QSaltLake Magazine - March 19, 2009

Issue 124 • March 19, 2009

Gay Weddings Weddings, Holy Unions

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Cover

A&E

Gay Weddings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16

Fabby Awards Ballot . . . . . . . . . . . .

Gay Agenda . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

B Scene. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

DVD Reviews . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Dining Guide. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Crossword Puzzle. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Comics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Cryptogram. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Qdoku. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Anagram. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Jacin Tales. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Puzzle Answers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The Back Page. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

News World. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Quips & Quotes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Local. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Qmmunity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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A World Premiere by Matthew Ivan Bennett April 3-19, 2009 | Studio Theatre @ the Rose Wagner DI ESPERIENZA is a dissection of the man, myth and self-doubt of Leonardo da Vinci, widely considered the most diversely talented person ever to have lived. Coincides with Leonardo da Vinci's 557th birthday (April 15). Featuring Kirt Bateman, Jesse Harward, Tracie Merrill and Teresa Sanderson. Developed in partnership with The Leonardo and the Utah Shakesperean Festival's New American Playwrights Project. 355.ARTS or planbtheatre.org

Q World

BY REX WOCKNER

Hillary Clinton Will Fight for Gay Rights Worldwide Meeting with young people at the European Parliament in Brussels on March 6, U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton promised to fight for gay rights on the world stage.

At a questionand-answer session, Clinton called on Maxim Anmeghichean, programs director for the European Region of the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association, after commenting on his “I Love Hillary” T-shirt.

Anmeghichean said: “My name is Max. I am from Moldova, and I am a gay rights activist. In seven countries in the world homosexuals are sentenced to death and many more to prison. A lot of gay men around the world die because of the HIV/AIDS policies that the Bush administration had that did not allow to spend money on prevention for men who have sex with men. How do you see the foreign policy of the United States changing in the coming years in the field of human rights and in particular sexual rights and gay and lesbian rights?”

Clinton responded: “Human rights is and will always be one of the pillars of our foreign policy. And in particular, the persecution and discrimination against gays and lesbians is something that we take very seriously. It is terribly unfortunate, as you just recited, that, you know, right now in unfortunately many places in the world violence against gays and lesbians, certainly discrimination and prejudice, are not just occurring but condoned and protected. And we would hope that over the next few years we could have some influence in trying to change those attitudes.”

Clinton continued: “Specifically, with respect to HIV/AIDS, we have made a very big treatment commitment, as some of you know, through our program called PEPFAR. And it is an important part of the American approach toward trying to deal with the HIV/AIDS pandemic. But we haven’t done enough on prevention, and we haven’t done enough on outreach or testing. We’re beginning to, and under our administration we will do much more. And I can only hope that we all live long enough — certainly I hope I live long enough; I think you all will — to see the end to this kind of discriminatory treatment, and recognition that human rights are the inalienable right of every person no matter who that person loves, and that’s what we should be trying to achieve.”

Larry Kramer: Lincoln and Washington Were Gay Veteran gay and AIDS activist, author and playwright, Larry Kramer, says he has evidence that Abraham Lincoln and George Washington were gay.

Speaking to the Montreal newspaper Hour on March 5, Kramer said he will reveal the details in a book he’s writing, The American People: A History.

“It’s a monster book,” Kramer said.

“It’s an attempt to put us [gay people] back in history from the beginning. No history book ever recorded anything about us, and in researching this book I found out that both Lincoln and George Washington were gay. ... I have stuff that will go beyond anything that has ever been written or said.”

Mayor Koch Doesn’t Want to Come Out Former New York City Mayor Ed Koch isn’t interested in coming out of the closet, he told The New York Times Feb. 28.

“I do not want to add to the acceptability of asking every candidate, ‘Are you straight or gay or lesbian?’ and make it a legitimate question, so I don’t submit to that question,” Koch said.

“I don’t care if people think I’m gay because I don’t answer it. I’m flattered that at least 84 people are interested in my sex life — and, it’s quite limited.”

Dolly Parton: ‘I am not gay’ Country-music legend Dolly Parton is straight, she told CNN’s Larry King on Feb. 21.

“I am not gay,” Parton said. “I have been accused of that. But I have been happily married for 42 years to the same man. And he’s not the least bit, you know, threatened by the fact that I may be gay. And he knows I have a lot of friends. But I love everybody. It doesn’t matter to me.”

Parton said gay people like her because she’s authentic.

“I think the gay people have always liked me because I have always been myself, I’m not intimidated by how people perceive me, I don’t judge nor criticize people,” she said. “I think that’s another reason they at least know that I’m sympathetic. I think all people have a right to be who they are. We’re all God’s children and God should be the one to judge, not other people. So I have a lot of gay friends, lesbian friends.”

Gay Councilman Won’t Discuss Prop 8 Carl DeMaio, an openly gay Republican member of the San Diego City Council, won’t say what his position is on Proposition 8, the voter-passed constitutional amendment that re-banned same-sex marriage in California, CityBeat magazine reported March 10.

“DeMaio has steadfastly refused to speak out for or against the law,” the publication said. His spokesperson told

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CityBeat that DeMaio is focused instead on the city’s dire financial situation.

The openly gay chair of the county Democratic party, Jess Durfee, told CityBeat that DeMaio “can’t be gay part of the time.”

“If he’s going to sit this one out, he should not be showing up at The [gay] Center and he should not be showing up to LGBT events acting like he wants to be embraced by the gay community when he’s not ready to lead on an issue that’s critical to the community,” Durfee said.

The editor of the Gay & Lesbian Times, Randy Hope, said DeMaio should “answer the question.”

“If ... DeMaio were Asian and there was a measure not allowing San Diego City Councilman Asians to marry, Carl DeMaio we would expect him to be held to the same accountability,” Hope told CityBeat.

Republican San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders and his openly lesbian daughter Lisa have taken a very public role in the fight to overturn Prop 8.

“Proposition 8 threatens the liberties guaranteed by our state constitution,” Mayor Sanders said March 4. “It undermines the fundamental rights that we stand for, and it’s been a misuse in the worst way of the initiative process.”

[Reporter Rex Wockner and Jess Durfee were domestic partners in the 1990s and have been housemates during some years since then. Wockner has been a freelance contributor to the Gay & Lesbian Times for 22 years.]

Quips & Quotes

British Prime Minister Opposes Prop 8

I am Christian. I am also ❝ for gay marriage. However,

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown opposes Proposition 8, the California ballot measure that last November rebanned same-sex marriage after the state Supreme Court had legalized it.

“This Proposition 8, this attempt to undo the good that has been done, this attempt to create divorces among 18,000 people who were perfectly legally brought together in partnerships, this is unacceptable and shows me why we always have to be vigilant, why we have always got to fight homophobic behavior and any form of discrimination,” Brown said March 5 at a Downing Street reception for GLBT VIPs. On March 4, the California Supreme Court heard oral arguments in the case seeking to overturn the constitutional amendment. It is widely expected that the effort will fail, with the justices deciding, in effect, that the right of the voters to amend the constitution is more sacrosanct than the constitutional guarantee of equal protection under the law.

The court must issue its decision by early June.

So, to the Sutherland ❝ Institute, Sen. Buttars and

members of the Legislature responsible for killing these bills: You have opened my eyes to the depth of your dark side. You have inspired me to change my status from someone who passively sympathized to one who will actively fight in the future to find ‘common ground.’”

—Salt Lake City resident Beverly vargo, to The Salt Lake Tribune.

You can have a difference ❝ of opinion over somebody’s

lifestyle but to put them in a position of threat — that’s going too far.”

—heidi Beirich, Southern Poverty Law Center spokesperson, explaining why Sen. Chris Buttars’ reference to gays as without morals and “the meanest buggers I’ve ever seen” put Utah on the center’s national “hate watch” list.

I thought that would ❝ help restore the reputation

of the state of Utah that has been dragged through the sewer by Senator Buttars.”

—Straight Sandy resident roger Carrier, discussing his proposal to build a statue of slain openly gay politician harvey Milk in the state capitol with ABC Channel 4 news.

whenever I tell any ‘openminded’ liberal person that I am a Christian, I get ‘the look.’ I imagine it is the same look that one gets when they tell a ‘closed-minded’ conservative that they are gay. Like you have an illness. … Intolerance isn’t just for the conservatives, and equality doesn’t mean reversing the roles that we currently play.”

—Salt Lake City resident Lance Garcia in a letter to City Weekly.

Seriously, I was just ❝ talking about this with some

co-workers, and I started to well up. It means a lot.”

—Brandon Burt, City Weekly writer on his blog, Brandon’s Big Gay Blog, discussing his reaction to Salt Lake City business’ support of Equality Utah’s Common Ground Initiative, an attempt to secure more rights for gay and transgender Utahns.

Polis Thought Federal GLBT Hate-Cimes Law had Passed Openly gay freshman U.S. Rep. Jared Polis, D-Colo., thought there was a federal hate crimes law protecting gays and lesbians, he said March 1.

There is no such law, although passing one is a priority of gay activists under the Obama administration.

Speaking at the First Biennial Statewide Conference of the Texas Stonewall Democratic Caucus in Austin, Polis said: “This (anti-gay hate crimes) is one of the reasons we have a federal hate crimes law, for that very reason. You know, sometimes in some conservative areas they don’t prosecute hate crimes, so we have on the books a law that allows the federal government to prosecute those if your local DA refuses to, effectively. So you might want to report it to your federal attorney general for your area if you feel threatened and the local authorities are not investigating or don’t seem to care.

You can turn to the federal government for investigation of potential hate crimes. ... (T)here is a federal recourse for that.

That’s the very reason we did it.”

At that point, Polis was informed by Texas Stonewall Democratic Caucus President Daniel Graney that gays are not included in federal hate crime law.

“Oh, it didn’t pass?” he responded. “OK. So we still need to pass it? OK. So we’ll try to pass that one for you, too. But that’s why we need it. And of course Obama supports

that, our Congress supports that, our Senate supports that. I thought we did pass it, so we will try to get that. But that’s exactly why we need it though, because in some of the areas where gays and lesbians do feel terrorized every day, the local authorities are in league with the forces of hate. And this would, when we pass it — thanks for pointing that out — give you recourse to go to the federal government to investigate hate crimes in your area.”

Audio of the exchange, recorded by the gay newspaper Dallas Voice, is at tinyurl. com/dee5t7.

Polis later told Towleroad.com that he had confused the United States with the state of Colorado, where a gay hate crimes bill passed and was allowed to become law without any action by the governor.

Polis also criticized gay journalists for reporting the gaffe and suggested they should instead focus on doing what’s best for the GLBT community.

“It’s rather remarkable to me that this is getting so much play,” he told Towleroad. “There’s no excuse for the mistake, but anyone who speaks a lot is bound to make them from time to time. What surprises me is how eagerly some people have leapt on it. We are on the same side, fighting the same fight, and supporting our LGBT community, as I was in Austin for the Stonewall Dems.”

All�The�Radio�You�Need

Donate online www.krcl.org On-Air Fundraiser March 14-22

CSA Open House!

March 24, 2009 Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) connects local community members to locally grown food.

Meet local farmers and learn how to receive regular deliveries of locally grown fresh produce.

The Great Salt Lake RC&D invites you to connect with your food and community by attending this upcoming Community Supported Agriculture Open House

GIVE said the little stream. Give oh Give, Give oh GIVE! This is Sister Dottie S. Dixon encouraging all members to GIVE generously during KRCL’s spring pledge-athon!

Don’t be scrimpin’ now kid! I mean it!!

Salt Lake City Main Library 210 East 400 South Level 4, Conference Room March 24th 6:30 pm We hope to see you there!

For more information, please call Jeff Williams at 801-557-0521 or email jeff.williams@ut.usda.gov The Great Salt Lake RC&D is an Equal Opportunity Provider “Promoting partnerships that improve and protect communities and the environment”

2009 Legislative Session Wrap-Up

by JoSelle Vanderhooft

The 2009 Legislative Session contained several disappointments for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Utahns, as well as a few surprising victories.

QSaltLake has rounded up the highlights.

Beginnings

Shortly after the passage of California’s Proposition 8, which re-banned gay marriage in the state, local gay rights group Equality Utah announced its Common Ground Initiative, a series of four bills and one policy change aimed at securing more rights for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Utahns.

The initiative was a response to a nowinfamous statement made by the LDS Church in Prop. 8’s wake. In the statement, church leaders maintained they are not anti-gay and do not object to “rights for same-sex couples regarding hospitalization and medical care, fair housing and employment rights, or probate rights.” Further, on Nov. 5, church Elder L. Whitney Clayton stated that the LDS Church does not oppose “civil unions or domestic partnerships.”

In response to these two statements, Equality Utah announced that it would run bills aimed at securing employment and housing nondiscrimination protections for gay and transgender workers and tenants; the right for same-sex partners to sue in cases of their partner’s death due to medical malpractice or negligence; the creation of adult joint

The second Common Ground Bill was withdrawn before it reached a House committee for discussion.

Openly lesbian Rep. Jackie Biskupski, D-Salt Lake City, pulled House Joint Resolution 2 (Joint Resolution to Amend the Marriage Provision of the Utah Constitution), in order to give the other, less controversial bills in the Common Ground Initiative a chance at passing. Her resolution sought to strike the second part of Utah’s constitutional ban on gay marriage, which prohibits the legal recognition of any domestic union other than a legal marriage between a man and a woman.

“Maybe pulling my bill will give some people an opportunity to really have an open mind,” Biskupski told the Salt Lake Tribune.

For the bill to have taken effect, twothirds of both the Utah House and Senate would have had to approve it. The measure would then have gone before Utah voters.

Early polling on the bill showed that a majority of Utahns did not favor it.

Wrongful Death Amendments

The first Common Ground bill that appeared before a legislative committee was Sen. Scott McCoy’s Wrongful Death Amendments bill. Labeled SB 32, the legislation sought to extend the right to sue for wrongful death to survivors who have financial ties to a deceased person, but who are not related to him or her by blood, adoption or marriage. If passed, SB 32 would have protected unmarried partners regardless of their sexual orientation.

In arguing for his bill, the Salt Lake Democrat Sen. Scott McCoy said that SB 32 was very rigidly defined, allowing partners the right to sue only if they had no surviving spouse, children or parents; if survivors elected not to bring a wrongful death action; or if survivors allowed the partner to join with them in a suit. He also noted that the bill did not violate Utah’s constitutional gay marriage ban by conferring marital status onto a non-marital relationship.

Opponents of the bill, however, including United Families Utah director Laura Bunker, Utah Eagle Forum member Gayle Ruzicka, attorney Frank Myler and Sutherland Institute member Stan Rasmussen argued that passing the bill would be the first step to having the courts legalize gay marriage in Utah.

McCoy objected, stating that Utah’s constitutional amendment prohibiting gay marriage (which voters passed in 2004) would prevent this from happening. Still, his bill failed on a vote of 4–2 in the Senate Judiciary, Law Enforcement, and Criminal Justice Committee.

Equality Utah Board Chair Stephanie Pappas speaks at a press conference announcing the Common Ground Initiative with Mike Thompson, Will Carlson, Sen. Scott McCoy and Keri Jones behind.

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Fair Housing and Workplaces

Michael Aaron

Q Utah

Amendment 3

declarations to give unmarried couples inheritance and medical decision rights; and a bill that would remove the most controversial part of Utah’s gay marriage ban that forbids legal recognition of civil unions.

The LDS Church had no comment on the bills throughout the session.

For the second consecutive year, openly lesbian Rep. Christine Johnson, D-Salt Lake City, ran a bill aimed at extending workplace antidiscrimination laws to protect gay and transgender Utahns from being fired because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. In light of the LDS Church’s apparent support for housing nondiscrimination, Johnson amended the 2009 incarnation of her bill to offer similar protections to tenants, who can be legally evicted because they are gay or transgender.

HB 267 Antidiscrimination Act AmendRep. Christine Johnson ments went before the House Business and Labor Standing Committee on Feb. 17. In her opening remarks, Johnson mentioned that the Utah Labor Commission receives about three calls each month from gay and transgender workers who have been fired and want to know what recourse they have under Utah law.

“This kind of discrimination is happening in Utah,” she told the committee. “We don’t want to acknowledge it, we want to turn a blind eye ... We think if we ignore it, it’ll go away.”

A number of Utahns, gay and straight, testified in favor of the bill, including small business owner Sue Rice, Rev. Shawn Dennison of the South Valley Unitarian Universalist Society and Brian Horne, a gay man who was fired in early 2008 after asking his employer if his insurance benefits would cover his partner.

Once again, Gayle Ruzicka, former

Rep. LaVar Christensen, Sutherland Institute president Paul Mero and others argued that passing the bill would threaten the religious rights of employers who do not want to work with gay or transgender people, and that Johnson’s bill was a precursor to legalizing gay marriage in the state.

The bill failed on a vote of 5–8, but a vote that was nevertheless not along party lines. Rep. C. Brent Wallis, R-Weber County, supported the measure. He was the only Republican to support any of the Common Ground Bills this session.

Gay Adoption

At the same time as Johnson’s hearing, a bill by Rep. Rebecca Chavez-Houck, DSalt Lake City that sought to allow gay couples to adopt children was heard by the House Health and Human Services Committee.

Although not part of the Common Ground Initiative, Chavez-Houck’s HB 288 Adoption Amendments was supported by Equality Utah. The bill, which did not make it into a committee during the 2008 session, sought to overturn a 2000 ban on unmarried, cohabitating partners adopting children.

Further, the bill would have given preferential treatment to married couples and allowed gay couples to adopt only at the request of the child’s biological parent or if the child was already in state custody.

Currently, only legally married couples and single adults may adopt.

Proponents of the bill argued that the bill would allow more children to be placed in loving, stable homes. Opponents, such as family law attorney Frank Mylar, however, said that the bill would do a disservice to children, because they do better when raised by married parents.

The committee voted 5-1 to table the bill for the session. Only Rep. Phil Riesen, D-Holladay, voted in its favor.

Adult Joint Support Declaration

The last of the Common Ground bills, HB 160 Adult Joint Support Declaration, went before the House Judiciary Committee on Feb. 18.

Sponsored by Rep. Jennifer Seelig, D-Salt Lake, HB 160 sought to allow two unmarried adults living together — whether a romantic couple or two adults with commingled assets — to apply for an Adult Joint Support Declaration. This document would give them inheritance rights and the right to make medical decisions for the adult living with them if he or she is incapable of making such decisions.

In her opening remarks, Seelig stressed that the bill was important for people who do not fit the traditional definition of family, particularly in trying economic times.

However, opponents of the bill, including Gayle Ruzicka, LaVar Christensen and Stan Rasmussen testified that HB 160 was unnecessary, because all Utah adults can make wills and advance health care directives, which confer the same rights.

Supporters such as Kim Hackford-Peer (partner of QSaltLake columnist Ruth

Hackford-Peer), however, testified that such documents could be ignored by misinformed or malicious people, including hospital staff who sometimes deny unmarried partners from visiting each other in the hospital.

The bill failed to make it to the House floor for debate on a vote of 4–7.

Adult Designee Benefits

Salt Lake County Councilwoman Jenny Wilson succeeded in her third attempt to pass an adult designee benefits program for county employees on Feb. 17.

In a 6–3 vote (five Democrat, one Republican), the Democratic majority council extended health, dental and life insurance benefits to an adult who shares commingled assets with an employee — whether a family member, roommate or domestic partner. The plan is identical to one implemented for Salt Lake City employees in 2006.

Other Bills

A number of other bills, some gayfriendly, some not, also appeared during the session. HB 225 Driver License Amendments by Rep. Carl Wimmer, R-Herriman. The bill sought to require a transgender person to undergo sex reassignment surgery before being able to change the sex designation on his or her driver license. Wimmer abandoned the bill early in the session.

Two other bills that would have been helpful to gay and transgender Utahns died later in the session. The first, See-

lig’s HB 17 Expedited Partner Therapy Treatment would have allowed a patient’s unmarried sexual partner to pick up the patient’s prescription for medication to treat certain STDs. The second, Rep. Lynn Hemingway’s HB 189 Instruction in Health Amendments would have given Utah public school students of all orientations information about contraceptive and safer sex devices.

he would not speak publicly on gays anymore. Waddoups also drew criticism for saying that he and other Republicans agreed with a few of Buttars’ statements. He declined, however, to say which ones.

Although several gays, including activist Jacob Whipple, called for Buttars’ resignation, the senator wrote on the Utah senate majority’s unofficial blog that he had no intention of resigning.

Gay Friends and Foes

Support for the Common Ground Initiative came from several non-gay sources this session, including various newspapers, straight allies and even the governor himself.

On Feb. 9, Republican Gov. Jon Huntsman, Jr. stated that he not only supported the initiative, but also civil unions for gay and lesbian couples. His statements drew praise from the gay community — including a large ‘thank you’ ad sponsored by Equality Utah that appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune and the Deseret News. However, many Utahns, including conservative think tank the Sutherland Institute, criticized the governor for what they saw as an attempt to curry favor with gays.

In response to Huntsman’s statement, the organization America Forever ran a full page, color ad in both of Salt Lake City’s daily papers criticizing Huntsman and Equality Utah.

The inflammatory ad by the former immigrants’ rights group accused gays

Looking to the Future

Gov. Jon Huntsman of “Consciencely [sic] ... using the LDS church’s statements as a shield to numb the public conscience of their religious duty and rights.” The ad triggered several calls of support to Equality Utah (many from straight Mormons). Several legislators who also opposed the initiative also criticized the ad’s rhetoric.

Sen. Chris Buttars, however, received the most local and national attention for his anti-gay remarks. On Feb. 18 documentary filmmaker Reed Cowan released footage of an interview with Buttars in which the West Jordan Republican called gays a threat to America and the “meanest buggers” he knew and accused them of engaging in “pig-sex.”

Buttars’ remarks made headlines across the nation. In a press conference, Senate president Michael Waddoups, R-Taylorsville, said that Buttars had been removed from the Senate Judicial Committee because he violated an agreement with Republicans that

Although the Common Ground Bills failed this session, Equality Utah said they are not finished with the initiative. In the months leading up to the 2010 legislative session, Mike Thompson, Equality Utah’s executive director, said the group will work on educating Utahns about the initiative, supporting fair-minded candidates running for office, and work to pass laws protecting gay and transgender people in city and county governments across the state.

Equality Utah has also asked gay and transgender Utahns and their straight allies to talk about the initiative with five people and five businesses who do not currently support it.

On Feb. 26, the owners of a triumvirate of businesses, Golden Braid Books, Faustina Restaurant and Oasis Café, publicly announced their support of the Common Ground Initiative. By the end of the session, 31 businesses had pledged their support. Q

E T A D E H SAVE T Fifth Annual HRC Gala Dinner & Silent Auction June 20 in the Grand America Ballroom utah.hrc.org M a rch 19, 20 09 | issue 12 4 | QSa lt L a k e | 7

Qmmunity

Q Utah

Town Hall Meeting

SL Women to Walk for Homeless Gay Youth

by JoSelle Vanderhooft

In May, two Salt Lake women will walk 3,000 miles across the country to raise awareness of homeless gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth.

Chloe Noble and Jill Hardman are calling their journey Homeless Youth Pride Walk 2009: A Queer Walk Across America. The pair will set out on foot from Seattle and travel to Washington, D.C. over a period of several months.

They will live homeless along the way, and spend their time interviewing and filming the queer homeless youth they meet. After reaching D.C., the two will then travel by bus to New Orleans and end their long journey in Austin, Texas.

Along the way they hope to give presentations about queer homeless youth at various gay and lesbian community centers to help raise awareness.

“Almost 40 percent of homeless youth in America identify as LGBTQ,” said Noble. “We want to help give this incredibly diverse group of queer youth a voice and a platform to stand on. Studies show that many LGBTQ homeless youth who receive appropriate guidance, support, resources and encouragement eventually become successful members of the LGBTQ community. By raising awareness we hope to inspire others to make sure more resources are available to queer homeless youth for this reason.”

Noble said that the pair is undertaking the walk to show the “deeper underbelly of the homeless community,” which includes not only sorrow, but joy.

“These kids are a family, and people don’t realize that,” she explained. “This is the first time they’ve found someone who accepts and loves and bonds with them. I want to show that duality.”

Noble added that she can sympathize with homeless queer youth because she was homeless herself at several times during her 20s. She wants to raise attention, she added, to the reason that many gay and transgender youth are out on the streets: because the streets are safer in many ways than their homes.

“I would much rather have had a healthy home where I could be reflected in that home,” she said. “But because there wasn’t that option, it was safer for me to be on the street with all the trauma that is incorporated into that.

That’s a really important message to be saying.”

On their trip, Noble and Hardman plan to upload photos, video footage of

their journey to their interactive Web site, which also contains a Google map showing their route. The two plan to blog on their journey and to update their Twitter account — a service which allows for brief, spur-of-the-moment blog posts — regularly.

After returning from their walk, Noble and Hardman plan on producing public service announcements about homeless youth. This project will be notable, said Noble, because the announcements will be put together by local queer youth (using footage from the walk) to empower homeless queer youth.

“It is our intention to unify LGBTQ youth through artistic expression, and to teach them how to become mutual mentors in a process of self-awareness and collective healing,” said Noble. “It’s an opportunity for empowered youth in the LGBTQ community to [help] atrisk youth, whether that’s creating an event or a PSA that will help ... build a

bridge between at-risk and empowered youth.”

Ultimately, the two hope their work can help put Salt Lake City on the map in a more “positive light” than it has been in the past few months, thanks to the anti-gay rhetoric of Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan, and the failure of several legislative bills that would have extended more protections to gay and transgender Utahns.

“It’s a hot zone right now and we want to use that hot zone to do something positive,” said Noble.

As Noble and Hardman prepare for their six-month journey, they are currently accepting donations of items including wool socks, camping supplies, iodine drops and nonperishable, noncanned food items such as jerky or dehydrated food. For more information about donating items, contact Chloe Noble at noble.echo@gmail.com.

The walk’s Web site is pridewalk2009.com.

Tammy Baldwin, Thelma Houston to Appear at 2009 HRC Utah Dinner “Now, more than ever, it’s important for supporters of LGBT equality to ‘Speak the Truth.’” says Bruce Bastian. Nothing could be more true.

Therefore, this is the theme for the 2009 HRC Utah Gala Dinner & Silent Auction.

Though the event will remain true to its purpose since its inception five years ago — building bridges Thelma Houston between communities and foresting communication to obtain the ultimate goal of securing equal rights for all — it will be moved this year to the grand ballroom of the

8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 12 4 | M a rch 19, 20 09

Grand America Hotel in downtown Salt Lake City.

As in previous years, there will be no limits to it extravagance, either. Starting at 5pm on June 20 is a VIP reception, followed by a silent auction and general reception at 6pm. A fabulous dinner will be served at 7pm, which will include presentations by keynote speaker Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin, D-Wisconsin, and Joe Solmonese. Plus, special guest and Grammy winner Thelma Houston will entertain the crowd. Also Jim Dabakis and Stephanie Pappas will be honored with the Equality Awards.

Rounding out the evening is an after party at 10pm with a special musical performance by Kristine W., a dancepop singer/songwriter.

Tickets to the event are $125–200 and may be purchased online at utah.hrc.org. For more info contact Jerry Rapier at 801-201-9791 or jerry@planbtheatre.org.

As decided during last December’s LGBT Town Hall Meeting, such meetings will be held on a quarterly basis. Once again, representatives from a number of gay or gayaffirmative groups including ALCU Utah, Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons, Equality Utah, HRC, Log Cabin Republicans, PFLAG, Pride Interfaith Council, Proud People of Color Network, Reconciliation, Stonewall Democrats, TRANSaction and the Utah Pride Center will meet to discuss the progress they have made in the past three months and what they plan to do between now and the 2009 Utah Pride Festival.

A question and answer period will follow.

When: March 26, 6–8:00 p.m.

Where: Location to be announced.

Info: AllForOneInitiative@yahoo. com or (801) 918-6906

General Service Weekend All for One Initiative is inviting local gay and transgender people and their allies to perform service projects during the LDS Church’s General Conference Weekend.

Those interested in volunteering their time or in being team leaders should contact Jacob Whipple.

Events over the weekend will include a party at Club Sound on April 3, service projects on Saturday and Sunday and a closing party at Club Jam on Sunday night.

When: Weekend of April 3–5 Info: AllForOneInitiative@yahoo. com or (801) 918-6960

Queer Prom 2009 The Utah pride Center’s youth program, Tolerant, Intelligent Network of Teens, will present “Queer Prom 2009: So Excited” this April. Queer Prom is an annual event for gay and transgender youth and their straight allies.

When: April 18 Where: Salt Lake City Downtown Library, 210 E 400 S Cost: $5 in advance and $10 at the door. Tickets will be on sale soon.

Info: bonnie@utahpridecenter.org, (801) 539-8800 x 22.

Utah Pride Needs You The 2009 Utah Pride Festival is seeking volunteers. Twenty team leader positions are currently open.

To sign up visit utahpridefestival. org.

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M a rch 19, 20 09 | issue 12 4 | QSa lt L a k e | 9

280 West 100 North, at 7pm on Wednesdays beginning March 25.

Call or text James Bunker at 801‑735‑8965 for info.

Q Utah Gay Mormons Challenge Church on ‘Big Love’ Statement A support organization for gay and transgender Mormons, former Mormons and their loved ones is protesting a recent news release from the LDS Church which criticizes the media — including gay television writers — for portraying the church unfairly. Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons says the church is doing the very same thing to gay and transgender Americans.

In a March 9 news release, the LDS Church criticized the HBO series Big Love. The controversial show, now in its third season, depicts a fundamentalist Mormon polygamist family living in Utah. While creators Mark V. Olsen and Will Scheffer have previously stated the show is not about Mormons, the church stated that “more and more Mormon themes are now being woven into the show and that the characters are often unsympathetic figures who come across as narrow and self-righteous.”

Both Scheffer and Olsen are openly gay.

In particular, the church criticized the depiction of what the writers “understand to be sacred temple ceremonies” in an upcoming episode. In a TV Guide interview, Olsen and Scheffer said the March 15 episode would show an endowment ceremony. To portray it accurately, the two said they researched extensively and consulted an ex-Mormon who was familiar with the ceremony.

Temple ceremonies such as this are not open to non-Mormons, and only Mormons in good standing may enter LDS temples.

In response to the episode’s announcement, Mormons threatened to cancel their subscriptions to AOL, which is owned by HBO’s parent company Time Warner. The church itself said it was not calling for a boycott.

The statement also mentioned other controversial portrayals of Mormons in the media, including comedy show South Park’s episode “All About the Mormons” and September Dawn, a movie about the Mountain Meadows Massacre that many criticized for being inaccurate. It also touched upon protests of the church in the wake of Proposition 8, a successful ballot measure which rebanned gay marriage in California.

The LDS Church received national media attention for its outspoken support of Proposition 8, and its followers raised over $22 million for campaigns working to pass the measure.

“In recent months, some gay activists

have barraged the media with accusations about ‘hateful’ attitudes of Latterday Saints in supporting Proposition 8 in California, which maintained the traditional definition of marriage,” the statement read, noting that activists had even held a protest march around church headquarters in Salt Lake City.

“Again, the Church has refused to be goaded into a Mormons versus gays battle and has simply stated its position in tones that are reasonable and respectful. Meanwhile, missionary work and Church members in California remain as robust and vibrant as ever, and support for the Church has come from many unexpected quarters — including some former critics and other churches.”

Affirmation’s leaders challenged the church on these words.

“Mormon leaders need to understand that their center-stage role in the antigay campaign in California contributes to Mormons being stereotyped as, using their words, “unsympathetic figures who come across as narrow and selfrighteous,” which they so sincerely want to avoid,” said David Melson, Affirmation’s executive director.

Agreeing that the depiction of the endowment ceremony “is in very bad taste,” Melson nonetheless said the incident could help LDS leaders understand “the feelings of many of its gay members.”

“People mock LDS customs, beliefs and culture because they do not know Mormons nor understand the depth of Mormon faith. … Similarly, LDS leaders demean gay men and women because they do not know gay people (to their knowledge) and they do not understand the biology and culture of being gay,” he said. “Of course, gay people experience the harm of job, housing and marital discrimination and are resentful about Mormon misconceptions. Gay Mormons, in particular, see the harm done to families as parents reject their children — and gay Mormons are either

Qmmunity Sexual Violence Survivors

Affirmation executive director Dave Melsom kicked out or leave their faith home.”

Melson also challenged the church on its statement that it had remained “reasonable and respectful” during the Proposition 8 campaign.

“What is ‘reasonable and respectful’ about passing laws that impose religious beliefs on all people, regardless of their own personal beliefs, or using intimidation and half-truths to do so?” he said.

He also criticized the church for its silence during the 2009 legislative session, when gay rights group Equality Utah attempted to pass bills aimed at securing basic rights for gay and transgender Utahns.

“LDS leaders regularly state that they have nothing against gay people having civil rights like job protection, housing protection and freedom from violence, but when recent legislation providing these rights came to the Utah legislature, the church, which holds vast political influence in Utah, maintained a public silence, and no legislation passed.”

SUU Students to Protest Monson Gay and allied students at Southern Utah University have announced they will hold a peaceful demonstration on May 2, during LDS Church President Thomas Monson’s commencement speech.

Ashlie Meredith, president of the school’s Queer-Straight Alliance, told The Spectrum that the group and several graduating seniors who disagree with the university’s choice of Monson for graduation exercises have been meeting over the past few weeks to discuss staging a peaceful protest. She added that the protest includes not only gay students, but students from several multicultural and interfaith organizations on campus.

Meredith also noted that the students’ demonstration would be separate from those of other organizations who also disagree with the choice of Monson. One such organization, Common Ground South, has recently sent out a press

10 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 12 4 | M a rch 19, 20 09

release asking alumni and other concerned citizens to demonstrate against the church’s refusal to back Equality Utah’s Common Ground Initiative, a set of four bills that sought to give gay and transgender Utahns more legal protections.

The bills, which included fair workplace and housing laws and probate rights, all failed to pass in the 2009 legislative session.

In previous media releases, SUU administrators said they picked Monson to speak at commencement to encourage discussion and debate among students.

They told the paper that they are “working with the [demonstrating] groups to accommodate a peaceful solution.”

Meredith said she has invited Monson to attend an alliance meeting and speak with its members.

The Rape Recovery Center, the Utah Pride Center and the LGBTQ Affirmative Therapists Guild of Utah will sponsor two evenings sessions on sexual violence as it effects gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning people. Topics to be covered will include the impact of sexual trauma on relationships, mental health, and sexuality; how to support a loved one who is a survivor; and resources for survivors and their loved ones. Licensed Clinical Social Worker Robin Friedman and Donna Hawxhurst, Ph.D. will conduct the session.

Survivors, partners, spouses, family and friends and the general public are welcome to attend.

When: March 26, 6:30 – 8:00 p.m.

Where: Salt Lake City Main Library, 210 E 400 S, Meeting Room C. Info: (801) 467-7282 or ­raperecoverycenter.org.

Cost: Free

Help Needed at Farm Are you handy with a hammer? Do you have a knack for mending or putting up fences? Painting? Can you clean stalls, rabbit pens or goat pens? Are you able to help vaccinate animals? Do you like to brush or exercise horses? Would you like to spend time with the bunnies that need to be socialized? These are all ways that you could volunteer your time and energy to help the animals at Ching Farm Animal Rescue & Sanctuary in Alpine, Utah. Since 1998 the farm advocates for farm animals through rescue, education, adoption and placement services.

INFO: Crystal Hammer, 801-941-6580 or chingsanctuary.org

Psychological Effects of Marriage Amendments A research team will hold a presentation about the negative psychological effects of anti-gay marriage amendments on gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people, their families and friends. Jenny Arm, a member of a gay research team, will present the findings of three 2006 studies focusing on the impact of constitutional amendments banning gay marriage on individual queer people and families with at least one member who identifies as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender.

Arm will also present strategies for coping with the negative psychological impact of these amendments.

When: March 24, 7:30–8:30 p.m.

Where: Utah Pride Center, Multipurpose Room (361 N 300 W) Cost: Free

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Warm Weather is Coming!

Rep. Christine Johnson is ‘SexyPants’ A prominent gay and lesbian blog has named openly lesbian Rep. Christine Johnson one of the country’s sexiest out politicians.

On March 11, popular blog Queerty. com listed its choices for sexy out politicians in a post titled “Let’s All Imagine Barney Frank When He was Sort of Sexy.” The post included a photograph of a younger Frank (one of the first openly gay congressmen) beneath this introduction: “What makes a really good politician? Is it their commitment to voters?

A sense of duty to the country? A knack for policy? Boring! This is America, where our royalty are pretty people and our presidents are actors. The key to a great political career is the ability to look both hot and authoritative — the kind of person who, with a wink and a nod, can turn the head of any 18-yearold twink. Here’s our rundown of our favorite gay political sexypantses.”

Johnson, however, was the only female “sexypantses” listed.

“For the ladies, we offer up Utah State Representative Christine Johnson,” the post read. “Honestly, our search for sexy lesbian politicians mainly taught us that the most electable lesbians seem to prefer grandma glasses and perms, but Johnson’s a refreshing exception — still pleasantly dykey (short hair), while also electably ladylike (matching jewelry!).”

“My first thought was, ‘wow, I’ve been to some of the Victory Fund stuff [a campaign to elect gay and transgender politicians], and I thought there were some really hot women there,’” laughed Johnson, who added that her inclusion on the list was equal parts surprising, flattering and embarrassing, especially as she calls the photograph the blog used “bad” and noted she wore her “matching jewelry”— in this case pearl earrings — to look “more conservative” before a legislative committee.

“What do you say to something like that? It’s just one person’s perspective, but I disagree,” she said.

While Johnson said she would rather be recognized for her intellect or legislative experience, she added, “To be in any list where Barney Frank is listed is flattering.”

She also had sent the blog an e-mail thanking them.

The post named four other politicians as “sexypantses” along with Johnson and the younger Frank: Madison, Wis. Alderman Eli Judge; disgraced Portland Mayor Sam Adams (who had an affair with an 18-year old); New Orleans attorney and school board member Seth Bloom; Falls Church City Councilman Lawrence Webb.

Blog commenters did not sound off on Johnson’s inclusion, except to note that the post’s writers had an “interest[ing] definition of short hair” (Johnson’s hair is shoulder-length). They also suggested Wisconsin state Rep. Tammy Baldwin as another “hot” lesbian politician.

Baldwin’s photo on her Web site also shows she has short hair and wears pearl earrings.

June 25–28, 2009 Save Utah Arts Festival uaf.org the Date July 24–26, 2009

Major Events of Utah Bear ruckus the Community utahbears.com april 17, 2009 Day of Silence dayofsilence.org

August 1–2, 2009 Park City Arts Festival kimball-art.org

april 18, 2009 Queer Prom utahpridecenter.org

August 7–8, 2009 redrock Women’s Music Festival, Torrey redrockwomensfest.com

april 24, 2009 rock the Folk oUT Tour, myspace.com/ rockthefolkout

August 16, 2009 QSaltLake Lagoon Day, qsaltlake.com

June 5–7, 2009 Utah Pride utahpride.org

August 19, 2009 Equality Utah Allies Dinner, equalityutah.org

June 20, 2009 hrC Utah Gala hrcutah.org

August 30, 2009 Center’s Golf Classic utahpridecenter.org

M a rch 19, 20 09 | issue 12 4 | QSa lt L a k e | 11

Q Views Letters

Editor: I agree with Equality Utah Inc. Director Mike Thompson that informing citizens about legislation which would affect them is important to maintaining the momentum gained from his group’s “Common Ground Initiative” [“Equality Utah: Common Ground Will Go On,” QSaltLake, March 5], but I wonder if the initiative’s focus on just five or six bills limited its momentum from the start.

Thompson declared the initiative was finished after just 24 days into the Utah Legislature’s 45-day session. But, at least six other bills important to gay and transgender citizens were never included in the initiative -- or even mentioned to us.

Two bills would have helped a terminally ill person with AIDS who chooses to settle his life-insurance policy for needed financial stability. Luckily, one of the bills was adopted.

Another bill would have harmed a gay or transgender student in college housing by allowing his eviction in just three days instead of the usual 30 days or more. Luckily, this bill wasn’t adopted.

But, luck wasn’t enough with other bills which would have helped the partner of a person with a sexually transmitted disease to get an ‘expedited partner therapy’ drug prescription, helped a public school to provide age-appropriate

and accurate education about contraceptives and ways to reduce STDs, and helped a state Driver License Division worker to accommodate a transgender citizen accurately and fairly when he requests a change of sex designation. They weren’t adopted.

Thompson said that “[p]eople talk

about what they’re told about, so let’s tell them.” He’s right. More people might talk about bills like these if they are told about them. There are more bills in the legislature than are dreamt of in one initiative.

David Nelson

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Queer Gnosis Yeah, But You’re Still a Faggot!

by Troy Williams

E

very minority group struggles

with how best to obtain justice and equality. Hard fact: We live in a world that privileges some people and groups over others.

In America, we believe all people are created equal; it’s just that some people (or pigs) are “more equal than others.”

The role of the social justice activist is to break apart the barriers that keep minority groups from actualizing the full rights of citizenship. The question that every minority group struggles with, is how best to pursue this objective. Some people will approach these struggles with careful caution, while others will jump in with a radical roar.

Each may be suspicious of the other’s motivations.

And there are always traps and snares along the way.

This is the situation that divides the gay movement nationally. We are split between the “radical” queers who desire a systemic dismantling of all systems of oppression, and the more cautious “lesbi-gays” who see the obtainment of conservative institutions, like marriage and military service, as the ultimate goal. The former believe that if they can model heterosexual privilege they will be at long last equal.

The latter believe that such an objective would only perpetuate the very oppression they have been struggling to overcome.

Utah is a little different. NYU queer professor, Lisa Duggan made an interesting observation while on an extended visit to Salt Lake City. She explained to me that in large urban centers with established gay communities, like NYC and San Francisco, you will never see radical queers socializing with assimilationist gays. While attending Equality Utah’s Allies Dinner, she expressed both her surprise and delight to see all the queers coming together. In Utah, she saw trannies, dykes and fairies hanging out with Republican gays and suburban lesbians. And though there are obvious divisions in our community, for the most part, she observed a unique solidarity.

The hope is that we can maintain that solidarity while we grow. Our gay community is dynamically diverse. We have conservatives, liberals, anarchists, lawyers, florists and every strange possible combination of the above. It’s impossible for us all to agree on every issue.

The strength of our community comes from our vibrant diversity. There are some gay individuals who are frightened by diverse voices. They would like to control the message and decide which voices are valid and which faces should be representing us. This is the greatest danger of assimilation.

When Mormons assimilated into mainstream America, they showed their devotion to this country by polic-

ing the margins. They decided that they could determine which Americans had value and which did not. They decided that gays were less deserving of American citizenship than they, and began bankrolling our oppression.

Could this ever happen within our gay community? Could we access straight privilege and then begin to police our own? Would gay politicians ever have the audacity to set themselves up above the fray and attempt to silence voices that make them uncomfortable?

Oh, you bet they would. They would label some activists as “too radical.”

They would try to muzzle the gender non-conforming queer, the flamboyant fag, the tranny-punk and the S&M dyke. They would argue that we must be polite, civil and non-confrontational.

They would ask white, clean-cut men to represent them on television. They would desire a sanitized and safe “face” for the gay movement. They would argue that this is the only way progress is made.

I think they are just afraid of not fitting in at the party.

But true assimilation rarely works.

Christians and Americans still think Mormons are a freaky cult, regardless of their financial underwriting of Prop.

8. And homophobic legislators are never fooled by conservative-looking queers. They can always tell the difference. It doesn’t matter if you are a respectable-looking, “straight-acting,” upper-middle class suburban doctor — they’ll always be whispering under their breath, “yeah, but you’re still a faggot!” And no matter how well you play their game or cry in front of the camera, they are still going to hate you.

I say embrace your inner fag!

Utah is unique. Fortunately, the above scenario is not where we are collectively as a community. Yet. There are assimilationist elements around us — and that’s okay. If people want to assimilate and emulate white heterosexual privilege, then that is certainly their right. I would never say that their viewpoint isn’t valid. I think all voices and approaches are important.

All people should have the freedom to live how they want to live. The problem comes when certain individuals work to impose on one another the imagined “right” way to be gay. In so doing, they model the tactics of our religious Republican oppressors.

I want the Utah gay community to always be welcoming of our diversity. I say, let all the wild beautiful voices sing out and sing loud. If we can’t bring the drag queens, trannnies, leather dads and emo genderqueers on the road to equality, then the path isn’t worth the walking.

We are all fags, dykes and misfits.

We are messy and beautiful. And I hope that every queer freak will tell their story, write op-eds, get behind the mic and throw their fat face in front of every news camera. Let the world know who you are! And if any vanilla gay coward tries to silence you, just tell them, “Sorry I pissed in your pool.” Then get back to work. Remember, they are just scared. They are human and they need to be loved, just like everyone else. In the meantime, be who you are and never apologize. Remember Harvey: “Never blend in.” That’s how we change the world. Q Troy blogs at queergnosis.com.

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M a rch 19, 20 09 | issue 12 4 | QSa lt L a k e | 13

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Ruby Ridge One Step Forward, Twelve Steps Back

by Ruby Ridge

O

I

K, ummm , how do I put this tactfully? If you are in a 12-step program of any description because you’ve fried your brain or it’s a condition of your parole — and you attend a fundamentalist evangelical church because you like the “structure” it gives you as you try to make things right before the End of Days — then petals, you are hereby banned from talking politics in the hot tub at the gym. I decree that you have forfeited your right to opine in the presence of strangers, and here’s why ...

Last week I overdid it on the elliptical treadmill doohickey, so without thinking I jumped into the Jacuzzi tub to relax my ankle (I know, I know, but just elevating it doesn’t seem to work anymore!). Anyway, it was a big mistake! I landed smack dab in the middle of some

sort of impromptu support group for recovering alcoholic, born-again Christian, divorced men.

It was just terrifying. I don’t know if they texted each other and agreed to meet there en masse, but apparently they had declared a quorum and were conducting some serious business.

So here, cherubs, are some purloined “highlights” from their conversations: The economic meltdown in the United States and across the globe is just one more sign of the End of Days.

The United States is becoming Godless and will be punished because of all the abortions and the gays.

The earth is going to be destroyed by earthquakes, famine, fires or diseases.

Interestingly they mentioned every apocalyptic scenario except global warming, and they sounded pretty convinced the annihilation of the planet

MARCH 20

1 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 12 4 | M a rch 19, 20 09

would be fairly soon, so I’m debating whether I should go to Jiffy Lube for my regular oil change this week or just let it go for a few thousand extra miles. You know with the Rapture and everything, it could be a bit of a waste, especially if I spring for the higher grade synthetic oil, which is so expensive and I’m never really sure if it makes that much of a difference or if they are just selling me a line of BS. And it’s the same thing with the air filter. It never looks that dirty, but they act completely mortified like it has coalminers’ black lung or something, so you feel guilt-ridden and obligated to replace it ...

Wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, the wrath of God thing, I remember. Sorry.

So in the middle of all of the pious talk about God and Judgment Day there were these charming little oh-so-Christlike rants about how ex-wives are evil, manipulative shrews who only exist to extort child support, and to drive these men to drink, drugs and justifiable domestic violence. My head was spinning from trying to link these conversations into a cogent philosophy that could contain all of the irony. Because in their minds, they couldn’t see any dissonance at all.

And then there was my personal favorite rant of the day. According to one of the chlorinated oracles, Barack Obama will not give up his new NSA-approved Blackberry because it’s untraceable and he uses it to communicate with William Ayers!

No, I’m not kidding. They were absolutely serious. And this topic started a whole thread about how Ayers gave Obama his political start. Obama owes Ayers, so Ayers is setting the government’s agenda and he wants the Pentagon dismantled; and there was something about Cuba that went completely over my head. Oh, and the liberal media is saying nothing about any of this. At that point, my mind had imploded into mush and was clogging the pool’s filter.

Pumpkins, let me explain where I’m coming from. I completely admire folks with addictions who try to better themselves by committing to 12-step programs, support groups, and the black and white surety of Old Testament religion.

I appreciate how hard it must be holding on by a thread and being surrounded by constant temptation. But when all of your coping strategies overlap into an all-consuming paranoia fest, then leave it at home (or go wallow on talk radio where its normal), and spare the rest of us your tortured logic and opinion, OK? You’re scaring the children and small dogs, and driving the rest of us to drink.

Ciao, babies!

You can see Ruby Ridge live and in person at 3rd Friday Bingo (7:00 p.m. every Third Friday of the month) at First Baptist Church (777 S 1300 E in Salt Lake City). You can check out her appearances and schedule at thirdfridaybingo.com. Holler!

Snaps & Slaps SNAP: Harvey Milk Statue Guy Straight Sandyite Roger Carrier is fed up with Utah being the laughing stock of the nation (again!) thanks to Rep. Chris Buttars’ big, foul mouth. To help restore our state’s reputation and to show support for its gay and transgender citizens, Carrier has proposed the creation of a memorial to assassinated San Francisco public official Harvey Milk on the Utah State Capitol — a plaque for the time being, but perhaps an actual bronze statue at a later date. Carrier wrote in a letter to the Daily Utah Chronicle, the University of Utah’s student paper: “We need to make sure our children and grandchildren know that many people stood up in defense of these generally kind and honest people, who even now are making wonderful contributions to our state.” Of course, it’ll never happen — at least not with a legislative majority who think calling gays immoral terrorists and “mean buggers” acceptable conduct. Still, we like the idea. We suggest putting the memorial on the Capitol’s second floor, right next to the statue of Brigham Young.

SLAP: More Legislative Stupidity Don’t they ever get tired of being wrong? On their way out the door this session, the Utah legislature managed to kill two more bills that could have provided some help not only to gay people, but to all Utahns. The first was aimed at making public school sex ed programs more comprehensive (i.e. not pretending every kid in the class will practice abstinence).

The second would have allowed a patient’s nonmarital sexual partner to pick up his or her prescription drugs if these drugs treat gonorrhea or chlamydia. At a time when these and other sexually transmitted diseases are ravaging more and more Utahns each year (especially young women), the legislature cannot afford to keep looking the other way because sex offends their delicate morals. Oh well. At least our blood pressure can go down a little now that the session is over.

SNAP: General Service Weekend What’s even better than disproving a fear-mongering e-mail about gays crashing April’s LDS General Conference? When the gays spend the weekend cleaning up parks and helping the elderly shop for groceries instead. If only the people behind the lies were so productive.

Lambda Lore The Winter of Love

by Ben Williams

R

niXon became president of the United States in January 1969 when the Vietnam War was in its fifth year. As the year began, there were no gay and lesbian support groups in Utah — or anywhere else for that matter, except for a handful of national homophile organizations. There were no social outlets for homosexuals to speak of outside of the women’s softball leagues, which were primarily meeting place for lesbians.

Only two bars served the closeted homosexual community in Salt Lake City at that time: the Radio City Lounge for men and the Broadway Lounge for women. In Ogden there was also a bar called the Court. And while not officially a gay bathhouse, the Wasatch Springs Public Bath House and Plunge on Beck Street serviced a fairly large, closeted homosexual clientele.

Outside of the bars there were no public places for gay men to meet. City parks, theaters and public buildings were largely cruising areas rather than gathering places. The places that saw the most activity were Pioneer Park, Liberty Park, Memory Grove, the Greyhound Bus Terminal, the State Theater, the Deseret Gym and the Salt Lake City Library. The “skid row” section of Second South along Third West to Fifth West, South Beach of Great Salt Lake and the Esquire Adult Theater were also popular cruising places.

As for gay publications, the only “gay” magazine accessible in Utah was the Los Angeles Advocate which in January had changed its name to simply the Advocate. If you were lucky and well-connected, you might have ben invited to a private party at someone’s ichard

home or apartment. Coats and ties were the appropriate attire for these swishy cocktail soirees.

In February 1969, then-BYU president Ernest L. Wilkinson, concerned about the growing homosexual conduct of his students, instructed all campus bishops and stake presidents to report any student who confessed “unacceptable conduct” to university authorities.

This was a way, he said, of “eliminating students who do not fit into the culture of BYU so those who would fit into it might be admitted to the institution.”

With Wilkinson’s decree, Brigham Young University, in effect, ended the confidentiality of its student’s confessions to LDS leaders. At the same time the university’s board of trustees — so the church’s General Authorities — ruled that homosexual students would not be admitted or retained at BYU without church leaders’ approval or consent.

In March 1969 the Salt Lake Police raided a private residence on Lake Street in Salt Lake City during which they seized pictures, books and movies which they considered pornographic.

They confiscated 35 reels of motion picture film, many photographs and paperback books they found in a bedroom closet, and they also arrested the owner. The man was fined $100, with a suspended 20-day jail sentence, by city Judge Melvin H. Morris.

However, not all Utah gays had their First Amendment rights violated that month. January 1969 also had the first student poem in Utah with a subtle lesbian theme published at Utah State University in Logan. It was entitled “Modigliani’s Gypsy.”

I wasn’t a resident of Utah 40 years ago, so I was blissfully unaware of all these shenanigans. In 1969 I was a senior in high school in sunny Southern California. At that time, my main worry was registering for the draft in April when I turned 18.

In March 1969 I remember sitting at my open desk while my senior English teacher, Mrs. Appy, droned on about iambic and trochaic poetry meters.

She kept tapping the blackboard with a wooden pointer, trying to teach us the rhythm of the verse. I sat as wooden as her pointer, watching the clock as it ticked along in its own cadence. I was bored. I slouched in my seat and looked up at the high slit windows.

I noticed then that a sunbeam had burst into the room. I was fascinated with how its brilliance illuminated the dust fairies swirling around within it, blissfully unaware of the conformity that Mrs. Appy was dutifully trying to rap-a-tap into us, her dullards.

I let my eyes follow the beam down, down, down — until it rested on a single boy. The golden glow highlighted his face, which unlike mine was looking at Mrs. Appy attentively. To say I was entranced would hardly describe the feeling that welled up in me; my heart felt like it was exploding. The most beautiful god-like creature I had even seen was sitting in my classroom, resting his chin on his erect fist.

I know not how long I was frozen there staring at the chiseled portrait of the boy. But it was long enough for the girl behind me to giggle and for my face to burn hot in embarrassment. No matter. I had seen the most striking Adonis, and all that time he had been in my fifth period English class! I didn’t even know his name. That would change.

Today I would be called a stalker.

Back then, I was a lovesick puppy sniffing out all the ways and stays of the beautiful boy. I couldn’t even tell you why, because I certainly wasn’t queer ... still, there was this something that had no name then, but felt so sublime.

In 1969 I had no vocabulary by which to label these feelings I had for this boy!

I quickly learned that his name was John Cunningham, a name like no oth-

er name; a name above all others, for it was his name. I also knew that I was different from all my friends. I had a secret that I could never tell anyone else, ever. I was in love with a boy. It was my greatest joy and my deepest shame. I knew that if I had any chance at becoming John Cunningham’s friend, I would have to hide what my soul wanted to shout.

I didn’t know much of what was going on in the world in 1969, but I knew that being called queer was the very worse epithet that could be hurled at you. I was in love with a boy named John Cunningham, and I could not tell a single solitary soul. My life was a cliché. It was the best of times. It was the worse of times.

It was March 1969. Q

M a rch 19, 20 09 | issue 12 4 | QSa lt L a k e | 15

Weddings, Commitment Ceremonies, Whatever You Call Them, They Are a

16 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 12 4 | M a rch 19, 20 09

Jacob Whipple and Drew Cloud:

Husbands for Life

S

David Daniels

ince November 2008, Jacob Whipple

has been a familiar face in Utah’s resurgence of gay rights activism. Under his All for One Initiative, Whipple has organized community meetings, service projects and rallies (most notably the thousands-strong protest at LDS Church headquarters on Nov. 5).

But on April 18, Whipple will take a little break from activism to marry his fiancé, Drew Cloud.

As Whipple tells it, he found true love in the pool.

On the way out of the pool, anyway.

On his way to the locker room in between water polo games at last year’s International Gay and Lesbian Aquatics Championships in Washington, D.C., Whipple — a member of the Queer Utah Aquatic Club’s water polo team — met Cloud who was on his way out.

“Time kind of stopped and it was one of those perfect moments,” Whipple recalls.

After showering, Whipple headed to the bleachers and found the handsome stranger. He seated himself a few rows away to “check him out” — and quickly found that Cloud was looking at him with the same interest. Even though Cloud was a member of a rival water polo team from West Hollywood, the two spent the rest of the day together, having lunch with QUAC’s team and then visiting the city’s monuments that night.

“We both knew the moment we saw each other and were able to talk to each other that we wanted to be together and marry each other,” says Cloud.

To be sure, the couple went on a few more dates (some in Utah, some in California) before Whipple proposed to Cloud in September. The two set their wedding date for April 11 in California, where the Supreme Court had recently ruled that gay marriage was legal.

But while Proposition 8 may have taken away their chance for legal recognition — at least temporarily — the couple aren’t letting the measure ruin their plans.

“We’re still going through with it, and our family, friends and God will be there,” says Whipple.

On April 18, the two will have a ceremony in California at sunset on Angel’s Gate Beach. The two will exchange Roland Humphrey titanium rings tension

set with black diamonds and wear custom-designed three button white tuxedos,

royal blue vests and matching neckties.

“Because we’re gay and romantic like that,” Whipple laughs.

The two will be basing their vows on those used in a traditional, Christian ceremony with some rewrites to be “appropriate for who we are,” says Cloud. For example, instead of saying “husband and wife,” the officiate will say “husbands for life.” They also hope to get members of their respective water polo teams who can attend the ceremony to play a short match before the festivities.

Although the couple will probably just dine at a restaurant with California friends on April 18, they’re looking for a caterer for the reception they will hold in Salt Lake City on April 25 at Club Jam. The two say they haven’t decided on a service yet, but Channel 2’s noon chef and QSaltLake restaurant reviewer Bryan Woolley is advising them — especially when it comes to picking a wedding cake everyone will like.

“If it were up to me, it would be some three or five-layer chocolate peanut butter fudge cake,” says Whipple.

“I agree with that extensively,” laughs Cloud. “However that will probably be the top layer of the cake, so on our anniversary we’ll be able to gorge on that.”

Their photographer friends David Daniels and Brian Gordon will photograph the festivities.

The two will, of course, keep fighting for their right to sign a marriage certificate. But ultimately, they say that their love for each other is what counts the most.

“We couldn’t be happier to be together, and we’re looking forward to spending the rest of our lives together being with the one we know God put on this earth for us,” says Cloud.

Photos: David Daniels, daviddanielsphotography.com

Holy Unions ...

Celebration of Love Marina Gomberg and Becky Elenor:

No Traditions, No Rules Marina Gomberg and her partner Becky Elenor knew they were right for each other the night Gomberg’s housemate indirectly introduced them.

As Elenor tells it, the housemate had invited her over to hang out after his classes were through for the day.

He had not told her, however, that his housemate was home and would be spending the evening with them. As the two waited in his room for him to show up, they found it difficult to ignore their mutual attraction.

“I remember feeling like there was this instant, magnetization, and I thought, ‘Man, I’ll probably never be lucky enough to have a partner like her,” laughs Gomberg, the Utah Pride Center’s director of development and marketing. “Low and behold!”

“It was pretty fast,” agrees Elenor.

“Sparks just flew. It was amazing.”

The sparks have been flying for the two over the past four and a half years. So fast and furious, in fact, that the two didn’t even need to propose when they decided to take their relationship further.

“There was no proposing,” says Gomberg. “We both had reached that point in our relationship at the same time. We were ready for the next step and that was it.”

The couple will take their “next step” on May 16, when they will marry at Memory Grove’s Memorial House. And just as their engagement didn’t begin with a proposal, their ceremony will not be entirely traditional, either.

“Because we can’t be legally married we really had to figure out what the reason was for having a ceremony,” says Gomberg. “It’s about being able to say to our friends and family, the people we care about most, that we promise to work through the good and bad times together and make that a life-long commitment.”

To this effect, says Gomberg, the ceremony will have some features of a traditional, Christian ceremony, but won’t be “as traditional as a heterosexual wedding.” Both women will be walked down the aisle by their fathers, and they will have a ceremony that retains such familiar elements as vows.

Gomberg’s godfather, an English professor at Weber State University, and Elenor’s brother, Brady, will coofficiate. “[Marina’s godfather] is writing a

poem for us, and I think Brady will kind of talk about what the ceremony means to us ...” says Elenor.

The couple also have two bridesmaids and “two brides-men.”

“We call them our homos of honor,” Elenor jokes, adding that maids and men will each speak about the couple for a few minutes and “how they see us being together forever.”

The couple will take their vows wearing what Elenor calls “fabulous dresses and heels.” Gomberg will wear a white J.S. Boutique dress, Elenor a black Ron Herman formal that her two gay brothers helped her pick out.

But when it comes time for the traditional cutting of the cake, the two may very well end up feeding each other miniature crème brûlées or chocolate truffles.

“Neither of us really likes cake,” explains Elenor, noting that bite-sized desserts and finger foods catered by Cuisine Unlimited will take the place of a sit-down dinner and the traditional wedding.

The food, the low lighting and the emphasis on candles, explains Gomberg, is meant to give the celebration a “cocktail lounge feeling” which encourages guests to socialize and have fun.

“We want a romantic, chic feeling to the event because we’re two girls and we both identify as girly,” she says.

“We enjoy femininity so that’s part of what we want to bring out in the celebration.”

Although Gomberg and Elenor worried a little about the responses they would receive when shopping for food, rings and a location, they say that everyone from the Memorial House to The Vug where they purchased their rings has been “so great.”

“Some of them have expressed interest in doing commitment ceremonies because they feel like there’s a different feel there,” she explains. “It’s more fun, that’s what I’ve gotten. More fun in that you can do whatever you want, [that] there are no traditions and no rules.”

And fun, togetherness and joy are what the couple hope their guests will experience.

“To us the tradition of marriage isn’t what we’re interested in,” says Gomberg. “It’s more about talking about or commitment and having our friends recognize that.”

M a rch 19, 20 09 | issue 12 4 | QSa lt L a k e | 17

Jason Firth and Paul Schiminsky:

For Ourselves and No One Else Paul Schiminsky met Jason Firth the very month he moved from Los Angeles to Las Vegas. After asking around where the gay scene was, he was sent to a gay country western bar and laid eyes on Jason March 29, 2005 and they have been together ever since.

While the two differ on the subject of gay marriage — Paul argues against it, Jason for — they decided to have a ceremony because of how important it was to Jason.

“Although we know it’s not legal, we decided to do it for ourselves,” Firth said. “This was a personal decision

about our personal lives.”

They decided to have the ceremony in Utah because Jason’s family and many of their friends live here. Paul’s parents, brothers and sister flew out for the event.

“We like to ski and many of our friends and family do as well, so it made a lot of sense to do it in Utah,” Paul said.

In all, about 90 people watched the two exchange vows at Deer Valley. The event was planned and much of the detail work taken care of by the staff at Deer Valley.

“We just turned it over to Deer Valley,” Paul said.

The couple went to Logan, Utah for their rings.

“Jason’s parents had bought their rings for their 50th anniversary when they got married, and we went to the same jeweler and we couldn’t have had a more positive response,” Paul said. “In fact, everyone in Utah was extremely pleasant to work with.”

Jason’s brother, an LDS bishop, emceed the ceremony.

“We made it clear to everyone that he was not performing the ceremony — that we were marrying ourselves,” Jason explained.

Photos: Mitchell Burt, ZumaPhoto, zumaphoto.com

1 8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 12 4 | M a rch 19, 20 09

Same sex couple cake toppers

Fabulous People Babs De Lay: The Woman Who Loves to Make Married Couples Happy

M

ost people know Babs De Lay

as a realtor and owner of Urban Utah, an outspoken advocate for women, and a thespian who gives the best and most hilarious performance of “The Woman Who Loved to Make Vaginas Happy” from Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues Utah has ever seen.

But not as many know about another part of De Lay’s life: performing marriage ceremonies. Since the 1980s she has performed over 500 weddings and funerals for gay couples, lesbian couples, straight couples and sometimes even feline couples.

Initially, De Lay became a licensed minister in Nevada during the 1980s so she could perform funerals.

“Everyone was dying of AIDS and nobody would bury them,” she says.

And how did she turn from serving at gravesides to serving at the altar?

“People stopped dying.”

Although De Lay still performs funerals (“it’s a different energy,” she explains), these days couples mostly ask her to do marriage ceremonies. While she can perform the traditional, Christian ceremony that many think of when they hear the word “wedding,” De Lay says she is mostly asked to perform a ceremony called a handfasting.

Practiced most often by wiccans and those who identify as pagan or neopagan, handfastings are marriage or betrothal ceremonies where the couple’s hands or wrists are bound with cords, either by friends or by the officiate. These ceremonies come from preChristian Northern Europe, and can be used on a couple or on a group for polyamorous weddings. While partners in a handfasting can vow to remain together indefinitely, some forms of the ceremony require the partners to renew their vows regularly.

“The beautiful thing about [these] handfastings and pagan ceremonies is that every year you have to renew the ceremony, or you part as friends,” De Lay explains. “You don’t have to have anyone present; it can be a private ritual or it can be a reaffirmation of vows. I do that. I’m now on my fifth year with a couple. We meet at Burning Man or in Seattle and re-up their vows.”

Although De Lay admires the beauty of the handfasting ceremony, she notes that she can perform other ceremonies for couples and groups.

“Some people want the element of God, Jesus or Buddha in the ceremony, or the powers of the universe, or the beings of the Earth and Sky to be present,” she says. For these, De Lay says she provides the couple with similar

ceremonies she has written and lets them take things from there.

“I allow people to write their own vows,” she says. “A lot of people want to write their own poetry or songs. They always want to say something about their partner, so we give them a lot of leeway on that.”

She will also meet with the couple or group before the marriage to help them plan the ceremony, and to assist them with such common questions as finding an inexpensive place to hold the ceremony and will allow them to bring their own food and beverages.

“It’s kind of a challenge sometimes, to save money on a wedding,” she says.

De Lay also notes that she has co-officiated ceremonies with LDS bishops, rabbis, Unitarian ministers and other clergy members. She does this typically, she says, when marrying a couple from two religious backgrounds — a Mormon and a pagan, for example.

Whatever the ceremony, De Lay says she gets a lot of requests to marry couples, triads and groups during Burning Man, an annual celebration of art and counterculture in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert, named for the torching of a large wooden effigy at the end of the festivities. At these ceremonies, De Lay remarks that people are often naked or dressed in outlandishly creative costumes Burning Man is famous for.

However, not all of De Lay’s unusual ceremonies take place in the Nevada desert. She has performed ceremonies for cats, ceremonies where dogs served as ring bearers, and ceremonies in the strangest locations imaginable.

“I’ve done one on a platform on a pool where the platform wasn’t put together very well,” she says. “As we hurried the ceremony along we worried we would fall in.”

Whatever the ceremony, whether the couple is straight, gay or a threesome, De Lay says that they all have one thing in common.

“People are nervous,” she notes.

“They have family and friends involved and want it to go perfectly without flaws. But usually something will happen. Somebody will faint. The most common thing is the little children that carry the rings lose the rings. We have always found the rings, but it’s usually a panic when you have to stop the ceremony and find the trail the children have left.”

Whether she’s performing a handfasting, officiating next to a rabbi, or marrying a Burning Man couple who exchange cock rings, De Lay says she loves every ceremony over which she presides.

M a rch 19, 20 09 | issue 12 4 | QSa lt L a k e | 19

Bachelor/bachelorette party games, gifts & decor same sex wedding cards

Open Daily from 10am–9pm 878 EAST 900 SOUTH • 538-0606 “Each one is different, each one is beautiful.” Q For more information, contact De Lay at babs@urbanutah.com.

So, You’re Gonna Get Married. Who Ya Gonna Call?

Decided on the big day and now need to figure out who will actually perform your ceremony? Here is a list of officiants who will be happy to perform your ceremony:

Rev. Connie Anast 801-604-0341

Dee Bradshaw 801-595-0052, www.slcchurch.org

Babs De Lay 801-595-8824

Rev. Sean Parker Dennison 801-944-9723 www.svuus.org

Rev. Steve Ford 801-739-6657

Rev. Erin Gilmore 801-277-2631, www.holladayucc.org

Utah’s Gay Yellow Pages Closes in a Few Days Now, more than ever, it is time to advertise directly to Utah’s gay and lesbian community.

Rev. Tom Goldsmith 801-582-8687 www.slcuu.org

Rev. Sarah Lammert 801-394-3338 www.uuco.org

Rev. Leesa Myers 801-824-0774, interfaithcelebrations.com

Rev. Belinda Perry 801-391-2501

Rev. Lydia Trettis 801-295-9645

Utah’s gay and lesbian yellow pages

801-649-6663 info@theqpages.com

Jedi Available for Gay Weddings Rev. Steve Ford will marry you and your partner while wearing Jedi robes, or even a Darth Vader costume that is a perfect replica of the one actor David Prowse donned in Star Wars.

Or, if you prefer, he’ll wear a suit and tie.

Although Ford likes weddings to be fun, his Jedi robes aren’t a costume, a joke, or science fiction camp. Ford is a member of the Temple of the Jedi Order — also known as Jediism — an online-based church that has members across the world. He is also Utah’s only licensed Jedi minister.

Although the church takes its name from George Lucas’ Star Wars films, the church is not about worshipping Lucas or Obi Wan Kenobi, and its adherents aren’t extreme fans who believe that they are really Jedi warriors.

“Obviously we take our name from the Star Wars film but it’s not about [that],” said Ford, a West Valley resident. “The idea that George Lucas based his Jedi on has been around for thousands of years — he just came up with a combination that hasn’t been done before. We like it, it makes sense to us, and so we adopted the name Jedi.”

Jediism as the church’s Web site, templeofthejediorder.org, explains, is a syncretistic religion — one that combines tenants of several world religions, including Christianity, Buddhism, Taoism and Shintoism. At its heart are beliefs in education, democracy, the “generally positive influence” of most world religions, and the dignity, worth and equality of all humans, regardless of age, race, sex, sexual orientation, disability or national origin. It claims as its past masters figures as diverse as Buddha, Jesus Christ, Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr. Adherents can come from and identify as any religion as well as Jediist, and the faith is inclusive of all, regardless of age, race, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, disability or national origin.

Jedi also believe in the Force — not the power in the movies to manipulate objects or shoot lightning bolts per se, but the power of creation.

“To some people it’s God or god/goddess, or Buddha, or whatever,” said Ford. “To Buddhists the force is Zen or nirvana, to Christians, God is the power of the Force. I liken it more to a way of life because when you call something a religion or a faith, that kind of condemns it to a certain predefined notion.”

True to his Jedi beliefs, Ford will marry couples of any faith or sexual orientation, in a ceremony that suits their religious beliefs. And while Utah law currently doesn’t legally recognize same-sex couples, Ford said this doesn’t matter to him.

“The state doesn’t recognize them for now ... [and] hopefully they’ll get that changed, but for me it’s a real wedding,” he said. “Sometimes you don’t necessarily need the state to recognize it. You need to. That’s what I do weddings for is to help people get together, to start the rest of their lives together.”

When performing weddings, Ford prefers to wear his vestments — ceremonial Jedi robes, complete with lightsaber.

“There’s a feeling you get when you put on a robe,” he explained. “You’re more dignified and poised, and it’s a part of what you believe. It’s something that’s a cool addition; it’s like a priest wearing [vestments].” And while he admits that some couples may like the robes for “the camp value,” he added that his robes have serious meaning, and he won’t wear them if they are considered or treated as a joke.

However, Ford stressed that Jediism is a religion that allows for fun. In fact, he has officiated at a Star Wars-themed wedding in the past — while wearing an 80 pound Darth Vader costume. True to Star Wars lore, the bride was dressed as Princess Leia and the groom as bounty hunter Han Solo. The best man came in a Wookie costume, a reference to Han’s friend, Chewbacca.

“The poor guy was probably hotter than I was,” Ford laughed. “It’s always interesting when you bring a movieauthentic Vader costume. You can’t see very far in front of you, and you’re in this helmet so all you can hear is your breathing and voice echoing. [You hope] that you catch the “I do” and the vows between the breathing.”

Whether wearing Jedi robes or a traditional suit, Ford said he is happy to help couples with everything from writing their vows, to personalizing a ceremony.

“I got into this to help people on their journey, and be that a wedding for whomever, or a funeral, that’s what I do,” he said. “I’m here to help people on their way.”

To inquire about wedding services, contact Ford at (801) 739-6657.

20 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 12 4 | M a rch 19, 20 09

M a rch 19, 20 09 | issue 12 4 | QSa lt L a k e | 21

V

I

Gay Geeks Go See This Show!

by JoSelle Vanderhooft

S

o,

geeky ones . I f you read last issue’s installment of “Gay Geeks,” you probably remember that I was raving about my friend and author Catherynne M. Valente’s sexy new urban/steampunky fantasy novel Palimpsest.

In this issue, I will rave about Quartered, the sexy folk/industrial/acoustic/rock Palimpsest companion album by chanteuse extraordinaire S.J. Tucker. You may remember her from such Salt Lake City engagements as Magpie House Concerts in 2007 and 2008. If you missed those, damn, you missed a fanfreaking-tastic show. S.J. sings like Joni Mitchell after a night romping through the Brothers Grimm.

But if you weren’t lucky enough to see her the first time, be of good cheer. S.J. will return to Salt Lake City on March 30 with Catherynne for a Palimpsest reading and concert at Bevalo, a nifty coffee shop on 123 E. 200 S. I spoke with S.J. over instant message on one of her breaks between Palimpsest concerts.

JoSelle Vanderhooft: OK, first came the albums for the Orphans’ Tales, Catherynne’s duology of original, Arabian Nights-inspired fairy tales, and now a companion for Palimpsest.

How did a third album based on Cat’s work come about?

S.J. Tucker: It snuck up on me. Cat had already let me read Palimpsest in full, for which I love her. She e-mailed me and said that it felt very strange, planning a book tour without me. She followed that with the lament that she couldn’t just ask me for an album every time she released a new novel. My response was basically, “yes, you can.”

JV: Aww. SJT: Shortly thereafter, she asked me if she could use my song “We Are Shangri-La” in the trailer for Palimpsest on YouTube. That sort of set the theme for a lot of the music I’ve been composing to go along with the book and to be part of our shared show. “We Are ShangriLa” is one of the few songs I’ve recorded to date that is electronically focused, as opposed to being made out of my usual acoustic magic. Palimpsest lends itself beautifully to both acoustic and electronic music.

JV: So in total, there are now six tracks, and two acoustic songs and an acapella piece are yet to be released, yes?

SJT: The acapella piece is the aria written for the scene at Thulium House, the opera house [in Palimpsest]. Novem-

E

W

S

ber is the first acoustic song. The other acoustic song will be for the characters Ludovico and Lucia, and I’m still writing that one. I’m going to keep writing new songs as Catherynne and I tour together. I have no idea what I’m going to get! It’s very exciting. (I love my job) JV: This is an unusual album for you, in that you are recording songs as you go, yes?

SJT: I know that I wouldn’t have approached the album this way at all if I hadn’t gotten sick [with appendicitis] in my pre-scheduled time frame when I was planning to get the album done.

If everything had gone the way I’d planned, I wouldn’t have this opportunity to keep on making new music for the book. I would have created a tidy little album of 8-10 songs and called it good.

JV: It sounds like that was the good part of getting sick.

SJT: Yeah! There’s always a sunny side.

JV: How did you and Cat decide to try for a Salt Lake show? I know you’re in Denver right before, so was it proximity?

SJT: Basically. I hate having to skip towns on a tour. I want to sing to everybody I can if at all possible. Also, I’m making an effort, in booking my own tours (no small feat), to create a show schedule, and a driving schedule that makes sense. Stopping in Salt Lake City allows us to have short driving days between Denver and Seattle, it allows me to sing for folks that don’t see me but once a year, at best, and it allows Cat to tap into a fresh crowd for herself. All

this is to the good.

JV: Tell me a little bit about the show.

It’s gonna be the Cat and S.J. show, yes?

SJT: I want it to be, very much. I’ve told Cat we can wait and decide when we get there, because this will be our first attempt at doing the Palimpsest show in a coffee shop. The Palimpsest show has evolved from the same formula as the Orphan’s Tales shows, but the nature of the music lends it further gravitas.

Also the nature of the book, of course.

This is not Young Adult literature. This is not fairy tales. We may have to adapt at the last minute at Bevalo. Iif a flock of moms and kindergartners comes in, we will pull the sex scene readings.

JV: [laughs]

SJT: At any rate, we’ve had huge success at our first three shows — New York City, Philadelphia, and Boston were all very amazing nights. They were each different, too. I know that our Salt Lake City show will have its very own flavor.

I love that we get to bring a different view of Palimpsest to each town.

JV: I promise you it won’t be vanilla.

SJT: Ha!

Want to learn more about Palimpsest?

Check out the book trailer (featuring S.J.’s “We are Shangri-La”) here: tinyurl.com/sjtucker. And watch S.J.’s Web site skinnywhitechick.com for updates on the March 30 concert. For more information call Bevalo at (801) 364-3991. And remember: Palimpsest is a steamy book, so don’t bring the little ones. Q

Utah’s Gay Yellow Pages Closes in a Few Days Now, more than ever, it is time to advertise directly to Utah’s gay and lesbian community.

Utah’s gay and lesbian yellow pages • 801-649-6663 • info@theqpages.com 22 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 12 4 | M a rch 19, 20 09

Pops

Evening at the

Keith locKhart, Conductor

What Wo e uld Kei th’s finale season b Without a PoPs concert?

From Straus to s waltzes to Sousa marches; From Beatles Big Band; iss. this will b e an event you won’t want to m

March 20 - 21 8 pm abravanel hall •

“We have a great orchestra in Utah. This is a chance to

show them off with some of my all-time pops favorites.”

coming up: Bravo Broadway • may 1-2 Season Sponsor:

visit utahsymphony.org or call 801-355-arts(2787)

M a rch 19, 20 09 | issue 12 4 | QSa lt L a k e | 23

YOUR OFFICIAL BALLOT

2009 MBOASTRSFABULOUS FABBYs

or vote online at QSaltLake.com FILL OUT AT LEAST 10 CATEGORIES TO QUALIFY YOUR BALLOT!

5th Annual QSaltLake

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Top 100 Most Fabulous People, Places & Things

MOST FABUL OUS RE STAUR ANTS BEST ASIAN

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BEST PLACE TO DANCE BEST PLACE TO SEE A SHOW/LIVE MUSIC

BEST PLAY OF THE PAST YEAR BEST CONCERT OF THE PAST YEAR

BEST MEXICAN

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ENTRIES MUST BE POSTMARKED OR FAXED BY APRIL 15, 2009.

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2 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 12 4 | M a rch 19, 20 09

OTHER

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BEST IMPROVEMENT QSALTLAKE COULD MAKE:

“

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$104,000 1 Bed / 1 Bath

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JULIE SILVEOUS

REALTOR® Urban Utah Homes & Estates 801-502-4507 (Cell) 801-595-8824 (Office) julies@urbanutah.com

www.urbanutah.com

801.747.1236 Office 801.755.1794 Mobile 801.303.9075 Direct Fax steven.simmons@chl.cc

Don’t Let Lines Give Away Your Age

358 South 300 East Salt Lake City, Utah 84111 801 819 7884 M a rch 19, 20 09 | issue 12 4 | QSa lt L a k e | 25

Radiesse® dermal filler is ideal for correcting the signs of aging or adding natural contours to the face – without invasive surgery. It also stimulates your body to produce new collagen, so you’ll continue to look more youthful and attractive over time.

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801-266-8841 www.lswinyer.com

26

Q A&E Gay Agenda Most Likely A Bad Case of Poison Ivy

by Tony Hobday

I’ve had a jam-packed past several days. The car I’ve had for a mere 10 months needed to have the battery and alternator replaced, and apparently a CV joint is going out. I’m in the early stages of hopefully buying my first house. And I just started a fourth attempt at quitting smoking after a 20-year addiction. So I’m a bit frazzled and emotionally unstable right now so if you happen to see me out and about, stop and give me a hug ... because if you don’t I’ll write something scathing about you in the next issue. Luvs!

19

thursDAY — San Francisco aerial dance company Bow & Sparrow makes their debut in Salt Lake City. Their new tour, Helos, is an exhilirating blend of dance, circus and aerial arts. The show features indoor bungee jumping, gravity-defying dance and many aerial apparatuses. Local dancers Amanda Bennion, Kasey Lundgren, Elizabeth Stich and Nancy Carter are special guest performers.

7:30pm, through Friday, Marriott Center for Dance, 330 S. 1500 East, UofU. Tickets $20, bowandsparrow.com.

20

FRIDAY — Many know Gary Vlasic as a treasured local artist with broad and varied experience in performance and visual arts. He has performed and directed dance-theatre since 1985. For his first solo show at Phillips Gallery, Gary creates abstract figures from collage and mixed media applied to vellum. Capturing the disturbing and beautiful, his work tantalizes the viewer with its many intricacies.

6–9pm Opening reception, regular gallery hours, through April 10, Phillips Gallery, 444 E. 200 South. Free, 801-364-8284 or phillips-gallery.com.

QQ In celebration of St. Patrick’s Day the theme for this month’s Third Friday Bingo is “Potato-Palooza.” In addition to the fabulous prize packages, your “Lucky Dip” into the “Cleavage of Destiny” might just win you a 5-lb. bag of potatoes, a box of instant

THURSDAY — I’m not talking about Sandyite Megan Joy, one of American Idol’s Top 13. Although Megan may too be a “sweet, unsullied” girl, I’m referring to Tanya Trucker, the favorite to win American Fork Idol.

But her toughest competition, a bad boy rocker named Bo Biceps, is also the boy she wants to turn her into a tart, unscrupulous nympho. Ryan Snoozefest hosts the show, coddles the contestants and most likely wants to lick Bo’s biceps.

7pm, through June 6, Desert Star Theatres, 4861 S. State Street. Tickets $8.95–17.95, 801-266-2600 or desertstar.biz.

27

FRIDAY — Talking about

mashed spuds or frozen hash browns.

When I sought out my destiny in Ruby Ridge’s cleavage all I got was a bad case of poison ivy and an ear infection. Go figure! Proceeds go to the Refugee Resettlement Program.

7pm, First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East.

Bingo Cards $5, for more info, visit their new Web site thirdfridaybingo.com.

QQ A former tennis player, accustomed to a lavish lifestyle made possible by his marriage to a wealthy London heiress, plans what he believes is the perfect murder in Dial M for Murder. But his plans take a turn when his wife refuses to play the part of the victim. Is anyone else thinking about Michael Douglas and Gwyneth Paltrow?

7:30pm, through April 4, Pioneer Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, UofU. Tickets $22–40, 801-581-6961 or pioneertheatre.org.

21

SATURDAY — Yes, I know St. Patrick’s Day has passed, but the partying hasn’t yet stopped. Tonight, join sWerve for their annual St. Patty’s Day Party. It’s the biggest and best sWerve party this side of Oktoberfest. Music, dancing, green beer and ladies, ladies, ladies.

Perform your best river dance for prizes ... that’s freakin’ hot!

7–9pm, Club Jam, 751 N. 300 West. Suggested Donation $5, 801-328-0255, or swerveutah.com.

22

SUNDAY — Well, this next event is the official notice of spring’s arrival ... screw the groundhog! SkiOut Utah’s final outing of the season is David Archuleta ... oh sorry! It’s their final day of X-Country skiing.

So this is your last chance hopefully until next January — but more likely this October — to join this fabulous group of winter-frolickers.

Don’t forget to pack a lunch and plenty of aqua. (That’s spanish for water, Gene!)

10am, Mountain Dell, lower Parley’s Canyon, I-80 eastbound Exit 134. Free, skioututah. com.

26 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 12 4 | M a rch 19, 20 09

American Idols, our very own ... meaning Utahn, not gay as a three-dollar bill, David Archuleta is taking full-fledged concert stage to appease his many tweeny girl and gay middle-aged fans. Having already three Top 100 Billboard hits, Archuleta’s sure to garner a few hundred more “crush”es tonight.

7:30pm, E Center, 3200 S. Decker Lake Dr. Tickets $25–35, 801-988-8888 or theecenter.com.

28

SATURDAY — I do “drag fabulous” at least three times a month with my friends BJ and Esteban (I’ve altered their names to protect their identity and my balls). Anyhoo, an even better Drag Fabulous is this event hosted by TransAction. The youth-led activist group, a voice for the transgender community, is looking for folks to showcase their talents or lack there of. Draggers, musicians, dancers, posers, wannabes, lip-syncers, etc., are wanted for this evening of talent.

7–9pm, Utah Pride Center, 355 N. 300 West.

Free, 801-539-8800 transactionutah.com.

31

TUESDAY — Frontman Justin Furstenfeld and drummer-brother Jeremy started Blue October in 1995. The five-man alternative and experimental rock band from Texas is clearly making its way to stardom. What shines over similar rock groups is the instrumentals: The heavy electric violin and viola use in their music is incredible. With hits like “Into the Ocean and “Hate Me,” tonight’s concert should be a real moody treat.

7–9pm, Utah Pride Center, 355 N. 300 West. Free, 801-539-8800 transactionutah.com.

UPCOMING EVENTS APR. 13 Fall Out Boy, Saltair APR. 14 Britney Spears, ES Arena JUN. 20 B-52s, Peppermill Concert Hall, Wendover SEP. 01 Dave Matthews Band, USANA

B Scene

by Tony Hobday

Sometimes I’m supposed to pick things I think you should do, even if I would never do them myself, which actually is mighty difficult because I’ll do just about anything. But I digress into my sexual platitudes ... Here are a few options to spend your time over the next two-week period — except for Sundays, of course.

19 THURSDAY–1 MONDAY

Showing 9am to 9pm daily at the Joseph Memorial Building is Joseph Smith The Prophet of the Restoration, a film about the life and legacy of of the LDS founding prophet. Also daily, at the Tabernacle, are short Tabernacle Organ Recitals. The organ staff and guest organists perform 30-minute recitals starting at noon.

If you’re feeling a little rebellious, raise the ban and check out the Thanksgiving Point Wedding Expo, March 27–28; dammit, why not, this is our Wedding Issue. The Point also offers culinary classes March 25–26, teaching recipes on dishes like Mormon Jellied Fruit Salad, Mormon Famous Senate Bean Soup and Scotch Scones ... hmmm!

After spending time and your gay dollars at the Point, keep heading south and partake in these gay chic events at Brigham Young University. For instance, there’s an intriguing lecture at the BYU Lee Library Auditorium called Probing the Lives of Christ and Joseph Smith on March 20 at 7pm. On March 27, the CEO Friday Forum is How to Keep Going When All Heck Breaks Loose at Your Startup, at 11:30am.

Why the hell not, right?

In the Salt Lake Valley, a couple of great options are the Tinker Bear Boutique at South Towne Expo Center, March 28, 10am–6pm. Peruse the trendy clothing, Scentsy, Usborne books, home decor, gourmet foods, baby items, kids items and more. And as if we all haven’t already marked our calendars with a big Smiley Face on National Quilt Day, March 21, there’s a huge celebration in the works at the Sandy Senior Center ... ooolala!

Any one of these many fantabulous goings-on will prepare our evil, threatening ways for enlightenment during the LDS General Conference, April 4–5.

April Fools!

DVD Reviews

by Tony Hobday

November Son

Nearly two years ago, in the small town of Racine, WI., and obsessive love between an engaged couple, Elliot and Marti, and a gay couple, Corin and Jake turned to tragedy.

That film, October Moon, by writer/director Jason Paul Collum was just the beginning of horrorifying events befallen upon the grieving families and friends of the foursome.

In the sequel, November Son, Collum brings back nearly the entire original cast including the corpses of Elliot and Corin.

However, three new characters are introduced in this film. Eli (Sacha Sacket) arrives in Racine and rents Jake’s old apartment from Maggie (Darcey Vanderhoef), a young “fruit fly,” who’s looking for renewed companionship like she had in Jake. Eli immediately settles in, landing a photography job at a local magazine and befriending its owner, Emily Hamilton (Judith O’Dea), Elliot’s mother.

Also arriving in Racine is Eli’s creepy father George (Lloyd Peterson), who also quickly settles in by dating Nancy (Brinke Stevens), Corin’s old boss and friend.

It’s difficult to determine if George is uneasy about Eli’s homosexuality or possibly his own urges when Eli catches the eye of a sexy farmhand, Red (Ashley J. Anderson).

Secrets start to be revealed when Eli’s estranged mother, Hillary (Debbie Rochon) and Marti (Tina Ona Paukstelis), who disappeared after Eliot’s death, arrive.

November Son holds its own as independent to that of the first film, and uses flashback sequences of October Moon, so it’s not exactly necessary to see the first film, first. This is a good thing, too, because even though November Son has a decent storyline and unsuspecting twist, it’s also somewhat difficult to get past the mediocre-to-dismal performances, as in the first flick.

Collum tries too hard, and doesn’t succeed, in making it a ‘horror flick;’ the film could have been much better if he simply focused on the psychological side of it.

November Son dvd release April 14 through ariztical.com.

Fashion Victims

The German comedy Fashion Victims, cowritten and directed by Ingo Rasper, is in small part a coming-of-age film. However, the bulk of the movie revolves around the destructive doings of an old-school clothing sales representative, Wolfgang Zenger (Edgar Selge). His unhappy wife and distant teenage son don’t want anything to do with him, his finances are quickly dwindling and his livelihood is on the brink of obsolesce,

which pushes him into unbecoming and outrageous actions.

Young and handsome Steven (Roman Knizka) joins Wolfgang’s firm as the sales rep of a new, younger, hipper line of clothing. When Steven starts stealing away Wolfgang’s long-time clients, it becomes a test of wits and out-maneuvering. But when Wolfgang’s driving privileges are revoked, he forces his son Karsten (the adorable Florian Bartholomai) to be his “driver.” A chance meeting occurs between Steven and Karsten, both unknowing of their respective relationships to Wolfgang. But as their attraction for each other heats up, they also learn of their awkward connection.

Though it takes more than an hour into the film, things turn comically awry when Wolfgang goes berserk after losing yet another client and when his wife leaves him with the help of her masculine, gun-wielding, man-hating friend Brigitta (Traute Hoess).

The film is not of award-winning caliber, but there’s wit and humor and dysfunction that almost anyone can relate.

Fashion Victims dvd release March 17 through ariztical.com.

What’s Up Scarlet A single, uptight workaholic matchmaker with four dogs, an overbearing mother and an unambitious, pot-smoking middle-age brother finds unlikely love in the comedydrama What’s Up Scarlet. Co-written by and starring Susan Priver, as Scarlet, is a fairly unique look at finding happiness in an uncotrollable world and within oneself.

Never thinking of her own lovelife, Scarlet succesfully brings other people together, including her mother Ruth (over-the-top actress Sally Kirkland), and her brother Ben (tv veteran actor Jere Burns). But when she becomes involved in a fender-bender with an out-of-work and homeless actress Sabrina (Musetta Vander), her quiet, lonely life turns topsy-turvy.

Scarlet offers Sabrina her couch for one night only, but the highly optimistic, bubbly and pushy Sabrina “squats” at her house — cleaning, cooking and walking the dogs.

Through much resistence from Scarlet, Sabrina eventually breaks her down and a budding romance begins. But when Ruth catches the couple in a compromising position, Scarlet reverts back to her old ways.

The mother/daughter relationship here is typically difficult, but the dysfunction sky-rockets when Scarlet calls the police to report her mother as “an intruder” in her home — the funniest scene in the movie.

The movie ends too abruptly and there isn’t closure between Scarlet and her brother after he hits on Sabrina, which makes the film slightly dissatisfying.

What’s Up Scarlet dvd release April 28 through ariztical.com.

Beatific Vision “In Christian theology, the beatific vision is the eternal and direct perception of God enjoyed by those who are in Heaven, imparting

M a rch 19, 20 09 | issue 12 4 | QSa lt L a k e | 27

supreme happiness or blessedness.” The movie Beatific Vision tries to deliver such a belief, but falls way short, almost to idiocy.

Michael’s (Michael Vega) partner Chad passes away after their 14-year relationship.

With the aid of “Angel Chad,” the heavenly voice only Michael and Damien (Joe Higachi) — Chad’s therapist — can hear, Michael learns to love again.

After Chad’s death, Michael resorts to random drug-enhanced sexual encounters with Bryan (Norm Munoz), who he meets through a BDSM Web site. But when Angel Chad directs Michael to human Chad’s mysterious black book, Michael and Damien are pushed closer together.

Beatific Vision is no visionary film; it’s predictable, almost to embarrassment. The performances are dull and painful to watch, and the ending will cause gag reflexes to jump into overdrive. Thank writer/director Sountru’s vision to only make it 65-minutes long, though that’s still 60 minutes too long.

Beatific Vision is available through filmbaby. com if you’re truly a glutton for punishment.

Check out the calendar at qsaltlake.com

Cedars of Lebanon

Dining Au Naturale Eclectic menu of quality sandwiches, wraps, sushi, sides 900 E 2100 South Salt Lake City 801-466-8888

Open for Lunch & Dinner Sundays 5–9:30pm Vegetarian/Vegan Friendly Belly Dancers Fri. & Sat. Night Free Wireless Internet All-You-Can-Eat Lunch Buffet $8.99 Catering Available

152 East 200 South HUKA AVAILABLE 801-364-4096

Bambara Restaurant New American Bistro menu w/ a “World of Flavors” 202 S Main St Salt Lake City 801-363-5454

• 25 WINGS FLAVORS • PATIO OPEN • FREE PARKING AT TROLLEY SQUARE • OPEN SUNDAY FUN DAY

OPEN DAILY AT NOON

801-538-0745

é f a C Med

SUNDAY BRUNCH IS FUN ONCE AGAIN! Ten Great Menu Items, including Omelets: Pesto, Greek, Western, Shrimp & Asparagus, Denver Breakfast Burrito Beef Steak & Eggs Pork Loin & Eggs Saffron Cream Benedict

420 East 3300 South Salt Lake City 493-0100 Monday - Thursday 11:00am to 10:00pm Friday - Saturday 10:00am to 11:00 pm Sundays 10:00am to 9:00pm

Cafe Med

Market Street Oyster Bar

The New Yorker

Squatter’s Pub

The ‘grand patriarch Brewery Salt Lake’s showcase of Downtown SLC Utah’s favorite for dining, conversarestaurants’ - Zagat microbrewery, great tion, fresh oysters 60 Market St, SLC pub menu 363-0166 2985 E 6850 S, SLC 147 W 300 S Nick-N-Willy’s 942-8870 Salt Lake City Hand made pizza Cedars of 54 W Market St, SLC 801-363-2739 you can eat here or Lebanon 322-4668 take-n-bake.

Authentic Lebanese, Squatters 10702 S river Front Armenian, Israeli, 4536 S highland Dr Roadhouse Grill Pkwy, South Jordan Moroccan, huka Salt Lake City 302-2262 1900 Park Ave 152 E 200 S, SLC 273-8282 Park City 801-364-4096 Meditrina Small 1890 Bonanza Dr Plates & Wine Bar 435-649-9868 Market Street Park City Encouraging Grill 435-658-4872 Tin Angel Cafe gastronimic Salt Lake’s finest Mediterranean bistro Red Iguana exploring in tapas seafood restaurant Best home-made tradition style with a great brunch. moles and chile 1394 S West Temple 365 W 400 South 2985 E 6580 S, SLC verdes in town Salt Lake City Salt Lake City 942-8860 736 W North Temple, 801-485-2055 801-328-4155 SLC 48 W Market St, SLC Mestizo 801-322-1489 Trolley Wings 322-4668 Coffeehouse Sage’s Cafe Coffee, art, jam Company 10702 S river Front Organic vegetarian, sessions, free Wings and beer Pkwy, S. Jordan locally grown, fresh gallery West Side 302-2262 Trolley Square under 631 W North Temple 473 E 300 South the water tower 260 S 1300 E, SLC Salt Lake City Suite 700, SLC 583-8808 801-538-0745 801-596-0500 801-322-3790 Best casual Greek/ Mediterranean dining in town 420 E 3300 South Salt Lake City 801-493-0100

To get listed in this section, plese call 801649-6663 and ask for brad or email brad@ qsaltlake.com

COFFEE ART

IDEAS

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Mon - Thurs 6:00 am to 10:00 pm Fri - Sat 6:00 am - 12:00 am Sun 7:00 am to 10:00 pm

Celebrate Your Love We specialize in enthusiastic service, stunning presentation and exceptional taste!

801.466.2537

1578 South 300 West lecroissantcatering.com

M a rch 19, 20 09 | issue 12 4 | QSa lt L a k e | 29

OPEN MIC Mondays music 8pm-10pm Spoken Wednesdays 8pm-10pm Friday night jam sessions 9:30pm-12:00am 631 West North Temple, Suite 700 Salt Lake City, UT 84116 801 596 0500 - mestizocoffeehouse.com

Mestizo shares space with Mestizo Inst. of Culture and Art (MICA). Mestizo is a community space. The MICA Gallery is open to the public and free to use.

nd at over can be fouon from ti 200 loca sGeorge, t.

S to an g Lo including all:

Q Safety Why Should I Call the Police?

by Sgt. Julie Jorgensen

T

hey don’t care.

E XC E PT S U GAR H O U S E

OTHER SELECTED LOCATIONS: (From North to South)

LOGAN: Borders Utah State Univ.

OGDEN Bookshelf Weber State Univ.

Egyptian Theater Grounds for Coffee Roosters Brass Rail CLEARFIELD Grounds for Coffee LAYTON Barnes & Noble SALT LAKE CITY All Libraries A Cup of Joe Apple Fitness ASI Tattoo Avenues Bakery Bagelry Bangkok Thai Big City Soup Brewvies Broadway Centre Cafe Sha Sha Cafe Trang Cahoots Cinegrill Club Try-Angles Club Sound Club Heads Up Cocoa Cafe Desert Edge Pub Eggs in the City Emigration Market First Unitarian Green Street Hyatts Magazines Jitterbug Coffee KCPW Studios Knuckleheads

Lamb’s Grill Liberty Heights Fresh Mazza MCC Mischievous MoDiggity’s Nostalgia Oasis Cafe Paper Moon Pinon Market/Cafe Pride Counseling Radio City Lounge Red Butte Cafe Red Rock Brewing Regency Theatres Royal Eatery SL Coffee Break SL Community College Sorenson Multicultural Ctr Squatters Pub Squirrel Bros StoneGround Tavernacle The Bakery The Center The Other Place Tower Theatre Trapp Trapp Door Univ. of Utah Urban Bistro Urban Lounge Virgin Megastores SUGAR HOUSE 21 21 Coffee Blue Plate Diner Cockers/Sparks Dancing Crane Fiddler’s Elbow Free Speech Zone Millcreek Coffee SL Pizza & Pasta Tea Grotto Westminster Wild Oats

SOUTH SALT LAKE All For Love Alternative Eyewear Bagelry Cafe Med Century Laundry LaPuente MURRAY 24 Hour Fitness Bubba’s BBQ WEST VALLEY Century Laundry Gringo’s SL Community College Wise Guys Comedy TAYLORSVILLE Coffee Club Just Add Coffee 24 Hour Fitness Beans and Brews PROVO Borders MOAB Back of Beyond Books CEDAR CITY Blue Kat Cafe ST. GEORGE Kaleidescope Cafe Xeteva Gardens

Not on this list?

Want to be?

Call 1-800806-7357 or email tony@ qsaltlake.com

It won’t do any good. The cops won’t do anything. They’ll just arrest me instead. The cops hate people like me.

Does this sound familiar? If so, I am writing to you. My name is Julie Jorgensen and I am a Detective Sergeant with the West Valley City Police Department and a member of the GLBT Public Safety Liaison Committee. My question to you is, “what if the cops are people like you?” “What if they do care?”

As a police officer and a member of the GLBT community, I would like to share my insights on police investigations and how we can get help from the police when we are the victims of a crime.

How do we determine if we are a victim of a crime? If someone hurts us or our property, most likely we are the victim of a crime. Our communities and our police departments want crime to go down and we do this by trying to prevent crime and by arresting people that have committed crimes. We use the information from the investigations to show crime trends, identify areas to focus more patrols and gather crime intelligence.

How do we call the police? We all learned 911 in elementary school. If no one is bleeding and nothing is on fire, all police departments have non-emergency phone numbers. These numbers call the same operators that answer 911; they just answer the 911 calls first.

What do we tell the person who answers the phone? It is important to understand that the person who answers the phone is not a police officer. They are professional call takers who gather specific information, enter it into the computer and send the information to the police or fire dispatcher. It’s critical that we provide the call taker with accurate information so our call for service gets entered properly. If the cops can’t find us, they can’t help us. So be sure to tell them ‘who, what, where, when and how.’

What if we want to be anonymous? We can choose to be anonymous but there could be drawbacks. It is a lot harder to press charges against someone and be anonymous. There is a chance we may need to testify in court. We also may not be eligible for restitution or other victim services.

The officer is here, now what? We need to tell the officer what happened and answer the officer’s questions.

30 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 12 4 | M a rch 19, 20 09

Cops are human. They are just like us and have the same strengths and weaknesses as any other person. My mom used to say you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Same philosophy applies here. If we are nice to the cops, the cops will be nice to us. If we call them a ”donut-eating son-of-a-gun,” well you get the picture.

The first officer who responds to our call is a patrol officer. His/her job is to investigate, determine if a crime happened, collect any evidence, interview the people that were there and make arrests. Most cases are solved or closed at this point. Any cases left active are forwarded to the detectives for more investigation.

What if we’re not out? The GLBT Liaison Committee provides training to several police departments on GLBT specific issues, including privacy concerns. Privacy is very important to members of our community and the police department. There are federal laws that regulate what information a police department can and cannot release. We should discuss our privacy concerns with the officer. In most cases, the officer can continue the investigation without revealing any information we don’t want revealed.

What if we’ve been the victim of a crime while in a, shall we say, compromising position? Embarrassment is a big reason why we don’t report crimes.

Having been a cop for over 13 years now, there is a good chance that I have seen it before, twice. The officers are required to act with professionalism.

What if we were doing something illegal at the time we were victimized?

It’s been my experience that this usually involves drugs or public sex. All of the crimes that occurred will be investigated not just the one we want to report. As an officer, I don’t want people to avoid reporting crimes just because they were getting high at the time or doing something in the bushes, but the fact is there are consequences for illegal activity.

How long will the investigation take?

Investigations can take from an hour to many years. All crimes need to be reported so we know what crimes are occurring and where. We may not be the only victim in our area and the detective could link our cases later or even prevent future crimes.

If we’re gay, does that make it a hate crime? It’s not a hate crime unless there is specific evidence that the crime was committed for that reason. Members of the GLBT community are targeted from time to time because of our sexual preference or gender identity. It’s important that these crimes are reported so the police departments can put resources into reducing and eliminating them.

What if we have a complaint about the officer? All police departments have supervisors responsible for investigating complaints about an officer’s conduct.

We can call the same non-emergency phone number and ask for the supervisor on duty or the Internal Affairs office.

Most departments also have a review board made up of civilian community members that make recommendations on cases of officer misconduct. It’s not just cops investigating cops, like many people are lead to believe.

As with the GLBT community, other minority groups have historically been reluctant to report crimes due to fear of the police, bashings, retaliation, embarrassment, etc. Those groups are starting to report more crimes and we would like to see the GLBT community also follow this trend.

Let’s get back to the first question.

Why should we call the police? One hundred percent of crimes that are not reported to the police are not solved.

There are members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community working in police departments all over Utah. We, and the officers that support us, want to serve our community too.

Please give us that chance.

Salt Lake valley non-emergency numbers: Cottonwood heights, Draper, Midvale, Murray, Sandy, South Jordan, South Salt Lake, West Jordan and West valley City Police Departments . . . . . . . 801-840-4000 Salt Lake City Police . . . . . . . . . 801-799-3000 Salt Lake County Sheriff’s office and Taylorsville Police . . . . . . . . 801-743-7000

Julie Jorgensen is a sergeant with the West Valley City Police Department and a member of the GLBT Public Safety Liaison Committee, which meets at the Utah Pride Center the second Tuesday of each month at 6:00 p.m.

Cryptogram

A cryptogram is a puzzle where one letter in the puzzle is substituted with another. For example: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! Has the solution: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! In the above example Es are all replaced by Cs. The puzzle is solved by recognizing letter patterns in words and successively substituting letters until the solution is reached. This week’s hint: I = F Theme: Local stage director/writer Tobin Atkinson’s response to Rep. Chris Buttars’ recent anti-gay remarks.

OTA HDACOAJO OTDACO OY CFADQGC? Q IQWK OTCO YIIAWJQPA, QO’J DACSSM DAPYSOQWH.

___ ________ ______ __ _______? _ ____ ____ _________, _ _ ’_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _________?

Anagram

An anagram is a word or phrase that can be made using the letters from another word or phrase.

Rearrange the letters below to answer:

Name the theme for the 2009 Queer Prom.

EXITS COED __ _______

PUZZLE SoLUTIoNS ArE oN PAGE 39

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9

CLUB

27 H C R A M , Y A FRID

M A J R BEA us! k c u R J D g in r u t Fea

21 H C R A M , Y A SATURD

T H G I N 80s

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▼

Football Is For Girls

by Brad Di Iorio

W

mer, trains year round for running events, and is planning her first mini triathlon and century bicycle ride this year. “I believe you have to train very hard for football,” she said. “You need to have the cardio/endurance to last a whole game.”

“I had to learn all the plays for the running back [position], and when I am not receiving the ball, [I learned] who to block,” said Zayas, who may also play on special teams as kick-off return this year. She also said she would like to try wide receiver or safety on defense.

“You wouldn’t think you would have to learn how to have a ball handed to you properly, but you do,” she noted.

The Northern Utah Avalanche team started two years ago, but the first year was an organizing year. Rather than playing in any games, the athletes spent their time learning the sport. Last year, Avalanche played five games, and this year, there are four pre-season games before the full season begins in September.

ho says that tackle football

is only a men’s game? Not only are an increasing number of young girls joining grade school football and wrestling teams and participating well into high school, but contact football is being embraced by adult women of all ages, too. Northern Utah’s Avalanche and Provo’s Utah Frost are the first womenonly tackle football teams.

In its third year, Northern Utah Avalanche is preparing for pre-season games, starting with a March 21 game in Las Vegas against the semi-pro Las Vegas Showgirlz.

“There’s nothing like doing something so intense with other people.

You all have the same passion to win and succeed as one,” said Yvette Zayas, an out, 32-year-old police officer. “Most people are shocked to hear about women playing full-contact football. It is a great feeling showing everyone what we do and doing it well.”

Zayas plays softball during the sum-

Q doku

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku is actually five seperate, but connected, Sudoku puzzles.

Medium

8 2 3 4 5 1 3 2 6 5

9 4 7 8 8

6

9

1 5 4 8

3

6 1 5

7 8 3 9 6 7 1 3 2 3 4 6 1 6 5 2 5 8 9 2 6 5 7 3 5 4 3 9 2 7 5 4 6 7 6 4 2 1 2 7 5 8 3

1 2 3 9 5 8 4 3 6

5 6 7 3

4 5 1 3 9 8 8 6 9 7 9 4 4 2 3 5 2 8 5 9 4 8 2 3 6 7 4 9 8 7 4 6 7 5 5 4 9 1 9 2 3 3 2 5 6

32 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 12 4 | M a rch 19, 20 09

8 5 5 4 3

4 1 4 5 9

Becky Searle

Q Sports

Coaching is done by men: Shane Andrew and Dan Lopez. Andrew helps coach the Ogden Knights, a semi-pro, indoor Arena team, which is part of a larger league, the American Indoor Football Association. He is also owner of a new men’s Arena football team, the Davis Phoenix.

“The lesbian community is a big part of women’s tackle football,” said Andrew. “Everyone is treated equally and the team is made up of everyone, lesbian and straight, of all ethnicities. I am proud to see women play and to be a part of women’s equality in sports.”

Andrew said that the women need to learn different football games because when the Avalanche visits another women’s team, you play the game they are playing. There are three common set-ups: an 11-person, outdoor football game, which Americans are used to seeing in college and pro football; an eight-person Arena football game, like the Utah Blaze plays; and the six-person game that the Boise, Idaho team prefers.

“When a team comes to our field, they play eight-person football. With the Las Vegas Showgirlz, we will be playing an 11-person team, outdoors, with four, 12-minute quarters,” said Andrew.

“It takes a bit of extra patience teaching women,” he added. “But it is almost easier to coach women because they know they don’t understand the game like a group of men do. You have to teach them the footwork, how to throw a ball, and go over basic techniques used in practice and plays.”

Andrew said he has a couple of women players who could play on his men’s Arena team. “I have male team members who watch the women’s team practice, and they are blown away that women can play as well as they can,” he said.

Trudy Thomas is owner of Northern Utah Avalanche and heads the Utah Women’s Arena Football League.

“We are working to get a couple more teams to have four in the league,” she said. “We are always accepting new players for additional teams.”

Thomas hopes that enough players will express interest to form a Salt Lake City team. Utah Frost is comprised of players from Provo and to the south.

Northern Utah Avalanche practice every Saturday, 5–7 p.m. at the Kaysville SportsPlex, an inside soccer and football complex, unless there is a game or the team is traveling. The coaches provide clinics so that new, interested athletes can learn the basics from the male players.

Equipment is the responsibility of the player and includes shoulder pads, thigh pads, cleats, a partial uniform and helmets.

“We have one player who is in charge of ordering all of our uniforms, and we did have to pay for them ourselves,” said Lisa Langford, 29, an out lesbian who plays quarterback for the Avalanche. “It wasn’t as much for some of

the girls because we fit into youth pads.”

Another cost players cover is the indoor practice field. Each member who comes to practice pitches in for the cost of using the field that day. As it warms up, using an outside field will be less expensive or free, depending on the field.

“I’ve always wanted to play full-contact football, but there were no leagues for girls/women growing up,” said Langford. “By playing football you can gain great friendships. When on the field you get a natural high.”

Langford played quarterback last year in both Boise games. “I do plan on traveling with the team outside of Utah,” she said. “I believe that traveling as a team really does bring a team together and players get to know each other on a personal level versus a player-to-player level.”

Everyone is welcome to watch pre-season games at the SportsPlex.

Fundraisers are being planned for the upcoming season, and sponsors are still needed for the league.

Pre-season play: March 21 Showgirlz host Avalanche April 18 Avalanche host Boise at Kaysville SportsPlex April 25 Boise host Avalanche June 20 Avalanche host Ventura, Calif. team at Kaysville SportsPlex

To learn more about women’s tackle football, visit eteamz.com/nuavalanche or call Trudy Thomas at (801) 726-3929, or e-mail at nuv_womens_fb@comcast.net. For directions and more information on the SportsPlex, visit sportsplextraining.com or call (801) 544-7539.

F R

I D A Y S

S A T U

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D A Y S

Tuesday – $1 drafts with DJ Mike Babbitt Wednesday – SUPERSTAR Karaoke with Travis Thursday – LIVE@JAM with Big City House spinning after Friday FIX with DJ:K Saturday THUMP with DJ TiDY 751 North 300 West Open Tues – Saturday at 5pm

3 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 12 4 | M a rch 19, 20 09

Non-Smoking Great Sicilian Food Available

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Q Puzzle

Harvey of Human Kindness

Across 1 Sean, who played the lead in 67-Across 5 Lover’s quarrels 10 TV show, e.g.

14 Two-toned cookie 15 Muscle Mary’s tummy toughener 16 Desert of the Heart author 17 Moisten with spray 18 Former Indian head 19 ___ buco (veal dish) 20 Pansy part 22 With 67-Across, summary of Harvey’s words?

24 Most off the mark 26 Make up 27 With 67-Across, Harvey as a mama’s boy?

30 Regarding 32 Like some pitched balls 33 Minor bones to pick 34 Gershick’s Gay ___ Girls 37 Bear’s fur 38 With 67-Across, well-integrated Harvey?

40 Family diagram 41 Blow it 42 Leaning

43 Tickle pink 45 Boone, for short 46 With 67-Across, Harvey when we cry over him?

47 Broadway backer 50 “Hold it right there!”

52 With 67-Across, supported Harvey?

54 Tickled pink 58 Soothing agent 59 Peruvian friends of Maya Angelou?

61 Ready for plucking 62 Sex and the City creator Darren 63 Penetrating 64 On the calm side 65 Cash register section 66 Let fly 67 2008 biopic about Harvey Down 1 Partner of Circumstance 2 Lake traveled by Ohio ferries 3 Kristy McNichol sitcom Empty ___ 4 Zip 5 IRS info 6 Smithereens 7 Threesome member for Dumas 8 Shake your moneymaker?

9 Common tater 10 Lickety-split 11 The Celluloid Closet author Vito

12 The Hot Chick’s Eric Christian 13 Hollow rock 21 Used a forked tongue 23 Chows down 25 Sucked up 27 Disney’s Mickey and Minnie, e.g.

28 ___ about 29 Peter or Paul but not Mary 31 Treeless tract 33 69 and others (abbr.)

34 Kind of stimulating 35 Suffix with Congo 36 A Scout may do a good one 39 Nothing to brag about?

40 Early electric message 42 South Pacific island 44 Vincente’s daughter 45 Gets in the way of 46 Give Valium to 47 Pull ___ one 48 Streisand’s Prince of Tides costar 49 Bad pun response 51 Come again 53 Command 55 Taylor of I Shot Andy Warhol 56 German-built car 57 Calendar row 60 Work under Edith Head, perhaps Answers on p. 39

QSaltLake is brought to you by our advertisers.

Please support them and thank them loudly.

3 6 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 12 4 | M a rch 19, 20 09

Homoscopes p

sCorPIo (Oct 24–Nov 22)

e

arIes (Mar 21–Apr 20)

Sun in your own proud sign encourages proud rams to get out there and make a name for themselves. however what will that name be? Avoid rushing into new things or exacting change just for the sake of change. If you plan carefully and ask for help, your new projects of today will become important monuments tomorrow. Build on solid ground and not shifting sand.

r

taurus (Apr 21–May 21)

Queer Bulls are catapulted out of their dank closet. So be ready or not. The volcanic change may make you feel a little wobbly at first, but you’ll soon regain your sea legs and set sail in the vast ocean of opportunity. Perhaps it’s time to get involved with a great gay charity or community cause.

Pile up those good karma points in time for the steamy summer heat.

Work goes much easier this week.

Even onerous tasks go more smoothly. Be careful of climbing on that organizational treadmill unprepared, proud Scorp; You easily and unknowingly can accelerate your speed from a jaunt to a dash. Also avoid overdoing it in the exercise department. You could overwork the wrong body part and pull a muscle..... ahem.

[

saGIttarIus (Nov 23–Dec 22)

Gay Archers can tap into their gay muse or hop on the train to Party Central. But hop on carefully. Your enthusiasm and pushiness can toss you off at the next station. It would be a shame to trudge back home with your tail between your legs.

however, if you approach fun things in life with a moderate outlook, who knows where your tail will wind up?

]

CaPrICorn (deC 23–Jan 20)

Give more attention to your home life. Pink Caps can plan a redecoration or renovation now when confidence and satisfaction is high. But how much can you handle at once? A minor home project could turn major. Knock down a wall and the ceiling could crash. This also goes for any latent family issues. hold off on tete a tetes until you have carefully thought it out.

AQUEErIUS (Jan 21–Feb 19) Aqueerians find that their words have uncontrollable power and frankness this week. This energy is so unbridled you’ll find that while

t

y

CanCer (JUN 22–JUL 23)

You have a loud, proud opportunity to demand your professional due rewards. But weigh your words carefully before you bleat. It would be a shame to get noticed by the big bosses for being an carp rather than a gay Crab. Demands can shake up the landscape. Who knows; you could wind up on top of the heap. Err, let’s hope it’s not the scrap heap...

u

leo (Jul 24–Aug 23)

Proud Lions can take on the world this week. But be careful not to bite off more than you can chew, tempting though it may be. You may be too too much for some folks as your cherry bombs turn into nuclear explosions. It’s fine to want to change the global landscape but avoid a scorched earth policy. Detonate cherries in the comfort of your own home.

i

VIrGo (Aug 24–Sep 23)

Do you feel liberated and feisty?

Sexual heat is turned up high so set the oven on broil and see who cooks. But be discerning in your choice of lovers; rushing in with an ill conceived choice turns into the date from hell. Try instead to take the slow and cautious route, at least initially. There is time to speed ahead once you have a chance to look at the condition of the road.

o

lIBra (Sep 24–Oct 23)

w

PIsCes (Feb 20–Mar 20)

Think your finances are under control? Think again Guppie! You may behave like a lunatic spendthrift wreaking jolly havoc with even the best laid balance sheet. of course with a little forethought you can win most of the time. Don’t risk more than you can comfortably afford to lose but also keep in mind that life is too short to skimp. opportunity knocks.

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GeMInI (May 22–Jum 21)

Pink Twins find comfort and conviviality among good pals and affirming social groups. Your personal goals are now in sync with the group dynamic. But can you have too much of a good thing? You may jump into social circles that become engulfing whirlpools. Maybe it’s time to reassess your position. Is it time to strike a new pose? how about prone?

you get your point across, it will be more like hitting someone with an anvil rather than your usual diplomatic feather duster. heck, don’t be afraid to stir up some dust and be sure not to sweep anything under the rug.

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Gay Libras ache for a special mate and this is the week to connect with someone very special. remember though that your unbridled passion may overshadow your good gay sense. Don’t let your yearning to be in a committed relationship lead you down a primrose path. All give and no take makes friendly Libra a schmiel. M a r c h 1 9 , 2 0 0 9 | i s s u e 1 2 4 | Q S a l t L a k e | 3 7

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3 8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 12 4 | M a rch 19, 20 09

Support the Businesses that Support You

Q Tales

These businesses brought you this issue of QSaltLake.

Make sure to thank them with your patronage.

Episode 13

All About Eddie security without much waiting; less the time it took to put his shoes and belt back on and suffer through chastising by a short, plump female guard for packing cuticle scissors in his carry-on bag. He paid little attention to her scolding, rather wondering what, if anything, she could do physically in the event of a real threat.

Her flushed face and haggard breathing seemed a major hindrance should she need to take down a terrorist.

“You could mail these back to yourself or I could throw them away,” the guard said in a heavy-smokers voice.

A patronizing smile came over Eddie, “No, throw them away.”

Eddie’s neurotic need to be early for every scheduled part of his life — an oddity since he’s incredibly impatient — now stranded him at the departure gate 45 minutes before his flight.

He found a quiet corner to catch up on some work, but quickly reconsidered. This was to be his third business trip to St. Paul overseeing the opening of a new retail outlet for fine home décor and jewelry of the Southwest, and it was becoming more of a headache than Eddie could stand. Instead he withdrew comedian Bob Smith’s novel Selfish & Perverse from his bag and flipped it open to Chapter Four.

Eddie was enjoying the read; he espe-

E

cially liked the main character, Nelson, with whom he relates. They’re both Capricorns, sharing traits of lechery, shyness and clumsiness.

As he read, his mind absently drifted to when he was a child growing up in Texas, and how he had an overt tendency to cause injury upon himself. In his fourth grade classroom a loose desktop slipped out of place when he put his weight on it, causing him to fall neck first into the metal bracket of the desk.

Luckily, it wasn’t very sharp and the injury required minimal stitching.

Once, when he was 10 years old, and with great sportsman-like skill, he hit himself in the mouth while practiceswinging a baseball bat, breaking a tooth. And at the age of 15, there was the day he thought it would be fun to race his bicycle against an oncoming car, down a steep road, only to painfully lose when his foot slipped from the peddle and twisted under the back tire, fracturing his ankle. Unfortunately for Eddie, the driver of the car merely swerved around him and his mangled bike to win the race.

In the terminal, Eddie smiled to himself, realizing his apparent need-forspeed was still with him to this day. His friends find his driving too aggressive and his constant cursing at other motorists extremely tense.

Again he reflected, pondering about an unusual need to play games with

Puzzle Solutions

Cryptogram: The greatest threat to America? I find that offensive, it’s really revolting.

By A.E. Storm ddie passed through airport

Anagram: So Excited

9 7 8 6 3 2 4 5 1

4 1 5 8 7 9 6 2 3

2 3 6 5 1 4 7 9 8

2 5 1 3 6 8 7 9 4

7 4 6 9 2 1 8 3 5

8 3 9 4 7 5 6 1 2

8 6 7 1 4 5 2 3 9 1 6 3 7 9 2 4 5 8

5 9 3 2 6 8 1 7 4 5 7 4 8 3 6 1 2 9

1 2 4 7 9 3 8 6 5 9 2 8 5 1 4 3 7 6

4 8 2 1 5 3 9 6 7 8 5 2 3 4 1 9 2 7 5 8 6

3 9 5 6 4 7 2 8 1 4 3 6 7 5 9 4 8 6 3 1 2

6 1 7 2 8 9 5 4 3 7 1 9 6 8 2 3 5 1 9 4 7

6 3 8 2 4 1 5 9 7

4 5 2 6 9 7 1 3 8

7 1 9 3 8 5 2 6 4

3 1 2 6 5 9 8 7 4 1 6 3 9 2 5 1 4 8 7 6 3

4 5 7 3 2 8 1 9 6 5 2 8 4 7 3 9 6 2 5 1 8

8 6 9 7 1 4 3 2 5 9 7 4 8 1 6 3 7 5 4 9 2

2 4 1 6 8 3 9 7 5 9 4 1 2 3 6 7 5 8

7 8 4 2 5 9 1 3 6

6 9 7 5 2 1 3 8 4

3 5 8 7 9 4 6 2 1

5 7 4 1 6 3 2 8 9

6 2 8 5 4 7 9 3 1

7 3 5 8 9 1 6 4 2

5 3 9 8 1 6 2 4 7 1 9 3 4 8 2 5 6 7

1 6 2 4 3 7 8 5 9 2 8 6 9 7 5 4 1 3

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Jacin Tales

himself. Nearly every day on his drive into work he plays a game in which for him to win, he must reach his destination before the song playing on the radio ends. If he loses to himself, he has to pull over and walk the rest of the way; he’s lost the game a few times, but has actually never pulled the car over.

And nearly every morning irrational thoughts of the shower curtain being ripped open by a murdering pyschopath forces Eddie into speed-showering. Eddie’s wondered on occasion if it’s a rare phobia, a fear of not being squeaky clean upon death.

Unable to concentrate, he marked the page he was on, slipped the book back into the luggage and decided to get a cup of coffee. On his way to the small deli in the terminal, he wondered if his idiosyncrasies stemmed from his upbringing.

Could it have started when his mother insisted that he sweep away the roller marks from the carpet after vacuuming?

Could it have manifested when he was 7, and his father left him and his little sister in the truck for more than an hour while he drank beer with his golfing buddies in the country club lounge?

Could it have happened when, at 11, an older kid at school named Dick — whom, Eddie realized a few years later, he had a major crush on — pressured him into having a dip of chewing tobacco? Eddie had accidentally swallowed it, threw up, and then fainted from light-headedness.

Eddie ordered a coffee, black, that was much too hot to drink right away. When he returned to his private corner in the terminal, an unexpected passenger had taken over his seat. Eddie immediately noticed how handsome the man was as he clicked away on a laptop. Black curls drooped slightly over his eyes, his thick lips pursed in concentration. The man turned his head. Eddie’s eyes darted as if being chased.

“Hello,” said the handsome man in a low pleasant voice.

“Uh ... hi,” Eddie scrambled for the word.

The man nodded at the seat next to him, “Please, sit!”

Without a word, Eddie sat down, forgetting the bag slung on his shoulder, which knocked the laptop over.

“Oh crap! Sorry,” Eddie apologized.

The man retrieved the computer from the floor. “No harm,” he assured Eddie and smiled at him. “Where are you headed?”

“St. Paul.”

“Really,” said the man with more enthusiasm than Eddie thought necessary.

“Flight 642?”

“Uumm ... Yeah I think so,” replied Eddie.

“Me too,” the man’s smile grew wider. Q

To be continued ...

M a rch 19, 20 09 | issue 12 4 | QSa lt L a k e | 39

Q

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