QSaltLake Magazine - April 24, 2008 by QSaltLake Magazine

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South Valley Unitarian Universalist Society Celebr ates its 25th Anniversary!

May 9, 10, and 11, 2008

To mark this special occasion, the Reverend Bill Sinkford, president of the UUA, will join us, along with former SVUUS ministers and many former members and friends! Friday, May 9th 7pm A music and desserts program with Judy Fjell Suggested Donation $5

Saturday, May 10th 6pm Wine, cheese, and conversations with our guests Sunday, May 11th 10:30am Celebration Sunday South Valley Unitarian Universalist Society 6876 South Highland Drive (2000 East) Cottonwood Heights, Utah 84121 801-944-9723 â&#x20AC;˘ svuus@xmisson.com â&#x20AC;˘ www.svuus.org

TICKETS NOW ON SALE AT KINGTIX.COM

Staff Box editor-in-chief

In This Issue

michael aaron assistant editor

joselle vanderhooft arts editor

ISSUE 101 • APRIL 24, 2008 News

World . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Quips & Quotes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Local. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Community Briefs. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Page 6 Page 6 Page 8 Page 8

Views

Letters. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 12 Q on the Street. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 13 Queer Gnosis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 13 Gay Geeks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 14 Snaps & Slaps. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 14 David Samsel. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 15 Ruby Ridge. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 16 Fabulous People . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 18 The Perils of Petunia Pap-Smear. Page 19

A&E

The Gay Agenda. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Save the Date. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Review . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Crossword Puzzle . . . . . . . . . . . . . Comics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Cryptogram . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sudoku. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Anagram. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Classifieds

Real Estate. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Roommates . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Service Guide. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Massage. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Back Page. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

tony hobday copy editor

jennifer morgan

Page 26 Page 26 Page 27 Page 33 Page 33 Page 33 Page 35 Page 35 Page 34 Page 35 Page 35 Page 37 Page 40

Feature

contributors

lynn beltran joseph dewey ruth hackford-peer david samsel ross von metzke duane wells troy williams

anthony cuesta troy espera ruby ridge ryan shattuck dylan vox ben williams rex wockner

photographers

laurie kaufman william munk kim russo sales manager

brad di iorio office manager

tony hobday distribution

Q Pets. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 20

manuel hernandez gary horenkamp courtney moser publisher

salt lick publishing, llc 1055 e 2100 s, ste 205 salt lake city, utah 84106

From the Editor Santaquin’s Gay Pride Parade by Michael Aaron

Santaquin, Utah, had its first gay pride parade last Saturday, April 19. Well, that may be a slight overstatement. But at 10:00 in the morning, the Salt Lake Men’s Choir found themselves victim to a “check engine” light on their bus heading down to St. George for their annual pilgrimage to sing in the St. George Opera House. After it was obvious that the initial “20-minute” promise was not to be (a choir member overheard the LeBus driver calling his office asking for some screws to be brought down and we were an hour away), most of the singers began a journey to the nearest restaurant for brunch. In the lead — a young newlywed couple gleefully holding hands. And we all know the swish of many of the rest of the choir. It’s hard to know what caused the most stares as Santaquinians drove by — 50 men walking 2-by-2 down the road, 50 men with swishes walking 2-by-2 down the street, or 2 men holding hands. Any of those happenings are stare-worthy. As we ascended on the One Man Band Diner, most of the staff were out in the parking lot on break. Again, were the looks of shock on their face caused by men holding hands or the fact that a restaurant-full of men were descending upon them? Luckily, after we were all stuffed with hash browns and pancakes, we saw the bus rounding the corner to retrieve us from our out-of-placeness. And on we went. The choir then made a stop in (insert joke here) Beaver, as it does every year for another smoke break. And then finally, as usual, we stopped at the factory outlet mall in St. George for a quick shop-neat. I think it is fantastic that the choir touches these rural towns, even in such small ways. In the 80s and early 90s, one of the goals of groups like Queer Nation

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and Lesbian Avengers was to confront and desensitize the American public to gay affection and show the depth and breadth of the gay community. For 25 years, the choir has sought to build bridges between our various communities through song. Whether it is through fun and camp, like when we sing “Sisters, sisters, There were never such devoted sisters,” or when we sing heart-tugging songs that take on new meaning with the knowledge that over 60 gay men are the ones performing. There are three such songs that I, at times, have a difficult time getting through while singing. “No one’s gonna hurt you, No one’s gonna dare. Others can desert you, Not to worry, whistle, I’ll be there,” from Sweeny Todd’s “Not While I’m Around” can make you remember those thrown from their families once it is found out their child is gay. “If I ruled the world, every man would say the world was his friend. There’d be happiness that no man could end, No my friend, not if I ruled the world. Every head would be held up high. There’d be sunshine in everyone’s sky. If the day ever dawned when I ruled the world.” Is this what Sen. Chris Buttars and his ilk think every morning they wake up and cast votes during the legislative session? Is it anywhere close? Or perhaps the most obvious, The Hunchback of Notre Dame’s “God Help the Outcasts.” “God help the outcasts, hungry from birth. Show them the mercy they don’t find on earth ... I don’t know if there’s a reason why some are blessed, some not. Why the few you seem to favor, they fear us, flee us, try not to see us ... seeking an answer to why they were born.” So about 50 openly-gay men flitted (yes, we flit) into a few towns for just a moment. I know some people were changed (some of those changed were us). And that’s why we do it. Q

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QSaltLake is a trademark of salt lick publishing, llc. copyright © 2008 All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted or reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Copies of QSaltLake are distributed free of charge in 200 locations across Utah and in Idaho and Nevada. Free copies are limited to one per person. For additional copies, contact us at 801-649-6663. It is a crime to destroy, throw away current issues or otherwise interfere with the distribution of this newsmagazine. Publication of the name or photograph of any individual or organization in articles or advertising in QSaltLake is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons. Printed in the U.S.A. QSALTLAKE.COM MYSPACE.COM/QSALTLAKE

h t ur 5

l a u n An

y z a r C ’ O y a D

“Slam i

s an ann

ual elect

City W eekly

rifying th

rill.”

May 17 in the Jeanne Wagner Theatre @ the Rose. We spend 23 hours creating five 10-minute plays. Spend the 24th hour with us to see the results! Tickets @ 355.ARTS or planbtheatre.org

P.S. Bring Money To Buy Beer!

Q World

Quips & Quotes

by Rex Wockner

Foreman Leaves Task Force

National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Executive Director Matt Foreman quit his job April 15 and moved to San Francisco to head up the Gay & Lesbian Rights Program at the Evelyn and Walter Haas, Jr. Fund. The fund provides more grant support to gay and lesbian organizations than any other non-gay foundation in the U.S. Foreman was at the Task Force for five years and is credited with growing the staff to 54 full-timers and doubling the organization’s budget to $10 million. “I’m incredibly privileged to have had this job for the last five years, and to have been paid to be gay for the last 18,” Foreman said in an interview. “There are so many people who give their hearts and souls to our movement without any compensation or for ridiculously low salaries, and that certainly includes LGBT journalists. “I’m also overwhelmed with pride in our people,” he said. “One thing I hear a lot in my travels is: ‘There’s no such thing as a gay community.

Obama Grants Interview to ‘Advocate’

Under fire for not speaking with local and regional gay publications, presidential candidate Barack Obama sat down for an interview with Advocate.com on April 10. “The gay press may feel like I’m not giving them enough love. But basically, all press feels that way at all times,” Obama said. “Obviously, when you’ve got limited amount of time, you’ve got so many outlets. Sen. Barack Obama We tend not to do a whole bunch of specialized press. ... But I haven’t been silent on gay issues. What’s happened is, I speak oftentimes to gay issues to a public general audience.” Obama said he supports passage of a federal law protecting transgender people from discrimination but he’s not sure there’s support in Congress for the move. A bill outlawing job discrimination against gays, lesbians and bisexuals has passed the House of Representatives and is pending in the Senate. “I have been clear about my interest in including gender identity in legislation, but I’ve also been honest with the groups that I’ve met with that it is a heavy lift through Congress,” he said. “We’ve got some Democrats who are willing to vote for a non-in-

❝Love me for who I am — not

for who you think I should be. Stop the teaching that I have a problem that needs to be fixed. Stop using religion to excuse poor behavior.❞

—Former Mormon Steve Ellingson in an open letter (printed in the Salt Lake Tribune) to LDS President Thomas Monson, in response to Monson’s call for “disenfranchised” people to return to the church.

❝The last epidemic I heard

Former executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, Matt Foreman PHOTO: REX WOCKNER “No one’s on the same page. In a few years we’ll all be assimilated, etc., etc.’ I couldn’t disagree more. “Name me one community — or family, for that matter — where everyone agrees and everyone gets along. That’s not community, but banality. ... “No, there’s no monolithic gay community, but there are dozens and dozens of communities within our larger movement and

they’re accomplishing amazing things every day. There’s community everywhere I go — some purely social, others religious, others political, others professional. “While we do have a very, very long way to go, the fact we’ve made so much progress while being such a tiny minority and against such mighty opponents is, to me, proof positive that we do indeed have a vibrant people and community.”

clusive bill but we lose them on an inclusive bill, and we just may not be able to generate the votes.” Obama said he understands gay people’s frustration with candidates such as himself (and Hillary Clinton) who support civilunion laws but not marriage for same-sex couples. “I strongly respect the right of same-sex couples to insist that even if we got complete equality in benefits, it still wouldn’t be equal because there’s a stigma associated with not having the same word, marriage, assigned to it,” he said. “I understand that, but my perspective is also shaped by the broader political and historical context in which I’m operating.”

The porn magazines included in the sale to Regent Releasing L.L.C. are Men, Freshmen and Unzipped. A fourth SpecPub Inc. porn magazine, known as [2], has ceased publication, but the sale will include the trademark “[2],” PlanetOut Inc. CEO Karen Magee said via e-mail.

‘Advocate,’ ‘Out’ Sold

PlanetOut Inc. is selling The Advocate and Out magazines — as well as The Out Traveler, HIVPlus, three porn magazines and book publisher Alyson Publications — to an affiliate of the gay TV network here! for $6 million. The sale price is far less than the $31.1 million PlanetOut Inc. paid for the magazines and book company when it bought LPI Media Inc. and SpecPub Inc. in 2005. PlanetOut Inc. reported a loss of $51.2 million last year. The company will continue to own and operate Gay.com and PlanetOut.com. In January, PlanetOut Inc. “retained Allen & Company, LLC to assist the company in evaluating strategic alternatives, including a possible sale of the company,” a press release said. The corporation also announced in January “that it will no longer be providing quarterly or annual earnings guidance and will not hold quarterly earnings calls.”

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N.Y. Governor Supports Same-sex Marriage

New York Gov. David Patterson said April 7 that he supports legalization of same-sex marriage. Speaking by video link to the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force’s awards dinner in Manhattan, Patterson said: “We will push on and bring full marriage equality to New York state. And when we have done that, we’re going to do more. We’re goN.Y. Gov. David Patterson ing to protect young people from bullies. We’re going to protect against the discrimination of people in the transgender community, and we’re going to fight for decent and affordable health care for all citizens in this state.” “If you will join with me, and if we work hard enough, we can change the face of New York, which will be the catalyst to changing national policy,” he said. Patterson had planned to attend the dinner but was stuck in Albany dealing with budget problems.

of that could be attributed to some group was last summer’s cryptosporidium outbreak — was it caused the gays? No. It was caused by the kinds of irresponsible parents who believe that the entire world has been created for the benefit of their children. (They’re even talking about “swim diapers” now. How sick is that? I’d feel a hell of a lot safer in a gay swimming pool than one frequented by the American Fork PTA.)❞

—Salt Lake City Weekly copy editor and blogger Brandon Burt, criticizing the contention that gays spread disease during a March 31 meeting held by conservative LDS groups Standard of Liberty and Citizens for Families.

❝I’m not just fighting for

myself, I’m fighting for all of us. I’m fighting for all the GLBT community members who can’t.❞

—Utah resident Ariana Losco, who was fired from her job at Rocky Mountain Care in January after talking to a reporter about the anti-transgender discrimination she experienced on the job, to The Advocate.

❝I would never encourage

a battered wife or a sexually abused child to seek reconciliation with their abusers. This is how abusive bonds are kept intact. The LDS Church must repent and in humility seek forgiveness from us. Until they take responsibility for their abusive actions, we should seek nothing from them.❞

— QSaltLake columnist Troy Williams in a letter to the Salt Lake Tribune criticizing the forthcoming meeting between LDS officials and gay Mormon group Affirmation.

Tribute to Fallen Gay Priest Held in Wake of Pope’s Visit A tribute to Fire Chaplain Father Mychal Judge, the first declared victim of the Sep. 11 World Trade Center attack, was held the evening of April 19 — ahead of the pope’s visit to the site. Those in attendance urged Pope Benedict XVI to remember the openly-gay priest. “He had a heart as big as New York,” said friend Brendan Fay. “There was room for evFather Mychal Judge erybody. We wish that our church had room for everybody, and that was one of our prayers tonight, that our church would be welcom-

ing, especially those who feel excluded, especially gays and lesbians.” Friends described Judge as a beacon of light. “I pray for the late father, and all of his wonderful works, especially his whole life devoted to gay causes and devoted his whole life to God and the Catholic Church,” said Stanley Rygor, who also attended the vigil. Judge, the longtime chaplain to the fire department, was extremely active in the gay and lesbian community, which stood in stark contrast to the church’s strict teachings about homosexuality. He gave last rites to gays suffering from HIV/ AIDS, and held mass for a community that is not recognized by the Catholic Church. Father Judge spent most of his days at St. Francis of Assisi Church, just across the street from Engine 24, Ladder 1 in Midtown, where he often visited the firehouse and chatted with its members. His sister was among the 16 family members and first responders who met the Pope Sunday morning, April 20.

Hillary Talks to Gay Press

those kinds of actions and do everything we can, including using our leverage on matters such as aid, to change the behavior so we can try to prevent such atrocities from happening.”

Hillary Clinton told Philadelphia Gay News on April 3 that discrimination against same-sex couples in immigration law is “one of the biggest problems that we’ve got to contend with.” “Even states that have civil unions, domestic partnerships or even marriage laws are running into roadblocks with the federal government when it comes to federal benefits and privileges,” she said. “Of course, immigration is a federal responsibility and I am going to do everything I can to eliminate any disparities in any benefits or rights under our law at the federal level so that all people will have available to them every right as an American citizen that they should, and that would include immigration law.” On same-sex marriage, Clinton told the paper: “[M]arriage is in the province of the state[s], which has actually turned out to be lucky for us, because we didn’t have to get beaten on the Federal Marriage Amendment because we could make, among other arguments, that it was such a stretch for the federal government and it was wrong to enshrine discrimination in the Constitution. And that states are really beginning seriously to deal with the whole range of options, including marriage, both under their own state constitutions and under the legislative approach. “I anticipate that there will be a very concerted amount of effort in the next couple of years that will move this important issue forward and different states will take different approaches as they did with marriage over many years and you will see an evolution over time.” Clinton also said that if elected, she would attempt to punish nations that harshly oppress gay people, such as Iran, Iraq and Egypt, among others. “I would be very strongly outspoken about this and it would be part of American foreign policy,” she said. “There are a number of gross human-rights abuses that countries engage in with whom we have relations and we have to be really vigilant and outspoken in our total repudiation of

Tutu Addresses Gay Group in San Francisco In his first speech before a large U.S. gay group, South African Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu addressed the annual awards ceremony of the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco on April 8. “How sad it is that the church should be so obsessed with this particular issue of human sexuality when God’s children are facing massive problems — poverty, disease, corruption, conflict,” Tutu said. About 500 people attended the gala, where Tutu was presented with IGLHRC’s “Outspoken” award recognizing his decades of vocal support for GLBT rights and equality. IGLHRC Executive Director Paula Ettelbrick called Tutu “a moral luminary whose inclusive approach to human rights advocacy paves the way for a better world.”

Detroit, Kansas City Pass Transgender Protections

The city councils of Detroit and Kansas City passed laws banning discrimination against transgender people in early April. The vote in Detroit was 8-1 and in Kansas City it was unanimous. “Detroit and Kansas City are just the latest among a growing number of municipalities that have acted to put an end to this pervasive discrimination, and we hope these victories will lay the foundation for statewide protections in Michigan and Missouri,” said Rea Carey, deputy executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. Thirteen states, the District of Columbia and 105 cities and counties ban discrimination against transgender people.

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Community Briefs

by Rex Wockner

Day of Silence, Night of Noise

Salt Lake City’s First ... Mutually Committeds

The Utah Pride Center’s Youth Activity Center will host Day of Silence, Night of Noise in honor of the Day of Silence. Sponsored by the Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network, this annual event encourages students to remain silent throughout the school day to draw attention to discrimination, harassment and abuse directed against gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer/ questioning students. The Night of Noise will run from 6:00-9:00 p.m. at the Center (355 N 300 W). Here Utah students who participated in the day will discuss their experiences, as well as their thoughts about anti-gay prejudice in Utah’s schools. The event will also include a barbecue. When: April 25 Where: The Utah Pride Center Info: utahpridecenter.org, 539-8800

by Michael Aaron

The first couple ... of only five so far as of this writing ... to register their relationship with Salt Lake City’s Mutual Commitment Registry is Brandie Balken and Lisa LeDuc. The openlylesbian couple entered the Salt Lake City Recorder’s office amid a throng of news media. “It’s not every day you get to be a gay celebrity,” Balken said as the couple entered at about 8:20 a.m. April 17, the first day the registry was made available. Balken exclaimed, “fantastic,” when acting city recorder Chris Meeker told the couple they were the first on the registry. To receive the certificates declaring their relationship, the couple were required by the city to provide three forms proving mutual dependence, sign a statement that they are “in a relationship of mutual support, caring,

A binder showing the first five couples registered with the Salt Lake City Mutual Commitment Registry sits on the reception desk of the Salt Lake City Recorder’s office. and commitment, and are responsible for each other’s welfare,” and prove they share a Salt Lake City residence. Balken and LeDuc have been together for seven years, sharing a home in the Sugar House neighborhood. They said the $25 fee for the certificate was tremendously less expensive than the $2,500 it cost to go through a lawyer to draw legal documents concerning their estate. Balken is a native Utahn who has spent the last 15 years as an activist for many causes including Food Not Bombs, Seeds of Peace, The Western Shoshone Defense Project, The Nat’l Center for Lesbian Rights, Equality Utah, and sWerve. She is also a radio host on KRCL and a former columnist with Salt Lake Metro, which is now QSaltLake. LeDuc is a licensed massage therapist who has worked with the Salt Lake Trappers, University of Utah football team, Women’s basketball teams and the athletes on the 2002 Olympic and Paralympics teams. The registry was proposed by Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker as one of his first items of business as he entered the office in January. It quickly came under fire by the Republican-dominate legislature. Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan, drafted a bill to kill

the registry, but it failed after Buttars came under scrutiny for comments made on the floor of the senate that many took as racist. Sen. Greg Bell, R-Fruit Heights, drafted a “kinder, gentler” bill, seeking input from city officials. The bill’s main effect was a requirement to not include the term “Domestic Partner” in the registry’s name. From the city’s Web site, requirements to receiving a certificate include: 1. A statement that the individuals are in a relationship of mutual support, caring, and commitment, and are responsible for each other’s welfare. 2. Registrants must be each other’s sole domestic partner; be over 18 years old, be competent to contract, and share a primary

residence in Salt Lake City . 3. Applicants will be required to provide any three of the following five documents: a. A joint loan obligation, mortgage, lease, or joint ownership of a vehicle b. A life insurance policy, retirement benefits account, or will designating the domestic partner as beneficiary thereto, or will of the partner which designates the other as executor. c. A mutually granted power of attorney for purposes of healthcare or financial management d. Proof showing that the partner is authorized to sign for purposes of the other’s bank or credit account. e. Proof of a joint bank or credit account.

SUU Students, Administration Meet about Transgender Housing Eighteen students from Southern Utah University’s PRIDE Club and other multicultural clubs met with school officials on April 8 to discuss transgender equality on campus. The issue made headlines in December, 2007 when housing officials refused to grant Kourt Osborn, a female to male transgender student, because Osborn has not had gender reassignment surgery. In late February, SUU administrators said that they are considerKourt Osborne ing a number of ways to address the situation of housing and safety for transgender students, including the adoption of a gender-neutral housing policy, the designation of unisex bathrooms, a rethinking of how to phrase questions about gender on official SUU forms. “We, in some ways, are exploring uncharted territories,” Donna Eddleman, Vice President of Student Affairs, told campus newspaper SUU Journal at the time. “Because of that, and because in some ways, the

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university could be precedent-setting, as we make decisions and change policies, I think we should proceed somewhat slowly and cautiously to make sure that we look at all possibilities and alternatives and, quite frankly, all the needs we have to address.” Ashlie Meredith, PRIDE Club president, said she felt positive about the meeting. “Donna has done her research,” she said, noting that Eddleman had successfully fought to get sexual orientation on the nondiscrimination policy at another university. “She knows the issues, is passionate about them, and has already planned some goals to be met by the end of the summer.” These goals, said Meredith, include designating all single-stall locking bathrooms as “gender-free,” including gender neutral bathrooms in the lobbies of the school’s new residence halls, and changing the housing application to have students list their gender instead of checking male or female. Additionally, Meredith said the possibility of housing all transgender students together (and without “a specific designation to out them”) came up during the meeting. Meredith said Eddleman will meet with students again in the fall to discuss her progress on getting these measures in place.

Queer Prom ’08: The Origin of Love Once again, the Utah Pride Center will sponsor a prom for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, questioning and allied youth age 14-20. Named after a song from the hit rock musical Hedwig and the Angry Inch, this year’s prom promises great dancing, great music and fun. Tickets are $5 in advance and $10 at the door. When: April 26 Where: Salt Lake Public Library, 210 E 400 S Info: utahpridecenter.org, 539-8800

A Passion for Fashion Spring has sprung, and this favorite seasonal event is bigger and more colorful than ever before. Running from 4:00-10:00 p.m., SLC Fashion Stroll allows local designers, jewelry makers and artists to showcase their work along Salt Lake City’s hip East Broadway district. This season’s event will feature more than 50 booths by local artisans, runway shows, live DJ and music (provided by SLUG Magazine), a graffiti mural project and more. When: April 25 Where: East Broadway (250 E 300 S) Info: myspace.com/eastbroadwayslc

‘Sordid Lives’ to Benefit Center Before it was a quirky, dark comedy staring Delta Burke and Olivia NewtonJohn, Sordid Lives was a quirky, darkly funny stage play. The off-beat and provocative theatre company Pygmalion Productions will present a special matinee to benefit the Utah Pride Center. In keeping with the play’s subject matter – the travails of a dysfunctional ‘white trash’ family in the South – a beer ’n dawgs reception will follow. The play runs through May 10. When: April 27, 2:00 p.m. Where: Leona Wagner Black Box Theatre (138 West 300 South) Info: pygmalionproductions.org

Gay LDS Leaders Cautious, but Hopeful, About Church Meeting calling if that’s what leaders feel, but let them come [to church].” As headlines around the state — and The church, which considers gay sex to around the world — have reported, the be sinful, has excommunicated some sexunew president of the Church of Jesus ally active gays and lesbians in the past. Christ of Latter-day Saints has instructed Although Thomas and Jennings are members of his staff to meet with leadeager to talk with church officials, Thomas ers of gay Mormon group Affirmation in says not all Affirmation members feel the order to “appropriately understand” the organization’s points of view about gays in the church. Leaders of Affirmation say they are cautiously hopeful about their forthcoming meeting with Fred M. Riley, commissioner of Family Services for the church and Riley’s predecessor Harold C. Brown. Earlier this month, President Thomas Monson instructed both men to meet with Affirmation representatives. Affirmation leaders Dave Melson, James Morris and Olin Thomas “It may be nothing same — particularly those who have left more than a public relations gesture, or it the church and want nothing more to do might be the start of something serious, with it. These members, Thomas said, see so we want to come prepared,” said Olin Thomas, Affirmation’s Executive Director. speaking with officials as an attempt to ask for a prophetic revelation that “it’s OK to “This is not just a casual meeting.” be gay and in the church,” which Thomas Duane Jennings, one of the co-chairs of Utah’s Affirmation chapter, agreed, calling added isn’t the point of this meeting. “Whether the church accepts us or the meeting a “welcome event.” doesn’t is immaterial to them,” Thomas “I know that over the course of Affirmasaid. And while he understands this point tion’s history there have been on-and-off of view, he said the meeting is important attempts to dialogue with church leaders,” for gay church members who are still in he said, referring to the group’s repeated the church and don’t want to leave. attempts to meet with church leaders “We want to make them aware of the since its formation in 1977. harm and hurt in families when a child feels Jennings said he has urged the national they have to hide stuff about themselves or leadership to address a number of points leave their church and their family even, with Riley and Brown, including what the because they can’t be accepted,” he said. church can do to stop gay suicides and Thomas said the two sides picked Aug. “the problems with addiction so many gay 8 because Affirmation leaders will be in people have because they feel they’ve been town for the annual Sunstone Symposium, rejected.” He said he also hopes to discuss a conference devoted to progressive LDS the idea of allowing gay and lesbian BYU issues which frequently includes panels students date — as long as they abstain and papers about gay Latter-day Saints. from sex, as straight students at the school Jennings said he hopes to include at are also required to do. least two local members in Affirmation’s “I think the main point should be contingent, and also hopes that the delegato leave monogamous gay and lesbian tion will include male, female and intersex couples alone and not ... excommunicate people. Q them,” said Jennings. “Don’t give them a by JoSelle Vanderhooft

Let’s Get Physical

Hooray For Hollywood

Come join black belt and martial arts master Sabina Wise for Wise Fitness, a fitness program geared towards gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals. The program includes cardio sport kickboxing, slow stretch yoga and karate and cost $5 per class through monthly auto pay or coupon book or $10 for drop in students. The first class is free. Where: Utah Pride Center When: Every Friday, 6:00-9:00 p.m. Info: 232-1728

Tickets to the Salt Lake Men’s Choir’s final concert in their 25 anniversary season are now on sale at KingTix.com. The concert is a tribute to the music of Hollywood and promises to be full of camp, drama and glam-o-rama. Former members are requested to contact them if you can attend. They would like to do a final number with as many people from the choir’s 25 years as possible. Call Wesley at 884-8303. Where: Libby Gardner Hall, University of Utah President’s Circle When: Saturday, June 21, 7:30 p.m. Info: SaltLakeMensChoir.org, kingtix.com

Pride Early Birds Exhibitors, vendors and parade entries have until April 30 to turn in their applications for the Utah Pride Festival to receive the early bird discount. Info: utahpride.org

a pril 2 4 , 20 0 8 | issue 101 | QSa lt L a k e | 9

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Libertarians Nominate â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;SuperDellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Schanze for Governor Utahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Libertarian caucus drew about 20 party members to the Sandy City Library on Saturday, April 19. As with any party convention, business focused on nominating local candidates for the 2008 election and delegates for this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s national convention to be held in Denver. Business progressed smoothly until it came time to nominate a Libertarian candidate for governor, at which point one of Utahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most notorious celebrities took the floor. Former Totally Awesome Computers owner Dell â&#x20AC;&#x153;SuperDellâ&#x20AC;? Schanze, whose purposely obnoxious TV commercials made him a household name in the past two decades, formally announced his candidacy for the office. Among his promises if elected: limits to â&#x20AC;&#x153;huge, gigantic government spending,â&#x20AC;? protections for personal freedoms, protections for gun owners who are falsely accused of brandishing their weapons and promise not to â&#x20AC;&#x153;cowtoddle to the media.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m the guy whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s going to vote and do what I say I will,â&#x20AC;? said Schanze, adding that he thinks he has a chance to defeat Republican Gov. Jon Huntsman, Jr. or at least â&#x20AC;&#x153;get some notoriety for our party.â&#x20AC;? Schanzeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s notoriety, however, was exactly the reason why two Libertarians said their party should literally vote for nobody before picking Schanze. The partyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s constitution currently allows members to pick none of the above, or NOTA, for any political position. Former Libertarian Party chair Jim Dexter said Schanzeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nomination would be â&#x20AC;&#x153;a disaster for our image as a serious political party.â&#x20AC;? Dexterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reasons for saying so: Schanzeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s illegal â&#x20AC;&#x153;buzzingâ&#x20AC;? of Utah highways (and most recently a tour boat) in his paraglider and a 2006 charge of brandishing a firearm at Draper residents who confronted him for speeding through their neighborhood. Schanze was later acquitted of the charge but convicted for giving a false statement that he was reaching for a cell phone, not a Glock. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It will be far better to have no candidate than this loon seeking office,â&#x20AC;? said Dexter, who reportedly rejoined the party for the sole purpose of opposing Schanzeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bid. Dexter was joined in his opposition by Willy Starr Marshall. The former Big Water, Utah, mayor said that Schanze had no business running for office because of his bigotry towards gays, non-Mormons and minorities. Marshall referred to former TAC employeesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; allegations that Schanze had fired them or cut their salaries because they were not Christian, or because they were not white. He also referred, in passing, to an unaired radio commercial in which Schanze referred to gays as â&#x20AC;&#x153;faggotsâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;tinker bellsâ&#x20AC;? in need of â&#x20AC;&#x153;psychological evaluations,â&#x20AC;? and offered them $100 off purchases for his â&#x20AC;&#x153;being rude and abusive to homosexuals.â&#x20AC;? The Salt Lake City Weekly reported on the commercial in 2005 after receiving it in the mail on an unmarked CD. At the time, Schanze denied making the radio spot and called it the work of a talented impersonator, or someone splicing together clips of his voice. Marshall said that he defends Schanzeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s right to free speech and even his right to

fire employees for any reason. â&#x20AC;&#x153;You have a constitutional right to be a jerk, but that doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mean you can be a jerk and run for office,â&#x20AC;? said Marshall, adding that Schanze, and not Libertarian concerns for lower taxes and personal freedoms, would become the campaign issue. In his rebuttal, Schanze said he had not discriminated against his employees and that he had no problems with gay people and would not approve laws to hurt them if elected. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nothing wrong with having homosexual fantasies or tendencies,â&#x20AC;? he said, adding, however, that homosexuality is a â&#x20AC;&#x153;weakness.â&#x20AC;? He also said that he had taken responsibility for his past brushes with the law, including the charge of speeding. A number of Libertarians spoke in Schanzeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s defense including lawyer Andrew McCullough, who will make another bid for attorney general this year. McCullough said Schanzeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s notoriety would actually benefit the Libertarian party. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dell Schanze will get us on the front page of the Salt Lake Tribune, and if he has his finger in his nose, that wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t effect his ability to be governor,â&#x20AC;? he said, referring to Schanzeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s recent commercial for title loan company Money Train, in which Schanze picks his nose. When time for the vote came, Schanze attained his candidacy on a 10-to-9 vote. Dexter then attempted to get the vote overturned based on an article in the party constitution that says a candidate must have a two-thirds vote to win a nomination. Libertarian Party chair Rob Latham ruled that the article referred to a race involving three or more candidates, not Schanzeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s run-off against NOTA. Schanze then named attorney Joe Hobbs as his choice for lieutenant governor. Q

10 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 101 | a pril 2 4 , 20 0 8

Utah Pride Festival Announces Headliner Ndegeocello

The Utah Pride Center has announced that bisexual singer, songwriter, rapper and bassist Meshell Ndegeocello will headline this June’s Utah Pride Festival, to be held at Library and Washington Squares June 6–8. Familiar to Utah audiences from her participation in the Gallivan Center’s 2006 Twilight Concert Series, Ndegeocello (pronounced n-ded-GAY-o-chel-o) is an innovator in the worlds of rock, jazz, funk and soul. Born Michelle Lynn Johnson in Berlin, Germany, Ndegeocello began her career in the 1980s playing in bands such as Prophecy and Rare Essence and sang background vocals for “I’d Rather Be Your Lover” on Madonna’s 1995 album Bedtime Stories. She also became the first artist to sign with Madonna’s Maverick Records label with her album Plantation Lullabies. Released in 1993 when Ndegeocello was 25, Plantation Lullabies rose to #166 on the Billboard Top 200 List the next year. Since then she has released seven albums, including 2007’s The World Has Made Me the Man of My Dreams, a hybrid of orchestral soundscapes, funk and punk rock. Although she is best known for perform-

ing a cover of Van Morrison’s “Wild Night” with John Cougar Mellencamp Ndegeocello (whose last name means “free like a bird”) has received nine Grammy nominations for her music, her most recent being a nod for the song “Fantasy” from the compilation album Interpretations: Celebrating the Music of Earth, Wind & Fire. Known for her androgynous voice and appearance, Ndegeocello has also sung about gay topics, most notably in the Dance Top 20 hit “Leviticus: Faggot.” Currently, Ndegeocello is performing at Billboard Live in Tokyo. Tickets for her performance will be available online at utahpride.org starting April 23.

Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations President Rev. WIlliam Sinkford

25 Years of South Valley Unitarian South Valley Unitarian Universalist Society is celebrating its 25th anniversary with a weekend of activities. The group has invited the Reverend Bill Sinkford, president of the Unitarian Universalist Association of Congragations, along with former ministers, members and friends over the church’s history. Singer-songwriter and activist Judy Fjell will perform during a music and desserts program on Friday night, May 9 at 7:00 p.m. Fjell has written and recorded over 100 songs on 15 CDs under her own label, Honey Pie Music. She has toured extensively with the folk and women’s circuits and at NOW conferences, gay pride events, cowboy poetry gatherings and in coffeehouses. Lately, she spends more time on her new path as musical lay ministry for Unitarian-Universalist congregations.

A $5 donation will be requested at the door. A wine and cheese social will take place on Saturday, May 10 at 6:00 p.m. A special celebration service will take place Sunday, May 11 10:30 a.m. SVUUS has roots deep in religious liberalism and explores what they call the “big questions,” encouraging members in their spiritual journeys. Their programs and events support people as they grow in curiosity, spirit, and community. They believe each person has a unique gift to offer the world and seeks to nurture and celebrate those gifts. They welcome young and old, families and singles, all the colors and cultures of the human race, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and straight people. All events will take place at the SVUUS Church, 687s Highland Dr. More info can be found at svuus.org or by calling 801-944-9723.

a pril 2 4 , 20 0 8 | issue 101 | QSa lt L a k e | 11

Q Views Letters Happy 100th Editor, Congratulations on 100 issues of QSaltLake. I remember issue number one and most every issue inbetween. You are a great asset to our community and I hope you stay around another 1000 issues.

John Gerber Bountiful

Sincere or Not at All Editor, Here’s to the hope that LDS Church leaders will actually take the time and sincerely listen to Affirmation leaders at their scheduled meeting. [“LDS Church Will Meet with Affirmation Leaders,” April 10, 2008.] A meeting more than a dozen years in the making comes with high expectations. I fear, however, that the meeting is window dressing to appease public opinion. It would be better to not meet at all if that is, indeed, the case.

Wendell Jacobson Salt Lake City

Audacity Editor, The audacity of the likes of Standard of Liberty. [“American Fork ‘Parents Meeting’ Gives One-Sided Anti-Gay View,” April 10, 2008.] They spew their pious venom at our community, then look down their nose at us because we are at greater risk for suicide, substance abuse and risky behavior. How can they not see themselves as the cause of these ills?

Stacey Greener Sandy

Day of Silence

To m 12 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 101 | a pril 2 4 , 20 08

and college campuses nationwide. The united silence of students will poignantly illuminate the lack of caring and justice that is represented by unpunished crimes. GLBT, allies and informed citizens alike are joining forces to end the discrimination and ignorance. It is important that all of us participate. In a part of the country that is well-known for its lack of warmth toward the GLBT community, it is especially important to show that as good human beings we can be tolerant, maybe even accepting, of others’ differences and stand up to those who act hatefully. While we have made steps toward being a friendlier place for the GLBT community, we too have had our stumbles. To show that we will not tolerate hate and discrimination we need to join together on this day in silence. To deny this movement and ignore or mock the silence is to condone hate and the allowance of it. Even if you can’t be silent the whole day, try. Even if you can’t manage any silence, support those who can.

Michaela Graham

QSaltLake Welcomes Letters from Our Readers Love a story written in this issue? Hate one? Did a columnist piss you off or tickle your funny bone? Want to say something to the world? Send a letter to the editor — we love feedback! Please keep your letter under 300 words and email it to letters@qsaltlake.com.

Salt Lake City

You letter, if published, may possibly be edited for length, suitability or libel. No one wants to go to court.

Phillips Gallery 444 East 200 South S a l t L a k e C i t y, U T www.phillips-gallery.com

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H o w a r d

Editor, The National Day of Silence is a day aimed at ending the discrimination faced by the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community. Even if you don’t consider yourself an ally of the GLBT community, this is an opportunity to do your part to end discrimination. The idea behind Day of Silence is to echo (ironic, isn’t it?) the silence the GLBT com-

munity faces. In one way this silence is that of their daily lives. In a world that is making steps toward tolerance and eventually toward acceptance, many still live in fear of being who they truly are. These individuals assume a mask of societal norms and are silent about who they really are, whom they love and sometimes even what gender they really are. If that is not enough, when the GLBT community experiences hate crimes or discrimination they are often met with silence from those in power who can do something about it. This salt in the wound is unsupportable, even if you don’t agree with the way the GLBT community lives. It is not right for anyone to be deprived of rights, hurt emotionally or physically, tortured or even killed. The fact that this happens already mars humanity’s record, but the fact that these hateful acts are being met with silence is unsupportable. No one’s pain or even death should be left unpunished. Even if society is not exactly a GLBT haven, the members of the community are people, too. Day of Silence is observed on high school

Q on the Street

❝I’m a cat

person for sure, my kitten, Billy, is a neighborhood celebrity. He’s loving and loyal and has the funniest personality. ❞ —Natasha

❝I’m a cat

person ... All the way. They are easy to care for and don’t demand a lot of attention ... I have two I love very much!! ❞ —Jessy

❝Both! My

cat rules the place. The dogs do anything for him. They follow him around and keep other neighboring dogs away when he is outside. And in return he knocks the bread off the counter so they get extra snacks.❞ —Jordan

❝Neither. My

“social life” is too busy to take care of a dog, better yet a cat. I simply don’t have time!❞ —Robert

Queer Gnosis Amy Goodman: Standing Up to the Madness

We asked: Since this is our pet issue ... Are you a cat person, dog person, neither, both and why? person, mostly. I love how intuitive they are and the fact that they generally attach themselves to one person. Black cats with blue eyes are the most beautiful animal.❞ —Justan

By Troy Williams

Goodman is the host of Democracy Now!, a national, daily, independent, award-winning news program that airs nightly on KRCL. Amy is a populist journalist, reporting from the perspective of people silenced by the mainstream media. She has been an outspoken critic of the Bush Administration and a staunch defender of human rights around the globe. She and her brother David Goodman have co-authored the newly-released book Standing Up to the Madness: Ordinary Heroes in Extraordinary Times. The book chronicles everyday people — scientists, librarians, high school students and community organizers — who have courageously taken stands against the Bush Administration, the Patriot Act, war, racial injustice and other pressing problems. It’s an inspiring book that reminds every reader of what is right about the world: Ordinary people standing up for social justice even when it’s unpopular to do so. I spoke with Amy and David prior to their Salt Lake City visit. my

Troy Williams: People often ask me, “How did Amy Goodman, become Amy Goodman?” So let’s go back in time a bit and talk about those forces that shaped both of you. Talk about the influences that shaped your passion for social justice and peace-activism. David Goodman: The path leads directly to our great parents. Activism was not something separate from family life. It was a very normal thing to debate issues around the table, on holidays at throughout the week. Our parents were both very active in the community and on national issues. Our dad was a co-founder for Physicians for Social Responsibility where we grew up in New York. Our mom was also always active in peace work. I never had a sense that becoming active, speaking up or thinking about these issues critically was anything that everybody wasn’t doing or shouldn’t be doing. In many ways, what we do today is just a continuation of those debates and disagreements. In the extended family there was a socialist uncle and a very conservative uncle — and we would see those two go at it. That was part of family life. And that debate and critical thinking was the real gifts that we took away from that household. Amy Goodman: And there was a forum for the debate between the uncles, grandparents and grandchildren. And that was provided by the guy you are speaking to right now — David. He ran Dave’s Press. I think he was like 8 or 9 years old. It was in our house. You saw all the signs leading upstairs to his room. There was an old Xerox machine that he would labor over — the kind that you had to press down. He would engrave the image on another peace of paper. It was basically the extended family log. He also wrote editorials

on the war — in that case it was Vietnam. The letters to the editor page was the page where everyone duked it out. TW: Talk about interacting with your more conservative relatives. How were you able to bridge those ideological differences? DG: You are assuming they were bridged! They were the fuel for many family gatherings. AG: Also it’s what made it interesting. I think

It’s an inspiring book that reminds every reader of what is right about the world: Ordinary people standing up for social justice even when it’s unpopular to do so.

It’s amazing and inspiring to see what these people did. TW: Talk about The White Rose and their significance today.

it was our common respect. We learned that sitting around the dinner table, we could duke it out peacefully in a civilized way and also love each other. That is the important thing. I really see the media as a huge kitchen table that we all sit around, whatever our views, and debate and discuss the most important issues of the day like war and peace, life and death. Standing Up to the Madness is really that writ large. It is finding those people all over the country, of which there are so many more, who simply stood up in an adverse situation, and not even realizing what they were about to do, sometimes just falling into it. Like James Hansen, the NASA scientist who found himself being silenced by the Bush Administration. The top heads of the White House Council on Environmental Quality are coming right out of the oil industry, deciding what reports get out there. Scientists are now challenging the Administration’s clamp down on words like “global warming.” Now you have scientists all over the country who are saying no, when you have the future of the earth at stake we’re not going to take this anymore.

DG: The White Rose was a resistance movement in Nazi Germany that consisted of students and a professor who was their faculty advisor. They Nazis were controlling the media and controlling all forms of dissent and public communication. The White Rose began mimeographing a series of leaflets that were smuggled around the country and distributed in major cities. They would simply type up what they saw actually going on — and what they thought Hitler and the Nazis were actually up to. And this was at the time when stories of concentration camps were just rumored because the media was controlled completely. One of their most famous leaflets ended with the words, “We will not be silent. We are your guilty conscience.” The leaders of the White Rose were caught — Sister Hans and Sophie Scholl. They were tried in a kangaroo court called The People’s Court and executed and beheaded the same day the sentence was handed down. They have gone on in history to become some of the most admired and revered Germans. Many streets and plazas are named after them. We think this is a great way to start our book, and to reach back in history to draw on some of the lessons of the great acts of civil disobedience of modern times. The message and the need for it live on. Q

Beginning May 5th, Democracy Now! will air at 7:00 p.m. following RadioActive on KRCL 90.9 FM. Stream the entire interview at queergnosis.com.

a pril 2 4 , 20 0 8 | issue 101 | QSa lt L a k e | 13

We share a kinship with animals. Not only because we eat them...

Gay Geeks Not About Watchmen by JoSelle Vanderhooft

ell, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s our pet issue, and after

seeing all those cute cats and dogs over at Yuppie Puppie (and helping them type up their biographies), how could I possibly write a profanity-laced column about why the very idea of a Watchmen movie keeps me up late at night screaming â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and not in a happy fangirly way? How can I, when Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m busy hugging my kitty (a former stray himself) and checking icanhascheezeburger.com every hour to see if theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve posted new cat macros? Those pets at Yuppie Puppie are wonderful, geeky ones, and they really deserve to find good, loving homes. Hopefully with you. See, I have this hypothesis. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve heard it said that a lot of gay folks have pets instead of kids, and treat them accordingly? I think the same is often true of geeks â&#x20AC;&#x201C; at least the treating accordingly part. I mean, most of the time when Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m staying with a geeky friend instead of crashing at a con hotel, the first thing I hear is not, â&#x20AC;&#x153;No, we canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stay up all night playing letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s scream about the Watchmen movie â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and not in

a happy fannish way. We might wake the baby!â&#x20AC;? but â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got cats/dogs/geckos/goldfish/pythons/sugar gliders/a preserve for endangered tigers in the back yard. Knowing that, are you OK staying here?â&#x20AC;? Well, not the part about the tiger preserve, but you get the idea. In my experience, geeks love our pets a lot and quite often have a lot of pets. And itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not like we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have any encouragement. Just take a look at the things we like to watch, read and play. Or better yet, take a look at where the things we like to watch, read and play came from â&#x20AC;&#x201C; at least when it comes to fantasy. In the fairytales, folktales and myths that form the basis for what we know as modern fantasy weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got the likes of the three little pigs, the Bremen town musicians, the fox confessors of Russian folklore and pretty much the entire cast of Aesopâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fables â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just a sliver of European folk history, but you get the idea. In the days before fantasy as we know it today people told stories where animals serve as allegories Case in point: whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the moral of The â&#x20AC;&#x153;Tortoise and

listen to your friends.

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the Hare?â&#x20AC;? Slow and steady wins the race. The lesson of â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Cat and Mouse in Partnership?â&#x20AC;? Be careful when choosing a business partner. The point of â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Three Little Pigs?â&#x20AC;? Do-it-yourself house building truly is for dummies. Hell, even the earliest cave paintings at Lascaux, France told a story about humans and animals, even if it was as simple as â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hey, Ugg. The bull I caught was thiiiiiiis big. But it got away!â&#x20AC;? Then, of course, there are the stories where people turn into animals (and sometimes animals who turn into people), like â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Seven Swans,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Beauty and the Beast,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hans the Hedgehogâ&#x20AC;? and of course â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Frog Prince.â&#x20AC;? And hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s where things get even more interesting for me. Instead of serving merely serving as an allegory for our behavior, the animals in these tales are us â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and conversely, we are the animals. Even though a lot of these tales end with the transformation reversed and the lost brothers, the beast and the enchanted princes living happily ever after, nothing can erase the time they spent wearing a hedgehogâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pelt or a frogâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s slippery skin. So how does this have anything to do with geeks and our pets? My thesis here is simple. Stories like these indicate something primal, something basic about humanity that our collective subconscious has always known: We share a kinship with animals. Not only because we eat them, wear their pelts or use them to plough our fields or warm our laps, but because weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re animals ourselves. Geeks tend to realize this whether or not weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re interested in folklore because folklore permeates the culture we love. And I think our exposure to these ideas make us, generally speaking, more open to inviting animals into our lives to be our cherished companions. Or, you know, I could just be talking out of my ass here, and it could just be that geeks find pets to be really cool. I mean, you can take pictures of them and photoshop in stupid text like â&#x20AC;&#x153;Invisible bike!â&#x20AC;? or â&#x20AC;&#x153;Do not want!â&#x20AC;? or â&#x20AC;&#x153;Longcat is loooooooongâ&#x20AC;? without them threatening to kill you if you post it on the internet. You can get away with naming them â&#x20AC;&#x153;Snapeâ&#x20AC;? or â&#x20AC;&#x153;Frodoâ&#x20AC;? without worrying that theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be teased on the playground. They wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t bitch about pathetic you are if you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like the new Dr. Who or how embarrassing it is that youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve memorized parts of Barbarella. And if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a bit geeky, a bit awkward, your breath stinks or you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stop screaming about the Watchmen movie and not in a happy fangirly way? No problem. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll love you, anyway. Seriously, folks. Think about adopting some of these wonderful animals. Your lives will be better for it, and so will theirs. Fantasy writer, folklorist and artist Terri Windlingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wonderful Article â&#x20AC;&#x153;Married to Magic: Animal Brides and Bridegrooms in Folklore and Fantasyâ&#x20AC;? inspired parts of this issueâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s column. You can read it at endicottstudio.com.â&#x20AC;&#x201A; Q

Snaps & Slaps SNAPS: LDS Church Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints President Thomas Monson gets a snap for agreeing to meet with representatives of gay LDS group Affirmation to discuss the churchâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s abuses of gay and transgender people, including the churchâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s past promotion of electroshock therapy. The LDS Church has to own up to a lot of evil when it comes to their treatment of gays â&#x20AC;&#x201C; heartbreak, guilt, broken families, suicides. And ignoring Affirmationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s attempts to talk for three decades doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t make them good guys, here (you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get a cookie for acknowledging people youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve hurt). But dialogue has to start somewhere, and maybe this meeting is an inch in the right direction. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t make us have to slap you later, LDS church.

SLAPS: Utah Libertarians Really, you guys? Former Totally Awesome Computers owner â&#x20AC;&#x153;Superdellâ&#x20AC;? Dell Schanze is your candidate for governor? The same guy who illegally buzzes highways and boats with his paraglider. The same guy who recklessly sped through a neighborhood with his little girl in the car. The same guy who says Utah journalists are on the Devilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s payroll. Oh, and letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not forget the same guy who supposedly went on a two minute anti-gay rant in a recording studio back in 2005 (Superdell denies it, but we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t buy his impersonator story). Former Big Water mayor Willy Star Marshall said it best: â&#x20AC;&#x153;You have a constitutional right to be a jerk but that doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mean you can be a jerk and run for office.â&#x20AC;? Next time, just vote for nobody, OK? SNAPS: Utah Pride Center You may remember Standard of Libertyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s little meeting on March 31 where they compared gays to pedophiles and homosexuality to drug use? Well, the staff of the Utah Pride Center countered with their own meeting on April 9. Here they educated people about what it really means to be gay (hint: not necessarily mentally ill or pedophilic) and how to lower the rates of queer youth suicide and drug use (hint: pretty much ignore everything the Standard of Liberty says, ever). The kicker? They also held it in the same building: the American Fork Public Library. Ohhh, snap! Submit your snaps and slaps to editor@qsaltlake.com!

David Samsel What I’ll Miss by David Samsel

ith my impending graduation

and relocation I’ve been thinking a lot about Utah and the things that I’ll miss the most once I’m gone. The main things being: work, school, the terrain and the people. The Dodo Restaurant When I was a little boy I used to think that it would be fun to be a waiter. A year and a half ago I was getting sick of my job and looking for a change. I had a friend who worked at the Dodo Restaurant downtown at the Gateway who suggested that I come work with her. I did. Now, I’ll tell you that a year of waiting tables is probably enough. The thrill is gone. But I’ve stuck with it for two reasons. 1) Because I didn’t want to bother trying to find a new job so soon before graduating and relocating, and 2) because I really love the people I work with. One of the things I’ve become aware of while working at a restaurant that’s been locally owned and operated for the last 25 years is that Utahns love their national chains. Don’t get me wrong, the Olive Garden has it’s place in our economy, but I think it’s important to support locally owned and operated businesses. I should probably say that neither the owners nor the management of the Dodo Restaurant know that I’m writing this. But I value business owners who value and support our community. And the owners of the Dodo certainly do that. The management and staff are an eclectic and accepting group of people. In fact, they’re some of the best people I’ve ever met. Apart from the Dodo at the Gateway, a new location will be opening May 1st in Sugar House on about 1400 East and 2100 South across from Sugar House Park. The food at the Dodo is good, especially the Baked Cream Cheese appetizer, but it is the desserts that truly set the Dodo’s menu apart. My personal favorites are the Chocolate Coffee Toffee Tort, the Banana Cream Cheese Pie drizzled with caramel, and the most popular dessert on the menu, the Tollhouse Pie. But really, you can’t go wrong. (Alright, so I’ve always been really honest in this column, so I’ll tell you that the Lemon Chess

Tart is just a glorified lemon bar and the Hazelnut Raspberry Tart has never really thrilled me. It’s not that they taste bad, I just need more “wow” with my after dinner cup of coffee. But other than those two, I don’t believe you can go wrong). Now if only you people would stop being such homos and order some dessert once in awhile! Westminster College When I tell people that I go to Westminster College they’ve either never heard of it or they say something about how expensive it is. The truth about Westminster is that it is more affordable than people realize. The campus is beautiful. The learning atmosphere is exceptional. And it’s the furthest thing from BYU (see previous sentence). Sometimes in life you do get what you pay for.

I’ve found that more often I don’t appreciate what I have until I realize that I can’t keep it forever.

The Terrain Utah is undoubtedly a beautiful place. I’ve come to appreciate views of the valley that I never noticed before I knew I was leaving. Have you ever looked out at the twinkling valley lights from the Avenues or East Bench on a clear night? Have you seen how those same twinkling lights are amplified by a reflective blanket of freshly fallen snow? Or have you ever noticed how the diverse mountains that make up the Wasatch Range look remarkably different depending on your vantage point in the valley? And all of this is saying nothing for the beauty of Southern Utah or the uplifting experience of looking out from the top of any of the elevated mountain peaks found throughout the state. I think it’s true that the more you’re surrounded by something the less you see of it.

The People But what I’ll miss the most about Utah is the people. Because it’s the people you share your meals with that make them truly beneficial to you. It’s the people you go to school with that make the hard work bearable. And it’s the people you share the view with at the top of the mountain that make it memorable. It’s people we miss, not places. Sometimes I don’t appreciate what I have until it’s gone. But I’ve found that more often I don’t appreciate what I have until I realize that I can’t keep it forever.Q

a pril 2 4 , 20 0 8 | issue 101 | QSa lt L a k e | 15

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Ruby Ridge

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Whacko in Waco by Ruby Ridge

I can’t let the Texas polygamy story slide, kittens! The raid on the Waco polygamist compound has been the most televised and overanalyzed train wreck since Britney flashed her pineapple getting out of Paris Hilton’s car. Oh don’t get me wrong, I feel genuine empathy for the kids and a degree of pity for the women who have been so indoctrinated, but the thing that fascinates me is “what the hell is up with WACO?” Is this place a weird-magnet or what? Finally, there is a suitable destination for the discerning end-ofdays cult that craves seclusion, privacy and great Tex-Mex. WooHoo! Apparently the big homes of Colorado City and Hildale are just soooo last year and a gated community in Waco is the place to be. Like they say, pumpkins, it’s all “Location. Location. Location.” First there was David Koresh leading the Branch Davidians to Waco (and hmmm let’s see ... that didn’t really end well), and now it’s Warren Jeffs and the shallow end of the polygamist gene pool setting up a new Zion among the mesquite trees. It’s kinda spooky. If I was managing the local Piggly Wiggly I would probably keep the Kool-Aid locked up behind the counter like cigarettes and spray paint just so the religious cults couldn’t pull a Jonestown. Oh, and don’t get me started with that ugly-assed white Lego block temple of theirs. That thing looks like the third hole of God’s miniature golf course. I’m thinking the polygamist elders should keep the young gay men around (it’s not like they are going to be competing for the sister wives) just to spruce up the compound, give the temple a little flair and teach the women some beauty basics. Ummm ... it’s called clarifying shampoo — Hello! I h you know damn well

can understand the polygamists’ fear and trepidation though. With gas at four bucks a gallon, yet ANOTHER remake of Star Trek coming out in summer, and a black guy and a woman running for President, these folks must think the apocalypse is scheduled for sometime next week. Oh, speaking of signs of the apocalypse, I must send out congratulations to Ron Hunt who was crowned this year’s Mr. Utah Bear. I have known Ron and his partner Todd for years (Todd was also a past Mr. Utah Bear ... Oh My God! ... it’s a Bill and Hillary plaid flannel dynasty!). These happy campers have been actively involved in the community for eons, so it’s nice to see them getting the pinescented recognition they deserve. But I must admit, cherubs, I am a tad confused. Unlike bigboned gals like me, and most of the bears who are shall we say ummm ... “calorically challenged,” our Ron is rather petite. His winning the Mr. Utah Bear pageant is like putting Clay Aiken on the Brawny paper towels label, it’s going to visually take some getting used to. On a positive note I’m thinking Ron’s talent showcase twirling flaming batons of smores must have really kicked some ass. Either that or his evening gown must have had a slit clear up to his pineapple chunks! But I’m left with the lingering question, “Shouldn’t Mr. Utah Bear be bigger than Miss Tooele Teenage Lesbian?” Maybe not, because teenage lesbians are way more butch than some of the bears and they would never wear as much Disney memorabilia. Oh, don’t throw your bear paws on your hips in outrage. I’m just yanking your harness chains, girls. Ron will do a great job. But just to be safe, maybe I had better take a taser and a tween lesbian for protection next time I go to Bear Coffee. Q

Shouldn’t Mr. Utah Bear be bigger than Miss Tooele Teenage Lesbian?

Q uickie

Need a Roommate? Q Classifieds Roommates on page 35

16 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 101 | a pril 2 4 , 20 08

Our Health Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Expect Disclosure by Lynn Beltran

If you have been reading my column for the past year, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve probably noticed my messages about maintaining sexual health through disease prevention. Some might even say I stress this point ad nauseum. Much of what Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve written focuses on the increasing rates of sexually transmitted infections, including HIV, in Salt Lake County and throughout the state. Where HIV is concerned, men who have sex with men are our highest at risk population and comprise over 75 percent of our new infections in Salt Lake County ... and possibly more. One of the most challenging parts of my job is when I have to tell someone they have tested positive for HIV. Although the responses to this news are certainly varied, I can say that I have yet to find someone who views this new diagnosis as good news. In one way or another, people who are diagnosed go through a grieving process, because they must face a number of challenges that come with living with HIV. But I find comfort in knowing that more support exists for those with HIV in the community, and that the stigma surrounding HIV that plagued the 1980s and early â&#x20AC;&#x2122;90s has significantly eroded. A common response I get when someone is recently diagnosed, particularly from people in the MSM community, is, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to be stigmatized sexually now, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want this to get out.â&#x20AC;? Much of this concern comes from what the person imagines his or her sex life will be like in the future. This, of course, is a completely reasonable response, and it is important for HIV positive people to feel that they can still be sexually active. But what is happening a lot these days is people arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t talking about these things. So people are not feeling the moral responsibility to either tell their partners they are HIV positive or feeling the need to use condoms in order to protect partners from disease. Many people seem to think that partners willing to engage in unprotected sex should simply know about and accept the assumed risk for HIV. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve even found that some men feel that if they encourage condoms during sexual activity, their partners will think they have something. In the early 1990s, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention encouraged HIV testing in high risk populations. They did this because research showed if people

knew they were HIV positive, they were more likely to take measures to protect their sexual partners from exposure. But more recent data collected through the HIV Cost and Services Utilization Study showed something far different in the MSM community. This study indicated that MSM were the least likely group to disclose they were HIV positive to sexual partners, and they were less likely to disclose to a non-exclusive partner than an exclusive partner. Disclosing your HIV positive status is often very difficult. There are no legal obligations to disclose in the State of Utah during consensual sex, and many people use this as a reason not to disclose. But why has that moral sense of obligation disappeared? Using condoms is a valid alternative when you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel like you can disclose. In the early years of this epidemic, the gay community rallied together and took many measures to support and protect themselves where people outside this community and public health did not. Part of these protective measures included a push toward using condoms. Back then unprotected sex in the gay community was almost a faux pas. Recently, however, there has been a real shift in that thinking and in the perception of not using a condom as a social stigma. What will it take for this paradigm to move away from complacency and back toward protection? I hope this shift occurs before we run out of funding to ensure HIV health care services, including medications for anyone that is diagnosed with HIV. Now that people are living longer with HIV while rates of this disease are increasing, limited federal program dollars are being stretched and are providing for less coverage and services. I also hope this shift occurs before the available medications stop working because the virus strains have mutated. I hope this shift occurs before the people on long term antiretroviral therapies develop medication-induced hepatitis and the number of people needing liver transplantation surpasses the number of available livers. I hope the gay community finds a way to rally together again to protect itself, so that the MSM community is no longer the highest risk group for contracting HIV.â&#x20AC;&#x201A; Q

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A common response I get when someone is recently diagnosed is, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to be stigmatized sexually now, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want this to get out.â&#x20AC;?

Lynn Beltran is the STD & HIV/AIDS program manager for the Salt Lake Valley Health Department. Their Web site is slvhealth.org

â&#x20AC;&#x201A; a pril 2 4 , 20 0 8â&#x20AC;&#x201A; |â&#x20AC;&#x201A; issue 101â&#x20AC;&#x201A; |â&#x20AC;&#x201A; QSa lt L a k eâ&#x20AC;&#x201A; |â&#x20AC;&#x201A; 17

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o far,

QSaltLake’s Fabulous People have come from all walks of life but most seem to have one thing in common: almost all of them have spent time in California. In yoga teacher and Queer Spirit co-founder John Cottrell’s case, he was born there — in Oakland, to be exact. And he came to the Land of Zion in 1994, like so many fabulous people do, in search of work. In this case, a year-long psychology internship at Valley Mental Health. “I was very attracted to the city,” Cottrell recalled. “I met some good friends, I got a good job after the internship and I really liked the climate here, the four seasons. And the peace was just right here, compared to the bay area. It became a kind of a natural home for me.” Cottrell settled down in his new “natural home” and his post-graduate job at Project Reality, a program in Salt Lake City that helps people struggling with substance abuse and drug addiction. Initially, Cottrell, who holds a doctrate of philosophy in clinical psychology, admits that he wanted to work with young people, including college students with homesickness issues (“I wanted something easy!” he joked). But thanks to his internship, where he spent a lot of time in the drug and alcohol unit at University Hospital, Cottrell found himself working primarily with people addicted to heroin, guiding their medical treatment plans, running group therapy sessions and giving clients “one-on-one” therapy sessions. “These were folks who really wanted help and were coming in to get help,” he said of his time there. “About 95 percent were there voluntarily. It helped me personally to look at the human condition and what we do to cope, what we do under stress, what we do with loss and failure. With these folks it was addiction. That’s how they coped. It made me look at my own coping mechanisms — what do I do with loss and grief? I think it was a growing experience for me, and very humbling. I realized we’re all the same, we just have different styles of taking care of ourselves.” While seeing patients downtown, Cottrell also found time to work out. And soon, he said, fitness and exercise became another passion. “Even before I moved here, I’d always been attracted to movement and dance,” he explained. “In high school and as a grad student I performed and did plays and musicals, the kind of typical stuff. After I moved here [I got] a little more into fitness.” Cottrell started out with TV exercise programs in the morning before work. And then he joined a local gym in order to further pursue his interest in aerobics (“it was like dancing,” he said). He hired a personal trainer, who eventually let him teach weight and aerobic classes at her gym. And then he discovered his first yoga class. “Yoga was just something I’d always wanted to try,” he recalled. “So I went to a class and fell instantly in love with it.” He

studied the ancient spiritual and physical discipline for a year before receiving his certification to teach it. Using his experience as a choreographer in graduate school, Cottrell also began The G-Force Dance Project, a community dance troupe for “men and women, boys and girls, all ages” to come together to perform. The group was active in 1999 and 2000, performing publicly and doing movement workshops at various conferences, including one for lay chaplins at Primary Children’s Hospital who work with families with terminally ill children. “I did a movement exercise with them about death and dying and really got them to — they were able to verbalize what they thought they’d say [to a family with a dying child], but sometimes the body can speak more than words can do,” he said. Cottrell’s passion for psychology and his passion for movement were beginning to merge. And after he took a job as the Harm Reduction Project’s program director, the two finally came together. “I’d always wondered what it would be like doing yoga full time,” Cottrell said. When visiting Lifetime Fitness in South Jordan with a friend, he decided to find out. “I talked to a trainer, and they were hiring and wanted someone to coordinate their department,” he explained. Cottrell immediately put in an application and now he coordinates the gym’s pilates and yoga programs. “I’m still using my psychology background while I teach yoga,” he said. “It’s still about the human condition. It’s still about being present and mindful and taking care of ourselves.” He even compares his one-on-one yoga sessions with therapy, because he also talks to his clients about their “emotional issues and life issues” when putting together a yoga routine for them. These days, Cottrell also brings his unique blend of therapeutic yoga to Queer Spirit, a group devoted to helping gay men unlearn harmful spiritual, behavioral and emotional habits and grow together as a community. Cottrell started the group two years ago with Salt Lake City therapist Jerry Buie after the two men discovered they had similar ideas about creating such a group for the gay community. The group holds a seasonal retreat at the gorgeous Wind Walker Ranch in Spring City, Utah. And when they get together, Cottrell leads the men through movement exercises — sometimes yoga, sometimes dance — to help them reach a better understanding of themselves and of their individual journeys as gay spiritual men. “I think it’s another eye-opener, another enlightening experience, seeing that something which I feel is very simple — like movement which isn’t too much and a little yoga practice and talking does so much and is so much for people,” Cottrell said, adding that he has seen his work change men for the better. “For me personally it’s been wonderful. It’s hard to put it into words. It’s sometimes unbelievable.” Q

1 8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 101 | a pril 2 4 , 20 08

The Perils of Petunia Pap-Smear Chapter one:

The Birth of a Queen

Petunia Pap-Smear and this column is the beginning of my story as a gay Mormon boy living in the “Crossroads Of The West,” coping with whatever the world decides to throw my way. A long long time ago, during the Eisenhower administration, (in gay years, this makes me older than God’s Dog) in a galaxy far far away from West Hollywood, namely Cache Valley, I was born. According to the Chinese calendar it was the Year of the Cock, how lucky am I? I am a fifth generation Cache Valley native, my ancestors having done the whole pioneer thing in the 1800s. This means that my historical roots go much further than my actual roots, which need another bottle of Clairol even as we speak. I was born on a potato and sheep farm in Dayton, a very small farming town (OK, “town” might be considered a gross exaggeration) in the Idaho end of Cache Valley (I always fantasized that it was “Cash” Valley and we were all rich and fabulous like Alexis Colby on Dynasty). According to Mormon tradition, when I was a month old, my father blessed me in the Dayton Ward house on the first Sunday in June. The very next day after the blessing, they tore the church house down to make way for a new one. Of course with me crossing the threshold they would need to get rid of the evidence, posthaste, before J. Edgar Hoover’s Salt Lake friends found out. You should see the home movie they made when they attached a chain to the steeple and pulled it down with a tractor — very dramatic, just like when they pulled down Saddam Hussein’s statue with the tank. The demolition of the church building was perhaps the first sign that all would not go as officially planned for this little Mormon prince, or should I say princess? Little did Jack and Orthea (yes that’s my mom’s real name, a composite of Orson and Althea) nor anyone else realize that I would grow up to be a full-fledged, rainbow flag-waving, high heel wearing, sheep tending “Ida-Homo.” The only problem being the outrunning of the sheep. It’s hard to do in heels! Upon reaching adulthood, (I’ve always said that I may be getting older but I refuse to grow up) it became time for me to put away girlish things (meaning the Suzy Homemaker oven that I stole from my sister) and become the full-fledged queen that I apparently was meant to be. It was time to choose a drag name. As I understand it, there are a couple of rules that govern how an up-and-coming drag queen gets her name. #1. Use your childhood pet’s name as your first name. #2. Use your mother’s maiden name or the name of the street where you lived as a child as your last name. Honestly, my childhood pet’s name was Fluffy. y name is

My mother’s maiden name was Cox. The country road that I lived on had the unofficial name of “Balls Avenue.” I kid you not because five families named Balls lived on the road. One of them was even named Harold (Harry) Balls, for real! The name permutations could have been Fluffy Cox or Fluffy Balls. Since I was a “high-minded wannabe” and the possessor of a fabulous pink feather boa, I didn’t think either of these names sounded very dignified. Being civic-minded, like all good queens should be, I chose a name that would help remind people of good health practices. I learned at the national Gay Men’s Health Summit, after the naked sunrise frolic workshop (true, we got naked, danced around to 70s music and jerked our neighbor off as we watched the sun rise), that every person should get a pap-smear on a regular basis. I think this must be to check for hang nails, worms or scurvy or some damned thing. Oh, they don’t make workshops like that anymore. Too bad! With my new name, miniskirt, size 14 pumps and a borrowed wig, I threw some glitter into my mustache and delved into the world of drag. I was part of a threesome called “The Full-Figured Girls.” Alas, I do not make a glamorous queen. Such is the tragedy that we all can not be as fabulous as Crystal Carrington. “Butt Ugly” is probably the best that I could ever hope for. Perhaps I could be a stand in for the Hunchback of Notre Dame. So here we are in 2008, and I present myself and my stories of conquest and defeat to you. I’m a geriatric drag queen with no style or grace facing life’s perils as they are thrown at me, but I sure am having fun with it. To quote Auntie Mame, “You’ve got to Live! Live! Live! Life’s a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death.” This story leaves us with several burning questions: 1. What exactly does a pap-smear check for? 2. If I had used “Fluffy Cox” as my name do you think I could be a spokesperson for Viagra? 3. Had I been reported to J. Edgar Hoover, do you think that he and I could have shared dresses and make-up tips? 4. I wonder if Harry Balls was permanently traumatized? 5. Would the Coffee Garden object to a naked sunrise frolic workshop? 6. Is it tasteful to wear a miniskirt when you are a size 24? 7. How long can you tastefully let your roots grow between dye jobs? 8. At what point does a geriatric queen morph into a troll? 9. At that point will someone assign me a bridge to live under or must I find one myself? These and other burning questions to be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap-Smear. Q

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A Truly Crappy Job

20 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 101 | a pril 2 4 , 20 08

Many people will tell you they have crappy jobs because they hate what they do. But Jason LaMunyon goes to work smiling, and he has the crappiest job of all.

e shovels poop for a living. Everyone’s least favorite kind, too — the kind waiting on sidewalks, left by careless or just plain squeamish dog owners. No, seriously. “It’s extremely busy,” he said. “It’s a lot of work. Let’s put it this way: It’s really picking up.” LaMunyon picked up his first dookie about a year ago, shortly after adopting a Labrador from a friend. At the time he owned an independent sales agency and estimates he spent about 140 days a year on the road — often with his dog riding shotgun. And at every hotel they stayed, they found the same thing: a stinky brown mess all over the designated pet areas. The poo — and an article from a business magazine that showed how fast the pet industry was growing got LaMunyon thinking. He was tired of the long hours and the long miles. He wanted to spend more time at home. “So I decided I was going to start my own business and be home every day,” he said. And thus one crappy job was exchanged for another. One year later, Smith owns Fido’s Poo Crew, a business specializing in ... well, business. Starting at just $8 a session he and his crew will clear any kennel or yard —

commercial or residential — left by any dog – be it that of collie, poodle or shitzu. While a lot of people told LaMunyon his decision to chase down brown snakes was “a little crazy,” business has never been better. LaMunyon has a number of frequent customers in Salt Lake City, Davis County and the Alpine/Lehi area. New ones, he said, are calling for the poop mobile every day. Of these, LaMunyon said about half are gay — a population he’s been scooping for since the beginning. “I have a lot of friends that are gay, I realized that every single one of them seemed to have a dog,” said LaMunyon (who is straight). “It seems to be that a lot of the gay community is really open to dogs. I kind of went after the gay community from day one. I wanted to have a gay-friendly business.” LaMunyon’s business is also friendly to a number of good causes. His crews clean the Humane Society’s kennels every week for free and sponsor a kennel during the organization’s adopt-a-thon. The plates on his unmistakable trucks also bear ‘No More Homeless Pets’ Utah license plates. The bright yellow and blue vehicles, incidentally, have also been known to get some strange looks. “You’re sitting at an intersection and every car is laughing at you,” LaMunyon laughed. “It took me about a month to get used to that.” All kidding aside, LaMunyon’s business isn’t just the dogs’ business — it’s really about the dogs themselves. “For me it’s not the cleaning up, I enjoy seeing the dogs every week,” he said. “Most dogs growl the first week, but about a week later they get used to it. And when we show up on our weekly service they’re like, ‘Oh my gosh! It’s you!’” As for the toilet humor, he says he’s used to it, especially because clients (and reporters) are always the first ones to come up with off-color potty puns about his work. “Very few people can happily say they have a crappy job,” he joked. Q To get Fido’s Poo Crew to pick up your dog’s poo call 942-0407 or visit fidospoocrew.com.

More Info

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Talk to the Animals

JoSelleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cat Talks with Roxanne Hunt To get an idea of how Roxanne Hunt works, I asked her to do a little session with my cat, Oscar. Oscar was taking his mid-morning nap on my bed when I brought the phone over. Although he seemed to be a little annoyed at being interrupted, he seemed willing to talk. He told her the following: His favorite toy in the whole wide world is a mouse that rattles, and he particularly enjoys grabbing it in his mouth and throwing it. Personally, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve tripped over that damn thing too many times to doubt this. Speaking of mice, it has been â&#x20AC;&#x153;a long timeâ&#x20AC;? since heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s last caught a mouse. As heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been an indoor cat for almost three years now, I suppose it has been. His favorite place to lie is somewhere very sunny. I thought this was probably his favorite perch on a book shelf near a window. Not too long ago, he suffered some trauma to his mouth. This is the part that particularly amazed me. I hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t told Hunt that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d had two rotted teeth pulled last year, or that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d been in a lot of pain (not to mention very unhappy with me!) after. For the record, she told me a few things I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t confirm. Mainly that Oscar had lived with another animal before wandering into my life as a stray three years ago, and that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d had a nasty leg injury at one point. Although heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s had plenty of mouth problems, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never seen him limp, so I told her I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t explain this. Finally, the most gratifying thing: Out of all the people in Oscarâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m his favorite. Well, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d better be!

Local Pet Psychic Tells All

By JoSelle Vanderhooft

s an intuitive life coach, Roxanne Hunt often spends her days helping clients clarify and achieve their goals. But sometimes she says she uses her same gift for intuition to diagnose injuries in horses, to determine whether itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to euthanize a pet, or just to help pet owners understand what goes on in Fluffy or Fidoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s head. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s right. Hunt is an honest-to-goodness pet psychic. She also has a cat named Princess Gila who reads tarot cards. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Cats are highly intuitive,â&#x20AC;? she explained. â&#x20AC;&#x153;They have the ability to work with human energy to heal us.â&#x20AC;? When asked how she got into this unusual line of work, Hunt laughed. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t that a good question? Nobody I know starts off wanting to do this. It kind of finds you.â&#x20AC;? Her job â&#x20AC;&#x153;foundâ&#x20AC;? her a few years ago in Hollywood, where Hunt, who is also an actor, and a friend had traveled to talk to a producer about a project they wanted to do. On the way, her friend introduced her to a stable owner who asked Hunt if she could talk to horses. Until that point Hunt had only used her intuition to talk to human clients. But she

told the stable owner she was willing to try. As she walked through the stalls, she tried to talk to the horses by sending them pictures and words. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I said, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;I can hear you. Tell me what you want to say,â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? she said. One horse said he was terrified of rattlesnakes. Another showed her images of lakes in the Midwest. Not knowing what, if anything, this meant, Hunt told the stable owner. â&#x20AC;&#x153;She said, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m really freaked out. How do you know this?â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? Hunt recalled. It turned out that the first horseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s owners had brought him to the stable after the rattlesnakes at their stable scared him so much they could no longer ride him. The second horse was going to return to the Midwest with his owners on the following day. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I would be the first to say this is outside the box and pretty bizarre but when you have outside people validating it, it sort of takes on a life of its own,â&#x20AC;? said Hunt. After that, she decided to offer her intuitive services to stable owners. It wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t long, she said, before people asked her to speak to their pets. Although Hunt noted sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s particularly drawn to horses (â&#x20AC;&#x153;theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re very clear and easy for me to connect withâ&#x20AC;?), she

has talked to dogs, cats, goats and even spinner dolphins while on a swim. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Animals are so delightful because thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no drama,â&#x20AC;? she said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re very clear and to the point. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re just delightful.â&#x20AC;? Knowing how â&#x20AC;&#x153;bizarreâ&#x20AC;? the idea of an animal psychic can be for many people, Hunt said she encourages her clients to be skeptical, and to realize that she would never say sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;100 percent accurate.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know how you would be,â&#x20AC;? she admitted. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But you do the best with what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re given. It becomes your job to relay the information as clearly and authentically as you can without putting any of your own information into it.â&#x20AC;? When her clients ask her to tell their animals how much they love them, Hunt reassures them that their pets already know. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Whether you know it or not, your animals are always picking up on what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re saying,â&#x20AC;? she explained. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I promise you theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re hearing what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re saying.â&#x20AC;?â&#x20AC;&#x201A; Q

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WHAT THE LOCALS KNOW. VISITDENVER.COM/GLBT TM

Q Pets How to Tell if Your Cat is Gay 1. He’d rather watch the musical Cats than Animal Planet’s The Wild World of Birds. 2. After reading Dancing with Cats, he choreographs a disco routine to “New York City Boy” by The Petshop Boys. 3. You find yourself captioning pictures of her on icanhascheezeburger.com with any of the following: “Is this the ruby fruit jungle?” “Tool time!” and, of course, “I can has pussy?” 4. He uses your Buttarsaurus™ plush doll as a scratching post. 5. And sometimes an impromptu litter box. 6. You’re not sure how it happened, but all of her toys and blankets are covered in flannel. 7. Unless the cat nip is organic and comes from the local womyn’s co-op, she won’t touch it. 8. He reads Ryan Shattuck. 9. Any bulletin from Focus on the Family, the Westboro Baptist Church or the American Fork High School PTSA within 100 feet is confetti. 10. Your copy of QSaltLake keeps mysteriously ending up in her pet bed ... along with the neighbor’s pretty little calico.

Rescue Me!

For the last 15 years, Wasatch Animal Rescue has been saving abandoned and abused animals. For eight of these, the rescue has been operating out of Yuppie Puppie, a hip pet shop/shelter in the equally hip 9th and 9th neighborhood. The organization is the brain child of Heather, who said that she routinely saves dogs from puppy mills, breeding facilities that pump out large numbers of purebred dogs — often in squalid and cruel conditions. Because of her work with these facilities, Heather said she wasn’t able to tell QSaltLake her last name. Aside from Heather, Yuppie Puppie employs five regular workers, two groomers and an obedience teacher, and a large number of volunteers. Although Heather estimates that she and her staff find homes for 60–70 animals each month (including rabbits, guinea pigs and ferrets), the rescue has a lot of beautiful animals now who need to find loving families. QSaltLake profiles a few of them in this issue. Hi, I’m Shelby. I’ve been at Wasatch Animal Rescue for about a year now because black kitties like me just don’t get adopted as much. I think that’s stupid! I like it when nice people pet me — and if you stop, I’ll tap you with my paw until you pet me again. I also like licking nice reporters’ hands when they scratch me under the chin. I hope you will take me home for lots of pets and cuddles. Prrr ... I’m Jean, and I like my big, comfy basket. That’s because I’m also a big, comfy kitty. Nope, I’m not pregnant — I had babies two years ago. I just like eating and snoozing a lot. Can I take a nap on your lap? I’m really friendly and I get along well with all my kitty friends here at the animal rescue. I’ll like any pets or people in your house, too! I’m Ollie. Cough, cough. Sorry, I’ve got a respiratory infection right now. It’s because I’m FIV positive, so I can get sick sometimes. But if you

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take me home to a low-stress house I can live a long, full life. I can only live by myself or with other kitties that have feline HIV because it’s pretty easily passed to kitties that don’t have it. I’ve got some special needs, but that just means I need an extra special home! Heyyy ... I’m Willie. I came to Wasatch Animal Rescue awhile ago with my brother, who just found a home. My last owner gave me up because she said I’m not affectionate. But that’s not true! I love visiting everyone who comes into the rescue and I really love it when they give me pats. I get along great with all the other kitties here, so I’ll be OK if you have other kitties already. I like meeting new friends! I’m Momma. They call me Momma because I had babies last year. They’ve all found homes, so I hope it’s my turn now. I love rubbing up against people’s legs and I love it when you pick me up and cuddle me. I’ve also got six claws on my front paws. That means I’m really special! I’m OK being an only kitty or living with your other kitties ... as long as you pet me lots. Please come down to the rescue and pet me? Ooooh ... I’m ready for my close-up, Laurie! I’m Tabitha, and I’ve been here three whole years. I know, can you believe it? Look how pretty I am! I’m a big, friendly girl but I can get cranky if you don’t stop petting me when I nip at you. Just make sure you give me star treatment and I’ll love you forever ... even if you have other kitties. Mewww! Amateurs! I’m Mocha, and hey ... I may be a little dog, but I got a big attitude. Like Joe Pesci, kinda. Or the drink I’m named after. You got kids or other dogs? Fuggidaboutit! I don’t like ’em, and I gotta be an only dog. But hey, I’m feisty and cute so what’s not to love? Badda bing, badda boom! Hi there. I’m Mama. They call me that ’cuz they think I’ve had lots of puppies (little so-and-sos sure wore my nipples out!). I’m a pit bull, but don’t let

that scare you. My foster dad Gaya Yosri says I’m really smart, house-broken, sweet and patient with his annoying little puppy. You kinda get used to whiny kids when you’ve had as many kids as I have. Gaya thinks I’d be good with other dogs, and I’d love to go on walks with you. Yip yip! I’m Dorothy. You know. Like the Golden Girls. ’Cuz I’m a golden Pomeranian. Get it? Get it? Heather saved me from a nasty puppy mill, so I’m a little scared of people right now. But I’m learning to trust again, and I’m rrrreeaaaallly energetic! See how I’m smiling here? I get along well with all my other sisters, and I’d be happy to meet any doggies you have at home! Hello, I’m Louise, and I don’t like to admit it, but I’m the favorite over at Yuppie Puppie because I’m so sweet and I say hello to everyone I meet. But that doesn’t mean they don’t want me to find a home. I really like attention, and I’m excited to meet any new dog or cat friends you have at your house. They’re testing me for breast cancer now, so I might have some special needs. I really want to come home with you so we can go for lots and lots of walks! Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiiiiiieeeenerrrr ... but I’m just a wiener dog named Meyer! I’m another puppy mill rescue so I’m still a little nervous around people (I went out for the first time today when the nice reporter came by!). But Heather says I’m lively and fun and really affectionate. I really want to come home with you ... just as long as you don’t make too many hot dog jokes. Hi I’m Jack, and I’m a Japanese Chin dog. Shorrry if I talk a little funny. It’s ’caush my toungek hangsh out of my mouth. I’m kind of schhy around people (Laurie had to call me lots to get my pictschuur), but I’m schoo cute! I’d love to be your new bescht friend!

Go by the Wasatch Animal Rescue at The Yuppie Puppie, 868 E 900 South, Monday through Saturday 8:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. or Sunday 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. to take a look at these and other wayward pets. You can also see more pets online at warescue.petfinder.com. Take us home! Q

a pril 2 4 , 20 0 8 | issue 101 | QSa lt L a k e | 23

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Dog Walking … The Ultimate in Speed Dating

2 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 101 | a pril 2 4 , 20 08

By jimmy palmieri

hen I first moved to Salt Lake from New York eleven years ago, I didn’t know a soul in Utah. I left a longterm relationship and decided to board a plane. My original intent was to stay here for six months, and as the illustrious drag actor Divine very dramatically said in one of his films, “soak in a hot bubble bath and wash the stench of a marriage gone wrong off of my body.” Well I’ve been soaking now for more than a decade, and have learned some gay specific neighborhood rules. Firstly what I noticed, as I familiarized myself with my new 9th & 9th community, was that everyone was always dressed for clubbing, even if it were just to take out the trash. So when I ran down the street for a pack of smokes (I quit nine years ago, shut up already), right out of bed, I was stared down at as though I had blood on my hands and there was a corpse in plain view. So meeting the man of my dreams was not going to happen on early morning cigarette runs. I also noticed that shopping carts were always filled with low- fat and lo-cal EVERYTHING. There was ne’er a pint of ice cream or a box of oreos in anyone’s basket. It got to the point that I had to drive to Magna, just to shove a bon bon in my mouth. But, the most unbelievable phenomenon I realized was that dog walking is imperative out here to get “lucky” or even make a friend. I watched guys of all shapes and sizes, congregate mid block, on the corner, at the market fronts, anywhere, all under the pretense of making believe they cared about each other’s dogs. I studied this behavior, and began to consider getting a little dog, but I was not ready for that much of a commitment just yet. I did realize though, that I was not going to be included in this “puppy/daddy” club unless I had a canine buddy of my own. I had no friends yet, so I couldn’t borrow a dog. There didn’t seem to be a dog renting service in the gay rag, (trust me, someone will be rich if they start that type of business up) and I wasn’t prepared for the responsibility of owning my own puppy just yet.

I had to be resourceful. Anyone who knows me well knows that I can overcome any obstacle put in front of me, if given a short period of time to think it over. I realized that these puppy daddies really never actually cared about the other dogs. It was all pretenses in hopes of getting some digits. I didn’t have a puppy, but I did have a stuffed Felix the Cat. He was a memento from my childhood that has lived with me in more than eight residences. So I did what any lonely, puppyless person would do in my situation. I collared Felix, put him on a leash, checked my duds, and took him for a walk. You heard me. I dragged Felix up and down the block and talked to him as though he were a newborn pet. Now I know you might think this is bizarre behavior, but please understand. I am as sane as the next person here, but I was just desperate for some human contact. At first I think people thought I was crazy. But in less than an hour, I had made three new friends who spoke to me in between their laughter, two of whom were telling me I was brilliant. Did you hear that? I was called brilliant, for dragging around a stuffed animal on a rope. You see, what I realized from these little Felix dragging excursions was that it wasn’t really a dog that was attracting people. It was a plain simple common thread that allowed guys to be OK to speak to each other. All of us, whether beautiful or average, have our own fears about meeting new people. Maybe its because we have been told time and time again through our lives, that gay is wrong. Maybe it’s just fear of socialization, as we have been ostracized by society for decades. Or maybe it’s just because we feel we are not worthy of someone else’s attention. Whatever the reason, a simple common thread allows us to break barriers and make new friends. Oh by the way, I didn’t meet my partner of almost seven years by dragging Felix around. I met him a more conventional way. We met on a hook up site on the computer. You heard me. And yes, it has lasted. Besides, Felix was threadbare at that point, and I just couldn’t commit to buying a new stuffed animal. Q

dog walking is imperative out here to get “lucky” or even make a friend

EVENTS THIS MONTH AT THE

APR 24 5pm Transgender Youth Group 7pm Empowerment Workshop 7pm Utah Bear Alliance APR 25 6pm Wise Fitness 7pm Game Night, Café Marmalade 7pm Alliance of Gay and Straights for Civil Justice APR 26 2pm Queers in Action 7pm Center Stage Live, Café Marmalade 7:30pm Crystal Meth Anonymous 7p Latina Lesbianas Unidas 7p Game Night 7p Alliance of Gay and Straights for Civil Justice 8p Twelve Step: Stonewall Group APR 27 10a Friends of Thelma & Louise Coffee Group 11a Sunday Brunch 3p Twelve Step: GLBT AA 7p Utah Polyamory Society Meeting APR 28 6:30p Partners of Transgender Adult Group 8p Twelve Step: Gay Men’s AA APR 29 8p Twelve Step: Live & Let Live APR 30 12p Men’s Sack Lunch 6p Utah Pride Festival Steering Meeting 7:30p Twelve Step: Sober Today MAY 1 4p Free HIV Testing 4p Youth Case Managment 5p Parents of Transgender Youth Group 5p Transgender Youth Group 6:30p Transgender Adult Support Group MAY 2 6p Wise Fitness 6:30p One Voice 6:30p Utah Polyamory Society Meeting Utah Polyamory Society Meeting 7p Alliance of Gay and Straights for Civil Justice 8p Twelve Step: Stonewall Group MAY 3 2p Queers in Action 3p Youth Drag Show 6p Twelve Step: Free to be Me 7:30p Crystal Meth Anonymous MAY 4 10a Friends of Thelma & Louise Coffee Group 11a Sunday Brunch 1p Neighborhood Potluck 3p Twelve Step: GLBT AA MAY 5 6:30p DiverseCity Writing Group 8p Twelve Step: Gay Men’s AA MAY 6 7p Women’s Support Group 8p Twelve Step: Live & Let Live MAY 7 12p Men’s Sack Lunch 6p 2008 Utah Pride Festival Planing Committee Meeting 7:30p Twelve Step: Sober Today MAY 8 4p Youth Case Managment 5p Transgender Youth Group 7p Empowerment Workshops - Sexuality 7p Bisexual Community Forum MAY 9 6p Wise Fitness 7p Alliance of Gay and Straights for Civil Justice 8p Twelve Step: Stonewall Group MAY 10 2p Queers in Action 6p Twelve Step: Free to be Me 7:30p Crystal Meth Anonymous

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! E C N A H C LAST TM

You’re Last Chance to get in the 2008 Pride Printing of TheQ Pages is May 10! Don’t Miss Out! Call 801-649-6663 Today!

a pril 2 4 , 20 0 8 | issue 101 | QSa lt L a k e | 25

Save the Date

Q A&E

Major Events of the Community

The Gay Agenda

april 26 Queer Prom “The Origin of Love” utahpridecenter.org

may 26–28 RCGSE Coronation, rcgse.org

Enjoying Homo Theater

june 6–8 Utah Pride Festival utahpride.org

june 14 HRC Utah Dinner hrcutah.org

june 21 by Tony Hobday

Team QSaltLake played the season’s first official game of the Pride Community Softball League last Sunday against Rainbow Mountain Realty. Though we lost by a margin, we looked damn skippy out there. We’re still a young team, sniffing each other’s butts; Rainbow has been around the field a few times, with male players who stretch for the ball in splits like Geena Davis. I was proud of our effort, and at least we kept some mystery about whether we’re tops or bottoms.

Friday — A production of the highest Tony award-winning musical, The Producers, is hitting the stage in Utah. It could also be considered the most successful “flop” in history. A gleefully vulgar play, the show makes politically incorrect fun of everyone from Hitler and the Nazis to lovestarved little old ladies to homosexuals and the theatre world.

7:30pm, through May 10, Pioneer Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, UofU. Tickets $25–49, 581-6961 or pioneertheatre.org.

Q Presented by Pygmalion Theatre Company and directed by the prestigious Fran Pruyn, the play Sordid Lives is a tragically hilarious story of love, loss, cross-dressing and white-trash etiquette. Full of colorful characters, this show is sure to please. The only thing better would be if Olivia Newton-John and Delta Burke were reprising their roles in this production. 7:30pm, through May 10, Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $20, 355ARTS or arttix.org.

Q Because we’re celebrating the wonderful world of pets in this issue, I would like to encourage you in Confronting Cruelty. This is a free conference for anyone interested in the welfare of animals. Films, workshops and speakers will cover a wide range of animal protection issues including pet over population and abuse of animals. Just writing about

this subject matter makes me extremely emotional.

9am–5pm, through Sunday, City Library, 210 E. 400 South. Free, 269-9820 or confrontingcruelty.com

Saturday — It’s that time of year again for the younger generation of GLBT’s to get dolled up in that fabulous gown from Modest by Design or that retro blue tuxedo and dickey. Damn, how I miss proms. Anyhoo, Queer Prom 2008: The Origin of Love will be a super night for gay and gay-friendly youth ages 14-20 to whoop it up. 8pm, City Library, 210 E. 400 South. Tickets $5/ advance–$10/door, 539-8800 or utahpridecenter. org.

sundaY — Dubbed the gay-Utah “version of the People’s Choice Awards,” the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire’s Golden Spike Awards will be handed out tonight. So if you filled out a nomination form ... or even if you didn’t, go find out the winners for best Bar Party, Man of the Year, Best Couple and many others. The show includes performances by the talented members of the court.

7pm, Trapp Door, a private club for members, 615 W 100 South. Tickets $5 at the door, 533-0173.

mondaY — If you love jazz then you most likely also love Dianne Reeves. This highly talented jazz vocalist is the only singer to win three consecutive Grammy awards for Best Jazz Vocal Album, and she has garnered much praise for her live performances. What more could you ask for, right? Check her out tonight as she promotes her new album When You Know.

7:30pm, Sheraton City Centre, 150 W. 500 South. Tickets $25, 278-0411 or jazzslc.com.

THURSDAY — From playwright Tony Kushner, who brought us Angels in America, comes Wasatch Theatre Company’s production of Caroline, or Change. The musical centers on a Southern Jewish family and their black maid, Caroline. A fragile, yet beautiful friendship between young Noah and Caroline is built after the death of Noah’s mother, but hard lessons are learned in this poignant show set to

26 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 101 | a pril 2 4 , 20 08

Salt Lake Men’s Choir “Hooray For Hollywood” 25th Anniv. Concert saltlakemenschoir.org

the backdrop of the American civil rights movement.

8pm, through May 18, Studio Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $15, 355-ARTS or arttix.org.

june 26–29

july 4

FRIDAY — OMG ... tell me it isn’t so. The Sound of Music comes to the Utah stage. A would-be nun brings love, laughter and a helluva lot of singing to seven siblings of a restrictive, disciplinarian father. This show is so spectacular, every gay man leaves feeling like the lost Von Trapp sister.

Utah Arts Festival uaf.org True Colors Tour, USANA Amphitheatre truecolorstour.com

july 19 PWACU’s Charity Fashion Show & Silent Auction, pwacu.org

august 1–3

7:30pm, through May 24, Academy of Performing Arts, 3188 S. 400 East. Tickets $10–12, 486-2728 or academyofpa.org.

The Village Summit utahaids.org

Q In this issue we’re also celebrating our homes and gardens, and on that note what better way to spruce up your yards/ gardens then the plants offered at Red Butte Garden’s Annual Benefit Plant Sale. An impressive selection of herbs, specialty annuals, vegetables, perennials, ornamental grasses, shrubs, roses, vines, trees and the best natives and drought tolerant plants are available today for Garden members, and tomorrow for the general public.

Park City Arts Festival kimball-art.org

3–8pm, 9am–3pm Saturday, Cottam’s Grove at Red Butte Garden, 300 Wakara Way. Call 585-3813 or visit redbuttegarden.org.

SATURDAY — Grammy-nominated Tiempo Libre is one of the hottest young Latin bands today. The Miamibased band has become known for their incendiary, joyful performances of timba — an irresistible dance-inducing mix of high-voltage Latin jazz and the seductive rhythms of son — true modern heirs to the rich tradition of the music of their native Cuba.

7:30pm, Peery’s Egyptian Theater, 2415 Washington Blvd., Ogden. Tickets $10–15, 801-395-3227 or peerysegyptiantheater.com.

UPCOMING

EVENTS

Jun. 21 — Salt Lake Men’s Choir Hooray for Hollywood 25th Anniv. concert, kingtix.com Jun. 24 — Ani DiFranco, Las Vegas Jul. 4 — True Colors, USANA Amphitheatre Jul. 19 — The Police, USANA Amphitheatre Jul. 26 — Eddie Izzard, Las Vegas Nov. 21 — Celine Dion, ES Arena

august 1–3

august 7–10 PWACU River Trip pwacu.org

august8–9 Red Rock Women’s Festival, Torrey redrockwomensfest.com

august 10 Q Day at Lagoon

august 15–16 PrIdaho — Pocatello, Idaho Pride pridaho.org

august 24 Center Golf Classic utahpridecenter.org

september 16 Equality Utah Allies Dinner equalityutah.org

september 26–27 Southern Utah Pride, Springdale. southernutahpride.org

october 10–12 SLC GayBowl VIII mwffl.org

october 11 Coming Out Day Breakfast utahpridecenter.org

Email arts@qsaltlake.com for consideratilon to be included in Save the Date.

Akim Adé Larcher of Stop Murder Music (Canada). Wockner News photo

iTunes Pulls Anti-Gay Jamaican Dancehall Songs Following a joint campaign by the tions with Apple, Larcher and Egale Canadian national gay-lobby group Executive Director Helen Kennedy said Egale and Stop Murder Music (Canada), such lyrics are illegal in Canada. “Incitement of violence and murder iTunes apparently has removed antigay songs by popular Jamaican danceoffends Canadian law,” they wrote. hall singers Buju Banton, Elephant “Sections 318 and 319 of the Criminal Man and T.O.K. from its North AmeriCode make it criminal offences to advocan service. cate killing members of a group, or to publicly incite or promote hatred based “This is an historic victory for the LGBT community,” said Akim Adé on a person’s sexual orientation. SecLarcher of Stop Murder Music. “iTunes tion 13 of the Canadian Human Rights is exercising its corporate responsibility Act prohibits Internet communications by pulling this murder music and raising ... of messages that expose or that are the bar for other retailers and distribulikely to expose a person to hatred on tors to do the same.” the basis of their sexual Several Jamaican orientation.” The songs iTunes dancehall singers have a history of bashing gays apparently deleted include T.O.K.’s “Chi-Chi in their lyrics, including, in some cases, calling for Man,” Elephant Man’s them to be killed. “Log On” and Banton’s Banton’s 1992 hit “Boom Bye Bye.” Apple’s public “Boom Bye Bye,” for example, advocates Jamaican dancehall singer Buju Banton relations office in shooting gay men, Cupertino, Calif., and dumping acid on them the company’s direcand setting them alight. tor of marketing in Its lyrics include: Canada did not return a “Boom bye bye / Inna reporter’s calls seeking batty bwoy head / comment. Rude bwoy no promote However, the reportno nasty man / Dem er confirmed that the haffi dead / ... Send fi songs are unavailable di matic an / Di Uzi on the service and, by Elephant Man instead / Shoot dem no chance, the reporter come if we shot dem / previously had down... Guy come near we / loaded “Boom Bye Bye” Then his skin must peel from iTunes during / Burn him up bad like research for an earlier an old tire wheel.” story. “Batty bwoy” is a pejorative Jamaican term for “gay man.” T.O.K. In their communica a pril 2 4 , 20 0 8 | issue 101 | QSa lt L a k e | 27

N AE &WE S

DVDiva

Well-groomed: an interview with Jai Rodriguez By Gregg Shapiro

Many TV viewers got to know Jai Rodriguez from his role on the groundbreaking Bravo reality series Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. As the culture guy, a sort of vague concept, Rodriguez made the best of his title and appeared to be having fun with it. For his new show, Groomer Has It, a reality competition show — think Project Runway or Top Chef, but with dogs — on Animal Planet, he takes on host duties and does a terrific job. I spoke with Jai shortly before the show had its April TV premiere. Gregg Shapiro: How did you come to be involved with the show Groomer Has It? Jai Rodriguez: At the time when they were originally looking to lock in a name, I wasn’t available. I was doing the Ultimate Style show with Daisy Fuentes. They had someone cast and then his schedule didn’t pan out and they reached out to me again, and I did have some free time. It was really a pleasure because I had been looking to do something involving animals for a while, because I have two dogs. This seemed to be a natural tie-in. I was really thrilled to be a part of it. I did have to audition; it wasn’t a straight-up offer. If you can believe that (laughs), I still had to go in and do the audition thing. It was really crazy. GS: What did the audition involve?

JR: For a hosting gig of this nature, it’s usually preparing the script copy, the opening monologue, or they’ll give an example of a challenge. Usually they make them up so that when you audition you have no idea what the show’s content will be specifically. It has something to do with dogs and it was very host-y copy. You read that and then they throw animals at you and you have to improvise a little bit to see if you’re quick on your toes and how you’d react in different situations. And then they put it on tape.

GS: Other than Groomer Has It, do you have a favorite competition show?

JR: That’s so funny. I’ll say “[American] Idol” for lack of originality.

GS: Reality competition shows often have specific types in the competition, such as one who’s cocky, one who’s sweet to everyone, one who’s a cry-baby, one who’s street savvy, and so on. Would you say that that is true of the competitors on Groomer Has It?

JR: Yes, very true. In fact, I remember when they were first casting the show, I think they saw 20 groomers in the last round of casting and they felt that all 20 were such big, bold, colorful, rich personalities that they had a hard time narrowing it down to the 12 that we got. They got so many talented people submitting themselves, and all of them happened to be big personalities. GS: Catch phrases have also become popular on competition shows, such as Heidi Klum saying “auf wiedersehen” on Project Runway. Are there catchphrases besides “ready, set, groom” and “leave the dog house immediately” on Groomer Has It? JR: “Every dog has its day.” And then, “this day is” or “isn’t your day,” depending on whether you’re staying or going home. GS: The episode that I saw featured a challenge in which the groomers were blindfolded and had to

Kate Clinton: 25th Anniversary Tour

Review by Tony Hobday Ariztical Entertainment $20.95 ariztical.com

identify nine dogs. Is that a challenge that you could have aced? JR: No! Not at all! I don’t really know too much about dogs, to be honest. I have two, and I know how to keep them healthy and stuff, but as far as my vast knowledge and skills with other breeds, I found myself to be quite inept when it came to knowing anything about other breeds other than my own dogs. But the show is such a great show because it does teach you about other breeds. But more importantly it’s about the experience of the groomers and the interactions that they have and the time that they share with these special dogs. GS: You mentioned that you have a couple of dogs and in the show that I saw, you referred to the clipped Yorkie Nemo, the Messenger Dog, as your dog. Does he really belong to you? JR: Yeah, he’s one of my two. GS: How did you get him? JR: It was so interesting. I really believe that dogs find their way into your life when you really need it. It was at the height of Queer Eye, I was kind of all over the place and everything was so fast and my life felt like one big tornado and I was in the middle of it. I had a girlfriend that had a litter of mixed breed Yorkie pups and she said that if I was interested in a puppy that I should let her know. I thought, “I don’t know.” And then I went to see him and he was so cute and so tiny. She said, “I’m sure he’ll be like four pounds.” I thought, well that’s not that bad. I can travel with him. Now, 11 pounds later, he’s super tall and I knew he wasn’t going to be a Yorkie Yorkie, but he’s great. GS: What breed is the other dog that you have? JR: She’s like a four-pound blue Silky Yorkie. With her, I was a little more strategic. I actually found a breeder that I knew was really passionate about finding dogs good homes. A really nice woman who lives out on Long Island. GS: Did you have dogs when you were a child? JR: No, I didn’t and I think that’s why I wanted them now. GS: Are you aware of a gay audience, not just for Groomer Has It, but for Animal Planet, as well? JR: Yeah. You know what’s interesting is that Queer Eye had very small gay audience. Our show didn’t appeal to the mass-market gay audience. We had a hard time drawing them in. A show like Groomer Has It, because it’s competitive and it has gay contestants, and there’s a lot of creativity involved, I think it will appeal to a gay audience and I think they will tune in. I think it will be appointment television for a lot of people, but I certainly think gay people will find a lot in the show to adore. GS: Now that Queer Eye is a thing of the past, how do you look back on the experience of that show? JR: During, it was really difficult doing [it],

2 8 | Q S a l t L a k e | i s s u e 1 0 10 || aapprriill 21 40 , 2 0 0 8

because it’s not something that I do. I was a performer on Broadway and that’s how they found me. They liked my ability to capture an audience. But I can’t say that I was equipped, nor did they really have a defined outline of what my role was going to become. So I felt a little ill at ease when I was doing the show because everyone else was truly professional in their fields. If I had been billed as “Jai — actor-singer,” then it would have been different. But with the “culture” title, it was a lot to live up to as a 23-year-old. Certainly it was a difficult and challenging experience, but when I look back now, I’m grateful for the time because it taught me how to be a producer/host. We were in charge of cultivating our own segments in association with the producers there. I mean, I have an Emmy on my mantle from the show. So I do look back on the show with very positive memories, But during, I remember it being very difficult. It was a lot of hard work, and often times more challenging than I thought work should be. But now I feel that the time on Queer Eye made me a stronger host and certainly a host who thinks about all aspects of how this is going to translate in the final product. GS: With the presidential election on everyone’s minds, what kinds of dogs do you think that the three main candidates — Hillary Clinton, John McCain and Barack Obama — resemble? JR: Ooh! This is interesting. McCain, I would say that he is like a Labradoodle. The ultimate white dog, totally. I don’t think he’s snobby at all; he’s got a nice way about him. I’m not going to make him a (purebred) poodle, because he’s got a little Lab in him, kind of playful. I think that for Obama, a German Shepherd or something, because he seems really smart and intuitive. [For] Hillary Clinton, I’m going to say ... Hillary’s a hard one, because I like her. She’s been in the spotlight and the media for so long, and I think she’s been a fantastic senator for New York, and was a real wife under pressure in some tough situations. I have a lot of respect for her and trying to relate her to a dog is kind of hard, but if I had to pick one, I’d have to say something all-American that everyone would bend down and pet because of the all-around likeability factor. I would say a Cocker Spaniel, a really fun all-American dog that gets along with everybody. Q

A 65-minute romp celebrating political comedian Kate Clinton’s 25 years as a performer. The “roadside blond” shares personal moments during the 50-city tour including rare interviews, a reading from her book What the L?, and a tender backstage segment with her longtime partner. Excerpts from the 25th Anniversary Tour: It’s Come to This! highlight some outrageously funny material. Her breezy attacks on health care, the Catholic church, President Bush and of course, “menstrual standards” are howling. She claims she’s an “American impressionist,” and it’s all too true as her impressions of the president and European correspondent Sylvia Poggioli are dead on.

The Big Gay Sketch Show: Season 2 Logo Entertainment,

$19.99 avail. April 29 logoonline.com

Logo announced the DVD release of The Big Gay Sketch Show: The Complete Unrated Second Season, on April 29, 2008. Produced by Rosie O’Donnell, it is a quasi-traditional half-hour comedy show featuring original characters and satires of popular culture with a unique gay perspective. Popular sketches include spoofs of Paula Deen and Liza Minnelli, and parodies of I Love Lucy and The Facts of Life, told with a queer twist.

In The Blood

Review by Lewis Tice TLA Releasing, tlavideo.com $19.99 avail. April 29

Cassidy, a handsome and intelligent college senior, is just beginning to secretly explore his attraction to men. Testing the waters, he makes a date with Victor, a sexy Latino hustler. Their initial foreplay instigates strange and disturbing visions of his sister Jessica covered in blood while a serial killer roaming the campus is targeting blond, virginal girls just like her. As the visions become more frequent, Cassidy realizes that he must completely embrace his gay desires if he is to crack the mystery. First-time director Lou Peterson’s In the Blood is an enjoyable supernatural thriller that will keep you guessing until the end.

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Q Puzzle

Embracing Billie Jean

45 Bygone queen 51 Setting of Sal Mineo’s Exodus 54 Carries on Part of her name is placed within phrases 55 Tab Hunter’s bloopers? to change meaning 58 Steady guy Across 61 Big name in the 1 Key West storm Bears’ hometown prelude 62 What Sam twitched 5 Go lickety-split on Bewitched 10 La ___ aux Folles 63 Arab head 14 Diva’s piece 15 Score for Billy Bean 64 Dangerous emission for Tin Man 16 Cumming on The L 65 Love of Lesbos Word 66 Starting scale notes, 17 Actor Adams for Maria 18 Train that comes 67 Came before quickly 68 Longs, to a Samurai? 19 Diana of The Avengers Down 20 Proposing marriage 1 Bite at a GLAAD gala in Massachusetts? 2 Come to mind 23 Parts of hard heads 3 Pleasured orally 24 “A Couple of Guys” 4 With 47-Down, having panels sex with a blues icon? 28 When queening usu- 5 Do Austin Powers ally occurs 6 A little, to Leonard 31 Lip-smacking Bernstein 32 Cut it 7 What Southern Voice 35 Did Rex Reed’s job editors do to text 36 Engaging a Harper 8 Lurer of phallic fish Lee character? 9 Works of Tennessee 41 Discharge from the Williams military 10 Rio festival 42 Delivered a mouthful, 11 He knocked out many perhaps men 43 Filmmaker Kenneth’s 12 Type of reflex test for family WWII soldiers

Cryptogram A Cryptogram is a puzzle where one letter in the puzzle is substituted with another. For example:

ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! Has the solution: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! In the above example Es are all replaced by Cs. The puzzle is solved by recognizing letter patterns in words and successively substituting letters until the solution is reached.

This week’s hint: Y = S Theme: Why did the blond Heather take a ladder to Club Try-Angles?

You ouebz zbrtjy gubu at wou oafyu. ___ _____ ______ ____ __ ___ _____.

13 W. H. Auden’s tongue 21 Top-secret org. 22 Lammy, for one 25 Grace ___ 26 Joel of Cabaret 27 Site of Gay Games VI (abbr.) 29 1,101 to Caesar 30 Many, many moons 33 Org. of athletes that Sheehan doesn’t swing with 34 Author Marcus 36 Ruination 37 Poet Broumas 38 Kiss Me Kate opening 39 Land of Margaret Cho’s ancestors 40 Woodworker’s tool 41 ___ Francisco 44 You wear it with a thong down low 46 Leather sticker 47 See 4-Down 48 Pay no attention to 49 Liam of Kinsey 50 Evaluate asses? 52 Emulate Toller Cranston 53 Like some baths 56 Straight, in a bar 57 Sandwich for Socrates? 58 ___ death (loss of interest) 59 Oddball comedian Philips 60 Earhart’s medium

Anagram An anagram is a word or phrase that can be made using the letters from another word or phrase. Rearrange the letters below to answer:

Name the Latin Night sensation celebrating its 2nd anniversary.

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S E E K I N G G AY r o o m m a t e to share a 3 bdrm house. You would have your own bedroom with free wireless internet and cable TV. Gas & Electricity are NOT included. Call 654-4286 after 6pm and ask for Karl or email sekondgoaround@hotmail.com $495 HOLLADAY home w/pool (1680 E Fieldcrest Ln) All utilities paid, Cable and internet included. Garage space available for additional $50 per month. Non-Smoking, must be pet friendly (I have a small dog that loves to love people). Very private spacious home with a great yard and pool to relax in. Male/ female doesn’t matter. Must be gay friendly. Please call 801-4147303 WANTED! GAY-FRIENDLY M/F roommate. Private bed/ bath. $600/month utilities included. Common areas furnished. W/D in unit. Pool & hot tub in complex. Fort Union Area. NO PETS! Contact Dan 801.358.9239

HELP WANTED

PRIDE FESTIVAL Volunteers Needed Sat June 7th – Sun June 8th. 3-hour shifts. Free admission on day of service, Free 2008 Festival volunteer T-shirt. Must apply online at www.utahpride. org ALL KINDS of jobs available. Temp, temp to hire. Immediate need. All pay ranges. Contact Steve Whittaker 801-463-4828.

PETS FOR SALE

CUTE FEMALE Yorkie Puppy for sale. She is good with kids and all other animal as well,She is so sweet, playful and smart! she likes to cuddle and is soft you won’t want to let her go. Healthy, A guarantee of health. Champion Bloodlines from USA. Maureentiffy@yahoo.com.

CUTE FEMALE Yorkie Pup for sale. Parents are champions from known kennels.Healthy, lots of wrinkles, big head and big chest. A guarantee of health. Champion Bloodlines from CA. Brendarhnd@yahoo.ca PUREBRED, GRAY, 1-year-old male Schnauzer for sale. Nice temperament, housebroken. Neutered and up-to-date on all shots. $250 Call 801-860-2682

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a pril 2 4 , 20 0 8 | issue 101 | QSa lt L a k e | 35

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Photographer Laurie Kaufman caught the action at the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire’s ICP Ball at the Trapp Door ▼

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ARIES (Mar 21 - Apr 20)

Proud Rams are seeking quality in any form and turn their attention to the bottom line when Sun enters Taurus. Spending your pennies on luxury has itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rewards, I suppose, but donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t spend it recklessly. Get your moneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worth with every indulgence. Admirers beat a path to your door. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t forget to keep a light on and dust off the welcome mat.

TAURUS (Apr 21 - May 21)

All eyes turn to you. Queer Bulls may look like deers caught in the headlights but will manage to charm even the crustiest of observers. Step into the spotlight of center stage, show them your stuff and bask in the accolades. Go with the glow by launching new projects and meeting new important folks. Your personal stock is at an all time high. Sell!!

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GEMINI (May 22 - Jum 21)

Puzzle Solutions

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Is it true that gay Twins have psychic capabilities? As Sun enters Taurus, spiritual and mystic thoughts manifest and flow. Set your cosmic course full steam ahead and dump all that stinky garbage out of your closet and into the cosmic trash heap. Suddenly you have the extra energy to get ahead of the curve and get on top of things. Ainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t liberation grand?

CANCER (JUN 22 - JUL 23)

Life heats up with Sun in Taurus. Gay Crabs catapult themselves into the social swirl with a vengeance and make the most of any platonic relationship. The fates, however, have other plans beyond the playground. Your professional possibilities hit new highs. Those in power like what they see in you. Ha! Have

LEO (Jul 24 - Aug 23)

Proud Lions can seize the professional day. Strike while the corporate environment is hot; there is no time like the present to stake your claim. You might be tempted to go off course with an offer of international adventure and travel. Perhaps you can combine both your corporate lust and itchy feet with a business trip. Take your ...ahem ... personal assistant.

VIRGO (Aug 24 - Sep 23)

May you live in interesting times queer Virgin. Things become very interesting now. You are better able to see the global picture... and you like what you see. Take your personal message to the masses comrade and spread the news! I suspect that your views will reach and appeal to a particularly appealing constituency of one. And isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t that is really all you need?

LIBRA (Sep 24 - Oct 23)

Sun in Taurus will do the trick for all lusty proud Libras with a will and a way. Your sexual stamina is at a peak so donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t go and hide. Use this feisty energy to either cement current relationships or to seek new sensual liaisons. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to mount your personal fulfillment campaign. I suspect that thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be a full surrender if you stand firm.

SCORPIO (Oct 24 - Nov 22)

Put energy into partnerships. Queer Scorps can sometimes take relationships for granted but now any affection happily given is affection happily received. Do not delay. As the week progresses you may be diverted by compliments on the job. But who will keep you warm on those frosty nights? Certainly not the computer in your cubicle, pal!

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23 Dec 22)

Gay Archers begin to feel their oats. You turn your attention to health and diet issues with magnificent results. Turn over a new leaf in time for the cruise season; the line is forming and you want to be in ship shape for any new launches. Thankfully, you easily turn up the volume on fun. How loud and queer do you like it skipper?

]

CAPRICORN (Dec 23 - Jan 20)

Even serious pink Caps are encouraged to let loose and have fun with Sun in Taurus. Jump on the party train and start the festivities. Not only are you more creative than usual, you expand your range of interests into new artistic territories. Romance is also in the air. Feel and encourage the love by tying up any loose familial strings. Set the record queer!

AQUEERIUS (Jan 21 - Feb 19)

What mischief will Aqueerians get into now? Possibly something having to do with a home based project. If you are thinking of a change of scenery, do your research and plan on moving the earth to get there. And you wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to do it alone. There are a few able bodied assistants who are there for the asking. Ask and you receive ..... within reason, greedy thing!

PISCES (Feb 20 - Mar 20)

If you feel that you havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t been heard correctly, stop the presses immediately! Guppies are suddenly making front page news to get global coverage for any tiny idea. There could be a bit of a financial upside to all of this as well as the fates warm your coffers. Perhaps a well endowed benefactor comes your way. Perhaps just well endowed.

Q Scene

2008 FABBY AWARDS

Support the Businesses that Support You These businesses brought you this issue of QSaltLake. Make sure to thank them with your patronage. A New Day Spa. . . . . . . . . 272-3900 A Touch to Heal . . . . . . . . 712-6944 A Touch to Know . . . . . . . 633-4860 BargainBanners.com The Beer Nut . . . . . . . . . . . 531-8182 Body Electric . . . . . . . . . . 699-7044 Club Try-Angles. . . . . . . . 364-3203 Dennis Massage . . . . . . . 598-8344 Denver Pride

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The Trapp. . . . . . . . . . . . . 531-8727 The Trapp Door . . . . . . . . 533-0173 We Train You Obtain . . . . 442-4863 What Designs. . . . . . . . . . 604-1227 Dr. Douglas Woseth. . . . . 266-8841 Xeriscape Design. . . . . . . 485-9374 Dr. Randal Young. . . . . . . 417-5386

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