QSaltLake February 3, 2011

Utah’s News & Entertainment Magazine for the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community | FREE

salt lake Issue 173 February 3, 2011

BYU Changes Honor Code Policy

‘I Am Equal’ in Salt Lake

Christensen Revives ‘Policy’ Bill

Jake Shears Performs Naked

BRAVO BROADWAY: THE WICKED DIVAS! WITH PRINCIPAL POPS CONDUCTOR JERRY STEICHEN AND GUEST ARTISTS JULIA MURNEY AND STEPHANIE J. BLOCK

FEBRUARY 18-19 | 8 PM ABRAVANEL HALL Get your tickets fast and join us as Jerry hosts a wildly entertaining concert featuring stars from Broadway’s cast of Wicked, the fabulous untold story of the witches of Oz. This performance, featuring songs from Wicked as well as hits from other Broadway favorites including Chicago, Spamalot, and Phantom of the Opera – WILL SELL OUT – so reserve your seats today.

TICKETS START AT $30.

CALL 801-355-ARTS (2787) OR VISIT UTAHSYMPHONY.ORG.

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First Person

from the editor Is it about marriage?

by Michael Aaron

I

n this issue, the one that covers Valentine’s Day, we are announcing the winners of our same-sex wedding giveaway.

We, of course, know that we aren’t able to legally marry the two men who won, but we can throw them a great party, a lavish ceremony, and a trip away from home to celebrate — honeymoon style.

But these two men were, at one time, also in need of the real protections a true marriage would have given them. Until recently, one wasn’t a United States citizen and was at risk for being sent out of the country. Had they been a man and a woman who had fallen head-overheels in love, it would have been as simple as a trip to the Clerk’s Office. As it was, it took six years to overcome that battle.

The men also wanted a family; to adopt two children. Of course we live in a state that forbids unmarried cohabiting couples from adopting ... make that the only state in the union that forbids unmarried cohabiting couples from adopting. Skillfully weaving through the maze of forms, requirements and restrictions, one of the men was able to legally adopt two children. Again, had they been a loving malefemale couple, the stroke of the pen would have been merely a formality.

Their story, unfortunately, isn’t unique.

Many gay and lesbian couples in this country find themselves in these situations and more.

Recently we did a story of two elderly men

not being able to be in the same room as the person you adore as you both go through what could be the most traumatic time of your lives.

Imagine a perhaps distant relative making life decisions for that loved one that you know is not what he or she would have wanted, and not being able to do a thing about it. Married people don’t worry about such things.

And the couple who pays most of their discretionary income on health insurance would otherwise be included in one partner’s employment benefits had they been a male-female couple.

I have heard many people say that our fight should not be about marriage or even civil unions. To them I say walk in these couples’ shoes for a while and come back to me then.

Yes, I know we need to ensure people can keep jobs and a roof over their heads. Yes, I know there are people who want, for whatever reason, to enlist in the armed forces. Yes, I know that people are still being harassed, bullied and even killed for their real or perceived death or incapacitation of the other. Their hell sexual orientation and gender identity. on earth in their sunset years could have been Those are important things to fight for. avoided with a quick trip to the altar.

I also know that over a thousand rights are We’ve also heard of couples who have ended granted with a rubber stamp at the end of a up in the wrong hospital when one is hurt in civil ceremony called a marriage. Those are a an accident. Wrong, because not all hospitals thousand rights that hundreds of thousands of have the same policies of visitation for same- people in this country do not get to partake in. sex partners, no matter how long they have Those are important things to fight for, been together or how loudly they plea. Imagine too. Q who had been together for decades. County officials stripped them of their shared home and belongings after one fell ill. Had they been able to legally marry, their estates would have been combined into one indivisible estate upon the

Their hell on earth in their sunset years could have been avoided with a quick trip to the altar

Februa r y 03 , 2011 | issue 17 3 | QSa lt L a k e | 5

national news

Quips & Quotes

by Rex Wockner

Gay groups respond to State of the Union address

President Barack Obama made one reference to gay people during his Jan. 25 State of the Union address.

“Our troops come from every corner of this country,” he said. “They’re black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American. They are Christian and Hindu, Jewish and Muslim.

And, yes, we know that some of them are gay.

Starting this year, no American will be forbidden from serving the country they love because of who they love. And with that change, I call on all our college campuses to open their doors to our military recruiters and ROTC. It is time to leave behind the divisive battles of the past. It is time to move forward as one nation.”

Gay groups were quick to react to Obama’s words.

Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese said: “(T)onight’s announcement is welcome news for all Americans ready to close the book on discrimination in the ranks. ... Tonight is the culmination of a promise kept by this president.”

Solmonese added, however, that Obama also needs to commit to “ending the unfair taxation of partner health benefits, prohibiting workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, and ensuring that all married couples have access to the same federal benefits and protections for their families.”

GetEQUAL Director Robin McGehee expressed disappointment over the address.

“Tonight, President Obama missed an opportunity to lay out an agenda and strategy that continues progress made toward LGBT equality - removing the burden of being second-class citizens and acknowledging our families,” she said. “Sadly, while national hero Daniel Hernandez sat with the First Lady to witness this historic speech, he did not have the luxury of sitting there as an equal - for that, our elected officials should be ashamed. It is time for the president to put the power of the White House behind the passage of legislation that would give the right of full federal equality to LGBT Americans.”

“We refuse to accept the political excuses that ‘now is not the time’ for ‘difficult’ issues like equality or that these issues are too ‘complicated’ or ‘controversial’ to take on right now,” McGehee said.

“Equality is never convenient. Justice is never easy. Each day that we wait until discrimination is ‘easier’ to combat, another LGBT person dies unequal. Each day that we wait, another couple is pulled apart at the border by American immigration policies. Each day that we wait, another of our transgender neighbors are left without a paycheck under discriminatory employment policies.”

National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Executive Director Rea Carey said that “if the

president is truly serious about job creation and boosting America’s economic well-being, he must provide leadership and action in helping to pass employment protections for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and ending the costly and unjust federal marriage ban.”

“Fact is, the state of the union for (LGBT) people remains largely one of inequality, as we can still be fired from or denied employment in many parts of the country for nothing other than bias, and marriage inequality relegates our families to second-class status,” she said.

The National Center for Transgender Equality issued a statement pointing out that the pending repeal of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell ban on open gays in the military “still does not allow transgender people to serve openly or to join the military.”

For video of Obama’s gay reference, see tinyurl. com/653pz4j.

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I can’t believe it. I’m not sure how much my shaky hands can tweet, but thank you so much! Couldn’t do what I do without you guys!”

— Out actor Chris Colfer tweeting to his fans after winning a Golden Globe for his portrayal of a gay teen on Glee

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PHOTO: REX WOCKNER

Appeals Court refuses to delay DADT case The 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals on Jan. 28 denied the federal government’s request to suspend the Log Cabin Republicans’ case against the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell military gay ban while the Pentagon works to abolish the policy.

In a late-Friday-afternoon notice sent to interested parties, the court said: “The opposed motion to hold these appeals in abeyance is denied. The briefing schedule is reset as follows: the government’s opening brief and excerpts of record are due Feb. 25, 2011; Log Cabin Republicans’ answering brief and supplemental excerpts of record are due March 28, 2011; and the government’s reply brief is due 14 days after service of the answering brief.”

DADT was struck down as unconstitutional last October by U.S. District Judge Virginia Phillips in Riverside, Calif.

The Obama administration, however, appealed the ruling to the 9th Circuit and obtained a stay of Phillips’ injunction that had halted the ban’s enforcement worldwide.

Then, in December, Congress, which legislated DADT 18 years ago, voted to authorize

the Pentagon to repeal the policy, but the Pentagon has not yet done so, and the process is likely to take several more months.

The government was hoping to pause its appeal in the meantime, but the 9th Circuit has rejected the request.

Log Cabin had strongly opposed any delay in the case.

“Despite what the government has led the American people to believe, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell has not been repealed and will likely remain the law of the land until the end of 2011,” said the group’s attorney, Dan Woods.

“In the meantime, openly gay individuals are not free to enlist in our armed forces, current service members must continue to live a lie, and the government continues to investigate and discharge service members. ... The government asked us to agree to the delay and we were willing to do so on one condition: that the government halt all pending investigations and discharges during the period of delay. The government refused, and its attorneys said that investigations and discharges will continue.”

Iowa House OKs amendment to re-ban same-sex marriage The Iowa House of Representatives passed a measure Feb. 1 to send to voters a constitutional amendment that would ban same-sex marriage, civil unions and any other recognition of same-sex couples. The vote was 6237.

Senate Majority Leader Mike Gronstal has vowed to block the measure’s advance in that chamber.

To make it to the ballot, in 2013 at the earliest, the amendment would have to pass both houses of the Legislature twice, in two consecutive sessions.

“Today’s vote is a shameful attack on same-sex couples and their children,” said Lambda Legal’s Camilla Taylor. “History won’t look kindly on the politicians who vot-

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ed today to attack committed Iowa couples and their kids across the state who merely want their government to continue to treat them equally.”

One Iowa Executive Director Carolyn Jenison said the amendment “devalues families and divides Iowans.”

“The constitution is meant to protect the freedoms and liberties of all Iowans,” she said. “It is inappropriate to use the political process to single out and deny a group of Iowans of their constitutional protections.”

Iowa is one of five states, along with the District of Columbia, where same-sex marriage is legal. The others are Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Vermont.

Hopefully the next gay generation will also have this when we get marriage equality in the United States, when we’ll all be equal and we won’t have to worry about milestones.”

— Marc Moder, who attended the signing ceremony for the new civil unions bill in Illinois, as quoted by the Chicago Tribune

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As we reflect on his life, it is also an occasion to reaffirm that human rights apply to everyone, no exceptions, and that the human rights of LGBT individuals cannot be separated from the human rights of all persons.”

— U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, making a statement about the death of Ugandan LGBT activist David Kato

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I’m Barbara Bush and I’m a New Yorker for marriage equality... New York is about fairness and equality. And everyone should have the right to marry the person that they love.”

— Barbara Bush, daughter of George W. Bush, in a short online video for the Human Rights Campaign

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There is more work to be done regarding some important details and clarification of the timeline, but this is certainly a moment to step back, take a pause, and salute the armed forces for a job well done.”

— Aaron Belkin, executive director of the Palm Center, a California think tank that endorses the repeal of DADT, as quoted by The Washington Post

INTERnational news

by Rex Wockner

Prominent Ugandan activist killed Newspaper and U.S. evangelicals blamed Prominent Ugandan gay activist David Kato was killed in his home Jan. 26, just 23 days after winning a lawsuit against a tabloid newspaper that published his picture and pictures of other gays along with the headline “Hang Them.”

Police said a robber entered Kato’s home near Kampala early in the afternoon, struck him in the head with a hammer, and left in a vehicle.

They later arrested Kato’s driver and are looking for his handyman, who they said is an ex-con. Kato died en route to a hospital, according to Human Rights Watch.

“David Kato’s death is a tragic loss to the human rights community,” said HRW’s senior Africa researcher, Maria Burnett.

“David had faced the increased threats to Ugandan LGBT people bravely and will be sorely missed.”

Kato was the advocacy officer for the organization Sexual Minorities Uganda (SMUG). He had been a leading voice in the fight against the Anti-Homosexuality Bill, which has been before Uganda’s parliament since October 2009.

The legislation would imprison for life anyone convicted of “the offense of homosexuality,” punish “aggravated homosexuality” (repeat offenses, or having gay sex while being HIV positive) with the death penalty, forbid “promotion of homosexuality” and incarcerate gay-rights defenders, and jail individuals in positions of authority for up to three years if they fail to report within 24 hours the existence of all LGBT people or sympathizers known to them.

Kato was one of three plaintiffs in the recent successful lawsuit against Uganda’s Rolling Stone newspaper, which published photos, names and addresses of numerous gay people, including Kato, along with a headline that said, “Hang Them.” Kato’s photo was on the cover.

The Kampala High Court ruled that the plaintiffs suffered violations of their constitutional rights to life and to privacy of the person and the home, and ordered the newspaper, which has no relation to the U.S. Rolling Stone, to pay each plaintiff $643 plus court costs. “(P)ublishing the identities of the applicants and exposing their homes coupled with the explicit call to hang them because ‘they are after our kids,’ the respondents extracted the applicants from the other members of the community who are regarded as worthy, in equal measure, of human dignity and who ought to be treated as worthy of dignity and respect,” the court said. “Clearly the call to hang gays in dozens tends to tremendously threaten their right to human dignity. ... (T)he exposure, of the identities of the persons and homes of the applicants for the purposes of fight-

ing gayism and the activities of gays, as can easily be seen from the general outlook of the impugned publication, threaten the rights of the applicants to privacy of the person and their homes.”

The newspaper article said, in part: “The mighty Rolling Stone is glad to reveal some of the most horrible secrets in gay community, which is bent on recruiting at least one million members by 2012. Dishearteningly, gays are after young kids, who are easily brainwashed towards bisexual orientation. ... The leaked pictures of Uganda’s top homosexuals and lesbians have renewed calls for the strengthening of the war against the rampage that threatens the future of our generation by hanging gays.

‘Unless government takes a bold step by hanging dozens of homosexuals, the vice will continue eating up the moral fibre and culture of our great nation,’ ... said a radical church leader who preferred anonymity.”

In a statement, SMUG said that Kato “has been receiving death threats since his face was put on the front page of Rolling Stone, which called for his death and the death of all homosexuals.”

Val Kalenda, board chair of Freedom and Roam Uganda, blamed Kato’s killing on “the hatred planted in Uganda by (visiting) U.S. evangelicals in 2009.”

“The Ugandan government and the socalled U.S. evangelicals must take responsibility for David’s blood!” she said.

Some U.S. news reports and gay activists have blamed the U.S. visitors for inspiring the Anti-Homosexuality Bill during their visits to the country.

“David was a true hero, a man who gave his energy and finally his life for others’ freedoms,” said Scott Long, who headed HRW’s LGBT Rights Division for several years. “The foreign Christian leaders who have supported the spread of murderous homophobia in Uganda ... should search their consciences today and beg forgiveness.”

According to Political Research Associates: “The targeting of Kato and other LGBT Ugandans follows an intense demonization campaign fostered by right-wing Christian activists from the United States. A March 2009 conference in Kampala ... featured notorious American anti-gay campaigners, who promoted the idea of a sinister global homosexualconspiracy to corrupt Uganda.

Conference speakers advocated parliamentary action to thwart this ‘international gay agenda’ (and) met with Ugandan lawmakers and government officials, some of whom drafted Parliament’s infamous Anti-Homosexuality Bill.”

In a statement, SMUG Executive Director Frank Mugisha vowed to carry on Kato’s activism.

“No form of intimidation will stop our cause,” he said. “The death of David will only be honored when the struggle for justice and equality is won. David is gone and many of us will follow, but the struggle will be won. David wanted to see a Uganda where all people will be treated equally despite their sexual orientation.”

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton issued a statement that said, in part: “David Kato tirelessly devoted himself to improving the lives of others. As an advocate for the group Sexual Minorities Uganda, he worked to defend the rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals.

His efforts resulted in groundbreaking recognition for Uganda’s LGBT community, including the Uganda Human Rights Commission’s October 2010 statement on the unconstitutionality of Uganda’s draft ‘antihomosexuality bill’ and the Ugandan High Court’s January 3 ruling safeguarding all Ugandans’ right to privacy and the preservation of human dignity. His tragic death underscores how critical it is that both the government and the people of Uganda, along with the international community, speak out against the discrimination, harassment and intimidation of Uganda’s LGBT community, and work together to ensure that all individuals are accorded the same rights and dignity to which each and every person is entitled.”

President Barack Obama said: “I am deeply saddened to learn of the murder of David Kato. In Uganda, David showed tremendous courage in speaking out against hate. He was a powerful advocate for fairness and freedom. The United States mourns his murder, and we recommit

ourselves to David’s work. At home and around the world, LGBT persons continue to be subjected to unconscionable bullying, discrimination and hate. In the weeks preceding David Kato’s murder in Uganda, five members of the LGBT community in Honduras were also murdered. It is essential that the governments of Uganda and Honduras investigate these killings and hold the perpetrators accountable. LGBT rights are not special rights; they are human rights. My administration will continue to strongly support human rights and assistance work on behalf of LGBT persons abroad. We do this because we recognize the threat faced by leaders like David Kato, and we share their commitment to advancing freedom, fairness and equality for all.”

UN secretary-general speaks up for gays At a special session of the United Nations’ Human Rights Council on Jan. 25 in Geneva, Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon called for an end to human rights violations based on sexual orientation and gender identity.

It was believed to be the first time that a secretary-general directly addressed an official U.N. body specifically on issues of sexual orientation and gender identity.

“We must reject persecution of people because of their sexual orientation or gender identity — who may be arrested, detained or executed for being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender,” Ban said. “They may not have popular or political support, but they deserve our support in safeguarding their fundamental human rights.”

“I understand that sexual orientation and gender identity raise sensitive cultural issues,” he added. “But cultural practice cannot justify any violation of human rights. Women’s treatment as second-class citizens has been justified, at times, as a ‘cultural practice.’ So has institutional racism and other forms of inhuman punishment. But that is merely an excuse. When

our fellow humans are persecuted because of their sexual orientation or gender identity, we must speak out. That is what I am doing here, that is my consistent position.

Human rights are human rights everywhere, for everyone.”

The council’s representative from Nigeria, Ositadinma Anaedu, was surprised by Ban’s statement.

“I must point out, Mr. Chair, that the (Africa) Group did not expect that the secretarygeneral would address these issues concerning lesbians, gays, bigender or indeed the issue of gender identity, as these issues have not been universally accepted,” Anaedu said.

“While we strongly support that no individual or group should be discriminated against on the basis of their sexual orientation, (this) should not be used to impose on us or on the cultural ethos of everyone that have it, especially for us in Africa. It is also important to mention that we all equally accept the relationship inherent in that orientation and that it is unique and special, but it is not and will never be accepted as marriage, which is between a man and a woman.”

Februa r y 03 , 2011 | issue 17 3 | QSa lt L a k e | 7

Qmmunity

LOCal news

Dozens attend ‘This is our Voice’ rally at Utah Capitol

Romp to Stomp Out Breast Cancer The 2011 Romp to Stomp out Breast Cancer snowshoe event will be taking place this weekend to benefit the Susan G. Komen for the Cure. Participants raise money and either do a 3k or 5k snowshoe walk or a 3k snowshoe race. The event has grown every year and now is the largest snowshoe series in the world. The gorgeous course, fun atmosphere, and free demo snowshoes from Tubbs helps to attract participants of all levels. Nearly 25 percent of participants have never snowshoed before.

When: Saturday, Feb. 5 Where: Mountain Dell Golf Course Info: http://tinyurl.com/rompstomp

By Bob Henline

The 2011 General Session of the 59th Utah State Legislature began on Monday, Jan. 24.

As one would expect, the Capitol was filled with lobbyists, special interest advocates, business people and activists. One group of activists was at the Capitol to call attention to the need for continued and expanded housing and employment protections for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer community.

Seated upon the marble steps leading from the floor of the rotunda to the upper galleries, a few dozen silent protesters held signs representing communities throughout Utah.

The signs read “I am Draper, and 70 percent of us say no more discrimination.” The demonstrators were silent, except to provide a round of applause for Sen. Ben McAdams (DSalt Lake City), when he arrived to show his support for equality in Utah.

McAdams has drafted a bill, expected to be released the first week of February, that will extend protections similar to those enacted

by Salt Lake City and 10 other municipal entities last year. McAdams said he is “not naive” about the chances of his bill passing the Utah Legislature successfully. He indicated that while he certainly hopes the bill will pass, he feels that this is an issue that merits serious discussion.

On the other side of the issue, however, stands Utah’s GOP majority with a long history of anti-gay stances. Senate President Michael Waddoups (R-Taylorsville) and House Speaker Becky Lockhart (R-Provo) have both intimated that an attempt to pass statewide protections could result in the Legislature attempting to reverse the 11 ordinances in place throughout Utah already.

When asked about this, McAdams said that it is something he “worries about” but that he hopes his colleagues realize the scope of the support for this bill. Communities from every part of the state have passed housing and employment protections, and the people overwhelmingly support it.

“Every possible constituency of this legislature supports non-discrimination. Why is the legislature still hesitating?” Eric Ethington, the event organizer, asked. Also, according to Ethington, there are voters from every community, every religious and social background, and every ethnic background that support statewide non-discrimination protections. That is the message he wanted to convey, that 70 percent of Utahns believe that it is time to extend protections to everyone.

Ethington plans to maintain a presence at

Dozens of protesters hold signs from various parts of the state showing support for gay, lesbian, bisexual and Photo by Ben McAdams transgender equality on the opening day of the Utah State Legislative Session. the Legislature during the session, sponsoring citizen lobby days on his own and in co-

operation with Equality Utah. According to him, “we have a lot of momentum.” Q

Christensen revives public policy bill feared to be anti-gay State Rep. Lavar Christensen, R-Draper, this Utah Legislative session, has revived his 2006 bill that had raised the rankles of gay and lesbian activists, who claimed Christensen was quietly and underhandedly trying to limit same-sex couples from using contractual law to protect their interests.

The American Civil Liberties Union called the 2006 bill, “likely an attempt to ban contracts between same-sex couples about such things as property, medical power of attorney and child custody.”

Even a Utah Law Review article titled the bill “An Attempt to Void Cohabitant Agreement.”

The bill is a single sentence: “An arrangement, agreement, or transaction that is unlawful or violates public policy is void and unenforceable.”

Christensen has said that the purpose of the bill is to thwart gambling and drug contracts.

During debate on the House floor in 2006, Rep. Ross Romero asked Christensen, “will the passage of this bill have the effect of precluding gay and lesbian couples from contracting, as they have, from such things as transferring assets, having property agreements, having joint trust agreements, and life estate transferring or property contracts?”

“As it relates to that specific question, the answer is, ‘no,’” Christensen responded.

“There are certain agreements that are so generic in nature that are outside, in the private community. If you want to walk into a title company and for 10 dollars purchase a

8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 17 3 | Februa r y 03 , 2011

joint tenancy deed and fill it out to whoever you want that person to be, you can do it.

If you want a durable power of attorney to make medical decisions, you can do it. Those agreements do not violate public policy.”

Christensen went on, however, to note the case Jones v. Barlow, in which the two women in a lesbian relationship filed for joint custody between Keri Jones and the biological mother, Cheryl Barlow. Christensen represented the agreement as a “de facto marriage, de facto adoption, de facto divorce in violation of public policy.”

Christensen said that issues such as public employee benefits also fell outside the bill.

“But if we have on our statute specific marriage laws, and if we have a marriage recognition policy — in that situation, if there was a conflict between the two, and the existing statute that establishes our specific policy on that specific issue, that would prevail.”

Romero objected that the bill is likely an attempt to erode the contractual rights of gay and lesbian couples, contrary to promises made by proponents, including Christensen, during the debate for Utah Constitution Amendment 3.

Terry Kogan, a professor at the University of Utah S.J. Quinney College of Law, spoke against the 2006 bill during the session, stating Christensen, “may be trying to undermine the ability of same-sex couples to protect their financial and other interests.”

The House passed HB 304 by a 53–18 vote along party lines. Due to timing, however, the bill never made it to the Senate floor.

Life is grand in Genderland Salt Lake’s premier gender-bending social night is specifically for trans youth ages 14 to 20 of all identities and their allies. This is a space for those who find typical gender boxes too restrictive. Come hang out, make friends and get info on all kinds of trans topics.

When: Tuesday, Feb. 8 WHERE: Utah Pride Center Youth Activity Center INFO: jeremy@utahpridecenter.org

Therapist Workshop The LGBTQ-Affirmative Therapist Guild of Utah will hold an interactive workshop for mental health clinicians this March. The topic will be the ethical and therapeutic options for treating clients experiencing conflicts between sexual orientation and religious background, a topic surrounded in controversy.

The workshop will discuss issues including how to assist clients while respecting their cultural background and their right to self-determination.

Lunch will be included.

WHEN: Mar. 4, 9 a.m.– 4:30 p.m.

WHERE: Highland Ridge Hospital, 7309 S. 180 West COST: $100–$150, $60 students.

Info/Registration: Jim Struve at 801-364-5700, ex. 1

Survey Says!

The Utah Pride Center is surveying members of Utah’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning community to learn what programs and services they would like to see it offer in the future. The anonymous survey seeks to identify the demographics of the population the Center serves, can be found at utahpridecenter.org.

MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELING

Utah GSAs on the rise

By Joselle Vanderhooft

The New York Times last month profiled what it saw as a phenomenon in the “isolated Utah city” of St. George: the creation of a gay-straight alliance at each of the city’s three high schools.

While the article certainly pushed Utah into the national spotlight, the clubs on which it reported are not just a fluke. GSAs have been on the rise throughout the state since April of last year, when the WashingEric Hamren ton County School District, in which St. George is located, adopted a club policy that allowed for gaystraight alliances to form. Until then, the ACLU of Utah said at the time, schools in the district frequently blocked these clubs from forming by saying they promoted sex outside marriage, which is against Utah law.

“It’s just been a steady growth since the beginning of 2010, when it was only nine clubs in high schools [across the state],” said Eric Hamren, state adviser of the Utah QSA Network, a program of the Utah Pride Center which coordinates the state’s gaystraight alliances (the Q in the title stands for “queer,” an identity that several students embrace today).

“At the start of the school year [last fall], we jumped up to nearly 30, and with the coming spring we’re hoping to add on a good 10 more clubs to that number,” he said.

In December, the GSAs organized themselves into five regions in order to more effectively work together and to foster further growth within various geographical areas. The regions are: Salt Lake Region (Tooele and Salt Lake Counties); Northern Region (Cache, Rich, Morgan, Weber, Davis and Box Elder Counties); Utah/Central Region (Utah, Juab, Millard, Sanpete and Sevier Counties); Zion/Southern Region (Washington, Iron, Beaver, Piute, Wayne, Garfield and Kane Counties); and Eastern Region (San Juan, Grand, Emery, Carbon, Uintah, Duchesne, Daggett, Summit and Wasatch Counties).

“The regions will be organized as enough clubs start in each region to sustain and operate a region,” Hamren said in a press release issued last December.

Currently, the clubs are working together on a number of projects, said Hamren.

“The focus mostly has been on teen bullying and suicide,” he said. Additionally, following this year’s National Day of Silence on April 15 (in which students

remain silent throughout the day to draw attention to anti-gay and anti-transgender violence), Hamren said that youth from all regions will meet for the Youth Empowerment Summit in Salt Lake City, where they will learn how to effectively manage their clubs and pass them on to younger students when they graduate. “[The summit] is going to be immediately followed by Queer Prom, so that way a lot of youth who couldn’t come to Queer Prom [in the past] can, because they will already be hear for the youth summit,” Hamren added.

In the meantime, GSAs continue to grow.

Currently, said Hamren, the QSA Network is focusing on getting the clubs in the Canyons and Jordan School Districts and high schools including Emery, Grantsville and Uintah. The last of these, which is located in Vernal, is being helped along by the Gay Uintah group.

“They were able to do outreach to students and locate students who wanted to get involved and start a GSA at Uintah High School,” said Hamren.

Last year, Uintah High administrators said that they were willing to entertain the idea of a GSA, but no students at that time came forward to start one.

“Pretty much everywhere where a GSA has started, those students have started telling their friends at other high schools and its spreading to other high schools,” said Hamren.

Another thing that is spreading is intolerance of bullying and harassment policies that exclude sexual orientation and gender identity. Hamren said that he would not be surprised if some GSA members would take advantage of Equality Utah’s citizen lobbyist training in order to talk to their representatives about the issue.

“That goes right along with their campaigns,” he said. “And with Sen. [Chris] Buttars’ proposal for the statewide education policy, where [school regulation] has to go through the Legislature, I think that is something they would really like to get involved in, because if everything has to go through legislation, then not a lot is going to get done.”

Buttars’ proposal, SJR 1, would make the state school board subject to the legislature and prohibit it from making any policy changes that are currently not spelled out explicitly by statute.

Thanks to the New York Times article, Hamren said that the QSA Network received donations from across the country.

He is hoping that some of this money can be used to take three students to the national Youth Empowerment Summit, an annual conference for GSA officers that will be held in Atlanta this year. Q

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LOCal news

‘I Am Equal’ project returns to Utah on 175-city tour

By Kestin Page

The I AM EQUAL project returns to Salt Lake City on Saturday, Feb. 5, at the Sheraton Hotel. The project was created by Jason Beckett and international fashion photographer Matt Spencer as a way for participants to create a dialogue on causes and issues that matter to them the most. Some of the participants are “passionate about gay and lesbian rights and protecting the youth who are struggling with sexual identity.”

“There are others who use their photo to express women’s domestic violence issues, Latino immigration rights, ending genital mutilation in Africa, and shining a light on slavery around the world. There are countless issues to discuss and many people to educate,” said Beckett.

The project was created in January 2010 and launched in July in Salt Lake City; over 600 people participated in the initial shoots. With a formal launch in Sacramento, Calif. on Jan. 6, 2011, the I AM EQUAL project began a seven-year, 175-city world tour, with the designated goal of gathering more than 100,000 individual photos of people from all walks of life.

The project has attracted wide attention from Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker and the former mayor Rocky Anderson, to

celebrities such as Chelsea Handler, host of late night talk show Chelsea Lately on the E! Cable Television Network. Handler became involved with the project in tribute to her mother, Rita Handler who passed away after a long battle with cancer four years ago.

“My mother ... was an amazing woman: considerate, caring, kindhearted and joyful. She cared about everyone with quiet compassion and expected nothing in return. She was a true leader and demonstrated the genuine power of a woman’s courage,” Handler said. “Life is about taking chances, and the people with the most gifts have a responsibility to themselves and those they can inspire, to take those chances. You never know how many people you end up paving a path for.”

Michael Jorgensen participated in one of the initial shoots and was inspired to join the cause because he felt “the group saw the big picture that equality was more than just LGBT issues or marriage equality, but human equality in general.” He said he it was important to him to get his “face out there and to be an advocate for equal rights and show support for youth struggling with their sexuality, that there were people out there who supported them.”

Utah last in gay marriage support Although Utah is dead last in support of gay marriage, according to a recent study — at only 22 percent — and that the state remains below the national average in support if gay marriage since 1994, there is still a silver lining — that number has nearly doubled in the past 14-16 years.

Nationwide, in 2010, a majority of people in 17 states are in favor of same-sex marriages. In surveys between 1994 and 1996, no states were even over 34 percent in favor. In fact, according to the Human Rights Campaign, citing research by professors of political science at Columbia University, no state had majority support of gay marriage, even as recently as 2004.

Massachusetts — the first state to legalize gay marriage — showed the most support with 62 percent in favor of same-sex marriage, up from 33 percent in the ’90s.

The New England states had the greatest support, while Southern and Plains states had the least.

The HRC report noted many more positive trends in support of gay and lesbian rights: A statistical analysis done by Nate Silver in 2008 predicted another 10 states will surpass a majority support by the year 2013.

An August 2010 CNN/Opinion Research Corporation Poll showed for the first time a majority of Americans favored marriage equality. Fifty-two percent of respondents

said that same-sex couples should have the constitutional right to marry.

Also, an August 2010 poll conducted

by GfK Roper Public Affairs & Corporate Communications for the Associated Press showed a majority of Americans support marriage equality — 52 percent said the federal government should give legal recognition to marriage between couples of the same sex.

A 2008 Gallup poll also showed a nearuniversal majority of people, 89 percent, believe gay and lesbian Americans should have equal rights in terms of job opportunities.

Support of the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell has also climbed from 44 percent in 1993 to 77 percent in December 2010 according to an ABC News/Washington Post survey.

“While the American people embrace their LGBT friends and neighbors, government remains a lagging indicator of acceptance,” HRC President Joe Solmonese said in a statement. “The numbers don’t lie. Americans want equal rights for LGBT citizens and lawmakers should heed their call.”

HRC credits the fact that the percentage of people who say they know a gay or lesbian person has climbed from 42 percent in 1992 to 77 percent today.

10 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 17 3 | Februa r y 03 , 2011

For Justin Bradley the project is more personal, “It means fighting for my rights not only in Utah, but on a national and even a global level. This project is me standing up and showing the world what I am worth.”

The project is driven by sharing of the photos through social media such as Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, and blogs. Participants are encouraged to be creative and share their photo and reasons for participating with friends, family and co-workers in an attempt to start a dialogue for change in their communities and around the world.

“Equality is, at it’s core, a conversation of equal respect and equal opportunity.

Throughout the history of civil rights, from women’s suffrage, to the civil rights movement of the 1960s, and the gay rights conversation of today, the issues being discussed are those of equal opportunity and respect, plain and simple,” said Beckett. “This project gives people ... a reason to discuss the issues that mean something to them, and [countless people] have willingly engaged in the conversation because the I AM EQUAL picture captured their attention. That’s the whole purpose of the project, to get your attention.”

To take part, participants are asked to wear a brightly colored solid shirt and come to the event ready for their photo with hair and makeup camera ready. The doors open at 11 a.m. and anyone who is registered before 9 p.m. will get a photo; event organizers recommend that those who wish to participate in the project come early in the day to avoid the last-minute rush. As this is a project to showcase individuals stepping up for human rights

and equality, there are no group pictures at this event.

Participation is free and a $20 donation is recommended to benefit the I AM EQUAL Foundation, a global scholarship initiative to bring opportunity, education and empowerment to youth from high-risk and economically depressed areas to continue their education.

“If nothing else, this project is a catalyst for education, conversation and awakening,” said Beckett.

The people who participate in this project

are a “beacon that is shattering a darkness of arrogance, indifference and apathy.” Q

The I AM EQUAL project will be at the Sheraton Hotel at 150 West 500 S. from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. on Feb. 5. Pictures take 2-5 minutes after registration, and participants will receive their picture in about a week. Anyone younger than 18 must have a parent or guardian present to sign the registration form or call 888-802-8806 ex. 503 to make special arrangements.

PHOTOS: MATT SPENCER

Utah State Sen. Ross Romero, D-Salt Lake, filmed a video for the “It Gets Better Project” on YouTube and wrote an opinion article calling gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgenger rights the “civil rights challenge of our generation.”

Romero: Gay rights the ‘civil rights challenge of our generation’ Utah State Senate Minority Leader Ross Romero celebrated Human Rights Day (what Utah calls Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s birthday) by reaching out to Utah’s lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth with an opinion piece in The Salt Lake Tribune, and by adding his voice to the “It Gets Better Project” by filming a video on YouTube.

“Today, I have a message about hope and equality for today’s students, about the civil rights challenge of our generation, namely, the cause of civil equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans,” he wrote in his Op-Ed article.

In his article, he called on Utah Gov. Gary Herbert and other legislative leaders to join him in making an “It Gets Better” video to help prevent teen suicide in the gay and transgender community.

“Teen suicide is not a solution. This

community loves you and wants you to be an adult and reach your full potential,” he said in his message. He mentioned serving with three gay and lesbian legislators on Utah’s Capitol Hill. “Remember that we stand on the shoulders of those who came before us. Whether they be Harvey Milk, Cesar Chavez or Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., things are changing and things are getting better.”

“If you need help, reach out to great community organizations like the Utah Pride Center, or Equality Utah, which help us straight allies understand the issues that are facing the gay community,” he continued.

“You deserve love and respect for who you are, and it is not until you reach adulthood that you will know exactly who you will become,” he said. “Remember, you are not alone and it gets better.”

Wyoming politicians hope to unmarry gays Wyoming’s House of Representatives passed a bill Jan. 24 to prohibit recognition of other states’ same-sex marriages and civil unions.

The vote was 32-27. The measure is expected to pass the Senate as well.

Supporters said the law is needed because while Wyoming law clearly states that only a man and a woman can marry each other, current law also recognizes other states’ legal marriages.

The Senate, meanwhile, voted 20–10 on Jan. 27 to place a measure on the November 2012 ballot to amend the state constitution to prohibit recognition of other states’ same-sex marriages. That measure would not necessarily block recognition of out-ofstate civil unions. —RW Februa r y 03 , 2011 | issue 17 3 | QSa lt L a k e | 11

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Elevation Utah attracts skiers, boarders from around the US

By Brad Di Iorio

With consistent reader’s polls ranking most of Utah’s ski resorts as America’s favorite places to visit, it is surprising that a gay and lesbian ski event hasn’t taken root and thrived in Utah. In the past two months, San Diego SAGA, SAGA North (San Francisco), and the Ski Bums (New York), have all visited Northern Utah ski resorts to partake in Utah’s renowned abundance of dry snow and easy-access resorts.

That may all change as an established event producer and promotion company presents a new Utah gay and lesbian ski and snowboard event called Elevation Utah 2011. This February 18-21, Tom Whitman Presents, a Los Angeles-based event production company, launches the inaugural event at Park City Mountain Resort, patterned after the on-going and successful Elevation Mammoth.

“I’ve skied or boarded many of the resorts around Salt Lake City, but I kinda have a soft spot for Park City because it was the first Utah resort I ever skied,” said Tom Whitman. “I came out to Park City for a weeklong training trip during my first year on the UCLA Ski Team and I loved it.”

In the works for two years, Elevation Utah will begin with a day of skiing and snowboarding on the Friday of President’s Day Weekend, followed by the first after-skiday party, or après ski, at the Sidecar, located at 333 Main St., Park City; followed a couple of hours later by a dance party at Downstairs, 625 Main St., Park City.

“Yes, we have great DJs and fun parties, but the focus is not staying out until 5 a.m.,” explained Whitman. “Our biggest events are après-ski events that happen from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. and our nighttime events only go until 1 or 2 a.m.”

12 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 17 3 | Februa r y 03 , 2011

Whitman hopes Elevation Utah will follow in the success of Elevation Mammoth which is now considered the third largest gay and lesbian ski week in North America.

Elevation Mammoth began nine years ago in Southern California, after Whitman became an event producer and had been training at Mammoth with the UCLA ski team.

“So, I did a trial year, where I basically e-mailed my list and called some friends and then waited to see what would happen. That first year we had 300 people attend, with no real marketing,” said Whitman. “And the event was fun!

Everyone had an amazing time. We all met new friends and came back with some amazing memories.”

Elevation Mammoth now attracts over 2000 skiers and boarders each March. “[Elevation Utah] is a weekend for guys who are friendly, fun, and have a common interest in boarding or skiing,” said Whitman. “You’ll meet tons of hot guys from around the country. But you’ll probably be in bed at a (relatively) decent hour so that you can ski the next day.”

As Park City is known as Utah’s most progressive town, many of the businesses and bars are ready to welcome Elevation attendees, as well as the ski resort.

Ski OUT Utah, Utah’s gay and lesbian ski and snowboard club, will also lend a hand as mountain ambassadors or guides.

“The guys who have made Mammoth so successful are the most fun, friendly, unpretentious gay guys in the world. You meet amazing new people each year,” Whitman said. “People let down their guard and lose their attitude when they get to the event. They start conversations and don’t “stand and model” at the bar like they might in their hometown gay bar.”

Women are welcome too. The Elevation Mammoth team actively created ‘women only’ events when they first started, but they haven’t caught on. Maybe Utah will be different.

“The Elevation staff are some of the friendliest guys and girls in the world, and we’re just excited to get this first year under way,” added Whitman. “We are bringing out some of my favorite L.A. deejays, as well as some of my favorite L.A. go-go dancers.”

Local Utah DJ, Christopher Barnes will be in the mix, spinning at the ski-après events on Friday and Saturday, 4-7 p.m. at Sidecar.

Whitman has become the most successful gay event producer and promoter in Southern California, producing gay party events at Los Angeles nightclubs and larger annual events and fundraisers, including Wonderland, an outside, summer evening, dance party on the back lot of Paramount studios, Cherry Pop, a weekly Saturday hot spot in West Hollywood, an annual Los Angeles’s Pride Event and Elevation Mammoth.

“I’ve raised money and produced events for most of the community organizations in L.A., and I’m honored this year to be the Chairman of the Board of Directors of AIDS Project Los Angeles,” said Whitman. “My events have raised more than 1.5 million dollars in the last 6 years.”

It is Whitman’s hope that Utah community charities will also benefit in the upcoming years if Elevation Utah is a success.

For a full list of events and to buy tickets, go to www.utahgayski. com or at facebook.com/ElevationUtah.

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Februa r y 03 , 2011 | issue 17 3 | QSa lt L a k e | 13

OURVIews

Question of the issue

the straight line Is equality really that difficult?

❝❝What was your

favorite Valentine’s Day and what did you do?

Holly Palmer Valentines 2004, I threw a “Fuck Valentines Day” Party, complete with a “BlackHeart Cocktail,” cut-up heart soaps and a bad love songs mix cd. Ironically at the party, I met someone who I wound up dating for a few weeks.

By Bob Henline

T

he actions of Utah’s idiot-right never cease to amaze me. As the Utah Legislature began its “work” this year, a number of such idiotic actions come to mind. I’m going to skip Carl Wimmer’s (R-Herriman) ongoing fascination with Browning Arms and Chris Buttars’ (RWest Jordan) endless quest to make Utah’s children as ignorant as himself. Let’s talk about something at a much more fundamental level: basic equality.

Over the past year eleven Utah municipal governments, scattered across the state, from the very north to the very south, large cities and small towns, have passed ordinances to provide non-discrimination protections for their LGBTQ citizens. Polls are showing that 70 percent of Utah voters believe that it is time for the Legislature to pass similar protections at the state level. The LDS Church went so far as to endorse the ordinance passed in Salt Lake City — one would assume that means they would support a similar ordinance statewide.

The obvious question is why do statewide protections not currently exist in Utah? The more subtle question, however, is why are members of the Legislature trying to undermine these protections and create even greater inequalities?

Take for example State Representative LaVar Christensen’s pathetic HB182 — “Voiding Transactions Against Public Policy.”

This bill enacts the following: “Void and unenforceable agreements. An arrangement, agreement, or transaction that is unlawful

or violates public policy is void and unenforceable.”

That’s the entire bill, folks. I first looked at that and shook my head in a bit of confusion.

What is this about, I wondered. Then I dug a bit deeper. Same-sex couples in Utah can’t marry, hence, they don’t have survivorship rights to “joint” estates, property, etc. Many couples enter into contracts in order to pro-

Really? Is it that hard for these bigots to accept that we are all equal? vide some long-term protections to their same-sex partners, in defiance of “public policy.” This bill, if passed, would put an end to that practice and put the rights of a surviving partner at the mercy of the family of the deceased. Not always the best situation.

I spoke with Senator Ben McAdams last

Support Your Advertisers Who Bring QSaltLake to You Free of Charge and tell them

‘QSaltLake Sent Me!’ 1 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 17 3 | Februa r y 03 , 2011

week at the Capitol regarding his bill (soon to be introduced) which would extend housing and employment protections to the LGBTQ community. He expressed a bit of worry that the Legislature might just go the opposite direction and attempt to undo the ordinances passed by the various municipalities last year.

Really? Is it that hard for these bigots to accept that we are all equal? I’m an atheist, so I don’t buy into the “endowed by their Creator” stuff, and I like to think that “all men” references “all humans,” but I still believe the basic premise of the Declaration of Independence, that we are all equal. As such, we all have equal rights. The only time anyone’s rights should be limited is when the exercise of said right adversely impacts someone else or society.

So, can someone please tell me how an individual or society is adversely impacted by a married gay couple? Can you explain how it would be in society’s best interest to void a contract between two people that would provide for one in the event of the other’s death?

Please tell me how society benefits by allowing housing and employment discrimination on the basis of gender identity or sexual orientation.

I beat on this dead horse in my last two columns, and I’m going to say it again. The Utah Legislature is going to be making decisions that will impact your lives. The way things are looking right now, a good deal of this nonsense is going to be slipped under the radar with innocuous-sounding little bills like 182. If you don’t want to see your rights tromped on more than they already are, you need to be aware, and you need to be involved. Q Bob Henline is a straight man. Don’t hold that against him — he was born that way. He is also a professional author and editor. His blog can be read at nonpart.org, and he can be reached at bob@nonpart.org.

Andy Cardenas February 1994. My partner took me to Russian River for a weekend. Booked a resort room with no phone, TV. Just us, take-out dinner and a fireplace. Eighteen years later we’re still together.

Simon Bre February 2001, the first one after meeting TJ (my partner of 10 years). He brought me one single flower from his garden. And I did not run away screaming, like I would have done with anyone before him. It’s one of the early memories of my realization that he was “the one.”

Joshua Lowell I came home and saw that my boyfriend whom I had broken up with a month before had moved out.

Ah, the feeling of freedom!

Brandon Burt I was dating a very sweet guy named David.

I made a goofy Valentine out of brand-name candy (“How about a ‘Bit-o-Honey,’ you ‘Big Hunk’?” etc.). Knowing I love Prokofiev, he took me to Ballet West’s Romeo & Juliet, and we held hands -- beneath a jacket!

(Hey, it was 1989.)

I

who’s your daddy?

Be his daddy

By Christopher Katis

recently had a realization: society is structured so that all the men teach all the boys how to be men (and all women teach all the girls how to be women).

Maybe this was obvious to everyone else, but for me it was being a dad that provided this “a-ha” moment. I recognized that the way I interact with my kids has been influenced by a lot more men than just my dad.

There were my uncles, my brothers, my cousins and hundreds of other men.

Literally almost every man with whom I came into contact as a boy influenced the man I was going to become. I’m not talking about mentoring. Because mentors tend to be good role models, who help you develop. I’m talking about the everyday lessons about manhood I picked up.

My dad taught me how to be a responsible adult by always providing for his family. But so did my best friend’s deadbeat dad, who didn’t pay his child support. My friend Anne’s dad provided me one example of how to deal with kids by embracing and encouraging every single child in our neighborhood; as did our mutual neighbor, who constantly demeaned and belittled his own three children.

All these guys, all the extremes they represented, subconsciously helped me determine the man I wanted to be. All of them in one way or another were a type of father to me.

Then it dawned on me: none of them, not one of them, taught me how to be a gay man. I’m not talking about sexually. That, well, that comes naturally. But being a gay man or a lesbian woman extends well beyond what we do behind closed doors.

I’m not alone in my realization. Over the holidays I was talking with my friend Dan. He’s a 20-year old college student, gay, and a big fan of this column. He’s only out to a handful of people. And he told me he has no idea what it means to be a gay man.

It made me recognize that all of the gay men out there need to start being dads to younger guys like Dan. And no, I am not talking about being their “daddies.”

Yes, the role gay men play in the lives of other males has changed dramatically since I was Dan’s age. But the deck is still stacked against us.

Dan’s struggling with everything from

how being gay influences his relationship with God to how open he should be with his family and friends. To me, the questions he’s asking himself prove that in subtle ways, the straight men in his life have influenced him. But where is the gay influence?

Dan’s not alone. There are literally thousands of young gay men and boys, and young lesbian women and girls, who need to learn what it means to be a gay or lesbian adult.

I’ve written in past columns how circumstances related to my boys force me to come out to people I otherwise wouldn’t — teachers, other parents, etc. But I’m also showing their friends and classmates how to be a gay man. And as these kids get older, and sexuality starts to become more defined, consciously or not, those who are gay will be looking to me to show them what’s involved in being a gay man. And every gay man has an opportunity to do the same.

Only other gay men can show these kids what life can hold for them. Whether it’s a long-term, monogamous relationship or a different day/a different dude lifestyle, being open to examination of your life is key.

Allowing young people to see you as a rainbow flag-waving, finger-snapping queen or a closeted, face-painted football fan doesn’t matter. What’s important is that they see the entire spectrum of gay men. Let them determine the gay men they want to be after seeing all the choices out there.

No two gay men are exactly alike — not even those Castro Clones. Nor are any two lesbians. And that’s what makes our community so absolutely amazing. Think about it: Liberace and Ricky Martin; baseball player Billy Beane and John Waters; Gertrude Stein and Portia DeGeneres.

When kids see gay people interacting, when they’re allowed to ask questions and receive honest answers, they gain an opportunity to reflect on the person they want to become. And that’s an amazing thing.

I hope I help Dan in discovering the gay man he wants to be. I hope all the other gay men out there will do the same for him and the other boys like him. It’s an amazing opportunity to help our community grow and thrive, and just maybe someone will call you daddy. Q

I hope I help Dan in discovering the gay man he wants to be

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our views

lambda lore Coming out a generation ago

By Ben Williams

W

e all know that “coming out” is a process, although most of us have a defining moment from which we choose to celebrate an anniversary of sorts. Perhaps it’s telling your best friend, your folks, or attending Gay Pride Day. Mine was in bed with two other fellows talking about our fathers.

Now, I am not telling you this to be salacious nor to boast, but just to explain that I had a conscious realization 25 years ago that what I truly desired was not random sex but rather an association with other gay people. I desperately wanted to have the feeling of belonging. I don’t know if it’s true today whether coming out has the same impact on gay people as it did 25 years ago when I came out and stayed out.

It’s hard to explain or convey the feeling of solitary confinement that being in the closet felt like to gay people a generation ago.

Back then only a handful of movies de-

picted gays and lesbians in a positive light.

Rock Hudson had just died of AIDS and disparagingly cruel jokes were made at his expense. No gay character was on TV unless you count Billy Crystal’s Jodie character on Soap or Steve Carrington’s Dynasty character who became straight.

There was Fame but no Glee. Ellen DeGeneres had not come out. There was no Will and Grace. No constant media attention on all things LGBT. In fact there was no LGBT; only gays and lesbians. No youth groups, no gay-straight alliances, no PFLAG, no anti-discrimination laws, no thought of gay unions let alone gay marriage. Sodomy was illegal. All gay people were criminals and sexual outlaws in Utah whether we were doing it in the bushes or in our bedrooms.

Salt Lake City’s housing ordinances prevented same-sex men renting one-bedroom apartments. It was pretty dismal but also exciting because it kind of felt like we were living in war time.

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A generation ago, when I came out, being gay was nearly considered a death sentence. When gay was discussed at all it was almost synonymous with AIDS. The first time I had ever seen the word AIDS it was scrawled on a bathroom wall as an acronym for “Anally Injected Disease Syndrome.” When I told my family that I was gay they were devastated not because I was gay but they were sure that I would die of AIDS. Actually it was the fear of dying young and never being true to one’s core identity that drove many gay men, including myself, out of the closet and out of marriages entered into as a promised cure for homosexuality. A generation ago men and women coming out were leaving wives, husbands and children behind in a grief-driven Sophie’s Choice moment. Many of the support groups that sprang up at the time dealt with gay fathers, lesbian mothers, children of gay parents and spouses of gay people all trying to repair broken families.

For those coming out 25 years ago there was only one entry in the phone directory under the word gay. It was the Gay Help Line, created in 1975, and kept in operation by a variety of individuals through the years. The Gay Help Line informed those “coming out” of the few support groups like Affirmation and Lesbian and Gay Student Union at the University of Utah, the locations of bars, and also served as a suicide prevention line. One of the most harrowing calls I was told of was when a operator was thanked by a caller for listening to his anguished story, and then he heard a gunshot on the other end. A generation ago suicide was rampant, but only known among the friends and families affected. No one posted an obituary mentioning suicide or AIDS or being gay. In fact, straights kind of expected gays to “bump themselves off” at the end.

Health resources for gays, though there were several, were primitive 25 years ago.

They included the Salt Lake County VD Clinic, Gay Alcoholics Anonymous, The AIDS Hot Line, Community Service Clinic, and the fledgling Utah AIDS Project and Salt Lake AIDS Foundation.

A generation ago there was a small, nearly underground, but vibrant gay community if one knew where to look. Without any true center of the community to help people with coming out, the bars and taverns of Utah offered a sense of belonging for those adventurous enough to maneuver the sponsorship system of getting into a bar.

A generation ago there were seven bars in Salt Lake City that catered to gays and lesbians, while Ogden had two. The Salt Lake City bars included The Sun, the InBetween, Backstreet, the Deerhunter, Reflections, Radio City Lounge and Puss and Boots. Ogden’s bars were the Blue Horizon and the Wall Street Journal.

These bars were not particularly “straight friendly” due to the fact that heterosexuals saw these spots as “freaky plac-

es.” In fact the In-Between kept a sign posted on its front door saying that it was a gay establishment and that if you are easily offended, stay out! The Sun was probably the most famous gay bar in the state a generation ago, and many straights, accompanied by gay friends, would go for the fabulous dance floor. Long lines formed outside The Sun waiting to get in and those in line often had to endure derogatory epithets hurled at them by cars racing by. Sometimes more than epithets were thrown.

A generation ago, while all the bars allowed both gay men and women to enter, patrons of the bars tried to keep them exclusive to one gender or the other. Puss N Boots and The Deerhunter were the most notorious. Puss N Boots was a lesbian bar and The Deerhunter was a levi-leather man’s bar. The ideas of “safe space” and “territory” were very important among people that felt isolated in the outside world.

A generation ago Salt Lake City boasted two gay bath houses that served as afterhour party places. Jeff’s Gym located on 17th South and 7th West, and Club 14 at 14th West and 2nd South. These places served as semi-safe places for gay men to meet and have sex outside of the parks and slough of clandestine toilets. These places also served as social outlets for many who would never go to a bar. Outside of Man To Man, which was Utah’s only Gay owned telephone dating service, the bath houses were they only places where gay men could go for sexual release. For many gay men, even those out of the closet, a “boyfriend” relationship with someone was simply not feasible due to society’s restraint on men living together.

A generation ago there was a dearth of places for lesbians to meet. Organizations were secretive and knowledge of them was strictly by word of mouth. Outside of Puss N Boots house parties were where women mostly met other women. A few social groups that survived the death of 20 Jacob Rue and Women Aware were Women On Weekends, Order of the Rose and OWLSOlder and Wiser Lesbians.

A generation ago the choices for recreation was The Salt Lake Men’s Chorus, the Gay Rodeo Association, Wasatch Leathermen and the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire. There were no other sports leagues, performing groups or organized activities.

While a generation ago there was no barrage of gay media outlets and no Internet, Salt Lake City did have what larger cities did not — Concerning Gays and Lesbians.

This was a locally produced news and information program broadcast on KRCL. Also, since 1975 there had been locally operated newspapers or magazines in Salt Lake City. These printed papers could be found in all the bars and a few gay-friendly businesses such as the Cosmic Aeroplane, The Waking Owl Book Store and the Kite Shop.

And that is how it was a generation ago. Q

16 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 17 3 | Februa r y 03 , 2011

S

mountain meadow mascara Porn free!

By Ruby Ridge

o petals, it’s been over a month since New Year and I have to inquire on how your New Year’s resolutions are holding up? For me, my goal to eat more vegetables imploded after about five days, and now I’m at that stage of denial where I can justify chicken fried steak smothered in country gravy simply because it has peppercorns in it.

That method of alleviating cognitive dissonance may not come naturally to untrained thinkers like you cherubs, but under the universal principles of Ruby Ridge logic, it’s a very easy and fun-filled linear-ish progression. Peppercorns come from plants ... some plants are vegetables ... vegetables are good for you ... therefore any dish with peppercorns should be tax-deductible under the new Federal health care provisions ... which in my fevered mind makes a Country Skillet essentially health food. There! Crisis of conscience averted! Pass the peppered bacon.

Speaking of breakfast, kittens, I was reading an editorial in the Deseret News this morning (and seriously, can’t we all just admit that since their media consolidation/news purge that the newspaper is just one giant editorial at this point?) that Marriott International has finally eliminated selling on-demand porn in their 600,000 rooms.

The authors were doing victory laps and cartwheels about the group’s decision as proof of a blow back against pornography and the power of morally directed boycotts. But they conveniently glossed over the main point of supply-and-demand. Why would anyone pay $15 or whatever for hotel porn when you can get internet porn for free? In this modern, connected world, Joe Q Businessman can access all the SWILF (Sister Wives I’d like to F*#%) action they can handle via their laptop and a WiFi connection, without all of the embarrassing line items and taxes billed to their checkout summary. I’m sure Marriott’s demand for porn plummeted as the invisible lubed hand of the free market prevailed (al-

though I’m pretty sure their fixed costs for Kleenex and clean towels probably stayed about the same!).

You know me, petals, I see a conspiracy behind every grassy knoll and book depository, so I wasn’t surprised to hear Marriott’s decision came just two weeks after Mitt Romney (perennial Presidential candidate and fierce hairspray advocate) resigned from the Board of Marriott International. Timely coincidence, pumpkins?

I doubt it. I think the Mittster is tying up all the loose ends that could damage his chances in the primary voting, especially with those mouthy Christian Moralists that already don’t trust him for being a Mormon. I on the other hand have never trusted him since he flooded Rice Eccles Stadium with those creepy Children of Light and those glowing bowling ball bags of the Salt Lake Winter Games…almost a decade later I’m still wondering exactly what the hell was that!).

But I digress. ...

My other New Year’s goal was to work out more and do some cardio. Since Jan. 1, I have been doing my Spin classes religiously, and by religiously I mean praying to God that I don’t have a cardiac arrest somewhere between the sprints and the cool down.

Maybe it’s just my odd physiology, but those bikes just don’t accommodate my voluptuous Ruebenesque curves, or my ball sack if we are being brutally honest. I think I would do better if my bike had a tractor seat. And while we are on the topic of ergonomics and product design, why the hell can’t those smart-ass designers add a tray to the drink carrier? I’m tired of bringing my own clip on Sonic Burger tray to Spin class just to hold my French fries. Good luck with your resolutions, babies! Ciao! Q

Why would anyone pay $15 or whatever for hotel porn when you can get internet porn for free?

You can see Ruby Ridge and the Matrons of Mayhem in all of their polyester glory at Third Friday Bingo (every Third Friday of the month at 7pm) at First Baptist Church (777 South 1300 East).

Februa r y 03 , 2011 | issue 17 3 | QSa lt L a k e | 17

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Y

creep of the week Gordon Klingenschmitt

By D’Anne Witkowski

ou know what gay people need?

Exorcisms. It’s the only way to get rid of the gay-making demon lurking in the homosexual soul.

And who better to do that exorcism than Gordon Klingenschmitt, an ex-Navy chaplain, booted out of the military for insubordination? After all, he has a great track record, according to himself.

“As a chaplain I prayed with a young lesbian sailor who came to me and said, ‘Chaplain I don’t like the way I’m feeling, can you help me with this?’ We prayed with her,” Klingenschmitt said on The David Pakman Show, Jan. 20. “She renounced her sin. She invited Jesus Christ to be the first man in her life that she trusted. We had a wedding ceremony. She wept as Jesus moved into her heart and got the devil out of her.”

I’m sorry, what? You had a wedding ceremony? So this lesbian Navy lady married Jesus? So does that mean Jesus is officially

off the market? Or do a lot of ladies marry Jesus and, if so, isn’t that polygamy? How, then, is this all-the-ladies-marry-one-dude scenario not the culmination of so many slippery-slope arguments against marriage equality?

“When I looked into her eyes I said, ‘You foul demon of lesbian homosexuality come out of this woman in Jesus’ name.’ She began to weep and said she loved Jesus,” Klingenschmitt continued. “She started reading her Bible, she was the best evangelist in our church. She got baptized and she started dating boys.”

Okay, wait. After he exorcised the “foul demon of lesbian homosexuality” out of her she was baptized and started dating boys?

Presumably this woman was over 18 since she was in the military and all. So I’d think that boys are a little out of her league. And again, isn’t the anti-gay right always going on and on about how gay people go after children? But it’s somehow OK with God

when the adults going after children are ex-gay and married to Jesus?

I might be over-thinking this.

Needless to say, Klingenschmitt doesn’t like the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell one bit. It’s going to destroy us, he says.

“It’s going to lead to a national draft. The number of homosexuals coming in will never eclipse the mass exodus of Christians leaving the military,” he told Pakman.

I wonder when Christians are planning this mass exodus and where they plan on going. So far there’s no evidence of Christian soldiers fleeing the demon-infested homos that the DADT repeal will foist upon the armed forces. If they are indeed leaving, they seem to be going pretty quietly.

“Not only that, it’s going to cost the blessing of God upon our troops,” Klingenschmitt continues. Everybody knows that God loves America best and helps American soldiers kill, kill, kill. But the tables

are turned, he argues.

“I’m concerned as a chaplain that America will no longer be able to fight and win wars because now we’re fighting against almighty God; the government has declared war on God and god will ultimately prevail in that battle.”

Klingenschmitt claims that DADT was a good policy “in that it prevented people from lying about who they really are.” Because homosexuals are, by Klingenschmitt’s definition, a bunch of dirty crooks who think nothing of waking up and declaring that they’re going to be someone else today. Someone gay. Klingenschmitt said gay men need to “man up” and start being straight and stop acting like women.

And then, of course, for our complimentary exorcism: “It’s the only spiritual solution to a spiritual disease,” says Klingenschmitt.

Anti-gay exorcism: It’s the gift that keeps on giving. Order yours today. Q

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Februa r y 03 , 2011 | issue 17 3 | QSa lt L a k e | 19

COVER FE ATURE

F

or decades, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Mormons, and former Mormons, have written on the impact the LDS Church’s teachings about homosexuality have had on their lives. Now their ranks are being joined by a straight BYU law student whose book on the subject is calling for both compassion and rigorous scientific examination on discussions about homosexuality.

The author of Homosexuality: A Straight BYU Student’s Perspective is Brad Carmack, 27, a 2011 juris doctorate and Masters of Public Administration candidate. As a workin-progress that Carmack has printed and sold at the school’s book store, the book looks at recent biological research into homosexuality, statements by church leaders, LDS doctrine, and the cases for and against civil and eccle-

Some of the points Carmack explores are: studies that suggest identical twins share sexual orientations; studies that have shown that gay men frequently have older brothers; observations of homosexual behavior among animals; and research indicating that homosexuality may “run in families.”

For example, Bill Bradshaw’s research into biology and sexual orientation found that gay men are “about three times more likely to have gay brothers than are heterosexual men (9 percent compared to about 3 percent in the general population)” while lesbians were also likely to have lesbian sisters.

Carmack also discusses homosexuality in terms of two LDS doctrines: that of human free agency and that the atonement of Jesus Christ for humanity’s sins gives gays and lesbians sufficient grace to become straight.

In discussing the latter, Carmack quoted from a discussion he had with visitors to his blog.

“Seth notes that the atonement can reverse death, and thus it can reverse sexual orientation, since orientation reversal is certainly less impressive than death reversal,” he wrote.

Granted, the Atonement can do so. So what? What matters to a decision maker is what God will do, not merely what he can do. If you’re the only person around for miles except for a child that is drowning in a steep canal, and you can throw the kid a rope to save her but DO not, the kid will still drown. The question for a homosexually oriented person, then, turns to the likelihood of God’s intervention to reverse his/her orientation. I draw on Mark’s comparison to death. I hope it’s not an exaggeration to claim that death reversal rates have historically been less than .01 percent. In most cases we know of, the death reversal was also not readily predictable by the subject. Thus if God’s sexual orientation-reversal-intervention-rate is at this same level, a reasonable homosexually oriented person is justified in placing little confidence, not in God’s capacity to reverse his/her orientation, but in God’s likelihood of doing so for him or her.”

Carmack also explores arguments in favor of gay marriage — a position with which Carmack, who has previously volunteered in campaigns opposing Maine’s same-sex marriage bill, said he does not necessarily agree.

The amount of suffering is not necessary and not Christian, and I think the world would be better if there was greater compassion, less homophobia and, I would argue, more research

BYU student offers straight perspective on homosexuality

By Joselle Vanderhooft

the lectures piqued his curiosity about the science behind homosexuality, and led him to write about it on his bioethics blog.

“I’m very curious,” he said. “Sometimes when I start learning I keep researching. The more I researched, the more I became aware of this contingent of homosexually-oriented people, especially at my church,” he said. “A lot have self-loathing, some have had depression, and the doctrines of the church paint them into a corner.”

The doctrines to which Carmack refers are statements by LDS leaders over the past four decades which have compared homosexuality to a disease, have called it freely chosen, and have said it is the result of Satanic influence and bad parenting. In the book’s first section, which argues that LDS people should treat gays and lesbians with compassion, Carmack quotes several former and current gay and lesbian Mormons about the pain these teachings have caused them.

“I remember intentionally souring personal relationships with people in my life because they expressed romantic interest and I dared not simply decline out of immense fear that this would somehow give me away as one with ‘unclean desires,’” wrote one such member (who, like the majority of the book’s homosexual subjects, is not identified by name.)

“And so I was mean,” the anonymous subject continued. “I was hurtful. I pushed people away — away from me, and away from my secret. Indeed there was pain and suffering! Oh the regret. I remember the nights where I would lock my bedroom door, crawl into my closet, and behind the safety of the closet doors plead aloud ‘Lord why me? Why hast thou forsaken me? I feel so alone. If thou will provide a way, any way, to overcome this I will do all that you ask.’”

“The amount of suffering [they experience] is not necessary and not Christian, and I think the world would be better if there was greater compassion, less homophobia and, I would argue, more research,” said Carmack.

The second part of Homosexuality: A Straight BYU Student’s Perspective delves into the biological research behind homosexuality, and the ways in which this research plays out against ideas that gay and lesbian sexual orientation is chosen, or caused by abuse.

siastical same-sex marriage.

“Though I intend this book to be a mildly apologetic, faith-based response from a seventh-generation Latter-day Saint, in it I will reach some tentative conclusions that the reader may as of right now disagree with,” Carmack wrote in the book’s introduction. “I invite all readers to suspend present views long enough to openly consider the support I will give for the conclusions herein. This reading will be worth little unless you do, because if one’s conclusions are already set, presented evidence is likely to result only in polarizing further the stance already taken.”

Carmack, who holds a bachelors degree in biology from the same school, said that he felt compelled to research and write about homosexuality after hearing two lectures by BYU professor Bill Bradshaw on the biological origins of homosexuality. Carmack said

20 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 17 3 | Februa r y 03 , 2011

“That a strong moral case for LDS SSM [same-sex marriage] exists does not necessarily imply that the moral case against SSM is weaker,” he wrote. “A key outcome of a successful education is the ability to make a persuasive argument advancing a proposition with which one personally disagrees. If successful, my rigorous presentation of the pro-SSM position will help traditional marriage defenders sharpen their advocacy as a consequence of understanding their opposition better.”

Although Carmack stressed throughout the book that he did not disagree with current LDS teaching about homosexuality and does not promote gay sex, he said that he has received criticism from many members of the BYU community.

“Some praise it, others condemn it.

Definitely more condemnation,” he said.

“I’ve been spoken to by a couple deans here who say they can’t protect me if my bishop or honor code office takes action. I live every day in fear, I’m very scared. The danger would probably come from one of those two areas, but I haven’t been spoken to or directly threatened.”

BYU’s honor code prohibits advocating

homosexual sex and stresses that students of all sexual orientations must abstain from sex outside of marriage. However, it does not state that students will be expelled just for being attracted to the same sex.

Carmack said that he thinks he has received an excellent education at BYU, and credits that education with his ability to think through the topics he discusses in Homosexuality: A Straight BYU Student’s Perspective. However, he said he is frustrated at the school’s unwillingness to discuss the questions his book poses. Noting that BYU is building a school of business ethics he called upon the school to be “a model ethical institution.”

“The point is an agency that provides guidance for others on being ethical has to itself internally be a model ethical institution,” he

said. “Part of being ethical is fulfilling the duty to respect human freedoms and rights, amongst of which are freedoms of speech, conscience, assembly, religion, etc. You don’t see that here. The honor code explicitly has it that if you start out [as an] LDS [student], the only way you can graduate is if you leave LDS. That does not look like religious freedom. ... There needs to be a provision that LDS [students] can pay higher tuition [as non-LDS students at the school currently do] if they decide to be another religion rather than saying we’re not going to let you graduate.”

“You come to university to explore difficult issues and broaden your education, but there’s a hush-hush atmosphere about certain issues [here],” he continued. “It creates this culture of fear. ... I don’t think we’ll make

You come to university to explore difficult issues and broaden your education, but there’s a hushhush atmosphere about certain issues

progress on exploring these difficult issues, including homosexuality, until we talk about controversial subjects.”

Carmack said that he has several friends who want to have discussions about such “difficult issues” or who want to leave the church “but they keep putting their rear ends in the pew because they want to graduate.

When you incentivize religious activity based on whether you’re going to withdraw their ability to graduate, that’s a problem.”

BYU, he said, needs to discuss the issue of homosexuality because it is not going away any time soon.

“The church is so involved in opposing same-sex in Alaska, Hawaii and twice in California,” he said, referring to the church’s backing of both 2008’s Proposition 8 and a 2000 initiative to ban gay marriage in the state. “It’s [going] to become increasingly controversial and less tenable as time goes on.

In 30 and 40 years, most Americans are going to look back on gay marriage and wonder why they opposed it, just like [they opposed] interracial marriage. But it’s not there yet.” Q

Copies of “Homosexuality: A Straight BYU Student’s Perspective” can be purchased by contacting homosexualityperspective@yahoo.com.

BYU’s changing honor code re: homosexuality In 2007, a change in Brigham Young university’s honor code drew a lot of press attention. Subsequent tweaks, however, have gone largely unnoticed by the media, including the complete removal of “advocacy” prohibitions.

Before 2007 change

2007–2010

Changes in 2010

2010–2011

Homosexual Behavior or Advocacy

Homosexual Behavior or Advocacy

Homosexual Behavior or Advocacy

Homosexual Behavior

Brigham Young University will respond to student behavior rather than to feelings or orientation. Students can be enrolled at the University and remain in good Honor Code standing if they maintain a current ecclesiastical endorsement and conduct their lives in a manner consistent with gospel principles and the Honor Code. Advocacy of a homosexual lifestyle (whether implied or explicit) or any behaviors that indicate homosexual conduct, including those not sexual in nature, are inappropriate and violate the Honor Code. http://newsnet.byu.edu/story.cfm/64155

Brigham Young University will respond to homosexual behavior rather than to feelings or orientation and welcomes as full members of the university community all whose behavior meets university standards. Members of the university community can remain in good Honor Code standing if they conduct their lives in a manner consistent with gospel principles and the Honor Code.

One’s stated sexual orientation is not an Honor Code issue. However, the Honor Code requires all members of the university community to manifest a strict commitment to the law of chastity. Homosexual behavior or advocacy of homosexual behavior are inappropriate and violate the Honor Code. Homosexual behavior includes not only sexual relations between members of the same sex, but all forms of physical intimacy that give expression to homosexual feelings. Advocacy includes seeking to influence others to engage in homosexual behavior or promoting homosexual relations as being morally acceptable.

Brigham Young University will respond to homosexual behavior rather than to feelings or attraction and welcomes as full members of the university community all whose behavior meets university standards. Members of the university community can remain in good Honor Code standing if they conduct their lives in a manner consistent with gospel principles and the Honor Code.

One’s stated same-gender attraction is not an Honor Code issue. However, the Honor Code requires all members of the university community to manifest a strict commitment to the law of chastity. Homosexual behavior and/or advocacy of homosexual behavior are is inappropriate and violates the Honor Code.

Homosexual behavior includes not only sexual relations between members of the same sex, but all forms of physical intimacy that give expression to homosexual feelings. Advocacy includes seeking to influence others to engage in homosexual behavior or promoting homosexual relations as being morally acceptable.

http://newsnet.byu.edu/story.cfm/64155

http://saas.byu.edu/catalog/2009-2010ucat/GeneralInfo/ HonorCode.php

Brigham Young University will respond to homosexual behavior rather than to feelings or attraction and welcomes as full members of the university community all whose behavior meets university standards. Members of the university community can remain in good Honor Code standing if they conduct their lives in a manner consistent with gospel principles and the Honor Code.

One’s stated same-gender attraction is not an Honor Code issue. However, the Honor Code requires all members of the university community to manifest a strict commitment to the law of chastity. Homosexual behavior is inappropriate and violates the Honor Code. Homosexual behavior includes not only sexual relations between members of the same sex, but all forms of physical intimacy that give expression to homosexual feelings. http://saas.byu.edu/catalog/2010-2011ucat/GeneralInfo/ HonorCode.php

Februa r y 03 , 2011 | issue 17 3 | QSa lt L a k e | 21

WEDDING GIVE AWAY

Meet this year’s wedding winners

by Michael Aaron

W

hen I announced a little over a year ago that I wanted QSaltLake to give away a gay wedding, there was a hush in the room for a moment, then a bunch of smiles overtook the faces looking at me. It was only the beginning of the smiles we would see as we spread the word around.

One wedding down and ready to tackle our second, we put the word out in December to make your case as to why you should be awarded this year’s wedding ceremony. The first response we received was from a couple who came in a closesecond for last year’s choice.

And here they are on top this year.

I first met Kamrin in 2004, just before we printed our very first issue. Somehow he’d heard about us before we even hit the streets and told us that he was scheduled to go onto Dr. Phil with his then-wife on an episode dealing with “mixedorientation marriage.”

The news producers at KUTV found out that a local man would be on Dr. Phil by reading the pages of this newspaper (after they sobered up from our launch party).

Kamrin was just coming out at the age of 23 and was doing it in a big way.

He met Manuel shortly after that and together they began jumping hurdle after hurdle thrown at them.

“At the time when we met, my family was in shock over the

22 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 17 3 | Februa r y 03 , 2011

fact that their first member in six generations had not only left the LDS faith, but that he was leaving his wife for a man,” Kamrin said. “We have worked over the years to go from not even being welcome in their homes to now being fully embraced and supported by most every member of the family.”

‘Had we been a straight couple, a marriage would have kept Manuel in the country without any hassle’ Then came the issue of Manuel’s immigration status.

“Had we been a straight couple, a marriage would have kept Manuel in the country without any hassle, but because of our situation, the hoops, money and legal efforts over the last six years have been the most daunting of tasks to overcome,” Kamrin said.

Manuel earned his U.S. citizenship in the latter part of 2010, something that would have been a quick run to elope in Las Vegas for a heterosexual couple.

The couple now has three children — Kamrin’s biological son and an adopted boy and girl. Because of Utah law, only Kamrin could adopt the two younger children and only if Manuel was not living with him.

The two decided to wait until all of these issues and more were ironed out for a day that they could celebrate their monumental triumph.

So, in the next few weeks, they will join each other in front of family and friends, recite vows and ... while they won’t be wed in the eyes of the state, they will be wed in each others’ eyes and the eyes of those they love.

They are currently making the big decisions of the day — who will be the wedding planner, where the wedding will take place, what the invitations will look like, and much more that they have yet to consider.

As they do, we will be right there and will print their progress in these pages.

See their entry letter on the next page. Q

If you are interested in participating in the wedding giveaway by donating items or services to the couple, please contact Brad Di Iorio at 801-649-6663, ext. 111.

Winning wedding letter Dear QSaltLake, As a minister, I am frequently gifting couples with my services when they cannot afford officiator costs within their meager budgets. I envy these unions and find it ironic that I am in the position I am, having yet to go through this life-changing ritual myself.

Seven years ago I met a man who would change my life forever. Had I known then what I know now, I would have fallen to my knees and bathed Manuel’s feet in my tears. This single individual has done more to transform my world than any other person or event. He has taken me from a self-loathing train wreck to an empowered success with nothing more than his unconditional love. The man I dedicated my life to all those years ago is still the one I love, cherish and honor above all else. He has made my every dream into a reality and has blessed me in ways that will live on forever.

Throughout our journey together we have been called to face many challenges and hardships that would have instantly destroyed the average couple. Countless times along the way I have wondered what kept him around when most people would have immediately fled at the first sign of struggle and sacrifice. We’ve somehow been able to successfully maneuver through immigration, adoption, custody, and financial and relationship issues with strength, courage and determination. Each and every time we’ve come out on top. Regardless of the seeming impossibility of the hurdle before us, we have pulled together and created a stream of miracles in our wake.

Had we been a heterosexual couple, these issues would have been accommodated for and supported by local and federal legislation which would have aided us in our various processes. As it was, we actually had laws and propositions preventing us from maneuvering through the gauntlet with any semblance of ease or grace. It was an uphill battle from the beginning.

Getting my partner his U.S. citizenship took years of unnecessary struggle to see it through to completion. We were forced to dismantle our entire lives in an effort to grow and expand our family through adoption, and then we were openly judged and condemned by the legal system as unfit and inappropriate parents within a custody dispute simply for being together.

We are now on the other side of a three-year custody case for my biological son; Manuel is officially a U.S. citizen; we all legally have the same last name; we’ve adopted two beautiful children and our financial lives are back in the black. We are moving into this new year under the rainbow of hope, peace and endless possibility. May you take all of this into consideration when you decide to remove the last and final barrier on our way to becoming a family — sealed under the sacred umbrella of matrimony and thus turning our children’s Daddy and Papi from ‘partners’ into ‘husbands.’

— Rev. Kamrin Carver

Februa r y 03 , 2011 | issue 17 3 | QSa lt L a k e | 23

LOVE We have a rose for that

ARTS&Entertainment

gay agenda

Samba Fogo Samba Queen See Feb 12

We are equal

by Tony Hobday

So I made it through this year’s Sundance Film Festival without being served a restraining order filed against me by Channing Tatum. Although I’m pretty sure he and his security detail were unaware that I kept following him into public restrooms ... you see, I’m stealthily quiet as a lion stalking its prey. Other than that, the festival seemed a bit sleepy compared to previous years ... but hey, as long as I keep having exciting bathroom memories, I’m all good!

3

thursday — Join the SLCC

Community Writing Center and the SLCC Grand Theatre for Remembering the Poetry of Tennessee Williams. This public reading will highlight the works of local poets who participated in the Putting Life into Words writing workshop, and will feature other local writers reading the works of the gay poet.

6–8pm, Main Library, 4th floor conference room, 210 E. 400 South. Free, 801-957-7522 or slcc.edu.

5

saturday — Salt Lake City will host the I AM EQUAL Project, an unprecedented human rights global photo campaign from commercial fashion photographer Matt Spencer and Jason Beckett. To participate, people are asked to be creative, wear a brightly colored shirt and come to the event ready for their photo with hair and makeup complete. The project is driven by social sharing of the photos through e-mail, Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, blogs and more. Come on girls, get your sexy on for equal rights!

11am–9pm, Sheraton Hotel, 150 W. 500 South.

Donation of $20 suggested, iamequalproject.org.

6

sunday — Well red dog my end

zone and call me a wide receiver, it’s time for Super Bowl XLV. The Pittsburgh Steelers go up against the Green Bay Packers — I’m betting on the Packers ... no, not just because of their name, but also because I want to experience some “unecessary roughness” with Aaron Rodgers ... yeah, baby!

Several of our local hangouts will be showing the big game, such as The Trapp, Club TryAngles and Paper Moon, so join the party and enjoy the game. Kick-off is at 4:30 p.m.

10

thursday — Sugar Space

presents SUITE: Women Defining Space highlights three local emerging women choreographers Joan Mann, Emily Haygeman and Elise Williams. The performance addresses the misconception that men make dances and women perform them.

Oooo, does this mean there will be a plethora of hot male dancers? If so, cha-ching!

8pm, through Feb. 12, Sugar Space, 616 E. Wilmington (2190 South). Tickets $10/adv–12/at the door, 1-888-300-7898 or thesugarspace.com.

11

friday — A commemoration

of true love — Ballet West’s The Sleeping Beauty comes alive with the enduring story of a sleeping princess, a handsome prince and the triumph of good over evil. Set to Tchaikovsky’s stirring score, this timeless classic will add a touch of romance to your Valentine’s season beginnings, even if you’re a perpetually single person.

7:30pm, through Feb. 19, Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South. Tickets $18–74, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org.

QQ Winner of the 2005 Tony Award for Best Musical, Monty Python’s Spamalot is the outrageous musical comedy lovingly ripped off from the film classic Monty Python and The Holy Grail. It tells the tale of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table as they embark on their quest for the Holy Grail. Flying cows, killer rabbits, taunting Frenchmen and showstopping musical numbers will spin your head off, but don’t worry it’s only a “flesh wound.”

8pm, tonight and Saturday, 6:30pm on Sunday, matinees on Sat. & Sun., Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Cir., UofU. Tickets $37–64.50, 801-5817100 or kingtix.com.

12

saturday — In their search for Utah’s Iron Man Choreographer, Repertory Dance Theatre’s CHARETTE runs amuck with bribery, witty improvisational choreography and mingling with celebrity judges. This dance competition is fast, fun and a fabulous fundraising event.

7:30pm, Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $35, 801-355ARTS or arttix.org.

QQ The dance form danzón is a cultural hybridization dating back to the mid-1800s and was was initially regarded as scandalous, especially when it began to be danced by all classes of the Latin society. Apparently, the

2 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 17 3 | Februa r y 03 , 2011

danzón, which later became an insipid dance for older couples, was at first danced with “obscene movements” of the hips by young couples in close embrace, with bodies touching, and by couples who might come from different races. Danzón – Luna Negra Dance Theater with the Turtle Island Quartet present an evening of this intriguing Latino artistic movement.

7:30pm, Eccles Center, 1750 Kearns Blvd., Park City.

Tickets $18–65, 435-655-3114 or ecclescenter.org.

QQ Another dance form of African origin is the Brazilian Samba, and the best part of this dance is the costumery — have to love all the beads, feathers and glitter — drag queens (and girly boys like me) love it. And that’s why Samba Fogo Dance Company is looking for both guys and dolls to enter their annual Samba Fogo Samba Queen competition.

Girlfriend, I’ve got this in the bag!

9pm, Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East. Tickets $10, 24tix.com or at the door. To register for the competition, visit sambafogo.com.

13

sunday — Artists Richard

Salcido, Frank Gonzales and Anthony Granato will have their artwork displayed for auction during the Human Rights Campaign-Utah’s Fundraiser.

The artists will also be present the night of the event to talk about their work, and personally sign their pieces for the auction winners.

6pm, Silver Queen Fine Arts, 577 Main St., Park City. Free, bids can be placed ahead of the event by calling the gallery at 435-649-6555, or e-mail info@silverqueenfineart.com.

14

MoNday — Even though

she canceled the Utah stop of her Lilith Fair last summer, I still love Sarah McLachlan. Her voice turns me to butter and sometimes straight, too. OK, not really ... I’m a 5.99999 on the Kinsey scale.

Anyhoo, seeing her in concert would be the perfect way to spend Valentine’s Day. Many loves to all my readers, you’re awesome.

7:30pm, Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Cir., UofU. Tickets $40–65, 801-581-7100 or kingtix. com.

QQ A decorated Marine officer unexpectedly returns home from the war and is quickly recruited to help a troubled teen prepare for boot camp, but when the true reasons for her return become known it threatens the future for both of them. The film A MARINE STORY highlights the absurdity of the military ban on gays through the personal story of one courageous woman.

7:30pm, Tower Theatre, 831 E. 900 South. Free, 801-359-5158 or slcfilmcemter.org.

QQ Pleasantly plump Baltimore teenager Tracy Turnblad is delighted when she wins a spot as a dancer on her favorite local TV program, The Corny Collins Show. But when Tracy tries to end the unfair practices of the show’s producer, she learns there’s more to 1960’s America than just singing and dancing ... it’s all about the Hairspray. Presented by the new arts organization CenterPoint Legacy Theatre, this production is boasted as “Broadway magic, Utah style.”

7:30pm, CenterPoint Legacy Theatre, 525 N. 400 West, Centerville. Tickets $15-18, 801-298-1302 or centerpointtheatre.org.

15

Tuesday — Local openly

gay singer-songwriter Andy Livingston had reluctantly agreed to take piano lessons as a child, but it wasn’t until he discovered the likes of Tori Amos, Elton John, Billy Joel and Enya that “I knew I had had enough of dead composers.” From the playful cabaret-stylings of “Good Old What’s His Name” to the lyrically haunting “Indigo Winter” and “Strangers Who Double As Lovers,” the songs “come from deeply personal places, and it shows when I perform them.”

7pm, Kilby Court, 750 S. Kilby Ct. Tickets $6, 801364-3538 or 24tix.com.

UPCOMING EVENTS MAR 12 Pilobolus, Park City APR 16 Lily Tomlin, Kingsbury Hall APR 20 David Sedaris, Kingsbury Hall JUL 25 Katy Perry, ESA

dvd reviews

By Tony Hobday

Role/Play I understand that good movies, or great movies, should shed wisdom ... or intellectually resolve a societal misdeed ... or present a revelation to ill-represented righteousness, but there is a fine line between one of these and that of plainly using a film as a personal soap box.

Writer/director Rob Williams’ (Make the Yuletide Gay) newest flick, Role/Play, has plenty of, if not too much, substance — as if you are actually attending a stuffy socio-political debate on Capitol Hill for nearly an hour and a half. The only respite to the long-winded debates, here, is that they are done so in Speedos around a pool or tangled up in bed sheets.

The movie stars Steve Callahan (East Side Story) and Matthew Montgomery (Pornography: A Thriller), who are in a real-life relationship.

Graham (Callahan) is a recently Internetouted soap opera star, and Trey (Montgomery) is a well-known West Hollywood marriage equality activist whose marriage to his longtime partner is on the road to divorce because of Trey’s infidelity. Graham and Trey’s mutual public scrutiny compels harborage at a small, private Palm Springs resort, to lick their wounds. From their first encounter poolside, Graham and Trey’s relationship sways from spats over community responsibilities to frivolous apologies aimed only to result in a roll in the hay ... or in their case, “a lot of cups of coffee.”

One of Trey’s many diatribes throughout the film is the disintegration of national gay media because of it’s change to featuring more prominent straight allies to increase advertising revenue. To which Graham asks: “You’re actually blaming Kylie Minogue for gay bookstores closing?”

To buffer their many arguments are the resort’s owner Alex (David Pevsner) and the ‘invisible’ guest next door, Ricky (Brian Nolan), both who offer two-dollar, sanctimonius advice.

Callahan and Montgomery give decent performances, though Montgomery sometimes doesn’t quite know what to do with his hands.

The script is uninspiring and preachy at times.

Overall, Role/Play neither sheds wisdom nor resolve; it does however conjure a wonder if Callahan and Montgomery should remain a real-life couple.

A Marine Story On the tail end of the repeal of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell military policy prohibiting openly serving as a homosexual, god speed, comes writer/ director Ned Farr’s drama A Marine Story. Set in a conservative, rural California town in 2008, this gritty, well-written story won a Best Feature award at the Outfest at Los Angeles film festival.

Alexandra (Dreya Weber) is a hard-nosed, unabated four-time deployee to Iraq, with a stoic demeanor and a man’s elocution: “I gotta use the head.” When her sexuality comes into question after e-mails sent from a supposed ex-girlfriend to her ranking officer, she faces a charge of Conduct Unbecoming an Officer. As a wife in a marriage of convenience, Alexandra’s only saving grace, according to the military, is proof of adultery, which outweighs the proof of homosexuality — it’s “the lesser of two evils.”

She leaves the service before the hearing, under an honorable discharge, and returns to

her hometown, unsure of what to do next. When her military training kicks in and she singlehandedly takes down a shoplifting couple, she apprenhensively becomes a military mentor to the 20-year old woman, Saffron (Paris Pickard).

As Alexandra prepares the young woman for boot camp, she also attempts to reconcile her sexuality while fending off local homophobes and meth addicts ... a new battlefield?

Weber’s performance is sound and believable as she struggles between the life she loves as a servicemember and her sexuality.

My one fault with the film is the abrupt ending, which feels like it was tacked on at the last moment.

Release Date: Mar. 15, $19.95, wolfevideo.com (There is a free screening of A Marine Story Feb. 14, 7 p.m., at the Tower Theatre, 876 E. 900 South.)

Release Date: Feb. 8, $15.99, tlavideo.com

Februa r y 03 , 2011 | issue 17 3 | QSa lt L a k e | 25

Christopher’s Mens Monday Half off appetizers & $7 Selected martinis. Piano bar, All night

Try our wild coconut, curried wild rice

WE’RE BACK! MON– FREE POOL TUES– $5 WINGS WED– FREE SHUFFLE BOARD THURS– $6 PITCHERS OF BUD UPSTAIRS IN OLD TROLLEY SQUARE FACING 6TH SOUTH

2148 Highland Drive

801-486-0332

OPEN AT 12 NOON

801-538-0745

www.omarsrawtopia.com

FACEBOOK.COM/ TROLLEYWINGCOMPANY

• Locally owned and operated • 6 years serving delicious Thai food • LGBT friendly • Healthy thinking, fresh eating, dine-in take-out & catering 4410 South 900 East

801.266.7899 Closed Sundays

Mon–Sat, 11:30am – 3pm Mon–Thurs, 5–9pm Fri & Sat, 5–10pm

900 South 868 East

801.355.8899

Open Sunday Dinner

DIVERSIT Y IT’S ALL ABOUT

134 W Pierpont Ave, SLC – 801.860.8515 – christophersutah.com

Food • People • Community LIVE YOUR VALUES, EMBRACE YOUR POWER, AND SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL COMMUNITY When you shop at Cali’s, you care about the highest quality organics including produce, bulk foods, coffee, teas and much more. You also value fair pricing, freshness, your local community and most importantly, YOU! 389 West 1700 South | Phone: 801-483-2254 OPEN Mon-Sat 10-7PM Sunday 10-5PM

www.calisnaturalfoods.com 26 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 17 3 | Februa r y 03 , 2011

save the date February 18–20 QUAC Ski-N-Swim quacquac.org February 27

April 15 Day of Silence dayofsilence.org April 24 PWACU’s Spring Fling pwacu.org May

UAF Oscar Night

Hey Look Us Over,

utahaids.org

Salt Lake Men’s Choir,

March 19

saltlakemenschoir.org

sWerve’s St. Patty’s Day

June 3–5

Party

Utah Pride Festival

swerveutah.com

utahpridecenter.org

April

June 23–26

Queer Prom

Utah Arts Festival

utahpridecenter.org

uaf.org

August PWACU River Trip pwacu.org August 4–7 Park City Arts Festival kimballartcenter.org August 20 Equality Utah Allies Dinner equalityutah.org To get your major event included on this list, email arts@qsaltlake.com

FOOD&DRINK

restaurant review New digs for Christopher’s Prime Steak House & Grill

By CHef Drew Ellsworth

Y

ears ago when I was a young bar was beautifully rebuilt and is adjacent to restaurateur in Salt Lake City, I upstairs dining rooms that can be sectioned was looking for equipment for my off for private parties. All the dining rooms Restaurant Dijon. In those days, the are open and spacious with high ceilings and old Salt Lake High School building on Pierpont simple, but elegant appointments. If they do Avenue was a crumbling and dilapidated struc- the right things with their food and beverages ture in the middle of downtown. It was being — there’s no reason why Christopher’s should used by a restaurant equipment company as a not become the new hot-spot in downtown Salt warehouse. And I did find what I was looking Lake City. for there — a beautiful old-fashioned pastry Adrian Alcaino hails from Chile, and seems table with a massive butcher block top. The almost too young to be the general manager of table was the focus of many of my creations as Christopher’s, but after talking to him and lisa young chef; once, my Dad brought a 90-lb. tening to his ideas, I came under his spell and lamb from Ogden Valley and we butchered it on both he and Christopher are totally immersed that table. in the re-branding of the restaurant to match its To go back to the high school building, the new environment. salesman took me on a tour and we went upRight away the chef, Anthony, who did stairs to the gymnasium which had remained in not want to use his last name, brought me remarkably good shape. The hardwood floors something that I just loved — the Lobster Corn were still intact and it reminded me of the gym Dogs — wow! at the old Weber High in Ogden. You could hear These were two large lobster fillets, skewthe echoes of cheers and see ghosts shaking ered, dipped in a light and delicious batter the pompoms of a bygone athletic scene — I’ve and then deep fried. When I bit into them, never forgotten it! the sweet flavors of the sea popped out with So, last Monday night, when I went to the mouth-watering juiciness. Normally I’d have new Christopher’s Prime Steak House & Grill, restrained myself with anything fried, but these and as I turned onto Pierpont from the west babies were delicious — there’s no getting end, all those memories came swooshing around it and I shamefully gobbled them down, back; when I entered the building, I was very, not even tempting to share them. very pleased at the look of the place. The I sat with Christopher and Adrian and we handsome architecture of frontier days adds were systematically served dish after dish — such a depth of character and nostalgia to a each of us tasting, commenting and even critidining setting — I was immediately impressed! cizing a bit. These guys really want to work on (Thank God this gem of a building has not been their food and make some real changes. They destroyed like so many of our heritage sites in brought me a yummy and beautifully made Utah — you need to go there just to look at the clam chowder which is an original recipe from ornate façade as a tribute to old Salt Lake.)

Christopher’s past in New England — it was not Christopher Patterson, who is of Greek too thick and the clams were fresh, soft and descent, is a kind and charming host, and has succulent. The flavor was excellent. been a fixture in Salt Lake for many years. He Next we tasted a Caprese salad made with was originally hired by Gastronomy strawberries in the place of to be a general manager at the first tomatoes. Although I though Christopher’s the idea was good, it didn’t Market Street Grill and Oyster Bar. Prime Steak House quite come off for me and we Since then, he has owned and opand Grill all agreed the mozzarella balls erated his own restaurant, which christophersutah.com 134 W Pierpont Ave were a bit bland. We had the for several years was in the old Open Mon–Fri 11:30–2, waiter bring some additional Peery Hotel. When Donovan’s left Daily 4:30–10pm balsamic and it did add some town, with their tail between their CHEF DREW’S SCORE: zip to the dish. legs, Christopher took no time in 90 I was served some great little pouncing on the idea of moving rolls that were heated up and to the Peirpont location. He has updated the interior with beautiful wood panel- tasted just like fresh-baked. They were served ing and accentuated the vaulted ceilings which with a small scoop of butter that was flavored with just a touch of honey. I was glad to get were the product of an earlier renovation. The décor is modern/traditional and there is a new some bread since it has almost disappeared and quite cavernous bar area where live music from so many trendy restaurants these days.

When I was taken on a tour of the kitchen, is to be performed several nights a week. The

I saw one of the pantry cooks making two beautiful salads; one was just a large wedge of iceberg lettuce topped with beautiful veggies and a good-looking dressing — I didn’t have that salad but when I go back, I’m going to ask for it.

We tried the scampi with huge hand-peeled prawns, gorgeous and delicious, and we tried the lamb, and the New York Steak with peppercorn sauce, and the Tenderloin steak topped with delicious king crab in a true Bearnaise — I say true, because so many people make it using a packet or something that is not Bearnaise at all.

We also were served two desserts — a beautifully made and presented Crème Brulee, and a delicious, French-style bread pudding. I call it French style because in French bakeries, they make pudding in a spring-form pan with a crust on the bottom and sometimes a crust on the top. The pudding was not too sweet and topped with a Whisky hard-sauce which harkens back to Southern cooking — I really liked the desserts.

There are some comments that I feel free to

make because I think Adrian and Christopher will agree with me. They were still bummed out because of a recent scathing review that got from another critic and tasting all these dishes was a great exercise for them. My critical comments would be that even though the food is beautifully prepared and made with only the most expensive ingredients, the treatments are all a bit outdated. I would find a new sauce for the New York Steak and a new treatment for the filet, and I would experiment with some new side dishes. I also think that Christopher’s needs a bit more soul in its menu—I think, because of Christopher’s Greek heritage, he could add some character to his menu by adding a few Greek elements to his cuisine, and likewise with Adrian, who is from South America; he could make some statements by using inspired ideas from his culture. Don’t get me wrong, I’m highly recommending Christopher’s, and giving it a rating of 90, but I hope they take this opportunity in their new digs to really step out and up — there’s too much competition out there to not be on the forefront of culinary creativity. Q

Februa r y 03 , 2011 | issue 17 3 | QSa lt L a k e | 27

VALENTIWINE

In a jam for Valentine’s Day?

By Chef Drew Ellsworth

I recently had the pleasure of meeting Liz Kennard Butcher who makes and sells her very unique jams and preserves. Liz presented me with the beautiful basket shown above and this morning I overdosed on jam and toast while tasting these quite unusual products. I had three large jars and four “sample-size” jars. Let me tell you about them.

First I tried the JC Schmokin Cherry — it actually looks like cherry pie filling but it’s tasty and made a bit spicy by adding hot, roasted chilis.

Next I tasted the French Kissed — which is like a strawberry puree with real vanilla bean and

white chocolate. I also tried the Bogle Merlot/ Blackberry. This one really had the flavor of the wine — maybe a bit too strong for me. And lastly, I tried the Dirty Diana — you gotta love the name! This was a mix of Montmorency Cherries, passion fruit rum and nutmeg — I may have liked this one best.

To get yourself out of a jam and into some jam for your Valentine go to butchersbunches.com to see the full line of products. Made locally here in Utah these items make fun, unusual and tasty gifts. Q

Goin’ Crazy with Chocolates

A DIVISION OF DREW ELLSWORTH CULINARY CONCEPTS

Ecole DijonCooking School COOKING CL ASSES SUNDAY NIGHT FOOD & WINE PAIRINGS

Learn about great wines and great food Wine taught by Wasatch Academy of Wine’s Sheral Schowe, and staff Food taught by Chef Drew Ellsworth, Certified Executive Chef Sunday, February 13

A SPECIAL CHOCOLATE TASTING With a few non-chocolate appetizers for Valentine’s Day with 6 Wines

• M is for California Muscat Truffle Center • Red Achiote Chile with White Honey-Truffle Center • Curry-Topped Port Wine Truffle Center • Spiral-Topped Pumpkin/ Grand Marnier Truffle Center

Small Gift Box with 4 Truffles one of each flavor $6.95 Large Gift Box with 12 Truffles three of each flavor $21.95

MONDAY NIGHT COMFORT FOODS & FRENCH PASTRIES

Learn how to make fresh bread and pastries in every class!

Monday, February 21

PRESIDENT’S DAY TRIBUTE Our Best Cherry Pie and Early American Cuisine

Monday night classes $35 or 3 for $95 Sunday night wine classes $40 plus $15 the night of the class or $110 for three.

Wine classes have a $15 wine fee.

Chef Drew will even hold classes at your home for as little as $40 per person.

See the Web site for details.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON CLASSES CATERING AND CULINARY PARTIES: www.EcoleDijonCookingSchool.com chefdrewe@aol.com 801-278-1039

28 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 17 3 | Februa r y 03 , 2011

Are you going to say “I love you,” with a gift of chocolates this Valentine’s Day? Well, here are some tasty options. On Sunday afternoon I spread out our chocolate offerings on my kitchen table and volunteered the taste buds of my housemate, Warren McClain and his 8-yearold son, Roan. Of course, I had no difficulties twisting their arms to help me with a chocolate tasting!

I’m always fascinated with the depth of flavors coming from chocolate — originally called Fruit of the Gods. Chocolate boasts an unbelievable ability to stimulate 3500 different chemically-based flavor components in our taste buds — sorry guys, women are better at it than men. The only other food that even comes close is red wine, which comes in with a measly 1800 components.

We asked some of our readers and advertisers to send in some samples and here is what we had at our sampling: • Ecole Dijon Chocolates for Dessert Wines, Ports and Cigars — these are my chocolates, Chef Drew, 801-278-1039 • Xoçai Healthy Chocolate — less fat—promoted by Keith Abraham, 801-224-7949 • The Chocolate Conspiracy, touted as Raw Artisan Chocolate made with aphrodisiac herbs — Salt Lake City, 435-313-3519 • The Hatch Family Chocolates from Salt Lake’s Avenues — a very traditional offering, with spectacular presentation, 801-532-4912 My chocolates are made for me by C. K. Cummings in Millcreek, and Bruce, the head chocolatier has worked with me on creating chocolates for wine connoisseurs. I got the idea for these chocolates from a trip to Napa Valley where many wineries have a house chocolate designed just for them to use in their tasting rooms. As a chef, I love the culinary crossover using reductions of wines and the additions of curry and achiote chili dusted on my chocolates.

The Xoçai chocolates are part of a wellness and weight-loss campaign which uses chocolate as a means to help you with those battles. The bars come with a brochure explaining all the health benefits of th chocolate made with nonsugar sweetener, chia seed oil and extracts from the açai berry — said to help you lose belly fat — please, give me a quart of that! The bars were

the hardest of all the chocolates we tasted, very intense with cocoa and “drier” chocolate flavors.

The Chocolate Conspiracy sent us both a bar and a small box of molded chocolates. (I ate some of these about an hour ago and sorry folks, haven’t felt any aphrodisiac movements just yet!) The molded, “raw” chocolates were, like the Xoçai, very hard-packed, dense and far less rich than the regular chocolates we’re used to. The Chocolate Conspiracy offerings were mixed with “granola” type filling like cranberries and various nuts. Very, intense, deep cocoa flavors.

In my view, the winner in all of this, was the Hatch Family Chocolates. The presentation and

overall quality was just a knockout! We cut into a home-made cherry chocolate, which I happen to adore, and it was just so excellent and nothing like the little waxy ones you get at Walmart at Christmas time! We tasted the caramels and the home-made fondants which were all just delicious. The cream centers were made like real fudge, cooked and then whipped into a creamy denseness that holds its shape for dipping. The presentation in the beautiful velvet, heart-shaped box put all of the other offerings to shame, including mine. The Hatch Family also makes a full line of clever, molded chocolate lollipops which are fun and nice to look at, and they had a cute little packet of Romeo and Juliette chocolate-dipped gummy bears.

I have to say, however, that all of the chocolates we tasted were very unusual, tasty, made with great ingredients and certainly reflective of today’s environment where people are looking for new and different alternatives to almost everything. Q

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Shear Sex

Scissor Sisters’ frontman on his second puberty, performing naked and the band’s Lady Gaga love affair

By Chris Azzopardi

T

hey’ve always been gorgeous, but it took a decade before the Scissor Sisters, with their third album Night Work, became full-on filthy. The romp-pop album, released last year, is done up in cheeky softcore innuendo about “funking” someone, the late-shift grind (literally) and “big” surprises.

Our chat with frontman Jake Shears had many of them — from the conversation that united the band with Lady Gaga for the megastar’s 2011 Monster Ball Tour to the favorite gay icon he wants to meet (Tom Petty?). Shears also talked about the, well, sheer amount of clothing he wears, his wardrobe faux pas and how he defines himself ... according to the Urban Dictionary.

So, also in my Twitter finds, I came across a photo of you in a jockstrap. Oh, great!

Why are you always the naked one in the group? I ... um ... just get hot on stage. That’s the main reason. (Laughs) I usually don’t get naked onstage, but I get excitable and usually it just feels better. The less I have on, the more I can move around. It’s the reason why Iggy Pop is always ripping his shirt off, so he can move and do his thing.

You’re looking beefier than ever, too. Lots of Muscle Milk, huh? I’ve been drinking a lot of Muscle Milk. I’m preparing for my future as an exercise guru.

this is the first record where we really explicitly explored that. So there’s a lot of celebratory stuff, but then there’s a real dark side to it; we love seeing two sides of the same coin. But it was just time for us to take the fringe and the feathers away a bit.

The other thing is I felt like I sort of crossed over the line from being a kid and a boy, which I felt like I was going to be forever, into being a grown man, which has definitely changed the way that I think about things, the way that I perform and the things that I wear. It’s been like hitting a second puberty.

Your Twitter page says you’ve been in the studio recently. Are the Scissor Sisters recording some new music? Yeah, I’m in the studio as we speak. We’re writing new music. We’re back in New York for a moment, so we just thought we’d come in and play around and have fun. So yeah, we’re writing, definitely.

The music on Night Work is some of the band’s most sexual. Is it true: Does art imitate life? The album is very much about our lives that we lead and then our fantasy lives that we lead, so a lot of it does imitate life. A lot of it is just imitating the dreams going on in my brain. But it’s a very sexy record, and I think we were feeling sexy when we were making it.

When you look back at your career, going from Brooklyn clubs, kind of struggling to find an audience, and now opening for the biggest superstar in the world, how do you feel about how far you’ve come? I really look back fondly at the last 10 years. This year, it’s going to be 10 years since our first performance, so I feel very proud but, at the same time, I also feel unfit. I feel like as a band we have a lot more to say, and I just think this band is going to constantly turn itself on its head.

The wait won’t be four years like it was for Night Work then? Well, it was just three and a half. (Laughs) But it definitely won’t be that long.

Your work, as far back as “Filthy/Gorgeous,” has always had a sexy feel to it. How do you explain those constant themes of sexual exploration and liberation in your music? I think that

Touring with Lady Gaga as her opening act should offer you the exposure that you haven’t necessarily had in the United States.

You’ve always connected better outside of the States. In fact,

30 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 17 3 | Februa r y 03 , 2011

some people still think you’re a European band. Totally ... a lot of people do.

Why do you think you’ve been able to connect better outside of America? It’s funny: This last tour we had through America was probably the best American tour we’ve ever done. There’s something so exciting about touring America at this moment for us. I don’t know what it was about this record, but it seemed to make a connection with a real core audience — even more so than the last couple of records. With our American audience, we really found kind of a center and the shows, because of it, were super exciting. They really were some of the most exhilarating shows we’ve had in a long time. I still get really excited about playing in America.

We’re so well received in Europe and in all these other places, but playing in America still feels uncharted and super exciting.

Did Lady Gaga handpick you for this tour or was it a record-label matchmaking? Oh god, no, it wasn’t a label thing. It came about in a conversation. We were hanging out at Elton’s White Tie & Tiara Ball (in 2010), and he sat us next to each other ’cause he knew we’d get along and it was high time for us to meet. We were talking about music and she was telling me that she used to come see us play when she was younger and was just really inspired and loved our band a lot. I think she holds us very close to her heart in a lot of ways. And she said, “This might sound really weird, but I think that we’d do really well on tour together.” I just said we’d do it in a heartbeat. And it was a done deal in a week.

It’s going to be the gayest show of the year, without question. (Laughs) It’s also just really nice to do something that comes from something real rather than something set up by record labels. This comes from a real love of one another, and it’s going to be super exciting because we’re going to be playing for tons of people who have no idea who we are. It’s a great platform for us.

Both you and Gaga wear some pretty flamboyant clothes. Would you be open to wearing a meat anything? It depends on where it’s placed. (Long pause) I don’t know what that meant. (Laughs) God knows I’ve walked out on stage in some wonderful and horrendous and hideous things.

My husband was going through pictures recently and we came across, god, this one picture. You just look back on some shit that you wear and it doesn’t seem that long ago, but then you look at the picture and you’re like, “Oh my god, I can’t believe that I wore that horrible patchwork shirt with big bell-bottom trousers.”

But I’m not a vain person, and I’m not afraid to look like a fool.

Aside from Lady Gaga, you’ve been able to hang with some cool gay icons, like Dolly Parton, Kylie Minogue and even Jane Fonda.

Who are some others that you’d like to chill with? I mean, since I was a kid Jane Fonda was really somebody I fantasized about meeting in person someday. But that’s a tough question, because I really just like so many ... let me ask (band member) Baby Daddy. (Turns away from the phone and says, “Who’s left that I haven’t met that I’m obsessed with?” Baby Daddy: “That you haven’t met?” Shears: “Or that I haven’t stalked?”) He just called it: Tom Petty. Tom Petty is one of my fucking heroes. He’s not as glamorous as Jane Fonda, but ...

Nor is he a gay icon. He’s not really a gay icon, I guess. But he is for me. I just grew up listening to his music and I’ve just always been a massive fan. My tastes really run the gamut; I’ve got real obsessions and influences and inspirations that I think people couldn’t really predict.

You never liked when people would refer to the Scissor Sisters as a “gay band.” Do you feel like you’ve been able to shake that label over the years? With this last record we sort of shook it in a way, and then figured out how to wear it. I think it was always really frustrating for me in a lot of ways just because I always felt like being called a “gay band” was a categorization that put us in a second tier, like we were a second-rate creation. But our songwriting and our performances can stand up to anybody else’s, and can stand up next to the best, and labeling it with our sexual preference above all else is demeaning.

However, on the other hand, we are a gay band and there are three gay men and a woman, who might as well be a gay man, and that’s shaped our aesthetic, it’s shaped who we are, it’s part of what we sing about, it’s part of the sexuality we express. There are two sides to it, and I think that we are less insecure about it.

The 2011 QPages will be published in May 2011.

Call to get rates

801.649.6663

In the Urban Dictionary, Jake Shears is defined as the “hot lead singer of the band Scissor Sisters ... gay and fabulous ... known for taking his clothes off or having them taken off ... pretty and funny ... his abs are very lickable.” Oh, that’s good. I like that definition.

If you wrote your own entry, what would you write? God. That’s a tough question. Rock music fanatic. Horror lover ... not “whore” lover.

Video gamer. Exuberant and sexual. Former elf.

I grew up always feeling very puckish, like A Midsummer Night’s Dream. I always felt like kind of a very energetic mischievous elf, but I don’t know if that’s really applicable anymore. But that’s how I’d describe myself. I love that I’m in the Urban Dictionary; that’s exciting! Q

Februa r y 03 , 2011 | issue 17 3 | QSa lt L a k e | 3 1

FUN & GAMES

From the Secretary of State Across 1 Accessories for 76 trombones 6 Room in 32-Across 10 Radio switch 14 “___ roll!” (winner’s cry) 15 “Uh-oh!” to Shelley 16 Richard of And the Band Played On 17 Sewing kit item 18 Pinball Wizard foul 19 Make ___ dash for 20 Secretary of State 23 SEP, e.g.

24 Comedian Amsterdam 25 What you tell pests to take 27 Study of Shakespeare’s feet 29 Russian astronaut 31 Where to find Moby Dick 32 Lorca’s house 33 Premature ejaculation meas.

34 Start of a statement by 20-Across 39 Sandy’s sound in Annie 42 Depp’s cross-dressing role 43 Sniff out 47 It shoots off hot stuff

49 Where you stick it in the bull 52 Islamic leaders 53 Ben Stiller’s mother Anne 55 Alexander ingredient 56 End of the statement 59 Gyro bread 60 “Catch you later” 61 Rutstein of Disappear Fear 62 Dollar bills 63 Series terminal 64 GLAAD’s “___ the Media” project 65 Adam, created by a woman named George 66 Teacher’s faves 67 Sews the hose Down 1 Writer Yukio 2 They yell “Yer out!”

3 “Just missed!”

4 Carbon compound 5 It’s hung in a deli 6 Well-endowed old goats?

7 Gertrude’s partner 8 Screw around 9 Italian wine city 10 First name in mysteries 11 Rita Mae Brown’s Rita Will, e.g.

12 He went to Hollywood 13 Dose of AZT, e.g.

21 Bird of myth 22 Pester, as Albert to Armand 26 SASE, for one 28 Scrap of cloth 30 Wood for Billy Bean’s bat, perhaps 32 Spanish hero, with “El” 35 Up to one’s butt (in) 36 Hither’s partner 37 Rose to Dorothy, on Golden Girls 38 Old abbr. of Nureyev’s land 39 Caesar’s salutation 40 Painter Brooks 41 Played the coquette 44 Bayou Boy and Other Stories author Lars 45 Newspaper issue 46 Dorothy and Auntie Em, for example 48 Line of Todd Oldham clothing?

49 Gondola courses 50 Bruin Bobby 51 Made erect 54 Patronize, as a Rubicon restaurant 57 Lone Star sch.

58 Naked Maja painter 59 US Mail compartment Puzzle answers on page 37

anagram An anagram is a word or phrase that can be made using the letters from another word or phrase. Rearrange the letters below to answer:

Name the Oscar nominee for her role as a lesbian in The Kids Are All Right.

benign TEEN ANT _______

______

PUZZLE SOLUTIONS ARE ON PAGE 36

32 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 17 3 | Februa r y 03 , 2011

Q SCENE

sWerve Black & White Gala QSaltLake photographer Laurie Mecham went to sWerve’s party of the year at the 15th Street Gallery on January 15 and snapped a bunch of candid sWervers.

Comedienne Karen Bayard kept the laughs coming, while Talia Keys, Leraine Horstmanshoff and Mary Tebbs crooned the night away.

Februa r y 03 , 2011 | issue 17 3 | QSa lt L a k e | 33

Q giggles

Food&DRINK

cocktail chatter The virtue of pricey liqour

By Ed Sikov

‘Y

ou drink too much.”

This was Dan’s opener at dinner the night after I passed out from too many Old

Fashioneds. I reacted with instant hostility since I’d spent the afternoon making his

set fire to my mother’s burlap sack of peat moss and somehow made rotten moonshine out of the smoke.

I grew up. Now I love the intensely smoky, peaty kind of scotch that you can only get in single malts. Given the

favorites: braised pork

Cryptogram

A cryptogram is a puzzle where one letter in the puzzle is substituted with another. For example: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! Has the solution: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! In the above example Es are all replaced by Cs. The puzzle is solved by recognizing letter patterns in words and successively substituting letters until the solution is reached.

This week’s hint: K = Y, Theme: Quote by Iowa state Rep. Beth Wessel-Kroeschell on gay marriage equality.

___ _______ __ ___ ________.

Q doku

Level: Hard

8 2 3 6

1 2 7

considered his point of view. It’s painful to admit

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached it: he was right. logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the “It’s an occupational Each Sudoku a unique solution which one can be logically blank puzzle spaces.has Every row must contain of reached each digit, as must withouteach guessing.

Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces.

Every row hazard,” I attempted. “I column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku is actually five must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. connected, puzzles.

Qdoku separate, is actually but five separate, butSudoku connected, Sudoku puzzles. have a column to write.”

Level: Medium

8 6 4 3

tatin.

— like “piss off” — I

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ -_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

8 5 4 3 4 1 8 6 6 2 3 7

sprouts slaw; and a tarte

back something harsh

________ ______________

Q doku

and white wine; brussels

But before I sniped

Xcuujcbz ojaqujxjlcwjil asgrzqwa acxz-azt qismeza wi whz wkucllk iy whz xcriujwk.

6 5 4 2

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8

7

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choice, most poor suck-

shoulder with parsnips

Scotch is an acquired taste. I nearly spat out my first sip. Then again, I was 10 at the time

“That’s a lame excuse, and you know it. It was terrifying to find you like that — unconscious on the floor!”

“People are said to be ‘asleep’ at night, not ‘unconscious,’” I replied with futile indignation since I had been, in fact, unconscious.

“All right,” I sighed as I placed the platter of

4 1 8

aromatic pork in front of him like an offering to an angry deity — Athena, say, the goddess of both warfare and reason. “I’ll cut back,” I promised.

“Way back,” he ordered from Olympus as he skewered a large chunk of moist pork, a

6 7 2 8

6 8 4

3 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 17 3 | Februa r y 03 , 2011

slab of cooked meat to which I humiliatingly

2

1 9 2 8 6

4 5 2 9 4 8 1 7 3 2 1 1 3 9 7

related.

And so I offer this column on single-malt scotch. Since they’re what my great aunt called “dear,” meaning costly, you’re a fool to gulp it. Even I, a professional drinker, can only have one shot a night. So I drink less. Bankbreaking liquor: a solution to Dan’s concern.

For many of us, scotch is an acquired taste.

ers go for the bland over the exceptional or unusual, so blended scotches dominate, though they all taste basically the same. But single malts vary greatly. I’m the kind of guy who goes for ultraspicy food, high-cocoa dark chocolate, and certain out-there sexual practices which shall go unelaborated, so I prefer

single malts that are heavily smoky, or peaty, or both.

Oban and Talisker are great single malts, but this time I opted for Tormore. I chose it because the liquor store guy boasted that his Tormore was a single-cask, special reserve made solely for his emporium. That brought out the essential snob in me, so I bought it.

At home, alone with (as Gollum would say) “my precious” (Dan had flown off to Toronto for a meeting of his medical geek society) I sipped my single shot — neat, of course — for about an hour and a half. Tormore’s first taste is a sharp alcohol tang, which turns into a rich smoke in the mouth before softening. It finishes as though you had just smoked a rare cigar. Perfection.

Tormore Single Malt scotch Face facts: Unless you live in New York City, San Francisco, Los Angeles or Boston, you’ll have to order most small-distillery single

I nearly spat out my first sip. Then again, I was

malts online. If your state forbids such im-

10 at the time. Rum tasted good then, and so

ports, move. You never liked it there anyway,

did bourbon. But scotch tasted like somebody

did you? The Puritanical bastards! Q

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Februa r y 03 , 2011 | issue 17 3 | QSa lt L a k e | 35

en español Uno de los New Kids on The Block sale del armario Los ídolos de nuestra juventud no paran de darnos sorpresas. Ahora le ha tocado el turno a Jonathan Knight, Jon, de los New Kids on The Block. Uno de los integrantes más famosos de la banda de chicos por las que suspiraban las adolescentes de los 80 y 90 ha reconocido públicamente su homosexualidad.

Esta sorprendente salida del armario resulta como consecuencia de una indiscreción de su ex novia, la también ídolo juvenil de los 80 Tiffany, famosa por su súper éxito “I think we are alone now”. La cantante acudió a un programa de televisión para hablar de su época de éxito y cuando el presentador le preguntó si había estado enrollada con alguno de los New Kids on The Block soltó la bomba.

“Estuve con el más tímido de la banda, Jonathan Knight que más tarde se hizo gay”, declaró sin ningún pudor. El que fue su novio ha intentado salir del paso a través de la página del grupo confirmando su homosexualidad por primera vez en público pero asegurando que hace más de 20 años que su entorno conoce su orientación sexual. “He vivido mi vida libremente y nunca lo he ocultado pero parece que hay que salir en la portada de una revista con el titular ‘Soy Gay’”, ha escrito visiblemente molesto.

One of the New Kids on The Block comes out of the closet The idols of our youth never fail to surprise us. Now it is the turn of Jonathan Knight, Jon, of the New Kids on The Block. The famous boy band member that girls (and many boys) swooned over in the 80s and 90s has publicly recognized his homosexuality. The surprising outing happened when his ex-fiance, another idol of the 80s, Tiffany (who sang the hit, “I think we’re alone now”) went on a television show to speak of Kinght’s success. When the host asked if she had ever dated any of the New Kids on The Block, she spoke right up.

“I was with most timid of the band, Jonathan Knight that later was made gay,” she said without hesitation. Knight confirmed for the first time publicly that he was gay, but said he had been honest about his sexuality for over 20 years. “I have lived my life very openly and have never hidden the fact that I am gay!”

Knight wrote on the group’s members-only blog. “Apparently the prerequisite to being a gay public figure is to appear on the cover of a magazine with the caption ‘I am gay.’ I apologize for not doing so if this is what was expected!”

Q giggles

Help us keep bringing you Utah’s Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Entertainment.

Tell your advertisers THANK YOU for supporting us.

3 6 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 17 3 | Februa r y 03 , 2011

Q scopes

your best strategy for now is to relax and be flexible. You probably don’t like that, but the alternative just brings more trouble.

Think twice, Aries!

By Jack Fertig

Venus in Sagittarius square Jupiter and Uranus in Pisces should be very sensual, imaginative and innovative, if perhaps a bit over-indulgent.

Mars and the Sun in Aquarius are bringing out the edgy innovative side, maybe a bit too hardcore. Pushing too hard can spoil the energy. To get where you want to go, relax and pay attention to subtle clues.

e

aRIES (March 20–April 19) Friendly provocation, dares and seductions can lead you too easily into trouble. Meditation and calm help you hear that inner voice that guides you. Don’t avoid your friends. Just think twice to avoid going along with something foolish.

r

tAURUS (April 20–May 20) A simple effort at a friendly seduction is liable to blow up in your face and expose you to ridicule. Think ahead about your romantic/sexual needs and talk with a friend you know you can trust with your secrets–or a professional counselor.

t

gEMINI (May 21–June 20) You can be too eager to get ahead and out to new vistas. Asking questions and working to understand the answers is better than assuming that you already know everything you need to take the next step.

y

cANCER (June 21–July 22) You’re looking very sexy, but slippery. You may be as irresistible as those impulses, but be very careful about playing safe. Right now every accident and bug around is out to get you.

u

lEO (July 23–August 22) You and your partner (whether for life or for fun) are both full of grand fantasies, not quite meeting on planet Earth.

Try lying back and letting your honey take the lead. You could find it a very happy surprise.

i

IRGO (August 23–September 22) If you and your partner or roommate are arguing over housekeeping,

puzzle solutions

o

lIBRA (September 23–October 22) Usually you could teach “sweet and charming,” but now you seem to need a remedial course. Try to stay focused on tasks at hand and be creative on paper or on screen, not aloud. Let a friend confirm your brilliance before you send anything out.

QUAC Ski-n-Swim Opening Social

DJ spinning at 9 – Performance at 11 by

Morgan McMichaels (from Season 2 of RuPaul’s Drag Race)

p

sCORPIO (October 23–Nov. 21) Your creative crises can be resolved at home or by looking at family “wisdom” in new ways. Guard against extravagance. You can transform old junk into new treasures. Focusing your will is the hard part.

The rest is easy!

[

sAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22–Dec. 20) Revelatory letters to your family will lead to more drama than expected.

That could be good in the long run for getting everything out in the clear, but the road to calm resolutions has a lot of loud and nasty on the way!

]

cAPRICORN (December 21–Jan 19) The stars are opening you up for therapeutic release of secrets and problems. Choose the time, place and confidante very carefully or your worst secrets will be out all over the place.

q

aQUARIUS (January 20–Feb 18) Your social charisma is strong, but exercising it risks a greater price than you imagine. Be careful about any commitments of time and energy. You’ll find you had less than you thought.

w

pISCES (February 19–March 19) Consider your ambitions carefully.

A burst of energy now tempts you to overextend yourself. Some courage is good, but meditate and think ahead before you promise to deliver the moon.

Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977, is available for personal and business consultations in person in San Francisco, or online everywhere. He can be reached at 415-864-8302, through his website at www.starjack.com, and by e-mail at QScopes@qsyndicate.com.

Cryptogram: Marriage discrimination subjects same-sex couples to the tyranny of the majority.

Anagram: Annette Bening

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UTAH’S BEST GAY CLUB 2 YEARS RUNNING! Februa r y 03 , 2011 | issue 17 3 | QSa lt L a k e | 3 7

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T

he road to Garden Grove is fraught with danger and excitement.

February in Utah sucks! Sundance is over, spring is but a distant fantasy, and Chris Buttars and Righteouslature begin their annual assault on all things not old, white and flaccid. Not to mention the cold. Why, it’s all a queen can do to stop downloading porn long enough to step outside for a much-needed breather. One can only look at so much “educational material” before the cacophony of grunts, groans and ‘Oh Gods’ begin to make sense.

So it happened a few Februarys ago that upon stepping outside to check for my shadow I was immediately dismayed. The temperature inversion was so thick that the chemical makeup of the atmosphere began to dissolve my finest polyester on contact. In the words of, Queen Victoria, “We are not amused!”

Owing the need to escape the atmospheric toxicity both political and environmental, I did therefore by royal decree declare February to be perfect time for a road trip. And so proceeded in the regal company of the late great Auntie Fern to Garden Grove, Calif., for a three day conference at the world famous Crystal Cathedral.

One fortuitous evening, we went to a local gay bar, where it just so happened that they were having a strip show. The bar was not very crowded, so Auntie Fern and I were able to park our gravityenhanced behinds on stools in close proximity to the dance floor.

Some sultry music began and disco ball lights illuminated the dance floor. Fern and I were alla-twitter with excitement. Three strapping young “Frat Boy” types emerged onto the dance floor and proceeded to demonstrate how limber they were in removing their excess clothing.

They were left wearing only my absolute favorite style of swim wear, square-cut Speedos. Now I must confess that I have a great affinity/pathological fetish for spandex in any of it’s presentations, but a square-cut Speedo worn by a stunningly hot frat boy is enough to send me over the edge.

The boys were all very cute, but one of them was a tall, drop-dead gorgeous Nordic type that I will call Sven the Viking. Having determined that Fern and I were out-of-town royalty, Sven did pay his respects. Focusing most of his gyrating, hipthrusting attention on us.

First Sven zeroed in on me, and proceeded to give me the lap dance of my life, right there in front of God and everybody. Now my princess etiquette training has taught me that I should refrain from grabbing my hands onto scantily clad, strapping young men lest I break them with my enthusiasm, or get arrested for assault. Still, it was all I could do to maintain decorum, as he climbed up over my lap and onto my stool, his well muscled and tanned thighs pressing in against my arms. The straining fabric of his very well packed Speedo was barely an inch from my mouth.

The viking grabbed the back of my hair pushing my face into his musky crotch as he writhed to and fro, riding me like a bucking bronco. Then, ever so gently, slid down my body until he was sitting on my lap, his nose touching mine, giving me an extensive “Eskimo kiss.” He leaned in closer and proceeded to drill my ear with his tongue, and he whispered, “Are you having fun?” Oh, my, god!!! I could have died right there, been fully fulfilled as a queen. But one must maintain one’s decorum, and having temporarily lost the ability to speak, I managed a single, regal nod.

Sven shyly smiled, plucked my eyeglasses from my nose and placed them on his. Wearing my spectacles, he looked oh so studious as he ground his posterior into my crotch. Until, and just in the nick of time, he stepped back onto the floor — where he took my spectacles off his face and slowly stuffed them down into the front of his Speedo. It was a testament to the miracle of spandex that the glasses even fit.

Sven then gently took both my hands in his and drew them to his heaving chest. I could feel his heart beating. He then slowly guided my hands down his smooth, rippling sweaty six pack, to the waist band of his Speedo. Pulling out the waistband, he invited me to retrieve my glasses from their precarious perch.I timidly reached into the “forbidden zone” and carefully moved his apparatus to the side and extracted my glasses from his spandex cocoon. He took them out of my hands and placed them back on my nose giving me a sweet peck on the cheek.

I could barely see anything, because the lenses were clouded with his sweaty testicle prints. As I gasped a feeble “thank you” to him, Sven moved off to give Auntie Fern a similar treatment. Mid lap dance Fern leaned over to me and exclaimed “I’ve never been to a ‘Tupperware Party’ before!”

I waited two days before I cleaned the testicle prints of my glasses. I don’t think Auntie Fern ever cleaned her glasses again. After the careful treatment that Sven gave our glasses, I’m sure that he went on to become an optician in later life.

Like always these events leave us with many important questions: 1. Should the Red Air Quality alerts include a warning to keep your polyester gowns safely inside?

2. If this was any indication of how the Vikings raped and pillaged, why were the conquered so upset?

3. What is the tensile strength limit of Spandex?

4. Should this experience become the standard for optical appointments?

5. What is the best glass cleaner to remove sweaty testicle prints?

6. If you “burp” the spandex waistband just like you “burp” Tupperware, will it seal in freshness?

These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap-Smear. Q

3 8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 17 3 | Februa r y 03 , 2011

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