QSaltLake Magazine - 141 - Nov. 12, 2009

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*TTVF /PWFNCFS

SL City Council Passes Nondiscrimination Ordinances. LDS Church Supports the Measures 1)050 %"7*% %"/*&-4

Feature: Homeless Gay Youth

Stan Penfold Elected to City Council

Michael Mitchell Hired as Stonewall Demo ED

Charities to Support This Holiday Season

Staff Box publisher/editor

Michael Aaron assistant editor

In This Issue

JoSelle Vanderhooft arts & entertainment editor

ISSUE 141 • November 12, 2009

Tony Hobday graphic designer

A&E Views

Homeless Youth. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Charities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 News National . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Local. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6

Guest Editorial. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Ruby Ridge. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Snaps & Slaps. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Creep of Week. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 Lambda Lore . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 The Straight Line. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 Gay Geeks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Who’s Your Daddy? . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21

Gay Agenda . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28 Restaurant Review. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 Dining Guide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34 Crossword, Cryptogram. . . . . . . . . 38 Comics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 Qdoku. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33 Anagram. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36 Tales of Petunia Pap-Smear. . . . . . . 43 Puzzle Answers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43 The Back Page. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44

Christian Allred contributors

Lynn Beltran Brad Di Iorio Ruth Hackford-Peer Ryan Shattuck Troy Williams Christopher Katis Petunia Pap-Smear

Joseph Dewey Anthony Paull Ruby Ridge Ben Williams Rex Wockner David Alder

contributing photographers

David Daniels Laurie Kaufman

Brian Gordon David Newkirk

sales manager

Brad Di Iorio

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Nov e mber 12, 20 09 | issue 1 41 | QSa lt L a k e | 3

News — National  Maine Voters Wipe Out Gay Marriage Law Gays lost marriage in Maine on Nov. 3. A “people’s veto” at the ballot box wiped out the law passed by the Legislature and signed by the governor. It had not taken effect, pending the outcome of the vote. With 99 percent of precincts reporting, voters took marriage away from gays by a margin of 52.82 percent to 47.18 percent. The vote total was 299,808 to 267,785. It was the 31st time same-sex marriage has lost at the ballot box in a U.S. state. It has never won. “Tonight hundreds of thousands of Maine voters stood for equality but in the end, it wasn’t enough,” said NO on 1/Protect Maine Equality Campaign Manager Jesse Connolly. “I am proud of the thousands of Mainers who knocked on doors, made phone calls and talked to their family, friends and neighbors about the basic premise of treating all Maine families equally. And I’m proud of this campaign because the stories we told and the images we shared were of real Mainers — parents who stood up for their children, and couples who simply wanted to marry the person they love.” “We’re in this for the long haul,” he said. “For next week and next month and next year — until all Maine families are treated equally. Because in the end, this has always been about love and family, and that will always be something worth fighting for.” The very well-run NO on 1 campaign studied and learned from the failed Proposition 8 campaign last year in California. No on 8 didn’t use gay people in its television ads; NO on 1 did. No on 8 took too long to respond to the opposition’s scary TV ads; NO on 1 responded immediately each time. About the only thing NO on 1 could have tried that it didn’t was to run alarmist, negative ads itself. Some observers thought NO on 1 should have tried that, but there was no loud or sustained effort to change the campaign’s decision in that regard. The campaign believed that calling its opponents “bigots” would alienate some of Maine’s libertarian-leaning voters who opposed vetoing same-sex marriage based on general political philosophy more than any strong pro-gay sentiment. “We are fools to have spent all this money and time and not have defined the opponents,” said Steve Hildebrand, who was Barack Obama’s deputy national campaign director and advises Obama on gay issues. “It’s not enough to answer their charges,” Hildebrand said Nov. 6. “We need to hit them back and not let up on it until voters don’t buy their lies anymore.

Quips & Quotes

by Rex Wockner

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‘Rent’ is troubling, even dangerous. It just might challenge your heart and mind to recognize that which is the same in all of us. That is a Christian challenge, so I say kudos to Principal Rick Bartman and the Catholic school’s leadership for allowing this play when it would have been easier to shy away from controversy — something Jesus never did.” —Sandy resident Lorrie Gaffney, addressing criticisms of Judge Memorial High’s production of Rent in a letter to the Salt Lake Tribune. The musical features gay and lesbian characters and tackles such themes as drug addiction and the AIDS epidemic.

NO on 1 Campaign Manager Jesse Connolly addresses a crowd gathered on election day.  (The NO on 1 and No on 8 campaigns were) malpractice in my opinion.” NO on 1’s TV ads stuck to a theme of equality for all Maine families. The opposition repeated over and over that legalizing same-sex marriage would provoke Maine schools to inculcate children with homosexual propaganda. The anti-same-sex-marriage campaign also ran an ad arguing that Maine’s domesticpartnership law, which does not bestow all state-level rights and obligations of marriage, provides same-sex couples with enough equality. During the campaign, Connolly dismissed the opposition’s messaging as unbelievable. “These are the same old doomsday tactics that opponents of equality have been using not just in Maine, but in every state from California to Iowa to New York,” he said in September. “They want to change the subject, to talk about anything else. But Question 1 is only about fairness and equality for Maine families. We believe Maine people will see through this cynical strategy.” Some apparently did. Gay marriage was a winner in the cities of Portland (73 percent), South Portland (64 percent) and Bangor (54 percent), and in places such as Kennebunkport (61 percent) and Bar Harbor (73 percent). It lost in the cities of Lewiston (40 percent) and Augusta (47 percent). The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force expressed deep disappointment over the outcome. “This heartbreaking defeat in Maine unfortunately shows that lies and fear can still win at the ballot box,” said Executive Director Rea Carey. “Yet despite this setback, the tide clearly is turning nationwide in favor of marriage equality. We are confident that Maine

4  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  issue 1 41  |  Nov e mber 12, 20 09

PHOTO: REX WOCKNER

will again join the growing number of states that extend the essential security and legal protections of marriage to all loving, committed couples. All across the nation, same-sex couples and their families are sharing their stories and their lives with others in a conversation that is transforming our country. That doesn’t end today. If anything, it inspires and compels us to press forward. We extend our heartfelt thanks to the thousands of volunteers and campaign workers who fought their hardest for equality in Maine, to the NO on 1 campaign and Equality Maine for their enduring leadership, and to the voters who cast their ballots for fairness rather than fear-mongering.” Some 8,000 people volunteered on the NO on 1 campaign, its officials said. Unlike in California, where voters amended the state constitution to reban same-sex marriage, Maine voters merely struck down a law that had been passed. A new same-sex marriage bill could be introduced in the Maine Legislature, passed, and signed into law by the governor, starting the process all over again. Indeed, Maine’s LGBT anti-discrimination law went that very route. It was passed twice only to be vetoed by voters. Then, the third time it passed, they upheld it. Same-sex marriage is legal in Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts and Vermont, and becomes legal in New Hampshire in January. In addition, New York, New Jersey and Washington, D.C., are thought to be on the verge of legalizing same-sex marriage. Internationally, same-sex marriage is legal in Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands, Norway, Spain, South Africa and Sweden.

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It’s pretty cool. I think it’s significant for the city. It’s a first.” —Stan Penfold, talking about becoming Salt Lake City’s first openly gay city council member.

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It gives many gay and transgender people a sense of being seen. They can be seen for who they are — and that’s not only accepted, but people will vote for them. It’s incredibly affirming.” —Brandie Balken, executive director of Equality Utah, speaking about Penfold’s election to the Deseret News.

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I’m guessing we can look forward to a year or two of stories reporting that “openly gay Councilman Stan Penfold voted for the creation of a new zoning designation” and so on. After all, he’s openly gay, so he must be into zoning.” —City Weekly blogger Brandon Burt. man.” ❝—Headline ❝Stan is the of Salt Lake Tribune reporter Glen Warchol’s “SLC Crawler” Web post about Penfold’s victory.

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Way to go, Stan! If it can happen in Utah, it can happen everywhere!” —“Bob” of the blog “I Should Be Laughing.”

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Somehow I don’t think that the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles are celebrating.” —Timothy Kincaid of “Box Turtle Bulletin”

Other Election Results of Gay Interest

Elsewhere on election day, voters in Washington state approved the new “everything but marriage” domesticpartnership law that extends to registered same-sex couples all state-level rights and obligations of marriage. The vote margin was 52.56 percent to 47.44 percent. (Some votes still may be uncounted; in all but one county, voters were able to cast ballots only by mail.) Straight couples also can make use of the law if one partner is 62 or older. In Kalamazoo, Mich., voters overwhelmingly approved a law that bans discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity in housing, employment and public accommodations. The vote margin was 61.8 percent to 38.2 percent. Opponents had delayed the law from taking effect for a year and finally forced the City Commission to put it to a citywide vote. New Jersey Gov. Jon Corzine, who supports same-sex marriage, lost his reelection bid to Republican Chris Christie, who opposes same-sex marriage. There is now a rush to get a marriage bill to Corzine for his signature before he leaves office. In Houston, City Controller Annise Parker, who is openly gay, got the most

votes for mayor and advances to a runoff election. And openly gay candidates were elected to the city councils of Detroit; Salt Lake City; St. Petersburg, Fla.; Akron, Ohio; and Maplewood, Minn. Former Fox TV anchor Charles Pugh, 38, will serve as Detroit City Council president because he received more votes than any other council candidate. He is the first openly gay elected official in the city’s history.

Obama ends HIV travel and immigration ban

President Barack Obama’s administration published a rule Nov. 2 that will end the U.S. ban on HIV-positive foreign visitors and immigrants. The change will take effect in January. “Twenty-two years ago, in a decision rooted in fear rather than fact, the United States instituted a travel ban on entry into the country for people living with HIV/AIDS,” Obama said, announcing the new policy Oct. 30. “We talk about reducing the stigma of this disease, yet we’ve treated a visitor living with it as a threat. We lead the world when it comes to helping stem the AIDS pandemic, yet we are one of only a dozen countries

that still bar people from HIV from entering our own country. If we want to be the global leader in combating HIV/ AIDS, we need to act like it.” “That’s why, on Monday, my administration will publish a final rule that eliminates the travel ban effective just after the new year,” he said. “Congress and President Bush began this process last year, and they ought to be commended for it. We are finishing the job. It’s a step that will encourage people to get tested and get treatment, it’s a step that will keep families together, and it’s a step that will save lives.” In a joint statement, the Global Network of People Living With HIV, the European AIDS Treatment Group and Germany’s Deutsche AIDS-Hilfe “congratulate[d] the United States government on fulfilling its promise and completing the legal procedure that was started by former President Bush on World AIDS Day 2007.” “This is a great victory for the fight against the worldwide discrimination of people living with HIV,” said AIDSHilfe’s Peter Wiessner. “I remember times where we never thought that this would happen. This is an emotional moment and it feels a bit like the fall of the Berlin Wall.” EATG’s David Haerry called the change “groundbreaking” and said it

sends “a strong message to other countries maintaining stigmatizing restrictions today, such as Russia, China, Australia and Canada.” The groups’ statement said that more than 60 nations, including some in Europe, have “stigmatizing entry or residency restrictions” and that “27 countries deport people on the grounds of having an HIV infection.” The three organizations urged the U.S. government to “erase all information with regards to the HIV status of people from its immigration databases” and to fix its “criminal justice system ... where saliva of a person living with HIV is still regarded as a deadly weapon, often resulting in ridiculously long prison sentences for spitting or biting.”

SL Council Passes GLBT Nondiscrimination Ordinances with LDS Church Backing

David Daniels

News — Local

by Michael Aaron

The first person up to speak at a work and populations,” said Jim Dabakis. session of the Salt Lake City Council “It is wonderful that people who have concerning two proposed ordinances strong differences can learn to respect that would protect gay and transgender one another and even show love to one people from discrimination in housing another.” “This is a historic night,” he said. and employment within city limits was Former councilmember Deeda Seed, a representative of the Church of Jesus who fought and failed for such an orChrist of Latter-day Saint. He spoke of the church’s support for dinance through much of her council term, explained to the council how histhe measure. It is rare that the LDS Church makes toric it was. “This is kind of a momentous occaa public statement on any legislation, though it is not uncommon for behind- sion. Twelve years ago this very day, the-scenes work to make or break a bill the council, with very different folks than you, had a very different discusor ordinance. “The non-discrimination ordinance sion on this issue,” she said. “I think being reviewed by the City Council it’s very appropriate that on this day we concerns important questions for the revisit this measure.” “I am absolutely delighted to be standthoughtful people of this community,” Michael Otterson, managing director of ing in solidarity with the LDS Church Public Affairs for the church said after is support of this important ordinance,” making it clear that this was an official Seed continued. “This is a time for love and kindness and gentleness to prevail statement from church leaders. “Like most of America, our commu- so that we can be the best that we can nity in Salt Lake City is comprised of be. Our city will set a shining example citizens of different faiths and values, to the rest of the state and the rest of different races and cultures, different the nation.” political views and divergent demo- Secret Meetings graphics. Across America and around The church statement comes after two the world, diverse communities such as months of behind-the-scenes meetings ours are wrestling with complex social between gay activists and church leadand moral questions. People often feel ers, spawned after three “kiss-ins” on strongly about such issues. Sometimes the Main Street Plaza after church secuthey feel so strongly that the ways in rity ousted two men for holding hands which they relate to one another seem and kissing. to strain the fabric of our society, espeSeed organized the first well-attendcially where the interests of one group ed event and approached council chair seem to collide with the interests of an- Carlton Christianson suggesting a other,” he continued. dialog between the church and the gay “The issue before you tonight is the community. Christianson reportedly right of people to have a roof over their suggested the idea to church leaders, heads and the right to work without who agreed to start a dialog in secret. being discriminated against. But, imMeetings were held in a neutral locaportantly, the ordinance also attempts tion: the home of Sam and Diane Stewto balance vital issues of religious free- art who are friends of Dabakis and acdom. In essence, the church agrees with tive members of the church. the approach which Mayor Becker is After a rocky start, the meetings taking on this matter.” began to build good will between the “The church supports this ordinance disparate parties, though it was clear because it is fair and reasonable and to both sides that differences were undoes not do violence to the institution likely to be fully reconciled. The church of marriage,” he said. “It is also entirely would not budge on fighting against gay consistent with the church’s prior po- marriage and gay leaders would not sition on these matters. The church budge on fighting for them. remains unequivocally committed to Six weeks into the meetings, they defending the bedrock foundation of were canceled. But then a week ago Damarriage between a man and a wom- bakis received a call asking him to rean.” convene the “gang of five” for some face Dozens of people spoke before the time with church leaders. They met alcouncil, many of whom related person- most daily leading up to the Tuesday, al stories of discrimination they had Nov. 10 announcement. faced within city borders. Others spoke Dabakis said the meetings showed of their appreciation to church leaders the caring and loving of church leaders and in his comments before the council for speaking out on the issue. “This is a great opportunity the city said he hoped “this is the beginning of has to bring together divergent ideas an ongoing dialog.” 6  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  issue 1 41  |  Nov e mber 12, 20 09

Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Managing Director of Public Affairs Michael Otterson spoke of the church’s support for Mayor Ralph Becker’s non-discrimination ordinances protecting LGBT people. America Forever All but one Salt Lake City resident spoke in favor of the ordinances. America Forever was onhand to blast the proposed ordinance as being about sexual behavior and about city and church leaders becoming victims of the Human Rights Campaign. “We are talking about sexual conduct here,” said America Forever’s Jonas M. R. Filho of Midvale, Utah. “You cannot remove the act from the word. Gay, lesbian, transgender are all definitions the gay community has come up with to force people to accept their behavior. We should have the right to not associate with these people.” Other family members also spoke against the measure, all live outside the city.

Ordinances pass Jill Remington Love moved for the work meeting to be closed and the council go into session in order to make the motion to pass the ordinances that night rather than waiting until the next schedule meeting. After impassioned and emotional speeches from many of the council members, the motion passed unanimously. The law will go into effect in April, after the Utah Legislative Session. Many believed the legislature would target the new ordinances, but conventional wisdom says because of church support, that is unlikely. QSaltLake will have a more in-depth review of what the council’s actions mean to gay and lesbian Salt Lakers in the next issue.  Q

Day of Remembrance Honors Murdered Transgenders November is considered Transgender Awareness Month in part because of the annual Transgender Day of Remembrance, honoring and memorializing people around the world who have been beaten or killed because they identify as transgender. The day was founded in 1998 in honor of Rita Hester, a Bostonian trans woman brutally stabbed to death on Nov. 12, 1998 by two men who followed her home from a bar. This year, the day will be observed in several locations in Utah. In Salt Lake City, a candlelight vigil will be held at 7 p.m. on Nov. 20 at the

South Valley Unitarian Universalist Society. The vigil is followed by the annual TEA Dance, named after the Transgender Education Advocates of Utah, who have organized the events in past years. In Ogden, a vigil will be held at the Unitarian Universalists Church of Ogden, 705 23rd St. at 7 p.m. An event will also happen in Springville in Utah County, but details were not available at press time.

For more information about Transgender Education Advocates and the Remembrance Day events, visit their Yahoo group at groups. yahoo.com/group/teaofutah.

Penfold Wins City Council Bid by JoSelle Vanderhooft

The executive director of the Utah AIDS Foundation has become Salt Lake City’s first openly gay councilman while another gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender-friendly candidate lost her bid for a seat on the governing body. On Nov. 3 Stan Penfold beat out rival Phil Carroll for the recently vacated District 3 seat, which represents Capitol Hill, Federal Heights, Guadalupe and the upper Avenues. In July, District 3’s Councilman Eric Jergensen announced that he would not seek reelection. Before Jergensen’s announcement his company, Contour Composites, had been plagued for months by accusations of unpaid debts. Ultimately, Jergensen said he was leaving in order to spend more time with his family, including his newborn son. He put his support behind Penfold, who at the time was one of six candidates bidding for the seat. Another gay-friendly candidate, Lisa Allcott, did not advance further than the primary election, winning just 15 percent of the vote despite a promising early lead in fundraising. Jergensen was just one of several politicians and big name Salt Lake residents who gave Penfold his blessing in the nonpartisan election. His many endorsements included not only those of gay and transgender rights group Equality Utah but Mayor Ralph Becker, former State Senator Paula Julander and Jill Remington Love, who represents District 5. Throughout his campaign, Penfold expressed support for a number of progressive measures including: immigrant rights, sus-

Former Equality Utah Executive Director Michael Mitchell has been hired as executive director for the National Stonewall Democrats

tainable development and improving public transportation in the capital city. He also expressed support for Becker’s proposal to include sexual orientation and gender identity in the city’s nondiscrimination ordinance and disapproval over what he called “fear-based efforts to legislate against or intimidate minority groups” of all races, ethnicities, sexual orientations and gender identities. Above all, he stressed the importance of the diversity in his district, and sited it as one of the reasons for his victory. “This is just a really progressive neighborhood,” Penfold said during his victory party at Em’s restaurant. “The people who live here, live here because it’s so diverse, and they want to see that continue.” Penfold was out of his office at the Utah AIDS Foundation following the election and had not responded to requests for further comment by press time. In the District 1 race, Leslie Reynolds-Benns lost her city council bid to incumbent Carlton Christensen, the council’s chairman — her second bid since 2006. In August, ReynoldsBenns, an author and member of PFLAG, told QSaltLake that she had not planned to run again, but that she was moved to run by the defeat of Equality Utah’s Common Ground Initiative — a set of bills seeking to offer more protection for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Utahns — in this year’s general legislative session. In the District 5 city council race, Love retained her seat after running unopposed — the second time she has done so.

Newly-elected Salt Lake City Councilmember Stan Penfold attends a meeting discussing the issue of allowing clubs in certain mixed use neighborhood zones. Penfold, who is openly gay, supports the ordinance change, which affects whether JAM in the Marmalade will be able to apply for a liquor license or not. PHOTO: DAVID DANIELS

National Stonewall Democrats Hires Michael Mitchell by Michael Aaron

National Stonewall Democrats annouced Nov. 7 that the group has hired Michael Mitchell as its new executive director. Mitchell, raised in Preston, Idaho, was Equality Utah’s first executive director, serving from 2001 through 2005 during Utah’s fight over Amendment 3. He became the marriage campaign manager for the ACLU’s LGBT Project in 2005 and was the advocacy and planning specialist for the Equality Federation, where he worked with statewide LGBT organizations to create and implement effective strategic plans for policy change. In a statement, the group said that Mitchell’s vision for the organization is to “build and sustain an army of grassroots leaders at the local and state level to elect pro-equality Democrats and hold them accountable.” Mitchell told QSaltLake that the group is expecting a lot of the Obama administration. “During the 2008 campaign, a lot of promises were made to the LGBT com-

munity — that a Democratic White House and Democratic majorities in Congress would mean hate crimes legislation, an inclusive ENDA, DADT repeal, DOMA repeal — and many people, myself included, have been frustrated by the slower pace that’s been set by our elected officials,” he said. “We expect a lot, and we’ve made some small steps, including President Obama signing the Matthew Shepard Act into law and the fully LGBT-inclusive version of health care reform that just made it through the House,” Mitchell continued. Mitchell believes that Stonewall Democrats is unique among gay groups because of its grassroots structure. “We have Democratic activists all across the country affiliated with our organization, and that unique structure also makes us well-suited to pressuring our elected officials to take strong action on our behalf,” he explained. Asked if he believes that the Democratic Party is currently a tough sell to the gay and lesbian community, Mitchell said that Democratic elected

officials are among the most ardent supporters of gay issues. “I know there’s a lot of frustration in the community — especially toward the Democratic National Committee and Organizing For America (Obama’s former campaign committee which is still operating as a social movement organiztion) — but I think the way we can be most effective and fight hardest is to focus on supporting those pro-equality members who support us, and focus on changing the hearts and minds of those who aren’t with us yet,” Mitchell said. “I learned a lot of valuable lessons on the ground in Utah, especially about the resilience of Democrats in what many folks consider to be difficult political terrain,” he said. “Nothing made me happier than walking into the LGBT caucus at Utah State Democratic Conventions and seeing it full of friends from all over the state, people who were stalwart Democratic activists who kept the party running on so many levels. Utah’s progress electing out leaders gives hope to the many other states that still struggle to get even one out person elected at any level of government.”

Nov e mber 12, 20 09  |  issue 1 41  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  7

News

Petitions Delivered to LDS Church in Handcarts by JoSelle Vanderhooft

On the anniversary of California’s Proposition 8’s passage, a group of non-gay Latter-day Saints, gay-affirming therapists and members of Salt Lake City’s gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community delivered a petition to the LDS Church’s headquarters asking for reconciliation between church leaders and gay and transgender people. But unlike many who have delivered petitions to the church over the years, the group, Foundation for Reconciliation, and its friends brought the thousands of signatures to the church’s doorstep in an unusual way: via handcart, from the This Is The Place Monument, which commemorates the LDS pioneers’ arrival in the Salt Lake Valley in 1847. The group of roughly 14 people, including several children, made the five-mile trek from the monument on Sunnyside Avenue to City Creek Park, a public area kitty-corner to the church’s offices, for a brief rally before crossing the street. Here, Peter Danzig, the foundation’s communications director, called for LDS leaders and members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community to seek forgiveness and healing — even though they disagree over such issues as legalizing gay marriage. “Our hope is for reconciliation,” he said to the crowd of nearly 50 supporters gathered in the park. “We’re working to open up conversations that have for a long time been taboo.” “This is about love,” continued Danzig, who along with his wife Mary was excommunicated from the church last year after vocally protesting its involvement in California’s Yes on 8 campaign. Danzig then handed the microphone to Jim Struve, president of the LGBTQ Affirmative Therapy Guild of Utah, a 90-member organization of psychotherapists and students which supports all sexual orientations and gender identities and rejects so-called reparative therapy that seeks to change them. Struve read a statement from the group, criticizing remarks made by LDS Elder Bruce C. Hafen during ex-gay group Evergreen International’s annual convention last September. Here, Hafen told conference-goers that their gender traits were inborn and urged them to struggle against same-sex attraction. He also encouraged them not to seek mental health services outside of church-approved sources. “First, Christ helps us draw on his strength to become more at one with God, even while overcoming the attraction. He helps us bear the burden of the affliction,” he said. “As a second healing and compensating blessing, the atonement enables the grace that assures this grand promise: No eternal blessing — in-

cluding marriage and family life — will be withheld from those who suffer samegender attraction, if they do ‘all they can do’ to remain faithful.” Although the guild believes that Hafen’s “intentions are good” and that he “wanted to help those in inner turmoil,” Struve said that such pronouncements contributed to feelings of isolation and despair among gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Mormons — feelings that can take away the “last safety net” of community and religion that often

prevents depressed individuals from attempting suicide. “We are alarmed at the potential devastating impact your statement may have,” he said, noting that some Mormons’ suicide letters expressed “hope that their sexual orientation would change after death” and that Hafen’s statements may give such sentiments “official justification.” “They have attempted to change ... and blame themselves for failing to change their sexual orientation,” he said. “They are sincere in their desires to change.” Next, actress Emily Pearson, daughter of LDS playwright and author Carol Lynn Pearson, read one of her mother’s poems. Both women have been active in urging the church to be more accepting of its gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender members. Jacob Whipple, activist and organizer of last year’s 3,000-strong anti-Proposition 8 demonstration around Temple Square, spoke next. “I believe we are all here today because the church doesn’t get it,” he said. “And I believe they never will, as LGBT people can or the people who love us, because they haven’t gone through it.” He noted that the church’s stance on homosexuality and gender identity had resulted in split marriages, youth kicked out of homes for being gay or transgender, and untold pain. “Unfortunately for those people, the church has become a place of conflicting ideals, a place of broken homes and contentions,” he said. Nonetheless, he expressed hope that the church could learn to see what gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people are attempting to accomplish in the way of civil rights “so they can stand with us.”

8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 1 41 | Nov e mber 12, 20 09

Whipple and others then removed a trunk from the handcart and displayed the items housed inside, which all represented the time, talent and work that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Mormons had put into the church. Along with a copy of the petition, they included: a casserole dish representing 6.9 million hours of church service; a teddy bear in a missionary shirt signifying 45,888 missions served and 633,000 baptisms; a receipt for $2.3 billion in tithing; and a book titled Abandoned on the Plains, featuring the stories of gay and transgender Mormons who committed suicide. To close the rally, Rev. Erin Gilmore of the Holladay United Church of Christ and Rev. Elizabeth O’Day read a statement signed by several local religious leaders

in support of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people and asking the church to reconsider its role in supporting legislation that infringed upon the rights of gay and transgender-accepting religions. Carrying white carnations, symbols of known gay and transgender LDS suicide victims, the group then pulled the handcart across the street to the sidewalk in front of church headquarters. There they were met by Mark Burton of the church’s public affairs office who accepted the trunk and listened as leaders of the foundation explained each item. Burton declined to comment on the presentation and referred inquiries to the church’s public relations department. In an interview with the Salt Lake Tribune after the event, church spokesperson Kim Farah told the paper: “It is confusing that this group felt the need to tell the church about love and compassion. Church leaders are keenly aware of the various challenges members face around the world — both collectively and individually — and countless hours are spent every week helping them.” “Our greatest hope is to open up channels for dialogue and opportunities for reconciliation with leaders of the LDS Church and others working on this issue in our community,” said Danzig in a release after the event. “Although general authorities of the LDS Church declined to accept the materials in person, the Foundation was told they should schedule a meeting directly with the leaders they wanted to speak to. The Foundation will submit a formal request for a meeting later this week.”

To learn more about the Foundation for Reconciliation, visit LDSapology.org.

Q mmunity Transgender Awareness Month November is Transgender Awareness Month at the Utah Pride Center. Events throughout the month include a conference on gender and gender identity, a workshop for transgender and genderqueer people about voice and speech adaptation and fun social events every Tuesday evening. InFo: utahpridecenter.org.

PWACU Poinsettias The People with AIDS Coalition of Utah has opened orders for its 5th annual poinsettia fundraiser. Until Nov. 20 the organization will offer potted poinsettias (averaging 15 to 19 inches tall and 15 inches wide). All proceeds will benefit the organization, which serves people with HIv/AIDS in the state. cost: $10 per plant or $75 for eight plants. puRchAse: pwacu.org or 801-4842205 delIveRy dAtes: Nov. 24 and 27, Dec. 1, 4, 8 and 11. Deliveries in Salt Lake County require no minimum order, but deliveries for Davis, Summit, Tooele and Weber require an eight plant order. Davis and Weber delivery dates are Nov. 24 and Dec. 4 , Summit County’s is Nov. 27 and Dec. 8 and Tooele and Utah Counties’ are Dec. 1 and 11. Dates are subject to change.

LGBT Law Clinic Beginning Nov. 12, the National Center for Lesbian Rights, the Utah Pride Center, the University of Utah’s S.J. Quinney College of Law Pro Bono Initiative and OutLaws, the law college’s pro-gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender group, will sponsor a free law clinic for low income members of the community who cannot afford legal help. To participate, bring documents related to the issue for which you are seeking help, such as contracts, pay stubs, court documents and e-mail. When: Starting Nov. 12 and the second Thursday of each month after, 6–8 p.m. WheRe: U of U S.J. Quinney College of Law, 322 S. 1400 East

Gobble, Gobble The Utah Pride Center will host a Thanksgiving Day dinner on Nov. 26 and is currently looking for financial donations as well as volunteers to cook and serve the food. InFo: Jennifer@utahpridecenter.org or utahpridecenter.org.

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Homo for the Holidays All too often, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people are estranged from their families of origin, making going ‘home’ for the winter holidays difficult or even impossible. For this reason, and because of the strong sense of family among many in the community, a number of organizations throughout the valley have long held Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners for all members of this broader family and their friends and allies to attend.

Integrity Utah

On Thanksgiving Day, Integrity Utah, a gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgenderaffirming Episcopalian group, will host an interfaith Thanksgiving Day Celebration at St. Stephens Episcopal Church, 4615 S. 3200 W. beginning at 3 p.m. The need for the dinner, said Integrity officer Robb Trujillo, is apparent, given the discrimination and prejudice that queer people routinely face. “Perceptions and/or confirmation of a person’s LGBT identity in school or work can lead to verbal or physical assault, consequently making that family, work or social setting unsafe for many LGBT people,” he wrote in a Facebook message announcing the dinner and Holy Communion service open to members of all faiths. “In response to the known fact that many in our community are not in regular communication with their family of birth, and we have through time formed our own family’s of choice even with newly formed family of Choice, the Holidays can be very difficult for many.” Held in the church’s parish hall, the dinner will include such traditional fare as turkey, mashed potatoes and what Trujillo referred to as a “divine” sage stuffing. He requested attendees, however, to bring side dishes and desserts to make the meal complete. Since this is the first year that Integrity Utah has held such a dinner, Trujillo said he is hoping to get a large and enthusiastic response. “We really want it to be an intergenerational gathering, so we have elderly and middle-age and young and LGBT families and singles, so we get a broad cross section of the community who may be estranged from their families of birth, and so we can gather together and celebrate our unity in diversity,” he said. “I think that we’re created to be in community,” he continued. “It’s very hard to practice any sort of betterment or spiritual growth as an individual. When we come together in community we celebrate the varieties of gifts that we have, and I think that it helps us to take better stock of the things we should be thankful for and the things that unite us as opposed to taking the other track and pointing out or differences and divi-

sions.” To further emphasize the importance of community, Trujillo noted that the church and Volunteers of America have set aside 25 slots for homeless youth at the dinner. Holy Communion will be held at 2:30 p.m. with dinner to follow from 3–5 p.m. After dinner, those present will be able to watch a football game or a movie together. Those interested in attending should RSVP by Nov. 22 so the appropriate number of turkeys can be purchased. To do so, contact Trujillo at 435-849-2961.

Utah Pride Center

The reason behind the Utah Pride Center’s annual Thanksgiving dinner (also held Nov. 26) is exactly the same. “A lot of people form chosen families due to the discriminatory practices of their biological families, so it becomes quite important around the holidays that we create spaces where we can come together in a safe, supportive environment to celebrate together,” said Jennifer Nuttall, the Center’s Adult Programs director. “The Utah Pride Center wants to facilitate providing those opportunities for our community to gather and celebrate the holiday with people who support their identities and relationships.” The dinner will be held in the Utah

Pride Center’s Youth Activity Center, so attendees may make use of its pool table, television and games. Unlike Integrity Utah’s dinner, however, all food items are donated beforehand, so attendees need not bring a dish. Like the church’s dinner, however, homeless youth are also encouraged to come, as are members of the center’s Service and Advocacy for GLBT Elders program. “Generally the older generation has not had the same kind of family support as [younger gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people] are getting more recently, so it’s also a good place for elders to come and be a part of, and a great place for generations to connect,” she said. While the dinner has a sufficient number of volunteers, Nuttall said that some food items are still needed. For more information about donating food or money, contact her at 801-539-8800, ex. 13.

Gay Clubs

Joe Redburn, owner of the Trapp, has held Thanksgiving dinners since he started his first gay bar, the Sun Tavern. Club Try-Angles has held a dinner ever since its inception as well. “We always do a full turkey dinner with all the fix-ins,” said Trapp bar manager Frank Chugg. “I do it to give all of us without family nearby to gather and celebrate, plus I love turkey,” Club Try-Angles’ owner Gene Gieber said. Q

Ogden Coronation Will Bring Out Stars The Imperial Rainbow Court of Northern Utah will begin its tenth reign with “Coronation X, An Evening Under the Stars — A Red Carpet Affair,” Nov. 20–22 at the Ogden Marriott. Emperor IX Steve and Empress IX Dominique will step down and a newly-elected reign will be announced on Saturday, Nov. 21 in the hotel’s Grand Ballroom beginning at 6 p.m. The weekend begins with the In Town Show on Thursday, Nov. 19 at the Brass Rail starting at 9 p.m. Local talent is showcased at this show. Friday kicks off with a hospitality suite at the Marriott from noon to 3 p.m. The ICP Ball is the final hoorah for the reign’s Imperial Crown Prince Robbie Blaylock and Princess Nikki Steele. The ball will take place at the Marriott with the theme, “Lights, Camera, Action!”. Doors open at 6 p.m. and the show starts at 7 p.m. Tickets are $10 at the door. Following the ball, the Out of Town Show shows off the talents of traveling guests from across the nation. It will be held at the Brass Rail and is included with the ICP Ball ticket. The “Boise Spud Water Party” closes Friday night out at the Marriott. On Saturday, the hospitality suite is

10 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 1 41 | Nov e mber 12, 20 09

Q mmunity Pride in Pink: After Hours The Utah Pride Center has announced its next Pride in Pink: After Hours, an informal networking event for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Utahns and their allies. The party is so-named because all attendees are asked to wear pink. This month’s sponsor is Quinn Richins, who will give away $100 gift certificates to Best Buy, and prizes will be offered in a drawing that individuals can enter by bringing their business cards. Market Street Oyster Bar will provide refreshments. When: Dec. 8, 5–7 p.m. WheRe: Market Street Oyster Bar, 54 W. Market St. cost: Donations suggested Rsvp: Marina Gomberg at 801-5398800 x 20

American Indian Heritage Month Gov. Gary Herbert has issued a declaration naming November as American Indian Heritage Month and the Monday before Thanksgiving as Indigenous Day. This year, events for the month will include the return of Massasoit statue to the State Capitol and pow wows for American Indian veterans, the Indian Walk-in Center and the Ute tribe. The month also includes an Indigenous Day Wards dinner on Nov. 23 at the State Capitol. InFo: Division of Indian Affairs, 801538-8808

Give a Turkey

once again open from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Those wishing to be included in the evening’s protocol must register at the suite and have their information on a 3x5 index card. Doors open for the main Coronation event at 5 p.m. at the Ogden Marriott Grand Ballroom with the event starting at 6 p.m. Tickets will be available at the hospitality suite for $30 or at the door for $35. The “Montana Water Party” follows coronation at the Marriott. On Sunday at noon, revelers will go to a Victory Brunch at the Brass Rail, likely either still awake or with eyes as red as the sun. Or both. $10 at the door.

Backman Elementary School is collecting turkeys and money to purchase turkeys for families in need this holiday season. Turkeys and donations may be dropped off at the school, 601 N. 1500 W., between 9 a.m. and 4 p.m., through Nov. 17. Franklin, Meadowlark and Woodrow Wilson Elementary Schools are also participating. InFo: Frank Cordova, 801-446-9067 or 801-573-8503

South Valley Sanctuary Fundraiser South valley Sanctuary, the only domestic violence shelter in the Salt Lake valley that serves male and female clients, will hold a fundraiser at La Caille Restaurant, complete with a holiday concert. When: Nov. 20, 7–9 p.m. WheRe: La Caille Restaurant, 9565 Wasatch Blvd. tIckets: $100, purchase at southvalleysanctuary.com InFo: Heather Masterton, 801-8646056

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For ADA concerns contact Sarah at (801) 393-4153

by Brad Di Iorio

On November 13–14, the South Davis Recreation Center will host Utah’s largest amateur swim competition, the Utah Masters Swim Meet, hosted by the South Davis Masters Club. This is an officially sanctioned United States Masters Swimming meet, and allows local swimmers to compete and pre-qualify for participation in two national Master’s meets, held in Atlanta in May and in San Juan, Puerto Rico, in Aug. 2010. “Our job as the official Utah representatives for United States Masters Swimming is to facilitate the organization of clubs, the conduct of sanctioned competitive events, and the sport of swimming,” said Kyle Treadway, Utah Master’s sSecretary and board member. “In our sport, athletes usually must prequalify for national and international championship events with established minimum times in a particular event.” Treadway said to pre-qualify for the two national swim meets, the requirements include three-year averages for the 10th fastest time posted nationally in each event. The times to qualify are posted when a swimmer registers for each event, and as times come in from the nation, placements in the national meets are determined from the best times. In Masters’ competition, a swimmer may travel to other Masters swimming events across the nation to qualify or improve his or her time posted. “That’s part of the fun during the season — watching your times improve to see if you’re getting closer to qualifying,” Treadway added. Utah Masters LMSC is governed by a board of directors made up from the different participating clubs in Utah and QUAC, Utah’s gay and lesbian swimming club. QUAC is considered to be a part of Utah Masters, but because they participate as a team in the International Gay and Lesbian Aquatics Association, they are designated separately under Masters rules. Utah Masters Swimming began in 1974, when a few high school coaches got together and held a coaches swimming meet. The first few meets after that included about 15 swimmers. But as interest grew, Masters teams were formed in Salt Lake City (at the YMCA and the Deseret Gym), Murray, Granger, Magna, Cottonwood, Logan, Park City, Tooele, Cedar City and St. George. Master meets moved from pool to pool and interest continued to grow; membership over the first 20 years has averaged about 70 swimmers. With the construction of the Steiner Pool, located near the University of Utah, in 1993, Utah Masters facilitated centralized workouts, meets and other swimming events here, and roughly 70

UMS swimmers now workout at this pool. The overall statewide membership has now grown to over 150 swimmers in 2009. The current Chairman of the Utah Masters is Kimberly Hunter. “The USMS governing body in the United States licenses 52 local swimming committees, of which Utah is one,” said Hunter. “Under Club Utah, there are many workout groups including South Davis, Steiner, Wasatch (Heber), Utah State Masters, Olympus, Murray, etc.” Hunter’s goals as chairman are to build a program encouraging a lifetime of health through fitness and to increase membership. This in turns increases Utah Masters’ ability to sponsor swim clinics, triathlon clinics, swim meets and open water swims. “As I am unique in having swum for three different teams in Utah, for several years each, I have also been focused on binding the teams more closely and encouraging participation in various team sponsors activities,” said Hunter, who has coached QUAC, swum with Steiner, and has swum for and coached South Davis. “I started swimming in high school in Sheridan, Wyo. and am a high school state champion,” she said. “I have broken 14 Utah State Masters swimming records and still currently hold 12, and have made the USMS Top 10 four times. All sprints.” Hunter said she found Masters swimming about 15 years ago, and though she does not identify as lesbian, her father was gay and she has a step brother that is, too. “I was originally recruited to Masters swimming by my massage therapist who swam for QUAC,” said Hunter. “That’s how I started coaching them.” As a nonprofit, Utah Masters has limited funds and concentrates on events rather than helping qualifying swimmers get to national meets. Primary funding comes from member fees, and for meets, swimmers fund their own travel, accommodations, registrations and equipment. Swimming suppliers help by offering prizes at competitions and purchasing advertising in local, regional and national publications. Meet Director, Kristen Edwards, is also the head coach of the South Davis Recreation swim team and has been responsible for the meet for the last three years. “The SDRC Masters swim team was established March 11, 2007, and this year, it will host our third annual swim meet,” said Edwards. “It is not a fundraiser and is successful due to many people giving hours and hours of volunteer time because of the love of the sport and our team.”

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RANDY SCOTT

Sports Swimmers Will Compete in Utah’s Largest Amateur Meet

Kimberly Hunter, in the red suit, competes in the back stroke at a previous Utah Masters meet. All participants are required to fill out an entry form, sign a liability waiver, pay a SDRC fee of $15, and show proof of Utah Masters membership. “In return, swimmers receive a pickup packet full of donated items from our sponsors Pool-n-Patio and Poco Loco swim shops,” said Edwards. “Also, for top finishers and relay events, swimmers will get awards and medals.” Age groups in Utah Masters are 1824, 25-29, 30-34, 35-39, 40-44, continuing in five year increments in individual swimming events. In relay groups, the age of the youngest team member determines the age group. Age groups in relay events are 18+, 25+ and so on in 10-year age increments. Swimmers are allowed to participate in only one event on Friday, but can participate in five in-

dividual events and two relay events on Saturday. Finals in each event will be seeded by best time. “There is no fee for you to come watch and cheer on our swimmers. It’s a pretty cool thing to see 80-year-olds still diving off the block,” said Edwards. “Even fans and onlookers will have a chance to win prizes from local swim sponsors and businesses that have donated items for drawings.” The 3rd Annual South Davis Recreation Utah Masters Swim meet will be held at South Davis Recreation Center, 550 N. 200 W., Nov. 13, with warm-ups beginning at 6 p.m. The meet will start at 7 p.m. For more information about Utah Masters, visit utahmasters.org.

Utah Blitz Joins Women’s Football Alliance There’s a new game in town ... well maybe not exactly new, but better, stronger, more efficient. The Women’s Football Alliance is a full-contact women’s league that was formed in 2008. Joining the ranks this year (currently 45 regional teams) is a team led by head coach Greg Cover, called Utah Blitz. The mission of the Utah Blitz is to teach, develop and promote women athletes (of all skill levels) in tackle football and to set a positive example for young women and girls. Our vision extends beyond game time as our players understand what opening doors for younger generations can do for dreams of “when I grow up ...”. The new season begins in the spring of 2010; however, the Utah Blitz (al-

ready with many players) is recruiting additional women to try out — to show them their best moves: blitzes, cutbacks, quarterback sneaks, punts and other fundamentals. It is anticipated that the game schedule, being released in late November, will include up to four out-of-town games for the Utah Blitz. Also, practices are tentatively scheduled for Wendesdays and Saturdays beginning in January. All games will be played on Saturday evenings. For interested players, age 18 and up, there will be an open clinic, Dec. 5, 8-10 a.m., followed by tryouts Jan. 16, at Ultimate Indoor, 1877 W. 2425 South, in Woodscross. The cost is $10.

For more information about the Utah Blitz visit utblitz.com or e-mail utah.blitz@yahoo.com.

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Nov e mber 12, 20 09 | issue 1 41 | QSa lt L a k e | 13

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Letters

Q Loved by Knuckleheads

Editor, I work at Knuckleheads, a distribution point for QSaltLake. I wanted to let you know that all of us breeders at the shop think QSaltLake blows the City Weekly and that disaster In Weekly out of the water. We constantly criticize the other mags while yours usually brings thought provoking discussion amongst us. You guys really do a good job. All of us like the perspective that you give to your readers, as it never comes across as being preachy, just honest. We especially liked your coverage on DJ Bell, as it seemed like you were the only place to even get an news update of that case. Besides your articles, my personal favorite is the gay dad article [Who’s Your Daddy?] in every issue. I forgot his name, but the perspective of his column allows me insight into a life I will never experience. He takes every hurdle and challenge with class and dignity. Oh yeah, we always love the drag queen written articles. Those will always bring the LOLZ. Jeff Bailey Salt Lake City

1 4  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  issue 1 41  |  Nov e mber 12, 20 09

Something you read make you gleeful? QSaltLake welcomes letters from our readers. Send your letter of under 300 words to: letters@QSaltLake.com QSaltLake reserves the right to edit for length or libel or reject any letter.

Guest Editorial An Open Letter to My Mother by Roy Pearce

I

’m writing this open letter in the hopes of not only helping my own mother to understand what it means to me to be gay and having been raised Mormon, but also other mothers out there who might be in the same position. I was inspired by the story of a Moroccan in Paris who did something similar. Having been raised Mormon, I was taught many things about how I should live my life, and that if I did all the right things, I would be happy. Though, throughout it all, even from a young age, there were clear signs that I was gay. The very thoughts were suppressed again and again because it didn’t fit into the model of life that I was taught, so I followed that model for a good portion of my life. I dated girls through high school, and even several years after my mission. I could never date one girl for very long because I always felt like I was wasting her time. There was never much attraction, nor many emotions involved. Even with the LDS dating Web sites with their vast databases of single women, I could never find anybody I wanted to pursue a relationship with, let alone date. The thought of never finding anybody I wanted to share my life with was depressing, but the thought of persisting down a path where my loneliness was only reassured time and time again was even worse. So I just stopped trying. Obviously, I didn’t immediately come to an acceptance that I was gay. I had to undergo a rather lengthy transitional period in my life. My decision to stop going to church didn’t happen overnight either. I knew that the church was draining me, due to the amount of time committed to callings and services — which is the real reason why I stopped going. Making that decision, however, was essential in order to undo all the layers of denial and suppression that had accumulated over a lifetime. Honestly, how can anybody truly ever be happy if they are continually denying who they really are? My admission to you that I am gay was only after I had finished that process, and I was confident in who I truly am. I can’t expect you to immediately be comfortable with me being gay, or to accept that this is the current reality of my life. I know it will take time, but I want you to have a better understanding from my perspective of what this means to me. I am still the same person I’ve always been at the core, and hopefully the actual changes in my life that have taken place will never overshadow that. What matters the most to me is that you still love me. Even if it takes time for you to accept who I really am. I want you to know that you are definitely not in an isolated situation. There are many other Mormon mothers out there with gay or lesbian children. The “illusion of perfection” that is perpetu-

ated within the church probably keeps the general knowledge of gay members to a minimum, even if the family is aware of it. It wasn’t until I entered the gay community that I realized how many other gay Mormons are out there, and that I wasn’t alone. Some are still active, and somehow find ways to balance their lives in the church and their lives as gay men. The stories that are shared between ourselves greatly help us to understand the situations that we are in, and that we have a support network all around us — even in the smallest of cities. Our natural bond has made some of these guys my closest and dearest friends. We all have different levels of acceptance within our families, some had it easy, others are still trying to find understanding and acceptance. I wish that all Mormons could know just how many gays are in their midst so that they could see that even the most active Mormons have ties to the gay community. Whether we are tied together through family, friends, church, work, or their neighborhoods, we are there. I wish they could know all of us and see that we are normal people, but diverse in our livelihood, and have more similarities in life than dissimilarities with everyone else. I know I couldn’t ask for such clarity of people’s sexual orientation at this point in time. It’s too personal a thing for many to share, and it should be their right to share it when they are ready. In some instances, especially in the Mormon church, parents or family members will disown their gay family members once they come out, or are found out. Some will try to put them in therapy to correct what cannot be changed. It is the fear of that type of response which keeps so many of us in the shadows and prevent us from sharing our real lives with the ones we love. It is sad that selfproclaimed Christians can be so mean with respect to those who are different than themselves, even when their own lives are far from perfection. The major common element that we all share is that we want to be loved. We want to have somebody special to share our lives with. If you take away the physical differences of each other’s bodies, and it is just two people who love each other, then it is no longer an issue of gay or straight. It is such a simple difference, why is it such a big deal? Just like straight couples, we enjoy cuddling on the couch watching a movie, holding hands, staring into each other’s eyes and enjoy being with someone special. We meet each other at work, at school, in bars, in cafes, online, or on the street just the same. We date and get to know each other and form relationships just like everyone else. There is so much more to our lives and relationships than just sex. I wish people could see past that. I don’t want to live the life of solidar-

Nov e mber 12, 20 09  |  issue 1 41  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  15

ity and loneliness that the LDS church would have me live to meet its standards as a gay man. I want to love and be loved just like everybody else. I want to find someone to share my life with, and grow old with. The mere thought of waiting out this lifetime without someone is unfathomable. I hope that when I do bring someone home for you to meet that you would accept him, and see that the love and compassion we have for each other is no different than the love and compassion you share with dad. One of the great things about the gay community is that we embrace diversity and we accept people for who they are. They don’t feel like they need to conform to stereotypes and tend to be more comfortable in their skin than most people. Although there are general gay stereotypes out there, we come from all walks of life, we are all different, and we appreciate being loved and befriended for who we are, not for who people want us to be. The big issue between gays and the Mormon church right now seems a bit twisted to me. The church says they are defending traditional marriage, and the gays are saying that the church is denying a minority group their civil rights. To me, this isn’t about religion, or how any religion defines their marriages, especially the Mormons (historically and eternally, their concepts aren’t traditional). If dad were in a car accident, and not expected to live through the night, you would be able to see him and be by his

side, but a gay couple in the same situation wouldn’t have the same right. No matter how many years of their lives they shared together, the surviving partner would be forced to stay in the waiting room while their partner dies. That alone is simply cruel beyond imagination, but it happens. The inheritance rights would be non-existent for the survivor as well. Then there is insurance and tax benefits — just a few of the basic civil rights you know and enjoy that come with the title of marriage. What is so different between a straight couple and a gay couple making lives together with long term commitments that it warrants the automatic granting of rights to one and not the other? It doesn’t really matter what it’s called, the granting of civil rights in a committed relationship by a government would not redefine marriages for religions. Religions can continue doing marriages as they see fit and the government can grant the same civil rights to any other couple making the same commitment, regardless of whether they are gay or straight. Religion shouldn’t even be an issue in this matter, should it? I know it will take time, but I hope that you at least have a better understanding of what this means to me, and has put some things into perspective. I am happy as a gay man, and I have gotten more out of life since I have accepted myself as I truly am, and I hope that you can one day be happy for me as well.  Q

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Mountain Meadows Mascara Help Finish Jim Matheson’s Gender Change! by Ruby Ridge

H

ola, darlings!

I have breaking news that you will only hear from the trusted global news apparatus that is Ruby Ridge and the Mountain Meadows Mascara. Our very own representative from the Utah Second District, Congressman Jim Matheson is undergoing gender reassignment! I know, I know ... who knew? Apparently the whole male-to-female transition plan had been kept very hush hush, but it burst spectacularly into public view during the health care debate, when Matheson revealed that his balls and most of his spine had been removed. Well actually he didn’t mention it, but actions speak louder than words, so when he voted against the first meaningful health care and insurance reform bill in decades, it was pretty clear that his ne-ne’s are now in a jar. Despite every subcommittee draft, amendment and eventually, their own versions of health care reform; plus positive polling numbers supporting reform across the country — apparently that was not enough to calm Representative Matheson’s jitters. So he voted with the Republican Minority whose only goal is to destroy the bill at all costs. For someone elected by a fairly progressive district in a liberal party with solid congressional and

senate majorities and the White House, Jim Matheson’s decision comes across as confused, conflicted, and tired ... so I’m blaming the estrogen therapy! Yes, I know its Transgendere Awareness Month and I shouldn’t be making

Matheson’s decision comes across as confused, conflicted, and tired…so I’m blaming the estrogen therapy! fun of such a serious topic like gender reassignment surgery, but dammit kittens, how else can you make any sense out of Congressman Matheson’s change of heart? It defies logic. But here is my real fear of fears, muffins. If Matheson feels so insecure in his district, so desperate to keep his job in the next election cycle, and so will-

ing to pander to the conservatives on something as monumental and overdue as health care reform, then what is he going to do on pivotal issues that really impact us as a minority? Is he going to support ENDA or is he going to fear the backlash? Will he push to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, or will he fold because he’s afraid of the primaries? And forget about him supporting us on repealing the Defense of Marriage Act. That would cause his campaign focus groups to start bleeding from their ears! We have to face the fact that our Democratic Congressman, who garnered all sorts of support and donations from the gay community in past elections, is going to throw us under the bus solely to keep his office and advance his career. To quote Christian Soriano of Project Runway fame ... ”that’s just Tranny Tragic!” Despite my obvious disappointment I should tell you that the charity we are supporting for Third Friday Bingo this month is the Stonewall Democrats. Typically we don’t give to political causes (well, we did support Planned Parenthood PAC last year but that was more for their health advocacy) but we decided to make an exception. The rest of the Matrons of Mayhem want to donate to them for their general fund, but I would rather they spent it on a few nice wigs and some sensible shoes for Jim Matheson’s new alter ego. Mimi-Mimi-Mi. Matheson. Angry Ruby? Oh just a tad!  Q You can see Ruby Ridge and the Matrons of Mayhem performing live, in all of their politically incorrect polyester glory every third Friday of the month at Third Friday Bingo (First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 E. in SLC at 7 p.m.). 3FB is hetero friendly, so feel free to bring your friends, family, and co-workers.

Like a Gay Man with Amnesia — We Come Out Every Two Weeks

SNAP: Stan Penfold’s Victory With a strong showing in early polls and endorsements from such political heavyweights as Paula Julander, Karen Shepherd and Rocky Anderson, we’re not surprised that Utah AIDS Foundation Director Stan Penfold won District 3’s seat on the Salt Lake City Council, Nov. 3. We could say a lot about how revolutionary having an openly gay man on the council will be, or how his election reflects the diversity of his district, but doing so is just rehashes what everyone else has said so far. Penfold’s election is snapworthy not only because he is an advocate for gay and transgender people, but because he is a staunch advocate of diverse neighborhoods, immigrant rights, environmental issues and a host of other progressive issues that the city needs more people to support. We look forward to seeing what he’ll do in the next two years.

SLAP: Maine A rather far-reaching slap, as we have to extend our arms across a continent to make it. But as Proposition 8 reminded us last year, other state’s politics are Utah’s politics. Even though the vote to repeal Maine’s gay marriage law was narrow — 53 percent to 47 percent of votes — we’re still disheartened and angry that a majority has once again taken away rights from a minority with impunity, all the while braying about their “struggle” against “tremendous odds.” The loss of Maine is a blow to the fight for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender rights, and another reason why we have to keep fighting, donating money, writing our representatives, lobbying and, yes, showing up to rallies.

SNAP: Charities

agazine inment M

terta News & En n ia b s e L y and Utah’s Ga

16  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  issue 1 41  |  Nov e mber 12, 20 09

Snaps & Slaps

801-649-6663 QSaltLake.com

It’s been a dreary year for the economy and for many of Utah’s most vulnerable people. But despite slow donations and an increased demand for services, groups like the Utah AIDS Foundation, the People with AIDS Coalition of Utah, the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire, the Homeless Youth Resource Center and many, many others are still stepping up to the plate and providing help with incredible courage and determination. As we move toward this holiday season, when the weather is at its bleakest and need at its highest, QSaltLake encourages you to help these worthy groups in any way that you can.

Creep of the Week Ken Cuccinelli

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by D’Anne Witkowski

J

sudbay of america blog says of Ken Cuccinelli, Republican candidate for Virginia Attorney General, “He’s very scary.� Why is he so scary? Well, he wants to put gay sex-havers in jail, for one. A Virginia Pilot editorial endorsing Cuccinelli’s Democratic opponent revealed some pretty far-out shit. “My view is that homosexual acts, not homosexuality, but homosexual acts are wrong. They’re intrinsically wrong. And I think in a natural law-based country it’s appropriate to have policies that reflect that,� Cuccinelli replied when asked about an antidiscrimination policy that included gays and lesbians. “They don’t comport with natural law. I happen to think that it represents (to put it politely; I need my Thesaurus to be polite) behavior that is not healthy to an individual and in aggregate is not healthy to society.� And this from a guy who, as a Senator, opposed stricter laws against cockfighting. But at least he’s not against homos, just homo sex. It’s no surprise that The Family Foundation, an anti-gay, anti-abortion, anti-stem cell research, anti-no fault divorce group, is totally gay for Cuccinelli. In a column in the Washington Post, Marc Fisher described the warm welcome the Foundation gave Cuccinelli at a 2008 rally when he was a state senator. “Cuccinelli told the friendly audience that he was here to stand tall on ‘abortion bills and the fight over the homosexual agenda,’ a phrase he used five times over the course of a 10-minute talk,� Fisher wrote. Five times in 10-minutes? Somebody’s got homos on the brain. “When you look at the homosexual agenda, I cannot support something that I believe brings nothing but selfdestruction, not only physically but of their soul,� Cuccinelli told the group. According to Fisher, “(Senate Majority Leader Dick) Saslaw sees Cuccinelli as a prime example of the kind of social conservative who is too willoe

ing to use popular discomfort with an outsider group in society as a way to appeal to voters.� “It’s been pretty fashionable around here for the past four or five years to pound gays into the ground,� Saslaw said. “Now it’s immigrants. When they get done with them, it’ll be someone else. They make their living on that.� Hey now, Cuccinelli needs to put anti-gay food on his anti-gay family table. Plus, his record on all things homo goes back a while. In 2005 Cuccinelli got all hot-and-bothered about a sexual health fair at George Mason University. “They’re pushing a pro-sex agenda and an anything-goes agenda,� he said of the fair, which included “five booths with information on abstinence, condoms and self-help exams, as well as sexual orientation� according to WGAL.com. Not surprisingly, he had a big objection to the gay stuff. “You can’t have safe homosexual sex. There is no such thing and yet one of the sponsoring groups is the homosexual group on campus,� he said. And as we know, he doesn’t mind homosexuals as long as there’s no sex involved. Oh, and by the way, Cuccinelli’s campaign for attorney general is going pretty well. “This office, for someone who focuses on it day-to-day for a long period of time, can affect the direction of Virginia government,� Cuccinelli told the Washington Post. “It isn’t one dramatic step on any given day, or getting one bill passed. It’s the gradual, slow, drip-drip-drip impact that you can have.� Hey, Virginia, this guy might soon be your top law enforcement honcho. Prepare to get pissed on. Q

At least he’s not against homos, just homo sex.

D’Anne Witkowski has been gay for pay since 2003. She’s a freelance writer and poet (believe it!). When she’s not taking on the creeps of the world she reviews rock and roll shows in Detroit with her twin sister and teaches writing at the University of Michigan.

Nov e mber 12, 20 09 | issue 1 41 | QSa lt L a k e | 17

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Lambda Lore The Murder of Tony Adams by Ben Williams

N

ovember is a dark month in

which deadly deeds have been done. Murder. Homosexual homicide. Between 1969 and 1978 Gay Liberation came to Salt Lake City with the formation of gay churches, openly gay bars and a gay student club. In 1974, the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality as a clinical mental illness. At its giddy peak in 1977, Salt Lake City’s gay organizations protested Anita Bryant’s appearance at the Utah State Fair, forced the state not to hold church-sponsored dances in the Capi-

tol’s rotunda, forced Hotel Utah to pay a settlement for breaking a contract and helped more and more people to come out of the closet. Despite all of this, in the following year an event occurred that nearly sent the gay community back into the closet. In 1978 a series of murders of men in Utah’s gay community took place. Most of the men were closet cases and murdered in compromising situations. But when a gay activist was murdered on Nov. 3, 1978, shock waves of fear rippled throughout the community. Anthony “Tony” Adams was a gay African-American socialist. Rev. Bob Waldrop, then-pastor of the Salt Lake Metropolitan Community Church, called him “a true freedom fighter.” Born July 30, 1953 in Baltimore, Md., Adams was raised in Salt Lake City and graduated from Judge Memorial High School. He was attending the University of Utah at the time of his death. As a leader in the Salt Lake Chapter of the Socialist Workers Party, Adams had helped organize the Anita Bryant Protest in 1977. His membership in the SWP kept the leadership of Dignity/Integrity, Catholic and Episcopalian gay support groups, from joining the Salt Lake Coalition for Human Rights of which he was a member. They claimed that their Christian values made them not want to associate with a Marxist. At the time of his murder, Tony Adams was the campaign manager for the Socialist Workers Party Congressional candidate Bill Hoyle who ran in the Nov. 7 general election. Adams was murdered just days before this election, which led the National Socialist Workers Party to believe that Tony’s death was politically motivated. At about 8:45 p.m. on Nov. 6, 1978, Bill Woodbury, Adams’ boyfriend, Rev. Bob Waldrop and another friend went to Adams’ apartment at 125 E. 1st Avenue. They were concerned because no one had seen or heard from him for several days. After climbing in through a window, Woodbury found his boyfriend in the bedroom, naked and covered in blood. Adams had been stabbed repeatedly with a butcher knife and his throat slit. An autopsy showed that he had been dead for several days and murdered on Nov. 3. Coincidentally, police detectives were still investigating the death of 16year-old Sharon Schollmeyer, who was found strangled to death in the same apartment building in December 1977.

During that November, gay leaders patiently waited for the police to catch Tony Adams’ killer(s). When news of the assassination of Harvey Milk on Nov. 27, 1978 reached Salt Lake City, gay activists in Utah feared the worst — that vocal gays were being targeted. On Dec. 13, 1978, Rev. Waldrop, along with members of the Salt Lake Coalition for Human Rights and Sid Stapleton, a Socialist Workers Party official from New York, met with Public Safety Commissioner Glen Greener and Salt Lake City Police Chief Bud Willoughby. They demanded that police “provide more vigorous protection” in a “general atmosphere of violence in the community against gay people.” The group accused the police of being insensitive to the needs of the gay community and suggested they were involved in a “calculated program of harassment.” Rev. Waldrop told the city officials that he had been the recipient of 22 death threats in the past two years, and added he had heard rumors that police were looking the other way when violent acts against homosexuals happened. Stapleton accused the police of dragging their feet investigating the recent murders of homosexuals and stated the investigation into the death of Adams should be considered an “assassination of an outspoken political leader.” Both Greener and Willoughby denied the charges, claiming that murders were being “rigorously” investigated and that a suspect in the murder of Doug Coleman, another gay man, was in the state mental hospital for observation. Coleman, 28, was last seen leaving the Sun Tavern on Nov. 30, 1978. He was later found in an empty boxcar behind the Union Pacific station, shot in the head. Police determined that robbery did not appear to be a motive since Coleman’s wallet was found untouched. Community leaders were not satisfied with the officials’ responses and claimed that they had inside knowledge from a “closeted police officer” that some officers in the police department joked about Adams’ death, saying, “Nigger, Queer, Communist — Three Strikes You’re Out.” The meeting ended unsatisfactorily with Rev. Waldrop stating that fear was sweeping the gay community; that there might be “an L.A. Slasher type out there” who was systematically murdering persons thought to be homosexual. Waldrop noted that four persons with ties to the gay community had recently been murdered in the Salt Lake area. The SWP charged that the police had been “lax and ineffectual” in pursuing the investigation. They also charged that the police had harassed Adams prior to his death by entrapping him in a sex charge. It was uncovered that shortly before his murder, the city vice squad had arrested Adams for soliciting sex acts for hire. The police claimed

1 8  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  issue 1 41  |  Nov e mber 12, 20 09

that Adam’s phone number had been scrawled in a telephone booth and in restrooms throughout the Salt Lake area. The vice squad officers then called the number and arranged to meet him for a “sex act.” Upon meeting with Adams they arrested him. Shirley Pedler, director of the Utah ACLU, upon learning about this situation questioned Chief Willoughby about this method of locating “sex offenders.” The chief promised that he would “look into the situation,” but nothing was ever done. On Dec. 30, 1978, the SWP went to the United Sates Department of Justice Civil Rights Division requesting that the FBI investigate the death of Tony Adams. The maintained, “we believe the murderer violated his civil rights and also committed the crime of interfering in a political campaign for federal office.” Then the Socialist Workers Party outlined why they felt that the motive for the murder was political. First, there was no evidence that anything was taken from his apartment, thus burglary did not seem likely. Second, the murder was particularly vicious — Adams was stabbed three times in the chest and then after death his throat was cut. The SWP charged that the Salt Lake Police Department was “not pursuing this case with the attention a political crime of this type would warrant. Conflicting and confusing reports from the police as to physical evidence and the progress of the investigation raise questions in our mind about the competence of the police to investigate the murder of a man to whom they were actively hostile.” The murders of homosexual men in 1978 cast a long shadow over the city’s gay community. Rumors abounded and the trust level between the police department and the community became virtually nonexistent. When rumors surfaced that the knife used to murder Adams was taken from the Salt Lake Police Department’s evidence room, many feared that someone in the department was the killer of both Adams and Coleman. These same people felt that the police were covering it up to avoid a scandal. For whatever reason Tony Adams was murdered, his death sent a pall over the newly emerging gay community, imparting to many activists a sense of melancholy and fear. Gay Liberation activism virtually came to an end in Salt Lake City for the next four years until a new generation of gay leaders unfamiliar with the events of 1978 came forward to take their place. Tony Adams’ murder remains unsolved to this day and is listed as cold case #1978-86442. The police’s synopsis of the crime is simple: “The victim was found inside his apartment. He had been stabbed. The initial investigation showed that the victim was a member of a local radical element.” Q

The Straight Line Answer the Question by Bob Henline

O

ne year ago the nation watched

as voters in California took to the polls and overturned that state’s same-sex marriage statute after months of fighting, television ads and hateful propaganda. In a much quieter (at least relative to national media attention) environment, Maine voters did the same thing on Nov. 3, overturning their state’s statute that legalized same-sex marriage. What I don’t understand is how anyone who calls themselves American and claims to believe in the principles of freedom and liberty upon which this nation is based can go to the polls and cast a vote to deny a basic freedom to another human being. Before the conservatives get their knickers in a twist, let me say: I know, the right to marry is not delineated in the Constitution.

However, it is a right that other members of society enjoy, and hence it is one that all should be allowed to share equally. The very nature of liberty demands such equality. In the past there have been several laws restricting marriage. Interracial marriages were not allowed in some states. Just recently a Justice of the Peace in Louisiana was forced to resign over his refusal to perform a marriage for an interracial couple. But there’s the difference: He was forced to resign over his bigotry. Somehow we’ve decided as a society that it’s acceptable to oppress

our brothers and sisters in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer community. Why is that? Every law we pass in some way restricts liberty. That is the nature of law and the nature of society. As individuals we surrender certain freedoms and accept certain limitations in order to live within the confines of a social order. In a free society, however, those limitations are accepted equally by all members, as are the privileges of citizenship. A right is not truly a right when it is reserved only for certain parts of society.

All people have the basic right to love and be loved

You may read this and ask why this is such an issue. It’s just a marriage, right? Perhaps. However, in addition to the legal benefits that stem from marriage, there is the real issue of basic human liberty. All people have the basic right to love and be loved, to marry and to pursue happiness on their own terms. I certainly don’t want anyone telling me who I can love, who I can marry. How could I possibly justify making those decisions for anyone else? I’m going to ask this question again, and I’ll keep asking it until someone gives me a decent answer. How does the marriage of a gay couple adversely impact the marriage of anyone else? That’s the argument we hear, right? The denigration of “traditional” marriage. From whence comes this denigration?  Q

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Nov e mber 12, 20 09  |  issue 1 41  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  19

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Gay Geeks Charity Begins Online by JoSelle Vanderhooft

ell , geeky ones ,

’ tis the season: of bright lights and winter wonderlands, of a score of delightful A Christmas Carol productions, of at least a dozen religious and cultural symbols, and of parties where your employer asks everybody to bring white elephant gifts and you end up bringing home a dollar store bra that itches, so you never wear it. True story. It’s a season of unparalleled beauty and, of course, Utah’s blistering cold. As I write this column, the November weather is sunny and crisp — however, I am skeptical. But I digress. Most importantly, this is the season for giving. As you probably noticed, this issue is largely dedicated to a number of worthy causes, organizations and people that are in need of your money, donations, time and loving-kindness as this bastard of a year draws to a close, and this bastard of an economy keeps on being a bastard. I hope that you can offer some help, or at the very least some prayers and/or good energy and thoughts to at least one (note: PWACU’s poinsettias make gorgeous and affordable gifts that can and do outlast Christmas trees. Just sayin’). Winter makes me cold and miserable, but for some reason (because I’m stuck in the house being cold and miserable?) it also makes me more reflective — particularly about ways in which we can all be more charitable; how we can, as Charles Dickens so beautifully put it in A Christmas Carol, regard our fellow humans “as if they really were fellow-travellers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.â€? Quite serendipitously, a perfect example tumbled into my lap about a week ago. Among my many author friends is Catherynne M. Valente, who writes fantasy novels and poetry of dizzying imagination and delicious post-graduate vocabulary, and whose novel Palimpsest (speaking of other awesome giftmassy things ...) provided fodder for this column in March or so. Earlier this month, Catherynne and her fiancĂŠ Dmitri got hitched and headed off on a honeymoon to St. Petersburg — because Dmitri was born in Ukraine, because Catherynne’s latest novel is set there, and because they are both of questionable taste and actually like subzero temperatures. I say the last with affection,

you understand. Before disembarking on their honeymoon, the two consulted with Expedia — the cheap-o air fare/hotel booking site that Dmitri’s parents had used to book the happy couple’s trip as a surprise gift — to make sure they had their travel documents in order. An Expedia agent told them that they would not need travel visas to enter the country. Dubious, they called Expedia and received the same information. Assured, they packed their bags and headed off for a week in subzero temperatures. Since I’m not writing about dorky Christmas specials or why zombies are, indeed, awesomesauce, you can prob-

Quite serendipitously, a perfect example tumbled into my lap about a week ago. ably guess that their trip didn’t exactly go smoothly. Upon arriving in Frankfurt, Germany to switch flights, Catherynne and Dmitri were informed, “Surprise! You do need visas after all.� After a lot of phone calls, they managed to get the Russian consulate to give them an exception if Expedia provided a letter of visa support. Expedia refused, proving once again that corporations are love. Now, this story could have had any number of increasingly unhappy endings. Dmitri and Catherynne could have spent their honeymoon in Germany. They could have turned around and flown home. They could have been stranded there still even as I type this because bureaucracies are sometimes awesome like that. As I write this column, however, they are happily ensconced in a St. Petersburg hotel room. Thanks to the charity of a bunch of geeks in their pajamas.

20  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  issue 1 41  |  Nov e mber 12, 20 09

Being, like many members of Generation Y, pretty down with the intranetz, Catherynne posted the fiasco on her blog — which is fairly high traffic, thanks to her awesome writing skills. Running low on funds, she very grudgingly asked friends to make a donation to an online novel she is writing. People did that, but a few angry geeks took it one step further. Like many protesting injustice, stupidity and downright bullshit, they organized a Facebook page encouraging people to call Expedia and, uh, demand that they stop being jerks. The call for the cavalry blazed through blogs, chatrooms and Twitter like wildfire. Heck, Neil Gaiman himself even re-tweeted it! In a matter of hours, Catherynne and her husband had money to help them, a sympathetic Expedia agent on the horn and a company desperately trying to backpedal while wiping drippy yolk from its face. Folks, these kinds of things happen all the time. I don’t just mean a company behaving abysmally when they can easily help someone. I mean people losing their homes to foreclosure, losing their jobs and wondering if there will be a next meal, people being hurt and denied justice (remember D.J. Bell and Dan Fair?). People in dire situations whose cries for help go ignored and unheeded, not just because of uncaring bureaucrats and CEOs, but because we simply don’t know they’re out there. And, you know what? Geeks can change that. We saw that we can in Catherynne and Dmitri’s case, we saw it in D.J. Bell and Dan Fair’s case, as their friends put up injustice801.com hours after their brutal beatings and Bell’s unjust arrest. People being hurt, neglected and in need and who are reaching out for help through the internet. In the 10 years since I first logged onto this “series of tubes,� the wired world has evolved into, yes, a place for harassment and degradation, but also a place of incredible charity and kindness. In the last year alone, I have seen online campaigns raise thousands of dollars to help people keep their homes, to help uninsured patients with life-saving surgeries, to let the world know that one of our fellow travelers to the grave is frightened, despairing, in need. Geeky ones, we have so much potential to do good, and it’s often as easy as making a blog post, sending a few dollars via Paypal to a stranger with a broken home or a broken bone, or just spreading the word accompanied by the characters RT @. As we enter the holiday season, please don’t forget how truly powerful you are, and how little it takes online — or off — to do good, and to remind the world that we are all one people, bound on the same journey. Alas, if only re-tweeting “JoSelle wants a green Christmas of 70 degrees! Please send Heat Miser!� had the same result.  Q

Who’s Your Daddy? One Bad Mother by Christopher Katis

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Niko’s birth certificate . K elly noted with great amuse ment that I am listed as the “Mother/Parent.� He’s so used to people seeing his name and assuming he’s a woman, so this was a small victory. It took almost a full year to reach us, arriving about a week before Niko’s third birthday. It was rather symbolic timing: My name appearing in place of the woman who gave birth to him. I worry sometimes about our kids not having a mom in their lives. Don’t get me wrong: If I do say so myself, Kelly and I are pretty terrific parents. But there’s something about a mom. Part of it stems from being tight with my own mom — hello! I’m gay and Greek. Of course I adore my mom. Part of it comes from seeing how the boys interact with women. Take when we lived in L.A., Gus took on a completely different demeanor when he was with his best friend’s mom. Maybe it was the softness in her voice or her encouraging tone. Whatever it was, she brought out a tender, vulnerable side in him. I like that side; it’s an interesting juxtaposition to his usual rough-housing, boy’s-boy persona. Actually, the subject of a female role model was first broached by an unexpected source: our former neighbor Jim. Now, Jim’s a hell of a nice guy, albeit a bit wacky — he asked me to describe him as someone who has ridden his motorcycle across four continents, but I can’t get over the fact that he has photos of all the foosball tables he’s ever played. In a moment that many would view as completely void of boundaries, he told us it didn’t matter if Kelly was a stay-at-home parent — the mom, if you will — Gus needed a constant, reliable female influence. Jim spent the early part of his childhood without a father. It wasn’t until he was 14 that his uncle adopted had him and he had a constant male influence in his life. He told us that having a dad made a world of difference. He correctly recognized that if he had missed not having a dad, our kid would miss not having a mom. Luckily, moving back to Utah opened the door to far more consistent feminine influences for the boys. My sister is a very proactive presence in their lives. And although we sometimes question e recently received

whether she has the ability to say “no� to them, we cannot deny the amazing benefits they experience by having her in their lives. Niko is still too young to really verbalize any feelings he may have about missing a mom. Mostly when he’s playing with his dinosaurs, trains or cars, the smaller ones are the babies and the larger ones the daddies. Since he started preschool, however, babies and mommies have become more frequent. But Gus does express his feelings on the subject. The other day he insisted he had already seen a movie that was on TV. When we asked him when he claimed he watched it with his mom. Then he added, “Before you two came along and stole me.� What we did next may horrify you: We busted up laughing. And that made him laugh, too. Then we gently, lovingly reminded him that neither he nor Niko had ever lived with their mom. And we reinforced that no matter what, she is the one who made our family. What I’ve come to realize is that my boys simply need what every kid needs: a family. One comprised of men and women, old and young, gay and straight. And really, isn’t creating family what gay and lesbian people do best? My kids don’t just have two dads. They have dozens of dads. And dozens of moms. Sure, some of them go by “uncle� or “aunt,� and a lot of them aren’t related to us in any way, but they’re still our family. Every year, when my sons’ birthdays roll around, I wonder if their mom is thinking about them. Does she picture a life for them with a mom and a dad, a white picket fence, the whole Norman Rockwell fantasy? Has the idea of them having two dads ever crossed her mind? Does she worry whether they’re happy? I’ll probably never know. But every year on their birthdays, I send her a mental message: “Your sons are loved. By more people than you can imagine.� One day when Niko’s grown up and has to have his birth certificate for some reason, I hope he’ll show it to Gus and they’ll get a good chuckle at seeing me listed as Mother/Parent. I just pray if they ever say I was a bad mother, they’ll mean like Shaft!  Q

Nov e mber 12, 20 09  |  issue 1 41  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  21

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Feature — Homeless Youth

22  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  issue 1 41  |  Nov e mber 12, 20 09

Homeless Youth Pride Walk Heads Home by JoSelle Vanderhooft

W

ith the winter months bearing down and

2009 crawling to a close, two Salt Lake women who have spent half a year walking across the country to raise awareness about the epidemic of homelessness among gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning youth are picking up their 50-lb. backpacks and slowly making their way back to the city where they first announced their march in April. Since May, friends Chloe Noble and Jill Hardman have traveled nearly 1,000 miles across the United States to raise awareness of the 20 to 40 percent of homeless youth who identify as other than straight cisgender (not transgender) and to conduct interviews with and capture video footage of youth living on the streets — to better show the general public these youths’ circumstances and needs. With the exception of a few weeks’ rest in Salt Lake City to recuperate and re-supply, they have traveled mostly by foot and lived entirely on the streets — of course, without making use of services designated for homeless people. They have visited a number of major cities including Seattle, Portland, Ore., San Francisco, New York City and Atlanta, where they contacted QSaltLake with the latest update on their journey. They are currently making plans to walk to New Orleans and expect to return to Salt Lake City in January. Their journey will have lasted nine months. Additionally, wrote Noble in a recent e-mail from the road, she and Hardman were involved in the Oct. 11 National Equality March where Noble was one of the day’s speakers. The march, organized by gay rights leader Cleve Jones, was held on National Coming Out Day to protest the government’s continuing unequal treatment of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender citizens, and which drew some 250,000 participants. Noble called their participation in the march “a huge honor.” “Cleve is one of the most inspiring people I have ever met,” she said. “I know along with many of the youth I have worked with nationwide that he, along with Robin Mcgehee, Kip Williams, Dan Choi and Dustin Lance Black are among some of our greatest heroes.” The pair were asked to organize the march’s youth events in August, and, amazingly, did all of the planning and groundwork while on the road and on the streets, battling inhospitable weather, hunger, fatigue and the police harassment that is typically, they say, part and parcel of every homeless American’s day. Their organization, Operation Shine America, was one of the many that also held events throughout the capital in support of the march over the Oct. 11 weekend. “[I] asked Jude McNeil, director of Youth Programs, at the Utah Pride Center to jump on board, and together [we] created a national team of youth, responsible for organizing over 12 youth-lead events

at the march,” said Noble. These youth events, she added, in which people of all ages, sexual orientations and gender identities participated, included a youth march on the capital, a spontaneous flashmob at Union Station, and a “speak out” event where homeless youth got to address march participants about the horrendous conditions they face on the streets of America’s cities. Additionally, homeless youth in D.C. also put on a spontaneous “Youth Shine,” an event that Noble and Hardman had previously held in all cities they visited. “A Shine is a community event that raises awareness on a community issue,” said Noble, noting, of course, that the issue being raised at these events was the status of homeless youth in America. “It harnesses and harmonizes the power of spontaneous action, natural unity and grassroots efforts to bring about genuine justice.” In everything they have done, Noble said they have tried to empower all of the youth they have met, to help them build bridges and networks of support among each other. “It is our intention to unify youth through positive expression, and to teach them how to become mutual mentors in a process used to express themselves and empower others through personal, local, national and international activism,” she said. Such networks, both among homeless and housed youth and in the communities in which they survive, are as necessary as they are long overdue, said Noble. In the pair’s six months on the road and on the nation’s streets, they have seen a host of horrors and have catalogued many on their Twitter, Facebook and YouTube outlets as well as on their blog at pridewalk2009. These have included: attempting to sleep on the steps of a church during a rainstorm only to be asked to leave by the church’s priest; witnessing children as young as 12 living in homeless youth camps; and encountering youth with untreated, life-threatening illnesses.

‘A Living Nightmare’

When the duo stopped in San Francisco, Noble wrote that she was horrified to discover teenagers as young as 14 dying on the streets from contagious MRSA, a staph infection usually contracted in hospitals. “I can’t even put into words the horrific things we have experienced,” she said. “In San Francisco, a place often heralded as a gay mecca [we found] many youth covered in highly contagious MRSA ... so bad that it literally crippled them. They were covered in bloody lesions that leaked puss visibly through their clothes. They could not walk. And the hospital would just give them antibiotics and kick them out onto the streets again. Antibiotics is

[sic] dangerous to give to someone with MRSA, and youth often die from infections as bad as the ones we saw.” “In every city, including Salt Lake City, homeless youth have to endure police brutality,” Noble continued. “They have to endure being treated like a disgusting reject of society. They endure survival sex, assaults on their character and body, mental illness, and eventually sometimes even drug and alcohol abuse. These homeless youth, especially LGBTQ youth live in a deep isolation from everything and everyone around them. Storefronts are only walls. The streets are ... ridden with authority figures who will often hurt you or exploit you.” “It’s amazing how different people treat you when they think you’re homeless,” wrote Hartman in the most recent post to the walk’s blog, dated Oct. 7. “One of the hardest things I’ve experienced on this journey is the constant dehumanization. It breaks you down, destroys your spirit, and causes you to lose faith in humanity. When someone approaches me in those moments I find myself reacting with anger before they even say a word. And a lot of times, all that person wanted to do was give me a dollar or a sandwich. My eyes fill with tears and I am ashamed when I realize that I have forgotten once again that there are still kind and caring human beings in this world. Now I understand and have compassion for the homeless who are aggressive and sometimes verbally attack you when you walk by with your coffee and breakfast muffin. You see, we give what we receive, it’s just human nature.” Additionally, Noble said she and Hardman have encountered widespread disbelief that these things exist, particularly that people in authority are capable of hurting homeless youth. “I believe some people want us to say everything is OK out there and that there are amazing organizations taking care of everything,” she continued. “The truth is, what these youth experience every day is a living nightmare,” — along with understanding the exhaustion and demoralization that comes from having nowhere safe to sleep and no access to such facilities as public restrooms. “We have cried more times than I can count. We have even gotten in huge rageful fights with one another, each time we were so far in survival mode living on the streets with these youth,” she explained. “Jill and I understand now where the violence comes from. It comes from having to be dehumanized every single day from one thing, one person, one experience after another. The pain, fear and anger are relentless. How these youth have any hope at all is a miracle.”

The Road Ahead

And yet, said Noble, the youth she has met still hope for and dream of a future where they have a place — especially youth the two have met in Salt Lake City. “LGBTQ homeless youth in Salt lake City are some of the most hardcore youth we have met,” she said. “People so quickly forget. Because Utah has no youth shelter, every homeless youth in Salt Lake City lives on the street. Every single one. There is literally no where else for them to go. Unless it is into the slimy bed of a child predator.” Given that Salt Lake City has roughly 855 homeless youth (43 percent of whom identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or “other than straight”), according to recent data collected by the city’s Homeless Youth Resource Center, Noble said that residents have a “moral responsibility” to make sure these youth are housed and safe. In fact, Noble thinks that the valley’s many gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender-headed households would be excellent places for them. She noted, however, that often “the governing forces of Utah” get in the way of attempts to get these youth off the streets. This is a phenomenon that QSaltLake has written about before, in our last article about the state of homeless youth in Utah dated August 2008. Currently, state law often limits what organizations, including the Utah Pride Center and the Homeless Youth Resource Center can do for homeless youth who are under 18. “Legally in this state there’s not much we can do for them without parental approval,” Rachel McNeil, the Utah Pride Center’s then-Youth Pro-

grams director, told QSaltLake last year. “As a social service agency we can serve homeless youth for up to eight hours without calling Child Protective Services or getting parental permission, and then they’ll check and see if the youth has been reported as a runaway.” Further, there are simply not a lot of safe places for Salt Lake City’s homeless youth to stay during the night, as both centers are equipped only to serve drop-in clients. Noble is hoping to help change that, not just in her home city but all over America. As the pair make their way back to Salt Lake Valley, Noble said they are working to create a national youth network “to help with the future of Operation Shine America.” She noted that 200 youth in a number of cities have already signed up to participate in a 2010 event, which the two are planning. “When I get back home to Utah, everyone better be ready because we are bringing a national youth network with us. And we are going to push hard for radical changes now,” she said. “Homeless LGBTQ youth will be our focus until there is a secure and radical change in the way they are perceived and treated in the United States. This can not be solved by drop-in centers, shelters and food boxes alone. The hearts and minds of the American people have to change. Until every LGBTQ citizen is treated with dignity and respect, homeless LGBTQ children as young as 12 will continue to die on the streets of America.”  Q

For more information about the walk visit pridewalk2009.org. Hartman and Noble are also posting video footage of their journeys to their YouTube account, operationshine.

Nov e mber 12, 20 09  |  issue 1 41  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  23

Feature — Homeless Youth

Homeless Youth Resource Center Seeing Increase in Youth In 2007, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force released a study on gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender-identified homeless youth that placed their numbers between 20 and 40 percent of all youth on the streets. Given that the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services places the number of homeless youth in the nation’s towns and cities between 574,000 and 1.6 million — homeless populations being notoriously difficult to quantify and track — this is a substantial, and frightening number. Even more alarming, Salt Lake City’s Homeless Youth Resource Center, which serves youth ages 16 to 21, found that the capital’s numbers are higher than the national average. In the most recent fiscal year (2008–2009), the resource center estimated that 43 percent of its clients identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or “other than heterosexual” — a number determined by surveys given to their clients. Just as troubling, the number of clients served this year has jumped substantially from 622 in the 2007–2008 fiscal year to 855. From two years ago, the number of youth served has shot up 110 percent, said Zach Hale, division director of Homeless Services for Volunteers of America, Utah, the organization that administers the Homeless Youth Resource Center and a number of other facilities for Utah’s homeless population. “The economy is affecting [the overall numbers],

and I think it’s affecting it in two different ways: physical and sexual abuse,” he said. “As stress levels rise in families, patience is kind of lacking, so we see that more violence goes on. When we’ve talked to other agencies in the valley that work with rape survivors and domestic violence, they have seen increases as well.” The second reason, he continued, was the lack of jobs, especially for young people, who are often kicked out of their homes when they cannot find work to support themselves. “A third reason is families being unable to take care of them, because of the entire family being evicted and becoming homeless,” he also noted. Statistically speaking, the pressures Hale describes are often worse for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and otherwise queer youth. NGLTF’s 2007 report also found that 26 percent of such youths were kicked out onto the streets after coming out to their parents or caregivers, up to 33 percent had engaged in survival sex and 42 percent abused alcohol. Devastatingly, nearly half have also attempted suicide. Unsurprisingly, these youth often have needs their straight cisgender [non-transgender] counterparts don’t have. “It’s really the disconnect from their family,” said Hale. “All our youth have that to some degree, but I think the manner by which LGBT youth are kicked

2 4  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  issue 1 41  |  Nov e mber 12, 20 09

out or choose to leave for lack of support is unique and probably is a significantly traumatic event in [their lives]. And then there’s not really feeling accepted ... valued because of who they are as people. And I think another thing is needing a supportive environment to find out who they are and what they want to be, and a space where they can feel comfortable expressing attraction and their sexuality. That’s a necessary thing as well. In our community there are only so many environments and spaces in which that exists.” Although the situation for Utah’s queer homeless youth is often bleak, particularly in the persistently sluggish economy, there have been some bright spots. Thanks at least in part to Chloe Noble and Jill Hardman’s Homeless Youth Pride Walk, the needs of homeless queer youth — and the center that serves them — have been on many people’s minds. Subsequently, donations have poured into the center. “The level of in-kind giving has exceeded our expectations and is allowing us to help meet the needs of over 850 homeless youth,” wrote Michelle Templin-Polasek, director of Community Engagement for Volunteers of America, Utah. “We find ourselves in a unique position going into the holiday season this year. At this time we are not in need of any further in-kind donations.” So, rather than food and items of clothing — with a few notable exceptions, such as men’s boxer shorts — the Homeless Youth Resource Center is most in need now of financial donations to help continue its services and to keep growing. Each weekday, the center offers youth a safe place to stay during daylight hours, shower and laundry facilities, and access to clothing donations, meals cooked twice daily and a food bank for youth who need to take food with them when they leave. The center also has case managers who can help youth with such tasks as getting ID cards and access to everything from medical care and subsidized housing to substance abuse treatment, disability benefits, and even help with transportation. Two staff members also coordinate a street outreach program to help youth who don’t know about the center or who are too distrustful of authority figures to drop by for such basic needs as food and toiletries. This year has also seen the creation of another full time position at the center — an unemployment specialist who helps youth secure job training and find work. The position, said Hale, is funded through the Pamela Atkinson Homeless Trust, one of the several organizations to which Utah taxpayers can donate to on their state tax forms. “We’ve had success,” he said. “[This position] started just a couple weeks ago, and we’ve had about 16 youth engaged in that, and four are employed.” The center is also preparing a number of activities for the holidays, such as a dinner the day before Thanksgiving and a holiday feast in December. The annual open house, which is usually held in November, will be pushed back to February 2010, Hale added. “At that time we’re going to be announcing our future plans and service gaps, where we’re going to go with those things,” said Hale. Currently, the Homeless Youth Resource Center is in need of a few specific items: Smith’s gift cards, fast food gift certificates, sleeping bags, all-season twoand three-person tents, bus tokens, winter coats in all sizes and men’s boxer shorts and boxer briefs in medium and large sizes. The community, said Hale, both the community at large and the valley’s gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender population, have been generous all year long, and he hopes to see that trend continue. “The word is out we’re in need,” he said.  Q

Local Church Feeds Homeless Youth

W

Homeless Youth Resource Center lost funding to be open on weekends and during breakfast on weekdays this April, a Salt Lake City woman stepped up to fill in the gap. Every morning except Sunday, Ginger Phillips, youth director and pastor’s assistant at Sacred Light of Christ Metropolitan Community Church, has offered a breakfast program for homeless youth up to 23 years old. She was inspired to create the program, she said, after attending the Utah Pride Center’s launch for Chloe Noble and Jill Hardman’s Homeless Youth Pride Walk in May. “A homeless youth named Katrina [Oakason] talked and told everybody at the launch that Volunteers of America [the group that administers the resource center] didn’t have breakfast or anything,” she recalled. “So I went down to the VOA the week after and asked them what they usually serve for breakfast and how many kids they usually get during breakfast hours. Then I went back and told the pastor that we really need to help these kids out, because they aren’t getting the most important meal of the day anymore and not getting anything on weekends.” Within a week, the church, which welcomes gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender members, was open for breakfast from 9–9:30 a.m. in their downstairs meeting space. Not realizing that she had to earn the trust of the youth she wanted to help, Phillips said she was disheartened because only a few youth showed up the first few weeks. “I remember going to the VOA and asking why they didn’t come,” she said. The reason: the youth, many of them with histories of abuse and mistreatment, needed time to trust her. So Phillips went to areas where the youth hang out during the day to talk to them and pass out fliers about the program. Gradually, more youth began showing up. On some mornings, Phillips said as many as 14 youth had come. “They don’t trust very well, and I feel very honored now that they have chosen our place as a place of trust,” she said. “That they trust our church to be fed in the morning and the word has gotten out.” hen the

But now that word has, Phillips said that the church serves homeless youth of all ages, from young adults to teenagers and pre-teens, some of whom are runaways and some of whom are even gang members. Some have even been barred from VOA facilities, at least temporarily, for behavior problems — problems that Phillips say don’t happen during breakfast. “We’ll get the ones who are on suspension from the VOA, [and] they’re usually really well behaved,” she said. “A couple times there’ve been kids

who have been rivals on the street and they’ll come to our church and be respectful of each other at our church. They’re on a common ground; they’re there to get food and that’s it.” With the exception of an occasional outside donation, Sacred Light of Christ’s small congregation purchases all of the breakfast food in bulk through its Sam’s Club account. Phillips noted that all of the food is fresh and hearty; favorites among the youth, she added, are eggs and orange juice.

“They can get as many helpings as they want,” she added. Just months after its beginning, some of the youth who access the breakfast program, said Phillips, are calling it “my favorite place to come during the day.” “That makes me feel really good,” she said. “I’m very protective of them. They’re like my kids, almost.”

The church welcomes donations of breakfast food items, particularly eggs and orange juice. Those who would like to donate may email Phillips at gingerspice72@msn.com.

FRIDAY, DEC. 11 AND SATURDAY, DEC. 12, 7:30PM FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH, 777 SOUTH 1300 EAST TICKETS AT SALTLAKEMENSCHOIR.ORG

Feature — Charities

’Tis the Season for Giving

T

he

winter

holidays

are

approaching fast, which means that the season of giving is well upon us. With an economy still struggling to restart itself, funding for Utah’s AIDS Drug Assistance Program running in the red and closed to new applicants, and increasing need for services at nearly all Utah charities, there has never been a better time for holiday giving. Here are a number of organizations and events in need of your time, donations and care this season.

Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire: Snowball 2009 Each year, the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire, Utah’s oldest gay and lesbian nonprofit group, holds a number of drag shows and benefits throughout the year to raise money for scholarships, cancer research and, most notably, the fight against HIV/ AIDS. Each December, the group puts on Snowball, a wild and fabulous party/drag show, to benefit its Christmas Fund for Utahns living with HIV/AIDS held by the group’s Prince and Princess Royale. The theme of this year’s ball will be Noir Black and White Ball, and co-chairs Prince Royale XXXIV Thomas Shaylee and Princess Royale XXXIV Kamylle Taylor Bradshaw (aka Robert “Bobby” Fairbanks) have said their 34th ball will be one of the most

“fun and upbeat” yet, as well as one of the most visually stunning. “With that space [Rose Wagner Center] it’s very easy to do almost minimal decoration or set production while still having a very stark impact on the attendees,” said Fairbanks, noting the usefulness of the theatre’s all-black surfaces. While this year’s ball will have drag performances by local and out-of-town

talent repeat that attendees have come to know and love, Fairbanks said he and Bradshaw hope to add a new twist to this year’s event by inviting local dancers and “possibly a couple singing acts” to “break up the evening, so it’s not drag number after drag number.” “We want to see the event be more mass appeal,” he said. Each year, the Prince and Princess Royale of the current reign begin planning and fundraising for the ball in the first weekend of June and officially close the books 48 hours after the ball’s last sequins and feathers are swept away. The money raised through the ball’s tickets and raffles, as well as several charity fundraisers held throughout the year, all go to the RCGSE’s People With AIDS Christmas Fund. When the last dollars are in, the Prince and Princess begin distributing checks of $100 to individuals living with HIV or AIDS whose names they have received from the Utah AIDS Foundation, the People with AIDS Coalition of Utah and the University of Utah’s AIDS service, Clinic 1A. The distribution, said Fairbanks, lasts from the ball’s end to Christmas Eve. And sometimes, when they have a surplus, they can go back through the list and give each person $50 or even $100 more. “A lot of people have come to look forward to [this money] but not depend on it,” he said, noting that the recipients use their checks to purchase everything from medication to holiday gifts for loved ones. “Handing it across the threshold of each house really makes your holiday season as well as theirs. In past years we’ve had a few people that have been past recipients that have turned us down,” he continued. “They say they’re doing well now and they’ll come and be donors for the evening. The more years I’m involved the more people surprise me, which is a good thing when it comes to charity work.” “In the state of the world now, people tend to focus more on things that seem to be more devastating on a daily basis, but believe me, for the people still living with this [disease] and their loved ones, [HIV/AIDS] is just as devastating,” he said, noting that he thinks widespread focus on AIDS has been lost in the past decade. Fundraising for people with AIDS, he added, continues through Memorial Day Weekend of the following year, either to be handed on to the next reign’s Prince and Princess, or to be donated to any AIDS-related charity in Utah or elsewhere. Tickets for Snowball go on sale Nov. 14 and cost $20 each, or $200 per table of 10. They can be purchased through arttix.org. Purchasing soon is encouraged as the theatre can hold only 300 occupants.

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Seasons Givings at the Utah AIDS Foundation UAF’s Seasons Givings program gives Utahns a number of ways to help out people in the state who are living with HIV/AIDS. Individuals may help by donating money to the foundation, adopting an individual or family living with HIV/AIDS and shopping for items (mostly basic necessities such as clothing and bedding) on their wish lists, and assembling stockings filled with personal care items (like toothpaste, deodorant and diapers) and food baskets with supplies for holiday meals. Stan Penfold, executive director of the foundation and newly elected Salt Lake City councilman, said that UAF is particularly in need of donations because their client list has grown. “We are up 10 percent in people accessing services from last year, and 69 of those are newly diagnosed and they are in the advanced stage of the disease. What that means is they’re really sick when they get treated and going right on meds, so they’re not able to work. We’re also getting a lot of folks reentering [our] service who did really well on the meds 10 years ago, but whose meds have stop working or who have lost insurance.” Since Utah’s AIDS Drug Assistance Program dropped nearly 90 people from its rolls in September and is currently closed to new applicants, the people who would have received help paying for the antiretroviral medication that keeps the virus in check are also in need of such basic things as food, clothing and toiletries. “My concern is we’re going to have more people to serve this year, and with the recession, a drop in donors,” said Penfold, noting that the Utah Food Bank, which supplies the foundation not only with regular food packages, has just cut the number of turkeys donated to UAF from 125 last year to 39. “The need is real this winter,” he added. “[Donors] are not going to find anything on people’s wish lists or our Red Ribbon tree that’s a luxury item.” To inquire about giving or to make a donation, contact Duane Abplanalp at 801-4872323. Items for holiday food baskets, such as fresh fruit and vegetables, mashed potatoes, gravy, nonperishable rolls, stuffing mix, brownie mix and condiments, as well as festive plates and table candles may be dropped off at UAF’s office, 1408 S. 1100 E., by Nov. 24 for Thanksgiving and Dec. 22 for Christmas and Chanukah. The foundation asks that meat items not be included in food baskets. Items for wish lists should be delivered unwrapped to the foundation by Dec. 18.

Poinsettias for PWAs

The People with AIDS Coalition of Utah is once again selling beautiful red poinsettias to raise money for its service programs. The plants are grown locally and come in attractive six inch pots and can be purchased for $10 or $75 for eight. Plants must be purchased by Nov. 20 either at pwacu.org or by calling 801-4842205 and will be delivered to locations in Salt Lake County and the following counties: Davis, Weber (Nov. 24 and Dec. 4), Summit (Nov. 27 and Dec. 8), Tooele and Utah (Dec. 1 and 11). The organization will also observe World AIDS Day at the outside amphitheatre of the Salt Lake City Public Library, 210 E. 400 S., on Dec. 1. “I already have a minister to give the prayer,” said Toni Johnson, the group’s executive director, noting that the event will also include an open microphone, red ribbons, quilt panels made for the Project Names AIDS quilt, and tables for such groups as the Utah Health Department and the Indian Walk-in Center. The organization’s thrift store, Our Store: Your Thrift Alternative, ss also accepting donations of coats, winter clothing and working electronics as well as Christmas trees and other holiday decorations. One hundred percent of sales at the store go to PWACU’s programs, and the store also gives gift certificates to its clients and to case managers throughout the valley so clients can come and get needed items. As an incentive to shop, Our Store will also offer a 50 percent off sale on all items over $2 on the Friday, Saturday and Sunday following Thanksgiving. “So people should come and shop here for the holidays,” Johnson said. However, Johnson stressed that PWACU’s most urgent need is convincing the state legislature to contribute money to the ADAP program in 2010. “Because the program is closed, they cut people and now they’re denying new people based on the income levels,” she said. “So we need people to keep on this issue, be informed and when the time comes, to call their senators and representatives, because they’re not going to give the program money unless the community demands it.” Poinesttias may be ordered online at pwacu. org or drop by Our Store, 358 S. 300 East.

Fourth Street Clinic Located at 404 S. 400 W., the Fourth Street Clinic is the pre-eminent provider of comprehensive health care — that is, primary care, behavioral health, specialty care and pharmacy services — to Salt Lake City’s homeless population, most of whom lack insurance and do not qualify for Medicaid because they are not disabled and do not have dependents. “It costs us $150 per office visit [per person] and that’s for total coordinated care,� said Jenn Hyvonen, Development and Communications director for the clinic. “Not only is that the 30-minute appointment, but the care coordination, transportation, translation services, specialty care and respite care.� The total per patient per year, she noted, is $500. The clinic, she added, is staffed by 200 doctors and specialists who provide their services on a pro bono basis. Even so, increased need for the clinic’s services means that it needs to raise more money to cover medical supplies and lab costs. In order to save money, Hyvonen said the clinic has gone to electronic health records and cut each client’s visit from 40 minutes to half an hour. “We’ve gone from seeing 85 patients a day to about 100 with the same staff,� she said. In total, she estimates that Fourth Street serves 6,000 people, including 700 patients age 22 and younger. To accommodate the surge in need, the clinic is trying to raise $50,000 by year’s end. And to meet that goal, they are reaching out to the community for help. Even a little bit of money, said Hyvonen, goes a long way. For example, $10 will fill many prescriptions. Five thousand dollars, she added, will supply a specialty clinic — such as the on site for optometry and podiatry — for a year. The clinic will also hold a candlelight vigil on Dec. 21 in honor of homeless Utahns. “We get together and remember all the homeless people who lost their lives due to homelessness,� she said, noting that about 50 homeless people in Utah die each year from exposure or “from the same type of diseases that are affecting the housed population� — chronic but treatable illnesses like diabetes, cancer and respiratory ailments. “It goes to show what access to lack of health insurance can do,� she said. “It’s amazing the amount of pain people are living with out there.� To make a donation to the clinic, visit fourthstreetclinic. org.

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Nov e mber 12, 20 09  |  issue 1 41  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  27

Arts & Entertainment

Gay Agenda The Holiday Season ... Fizzlesticks! by Tony Hobday

It’s been a little hectic around the QSaltLake offices of late, what with Michael Aaron recently returning from a three-week jaunt to Europe where he modeled for the camera as a living interpretation of every statue he stumbled upon — what a goober! He then flitted off a few days later to cruise the high seas with his chortling cohorts from the Salt Lake Men’s Choir. Sufficed to say, the last month had left me to sole decision-making — trust me, making the right decision isn’t my strong suit, hence the fact we’re now working out of a pup tent on 21st South and David Pruden of Evergreen International is our managing editor.

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thursday — This holiday season ... pshaw!, Desert Star Theatres presents Nutcracker: Men in Tights. A small Utah town is in financial turmoil and to solve their problems, the women of the town emasculate the men by cracking their nuts. Nah! Actually, the town plans to produce their own version of the beloved ballet. And of course, things don’t go quite right ... ’cause it’s Utah! Hours vary, through Jan. 2, Desert Star Theatres, 4861 S. State St. Tickets $8.95–39.95, 801-266-2600.

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saturday — Kicking off the holiday season ... kiss my grits!, QSaltLake’s first bus trip to Wendover is today ... yay! We’ve also changed the name from The Fabulous Fun Bus to The Big Gay Fun Bus because the hostess Ruby Ridge and her Mattress of Mayhem are bigger, gayer and funner ... is funner a word? Anyhoo, join us for Big Gay Bingo with Big Gay Prizes. 11am–8pm, pick-up at Club Try-Angles, 251 W. 900 South. Tickets $21, $5 cash back and includes free buffet, 800-838-3006 or biggayfunbus.com. QQ The Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire presents their 28th annual Golden Spike Universe Pageant. Past titleists include Ashlee Vaughn, Sean LiQue, Lola Taylor (DJ Bell), Sinsation, Biff and QSaltLake’s very own Michael Aaron ... we all now his year was rigged! If you’d like to run for Mr. or Miss Golden Spike Universe, visit rcgse.org. 9pm, Club Edge, 615 N. 400 West. Tickets $5 at the door, 801-410-4367.

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sunday — Club Karamba’s Pachanga Night hosts the 2009 Miss Hispanidad Drag Pageant ... ooooo, chiquita calientes! I think I just said “hot bananas.” Be a part of the magic when Miss Hispanidad 2009 is crowned for his well-hidden “hot banana.” There’s also a $2 Coronas and tequila shots

28  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  issue 1 41  |  Nov e mber 12, 20 09

special. Hopefully there won’t be any shots outside the club ... just saying! 9pm, Pachanga Night at Club Karamba, 1051 E. 2100 South. No cover until 10:30pm, 801-637-9197.

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Empey, Juliana Hane, I-Fen Lin and Shannon Vance. 7:30pm, through Saturday, Marriott Center for Dance, 330 S. 1500 East, UofU. Tickets $7–10, 801-581-7100 or kingtix.com.

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tuesday — Take a magical journey down the yellow brick road with Dorothy, her little dog Toto and their unforgettable friends (like the evil flying monkeys and the Wicked Witch of the West ... aaahhh!!) as they come alive on the big screen once again in The Wizard of Oz — a 70th anniversary encore event. It’ll be fun, my pretty! (Insert evil laugh here.) 6:30pm, select theaters across the valley. Tickets $10 at theater box offices or online at fathomevents.com (includes list of participating theaters).

friday — Back by popular demand, Repertory Dance Theatre presents an evening of fresh and innovative dance with Joyride II. Bringing back favorites from last year and combining them with new pieces this year, and featuring choreography and original works from RDT’s own dancers, Joyride is a delightful way to usher in the holiday season ... bah humbug! 7pm, through Saturday, Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $18, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org.

QQ Step into another world where bodies undulate, contort and fuse to form surreal shapes with one of the most amazing dance troupes on earth ... that’s a big understatement: I saw Pilobolus last year, and I still get chills thinking about it — they are stunning, unworldly and jaw-dropping. Anyhoo, performances include a company classic, Gnomen, a quartet for men. Gnomen’s lyrical exploration of relationships emerges from an unusually inventive physical vocabulary. 7:30pm, Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Cir., UofU. Tickets $29.50–45.50, 801-5817100 or kingtix.com.

QQ This event speaks for itself, so I’ll just tell you what it is and you can take it from here. Billy Joel & Elton John are in Salt Lake City tonight on their Face to Face Tour. I just hope Sir Elton’s completely rid of that nasty E. Coli ... any relation to P. Diddy? 7:30pm, Energy Solutions Arena, 301 W. South Temple. Tickets $51.50–177, 801-4678499 or smithstix.com.

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thursday — Contemporary visions, death-defying aerial antics and just plain insanity. The third-year graduate students of the University of Utah’s Department of Modern Dance present their thesis concert, The Odds — five dance pieces laying open the “oddities” of five radically different choreographers: Nancy Carter, Erin

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saturday — sWerve jumps into the holiday season ... pisser! with Laughter Yoga with Karen Bayard, a unique practice that combines group exercises with yoga breathing techniques. No previous yoga experience is required. Although we plan to get a good workout, the emphasis is on having fun. Wear comfy clothes (like chain mail) and take a yoga mat or something soft to lay on. Karen will serve samples of her Inspired Ice Cream after the session. 6pm, Sugar Space, 615 E. Wilmington Ave. Cost $15, swerveutah.com.

QQ I’ve been waiting blue-balled for months for this night to arrive. Who’da thunk Kathy Griffin could make my balls turn blue? Anyhoo, the Emmy-winning, multi-faceted performer with fire wit, and hair to match, is sure to get at least a few little chuckles from our “gay army” because, you know, she is our comic “warrior princess.” 8pm, Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple. Tickets $35–50, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org.

Review

24

particularly musicals (Yes, I’m gay!), it is often difficult to write less than stellar reviews. I worry sometimes I may be forgetful of the intense pressures in today’s arts community. So, I want to first state that I have great respect for Dark Horse Company Theatre. Opening its doors (earlier this year) during our relentless of economic turmoil is an obvious risk. But I say, “hell yeah, you go girls!” That being said with much enthusiasm, the company’s second production, William Finn’s A New Brain, though good, lacks the finesse of more adhesive, tenured theatre companies. But what I respect most, so far, about Dark Horse is it isn’t shy about taking on difficult productions like Finn’s semi-autobiographical offering, in which he takes a harrowing personal experience and twists it into a dream-like musical. Gordon Schwinn (Jon McBride), a songwriter with a sarcastic tongue, is composing a song for Mr. Bungee (David Schmidt), a frog-suited children’s entertainer; and then while at a meeting with his agent, Rhoda (Alicia Washington), he suddenly suffers major complications of a brain disorder (arteriovenous malformation) and the necessary surgery that slips him into a coma. The essence of the show is a caricature of Schwinn’s “greatest” unwritten songs brought to life through dream sequences and hallucinations caused by the disorder, and that eventually instills in Gordon a new-found respect for not only the people directly in his life including his boyfriend Roger (Rhett Richins) and his mother Mimi (Karin Gittins), but also mere strangers like a homeless woman (Julie Carrillo) he recently encountered. Obviously, dreams and hallucinations can be messy and senseless; here, it is apparent on stage, often leaving audience members scratching their heads. But what’s even more apparent in Dark Horse’s production is the lack of chemistry between the actors. It’s unclear of the role of Mimi except when specifically spoken about — there’s no maternal fire or even a hint of compassion for her son until her solo performance of “The Music Still Plays On.” And, unfortunately, Gittins doesn’t do the song, or the moment, justice; so the compassion is still moot. Plus, Gordon and Rhett, as a homosexual couple, is tense and awkward at times, especially with their un-

tuesday — Ring in the holiday season ... oh lord! with David Archuleta, that adorable, shy (must be a Capricornthing) teenager from season seven of American Idol. Please, I know you know whom I’m talking about, even if you won’t admit it. Anyhoo, he’s just released a Christmas album .... aaahhh! called Christmas from the Heart, and he’ll be jingling your bells all night ... don’t lie! 7pm, through Wednesday, Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple. Tickets $28–38, 801355-ARTS or arttix.org.

UPCOMING Events DEC. 11-12 DEC. 12 DEC. 31

SLMC Holiday Concert, First Baptist Church RCGSE Snow Ball 2009, Rose Wagner Ctr. Rufus Wainwright, Park City

Save the Date

January 6–10 Utah Gay & Lesbian Ski Week, gayskiing.org

November 14 Q’s Big Gay Fun January 21–31 Bus to Wendover ­ Sundance Film qsaltlake.com Festival, Park City ­ November 20 sundance.org HRC’s Transgender Day February 12–14 of Remebrance ­ QUAC Ski-N-Swim ­ utah.hrc.org quacquac.org December 11–12 Salt Lake Men’s Choir Holiday Concert ­ saltlakemenschoir. org December 12 RCGSE’s Snow Ball 2009 ­ rcgse.org December 31 New Year’s Eve w/ Rufus Wainwright ­ ecclescenter.org

June 4–6 Utah Pride ­ utahpridecenter. org September 28 Equality Utah Allies Dinner ­ equalityutah.org

Major events will be considered for Save the Date if you email arts@­ qsaltlake.com

Freshman Theatre Company’s Latest Lacks Finesse by Tony Hobday

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s a person who adores theatre,

comfortable body language. On the o t h e r h a n d , McBride’s vocals are strong and tight — he has much depth to his numbers, as does Carrillo, the homeless woman. Also, B.D. Suisse is comical and endearing as Roger, a nurse who has a crush on Gordon. Choreographer William Richardson, who also directed the show, has created a few fun, well-executed dance routines in this production. If only there were a few more! I have high hopes for Dark Horse Company Theatre. Their opening production, The Best Little Whorehouse in

PHOTO: DUSTIN BOLT

Texas, in July, was a ‘sold out’ success, and their A New Brain offering, though unpolished, is a hopeful indication of an arts company that’s willing to take risks and the growing talent to back it up. Q A New Brain runs this weekend at the Old Post Theatre, 245 S. Fort Douglas Blvd., UofU. Tickets $15, 801-581-7100 or kingtix.com.

UTAH CONTEMPORARY THEATRE Presents a World Premier Production ROUNDUP Nov 6-21, 2009 At the Rose Wagner Studio Theatre 138 W 300 South, SLC Tickets available by calling ArtTix at 801.355.ARTS

!

PHOTO: WIG PR

Arts & Entertainment Athens Boys Choir: Spoken Word You Didn’t Expect to Like by JoSelle Vanderhooft

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Boys Choir isn’t a group of cherubic, sweet-voiced boys like you might think. It’s actually the performance name of Harvey Katz, aka Katz (“I forget I have a first name most days!” he jokes), a transgender man who has been taking his unique blend of spoken word poetry and hip hop/80s-inspired music around the country for several years. Provocative, hilarious and blunt about a number of hot-button issues, Katz will perform at Mestizo Café, 631 W. North Temple, Ste. 700, on Nov. 21 at 9 p.m. as part of the Utah Pride Center’s Transgender Awareness Month. I caught up with Katz on a break from his busy November tour schedule to talk about his music, politics and just how he picked such an interesting moniker. thens

JoSelle Vanderhooft: When I first heard you were coming out, I thought: “Athens Boys Choir. That’s got to be the most unique name I’ve ever heard for an artist.” Katz: Believe me [laughs] I’d love to change the name at this point, but it’s too late. JV: How did it come about initially, then? K: It used to be not just me in the choir. It used to be myself and a guy named Rocket. He’s Catholic, I’m Jewish. We liked the sort of innuendo of the boys choir. It was fun, it was memorable, you know? JV: So Rocket’s gone to pursue other projects? K: Yeah, he didn’t want to be on the road so much, but we’re still good buddies. JV: That’s good to hear. I’d love to hear how you got started performing. K: Well, I sort of did it in this really bizarre way. I didn’t even really write spoken word poetry until about six months before I really started [performing full time]. I had this girlfriend, we had a real nasty break up, and she told me she didn’t like my poetry. So I told her, “Well we’ll see.” [laughs] and decided to make this CD with Rocket and send it out to a bunch of record labels, just sort of thinking, “Oh, whatever. It’s $1.06 to send this. Wouldn’t it be hilarious and awesome if somebody actually called us?” And two days later I got a call from Amy Ray [of the Indigo Girls]. K: I was so hung over I thought it was my brother calling. I answered real mean. And then, that was it. On Monday we were in Atlanta for a meeting with Daemon Records [Ray’s label] and we were signed. It was so bizarre and fast and amazing.

JV: I’m also a poet, though I don’t work in spoken word. And I hear all the time: “Oh, poetry is a hard sell.” I’d love to hear some of your thoughts on that, because clearly you’re making it work for you. K: Yeah, poetry’s a hard sell. I’ll give that to you. K: It’s like music. It’s such a vast spectrum of styles. Poetry is rap. Poetry is sonnets. Poetry is Shakespeare. You have all these things, and I think people have it in their minds already what poetry is. It’s like saying, “All music is rock. I don’t like rock.” I got so in my bio I put ‘it’s the spoken word you didn’t expect to like,’ you know what I’m saying? I put myself down to bring myself up. I feel like the ’90s was a real huge time for spoken word. And now people are like, “OK. Please get on to a new project.” I have to say, on that note, I have been extremely lucky and grateful for the people who have really opened their minds to it and listened to what I have to say. JV: What’s the typical Katz/Athens Boys Choir show is like. K: I like to pay attention to the crowd, and I really like to say, “OK, let’s have a fun one. Can you stay with me through a serious one? OK, let’s have a serious one.” But I think a typical Athens Boys Choir set is a bit of a roller coaster. I really try to give the audience what they want because they’re giving me what I want. JV: Since this is Transgender Awareness Month at the Utah Pride Center, give me your thoughts on the status of transgender people in the broader lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender movement. K: In the large spectrum of things, I feel like the world is becoming a lot more aware of trans people. I live in Athens, Georgia. There are about 120,000 people here, maybe eight or 10 transgender people now. When I came out I knew no other trans people. I knew of Rocket, and once I met him I was like, OK there’s two of us. I like to think of everything in an Athens, Georgia sense, because I feel like it’s this contained space where I can get a view on things. [Around the time I came out] I went to a doctor listed in the gay phone book here, and he was like, “I’m gay, and I don’t know what you mean when you say you’re transgender.” It was a really horrible experience. I went to the bank the other day. I’ve been to this particular bank maybe two or three times, I usually use a different bank. And they were like, “Hey Katz.” Everybody knows me in town because I’m

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that transgender guy. And now I feel like you have a space where the whole country is really so much more aware that transgender people exist. You don’t have to explain yourself to everybody every time there’s an interaction. I feel like a lot of the biases and expectations of trans people are slowly melting away. We’re just becoming part of a society. … I feel like the biggest change that everybody can do in their brains, and that we’re working on, is taking transgender people and taking them way from the ‘Other’ and bringing them back to human experience. JV: What I love about your work is that you’re very frank about everything. Not only about politics and about what it’s like being transgender, but even about, well, plumbing for a lack of a better world. I’m thinking of “Fagette” where you mention that you have a vagina, not a penis and “Tranny Got Pack” [a parody of rapper Sir Mix-a-Lot’s classic “Baby Got Back.”] That’s often a very personal issue for trans people, for obvious reasons and rightly so. I’d love to hear about why that’s something you do. K: I do a PSA before “Tranny Got Pack” where I talk about the word “tranny” and how unless you’re self-identifying you shouldn’t use it because it’s like “fag,” which has been used really derogatorily. It’s a first person narrative. And the “Fagette” piece — and again first person narrative — I don’t really care that I don’t have the penis. It’s not something I think about it anymore,

it’s not something that even bothers me anymore. It’s not something that I think will ever bother me — not to say that it has never in my life, or that my opinion is the only opinion on the trans body, by any means. I do these trans 101 workshops all the time, and the first thing I say is, “You can ask me about anything except my body.” Because I feel like, nobody in this room will ever know what’s in my pants. And I won’t know what’s in anybody’s pants here, and it’s never going to affect our relationship.” It’s weird now that I think of how I’ve written all these things about the body, and in talking I’m like, “Who cares about my body?! It’s MIIINE!” JV: What other issues are important to you?

K: The main issue I have with everything [is] I feel like I need to [make] it simple. Health care, queer rights, it all comes down to human rights, what we deserve in this world. We deserve goodness, and we deserve to be OK, because we work hard, and we love the people around us. Politics don’t have to be hard. You just care about the human condition. I just feel like, do whatever you want to do, just be good to the people around you. That’s my political stance. JV: Any final thoughts?

K: In the general sense, don’t forget that the world is good, that people are good, and there’s a space for everybody. It’s like a toast! [laughs] Visit Katz online at athensboyschoir.com.

CD Reviews Sacha Sacket, Mika By Tony Hobday

Sacha Sacket: Hermitage In 2007, Sacha Sacket performed an intimate concert at The Woodshed in Salt Lake City, promoting his album Lovers & Leaders. At the time, I knew zilch about his music, but I was intrigued by what I had heard firsthand about the openly gay Iranian singer-songwriter. The night of the concert I joked that, from a distance, Sacket looked similar to Paul Reubens (Pee-wee Herman). To be honest, he’s an exotically handsome man, and a mean pianist. That being said, I was enthusiastic about Sacket’s fourth album release Hermitage. I had heard through the grapevine that the album reflected “a different kind of Sacha.” According to Sacket, he was exhausted from a recent tour and was feeling the weight of the world burdening his shoulders, so he ‘ran away’ to a secluded California mountain cabin for rejuvenation. While there, he wrote and recorded the approriately entitled Hermitage. I was, however, slightly disappointed to learn that the album isn’t a full-length offering, instead a five-track EP. Thankfully, the disappointment immediately returned to enthusiasm after I popped the CD in and listened to the first track, “Running Away.” The single echoes Sacket’s overwhelming experiences leading up to and during his seclusion from the outside world; the song opens “on the road, it grew old, pulling rabbits from my soul,” heavily shadowed by Sacket’s signature classical piano. The track builds speed to a crescendo of dueling instruments including a cello, drums and electronics. By end, “Running Away” will have sucked all the anxiety and tension from your body ... freeing whatever you’re holding inside. But then suddenly you’re pulled back into agression with the second track “Used.” Musically it’s like a battering ram and Sacket’s voice, pained and brooding, sounds awkward — madman Vincent Price, perhaps. The single about self-betrayal would be more clutching and reflective if it didn’t sound like a strange Broadway piece from The Phantom of the Opera. The next two tracks “You Could” and “Hold On And Hope” are more subdued musically, introducing delicate arrangements with accordian and rich lap steel. Here, I was reminded of the softer side of Sacket from that night at The Woodshed — the intrinsic hopeful, the unwielding optimist. The final track on the 18-minute EP, “The River,” is an analogy, one I think

I’ve heard before somewhere, for the struggles found in relationships. The urgency in Sacket’s vocals instills a stronger connection than the familiar lyrics, giving just a so-so end to Sacket’s “hermitage.” Hermitage hits the streets Nov. 17.

Mika: The Boy Who Knew Too Much The 26-year-old Beirut-born, unlabeled, but “call me bisexual if you need a term for me” singer-songwriter, Mika, released his sophomore album The Boy Who Knew Too Much in late September. This is the follow-up to his awardwinning debut Life in Cartoon Motion, which hailed the incredibly infectious “Grace Kelly” and the Grammy-nominated “Love Today.” As with the first album, TBWKTM explodes with catchy, orchestral pop dance music; and Mika’s vocal range — from warm, melted caramel to uncanny falsetto junctions (and literally everything in-between) — establishes the artist as a definite one-of-a-kind. The depth of TBWKTM is similar to that of Life in Cartoon Motion — filled with coming-ofage tales, but with a bit more maturity to some of them, both musically and lyrically. The first track, “We Are Golden,” is most representative of the above point. It’s driven like a High School Musical number — flashes of teenagers dancing on cafeteria room tables enter the mind. Yet the massive background choir and orchestral instruments extenuate the grandeur of the song, and the age-defiant declarations in the chorus could easily make it a good activism chant — one urging those in authority to not underestimate or belittle or discourage strong-willed adolescence. The coming-of-age theme is written throughout the album: From the “modelesque” single “Blame It On The Girls,” the Disney-inspired “Toy Boy” and the 1960’s Be-bop sound of “Good Gone Girl” (in which Mika’s incredible range ignites a doll’s voice) to the smoldering jazz number, “Pick Up Off The Floor” and the thundering, theatrical ballad “I See You.” Though Mika believes sexuality should not be broken down into labels, he’s also not lyrically stalled by it either. In “Toy Boy,” he says: Hold me in your arms, I’m just a boy like you. But your mama thought there was something wrong, didn’t want you sleeping with a boy too long. It’s a serious thing in a grown up world, maybe you’d be better with a Barbie girl. Mika, though he may not appeal to many adults, is a vibrant, talented and playful artist with just the right amount of social obligation to become a highly acclaimed, respected musical talent.

Nov e mber 12, 20 09  |  issue 1 41  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  3 1

APPLIANCES O ART PRINTS AND FRAMES O ARTWORK O BOOKS O CLOTHING O ELECTRONICS O ESTATE ITEMS O FURNITURE O GLASSWARE O HOUSE DECO ITEMS O HOUSE WARES O JEWELRY O KITCHENWARE O KNICK-KNACKS O LINENS O MUSIC O MUSICAL INSTRUMENT O SHOES O SPORTING GOODS O TOOLS O TV AND MOVIE MEMORABILIA O VIDEOS

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Food & Drink

Restaurant Review The New Yorker by Chef Drew Ellsworth

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I was asked to a private tasting of a new “café” menu for the New Yorker, downtown. I strolled down those steps which, years ago, were so chic — so full of anticipation and bigcity class. Walking in I was struck, again, by the beautiful floors, polished stone and vaulted stained glass — it was so fun to return there. I dined with Mary Anne Ferrier, the marketing director and Will Pliler, one of Utah’s most highly awarded chefs. I was honored. The table was beautifully appointed and I was offered wine but refused since I was on my lunch hour but the “Café” menu — which, meant to be paired with wines, is what I was there to try. On the table was a small, stainless relish tray filled with Mediterranean olives — they were inviting and I loved the fact that there was a small, square ramekin next to the olives as a place to dispose of your pits. (Where do you put olive pits anyway — on the bread plate, on the tablecloth, on the edge of some other plate?) There was also fresh French bread and a large slice of crinkled butter — nice. The New Yorker is promoting its “café” menu in an effort to lure back Salt Lakers who want something new from the New Yorker. However, the powers at Gastronomy, Inc., are reluctant to call this concept what it is, a wine bar. I believe they probably should rethink this approach. After all, the word ‘bar,’ really, is no longer a dirty word in Utah. The “wine bar,” as such, has been around in California for a long ecently

time. When they started springing up all over San Diego, where I lived for 20 years, wine bars were fun, new, refreshing and easy on the stomach and on the wallet. The New Yorker just needs to take the leap and really go for this idea; the menu is good, the food is good and they just need to introduce this new menu as a Food and Wine Pairing daily event. Besides, Wild Grape, Meditrina, and other new places are openly calling themselves wine bars — come on, New Yorker — come out of the closet! On the menu I really saw no reference to the wine. Maybe the wine is suggested by the servers — but I think the wines they’d like to you to try should be recommended and/or changed frequently, and they should be referenced, somehow, between the menu and the wine list. In California the menus don’t change much but the wines change all the time. Here are a few of the “small plates” I tasted: We started with the Smoked Trout Dip. This is kind of like a mousse made with flaked, smoked, pink trout with cream cheese — it was surrounded with house-made potato chips, which when I got them they were cold and way too salty — also, I believe they were seasoned with a very commercial seasoned salt — Lawry’s maybe? (I would have loved an Alsatian or Oregon Pinot Gris with this dish — minus the salt!) Next, I was served a handsome plate of seared tuna, nicely cooked I might add, and the dish had an Asian quality to it. The tuna curls were atop a salad of thinly sliced veggies, marinated with

pickled ginger and lightly laced with Bambara.) But Chef Will’s had a spicy, what I’ll call a sweet-and-sour plum sausage-like flavor and they were juicy! sauce. I liked the dish and the look of it, The tiny burgers were sandwiched bebut thought the seared tuna idea is old tween grilled flatbread rounds that had and over-used. If I were a server offering been cut with a cookie cutter to fit the this dish, I’d recommend it with a glass small patties. Of all the dishes I had, this of German Riesling or Alsawas the nicest, tastiest, and tian Gewurztraminer. the bread made it the most I was also given a very original. A zesty full-bodThe New nice Ahi Tuna and Avocaied red Zinfandel would be Yorker Café do Tartar — it was by far great with the sliders. 60 W Market St the most beautifully plated There are several prob801-363-0166 dish and was surrounded gastronomyinc.com lems, at least in my mind, with chef-cut cucumbers. regarding the cuisine I exDREW’S RATING: It was topped with tiny perienced in the legendary 87/100 sprouts and tasted a bit spot. (1) A lot of the dishes bland for me — I suggested were too Asian to go well to the chef that he add a litwith wine — assuming the tle spice like some Chinese chili sauce wine bar concept prevails. Asian food is or oil — he agreed. hard to pair and although German-style The Beef Skewers were very nice wines work, they can’t be served with and once again, quite Asian in style. everything. I think the New Yorker The beef had to be tenderloin because should come up with more great Contiit melted in your mouth — very nicely nental twists on classic recipes — let’s plated, too, but drizzled with Teriyaki have more of Burgundy, Lombardy and sesame. I wish the skewers had a and Andalucia and less of the Pacific wine reduction sauce on them instead Rim. (2) If you’re going to serve a lot of of soy — a 2007 Cotes-du-Rhone would spreads, tartars, dips, etc., you need to have been killer with the beef. provide some house-made cracker-like A plate of veal meatballs was served products. I recommended that the chef next. What is it with the meatballs al- make cool little Melba toasts and Italready? Trio, the New Yorker and Vinto ian crostini, or some more of that great are all touting their meatballs! Do all flatbread. (3) The New Yorker should restaurants in Salt Lake have to copy become “New” again and not stick to one another? Actually, I liked the veal over-used recipes and menu items that meatballs — they were well put togeth- everyone else is doing — they need to er and had a surprise inside — they lead the pack — not follow it! (4) Conwere flowing with melted, pepper jack sistency in the quality of each dish as cheese. The dish was nice but certainly it comes out is way out of whack. Some not original. A fruity, but dry Italian of the dishes I was served were worthy red would have been great with the of magazine photos while others were, meatballs — Avignonesi Rosso comes well, not so worthy! to mind. I give the New Yorker “café” menu The plate I liked the best was the 87 points. lamb sliders. (I also liked the ones at Chef Drew H Ellsworth, M.A., C.E.C.

32  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  issue 1 41  |  Nov e mber 12, 20 09

Q Zeak doku

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54 W Market St, SLC 801-322-4668 10702 S River Front Pkwy, South Jordan 801-302-2262 Meditrina Small Plates & Wine Bar Encouraging gastronimic exploring in tapas tradition 1394 S West Temple Salt Lake City 801-485-2055 Mestizo Coffeehouse Coffee, art, jam sessions, free gallery West Side 631 W North Temple Suite 700, SLC 801-596-0500

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3 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 1 41 | Nov e mber 12, 20 09

QFitness Are You Getting the Most Out of Your Workouts? by Steven Walker

Y

ou walk into that glamorous

multimillion dollar gym with a high tech cardio center that takes up to a third of the building, and machines as far as the eye can see. It’s so shiny and full of chrome it’s almost like walking into a new car dealership. You think, surely joining this gym should be the answer to your health and fitness goals. Why then do gyms retain only 30 to 35 percent of their membership? Health clubs as we know them today started appearing in the late ’60s and ’70s. In the late ’60s Arthur Jones designed the multistation Nautilus machine workout system, which was the first user-friendly strength-training machine. Innovations Jones came up with decades ago are still incorporated into strength-training machines in all brands today. There is no doubt that Jones’ invention brought resistance training to the masses, but his claim that he created the “thinking man’s barbell” is more mar-

keting than truth. In fact, most strength machines are designed for bodybuilding and require relatively little expertise for either the user or the trainer. Therein lies both their appeal and their flaw. If you are a body builder — that is, if you have strength trained for years and dieted so rigorously that your body-fat percentage is in the single digits — then it potentially makes sense to train individual muscles in isolation. The other case in which machine-based training makes sense is in rehab, when the body must be rebuilt brick by brick. But most of us are neither that injured nor on the verge of entering the Mr. Olympia competition, so why do we train as if either is the case? The answer is a combination of the gyms’ desire to maximize profits, and our own desire to find workouts that don’t involve work. Club owners bought into what the equipment industry told them — if you stocked enough machines, you could do without as much one-on-one attention

Nov e mber 12, 20 09  |  issue 1 41  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  35

from trainers. “I don’t think fitness happens best in isolation,” says Steve Myrland, manager of Myrland Sports Training and a former strength coach for the University of Wisconsin and the San Jose Sharks. Various studies back this up, showing that people who exercise in groups maintain greater motivation to train than those who work out alone. “This is hard stuff, and it’s a lot easier to share hard stuff than do it yourself. At the clubs, you are going to be turned loose on the machines, and a machine is like an isolation booth,” he added. The functional training, or FT, approach to fitness stresses the training of movements over muscles. Teaching our bodies to move in real-life situations, decelerate and accelerate, ascend and descend. What good is strength without the ability to be mobile? Working out is great for improving our appearance, but what about improving how our bodies function in our lives? The main purpose of functional training is to bridge the gap between absolute strength and functional strength. FT uses simple tools to gain complex results, such as stability balls, medicine balls, kettle balls, wobble boards, dumbbells, bosu balls and resistance bands. FT stresses strengthening the core. This is your base of support which consists of your oblique, abdominal and your erector spine muscles. All movements originate from this area. And

just like with a house, if the foundation is weak the house will not remain standing. Engaging your core in all your movements not only strengthens your core but causes your workout to be more efficient. You burn more calories as your body is firing more muscle to maintain its balance. When you use the tools of FT you engage your core/base during your workouts. Sitting, for example, is an unnatural body position for strenuous work. Once you sit on a stable base, as on a machine, you lose your body’s natural anchor: the muscles of the back, butt, abdominal core and legs. FT immediately puts an end to a host of outdated stationary machines. You will find that staying on your feet and doing core training requires you to think creatively, keeps your heart rate up and strengthens your

—Continued on page 36

Q Nightlife W E E K LY B A R E V E N T S

SU N DAYS

MO N DAYS

T U E SDAYS

W E D N E SDAYS

T H U R SDAYS

F R IDAYS

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Q Fitness Continued from page 35

core. It also improves your balance, coordination, your ability to move your body in different planes of motion, accelerate and decelerate, and keeps your workout moving along efficiently. You are either exercising or walking it off. In FT we train movements not muscles. The five basic movements to develop in any session are limited to different forms of stepping, pushing, pulling, squatting and rotating. There is no need to do one exercise for your triceps, and another for your shoulders, and another for your chest. Two good pushing drills take care of them all. Instead of targeting the upper back and then the lower back, simply pull (in the form of pull-ups or rows) and bridge (holding your torso stiff to build strength in your back). For the lower body, lunge, step-down and squat drills are all it takes. FT trains you for real life motion: stopping, slowing, descending/ascending and catching. Many gyms don’t value the reduction of force — the catching of a ball, landing from a step-down, or changing direction — because there is no easy way to measure it. Yet stopping, descending and absorbing momentum are far more valuable for joint safety than any isolated strength-building exercise. This means not only throwing a medicine ball but also catching each return throw or rebound. It means stepping downward on one leg, running downhill, developing footwork agility, and squatting or lunging with control. Stepping into my private training studio you are not going to see all the machines that adorn the typical gym. My clients want a workout that is fast and efficient. So instead of the fancy machines you will see a typical workout consisting of exercises such as a client doing pull ups, a timed set of box jumps, walking lunges, jump ropes, kettle ball swings, medicine ball throws and other full body exercises. These are clients who are becoming lean and strong, who no longer look overly fed or overly built. These clients can now step into real life situations, participate in life, be healthy and active, and get the best out of life.

For more information, contact Steven Walker at (801) 688-1918 or evolutionstevew@gmail. com, or visit MyEvolutionFitness.com.

Anagram An anagram is a word or phrase that can be made using the letters from another word or phrase. Rearrange the letters below to answer: Hotel Monaco’s Red Party Theme

ounce goo arm ______ _____ PUZZLE SOLUTIONS ARE ON PAGE 43

CLUB

E V I R D FOOD LOVE FOR

E TO MEMBERS E R F S E G E IL HAS ITS PRIV MEMBERSHIP

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Q Puzzle

Who Should Straddle Whom? Across   1 Emulates a market bear   6 Nick was his master 10 Visit Barneys, e.g. 14 Long, loose garment 15 Rock Hudson role, usually 16 Come down in buckets 17 Start of a quip 19 Sondheim’s ___ the Woods 20 Author of the quip 22 Advice columnist Savage 25 “Count me out!” and “Over my dead body!” 26 Fit your first mate’s mast again 27 Zip 29 Storage places 31 “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning” singer 32 Long, hard one of construction workers 34 More of the quip 40 German sub 41 Debtor’s slips 43 Photojournalist Kay 47 Dave Pallone, once 49 Roll with the punches

50 Emerald isle 52 U-turn from SSW 53 More of the quip 57 Lanchester of Bride of Frankenstein 58 End of the quip 62 NY Met or LA Dodger 63 Tylenol target 64 Janis Ian’s “Between the ___” 65 Take care of 66 Barrie buccaneer 67 Coward’s milieu Down   1 Bio. or chem.   2 One who wears very little clothing   3 Sodomite of the Bible   4 Cowardly lion actor   5 On the slopes   6 Eternally, to a poet   7 Looks like   8 Willow’s female lover   9 Chick’s suffix 10 Steeple toppers 11 Novelist de Balzac 12 First word in Richard Hatch’s motto 13 They’re used in forking around 18 Choose not to come 21 Acid relief, in brief 22 In excelsis ___ 23 “Diana” singer 24 Chicago co-producer Meron

28 Vintage wheels 29 Boston cager, for short 30 Perry Mason’s field 32 Judy or Barbra, for example 33 Ewe said it! 35 Relish 36 “May ___ of service?” 37 Confetti-throwing comedian Taylor 38 Kind of cloth 39 “Doggone!” 42 Cole Porter’s “___ America First” 43 Sing the blues 44 Nutrition writer Davis 45 Living Upstairs writer Joseph 46 Onward partner 47 Exodus author Leon 48 Olympic awards for Louganis 50 Izzard of stand-up and more 51 Cara of Fame 54 Uncle Sam’s mail org. 55 Neeson of Kinsey 56 Emulate Jon Barrett 59 Crime lab study 60 Triangle side 61 Tongue ending answers on p. 43

Cryptogram

A cryptogram is a puzzle where one letter in the puzzle is substituted with another. For example: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! Has the solution: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! In the above example Es are all replaced by Cs. The puzzle is solved by recognizing letter patterns in words and successively substituting letters until the solution is reached.

This week’s hint: J = U Theme: Quote by Anne Levinson, Chair of Washington State’s Approve 71 campaign.

Pt paxx it qrmabz yavdsuh ab qsjabz fsuprul dsprul fkxx tnkrxadh fsu zrh rbl xtviarb Prvyabzdsbarbv rbl dytau frqaxatv.

__ ___ __ ______ _______ __ ______ _______ ______ ___ ________ ___ ___ ___ _______ ______________ ___ _____ ________. 3 8  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  issue 1 41  |  Nov e mber 12, 20 09

A&E

The Dating Diet

Look Who’s Stalking

VOTED UTAH’S BEST GAY CLUB 2009

by Anthony Paull

I

t’s always an event when

Pete de cides to pursue a new guy. It can never start off with a typical dinner date, comprised of unfulfilled promise and a movie. No, that’s simply too drab for Pete. It wouldn’t be interesting enough. Pete would feel lessthan-fresh, and who wants to be part of a dull romance when just around the corner waits the possibility of sucking off a ‘straight’ sports star? Now, I’m not supposed to say anything, but I love you all so I will. Pete had a random, hot, sexy encounter with an NFL player the other night at the club. Eek! Yes, hot, hot! But still, I’ve been notso-kindly advised to change the names, dates and places, because even though Pete prefers to be in the headlines, he fears the coverage might be enough to thwart his efforts at tackling this famous, tight, tight end. Pete’s going to marry this one if it kills him. That’s what he confessed to me. They had legendary chemistry, talking for over four hours, where Pete touched on the timely topics of movies and music before touching down on Mr. Touchdown’s penis in the parking lot. Z-I-P! That’s how Pete spells love in three letters or less. And right after he felt the package of Mr. Touchdown, he just knew it was the start of a long, blissful union. Forget the fact that Mr. Touchdown is married. “Separated!” Pete correctes, when I inquire about the wife. “Really? How separated?” I challenge him. “How would I know? Her Facebook page is private.” “You found her on Facebook??” Paying Pete a house visit, I find him at the dining room table, glaring at her profile pic on his laptop. Clad in a gray business suit, he keeps it rather professional. “Of course. Wouldn’t you?” he asks, in a bothered tone. “I mean, if he and I are destined to be together, I need to know his background, right? After all, it’s on the Internet. It’s for public consumption.” “Wait, hold on. You think you’re destined to be together?” “Well, we’re letting fate decide,” he astutely replies. I know. I know. You’re all shaking your heads, going huh? But you see, Mr. Touchdown refused to give Pete his cell phone number after Pete refused to sleep with him. Hence, they haven’t seen each other since. “Let’s leave it to fate,” Mr. Touchdown said, blowing him off. “If it’s meant to be,

we’ll meet again.” Simple enough, except Pete is more complicated than that. He’s no quitter, and he’s not about to allow the gods decide his romantic future, particularly when they’ve spited him in the past. So when he tells me he’s letting fate decide, I know him enough to sense he’s bound to mask manipulation for predetermination. “See this house here,” Pete states, pointing to his computer screen. He’s on Google Maps, where he marvels over a white castle cradled on a creek. “That’s his place. You know, it’s on my way to work. Nice green lawn. Gated.” “You know where he lives?” “Well yeah. It’s public record,” he states. “Anyone could look it up.” “Yeah, but I don’t think anyone is looking it up but you.” “Stop!” “And you’re following it up with a drive-by?” I ask, horrified. “It’s on my way to work!” he says, defending himself. “Oh, please. I’m afraid to ask what else you’re doing.” Fortunately, I don’t have to inquire any further. Catholic Pete feels guilty enough to tell me. It seems he’s been on a strict schedule, going back to the scene of the crime, where he had first met Mr. Touchdown, on a daily basis. Alone, he’s been waiting on the same barstool, asking the same bartenders if they’ve seen Mr. Touchdown. He’s even given one particular bartender his phone number to call him in case Mr. Touchdown shows up when he’s not there. “That’s not fate,” I inform Pete. “That’s stalking.” “According to who?” “The court system!” Still, Pete seems to believe their love is written in the stars, even though he seems to be the one holding the marker. The question is: should I fault him for it? Sure, he’s gone above and beyond reasonable measures in the pursuit of love, but haven’t we all done the very same? Don’t we all try to purposely place ourselves in the right place at the right time to find Mr. Right? The only difference here is Mr. Touchdown was never right for Pete, and clearly, that’s where this all went wrong. If he were interested, he would have taken Pete’s phone number; he would have called. The truth is Mr. Right wants more than one night; he wants every night. If only Pete could see that. If only he’d understand that no one should have to chase their own destiny. That like love, destiny finds us, whether or not we allow it. Q

Nov e mber 12, 20 09  |  issue 1 41  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  39

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Q Scene

JAM to this Monster Mash by Mike Ellis

Editor’s Note: Please welcome our new columnist. Mike Ellis, who will be reporting on the goings-on in Salt Lake’s gay night scene. Check here for truth in the latest bar rumors, a bit of naughty gossip and where the party will be.

O

h Halloween. It’s one of my favorite holidays,

and the weekend promised to be one of the best Halloween nights I have seen in a while. I’ll give you all of the spooky details of the weekend’s events and provide you with some bonetingling post-Halloween reading. Friday kicked off the festivities. Sources tell me Club Sound was a little disappointing and not what they would have expected from the big Friday night hang out. I, myself, was at Club JAM for their Erotic Halloween private party. I was one of the few people who wasn’t dressed up that evening, but there were so many great costumes — Lady GaGas in all shapes and sizes, pirate wenches and so much more. And to make things even better, it was a packed house. Saturday delivered quite a few treats and some hot tricks at crazy house parties and full bars. JAM proved to be no exception when DJ TiDY held his Monster Ball party and the guests were prepared to

dance the night away! JAM is becoming one of the hot hangouts in Salt Lake. You may even call it the “diamond in the rough” bar. It’s growing, and getting a lot of buzz and attention from a large portion of people. DJ TiDY says, “I don’t see it going away, I only see it growing.” He also mentioned, “JAM has proven itself to not only be a swanky nightclub, but also a place for the community to gather.” If you haven’t been there, or have only been once, get on over there and see what you’re missing. JAM, in my opinion, is going to bring nothing but mindblowing things. The party didn’t stop there. Babylon pulled out all the stops

 Van took turns snapping shots at Club Try-Angles’ fab Halloween extravaganza:

4 0  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  issue 1 41  |  Nov e mber 12, 20 09

and transformed the entire club into a haunted mansion. The place was packed full of half-naked boys and some truly stunning attire, the music was pumping and all three dance floors were open, providing the guests with ample room to get their “Monster Mash” on. Eric and Nova did an amazing job planning and executing the entire evening. As many of you have probably heard, Nova has left Club Sound and is now over at Babylon. She has certainly made her mark at the venue and spectacular things are only to come. There is even talk of a new 18-and-over venue opening. Don’t worry, I’m working on finding those juicy details! All in all, the weekend was a hit. Aside from quite a few missing cell phones, a few bruises and some DUIs, it seemed like everyone had an excellent time. Be sure to check out my future columns every two weeks to stay in tune with the hot places to be, and what’s coming up. Watch out, you’ll never know what I may see!   Q  Mike Ellis, Photo by David Daniels

 David Daniels made it to the annual QUAC Halloween Party dressed as a photographer...

 David also made it to JAM’s Erotic Halloween party dressed as ... a photographer

Nov e mber 12, 20 09  |  issue 1 41  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  4 1

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Q Tales

The Perils of Petunia Pap-Smear

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tryst like: “I don’t want you to think I am a whore.” Used in a sample sentence: Everyone thought she was the innocent, nice girl, until the night of the prom. She was found at one of the after parties, giving head in a circle jerk, thus signifying her as a trollop to the whole school. After reading these descriptions, I felt most comforted to know that they accurately described my situation. And there are others like me out there. There might be a great deal of living left in me before I go to that Great Drag Show in the Sky; however, it may be subject to increasing aches and pains, and the makeup may slide off once in a while. So, rather than trying to fight a losing battle against Mother Nature, I decided it’s best just to go with the flow, embrace my trollop-itude and revel in being “an aging strumpet awash in oceans of slutwear.” Therefore, encouraged by this information, and wanting some company in my advancing years, I, Petunia PapSmear, do hereby announce that I intend to form the “Great Society for the Preservation of Trollops,” or G-SPOT for short. Perhaps I should open a piano bar for geriatric drag queens named “Trollops,” possibly in the marmalade district, where G-SPOT could be headquartered. We could specialize in serving lovely fruity drinks with umbrellas in them and re-runs of The Golden Girls would play endlessly in the background. Of course in the restroom, there would be a vending machine full of Viagra, Cialis, and Geritol. People looking for the G-SPOT could finally have a common

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I was helping Ruby Ridge host Third Friday Night Bingo last month, and as I was working the room, my feet hurt in those heels, my back hurt from supporting my 54-inch quadruple D boobs, and to my horror, I realized that My God! I’ve reached old troll status. This was made readily apparent when I needed to use a cement trowel to apply my glitter makeup in order to fill in the canyons that polite society refers to as “crow’s feet.” No wonder the young twinks and gym bunnies have been shrieking and fleeing from my presence as if being pursued by Gayle Ruzicka herself. In despair, I wondered, when the hell did I become a troll? Then I realized that these things are actually recorded in the fossil record, and my decline most likely began in the late Cretaceous Period. I also wondered, is troll even the proper term for a has-been drag queen, or is the drag queen version of a troll a trollop? I just love the word “trollop,” but was unsure of its correct meaning. So, I looked it up and found several fascinating descriptions: 1) According to Merriam Webster: A trollop is a vulgar or disreputable woman; especially: one who engages in sex promiscuously or for money. 2) According to the Urban Dictionary: A Trollop is a woman who plays innocent like she don’t have sex and she don’t like cock, but in reality, sleeps with every dude she lays eyes on. Says things before engaging in a one-night

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gathering place. I envision how it will be referenced in future history books: Petunia Pap-Smear gathered the trollops of the world to the Valley of the Great Salt Lake, to help them find the G-SPOT, just like Brigham Young gathered the Mormon pioneers to Utah to help them find their beehive hairdos. I’m sure they could add some additional text and statuary to the “This Is The Place Monument” to record this momentous sociological movement. Oh, I’m a queen on a divine mission now! Once we all find the G-SPOT, to make our trollop lifestyle complete, Trollops Bar could be located adjacent to a retirement living center for old trolls (and trollops) that we could name “Bridges.” I worry about living quarters for aging queens, because the bridge under which I currently live is scheduled for repaving, and I worry that my D.I. chic furnishings might get weather damaged during a forced relocation. It’s always important for a Queen to keep all her options open and to create fabulousness at every opportunity. The different floor plans of the Bridges Development could have names like; London Bridge, Brooklyn Bridge, and the penthouse suite could be called the Golden Gate Bridge. Of course, there would need to be an old-fashioned drawbridge at the front entrance — accompanied by the requisite billy goat-shaped mail box for ambiance — leading to an interior garden maze of overgrown paths to help make the old time park cruisers feel at home. I just get giddy with excitement as the possibilities unfold! Of course, Bridges would have to employ only buff young jocks, fully trained in massage therapy and who would not mind being blatantly ogled and on the receiving end of the occasional wayward groping hand. Their uniforms could be muscle shirts and spandex workout shorts. The activity room would be equipped with disco balls for the afternoon tea dances to keep the blood flowing. It will be a little bit of heaven on earth. So, let the organizing begin and let the masses begin to gather. G-SPOT forever! Trollops rule! Like always, these events leave us with many eternal questions: 1) After how many pounds of glitter does one need to begin using a trowel? 2) Will the city let me erect a neon sign for G-SPOT? 3) Should G-SPOT invest in a discount “slutwear” factory outlet? 4) Can G-SPOT qualify for tax exempt status? 5) Would nighttime uniforms of black jockstraps and bowties be appropriate for the Bridges staff? 6) Will G-SPOT need to send out missionaries? These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of “The Perils of Petunia Pap-Smear.”  Q

Nov e mber 12, 20 09  |  issue 1 41  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  43

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