accomplishments.

Do you feel like Matt is a separate person from Janae? I see Matt as simply a part of who I am. All of the traits I possessed as Matt that allowed me to achieve the

things I did are still within me. Matt was simply a limited version of who I am; he was just a portion of who I am today. I will say that there are certainly differences between Matt and Janae, and my reactions to certain situations are markedly different now than they would have been in the past, but I still don’t view him as a separate person. I still lived through all of those experiences and they helped shape me into the person I am today. I see my current self as the evolution of who I am, and I am still evolving all the time.

You came out to your three boys 13 years ago when they were young, and they’re each very well adjusted to your transition.

That, for me, was probably the best part of Transformer — seeing how they interact with and accept you as you are. But have

they always been so accepting? Were there any times when they pushed back, and how did you overcome that? Everyone is always shocked to hear this but it is the absolute truth: They have always been 100 percent supportive and accepting of who I am.

Since I told them at such a young age, they had not yet been conditioned by society to view being transgender as a bad thing, so to them it was just another aspect of who I am. And since I never demonstrated any shame or gave them any reason to view it negatively, they have never had any reason to see it as something bad.

Have they encountered any bullying as a result of the film? How have they dealt with

that? Before I was outed publicly, we had discussed for many years the potential of me being outed and how they might be affected by that and how we should handle it. It was my biggest concern and why I had not come fully out publicly sooner.

Fortunately, nothing has really changed for them. Some of their friends have asked questions or joked about it and we have heard rumors about other parents saying nasty things about me, but no one has ever said anything to our faces and they have not faced any discrimination as a result. I am also fortunate that all three of my boys are very secure in who they are, and any teasing from other kids does not have much of an effect on them. I think they have seen how I have handled all of the hate directed toward me and

36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | TRANSGENDER AWARENESS

that has helped them to develop a similar attitude toward what other people might say or do. We recognize that when people say horrible things about me, it really says a lot more about them as a person than it does me.

You revealed yourself as Janae to your mom for the first time in the documentary, and naturally she was anxious about it. I read on your Instagram, though, that she actually decided on your female name. I’m guessing you asked her to do that. Did that help her along her path to acceptance The truth is my mom didn’t actually pick my

for my mom, and I try to keep in mind what kind of person she is. She does not handle any type of change well, and her primary coping mechanism is avoidance so this behavior is to be expected of her.

I also feel bad because I know that still living in the small town where I grew up, she has had to endure a lot because of me coming out. People will walk up to her and say nasty things about me, and even her own mother — my grandma — has told my mom that it’s her fault for not instilling more religion in me. I try to keep those things in mind, but I also know that

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Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

that feels really good to know. I think, like my mom, he’ll eventually come around, but it will take some pushing from my end. We’ll see if he actually does “freak” when he meets Janae for the first time. [Laughs] You touched briefly on your sexual orientation in the film, expressing that you’re still attracted to women but open to dating a man. Can you explain that? Like my gender identity, my sexual orientation is somewhat blurry. I have always been very attracted to women and still am. I have never really found men attractive, but as a woman it does feel very natural to be in the feminine role with a man. I am open to dating whomever I feel a strong connection to, and it really has more to do with who they are as a person than their gender or genitals.

Are you dating? Currently I am not dating, but I have recently met someone that I am very interested in. We actually met at the film festival in Toronto. We are still getting to know each other so who knows what will happen, but I will say that I could see this having long-term potential. I guess time will tell.

name per se, but she did have a hand in helping me to decide on Janae. Janae was the name my mom had picked for me had I been born female. She told me that when I was a child and it always stuck with me. I thought it was a pretty name and unique, so when the time came to decide on a new name, Janae was the obvious choice for me.

What’s your relationship like with your mom today Unfortunately not much has changed. She has still only seen me as Janae the one time you see in the film. I have not gone to the family Christmas or other holiday celebrations in years as it’s clear that she’s concerned that my presence will make other people uncomfortable. I know this has been very difficult

deep down she loves me — and that will never change. I think she will eventually come around, but it’s going to take me pushing her a bit to get her there.

In the documentary, your dad, who you admitted was rather absent during your upbringing, said some pretty offensive but fairly typical things about your situation, specifically that he would “freak” if he saw you as Janae. Has that happened? My dad still hasn’t seen me as Janae yet, although that may change soon. Like my relationship with my mom, not much has really changed since the footage in the film was shot. He still hopes I’ll change my mind and thinks this is a mistake. However, he has said that no matter what happens he still wants me to be a part of his life, so

If I may be more personal, has your hormone regimen affected to which gender you’re more or less attracted? They did not have any effect on who I am attracted to, although my body and self-perception have changed; the idea of dating men has become a more realistic possibility. As a male I had no interest in men whatsoever but as a woman I am at least open to the idea.

You attended a local powerlifting competition in the film where a young straight male fan that idolized you praised you for your courage in coming out as transgender. I was blown away, frankly. That seems rather atypical given the often-toxic masculinity associated with this sport, so how did that encounter feel? Does that sort of thing happen often? Actually, there has been a lot more support from the powerlifting world than most people would expect given the sport’s reputation for an overabundance of testosterone, and I deeply appreciate every single person that has stood by me. Overall I would say the reaction to my coming out has been 50–50. About half of the community has been extremely supportive just like the

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guy you see in the film, and the other half has been more or less like most people would expect. I have had people message me privately to tell me they have burned the posters that I signed for them previously and other crazy things like that.

The responses on public forums when I came out were even worse, but it was also mixed with a lot of people supporting me against the transphobic bigots. The women of the strength-training community have actually been my biggest allies, and I can’t thank them enough for welcoming me into their sisterhood and supporting me the way they do.

You have really amazing bodybuilding friends — big, macho dudes — who have not only accepted you but seem to be incredibly compassionate and open with you.

Did you expect that? When I first started coming out to my friends a little over 10 years ago, the process was extremely difficult and I was very unsure of what to expect. I was afraid they wouldn’t understand and that I would lose a lot of friends, but as I told them one by one, every single one of them has stuck by me and supported me 100 percent. I am very fortunate to have such good friends and so many close relationships. I think it helped that I was very open and honest and allowed myself to be vulnerable with them. They could see I was being sincere and how difficult it was for me. I think it speaks volumes about the quality of friends I have, and for that I will be forev-

er thankful.

In the film, you talked about how cost-prohibitive gender reassignment surgery is.

Where are you at in the transition process? For the average adult trans woman to fully transition, it can often cost up to $100,000, and for trans men, even more.

Personally, I have already spent $70,000 to $80,000, and I am still not finished. I am in the process of scheduling my bottom surgery right now and hope to get that done as soon as possible, but realistically it will probably be at least late this year or early next year before I am able to make that happen. Fortunately, more and more insurances in the United States are covering transgender surgeries and I really hope that trend continues.

As far as other procedures go, I am definitely going to look more into hair transplant surgery as not having to wear a wig would be huge for me. With my active lifestyle and love for the water, wigs just aren’t practical, and without one on it becomes very difficult for me to present as female with my very short and very thin hair. I am still very interested in breast augmentation surgery, but as long as I remain very muscular it is difficult to achieve a natural look so for now I am holding off on that. I also may revisit vocal feminization surgery at some point as the results from my first surgery aren’t as good as I was hoping. While my voice has definitely improved, I still view it as being more masculine than feminine and

typically get read as male over the phone.

The only other thing I would like to add in regard to my transition is that I also still identify as gender fluid and non-binary and my gender presentation varies from day to day. Some days I present completely feminine, but at other times more masculine. I continue to move in a more feminine direction, but it’s difficult to say where exactly I will end up and whether or not I will complete what most people would view as a full transition.

Post-bodybuilding career, what are you goals now As far as my training is concerned I still want to remain muscular and strong but lean and not quite as big as I was previously. I still waffle somewhat about whether or not to drop a significant amount of weight and transition into a more “athletic look” but for now that is on hold.

In regard to my overall life, I hope to continue speaking publicly about transgender and gender non-conforming people and the issues we face. I also hope to continue empowering women, especially those that are interested in pursuing strength sports, and do my best to promote equality as an intersectional feminist. Professionally, I hope to achieve enough financial independence to allow me to pursue those goals full time. Q Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He spends his time writing from the beach with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Twitter @mikeyrox.

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Qsaltlake.com |

CONCERTS

Tony’s Gay Agenda

BY TONY HOBDAY

At only 33 years of age, LILY ALLEN’s lead a whirlwind life.

The London-born singer-songwriter, author, blogger, and bisexual high-school dropout speaks her mind and takes absolutely no shit from anyone. So my guess is her live performances are nothing less than a tawdry —how fabulous! Allen’s melodies are influenced by the jazz improvisation techniques of American singers Blossom Dearie and Ella Fitzgerald.

Renowned tenor ANDREA BOCELLI will give a public performance for the first time in Salt Lake City. The Grammy nominee and Golden Globe winner, who became blind in his youth, is known for recording dozens of pop and classical albums and has sold more than 90 million records worldwide. Plus, he makes beautiful babies: See his son Matteo if you need a visual — highly recommended.

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SUNDAY — LILY ALLEN

The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 8 p.m. Tickets $34.50-39, thecomplexslc.com

SATURDAY — ANDREA BOCELLI Vivint Smart Home Arena, 536 W. 100 South, 7:30 p.m. Tickets $129-880, ticketmaster.com

DANCE

BALLET WEST’s Jewels (tehehe!) showcases George Balanchine’s masterful choreography in a radiant triple bill.

Known as the first abstract full-length work, this beautiful ballet is presented in three acts — each one creating a different mood. “Emeralds”, set to the lush music of Gabriel Faure, evokes the hushed intrigue and romance of the French courts. “Rubies” — a high-velocity romp to Igor Stravinsky’s fast-paced, jazz-infused score, mirrors the carefree spontaneity of 1920’s New York. “Diamonds” is Balanchine’s dazzling tribute to the Imperial Russian Ballet and work of Marius Petipa with the music of Peter Tchaikovsky.

Performed by SALT CONTEMPORARY DANCE, a Utah-based company of classically trained, artistically versatile dancers, the chilling tale of The Bridge unfolds through stunning choreography by Brendan Duggan, 2017 winner of the WMU National Choreography Competition.

Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

DOYEN intertwines Expressionistic and Gaga-influenced dance, percussive voice and musical composition. “Doyen” is a French-rooted word that refers to a highly-skilled and respected veteran in a particular field. In this work, they explore the psychological and physical inner-workings of individuals of vast knowledge, experience, and power, both independently and as a group. Energetically displayed in handmade face masks and elaborate costume, voice, live music, and physical movement, DOYEN displays the oscillation of emotional control, psychological impulse, internal compulsion, and outward expression of each chief’s deep-rooted experiences.

Utah is home to a rich and diverse culture that can trace its origins to almost every country on earth. REPERTORY DANCE THEATRE celebrates diversity in movement inspired by rituals, work and warrior dances, and steps performed at gatherings for centuries. Mosaic features RDT along with guest artist performing traditional work from Utah’s ethnic communities.

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FRIDAY — JEWELS

Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, times vary, through Nov. 10. Tickets $30-87, artsaltlake.org

THURSDAY — THE BRIDGE

Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidential Cir., UofU, 7:30 p.m., through Saturday. Tickets $20-25, kingsburyhall. utah.edu

FRIDAY — DOYEN

Regent Street Black Box, Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main St., 7:30 p.m., through Saturday. Tickets $15, artsaltlake.org

THURSDAY — MOSAIC Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 7:30 p.m., through Saturday. Tickets $30, artsaltlake.org

MOVIES In Boy Erased, the son of a Baptist preacher is forced to participate in a church-supported gay conversion program after being forcibly outed to his parents.

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FRIDAY — BOY ERASED Broadway Centre Cinemas, 445 S. 400 West, times vary. Tickets $6.75-9.25, saltlakefilmsociety.com

SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS With sardonic wit and incisive social critiques, DAVID SEDARIS has become one of America’s pre-eminent humor writers. He is the master of satire and one of today’s most observant writers addressing the human condition. Beloved for his personal essays and short stories, Sedaris is the author of Barrel Fever, Holidays on Ice, Naked, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls, and Theft

By Finding: Diaries (1977-2002).

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SUNDAY — AN EVENING WITH DAVID SEDARIS

Delta Performance Hall, Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main St., 7 p.m. Tickets $25-52.50, artssaltlake.org

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A play about gay intimacy is coming to Utah direct from Off-Broadway The first regional production of S. Asher Gelman’s Afterglow since it closed its off-Broadway run August 12 will be here in Salt Lake City, produced by the Utah Repertory Theater Company Afterglow is a raw, one-act play exploring the emotional, intellectual, and physical connections between three men and the broader implications within their relationships in a way that Pride called “necessary in the modern era.”

“After seeing the show in New York, I knew this was a show I wanted to keep my eye on it, and see if I could bring it to Utah,” says Johnny Hebda, founder and director of development for Utah Rep. “[Utah State] Sen. Jim Dabakis recommended that our company stage the play, so I reached out to the production company and the playwright and they were excited to bring their

the bookworm sez

BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

Trans Figured: My Journey From Boy to Girl to Woman to Man

BY BRIAN BELOVITCH C.2018, SKYHORSE PUBLISHING, INC., $24.99, 232 PAGES

It’s not a good fit.

You saw it and loved it, but now you know the truth: it’s too small or too large. Too brassy or too muted. It’s the wrong color or the wrong neighborhood or just not you.

It doesn’t fit because maybe, as in the new memoir Trans Figured by Brian Belovitch, it’s the wrong gender.

In his family of almost all

work to Salt Lake City.”

“It addresses a giant elephant in the room of young gay people’s lives in the early 21st century. Without judgment or preachiness, Afterglow is a frank glimpse into the Grindr/ Tinder social media, hook-up world,” Dabakis said.

“The heart of this play envelops themes that apply to everyone: relationships, love, trust, vulnerability, communication, hope, dating and domesticity in the digital age, and risk.

It is beautiful, and it is tragic,” says director Josh Patterson. “I wouldn’t say elements of this play apply to any one group or another because that would distract from the fact that the whole play applies to who we all are on a very basic human level.”

Afterglow will feature Johnny Hebda in the role of Josh, A.J. Neuschwander as Alex, and Sterling Allen as Darius. The play is directed by Patterson

with assistant direction by JayC Stoddard.

Afterglow playwright, S. Asher Gelman will be in attendance opening weekend and will present a master class Saturday, Nov. 17, from 2–5 p.m. that is free and open to those interested in playwriting

and how to bring your play from the page to the stage.

Afterglow contains explicit sexual content, strong language, and full nudity and is only for mature audiences. Q

boys, Brian Belovitch stood out because he lacked something his brothers had in abundance: hypermasculinity. Belovitch was soft and “chubby” with curls and long eyelashes and was often mistaken for a little girl as a preschooler, which was just fine with him. He enjoyed his femininity, even though he knew that it would get him a beating — if not from his brothers, then from his father.

Even as a young child, Belovitch says, he was overly-curious about sex, and especially about the male body.

He recognized early that girls held “no interest” but boys were another matter. He was in fourth grade when he had his first sexual encounter, with a slightly older male classmate.

By his early teens, Belovitch had discovered alcohol and shoplifting. He’d run away a few times, visiting gay clubs near his Rhode Island home.

After a traumatic coming-out to his family, he moved in with a man he considered his first real friend; it was through Paulie that Belovitch met a community of trans women.

And that was when “Natalia” was born with “great joy.”

She was beautiful, sexy, “my own special creation,” says Belovitch of himself as a trans woman. As Natalia, she was the toast of New York, a model and actress thanks to hormones, silicones, pilfered clothing, and a desperate need for love. Belovitch got married as Natalia, and divorced; she led him to prostitution, heroin, cocaine, alcohol, HIV, and an attempted suicide. He was Natalia when he reached out to friends and sought therapy. As Natalia, he took “a… look at the direction in which my life was heading.”

Natalia had to go.

Toward the end of this totally frank memoir, Belovitch says

that if it wasn’t for the AIDS epidemic, his “story would be as common as salt.” Readers may find that arguable, since Trans Formed goes well beyond unique.

Beware, though, that it’s going to put you through the wringer. Belovitch is completely open about the abuse he experienced, and his recounting can be graphic. Beware where you read this book, because it contains nudity inside. Also know that nostalgia for the 1970s may hit you but that’s going to include a breathlessly steep plunge into memories of cocaine, promiscuity, and epidemic.

Still, without giving too much away, there’s a happy ending to this memoir, one that manages to educate readers as it oddly entertains them with stories of times past. It’s a happy ending well-deserved and well-told and, considering the overall uncommonness of Trans Figured, it fits. Q

Runs Nov. 16–Dec. 2 at the Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center Studio Theater.

Tickets are $20/person, available through arttix.org.

M

M

Y

Y

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Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

‘Afterglow’ playwright: show’s nudity not a gimmick

BY S. ASHER GELMAN

Five years

ago, I fell in love; it nearly destroyed my marriage. Last year, that experience, which caused me and my husband a great deal of pain, inspired me to write my first play, Afterglow, which opened off-Broadway at the beginning of summer, 2017 and ran for 14 months before closing this past August.

If you’ve heard anything about Afterglow, it’s most likely that the play features a lot of nudity. This is not simply a gimmick. As the director and playwright, I felt that to tell a story that is so much about sex and sexuality while simultaneously being ashamed of showing sex and sexuality felt completely disingenuous to the play. It is intended to be a sex-positive piece, highlighting the

value of communication within all types of relationships. The show is an exploration of a lot of the issues queer men are facing in our quest for true connection.

The play opens moments after a threesome. Josh and Alex, a married couple in an open relationship, have invited Darius into their bed one night. When a new intimate connection begins to form, all three men must come to terms with their individual definitions of love, loyalty and trust as futures are questioned, relationships are shaken and commitments are challenged.

Though it does explore the issue, the play does not take a stance on monogamy versus non-monogamy. The conversation needs to be about whether or not monogamy is important to the individual members of a relationship, even if it takes them to an uncomfortable place. Personally, I am a huge supporter of non-monogamy: My husband and I have been together for almost nine years, open for the past four, and our marriage is the strongest it’s ever been. Ultimately, as long as people are being honest and aren’t hurting each other, they should be able to design their relationships

however they see fit.

The piece is, innately, queer, but not exclusively. You won’t find any of the traditionally gay tropes in Afterglow; there is no mention of HIV/AIDS, coming out, discrimination or even sexual identity (the characters are, obviously, men who have sex with men, but no one ever mentions being gay or bi or queer or whatever – they just exist). While these stories are such an important part of our queer collective history, we should be able to tell other stories as well.

Afterglow is intended to be a universally accessible piece told through a queer experience. There is no “inside joke” here that straight audiences won’t get; the experience discussed here is, simply, a human one, designed to encourage discussion.

So, I encourage you to find a friend, a lover, a spouse, a family member, whoever, and come share an hour and a half with Josh, Alex, and Darius, and, when it’s over, go sit somewhere and have a talk.

In closing: Come for the dick; stay for the drama. Q

November 1, 2018 |

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Issue 287 | Qsaltlake.com

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Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

spotlight

Trans singer Shea Diamond moved prisoners with her music while in jail. Now, the world.

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

Even in

prison, Shea Diamond was a star. The concrete floor her stage, the men her audience. And the acoustics? “The best,” Diamond says.

The 40-year-old soul songstress stretched her body over the hard ground, beating it while singing a song she wrote in her cell called “I Am Her.” She was

Matter event. Now, Diamond’s empowered jail musings are free at last on her Tranter-produced debut EP, Seen It All, and a forthcoming full-length.

Do you think the world is ready for a major trans artist? Definitely not, but the world wasn’t ready for Einstein and his theories either. The world wasn’t ready for equality and wasn’t ready for slaves to be free. So, the world isn’t always ready for change, but change is always going to happen.

How does it feel to know that you are a part of the change? It feels absolutely amazing to be a part of the change. In this climate, it’s especially important to be a part of the solution and not a part of the problem, so music is able to tap into the areas that we weren’t able to tap into. We were definitely on the frontlines protesting, marching and community organizing, and at the end of the day, if people are jamming to a tune, then we will be able to effect more change.

When did you first become interested in music? I grew up with a lot of music. My aunties all sang, my mother sings. I grew up with someone always singing.

serving a 10-year jail sentence at various men’s correctional facilities in Michigan for committing armed robbery, a desperate attempt to fund her transition, and “instead of just counting the days and wondering what day it is, I put all the energy into music.” The men were transfixed, moved. “These guys were singing it,” she says, “and asking me to sing it again.”

Diamond was released from prison in 2009 with a passel of songs she’d written, moved to New York City, and devoted her new life beyond bars to being on the front lines of transgender activism. In early 2016, out big-name producer Justin Tranter, whom she calls her “fairy godmother,” was blown away by an a cappella performance she gave at a Trans Lives

What role has music played in helping you overcome your hardships? Music was able to heal me in every moment, including my confinement. That’s when it was the roughest for me, because I didn’t have any support. So the family and friends that didn’t turn their back on me because of my gender identity, they turned their backs on me because I was a criminal in their eyes. I had to really reflect and deal with myself. I was left to myself and there was nobody else. I had to reflect and be able to internalize a lot, and so I projected a lot of that energy, both negative and positive, into music and created what at the time seemed to be like poems or just words that started with a story.

With “I Am Her,” I said, “I want to be able to express all my feelings about the church, the rejection from the church, how nobody wanted to accept me for being her,” and it talks about how, at the end of the day, I was by myself and I was all right by myself. Being trans, they wanted to punish me extra, they wanted

to discard me of yard or telephone privileges for just being me.

What did your activism entail? It entailed a lot at different times. Because there were different roles I played within activism, like survival sex worker activism — a lot of work around that. Because a lot of people wouldn’t care if (trans sex workers) got murdered because nobody would question, and so that was affecting a large part of our community. Our most marginalized part of the community is the part of our community that is deprived of job opportunities, of other resources, and have to engage in survival sex work, because sometimes it’s our only option. Survival looks different for different people, and through my journey I’ve learned that.

We were trying to gather clothing for someone who was trapped in another state, so we would have to raise money in order to get a ticket for them to get back to a safe place because they were deprived food and their clothes were taken. So these things were established within a place that was supposed to do it, but it was us doing it. That’s what our activism looked like a lot of the times, doing a lot of things that people don’t wanna do.

Our activism was protesting, was going to rallies, was going to march, was going to Washington, was going to all of these places trying to change policies. Our activism just looked completely different throughout the years.

Do you consider your music activism? I do.

In my music I believe that I touch things that people don’t really touch. I talk about what’s happening in our climate, and I believe that the great artists that weren’t so popular were the artists that were talking about what was happening in their times and speaking against those things. So everything from “I Am Her,” which became an anthem, to “Keisha Complexion,” that is reclaiming beauty for the dark-complected woman or person. It’s dealing with sexism, it’s dealing with activism, it’s dealing with self-care. There’s a part of my song that talks about, yes, we’re fighting all these things in life, there will always be oppression, but we have to have one day to just do

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us. Every element of my music is speaking to your spirit.

Recently, the people (told me they) wanna dance, so I said, “OK, OK. I’m gonna give you good music but something you’ll be able to dance to too.”

So I’m making music now. One song is still in the activism world, but you’re still dancing on it. But the latest one I just worked on has nothing to do with activism. It’s just about you literally dancing.

Are you still working with Justin on those songs? I am working with Justin. I am able to work with other writers and producers as well, so we’ve got a mixture of some really good stuff. We’ve been in the kitchen cookin’, and the result is gonna be really delicious.

How does working with another queer person, like Justin, affect the collaborative process? What’s so special about the relationship is, well, I’m working with a friend now. Literally, he’s a person I can confide in, a person I can trust, a person I can call on, a person I do call on a lot, probably to the point that it’s driving him crazy. (Laughs) But he answers every call.

Navigating this already tough music industry, you know, it’s sharks, so to have someone who is legit, to have someone who remotely cares about you, not only you as an artist — the money that you can make or what you can do — but who cares about you as a person and your well being and how you’re gonna endure this.

What was going through your mind when Justin first contacted you after hearing “I Am Her”? I completely thought it was a joke. I’ve been having people offer to sign me and to

buy my song “I Am Her” since I was incarcerated.

And why did you say no? Because for me there were other songs that were on the shopping block! (Laughs) But some songs really were near and dear to me. “I Am Her” was one of them, and the album ones; I wanted to hold onto those. So getting this email from Justin talking about, “Yeah, I wanna fly you on out to LA,” I was like, “Yeah, suuuure.” (Laughs) I just thought this is one more person that is gonna take me along for the ride. I definitely didn’t take it serious. I told him, “Look, I can’t afford to go out to California and to the studio,” and he said, “No, I’m gonna pay for your hotel.

I’m gonna pay for your flight, I’m gonna pay for your food.”

So, because we’re in the age of Google, I go on Google and turns out he’s a person.

Our first meeting was at a Cyndi Lauper performance.

That was the first meeting and I was already impressed. Then he flew me and my friend out to California. We were just like queens there. And then going into the studio for the first time — you know, a real studio — to me it was just like magic. Just being able to record “Seen It All” and just the magic of being in that space and in that moment knowing where I came from and knowing where I was in that moment and what I had accomplished despite all those odds. And that song was just perfect, of how I thought I’d seen it all, and I really hadn’t. Q Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate,. Reach him via his website at www. chris-azzopardi.com and on Twitter (@ chrisazzopardi).

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44 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku

Q doku Level: Medium

4

7 4

1 7 5

9

8

7

9

3 6

6 8 5

9 3

8 1 6 7

8 4 9 5 4

7

1

5

7

9 3 5

9

4

6 5 9

2 7 4 1 3 8

7 8

3 5

1 2 3

4

7

1

9 7 2 1 6 9 7 9 1 5 8 2 3 5 5 3 4 9 4 3 8 7 9 9 6 8 1 5 6 9 7 8 4 5 7 2 1 3 9 1 1 2 5 8 2 5 7 9 1 3 4 7 6 7 8 3 9 5 9 5 7 2 2 6 3 2 9 7 3 4 4 3 1 4

November 1, 2018 |

PUZZLES | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 45

Issue 287 | Qsaltlake.com

Puppet Love

ACROSS

1 Small quantities of lube, e.g.

5 Delany of Desperate Housewives 9 “A Boy Named Sue” singer Johnny 13 Fortune-teller’s opening 14 Famous cookie maker 15 Atop 16 Pronto, in the OR 17 Fly catcher 18 Coldcock 19 Gay puppet pair 22 Passion that rhymes with “harder” 23 Jack of Flower Drum Song 24 Minnelli’s pair, on Lesbos 27 TLC specialists 28 Sci-fi role for Rene Auberjonois 31 “Puppy Love” singer Osmond 33 Mauresmo of the courts 36 Kitchen foray 37 Kids’ TV show that features 19-Across 40 Emulated Greg Louganis 41 Homes near polar bears, perhaps 42 Planning meeting input

8 Elroy Jetson stroked him 9 ___ fan tutte 10 Fruit fly feelers 11 Apt name for a cook 12 Title for T. Baldwin 20 Emanation from Feniger’s kitchen 21 Show agreement 25 Body of soldiers 26 Site of Gay Games VI (abbr.)

29 Moore of Striptease 30 Jackie’s designer 32 Rock group?

33 On an Olivia cruise 34 Lesbos, for one 35 Thames college 37 Ingredient in highballs 38 From here to eternity 39 Friar’s affair 40 Short one 43 Kerouac’s Big ___ 45 Some like it hot 46 Rubber for your DOWN mistakes 1 Bounce from the 47 Wise counselor Eagle?

50 Imitate Dick Button 2 To the rear, when 51 James Baldwin piece, cruising e.g.

3 Women who date 53 Navratilova, by birth men who date men 55 Many a moon 4 Brief brawl 56 Quaint sigh 5 Shocking word, at the 57 More, to a minimalist time, from GWTW 58 Home st. of Harper 6 Surrounded by Lee 7 Bernstein’s staff mem- 59 Pearce of Priscilla bers fame

44 Bambi character that wasn’t horny?

45 Pro ___ (acting) 48 Billy Budd, for one 49 Bring to bear 52 Close call 54 Writer who modeled 19-Across after his relationship with Arnold Glassman 58 Worked up 60 Arthur of the AIDS Quilt 61 Magi origin 62 Former New York leather bar 63 Woolen caps 64 1963 movie role for Liz 65 Encouraging words 66 Bette Davis feature of song 67 Cabaret’s “Mein ___”

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46 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | MARKETPLACE

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

marketplace

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MARKETPLACE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 47

Issue 287 | Qsaltlake.com

COUNSELORS

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November 1, 2018 |

REAL ESTATE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 49

Issue 287 | Qsaltlake.com

q home Buying within Budget – Do LGBTQ Homebuyers Spend More?

According to studies done by Nielsen and

by Prudential, LGBTQ individuals and families tend to spend more than straight individuals and families. Some believe this is because LGBTQ individuals feel a pressure to look a certain way in order to fit in. For example, gay men often feel as if they have to be fashionable because the stereotype is that gay men dress very nicely. This often leads to a large amount of credit card debt.

According to the studies, many LGBTQ people spend their money at liquor stores and on wine. This corresponds with the fact that many young LGBTQ people often turn to alcohol and drugs to deal with their conflicting emotions about their orientation or gender identity.

But what about housing? Does this trend of spending more continue?

BUYING IN THE GAYBORHOOD Buying within Budget – Do LGBTQ Homebuyers Spend More For those who want to buy in a gay village or gayborhood, it often does. That’s because these neighborhoods are often gentrified or historic. The Castro district in San Francisco, for example, is home to some amazing properties that have been maintained over the years, thus pushing the price up. New York, especially Manhattan and other neighborhoods where LGBTQ people often live, is also highly expensive.

It’s more than housing costs, too—the price of living in these cities is also much higher.

While this isn’t true for every gay village or neighborhood, it is the case for many of them. These homes are generally more expensive due to their condition.

Those that are considered historic houses may be even more expensive.

STATES WITH LOWER COSTS OF LIVING ARE OFTEN NOT AS WELCOMING It’s easy to say that you’ll simply move to a state with a lower cost of living, but it’s not always that simple. Many of those states that do have lower costs of living are also the ones where LGBTQ people do not have as many protections.

Most of Arkansas, for example, has a

cost of living that is between 15 and 20 percent lower than the national average.

But it’s also a state that does not have hate crime laws or protections in place for LGBTQ individuals and families. The one area that is very welcoming, Eureka Springs, is also more costly.

Still, you can often find places even in the most conservative of states where you’ll be welcome, just like there are places in states with high costs of living that are more budget-friendly. Simply find a good gay or lesbian real estate agent to help you find the perfect home.

Federal Law and LGBTQ Housing Discrimination One of the worst feelings is being discriminated against. Sometimes it’s obvious. You know right away that someone isn’t treating you fairly simply because you identify as LGBTQ. Other times, it’s much more subtle. This can almost be worse than obvious discrimination because you’re left wondering if it’s actually happening or if you’re just imaging it. When it comes to housing, there are laws in place to protect you against discrimination. It’s important that you know these laws and your rights, so you understand how to battle discrimination if it affects you.

THE FAIR HOUSING ACT Federal Law and LGBTQ Housing Discrimination. The Federal Fair Housing Act is the single legal document you need

to understand when it comes to housing discrimination. This Act states that no one can be discriminated against based on color, race, sex, religion, national origin, familial status, or disability. While that doesn’t specifically say anything about gender identity or sexual orientation, the Justice Department has gone on record as stating that “sex” does include discrimination against transgender buyers and renters.

In addition to the Justice Department expanding this definition, the Housing and Urban Development department has also gone on record stating that the Act protects you from being discriminated against for “gender nonconformity.” This means that if you are biologically male, but choose to dress feminine, you cannot be discriminated against for not fitting the male stereotype.

Because the Act does mention familial status, many see it as protecting married LGBTQ couples or those who have chosen not to get married but want to live together. As with many laws, the way the Federal Fair Housing Act protects LGBTQ individuals and couples is still being tested and determined.

STATE PROTECTIONS Unfortunately, there aren’t sweeping state laws that protect LGBTQ homebuyers. Various states offer different protections. Some offer next to none, while others have passed legislation fully protecting LGBTQ people from discrimination. Some states protect people based on sexual orientation, but not on gender identification. Then there are city ordinances that protect only those who live within certain metro areas. If you believe you’re dealing with discrimination in housing, it’s important to learn how your state and city offer protections. Speaking to an experienced legal expert is recommended.

AVOIDING DISCRIMINATION If you want to avoid discrimination in your search for the perfect home, one way of doing so is to use a gay or lesbian real estate agent. These agents understand what it’s like to be the target of discrimination and will go out of their way to make certain you’re treated fairly.

50 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY

Qmmunity Groups ALCOHOL & DRUG

Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871  utahaa.org LGBT meetings: Sun. 3p Acceptance Group, UPC, 255 E 400 S Mon. 7p Gay Men’s Stag (Big Book Study), UPC, 255 E 400 S 8p G/Q Women’s Mtg, Disability Law Center (rear), 205 N 400 W Tues. 8:15p Live & Let Live, UPC, 255 E 400 S Wed. 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Fri. 8p Stonewall Group, UPC, 255 E 400 S Crystal Meth Anon  crystalmeth.org Sun. 1:30pm Clean, Sober & Proud LGBTQIA+Straight USARA, 180 E 2100 S Thurs. 1p Unity In Sobriety, 175 S 700 E LifeRing Secular Recovery 801-608-8146  liferingutah.org Sun. 10am Univ. Neuropsychiatric Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Wed. noon, 2319 Foothill Dr, #120 Weds. 6:30 pm, Univ Neuropsych Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Thurs. 7pm, USARA, 180 E 2100 S, #100

Fri. 7pm, UPC, 1380 S. Main 2nd Flr. Sat. 11am, First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E

Qsaltlake.com |

Weber-Morgan Health Mon., Weds 1-4:30p 477 23rd St, Ogden Appt 801-399-7250

BUSINESS

HOMELESS SVCS

LGBTQ-Affirmative Psycho-therapists Guild of Utah  lgbtqtherapists.com * jim@lgbtqtherapists.com

Volunteers of America Homeless Youth Resource Ctr, ages 15–21 880 S 400 W 801-364-0744 Transition Homes: Young Men’s

Utah Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce  utahgaychamber.com * info@utahgaychamber.com Vest Pocket Business Coalition  vestpocket.org 801-596-8977 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 YWCA of Salt Lake  ywca.org/ saltlakecity 322 E 300 S 801-537-8600 HEALTH & HIV

Peer Support for Mental Illness — PSMI Thurs 7pm, Utah Pride Ctr Planned Parenthood 654 S 900 E 800-230-PLAN Salt Lake County Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic 660 S 200 E, 4th Floor Walk-ins M–F 10a–4p Appts 385-468-4242 Utah AIDS Foundation  utahaids.org * mail@utahaids.org 1408 S 1100 E 801-487-2323

801-433-1713 Young Women’s 801-359-5545 LEGAL

Rainbow Law Free Clinic 2nd Thurs 6:30–7:30pm UofU Law School, 383 S University St POLITICAL

Equality Utah  equalityutah.org * info@equalityutah.org 175 W 200 S, Ste 1004 801-355-3479 Utah Libertarian Party 6885 S State St #200 888-957-8824 Utah Log Cabin Republicans  bit.ly/logcabinutah 801-657-9611 Utah Stonewall Democrats  utahstonewalldemocrats.org RELIGIOUS

First Baptist Church  firstbaptist-slc.org * office@firstbaptistslc.org 11a Sundays 777 S 1300 E 801-582-4921

BUT WITH A CAPE

Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

Sacred Light of Christ  slcchurch.org 823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays

Queer Friends  queerfriends.org

Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church  wasatchmcc.org 801-889-8764 Sundays except the 2nd Sunday, 11:15a at Crone’s Hollow, 3834 S. Main

Sage Utah, Seniors  fb.me/sageutah  sageutah@ utahpridecenter.org 801-557-9203

SOCIAL

1 to 5 Club (bisexual)  fb.me/1to5ClubUtah The Bonnie and Clyde’s Social Group  bit.ly/BonnieClydeSG Alternative Garden Club  bit.ly/altgarden * altgardenclub@gmail.com blackBOARD Men’s Kink/Sex/BDSM education, 1st, 3rd Mons.  blackbootsslc.org blackBOOTS Kink/BDSM Men’s leather/kink/ fetish/BDSM 4th Sats.  blackbootsslc.org Gay Writes writing group, DiverseCity 6:30 pm Mondays Community Writing Ctr, 210 E 400 S Ste 8 Get Outside Utah  bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah Men Who Move  menwhomove.org OUTreach Utah Ogden  outreachutah.org OWLS of Utah (Older, Wiser, Lesbian. Sisters)  bit.ly/owlsutah

qVinum Wine Tasting  qvinum.com  fb.me /QVinum/

Temple Squares Square Dance Club  templesquares.org 801-449-1293 Utah Bears  utahbears.com  fb.me/utahbears  info@utahbears.com Weds 6pm Raw Bean Coffee, 611 W Temple

Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League  bit.ly/slgoodtime Stonewall Shooting Sports of Utah  fb.me/stonewall. sportsofutah Venture Out Utah  facebook.com/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah YOUTH/COLLEGE

Encircle LGBTQ Family and Youth Resource Center  encircletogether.org fb.me/encircletogether 91 W 200 S, Provo, Gay-Straight Alliance Network  gsanetwork.org

Utah Male Naturists  umen.org  info@umen.org

Salt Lake Community College LGBTQ+ 8 slcc.edu/lgbtq/

Utah Pride Center  utahpridecenter.org  info@utahpridecenter.org 1380 S Main St 801-539-8800

University of Utah LGBT Resource Center 8 lgbt.utah.edu 200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409 801-587-7973

SPORTS

Pride Community Softball League  fb.me/utahpride. softballleague  pcsl@prideleague.com Q Kickball League  fb.me/qsaltlake. kickball Sundays, 10:30, 11:30, Sunnyside Park QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club  quacquac.org  questions@ quacquac.org

USGA at BYU  fb.me/UsgaAtByu Utah State Univ. Access & Diversity Ctr  usu.edu/ accesscenter/lgbtqa Utah Valley Univ Spectrum  facebook.com/ groups/uvuspectrum Weber State University LGBT Resource Center  weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter 801-626-7271

Embracing the health & resilience of our community Utah’s Inclusive Aquatic Club since 1995 BEGINNERS WELCOME EVERYONE’S INVITED

umen.org

November 1, 2018 |

Issue 287 | Qsaltlake.com

positive thoughts

HEALTH | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 51

Stop Calling the Cops

BY KENYON FARROW

When I

see films or documentaries about the early days of the AIDS epidemic that focus on the lives and relationships of gay men, I see a lot of people taking care of one another. In many cases, one partner might find out he’s HIV positive, the other partner finds out his status, and the two stay together, and one taking care of the other until one or both is met with the unfortunate fate of certain death. I’m sure it also happened that many men, who were brave enough to finally disclose their status in a time where there were no available treatments to keep them alive, were in fact deserted by their lovers, and left to other family and friends to care for them until they died.

But in neither scenario do I recall seeing images of a man, upon learning of his partners HIV status, sneaking quietly into another room, and dialing 9-1-1 to report to the police, that they may have been exposed to the virus.

And yet, that is happening.

And I’d ask all gay men reading this to please stop.

There are laws that criminalize the lack of disclosing one’s HIV status to sexual partners in about [34 states[http://www.

thebody.com/content/80334/ map-hiv-criminalizationin-the-united-states.html?ic=sanext]]. Some make the act of “exposing” someone to HIV a felony crime. And some make the act of not disclosing one’s status to sexual partners a crime. Now, we can debate the fact that “exposing” someone to HIV is often based on ideas about transmission that are 30 years old and no longer relevant. Spitting doesn’t transmit HIV, for example. And we also know if a person is on antiretroviral therapy and the virus is suppressed in their bodies, they cannot transmit the virus through sexual contact – even if it’s sex without a condom (or what we call Undetectable=Untransmittable, or U=U).

While it’s important that we all know the latest information about HIV transmission, it still shouldn’t matter. No gay or bisexual men, as maligned as we all still are in the world, should ever think the best solution to deal with HIV – whether you contract the virus or not – is to use the police and the specter of a prison sentence.

I’ve been working on issues of HIV criminalization for about 10 years. And in the last few years I’ve done some support on two particular cases

where gay men have opted to bring down the force of punitive police and prison onto people they say didn’t disclose they were HIV positive, even if they didn’t contract HIV. Michael Johnson is a young black gay man in Missouri, currently serving a 10-year sentence for exposing several sex partners to HIV, only one of whom contracted HIV, and whether or not he disclosed his status is something only the people involved know. But the person who called the police and who is HIV positive says he contracted HIV from Johnson, but does not say that the sex they had was coerced, or anything approaching assault.

It was consensual.

More recently, 24-year-old Sanjay Johnson is facing trial in Arkansas, in early 2019, after disclosing his status after having sex with another young man. There is documented evidence that Johnson was, in fact, virally suppressed at the time of their sexual encounter, and the other person in question told TheBody that he tested positive just weeks later, and was concurrently given an AIDS diagnosis, which suggests he may have also been HIV positive at the time he had sex with Johnson, but did not know. The accuser also suggests that when he called the police, he didn’t realize they would charge Johnson with a felony and that it would mean Johnson would be sent to prison.

I am a Black gay man approaching my 44th birthday.

I straddle the generation of

men who literally lost dozens, if not hundreds, of friends and lovers, and those who are now coming of age where we have great treatments that will suppress the virus to make condomless sex of no risk for HIV transmission, as well as having PrEP – an option other than condoms to prevent HIV for those who are HIV negative. I’m on PrEP and made the choice to use PrEP several years ago so that I would take my own HIV prevention into my own hands, and not leave it to guess whether someone is HIV-positive or negative.

And I also am open to dating or having sex with men who are HIV positive (and already have) but I don’t need someone to disclose their status in order for me to make decisions about my own body.

But I’ve been disheartened by the fact that we have such fear and mistrust of one another that people think calling the police on someone for their health status is something that will keep us safe. Police and prisons do not bring about safety. Access to quality health care that is affordable is safety.

Housing, drug treatment and harm reduction is safety. And having the love and support of other men, as friends, as lovers, as a community, is what will make us safe, and heal us all of the specter and the stigma of HIV, whether HIV positive or negative. Q Kenyon Farrow is the senior editor of TheBody.com and TheBodyPRO.com.

Follow Kenyon on Twitter @kenyonfarrow.

This column is a project of Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, TheBody.com,Q Syndicate, and QSaltLake Magazine.

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52 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PETS

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

Pet Month of the

First-time Exam, Bite-wing X-rays, Cleaning New patients only.

Limitations and exclusions may apply.

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To schedule an appointment, please call 801.878.1700 Evening and Saturday Appointments Available Most Insurances Accepted

Felicia 7 years old, female, domestic long hair, brown tabby

Felicia is a gorgeous girl with a big personality! When she’s not napping in her favorite spot, she’s bright and alert and paying attention to everything going on around her. She would do best in a home with adults that will play with her with interactive toys and let her watch the world outside from a window perch.

For more information, go to Best Friends Animal Society–Utah, 2005 S 1100 East, or call 801-574-2454 or go to bestfriendsutah. org or utahadoptions@bestfriends.org

q scopes NOVEMBER

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

ARIES March 20–April 19

While the fate of the universe does not fall within your hands, it does appear that great dependence falls on you. Many people consider pushing you around, but recognize that it is not their place to do so. Decide once and for all what you want and go for it. While success is never guaranteed, satisfaction is always available.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20

A past associate appears and with them comes a renewed interest in faith. There are many questions you can ask, but don’t be surprised if certain answers are missing. This person can only point out the directions, but decisions require gut instinct. Push fear aside and whatever feelings remain is what you should listen to.

GEMINI May 21–June 20

No one does anything without reason. Even an act of curiosity is an experimental one. Recognize that someone toying with your emotions could simply be curious, but this type of game isn’t what you need right now.

Put a stop to it, and move away from

this behavior at all costs. It is not always easy, but learn how to walk away.

CANCER June 21–July 22

No one enjoys a liar, especially you Cancer! Even so, an exaggeration in storytelling is always enjoyable, and a tall-tale may draw you in more than you realize. Enjoy the escapism but recognize that even other people don’t realize when the truth has been stretched a bit too much. Don’t judge too harshly, but don’t be a sucker either.

LEO July 23–August 22

Pain has a way of creating a desire for revenge. Consider the source of your plight before taking actions that could end up hurting you more than help. One of your most trusted friends has a pleasant gift for you. Accept it graciously and realize that it comes from the heart. It will ease your pain more than vengeance ever could.

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22

A personal situation at home could lead to more changes than you realize. There is a danger is biting off too much. Obligations and personal relationships could be suffocating. Lay off someone who doesn’t make you feel good about yourself all the time.

No matter how much you may care for

them, it isn’t worth losing peace over.

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22

No matter how much is accomplished, life is becoming a never-ending stream of obligations.

Start eliminating things holding you back, and focus on what bring you the happiest endings. A relationship has become muddled, with almost as much bad as there is good. The real struggle is in determining what can be overlooked.

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21

It is not hard to provide gratitude for yourself, because you know what gets you going. Even so, don’t fear searching for a fast learning companion. By demonstrating your own desires to this person, you may find a personification of your fantasies. The real risk is boredom, so don’t be afraid to try some new things as well.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22–December 20.

A restless period could be due to work related stress. It may seem as though anxiety is a defining factor in life, but that can change. It is a good time to find a new job or recreate your circle of friends. Change is the real key to happiness. Even though it may seem scary, the risks are lower than you think. Go after what you really want.

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19

Despite the general opinion, being caught in the middle of an embarrassing situation could be amusing.

The attention is vastly more rewarding than the shame, so have a good time while playing the fool. Don’t let others make the mistake of thinking they can hurt you though. Just because you play the part doesn’t mean it defines you.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18

Break free of an oppressive relationship but don’t burn a bridge. You might simply need space, but the value is still there. Nothing is more rewarding than figuring out a problem on your own, so put your hands on the wheel and glide into a good place. A career or financial matter is really weighing you down, so learn to let go.

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19

A distinct trait you share with other Pisces is the uncanny ability to connect with one another. Get involved with those who are like-minded, and self discover could be the result. A revelation could lead to a vastly different career path than you’ve been on for quite some time. It may simply be the time for self-reinvention. Q

November 1, 2018 |

PETS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 53

Issue 287 | Qsaltlake.com

NKUT Super AdoptiOn November 2–3 utah state fairpark

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54 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FRIVOLIST

5

the frivolist

Steps to coming to terms with your balding head

BY MIKEY ROX

Male pattern

baldness for a young gay man can be tough to come to terms with, but rest assured that your hair is only one aspect of your overall appearance and personal style. Instead of obsessing over that which you lack — and have little control over, frankly — concentrate on the total package you present. When your shoulders are held high because of boosted self-esteem from other outward factors, people will notice (even the haters!) — without thinking twice about your sitch up top. To make the move to a more confident you, consider these tips on how to accept (and love!) your balding head.

1 Assess the situation

If you notice your hair thinning and that prospect is a source of anxiety for you — I’ve been there myself — assess the situation rationally and consult a professional. Master barber Brandon Barney suggests taking the issue straight to the person you’ve trusted your hair with for years — your barber or stylist.

“The barber should have an idea — if they’ve been doing your hair for long enough to see it change — of both how your hair is growing and when it’s starting to retreat,” he says. “If you don’t have a regular barber, be your own detective.

Look in the mirror and really look at yourself. After the shock of ‘Holy shit, I’m old’ wears off, be honest with yourself. You’ll know if it’s easier to see your scalp if your hair looks thinner at the roots.”

It’s important, too, that you’re comfortable enough and have a decent rapport with your barber or stylist that they’ll tell you the hard truth. My stylist downplayed my thinning for a long time out of fear of hurting my feelings. That didn’t help the situation, and I lost valuable time in trying to halt the process. That’s how I wanted to approach the issue — with a Minoxidil regimen — but that was a personal choice and certainly not an endorsement for the temporary remedy.

This is a do-you situation and only you can decide how to make the best of it.

2 Stop lying to yourself

I was in denial about my male pattern baldness for several years because I didn’t want to accept that my youth had expired. As a result, I grew more self-conscious every time I looked in the mirror. I knew I had to deal with it at some point, even though the acceptance process dragged on. I wasn’t alone in this battle, however, and neither are you.

“You lose your hair and one thought comes into mind: I am no longer young,” says Barney. “Age has caught up. The sooner you can accept that, the sooner you can manage it. Older isn’t dead, and age is only a number. If you’re feeling depressed, self-conscious about it, you’re not alone. The vast majority of people experiencing [thinning hair] feel that way. But learning how to manage it and accepting the reality of it will change how you feel about it and yourself.”

3

Ask your significant other and friends their opinions

When trying to figure out how to handle my own situation, I turned to my boyfriend and my friends for what I should do. While the final decision wasn’t up to them ultimately, I wanted to hear from my male buddies on how they were approaching or had approached their own balding, and I wanted to gauge my boyfriend’s response to buzzing my hair so the thinning wasn’t as noticeable at the source. These consultations helped me come to terms with my situation and make a proactive move regarding my hair that would eventually eradicate my anxiety.

4Work with what you’ve got Now that you’ve ac-

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

cepted what plenty of men continue to deny, you can start to disguise your “problem” area properly. This doesn’t mean spraying on fake infomercial hair-in-a-can or carpeting your head with a toupee or comb-over. This is dressing your hair to its strengths and avoiding products that will exacerbate the issue. Don’t use “high shine” hair products, like pomade or gel, for instance. The shine will draw attention away from the hair and accentuate your scalp. Instead, use clay or matte products that give a natural look. This will style your follicles effectively and help keep the focus on the hair you still have.

“Also, do your research and ask your barber about hairstyles that will work for your hair,” Barney adds. “The difference between a side part and a comb-over is the amount of scalp exposed by the hair on top. Look up haircuts yourself before you see your barber next, make your top three selections, and prepare yourself for his professional, honest opinion and the possibility that none of them will work. Finding and accepting your new hairstyle — if one is needed — will benefit you tremendously along with using the right product.”

5Hold your head high

Hair is important to a lot of guys, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

But remember that your hair is only one part of you, and not even the best part. Besides, there’s nothing sexier than a man who owns himself and his appearance, which translates naturally to virility and masculinity.

“Sexiness is a lot more about attitude and confidence,” says Caleb Backe, health and wellness expert at Maple Holistics.

“If you’re rocking a bald or balding head properly, it can be very enticing. Some see it as a sign of maturity and experience, which is a whole new kind of turn-on for many individuals. This process is not about compensating, or diverting attention, and it isn’t about choosing a new hat to cover your shame. It’s about self-acceptance of the highest order.” Q

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He lives with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Twitter @ mikeyrox.

November 1, 2018 |

Issue 287 | Qsaltlake.com

Online and at over 350 locations across the Wasatch Front

FRIVOLIST | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 55

We also have wedding offciants

Advertise at 801.997.9763

56 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

the perils of petunia pap smear

A tale of another one rides the Big Gay Fun Bus

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road

to Wendover is fraught with danger

and excitement.

The next Big Gay Fun Bus to Wendover of the season is quickly approaching on Dec. 1. Do you have your ticket yet?

I’m so excited for this season. As many of you know, for many years I help co-host the event. I have had so much fun doing this over the years and I really look forward to it every time.

Bingo on the bus and Third Friday Bingo was always a sideline for me. I’d always worked a real job that pays a salary, and then in my spare time work on the bingo for charity fundraising activities. But hen I thought I’d get a job where I made actual money for doing the same thing.

So I got a job as a bingo host on the fun buses for “Muggles” that go to Wendover five times a day.

It was apparent from the very beginning that these buses of Muggles would be very different than The Big Gay Fun Bus that I am used to. First of all, English is not the first language for at least 75 percent of the riders. The median age looks to be about 70. And the cargo hold is typically filled with walkers, canes and wheel chairs. So, one time I found myself in Wendover at 4 a.m. trying to herd a bunch of drunk, foreign-speaking, handicapped Muggles onto a bus. Once on board, I began with all my usual jokes and

7pm, Oct. 19, Nov. 16, Jan. 21 First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E fb.me/matronsofmayhem

stories which, due to language, culture and age barriers, went over like a loud fart in the Celestial Room of the Temple.

One particular Friday, as the bus was loading in Salt Lake, the air conditioning was not working and the Muggles were getting restless. Now, I know that queens don’t sweat, but by God, on a bus in 100 degree heat with 54 grouchy international senior citizens all nagging me (I’m sure that at least one of them put a curse on me), I was streaming buckets.

Thank goodness my princess training taught me to carry a large purse in which luckily I have my personal necklace fan.

It saved my life. When we reached the weigh station just east of Wendover, the UDOT officers signaled that the bus needed to be inspected. So we finished driving into Wendover and unloaded the passengers at the casino, and then the bus driver took the bus back to the weigh station for inspection.

Meanwhile, at the casino, I was approached by David, a very handsome 30-something guy who spoke in a British accent. Few things make me weaker in the knees than a stud with a British accent. It didn’t help matters that he was wearing a tank top and short shorts, and had all the right bumps in all the right places. David explained to me that he was walking across the United States to promote and earn money for Prince Harry’s Invictus Games, for wounded war veterans. He explained that it had taken him 17 days to cross Nevada, due to the heat, and that many people had warned him not to hike across the Salt Flats or he would end up as buzzard bait. He then asked if he could buy a ticket to ride the bus to Salt Lake. Smitten, I immediately answered yes. I would’ve thrown a Chinese grandma off the bus to make room for him if necessary.

Dispatch called me and informed me that the bus did not pass inspection, and was waiting for a repair team

from Salt Lake to come out and fix the problem. They were also going to send a separate rescue bus to pick up the passengers and return us to Salt Lake. The only problem was that the passengers had left their personal items on the other bus.

So, it was arranged that the rescue bus, after loading the passengers would stop at the weigh station, and the drivers and I would collect the personal possessions.

The process took about 20 minutes to sort through all the stuff. Just as we were about to depart, the rescue bus stopped running. SHIT! I was not in the mood.

What would British Dave think of us Utah hicks?

Just then, the repair team from the first bus had finished the repairs. So we transferred the passengers back to the initial bus. I made sure British Dave sat toward the front of the bus. Most of the trip back, for British Dave’s benefit, I kept up a tour guide’s monologue about Lake Bonneville, the Salt Flats, the Great Salt Lake, the Donner Party and how pretty British Dave’s biceps were.

After all the frustrations of the day, I decided that if I was going to continue working the Muggle buses I would end up not enjoying the Big Gay Fun Bus anymore, so I turned in my notice and that was my final Muggle bus trip.

This story leaves us with several important questions: 1. Without income to buy Aqua Net, how long could I maintain my beehive hair?

2. If there was a real emergency and the bus needed to be evacuated, how many of Muggles would die?

3. Should I have become conversational in Russian, Chinese and Spanish?

4. Should I have asked British Dave to have Elizabeth invite me to high tea at the palace?

These and other eternal questions shall be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

58 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 287 | November 1, 2018

TO WEST WENDOVER, Nevada Featuring the Matrons of Mayhem NEXT BUS:

Sat. December 1

Tickets $25 or

BigGayFunBus.com or 801-997-9763 x2

or cash-only at Club Try-Angles during normal hours

@BigGayFunBus

November 1, 2018 |

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 59

Issue 287 | Qsaltlake.com

Happy Holidays!

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