QSaltLake Magazine - August 01, 2007

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ay & Les Utah’s G

AUGUST 1, 2007

GA ZINE  A M T N E M NTERTAIN E & s w bian Ne

ISSUE 83

Salt Lake Mayoral Candidates Seek Gay Support Equality Utah and Planned Parenthood join forces at forum

Jones Won’t Appeal Custody Ruling Worries about setting precedent

Utah Man Moves to Reno, Plots Wife’s Murder Medical Report: Yasir Arafat Died of AIDS Ode to Tammy Faye

Researchers Find Gene that Slows AIDS Samsel Gives Coming Out Advice Across the Globe Ruby’s Cheese Battle The Gay Agenda

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Salt City Kings to Hold Auditions

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News

World and National

Medical Report: Yasir Arafat Died of AIDS

By Anthony Cuesta

A medical report from the French hospital where Yasir Arafat died in 2004 reveals that the late Palestinian leader actually died of AIDS, ending years of speculation that the cause of death was assassination.

According to the Jewish Press, Ahmed Jibril, the Damascusbased chief of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine, said in an interview with Hizbullah’s AlYasir Arafat Manar television that PA President Mahmoud Abbas and his team told him the French medical report listed AIDS as Arafat’s cause of death.

Israel Today reports that Jibril, like many Palestinians, readily accepted the notion that Israel had assassinated Ara-

fat, but the response from Abbas’ aides changed in an instant Jibril’s view of his deceased mentor.

“They were silent, and then one of them said to me: ‘To be honest, the French gave us the medical report that stated that the cause of [Arafat’s] death was AIDS,’” Israel Today reports Jibril saying. Arafat died Nov. 11, 2004, at a military hospital in Paris. The official cause of death was not released because French law prohibits distribution of medical records to anyone other than immediate family. A copy of Arafat’s medical report was obtained in 2005 by the PA as part of an internal investigation into Arafat’s death.

While Arafat was ill, according to the Jewish Press, there was some speculation that he was gay and dying of AIDS. Homosexuality is strictly forbidden by Islam.

Arafat’s wife, Suha, lived mostly abroad and rarely saw her husband. In a WorldNetDaily interview, James J. Welsh, the National Security Agency’s former chief analyst of Arafat’s communications, said

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the United States had specific information indicating that the Palestinian leader preyed on teenage boys.

“Arafat always had several 13–15-year old orphaned boys in his entourage. We figured out [in the 1970s while Arafat was based in Tunis] that he would often recall several of these boys to Beirut just before he would leave for a trip outside Lebanon.

It proved to be a good indicator of Arafat’s travel plans. While Arafat did have a regular security detail, many of those thought to be security personnel – the teenage boys – were actually there for other purposes,” Welsh said.

Hong Kong Rules Public Gay Sex Not Criminal

By Anthony Cuesta

Tokyo — On July 17, the highest court in Hong Kong decriminalized public anal sex between men in a ruling advocates are calling a victory for China’s gay rights movement.

A panel of five top judges unanimously ruled that two men, who acknowledged engaging in anal sex in a parked car, should not be subject to the country’s maximum penalty of five years in prison.

Chief Justice Andrew Li said in the ruling that the law targets homosexuals and “does not criminalize heterosexuals for the same or comparable conduct.”

The case was the first prosecution of the 1991 law.

After the two men challenged the charges, lower courts ruled in their favor, but the government appealed to Hong Kong’s Court of Final Appeal.

Director of Hong Kong Human Rights Monitor, Law Yuk-kai, called the judgment a “key blow” to the existing law and an “important milestone” for gay rights.

He told Hong Kong’s The Standard that the judgment fundamentally questioned the law for being discriminatory against homosexuals, and the appellant could not prove the reason for singling out gays in the ordinance, while the Basic Law guaranteed that everyone shall be equal before the law.

“In future, even though the law remains, the police would find it difficult to apply with the latest ruling,” Law said.

Society for Truth and Light, a conservative Christian group, called the verdict “regrettable” and “disappointing,” saying it has set a “dangerous precedent.”

“What the people are worried about is that indecent acts in public places are inappropriate,” said Choi Chi-sum, the group’s general secretary. “It’s not about whether hetero or homo sex is involved.

Whoever is involved in such acts should be punished and it shouldn’t become someone’s talisman.”

Quebec Groups Speak Out Against Anti-Gay Attack Montreal, Canada — Quebec gay rights groups have stepped up the fight against homophobia after a gay man was severely beaten in the provincial capital.

Philippe, who did not release his last name, said four men with shaved heads followed him after he left the Le Drague gay bar in downtown Quebec City on July 1.

After calling the 24-year-old man derogatory names, the assailants knocked him to the ground. In the less than 60-second attack, the men punched and kicked him repeatedly.

The victim spent two days in a hospital and doctors needed eight screws to reassemble his jaw.

“This man who was attacked is not alone. He has a community with him,” said Olivier Poulin, president of Gay, Les-

bian, Bisexual and Transgender Quebec.

Poulin said violent attacks are rare, but different forms of discrimination against gays and lesbians are ever-present.

He praised Philippe for coming forward with his story.

“He wanted to make sure other young people would not have to face attacks such as this,” said Poulin, who described the beating as “barbaric.”

Several gay-rights groups will hold a brunch to condemn homophobia during the city’s Labor Day weekend gay pride festival.

The event will be held at Place d’Youville, the site of the assault.

“It’s very symbolic to hold it a few steps from the [provincial] national assembly, a few steps from city hall and a few steps from where the young man was attacked,” said Poulin, who expects a significant display of solidarity at the brunch.

“We will be denouncing this act, but we will also show that there are many people who find [homophobia] unacceptable.”

Quebec City police told Le Soleil on July 13 that attacks against gays are “isolated” and there are no organized groups advocating homophobia or racism.

Meanwhile, Laurent McCutcheon of the gay rights group Emergence Foundation said Quebec is one of the world’s most open societies when it comes to homosexuality.

It’s his belief that about half of the province’s population “accepts” gays.

Intolerance is more of an attitude and rarely acted upon, he added.

“As a society, we have to denounce these situations,” he said of the beating.

“I hope we catch these people.”

McCutcheon said many crimes against gays go unreported because most victims are not ready to speak publicly about their homosexuality.

“These people will not file reports with police,” he said.

He said acceptance has to begin at home, in school and at the workplace. “To reduce homophobia, we need to educate the population,” he said. “People must take a position. I think everybody is capable of expressing themselves on this issue.”

Spanish Judge Denies Lesbian Parental Custody

By Anthony Cuesta

Madrid, Spain — A Spanish judicial watchdog group has announced its investigation of a judge who denied a lesbian mother custody of her two daughters.

Last month in the southeast region of Murcia, Judge Fernando Ferrin awarded the father custody, arguing that a homosexual environment threatened the girls’ education and upbringing.

“The mother has to choose between her daughters and the new partner,” Ferrin wrote in his June 6 ruling. “It is a homosexual atmosphere that harms minors and substantially increases the risk that they will turn that way, too.”

Ferrin’s decision goes against a 2005 law that legalized gay marriage and allowed gay couples to adopt.

In another case, Ferrin attempted to block a lesbian from adopting her partner’s daughter.

On July 23, 15 women’s and gay groups filed a complaint before the General Council of the Judiciary, which oversees Spain’s courts. The body said it was investigating.

Gays and lesbians in Spain benefit from some of Europe’s most liberal gay rights legislation following decades of repression under dictator Francisco Franco.

Homosexuality was legalized in 1979. In 2005, Spain became the third country in the world to legalize gay marriage. Q

Tammy Faye Messner Dies

By Anthony Cuesta

Kansas City, Kan. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Tammy Faye Messner, former wife of disgraced 1980s televangelist Jim Bakker and the subject of the 1996 documentary The Eyes of Tammy Faye, died of inoperable cancer on July 20. A long-time supporter of gay rights, she was 65.

Messner had battled colon cancer since 1996. More recently, the cancer spread to her lungs. She died peacefully at her home near Kansas City, Mo., said Joe Spotts, her manager and booking agent.

A family service was held on July 21 in a private cemetery, where her ashes were interred.

Messner revealed that she had been diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer during a March 2004 appearance on CNNâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Larry King Live. In a letter posted on her Web site in May, Messner said doctors had stopped treating her cancer and that her weight had dropped to 65 pounds. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Now,â&#x20AC;? she wrote, â&#x20AC;&#x153;itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s up to God and my faith.â&#x20AC;?

Messner and her second husband, building contractor Roe Messner, also appeared on Kingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s show the day before her death. The talk show host announced her death on his Saturday, July 21 show at the request of Messnerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s family. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The family appreciates all of the well wishes of so many people,â&#x20AC;? King said on CNN, the network which carries his show. â&#x20AC;&#x153;She wanted a party,â&#x20AC;? he added. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to schedule a party in two to three weeks in Palm Springs, Calif.

Her friends will be invited. And she wanted it to be a celebration.â&#x20AC;?

As Tammy Faye Bakker in the 1970s and â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s, Messner was known as â&#x20AC;&#x153;the first lady of televangelism,â&#x20AC;? a high-profile pioneer of the â&#x20AC;&#x153;electronic churchâ&#x20AC;? with Jim Bakkerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s television ministry The Jim and Tammy Show.

Bakkerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s downfall began in 1987 with the revelation that he had a one-time sexual encounter with a former church secretary, Jessica Hahn in 1980, and that $265,000 in ministry funds were later used to keep Hahn quiet.

In March 1987, the scandalized Jim Bakker resigned as president of the Praise The Lord ministry and turned it over to the Rev. Jerry Falwell. One month later, PTL filed for Chapter 11

bankruptcy protection. In the same year, Tammy Faye Bakker underwent treatment for an addiction to prescription drugs at the Betty Ford Center.

In 1989, Jim Bakker was convicted on federal charges of fraud and conspiracy to defraud of $158 million. While Bakker was in prison, his wife divorced him. He

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Tammy Faye Messner in April, 2005 after announcing she was battling her third battle with lung cancer.

was released in 1994 for good behavior.

After three decades of marriage they had two children, Tammy Sue and Jamie.

Along with her active singing career, Messner was known as one of only a few evangelical Christian televangelists who supported gays and lesbians. On her show, she reached out to people with AIDS in the early 1980s, when it was still largely considered a â&#x20AC;&#x153;gay disease.â&#x20AC;? She also appeared at several Gay Pride festivals across the country singing, judging drag contests and always giving hugs.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m trying to educate parents and the Christian world and tell them, [gays and lesbians] are wonderful people, allow them to be in your church, love them,â&#x20AC;?

Messner said in a June 2002 interview with the Washington, D.C. gay news magazine Metro Weekly. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be so judgmental. Christians are so judgmental and as a result of that they become very cruel. When I go and stand among those gay men and women, I tell them, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I am a preacher of the gospel that loves you.

And I accept you just the way you are.â&#x20AC;? I cry when I say that, but I mean that with all of my heart. Somebodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s got to love them and accept them. And somebody who loves God has got to love them and accept them because so many of them really love God, too.â&#x20AC;? Q

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Transgender Woman Sues IRS Over Sex Reassignment Surgery Claim Lesbian Advocates & Defenders, said the deductions are legitimate because gender-identity disorder is not only a recognized mental disorder, but one that is routinely treated with surgery and hormone therapy. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Every mental health textbook and medical dictionary recognizes the legitimacy of both the diagnosis and course of treatment,â&#x20AC;? Levi told the Associated Press.

Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Donnabhain said that the case is largely a matter of principle. Although she said she could have returned her $5,000 tax refund (out of the $25,000 she paid out of pocket for the treatment), she chose to sue in hopes that the IRS will change its policies on sex-reassignment surgery. â&#x20AC;&#x153;This goes way beyond money,â&#x20AC;? she said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;If I were to give the money back, it would be saying itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s OK for you to do this to me. It is not OK for them to do this to me or anyone like me.â&#x20AC;?

Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Donnabhain v. Commissioner of Internal Revenue went to trial on July 24.

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Boston â&#x20AC;&#x201D; A transgender woman is suing the Internal Revenue Service for refusing to let her claim her sex reassignment surgery as a deductible medical expense on her federal income tax return.

In 1996 Rhiannon Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Donnabhain was diagnosed with gender identity disorder.

She undertook a course of professionally prescribed medical treatments that included her 2001 sex reassignment surgery. The IRS denied the claim, calling the surgery â&#x20AC;&#x153;cosmeticâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; on par with procedures such as hair transplants and teeth whitening.

In a similar 2005 case, the IRS ruled that the costs of a womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gender reassignment surgery and all related treatments could not be deducted. In the decision, the IRS sited a section of the U.S. tax code that says cosmetic surgeries are deductible only when they are needed to fix a congenital abnormality, damage caused by an accident or a disfiguring disease.

Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Donnabhainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lawyer, Jennifer Levi, an attorney with Boston-based Gay &

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News

N.J. Gov. Urges UPS To Offer Same-Sex Partner Benefits

BY ANTHONY CUESTA

NEWARK, N.J. — On July 20, New Jersey Gov. Jon S. Corzine urged the United Parcel Service, Inc. to grant benefits to married employees’ same-sex partners under the state’s civil union law.

The company is one of many that gay rights advocates say isn’t treating gay employees and their partners the same as straight married employees and their spouses despite a state law requiring employers to do so.

UPS has said the New Jersey law doesn’t apply to its union employees because the company’s employee benefits are governed by federal law.

Corzine said the company should change its policies anyway.

“Surely, as a company with a long-standing commitment to its employees and the community, UPS would not want to make its employees and their families face these difficult choices based on the subtleties of the interaction of federal and state law,” Corzine wrote in a letter to the company.

UPS does provide full benefits for gay administrative employees who aren’t covered by union contracts.

UPS spokesman Norman Black told the Star-Ledger that the company had “no ability to comment on the letter because the governor’s office decided to release it to the press” before it was sent to the

National Briefs company’s Atlanta headquarters.

In principle, Black added, UPS wants to extend health benefits to partners in civil unions. The problem, however, is that federal labor law says a legally binding contract cannot be changed until both sides agree to a new pact.

Lambda Legal, a gay advocacy law organization, initiated a legal process to force UPS to offer the benefits to couples in New Jersey on behalf of two couples.

“It’s quite a governor who reaches out to help a couple families like this,” Lambda lawyer David Buckel said. “We don’t know if we’ll get a letter from the governor for each family and each company.”

Oregon Judge Rules in Favor of Same-Sex Parenting Rights

BY ANTHONY CUESTA

PORTLAND, ORE. — On July 13, an Oregon judge ruled that same-sex couples deserve the same parental rights as straight couples.

Last year, Jeana Frazzini, 34, sued the state after her name was stricken from the birth certificate of the baby of her lesbian partner, K.D. Parman, 32.

Married fathers — even those whose wives become pregnant through artificial insemination, as Parman did — get legal parental rights automatically. The couple argued that they were unfairly denied that privilege because of their inability to marry.

In his ruling, Multnomah County Circuit Judge Eric J. Bloch wrote that the state constitution bars denying privileges to one class of citizens if they are given to another. He also said the domestic partnership law, which takes effect Jan. 1, will give Frazzini legal parental status.

“We’re thrilled by Judge Bloch’s decision,” Parman told the Associated Press.

“Our family is really no different from any other family. We simply want to be treated fairly under the law.”

The ruling follows two major victories for gay rights advocates in Oregon. This spring the state legislature passed laws to ban discrimination against gays in work and housing, and to give same-sex couples most state benefits of marriage through legal domestic partnerships.

But the couple and the gay rights support group backing them say a signaturecollection effort is already under way to delay and ultimately overturn the law.

“We now know that delaying or overturning Oregon’s Domestic Partnership law would not only hurt many children and families, it could precipitate a constitutional crisis,” said John Hummel, executive director of Basic Rights Oregon, a grassroots group dedicated to ending discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity in the state.

A group called Defense of Marriage and Family, AGAIN! and its supporters must collect 55,179 signatures by Sept. 26 to refer the law to the ballot. If they succeed, the measure will be suspended until the November 2008 election.

If voters reject the law, then Frazzini will be left without the parental status that the court ruled she is entitled. It’s unclear what would happen then, said Mark Johnson, an attorney helping to represent Frazzini and Parman.

Researchers Locate Genes That Could Slow The Spread of HIV

BY DYLAN VOX

WASHINGTON — A study that appeared in Science magazine on July 19 announced that scientists have identified three genes that help some HIV-infected people slow down the spread of the virus and postpone the onset of AIDS. This new information may help doctors to develop a vaccine and drugs to help prevent and fight off the HIV virus.

The international team of researchers scanned the genomes of 486 HIV-infected people and identified variations in the three genes that may help the immune systems of some people control the virus.

Senior author of the study, David Goldstein, a professor of molecular genetics at Duke University, explained, “There are new mechanisms of control of HIV1 that are implicated by these findings. We don’t yet know how to capitalize on those new mechanisms to develop new treatments, but it establishes directions for exploring new treatment options.”

AIDS is currently an incurable disease where the virus damages the immune system. But before the virus has time to cause full-blown AIDS, the body wages a battle against the disease by creating key immune cells to try to prevent HIV from multiplying out of control.

By identifying these specific genes and isolating them, the researchers hope they can recreate the effects at a much higher level and create an effective HIV vaccine.

The gene called HLA-C does not appear to shut down when infected by HIV the study states and, therefore, it appears to be a rather good potential vaccine target. Q

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Local News

Candidates Reach Out to Gays

by Michael Aaron

michael@qsaltlake.com

Hotel Monaco was host to a Salt Lake City mayoral candidate forum July 11, cosponsored by Equality Utah and Planned Parenthood of Utah, attracting five of the eight candidates and over 100 spectators.

The organizations asked the candidates to speak for eight minutes and answer two questions: Would you continue Anderson’s tradition of flying the rainbow gay pride flag above the City-County Building during the city’s yearly Utah Pride Festival? And would you push to make Salt Lake part of the Pro-Choice Cities campaign, which encourages municipal resolutions voicing support for reproductive rights?

Rep. Ralph Becker “Salt Lake City, I believe, is on the verge of becoming a great American city,” said Utah State Rep. Ralph Becker, Democrat and Minority Leader of the Utah State House of Representatives. “And no great American city will be true to that label without placing at the top of its agenda treating all people equally and establishing justice to every member of its community.”

Becker noted that the Utah State Legislature has passed limitations on what city governments can address in local laws.

“But that does not mean, in my mind, that we cannot do great things in Salt Lake City to further the cause … of human rights,” he said.

Becker recently released what he called his “Universal Human Rights Initiative,” available on his Web site, ralphbecker.com.

Among what he calls “concrete proposals” are: “We’re looking at transforming the Office of Diversity,” he said “ to the Office of Human Rights and really expand and enhance that entire operation within city government.”

“I think we should be implementing a nondiscrimination municipal ordinance with enumerates all of the protected classes that would cover housing, employment, public accommodation and city activities,” he continued.

“We should require that all companies that contract with Salt Lake City adhere to a nondiscrimination ordinance and have that as part of their employment policies.

“We should also champion and put forward a real hate crimes ordinance. Not just what we have at the state that’s just an enhanced penalty during sentencing, but that establishes a very clear policy that hate crimes will not be condoned in Salt Lake City.

“I think that in working with the school board, we should be establishing policies that really place a strong premium on preventing bullying in the schools and equal access for all students, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

“In the city, I think we need to have a policy that establishes a city registry,” Becker stated. “I think that will define clear standards … for what establishes a domestic partnership.”

Becker mentioned the upcoming screening of “Freehold” “the need for us to make sure the city’s retirement policy

allows an employee to name a domestic partner as a beneficiary.”

All of these proposals can be accomplished within existing law in Utah … to take us many steps forward.

Dave Buhler Current Salt Lake City Councilman Dave Buhler, a Republican, touted many of his accomplishments in his eight-year tenure in the city council.

“I crafted the ordinance to provide fair benefits for all city employees, including gay and lesbian partners – the first government in Utah to do so – and I’m very proud of that,” he said. “And this is not an easy battle. After we passed the city ordinance, [former state Rep.] LaVar Christensen … sponsored a bill in the house that would have gutted it. I personally went up and lobbied the senate to get that portion of the bill taken out.

“I supported the anti-discrimination ordinance, I supported creating a human rights commission, and I joined the battle to strengthen our city ethics ordinance,” he continued. “My approach to this job is that I’m a doer and not a crusader.”

On the issue of the pride flag flying during the Pride Festival: “I can support that, but we need to make sure we put a careful policy in place,” Buhler said. “If we don’t do that, if we don’t have a careful policy, we can turn that flag pole into a free speech forum. I’d hate to drive by and see a swastika flying from that flag pole.”

Keith Christensen Former Salt Lake City Councilman Keith Christensen had renounced the Republican Party the previous week, saying he eschews labels and the social conservativeness of Republican leadership in the state.

“In issues of equality, come on – Rosa Parks had to sit in the back of the bus for a horrific reason, God I hope we’re through with those days,” Christensen said. “But let me tell you, if she had not refused to sit in the back of the bus, I’m not sure we’d be where we are today.”

“I’ve personally made mistakes. Remember, I came from Delta,” he quipped.

“I voted against an anti-discrimination ordinance because I didn’t think it went far enough. I believed it should include ethnicity and gender and some other things.

If I had it in front of me today, I’d certainly vote for it. I’d take that bite of the apple. And then I’d take it and try to add those other things. Because I firmly believe there is discrimination, unfortunately, in our society against all of those things. Equality based on sexual orientation, based on gender, and based on ethnicity and based upon some other things we can think of if we want to,” he explained. “I feel passionately about these things.”

“The flag is no issue for me. It’s easy,” he continued. “You’re renting, or occupying if you will, that great square and Rocky has done the right thing. I will continue to do as he has done.”

JP Hughes Republican colorectal surgeon J.P. Hughes spoke mostly on the race itself and little about gay and lesbian issues, but responded to the Equality Utah

question of the pride flag with, “Why not? Why would it just be for the people here? Why not one for Cinco de Mayo?

Why can’t it be a flag that would rotate all through the year and there can be three flag-poles there that would reflect what’s going on in the community?”

Jenny Wilson Salt Lake County Commissioner Jenny Wilson, a Democrat, started off by answering the question on the pride flag with, “Absolutely. I think it is the right thing to do.”

Wilson shared a story of a coworker whose partner was diagnosed with AIDS. “There was a lot of fear in that era, and a lot of pain,” she explained. “That particular instance really defined my advocacy for gay issues.”

“As mayor, I would advance issues for the LGBT community with the same commitment focus and dedication I worked on them in Salt Lake County,” she continued. “I will establish an LGBT coordinator in city hall. I will continue to support the incredible pride festival each year.

It takes city coordination to pull that off and make it a success.

“I’ll also work to ensure that compa-

nies doing business with the city will not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation and extend their employee benefits to their gay and lesbian partners.

“I will ensure that the city recognizes partnerships and extends them to equal status to the greatest extent of the law.

“And I’ll listen, consider and develop new proposals to make Salt Lake City a more fair and just place,” she finished.

The primary election will take place Sept. 11, bringing the race down to two candidates. A current poll released by Dan Jones and Associates, conducted for Deseret Morning News and KSL-TV, show Wilson in the lead with 23 percent of the vote, Buhler with 19 percent, Becker and Christensen with 13 percent and Hughes with two percent. Twenty-six percent are undecided and Dan Jones claims a five percent error margin.

Candidates John Renteria, Quinn McDonaugh, Rainer Huck and Robert Muscheck were no-shows at the forum.

The Dan Jones poll shows each at one percent or less of the potential vote.

Muscheck, who entered the race stating he was a “proud homophobe,” had a zero percent showing in the poll. Q

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1 0  Q S A LT L A K E  I S S U E 8 3  A U G U S T 1, 2 0 0 7

Local News

Jones Won’t Appeal Custody Decision

BY JOSELLE VANDERHOOFT JOSELLE@QSALTLAKE.COM

Serving the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender community.

The plaintiff in a landmark Utah custody case involving a lesbian and her former partner has said she will not appeal to the nation’s highest court because she is concerned that a Supreme Court ruling could threaten the rights of non-biological parents across the country.

“My fear is that it would just cause a bigger problem,” plaintiff Keri Jones said in a July 20 interview with local NPR affiliate KCPW’s “Midday Metro” program.

In 2004, Jones, manager of programs and administration for Equality Utah, sued her former partner, Cheryl Barlow, for the right to visit the daughter born during the course of their three-year relationship. Barlow, the biological parent, no longer wanted Jones to see the girl after she became a born-again evangelical Christian and stopped identifying as lesbian. The Third Circuit Court ruled that Barlow had visitation rights and child support obligations under the common-law doctrine of in loco parentis (Latin for “in place of a parent”) — meaning that Jones had rights to the child because she had held a parental role in the child’s life. But the state supreme court overturned the ruling in February. The high court ruled that Utah law did not give nonbiological parents — including same-sex partners — that right. To Jones’ horror, her case set a precedent which some biological parents are now using to cut their former same-sex partners out of their children’s lives.

And Jones said she fears the Supreme Court may agree with Utah’s high court.

“The federal court is not swayed toward our side,” Jones continued. “Just imagine what it did on the local level to the

families below me. Having that kind of ruling on a national level would be horrific. The whole thing is probably just not a good idea.”

Until the legal climate becomes less hostile to non-biological parents in same-sex relationships, Jones said she is trying to help these parents on a local and national level. Currently, she said she is in touch with seven non-biological mothers from a number of states who have been separated from their children. Four of these mothers reside in Utah. According to Jones, two have cases in lower courts and two are waiting to see what happens in another nonbiological parent’s case, that of Gina Herrera, before filing suit. Herrera, who was also interviewed on the July 20 KCPW program, is currently seeking visitation rights to her five-year-old daughter from her former partner, Hollii Whiting.

“Because the [Jones v. Barlow] ruling was so bad, it became a threat,” Jones explained. “We’re hearing stories all the time of bio moms threatening their non-biological partners [with cutting off visitation rights]. It makes me furious that they could use such an awful thing against their partners.”

To ensure that non-biological mothers have some protection against the Jones v. Barlow ruling, Jones advises them to take all the steps they can to ensure that their rights as parents are upheld. In Utah, this means setting up contracts, such as wills, estates and co-parenting agreements.

“It sounds terrible, but you really need to think about protecting yourself from your partner,” she said. “You don’t think you need to, but the documents should be in place in case you ever need to do that.” Q

Man Offers Money to Have Wife Killed August 26, 2007

Stonebridge Golf Course Continental Breakfast, 18 holes of golf with cart Ditty bags, Prizes, Raffle and Lunch for all participants Online registration at www.utahpridecenter.org Contact Jennifer at 801.539.8800 x13 jennifer@utahpridecenter.org Sponsorship opportunities available.

An American Fork man, who moved in the last few weeks to Carson City, Nev. to live with his boyfriend, was arrested July 24 on charges of attempting to hire a man to kill his wife, police said.

James Gau, 50, had been asking a man for weeks to kill his wife, giving him her address and a photo of her and their six children, Reno Sgt. Dave Evans told the Reno Gazette-Journal.

“With their pending divorce and splitting of the property, he just felt it was easier for her to die than to go through a divorce,” Evans said.

According to Evans, Gau met the man — who had tipped off police — in a Reno parking lot and asked him to not kill his wife at the home, but make it look like a robbery. He also allegedly wanted the man to break her neck to avoid blood.

“It appears he wanted to make his life easier and get on with his new lifestyle,” Evans said. “He had no regard for his wife or his children. It seemed like he just wanted to get this thing done and

was more concerned with his social life.”

Gau told the man he would pay him a couple thousand dollars from his wife’s life insurance, Evans said.

According to detectives, Gau moved to Nevada several weeks ago to live with his boyfriend after separating with his wife and telling her he was gay. Evans said Gau had told several people in the area he would pay them to kill his wife.

FBI agents were watching Sheryl Gau’s home on July 24 after she was told of the plot before her husband’s arrest.

“For some reason, people think they can tell multiple people of their plan to kill their spouses and that they’re going to get away with it,” Evans said. “It’s amazing.”

While in Utah, Gau worked for Textile Care Services, a subsidiary of Sunstone Hotel Investors. After moving to Carson City, he became general manager of Mission Industries linen supply store. His son, also named James, lives in Carson City and was married June 22.

Utah AIDS Foundation Announces Health Summit

One of several groups of participants in QSaltLake’s Lagoon Day poses for one of our photographers at the event.

A Gay Day to Be at Lagoon Discount coupons will be available Aug. 1 for QSaltLake’s fourth annual Lagoon Day, a gathering for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community members, their friends, family and allies on Sunday, Aug. 19. Coupons save you $6.45 over regular ride passport prices and will be available at Club Try-Angles and Cafe Marmalade at the Utah Pride Center. Seniors over 65 and toddlers 3 and under may get an entranceonly passport at no charge.

Participants are asked to wear red T-shirts and join QSaltLake staff and friends for a bring-your-own barbecue any time during the day in the Pine terrace (east of the miniature golf course and north of the Lagoon A Beach entrance) and a group photo at 6 p.m. on the steps in front of Dracula’s Castle.

In past years, hundreds of red shirts flood the midway, making it a welcoming atmosphere.

New this year is the Wicked roller coaster — featuring 2000 feet of track

and 55-mile-per-hour speeds. Riders are propelled to the top of the 110-foot-tall tower at 41 miles-per-hour rather than slowly lifted like other coasters. Riders are strapped in by the legs, leaving the upper body to experience all the g-forces the ride can offer.

Lagoon’s Terroride and Dracula’s Castle have been refashioned with new frights, spooks and other surprises.

Terroride was built in 1967 and had remained largely untouched since.

Lagoon A Beach admission is included in the ride passport. The six-acre water park has a huge pool, several enclosedtube runs and a seven-story water slide.

Glass containers, including alcohol, are allowed only in the pavilion.

Q-Day at Lagoon is an unofficial one, similar to Gay Days at Disney, where the park owners are not involved in sanctioning, promoting or organizing the event. —MA For directions visit lagoonpark.com.

Salt City Kings to Hold Auditions AIDS and cancer funds as well as an annual April fundraiser to benefit the Rape Recovery Center.

According to LiQue, the kings also do “everything they can” for individuals in the local gay and lesbian community.

“We can evaluate individual situations and figure out the best way to help,” he said.

Those who audition are asked to bring a drag outfit, a song performance of at least three and a half minutes and a drag name. They will also need to fill out an application.

For tips on costumes and facial hair, LiQue recommends Midwest drag king Dante DiFranco’s Web site (­dantedifranco.com). He added, however, that performance, and not costume, is the most important part of the audition, as is the performer’s attitude and his reasons for wanting to perform with the Kings.

“We don’t like to dress people up for auditions. We want to see how they come to the audition,” she said.

Accepted performers will be put on a 60-day trial period before the Kings vote on their membership.

Paper Moon is located at 3737 So. State St. Auditions begin promptly at 6 p.m.

For more than 25 years, gay men have measured their health with an HIVcentric frame of mind. Today, however, HIV is no longer necessarily considered a terminal illness. While HIV remains a primary concern for many gay men, the Village Summit will broaden the notion of health beyond HIV status with a holistic approach to gay men’s health.

The Village Summit’s aim is to advance the gay men’s health movement locally. For more information and to register visit ugmh.com or call Jeremiah Hansen at 487-2323 or 800-865-5004.

The Village Summit is a program of the Utah AIDS Foundation. —JV

Police Chief Apologizes for Gay Gun Activist’s Ejection from Pride

Annual Golf Tournament to Raise Funds for The Center

On July 17, Police Chief Chris Burbank apologized personally to longtime gay leader David Nelson for the actions of Lt. Rusty Isakson, who ejected Nelson from the Utah Pride Festival in June for possessing an unconcealed firearm, according to Nelson. Nelson also said Burbank commended his understanding of the applicable laws and pursuit of a reasonable resolution, and promised that more instruction about the laws would be required of all officers.

After being ejected, Nelson filed a complaint with Burbank against Isakson for “violating state laws which prohibit ‘a local authority [from enforcing] any ordinance, regulation, rule or policy pertaining to firearms that in any way inhibits or restricts the possession or use of firearms on either public or private property.’”

“My complaint was only the first step,” Nelson said. “City Division of Parks and Recreation staffers are also investigating this matter. I’ll pursue appropriate solutions of my complaints against the event organizers and their security staffers.”

Meanwhile, Nelson filed a $25,000 claim against Salt Lake City Corp. about the matter in which he described Isakson’s actions as “facially unlawful and tortious in their violation of my constitutional, civil and legal rights pursuant to the U.S. Constitution, the Utah Constitution and Utah laws 63-98-102 and 76-10-500, and willful misconduct of [Isakson’s] professional duties and ethics.” —JV

The Utah Pride Center will hold its Golf Classic Fundraiser on Sunday, Aug. 26 at Stonebridge Golf Club, located at 4415 West Links Drive in West Valley City.

The annual tournament, which raises money for the center, is in its eighth year. It regularly attracts well-known local community members and allies, including television personalities and politicians. Golfers of all ability levels are welcome to participate.

To register, visit utahpridecenter.org.

Players may register up to four team mates.

Paper Moon, a local private club for members, will hold a pre-party on Aug. 24 from 7:00 p.m. – 11:00 p.m. Tickets are $10.

Paper Moon is located at 3737 So. State St. For directions to Stonebridge Golf Club, visit golfstonebridgeutah.com.

The Village Holds Gay Movie Night at the Tower Theatre On Aug. 9, the Tower Theatre will screen two gay interest films as part of Gay Movie Night, an event sponsored by The Village, part of the Utah AIDS Foundation.

The main film will be the award-winning 2000 camp white trash comedy Sordid Lives, starring Olivia Newton-John as a small-town lesbian. The local short Reflections of Clay, which follows two gay parents trying to raise a daughter who thinks she’s Satan, will also be shown.

The screening will start at 7:00 p.m.

There will also be an after party. —JV For more information, contact Jeremiah Hansen at jeremiah.hansen@utahaids.org.

Rocky Attends D.C. Diversity Conference On July 18, Salt Lake City Mayor Rocky Anderson addressed members of a national diversity organization about the importance of diversity in business and government and the strides Salt Lake City has taken in becoming more diverse under his leadership at an event designed around the release of new diversity statistics.

In his speech, Anderson used the example of a book club he formed to illustrate the importance of diversity on all levels of society. His book club contained several individuals whose backgrounds differed from his, including a female Hispanic educator, a Catholic physical therapist and a lesbian playwright.

“Like a book club comprised of people with unique and widely varying life stories, a community is sustained by the diverse, unique experiences and contributions of its members,” he told members of Diversity Best Practices, a national organization devoted to teaching business and community leaders about diversity. “Maintaining a successful, thriving

community requires that we unite in common cause, in pursuit of our common values, while incorporating and respecting the valuable perspectives each one of us brings to the table. We can achieve little without the insights and creativity that our differences make possible.”

At the event, Diversity Best Practices unveiled statistics about diversity trends in America in 2007. The statistics, called the 2007 WOW! Facts, included the following information about gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Americans: • Gay and lesbian buying power reached $660 million in 2006. The market is set to exceed $835 billion by 2011.

Overall ad spending in gay and lesbian publications reached $212.2 million in 2005, an increase of 28.4 percent over the year before.

• Only 82 Fortune 500 companies have a written non-discrimination policy that includes “gender identity or gender expression.” 254 Fortune 500 companies do offer domestic partner health benefits. —JV

A u g u s t 1, 2 0 0 7  I SSU E 8 3  Q S A LT L A K E  11

On Aug. 5, the Salt City Kings, a sixmember lesbian drag troupe, will hold auditions for seven new drag kings at Paper Moon, the club that serves as their home base. This is the first opencall audition in the organization’s six-year history.

“We see ourselves as a bridge between drag queens and lesbians,” said Sean LiQue, Salt Lake City Kings co-founder. “We Sean LiQue have a lot of fun and we don’t like bad attitude — we’re not just a group, we’re a family.”

Founded in 2002 under the informal name “Salt City Boys,” the Salt City Kings is a volunteer organization which performs drag shows to raise money for charities. In addition to their Paper Moon performances, they have performed in Long Beach, Calif., Boise, Idaho and at several Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire events. Their charitable work also includes donations to the RCGSE’s

Gay men’s health will be the focus of The Village Summit, a weekend retreat to be held at the Jewish Community Center Aug. 24–26. Formerly known as “Invenio” and now in its sixth year, the revamped event is back with a new name, location and format.

Organizers plan to “enGAYge” participants’ minds, bodies and souls with compelling workshops addressing a full range of topics. Discussions on love and relationships, sexuality, political activism, spirituality and nutrition will accompany good food and social events, all designed to enhance participants’ knowledge and ability to make healthy life choices.

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Opinion

Letters Totally Puzzled Editor, Just as I do every other Thursday, I sat down with a pencil in one hand and a copy of the July 16 issue of QSaltLake in the other with eager anticipation to work out the crossword puzzle. At first, I was stumped on a few of the easier clues like ‘Rita Mae’s cat’, which is Sneaky Pie, but the puzzle indicated only four letter so I filled in “Puss,” Next I went to “They’re good for tricks,” and the only answer that would fit was “male escort.”

I could tell it wasn’t going well when I got to “Where truckers park their bottoms” and the only thing that would fit was “Gearshift.” It finally dawned on me that the puzzle didn’t match the clues when I tried to fill in 41-Down “Enjoy phone sex” and found there was no 41Down in the puzzle. Now, I’m all about the puzzles being “difficult,” but this is ridiculous. I hope this matter is rectified in the next issue — I don’t want to come across a clue like “Stands at attention” and the only world that will fit is “nipple.”

Theo Sims Salt Lake City [Editor’s note: I was worried when I realized we had updated the crossword puzzle graphic, but inadvertently left the previous month’s clues that we would be thrashed to pieces. Messing up a word or two in a story pales in comparison, to some, with messing up their crossword.

We apologize profusely to those whose days were ruined by the mishap. We will pay more attention to our nipples from here on out.]

QSaltLake welcomes letters from our readers.

Please email your letter of under 300 words to ­letters@qsaltlake.com. Include your name, city and contact info for verification.

From the Editor Will ‘Ex-Gay’ Soon be ‘Ex-SSA?’

by Michael Aaron michael@qsaltlake.com

I don’t think the people of Utah have a complete understanding of how involved the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is in the so-called “ex-gay” movement.

While at a recent press conference concerning Evergreen International, the Utah-based “nonprofit organization that helps people who want to diminish same-sex attractions and overcome homosexual behavior,” according to their Web site, there was question on the Mormon Church’s role in the group. One man was vehement that the church had no role in it ... because he’d been told so by an Evergreen member.

Well, riddle me this. I was told during an interview with one of the leaders of the St. George chapter of Evergreen that he and his wife were “called” by the church to serve as its leaders. That is far from a handoff approach to the organization.

At its conference coming up in September, Second Quorum of the Seventy Elder Douglas L. Callister will serve as the “General authority speaker at the 17th Annual Evergreen conference.” Thirteen other church leaders are listed on their Web site as being former keynote speakers or frequent presenters.

The event, by the way, will be held at the LDS Church-owned Joseph Smith Memorial Building. Hey ... isn’t the “free speech zone” right by that building?

Their board of trustees includes one or more emeritus general authorities of the church, currently L. Lionel Kendrick and James O. Mason. LDS Author Larry Richman is chair of the board.

So, saying that Evergreen is not affiliated with the LDS Church is quiet a stretch. No, I haven’t dug into their IRS records to find a money trail directly to the

church, but with all this, does it matter?

But LDS Church involvement doesn’t end with Evergreen. They are now in the process of taking over the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality — NARTH for short.

Pro-exgay pundit and college professor Warren ­Throckmorton reported in November: “NARTH has had some changes in recent days. A. Dean Byrd, PhD, CEO of the LDS affiliated Thrasher Research Fund was appointed President-elect of NARTH and I heard through a friend who attended the conference that David Pruden, Executive Director of Evergreen International, was appointed Executive Director of NARTH. Dr. Byrd (ProCon bio) is also a clinical professor in the medical school at the University of Utah and was formerly the Director of Clinical Training for the LDS Social Services. No word on when Dr. Byrd’s term will begin.”

According to the NARTH Web site, that change has yet to happen.

The new “ex-gay for pay” poster boy being thrown around the country has also revealed that he has converted to the Mormon Church earlier this year.

Michael Glatze is being touted on the ex-gay circuit as being a “gay rights leader” who has become straight.

His “leader” role comes from his failed attempt to start a magazine for queer youth called Young Gay America.

They published four issues in 2004 before going belly-up.

Now 25 and recently “divorced” from his first real partner in life, Glatze has shunned homosexuality, calling it “mere pornography.” “There is no homosexual ‘desire’ that is apart from lust,” he wrote for the ultraconservative World Net Daily.

Ultra-conservatives are clamoring to Glatze as they have dug up another “ex-gay success story.” But when they found out that he had been baptized in the LDS Church, they suddenly shrink back. It has been quite comedic to watch.

The Christian Post initially wrote a long, glowing article on July 5 titled, “Leading Gay Rights Activist Comes Out of Homosexuality, Tells His Story.” After revelations of his conversion, they ran another story, “Ex-Gay Success Story Not a Mormon Success Story,” distancing any of Glatze’s “success” from the Mormon

Church. Then they clarified that story with: “An editorial on Monday, July 16, 2007, about the debate over a former gay rights activist’s ‘coming out’ story originally stated that ‘believers should be more concerned about Michael Glatze returning to homosexuality than him joining the Mormon church.’ To clarify, the editorial staff at The Christian Post would like to first of all affirm that it does not view homosexuality as more perverse than Mormonism, despite the wording of the original statement. Furthermore, while Glatze’s ties to the Mormon church will undoubtedly be a problem with eternal consequences if he chooses to remain.”

As you can see, the Mormon Church has an uphill battle in its efforts to control all things ex-gay — especially when evangelicals aren’t sure which is worse — to be gay or to be Mormon.

Though the church recently amended its position on the cause of homosexuality (or in their favorite terms “same sex attraction” or “SSA”), Evergreen remains strident in its archaic claims of nurture being its cause.

In its pamphlet “What Bishops Need to Know About Men with SSA,” they write that “The root of this problem usually lies in childhood.”

“The man usually feels that he was abandoned by his father, either physically, emotionally, or both. This abandonment occurred at a very young age, perhaps before the age of three. When a child is first born, he or she does not recognize himself as separate from his mother. He cries if she is out of sight. Eventually, the child comes to recognize that he is separate from his mother. But a boy has another transition to make. He must also recognize that not only is he separate from his mother, he is different from his mother, and like his father,” the pamphlet continues.

When I read the statement released by the LDS Church last fall on the shift of thought on homosexuality, I was heartened that perhaps church leaders were on their way and opening themselves to dialog. But as time has gone on and we can see several months of fallout, it appears things are just going on as usual. In fact, it seems that the church is stepping up its role in the ex-gay movement.

So what are we going to do about it? Q

Guest Editorial Touched by Tammy Faye

By Dylan Vox

happy with themselves whoever they are, to persevere in the face of opposition and to show each other unconditional love.â&#x20AC;?

For Tammy Faye those sentiments were not rhetoric, they were truth.

On July 20, 2007, Tammy Faye lost her ongoing battle with cancer and died in her home. At 65 years old this woman of God had accomplished and endured more than most people could fill in two lifetimes. She laughed in the face of defeat, and forgave those who had done wrong by her. It is that spirit and sensitivity that will be carried on, and hopefully will be remembered by those whose lives she touched. I know that God is in good company now. Thank you Tammy Faye, and Good-bye.â&#x20AC;&#x201A; Q

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A u g u s t 1, 2 0 0 7 ď Ž â&#x20AC;&#x201A; I SSU E 8 3 ď Ž â&#x20AC;&#x201A; Q S A LT L A K E ď Ž â&#x20AC;&#x201A; 13

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Honey, God loves everybody. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s human beings who mess things up,â&#x20AC;? Tammy Faye Messner said to me as she placed her tiny frail hand in mine to give it a squeeze as we walked out of the movie theater. It was the premiere of her new documentary, which explored her life and recounted her battle with cancer.

The words that she spoke in her high pitched Minnesota drawl were so simple, and yet, carried so much meaning. To Tammy Faye, all man was created equal no matter what their color, religion, gender or sexual orientation, and in her mind, not only was she not to judge other people, she was to accept them they way that God intended.

Tammy Faye Messner didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t judge people because she had walked in their shoes. Throughout her life she had been ridiculed, persecuted, made fun of and had been the butt of jokes. The joke, however, was on those who could not see past the wigs and pounds of makeup to the heart of an extraordinary woman who lived her life as best she could, mistakes and all, and gave people hope, enjoyment and enlightenment.

Tammy Faye was born in International Falls, Minnesota to Pentecostal preachers Carl and Rachel Fairchild LaValley.

The eldest of eight children, Tammy Faye was drawn to the church early in life and the choir began to nurture her passion for singing. During her college years, she met her soon to be husband Jim Bakker, who attended North Central Bible College and had plans to become a minister.

The couple was soon married and moved to the South where they were founding members off the 700 Club with ultra conservative Pat Robertson. Although their belief and faith in God and the church were strong, the right wing approach to persecution did not fit with Tammy Fayeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s religious philosophy, so she and her husband created their own ministry called PTL. PTL began to flourish, and in harsh contrast to other evangelistic programs, Tammy Faye embraced homosexuals with compassion and acceptance. Her prayers were not to convert or change gay people, but were rather to help gay people be understood and accepted by the rest of the world.

In the mid â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s, scandal began to erupt when Jim Bakker resigned his ministry after his affair with former secretary Jessica Hahn was revealed on television. The controversy marked the end for the ministry, which suffered from bankruptcy and was eventually burned to the ground. The late Jerry Falwell, who had been eyeing the ministry in hope of securing a television deal later, bought it up. Tammy Fayeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s love and compassion was extremely different from Falwellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beliefs and the two had an ongoing feud for years after he took her home from under her feet. Tammy Faye, however, forgave Falwell before his death, to which he had no reply.

Jim Bakker went to prison for accounting fraud and left his wife and two children to fend for themselves. Tammy Faye became a national joke as bumper stickers and t-shirts were made depict-

ing her as a fake, and the media crucified her image to the rest of the world. But in true Tammy Faye style, she accepted her fate and forgave the people around her who had betrayed her trust or had turned their backs on her. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just the way Tammy Faye was, a bubbly embodiment of hope who could rise up to meet any challenge, and it was that quality that would make her a gay iconic figure.

She divorced and remarried Heritage USA contractor and church builder Roe Messner and she started a new chapter in her life. She joined forces with popular gay actor JM J. Bullock, and the two cohosted a TV talk show entitled The JM J. and Tammy Faye Show, and was the subject of a popular gay cult documentary called the Eyes of Tammy Faye. Her new image was one that gay culture accepted and her fan base continued to grow.

In her final interview with Larry King, Tammy was asked why she didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have the same feeling toward gay people as some of her evangelistic contemporaries to which she explained, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Gay people have always supported me. When I was down, they were the only group who didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t turn on me,â&#x20AC;? and it is because she didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t view gay people as being any different from any one else.

Her reign as a talk show queen was, unfortunately, short lived when she was diagnosed with colon cancer, and was forced to leave the show. Her 11-year battle with cancer would begin, and Tammy Faye, with God and the gays on her side, was ready for the challenge.

She was first diagnosed in 1996, and after an intensive operation, she went into remission. She would begin touring the country telling her story to others who were battling with cancer and her message was one of inspiration and hope.

A few years later, Messner announced that her cancer had returned and this time was in her lungs. It was inoperable, and again Tammy Faye turned her hands over to God and began chemotherapy.

World of Wonder produced a second documentary released through Lions Gate following her battle, entitled Tammy Faye: Death Defying. A few months later the treatment seemed to work, and Tammy Faye was once again in remission.

It was a warm sunny day in July when the film premiered at OutFest and I had the good fortune to meet Tammy Faye. I have worked for World of Wonder on a few other projects and was interested in meeting the woman who had survived not only cancer, but also infamy.

I was introduced to her and offered her my hand which she pushed aside and grabbed me around the waist for a huge hug. She grabbed my arm and began explaining to me about filming the movie as we marched into the packed theater.

I sat next to the 5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;1â&#x20AC;?, 95-pound Tammy Faye and watched her watching her own film. Her face lit up every time she sang on screen, and she mouthed the words of scripture along with the film.

She would explain things about the film and how much she hated being shown without makeup. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I know people make fun of my makeup,â&#x20AC;? she said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;but thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the way I like it.â&#x20AC;?

Her spirit transcended the screen, and her image was witty, poignant and proud without an ounce of judgment or hate.

As the credits rolled, the audience, mostly of gay people since it was OutFest,

rose to their feet and applauded the tiny woman who meant so much.

She walked to the stage and answered questions for the audience and was so gracious; it was humbling. Here was a woman whose life had almost destroyed her so many times, and yet, she carried on with no animosity or bitterness at all. She spoke of God as a loving being, someone who understands and accepts.

She spoke of the God that we remember from out childhood who doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t judge and doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want other people to judge.

In her book, I Will Survive... And You Will Too, she made a plea for all people to â&#x20AC;&#x153;grant themselves permission to cast off the things that are holding them back, to forgive themselves and others, to be

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Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m embarrassed to admit this, but I happen to be friends with Homophobia.

Well, by â&#x20AC;&#x153;friendsâ&#x20AC;? I mean â&#x20AC;&#x153;acquaintances.â&#x20AC;? And by â&#x20AC;&#x153;acquaintancesâ&#x20AC;? I mean â&#x20AC;&#x153;we happen to share the same carpool to work.â&#x20AC;? Needless to say, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had a few issues with Homophobia over the years, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve finally built up the courage to get a few things off my chest by writing Homophobia a letter, as follows.

Dear Homophobia â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been meaning to write you a letter for quite some time now. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m going to be frank with you â&#x20AC;&#x201D; this isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t a friendly letter to swap recipes or to ask how the kids are doing (speaking of which, your e-mailed pictures of your three-year-old son from last Halloween are interesting to â&#x20AC;&#x201D; whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the word Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m looking for? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; nobody).

Rather, I have a bone to pick with you.

A rather large, gayhating bone the size of at least Fred Phelps.

Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had a long illustrious career, Homophobia. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve accomplished more in a lifetime than most people. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve influenced fake politicians ranging from Rick Santorum to David Vitter. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve motivated fake celebrities ranging from Isaiah Washington to Ann Coulter. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve inspired fake religious leaders ranging from most religious leaders to â&#x20AC;Ś that about covers it.

I got it. Great. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had a long productive career. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m impressed.

Anti- Queer-Loving Larry Miller is impressed. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re all impressed.

But now itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time for you to retire.

I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to get all John Cusack on you and start sounding desperate (which I realize sounds redundant), but your services are no longer needed.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not exactly sure what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re trying to prove anymore with your lets-seehow-many-people-I-can-get-to-hate-gaymen-and-women shtick, but the act is starting to become more tiresome than Meg Foster in Cagney & Lacey.

I know you honestly feel that youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a good person, and that because of you, other Traditional Conservative Ideals may be preserved, such as â&#x20AC;&#x153;encouraging family values,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;building a Christian-based societyâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;beating the crap out of that queer in gym class.â&#x20AC;?

But Homophobia, my dear friend, you do realize that other despots â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and far be it for me to not accuse you of being a despot â&#x20AC;&#x201D; also believed they were good people, bettering society for all. People

such as Adolf Hitler. Benito Mussolini.

Joseph Stalin. Donald Trump.

Which isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t to say that six seasons of The Apprentice is as tragic as the systematic homicide of six million Jews.

But itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a close second.

Perhaps you think that you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really play that big of a role in society.

Perhaps you believe that the opinions of those you influence donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really matter in the societal dialogue. Perhaps you also think that abortions should be legal, after a 10-month waiting period.

As it turns out, fear of gay men and women is a big deal in society. Are you aware that because of your detrimental effect, approximately 20 percent of all hate crimes committed in the United States are directed at gay men and women? Are you aware that because of you, homosexual youth are two to three times more likely to attempt suicide than their peers? Are you aware that because of you, homosexual men and women still receive the death penalty in Iran, Mauritania, Nigeria, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, United Arab Emirates, Yemen and in some parts of Kansas? Are you aware that because of you, Brokeback Mountain 2: Jackâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Revenge is never going to happen?

You may try to neutralize yourself, Homophobia, behind other labels such as heterosexism, heterocentric, heteronormativity or homonegativity. Regardless of what you choose to call yourself, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no denying the fact that you are directly responsible for the oppression of homosexual men and women across the world. According to a University of Cincinnati study by psychologist Janet Baker, Homophobia, Anti-Semitism and Racism are â&#x20AC;&#x153;likely companions.â&#x20AC;?

This is who you keep as companions?

Anti-Semitism and Racism? While I havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t met Anti-Semitism or Racism personally, I hear that inviting them over for a dinner party is just slightly more appealing than inviting Ron Jeremy.

So, there you have it. Homophobia, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time for you to retire. In the years that have passed since clinical psychologist George Weinberg coined you on that fateful day in 1965, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve shared laughs, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve shared tears, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve shared anti-you legislation. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had a great run. But youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re finished. Living with you here in Utah has become a large pain in the ass.

A large, unprotected, pain in the ass.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to retire, Homophobia.

Hugs & Kisses, â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Ryan Shattuck P.S. Say hello to the kids for me. Q

Are you aware that because of you, Brokeback Mountain 2: Jackâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Revenge is never going to happen?

Ryan Shattuck is a freelance writer, a University of Utah student, and suffers from internalized aibohphobia: the fear of palindromes.

David Samsel Coming Out in S. Africa

by David Samsel samsel@qsaltlake.com

I recently received a letter from a young, gay, closeted man in South Africa. Through a Google search he found the column I wrote for the Jan. 1, 2007 edition of QSaltLake entitled, “Come Out, Be Happy.” He shared much about his life experience, his desire to come out to family and friends and his fears. He asked for my advice. Following are excerpted paragraphs from my e-mail to him.

I believe that the most difficult person to come out to is oneself. It sounds like you’ve already done that. However, it can be more frightening to come out to the other people in our lives. It’s been my experience that this fear is most often unfounded.

As for the experience that you had in April, I believe it’s very common when first coming out. But many men only continue in that cycle, never accomplishing more than that first-night thrill. Everyone’s journey is unique and everyone is looking for something slightly different (and yet, in my opinion, very much the same.) What is most important is that you protect yourself, emotionally and physically, and stay true to your values.

Whether gay or straight, there is no peace in any lifestyle that is in conflict with what you believe in your heart

to be true and right. I think you said it perfectly when you wrote, “I have come to realize how unhealthy it can be to repress what comes naturally, and that it is not wrong to feel the way I do. In fact, I know that the worst thing I can do is to deny myself the opportunity to live as a complete person with the capacity to love and be loved.”

I think it’s important that you’ve started to recognize your own homophobia and that you’ve begun to form a healthy identity as a gay man. Each of us must debunk our own negative stereotypes regarding gay people.

Realize that, even though you were in the closet, a gay man accomplished all the positive things you’ve done thus far in your life.

As for the longtime friend you want to tell that you’re gay, it’s possible that she will feel as you fear, hurt by the fact that you didn’t tell her earlier. But if she is able to step back from that hurt, even for a moment, I’m sure she will understand. This is something that you’ve kept from everyone, not just her.

You also expressed fear of being perceived as “weak,” especially if you break down and cry when you tell her. I found in my personal experience that I cried

more often than not when I told people that I was gay. But I didn’t cry because I was sad. I cried because there were so many years of joy and sorrow that I had repressed with my sexual orientation, that when I revealed my being gay I also revealed the emotion I’d hidden with it.

Coming out is about being honest. We are all human and we all feel the same emotions. If your emotions are revealed in the tears running down your cheeks, then as an honest human being, you should honor those emotions. One of my favorite quotes is by John Lancaster Spalding. It reads, “The greatest courage is to dare to appear to be what one is.” We are all vulnerable.

For me, coming out was not about having gay sex or throwing my middle finger in the face of the religion in which I was raised. My sexuality is only one part of who I am. But every part of a person is dependent upon all the others and they are all of equal importance.

To believe otherwise is to misunderstand the value of being whole.

You asked if it is normal to feel the way you do before coming out. I don’t know what it means to be normal, but I know that there is a lot of fear and ignorance in

I cried because there were so many years of joy and sorrow that I had repressed with my sexual orientation, that when I revealed my being gay I also revealed the emotion I’d hidden with it.

this world. Facing that fear and confronting that ignorance is what makes some people a cut above the rest.

I would encourage you to be patient with your family and other loved ones.

Each of them has an idea in their head of who you are, what your life is, and what it will become. These ideas and their dreams for you will have to be altered or completely let go. The truth can shatter a person’s “reality,” leaving them surrounded by the broken pieces of the perfection that they had built inside their minds. Different people will require different amounts of time to mourn the broken pieces around them. You’ve had 25 years to come to the point where you’re ready to start accepting yourself as gay.

It’s never right to hold another person to a higher standard than you hold yourself.

I doubt it will take any of your loved ones 25 years, but give them time to grieve the loss of their “reality.” And keep in mind that being gay in a straight world can be hard enough to understand when you’re living it. Imagine if you were an outsider looking in.

I feel strongly about the importance of coming out. Everyone deserves to live in the light, to be loved in the light.

And it really does all come down to love.

Coming out is an act of self-love; it’s the experience of baring your true self to those whom you love and then waiting to see if they truly love you, or if they just love the façade that you created for them.

There is a significant difference between being loved as you pretend to be and being loved as you are. You deserve to be loved as you truly are, by yourself, as well as by those whom you love. Q

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Lambda History A Prologue of Things to Come

By Ben Williams ben@qsaltlake.com

In 1976, dark clouds hovered menacingly south of the Point of the Mountain.

The Powers That Be were desperately trying to squash a â&#x20AC;&#x153;homosexual ringâ&#x20AC;? on the Lordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s campus, fearing its fairy magic. Nevertheless, after a brace of suicides and an accoutrement of electroshock therapies, disfellowships and excommunications, the PTB managed to establish the sinister sounding Institute for Studies in Values and Human Behavior at the Bringâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;em Young campus. Mad scientist and psychology professor Allen Bergin was ordained Reich Marshal, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Herr Direktor of the Final Solution to the Homosexualität Problem.â&#x20AC;? Or something to that effect.

The SVHB Institute was charged with producing an anti-homo manuscript which â&#x20AC;&#x153;would set forth significant empirical evidenceâ&#x20AC;? in support of the PTB position on the pansy movement. Al Bergin and Vic Brown Jr. were charged with manufacturing a â&#x20AC;&#x153;scientific bookâ&#x20AC;? written for a â&#x20AC;&#x153;New York Times type of audience.â&#x20AC;?

They would clandestinely publish said book through a popular Eastern press, thereby making it appear as though the scholarly tome had no ties at all to the PTB. The resulting volume would then be available as â&#x20AC;&#x153;secular evidenceâ&#x20AC;? to back up the PTB anti-homo stance.

It was a plot that Watergateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Deep Throat would have envied.

Wringing their wrinkled hands and laughing diabolically, the PTB knew their malevolent scheme to root out all homosexuals in the land of Zion could not fail. Squeals of delight could be heard all the way down the Radio City Lounge. Many patrons fell off their bar stools in horror.

At the same time the SVHB Institute was being erected at the Lordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Univer-

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sity, Herr Professor Eugene Thorne, Kommandant of the Psychology Department, was the overseer of one Max Ford McBride, who for purposes of his Ph.D dissertation, rounded up 16 gay men for ghastly electroshock experiments. Thanks to the efforts of the campus storm troopers, these madmen had no trouble finding frightened and desperate students and staff, who were prepared to peruse gay and straight pornography while being jolted by electrodes. The demonic experiments, to Thorne and McBrideâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s glee, were a success: only two subjects committed suicide during the nightmarish ordeal.

But, hey. It was better that one man or two perish then a nation dwindle in disbelief!

Thus, the following year â&#x20AC;&#x201D; June 1977 â&#x20AC;&#x201D; a carefree student named Cloy Jenkins attended one of psychology pedagogue Reed Payneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s required lectures, not knowing that he was about to play a starring role in the Thirty Year Homosexual Wars. Now on that fateful day Payne, an ardent member of the SVHB Institute, gave one heck of a rousing tirade against homosexuals, queers and sodomites, pausing only long enough to wipe the spittle from his chin. Jenkins, who just happened to be one of the aforementioned categories, was really â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and I mean really â&#x20AC;&#x201D; pissed off.

Better yet, he was literate. Jenkins pondered and pondered, and then he prepared a response to Professor Payneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lecture.

For good measure, Jenkins solicited help from fellow academicians Jeff Williams, Lee Williams and closeted university lecturer Howard Salisbury to edit his red hot response to Professor Payneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rant.

Jenkinsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; response was written as an open letter to Payne. He emphasized that homosexuals did not choose their sexual orientation, and that the PTB efforts to â&#x20AC;&#x153;cureâ&#x20AC;? homosexuality were resulting in â&#x20AC;&#x153;suicides, unhappy marriages and lives built on lies.â&#x20AC;? The letter also plainly denounced Anita Bryant, whose Save Our Children crusade was â&#x20AC;&#x153;replete with hatred, ugliness, ignorance and deception.â&#x20AC;?

As fate would have it, rabble rouser and faggot divine Kenneth Kline, one of the Salt Lake Human Rights Conventionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s organizers, was organizing gays at the Lordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s University at the time. Kline managed to get a copy of Jenkinsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; manuscript and published it anonymously as a pamphlet. First known as â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Payne Papers,â&#x20AC;? it is better known today as â&#x20AC;&#x153;Prologue.â&#x20AC;?

Kline sweet talked Don Attridge into doing a pencil sketch of the Lordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s campus for the cover artwork. Somehow, he also got the pamphlet mailed out of the Church office building. What a guy! This incredible deed made it appear as though the pamphlet was a

Bringâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;em Young University and PTBsanctioned publication. Faster then you can say zip-a-dee-doo-dah, Jenkinsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; thesis was circulating among faculty and administration at both Bringâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;em Young University and Hick ... I mean, Ricks College, as well as television and radio stations and newspapers throughout Utah and greater Idaho.

You can just imagine the H-E-double tooth picks that broke out among the PTB. Herr Bergin was ordered to slap together a rebuttal to â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Payne Papersâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and it had better be a darn good one!

In September 1977, just as Hurricane Anita was about to give Utah a blow job and the gay community was hurriedly batting down the hatches, Salt Lakeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gay newspaper, The Open Door, obtained permission to begin serializing â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Payne Papers.â&#x20AC;? Copies of the paper flew off the shelves. Newsies screamed out the headline: â&#x20AC;&#x153;BYU Students Dispute LDS Doctrine.â&#x20AC;?

Two weeks later on September 15, the Lordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Universityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Executive Committee met in air-conditioned splendor to discuss Herr Berginâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rebuttal to â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Payne Papers.â&#x20AC;? From the shadows at the head of a long polished table, the chairman hailed Berginâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s response as â&#x20AC;&#x153;excellent.â&#x20AC;? Others were not so optimistic.

After the initial round of polite congratulations, the Executive Committee re-read the response. They then admitted that this Mr. Anonymous was a crafty fellow and â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Payne Papersâ&#x20AC;? had a â&#x20AC;&#x153;rather sophisticated prohomosexuality platform.â&#x20AC;? In contrast, Berginâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s response seemed a tad bit weak on substance. Still, it had a dandy title: â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Reply to Unfounded Assertions Regarding Homosexuality.â&#x20AC;? After all, everyone knew people donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t read beyond the titles of academic treatises.

However, one nameless professor quipped that Berginâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s confutation on the PTB behalf was so poorly written that â&#x20AC;&#x153;it was an embarrassment to all involved.â&#x20AC;? What a bummer for Bergin.

The PTB eventually had all the copies of â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Reply to Unfounded Assertions Regarding Homosexualityâ&#x20AC;? returned to Herr Bergin with a stern look and a â&#x20AC;&#x153;you can do better if you tryâ&#x20AC;? lecture. Well, try as he might, Herr Bergin was a complete wash-up, so the task of refuting Mr. Anonymous was assigned to Berginâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s comrade, Vic Brown Jr.; Junior to his friends.

Junior Brown did his golâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; darn hardest to refute â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Payne Papers,â&#x20AC;? but his response was also so inadequately composed that it, too, was never released to the public. All that tithing money down the drain. Curse you, Mr. Anonymous, you brilliant, but gay, miscreant! (To Be Continued.) Q

These madmen had no trouble finding frightened and desperate students and staff, who were prepared to peruse gay and straight pornography while being jolted by electrodes.

Mountain Meadows Mascara Say Cheese! by ruby ridge ruby@qsaltlake.com

So darlings, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve known you long enough that I feel comfortable sharing some intimate details with you. Last week, I had a follow-up visit with my ever-so-skinny, overaerobicized doctor, who for the sake of confidentiality and convenience, I shall simply call Doctor Evil. It had been about a month since I had seen Doctor Evil, and in a rare period of compliance I had been following his advice about weight loss, stress reduction and exercise. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s funny how a near-death experience grabs your attention. I have stopped drinking sugary sodas, started watching my portion sizes and started eating vegetables. Did you know that vegetables are edible? I can tell you, muffins, it was a revelation to me! I always thought the produce section was an extension of a supermarketâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s floral department. Who knew? Well anyway, kittens, to make a long story semi-short,

I had lost eight pounds in a month, and I was feeling quite proud of that fact.

So, Doctor Evil read my intake form and observed that my blood pressure had gone down significantly. Now, let me put that in context. He announced this in such an odd, patronizing way that if I was a dog, he would have rubbed my tummy and given me a biscuit for not peeing inside the house.

But hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the kicker. In a rare moment of exuberance, I blurted out the exciting news about losing eight pounds, and he just sniffed and said, and I quote, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Come back when youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve lost twenty more and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll take you off your blood pressure medication.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD!â&#x20AC;?

I thought quietly to myself. Whereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the encouragement, the support, the kernels of wisdom from Oprah that will empower me to continue my healthy but arduous ways? But that was it, petals. Nothing. Zip. Nada. I swear to God, there are bondage slaves in slings and tit clamps who get more validation than I did! Memo to Doctor Evil: You seriously need to watch some Doctor Phil.

Anyway, I went home and did the worst thing I could possibly do. No, I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t wolf down a pint of ice cream, although I was seriously tempted. I jumped on the internet and looked up my Body Mass Index. BIG MISTAKE! Based on my 6â&#x20AC;&#x2122;2â&#x20AC;? height (without heels and hair), I apparently should weigh 186 pounds to be in the â&#x20AC;&#x153;goodâ&#x20AC;? range. Seriously people, 186 pounds? Get real, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s about the same weight as Nicole Richie holding a piece of sushi. Dammit, I havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t been 186 pounds since I was ten.

My biggest dieting nemesis is cheese.

I adore cheeses from the frumpiest cheddar to those exotic soft ripened ones, so cutting back on cheese is akin to choosing celibacy at gun point. According to my doctor, I am only allowed two slices of cheese a week. I know, I know!

Just shoot me now. I wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be so peeved if I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a huge wheel of Port-Salut and a wheel of smoked Gouda sitting in the fridge just mocking me.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve calculated that, at the rate of two slices a week, it will take me about three years to finish them. Actually itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only about two years if I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t eat the rind, the wrapping, the nutrition label and the bar code like I normally do. Dang it, dieting is not going to be easy ... wish me luck. Ciao, babies. Q

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Queer Gnosis Passing with Mattilda, Part 2

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In part one of my interview with genderqueer activist Mattilda, we discussed the dangers of gay assimilation into the world of straight privilege. In the second part, we discuss her new anthology Nobody Passes: Confronting the Rules of Gender and Conformity. The contributors in the volume each share their intimate experiences along the gender-blur continuum of queer identity. The various essays explore transgender politics, class issues, immigration and race struggles, as well as S&M, inter-queer discrimination and more. The book offers a wild ride through the turbulent waters of conformity and individuality. Ultimately, these smart and insightful essays question the very nature of belonging. The book also dares to ask about the possibility of choice in our sexuality and gender performance.

TW: Let’s jump into your anthology. This is an exciting and accessible book. In fact, I’m going to go as far and say it’s even a dangerous book.

M: Good!

TW: It’s comprised of a series of personal essays where you engage the problem of identity and what one contributor calls the “ill-fitting nature of categories.” And it seems that a thread that weaves through the various narratives is this conflict between personal authenticity and that deep desire to belong and be part of a group.

M: Absolutely. What I wanted to examine with Nobody Passes is the kind of compromises we are required to make in order to find these elusive ideas of community and belonging. What kind of violence lurks behind that? All of the contributors are talking about these really complicated intersections of identity and categorization and community ­­and asking, why is it belonging that we are after?

TW: It seems like this is hard-wired into us — to connect and be part of something larger.

And I’m wondering if this deep yearning to belong is actually what drives the assimilationist desires of the LGBT political movement?

M: Absolutely. And that is where the violence comes in. Especially if belonging means being the front-line of gentrification and moving into a neighborhood to get rid of the trannies and the whores and the drug addicts and homeless people. And then if we really succeed, straight people will eventually move in and gentrify us out of the neighborhood! Assimilation is cultural erasure. When you succeed that means you’re gone. And the essays in Nobody Passes are about articulating all of these complicated identities and places where we don’t belong.

TW: You talk about the power of choosing your own gender, your own orientation and, ultimately, your own identity. And I’ve come to reject the “born that way” argument because, well — women, poor people, Native Americans, other people of color — they’re all “born that way,” and that hasn’t provided them any political capital in our culture. Why do you think we’re so invested in this idea of

biological determinism?

M: It’s arguing for acceptance on the terms of the people who want us dead.

And so it’s like, “oh wait, we didn’t choose to be this way! I didn’t choose this dark and desperate and degraded and dangerous life! How could I possibly choose this?” It’s already accepting this pathology. “We can’t change it, we’re sick! So please accept us!” I think the real potential of queer identity is in enabling people to choose our gender, sexual and social identities. That’s the real potential. That’s the excitement, the glamour, the courage and the vibrancy.

Obviously, we’re not at that place yet.

But for me, that’s what a queer analysis can do for something else. How do we take apart all of these structures? Not just the structures in the world around us, but the structures within ourselves.

That’s what I am interested in — a politics that enables people to choose as many possibilities as they can and not limiting it around that whole “born that way” argument. It doesn’t go anywhere — it’s a dead end.

TW: I was going to ask you what your vision of a queertopia might be — but that’s it, isn’t it? It’s having the freedom to choose all of these things.

M: Yeah, that for me is the goal. Though I’m a little afraid of utopias. (laughs) TW: It’s a queertopia!

M: (laughs) Yeah, OK. Utopias often have a way of going the other direction. But we have to have some hope for dismantling dominant systems of oppression.

Whether those systems are as obvious as something like George Bush or our own social circles. Even if they are radical outsider cultures. For me, the real possibility is to be able to instigate and create something else. That’s the point. We can look at this horrible world and ask how do we create something else?

TW: And that has always been the role of the fringe and the avant-garde — to confront status quo, to provoke, agitate and summon something new for our culture.

M: Absolutely. That’s the possibility for finding the connections and really, actually, making change that works.

Stream the entire interview at queergnosis. com. Visit Mattilda at mattbernsteinsycamore.com. Q

Q uotes “It was something that really wasn’t talked about. It just wasn’t something I even thought about, because I wasn’t really around it until I came to New York City and lived in Chelsea. Now I have a lot of gay friends. At the end of the day, I pick my own views and beliefs.”

—Aaron Eckhart, who played the chief lobbyist in Thank You For Smoking, asked by The Advocate how his Mormon upbringing affected his views on homosexuality, July 13, 2007

“If HIV/AIDS were the leading cause of death of white women between the ages of 25 and 34, there would be an outraged outcry in this country.”

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Laurel Hester died four days after Valentine’s Day, 2006 — less than a month after winning the right to leave her $23,000 in pension benefits to her partner, Stacie Andree.

Hester earned her pension the hard way — as a cop. For nearly 24 years she served as an inspector for the Ocean County, New Jersey Prosecutor’s office, excelling at the kind of painstaking due diligence work that doesn’t make it onto prime-time TV but does actually solve cases. When she took her first job just out of college, she was one of only two women in the Morris police department, and her supervisor made it clear that her staying employed meant staying closeted. So Hester yanked the door shut, earned a reputation for modesty and teamwork, rose to the rank of lieutenant, and quietly devoted her life to serving her community.

All that changed the summer of 2005, when Hester was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. She wanted to be sure that the pension she’d spent

over half of her life earning would go to Andree: she was afraid that without it, her partner wouldn’t be able to hold on to their home. But Hester was part of a retirement plan that denied her the right to just go ahead and leave her pension to Andree — a right that any legally married, heterosexual couple enjoys from the moment they say “I do.” Hester needed the county’s freeholders to specifically authorize her request under the state’s Domestic Partnership Act. But the freeholders said no. First they lied and said they couldn’t do it. Then freeholder John P. Kelly said that if Hester’s request was granted it would “violate the sanctity of marriage.” Then they said no, it would cost too much. A month later they said no again — this time after being shown a videotape of Hester, bald from chemotherapy,

breathing with the help of a machine, and too weak to leave her hospice, urging them to change their minds.

By then, all hell was pretty much beginning to break loose. Blogger Michael Jensen of the Big Gay Picture published a three-part interview with Hester, and provided steady updates, as did Pam at the House Blend and the local papers. The folks over at Garden State Equality, New Jersey’s equivalent of Equality Utah, were on the case. But it wasn’t only sympathetic commentators and activists who were supporting Hester. Co-workers like detective Dane Wells had been stepping up the pressure on the freeholders for months. And supporters threatened to organize a boycott of the state.

And then a miracle happened.

That same week that the freeholders turned their backs on the videotape of Hester, there appeared on the horizon the sight that every politician dreads, especially in an election year: brandname news stations converging on Ocean County, eager for footage of five conservative Republican men denying a terminally ill police lieutenant in a wheelchair the right to do as she wished with the pension she’d earned keeping them and their families safe.

Next thing you knew, the freeholders were knee-deep in angry phone calls and letters. Just days later, there was a conference call between them and the state’s GOP leaders.

And lo and behold, the freeholders reversed their position.

Hester’s story needs to be told because she’s an American hero. But it also needs to be told because most Americans, gay and straight, need to understand that what happened to Hester isn’t an aberration: it’s the norm and it’s legal. In fact, Hester only got as far as she did because she lived in a state that passed a domestic partners law in 2005: otherwise, her case would never have seen the light of day.

All kinds of well-meaning souls think that whether or not lesbian and gay people get to visit their partners in the hospital, or inherit their partner’s benefits and property, is just a matter of whether you have nice folks in charge of the decision-making process. It’s not.

In 99 percent of this country, the law does not recognize any kind of relationship between two people of the same sex and affords them no legal rights.

The freeholders’ initial disrespect for Hester and Andree is in fact typical of what happens to gay and lesbian people when the self-appointed “defenders of marriage” step in to arbitrate morality.

And if the religious right in this country get what they want on this issue in the long run, queer people will forever continue to die terrible deaths: without the rewards of the work we have spent our lives doing, and without the assurance that our loved ones will be provided for once we’re gone.

Stacie Andree escaped the fate of losing her home only because Laurel Hester was willing to move mountains. Q Nancy Goldstein has written for AlterNet, Raw Story, Pam’s House Blend, The Boston Phoenix and Curve. This piece first appeared on Raw Story at rawstory.com.

Award-Winning Film of Hester’s Struggle to Screen at Salt Lake Film Center

BY F. DANIEL KENT

In a little more than 40 minutes, documentarian Cynthia Wade brings into sharp focus an important and powerful examination of a microcosm of the battle for gay and lesbian equality. Freeheld is perhaps one of the most important documentaries about gay and lesbian people to make the independent film circuit this year.

By simply presenting the facts of Hester’s situation without trying to hype or spin the story, Cynthia Wade presents perhaps the single best, most coherent argument for gay and lesbian equality in years. Wade is a heterosexually-married mother of two — who better to make the case?

The film won the 2007 Sundance Film Festival Special Jury Prize in February.

Recently, Freeheld filmmaker Cynthia Wade took time to chat with me during a phone interview about her film and Lieutenant Laurel Hester.

FDK: I have read in previous interviews where you comment that had you not shown up to the Freeholders meeting when you did that the film would never had happened.

How did you happen to become involved in Lt. Hester’s story at the fortuitous time that you did?

CW: I read an article in a local newspaper in Brooklyn about Laurel Hester and her 25-year career ending with her being diagnosed with terminal cancer and then being turned down on her pension benefit request. The story in the paper piqued my interest so I decided to go down to a Freeholder meeting having no idea at all if they would even allow me to film. It turns out that there is a New Jersey law that anybody can film in a public meeting and there were a number of other cameras present. Within 15 minutes of beginning to film I was shocked. I could not believe what I was witnessing.

I decided right then and there that this was going to be my next film.

FDK: At the time of your decision, were you in the process of looking for the subject for your next film or did you find yourself having to abandon other projects in order to pursue this one?

FDK: When I was watching the documentary, I was impressed by the attention to detail that you utilized in such a short amount of time. Laurel Hester was such a presence in the film without having to do anything but show her in frame. What were your first impressions upon coming into the presence

CW: I was stricken at first by Laurel herself. She had amazing poise for someone in her incredibly dire circumstances. At that point she only had 6 months left to live and had already been turned down multiple times by the Freeholders. She didn’t want to be out as a gay woman in her community when she was very quietly and most definitely in the closet.

She was forced to come out due to the circumstances. I remember seeing her sit there with a quiet poise and incredible dignity despite the circumstances.

FDK: There are also a number of other rather unlikely voices that are featured on the film in support of Lt. Hester’s cause. Am I correct in assuming you seem to be making a point of highlighting these voices to drive home the message?

CW: Yes. It was very revealing to me that there were all of these mostly male and some of them very macho police officers in this traditionally very heterosexual male-dominated world that suddenly had become these sort of unlikely gay activists by standing up for her. For some of them it was the first time that the issue had ever hit home like that. It was very moving to me that these officers were going to stand by their partner and fight for her regardless.

FDK: As a documentarian, I know that you strive to be objective in your presentation.

What was it like for you to find yourself in the center of this amazing story?

CW: It was amazing to me that Stacy, her life-partner was very clearly poised to lose her house if the pension didn’t get approved and there just seemed to be this sort of flat denial in the room that if they just said no enough that it would just go away. There was this drama that had been set into motion and was unfolding so rapidly and it was incredibly moving and compelling to be in the middle of all of that. I live in Brooklyn so going to Ocean County and experiencing politics there was a new experience for me. At first I didn’t even know what a Freeholder was, which is pretty much everyone’s reaction when they first see the film because it’s such an archaic term from Colonial days. As I understood it from several sources, the Freeholders almost always vote together as a united front so I gather that even if there are differing opinions regarding the vote they would often help each other out and reach a decision in private and then come out with a united front and back each other up in public. I think that they were really caught off guard with how big this fight was going to get and how many supporters she was going to have not only in terms of the other counties in New Jersey but people across the nation were following this and they were getting calls and e-mails of support from as far away as Australia.

FDK: There seems to be a lot about Lt. Hester that is said without really saying anything in the film. She seems to have incredible resolve in the face of these ridiculously impossible circumstances. As you were filming “Freeheld” what were you trying to communicate about Lt. Hester as you focused your camera on her plight?

CW: She was always very quiet and sometimes very unassuming but amazingly strong and as I talked to people around her I soon learned what that strength was truly born of. Many of her partners told me that it was a usual occurrence —Continued on next page

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A U G U S T 1, 2 0 0 7  I S S U E 8 3  Q S A LT L A K E  2 1

CW: I was definitely in a place where I was looking for my next film at the time.

It’s a long-term commitment when you take on a film project. You might go out on a few blind dates with subject matter here and there and see what happens, but if you are going to commit to a film it will become your life and it is very much like a marriage. I want to be careful about what kinds of film I commit to because once I commit that’s it. I’m eating, breathing, sleeping and living it full time. As a director this is the first project with GLBT subject matter I have worked on but it just seemed right to do.

Controversial social issues told through the eyes of strong women tend to be my thing so this was a perfect fit for me. I was really taken with her story because there was so much at stake.

of this remarkable woman?

Hester’s Struggle —Continued from previous page for her to have been the one that helped solve a crime and later on a male officer would come in and take responsibility for the collar. She was very quiet about it and never complained because to her it was always about the work and seeing that justice was served. She would always just quietly go back to what she did which was often very unglamorous work. She was the person who would sit in a freezing van late at night for hours on end waiting to take a surveillance photo of some guy who was up to no good. She was so committed to the work that when another person took the credit it was just in her personality to allow it and return to her quiet life and career. I think that for that reason she was often underestimated by the police department and as a result of that I think she was underestimated by the Freeholders. They didn’t seem to take into consideration her tenacity of sticking with that job for 25 years and in fact had tackled lots of bad guys and had solved murders and had nabbed the rapists only to have the credit given to someone else. That kind of tenacity was definitely going to serve her well in this fight.

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FDK: Your passion for the story is evident in your delivery. What do you feel are the goals that you have with this film?

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CW: I really feel like it is important to bear witness to Laurel Hester’s life. If I had not shown up to that first Freeholder meeting, if I had blinked for just a second or thought about how I was going to pay for this or I had thought about how many commitments I would have to give up in my life in order to make this film, then this film would not have been made—her story would have been gone in a flash. It just happened that I showed up and got to be there for the last ten weeks of her life. As I got to know her better I felt a real responsibility to not only bear witness to her life but to show respect to her career.

In the DVD extras for the film I will include her memorial service where the minister said “If you would have blinked, you would have missed her.” I feel like that could be taken a number of ways when you apply it to her fight, her career and her life. I feel like I have to share her story with as many people as possible both gay and straight. There were many people who said that she would have moved much further in her career than the hard earned rank of Lieutenant had she not been a woman and certainly had she not been a closeted lesbian. This is a way to celebrate her life and accomplishments and it was something that she was very excited about.

FDK: In the final days of Lt. Hester’s life there were undoubtedly times that you questioned the ethics involved in filming a dying woman’s final moments. How did you navigate what I am sure was a delicate terrain?

CW: My style as a filmmaker tends to be very unflinching in the face of difficult situations. I didn’t realize it until I was editing this film, but “Freeheld” is the third film I’ve written and directed that had death in it. It seems to be a theme that runs through my work without my actually realizing it until recently.

They trusted me to tell the story and there were definitely moments where it felt way too intimate, in which case I turned off the camera. She felt very

committed to my presence, however.

For instance, when her priest was there and the hospice workers were there she insisted that I be present. I tried to use those scenes powerfully but sparingly in the film. There were many times that she was very sick and I didn’t film because I would not have wanted that on record at the end of my life. I tried to use that as my benchmark for when I would and would not film. I would think “would I want this?” and if the answer were no then I wouldn’t do it.

There were several people close to Laurel who said that the film project helped to perk her up some because it gave her something to focus on. It was something to take her mind off the fact that she was dying. If we could go through pictures or get her to change clothes for an interview it was something that helped her through those final days.

It was a very difficult terrain to navigate because of the subject matter.

Increasingly, it became difficult to remain objective as I watched this happen to these normal everyday people. Stacey is happy with the film now but it was a scary thing to show her the final piece because I knew that she was just going to have to watch Laurel die again.

FDK: Was there any fear that people might perceive you as being someone trying to advance herself or profit off of the misfortune of this tragic tale?

CW: There definitely was. I didn’t want to be in a position after Laurel’s death of having people doubting her belief in the project, so in the DVD there is a great deal of interviews with Laurel talking about what the project means to her and there is a whole section of interviews with friends and family members that will be included. We also are working on building a comprehensive website so that people can learn what their rights are in their community. I decided to make this a short film because I feel that most documentaries are too long and also as a short film it can be used as an education and advocacy tool particularly as we start going towards the 2008 elections where there will be many battles on the state level for domestic partnership rights and the other issues that are related.

FDK: As a heterosexually married mother of two, why is the story of someone as different from you as a closeted lesbian police officer so important to you?

CW: That’s just the point. Lt. Laurel Hester wasn’t that different from me at all. She was just a normal woman who wanted to live her life and then die in peace. What else does anyone want? I just don’t think we will totally be free in this country until everybody is treated equally. We’ll look back on this fight for same-sex rights in the future and it will seem so archaic just like when women gained the right to vote or the idea of separate drinking fountains for black people. Laurel paid her taxes, served her community in her life and work while living quietly and normally with her partner Stacey and it doesn’t violate or affect my marriage at all. How is her commitment to Stacey any different than mine to my husband and how is it invalidating marriage at all? I don’t even understand the argument at all quite frankly. Q “Freeheld” will be screened at the Tower Theatre on Monday, July 30 and Tuesday, July 31. For information visit slcfilmcenter.org or see their ad on page 27.

Q Books Maupin’s New Tale

by Duane Wells

In person, Armistead Maupin is every bit the elder statesman of American literature one might expect. When we sat down at a West Hollywood eatery on a typically sunny Los Angeles morning a few weeks ago to chat about his new novel, Michael Tolliver Lives, I was immediately struck by the warmth of Maupin’s greeting and the joie de vivre that danced in his eyes. Even though it’s early and he’s in the midst of endless rounds of press in support of his latest book, Maupin is most alive and filled with an infectious kind of joy. He is, like his character Michael Tolliver, in love and it shines through every inch of his persona.

Though not quite a new installment in Maupin’s groundbreaking Tales of the City series, Michael Tolliver Lives does continue to tell the story of Mouse, one of the most beloved characters to be born of it. While sipping iced tea, Mr. Maupin and I chatted amidst much laughter about everything from the hilarity of three-ways and what it means to be a gay pioneer to the unexpected revelations of his May-December relationship with a man decades his junior as well his similarity to one of his most famous characters. Here’s what he had to say: Duane Wells: So let me first ask you about the title of the new novel which is so vibrant and, dare I say, triumphant. What inspired it?

Armistead Maupin: Initially when I contracted for the novel, I was just calling it Michael Tolliver. I don’t remember the day that it occurred to me that was the perfect thing to call the book because of the assumption that he [Michael Tolliver] had died of AIDS all those years ago. I didn’t put an exclamation point on it because I don’t think it quite merits an exclamation point [Laughs]. But it’s basically saying that he’s living in the way we all live…with tragedy and death and joy and serendipity.

DW: Now the character of Michael Tolliver has always appeared to me to be something of a gay battering ram in your books. He’s been through every high, every low and everything in between, but he seems to have finally found peace in Michael Tolliver Lives. Would you agree?

DW: I know you always get asked how much of Michael ‘Mouse’ Tolliver character actually resides in you, so I won’t ask you that, but I will instead ask you what traits or characteristics you share in common with him?

AM: I think we’re both romantics at heart.

I think we’re both fatalists at heart. He’s still a sexual creature and so am I and he’s still trying to balance all of those things with each other.

DW: Are you as acerbically witty as Michael ‘Mouse’ Tolliver?

AM: Given a drink or two … yes. [Laughs] Though you’d have to ask other people

DW: While we’re on the subject of characteristics you share with Michael Tolliver, in real life, you, like Michael, are involved in a May-December relationship. What do you think people don’t understand about intimate relationships between older and younger men?

AM: Well that’s probably a question you need to ask my husband who is 35 and has a real bee in his bonnet about that.

He has a Web site called DaddyHunt.com and he said he did it in part to show that young men who are attracted to older men are not in it for the bucks.

People often think when they see these types of relationships that there is an exchange of youth and beauty for security and money. He wants people to know that in the very beginning it was a matter of sexual attraction for him. Because of that, when we fell in love, I began to own my age for the first time. I thought ‘he wants for me for who I am,’ therefore I felt better about myself and energized sexually because I felt I had something to offer. So I think that’s the key misunderstanding.

DW: You’ve said before that you didn’t intend for Michael Tolliver Lives to be a sequel of Tales of the City, yet Michael Tolliver is one of the most memorable characters to come out of the series. Why? AM: Well I was trying to prepare people for the fact that this book was going to be of a different tone… that it was going to be written in the first person and that it was going to be primarily focusing on one character. But as I started writing it, the other characters began to audition for me and demand a place in the narrative and I let them in as I saw fit. I really don’t care what people call it. I just want them to enjoy it.

about that and I was excited about the reaction that it was going to get from gay people who would flabbergasted to see their lives in print.

I certainly didn’t think it would last as long as it did … I didn’t think it would stretch globally at roughly the rate that gay consciousness has spread globally. I wasn’t counting on that. I try to stay in the moment and think about my storytelling instincts rather thinking ‘Oh my God, I’m a pioneer!’

DW: Given the unique vantage point from which you’ve been able observe so much change in gay culture over the last few decades, what do you see as the most encouraging changes in GLBT life and conversely what do you see as the most discouraging developments?

AM: I’m very encouraged that gay teenagers … even in the South … are out of the closet at their high schools and they’ve taken a stand and they’re living with it.

The most discouraging development is some of the behavior among gay people who know better. By that I mean crystal meth and barebacking. These are things that say ‘I hate myself and I really don’t care if I live another day so I’m going to have my momentary fun and they create a hell from which there is no return.’ It’s heartbreaking.

can lead up to a moment and have them go in the bedroom and I used to do that in the newspaper. But when someone’s telling a story from his own viewpoint, if he doesn’t tell you about the other part it seems like he’s a withholding person.

I’ve always been fascinated by… not so much… sex, but the lead up to it and the coming down from it. What people say to each other … the little amusing things that occur … the touching things … the kindnesses that strangers show each other when they’re having sex. It would be foolish to simply stop once they start having sex. Plus there’s great humor to be found in that. A three-way is hilarious! [Laughs] DW: So the inclusion of more explicit sex in Michael Tolliver Lives has nothing to do with some describing your work as “safe?”

AM: I suppose there was a certain amount of naughty boy going on there, saying “I’ll show ’em!” [Laughs] I don’t ever want to be accused of sexual prissiness so yeah there’s probably an element of that in there.

DW: I can’t resist asking you what else could possibly happen to Michael Tolliver in future installments. The poor guy has been to hell and back at least 20 times!

DW: It was a conscious choice then? Why now?

AM: To be honest, I don’t want to think about it! [Laughs] I’m so content and at peace, I’d like for Michael to have it for a while too, but we never have that guarantee do we? There’s always death waiting around that next corner. There’s the death of friends. There’s the whole shit sandwich of life that we have to contend with it. That’s why those moments of love are so important and that’s why Christopher [my husband] is by far the most important thing in my life because it becomes my anchor and my inspiration. Q

AM: Yeah. I didn’t see how I could avoid it.

It’s easier to turn away from a scene when you’re writing in the third person. You

Armistead Maupin’s Michael Tolliver Lives is in stores now. For more on the author, visit www.armisteadmaupin.com.

DW: Michael Tolliver Lives is a much more sexually in-your-face affair than your other books…

AM: Much to the chagrin of both my agent and my editor initially. [Laughs]. They eventually came around and told me I was right and that I had to follow my instincts.

DW: Beginning with the Tales of the City series, your writing has had an undeniable effect on shaping the way in which gay life is perceived in American culture and beyond. Do you see yourself as more of a social activist or a chronicler of the times?

AM: If I may be so immodest, Dickens did a fine job of combining social commentary with observation of the milieu and entertainment. I think the combination is very powerful. You can accomplish a number of things at the same time.

I think I am proudest of the way I have been able to affect social change in my writing. When I started Tales of the City, gay lives were really invisible in the mainstream culture. They weren’t on television. They weren’t in any books read by straight people. They weren’t even in newspapers in San Francisco.

People were shocked when a frank speaking gay character showed up in their morning newspaper. Even the gay people were shocked. [Laughs] DW: People call you a pioneer, but do you see yourself as a pioneer?

AM: Yeah… I do. My wagon train has gotten shot at enough times for me to feel that way. I was the number one target of the Christian right in 1994! I think because the stories tend to be fairly seductive, people don’t even notice that they introduced an idea at a time when that idea didn’t exist. Especially now that we’ve arrived at a certain point.

DW: Did you have any idea when you began writing Tales of the City that it would have the impact that it has had?

AM: I hate to say it to you, but I was aware of what I was about to do, which was to tell gay stories in a mainstream newspaper 31 years ago. I was excited

A u g u s t 1, 2 0 0 7  I SSU E 8 3  Q S A LT L A K E  2 3

AM: That’s true. Well, I fell in love three years ago just when I was starting to write Michael Tolliver Lives so I thought it was only fair to share a little bit of my joy with Michael. Michael’s story is really not atypical though. Everybody I know from my generation has lost dozens of people to AIDS and had dozens of up and down love affairs so his is not the Perils of Pauline exactly. Although he did come down with a debilitating illness before AIDS… so… you’re right… [Laughs] …he has had a kind of hard time.

because sometimes you think you’re being acerbically witty and you’re just being a bore! [Laughs]

2 4  Q S A LT L A K E  I S S U E 8 3  A u g us t 1, 2 0 0 7

Gay Geeks Geeks in (Long-Distance) Love Part 1

by JoSelle Vanderhooft joselle@qsaltlake.com

â&#x20AC;&#x153;But you might get a 90-year-old dude who kills people! and pees in the sink!â&#x20AC;?

This is probably the most pervasive myth about online relationships, because it touches on two inalienable truths about the internet: its anonymity and scary peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s uncanny skill in taking advantage of that anonymity, usually to hurt you. How can you truly

But You Could Get Killed or Stalked!

This is true, but again, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also true in any offline relationship. An important part of making sure you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t end up as a newspaper headline when meeting your online sweetie is time. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t go running off to meet in person a few days, weeks or even months after you meet online. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s how a lot of horror stories happen. Get to know your sweetie first â&#x20AC;&#x201D; I had known my girlfriend for a year and a half before we met, but a year is usually a good idea.

Make sure you talk on the phone, via Skype or web cam in the meantime, and talk frequently. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t meet him or her unless s/he does this either, even if the excuse sounds solid.

The idea behind waiting and talking is simple. Mostly, people who want to mess with you wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to invest all that time and effort.

When you do meet in person, keep the general rules of offline dating in mind.

If crossing state lines, stay in a hotel or hostel, or with friends and family instead of crashing at your sweetieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s place.

Meet in a public place, and follow your instincts. I would also recommend not jumping into physical intimacy (everything from sex to kissing) right away, either. In my experience, relationships that cross from the internet into â&#x20AC;&#x153;real lifeâ&#x20AC;? work best when taken slowly.

Sounds like a lot of trouble!

In many ways, internet relationships are a lot of trouble, especially if your sweetie lives out of state. You have to delay a lot of things, especially sex, which can be difficult for geeks and â&#x20AC;&#x153;mundanesâ&#x20AC;? alike. Before getting into an online relationship, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s important to be honest with yourself about your emotional and sexual needs, as well as your patience level. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re someone who needs physical intimacy then internet relationships, at least monogamous ones, are probably not for you.

If it is, read on! In Part 2, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll discuss how to keep an online, long distance relationship strong and ­ fulfilling. Q

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A u g u s t 1, 2 0 0 7 ď Ž â&#x20AC;&#x201A; I SSU E 8 3 ď Ž â&#x20AC;&#x201A; Q S A LT L A K E ď Ž â&#x20AC;&#x201A; 2 5

Now that Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day 2007 is little more than some powdering chocolate in the cupboard, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s probably a little late in the year for a column about romantic love â&#x20AC;&#x201D; or a little early for next year, if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re the forward-thinking type. But I just canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t help it, my geeky ones. Love has been on my mind a lot lately. Maybe itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the weather, maybe itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s something in the water, maybe itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s because I cried like a PMS-ing Cho Chang while reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (where, I might add, none of my FABULOUS predictions from last column came true â&#x20AC;&#x201D; humph!). But probably, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s because my equally geeky girlfriend of three years is in town.

Like a growing number of people in our wired age, including â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and perhaps especially â&#x20AC;&#x201D; a lot of wired-tothe-nines geeks, I am in a long-distance relationship. A long-distance relationship that began online. A long-distance relationship that began online over a shared interest in stereotypical geeky pursuits like anime, fantasy literature and online gaming. Although my girlfriend and I talk almost daily over instant messenger, e-mail or phone, we only get to see each other face-to-face a few times each year.

For us, geography isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just a bitch to deal with in a junior high class. Dealing with stereotypes about long-distance relationships â&#x20AC;&#x201D; especially those that begin on message boards, chat rooms and blogs â&#x20AC;&#x201D; is also a bitch. Whenever I hear people spouting nonsense like â&#x20AC;&#x153;long-distance/internet relationships arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worth the trouble,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;these relationships arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t real,â&#x20AC;? or, my favorite, â&#x20AC;&#x153;people just get into these relationships because theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re immature/afraid of sex/socially inept/too creepy to get a â&#x20AC;&#x153;realâ&#x20AC;? partner,â&#x20AC;? I want to scream a bit.

Especially when I hear queers, geeks and particularly queer geeks saying things like this.

To keep myself from going into cardiac arrest before age 30, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve compiled some tips not just on coping with being in a long-distance relationship, but prospering in one. For gay geeks in LDRs (and I know youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re out there; I can hear you breathing), I hope these will be edifying. For those of you who arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t, I hope youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll learn something new. In this installment of what will probably be my only dating column ever, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll look at some myths about long-distant, largely internet-based relationships.

know to whom you are talking online?

The simple answer, and the reason for this stereotype, is that you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know. Then again, that nice gal you meet in a bar might also be an axe-murdering, sink-peeing maniac. You wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t necessarily know more about a person just because you met them face-to-face as opposed to keypad-to-keypad.

The key to getting closer to someone online is actually a lot like meeting someone face to face: follow your instincts, ask questions and above all, be honest with yourself about your feelings. Since you wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have visual cues like body language to work from, take your cues from behavior instead. If that seemingly nice guy you met on a forum for Battlestar Galactica tries to isolate you from other friends, or demands that you spend all your time talking to him, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s probably not dating material.

If that seemingly nice lady you met in a Harry Potter read-through group goes through friendships like tissues because they keep â&#x20AC;&#x153;betrayingâ&#x20AC;? her, sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s probably not dating material. If that seemingly nice person asks you to do things that make you uncomfortable and wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take no for an answer... you get the idea.

2 6  Q S A LT L A K E  I S S U E 8 3  A u g us t 1, 2 0 0 7

The Gay Agenda

Toby Keith See Friday Aug. 3

YOUR CALENDAR OF ARTS, ENTERTAINMENT & IMPORTANT EVENTS

The Q Movie Mini Review: Overall, Hairspray is entertaining and funny. John Travolta is no Divine, but does a fairly decent job. Michelle Pfeiffer is kind of irritating and lacks comic flare.

The music is hopping; and the cast looks fabulous in their respective wardrobes. Plus, Zac Efron is dreamy!

1WEDNESDAY Q This event may not literally predispose man-on-man action, but it’ll be fucking hot to watch. The first annual Real Salt Lake Bachelor Auction kicks off with a VIP cocktail party, then the sexy soccer boys strut their anaconda thighs for all the tingling bidders. I certainly wouldn’t mind being caught in any one of their “chest traps.”

6–9pm, Hotel Monaco, 15 W. 200 South.

Tickets $40/Gen. $100/VIP, 924-8573 or realsaltlake.com..

Q Art in Transit, the public art program for light rail and commuter rail has two opportunities for Utah artists to create a piece of art for a Trax station. Artists are asked to submit a preliminary proposal (by Aug. 24) for public art that addresses Trax operations, the character of the neighborhood and urban design aspects of west downtown Salt Lake. I think the stop at 900 South and 200 West should have a majestic niobioum (neon rainbow) bust of Gene Gieber puffing on a cig.

For a complete Request for Proposal, visit the web at www.slcgov.com/arts and click

on Public Art, or call the Arts Council at 596-5000.

2THURSDAY Q A comic version of the Broadway hit Les Miserables — as only the Desert Star Theatre & Steakhouse can do — is currently staged in the Cabaret Theatre.

Less Miserable is full of over-the-top characters with funky French accents, pop culture and a twist of local humor.

7pm, through Aug. 25, Desert Star, 4861 S. State Street. Tickets $8–15.95, 266.2600 or desertstar.biz.

3FRIDAY Q There’s evil lurking on the Forbidden Mountain ... three faithful fairies bestow gifts of magic ... poison and prince-napping unveil a sinister curse ... Sleeping Beauty must be saved from the perils of doom.

7:30pm, Fri., Sat. & Mon. through Sept. 1, Academy of Performing Arts, 3188 S. 400 East. Tickets $10–12, 486-2728, academyofpa.org.

Q He’s definitely not your typical gangly stickman cowboy like Jack Twist; he’s more of an Ennis Del Mar, but a bit more burly. He has a huge fan base (except for Sean Penn) and owns a restaurant or two. He’s the incomparable Toby Keith, and he’ll be mozying up to the mic tonight with his own special country music flare.

7:30pm, USANA Amphitheatre, 5400 S. 6200 West. Tickets $37–73, 888-8499 or smithstix.com.

Q Larry Keigwin, who has choreographed and performed on Broadway, as well as regularly choreographs for drag artist Varla Jean Merman, has choreographed a new work for RirieWoodbury to be performed at the opening season performance “Fast Forward,” Sept. 20–22. The Larry Keigwin Preview Performance is open to the public as a chance to see the work while still in progress.

4pm, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Free, ririewoodbury.com.

Q Yet another concert series has popped up in our lovely state, but rumor has it that it’ll be as classy as the Park City series once they’ve “cleaned up all the used hypodermic needles.” Ain’t that just grand? Anyhoo, the Pioneer Park Concert Series includes one of my favorite local bands Starmy and Jon E Dangerously who perform tonight.

6pm, Fridays through August 31, Pioneer Park, 400 W. 300 South. Free, for the complete lineup, slcgov.com 535-6110.

4SATURDAY Q Well silkscreen my butt and call me Andy Warhol, it’s the 38th annual Park City Kimball Arts Festival. This really is a fabulous festival even though last year I spent too many hours on the Wasatch Brewery patio and was detained by police officers for my not-so-concealed sterling silver handgun belt buckle.

9am–7pm & 9am–6pm Sunday, Park City Main Street. Tickets $5 at the gate.

Q Once you’ve had your fill of handmade art, get your hands on some leather at the Utah Rebellion. This 2nd annual leather and fetish event has great prizes to be raffled including two nights at the Las Vegas Blue Moon Resort, two nights at Under the Lindens and custom toys from Rubberdawg.com, Sincrafters.com, Wet.com, extremerestraints.com, Kinkwear.net, 665leather. com, and blowbuddies.com.

4pm BBQ & 8pm party, Club TryAngles, a private club for members, 251 W. 900 South. Tickets $5 at the door, ­utahrebellion.com.

7TUESDAY Q The sultry blues/rock of two fabulous artists are at your disposal. The magnetic Marc Broussard and the stylish Toby Lightman take the stage for a night of vision and retrospect.

8pm, The Depot, a private club for members, 400 W. South Temple. Tickets $15/ adv–$17/day of, 888-8499 or smithstix.com.

9THURSDAY Q The People With AIDS Coalition of Utah is hosting a weekend RIVER TRIP on the Payette River near Boise, Idaho.

Three fun-filled days on majestic land and water, what more could anyone ask for on a weekend. I just hope Toni is not the tour guide â&#x20AC;&#x201D; sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d probably have everybody rowing upstream.

Tehehe!

8am, through Aug. 12, carpool from PWACU office, 175 W. 200 South, Suite 2010. Price $25/clientsâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;$100/non-clients, 484-2205.

10FRIDAY Q I just canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t help myself ... I have to let you know that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got some â&#x20AC;&#x153;cat scratch feverâ&#x20AC;? baby, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a â&#x20AC;&#x153;free-forallâ&#x20AC;? in this â&#x20AC;&#x153;dog eat dogâ&#x20AC;? world, so Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m going to bang my head with the Motor City Madman himself, TED NUGENT. Holy crap, I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t believe I once had a crush on this guy, but then again my penis was going through puberty ... it had a crush on everyone.

9pm, Peppermill Concert Hall, 300 Wendover Blvd., Wendover, Nevada. Tickets $40â&#x20AC;&#x201C;60, 800-648-9660 or wendoverfun.com/ concerthall.

Q Gilbert & Sullivanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s last great comic opera THE GONDOLIERS achieved wide popularity through its wit, sparkling melodies and its satirical snobbery.

Laugh along to the unintentional adventures of two Venetian gondoliers who have just been informed that one of them is the rightful heir to the throne of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Barataria.â&#x20AC;?

7:30pm, through Saturday, Snow Park Amphitheatre, Deer Valley. Tickets $25â&#x20AC;&#x201C;50, 355-ARTS or arttix.org.

11SATURDAY Q Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m putting this next event in for my teammate Annie in hopes of enticing

her to take the challenge because itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a doozy. The JUPITER PEAK STEEPLECHASE is a high endurance 16-mile loop course to the 10,000 foot summit of Jupiter and back to the start line (at approx. 7,000 feet). Just writing about it is making me winded.

8am, Legacy Lodge, 1315 Lowell Ave., Park City Mountain Resort. Registration fees $25/advâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;$30/day of, 435-649-6839 or mountaintrails.org.

12SUNDAY Q MAYA is a collage of energies ranging from the traditional beauty of the classical Indian dance form â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Bharatanatyamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; to the excitement of fusion dance with world music to recreating the magic of Indian film music. Performed by the acclaimed dancer and actress Shobana & troupe.

6pm, Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $12â&#x20AC;&#x201C;100, 355-ARTS or arttix.org.

AUG. 17â&#x20AC;&#x201C;19 PrIdaho, Pocatello, Idaho, pridaho.org AUG. 19 Lagoon Day, pride365.org AUG. 24â&#x20AC;&#x201C;26 The Village Summit, Jewish Community Center ugmh.com AUG. 26 Utah Pride Center Golf Classic, utahpride.org AUG. 29 Equality Utah Allies Dinner, Salt Palace, equalityutah.org

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Q This seems to be a motley assortment of bands in concert together: ZZTOP, PRETENDERS AND STRAY CATS. Yes, they are all rock groups whose popularities ran rampant in the early to mid â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s, but because their styles are so different, this show could be worth the dough. Besides, who doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like to remember the â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s.

6pm, USANA Amphitheater, 5400 S. 6200 West. Tickets $28â&#x20AC;&#x201C;70, 888-8499 or smithstix.com.

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UPCOMING EVENTS

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Aug. 19 â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Lagoon Day Aug. 25 â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Los Lonely Boys, Wendover Aug. 25 â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Beyonce, Las Vegas Aug. 28 â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Josh Groban, Energy Solutions Arena Oct. 4 â&#x20AC;&#x201D; The Cure, E Center Oct. 31 â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Maroon 5, Energy Solutions Arena

Literary Guild saltlakemenschoir.org

SEPT. 9 Pride Community Softball Kaos Classic Tournament, Jordan Park leaguelineup.com/pcslutah

NOV. 2â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8 Salt Lake Gay and Lesbian Film Festival saltfest.org

SEPT. 16 PWACU End of Summer BBQ, pwacu.org

NOV. 6 Election Day

SEPT. 27â&#x20AC;&#x201C;29 Out & Equal Workplace Summit 2007, Washington D.C. outandequal.org SEPT. 28â&#x20AC;&#x201C;29 Southern Utah Pride, Springdale southernutahpride.org SEPT. 28â&#x20AC;&#x201C;30 QVegas National Coming Out Day Weekend Festival ncodvegas.com OCT. 5 Salt Lake Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Choir 25th Anniv. Fundraiser, Ladiesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

NOV. 17 Imperial Rainbow Court of Northern Utah Coronation, irconu.org DEC. 1 Red Ribbon Party, Hotel Monaco, utahaids.org DEC. 7â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8 Salt Lake Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Choir 25th Anniversary Holiday Concert, First Baptist Church, saltlakemenschoir.org If you would like your event considered for this list, email tony@qsaltlake.com.

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Q Buzz

BY ROSS VON METZKE ROSS@QSALTLAKE.COM

OK, so BRIDGET MOYNAHAN is about a minute and a half away from poppinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; out TOM BRADYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s kid. Only, Tom and Bridget had a little falling out, and now Tomâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s keeping GISELE BUNDCHEN

warm at night.

I hear ya, Bridget â&#x20AC;&#x201D; being a single girl in L.A. sucks ass.

But seeing as sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll likely be able to milk Tom for all the child support the courts will appoint, I feel itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hardly fair to brand Tom Brady as a loser who walked out on his pregnant girlfriend.

After all, she announced she was with child two months after the couple broke up.

He can hardly be held accountable for that.

And really, who can blame him for recognizing that Gisele was finally out from under LEONARDO DICAPRIOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clutches and available for a night on the town?

Point being, the guy is hot, and once he becomes a dad, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be even hotter.

Let us pause to worship the body of work that is Tom Brady.

Call her a perfectionist. Call her a diva.

But given the list of demands BARBRA STREISAND is allegedly making on the European leg of her tour, perhaps the most accurate word to use is bitch.

Seriously, I get that Barbra is a living legend â&#x20AC;&#x201D; she has an Oscar, Emmys and Grammys. She only works when she wants to; Hollywood, Broadway and the recording industry literally fall to their knees when Babs feels like taking on a project. I guess it would be tough to loose touch with reality, but some of this shit is ridiculous.

Peach colored toilet paper to match her complexion. Rose petals in the toilet bowls. Ten designer floor lamps throughout her room. Insisting that all security guards wear nice, neat sweaters and never look her in the eye.

Well excuse me, Ms. Streisand.

Seriously, who the hell needs rose petals in the toilet if all youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to do is defecate on them? The toilet paper â&#x20AC;&#x201D; bitch, please. Your face is not peach.

Underneath all that makeup, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m willing to bet its gray. And if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re really gonna insist that security never look you in the eye, I hope that when bullets ring out, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re too busy focusing on your shoes to notice youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been shot.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m gay, so by default, I like Barbra.

And as a gay man, bitchy diva behavior

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Of course, there are so many performances worthy of a mention, I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t possibly fit them all here. Your best bet is to swing by Emmys.org and see for yourself who charmed the voters this season.

Just in case you were wondering, Mariah Carey is back at work.

She filmed a movie, sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s recording an album and, as you can plainly see from this photo, sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the latest celebrity to hop on the fragrance train. The only problem with this pic is that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not her.

Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve accused Mariah of getting a bit liberal with Photoshop in previous photo shoots. She pops up on Ellen looking like sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s about to split the seams of her velour riding pants, but two days later you see her on the cover of some magazine in a bikini without an ounce of fat on her.

The cover of the Emancipation of Mimi looked more BeyoncĂ&#x2030; than Mariah, and yet, the day of the albumâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s release, sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s running around Manhattan looking like a size 12.

Allegedly, Mariahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dropped some weight, but this photo is just plain ridiculous. And with good reason, too. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not Mariah. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Gisele Bundchen.

Apparently, this photo of Mariah swinging on a vine in her tennis shoes was passed off as the ad campaign for her new fragrance â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and emailed to gossip columnists around the globe. But a bit of digging proved itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s actually Mariahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s head photoshopped onto Giseleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s body, the result of a fan going a little bit nuts with the blur tool. So, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re happy to say, Mimiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still nuts â&#x20AC;&#x201D; just not that nuts.

In case any of you actually still care about Lindsay Lohan, the 21-year-old twotime rehab grad is voluntarily wandering around town with an ankle bracelet that monitors her alcohol intake in an attempt to prove that when sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s out partying it up, she isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t necessarily drinking.

Smart move, considering that since she left rehab a little more than a week ago, sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been photographed at nightclubs almost every night. Think we can massproduce a few of those for Britney and Nicole?

OK folks, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m out. Have some fun under the sun this weekend, and remember to take time to stop and smell the gossip! Q

Support Quality Gay and Lesbian News in Utah.

Subscribe today at 801â&#x20AC;&#x2018;649â&#x20AC;&#x2018;6663.

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entertains me. But something about this just rubs me the wrong way. I mean, the woman is staying in private homes and castles while sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in the UK â&#x20AC;&#x201D; not hotels, mind you. These are homes in which the staff has been doing it their way for decades. And Barbra swoops in demanding they change their method of doing business overnight?

Lady, your last album wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t that good.

Why donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t you hole up in Malibu with your 4-ply and your rose petals and leave the rest of the world alone?

On to a few divas of a different ilk. The Emmy nominations are out, and I am thrilled beyond words to report that so many of my favorite TV divas received nominations. God bless the gays of Hollywood for taking women who had their heyday in the â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s and â&#x20AC;&#x2122;90s, writing them some deliciously meaty characters, and giving these womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s careers a jolt of adrenaline.

Judith Light and Vanessa Williams both scored nominations for their work on Ugly Betty â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Light as a Guest Actress in a Comedy Series and Williams in the Supporting Actress category. Judith Light is one of the most underrated actresses in the business.

Long before her work on Whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the Boss?, she scored back-to-back Emmys for her stint as a prostitute Karen Wolek on One Life to Live. She played to packed houses in the off-Broadway drama Wit, and now, she has stumbled on what is perhaps the juiciest role of her career as alcoholic fugitive Claire Meade on Betty. Vanessa Williams is, without question, playing the best role of her career. Wilhelmina Slater is the Alexis Carrington-like diva fashionista of the fictional Mode Magazine.

And the names donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stop there. They include women like Dixie Carter and Laurie Metcalf, who not only made the third season of Desperate Housewives better than the second, but managed to eclipse series regulars like Teri Hatcher and Eva Longoria and turn in the two best performances of the showâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s last season.

Jean Smart returned to 24 for one episode only to fall completely off her rocker and stab her ex-husband. And on Brothers & Sisters, 60-year-old Sally Field is allowed to do the quality of work that nabbed her two Oscars.

Though movie producers continually dial Meryl when the role calls for the best actress over 50, Field has reminded us, in one season, that Meryl is not in a league of her own. Fieldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s portrayal of widow Nora Walker coming to terms with her loving husbandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lifelong deception is the best damn acting on television today. She makes you laugh, she makes you cry, and gays and lesbians everywhere could only hope to have a mother like her.

3 0  Q S A LT L A K E  I S S U E 8 3  A u g us t 1, 2 0 0 7

Rox Box

By Mikey Rox

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When gay icon Marc Almond – one-half of Britain’s first successful electro-duo, Soft Cell – was involved in a near-fatal motorcycle crash in 2004, his solo career was all but over.

Ever the fighter, though, Almond bounced back remarkably and is determined to regain his status as the prescient singer/songwriter he once was.

Though he realizes many aspects of life will never be the same, Almond retains his rosecolored outlook on life, which shines through the song choices for his inspired and personal new release, Stardom Road. A collection of cover songs, Stardom Road embodies the diverse musical influences that have shaped Almond’s life, including Johnny Ray’s “Cry”; “London Boys,”

by David Bowie; “Dream Lover,” originally an up-tempo classic by Bobby Darin; and the very close-to-home “I Have Lived,” which Almond says is a celebration of life itself, “embracing the Joie de Vivre, seeking neither redemption nor forgiveness on the day of reckoning.” The only non-cover on the album, “Beauty Will Redeem the World” – a quote attributed to Dostoevsky, suggesting that sometimes compromise will set you free – is the first song Almond has penned since the accident. “Beauty will perhaps save us all,” said the celebrated survivor about the track.

And he should know.

You may not’ve heard of Mark Ronson, but you’ll definitely like his work. That’s because in the past few years, the British-born, NYC-based ex-pat has had his hands in all things hot, including new tracks for Christina Aguilera, Nikka Costa, Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse. But those muchbuzzed-about releases are just a sampling of what this musical auteur is capable. On his sophomore solo album Version – his first, 2003’s Here Comes the Fuzz, was shamefully ignored – Ronson uses his own re-interpretive style to give new legs to fading-fast pop songs. This album isn’t anything if not impressively eclectic with the irrepressible talents of Dirt McGirt spittin’ verse over Britney’s “Toxic”; Robbie Williams nailing The Charlatans’ seminal “Only One I Know”; and Lily Allen opening up a little wider on “Oh My God”, originally by The Kaiser Chiefs. “With my first album,” says Ronson, “I had all these people like Mos Def and M.O.P. guesting. This time it’s not about that. With Version, I’ve taken these songs that I love and turned them into Motown/Stax ’70s versions.”

Because, well, why not make money off of some else’s hits?

Akin to his father, Enrique Iglesias is quietly becoming one of the most successful artists in the history of pop music. Don’t believe it? Consider this: the Spanish singer has released only two #1 hits in the United States, the last of which was “Be With You” in 2000.

Still, he’s sold more than 40 million records in just over a decade – nearly as many as ZZ Top, but in half the time. Iglesias’ latest record, Insomniac – his eighth – is a humorous nod to the sleepless nights and obsessive detail that was poured into the three-year project, which at its beginning sounded nothing like it does today. In its final incarnation, the disc contains 12 songs in English and three Spanish-language tracks, all of which were conservatively hand-picked from a pool of about 35 songs written and recorded for the album. Among those that made the cut are standouts such as “Push,” a hip-hop hinged collaboration with rapper Lil’ Wayne, and “Ring My Bell,” a volatile ballad that Iglesias penned with Swedish composer Kristian Lundin, in Los Angeles. If his past success is any indication, Insomniac is poised to carry this Latin lover over the 50-plus-million sold threshold, which includes legendary artists like Bob Marley and Duran Duran. Not bad for someone who blatantly admits to having a severely small penis.

When Beyoncé decided to go solo in 2002, it was a fair bet that Destiny’s stepchild Kelly Rowland would follow in the footsteps of another abandoned band mate, ’N SYNC’s JC Chasez – trying but never really succeeding as a solo artist. Not so.

Rowland released her first album, Simply Deep, in 2002, proving that she had star power of her own when it produced the chart-topping, Grammy-winning single “Dilemma.” After a half-decade hiatus, Rowland returns with her eagerly awaited follow-up, Ms. Kelly, a playful and passionate album featuring hip-hop’s heaviest hitters. Bass-blessed first single “Like This,” assisted by rapper Eve, kicks off the album with attitude, sending two snaps and a smack to all the ‘playas’ out there. And on the Tankproduced, Snoop Dog collabo “Ghetto,” Rowland speaks to good girls who dig bad boys, which is balanced by the emotional candor and strong vocal showing of final track “This is Love,” a mid-tempo coda to an otherwise upbeat collection. “I wanted my new record to sound as young as I feel, so that’s what I focused on,” said Rowland, 25. Which – let’s hope – doesn’t include the hair-tossing, wall-humping tactics employed by her former, more famous performing partner.

Who is Mikey Rox? Who gives a fuck! But you can visit him at myspace.com/roxmikey.

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Q Wheels 2008 Scion xB

by Joe LaMuraglia

Have you ever met someone and immediately disliked them only to become BFFs later on? It was a similar story with me and the new 2008 Scion xB. Like a good looking guy that you see across the bar only to be let down when he starts talking, the newest Scion’s larger, more rounded mobile box impressed me from afar but my initial interaction with it left me wanting more.

Immediately after delivery to Gaywheels.com’s global HQ, I jumped in the Scion to run errands around Atlanta.

Perhaps it was the juxtaposition of the yet-to-be reviewed luxury SUV I was driving before it but the Scion felt light, tinny and downright skittish. My initial impression was magnified when I made the drive to Nashville later that day. While the new 2.4L, 158 HP engine was a welcome upgrade from the old xB and provided good performance, the car was susceptible to side-winds on the highway, loud at speed and in-need of an additional gear in the 4-speed automatic transmission to keep from the incessant down shifting when traversing the large hills between here and Music City. On top of all that, I only averaged 24 MPG — not much better than some large SUVs I’ve recently reviewed.

What a difference a few days make. As I spent more time in the xB, I realized that at an as-tested $17,878.53, it wasn’t a bad car. Furthermore, for the people that Scion designed this vehicle, it was probably an awesome car. Scion was created as a division of Toyota to appeal to the younger generation. They came out of the gate with the original xB and the nowdefunct xA thinking that the xB would be the less-popular vehicle. The reality was the funky little boxlet appealed to the younger driver and they bought the xB over the xA in droves. What appealed to them? The funky styling, the killer stereos, room for all their friends and the seemingly endless customization potential. Oh yeah, it’s affordable too.

The new xB maintains all the attributes of its predecessor and adds the aforementioned engine upgrade along

with a larger, arguably more mainstream body style. What bothered me as a 39year old, balding, slightly overweight, stressed-out entrepreneur wouldn’t even register with the 18–25-year old target customer. Any noise would be drowned out by the music playing from their iPod through one of the three available stereos via the integrated jack in the center console. They’d likely have their friends with them most of the time which would negate the bouncy ride and statistically, the target customer doesn’t make long road trips on a weekly basis so MPG and cruising comfort isn’t high on their importance list.

The turning point in my relationship with the xB was during the first stage of moving my possessions to Tennessee. As usual, I underestimated the amount of “stuff” I’ve accumulated in the two years

of living in Atlanta. When my partner and I started to group things to move to the new abode, I quickly realized that more than one trip was required and that we needed to take advantage of the xB’s cargo capacity in addition to that of his Infiniti FX35. An executive decision was made and we set out to pack the vehicles and head back to Nashville a day early. As I folded the front seat back and the rear seats forward, I quickly came to terms with the best feature of this vehicle—it can carry a LOT of stuff. What fit in the Scion simply dwarfed the cargo capacity of the Infiniti and I had visions of being twentysomething and heading out with friends for a weekend. On top of the amazing amount of crap we fit in the xB, the return trip to Tennessee was smooth, quiet and I actually averaged 30 MPG. You’ve heard of method acting, right? Well, from now on, I’m going to practice method driving—doing my best to do what the target customer would do.

In the case of the Scion xB, it definitely made me re-think the box.

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Get pricing information on the Scion xB in the GayWheels.com New Car Section. Scion is a gay-friendly company.

2

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Below Blue Book: $2,791

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1Copyright © 2007 by Kelley Blue Book Co., Inc. (May/June, 2007 Northwest Edition). All Rights Reserved. Blue Book is a trademark of Kelley Blue Book Co., Inc. The specific information required to determine the value for each vehicle is supplied by the dealer (or by a third party on behalf of the dealer). Vehicle valuations are approximations and vary by vehicle, region, mileage, condition and vehicle options. Kelley Blue Book assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions. 2Prices valid 7/1/07 through 8/31/07 and do not include tax, title, tags, document processing fees of $149 or less, governmental fees, any emissions testing charges, and any finance charges (if applicable). Pictures are representative of vehicles available. Used vehicles previously part of Enterprise short-term rental and lease fleet or purchase by Enterprise from other sources including auto auctions, with previous use possibly short-term rental, lease or other. For VIN or stock number, see enterprisecarsales.com or visit each participating Enterprise Car Sales location.

The “e” logo, Enterprise, and “Haggle-free buying. Worry-free ownership.” are trademarks of the Enterprise Rent-A-Car Company. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners. ©2007 Enterprise Rent-A-Car Company.

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32  Q S A LT L A K E  I S S U E 8 3  A u g us t 1, 2 0 0 7

Q Travels

The Gay-owned Burgundy Bed and Breakfast

Back in the Big Easy

by Zachary Mikles

D Q e t T $ a c a l a

A a I r W

M New Orleans has long been one of my favorite cities. More than just a non-stop party, The Crescent City is the birthplace a B of two of the only truly American art forms: Jazz music and Cajun cuisine. Post-Katrina, the future of the City That Care Forgot looked bleak: New Orleans seemed to be the city that we wanted to forget. A year and a half later, the city still struggles with negative media coverage – but don’t tell that to those who live, work, and love this gem of the South.

Clean (and quiet by day) the French Quarter has certainly come back to life. Everywhere there are signs of new development, from booming Real Estate sales (down slightly from 1st place to 4th for appreciating housing markets nationally) to refurbishments of favorite city eateries and hotels. Nighttime brings more crowds – it is always a time for celebration in this Queen’s City – but during this time of rebirth, it’s now much easier to find a good table at even the most popular restaurants and clubs. May and June are still wonderful times W to visit – right before the summer swelter of July and August. h But August brings the Satchmo Summer Fest, (www.french- e quarter.com) which is definitely worth the infamous southern 1 humidity. r Best of all, visiting New Orleans right now is a travel barn gain. Charming well-appointed choices abound in the French A Quarter, particularly Hotel St. Marie, Place D’Armes Hotel, c and the Prince Conti Hotel. All of these boutique hotels are gay- C friendly in the extreme, and have retained their southern hos- s pitality, while some other hotels have suffered in that respect. a The Hotel St. Marie in particular is graciously elegant, while D the Place D’Armes is literally steps away from the gauntlet of gay bars – the ever present Bourbon Pub, Oz and of course, Lafitte’s in Exile. Prince Conti is also well situated and quiet in the extreme.

Those who like cozy bed and breakfasts will appreciate The Burgundy Bed & Breakfast in the Faubourg Marigny, just a few blocks from the French Quarter (theburgundy.com) Good meals abound in the city, from Johnny’s (511 St. Louis St.) for the best Po-Boys in town, to all-around great meals at Pere Antoine’s (741 Royal St.). In fact, there are so many amazing restaurants in this town, you can go have a Hurricane, a Daiquiri, and a Hand Grenade(don’t have more than one!) and still fall into a great bowl of red beans and rice completely by accident.

Laissez les bon temps roulez – again!

For more information on great destinations and our upcoming Southern Decadence Giveaway, sign up for the Gaytravel.com e‑Newsletter at www.gaytravel.com.

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Call 801-649-6663 _ _ _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ today to get started. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Puzzle solutions are on page 37.

7 Shakespearean verb ending 8 Lake site of gay and lesbian ski week 9 Becomes erect 10 Thurman of Even Cowgirls Get the Blues 11 Locale of valuable stones 12 French leather 13 Love of Lesbos 19 Desire Under the ___ 21 Land of writer E. Donoghue 25 See 64-Across 26 Hit for Donna Summer 28 Earhartâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s milieu 29 Horny sound 31 Circumcision, e.g.

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34 Sally portrayer of Cabaret

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45 One of four Toys in Babeland sites 49 Poet ___ Wu 51 Caesarâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s X 53 Character of girl George?

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63 Manhandle, with â&#x20AC;&#x153;withâ&#x20AC;?

65 Cole Porter, for one 66 Coll. of Phil Andros

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Gay Guyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Guide to Oral Sex

By Joseph Dewey joseph@qsaltlake.com

I was watching porn.

The cameraman asked the girl, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your blow job technique?â&#x20AC;?

She said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I twist the head of the guyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s penis.â&#x20AC;? Seriously, that sounds painful.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m glad women Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve met donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have very good torque strength in their hands or mouths.

Being straight means Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m going to get substandard blow jobs for the rest of my life. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m okay with that. But Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen gay guys suck on fingers. And eat bananas.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s disgusting, really, how good gay men are at eating bananas. I wish straight women could eat bananas that skillfully.

Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s why Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m writing this. If all the women I know read this column, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll get better blow jobs.

So, I interviewed a dozen gay dudes, asking tons of questions about blow jobs. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what I found.

Everybody screamed, â&#x20AC;&#x153;No teeth!â&#x20AC;? I think my ears are still ringing from the yell of â&#x20AC;&#x153;No teeth!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re sharp, hard, pointy things that donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel good on a penis,â&#x20AC;? one guy said with a little too much emotion.

Another common theme was â&#x20AC;&#x153;everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s different.â&#x20AC;? Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s surprising, because Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve heard dudes are all the same, wanting only one thing. Guys probably do want just one thing, but they want it their own way. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Slow and sensualâ&#x20AC;? was one blow job tip. Another guy said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a whole buffet down there, a veritable selection of pleasures, everything from the bush, the ball sac, the top of the legs.â&#x20AC;? It seems foreplay is important to guys. But after the foreplay, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all about â&#x20AC;&#x153;going in after it, with fervor.â&#x20AC;?

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve thought blow jobs are unfortunately named. Guys would get better head if they were called suck jobs. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Suck like youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a vacuum cleanerâ&#x20AC;? confirmed that. The more fervently you suck, the faster the guy gets off. One guy â&#x20AC;&#x153;came in only 60 seconds from a guy who could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.â&#x20AC;?

When a girl swallows with me, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

Everybody Screamed â&#x20AC;&#x153;No Teeth!â&#x20AC;?

Solutions, from p. 29

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Sex columnist Joseph Dewey is a straight guy, but we wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hold it against him.

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Q Sex

surprising. I want to tell her, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Spit it out, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not good for you.â&#x20AC;? But itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s so cool she swallowed, I just say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wow.â&#x20AC;? I was curious if guys swallow. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Only 20 percent swallow,â&#x20AC;? said a recipient of dozens of blow jobs. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a line Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure was borrowed from straight guys: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s actually safer if you swallow, viruses canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t survive in your stomach.â&#x20AC;? Straight men are always trying to convince girls to do crazy things.

People had a wide variety of preference on penis size, wanting everything from â&#x20AC;&#x153;perfectly sized,â&#x20AC;? meaning small, to â&#x20AC;&#x153;very big, fat and long.â&#x20AC;? It seems for every dick out there, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a dude who wants to suck on it. One guy said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sometimes impotence can be really hot. I can fit the whole thing in my mouth, the ball sac and penis, and suck it to death.â&#x20AC;?

I got a lot of advice on how not to gag, from â&#x20AC;&#x153;Put salt on the back of your tongue,â&#x20AC;? to â&#x20AC;&#x153;If you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re doing with your tongue, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll get gag reflexâ&#x20AC;? to â&#x20AC;&#x153;If Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m drunk, trying to deep throat, I totally choke, throwing up all over.â&#x20AC;?

Asking about bad experiences with oral sex, I expected more experiences with women. Since weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in Utah, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tremendous pressure for men to try women. Of the twelve, only one bad experience was with a woman. I guess gay guys really donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t go down on women.

Asking about good experiences, three said their best experience was during hot, sweaty hiking. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have anything to do with the way he gave oral sex, but the adventure of doing it.â&#x20AC;?

In contrast, there are clean freaks out there who donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like hot, sweaty dicks.

One dude said every guy will respond to, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll suck your dick while we shower together.â&#x20AC;?

The coolest advice was, â&#x20AC;&#x153;If you like kissing him, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to enjoy giving him a blow job. If you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like kissing him, you wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like the blow job.â&#x20AC;? Note to self: If I kiss better, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll get more blow jobs.

A few men had powerful experiences with blow jobs from â&#x20AC;&#x153;being dizzy for five minutesâ&#x20AC;? to â&#x20AC;&#x153;going blind temporarily.â&#x20AC;?

My experience with women has been nice, but doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t compare: Women have a lot to learn about going down on a man.

Straight women, stop shopping with your gay friend. Instead, take him to Leatherbyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, buy him a banana split and take notes. Q

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