QSaltLake August 4, 2011

Utah’s News & Entertainment Magazine for the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community | FREE

salt lake Issue 186 August 4, 2011

Utah’s gays and lesbians battle for their children Lesbians Using Anti-Gay Law

HRC Bus Tour Kicks Off in SLC

Gays & Allies Running for Office

Lagoon Day Aug. 7

staff

publisher Michael Aaron editor Seth Bracken

Where pets come to play!

arts & entertainment editor Tony Hobday

24 Hour Pet Care

graphic designer Christian Allred contributors Chris Azzopardi, Lynn Beltran, Turner Bitton, Dave Brousseau, Brad Di Iorio, Chef Drew Ellswroth, Greg Fox, H. Rachelle Graham, Bob Henline, Gus Herrero, Tony Hobday, Christopher Katis, Annalisa Millo, Keith Orr, Petunia Pap-Smear, Anthony Paull, Steven Petrow, Ruby Ridge, A.E. Storm, JoSelle Vanderhooft, Michael Westley, Ben Williams, Troy Williams, D’Anne Witkowski, Rex Wockner

Services

• Overnight boarding • Daycare • Do it yourself wash or we wash • Pet Taxi 596 W 1500 S, Woods Cross

801-683-DOGS (3647) Questions@UtahDogPark.com

contributing photographers Nick Collide, David Daniels, Laurie Kaufman, Matt Spencer

www.facebook.com/utahdogpark

Don R. Austin, LCSW

sales manager Brad Di Iorio office manager Tony Hobday distribution Brad Di Iorio, Ryan Benson,

Michael Hamblin, Gary Horenkamp, Nancy Burkhart, Carlos Samayoa

• INDIVIDUALS • COUPLES • CHRONIC DISEASE • GAY ISSUES • GROUPS • HIV/AIDS • ADULT MALE SURVIVORS OF SEXUAL ABUSE

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Park City pink at

Gay Park Silly Day Sunday, August 14

for sales queries:

sales@qsaltlake.com QSaltLake is a trademark of Salt Lick Publishing, LLC. Copyright © 2011, Salt Lick Publishing LLC. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted or reproduced without written permission from the publisher. 10,000 copies of QSaltLake are distributed free of charge at over 300 locations across Utah and in Idaho and Nevada. Free copies are limited to one per person. For additional copies, contact us at 801-649-6663. It is a crime to destroy or dispose of current issues or otherwise interfere with the distribution of this newsmagazine. Publication of the name or photograph of any individual or organization

Miss Park Silly Contest, Noon–1pm Get dolled up in your finest pink and glitter for your chance to win the title!

Chef Drew, 11:30–12pm Demonstration and entertainment by your Chef from Ecole Dijon Cooking School • • • • •

Free Kids Activities Arts & Crafts Imports Performance Art Local Produce

• • • • •

Gourmet Food Live Music Beer Garden Bloody Mary Bar Bus, Bike or Hike

in articles or advertising in QSaltLake is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons.

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ROAD TO EQUALITY HRC BUS TOUR COMES TO

JOIN THE HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN, THE NATION’S LARGEST LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENDER ORGANIZATION DEDICATED TO EQUAL RIGHTS, IN SALT LAKE CITY THIS AUGUST.

SALT LAKE CITY Friday, August 12 3 – 5 p.m.

INAUGURAL STOP, PRESS CONFERENCE AND HRC OPEN HOUSE Utah Pride Center | 355 North 300 West Join us at the official first-stop of HRC’s “On the Road to Equality” and help us inaugurate our tour. Learn about HRC’s important programs, meet elected officials and community leaders.

Sunday, August 14 9 a.m. – 2 p.m.

“ON THE ROAD TO EQUALITY” OPEN HOUSE Liberty Park | Corner of Belmont and North Shelter Rd Come share what equality means to you and explore the amazing exhibits at the Equality Bus.

Friday, August 12 9:30 p.m.

CLUB EQUALITY AT CLUB SOUND Club Sound | 579 West 200 South See HRC’s bus outside of Club Sound and meet HRC representatives at the Club Equality dance party. Don’t miss a performance by Broadway star Gavin Creel.

Sunday, August 14 10 a.m.

5K FUN-RUN & WALK TO BENEFIT VOLUNTEERS OF AMERICA Liberty Park | Corner of Belmont and North Shelter Rd Join HRC for a 5K fun-run and walk to benefit Volunteers of America’s efforts to establish a transitional home for young men/boys in Salt Lake. All runners will receive a free shoelace wallet! Participation fee will be $10 per runner.

Saturday, August 13 2 – 4 p.m.

PATHWAY TO ACCEPTANCE: SUPPORTIVE FAMILIES, HEALTHY COMMUNITIES CO-SPONSORED BY UTAH PRIDE CENTER Salt Lake City Library | Conference Room 4 210 East 400 South Featuring Dr. Caitlin Ryan of the Family Acceptance Project followed by a forum about the role of our families, schools and churches in creating a bright future for LGBT youth.

Sunday, August 14 2 – 4 p.m.

POWER OF FAITH ADVOCACY FOR EQUALITY CO-SPONSORED BY EQUALITY UTAH EPISCOPAL CHURCH CENTER OF UTAH Wasatch Room | 75 South 200 East Join HRC and Equality Utah for an opportunity to learn how people of faith can powerfully and effectively use their voices to advance for equality in the public and legislative spheres.

www.hrc.org/roadtoequality

4 NEWS

NATIONAL

by Rex Wockner

California OKs push to repeal LGBT teaching law California officials gave the go-ahead July 25 for anti-gay forces to begin collecting signatures for a voter referendum next June on the new law that requires public schools to teach about LGBT people’s history.

Attorney General Kamala Harris titled the proposal, “Referendum to Overturn Non-Discrimination Requirements for School Instruction.”

And she summarized it this way: “If signed by the required number of registered voters and filed with the Secretary of State, this petition will place on the statewide ballot a challenge to a state law previously approved by the Legislature and Governor. The law must then be approved by a majority of voters at the next statewide election to go into effect. The law would require school instructional materials to recognize societal contributions of various groups; and would prohibit school instructional materials that reflect adversely on persons based on their ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation and other characteristics.”

AUGUST 4, 2011

Opposition forces now face the arduous task of collecting 504,760 valid signatures from registered California voters and turning them in to county officials by Oct. 12.

Equality California, which sponsored the teaching bill in the Legislature, appears to have taken the lead in whatever LGBT effort will be made to thwart the signature drive or save the law at the ballot box.

The group has requested $50,000 from its supporters “to launch a statewide education program,” vowed to provide information in the future on how people hoping to save the law can volunteer, and urged its supporters to “report signature gatherers.”

“If you spot a Stop SB 48 organizer gathering signatures in your community, let us know on Facebook,” EQCA Executive Director Roland Palencia said. (The law was Senate Bill 48.)

“Our opponents will use this signaturegathering time to make wild claims about the FAIR Education Act – that it will expose children to ‘gay sex’ and force them to ‘accept homosexuality,’” Palencia said.

“These lies based on prejudice about LGBT people and kids have formed the foundation of every campaign, including marriage equality, they have ever waged against our community and every campaign they will wage – until we stop them.”

Palencia didn’t reveal what tactics EQCA may have up its sleeve.

there is no reason to expose yourself to the whole internet only members who are matched to you will see your profile with our privacy option, you can block your profile from all other members you send it to the members that you wish

Our proprietary matching system compares 260 variables from your profile to match you with other members based on your preferences, your values, your lifestyle and your personality.

www.alphey.com socius LLC 2011

ABA honors Olson, Boies The American Bar Association will honor Ted Olson and David Boies, the famous odd-couple lawyers who got Proposition 8 declared unconstitutional last year.

The two star attorneys, who represented George W. Bush and Al Gore respectively before the U.S. Supreme Court in the 2000 “hanging chad” election debacle, teamed up with the American Foundation for Equal Rights to fight the voter-passed constitutional amendment that re-banned same-sex marriage in California in 2008.

A federal district judge in San Francisco agreed with their arguments and struck down the amendment, which has remained in force as the ruling is appealed.

On Aug. 8, Olson and Boies will receive the American Bar Association Medal, a rare honor that isn’t bestowed at all in some years.

“Ted and David show that excellence in the legal profession transcends partisan and ideological boundaries,” said AFER Board President Chad Griffin. “Thanks to these two world-class legal minds the dark walls of discrimination are beginning to crumble.”

Last year, Time magazine declared Olson and Boies two of the 100 most influential people in the world.

Same-sex couples remain unable to marry in California while three matters wind through the courts: 1. The appeal of the ruling that struck down Prop 8. The appeal is currently paused in the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals.

2. Pending decisions from both the California Supreme Court and the 9th Circuit on whether the people who filed the appeal had a right to appeal.

California state officials refused to defend Prop 8, so the sponsors of the ballot measure appealed the ruling that struck it down.

3. A pending determination by the 9th Circuit on whether the entire District Court ruling should be tossed out because the judge who issued it is in a same-sex relationship and, supposedly, could have had a desire to get married himself at the moment he issued the decision.

The alleged judicial conflict-of-interest issue is unlikely to go anywhere, but the question of whether the ballot-measure sponsors have legal “standing” to appeal is a real one. If they don’t, there will be no appeal and the ruling that struck down Prop 8 will take effect.

Should the appeal proceed on the merits of the decision, it would be heard first by the 9th Circuit and then likely go to the U.S. Supreme Court, which could uphold Prop 8, strike it down in a way that applies only to California, or strike it down in a way that legalizes same-sex marriage nationwide.

ISSUE 186

QSALTLAKE

Quips & Quotes ❝

We’re losing our freedom of conscience. … They’re (homosexuals) the ones who right now are beating down the door, have their foot in the door, trying to tear down the moral fiber of America. We have to stand up to that. The reason it’s the tip of the spear you don’t see ‘Adulterers Victory Fund’ out there trying to promote adultery. God’s people got to stand up to this.”

—Oklahoma Republican legislator Sally Kern on American Family Radio promoting her new book, The Stoning of Sally Kern Why must she dress that way? ❝ I think she’s confused about her gender. All these big baggy menswear tailored pants.”

—Designer Tim Gunn said about Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on Lopez Tonight Same-sex attraction is ❝ not a choice, but homosexual conduct and homosexual selfidentification are choices.”

—Family Research Council head Tony Perkin I’m just more comfortable with ❝ myself now. It’s taken me until I’m 42 to begin feel this way.”

—CBS Sunday Morning contributor and former Daily Show correspondent Mo Rocca came out on a podcast after years of ‘is he or isn’t he’

I think when society ❝ devalues traditional marriage by saying all other domestic relationships are the same as traditional marriage, you then dilute and devalue traditional marriage.”

—Former Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty

And I think it’s going to be ❝ a bloody mess in New York, but after the 2012 elections it’s going to be very clear to the Republican Party that it’s a bad idea to vote for gay marriage if you’re a Republican.”

—Director of the anti-gay National Organization for Marriage in response to the legalization of gay marriage in New York

QSALTLAKE.COM

ISSUE 186

AUGUST 4, 2011

Gays, lesbians marry in New York Gay and lesbian couples began marrying in New York state July 24 – hundreds upon hundreds the first day the law legalizing same-sex marriage took effect.

Dale Getto and Barbara Laven in Albany may have been first. Mayor Gerald Jennings said he spoke the key phrase at 12:00:01 a.m.

A minute or so later, Niagara Falls Mayor Paul Dyster married Kitty Lambert and Cheryle Rudd at the falls, which were lit with rainbow lights.

Later in the day, more than 40 couples got married at the falls.

In New York City, Mayor Michael Bloomberg officiated at the wedding of his staff members John Feinblatt and Jonathan Mintz on the steps of Gracie Mansion.

On July 25, conservative groups sued to stop the marriages, alleging procedural irregularities accompanying the law’s passage and signing.

A spokesman for Gov. Andrew Cuomo said the suit “is without merit.”

Same-sex marriage is legal in Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont and Washington, D.C. Same-sex marriages from elsewhere are recognized as marriages in Maryland, New Mexico, Rhode Island and California (if the marriage took place before Proposition 8 passed).

Eleven other nations allow same-sex couples to marry – Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Iceland, the Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, South Africa, Spain, Sweden and Mexico (where same-sex marriages are allowed only in the capital city but are recognized nationwide).

Utah couple among first to marry

By Seth Bracken

Among the thousands of people who heard wedding bells in New York on July 24, the first day same-sex marriages were allowed in the state, was a couple from Utah. Jerry Rapier and Kirt Bateman officially tied the knot after more than 15 years of dating.

“It was really a last-minute decision,” Rapier said. “We were going to be in New York the weekend marriages were made legal and we decided to see if we could get into the lottery.”

Rapier and Bateman joined the throngs of people in the city celebrating a step forward in marriage equality. Because there were so many people that wanted to be in the first wave of same-sex marriages in New York, there was a lottery where people entered their names and were chosen at random for marriage licenses.

NEWS

Rapier, the director of Plan-B Theatre Company, and Bateman, the director of the Davis Arts Council, met at the Desert Star Playhouse in Murray, and after two weeks of dating they moved in together. Lovers of the arts, the pair travel to New York frequently to see musicals and plays. When they heard they’d be in the city the same weekend gay marriages would be made legal, it was kind of like a sign, Rapier said.

“We’d talked about marriage before and during the brief window that it was legal in California, we had considered getting married, but we didn’t move fast enough,” Rapier said.

On Thursday, July 21, the happy couple found out they were one of 400 couples to receive a marriage license. On Sunday, July 24, they were married in Manhattan.

“It was such a wonderful feeling. The entire city was electric,” Rapier said. “Even though the lines were huge, everyone was so happy and no one was complaining. Most of the people working in the courthouse were volunteering their time on a Sunday morning. They didn’t even have to be there.”

Marriages were taking place all around the city; in parks, on bridges and even on the stage. After the Sunday night performance of Hair, a musical about sexual and societal rebellion, the cast celebrated a much more traditional institution than normal as three gay couples were married.

“This is a statement that we should all feel good about,” Democratic Gov. Andrew Cuomo told a party in honor of gay marriage, according to the New York Daily News. “New York has always been about

5

equality and bringing people in. New York has always been about acceptance.”

However, just one day after the jubilation in the state, the gay marriage law was faced with its first legal challenge. An antigay law firm filed a suit claiming that the New York legislators used a corrupt process to pass the law.

The lawsuit claims that the voting pro-

cess involved lockouts that blocked lobbyists and the public from reaching their lawmakers. The bill barely cleared the Senate with a 33-29 vote.

The National Organization for Marriage, an anti-gay group, protested the marriages, but Rapier said the protestors were not very vocal and eventually just left.

“A lot of people have asked why get married in New York when it’s not recognized in Utah,” Rapier said. “I understand why you’d ask that. And nothing has really changed since the marriage. But somehow, everything has changed.” Q

6 NEWS

AUGUST 4, 2011

HRC nationwide bus tour kicks off in Salt Lake City The Human Rights Campaign national ‘On the Road to Equality’ bus tour promoting equal rights will kick off in Utah on Aug. 12 and visit 17 cities in 11 states over 12 weeks. The bus tour will focus on areas where there are no state-wide nondiscrimination laws.

Joe Solmonese and other officials. Then join the bus for refreshments and take part in the ‘On the Road to Equality’ video.

Later that night at Club Sound, 579 W. 200 S. in Salt Lake City, Tony-nominated Broadway star Gavin Creel will perform and headline the dance party. Enter for a chance to win tickets to Equality Utah’s annual Allies Dinner and raise funds for the Utah Pride Center.

“We are in the midst of a cultural tipping point on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender issues and our job is to push the scale T h e as far and as fast as we can tour will feature SOURCE: HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN toward fairness,” said HRC educational seminars, QSALTLAKE GRAPHIC President Joe Solmonese in legal documents for famia press release. “The tour will lies and community forums in an attempt to raise more awareness about serve as a powerful visibility tool and supthe difficulties members of the gay, lesbian, port the work of creating real and lasting bisexual and transgender community often change in these communities.”

The tour announcement comes with face.

On Aug. 12, the bus will stop at the Utah the release of a recent poll that indicates Pride Center, 355 N. 300 W. in Salt Lake City, 51 percent of Americans support full marfor a meet and greet with HRC President riage equality for same-sex couples. How-

ever, in the Midwest and the South, that number drops to 43 percent, which is why the tour will be focusing on those areas.

Nationally, 79 percent of Americans support protections against discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity in the workplace and housing.

And 73 percent of Americans support antibullying measures.

“The poll shows Americans believe in fairness but also that we have a long way to go in realizing that goal,” said Solmonese in the press release. “Our efforts on the road this summer and fall are a first step in bridging the gap between where LGBT people are now and achieving the dream of equality to which the vast majority of Americans aspire.”

Tour schedule: Aug. 12–14

Salt Lake City, Utah

Aug. 19–21

Omaha & Lincoln, Neb.

Aug. 26–28

Lawrence, Kan. & Kansas City, Mo.

Sept. 1–5

New Orleans, La.

Sept. 9–11

Austin & College Station, Texas

Sept. 16–18

Little Rock, Ark.

Sept. 23–25

Louisville & Lexington, Ky.

Sept. 30–Oct. 3 Washington, DC Oct. 7–9

Atlanta, Ga.

Oct. 14–16

Birmingham & Tuscaloosa, Ala.

Oct. 21–23

Jacksonville, Fla.

Oct. 28–30

Orlando, Fla.

Openly gay candidate bids for Midvale City Council Helping community development and other regional community growth programs is the most important issue for an openly gay candidate for Midvale City Council. Alan Anderson doesn’t want to make his sexuality the defining issue of his candidacy, and instead he’d like to focus on representing Midvale and helping the community grow.

“I love my city. I love my neighborhood and I really do think it is the hidden gem of the valley,” Anderson said. “I am really interested in running not because I am gay, but because I care about my neighborhood and I want to see it develop.”

Anderson has been involved politically on several levels, and while the race is officially non-partisan, he has held different leadership positions within the Democratic Party. He is now running for Midvale City Council District 3, which is a four-year term.

“I first voted for George McGovern in 1972, and I’ve been involved in politics in one way or another since,” he said.

Anderson has been a precinct and legislative chair within the party and he has

also been involved in grassroots activism for different Democratic candidates.

Anderson moved to Utah in 1978 and has been active in his community and queer rights in his sometimes conservative neighborhood.

“With the enormous help from Brandie Balken and Equality Utah, I helped get the anti-discrimination measures into Midvale, which were passed unanimously,” Anderson said.

Because there is little more that can be done concerning queer rights at the city level, Anderson said that is not a main focus for his candidacy and if elected, he said one of his main goals would be to help bring some revitalization efforts to struggling areas of the city.

“I live in a nice neighborhood and I’d really like to see all of Midvale live up to its potential,” Anderson said.

Anderson said his sexuality hasn’t been an issue so far in the campaign and his opponents, Paul Hunt and Neil Whicker, have not made any indication that it would become one.

ISSUE 186

QSALTLAKE

Q uni Aqua Aid Help raise funds for the Utah AIDS Foundation with sexy entertainment, delicious drinks and a terrific pool party. In its 11th year, the fundraiser is one of the sexiest and fun events of the summer.

Utah’s premier athletic group, QUAC, will provide the entertainment. Ticket packages start at just $25.

WHEN: Aug. 6, 3-6 p.m.

WHERE: 3693 Oakview Dr. COST: $25 INFO: UtahAIDS.org

Jumbo Slip N’ Slide Join the Fabby Award-winning Simply Social’s second annual Jumbo Slip N’ Slide at Popperton Park in Salt Lake City.

A 300-foot long piece of plastic will be stretched down the hill and everyone is invited to take a turn. Bring picnic, toss around the ol’ pigskin, but just remember to have a good time. This event is for everyone - gay, straight, bi and trans.

WHEN: Aug. 14, 1-5 p.m.

WHERE: Popperton Park, 1400 E. 360 North INFO: tinyurl.com/simplysocial

Gay Day at Park Silly Market Join QSaltLake as we paint the town pink and turn Park City fabulous for the QSaltLake Park Silly Day. The Park Silly Market is one of the largest farmers markets in the state and features vendors and artisans from around the region. The market runs from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Park City’s Main Street.

Watch the fabulous QSaltLake restaurant reviewer and Ecole Dijon Cooking School Chef Drew from 11:30 a.m. to noon and then get dolled up for the Miss Park Silly Contest from noon to 1 p.m.

WHEN: Aug. 14 WHERE: Park City Main Street

“I think times are really changing, for example, Jim Dabakis was just elected to lead the Democrats in Utah. I just don’t think it’s an issue that people care about as much,” Anderson said.

Along with politics, Anderson is involved in the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire, Utah’s oldest LGBT-oriented charity.

Because there are three candidates vying for the same position, a run-off election will be held Sept. 13 to narrow the field down to two candidates for the general election in November. To find out more information about the campaign or to donate, go to Anderson4Midvale.com.

Utah Pride Center Golf Classic The 12th annual Utah Pride Center Golf Classic on Aug. 28 is a fundraising event for the center and packed full of stylish fun and terrific prizes. The event has a kick-off party on Aug. 26 at Club JAM. WHEN: Aug. 28 WHERE: Stonebridge Golf Course, 4415 Links Dr., WVC COST: $125 INFO: UtahPrideCenter.org

QSALTLAKE.COM

ISSUE 186

AUGUST 4, 2011

Senate candidate Chris Stout is strong ally for queer community

crease in spending — investing in a functional and effective educational system is also essential to providing the resources small businesses need to succeed, he said.

“I support a very progressive platform,” Stout said. “I know that most would say it’s a long shot. But Utah is, and always has been, my home. And I refuse to believe that it is as red of a state as others would have me believe.”

While Stout is straight, he is an ally to the queer community and said he supports the repeal of the anti-gay law, the Defense of Marriage Act, and the passage of a bill that would protect against bias based on sexual orientation and gender identity in the workplace and housing.

“I even support gay marriage. I just think it’s a civil matter,” Stout said. “While not all rights are enumerated exactly in the Bill of Rights, marriage should be made available to gay couples.”

“Why do we have to look at sexual orientation, gender identity and race so closely?

I look at it as a broad brush and look at people in general. And I’ll work until everybody has the same opportunity.”

In order to succeed in his bid for Senate, he will need donations of time and money.

To get involved, go to ChristopherStout. org. Q

ates don’t stay in Cedar City because they can’t find good opportunities. I’d like to see small grants for local start-ups, and a focus on bringing in tech jobs.

We have a great community here, but I’m running because the people I talk to as I’ve been speaking with people and I’m don’t feel like their views are represented hearing that they are feeling disconnected. and they’re not in the position that I am; I We have robust volunteer programs that have the time, support and energy to make the average resident has never heard of. things happen.

When did you first get involved in poliWhat are some of the most important is- tics? sues for you and what would you like to I started paying attention during the 2000 see changed in Cedar City? presidential campaign. I became involved Now there’s a trick question. They’re all on a local level as the president of SUUimportant issues! Still, I’ve boiled my cam- QSA, and realized that I could do more by paign down to three words: availability, op- getting directly involved. It’s my first race, portunity and community. and everyone tells me that engagement is Most citizens only get a chance to make the key to success, so I’m knocking on evtheir views known at city council meetings, ery door in Cedar City and asking people and they only get five minutes to speak per for their votes directly. meeting. I’d like to see the city improve its Do you think your previous involvement online presence and social networking to in LGBT rights will make it more difficult reach out to people rather than waiting for to get elected? people to reach out to the city. I’ll have an Not really. The vast majority of people that open-door policy, including walk-in office I talk with are LDS, and the church has hours that are more convenient for people supported anti-discrimination ordinances that work second-shift or have to be home just like I do. Most people believe in basic with their children during council meetcivil-rights protections for everyone, just ing time. like I do. I’ve talked to more people that apThe city leadership has been dedicated preciated my willingness to stand up for to bringing in more jobs, and they’re inwhat’s right than I have to people who disnovative in their ideas. They are about to agreed with those things. vote on bringing a winery to town, and they reduced impact fees to attract more How can people get involved in your cambusinesses. I think we need to focus more paign, and where do they go to donate? on real careers, not just jobs. SUU gradu- I need people to knock on doors, make calls

and register voters. I’m the only candidate not in a position to self-finance my race, so I also need your donation. We’re in the process of getting our online donation system up and running, so you will soon be able to donate at bensmithforcitycouncil.com or you can email me at ben@bensmithforcitycouncil or call me at 435-862-5552 to volunteer, or if you have any questions. Q

that’s a good thing,” Stout said. “His recent voting record shows he’s trying to appeal to the conservatives.”

Matheson was one of five Democrats who voted for the Cut, Cap and Balance Bill sponsored by Jason Chaffetz, who is rumored to be running for the same seat on the Republican ticket. The bill was called irresponsible and dangerous by the Obama administration and was seen largely as a gesture vote appealing to the far right of the Republican Party.

“Matheson is actually the reason I became involved in politics,” Stout said.

“When I saw his vote against the health care bill, which was far from perfect, but a step in the right direction, I couldn’t understand how he could vote against it.”

Along with supporting health care reform, Stout, who is a sales tax accountant, said he supports a responsible government with real-world solutions to cutting the budget. Stout said he would support cutting down some defense spending and redundant programs, and increasing revenue through land sales and other management solutions.

Queer-rights ally runs for Cedar City Council

By Seth Bracken

Running for city office in a small town in Southern Utah may not be the most prestigious position in politics. But queerrights advocate, and former president of the Southern Utah University Queer Student Alliance, Ben Smith, is in this race for the long haul and is looking for support from allies. He’ has some big ideas for improving the city, but can’t win the race alone.

What made you want to run for office?

I’ve been involved in local issues for a while and I worked on the anti-discrimination ordinance that sadly didn’t pass the city council, although a resolution did. It put me in contact with a lot of people who had great ideas all across Cedar City. I wasn’t actually planning to run until a friend made me realize that someone had to find a way to make all these ideas realities and get them discussed in the public square.

7

Stout, a Gulf War veteran, said he backs a reasonable approach to defense spending measures.

“I’m an army veteran, but my accountant side says you can’t be in perpetual war,” Stout said. “When killing people to get to some undefined goal is what you base your national defense on, it’s no longer national defense.”

However, the cuts wouldn’t equal a weak military and funding can be made through a reasonable tax policy that isn’t bias toward companies that carry jobs overseas and out of the country, he said.

Supporting small businesses through tax structure and credit lines is the only way to really increase the amount of jobs in the country, Stout said.

“Small business has interest in the U.S., Utah and Salt Lake City. Those businesses are going to motivate and innovate through the coming economy. Corporations aren’t necessarily bad, but when all they’re concerned about is the bottom line, that often translates to carrying jobs overseas for cheaper labor,” Stout said.

A small-business owner himself, Stout has experience in money management and describes himself, not as fiscally conservative, but as “fiscally responsible.”

Not all of Stout’s platforms include a de-

By Seth Bracken

A Democrat in Utah who openly supports gay marriage and Obama’s health care plan, and considers the current status quo for liberals in Utah unacceptable, might be a long shot for a statewide position, but don’t tell that to Chris Stout.

In a second bid for a Senate position, Stout is going to do things a little differently this time than in his 2010 race where he lost to his party challenger Sam Granato — despite rumors that Rep. Jim Matheson might make a bid for the same seat. Matheson has declined to comment on whether he will be running for his current Congressional seat, a Senate position or even the governorship.

“The longer Jim waits to make up his mind the more people will get behind me.

There will be a convention fight, I don’t think that’s a bad thing, but I don’t think

NEWS

8 NEWS

AUGUST 4, 2011

Young Utahns support samesex marriage, poll reports Utahns age 18 to 29 support legalizing same-sex marriage by a 42-39 percent margin, according to a new poll released

by Public Policy Polling on Thursday. The Utah population at large opposes same-sex marriage by a 66-27 percent margin.

However, there is a huge divide between Mormon Utahns and those that either identify with other religions or are not at all religious. Members of the Mormon Church oppose gay marriage by a 81-13 percent margin, while those of other religions support marriage equality by a 63-29 percent margin, according to the poll.

The survey also included a question about the inclusion of civil unions and found that only 23 percent of respondents oppose some sort of legal recognition for

same-sex couples. This finding is in stark contrast with current elected leaders, such as Gov. Gary Herbert and a very conservative legislature, who oppose any legal recognition of gay couples.

Former Gov. Jon Huntsman made headlines when he admitted his support for civil union recognition for gay couples in Utah.

Currently, Salt Lake City is the only municipality that recognizes couples through a domestic partnership registry called the mutual commitment registry.

Although the Mormon Church has had a history supporting polygamy and opposing interracial marriage, that is not the case for Mormon voters. With a 75-14 percent margin, Utah voters think that polygamy should be illegal. And among

Census data indicates increase in gay couples in Utah The number of reported same-sex couples living together in Utah jumped 73 percent over the past decade, according to recently released Census data. This came as the total number of Utah households grew by only 25 percent.The Census shows that the number of same-sex couples living together in Utah at 5,814, which is up from 3,360 in the year 2000.

Each county in Utah reported at least one same-sex couple, although more than 80 percent were reported in the four Wasatch Front counties of Salt Lake, Davis, Weber and Utah. This could mean that more gay couples are moving into Utah, but more likely, it means that gay couples feel more comfortable reporting their relationship status, said Gary Gates, a demographer at the University of California-Los Angeles Williams Institute. Although there are few

legal protections for queer Utahns, there is a changing climate and a recent poll found that 42 percent of Utahns age 18 to 29 support legalizing gay marriage, while only 29 oppose it, indicating an evolving climate for gay couples.

“There is some general migration into Utah and that could largely come from more liberal areas, and people might feel more comfortable reporting it,” Gates said.

The trend of sky-rocketing reports of same-sex couples cohabiting holds true for more conservative areas, such as Montana (80 percent), Oklahoma (70 percent) and Arizona (70 percent), Gates said. While more traditionally liberal areas, such as California (36 percent), reported some growth, but not nearly at the same rate as Utah and other conservative areas, he said.

While Gates said he agrees with the over-

Bike for Life 2011 to benefit UAF

By Brad Di Iorio

The Utah AIDS Foundation announced the 2011 Bike for Life course and their goals in continuing the biking fundraiser as Saturday, Sep. 17, starting at Liberty Park in conjunction with the annual Walk for Life 2011 event.

“This is the third year for the Bike for Life,” said Larry Lee, UAF board member and Bike for Life committee member. “This year we have a great, flat, scenic route with very little traffic, and the ride is fully supported.”

According to Lee, the route will begin at Liberty Park, Saturday morning at 8 a.m., through Salt Lake neighborhoods

Mormon voters that jumped to 78 percent oppose polygamy. Only 5 percent of Utahns said they oppose interracial marriage and 88 percent said they support it.

The survey also found waning support for freshman Sen. Mike Lee. His approval rating came in at a tepid 51 percent approval and 31 percent disapproval. Even among Republicans, he only had a 52 percent approval and 22 percent of registered voting Republicans did not approve. Only 6 percent of register Democrats said they approve of Lee’s job performance in the Senate while 60 percent disapprove.

The poll also found a divide in Utah’s favorite colleges with 33 percent claiming allegiance to the University of Utah, 35 percent for Brigham Young University and 11 percent for Utah State University.

It was a random polling of 732 Utah voters and the margin of error was plus or minus 3.6 percent. To read the full poll, go to publicpolicypolling.com.

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not as I do Rick Perry: Defender of States’ Rights Texas Gov. Rick Perry is famously conservative. After the Obama election he threatened to take Texas from the Union and form its own country. Although he backed off, his ideas weren’t seen as unbelievably outlandish. He claimed it was his state’s right to leave the Union, and he is consistently touting his conservative and state’s rights credentials. But his beliefs are coming under fire after statements he made regarding gay marriage in New York. He said he supported New York’s right to legalize same-sex marriage. However, after a firestorm of conservative backlash, he backtracked on

all trend of increased reporting of gay couples, there is a large margin of error in the data. There are some inherit problems with the wording of the Census and some opposite-sex couples most likely inadvertently skewed the numbers to increase them.

“There are about 60 million oppositesex couples in the U.S. and about 600,000 same-sex couples,” Gates said. “If even only one of every thousand opposite-sex couples accidentally mislabeled their relationship as a same-sex partnership, that could mean about a 10 percent error. And we actually believe this number to be much higher. We believe as many as 25 percent of same-sex couples are mislabeled.”

However, the number of gay couples that chose not to fill out the form indicating their relationship out of fear of some sort of retaliation or discrimination may offset that mislabeling, he said.

“While there is ample evidence that the trend indicates an increasing willingness to mark the Census indicating a same-sex relationship, I maintain a certain level of skepticism for the report,” Gates said. $25, including the registration fee, will get a Bike for Life T-shirt that they can wear on the ride. Other incentives include a water bottle for $75 raised, a commemorative UAF cycling jersey for $100 raised, and for more than $500, an invitation to the annual UAF 500 Club Party, hosted by Gastronomy.

“The goal this year is to increase the number of riders,” Lee said. “We started the planning and advertising much earlier this year and we are hoping for 100 to 200 riders. The Bike for Life has the potential to not just be a significant fundraiser for UAF, but to remind more Utahns that HIV impacts all of us and we need to work together to combat the disease.”

to the Salt Lake City Airport’s south end, where “big gates” will be opened for riders to continue to Salt Air and the Great Salt Lake marina. Two distances are planned, a 25- and a 50-mile ride. The route will have rest stops and SAG vehicles to pick up riders with any problems. The end of the ride will be in the vicinity of the 9th and 9th Street Festival area.

“We just got Brent Hulme, the owner of SLC Bicycle Company to donate our on-site mechanic,” Lee said. “The mechanic will be located at the rest stop in the International Center. Anyone breaking down will be taken to this rest stop by our SAG wagons.” For more information, go to UtahAIDS.org and Registration is $15 and riders raising click on the Bike for Life/Walk for Life links.

his statements and muddied the waters with a statement saying he does not support gay marriage, nor will he ever.

Rick Santorum Opposes Some States’ Rights After hearing that Gov. Rick Perry of Texas was not furious and outraged about gay marriage in New York, presidential hopeful Rick Santorum announced he would go to New York and personally overturn marriage equality. Although he didn’t expound on how to do this, Santorum has long professed a belief in state’s rights. Apparently that only means the states have the rights he wants them to have.

Opponents Attack California LGBT History Bill Shortly after the California state government passed a bill that would require schools to teach about pioneers and events in queer history in public schools, a group of conservatives jumped in and began gathering signatures to overturn the law. Their reasoning was that politicians should not write the history books and allow historians to decide what should be included. What the group doesn’t point out is that most states prohibit any version of LGBT history from being taught and some states, like Tennessee, even discourage teachers from acknowledging the existence of gay people.

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NEWS

Pocatello Pride promises fun for all ages Grab your Cinderella slippers, your purple Chanel dress and make your way to Pocatello Pride for the masquerade ball, grand marshal reception, parties and festival in the town square. The Pride Festival, Aug.18–20, is in its 10th season and this year promises to be better than ever, said Toshia Harke, one of the event organizers.

“It’s going to be a blast for people of all ages,” Harke said. “We’ve got activities

strict formal dress code. Some masks will be provided, but should be purchased beforehand. Admission is $15 and it will be held at the Rosewood Reception Center.

The festival will be held in the Old Town Pavilion and entrance is $5 or a donation ranging from a masquerade ball with our of four cans of food.

“We wanted to make it accessible to evgrand marshal, Katastrophe, to a bounce eryone and we also wanted this to be an ophouse at the festival.”

The festival kicks off at H&R Hockey portunity to show the community we’re not with a skating party with hip-hop artist bad people,” Harke said. “We also accept Katastrophe, who is also a trans activ- other donations. Basically, we want people ist and co-owner of Original Plumbing, a to be able to come and have a good time.” magazine for trans men.

The festival will feature booths, food On Aug. 19, the Grand Marshal reception vendors and family-friendly activities. will be a themed masquerade ball with a Along with Katastrophe and other local

Trans rapper Katastrophe to headline Pocatello Pride

By Seth Bracken

In his day-to-day life, trans hip-hop artist Katasrophe, Rocco Kayiatos, is a lighthearted person, with a smile and a quick joke for strangers. But the pioneer in queer hip hop has a darker side to his lyrics that reflect a stronger sense of self reflection and societal discontent.

The San Francisco native and hip-hop pioneer will be the grand marshal and headlining act for Pocatello Pride, Aug. 1820. His music, raw and brooding, is often seen as groundbreaking for the trans and gender-queer community.

“I think I came into the world with a bit more existential baggage than most. I try to let it out by making music,” Katasrophe said. “Whether you’re gay, trans, a person

of color or straight, the world can be confusing and my music is just trying to make sense of all that.”

On his debut album, Let’s Fuck, Then Talk About My Problems, which was released in 2004, Katasrophe raps about his struggles with gender identity and transitioning. His album, which is mysterious, introspective and complex, highlights his deep voice and manic beats.

“I think my early work focused a lot on transitioning because that was a constant presence at that time,” Katasrophe said. “It’s been 10 years since I medically transitioned, and it is becoming less of a dominating topic in my music and lately I’ve been singing more about heartache, romance and getting sober.”

Katasrophe was named Producer of the Year by Outmusic and was described as one of the most accomplished rappers in the documentary about queer hip hop titled, Pick up the Mic. He released a second album in 2005 and his latest in 2009. His music has been featured in the Showtime series The L Word as well as in several short films.

The music video for his ‘The Life’ was on the Logo Top Ten Click List for 12 consecutive weeks.

He is a regular in Pride Festivals and has performed around

the country and in Europe.

“I couldn’t be more excited to come to Pocatello,” Katastrophe said. “I am so honored to be the grand marshal and my mom is even flying in to see me. I can’t wait.”

While his audience is not uniquely a queer crowd, his work and concerts often have a large queer presence.

“I was one of the first in the wave of first out hip-hop artists. As far as I know, I was one of the first trans guy to put a CD out and tour,” he said. “I think we’re moving toward a post-queer music world, and even a post-gender world. Kids in 20 years just won’t care.”

The line is being blurred between hip

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bands, the local drag troupe, Charley’s Angels, will have an hour-long performance of a lifetime on the main stage, Harke said.

The beer garden is hosted by local gay bar Charleys. There will be HIV and Hepatitis C testing, as well as vaccinations for Hepatitis A and B, Harke said.

After parties will be held throughout the weekend at Charleys, which has been an enormous supporter and sponsor of the event, Harke said.

“It’s been great to see the community come together and see all the support.”

For info, including hotel packages from the Red Lion Hotel go to PocatelloPride.com.

hop and dance music is drawing an increasingly strong queer influence on the rap world, and the future of exclusively queer artists is dubious at best, Katastrophe said.

“The music industry is based on nothing,” he said. “Does everyone love Katy Perry, or is someone paid so we all love Katy Perry?”

Regardless of where hip hop will be in the future, there’s no doubt that Katastrophe will be present with his soulful lyrics and impossible to forget beats. Q For more information about Pocatello Pride and how to get tickets to see him, go to PocatelloPride.com.

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VIEWS om the editor

Does sex equal love?

By Seth Bracken

G

ROWING UP AS A CONSERVATIVE Mormon closet-case, I was taught that sex was evil. The straight kind of sex didn’t appeal to me at all, and all the anecdotal advice about avoiding impure thoughts about women was a snap for me. I didn’t want to think about boobs in the first place, so I never once had to sing a hymn in my head to stop thinking about them. And don’t even get me started on the ‘v’ word.

The titillation I felt when posed with thoughts about guys, on the other hand, was a whole different story. But I knew that god didn’t approve of my feelings and I knew the only kind of intimacy I desired was evil. Faced with the alternative of having sex with only my wife, I developed a hatred and repulsion toward sex and sexuality. The idea of it offended me and ultimately, it warped my sense of well being.

My views on sexuality in general were confused and convoluted. I was told that heaven would exist so I could procreate with my wife(s) and populate my own planet. I couldn’t imagine a more terrible fate; I hated organizational duties and the idea of having sex with one woman, let alone with multiple, was nauseating.

Running a planet whilst having enough sex to populate a planet with Seth Juniors sounded like pure hell.

It was with this warped sense of sexuality and morality that I ventured into the world of gayness. I started dating men and still had my own sexual and relationship hang-ups. As I looked for a partner, I thought I wanted the gay equivalent of a Mormon family and I thought monogamy was the only option.

But as I questioned everything I had been taught about love and sex from

the Mormon upbringing, I had to come to the inevitable query: Does sex equal love? Could I separate the idea that two people are sexually compatible for life?

Or, as suggested by gay-sex columnist

The titillation I felt when posed with thoughts about guys, on the other hand, was a whole different story and organizer of the It Gets Better Project, Dan Savage, should monogamy be a choice within a relationship?

In my desire for normalcy and societal acceptance from my friends and family, I fear the idea of forming a relationship that somehow differs in behavior from

the traditionally accepted norms. But just as in other revolutions within the institution of marriage (see interracial couples, women’s liberation), could this be an acceptable change?

Go to any major pride festival around the world and tied into it, at its very core, is the idea of sexual liberation and freedom. The boys bouncing around in Speedos and the girls riding their Harleys topless aren’t just statements about homosexuality, but sexuality in a much broader sense. The denial of conventional wisdom about sex is commonplace.

Especially in a conservative environment, such as Utah, where we are taught in our schools and churches that sex is bad, and that thinking about it is evil and having it is almost as bad as murder. Sexual openness and discussion is a healthy step psychologically, emotionally and is a key factor for relationships, and the openness and acceptance of sexual taboo topics are some of the most important factors for Utah Pride.

The clash between the two movements, pushing for queer rights to normalize and integrate, and to stand out and liberate, is even more impacting than the idea of two men or two women saying, ‘I do.’ Q

QSaltLake welcomes your letters to the editor.

Please send your letter of 300 words or less to letters@qsaltlake.com.

We reserve the right to edit for length or libel if a letter is chosen for publication.

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lambda lore

Q on the str t

A gay history of Salt Lake Community College

Do you attend your high school reunions, and why or why not?

Jose Gutierrez Yes, I attended my high school reunion to see what happened with my high friends. I learned that they didn’t change.

Those who were friendly and kind were still friendly and kind. Those that were jerks were still jerks. Something did change actually, everyone got fat.

Joshua Lowell No. I hated those people in high school. Why would I want to hang out with them now that they are bald, fat and have 10 kids?

Steven Clark Nope. Our 10-year is next month. The first part of the reunion involves bringing your children to a park. The second part involves dinner with no booze. Neither of those sound appealing.

Kate Buhler No. I’m not paying $20 for a hot dog and to feel awkward. The reunion facebook page was annoying enough!!!

Annette Burke I went to my 10-year reunion. Did not attend the 5-year and won’t attend any others. Why? I was a pregnant senior year at graduation, I was pregnant at the time of the 5-year and I was pregnant when I attended the 10-year. They only remember me pregnant.

Paul Johnson Please! I can barely remember people I met last week, let alone those I went to school with some 20 odd years ago!

Plus my high school is located in a little town way out in the Mojave Desert! However, if I won the powerball & Hugh Jackman was my husband then HELL yes I’d go!

Ryan Chidester I’ll let you know in a few years.

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AUGUST 4, 2011

S

By Ben Williams

EVERAL WEEKS AGO I WAS poking around on Utah’s Digital Newspaper website and found that they had just recently added Salt Lake Community College’s student newspapers from 1959-2011. Being the nerd I am, I spent several days copying any articles that dealt with gay issues.

I will be the first to admit that I knew very little of the gay student clubs at SLCC. I never attended SLCC and I knew few gays that did.

Unlike the Queer Student Union at the University of Utah, the organizational memory of SLCC’s gay clubs is sparse due perhaps to the fact that it’s a two-year college. There is no long-term institutional memory. What I found interesting is that SLCC’s gay clubs were sustained more by their faculty advisers than by the students in their early history.

From what I was able to glean there appears to be four distinct periods when gay clubs were established on campus: two from the Utah Technical College days and two from the Salt Lake Community College era. They were the Gay Service Union (1979-1980), The Lesbian/Gay Student Union 1986-1989, The Gay and Lesbian Association (1992-1995) and Coloring Between the Lines (1997-present) This column’s focus is on the Utah Technical College’s clubs.

On Oct. 17, 1979 a survey was taken at “UTech” where students were asked what they would like to see on campus in the way of clubs or organizations. A list was compiled of clubs that were not already formed and these were published in the Nov. 5 Issue of Points West, the student newspaper. On this list was “Gay Services” in which some students and faculty expressed an interest as “an organized meeting oriented toward social progressives.”

Rumors immediately spread that someone was starting “a gay-rights movement on campus.” A student editor named Skip, who had initiated the move for more clubs on campus, wrote in an article titled “Is It Queer?” saying, “Not true. This doesn’t mean that hoards of screaming drag queens want to flood the campus or degrade the honour [sic] of our system.”

He promoted the new club for homosexuals because “it seems more civil to let them meet in a progressive manner than going to bars for a one-night trick or going to the park and getting mugged. And if the gay students on this campus can be decent about it and make it work, they deserve at least our lack of antagonism or harassment.”

Seven signatures were required to create a new club which the Gay Service Club managed to do. The first meeting was held Nov. 23, 1979, about two years after the first Gay Student Union was formed at the University of Utah.

The GSU never really got off the ground. It had already disbanded by spring of 1980 when an article dated March 3 reported; “Only two members showed up, a young male cosmetology student and a female mechanic who wore a tattoo that read ‘Support your local Rollerderby Team.’”

It wasn’t until six years later that another gay club was attempted at UTech but this time the main organizers were gay people. The Lesbian/Gay Student Union was established during Utah Techical College’s transformation into today’s Salt Lake Community College.

Alma Smith and Cecelia Anderson, in March of 1986, formed the LGSU, and in a letter to the editor dated March 12 they wrote: “There is a small but determined effort to establish a chapter of the Lesbian and Gay Student Union (LGSU) on campus. The purpose of this organization is to help educate those interested in the issues facing sexual minorities. Another goal is to help homosexuals and bisexuals in dealing with their feelings, the isolation they will feel and the prejudice they face.” Smith had been a founding member of a Salt Lake Chapter of Affirmation and as a student at UTech, he felt that out of a student population of 8,000 there should be at least 400 gay students on the Redwood Campus.

On March 31, 1986, LGSU presented a petition to the college’s student senate to be officially recognized. All other clubs that had petitioned the senate had been accepted, but the LGSU petition stirred a debate wherein the senators voted 7 to 6 to deny the club official status. This was the first club in the school’s history that had failed to receive recognition.

Anderson threatened to bring legal action against the school and even made a false claim that the ACLU of Utah had agreed to file a suit.

When this claim was corrected by the ACLU, Anderson had to step aside leaving Smith to battle for official status.

There was an outpouring of anti-gay sentiment during that spring term at UTech. Marguerite Millet, a student senator, claimed that the club would bring “nothing beneficial to the school, but it will use money needed for use-

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ful purposes and could be a medium for the spread of AIDS at the school.” Kathy Shea and Jeff Neal wrote a letter to the Points West editor stating, “Cecelia Anderson and Al Smith have referred to certain statistics and traits which are supposed to mandate how many and who are supposed to be gay. They call out to those without friends or of low social standing. If we study and examine tactics practiced by recruiters of drug addicts and terrorist groups the methods would show to be the same used by these letters.”

Because of the threat of a law suit, the senators met to recognize LGSU as a student club for a second time. Curtis Smout, college center director, spoke to the senators and told them that according to their own bylaws they must “legally recognize the club.” He stated, “It’s not a moral issue but a legal issue.” However, student senator Bob Baird countered Smout’s claim saying, “homosexuality is illegal in the state and recognizing this club would indeed promote an illegal act.” The student senate voted this time 11 to 4 to approve the club.

Ron Davidson a contributing writer for Points West took up the cause for recognition.

He wrote several articles critical of the editors of the newspaper who were on the student senate and had voted against recognition. He called it a serious conflict of interest that damaged the credibility of the paper. He alleged that “during the past couple of weeks there has been a lot of talk around campus regarding the Lesbian/Gay Student Union. There has been discussion in public meetings but very little in the campus newspaper.” He called for the student editors to either resign from the newspaper or the senate.

In May of 1986 The UTech Student Senate met to vote for the third time on recognition of LGSU as an officially sanctioned student organization. Judd Morgan, dean of students was the main voice in a closed meeting to discuss the opinion of Utah’s State Attorney General on the matter. Reporter Ron Davidson commented that the meeting was closed to save embarrassment to any senate members. This time the vote was 10 to 3 in favor of recognition. Millet one of the three hold-outs stated, “I can’t approve anything that is against the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.”

Smith served as the first President of LGSU for a year before graduating in 1987. On May 21, 1987 the LGSU elected Richard “Ragnar” McCall as a new club president who also served a full term. But after him leadership became sparse and the LGSU folded about 1989 from a lack of support and interest, and students moving on with their lives. Q

Thank you for being a friend.

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AUGUST 4, 2011

the straight line A cultural shift

The key to real and lasting social change is to never quit and never hide. If we want to see change, we need to stand up for it, to make society recognize our beliefs and our values. There will be times when the voices of opposition are so deafeningly loud that it feels hopeless, but that is the

By Bob Henline proverbial “darkest point before dawn.” As we get closer and closer to our goals, the voices of the bigots will grow louder and HE RESULTS FROM THE 2010 Census in rights, privileges, protections and respon- more desperate.

Utah are in, and they provide some sibilities to everyone under law. As laws What we’re seeing now is a real changinteresting information. According change, so will attitudes. For every new ing of the tide in people’s attitudes toward to the Census, roughly one in every bigot there will be 10 open-minded people, same-sex relationships, marriages and 150 households in Utah is headed by a gay then 20, then 100. families. The “traditionalist” elements or lesbian couple. Additionally, approximately one-third of these 5,814 households include children under the age of 18. Between 2000 and 2010 the number of same-sex households increased by 73 percent in Utah, while the overall population increased by only 25 percent.

I think these numbers represent someBy Kyle Foote thing far more interesting than just statistics: They represent a changing attitude in our society. While there are still those that are outspokenly homophobic, we see more and more people not only willing to come ET’S FACE IT, SEX WITHOUT laughter ... that same 150-pound person has up to 30 out, but also more and more people being well, it’s still sex and still fun, but sex minutes of fabulously wild monkey-love, accepting of gay people, gay couples and with laughter is like having a great they will burn 54 calories. Getting real here, gay parents in our society. big birthday cake every day and get- how many of us are having wild monkeyWhile I’m sure that there are more same- ting to eat it, too. The improvement to your love for a half hour at a time on a regular sex couples living in Utah today than there mental state, let alone the physical bene- basis? Now, think about how many of us were 10 years ago, I sincerely doubt that fits, makes sex and laughter a quantifiable can easily laugh for 15 minutes when we there are 73 percent more. What I see in combination that can really benefit anyone get together with a good friend or trusted this is that more people are willing to ac- well, but, in particular, folks with any sort loved one. So far, laughter really is better of chemical imbalance, brain chemistry than sex — calorie-wise, that is.

Whether you are laughing or having sex, problem, or even a diagnosed mental illness. So, why not relax and enjoy the silliness of sex or just a good old-fashioned belly laugh now and again?

I once had a friend who believed we were in love because every time we got together, we would end up bent over in an unbridled fit of laughter and giggles. We never had sex, but we laughed so hard and so long that rolling around on the floor in a near aneurysm was common practice for us. knowledge that they are in same-sex rela- During our silly sessions, he would often cry tears of joy in release. Although we tionships, there is less fear of social stigma never consummated our relationship, our and ostracism than there was 10 years ago. time together produced an endorphin-high both activities produce a series of complex This is the real bright spot to this news, not unlike the ones produced from any true biochemical reactions which lower the levthat there is less fear and more acceptance love affair. Curious, isn’t it? els of stress-causing hormones like adrenfrom society as a whole.

When you get right down to it biologi- aline and cortisone. Laughter and sex both Social change, unfortunately, is a time- cally — is laughter better than sex? I know are relaxing in that way. They also both consuming process. It took years of effort some people who think chocolate is better cause an endorphin surge which gets you before women were allowed to vote in this than sex and there is even a wicked little naturally high and strengthens your imcountry, and even more time for the pas- dessert called “better than sex,” which mune system. Endorphins are the body’s sage of meaningful civil-rights legislation has chocolate pudding, graham cracker natural pain relievers for arthritis aches, with respect to people of color. Many will crumbs, marshmallow, and chocolate muscle aches, regular headaches and even argue (and rightfully so, in my opinion) chips in it, but is it really better than sex? migraines.

Endorphins are the happy hormones that equality between the sexes and the Not calorically speaking. Not at all.

Calorie-wise, here’s the skinny on the that stimulate the limbic system in our races still doesn’t truly exist in this country. There are still notable cases of bigotry goodness of both sex and laughter. Laugh- brains. The limbic system is the area that that exist and that is for one simple reason: ing burns calories. A 150-pound person will controls emotions like excitement, love, use up somewhere between 10 to 40 calo- fear, anxiety, addiction, etc. In the limbic you can’t legislate a change in attitude.

What we can legislate, however, is a ries if their hysterics add up to 15 minutes a system are the amygdale, nucleaus acchange in the way people are treated under day. Sex also burns up calories, but it really cumbens hippocampus, as well as the law. The law should recognize everyone depends on the quality of the sex. A healthy cerebral cortex or outermost part of the as inherently equal and provide the same 150-pound person only burns 13 calories brain. These are the centers deep within for 15 minutes of ho-hum sex. However, if the brain that provide the perceptions for

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mind gaymes Sex and Laughter

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Once that tide takes hold, nothing will be able to stop it

During our silly sessions, he would often cry tears of joy in release

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within our society maintain, and will continue to maintain, their opposition, but the rank and file of the population is moving toward acceptance. Once that tide takes hold, nothing will be able to stop it.

Will Utah recognize same-sex marriage by the time the next Census comes around?

I’d love to see it happen, and I will be working toward that alongside other activists in this community. We’ll work to change those laws, and with that work will come a change in attitudes. History proves that sooner or later equality will happen, let’s work together to make it sooner, rather than later. Q

intense pleasure as well as fearful emotions. Endorphins are hormones that bind to the receptor cells of the limbic system and trigger an explosion of neurons that give a sense of joy and euphoria to people.

Kind of like a little orgasm in your brain.

Those are the physical aspects of laughter and sex. There are mental aspects as well such as the recent studies which show how an orgasm can actually increase the IQ level in women. So, the more sex you have, the more orgasms you have, the more IQ points you can acquire. In fact, there are even studies showing that some zones in the brain are excited by both sex and laughter.

The phases of laughter are very similar to, and parallel with, the phases of sexual excitement — equal to foreplay, heightened excitement and orgasm. That is the reason why both sex and a good belly laugh will leave you pleasantly exhausted and feeling spent. In the initial prelude to laughter and sex, the body begins to flush and the temperature increases. Next, the facial muscles strain by themselves, the skin becomes more sensitive, and breathing gets heavier, quicker and uneven. The eyes become wet, and we close them in laughter in the same way we do during a sexual orgasm.

Then, just like after sex, when we finally stop roaring with laughter, our muscles relax, our body temperature and breathing normalizes and flushed skin disappears. In fact, many people describe feeling something similar to orgasm when they laugh.

It all winds down to a pleasant feeling of exhaustion which is complemented by a rush of endorphins flooding the body.

Whichever way you get your natural high, or even if you combine laughter with sex, you’re doing your body, your self and your emotions a favor. So, why not do both more frequently?

Kyle Foote facilitates a free NAMI Connection Support Group for members of the LGBT Community who suffer from a mental illness. All in need are encouraged to attend. The group is held every Monday night, excluding holidays, at 7 p.m.at the Downtown Campus of the Salt Lake Community College across from Library Square (231 E. 400 S. in Room #111). For additional information on the support group contact Kyle Foote directly at facebook.com/ newtopic or visit namiut.org.

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Qu r gnosis Bear your testimony A conversation with Rick Jacobs from The Courage Campaign.

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By Troy Williams

OR THOSE WHO GREW UP as Latter-day Saints the act of bearing your testimony is a monthly ritual to strengthen congregations as individual members share stories of faith.

Now progressive activists are also tuning into the power of personal narrative — and The Courage Campaign is asking you to share your testimony on behalf of LGBT Americans.

The Courage Campaign is an online organizing network that empowers more than 700,000 grassroots and netroots activists to push for progressive change throughout the country. You may remember them from their controversial “Home Invasion” video that depicted two Mormon missionaries ransacking a lesbian couple’s home to tear up their marriage license. I recently spoke with the campaign’s founder and current chair Rick Jacobs on KRCL’s RadioActive.

TROY WILLIAMS: You are powering a movement through narrative — so let’s start out with your story — you were a gay kid in Tennessee? How was that?

RICK JACOBS: Well it was a little difficult. I had liberal parents. I grew up in a liberal enclave of Tennessee which I know sounds oxymoronic. Oakridge was built as part of the Manhattan Project during World War II. I always called it Mayberry with Ph.D.’s. I’m 53 and when I was growing up it wasn’t very common to see out gay people. I knew I was gay but I didn’t want to be.

TW: It wasn’t as hip and cool back then.

RJ: Not only was it not cool it was scary. Thir-

ty years ago was also the beginning of “gay cancer” as HIV was initially called. But I was always interested in the political process. I considered myself a liberal. I always thought I would marry a high school girlfriend of mine.

But thankfully that didn’t happen.

TW: I read that Howard Dean gave you the courage to politicize your identity.

RJ: He did. Eleven years ago Howard Dean, as governor of Vermont, signed civil union legislation. It was historic. The first money behind Howard Dean’s presidential campaign in 2002 was gay money. He was a hero in the community. He gave me the ability to see that if we are all who we really are and if we have integrity through and through, we have more power. I don’t mean political power. I don’t mean power over others. I mean we have more personal power to live a fulfilled life. I eventually quit my job and went to chair his campaign in California.

TW: I was surprised to read that one of the motivating factors behind the Courage Campaign was quite simply that California lacked a progressive infrastructure.

RJ: It surprises a lot of people. California is not a battle-ground state in presidential races. People think of us as solidly blue. The net effect though is that California exports labor and capital for every national political cause because this is where the money is.

Our state is broken but we don’t get involved.

People here are oftentimes more interested in national politics. That’s why I invented the Courage Campaign. Prop 8 happened and we

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grew dramatically after that. Today we have over 750,000 members. And now have a national online lesbian, gay, bisexual transgender program designed to give people the power, drive and platform to tell their own stories.

TW: There is something profoundly moving about people telling their stories.

RJ: There is. You know I was thrilled to be in Salt Lake City for Pride. I went to the parade with my sister and her daughter, and I’ve got to say — what Valerie Larabee, Brandie Balken and Jim Dabakis and all of the other wonderful leaders in Utah have done is truly a model for the rest of the country. It is amazing. I’m thrilled at Courage to lift your model up to the rest of the country and see what happens. It’s a lot easier to be gay in Hollywood than it is in Salt Lake City. At least until you and your colleagues came along.

TW: Thanks. So you have a testimony challenge going?

RJ: We do. If people go to couragecampaign. org you’ll see a video from Dustin Lance Black. It’s about bearing your testimony and telling your story. The way we change people’s minds is we tell our story. We don’t argue with them. We don’t yell at them. We don’t give them a bunch of facts. We tell our stories and we live.

TW: So how can people take the challenge?

ISSUE 186

QSALTLAKE

snaps & slaps SNAP: Apple Removes iTunes from Christian Values Network Apple has removed their iTunes store from the Christian Values Network website after more than 22,000 people signed a petition asking the company to do so.

The CVN funds several anti-gay and antiwomen groups like the Family Research Council. Apple is hardly the first large corporation to pull their ads from the site and Macy’s recently did so as well. When asked why the company chose to pull their ads, a Macy’s spokesperson said the company values diversity and is deeply committed to engender a culture of inclusiveness and supporting all customers.

SLAP: ‘Kill the Gays’ Bill is Back in Uganda

RJ: It’s really simple. Just go to couragecampaign.org/testimony. Sign up, make a profile, click and make a video. It’s that simple. The first one I did was about growing up in Tennessee.

The bill has been defeated before, but

TW: And they only have to be a couple minutes long?

introduced again by Otto Odonga. The

RJ: They are better when they are short. People will watch something that is a couple minutes long. Use your iPhone, your computer, whatever it takes. Don’t worry what it looks like just tell your story. You know, I want to go back to your colleagues and friends in Utah. Every story we can get from Salt Lake City is so powerful. The story of what is really happening in Utah is not really well known to people outside. It’s an exciting story of progress.

Parliament closed without addressing or

TW: I love that The Courage Campaign is multi-issue. In addition to LGBT equality you are also working on health insurance reform, cannabis legalization and other issues.

ing to make gay men more aware of the

RJ: We are. We believe in our members. We do what they want us to do. We are member funded and powered. If you are gay do you think how taxes are assessed affects you? I do. If you are gay and the schools don’t work that affects you (even if you don’t have kids) because that means the country is not turning out people who can be active and productive in building the economy. I don’t think there is such a thing as a gay issue. The gay agenda is America. A country that embraces diversity and builds power for everybody. Q

disease. Henan is home to more than

Learn more about Rick Jacobs at couragecampaign.org.

it is back and moving faster than ever.

The sponsor of the bill that would make homosexuality punishable by death was last time the bill was introduced, the voting on the measure. While there is no firm date for introduction or voting, the bill could be considered as early as the end of August.

SNAP: Chinese Province Working to Control AIDS The Chinese province Henan is pledgrisks of contracting HIV and AIDS while educating about ways to prevent the 50,000 people who have HIV or AIDS, and the goals are to keep that number below 65,000 and to lower the death rate from the disease. There may be some difficulties from local government in implementing the education campaign because of a stigma against gay men and those that are HIV-positive. However, the launch of the health campaign is the first of its kind in the province.

QSALTLAKE.COM

M

ISSUE 186

VIEWS

AUGUST 4, 2011

cr p of the w k Marcus Bachmann

By D’Anne Witkowski

ARCUS BACHMANN and the Christian counseling clinics he owns are not anti-gay. And if you say they are then you’re just an antihetero hate crimer. Stop hate criming, gays! So hateful, gays are, about people who are just trying to help them stop being disgusting queers who make Jesus puke.

Thankfully Bachmann, and his presidential hopeful wife, Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, have Brian Fischer, a foremost expert in anti-gay quackery, on their side.

Fischer claims that the Bachmanns have “hatred ... directed against them because of their religious beliefs” that borders “on a hate crime. You could also make the point that this bigotry against the Bachmanns is based on their sexual orientation.”

Um, yes, I suppose you could argue that.

If you must. The logic train stops here, folks. Everybody off.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “How is it unfair to call Bachmann anti-gay? He called gays “barbarians” and his clinics try to “cure” gay people?

Not so fast. That’s just the liberal news media messing with your mind.

“We have to understand: barbarians need to be educated. They need to be disciplined. Just because someone feels it or thinks it doesn’t mean that we are supposed to go down that road. That’s what is called the sinful nature. We have a responsibility as parents and as authority figures not to encourage such thoughts and feelings from moving into the action steps,” Bachmann “supposedly” said of homosexuals last summer.

He continued, “And let’s face it: what is our culture, what is our public education system doing today? They are giving full, wide-open doors to children, not only giving encouragement to think it but to encourage action steps. That’s why when we understand what truly is the percentage of homosexuals in this country, it is small.

But by these open doors, I can see, and we are experiencing, that it is starting to increase.”

Why “supposedly?” Because Bachmann

now claims that the audio recording of these comments, made to the Christian Point of View radio show, must have been “doctored.”

“I was talking in reference to children.

Nothing, nothing to do with homosexuality. That’s not my mindset. That’s not my belief system. That’s not the way I would talk,” Bachmann told the Star Tribune.

Get it? He was talking about kids. Totally normal mindset/belief system for a “mental health professional” (selfprofessed, of course) to have about kids. Not sure what “thoughts and feelings” he was talking about or what he meant by “it” if his statement had “nothing, nothing to do with homosexuality,” especially since he seems pretty obsessed with homosexuality. And never mind that he did, in fact, say “homosexuals” in that “doctored” recording.

Speaking of doctors, Bachmann isn’t one. He does, however, own counseling clinics that offer anti-gay reparative therapy. In other words, if you’re a homo they’ll help you pray the gay away for pay. This practice has been renounced by groups like the American Medical Association and the American Psychiatric Association.

An undercover gay activist (Curses! Gays are so tricky!) from Truth Wins Out received “therapy” at Bachmann’s clinic that was supposed to get the gay out of him. His “therapist” said things like, “God designed our eyes to be attracted to the woman’s body, to be attracted to everything, to be attracted to her breasts.” He also said that “in terms of how God created us, we’re all heterosexual.”

As the Star Tribune reported, Bachmann said counselors at his clinics follow the wishes of patients and don’t force any treatment. See? It’s totally the patient’s fault. You walk in to any reputable clinic and ask for some discredited and dangerous practice and they’ll be all, “Well, if you say so, the customer is always right.”

As Bachmann has (not directly) said, “God bless the free market system and god damn the gays.” Q

‘We have to understand: barbarians need to be educated.

They need to be disciplined’

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ISSUE 186

By H. Rachelle Graham

‘I

LIKE YOU THE WAY YOU ARE. It doesn’t matter what orientation you are.”

These are the last words my mom might ever speak to me.

“No you don’t! And you’re by far not the only one in this family who wants me to be different,” I said, slamming the door behind me. These are the last words I spoke, words I don’t even know are true.

I opened my eyes, trying to shake the memory so I could focus. A severe case of vertigo coming on made that impossible.

The professor’s lips moved, but I couldn’t make out a single thing she was saying. And the room spun faster than a tea cup at Disneyland.

I undid my hairpiece when my phone started beeping. A few members of the class turned to look at me, but luckily the professor hadn’t noticed. I stared at my hand, wondering if it was still attached to my body. I touched it to make sure there was still feeling.

I felt so numb, I reached zombie-status. I wanted Angelina Jolie to come in and give me a kiss on the lips, see if I’d feel it.

I checked the message, hoping it was from my sisters or dad, but it was only a text from the phone company.

I slammed the phone shut. No more of this stuffy room. I collected my book and folder and headed to the professor. I reported to her about what was going on and she looked flabbergasted that I’d even bothered to come to class.

I took the short shuttle bus ride to the University of Utah Hospital. I opened the ER door, and immediately heard familiar voices. Faces of my immediate family and their spouses, as well as my mom’s sisters filled the tiny room. This was the only time in eight years it wasn’t me in that hospital bed.

Then, I noticed my sisters looked worried and tearful.

“How is she? Where’s Dad?” I asked her without taking a breath. I leaned my head on Angie’s, who took care of me during the time I was sick.

“Breathe,” she said, patting my head.

“We don’t want the two of you in the hospital right now.”

We both laughed nervously, slightly breaking the tense energy in the room. But, it came back full force.

I decided to say a short prayer, knowing it couldn’t hurt. Shortly after, a soft light

beamed from the window, cascading down as if an angel received my message and sent it to God. If the stroke damaged her mind or her body, she might never walk or talk again. I need my mom. We all need her.

I no longer felt powerless. I felt warmth surrounding me, as if the angel embraced me before she left. I may not be able to save my mother the way she did through my illness, but maybe the prayer of a child might save her. I’d thrown my religion out the door because I felt it didn’t accept me for me. But this light I felt, and my niece made me realize for the first time in a long time that maybe a higher power wasn’t dead. There was still hope.

A few hours later, my dad came out, but this time he had a half-smile on his face.

The doctor followed him closely.

“She suffered a mild stroke, but there appears to be no damage,” she said, not bothering to hide her white smile as all of us sighed in relief. “She’s allowed to have more than one visitor now.

But, don’t overwhelm her. She’s clearly tired and didn’t get much sleep last night.”

A few days later, my sister’s kids came to my parent’s house to check up on my mom, who now was moving around as her go-getter self. She thinks watching a halfhour sitcom is a waste of precious time.

Bailey hugged her. “You’re the same.

Thank heaven. I like you the way you are.”

A lightbulb inside my body lit for the first time in years. I felt like my niece’s words spilled over with innocent and purity that they had come straight from a higher power. The anger in my life, mostly directed inward and also to church members who had shunned me, released like black smoke, giving way for a higher truth.

“So do I,” Mom said. “I love you Bailey, just the way you are.”

“Me too,” I yelled.

“Honey, I love you too,” Bailey turned to me.

In that moment, I knew that even in my darkest days I was never alone. The higher powers never gave up on me because I love differently, and my family continues to reach out and care for me, even though I may be different from them. Most of all my family just wants me to be happy and I want the same for them. Q

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18 CHILD CUSTODY

Gay parents face uphill custody battles W

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vince court evaluators, psychiatrists and judges in Utah County that it’s OK that I’m gay and the best option for the children is difficult,” Adams said.

Unfortunately, he is not alone in fighting against preconceived notions about sexuality in Utah courts.

Oftentimes, the discrimination is not overt and someone’s sexuality alone is not enough to stop a custody hearing, said Lauren Barros, a family law attorney who deals with queer-related

However, finding the balance between standing up for her beliefs and seeking custody of her child was a tough battle for Heidi Shelton, an openly lesbian mother who tried to petition the court for primary custody of her child.

“My lawyers told me, when the judge’s name was given, that I would only stand a chance if I went back in the closet and told him I had repented my ways and had become straight again,” Shelton said. “I couldn’t do that. And I lost the case. I have visitation, but I am not the

sign everything away,” Visser said. “I think they come to regret that later and it becomes an even bigger battle.”

The Utah Gay Fathers Association was started

by Visser and Adams, and it offers support to all types of gay fathers and those that are expecting to become fathers.

“We see so many cases and each person’s story varies, but I can honestly say there are plenty of men out there who face a tougher court battle because they are gay,” Visser said.

Although his sexuality was brought up in a Utah County court during a custody hearing, David Salazar said it didn’t play a role and he didn’t face any discrimination.

“I didn’t face any problems because of my sexuality and I was treated very fairly,” Salazar said. “But everybody’s experience is going to be different. Mine just happened to be positive.”

For Adams the battle is an ongoing struggle, and the legal costs are becoming overwhelming.

family issues in Utah.

However, sometimes the discrimination is much more hidden and subtle, she said.

“Maybe if a man comes out after a divorce and the woman remarries a man, but the gay man can’t marry his partner, the court could somehow hold that against him and interpret that as somehow being morally wrong,” Barros said.

Coming from a religious or Mormon background can also often lead to the court interpreting the children as being better off with the mother, who oftentimes was the primary caregiver before the divorce, Barros said.

primary legal guardian.”

The custody system is dependent on the judge, which is a random selection, and some judges are more open-minded than others, said Laura Milliken Gray, a family law attorney.

“Things are getting better, especially in Salt Lake County,” Gray said. “But the farther out from the county you go the more of an issue you might have.”

Each case is different and unique to the court, family and individuals, Ben Visser, the director of the Utah Gay Fathers Association.

“I think one of the problems is that men often feel guilty after coming out and are willing to

“I can’t tell you how many different legal fees, lawyer fees and fees for court-appointed psychiatrists I’ve had to pay,” Adams said. “But I can’t stop now. I need to protect my children and that is my absolute priority.”

A fund has been set up for Adams and can be found at tinyurl.com/utahdads.

“My sexuality has been brought up every step of the way. I’ve worked with some really terrific people who are really helpful, but there’s no doubt that the bias is still present in the court system in Utah,” Adams said. “I just need my kids to be in a happy and healthy environment, my sexuality shouldn’t be a factor.” Q

By Seth Bracken

HEN DARIN ADAMS MET HIS wife at Brigham Young University, the recently return missionary was attracted to the cultured young Swedish girl who was in the country to get married, or get her education and go back to Europe.

The handsome young man took his young bride to the Salt Lake City Temple, had their first two children and lived in Orem. A more pictureperfect Mormon family could not be found in all of Utah.

Or so it appeared.

“I never hid the fact that I was gay from my Mormon leaders. Even before my mission they counseled me to go on a mission, get married and have sex with a woman. My bishop told me that being intimate with a woman would fix everything,” Adams said. “I never told my wife until after we moved to Connecticut.”

While attending BYU, Adams took part in some so-called reparative therapy, and after coming out to his wife, she encouraged him to pursue it again. For a year Adams received weekly counseling from his bishop, saw a therapist and tried to change his sexuality. He read more than a dozen books about changing his sexuality and he worked with online support groups.

It didn’t work.

Although the family had grown with another child, Adams was finally coming to the realization that he would not become straight. He told his wife he was developing feelings for another man and that the marriage wasn’t going to survive.

“My wife told me she was moving to Utah and she was taking the kids. She told me she wouldn’t get divorced in Connecticut. I didn’t try to stop her and for a while I just visited the kids every chance I got, but eventually I knew I had to be near them,” Adams said.

He moved back to Utah County to be near the kids where he began the divorce proceedings.

“Things got very ugly very quickly,” Adams said.

He endured false accusations of prostitution, child abuse and other sexually deviant behaviors, none of which were ever prosecuted.

His sexuality was routinely brought up in court evaluations, and his ex-wife tried to maintain full custody of the children.

“The kids started displaying disturbing behavior. It was obvious that their mother was sabotaging them and only God knows what she told them,” Adams said. “They vandalized my home repeatedly, and they just showed behavior that is not normal for kids that are only 12, 10 and 8 years old.”

When it became apparent that she was going to try and take the kids out of the country, Adams knew he had to seek full custody.

“The legal costs mounted, and trying to con-

ISSUE 186

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ISSUE 186

AUGUST 4, 2011

19

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Study: Gay parents raise well-adjusted kids Norma Steadman has two dads. And she couldn’t be happier about it.

“I love my dads and I love having them in my life,” Steadman said. “I wouldn’t trade them for the world.”

Steadman was raised for most of her life in a home with a mother and a father, but after her father came out and found a male partner, she now lives with them in their Sandy, Utah home.

“There is almost no difference in the way they interact and the way their relationship works than there was with my mom and dad,” Steadman said. “We’re all just family trying to get along, and love is love.”

Steadman’s assertions are exactly what a study released in the journal Pediatrics; children raised by lesbian and gay parents are no more likely to have self-esteem, gender-identity or emotional problems than their counterparts raised by straight parents. In fact, the study indicates that children raised by lesbian parents are more likely to be well adjusted, and scored higher on psychological and self-esteem evaluations. It also indicates they did better academically and were less likely to exhibit behavioral problems. The study was one of the first published that followed children raised by gay parents from birth through to adulthood.

Not surprisingly, 41 percent of teens and children growing up with gay parents reported experiencing teasing and bullying because of their parents’ sexual orientation. However, there was no evidence of any lasting psychological damage to the children due to the bullying.

It’s still unclear exactly why the lesbian mothers seemed to do better at raising their children than their straight counterparts. But Steadman has an idea.

“My dad was always very careful to raise us to be open-minded and mindful of other people’s feelings,” Steadman said. “I always had such a close relationship and I wonder if his sexuality helped him be more emotionally open and available to me.”

There’s no true statistical data as to how many children are being raised by gay parents, but a

CHILD CUSTODY

study released by the Tufts University Medical School of Boston indicated that there could be as many as six million children being raised in the country by gay parents. The number can be hidden because people do not report their sexuality out of fear of retaliation in different ways, said Ellen Perrin, a professor at Tufts University.

“The vast consensus of all the studies shows that children of same-sex parents do as well as children whose parents are heterosexual in every way,” Perrin told CBS News. “In some ways children of same-sex parents actually may have advantages over other family structures.”

Whatever the case, Steadman is sure that her gay dads and her younger sister, who is a lesbian, are just as fit to be parents as anyone else.

“If anyone has doubts about their ability to parent or just be good people, they just need to meet my family,” Steadman said. “That’ll change their mind before they know it.”

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20 CHILD CUSTODY

ISSUE 186

QSALTLAKE

Traitor Jane: A community divided

By Seth Bracken

T

ALKING TO HER CHILDREN THROUGH the chain-link fence at their day care, Vicki Lee tried to explain why she wasn’t able to hold them, hug them or take them back to her house to watch movies and eat popcorn, like they used to.“They’re just eight and five years old,” Lee said. “They don’t understand custody issues or why their two mommies aren’t together anymore.”

After more than 10 years of dating, Lee and her partner decided to have children. Through artificial insemination, her partner became pregnant and a young family was started.

“We found an African-American sperm donor for my ex, she’s Caucasian, so the kids would reflect our skin tones,” Lee, who is AfricanAmerican, said. “We did everything to protect ourselves. I spent thousands of dollars on get-

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ting all the right paperwork that I thought would protect me and my children. The state was happy taking my money.”

But, much like many relationships, Lee and her partner separated. Her ex was soon living with another woman.

“I didn’t want to fight for the house or any of the things. I didn’t want to push for anything that would make the children feel uncomfortable or nervous,” Lee said. “That is, and always will be, my first priority.”

Lee moved out and tried to keep contact with the kids. She even tried to pay child support.

But her ex was not interested. Instead, she got a restraining order against Lee, preventing her from having any interaction with the children.

Lee protested and took the case to court, only to be told that she was a legal stranger to the

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children, and because Utah doesn’t allow for unmarried couples to jointly adopt children, she had no leg to stand on. This came despite an assessment from a court evaluator that said it was in the best interest of the children to maintain contact with Lee, and that the kids saw her as a parent, Lee said.

“I am not allowed to talk to my kids on the phone. I can’t see them at Christmas, and it is slowly killing me. I couldn’t sleep for about two years. There’s no words to describe the pain of knowing where they are and not being able to see them,” Lee said. “Every time I drive past their day care my stomach falls. Just knowing they’re in there makes my heart hurt. It’s been three years now and not a day goes by that I don’t wish that I could have some sort of contact with my kids. Any contact at all.”

Lee knew visiting her kids through the chain-link fence at the day care could get her in trouble. But their birthdays were coming up, and she knew she had to get them something, even if she wouldn’t be able to deliver it personally. She would just have to leave the perfectly wrapped presents with the cards on their doorstep and leave.

“I don’t want them to think their mom has abandoned them,” Lee said. “I didn’t know what they wanted, so I broke the rules and went to their day care. I knelt down behind the fence and asked them what they wanted. They kept asking me to hold them, to take them back to my house so we could watch movies. It damn near broke my heart.”

Unfortunately, in Utah there’s not much that Lee can do to see her children, Lauren Barros, a family law attorney, said.

The Utah Supreme Court ruled on a case almost identical to Lee’s in the case Jones v.

Barlow, for which Barros was a representative.

In the case, Keri Jones was denied any visitation opportunities from her ex-partner, Cheryl Barlow, who was the biological mother of their daughter.

The court ruled that Jones had no legal right to see the child, despite all the family planning and legal documents that the couple had drafted prior to their separation.

The ruling was a large blow to same-sex fami-

lies in Utah, but it is frequently used to separate the families by a biological parent after a samesex couple separates, Barros said. The Jones v.

Barlow ruling was used against Lee. “In order to get around this ruling, couples would have to adopt out of the state or there would have to be a change in Utah law that would allow second-parent adoptions,” Barros said.

The Jones v. Barlow case pits the community against itself and engenders a divisive community, said Heidi Shelton, a member of a support group for women like Lee who lost visitation to their children called Traitor Jane. The group meets regularly and has about 30 regular attendees.

“These people are out there fighting for gay marriage, but when they would have to follow the same rules that straight married couples have to follow, they stop the train,” Shelton said.

“It’s sick how much these women are hurting their partners and then turn around and say they are advocating for equal rights.”

The Utah Legislature prohibits a second parent from adopting a child if the couple is not married, and because gays and lesbians cannot marry in Utah, this law effectively bars same-sex couples from adopting. Several attempts have been made to overturn the law and allow for second-parent adoptions, even as recently as in the 2011 session, but none have advanced.

If gay couples were allowed to adopt children jointly, they would be able to pursue the same legal outlets for visitation rights that straight couples have, Barros said.

“We have to fix that law. It is so important.

There’s a lot about gay rights going on, and it’s all great, but this law needs to be fixed right now,” Shelton said.

Some days Lee does OK and is able to function, but there are others when the pain of her loss renders her almost inert.

“Some days it’s all I can do to go to work and come home,” Lee said. “But I just want everyone to know the pain I am going through and I don’t want other young girls to go through the same pain. No one ever thinks it can happen to them.

But I’m here to tell you that it can.” Q

THE MUSIC OF QUEEN WITH THE UTAH SYMPHONY

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DEER VALLEY SNOW PARK OUTDOOR AMPHITHEATER - PARK CITY, UT Find something new in the music you love by experiencing The Music of Queen with the Utah Symphony.

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FOR TICKETS, CALL 801-355-ARTS (2787) OR VISIT WWW.USUO.ORG.

AUGUST 4, 2011

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fabulous group Join TRANStastic for friends and advice

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F

INDING RESOURCES FOR SOME OF the most basic questions from transgender and gender-queer people in Utah can be tough. Employers often don’t know how to treat people who are transgender, and doctors often have to guess, said Dallas Ian Carrizales, a member of the TRANStastic social group.

“I’ve been transitioning for about three years, and I couldn’t have done it without TRANStastic,” Carrizales said.

TRANStastic is a social group that meets every second and fourth Friday at Whisper’s Café, 1100 E. 1429 South, in Salt Lake City at 6:30 p.m. The group does not participate actively in political causes, advocacy or any other activities. It is a place to gather with other transgender and gender-queer people to discuss issues unique to them, Carrizales said.

“We like to pick a topic and discuss it each week,” he said. “The topics range from the everfamous bathroom situation, legal issues and passing.”

Because some of the topics discussed are

very specific to the transgender community, the group limits membership to those that identify as trans or gender-queer, and allies are not encouraged to attend, Carrizales said. The group has a regularly scheduled room that is separate to help attendees feel more comfortable and relaxed, he said.

“It’s an extremely valuable resource for me and others that identify as gender-queer,” Carrizales said. “We face difficult issues that others don’t have.”

When Carrizales went to the employment services division of his employer for guidance regarding his transition, there was confusion with how to handle his situation, he said.

“They weren’t offensive, but they didn’t know what to do,” he said. “They told me if I find out anything on my own to take it to them so they can learn from me.”

The group encourages transgender and gender-queer people age 18 and up to attend their meetings, and those that have more experience often share their knowledge with those that might be new to certain issues, he said.

The group is different from other groups for transgender people, such as TransAction, because it focuses solely on socializing and discussion, Carrizales said. There are no advocacy issues or planning events. It’s just a time and a place to mingle, he said.

“We’re all very welcoming and everyone can have a great time,” Carrizales said. “It’s a perfect place to really get to know other people and just relax.”

For more information about the meetings, go to UtahPrideCenter.org.

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JOSH GROBAN See August 13

gay agenda Q goes red, then pink

By Tony Hobday

I’m excited for Lagoon Day on the 7th, but I also hope my dear friends won’t bully me this year into riding the really scary rides like Wicked, Samurai, Tidal Wave, Rocket, Wild Mouse and Ladybug Bop ... that last one’s a doozie. I’m also excited for Gay Park Silly Day on the 14th — I have a gorgeous pink gown with rhinestones for the drag contest, but unfortunately Jake lost my Dolly Parton wig and boobs last week — he claims he gave Q The international street performers of Jordan Frogley will share the stage with them to a homeless man for warmth ... in August! PLAYING FOR CHANGE return to Park City for eight of Utah’s most accomplished dance

5

FRIDAY — I’ve kept it a secret for years but my photo above

was taken by Annie Leibovitz, the famous portrait photographer, She actually wanted me to be sitting in a wheelbarrow in a silk teddy, but I do have some dignity left. Anyhoo, nice segue to the PARK CITY KIMBALL ARTS FESTIVAL, right? This annual festival is sure to be hopping all weekend long with over 230 artists, great live music and plenty of tasty food and libations.

6–9pm today, 9am–6pm Saturday & Sunday, Historic Main Street, Park City. Donations suggest for Friday entrance, Saturday & Sunday $10 entrance fee, kimballartcenter.org.

Q There’s not really anything gay about the movie (500) DAYS OF SUMMER, I just think Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a real cutie ... and he’s a good actor. Plus, it’s being screened for free tonight. When his girlfriend, Summer, unceremoniously dumps him, greetingcard copywriter and hopeless romantic Tom begins sifting through the year-plus worth of days they spent together, looking for clues to what went awry. Tender, right?

8pm, Pioneer Park, at 400 South and 300 West. Free, slcfilmcenter.org.

UPCOMING EVENTS Aug. 21 Adele Gallivan Ctr

Aug. 21 Brandi Carlile Red Butte Garden

Sep. 28 Erasure Kingsbury Hall

Sep. 30 Kathy Griffin Abravanel Hall

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SATURDAY — Last week I was swimming at the Little America hotel — I just hopped the fence — and I was practicing back flips off the side of the pool when I realized I’m as graceful in the water as Michael Phelps is in a hookah shop. Nice segue to QUAC’s annual AQUA AID, a fund raising event that benefits the Utah AIDS Foundation. There will be some great aquatics, some great Speedos, some great swimmer bodies, plus food and cocktails will be available.

3–6pm, the home of Quinn Richins & Kerry Sanford, 3693 Oakview Dr. Tickets available at the event, 801-487-2323.

Q Four top-notch Broadway vocalists join the Utah Symphony for BROADWAY ROCKS II, performing selections of rock and pop songs from the Broadway stage. Favorite Broadway shows are in the spotlight, featuring songs from rock-inspired Broadway hit musicals such as The Wiz, Hairspray, Jesus Christ Superstar, Mamma Mia, Tommy and Phantom of the Opera. Fabulous!

7:30pm, Snow Park Lodge Amphitheater, 2250 Deer Valley Dr., Park City.

Tickets $60–85, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org.

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SUNDAY — It’s that time again to flood Lagoon with

red. QSaltLake’s gay LAGOON DAY returns with more and more homos screaming Bloody Mary on the Log Flume and screaming Hail Mary in the public bathroom. A group photo will be taken at 4pm at our pavilion, so be sure to be there ... in red.

11am–10pm, Lagoon Amusement Park, 375 Lagoon Dr., Farmington. Tickets $35 with discount coupon, call 801-649-6663 for coupons.

an encore performance, taking the audience on a journey of discovery, featuring street musicians from New Orleans to the Netherlands, capturing an array of musical styles and emotional human moments.

7pm, Snow Park Lodge Amphitheater, 2250 Deer Valley Dr., Park City. Tickets $40–65, 435-655-3114 or ecclescenter.org.

Q Returning to the Utah stage is 34-yearold AMOS LEE, an extremely talented singersongwriter. His music encompasses soul, folk and a litle rock. If you’ve never heard his music before, check out the song “Night Train” on YouTube, it’ll move you. This is a good way to finish off gay Lagoon Day. 7pm, Gallivan Center, 239 S. Main St. Tickets $26, 804-467-8499 or smithstix.com.

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MONDAY — In the 2011 Sundance

film THE TAQWACORES, a young Pakistani student moves in with a group of muslim punks in New York. His new “un-orthodox” and sexually-free roommates soon introduce him to Taqwacore — a hardcore, Muslim punk rock scene that only exists out west. The film deals with the complexities of being young and Muslim in modern-day America.

7pm, Tower Theatre, 876 E. 900 South. Free, 801359-5158 or slcfilmcenter.org.

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THURSDAY — He claims

he’s too sexy for his toga, and no it’s not Dan Akroyd ... scaaaary! It’s HUNK-CULES, Desert Star Playhouse’s comic incantation of Greek ero Hercules. Don’t miss out on a man with a hot bod in revealing leather attire, brandishing his swords.

Hours vary, through Sep. 24, Desert Star Playhouse, 4861 S. State St. Tickets $9.95–38.95, 801266-2600 or desertstar.biz.

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FRIDAY — The Center for Women and Children in Crisis presents BREAK THE SILENCE, an evening of music, song, dance and film. Jenny

companies as they support the survivors of domestic violence. Performances by Odyssey Dance Theatre, Kalamity Dance, inFluxdance, Easton and Haley Smith (courtesy of Ballet West).

7pm, Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $15, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org.

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SATURDAY — The Utah Symphony is really doing it gay this summer — just a few days ago, a whole concert dedicated to some of the best music ever heard on Broadway and around the globe, and now tonight, THE MUSIC OF QUEEN. I’m the happiest girl alive!

7:30pm, Snow Park Lodge Amphitheater, 2250 Deer Valley Dr., Park City. Tickets $60–85, 801-355ARTS or arttix.org.

Q This 30-year-old tenor, when he sings, makes you feel like you’re flying on the wings of a dove. I adore being schmaltzy.

Anyhoo, JOSH GROBAN returns to Salt Lake City with his Straight to You Tour. Straight to his bedroom, betches! Sorry, my libido just hit the ceiling.

8pm, Energy Solutions Arena, 301 W. South Temple.

Tickets $52–92, 801-467-8499 or smithstix.com.

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SUNDAY — One week

after gaying up Lagoon with a bunch of red-clad homos, QSaltLake invites you now to join them for their second year of GAY PARK SILLY DAY. Along with the weekly arts and crafts booths and locally grown produce and of course, beer gardens, this Sunday will include a cooking demonstration by Q’s own Drew Ellsworth and a Miss Park Silly Drag Contest. Remember to dress in pink!

11:30am–5pm, Historic Main Street, Park City. Free, parksillysundaymarket.com.

QSALTLAKE.COM

ISSUE 186

AUGUST 4, 2011

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RONT MAN FOR THE PUNK rock pioneers Bowling For Soup, Jaret Reddick, sat down with QSaltLake to talk about the band’s upcoming show in Salt Lake, why they’ll always make music about booze and women and their own ‘It Gets Better’ speech for queer kids in conservative Utah.

Bowling For Soup will be at In the Venue, Aug. 16, with Sunderland and the Dollyrots. Tickets are available through Smith Tix outlets.

We’re excited to have you back in Utah! What can you tell us about Salt Lake City crowds?

Are they any different? There’s definitely a cool energy when you come to Salt Lake. It’s an historic music town. You can just tell there’s always just such a cool vibe in the room. It’s never our biggest crowd. But as far as energy goes, it’s one of the best. We always look forward to playing in Salt Lake.

Do you use a set list, or do you just go with the flow and energy of the audience? We have never used a set list in the band’s history. It almost started out as a battle of the wills. We’d say, “Who’s going to make the set list.” And no one would want to do it, so it just wouldn’t get done. But having to go off-the-cuff, and we started 17 years ago, has always been a really cool element. You can see us six times in a row and you’ll never see the same show. What happens in between the songs is always different.

It’s always a different show.

Are you going to be playing mainly songs from your latest album, Fishing for Woos, or will you play some classics? I think when you go to see a band, you want to see a couple of new songs, but really, you’re there to sing along and have a good time. We play all of the hits. We play oldies that people don’t expect to hear. And we tend to side with the audience with the song selection.

Your music has some pretty powerful punk rock comedic styling, with the release of your single, “Turbulence,” do you see your musicianship changing? Or can we always hope to have music about beer and partying? I think there are some bands that evolve and that’s a great thing. But that depends on the band. We’re not the band you’re going to listen to when you’re making out with a girl in the car, and we won’t ever be. But we will be the band you go to when you’ve had a rough day or when you’re jumping around the furniture. We’ve consciously made that decision because that’s what makes us happy.

Congratulations on the 11th album and being on your own label! How has that change been? It’s been a good change at the right time.

There is a definite freedom that goes along with that. We have immediate access to fans on the Internet, so it’s possible. Being on our own even

25

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Punk rock comedians Bowling For Soup comes to Utah

By Seth Bracken

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

five years ago would have been almost scary.

But now we know who our fans are and how to get to them.

What’s the biggest difference being away from a big record label? You know there’s no difference that you can put your finger on. You don’t have someone else’s money to go around and spend on things. Instead it’s all up to us and if we chose to go about something and put a budget together, like making a video, hiring a publicist, that’s all on us. There’s a definite drive there. Musically and creatively, there’s no real difference.

Do you think bands can survive without the big record labels? I think it depends on the band itself. We were with Jive for 10 years, but all things come to an end. Our relationship was fine. It’s all business and I think labels still have a place. A problem with a lot of bands, bands I’ve even worked with in the past are helped by a label. There are certain things you have to have.

There are bands out there who write amazing songs, but have no idea how to promote themselves. Some bands are amazing at marketing but can’t even play their own instruments. A label can help whatever your shortcomings are and fill in the blanks sometimes.

You’re credited with most or all of the songs on your records, what is your inspiration for lyrics and music? I grew up listening to music in the car with my parents. They listened to it all, disco old country and Neil Diamond. Musically that’s where my interest started. I like to have a beginning and an end to my songs. And country as a genre tends to do that. As far as simplicity goes, I was a hair metal kid and once I heard punk rock and the simplicity there was so appealing. All those things combined to kind of make it what it is for me.

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Are you tired of the bar life?

Queer Spirit Presents

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Come and enjoy the companionship of other queer men in a rustic setting. Dialogue, explore, stretch, and play, while participating in bonfires, yoga, heart circles and a sweat lodge. Retreat cost includes lodging and meals.

For more information, visit ww www.queerspirit.org/retreats or email JERRYBUIE@MAC.COM or call 801-557-9203.

What can you tell us about the future for Bowling For Soup? For us it’s a matter of finishing touring. Our single, “Turbulence,” is doing fairly well on the radio, especially based on the fact that we’re doing it all on our own. In September we’ll be heading back to the studio and doing a second Christmas album. Then we’ll finish up the tour and wind down the rest of the year so we can kind of hit the ground running for next year and get some projects going?

What advice would you have for young queer fans in a conservative Utah? Your own little ‘It Gets Better’ for Utah? My advice is be yourself and be happy. Gay, straight, smart, dumb; no matter what it is or who you are, you’re a special individual, no matter what anyone else says.

We’re all here for a reason. Make yourself happy and don’t worry about what other people say.

It might be tough, but don’t let it get you down, you just got to love your life for who you are. Q

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QSALTLAKE.COM

ISSUE 186

AUGUST 4, 2011

restaurant review Spectacular Vuz won’t dissapoint

By Chef Drew Ellsworth

P

ERCHED ON A HILL IN Draper, with Cactus and Tropicals right next door, Vuz is a very impressive installation – similar, if not equal, in beauty to the glitzy bars and restaurants in the new hotels in Deer Valley and Park City. As you walk through this cavernous space it seems that no expense has be spared.

Everywhere you look the creators of Vuz have detailed and customized the decor including the walls, floors, ceilings and a beautiful, round, open kitchen that is seen from every angle as are the expansive vistas of the Salt Lake Valley to the west. When I was able to shut my jaw again, I started really noticing what was going on.

Vuz, from the outset, wanted to be a true wine bar (which I’ve yet to see in Salt Lake) and a lot has been done to create the feeling of being in a wine-producing area like Napa. There is a beautiful room, behind glass, where eventually wine will be made — all the equipment is there — and in one of the hallways, gorgeous, modern racks have been installed to display an already extensive wine collection. There is also a bar with tall, neon towers and mirrored shelves displaying hundreds of liquor items to be used in the making of every cocktail known to man. The problem is that so far Vuz doesn’t have the proper liquor license to make all these things possible. The bar which may be the most spectacular this side of Las Vegas is hidden behind one of those hideous “Zion Curtains” which has, at this point, made the bar scene impossible at Vuz. The manager and the chef both seemed more than just depressed about this problem.

I would like to say here to all of my readers, that since Governor Huntsman has left office, our legislature headed by Michael Waddoups has made every effort to go backward and return to old policies that control alcohol in Utah, Last year’s DABC debacle over the closing of several liquor stores has only heightened Waddoup’s intention to keep on this course. When he doesn’t get his way he sees that progressive commissioners and other officials of the DABC are eliminated so he can continue his quest.

The “Zion Curtain” at Vuz is the most forceful example yet of how silly and inept our legislators can be. I hate to go on a political tirade here but please, if you like to go out to eat, and if you want a cocktail once in a while or if you want to learn about and enjoy the wonders of the world of wine, please find out what your legislator’s stance is on the alcohol laws and let him or her know what your opinion is!

I sat down with Chef Kaharim Becerra who hails from Cuernavaca, Mexico. He is very animated and entertaining as a host and it was the first time the chef has stayed with me throughout my visit in a very long time. Kaharim worked for many years at the Grand America hotel then spent two years as an executive chef in a private and exclusive Montana resort. When

he returned to Salt Lake City he took up the task of starting up Frida Bistro. There, his knowledge of the many regional cuisines of Mexico came to the forefront. Frida Bistro is, and has been, a huge success and a true culinary delight. At Vuz, Kaharim has continued this trend of creativity and attention to detail, to superb ingredients and a command of excellence in his kitchen.

(He’s already fired two sous-chefs who couldn’t measure up!)

Here’s what I had to eat. First the chef brought me one of his signature small plates, not being fond of the word appetizer he explains. It was his PB&J Foie Gras open-faced sandwich. Normally I would have thought the idea a bit out there but I was pleasantly surprised. I love Foie Gras and was happy to give it a try. This treatment was like none other; homemade peanut butter, grapes simmered in sweetened red wine, and a slice of homemade brioche toasted with the pan-seared liver on top. Not exactly sweet, the look and the flavors were awesome. If I had just one small complaint it would be that some of the flavors were too strong for this very delicate meat but I nevertheless give it very high marks.

Next the staff brought me a another painted plate with a huge amount of crab meat atop a halved avocodo. The crab was lightly dressed and at the bottom of the plate, the chef had placed a pool of “Gazpacho-style” vinaigrette.

This dressing was so delicious I had to ask for more from the kitchen. I ate every bite!

Lamb may be my favorite meat and I love introducing beautiful lamb to people who say they hate it! Properly cooked, young lamb should be the juiciest and most flavorful of all meats, and it should be tender too. Lately, I’ve had great lamb at several places and been very impressed, but Kaharim’s lamb, to date, is maybe the best I’ve had in a restaurant. Kaharim gets his lamb from New Mexico which is organically grown and fed.

He plated it with the most delightful array of veggies and accompaniments, yet nothing seemed out of place or too much.

Three gorgeous chops held into place by two kinds of potato; garlic mash and French Galette a la Lyonnaise. The potato galette is like scalloped potatoes but without the cream. They’re cooked in butter and stock, and have a crispy crust. I could have made a meal of these! Then there was a tasty demi-glaze laced with large chunks of ground mustard. Plus, two delicious pools of chestnut cream blended with chive flanked by golden beets and baby broccoflower, all of them on my list of favorite things.

I also tried the chef’s idea of mac & cheese, tossed with succulent lobster and the cheese sauce served on the side in a sheared egg-shell.

The dessert sampler plate, too, was delicious and beautiful,all house-made items by their pastry chef.

It is with all the hope I can muster that Vuz can continue to bring its magic to Salt Lake City; hopefully the alcohol problem will soon be resolved and the bar and the wine-making can get going. My friend and educator colleague, Sheral Schowe of the Wasatch Academy of Wine is holding wine events at Vuz and has been very involved with the impressive wine list. Vuz is located at 12234 S. Draper Gate Dr. (1300 East).

Small plates are $12-$15 and grand plates are from $29 to $42 and well worth it. Please, please head to Vuz and check it out. I give it a rating of 94. Q

FOOD & DRINK

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Women musicians unite for the Women’s Redrock Music Festival In her inaugural appearance at the Women’s Redrock Music Festival, Talia Keys hopes to bring excitement and energy to the stage as she joins four other women from Utah-based bands to form a super group of musical women.

Keys will be joined by Mary Tebbs, Bronwen Beecher, Secily Saunders Chandra Whitaker (The Vision) to form the group Vinegar & Pearls.

“It’s going to be such a blast,” Keys said.

“We’ve got so much talent and we’re really putting aside all other projects and coming together. You can just feel the vibe with it.”

The Women’s Redrock Music Festival is in its fifth season and is held each summer in the small Southern Utah town of Torrey. This year’s festival will be Aug. 12-13 and will feature headlining-act Betty. Other local musicians will perform and there will be a strong influence from Utah’s queer community, both in performers and attendees.

Keys, a Utah native and an out lesbian, has been performing for about three years, mainly with her band, Marinade. She’s done shows around the region at bars, clubs and other

concert venues, but no matter where she is, her music incorporates an old soul with the energy of the Energizer bunny.

“No matter where I am I always put a lot of energy and personality into it,” Keys said. “I may not hit all the right notes, but I put my heart into it.”

Her music stylings are kind of like if Bob Marley and Elvis Presley had an illegitimate love child that was raised by Janis Joplin and Nina Simone.

“It’s got a little of that blues-y kind of sound, but with a whole new look,” Keys said.

Vinegar & Pearls will be performing selections from the individual bands’ repertoire and switching around on vocals. The idea was generated for the music festival and it’s slated to be a onetime performance.

“I don’t know if I’d call it a once in a lifetime kind of experience, but it’ll be different. It’s going to be special,” Keys said.

Forming a music festival revolving around women was right up Keys’ alley, who is an ardent supporter of her own image and bucking tradi-

BETTY talks inspiration and queer music

By Seth Bracken

S

I

N PREPARATION FOR THEIR DEBUT appearance at the Redrock Women’s Music Festival in Torrey, Utah on Aug. 12-13, the indie-folk band BETTY singer and guitarist Elizabeth Ziff told QSaltLake about her inspiration and what Utah fans can expect at their show. BETTY has been a regular on the indie circuit and featured on the Showtime original series, The L Word, for which they wrote and performed the theme. Three of the members of the band are openly lesbian.

Go to RedrockWomensFest.com.

I’d like to talk a little about your album, Bright and Dark. Obviously, the theme is up and down, black and white, what inspires those two polar opposites? For that album, I was doing chemo at the time because I had breast cancer. We made that record while I was doing chemo. I also think it reflects life in general. There’s good and bad, bright and dark. Out of everything there are exact opposites and I think it reflects well that in life.

I think one of the best examples of the polarizing music is, the song “A Fix of You.” What can you tell me about that song? I actually wrote that song. I think the end of the song, the line, “Everything is going to be alright,” has become an anthem for many who are struggling. Originally, the song was about a break-up. It wasn’t written about cancer, it was just one of those everyday break-up songs that became so much more.

F U s f w i C C f “ h

w a c a c F

tional trends in music.

“People tell me all the time I’d get more popular if I wore a skirt and a low-cut shirt. People ask me why I don’t dress like that all the time,” Keys said. “All I can say is fuck that, I’m going to dress

This album, and most of your music, I believe, is very empowering for women and people in general. Is that a conscious effort, or a reflection of your own personalities and lives? Nothing we do is conscious. it’s just a reflection of who we are.

Our stuff is raw. And it can be very vulnerable and it can be very strong. Hopefully it’s empowering for everyone. it’s just a reflection of our lives and we want it to reach everyone.

At the upcoming show in Utah will you be touring off of this album, or will you be playing all of your classics? We’ll be doing a mix because we like to do some a cappella. But we’ll also be playing a lot from this CD. Have you been to Utah before? We played in Salt Lake City for gay pride, a while ago. It was really fun. But I really didn’t understand the bars. You had to belong to the bar in order to drink. it was very bizarre to me.

But when you’re a freak in Utah, you’re really on the edge. All the disenfranchised, peripheral people come together. The old, the young, the black, the white, all the left-wing free-thinkers get along and fight for the same cause. It was beautiful.

People in Utah enjoy drinking, which isn’t that strange, I guess I’d need a drink if I lived in Utah too. There were a lot of blonds. And people are ready to have a good time. Ready to laugh at themselves. Utah is one of the most beautiful places we’ve ever toured. I am so excited to be back.

What can people expect at your concerts? They should expect people who can actually sing live and who have a good time. We try to involve the audience emotionally as much as possible. It’s more than a concert, it’s like an experience.

how I want and be who I want. I don’t need to

d a

sell my body. I want to sell my music.”

For more information about the music festival, go to RedRockWomensFest.com.

Do you think there’s a role for women’s music festivals? I have no idea. I don’t think I’m qualified to answer that. But I think everybody deserves to have a festival. I do think there’s a role for places where women can feel really free, and not under any constraints, especially from men.

How important do you think it is for queer women to have a role in the media and art? I think it’s important to have that presence, especially a feminist presence. We’ve always found it important to play for people and causes; pro-choice, gay rights, breast cancer, AIDS — we were playing for AIDS benefits before people would go into the hospital.

I think that the queer community remembers when you stand up and say something for us. Those are people that have put their foot forward and said something. I don’t think it’s because people want to have a longevity, but because they truly believe.

I don’t know if it’s been a hindrance or a help to be steadfast and true in our career. Even though musically we don’t always agree, we always agree politically. We were playing Seattle Pride when gay marriage was voted for in New York. We got some tweets saying thank you for being on the front line to make this possible. I am so grateful to have been a part of this movement.

Any last words for the QSaltLake readers? Tweet us @bettymusic, go to our Facebook, go to our website. We’ll be putting out more and more videos from the late ’80s. We’re the only ones that have the videos from Encyclepedia, and we’re going to start putting that up on our YouTube channel. if you write to us, we’re the one’s who you talk to, no one else runs our Facebook or Twitter pages. Q

QSALTLAKE.COM

ISSUE 186

AUGUST 4, 2011

Smash Bash focuses on all local lineup

From The Used to Neon Trees and Voice Mail, Utah has produced music of all genres and styles. But until recently, there wasn’t a music festival highlighting just Utah talent, which is where Ashley Francis-Evans comes in with the inaugural Smash Bash music festival in Salt Lake City on Aug. 28, 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., at the Gallivan Center.“We’re going to have 20 local bands performing throughout the day,” Francis-Evans said.

“We’re going to showcase the best of Utah and have at least two bands of every genre.”

The lineup is an impressive look at a who’swho of Salt Lake music and most of the bands are seen around the city in bars, clubs and concert halls. The festival is a not-for-profit venture and all the bands are donating their time to the cause of spreading good music in Salt Lake, Francis-Evans said.

The tickets are $5 in advance and $8 at the door. A portion of the proceeds goes to HopeKids, a foundation for families with children who have life-threatening diseases such as cancer.

“I like to go and see as many bands as I can, but I realized there wasn’t a place to go see all of them at the same time,” Francis-Evans said.

The day will kick off with some softer bands and as the day progresses, so will the music

Fox Van Cleef toward a harder, edgier and louder sound.

“It’s just going to be a huge blast,” FrancisEvans said. “There’s going to be so much great music and it’s a perfect time to be introduced to some local talent. We have so much talent here in Salt Lake.”

The lineup includes: King Niko, Ryan Darton, Nate Francis, The Swinging Lights, Fail to Follow, MC Pigpen & Amber Lees, Red Bennies, The Wayne Hoskins Band, Fox Van Cleef, Muscle Hawk, Scenic Byway, Dirty Blonde, Red Dog Revival, Dark Seas, I Capture Castle, DJ Robo Rob and Max Pain and the Groovies.

For more information and to buy tickets, go to smashbashmusicfestival.blogspot.com.

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QSALTLAKE

Q scene Club Try-Angles serves its community

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ISSUE 186

I

By Michael Westley

HAVE LEARNED OVER THE YEARS that if you want to know anything about a bar or someone in it, seek out the guy sitting in the corner. He’s usually got his back to the wall and is surrounded by a small, loyal band of trusted henchmen.

And such was the case earlier this month when I stopped by Club Try-Angles to dig up some information about the little neighborhood bar that sits on the corner 900 South and 250 West.

Gene Lambert sat in the corner table with a glass of beer in front of him and a kind smile casting out over the moderately sized crowd on the patio. The 47-year-old West Jordan man said he has been going to Try-Angles regularly for about six years now because it has a relaxed and safe feel. Come alone, he says, or with a group, and it’s all good.

“At the end of the day, you go where you feel the most comfortable,” Lambert said.

And it is true. Try-Angles gets high marks by most of its patrons and is known in the community as the little neighborhood bar with the affordable drinks and easy atmosphere.

And all those I spoke with agree that the culprit for this pleasantry is the owner, Gene Gieber.

“I remember one of the first times we came in,” Lambert said. “[Gene] went out of his way to make us feel welcome.”

Gieber opened the all-the-time gay establishment in 2002 after losing his job working with computers just before the Olympics came to Utah in February of 2002. Wanting to try something new, he took his severance pay and cashed in some 401k money and opened TryAngles. The first year was a challenge.

“It may have been a mistake to open a bar,” said Gieber, recalling that first year. “And people ask if I like what I’m doing and I say, ‘it doesn’t matter, because I’m going to do it till I die’.”

And those that know Gene might cringe a little bit at that last comment. The 55-year-old North Salt Lake man did, in fact, nearly die about a year ago from complications related to the AIDS virus. Gieber was hospitalized for the

illness and it took several months for him to get back on his feet.

“I was written off, too. I was sure I was going to die,” he said.

But Gieber, and the little neighborhood bar on the corner, were not yet meant to come to an end. So I asked him, how have you managed to stay open so long when so many other bars have come and gone in the last few years?

His answer was simple: keep the drink prices down, don’t allow the drug dealers in and make everyone feel comfortable. Save for the days when business is slow and when you have a little extra, give it back to the community. Gieber said the bar sponsors two softball teams, a football team, the ROTC, the Utah AIDS Foundation and others.

“Because it’s my philosophy that we serve the gay community and if we don’t’ take care of them they’re not going to be able to come in,” he said.

Try-Angles opens daily at 2 p.m., hosts karaoke two nights a week, and has a DJ on the busy Friday and Saturday nights. There are two pool tables and a walk-around bar that serves from all sides. The patio is one of its selling points and is often packed during the warmer months, especially during their Sunday barbeques.

Bartender David Willeitner said he has slung drinks for Gieber for almost eight years. He attributes his, and the bar’s success, to a family atmosphere. He said he knows just about everyone’s name, what they drink and what they do for a living. He’s also quite handsome — a very young-looking 29-year-old that moves behind the counter with ease. He graciously served three other customers while talking with me and it was easy to see how patrons feel comfortable while he’s behind the bar. He has a personal stake in the club’s success: every time the two-tone walls inside the bar have changed color, he has been the man with the brush. It is apparent that he likes his job. He says he likes the boss even more.

“I love Gene. I have seen him stand up for his employees and guests, and I have a lot of respect for him,” Willeitner said. Q

‘It’s my philosophy that we serve the gay community and if we don’t’ take care of them they’re not going to be able to come in’

QSALTLAKE.COM

ISSUE 186

AUGUST 4, 2011

cocktail cha er Repercussions: The Cosmopolitan

By Ed Sikov

B

EFORE LEAVING FOR THE JULY 4th weekend, I had to sit through an afternoon luncheon, during which a jackass honoree turned a simple thank you into an interminable Castro-like State of the Planet allocution out from which I finally sneaked. I had to race for the train to Sayville, but by the time the ferry docked at the Pines harbor, the tensions of the city had receded. By dusk, when I finished my weekly Killing Fields war against our rampant poison ivy, I was thoroughly relaxed.

(I patrol the place with Round-Up and spit “Die, mother****er, die!” with every satisfying spray).

The front gate opened and in strolled Jack Fogg and Sammy and Dan, who had left work early to surprise me. Surprise doesn’t describe the electric-chair jolt I felt. As you may recall — I sure did — I’d plowed Jack Fogg the last time he was out, and I hadn’t seen him since. Now I had a sudden bad-trip rush. So many questions!

Did Sammy know? Would Dan find out? Might it happen again? Could Jack Fogg and I talk our partners into a four-way? Did Jack Fogg remember how he moaned? I held the Round-Up in front of my jeans.

I hadn’t seen the point of telling Dan about my new familiarity with Jack’s ass. What good would it do? It would just make him sad. Moreover, it wouldn’t help me get any more of Jack’s ass.

And how was I supposed to phrase it? “Hey Dan? We’re out of mayo, your Amex bill came, and oh ... I forgot to tell you, I screwed Jack Fogg.”

Let promiscuous partners lie — that’s my motto. So lie I did. But it simply didn’t register with me that we’d all be spending a sweltering 4th of

July together. Dan and I would be shirtless in our shorts all day while Jack Fogg would be showing off his fine pecs in Madras trunks and Sammy would be displaying his prize-winning beefsteak in Speedos. The sweat! The testosterone!

While prepping dinner, I squeezed past Jack between the kitchen island and the sink as Jack was fixing his first Madras. My front met his backside and greeted it as an old friend.

“Did you tell him?” I asked in a low voice. “Of course!” he replied. “That was the whole point!”

I shrank. “You mean you were just getting back at Sammy for his Chicken Vindaloo?” (Jack had caught him in bed with a young Indian delivery boy.) Jack turned around and pressed me against the counter with his hairy stomach. “No, hot stuff,” he whispered. “But there’s nothing like a vengeance screw. I always tell Sammy and he always makes me pay for it. Everybody gets something, especially me.”

Yeah, everybody but Dan. What would I do about Dan? I spent the weekend worrying and ended up doing nothing but choosing as le cocktail du weekend a little joke only I understood.

Sammy with his Vindaloo, WASP-y Jack, and two New York Jews, one of whom had a big, hot secret. How terribly cosmopolitan.

The Cosmopolitan 2 parts Absolut Citron ½ part Triple Sec 1 part cranberry Juice Splash of lime juice Pour ingredients into an ice-filled shaker.

Shake and pour into a cocktail glass. Perch a thin orange slice on the edge of the glass. Q

NIGHTLIFE

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AUGUST 4, 2011

32 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

NY’s New Law

51 Prostitute, to Baudelaire?

53 Like hands with ACROSS roamin’ fingers?

1 Gossip from Ted 55 Celeb who sent the Casablanca, e.g. message 5 Radar images 10 Asks from one’s knees 59 Gumbo veggie 60 Gay parade center?

14 Word used in dating 61 Neeson of Kinsey 15 All fired up 16 Go on and on 63 Bone separator in the 17 Muse to John Boswell back 18 AZT, et al.

64 Digital dealings 19 Morales of Resurrection 65 Drops the curtain on Blvd.

66 Ready for service 20 Start of a message 67 Max and Albert, to about NY’s new law Nathan 22 Batman portrayer 68 “The multitudinous Kilmer ___ incarnadine” 23 More of the message (Shakespeare) 24 Leave open-mouthed DOWN 25 Rio beach of song 1 Country house, to 28 Oohs’ partners Nureyev 29 End of the message 2 Mother of the bride, to 31 Early release the other bride 34 Family of R.E.M.’s 3 Shoot off unseen Michael 4 Goal for Sheryl Swoopes 38 Humped antelope 5 ___ death (loss of inter39 Cruising area est) 42 Celebrity outing, per6 Future flies haps 7 Nocturnal reptile of 43 Jockey’s gear Tennessee 44 Shut out 8 It extends from a pirate’s 46 Suffix with differ crotch 47 Request to Sajak 9 AARP members 48 Venue of the message 10 La ___ Tar Pits 50 Bears’ home, briefly

11 2010 flick that references The Scarlet Letter 12 Grind one’s teeth 13 Follows a direction from The Naked Chef 21 Triangle sign 23 Walking styles 26 Start of mature ejaculation 27 Rainey and Kettle 29 Goose sound 30 Commercial time of day 31 Piece of a pansy 32 He played Grace’s dad 33 A real stud 35 Cho delivery 36 Where Christian Chavez rolls up his meat?

37 Writer Gertrude 39 Do the moguls 40 Had partners, with “out” 41 Tiny toiler 44 Janitor’s tool 45 Debris from cornholing?

48 Bi plus mono 49 Score for Glenn Burke 52 Honshu port 54 Palindromic tennis star 56 “Here ___ go?”

57 Prepare for phone sex 58 Comic strip dog 59 Auberjonois on Deep Space Nine 62 Workloads for eds.

PUZZLE SOLUTIONS ARE ON PAGE 34

anagram An anagram is a word or phrase that can be made using the letters from another word or phrase. Rearrange the letters below to answer:

NAME THE BAND PLAYING AT IN THE VENUE, AUG. 16

BOWL OF UP GROINS

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ISSUE 186

QSALTLAKE

QSALTLAKE.COM

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ISSUE 186

AUGUST 4, 2011

she culture The Garage is a great community watering hole

By Annalisa Millo

ESTLED BETWEEN AN OIL REFINERY and a junkyard on Beck Street is not the most likely setting to find a bar. The Garage, however, has done just that.

The Jimax Lounge, one of Salt Lake City’s landmark watering holes for roughly three decades, preceded the present bar, and was home to countless daily regulars.

Eventually The Jimax had run its course, and owner Robert McCarthy of Stoneground Pizza and Club JAM stepped in and has been slowly renovating the space over the past three years.

The iconic silhouettes of billiard players on the outer façade have long been replaced, and the new signage for The Garage was installed three months ago.

When approaching the bar from the street, some very noticeable cosmetic changes have been made. The exterior of the building is rustic corrugated metal accented with structural wood that looks like they were railroad ties from the refinery behind the property. It brought to mind the bar in the TV show, True Blood, or the bar settings in the Tarantino/Rodriguez Grindhouse films.

Inside is an approachable bar, with an entirely wooden bar top to sip whiskey and beer pleasantly, so long as one doesn’t make eye contact with the stuffed boar’s head on the wall (seriously, that thing scared the bejebus out of me). The drinks are as inexpensive as $2 shots of Canadian Host on certain days, and the friendly bartenders, always with a smile on their faces, make good company for the lone visitor.

It’s relatively close quarters indoors, particularly on a weekend night when a live band is playing — it’s virtually standing room only. But, to step outside onto the patio is really the best feature.

The attention to detail is distinctly remarkable. Spacious, to say the least, it consists of plentiful seating and tables, a fire pit, beautiful lighting — spot lighting and string lights, a designated area for corn hole (or bean bag toss) and a stream complete with tiny waterfall. The rear bar has been named the Jimax Lounge, as a tribute to the original bar. The chairs are an erratic assortment, some camping chairs, some patio chairs, and a few chairs that look like they hail from an antique consignment store. It all falls under the stunning, picturesque backdrop of the industrial structures of the refinery, lit bril-

liantly under the clear, summer night sky.

On a weekend night the bar and patio are packed, but the space outside is big enough that it is not uncomfortable. During the week the atmosphere is a bit more relaxed, but still plenty of patrons fill the chairs.

I had a lengthy but lovely conversation with one of the managers, Wendy Christensen, who was very accommodating and welcoming.

She provided some history of the bar, what goes on behind the scenes, and further described their business concept and plans for the future: “The owner felt like it was very important to maintain the clientele, the regulars who have been coming to this bar for the last 35 years, every day. They want to make it a gradual change so that they could accommodate that and not do it too drastically and lose those people, and also didn’t want to create a rift in the community.

“One of our most important objectives is to maintain a diverse clientele. We don’t want to become the new hipster bar, or a raging dance club. That isn’t the niche we’re looking for. We want to see a mix of everyone — from the older clientele, to the biking clubs, to the young kids, the hipsters and the business professionals. ... We want everyone to feel comfortable, taken care of, and like they can be here without being ‘on the out’ with the regulars, because we’re all regulars.

“Atmosphere is my number one favorite thing about this bar. I feel like this is a place where I can come and not only be comfortable, but feel a smile coming to my face from the landscaping and the lighting, and the levels of the music, and the realness of the staff.

“It’s not pretentious, it’s not weird, it’s not cliquey, and I’ve always felt comfortable and enjoyed myself because of the atmosphere here.

“We also want to create a real impression on this city and the locals to set a standard for the fact that there are always improvements to be made, and we want to be known as a business that sees that, recognizes it, and is always striving for the best that we could be.”

Two of their bartenders, Ben Gustafson and “Pidge” said they love their coworkers, the owners, watching live music and the patrons.

Wendy assured me that the bar has plans to slightly adapt the space to adjust to the colder months of the year. She raved about the Fried Mormon Funeral Potatoes, spicy little balls of

‘We want everyone to feel comfortable, taken care of, and like they can be here without being ‘on the out’ with the regulars, because we’re all regulars.’

NIGHTLIFE

the Utah favorite, rolled in corn flakes and flash fried, and claimed that the Philadelphia-native chefs make a Philly cheese steak that gives Moochie’s a run for their money.

Overall, The Garage is not the kind of place where people go to get blackout wasted drunk, but rather to enjoy each other’s company in a pleasant, amiable atmosphere. The music volume is conducive to good conversation, sans the need to yell. The southern-industrial style décor is immaculate and well executed. The

33

diversity and variety among the patrons provides for exceptional people-watching, and opportunities to learn about individuals from all walks of life. The entire staff does an excellent job at being inclusive, which has aided to the growing number of queer clientele.

The Garage hosts Industry Night on Mondays, Funk and Soul Night on Wednesdays, Punk Rock Vinyl DJs on Fridays, and live music on most Saturdays, in which case a $5 cover charge is required. Q

Salt Lake lesbians ‘attack’ Sometimes it seems that lesbian-themed nights at local bars change more often than a drag queen’s wig. But one Salt Lake City woman is trying to fix that, with an event she is calling Lesbian ATTACK! Melanie Bushnell said she got the idea from similar events in Los Angeles where lesbian and bisexual women would pick a typically straight bar, organize a Facebook event and attract hundreds of queer women into the bar.

The first Lesbian Attack! will be held Aug. 13, at 9 p.m. But people will be coming and going all night. The location of the bar will be announced on the Facebook event page a week before the attack.

“In no way is this to protest a bar or try to scare any straight people,” Bushnell said. “It’s just for fun and it is really a great alternative to the traditional lesbian scene in Salt Lake.”

The event is designed to function similarly

to a flash mob, and the bar will not be alerted beforehand about the gathering and all the organizing and announcements are made on the Lesbian Attack! Facebook page.

“The girls will just sort of show up and take over the bar,” Bushnell said.

There will be mixing, mingling, drinking and just having a gay ol’ time in a bar that is not traditionally lesbian-themed. However, the bar selected will be one that is friendly to queer causes.

“I think it’s really terrific that Salt Lake can support a full-time lesbian bar like the Paper Moon. But that’s just not my scene and it’s not the scene for a lot of girls I know. I thought it would be fun to do something a little different,” Bushnell said.

The attack will be held on a regular basis, depending on response from the community. To stay updated, go to tinyurl.com/lezattack.

AUGUST 4, 2011

34 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

español exprés Facebook etiquette: Avoid the common pitfalls

By Gus Hererro

I

F YOU ARE ONE OF those geeks who spends countless hours on Facebook, or just a not-so-addicted little fan of this friendship network, you probably know some individuals who seem to publish everything they do ... or in the gay case, whom they do.

So, what is right to publish on your wall and what isn’t? Who dictates the rules? Is there such thing as Facebook etiquette? Well I don’t know if there is or not; in fact I don’t even think I’m qualified to talk about this issue, but my mom spent countless hours teaching me the right etiquette and manners to present to the world.

I don’t want to sound like I’m bitching about some comments, but there are just a few things

I’ve seen on people’s walls that I didn’t want to know.

FOR STARTERS: Nobody wants to know how much food you ate for dinner and then a few minutes later read that you feel fat and miserable. We all want to look good and yes, none of us want to gain a few pounds, so please don’t post that you ate like a pig and then cry about it because everyone calls you fat.

SECOND: No, I don’t want to know how many guys you slept with last night. If there’s one thing that really irritates me, it is to wake up in the morning and find out that “Joe” hooked up with three dudes and woke up shirtless in some random guy’s bed. We are not all hookers. If you hook up, at least have the decency not to post it.

THIRD: No, the world doesn’t need to know if a fly got into your bathroom while you were doing your business. This is a real post from a friend, “in the bathroom, fly came in, I said hi.”

Kids, I know it’s very interesting to you, but I could have lived my life not knowing that.

FOURTH: Whether you are a highly public figure or not, please don’t post pictures of the after-party. Yes, I know you are a party animal and yes, I love hanging out with you and partying with you, but I don’t want to see pictures of you mooning people or throwing

cryptogram A cryptogram is a puzzle where one letter in the puzzle is substituted with another. For example: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! Has the solution: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! In the above example Es are all replaced by Cs. The puzzle is solved by recognizing letter patterns in words and successively substituting letters until the solution is reached.

This week’s hint: P = F, Theme: Quote by Ann Coulter while appearing on the Joy Behar show.

C SXYF ‘OQY’F XHE, OQY’F FWDD,’ PQG XDD QP HQMCWFZ. _

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_ _ _ ’_

_ _ _

_ _ _ ’_

_ _ _

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ISSUE 186

QSALTLAKE

up on “Joe’s” lap.

AND FINALLY, we all like to know that you go to the movies or the fact that you are at the park but please don’t “check in” every two minutes, we all know that you can’t drive or walk fast enough to check in at the Gateway and then two minutes later at the Coffee Garden.

No, you don’t have Speed Racer car and no, you are not that popular.

With all these things said, I don’t intend

to be a bitch. Hang on, I think I already am.

Anyway, the point of this is to let you know that there are certain things that we might want to keep to ourselves. I understand that Facebook is a website to share stuff with your friends, just be a bit more judicious with what you publish. And remember, I’ll be watching you ... right along with good friends or a horrible stalker. Q

Sobreviviendo en Facebook

SEGUNDO: No, no quiero saber con cuantos tipos te acostaste anoche. Si hay algo que realmente irrita a la mayoría es levantarse por la mañana y saber que “Joselito” se ligo a tres tipos y se despertó sin camisa en la cama de algún desconocido. Niños!, se que es muy interesante para ustedes, pero creo que nosotros podemos vivir nuestras vidas obviando ese pequeño detalle.

TERCERO: No el mundo no necesita saber si una mosca entro en el baño mientras atendías tus negocios ... Este es un comentario real de uno de mis “amigos” en Facebook : “en el baño, una mosca entro, yo le dije hola” ... bueno, sin comentarios. Chicos usemos sentido común, se que ustedes han sido bendecidos con mas que una neurona… al menos yo uso las dos que tengo. ...

CUARTO: No importa si eres una figura publica o no, no publiques foto del “after party.” Si, lo se , eres un fiestero, y me encanta pasarla contigo, pero en realidad no quiero ver fotos de ti vomitando sobre el regazo de “Pablito.”

Y FINALMENTE, a todos nos gusta el hecho de que vayas al cine, al teatro y demás, pero por favor no estés “check-in” cada dos minutos. Todos sabemos que no puede manejar o caminar tan rápido como para estar en el Gateway Mall y en el Coffee Garden en menos de 5 minutos. No, no eres “Meteoro” y todos sabemos que no eres tan popular.

Con todas estas cosas dichas, no he intentado ser la “bitch” de la película, esperen un momento, ya lo soy ... en fin ... el punto es que hay algunas cosas que debemos de conservar en privado. Entiendo completamente que Facebook es una pagina que sirve para gritar al mundo sobre como te sientes pero hay que ser juiciosos al publicar. Y recuerda, estaré atento a cualquier cosa ... junto con tus mejores amigos o tu horrible acosador. Q

By Gus Hererro

S

I TU ERES UNO DE esos “geeks” que pasa mil y una hora en Facebook, o simplemente un pequeño fan de este tipo de paginas de amigos, probablemente has notado que algunos individuos publican absolutamente todo lo que hacen en su “estado” ... o en el caso gay, cada una de sus conquistas. ¿La pregunta es, que se puede publicar en tu “wall” o que no? quien dicta las reglas? ¿Es que existe una etiqueta para usar el Facebook, bueno lo cierto es que yo no se si algo así existe, en realidad, no creo que ni yo estoy capacitado para escribir acerca de este tema a pesar de que mi madre paso incontables horas tratando de enseñarme la adecuada etiqueta para cada ocasión?

No quiero sonar como que me estoy quejando al comentar sobre algunos de los comentarios que he leído últimamente en Facebook.

Solo quiero mencionar que hay algunas cosas que las personas no deberían publicar. Nadie parece decir nada acerca de lo que pasa.

Bueno entonces seré yo quien lo diga.

PARA EMPEZAR, a nadie le importa cuanta comida engulliste en la cena de anoche, y luego unos cuantos minutos mas tarde, me entere que estas llorando sintiéndote gordo y miserable. Si, lo digo, a todos nos gusta vernos bien, quien no lo acepte es un terrible farsante.

A nadie le gusta ganar unos kilitos de mas, entonces por favor no publiques que comiste como un reverendo cerdo y luego lloraste por que todo mundo te llama gordo.

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AUGUST 4, 2011

36 NIGHTLIFE

Q scopes

ISSUE 186

QSALTLAKE

u

Do your best, Pisces

By Jack Fertig

e

ARIES (March 20–April 19) What you think is brilliant and clever is likely to be upsetting, perhaps even threatening to authorities. Think ahead What battles can you win? Who are your real friends? What do you need to learn to succeed?

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TAURUS (April 20–May 20) Fights at home are probably–to at least a small extent–displaced frustration.

Be careful not to say something you might regret later. Whether to head off the fight or to heal the wounds, open up with your partner about your anxieties.

LEO (July 23–August 22) A few well-chosen words can stimulate discussions you’ll learn a lot from if you can just keep your mouth under control and out of the way. Open up to challenging new ideas that can change dramatically the ways you work and play.

i

VIRGO (August 23–September 22) Creative angst can be a good thing, pushing you toward a breakthrough. You may be trying too hard for something entirely new and different. Go back to your roots and see what neglected treasures might inspire you to innovation.

o

LIBRA (September 23–October 22) “Friendly” advice about your home and relationship may be malicious japery, but is there anything in it? Whatever the source, dissect it for seeds of truth and opportunities for self-improvement.

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GEMINI (May 21- June 20) Dare to be shocking and bold if you like, but don’t be surprised if you offend and scare off some friends. Are you stronger with fewer friends who agree with you or more friends with more diverse thoughts? Consult with those on the fence.

CANCER (June 21- July 22) Feeling underappreciated may be more about you misunderstanding what your virtues really are. Job reviews and criticism from your partner may hurt, but take them as cues to clarify your strengths and to improve elsewhere.

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SCORPIO (October 23–November 21) Speaking out of turn at work is likely to ruffle some feathers. Still it may be worthwhile to open up new ideas. Irritating (or irritated) as your boss may be, keep calm, respectful and focused on your company’s success.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22–December 20) Your impulses for adventure can test your resources or your resourcefulness.

You’re clever enough to do what’s necessary a lot more economically than it first appears.

Trust your own instincts and go it alone if you have to.

]

CAPRICORN (December 21–January 19) If old tapes are interfering with your sex life, and parental voices chime in at the worst times, relax. Take time to meditate and listen to those voices, if only to get where they’re coming from, to talk back and dismiss them.

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AQUARIUS (January 20–February 18) It’s no news that your mouth can make a lot of trouble. Just try to keep your brain ahead of it, and do not reveal your partners’ secrets! Thinking ahead is what you do best.

Apply that foresight in the present.

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PISCES (February 19–March 19) Worries about health and money are probably exaggerated. The future looks tough for everyone, but don’t let your imagination make it worse. You can still thrive. Hard work is the answer, but don’t burn out. Set a goal and do your best.

Cryptogram: I want ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,’ for all of society.

6 2 1 7 8 3 4 5 9

3 5 4 2 1 9 7 6 8

9 8 7 6 3 4 5 1 2

4 1 2 8 9 5 6 3 7

5 6 3 1 2 7 8 9 4

1 5 8 4 6 3 9 2 7

7 9 6 5 8 2 4 1 3

9 6 5 8 1 7 2 3 4

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4 2 7 3 5 6 1 9 8

7 9 8 5 4 6 3 2 1 2 4 3 7 9 1 6 8 5

3 7 4 9 2 5 8 6 1 9 3 7 2 4 5 3 7 1 9 8 6

5 1 2 6 7 8 3 4 9 5 2 8 1 7 6 9 5 8 2 4 3

6 8 9 1 3 4 5 7 2 6 1 4 8 3 9 4 6 2 1 7 5

1 3 6 8 5 9 4 2 7

9 2 7 4 6 1 5 8 3

4 8 5 2 7 3 9 6 1

6 5 4 2 1 8 7 9 3 1 8 2 6 5 4 1 7 8 3 2 9

9 2 3 4 7 5 6 1 8 7 4 5 3 9 2 6 5 4 7 8 1

7 1 8 9 3 6 2 5 4 3 9 6 7 1 8 3 2 9 6 4 5

5 2 9 8 6 1 4 7 3 1 3 7 8 4 2 9 6 5

4 8 3 5 9 7 1 6 2 5 8 6 7 9 1 3 4 2

1 6 7 2 4 3 9 5 8 2 4 9 6 5 3 8 7 1

9 3 5 7 8 6 2 1 4 8 9 5 1 2 7 4 3 6

2 4 6 9 1 5 8 3 7 3 7 2 5 6 4 1 8 9

8 7 1 4 3 2 5 9 6 4 6 1 3 8 9 5 2 7

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AUGUST 4, 2011

38 NIGHTLIFE

ISSUE 186

QSALTLAKE

the climacteric S-L-U-T-T-Y

By A.E. Storm

B

Y 4 P.M. I WAS FEELING as frazzled as Jasmine, Charlie’s seven-year-old niece.

We were at her birthday party. Even before they cut the cake, Jasmine’s mother, Charlie’s sister, chastised her for dirtying her green princess dress, made her apologize to one girl for pushing her down (what she didn’t see was the girl had first pulled Jasmine’s hair), didn’t believe her when she said the other girl had pulled her hair, then made her walk the girl home.

During all that I was being bullied by Charlie’s mother, Lovey, who ironically is anything but that. Lovey (her father’s pet name for her and of which she made her legal first name after he had died several years ago) and her husband had adopted Charlie and his sister Megan when they found out Mr. Lovey’s fish were lazy swimmers.

Then after five years of marriage, Lovey divorced Mr. Lovey when she finally realized his whole being was just lazy.

“Men shouldn’t be lazy,” she said to me, hopefully ending her tirade about her ex.

“Sure. I agree.” I finished off a beer and went to pull another from the cooler.

“Charlie tells me you’re not working.” Her voice accusatory.

“Temporarily,” I answered.

“Ah.” Lovey sat back down across from me with yet another Mojito in hand, and where a serious game of Scrabble was being played on a rectangular, glass-top patio table. She was winning, of course, Charlie warned me of her competitive side. Not that she need worry, my expansive vocabulary reaches my teeth. H-U-S-S-Y, Lovey spelled on her turn — triple-word score. My turn: T-A-R, three lousy points. I glance at the girls who are combing their dolls’ hair under a shady oak tree — I want to go plays with the dolls.

“So Charlie tells me you’re forty-two years old,” Lovey said, driving a nail in my coffin.

“Umm, actually forty-one,” I corrected.

Charlie placed five tiles on the board. S-O-RR-Y. “Ah.” She said it as if the difference didn’t matter. It matters to gay men.

“Don’t you think he’s too young for you,” she asked rhetorically and snippy.

“I don’t think so, and that’s what really matters,” Charlie jumped in. What a stud.

Charlie’s paternal grandmother, a seventyfive year-old retired florist, played S-N-O-T. She covertly winked at me.

“And you’re renting an apartment,” Lovey continued to belittle me. She spelled out on her turn. D-E-P-R-A-V-E. “I’m leasing a loft with the option to buy in three years.” I said.

“Ah.” For a word-junkie, she’s not very wellspoken.

On my last turn I spelled N-O-O-S-E. Fitting.

However, Lovey, the lovely lady, out-Scrabbled us. “Another game,” she said, patronizing me, I could tell behind her fake smile.

Charlie, sensing my growing unease, politely declined. Phew!

“Oh, fine,” Lovey said, hurriedly boxing the game. “So, Tommy, how many boyfriends have you had?” Shit!

“Mom, please!” Charlie protected me by putting his arm around me. “She’s just messing with you,” he directed to me.

“Actually, honey, I am veridically interested.”

She smiles at me. Ah! There’s the word-junkie.

“Maybe you should cut back on the Mojitos,” Charlie said with a hint of anger. My knight in shining armor!

“It’s okay Charlie, really.” I said. I may not know a lot of fandansical words, but I can hold my own.

“Well, Lovey!” The gates banged open. “There was Geoff, not my first, but the one I believed I was going to marry. It didn’t work out, though.

But, we’re still very good friends. Now, my first, the one who popped my gay-cherry ... see, I lost my actual virginity to a girl, who I think is raising our bastard child ... anyway, my first was Daniel, but that only lasted a couple of months ... freshly out-of-the-closet homos are kind of slutty.” I paused to finish my fourth, or fifth, beer, noticing Charlie’s grandmother smirking.

“Let’s see, the most recent was Billy, he slept with another friend of mine, Jesse, while I was out of town ... I found them in my bed. Before Billy it was Montgomery, a proclaimed bisexual ... I called him Mr. Fag Stag, Montgomery is just too gay of a name. And, oh yeah, there was Vance who has an unusual obsession with his cock ...”

“I’ve heard enough!” Lovey cut me off. How rude.

“Charlie, may I have a word with you in the house.”

“Sure.” He looked at me as he stood from the table. It was piercingly apparent he was not amused.

When Charlie slid closed the patio door to the kitchen, his grandmother, who was smirking a few seconds before, burst into laughter so hard that I could have sworn her teeth shifted position.

Nearly ten minutes later, Charlie and I were back in his Acura; he was speeding and obviously furious, which became more obvious when he said, “You know Tommy for someone your age that was pretty immature with my mother.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I could have handled it better.”

“Yeah, well, I think it’ll be quite a while before we go visit her again,” he stated. Bummer!

A few silent minutes passed before he spoke again, “By the way, that Vance guy you were talking about with the penis obsession ...” He looked over at me.

“Umm, yeah.”

“I dated him too, about a year ago.”

Great! Even decades-long out-of-the-closet homos are kind of slutty. Q

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ISSUE 186

AUGUST 4, 2011

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