QSaltLake, March 16, 2007

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FREE

ay & Les Utah’s G

March 16–31, 2007

GA ZINE   A M T N E M NTERTAIN E & s w bian Ne

ISSUE 74

Gay Catholic Mass is Stopped After only three months, the controversy takes its toll

Gay Clubs Bill is Signed by the Governor

Critics call the law unconstitutionally vague

Treatment of Gay Students at BYU to be Protested Utah Pride to Hold ‘Queer Idol’ Kathy Worthington Remembered Crossword and Sudoku Comics The Gay Agenda

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Wyoming Lesbians are Denied Communion

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Contents MARCH 16–31, 2007

Rock Bottom

Opinion From the Editor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12

Meth and Gay Men

Growing Up Queer in Kanab. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Queer Gnosis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13

Page 20

Catholic Mass for Gays and Lesbians Cancelled Page 8

Laurie Mecham. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Ruby Ridge. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Lambda Lore. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Ruth Hackford-Peer. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Gay Geeks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19

University of Utah LGBT Recruitment Draws None

Ryan Shattuck . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 In Search Of. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18

Page 10

Arts & Entertainment

Huntsman Signs Gay Clubs Restrictions Into Law

The Gay Agenda. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

Page 9

True Colors Tour Coming to Utah. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 Restaurant Review. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29 Dining Guide. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .31 Hollywood Buzz. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34

Wyoming Lesbian Couple Denied Communion Page 7

Rox Box. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34 Ask a Porn Star. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35 Comics. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35 Crossword, Sudoku. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 Horoscope . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37

Harvey Milk Memorial Bust Chosen

Classifieds . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39

Page 4

The Back Page. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40

Editor-in-Chief

Michael Aaron Assistant Editor

JoSelle Vanderhooft Arts Editor

Tony Hobday Journalists

PHOTOGRAPHERS

Dave Harris Brek Joos

Michael Aaron Joshua Barnes JoSelle Vanderhooft OFFICE MANAGER

Tony Hobday PUBLISHER

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Anthony Cuesta Troy Espera Ruth Hackford-Peer Chad Keller Laurie Mecham Jennifer Medvin, RN J. Paul Miles David Nelson Ruby Ridge Mikey Rox David Samsel Ryan Shattuck Mark Thrash Ross Von Metzke Dylan Vox Duane Wells Ben Williams Troy Williams

SALES

J.Low

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News

Moscow’s regime”. “Mayor Luzhkov may be able to muzzle free speech and the right to protest in Moscow, but he cannot get away with such tactics in London,” Tatchell said. “It was exceedingly discourteous for Luzhkov’s staff to abuse the hospitality of the Mayor of London in this way.” “The mistreatment of Alekseev was filmed by TV crews. It provides irrefutable evidence. I hope the London police will press charges,” he added.

World

Italians Support Gay Marriage Bill By Anthony Cuesta

Rome — Thousands rallied in Rome on March 10 to support legislation that would grant domestic partner rights to gays and lesbians. The proposal would grant hospital visitation, inheritance and other legal rights to unmarried couples who live together both in heterosexual and same-sex relationships. Some rights, such as hospital visitation, would be granted immediately, while couples would have to live together for several years to be eligible for inheritance and other rights. Demonstrators filled a Roman piazza to support the bill. Some protesters wore bishops’ mitres with slogans against the Vatican, which sees the bill as an attack on the idea that families are based on marriage between men and women. The rally included leftists from Prime Minister Romano Prodi’s coalition, which is divided on the issue. Some coalition Catholics call homosexuals “deviant” and promise to shoot down the bill, which a parliamentary committee is studying. Last month, Italy’s cabinet approved the proposal, which faces a potentially tough battle in Parliament, and has

heightened tensions within Italy’s centerleft government. Pope Benedict XVI has mounted a strong campaign against legal recognition of unmarried couples. Opponents of the measure said they will hold a “family day” rally soon against the proposal.

Russian Press Secretary Allegedly Assaults Gay Journalist Moscow — The Metropolitan Police are investigating a complaint of an alleged assault on Russian gay activist and journalist Nikolai Alekseev in London last week following a press conference given by the mayors of London, Berlin, Paris, Moscow and Beijing at City Hall. Sergi Tsoi, the press secretary of Moscow mayor Yuri Luzhkov, is alleged to have approached Alekseev, who was displaying a Moscow Pride flag, and grabbed the flag, using physical force and threats. The alleged incident, which happened shortly after the five mayors had left the press conference, was filmed and widely shown on Russian network NTV in late February.

Nikolai Alekseev holding a Moscow Gay Pride flag shortly before the mayor’s press secretary allegedly assaulted him in front of dozens of television cameras

On March 8 Alekseev said that he had reported the incident to the Metropolitan Police as a homophobic assault. On the same day a spokesman for the police said that “police are investigating a report of an alleged assault at City Hall”. Speaking from Moscow, Alekseev commented: “In Russia, people of such high standing get away with such incidents, but in Britain there is a slightly different perception of law. According to British law, Tsoi committed a crime and he should be responsible for it. “Tsoi has used homophobic statements before – and now he is underpinning them with physical action in front of the media which means he feels more and more untouchable,” Alekseev added. Gay human rights activist Peter Tatchell of gay Outrage!, a London-based gay rights group , was also demonstrating outside City Hall against the Moscow Mayor and his banning of Moscow Gay Pride. Tatchell described the incident as “thuggish bullying” when he saw the television footage. “It reveals yet again the repressive, authoritarian nature of the Mayor of

Israel: Palestinian Lesbian Conference Criticized By Troy Espera

Tel Aviv, Israel — Islamic Movement leaders in Israel have condemned plans for a Palestinian lesbian group to hold a conference in Haifa at the end of the month. In early March the movement’s heads, MKs Ibrahim Sarsur and Abas Zkoor (United Arab List-Ta’al) published a statement calling on “all respectable people from all communities and streams to stand up against preaching sexual deviance among our women and girls.” “Lesbians ... need treatment, they don’t need to spread their strange ideas in the Arab community,” said Mohammed Zbidat, a spokesman for the Islamic Movement, told the Associated Press. Islam strictly prohibits homosexuality. The Islamic Movement statement also said, “We must not let this fatal cancer spread in our community.” Asawat, an 85-member Palestinian gay women’s organization based in Haifa, has called the March 28 conference to mark its five-year anniversary. Asawat said it was studying the situation and would respond when it saw fit.  Q

National LDS Student Under Fire for Gay Slur

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Santa Rosa, Calif. — An LDS student disciplined in 2002 for responding to taunts about her Mormon upbringing by saying “That’s so gay” recently said she didn’t intend to use the phrase as an anti-gay slur. Instead, Rebekah Rice, now 18, testified in late February that she used the phrase to mean: “That’s so stupid, that’s so silly, that’s so dumb.” But in the wake of a 2001 case where two students at Rice’s school were paid to beat up a gay student, officials at Maria Carillo High in Santa Rosa, Calif., said they had to take action to protect gay students from harassment. They gave Rice a warning and a notation in her permanent record. “The district has a statutory duty to protect gay students from harassment,” the district’s lawyers said in a legal brief. “In furtherance of this goal, prohibition of the phrase ‘That’s so gay’ ... was a reasonable regulation.” Rice’s parents sued, saying the school violated their daughter’s First Amendment rights and used a double standard by failing to protect her from harassment for her religious beliefs. They also allege their daughter was targeted because of her family’s beliefs about sexuality. The Rices are seeking unspecified damages and the removal of the incident from their daughter’s record. Superior Court Judge Elaine Rushing will rule on the case after final written

arguments are submitted in the non-jury trial next month.

Gay D.C. Man Wins Gun Rights By Troy Espera

Washington D.C. — A Washington, D.C. gay man helped persuade a U.S. appeals court to strike down a ban on hand guns in the nation’s capital on March 9. Tom G. Palmer was one of six plaintiffs who won a 2 to 1 ruling by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit when it disagreed with a U.S. District judge that the federal Second Amendment protected no individual rights. Palmer told the court that as a gay man he’d “been assaulted on account of his sexual orientation and successfully warded off the assault with a handgun.” The appellate opinion of Parker v. District of Columbia was reversed and remanded to the U.S. District judge for trial. It was the first legal defeat for the District’s 31-year-old firearm ban. Lawyers on both sides of the gun-control debate called the decision significant: it was the first time a federal appeals court has voided a gun law on the basis of the Second Amendment, they said. A leading gun-control advocate denounced the ruling as “judicial activism at its worst.” The case is expected to reach the United States Supreme Court.  Q

Daub Tirmin Hendrickson Sculpture Group

Bust Chosen for SF City Hall Harvey Milk Memorial The Daub Firmin Hendrickson Sculpture group was selected as the winner of the national competition to create a commemorative sculpture of the late Supervisor Harvey Milk. As one of the first openly gay elected officials in the world, Milk became a hero to the gay civil rights movement. On Nov. 27, 1978 Milk and then San Francisco Mayor George Moscone were assassinated in their city hall offices. Moscone’s outspoken support for the gay rights movement was unprecedented at that time. The winning artists team was selected by a panel of judges comprised of community members and arts professionals. The panel was charged with the selection of three finalists from over 40 entries in a national competition that was launched June 1, 2006. The clay maquettes and pedestal drawings by the three finalists were displayed for the public for four days in San Francisco City Hall in January. The public was invited to submit written commentary about the proposals displayed and to indicate their favorite. The judging panel then reconvened to select the winning proposal after reviewing the maquettes and the public commentary. Over 300 commentary forms were submitted which overwhelmingly favored the Daub, Firmin, Hendrickson proposal. The winning team will be will be given a full year to complete the finished sculpture. The commemorative sculpture and pedestal will be 75” in height. The selected artist will be awarded $57,500 to fabricate a bronze sculpture with a stone base that will include an excerpt from Harvey Milk’s beloved Hope speech. The Ceremonial Rotunda adjacent to the Board of Supervisor’s Chambers is being considered as a site for the Milk sculpture pending confirmation. The inscription on the pedestal will read: Harvey Bernard Milk May 22, 1930 – November 27, 1978 Elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors on Nov. 8, 1977

Presented as a gift to the City of San Francisco by the Bob Ross Foundation and hundreds of individual donors from around the world. Collection of the San Francisco Arts Commission

The idea of honoring Harvey Milk with a sculpture to be placed inside City Hall generated much interest and attracted applicants representing the best in the field nation-wide. The winners share the enthusiasm of the organizers in this great opportunity to commemorate Harvey Milk. The non-profit Harvey Milk City Hall Memorial Committee launched the sculpture competition in June 2006 after a three-year fundraising drive. Q

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The only thing they have to look forward to is hope. And you have to give them hope. Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a better place to come to if the pressures at home are too great. Hope that all will be right. —Harvey Milk, The Hope Speech, 1978

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News

National

Court Hears Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Case Boston, Mass. — On March 7 the Massachusetts First Circuit Court of Appeals heard oral arguments in an appeal filed by veterans dismissed under the U.S. military’s “Don’t ask, don’t tell” ban on lesbian, gay and bisexual service members. The veterans, who C. Dixon Osburn, Service­members all served during Legal Defense Network the current “war on terror,” asked the court to reverse a lower court ruling dismissing their

constitutional challenge to the law. The lawsuit, Cook v. Gates, was filed on behalf of the plaintiffs by Servicemembers Legal Defense Network and the law firm of WilmerHale on Nov. 14, 2006. “When we began this journey in December 2004, we were determined to have our stories heard and to present the facts about ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell.’ Today’s hearing was an important step forward in that journey,” the plaintiffs said in a statement issued March 7. “This morning, we have come to the First Circuit with unmovable confidence in our nation’s promise of ‘liberty and justice for all.’ We believe the freedoms we defended as United States military

personnel are alive and well in our country. We know our nation can do better than this law.” The twelve plaintiffs in Cook v. Gates are seeking reinstatement in the armed forces. Their lawsuit asserts that “Don’t ask, don’t tell” punishes lesbian, gay and bisexual service members for their sexual orientation and for their private, constitutionally protected conduct. As a result they say it has denied and continues to deny them several constitutional rights, including the right to privacy, equal protection of the law and freedom of speech. “There is no doubt in our mind that this law violates many of the core principles set forth in our constitution,” SLDN Executive Director C. Dixon Osburn said. “Every day, lesbian, gay and bisexual service members are prohibited from simply identifying themselves as who they are. They are denied the fundamental right to privacy that every American should enjoy and they are set aside by our armed forces with a second class of citizenship. The freedoms they fight so hard for abroad are denied to

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them right here at home.” The plaintiffs in the lawsuit all served honorably in the United States Army, Navy, Air Force and Coast Guard. Together, they have served more than 65 years in the armed forces. Three have served in direct support of operations in the Middle East. Among them, they have earned more than five dozen awards, medals and commendations. For more information on Cook v. Gates, including biographies of the plaintiffs in the lawsuit, visit www.sldn.org.

Iowa: Lt. Gov. Supports Inclusive Civil Rights Code Des Moines, Iowa­ — On March 7, Iowa’s Lt. Governor Patty Judge and State Senate Leader Mike Gronstal, D-Council Bluffs, joined the Iowa Pride Network College Coalition at a State Capitol press conference to advocate for the Iowa Civil Rights Code to include lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Iowa Lt. Governor Patty Judge persons. “Our state’s civil rights code has a glaring omission — our LGBT community is not protected. We know that gays and lesbians are discriminated against in our society, and they currently have no recourse or protection under the law. This simply is unacceptable,” said the Lt. Governor. “Discrimination and intolerance have no place in our society, and that is why the governor and I are supporting this simple, yet inclusive, change to our civil rights code.” Iowa’s current civil rights code does not extend protection to gay people. By changing the code, it will prohibit discrimination in employment, housing, credit, public accommodation and education based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Currently three of the six states that border Iowa — Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Illinois — have state statutes that prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. Speaking at the capitol press conference, Leah Gjertson, a second year law student at Drake University and coalition member, said, “The unavailability of employment protection for LGBT people is a major part of my decision to stay or leave Iowa. Why would I put myself and the family I hope to have at risk by working in Iowa when discrimination protection is offered elsewhere?” “Adding sexual orientation and gender identity to the state civil rights code is not only a solution to the “brain drain” of LGBT graduates; it is a necessary step for any state that would claim that all of its citizens are equal human beings,” said Matt Fender, a junior at Iowa State University. The press conference coincided with the College Coalition’s second LGBT and Allied Student Day at the capitol. The College Coalition brings university and college gay student groups together to put a human face on the type of adversity that many gay youth face and promote social and political solutions. Q

Regional Wyoming Lesbians Denied Communion

Colo. Gay Adoption Bill Advances By Anthony Cuesta

Denver, Colo. — A Colorado bill granting adoption rights to same-sex couples and unmarried partners was pushed forward in a House committee March 8 without a single witness testifying against it. One reason the opposition might not have been present is that Democratic leadership sprang the bill just three days previous to the vote. It was placed on the calendar of the House Health and Human Services Committee on March 8 and passed by an 8-3 vote. “More than half of children in the United States are in nontraditional homes, like a single mom or single parent or with a grandparent,� said the bill’s

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Brokeback Mutton: ‘Gay’ Sheep Study in Idaho Dubois, Idaho — According to an article by researchers involved in the project, here’s how it works. In a 15-by-10-foot “arena,� a young ram is offered four choices: two ewes in heat, and two rams. “The four stimulus animals are restrained in stanchions so that they can only be approached from the sides and rear.� For 30 minutes, the unrestrained ram does as he pleases — and the scientists keep score. A bare majority of rams turns out to be heterosexual. About one in five swings both ways. About 15 percent are asexual, and seven to 10 percent are gay. And a crucial part of their brains — the “sexually dimorphic nucleus� — looks more like a ewe’s than that of a straight ram. Gay men’s brains similarly resemble those of women. Charles Roselli, the project’s lead scientist, says that such research “strongly suggests that sexual preference is biologically determined in animals, and possibly in humans.� Roselli didn’t just prove that homosexuality in rams is natural. He tried to engineer it. In a 1999 grant application, he proposed to determine whether male-oriented “preference behavior can be artificially produced in genetic male sheep� by depriving male lamb fetuses of estrogen stimulation. Seven months ago, he reported that the experiment failed. The point wasn’t to promote homosexuality. The point was to learn what causes it. You’d expect conservatives to demand that the National Institutes of Health stop funding this research. But if you figure out how to make sheep gay, maybe you could figure out how to make them straight. And maybe you could do the same to people. Roselli studies hormones, brains and behavior at Oregon Health and Science University, a medical institution. But Fred Stormshak, his collaborator, is an animal scientist affiliated with Oregon State University, which focuses more on agriculture and economics.

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Gillette, Wyo. — Catholic leaders have told a Gillette lesbian couple they can no longer receive communion at their parish in part because of their public opposition to a bill that would have barred Wyoming from recognizing same-sex marriages performed elsewhere. On March 1 Leah Vader said she and her partner Lynne Huskinson received a letter from the Rev. Cliff Jacobson, pastor of St. Matthews’s Catholic Church, that stated, “because of your union and your public advocacy of same-sex unions ... you are unable to receive communion.� The letter referenced a public statements Vader and Huskinson, who were married in Canada in 2006, made in a January 31 Caspar Star Tribune article about the bill. In the article Vader called the bill prejudiced. “We have a completely legal marriage,� she said. “I’m talking about full faith and credit.� The bill failed in the House last month. Jacobson told the Gillette News-Record that the Cheyenne Diocese partly took action because of how the women’s comments were made. “We’re not the bedroom police. That, ultimately, comes between the person and God,� he said. “But it puts it in a much different light with a public nature. It’s the idea of scandal, we profess our faith and belief as Catholics on one level, and practice something else at a public level.� The Catholic Church teaches that marriage is the permanent union between a man and a woman. It teaches that while having a homosexual orientation is not sinful, acting upon that orientation by having homosexual sex is a serious sin. The church also teaches that members who persist in serious sins should not take communion. Vader said she saw the diocese’s move as discriminatory, and that she was particularly disturbed that the decision denying her and her partner communion came during Lent, the forty day period leading to Easter which is also the church’s holiest season. “This is the one food we all need,� she said. “Of all the sacraments, it’s the one that should be taken frequently.� Vader and Huskinson have attended St. Matthews’ since 1998, and Huskinson was baptized there in 2000. They said they will not return to church so as not to cause a distraction.

sponsor Rep. Alice Madden, D-Boulder, House majority leader, told the Rocky Mountain News. “This bill would allow more Colorado children to have two parents,� she said. “Children don’t choose their parents, and society shouldn’t put up obstacles to two-parent homes.� The Colorado Springs Gazette reports that Jim Pfaff, president of Colorado Family Action, promised traditionalfamily advocates will try to fight House Bill 1330 on the House floor. He blamed a scheduling conflict and the Democrats’ “ramrodding� of the bill for his missing the committee hearing. “All the high-minded discussion of ‘protecting children’ and ‘parental responsibility’ is merely a smokescreen for the true intent of this legislation: paving the way for homosexual adoption,� Pfaff wrote on the Focus on the Family Web site. Colorado law allows married couples or single individuals to adopt a child. Madden’s bill would extend that right to a specified second adult parent that could include a same-sex partner, an unmarried opposite-sex partner or a relative seeking to help a single mother. “This provides some security that children need,� said Rep. Gwyn Green, a Denver Democrat and retired social worker. “It’s a children’s bill above all else.� The bill moves now to the House. If it passes and gets Gov. Bill Ritter’s signature, Colorado would become the 25th state to allow adoptions by same-sex couples.

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Local News

Park City Catholic Priest Ends Gay-Welcoming Masses by JoSelle Vanderhooft joselle@qsaltlake.com

After only three months, the monthly Masses for gays and lesbians and their friends and families held at St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Park City are on their way out. Monsignor Robert Bussen began the services in January in hopes of making gays and lesbians feel welcome in a religion whose leadership has frequently condemned them and even blamed gay priests for the widely publicized 2002 pedophile scandals. “The sexual abuse scandal really laid a trip on every Catholic. As that story unfolded it was blamed on gay priests. The message was clear, get back in the closet and behave,” Bussen told The Park Record on March 13. Although several parishioners thanked him for the services, others accused him of using the Masses to endorse homosexuality. These criticisms combined with increasing media attention in local newspapers and several conservative Catholic blogs made him decide to end the Masses. The March 17 service will be the last.

“The media spotlight on the parish, on the gay community and on me made it an uncomfortable place to be. It was no longer tenable,” Bussen said. “If it was about me, I realized we couldn’t have this Mass.” The Catholic Church teaches that marriage is a permanent union between a man and a woman. And while it believes in treating gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender members with respect, and that having a homosexual orientation is not sinful, it says that having homosexual sex is a grave sin. In 2003, a letter from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith titled “Considerations Regarding Proposals to Give Legal Recognition to Unions Between Homosexual Persons” condemned gay marriage and civil unions, as well as the adoption of children by gay and lesbian couples. A 2005 instruction to seminary directors also discouraged the initiation of gay priests. Bussen said he encountered no opposition from the diocese of Salt Lake City or Monsignor Terrence Fitzgerald, its interim administrator. “He’s not doing anything unorthodox,” Fitzgerald said in a previous statement.

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Monsignor Robert Bussen of St. Mary’s Catholic Church on Park City

“We have special Masses for youths, teens, elderly and Hispanic. Our bottom line is to care for the people, and that’s what he’s doing.” Joseph Ozog, one of St. Mary’s parishoners, disagreed. In a March 5 article in the Salt Lake Tribune, Ozog said he had a tape of one of Bussen’s sermons, which he said gave the impression that “it’s OK to be a practicing homosexual.” He also objected to Bussen joining other Utah religious leaders at Winter Pride’s interfaith service last February and attending a meeting of DignityUSA, an organization of Catholics who want the Vatican to revise its teachings about homosexuality. Ozog said that he and other parishioners wrote letters to Fitzgerald, Bishopelect John Wester and the Vatican when they felt Bussen hadn’t addressed their concerns. “This is not about Father Bob. He’s a wonderful, caring man,” he said. “We just want to be sure that he’s representing the views of the church.” Along with the letters, Ozog and other parishioners also sent the text of an online journal written by an anonymous gay priest to the Vatican. They believe that Bussen is the author. In two comments left on the blog “In God’s Image on Long Island” on February 27, a poster signed “Joe Ozog” stated that the anonymous blog belonged to Bussen and that he and other parishioners were “going to Rome with everything.” “A group of us met with Fr. Bob today. He told us he did not respect our position and that he had to go skiing,” the post reads in part. “Very short meeting. The ladies in the meeting were very hurt. Much crying. They really wanted to work things out. This was my second meeting with Fr. Bob, so I was not surprised. He is

very good at spinning and playing rhetoric ... He will fight and spin. He is smart. He will make it sound like we are after him because he is gay. Love. Love. Love. We must all think in terms of Love, but never forget that souls are at risk. If we do anything in this life let it be teh [sic] saving of souls. All else perils.” Bussen did not comment about whether or not he wrote the blog (which is now closed to public viewing). “In the Catholic Church, the emphasis should not be on the personality of the priest. It asks us not to make public declarations. There should not be the gay priest and the straight priest,” he told the Tribune. “I have never told my parishioners that I am straight or gay. I simply try to be their pastor.” St. Mary’s Parish Council President Andy Cier said that the council supports Bussen, and that they discussed the special Masses extensively before Bussen began holding them. “We all gave our support on this,” he told the Park Record. We felt it was a good way to reach out to a group that sometimes doesn’t feel welcome.” Bussen said he regrets the rift the Masses have caused in his parish community, which he described as tightknit and fair-minded. Although he isn’t certain what will happen in the coming months, especially as he is scheduled for treatment for prostate cancer this month, he said that he would like to still minister to the gay and lesbian community. “I would like to see us continue an active outreach. Whether it’s in the form of a public Mass, or some other, I don’t know,” he told the Deseret News in a March 6 article. “These are among the most disenfranchised people of our churches, they are the most alienated and yet they have so much more to bring to the table. We can’t write them off.”  Q

Gov. Huntsman Signs Gay Club Restrictions into Law by Troy Espera

A day after Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr. asked advisors for a legal opinion on a controversial bill governing student organizations the governor announced he was signing the measure into law on Friday, March 9. The law gives schools the right to reject student clubs that threaten the “moral well-being” of students. Critics of the measure say the legislation could be used to block the formation of Gay-Straight Alliances, although the bill carefully avoids mentioning any specific group — an attempt to prevent a constitutional challenge. The new law also requires parental consent before a student can join a club, that school principals be given all information that would be presented to the club a week in advance so parents could review it, and that the state be required to cover the costs of lawsuits involving the restrictions of school clubs. Gay and lesbian rights groups and the American Civil Liberties Union of Utah have urged the governor to veto the bill. They say it would discourage many teenagers from joining Gay-Straight Alliances because it would force them to come out to their parents - something many are fearful of doing in the heavily Mormon state. Earlier in the week week the state Board of Education voted unanimously to call for a veto, but on Thursday some members said they were having second thoughts.

“This legislation simply codifies items already in the State Board of Education rules and makes clear that it is not targeting any one club or organization,” Huntsman said in a prepared statement. “[It] also ensures that parents will have the right to approve of any school club or organization their child participates in.” When the legislation first came before the House in January lawmakers removed some of the most restrictive regulations, leaving the bill only requiring parental approval when students join clubs. That version passed and the bill went to the Senate. In the upper chamber Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan, the bill’s Senate sponsor, reinserted original requirements from the House version. The Senate passed the revised bill and returned it to the House. The House concurred with the Senate and passed the bill. A day later House lawmakers learned that because of a procedural error they would have to vote again. That vote turned down the measure. Two days later the bill reemerged and was passed. There currently are approximately 14 GSAs in the state. The Provo Daily Herald editorialized against the signing of the law, stating “Gov. Huntsman should have vetoed House Bill 236, which masquerades as a parental rights bill but is really just another feel-good message bill from the reactionary wing of the Legislature.”

BillWatch BILL NO

SHORT TITLE

QSaltLake’s Short List of bills most important to the gay and lesbian community. SPONSOR

STATUS:

H.B. 028 Domestic Violence & Dating Violence Amend. (Rep. Litvack, D.) DIED H.B. 186 School Safety Amendments

(Rep. Moss, C.)

DIED

H.B. 205 Public Demonstrations at Funerals

(Rep. Bigelow, R.)

PASSED AND SIGNED BY THE GOVERNOR

H.B. 236 Student Clubs Amendments

(Rep. Tilton, A.)

PASSED AND SIGNED BY THE GOVERNOR

H.B. 252 Utah Suicide Prevention Act

(Rep. Harper, W.)

DIED

H.B. 343 Foster Placement and Adoption Amend.

(Rep. Fowlke, L.)

PASSED, On the Governor’s Desk

BILL NO

SPONSOR STATUS: COMM.

SHORT TITLE

SENATE HS. COMM.

S.B. 169 Sodomy Amendments

(Sen. McCoy, S.)

DIED

S.B. 248 Parent and Child Amendments

(Sen. Bramble, C.)

ABANDONED

HOUSE

PASSED

Ballot on Page 25!

Local Briefs Pride Community Softball League

For more information, go to ­leaguelineup.com/pcslutah.

Free Workshop on Masculinity University of Utah graduate student Jonathan Ravarino will present a five-hour, four session workshop titled “Exposing Masculinity and Building Allies” on Thursday, April 5. To be held in the University of Utah Union Building Saltair Room, the workshop will run from 10:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m., including a complimentary lunch. Session titles include: “Exposing and Redefining Masculinity,” “Making Meaning of Diverse Masculinities,” “Sexism and Men’s Violence Against Women,” and “Becoming an Ally to Women.” To register for the event, email Ravarino at jonathanravarino@yahoo.com.

TICKETS THROUGH KINGTIX

581-7100 KINGTIX.COM

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Open enrollments for the upcoming Pride Community Softball League season will be held at Mo’s Grill, 358 South West Temple, Mar 24 and 25 from 12:00 noon to 3:00 p.m. and at Bonwood Bowl, 2500 South Main Street Mar 31 and Apr. 1 from 4:00–7:00 p.m. There is a $25 registration fee to join the league. Businesses can sponsor a team for $275, which includes the business name on team shirts. The first games are tentatively scheduled for Sunday, April 29 at Jordan Park on 900 West.

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Local News UofU LGBT Student Recruitment Day a Bust High school students don’t show by JoSelle Vanderhooft joselle@qsaltlake.com

University of Utah student Bonnie Owens thought she’d learned her lesson after the university’s first ever LGBT Student Recruitment Conference in 2006 failed to draw more than a few students. “It was less organized at the time,” explains Owens, an intern at the university’s Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Resource Center who was privately contracted through the school to create the conference last year. Instead of planning at the last minute, she and the other resource center employees spent two months scheduling speakers, presentations and even catering for the day — a university student-created and run event to give queer high school students information on everything from registering for classes to balancing dating and school work. Even better, the center now felt confident in approaching high school guidance counselors about sending their students to the event, just as student

groups like the Pacific Islander Student Association and the Black Student Association have done for years. “When we went to the high schools that had gay-straight alliances, we got a glowing reception,” Owens said. “We were actually feeling really positive about it.” But ultimately, the only thing the careful planning helped them do was cancel the food, speakers and entertainment when no students showed up for the March 6 event. Despite several calls and even visits to local high schools, Salt Lake Community College and the Utah Pride Center, not a single student showed up. “I started to see some problems when we started doing follow-up calls to the schools without active GSAs,” Owens explained. “They seemed less excited. Just like, ‘yeah, we got your info packets.’” But for Owens, the problem became more complicated than lack of enthusiasm when one of the state’s largest school districts got involved. When she contacted Jordan High School counselor Jaime

Vargas, she said he was very initially very interested in the event. But according to her that changed when Vargas got an email from Jordan School District. It instructed him not to give out the information unless the student asked for it by name, and only then to give the packet to the student’s parent or guardian. The problem, he told her, was not just the lack of a way to identify queer students, but the conference’s panel about dating and sexual health, as well as the fact it would exclude straight students. “If they actually read the info, they would have seen that the conference was also for straight allies,” Owens said. In a March 7 article appearing in the Utah Chronicle, the campus’ newspaper, Vargas said he had been instructed not to comment on the email. For Kim Hall, LGBT Resource Center interim director, the lack of participation says much about the way Utah’s schools regard their queer students. “The bottom line, I think, is that we receive more scrutiny than other students,” she said. Because of this scrutiny, Hall said her office was particularly dilligent in informing schools about the conference’s purposes. Each packet the center sent out included a detailed list of workshops, a schedule, and leters to principles and guidance counselors explaining the day. The counselors’ letter was signed not only by Hall and her two interns, but the Vice President of Student Affairs, the Associate VP for Diversity and the Dean of Students. The packet was almost identical those

sent out by other student groups for their recruitment days, according to Tricia Sugiyama, program coordinator for the Asian American Student Association. She added that while some student associations like AASA include permission slips in the packets, others, such as the Pacific Islander Student Association typically do not. Leuciano Marzul, advisor of the Chicano student association Movimiento Estudiantil Chicana/o de Aztlan said that the LGBT day wasn’t the only conference to address controversial topics like queer issues, sexual health and even political activism. “I received a couple calls from counselors this year who were concerned about MEChA’s HIV workshop, and Brown Berets, who presented a workshop about alternatives to military service,” he said. Surprisingly, no one complained about MEChA’s workshop on LGBT issues, which MEChA ran in collaboration with the resource center and the Lesbian Gay Student Union. Although disappointed with the event’s failure, Owens said the center is still dedicated to the recruitment day, and so is university administration. “As an institution, the U has been very supportive,” she said. “They’re in the process of contacting the schools to tell them that this [day] isn’t going away, that we’ll hold it next year and they’d really like the high schools to participate.” Hall said that she also wants to draft a letter through the Office of Student Affairs stating the same thing. For her, the population the conference intends to serve is too valuable to let slip through the cracks. “With queer youth, there’s a whole psychological and cultural profile they fall into. Some are out to their families and interested in higher ed, others are not.” “Then there are the kids on the margins who don’t view higher ed as an option,” she continued. “These are the ones who need the info saying the U wants them to attend.” She said the issue gets even more complicated when dealing with groups like queer students of color, first generation queer studetns, and queer studetns who are economically disadvantaged. “We’re talking about a lot of barriers here,” she said.

After Conference Sunday Fireside & Mission Reunion Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons and Reconciliation will hold their semiannual Fireside and Mission Reunion Sunday, April 1, at the Metropolitan Community Church, 823 South 600 East. A Reunion potluck will begin at 5:00 p.m., followed at 6:15/6:30 p.m. by a fireside. The fireside will feature music and a special quest speaker. Family and friends are welcome to join us. Please bring a favorite entree, salad or desert for the potluck. Drinks provided by the chapter. Salt Lake Affirmation is the Utah chapter of Affirmation, an international non-profit fellowship serving lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersexed Latter-day Saints since 1977. The group aims to provide a safe, inclusive space for people from Mormon backgrounds who live along the Wasatch Front. They affirm that living as a gay person can be positive and is not incompatible with spirituality. They are a diverse group that embraces a variety of lifestyles and holds a variety of attitudes towards spirituality, religion, morality and politics. For more information, visit affirmation.org

Amaechi Signs Endorsement Deal Former Utah Jazz basketball star John Amaechi’s bald head will now be a symbol for head shavers everywhere. HeadBlade.Inc announced yesterday that they have signed the former centre for Cleveland, Orlando and Utah to endorse their popular head-shaving razor. The deal is thought to be a multiyear agreement, but financial terms have not been disclosed. In a statement Amaechi, 36, said: “I think it’s fantastic that HeadBlade has approached me to endorse the brand.� Despite retiring three years ago, Amaechi has now made headlines twice in 2007. He became the first openly gay NBA player when he came out through his autobiography. Man in the Middle was released in February. The book is currently on The New York Times Best Seller List. It is thought that many athletes stay in

the closet precisely because they may not be able to get endorsement deals worth millions of pounds. On explaining why they had approached Amaechi, HeadBlade chief executive Todd Greene said: “John Amaechi is the newest face of the brand because he embodies many of the qualities representative of a HeadBlader. “He is a man comfortable in his own skin and he’s not afraid to go against the grain.� Amaechi was raised in Stockport, England by his English mother, but moved to Ohio to play highschool basketball. Since his retirement Amaechi has returned to his British roots. He has worked as a broadcaster for London’s channel Five, covering NBA games once a week. In 2006 Amaechi came out of retirement to help the English national basketball team win a bronze medal at the

Utah Equality Riders Seek List of BYU Grievances

ship to BYU. Submissions per person should be limited to five. They will not be edited for content and all requests to remain anonymous will be honored. Along with presenting the list of grievances and concerns to BYU’s administration, Soulforce may also choose to release it to the media or use it in conjunction with an official complaint to the accreditation committee of the Northwest Commission of Colleges and Universities.

In conjunction with their March 2007 visit to Brigham Young University, the organizers of the Soulforce Equality Ride want to give the former and current lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender students and faculty of BYU and their friends and family another opportunity to reach out to their administration. They propose the creation of a list of concerns and grievances detailing harmful policies, unequal treatment of queer students or faculty (or those who advocate for them), classroom or counseling concerns, honor code practices, and any other pertinent information that demonstrates the difference BYU makes in its treatment of queer students versus the rest of its student body. Contributors are encouraged to write about their own feeligns and experiences as well as how their experiences and concerns have affected those closets to them, like friends and family members. Concerns should be concise but pointed and not contain profanity, threats or attacks against the LDS church, BYU, Soulforce, the Equality Ride or any individuals affiliated with them. They should also include contributors name (or a wish to remain anonymous), sexual orientation and/or gender identity and their relation-

Community Invited to Soulforce BYU Walk

Pride to Hold ‘Queer Idol’ Utah Pride 2007 will hold auditions for its first ever contest using the internationally famous TV formula at the Utah Pride Center on Saturday March 17 at 10:00 a.m. This will be the only audition. Utah Pride 2007 judges will narrow the number of entrants every two weeks at different venues throughout Salt Lake City. The three finalists will be taken to Utah Pride on Saturday, June 2 and two will be selected for Sunday June 3. The “Queer Idol� will be named Sunday night and will sing live at the Utah Pride Festival. The grand prize is $500.00 and a professional recording session. For more information contact terry@utahpridecenter.org.

Participants are also invited to a community rally at 5 PM in Kiwanis Park, located at 820 N. 1100 E. As the walk is a Soulforce action, participants will receive training prior to their participation. In accordance with Soulforce’s commitment to nonviolence, participants must conduct themselves in a peaceful manner consistent with the principles of non-violent resistence upheld by Martin Luther King, Jr. and Gandhi. The Equality Riders have also asked to participants to remember certain guidelines while walking: Respect campus property, BYU officials and students and police officers Be reverent of Soulforce’s purpose: to create a safe space for LGBT people at BYU Plan for meals and water; participants can rejoin the walk at any time Dress appropriately for weather and consider weather and wear red in solidarity Tell their own stories of coming out or facing discrimination if they converse with students. Ask an Equality Rider if they need direction or assistance.

Out former Utah Jazz player John Amaechi at a recent booksigning in Salt Lake City MICHAEL AARON

Commonwealth Games in Melbourne. No news yet on whether the company will offer a new product like called “The Gay Blade.�

Pride 2007 Seeks Assistant Director

The Utah Pride Center is currently looking for an assistant festival director to help with all aspects of planning and running the 2007 Utah Pride Celebration and Festival. The position’s duties include: • Creating and maintaining databases of vendors, participants and volunteers. • Assisting with general administrative support functions, including processing permits and application forms and communication support. • Assisting in marketing, media and advertising efforts (experience in these areas is required). • Attending various committee meetings and advising or assisting as required. • Providing assistance with on-site management during Utah Pride events. • Interacting with staff, committee members and the general community in a professional and ethical manner. The assistant director will also need to provide significant post festival help, including writing a wrap report detailing suggestions for the following year and assisting with collecting feedback from venders, participants and community members. Computer and graphics capabilities corresponding to these areas are also required. Minimum qualifications for the job include a commitment to Utah Pride’s goals, some marketing experience, an understanding of event planning, an ability to meet deadlines and multi-task and experience with common office software such as Microsoft Office and Adobe Illustrator. Familiarity with Utah’s queer youth culture, non-traditional forms of advertising and access to reliable transportation are also preferred. The Assistant Director will be expected to work a minimum of 30-35 hours a week from March 1 through June 15 with the understanding that many additional hours may be required the week of May 1 to June 3. Wages are offered at $10.00/ hour, and is an independent term contract (1099) position with no benefits. The position is also open to college students, and internship or course credit may be available. To apply contact Festival Director Terry Mitchell Nani immediately at terry@utahpridecenter.org or 801.539.8800 x12.

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Check out the new and QSaltLake MySpace page at myspace.com/ qsaltlake News stories, calendar, video of the week and special giveaways.

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Riders on the 2007 Equality Ride west bus route — 26 activists affiliated with the grassroots gay rights group Soulforce — would like local gays and straight allies to join them on their March 22 visit to Brigham Young University. As part of their tour of sixteen stop tour of colleges and universities with anti-gay policies, the Equality Ride west bus will visit the Mormon-owned school to invite the BYU community to become more proactive and better informed about the issues that queer students and faculty deal with on their campus, including shame, social isolation and fear of reprisals. From 10 AM to 4 PM, the Equality Riders and those who join them will walk around the edges of BYU’s campus. This is a public demonstration to draw attention to the issues queer students face on BYU’s campus, it is not a protest or an act of civil disobedience; there will be no possibility of being arrested.

To submit a grievance or for questions, contact lgbtconcernsatbyu@gail.com.

SFBEZ GPS IFBMUIZ DIBOHFT BOE OFX CFHJOOJOHT

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Opinion

Safety of Children

From the Editor Report Card by Michael Aaron michael@qsaltlake.com

Celebrating the Body Erotic: A Workshop for Men

Apr 21-22 6 Denver 6 303-513-7582 May 5 – 6 6 Salt Lake City 6 801-699-7044 sexy! passionate!

Gay Civil Rights

alive! healed! inspired! awakened!

www.bodyelectric.org

I know it’s been nearly two weeks since the 2007 Utah State Legislative Session came to a close and you all want to forget the carnage as quickly as possible, but since the session closed the day we went to press, we couldn’t do a wrap-up until this issue. If for no other reason than to record the results for future reference, here is my personal, and therefore QSaltLake’s, report card on the legislature’s performance this year.

6

510-653-1594

Grade: F Rep. Aaron “I’m not gay but my hairdresser and massage therapist are” Tilton and Sen. Chris Buttarsaurus were successful in their bill to put huge restrictions on school clubs. Dubbed the “Gay School Clubs” bill by all local media and thinking people in the state, the law (now signed by the governor) places 17 pages of restrictions on school clubs. The law now requires any student wanting to start a club to jump through a myriad of hoops and injects the subjective requirement that a club must “maintain the boundaries of socially appropriate behavior.” It also requires a parent’s permission to attend a club, even if a student is not out to their parents. Gay, lesbian, bisexual and questioning students in need of a safe haven in their schools will likely not find one in Utah. Rep. Spackman-Moss’ school safety bill wasn’t even addressed by the Senate, even though it passed the house 55:11. Not even a committee hearing. So, bullies can still have free reign to intimidate, harass and abuse without the state slapping their chubby little hands with a ruler. Oh, and no small matter is Rep. Fowlke’s bill that passed saying that a male-female married couple must have priority for placement of a foster child. The bill at press time has not been signed by the governor.

Suicide

Grade: F What should have been a slam-dunk on the issue of just researching the issue of suicide in the state, the Senate couldn’t get around to a third reading to pass the Utah Suicide Prevention Act sponsored by Republican Rep. Wayne Harper of West Jordan. Shame, bytheway, on the Democrats, including our two lesbian Democrats in the House, for not signing on to this important piece of legislation.

Standing Up to the President

Rep. Aaron “I’m not gay but my hairdresser and ‘massage therapist’ are” Tilton and Sen. Chris Buttarsaurus were successful in their bill to put huge restrictions on school clubs

Grade: F Of course, we start here. Absolutely no legislation passed by the legislature furthered gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender rights. It didn’t even further the non-married heterosexual’s right to oral sex, much less anal sex. Utah’s sodomy law, though overturned by the United States Supreme Court, remains on the books, even though our own Sen. Scott McCoy made two valiant efforts to repeal it. The legislature attempted to step in and thwart the rights of gay and lesbian partners in custody matters, but were beaten to the punch by the Utah Supreme Court in the Jones v. Barlow case. The court made drastic changes to in loco parentis, very similar to what a bill before the legislature would have done.

Grade: A Many kudos to Sen. Gene Davis, D-Salt Lake, and co-sponsor Sen. McCoy for passing a resolution against the Bush Administration’s Divine Strake test in Nevada. The bill passed both houses and was signed by the governor. Who knows if it was a straw on the camel that caused the administration to cancel the tests.

GODHATESFAGSFree Funerals

Grade: A Though most of those in the legislature likely had no idea that the drive behind the Westboro Baptist Church’s funeral protests is anti-gay bigotry, they voted to restrict such protests unanimously. Thank God (pun intended) Phelps and his clan-cult decided to protest those killed in action in Iraq. Otherwise, every Matthew Shepard in Utah would be protested.  Q “A gay ex-boyfriend is better than an ex‑gay boyfriend any day.”

Letters Father Bob’s Courage

Kathy’s Loss is Our Loss Editor, I would just like to express my sincere condolences to the family and friends of Kathy Worthington. Though I did not know Kathy personally, it is always a great loss to our community when a strong advocate such as she leaves it.

Queer Gnosis Don’t Ask, Don’t Kill By Troy Williams troy@qsaltlake.com

The American Empire is in decay, but some queers won’t be happy without a bomb to die for. Rep. Marty Meehan, D-Mass., has introduced new legislation to lift the ban on gays in the military. To bolster his argument, he paraded forth Staff Sgt. Eric Alva, a gay soldier who recently lost his leg to a landmine. Many gay activists are capitalizing on America’s love of self-sacrificing war heroes to finally lift the ban. They unquestionably believe this a desirable goal. Not me. In fact, I prefer the ban be made permanent. Repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is a tragic misdirection for our movement. Under the direction of an Imperial Patriarchy, our military has invaded Iraq, murdered tens of thousands of civilians, tortured prisoners, extradited innocent men to secret European prisons and is now provoking conflict with Iran. The U.S. military has been involved in destabilizing democratically elected governments in Chile, Venezuela and Haiti. They have trained Latin American death squads, which have committed horrendous acts of barbarism. I am grateful that LGBT Americans have been forbidden to openly participate in these acts of lethal destruction. Our military is in the business of expanding the new Pax Americana. Call it what you want, but with over 700 military bases in foreign countries, the U.S. has become a global empire. Our military now serves the agenda of warlords and profiteers. The arms industry, in collusion with the executive branch, allows the exploitation of earth resources by multinational corporations. Or is it the other way around? Halliburton, Lockheed Martin and the White House together embody what Eisenhower described as the Military-Industrial Complex. “Freedom is on the march” is the new cry to plunder. The Bush Administration may believe its own hypnosis, but we need to snap out of it. We live in a nascent stratocracy­ — a government ruled by military. The best our representatives can do is pass non-binding resolutions of disapproval as Bush/Cheney march more

The article in the March 1 issue [“Prominent Lesbian Activist Dies,” JoSelle Vanderhooft, March 1, 2007] gave wonderful insight on a woman who had impeccable scruples. She will be missed by many including those who did not know her well. Michelle Salt Lake City

Nice Flow Editor, I have been reading QSaltLake for many months now and it continues to get better and better. I especially found the “Spring Arts Guide” [“Spring Arts Guide,” Tony Hobday, March 1, 2007] to be very informative and it flowed nicely. I also think the new columnist Ryan Shattuck is hilarious. The “Victimization for Dummies” article is all-too-true for

troops to their death. The vox populi is silenced. Our newly elected congress is impotent. The Military-Industrial Complex is a structure that queers need to undermine­ — not join en mass. We should subvert and dismantle these institutions of domination — not perpetuate them. Queers should not be foot soldiers for imperial demagogues. We have something better to offer the world. Riane Eisler is a scholar and futurist who promotes cultural transformation theory. Her classic work The Chalice and the Blade details the characteristics of “Dominator” systems that have ruled our planet through 5000 years of patriarchy, class disparity and warfare. In contrast,

If Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is lifted, will the U.S. military be magically transformed by our presence, or will it transform us into something lethal? Eisler also explores ancient civilizations that were organized on models of co-operation, non-violence and egalitarianism. She argues that true social transformation will not come from the blade of empire, but rather the chalice of partnership. Eisler believes we must take an active part in the evolution of our culture. Will we perpetuate a world of competition and empire, or will we build a society of justice and equity? As our planet struggles under the burden of perpetual war, we must be critical of the role we play in shaping our future. Patriarchy may hold great appeal for queers who have been disenfranchised from phallic power. The desire to embody dominator ideals is an ever-present temptation. But our fringe history should make us extremely cautious of embracing institutions that humiliate others. The military teaches soldiers to kill by dehumanizing enemies into “sand-niggers” and “gooks”. Certainly “queers” know something about the violence of reductive slurs. Assimilation is a perilous endeavor.

so many in the gay community including myself. He is a great read. Keep up the good work! BJ Salt Lake City

QSaltLake welcomes letters from our readers. Please email your letter of 300 words or less to letters@qsaltlake.com. We reserve the right, if a letter is published, to edit for length, libel and appropriateness. Q

The danger is that we will model the behavior of the dominator. Mormons serve as a classic cautionary tale. They were violently persecuted for their beliefs and non-traditional marriages. When they successfully assimilated into American culture, they immediately joined in campaigns of oppression against other minorities. To humiliate blacks, the Church denounced the civil rights movement. To teach women their place, they mobilized members in opposition to the Equal Rights Amendment. To ostracize queers, they endorsed a Federal Marriage Amendment. This is how Mormons proved their patriotism to a skeptical nation. We need to vigilantly consider the consequences of such assimilation. Will we follow the Mormon path and become dominators ourselves? If Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is lifted, will the U.S. military be magically transformed by our presence, or will it transform us into something lethal? Dominator culture is tribal and territorial. It views the earth’s resources as man’s to possess and destroy for profit. We have devastated the earth with our missiles, bombs and Humvees long enough. We need eco-queers, peace dykes and freedom fags to rise up and lead the human evolution of the planet. The teachings of Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Riane Eisler and others offer us the theoretical prototype for a sustainable earth culture. Feminists, deep-ecologists and queer theorists have provided new visions for social revolution. They have uploaded our minds with a radical globalconsciousness — a whole-systems reboot for Planet Earth. Non-violence, genderequality and social justice require a new relationship to the planet and to each other. We must build holistic networks of cooperation and partnership — first in our intimate relationships and then within our larger communities. It’s a total paradigm implosion, a fractal rebirth into an integrated planetary world-view. We are Cultural and Spiritual Creatives. We manifest the generative power of the Whole. The new queer collective will dedicate our movement to the universal liberty of humankind and inspire loving relationships with the living systems of the earth. War is old thinking. Imperialism is yesterday. Green is all the rage and Peace is back in vogue. Webs of social justice weave endless possibilities. We are all connected. To my queer friends who covet the boots and guns of Empire, I have one admonition: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and please, Don’t Kill. Q

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Editor, Courageous! A Catholic priest has had the temerity to create a special service that administers specifically to the needs of an outcast minority — its gay, lesbian and transgender members. How easy it is to forget, that those who are attracted to their own sex are still being characterized as “inherently disordered,” or as suffering “from a ‘condition’” or “inclinations” which they should endure patiently throughout life – as one might an unwanted congenital defect, alcoholism, or a ravaging illness. They are compared to pedophiles (when the majority of pedophiles are heterosexual); characterized as being promiscuous (though heterosexuals are notoriously promiscuous); and their loving relationships (though they are denied the stabilizing influence of legalized marriage) are portrayed as evidence of the demise of the family and the breakdown of society. Never mind that scientists have found a startling array of evidence from nature itself of the broad range of sexual diversity among all species of animals, including intersex that indicates God created more than just Adam and Eve. In 1973 the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from its list of mental disorders, and in 1975, the American Psychological Association publicly supported this move, stating that “homosexuality per se implies no impairment in judgment, reliability or general social and vocational capabilities.” Since that time every major medical association within the United States and all First World Counties, have made similar declarations. How easy it is for the heterosexual majority to set the rules for those who are different to them! So too, where it is still men who in so many instances continue to set the limits of what women can or can’t do. This is readily apparent nowadays when most homosexuals, seeing no incongruence between spirituality and sexuality, reject the reparative therapy derived term, “same-sex attracted,” and refer to themselves as “gay” or “lesbian” — for them, as equally valid a state-ofbeing as that pointed to by the word, “heterosexual.” The morality of their sexuality, then, turns as much on the issue of love and fidelity as does the sexual behavior of “straight” Christians and people of other faith traditions. Gays and Lesbians of faith ask no more than does every heterosexual, and that is that they be allowed the opportunity to date, court and romance those to whom they are attracted, with the hope that they may eventually spend a lifetime together with that one special person whom they love. The “love,” “kindness” and “friendship” that some denominations demand from their homosexual members comes with a price that few of their heterosexual members are willing to pay—celibacy. And yet it is expected of all gays and lesbians! How self-serving it is that predominantly male, (and in some denominations) married, heterosexual hierarchies are the ones who dictate that gays and lesbians should practice lives of celibacy. Until such time as people of all faiths recognize that sexual-orientation is as morally neutral as is left-handedness, or

other than white skin color (something most churches once demonized), and until gays and lesbians are welcomed into all aspects of worship and service — there will continue to be a need for special masses or services such as that created by Monsignor Bob Bussen. Bravo for his faith and courage in truth! Brian Benington, Duane Jennings and David Nielsen Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons, Salt Lake Chapter Leadership

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Technical Difficulties by Laurie Mecham laurie@qsaltlake.com

My place of employment utilizes an email and calendaring program that is made by a company whose initial is N. The initials of this email and calendaring program are GW, which, coincidentally, are the first two initials of an incredibly disappointing and inept world leader. Unlike the political leader, the software application has some good points. For example, if you begin to type a person’s name, the software will fill in their email address automatically. This enables you to contact anyone in the organization without having to learn their specific email address. Of course, just as one person’s inspired leader is another person’s narcissistic, addiction-ravaged, doublespeaking, pea-brained, stubborn, corrupt, little-man-complexed, lame-duck president; one person’s software application good point is another person’s tech nightmare. Like, if you were the kind of person who had the poor sense to send an email that some people would consider inappropriate in the workplace, and you started to send it to your friend Bob, my gay boyfriend in the IT group, but instead of Bob My Gay Boyfriend it goes to Bob the Major Boss of Workplace Respect and Corporate Integrity, that could be a problem. And just as some people have a helluva time trying to make sense of the “thought” processes of a certain commander-in-chief, some also have great difficulty mastering the tricks of our software program. For example, one of the program’s features allows the user to send a “meeting request.” The recipient can either accept the appointment, which makes it appear on that person’s calendar, or they can decline the appointment. This two-step process is a bit cumbersome for some folks, however. A sample exchange follows.

>>> C$&#! 2/8/2007 2:04 PM >>> To: Laurie Mecham That won’t work. Can we make it the same time on the 15th? >>> Laurie Mecham 2/8/2007 2:07 PM >>> To: C$&#! Of course. Done. >>> C$&#! 2/8/2007 2:36 PM >>> To: Laurie Mecham I don’t need the meeting request you sent, because now they are meeting on 2-15? Do I just decline this one? >>> Laurie Mecham 2/8/2007 2:37 PM >>> To: C$&#! Yep. >>> Laurie Mecham 2/8/2007 2:40 PM >>> To: My Gay Boyfriend how long has C$&#! worked here?

Of course, just as one person’s inspired leader is another person’s narcissistic, addictionravaged, doublespeaking, pea-brained, stubborn, corrupt, little-man-complexed, lame-duck president...

>>> Laurie Mecham 2/8/2007 2:01 PM >>> To: C$&#! Meeting request 2 pm, 3/14

>>> My Gay Boyfriend 2/8/2007 2:45 PM >>> To: Laurie Mecham since dinosaurs roamed the earth >>> Laurie Mecham 2/8/2007 2:47 PM >>> To: My Gay Boyfriend “If you send me an appointment and it isn’t for me, and the person I support can’t make the meeting so you arrange a different time, WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD do I do with the appointment you sent in the first place?” …do you see the complexity here? >>> My Gay Boyfriend 2/8/2007 2:49 PM >>>

To: Laurie Mecham Whoa — hold on, you lost me. I had no idea it could get this complicated. Personally, I decline all appointments because no one has ever showed me how to accept them. >>> Laurie Mecham 2/8/2007 2:50 PM >>> To: My Gay Boyfriend I think it’s just like accepting Jesus. You just have to say, “I accept this appointment in my heart.” I’m thinking I should write a little tutorial for all of the new hires, as well as those who have been here since dinosaurs wrote the first software. This particular program sometimes makes me want to tear my hair out, but some days, it’s all worthwhile. Today after I queried some folks about a meeting time I got this response:

>>> Will you handle this, or do I need to manually put it in? Snicker. OK, so everything sounds dirty to me. Tee-hee. I’ve gotta send this to Bob.  Q

Mountain Meadows Mascara Geekzilla! by Ruby Ridge ruby@qsaltlake.com

I’m afraid it’s official, peaches: I am technologically impaired. I came to this sad realization this weekend while repainting my home office. After removing my desk I found three different adapters plugged into power strips, and I have absolutely no idea where or what they go to. The spaghetti bowl of wire and cables was like an electronic archive of dead and obsolete technology. It’s like that kitchen drawer that everyone has with years worth of orphaned keys. If you are like me, you know you should toss them out, but part of you is just absolutely convinced that one day they will find their mate and become complete and useful (sort of like Paris Hilton). During my remodel, I found two old cell phones, two answering machines (I never could use the remote function on one, or the multiple mail boxes on the other one), a desktop computer (I rarely used) and a ton of disks and manual for — I kid you not — my Apple Classic! I found a box of printer cartridges for

Lambda Lore Kathy Worthington by Ben Williams ben@qsaltlake.com

Consumer Electronics Show with FUR! These husky little man-muffins were overflowing with laptops, I-pods and blue tooth headset phones, and every conceivable type of handheld phone, PDA, keyboard, video player and electronic penis extenders ever made. Half of them work in I.T. and I think the other half work in forestry or harvesting pine nuts or something. Either way, these girls are whizzes when it comes to gadget problem solving. With only one exception ‌ the paranormal mystery that is my Netscape e-mail. No one knows why, but if I reply to an e-mail my response automatically goes to the bottom of the page and not the top! I don’t know what the hell causes it, but you can be damn sure it’s not role modeling! Anyway, darlings, the Bears are having their annual Mr. Bear & Cub gig at the end of the month at Try-Angles (which moi hosted last year). It’s a lot of fun, so I highly recommend you attend. And remember what they taught you in Boy Scouts: bears get hungry so leave your food locked securely in your car. Ciao, cherubs!  Q

grief as when I heard that larger-thanlife AIDS Crisis advocate David Sharpton had died. That is how Kathy lived — larger than life. When people who have sustained that much vigor and vitality are gone, it makes my own world feel smaller and diminished. Funny, as much as that small cohort of activists fought, fumed and fussed, (especially David Sharpton), Kathy was always above the fray. She had what appeared to me the stoic virtue of a Roman matron; she, like Caesar’s wife, was beyond reproach. When she spoke at Community Council, we listened. Her words were always sound, true and pragmatic. At the time I hated that, actually, because I was all emotion and ethereal fire and I wanted to lead the gay revolution by storming the Bastille of Homophobia. Kathy, however, was calming and reasonable in her approach to the struggle for our human rights. While Kathy and I were not close friends, we were always friendly. I sent an appreciation card to Sara shortly before her death, and on the day Kathy died, I had e-mailed her a quick note to say I was thinking of her and Sara on the anniversary of Sara’s passing. I will never know if she read it. The kinship I felt with Kathy was one of comrade-in-arms; I felt safe knowing that she had my back. She had all of our backs. Possibly because Kathy and I are baby boomers, travelers on the same time line, I feel especially connected with her. Only six months older than I, we experienced the turmoil of the Civil Rights Movement as teenagers, and the disastrous, bloody Vietnam War that lasted until our early twenties. Events like the assassinations of John Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Bobby Kennedy, the Kent State Massacre where the National Guard fired on college students, and the constitutional crisis of Watergate influenced our social consciousness and our sense of social justice. For us, they were not just

events out of history books. Although we both were once heterosexually married because of society’s pressures to conform, we still had our young adult lives affected by the Equal Rights Amendment’s struggle for women’s rights and the Anita Bryant national backlash to Gay Liberation. We knew who Harvey Milk was and what he stood for. We saw gay-related immune deficiency become AIDS and, because of government neglect, wipe out nearly a million gay men within a decade: our generation. Kathy and I were late bloomers in our gay activism, I in 1986 when I was 35 years old and Kathy in 1989 when she was 39 years old. But when we came out, we were out — we were formidable, working ferociously to make up for lost time and to construct a safer and more hospitable Utah for gay people. We both had the honor of being recipients of the Dr. Kristen Ries Community Service Award for our efforts. We both ran support groups. We both started papers in Salt Lake City, Kathy for the women’s community and I for the men’s. We both wrote newspaper columns (although she never pissed off as many people). We both did not hesitate to send letters to the editor, nor did we turn down a newspaper interview. My favorite memory of Kathy Worthington will always be her rallying her circle of lesbian friends to clean, paint and decorate the old Utah Stonewall Center at 3rd West 770 South with rainbow curtains. She did not do it for praise. She did not do it for money. She did it because she loved gay people. She did it because it needed to be done. She did it because she was Kathy Worthington. While I am incredibly sad that Kathy is gone, I can’t but be grateful that, for as weary as she was, she now can rest forever in Sara’s arms. How blessed must be the sleep of those who have fought on the side of angels. Sleep well, Kathy.  Q

Ruby Ridge is one of the more opinionated members of the Utah Cyber Sluts, a camp drag group of performers who raise funds and support local charities. Her opinions are her own and fluctuate wildly. She feels uniquely qualified to referee the Sean ­Hannity and Rocky Anderson death match. Divas, to your corners!

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M A R C H 16 , 2 0 0 7 ď Ž   I S S U E 74 ď Ž   Q S A LT L A K E ď Ž   15

There are events in our lives that make us stop and reflect on our sense of reality and, perhaps, our delusions. Kathy Worthington’s recent death has had that affect on me. When Michael Aaron called me at home with the news, he was at the Utah AIDS Foundation’s Oscar banquet. The report that she was no longer with us was monumental to him. I think, somehow, he knew that the heartrending news had to be passed along to someone, as if sense could be made out of it by saying the dreaded words. It was, however, insensible that the towering strength that was Kathy was gone. There was a time in Salt Lake City when almost everyone who was doing anything in the gay community knew each other. We used to be that small. Oh sure, there were thousands who lived quiet lives, partied on the weekends and thrived in the protective cocoons of their familiar cliques. However, little more than two hundred people were out of the closet and wanted to make a social difference in the late 1980s and early 1990s. These extraordinary queers were willing to serve in leadership positions, raise money, make their voices heard and make a difference in the bastion of rabid ultra-conservatism we like to call home. “We Are Family� was not just a Pointer Sisters song, but a watchword for us; we called each other family because we were and are. Therefore, when someone of Kathy Worthington’s stature leaves us, it’s not simply a sad event, but a devastating loss. When I first heard the horrific news, I felt much the same disbelief and

an old fax machine (those really messy cardboard tubes with the black powder in them ‌ eewwwww!) I also found a huge digital camera (Christmas gift 2003) that I never learned how to use, that was replaced with a petit little Sony Cyber-Shot digital camera (Christmas 2005), which has software that I barely loaded onto my laptop a few weeks ago. That was a huge step for me, but God knows I still have no idea how to use the camera, or worse, how to crop, print, zoom or take out the evil red vampire eyes on the pictures of my dogs. Which is quite disturbing, darlings, because Daisy and Fi-Fi really do look possessed! According to the manual, my camera can do just about everything but toast bread, but there are so many icons to memorize and so many ultra-geeky features that I just kind of point and click and hope for the best. I’m not alone in my woeful Luddite ineptitude. Every year the Sluts go to fund raiser benefits and people drag out their digital cameras while we stand in uncomfortable poses for eternity waiting for the damn flash to go off. Bloated and cranky, Ruby? Oh, a tad. But there is a simple solution if you have a technology related question, pumpkins ‌ just ask one of the Bears. Oh my God, muffins, these guys are just uber-techies. Either that or they have some serious electronic toy fetishes. I went to one of their weekly coffee gatherings recently and it looked like the

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Ruth Hackford-Peer PassiveAggressive … Me? by Ruth Hackford-Peer ruth@qsaltlake.com

I began last week not knowing what passive-aggressive personality meant, and ended the week certain I had a diagnosis. It all began when a co-worker and friend pointed out to me that I was starting to exhibit passive-aggressive behaviors at work. This was not news to her; apparently, she had seen me behave this way with my partner and did not want this side of me spilling over into the office. Not sure how I could have lived my first 33 years without knowing what this buzz word meant, I did what all seekers of truth do: I Googled it. Could she possibly think that I seem to passively comply with the desire of others while actually passively resisting them, and getting

angry and aggressive in the process? I was annoyed. See, this little tidbit of information was not solicited in any way. I was venting, expecting a listener, but in no way anticipating a diagnosis. She kindly (or was it passive-aggressively?) offered her comment as fodder for my self-actualization. The last time I got advice on self-actualization I was with another friend. He had disclosed that he recently sought counseling and found it helpful to him and to his relationship. I thought I was being a good friend by listening and giving the occasional “uh huh.” But then he turned to me. “So, you’ll do it?” he questioned. “Do what?” I had clearly not been reading between the lines. “Go see a counselor” he replied, exasperated. He informed me that his path to selfactualization was so fulfilling he wanted to share the wealth. I countered that he had a vested interest in self-actualization because it was written in his job description. People expect rabbis to be self-actualized, or at least striving to reach the peak of human achievement, whereas over-educated, “what am I going to be

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when I grow up?” creative geniuses such as myself actually need a little psychosis in order to tap into our muse. Creatively speaking, self-actualization is boring. Yet, call me competitive, but in reality I want to be as evolved as the next person. Besides the initial shock that my co-worker would divulge her innermost feelings about my personality (disorder), I was actually shocked that she saw me in such light. My response, “Who, me?” held little weight. This is probably because I had just told her about the previous night when my baby, Casey, woke up crying at an ungodly hour. At first I pretended to be asleep, as did my partner, but as the crying got worse, I feared he would wake up my older son and that was a circus I did not need. So, I tried the martyr approach with my partner and documented the long list of tasks I had accomplished the previous day, from working a full day at the office, to making dinner and doing dishes. I added the bath, books, bed routine for the boys, making sure she knew I had done this all by myself while she had the privilege of being in a night class. Her response, “It isn’t like they were an accident, you know. You got pregnant on purpose!” was really uncalled for. But it was followed by her getting up and retrieving the crying infant. I dozed off before she came back to bed. I know I am justifying myself here, but I would not be passive-aggressive, if I did not get the desired result. It must work for me. I was sound asleep while my partner was wide awake. Add in the extenuating circumstances of my non-religious upbringing versus my partner being raised on good ol’ Catholic guilt, and I am just about assured a good night’s rest every night. Still, I could not shrug off the possibility that I was passive-aggressive. I grew up with a stay-at-home mom who most certainly was not valued to the extent she should have been. But she was also

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the master of mixed messages. “I want to do your laundry” was often followed up with, “Am I the only one who does anything around here?” She did not know how to say “no,” but could certainly complain afterward about being stuck doing whatever she could not pass up. Young women are socialized to take on the roles of victim, martyr and game player. Does this make women more prone to passive- aggressive behavior? If so, then lesbian couplings must be worse ­— I mean, two women under one roof. Imagine the possibilities. I am ashamed to admit that, “If you don’t know what you did wrong, then I’m not going to tell you” might have actually come out of my mouth at one time. I might even have thought I was communicating effectively. In any case, I thought I had worked through and somehow un-learned all of these patterns and behaviors. As much as I enjoy a good night’s rest, I don’t want it to be at the expense of authenticity and equity in my relationship. As tempted as I was to brush this selfactualizing thing under the carpet until Casey was a little older (and sleeping through the night), I decided I needed to broach the subject with my partner. I asked a simple question, “Am I passive aggressive?” And this is what she decided. The fact that I agonized over this for days may indicate that I am obsessivecompulsive. The fact that I asked everyone I know whether or not I am passive aggressive points to the possibility of being codependent or at least really narcissistic. The fact that I misrepresented what I really said when my son awoke in the night (in order to make myself seem more appealing) leans to a possible diagnosis as a compulsive liar. Now whether or not I am passive­ aggressive is the least of my worries. Q

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Load of Bullshattuck The Nota-Vagina Monologue by Ryan Shattuck ryan@qsaltlake.com

Gynecology or speleology? Asking the difference between the two is likely to offend some people. Although to be honest, both ologies are in fact so similar, they require a flashlight. I watched my cousin Lisa perform in a theatrical, artistic, tasteful presentation of The Vagina Monologues at Utah Valley State College a few weeks ago. And then to celebrate afterwards, we went to Hooters! Sure, Hooters may be an incredibly obnoxious and politically-incorrect restaurant that exists simply to degrade straight women and entertain straight men, but I have to be honest — their chicken wings are to die for. Ok, I’ll admit I didn’t actually have dinner at Hooters. But that’s only because I’m still keeping my fingers crossed that Hooters will be endorsed by NOW. I use adjectives such as “theatrical,” “artistic,” and “tasteful” when describing The Vagina Monologues, because I don’t know what adjectives I’m actually allowed to use. While I, a gay man, consider myself somewhat of a semi-feminist, I’m not schooled in the theories or philosophies of the feminist argument. For that reason, I always have this subconscious fear that I’m going to offend some feminist-in-charge because I still use the word ‘women’ and not ‘womyn.’ Then again, I occasionally consider myself a

traditionalist, which would explain my recent feud with Junior Vasquez. There are some things that should just be left alone and not changed or remixed. Like the word ‘women.’ And songs by Ace of Base. For those who have never seen The Vagina Monologues, you’re missing out on a play that tackles the radical idea that women have the same rights as men, should not be abused or raped and, heaven forbid, even respected. These are all issues I agree with, even if it does address these issues through vagina metaphors and vagina symbolism and vagina imagery and vagina stories and vagina jokes and vagina vaginas and many other vagina variations that I didn’t realize could possibly make me feel uncomfortable. I didn’t realize there were so many ways to make me feel awkward; although to be fair, I was sitting next to my aunt. I shouldn’t say, however, that I was surprised some of the monologues in The Vagina Monologues made me feel uncomfortable; I actually get embarrassed quite easily. I felt just as uncomfortable when Mean Joe Greene traded me his jersey for my Coke. What was I, a 10-year-old kid, doing in a locker room with a grown man in the first place? Despite my feeling overtly uncomfortable with the female anatomy, I’ve always been incredibly sympathetic to the feminine cause. I don’t necessarily know if it’s because of my liberalism, my gayism,

or my believing-women-are-just-as-equalas-men-ism, but nevertheless, I’ve always felt a subconscious connection with the feminine cause and women’s rights. It’s curious — and disappointing — however, that in this day, with as many people who feel the same as I do, that the role of women in society is still debated. More than three decades have passed since the Equal Rights Amendment, and yet the United States still debates abortion, the glass ceiling, women in the military and whether the country is ready for a woman president. One of the more asinine arguments against a woman president is that she would allow her hormones to dictate her decisions. This would explain why Sri Lanka, India, Israel, Argentina, Great Britain, Portugal, Bolivia, Dominica, Iceland, Norway, Yugoslavia, Malta, the Netherlands, the Philippines, Pakistan, Nicaragua, Ireland, Haiti, Burma, Bangladesh, France, Poland, Canada, Burundi, Rwanda, Turkey, Bulgaria, Guyana, Switzerland, Bermuda, Mongolia, New Zealand, Panama, Latvia and Finland broke out into civil war every time their president or prime minister went through menopause. While I don’t necessarily know whether I would vote for the sycophant that is Hillary Rodham/Clinton/Whomever-You-Want-Me-To-Be, I’d like to at least entertain the idea. I don’t make political decisions simply because they

I use adjectives such as “theatrical, ” “artistic, ” and “tasteful” when describing The Vagina Monologues, because I don’t know what adjectives I’m actually allowed to use.

are historical or faddish, but I do believe that a woman president would set an amazing precedent for women worldwide. One of my favorite monologues in The Vagina Monologues was one performed by my cousin Lisa (What? I don’t even know what the word bias means) about rape. Her monologue in particular made the issue that much more real. If The Vagina Monologues can at least wake people up to the fact that a large percentage of the female population is raped or abused, perhaps a female president can take action one step further by turning awareness into action. Although to be honest, it sometimes feels that the reality of a woman winning the presidency is as likely as Thomas Pynchon doing the talk show circuit. I respect women. I collect the yogurt lids for breast cancer. I generally try to avoid making sexist jokes. I have a list of my favorite divas. I believe women have the right to choose. I feel women should be equal to men. I do, however, believe there are some things women should not do. Some people say, “run for president.” I say, “work at Hooters.” Ryan Shattuck is a freelance writer, University of Utah student and ex-boyfriend of Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

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In Search Of... AT OVER CAN BE FOUONNDS FROM LOCATI 'EORGE ,OGAN TO 3T LL INCLUDING A

A St. Patrick’s Day Party by Chad Keller and Mark Thrash insearchof@qsaltlake.com

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Did you read our Oscar predictions? With the outcome of our joint accuracy, no one will be able to say, “I told you so.� Although neither of us was completely correct, we now have proof that collectively we’re always right, and don’t you forget it. If you do, the evidence will forever be in print. CHAD: Mark predicted that one of three songs nominated from Dreamgirls would win. However, I had it right with Melissa Etheridge, reaffirming that “Oscar� was a drag king. Somehow I lost out with Best Animated Feature. I really thought the drag queen-possessed house would win. MARK: As for Melissa winning, she fucked Ellen. There is no other explanation. Those power lesbians have much more influence than we realize. Redemption for me came with Forest Whitaker’s win as Best Actor and the announcement of The

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Departed as Best Picture. As I said, anything that causes me to enjoy Leonardo DiCaprio’s acting had to be a great film. With the passing of February, which included Singles Awareness Day and the Oscars, we’re well into March and that gives us another pot of “tricks� to celebrate. MARK: Despite Utah Mother Nature’s menopausal temperatures, we’re still moving well into Spring and all things green. Historically, St. Patrick’s Day has been a religious holiday commemorating the saint who introduced Christianity to Ireland in the fifth century. As with many other things holy, it has evolved into something much less sacred and much more commercialized. CHAD: Is it just me, or do all saints get a commercialized holiday? Let’s just call me St. Chad and start celebrating May 19. We’ll have greeting cards, colorful garlands, party hats and pink beer. Oh, and there must be a big parade. It has to be at nighttime with strings of lights on every float, and I’ll arrive like St. Nick at the end of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Mark, will you be the Grand Marshal? MARK: Although we know you’re as big as a float, that isn’t an excuse for a parade, and this isn’t a discussion about you. Back to St. Patrick’s Day and it’s reli-

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CHAD: As for me being as big as a float, I prefer to think of myself as a balloon. Let’s put the kibosh on this history lesson. I can’t picture any pub being closed on March 17. If the Utah Department of Beverage and Alcohol Control gets wind of this historical fact, they’ll use it as another way to close their doors. MARK: Shut your cake-hole. A balloon? You being guided by strings at the mercy of a well-trained team of handlers? I beg to differ. It is obvious that you’re not working with a full shilling.

CHAD: Bitch, I thought we were talking about St. Patrick’s Day? After hours of “queer-eye-ing,� (yes, we do research before writing our column) we only found one party. This year, Utah’s festivities celebrating the feast of St. Patrick return to the heart of downtown commercialism, The Gateway. The theme: Ireland, Land of Myth and Magic. Parade coordinators suggest the theme should be the primary consideration in planning parade entries. Categories include: band, parish, commercial, Irish dance schools, drill dance, Irish family, novelty and miscellaneous. MARK: I wonder where gay-themed entries rank, novelty or miscellaneous? The parade assembles at 400 West and 200 North. At 10 AM, entries will “march with great precision smartly south� on 400 West through the middle of the mall. Everyone is invited to attend the SIAMSA held afterwards at the Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church. Note of caution to all gay attendees: to the Irish, “fag� means cigarette. So, when you hear an Irish man ask for a fag, don’t drop to your knees and take it as an invitation.

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gious origins. Up until the 1970s, Irish laws mandated that pubs be closed on March 17. Beginning in 1995, the Irish government began a national campaign to use the holiday as an opportunity to drive tourism and showcase Ireland to the rest of the world. Today, North America is home to the largest productions.

CHAD: Further caution, I know men in kilts with ease of access will be tempting. Just remember, you might get more than you’re looking for under that skirt. These are not bearded drag queens. So, don’t be fostering, start drinking your cheap green-colored draft early. I imagine by 2 pm, everyone should be bloody bolloxed. MARK: Even though the official Utah St. Patrick’s Day party might be a blast for some, I’m taking my lucky charms to Denver. Can’t wait to see what shenanigans I find at the end of the Mile High rainbow. TOP o’ the mornin’ will be sure to have a whole new meaning when I return.

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CHAD: Denver on St. Patrick’s Day? I smell a performance. Will you be taking an oversized, sequined, green top hat? I’m imagining a chocolate- covered Jolly Green Giant. While you’re out to stud, I’m already out to pasture. You’ll be making a holy show of yourself gallivanting around Denver ’til the wee hours o’ the mornin, and I’ll be stuck in the Holy City. All I can say is bless your shamrocks. Instead, I’ll drink a Rolling Rock in your honor at Port O’ Call. Straight boys in kilts and lots o’ beer ‌ a winning combination. Now we include some of our favorite Irish slang to help you assimilate into the whole green event: acting the maggot — playing around; arseways — complete mess; black — crowded; bouzzie — young, good-for-nothing person; craic — fun time; donkey’s years — a long time; hump off — go away, leave me alone; off your nut — mad, crazy; ride — an attractive person, to have intercourse; and scrubber — female of low morals.  Q

Gay Geeks Deep Space Love by JoSelle Vanderhooft joselle@qsaltlake.com

I was all set to beam out of Star Trek this issue, but you know what they say about the best laid plans of geeks and nerds: the internet sometimes changes them. Recently, a nice local reader sent me a link to a fan-produced Star Trek show called Hidden Frontier. It’s exactly what it sounds like: a show acted, written, directed and produced by fans, for fans set in the Star Trek universe but mostly featuring non-canon characters — characters the fans involved made up. Since the internet became the most affordable of geek toys, you can find fan-produced art, comics, fiction and even shows for just about every fandom. But what’s special about Hidden Frontier isn’t just its awesome CGI, its solid acting or its true-to-the-spirit-of-Trek scripts. It’s also the first fan series to feature a gay love triangle between three men, Lt. Cmdr. Corey Aster, Lt. Jorian Zen and Ensign Ro Nevin. I emailed series producer Rob Caves to talk about this groundbreaking show. JoSelle Vanderhooft: You’ve said that Hidden Frontier coincided with your own coming out during your final semesters as a film student?

Rob Caves: It’s not really a secret that I patterned some of Ro’s character after some of my own experiences with uncer-

tainty with what it means to be gay, and how I felt about the topic myself. It seems to be an issue that resonates with a lot of gay folks, and also people questioning one thing or another about their lives, morality, or their character. It’s been exciting for me to watch Ro develop as a three-dimensional person and come to a satisfying resolution of his inner conflict. I hope our ending of his character arc is well received by his fans. JV: Currently, there are 17 episodes where the Nevin/Aster/Zen love triangle is featured. Did you always envision it to be such an integral part of Hidden Frontier?

to keep everyone happy. JV: Although most members of the Federation in Hidden Frontier seem to think same-sex relationships aren’t taboo, this doesn’t hold true for some alien races. How did you decide which canon race would be gay-positive and which wouldn’t be? RC: Ironically, acceptance of homosexuality isn’t really a major theme we’ve touched on. It’s just assumed in most cases that most races are accepting, and I think that’s in keeping with [Trek creator] Gene Roddenberry’s positive view of the future. We’ve hinted a few times that Ro’s hangup is with his Bajoran religious roots. But even that is not played out very much, and the focus is on his own inner-acceptance of it and what it means for him and his future family life.

“That means, to show male/male homosexuality you have to go to mediums where demographics and money don’t dictate what gets shown or printed.”

RC: Initially there was just gonna be the one gay episode, “Encke”, and it’s neatly resolved in that episode by having Ro’s potential love interest leave the ship at the end of the episode, and leave Ro certain in his uncertainty. But after that episode was so well received and J.T. [Tepnapa], the actor who plays Aster, was interested in doing more, a follow-up was written for the next season. I had no idea it would become such a popular and, in some cases, defining part of the show. There has been some backlash to that, and we’ve actually had to point out in a few cases that there are straight couples on the show, and make a point to showcase them more in season six and seven

JV: You mentioned that fan response to the gay characters was mixed. But has Trek owner Paramount Pictures given you any trouble?

RC: Paramount has been gracious enough to turn a blind eye so far to the fanfilms. It has been communicated to us and other fanfilms through channels not to sell our episodes, but nothing has ever been communicated in any way about the gay characters.

JV: Fan work for many series seems to feature queer characters frequently. What do you think is the attraction of gay filmmakers, writers and artists to fan works? RG: A studio has to think about demographics. To include gay characters at this stage in mainstream gay acceptance would damage the largely straight audience of Star Trek. We’ve only seen what could be considered brief “lesbian” moments in Star Trek and the demographics of the show make this completely understandable. That means, to show male/male homosexuality you have to go to mediums where demographics and money don’t dictate what gets shown or printed. That leaves fanfiction, novels, the internet and, of course, fanfilms. If anything, it is a testament to the power of the internet and technology that we can now make and distribute content that appeals to both straight and gay folks at a fraction of what it costs the studios to make. It completely removes the demographic shackles and allows stories and ideas to be told only limited by imagination and technology, not dollars or ratings. One of the reasons I wanted to do a gay character was specifically because Trek had not done one. Yes, they did a couple of “lesbian” kisses, but considering their target audience, that isn’t pushing any boundaries. And Trek is at it’s best when it’s pushing boundaries. Hidden Frontier episodes can be found at hiddenfrontier.com. A list of episodes featuring the love triangle can be found on the site’s official reference guide at en.hiddenfrontier. com/index.php/Gay_storyline. The series finale will go live on May 19. Q

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Meth

is an ugly drug. Sure, it may seem like a real party, but Tina’s had a devastating impact on gay communities. In an effort to curb it’s catastrophic affects, producer Colin Weil and director Jay Corcoran teamed up to bring us “Rock Bottom.” The film was presented at the National Conference on Methamphetamine, HIV and Hepatitis held in Salt Lake City last month. Following six meth-users over three years, the documentary explores not only meth’s damage, but the state of the gay union, in general. “Rock Bottom” sheds some light on post-AIDS fear, a generation’s crossroads and the difficult task of establishing healthy relationships. We talk to Weil about his experiences and how they influenced his decision to produce the movie, when a gay man needs to learn to grow up and why it’s so fucking hard to find a steady date after the jump. Then we talk to director Jay Corcoran about the anger that motivated him to create the film.

Interview with Producer Colin Weil QSaltLake: What made you want to get involved in this project? Colin Weil: I’ve been public about the fact that I had a meth problem starting – the really early stages were in 2001 after 9/11, but it was really 2002, 2003. 2003 I had a very significant struggle with the drug. I was very fortunate that with the love and friends and family and good therapists and the program at [Gay Men’s Health Crisis], I got myself out of it. And I escaped virtually unharmed – I didn’t get HIV, I didn’t lose my house. About six months after I stopped, Peter Staley launched his anti-meth campaign. It was the first time I started thinking about what my experience represented in terms of the community. With Peter’s campaign and the statistics that were starting to come out, I started to feel like there was an important story happening in the community. I was working with Joe Lovett – who produced the film Gay Sex in the 70s and who has been producing AIDS films for twenty years. He put AIDS on 20/20 back in the 80s. I went to him and I said, “I think there’s something happening here.” Coincidentally, Jay Corcoran had approached Joe a week earlier because of what happened with Raymond, who is in

the film and is a very good friend of Jay’s. And Raymond had disappeared and when he resurfaced and when Jay found out what had been going on, he realized that this was the next chapter in the story for him. He had already made two films about AIDS. QSL: You think this is definitely an AIDS story? CW: It’s not just an AIDS story, but it’s an important story because of the AIDS relation. If nobody were spreading a disease, it would just be a train wreck story. QSL: Well, it’s not even just about spreading the disease. More than a few people [in the movie] talked about how you burn out from being afraid. “It’s the perfect post-AIDS drug,” somebody said.

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CW: I was not in relationship. What the drug gave me was access to a type of intimacy – a type of emotional intimacy with a physical intimacy that I was – I had turned 35, I was single and I was having trouble connecting emotionally with gay men. I was dating [but] I could never seem to have emotional and physical intimacy together. One of the things that attracted me to meth was this very intense connection that I had with a couple of people. I was aware that it was obviously heightened by the drug, but at the same time it was also real. I think that part of the experience – it manifests differently for different people. That’s what becomes the target – that’s what you start chasing.

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QSL: Have you dated since? CW: I have dated since I got clean, yes. QSL: How does it differ? CW: It has been frustrating and disappointing, as it was before. Obviously I have my own issues and I’ve had a lot of challenges in my life – I haven’t really been in a place where I think I’ve been available, because as soon as I got clean, I started making this film and it’s been all encompassing for the last three years. At the same time, I think there are – certainly for my generation, for being 40, being gay and male and single and middle-aged, there are a lot of inherent challenges in that. I have a lot of friends who are in relationships and I get that it works for them, but it’s not a relationship that I would want to be in. I have a lot straight friends and I see their relationships – long-term, children - and I have a fairly intimate understanding of these relationships. I [know] what kind of relationship I want to be in, but I don’t see it very often in the gay community. I don’t see monogamy very often. To me, a relationship has always been about monogamy. Not as a judgmental, moral

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CW: People with HIV are perhaps more likely to embrace the positive aspects of the drug. I don’t think I really understood it going in, but what has become clear to me over the course of making the film is that one aspect of using meth is that you have this euphoric effect and you also have this hyper honesty: this reflection. It’s warped on the one hand, but I think there are really important truths that we reveal to ourselves and perhaps other people. I think that what meth is revealing in the community is these deeper issues in terms of AIDS fatigue, self-loathing, shame around our sexual desires and how that manifests. I really hope the film [starts] a conversation that we’re afraid to have. It’s a conversation about how judgmental our community can be; how the body culture impact individuals. And, again, I’m not talking about all gay men – I’m talking about a subset. But it’s unfortunately a subset that has the ability to maintain the HIV epidemic, because it only takes a few people crosspollinating with the general population. The younger generations are much less likely to practice safe sex because they don’t really understand what AIDS is and they don’t fear the disease. We know that’s the problem with some younger gay men – they are just ignorant. They may not ever touch the drug, they may have no clue about the drug, but they may come into contact with somebody who in their meth use contracted HIV and they don’t know that and it’s right after you are infected that you are the most contagious. That’s how we’re maintaining these numbers. I’ve been doing AIDS work for almost 20 years and I think it’s unbelievable how the community – the visible, public gay male community – have sort of stopped talking about the disease for the most part. It’s that whole thing that we’ve moved to HIV: a more palatable idea to think about than AIDS. For all of the good reasons that we have to protect and support people living with HIV and living with AIDS and try to destigmatize AIDS – in doing that, there are people who don’t think it’s a big deal. Because the discussion is so much more about HIV, there is no discussion of AIDS anymore. [We] are not trying to protect people from HIV, we’re trying to protect people from AIDS. I think as a community, we have to be willing to question everything we’ve done in the recent past. To whatever

extent there’s been a benefit for a great number of people, there’s a group of people who did not get benefits from these efforts. We need to get into that corner somehow. We think the film is a piece of that story, but it’s by no means the only problem in that story. Again, just as many or more people or more people who aren’t using meth are getting or giving HIV because of their attitudes [about] safe sex. We know that about half of new infections occur [when] the person with HIV knows [it]… They’re not knowingly infecting, they’re knowingly not protecting their partner and leaving it up to partners to protect themselves. That’s an attitude that I believe was created by the way that we handle supporting and protecting people living with HIV and concerns about people being prosecuted, being quarantined. I think that we have created this attitude that it’s up to the negative party to protect themselves. Today you have young people who just don’t know better. And then you have somebody living with HIV who has been trained to assume that the people are taking care of themselves, so there’s no conversation. Without that conversation, you have transmission.

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thing, but because that’s the way I understand how to maintain the kind of emotional bond that I want to have. I’m willing to make that sacrifice and I don’t accept that someone can’t make that – I get that it’s a sacrifice, [but] I think it’s free will and a choice. I don’t find a lot of men who think that. Not that there aren’t lots of men who do and God knows there are lots of monogamous gay couples out there, but nothing in how we commune via HX and Next Magazine and via the bars and the clubs, none of those things promote that kind of [relationship]. I think that’s also a big piece of why meth is happening, where it’s happening and how it’s happening. How else do we connect? There’s still such a premium on that kind of nightlife and the online. And online is really a key piece of it. Without the internet, it would have been much less likely that so many people would have found out about this hot sex scene and this drug.

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CW: I think there are two aspects. I think awareness is key. For people to make the decision to stop, they have to become aware of what they’re giving up and make a decision if they want that back. Whether it’s some sort of intervention or just something helping them recognize that – in a twelve-step program or therapy. I think that one thing that is very clear is that recovery happens in stages. Everybody has to be aware and on the look out for signs because you never know when you have a chance to intervene at an earlier stage. I think that some sort of therapeutic experience is really critical for anyone who is using, so they really have a chance to reflect. I think there’s just a lot of self-loathing [in the gay community]. There’s a lot of shame around our sex, our sexual behavior and I think that’s what has to be lifted for people who think [meth] is a great idea. If you have happy, lovefilled sex, you’re not going to go searching for an alternative kind of sex. I’ve heard enough stories from people in relationships who use meth outside the relationship. We have to ask ourselves – I know that I’m going to get a lot of flack for [this] – we have to ask ourselves if we’re too selfish. Just because you can do anything, does not mean you should do anything. Monogamy is not a moral, judgmental thing, but some might say it’s a practical solution to keeping a relationship together because of the challenges that are inherent in having an open relationship. I think that meth is proof of that. We have to still maintain priorities – people rely on us. I feel like gay men – had AIDS not happened, I think the generation of men we lost to AIDS who did all of that and they probably would have tapered off. My generation is the first generation to hit 40 as a critical mass. We’re the first gay men to move into our forties as a group and we’re not largely dying. The question is, “What patterns are we setting?” Are we distinguishing our forties from our thirties from our twenties? Again, many individuals are, but the visible community that you can access when

you land here from Peoria – the visible community is doing the same thing. It’s this very sexually oriented culture. I don’t think that’s sustainable. At the end of the day, it’s most important to get people talking. Also, I think the other thing mentoring is a really critical piece. I think for people your age to know and being able to visualize stages in your life is really important. My generation – we didn’t have that as a group. People who were forty died, nobody got to fifty when I was twenty-five – this idea that we literally don’t know what it looks like to grow up, I think is really a challenge for some people. It just feels more comfortable for some people to stay “young” and sexy. I think this film can help people rethink priorities on that front.

Interview with Director Jay Corcoran QSALTLAKE: Why did you choose to do this project? Jay Corcoran: I was just fed up with where a lot of guys in the gay community were going. After all that we’ve been through with the AIDS crisis and to witness or hear about people self-destructing, I was like, “Why are people doing this?” Nobody was really talking about it. They were just like, “Oh, you don’t want to know” or “Let people have sex and do drugs”. After a while, you’re just going, “These people are self-destructing! It’s not a healthy choice.” Yes, everybody’s free to make choices, but it almost felt like there was this new wave of the AIDS crisis happening again. I felt like I needed to do something and shine a light on this really dark area of our lives – whether it’s the sexuality or the drugs. I know it’s not everybody, but I think that we have to examine this and why so many gay men are spinning out. QSL: Somebody described meth as the perfect “post-AIDS” drug. Do you agree with that statement? JC: I think it is, yeah, because it helps you forget and especially in part of our culture that are narcissistic and about being worshipped. I think for older gay men, especially, those who were once the life of the party, once they start losing their looks or once their bodies have been ravaged by the AIDS drugs, they can take meth and totally forget all the trauma of losing loved ones, of being thought of as a sexual pariah. They can take this drug and walk into a room with other people taking this drug and they’re all of a sudden back at The Roxy. They’re in hot demand. It’s all of that illusion. QSL: How does that explain people like J – the younger people? JC: It also just reinforces that. For the younger people, it’s to be able to continue to be the hot guy at the party and prolong that. He can get up and do it and validates his narcissism. It’s the continued, [prolonged] validation. QSL: Almost everybody who spoke in

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the film mentioned the dissociation between love and sex in gay communities, but particularly in relation to meth. Do you think that somebody who is on meth can love? JC: I’m not an expert, but my experience working with these people for two and half years: drugs and meth, addiction, is all very isolating. I think that while you’re on meth, it’s really hard to connect. You think you’re connecting, but you’re really not. It’s an illusion. I don’t think that you can really develop relationships and love and all of that while you’re on it. I don’t see how you can do it. It’s been really interesting watching these guys because the ones who are connected, who finally find a boyfriend or have a good support system, they tend to stay sober longer and don’t relapse as often. Once they disconnect, they tend to start isolating and using drugs again. I’m not saying it’s impossible [to connect], but it’s much harder. QSL: Everybody in the film expressed a desire for a deeper social connection. One doctor talked about how a lot of people who use meth feel uncomfortable in social situations, but I honestly don’t know anybody who does feel that comfortable in social situations, especially gay people, because there’s so much desperation for connection in our communities. How can we build a connection without relying on drugs? JC: I really don’t know. That’s also another reason why I wanted to make this movie. Everyone can sit around and say, “Oh, our community sucks,” but I’m like, “Alright, there have to be ways that we can build communities.” We did it during the AIDS crisis, but all of a sudden with the protease inhibitors came, everyone said, “AIDS is over, I’m burned out, I can’t do it.” I think it’s taking some commonalities that we can use in our community and explore them and develop them… I think that’s a real conundrum that everybody is facing. Do we mentor? How do you make social centers that don’t revolve around bars or sex? I don’t know what the answer is. It’s very hard to get people to go on a Saturday to the gay and lesbian center for a social or square dancing. But I think that we can’t stop trying. It’s also about building a community in your own way; it’s about taking the initiative yourself in your own way and trying to build relationships. I think if everyone does it in their way, it could help the community. QSL: One thing I’ve always been a big proponent of is intergenerational communication. Watching the video and in our conversation with Colin, he discussed how we are now have the first generation of gay men who are not dying of AIDS – it seems to me that maybe that’s not the best thing, because if these men are having their own crisis, they’re not going to do any good for the younger gays, but I wish there were a way to bridge that divide in a healthy way. Does that make sense? JC: I think that it’s really about looking at the reasons why people have survived all this time and looking at why they’re doing it and getting them help so they don’t continue to spiral. I love the whole idea of mentorship, because both people benefit – the older person

benefits by helping out the younger person and the younger person benefits from the experience of the older person. I would love to figure out some sort of mentorship within the gay community, but if you ever mention that to people, they’re like, “Get out of my way”. But there’s definitely value to it and there are ways of getting people connected in a diverse way. I really think that you can start small – do you own thing. Making [the] film is my contribution. I think if everyone can figure out their contribution. People have to be almost entrepreneurial in their ways of connecting and finding their niche within the community. There will never be a global thing. Do you think there will ever be a time when gay men aren’t narcissistic and thinking about their abs and their dicks and getting high? There will always be circuit parties and substance abuse, that will always continue, but hopefully there will be some healthier choices and programs that will be developed. QSL: This is going to sound like a very conservative question, which I suppose it is, but do you think we’re paying the price for the sexual liberation? JC: Stonewall or the 60s? QSL: I’m talking more about post-Stonewall. JC: I think it was always there – even back in the 50s, the bathhouses – the sex scene was really big. I don’t think we’re really paying the price of the 60s revolution, because it was always going on and men were always hedonistic. I think that [what] we’re paying the price [for] is our denial. That’s what’s really coming out – the denial and the indifference to each other and ourselves. I don’t think it’s a real sexual revolution. QSL: As I was saying earlier – there seems to be a desperation for connection. It reminds me of when you have to electrons that repel one another. It’s almost like everybody is trying so hard that they can’t even see past their own lust for connection. JC: Right. Exactly. And then what happens is that you’re so guarded and so afraid of getting hurt, that you become even more uptight and so bitchy. Go to a gay gym and watch how people ignore each other… QSL: Or objectify each other. JC: Right. QSL: This certainly is a really timely subject. Hopefully it won’t be timeless. JC: It’s been a very polarizing film. We submitted to probably thirty gay and lesbian festivals and less than half accepted us. There are a lot of gay men out there who do not want to see this, do not want to see this projected, do not want this out there. I’m very heartened by the response from this release. It’s definitely not a universal thing. We’re even having trouble getting it seen on cable. I’ve had major cable companies say, “I love the film, but there’s no way I’m going to let my audience see this.” We’re still playing up against a lot, but I’m glad that we’re building up a little grass roots [support]. Q QSaltLake is working on bringing the film back to Salt Lake. No details were available at press time. Please stay tuned for info.

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The Gay Agenda YOUR CALENDAR OF ARTS, ENTERTAINMENT & IMPORTANT EVENTS

I was marginally off-base about the coverage of Anna’s bleak life. But now her insipid death has “wallpapered” television screens across America. It makes me wiggy. If I had attended the funeral, I would have pushed her mother into the grave with her and shoveled the dirt myself.

16FRIDAY Q Five sexually pent up sisters imprisoned in their own home by their pious mother reminds me of any given neighborhood in Sandy. The similarities between Frederico Garcia Lorca’s play, The House of Bernarda Alba, and the aforementioned analogy forge on: Five sisters who belong to the “lace-curtain” set of Spain’s hierarchy ( Utah’s “zioncurtain”) and live in a “backwards” village (“Utah”) under the roof of a “tyrannical” mother (“Sister” mom) must succumb to custom and mourn the death of their father for “eight years” (succumb to celibacy for an additional “two years” after graduation). The only deciphering difference is that when a handsome man is introduced, jealousy and envy erupt among Lorca’s siblings, whereas in Utah the sisters would just agree to marry him. 7:30pm, Fri. & Sat. through Mar. 24, Jay W. Lees Courage Theatre, Westminster College, 1840 S. 1300 East. Tickets $5–7, 832-2457. Q When I was in high school there were the booster and drama clubs, which seemed to attract the queers.

But there wasn’t a club where homos could congregate and devise elaborate plans of introducing homosexuality on unsuspecting heteros. Well slap me with a pearl necklace ... high school would’ve been way more fucking fun if that were the case. But I digress ... Plan-B Theatre Company presents ­Tobin Atkinson’s The Alienation ­Effekt, a satirical and current look at the people and politics behind Utah’s high school gay clubs. 8pm, through Apr. 1, Studio Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $10–15, 355‑arts or arttix.org. Q I suppose the Amber Alert works on occasion, and thankfully children of today have a higher IQ than most of their abductors. But the fact remains that when a child is kidnapped, the parents’ worlds stop — literally “freeze” into a frigidly cold and distorted state. Byron Lavery’s psychological drama, Frozen, aptly portrays the chilling underbelly of one of the most iniquitous crimes against humanity. 7:30pm, Thurs.–Sun. through Mar. 31, Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $12–20, 355‑ARTS or arttix.org.

17SATURDAY Q It’s St. Patrick’s Day and sWerve proclaims “real music you can dance to” during their St. Patty’s Day Dance Party. I’m not sure what that means since any genre of music is subjective. Perhaps their proclamation could be more specific — are we talking punk lesbian thrash or acoustic hip hop or acid celtic groove? 7pm, Static Salon, 380 W. Pierpont. Free, donations appreciated.

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Q Don’t be discouraged, Simon Cowell will not be judging Queer Idol, Utah Pride Center’s emulation of the hit reality show. Do your vocal and lip exercises, pick your favorite song and bring your “Yo!” to preliminary auditions today. The winner will receive $500, perform live at Pride Day and land a professional recording session. 10am, Utah Pride Center, 355 N. 300 West. Free to those who can actually sing and those who make dogs howl. Q The Pickle Company will host La Pocha Nostra’s Mapa/Corpo: Oppositional Rites for a Borderless Society, an interactive performance installation developed in response to the post-9/11 “era of terror.” It is a living diorama that explores the current occupation of Iraq through a symbolic mapping of the human figure. This poetic, multimedia work examines the body as occupied territory, inviting the audience to participate in a ritualistic process of decolonization. Featuring Gómez-Peña, Roberto Sifuentes, and Violeta Luna in collaboration with local artists and audience members. This is the first of a 5-day event, “Rites of Democracy” featuring the internationally-acclaimed performance art troupe La Pocha Nostra. 8pm, The Pickle Company, 741 S. 400 West. Tickets $5–10 at the door, 450-8977 or thepicklecompany.org. Q And don’t forget to head over to Club Try-Angles and try Gene’s corned-beef and cabbage and obligatory green beer. Don’t worry about your breath ... everyone there will have it, too. 4pm–2am, Club Try-Angles, a private club for members, 251 W. 900 South.

21WEDNESDAY Q Correct me if I’m wrong, but we as queer folk think we have the most fabulous, interesting lives — full of drama, intrigue, humor and sex — like a scandalous soap opera, yes? And we have to share our daily events with our friends, bar buddies and first dates. Well, now is the time to let the whole world know of our personal, social and sexual escapades by exploring the narrative and descriptive techniques of Memoir Writing. This two-day

workshop is offered by the Salt Lake Community College Community Writing Center. 6–8pm, tonight and Mar. 28, SLCC Community Writing Center, City Library, 210 E. 400 South. Registration fee $20, 9574992 or slcc.edu.

22THURSDAY Q The Gina Bachauer Foundation presents a command performance of multi-international piano competition winner Armen Babakhanian. In this unprecedented solo concert, he will capture the audience’s imagination with his pure and overwhelming talent. 7:30pm, Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $15, 355‑arts or arttix.org. Q Snowboarders are hot. I can just picture their boa constrictor thighs wrapped around my ... oh, stop! This event is about female snowboarders. The third annual Roxy Chicken Jam brings top pro snowboarders from across the world (it is “across” the world because the world is flat, right?) who compete in superpipe and slopestyle events for a $30K cash prize. All you amateur lady snowboarders are welcome to try out in the qualifying round today. Remember though, the events are focused around a ‘country fair’ theme; so wash your overalls, pull out the straw hat and wax that bale of hay. 9am, through Sunday Mar. 25, Park City Mountain Resort, 1310 Lowell Ave., Park City. Free, 800-222-PARK or ­parkcitymountain.com.

23FRIDAY Q I’m so excited I could flick my nipples! The Strawberry Gallery at Universe City hosts a $99.95 or Less Art Bargain. The art sale will include art posters by Leia Bell, ceramics by Suzanne Storer, prints by Steven Stones, jewelry by Justina ParsonsBernstein, reinvented clothing by Karen McQuilken, photographs by Tom Szalay, turned wood by Jim Craig, prints by LeRoy Jennings and work by other artists.

5–8pm tonight & noon–8pm Saturday, Strawberry Gallery, 2556 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 458-8959.

24SATURDAY

Q We all like to play under the sheets, and tonight we can do it on the dance floor with a Long Island Iced Tea in hand at Trapp Door’s Toga Party. Plastic sheets are optional, but required for some ... you know who you are. 9pm, Trapp Door, a private club for members, 615 W. 100 South.

28WEDNESDAY

Q Ok all you L-Word-loving lesbians, it’s that time of season again for the Dinah Shore Golf Classic ... wait, I mean the Dinah Shore WeekEND in sunny Palm Springs. Events include several pool parties, comedy shows, a White Party and as the main event, a “Ra” party which promises “4000 sun goddesses in an Egyptian oasis.” Today through Sunday, Apr. 1, Palm Springs California. Visit ­dinahshoreweekend.com for ticket ­packages or call 1-877-303-4624.

Q Coaching Little League baseball is probably much like coaching Utah’s Pride Softball League — a lot of screaming tantrums, outfielders cowering at pop-flys, batters swinging with their eyes closed and running out of beer by the second inning. Talk about an ordeal. Anyhoo, Richard Dresser’s witty and uplifting play Rounding Third revolves around two mismatched coaches and their team of tykes playing the great American pastime. Times vary, through Apr. 22, Salt Lake Acting Company, 168 W. 500 North. Tickets $13–34, 363-SLAC or ­saltlakeactingcompany.org.

30FRIDAY

Q First of all, congratulations to Mr. Daddy Todd Bennett for his international title win in February. Now it’s time for Daddy Todd, the reigning Mr. Utah Bear to turn over his title at the next ursine Mr. Utah Bear & Cub Contest, where a sleuth will be strutting about in all their furry glory. The three-day event includes tonight’s meet-n-greet, performances by Kendall and a victory brunch. 8pm, through Sunday, Club Try-Angles, a private club for members, 251 W. 900 South. Tickets $5 at the door, 364-3203 or utahbears.com. Q With manly-featured lead actresses, homoerotic undertones and a freakishly odd cat, Notes On A Scandal

31SATURDAY Q Since it’s the month of the four-leaf clover (I just made that up), there are several fantabulous Celtic bands and musicians in concert, including Gaelic Storm. The five-member band creates compelling originals and fresh arrangements steeped in Irish traditional melody and acoustic instrumentation combined with a unique blend of world rhythms. Dip me in whiskey and call me Rubber Wellie ... they even use a bagpipe. 7:30pm, Eccles Center, 1750 Kearns Blvd., Park City. Tickets $18–65, 435-655-3114 or ecclescenter.org.

upcoming Apr. 18 — Five for Fighting, Las Vegas Apr. 30 — Gwen Stefani, E Center May 19–20 — Cirque Du Soleil’s Delirium, E Center May 27 — RCGSE Coronation June 1–3 — Utah Pride June 8 — Salt Lake Men’s Choir Concert — Broadway Babies, Libby Gardner Hall

Cyndi Lauper, Erasure and More Bring Queer True Colors Tour to SL By Tony Hobday

tony@qsaltlake.com

SavetheDate A calendar of fabulous events in the area.

Mar. 30–Apr. 1 Mr. Utah Bear & Cub Contest, Club TryAngles. utahbears.com Apr. 1 Affirmation: Fireside and Mission Reunion, Metropolitan Community Church affirmation.org

June 9 True Colors Tour, USANA Amphitheatre smithstix.com June 9–Oct. 20 Farmers’ Market Pioneer Park Saturdays

June 30 Gay Freedom Day, Harmony Park pride365.org

Apr. 21 Queer Prom, Salt Palace utahpridecenter.org

July 21–23 2007 Bear Ruckus, Lava Hot Springs utahbears.com

Apr. 29 RCGSE Golden Spike Awards, venue TBA rcgse.org

Aug. 3–5 National Gamofite Retreat, Fort Douglas gamofites.org

May 27 RCGSE Coronation, venue TBA rcgse.org June 1–3 Utah Pride Festival, Library Square utahpride.org June 8 Broadway Babies, Libby Gardner Hall saltlakemenschoir.org

Nov. 2–8 Salt Lake Gay and Lesbian Film Festival saltfest.org If you would like your event considered for this list, email tony@­qsaltlake. com. Annual and semi-annual events that appeal to a large portion of the gay community are considered.

Cyndi Lauper has been a known advocate of human rights since the beginning of her music career in the mid-80s, most notably with her participation on the USA for Africa’s famine-relief fund raising single, “We are the World.” Lauper’s humanitarianism continued to emulate through her musical expression as she took on hard-hitting topics like spousal abuse and abortion on the 1993 release, Hat Full of Stars. Though Lauper had a gay following early on, it wasn’t until 1997 that she captured the hearts of millions in the gay community everywhere with her fifth album Sisters of Avalon. The upbeat dance club stylings and queer topics such as the complications of a drag queen’s life in “Ballad of Cleo and Joe,” lesbian relationships in “Brimstone and Fire” and the struggles of coming out in “You Don’t Know” garnered Lauper as a gay icon and she began performing at gay pride events around the world. Now, in an unprecedented inaugural event, Cyndi Lauper — in collaboration with Logo television — present the aptly titled True Colors Tour which hits 15 cities across the U.S. including Salt Lake City on June 9 at USANA Amphitheatre. A number of artists, from music legends to today’s hottest groups, join Lauper in this celebration of the basic values and freedoms that should be shared by all Americans. The artist line-up includes Erasure, Debbie Harry, The Dresden Dolls, The Misshapes and The Gossip. The tour will be hosted by comedian Margaret Cho who said, “I am thrilled to be part of this tour because I am about as colorful and as queer as it gets. Who else is going to keep all those Queens in line?” In select cities, special guest appearances include Rufus Wain-

wright, Rosie O’Donnell, the Indigo Girls, among others. Lauper conceived the idea as a way to give back to the community for the love and support it has given her throughout her career. Through a joint program with the Human Rights Campaign, as well as PFLAG and The Matthew Shepard Foundation, the tour will bring together a profound voice of solidarity against discrimination and raise public awareness about the issues facing the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community. “As an American I was raised to believe that all people have the right to live with the same dignity, opportunity and safety. This should include everyone no matter what gender or sexual orientation,” said Lauper. “This tour was created to celebrate our differences by raising awareness for liberty, fairness and dignity for everyone — not just some of us. Our fans can come out to celebrate a great cause while also hearing some great music.” Ticket prices $40–99 and go on sale Mar. 17, call 467-TIXX or smithstix.com. For more information about the tour, visit truecolorstour.com. One dollar from each ticket sold will be donated to the Human Rights Campaign and the Utah AIDS Foundation.

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Q I guess many people would like to see me flogged because I’ve never liked The Beatles, never understood the hoopla. But what the hell do I know about music, I’m chewing at the bit for Britney’s comeback. Anyhoo, Strut Productions presents 1964 — The Tribute, featuring songs from the preSgt. Pepper era, and recreates an early ’60s live Beatles concert, with period instruments, clothing, hairstyles, and onstage banter. 8pm, Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple. Tickets $20–35, 355-ARTS or arttix.org.

garnered four Academy nods, but walked away with zip. The Park City Film Series offers three screenings of the flick this weekend. 8pm, tonight & Saturday; 6pm Sunday, Jim Santy Auditorium, 1255 Park Ave., Park City. Tickets $5–6 at the door, 435615-8291 or parkcityfilmseries.com.

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Q Scene Dave Harris of A-D Photography was nice enough to snap a few shots of out former Jazz player John Amaechi and fans at a book signing at Borders Books in Murray. He also bought me a book and got it signed. And all with no sexual favors. Wow! A few pics from the QUAC-a-pades and some Club Gossip round out our QScene section. —Michael Aaron

JOHN AMAECHI BOOK SIGNING AT BORDERS BOOKS IN MURRAY BY A-DPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

QUEER UTAH AQUATIC CLUB’S QUACAPADES DURING THEIR SKI-N-SWIM COURTESY OF QUAC

CLUB GOSSIP BY BREK JOOS AT BREKJOOS.COM

Food & Wine

Restaurant Owners

Red Iguana

Advertise to a demographic that:

by Vanessa Chang

ADDRESS: 736 W. North Temple, SLC PHONE: (801) 322-1489 HOURS: Monday-Thursday 11:00am-10:00pm Friday-Saturday 11:00am-11:00pm Sunday 10:00am-9:00pm All credit cards accepted Reservations taken for parties of 6 or more

Go to Red Iguana on a Saturday night and you’ll encounter massive hordes waiting for a coveted floral vinyl-topped table. Try your luck on a Thursday or Monday night and it’s the same. You’ll have to wait in the margins of the main dining room, pretending not to stare at the lucky bastards who already have platters of nightly specials and Ramon’s fish tacos. This place is always packed. Yet, the suffering doesn’t last very long—you usually never end up waiting for more than half an hour before sitting down to possibly some of the best Mexican food in the region. For those whose palate for Mexican food formed from drive-thru windows and insistence on mild everything, this may be a literal culture shock. But the Cardenas family rewards you with satisfying creations carrying the selfbranded title of “imperial Aztec cuisine.” Though flashy and exotic to eyes, ears, and mind, it bears no resemblance to haute cuisine and all its trappings. It is the humblest of culinary pleasures— celebratory eats for some, unequivocal comfort food for others. To sit in the dining room is to submerge in the cacophony that is uniquely Red Iguana. Like being in the middle of huge bubbling pot of posole, you churn in the energy of diverse patrons, the crack and sizzle of plates hot from the line, and the efficient-but-frantic pace of the servers. Visually, the interior is as much a feast as the food. There’s nary a white wall in sight; they’re all covered with intense hues, regional Mexican craftsmanship, autographical graffiti of celebrity diners, and photos of the late Ramon Cardenas, Jr. A combination of

• Eats out more often • Spends more on each meal • Go out of their way to support those who advertise directly to them

Call

801-649-6663 or 1-800-806-7357 to advertise today! Open to trade accounts

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low-lighting, red walls, and pierced-tin votives make for an almost transcendental experience, a color-saturated mellow acid trip that’s highlighted with the incredible cuisine the kitchen manages to churn out each and every night. A lot of the menu is familiar for those who enjoy Mexican food. The real gems, however, are in items lesser known to the average diner’s repertoire. Bites of cochinita pibil (shredded roasted pork basted with achiote) and pescado a la Veracruzana (a fish of the day sprinkled with sesame seeds, paprika, sautéed and served with a tomato-based sauce of chile guero, garlic, oregano, and green olives) attest to the title “imperial Aztec cuisine.” If you’re mole-curious, ask for a sampler and you’ll get a smattering of each in a lovely color wheel. From there you can gather how much spice you can handle with chicken, pork, or turkey. Amarillo is a spice-freak’s delight with enough potency to induce sweating with one whiff. On the other end of the spectrum, the red pipian is delightfully sweet, redolent with peanuts, pumpkin seeds, and chiles. The negro is a favorite, imbued with smoky chiles, fennel seeds, and Mexican chocolate, especially when doused over pockets of refried beans and corn tortillas as in the enmoladas. If history had a flavor, surely this would be it. My dining companion is a champion of the enchiladas suizas that boasts a beautiful texture and flirtatious play between the sweet heat of the mole poblano and the cooling kiss of sour cream and avocado. And it would be sacrilege to pass a meal without a cold Dos Equis or Modelo. For dessert, flan is dense and rich in a pool of thin caramel sauce. The addictive tres leches cake looks unassuming, but the sweet condensed milk in its crumbs elevate to ethereal standards. The only drawback (other than everyone wanting to eat here at the same time, all the time) is that the service can sometimes be harried. Turnover is key here. But with polite words (“No, I am not done, thank you.”) or a passive-aggressive look (“Bitch, don’t touch my mole!”), you can re-set the pace and savor the food.

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Dining Guide Nick-N-Willy’s Pizza

4536 S. Highland Drive (801)273-8282 M–F 10:30am-9pm, SA 11am-9pm SU 12pm-9pm

What a refreshing surprise it was to try Nick-N-Willy’s World Famous Pizza in Holladay. The location in the Albertson’s Plaza is the first in Utah, with several more rumored to open up along the Wasatch Front. The company’s premise is a range of higher-end toppings atop small-batch-produced crust. The franchise started out of Boulder, Colorado, so this isn’t going to be a New York or Chicago style of pie. It seems every place has its signature style. As far as I’m concerned, Salt Lake has yet to lay out its pizza manifesto (and I won’t even consider Jell-O anywhere in this equation). Consider it a carte blanche to enjoy any damn style you prefer, or better yet, crave.

Cafe Med

216 E. 500 South, Salt Lake City (801) 322-4101 M–TH 11am–3pm; 5pm–9:30pm F–SA 11am–3pm; 5pm–10pm

On any given night, the eclectic environment of Cafe Med houses and feeds a range of folks. One evening included double-dating gay couples toasting with Armenian Kilikia beer, two interracial couples, a small group of ladies distressing over the state of local theater, and

a family with full-grown children sharing glasses of wine—all serviced by a small and efficient wait staff. Meal portions are huge — perfect for sharing around the table. The real adventure in dining out at Café Med is the Persian dishes, all of which come with aromatic basmati rice. Koofteh—plum stuffed meatballs stewed in a light tomato sauce—showcases the playful balance of sweet and savory flavors of Persian cooking. The Persian eggplant stewed in tomatoes and served atop the restaurant’s signature dill basmati rice is an unforgettable creation.

Urban Bistro

216 E. 500 South, Salt Lake City (801) 322-4101 M–TH 11am-3pm; 5pm-9:30pm F–SA 11am-3pm; 5pm-10pm

There are those in the dining world whose approach to food is so austere that anything but the food and the immediate necessities (i.e. über-chic flatware, one of a kind Riedel stemware) are superfluous additions. Charlie Trotter and devotees wax poetic about dining in pared down décor. Devoid of distractions such as background music, artwork, etc., the food can truly be the center of attention. If you can’t live in a loft, you can at least enjoy a meal in one. Works from local artists acces-

sorize cement walls, exposed brick, and high ceilings. Enough color and visual interest to strike up a conversation or give you an excuse to drift off on a thought when conversation gets too boring for actual participation.

also dine in the adjoining private club, or simply enjoy a cocktail while snuggled in a velvet-lined booth. Those going to Capitol Theatre across the street can enjoy a preor post-event menu.

Avenues Bakery & Bistro

Belgian Waffle & Omelet Inn

481 E. South Temple, Salt Lake (801) 746-5626 Daily 7am-10pm

The vibe at Avenues Bakery & Bistro is unique in Salt Lake. Situated on the fringes of downtown and its namesake neighborhood, it’s a great respite for residents of the area. Its appeal is urbane, with distressed floors and exposed ceilings and brick. But even with all its sophisticated trappings, it manages to be quite comfortable. The lofty space with abundant windows gives it an elemental charm that’s inviting to moms with strollers and the suited working-class.

Bambara

202 S. Main St. (801) 363-5454 Breakfast M–F 7-10am; SA-SU 8-11am Lunch: Daily 11am-2pm Dinner: SU-TH 5:30-10pm, F-SA 5:30-11pm

Seasonal menus reflect regional American and international influences at this artfully designed destination restaurant. The setting, formerly an ornate bank lobby adjacent to the swank Hotel Monaco, is as much of a draw as the food. An open marble-fronted kitchen, big windows framed in fanciful hammered metal swirls, and a definite “buzz” make Bambara a popular gathering spot. You can

7331 S 900 E, Midvale, (801) 566-5731 Open 24 hours

The Belgian Waffle & Omelet Inn is a favorite for skiers heading up to the slopes to gorge themselves with the carbs they’ll need for the day. The restaurant is big and casual, usually filled with big families, seniors and kids from across-the-street Hillcrest High. On the weekend mornings, expect to wait a few minutes for a table. The namesake Belgian waffles come loaded with whipped cream, ice cream or fruit. Go for the garbage hash (cheese-covered potatoes with ham, bacon, onions, peppers and mushrooms) or one of the gargantuan omelettes (they come out looking like a pancake, served flat and smothered with cheese). Lunch and dinner choices range from burgers and sandwiches to giant platters of roast turkey, pot roast and chicken fried steak.

Caffé Molise

55 W. 100 South, Salt Lake City (801) 364-8833 M–TH. 11:30am–2pm; 5:30–9pm F 11:30am–2; 5:30–10pm Sat. 5:30–10pm

There’s always one foolproof test when it comes to rating Italian

restaurants with my friends: gnocchi. In the world according to Mr. R., Mr. Y, and especially our good friend Mr. M (now residing, ironically, in the carb-phobic capital of L.A.), a good Italian restaurant has to offer at least one version of gnocchi. How? They don’t care. Swathe it in nothing but a velvety and arteryclogging mixture of Gorgonzola and butter. Let it macerate in enough pesto to keep your breath volatile for two days. Or, in true gluttonous fashion, transform the entire dish with a tangy tomato sauce and enough cream to make it electric pink. Just give ’em the gnocchi. So, needless to say, Mr. R. was especially thrilled to see the gnocchi di patate on Caffé Molise’s dinner menu. Mazza

1515 S. 1500 East, Salt Lake City (801) 484-9259 M–SA 11 am to 9 pm

I try not to review restaurants where I know the folks. Never mind the ethics behind it; simply, it’s bloody uncomfortable trying to review a place that you frequent and adore. There are plenty of selfish reasons for this as well. When you’re on a firstname basis with a favorite place, it’s your space. It has nothing to do with the professional realm. In fact, it’s a refuge from it. There, you meet up with friends and get a good meal. So, why on earth would I want to transform

buzz@qsaltlake.com

I’ll be the first to admit—I tend to be a bit devoted in my TV viewing. If I find a show I like, I cling to it for dear life, and once my TV viewing plate if full, it’s tough to get me to venture outside my set schedule and try something new. This week, I did just that on the recommendation of a friend, and while I doubt E!’s Starveillance is going to become a regular part of my viewing schedule, it’s definitely something you must check out. Star Jones and Barbara Walters in counseling days before Star’s infamous on-air announcement? Star’s fed up with Barbara’s speech impediment while Barbara insists Star fess up about how she really lost weight. Simon Cowell

Orbit Cafe

540 W. 200 South (801) 322-3808 M-TH 11am-10pm; F 11am-3am; Sat-Sun, 9 am-3 pm

With so much to enjoy visually at the Orbit, and friendly servers who make everyone feel welcome, it might seem as though the food is secondary. Not so. It’s not cutting-edge trendy, by any means; most of the items would fall in the “classics” category, with garlic burgers, fish and chips, club sandwiches and a Philly cheese steak among them. With plenty of good reasons to visit Orbit Cafe, there’s still one more: the prices. Most entrees are under $10, and include a cup of soup or a nice house salad, especially good with the caramelized onion vinaigrette.

Restaurant owners:

Get listed in the QSaltLake Dining Guide. Call 801-649-6663 or 800-840-7357 ext. 10 today

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By Ross von Metzke

this relationship and throw it into the cauldron of work-related stress? In this instance, the answer is simple. Mazza is a great place to eat. Period. Those going to Capitol Theatre across the street can enjoy a pre- or post-event menu.

32   ď Ž   Q S A LT L A K E   ď Ž   I S S U E 74   ď Ž   M A R C H 16 , 2 0 0 7

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Gay Real Estate Spring Planning for Homeowners: How to Get the Jump on the Market. Realtors all know that the busiest season for residential sales is in springtime, after many homes have languished on the market through cold and dreary winter months. Buyers come out to play, landscapes come alive making homes look their best, and sellers who are ready can gain the advantage of the first wave of spring shopping fever. Those who wait until the tulips bloom to do their spring cleaning and put things into motion will often be too late, and that can mean missing the best marketing momentum of the year. A better strategy is to plan ahead and use the quiet final weeks of winter – when contractors, landscapers, and Realtors have less business and plenty of time on their hands – to prepare for success. With a little effort and even a small budget, it is easy to dress up your property and get ready for lots of early showings and a quick sale at a higher price. Here are five tips for those planning to list and sell their homes as soon as the weather improves and the blossoms fill the flowerbeds: 1. Talk to a Realtor and Do Preliminary Research: Ask a Realtor to “run comps� – or research comparative prices of recently sold homes in your neighborhood. How long they were on the market prior to sale, how similar they are to your property in size, condition, and amenities, and how close the final purchase amount was to the original asking price are key

pieces of information. By analyzing them, a Realtor can help you establish the best and highest price for your own property.

2. Get a Professional Critique: Invest a little to dress up your home and you can gain many times that amount at the closing table. Houses that look neat and tidy and have no conspicuous problems or needed repairs fetch higher prices and sell faster. Have a Realtor or inspector give your home a complimentary once-over, suggesting things to make it look better before you put it on the market. Make a budget and a punch list of tasks, and prepare to get the work done before your house is listed, so you can put your best foot forward right out of the starting gate. 3. Interview and Schedule Contractors: As soon as you complete your to-do list, line up contractors while their business is still slow, establish a budget, and get the dirty work done and out of the way. Landscapers, painters, masons, plumbers, and carpenters are generally swamped with calls in springtime but are hungry for work during winter. Schedule them while the weather is still cold and you will get prompt service – perhaps at discounted prices – but if you wait until April or May they may be too booked to even return your calls. 4. Do Serious Housekeeping: Once the repairs are done and the work crews and their muddy shoes are out of

the way, give your home a deep clean, begin packing non-essentials, straighten out the garage and the basement, and wax the floors. 5. Price the property while using a calendar: Now go back to step #1, and revisit those comps with your Realtor. In a shifting market, prices can change dramatically within a month or two, so fine tune your research and establish a fresh, updated price. Mark it on your calendar, and if your strategy is to start high and then lower the price if needed, mark it down and date it. If you decide to drop the price 15 percent after 21 days, for example, stick to the plan automatically when the calendar tells you it’s time. Don’t get bogged down with indecision and secondguess yourself into hanging on while buyers take their business elsewhere.

range a weekday Open House for Brokers. This type of Open House should be done on Monday or Tuesday, when most Realtors are not as busy showing property. Offer a simple lunch of sandwiches and soda, and have your listing agent invite every real estate brokerage in the area. Give each guest a fact sheet with a photo of the house to help them remember it. For each Realtor who shows up, you will gain access to dozens of qualified buyers, so this kind of event is the ultimate inexpensive advertisement. By following these basic guidelines you can eliminate costly mistakes, make the best use of your time, and help take your emotional fears and insecurities out of the process. While the competition is scrambling to attract buyers you’ll be entertaining purchase offers or already relocating to your new home.

6. Go “Live� with Your Listing and Plan an Open House for Brokers: As soon as you’ve done steps 1-4, list the property and have your listing agent ar-

Trust the sale of your home to a professional committed to equality and integrity in services to the GLBT community at ­GayRealEstate. com. Or call toll-free at 1-888-420-MOVE.

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8?==;HÈ8;JJ;HÈD;MIMEHJ> Hollywood Buzz OÈ?DJ;H;IJ?D=ÈH;7:78B;È8H? N LESBIAT MAGAZINE D N A GAY MEN =>J;HÈJ?C;BOÈ97CFOÈ9ECF; UTAH’S& ENTERTAIN NEWS BB?D=ÈJ>EK=>J#FHELEA?D=È >?B7H?EKIÈ<KDÈC;7D?D=<KBÈ LOCAL NEWS. M?JJOÈ=7OÈ?DI?=>J<KBÈ?DJH? =K?D=È8;D;<?9?7BÈIKFFEHJ?L LOCAL WRITERS. ;È8K?B:?D=È=HEM?D=ÈI;NOÈ9 LARGEST. KJJ?D= ;:=;È=H7J?<O?D=È87 B7D9;:È?D<EHC7J?L;ÈIEKB<K ON-TIME. BÈM7HCÈJ?C;BOÈ9ECF;BB?D= THE ONLY ONE ÈH;7:78B;È?DJ;H;IJ?D=È97CF YOU READ. O8?==;HÈ8;JJ;HÈD;MIMEHJ >OÈ?DJ;H;IJ?D=ÈH;7:78B;È8 Get 3 H?=>J;HÈJ?C;BOÈ97CFOÈ9EC F;BB?D=ÈJ>EK=>J#FHELEA?D FREE Issues! =È>?B7H?EKIÈ<KDÈC;7D?D=<K Call 649-6663 or BÈM?JJOÈ=7OÈ?DI?=>J<KBÈ?DJ H?=K?D=È8;D;<?9?7BÈIKFFEHJ 1-800-806-7357 ?L;È8K?B:?D=È=HEM?D=ÈI;NOÈ 9KJJ?D= ;:=;È=H7J?<O?D=È8 IkXiYh_X[ 7B7D9;:È?D<EHC7J?L;ÈIEKB< '+ (KBÈM7HCÈJ?C;BOÈ9ECF;BB?D =ÈH;7:78B;È?DJ;H;IJ?D=È97C FOÈ8;D;<?9?7BÈIKFFEHJ?L;È8 K?B:?D=È=HEM?D=ÈI;NOÈ9KJJ ?D= ;:=;È=H7J?<O?D=È87B7D 9;:È?D<EHC7J?L;ÈIEKB<KBÈ By Ross von Metzke buzz@qsaltlake.com

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We’ve got Naomi Campbell mopping floors, Star Jones finding her way back on television, Bobby Brown managing to wrap his hands around $20,000 while someone got Britney Spears back into some cute clothes. All this and Rosie O’Donnell actually has cause to shut her yap. I feel like all of Hollywood’s teamed up for an episode of Wife Swap and no one told the press. Don’t expect Naomi to don a French maid’s skirt when she picks up some Ajax and a mop for Sanitation Sunday next week. When Naomi’s down on her knees with a scrub brush, methinks she’ll contemplate placing a call to T-Mobile to discontinue service. One less inanimate object to tempt her when her maid rolls in late from a long weekend. Stellar work, whatever judge came up with Naomi’s punishment. Teach her to stop beating the help by making her work like the help. Scrub a dub-dub while the type of men likely to work in a sanitation department stand by with Sports Illustrated swimsuit editions from years past and tell Naomi to stay on her knees. Eye for an eye, indeed. And while we’re at it, shouldn’t someone send up a flare to housekeepers everywhere with Naomi’s bio and resume: work for this bitch at your own risk. Weirder still is that after a failed stint on public access radio, Court TV is giving Star Jones her old job back. Well, not exactly. It’s a new show this time, combining criminal justice with the media. Justice, my ass. If there were any justice in this world, Star Jones would be on unemployment with 4.6% of Americans. I should stop. She says she wishes The View well. I don’t believe her, but it’s a nice gesture. No sooner did that DC radio station bail Bobby out of the slammer that he turned around, came up with $20K and said sayonara. Hell, he didn’t even make it through a ten minute phone interview — hung up in the middle of the call. Whitney took him and Bobbi Kris out for dinner in LA the next night. Wonder who popped for the plane ticket to fly him out there? Word is they left in separate cars. Whitney doesn’t want him to know where she lives. It takes seven years to get a squatter off your property in the state of California once he starts getting mail there. Footballer Tom Brady wasted no time kicking

his ex to the curb. The one-man impregnating squad got his ex gal-pal Bridget Monynahan (I can barely place her myself) preggers with his baby even though they’ve been splitsville for three months — conveniently, she’s four along. And now that Tom’s taken up with a new girl (supermodel Giselle Bundchen), reports indicate she’s with child, too. Of course, you know how those baby bump reports go. Might just be a big sweater — or perhaps she ate. Either way, I’d carry Tom Brady’s baby to term.

Speaking of babies, mother of two Britney Spears has managed to stay in rehab for nearly two weeks, though varied reports suggest she’s not happy, doesn’t believe she has a drinking problem and that it all boils down to post-partum depression (damn, whoever gave her Brooke Shields’ book without the Cliff Notes?) And while the “Toxic” singer has been reprimanded for making cell phone calls and leaving to attend meetings elsewhere, one good thing has come of Britney’s stay at Promises: she managed to get her hands on some cute clothes — online. No more hoochie denim cutoffs and shirts that say she’s got the golden ticket in Britney’s future. No, given time to reflect, Britney’s gone couture. Too bad the only people who get to see it don’t have connections at U.S. Weekly or Perez. Britney’s kicking it online ‘cuz word is she’s not driving places while trying to get clean. Prison Break castoff Lane Garrison ain’t driving either — but that’s ‘cuz they took his license when he got all coked up and crashed his car. No word on when or if he gets it back. Til’ then, he’s been seen around town taking the bus. Hot! Rosie O’Donnell got thrown under the bus when she attacked American Idol (again), this time for being weightist and racist. Hear that, Ruben Studdard? You’re skinny and white! The tirade came on the heels of learning that hottie contestant Antonella Barba was being allowed to remain on the show despite having nudie pics floating around online while three seasons ago, big, black and beautiful Frenchie Davis was given the boot for her past work in porn. Antonella Barba, innocent titty shots that just happened to surface. Frenchie Davis, porn. Rosie doesn’t see the distinction, and therefore Idol has prevented her from showing any more clips. Barbara Walters made it clear Rosie’s opinion is Rosie’s opinion. Joy said they should have that monogrammed across her chest. Thing is, who’s going to cop to reading that? Until next time, stop and smell the gossip! Q

Ask a Porn Star Luke Garrett When last we touched base with big ol’ hunk of muscle, COLT Man Luke Garrett, he had his hands full telling some kid who was scared of giving it up to his boyfriend without protection that sex is still plenty enjoyable with a rubber. Now, the Waterbucks 2 star proves himself ready, willing and able at the art of advice as he coaches a kid who’s looking to spice up his sex life and explains the difference between soul mates and partners. Dear Luke — I watch lots of porn and some of the sex you guys have in the videos looks fun as hell. Trouble is, in my life the sex all seems to be very plain. It’s not bad, it’s just not exciting. Do you have any tips on how I can do it like you do in the videos? — Two Scoops of Vanilla Hey Two Scoops — Come join us! I can guarantee that having sex with another COLT Man is freakin’ hot. I appreciate in a big way you pointing that out, since I often wonder if guys think we’re faking it. One of the great things about COLT is the opportunity they give us to live out some really amazing, erotic fantasies — get your hands on Waterbucks 2 if you think I’m exaggerating … you’ll never look at a pool the same way again. I’ve always been open about living fantasies in my own, private sex life as well: Fantasies are great when they’re in your head, and can be passionately brought to life in the flesh. Just as the bed isn’t the only place to play, there’s endless variety in exploring sexual desires. Tap into it with lusty abandon. What I’ve found is that, after one of those intense “that was incredible” sessions, the pleasure and desire we have and feel for each other infuses our more ordinary love-making as well. Wrapped around him, I’m so incredibly aware of all that we share, all that we’ve opened ourselves up to experience with each other. The connection is electric. ‘Okay — gotta go. My Marine and his uniform are hungry for attention.’ And if you’re interested in reading about some of my more explicit fantasies, I’m all about sharing and have written down many of them on my website: LukeGarrett.net. You can also see more “fun as hell” video clips there as well as on my partner’s website (GageWeston. com) where we’ve loaded up some of our home videos. Good luck. — Luke Garrett Dear Luke — Is it possible to be in love with someone and not physically attracted to them? I feel like I’ve found my soulmate… someone I want to spend my life with. There’s just no sexual chemistry and it makes me confused. What should I do? — Soul Without Sex

— Luke Garrett

For more on Luke Garrett, visit his official Web site at ­LukeGarrett.net. Look for Waterbucks 2 at COLTStudios.com.

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Hey Soul — Congratulations on having such a great guy in your life. Sounds like you’re a pretty great (and greatly caring) guy yourself. To start with the obvious, of course it’s possible to love someone without being attracted to him/her. I love my parents and I guarantee, though my dad is a hottie in his own right, I’m not attracted to the big fella. But sex is an integral part of my relationship with my own partner, and I’m so grateful we have that incredibly intimate contact with each other. To me, the fact that you’re even asking the question says you desire that sexual chemistry. Don’t most people? Granted, I know guys in amazing relationships — you can practically see their souls intertwined in bliss — and they don’t have sex with each other. They do have sex with others and it doesn’t detract from their intimacy at all. If that’s you, then problem solved. If that’s not you, then there’s tremendous joy in discovering a soul mate with whom you connect on every level, including the sexual.

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STDs including chlamydia and gonorrhea continue to be among the most commonly reported infectious diseases in Salt Lake County, the State of Utah and the United States. If you are infected, you are clearly not alone! In the past five years, the number of gonorrhea cases diagnosed in Salt Lake County and in Utah has tripled. A large proportion of the gonorrhea cases here in Salt Lake are currently found in MSM (men who have sex with men).

your balls are too big, or even if you notice that they just seem a little bigger than normal, then it is probably a sign that there is some sort of bacteria or virus floating around in your body. Guys, when it comes to sexually transmitted infections, the bad stuff likes to “hang out” in your testicles. Although a simple urine test can detect gonorrhea, the MSM community needs to know that this test by itself could give you a false sense of security. A urine test by itself does not necessarily mean that you are not infected. If you have ever had receptive anal sex or if you have ever performed oral sex, you will also need to be swabbed in the rectum and in the throat to check for infection. These tests are not as fun as going to fun time camp, but they are much more effective in detecting disease.

Why would you want to know if you are not having problems? Over 50% of those infected with Gonorrhea do not have symptoms. If you are one of the lucky asymptomatic ones, you may think, “why should I bother with a test?” The answer is not just so that you can protect yourself and your partners, but so that you can stay sexually active for a long time. Even if you are not showing external symptoms, gonorrhea is a serious infection, and the bacteria are likely causing damage to your internal organs and tissue, particularly the tissue in your sexual organs. When left untreated, gonorrhea can lead to swelling that can lead to problems with erections, incontinence or fertility. Untreated gonorrhea can also spread to the blood or joints and can result in arthritis, meningitis or death. People who are infected with gonorrhea are also more likely to spread or acquire HIV during sex. These are all consequences of infection that could really dampen your sex life down the road, so it’s a good idea to get tested and treated. People who have symptoms are likely to show discharge from their penis or their rectum or have pain or burning during urination. You may notice that your testicles have become swollen or sore. If you find yourself wondering if

The Good News! The good news is that if you are infected with gonorrhea, it is treatable with antibiotics. It is important that your partners also get treated so that you don’t get re-infected. The more often you are infected, the greater your chances of having long-term problems. As usual, the best way to protect yourself from any infection during sex is by using condoms. If you plan ahead and have condoms available, you are much more likely to use them. If you talk to your partner about making them fun, you are also more likely to use them: you could try putting them on with your mouth, or playing a game to see if you can slip one on your partner without him being able to tell. When you have peace of mind during sex, your sex life is likely to be richer. The other good news is that these the Salt Lake Valley Health Department STD Program wants YOU ... to get tested. Our STD and HIV rapid tests are completely confidential. In honor of National STD testing week (April 16-20) they are also free on Wednesday, April 18 at 610 S. 200 E. Room 135 from 10 am to 6 pm. The SLVHD regularly offers low cost STD and HIV rapid tests Monday through Friday. For an appointment, call 534-4666.

To Your Health Balls Too Big? by Lynn Beltran

lynn@qsaltlake.com

If you find yourself wondering if your balls are too big, then it is probably a sign that there is some sort of bacteria or virus floating around in your body.

Q Puzzle

Land’s End

6 Columbus circuit-party color 7 Not much 8 “To boldly go where ___ has gone before...” 9 Chat with Rosie on The View 10 Beauty that’s only skin deep 11 Have intercourse with? 12 Process for many gay parents 13 More like Shilts? 18 Board, as for an Atlantis Cruise 19 “Look ___, I’m Sandra Dee” 25 Loads 26 The Count of Monte Cristo author 31 Gay Pride Day event 33 Park of Queens 34 Beginning of A Raisin in the Sun

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____ __ ____ _____ ___ __ ___ ____ ___ ____ 35 You might stick it where it doesn’t belong 37 Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit writer Winterson 38 Peter the Great, for one 39 Gary Glickman novel 40 Condition after getting cold-cocked 41 Becomes de-nuded? 44 Award for Cherry Jones 45 Notes on Camp author Susan 47 Have the hots for 48 Vidal essay collection 49 My Lucky Star author Joe 52 Charlize Theron’s Monster award 57 Willow’s female lover 59 Elevator pioneer Elisha 61 Cause of Venus envy? 62 Peri’s Frasier role 63 Uptown’s direction in NYC

Puzzle solutions are on page 38.

M A R C H 16 , 2 0 0 7    I S S U E 74    Q S A LT L A K E    3 7

55 Premature ejaculation meas. 56 Kinsey org. 28 “Is ___?” (Last Supper 58 Dayan of the land of question) the cut Across 29 Writer Castillo 60 Flower for Tennessee 1 One with flaming 30 Larry Kramer, to Yale Williams? pants? 32 Collaborator with Elton 64 Vermont, to Renee 5 Former coin of Colette’s 34 Pansies’ output Vivien land 36 Boy George’s “Whether 65 Gay porn star Lawrence 10 Old head They Like ___ Not” 66 La Douce role of Shirley 14 Rock Hudson’s 37 Mild expletive from a MacLaine A Farewell to ___ first mate? 67 King’s groups of games 15 Artoo ___ of Star Wars 41 Bible bk. at Beth 68 Eat leaves of grass 16 Alan of The Object of Simchat Torah 69 James Baldwin’s My Affection 42 Scrubs hard The Evidence of Things 17 Transvestite’s ill fate? 43 10-to-1, and others Not ___ 20 1300 hrs., to Col. 46 60 minutes with Frida Down Cammermeyer 47 U.S. terr. that’s now 1 Drag queen Van Zant 21 Nuts two states 2 Patch style 22 Mail order abbr. 50 Bowie collaborator 3 One that can reproduce 23 Kind of scene 51 Radley of To Kill a nonheterosexually 24 Tatum O’Neal’s Mockingbird 4 Say whether or not The ___ News Bears 53 T, to a “Homer-phile” you’re coming 27 Locale for Brando’s 54 Summer for Rimbaud 5 Eleanor’s beard? Apocalypse Now

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3 8   ď Ž   Q S A LT L A K E   ď Ž   I S S U E 74   ď Ž   M A R C H 16 , 2 0 0 7

Classifieds Help Wanted

For rent

All Kinds of jobs avail‑ able. Temp, temp to hire. Immediate need. All pay ranges. ­ Contact Steve Whittaker 801‑463‑4828.

Liberty Park area. Large basement unit. 1  bdrm, 1 bath, laun‑ dry facility, high-speed internet, expanded ca‑ ble, dishwasher, fridge. $700/mo. Tyler, 651-6566.

Place your classified ad today by calling 801-649-6663 or 1-800-806-7357

S u pp o r t Quality news in Utah’s

gay and lesbian community. Advertise in QSaltLake and help Fast Food manager, Under Contract build this valuable Fantastic 2 bedroom 2 assistant manager and r e s o u r c e . bath unit has been re‑ shift leaders needed im‑ Spacious one bed‑ U t a h mediately in West Val‑ ley. Call 759‑2104.

CAREER Are you looking for the perfect business to work from the privacy of your own home or at your own convenience? Then you have found it! If you are tired of being burned by all the earnfrom-home scams out there, then check out this opportunity. Your job is just to be a rep‑ resentative at your own convenient time, write back and i will give you more insight on the job, a response from you might be your greatest turn over to success in life, so what you wait‑ ing for, get back to me and you will be happy you did so. vmcknight_ arts80@yahoo.com 206-984-0147

ROOMMATES Small Attic room in downtown home. Share common areas with other male roommates. Must be gay-friend‑ ly. $280/mo. Dep. req’d. All utls. included less DSL. No pets. Avail. af‑ ter Feb. 25. Call David 801-864-4007.

ROOMMATE ads are just $5! Call 649-6663 or 1-800806-7357 or go to qsaltlake.com to place yours today.

room between down‑ town and University of Utah available April 1. $700 per month plus electricity, 6-month lease, $300 deposit. Se‑ cure building, private balcony, covered park‑ ing, newly remodeled, washer/dryer, easy ac‑ cess to public transpor‑ tation and supermar‑ kets. Please contact Matthew at 897-3123 for more information and appointment to view. Luxury Condo - $875 537 So 900 East, 2Bd/2Ba near UofU w/views of mtns & pool! Call Eric at 619 991-0404 mem‑ bers.cox.net/ejhome We’re Not your typ‑ ical uptight, cranky landlords. Short leas‑ es — great for skiers in town. Free high-speed wireless internet. Pet friendly, close to down‑ town, buses, highway and Utah Pride Center. 600 N. 200 W. 232‑2111. ­marmaladesquare.com Homes and apart‑ ments for rent in Salt Lake Valley, Ogden and Pleasant Grove. Call Clareo @ 801-487-9777 for more info. B e a u t i f u l ­r e m o d e l e d large 1bd/1ba apt. New floors, paint, ceiling fans, countertops etc. Clean and gorgeous! $500+dep. No pets/smoking. Call Stan 801-483-0708

Solutions Cryptogram, from p. 37

6 4 9 - 6 6 6 3 HOMES FOR SALE

West Valley. Perfect home for first time home buyer or investor. Brand new windows, newer roof, AC and bath. Large lot has tons of potential. Original hardwoods thru‑ out and under linoleum in kitchen. Possible RV parking on side of home. New counters in kitch‑ en, glass cook top stove. 3 bdrm 1 Bath, $155,000

modeled. Seller motivat‑ ed, will offer up to $1,000 for carpet allowance. 10.2 (6) released. $219,900.

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PETS FOR SALE

AKC Female Yorkie. 1st shot, wormed, Vac‑ cinated, 1 year health Guarantee cert. 16 wks, potty trained/house‑ broken. Adorable, cool with kids and other pets. De-wormed, fin‑

>Â?Â? gers trimmed, health Ă•Â?ˆiĂŠ-ˆÂ?Ă›iÂœĂ•Ăƒ certificate and vaccina‑ n䣰xäĂ“°{xäÇ Â˜ĂžVĂƒÂ?VĂˆnJĂž>…œœ°Vœ“ tion available. Interest‑ , ĂŠ i}>VÞÊ,i>Â?ĂŒÂœĂ€Ăƒ ed in Precious, contact Eric at preciouseric24@ yahoo.com.

MASSAGE Great starter at an affordable price. Best unit in complex. New‑ er paint and carpet. Crown moldings. Upper level. Nice amenities. Close to town and the airport. Additional stor‑ age off carport. 1601 W 400 South, Four Seasons Condominiums. $60,000.

Healing Hands Body and Energy Work by Christian

654-0175

christianallred.com Acupressure, Massage, Energy and Bodywork. Rainfor‑ est Haven Integrative Healing. Call for ap‑ pointment: 801‑519‑2313. Downtown Location. Sports Massage, DT studio, Male ther‑ apist call for appt. 801-573-6066

Massage Kneads. Full body massage tai‑ lored to your “kneads� 983‑4906 or visit me at www.hourofknead.com.

Pride Massage Your preference male or female therapist. Individuals, couples, groups. Warm, friend‑ ly, licensed profession‑ als. Call 486-5500 for an appointment. Open late 7 days a week. 1800 S West Temple. Energy Balancing and Massage by Don Adams LMT. Call 860-4623.

Dennis

Massage4Men Utah’s only physique print model & massage therapist. 583-8344. ­ dennismassage.com

THERAPISTS Deanna Rosen, LCSW. Individual and couples gay friendly therapy. Specialties in‑ clude unresolved family of origin issues, chemi‑ cal dependency and be‑ reavement. 288-1062.

MISC. P a r t i c i pa n t s sought for study on sexually suggestive material. If student, over 18, and openly gay/ lesbian, visit: www. psych.utah.edu/study/ appeal. Participation is compensated. UtahGayDate.com has free chat, an inter‑ active webzine, Dating Advice, and free pro‑ files. Join ­utahgaydate. com.

Queer TV. Comcast not giving you what you need? Sign up for DirecTV through this gay-owned and operated business. UtahSat.com Support Quality news in Utah’s gay and lesbian communi‑ ty. Advertise in QSalt‑ Lake and help build this valuable Utah resource. 801-856-5655

utahm4m.com

Advertise in the Q Classifieds! Starting at just $10. Call Today: 801-649-6663 800-840-7357 or qsaltlake.com

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“Love in most young men is not love but lust�

Anagram, from P. 37: Utah Bear Alliance

Crossword Solution, from p. 37

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We’re not your typical uptight, cranky landlords... Short leases - great for skiers in town. FREE highspeed wireless internet. Pet friendly, close to downtown, buses, highway, and Utah Pride Center.

600 N. 244 W. Office 118 • 801.232.2111 www.marmaladesquare.com

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M A R C H 16 , 2 0 0 7    I S S U E 74    Q S A LT L A K E    3 9

Q

e g a P k c a B Gay Chat on your Phone

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Tired of Shaving, Waxing, or Electro­lysis? ULTRA HAIR AWAY puts a permanent end to unwanted body hair.

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Queer TV

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Massage Kneads

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LESBIAN TEXT Chat Look for Lesbians with your phone. Join Now! 1 Free Week

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486-5500

1800 S. West Temple # A224

HEALING HANDS

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For advertising rates, Call 1-800-806-7357

Hot Rub’n Go’n On Dennis is Utah’s only physique print model & massage therapist. See why he is so well liked at ­­www.­dennismassage.com

(801) 598-8344

SUBSCRIBE TO QSaltLake Get a full year – 24 issues – for just $25 or 6 months for $15. Go to QSaltLake.com/subscribe or call 649-6663 today!

MALE RESEARCH

UUHSC Department of Andrology, University approved research. Wanted: healthy males between 18-40 years of age for male infertility research. Study requires medical history, semen collection and a blood draw. Compensation will be provided for your time and travel. Please call 587-3777 for an appointment.

Advertise on the Back Page and reach a highly-responsive market. Call 801-649-6663 and sign up today!

y t r a P y a D s ’ k c i r t a P t S 7 1 . r a M , y a d r u t Sa Corned Beef

Best dambnaegde in the valley! and Cab d r 3 e h t s t n e s e r P e c n ia ll A r a e B h a t U

r a e B h a t Mr. U test n o C b u C andpril 1 with Special Guest Kendall

March 30-A

L A N I F E 9 H 1 Monday March T GO N I B T U L S R E ht at bingo, B ig n e Y n o C in 0 0 5 $ ou raised As promised, since y N I E B L L I W GENE LUT DRAG S R E B Y C k— ay It’s like a train wrec ut you can’t look aw see, b to t n a w y ll a e r ’t n o d You

S E O R E m p H 8 t a g n ti r ta S s S T Monday N E M A Gay- and N R U O Q PERSONALS Lesbian-Friendly Tuesdays at 7pm DART T with ah-nold (A.J.)

utahgaydate.com

Find the love of your life, a roommate, someone to see movies with, or just have some fun at

businesses are listed online at TheQPages.com

Weekend Nights

s J D G N I L E DU nd DJ Dennis DJ BoySuTnodyays,aMondays

Weenies d e k a o S r e e B days, Fridays Saturdays,

Sundays, sTues $1 Draft

FREE WIRELESST INTERNE Come Chat,y Sip and Enjo

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