QSaltLake April 29, 2010 by QSaltLake Magazine

salt lake Issue 153 April 29, 2010

6th

Anniversary Issue

Lesbian Challenges Matheson

Our Annual Reader Poll on the Best Places to Eat, Shop and Play in Utah

Park City Passes Discrimination Ordinances

Utah Pride Festival Announces More Plans

Gay and Lesbian Bar Guide

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MAY1 2010

bill of rights celebration: The future of freedom

salt lake

2010 FABBY

AWARDS

ISSUE 153 • april 29, 2010

Fa ys . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 news

National . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 Local . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10

arts & entertainment views

First Person . . . . . . . . . . . 6 Guest Editorial . . . . . . . 17 Bullshattuck . . . . . . . . . . 18 Queer Gnosis . . . . . . . . . 19 Snaps & Slaps . . . . . . . . 20 Lambda Lore . . . . . . . . . 20 Who’s Your Daddy? . . . . 21 Creep of the Week . . . . . 22 The Dating Diet . . . . . . . 24 Q Fitness . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

6:00 PM - 9:00 PM at the Salt Palace Convention Center

featuring

STEVE SHAPIRO National ACLU Legal Director

benefiting the work of

the ACLU of Utah

TICKETS & DETAILS available online at

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all

TickeTs available aT The e-cenTer box office, locaTions, online aT TickeTmasTer.com or by phone (800) 745-3000 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 153 | A pril 29, 2010

Gay Agenda . . . . . . . . . . 32 Ru Paul’s Drag Race. . . . 35 Food & Wine . . . . . . . . . . 37 Dining Guide . . . . . . . . . 39 Crossword, Cryptogram 42 Comics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42 Homoscopes . . . . . . . . . 43 Qdoku . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43 Anagram . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43 Qscene . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44 The Perils of Petunia Pap-Smear . . . . . . . . . 47 Puzzle Answers . . . . . . . 47 The Back Page . . . . . . . . 48

first person

staff

publisher/editor Michael Aaron

Six Years, a Million Copies, Most Fabulous

assistant editor JoSelle Vanderhooft arts & entertainment editor Tony

Hobday graphic designer Christian Allred contributors Chris Azzopardi, Lynn

by Michael Aaron

HE PAPER YOU ARE HOLDING IN YOUR HANDS RIGHT

now is a milestone issue for us. Not only was it six years ago on April 29, 2004 that the first copies rolled off the press and onto the streets of Salt Lake, but it’s also our 153rd issue we have produced. No other gay publication in the history of the state of Utah has put out 153 issues. Uncork the Andre. This issue, we also passed the one million mark. We have published one million copies of QSaltLake since day one. We’ve produced 8,112 pages, and are approaching 10 million words of copy (9,734,443 ... well, not including the article I’m writing now).

2Q10 PRIDE GUIDE COMING SOON Reserve your ad today Call 801.649.6663 today 6 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 153 | A pril 29, 2010

The number that gives us a great amount of satisfaction is that we have donated $425,012 worth of free and discounted ads to nonprofit organizations in the state. We must be quite generous. Maybe that’s why we have to drink Andre. While we are not dripping in cash in this venture, we feel rich in many other ways. I am back driving my old Jeep Wrangler with the QSaltLake logo emblazoned on the sides, and I revel in the number of people who give a friendly tap on the horn and wave, or flashing me the latest copy of the paper sitting on the passenger seat. One of our goals was to help build Utah’s gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender community and we feel we have done our part in doing that, and will continue to do so as long as you’ll have us. We went so far this year as to actually put a mission statement onto paper ... well, onto our wall. In 12-inch-high letters, stretching 25 feet long, it reads: Our mission: to inform, educate and ❝ entertain our community with integrity, accuracy and gaiety. ❞

It’s not exactly Robert Frost, but I think it says what we are striving to do within these walls. Fabbys This issue is also our annual readers choice awards — the Fabby Awards. Once called Utah’s Best, for which we were threatened a lawsuit, then called Utah’s Most Fabulous, it’s now been shortened to the Fabbys. It has a certain ring to it. Last year, Hope Woodside ran through the Fox 13 offices yelling, “We won a Fabby, we won a Fabby!” She loved the sound of it. She was a genuine joy at the awards ceremony last year. Let’s see if Mark Koelbel is so gracious this year. I hope he wears a low-cut red dress and heels like Hope did. She was stunning! I’m sure he would be, too. I always learn new places to try when we do this issue. Places I’ve never even heard of will win and award, making me feel out of touch. so off I go. I hope you’ll do the same. Most, though, will be familiar haunts to many of us. I think our community finds a place where we feel comfortable and we just settle in. It just feels like home when you look across the room and see someone you know, or someone you know is gay. Pride I hope you enjoy the issue. Our “big one” is coming your way in four weeks — the annual Guide to Pride. I know it’s hard to believe that Pride is just around the corner, as we look out the window at snow and sleet. Let’s pray for a warm, sunny and dry weekend this year. There, 9,734,988 words. Where’s my mimosa? Q

Beltran, Turner Bitton, Miles Broadhead, Dave Brousseau, Brad Di Iorio, , Chef Drew Ellswroth, Greg Fox, H. Rachelle Graham, Bob Henline, Tony Hobday, Christopher Katis, Keith Orr, Petunia Pap-Smear, Anthony Paull, Steven Petrow, Hunter Richardson, Ruby Ridge, Ryan Shattuck, A.E. Storm, JoSelle Vanderhooft, Ben Williams, Troy Williams, D’Anne Witkowski, Rex Wockner contributing photographers Benjamin Bamba, David Daniels, Brian Gordon, Ed Kosmicki, Laurie Kaufman, David Newkirk sales manager Brad Di Iorio office manager Tony Hobday distribution Brad Di Iorio, Ryan Benson, Gary Horenkamp, Nancy Burkhart publisher

Salt Lick Publishing, LLC 1055 East 2100 South, ste 206 Salt Lake City, Utah 84106 tel: 801-649-6663 toll-free: 1-800-806-7357 for general information:

info@qsaltlake.com for editorial queries:

editor@qsaltlake.com QSaltLake is a trademark of Salt Lick Publishing, LLC. Copyright © 2010, Salt Lick Publishing LLC. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted or reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Copies of QSaltLake are distributed free of charge in 200 locations across Utah and in Idaho and Nevada. Free copies are limited to one per person. For additional copies, contact us at 801-649-6663. It is a crime to destroy or dispose of current issues or otherwise interfere with the distribution of this newsmagazine. Publication of the name or photograph of any individual or organization in articles or advertising in QSaltLake is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons. Printed in the U.S.A. QSALTLAKE.COM FACEBOOK.COM/QSALTLAKE MYSPACE.COM/QSALTLAKE

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national news

Quips & Quotes

by rex wockner

GetEQUAL badgers Obama, Congress in L.A. and D.C. The LGBT community’s new activist pit bulls, GetEQUAL, upped the pressure on President Barack Obama on April 19, 20 and 21 over his failure to keep major campaign promises to LGBT Americans. Although Obama has taken several smaller steps seen as favorable or helpful to LGBT Americans, he has yet to secure passage of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, or repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act. GetEQUAL’s latest broadside started April 19 at a fundraiser for U.S. Sen. Barbara Boxer in Los Angeles. Activists David John Fleck, Dan Fotou, Laura Kanter, Zoe Nicholson and Michelle Wright paid their way into the event and then repeatedly shouted at Obama about repealing DADT as he tried to address the gathering. “We are going to do that. Hey! Hold on a second! Hold on a second! We are going to do that!” Obama responded. “All right. Guys. Guys. All right. I agree. I agree. I agree. ... What the young man was talking about was we need to — we need to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, which I agree with and which we have begun to do. But let me say this: When you’ve got an ally like Barbara Boxer and you’ve got an ally like me who are standing for the same thing, then you don’t know exactly why you’ve got to holler, because we already hear you, all right? I mean, it would make more sense to holler that at the people who oppose it.” A few moments later, more shouting ensued. “I’m sorry, do you want to come up here?” Obama said directly to a protester. “Can I just say once again, Barbara and I are supportive of repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, so I don’t know why you’re hollerin’.” Obama then stepped away from the microphone and spoke with Boxer. He returned to the mic and stated: “I just checked with Barbara, so if anybody else is thinking about starting a chant, Barbara didn’t even vote for Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell in the first place, so you know she’s going to be in favor of repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” The protesters were eventually removed from the room. “President Obama has been AWOL on DADT,” said Fotou. “We had to remind him of the promises he made to the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community during his campaign and several times during his presidency — that DADT will be repealed because, as he’s stated, ‘it’s the right thing to do.’” Added Wright, “We made it clear our community will hold accountable our president for unkept promises.” In response to Obama’s questioning why gays are shouting at him over DADT, blogger Andrew Sullivan explained: “Because, Mr. President, it is not enough to be ‘supportive’ of ending ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.’ When you have the presidency and your party controls both houses of Congress, it’s a matter

❝

They could lose their jobs, they could lose housing, they could lose their children because they don’t have legal rights.” —Hildegard Koenig, Utah Domestic Violence Council victim’s advocate, describing the challenges gay and transgender domestic violence survivors face to The Salt Lake Tribune

❝

I can live with matching Salt Lake City for now. But it’s something we will follow because all classes should have protection from discrimination.” —Park City Mayor Dana Williams

❝

PHOTO: JOHN ARAVOSIS/AMERICABLOG

of having the political will to end it. Not all gay people are HRC fundraisers. Some are even risking their lives every day for this country, in uniform, only to be treated like second class human beings and citizens by their own government. Their own government? That means you, Mr. President and Senator Boxer.”

CHAINED TO THE WHITE HOUSE FENCE

The following day, April 20, GetEQUAL protesters returned to the White House for a second round of handcuffing themselves to the fence and being arrested, a month after the group’s initial action there. This time, six people locked themselves up. They were identified by GetEQUAL as “Lt. Dan Choi (and) LGBT discharged veterans Capt. Jim Pietrangelo II, Petty Officer Larry Whitt, Petty Officer Autumn Sandeen, Cadet Mara Boyd and Cpl. Evelyn Thomas.” “We are handcuffing ourselves to the White House gates once again to demand that President Obama show leadership on repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” said Choi. “If the president were serious about keeping his promise to repeal this year, he would put the repeal language in his defense authorization budget. The president gave us an order at the Human Rights Campaign dinner (in October) to keep pressure on him and we will continue to return to the White House, in larger numbers, until the president keeps his promise to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell this year.” Thomas said: “A few weeks ago I saw Lt. Dan Choi take dramatic action at the White House and it made me realize that I needed to do something to stand up for all the black female soldiers who have been discharged under DADT. Many people don’t know that we black women are discharged disproportionately more than others under DADT.” The six protesters were taken into custody and charged with refusing to obey a police order. Choi and Pietrangelo later pleaded not guilty and face trial July 14. The other four demonstrators each agreed to pay a $100 fine within 30 days and to stay away from the

8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 153 | A pril 29, 2010

streets around the White House until they’ve paid their fines. “They have served their country again today, and they deserve better than DADT,” GetEQUAL said.

MEDIA BLOCKED FROM COVERING PROTEST

In an unusual development, media covering the White House protest were pushed far into Lafayette Park and away from the action. “The park’s closed. Back up,” a U.S. Park Police officer yelled repeatedly as he herded journalists through the park. Reporters and camerapeople attempted to resist the eviction, walking backward slowly and arguing with the officer. In a video provided by AMERICAblog (see tinyurl.com/ backupclosed), members of the media can be heard saying: “If you want to kick the public out, that’s fine, but let us do our job.” “To where? ... You’re backing us up *into* the park. ... All the way back to what?” One unidentified reporter placed a cellphone call to Brian Bond, the openly gay deputy director of the White House Office of Public Engagement. The reporter ended up talking to someone named Fred and said: “They’re pushing the media back like two blocks ... all the way back across Lafayette Park. It’s really pretty outrageous. ... This is just kind of ridiculous. I mean, it’s one thing to push the public back, but not to let the media film is just ridiculous. ... They’re just saying, ‘The park is closed, you’ve got to push back.’ They’ve got us as far back as the Jackson statue, and they’re still pushing us back. ... This is really ridiculous.” The following day, Park Police spokesman Sgt. David Schlosser told Politico.com that his department “screwed up.” “We had some young officers who, when they were told to move the people back — which we typically do when we’re going to make arrests — they moved the people back a lot further than we typically do,” Schlosser said. “That was a rookie, amateur error and

A media presence is important, but I find it hard to believe the only gay man available for interviews thinks he is an ’80s valley girl with the IQ of a sack of rocks.” —University of Utah student Chris Wade in an opinion piece for The Daily Utah Chronicle, criticizing a 107.9 program featuring a “stereotypically over-the-top” gay man

❝

We hate this. My staff and I have worked hard to make Piper Down a friendly-to-all place and we’re proud of our extremely diverse crowd we get every night.” —Piper Down owner David Morris on a gay bashing at his pub

❝

“At first glance, Utah is incredibly conservative. Yet, there’s an underlying layer of counterculture and opposition to the mainstream culture of Utah that thrives and should make Anchorage’s liberals blush.” —Equality Utah intern (and native Alaskan) Josh Lee in a guest editorial for Anchorage Press

❝

“I personally have noticed that there is now a more inclusive atmosphere at SUU as a result.” —Benjamin Smith, president of Southern Utah University’s Queer Straight Alliance, telling The Spectrum about a recent SUU policy forbidding discrimination based on sexual orientation.

they screwed up on that. ... It’s just embarrassing.” AMERICAblog’s John Aravosis, who was among the media people pushed away from the protest, rejected Schlosser’s explanation. “We’re to believe that rookies who make mistakes are working the White House beat for the Park Service?” Aravosis asked. “If you watch the video, it sure looks like several different branches of White House security start discussing what to do, then some guys who look much older than rookies start telling everyone the park is closed.”

CONGRESSIONAL HEARING DISRUPTED

On April 21, GetEQUAL continued its onslaught, disrupting a hearing of the U.S. House Education and Labor Committee to demand that the Employment Non-Discrimination Act be marked up and sent to the House floor for an immediate vote. During the action (video at tinyurl.com/ uwantmarker), GetEQUAL co-founder Robin McGehee tried to give committee Chairman George Miller, D-Calif., a magic marker so he could “mark up” ENDA. “I’d just like to deliver this marker,” McGehee said. “I don’t know if because of the recession that you guys can’t afford markers or whatever the issue is but in our community there are people being fired because they are lesbian, gay, bi or transgender.” “As you know,” Miller replied, “we’re working very hard on that legislation. ... I will not accept that marker. We’re working on that as expeditiously as we can. Thank you very much.” Someone else on the committee then can be heard off-camera saying: “This is the problem with this. There’s no end to

it. You’re never going to satisfy them all.” The protesters — including Mark Reed, Kelsey Phipps, Natasha Dillon, Alan Bounville, Sergio Llanos and Ali Lozano — were not arrested. Gay U.S. Rep. Jared Polis, D-Colo., escorted them from the hearing room. “Every day that ENDA is not passed is another day when someone in our community will be fired, especially transgender individuals and those living in states that have struck down employment protections,” said Reed. “We are determined to continue fighting for this bill and intend to use non-violent civil disobedience and people-powered actions to bring attention to the injustice.” ENDA has been stuck in Miller’s committee since last year, even though gay U.S. Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass., said it would be voted on by the end of 2009. More recently, Frank, Polis, Rep. Tammy Baldwin, D-Wis., and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., have said the bill is a priority and that they have the votes to pass it.

WHO’S PAYING FOR THIS ACTIVISM?

GetEQUAL’s activities have been funded to date by Jonathan Lewis, the son of one of the founders of the Progressive auto insurance group. McGehee didn’t provide a precise dollar figure, but said Lewis’ “seed money,” given to the group in January, was enough to allow McGehee and GetEQUAL co-founder Kip Williams both to take a sixmonth sabbatical from their jobs. The seed money also paid for the 45-person retreat in January at the Highlander Research and Education Center in Tennessee, where GetEQUAL was born, and has covered the group’s travel expenses, other expenses and bail amounts to date.

Gay Anti-gay Senator Wins ‘Pink Brick’ San Francisco’s LGBT Pride Committee has given its annual “Pink Brick Award” to a gay person for the first time: California state Sen. Roy Ashburn, R-Bakersfield. Ashburn was outed in March after he was arrested for drunk driving as he reportedly drove away from a gay bar. It quickly emerged that Ashburn, who has an almost perfect anti-gay voting record, Calif. State Sen. Roy Ashburn, frequented R-Bakersfield gay bars in the state capital. A few days later, he officially came out in an interview on a Bakersfield radio station. But, in that interview, Ashburn said he would continue to vote anti-gay because that’s how his constituents want him to vote. “My votes reflect the wishes of the people in my district,” he said. “And I have April

always felt that my faith and allegiance was to the people there in the district, my constituents, and so as each of these individual (pro-gay) measures came before the Legislature, I cast ‘no’ votes — usually ‘no’ votes — because the measures were almost always about acknowledging rights or assigning identification to homosexual persons. ... I felt my duty, and I still feel this way, is to represent my constituents.” That rubbed San Francisco Pride organizers the wrong way. “This is the very first time in Pink Brick Award history that an out gay person is the recipient,” said Pride Executive Director Amy André. “By selecting Sen. Roy Ashburn, the LGBT community is sending a strong message to the world that LGBT people — especially those with the political power and privilege to further LGBT rights — have a responsibility to work toward liberation for all.” The Pride board president, Mikayla Connell, said the organization hopes Ashburn “realizes that it’s never too late for him — or anyone else — to choose liberation and justice over shame, fear and silence.” Past Pink Bricks have gone to Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly, Sen. Diane Feinstein, George W. Bush, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Carrie Prejean. 29, 2010 | issue 153 | QSa lt L a k e | 9

MOUNTAIN WEST ARTS CONFERENCE

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local news

Salt Lake County Democrats Nominate Gay, Allied Candidates The Salt Lake County Democrats held their county convention at West High School on April 24, during which delegates picked a number of candidates to run in the midterm election this November. The morning began with meetings of individual caucuses, including the Hispanic Caucus, the Disability Caucus and the Utah Stonewall Democrats — a gay, lesbian and transgender group that is also the largest caucus in the state party. Here, president Nikki Boyer and secretary Todd Bennett presided over speeches from hopefuls in a number of races, all looking for the caucus’ endorsement. They included Paul Recanzone of District 51 (in heavily Republican Sandy and Draper), county attorney general candidate Greg Skordas, and incumbent Rep. Rebecca Chavez-Houck of House District 24. A straight ally, Chavez-Houck has run a bill seeking to allow same-sex couples to adopt children for the last three years. She told delegates that she would continue to support bills pushing for a statewide Rep. Rebecca Chavez-Houck l a w f o r b i d d i n g employment and housing discrimination against gay and transgender people. “There are very few caucuses where I say I feel I’m at home,” said Chavez-Houck, naming the Hispanic Caucus and the Stonewall caucus as two examples. “What can I say? I’m going to continue to fight and support the adoption bill. … We’ve got to get back to where we were pre-2000 [the year the law prohibiting unmarried couples from adopting was passed] where everyone who wants a family is able to do so.” Later in the day, delegates from Chavez-Houck’s district gave her the nomination by acclamation when her opponent, Richard Goldberger, did not show up. Although their races will not be decided until the state convention Claudia Wright on May 8, two congressional hopefuls also addressed the caucus. They were Claudia Wright, an openlylesbian challenger for Rep. Jim Matheson’s 2nd Congressional District seat, and Karen Hyer, who is challenging Republican Rep. Jason Chaffetz of the 3rd Congressional District. “I think we are at a point where some of

the problems in this country are so severe that we need to work together,” said Hyer. “We can’t be yelling at each other or hatemongering. We don’t have that kind of time. I think we’re going to leave our future grandchildren and children a terrible mess if we don’t work together.” After the speeches, the Stonewall Caucus’ delegates voted to endorse all county politicians running in uncontested races, including openly lesbian Rep. Jackie Biskupski of District 30. In contested races, they endorsed Patrice Arent, running for Representative in newly-created District 36; John Rendell, a former challenger to anti-gay Sen. Chris Buttars now running to represent District 47; and Paul Recanzone of District 51. Delegates made no endorsement in the District 25 House race, though many favored Joel Briscoe and John Netto, the latter outgoing (and openly lesbian) Rep. Christine Johnson’s endorsement to succeed John Netto her. Delegates also endorsed former Salt Lake City Weekly editor Holly Mullen for council member at large and, in a surprise move, all three candidates in the Council District 1 race: Arlyn Bradshaw, Mike Fife and Cal Noyce — all of whom are openly gay. Salt Lake City prosecutor Sim Gill was the body’s choice for District Attorney. The caucus made no vote on whom to endorse for congressional positions. These endorsements will be decided at the State Democratic Convention in May. After caucus meetings, delegates and other attendees convened in the school’s auditorium. Following addresses by several Salt Lake County officials, including Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker and Salt Lake County Mayor Peter Corroon, on the status of the government in the last year, delegates moved to endorse all candidates running for uncontested offices. The floor was opened to candidates running in contested elections. In the race for Salt Lake County Council’s District 1 seat, Arlyn Bradshaw spoke first. Bradshaw, an aid to outgoing council chair Joe Hatch, was introduced by outgoing Councilwoman Jenny Wilson. Last year, Wilson was a key Arlyn Bradshaw figure in approv-

10 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 153 | A pril 29, 2010

ing health benefits for the same-sex partners of county employees and in passing Salt Lake City-style ordinances that forbid housing and employment discrimination against gay and transgender people. “I’m really excited to be here to nominate Arlyn today,” said Wilson, who was joined by fellow council members Randy Horiuchi and Joe Hatch. “Arlyn is our go-to guy as the very able assistant to our chair, Joe Hatch. We have somebody ready to go who knows the issues and is ready to step in.” “I have chosen to run for this seat because I know I will be the most effective [candidate],” said Bradshaw, after being introduced by his partner, Neil Webster. Bradshaw discussed his experience in shaping policy and assisting the council, as well as his goal to support clean water, sustainable energy and ”a vibrant downtown.” “People are trying to shake the public’s faith in public government,” he said. “I’m tired of Utah politics being defined by the likes of [Utah Eagle Forum President] Gayle Ruzicka and [Sen.] Chris Buttars,” State Sen. Ben McAdams and Josie Valdez introduced the second candidate, community activist Cal Noyce. The president of the Utah Federation of Labor and an executive board member of the AFL-CIO, Noyce founded the organization Pride at Work. Cal N0yce “This guarantees when union members are having problems because of LGBT issues that they have someone to turn to,” he said. “And when unions are negotiating contracts with owners, that they see that nondiscrimination clauses are included in those contracts.” As a retiree, Noyce assured delegates that he would be able to work full time as their councilman. The last candidate, Michael Fife, took the stage with his partner, Cannon Jarvis and was introduced by his son and campaign worker, Dave Fife. The commissioner of the Salt Lake City Planning Commission and a Michael Fife member of the Human Rights Campaign, Fife listed the needs of homeless youth, gay and transgender youth and Hispanic youth as among his top priorities, alongside protecting open spaces, developing mass transit options and creating a transparent government.

“I support the issues and I have a sincere belief in the Democratic values of inclusion,” he said. “I didn’t run to set myself up for a future contest or to meet people — though that’s been a wonderful experience. I ran to be your counselor.” Fife was eliminated in the first vote in which roughly 130 delegates participated. But because neither Noyce nor Bradshaw received the 60 percent majority necessary to secure nomination, a second vote was held. Despite Bradshaw’s plea that a primary election would mean “thousands of Democratic dollars [used for] beating up on a Democrat,” neither candidate won the majority in a second or a third vote. Bradshaw and Noyce will square off in a primary election on June 22. As party officials tabulated the votes, the candidates for the House District 25 seat took to the auditorium stage to answer questions. The office is being vacated by openly lesbian Rep. Christine Johnson at the end of the year. The four men, Anthony Kaye, Dixon Hindley, Joel Briscoe and John Netto, whom Johnson has endorsed, spoke to delegates on subjects ranging from their political experience to their thoughts on the Fair Boundaries Initiative, a proposed impartial redrawing of Utah’s political jurisdictions (all support it). All four expressed support for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender rights. “I would consult with Chris Johnson and Equality Utah and ask them how to proceed with those issues,” said Briscoe, a former teacher. “I think they know a lot more about it than I do. They should be brought up for debate on the [Senate and House] floor. I don’t know why it can’t be, but it hasn’t happened yet.” “[Equality Utah’s] Common Ground Initiative is a good down payment on where we need to go,” said Hindley, a defense attorney, referring to the statewide gay and transgender rights organization’s attempt to pass bills securing statewide probate rights and employment nondiscrimination protections for gay and transgender Utahns. “We need to work on making kids safe in schools, where gay and transgender kids are vulnerable.” Kaye, a lawyer who founded And Justice for All, a group to help low income people secure attorneys, said that securing equal marriage and adoption rights in Utah would likely come only after a “long campaign to change the hearts and minds of the Legislature.” “I’m committed to having that conversation from day one, but I think it’s up to all of us because I don’t think the Legislature is there yet. One of the things I think can be done now would be a bill to provide financing for teens and young adults who are homeless, 37 percent of who are LGBT.” Netto, a businessman who has testified in favor of a bill by Johnson that seeks to extend nondiscrimination protections for gay and transgender Utahns statewide, mentioned his support for Equality Utah. “In the least three years or more I’ve given a great deal of love and treasure to the equal rights community,” he said. State delegates will pick a nominee for the District 25 race at the state convention, which will be held May 8 at the Salt Palace. Q

festival june 4, 5 and 6

washington square, downtown salt lake city June 4 June 5 June 6

Grand Marshal Reception at the Jewish Community Center, 7pm Pride Rally, Concert and Dance Party; Festival gates open 4pm Pride Parade 10am; Festival gates open 11am

make it a pride weekend at the sheraton salt lake city hotel Packages start at $129 per night (based

A Program of the Utah Pride Center

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featuring our 2010 grand marshal sister dottie s. dixon, saturday night headliner sandra bernhard, sunday entertainer martha wash, and special appearances by the dc cowboys

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A pril 29, 2010 | issue 153 | QSa lt L a k e | 11

local news

Q uni

Lesbian Challenges Matheson for Congressional Seat by JoSelle Vanderhooft

Claudia Wright became a serious contender for Utah Congressman Jim Mathesonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s job by answering an ad on Craigslist. The ad was one of many â&#x20AC;&#x201D; some satirical, others serious â&#x20AC;&#x201D; that appeared on the classified ads Web site last November when Matheson earned the ire of Utah liberals by voting against a proposed national health care reform bill. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I was working in a group of progressive Democrats on health care [reform] at the timeâ&#x20AC;? that included Democrats from environmental, peace, gay rights and immigrantsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; rights groups, said Wright. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The common denominator was the inaccessibility of our congressman. So one of our members put the ad on Craigslist out of frustration and wanted a courageous Congressperson who wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t sell out to corporate interests.â&#x20AC;? The ad in question read: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wanted: Progressive Congressional Representative to represent the people of Utahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 2nd district. Must have solid moral values and a resistance to selling out to corporate interests. Eligible candidate should have a strong commitment to defending fundamental human rights over corporate profits.â&#x20AC;? Wright was one of several candidates who submitted a resume. As a retired high school teacher who had taught advanced placement classes in American history, European history, humanities and womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s studies, she said she had the time, knowledge and dedication for the job. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I really wanted to follow through on the process,â&#x20AC;? she said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It was like being able to put together the information about how the system works.â&#x20AC;? Wright was one of five candidates to move on to a second interview. Here, a committee of community leaders including Utah Pride Center Executive Director Valerie Larabee and Equality Utah Director Brandie Balken narrowly picked University of Utah molecular biologist John Weis over her. However, Weis withdrew after learning that he would lose his research lab if he undertook the job, leaving Wright as the challenger. Since then, Wright and a stable of dedicated volunteers (including campaign manager Michael Picardi, former head of the gay and lesbian Democratic caucus, Utah Stonewall Democrats) have been working scores of unpaid hours to make her campaign a success. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Everyone is a volunteer,â&#x20AC;? said Wright. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re doing this with a lot less money and a lot more people. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been the miracle of this campaign â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the number of people who have come out to support me.â&#x20AC;? Wright is campaigning on a progressive platform that supports such things as expanding the Medicare system to cover all Americans, pursuing alternate forms of energy, strengthening the countryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s labor movement, and using public money to fund elections â&#x20AC;&#x201D; thus, in her view, keeping corporate interests out of the process. She is also an out lesbian who supports repealing the militaryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ban on openly gay

and transgender servicemembers and the Defense of Marriage Act, which federally defines marriage as the union between one man and one woman, and allows states not to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states. She also supports the federal Employment Nondiscrimination Act, which would make it illegal to discriminate against employees on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity in all 50 states. â&#x20AC;&#x153;In addition to these acts, I believe that we must look carefully at what constitutes a family,â&#x20AC;? Wright wrote on her campaign Web site. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The current definition of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mom, Dad, and the kidsâ&#x20AC;? applies to less than 50% of American families. Grandparents rearing their grandchildren have a right to be called

Equality Utah Sandy Meeting to remember that the Stonewall Caucus is either the largest or second largest in the state, so that really wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be to his benefit.â&#x20AC;? Even though her campaign doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a lot of money, Wright has full confidence in her volunteers and in her chances at the state convention on May 8 where Utahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s delegates will pick her or Matheson as their candidate in November. Moreover, she said that frustration with Matheson, whom many Utah Democrats view as inaccessible and too conservative, may also help her. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I think what has happened to him is the gerrymandering [of his district] has affected him profoundly,â&#x20AC;? she said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;When he started his career he started out as mod Democrat, and now heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s move so far to the right that

Statewide gay and transgender rights group Equality Utah will hold a community meeting in Sandy to discuss the basics of ordinances that extend employment and housing protections to gay and transgender residents. The public is welcome and encouraged to attend. WHEN: May 5, 6:30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;7:30 p.m. WHERE: Sandy Library, 10100 S. 1450 East INFO: equalityutah.org/ccg.htm

U of U Lavender Graduation The University of Utahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s LGBT Resource Center will again hold its Lavender Graduation for spring semester graduates. Coffee, tea and dessert will be served after, and friends, family and allies are invited to attend. All graduates will receive a certificate and a rainbow tassel. WHEN: May 6, 5:30 p.m. WHERE: Olpin Student Union Theater INFO/RSVP: by April 30 to Katie Stiel at kstiel@sa.utah.edu.

OUTreach Dinner The board members and supporters of OUTreach, Ogdenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s support center for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth and adults, will hold a dinner to benefit OUTreachâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s programming. More details will be announced soon. INFO: Gary Horenkamp at 801-686-4528.

Sexuality Empowerment Workshop families. Brothers and sisters helping to care for an elderly parent have a right to be called families. Two women or two men with children have a right to be called families. Our definition of the highly charged word â&#x20AC;&#x153;familyâ&#x20AC;? needs to keep up with the multiple relationships in which Americans now live, and our legal systems need to keep up with the civil rights of all these citizens.â&#x20AC;? Wright has been open about being lesbian from the moment she interviewed for the job of running against Matheson. So far, she said that people have responded positively or neutrally to her sexuality. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve said that [Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m lesbian] in a number of places and venues. I want them to know that,â&#x20AC;? she said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I want them to know exactly who theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re voting for because if itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an issue, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an issue. I think the Democrats are OK with it, but I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t how itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll play with the Republicans. â&#x20AC;Ś To Mathesonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s credit he hasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t said anything about it, but youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got

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heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s more conserve than [Sen. Bob] Bennett. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what floored me, when Bennett was showing more compassion for healthcare, I wondered what on earth is going on.â&#x20AC;? Wright is also encouraged by an influx of new Democratic delegates, as well as by Republicans who are joining the party â&#x20AC;&#x153;because of the extreme nature of whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s going on with the militias and the Tea Parties.â&#x20AC;? Further, she noted that many of her younger volunteers have said that their campaign reminds them of working on President Barack Obamaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, which also began as a small, grassroots effort. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Every time we start something new weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re told we canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do that, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s impossible, and I think what weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re proving is that it can work,â&#x20AC;? said Wright. â&#x20AC;&#x153;If people become involved it can work.â&#x20AC;? Claudia Wrightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Web site is located at claudiawrightforutah.com.

The Utah Pride Centerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s next empowerment workshop, Sexuality and Intimacy: It Does a Body and Soul Good, will focus on sexual health. It will cover such issues as being aware of sexual needs and motivations, increasing sexual empathy for oneself and others, and forming positive relationships with oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s body. The interactive workshop will include discussion and art. The workshop will be facilitated by Joshua Bytendorp. Particpants are asked to commit, at minimum, to the first three sessions or the last three, though all six can be taken. WHEN: Every Thursday from April 29 to June 10, 7â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8:30 p.m. WHERE: Utah Pride Center COST: $15 per three-week module (scholarships available) INFO: Joshua Bytendorp at PHOTOS 801-573-1194

Utah Now the Only State Prohibiting Adoptions by ‘Cohabitating’ Couples An Arkansas judge has overturned the state’s voter-approved law prohibiting adoptions by unmarried couples, making Utah the only state with such a law still on the books. The April 16 ruling by Pulaski County Circuit Judge Christopher C. Piazza strikes down the Arkansas Adoption and Foster Care Act, which passed 57-43 percent in 2008 and which prohibited cohabitating couples — heterosexual or homosexual — from adopting. Piazza said the law violates the Arkansas constitution’s guaranteed right to privacy and forces couples “to choose between becoming a parent and having any meaningful type of intimate re-

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lationship outside of marriage.” The law, Piazza said, targets a “politically unpopular group.” “It is not narrowly tailored to the least restrictive means necessary to serve the State’s interest in determining what is in the best interest of the child,” Piazza said. The American Civil Liberties Union filed the suit on behalf of several same-sex couples. Although the Arkansas Family Council Action Committee — which sponsored the ballot initiative — said it will appeal, Arkansas Attorney General Dustin McDaniel has not given a definitive answer.

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The Park City Council considering two anti-discrimination measures similar to Salt Lake City’s

PHOTO: BRAD DI IORIO

Park City Passes Anti-discrimination Laws, Ogden City Council Considers The Park City Council made good on a promise to pass ordinances protecting gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people from discrimination in employment and housing at its April 15 meeting. The ordinances, with similar wording to those passed in Salt Lake City last year, passed unanimously. The Council even considered lifting exemptions for religious organizations, small businesses and landlords with few properties, a move that Utah state legislators had vowed would result in legislation that would overturn the protections. Mayor Dana Williams said the council members considered the ordinances the “Tao of duh” and, indeed, not one individual or group expressed opposition to the measures at the meeting. “We believe all people should be free from discrimination,” Williams said, lamenting the exemptions in the ordinances. “But we don’t want to be the reason the Legislature moves against the protections.” Utah Senate President Michael Waddoups said the restraint would be “well received” by the Legislature. Similar ordinances were presented to the Ogden City Council on April 20 by

Ogden resident and Log Cabin Republicans Vice President James Humphreys, who drafted the three measures. The council, as expected, did not vote on them that night. Signatures from Ogden residents supporting the proposals were also presented to the council. The petitions were kicked off at a Unitarian Universalist Church of Ogden meeting on Valentine’s Day. Rev. Theresa Novak told the council that the ordinances mirror the Golden Rule. “Treat others as you would want to be treated. Love thy neighbor,” she said. “No one in our town should have to be afraid of losing their home or their job simply because of who they are.” Equality Utah Executive Director Brandie Balken said the ordinances would be “a signal to employers and employees outside the state of Utah that Ogden is a welcoming community.” Equality Utah hopes to get 10 such ordinances passed this year in cities and counties across the state in a project they have dubbed “Communities for Common Ground.” “Through this project we will take the discussion from Capitol Hill to kitchen tables across the state,” she said.

A pril 29, 2010 | issue 153 | QSa lt L a k e | 13

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local news Pride Festival Adds Dance Stage, Trans March, More A revamped dance stage, a civil rights history exhibit and three hours of childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s programming are just some of the new additions coming to the 2010 Utah Pride Festival, said Michael Westley, media & special events coordinator of the Utah Pride Center, the organization that puts on the annual festival. One of the biggest changes, said Westley, is how the three stages on the Washington Square grounds will be run. This year, the main North stage will not experience any gaps in programming as it had in the past between the tear down and set up for each band or act. â&#x20AC;&#x153;All of our programming on the main stage this year will be emceed,â&#x20AC;? he said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all hosted to be one long, continuous show [rather than] band on, band off.â&#x20AC;? The Sunday program includes such acts as singer Angie Evans, past and present members of the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire, a local burlesque troupe and the DC Cowboys â&#x20AC;&#x201D; a group of â&#x20AC;&#x153;dancing, shirtless cowboysâ&#x20AC;? from the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s capital who are a favorite at many U.S. Pride Festivals. Also on the schedule is Ichantzinco Tlaloc, a group of Aztec dancers whose half hour show Westley hopes will particularly appeal to members of the Hispanic community. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We felt it was very important to have something in the program for our Latin and Mexican communities,â&#x20AC;? he said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;This is a really cool piece to this too, because these dances were all the Aztecs were able to keep when Christianity swept through [their lands]. To have that kind of cultural heritage be displayed here is important, because itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s indicative of the same drive for rights we have today.â&#x20AC;? In between acts, actors from the Salt Lake Acting Company will perform short skits and pieces and â&#x20AC;&#x153;paying homage to our sponsors.â&#x20AC;? New sponsors will also be giving the South Stage a makeover. This year, local clubs like Sound and JAM will host parties on this traditionally eclectic stage where festival-goers can dance the day away. Here, Effen Vodka will also sponsor a vodka bar, thus christening the stage with its company name. â&#x20AC;&#x153;One criticism weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had for so long, especially from gay men, is that they want a cocktail and they want to dance,â&#x20AC;? said Westley. â&#x20AC;&#x153;[The change in the programming for the stage] is also important for a couple reasons. This is community building at its most basic â&#x20AC;&#x201D; going into our community and inviting those establishments that have regular contact with the [gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender] community into the festival.â&#x20AC;?

In this case, he added, promotion for the clubs and the festival â&#x20AC;&#x153;goes both ways.â&#x20AC;? The festivalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s East Stage has been renamed the CafĂŠ Stage and will feature local acoustic artists. Often in the past, this has been an open mic venue, featuring everything from local musicians to performance poets. But the festivalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s stages arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the only new things. In place of FAMILIES ... Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s All Relative, an exhibit featuring photographs of

Q uni Politics of Pride before the festival weekend opens. This feature-length documentary by Ken Coolen, the parade director of the Vancouver Pride Society, explores the development of Pride in nations around the world where Pride celebrations are met with hostility from authorities or protestors, including Colombo, Sri Lanka and Moscow, Russia. â&#x20AC;&#x153;This is an eye-opening piece that really shows the history of the Gay Pride movement both nationally and internationally,â&#x20AC;? said Westley. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It shows the struggle that some people in some countries are having just to be able to have a Gay Pride. There are communities in other countries that are mobbed by the opposition. They fear for their

The Escape to Hogle Zoo The Escapeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Annual Gay Day at Hogle Zoo happens in May. As with the annual Lagoon Day, gay and transgender people and allies are asked to wear red for solidarity. The Escape is a social group that provides a safe and friendly setting to meet other gay men in Utah without the use of alcohol and drugs. WHEN: May 15, 1 p.m., meet at the entrance to Hogle Zoo. WHERE: Hogle Zoo, Sunnyside Drive INFO: groups.yahoo.com/group/ TheEscape/

March with Equality Utah Equality Utah is looking for people interested in marching with them during the Utah Pride Parade, June 6. To sign up, e-mail name and shirt size to Keri Jones at keri@equalityutah.org by May 14. Shirts in childrensâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; sizes are available.

Red Butte Garden Benefit Plant Sale families of all sexual orientations and gender identities, the grounds will host an exhibit on the history of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender rights movement in the United States. The large timeline, which a committee of Utah Pride Center volunteers has designed and is now building, â&#x20AC;&#x153;We love the family photo exhibit and the way it shows traditional and non-traditional families coming together, but this year we felt weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like to use that space with a historical teaching piece,â&#x20AC;? said Westley, who noted that the exhibit fits with the theme of this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s festival: Our History, Our Future. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s meant to highlight how far weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve come and how far we have yet to go,â&#x20AC;? he added. Additionally, the exhibit will commemorate the 41st anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, which are credited with launching the modern gay rights movement. However, Westley stressed that the exhibit â&#x20AC;&#x201D; a largely pictorial display of â&#x20AC;&#x153;events, people and placesâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; will also touch on the history of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people in the United States before 1969. In keeping with this educational focus, the festival will also screen Beyond Gay â&#x20AC;&#x201D; The

1 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 153 | A pril 29, 2010

lives just to be able to walk as openly gay people in the streets.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;We do live in a relative blanket of comfort and security here despite the struggles weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re having while working for full equality,â&#x20AC;? he added. â&#x20AC;&#x153;This is about having some perception.â&#x20AC;? Also added to the festival will be two Saturday events: Pride Day 5K, a race held in partnership with Wasatch Area Race Productions, and Family Hour. The latter is actually three hours of programming (from 5â&#x20AC;&#x201C;7 p.m.) on the CafĂŠ Stage for festival-goers and their children, age 12 and under. A Transgender March will also join the Dyke March and Pride Interfaith March. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a lot of excitement around this,â&#x20AC;? said Westley. Above all, Westley said that the 2010 Utah Pride Festival was trying to have â&#x20AC;&#x153;something for everyone.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;All of our programming throughout the entire weekend is meant to be more inclusive for everyone,â&#x20AC;? he said. For more information about the Utah Pride Festival, visit utahpridefestival.org.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to get that yard whipped into shape! Shop from a fabulous selection of herbs, specialty annuals, vegetables, including heirloom and patio varieties, unusual sun and shade perennials, ornamental grasses, and native and drought tolerant plants. Also pick up a great hanging basket or custom planted container. All at the biggest plant sale of the year! WHEN: May 7, 1-8 p.m., Garden members only; May 8, 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., open to public and members. WHERE: Red Butte Gardenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cottamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Grove, 300 Wakara Wy. INFO: redbuttegarden.org

SAGE to Dine and Stroll Together SAGE, the Utah Pride Center’s group for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people age 50 and over, has announced its first social event and its plans for the Utah Pride Festival. On May 21, the group — whose name stands for Services & Advocacy for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender Elders — will hold its first “go-together.” This will be a night out at Gallery Stroll, with dinner at a nearby restaurant following. Interested SAGE members and their partners, friends and loved ones should meet at Phillips Gallery, 444 E. 200 South, at 6 p.m. The event will last until 9 p.m. “We’re going to try and institute those a little more often,” said Jennifer Nuttall, the Center’s Adult Programs director. “The go-togethers are good for going out and doing fun things if you don’t have a natural community to do that with.” As the weather improves, Nuttall said that SAGE will do more “fun, summery-

type things,” such as attending baseball games for their monthly outings. SAGE will also have a presence once again at the Utah Pride Festival. Its booth will offer free health screenings and information about the group’s summer and autumn events — as well as a place to escape the hot summer sun. The booth will also house a survey for community members 50 and over, to help the Center get in touch with these adults and better determine their needs. “This year will be exciting because SAGE is going to walk in the parade for the first time, which does a lot for visibility,” added Nuttall. For more information about marching in the parade, call Tracie at 801-521-3191. To volunteer to work at the SAGE booth, visit utahpridefestival. org and fill out a volunteer application (be sure to check “SAGE” in the zone area). Marchers need to have submitted information by the end of April so that the center can order T-shirts for the group.

Pride Center Launches GSA Network In 1996, West High School’s gay-straight alliance made national headlines when the Salt Lake City School District Board of Education voted to eliminate all extra-curricular school clubs to prevent the fledgling GSA from receiving official support. The controversy around the ban — and the 1998 court case around it — jumpstarted the Gay, Lesbian Straight Education Network, which created the first GSA, and lead to the founding of alliances in schools across the country. Fourteen years later, however, the Utah Pride Center found that it didn’t know how many GSAs exist in the state. The Center made the discovery, said volunteer Eric Hamren, during a small but disorganized summit for Utah GSAs that no students attended. “While we were there, we were like, ‘How many GSAs are there in Utah?’ and we found that no one knows where they all are and there’s no communication between them,” he said. In order to help that communication along, the Center is launching the Utah GSA Network. Part of this network is an annual GSA summit, in which the Center will offer training for junior high, high school and college/university students who are running GSAs, or who want more information on how to set one up. “It’s much more organized in getting the GSAs started, keeping them sustained and helping their leadership development, because in a lot cases, kids start a GSA and have no idea what a GSA is,” Hamren explained. The idea of the network is already popular among the state’s gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and allied youth. The Center, said Hamren, received overwhelming support for the network at Queer Prom, when several students between the age of 14 and 20 signed a list expressing interest in learning more about GSAs. The network, how-

ever, is open to students age 12 through 25. “We’re getting tons of feedback,” he said. “We’re finding out even middle schools want this.” The first summit was held at the Center on April 23. Here, parents and students spoke with Center volunteers and ACLU Utah Legal Director Darci Goddard. “She was hilarious and had tons of facts about situations that GSAs run into,” said Hamren. Hamren said the students themselves represented all age groups and asked several questions, including what to do if a district banned all non-curricular clubs and how to get a GSA off the ground. For example, Hamren said that students from Tooele High School had been attempting to start a GSA since January with little success. “The papers have been sitting on the superintendent’s desk since the beginning of the year,” he said. Many students also expressed interest in being on the network’s organizing committee, which makes planning events much easier, Hamren added. This summer, for example, the network plans on holding a one day leadership seminar for GSA officers. On May 15, members of the ACLU will also be traveling to St. George to train students there about forming GSAs. By the end of the month, Hamren hopes “to have called or visited the majority of schools in the state.” “So far many of the districts are being very supportive of this,” he said. He credits the interest to the ACLU’s efforts in teaching administrators that GSAs aren’t “gay clubs,” but places that “create a safe environment in school for all students.” “When [Goddard] got that point across to principals, they did a one-eighty,” he said. The Utah GSA network will also be partnering with PFLAG and the Inclusion Center. Q

A pril 29, 2010 | issue 153 | QSa lt L a k e | 15

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Q on the str t In contrast to the ❝ Fabby Awards, what

makes you “crabby” about Salt Lake City? Christine Johnson The fact that you can’t “hail” a cab because it’s considered prostitution. I was actually told that when I called a cab and said I was on the corner of Main and 4th. Stupid. Michael Merritt I know it’s been done, but it’s a subject near and dear to my liver, er, heart. Liquor laws. I wanna buy booze in Smiths!

le ers Lesbian Shoots Herself in the Foot Editor, H. Rachelle Graham wrote that “Salt Lake Valley residents have bongs on dressers while Happy Valley has shiny guns inside dresser drawers” (“Lipstick Lesbian: Salt Lake Valley vs. Happy Valley,” QSaltLake, April 15). Judging from her litany of comparisons, Utah County citizens who own firearms are ridiculously mistaken and too Mormon for her taste. While it is true that Utah County citizens buy more firearms than do Salt Lake County citizens according to state firearm-transfer statistics (almost 4,600 in Utah County and more than 4,300 in Salt Lake County, JanuaryMarch), the reasons they do so remain the same regardless of where they live and who

they are. The reasons for gay and transgender firearm owners should be obvious: We want to enjoy all our constitutionally protected rights and use the most effective means available to defend ourselves when needed. That’s something she should understand. After all, she wrote that “[f]reedom to be oneself is at risk.”

David Nelson

Stonewall Shooting Sports of Utah Salt Lake City

Waddoups Woops Editor, I was not surprised to read that Utah Senate President Michael Waddoups, R-Taylorsville, is using Utah’s share of the funds for the Ryan White Program and life-saving AIDS medications as a pawn in his game to show displeasure for the recently signed national health care reform law [“Republican Lawmakers Consider Axing Ryan

White HIV/AIDS Grant,” QSaltLake, April 15]. Rep Carol Spackman Moss, D-Holladay, stated that she is “struggling to understand” Waddoups’ “focus on this program and this group of people.” I can help her. It seems that Waddoups believes HIV/AIDS only affects homosexuals and drug users who probably deserve the disease as a consequence of their “lifestyle choices and things of that nature.” He goes on to argue that programs such as this are unnecessary because the new health care reform legislation prohibits denial of health insurance coverage for pre-existing conditions. If Waddoups actually bothered to understand the new law that he so vehemently opposes he’d know the ban on pre-existing conditions does not go into effect for adults until 2014. Until then, he should stop using some of Utah’s most needy citizens as a platform for his bigotry and ignorance.

Hunter Wolfe Salt Lake City

Something you read make you gleeful? Something piss you off? QSaltLake welcomes letters from our readers. Send your letter of under 300 words to:

letters@QSaltLake.com QSaltLake reserves the right to edit for length or libel or reject any letter. 16 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 153 | A pril 29, 2010

Dottie Dixon Sandy Reisgraff Fox 13 News always havin’ ta be out in the bad weather, right nexta the sidea the road, wind jist a blowin’, microphone all rumby soundin’, hair and makeup not lookin’ sa fresh. Worried about her safety! She’s on a road, she’s gonna git hit by a semi, a mud flap, a drunk legislator, er worse. Send somea those Fox 13 men out on them dangerous assignments once in awhile. Bryan Glick That half of the Hotel Monaco now looks directly into an office building.

Fred Swink How about the height of Q Towers? It deserves a bigger erection, no?

guest editorial An Open Letter to the Facebook Generation by Turner Bitton

ANY OF US YOUNGER MEMBERS OF

the gay community are just itching for an opportunity to spread our activist wings and become full fledged members of the flock. How do we do it? Many of our parents and families would be ashamed to see us marching down Main Street in our brightest colors, and so we do not march. We fear being ostracized for our being too open at school, work, or communities and so we sit and we wait for someone else to change our futures and change the way we are viewed. Why then, is progress so slow? We are told that we are too young to understand, that we don’t have a grasp of who we truly are yet, and in many ways we understand this as the truth. Until now we have quietly assumed a passive role and quietly waited for Equality Utah and other organizations to be our knights in shining armor. Today, our fear ends and it is time to spread our wings. In many ways, this letter is a rallying call to all of you who wait and watch on the sidelines betting on which side will ultimately score a touchdown in our favor. Today, we pick up the sword of the social networking site and we begin to cut a swathe through the tangled jungle of destiny, today we join the LGBTQ community and we become the power of the movement. Never doubt that you have an uncanny ability to storm the trenches of equality in Utah and change your life for the better. Never doubt that the small actions you take today can change the entire state of Utah. Join me in the creation of the future and help me move Utah forward. You may be asking yourself how you can make a difference. You may wonder why someone as “small” and “insignificant” as you can make a difference. Do not worry, because for the longest time, although you may not have had a direction, you had willpower, you’ve endured cruelty and torment. It is time you began the healing process. While marching in a pride parade may be good for your healing as an individual because marching in solidarity with the beautiful people of our community shows us that we are not alone, these parades will never change laws. While we compare our movement to civil rights, we are not the same. When blacks began their quest for rights

they faced many of the same problems we do: ignorance, discrimination, and an uneducated and fearful majority. However, their circumstances were different. While blacks had their skin color to unify them, we do not. When we march we are not visibly gay, because for us to be gay in the eyes of those watching we must create an image of what gay is. When I walk into a store, no one can look at me and say that I am gay, but were I black, my skin would reflect that I am black. Sexuality in itself is one of the most intimate aspects of all of our lives but it is not a visible aspect. While I cannot change the color of my skin and I will always be marked as such, in many ways I must dress the part of my sexuality. The very fact that our sexuality is an invisible quality makes the unification of our community a purely false one. The blacks had their skin to unify them, what do we have? We have Facebook. Our community has such an interesting dynamic to it that in many ways it is hard to characterize it. What is our community? Are we a rag-tag collection of misfits that all have strange fetishes? Or are we a collection of individuals who choose to express our sexuality in ways that society cannot yet understand? This is a trick question because currently we closely resemble the first, but in the future we will resemble the second. Currently we are a movement without a community, we move around looking for weaknesses in the status quo to exploit and attempt to change. The problem isn’t commitment or manpower, our problem is a lack of genuine leadership and unity. There are numerous “leaders” in the community now, but what do they promise? They lead us from rally to rally and always make sure to exploit our fear of further rejection. Rather than uniting us they seek to create a unity built on anger. Rather than creating a community of inclusion they seek to use our anger to attack institutions like the LDS Church that they believe have wronged us. If these people are leaders, then why have only three cities in our state passed laws protecting us from discrimination? If these people are leaders then why do minorities and LGBTQ+ feel that they do not belong to neither our community nor the rest of society? If we want to survive as a movement then it is time to

The blacks had their skin to unify them ... we have Facebook

create a community. Join with me today in creating this community. I recently started the Utah LGBTQ resource page on Facebook and over the course of two weeks we have gone from three fans to well over 800. In the next couple of weeks, we anticipate our fan base to grow by 2000 or more and as we begin to expand our coverage, the amount of change we can make is growing. You can find the Utah LGBTQ resource page at tinyurl.com/UtahLGBTQ. Through our page we are trying a different approach to change, we are laying down our picket signs and we are picking up our cell phones, we are abandoning our streamers and signing into facebook. Although the fight for rights remains the same, the ways we fight are now changing. Since our diversity is our greatest strength we must rely on more unconventional sources for unification. Whereas before we had to be seen on television, now we can communicate our ideas instantly online. I ask you to join with me in a new movement, harness the power inside of you and use your abilities to help me to create a new community. One that will be characterized by unity and inclusion, not by anger and misinformation. We must educate before we can change anything, and as a result I ask that you begin to join with me in using our greatest characterizing factor, our love for technology, to the creation of a new LGBTQ community, not only are we the “gay community” but we are the community that should not be afraid to talk about HIV/ AIDS and venereal diseases. We must come to embody the unity we so desperately seek. It will not be easy but below I have created a list of goals for my organization this year and ways that you can participate.

Goals of the Utah LGBTQ Resource page

Creation of a gay-straight alliance and necessary resources in every high school in the state, the only way to do this is to work together, when one school succeeds we must learn from their mistakes and transmit their successes to spread the success to the entire state. You can help me create a network of information on gay-friendly

teachers and staff, by creating a list of student organizations already at the school, and most of all by helping to educate all of the students around you about why these resources are necessary. Expansion of organizations like FAYME and Simply Social which are both organizations to create friendships and support groups for members of the LGBTQ community. Dramatic expansion in the numbers of PFLAG chapters around the state, currently there are three, Salt Lake, Ogden, and St. George. Support and citizen activism to show support for nondiscrimination ordinances statewide and creation of a network of individuals committed to advancing the causes of the LGBTQ community. Petitioning the Red Cross of Utah to end the practice of restricting LGBTQ individuals from donating blood due to their sexual partners, if they already test all blood for HIV and other diseases why does it matter who we choose to have sexual relations with. And many more... All of this can be accomplished when we work together, when we understand the diverse needs of our community members and work actively to ensure those needs are met. While we may not be on the Capitol steps with flags and charismatic protesting, we are changing things that affect every member of our community. I ask that you join me on Facebook and at all of the events around the state to start creating a community of inclusion. Join me by coming out to those you know and listening to their concerns, by assuring them that everything will be all right. Join me to spread information about our causes to our parents, friends, families and allies. Work with me to change the things we can, and work toward the things that are not yet time. Q Turner can be reached at 801-814-3660 o r a t f a c e b o o k . c o m / t u r n e r. c . b i t t o n , movingutahforward@live.com

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learn that I was not an international superstar when I was 19 years old. They are also surprised to discover that women do not weep whenever I enter a room, that the private details of my life have never been publicly dissected, and that my face has never appeared on a billboard. Aside from these small pesky differences, David Archuleta and I are practically the same person. First example: I live in Utah ... and David Archuleta lives in Utah. Second example: I was in the closet when I was 19 years old ... and David Archuleta ... um ... well, he had a walk-on cameo on Hannah Montana. Archuleta, the 19-year-old runner-up from the seventh season of American Idol, may or may not actually be gay, but that certainly doesn’t make him immune to controversy. He recently came under fire for a series of “controversial” tweets he posted to Twitter, after a number of gossip blogs claimed that the singer’s presence at a New York City gay club indicated that he himself was gay. His “controversial” tweets, in which he denies being gay, read as follows:

DavidArchie ...it sounds like something’s going around that I need to clear up” DavidArchie Mental note to self: always ask where before you go! Wasn’t my kind of place lol, and I had no clue! I guess you live and learn …” DavidArchie … Hope that clears things up! Been seeing some of the tweets. sheesh!” DavidArchie Can get crazy quick. NO worries all, I wouldn’t get into things like that intentionally haha …”

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Offensive!! Hurtful!! If we are to believe the melodramatic queens that rule the Twitterverse and the blogosphere, then David Archuleta is ‘freaking out’ over being seen in a gay club. Who does Archuleta think he is, a 19-year-old teenager raised in an overtly religious and conservative state? Soon after being accused of being gay, Archuleta was then, ironically, accused of being anti-gay. So he once more took to Twitter and responded accordingly:

DavidArchie I have friends who are gay, and they’re great people. Whether they’re gay or not doesn’t change how I think of them.”

On the surface, this is little more than petty celebrity gossip, overblown by the internet hamsters who have spun the internet’s hamster wheels into overtime. Nobody cares how a teenager spent his weekend, what his opinion is of gay people, or even whether he’s gay himself. This entire ‘controversy’ will probably blow over by tomorrow, and only an idiot would attempt to extract a larger social message from such a minor event. Here is the larger social message I extract from this minor event. I initially came out to a few close friends and family when I was 18, but didn’t start living openly as a gay man until I was 23. Like Archuleta, I grew up in a conservative Mormon family. I battled for a number of years with my sexual identity. When I was 17, a friend wrote me a letter in which he asked, point blank, if I was gay. I viciously denied the accusation, and ‘freaked out.’ I didn’t lie because I was homophobic or malicious — I lied because I didn’t know who I was. Coming out is a long and complicated process, as such a paradigm shift often requires a social and philosophical restructuring of one’s life. A number of people and websites attacked Archuleta for ‘freaking out’ when he was accused of being gay; yet how many of us actually marched out of the womb waving a rainbow flag? In fact, many gay men and women don’t come out until their late teens, early 20s, or (gasp!) even later in life. This entire argument is only hypothetical, because it’s entirely possible that Archuleta isn’t gay at all. Nevertheless, there are other, less famous teenagers who will deal with similar situations. For such closeted teenagers to react to accusations of being gay with violence is completely unacceptable; on the other hand, for closeted teenagers to react to accusations of being gay with “Wasn’t my kind of place ... I wouldn’t get into things like that intentionally” is not only understandable, but even acceptable. Closeted teenagers still figuring their sexual identity shouldn’t be forced out of the closet simply because anonymous people on the Internet are trying to earn extra points in the more-politically-correct-thanyou game. Let teenagers figure out who they are on their own timetable, starting with David Archuleta. After all, it’s not as if David Archuleta did something truly offensive, like a walkon cameo on Hannah Montana. Q

DavidArchie I have nothing against Ryan Shattuck is an author, freelance writer, synanyone, I’m sorry if that’s how it came dicated columnist, and revolutionary based in Salt across. I’m just not into the partying Lake City. His book, “Revolutions for Fun and Profit,” scene lol.” can be found at revolutionsforfunandprofit.com 1 8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 153 | A pril 29, 2010

qu r gnosis When God’s Opinion Hurts, Just Taser Me Vegan by Troy Williams

to ride the bus with a woman who would a public radio person is that you always wear a funeral veil. She would sometimes get fan mail. From born- turn around and yell, “Get your Taser off again Christians. I have received me!” She babbled incoherently about how several letters over the years from listen- a “Mormon mafia” had tied her up and ers who are concerned about the welfare Tasered her while she sat helpless in her of my soul — and, apparently, my sex life. own urine. I’m not making this up. Now, Which is fine. I’m often concerned about you might think she’s schizophrenic, but these things, too. Recently, Karen Miller just suspend your story. What if she’s tellfrom Sandy sent me a letter that opened ing the truth? What if there really is a perwith, “Mr. Williams, the most loving thing vy sex cult amongst Mormon priesthood I can do for anyone who is gay is to tell the leaders that tortures women? Isn’t that just truth. Your lifestyle is dangerous and can as plausible as her being crazy? kill you.” Now, get off the bus and walk into your Whoa. I was eager to read on. “I was like life. Try suspending beliefs about relationyou, insolent, arrogant, a hater of God, a ships. This is trickier. When people tell me liar, a fornicator, desiring things I didn’t they are getting divorced I always congrathave,” she continued, “I deserved God’s ulate them. Breaking up is hard enough. wrath and punishment, but instead He The last thing someone needs to hear is, rescued me.” “Oh, I’m so sorry for you.” They don’t need Wow. I am surprised that someone can my pity. The truth is, most people are usuknow so much about me just by listening ally better off once they are free of stagnant to the radio. Because Karen was actually and dead marriages. I was once emotionpretty spot-on. I am often insolent, occa- ally annihilated for six months after a sionally arrogant and I like to fornicate. break-up. It was the best thing that ever And it’s true that I am a hater of God. But happened to me. I became aware of some really only Jehovah. unhealthy mental habits. I made changes, I shouldn’t be surprised that since I pro- took up yoga and went in for a chemical duce an opinion talk show on KRCL, people peel. What was bad actually turned out would want to share their opinions with good. My end-of-the-world story about evme. For example, we have interviewed er-lasting love was wrong. And new love many pro-vegans and vegetarians over the came around again. years. Recently, we invited Lierre Keith, The story goes that we need someone else the author of The Vegetarian Myth, who to “complete us,” and so we pine longingly argues that a non-meat diet really isn’t for “the one.” And then we cry because that helpful for the environment. After gays can’t get married. Like that’s such the interview I received a deluge of angry a bad thing. But drop your story. Maybe vegan e-mails. Jackson wrote, “Why are we can be totally complete and whole as you letting a lying sociopath on the air?” single people. And maybe when two whole Dee Dee wrote, “Really. Really. I will nev- single people hook up they can then make er ever listen to KRCL again!” During the something awesome without all the messy show there was even a vegan boy lurking codependency. outside hoping to confront Keith (who was There are all kinds of stories about the not in the studio but joining us by phone). world that we could all do with questionThis concerned me because 1) it’s creepy ing. There are things I no longer believe to and 2) there is an infamous YouTube video be true. Like the story that the unregulated of Keith getting a pie in the face during a free market economy is good for America. lecture (dairy free, I’m sure). People, chill. Or Utahns should re-elect Jim Matheson so She only has an opinion. Don’t be so sensi- that Republicans don’t win his congressiotive. nal seat. Or that Jesus was a real person. I periodically like not to believe things. Often opinions hurt. The electric barbs It’s an interesting experiment. For one of God’s eternal love shocking us senseless. day, try not to believe your opinions about On the ground. Convulsing. Zapped into events or people. It’s not that hard for me. judgment and sexual dietary asceticism. Most everything I have ever believed has So ease the jolt. Drop the belief. Just for usually turned out to be rubbish, anyway. a bit. Because if my personal history has I spent two years in England telling strangtaught me anything, it’s that my opinions ers that Native Americans were descenare full of shit a lot of the time. And I supdents of Israelites (that was before DNA pose there is the remote possibility that testing was popular). So you see, I’m used Karen Miller’s story is right, and I am an to my beliefs being annihilated by facts. evil sodomite who will eventually be struck Now, you give it a try. Drop your opindown by her asshole god. But if it’s the same ions. Stop getting worked up. Suspend your asshole god that would command a secret awareness in that liminal space between cabal of Mormon elders to Taser a helpless ideas. Just see how long you can go. UTA rider, then who gives a fuck? Q This is fun to do on public transit. Withholding judgment can be tricky here. I used Troy Williams blogs at queergnosis.com A pril 29, 2010 | issue 153 | QSa lt L a k e | 19 NE OF THE FUN THINGS ABOUT BEING

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views lambda lore The Earth is a Mother by Ben Williams

APRIL 22, 1970, EARTH DAY MARKED the beginning of the modern ecological and environmental movement. Forty years ago, in rallies and celebrations across the nation, approximately 20 million Americans participated in events organized mostly by thousands of college and university students. They were protesting the deterioration of the environment from oil spills, factory and power plant pollution, raw sewage dumped in waterways, toxic dumps and pesticides created by capitalism run amok. From these students’ efforts, the loss of wilderness and the extinction of wildlife suddenly became a shared common value and concern among Americans. Earth Day was the brain child of GayN

lord Nelson, a U.S. senator from Wisconsin. Senator Nelson was an environmental activist who, after witnessing the horrific oil spill off the coast of Santa Barbara, Calif. in 1969, called for a national “teach-in.” Nelson hoped to demonstrate popular political support for an environmental agenda by engaging the youth movement to participate in an environmental event modeled on the highly effective Vietnam War teach-ins of the time. Nelson said in 1969, “I am convinced that all we need to do, to bring an overwhelming insistence of the new generation that we stem the tide of environmental disaster, is to present the facts clearly and dramatically. To marshal such an effort, I am proposing a national teach-in on the crisis of the environ-

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ment to be held next spring on every university campus across the nation. The crisis is so imminent in my opinion, that every university should set aside one day in the school year — the same day across the nation for the teach-in.” But the ecology movement had its beginnings eight years before the first Earth Day. It was rooted in the world famous book Silent Spring by Rachel Carson. Her book arrived on the American scene soon after the tranquilizer thalidomide was revealed to cause birth defects. Quickly, the best seller became a catalyst for the ecology movement. Carson started her career as a biologist in the U.S. Bureau of Fisheries, and became a full-time nature writer in the 1950s. In the latter part of the decade, she turned her attention to conservation and the environmental problems caused by synthetic pesticides. The result was Silent Spring, which spurred a reversal in national pesticide policy and a nationwide ban on DDT. Carson’s book gave rise to the grassroots environmental movement which inspired the creation of the Environmental Protection Agency. Carson died in 1964 and was posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by Jimmy Carter. She was also a lesbian. In Utah, the first Earth Day Rally was held at Sugar House Park. It was organized by University of Utah students Douglas Epperson, Jeff Fox and Stephen Holbrook, who were members of the United Front to End the War. These coordinators planned the event to protest the war in Vietnam as well as pollution. Utah’s event was called “Festival of Life,” and the Sugar House Park Authority allowed the use of a sound-amplifying system to broadcast speeches and music at the park — but only if dancing was not allowed. Keynote speakers at the 900-plus rally were University of Utah professor Dr. Billings Brown, head of the Black Brothers Organization Society Victor Gordon, and radio personality Michael Cavanaugh. Dr. Brown spoke about the pollution caused by such unregulated industries as Kennecott; recently arrested Gordon read anti-establishment poetry; and Cavanaugh called for a boycott of the Salt Palace for canceling a concert by the ’60s rock group, The Doors. Jim Morrison’s act was deemed unfit for Salt Lake audiences by the Salt Palace’s booking agents. After the Earth Day event Holbrook told reporters, “We’ve shown in this city that people can enjoy themselves without getting carried away. This type of gathering is like the old-time political rally, as opposed to the stodgy political conventions of the Democrats and the Republicans. We’ve proven that young people are responsible without being uptight and square.” Holbrook, a gay man, went on to become a Utah state representative in the mid-1970s and the founder of KRCL, an independent local Salt Lake radio station that gave a voice to Utah’s minorities, including gays and lesbians. Fox went on to be the director of the Crossroads Urban Center, which was the home of many gay organizations in the 1980s. His daughter Ivy Fox fought to establish a gay-straight alliance at East High in the mid 1990s. And the world keeps on a-spinning. Q

snaps n slaps SNAP Queer Prom Salt Lake City’s public library is one of the most striking buildings in the city, but it’s never looked better than on April 10, when hundreds of teenagers packed into its main hall for a night of friends, food, fun and, of course, dancing — all without having to worry about being thrown out or harassed for dancing with someone of the same sex, or wearing “gender inappropriate” clothing. It was also encouraging to see the community turn out to make this night a good experience, from the helpful chaperons and Utah Pride Center staff to the police providing event security. Although nobody on QSaltLake’s staff has been to prom in decades, we can safely say that ours weren’t nearly as fun or creative. We’re a little jealous.

SLAP Michael Waddoups It seems that Sarah Palin was right. Health care death panels really do exist. At least, the State Legislature seems interested in creating one. Last week, Senate President Michael Waddoups and the Executive Appropriations Committee voted to hold off on accepting federal funds for the Ryan White Program, which helps low-income Utahns with HIV/ AIDS purchase their anti-retroviral medications. Their reasoning? “Obamacare” will cover this, and having HIV/AIDS is due to “lifestyle choices,” anyway. The same “Obamacare” that will mandate insurance coverage for all adults regardless of pre-existing conditions in 2014. And the same disease that doesn’t discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation and which kills straight and gay individuals equally when they don’t have their medication. Shame on Waddoups and the committee for using the lives of some of the most vulnerable Utahns to rail at the federal government yet again. The Legislature’s never ending romance with sending messages about things they don’t like has likely cost our state more time and money than any program like Ryan White ever could.

who’s your da y? My Brother’s Keeper

As for my brothers and me, I hope we’re good examples for the boys. I hope my kids recognize how much I love my brothers, and more importantly, how much they love me — even when we’re teasing each other mercilessly. Especially when we’re teasing each other mercilessly! And until the time comes when my boys recognize that there’s nothing the other won’t do for him, I’ll continue to shock Gus with my amazing psychic powers. But I’m also working on helping Niko learn to roll with the punches

his big brother throws. I mean, after all, a few short years after John threw me out of his (yet again) stalled car, his far more patient wife, Jan, taught me to drive a stick. And even though the retelling of the steak sandwich story still elicits peals of belly laughter from every member of my family, I always have the last laugh: I’ve been a vegetarian for over 20 years. You don’t need to be Sigmund Freud to figure out what caused that! Q

by Christopher Katis

I’M PSYCHIC. HE FINDS MY ABILITY TO KNOW exactly when he’s about to torment his little brother disturbing. After all, I am able to put a stop to his shenanigans before they even occur. But it’s not ESP; it’s surviving four big brothers. Many of the more colorful antics I’d endured at the hands of my brothers have become family lore. Like the time my then-teenage brother Dan grew so impatient with my picky eating habits that he tried to force feed me a steak sandwich. Or when my brother John tried to teach me to drive a stick shift and ended up throwing me out of his car because I kept killing it on a slight hill in the middle of a particularly busy intersection. But in spite of steak sandwiches and popped clutches, my brothers served as the most compelling reasons for me to adopt Niko. No matter what logical and well-thoughtout arguments people raised against the idea, I always answered, “But he’s Gus’ brother.” There’s a special bond between brothers. I wanted Gus to experience that. Right now, there are more similarities between my boys than differences: they have the same laugh, the same rhythm in their speech, the same way of running. And when they were each learning to speak, they both referred to anything in the plural as being “two ones.” But as similar as they seem on the surface, my boys are also very different individuals. Just like my brothers and I. We may all have our dad’s voice and parrot his walk and gestures, but there’s plenty that separates us as well. And I suppose having a gay brother can accentuate those differences. But I also think it’s one of our strengths. Being with my brothers, I’ve always had a great sense of belonging. The fact I love another man, that I’m attracted to other men has never diminished that feeling. For them I may be a big homo, but I’m their big homo. Sure, when I’m out with my brothers, and they feel that weird, straight-boy need to express how attractive they find some woman passing by, I pretty much kill the conversation by adding my two cents about the guy she was with. What I find interesting, is that everyone seems to understand that brothers talk about these issues. Since my brother Dan’s divorce several years ago, our mom has quizzed me mercilessly about every woman he’s dated. All I’ve had to do is say, “I talked to Dan yesterday,” and she starts cross-examining me like Perry Mason about to make the real killer confess! Does he tell me about the women he’s dated? Yes. Am I about to divulge any information to our mother? Good lord, no! It’s that kind of trust and confidence that I’m hoping my kids find in each other. It goes beyond being discreet with our mom about our private lives. It’s about having someone who knows us so completely. Someone in whom we can confide everything, knowing full well that we may receive advice we don’t want to hear and didn’t necessarily ask for. But also understanding there’s nothing that can change the bond between us. Not even being gay. That’s why it’s so rewarding to see Gus and Niko starting to develop that fine balance of brotherhood. Yes, Gus teases Niko to the point of tears sometimes. Yes, Niko intentionally irritates his brother until Gus reaches the breaking point. Yes, they quarrel. But then again, when Gus gets home from school, the first person he hugs is Niko. US THINKS

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views cr p of the w k Bryan Fischer by D’Anne Witkowski

ITH SUPREME COURT JUSTICE JOHN

Stevens announcing his retirement, speculation about whom President Obama will nominate to replace him is running rampant. Some have even speculated that Obama’s nominee could be a homo. Sen. John Cornyn said, “As long as it doesn’t interfere with their job, it’s not a particular issue,” while Sen. Jeff Sessions even said he’d be open to a judge with “gay tendencies,” whatever that means. But Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association says, “Aw, hell no!” No candy-assed pansy judge is going to sit on the bench in his America. For one thing, in an April 15 post to the AFA website he says “a gay judge’s sexual preference will, without any question whatsoever, interfere with their job. It’s not possible for it to be otherwise.” How so? Well, for one thing, homos are sex criminals, says Fischer. “Sodomy is still a felony in the criminal code of about

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a dozen states,” he says. “We simply should not elevate to the highest court in the land people who are known for engaging in sexually abnormal behavior which would technically make them felons in a quarter of the states over which they will have jurisdiction.” But wait, what about Lawrence v. Texas? Doesn’t count in Fischer’s view. “The Lawrence decision of 2003, an egregious act of judicial activism, prohibited enforcement of these laws, but the fact remains that 25 percent of the states in the Union still regard it as criminal behavior,” he says. That’s right. Just because a law is struck down as unconstitutional doesn’t mean it isn’t still a crime. Racially mixed couples and integrated schools please take note. “With an active homosexual on the bench, Lady Justice will no longer even pretend to be blind,” Fischer continues. “She will be peeking out from under her

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blindfold to determine the sexual preference of those standing before her, then will let the fold slip back into place before ruling in every case to legitimize sexual deviancy.” First of all, I’d like to know how Lady Justice determines someone’s “sexual preference.” I’ve heard of gaydar, but “sexual preference” and “sexual orientation” aren’t the same thing. Homosexuality is an orientation. “I like to dress up like Spider-Man and rub my genitals on Chatroulette” is a sexual preference, and if Lady Justice can see that just by looking at someone, maybe she spends too much time on the Internet. Fischer also trots out the old anti-gay stand-by that homosexuals are automatically child molesters, which isn’t true. “For this reason alone, no homosexual should be elevated to the United States Supreme Court,” he says. Not that he doesn’t have other reasons. Fischer claims that gays are incapable of being impartial. “A homosexual judge

cannot help but give the home-field advantage to every legal team appearing before him who represents homosexual causes. It will be impossible for the visiting team, the team representing sexual normalcy and natural marriage, to get a fair shake in his courtroom,” he writes. “The scales of ‘justice’ would be tipped irrevocably toward the homosexual agenda and it would be moronic to think otherwise.” That’s right, morons. Gay judges will always rule in favor of gays. It’s called “samesex partiality.” It’s also true that straight judges will always rule in favor of straights. Only when straights do this it’s called “traditional partiality” and it’s what God intended. Q

‘With an active homosexual on the bench, Lady Justice will no longer even pretend to be blind’

D’Anne Witkowski has been gay for pay since 2003. She’s a freelance writer and poet (believe it!). When she’s not taking on the creeps of the world she reviews rock and roll shows in Detroit with her twin sister and teaches writing at the University of Michigan.

Utah Male Naturists A social group for gay, bisexual and gay-friendly straight men that holds a variety of nonsexual naked social and recreational events, including pool/hottub parties, cocktail parties, potlucks, movie nights, overnight campouts and cabin retreats throughout the year. Most events are held at private homes and typically range in size from 10 to 40 members. Guests of members are welcome at most events.

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ESBIANS DON’T DATE

— THEY U-HAUL, and gays don’t date — they haul ass. Well, that is except for my friend Nathan. He’s not living up to the stereotype, and I’m really disappointed. I mean, it’s only been two weeks since he met his new boyfriend, Seth, and they’re already in the process of moving in together. According to Nathan, it’s a super idea because it’ll save him money on rent, and well, Seth has a really big dick. “Yeah, well, so does Lady Gaga,” I state. “But you don’t see me shacking up with her for it.” Anxiety-ridden, Nathan instructs me to quit joking around and come over. “I need help decorating,” he says. “Seth unpacked all of his things, and some of it’s really icky.” For once, Nathan isn’t being dramatic. Upon my arrival, I find his word to be true. Dollar Store knickknacks and a large collection of Disney snow globes adorn the kitchen windowsill and the antique coffee table. Plus, Seth has a thing for Wonder Woman comic books, which are to remain in gold frames on the plaid couch until Seth has time to figure out the ‘wall plan.’ “My God, what am I going to do?” Nathan asks. “Burn the shit.” “Stop it. I love him!” “Hey, it’s your apartment, your rules. He’s just a guest until he comes up with his half of the rent, which I’m assuming he hasn’t paid yet.” “He’s looking for a job. He had some ... medical issues. He’ll pay next month.” “Medical issues?” I inquire. “Don’t ask me,” Nathan returns, trying to smother the comic books with a pillow. “He hasn’t said what kind.” His green eyes go alligator wide, like the suspense is thrilling. “But I found a bunch of pill bottles in the bathroom. He’s smart, pulled off the labels.” “Um, Nate?” I begin, patiently. “That’s not good. That’s bad.” “Whatever,” he sighs. Fluffing this and organizing that, he flutters around, setting the snow globes in different locations, as if that will help. “He’s just being mysterious, no big deal. No one said relationships are easy.” In return, that’s the exact line I cough up when he phones the next night in tears. “Stop it, I’m really scared,” Nathan says. “You need to come over and spend the night.” “And squeeze in between you, him, and

the Minnie Mouse snow globes? Hell to the no.” Taking a breath, Nathan begins mewling. “Please. He just woke up in the middle of a dead sleep and asked me who I was. Can you believe it? He looked so scared. He couldn’t remember my name. He sounded like a freaking hoot-owl. Who are you? Who are you? What’s wrong with him?” “Tell him you’re his landlord and the rent is due. That’ll snap him out of it.” “Damn it! I’m such an idiot!” he hollers before playing suck-and-blow a cigarette. In-and-out, in-and-out, he struggles for air. “Why would he say that? Who are you? Who are you?” And me, I have to chomp on my tongue from asking Nathan the very same thing. Just two weeks ago, he was single, smart, daring and going on a casual date. And now, he’s kneedeep in despair, ball and chained at the hip. Me, I wonder, how did this happen and why does it happen to so many of us? Why can’t we wait on moving in until after the honeymoon? Sure, it’s easy to fall for his ‘best,’ but why not wait to see him at his worst? What we fail to think about during the fever of a new relationship is making a fast choice not only affects us, but those that surround us as well. With the advent of Facebook and MySpace, I have a profile page full of boyfriends of friends of ex-boyfriends all in their finest, fair-weather poses, and I have no idea who half of these people are. If you move a new mate into your house — your life — without doing the math, you’re stuck with him, but everyone in your life is stuck with him too. Soon, he’ll friend request all your friends, and we’ll feel bad for de-friending him when he ‘forgets’ who you are. When Nathan had Seth ‘removed’ from his home for going off his meds, the rest of us cyber-saw the entire act through Facebook, where Seth posted ‘gee, look at me’ pictures of the moving van as if it were all foggy dream. “Wonder when I’ll find Mr. Wonder Woman-ful,” Seth wrote. And only then did I hear from Nathan, who happily phoned saying he’s moving on. “I found another guy!” he sang. “You’re going to love him!” “Already?” “No, you’d be so proud of me. I told him, I said you’re not moving into my house, no how, no way. I learned my lesson.” “Good.” “Yeah, so instead, we’re thinking about moving into his place.” Q

He sounded like a freaking hoot-owl. Who are you? Who are you?

A pril 29, 2010 | issue 153 | QSa lt L a k e | 25

2010 fabby awards 2010 FABBY FOOD

AWARDS

Our annual readers’ choice issue points out the best friendly places for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Utahns to shop and play. This year we had more responses than the last two years put together! Thanks to all who voted on one of the longest ballots you’ll ever encounter.

RESTAURANTS

Most Faaabulous Cupcakes Diva’s Cupcakes & Coffee Thanks to Sex & The City, cupcakes have been enjoying a renaissance among foodies with a sweet tooth, especially here in Utah. A number of worthy destinations on local “cupcake crawls” competed for your affections this year, but in the end Diva’s darling, miniature cupcakes won your hearts — and your stomachs. And what other bakery can boast a faaabulous garden? 2. MINI’S 3. NORMANDIE CAFE

Most Faabulous Value The Other Place This faaabulous Salt Lake City restaurant is a favorite hangout for many gay and transgender residents, who are probably there for the $5.95 Greek Breakfast, $6.35 hamburger or $11.95 chicken kabob — or not, seeing as these are just samples of their huge menu. Hearty for your stomach, easy on your wallet, and they have a wine and beer menu. 2. OFF TRAX 3. BLUE PLATE DINER

Most Faaabulous Place for After-Hours Cravings Off Trax It’s actually a little further from the TRAX stop then you’d think, but Off Trax is worth the trip on Fridays and Saturdays, when you need some food to counterbalance all the beers you’ve had at sister pub, Club Try-Angles. Also, our dear Ruby Ridge swoons every time we mention the pulled pork sandwich, aptly called the Michael Aaron, so you know it’s Fabby-worthy. 2. EVA 3. THE PIE PIZZERIA

Most Faaabulous New Americana Meditrina Small plate dining is a faaabulous new restaurant trend, and Meditrina’s tapas/appetizer-style plates make sure that you can pick at your friends’ plates without fear of having your hand slapped away. Partner/owners Jen and Amy are faab themselves. 2. METROPOLITAN

Most Faaabulous Breakfast Blue Plate Diner As if the retro “mom and pop restaurant” décor isn’t faaabulous enough, this award-winning diner boasts an authentic soda fountain and a down home menu that would impress the King of rock ‘n’ roll himself. Also, it’s one of the few restaurants of its kind that is vegetarian and vegan-friendly. 2. THE OTHER PLACE 3. OFF TRAX

Most Faaabulous Hangover Brunch Ruth’s Diner Most Faaabulous New Restaurant The Wild Grape At just one year old, The Wild Grape has a faaabulous (and faaabulously affordable) bistro menu that older restaurants should envy. Go on in and try its artful smoked portabello sandwich or its hearty mushroom soup. Even more faaabulous? They shop local and seasonal. 2. SAPA 3. RICE

26 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 153 | A pril 29, 2010

Eat it like you mean it! When it comes to sandwiches, our readers also voted like they meant it for Toasters, which offers dozens of tasty salads and sandwiches seven days a week. A well-known fact? Their turkey and avocado sandwich is not only faaabulous, but good for your heart! 2. Robin’s Nest 3. Caputo’s

Most Faaabulous Pizza Stoneground Forget Pizza Hut, Dominos! Stoneground offers a pizza selection that makes these chain restaurants look like grade school cafeterias — like the Moon Dog, Greek God and Chicken Pesto. Cozy and friendly, this restaurant proves that local really is always more faaabulous. 2. SETTEBELLO 3. SALT LAKE PIZZA & PASTA

Most Faaabulous Caterer Le Croissant

Most Faaabulous Mexican Food Red Iguana Obviously, Red Iguana has won just about every food award in existence, so why shouldn’t it retain its 2009 Fabby title? Salt Lake residents have been gobbling up the Cardenas family’s “killer Mexican food” for 40 years now. And if the lines that stretch around its two locations are any indication, Red Iguana will be doing booming business for another 40. Their molé is, indeed, holy. 2. RIO GRANDE CAFE 3. BLUE IGUANA

Most Faaabulous Sandwiches Toasters

You know what tastes great when you have a hangover? Biscuits and gravy, French toast and oatmeal. For 80 years Ruth’s Diner has been serving these and other faaabulous, traditional American breakfasts to diners who partied just a little too hard the night before. Brunch is served until 4 p.m., giving you a little extra time to sleep in before slapping on your sunglasses and making the drive up Emigration Canyon Road. 2. Squatter’s 3. The Dodo

Three words: jalapeño popper dip. Three more words: towers of fruit. Four words: any event you want. Book them for your next event with these friendly, professional and all-around faaabulous folks, and make sure you get the dip and plenty of desserts. You’re welcome. 2. CUISINE UNLIMTED 3. GOOD DAY CATERING

NIGHTLIFE Most Faaabulous Cheap Drinks Club Try-Angles Is Gene cuckoo in the cabesa for having the cheapest drink prices and winning Fabby awards for it? Probably, but recently he did up the prices by 50 cents ... money grubber! Now how are we supposed to buy condoms out of the vending machines? 2. CLUB EDGE 3. CLUB JAM

Most Faaabulous Place to Get Your Groove On Club Püre The only place to really shake your groove thang is at Püre, gay Friday nights, at the Rail Event Center. From Nova Starr’s pussy review and Fetish Balls to guest appearances by hot models and actors like Ryan Berry and Eric Turner, Püre is the place to be to

sweat in places you never thought possible. 2. CLUB JAM 2. CLUB TRY-ANGLES

Most Faaabulous Place to Hook Up Club JAM With it’s intimate setting and strong drinks, JAM is simply fabulous to meet your next soul mate ... or if nothing else, Michael Aaron lives a half-block away and we all know how easy he is, right? Anyone for nekkid hot tubbing? 2. CLUB TRY-ANGLES 3. CLUB PÜRE

Most Faaabulous Place to Croon Club JAM Only as long as Michael Aaron is stuck at the Q Towers putting out the next issue. Seriously, have you ever heard him sing ... he’s as painful to listen to as David Caruso is to watch on CSI: Miami. 2. THE TAVERNACLE 3. PAPER MOON

Most Faaabulous New Bar/Club Club JAM They are actually “the most fabulous new(ish) bar/club” since they had originally opened in 2008, but it was such a fiasco with the polygamists screaming bloody murder about the gays ruining their quiet, dump yard of a neighborhood, where their inbred children play in dumpsters. Oh, and don’t forget about the State of Utah and its ridiculous liqour laws. We love you JAM for getting through it all and still have such pretty hair. 2. CLUB PÜRE 3. CLUB EDGE

Most Faaabulous Friday Nights Club Püre Friday night is Püre fun. Friday night is Püre evolution ... like dry cereals. Friday night has brought sexy back with Pure definition. 2. CLUB TRY-ANGLES 3. CLUB JAM

From their monthly hottie-hot Underwear Party and super sexy Uniform Night to their scrumptous bartenders/barbacks: Jimmy, David, Van, Colt and of course Chihuahua ... ruff!, Saturdays at Club Try-Angles is hangout heaven with a diverse, friendly crowd. Plus you can always find Gene and Ms. Ross stooped at the end of the bar, squawking like cockatoos. 2. PAPER MOON 3. CLUB JAM

Most Faaabulous Afternoon Barflies Club Try-Angles At 1:57 p.m. every day Club Try-Angles gets kickin’ with Miss Ross, and how could your day possibly start any better! 2. THE TRAPP 3. PAPER MOON

Located in downtown Salt Lake, The Tavernacle is certainly one of the most welcoming “straight” clubs. Owners Scott Alexander and Mason Simmons provide oodles of fun with the Powerball Karaoke on Sundays and Tuesdays — two of their most gaypopulated nights. Part of that reason is probably because of Ben, the beguiling, beauteous bartender. 2. W LOUNGE 3. PIPER DOWN

Most Faaabulous Place to Find Boys in Make-up Cyber Slut Bingo What’s up with drag queens and bingo? In theory that’s about as cohesive as polyurethane and devil’s food. But for some reason when they hear “O-69” they come screaming out of the dressing rooms at JCPenney. Anyhoo, get to know Lucky Charms, Chevy Suburban, Ida Slapter and the rest of the campy gals every month during this most fabulous event. 2. THIRD FRIDAY BINGO 3. PAPER MOON

ARTS & CULTURE

Most Faaabulous New Performance Arts Co. Dark Horse Company Theatre Founded in 2009 by four very talented local actors, Dark Horse Company Theatre obviously took the performance arts by storm — with sell-out shows of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas and with Reefer Madness, one of the most raucous, energetic and hilarious musicals in recent history. We at Q are biting to the quick to learn what they’re going to do next. 2. THE SUGAR SPACE 3. MEAT & POTATO

Most Faaabulous Local Theatre Co. Plan-B Theatre While celebrating everything Matthew Ivan Bennett — from the world premieres of Block 8 and Di Esperienza to returning favorites And The Banned Slammed On and Radio Hour, Plan-B once again wins our coveted Fabby award. How does Jerry Rapier and his small staff (uh, sorry Jerry!) do it? We guess it’s just one of those deep secrets from behind the curtain ... or it could be that Matthew Ivan Bennett is prime material for a nude figure drawing class. No wonder Michael Aaron’s recently registered for one. 2. SALT LAKE ACTING CO. 3. PIONEER THEATRE

Most Faaabulous Dance Company Ballet West Originally named the Utah Civic Ballet and formed in 1963, Ballet West really is “Utah’s premiere ballet.” Now, it could be based solely on the popularity of the ballet’s annual performances of The Nutcracker and Swan Lake that they’ve garnered a Fabby, but it could also be attributed to Artistic Director Adam Sklute’s introduction of renowned contemporary choreographers such as Ulysses Dove, Jiri Kylianand Stanton Welch while expanding the company’s Balanchine and Smuin repertoire. Or it could simply be the men in tights! 2. RIRIE-WOODBURY 3. ODYSSEY

at i o n D Registr

Most Faaabulous Play/Musical of 2009 Wicked — Broadway in Utah

Last Spring the yellow brick road found its way to Utah, well sort of. Wicked is the prequel to The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, relating the Wicked Witch of the West and The Good Witch of the North. Alongside its Tony awards, the musical now has a prestigious Fabby ... it can’t do any better than that. 2. SATURDAY’S VOYEUR — SLAC 3. DI ESPERIENZA — PLAN-B

Most Faaabulous Saturday Nights Club Try-Angles

Most Faaabulous Hetero Hang Out The Tavernacle

e eadlin

2010 y a M 1 3

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2010 fabby awards SHOPPING

Most Faaabulous Special Engagement Show of 2009 The Passion of Sister Dottie S. Dixon

So what can I say about this show other then it was a sure winner. It received more Fabby votes than I have fingers and toes (so therefore I can’t give you an exact number). Sister Dottie has become a celebrity icon to many in Utah since the premiere of Passion, and the consensus is she will only become more influential as an LDSLGBTQHA Apostle. 2. AND THE BANNED SLAMMED ON — PLAN-B 3. RADIO HOUR: ALICE — PLAN-B

Most Faaabulous Dance Program of 2009 Thriller — Odyssey Dance Co. For the last 12 years Odyssey has been shocking, mocking and rocking with its annual “Halloween Spectacular.” Bringing to life classic characters like Jason of Friday the 13th and Frankenstein to more contemporary and original roles like Mr. Roboto and The Lost Boys, the dance troupe always plays it up with artistic triumph. 2. EQUILIBRIUM — RIRIE-WOODBURY 3. SHUT UP & DANCE — ODYSSEY

Most Faaabulous Visual Stimulation Utah Museum of Fine Arts Located on the University of Utah campus, this 74,000 square foot gallery has a collection that now encompasses 5000 years of art. That’s a bounty of sculptures, artifacts, paintings, etc. They also offer lectures, films and guided tours, as well as a beautiful space for same-sex commitment ceremonies. Their progressiveness alone yields them a Fabby! 2. SALT LAKE ART CENTER 3. PHILLIPS GALLERY

Most Faaabulous Most Faaabulous Spa Furnishings A New Day Spa Retrospect Water & Light This inviting, family-run (and Family-

Most Faaabulous Deals Our Store Whether you’re a voracious reader seeking paperbacks, an interior decorator dying to find the perfect table, or a Matron of Mayhem looking for that perfect 1972 fuchsia sequined evening gown and matching pumps, Our Store Your Thrift Alternative can help you out. And the Most Faaabulous part? All the proceeds go to the People With AIDS Coalition’s programs and services. 2. PIB’S EXCHANGE 3. UPTOWN CHEAPSKATE

Best High-End Clothing Spark/Cockers Hehe. Cock. Sorry, we just can’t get over the name of this faaabulous high-end store that specializes in jeans, swimsuits and sexy underwear for our community’s male-identified members. Also, the models strutting their stuff in said sexy trunks for our annual swimsuit issue look pretty faaabulous, too. Notice how we didn’t make another obvious joke because we’re mature like that. 2. BASTILLE 3. NAME DROPPERS

Most Faaabulous Naughty Store Cahoots Cards & Gifts And speaking of dirty jokes, where else can you find cards with any number of off-color jokes than Cahoots Card & Gifts? And if you aren’t looking for a card that would make your grandmother blush, don’t forget to check out the array of naughty items from lingerie to adult toys. No wonder they win a Fabby almost every year! 2. MISCHIEVOUS 3. BLUE BOUTIQUE

Most Faaabulous Elephant Gifts Cahoots Cards & Gifts And, of course, Cahoots is also a faaabulous place for those fun gag gift items, whether or not you want to scandalize the recipient. 2. CABIN FEVER 3. MISCHIEVOUS

28 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 153 | A pril 29, 2010

Right about now you’re probably asking yourselves, “Um, do retro lighting and plumbing fixtures actually work?” The answer, as Retrospect’s employees will tell you, is yes — sometimes even better than the cheap, new fangled things that seem to need replacing every few years. If you’re looking to freshen up your historic home, or to add a touch of retro class to a new home, this is the Most Faaabulous place in the state to go. 2. CABIN FEVER 3. CAHOOTS

Most Faaabulous Blooms Twigs Flower Co. Once again, Raymond King of Twigs takes home a Fabby for his sumptuous roses and breathtaking arrangements — which often include gerbera daisies so large and bright they might as well come with a miniature solar system. Remember, there are only nine more shopping days ‘til Mother’s Day! 2. FLOWER PATCH 3. CELESTIAL FLORAL SALON

friendly) spa on Highland Drive is the best place to go to get waxed, plucked, rubbed, wrapped, cut, scrubbed and painted. And if you’re not too tired after that, be sure to indulge in one of their yoga classes, or get your aura read. If you are too tired, well, they also offer energy and Reiki sessions. The only improvement we can think of would be a champagne fountain in every room — which owner Sherry, who is always adding onto her services, will now probably install by 2011. 2. A KURA DOOR 3. MEN’S GROOMING LOUNGE

Most Faaabulous Rub Down Pride Massage Sure, the Pride in the name refers to the lion logo, but don’t be fooled. This massage studio is as gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender-friendly as you can get, and its therapists are as friendly and warm as its inviting studio. Damn it. Now all we can think about is getting our kinky bodies ... well, unkinked. 2. KEVIN GUZIK 3. MASSAGE BODYWORK

Most Faaabulous Books King’s English Bookshop With so many faaabulous independent bookstores in the state, it’s always hard for our readers to pick a winner. But somehow you always manage. This year’s Fabby goes to 1500 East’s King’s English, which has championed book clubs, local authors and the art of reading for 33 years.! 2. SAM WELLER’S 3. KEN SANDERS RARE BOOKS

SERVICES Most Faaabulous Coifer Jesse Dolcé Faaabulous Jesse has been a supporter of QSaltLake for years now, so we’re always glad when readers give his stylish haircuts the thumbs — or scissors — up. And readers take note along with making your hair shorter, longer, stronger and sleeker, Jesse also runs a full-service salon. 2. CLAUDIO BELLO 3. RON ZABRISKIE

Most Faaabulous Shutterbug David Daniels Nearly all of QSaltLake’s faaabulous photographers made a strong showing in this category. Sadly, in the end only one princess can be crowned. And who better than David Daniels, whose lifestyle photographs capture their subjects’ personalities with such panache. Not to mention such a puckish sense of humor. One of the latest photos on his website is a spoof, featuring a law graduate representing a cannibal with a penchant for wheelchair users. Ugh. What’s next, David? The QSaltLake zombie apocalypse? Don’t answer that. 2. DAVID NEWKIRK 3. LAURIE KAUFMAN

Most Faaabulous Realtor Babs DeLay This award hasn’t gone to Babs in a long, long time. We have no idea why. Sure, there are a lot of faaabulous gay and lesbian real estate agents out there, but Babs was doing it long before it was cool — and when coming out could seriously hurt your business. Anyway, we’re glad you picked her at last, because seriously, someone who wears faaabulous glasses like that needs some kind of Fabby recognition. 2. AARON BUTLER 3. SCOTT ALEXANDER

Most Faaabulous Place to be Punched and Inked KOI Piercing Studio Once again, KOI Piercing Studio dominates this category, thanks to its artists’ attention to detail — which also includes teaching you how to keep that belly ring from becoming a crusty mess requiring hospitalization. Oh, and their goldfish logo? One of the Most Faaabulous storefront designs we’ve ever seen. 2. IRIS PIERCING 3. SUSIE M’S

Most Faaabulous Attorney Doug Fadel As many same-sex couples in Utah know, having the paperwork to protect your assets as a couple is a sad reality of living in most U.S. states today. But happily, there are faaabulous attorneys like Doug Fadel who can help you with all the confusing bits of estate planning, including power of attorney documents and living wills. Helping clients of all sexual orientations find financial security Fadel is pretty damn faaabulous to us. 2. LAUREN BARROS 3. TIM HOUPT

Most Faaabulous Bow Job for Fido The Dog Show Grooming & Kennels Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people love their pets and love to spoil them. Which is kind of why we have this category — and why readers always have a number of faaabulous recommendations for the honor. This year’s top dog is The Dog Show, whose stylists will trim your best friend’s nails and coif his or her fur, and even furminate your pet ... I think that’s a good thing ... or maybe it means they’ll make your dog or cat look like Ruby Ridge. 2. CAMP BOW WOW 3. DOGS R US

GROUPS

Most Faaabulous Social Group Utah Bear Alliance

Most Faaabulous Political Group Equality Utah

Who says that being gay is all about being meterosexual? Certainly not the Utah Bears, who celebrate being big, hairy and ... well, it’s hard to define a bear sometimes, but you get the idea. But one thing that is for sure, the Utah Bears have a hell of a good time at the annual Bear Run and the Mr. Utah Bear and Cub contest. If you’re a guy who identifies as, or who appreciates, bears, cubs and otters, scamper over to their website and join up. (We thought that shrieking faaabulous in this entry might be a little to femme for bears, so we didn’t.) 2. UTAH MALE NATURISTS 3. SWERVE

So, we’re thinking of just renaming this award the Equality Utah is Faaabulous Fabby. And it seems that you’re all for this, gentle readers. But given their staff’s incredible efforts in recent years to extend basic protections for queer Utahns across the state, is it any wonder why they clean up every year? One other possibility, now that Equality Utah is staffed almost completely by foxy ladies, the lesbians are all stuffing the ballot box. 2. UTAH PRIDE CENTER 3. UTAH AIDS FOUNDATION

Most Faaabulous Shrinks Pride Counseling Since Salt Lake City has enough gay and transgender-friendly therapists to warrant an LGBTQ-Affirmative Therapists Guild, you’d think our readers would fight over this category like a dysfunctional family at Thanksgiving Dinner. But time and time again, they’ve declared Pride Counseling to be the Most Faaabulous group of therapists in the state. We wonder if the rainbow logo, name and services specifically geared toward gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender clients has something to do with it. Probably. 2. ASSOCIATED COUNSELING 3. DON AUSTIN

Most Faaabulous Insurance Agent Jon Jepsen Most people probably think insurance agents are a stuffy lot, and that it’s difficult to find witty things to say about them. Most people are right. But thankfully, Jon Jepsen is so faaabulous that he makes home, auto and professional liability insurance look downright sexy (it doesn’t hurt that he’s also really hot, by the way). But what makes Jepsen extra sexy is his years of service to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender-related businesses, and his service as the commissioner of Salt Lake City’s Human Rights Commission. Protections for queer tenants and employees? Now that’s faaabulous and sexy! 2. STEVEN FISHER 3. JANET SILOTTI

6th Anniversary Party and Awards Ceremony Wednesday, May 5 from 6pm – 8pm Mountainland Design – 2345 South Main St Dress: Business casual Presenting food from restaurants participating in Dining Diversity, May 7 – 23 diningdiversity.com Fabby post party at Vertical Diner 2280 South West Temple

Continued on next page

2010 fabby awards Most Faaabulous Religious Group Affirmation

Most Faaabulous Radio Station X96

In a surprising turn, the winner of this year’s Fabby wasn’t a Unitarian Church but a support group for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender members and former members of the LDS Church, as well as their friends and family. It’s about time this faaabulous group got some recognition, too, seeing as it’s not exactly easy to be a queer Mormon — especially in these post-Proposition 8 times. Keep wending your way with joy, queer Saints, and may all soon be well. 2. RECONCILIATION 3. FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH

Most Faaabulous Balls Queer Utah Aquatic Club

OK, OK. So water polo is really the only aquatic sport that uses a ball. But we wanted to get your attention for this. QUAC is faaabulous not only because it’s Utah’s oldest queer-friendly sports group, and not only because its members have won their (swimmers body) weight in medals at championship games. It’s faaabulous because it welcomes swimmers of all body types, ages and experience levels. And, well, because where else are you going to see dozens of people parading around in Speedos and tank suits during the Utah Pride Parade? 2. MOUNTAIN WEST FLAG FOOTBAL LEAGUE & GOOD TIMES BOWLING 3. PRIDE COMMUNITY SOFTBALL LEAGUE

PEOPLE Most Faaabulous Bartender Shane Dexter — Club Try-Angles This 32-year-old tall glass of Perrier water likes running, jumping and skipping ... you use what you have I guess. From observation he also seems to like vending machine meals, air mattresses, ripped jeans and losing at pool. Maybe he’s only a tall glass of tap water! Actually he’s one of the most personable bartenders around, with a great sense of humor and an adorable smile. If you haven’t had the pleasure, Shane mixes and mingles Friday-Monday afternoons and Tuesday evenings at Club Try-Angles ...

OTHER

he’s simply faaabulous! 2. BEN — THE TAVERNACLE 3. JOSH — CLUB JAM

Most Faaabulous Local Politician Christine Johnson

Most Faaabulous Local Actor/Actress Charles Lynn Frost — Sister Dottie S. Dixon Sister Dottie is a personae created by Charles Lynn Frost. His uncanny ability to channel his mother is how Sister Dottie came to be. She’s the patriarch of fictional Mormonism, aiming to make her personae a truth, a reality, a blessing for all Utahns. And that is why Frost is fabulous. 2. ALEXIS BAIGUE 3. JAY PERRY

Our Most Faaabulous politician for 2010 will, sadly, not be eligible for the award in 2011. Earlier this year, Christine Johnson announced that she’s leaving the State House of Representatives, thereby ending a career in which she’s fought outspokenly at every turn for Utah’s gay and transgender community. At times, her stances have been controversial, even and especially within the community itself, but that’s what we love about her. Congratulations, Chris! 2. REP. JACKIE BISKUPSKI 3. STAN PENFOLD

It’s been nine months since Brandie Balken came on board as Equality Utah’s interim and then permanent Executive Director. And in that time, she’s lead the organization into a fearless state-wide push for employment and housing protections for all people, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. Oh, and she’s also an out and proud lesbian leader, which our community can always use more of. How can you get more faaabulous? 2. VALERIE LARABEE — UTAH PRIDE CENTER 3. BILLY DAY — UTAH BEAR ALLIANCE

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For years, X96 has been reader favorite for its local and indie focus, its programs like Radio From Hell and Todd Nuke ’Em, and for being a radio station that actually realizes the 21st century has arrived. We like listening to Todd and Corey’s iMixes and the Workers’ Union program, whose socialist-inspired graphics have probably terrified more than a few Tea Partiers. Be sure to join the program, by the way, for chances to win tickets to any number of faaabulous concerts. 2. KRCL 3. KCPW

Most Faaabulous Local News KUTV In our always hotly-contested category, KUTV Channel 2 snags first place this year for its news programs, which blend hard-hitting reporting with just the right amount of friendliness and humor, especially during its popular morning show where it’s not unusual to find anchors acting as goofy as the sleep-deprived viewers who are watching at 5 a.m. Anyway, it didn’t win because Christina Flores and Casey Scott are also two of the sexiest reporters on any beat. Because that would just be superficial. 2. FOX 3. KSL

Most Faaabulous Leader Brandie Balken Most Faaabulous Ally Mayor Ralph Becker It seems like Salt Lake City’s mayor does something faaabulous for his gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender residents every year. Of course, we’re thinking of his vocal support for the city’s shiny new ordinances which make discriminating against queer tenants and employees illegal. And now that close to a dozen cities and counties are working on identical pieces of legislation, we can say that he’s doing a faaabulous job for all of Utah as well. Now can the ass who stole his bike please return it? 2. MAYOR PETER CORROON 3. SEN. BEN MCADAMS

just do a film about a faaabulous Utah gay and lesbian newspaper ... hey, it never hurts to dream big, right? 2. KISS HEARD AROUND THE WORLD 3. HOMELESS YOUTH PRIDE WALK

QSALTLAKE Most Faaabulous Story of 2009 8: The Mormon Proposition Utah — and the nation — just could not get enough of this documentary about the LDS Church’s role in passing California’s Proposition 8, and the toll their actions took on queer people in and outside of Utah. Neither could the Sundance Film Festival, which screened it seven times, and neither could our readers — who, like us, are anxiously awaiting its distribution. Now if filmmaker Reed Cowan would

Most Faaabulous Columnist Ruby Ridge Our Faaabulous drag queen unseats our faaabulous Troy Williams this year for our in-house award, proving once again that you love her outspoken, politically incorrect rants and raves — and her five-inch thick mascara. We love you, Ruby and your little dogs, too! 2. BEN WILLIAMS 3. JOSELLE VANDERHOOFT

Most Faaabulous Q Event Q Lagoon Day Because nothing is more faaabulously fun than riding the Colossus, watching campy musical shows and wearing red shirts to tell all of Farmington “We’re Here, We’re Queer, and We Are NOT Going to Upchuck on the Tilt-A-Whirl.” 2. BIG GAY FUN BUS 3. ANNUAL FABBY AWARDS CEREMONY

There you have it — well, all we had room to print in this issue. Look for more on our website.

CRABBY AWARDS Some say that gay men might, perhaps, at times be a bit bitchy. In celebration of that, editor Michael Aaron announces a new series of awards this year — the Crabbys

Snail’s Pace Award Utah Transit Authority

When Not to Buy Local Utah Gas Companies

The average person walks about 3.5 miles per hour. To take a bus from West Capitol Hill to West Valley takes an hour and a half. That doesn’t include the 20 minutes it takes the RideUTA.com web site to tell you how to get there. So, if it could be walked in 3 hours, should UTA be proud of the fact the bus can get you ... gasp ... twice as fast as walking? An average bicyclist can get there in an hour. To take the bus and TRAX from West Capitol Hill to the DMV to register your car takes an hour and a half, and you end up walking nearly a mile of the trip. No wonder people drive their cars illegally when licenses expire.

As gas prices speed past the threedollar mark, we will likely see a gas company representative get on the television news and say that our prices fluctuate above and below the national average (which, by the way, are at $2.85 this week). But if you look at the AAA Fuel Gauge Report that charts the national average prices to Utah’s, you’ll notice that our costs barely nudge below the national average once in a blue moon, then soar over them the rest of the time. Utah produces more than enough gasoline within our borders to fuel our state’s needs. Do we need to start trucking it in so we can have lower prices ourselves?

Most in Need of a Gay Touch City Creek Center Food Court

The Taste of Red Iguana looks particularly spectacular with supersized monitors as menu boards, about 900 people scurrying behind the counter preparing your food, and some of the best Mexican-style food in the valley. I was surprised to see no mole on the menu. But, unfortunately, the court’s eating area is no more inspired than that of a prison cafeteria. Long gray tables on a gray floor surrounded by gray walls. It must be true that no homos are involved in the plans for City Creek.

The City Creek Center’s food court was recently opened with a mix of national chains and local favorites.

A pril 29, 2010 | issue 153 | QSa lt L a k e | 3 1

arts & entertainment gay agenda

OMG, LMAO at This Agenda by Tony Hobday

My friend Ruby had suffered a concussion during the first Utah Blitz football game. For several days after, she had been walking around in a daze like she’d just taken a bong hit, her clothes on backwards and she kept trying to stick her tongue down my throat. It was scary ... I mean her concussion. Suffice it to say, she’d rubbed off on me. I had dived into second base during our first softball game like I was Shamu on a bong hit, sliced my eye open on the base and had road-rash knees like that of the Pope’s altar boys’. Perhaps Ruby and I should try playing Jacks as a sport.

RELIENT K See May 10

THURSDAY — Shortly after the death of a gay dancer, his brother and friends embark on a journey, in playwright Lanford Wilson’s BURN THIS, to make sense of their lives, and to reconsider their own identities and relationships. Funny, witty and heartbreaking, it touches on timeless themes of loss, love, lust and life, with a message: Live life on fire ... it burrrnns! 8pm, currently running through May 8, Sugar Space, 616 E. Wilmington Ave. Tickets $10–13, utahtheatreartists.com.

FRIDAY — The University of Utah’s Queer Student Union hosts MASQUERADE, “a night of dancing and disguise.” You might be hiding your face behind a mask, but go as flamboyantly as you want because dammit, we’re here, we’re queer and we have no fear! 7–10pm, Gallivan Center, 239 S. Main St. Suggested $5 donation, for more info e-mail utahqsu@gmail.com. Q Are you a butch girl (like my friend Chelle, she used to drive semi trucks with one eye closed ... well, actually only because she was always tipsy, LMAO)? If you are butch then Paper Moon wants you to be the next Lipstick Lesbo winner at the 16th annual DYKES IN DRAG CONTEST. Contestants are asked to arrive at 8:30pm to sign up ... go Chelle! [Editors note: We at QSaltLake do not encourage or tolerate driving while intoxicated.] 9:30pm, Paper Moon, 3737 S. State St. Cover $6, 801-713-0678.

SATURDAY — Plan-B Theatre Company’s AND THE BANNED SLAMMED ON is “Utah’s only fundraiser-featuring-five-10-minute-plays-created-in24-hours-inspired-by-incidents-of-Utahcensorship.” OMG! That leaves me as breathless as Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis ... or even licking a large swirl lollipop. Anyhoo, celebrate the First Amendment with this year’s Fabby award winning Arts organization. 8pm, Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $25–40, 801355-ARTS or arttix.org. Q the Human Rights Education Center aims to raise awareness of school violence and the effects of bullying with a fundraising production of BANG BANG YOU’RE DEAD. Inspired by real life incidents of school violence, the play focuses on the aftermath of a killing spree by a teenage boy who murders his parents and five classmates. When the boy is haunted by the spirits of his victims, and

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through flashbacks, he “begins to look at the deceased with new respect.” 6:30pm, Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Suggested donation $50, 801-521-4283 or hrecutah.org. Q Artists Jeannie Hatch and Julie Lucus, converge works, in THE ART OF OBSESSION exhibit, through abstract and avant-garde interpretations of psychological myth and drama in contemporary life. Hatch’s free-hand paintings are carefully lined on the canvas as if it were the only one possible-in a fashion she herself admits is reverently ritualistic. Lucus’ sculptures are anthropomorphic compositions and three-dimensional mosaics are characteristically mischievous, confronting and beautifully grotesque. 10am–6pm, Tues.-Sat. through May 31, The Sugarhouse Gallery, 2160 S. Highland Dr. Free, 801-486-4893. An artists reception will be held 6–10pm, May 21, during the gallery stroll.

THURSDAY — Wasatch Theatre Company presents Sarah Ruhl’s DEAD MAN’S CELL PHONE, a comedy ... yes, a comedy, about how we memorialize the dead — and how that remembering changes us. After a woman answers the cell phone of a dead stranger, she finds herself helping his loved ones: wife, mother, mistress and brother, deal with their loss in an unorthodox way. 8pm, through May 22, Studio Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $15, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org. After the Saturday evening performances guests are invited to An After Hours Cabaret.

FRIDAY — The 2010 five-time American Music Award-winning duo SUGARLAND comes to Salt Lake City for an evening of country shit-kicking, bull-riding, cowpie-throwing music

hoedowns. Five dollars a cowpie or three for $10. LMAO! I hope they sing the hit “All I Want to Do,” it gets me hot-andbothered ... well, so do paper cuts, it’s weird! Danny Gokey and Julianne Hough open. 7:30pm, The E Center, 3200 S. Decker Lake Dr. Tickets $22–52.50, 801-988-8888 or theecenter.com.

SUNDAY — Do you know what’s artsy and entertaining to do today? Making macaroni necklaces, fashion makeovers or sewing curtains ... do at least one with you mother because dammit, it’s MOTHER’S DAY. Show her you love her without rolling your eyes or “borrowing” her credit card. OMG! I feel like Oprah.

MONDAY — Mixing alternative rock, Christian rock and power pop, with inflections of ska, punk and emo, and with 12 kinda nerdy, kinda hot, kinda sagger-like musicians on stage in one evening, the PARAMORE, RELIENT K, FUN concert should be a kick-ass show. Can I say kick-ass and not offend Christian rockers? Geez, religious proprieties are fucking difficult ... oh shit! I’ll just shut up now. 7pm, The E Center, 3200 S. Decker Lake Dr. Tickets $25–29.50, 801-988-8888 or theecenter.com.

TUESDAY — The Grand Theatre presents BINGO, “a splashy, zippy, outrageously funny new musical.” Meet Vern, Honey and Patsy, three pals who have driven through a terrible storm in the name of their weekly obsession ... OMG! They love The Vampire Diaries as much as I do. Anyhoo, in between the number calling, strange rituals and fierce competitions,

love blossoms and long lost friends reunite.

7:30pm, through May 22, Grand Theatre, 1575 S. State St. Tickets $8-24, 801-957-3322 or thegrand.org.

UPCOMING EVENTS JUN 10 JUN 12 JUN 12 JUL 4 JUL 16 AUG 20

Sting, USANA Lisa Lampanelli, Peppermill Concert Hall, Wendover Olivia Newton-John & Colbie Caillat, ESA One Republic, Deer Valley Resort Paula Poundstone, Rose Wagner Cyndi Lauper, Peppermill Concert Hall, Wendover

save the date May 8 HRC Utah Gala utah.hrc.org June 4–6 Utah Pride utahpride.org June 10–13 Damn These Heels FIlm Festival slcfilmcenter.org June 13 Salt Lake Men’s Choir “This Land is My Land”, saltlakemenschoir.org June 24–27 Utah Arts Festival uaf.org August 1 Mary Chapin Carpenter redbuttegarden.org August 6–7 Women’s Redrock Music Festival, Torrey redrockwomensfest.com August 7–8 Park City Arts Festival kimballartcenter.org August 8 Q Lagoon Day qsaltlake.com August 20 Cyndi Lauper, Wendover, Nev. wendoverfun.com August 22 Utah Pride Center Golf Classic utahpridecenter.org September 1 Sheryl Crow redbuttegarden.org September 18 sWerve’s Oktoberfest swerveutah.com September 28 Equality Utah Allies Dinner equalityutah.org October 9 National Coming Out Day Breakfast utahpridecenter.org

theater reviews On Walden Pond by Tony Hobday

TAGED ON A WEATHERED PIER JUTTING

out into the mind’s-eye of Walden Pond. Panels of stark, naked tree limbs framed in clear blue skies line the pier. A serene, quieting set, the exact opposite to that of 19th century Transcendentalist literary figures resurrected in Salt Lake Acting company’s blissful production of Charm: Margaret Fuller, Henry David Thoreau, Ralph Waldo Emerson and Nathaniel Hawthorne. Combined fact and imagination, playwright Kathleen Cahill’s interpretation and the believable performances are aptly quirky, at times outrageous and, of course, charming. Fuller (Cheryl Gaysunas) is seen, first and foremost, as spirited, wide-eyed and lives-life-to-the-fullest, and secondary, a feminist and an intellectual, with an obsessive masculine body image; Thoreau (Robert Scott Smith), a quick-witted naturist, bug-lover and believer in simple living; Hawthorne (Brik Berkes), shy and easily agitated (and whose stiff personality reminded me of a nutcracker), and prone to skepticism; and Emerson (Nicholas Wuehrmann), a bit of a chauvinist (he actually changed his wife Lydia’s name to Lydian). Cahill introduces Fuller’s excited individualism to the others in sharply and humorously written scenes. And Fuller’s rebellious nature to social, sexual and gender norms gives question to the others’ own expressions, including Thoreau’s

sexuality and Emerson’s classism (in fact, Emerson eventually hires Fuller as the first female editor of the Transcendentalist journal The Dial). Cahill’s script includes some unusual and entertaining supporting characters, also well-casted by director Meg Gibson, including Orestes Brownson (Max Robinson), George Parker (one of my faves, Jay Perry) and Lydian Emerson (the very funny Jayne Luke). Plus, areas of the script are blatantly historically incorrect: it includes, among others, Fuller in a Speedo one-piece swimsuit and swim cap. Gibson’s direction is seamless, making favorable use of the limited set. Plus, Gibson adds some comic visual touches to the script: Fuller returns from swimming

in Walden Pond covered in plastic pond grasses; and the use of title cards for displaying subtitled Italian-language lines. The costumes, designed by Brenda Van Der Weil, are exquisite and era specific (less the Speedos). I particularly love Fuller’s blue (with a brown hue that compliments the set) silk dress and matching underskirt that covers nearly the entire stage. Charm is an endearing tribute to Margaret Fuller, a brilliant, outspoken woman of her time, and whether you’re man or woman you’ll walk away from this show with an incredible respect for her.

Charm runs through May 9, Salt Lake Acting Company, 168 W. 500 North. Tickets $12–33, 801-363-7522 or saltlakeactingcompany.org.

Parkites are Shameless, Infectious in Their Follies

“Y

OU ’ RE PROBABLY A

PARKITE if you think an evening of great entertainment is watching non-Parkites figure out how to get to Walmart from McDonalds.” A small, but recurring theme in the 10th Annual Park City Follies is the ocassional playful bashing of those who live outside the town’s ornately rustic and chandelier adorned bubble. Jokingly referred to as “those dickheads in the Valley,” parkites appear to have no shame. Well, they don’t, not even when it comes to themselves, which is apparent in this laugh-out-loud parody of all things Park City. Created and performed by a slew of locals, this year’s Follies, called ‘Infectious,’ makes no apologies to its sponsors. In fact, the recently-erected “90 million dollar” luxury hospital is the central buffoon, though the show also jabs local politicians, and local media and television personalities. The random Parkite is also not immune, especially those with treehouses

and yard flamingos. The Follies is a sort of General HospitalThe X-Files hybrid of absurdity and overt conspiracy. POSH, the new boob-and-knee hospital opens under the care of head surgeon Dr. Hungwell and head nurse Hatchett. When a bleached-blond, leopard-printclad, Dooney Burke bag-carrying Stepford Wife-Parkite comes in with an embarrassing infliction diagnosed as SOS, Spontaneous Orgasm Syndrome — deemed a side effect of the drink supplement Moana-Me back down is hilarious and energetic. The — an evil plot ensues. Also, when Park bleach-blond attending nurses, especially Record reporter Rick Buff investigates the the one in drag, are hysterical. Park City unusual necessity for all POSH patients Mayor Dana Williams’ final scene will to undergo an MRI, yet another evil plot have you throwing you arms in the air in disbelief. And in the end, non-Parkites (I is ployed. Theatre-goers are treated to extremely think I may have been the only one there funny dance performances before each of for preview night) will want to jump at the two acts. The PC Rockin’ Realtorettes, the chance at becoming one; though I, as about a dozen or more local realtors, open a gay man, don’t think I could, because apthe show with no inhibition or much tal- parently I’d have to wear “a special fleece ent, which is what makes it so wonderful. jacket to formal occasions.” I don’t think The storyline becomes uninspired in it’s so! On the other hand I do know the meangenerality, though getting to that cusp and ing of the term lymph in PC’s slanguage. Q A pril 29, 2010 | issue 153 | QSa lt L a k e | 33

a&e Q we ings Riehl Events Keeps It Real QSaltLakeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wedding winners, Amanda Brown and Jessica Engel, couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have pulled off their wedding without the help of Jacque Riehl, an all-purpose event planner who leads the team of graphic designers, decorators, stylists, etiquette coaches and more who make up the company that bears her name. From managing guest lists to helping the women choose their wedding outfits, Riehl (pronounced just like â&#x20AC;&#x153;realâ&#x20AC;?) was there at every step of the wedding, to make sure that the coupleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s day went off without a hitch. â&#x20AC;&#x153;My job is very chameleon,â&#x20AC;? said Riehl. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I get to change every day with what I do.â&#x20AC;? Because her mother was a wedding planner, Riehl got an early introduction to the â&#x20AC;&#x153;chameleonâ&#x20AC;? world of event planning, and found that she loved every aspect of it. And it was to these roots that Riehl returned after deciding that she didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t particularly want to pursue a career in interior design or architecture, in which she had pursued her education. â&#x20AC;&#x153;One day my now-husband said to me, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;If you could do anything in the world, what would you want to do, no matter the money, or time or any of the things that a typical person thinks of with career.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? At the time, Riehl had been toying with the idea of starting her own business, and her boyfriendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s question made her realize that event planning was the perfect direction in which to take that business. Shortly after making that decision in 2003, Riehl took a job as Metropolitan Restaurantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s event coordinator. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It was nice because it was going to let me see what the industry was like,â&#x20AC;? she said, noting that she had just moved to Utah two years before taking the offer. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know what the industry was like here, and I wanted to feel it out and see how I felt about the whole situation.â&#x20AC;? She then got her business license and began researching the local wedding and event scene to see if there was a niche that hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t been filled. The niche turned out to be in event planning. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The industry here is a little convoluted,â&#x20AC;? Riehl said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a lot of crossover. Like caterers who do dĂŠcor or who own bridal shops. But there wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t [anyone] who I would call an event planner who was independent of anything else in the industry, so I did that.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;I wanted to make it different,â&#x20AC;? she continued. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The East and West Coasts are about three to four years ahead of Utah. [They just have] a different style in fashion trends and interior design. People hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seen the things that were going on the East and West Coasts and in Europe, and I wanted to bring that fresh look and way of doing things to Utah.â&#x20AC;? As an event planner, Riehl offers her

clients four different services: planning, production, dĂŠcor and design. In the planning stage, Riehl will meet with a client and work out a detailed budget plan. At this time Riehl will recommend vendors such as florists or caterers who fit into the budget and negotiate contracts. On the day of the event, she and her staff will then step in and produce the day, from the moment the doors open to when the last guest departs. They can also create Web sites and stationary for the event and build items such as backdrops. Their service even includes picking clients up to meet vendors and, for weddings, attending dress fittings. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Literally we become the clientâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s personal assistant, available to them 24-7 so everything and anything they need weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re onboard to do,â&#x20AC;? Riehl said. Clients who want less â&#x20AC;&#x153;hand-holdingâ&#x20AC;? can also choose any combination of these services. Additionally, Riehl can also consult clients who only need things like vendor suggestions and help negotiating contracts. For this she charges an hourly rate of $75. Although Riehl and her staff have planned weddings, birthday and anniversary parties, fundraisers, corporate events, outings and even small concerts, Brown and Engelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wedding was the first lesbian wedding they have put together (Riehl noted that she has planned weddings and commitment ceremonies for gay male couples, however). She hopes that she can assist more same-sex couples in the future. â&#x20AC;&#x153;A wedding is a wedding to me. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s about the love and the couple. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t differentiate between [gay and straight couples],â&#x20AC;? she said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I very strongly believe in same-sex marriage and the fight for whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s going on now.â&#x20AC;? Q

Visit Riehl Events online at Riehlevents.com or call 801-259-8598.

3 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 153 | A pril 29, 2010

Mother’s Day cards are in!

The Red Carpet: the Way Home For One ‘Drag Race’ Contestant

LIFE DOESN’T STAND STILL AND NEITHER

SHOULD YOUR INVESTMENTS To schedule a complimentary Portfolio Review, call today.

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F YOU ’ RE LIKE ME , YOU ’ RE SAD ABOUT

RuPaul’s Drag Race getting closer to its finale. But what makes me happy is getting the chance to talk to the queens I’ve enjoyed watching all season. Queens like Tatianna, who I think handled the stress of the show exceedingly well considering she was the target of significant shade from some of the other girls. Tatianna told me she wanted to take the Race plunge during season one, but at only 20, she was too young. “I vowed I was not going to stop trying until I made it.” I wanted to know how someone so young stayed grounded in a very tough competition. “I just kept (thinking) in the back of my head, I was chosen for a reason,” Tatianna explained. “I pushed everything aside when I got on the main stage. I did make great friends. Juju, Pandora and Jessica were all great.” Not on that list? Raven! I wanted to know what their relationship is like now. “We don’t have one,” Tatianna said. “When I left the show I had a lot of negative feelings toward her,” she told me. “Since watching the show I have even more negative feelings toward her. If you feel so on top of it, why spend so much time on what I’m doing? Concentrate on yourself.” So what did Tatianna think of Tyra? Does she feel Tyra’s behavior is based on her age? “Me and Tyra are the same age,” Tatianna said. “I don’t necessarily think it’s young. She came into the competition with a kind of strategy being the way she was. I don’t think she’s a bad person, but just a little misguided in the way she was acting toward her competition.” That is some smart analysis. Almost as smart as Tatianna’s Britney impersonation, which I think was one of her top moments on the show. “At first I was really scared,” she said. “When I did it I was surprised how easy it came out of me. I was really proud of myself.” Tatianna knew the last challenge was going to be a tough one for her since it required her to come up with three looks. “Throughout the whole season the judges didn’t particularly enjoy the clothing I brought,” she said. “I thought, ‘Do I have enough clothes for this?’ I had to make something.” Clothes were an issue, but so was the lip-sync for her life. She explained that the show gave them all the songs to memorize about a month before production, but this week’s song was changed out three days prior. “All the lyrics are ad libs,” Tatianna explained, “So I tried to distract them from my mouth!” It’s great Tatianna used the show to learn more about herself and drag. I can’t wait to see how she evolves. She’s a trooper!

www.edwardjones.com

Member SIPC

Open Daily from 10am–9pm

878 EAST 900 SOUTH • 538-0606

Catch RuPaul’s Drag Race, 9 p.m. (ET/PT) every Monday night on Logo (DISH Network channel 373) and visit LOGOonline.com to find out about viewing parties in your area. PHOTO: LOGO/MATHU ANDERSEN

A pril 29, 2010 | issue 153 | QSa lt L a k e | 35

Salt Lake Cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s finest restaurants are offering exclusive menus for your dining enjoyment.

Cannella's Citris Grill Fresco Italian Cafe Frida Bistro

3 6 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 153 | A pril 29, 2010

Log Haven Meditrina Moxi Wine Bistro Pago

Sageâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cafe Sego Lily Cafe Tiburon Trio Downtown

Trio Conttonwood Vertical Diner Wild Grape Bistro Yamasaki

food & wine restaurant review Bountiful Fun at Moxi, Plus Some New Wines by Chef Drew Ellsworth

FRIDAY NIGHT I TOOK A TRIP TO Bountiful and hey, it was a blast! Moxi is a new wine bistro on what I call the “old highway.” I went there with my frequent dining partner Patti Ellis. The bistro is tucked into a small building where Patti has put together a palates studio, a spa/boutique and Moxi itself. The space is ultra contemporary Our friend Joel, who actually was the with some Rocky Mountain touches and builder of Moxi, ordered a cheese platMoxi is open, engaging, and is an oasis in ter which we all picked at. It had a great what I think as a sort of stuck-up town. stinky cheese from Finland I’ve never had Wendy Lund is the owner/manager before and some wonderful, true Roqueof Moxi. She has worked at many other fort which blew me away. The plate was restaurants including Takashi, were she complimented with shaved prosciutto and was general manager for six years, and dry sausages — very nicely done and great the Happy Sumo for two years. She, like with our Fess Parker wine. many others in the business, decided it’s Chef Bruno brought us out some wontoo much work to do for someone else — so derful pane cotta, which the French call she went out on her own. “Pots de crème.” It was light and luscious Patti and I were served beautiful brus- with simple vanilla flavors, and just the chettas with Southwest spiciness. With right thing for dessert. Chef Bruno — them, we had a glass of one of my new fa- Bruno is his last name — has worked at vorite wines, a Picpoul de Pinet from the several trendy restaurants in Salt Lake Languedoc. It’s floral and crisp, light yet City recently but has found his home at complex, and you need to try it. (You can Moxi. He is a graduate of the California get it at the new wine store on 300 West). Culinary Academy in San Francisco and We also tried a salade frisee with lardons we enjoyed visiting with him. which I was hoping would be like the one I’m not writing this piece as a review at I had in Brussels. The chef is still working this time. Patti and I thought a couple of on this dish, and I suggested he use curly the dishes were overly salted, and in a resendive to create the “puffy, fern-like” look taurant this new there are always kinks the salad should have. He is currently uswhich need to be worked ing Napa cabbage, but it was out. Moxi has only been open tasty, nevertheless. a few weeks and I think it What I really loved was Moxi Wine Bistro would be unfair to really pick his presentation of the duck it apart right now. But I do 1025 S. 500 w. — thin slices of breast in an think it’s very worthy of the Bountiful awesome molasses and bransupport of our community. 801-335-0394 dy reduction. I brought a Fess The clientele there is young, Tue–Sat Parker Ashley’s vineyard ’06 trendy and gay-friendly, and 11am–4pm Pinot Noir, which paired niceI felt like I was at the new Friday–Saturday ly with the duck. We also had “in” place. Who knew there 5pm–12a a great salmon dish which could be an oasis of coolness Sunday Brunch was the fresh fish served over in Bountiful? coming May 9th scallops and topped with a And, the Wines creamy vodka sauce and tiny, To wrap up, I want to tell you red caviar. Nice! The thing I enjoyed most about Moxi about five new value wines people have was how much fun it was. Our waiter was been enjoying: 1) PICPOUL DE PINET. This is a new white my cousin Morgan Maw, who had worked at the Oyster Bar and the Metropolitan for from the South of France, crisp floral and far too many years. They were attentive full-bodied and refreshing for summer. It and funny, and several old friends were costs around $12. 2) MEDRANO MALBEC from Argentina there who dropped by to chat. In the background there was live mu- has been on sale through April for $7 but sic provided by singer and guitarist Jay drinks like a more expensive wine. It has Henderson, whose tunes added a very soft nice balance and low tannins. 3) QUINTA DE RORIZ ESPADEIRO ROSE. This and nice ambiance. (I think a lot of places that have live music play it too loud so you is a Peter Grisley wine from Portugal. can’t enjoy conversation — but then, I’m It has a peachy, rosy color and is full of flavor with floral and apricot overtones. getting old.) AST

Gorgeous, crisp and clean and great for summer. It’s around $10. 4) LUZON, Spanish Monastrell from the Jumilla region. It’s delicious and smooth and only $10. 5) LAN RIOJA RESERVA. Last year this was on the list of the 100 best wines by Spectator. The state still has plenty of it and it’s a big wine, but great with food. It opens up nicely and quickly, and costs around $16 Q.

Open Mon-Sat 11:30am–2pm 5:30 – 9:30pm Fri & Sat til 10:30pm 1394 South West Temple

801.485.2055

www.MeditrinaSLC.com

A pril 29, 2010 | issue 153 | QSa lt L a k e | 3 7

food & wine

COUPON

Happy Happy Hour Hour Sushi Sushi 2 for 1 Mon – Thurs 4pm – 10pm Sake, beer, wine & sushi classes Call for details

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801.328.3888

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Reservations

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173 W Broadway Lunch: M – F, 11:30am – 2pm Dinner: Bar 5:30pm, Dining Room 6pm www.themetropolitan.com

Q bar guide WEEKLY BAR EVENTS

CLUB TRY-ANGLES

251 W. 900 South • D M N 801-364-3203 • clubtry-angles.com

SUNDAYS

$1 Drafts Beer-Soaked Weenies

MONDAYS

Beer-soaked weenies

JAM

751 N. 300 W • D M N 801-891-1162 • jamslc.com

PAPER MOON

3737 S State St • D K L 801-713-0678 • thepapermoon.info

Speakeasy

63 W 100 South • M 801-521-7000

TAVERNACLE

201 E. 300 South • K X 801-519-8800 • tavernacle.com

OR SEVERAL YEARS, THE

DOWNTOWN Alliance has sponsored Dine O’Round, 16 days of dining in spring and fall during which a number of Salt Lake City restaurants offer lunch and dinner specials for $15 and $25, respectively. The event has been among the alliance’s most popular because it is a great way for these restaurants to promote themselves and for diners to experience old favorites as well as new offerings. There’s only one problem: The Downtown Alliance’s borders don’t encompass all of Salt Lake City. And so, several fine restaurants are unable to participate in Dine O’Round. It’s a problem that the owners of Meditrina solved last year by launching their own biannual dining event for eateries in areas such as the People’s Freeway neighborhood, where their small plate restaurant and wine bar is located. “We came up with Diversity Dining not to combat Dine O’Round, but [because] we wanted to focus on revitalizing neighborhoods, because that’s the focus of our restaurant,” said co-owner Amy Britt, who runs the restaurant with her partner, chef Jennifer Gilroy. “And what better time to start drawing attention from guests who are more into chain or established restaurants and pull them into what we’re doing, which is fresh, local and independent?” she continued. “We thought, what better way to create a nice synergy and camaraderie, and build our businesses at the same time?” When Diversity Dining kicked off in the fall of last year, there were only four other restaurants on board: The Wild Grape, Pago, Sage’s Café and Café Niche. “October was a little bit rushed,” explained Gilroy. “It was last minute and kind of snuck up on us.” This spring, however, all of the “flagship” restaurants but Café Niche are returning

TUESDAYS

WEDNESDAYS

(Britt said they hope to have the sandwich and soup shop back for the next round). They are also joined by 11 others: Canella’s, Citris Grill, Fresco Italian Café, Frida Bistro, Log Haven, Moxi Wine Bistro, Sego Lily Café, Tiburon, Trio Downtown, Trio Cottonwood, Vertical Diner and Yamasaki. Like Dine O’Round, prices at each restaurant are set — this time, at $20 and $30. Unlike the downtown event, however, none of the restaurants are required to offer a lunch and dinner service. Also, they can offer any dish they want for either or both prices. Britt said this flexibility gives the participants more creative freedom and underscores the theme of diversity. “We try not to put structure on how menus work because we have such a diversity of menus,” said Britt. For example, as a small plate restaurant specializing in appetizer-sized offerings, Meditrina will allow customers to pick a small plate from each part of its menu or a three-course small plate offering. This would not be possible at a restaurant that specializes in full plate options. In order not to draw business away from Dine O’Round, Diversity Dining will be held May 7–23, beginning roughly a week after the alliance’s event ends. Britt and Gilroy also hope to hold Diversity Dining twice a year, in spring and fall. So far, Britt said that customers have responded enthusiastically — particularly now that she and Gilroy have had more time to focus on lining up restaurants, sending press releases and, of course attracting sponsors. The second Diversity Dining will be sponsored by QSaltLake, Salt Lake City Weekly, SLUG Magazine, Libation, Uinta Brewing Company, Cali’s Natural Foods, and Nicholas and Co. A kickoff party will be held at Meditrina, 1394 S. West Temple, on May 2 from 6:30–9 p.m. Drinks and light appetizers will be served. Q

THURSDAYS

FRIDAYS

SATURDAYS

$1 drafts, DJ D / DJ BoyToy

Dance, Dance, Dance!

$1 drafts

Pool Tournaments

Poker Night

$1 drafts American Idol All Request Night

Superstar Karaoke w/Brian G Fresh Sushi

Music Videos $1 Drafts Fresh Food

Friday Fix DJ Mike Babbitt Fresh Sushi

Saturday Thump DJ Tidy Indie, Top 40

Free pool $1 Drafts No cover

Texas Hold Em $4 Paper Moon Steins

Karaoke 8pm $3 Red Stripe $3 Coronas

Trash Bingo 9pm by Wee & Toni

Country Line Dance Lessons 7– 9pm Wild Wee Karaoke

Poles, Cages, Sexy Women Best Female DJs

Women, Women, Women!

Blues & Jazz Jam

Blues Jam

Texas Hold-em

Porch Pounders w/Bad Brad Wheeler/krcl

Live Music

Tango Practice 7–9p

Live Music

$1 drafts Karaoke 9p

$1 drafts Oldies Night

Karaoke 9p

$1 drafts Dueling pianos 9p

Dueling pianos 9p

TEMPLE

Superstar DJ Dega & Paul Sanchez DJ Pancho & Naomi

214 S 600 West • D M T X 801-879-9037 • Facebook.com/thetempleslc

THE TRAPP

102 S 600 West • B N D K M 801-531-8727

Karaoke w/Kenneth and Jamie 9pm

Hot new DJ Wayne Outdoor patio

3 8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 153 | A pril 29, 2010

Hot new DJ Wayne Outdoor patio

dining guide Loco Lizard Cantina Serious Mexican Food since 1999 at Kimball Junction. 1612 Ute Blvd., Park City 435-645-7000

Off Trax Internet Café Coffee, Wifi and Pool 259 W 900 S 801-364-4307 Omar’s Rawtopia Restaurant Organic Live Food 2148 Highland Dr 801-486-0332

Meditrina Small Plates & Wine Bar Encouraging gastronimic exploring in tapas tradition 1394 S West Temple 801-485-2055

Red Iguana Best home-made moles and chile verdes in town 736 W North Temple and 866 W South Temple City Creek Center Food Ct 801-322-1489

Metropolitan Handcrafted new American cooking 173 W Broadway 801-364-3472

Rice Fusion Cuisine and Sushi Bar 1158 S State Sty 801-328-3888

DIVISION

DREW

ELLSWORTH

Sage’s Cafe The freshest and healthiest cuisine possible 473 E 300 South 801-322-3790 The Metropolitan Handcrafted new American cuisine 173 W Broadway 801-364-3472 Vertical Diner Vegetarian restaurant open 7 days a week 10am–9pm 2280 S West Temple 801-484-8378 The Wild Grape Bistro Eat where the locals eat 481 E South Temple 801-746-5565

CULINARY

CONCEPTS

Ecole DijonCooking School

COOKING CLASSES SUNDAY NIGHT FOOD & WINE PAIRINGS

Learn about great wines and great food Wine taught by Wasatch Academy of Wine’s Sheral Schowe, and staff Food taught by Chef Drew Ellsworth, Certified Executive Chef

MON– FREE POOL TUES– $5 WINGS WED– FREE SHUFFLE BOARD THURS– $6 PITCHERS OF BUD UPSTAIRS IN OLD TROLLEY SQUARE FACING 6TH SOUTH OPEN DAILY AT 12PM

801-538-0745 FACEBOOK US!

Sunday, May 2

Treat yourself or a loved one to cooking classes with Chef Drew Ellsworth, 34-year chef, wine manager of the Third West Wine Store, QSaltLake’s Restaurant reviewer. With small groups of no more than 8 students, Ecole Dijon gives you the opportunity to watch and interact with a professional chef preparing foods in an exciting and expeditious way. The atmosphere is very casual and warm and students can freely move around to see what the chef is doing. “Hands on” training is available when possible.

BREAD CAMP WITH NEW EXCITING WINES Breads and Spreads, BBQ and Salads, Fresh Fruit Pizzas for Dessert, At the home of Laura and Dave Robson

MONDAY NIGHT COMFORT FOODS & FRENCH PASTRIES

Learn how to make fresh bread and pastries in every class! Monday, May 17

JULIA CHILD PARTY, RECIPES FROM VOL. I

French Country Loaf, Shrimp Croquettes with Seafood Sauce, Hamburger Steaks in Red Wine a la Lyonnaise, Salade simple aux Fines Herbs Crème Plombieres

Classes are only $45 or 3 for $115. Wine classes have a $15 wine fee. Chef Drew will even hold classes at your home for as little as $40 per person. See the Web site for details.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON CLASSES CATERING AND CULINARY PARTIES: www.EcoleDijonCookingSchool.com chefdrewe@aol.com 801-278-1039 A pril 29, 2010 | issue 153 | QSa lt L a k e | 39

801.746.5565

481 E South Temple www.WildGrapeBistro.com

sports

by brad di iorio

Hiking Hard Core Power lifting takes weight lifting to the next level. And now, Utah has power hiking thanks to the Gay Men’s Advanced Hiking group, with spring and summer hikes beginning in May. “This is a group hike. Our average hike time is eight to ten plus hours,” said Edwin Delaney Pederson, hike coordinator and group leader. “We hike to the peak of our destination 99 percent of the time. We do move at a pretty moderate pace with little break time.” Pederson says hikes will begin with less intense trips in May that will only last four to five

hours. Although Mt. Olympus is considered an easy hike, for example, consulting a physician before joining an intense hike might be prudent if you haven’t hiked aggressively up steep hills or when there is pressure to stay with the group. The Saturday hikes are a great way to explore the mountains of the greater Wasatch Front. GMAH reaches the summits of all local ski and snowboard mountain ranges above 10,000 feet, sometimes traversing the ridges along the top of a range. (A word of warning: Elevation sickness will affect hikers who haven’t visited high elevations recently.) Right now, most hikes have obstacles like

snow, mud, hail and rain. The temperature can change abruptly and sometimes shrouds of dense fog obscure sudden snow flurries or break up to reveal intense sunlight. The views are spectacular and on a GMAH hike, sometimes one can see for miles in the distance. Wildlife is abundant; larger mammals usually are spooked by hikers, while snakes — including rattlesnakes — coming out of their holes after their winter slumber move slowly on the trails. “Even though we have met and become great friends, the foundation of these hikes is centered on the workout and endurance,” said Pederson. “Many of the climbs reach just under

3737 South State Street

Salt Lake City myspace.com/thepapermoon Become a Facebook fan of The Paper Moon

801-713-0678 Now Open 7 Days a Week!

men’s o W mierYe ears e r P ake’sOver 16 L t l Sa lub for C

No cover Sun – Thurs! Friday, April 30

16th Annual Dykes In Drag Contest

Are you a butch girl? Then we want you to be our next lipstick lesbo! Contestants should be there at 8:30 PM for sign up! Sunday, May 2

RCGSE Golden Spike Awards

7pm • Meet this year’s candidates and award winners Friday, May 7

Friday Night Fever – Disco Night Come shake your Groove Thang ! $6 cover – $3 if you are in costume. Proceeds going to Orion James Vincent fund.

All new website coming soon! www.thepapermoonclub.com 4 0 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 153 | A pril 29, 2010

Sunday:3pm-8pm (Extended Hours for Special Events) Monday: 6pm-1am Tuesday –Friday: 3pm-1am Saturday: 6pm-1am

NEW LINEUP ✶ SUNDAYS ✶

Free Pool, $1 Drafts, No Cover

❩ MONDAYS ❨

“Free” Texas Hold Em! $4 PM Steins. No Cover

✶ TUESDAYS ✶

Karaoke with Mr. Scott @ 8pm Largest Selection in Town $3 Coronas & Red Stripe

l WEDNESDAYS l NEW White Trash Bingo at 9pm Hosted by Wee & Toni

✶ THURSDAYS ✶

Country line dance lessons, 7pm – 9pm Wild Wees Karaoke, 9pm – 1am

❩ FRIDAYS ❩

Poles..Cages..Sexy Women, Best D@%# DJs Spinning All Night Special events TBA

✶ SATURDAYS ✶ Women Women Women Hot DJs Making You Sweat!

a Class 4 climb, so it can be very dangerous as far as scrambling, but [climbing] equipment is not necessary. Though we move at a moderate pace, we still maintain breaks where needed for the workout. Should you choose to join us, be prepared to push yourself.” The group is serious about safety, paying attention to each person who has joined the day’s hike. Hikers are required to stay together and wandering off the trail is not tolerated. Communication is important, and if there are any issues on the hike, participants need to speak up about how they are feeling — especially if they have any apprehension about where they are, or if they notice another hiker is having any difficulties. Band-Aids, insect repellant and sun block are suggested for each hiker, along with warm clothing, since it is always easy to take off layers. Usually each hiker brings a backpack to hold clothing, extra hiking shoes or snow boots, safety accessories and lunch. “I generally pack a couple of sandwiches, averaging about six bottles of water, trail mix of some sort to snack on, sun block, a hat, extra layers for unpredictable weather,” said Pederson, who suggests Hi-Tec, a widely carried hiking brand of boots that are sturdy and reliable. Sporting stores and outdoor retailers also offer many brands and some special offers and deals. Sunglasses, an extra pair of socks and a rain coat with a hood are also suggested. Preparation for going on advanced hikes should include cardio activities, like stair steppers, swimming, running, biking and smaller hikes. Though last year’s hikers included many experienced hikers, anyone wanting to try it out is welcome, and they should be prepared mentally for a workout. “The group is primarily made up of gay men, but not exclusive. It is, however, a men’s hiking group,” said Pederson. “We always meet at 9 a.m. sharp [special hikes will have specific information on times]. I am at the meeting spot at 8:30 a.m. I prefer you be punctual and on time for this, and if you are going to be like five or so minutes late, we will wait, but you have to give me a call and let us know to wait.” The group generally meets at the mouth of Big Cottonwood Canyon, at the parking lot off of the 215, as you turn to go up to Brighton and Snowbird. Pederson says he will be there in his White Ford F150 Truck each Saturday. The first hike will be May 15 and will go to Lake Blanche and back. “This is a very easy hike. It is our opening social hike,” said Pederson. “So don’t feel intimidated to join us, come and get to know the group and see first-hand of what to expect.” Pederson has been leading the group for the past three years. He decided to change the name this year and create a logo, as he is also a talented graphic artist who recently created Team Utah’s logo. Pederson also swims with QUAC and has just published his first novel. “Lastly, setting a goal to conquer a mountain peak that does everything it can to break you, is amazing,” said Pederson. “Standing on a peak at 14,000 feet is one amazing feeling of accomplishment. We have an awesome time.” Q

To reach GMAH, look for its Facebook page or email Delaney Pederson at sugarhouseguy1980@ gmail.com, or call him at 801-503-4234.

CLUB MEMBERS O T E E R F S E S ITS PRIVILEG A H IP H S R E B M ME

5 Y A M , Y A D S E WEDN

O Y A M E D r u o & s u h CINCComO t i w e celebrate a specials. Coron

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S E U L B M O O R K s r C e e A u q B y r t l u s Dancing for 7pm t a n i g e b s n o s s e l Dance s w o l l o f g n i c n a d Blues

bar, After thetin ues n o c y t r a p e th next door at

• 259 w 900 s

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$1 DRAFTS S Y A D S E U T S WEENIES ▼ IGHT Y A D N O M ▼ L NIGHT • $1 DRAFTS ▼ THURSDAYS POKER N L S A IE E C N E N E A W -D E S C SUNDAY DANCE-DAN RNAMENTS U S O Y T A L D O R O U P T A S S Y rive early! r AFTS ▼ A R . D l l 1 WEDNESDA u $ f , e D r J a /D e Y J BOY TO when w s t h ig n y a d OPEN DAILY AT 2PM r ▼ FRIDAYS D u t a S & y a id r F n o s R e A 251 W 900 S 801-364-3203 B lin E Avoid the long OUR SCREENS THROUGHOUT TH 1/2 BLOCK FROM 9th S TRAX STATION N O IM H T X WWW.CLUBTRY-ANGLES.COM A PRIVATE CLUB FOR MEMBERS FOR MEMBERS AND GUESTS WWW.CLUBTRY-ANGLES.COM A PRIVATE CLUB SHY? TE ▼

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fun & games

A Fortunate Homosexual Man Across 1 5 10 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 23 24 25

26 29 30 31 33 38 39 41 44

Evita portrayer Ackerman George of It’s My Party Get hot under the collar East of Eden brother Butt heads Some have it to grind Historic Stonewall event Jamaican cultist It reveals a drag queen’s thighs Soap with Ricky Martin during the ’90s Lure into wrongdoing Claim He wrote “Englishman in New York” as a tribute to Quentin Crisp Gal. eighths Cicilline staffers Lid for Barrie Tennis great Navratilova 1996 Broadway play with Ricky Martin Obama’s middlen name Caesar’s football squads? Runway walker Gaydar, for example

45 Bounteous 47 Britten’s Billy Budd and Peter Grimes 49 Not straight up 50 Song by Ricky Martin 54 Town in O-o-o-ooklahoma 55 Like Everett, as a movie husband 56 Club for Sheehan 57 Stiff bristle 58 Peter of Say Uncle 59 Not straight 60 Disney sci-fi flick 61 Where priests come together 62 Puts into service

Down 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Penile boast, perhaps Monopoly avenue Quickie hour, for some Status that George O’Malley had to repeat Recycled metal Jerusalem server Slang for vagina Memo start Tibetan capital Like “all my sisters with me” Came together Get by somehow

13 Gertrude Stein in Paris, and others 21 The Advocate, to detractors 22 Backup strategy 26 Out 27 Kilmer poem 28 “Take it off!” 31 Third notes, to Bernstein 32 Magneto portrayer McKellen 34 Nicollette of Desperate Housewives 35 Disney film set in China 36 Checks out thoroughly 37 Breast enlarging material 40 Curve-cutting lines 41 Harass 42 Donor of two cents 43 Hoffa director 45 One ___ time (no threesomes!) 46 California home of Streisand 48 You don’t want to get pink ones 49 Sat on one’s bottom 51 Every 24 hours 52 Blood line 53 Otello villain PUZZLE ANSWERS ON PAGE 47

Cryptogram

A cryptogram is a puzzle where one letter in the puzzle is substituted with another. For example: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! Has the solution: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! In the above example Es are all replaced by Cs. The puzzle is solved by recognizing letter patterns in words and successively substituting letters until the solution is reached. This week’s hint: D = W Theme: Comment by Traditional Values Coalition Executive Director Andrea Lafferty on ENDA.

RKREZ TUMUR DGXX IR CPEQRY UP WMAR QEPTT-YERTTRET, YEMO LSRRVT, UEMVTTRJSMXT, MVY TBR-WMXRT GVUP HEPURQURY QXMTTRT. _____ _____ ____ __ ______ __ ____ _____________, ____ ______, ____________, ___ ___-_____ ____ _________ _______. 42 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 153 | A pril 29, 2010

homoscopes By Jack Fertig

ments. If you want a good debate, hold yourself back a bit and make an effort to really hear what the other person has to say!

Q les

LIBRA (September 23–October 22) Saturn opposing Uranus is a long-running Trying to keep up with peer preson-and-off aspect that’s scattering minefields, sure, you could worry yourself sick. challenging us to change structures and goals Balance? It means they have to meet you through the year. The Sun and Mars are trighalf way, too. Your real friends will do that. gering those with sometimes violent results. Standing your ground is sexy. Ideological, “values”-based attacks are likely at personal and political levels. SCORPIO (October 23–Nov. 21) Immediate concerns — work and ARIES (March 20–April 19): partnership–feel like distractions from Your competitive drive can become your creative engagement with the world, obsessive, even self-destructive. building the future. In fact, those quotidian Looking good is not about conquest, but moving on gracefully. Let go, meditate, open details are exactly how we do that. Try to channel that aggravation into creative energy. your creative soul. You can’t do that while guarding your turf as queen of the mountain. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22–Dec. 20):

[

]

TAURUS (April 20–May 20): Celebrate your birthday with your family and your most creative friends, not necessarily at the same party. Bringing them together may get a bit dramatic, even catalytic. This could be a good thing, or not. Think it through.

GEMINI (May 21- June 20) Meditation will cool your heated brain and help you to keep your mouth out of trouble. In that calm solitude, think of ways your home life can support your ambitions. They don’t have to be at war with each other. CANCER (June 21- July 22) Showing off to your friends can get expensive and become a source of fights. If your love and admiration aren’t enough, home-baked cookies should do it. If they want more, they’re not really your friends, and their arguments aren’t worth the trouble.

LEO (July 23–August 22) Whatever you do is sure to get noticed. You do realize that can be a mixed blessing! Some humility would be in order, but that doesn’t mean denying your actual gifts and accomplishments. It’s just a matter of keeping perspective.

VIRGO (August 23–September 22) Your brain wants a challenge. Find it in a book; don’t go picking argu-

anagram An anagram is a word or phrase that can be made using the letters from another word or phrase. Rearrange the letters below to answer:

Name the Fabby award winner for Best Dance Company.

BALLS TWEET ______ ____ PUZZLE SOLUTIONS ARE ON PAGE 47

Domestic drama threatens to disrupt your plans at work. If you can keep an even keel, handling those unpredictable upsets could help you gain confidence in your managerial skills. Remember, a team leader is still a team member!

FIND US ONLINE! qsaltlake.com theqpages.com facebook.com/qsaltlake myspace.com/qsaltlake twitter @qsaltlake

CAPRICORN (Dec. 21–January 19) Maintain respect for people even when their questions seem abysmally stupid. It is tempting to mess with their heads, or to mock them, but mellow out that playful streak and engage them. That could lead to fun for all! AQUARIUS (January 20–Feb. 18) Everybody needs to be concerned about money these days. You may be more worried than is necessary or helpful. Don’t take it out on your family or housemates. The first purpose of discussion is to get problems into perspective.

PISCES (February 19–March 19) Flaws and frustrations in your relationship, however minor, are now feeling worse than they really are. You could both make a list now to discuss later. If you must trash someone, that is what politicians and celebrities are for.

Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977, is available for personal and business consultations in person in San Francisco, or online everywhere. He can be reached at 415-864-8302, through his website at starjack and by e-mail at homoscopes@qsaltlake.com

Q doku doku Q

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically spaces. must9 contain one of each Every digit,row as must withoutblank guessing. EnterEvery digits 1row through into the blank spaces. must contain each one ofcolumn each digit, must3x3 eachsquare. column and eachis3x3 square.five Qdoku is andaseach Qdoku actually actuallyseparate, five seperate, connected,Sudoku Sudokupuzzles. puzzles. butbut connected,

Level: Medium

1 5 3 1 7 6 3

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6 2 9 1 7 4 5 7 4 2 7 1 8 4 6 8

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9 5 2 1 9 7 4 9 1 6 5 6 3 1 8 2 5 1 3 7 5 2 3 6 7 8

5 2 4 1 7

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3 7 6 8

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7 2 3 5 5 7 6 3 4 8 6 4 9 2 9 3 8 3 6 5 9 1 5 1 3 4

A pril 29, 2010 | issue 153 | QSa lt L a k e | 43

nightlife Qscene Where to Go on Weekends in Salt Lake by Hunter Richardson

O WEEKEND IS COMPLETE WITHOUT A

social event to attend. So, how do we go about choosing where to venture once the weekend has arrived? That’s the topic for this piece, kids: how the weekend process breaks down from why we go out to how we go out and then where. JAM, Püre, Edge, Temple, Try-Angles, The Trapp, Paper Moon – have I missed one? The point is, it’s fairly easy to quickly spout off the gay establishments that are frequented on the weekend. But how are nights planned? Are they planned around a specific night (such as a political fundraiser or a “Halfway-to-Halloween Monster Ball”)? Or are they merely random interactions between friends congregating at a predetermined location? The common denominator is that the community works hard during the week – whether it is working downtown climbing the corporate ladder or providing the best service at a five-star restaurant — the community (for the most part) works hard. Come Friday night, socializing is an inherit part of our social structure. That is the true underlying commonality. Wherever the plans are held, it is to momentarily displace ourselves from the reality of the work week and let go the stresses that go hand-in-hand. Knowing how we go out is almost as important as knowing why we go out. The “why” is simple – to socialize. Socializing is nothing new. It’s nothing unique. It’s merely a personal, continuing process whereby a personal identity is acquired. Truly a starting point of where people learn the norms, values, behavior and social skills appropriate to our social position. How, then, do we integrate plans and choose where to venture on any given evening? I’ve come to the conclusion that “group think” has a large part to play in the decision-making process. Group think is ultimately when people approach situations (or plans) which are best dealt with by consensus of a group rather than by individuals acting independently. This, coupled with individual moods and feelings,

possibly dictate where we ultimately go. For example, if I have a lot of energy and am wanting the night to be filled with excitement, going to a classic romance movie at the Broadway is probably not how I will spend my evening. So, as an individual, I will seek out an environment where my mood is matched. Therefore, socializing is tied in by seeking out others who are in similar moods, and group think ties in with consensus on how to spend the evening. The only problem with group think is that it promotes a lack of individual creativity, or a sense of personal responsibility. Regardless, both combine and are the basis of the initial thought process of the night’s beginning. But when the drinks are ordered and the tab is started, worrying about such inconsequential things won’t even be an afterthought when engaged in a drunken verbal jousting contest with your peers. I will end with three words: location, location, location. Every venue in Salt Lake City is trying to get our attention and cater to our general wants and desires for a night of “fun.” We are in charge, and the promoters/owners/janitors have no formula for the perfect party, mood or atmosphere, they merely hope that on any given night our mood is to go to their party and buy their drinks. Me — I’m versatile — I tend to follow and lead in a 50/50 manner. I hope to see you all there, wherever it may be. Q

Check out the Bar Guide at TheQPages.com TUESDAYS

4 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 153 | A pril 29, 2010

A pril 29, 2010 | issue 153 | QSa lt L a k e | 45

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q tales the perils of petunia pap-smear

A Tale of Glee by Petunia Pap-Smear

HE ROAD TO THE STARDOM IS FRAUGHT

with danger and excitement. “My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over.” Glee has triumphantly returned to the television airwaves after an interminable absence and receiving the Oprah seal of approval. I’m drawn to Glee like a poor drag queen on a budget to a size 22, sparkly, sequined prom dress at Deseret Industries. It just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, even more than poppers. Watching the kids perform the fantastic musical numbers in Glee reminds me so strongly of my days in high school, way back before the invention of the wheel, amid the potato fields of Idaho. It was so much better for me as a closeted gay kid to feel at home and be able to hide in the music and theater departments, rather than, God forbid, on the football team. I still don’t understand why the coach got so upset when I be-dazzled my football helmet with glitter and a few tasteful rhinestones, and color coordinated my knee pads with a jaunty pastel scarf. Naturally, I auditioned for every single play and musical that the school performed. Sadly, for a budding drama queen, in a school with a population of only 100 students, the musical production numbers consisted of an out of tune piano, paper scenery and 10 kids whose only experience in dancing was in a square, listening to the hog caller at the last Gold and Green Ball. As you would expect, since the school was so small, everyone who auditioned made it in the production, sadly irrespective of talent. I wonder if that’s how Paris Hilton got started? In my junior year, the school musical was Where’s Charley? For the theatrically

pu le solutions

ignorant, here is a synopsis: “Oxford University students Charley and Jack invite the young and winsome Kitty and Amy to lunch under the chaperoning eye of Donna Lucia, Charley’s wealthy aunt (it is, after all, 1892). But when Donna Lucia doesn’t show, a desperate Charley disguises himself as his aunt so the young ladies can visit. Amy’s stuffy uncle, promptly falls for Charley’s aunt-like charms! Then the real aunt shows up, and it’s all downhill from there.”

I became very adept at getting fully into and out of costume in 45 seconds or less — a skill that would prove to be very beneficial in later years I was cast as Charley — no big surprise there. As you can imagine, I was both excited and terrified about performing in drag in front of the whole town, lest my secret be exposed when it showed that I might be too comfortable with my feminine side. However, this was license for me to do drag in the mainstream, so damn the high heels and full steam ahead as I dived right in up to my corset. My dress was a formal 1890’s black satin frock reminiscent of ones Queen Victoria wore. How fitting that on my debut as a queen I should resemble The

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Anagram: Ballet West

honor ro Queen. I was in virtually every scene, and I had 17 very rapid costume changes. During weeks of rehearsals, I became very adept at getting fully into and out of costume in 45 seconds or less — a skill that would prove to be very beneficial in later years (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). It didn’t hurt that one of the cutest guys in school was assigned to be my dresser to help me make each transition. He would stand off stage holding my dress and waiting for me to just step into the costume and, of course, his big, strong, “Oh take me I’m yours” arms. I nearly swooned 17 times each night! By opening night, I had become a bundle of nerves; anxious that I would forget my lines, that I might be detected as gay, that I might “accidentally” kiss my hunky dressing assistant between scenes, or that I might slip and fall during the soft-shoe dance solo. The curtain went up, the applause died down, and Act 1, Scene 1 began with me waiting in the wings for my cue. Suddenly, my emotions and nerves got the best of me and I had a great need to hurl! Even though I hadn’t been to finishing school yet, I sensed that projectile vomiting on the floor was social faux pas. So I grabbed an antique pitcher which was a prop for the next scene, and my lunch made its encore appearance therein. I missed my cue. There was silence on the stage. With my face so pale that even grease paint couldn’t cover it up, I pulled myself together, entered stage left and performed the scene. When I exited, I was met by the director who said to continue on, but that if I got sick again to just turn, walk off the stage, and they would close the curtain and make it a scene change. By the end of the second scene, someone had procured a bottle of paregoric to settle my stomach. I quickly drank the whole bottle, much more than a normal dose. WELL, paregoric is a level three narcotic made primarily from opium and alcohol. By the end of the first act, my nausea was gone, but I was flying higher than Amy Winehouse. I don’t remember too much of the rest of the night, but suffice it to say the newspaper gave us a glowing review. They said that they had never seen a more natural slapstick comedy. Sadly, subsequent performances did not reach these exalted heights. Like always, these events leave us with many eternal questions: 1. Was the director guilty of typecasting me? 2. Could I possibly still fit into that dress? (Not even with a shoe horn!) 3. Why don’t football helmets have rhinestones? 4. If my dress had been a miniskirt, would my hunky dresser have taken advantage of me? 5. If I kissed him, could I have blamed it on being drugged? 6. Is paregoric the preferred introduction drug of choice? These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of “The Perils of Petunia Pap-Smear.” Q

A pril 29, 2010 | issue 153 | QSa lt L a k e | 47

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