QSaltLake January 16, 2007 by QSaltLake Magazine

Utah’s G

ay & Les

E E  F R E IN Z A G A TM TAINMEN R E T N E & s bian New

January 16–31, 2007 ISSUE 70

Sodomy Repeal Sought

Unconstitutional law is still on Utah’s books.

Ford Remembered as Supporter of SameSex Couples Gay former Marine who thwarted assassination attempt remembered

GLAAD Names 2006 ‘Worst Offenders’ Time, New York Post top list

Queers and Their Pets News Quiz New Columnists New Look Comics The Gay Agenda

J A N U A R Y 16 , 2 0 0 7  I S S U E 7 0  Q S A LT L A K E 

Bisexual Awareness Month Events

Sundance Film Festival

editing, to craft a riveting portrait of an exceedingly charming gangster who both lives up to and shatters the usual stereotypes World Premiere. Screening Times FR. JAN 19 10:00 PM Holiday Village Cinema IV SA. JAN 20 3:15 PM Holiday Village Cinema III MO. JAN 22 10:30 PM Broadway Centre Cinemas VI TU. JAN 23 8:30 AM Holiday Village Cinema II

A DAY OUT South Korea, 2006, 13 min., color Director: Jong Yoon Lee Shorts Program IV Repressed sexual longings between a stern military sergeant and his submissive private come to a violent boil when the two spend a night with a prostitute in a motel room. Screening Times FR. JAN 19 11:30 PM Holiday Village Cinema II SA. JAN 20 8:30 PM Prospector Square Theatre SU. JAN 21 6:45 PM Broadway Centre Cinemas V SA. JAN 27 2:30 PM Library Center Theatre SU. JAN 28 5:00 PM Holiday Village Cinema III

City it seems there are

more and more films with queer content.

Here is this year’s list of “don’t-miss” films and a guide to the Queer Lounge.

Artist Spotlight: Pierre HuYghe France Director: Pierre Huyghe A presentation of short films that have rarely been screened outside of a museum or art gallery context. Huyghe is one of

DOORMAN United States, 2006, 17 min., color Director: Etienne Kallos Screenwriter: Etienne Kallos, Diana Fithian Shorts Program II A Latino doorman of a New York apartment building begins to unravel emotionally when he is seduced and then dumped by a privileged college kid who lives in the building in which he works. Screening Times FR. JAN 19 6:45 PM Broadway Centre Cinemas V FR. JAN 19 8:30 AM Racquet Club SA. JAN 20 1:00 PM Holiday Village Cinema IV TU. JAN 23 2:30 PM Prospector Square Theatre SA. JAN 27 9:15 PM Holiday Village Cinema III

FAMILY REUNION Iceland, 2006, 19 min., color Director/Screenwriter: Isold Uggadottir Shorts Program V New York lesbian Katrin struggles to come out to her relatives back in Iceland, but revelations at a family reunion challenge all her assumptions. Screening Times FR. JAN 19 11:59 PM Holiday Village Cinema III SA. JAN 20 6:45 PM Broadway Centre Cinemas V MO. JAN 22 5:30 PM Prospector Square Theatre TH. JAN 25 6:30 PM Holiday Village Cinema IV SA. JAN 27 9:15 AM Eccles Theatre

FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO United States, 2006, 95 min., color Director: Daniel Karslake Screenwriter: Daniel Karslake, Nancy Kennedy Documentary Grounded by the stories of five conservative Christian families, the film explores how the religious right has used its interpretation of the Bible to support its agenda of stigmatizing the gay community and eroding

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Every year in Park

A VERY BRITISH GANGSTER United Kingdom, 2006, 97 min., color & b/w Director and Producer: Donal MacIntyre World Documentary Competition The British gangster genre has enjoyed a renaissance in recent years with films like Sexy Beast; Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels; and Layer Cake (all of which screened at Sundance). However, as cool and stylized as these films and their characters are, there ain’t nothing like the real thing. A Very British Gangster is a potently charged documentary about one of Britain’s most dangerous crime families and introduces us to its magnetic, largerthan-life leader. The film follows the trials and tribulations of Dominic Noonan (aka Lattlay Fottfoy) as he lurches from criminal trial to trial while serving as the patriarch of an entire community, which he protects with his own brand of justice and security. He is both a gangland enforcer and a neighborhood fixer. The world that the film reveals is a disturbing one, full of lost innocence and lives, but the people who inhabit it are welded together through loyalty and love. Rarely does a film of this kind maintain such a steadfastly objective gaze. Director Donal Mac Intyre utilizes the unprecedented access given him by Noonan and his family, complemented by a rocking soundtrack and deft

AN AMERICAN CRIME United States, 2006, 92 min., color Director: Tommy O’Haver Screenwriters: Tommy O’Haver, Irene Turner Premieres Based on a true story that gripped the nation in 1965, An American Crime recounts one of the most shocking crimes ever committed against a single victim. The daughters of traveling carnival workers are left for an extended stay at the suburban Indiana home of single mother Gertrude Baniszewski and her seven children. Times are tough, and Gertrude’s needs force her to accept this arrangement before understanding how the burden will push her already-fragile nature to a breaking point. What transpires is both riveting and horrific, leaving one child dead and the rest scarred for life. Even though a complete reversal of the type of film you expect from him, it becomes clear immediately that An American Crime is a film Tommy O’Haver was destined to make. With profound skill, he controls the complex narrative, the historic period, and a cast of more than a dozen talented child actors. Casting Catherine Keener as Gertrude was his first brilliant idea. With spellbinding clarity, her Gertrude oozes with squelched sexual desire and shifting levels of insanity and evil. She has the uncanny ability to make you empathize even when she encourages the family and neighborhood children to participate in unthinkable activities. The proof? Even though you know the outcome, in a weak moment, you can actually believe her lies. World Premiere.

France’s most celebrated young artists. His multimedia installations — which are concerned with collective memory, the construction of narratives, and textures of re-enactment — have been exhibited at museums around the world including the Guggenheim, Tate Modern, and the Whitney Museums.

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the separation between church and state. World Premiere.

Illustration: Traci O’Very Covey

Screening Times Su, Jan 21 8:30 PM Holiday Village Cinema II Mo, Jan 22 12:15 PM Holiday Village Cinema III Tu, Jan 23 6:45 PM Broadway Centre Cinemas V Th, Jan 25 2:30 PM Library Center Theatre Fr, Jan 26 11:30 PM Holiday Village Cinema II

FREEHELD United States, 2006, 40 min., color Director: Cynthia Wade In the last weeks of her life, Lieutenant Laurel Hester has one goal—to leave her hard-earned pension to her life partner Stacie.

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Screening Times FR. JAN 19 8:30 AM Library Center Theatre SA. JAN 20 12:45 PM Broadway Centre Cinemas V SU. JAN 21 8:30 PM Prospector Square Theatre TU. JAN 23 8:30 PM Holiday Village Cinema II

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HARD TO SWALLOW United Kingdom, 2006, 14 min., color Director/Screenwriter: Mat Kirkby Shorts Program I Three couples share Sunday lunch...and certainly don’t drink too much, fight or swear at each other.

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Screening Times MO. JAN 22 9:00 PM Egyptian Theatre, Park City TU. JAN 23 11:59 PM Holiday Village Cinema IV WE. JAN 24 1:00 PM Holiday Village Cinema IV FR. JAN 26 9:00 PM Tower Theatre, SLC

I Just WANTed TO BE SOMEBODY United States, 2006, 10 min., color Director: Jay Rosenblatt Screenwriter: Fenton Johnson Shorts with Features Plays with “For the Bible Tells Me So” Notoriously anti-gay Anita Bryant’s life and the impact she had in the late 1970s are chronicled and considered through newsreels, commercials and home movies. FR. JAN 19 8:30 PM Library Center Theatre SU. JAN 21 3:00 PM Broadway Centre Cinemas IV MO. JAN 22 11:30 PM Holiday Village Cinema II FR. JAN 26 12:00 PM Egyptian Theatre, Park City

Screening Times FR. JAN 19 8:30 PM Prospector Square Theatre SA. JAN 20 1:30 PM Broadway Centre Cinemas VI SU. JAN 21 9:15 AM Holiday Village Cinema III TH. JAN 25 12:00 PM Egyptian Theatre SA. JAN 27 11:59 PM Holiday Village Cinema IV

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a price. The energizing hip-hop soundtrack fuels exciting and inspiring step-dancing sequences, where characters connect, let aggressions out, and find the strength to escape their bleak surroundings. Authentic performances help turn this comingof-age story into a gritty, realistic, urban-dance film. World Premiere.

1/5/07 10:18:05 AM

Swimming Schedule

Sw i m m i n g 7 - 8pm: Tuesdays & Thursdays Wa t e r p o l o 11am-12pm: Sundays Diving Waterpolo Schedule Sy n c h r o n i z e d noon-1:30 pm: Sundays Sw i m m i n g Fairmont Aquatic Center 1044 E. Sugarmont Dr., Salt Lake City (approx. 2200 South) Cost: Pool Admission Diving and Synchronized Swimming as arranged by coaches. More information: info@quacquac.org or 801-232-7961 (Doug)

HOW SHE MOVE Canada, 2006, 98 min., color Director: Ian Iqbal Rashid Screenwriter: Annmarie Morais World Dramatic Competition Raya, a teenager with medical-school aspirations, can no longer afford the tuition at her private high school. When she returns to her tough neighborhood, she dreams of returning to her school, but she needs money. Opportunity knocks when she learns about a step-dancing competition with a top prize of $50,000. She dances her way onto her friend Bishop’s all-male JSJ crew and shakes things up as the only girl. The other guys are wary, and the girls are jealous, but Raya only has eyes for the prize and tries to stay above the drama. When she breaks rank and shows off during a preliminary competition, Bishop ignores the chemistry developing between them and throws her out of the JSJ. Raya must either find a new crew or win back Bishop’s trust. Set under the oppressive gray skies of a Toronto winter, How She Move is a well-drawn portrait of a girl who learns that winning always comes at

INFINITE DELAY United States, 2006, 9 min., color Director: Kadet Kuhne Shorts with Features Screens with Strange Culture A restrained subject surrenders herself to a sublime state of waiting in a mysterious underwater world. Screening Times FR. JAN 19 9:00 AM Egyptian Theatre, Park City TU. JAN 23 9:15 PM Holiday Village Cinema III SA. JAN 27 3:45 PM Broadway Centre Cinemas V

The Last dining table South Korea, 2006, 91 min., color & b/w Director and Screenwriter: GyeongTae Roh Frontier In this unique, moving feature, Gyeong-Tae Roh offers a penetrating meditation on the distance between individuals and the hyper-ritualized, technological encounters that replace human connection. In an exquisitely still atmosphere, intermittently punctuated by a soundscape of subtle music and ambient noise, successive individuals enact random, prosaic slices of life. A

woman moans before a L group of businessmen. A o young man takes a handful r of pills during a deadening A subway ride. Guards sub- t due a hysterical man in an t institution, while another S engages in a serpentine b dance. f These spellbinding b shards of dramatic action, W beautifully acted and pho- F tographed, seem strangely S F unhinged—albeit from S specific, unseen narrative S situations. Indeed, the attentive eye is eventually rewarded as recurrent characters and situations sketch bare outlines of mini-narratives, each with its own precisely measured moral and metaphorical T weight. Almost cubist in U its mastery of enigmatiD cally connected patterns, A Roh’s film achieves its P breathtaking affect with T austerity and understate- R ment. M North American Premiere. a Screening Times r FR. JAN 19 11:30 AM Holiday Village Cinema II SA. JAN 20 3:00 PM Broadway Centre Cinemas IV s TU. JAN 23 3:15 PM Holiday Village Cinema III SA. JAN 27 7:00 PM Holiday Village Cinema IV J SU. JAN 28 10:00 AM Screening Room, Sundance N t fi a p n o w LIFE SUPPORT a United States, 2006, 127 min., color s Director: Nelson George t Screenwriters: Nelson George, Jim a McKay, Hannah Weyer i Premieres v Nelson George makes an h auspicious directorial o debut with a film based on t the life of his sister and i family. At its core, Life Support delivers a peri sonal, yet potent message. t It uses its mix of actors ands people from the Brooklyn o HIV/AIDS community to p tell the story of Ana Wal- p lace, who channels her q energy and regret over n past drug addiction into D her work with an AIDS r outreach group. A passion- c ate woman with a stubbornl streak, she is thrown into w a situation that puts her w health at risk and threat- s ens to drive her already- e fractured family away. Life Support may be s an important political q film, but that is not why p it succeeds. It works b because the pieces add up g to a greater whole. The a performances are nuanced, w the story is authentic, and T the filmmaking is full of a the details necessary to a bring an unrepresented W part of American life to the S S screen. The stars aligned M T to make this film possible, T S from writer to producers S to its hard-hitting cast. The brightest star in the lineup is undeniably Queen

Latifah, who brings her own unique strength and radiance to the lead role. Ana’s undying optimism in the face of diversity is both truthful and inspiring. Life Support exemplifies the best of what cinema can do for an issue: make you feel by keeping it real. World Premiere. CLOSING FILM. Screening Times FR. JAN 26 6:00 PM Eccles Theatre FR. JAN 26 9:30 PM Eccles Theatre SA. JAN 27 5:30 PM Prospector Square Theatre SU. JAN 28 12:15 PM Rose Wagner

SAVE ME U.S.A., 2006, 93 min., color Director: Robert Cary; Screenwriters: Craig Chester, Alan Hines, Robert Desiderio Spectrum Years in the making, Robert Cary’s exquisite third feature, Save Me, is a film about redemption. Mark (Chad Allen), a lost, young, gay man leads a wild life of drugs and meaningless sex, searching desperately to fill

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Screening Times SU. JAN 21 8:30 PM Library Center Theatre MO. JAN 22 9:00 AM Holiday Village Cinema IV MO. JAN 22 9:00 PM Broadway Centre Cinemas IV FR. JAN 26 8:30 PM Library Center Theatre

This performance may contain partial nudity; it may not be suitable for all audiences.

Smiley face United States, 2006, 88 min., color Director: Gregg Araki; Screenwriter: Dylan Haggerty Midnight Let’s begin at point A. Jane is a pothead. The type who, already stoned at 9:17 a.m., might eat a tray of cupcakes that her roommate specifically instructed her not to touch. When those cupcakes turn out to be marijuana-infused, it is the first step in what will be a very long day for Jane. Jane makes a simple list of what she must do to replace the cupcakes: buy some pot, make new cupcakes. These deceptively simple to-do lists rarely go as planned, and Jane’s day soon careens out of control like a runaway train. She certainly shouldn’t be driving, but she embarks on a pot-fueled Los Angeles odyssey. After countless hazy adventures, she reaches point

February 8 & 9, 2007 Jeanne Wagner TheaTre Surrender to the magic of Pilobolus. Its artistry and signature moves employ entangled bodies that resemble a sort of living sculpture—one that moves constantly, defying gravity and entertaining audiences with both humor and the magnificence of the human form.

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Screening Times Sunday , Jan 21 9:30 PM Eccles Theatre Monday , Jan 22 8:30 AM Prospector Square Theatre Tuesday , Jan 23 9:00 PM Screening Room, Sundance Sunday , Jan 28 3:30 PM Rose Wagner

Screening Times SU. JAN 21 6:15 PM Holiday Village Cinema III MO. JAN 22 3:15 PM Holiday Village Cinema III TU. JAN 23 12:00 PM Screening Room, Sundance FR. JAN 26 11:30 AM Prospector Square Theatre Saturday , Jan 27 9:15 AM Holiday Village Cinema III

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Pilobolus photo by John Kane courtesy of The Joyce Theater

THE NINES United States, 2006, 102 min., color Director and Screenwriter: John August Premieres Three actors — Ryan Reynolds, Hope Davis, and Melissa McCarthy — are a delight playing different roles in the three different scenarios that comprise John August’s film The Nines. In The Prisoner, a troubled television star finds himself under house arrest with his chipper publicist and disillusioned neighbor providing his only link to the outside world. Reality Television is a Project Greenlight-style show tracing the behindthe-scenes tribulations of a half-hour sitcom. And in Knowing, an acclaimed video-game designer and his family have car trouble on an outing and find themselves stranded deep in the woods. Writer/director August is firmly at the helm of this unique film. The three stories are linked to each other on a metaphysical plane, forming a stylish puzzle of coincidences that questions the underlying notions of both life and art. Does the creator have a responsibility to his or her creations? If we shape the lives we lead on any level, why not on all levels? Are we or are we not responsible for our own happy endings? If you need tidy conclusions to these and other questions films sometimes pose, The Nines may not be for you. But if you love great writing, direction, and performances and are willing to ask questions, The Nines offers an upbeat, as well as enlightening, adventure. World Premiere.

PROTAGONIST U.S.A., 2006, 90 min., color Director/Screenwriter: Jessica Yu Documentary Competition When does a man become his own tragedy? Inspired by Euripides, Academy Award-winning filmmaker Jessica Yu (Breathing Lessons) boldly addresses the essence of storytelling by creating a documentary about drama itself. Focusing on the trajectories of four lives, Yu poses a crucial question: what happens when people are driven to such extremes that they become the thing they most abhor? Exposition, rising action, turning point, falling action, denoument: this is classic story structure, famously outlined by Aristotle, employed by the great Greek tragedians, and taught to endless would-be writers in the centuries since. Of central importance is the protagonist, the character in the process of change. In her study of man and fate, Yu centers on the drama of one person in transition. Through vérité techniques and interviews interwoven with extraordinary puppetry functioning as the classic Greek chorus, the lives of these seemingly unrelated men—a former German terrorist, an “ex-gay” evangelist, a bank robber, and a martial-arts student—unfold in riveting detail as each creates a new hell in his attempts to escape from an old one. Whether famous, infamous, or simply anonymous, each lives out the eternal drama of how we control—or don’t control—our own destinies. World Premiere.

the emptiness in his soul. When Mark finally hits bottom, his brother checks him into Genesis House, a 12-step, Christian, “ex-gay” ministry specializing in healing sexual brokenness. Genesis House is the life mission of Gayle (Judith Light) and her husband, Ted (Stephen Lang). Haunted by her past, Gayle is determined to save young homosexual men from their personal demons. Scott (Robert Gant), one of the program’s “fifth phasers,” is Mark’s mentor. The growing friendship between these two men threatens Gayle. Increasingly suspect of Scott’s motives, Gayle fights back, refusing to let her carefully controlled world fall apart. Torn by the specter of damnation and the pull of their hearts, Mark and Scott are forced to confront their truth. The nuanced screenplay by Craig Chester, Alan Hines, and Robert Desiderio conveys the insidious harm of Christianity gone awry, while gracefully avoiding the pitfalls of cliché. Superbly shot amidst the beauty of the New Mexico desert and boasting exceptionally layered performances from its gifted stars, Save Me is pointedly topical and powerfully moving. World Premiere.

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Z. Jane finds herself on a Ferris wheel, in possession of an extremely valuable historical document and talking to a disembodied, imaginary voice about corn chips and orange juice. Gregg Araki’s Smiley Face is aglow with bright colors and vibrant characters. Araki deftly pokes fun at pot culture while affectionately embracing it. A strong comedic performance by Anna Faris as the loveable misguided Jane, and a sublimely bizarre supporting cast, make this a long, strange, and boisterous trip. But please, don’t eat the cupcakes World Premiere. Screening Times SA. JAN 20 11:30 PM Library Center Theatre SU. JAN 21 3:00 PM Egyptian Theatre, Park City FR. JAN 26 11:59 PM Tower Theatre, SLC SA. JAN 27 3:15 PM Holiday Village Cinema III

Panel Discussion The Burden of Representation Whether it’s speaking on behalf of all Native Americans or all Asian Americans or all gays, the burden of representation can weigh a lot. Most often that burden, imposed by a community’s expectation, is never met. Join a openly gay Palawano Islander, a Jewish Maori, a Seminole Okie and a host of others whose films step outside “conventional” representation and explore what it means to speak for one’s self rather than an entire community. Sterlin Harjo, Auraeus Solito, Taika Waititi and others. Screening Times TH. Jan 25 11:00 AM Filmmaker Lodge Free admission, priority to festival credential holders.

Tromadance

Tuli Philippines, 2006, 107 min., color Director: Auraeus Solito Screenwriter: Jimmy Flores Spectrum A group of young Pilipino boys gathers at the creek. Through the lush forest, sun dapples the ground and water. A kind of ritual begins to transpire. The boys, one by one, are circumcised in a requisite rite of passage. A young girl, Daisy, is also there and becomes her father’s stoic assistant in the act. Life in the remote Pilipino village seems simple and innocent. But as the children grow up, the plot becomes more complicated. Cut to Daisy, a beautiful young woman. She is dissatisfied with her life, and her father is continually drunk and increasingly abusive. An arranged marriage seems her only way out, but she has her eye on a different life. She is already falling in love with her female childhood friend—a relationship that threatens to tear the village apart. As he did so well in The Blossoming of Maximo Oliveros, Auraeus Solito again offers a glimpse into another culture; this time, it’s not the grey city but the lush greens and rich hues of earth and sky. His story transpires in a magical, rustic style, where Old World spiritualism commingles with colorful Christian rituals. In Tuli, Solito transforms Daisy’s male-dominated existence into a place where new ideas can thrive and prosper. U.S. Premiere. Screening Times FR. JAN 19 12:00 PM Egyptian Theatre, Park City SA. JAN 20 11:30 AM Library Center Theatre WE. JAN 24 8:30 PM Holiday Village Cinema II SA. JAN 27 3:30 PM Rose Wagner

Night of the Living Gay United States, 2006, color Director: Lola Rock’n’Rolla Screening Times WE. JAN 24 5:00 PM Brewvies, 677 S 200 W

Slamdance

faced with divorce, coming out as gay, and a joint suicide attempt forcing a brief separation between the two. This story gives an honest portrayal of their bond and ultimate redemption despite their family’s dismal past. Screening Times SU, JAN 21, 6:30pm Gallery Screening Room TU, JAN 23, 9:30pm Gallery Screening Room

SUPER AMIGOS Canada/Mexico, 2007, 82 min. Written & Directed by Arturo Perez Torres World Premiere Meet Super Barrio, Super Gay, Super Ecologista, Super Animal and Fray Tormenta. They are real-life masked crusaders, out to fight crime in Mexico City . Together they fight against some of the city’s worst criminals: corrupt government officials, homophobes, polluters, animal rights abusers, and poverty. MO. JAN. 22, 8:30pm Main Screening Room TH. JAN. 25, 6:30pm Gallery Screening Room

THE MALLORYS GO BLACK MARKET United States, 2007, 13 min. Directed by JoEllen Martinson & William Scott Rees Opening Night Short/World Premiere Three Big Apple fashionistas ship two suitcases worth of vintage clothing to fashion hungry Russian teens in a scheme to save them from fashionable ruin. FR. JAN. 19, 8:30pm Main Screening Room TU., JAN. 23, 10am Main Screening Room

OFF THE GRID: LIFE ON THE MESA United States, 2007, 70 min. Written & Directed by Jeremy Stulberg and Randy Stulberg World Premiere Amid the backdrop of a vast New Mexican desert, a group including dispirited Gulf War veterans, vagabonds, and lost youth band together to protect “the last part of America that is free.” Their extreme radical take on real American patriotism meets federal law head-on and their legal rights to produce and sell marijuana. Fight for your right to party! Screening Times FR., JAN 19, 4:30pm Gallery Screening RM MO., JAN 22, 12:30pm Gallery Screening RM

RED WITHOUT BLUE United States, 2007, 74 min. Written & Directed by Brooke Sebold, Benita Sills & Todd Sills World Premiere This film documents the turbulent lives of identical twin brothers, Mark and Alex, and the journey they go through after one decides to become a woman. At 14, the twins had already been

THE SADDEST BOY IN THE WORLD Canada, 2006, 13 min Directed by Jamie Travis US Premiere Being the saddest boy in the world is not easy for Timothy Higgins, but preparing himself for death is. SA, JAN. 20, 8:30pm Main Screening Room WE, JAN. 24, 3:30 Main Screening Room

THE FAMOUS JOE PROJECT United States, 2007, 16 min. Directed by Eli Rarey World Premiere In a grand attempt to spread love worldwide, a young man puts his web cam to great use and documents his sex life. SU., JAN. 21, 4:30pm Gallery Screening Room

THE CARESS OF THE CREATURE United States, 2006, 19 min. Directed by Stewart McAlpine World Premiere Just what exactly is this thing creeping about in Lake Habbagappee... with such a gentle touch? PROCESSING United States, 2007 Directed by Michael Lucid A furtive counselor takes a crack at reigniting a broken friendship between two people still squabbling over past issues. All times and locations are subject to change. Please check official festival publications.

Queer Lounge Returns to Park City, Changes Location The Queer Lounge returns for its fourth year to Park City during the Sundance, Slamdance and other-Dance film festivals. This year, the lounge has moved from its home of three years because the retail space it once occupied has been leased to year-round tenants. Ellen Huang, founder and executive director of the Lounge, said the “Queer Lounge is about spreading awareness of gay films and connecting gay artists with industry leaders. There’s still a lot of ghettoization and homophobia resulting in few gaythemed films that have the resources to crossover. Queer Lounge’s mission is to take gay film to a broad audience where it can impact the mainstream.” In 2006 Huang expanded the Lounge to include the Toronto International Film Festival in September. “We clearly rocked Toronto! Despite fierce competition among parties and events, everyone could not stop talking about Queer Lounge,” Huang said. The Shortbus premiere party was one of the most talked-about events at TIFF according to the Toronto Sun. Parker Posey, Lance Bass and Reichen Lehmkuhl, Jennifer Coolidge, Shawn Ashmore (X-Men: The Last Stand), L Word stars Daniela Sea and Bitch and

Queer Lounge Schedule Fri-Tues, January 19-23, 2007 OURCHART.COM Room

Silver King Hotel, 4th Floor — Adjacent to the Queer Lounge Open to All

Launched by Executive Producer, Ilene Chaiken, and stars Jennifer Beals, Leisha Haley and Katherine Moennig of “The L Word” series in conjunction with Showtime Networks, Ourchart.com is a new online social space for lesbians, their friends and families, featuring original filmed content and clips. In the “Ourchart.com Room,” filmmakers and Queer Lounge guests will have exclusive access to the executive team and contributors of Ourchart.com. Queer Lounge guests can also add to a fun photo display project themed just for Ourchart.com. More info to come.

Open to Film Professionals

The first of a series of Queer Lounge networking mixers featuring complimentary bar and beverages, takes place at the Silver King Hotel’s indoor/outdoor pool, and the Queer Lounge hospitality suite on the 4th floor; open to all queer and queer-friendly film professionals attending the Park City film festival. Space is limited; please arrive early. Sunday, January 21, 3:00pm Online & Original: Filmed Content on the Web

QUEER LOUNGE, Silver King Hotel, lower level conference room, 1485 Empire Avenue, Park City Open to All

YouTube and MySpace have exploded online social networking. Internet users design their own profiles and upload and view video clips. Producing creative content and sharing it with the masses is now more do-it-yourself than ever. Are there opportunities for home-grown filmmakers to find wide audiences? Will these kinds of web sites revolution the distribution of LGBT content? Our panelists — pioneers in entertainment and the next wave of online social spaces for

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members of the Toronto Symphony Orchestra. This year in Park City, the Lounge will be at the Silver King Hotel in the lower level conference room, 1485 Empire Avenue. During daytime hours, the Lounge is open to the public and two panels will be presented. See the schedule below.

LGBT users — discuss possibilities for creative expression on the web. Confirmed panelists: MATT FARBER, founder of the LOGO network and GLEE.Com, a new internet site for LGBT professional and social networking, FENTON BAILEY, co-director “The Eyes of Tammy Faye,” and partner at World of Wonder, streaming original documentary and filmed content, and members of the L WORD cast and/or crew, innovators of Ourchart.com, a new social space for lesbians and their friends and families. Monday, January 22, 3:00pm The Religious Agenda: Gays, Faith & Film

QUEER LOUNGE, Silver King Hotel, lower level conference room, 1485 Empire Avenue, Park City Open to All

With the country and religious institutions divided about homosexuality, two of this year’s films at Sundance are sure to stir up controversy — “Save Me,” starring Chad Allen, Robert Gant & Judith Light and the documentary “For the Bible Tells Me So” featuring Bishop Gene Robinson, Dick Gephardt and daughter Chrissy & the Archbishop Desmond Tutu. Both films deal with the religious agenda for homosexuals, and each film is a fair-minded look at many sides of the issue: what are the Bible’s literal and interpreted views on homosexuality; what are the boundaries of right, wrong and humane, and how do culture and mass media, in the U.S. and around the world, affect our perceptions of religion and gays. Panelists: Members of the cast and crew of “Save Me” and “For the Bible Tells Me So” and other special guests TBA. Tuesday, January 23, 2007 | 5:00pm-7:00pm Poolhouse Mixer Open to Film Professionals

A Queer Lounge networking mixer featuring complimentary bar and beverages, takes place at the Silver King Hotel’s indoor/outdoor pool, and the Queer Lounge hospitality suite on the 4th floor; open to all queer and queer-friendly film professionals attending the Park City film festival. Space is limited; please arrive early.

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Pick us up the first Friday of every month.

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Saturday, January 20, 2007 5:00pm-7:00pm Poolhouse Mixer

celeblogger Perez Hilton were just a few of the stars who turned out for an evening of go-go dancers and over-thetop live performances by the cast of Shortbus joined by indie bands Hidden Cameras, Gentleman Reg, Kids on TV, the acrobatic Wau Wau Sisters and

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Contents

KRCL 90.9 FM Your Source For QUEER News & Issues

JANUARY 16-31, 2007

Every year in Park City it seems there are more and more films with queer content. Inside is this year’s list of “don’t-miss” films and a guide to the Queer Lounge. Page 19

Bisexual Awareness Month Events, Page 9 Queers and Our Pets, Page 18 World and National News. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Local News . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 10 10 10 12 13 13 14 15 17

Arts & Entertainment The Gay Agenda, our calendar. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coming on DVD. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . In Search of.... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Restaurant Review . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dining Guide. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hollywood Buzz. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Crossword Puzzle. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Get the Nurse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Comics. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sudoku. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Community Guide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Classifieds. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Opinion From the Editor. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Letters. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Editorial Cartoon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lambda Lore . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mountain Meadow Mascara with Ruby Ridge. . . . . . . . . Guest Editorial from Stuart Merrill. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . New Columnist Ruth Hackford-Peer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . New Columnist Troy Williams . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . News Quiz. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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News FROM AROUND THE WORLD

Canadian Court Approves Lesbian’s Third Parent Status

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Ben-Ami said in a media statement. However, Laurel Rothman, director of social reform at the Family Services Association of Toronto, which worked with the applicant’s legal counsel during the case, applauded the decision. “The situation basically recognizes the changing face of families in Canada in the beginning of the twenty-first century,” Rothman said. “The law is catching up to the reality of families in modern-day Ontario.” Same-sex marriage has been legal in Ontario since 2003, and across Canada since 2005.

By Troy Espera

Oregon’s Gay Sheep Experiment is Baaaad, UK Gay Activists Say

Toronto — A Canadian high court ruled this week that a five-year-old Ontario boy can have two mothers and a father, a landmark case that is sparking new arguments regarding the rights of parents in same-sex relationships. In a recent ruling, the Ontario Court of Appeal said the female partner of the child’s biological mother could be legally recognized as the boy’s third parent. The biological father, named on the boy’s birth certificate, is a friend of both women and is taking an active role in the child’s life. “It is contrary to (the child’s) best interests that he is deprived of the legal recognition of the parentage of one of his mothers,” Justice Marc Rosenberg wrote in the ruling. “Perhaps one of the greatest fears faced by lesbian mothers is the death of the birth mother ... without a declaration of parentage or some other order, the surviving partner would be unable to make decisions for their minor child.” The two women, who have been together since 1990, told the court they did not want to adopt the child because it meant the father would lose his status as a parent. “It’s an important precedent because the legislature has not kept the legislation up to date,” said Peter Jervis, one of the lawyers for the applicant referred to only as “A.A.” “The court has basically said that it would step in to recognize this woman as the mother of her child ... and would treat her equally,” said Jervis. Ruth Ross, executive director of the Christian Legal Fellowship, told the National Post that she wondered where courts would draw the line now that judges had granted parental status to those who do not share DNA with a child. The group was part of the Alliance for Marriage and the Family, a coalition of religious and conservative groups that had intervenor status in the case. Ross said they have not ruled out appealing the decision. “Can one or two step-parents now apply for legal status as a parent and ultimately lead to four or even six parents being recognized by the courts as having say over the child’s upbringing?” she said to the Post, dubbing such a scenario “parenting by committee.” The court ruling risks heightening the already heart-rending family warfare already playing itself out in family courts across the country, Ross said. The Institute for Canadian Values, which opposes a 2005 law allowing samesex marriage in Canada, dismissed the ruling as an act of “naked judicial activism.” “The court saw this case as an opportunity to entrench so-called alternative family structures in law without submitting the idea to the rigors of the legislative process,” executive director Joseph

London — Scientists in Oregon are conducting experiments to change the sexuality of “gay” sheep in a program that critics fear could pave the way for breeding out homosexuality in humans. The technique being developed by researchers at Oregon State University in the city of Corvallis and at the Oregon Health and Science University in Portland adjusts the hormonal balance in the brains of homosexual rams so that they are more inclined to mate with ewes. It raises the prospect that pregnant women could one day be offered a treatment to reduce or eliminate the chance that their offspring will be homosexual. Experts say that, in theory, the “straightening” procedure on humans could be as simple as a hormone supplement for mothers-to-be, worn on the skin like an anti-smoking nicotine patch. The research has caused an outcry. Lesbian tennis icon Martina Navratilova, who won Wimbledon nine times, along with scientists and gay rights campaigners in Britain have called for the project to be abandoned. Navratilova defended the “right” of sheep to be gay. “How can it be that in the year 2006 a major university would host such homophobic and cruel experiments?” she said in a media statement issued in late December. She said gay men and lesbians would be “deeply offended” by the social implications of the tests. UK gay rights campaigner Peter Tatchell declared: “These experiments echo Nazi research in the early 1940s which aimed at eradicating homosexuality. They stink of eugenics. There is a danger that extreme homophobic regimes may try to use these experimental results to change the orientation of gay people.” Udo Schuklenk, Professor of Bioethics at Glasgow Caledonian University, who wrote to the researchers pressing them to stop, also said, “I don’t believe the motives of the study are homophobic, but their work brings the terrible possibility of exploitation by homophobic societies. Imagine this technology in the hands of Iran, for example. It is typical of the US to ignore the global context in which this is taking place.” But the researchers argue that the work is valid, shedding light on the “broad question” of what determines sexual orientation. They insist the work is not aimed at “curing” homosexuality. “It’s a touchy issue. In fact, several studies have shown that people who believe homosexuality is biologically based are less homophobic than people who think that this orientation is acquired,” said professor Charles Roselli, the Health and Science University biologist heading the research program.

By Anthony Cuesta

Ford Remembered as Supporter of Same‑Sex Couples

Mass. Same-Sex Marriage Amendment May Reach ’08 Ballot Boston — On Jan. 2, Massachusetts gave initial approval for a proposed amendment which would ban same-sex marriage in that state. Sixty-two lawmakers out of two hundred wanted the controversial amendment. At one point, lawmakers voted a second time, but the results were practically the same as the first, with only one person switching sides. Just fifty people were required to say yes for the amendment to advance. Should the amendment be endorsed in an upcoming legislative session, it will appear on the 2008 ballot. If the amendment makes it onto the ballot and residents approve it, it will leave Massachusetts’ 8,000 existing gay marriages intact but ban any new ones.

President Ford during an assassination attempt which was thwarted by gay former Marine Oliver Sipple (inset, left).

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Los Angeles, Calif. — In a Dec. 30 syndicated column, writer Clarence Page remembered former President Gerald Ford as a man who “did not shrink away from controversy. When he felt the time was right for him to speak out, he said things that were worth hearing, even if it displeased his more conservative partisans on such hot-button issues as abortion and civil rights, including gay rights.” The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force further explained Ford’s position when they issued a press release on Dec. 27. In that release, Matt Foreman, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, praised the president as a fierce supporter of same-sex couples’ rights. “When, in 2001, he said, ‘I think they [same-sex couples] should be treated equally. Period,’ he became the highest-ranking Republican ever to publicly support equal treatment for our families,” said Foreman. Ford made this statement during an interview with Deb Price, a well-known queer columnist for the Detroit News. As EDGE Boston noted about that same article, “He [said] that same-sex couples should receive the same economic benefits as married couples, such as Social Security and tax deductions. ‘I don’t see why they shouldn’t. I think that’s a proper goal,’ Ford said at the time.” Foreman also explained how Ford distinguished himself from other conservative Republicans. “Because he espoused true conservative values,” said Foreman, “he consistently advocated for the rights of individuals and condemned those who sought to impose conformity of thought and behavior.” In the Force’s press release, Ford was also remembered by Foreman as a supporter of other important causes. “Ford’s beliefs,” said Foreman, “led him to support women’s rights and to publicly support federal legislation to prohibit anti-gay discrimination in employment.” In addition, the Log Cabin Republicans, a gay political group, remembered in their statement regarding Ford’s passing, that he joined a gay-straight alliance within the Republican Party. “Ford’s decision to join [a] board [within the alliance] marked the first time a past or current U.S. president had joined an organization advocating for gay equality,” EDGE Boston noted. Ford died Monday, Dec. 26th at age 93.

Those against same-sex marriage were happy with the outcome of this first legislative session. “This is democracy in action,” Kris Mineau of the conservative group Massachusetts Family Institute said. Mineau added, “It’s not a vengeance campaign. It’s not a hate campaign. It’s just an opportunity for the people to vote.” 170,000 signatures were compiled by those opposing gay marriage so the amendment would appear on the ballot next year. At first, lawmakers avoided addressing the issue entirely, running the risk that the amendment would just die out. But last week, the Supreme Judicial Court told them they’d “shirked their constitutional duties by refusing to vote on an amendment submitted by the people.” Deval Patrick, an activist and the Democratic Governor-elect tried to keep the amendment from going to a vote, but ultimately failed.

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News from around the NATION Subway Restaurant Owner Settles Former Joint Chiefs of Staff Chair Lawsuit with HIV-Positive Manager Speaks Out Against â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Askâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Las Vegas â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Lambda Legal recently settled a lawsuit filed in the United States District Court for the District of Nevada, Las Vegas division, on behalf of a man who was fired by a Subway restaurant owner because he has HIV. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The law is very clear that employers canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t fire people simply because they have HIV,â&#x20AC;? said Jen Sinton, HIV Project staff attorney at Lambda Legal. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sound science shows if someone with HIV is able to work, there is no reason why they canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t work in the food service industry. Improving science literacy around HIV transmission is crucial to the struggle to end AIDS.â&#x20AC;? The settlement between Robert Hickman and Donna Curry Investments is fully executed. Among other things included in the settlement, the company agreed that its written policies will explicitly state it does not discriminate against any qualified individuals with HIV. Additionally, all managers and employees in supervisory roles will be trained on how HIV is transmitted, thereby putting to rest any concern about HIV transmission in the food service industry, and they will be instructed regarding the legal obligation not to discriminate against existing or potential employees based on HIV or AIDS. According to the Nevada State Health Division, although Nevada has the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 35th largest population, it ranks 14th in the nation for the rate of adolescents and adults living with AIDS. Lambda Legal represents Hickman, who was hired by Donna Curry Investments as a store manager and began work at Subway restaurants owned by the company in Henderson and Las Vegas on Nov. 3, 2004. After three months on the job, Hickman became eligible for employer-sponsored health insurance. Because the health insurance application requested information about his HIV status, Hickman asked his employer if he would be denied insurance because he has HIV. The owner of the company fired Hickman the following day, Feb. 4, 2005, because she believed he posed a danger to customers. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m gratified that my former employer has taken to heart that discrimination against people with HIV is wrong and has agreed to have new policies and training,â&#x20AC;? said Hickman. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Employers must learn what the CDC already knows: 25 years of scientific study confirm there is no known risk of HIV transmission to customers or anyone else through the normal course of business at a restaurant.â&#x20AC;? Hickman v. Donna Curry Investments, LLC et al. (doing business as Subway) is part of Lambda Legalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Blow The Whistleâ&#x20AC;? campaign to end discrimination against LGBT people and those with HIV in the workplace. At Lambda Legalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Blow the Whistleâ&#x20AC;? campaign website (www.lambdalegal.org/btw), visitors can learn how to share their own stories of workplace discrimination or become an ally to others in the campaign.

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Washington, DC â&#x20AC;&#x201D; In an op-ed published in The New York Times on Jan. 2, John M. Shalikashvili, retired Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, says Congress should give â&#x20AC;&#x153;serious reconsiderationâ&#x20AC;? to â&#x20AC;&#x153;Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Ask, Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Tell,â&#x20AC;? the ban on openly lesbian, gay and bisexual military personnel. Shalikashvili, who supported the ban on open service in 1993, writes that â&#x20AC;&#x153;I now believe that if gay men and lesbians served openly in the United States military, they would not undermine the efficacy of the armed forces,â&#x20AC;? and goes on to say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Our military has been stretched thin by our deployments in the Middle East, and we must welcome the service of any American who is willing and able to do the job.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Ask, Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Tellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; is out of step with both the American public and those within our armed forces,â&#x20AC;? said C. Dixon Osburn, executive director of Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN). â&#x20AC;&#x153;The counsel of military leaders increasingly supports repeal of the law. Congress must, as General Shalikashvili urges, consider the overwhelming evidence of the past fourteen years. If they do, the clear answer is that we must lift the ban.â&#x20AC;? Shalikashvili, who was Chairman of the Joint Chiefs from 1993 to 1997, joins other senior retired military officers who have called for repeal of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Ask, Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Tell.â&#x20AC;? In May 2006, Lieutenant General Claudia Kennedy, USA (Ret.), the first female three-star officer in Army history, called the law â&#x20AC;&#x153;a hollow policy that serves no useful purpose.â&#x20AC;? Lieutenant General Daniel W. Christman, former superintendent of West Point, recently told The New York Times, â&#x20AC;&#x153;It is clear that national attitudes toward this issue have evolved considerably in the last decade. This has been led by a new generation of service members who take a more relaxed and tolerant view toward homosexuality.â&#x20AC;? And Retired Admiral John Hutson, who currently serves as Dean of Franklin Pierce Law School, also recently wrote that â&#x20AC;&#x153;It would be a great tragedy if we didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take advantage of [the] chance to correct a flawed policy.â&#x20AC;? In 2003, two retired generals and an admiral â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;came outâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; in The New York Times, and in November 2006 fourteen senior retired military officers urged the First Circuit Court of Appeals to overturn the ban. They wrote that the law â&#x20AC;&#x153;undermines the militaryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ability to fulfill its primary mission of providing national security by discouraging the enlistment of gay persons qualified to serve their country and by expelling from the military those who have served with honor.â&#x20AC;? In the op-ed, General Shalikashvili writes, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Last year I held a number of meetings with gay soldiers and marines, including some with combat experience in Iraq, and an openly gay senior sailor who was serving effectively as a member of a nuclear submarine crew. These conversations showed me just how much the military has changed, and that gays and lesbians can be accepted by their peers.â&#x20AC;? A Dec. 18 Zogby poll also found that 73 percent of military personnel were comfortable with lesbians and gays. â&#x20AC;&#x153;General Shalikashviliâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s statement is the first by a Joint Chiefs Chairman to call for repeal, and as such is enormously significant,â&#x20AC;? said Osburn. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Pentagon has dismissed more than 11,000 men and women under this law.â&#x20AC;?

GLAAD Names 2006’s Worst Anti‑Gay Offenders

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Washington DC — The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation identified several of the worst media and anti-gay voices specific to a series of egregious acts of defamation against the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community in 2006. GLAAD President Neil G. Giuliano has put the media on notice to stop all anti-gay rhetoric that has fed a climate of hatred and prejudice against queer Americans. “Every day, LGBT people are viciously attacked and slandered by those who create and or profit from anti-gay messages,” said Giuliano. “Such expressions of intolerance clearly have an impact on how people treat members of our community.” When these acts occur, GLAAD works with reporters, editors and bookers and producers to ensure their stories are fair and accurate, and speaks out publicly as an authoritative voice of anti-defamation of the LGBT community. Among the anti-Gay offenders is Time magazine for publishing Focus on Family’s James Dobson misleading claims about gay and lesbian families. Following widespread media coverage of the announcement that Mary Cheney, daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney, is pregnant, Time made the unusual misstep of inviting antigay fundamentalis Dobson to contribute a column that, unsurprisingly, contained significant misrepresentations. “The amazing and unprecedented visibility of our lives and the issues we face every day makes it imperative that GLAAD respond decisively to such blatant bigotry,” said Giuliano. “Every day, we are on the front lines of the fight to change hearts and minds, in sometimes easy, sometimes heartbreaking circumstances. The media has a responsibility to make certain our voices are heard and our community is visible. This will be achieved when we convince those around us that our lives and our relationships deserve nothing less than full equality and respect.” Also included on the hit list is New York Post cartoonist Sean Delonas who published two defamatory editorial cartoons in October 2006. The first depicted a man carrying a sheep wearing a bridal veil to a “New Jersey Marriage Licenses” window and the second featured former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey “comforting” former Rep. Mark Foley. The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) is dedicated to promoting and ensuring fair, accurate and inclusive representation of people and events in the media as a means of eliminating homophobia and discrimination based on gender identity and sexual orientation.

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News FROM AROUND THE STATE

Nelson Seeks Sodomy Law Repeal Although the US Supreme Court nullified state sodomy laws in the landmark 2003 case Lawrence v. Texas, Utah still has its law on the books. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s something David Nelson wants to change. After waiting three years for gay and gay-friendly Utah lawmakers to set in motion a promised bill to strike the law, Nelson, president of Stonewall Shooting Sports, decided to give them some encouragement. Earlier this year he drafted an online petition which he ultimately plans to present to Utah lawmakers. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Our petition takes back the moral authority about this issue,â&#x20AC;? he said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Our leaders have failed to act on their own, so the petitioners are telling them to act.â&#x20AC;? None of Utahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s soon-to-be three openly gay legislators have moved to draft such a bill or stated that they would support one, including state Rep. Jackie Biskupski. According to Nelson, Biskupski promised to do so on June 26, 2003, just hours after the Supreme Court struck down sodomy laws as unconstitutional. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I heard ... Biskupski at the court-ruling rally on the Utah Capitol steps make her less-than-courageous promise to sponsor the bill â&#x20AC;&#x153;if none of [her] colleaguesâ&#x20AC;? did so,â&#x20AC;? Nelson said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We have paid gay lobbyists, a gay political-action committee and gay party caucuses, but still no one has sponsored it. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like to know when these political

leaders believe would be a better time to sponsor this bill,â&#x20AC;? he continued. â&#x20AC;&#x153;When they sponsor bills like state Rep. David Litvackâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dating-violence bill that reaffirm the sodomy law, however unenforceable it is, they show their willingness to recriminalize us while telling us to â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;understandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;wait.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? Litvakâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bill, HB 28, seeks to define dating violence in part by the sexual offenses listed under Title 76, Chapter 5, Part 4 of Utah law code. Sodomy is still listed here, and is defined as â&#x20AC;&#x153;any sexual act with a person who is 14 years of age or older involving the genitals of one person and mouth or anus of another person, regardless of the sex of either participant.â&#x20AC;? It is still listed as a Class B misdemeanor. In his January 1 column in QSaltLake, Nelson argued that even though sodomy laws are unenforceable, Litvakâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bill could be used to expose gay and lesbian couples to â&#x20AC;&#x153;abuse by lawâ&#x20AC;? through such things as the issuing of restraining orders to gay and lesbian couples. Restraining orders can only be revoked by a state judge and remain on a personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s record. Nelson said he hopes his petition will make lawmakers treat the repeal of Utahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sodomy laws as an important legal move, instead of simply cleaning up state code. â&#x20AC;&#x153;While theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve worked to protect others, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re still being told to wait our turn. If they expect our help in electing them, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s right for us to expect their help in protecting us,â&#x20AC;? he said.

NELSONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S PROPOSED CHANGES TO Utahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sodomy Law 76-5-403. Sodomy â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Forcible sodomy. (1) A person commits sodomy when the actor engages in any sexual act with a person who is 14 years of age or older involving the genitals of one person and mouth or anus of another person, regardless of the sex of either participant. (2)(1) A person commits forcible sodomy when the actor engages in any sexual act with a person who is 14 years of age or older involving the genitals of one person and mouth or anus of another person, regardless of the sex of either participant commits sodomy upon another without the otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s consent. (3)(2) Sodomy is a class B misdemeanor. Forcible sodomy is a felony of the first degree. The petition is at petitiononline.com/utsodomy.

QUAC to Host Ski & Swim Weekend Queer Utah Aquatic Club will host its annual winter event on Presidents Day Weekend, Feb. 16â&#x20AC;&#x201C;18. The Ski & Swim Weekend combines such traditional Utah winter sports as ice skating, snowshoeing, skiing and cross-country with a water polo tournament, a synchronized swimming exhibition and a sanctioned swim meet. Parties, dinners and the ice show â&#x20AC;&#x153;Quacapades on Ice!â&#x20AC;? will also be part of the three-day event. The Ski & Swim Weekend is part of the International Gay and Lesbian Aquatics calendar and includes gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and straight swimmers from across the nation. All adult swimmers are invited to participate regardless of age, ability, sex, gender identification or sexual orientation. Hilton Salt Lake City Center (255 S. West Temple) will serve as the host hotel. For reservations call (877)776-4936 and use promotional code â&#x20AC;&#x153;QAC.â&#x20AC;? Rooms are $109 per night and 30 have been reserved.

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For more information, including a complete schedule of events, visit myspace.com/quacskinswim. To register for the weekend go to www.quacquac.org/ski-n-swim. To learn

Center Offers Financial Literacy Classes Multi-Ethnic Development Corporation, which seeks to offer housing, employment and educational opportunities to culturally and ethnically diverse populations, will offer four classes on topics ranging from identity theft to banking and individual development accounts at the Utah Pride Center in January, February and March. No reservation is needed to attend these free classes, which will cover the following topics:

Money & Banking January 22, 2007 at 6:30 pm This session will examine monetary and financial instruments, institutions, +% 3!,4 ,!

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Hosted housing is also available for registered participants.

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policies, and usability from the perspectives of theory and practice. Participants will also be provided with a practical understanding of the issues that affect their financial future. They will explore the key factors related to savings, budgeting, debt, taxes, investing, insurance, retirement planning and more.

Management of Personal Finance & Home Ownership February 5, 2007 at 6:30 pm This session will provide participants with tools in budgeting, consumer borrowing, use of savings accounts, life insurance, other types of family insurance, income taxes, home ownership, investing in stocks and bonds and estate planning. Individual Development Account February 26, 2007 at 6:30 pm This session will teach strategies designed to help people with modest incomes save to start or grow a business, purchase a home, or pay for post-secondary education through a matching savings program. This program is provided through Individual Development Account Network, which shall assist the participants in the important steps on the path that leads to financial self-sufficiency. IDA accounts are matched savings accounts that enable individuals to save, build assets, and enter the financial mainstream. Identity Theft March 12, 2007 at 6:30 This session will teach participants not only help protect their identities from thieves, but how to restore their good names and credit if they do become victims of identity theft. Those with questions about programming or who have special needs should phone MEDCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s office at 521-2991 and ask for Troy. For more information about Multi-Ethnic Development Corporation visit medc-utah.org/index.html.

Center Announces First Bisexual Awareness Month

by JoSelle Vanderhooft joselle@qsaltlake.com

Shauna Brock didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t exactly intend to become a leader in Utahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bisexual community, but thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s exactly what happened when she approached the Utah Pride Center about starting a bisexual group. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I asked [director of adult programs] Jennifer Nuttall and she said â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;no, and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve volunteered to start one,â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? laughed Brock, who began the Bisexual Community Forum in September 2005 with her brother, Jay. Both identify as bisexual. Roughly a year and a half later, Brock found herself in another unexpected role â&#x20AC;&#x201D; helping to create the Centerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first Bisexual Awareness Month. Like the group, she sees this event as integral to giving a voice to a sexuality that is often misunderstood and undiscussed. Modeled after the Centerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s annual Transgender Awareness Month held each November, this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bisexual Awareness Month will include a book discussion, a film and a panel discussion about identifying as bisexual in Utah. As January is typically a slower time for the Center, Nuttall said that it was an ideal month to add additional programing for an under-served

Q uotes â&#x20AC;&#x153;I have cared for hundreds of gay patients and I have treated them with the same respect as anyone else.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Salt Lake City mayoral candidate J. Preston Hughes in an address to the press announcing his candidacy. SALTÂ LAKEÂ TRIBUNE

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I know Mary. And I like her, and I know sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gonna be a fine, loving mother.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;President George W. Bush on Mary Cheneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pregnancy.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dick and I are both very much looking forward to this new baby.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Lynne Cheney, wife of U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney, on the pregnancy of their lesbian daughter Mary FOX NEWS SUNDAY

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Have you gotten a good look at Heather Poe?â&#x20AC;?

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I think [gays] ought to be treated equally, period. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t see why they shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t [get the same Social Security, tax and other federal benefits as married couples]. I think thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a proper goal. I have a longstanding record in favor of legislation to do away with discrimination.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Former U.S. President Gerald R. Ford in 2001 DETROIT NEWS

â&#x20AC;&#x153;It was a very stressful experience. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a pretty private person.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Philosphy professor Jeffrey Nielsen on the press coverage of his firing from Brigham Young University after writing an editorial questioning the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saintsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; position on gay marriage. SALT LAKE TRIBUNE

he finds out sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a lesbian. Or is she? One of the first movies to really talk about what itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s like to dare to seek love outside of the labels.

Thursday, January 12, 7-8:30 Join the Bi-Community group for an open panel discussion about what itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s like to be bi, especially in Utah. Participants from the Bi-Community group will be on hand to talk about tolerance, understanding, love, and to answer any questions you might have. Refreshments will be served.

Thursday, January 25 The Queer Reader: Bi America. Myths, Truths, and Struggles of an Invisible Community by: William E. Burleson There are at least five million bisexual people in America, generally invisible to straight society, the gay community, and even to one another. While the vast majority of these five million live within the straight or gay world, a few have formed a community of their own. Bi America: Myths, Truths, and Struggles of an Invisible Community offers an inside look at the American bisexual community and gives an understanding of the social circumstances unique to being bisexual.

Tuesday, January 23 The Film & Discussion Series presents: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Chasing Amyâ&#x20AC;? Holden and Banky are comic book artists. Everythingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s going good for them until they meet Alyssa, also a comic book artist. Holden falls for her, but his hopes are crushed when

The Bisexual Community Forum meets on the second Thursday of each month at 7:00 p.m. in the Utah Pride Center multi-purpose room. It is open to adults 18 and over and their loved ones, whether or not they identify as bisexual. The group also regularly meets for monthly socials, coffee nights and picnics. Visit groups.yahoo.com/group/1to5club.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Civil unions, yes; partnership benefits, yes; obviously all the other antidiscrimination stuff, yes. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a jump for me to get to gay marriage and I havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t yet gotten across that bridge, but it is something that I struggle with.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Presidential hopeful John Edwards announcing his candidacy.

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;As much as the social conservatives might not like to hear it, there will be a time when your grandchildren say: â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;What was the argument with gay marriage? Who cares?â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Retiring openly-gay U.S. Rep. Jim Kolbe, R-Ariz. TUSCON CITIZEN

â&#x20AC;&#x153;When I speak of free agency, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just mean that each person can do what they want to do, I mean that our society should allow people to make their own choices and live by their own beliefs.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Mass. governor Mitt Romney in 1994 during his run for U.S. Senate. BAY WINDOWS

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Today, same-sex couples are marrying under the law in Massachusetts. Some are actually having children born to them. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not right on paper. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not right in fact. Every child has the right to have a mother and a father.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Presidential candidate Mitt Romney today.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Gay marriage: Everyone has a constitutional right to be nagged by a spouse.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Salt Lake Tribune columnist/Mock presidential candidate Robert Kirby on one of his campaign platform planks.

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J A N U A R Y 16 , 2 0 0 7 ď Ž â&#x20AC;&#x201A; I S S U E 7 0 ď Ž â&#x20AC;&#x201A; Q S A LT L A K E ď Ž â&#x20AC;&#x201A;

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Dan Savage on criticism Vice President Dick Cheneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s daughter, Mary and her partner of 15 years, Heather Poe, have gotten from the ultra-conservatives on bringing a â&#x20AC;&#x153;fatherless childâ&#x20AC;? into the world.

section of Utahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s queer community. Nuttall, who helped Brock plan the month, said an additional goal of Bisexual Awareness Month is to educate others about bisexual issues. â&#x20AC;&#x153;There are so many misconceptions about it,â&#x20AC;? Nuttall said. Upcoming events will be the Film and Discussion Series screening of Kevin Smithâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Chasing Amy Jan. 23 and the Queer Readerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s discussion of William E. Burlesonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s book Bi America: Myths, Truths, and Struggles of an Invisible Community on Jan. 25. Both Brock and Nuttall said they have plans to make Bisexual Awareness Month a yearly event. â&#x20AC;&#x153;As long as there is interest in the community and people to organize it, it can continue and grow. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s my hope for it,â&#x20AC;? said Nuttall.

Bisexual Awareness Month Events

1 0 â&#x20AC;&#x201A; ď Ž â&#x20AC;&#x201A; Q S A LT L A K E â&#x20AC;&#x201A; ď Ž â&#x20AC;&#x201A; I S S U E 7 0 â&#x20AC;&#x201A; ď Ž â&#x20AC;&#x201A; J A N U A R Y 16 , 2 0 0 7

Opinion From the Editor New & Improved by Michael Aaron michael@qsaltlake.com

I have friends that hate the phrase â&#x20AC;&#x153;new and improved.â&#x20AC;? What is it? New or improved, it canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be both, they say. I suppose they may be right, but I insist that this issue of QSaltLake is new and improved.

NEW We have several new columnists who have joined us beginning with this or the last issue. Last issue we brought you David Samsel and this issue we bring you Ruth Hackford-Peer. We were so impressed with their entries in our essay contest for the Allies Dinner, we asked them to come onboard. Troy Williams, host of Now Queer This on KRCL 91FM, joins us with his column titled â&#x20AC;&#x153;Queer Gnosis.â&#x20AC;? He will be bringing us interviews with queer visionaries and celebrities each issue. We also brought back Paul Bergâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s editorial cartoons, a queer-themed crossword puzzle and the comic strip â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Couple of Guysâ&#x20AC;? that we once brought

you when we were Salt Lake Metro. JoSelle Vanderhooft has expanded her role in QSaltLake, joining us as assistant editor. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m looking forward to all the extra sleep Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m going to get with her taking on a good chunk of my workload. JoSelle has been with us since day one back in April, 2004, when we published our first issue. You can see her and her cat in our feature called â&#x20AC;&#x153;Queers and Our Pets.â&#x20AC;?

IMPROVED With JoSelle helping out, we will be able to focus more on the local news, especially as the 2007 Legislative Session begins on Capitol Hill. You may have noticed we have expanded to 40 pages, allowing us more room for features, guest editorials and other expanded offerings. You might also notice that we gave our look an update. We figured that we have largely looked the same since we first set out to bring Salt Lake City a quality gay and lesbian newspaper. It was time for an update. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve responded to your request for a larger, more readable typeface, and have made our section labels easy to find by putting them in large black boxes. We hope you will comment on our changes and tell us what you like and what you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t so we can continue to improve. We need your help to make this a success. Please tell your advertisers you saw them here and encourage others to advertise with us. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s to another successful year!

Letters Stop Scapegoating Gays Editor, I am outraged that Brookes Colby Shumway at his parole hearing offered a new excuse for stabbing his friend 39 times in taking the life of 14-year-old Christopher Ray. The new â&#x20AC;&#x153;excuseâ&#x20AC;? was that, â&#x20AC;&#x153;He (Ray) came on to me ... sexually.â&#x20AC;? True or not, it is time for everyone to stop scapegoating gays for their own actions! It is NEVER acceptable to kill anther person because he â&#x20AC;&#x153;came on to me sexually.â&#x20AC;? This is the excuse offered by Matthew Sheppardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s two killers, and by Douglas C. Koehlerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s killers in Park

City a few years ago. In all these cases, the killers were given relatively light sentences for taking a life. If straight women were allowed to do the same, the singles bars and even churches would be littered with the bodies of men. It is time for society to recognize all life is sacred and no one has that right! I urge the parole board to keep Mr. Shumway locked up for a very long time. Steve Gardiner Salt Lake City

Idiotic Sputterings Editor, Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a toss-up whether the â&#x20AC;&#x153;In search of: A New Years Partyâ&#x20AC;? was disappointing or just a snide, amusing example of the stereotype of shallow, bitchy queens finding

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Chill Out Editor, To the “smaller” population, or those most commonly known as simple-minded people with so little of a sense of selfawareness and esteem that they don’t have the ability to “agree to disagree.” I’m talking to those who are so insecure in themselves, their background, or their own individuality that they, metaphorically, plant seeds within themselves just waiting anxiously for the next prime opportunity to CHOOSE to be offended by innocent and opinionated remarks. Now, let’s not sugar coat this. Notice I use the word “Choose” because we ultimately choose the way we react to others, and the effect we let them have on us. Now for a little background on my frustration; I am a 20 year old white female, born and raised in Utah. I am very open minded, and believe that when you give others the respect of allowing them their

views and opinions without judgment, they will most often do the same for you. At least that is what I’ve found through my experience. I read Mark and Chad’s column about the New Year’s festivities, as I have read several of their columns in the past. I enjoy their intriguing insights and sarcasm. Shortly after this “New Year’s” article was published, I overheard a conversation about it. These people were talking about how offensive the article was, calling it racist, weightist and chauvinistic. They commented on the use of the word “Pachanga” in the article and thought it rude of them to mention the obesity of the “Bears.” Come now, people! Is the Latin word for party or festival not “Pachanga”? Are the “Bears” not generally known for their size in stature? Not only that, but back to my first point. Don’t try to tell me for a second that if anyone were ever to approach ei-

ther of them out of offense to one of their witty remarks, that their first response wouldn’t be, “We each have the right to our opinion and should be able to laugh at ourselves.” Because when it comes to differentiated views, beliefs and opinions there is no right or wrong ... RIGHT! If that is truly the case, then maybe we should learn not to take offense so easily and act like it is okay to have varying opinions. Can’t we just chill out! It is NOT the end of the world as we know it! Let’s agree to disagree! Have a laugh! I promise it’s not going to kill you! Bonnie Houston Sandy QSaltLake welcomes letters from our readers. Please submit letters of up to 400 words to letters@qsaltlake.com. We reserve the right to edit for length and libel. Please include your name and phone number for verification.

J A N U A R Y 16 , 2 0 0 7  I S S U E 7 0  Q S A LT L A K E  11

nothing but petty digs against every gay bar in Salt Lake. I’m not sure if irony is the word, but the past court leader and club promoter have gone to every gay bar to beg for money for whatever cause they felt was worth their manipulative efforts, but to read their catty comments proves they are just spoiled brats. Does the phrase don’t poop where ya eat come to mind? What I don’t understand is why, when called to advertise the New Year’s parties at our local gay bars, you two chose to do it in a manner that screams you feel it a mark of “importance” to be able to talk down about those it’d be just as easy to support — and who’s support you’ve asked for before. I do understand, already having mentioned there are certain stereotypes in existence because of shallow fools like you to reinforce them. Mark, Chad, happy new year. And if you haven’t made resolutions yet, are you open to suggestions? Two words, you can share them: grow up. The bar owners work harder than you’ll ever acknowledge to give the community a variety of havens to congregate, get away, get together, to be places of whatever the patrons are seeking. Did you go to every bar you slammed or criticized to be able to prove your contention that “local bars will be the same as every other weekend”? Do you realize the Utah Dept. of Alcohol and Beverage Control reads papers like these, and if you were to get your way and be rid of all these places that bore you so, you’re slitting your own throats? You’re also acting as a voice for the rest of the community about the impression of our local gay and lesbian bars and clubs. I’m sure it goes without saying, but I can only assume you two need things explained: Your voice is not mine and your words are an embarrassment. Thank you to every gay business out there making names for themselves and giving me and mine what we ask for. Please forgive the idiotic sputterings of two lonely, bitter homos who don’t know how to do anything but complain. It stands to reason, Mark & Chad, that your pitiful attempts at slander against whom should be your brothers- and sisters-in-arms only invites the same kind of retaliatory attention directed at you. Those in glass empires shouldn’t throw stones. How unfortunate that a dishonest past court leader and a washed up “promoter” would choose to sling mud at the very community they are a part of. You are gay, right? I can’t help but laugh as I write this; hope you’re laughing too. What exactly are you finding fault with, or is this a smoke screen to mask your own insecurities and inferiority? Of course nothing can be demanded or even expected of you, but an apology to the bar owners and employees you tried to sabotage, as well as an admission to “speaking without thinking” could only improve your, um, image. If you get anything, let it be this: You are not the only voice or opinion of the gay community and my hope is to encourage those who have enough to struggle against without the poor stereotypes in our community unknowingly (or deliberately) making things harder for the rest. P.S. This will be the ONLY mention of what can only be taken as racial slurs against the gay Latino community: If you’ll allow the sarcasm, it’s “funny” to hear racism coming from a gay, black man. David Hurst Owner, Club Heads Up, Salt Lake City

12 â&#x20AC;&#x201A; ď Ž â&#x20AC;&#x201A; Q S A LT L A K E â&#x20AC;&#x201A; ď Ž â&#x20AC;&#x201A; I S S U E 7 0 â&#x20AC;&#x201A; ď Ž â&#x20AC;&#x201A; J A N U A R Y 16 , 2 0 0 7

Lambda Lore Kelbach and Lance by ben williams ben@qsaltlake.com

In mid-December, 1966, Myron Lance, 25, and Walter Kelbach, 28, allegedly murdered six people in cold blood in Salt Lake City, touching off a local reign of terror in the weeks before Christmas. Rarely mentioned (and never in local accounts of the crime) is the fact that the murderers were cousins and lovers. The horror began on a Saturday night, Dec. 17, when the pair, hopped-up on pills and wine, stopped for gas at a Kearns service station where 18-year-old Stephen Shea was working the night shift, alone. Impulsively, the convicts drew weapons, robbed the station of $147, and forced Shea into the back of their station wagon. The men drove the teenager out to Skull Valley in Tooele County where on a lonely desert road, the crazed cousins ordered Shea to strip. Their victim was forced to perform sex acts, after which Lance and Kelbach proceeded to rape the young man. The malignant pair then callously flipped a coin to decide which of them would kill Shea. The winner, Kelbach, plunged a stiletto knife into his victimâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s chest five times and then threw the body into a roadside ditch. The next night, on the eighteenth, the vile twosome kidnapped another lone filling station attendant. Michael Holtz, an 18-year-old West High senior, was abducted and taken to a remote spot near Wanship in Summit County. Holtz was also ordered to strip, and then raped by both of his abductors. Like Shea, Holtz was forced to watch while coins were tossed to choose his slayer. Lance won the toss and stabbed his victim once in the heart with the same stiletto. He was also stabbed five times but died from the stab wound to the heart. In the newspaper accounts of the deaths of the boys, incredulously, police officers reported that both Holtz and Shea â&#x20AC;&#x153;did not appear to have been sexually molested.â&#x20AC;? After a second body of a young service station attendant was found within two days, the police concluded that the two crimes were connected and issued a city-

wide order that all gas stations should be closed at nightfall. With gas stations closed at night the psychopaths had to change their modus operandi for robbing and killing their victims. Late on the night of Dec. 21, Kelbach and Lance flagged down taxi driver Grant Strong, and directed him to take them to the airport. After the cousins got into the back seat, they â&#x20AC;&#x153;exchanged sly glances and grinned wolfishly at each other,â&#x20AC;? making Strong wary of his passengers. He radioed his dispatcher and discreetly said that if he encountered problems, he would press his microphone talk-button twice. Moments later Kelbach drew a gun and pressed it to Strongâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s skull, demanding money as Strong pressed his talk button. The driver surrendered all his cash on hand, which only amounted to nine dollars. Irritated over the pittance, Kelbach put a bullet through his victimâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s brain. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I just pulled the trigger and blood flew everywhere,â&#x20AC;? he later told an NBC reporter. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Oh boy! I never seen so much blood!â&#x20AC;? The pair quickly bailed out of the taxi as police and fellow cabbies were converging on the scene. Too late, officers found Strong lying dead inside his cab. To make up for the low proceeds gained from the taxi robbery, Lance and Kelbach headed back into the city where they decided to rob a beer bar that was open late. Lallyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Beer Tavern, which was located at 867 West (the southeast corner of 9th West) and 400 South, was a ramshackle two-story brick building where men could play pool, pinball, have a drink, and pick up women, or other men. Acting casual, the criminals perused the bar and saw that there were only six people in the bar, including the bartender/manager. Kelbach toyed with a pinball machine while Lance casually walked up to 47-year-old James Sizemore who was also playing pinball. Lance then coolly

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shot Sizemore point blank in the head and shouted to the amazed patrons that it was a stickup. Pocketing $300 from the cash register, Lance and Kelbach randomly fired a stream of bullets into the bar as they left, hitting 34 years old Beverly Mace and 20-year-old Fred Lillie. Lillie was killed where he stood, five days shy of his 21st birthday, while Mace died days later of her injuries. Ironically Fred Lillieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mother remarked how Lillie told her before heading out to play pool at Lallyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, â&#x20AC;&#x153; those service station guys better watch out.â&#x20AC;? As Lance and Kelbach absconded, the manager, who had feigned being dead, retrieved a pistol from behind the bar and opened fire on the fleeing men. Having missed he then called the police. The killers were captured almost immediately at a road block in Parleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Canyon and brought to trial in April of 1967. The killers were only tried for the deaths of Sizemore and Lillie and not for the deaths of the others. This certainly spared the Shea and Holtzâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; families any grief that may have come from having to hear salacious police accounts of their sonsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; deaths. Lance and Kelbach were charged with first-degree murder. The judge and jury needed little time to arrive at a guilty verdict. Myron Lance and Walter Kelbach were sentenced to death after which charges brought in Summit and Tooele counties, in connection with the Shea and Holtz deaths, were dismissed. Utah offered the condemned prisoners their choice of execution; either be shot by firing squad or be hanged. Walter Kelbach, flipping a coin in a gruesome mocking of his young victimsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; fate, chose hanging, while Myron Lance chose the firing squad. Lance stated he did so because according to the Bible â&#x20AC;&#x153;if you live by gun, you should die by gun.â&#x20AC;? Neither Lance nor Kelbach were executed. Following a series of routine appeals,

Walter Kelbach adopted a 21-yearold fellow inmate named Ron Ziegler in 1977. In the â&#x20AC;&#x2122;70s, adult adoption was a practice of some gay men in an attempt to establish a legal relationship in lieu of civil unions or domestic partnership laws.

MLS

the U.S. Supreme Court in 1972 ruled that the death penalty was unconstitutional and the sentences of Lance and Kelbach were commuted to life in prison. As lifers, Lance and Kelbach were theoretically eligible for parole which was especially a concern to the residents of Utah. In 1972 Kelbach told an NBC News audience, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t any feelings toward the victims. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mind people getting hurt because I just like to watch it.â&#x20AC;? After capital punishment was reinstated in 1977, Utah state Attorney General Robert Hansen filed murder charges against the cousins for Michael Holtzâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s death, but a 5th Circuit Court judge found filing charges at such a late date violated Lance and Kelbachâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s constitutional rights. Fifteen years later in 1992, a board of pardons recommended that Lance and Kelbach spend the rest of their lives locked up â&#x20AC;&#x153;without consideration of parole by future boardsâ&#x20AC;?. Neither Kelbach nor Lance have ever expressed any remorse for their foul deeds. To date Kelbach and Lance are the longest incarcerated convicts in the Utah State Prison. As a footnote to this sorry tale, Walter Kelbach in March 1977, adopted a 21-yearold fellow inmate named Ron Ziegler. In the 1970â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, adult adoption was a practice of some gay men in an attempt to establish a legal relationship in lieu of civil unions or domestic partnership laws. Kelbachâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s attorney Jonathan King handled the adoption which was cleared by 3rd District Judge Stewart Hanson. Ziegler, an inmate serving a zero to five years sentence for attempted theft, was for six months Ron Kelbach. The adoption was revoked when Kelbach and Zieglerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s homosexual relationship came to the attention of prison officials. Ziegler was moved to another section of the prison where authorities there refused to let them visit each other. As the adoption was being overturned, Kelbach filed a lawsuit to visit Ziegler. However, the prison warden concluded that Kelbach and Ziegler, being wards of the state of Utah, had â&#x20AC;&#x153;negotiated the adoption without authority.â&#x20AC;? He claimed that they used the lawsuit as a gimmick to circumvent â&#x20AC;&#x153;inmate relationshipsâ&#x20AC;? so they could be permitted to be together. Kelbachâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lawyer unsuccessfully filed a federal court action to allow Kelbach to visit his newly acquired son, but by October the adoption had been voided.â&#x20AC;&#x201A; Q

Mountain Meadow Mascara We Three Queensâ&#x20AC;Ś. by Ruby Ridge ruby@qsaltlake.com

Happy New Year, Darlings! If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re like me, and I know deep down in your dark, secret places, you all really are, then the quiet weeks after New Year are a welcome respite from the living hell that is the Halloween-Thanksgiving-New Year holiday nightmare. Oh, peopleâ&#x20AC;Śdonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think that I dislike the festive season because I really donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just that it would be so much nicer if it were spread out over a few more months, so that you didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to have Martha Stewartsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; compulsion and a meth headâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s energy to get through the whole damn thing without screaming. I think you know what Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m trying to say. So, Cherubs, as if my mind wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t already frazzled and fragile, I learned in church today (thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Epiphany Sunday for you Godless hordes in Gomorrah, or Summit County) that Jesus was probably two years old when the wise men visited

Guest Editorial Thank Sen. Hatch By Stuart Merrill, Campaign To End AIDS-Utah

Was the little drummer boy Josephâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Boy Toy on the side that no one ever talked about? I just donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know! tor is ingesting psychedelic mushrooms in his office, or at least spiking the pot luck casseroles with contraband. Come to think of it, that may explain why the huge Christmas tree in the church leaned about four feet off center for the entire month of December, and not one person in the congregation said a word about it! Hmmm ... coincidence? OH, I DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T THINK SO!!! The nativity story and our rote as good as the answers we can find if we work together, but this can only work when we treat each other with mutual kindness and respect. While I was happy to see QSaltLakeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s coverage on the reauthorization of the Ryan White CARE Act, and your kind words of gratitude to Senator Kennedy, I was very disappointed that you neglected to thank the other co-sponsor of the bill, Utahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Senator Hatch. As president of the Campaign To End AIDS-Utah, I have worked very closely with Senator Hatch and his staff as we fought together to push this bill through Congress. As a life long Democrat, I found myself in the unusual position of looking to Senator Hatch to fight for our needs. In spite of the fact that the needs of small states like Utah were far more dire than the needs of the larger states, Democratic Senators such as Clinton and Schumer were fighting for even more money for the large states at our expense. Senator Hatch stepped up to the plate and became the tireless champion for the needs of

Christmas traditions bring up so many unanswered questions for me, Petals. Do they really have fully grown holly and ivy plants in the Israeli desert? Is figgy pudding really worth staging a sit-in for? Why wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Kurt Bestor die? Was the little drummer boy Josephâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Boy Toy on the side that no one ever talked about? I just donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know! Sometimes, I guess itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just better to let all of the questions go and simply enjoy the season as it comes. Speaking of enjoying the season â&#x20AC;ŚYou know how our local governments spend kazillions of dollars building elaborate athletic and cultural facilities, and still bitch about our declining sense of community? Well, today I was driving the Slut-Mobile down 13th East, and there in Sugarhouse Park were scores of families and children enjoying the simple pleasure of sledding on a snow covered hill with a gentle 30 degree slope. It was the most wonderfully nostalgic picture of laughing, happy families, glistening snow and bright blue clear skies. If it wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t for the diversity of the dark-toned Hispanic kids, or the lesbian couples parenting, it could have come straight out of a Currier and Ives painting. And THAT is the visual image that I will remember most fondly about this Christmas season, Darlings. Ciao, Babies! Ruby Ridge is one of the more opinionated members of the Utah Cyber Sluts, a Camp Drag group of performers who raise funds and support local charities. Her opinions are her own and fluctuate wildly due to irritability and watching the President acting as if

people with HIV/AIDS in smaller states. He didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take on this challenge because it would endear him to his base, nor did he have any illusions that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be getting our votes anytime soon. He did it because it was the right thing to do. I believe our community is making an error if we fail to express our gratitude to Senator Hatch for his work on this issue. I believe it is time we as an LGBT community look for ways to reach across the divide that is ruining our nation. I believe we, the victims, the scapegoats of the far right, must be seen bridging this gap with the good of our nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s future as our goal. While it is easy and even fun to demonize our opponents, it is time to search for the things we can accomplish together with them. It is time we look to our former adversaries with mutual kindness and respect and focus on what we have in common so we can move forward as a nation in these challenging times. Senator Hatch extended his hand to our community; we need to swallow our grudge and show him our gratitude.

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At the very height of our nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s power in world history, our most destructive adversary has become us. Or better stated: each other. As a nation, we have cultivated a habit of savagely demonizing our political and ideological opponents within our own country. I believe this is undermining the very foundation of our great democracy. Yes, the LGBT community has been unjustly savaged by many of our adversaries â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the Eagle Forum comes to mind. However, when we lash back with the same amount of venom, we too are a part of the problem. As a political advocate, I am personally thrilled to see this era of vicious partisanship giving way to period of healing. It is my ardent hope that this new age in the American dialogue will be defined by mutual kindness and respect. As we mourn the loss of one of our Presidents, Gerald Ford, a story he used to tell comes to mind. When, then Congressman Ford was the Republican minority leader, one of his closest friends was the Democratic majority leader. They would often share a cab to the Capitol building and on the way decide what they wanted to argue about that day. These two men had genuine differences in their ideas of what was best for our country. Though their opinions may have differed, their friendship was grounded in the common knowledge that both men wanted what was best. For the good of our nation, they raised themselves above the partisanship of the Watergate era. They believed, as I do, that democracy can be magic. No group on the left, or on the right, can come up with a solution

him, and he probably wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t in Bethlehem at all by then, but had most likely gone back with his parents to Jerusalem. And then, Pumpkins, to top it all off, the whole â&#x20AC;&#x153;We Three Kingsâ&#x20AC;? thing is probably bogus because the wise men were essentially Persian voodoo practitioners ... they werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Kings at all! Needless to say, Muffins, my spiritual world view, being based entirely upon a $1.99 Hallmark card version of the nativity story, was completely rocked! Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m convinced my pas-

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In high school I was a waitress at a family restaurant. Arguably the best restaurant in town (it was small-town Utah), it was the sort of joint that survived from lack of competition, being a part of small-town tradition and Americansâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; love for grease, sodium, and carbohydrates. The owner seemed to think of himself as a bit better than the oilfield hands that frequented the spot. That attitude trickled down to the staff like Reaganomics. We waitresses took on the bragging rights of memorizing orders instead of writing them down. This was a great feat considering the large families that ate hamburgers there. I developed my own method of memorizing orders. A tool I called â&#x20AC;&#x153;the ranch dressing method.â&#x20AC;? The premise was simple. I would only commit to memory that which was not the norm. The majority of folks at lunch ate a burger. The chicken fried steak was most popular at dinner. The majority had ranch dressing on their salad, drank Pepsi with their meal, ordered French fries and had the soup of the day. If there were six folks at a table and I remembered only two milks and an apple juice, it was certain that the other three had Pepsi. I thought about ranch dressing as a metaphor the other day while eating at a restaurant off I-80. My partner Kim didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to stop, but we had grumpy boys who were tired of being cooped up for hours in the backseat. We all needed to pee, and after all, gay folk need to eat, even in Wyoming. Kim stayed in the car for a moment to gather up some needed supplies for our eight-month-old. I took the boys inside. The host approached us and asked if I wanted the smoking section. He then started to scribble something on his seating chart. He smiled. He looked me in the eye. To him, my family was ranch dressing. We were â&#x20AC;&#x153;normal.â&#x20AC;?

His assumption that we were a ranch dressing family was shattered in just an instant. First when he told me, in reference to my five-year-old son Riley that, â&#x20AC;&#x153;SHE has the most beautiful hair that I have ever seen,â&#x20AC;? my son replied, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a boy, you know. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a gender non-conformistâ&#x20AC;? in his sassy, high pitched, howdare-you-think-boys-canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t-have-long-hairand-wear-pink voice. An instant later, my partner walked in, and even with a diaper bag strewn over her shoulder and a box of rice cereal in her hand, she didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t look domestic. She looked dykey. And if she was a dyke, then so was I. Kim is made visible because of stereotypes,

My son replied, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a boy, you know. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a gender non-conformistâ&#x20AC;? in his sassy, high pitched, how-dare-youthink-boys-canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t-havelong-hair-and-wear-pink voice. and similarly I am kept invisible whenever I am without her. Ranch dressing instantly forgotten, we were suddenly diet Dr. Pepper, bleu cheese dressing, hash browns, liver and onions. We were the non-smoking table closest to the smoking section. We were an hour waiting for our scrambled eggs. We were the object of whispers and stares. Staff and customers alike looked and pointed. Yes. One actually pointed. The host had clearly taken on the task of informing practically everyone else in the restaurant that our long-haired, piggy-tailed, pink-wearing pre-schooler was actually a boy, and the judgment got worse. We were the Subaru-driving, lesbian couple with the little boys who, they were sure, we were â&#x20AC;&#x153;turning gayâ&#x20AC;? even as we picked at our soggy eggs. I have come to expect this response to Riley from strangers, but I have found

that Riley gets just as much criticism from gay folks. People â&#x20AC;&#x201D; even â&#x20AC;&#x153;we peopleâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; use gender to determine (to stereotype) sexual orientation all the time. And donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get me wrong, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be the first to admit that weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re often right. But weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re also often wrong. It is true that Riley has been given permission to express himself with a full range of gender options. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been blamed for trying to make him gay (heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s five!), but really, what mother hasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t been blamed for something? Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve tried my best to allow him to play with gender how he chooses, though daycare, Nickelodeon and friends make the requirements pretty clear. Somehow, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been able to resist this socialization, or at least alter it to fit his personality. As a parent, I get flack all the time for my sonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gender expression. I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seem to get through to people that my son did not get his love for dresses, pink and Dora the Explorer from me. And neither did he get these predilections from Kim. Why are so many queer folks uncomfortable with my sonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s self expression? Is this about their own pain? Are they afraid that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m proving straight folks right? That we queers can somehow â&#x20AC;&#x153;turnâ&#x20AC;? someone gay? Do we, on some level, believe that heterosexuality is preferred over gayness? Are some falling into that old trap of thinking that gayness can be created (or avoided) through parenting? Deep down are they afraid that weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not born this way after all â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and that Riley and other gender non-conformist children of queers are going to prove it? Adult and adolescent queers (and straights) have been playing with gender for years. I think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to take children off that pedestal and let them play around with it, too. After all, playing is what children do. Once while Riley was wearing his favorite pink butterfly dress a friend asked why he liked it so much. Of all the reasons to choose, he responded with, â&#x20AC;&#x153;It lets my penis breathe.â&#x20AC;? Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a pretty manly reason for a cute little butterfly dress. When it gets down to it, Riley might be straight. He might be gay. But I can assure you, his sexual orientation wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be determined because of his little pink butterfly dress, his two moms, or the fact that he mixes his ranch dressing with ketchup to make what he calls â&#x20AC;&#x153;beautiful sauce.â&#x20AC;?

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Queer Gnosis Queer Tricksters By Troy Williams troy@qsaltlake.com

that challenge us to re-imagine what we know about gender and sexuality. They are social anomalies that disrupt dominator ideology at the core. The work they are doing for our planet has only just begun to be recognized. We can look to them for a powerful witness of human possibility. Our vision should be nothing less than social revolution. But before that unfolds, we first need to change the stories we tell about ourselves. No more tales of victimhood — no more self-loathing — no more destructive behaviors. We simply don’t have time anymore to indulge in “poor me, I’m gay and despised” metadramas. Let’s stop focusing on our perceived deficits and start inspiring the masses. Society desperately needs us (and I’m not talking about the need “straight guys” have to be “queer-eyed”). Information has gone viral. Power is shifting from the center to the margins. Multiple social movements are gathering planetary momentum. The spark of new potential awakens our awareness of who we are and what we can become.

Queer Gnosis is everywhere. The LGBT political movement is organized. Queer Theory has entered the Academy. Queer youth are emerging with an astounding self-awareness. The New Gender Nation has arrived. My goal in radio, film and print, is to launch a trans-revolutionary quantum shift throughout the genderverse. In this column I will be sharing my conversations with visionary authors, activists, healers, new-edgers, satirists, tripsters and other luminary social change agents. My intent is to create viral queer megamemes that will spread a new identity consciousness throughout the mediasphere and infect millions with radical subversive ideas to transform our planet. Again, we are the queers we’ve been waiting for. I’m looking forward to having these conversations with you. Information about David Korten can be found at: thegreatturning.net. Archived episodes of NQT can be found at nowqueerthis. com. RadioActive airs weekdays at noon on KRCL 90.9 FM.

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Welcome to my first column for QSaltLake. Some of you know me from KRCL, where I produce RadioActive and Now Queer This. My objective with both shows has been to bring visionary artists, intellectuals and activists to the airwaves of Utah. The goal always is to re-evaluate how we live in our mutating world. And yes, things are shifting. Patriarchy and Empire are passé. Hierarchy and Hegemony are exhaustingly old. Sexism and Homophobia have worn out their welcome. Our planet needs us to kick it up and create new ways of living together. Community, Cooperation and Liberty hold the promise for a healthy planet. We need big ideas and bigger actions to make this all happen. Not just for queer folk, but for any marginalized group who has been excluded from the national promise; that being, the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. To paraphrase Hopi elders, we are the queers we’ve been waiting for. One of my big ideas is that queer folk are on the planet for a dynamic purpose. Like mythic tricksters and daemons, we exist on the planet to disrupt, disorganize and subvert systems—particularly systems of domination and hierarchy. Our aspiration: total cultural regeneration. David Korten, the co-founder of the Positive Futures Network argues that our planet has been operating on the dominator model of Empire. In his book, The Great Turning: From Empire to Earth Community, Korten envisions another cultural model based on partnership, universal human rights and sustainable economic justice. That’s a big idea. One that I think we queer folk are in a unique position to help. Korten came on RadioActive and spoke with our host, Brandie Balken. He laid down a brief history of human development: “Our current situation must be seen in the context of 5000 years of Empire. Based on archeological evidence, the earliest human societies were organized on a partnership model; a strong connection to the earth, balanced gender roles, women in positions of leadership … but then there was a major transition in the human experience toward dominator systems that brought in racism and sexism that seemed to permanently divide society between the rulers and the ruled.” Many of Korten’s ideas are inspired by Riane Eisler’s book, The Chalice and the Blade which explores early cultures built on equality, nonviolence and goddess worship — things we queers have been battling for politically. Korten continued to unfold the shift from egalitarian-based cultures to imperial nations: “It’s clear that when you organize on a dominator system you are pitting every person in a competition for the position of privilege at the top. You also create the same dynamic between nations, between family members and between members of community. What we came to realize is that pattern still plays out in the present world and it basically explains most of our existing crises and our social and environmental breakdown. If you look at the evidence of what is happening, we are reaching the limits of what the planet and the social fabric will tolerate in terms of domination and exploitation. We live in a

critical framing moment. As a species we need to make a conscious choice to turn this world around.” So let’s do it. Queers have the power to dislodge the hegemonic patriarchal structures that are straining our planet. As gender tricksters we challenge dominator systems. One of the ways we do this is simply by having sex. Yes. Queer sex is one of the most liberating Big Ideas we’ve got. Our culture is built around gender hierarchies that organize family, church, labor and other social structures disproportionately. When we enter into sexual and emotional unions we do so without an implicit gender hierarchy. We have tops and bottoms, true, but we also understand versatility. We, more than any other, have the potential to model true egalitarianism to the broader culture through our sex lives. From this perspective, every time queer people have sex, we heal the world. In addition, we also have the trans community. Often overlooked and undervalued, trans folk are a powerful presence

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Q uiz Know Your News? By Ann Rostow

So you think you’re well-informed? See just how much you remember about what happened in 2006. Yes, dear readers, it’s time again for our “final exam” if you will, to see how closely you followed GLBTLMNOP news this past year. Oh yes, I know you recall the vote on the Federal Marriage Amendment and our high court loss in Washington state. You remember that Arizona defeated the constitutional amendment that would have banned marriage and that California passed 10 zillion gay rights bills over the year. But did you remember that the next Batwoman will be a lesbian? Or that U.S. guards forced Saddam Hussein to watch episodes of “South Park” that depict him as a flaming fag? Have you forgotten the lesbian gang that put a man in the hospital after he made an advance on one member? Or the fate of the masturbating judge who presided over a murder trial while entertaining himself with a penis pump? These and like anecdotes are, of course, the grist for our mill all year long, as we attempt to capture the under-reported side of our colorful communal fight for civil rights, freedom and equality. Let’s see how well you’ve been keeping up, shall we?

1. Juliet Wilson wins this year’s “Lesbian Behaving Badly” prize for: a) Stabbing her partner Louise Leverson in the thigh with a five-inch tomato knife during a “row.” b) Abusing several female students at “Kylemore Abbey” back in the 1980s, leading to an investigation by the Health Service Executive last May. c) Calling police in the middle of the night to complain that her partner was not fulfilling her conjugal duties. d) Getting demoted from her position as Minneapolis fire chief after being the target of four civil suits, including three by women claiming sexual harassment. e) Being sentenced to three years for pouring bleach on her sleeping partner, Maxine Grizzle. 2. Tim Eyman is: a) A senior pastor at South Tulsa Baptist Church caught soliciting oral sex from an undercover cop last January. b) A Maryland man who won the right to raise his son in the company of his life partner after a Virginia court had ordered them to live separately. c) A man who made medical history by reaching adulthood with two fully functioning penises. d) A Washington state gadfly who tried to mount a petition drive to overturn the state’s gay civil rights bill. e) None of the above. 3. In animal news of 2006, “Cindy” was: a) A bottle-nosed dolphin who married an English woman in a ceremony in Jan. b) A cat who dialed 911 all by herself when her owner had a heart attack. c) A mouse who was thrown into a pile of burning leaves, ran out in flames and burned down a house in New Mexico. d) An ape in the Budapest zoo who drinks 55 liters of red wine each year for health reasons. e) An English police horse accused of being gay by a drunk Balliol student who was charged with hate speech.

4. Which of the following courts ruled in our favor in 2006? a) The Alaska Supreme Court in a decision on equal benefits for public employees. b) The Maryland Circuit Court in a decision on marriage rights. c) The New York Court of Appeals in a decision on marriage rights. d) The U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit in a decision on workplace discrimination. e) The Eighth Circuit in a decision on Nebraska’s anti-gay constitutional amendment.

5. The most tedious news story of ’06 was: a) The threat of schism in the Anglican Communion. b) The politics of bringing marriage equality back to a vote in the Canadian Parliament. c) The question of whether Minn. Senate Majority Leader Dean Johnson spoke to justices of the state supreme court about marriage rights off the record. d) The exact nature of the South African legislation that purported to legalize same-sex marriage. e) The four dueling measures that were possibly headed for the Colorado ballot. f) The tension between the mayor of Salt Lake City, the city council and the Utah state legislature over partner benefits combined with the lawsuit filed by the city’s insurance administrators. 6. Who said what? a) “I’ve heard about it. I hope you go — you know … I hope you go back to the ranch and the farm is what I’m about to say.” b) “We have become a community that throws money at politicians, and we demand nothing in return. And that’s what we get: Nothing. It’s the wrong message to send.” c) “These people are crazed fanatics, and I want to say it now: I believe it’s motivated by demonic power. It is satanic and it’s time we recognize what we’re dealing with.” d) “Think how marginalized racists are. If we don’t address this now, it will only get worse.” e) “We curse the spirit that would come to bring about same-sex marriage. We ask you to just look over this place today, cause them to be shaken in their very heart in uprightness. Lord, do that is right before you.” f) ”It wears girl’s clothes and puts on makeup. When I hear it sing Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry? I say to myself ‘YES, I want to punch your lights out pal, and break your ribs.’” g) “We wanted to be different. This is one name that will stay in people’s minds. We are not promoting Hitler, but we want to tell people we are different in the way he was different. This place is not about wars or crimes, but where people come to relax and enjoy a meal.” h) “We will not presume that a separate statutory scheme, which uses a title other than marriage, contravenes equal protection principles, so long as the rights and benefits of civil marriage are made equally available to same-sex couples.” i) “We cannot escape the reality that the shared societal meaning of marriage — passed down through the common law into our statutory law — has always been the union of a man and a woman. To alter that meaning would render a profound change in the public consciousness of a social institution of

ancient origin.”

7. As of Jan. 1, 2007, how many states banned same-sex marriage by constitutional amendment? a) 20; b) 19; c) 27; d) 28; e) 26

8. Scientists in Corvallis, Ore. are: a) Trying to make gay sheep straight through hormone treatments. b) Creating blastocysts out of human and rabbit cells. c) Testing whether ambidextrous people are more likely to be bisexual. d) Looking into what mothers of gay sons do with their extra “X” chromosomes. e) Evaluating the shopping habits of left handed mothers of gay sons.

9. The male newsmaker we would least like to share a beer with would be: a) James Seaton, the guy who beheaded his ex-girlfriend while she was still alive after she told him she was a lesbian. b) “Master Rick,” the head of a freelance castration operation out of a cabin near Waynesville, North Carolina. c) Franklin Crow, an individual who killed his roommate with a claw-hammer after the roommate failed to replenish the household toilet paper supply. d) Leroy Johnson, an Arizona firefighter caught having his way with a farm animal in his neighbor’s barn last spring. “You caught me,” he said contritely. “I tried to fuck your sheep.” e) Frederick Fontanez, a New York man who assaulted his former boyfriend Bichon Frise, “Bibi,” in a fit of rage.

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Score yourself! One point for each correct answer, except for Question No. 6 where you get one point for each correctly identified quote. Total possible is 16. 14–16 — You are completely amazing. 10–13 — Not bad at all. I’m impressed. 6–9 — OK, but next year, pay more attention. 1–5 — You are such an intelligent person. Why can’t you work to your potential? 0 — You need to read QSaltLake more often!

QSaltLake is a Proud Sponsor of WinterPride

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Answers: 1. e) When Grizzle screamed “Help me! I’m burning!” Wilson replied: “Help you? I wouldn’t even spit on you.” 2. d) You fell for the “None of the Above” option, didn’t you? Sucker! 3. a) Hell, we didn’t even publish the names of the mouse, the horse or the Hungarian apes. (The cat was called “Tommy.”) 4. b) We won in Alaska too, but that was in late 2005. Trick question! 5. b) That’s just my opinion. But it counts as the only correct answer. 6. a) George W. Bush, when asked if he had seen “Brokeback Mountain.” b) Empire State Pride Agenda Executive Director Alan Van Capelle on why he will not personally contribute to Hillary Clinton. c) Pat Roberson, commenting on Muslims. d) Gregory Baylor, head of the Christian Legal Society, worrying about preserving the right to hate gays. e) Pastor Vincent Fields, opening a session of the New Jersey legislature. f) Wannabe GOP Senate candidate Stephen Laffey of Rhode Island, speaking about Boy George in a college essay. g) The explanation by Punit Shablock, owner of Hitler’s Cross restaurant in Mumbai. h) Justice Barry T. Albin of the New Jersey Supreme Court explaining why the word “Marriage” is constitutionally insignificant. i) Justice Barry T. Albin of the New Jersey Supreme Court explaining the profound history and implications of the word “Marriage”… in the same decision. 7. c) 8. e) Texas readers got a well-deserved free pass on this question. And, yes, We would have won the championship. 9. a) The fiends!

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Our Pets

QSaltLake assistant editor JoSelle Vanderhooft and her orange tabby, Oscar (above). JoSelle says: â&#x20AC;&#x153;For several years I simply thought Oscar just liked to roam. Although a little dirty, he was healthy, well-fed and far from being feral. That was just the thing; he simply seemed to sweetnatured to have been abandoned. Still, he hung around my house so much that my mother and I guiltily began feeding him and even letting him stay inside when the weather got particularly cold. The day before my birthday in 2005 I went outside to get the mail and found him crumpled in the driveway, his face bloody and swollen. I took him to the vet and formally adopted him. Now, instead of sleeping outside in the cold and rain he cuddles up on my pillow or my feet. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the best cat anyone could ever want, funny, smart and rambunctious. I honestly donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know where Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be without him.â&#x20AC;?

Mark Barr and husband Scott McCoy with their dog, Parker (below). Parker is an eight-year-old female German Short-haired Pointer adopted in 1999 from the ASPCA in New York City. â&#x20AC;&#x153;After being together one year, we decided we could add to our family,â&#x20AC;? said Barr. â&#x20AC;&#x153;So one Saturday afternoon, we went up to the ASPCA on the Upper East side and saw Parker at 6 weeks old. She could fit in the palm of my hand. The couple last year adopted Cooper (inset), an eight-month-old male /Vizsla and Chocolate Lab Mix from the Brigham City Animal Shelter. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t real sure about adopting another dog, since Parker had been an â&#x20AC;&#x153;only childâ&#x20AC;? for 8 years, but we did and she has been really good about her new brother. They play all the time, and even though he can be a pest with her, I truly believe she is happier with having him around,â&#x20AC;? said Barr.

I wish we could have put this layout on a color page, because you have to see QSaltLake writer Matthew Gerberâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;playful baby kitty,â&#x20AC;? Bree Van de Kamp with her flourescent pink claw guards. Not to mention Gerberâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pink feather boa. (left) Stuart Merrill (right) and his seven-year-old Golden Retriever/ Yellow Lab mix, Mir. Merrill adopted her during the first week of the war so he named her for Peace. Merrillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s family is Russian and he speaks fluent Russian. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mirâ&#x20AC;? is Russian for â&#x20AC;&#x153;peace.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mir has a great love of cats,â&#x20AC;? Merrill says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;She loves to chase them but when she catches them she just wants to play. Mir greets all her cat friends with kisses whenever she sees them.â&#x20AC;? Salt Lake attorney Laura Milliken-Gray and her dog Kamas (left). Gray says Kamas is a mutt, given to her by a friend 12 years ago. He loves coming to work and meeting with her clients. When heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not meeting with clients, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s begging from her office mates or looking through wastebaskets for food remnants. â&#x20AC;&#x153;He seems to impart a sense of calm with my clients,â&#x20AC;? she says.

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Sundance Film Festival

City it seems there are

more and more films with queer content.

Here is this year’s list of “don’t-miss” films and a guide to the Queer Lounge.

Artist Spotlight: Pierre HuYghe France Director: Pierre Huyghe A presentation of short films that have rarely been screened outside of a museum or art gallery context. Huyghe is one of

J A N U A R Y 16 , 2 0 0 7  I S S U E 7 0  Q S A LT L A K E  19

Every year in Park

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the separation between church and state. World Premiere.

Illustration: Traci O’Very Covey

FREEHELD United States, 2006, 40 min., color Director: Cynthia Wade In the last weeks of her life, Lieutenant Laurel Hester has one goal—to leave her hard-earned pension to her life partner Stacie.

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Screening Times FR. JAN 19 8:30 AM Library Center Theatre SA. JAN 20 12:45 PM Broadway Centre Cinemas V SU. JAN 21 8:30 PM Prospector Square Theatre TU. JAN 23 8:30 PM Holiday Village Cinema II

SA. JAN 27 4:00 PM Holiday Village Cinema IV

ns? ed clow

7h_WZd[ Wk\ DWnei

By Richard Strauss

@WdkWho ') # (' a mythic tale of nymphs , gods ,

355-arts (2787).

Thanks To The GeorGe s. and dolores doré eccles FoundaTion

w w w. q u a c q u a c . o r g

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...beginners welcome everyone invited...

Screening Times MO. JAN 22 9:00 PM Egyptian Theatre, Park City TU. JAN 23 11:59 PM Holiday Village Cinema IV WE. JAN 24 1:00 PM Holiday Village Cinema IV FR. JAN 26 9:00 PM Tower Theatre, SLC

and a pouty princess . tickets $10 and up. call

1/5/07 10:18:05 AM

Swimming Schedule

This season

casual Dress has a whole new meaning

Screening Times SU. JAN 21 8:30 PM Library Center Theatre MO. JAN 22 9:00 AM Holiday Village Cinema IV MO. JAN 22 9:00 PM Broadway Centre Cinemas IV FR. JAN 26 8:30 PM Library Center Theatre

This performance may contain partial nudity; it may not be suitable for all audiences.

Bireley

Foundation

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Screening Times Sunday , Jan 21 9:30 PM Eccles Theatre Monday , Jan 22 8:30 AM Prospector Square Theatre Tuesday , Jan 23 9:00 PM Screening Room, Sundance Sunday , Jan 28 3:30 PM Rose Wagner

kingsbury hall presenTs

Pilobolus photo by John Kane courtesy of The Joyce Theater

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Tromadance

Night of the Living Gay United States, 2006, color Director: Lola Rock’n’Rolla Screening Times WE. JAN 24 5:00 PM Brewvies, 677 S 200 W

Slamdance

Queer Lounge Schedule Fri-Tues, January 19-23, 2007 OURCHART.COM Room

Silver King Hotel, 4th Floor — Adjacent to the Queer Lounge Open to All

Open to Film Professionals

QUEER LOUNGE, Silver King Hotel, lower level conference room, 1485 Empire Avenue, Park City Open to All

TROLLEY SQUARE CINEMAS

THE FINEST IN FILM 602 EAST 500 SOUTH • 801-746-1555

www.regencymovies.com

QUEER LOUNGE, Silver King Hotel, lower level conference room, 1485 Empire Avenue, Park City Open to All

Causing a scene since 1989

SaltLakeUnderGround Proud supporters of Utah’s Gay and Lesbian Scene

Pick us up the first Friday of every month.

Available at “anyplace cool.”

slugmag.com

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Saturday, January 20, 2007 5:00pm-7:00pm Poolhouse Mixer

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The Gay Agenda

The Fray See Jan. 31

YOUR CALENDAR OF ARTS, ENTERTAINMENT & IMPORTANT EVENTS By Tony Hobday

So January 3rd should be a state holiday called BooBoo’s Booby Day. Reason, you’re wondering. Well, let it be known to all that I, Tony “BooBoo” Hobday went to a booby bar with my straight brotherin-law, Heron “Hairball” Hanson; and though I refrained from sticking dollars bills to the railing so the dancers could snatch them up with their thighs, I still had fun.

16TUESDAY

Q As a pioneer in the medium of video art, Bill Viola creates surreal contemporary art. For over 35 years he has been instrumental in developing respectable and credible video art installations. Currently on display at the Salt Lake Art Center is his “shocking” Ascension, which has been described as “a 10-minute essay on death, beauty and resurrection”. It’s daring, beautiful and revealing. 11am-6pm, Tuesday-Saturday through March 17, Salt Lake Art Center, 20 S. West Temple. Free, slartcenter.org or billviola.com.

Q For those of you unbeknownst to one of the most profound stories about family dysfunction and estrangement, the engaging play On Golden Pond by Ernest Thompson comes to the Utah stage via Broadway Across America. It’s a beautifully written story about the difficulties of love and respect between a daughter and her ailing father. The BAA production stars Tom Bosley (Happy Days) and Michael Learned. 7:30pm through Jan. 21, Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. President’s Circle, UofU. Tickets $31–58.50, 581‑7100 or kingtix.com. Q I pride myself on being open to new ideas and positions, as well as a variety of role playing scenarios, but men in robe and habit may be pushing against my comfort zone. Then again, Desert Star Theatre’s Nunsense A Men! is a hilarious twist to the original show. Five surviving nuns (all played by men) of a food poison incident put on a show to raise funds for the burial of their sisters who perished from the outbreak. 7pm through February 24, Desert Star Theatre & Steakhouse, 4861 S. State Street. Tickets $8–15.95, 266‑2600.

17WEDNESDAY

19FRIDAY

Q University of Utah Theatre Department presents their Actor Training Program Senior Show’s production of Bertolt Brecht’s The Caucasian Chalk Circle. Through the struggle between social and economical classes, this politicallycharged drama follows the destiny of an abandoned child’s life in war-torn Soviet Georgia. Directed by Pioneer Theatre Company’s Rich Cole. 7:30pm through Sunday, Jan. 28, Babcock Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, UofU. Tickets $6–12, 581‑7100 or kingtix.com.

Q Eccentric is fitting for a man whose passions are snakes, juggling, puppets, chemistry, biology and acting. Avner “The Eccentric” Eisenberg brings his unique humor to Utah; a genius in physical comedy, Avner leaves audiences in a state of teary-eyed laughter. 7:30pm through Saturday, Allred Theater, 3750 Harrison Blvd.,WSU, Ogden. Tickets $8–12, call 1‑800‑WSU‑TIKS.

18THURSDAY Q How does the catch phrase go … “All the world’s a cabaret”? Or is it “If you’re gay, life’s a cabaret”? Personally, I think it’s the latter. Anyhoo, Wasatch Theatre Company presents Kander and Ebb’s musical sensation, Cabaret. I bet it was a real feat to do drag in 1930s Berlin. 8pm, Studio Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $15, 355‑ARTS or arttix.org. Q I bowl for beer, and sometimes just so I can wear my drag queen bowling shoes, but I have never bowled for soup. I’ve done other questionable acts for a hot bowl of chicken noodle soup, but I shan’t go there. There may be videos of these unspeakable acts on YouTube.com if anyone’s interested. Sorry, I digress. Bowling for Soup takes the stage tonight. 6pm, In The Venue, 219 S. 600 West. Tickets $13/advance, $15/day of, smithstix.com. Q Whether you’re a movie buff or not, there will be plenty of entertainment options this year at the Sundance Film Festival. Besides the obvious cornucopia of independent film selections, the Queer Lounge will be open to the general public, as well as star sightings, live music, wild parties, skiing and shopping. What more could you ask for except maybe a threesome with Bragelina. Hours vary through Sunday, January 28, various venues, Park City. 801-328-3456 or www.sundance.org for ticket and movie information. Q The Academy of Performing Arts presents their original variety showcase Broadway Bound, where the actors perform songs and monologues from some of the top Broadway hit musicals like Hairspray, Mama Mia!, 1776, Phantom of the Opera and The Producers. Every gay man should see this vibrant revue. 7:30pm through Saturday, Academy of Performing Arts, 3188 S. 400 East. Tickets $10–20, call 486-2728.

Q Richard Kaufman conducts the Utah Symphony through memorable scores from The Golden Age of Film. Legendary films from Somewhere Over the Rainbow to The Magnificent Seven are projected while the symphony provides powerful renditions of the music that was instrumental to their success. 8pm through Saturday, Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple. Tickets $20–50, 355‑ARTS or arttix.org.

Q As one of the Utah Pride Center’s youth programs, TINT (Tolerant, Intelligent Network of Teens) is holding an Open House, providing an opportunity for Utah GLBT youth to learn more about the Center’s Youth Program and mingle while enjoying refreshments, raffle prizes and a youth drag show. Donations benefit the Grant & Mary Valentine ‘Soups On’ Program and the Youth Soup Kitchen. I think I’d bowl for this soup, too! 6–9pm, Utah Pride Center, 361 N. 300 West. Donations requested, 539-8800 or utahpridecenter.org. Q To give one of QSaltLake’s dedicated advertisers just a little more exposure, and the fact that the name of the art exhibit being presented is hot, I’d like to recommend Chester’s Blacksmith Shop’s second install of Hang ‘M High, featuring some of the finest artists in the Street, Graffiti and New Fine Art movements. This exciting new exhibit, in correlation with the Sundance Film Festival, features the works of Sam Flores, Gary Baseman, Caleb Neelon, Slyvia Ji (all of whom will be in attendance tonight), among others. 7–11pm. Opening Reception and regular store hours through Feb. 25, Chester’s Blacksmith Shop, 613 Main Street, Park City. Free, 435-645-0668 or chestersblacksmith.com.

20SATURDAY Q Who will become Mr., Miss & Ms. Gay Utah XXV? Who will de-flower … I mean de-throne Mark Jones, Mya Chanel and Trisha Pace at this year’s Gay Utah Pageant. I’m predicting there’s not a chance in Minsk that Chad Keller or Mark Thrash will be crowned Mr. Gay Utah. You can visit my website www.psychicinminsk.bs for other pageant predictions.

8pm, Trapp Door, a private club for members, 600 W. 100 South. Donations $5 at the door. Q The vivacious gals of sWerve are having their own little independent film festival called sWerve Shorts. I can’t help

but picture hot pink short-shorts with tan little half-moon cheeks peeking out, swinging like a pendulum. But thank goodness that ain’t the truth—we’re talking short films by local writers and directors like Natalie Avery and Amy Bronson. Aaah, it’s safe to go back to the beach. 7pm, Union Theatre, 200 Central Campus Drive, UofU. Free, visit swerveutah.com. Q It’s what I like to call Pamper Day at the Enchanted Garden Retreat & Day Spa’s Holistic Mystic Fair. Enjoy a massage, mini-facial, Angeland taro readings and tea leaf readings. I’ve heard through the grapevine Professor Trelawney from Hogwarts will be doing the tea leaf readings. 12:30-4:30pm, Enchanted Garden Retreat & Day Spa, 4751 S. Highland Drive. Free, 274‑3801.

21SUNDAY Q If you’d like to check something out in Park City other than a movie, Big Head Todd & The Monsters ... hehe! That’s also what I call my bad boys ...will be swinging and shaking their groove-thing tonight. Reckless Kelly opens. 9pm, Suede, 1612 Ute Blvd., Park City. Tickets $25, 467‑1055 or smithstix.com.

25THURSDAY

New England Holidays. 8pm, Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple. Tickets $12–28, 355-ARTS or arttix.org. Q Ririe-Woodbury’s suprising and entertaining On the Move returns to the stage. If you haven’t seen it, please do. The dancers are superb and kudos to them for what appears to be strenuous dance numbers. 7pm and 2pm Saturday matinee, Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South. Tickets $30, 355‑ARTS or arttix.org.

Q I’ve decided to add this next event to the agenda for small business owners like Michael. See, many near-accidents occur daily at the QTowers, such as tripping over Xena Warrior Princess and forgetting to get the paper out on time because we’re in the mentality of “It’s 3:30 somewhere” (cocktail hour) much too often. Anyhoo, my drink’s broken so I’ll make the rest of this quick. Better Workplace Safety = Better Business is a seminar for accident prone peeps like Michael and me. Oh crap, we’re out of vermouth. 11:30am-5pm, Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South. Free but registration required, 288‑8215 or safetyanddiversity.org.

Q He’s not exactly eye candy—think the OC’s Adam Brody on estrogen—but, Ron Sexsmith has an impressive music career under his belt. His songs have been covered by k.d. lang, Rod Stewart, Diana Krall, Sarah McLachlan and Mary Black. He has impressed so many artists from many genres of music that I could only imagine the depths of that kind of success. Who gives a flying fig newton if he looks like a grown Pugsley Addams. 9pm, Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East. Tickets $12/advance or $15/day of, 467‑1055 or smithstix.com.

26FRIDAY

30TUESDAY

Q Utah Symphony proudly presents pianist-extraordinaire Andrew Von Oeyening with a rendition of Gershwin’s An American in Paris, as well as Barber Concerto for piano and Ives A Symphony:

Q As part of the 10th Anniversary observance of the Season for Nonviolence, being celebrated worldwide, and in nearly 500 U.S. cities, Utah will launch the 64-day observance with The Power

27SATURDAY

of Nonviolence!; an event featuring Michael Styles, Utah Martin Luther King Commission; Imam Shuaib-Ud Dim, Islamic Society of Greater Salt Lake ; Indra Neelameggham of the Hindu Temple and Reverend Elizabeth O’Day, Salt Lake Center for Spiritual Living. In light of recent truths or non-truths, as they may be, we should all take part in this event. 7pm, Salt Lake Center for Spiritual Living, 870 E. 7150 South. Free, 467‑4700 or agnt.org.

31WEDNESDAY Q Maybe I’m just getting old, but a few weeks ago I watched the American Music Awards on television and I was utterly unimpressed by the live performances. Except for The Fray. I absolutely love emotionally moving songs like “How to Save a Life”. You wouldn’t think I’d be such a compassionate person by the way I talk trash, but I really do have a heart ... you whiny little babies ... just kidding, luvs. 7:30pm, McKay Events Center, 800 W. University Parkway, Orem. Tickets $23–28, 467‑1055 or smithstix.com.

Upcoming Events

The Vagina Monologues, Feb. 3, Eccles Center, Park City WinterPride 2007, Feb. 9–18, various venues Christina Aguilera, Mar. 3, Las Vegas Eric Clapton, Mar. 8, Energy Solutions Arena Rod Stewart, Mar. 17, Las Vegas Dave Matthews Band, March 23, Las Vegas Bernadette Peters, March 24, Eccles Center, Park City

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In Living Color Seasons 1 and 2 The first season of the comedy show that crossed every line with their crude humor and introduced a new generation of comedy talent. Not only did this series give Jim Carrey his start in comedy, it also featured the weekly â&#x20AC;&#x153;Men on Filmâ&#x20AC;? skits. These routines featured David Alan Grier and Damon Wayans as two outrageous gay men camping beyond belief. Some thought these skits were homophobic, we laughed our asses off. Release Date: Jan. 9. List Price 29.99 per season. 4 discs each season.

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Madame SatĂŁ From the seedy slums of 1930s Rio de Janeiro emerged a feral, explosive, and legendary creature known as Madame SatĂŁ - criminal, surrogate father, performer, lover, fighter, and driven Afro-Brazilian gay man. JoĂŁo was jet-black, six feet tall, 180 pounds of proud muscle in a silk shirt and tight pants, a cutthroat razor in his back pocket. Director Karim AĂŻnouz brings SatĂŁâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s violent â&#x20AC;&#x153;birthâ&#x20AC;? to life in this visceral, energized feature. This sex-filled, incredible drama focuses on three characters: JoĂŁo (Ramos), the man the film is about, Laurita (Cartaxo), his lover/whore/mother of his adopted child and Tabu (Bauraqui), a drag queen who keeps the house and makes Madame SatĂŁâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s costumes. This is a music-filled, magical journey to a world of â&#x20AC;&#x153;hoods and queensâ&#x20AC;? in Rio that you wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t soon forget. Release Date: Jan. 9. List Price 14.99.

The Night Listener Robin Williams and Toni Collette star in this superb adaptation of Armistead Maupinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best-selling novel about a gay radio memoirist who becomes intrigued with a manuscript written by a survivor of sexual abuse. Release Date: Jan. 9. List Price 29.99.

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QuinceaĂąera From the gay filmmakers/partners who made â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Flufferâ&#x20AC;? comes this superb tale set in their own Echo Park, LA neighborhood. Winner of both the Dramatic Audience and Jury Awards at the 2006 Sundance Film Festival and deservedly so, this crowd-pleaser deftly balances gay and straight storylines while presenting an engaging tale about sexuality, culture clashes and gentrification. Release Date: Jan. 9. List Price 26.99.

The L Word: The Complete First Season Like the best drugs, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The L Wordâ&#x20AC;? will hook you from the first moment and not let go. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a â&#x20AC;&#x153; â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sex and the Cityâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Six Feet Underâ&#x20AC;? addict, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The L Wordâ&#x20AC;? is not to be missed. We fully expected politically correct, boring TV, what we got was a group of new friends/ high drama and we canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t wait for season two. Gay men will thank the creators of the show for Tim

(Eric Mabius). Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a total hunk, and the sweet straight man we want to marry. His high school sweetheart/wife, Jenny (Mia Kirschner) is a total psycho. She sleeps with anyone who will give her attention and drama is her middle name. Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s next in season two for this bisexual vixen? They live next door to Bette (Jennifer Beals) and Tina, the upper-class, child-seeking lesbian couple whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got lots of intrigue of their own. Shane breaks hearts and sleeps with all the young girls â&#x20AC;&#x201D; she just needs better judgment. Dana is a tennis player just coming out of the closet who may have picked a psycho girlfriend â&#x20AC;&#x201D; weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll know in season two. And then thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Alice, the bisexual journalist, whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s played by Leisha Hailey, the only out dyke in the cast! In a strong recurring role is blaxpoiltation star Pam Grier as Betteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s recovering sister, Kit. Definitely not just for lesbians, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The L Wordâ&#x20AC;? features hot sex, strong writing, superlative acting and drama you wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to miss a moment of. Release Date: Jan. 16. List Price 34.99.

Brokeback Mountain: Collectorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Edition The new two-disc edition offers exclusive bonus features, some available for the first time, that will heighten viewersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; understanding and enjoyment of this seminal film, including: A Groundbreaking Success â&#x20AC;&#x201C; In an original documentary, Brokeback Mountainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s producers and cast talk about bringing this unusual story to the screen on their terms. The film also examines the phenomenal attention garnered by the movie, including the numerous parodies that were inspired by its theme. Music From the Mountain â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Composer Gustavo Santaolalla, who won an Oscar for Brokeback Mountainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s emotional soundtrack, anchors a breakdown of the movieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s unforgettable music. Includes interviews with each of the featured artists and a trip to the studio with the legendary Willie Nelson as he records his touching version of Bob Dylanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;He Was a Friend of Mine.â&#x20AC;? Impressions From the Film â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The raw beauty and splendor of the American West are masterfully showcased in a photomontage of the filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sweeping vistas. On Being A Cowboy â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal discuss their preparations for the film, including rodeo and wrangling training. Exclusive on-set interviews with the filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s stunt coordinator are also featured. Directing From The Heart: Ang Lee â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Director Ang Lee is profiled in this intimate behind-the-scenes look at the creative force that brought the absorbing story of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Brokeback Mountainâ&#x20AC;? to life. From Script to Screen: Interviews with Larry McMurtry & Diana Ossana â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The writers discuss bringing Pulitzer Prize-winning author Annie Proulxâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s visionary short story to the screen. Sharing the Story: The Making of Brokeback Mountain â&#x20AC;&#x201C; This featurette follows the filmmaking process from start to finish and introduces the cast and crew who brought â&#x20AC;&#x153;Brokeback Mountainâ&#x20AC;? to life through in-depth interviews, exclusive behind-the-scenes footage, and more. Release Date: Jan. 23. List Price 26.99/34.99

Pre-Order Your DVDs through the TLA Entertainment Group and save by going to QSaltLake.com/DVD

In Search Of... Queer Lounge by Chad Keller & Mark Thrash insearchof@qsaltlake.com

We know youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re all itching to hear what we did with our New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve. When we last put our fingers to the grind at the rickety keyboard with a temperamental mouse, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d just given you an overview of the bar possibilities available in Salt Lake City. MARK: I ventured to GOSSIP! with a group of close friends and our VIP passes. The mere flexibility to avoid waiting in line was enough to warrant the ticket price, but some other trinkets were also included: reserved/velvet roped-off seating, party hats, beads, complimentary champagne and cocktails. Though the best part of the night was being able to turn to an uninvited commoner who was seated in my clearly labeled area and say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;These are my seats.â&#x20AC;? I did so while personally removing him from the reserved area. Another friend had asked him to move before I arrived, but as my date explained, â&#x20AC;&#x153;It just doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t work the same unless youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a big, scary black man.â&#x20AC;?

further enhance the exposure and acceptance of our community. If you have a great gay film you want to show at an allgay film festival, I suggest the Salt Lake City Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. MARK: Unfortunately debating over the quality of gay films isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t a direction we can take since weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll likely ruffle far too many feathers, so instead letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s take a look at the purpose Queer Lounge does serve. CHAD: Maybe â&#x20AC;&#x153;dramaâ&#x20AC;? can be our next search? From my understanding, Queer Lounge seeks to expose the mainstream masses to all that is offered in gay film at Sundance. Plus, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d imagine that it allows party-goers an opportunity to brush shoulders with stars. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure it also serves up a few great cocktails. I wonder how if they have free cocktails? I bet they do. MARK: Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not sure. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s check the list of sponsors again on their website. The only beverage sponsor listed is Bud Light. So, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not sure exactly what alcohol is available or its cost. I think it is important to note that gay filmmakers donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t all produce gay-themed films, and the purpose of Queer Lounge is to support â&#x20AC;&#x153;queer and queer-friendlyâ&#x20AC;? festival attendees. That inclusion isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t limited to gaythemed films.

Gay stars, gay filmmakers and straight people beating down the doors in hopes of the chance to hang out in the midst of gay fabulocity.

CHAD: How colorful. All hail Emperor Thrash. None of the bar parties sounded intriguing to me. It seemed like any other Friday night at the bar, but placed on a Sunday. As it was cold and foggy, First Night wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even appealing. At least Salt Lake City had one. Other delusional Mormon cities had First Night on Saturday. So, I stayed home with my friend, Judd, and caught up on homework by watching the 1973 movie edition of Jesus Christ Superstar and the Kennedy Center Honors. Like I stated last time, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m getting old. Up next, In Search of Queer Loungeâ&#x20AC;Ś

CHAD: Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve made broad strides in the entertainment community. Not that you would know that living in Utah. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s remember Sundance and the many barnacle festivals are about the filmmaker. This is their perfect chance to shine. My fear is that we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really produce enough quality gay films. There are some exceptions, like Brokeback Mountain and TransAmerica to name a few, that do make it to the big-budget box office and

MARK: Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been done. I have the porno by Chi Chi LaRue. CHAD: Queer Lounge is a great reason for a party at Sundance. It promotes queer visibility, even at meeting rooms in a hotel located near the hub of the festival. Is it just me, or do you feel that January and February are turning into another long hangover like Pride month? Point me towards the Silver King, have a welldressed cocktail and a naked Brad Pitt waiting for my arrival. Queer Lounge â&#x20AC;Ś donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss it!â&#x20AC;&#x201A; Q

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MARK: The â&#x20AC;&#x153;home-away-from-homeâ&#x20AC;? for queer and queer-friendly Sundance Festival attendees is Queer Lounge. Since Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never been, I took a moment to visit their website to get some insight on the purpose of the venue. Their purpose is to promote and support gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender films toward the goal of broad crossover appeal. When we began our debate on this topic, I wondered how much of Queer Lounge was based on networking or merely socializing. Commonly, when members of our community gather in a lounge, it seems very little conversation ensues. So, I was pleasantly surprised to find a list of predetermined panel discussions, but Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m still left with some skepticism about its importance.

CHAD: Well, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m all for gay-friendly, but Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be more intrigued by an all-queer energy venue. Gay stars, gay filmmakers, and straight people beating down the doors in hopes of the chance to hang out in the midst of gay fabulocity. I often wonder how different Brokeback Mountain wouldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been if written by a gay author, produced by a wealthy gay man and with a gay man behind the camera.

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Not quite â&#x20AC;&#x153;Five Starâ&#x20AC;? By J. Paul Miles

Miles@qsaltlake.com

First of all I am thrilled to join the QSaltLake team as your new dining columnist. In my family, the kitchen was always the center of our world, so it was only natural I would have a very successful career (12 years to date) in restaurants and end up writing about them for QSaltLake. My goal is to send you all on fantastic culinary adventures which will indulge all five senses, and challenge all â&#x20AC;&#x153;foodies,â&#x20AC;? from novice to professional, to experience all the wonderful food and fare Utah has to offer and maybe even to try something thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not fantastic to give you a basis for comparison. I got a phone call from a good friend early on a crisp Friday morning. I was commanded to go downtown and try out Five Star Restaurant. The first thing that popped out of my mouth was, â&#x20AC;&#x153;where the heck is that?â&#x20AC;? I was told this twoyear-old Thai/Chinese restaurant sits on 268 south State Street, just at the end of a string of failed retail spaces that once made up Gallivan Plaza. I quickly remembered I had passed this place at least fifty times on my way to the gym. It advertises a $5.95 lunch special, but that was about all I knew about it. I rolled out of bed and quickly tried to recruit a lunch date. After several calls to various friends who all asked the same question I did, all invitations were respectfully declined. Parking is never an easy thing downtown, but Five Star has quite a bit of on street parking and on a normal day, you should have luck finding a spot. I walked into Five Star and was immediately unimpressed with the decor. It was a fairly run-of-the-mill Asian wash of wall tapestries and hanging parasols. The dining room was very clean and the atmosphere of bright colors and little privacy would be fun for a group of you and your buddies (especially with $5 dollar domestic beer pitchers!), but would not be the best for a first date. Shane, my server, immediately greeted me with a friendly hello and asked if anybody would be joining me. I grumbled â&#x20AC;&#x153;Noâ&#x20AC;? and was happily whisked away to a cozy little booth. On my first visit, I was impressed a lot more by the service than anything else. The

staff was accommodating and knowledgeable, and they seemed to know the names of everybody who walked in the door. The food does need a little work. At the recommendation of my server I ordered exclusively off the Thai Menu. I started with there â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sethekâ&#x20AC;? appetizer ($6.75) a portion of four chicken skewers, which came out hot with a sweet peanut sauce and a cucumber dressing to dip in. The chicken was breaded and fried and was a little dry and flavorless without the addition of the dipping sauces. They next brought out the hot and sour soup, served complimentary for the lunch special. It was fairly standard, and the tiny pieces of beef floating amongst the tofu tasted old and un-appetizing. The entrĂŠe was generous in its portions and was served with a heaping portion of ham fried rice and a spring roll. I chose to go with #34 Panang ($9.95 during dinner or ala carte) which consisted of beef or chicken swimming in red chili, basil and coconut milk with a spicy Thai herb broth. I found the sauce flavorful but a little thin. The beef in the dish didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seem to be the best quality, but what can you say when itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only $5.95? One area Five Star truly excels in is their soups. I love their Tomka ($8.25), a delicate ballet of mushrooms, green onions, lemon grass and coconut milk. My friend Julie swears the only way to ease a cold is the GangJuet Wuin Sen, a green onion, Napa cabbage, and rice noodle soup. Five Star Restaurant has certainly found its niche with the downtown business crowd. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re trying Five Star out for the first time I would recommend coming during lunch first to get a feel for it. There are a number of wonderful Thai and Chinese restaurants in Utah and I think Five Star Restaurant will continue to succeed as a lunch destination for the famished business person, but will have trouble securing a steady dinner clientele. See you next week folks. Chew slowly, order something fried and never skip dessert.

Five Star Restaurant Thai and Chinese Cuisine ď&#x201A;Ťď&#x201A;Ťď&#x201A;Ťď&#x201A;Ťď&#x201A;Ť 268 S. State Street 801-366-9366 Price: $â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$$ out of 4 Hours: Lunch and Dinner Catering, take out, or dine in Delivery: downtown business customers only Reservations accepted: yes Kids Menu: yes Booze: full bar Parking: street Gay Friendly: yes Want your favorite restaurant reviewed? Email me at Miles@qsaltlake.com. Tell me why itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your favorite, and if I pick it Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll give you a shout-out in my column.

Dining Guide Cafe Med 216 E. 500 South, Salt Lake City (801) 322-4101 M–TH 11am–3pm; 5pm–9:30pm F–SA 11am–3pm; 5pm–10pm

On any given night, the eclectic environment of Cafe Med houses and feeds a range of folks. One evening included double-dating gay couples toasting with Armenian Kilikia beer, two interracial couples, a small group of ladies distressing over the state of local theater, and a family with full-grown children sharing glasses of wine—all serviced by a small and efficient wait staff. Meal portions are huge — perfect for sharing around the table. The real adventure in dining out at Café Med is the Persian dishes, all of which come with aromatic basmati rice. Koofteh—plum stuffed meatballs stewed in a light tomato sauce—showcases the playful balance of sweet and savory flavors of Persian cooking. The Persian eggplant stewed in tomatoes and served atop the restaurant’s signature dill basmati rice is an unforgettable creation.

Urban Bistro 216 E. 500 South, Salt Lake City (801) 322-4101 M–TH 11am-3pm; 5pm-9:30pm F–SA 11am-3pm; 5pm-10pm

Caffé Molise 55 W. 100 South, Salt Lake City (801) 364-8833 M–TH. 11:30am–2pm; 5:30–9pm F 11:30am–2; 5:30–10pm Sat. 5:30–10pm

There’s always one foolproof test when it comes to rating Italian restaurants with my friends: gnocchi. In the world according to Mr. R., Mr. Y, and especially our good friend Mr. M (now residing, ironically, in the carb-phobic capital of L.A.), a good Italian restaurant has to offer at least one version of gnocchi. How? They don’t care. Swathe it in nothing but a velvety and artery-clogging mixture of Gorgonzola and butter. Let it mac-

Avenues Bakery & Bistro 481 E. South Temple, Salt Lake (801) 746-5626 Daily 7am-10pm

The vibe at Avenues Bakery & Bistro is unique in Salt Lake. Situated on the fringes of downtown and its namesake neighborhood, it’s a great respite for residents of the area. Its appeal is urbane, with distressed floors and exposed ceilings and brick. But even with all its sophisticated trappings, it manages to be quite comfortable. The lofty space with abundant windows gives it an elemental charm that’s inviting to moms with strollers and the suited working-class.

Mazza 1515 S. 1500 East, Salt Lake City (801) 484-9259 M–SA 11 am to 9 pm

I try not to review restaurants where I know the folks. Never mind the ethics behind it; simply, it’s bloody uncomfortable trying to review a place that you frequent and adore. There are plenty of selfish reasons for this as well. When you’re on a first-name basis with a favorite place, it’s your space. It has nothing to do with the professional realm. In fact, it’s a refuge from it. There, you meet up with friends and get a good meal. So, why on earth would I want to transform this relationship and throw it into the cauldron of work-related stress? In this instance, the answer is simple. Mazza is a great place to eat. Period.

Bambara 202 S. Main St. (801) 363-5454 Breakfast M–F 7-10am; SA-SU 8-11am Lunch: Daily 11am-2pm Dinner: SU-TH 5:30-10pm, F-SA 5:30-11pm

Seasonal menus reflect regional American and international influences at this artfully designed destination restaurant. The setting, formerly an ornate bank lobby adjacent to the swank Hotel Monaco, is as much of a draw as the food. An open marble-fronted kitchen, big windows framed in fanciful hammered metal swirls, and a definite “buzz” make Bambara a popular gathering spot. You can also dine in the adjoining private club, or simply enjoy a cocktail while snuggled in a velvet-lined booth. Those going to Capitol Theatre across the street can enjoy a preor post-event menu.

Orbit Cafe 540 W. 200 South (801) 322-3808 M-TH 11am-10pm; F 11am-3am; SatSun, 9 am-3 pm

With so much to enjoy visually at

the Orbit, and friendly servers who make everyone feel welcome, it might seem as though the food is secondary. Not so. It’s not cutting-edge trendy, by any means; most of the items would fall in the “classics” category, with garlic burgers, fish and chips, club sandwiches and a Philly cheese steak among them. But sometimes nothing tastes better than an old favorite, and that, too, could be said of Orbit’s offerings. The peppercorn steak is a good example, with the superpeppery top sirloin served with a delicious green peppercorn sauce and garlicky smashed potatoes. We also enjoyed the asiago-crusted halibut, which was moist and flaky with a creamy pine nut sauce. It’s dubbed the house specialty for good reason. With plenty of good reasons to visit Orbit Cafe, there’s still one more: the prices. Most entrees are under $10, and include a cup of soup or a nice house salad, especially good with the caramelized onion vinaigrette.

Belgian Waffle & Omelet Inn 7331 S 900 E, Midvale, (801) 566-5731 Open 24 hours

The Belgian Waffle & Omelet Inn is a favorite for skiers heading up to the slopes to gorge themselves with the carbs they’ll need for the day. The restaurant is big and casual, usually filled with big families, seniors and kids from across-the-street Hillcrest High. On the weekend mornings, expect to wait a few minutes for a table. The namesake Belgian waffles come loaded with whipped cream, ice cream or fruit. Go for the garbage hash (cheese-covered potatoes with ham, bacon, onions, peppers and mushrooms) or one of the gargantuan omelettes (they come out looking like a pancake, served flat and smothered with cheese). Lunch and dinner choices range from burgers and sandwiches to giant platters of roast turkey, pot roast and chicken fried steak.

Nick-N-Willy’s World Famous Pizza 4536 S. Highland Drive (801)273-8282 M–F 10:30am-9pm, SA 11am-9pm SU 12pm-9pm

What a refreshing surprise it was to try Nick-N-Willy’s World Famous Pizza in Holladay. The location in the Albertson’s Plaza is the first in Utah, with several more rumored to open up along the Wasatch Front. The company’s premise is a range of higher-end toppings atop small-batch-produced crust. The franchise started out of Boulder, Colorado, so this isn’t going to be a New York or Chicago style of pie. It seems every place has its signature style. As far as I’m concerned, Salt Lake has yet to lay out its pizza manifesto (and I won’t even consider Jell-O anywhere in this equation). Consider it a carte blanche to enjoy any damn style you prefer, or better yet, crave.

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SUNDAY BRUNCH IS FUN ONCE AGAIN! Ten Great Menu Items, including Omelets: Pesto, Greek, Western, Shrimp & Asparagus, Denver Breakfast Burrito Beef Steak & Eggs Pork Loin & Eggs Saffron Cream Benedict

420 East 3300 South Salt Lake City 493-0100 Monday - Thursday 11:00am to 10:00pm Friday - Saturday 11:00am to 11:00 pm Sundays 11:00am to 10:00pm

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There are those in the dining world whose approach to food is so austere that anything but the food and the immediate necessities (i.e. über-chic flatware, one of a kind Riedel stemware) are superfluous additions. Charlie Trotter and devotees wax poetic about dining in pared down décor. Devoid of distractions such as background music, artwork, etc., the food can truly be the center of attention. If you can’t live in a loft, you can at least enjoy a meal in one. Works from local artists accessorize cement walls, exposed brick, and high ceilings. Enough color and visual interest to strike up a conversation or give you an excuse to drift off on a thought when conversation gets too boring for actual participation.

erate in enough pesto to keep your breath volatile for two days. Or, in true gluttonous fashion, transform the entire dish with a tangy tomato sauce and enough cream to make it electric pink. Just give ’em the gnocchi. So, needless to say, Mr. R. was especially thrilled to see the gnocchi di patate on Caffé Molise’s dinner menu.

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Hollywood Buzz 2006 in Review Part Two

By Ross von Metzke buzz@qsaltlake.com

Part two of my favorite time of the year—when instead of reporting on new gossip, we dig back through the year and check out some old stuff. If you missed part one of our top ten countdown of the year’s greatest stories, pick up the old issues and catch up. Otherwise, let the games continue. 5. Calling all Peeps to Whitney’s Crack Den — Before she filed for divorce, which we’ll get to shortly (trust us), Whitney Houston was harboring a deep, dark secret—one her sister in law Tina felt compelled to share with the National Enquirer. It seems while Clive Davis and Cissy Houston were gathered around trying to figure out how to get Nippy back in the studio to fulfill her contract and record another album, Whitney was holed up in her Atlanta compound playing with sex toys and smoking crack. Tina Brown, who admits in the story she used to get high with Whitney, said the songstress had lost complete and utter touch with reality, spent days talking to herself and passed the time by satisfying her sexual needs with dirty toys. Anyone who doubted Whitney was living in squalor in a

crack den found it tough to ignore the photos that showed her popping into a mini mart at 4 in the morning sans wig, wearing pajamas and a fur and demanding Cheetos. Of course, as we all know now, Whitney is sober after multiple stints in rehab, and we wish her the best, but for a few fleeting months, images of Whitney getting re-birthed in the River Jordan followed by the mess that was Being Bobby Brown and the cracked out aftermath that followed has us damn good and entertained. 4. Kelly vs. Clay vs. … Rosie? — It started as a fairly innocent run-in. Clay Aiken slapped his clammy hand over Kelly Ripa’s mouth on live television and, taking offense, Kelly replied… ‘Oh, no no… I don’t know where that hand’s been, honey.’ And it probably would have stopped there. But that Behemoth Rosie O’Donnell opted to weigh in, accusing Kelly of making a homophobic comment and attempting to brand her as anti-gay on The View. Kelly called in to defend her honor, telling Rosie she should know better, and received her share of support from guest co-host Sherri Shepherd. But the real drama is what Rosie essentially said about Clay, because before saying Kelly would have handled the situation differently had that been somebody else, she led into the discussion with… ‘If that had been a straight man, if that had been an attractive man…’ So in defending Clay’s honor, Rosie essentially outed him and called him ugly. But yeah, Kelly’s the one who owes him an apology. Flowers have been sent, apologies

offered and all three stars seem to have moved on. But oh for the video replay I enjoyed in the hours after Clay-gate. 3. What Happened to Everyone’s Panties? — Not so much an event as an epidemic, 2006 will forever be remembered as the year Hollywood celebrities stopped wearing panties. We’ve seen Lindsay’s! Paris’! Pink put on panties, but Cameron Diaz came dangerously close. But for all the cooters we saw and shunned, nobody stepped out in a short skirt, no bottoms more times this year that Britney Spears. In the weeks following her divorce announcement from Kevin Federline, she stepped out with no panties a record four times—and we’re only counting the times we spotted official cooch.

It took Britney a couple of weeks to catch on to the fact that when a man puts a camera way down low as you’re sliding in or out of limo, perhaps it’s best to lay a jacket down—a strategically placed hand maybe. Britney finally apologized to fans for her post divorce behavior on her Website a few weeks later and has since been making a habit of wandering around in pants. She can wear whatever she wants under those—just beware of potential chafing. Here’s hoping in 2006, little lacey bottoms are all the rage again. 2. Whitney Kicks Bobby to the Curb — After fourteen years of putting gay America through pure hell (minus the “It’s Not Right, But It’s OK” years), Whitney finally came to her senses and filed for divorce from Bobby Brown. Gay bars offered drink specials. I had friends driving around town honking horns. Whitney even celebrated by going down to the Laguna Beach DMV and getting her drivers license renewed. A week later, she stepped out with Clive looking like a million bucks, putting to rest rumors she’d smoked so much crack her teeth fell out… though they could well be veneers, but still.

Continued on page 33

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Hollywood Buzz Continued from page 30

The best part is, it seems like she was telling the truth. Official paperwork was filed days later and we have yet to see pics pop up in the tabloids of Whitney rolling around in some gutter somewhere with a bottle of Boones and a pipe. And if Whitney’s really gonna sober up and go it olo, what better place to do it than Orange County, surrounded by a bunch of rich, white Republicans (Asians too). Here’s hoping the new album is full of fierce tracks—and Bobby B. doesn’t get a dime. 1. Star Jones Gets Her Ass Fired — Hands down my favorite moment of this year… of any year. And why? Because I unapologetically loathe Star so much I actually reveled in her misery. And I can’t think of any better way to say that than the way we said it the first time. So allow me to take you down memory lane with an excerpt! … Along about the time Barbara Walters announced Rosie O’Donnell would be joining The View as a replacement for Meredith Vieira, the conversations began. Would Joy Behar be announcing an exit soon? Because it seems to me the only thing that separates Joy from Rosie is the fact that Ro likes to mow.

Q Puzzle Kneel, Patrick

63 Bone, to Marcella Hazan 64 City where “gay” is “frohlich” Down 1 Lincoln Center’s Walter ___ Theater 2 ___ water (imperiled at the bathhouse?) 3 Lorca’s “Later!” 4 Half of a pair for grabbing 5 “The Advocate” piece, e.g. 6 Moon of _Frasier_ 7 Norse port 8 Dog with an upturned tail 9 Begin to go cruising 10 Britten’s “Billy Budd” and “Peter Grimes” 11 Wheat ___ (granola lesbian’s choice) 12 Tobias pseudonym 13 “Horny” animal 21 Stephen McCauley’s “The ___ Way Out” 22 Ziegfeld Follies costume designer 26 It was sometimes split, for Kopay 28 Film exposing Treat Williams 29 Potent leader

30 Small balls 31 Lettuce variety 32 Beginning of _Wicked_ 33 Take another tour 34 Bernstein’s fifth 37 Moby Dick stickers 38 Witty, like David Sedaris 40 “Why should ___ you?” 41 Jacques Cousteau went down in it 42 Celeste of “All About Eve” 43 1984 Lily Tomlin movie 45 Call to author James? 46 ___ stay (like a longterm partner) 49 Burns a bit 50 Male partner of St. Bacchus 51 Burning desire 52 Ingrid’s role in “Casablanca” 53 Editor Roshan 54 Like “Fifty Million Frenchmen” coming together 55 Some like them hot 56 Mo. named after a Caesar

fatty was but a distant memory. Her face had been edited out of the opening credits (I wonder what poor schlub ABC got to pull an all-nighter for that one), three chairs surrounded the table instead of four and Barbara, the picture of professionalism, told America that after months of pretending everything was “the same” at that table, it had become impossible, and Star would no longer be appearing on the program. Holy shit! That’s, like, the ultimate slap. Word is Star only had another two weeks to go. She pissed those ladies off so much, they couldn’t even take that? That’s some shaky ground, girls! So what’s next for the diva of daytime? We now know she’s got a semisyndicated show on AM radio (that’s career death, for those of you trying to find it) and she says she plans to work on legal advocacy for foster children and teach middle school in Harlem. Parents all over Harlem are rolling quarters for prep school transfers next year. Thanks for your time and your love this year—your dedication to this column has made it one of our most read in the history of our family of sites, and I thank you. Now—here’s to more shit hitting the fan in 2007. Q

Seeking Artists for GalleryQ A Monthly Visual and performance art experience. Be part of a queer-positive roving gallery in fun and interesting locations.

Please email GalleryQ@ qsaltlake.com

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Across 1 Gay rodeo accessory 6 George O’Malley, et al. 10 Fairy-tale monster 14 Biblical witch’s home 15 Tennis stadium in Queens 16 Take off your clothes 17 Drop ___ (flirt, perhaps) 18 Rupert Everett’s “The ___ to Kill Hitler” 19 The Phantom of the Opera’s name 20 Early title role for Neil Patrick 23 Heteros, on PlanetOut? 24 When repeated, a 1953 Cole Porter musical 25 The Indigo Girls’ “___ Mia” 26 Additional 27 “Hairspray,” for one 31 Neil Patrick’s role in 37- /52-Across 34 Foot fetish target 35 Grp. for 20-Across 36 Put the top on the

cake 37 With 52-Across, sitcom with Neil Patrick 38 One that can blow you? 39 Dame E. Sitwell’s heat measure 40 Suffix with poet 42 Neil Patrick of this puzzle’s theme 44 Like an Eskimo that goes both ways? 46 Communion at the Cathedral of Hope 47 “Can’t ___ Lovin’ That Man of Mine” 48 Wing for Julia Morgan 49 Stonewall Jackson’s land (abbr.) 52 See 37-Across 56 Cumming on “The L Word” 57 Gomer’s loaf 58 Homophobia and such 59 Visitor at gay.com 60 Prissy hissy 61 Bette’s “All About Eve” role 62 Gay demographer Gates

And as we’ve all seen over the last several months just how well Joy and Star seemed to be getting along (about the time Joy told Star to get off herself and start talking about stuff people gave a shit about during her boob job scare, it became apparent they were on the outs). So, it seemed only natural one of them would have to go. But then talk turned to the fact that it was Star who’d be getting the ole’ heave ho. You see, America hasn’t really liked the bitch since she married a homo and sent AmEx the bill. And they really lost interest when she dropped a ton and said it was all in her diet. Diet my ass, lady. You can’t lose the equivalent of a Volvo by suddenly switching to Lean Cuisine. Surgery, a trainer, electroshock therapy, a lobotomy? Doesn’t matter what you did, but fess up, lady! And so, word is, around the time Rosie was announced as the heir apparent to Meredith’s throne, Star was told her services would no longer be needed. Barbara insists ABC gave Star the ax months earlier, but the idea that they cut the bitch the same day they gave a dyke a deal makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Now here’s where the story starts to get a bit sketchy. According to Barbara, Star had been prepared for her last day for months. But Star, never one to go down without causing some sort of a commotion, spilled the beans two days early, catching the ladies (even blondie) off guard! They held hands. They cried. But the look in Barbara’s eye said more than “bon voyage.” “Casse toi conasse” is more like it – that’s “get out ho” for those of you taking notes. Not to mention the People Magazine exclusive that leaked minutes after The View went off the air, in which Star says candidly, “I was fired.” The following morning, the former

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Get the Nurse Muscle Strain By Jennifer Medvin, RN getthenurse@qsaltlake.com

A muscle strain (or pulled muscle) is an injury where the muscle fibers tear as a result of sudden stress that may be too much for the muscle to bear. This stress can occur during the course of normal daily activities, with quick heavy lifting, during sports, or while performing tasks at work. Muscle strains can happen to anyone, but athletes are more at

risk of developing a strain. Muscle Strain Symptoms Typically, people with a muscle strain experience localized swelling, pain, tenderness, redness, cramping or inflammation. Some may also find general weakness of the muscle when they attempt to move it. In the most severe cases, bruising may even show due to bleeding underneath the skin. Care at home Take non-steroidal anti-inflammatory agents, such as ibuprofen, to reduce the pain and to improve your ability to move around. Make sure taking this medication is approved by your healthcare provider. Implementing the RICE method often helps with many types of joint and muscle injuries. Before you begin, be

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sure to remove all constrictive clothing, including jewelry, in the area of muscle strain. Rest. Rest the strained muscle until the pain decreases. For simple sore muscles, however, gentle stretching will reduce stiffness more quickly. Ice. Ice is the most effective anti-inflammatory and pain-relieving treatment for injured muscles, joints and connective tissues. Apply ice as soon as possible after injury, even if you plan to visit your healthcare provider. Apply the ice for 20 minutes every 2 hours while awake. You can substitute small ice packs with packages of frozen vegetables. (Note: Always use a protective covering such as a towel between the ice or heat and bare skin.) Do not apply heat to an injury during the first 48 to 72 hours. Heat increases blood flow to the affected area, which can worsen the swelling and pain. Compress. Compression can be a gently applied with an Ace or other elastic bandage, which can decrease swelling and provide support. Do not sleep with the wrap on and do not wrap it tightly. If the wrap begins to cause pain or numbness, or if toes become cool or white, remove the elastic bandage and wrap it more loosely. Elevate. To decrease swelling, elevate the injured area. At bedtime, place a pillow under the area to support and raise it. Protect the strained muscle from activities that increase muscle pain or work the affected body part until the pain has been relieved.

Preventing muscle strains Tight muscles are vulnerable to strain, so avoid injury by stretching daily. If there is any pain associated with the stretching, you should stop immediately. Excessive stretching can be harmful, and even slow the healing process. Also, it would be beneficial to condition your muscles with a regular exercise program. You should consult your physician about an exercise program appropriate for you. Seeking medical care If the home care methods fail to bring any relief, call your healthcare provider. They can determine the extent of your muscle and/or tendon injury and if crutches or a brace are necessary for healing. Remember that recovery from a mild muscle strain can take 10 days to 3 weeks. A severe strain can take up to 6 months. Make sure you take time to allow the muscle to heal before you resume your exercise program. American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons â&#x20AC;&#x201C; aaos.org. American Orthopedic Society for Sports Medicine â&#x20AC;&#x201D; sportsmed. org Jennifer Medvin is a perioperative registered nurse at a level II trauma hospital in Southern California. If you would like information about a certain medical subject, let Jennifer know here: getthenurse@ gmail.com

Comics

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Community Guide Pride at Work, Utah Chapter. . . . . . . . 531-6137 QUEST (Queer Utah Educators & Students Together) . . . 809-5595 National Conference for Community and Justice 359 W Pierpont Ave. . . 359-5102 National Organization for Women . . . . . . . . . . . . 483-5188 Pride at Work, Utah Chapter. . . . . . . . 531-6137 Salt Lake County Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Employees. . . 273-6280 jdonchess@slco.org UTAH GLBT BUSINESS GUILD utahglbtbusinessguild.org Utah Progressive Network, UPNet . . . . . . . . . . . . . 466-0955

ALCOHOL & DRUG TREATMENT

Alcohol/Drug Detoxification Center. . . . . . . . . . . . . 363-9400 Alcoholics Anonymous. . . . 484-7871 utahaa.org Sunday 3pm â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Acceptance Group, Utah Pride Center Monday 8pm â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Gay Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Stag Utah Pride Center Tuesday 8pm â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Live and Let Live St Pauls Episcopal Church Wednesday 7:30pm â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Sober Today 4601 S 300 W, Washington Terrace Friday 8pm â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Stonewall Group St Pauls Episcopal Church, 261 S 900 E Alternatives, Inc.. . .(800) 342-5429 alternativesinc.com alternativesinc@att.net Center for Women and Children. . . . . . . . . . . . 261-9177 Crystal Meth Anonymous 859-4132 crystalmeth.org Saturday 7:30pm â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Utah Pride Ctr Discovery House. . . . . . . . 596-2111 discoveryhouse.com First Step House 411 N Grant St. . . . . . . 359-8862 Harm Reduction Project . . 355-0234 ihrproject.org The Haven . . . . . . . . . . . . 533-0070 Metamorphosis breakaddiction.org Ogden Clinic, 536 24th St, Ste 6-A . . 622-5272 Salt Lake City Clinic, 339 E 3900 S. . . . . . . . 261-5790 Serenity House uafut.org Substance Abuse Day Treatment Program. . . . . . . . . . . . 355-1528

American Civil Liberties Union, ACLU . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 521-9862 acluutah.org, aclu@acluutah.org Disability Law Center. . . . . . . . (800) 662-9080 info@disabilitylawcenter.org EQUALITY UTAH. . . . . . . . . 355-3479 equalityutah.org, info@equalityutah.org Human Rights Campaign . . . . . . . . . . . . . (202) 628-4160 Human Rights Campaign, Utah hrc.org, HRCSaltLakeUT@aol.com Log Cabin Republicans, Utah lcrutah.org, lcr@lcrutah.org Utah Stonewall Democrats utahstonewalldemocrats.org njmikeutah@yahoo.com 455 S 300 E, Ste 102. . 328-1212

Information & Referral Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . 978-3333 informationandreferral.org U of U Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Resource Center. . . . . . . . . . . . . 581-8030 sa.utah.edu/women U of U LGBT Resource Center. . . . . . . . . . . . . 587-7973

RELIGIOUS & SPIRITUAL Affirmation â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Salt Lake Chapter affirmation.org. . . . . . . 486-6977 Cache Valley Unitarian Universalists 596 E 900 N, Logan . 435-755-2888 First Baptist Church of Salt Lake firstbaptist-slc.org, office@firstbaptist-slc.org 777 S 1300 E. . . . . . . . 582-4921 First Unitarian Church slcuu.org 569 S 1300 E . . . . . . . 582-8687 Glory to God Community Church 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden . . . . . . . . . . . . . 394-0204 Holladay United Church of Christ 2631 E Murray-Holladay Rd . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 277-2631 Inner Light Center. . . . . . . 268-1137 innerlightcenter.net Integrity/Utah - St. James Church. . . 566-1311 Lifebreath Center/Interfaith Ministry 363-9229

HEALTH & HIV Camp Pinecliff . . . . . . . . . 518-8733 City of Hope, Utah Chapter . . . . . . . . 531-6334 Gay Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Health Summit â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Invenio utahgaymenshealth.com Northern Utah HIV/AIDS Project Walk-Ins Welcome. Every other Monday 5â&#x20AC;&#x201C;7pm 846 24th St, Ogden . . 393-4153 People with AIDS Coalition of Utah 175 W 200 S, Ste 2010. . . . . . . . . . . 484-2205 Salt Lake Valley Health Dept. HIV/STD Clinic 610 S 200 E. . . . . . . . . 534-4666 University of Utah Department of Family and Preventative Medicine uuhsc.utah.edu/dfpm 581-7234 Utah AIDS Foundation. . . . 487-2323 utahaids.org, mail@utahaids.org

Aetna ANGLE. . . . . . . . . . . 256-7137 HuntR@Aetna.com Armed Forces Support Group. . . . . . . 581-7890 LGBTQ-Affirmative Psychotherapists Guild of Utah www.lgbtqtherapists.com

Homeless Services Center for Women and Children. . . . . . . . . . . . 261-9177

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SPORTS Frontrunners Utah. . . . . . . 519-8889 frontrunnersutah.org Lambda Hiking Club . . . . . 532-8447 gayhike.org Mountain West Flag Football League mwffl.org . . . . . . . . . . 359-2544 Mountain West Volleyball League slcgaa.org . . . . . . . . . . 407-6183 QUAC â&#x20AC;&#x201C; QUEER UTAH AQUATIC CLUB quacquac.org, questions@ quacquac.org. . . . . . . . 232-7961 Salt Lake City Gay Athletic Association, slcgaa.org

Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League. . . . . . . . . . . . . 832-9745 Stonewall Shooting Sports of Utah stonewallshootingsportsutah.org Utah Gay and Lesbian Ski Week communityvisions.org . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 877-429-6368 Utah Gay Mountain Bike Riders sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/ utahgaymtnbike

UNIVERSITY & COLLEGE Gay and at BYU groups.yahoo.com/group/gayandatBYU/

Gay-Straight Alliance Network gsanetwork.org/ University of Utah Lesbian & Gay Student Union utah.edu/lgsu/ Salt Lake Community College Coloring Outside the Lines. . 957-4562 coloring_outside_lines@yahoo.com Southern Utah University Pride suu.edu/orgs/pride/ Utah State University Pride Alliance groups.yahoo.com/group/usupride/ Utah State University Gay and Lesbian Student Resource Center usu.edu/glsrc, . . . 435-797-4297 usuglsrc@yahoo.com Utah Valley State College Gay Straight Alliance uvsc.edu/clubs/club.cfm?clubID=251 groups.yahoo.com/group/uvscgsa Weber State University Gay Straight Alliance organizations.weber.edu/dlsu/ groups.yahoo.com/group/WeberDLSU WeberDLSU@yahoo.com

YOUTH Homeless Youth Resource Center Youth ages 15-21. 655 S State St. . . . . . . 364-0744 Gay LDS Young Adults glya.com Youth Activity Center Drop-in hours: Wednesdays: 3 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 9 pm, Thursdays: 3 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 9 pm Fridays: 3 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 10 pm, Saturdays: 5 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 10 pm 355 N 300 W. . . . . 539-8800 x14

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Affirmation â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Salt Lake Chapter affirmation.org. . . . . . . 486-6977 Best Friends Animal Sanctuary strutyourmutt.org . . . . 483-2000 Bisexual Community Forum . . . . . . . . . . . . 539-8800 ext 14 Meets the 2nd Thurs each month at 7pm in the Multi-purpose room at the Center. Body Electricâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Celebrating the Body Erotic. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 322-1444 slcbecordinator@msn.com Camp Pinecliff . . . . . . . . . 518-8733 Coloring Outside The Lines . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 957-4562 Delta Lambda Sappho Union Weber State Univ.. . . . 627-1639 Engendered Species engenderedspecies.com 320-0551 Gamofites gamofites.org . . . . . . . 444-3602 Gay and Lesbian Parents of Utah. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 467-9010 glccu.com/glpu, glpu@hotmail.com Gay Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Health Summit â&#x20AC;&#x201D; INVENIO utahgaymenshealth.com Imperial Rainbow Court of Northern Utah, irconu.org Kindly Gifts by Stitch & Bitch . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 487-7008 P-FLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) pflagslc.org Polyamory Society. . . . . . 309-7240 1st Tue 7-9:30pm at the Black Box Theater at the Center

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SOCIAL

qVinum gay & lesbian wine group www.qvinum.com Retired and Senior Volunteer Program. . . . . . . . . . . . 779-1287 Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire. . . . . . . . . . . . . 531-1115 rcgse.org, chairman@rcgse.org Southern Utah GLBT Community Center. . . . . . . . (435) 313-GLBT groups.yahoo.com/groups/suglbtcc, suglbtcc@yahoo.com STRENGTH IN NUMBERS (SIN) SALT LAKE health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ SINSaltLake sWerve swerveutah.com U of U Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Resource Center. . . . . . . . . . . . . 581-8030 sa.utah.edu/women U of U LGBT Resource Center. . . . . . . . . . . . . 587-7973 UTAH BEAR ALLIANCE utahbears.com. . . . . . . 949-3989 Utah Families Coalition, UFC . . . . . . . . . 539-8800 Ext. 23 utahfamilies.org, admin@utahfamilies.org Utah Gay Pride 2007 utahpride.org Utah Male Naturists www.umen.org Utah Power Exchange. . . . 975-0346 utahpowerexchange.orgâ&#x20AC;&#x201A; Membership@UtahPowerExchange.org UTAH PRIDE CENTER utahpridecenter.org, thecenter@utahpridecenter.org 361 N 300 W. . . . . . . . 539-8800 Toll-free. . . . . . . . 888-874-2743 Utah Queer Events groups.yahoo.com/group/ UtahQueerEvents Western Transsexual Support Group (435) 882-8136

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POLITICAL

EDUCATIONAL

BUSINESS & Professional

*ORDAN 2IVER

Homeless Youth Resource Center Youth ages 15-21. 655 S State St . . . . . . . 364-0744 The Road Home . . . . . . . . 359-4142 theroadhome.org YWCA, 322 E 300 S. . . . . . 537-8600

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Organizations

Metropolitan Community Church â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Bridgerland 1315 E 700 N, Logan . . . . . . . . (435) 750-5026 Metropolitan Community ChurchSacred Light 823 S 600 E . . . . . . . . 595-0052 Provo Community United Church of Christ 175 N University Ave, Provo. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 375-9115 Restoration Church of Jesus Christ 2900 S State St. . . . . . 359-1151 Sacred Light of Christ Metropolitan Community Church 823 S 600 E. . . . . . . . . 595-0052 South Valley Unitarian Universalist Society 6876 S Highland Drive 944-9723 Unitarian Universalist Church of Ogden 705 23rd St, Ogden. . . 394-3338

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