QSaltLake Magazine - April 02, 2009

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A World Premiere by Matthew Ivan Bennett April 3-19, 2009 | Studio Theatre @ the Rose Wagner DI ESPERIENZA is a dissection of the man, myth and self-doubt of Leonardo da Vinci, widely considered the most diversely talented person ever to have lived. Coincides with Leonardo da Vinci's 557th birthday (April 15). Featuring Kirt Bateman, Jesse Harward, Tracie Merrill and Teresa Sanderson. Developed in partnership with The Leonardo and the Utah Shakesperean Festival's New American Playwrights Project. 355.ARTS or planbtheatre.org

Rex Wockner

Q World

Quips & Quotes

BY REX WOCKNER

Florida Voters Retain GLBT Rights Law

Voters in Gainesville, Fla., rejected an amendment March 24 that would have repealed the city’s law that protects GLBT people from discrimination in housing, employment, public accommodations and credit services.

Charter Amendment 1 failed 42 percent to 58 percent.

“Gainesville voters overwhelmingly rejected a fear-based campaign of lies and misinformation and stood up for protection from discrimination against (LGBT) people,” said ACLU of Florida attorney Shelbi Day. “Voters sent a clear message that the discrimination stops right here, right now.”

Mayor Pegeen Hanrahan thanked the organization Equality Is Gainesville’s Business “and the hundreds of tireless volunteers who represented the true values of Gainesville.”

“These volunteers demonstrated the diversity and expertise within our community, representing such groups as the NAACP of Alachua County, the Human Rights Campaign, the ACLU of Florida, the University of Florida Student Senate and others,” she said.

Sen. Kerry Goes to Bat for Binational Gay Couple

U.S. Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., has gone to bat for a binational gay couple, asking the Obama administration to let Genésio Oliveira return from Brazil to live with his husband, Tim Coco, in Massachusetts.

The couple married in 2005 and own a home in a Boston suburb.

Oliveira was sent home in August 2007 after losing an asylum case based on anti-gay persecution he said he experienced in Brazil. He also lost a case this year in which he sought to return to the United States based on his marriage to a U.S. citizen.

Kerry is a co-sponsor of a bill in Congress to extend spousal immigration rights to same-sex couples.

Gay couples can marry in Massachusetts and Connecticut.

❝ ❝Unfortunately, gays won’t be demonstrating this

conference. I’m disappointed because getting yelled at by messengers from a loan shark Jesus has gotten old.

I was hoping for something new and exciting.”

—Salt Lake Tribune humor and religion columnist Robert Kirby.

❝ ❝The fact is that this legislative session,

Gays March in San Diego St. Pat’s Parade Gays are banned from marching in the St. Patrick’s Day parade in the Big Apple every year, but a gay contingent faced no obstacles making its first appearance in San Diego’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade on March 14.

The contingent of about 25 people included a float featuring a giant bedazzled leprechaun and marchers waving the gay flag.

Gay-friendly Republican Mayor Jerry Sanders served as executive grand marshal of the parade organized by the Irish Congress of Southern California.

The theme this year was “Celebrat-

ing Children’s Services,” with a specific focus on adoption, fostering and mentoring.

“This was an excellent opportunity to carry Pride’s message of equality and diversity to an audience outside the gayborhood,” said Ron deHarte, executive director of San Diego LGBT Pride, which organized the contingent. “We were thrilled by the overwhelmingly positive reaction we received from the crowd.”

San Diego’s 35th gay pride parade is July 18, followed by a two-day festival in the city’s showcase Balboa Park.

Vermont Senate Passes Samesex Marriage Bill

every American who believes in the promise of equal rights for all,” said Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese. “We congratulate Reps. Ed Butler, Paul McEachern, Barbara Richardson and Jim Splaine for their leadership in sponsoring this bill.”

At present, Massachusetts and Connecticut permit gay and lesbian couples to marry and New York recognizes gay marriages entered into elsewhere. In addition, 18,000 same-sex couples were married in California between June and November 2008, before voters amended the state constitution to stop samesex marriage. The validity of both the amendment and the 18,000 marriages is under review by the state Supreme Court, with a ruling due by early June.

Eight states and the District of Columbia legally recognize same-sex couples but do not let them marry. California, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Oregon, Vermont and D.C. extend all state-level rights and obligations of marriage to gay couples who enter into a civil union or domestic partnership. Maine, Washington and Hawaii grant registered gay couples some benefits of marriage.

Same-sex marriage is also legal in Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands, Norway, South Africa and Spain.

Vermont’s Senate passed a bill to legalize same-sex marriage March 24. The vote was 26–4.

At press time, the measure was under consideration in the House of Representatives, where it also is likely to pass.

Gov. Jim Douglas opposes the bill and has threatened to veto it.

If he doesn’t — or a veto is overridden — Vermont would become the fourth state to legalize gay marriage, after Massachusetts, Connecticut and California.

California voters later amended the state constitution to re-ban same-sex marriage. The constitutionality of the amendment is under review by the state Supreme Court, which must issue a ruling by early June.

N.H. House Passes Same-sex Marriage Bill New Hampshire’s House of Representatives passed a bill to legalize same-sex marriage March 26 by a vote of 186–179.

The measure now moves to the Senate.

“This is a very proud day for New Hampshire and a very proud day for

4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 125 | A pril 2, 20 09

Utah’s state senators and representatives have failed to protect some of the most vulnerable Utahns. We do not need to agree with every aspect of the lives of our neighbors, but we should care enough to grant everyone in our communities the basic rights to live their lives without fear, to be able to live securely and pursue happiness. By killing all of the Common Ground Initiative bills, our legislators have let ideology trump simple human decency.”

—BYU student Austin Smith in the BYU Political Review.

❝ ❝You did a wonderful job of highlighting why

social justice for all people, not depriving marriage licenses to a few, is the moral issue that should take top priority in the political process.”

—Equality Utah Manager of Public Policy Will Carlson, thanking Smith.

❝ ❝Civil disobedience is necessary at times, and

public protest is what our country was built on. But there comes a time when you are turning more away with your indignation and outrage (see Chris Buttars), when you could be winning hearts and minds with outreach.”

—The Sidetrack blogger “Jason the” commenting on All for One Initiative’s General Service Weekend at The SideTrack

❝ ❝Stay involved in this issue. Be willing to bear

the cost, because it’s going to come with a cost. We are going to make enemies because of our support for this issue.”

—Alan J. Hawkins, BYU professor of family life urging BYU’s Conference on Family Life attendees to continue opposing same-sex marriage.

Dictionary Redefines ‘Marriage’ Few people noticed until this month that Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary redefined “marriage” to include same-sex couples back in 2003 — a time when gays were permitted to marry only in the Netherlands, Belgium and the Canadian provinces of Ontario and British Columbia.

A Christian Web site drew attention to the six-year-old change on March 17.

The definition reads, in part: “(1): the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2): the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage <same-sex marriage>.”

Following inquiries from the media March 18, the company e-mailed reporters a document which explained: “Definitions in Merriam-Webster dictionaries are based on the frequency of written usage in English prose. For a new word or sense to enter our dictionaries, it must meet three criteria: 1) Widespread usage in well-read publications 2) Established usage over a certain period of time 3) An easily discernable [sic] definition.”

The statement continued: “In recent years, this sense of ‘marriage’ has appeared frequently and consistently through a broad spectrum of carefully

edited publications, and is often used in phrases such as ‘same-sex marriage’ and ‘gay marriage’ by proponents and opponents alike. Its inclusion was a simple matter of providing dictionary users with accurate information about all of the word’s current uses.”

“Merriam-Webster often hears from people on many parts of the political spectrum who believe we are promoting — or perhaps failing to promote — a particular social or political agenda when we include and define words in our dictionaries,” the statement said.

“It is unfortunate when an entry in, or an omission from, one of our dictionaries is found to be offensive or upsetting, but such considerations cannot deflect our lexicographers from their primary job, which is to create a painstakingly accurate and comprehensive record of the English language as it changes and evolves.”

Same-sex marriage is now permitted in Belgium, Canada (nationwide), the Netherlands, Norway, South Africa, Spain and the U.S. states of Connecticut and Massachusetts. From June to November 2008, gays in California also could marry, until voters amended the state constitution to stop it. The constitutionality of the amendment, known as Proposition 8, is now being reviewed by the California Supreme Court.

E T A D E H SAVE T Fifth Annual HRC Gala Dinner & Silent Auction June 20 in the Grand America Ballroom utah.hrc.org

Q Utah Utah Pride ’09 will Bring Cleve Jones, Paula Poundstone

This year’s Utah Pride Festival will boast two big names as Grand Marshal and lead entertainer: gay rights leader Cleve Jones and comedian Paula Poundstone, respectively.

Jones served as a student intern in the office of San Francisco Supervisor Harvey Milk. After Milk’s assassination in 1978, Jones left the political science program at San Francisco State University and served as a legislative consultant for California State Assembly speakers Leo T. McCarthy and Willie L. Brown, Jr. In 1982, he also worked in the district office for State Assemblyman Art Agnos.

In 1983, Jones co-founded the San Francisco AIDS Foundation. Two years later, he conceived the idea of a quilt commemorating the lives of people who had died from AIDS. In 1987 he contributed the first square to the NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt in honor of his best friend Marvin Feldman.

Today, the AIDS Memorial Quilt is the largest community arts project in the world with 80,000 squares commemorating U.S. residents who have died from the disease. The NAMES project also has quilts in 50 other nations including South Africa, Canada, France, the Netherlands, Spain, Brazil, Mexico, Cuba, Taiwan, Australia and Russia. A resident of Palm Springs, Calif., Jones is also the author of Stitching the Revolution: The Making of an Activist, a book about the AIDS Quilt’s history and his life as an activist. He also lectures frequently on the AIDS Quilt as well as the disease’s history, workplace diversity, the gay rights revolution and his experiences working with Harvey Milk.

Paula Poundstone is an Emmy awardwinning comic who began her stand-up career in 1979 in Boston. In the 1990s she appeared on several HBO comedy schedules and on Saturday Night Live when her friend and mentor Robin Williams served as host. She was the first woman to win the Cable ACE Award for best stand-up comedy special for her 1990 HBO special Cats, Cops, and Stuff. Her second HBO special, Paula Poundstone Goes to Harvard, aired in 1996. In 2008, her third special, Paula Poundstone: Look What the Cat Dragged

In debuted on Bravo!.

Poundstone is a regular panelist on NPR’s weekly news quiz program “Wait Wait ... Don’t Tell Me” and a frequent guest on Garrison Kellor’s A Prairie Home Companion. She is also the author of a memoir There’s Nothing In This Book That I Meant To Say as well as three math books for children which she co-authored with her high school math teacher, Faye Ruopp. Friends of Libraries U.S.A., a citizen-sponsored public library support group, named her its national spokesperson in 2007.

The Boston Globe has said of her stand-up comedy: “You know Poundstone’s a great comic the way you know any fine performer when you see one — there’s a disarming ease in her craft, an immediate sense that she’s so quick on her feet you need never worry about the possibility of something going wrong.”

Doug Jennings, media and special events coordinator of the Utah Pride Center, said that the festival is thrilled to have Jones as grand marshal and Poundstone as its headline entertainer for Saturday night.

“It’s super exciting to have so much momentum with Cleve, and then to top it off with Paula, who has fans not only in the gay community but the straight community as well,” he said.

Jennings also predicted that this year’s Utah Pride Festival will draw attendees from around the state and the nation.

“With so much attention on Utah with Proposition 8, we expect to have a lot of folks come to Utah Pride and celebrate with us in our diversity,” he said. “I don’t think people really give

6 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 125 | A pril 2, 20 09

Utah much of a chance when they think of the LGBT population, but this is a chance to show we are a very diverse population here.”

Jennings said that the festival is still in the process of confirming other performers.

This year’s Utah Pride Festival will be held June 5–7. Vendors and parade participants may sign up for early bird prices until April 15. To submit a vendor or parade application, or to become a sponsor or volunteer, visit utahpride. org.

Poll: Utahns Divided on Common Ground A recent Deseret News/KSL-TV poll shows that Utahns are almost evenly divided on legislators’ handling of Equality Utah’s Common Ground Initiative during this year’s session.

The Deseret News reported on the poll on March 27. Conducted by Dan Jones & Associates, a Utah-based firm specializing in market and public opinion research, the poll surveyed 400 Utahns.

Of this group, 48 percent opposed the legislature’s striking down of three gay rights bills in Equality Utah’s plan, while 45 percent approved.

Additionally, 33 percent of Utahns surveyed gave legislators an A grade for their handling of the bills, and 18 percent gave them a B. Thirty-three percent of those surveyed flunked legislators.

The poll had a margin of error of plus or minus 5 percent.

The Common Ground legislation included bills targeting fair workplace and housing laws for gay and transgender Utahns; the right for unmarried partners to bring wrongful death suits; and the ability for unmarried partners to create contracts giving them inheritance and medical decision powers. All four failed to reach

the Senate and House floors for debate during the 2009 session. A fourth bill, which would have struck a controversial clause from Utah’s gay marriage ban prohibiting the recognition of “marriage-like” relationships, was withdrawn by its sponsor.

Testimony against each bill included objections that each would put Utah on a “slippery slope” to legalizing gay marriage.

Equality Utah’s Manager of Public Policy Will Carlson told the Deseret News that the gay rights group could have better countered this charge by “providing legislators with accurate information.”

“We tried to make it clear that Utah has already amended its constitution (and banned gay marriage). We could have done a better job communicating that,” he said.

In January, three polls — conducted by the Deseret News, the Salt Lake Tribune and Equality Utah — showed that a majority of Utahns supported certain rights for gay and transgender people, including fair housing and employment laws, hospital visitation rights and inheritance rights.

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A pril 2, 20 09 | issue 125 | QSa lt L a k e | 7

Q Utah Town Hall Meeting to Bring Community Groups Together

A quarterly town hall-style meeting for gay and transgender Utahns, their allies and representatives from civic and social gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender organizations will be held on April 22.

The LGBT Town Hall Meeting is a quarterly event allowing for inter-organization and public dialogue on concerns facing Utah’s gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people and plans to address these concerns. In the past these have included legal discrimination, racism and sexism in the queer community and transgender inclusion.

The first such meeting was held in December 2008 and was the idea of activist Jacob Whipple.

As decided during the first LGBT Town Hall Meeting, we want to continue these meetings with our LGBT Organizations on a quarterly basis. Speaking at the meeting will be representatives from ACLU Utah, Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons, Equality Utah, the Human Rights Campaign, Log Cabin Republicans, Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays, Pride Interfaith, the Proud People of Color Network, Reconciliation, Stonewall Democrats, TRANSaction, and the Utah Pride Center. Each group will discuss what they have been doing in the past four months and then give the audience a chance to ask questions and voice concerns.

“It will be a recap of what has happened since the last meeting, including the legislative session, and the HRC’s lobbying efforts in Washington D.C.,” said Whipple. [It will also] be a look forward to what the organizations have planned between now and Utah Pride and their goals after that as well.”

Topics up for discussion, Whipple added, will likely include safer sex education for gays and lesbians, homeless queer youth and the need for straight allies.

The LGBT Town Hall Meeting will be held April 22 at the Salt Lake County North Building Council Chambers, 2100 S State St. For more information, contact Jacob Whipple at (801) 918-6906 or AllForOneInitiative@yahoo.com.

Gays to Hold Service Weekend During LDS Conference Reports of a mega-sized gay protest during the LDS Church’s General Conference in April are greatly exaggerated.

Instead of picking up signs and banners, a local gay activist is asking gay and transgender Utahns to pick up litter in parks and food for families in need as the Mormon faithful meet April 4 – 5.

In the wake of a bizarre email forward alleging that gays and anarchists would crash the conference as well as anger at the LDS Church for its support of a successful attempt to re-ban gay marriage in California, activist Jacob Whipple said he received a number of calls asking if there would be a protest during General Conference.

Whipple said he didn’t want to call for one. Instead, he said he wanted to take advantage of this desire for activism and “organize that into something positive.”

Thus, Whipple’s request that gay and transgender Utahns and their allies dedicate April 4 and 5 to community service.

“I believe one of the most necessary things for us to come out and be seen,” he said. “We need to do these kinds of projects with the label of LGBT so the [larger] community knows who we are and what we’re doing and can see us for the vital and productive asset to the [larger] community that we are.”

With a number of projects for volunteers to choose from, Whipple called the first Community Service Weekend “ambitious.” Projects include two in Ogden and a number in Salt Lake City.

Ogdenites will be building a ramp for wheelchair users with the Weber Housing Authority and cleaning up parks in Weber.

Salt Lake City Volunteers will be assisting the Road Home (nine homeless halfway houses) and Utah G.A.R.D.E.N.S.

with yard work; cleaning up Dimple Dell and Wasatch Park; repainting classrooms with the Utah Head Start Program; and making home visits to new refugee families to ascertain their needs.

They can also sort medical supplies to be used in humanitarian efforts.

Salt Lake City clubs are also participating in this call for volunteerism. On April 1, Club Jam held an April Fool’s Fundraiser to benefit local refugee families. On April 3, Club Sound host an opening party complete with free admission for donations of food and clothing (doors open at 10:00 p.m.). On Saturday, the Depot will hold a silent auction to benefit refugee families.

Whipple said that he and other activists would “be looking closely” at how General Service Weekend works to determine “how often we can perform this service for the community.” Ultimately, he said he would love to hold such a weekend during LDS Conferences in the spring and fall.

“I could see it becoming a quarterly event,” he added.

However, Whipple stressed that the service weekend was not started to compete with LDS General Conference.

“You have one segment of our community in General Conference learning about the Gospel of Jesus Christ and another segment of our community out performing the Gospel,” he said. “[The weekend] reaffirms the need for Christian acts of kindness in our society.”

Volunteers in Salt Lake City are asked to meet at the Utah Pride Center, 361 N 300 W, at 10:00 a.m. on April 4 and 5 to get their assignments. Ogden volunteers are asked to meet at the same time at the Unitarian Church on 705 23rd St. For more information call (801) 918-6906 or email AllForOneInitiative@yahoo.com.

USU GSA to Hold ‘Gender Blender’ Dance Utah State University’s gay-straight alliance Love Is For Everyone will hold a fundraiser dance for the school’s Gay and Lesbian Resource Center with an exciting theme: attendees are invited to come as either the sex opposite their own, or as gender variant.

“You don’t have to dress up but it’s kind of fun if a guy wants to wear a dress or a girl wants to throw on a fake moustache,” said LIFE member Isaac Furniss.

The appropriately-named Gender Blender dance will feature drag shows

by USU students, members of the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire, the Imperial Court of Northern Utah and other drag groups, DJ tunes and a special performance by LIFE President Earnest Cooper’s sister, Christina Dreams.

“It’s almost like a family affair now,” said Cooper. “She’s been performing for a few months in Salt Lake City and is amaz-

8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 125 | A pril 2, 20 09

ing. It makes my heart a little warm.”

Cooper said that he wants to make this year’s Gender Blender a “big, grant event” to give back to LIFE. “If it wasn’t for the center and LIFE I probably wouldn’t be here; as my last effort as president I want to make sure we have a great GLBT Center and a great fundraiser to give money to the center and Isaac,” he said.

Tickets for the evening are $10 per person, and all money will go to USU’s GLBT Service Center and to helping Furniss, a transgender man, pay for his breast reduction surgery which he hopes to have this summer. A cash bar with wine and beer selections will be available for attendees over 21 (a state ID or driver’s license is required).

Gender Blender will be held April 4 starting at 8:00 p.m. at The Loft by Hamilton’s on 90 W. Center St., Logan, Utah.

Q mmunity Queer Prom 2009 The Utah pride Center’s youth program, Tolerant, Intelligent Network of Teens, will present Queer Prom 2009: So Excited this April. Queer Prom is an annual event for gay and transgender youth and their straight allies.

When: April 18 Where: Salt Lake City Downtown Library, 210 E 400 S Cost: $5 in advance and $10 at the door. Tickets will be on sale soon.

Info: bonnie@utahpridecenter.org, (801) 539-8800.

GLBT Marching Band Community activist Dominique Storni is looking for people interested in forming a gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender marching band to perform during the Utah Pride Parade. Storni is looking for musicians who have had some experience in marching band, music teachers familiar with typical marching band instruments (drums, horns, etc.), and donations of sheet music. For those who cannot play an instrument but who have interest in helping, Storni is also in need of a support crew.

Info: dominiquestorni@hotmail. com

Utah Pride Needs You The 2009 Utah Pride Festival is seeking volunteers. To sign up visit utahpridefestival.org.

Cowboy Kick-Off The Village, the Utah AIDS Foundation’s HIV-prevention program for gay and bisexual men, will hold its second annual Cowboy Kick-off this May to raise money for the Village Summit, a health seminar for gay and bisexual men.

This year’s theme will be Castrostyle, to commemorate slain gay leader Harvey Milk. A cash bar will be available and prizes will be given for the best cowboy outfit.

When: May 9, 6:00 – 11:00 p.m.

Where: The residence of Ron Thurber (2215 E Aspenwood Way, 9760 S) Info: Contact Carl at (801) 487-2323 thevillage@utahaids.org Cost: Suggested donation of $15.

Gaybutante: A Ball of Magnificent Creatures

by JoSelle Vanderhooft

Life will be a cabaret indeed at this year’s Gaybutante Ball. Literally.

“It’s a queer cabaret fantasy,” said David Alder, co-president of the University of Utah’s Queer Student Union, which will be putting on its annual dance April 24 at the Gallivan Center. “Imagine Moulin Rouge! meets Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, meets Cabaret, meets the Wizard of Oz. It’s a classy fun event to bring the community together.”

The Gaybutante Ball is QSU’s yearend celebration, during which members commemorate not only the school year behind them, but the many accomplishments gay and transgender Utahns have achieved since the club’s founding in 1974 as the Lesbian Gay Student Union (a name the group changed in 2007). Perhaps appropriately given all this history, the theme for this year’s ball is (We Are All) Magnificent Creatures. It was inspired, noted Alder, by the fabulous and whimsical parties often thrown by Utah fashion designer and Black Chandelier founder Jared Gold.

“There was one party I heard about here you had to come in the worst possible drag imaginable,” said Alder, adding that he hopes the Utah Cyber Sluts (a charitable drag group known

for their outlandish neon wigs and thrift store-chic gowns, will make an appearance at this year’s ball).

Though the dance is a semi-formal event, Alder said that costumes in line with those sported by the Sluts are appropriate, as are any magnificent creations attendees can dream up.

“I’d love to see people go wild,” he said.

To help attendees create the perfect costume, Sugar House used-clothing store, Pib’s Exchange, will offer a 20 percent discount on all clothing and accessory purchases with a mention of the ball. Similarly, Farinas Costumes will offer a 20 percent discount on all rentals for those attending.

Would-be revelers will also need to get more than their costumes ready.

Because the Gallivan Center has a limit of 500 people, individuals must RSVP either at the dance’s Facebook event or by emailing utahqsu@gmail. com.

(We Are All) Magnificent Creatures will be a ‘not-to-be-missed’ dance because of its magnificent performers.

Along with performances by QSU students, the night will feature the Salt City Kings, Utah band Avenue, and the Slippery Kittens, a local burlesque group. Due to the content of some performances, Alder pointed out that the

Going Out of Gender Sale Transgender man Isaac Furniss is looking to fund his breast reduction surgery by holding a garage sale.

“I just was looking for ways to come up with money and looking to get rid of some stuff [at the same time],” said Furniss, a member of the UniverIsaac Furniss sity of Southern Utah’s gay-straight alliance Love Is For Everyone. “I figured other people probably have some spring cleaning they need to do.”

Furniss said he needs to raise $7,400 soon to have his surgery this summer.

So far, he has somewhere between $1,000 and $1,500. Along with the garage sale, he said he is considering taking out a loan or selling some of his eggs.

“I need a bunch of little things where I can throw it into savings,” he said.

For the garage sale, to be held April 4 at Furniss’ home, Furniss is seeking donations of such typical items as

dishes, books, DVDs, CDs, clothing and small furnishings such as end tables and lamps. People who would like to bring food or bake sale items are also welcome.

LIFE will also donate part of the proceeds from its upcoming Gender Blender dance (which will be held the same night as the sale) to help Furniss.

Furniss plans on donating unsold items to Somebody’s Attic, a Logan secondhand store that donates profits to the Community Abuse Prevention Services Agency, the Child and Family Support Center of Cache County, Inc., and a number of other community organizations.

He also said that he plans on giving back to the community in thanks as soon as his surgery is paid for.

“I like helping out, so as soon as I get done, if there’s anyone else who needs help, I’m totally there,” he said. “It’s hard to get money, especially now.”

The garage sale will be held at Furniss’ home at 345 N 200 E, Logan, UT from 9:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. To inquire about donating items, contact Furniss at (801) 419-1602 or isaac.furniss@usu. edu. Items may be brought to the house on Friday night or Saturday morning.

party is for people age 18 and over.

At the end of the night, QSU will also announce its officers for the 2009-2010 school year as well as the club’s 20082009 Ally of the Year. It will also unveil an upcoming service project, which Alder said he’s keeping under wraps until the big night. He would only say: “It will provide us as a queer community in the valley, a means to demonstrate our compassion to other people who are often marginalized.”

The dance comes a week after the University of Utah’s Allies Week: five days of parties, lectures, film screenings and events designed to help gay, transgender and straight U of U students, employees and faculty make the school a safer and more accommodating place for queer students.

Held April 13–17, events for this year include a panel for straight allies, safespace training, a game night, social and drag show, and a screening of the film Speak Up! Improving the Lives of GLBT Youth. The week will culminate in observation of the National Day of Silence, during which students will

refrain from speaking throughout the day to draw attention to anti-gay and anti-transgender discrimination and violence throughout the world. Gayfriendly student organizations will also offer information about their services throughout the week.

The Gaybutante Ball, said Alder, is a great way to bring a close to Allies Week and to the school year. More, it is a chance for people in the broader community to come together regardless of their sexual orientation or their relationship to the all-encompassing word ‘queer.’

“No matter where you stand on the term queer, Gaybutante gives us the opportunity to show how fun it is to be queer, to be strange and bizarre,” he said. Q

The ball will be held April 24 from 8–11:00 p.m. at the Gallivan Center Auditorium, 239 S. Main Street. A donation of $5 per person is suggested. Businesses and individuals interested in sponsoring the night by providing food, non-alcoholic beverages, linens and utensils are encouraged to email utahqsu@ gmail.com or call (801) 759-7428.

Cafe Marmalade to Donate Against H8 on 4/8 Café Marmalade has announced that it will donate 8 percent of net sales (including employees’ tips) to the Community In-Roads Alliance, a group dedicated to supporting gay and transgender-friendly businesses and raising awareness of issues facing gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer Utahns.

This “8 on the 8th day” is one of the alliance’s many fundraisers. In past months, the alliance has held a number of events to benefit ACLU Utah, the Utah Pride Center and gay rights group Equality Utah, including Community FUNraiser and a fundraiser at Brewvies called Cans N’ Reels movie night. Eight on the 8th is one of its more recent events, and one that has been quite popular since its inception in March.

Paulus said that her business partner Bob Evans came up with the idea for the day when the two were brainstorming about what the café could do to raise money for local gay-positive organizations.

When Evans proposed the name, Paulus said she didn’t understand why he chose 8 percent or the eighth of the month until Evans said, “Get it? Prop 8?”

“It went right over my head,” she said, laughing.

Café Marmalade’s first 8 on the 8th was held on a Sunday, and raised a good deal of money. But Paulus said the café is hoping to do even better this month.

“I think now we’re getting more publicity, we should be able to donate a pretty huge chunk [of money],” she said.

To help raise this pretty huge chunk, Paulus said the café will be open for two more hours on April 8 — from 6:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. instead of the Café’s usual 7:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. hours. She added, of

course, that raising the funds would not be possible without her staff’s generosity to contribute 8 percent of their tips.

“They were all about it 100 percent,” she said.

Paulus said she is not sure how long Café Marmalade will continue to hold 8 on the 8th, but right now the effort seems to be “going pretty strong.” ”It’s here, it’s queer, it’s good coffee,” she said.

The alliance, she added, will most likely donate proceeds from this month’s 8 on the 8th to the ACLU of Utah.

Paulus also noted that the Community In-Roads Alliance is looking for more gay and transgender-friendly businesses to join in their efforts, particularly with several fundraisers in the works for 2009, including a speakers bureau in conjunction with the Utah Pride Center and a transgender-awareness Cans ‘N’ Reels night.

Café Marmalade is located on the ground floor of the Utah Pride Center at 361 N 300 W. For more information about joining the Community In-Roads Alliance, call (801) 746-2884 or email communityinroadsalliance@gmail.com.

Utah County Gays Invited to Weekly Coffee

There’s not much for Utah County gays to do and not too many places to meet, at least according to James Bunker. And he wants to do something about it.

He is inviting any and all gay and lesbian people to join a group for coffee and conversation each Wednesday evening at 7:00 p.m. at the Juice & Java, 280 W. 100 North in Provo.

For more information, call Bunker at 801-735-8965.

A pril 2, 20 09 | issue 125 | QSa lt L a k e | 9

Q Utah Campaign: Buy Rubbers for Buttars

April 1 is anti-gay state Sen. Chris Buttars’ birthday, and some Utahns wanted to commemorate the day by sending him cards.

Cards, that is, to let the West Jordan Republican know that someone has purchased condoms in his name.

Begun by anonymous activists on the Web site firstgiving.com, the Condoms for Chris! campaign was seeking to raise $5,000 for the Utah AIDS Foundation.

“To honor all that Chris Buttars has done for Utahns lately, how about we honor him back?” asked the posting on the Web site.

Buttars is well-known for making anti-gay remarks. In February, documentary filmmaker Reed Cowan released an interview with Buttars in which the state Senator said that gays had no morals and were a threat to America equivalent to terrorists. Buttars’ comments made national headlines and launched a call for his resignation.

Republican leadership defended Buttars’ right to free speech, but removed him from a legislative committee. They later said they had censured Buttars because the Senator had promised not to speak publicly about gay issues this session, not because they necessarily disagreed with his remarks.

For every $10 donated to the Condoms for Chris! campaign, a card was sent to Buttars “acknowledging that a donation was made in his name for the purchase of condoms.”

“Together, we can overflow his office with cards telling him just how many condoms he has provided,” read the campaign’s Web site. “Support a great cause, and make a statement at the same time.”

Bret Hanna, Utah AIDS Foundation Trustee Chair, said that the campaign was not an effort of UAF. When asked whether his organization approved of the campaign, he said: “We appreciate the community getting involved in fund raising; however, as an AIDS service organization we don’t take an official stance on political issues of this nature.”

There was no word at press time on whether the group would be able to find butter-flavored condoms. Q The Condoms for Christ! campaign can be found at firstgiving.com/happybirthdaybuttars. At press time it had raised $55 of its $5,000 goal.

Sandy City to Consider Adult Designee Program?

Traction for a program that would allow city employees to ensure their unmarried partners is coming from an unexpected place: Sandy City.

In late March, Sandy City Councilmembers Scott Cowdell and Linda Martinez-Saville announced that they would ask the city to study the costs of expanding its health benefits program to include the unmarried partners or other adult dependents (such as elderly parents or adult siblings) of city workers.

According to the Salt Lake Tribune, Cowdell, a councilman since 1988, had brought up the issue before. But the city determined that an expansion of its health care policy would be too expensive. Since that time, Salt Lake City and Salt Lake County have extended adult designee health care benefits to their employees — the county Council voting to do so in February of this year.

Cowdell noted that such a program could be beneficial to families of all kinds who might otherwise be unable to go to the hospital in the troubled eco-

nomic climate.

Although he noted that the issue was not solely about gays and lesbians, Cowdell told the Deseret News that people should have a right to health care regardless of their sexual orientation.

“I think we are our brothers’ keepers, right, and so we should be concerned about people and not their orientation,” he said. “We should be concerned about their health care and their quality of life.”

During the 2009 legislature, local gay rights group Equality Utah attempted to pass four bills that sought to secure more legal rights for gay and transgender Utahns, including housing and employment protections and probate rights. After the failure of those bills — dubbed the Common Ground Initiative — the organization has concentrated its efforts on getting individual Utah cities and municipalities to adopt such things as adult designee programs and workplace protections for gay and transgender municipal employees.

Equality Utah, however, had not contacted Cowdell or Martinez-Saville before the two talked to the press.

The group’s Manager of Public Policy, Will Carlson, called the Councilmembers’ interest “exciting.”

For the moment, however, the push for adult designee benefits in Sandy is only in its research phase. Cowdell even noted that he thinks many on the council won’t address the issue unless research finds that the cost of an adult designee program will be negligible.

Sandy Councilman Bryant Anderson is interested in studying the issue but said he would want benefits only for traditional families.

Further, some on the council may not want to offer the benefits for reasons other than money.

“I’m pretty cautious about creating situations where a lot more money is being committed outside of normal family relationships,” said Anderson. “Family stability is my biggest concern about it [the adult designee program], and I guess the [cost] would be secondary.”

Sandy Mayor Tom Dolan said he would not comment on the issue until Cowdell and Martinez-Saville’s proposal had received further study.

Anti-Gay Group Angry Over ‘Big Love’ A Utah-based group that made headlines across the state for running an anti-gay ad in the Deseret News and the Salt Lake Tribune in February has again attempted to take out ads in both papers — this time blaming gays for an episode of an HBO drama depicting an LDS temple ceremony.

Only this time, editors of both papers refused to run the ad.

Once concerned primarily with protecting the rights of children born in the United States to undocumented immigrants, America Forever (run by Sandra Rodrigues and her brother Jonas Filho) has in recent years turned its attention to the issue of homosexuality, particularly in Utah. In February, the group placed a full page, full-color ad urging Utahns to reject the Common Ground Initiative, four bills by gay rights organization Equality Utah that sought to give gay and transgender Utahns more legal protections. The advertisement also criticized Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman, Jr. for publicly stating his support of civil unions for gay and lesbian couples. The advertisement accused Equality Utah of attempting to use LDS Church statements that said the church didn’t object to non-marital rights for gay people “as a shield to numb the public conscience of their religious duty and rights.” It also compared gays to “druggies and hookers” and called them “anti-species” because gay sex is not procreative.

Many Utahns criticized the newspapers for permitting the advertisement to run. Additionally, several legislators — including many who voted against the Common Ground bills — called the

10 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 125 | A pril 2, 20 09

advertisements inappropriate.

In their March advertisement, America Forever shifted from criticizing pieces of legislation to blaming gays for an episode of HBO’s drama Big Love that featured a depiction of an LDS temple endowment ceremony — a ceremony that Mormons consider to be off-limits for non-members. The series follows the lives of members of a polygamist sect that has broken away from mainstream Mormonism.

Because Big Love’s co-creators Mark V. Olsen and Will Scheffer are gay, America Forever called the episode a deliberate attempt to be “disrespectful” to Mormons.

“This is persecution and retaliation against the LDS Church for its Stance [sic] on Proposition 8 in California!” read the ad, referring to a controversial ballot measure seeking to re-ban gay marriage which the LDS Church supported. The ad also compared the airing of the episode to “burn[ing] a cross on the church’s lawn.”

Despite these criticisms, the Big Love ad stated that America Forever is not an anti-gay group.

“America Forever is a non-hateful group with its only intent being of exposing the homosexual movement for what it really is,” the ad read. “There are many homosexuals that are your family and friends, and are good people. There is no intent to harm anyone. We do know that many of them are not aware of what this movement is doing. We feel that the faster this movement is exposed the les [sic] victims there will be!”

Although advertisements for both newspapers are handled separately

by a company named MediaOne, Salt Lake Tribune editor Nancy Conway and Deseret News publisher Jim Wahl both agreed not to run the ad in their publications, according to Tribune columnist Paul Rolly. Rolly reported that Conway compared the advertisement to hate speech and Wahl said he did not want to promote something “detrimental to the community and [that] causes pain.”

America Forever then sent unsolicited faxes of the ad to several Utah businesses — including some colleges and universities — complete with accusations that the newspapers had “stifled our free speech.” “[T]oday we are wondering where is the freedom of the press?” the fax read.

According to Rolly, it was a gesture that upset many of the recipients.

“Several businesses have sent copies of the fax they received from America Forever and have let me know of their displeasure at receiving its blustering against their will,” he wrote.

Warm Weather is Coming!

Queer Spirit Spring Retreat

The weekend of April 17–19, gay men from Utah and other states will gather at Wind Walker Ranch in Spring City, Utah to explore what it means to be gay and what beliefs have shaped their lives.

The seasonal retreat is held by Queer Spirit, a Utah-based organization founded and run by therapist Jerry Buie and yoga teacher John Cottrell who also conducts a number of circles, discussions and workshops for gay men. The retreat, however, is one of Queer Spirit’s most notable offerings.

According to the group’s Web site, queerspirit.net, the retreat is not about religion, theology, therapy or psychology. Rather, it centers around having “queer life magnified, examined and honored” in a culture “that seeks for gay men to marginalize our queerness.”

“Queer Spirit is an unfolding of the old stories of domestication and an unraveling of the ‘you should do...’ and is an exploration of possibilities,” the group’s mission statement reads. “We look to our unique cultural expressions, history, traditions, roles and archetypes and ask questions, explore and seek inspiration. Queer Spirit is a personal passion because it feeds participants on many levels.”

According to Buie, feeding participants on many levels means that the retreat weekends are always different, and always based on the needs of the participants.

“Every retreat is the reflection of the men who show up,” he says. “A goal we have with every retreat is how we deepen the relationships of gay men, so when they come home from the retreat, they feel not only connected to the experience but to other men who are going to support and share in the vision of what they want to get out of life.”

“As a therapist I frequently hear people frustrated with the bar scene and with an apparent superficiality of

life within the queer community, and I think many gay men buy into that as their only option,” Buie continues.

“What we’re inviting with Queer Spirit is to get out of the superficial and go into the profound in terms of who we are as gay men and what we offer each other spiritually, emotionally, intimately and allow that to be a seed for the future. I’m convinced that the superficiality people complain about is one reality, but not the only reality. We’re saying let’s shift the environment and see what we find with each other.”

Some of the tools used at the retreats, says Buie, are sweat lodges, opening bonfire ceremonies, and yoga, dance and movement workshops. While some are spiritual in nature, Buie says that all are ultimately used to encourage participants to go to an “edge” they haven’t visited before — such as confronting some of their fears about identifying as gay, or the direction in which their lives are going. “[The idea is that] I may have to push myself out of my comfort zone in a safe environment to see where I can go,” says Buie. “To me that can be a very profound experience.”

Overall, he encourages gay men to try the retreat or one of Queer Spirit’s many workshops for gay men, even if the idea of participating scares them a little.

“People [who have participated] are discovering very intimate gifts about themselves and each other, and this is really leading to some pretty significant life changes,” he says. “People are stepping away from addictions. They’re embracing hope. It really is incredible what comes into people’s lives when they participate, yet just showing up seems to be a considerable edge for people.”

For more information on the retreat or to register, visit queerspirit.net.

A pril 2, 20 09 | issue 125 | QSa lt L a k e | 11

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Q Views Guest Editorial Open Advice to Jacob Whipple, Mormon Gay Rights Leader

by Doug Wallace

Shortly after last November’s passage of Proposition 8 in California, Jacob Whipple organized a 3,000 person march on Mormon’s holy shrine of Temple Square in Salt Lake City, Utah.

April 4–5 marks the annual world-wide conference of the Mormon Church. Instead of organizing a protest Mr. Whipple has opted for a Doug Wallace multi-service project to do good deeds for the beautification and betterment of Utah residents in an attempt to demonstrate that gay people are good people and therefore their interests should be respected by Utah voters.

Mr. Whipple, while I commend you for concerns about the need for such service in Utah off-site of well-manicured and controlled LDS property, I think you are sucking up to church leaders who have put your cause in the same, if not worse, category of black American men prior to — and in some sense still — their mistakenly named “revelation” in 1978.

America has come a long way in officialdom with the election of a black president, but in many cases discrimination and offensive language are still in vogue in illiterate quarters.

You need to remember history, Jacob.

Do you believe that equal rights would have happened for black people in the absence of the work of Dr. King and others? Do you think that sit-ins and marches, which sometimes resulted in injury and death, were not required to shift the weights on the scales of liberty?

Black people did not enhance the chance of their equality by sucking up to white supremacy!

Do you believe that black men would hold the right to priesthood within the church in the absence of work done by Byron Marchant, Dr. John Fitzgerald and myself if we had not made an open and forceful public assault on the status quo of pre-1978 Mormon leadership 1 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 125 | A pril

thinking?

The 1978 manifesto happened only because of the public efforts that we and others made to force a change of attitude and perspective on the part of those leaders. If embarrassing the leaders is necessary, as it is, then you must do peacefully whatever it takes to embarrass them.

Placing yourself and your support-

What the church leaders need is a stone between the eyes ala David and Goliath ers in a position of prayerful servitude to the duties of servants will only leave you all as servant subordinates. It will not change anything. Mormons will still regard you as second- or third-class citizens with no rights which they think they have the power to withhold.

What the church leaders need (metaphorically speaking) is a stone between the eyes ala David and Goliath. While that may be shortly coming at them 2, 2009

from an unsuspected source, you and your group need to make yourself totally visible in the sense that every attendee at annual church conference needs to see the massive presence and economic power which you wield in the State of Utah.

Take the advice of someone who has stood there on the front line of battle almost all alone. It can be scary. Behind the showy mantle of “priestly authority” these leaders are as confused and mistaken on the issue of homosexuality as is the rest of their ilk despite their arrogance.

Teach them a peaceful lesson in the rights of gay and lesbian Americans to pursue happiness as protected under the U.S. Constitution. Re-order your thinking and surround all Mormon temples in the state of Utah as well as all other states, especially Hawaii.

In fact if supporters, at least two-bytwo, were to picket Mormon temples around the world with protestation and placards it would open the eyes of the blind. Let not only Mormons but the whole world see and understand your determination to seek equality.

Don’t argue with methods of success.

I know God is with you.

I and many other thinking people are with you.

QSaltLake Welcomes Letters from Our Readers

Doug Wallace is a retired general contractor and attorney. He worked to pressure the LDS church to accept racial equality with black men 30 years ago by public action.

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Queer Gnosis The Radical Roots of Queer Politics

by Troy Williams

S

omething is in the air. Something

new is waiting to be born. And all of us are anxiously waiting to see what is next for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community.

While our attention is focused on California Supreme Court’s “day of decision” on Proposition 8, we need to look at the larger picture. Regardless of what happens in May, we still have tremendous work to do. We’ve been fighting (and mostly losing) state by state battles over marriage rights. Maybe now it’s time to focus on larger goals — specifically, a massive concentrated political campaign to insure social equality on the federal level. And not just for us, but for all U.S. citizens.

Hard fact: Excluding a revelation from god, queers will never achieve full citizenship in Utah until the U.S. Supreme Court strikes down DOMA laws and rules Amendment 3 unconstitutional. Even if the California Supreme Court overturns Prop. 8, it will still only be a symbolic (although emotionally satisfying) victory. California gay marriages still won’t provide queer familial recognition on the national level. Given that the Utah Legislature is filled with regressive anachronisms posing as lawmakers, the best we can do here is stage political theatre to keep our issues at the heart of public debate.

And that is important work.

On that note, Equality Utah’s Common Ground Initiative has been stellar. National gay organizations could learn a great deal from their work. Real creative change always comes from the grassroots. Imagine what might happen if the big national organizations modeled Common Ground on a federal level. Imagine LAMBDA Legal working aggressively together with the Human Rights Campaign and the National Center for Lesbian Rights — not in individual states, but across the country to insure legal protections, health care and worker’s rights for all Americans. I believe such a coalition with a broad-base social agenda would be unstoppable.

But let’s expand our vision even bigger. It’s critical to remember that the early gay rights movement was born out of the desire for dynamic social disruption and change. Looking back, we realize that our movement had more radical origins and objectives than those to which we currently aspire.

Two queer activists who remember these days are Lisa Duggan and Cleve Jones. Duggan teaches American Studies at NYU and Jones is an AIDS activ-

ist, union organizer and the political protégé of Harvey Milk (and, lucky us, he will be our Grand Marshal this year at Pride!). Both Duggan and Jones argue passionately that we must focus our goals on the federal level. They also recognize that the gay rights movement is more than just marriage equality. It’s a full-on social peace and justice movement that must never be divorced from the broader issues of war, poverty, labor, race and gender inequality.

During a recent interview on KRCL’s RadioActive, Cleve Jones stated: “Most young people in [the gay] community are unaware that they are part of a movement that grew out of a revolutionary and radical politics in this country.

Most of us who were there in the early days of gay liberation came to it through the anti-war movement, through the feminist movement, through the civil rights struggle and early environmentalist movement. We began to find each other, and realized it was time to start to fight for our own rights. People have the right to turn away from that history and not acknowledge it. But to do so is to lose one of the great strengths of our community.”

Lisa Duggan laments the demise of the progressive social-left movements of the ’60s and ’70s. In her book Twilight for Equality? she documents the fragmentation of our movement into the myriad of single-issue “identity politics” of today: “No longer representative of a broad-based progressive movement, many of the dominant national lesbian and gay civil rights organizations have become the lobbying, legal and public relations firms for an increasingly narrow gay, moneyed elite. Consequently, the push for gay marriage and military service has replaced the array of political, cultural and economic issues that galvanized the national groups as they first emerged from a progressive social movement context several decades earlier.” (p. 45).

We are here today because of big thinkers who had bigger ideas for transforming the world. And in a sense, we’ve lost that vision. We’ve lost the audacity of ACT UP and Queer Nation.

Both Jones and Duggan acknowledge that many in the gay community are content to be a willing demographic for corporations to market products to. For some, the focus of gay activism centers solely around domesticity and consumption. It’s about enjoying straight privilege and material status at the exclusion of larger issues.

But we are so much more. We are the

children of radical revolutionaries born with a mandate to shake the planet. All great queer activists past and present — Cleve Jones, Harvey Milk, Emma Goldman, Lisa Duggan and many more — envision the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender political force as a massive social justice movement. They always think big. This is more than just matching bands and designer gowns. This is about total cultural liberation.

We should never accept compromise.

We are citizens of this nation and we need to be treated as such. And it is past time the federal government stepped up and acknowledged our lives. Now as we focus our efforts federally, this does not mean we should stop working in our own state. Utah queers need to keep raising all kinds of hell. We need to

keep agitating, pushing and driving. We need to keep supporting Equality Utah and the Utah Pride Center. We need to keep coming out, staging protests, writing letters and being a damned nuisance. We must keep our discontent at the center of public discourse. And with that, we should always keep our eyes focused on the federal level. With that, we must remember the work of those who came before. We need to continue their vision, and work tirelessly for the liberation of all people.

Utah has become the frontline of the nation’s culture wars. The whole world is watching us. Let’s put on one helluva show. Q Troy Williams is the executive producer of RadioActive on KRCL, 90.9 FM.

ROOTED IN YOUR COMMUNITY, HARVESTED FOR YOUR TABLE Community Supported Agriculture connects local community members to locally-grown food.

Support local farmers and find out where your food comes from in Utah by becoming a shareholder in your local farm.

For more information go to: www.csautah.org or phone (801) 524-4254 SPONSORED BY THE GREAT SALT LAKE RC&D COUNCIL, INC. A pril 2, 20 09 | issue 125 | QSa lt L a k e | 15

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Ruby Ridge It’s a Beautiful Thing

by Ruby Ridge

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t’s official

Kittens! third fridaY Bingo has become so culturally influential that it is now being picketed by street “preachers” and protestors, and darlings, I couldn’t be more proud. What set this all in motion was the Salt Lake Tribune who published a glowing, positive article about Q_newmusic.pdf 3/30/2009 2:34:20 PM Third Friday Bingo in the Faith section

of the Saturday paper (along with some appalling taken way too close pictures that make me look like an albino Chia pet ... damn paparazzi!). Anyway the “God Hates Fags” folks must have seen it and apparently had a conniption fit.

They not only protested at bingo on Friday but also at the church on Sunday where they were screaming insults

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at little old church ladies and the kids going to Sunday School. It was aurally and visually interesting to say the least.

By popular vote our favorite rant was “America has a Muslim president because of weak Christian Churches.” For those of you who read my last column it’s déjà vu all over again (see “One Step Forwards, 12 Steps Back” March 16th in

the QSaltLake archives).

Anyway muffins, here is the interesting part. If the protesters were trying to intimidate the straight folks at First Baptist Church, then their plan totally backfired. Mr. Ridge and I were besieged by people from all ages, orientations and walks of life hugging us, shaking our hands, slapping us on the back and saying don’t change a thing about bingo. The rag tag protesters outside were so over the top and full of hate that the average people in the congregation just tuned out. It was a real learning experience for everyone. Later in the week we started receiving really encouraging phone calls, e-mails, and lovely cards from familes and congregants in the church supporting what we are trying to do with bingo. It was very validating and touching I must say.

So watching our congregation bond and coalesce during this miniature storm of adversity really got me thinking about how smart the LDS Church was to hype up the Prop 8 “backlash,” and manufacture the gay threat to the Draper Temple Dedication, and the rumor of angry gay hordes at General Conference. If our congregation resolve is any indication of how we respond to an outside threat, then by now their wards must be really revved up and ready to declare jihad on the gays (oh wait, they already have ... my bad).

I don’t know about you pumpkins, but I feel like the Mormon message machine and their legions of apologists have completely overplayed the Victim Card. How can they be so disproportionately wounded and angry just because of one peaceful protest outside of the Salt Lake Temple? Seriously, get a sense of proportion will ya? If a worldwide church with the financial, political and organized clout of the LDS Church is so thin-skinned and publicly distraught over such a minor event, then something is either seriously out of whack or they are milking the situation to energize their membership, and garner sympathy.

I can’t wait for Conference this weekend just to see how they address the whole Prop 8 thing. I’m betting they double down on the whole “we’re a persecuted minority” theme and really hype up the gay threat to the church, and/or marriage, and/or family, and/or the children! If you’re playing a drinking game at home, down a shot every time you hear the phrase “sanctity of marriage.” You should be blitzed before the choir sings. Cheers! Q

You can see Ruby Ridge live and in person at Third Friday Bingo, every third Friday of the month at 7:00 p.m.) at First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East). More details at www.thirdfridaybingo.com. Remember this month is our first annual table decorating contest for our regular bingo goers (subtle hint ... the winning table will include edible bribes for Ruby & the Girls, so Greek Mafia table ... that means I had better be seeing some Baklava, do I make myself clear?).

Creep of the Week Ken Starr

By D’Anne Witkowski

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en Starr is obsessed with penises.

Need proof? Starr is, after all, to blame for the fact that for anyone old enough to remember the Clinton administration, a cigar is not just a cigar. During the ’90s, Starr’s lurid exposé of President Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky’s affair kept America firmly focused on Clinton’s member, taking money and attention away from arguably more important business (Bin Laden was already on the scene back then, for one).

These days, he’s leading the charge for one penis-one vagina marriage as the lead council defending Prop. 8 in California, the measure that passed in November, banning marriage for samesex couples in the state.

For those of you following this whole California marriage thing, you know that Prop. 8 has been challenged in court. Opponents of the measure charge that Prop. 8 is not a limited amendment, but rather a constitutional revision that needs a two-thirds approval of the legislature before it can be put before voters. Legal proceedings are currently underway in an attempt to overturn it.

But not if Starr has anything to do

with it. Not only does he want to see Prop. 8 upheld, but he also wants the 18,000 marriages between same-sex couples that occurred prior to November nullified. In other words, he wants to force divorce onto 18,000 people. More if you include the children some of these couples have (for more on that, check out The Courage Campaign’s “Please Don’t Divorce Us” slideshow online).

Starr, as the frontman to the anti-gay marriage band, is hardly a sock. According to Mother Jones, “Two years ago, Starr, now dean of the Pepperdine Law School, represented a bunch of anti-gay marriage groups, including the Mormon Church, in amicus briefs in some of California’s gay marriage litigation. He’s been involved in the issue for a while, now.”

As LL Cool J would say, “Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years, rockin’ my peers and puttin’ suckas in fear.”

Starr claims that the case has to do with more than just homosexuality, but that’s hard to believe considering he’s accused gay folks of “seizing and hijacking the marriage relationship in order to achieve apartheid-type values.”

Calling Starr “the Grinch who stole

marriage,” Rachel Allen of California’s National Organization for Women says, “The only thing I can think of that’s more cruel than denying same-sex couples and their families the right to marry, is stripping the right of families who already are married.”

Something tells me that Starr isn’t going to be moved by the 46,000 signatures delivered last week to his office by www.endthelies.org, a project of the Human Rights Campaign. The signatures were from people asking him not to divorce the 18,000 married same-sex couples in California.

The text that signers put their names to reads: “Your attempt to nullify the marriages of 18,000 loving couples in California is misguided and malicious.

The rights of a minority should never be stripped by a simple majority vote, and the idea that divorcing parents could help the welfare of children is disgusting. History will condemn your actions.”

Something tells me Starr isn’t much interested in what history has to say about him. I mean, have your read the Starr report on the adventures of Bill Clinton’s penis? Q

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Lambda Lore The Age of Aquarius

by Ben Williams

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1969 began with the nation still mourning the death of former President Dwight D. Eisenhower on March 28. His death signaled the close of one era â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the 1940s and â&#x20AC;&#x2122;50s â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and truly the beginning of another. The baby boomers, born after World War Two, were now pre-teens, teens and college students by the millions, and they were exploding onto the social scene and dominating it by the sheer weight of their numbers.

At the start of that month I was still in high school, a senior with a dark secret.

I was in love with a boy, and while this was terrifying, it was also exhilarating.

It was my secret love; a love, as Lord Alfred Douglas had written, that dared not speak its name. But as another poet, Bob Dylan, had said to my generation: â&#x20AC;&#x153;The times they are a-changing.â&#x20AC;?

One early April morning my AMradio alarm clock clicked on. As I lay there, deciding whether to deal with the pril

bulge between my legs or get up, I heard the strangely haunting melody of a new song: When the moon is in the Seventh House And Jupiter aligns with Mars Then peace will guide the planets And love will steer the stars This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius The Age of Aquarius!

I immediately sat up and jumped out of bed dancing. The Fifth Dimensionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clarion call was a euphony as well as an epiphany to me. The stars were aligning to usher in love, peace and happiness.

And my happiness was a boy named John Cunningham.

The stars declared to me that even though I would have to register for the draft on my 8th birthday; even though President Nixon was proposing a national lottery for the draft; even though my school counselor said I was too stu-

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pid for college and I should join the ser- on beards or long hair.â&#x20AC;? Elder Delbert vice before I was drafted, it was the Age L. Stapley, chair of the executive comof Aquarius. mittee, reminded BYU President EarAcross the nation others must have nest Wilkinson that â&#x20AC;&#x153;a positive position heard the Sufi call of the Age of Aquar- should be takenâ&#x20AC;? instead of threatening ius, too that month; people were on the students with expulsion. This policy of move demanding equality for all and an allowing males to sport beards would end to war. soon be annulled by hardliners worried A world away from me, at City Col- about the schoolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wholesome image. lege in New York City, an organization While BYU struggled with facial hair, called Homosexuals Intransigent! was the rest of America struggled with sobeing chartered. It was founded April cial unrest that was fermenting from 1 by a young man named Craig Schoon- the rising casualties and unpopularity maker who wrote in his newsletter Ho- of the Vietnam War; the militancy of mosexual Renaissance: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Most groups in civil rights movement after the death the homosexual civil rights movement of Martin Luther King, Jr. in April 1968; call themselves homophile organiza- the growing poverty in America; and tions. We think the word homophile is the dissolution of Lyndon B. Johnsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a stupid, cowardly euphemism â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and vision of a Great Society. However, in one uses euphemisms only when there Utah things went on as they ever did. is something wrong with the ordinary At April General Conference 1969, word. We see nothing wrong with the LDS church leaders expounded on word homosexual. Intransigent on cer- race relations, sexual iniquity and the tain points, there can be no compro- importance of families. On the Negro mise. Homosexuals must demand their Question they said the same old-same rights undiluted. We must be militant: old, â&#x20AC;&#x153;We feel nothing but love, compasintransigent.â&#x20AC;? sion, and the deepest appreciation for A week later on April 9, over 300 the rich talents, endowments, and the Harvard University anti-war students, earnest strivings of our Negro brothers mostly members of the Students for a and sisters...â&#x20AC;? while denying them acDemocratic Society, seized the univer- cess to Temple endowments and Celessityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s administration building in Cam- tial Marriages. bridge, Mass. About 400 state troopers John Bircher Ezra Taft Benson spoke and police officers cleared them out on the need to have big families, saying, with tear gas and bloody beatings. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The first commandment given to man The same day on the West Coast, a was to multiply and replenish the earth group called Committee for Homosexu- with children. That commandment has al Freedom was formed in San Francis- never been altered, modified, or canco by Leo Laurence and Gale Whitting- celed.â&#x20AC;? And 95-year-old church Presiton. This gay rights group was made up dent David O. McKay declared, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Except mostly of Haight Ashbury hippie-radi- in cases of infidelity or other extreme cals who were tired of being hassled â&#x20AC;&#x153;by conditions, the Church frowns upon dithe man.â&#x20AC;? The fledgling groupâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s main vorce,â&#x20AC;? as the real threat to marriage. purpose was stated as ending the firThe most disturbing Mormon coming of people simply for being gay. â&#x20AC;&#x153;A ments on society in 1969 came from a manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s performance on his job should book written by Spencer W. Kimball enbe the only criterion for his continued titled The Miracle of Forgiveness. In a employment,â&#x20AC;? they contended. chapter called â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Crime Against NaWhile many of the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s universi- ture,â&#x20AC;? Kimball claimed masturbation ties were seething volatile settings for led to homosexuality, which in turn, led social discontentment, at the Univer- to bestiality. This bookâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s impact would sity of California at Los Angeles, a man not have been much if Kimball had not named Steve Crocker came up with ascended to the Mormon First Presia novel concept called the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Network dency in 1973. His position added a speWorking Group Request for Comment.â&#x20AC;? cial legitimacy to its silly assertions.

April 7 is recognized as the symbolic Finally, there was a glimmer of hope birth date of the internet, which began that things could change even in Utah. with Crockerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s publication of RFC 1. In 1960, a birth control pill for women Where would gay people be without the was FDA approved. By 1963, 1.2 milinternet? lion women were using it. This in turn While progressives in California spawned the feminist movement and were dreaming up ways for comput- contributed to the sexual revolution of ers to speak to each other, the Lordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the 1960s. Nine years after the pill was University in Provo was pondering the introduced, the Mormon First Presidenweighty matter of male facial hair. Re- cy made â&#x20AC;&#x201D; for the first time â&#x20AC;&#x201D; an official alizing they had not adopted an official statement about the use of birth control policy about facial hair, BYU released in general. On April 14, 1969 they said a publication called â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Standards Of- the use of birth control was a â&#x20AC;&#x153;personal fice is Your Friendâ&#x20AC;? on April 10. The fol- decision.â&#x20AC;? But not leaving well enough lowing day an ad hoc Dress Standards alone, they had to add, â&#x20AC;&#x153;we believe that Committee reaffirmed that â&#x20AC;&#x153;beards those who practice birth control will that are neat and well-trimmed are ac- reap disappointment by and by.â&#x20AC;? ceptableâ&#x20AC;? at the university. Sending Still, the message was that you can the decision on to the schoolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Board have sex without the intention of proof Trustees, the board ruled the fol- creating, and that was progress. So perlowing month that readmission to the haps even in Utah it was the dawning of university could not be based â&#x20AC;&#x153;solely the Age of Aquarius. Q 1 8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 125 | A pril 2, 20 09

Gay Geeks The Big, Blue Dong

by JoSelle Vanderhooft

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his column is about the movie

Watchmen.

I just slapped in the headline so we could all have our loud, immature giggle at Dr. Manhattan’s gratuitous full-frontal male nudity that every single U.S.-based Watchmen message board, blog and reviewer has been having since March.

Ready, geeky ones? Time to get our sexual inhibitions out of our systems.

Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Hahahaha.

Heeheheheheh! Dickdongpeeeenis!

But, seriously. I had a lot of reservations about a movie version of Alan Moore and David Gibbons’ landmark graphic novel that had nothing to do with whether or not director Zack Snyder would put bootie shorts on everyone’s favorite tank-exploding, atomobsessed, alternate Cold War weapon.

Namely, that Zack Snyder also directed 300, that alternate (read: bullshit) battle of Thermopylae history movie filled with homophobia, rape, men yelling “SPARTAAAA!” rape and more rape.

Add into that Hollywood’s uncanny ability to fuck up any comic book it touches and Moore’s intense dislike for a big screen adaptation (“I will ... be spitting venom all over it,” he told the L.A. Times last year) and I was ... well, as unhappy as Rorschach when deprived of canned beans and sugar cubes.

I mean, Moore is my favorite writer, and Watchmen my favorite book of all time. Not because everyone who has any geek credit says that, either — even if it is sometimes nice to be in the majority.

When I first read Watchmen in 2008 (I know, I know, take away my geek card now!), I was haunted for weeks. Moore’s 1986 ruminations on America’s lust for and glorification of violence, quantum mechanics, Machiavellianism and the fragility and preciousness of human life on our troubled planet were provocative, and more than a little relevant to America in 2008, when the specter of global terrorism had replaced the specter of the Cold War. No other book has ever affected me the way Watchmen has, not even Moore’s other exquisite books (and damn, I do love From Hell).

I don’t believe any will again in quite the same way.

It probably goes without saying that I and Watchmen’s five zillion other fans wouldn’t respond very kindly to a cinematic treatment that didn’t do the source material justice. So did Snyder’s movie?

Um ... he did about as well as I could have hoped — given, especially, that

Watchmen is a sprawling, epic story that would be better off as a TV miniseries, if it had to go in front of a camera at all.

Let’s start with the opening credits.

As non-fans may have already gleaned, the book takes place in a United States where costumed superheroes actually existed. Their existence changed the course of history substantially. Although the Cold War is still bearing down on us, Nixon is serving his third presidential term, the United States won the Vietnam War and it currently has the advantage over Russia thanks to Dr. Manhattan, the book’s only true superhero who, thanks to a nuclear accident, can disarm missiles and blow up tanks with a thought. The credits showed these historical alterations in a beautiful, seamless montage set to Bob Dylan’s “The Times, They are A-Changing.” This, incidentally, was about the time that I realized the movie would probably not suck. Thankfully, the rest of the movie bore out my first impression. Although I still have trouble seeing the 20-something Matthew Goode as the 40-something Ozymandias, none of the actors were particularly jarring, and Billy Crudup was just stunning as Dr. Manhattan — who is blue and naked, by the way, because of the accident, and because of his increasing detachment to such human concerns as the need to put on some pants.

Even though the script had to leave out several important sequences and details, it was a faithful adaptation in both plot and visualization. And if the rumors of a four-hour director’s cut are true, maybe the DVD release will be even more satisfying.

But Snyder didn’t do such a good job when it came to handling the movie’s violence. Make no mistake: Watchmen is an incredibly violent book. But from its fistfights, gunshot wounds and an attempted rape, its violence simply reflects the ugly reality of being human. Snyder, on the other hand, gives the book’s violence a pornographic intensity. We hear bones crack during a back alley, and see severed limbs and guts dangling from a bar ceiling after Dr. Manhattan blows up a vice den. And don’t even get me started on the horrible attempted rape scene between Silk Spectre and the Comedian — who is the horror of the American dream personified. In the book, this scene is shown as disgusting. In the movie, Snyder lets the camera linger on every curve of Silk Spectre’s body, every piece of discarded clothing to the point that I wondered if

the straight men and lesbians in the audience were supposed to feel turned on. Memo to Zack: Rape isn’t sexy, and your straight male privilege is showing more than Dr. M’s big, blue schlong.

Still, these stupid porno moments aside, the movie is definitely solid, and respectful of Moore’s work. So would I recommend it?

To the Watchmen fans who fell in love with the book in 1986 or in 2008, I would say yes. While Moore is right to be concerned and disgusted by what he calls the “spoon-feeding” of the imagination that movies regularly administer, Watchmen is still a solid, thoughtful movie, flaws and all. For the uninitiated, I would suggest reading the book first.

And for people who can’t get beyond Dr. Manhattan’s big, blue peen? Well, I don’t really think I can help you. Q

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2009 Summer Travel

Zürich Will Play Host to EuroPride 2009 Since its was inaugurated in London in 1992, EuroPride has become one of the largest LGBT celebrations in Europe, attracting hundreds of thousands of participants from around the globe.

Organizers in Zürich, the largest city in Switzerland, are planning more than a month of cultural, political, athletic and social events that will kick-off on May 2.

The main draw will be a two-day festival and parade.

The festival, starting on Friday, June 5, and climaxing on Saturday, June 6, will take place in the “EuroPride village” in the city center, where various streets and squares will be closed to play host to exhibitors, food vendors, open air concerts and street artists. On Saturday there will also be a political rally with various inspirational speakers. The parade will also be on Saturday, traveling through the beautiful inner city of Zürich with a convoy of tens of thousands of revelers from all over the world following.

And of course, as Zürich is the city which is quickly becoming known as the party capital of Europe (Zürich has more bars and clubs per capita than any other European city), there will be numerous exciting parties and special circuit-style events coinciding with EuroPride.

Pack up your swim suit (or not) and your sun tan lotion and get ready for a summer full of travel. Here are a sampling of gayrelated travel opporunities we dug up for you:

Palm Springs’ White Party is in its 20th Year Palm Springs’ 20th anniversary White Party is happening in the next few days and promoters have added more nights and more entertainment for even more exciting reasons to attend.

Earlier this month it was announced that Erasure’s openly-gay Andy Bell was joining the lineup. Now, on Thursday, April 9, two pre-kick-off parties have been added.

The popular Oasis nightclub and lounge will host a welcome party from 9 p.m. to 4 a.m., with DJ Morningstar. A $10 cover will be charged.

Gay social networking site Manhunt and White Party host Jeffrey Sanker, will co-host a special fundraiser for the Desert AIDS Project, which provides medical care and support services to people living with HIV/AIDS in the Palm Springs area. The event will feature DJ Casey Alva, open bar, hors d’oeuvres and silent auction. Tickets are $75 per person with limited availability.

In addition, singer/songwriter Matt Zarley will join the party and perform live on Sunday, April 12, between 11 a.m.

and 3 p.m. poolside at the Wyndham Hotel. Zarley’s last album, Here I Am, was a 2008 Billboard Critics Top 10.

While not an official White Party event, the Desert AIDS Project and and the National Association of People with AIDS (NAPWA) will hold a special meeting on Friday, April 10. The “AIDS in America: Healthy Living Expo” is one in a series of regional gatherings for NAPWA. The Expo is an opportunity for those living with HIV/AIDS to talk about their concerns to advocate for more effective local, state and federal policies. David Brinkman, executive director of Desert AIDS Project, said in a statement to The Desert Sun, “Although advocacy is a core element of our mission at [Desert AIDS Project], I think this Expo presents a great opportunity for our clients to become more effective self-advocates.”

The Expo starts at 9:00 a.m. at the Palm Springs Convention Center. The event is free to the public, but advance registration is required for admittance.

Registration includes lunch, meeting materials and an evening social.

100,000 Expected at Walt Disney World’s Gay Days

Gay Men’s HIV+ Cruise Sets Sail in October

Gay Days has become almost as much a part of Walt Disney World as Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck.

Since it began in 1991, when Gay Days was just Gay Day, the annual LGBT pilgrimage to Orlando’s Walt Disney World Resort has grown to become one of the community’s most popular events. Attendance for this year’s festivities, June 2–8, is expected to top well over 100,000.

Organizers of Gay Days have an agenda packed full of events and activities from pool parties to comedy shows with Wanda Sykes and Kate Clinton. There is also an entire series of events designed especially for woman attendees — Girls at Gay Days.

Promoter Johnny Chisholm is also planning Gay Days companion events as part of his “One Mighty Weekend” circuit event. As a new addition to the party-filled schedule, attendees can join softball, tennis, indoor volleyball competitions and a 5K run, which will all be held at Disney’s Wide World of Sports Complex.

Tickets for all events are currently available. However, attendees are encouraged to make travel arrangements early as host hotels and many events have traditionally sold out well in advance.

Gay men living with HIV can participate in a unique travel experience: the Fifth Annual Gay Men’s HIV+ Cruise.

The nine-day, eight-night cruise, will offer social events as well as informative lectures, including Q&A sessions from top HIV specialists. The featured speaker will be Dr. Michael Wohlfeiler, medical director of special immunology services at Mercy Hospital in Miami, Florida.

The cruise will be aboard the Carnival Freedom, departing from Ft Lauderdale on Saturday, October 10, 2009, with stops in San Juan, St Thomas, Antigua, Tortola and Nassau. It returns to Ft Lauderdale on Sunday, October 18. A passport is required.

Rates start at only $489 (plus taxes) per person, based on double occupancy.

Registration includes all meals, entertainment and activities as well as special private parties. Each booked cabin includes a $100.00 ship board credit.

There are also customized shore excursions exclusively designed for the group at rates that are lower than what the cruise line offers.

Each year, organizers contribute a portion of the proceeds to various HIV organizations. To date, more than $35,000 has been donated.

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Pride Events in the West Arizona Flagstaff, Pride in the Pines, June 13–15 Phoenix, Party in the Park, April 18–19

California Bakersfield, BakersfieldPride.org, Oct. Fresno, FresnoRainbowPride.com, June 6 Long Beach, LongBeachPride.org, May 16–17 Los Angeles, LAPride.org, June 12–14 Studio City, LAValleyPride.org, Oct. 11 Monterey, MontereyPride.org, July Palmdale, Antelope Valley Pride, June 20 Riverside, Riverside G&L Pride, August San Diego, SDPride.org, July 18–19 San Francisco, SFPride.org, June 27–28 San Francisco Up Your Alley, upyouralley. com, July 26 San Francisco Folsom St Fair, Sept. 27 San Jose, SanJosePride.com, June 13–14 San Luis Obispo, Central Coast Pride Festival, July Santa Barbara, PacificPrideFestival.org, July 11 Santa Clarita/Knott’s Berry Farm, OCPride.org, May 15 Torrance, Annual Pride Picnic, September

Idaho Boise, BoisePride.org, June 20 Pocatello, PrIdaho.org, August Moscow, myspace.com/palouse_pride, Aug.

Montana Kalispell, myspace.com/KalispellPride,

Nevada Las Vegas, LasVegasPride.org, May 1–2 Reno, RenoGayPride.com, Aug. 15

New Mexico Albuquerque, ABQPride.com, June 11–13 Las Cruces, SouthernNMPride.org, June 20 Santa Fe, SantaFeHRA.org, June 20–29

Oregon Eugene, EugenePride.org, Aug. 8 Portland, PrideNW.org, June 13–14

Utah Salt Lake City, UtahPride.org, June 5–7 Southern Utah Pride, cancelled

Washington Bremerton, KitsapPride.org, July 18 Olympia, CapitolCityPride.net, June 20–21 Seattle, SeattlePride.org, JUne 28 Spokane, OutSpokane.com, June 13 Tacoma, myspace.com/OutInTacoma_org, July

Pride Across the U.S. Alabama Birmingham, centralalabamapride.org, June 5–14 Mobile, mobilealabamapride.com, April 24–26

Arkansas Eureka Springs, eurekapride.com, Aug. 7–9

Connecticut Hartford, June 6 connecticutpride.org

Delaware Rehoboth, Sep. 19 delawarepride.org

Florida St. Petersburg, June 27 stpetepride.com

georgia Atlanta, alantapride.org, Oct. 31–Nov. 1

Illinois Chicago, chicagopridecalendar.org, June 28 Continued on Page 24

PHOTO: DEMARCIO SLAUGHTER

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A pril 2, 20 09 | issue 125 | QSa lt L a k e | 23

Gay Pride Season Kicks Off in Phoenix

While gay Pride celebrations have traditionally been held in June to commemorate the famed Stonewall Riot, which happened late June 1969, one can now find a Pride celebration somewhere in the world almost any weekend of the year.

In the United States, Pride events still dominate the June calendar but in the Arizona desert city of Phoenix the average high temperature is 103 in June.

As such, Phoenix Pride is now held annually in April, when the average high is a comfortable 84, making it one of the earliest — and largest — Pride events of the year.

For 2009, Phoenix will hold its Pride the weekend of Saturday, April 18 and Sunday, April 19.

There will be a two-day outdoor festival held at the Steele Indian School Park (Third Street & Indian School Road), from noon to 9:00 p.m. each day.

The festival will include more than 250 exhibitors, entertainment and speakers, an art expo featuring local artists, food court and a kids area for children age 4 to 10 accompanied by an adult. The cost for the festival is $25 for the weekend or $15 for a day pass.

On Saturday there will be a Pride Parade down Third Street and ending adjacent to festival grounds. The parade will step-off at 11 a.m. and include dozens of entries. The grand marshals will be longtime community activist Linda Hoffman and Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon.

Phoenix Pride draws visitors from the surrounding cities of Scottsdale, Tempe and Mesa, across the state of Arizona and around the world. Phoenix has grown to become the fifth-largest city in the country with a population of more than 1.4 million people, with a very visible and active LGBT community.

R Family Vacations Plans Star-studded Summer Cruise R Family Vacations, the family-friendly vacation specialists catering to the gay and lesbian community led by travel entrepreneurs Gregg Kaminsky and Kelli O’Donnell (wife of actress and entertainer Rosie O’Donnell), is offering a summer adventure cruise to Alaska aboard the 2,240-passenger Norwegian Star from July 11-18, 2009, round-trip from Seattle.

The seven-day Sawyer Glacier cruise departs Seattle on July 11 and sails to Ketchikan, Juneau and Skagway, Alaska and Prince Rupert, British Columbia.

For all U.S. citizens, a valid passport is required for travel to Canada.

R Family Vacations is known for their top-tier entertainment and programming. This year, the entertainment lineup includes: • Caroline Rhea, stand-up comedian and actress; • R Family’s Belters Show featuring Broadway cast members from Wicked, Les Miserables, Thoroughly Modern Millie, Chicago, and Xanadu; • Emmy-award winner Judy Gold’s “Mommy Queerest;” • Comedians Jessica Kirson (Last Comic Standing) and Seth Rudetsky (Sirius Radio and author); • Ross Mathews (The Tonight Show, Celebrity Fit Club, and The Insider); • NYC Piano Bar with Brian Nash; • “Original Circuit DJ” (and gay father) David Knapp.

There will also be a performance from members of GALA choruses from all over the U.S., including the Seattle Men’s Chorus famous “Captain Smarty Pants.”

The Family Equality Council led by Executive Director Jennifer Chrisler is organizing educational workshops and discussions including seminars on gay adoption, surrogacy, gay marriage and a teen panel. R Family also offers fun-filled themed deck parties, fitness lectures and classes and Rosie’s Broadway Kids, which gives guests the opportunity to

Pride Across the Globe Amsterdam, Netherlands, July 26-Aug.2 amsterdampride.nl Barcelona, Spain, June 27 Belfast, Ireland, July 25 belfastpride.com Berlin, Germany, June 27 csd-berlin.de Birmingham, England, May 23-24 birminghampride.com Brisbane, Australia, June 13 pride.proof.me Brussels, Belgium, May 16 blgp.be Budapest, Hungary, July 5-12 budapestpride.hu Calgary, Canada, Sep. 6 pridecalgary.ca Cologne, Germany, June 20-July 5 csd-cologne.de Copenhagen, Denmark, July 25-Aug. 2 copenhagenpride.dk Dublin, Ireland, June 18-28 dublinpride.ie Edinburgh, Scotland , June 27 pride-scotia.org Glasgow, Scotland, Oct. 8-Nov. 8 glasgay.co.uk

Detailed information about visiting Phoenix, is available from the Greater Phoenix Convention & Visitors Bureau.

2 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 125 | A pril 2, 20 09

Pride Across the U.S. Continued from Page 22

Indiana Fort Wayne, July 24–25 fortwaynepride.org Indianapolis, June 6–14 indyprideinc.com

Iowa Des Moines, capitalcitypride.org, June 12–14

Kentucky Louisville, kentuckianpridefestival.com, June 19–20

Louisiana New Orleans, gayprideneworleans.com, June

Maryland Baltimore, baltimorepride.org, June 20–21

Massachussetts

learn a Broadway routine and perform it in the ship’s theater.

According to research by Washingtonbased Witeck-Combs Communications, approximately one in four gay men and lesbians live in households with children under the age of 18.

“As a GLBT parent, our cruises are a perfect way for my kids to spend time with families just like their own. Also, my straight friends and family also sail with us and find that it’s a vacation that they know everyone feels welcome and they can enjoy entertainment only offered on our cruise. Of course, kids are not required and our biggest growth has been our GLBT guests who like the mixed atmosphere and not so focused on all-night parties,” said Kelli O’Donnell, R Family Vacations co-founder.

Guests of all ages will appreciate Norwegian Star’s deluxe range of choices in staterooms, many with ocean views and balconies, in addition to an array of plush and artfully appointed suites and villas. The ship features 12 restaurants, nine bars and lounges, a dynamic casino, a spa and fitness center. Among the many on-board activities are two glimmering pools, a basketball court, golf driving net and jogging/walking track.

The cruise can be booked by calling R Family Vacations at 866-732-6822. The cruise is priced from $799 (plus gratuity, taxes and fees) per person, based on double occupancy.

Gran Canaria, Canary Islands, May 4-10 gaypridemaspalomas.com Halifax, Nova Scotia, July 25 halifaxpride.com Helsinki, Finland, June 23-29 helsinkipride.fi Johannesburg, South Africa, Oct. 3 sapride.org Lisbon, Portugal, June 23-30 portugalpride.org London, England, July 4 pridelondon.org Marseille, France, July 4 marseillepride.org Montreal, Canada, July 26-Aug. 2 diversecite.org Moscow, Russia, June 1 gayrussia.ru Munich, Germany, July 4-12 csd-munich.de Ottawa, Canada, Aug. 21-30 capitalpride.ca Oxford, England, May 29-June 7 oxfordpride.org.uk Reykjavik, Iceland, Aug. 6-9 gaypride.is Rome, Italy, May 13 mariomieli.org Toronto, Canada, June 19-28 pridetoronto.com Vancouver, Canada, Aug. 2 vancouverpride.ca Zurich, Switzerland, May 2-June 7 csdzurich.ch

Boston, June 5–14 bostonpride.org Cape Cod, Aug. 25 North Hampton, May 2 northhamptonpride.org

Michigan Grand Rapids, westmipride.org, June 20 Lansing, michiganpride.org, June 13

Minnesota Minneapolis/St. Paul, tcpride.org, June 27–28

Missouri Columbia, June 13

Nebraska Lincoln, rainbowcelebrations.org, June 20–21 Omaha, June 13–21

New Jersey Asbury Park, jerseypride.org, June 7 Newark, June 8–14

New York Albany, cdglcc.org, June 12–14 Brooklyn, brooklynpride.org, June 9–13 Long Island, liprideparade.com, June 14 New York City, nycpride.org, June 20–28

North Carolina Charlotte, pridecharlotte.com, July 25 Durham/Raleigh, Sep. 26 ncpride.org

North Dakota Bismarck, dakotaoutright.org, July 23–26

Ohio Cincinnati, cincyglbt.com, June 13–14 Columbus, columbuspride.org, June 19–20 Cleveland, clevelandpride.org, June 20

Oklahoma Oklahoma City, okcpride.org, June 27–28

Pennsylvania Allentown, prideglv.org, Aug. 16 Erie, eriegaypride.org, July 25–26 Harrisburg, harrisburgpride.org, July 24–26 Philadelphia, phillypride.org, June 14

South Carolina Columbia, scpride.org, Sep. 12

South Dakota Rapid City, bhpride.org, May 28–31

Tennessee Nashville, nashvillepride.org, June 20

Vermont Burlington, pridevt.com, July 25

Virginia Fredericksburg, fredpride.com, Sep. 6–13 Roanoke, roanokepride.com, Sep. 20

West Virginia Charleston, pridewv.org, May 30–June 8

Wisconsin La Crosse, Aug. 22 Milwaukee, pridefest.com, June 12–14

On the Cheap Despite the economic recession, gay travelers aren’t curbing their travel spending habits and it has the travel and tourism industry in a race to grab a slice of the market.

But the economy may have some gay travelers seeking some bargains for this year’s travels. We’ve dug up some specials being offered around the country: For a limitied time, Blue Moon Resort, Las Vegas’ only hotel exclusively for gay men, is offering their standard rooms starting at $69 per night for midweek and $99 per night for weekends. The resort is also offering discounted room and airfare packages in partnership with US Airways Vacations.

In the Pennsylvania’s Pocono Mountains, Rainbow Mountain Resort is offering its LGBT guests an “extended weekend” special. Stay at the resort for two weekend nights in June, July or August (excluding Fourth of July weekend), and you can add either Thursday night or Sunday night in the same room for free. If you are staying three nights over the Fourth of July weekend, you can add either Wednesday night or Sunday night in the same room for free.

Maui Sunseeker, a 17-guestroom property in Hawaii catering primarily to LGBT

travelers, is offering a “buy five nights and get the sixth night free” promotion for guests staying between April 1 and Aug. 31, 2009; reservations must be made by March 31.

Fort Lauderdale’s largest gay men’s resort, The Grand Resort and Spa, is offering 10 percent discount and a free nights stay combo for guests staying at least four consecutive nights between June 1 and Oct. 25, 2009; reservations much be made by April 30.

Orbitz is giving LGBT travelers an opportunity to save $200 off their next flight and hotel vacation package of five or more nights to any international destinations with promotion code ­GAYPASSPORT. Book by April 30 for travel through June 15, 2009.

As part of a special promotion with the International Gay and Lesbian Travel Association, enter rate code GLT when booking a room at any Kimpton Hotel in the United States or Canada and receive 10 percent off the best available rate. Kimpton was the first hotel group to achieve a 100 percent HRC Corporate Equality Index.

Just in time for whale watching season, the quaint Admiral’s Landing, in Provincetown (P-town), Mass., is offering a three-night stay for the price of two. Room rates range from just $85 to

$100 per night. The offer is good through April 30.

For a limited time, American Airlines, one of the most gay-friendly of all U.S. airlines, is offering an additional $200 off its already discounted Hawaii vacation packages that include air and hotel. To qualify, your travel most be booked by April 5, 2009, and complete

by July 1, 2009. When booking use promo code HAW200. In addition to the saving, you’ll earn 500 AAdvantage bonus miles when you book online at AAVacations.com.

The LGBT-friendly Park Manor Suites in San Diego is offering rooms starting at $119 per night. This historic, all-suites hotel is located on the edge of beautiful Balboa Park, between downtown San Diego and the Hillcrest neighborhood.

In the heart of Montreal’s “Gay Village,” Le Houseboy Bed & Breakfast has rooms until the the end of April for as little as $45 CAD per night.

The Highlands Inn, an award-winning lesbian guesthouse in the picturesque mountains of Bethlehem, New Hampshire, is running a spring special: stay three nights in March, April or May and get the third night at half the regular price (excludes Memorial Day weekend).

“

” 86 ‘B’ STREET

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1866 W. GOLDRUSH CIRCLE

$199,000 4 Bed / 2 Bath

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$143,000 to $184,500

TAKE A VISUAL TOUR AT: www.marmaladesquare.net

JULIE SILVEOUS

REALTOR® Urban Utah Homes & Estates 801-502-4507 (Cell) 801-595-8824 (Office) julies@urbanutah.com

A pril 2, 20 09 | issue 125 | QSa lt L a k e | 25

www.urbanutah.com

801.747.1236 Office 801.755.1794 Mobile 801.303.9075 Direct Fax steven.simmons@chl.cc

11

SATURDAY — Lambda Hik-

Q A&E Gay Agenda Oy, Jewish Girls Have Chutzpah But Not Schlongs

by Tony Hobday

I’ve come to the realization that the nicotine patches I’m using are curbing the need to smoke into the need to shop infomercially. In the past two weeks, I’ve bought the Snuggie, ExtenZe, the Shamwow, a President Obama commemorative plate, a Blo & Go (it’s purpose much different than I thought) and a Loud N Clear.

So I’m no longer a wheezing, stinky yellow-finger; I’m a hung, bionic, feathered-hair gay man who licks his plate clean after every meal.

2

thursDAY — The Academy of Performing Arts presents A Trilogy of Tragedies. The three classic Greek one-act plays are, Electra, The Furies, and the popular story of Antigone. Journey back thousands of years to experience the supernatural, mythical and historical characters of Ancient Greece.

7:30pm, through April 6, Academy of Performing Arts, 2207 S. Main Street. Tickets $12–14, 801-486-2728.

3

FRIDAY — The man, the myth and the self-doubt of Leonardo da Vinci, widely considered the most diversely talented person ever to have lived (except myself, of course), is disected in the world premiere of Di Esperienza (Of Experience) written by local hottie Matthew Ivan Bennett and directed by that “big homo,” the wonderful Jerry Rapier. Were you aware that da Vinci was obssesed with men’s butts? The similarities between him and I are staggering.

8pm, through April 19, Studio Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $20, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org.

new awareness of the profundity of our interpersonal world.

8pm, through Saturday, Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $20, 355-ARTS or arttix.org.

4

SATURDAY — Kevin Christensen and Jacob Johnson present a new late night cabaret-style musical show called Cast Party SLC, which premieres tonight for a four-week run.

The late night shows will feature loads of local theatre talent singing everything from Broadway showtunes to sassy, tongue-in-cheek gems.

10:30pm, Saturdays through April 25, Chapel Theatre, Salt Lake Acting Company, 168 W. 500 North. Tickets $5 at the door, myspace.com/castpartyslc.

9

THURSDAY — Repertory

Dance Theatre reprises Zvi Gotheiner’s beloved Chairs, his fierce and haunting work for nine dancers and nine chairs. Called “flawless,” “visually stunning” and “beautifully shaped,” the solos, duets and quartets reveal the full spectrum of human emotion and experience. Buoyant, bold and ultimately breathtaking, Chairs mirrors modern life with exquisite empathy.

8pm, through April 12, Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $30, 355-ARTS or arttix.org.

10

FRIDAY — What hap-

pens when five dancers go through an awareness process to explore their dreams, moods, body symptoms, childhood dreams and their personal edges to the unknown? How does dance get created out of this dreaming process of the body? What dream is unfolding in QQ “Just when you thought science you right now? How are you already geeks and art snobs had nothing in dancing it? Theses are the questions common, along comes Waves of Mu.” asked and hopefully answered in The Amy Caron’s complex two-room Dreamfigure’s Ball. This showing installation performance drives mulis part of the final project requiretidisciplinary art headlong into new ments by Matt Stella toward fulfillterritory. Her warped lab/lecture/ experiment gives a nod and a wink to ment of a Masters of Arts in Process hard science while cleverly activating Work.

her “test subjects” to cheer, cringe and discover, through experience, a

7:30pm, Sugar Space, 616 Wilmington Ave. Free but donations are recommended, 888300-7898 or thesugarspace.com.

26 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 125 | A pril 2, 20 09

ing Club’s first outing of the season is Jackson Rathbone (Don’t I wish!) ... no, actually it’s an easy hike up City Creek Canyon above the easy cruising of Memory Grove. Hmmm ... now I’m torn. A lovely walk through beautiful terrain or a hot, sticky roll in the dirt?

10am, meet in parking lot at 700 E. 200 South. Free, gayhike.org.

13

MONDAY — Susannah Perlman (Last Comic Standing) hosts Nice Jewish Girls Gone Bad, a refreshing mix of comedy, music, spoken-word and showstopping burlesque, featuring the gals who learned to smoke at Hebrew School, got drunk at their Bat-Mitzvahs and would rather have more schtuppa than the chupah. It features a rotating cast of comedians Ophira Eisenberg (Comedy Central), Shawn Pelofsky and kicks provided by Sister Schmaltz, Klezmer punk and funk by house band, The Four Skins.

8pm, I.J. & Jeanné Wagner Jewish Community Center, 2 North Medical Drive, UofU. Tickets $10–15, 801-581-0098.

Fall Out Boys’ sexy, straight and gayfriendly lyricist/guitarist Pete Wentz certainly brings a queer note to the band’s personality — his mascaraed eyes and size-five women’s jeans — but, the real charm of this sensational band is their unforgettable alternative rock music. They take the stage tonight with Cobra Starship, Metro Station, All Time Low and Hey Monday.

5:30pm, Saltair, 12408 W Salt Air Drive, Magna. Tickets $36–150, 801-467-8499 or smithstix.com.

14

TUESDAY — Her life has been a real circus and therefore this circus will beat Barnum & Bailey’s hands down. Britney Spears, the 27-year-old pop diva (some say the next Madonna), will dance and sing her well-known cootchie off to such hits as “Womanizer,” “Piece of Me” and “Oops! I Did it Again.”

8pm, Energy Solutions Arena, 301 W. South Temple. Tickets $37.50–125, 866448-7849 or ticketmaster.com.

QQ If your first thought of Britney Spears is “You Drive Me Crazy,” then you may consider checking out B.B. King, the renowned blues singer/songwriter. Even now, at the age of 83, this incredible artist can get a crowd singing the blues.

The 15-time Grammy winner takes the stage with Lukas Nelson & The Promise Of The Real.

7:30pm, Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, UofU. Tickets $60–65, 801581-7100 or kingtix.com.

UPCOMING EVENTS JUN. 20 B-52s, Peppermill Concert Hall, Wendover AUG. 25 Depeche Mode, E Center SEP. 01 Dave Matthews Band, USANA

B Scene

by Tony Hobday

Here are my top picks for fantabulicious things to do.

Both are sure to get your blood boiling ... but for very different reasons, I’m certain. I just hope you take my advice and experience them both so I don’t have to bitch-slap you for your gay insubordination.

4

SATURDAY — The season finale of The Fabulous Fun Bus to Wendover starring the luscious Ruby Ridge and featuring another strangely erotic cameo appearance by George, the tour bus liaison, will offer a nail-biting cliffhanger. Be aboard to witness humiliating bingo party fouls, Ruby’s newest humiliating outfit and which poor bastard will get locked in the cammode with Michael Aaron.

Noon–9pm, pick-up at Club TryAngles, a private club for members, 251 W. 900 South. Tickets $21, 801649-6663 or qsaltlake.com.

10

FRIDAY — I saw Pioneer Theatre Company’s production of John Patrick Shanley’s Doubt last year and was moved and angered by its story. Then late last year it was made into an Oscarnominated film starring the incomparable Meryl Streep.

A charismatic priest, Father Flynn, is trying to upend a school’s strict customs, which have long been fiercely guarded by Sister Aloysius Beauvier, the iron-gloved principal who believes in the power of fear and discipline.

When Sister James, played

by Amy Adams, shares with Sister Aloysius her suspicion that Father Flynn is paying inappropriate attention to a new male student, Sister Aloysius is galvanized to both unearth the truth and dismiss Flynn from the school.

7pm, through Saturday & 6pm, Sunday, Jim Santy Auditorium, Park City Library, 1255 Park Ave. Tickets $7, parkcityfilms.com.

Going Gaga

by Chris Azzopardi

As if it needed to, a text to Lady Gaga told her she had arrived.

As far as her dance-grooves go, she’s chachinged two hit singles — the gay-loved club jams “Just Dance” and “Poker Face,” both Top 10 songs.

But this message wasn’t talking about her tunes. This was about Lady Gaga: Trendsetter.

She was overseas, where she had been for a couple of months before gabbing with us last week, when the text popped up on her cell. It was from her friend (and once-collaborative partner), New York City hard-rock DJ Lady Starlight, who spotted somebody on the subway wearing a black hoodie, tights and square sunglasses. Sound familiar?

“I was laughing,” giggles Gaga, from her Los Angeles apartment, regarding the imitator mimicking her outrageous everything-goes style. And that’s not the first (we’re talking to you, Christina Aguilera). “I’m not making videos and fashion statements just for myself. It’s leading my internal desire — or external, rather — to change things. So I’m quite pleased.”

That fuzzy feeling extends to her seemingly infinite won-over gays, who can’t seem to go gaga enough over the 22-year-old vixen. Just so you know, it’s mutual. “I adore the gay community so much,” she says. “My commitment is to continue to play gay clubs no matter how big and successful the project gets. I think sometimes artists, as they begin to fill bigger and bigger venues, they forget where they came from. I’ll never do that.”

She grew up in New York, where she was raised as a good Italian who’d sing along on her mini-plastic tape recorder to Michael Jackson and Cyndi Lauper.

She learned piano by ear at 4. At 13 she wrote her first piano ballad. A year later came open mic nights. Gays just wanted to squeeze her, and while enrolled in acting and dance classes, she buddied up with many of them: “I was always surrounded by gay men and women.”

Then, at 20, she was signed to Interscope Records, writing songs — she recently compared doing so to barebacking in Blender Magazine — for the Pussycat Dolls before her almost-goldcertified debut, The Fame, was released last year.

Now she’s got Ellen DeGeneres dancing to her music.

“You know she’s seen my boobs?”

Gaga nonchalantly says. “When I was sound checking to do the performance

on her show, I had on a blazer with no bra and my dancers hoisted me into a lift for the second verse; my boobs popped out. I was so embarrassed. And she was laughing.”

We’ve all seen bits and pieces — enough to make her chest a puzzle, pretty much. But in her just-released “LoveGame” video — “very gay,” she calls it — she does more than show off her assets.

She has a lezzy lip-lock. And unlike Katy Perry, it didn’t take no cherry ChapStick to get her there: “It’s not a secret,” she laughs. “I’ve kissed many girls.”

To show her lesbian love, she’ll perform at gay-getaway Dinah Shore Weekend during her first 23-date headlining tour, Fame Ball. “It’s going to be really gay,” insists Gaga, who’s opened up for the Pussycat Dolls and New Kids on the Block. “Everything that I do is very gay.

And I say that with immense pride.”

Gay, and sweat-stimulating hot. And her parents are cool with it — her mom is more interested in her artistry (those shoes! that hair!) than some girl-on-girl action — much to the surprise of dramadigging journalists who ask this question as if what Gaga’s doing is sinful. For a former Catholic schoolgirl, maybe — but, hey, it worked for Madonna and Britney.

“My rebellion is rooted much deeper in my heart than my Catholic school upbringing,” she says, lacing the rebuttal with a sarcastic laugh. “In another way, I don’t really look at what I’m doing as rebellion as much as it is — it’s freeing and it’s liberating. It’s just me, if that makes any sense. It’s just where I feel comfortable.”

Much like Sundays, when the Italian (born Stefani Joanne Germanotta) sometimes eats macaroni with her parents. Before selecting other native dishes she digs, she laughs for a few seconds, noting that her roommate and friend is laughing at her because, “She knows I’m biting my tongue to say something terribly, terribly sexual.”

And then she feeds us her faves — so difficult, she says — naming fresh gravy, meatballs and sausage: “A good Italian girl loves sausage.”

Bad girls, too. Q

A pril 2, 20 09 | issue 125 | QSa lt L a k e | 27

Cedars of Food Lebanon Corkage Fees Uncorked at The New Yorker

0QFO GPS -VODI %JOOFS 4VOEBZT o QN 7FHFUBSJBO 7FHBO 'SJFOEMZ #FMMZ %BODFST 'SJ 4BU /JHIU 'SFF 8JSFMFTT *OUFSOFU "MM :PV $BO &BU -VODI #VGGFU $BUFSJOH "WBJMBCMF

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Whether itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s motivated by reasons of economy or simply to enjoy a vintage from a home wine cellar, some diners prefer bringing in their own bottle of wine to a restaurant. According to New Yorker Chef, Will Pliler, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Although weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re extremely proud of our cellar, we want our guests to feel comfortable letting us uncork and serve their own selection.â&#x20AC;? Diners who bring in their own wine to the New Yorker take advantage of their â&#x20AC;&#x153;no corkage feeâ&#x20AC;? policy. This means that the New Yorker opens and serves the patronâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bottle of wine at no charge. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Packing in a bottle may have negative connotations to some, but it is absolutely fine to bring your own selection to The New Yorker,â&#x20AC;? Pliler says. For those who are uncertain about bringing in a bottle (BYOB), Pliler suggests referring to one of the Web sites that provide corkage etiquette, like www.

foodandwine.com/articles/corkagefor-dummies.

For those who prefer not to BYOB, The New Yorker has a cellar of more than 1,000 bottles of fine wines. Wines by the glass range in price from $10 to $39.

Wine by the glass is served daily, including premium vintages like Caymus Vineyards, Cabernet Sauvignon (Napa Valley 2005), Archery Summit Pinot Noir, Premier Cuvee (Willamette Valley 2006), and Enrico Santini, Poggio al Moro (Bolgheri, Tuscany 2006).

About Utah Liquor Laws: Subject to the discretion of the establishment, patrons may bring in their own bottled wine to licensed restaurants and private clubs for on-premise consumption. Patrons may carry out unfinished wine from a restaurant or private club provided that the bottle has been recorked. Q

ĂŠ f a C Med

SUNDAY BRUNCH IS FUN ONCE AGAIN! Ten Great Menu Items, including Omelets: Pesto, Greek, Western, Shrimp & Asparagus, Denver Breakfast Burrito Beef Steak & Eggs Pork Loin & Eggs Saffron Cream Benedict

420 East 3300 South Salt Lake City 493-0100 Monday - Thursday 11:00am to 10:00pm Friday - Saturday 10:00am to 11:00 pm Sundays 10:00am to 9:00pm

Dining Au Naturale Eclectic menu of quality sandwiches, wraps, sushi, sides 900 E 2100 South Salt Lake City 801-466-8888

Bambara Restaurant New American Bistro menu w/ a “World of Flavors” 202 S Main St Salt Lake City 801-363-5454

Cafe Med Best casual Greek/ Mediterranean dining in town 420 E 3300 South Salt Lake City 801-493-0100

Cedars of Lebanon Authentic Lebanese, Armenian, Israeli, Moroccan, huka 152 E 200 S, SLC 801-364-4096

Market Street grill Salt Lake’s finest seafood restaurant with a great brunch.

2985 E 6580 S, SLC 942-8860 48 W Market St, SLC 322-4668 10702 S River Front Pkwy, S. Jordan 302-2262 260 S 1300 E, SLC 583-8808

Market Street Oyster Bar

Meditrina Small Plates & Wine Bar Encouraging gastronimic exploring in tapas tradition 1394 S West Temple Salt Lake City 801-485-2055

Mestizo Coffeehouse Coffee, art, jam sessions, free gallery West Side 631 W North Temple Suite 700, SLC 801-596-0500

The New Yorker The ‘grand patriarch

Salt Lake’s showcase for dining, conversation, fresh oysters

of Downtown SLC

2985 E 6850 S, SLC 942-8870

363-0166

restaurants’ - Zagat 60 Market St, SLC

Nick-N-Willy’s Hand made pizza you can eat here or take-n-bake.

4536 S Highland Dr Salt Lake City 273-8282 1890 Bonanza Dr Park City 435-658-4872

Red Iguana Best home-made moles and chile verdes in town 736 W North Temple, SLC 801-322-1489

Sage’s Cafe Organic vegetarian, locally grown, fresh 473 E 300 South Salt Lake City 801-322-3790

54 W Market St, SLC 322-4668 10702 S River Front Pkwy, South Jordan 302-2262

Squatter’s Pub Brewery Utah’s favorite microbrewery, great pub menu 147 W 300 S Salt Lake City 801-363-2739

Squatters Roadhouse grill 1900 Park Ave Park City 435-649-9868

Tin Angel Cafe Mediterranean bistro style 365 W 400 South Salt Lake City 801-328-4155

Trolley Wings Company Wings and beer Trolley Square under the water tower 801-538-0745

To get listed

Restaurant Owners get your restaurant listed here.

in this

Call Brad at 801-649-6663

section, please call 801-

Celebrate Your Love

649-6663 and ask for brad or email brad@ qsaltlake. com

We specialize in enthusiastic service, stunning presentation and exceptional taste!

801.466.2537

1578 South 300 West lecroissantcatering.com • LUNCH • DINNER

COME IN AND BE HAPPY!®

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A pril 2, 20 09 | issue 125 | QSa lt L a k e | 29

SUNDAY BRUNCH NOW AVAILABLE 10-2

Realtor Launches Unplugged Jam Night at Jam Realtor Luke Mann loves two things: selling property in downtown Salt Lake City and acoustic music.

When Club Jam opened its doors on his turf last year, Mann found a way to support local musicians while getting his name out as a realtor. As he saw it, the gay-friendly club was the perfect venue for unplugged artists.

“Jam is more of a lounge venue than a bar,” he explained. “It’s got a really nice atmosphere.”

In February, Mann and Jam’s owners began LIVE@JAM, a weekly acoustic night featuring a variety of talented local musicians such as John Allred, Caroline Bybee and Jen Stensrud. Starting at 9:30 p.m. each Thursday, the solo musician plays an hour-long set for guests seated on Jam’s comfortable couches and chairs. They are also allowed to sell their CDs. “[It] gives musicians another avenue to get their stuff out there,” said Mann.

While the acoustic musicians cover a number of styles, they have a few things in common. So far, said Mann, all have been guitarists (though one keyboardist is scheduled to play later this year). Also, all have been straight so far — though gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender musicians are more than welcome at the all-inclusive club.

To further help LIVE@JAM’s musicians, Mann said he is also starting a company to promote and manage the artists he has met.

Many of them, he said, hold down day jobs and thus have little time to promote their work.

“I’m kind of discovering them,” he said.

“Everyone’s been really good, but a couple of them have been musicians that need to be famous and will be.”

Forthcoming LIVE@JAM performers include Michael Gross and Isaac Haydn. The club is located at 751 North 300 West.

For more information about LIVE@JAM or to inquire about auditioning, contact luke@urbanutah.com.

The Dating Diet Beauty and the Yeast

by Anthony Paull

As friends, let’s keep things on the surface, shall we? After all, talk of ‘lost love’ is the best way to ruin a perfectly good evening, and I’d like this dry martini to go down smooth, very smooth. You heard right. Tonight, I think it’s best not to go too, too deep, because then we might stumble upon sordid, little details our tiny brains might not be able to absorb. And tell me, who wants to dive into a dark, dirty rabbit hole, full of even darker secrets, when you’ve been so happily hopping around the world as if it was a buoyant, multicolored wonderland?

I guess you can say peering through the ‘looking glass’ has tainted me, but that’s part of the fabulous and screwedup world of being Carrie Bradshaw with a penis rather than a dick-nose; sometimes, I have little choice but to pry into the private lives of friends and readers and ask questions I might not want answered. Like for example, why does your boyfriend’s butt smell like the bottom lip of the queer with the Star Trek Enterprise eyebrows working at the MAC counter? And tell me; when did shit-brown become the new pink?

Oh, I know ... I’m going to hell, but I’m demanding a suite right below you so I can get-off listening to you do all the same ‘yummy in my bum’ things you prefer that I not write about.

Yes, we’re all such prudish creatures when we’re at the height of our game, but give a bitch a hot man and a key to a dingy, hourly-rate hotel on Sunset Strip, and BOOM!, watch the fireworks explode. “But no! Wes promised he’d never, ever cheat on me!” my L.A. actorfriend, Willie Boy cries.

My favorite, beautiful blond drama queen, Willie Boy, has been ‘dating’ his boyfriend, Wes, for five-“yes, I said the greatest man on this green earth”months. However, recently he sadly discovered that he’s been getting cheated on all along. Me, I should know better than to ask how he found out. Still, I open my mouth as we walk, rather briskly, under the bamboo fans located at the mall’s food court. Willie’s dying for cheese fries but says he’ll be damned if he gains an ounce and looks like deep-fried dog shit.

That’s the thing about having boyfriend trouble — it works a body good. “So how do you know he really cheated?” I ask.

“Let’s just say I know!” Willie Boy heatedly whispers. Then, searching his black skinny-jean shorts, he pulls out a shiny, silver iPhone. “Take exhibit A,” he says. “His stupid, little slut left him a text to pick him up at the MAC counter, but sadly, Wes never got the message.

That’s because I got to his iphone first.”

In a mad, speed-walking fit, Willie takes on an eerie resemblance to those husband-caged-women you find doing hamster laps around your friendly, deed-restricted neighborhood. He’s all hips, hips, hips.

“That doesn’t prove anything,” I say, trying my damnedest to keep up with him. “Is that all you have?”

“No, I have Chlamydia, gonorrhea,

30 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 125 | A pril 2, 20 09

and a yeast infection that won’t quit. Is that enough evidence for you?!!” Huffing and puffing, he’s zigzagging through a pod of concerned parents, who pull away their confused children, when I grab him by the shoulder.

“Ok. You’re not that fag, and this is NOT your next movie!” I kindly inform him. “You said we were here to go dumpster diving for clearance-rack underwear at Express. So why are you racing to the MAC counter?”

“To punch the make-up off that bitch’s face!” he declares. And that’s when his crying turns to sobbing, and it all leaks on the shiny tile floor. Just in time for the locals to pop their popcorn and take in the festivities.

In sum, Willie Boy says that a friend told him that Wes had been screwing the MAC guy, the one with the tweezed eyebrows, at some nasty hotel for the last five months. Willie Boy failed to believe the torturous tale even though Wes had been waving red flags since their onset. You see, a text-message maniac, Wes was famous for being glued to his iPhone, where he’d receive private messages at the most private of hours. Of course, he’d say they were from his mom or his brother, but deep down, Willie Boy knew the truth. He knew those strange boys on Wes’ Facebook page weren’t merely strangers. He knew why he wasn’t Wes’ No. 1 friend on Myspace. Still, he turned a blind eye until last week when he began experiencing anal itchiness and a shot of fire through his penis every time he peed.

After a doctor visit, Willie boy confronted Wes, who denied the allegation, stating diseases like that can remain dormant for years.

“So let me get this straight,” I say.

“Wes risked your life by lying to you and giving you a rash of STDs, but you’re mad at the MAC guy?” And maybe that was my worst question of all, because right then, I knew his silence meant he was still in love, and that leads to no easy answers, especially when the one you’re mad at most is yourself. Q

Save the Date Major Events of the Community april 10–13, 2009 White Party 09, palm springs jeffreysanker.com april 17, 2009 Day of Silence dayofsilence.org april 18, 2009 Queer Prom utahpridecenter.org april 24, 2009 Rock the Folk OUT Tour, myspace.com/ rockthefolkout May 22–25, 2009 RCGSE Coronation rcgse.org June 5–7, 2009 Utah Pride utahpride.org June 20, 2009 HRC Utah Gala hrcutah.org June 25–28, 2009 Utah Arts Festival uaf.org July 24–26, 2009 Utah Bear Ruckus utahbears.com July 31–August 2, 2009 Utah Rebellion utahrebellion.com August 1–2, 2009 Park City Arts Festival kimball-art.org August 7–8, 2009 Redrock Women’s Music Festival, Torrey redrockwomensfest.com August 16, 2009 QSaltLake Lagoon Day, qsaltlake.com August 19, 2009 Equality Utah Allies Dinner, equalityutah.org August 30, 2009 Center’s Golf Classic utahpridecenter.org October 17, 2009 PWACU Living with AIDS Conference pwacu.org

Anagram An anagram is a word or phrase that can be made using the letters from another word or phrase.

Rearrange the letters below to answer:

This tranny icon will perform at Babylon April 18.

NAPALM ODA REE ______ ______ PUZZLE SOLUTIONS ARE ON PAGE 39

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N ll E WEDNESD u R f B en we are h w JUKEBOX WITH s t S h Y A ig n D R y a U T d OPEN DAILY AT 2PM A r S Satu & y a id r F n o s 251 W 900 S 801-364-3203 line E BAR Avoid the long OUR SCREENS THROUGHOUT TH 1/2 BLOCK FROM 9th S TRAX STATION ON WWW.CLUBTRY-ANGLES.COM A PRIVATE CLUB FOR MEMBERS SHY? TEXT HIM U

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Q Sports Spring Spawns Hiking nation that are well funded, but we are donation only.”

Burks was living in Salt Lake City in the late ’80s and thinking there were many gay and lesbian groups, but none that celebrated enjoying the mountains, the arid deserts, or the volcanic-formed, unique, natural wonders in the central and southern parts of Utah, like Goblin Valley State Park. He began passing out flyers at bars and from that effort, a group was formed.

“We would rather you keep your clothes on,” said Burks, who also said there are naturalists and nudist clubs all over the state, but Lambda Hiking Group is for everyone, including straight allies and children of gay and straight families. “As long as they can handle gay and lesbian people, they are welcome.”

Lambda Hiking Club also welcomes anyone that is HIV-positive or has AIDS, according to Burks, and even handicap people are welcome as long as they inform group leaders of any conditions that everyone should be aware of on a hike.

Ron Steckler has been a part of the

By Brad Di Iorio

Wanna get away? A great way to exercise, enjoy nature in Utah and make new friends is participating in Utah’s gay and lesbian, hiking group, Lambda Hiking Club. A new season of hikes, camping and even a Llama trek are planned this spring and summer. Lambda Hiking Club has planned daytime and weekend trips allowing Utah’s gay and lesbian community a healthy and easy alternative to exercise and enjoy the grandeur of Utah’s diverse environment.

Lambda’s first hike will be an easy hike at City Creek Canyon above Memory Grove, where everyone will be meeting at the parking lot south of the Chevron Station by McDonalds at 200 South 700 East, then sharing rides to the trail head on Saturday morning at 10:00 a.m., April 11.

Open to everyone, Lambda Hiking Club is a free, volunteer-driven group of outdoor enthusiasts, based on the 100-year-old Wasatch Hiking Club.

“We’ve pretty much got the best backyard in the nation,” said founder Randy Burks. “There are other gay and lesbian nature groups throughout the

Q doku

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku is actually five seperate, but connected, Sudoku puzzles.

Medium

8 2 3 4 5 1 3 2 6 5

9 4 7 8 8

6

9

1 5 4 8

3

6 1 5

7 8 3 9 6 7 1 3 2 3 4 6 1 6 5 2 5 8 9 2 6 5 7 3 5 4 3 9 2 7 5 4 6 7 6 4 2 1 2 7 5 8 3

1 2 3 9 5 8 4 3 6

5 6 7 3

4 5 1 3 9 8 8 6 9 7 9 4 4 2 3 5 2 8 5 9 4 8 2 3 6 7 4 9 8 7 4 6 7 5 5 4 9 1 9 2 3 3 2 5 6

32 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 125 | A pril 2, 20 09

8 5 5 4 3

group for the last eight years, and was recently elected president, while Burks has stepped down to allow new leadership to plan and lead the group.

Steckler, originally from the East Coast, took some graduate classes in Bozeman, Utah, fell in love with the West Coast, and after graduation, moved to Jackson Hole, Wyo. “I started an outdoor adventure business in Jackson Hole, which included fly fishing, bike trips, skiing, snowboarding and snow shoe trips, eventually moving to Salt Lake City, and have been enjoying Utah’s great outdoors every since,” said Steckler. “We are a pretty loosely put together group. We just want to keep it so people have a good time and have fun.”

The motto of the group is to “take care of yourself first and then take care of you partner,” according to Steckler, who says invariably someone will show up and forget their water or lunch, and everyone will share with that person.

Recommendations are that each person attending have a comfortable pair of walking shoes, water, a snack if lunch is not planned and a hat to protect from the sun.

“My grandmother could do the City Creek hike. We start out with getting people acclimated to hiking,” Steckler said. “The Mt. Olympus hike at the end of May is a more difficult hike, requiring a high level of energy.” The Web site gives details on the difficulty of the planned event, where and when to meet and who the ‘Trip Leader’ is, with a phone number for questions or inquiries.

“We would like to have more women participate,” Steckler said, but mentioned that he hopes they wouldn’t be intimadated by the number of men that participate.

One of the highlights of the season is a Llama Trekking hike that a member puts together every year, planned in August 2009. “The multiple-day trip is from a Thursday to a Sunday,” said Steckler. “The Llamas carry the packs and we usually give some dollars to Mark, who brings the Llamas to the starting point.” Steckler added that Mark has a Llama farm and enjoys getting the animals out in nature.

1 4 5 9

Check out gayhike.org, email info@gayhike. org, or call 801-645-9779 for more information.

Flag Football Begins Anew

By Brad Di Iorio

4

Another longer trip is a camping weekend in Southern Utah, caravanning, setting up camp along rivers or lakes, and taking day hikes or just relaxing at the camp for the whole weekend.

Steckler said the group plans at having a booth at Pride, getting a larger presence on social networking sites like Facebook, and will be planning parties during the winter months so that members will get familiar with each other and bring new members to enjoy the group and Utah’s wilderness.

A member planning meeting will take place Thursday, June 11, 2009, at the Cocoa Café, at 7:00 p.m. for ideas for hikes, volunteering, and planning the rest of the summer hiking calendar and fall events. Everyone is invited.

After hosting last year’s Gay Bowl VIII, the Mountain West Flag Football League begins practice play on Thursday nights, starting April 9 through June 4, at 6:00 p.m. at Sugar House Park.

Everyone is welcome and all levels are encouraged to participate.

Bring tennis shoes or soft football cleats, warm clothes as it still gets pretty chilly in April, and be ready to learn flag football rules with last year’s players. Teams will be formed by dividing up attendees and playing mock games to get a feel of how the game is played.

Season registration and a clinic will

be held June 11, with season play beginning June 18 through July 30, with games scheduled at 6:30 p.m. This year, Mountain West would like to send a team or two, if there is enough interest, to Chicago Pride Bowl II, June 26–27, in conjunction with Chicago Pride celebration and send a team to Gay Bowl IX, in Washington D.C., on Columbus Day weekend, Oct. 9–12.

For more information visit www.mwffl.org or www.slcgaa.org. The Mountain West Flag Football League is a part of the Salt Lake City Gay Athletic Association, Inc., a non-profit, sports organization.

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Tuesday – $1 drafts with DJ Mike Babbitt Wednesday – SUPERSTAR Karaoke with Travis Thursday – LIVE@JAM with Big City House spinning after Friday FIX with DJ:K Saturday THUMP with DJ TiDY 751 North 300 West Open Tues – Saturday at 5pm

3 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 125 | A pril 2, 20 09

Non-Smoking Great Sicilian Food Available

KARAOKE SUNDAYS AND TUESDAYS

201 East 300 South Salt Lake City 801-519-8900 www.tavernacle.com A Private Club for Members A pril 2, 20 09 | issue 125 | QSa lt L a k e | 35

DOLLAR DRAFTS Sundays, Mondays and Wednesdays OLDIES Mondays DUELING PIANOS Wednesdays through Saturdays

Q Puzzle

Classic Elton Tunes Across 1 Fem accessory 6 What you might be in when you’re out 10 Worn-out horses 14 Lover of Henry and June 15 Blows away 16 Ready to go in 17 Musical tribute to two 20 Windy day toy 21 Test for college srs.

22 Coins featuring Eleanor’s husband 23 Mate in Montreal 24 With 60-Across, song that references Oz 27 Hard-rock center 28 Gay men’s lifestyle magazine 30 Fruitcake 32 It can cut leaves of grass 33 Bosom buddy 35 Place for one’s drawers 36 With 51-Across, song about a fictional band 39 Goya’s naked lady 42 “Sorry about that” 43 “Uh-oh!” of the Bard’s day 47 Ezra Pound, e.g.

49 Evita’s married name 50 Car buyer’s initial purchase?

51 See 36-Across 55 Cube with pips 56 Winter driving hazard 58 AP rival 59 Another white meat 60 See 24-Across 64 Porter’s regretful miss 65 Author Marcus 66 Ask too much 67 Annapolis inst.

68 ‘N Sync member Lance 69 Took a Greyhound Down 1 A guy’s junk 2 Like random shots 3 Giving a lot of mouth 4 Boys on the ___ 5 Subj. for some aliens 6 Where Aida premiered 7 Had title to 8 Trysted 9 Straight-grained wood 10 “___ lay me ...”

11 Work for Disney 12 Book that mentioned Adam but kept Steve a secret?

13 Lamentable scrotum?

18 The I’s have it 19 Genie portrayer Barbara 24 Richard of And the Band Played On

25 Bessie Smith’s specialty 26 Johnny ___ (Nick Adams’ rebel role) 29 Switch from plastic to paper, e.g.

31 Bewilder 33 100 smackers 34 Body part to shoot from 37 Enjoy an Oreo 38 Breaks for Heather’s mommies 39 Love-letter signoff 40 Good luck charms 41 Tom Waddell’s shaft 44 Backbreaking 45 “Metrosexual” or “gaydar” 46 Rubbed the right way 48 “What’s ___ you?”

52 Sui ___ 53 Spartacus and others 54 Start of a Hollywood Squares win 57 Born Free lioness 59 Drop ___ (moon) 61 Cybersex system 62 Cross-dresser’s padding site 63 CIA Cold War opponent Answers on p. 39

Cryptogram

A cryptogram is a puzzle where one letter in the puzzle is substituted with another. For example: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! Has the solution: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! In the above example Es are all replaced by Cs. The puzzle is solved by recognizing letter patterns in words and successively substituting letters until the solution is reached.

This week’s hint: V = H Theme: A quip by actress Portia De Rossi about her gay marriage.

D xdxs’h hvdsg merjh myy hvp fprfyp D imk vjahdsc eq cphhdsc lmaadpx. Hvmh imk kpyzdkv.

_ _ _ _ _ ’_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ______ _ ___ _______ __ _______ _______. ____ ___ _______.

3 6 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 125 | A pril 2, 20 09

Cocktail Chatter Making Your Own Mixers

by Camper English

Today’s nightclub bartenders can mix most of their drinks in a few seconds with one bottle, one squeeze of the cocktail gun and one slice of pre-cut, dried-out lime, but an increasing number of mixological enthusiasts are starting to party like it’s 1899.

Way back when, there were no sour mixes and no Daiquiri-in-a-can and no sodium benzoate in the maraschino cherries. Bartenders of old had to soak, boil, preserve, pickle, clarify, juice, squeeze and otherwise make their own mixers and other ingredients in cocktails. Bartenders of new are getting into it too.

My cocktail nerd friends are judgmental and cruel, which is why I like them, and they’re now at the stage where they must outdo each other with the most labor-intensive, time-consuming, completely unnecessary ingredients and techniques. “So I see you’re using store-bought triple sec,” they’ll say. “How pedestrian.”

The descent into this impressive obsessive behavior that ends in barrel-aging homemade bitters in the basement and ordering Peruvian cinchona tree bark off the internet for freshbrewed tonic water usually begins simply enough, and usually with simple syrup. That’s just sugar and water mixed together. Add the syrup to some fresh lemon or lime juice and you’ve not only got homemade sour mix, you’ve got the ingredients to make basic vodka or gin Gimlets, Whiskey Sours, Lemon Drops, Daiquiris and other drinks. Not bad for two fruits and sugar.

The next phase begins when you look through gourmet cocktail books (the kind that list a couple hundred recipes instead of a couple thousand) and realize how many other flavored syrups you can make at home with fruits like pineapple and herbs like thyme, pomegranate for grenadine, and ginger for homemade ginger ale. Then it’s on to fancy garnishes like smoked salt rims and real maraschino or brandied cherries.

A quick search of the internet will quickly drive you nuts, as you realize there are hundreds of other things you could be making like liqueurs, tinctures and a zillion types of bitters. You may find yourself brining your own olives (a process that takes weeks and can involve dangerous chemicals), stuffing them with gourmet (organic, local) cheese and dropping them into a Martini stirred with homemade vermouth.

Next thing you know, you’re digging up the yard to plant garnish. I live in California, so I am able to utilize my lemon tree for limoncello, plant mint in the yard (caution: it takes over) for Juleps, and harvest my Chia Herb Garden to make basil and cilantro Gimlets. I think globally, and drink locally.

One talented bartender friend of mine won an international cocktail contest with his version of a berry Shrub, an American Colonial-era drink that involves soaking fruit and spices in vinegar and salt for two weeks. (It tastes much better than it sounds.) I offered him my congratulations on winning the contest and said, “So I see you’re using store-bought vinegar.”

Camper English is a cocktails and spirits writer and publisher of Alcademics.com.

WEEKLY E VENTS

SUNDAYS

1. AREA 51

MONDAYS

348 W. 500 South • D P T X 801-534-0819 • area51slc.com

TUESDAYS

WEDNESDAYS

THURSDAYS

FRIDAYS

SATURDAYS

Gay 80s

2. BABYLON at BLISS

404 S. West Temple • D M P 801-860-1083 • myspace.com/babylonslc

Gay Night

3. CLUB MANHATTAN

Dance, Dance, Dance!

5 E. 400 South • D M P T X 801-364-7651

4. CLUB TRY-ANgLES

251 W. 900 South • D M N P 801-364-3203 • clubtry-angles.com

5. gOSSIP @ SOUND

Wii, Beer-soaked weenies

Beer-Soaked Weenies

$1 drafts

Pool Tournament

$1 drafts, DJ D or BoyToy Bear Jam last Fri Dance!

Nova’s Platinum Pussy Review

579 W. 200 South • D M P T X 801-328-0255 • myspace.com/gossipslc

6. JAM

751 N. 300 W • D M P N 801-328-0255 • jamslc.com

7. PAPER MOON

3737 S State St • D K L P 801-713-0678 • thepapermoon.info

5. RAgE at THE DEPOT

Free pool all day $1 Drafts

Closed

Torture at Jam $1 drafts dj Mike Babbitt

Superstar Karaoke with Travis

House Exchange with Big City House

Fix at Jam DJ:K Top 40 mash-up

Thump at Jam DJ Tidy Indie, Top 40

Karaoke 8pm $1 Drafts

$1 Drafts Free pool all day DJ Iris

Country 8-10p Sassy Kitty’s Karaoke 10p, $1 Drafts

Top 40 Dance DJ Rach

Women, Women, Women!

2 Dance Floors 3 Bars VIP room

13 N 400 West • D M P T X 801-671-1154 • myspace.com/rageslc

8. TAVERNACLE

201 E. 300 South • K P X 801-519-8800 • tavernacle.com

9. W LOUNgE

Dance, Dance, Dance!

$1 drafts Karaoke 9p

358 S. West Temple • D F N P X 801-359-0637 • myspace.com/wlounge

$1 drafts Oldies Night

Closed for private parties Call 801-359-0637 to reserve yours

Karaoke 9p

$1 drafts Dueling pianos 9p

Dance Party Hip hop, House, Indie

Dueling pianos 9p

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House

Indie Disco! Biggest & longest-running electro night

House, Indie Rock Mixed Crowd

ALL “FAMILY” WELCOME Voted #1 Lesbian Club for 3 Years! Thanks!

3737 South State Street

Salt Lake City myspace.com/thepapermoon

’s

omen W e r ie ears rem4 P s e’ ver 1 Y k a L O Saltlub for C

WEEKLY LINEUP ASASSY SUNDAYSA Free Pool, $1 Drafts

AMONDAYSA

Closed for Employee Sanity

801-713-0678 Open: Sun–Fri 3pm–1am, Saturdays 6pm–1am Closed Mondays A private club for members

Friday April 10 Fundraiser for Dan & Lola

to show awareness and support

ATUNES-DAYSA

Karaoke w/Mr. Scott at 8pm, $1 Drafts

A WEDNESDAYSA AWILD WEDNESDAYSA

Friday April 17

ATHIRSTY THURSDAYSA

Salt City Kings show

AFREAKIN’ FRIDAYSA

Friday April 24 14th Annual Dykes-n-Drag

All Request with DJ Spinning Free Pool All Day, $1 Drafts

$1 Drafts, Country 8–10pm Karaoke 10pm

Top 40 Dance Music All Night with Sexy Female DJs

ASEXY SATURDAYSA Women, Women, Women...

Hot DJs Making You Sweat

Danielle's Stepdown

BOOK ALL YOUR TRAVEL www.papermoonvacations.com

Q S a l t L aAkper i|l 3 2 ,7 2 0 0 9 | i s s u e 1 2 5 | Q S a l t L a k e | 3 7

3 8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 125 | A pril 2, 20 09

Support the Businesses that Support You

Q Tales

These businesses brought you this issue of QSaltLake.

Make sure to thank them with your patronage.

The Tale of Stripping Studs

by Petunia Pap-Smear

T

D.I. is fraught with danger and excitement.

One Saturday several years ago, my sister-Logan queens and I were sitting around at a coffee klatch having an intellectual discussion (gossiping). Remember, “BE THERE OR BE TALKED ABOUT.” We decided that life was ever too dreary and we needed to go on a shopping extravaganza to brighten our otherwise less than faaaabulous lives. Where else for a bunch of queens to go shopping but the godsend to all drag queens, Deseret Industries. D.I. can be Nirvana for a budget-conscious queen, forced to reconcile her treasure hunting behavior with her bank account. Where else can you find a size 22 pink sequined prom dress for $10? We quickly re-applied fresh lipstick, grabbed our purses and jumped in Queer-Tanic, my 6,000 pound 1975 Buick Electra land yacht for her second voyage, hoping she would succeed better than on her maiden voyage when she lost her battery.

Our initial plan was to hit every D.I. from Logan to Salt Lake. Our major concern was cargo space in which to transport our shopping treasures. But since the trunk of Queer-Tanic was large enough to contain a full fledged orgy (I think that Chi Chi Larue filmed her last prison porn fantasy in the trunk) as long as we left the portable glory hole booths behind in the garage, there would be plenty of room for all.

We reached our first D.I. and descend-

ed upon the store like an infestation of Mormon crickets. Our arrival resembled the opening of doors at Filenes’s Basement Sale. Some ran to the housewares section trying to find the elusive Art Deco lamp of their dreams while the rest quickly gravitated to the women’s clothing area. Suddenly, bras, muumuus and sequined prom dresses were flying off the racks in a blinding blizzard of chiffon, taffeta and polyester, the mainstay of a queen’s D.I. chic couture collection.

The clerks tried their best to act the part of the Seagulls attempting to quell the infestation, but our superior cunning and the intensity of our attraction to shiny objects quickly overpowered them. An unwitting passer-by could easily have lost a limb.

A video of the scene could have without difficulty been substituted on Animal Planet for a Shark Feeding Frenzy.

We repeated the same scenario in Brigham City, and Ogden. While driving south between stops I began to notice that Queer-Tanic was handling a little odd, had a strange new vibration and was making a funny noise. As we stopped at the Centerville D.I., I got out and lifted the hood to investigate. I could find nothing obviously wrong. So with denial being more than just a river in Egypt, I turned up the radio so I couldn’t hear the noise and we proceeded gaily forward to the next D.I. As we approached North Salt Lake, my “royal intuition” told me we should not

Puzzle Solutions

Cryptogram: I didn’t think about all the people

he road to

Anagram: Amanda Lepore

I was hurting by getting married. That was selfish.

9 7 8 6 3 2 4 5 1

4 1 5 8 7 9 6 2 3

2 3 6 5 1 4 7 9 8

2 5 1 3 6 8 7 9 4

7 4 6 9 2 1 8 3 5

8 3 9 4 7 5 6 1 2

8 6 7 1 4 5 2 3 9 1 6 3 7 9 2 4 5 8

5 9 3 2 6 8 1 7 4 5 7 4 8 3 6 1 2 9

1 2 4 7 9 3 8 6 5 9 2 8 5 1 4 3 7 6

4 8 2 1 5 3 9 6 7 8 5 2 3 4 1 9 2 7 5 8 6

3 9 5 6 4 7 2 8 1 4 3 6 7 5 9 4 8 6 3 1 2

6 1 7 2 8 9 5 4 3 7 1 9 6 8 2 3 5 1 9 4 7

6 3 8 2 4 1 5 9 7

4 5 2 6 9 7 1 3 8

7 1 9 3 8 5 2 6 4

3 1 2 6 5 9 8 7 4 1 6 3 9 2 5 1 4 8 7 6 3

4 5 7 3 2 8 1 9 6 5 2 8 4 7 3 9 6 2 5 1 8

8 6 9 7 1 4 3 2 5 9 7 4 8 1 6 3 7 5 4 9 2

2 4 1 6 8 3 9 7 5 9 4 1 2 3 6 7 5 8

7 8 4 2 5 9 1 3 6

6 9 7 5 2 1 3 8 4

3 5 8 7 9 4 6 2 1

5 7 4 1 6 3 2 8 9

6 2 8 5 4 7 9 3 1

7 3 5 8 9 1 6 4 2

5 3 9 8 1 6 2 4 7 1 9 3 4 8 2 5 6 7

1 6 2 4 3 7 8 5 9 2 8 6 9 7 5 4 1 3

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The Perils of Petunia Pap-Smear

proceed further on I-15 with no means of escape should there be a breakdown. I steered Queer-Tanic off the freeway and then stopped in front of the rock quarry on Beck Street. It was a good thing too, because upon further investigation, all but one of the lug nuts on my front wheel were missing, and the last one was just hanging on by a thread. The wheel was wobbling back and forth more wildly than my limp wrist in a stiff breeze. (I tell inquiring minds that I have had “steel wrist implants” so I can be more butch.) Celebrating my butch-ness, I grabbed the tire iron, cinched up my panties and tightened the remaining nut. Unfortunately, we were only able to travel two blocks before it loosened again. So Queer-Tanic proceeded ever so slowly, just like a parade float, except stopping every two blocks to tighten my nuts.

Finally we reached the auto department at Sears, and the hunky mechanic (I’m a sucker for a man in uniform, any uniform) told me we were lucky that we didn’t crash and go to that great Drag Show in the sky. The wheel studs were stripped, beyond any hope of repair, and we could proceed no further. I know that lug bolt is the proper term but “stripped studs” just sounds ever so much more festive in a desperate situation like this.

I contemplated whether I could just glue the nuts on the studs with eyelash glue or nail polish, but the mechanic wisely recommended we abandon Queer-Tanic for a couple of days while he replaced the “stripped studs.” Our Knight in Shining Gold Lame came in the form of the clerk at Budget Rent-A-Car just across the street who was able to equip us with a replacement chariot in a flash, to get us back home with our silky purchases. The rental car certainly didn’t have the luxury of Queer-Tanic but at least all four wheels stayed on. Later I was able to return and retrieve my beloved Queer-Tanic, with new “studs” and all four wheels fully functioning. STRIKE TWO for Queer-Tanic.

Like Always these events leave us with many eternal questions: 1. If the LDS Church knew how many drag queens D.I. had dressed, would they shut the doors?

2. Might they begin to require temple recommends to shop at D.I.?

3. Can purchases at D.I. be written off as tithing?

4. Where will Chi Chi Larue get a new location for her next prison fantasy?

5. Did the mechanic try on the dresses in the trunk when we were not looking?

6. Would steel wrist implants hurt?

7. If some hunky studs stripped in front of us, would that tighten our nuts?

8. Would a stud let me glue my nuts on him?

9. Should I begin carrying duct tape and bailing wire in my make-up kit?

These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of: The Perils of Petunia Pap-Smear.

A pril 2, 20 09 | issue 125 | QSa lt L a k e | 39

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