QSaltLake Magazine - September 01, 2007

SEPTEMBER 1, 2007

ISSUE 85

Gay Utahn to Play Survivor China Full schedule of panels and seminars for August 24–26 UAF event

Idaho Senator Guilty of Disorderly Conduct Has denied being gay for 25 years

UofU, BYU Called Least Gay-Friendly Schools Voucher Proponents Using Gay Wedge Issue Tactics Primary Elections Sept. 11

‘Queen of Mean’ Leona Helmsley Dies Merv Griffin Outed Post-Mortem ‘Spamalot’ Review Lady Bunny: He-Da-Ho from Idaho The Gay Agenda

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Gay Jesus Photos Spark Violence in Sweden

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Editor-in-Chief

Michael Aaron Assistant Editor

JoSelle Vanderhooft Arts Editor

Tony Hobday CONTRIBUTORS

J. W. Arnold | Lynn Beltran Shane Cassidy | Anthony Cuesta Joseph Dewey | Troy Espera Nancy Goldstein | Ruth Hackford-Peer F. Daniel Kent | Joe LaMuraglia Zachary Mikles | Ruby Ridge Mikey Rox | David Samsel Ryan Shattuck | Ross Von Metzke William Simmons | Dylan Vox Duane Wells | Ben Williams Troy Williams | Amy Wooten PHOTOGRAPHERS

Delaney Pederson William Munk Kim Russo SALES

Michael Aaron JoSelle Vanderhooft OFFICE MANAGER

Tony Hobday DISTRIBUTION

Manuel Hernandez Gary Horenkamp Courtney Moser PUBLISHER

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News

World and National

Harassment of HIV/AIDS Activists Intensifies in China NEW YORK CITY — The Chinese government’s ongoing harassment of HIV/AIDS activists and intensified surveillance of AIDS support groups raises serious questions about its commitment to combating the illness, Human Rights Watch said in a statement released on Aug. 21.

Over the past three weeks, police have forced the cancellation of three separate meetings on HIV/AIDS in the city of Guangzhou in Guangdong province and Kaifeng in Henan province.

The latest round of government pressure began late last month when Public Security Bureau officers in Guangdong province stopped a conference of Chinese and foreign HIV/AIDS experts on bolstering the legal rights of people living with HIV/AIDS. The Public Security Bureau justified the cancellation of the meeting, organized by New York-based nongovernmental organization Asia Catalyst, on the grounds that it involved topics considered “too sensitive” for public discussion.

The Chinese government has a long history of persecuting people living with HIV and obstructing activists dedicated to supporting them.

In the 1990s, Henan provincial authori-

ties encouraged hundreds of thousands of low-income farmers to sell their blood, from which lucrative plasma was isolated and sold on the global market. To prevent anemia among frequent blood donors, the red cells left when the plasma was separated from the blood were pooled and re-injected into the donors’ arms without being screened for HIV or other bloodborne diseases.

The central government acknowledged the problem in the late 1990s and ordered the phasing out of the blood collection centers, but many continued to operate.

It is estimated that thousands of rural dwellers died, in some cases virtually wiping out whole villages.

More recently, the Chinese government has strengthened legislation related to HIV/AIDS, including guaranteeing access to antiretroviral drugs, providing protection from discrimination and rapidly expanding access to methadone therapy for injection drug users. Despite the Chinese government’s promise that the prevention and treatment of HIV/ AIDS is now a national priority, HIV/ AIDS activists remain targets for repression by China’s security agencies.

Image by Elisabeth Ohlson Wallin that sparked violence at a Swedish art show.

Gay Jesus Photos Spark Violence in Sweden STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN — Violence broke out Aug. 12 over a Swedish art show featuring works that depicted Jesus Christ in a contemporary queer context.

The fight began at the cultural center hosting the exhibit when a group of young people tried to set fire to a poster.

Staff intervened and as many as 30 people joined the fight. The conflict occurred in the Swedish city of Jonkoping, known as a center of evangelical Christianity.

The offending poster was part of Swedish photographer Elisabeth Ohlson Wallin’s “Ecce Homo” series, which puts Jesus into a contemporary lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender context.

They also appear in her new book Art That Dares: Gay Jesus, Woman Christ and More and on the Web site JesusInLove.org “The violence in Sweden is the latest example of why the queer Christ is

needed,” said lesbian author Cherry.

“People try to censor the gay Jesus, but I compiled a queer Christ images book to show that Christ belongs to everybody, even the sexual outcasts. Jesus taught love, but now Christian rhetoric is being used to justify hate and discrimination against women and lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.”

“Art That Dares” features color images by 11 contemporary artists who tell the stories behind their images, including issues of censorship, hate mail, violence, death threats and vandalism of their work.

In addition to the Swedish photos, the work in Art That Dares includes a 24-panel gay vision of the Passion by New York painter F. Douglas Blanchard and the notorious “faggot crucifixion” painting by Atlanta’s Becki Jayne Harrelson.

Activist: New Guinea AIDS Patients Buried Alive Papua, New Guinea — New Guinea officials say they are investigating claims by an HIV activist that people with AIDS were buried alive by relatives when they became too ill to care for.

Margaret Marabe, who spent five months working to raise awareness about the disease in the South Pacific nation’s remote Southern Highlands province, said she had seen AIDS patients buried alive. “I saw three people with my own eyes,�

Marabe told the Post Courier in Papua,

New Guinea. “When they got very sick and people could not look after them, they buried them.�

The acting director of Papua New Guinea’s National AIDS Council, Romanus Pakure, said police and health workers were being sent to the Southern Highlands to investigate the claims.

However, he questioned why Marabe had not approached the police before taking her story to the media. “The lady may be a loose cannon; we are not happy it’s come out like this,� he said.

Reuters Backs Off Merv Griffin Outing Editorial

By Anthony Cuesta

Los Angeles — On Aug. 17 Reuters news service dropped an editorial that dug into the closeted past of late entertainment mogul Merv Griffin, after receiving protests that the piece was “a way to punch a dead man in the stomach.�

Originally published in The Hollywood Reporter, the article’s opening line read, “Merv Griffin was gay,� and continued: “Merv’s secret gay life was widely known throughout showbiz culture, if not the wider America. It gained traction in 1991 when he was targeted in a pair of lawsuits: by Dance Fever host Denny Terrio, alleging sexual harassment; and by assistant Brent Plott, seeking $200 million in palimony. Both ultimately were dismissed. “Over the past 16 years of his life, however, Griffin deflected the sexuality questions with a quip, determining that his private life remained nobody’s business.�

Reuters subsequently ran the story and sourced it as part of its normal entertainment feed. The news service later pulled it with this explanation: “This was a story from The Hollywood Reporter that ran as part of a Reuters news feed. We have dropped the story from our entertainment news feed as it did not meet our standards for news. GBU Editor.�

Griffin died of cancer Aug. 12 at age 82.

Many obituaries filed at that time had noted, in passing, the sexual harassment and palimony suits but did not offer detailed explanations. Only the New York Times mentioned Griffin’s sexual orientation.

“Mr. Griffin consistently evaded answering questions about his sexuality,� wrote the Times. “In a 2005 interview with The New York Times, he said: ‘I tell everybody that I’m a quartre-sexual. I will do anything with anybody for a quarter.’�

Smithsonian Shows Gay Artifacts Washington, D.C. — The Smithsonian National Museum of American History in Washington is now displaying a collection of artifacts from long-time gay activist Frank Kameny.

The Frank Kameny Collection includes such objects as the protest signs from the 1960s demonstrations in Washington and Philadelphia, gay rights buttons with Kameny’s famous phrase “Gay Is Good� and a photograph of picketers in front of the White House in 1965, a protest which Kameny helped organize. “This is the first time the Smithsonian has ever included displays of gay civil rights artifacts,� said Witeck-Combs Communications CEO Bob Witeck. “This exhibit gives [the gay rights] story equal treatment alongside other movements.�

Kameny’s artifacts are part of the “Treasures of American History� exhibit which includes such historic American objects as the Greensboro, N.C., lunch counter from the 1960 desegregation protest, the ruby slippers worn by Judy Garland in “The Wizard of Oz,� Abraham Lincoln’s top hat and Thomas Edison’s light bulb.

The Smithsonian calls each of the objects “a treasure of American history.�

The exhibit ends Oct. 29. Q

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News

HRC Announces National Coming Out Day 2007

National & Regional

Marriage Lawsuit Advances to Calif. Supreme Court San Francisco — In briefs filed on Aug. 17 with the California Supreme Court, the American Civil Liberties Union, the National Center for Lesbian Rights and Lambda Legal argue that California has violated its own constitution by denying same-sex couples the freedom to marry.

“Marriage validates relationships and strengthens California families by honoring the commitments of every loving couple,” said EQCA Executive Director Geoff Kors. “We have already learned that domestic partnerships and civil unions cannot replace the critical legal protections, universal recognition and dignity that marriage affords. Excluding same-sex couples from marriage denies countless couples legal recognition of the love they share.”

The organizations filed the briefs in the coordinated marriage cases now before the California Supreme Court. They respond to arguments presented by the state of California, which is defending the discriminatory law, and to four supplemental questions asked by the California Supreme Court on June 20. NCLR, Lambda Legal, the ACLU, Heller Ehrman LLP and the Law Office of David C. Codell represent 15 same-sex couples, Equality California and Our Family Coalition.

The California Supreme Court agreed to hear the case last year after the California Court of Appeal reversed a decision by San Francisco Superior Court Judge Richard A. Kramer. Kramer ruled that barring same-sex couples from marriage unconstitutionally discriminates on the basis of sex and violates the fundamental right to marry.

On Sept. 17, more than 250 religious and civil rights organizations, including the California NAACP, Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund, California Council of Churches,

Asian Pacific American Legal Center and National Black Justice Coalition, will file friend-of-the-court briefs in support of marriage for same-sex couples. The briefing process will conclude with responses to these amicus briefs, which are due October. The court will set oral arguments at the conclusion of the briefing.

The 15 represented couples have made life-long commitments to each other.

They include Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin who have been together more than 50 years and Karen Shane and Judy Sokolower who have been together more than 30 years. The couples come from across the state and from all careers and walks of life. Many are raising children together. Others are retired.

The Supreme Court is considering six marriage cases under the title In re Marriage Cases. The briefs and other information about the case are available at LambdaLegal.org.

Man Says He Was Fired For Being Straight

By Dylan Vox

Los Angeles — In a major twist to a discrimination case, the former executive director of AIDS/LifeCycle fundraiser filed suit against the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center and the San Francisco AIDS Foundation on Aug. 23, alleging that he was fired from his position because he was not gay. are both implicated in the alleged discrimination case.

Jeffrey Shapiro was hired earlier this year to help organize the 2007 AIDS/ Lifecycle event. The event, which just celebrated its fifth year, is a 545-mile cycling excursion down the coastline from San Francisco to Los Angeles. All proceeds and donations go to raise money for AIDS and HIV research. This year a reported 2,700 participants raised a record $11 million, three million more than last year.

In the lawsuit, Shapiro claims that leaders from both nonprofit organizations met with Shapiro and announced that they were firing him because while “everybody liked him as a person ... they needed somebody who better fit into the culture.” The lawsuit also alleges that the leaders said they had “made a mistake” in thinking that the hiring could work.

Shapiro was given two weeks pay, and his position was terminated immediately.

Shapiro’s suit against the two organizations alleges sexual orientation discrimination and intentional infliction of emotional distress. He is seeking compensatory and punitive damages against the two groups along with an injunction preventing them from participating in further discriminatory practices.

Jim Key, the public affairs director for the Los Angeles center, told Gay.com that “the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center and the San Francisco AIDS Foundation never have and never would terminate someone on the basis of their sexual orientation or gender identity.”

Both organizations have refused further comment, except to say they have a diverse staff consisting of straight and gay members. Q

Washington, D.C. — The Human Rights Campaign announced the theme for National Coming Out Day 2007 as “Talk About It,” continuing the slogan and branding that the national program has been building around the day since 2005.

This year’s event will also mark an important anniversary. National Coming Out Day, held annually on Oct. 11, falls on the 20th anniversary of the 1987 Gay and Lesbian March on Washington, and the unfurling of the AIDS Quilt on the National Mall. National Coming Out Day was celebrated a year to the day later as a way of continuing the spirit of openness, honesty and visibility that the March and the AIDS Quilt presentations inspired.

“Twenty years ago as the AIDS crisis was raging, coming out was literally a matter of life and death,” Mark Shields, director of HRC’s Coming Out Project.

“In many ways, we have come a very long way in a relatively short time, and yet that lesson still resonates deeply today.

Coming out and living openly is the most important thing that gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and straight supportive Americans can do to build lasting understanding and equality.”

Today, nearly three-quarters (72 percent) of Americans say they know or work with someone who identifies as gay or lesbian, according to Peter D. Hart Research Associates, Inc. In 1987, only 11 percent claimed that they associated with a “male homosexual” on a regular basis, according to ABC News and the Washington Post.

Additional plans for a national project celebrating National Coming Out Day this year are expected to be announced in mid-September.

‘Queen of Mean’ Leona Helmsley Dies

By Ross von Metzke

Los Angeles — She was as famous for her hotel holdings as she was for the razor sharp comments that allegedly came out of her mouth, but no matter how the press painted Leona Helmsley, one thing she did not do was go quietly into the night.

The New York hotelier died of heart failure on Aug. 20 at 87 years of age, leaving behind a legacy of accusations, jail time and discrimination charges that dubbed the bilLeona Helmsley lionaire (heiress by some accounts) the “queen of mean.”

Alongside her husband Harry, Helmsley ran a more than $5 billion empire that at one time included the Empire State Building. They also owned the Park Lane Hotel and the Harley Hotel chain.

While Helmsley was regarded as a shrewd business woman, she was painted

as a woman you didn’t want to cross.

Perhaps Helmsley’s most infamous quote, one she denied to the press on numerous occasions, was leaked by a former housekeeper. The ex-employee claims she once heard Helmsley say: “We don’t pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes.”

Ironically, according to United Press International, Helmsley was convicted of federal tax evasion in 1989 and served 18 months in prison. Then-U.S. Attorney Rudy Giuliani helped to put her away.

Helmsley added the gay community to the list of people she maligned in 2002 when she was ordered to pay $11 million in damages to former employee Charles Bell, who claimed Helmsley fired him because he was gay. A judge later reduced the fine to just over a half a million dollars. Helmsley never outwardly denied the allegations.

Helmsley’s volatile relationship with competing billionaire tycoon Donald Trump was also well documented in the press. According to a 2001 article in Forbes Magazine, “No two billionaires loathe each other on a personal level more than The Donald and The Queen of Mean.”

Lesbian Ogden Native Starts Pet Crematorium Decatur, Ga. — Shortly after her beloved tea cup poodle died in February 2004, former Ogden resident Christine Hunsaker recalls feeling alone and overwhelmed.

“It was devastating for my partner and I, and we were very heartbroken,” says Hunsaker, who now resides in Decatur, Ga. We couldn’t get anyone to call us back, and our experience was very difficult.”

To make the days after a pet’s death easier for grieving owners, Hunsaker opened the pet crematorium Paws, Whiskers & Wags in June 2005. Since then, a large portrait of her departed dog, Casey, has greeted more than 6,000 pets and their owners.

Hunsaker, who worked in the human cremation business for 20 years, first advertised her business at Atlanta Gay Pride in 2005. Currently, most of her clients are gay and lesbian, a population of pet owners whom Hunsaker thinks share a special bond with their pets.

“A lot of us haven’t had the opportunity to have kids, and our pets are our kids,” she says.

As an example of this bond, Hunsaker tells of a gay man who recently brought his German Shepherd into the crematori-

um. His partner had been cremated four years ago, and the man had promised to scatter man and dog’s ashes across their favorite places.

“Now he’s going to go to the mountains and have a party with his friends and put them together, per his partner’s wish,” Hunsaker says.­­­­

Ariz. Gay Camping Resort Opens

Bisbee, A riz. — Southern Arizona’s first private, members only, gay and lesbian camping resort opens its gates to campers aged 21 and over this Labor Day Weekend.

Located in the Sulphur Springs Valley outside of Bisbee, David’s Oasis Camping Resort is a 120-acre ranch overlooking the valley that can accommodate both tents and RVs. Its recreation area includes a beer and wine bar, hot tub, volleyball court, horseshoe pits and Wi-Fi access. Tent rentals, day use passes and continental breakfasts for campers are also available.

For membership information and directions, visit azgaycamping.com or contact Reg Yaple at 800-557-3339 or ­azgaycamping@yahoo.com

Police photos of Idaho Senator Larry Craig as he was arrested for lewd behavior in an airport men’s room.

Idaho Senator Denies Being Gay After Pleading Guilty to Disorderly Conduct

by Michael Aaron

michael@qsaltlake.com

into Union Station one day, I made eye contact with a well-dressed older gentleman whom I recognized as Sen. Craig.

We, after having made eye contact for 30 seconds or so, we began walking towards one of the restrooms in Union Station.

“I followed him in there. We went to the urinals, where we both unzipped ...

The restroom became busy, too busy to do anything. So we zipped up and then followed each other to the second restroom in Union Station, where we began the same process. And had a -- I also performed fellatio for a very, very short amount of time, as that restroom became busy as well. At that point we both zipped up and left and went on our separate ways,” he said in a recorded interview.

BlogActive’s Michael Rogers claims he also interviewed two others in “the Pacific Northwest” who claimed to have had sexual relations with Craig.

Mitt Romney dropped him late Monday night, Aug. 27, as the Senate co-chair of his presidential campaign.

“People who are elected to public office continue to disappoint. They somehow think that if they vote the right way on issues of significance or they can speak a good game, that we’ll just forgive and forget,” Romney said on CNBC. “It’s disgusting.”

Craig, 62, is up for reelection next year.

It is unclear at this time if he will run. Q

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Boise, Idaho — “I am not gay. I never have been gay,” Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID) said at a press conference in Idaho Wednesday morning, Aug. 29, where he apologized to friends, family, staff and fellow Idahoans for the “cloud placed over Idaho.”

Craig has adamantly maintained that he “did nothing wrong” in a Minneapolis airport last June, when an officer charged that he propositioned him and invaded his privacy.

Craig immediately pleaded guilty to charges of disorderly conduct, which he said he “deeply regretted” during his short press conference. He claimed that he made the decision in an effort to avoid attention. The Idaho Statesman newspaper has repeatedly run scathing articles accusing the senator of being a closeted homosexual.

In 1982, Craig denied similar allegations after being implicated in a House page scandal. At the time, news outlets were surprised at how quickly he moved in with a preemptive “I did nothing wrong” statement.

In October of last year, Michael Rogers of BlogActive made public allegations that he had statements from three individuals who had engaged in sex with the senator.

Craig called the claims “ludicrous.”

Rogers’ allegations, however, caught the eye of the Idaho Statesman, which sent reporter Dan Popkey to Washington, D.C. and parts of Idaho to interview anyone and everyone related to Craig. After five months and over 300 interviews, Popkey’s story never made ink — until it was revealed that the senator had been arrested.

The senator has continuously voted against gay rights and has earned a zero rating from the Human Rights Campaign, a D.C.-based gay rights group, based in part on his opposition to same-sex marriage and support for a constitutional amendment defining marriage as “between a man and a woman.”

“While he’s reflecting on his latest actions,” said Joe Solomonese, campaign president, told the Washington Post, “maybe he’ll finally realize that standing in the way of equality and being hypocritical with his politics is wrong for the country.”

Senate Republican leaders, including Mitch McConnell, Trent Lott and Jon Kyl, have called for an investigation by the House ethics committee. Craig has stepped down from his leadership position Bryan Fischer, executive director of

the Idaho Values Alliance — a group which has had a love-fest with Craig through his career — called for Craig’s resignation after the senator’s statement.

“His comments were unconvincing and unpersuasive,” he said in a statement.

“His failure to provide a convincing alternative leaves observers with little choice but to come to the conclusion that his guilty plea was in fact an acknowledgement on his part that he engaged in inappropriate behavior.”

Craig was arrested

by Sgt. Dave Karsnia, who was investigating complaints regarding sexual activity in the men’s room at the Minneapolis airport.

Police had made “numerous arrests” there in connection with sexual activity.

Sgt. Dave Karsnia Karsnia entered the restroom at noon on June 11. A few minutes after taking a seat in a stall, Karsnia said he saw a man, who turned out to be Craig, lingering outside the stall.

“I could see Craig look through the crack in the door from his position,” Karsnia wrote. Craig then took the stall next to Karsnia, placing his roller bag against the front of the stall door.

“My experience has showed that individuals engaging in lewd conduct use their bags to block the view from the front of their stall,” Karsnia wrote.

“At 1216 hours, Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moves his foot closer to my foot. I moved my foot up and down slowly. While this was occurring, the male in the stall to my right was still present. I could hear several unknown persons in the restroom that appeared to use the restroom for its intended use. The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area.”

Craig then swiped his hand under the stall divider toward Karsnia, wrote the officer. Karsnia then held his police identification down by the floor so Craig could see it. “With my left hand near the floor, I pointed towards the exit. Craig responded, ‘No!’ I again pointed towards the exit. Craig exited the stall with his roller bags without flushing the toilet....

Craig said he would not go. I told Craig that he was under arrest, he had to go, and that I didn’t want to make a scene.

Craig then left the restroom.”

In a recorded interview after his arrest, Craig “either disagreed with me or ‘didn’t recall’ the events as they happened,” according to the police report.

Craig told police he had a “wide stance” when going to the bathroom and that he was reaching down to pick up a piece of paper, the report says. “It should be noted that there was not a piece of paper on the bathroom floor, nor did Craig pick up a piece of paper,” wrote the officer.

At one point, police documents said, Craig handed Karsnia his business card identifying him as a U.S. Senator and said, “What do you think of that?”

Popkey interviewed a 40-year-old “professional man with close ties to Republican officials” who told Popkey he had oral sex with Sen. Larry Craig at Washington’s Union Station, probably in 2004.

The man spoke to the Statesman on the condition he not be named. He said he was sure it was Craig he had oral sex with but said he had no evidence other than his word.

Craig denied the allegations in a lengthy interview with the Statesman in May, saying, “I am not gay and I have never been in a restroom in Union Station having sex with anybody.

The man explained, “Upon walking

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Local News

Women’s Red Rock Music Festival organizers Laurie Wood, Carol Gnade, and Jeri Tafoya

Women’s Music Festival a Success Torrey, Utah — More than 400 women gathered in Torrey, Utah for a weekend of music, arts, crafts and good food at The First Annual Women’s Red Rock Music Festival August 16 and 17..

Sponsored by local lesbian civic and social organization Swerve, the Festival’s line up included favorites like Kathryn Warner, Mary Tebbs, Leraine Horstman­ shoff and The Sister Wives and newer faces Lisa Marie, Lost by Reason and the Debi Graham Band and the Oaklandbased Zari Le’on Dance Theater. Regional artists included Wendy Ohlwiler, Stacey Board Trio, Elise West, Dianna Cannon and Trace Wiren. These and other per­ formers played on two stages at Robbers’ Roost Bookstore amid several art booths and smaller versions of MoDiggity’s bar and Diablo Cafe.

The reunion of folk, punk and rock band Gearl Jam — which got Mary Tebbs, Kathryn Warner and Leraine Horstmanshoff on stage together — was

one of the weekend’s highlights. Their combined talent and voices energized the crowd and seemed to represent what the festival was all about: women com­ ing together, feeling comfortable in one another’s presence and creating beauty.

As the weekend drew to an end, the festival-goers were already asking about the Second Annual Women’s Red Rock Music Festival and wondering how the site could accommodate twice as many women.

Carol Gnade, who initiated the idea of a women’s music festival in the high desert with Swerve board member Laurie Wood and board President Jeri Tafoya, said that she wants the festival to continue.

“We know we have created something with great potential, and we are all so energized by this success that we are already meeting about next year,” she said. “ You just can’t miss when you get that many women together. It was truly a magical moment in Utah ‘Herstory.’”

Another Gay Mormon on ‘Survivor’ The 15th season of Survivor will feature several things viewers have never seen on the hit CBS reality show, including the Shaolin Temple, the Great Wall of China and a gay Mormon ... from Pleas­ ant Grove.

Flight attendant Todd Herzog, 22, is the second openly gay Mormon to com­ pete on the show after Survivor: Guatamala’s Rafe Judkins in 2005. Judkins, who grew up in Utah and lives in Provi­ dence, R.I., was the 13th season’s second runner-up. Starting Sept. 20, Herzog will compete with 15 other contestants for the show’s $1 million dollar prize.

“I’m a huge fan of Survivor,” Herzog said in his cbs.com video interview.

“I’ve been a fan since day one, since I was 16 years old. I’ve wanted this for six years now. And now that it’s here, I’m so ready to get out there and play this game as hard as I can.”

Herzog came out shortly after graduat­ ing from Pleasant Grove High School.

He graduated from Utah Valley State College and lists travelling, shopping, boating and drinking coffee among his hobbies. Describing himself as “fan­ tastic, amazing, awesome and super original,” he added that his social skills, positive attitude and willingness to “gather wood and shit” will help him do well on the show.

Although Survivor: China has finished filming, the show will not start airing un­ til Sept. 20. CBS does not make Survivor contestants available for interviews until after they are voted off, so contestants will not inadvertently reveal any details

about parts of the series that have not yet aired.

Herzog currently lives in Pleasant Grove, Utah. He has one brother, Tyler, and three sisters, Brandy, Kimmi and Tori.

Todd Herzog, of Pleasant Grove, Utah, will compete on Survivor: China

Ariz. Bar Owner Bans Transgender Singer Scottsdale, Ariz. — Scottsdale bar owner Tom Anderson cancelled a performance by a punk band featuring a transgender singer, citing concerns for patrons’ safety and threats to protest the show.

Punk band Psychic TV, lead by trans­ gender lyricist and singer Genesis POrridge was scheduled to play an 18-andover concert at Anderson’s nightclub, Anderson’s Fifth Estate, on Monday, Aug. 27. Anderson announced that the event was canceled on the previous Fri­ day, saying that an “outside promoter” had made the booking without inform­ ing him of “the nature of the band.”

In Nov. 2006, Anderson, banned transgender woman Michele deLaFre­ niere and several other transgender patrons from his night club after receiving complaints from female patrons who ob­ jected to “men in dresses” using their rest room. When the transgender women tried to use the men’s room, they said the men harassed and threatened them. Unable to afford the cost of installing a gender-neu­ tral restroom, Anderson said he banned the transwomen to protect their safety.

DeLaFreniere, chairwoman of Scotts­ dale’s Human Relations Commission, has since filed a discrimination suit against Anderson. She has said, how­ ever, that she will not use her official capacity to pursue the suit.

The Arizona Attorney General’s Office is now investigating whether Anderson’s prohibition on transgender people is illegal discrimination. So far, Anderson has refused to let the attorney general in­ terview him about the issue, demanding that he be served a subpoena first.

He has also said that he will be creat­ ing a legal defense fund to fight what will likely be a lengthy court battle.

Anderson said he had planned to let Psychic TV on stage before the threats to picket the club and disrupt the perfor­ mance poured in.

“I believed that with all of the un­ fair publicity the city of Scottsdale has recently received, canceling the event would do more harm than good,” Anderson told the East Valley Tribune, referring to gay right’s groups claims that Scottsdale is now perceived as a gay-hostile city.

“In addition, I was also concerned about exactly how Anderson’s Fifth Estate could safely accommodate our anticipated crowd, even on a temporary basis,” he continued. “I felt I had no choice but to pull the plug on the event.

I have notified the promoter that he will need to find another venue for the band.”

Anderson’s actions have drawn at­ tention and criticism from local and national gay rights groups such as Phoenix-based Equality Arizona and the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defama­ tion. GLAAD has cited the ban as the lat­ est case in a series of anti-gay incidents, including two physical attacks on gay men, that have given Scottsdale a repu­ tation for hostility toward gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

In mid-August, Scottsdale officials including Mayor Mary Manross met with Equality Arizona representatives to dif­ fuse this negative reputation and to reas­ sure the gay and transgender community that they are welcome in the city. Q

He wins.

We all win.

“Progressive values combined with unparalleled management and civic experience put Keith Christensen in a class of his own. A vote for Keith is a vote for continued progress.”

– SLC Mayor Rocky Anderson

For a Safe and Livable Salt Lake,

Paid for by the Keith Christensen for Mayor Campaign.

visit Keithformayor.com

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Keith Christensen Proven leader Avid cyclist

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Local News

Voucher Supporters Push-Poll Gay Marriage as Wedge Issue

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Sponsors of a telephone survey about a controversial school voucher system have come under fire for what critics are calling dirty politics.

According to the Deseret Morning News, surveyors who said they represented New York City-based firm Central marketing, asked respondents questions about the November referendum vote that included the following: “If you knew that the same group that opposes vouchers, the liberal national teacher’s union, aggressively supports same-sex unions, higher taxes and more government involvement, would you be very or somewhat more or less likely to vote for or against the Utah referendum?”

The Utah legislature approved a program that would provide Utah parents who wanted to enroll their children in private schools with a tuition voucher ranging from $500 to $3,000 per student based on household income. The program would also appropriate $9.2 million to public schools so they will not lose funding after a student leaves.

The anti-voucher group Utahns for Public Schools has gathered enough signatures to hold a referendum on the program. The Nov. 6 vote will determine whether the law remains on the books.

The “liberal national teacher’s union” to which the survey question referred is the National Education Association, the country’s largest teacher’s union which opposes the voucher system. Although the NEA’s 2007 resolutions include passages supporting tolerance of all sexual orientations, it has not passed any resolutions in support of same-sex marriage.

NEA public relations manager called the survey a blatant attempt to sidestep

Primary Set for Sept. 11 Polls will open at 7:00 a.m. Tuesday, Sept.

11 for the primary election that will narrow the Salt Lake City mayoral race to two candidates.

For those who just can’t wait, or who may be planning to be out of town on the 11th, early/absentee balloting is already underway at the Salt Lake City & County Building and the Salt Lake County Government Center during regular 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. office hours through Monday, Sept. 10.

Anyone may choose to vote in-office before election day. People voting early must show valid photo ID or two forms that prove residency, unless they are 65 years or older or disabled.

All major candidates for Salt Lake City mayor are heavily courting the gay vote, especially as news was recently released that out gay and lesbian people tend to vote at nearly double the rate of the population at large. It is not unusual for primary races to be decided by 30 votes.

the controversial issue.

“When they can’t argue about the issues they’re going to bring up anything they can that would dissuade people from talking about the real issue, which is vouchers,” he told The Salt Lake Tribune.

“They’ve gone from debating vouchers to name-calling.”

Critics have called questions like these an example of push polling, a tactic in which writers structure a poll to get respondents to give a certain answer, usually by linking the topic with issues respondents will find offensive.

Parents for Choice in Education, the local group leading the push for school vouchers and which sponsored the survey, said they were using polls like this to gauge the public’s opinion for campaign purposes. They would not release any of the survey’s questions to the press.

Parents for Choice executive director Elisa Clements Peterson said that Utah C voters need to understand the NEA’s M agenda.

“Many Utahns would be shocked to Y know all the issues and positions that are promoted by the National Educa-CM tion Association,” Peterson said. “It’s MY important for voters to understand that the UEA and the NEA take many posiCY tion contrary to the average Utah voter such as promoting gay and lesbian rights, CMY reproductive freedom or abortion rights K and other things that many Utahns would be opposed to.”

“It certainly does look like an attempt to change subject,” said Lisa Johnson, spokesperson for Utahns for Public Schools. “I think they recognize that if the debate is about merit of voucher bill itself, then we win.” Q

Gay Visibility

Keith Christensen sexual orientation: 2 The following candidate gay: 1 Web sites mention gay lesbian: 0 terms and list prominent transgender: 0 gay supporters: Gay supporters: Ralph Becker JP Hughes Ralphbecker.com sexual orientation: 1 sexual orientation: 3 gay: 4 gay: 0 lesbian: 2 lesbian: 0 transgender: 0 transgender: 0 Gay supporters: Gay supporters: gayRMs, Jenny Wilson Scott McCoy, Jackie sexual orientation: 2 Biskupski, Christine gay: 5 Johnson, Stan Penfold, Terry Kogan, Mark Barr lesbian: 5 transgender: 2 Dave Buhler Prominent gay supportsexual orientation: 0 ers: Jane Marquardt, gay: 0 Tami Marquardt, Chris lesbian: 0 Ferguson, John Amaechi, transgender: 0 Bruce Bastian, Nikki Gay supporters: Gordon Boyer, Mark Chambers, Storrs Mark McGowan, Missy Larsen, Doug Fadel, Joe Pitti, Gary Watts, Millie Watts, Chuck Whyte

“I’ve been impressed with Jenny’s courage and her ability to deliver.

We didn’t have to ask her to bring forward health benefits for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender partners of County employees.

Jenny just did it.”

— Jane Marquardt, Former Chair of Equality Utah and Chair of Wilson for Mayor

ELECTED OFFICIALS

Mayor Peter Corroon, Salt Lake County Mayor U.S. Representative Bill Orton, Former Congressman Sheriff Jim Winder, Salt Lake County Sheriff Councilman Joe Hatch, Salt Lake County Council Councilman Randi Horiuchi, Salt Lake County Council Senator Gene Davis, Utah Senate Democratic Whip KEY ENDORSEMENTS

Senator Mike Dmitrich, Utah Senate Democratic Leader Doug Fadel

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Bea Peck

Laura Milliken Gray

Peggy Tomsic

Lynda & Dawn Houghton

Mike Picardi

Lauren Barros & Thomas Moyer

Jeffrey Mathis

Melissa Lowe

Arlyn Bradshaw

Gary & Millie Watts

Lauren Littlefield

Maryann Martindale

Josh Moon

Weston Clark & Brandon Mark

Whit Hollis

Mark McGowan & Tyler Dahlsrud

Kay Harward

Representative Steve Barth, Former State Representative Senator Wilford "Rex" Black, Former State Senator Councilwoman Deeda Seed, Former Salt Lake City Councilmember Representative Scott Daniels, Former State Representative and District Judge Jan Graham, Former Utah Attorney General Senator Blaze Wharton, Former State Senator and Representative

Michelle Turpin & Alison Beddard

Experienced. Progressive. Leader.

PAID FOR AND AUTHORIZED BY WILSON FOR MAYOR

Support Jenny for Mayor and support equal rights for everyone For more information, visit Vote JennyWilson.com

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Bruce Bastian

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Local News

Equality Utah Draws over 1,100 at Allies Dinner, Presents Awards The day before this year’s Allies Dinner to raise funds for pro-gay candidates, Equality Utah announced they had 1,106 guests preregistered for the $100 a plate meal. More people were expected to sign up at the door, making this the largest fundraising event the political action committee has thrown to date.

As guests dined in the Grand Ballroom of the Salt Palace ConKeynote speaker Kate Kendall vention Center, Equality Utah leaders presented Plan B Theatre Company, the Right Reverand Carolyn Tanner Irish of the Episcopal Diocese of Utah and Salt Lake County Mayor Peter Corroon.

Corroon made a very emotional speech, during which he had to pause many times, thanking the gay community for the award.

Ogden, Utah, native Kate Kendall was the keynote speaker. Kendall, executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights based in San Francisco, expressed amazement at progress made

by Utah’s gay and lesbian community.

“You have three openly gay legislators on the hill. That’s more than California,” she exclaimed.

Kendall said that, if her aunt were still alive, she would be at the dinner with her and she would have her checkbook open to donate even more than the $100 fee for the dinner.

With that, Kendall announced that she and NCLR would not be asking for her travel fees to be reimbursed and she presented the PAC with a personal check.

The dinner’s theme was “Be the Change.”

The PAC endorses candidates and supports their campaigns with volunteer efforts and financial contributions “Through the efforts of Equality Utah PAC, we are working to expand the number of fair-minded elected officials in state and local government,” states their Web site. Q

Students Say BYU, UofU Least Gay-Friendly Schools in America

by JoSelle Vanderhooft joselle@qsaltlake.com

“Alternative lifestyles are not an alternative” if you go to Brigham Young University or the University of Utah. At least, according to the Princeton Review’s 2008 Best 366 Colleges Rankings.

The company, best known for offering reparation courses for a number of tests including the SAT and ACT, published the annual guide in August. In its list of the top 20 schools that have expressed intolerance to homosexuality BYU ranked 11th and the U of U came in 16th.

The rankings are based on surveys from over 120,000 college students across the country.

In recent years, BYU’s treatment of gay and lesbian students has made state and national headlines. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, which owns the private school, believes that all sex outside of heterosexual marriage is sinful.

Students who engage in gay or lesbian sex, or who promote homosexuality as “morally acceptable” are in violation of the school’s Honor Code, and can face disciplinary measures, including expulsion.

Activists with Soulforce’s Equality Ride have twice visited BYU’s campus to talk with students, faculty and administrators about the school’s anti-gay policies. Both times, administrators have

Princeton Review Rankings

Most Gay-Friendly Schools 1 Macalester College 2 New College of Florida 3 New York University 4 Simon’s Rock College of Bard 5 College of the Atlantic 6 Stanford University 7 Wellesley College 8 Mount Holyoke College 9 Bennington College 10 Emerson College 11 Sarah Lawrence College 12 Bryn Mawr College 13 Eugene Lang College—School for Liberal Arts 14 Beloit College 15 Hampshire College 16 Harvey Mudd College 17 Lawrence University 18 Grinnell College 19 Swarthmore College 20 Cornell College

For the complete rankings, visit princetonreview.com/home.asp.

This fall, Kevin Rahm, a former Cougar will join the cast of ABC’s hit soap opera/ dramedy Desperate Housewives as onehalf of a same-sex couple — the first to be seen regularly so far in the series’ four-season run.

Best remembered for playing troubled former med student Kyle McCarty on CBS legal drama Judging Amy, Rahm has appeared in a number of TV shows including Joan of Arcadia, Kevin Rahm Grey’s Anatomy and Ally McBeal. He also played a gay character in the seventh season premiere episode of crime drama CSI. A member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Rahm served as a missionary in France, Switzerland and the islands of Mauritius.

Rahm’s Desperate Housewives character will be named Lee. One Life to Live actor Tuc Watkins will play his partner.

Although neither will be added as regular characters, their roles will be recurring.

transgender individuals.

Starting September 15, the group, called “Bottoms Up” will meet at Grounds For Coffee on Fridays at 7:00 p.m. The coffee shop is located at 3005 Harrison Blvd. in Ogden, one mile north of Weber State University.

“We hope that we can get people to come out of the proverbial closets up north here to share common interests and fulfill a need that we see here, that is just to get to know other LGBT folks in the area,” said Kelley.

For more information, call James at 801-638-4772 or Sam at 801-686-5530.

Desperate Housewives’ fourth season will premiere Sunday, Sept. 30 on ABC at 7:00 p.m.

Ogden Couple to Form Gay Coffee Group 4.92” x partner 4.083” – for Q Salt Lake Ogdenite James Kelley and his Sam Mills plan to start a small coffee social group for lesbian, gay, bisexual and

®

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Least Gay-Friendly Schools 1 Hampden-Sydney College 2 Baylor University 3 Wheaton College (IL) 4 University of Notre Dame 5 University of Tennessee--Knoxville 6 Grove City College 7 Trinity College (CT) 8 Samford University 9 Washington and Lee University 10 Seton Hall University 11 Brigham Young University (UT) 12 Pepperdine University 13 Valparaiso University 14 Hanover College 15 Texas A&M University-College Station 16 University of Utah 17 William Jewell College 18 Calvin College 19 Miami University 20 Purdue University—West Lafayette

refused to meet with them. At this year’s event, one Utah activist and his mother were arrested for trespassing when they walked onto school grounds to give administrators a list of grievances written by current and former gay BYU students and their friends and family members.

This April, the school changed its Honor Code to distinguish between homosexual orientation and “homosexual behavior” (engaging in gay sex or “forms of physical intimacy that give expression to homosexual feelings”). Administrators said the change was not connected to Soulforce’s 2007 visit in March.

By contrast, the state-run University of Utah has an LGBT Resource Center, a Queer Student Union and the Gay and Lesbian Law Alliance, a group focused on ending legal discrimination against gays and lesbians in Utah. The university also observes an annual Pride Week, and has listed sexual orientation in its nondiscrimination policy since 1998.

Cathy Martinez, LGBT Resource Center director, expressed surprise at the ranking. Although she said she had not yet seen the Princeton Review’s list, she said the school was ranked among the top 100 universities for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students in The Advocate College Guide for LGBT Students, published in Aug. 2006.

“The words they used were ‘tolerant, inviting and friendly,’” she said.

However, Martinez added that other rankings — not just the Princeton Review’s — had said otherwise.

“I found another Web site that listed us as least gay-friendly, along with BYU, so we’re in both,” she said.

One of the reasons for the disparity in ranking may be the different criteria the rankings use. While the Princeton Review’s Best 366 Colleges Rankings used student surveys, The Advocate’s book, according to the book’s Web site, based its rankings on the school’s “LGBT services, curricula, groups, and policies each school does (or does not) have.”

Martinez said that the U’s poor Princeton Review ranking may be the result of “isolated incidents of which we’ve not been made aware” of students who feel the school doesn’t welcome them, or who aren’t aware of the resources available to queer students.

“There’s a lot of work to be done, don’t get me wrong,” Martinez said. “There is still a lot of bias and homophobia at the University of Utah, just like at other schools. We have a lot of work to do in bringing awareness to LGBT students on campus.”

The list of gay-unfriendly campuses included the University of Notre Dame, Baylor University and Samford University. Macalester College, the New College of Florida and New York University topped list of gay-friendly schools.

Additionally, the University of Utah ranked 11th in most religious schools and 11th in schools whose professors are difficult to reach outside of class hours.

BYU placed in a number of lists, including most religious schools (1st), schools where alcohol and drugs are not widely used (1st) and schools with the best libraries (3rd). Q

BYU Graduate to Play Gay Man on “Desperate Housewives”

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Opinion

Letters Have the Conversation I can’t oppose enough the opinion expressed in your Aug. 16 guest editorial by Miles Christian Daniels, titled “Leave Gay Marriage Out of the Conversation ... At Least Until Next November.”

Right NOW is the time to have the conversation.

Someone who plays it safe on the campaign trail will continue to play it safe while in office. After all, they are still campaigning for their second term and then campaigning for the first term of their successor.

Those who show the brass while stumping will show the brass while in office.

The bigger concern, however, is that it is time to have the discussion. We need to get both sides at the table, let them have their say, and help the American public decide on their own what their personal beliefs are.

Up until just the past few years, few non-gay people gave a second’s thought on the issue of marriage equality. It simply didn’t cross their mind. Now, you can’t turn on the television or open a newspaper without seeing and reading more about the issue.

And now they are forming opinions.

Let’s not step back to where we were when our issues were ignored. We gotta keep fighting.

Ryan Sanders Taylorsville

The Forgotten One

From the Editor Tap Dancing Republicans

by Michael Aaron michael@qsaltlake.com

I’m not sure which question to ask: “What is wrong with Republicans these days?” or “What is wrong with conservative gays these

days?”

As news of Sen. Larry Craig unfolded on our computer screens earlier this week, I kept running into case after case of closeted gays getting caught with their pants down ... literally.

As you know, Craig was arrested in an airport men’s room playing footsies with an undercover cop.

QSaltLake had reported on Craig back in October when blogger Michael Rogers announced three interviews with men who said they had engaged in sexual relations with him. “Ludicrous,” Craig said, echoing his retort of 25 years ago when a gay page scandal hit the nation’s capital.

It was just last month that a married Florida Republican state representative Bob Allen was arrested after allegedly offering a quick twenty for oral sex to an undercover officer in a restroom located in a Titusville, Fla., public park. Unlike Craig, Allen had the wit to plead not guilty.

Allen had a 90% approval rating with the Christian Coalition.

We keep digging and keep finding.

Newly-elected chair of the Young Republicans National Federation, Glenn Murphy, resigned shortly after a police report is filed alleging he performed oral sex on a fellow young Republican sleeping off an all-night GOP bash.

Advance Indiana wrote: “The alleged assault of the

22-year-old man took place in the Jeffersonville, Indiana home of his sister following a Young Republican party in which both Murphy and the 22-year-old man had been in attendance. The victim’s sister had urged both men to spend the night at her home because of the amount of alcohol the two had consumed during the party. The victim awoke in the morning to find Murphy performing oral sex on him according to the report. When [cops asked] Murphy what [Murphy] was doing, [the victim] responded: ‘He was holding his dick with one hand and sucking my dick with his mouth.’”

According to Advance Indiana, Murphy ran a political consulting firm where “He is fond of using divisive wedge issues, such as gay marriage, to promote his candidates.”

Don’t think this is something only happening in the distance. I mean, Idaho is but a skip away. But we are privy to information of at least two up-andcoming young Republican stars who apparently have a fondness for group sex — as long as the group is all male. We’ve also heard whispers of a married highranking Orrin Hatch staffer who allegedly has a propensity for Asian boys. And lest we forget only four years ago our Logan friend, State Rep. Brent Parker who pled guilty to soliciting sex from a male undercover officer in a Salt Lake parking lot and resigned from the legislature.

My wonder is this: What is it about these men that makes them not only join a party that smacks them over the head repeatedly, but join in the smacking as well? What psychological phenomenon is presenting itself here? It can’t simply be self-hate. You can do that right at home without having to involve your wife, kids, family, friends and party. Perhaps it is a super-sized version of self hate.

What I do know is that the most dangerous people to the rights and livelihoods of gay people are closeted gays. Most others will have a “live and let live” attitude. It’s those with something “deep and dark” to them whose motto seems to be “live and let die.” Q

Dear Editor, I am severely saddened and hurt by Tony Hobday forgetting to mention my name in his softball ‘thank you’ quip in the Gay Agenda, Aug. 16 issue. I participated in all but one game, and though I didn’t make it to any of the practices, which were somewhat loosey-goosey anyhow, I covered second base like a condom — tight and catches everything. Plus, unlike T-Bagger, I could smack the ball much further than the pitcher’s mound. Not that I’m picking on him per se, he was a fairly good team captain, and he can put ’em back like nobod y’s business, but to forget me, recipient of the MVV (Most Valuable Vagina) award for team QSaltLake, is just unforgivable. I spit the ground he walks on.

Shortbus Salt Lake City P.S. See you at our high school reunion T-Bagger.

QSaltLake Welcomes letters from our readers.

Send your letter of 300 words or less to letters@qsaltlake.com We reserve the right to edit for length, appropriateness and libel.

Guest Editorial In and Out of Merv

by Amy Wooten

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IS A FUNDAMENTAL PART OF A HEALTHY CITY (E HAS BEEN AN EFFECTIVE AND STRATEGIC LEADER ON ,'"4 ISSUES THROUGHOUT HIS LONG CAREER IN PUBLIC SERVICE )N ADDITION HE BRINGS A FORMIDABLE SET OF SKILLS TO THE MAYOR S POSITION (E S A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS OWNER HE HAS THE RESPECT OF STATE AND LOCAL LEADERS AND HE HAS OVER YEARS OF EXPERIENCE AS A PROFESSIONAL CITY PLANNER

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Now and then, the controversial argument of whether or not Hollywood stars have a duty to come out of the closet re-emerges, causing some in the LGBT community to collectively groan.

This time around, it is a direct response to the recent death of famed talkshow host and game-show producer Merv Griffin, and a controversial Hollywood Reporter article regarding his sexuality.

Griffin, who recently died following a battle with prostate cancer, remained in the closet throughout his career. Some critics say Griffin owed it to the world to come out, while others feel it was ultimately his own business.

Following Griffin’s death at age 81, Hollywood Reporter writer Ray Richmond wrote a column that discussed the celeb’s sexuality and how the media places pressure on gay stars. The Hollywood Reporter’s editor pulled the piece from its Web site after receiving pressure, only to put it back up later on a different page and under a less eye-catching headline following reader reaction. Reuters, a news wire, then decided to pull the story on the basis that the article didn’t meet its news standards.

But the media’s handling of discussing Griffin’s sexuality wasn’t the only controversy. The article caused much discussion over whether or not Griffin had a responsibility to come out of the closet.

Gay columnist Michelangelo Signorile claimed on his blog that Griffin’s silence was dangerous because it led him to fire openly gay men. He also wrote that the celebrity could have “helped prevent the AIDS epidemic� if he had utilized his close relationship with Ronald and Nancy Reagan.

Others in the gay community think that some are blowing Griffin’s decision to keep mum out of proportion, and say that it would have been career suicide for Griffin, anyway.

TV Week writer Tom Shales wrote that many participating in Internet discussions about Griffin “sound like members of a lynch mob. In this case, one might think that victims of persecution would feel a tab more reluctant to persecute someone else, especially a recently deceased man,� he continued.

Chicago community leaders were asked to share their thoughts on the issue. “It seems rather irrelevant,� AIDS Foundation of Chicago’s Jim Pickett said. “He didn’t make policy or legislation.�

There are many, like Pickett, who feel that with the exception of those who are making policy or are using their prominence to attack the LGBT community, coming out is a personal choice—even for those in the Hollywood spotlight.

Gay movie critic Richard Knight, Jr., agrees. “I think the word ‘responsibility’ is really complicated,� he said. “You really only have to be responsible for yourself. But then again, there is also that idea that you’ve chosen a public profession.�

Knight writes for Windy City Times.

Knight, throughout his career, has spoken to celebrities both young and old, and sees a “huge generational gap� when it comes to the issue. Older celebrities of Griffin’s generation are hesitant to come out, and are part of a generation of stars that kept their private lives under wraps.

Some feel the community needs to prioritize. “Where we need to be focused is why real, everyday people feel this stigma and homophobia,� Pickett said. “This internalized homophobia leads to crisis in the gay community, including the AIDS crisis.� He added that when people aren’t open and honest about themselves, they tend not to make the best choices.

But do out celebrities help everyday folks to come out? Pickett feels that we are giving them too much credit. “I really don’t know if Merv Griffin came out that more people would feel safer to come out.

It still remains a personal decision.�

And for those who stay in the closet, whether they are the hottest and most influential celebrities or your average Joe, may have very personal reasons for not coming out, says Center on Halsted’s Director of Mental Health Services Jason McVicker.

Although he feels remaining closeted takes a psychological toll on a person, adding stress and wasting energy, “It is important to realize everyone lives in a certain context, and there might be a specific reason to remain in the closet,�

McVicker said.

McVicker, like others out there, feels like the LGBT community seems to forget the decision is very personal. “Gay people can be particularly cruel in that regard because it is such a politicized issue. I think there really has to be a distinction from coming out as a psychological process and coming out as a sociopolitical tool.� Q

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Mountain Meadows Mascara Make It a Double

BY RUBY RIDGE RUBY@QSALTLAKE.COM

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Tell them you saw them in QSaltLake

SATURDAY Darlings, I am just bursting at the seams to tell you about the most bizarro weekend I just survived. On Saturday, the Sluts facilitated a fun activity session at the Gay Men’s Health Summit (which was held at the swanky Jewish Community Center and Pool in Federal Heights). Now, before I devolve into a rant, let me just say this: The original idea of the Gay Men’s Health Summit had a lot of merit, and I agree that, as a community, we should adopt a broader approach to health and wellness than just fixating on HIV. OK, with that disclaimer out of the way, may I just vent a little?

The Gay Men’s Health Summit has to be one of the largest examples of singing to the choir EVER! The event is heinously expensive to put on, and the lack of participation would have most event organizers seriously contemplating the economic Law of Diminishing Returns. Oh, I’m sure the participants probably gleaned some useful information from the workshops, but contemplate this: While the 50 or 60 politically correct folks at the health summit were listening to The Penis Monologues, there were several hundred men cruising on Gay.com, Craig’s List, Bear 411 and Men4Sexnow, etc., etc. Add to that the weenie wavers at 24 Hour Fitness, the scores of men trolling parks and restrooms, a bunch of PNP parties across the valley and the bumping-uglies over at the 14th Street Gym. Oh, and let’s not forget the hundreds of men drinking themselves blotto at the bars, or texting their drug dealer from the parking lot of their favorite bar.

I’m not being a prude or hypercritical, I’m just being realistic. There

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has got to be a better way to educate the thousands of men in our community.

It’s not that the Health Summit organizers aren’t trying, it’s just that they’re stuck somewhere in the late 1980s, when centralized health organizations actually had the attention of — and access to — a broad swath of the gay community. In my ever so humble opinion, that kind of centralized approach simply doesn’t exist anymore. We live in an age of individualism, niche groups, instant messaging and vastly different social networks. And more importantly, we live in age where it is increasingly possible to live openly as a gay man in mainstream society (I’m not saying it’s

On a positive note, I was probably the butchest guy there so ... Mega-Bonus Princess Points! easy, I’m saying it’s possible). The Gay Men’s Health Summit is just SOOOO gay-centric. Inevitably, it ends up with the recovering Mormons wallowing in their coming out trauma, whining incessantly about “how the Church done me wrong” and using that as an excuse for everything bad in their lives.

I, for one, am losing patience with that whole pretext (which is why I am not in the caring professions). OK, we get it. It was tough for you and child support is a bitch, but soldier up little buckaroo, and either get some individual counseling or find a hobby. The times, they are a-changing. What gay men really need is advice on how to integrate back into their families and how to access the opportunities and resources in mainstream society, rather than wallowing in some isolated pity party bitching about some insensitive bishop’s comment way back in 1983.

A friend of mine really nailed this mainstreaming concept when he said he felt more comfortable with his partner at a straight bar than at a gay one. Wow! You don’t think that nabbed my attention? Then I thought about it, and it’s really true. It’s amazing how far we have mainstreamed in such a short time, even here in Zion. My church congregation has about 20 gay men mingled in with hundreds of straight folks, and it’s no big deal. My straight employees and their spouses hang out and socialize with my gay employees and their partners. It’s no big deal. So think about these questions, petals: If we as a community continue to mainstream, then what does that do to community organizations like the Utah Pride Center?

What role should they have in providing services and directing referrals?

How do they speak on behalf of such a large and individualized community?

The way I see it, their entire mission will inevitably have to change.

OK, this is a subject for about three separate columns. But right now, I need to tell you about something totally scandalous that happened on

SUNDAY Oh my God, kittens, it was hysterical!

After church, Mr. Ridge and I drove up to the campsite we’re using for our annual People with HIV/AIDS and their caregivers retreat in three weeks. This is our 17th year of doing the camp, and we wanted to check out the new cabins before we started making cabin assignments. We arrived in the afternoon thinking the site would be empty, but there were dozens of angry-looking men glaring at us as we pulled in. It felt like we’d just driven a CNN Truck into Hilldale or something because these folks were clearly not happy to see us. The group’s body language just screamed FAGS! But you know me, muffins. I would never jump to any hasty or hateful conclusions like that. So I asked the caretaker who they were. She told me they were a group of men from all over the country in a reparative therapy program called People Can Change.

They were holding one of their “Journey into Manhood” experiential healing weekends at our campsite. I was stunned, pumpkins! I was completely surrounded by soon to be ex-gays, exgays and probably their ex-gay-exes. It was terrifying in that sinister, foreboding Children of the Corn kind of way.

On a positive note, I was probably the butchest guy there so ... Mega-Bonus Princess Points!

We fled before they could hook up car batteries to our furry nether regions and force us to watch the Work and the Glory films. When I got home, I bolted the doors and pulled up their Web site to do a little research. Guess what? Sure enough, it’s another Evergreen tentacle.

Rich Wyler, one of the founders of these lucrative camps (can you believe these folks pay $650 for the weekend?) is based in Virginia, but his biography details a BYU education. And lo and behold, guess who is keynote speaker at the Evergreen International Conference in Salt Lake City Sept. 21– 22? Rich Wyler!

Hmm, what are the odds? I should have been clued in by the constant usage of the term “same-sex attraction.” The other Journey into Manhood co-founder is David Matheson, another BYU alumni who wrote the epic 350-page Evergreen manual. Spoiler alert: Dumbledore dies during electroshock therapy.

Now let me just say this: For a tiny statistical percentage of gay men whose upbringing, religion, family arrangement or whatever is causing them major conflicts with their sexuality, this kind of support program may be beneficial. I’m not going to write it off totally, but I get really concerned when the “professional” counselors and volunteers in attendance force the participants to sign waivers saying they are not working in a professional capacity. It’s that whole Evergreen liability dodge that the LDS Church and their reparative ilk have perfected as an art.

If anyone blows his brains out during “therapy,” the counselors — and more importantly, their Church handlers — don’t have blood on their hands, and can’t be sued by the victim’s family.

Niiiiice!

Ciao, babies! Q

David Samsel Dating: Relationship Reruns

by David Samsel david@qsaltlake.com

I recently received a message on a social networking Web site from a man I met several years ago. We went out on a handful of dates, and then things faded out. Sometime later, his profile read that he was “in a committed relationship.” And that was that ... at least, until he contacted me a few weeks ago with a profile that read “single.”

I replied asking how he was doing, and he never wrote back. Now the main photo on his profile shows him and his (ex?) boyfriend. Oh, and his status has returned to “in a committed relationship.”

Sound confusing?

Sound familiar?

Getting back with an ex is something many people — gay and straight — do. But under what circumstances is this a good idea? A relationship ends for good reason, and usually several good reasons; I mean, two people don’t just suddenly realize that they’ve broken up. Typically, a lot of thinking and soul-searching happens before you reach that outcome.

I suppose, to a certain extent, that it’s natural to want to get back with an ex, particularly immediately — and by immediately, I mean in one to six months following a break-up. Think of it like the person next to you in bed suddenly rolling over and taking the covers: Your first instinct is to pull the blankets back and regain the warmth and comfort you’ve just lost. Just like a blast of cold air in the morning, being single after a long relationship can be jarring.

People don’t change very quickly, and usually they don’t really change at all. Even if they do, you probably don’t have the patience to wait it out — in

most cases, I would hope that you have the intelligence not to.

Of course, there is something to be said about not giving up and for giving things one (or 10) more shots. But it’s important to know why you want to work things out. You can love someone with all your heart, you could be really good for that person in a lot of ways and he or she could be even better for you.

But that doesn’t necessarily mean you two should be in a relationship. Sometimes people use love as an excuse.

I’ve heard people give a lot of reasons for getting back together with an ex.

Being “so unhappy after the break-up” is one of the usual ones. Now, I suppose my life experience could be the exception here, but unless I’m mistaken, life isn’t always happy. Sometimes you feel alone and sad. Sometimes you get depressed. But none of those feelings mean that there is something wrong with you. Just because you make a decision that brings a period of hardship doesn’t mean the decision was bad: Sometimes the hardest thing to do is also the right thing to do.

Ladonna Moore wrote an excellent column in the Salt Lake Metro called “Grieving Lost Relationships.” My favorite quote from that piece is, “have the courage to stay with emotions.” If you feel sad, then acknowledge your feelings, and let yourself grow. We all have occasion to find ourselves in the shadows, but the darkness always dissipates. If you feel that things won’t ever get better, there is help. There are people who will step up if you let them know you are struggling.

They can be friends or family members, even trusted clergy and therapists.

I would never claim to know what is right for another persons’ relationship. Most of the time, I’m not even sure what’s right in my relationships.

But I do know that people grow at their own unique paces, and that there are different planes of emotional and intellectual existence. Timing, while not everything, is really important. And sometimes, you have to let go if you’re ever going to get a better grip. Q

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Lambda History This Library Was Totally Gay! by ben williams ben@qsaltlake.com

Ten years ago the Utah Stonewall Center unceremoniously closed its doors at 770 South 300 West forever, which meant the loss of a premier library and the Utah Gay and Lesbian Archives.

Activist Robert J. “Bobbie” Smith, director of Unconditional Support for Gays and Lesbians, came up with the concept of a gay library for Salt Lake City in the 1980s. He got the idea shortly after facilitating a workshop on queer literature at the summer retreat “Beyond Stonewall.” At the time, few bookstores in Salt Lake City carried gay titles, and public libraries had almost nothing in the way of gay non fiction. Queer fiction was practically non-existent.

In the fall of 1989, a committee of the Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah formed to determine the feasibility of creating a Salt Lake City community

center. Garth Chamberlain, who chaired the fact-finding committee, concluded that Salt Lake could support such a center, and proposed that another committee form to oversee its creation and administration.

His motion was adopted, and GLCCU’s Community Center Committee was created in September 1989.

Jim Hunsaker, former GLCCU chair and ex-president of Lesbian and Gay Student Union, chaired it. At our first meeting, we had to decide what to name the new center. Having an affinity for the name “Stonewall” — especially as I had just returned from the 20th Anniversary of the Stonewall Riots in New York City — I had suggested the Utah Stonewall Center, the name they ultimately adopted. GLCCU had requested a name that didn’t include “gay and lesbian,” because they worried these words would discourage some people from using the facility.

But back to the books. At the early committee meetings, Smith determined that a library should be an integral part of the center. As a community historian, I had also mentioned the need to store archival material pertinent to the growth of Utah’s gay community. So the concept of a library that included not just queerthemed books, but historical documents was there from the center’s very beginning. By 1990 Bobbie Smith and NOW activist Liza Smart replaced Hunsaker and

the Utah Stonewall Center Committee’s co-directors.

They both felt that a library and archives would be the cornerstone of the center’s mission to serve the community.

The library began to take shape physically in late 1990 after Bobbie Smith donated the bulk of his gay fiction collection — nearly 500 books. I donated a sizeable collection of history books, and other gay and lesbian community members soon started donating too. These books were first housed at Smith’s apartment in Del Mar Court (on Broadway near the Greek Orthodox Church). Being something of a pack rat, Smith accepted all donations, whether they were gay-oriented or not, hoping to sell what he didn’t want to help fund the library.

In the fall of 1990, Smith and Smart resigned as Stonewall Committee co-chairs to spend more time on library acquisitions. GLCCU then chose Charlene Orchard as the Utah Stonewall Committee’s new chair, and she selected Salt Lake’s Living Traditions Festival director Craig Miller as the Stonewall Center’s new director. Orchard and Miller used their influence to secure a building for the Stonewall Center and its book collection in May 1991. The community center’s first location was the office building which also housed the Utah AIDS Foundation at 450 South 900 East. As soon as this space was allocated, Smith and Smart singlehandedly moved the Stonewall Center Library (which now had well over 1,000 books and magazines) out of Smith’s front room. At the Utah Stonewall Center’s grand opening on June 1, 1991, the library was acclaimed as the center’s main attraction.

By sheer determination and his dogged personality Smith made the library possible. And because of his visionary leadership, he was recognized as the library’s first director. His library committee initially consisted of Liza Smart, Jimmy Hamamoto, David Ball, Connell “Rocky” O’Donavan and me.

At one of the library board’s summer meetings, O’Donavan, director of the Utah Gay and Lesbian Historical Society, suggested that we name the library after Edith Chapman, who as an “old maid” turn-of-thecentury librarian, had helped create the Salt Lake Public Library system. Although some thought the name was appropriate, I and others said it was too confusing: There is already a Chapman Library (also named in her honor) on 900 West in Salt Lake City. Ultimately the library was officially left nameless, but most patrons simply called it the Utah Stonewall Library.

In the fall of 1991, the Stonewall Center struggled with its identity and role within the community. Several board members advocated that the Utah Stonewall Center should not continue to be a GLCCU project. Others thought that it was becoming a public relations office for gay professionals, as opposed to being a drop-in center for the entire gay community. The library and Smith managed to stay out of the fray, all the while acquiring new material on a basically nonexistent budget.

At the beginning of 1992, GLCCU selected former Utah Gay and Lesbian Youth Group director Melissa Sillitoe as the center’s interim director after Orchard resigned and Craig Miller stepped down. They also appointed attorney and gay activist Marlin Criddle as chair of the Utah Stonewall Center’s board. During the center’s growing pains in ’92, Smith and Sillitoe clashed over what Smith perceived to be a lack of interest in maintaining the library. He complained that the library was sorely underfunded. So was the Stonewall Center, she rejoined. A fundamental riff developed as Smith maintained that the library was a separate entity. He insisted that the library was merely being housed at the center, and that since the books and materials were donated to the Gay and Lesbian Community Council, they were not Stonewall Center property.

Eventually his confrontational personality, due to his overzealous protection of the library, alienated many at the center. In May 1993, the board asked Smith to resign as library director. Feeling discarded, Smith stepped aside to pursue his partnership in The Pillar newspaper. The Utah Stonewall Library’s committee, loyal to Smith, left the center with him. For about a month, the library had no real oversight and was severely neglected. Unfortunately, much of it was also looted at this time, because there were no staff to make sure patrons followed proper check out procedures.

(To be continued). Q

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Queer Gnosis 2012: The End of History troy@qsaltlake.com

by Troy Williams

I’m off this week with an estimated 50,000 new-edge, arty hipster types to partake in the annual neo-bohemian love-fest known as Burning Man. The celebration is a phantasmagoric trip into the fringe mindscapes of the culturally unhinged.

And since I know many queer types love a glorious psychedelic adventure, I thought I’d share my recent interview with psychonaut, Daniel Pinchbeck.

We discussed the role of psychedelia in our collective consciousness and how a quantum shift in our world view might side step what many believe is our pending ecological and societal collapse. Who wouldn’t be up for that? His recent book, 2012: The Return of Quetzalcoatl navigates the psychic terrain of edge-culture shamans, Hopi prophecies, end day scenarios, indigenous wisdom and occult speculation.

TW: One of the themes in 2012 is the idea of synchronicity. Three years ago I was in a bookstore in Big Fork, Montana, and I saw your previous book, Breaking Open the Head: A Psychedelic Journey into the Heart of Contemporary Shamanism. I felt compelled to buy the book. Later that afternoon I was wrestling with my nephews in their basement, and I fell over and

literally broke my head open! Blood was everywhere — the very day I buy your book, Breaking Open The Head!

DP: (laughs) Yeah. I’ve got the sense from a lot of people that the books I’ve written are energetic synchronistic vortices for people. They come into their lives at certain moments. A lot of people tell me that the books helped catalyze a change in direction or the way they are thinking about their lives and the world.

TW: Breaking Open the Head really stopped me from being so cavalier with drug use. I really recognized a lack of the shamanic tradition in the West and had some really bad drug experiences that were reflective of my carelessness in using drugs recreationally.

DP: Definitely. I think psychedelics need to be considered sacramentally. I do see an underground understanding of indigenous shamanism, the kind of power they have and why they constructed ceremonies and rituals around these substances.

TW: This beautiful guy in Malibu gave me this psychotropic bread and I ate it and had an incredible trip — ­ but then as the night progressed, I started astral projecting and opening up dimensions and really having an intense hallucinogenic experience. Then, physically, it felt as if my entire body was under siege by an invading force. It was painful, terrifying and left me sick for three weeks after the event.

DP: Yeah. What seems to happen is that a lot of people get a few free tickets to ride. They have great early psychedelic experiences, and then at a certain point there is something like a reckoning, and more shadow material rises up. At that

point, you need to give up the pursuit or go into a more shamanic practice. For me, it’s clear that when you connect with a shamanic lineage it has a protective energy around it. You are connecting with what Rupert Sheldrake would call a morphogenic field of people who use these things carefully and benevolently.

It makes a huge difference. In the end of my new book, I talk about going to Brazil and working with a religion that uses ayahuasca as a sacrament, and for me that was a very healing and positive experience.

TW: You argue that human consciousness is rapidly transitioning to a new state of awareness of both time and space, and that according to the Mayan and Toltec civilization, we are reaching the end of a great cycle which includes a massive shift in the human psyche by the date December 23, 2012. How do we begin to unpack that?

DP: For me, it’s clear that we are in this accelerated transformation process, and for a lot of people that I know, the realm of the psyche is becoming more available in terms of synchronicity, telepathy and other non-ordinary state experiences.

Reality itself is becoming less materially dense and more psychically responsive.

On the other hand, people who haven’t been experiencing this think you are nuts. But you can also look at the material manifestation of this situation: The accelerated evolution of technology, which in several years keeps meshing us together as a global brain and giving us instantaneous access to each other’s consciousness through text messages, e-mails, etc. And the third aspect is the destruction of the biosphere which is

making us increasingly conscious of the deviant path we have taken and the necessity to do a major course correction as a species if we’re going to survive. We have to make a very large-scale shift in consciousness. For me, it’s this other element of the psyche coming through that is showing us a positive dimension.

TW: Let’s talk pragmatically — how do we raise consciousness with a lack of shamanic tradition and no easy access to underground psychedelics?

DP: My answer to that has nothing to do with whether psychedelics or shamanism are available to anybody. It’s really just about paying more attention to reality and being more discriminating. I really feel that is what we are called to do right now. In the Kabbalah they talk about discrimination as the key virtue on this Earth plane. And we are being bombarded with so much material and information, entertainment and distraction. But if you can be discriminating and find the core crucial elements in the threads that lead you forward, that is very empowering. I also think that incarnating the self is the softening of ones ego desire for this or that and being connected to the sense of being conscious aspects of a planetary ecology. We have to think of reality from those terms. How do we help the planetary ecology sustain itself? It’s not going to do it unless there is a radical shift in values, intentions and practices. I think that new consciousness is crystallizing right now. And once it crystallizes, it moves out very quickly. I feel we are potentially here for a very large-scale fast transformation of consciousness.

Stream the entire interview at queergnosis. com.

Q uotes On Sen. Larry Craigâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s room affairâ&#x20AC;? and subsequent guilty plea: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s up with elected officials like Senator Craig? They stand for so-called â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;family valuesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and fight basic protections for gay people while furtively seeking other men for sex. Infuriating pathetic hypocrites.

What more can you say?â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Executive Director Matt Foreman in response to the Aug. 27 news of the arrest of U.S. Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, in a cruisy menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s room.

NGLTF

â&#x20AC;&#x153;We at least ought to hear his side of the story.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Sen. Christopher Dodd of Connecticut

AP

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I am disturbed by what has been reported so far. I assume the matter will be thoroughly investigated by authorities.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Rep. Jim Matheson, D-Utah

â&#x20AC;&#x153;My opinion is that when you plead guilty to a crime, you shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t serve. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a moral stand.

Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a holier-than-thou. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just a factual situation.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Sen. John McCain of Arizona

AP

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Senator Craig pled guilty to a crime involving conduct unbecoming a senator.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Sen. Norm Coleman of Minnesota

AP

â&#x20AC;&#x153;We are not going to keep it,â&#x20AC;?

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a judgment on gay rights or anything like that. This is about leadership and setting a standard that the American people and your colleagues in the Republican Party can feel good about.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Rep. Pete Hoekstra

AP

â&#x20AC;&#x153;As our story today demonstrated, we followed leads and asked questions.

We worked hard and behaved responsibly, not publishing a story until it was ready. We didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t print anything until the senator pleaded guilty. Our story outlined what weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve done and it speaks for itself.â&#x20AC;?

SFBEZ GPS IFBMUIZ DIBOHFT BOE OFX CFHJOOJOHT

â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Bill Murray, managing editor of the Idaho Statesman, in response to Craigâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s allegations that the paper had â&#x20AC;&#x153;viciously harassedâ&#x20AC;? him.

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Cullen Sheehan, campaign spokesman for Sen. Norm Coleman (R-Minn.) talking about a $2,500 campaign contribution from Craig. WASHINGTON POST

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Of course Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m delighted to see another conservative politician drug through the mud as their homosexual escapades hit the fan.

Of course, the very Republicans who espouse rewriting the Constitution to redefine marriage as between a man and a woman so that gays can never marry keep on getting busted for homo-sex in tearooms â&#x20AC;&#x201D; like the one last month who offered a cop $20. To have talking heads reveal the age-old shoe-tapping signal on national TV makes me sing HALLELUJAH! While on my knees, of course!

A â&#x20AC;&#x153;cottagingâ&#x20AC;? veteran, I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t quite as mystified as Soledad Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Brien by this time-honored code. Basically, you sit in the stall next to your intended paramour â&#x20AC;&#x201D; when you are sticking it through a hole or waiting for one you ainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t that picky so sometimes a male shoe is all you need to see. If the shoe you see isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t male and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in NYC, please introduce yourselves, fellers! The deliberate tapping of your shoe indicates that youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re ready for action. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s subtle enough so that someone uninitiated in the code would not necessarily notice it, or be offended if they did. Of course, to be really sure that your victim is of the same persuasion, you might wait long enough to ensure that the person in the next stall wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t relieving themselves, keenly keeping an ear wide open and nostril flared for the sounds and smells of defecation. If they take over 10 or 15 minutes, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re probably after the same thing you are. Or they eat a diet low in fiber. Or both!

What strikes me as odd about this case is tearoom action in the airport!

Even prior to 9/11, security in an airport was much higher than the average cottage. The high traffic also scotches the likelihood of intimate moments and increased detection by appalled straights who might complain. Maybe the increased reports of booze-guzzling pilots are easier targets. And since youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re en route somewhere at an airport, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no hope of finding a compatible mate and dragging them somewhere safer.

Unless youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re on the same flight, perhaps? (Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never joined the Mile-High club.) Antony of the Johnsons did tell me today that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d passed through that Minneapolis bathroom and it was out of con-troll! But he gave his arresting officer an autographed CD instead of a business card and got off scot-free! (OK, that second part about the CD is a lie, but that Antony did personally confirm rumors of the spotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s high activity level.)

I also loved hearing the talking heads of CNN discuss what possible mental-

ity could explain the erratic behavior: persistent cruising, brandishing his U.S. Senate business card, pleading guilty to disorderly conduct, and then trying to claim that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d perjured himself when he plead guilty. One pundit/ psychologist claimed that Craig may have wanted to be caught on some level because of past abuse, another described a state of entitlement which people who are surrounded by yes-men may develop and think themselves above the law. To take the other side of a therapistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s couch for once, I imagine that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a sex addict on the down-low to take such heavy risks. But if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re on the DL, you often desire other guys whose sexuality is way beneath the surface. That way, after you flush away (or swallow) the evidence, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re no longer gay and you can go back to attempting to strip our rights away in the legislature.

I primarily frequented tearooms as an adolescent, as I had no other sexual outlets in Chattanooga â&#x20AC;&#x201D; any one remember the Reade House upstairs? A kiki, honey! I was too young to get into bars, and there werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t that many anyway. If you live in a smaller town, there may not have been any gay bar, and the smaller the town, the less anonymity. (Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s why this whore moved to NY!) Tearooms and truck stops may have been your only outlets to have sex in.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s where some of gay menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pee fetishes come from. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t forget, we are animals and scent figures heavily into arousal. Also, the type of sex engaged in is hurried, manly and far from lovey-dovey â&#x20AC;&#x201D; I never noticed any making out. So you can walk away feeling that youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve just fulfilled a physical need with no poufy stuff. Sometimes all you are dealing with is what comes through the hole â&#x20AC;&#x201D; you never even exchange a word or see a face! Soledad, I know that may seem queer to you, but so does the huge percentage of married gals who never achieve an orgasm. At least we bust a nut through that grimy gloryhole!

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m rambling, but another thing that strikes me is that cottaging is a generational thing. Gay bars were probably not common in Idaho during Craigâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sexual development â&#x20AC;&#x201D; if they are now â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and especially as a conservative in politics, he was forced to bury his sexuality. Like many man from his generation, he isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t sufficiently in touch with his emotions to divorce his actions from creating the policies which will demonize homosexuality and force more gays underground ... and into tearooms!

Or do you think he just wanted to have his cock and eat it too, with no regard for the laws we pay his ass to make?

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2 4  Q S A LT L A K E  I S S U E 8 5  S E P T E M B E R 1, 2 0 0 7

by Michael Aaron

People who know me well will probably tell you I never talk about religion and rarely talk about spirituality, afterlives, ghosts, spirits, or anything else otherworldly. Mostly, I find the topics so deeply personal I feel uncomfortable discussing them. And, frankly, I haven’t really gelled my own personal belief system well enough to have a coherent conversation about it.

So here I am telling you of a deeplymoving experience I had last spring at the Queer Spirit Retreat.

I believe many, if not most, gay people have a difficult time talking about spirituality of any kind. Religious leaders often take the Bible – the book that talks of love and forgiveness – and uses it as a weapon against us. To shed that pain, we shed religion altogether. A poll taken last year among gay men showed that only half believe in any higher power, and less than half of them participate in any kind of organized religion.

I was pretty shielded from a lot of these attacks by those of the cloth because I was raised in a mostly areligious family — when we did go to church it was likely Easter or Christmas. I was raised pseudo-Catholic in Sunset, Utah — a town two miles long and a half mile wide that bordered Hill Air Force Base. My friends growing up were either Mexican Catholics, Japanese Buddhists or, of course, white Mormons. Even the Mormons, though, were different than those I’ve heard stories of in places like Sandy and Bountiful. These Mormons were less likely to force their beliefs on you and ostracize you if you were a “gentile.”

Indeed I spent many hours during my childhood in an LDS ward house. From the time I was old enough to be a Cub Scout until I earned my Eagle Scout award at 16, I was part of the church’s scouting program. At first it was unadulterated Sunday School taught on Tuesdays, which took my mother took great offense to and stormed

into the church offices and demanded that I be taught things to do with a pocket knife and boondoggle. They compromised and taught cub-scouty stuff on alternating Tuesdays and had me earning glass buttons for memorizing some long-since-forgotten articles of faith. I did enjoy putting the buttons on some parchment-colored vinyl wall hanging that ended up in a drawer somewhere.

In time, though, there was less focus on religious teachings and more on camping and merit badges and social service projects. Our scout leaders watched over the LDS boys to make sure they weren’t breaking any church rules — like drinking Dr. Pepper — but left us heathens to do whatever we wanted … as long as it was trustworthy, loyal, brave, yada, yada.

What I didn’t realize until later was that my spiritual beliefs were born during this time, but they had more to do with dirt and trees and sunsets and lakes than an ancient text translated a dozen times over.

I would eventually spend time on solo journeys trying to figure out the world and my place in it. These journeys may last a few hours on a hillside or may take me for a few weeks at a time to Southern Utah in search of an epiphany or two. All of these sojourns would give me some kind of incremental personal growth — some more incremental than others.

All of these soul treks, though, were self-guided. While I liked the idea of studying Native American rituals and beliefs, I never delved more deeply than, perhaps, watching a PBS special or two.

Once while in college, I started driving east and found myself in Denver before I realized that I hadn’t told anyone I was leaving. A young David Nelson was on the phone with then-mayor Palmer Depaulis demanding he tell the Salt Lake City Police Department that the 24-hour missing persons rule be abandoned because I was a gay activist, making my disappearance more likely the result of foul play than the average college boy. I showed up the next day oblivious to the panic I had raised.

I spent a week by myself camping in Bryce Canyon and the surrounding area one summer. I’ve been solo at the Sun Tunnels in the Great Salt Lake Desert. I’ve traveled Route 66 to the Grand Canyon, split off to Canyon de Chelly and the Burr Trail and was heading out of Bryce Canyon when the radio suddenly stopped on a radio station and Richard Simmons’ voice shrilled “Your problem is you have no goals!” He was right and I flipped the turn signal from right to left and went home.

Fast forward past dozens more of these treks to this Spring.

Jerry Buie and John Cottrell ask to put an ad in this paper for their second “Queer Spirit” retreat. I knew John and Jerry very well and made a mental note to look into going on the retreat myself.

I get my QVegas in the mail and read my horoscope: “A long-neglected trip taken Aug. 27–30 will prove miraculous.” “Wow,” I thought to myself. “I wish I was going somewhere. It sounds fun.”

The following week – days before the retreat – I get a call from Jerry saying he has an open spot and had some extra money to cover my costs if I wanted to go and cover the retreat in QSaltLake. I look at the calendar — yup, Aug. 27–29. I hear the Twilight Zone theme.

I tell Jerry I have to think about it and I’ll call him back that night.

Irrational fears take over: I can’t just drop everything and go. I have … well … nothing planned. But I hate group therapy. They always end up being long, drawnout whiny cry sessions about life before coming out.

(Sorry to those attending group therapy at the moment.)

What about Christian? I can’t just leave him here alone for a weekend on a whim — we only have one car working right now. Spirituality? It sounds so … Twilight Zone. I haven’t sung Kumbaya since I was 14. (I have, however, danced naked around a fire since then.)

Jerry calls back the next day. I throw it all at him.

He tells me group therapy is the last thing this retreat would be — this is his getaway from his day job as a therapist. He has arranged a ride for me and there will be no Kumbaya (and no naked fire dancing. Damn.).

Off I go to the Queer Spirit retreat.

Todd Hess, a fellow first-timer, picks me up at my house and we head down to Spring City. We talk about what our expectations of the retreat are, what our fears are, what we hope to get out of it.

We’re among the first to arrive, so I have some time to explore the grounds of Wind Walker Guest Ranch and meet Loretta Johnson, the owner.

First thing the next morning, John has us all in a circle on yoga mats. He spends a great deal of time talking about breathing, becoming aware of your breathing, and using your breath. His voice is incredibly soothing, almost hypnotic. Many culturesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; rituals are focused around breathing and the meditative state you can put yourself into.

After yoga and breakfast, we take a trek through the ranch, past a fence (with permission of course) and to what Jerry calls a â&#x20AC;&#x153;grandmother tree.â&#x20AC;? For many of the first retreatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s participants, Jerry explains, the trip to the grandmother tree was a turning point in their experience. Little did I know it would be for me as well.

John and Jerry have us lie beneath the tree. Jerry nervously sings a Native American prayer-song. He has an incredible voice with great energy, yet still struggles with this part of Native ceremonies.

Jerry makes an offering of fruits and nuts to the tree.

Strewn across the tree are feathers and prayer ties â&#x20AC;&#x201D; pieces of red cloth with tobacco tied into them. It is obvious that a great number of people use this tree as a spiritual place.

Jerry offers that we can â&#x20AC;&#x153;talkâ&#x20AC;? to the tree, ask it for guidance with what we are personally seeking on this retreat.

John takes us back to meditative breathing. In. Out. In. Out. I glance at the others, feeling a bit awkward to ask a tree for something â&#x20AC;&#x201D; even if it is a silent request. I took a deep breath and did just that. I asked the tree for guidance on my journey.

How does one explain to other skeptics that a tree talked back to them?

The tree â&#x20AC;&#x201D; or something or my mind or someone â&#x20AC;&#x201D; said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been here with you, helping you, the whole time.â&#x20AC;? Visions of my treks â&#x20AC;&#x201D; some long-forgotten, some when I was in elementary school â&#x20AC;&#x201D; flashed in my mind.

My eyes started to tear, filling my ears as I laid on the ground. I felt the presence of dozens of ... people? spirits? presences.

The tree â&#x20AC;&#x153;toldâ&#x20AC;? me to take a piece of it to the lodge that night and put it in the fire. I thought to myself, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just break off a piece of this tree. I know how slow these things grow and how old it probably is.â&#x20AC;?

Take the piece broken off by the calf a few days ago. I look around and, indeed, there was a six-inch piece dangling off one of the lower-hanging branches. I grabbed it and snuck it into my pocket.

For some reason which I have yet to fully figure out, I was compelled to walk to a distant tree. I walked right up into it and looked up to find a large abandoned nest.

We headed back to the guest houses and were given some time to ourselves. Some went on a short hike, some drove up to a creek and read. I took a note pad and pen and wandered to a remote area of the ranch and just scribbled down thoughts, thinking Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d use it for this story. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not.

Back for dinner and a discussion of what to expect at the sweat lodge. We are given a Readersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Digest overview of lodge ritual. For those wondering, no we were not naked during the sweat lodge.

The ceremony is done in four rounds, also called endurances. Jerry acted as leader and John was in charge of bringing the heated rocks into the lodge and placing them in the center. We are packed tightly in, so much so that laying down or moving is difficult. Some choose to lay down

during a round as it becomes unbearably hot inside. I am seated due west â&#x20AC;&#x201D; as far from the opening as possible.

Each round has a theme represented by West, North, East and finally South. At the beginning of each round, more heated rocks are brought into the lodge and the door is closed. A prayer is sung and we chant. The rounds last about a half hour, though I would have a hard time telling you how long each took as they seemed like an eternity. It is so hot, so dark, so humid, so hot. It was hot. At the end of the round, the door to the lodge is opened and we are offered water. Those nearest the door sigh as the breeze cools them down. Those of us at the far end feel nothing.

Round two. More rocks. More heat, more chanting, more singing. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m struggling: I am not seeing visions like Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d hoped, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m gasping for air, I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t focus on anything but the heat.

Round three. Still no visions, just more gasping. I start to become overcome with fear. I try to push it down, out of my mind. The end of round three comes â&#x20AC;&#x201D; an hour and a half in the lodge. I ask to be let out.

I failed. The mere thought of another half hour in that heat and steam brought me to near-panic.

I stood outside and sulked, gasping for the cool night air. Loretta, dressed in a long white cotton dress, talks soothingly to me. She suggests I should go back in. I tell her that I feel that I have failed. I was also under the impression that going back in was taboo. She explained that in many lodges it is, indeed, taboo. But not this one.

Jerry announces the last round will begin. I re-enter the lodge and take my place at the West once again.

There are dozens of large glowing rocks stacked in the center and the others help my get by them without burning myself. The round starts. I focus inward, breathing slowly. I kept my eyes open looking for anything that might come my way.

A wolf is staring me right in the face. At first I thought it was a reflection in a mirror, it was so close. It turns and leaves. An eagle flies at me, grabs something and flies away. Then a falcon. Then a hawk, a sparrow and, finally, a robin. Each take their turn flying at me, grabbing something and flying away.

We head back in the dark, soaking wet, tired, exhilarated. I slept better than I think I have in years.

In the morning, there was a wrap-up and a pipe-smoking ceremony. Tobacco, not peyote. We take a group photo and truly felt like we knew these former strangers better than some of our closer friends.

We each head our separate ways, changed.

A week after the retreat, I went back into a meditative state, trying to wrap up what happened to me and what the symbolism of certain elements of the weekend meant.

The results shocked me and have me thinking about life and its meaning in deeper ways than ever before.

The Queer Spirit retreat turned out to be nothing short of miraculous for me, just like my horoscope said.

I invite anyone reading this to consider leaving your comfort zone and sharing the vision that Jerry and John have of spreading spirituality to this community. These men are digging into their own pocketbooks to make this happen because they believe so deeply that our community needs to retrieve its soul.

I havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t heard the Twilight Zone theme since before I left. Q For more information, visit queerspirit.org

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The ranch was started ten years ago by Loretta after she searched high and low for a location, and ended up within 20 miles of where she started. There is a large two-story house where she and her family live, a dining hall and two eight-unit two-story guest houses strewn about the 27 acres of land.

I stumbled upon Jerry as he was preparing the sweat lodge, taking stock of how many rocks were there and trying to decide on how many weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll need.

He explained that the sweat lodge is set up in Native tradition with the opening facing east, towards the fire pit. I learn later that they chose east because each day begins in the east with the Father Sun â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the source of life and power. Similarly, the hope of a sweat lodge is to create a new beginning.

I help move various sized rocks around the fire pit.

Jerry wonders aloud how many rocks we would use the next night. He said a group of women came up and used 24 or so. I arrogantly tell him that weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll need 30 then. He shoots back a skeptical grin and says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll see.â&#x20AC;?

Others start showing up and we head down to one of the guest houses where all the activities will be. We share a common area where Jerry has laid out Native American blankets and has set up an altar. Before the alter is a buffalo skull which has been filled with grasses.

There are several objects on the altar placed by Jerry and John. There are also various decks of tarot cards at the other end of the room.

As most of the participants had arrived, Jerry called everyone in to the common area and had a sit around the blankets in a circle. We are asked to introduce ourselves and explain what we had brought to put on the altar.

I had brought a small statue of an eagleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s head given to me by my brother. I explain that the eagle seems to have special meaning to me, beginning with a song by John Denver back in the 70s. I often have seen eagles while tramping around Southern Utah â&#x20AC;&#x201D; so much so I wonder if they are following me. See, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all about me.

That my brother had given it to me gave the object even greater meaning.

Others brought pictures, other art objects, a watch and each told a story of why they brought it.

The plan for the remainder of the weekend is explained to us, including an invitation to write something or find something that we can throw into the fire to release it. We head down to the dining hall for a huge cowboy-style buffet.

After diner we move out to a campfire that Jerry and others had started. I had written some words on a few pieces of paper â&#x20AC;&#x201D; guilt, fear of abandonment, forgiveness.

I had also brought a letter which I had written my biological father that had been returned to me because he had moved. I had since reconciled a lot of our relationship and decided that the anger and revelations that existed in the still-sealed envelope were no longer necessary.

I ceremoniously placed each of the papers and the letter into the fire and watched them as they burst into flames and their contents released into the air as smoke and then they disappeared into the mass of red flames and glowing coals. I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t sure how successful these releases would be, but I felt it was a good start.

A man with a guitar who called himself the Singing Cowboy plunked out some tunes. In time, we all dawdled off and went to bed, eager for the next day.

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Hollywood Buzz

By Ross von Metzke ross@qsaltlake.com

Every column, as you know, we kick things off with some photos of a particularly hot man.

This week is no exception. The difference is, I’m doing something I swore I’d never do.

Two men! Why? Because I couldn’t decide, the end of summer is near and you’ve been loyal readers so you deserve a treat.

Well that, and I feel kinda guilty about one of them.

More on that later, ‘cuz it’s certainly not the first one.

Hell, I should never have to apologize

for deeming an Abercrombie model worthy of this honor, and few are more worthy than Chaise Mooty.

Not only do I adore his name, but for God’s sake, will you look at that face?

Sheer perfection! That and the sprawledout, beach-style photos he seems to like, and you’ve got yourself a winner. Check him out.

Now for the second guy. See if you can understand my plight.

There’s a certain type of guy in Hollywood — we’ll call him the “financially privileged celebrity spawn” type — who is famous, simply it seems, for being famous. Brody Jenner, son of Olympic champion Bruce Jenner and lyricist Linda Thompson, starred for about five minutes on The Princes of Malibu with momma Linda and his step-dad, Grammy-winning composer David Foster. When that failed, he did a bit of modeling, screwed his way through the Hollywood “it girl” list and wound up with a record deal.

The difference between Brody and all of the other Hollywood club kids is that he doesn’t seem to be a prick. In fact, he comes across as a genuinely nice guy with some actual talent — and he’s flippin’ gorgeous. So, we’ll make an exception this week and feature a reality show himbo, too.

I’m just gonna jump on in and rip on a bitter old queen. No, not Elton John, although that would be a good guess. I mean Jerry Lewis. I know a lot of folks in the gay community are bitter that

this whole Merv Griffin dying thing didn’t shed a bit more light on his being gay. But regardless of whether or not the truth about Merv’s private life ever comes out, there was no excuse for this.

Jerry Lewis, apparently pissed that

nobody talks about him much these days, has gone on the record essentially saying that Merv deserved to die. Here’s the sound byte he gave to one seriously stoked reporter from E! Online. You can’t make shit like this up: “I was very angry when I heard [Merv] died. He didn’t have to die. He knew he had prostate cancer, and he did nothing about it. He deserved to die. You can’t have cancer and say, “I’ll be alright.”

You’re not going to be alright. It’s a malady that has to be addressed. I had it.

I went and had it addressed and got it out of there. I’m going to beat George Burns.

Burns died at 100, I’m going to go for 101, and I want a television special for my 101st birthday!”

OK, so not only is he all up in Merv’s shit, but then he makes the interview all about him and his health. These entertainment people, I tell you. You never saw Charlie Gibson raking Peter Jennings over the coals and then inviting people to his house for mojitos after his death. Sure, take the opportunity to educate people on the importance of getting tested and getting treatment, but saying Merv deserved to die? Seriously fucked up!

My check’s going to St. Jude’s this year, Jerry!

On the subject of old men changing public perception, how about Vladimir Putin? I know, I know, it’s an odd mix of men I’m talking about this week, but bear with me. This one is too good to pass up!

So Vlad took to the mountains last week and showed off a seriously toned physique for a 54-year-old Russian president. He went fly fishing, rode some horses, and he did it all with his pumped up, muscular torso.

And you know the gays took notice. I’m not sure if they were genuinely turned on, or just desperate for any kind of bone the government might throw their way.

But making one of the biggest leaps since Keanu and Sandra hopped that freeway off ramp in Speed, Russia’s gay community is convinced that Vlady flouncing around sans shirt is his way of showing support for an end to homophobia.

WTF? OK, I guess if I were a Russian gay and I all but had to live every waking moment on the DL, I’d be on the look out for signs of support anywhere I could find them. But taking a photo of a shirtless politician fly fishing and saying it’s code for “I’m down with the gays” is a bit much.

No word from Vladimir’s camp yet, but something tells me he’s not gonna oil up his pecs and jump on a float any time soon.

For those of you desperate to know what Britney’s been up to in the last five days that she hasn’t been photographed, with any luck, it’s remastering the new track someone in her ever-shaky camp leaked to the press.

The as yet untitled track is a ballad about the woes of romance. While the

lyrics show a marked improvement from “Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman,” she’s still no poet.

And that seriously off-key transition during the bridge proves that while Britney doesn’t have a totally unfortunate voice, she should let the producers work their magic on every last ‘oh’ and ‘ah’ that comes out of her mouth.

Not sure if this track is guaranteed to be on her comeback album, but note to Brit: If it is, take out all the talking. No one wants to hear you beg your man to pick up some TP at Rite Aid before he heads home ... that’s just ghetto.

Beyond that (and granted, that’s a lot), it’s not half bad. I’m certain Britney didn’t want y’all to hear it quite so soon, and some of the lyrics may change if and when KFed wins his latest custody bid.

But for the time being, all you Britney fanatics, enjoy. Here’s a lyric sample: Everyday, I’m in a daze Looking for that someone And everyday, I sit and kneel and pray Oh, sweet love, can I get some?

So why do you desert me, baby boy?

I need your love right now!

And if you desert me, baby boy Don’t you leave me in your crowd Lindsay Lohan needs to seriously get down on her knees and blow her entire legal team. That bitch got off easy.

Though she was facing felony charges for possession of cocaine and many, many other things, they managed to get the L.A. Prosecutor’s office to stick to misdemeanor charges, which saved Lindsay from facing years behind bars. Let’s hope to God she’s learning a thing or two from the Mormons, because homegirl just scored the break of a lifetime: 48 hours behind bars.

Lindsay plead guilty to all nine misdemeanor counts and faces about the same jail time as Nicole Richie. Do I think Lindsay deserves more? Probably, especially since, by most accounts, she essentially car jacked those guys she took on a wild goose chase down Pacific Coast Highway.

But Lindsay did the right thing and got the hell out of Dodge the minute things got heated.

Not popping up at Area 24 hours after her arrest was the move that quite possibly saved her life.

Where to next? Who knows, but for now, LiLo’s prayers have been answered.

L.A. motorists, beware!

Now for a sad sayonara. Jenna Jameson is allegedly retiring from making porn forever. And to let the world know she’s dead serious, she had her titties removed.

Jenna will still sit behind the desk of Club Jenna and teach others how to climax on camera, but this is the last you’ll see of Jenna’s bits in X-rated format. To commemorate the occasion, she sat down with U.S. Weekly to talk about her breasts, a planned biopic and how she felt post surgery.

My favorite quote, bar none, is describing how her boyfriend Tito reacted: “I had my surgery while he was in Iraq on a USO tour. He was so excited: ‘I’m coming home to brand new boobies.’”

Not brand new, Tito. Yesterday’s boobies.

Just so you know, Jenna claims she’d love Scarlett Johannsen to play her in a movie. If it gets a theatrical release behind it, maybe. But with her luck, Jenna’s tale will go the DVD route and we’ll be stuck with Kristy Swanson or some shit like that.

And that, my friends, is the dirt for the week. Play nice until we meet again, and remember: Take the time to stop and smell the gossip! Q

We Need Tenors!

Some say tenors are divas.

We agree.

Come be a diva with us!

To join, come to a Thursday night rehearsal at 7:00pm at All Saints Episcopal Church, 17th South and Foothill and ask for Dennis.

See saltlakemenschoir.org for details.

Gay Geeks Geeks in

(Long-Distance)

Love, Part 3

by joselle vanderhooft joselle@qsaltlake.com

In the last column, we talked about ways to keep online, long-distance relationships exciting, fun and interesting â&#x20AC;&#x201D; from gaming, blogging, talking and engaging in those most unfairly maligned of all unfairly maligned pleasures together: cybersex and phone sex.

And originally, I meant to leave things at that. Yes, I was content to leave this trilogy of columns as a duology, thereby defying centuries of literary and cultural history, including Lord of the Rings, most fairy tales and Star Wars.

And just like I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t bring myself to list only two landmarks of geek culture in that last sentence, I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t bring myself to use the word â&#x20AC;&#x153;seriesâ&#x20AC;? to describe a succession of two columns.

You see, good things generally come in threes for a good reason: good things generally have beginnings, middles and ends. This is also true of the kinds of online, long-distance relationships about which Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been writing since August. Not that they eventually end in disaster, of course. But that they should eventually move offline and closer geographically if theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re truly going to flourish. In this column, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll discuss how to do this ... with at least 10 percent fewer epic battles and Ewoks.

if you really want to get the hell out of Dodge, doing so is usually a pretty big decision, and not one to make without a lot of consideration. Especially if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re moving to a strange city, state or even nation to be with your sweetie.

Especially if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve only known him or her for a short time. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been interested in each other for a few weeks, or even a few months, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s probably too soon to have a conversation involving those red, white and silver trucks. If you havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t yet met your girlfriend or boyfriend in person, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s definitely too soon!

Before you or your sweetie make the move, talk it over. Make sure itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s really something youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re both ready to do emotionally and financially. If so, then check out your potential new home. Be sure you can feel comfortable living, playing and working there. After all, you arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just making the move just to orbit around your sweetie â&#x20AC;&#x201D; you actually have to have a life of your own there. Is this obvious to the point of being clichĂŠ? Yes, but I think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also something a lot of people forget when theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in love.

Another obvious thing that sometimes needs to be said: Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t structure other big decisions around your sweetie, especially if said big decision involves transferring or attending school. Although Out Of Dodge Polytech might have the benefits of your boyfriend or girlfriend in the dorm next door, it may also have crappy professors, a problem keeping its accreditation and more drunken jocks than the Alpha Beta fraternity from Revenge of the Nerds multiplied by the power of ten.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a big fan of taking things slow, especially when it comes to such potentially lifechanging things as love, sex and anything involving a U-Haul

North/South/East/Westward, Ho? If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve read the previous installments, then you probably know Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a big fan of taking things slow, especially when it comes to such potentially life-changing things as love, sex and anything involving a U-Haul â&#x20AC;&#x201D; even if lesbians tend to bring them on second dates. Even

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Wait a second!

Am I saying that all people in online relationships eventually need to move in together to be happy and fulfilled?

Of course not. Romantic relationships come in as many varieties as people do.

Some couples may be happier living apart and getting together a few times each month or year. Thanks to finances, disapproving family members, employment, a large geographical distance (say transcontinental) or any number of other circumstances, a couple may not be able to even consider moving closer together for quite sometime, if ever.

Personal preference and factors beyond oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s control donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t make some longdistance relationships inferior to others. But in general, as love for a person deepens, so does the need to spend more face-to-face time with that person. For many, this means a change in address.

so whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s next?

Maybe you already know everything in the above section. Maybe you even skipped it because youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re making a move for the right reasons. Maybe youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve already relocated, and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re wondering what happens next. Transitioning from a largely online to an offline relationship can be tricky, even scary, because youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve now got to worry about regular physical togetherness, which has a completely different set of rules than e-mails and phone calls.

To ease the transition, I also recommend keeping as much of your online life intact as possible. If you liked going on raids together, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t cancel your World of Warcraft subscription. If sending each other sugary text messages brightened your days, keep those phones beeping.

Most of all, remember be honest with each other, just as you should have been when you first met online. Relationships may come in all shapes and sizes, but no relationship can flourish with lies and half-truths.

Well, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just about all I know about dating. Tune in next week when we finally get back to our regularly scheduled programing. Until then, my geeky ones. Q

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The Gay Agenda

AQUA AID See Sept. 9

YOUR CALENDAR OF ARTS, ENTERTAINMENT & IMPORTANT EVENTS

by Tony Hobday tony@Qsaltlake.com

It appeared that this year’s Gay Lagoon Day was a success. Not that I walked around counting heads, but I recognized many gays milling about the park — some in red, others not. However, I had hoped to see more people show up for the group photo, like Gene Geiber and his groupies ... but then again, Gene’s image most likely wouldn’t have shown up in the picture.

1SATURDAY Q Who loves the vino more than Michael Aaron? Well, if you worked with him everyday as I do, you’d say no one! But I digress ... actually since he’s in a committed relationship, I have to find other ways of sticking it to him. Anyhoo, the Sundance Institute presents the second annual Food & Wine Festival. The event will feature the best in food and wine from top Sundance and Park City restaurants, and features vintners of Sundance’s Celebrating Wine as Art program.

Proceeds will benefit the Sundance Preserve, a non profit environmental organization, committed to preserving the wild lands of Provo’s North Fork Canyon.

Noon–4pm, Sundance Resort, approx. ten miles up Provo Canyon. Tickets $65, 223-4567.

2SUNDAY Q Well slap a collar around my neck, speak seductively to me in Russian and watch me salivate like Pavlov’s dog — the Saliva Sisters, a gay iconic parody group, take the stage tonight at The Trapp. I hear Joe will be wearing a pair of lips on his head, and for a dollar you may stick things through them. Hmmm!

8:30pm, The Trapp, a private club for members, 102 S. 600 West. Tickets $10 at the door, 531-8727.

4TUESDAY Q I shudder to admit this but I used to eat Spam a lot growing up ... I think my mother was trying to do me in.

Segue to NewSpace Entertainment’s (formerly Broadway in Utah) production of the Tony award-winning musical Monty Python’s Spamalot, which opens tonight. Just like when I was sweating bullets and hallucinating in bed after a Spam sandwich, the show is full of killer rabbits and flying cows.

Times vary, through Sep. 16, Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South. Tickets $25–75, 355-ARTS or arttix.org.

5WEDNESDAY Q The Salt Lake Art Center presents Art Talk: Creation of the Impossible: On Formal Invention in Contemporary Painting. Artist and Weber State assistant professor Matthew Choberka discusses the work of Neo Rauch and Matthais Weischer, two artists in the exhibition Life After Death: New Leipzig Paintings from the Rubell Family Collection. Choberka will place their work in context with American contemporaries and discuss other artists who are seen as forerunners to some of the currents in painting.

7–8pm, Salt Lake Art Center, 20 S. West Temple. Free, 328-4201 or slartcenter.org.

6THURSDAY Q It’s all about the feast with the Greeks — whether your vegan, vegetarian or a carnivore, the dishes are always fabulous: From katsiki lemonato (goat in lemon sauce) to laxano gemista (meat stuffed cabbage) to peperies gemista (rice stuffed red peppers) to revithia keftedes (fried chickpea balls), this year’s Greek Festival is sure to make your tastebuds fizzle with anticipation.

5–10pm tonight, times vary Friday through Sunday, Sep. 9, Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church, 279 S. 300 West.

Tickets $3 at the gate, 328-9681.

Q Utah’s finest restaurants, caterers and breweries will be serving up delicious food at the American Express Zoo Rendezvous. Don’t fret, you won’t find the zoo animals on rotisseries and grills ... oh stop you sick bastard!

Proceeds from the event are dedicated to animal care and habitats.

6–11pm, Hogle Zoo, 2600 Sunnyside Ave. Tickets $150, must be 21 or older, 584-1729 or zoorendezvous.com.

Q Well baste me in moonshine, tuck me in to bed next to my two nephews and call me Uncle Jesse, it’s another year of the Utah State Fair. From a command performance by Weird Al Yankovich to a livestock auction to a truck pull to a rotten sneaker contest, all may unleash their inner hillbilly for 11 glorious days.

Through Sep. 16, Utah State Fairgrounds, 155 N. 1000 West. Admission $6–8, rides $.85–23, 538-3247 or utahstatefair.com.

7FRIDAY Q “My current work began shortly after the death of a close relative. I meant for the pictures to be something the family could have as a way of remembrance. I was struck for example, by an almost obsessive yet charming quality of decorating and housekeeping.

Each space so cared for, each object so thoughtfully placed. These pictures became less about documenting a life and more about evoking a presence,” states

local photographer Peter Hansen of his current collection on exhibit.

5–8pm Fridays & Noon–8pm Saturdays, through Sep. 22, Universe City, 2556 Washington Blvd., Ogden. Free, 801-392-2045.

Q Professionally trained dancers from Movement Forum Improvisational Dance Company (a project of the Pickle Company and TRASA Urban Arts Collective) and selected members of Rowland Hall St. Marks Dance Company showcase their dance improv talent in a wild and exciting two-night “contest,” The Game. Watch as each night a new winner emerges, resulting from splitsecond decisions, risky alliances, and audience approval. A Movement Forum insider claims, “There’s a 90 percent chance this performance won’t suck!”

Those are good odds.

7pm, through tomorrow, Larimer Center for the Performing Arts, Rowland Hall St. Marks School, 800 S. 945 East. Tickets $7–10 per night at the door (Saturday’s tickets half-price with stamped program), movementforum.org.

8SATURDAY Q The lineup for the end of summer Jamboree Music Festival includes The Aquabats, Dashboard Confessional (Chris Carrabba is a hottie!), Toad the Wet Sprocket (one of my favorite

bands), Steel Train and Limbeck, among others. This may be a fabulous event, though at press time, I hadn’t heard back about coolers, chairs and booze.

Noon, Electric Park, Thanksgiving Point, 3003 Thanksgiving Way, Lehi.

Tickets $42.50/general or $87.50/VIP, ticketmaster.com or at any Graywhale CD Exchange location.

Q Sponsored by the Greater Avenues Community Council, the annual ­Avenues Street Fair is a great event that supports local artists of the historic Avenues, which just so happens to be my ’hood. But, I’m not about to give all you stalkers my exact address ... unless you ask nicely. So please come support my peeps.

9am–6pm, 2nd Avenue & I Street. Free, call 363-2515 or visit slc-avenues.org for more information.

Q Voted QSaltLake’s Most Fabulous music store this year, and celebrating their one year anniversary, Slowtrain is stepping up with live music. Check out Darren Hanlon, Carcrashlander and Uzi & Ari at this funky sheik ‘venue’, and then buy some music, dammit!

8pm, Slowtrain, 221 E. Broadway.

Donations appreciated and good karma abounds, slowtrainmusic.com.

9SUNDAY

14FRIDAY

Q Good grief! Another “end of summer” event — wehre does the time go?

Anyhoo, join the People with AIDS Coalition for their annual Its-WhosePhrase-Should-Not-Be-Uttered BBQ Bash. Good food, good times and good summer weather. Please rsvp to PWACU by Sep. 4.

4pm, Fairmont Park, 900 E. 2400 South.

Free, 484-2205.

Q When you put two conniving, obstinate women together, it’s typically not a ray of sunshine (kinda like me and Michael); but when you add a couple of “dangerous” hot-blooded men and a little 1950’s lounge, western, and rock & roll music to the mix, out comes JOHNNY GUITAR, THE MUSICAL — a fastpaced romp with a showdown unlike any other.

8pm through Sept. 29, The Grand Theatre, 1575 S. State. Tickets $6–24, 957-3322.

Mention QSaltlake and receive a 25 percent discount!

Q We all love those sinewy bods and bikini-waxed babes of the Queer Utah Aquatic Club, so why not check them out in all their glory at the AQUA AID fundraiser — and yes, they swim and frolick like dolphins. Proceeds benefit the Utah AIDS Foundation.

2–5pm, 5346 Baywood Circle, Holladay.

Donation $50, 487-2323 or utahaids.org.

12WEDNESDAY Q Kicking off Salt Lake Acting Company’s 2007-08 season is MOONLIGHT & MAGNOLIAS, a breathless look at the near-farce velocity birth of the most famous movie ever made. I’ll give you a hint: “Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn!” A real head-scratcher.

Times vary, through Sunday, Oct. 7, Salt Lake Acting Company, Tickets $13–34, 363-7522 or saltlakeactingcompany.org.

15SATURDAY Q Kick start that heart rate, work off all the beer, jaeger shots and long island iced teas from last night and “rock the walk” at the Utah AIDS Foundation’s 19th annual WALK FOR LIFE. The 10k pledge walk ends at the 9TH & 9TH STREET FAIR where participants may enjoy live music, food and fun.

8:30am–Noon, Liberty Park (corner of 5th East & 9th South). Registration fees $10/ pets and $25/person, includes a t-shirt and pet bandanna, 487-2323 or utahaids. org. The street fair is free.

UPCOMING EVENTS Sep. 20 — Sinead O’Connor, Capitol Theatre Oct. 4 — The Cure, E Center Oct. 31 — Maroon 5, Energy Solutions Arena Nov. 15 — B-52s, The Depot

Tickets on Sale Now! 801·957·3322 • www.the-grand.org

“Two Divas and a Johnny with a Guitar”

September 14-29, 2007 Mention QSaltlake — save 25% on your ticket!

Directed by Robin Wilks-Dunn Musical Direction by Kevin Mathie

Local Prices, Local Talent – Exceptional Theatre!

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Featuring: Sterling Hanks as Johnny Guitar Julie Nelson Blatter as Vienna Staci Turner as Emma

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Swords, Show Tunes â&#x20AC;&#x201C; â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Spamalotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Has It All

BY J. W. ARNOLD

Where can you find hot, mustachioed men dressed in chain mail, brandishing swords and dying to break out into show tunes or a little softshoe? No, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not talking about that annual Memorial Day spectacle in Chicago, International Mr. Leather. Next month youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll find these men on stage at Capitol Theatre in the touring production of Monty Pythonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Spamalot.

The 2005 Tony-winning Best Musical was â&#x20AC;&#x153;lovingly ripped offâ&#x20AC;? from the motion picture, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Recognizing a hit with broad appeal, producers were quick to take the

show on the road, and London, Las Vegas and Melbourne, Australia have resident companies. I caught the touring production during a sellout run in Florida in a hall crowded with blue-haired retirees and campy gay boys seeking a good oldfashioned show tune.

I first saw the movie as a preteen and, admittedly, found the cheeky British humor difficult to appreciate. Years of Absolutely Fabulous reruns and an expensive subscription to BBC America later, the ridiculous Python humor finally resonates.

Most of the movieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s classic gags remain and brought the packed house to tears:

coconut sound effects in place of horses (masterfully provided by Jeff Dumas as King Arthurâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sidekick, Patsy), the taunting of the French guards, the relentless attack of the Black Knight (Anthony Holds), and the search for a shrub as guarantee of passage through the Very Expensive Forest, as demanded by the Knights of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Ni.â&#x20AC;?

The musical departs from the film and is effectively updated with a number of extravagant production numbers including â&#x20AC;&#x153;Knight of the Round Table,â&#x20AC;? set in a Camelot that is, not surprisingly, reminiscent of its new home in Las Vegas, complete with sequined showgirls; â&#x20AC;&#x153;Come with Me,â&#x20AC;? as the Lady of the Lake makes her move, backed up by her â&#x20AC;&#x153;Laker Girls,â&#x20AC;? a salute to the NBA teamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s professional dance squad; and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Always Look on the Bright Side of Life,â&#x20AC;? a showcase of expert choreography as armored knights perform a Fred Astaire-inspired number, complete with umbrellas.

As could be expected at any musical, gay boys were very well represented in the audience, and most sat up in Act II as Sir Lancelot, played by the absolutely hot Patrick Heusinger, realizes he, too, is gay. His chain mail is ripped off to reveal a resplendent, sequined codpiece that shone as the disco ball was lowered and the stage turned into a medieval version of the old Dixie Bell nightclub.

Overall, Spamalot is a very entertaining show that appeals to all audiences â&#x20AC;&#x201D; gay, straight, old, young â&#x20AC;&#x201D; as evidenced by the constant laughter. Broadway musicals are rarely overly serious works, and time will be the judge. Spamalot shares a slapstick allegorical approach, but lacks the underlying sophistication of a classic show like Stephen Sondheimâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s A Funny

Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.

Kudos go to Michael Siberry as King Arthur, who successfully carried out the roles created on Broadway by Tim Curry.

Spamalot runs through Sep. 4â&#x20AC;&#x201C;16 at Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South. Tickets $25â&#x20AC;&#x201C;75, 355-ARTS or arttix.org.

Q uips The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week.

When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the beneďŹ ts of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans.

The only rule was that they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products, that captured the essence of Viagra.

Slight variations were acceptable.

About seven minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top Ten List. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone.

The top ten were: 10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!

9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper.

8. Viagra, Like a rock!

7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.

6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.

5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.

4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

3. Viagra, home of the whopper!

2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!

And the unanimous number one slogan: 1. This is your winkie. This is your winkie on drugs.

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32  Q S A LT L A K E  I S S U E 8 5  S E P T E M B E R 1, 2 0 0 7

Rox Box

By Mikey Rox

FFRRID IDAAYY

Aug 31

M A J R A BEe Dance and Rub Up Against’s

ce’s n ia Come ll A r a e B h a t a Bear for the U h DJ RUCKUS it

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R A E W R E UND TOut! H G I N Don’t Miss ! s t h ig n r a l u p o p Our most

O I T A P E H T FINAL BBQ ON BER 2 M E T P E S Y A D N SU

, io t a P e h t n o Q B Sundays – B$1 Drafts ies n e e W d e k a o S r e e Mondays – Bart Tournament at 7pm, Tuesdays – D$1 Drafts y o T y o B J D – s Friday $1 Drafts s J D g n li e u D – s y a y Saturd Dennis and BoSySToINTERNET ELE FREE WIRhat, Sip and Enjoy Come C

If you were lucky enough to score tickets to this summer’s True Colors Tour then its eponymous soundtrack, True Colors, might help you remember what happened before and after your alcohol-induced blackout. Like the groundbreaking event itself, True Colors features songs from some of today’s hottest gay and gay-friendly artists, including The Dresden Dolls, Indigo Girls, Rufus Wainwright, Debbie Harry, The Gossip, and Cazwell, to name a few. The Cliks, the Toronto-based foursome led by transgender vocalist/guitarist Lucas Silveira, also appear on the album with its single “Oh Yeah,” an aggressive pop-rock track about the perils of stabbing friends in the back. Jeffree Star, 21 – whose growing popularity is owed almost entirely to MySpace – also contributes to the disc with his nod to narcissism, “Plastic Surgery Slumber Party,” a robotic romp through a land where

bodily reconstruction and daily regurgitation is required. Rounding out the album is the Erasure exclusive “Early Bird (DJ Manolo’s True Colors Mix),” and Cyndi Lauper’s own 1980s hit, “True Colors (Morel’s Pink Noise Mix),” the festival’s unofficial theme song.

o “ fl M M “ In 1976, disco diva G m Thelma Houston pleaded her case b with “Don’t Leave w w Me This Way.” Three decades later t

you don’t have to.

Her first album in 17 years, Houston delivers A Woman’s Touch, a cover album brimming with songs made popular by some of the biggest male singers in R&B and pop. From the blues-influenced makeover of Sting’s “Brand New Day” to gay icon Sylvester’s “Disco Heat/Mighty Real” — a poignant gospel song this time around — HoustonO not only injects an air of femininity into these — familiar tracks, but completely reinvents them as c new hits. Suddenly, Jimmy Webb’s “By the Time f I Get to Phoenix” is fresh again with an l

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old-school flair, while the late Luther Vandross’ “Never Too Much” returns as a triumphant dance floor anthem. Other tracks include “Please Send Me Someone to Love,” originally by Percy Mayfield; Marvin Gaye’s “Distant Lover”; and “Love and Happiness,” first made famous by Al Green. “A Woman’s Touch is my tribute to the men who, in my humble opinion, are among the best artists of our time,” Houston says. “My aim was not to change the meaning of the songs, I was just hoping to infuse a new personality to the old classics.”

If there’s one word to describe newcomer Naommon’s debut album, Allnighter, it’s “electro-purplefluoro-plastic-sulkyacid-soul-clashydisco-sequin-pop.”

OK, so that’s several words strung together — and a description by the singer himself — but come on, you’ve gotta admit that it’s quite fantastic. But, does Allnighter live up to this liberal use of adjectives? In a word, yes-if-you-

like-the-glitter-to-grit-of-grounded-electrosoul. A former contestant on the French TV talent show “Popstars,” Naommon brings his Parisian experience to Harlem, N.Y., where he’s combining his musical influences — David Bowie, Prince and Deee-Lite, among others — to create his own sound, which easily can be dubbed ‘innovative reminiscence.’ Allnighter’s title track is a clear indication of the young artist’s 1980s upbringing — synthesizers and all — while tracks like “Hurry Up” hustle back a decade with its undeniable disco flair. Flipping on the soul switch to clubland’s often apathetic aura, Naommon gives you new reason to sweat till the sun rises.

beats were infiltrating mainstream America. For instance, “Hip Hop A Lula,” an ’80s inspired rap track popped up at multiplexes across the country on trailers for “Rush Hour 3”; “Can I Get Get Get,” was featured on an episode of ABC’s hit comedy “Ugly Betty”; and “Take My Time” was picked up for the PSP game “Lumines 2.”

So much for staying underground, boys. But what’s even better about Hey Hey My My Yo Yo, besides its contents’ ubiquity, is that Jesper Mortensen (Junior) and Jeppe Laursen (Senior) haven’t compromised their musical prudence for the ever-decreasing dollar. The result is another inimitable album that promises nothing more than to put a smile on your face.

You don’t have to get your hands on Junior Senior’s latest album, Hey Hey My My Yo Yo, to hear what the Danish duo has to offer this time around. That’s because before the disc ever hit shelves, a bevy of their bouncy

For the past 30 years, Reba McEntire has commanded a spot atop the countrymusic charts. This year will be no different. McEntire — who has sold more than 60 million records worldwide — will soon release

Community Guide Organizations ALCOHOL & DRUG TREATMENT

BUSINESS & Professional Aetna ANGLE. . . . . . . . . . . 256-7137 HuntR@Aetna.com Armed Forces Support Group. . . . . . . 581-7890 LGBTQ-Affirmative Psychotherapists Guild of Utah www.lgbtqtherapists.com Pride at Work, Utah Chapter. . . . . . . . 531-6137

EDUCATIONAL Information & Referral Ctr 9. 78-3333 informationandreferral.org UofU Women’s Resource Center. . . . . . . . . . . . . 581-8030 sa.utah.edu/women UofU LGBT Resource Ctr . . 587-7973

HEALTH & HIV Camp Pinecliff . . . . . . . . . 518-8733 City of Hope, Utah . . . . . . 531-6334 Gay Men’s Health Summit — Village utahgaymenshealth.com Northern Utah HIV/AIDS Project Walk-Ins Welcome. Every other Monday 5–7pm 846 24th St, Ogden . . 393-4153 People with AIDS Coalition of Utah 1055 E 2100 S. Ste 208. 484-2205 SL Valley Health Dept. HIV/STD Clinic 610 S 200 E. . . . . . . . . 534-4666 University of Utah Department of Family and Preventative Medicine uuhsc.utah.edu/dfpm. 581-7234 Utah AIDS Foundation. . . . 487-2323 utahaids.org, mail@utahaids.org

Homeless Services Center for Women and Children. . . . . . . . . . . . 261-9177 Homeless Youth Resource Center Youth ages 15-21.

655 S State St . . . . . . . 364-0744 The Road Home . . . . . . . . 359-4142 theroadhome.org YWCA, 322 E 300 S. . . . . . 537-8600

American Civil Liberties Union, ACLU . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 521-9862 acluutah.org, aclu@acluutah.org Disability Law Ctr. . (800) 662-9080 info@disabilitylawcenter.org EQUALITY UTAH. . . . . . . . . 355-3479 equalityutah.org, info@equalityutah.org Human Rights Campaign . . . . . . . . . . . . . (202) 628-4160 Human Rights Campaign, Utah hrc.org, HRCSaltLakeUT@aol.com Log Cabin Republicans, Utah lcrutah.org, lcr@lcrutah.org Utah Stonewall Democrats utahstonewalldemocrats.org njmikeutah@yahoo.com 455 S 300 E, Ste 102. . 328-1212

RELIGIOUS & SPIRITUAL Affirmation — Salt Lake Chapter affirmation.org. . . . . . . 486-6977 Cache Valley Unitarian Universalists 596 E 900 N, Logan . 435-755-2888 First Baptist Church of Salt Lake firstbaptist-slc.org, office@firstbaptist-slc.org 777 S 1300 E. . . . . . . . 582-4921 First Unitarian Church slcuu.org 569 S 1300 E . . . . . . . 582-8687 Glory to God Community Church 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden . . . . . . . . . . . . . 394-0204 Holladay United Church of Christ 2631 E Murray-Holladay Rd . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 277-2631 Inner Light Center. . . . . . . 268-1137 innerlightcenter.net Integrity/Utah - St. James Church. . .

566-1311 Lifebreath Center/Interfaith Ministry 363-9229 Metropolitan Community Church – Bridgerland, 1315 E 700 N, Logan . . . . . . . . (435) 750-5026 Provo Comm. United Church of Christ 175 N University Ave, Provo. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 375-9115 Restoration Church of Jesus Christ 2900 S State St. . . . . . 359-1151 Sacred Light of Christ Metropolitan Community Church 823 S 600 E. . . . . . . . . 595-0052

South Valley Unitarian Universalist Society 6876 S Highland Drive. 944-9723 Unitarian Universalist Church of Ogden 705 23rd St, Ogden. . . 394-3338

SOCIAL Affirmation — Salt Lake Chapter affirmation.org. . . . . . . 486-6977 Best Friends Animal Sanctuary strutyourmutt.org . . . . 483-2000 Bisexual Community Forum . . . . . . . . . . . . 539-8800 ext 14 Meets the 2nd Thurs each month at 7pm in the Multi-purpose room at the Center.

Body Electric—Celebrating the Body Erotic. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 322-1444 slcbecordinator@msn.com Camp Pinecliff . . . . . . . . . 518-8733 Coloring Outside The Lines . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 957-4562 Delta Lambda Sappho Union Weber State Univ.. . . . 627-1639 Engendered Species engenderedspecies.com.320-0551 Gamofites gamofites.org . . . . . . . 444-3602 Gay and Lesbian Parents of Utah. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 467-9010 glccu.com/glpu, glpu@hotmail.com Gay Men’s Health Summit — INVENIO utahgaymenshealth.com Imperial Rainbow Court of Northern Utah, irconu.org Kindly Gifts by Stitch & Bitch . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 487-7008 P-FLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) pflagslc.org Polyamory Society. . . . . . 309-7240 1st Tue 7-9:30pm at the Black Box Theater at the Center qVinum gay & lesbian wine group www.qvinum.com Retired and Senior Volunteer Program. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 779-1287 Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire. . . . . . . . . . . . . 531-1115 rcgse.org, chairman@rcgse.org Southern Utah GLBT Community Center. . . . . . . . (435) 313-GLBT groups.yahoo.com/groups/suglbtcc, suglbtcc@yahoo.com

Who is Mikey Rox? Who gives a fuck! But you can visit him at myspace.com/roxmikey.

STRENGTH IN NUMBERS (SIN) SALT LAKE health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ SINSaltLake sWerve swerveutah.com U of U Women’s Resource Center. . . . . . . . . . . . . 581-8030 sa.utah.edu/women U of U LGBT Resource Center. . . . . . . . . . . . . 587-7973 UTAH BEAR ALLIANCE utahbears.com. . . . . . . 949-3989 Utah Families Coalition, UFC . . . . . . . . . 539-8800 Ext. 23 utahfamilies.org, admin@utahfamilies.org Utah Gay Pride 2007 utahpride.org Utah Male Naturists www.umen.org Utah Power Exchange. . . . 975-0346 utahpowerexchange.org Membership@UtahPowerExchange.org UTAH PRIDE CENTER utahpridecenter.org, thecenter@utahpridecenter.org 361 N 300 W. . . . . . . . 539-8800 Toll-free. . . . . . . . 888-874-2743 Utah Queer Events groups.yahoo.com/group/ UtahQueerEvents Western Transsexual Support Group.

(435) 882-8136

SPORTS Frontrunners Utah. . . . . . . 519-8889 frontrunnersutah.org Lambda Hiking Club . . . . . 532-8447 gayhike.org Mountain West Flag Football League mwffl.org . . . . . . . . . . 359-2544 Mountain West Volleyball League slcgaa.org . . . . . . . . . . 407-6183 QUAC – QUEER UTAH AQUATIC CLUB quacquac.org, questions@quacquac.org. . . . . . . . . . . . 232-7961 Salt Lake City Gay Athletic Association, slcgaa.org Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League. . . . . . . . . . . . . 832-9745 Stonewall Shooting Sports of Utah stonewallshootingsportsutah.org

Utah Gay and Lesbian Ski Week communityvisions.org . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 877-429-6368 Utah Gay Mountain Bike Riders sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/ utahgaymtnbike

UNIVERSITY & COLLEGE Gay and at BYU groups.yahoo.com/group/gayandatBYU/

Gay-Straight Alliance Network gsanetwork.org/ University of Utah Lesbian & Gay Student Union utah.edu/lgsu/ Salt Lake Community College Coloring Outside the Lines. . . . . 957-4562 coloring_outside_lines@yahoo.com Southern Utah University Pride suu.edu/orgs/pride/ Utah State University Pride Alliance groups.yahoo.com/group/usupride/ Utah State University Gay and Lesbian Student Resource Center usu.edu/ glsrc, . . . . . . . . . . 435-797-4297 usuglsrc@yahoo.com Utah Valley State College Gay Straight Alliance uvsc.edu/clubs/club.cfm?clubID=251 groups.yahoo.com/group/uvscgsa Weber State University Gay Straight Alliance organizations.weber.edu/dlsu/ groups.yahoo.com/group/WeberDLSU WeberDLSU@yahoo.com

YOUTH Homeless Youth Resource Center Youth ages 15-21.

655 S State St. . . . . . . 364-0744 Gay LDS Young Adults glya.com Youth Activity Center Drop-in hours: Wednesdays: 3 – 9 pm, Thursdays: 3 – 9 pm Fridays: 3 – 10 pm, Saturdays: 5 – 10 pm 355 N 300 W. . . . . 539-8800 x14

To get your not-forprofit organization listed, please email ­editor@qsaltlake.com.

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Alcohol/Drug Detoxification Center. . . . . . . . . . . . . 363-9400 Alcoholics Anonymous. . . . 484-7871 utahaa.org . Sunday 3pm — Acceptance Group, Utah Pride Center Monday 8pm — Gay Men’s Stag Utah Pride Center . Tuesday 8pm — Live and Let Live St Pauls Episcopal Church . Wednesday 7:30pm — Sober Today 4601 S 300 W, Washington Terrace . Friday 8pm — Stonewall Group St Pauls Episcopal Church, 261 S 900 E Alternatives, Inc.. . .(800) 342-5429 alternativesinc.com alternativesinc@att.net Center for Women and Children. . . . . . . . . . . . 261-9177 Crystal Meth Anonymous. 859-4132 crystalmeth.org . Saturday 7:30pm — Utah Pride Ctr Discovery House. . . . . . . . 596-2111 discoveryhouse.com First Step House 411 N Grant St. . . . . . . 359-8862 Harm Reduction Project . . 355-0234 ihrproject.org The Haven . . . . . . . . . . . . 533-0070 Metamorphosis breakaddiction.org Ogden Clinic, 536 24th St, Ste 6-A . . 622-5272 Salt Lake City Clinic, 339 E 3900 S. . . . . . . . 261-5790 Serenity House uafut.org Substance Abuse Day Treatment Program. . . . . . . . . . . . 355-1528

QUEST (Queer Utah Educators & Students Together) . . . 809-5595 National Conference for Community and Justice 359 W Pierpont Ave. . . 359-5102 National Organization for Women . . . . . . . . . . . . 483-5188 Pride at Work, Utah Chapter. . . . . . . . 531-6137 Salt Lake County Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Employees. . . 273-6280 jdonchess@slco.org UTAH GLBT BUSINESS GUILD utahglbtbusinessguild.org Utah Progressive Network. 466-0955

POLITICAL

her 29th album, Reba Duets, featuring guests artists such as LeAnn Rimes, Rascal Flatts, Faith Hill, Kelly Clarkson and Kenny Chesney. From the moment you hear McEntire’s powerful, precise voice — with its distinctive southern drawl — you know that something positively amazing is about to take place. Combine that with the music industry’s brightest stars and, well, you might need to change your knickers. There are tons of surprises on this disc, too. From Kelly Clarkson’s re-imagined “Because of You,” on which the “American Idol” winner provides backing vocals, to a duet with none other than Justin Timberlake on “The Only Promise That Remains,” Duets isn’t so much a CD comprised of big-name collaborators as it is a culmination of three decades’ worth of blood, sweat and — in true country fashion — tears. “I’m thrilled to death with the folks that came and did the project with me,” says McEntire. “It’s a great, eclectic group, and it was great to work with them and spend time with them.”

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Q Scene

Arts and Entertainment Editor catches the scene at Lagoon Day

QSaltLake photographer Kim Russo grabs the action at one of the final Pride Softball League games

The Women’s Red Rock Music Festival in Torrey, Utah draws over 400 people

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EVENTS THIS MONTH AT THE

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SEPT 1 SATURDAY 6p Twelve Step: Free to be Me 7:30p Crystal Meth Anonymous SEPT 2 SUNDAY 1p Neighborhood Potluck 3p Twelve Step: GLBT AA SEPT 3 MONDAY 6p Just Q! 8p Twelve Step: Gay Men’s AA SEPT 4 TUESDAY 7p Women’s Support Group 7p Utah Polyamory Society Meeting 8p Twelve Step: Live & Let Live SEPT 5 WEDNESDAY 12p Men’s Sack Lunch 7:30p Twelve Step: Sober Today SEPT 6 THURSDAY 4p Free HIV Testing 5p Transgender Youth Group 6:30p Transgender Adult Support Group SEPT 7 FRIDAY 8p Twelve Step: Stonewall Group SEPT 8 SATURDAY 6p Twelve Step: Free to be Me 7:30p Crystal Meth Anonymous SEPT 9 SUNDAY 3p Twelve Step: GLBT AA 4p Rainbow Roundup Committee Meeting SEPT 10 MONDAY 6p Just Q! 8p Twelve Step: Gay Men’s AA SEPT 11 TUESDAY 3p Public Safety Meeting 7p PFLAG 7:30p Royal Court Meeting 7:30p Men’s Support Group 8p Twelve Step: Live & Let Live SEPT 12 WEDNESDAY 12p Men’s Sack Lunch 5p HIV Testing 7:30p Twelve Step: Sober Today SEPT 13 THURSDAY 5p Transgender Youth Group 6:30p Transgender Adult Support Group 7p Bisexual Community Forum SEPT 14 FRIDAY 7p Gay Bingo at First Baptist Church 8p Twelve Step: Stonewall Group SEPT 15 SATURDAY 10a Western Transsexual Support Network 6p Twelve Step: Free to be Me 7:30p Crystal Meth Anonymous SEPT 16 SUNDAY 12p Rainbow Classic Car Club 3p Twelve Step: GLBT AA 4p Utah Rainbow Roundup Fiesta 7p LDS Reconciliation SEPT 17 MONDAY 6p Just Q! 8p Twelve Step: Gay Men’s AA SEPT 18 TUESDAY 7p Women’s Support Group 8p Twelve Step: Live & Let Live SEPT 19 WEDNESDAY 12p Men’s Sack Lunch 7:30p Twelve Step: Sober Today SEPT 20 THURSDAY 4p Free HIV Testing 5p Transgender Youth Group 6:30p Transgender Adult Support Group SEPT 21 FRIDAY 8p Twelve Step: Stonewall Group SEPT 22 SATURDAY 6p Twelve Step: Free to be Me 7:30p Crystal Meth Anonymous SEPT 23 SUNDAY 3p Twelve Step: GLBT AA 7p Utah Polyamory Society Meeting SEPT 24 MONDAY 6p Just Q! 8p Twelve Step: Gay Men’s AA SEPT 25 TUESDAY 7:30p Men’s Support Group 8p Twelve Step: Live & Let Live SEPT 26 WEDNESDAY 12p Men’s Sack Lunch 7:30p Twelve Step: Sober Today SEPT 27 THURSDAY 5p Transgender Youth Group 6:30p Transgender Adult Support Group SEPT 28 FRIDAY 8p Twelve Step: Stonewall Group SEPT 29 SATURDAY 6p Twelve Step: Free to be Me 7:30p Crystal Meth Anonymous SEPT 30 SUNDAY 3p Twelve Step: GLBT AA

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Q Toys for Grrls It’s All About the Lube

By Shane Cassidy

When it comes right down to it, the base of any good ‘pleasure box’ stored under your bed should always contain the one thing you just can’t do without — great lube. Nothing is more annoying than sticky, greasy goo when you’re looking for good, sweet loving.

One of the most significant lacks I find in most people’s bedrooms (gay and straight) is the absence of a high-quality lube. It is astounding how many bedroom bandits fail to use lube at all. Or if they do, they use some sticky, nasty substance like KY — which is enough to put anyone off using lube ever again.

There are two things you need to know about lube. First, needing lube is NOT a failure. It is perfectly natural to need a little extra lubrication when you’re getting it on by yourself, or with your partner. Girl, guy or any combination thereof — sometimes your own natural juices simply just aren’t enough.

Feel no shame, embrace the love!

Second, lube should not be a necessity, it should be a luxury. Good lube can turn a fun, but sometimes uncomfortable experience into a rip-roaring, orgasmfilled lust fest. Lube can extend your pleasure, increase your arousal and keep the party going for long after you’d normally stop without it. Great lube is a wonderful thing.

So, now that we have established that you need to be jumping on the lube bandwagon (and then the nearest warm body), let’s check out my top picks for a smooth & silky night of play.

Emerita Natural Lube By far, bar none, Emerita Natural Lube is my absolute favorite when it comes to bedroom play. Emerita is a woman-owned and operated company that creates products designed for a woman’s special chemistry. Their products are never tested on animals and its water-based formula contains no parabens, mineral oil, petroleum or animal products. Parabens are a group of chemicals widely used as preservatives in the cosmetic and pharmaceutical industries. In some people, parabens can cause an allergic reaction and some recent controversial studies have possibly linked them to breast cancer tumors. So, to be better safe than sorry, Emerita has eliminated them from their lube.

Emerita provides an incredibly silky, non-sticky feel that leaves you feeling sexy, not greasy. Allantoin, a botanical extract of comfrey, works to promote skin health and calm irritations, while Vitamin E moisturizes and glycerin keeps things slick. The lube is compatible with safe sex materials and toys — something quite a few lubricants aren’t, which is why you should always read your lube label!

One of the major bonuses of this lube is its lack of staining on fabric. Lube tends to get places where you don’t want it, as well as where you do. Emerita doesn’t really leave stains, like some other lubes, and anything it does leave washes out easily in the next wash. It is also completely non-toxic. The only downside to Emerita Natural Lube is its staying power. As light as it is, you might find that it absorbs a little more quickly than you might like. However, applying the lube a little more liberally and re-applying a little extra now and then will do the job admirably.

Entice by Babeland Something about Entice by Babeland, packaged in a sleek and sexy glass pump bottle, just makes you want to keep it by the bedside out in the open — proudly proclaiming: “Yes, I have a fabulous sex life!” Created by Babeland’s ‘sex specialists’, Entice is a smooth, slippery lube that gives plenty of action with a small amount of application. The convenient pump bottle also lets you dish out the right amount without spilling it all over everything, which anyone in the heat of passion will tell you is a very nice feature.

Entice is water-based and latex friendly, but does contain parabens, for those who would prefer to skip those in their lube. We’d like to see Babeland reformulate Entice to eliminate the parabens, which would probably push this lube up to our number one favorite — though of course changing formulas can change the consistency of the lube. Entice is high quality and high performance and delivers a bit more staying power than the Emerita Natural Lube.

Body Fluid Personally, I prefer to steer away from silicone-based lubricants for a variety of reasons. By nature, they are not water soluble, which is good for hot tub playtime, but bad for your clothing, sheets or other fabrics. And while they are sex-barrier safe, they should never be used with silicone-based toys. However, I have included Body Fluid, which is silicone-based, on my list for one simple reason — it rocks. Body Fluid is super slick and incredibly long-lasting. Plus, if you do enjoy getting action in the hot tub, pool, shower or nearby skinnydipping spot, this lube will work decently even underwater. And yes, although water is wet, it isn’t all that slippery — and sometimes you need lube no matter how wet you are. Body Fluid is totally odorless, tasteless and highly concentrated, so a little goes quite a long way.

Lube Sampler If none of the above seem to tickle your fancy, you might want to check out the lovely Lube Sampler pack from Babeland.com. This sampler includes seven one-time-use bottles of great water-based lubes: Sliquid Swirl Green Apple, Sliquid H20, Slippery Stuff Gel, Liquid Silk, BabeLube (another personal favorite), Maximus and O’My. Trying out a sample pack really gives you insight into how very different such simple products can be. Q

Classifieds Help Wanted DRIVER NEEDED. QSaltLake needs a driver twice monthly to distribute newspapers and TheQPages directories. $7.50 per hour plus mileage. Must have reliable car, own insurance and a drivers license. We deliver on Thursday nights and Friday. Call 6496663.

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HOMES FOR SALE

Marmalade Square This Contemporary style Condo Home built in 1961 has 2 bedroom(s), 1.00 bath(s) and is approximately 747 sq. ft.

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>Â?Â? $166,900â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$176,900. Call Ă&#x2022;Â?Â&#x2C6;iĂ&#x160;-Â&#x2C6;Â?Ă&#x203A;iÂ&#x153;Ă&#x2022;Ă&#x192; Terry Jackson Mitchn䣰xäĂ&#x201C;°{xäĂ&#x2021; Â&#x2DC;Ă&#x17E;VĂ&#x192;Â?VĂ&#x2C6;nJĂ&#x17E;>Â&#x2026;Â&#x153;Â&#x153;°VÂ&#x153;Â&#x201C; ell 801-347-0333 or Jenni , Ă&#x160; i}>VĂ&#x17E;Ă&#x160;,i>Â?Ă&#x152;Â&#x153;Ă&#x20AC;Ă&#x192; fer Jackson 801-674-4669

West Valley. Great home for first time buyer or investor. 3-bed, 1125 sq ft, large lot with room for garden. Original hardwoods, new roof, A/C, windows, kitchen countertops. Nice home.

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ROOMMATE ads

are just $5! Call 649-6663 or 1-800-806-7357 or qsaltlake.com to place yours today!

Q Puzzle

QSaltLake Classifieds Work and they are ­Affordable.

What a great combination!

A tribute to the late Merv Griffin

Across 1 Click it to go to AfterEllen.com 5 Gay couples can exchange them in Canada 9 Pink Triangle Press publication 13 Auntie disestablishmentarian?

14 Privy to 15 Anthropologist Margaret 16 Tutti-frutti ingredient 17 Ed Wood role for 27Down 18 Drag role for John Travolta

PETS FOR SALE Cute Female Yorkie Pupp for sale. Parents are champions from known kennels.Healthy, lots of wrinkles, big head and big chest. A guarantee of health.

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Neutered and up-to-date on all shots. $250 Call 801860-2682

Personal Training

ONE Trainer â&#x20AC;˘ One Goal â&#x20AC;˘ One Ultimate You. Ă&#x2022;Â?Â&#x2C6;iĂ&#x160;-Â&#x2C6;Â?Ă&#x203A;iÂ&#x153;Ă&#x2022;Ă&#x192; For free consultation, n䣰xäĂ&#x201C;°{xäĂ&#x2021; Â&#x2DC;Ă&#x17E;VĂ&#x192;Â?VĂ&#x2C6;nJĂ&#x17E;>Â&#x2026;Â&#x153;Â&#x153;°VÂ&#x153;Â&#x201C; call Steve at 688-1918 , Ă&#x160; i}>VĂ&#x17E;Ă&#x160;,i>Â?Ă&#x152;Â&#x153;Ă&#x20AC;Ă&#x192; Classifieds continue on p. 38

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Uranus

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A Cryptogram is a puzzle where one letter in the puzzle is substituted with another. For example: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! Has the solution: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! In the above example Es are all replaced by Cs. The puzzle is solved by recognizing letter patterns in a word or words and successively substituting letters until the solution is reached. This weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hint: S=A Theme: Republican Biblical Saying

An anagram is a word or phrase that can be made using the letters from another word or phrase. Rearrange the letters below to answer:

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First Here

PUZZLE SOLUTIONS ARE ON PAGE 38

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8 Screw-up 9 McKellenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Magneto movie 10 Food and wine expert Allen 11 Went lickety-split 12 1993 Carole Maso novel 20 They go down south for the winter 21 Threesome for Caligula 24 What pupils watching porn may do 25 Bring out 26 Quenches 27 Martin, who won an Oscar for playing 17Across 28 Printouts at 9-Across 29 ___ music (does Shaimanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s job) 31 What tail 33 Where to have cybersex 36 Is unlike Dorian Gray

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Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s All in the Game

Charming bugalow close to downtown and Capitol Hill, only a 10 minute walk to the Gateway. This home has a large open porch, fireplace, and French doors to the living room. It features all new stainless steel appliances which are included and also new water heater, disposal, washer & dryer, and upstairs bath. There is a separate entrance to the basement with a 2nd kitchen. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s room for a 2-car garage on the lot.

A 1 year home warranty is included. 277 N 800 W, Salt Lake City, $170,000.

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FOR RENT

SUGAR HOUSE Duplex. Cute 1 bedroom, living room, office, kitchen, basement w/ washer/dryer hookup.

Fully-fenced large yard (large dog okay). Large gardening area, produce, flowers, etc. Garage and addl storage area. Super cool swamp cooler. Unique duplex in the heart of Sugar House. Close walk to coffees shops, cafes, book stores, etc. Great area.

Drive by take a look â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 1019 E 1860 S (Garfield), $850 Call Brian at 303807-6138.

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Lesbianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Guide to Oral Sex

by Joseph Dewey joseph@qsaltlake.com

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m like a lot of straight guys. I thought I was really good at going down on women.

My technique used to be, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Stick out my tongue and let the woman fuck my face.â&#x20AC;? That worked really well, or at least until I got a little too hard and got really bad carpet burn.

I realized I needed some expert advice about oral sex techniques. So I interviewed eight lesbians.

During my interviews, I kept hearing there is a lot to know about receiving, which really confused me. I thought, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t you just lie there?â&#x20AC;? But from a womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s perspective, communication during receiving is an important part of the whole sexual experience.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never understood communication from a womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s point of view until now, but I think I finally get it: The people giving and receiving communicate. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s like dancing, moving together until communication is second nature,â&#x20AC;? one lesbian said. I never expected to learn communication skills while researching oral sex.

Straight women have complained about my communication in the past, but their complaints never made sense.

But during the interviews, I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hear people complaining about people complaining. I heard useful information about communication, sex and cunnilingus.

This is what I learned about going down on women: â&#x20AC;˘ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hey baby, are you coming?â&#x20AC;? Do sensuously ask, â&#x20AC;&#x153;More of

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Solutions from page 37

Cryptogram:

Classifieds Continued from p. 38

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Q Sex

this?â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;˘ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t start out rough. Do end up rough ... after a very long buildup. â&#x20AC;˘ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t guess what turns her on. Do learn about her anatomy. â&#x20AC;˘ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t keep quiet when youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re receiving. Do tell your partner what you like and whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s working. â&#x20AC;˘ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t start out with her clit. Do respect, admire and worship her clit. â&#x20AC;˘ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do anything sexual that youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re uncomfortable doing. Do respect her and respect yourself. â&#x20AC;˘ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t assume that if it feels good to you, it feels good to her. Do realize women are turned on by foreplay. â&#x20AC;˘ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think only about you. Do ask her about her wants. â&#x20AC;˘ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t grope. Do touch and caress. â&#x20AC;˘ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t focus on inserting things. Do focus on the clitoris. â&#x20AC;˘ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t treat all clits the same. Do learn about where the pleasure spots are on her clitoris. â&#x20AC;˘ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t change techniques too often.

Do start slowly, gradually build momentum and keep doing what she responds to. â&#x20AC;˘ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stop touching her. Do continue the stimulation. â&#x20AC;˘ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t rush. Do take your time and let her take her time. â&#x20AC;˘ Do use a dental dam during oral sex. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Really?â&#x20AC;? I asked. I hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t actually met anyone who had talked about using protection personally during oral sex. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yes, really,â&#x20AC;? I was told. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Unless Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m in a relationship where weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve both been tested, I always use protection.â&#x20AC;?

Lesbians practice safe oral sex.

Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s really cool.

One woman summed it up really well: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Kissing slowly down her body toward the hot zone, I tease my way close, move away, going closer next time.

With thorough exploration of her inner thighs, the creases, outer and inner labia, I give long licks from perineum to clit and back, alternating wide tongue with sharp tongue. I taste the vaginal opening then thrust in.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;The clit should be treated as an individual with her own build up, starting slow and easy from the base, circling, pausing at moments and finding the most responsive parts along the base. I only stroke the tip when she most begs for it. Many women find the pleasure most intense when a finger strokes the G-spot at the same time. When I do this with enough patience, she may even gush like a fountain!â&#x20AC;?

Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the kind of expert advice you can only get from a lesbian. Q

TELL YOUR ADVERTISERS YOU SAW THEM IN THE QSALTLAKE CLASSIFIEDS

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