QSaltLake Special Edition Jan 2014

salt lake magazine

UTAH’S GAY, LESBIAN, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER AND ALLY

GaySaltLake.com

SPECIAL EDITION January 2014 Issue 227 $5

Christmas Bells to Wedding Bells for two weeks in Utah HOW IT HAPPENED | WHO MADE IT HAPPEN | PHOTOS & STORIES

LOVE

WILL WIN equalityutah.org

4 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | STAFF

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CONGRATULATIONS TO THE HUNDREDS OF COUPLES NOW

LEGALLY MARRIED. None of this would have been possible without the courage of Derek, Moudi, Karen, Kate, Laurie, Kody, Magleby & Greenwood, Restore Our Humanity and so many others who have been fighting for full equality in Utah.

Thank you all for helping to change the course of history.

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6 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FIRST PERSON

gaysaltlake.com | issue 227 | special edition, jan. 2014

Not in my lifetime

BY MICHAEL AARON, PUBLISHER

As I walked

into the Salt Lake County Complex building, I heard whoops coming from a crowd of dozens surrounded by news cameras and cell phones snapping photos. I immediately recognized First Baptist Church pastor Curtis Price, dressed in his black vestments and rainbow-colored stole. The mood was jubilant as couple after couple paraded before several wedding officiants available to marry same-sex couples after the ruling by District Court Judge Robert Shelby that Utah’s Amendment 3 is unconstitutional.

In the first same-sex marriage case to have a decision since the U.S. Supreme Court ruled California’s Proposition 8 and parts of the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional, Shelby ruled, “Applying the law as it is required to do, the court holds that Utah’s prohibition on samesex marriage conflicts with the United States Constitution’s guarantees of equal protection and due process under the law.

The State’s current laws deny its gay and lesbian citizens their fundamental right to marry and, in so doing, demean the dignity of these same-sex couples for no rational reason. Accordingly, the court finds that these laws are unconstitutional.”

“Are you paying attention?” QSaltLake salesperson and writer Bob Henline texted me. Indeed, I was heads-down doing subscriptions and billing for our issue that hit the streets today. I pulled open my email and the first subject I saw made me say something I’d never say in front of my mother.

Utah’s Amendment 3 and other marriage laws unconstitutional. I clamored for the official text and read the 53-page document front to back, seemingly not taking a breath the entire read. I hurriedly put up a “Breaking News” story, “Breaking: Utah’s Amendment 3 unconstitutional” and continued to flesh it out after tweeting and Facebooking it.

“I’m on my way to the [Salt Lake] County Clerk’s office,” Henline said in a

call that broke through my thoughts. “Two people are down there getting married right now.”

No way, I thought. They won’t give them a license yet.

“Text me a photo of the license when they get it.”

Minutes later I get a photo text. It’s the license. I think I fainted.

In the 80s when I started working in the gay rights movement, I was asked all the time by the press, “Do you think we’ll ever see gay marriage in Utah?” My pat response was always, “We will. It won’t be in my lifetime, but it will happen. But only if we start fighting today.”

My timeline was a bit off.

Queens’ Tea entrepreneurs Michael Ferguson and J. Seth Anderson had gotten a text of the news of Shelby’s ruling, looked at each other and said, “let’s get down there.” Probably the most romantic marriage proposal anyone’s ever heard.

Salt Lake County Clerk Sherrie Swensen is out of town to attend the birthday party of a friend, so Deputy Clerk Dahnelle Burton-Lee called Swensen, who was named in the case on which Shelby ruled, to see what she wanted to do.

“Give them a license,” Swensen told Burton-Lee. And she did. With tears of joy in her eyes.

The couple was waiting on a wedding officiant to make it legal, when Burton-Lee offered to perform the ceremony. As they were preparing, Salt Lake County District Attorney Sim Gill rushed in and pulled Burton-Lee from the room to discuss the ruling. Burton-Lee turned to the couple and said, “You have a legal, official document in your hands. If you find someone to marry you, do it.”

Henline, who was watching and recording all of this, said, “I can marry you. I’m a wedding officiant.” And he did. Henline now has a place in Utah history, alongside Ferguson and Anderson, as participating in the first same-sex marriage in the state.

My phone rang again, and my friend Marty Pendry in St. George said he called the County Clerk about a marriage license and was told to call the Attorney General’s office. The person who answered said they weren’t comfortable answering his question and said to call the county clerk back.

County Clerk Kim M. Hafen said she’d be thrilled to give them a license, but hadn’t had anyone tell her she could. She said to call County Attorney Brock Belnap, who had just received the ruling. It was 3 p.m. and Hafen said that they close marriage certificates at 4:30. Belnap said he would read through the ruling and contact the county clerk’s office.

At 4:20 p.m., I got a call from Pendry.

“They said yes! We are on our way to the county clerk right now. They said yes!”

I was already at the Salt Lake County Building by then and made several news people aware that Pendry and his partner Brian Struthers were on their way to the St. George offices to pick up a marriage license. When the couple got there, news people were arriving with cameras.

I grabbed Restore Our Humanity’s Mark Lawrence, who filed the case that Shelby ruled on with three Utah couples, and gave him the biggest hug I’ve given in a long time, whispering in his ear, “Thank you for doing this. You did this. This is your day.

Congratulations.”

When I pulled back he had tears in his eyes and he said, “It’s a good day, huh?”

I finally made it upstairs to the actual Clerk’s office. There was a line down the hall. All the way down the hall. Volunteers with clipboards, including many from the Utah Pride Center, were helping people complete their applications. Four clerks were behind the counter processing them and Utah Pride’s Megan Risbon was outside the doors directing them to a half dozen or so officiants, ready to marry them.

Suddenly, people called for quiet as reporters rushed around Utah State Sen. Jim Dabakis and his partner Stephen Justesen. By god, if Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker wasn’t there marrying them.

Another whoop of cheers.

GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 7

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Around 5 p.m. I asked what the plan was for the Clerk’s office, since it was nearing closing time. The supervisor of the office said they were playing it by ear as she was awaiting a decision by Hafen. I ran out and counted 150 people in line at that point. But they kept bringing them in.

Radio news stations were saying that the Clerk’s office said that anyone in line at 5 p.m. was going to be processed, but none after that. But people kept coming.

Sim Gill told everyone to stay put as people started being denied. Twenty minutes later, however, they were unable to reach the vacationing Swensen, so they shut the licensing down. They promised to keep trying to reach her and, if they do and if she agrees, they will start up again at 11 a.m.

I’ve heard no numbers yet as to how many people were mar-

ried today, other than Becker married 34 couples. One clerk estimated the number at 115 to 120 couples.

Of course, the acting Utah Attorney General is saying the state will go to an appeals court for an injunction to stop the weddings. But that can’t happen until Monday at the earliest. In the meantime, hundreds of newlyweds are making history in the state.

Fergusen called them pioneers. And for good cause.

“The issuance of these licensed can only strengthen the case of marriage equality in Utah if the state decides to appeal and waste Utah taxpayer’s money to further alienate and discriminate against LGBT Americans,” said attorney Paul C. Burke, who helped draft Utah Pride’s amicus brief to the Supreme Court on the Prop 8 case.

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8 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH

gaysaltlake.com | issue 227 | special edition, jan. 2014

Christmas bells turn to wedding bells for Utah same-sex couples How this happened NOVEMBER, 2004 Utah voters approve Amendment 3 with 66 percent of the vote. The amendment read, “1. Marriage consists only of the legal union between a man and a woman. 2. No other domestic union, however denominated, may be recognized as a marriage or given the same or substantially equivalent legal effect.”

JULY, 2011 Mark Lawrence, who was running the dating site Alphey.com, is fed up with Utah’s anti-gay marriage laws and decides it’s time to take the state to court.

DECEMBER, 2012 Lawrence begins talking around his idea in earnest, gathering a board and working to get plaintiffs for the case.

FEBRUARY 27, 2013 Restore Our Humanity is registered with the state of Utah.

MARCH 18, 2013 Restore Our Humanity sends out a press release, announcing the organization PHOTOS: DAV.D PHOTOGRAPHY DAVIDDANIELSPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

“This is really exciting. It’s about more than just LGBT rights. It’s about human rights in general and speaking out anytime anyone is treated as a second-class citizen,” spokesperson Matt Spencer tells QSaltLake at the time.

MARCH 25, 2013 Three couples — Derek Kitchen and Moudi Sbeity, Laurie Wood and Kody Partridge, and Karen Archer and Kate Call file the complaint in U.S. District Court for Utah, arguing that Amendment 3, passed in 2004, and other Utah laws limiting marriage to a man and woman deny gay and lesbian citizens the basic right to marriage as affirmed in the interracial marriage case Loving vs. Virginia.

The plaintiffs are represented by James E. Magleby, Jennifer Fraser Parrish and Peggy A. Tomsic of Magleby & Greenwood, a boutique litigation firm focused on business and civil disputes.

The lawsuit named Utah Gov. Gary Herbert, then-Attorney General John Swal-

low and Salt Lake County Clerk Sherrie Swensen as defendants. The complaint said Kitchen and Sbeity applied for a marriage licence from Salt Lake County on March 22 but Swensen refused to give them one; Wood and Partridge also applied for a license and were turned down as well.

Karen Archer and Kate Call sued for the recognition of their marriage in Iowa.

“More than 40 years ago, the Supreme Court of the United States recognized that “[m]arriage is one of the ‘basic rights of man,’ fundamental to our very existence and survival,” the complaint reads, citing Loving v. Virginia, the 1967 Court decision that struck laws against interracial marriage. But because of Amendment 3, “the State of Utah discriminates against and denies its gay and lesbian citizens access to marriage by providing in its constitution that ‘[m]arriage consists only of the legal union between a man and a woman.”

“The unequal treatment of gay men and lesbians by the State of Utah denies them the basic liberties and equal protections

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under the law that are guaranteed by the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution,” the complaint continued.

Then-Utah Attorney General John Swallow said his office would defend Amendment 3 and that marriage is for states to define.

“I believe that under our federal constitution the individual states retained the sole right to define the marriage relationship,” Swallow said in a statement. “As Attorney General, I swore an oath to defend the Utah Constitution and will do so by defending against this lawsuit with every resource at my disposal.”

JUNE 26, 2013 The United States Supreme Court rules that plaintiffs in the suit challenging U.S. District Judge Walker’s ruling against Proposition 8 had no standing, thereby reallowing same-sex marriages in California.

The court also strikes down portions of the Defense of Marriage Act, requiring federal recognition of legal same-sex marriages.

GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 9

between a man and a woman, is rationally related to a legitimate government interest.”

Salt Lake County Clerk Sherrie Swensen files only that, “The County Clerk has a ministerial duty to abide by the laws of the State of Utah, and is required by statute to issue marriage licenses in accordance with existing Utah state law. The County Clerk thus has no discretion regarding the issuance of marriage licenses.”

OCTOBER 10, 2013 The Utah State Tax Commission announced that, though the Internal Revenue Service ruled same-sex couples may file a joint federal income tax return, Utah same-sex couples must file a Utah income tax return with a filing status of single or head of household.

“A taxpayer impacted by this IRS ruling must provide the same federal income tax information on the Utah return that the taxpayer would have provided prior to the IRS ruling,” said Charlie Roberts, Tax Commission spokesperson. “For the purposes of calculating their Utah income tax liability, these individuals must re-compute their federal income tax liability as single or head of household. The information on this re-computed federal income tax return will be used only to prepare the Utah income tax return.”

A Salt Lake Tribune editorial suggests that same-sex couples ignore the ruling.

the institution now affords to opposite-sex couples.”

Shelby asked if, supposing he ruled for the three couples, he would be the first judge since the U.S. Supreme Court’s Windsor ruling to rule that same-sex marriage is a fundamental right. Tomsic said that, yes, he would be.

“Congratulations,” she said.

Tomsic was witty, engaging, even tempered, and methodical in her testimony.

State attorney Phil Lott, on the other hand, on several occasions told the judge that many of his questions were irrelevant because the state did not need to prove certain points.

The state said it has an interest in promoting male-female relationships because they are more likely to produce offspring, and that children born in male-female marriages do better than those in single-parent households.

Shelby asked several pointed questions, including the constitutionality of restricting post-menopausal women from being able to marry.

Lott said that would not be constitutional, but that the state had an interest in promoting relationships more likely to produce children.

Lott, counter to Tomsic, was dull, almost inaudible and seemed to scramble for an argument in his presentation.

Shelby promised to rule with “deliberate speed,” and gave himself a Jan. 7 deadline.

DECEMBER 20, 2013

JUNE 27, 2013 Overstock.com company founder Patrick Byrne announces that he will donate $50,000 towards the legal fees of Restore Our Humanity to move the lawsuit against Utah’s Amendment 3 and other anti-gay marriage laws.

AUGUST 12, 2013

DECEMBER 4, 2013

The State of Utah filed a response to the lawsuit.

The state’s attorneys hinge their arguments upon the constitutional right of the states to regulate marriage. They argue that same-sex marriage has never been recognized in Utah and that Utah’s public policy precludes the recognition of such marriages, even if recognized by other jurisdictions.

They further claimed that “Utah’s recognition of marriage as only the legal union

Over four hours of oral arguments were presented by both the Restore plaintiffs and the state before U.S. District Judge Robert Shelby.

Peggy Tomsic, representing the three couples, testified for 90 minutes, saying, “This case embodies the civil rights movement of our time. This court is being called on to finally recognize and protect the rights of same-sex couples like the plaintiffs, who desire to marry and receive the state-sanctioned benefits and recognition

U.S. District Court Judge Robert J. Shelby struck down Utah’s ban on same-sex marriage, saying it violates the U.S. Constitution’s guarantees of equal protection and due process. Utah became the first case being ruled on since the U.S. Supreme Court struck California’s Proposition 8 and parts of the federal Defense of Marriage Act. “The court agrees with Utah that regulation of marriage has traditionally been the province of the states, and remains so today. But any regulation adopted by a state, whether related to marriage or any other interest, must comply with the Constitution of the United States,” Shelby wrote. “The issue the court must address in this case is therefore not who should define marriage, but the narrow question of whether Utah’s current definition of marriage is permissible under the Constitution.”

“Applying the law as it is required to do, the court holds that Utah’s prohibition on same-sex marriage conflicts with the United

10 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH

States Constitution’s guarantees of equal protection and due process under the law.

The State’s current laws deny its gay and lesbian citizens their fundamental right to marry and, in so doing, demean the dignity of these same-sex couples for no rational reason. Accordingly, the court finds that these laws are unconstitutional,” Shelby ruled.

State counsel had not filed a request for a stay, should the judge rule against them.

So, unlike Judge Walker when he ruled on California’s Proposition 8 and immediately put a stay on his ruling at the request of Prop 8 proponents, Shelby had no authority to issue such a stay.

And same-sex couples in Utah began requesting marriage licenses within 15 minutes of the ruling. And they got them.

The first married same-sex couple in the state was J. Seth Anderson and Michael Ferguson in Salt Lake County. Soon, other couples joined them. Then, a two samesex couples in Washington County were issued marriage licenses.

A line developed outside the Salt Lake County Clerk’s office, as the news spread that same-sex couples were marrying. Officiants, including Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker, showed up to marry people on the spot. In the few business hours after Shelby’s ruling, Salt Lake County issued 124 licenses on the first day, breaking the previous one-day record of 80.

DECEMBER 21, 2013 Confusion ensues as several county clerks’ offices are rumored to be opening on this Saturday to issue same-sex marriage licenses. Hundreds of couples travel from county to county in fear that Judge Shelby’s ruling would be stayed before Monday morning.

Weber County attempts to open, but the number of applicants overwhelmed the office and the county clerk is forced to apologize to the crowd before taking even the first application.

DECEMBER 23, 2013 Judge Shelby hears arguments on the state’s motion for a temporary stay of his ruling, pending an appeal to the U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals.

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Tomsic argues that the state brought no new arguments before the judge. Since the judge had already ruled against the state the previous Friday on those arguments, it would make no sense to stay the decision.

Shelby agrees and refuses to issue a stay.

Hundreds more same-sex couples in counties across the state apply for and receive marriage licenses.

Notably, however, some counties refuse to issue licenses. The Utah County Clerk was the most vocal in denying licenses.

Box Elder County stationed sheriff’s deputies at the door to bar same-sex couples from attempting to apply. Cache County and Sanpete County closed their doors to all marriage licenses. Critics liken these maneuvers to those of Southern states after a U.S. Supreme Court ruling in Dred Scott v. Sandford in the 1850s and forced integration in the 1950s and 1960s.

One couple threatened to sue the Utah County Clerk’s office for not issuing a license, but withdrew the threat when they were issued a license the day after Christmas.

DECEMBER 24, 2013 On Christmas Eve, the U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that the state of Utah had not sufficiently shown that they would be irreparably harmed if same-sex marriages continued, and that the state had not shown they were likely to win on appeal of Judge Shelby’s ruling. This was actually the third time the circuit court refused to stay the decision. The first two times, however, were considered on technicalities, rather than an actual review of the motions’ merits.

DECEMBER 26, 2013 The state announces that it will ask the U.S. Supreme Court for a stay of the ruling.

In the meantime, all counties but one are issuing licenses to same-sex couples. The Piute County Clerk’s office was closed, only because the clerk was out on vacation.

The county’s 1,154 residents would have to go to another county to request a license.

DECEMBER 30, 2013 The state had still not officially asked the U.S. Supreme Court for a stay on Shelby’s ruling, saying they were trying to find outside counsel to assist with the case.

The Attorney General’s office releases that the appeal would cost the State of Utah around $2 million. Republican leaders give the AG’s office a thumbs-up on the expenditure.

The U.S. Court of Appeals, Tenth Circuit, ordered an expedited briefing schedule for Utah’s appeal of Shelby’s ruling.

The order schedules the state’s opening brief and appendix to be filed on or before Jan. 27. Restore Our Humanity’s lawyers must then file a response on or before Feb. 18. Any reply brief shall be filed on or before Feb. 25.

“Requests for extension of time are very strongly discouraged, and will be considered only under extraordinary circumstances,” the justices wrote in the order.

The court will move to oral arguments after Feb. 25, but no schedule has been set.

DECEMBER 31, 2013 Attorneys for the State of Utah filed a motion with the U.S. Supreme Court requesting a stay of execution in the recent ruling of Judge Robert Shelby in the Kitchen v.

Herbert case.

The motion listed Monte Neil Stewart and Craig G. Taylor of the Boise firm of Stewart, Taylor & Morris as “counsel of record” and “Special Assistant Attorneys General” for the state.

Justice Sotomayor orders attorneys for the three couples to respond to the state’s motion by noon Jan. 3.

JANUARY 3, 2014 James Magleby and Peggy Tomsic reply to the state’s motion for a stay, saying that the state did not meet the heightened burden of a stay that reaches the Supreme Court and that issuing a stay would harm same-sex couples and their children who couldn’t marry.

JANUARY 6, 2014 In a very brief order, the U.S. Supreme Court issued a stay on District Court Judge Robert Shelby’s ruling. The order offers no reasoning behind the decision, but legal scholars say that if the court had not ordered the stay, it would have given the impression the court was “comfortable allowing same-sex marriages to go forward in the 33 states where they are still not permitted by state law.”

Magleby remains confident that the Circuit Court will uphold Shelby’s ruling.

Newly-sworn Utah Attorney General Sean Reyes said the legal status of the same-sex marriages performed in the state are currently in “legal limbo.” He said that his office is currently considering the legal implications of these marriages.

A study of all county clerks’ offices in the state, except Utah County, shows that 1,324 same-sex couples were issued marriage licenses. Utah County does not keep a tally of same-sex vs. opposite sex licenses. Q

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Marriage in Dixie

Two

same-sex couples in St. George, Utah, were issued marriage licenses by the Washington County Clerk following District Court Judge Robert Shelby’s ruling that Utah’s Amendment 3 is unconstitutional.

Marty Pendry learned about the ruling through QSaltLake and contacted Washington County Clerk Kim M. Hafen to find out if he and his partner, Brian Struthers, could get a license. The couple had a civil union in Pendry’s hometown of Wendover, Nev., last summer.

Pendry said the clerk hadn’t heard of the ruling and was told to call the Utah Attorney General’s office. A representative of the AG’s office said, “I don’t feel comfortable answering your question on this,” and referred them back to the county clerk.

Hafen then told Pendry to call Washington County Attorney Brock Belnap, who had

just received the 53-page ruling

by Shelby.

After deliberation, Belnap said, “There is no legal basis to treat qualifying same-sex couples any differently, presuming they are otherwise eligible,” according to the Southern Utah Independent.

At 4:20 p.m., Pendry was called by the clerk and told to come in for a license. The clerk’s office stayed open past normal closing time to grant the license.

Adrian Durrant and Lisa Hinkley had also called and were at the county clerk’s office at the same time and received a marriage license.

Pendry said he was touched that his relationship of 11 years with Struthers could finally be recognized by the state.

“I did this because what would happen if one of us were in an accident or hospitalized? I wanted to make sure we could be there for each other,” Pendry said.

Springdale councilman and Under the Eaves Bed & Breakfast owner Mark Chambers drove that night to St. George to marry Pendry and Struthers, in fear that a stay was imminent. St. George Independent publisher Josh Warburton also attended to report on the wedding, and played his guitar and sang “Times, They are a Changing.” Q

GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11

We Would Like to Congratulate All of the Newlyweds and Everyone Who Made Utah #18 in Marriage Equality!

YOUR COMMUNITY CENTER

UtahPrideCenter.org

Christopher Wharton Attorney at Law

Questions about the 1,000+ rights and benefits of your new marriage? Call me!

Call 801-649-3529 for a free consultation Chris Wharton Law, LLC 10 W Broadway, Ste 500 chriswhartonlaw.com

12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH

gaysaltlake.com | issue 227 | special edition, jan. 2014

Outlining the Shelby Ruling

BY SIM GILL, SALT LAKE COUNTY DISTRICT ATTORNEY

The federal Constitution is the Supreme Law of the land. Where there is a conflict between the US Constitution and a state constitution or state law, the Supremacy Clause trumps the state.

Conflicts between federal and state law are often resolved by the Fourteenth Amendment’s due process and equal protection rationalization. This is especially true when individual rights and liberty interests are implicated. This came into effect after African Americans were emancipated but the states tried to deny them their freedoms as a states’ rights argument by passing, democratically articulated, but Constitutionally violative, laws.

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What does it mean?

The Fifth Amendment due process clause has found individual liberty as a Constitutionally fundamental right.

Individual liberty is highly prized and a jealously guarded right.

The Tenth Amendment leaves for states all the rights not articulated nor found in the Constitution to articulate and assert. Note, they cannot be in conflict with, nor deny, those rights afforded in the United States Constitution, absent some extremely compelling reasons, strictly construed, to narrowly achieve that objective.

Arbitrariness loses.

The right to determine marriage laws is clearly in the province of states.

Nothing thus far has altered that or ever will. However, such rights are not exclusive, nor without oversight where they conflict with fundamental rights afforded and protected in the U.S. Constitution.

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For example, in Loving v. Virginia, it was against the law for interracial couples to marry. Although such laws were the result of participatory democracy, that fact alone was not sufficient enough for such laws to violate the individual rights of citizens under the Constitution. Such prohibitions on marriage were ruled unconstitutional as a matter of Federal constitutional protections.

It is generally recognized that where Fifth Amendment liberty interests collide with 10th Amendment states rights, chances are that the 10th Amendment will lose where the Fifth Amendment right has been clearly found to exist (See sub. 2 and 4 above).

The now famous United States v.

Windsor case, for the first time, took up the question the issue of same- sex couples rights, at the Federal level. It found as a matter of federal law, not state, that there was, in the Fifth Amendment’s Due Process clause, an individual liberty interest right in the federal Constitution. This, for the first time, found that such a right came out of the protections within the Constitution. Windsor recognized same-sex unions for the purposes of federal law in the U.S. Constitution.

The Windsor ruling opened the door for a future question about the potential clash between a federally recognized right and state action that might conflict with it. Justice Scalia saw the writing on the wall, noting and implying in not so many words that states would likely lose any such arguments in the future after the Windsor ruling where the 14th Amendment’s due process and equal protection clause would now extend that argument to the states (See paragraphs 2–6 above).

The Utah decision is important because it is the first decision AFTER Windsor, applying the federal recognition of a Fifth Amendment’s individual liberty interest right as in conflict with a state constitutional amendment getting

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its authority from the 10th Amendment rationalization.

The state is in a precarious position, because its Amendment 3 has been found to be in violation of a fundamental protected right and thus ruled unconstitutional, not in a vacuum, but in direct lineage from the same right being recognized as a matter of federal Constitutional protection in Windsor. This protection now is NOT speculative, but was identified, recognized and established by the U.S. Supreme Court in Windsor and is extended to the State of Utah through the equal protection and due process clause of the 14th Amendment. However, how far that right goes, as far as a state is concerned, will ultimately have to be answered by the U.S. Supreme Court.

A. U.S. Constitutionally protected rights cannot be legislated away by a majority of voters. It is not the democratic process that sanctifies it, by mere consensus, but by the supremacy of the constitutional protections, even if they only protect the minority of the population. The ability to vote cannot trump constitutional rights.

This is what is fundamentally unique about our government — that it protects us against the tyranny of the majority out of constitutional principle rather than sheer force of numbers and powers. The weakest person, alone, can withstand an entire nation of people if they are wrong in principle, but strong in numbers. Sort of like the lone worshiper who prays to God with an open heart, gaining direct access on religious principle and humility, rather than the qualified and demanded access by a throng of worshipers who believe in their ritual of presence every Sunday as a pathway to God’s Kingdom, and discriminate against those who don’t show up in all-too-human ways.

The law and God are the great equalizers; everyone in the middle are just weak substitutes where they would have their personal opinion dictate the rights of others. Just as we cannot condition civil rights, either we all have them or truly none of us really do. Our strength comes from our reason, both as a species if you are secular and from the gift of reasoned knowledge if you are religious. We are poor substitutes for law and God. Sorry, it’s that human fallibility thing.

B. As an article of faith, a doctrinal belief cannot be questioned. Kierkegaard asserted that the enemy of faith is reason not to diminish the power of faith but

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when the fallibility of human agency tries to reason the primacy of faith for others. Either you have it or you don’t.

Human society, by necessity, requires shared, lived space, and restrictions upon that reality of human interaction can either be dictatorial or be within the confines of civil society administered by rules (laws) of fairness and justice. To this extent, America has embraced a Constitutional framework to work out the interactions of shared space and reasoned justice. This is OUR social and judicial tradition. We either continue to struggle through this imperfect experiment or we reject it. So far this experiment in democracy has worked out well, but not without effort or sacrifice. It has corrected many of our historical errors. The question will be if we are still committed to it?

Civil rights are not defined merely by the comfort and protections they bring exclusively to me and when they agree with my needs. They are defined by when they protect, bring comfort and shelter those I do not agree with, consistent with the principles we all agreed to in its inception, or until we change them constitutionally at the national level. That is why the Constitution is the supreme law of the land (see sub. 1 above) and our private faith has nothing to do with it. That is between us and our private conversations of faith with God. No religious institution’s article of faith can be trumped by law just as the religious reasons (not faith) cannot trump constitutional rights. It’s that separation thing.

The privacy of worship, ritual and faith are not the province of any government or unbelieving citizen, nor will they ever be.

Similarly, the constitutional exercise of your rights is no business of mine if they do not violate the integrity of my rights and existence.

This is what is still great about our country. Q

GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 13

with liberTEA and justice for all queensleaf.com

Mayor Ralph Becker Celebrates Equal Rights for all Utahns Salt Lake City has long been the state’s leader in fostering a welcoming environment for all residents: • First to adopt an Employment and Housing Non-Discrimination Ordinance • First to launch a Mutual Commitment Registry • First in the state to host a Gay Pride Celebration • Longtime member of the Public Safety Pride Alliance With pleasure and pride, Salt Lake City extends a welcome and congratulations to couples in our community and throughout the state that have chosen, and will choose, to show their love with the commitment of marriage.

Mayor Ralph Becker officiating the marriage of Brandon Mark (left) and Weston Clark, who is holding their son, Xander

Mayor Becker officiating at the marriage of Colleen Sandor (left) and Candice Pritcher.

14 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH

gaysaltlake.com | issue 227 | special edition, jan. 2014

Restore Our Humanity founder Mark Lawrence

BY MICHAEL AARON

The story

Who did this?

of Restore Our Humanity — the group that raised the money, hired the attorneys, found the plaintiffs and pushed a lawsuit through Utah courts — begins with one man who was elated that the country elected President Barack Obama and pissed off by the “professional haters.”

Born in Salt Lake City, Mark Lawrence lived in the San Francisco Bay Area for 16 years, moving back to be with his family in 2000. He moved to Cache Valley in 2002 to live with a partner.

“From San Francisco to a town with a population of 600 … talk about culture shock,” he quipped.

Four years later, a fire took all of that away.

Six months after that, he was diagnosed with lung cancer, though he had stopped smoking in 1997. He spent the next two years at the Huntsman Cancer Institute for chemo.

“During that time, I was on disability and just kept dragging my butt out of bed in the mornings,” he said. “I became really interested in politics. Especially Utah politics because, when I came back to Utah in 2000, it was like stepping into an alternate universe. We had openly gay legislators and Mike Thompson and Equality Utah and really cool things happening.”

He began slowly getting involved and following politics, especially gay politics.

“I started getting just a little involved. I met Reed Cowan when his film came to Sundance,” he said. “The whole process revved me up and I think I got energy from it. I began to get better. But I also started realizing how fucked up things were and I started really getting pissed.”

Then, Obama was elected.

OBAMA ELECTION “I’ll never forget the feelings of elation of his victory, mixed with the heartache of Prop PHOTOS: DAV.D PHOTOGRAPHY DAVIDDANIELSPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

special edition, jan. 2014 | issue 227 | gaysaltlake.com

8. So, I started following the long, drawnout process of the Prop 8 case very closely,” Lawrence said. “The whole case became fascinating. I started following the professional haters — Maggie Gagme, Brian Brown, Tony Perkins, Porno Pete and the rest. I started getting even more pissed.”

When Judge Vaughn Walker ruled against Proposition 8, and for gay marriage, Lawrence’s mind started ticking.

“Judge Walker’s decision on Prop 8 was brilliant: Prop 8 was indefensible. I couldn’t understand why somebody wasn’t doing the same thing with Amendment 3,” he said.

UTAH’S TURN He decided the largest obstacle in overturning Amendment 3 wasn’t the religious community or the toxic political climate.

“It’s the damned apathy,” he said.

“People are so fucking willing to accept the status quo and accept ‘that’s the way things are’ and it isn’t going to change.

Bullshit. Apathy is the enemy. The others are just inconveniences.”

“Well, I think we kicked apathy’s ass around the block,” he jokes.

He realized that the current LGBT advocacy organizations, which he said were so dependent upon public support and, therefore, unwilling to take risks, couldn’t effectively make a full-scale assault on Amendment 3.

“I knew the only way this could be accomplished was with an honest to {insert deity here} grass roots effort,” he said.

“Someone who could get things started without worrying about public opinion and with the attitude of ‘I don’t gotta take no shit from nobody’,” he said.

GRASS ROOTS Lawrence started a Facebook group named Restore Our Humanity and started talking with people.

“The original group consisted of Bob and Melissa Henline, a straight ally friend of mine named Nate, Griffin Jenkins and Clyde Peck,” he said. “Then things started falling into place.”

Lawrence and the group began a search for a legal team to take on the case. Matthew Spencer came on to help with PR.

GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 15

Annette Day, Kate Call, Karen Crist and David Saari joined as board members.

They eventually found James Magleby, Peggy Tomsic and Jennifer Fraser Parrish of the small local law firm, Magleby & Greenwood, P.C. The legal team began drawing arguments and a complaint, and the rest of the board began seeking plaintiffs. And money.

They knew it was going to take a lot of money.

“The vast majority of our support has come from the business community, and especially Dr. Patrick Byrne of Overstock. com,” Lawrence said. “I felt it was a good idea to approach the business community since this action could have a major impact on the business community.”

“I have to admit, though, the response has been dismal. There have been boycotts called against Utah since 2008 because of the state’s influence in Prop 8 in California,” Lawrence said. “I approached the entire Utah ski industry and was quite taken back by the lack of interest and, even more, lack of support from the Utah Ski Industry. The hospitality industry has been fair and responsive.”

Lawrence and the team struggled to gain financial interest from many community organizations and frequent donors to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and ally causes.

And then, the ruling came down.

RULING: ANTI-GAY LAWS ARE UNCONSTITUTIONAL “Since the ruling, we have seen interest from a few of the national organizations.

We are still negotiating with some of these. Some of them have conditions that we find unacceptable,” Lawrence said.

Lawrence says that he was not expecting support from certain larger Utah organizations while the case was in the trial phase.

“Because of the nature of the litigation and the path it had to follow, it may appear that we have not benefited from the support of some of our local organizations, namely Equality Utah and The Pride Center. This is wrong,” Lawrence said. “These organizations have been standing ready and made themselves available to us at

exactly the right time and they have been fully supportive and onboard.”

“This whole process has gone far beyond what we at Restore Our Humanity are qualified and capable of,” Lawrence continued. “With the support and the expertise of Brandie Balken and Cliff Rosky at E.U. with the support of The Pride Center, we are now positioned and ready to take Kitchen v. Herbert to the national level and I have no doubt that the coalition that we have become will continue to change history and help bring marriage equality to the entire country.”

“SCOTUS, here we come,” Lawrence yelled.

FUNDING The state of Utah has estimated that it will take around $2 million to appeal the case. Logic says that an equal amount will need to be raised by Restore and its coalition.

“It is generally perceived that costs and fees are awarded to the winners in a civil litigation,” Lawrence explained. “Not always. As director, I signed a contract with Magelby & Greenwood and accepted all responsibility for the fees and cost of this litigation. I have absolutely no regrets or doubts about that decision. I am, as our legal team is, absolutely willing to do all that is necessary to bring this to conclusion.”

Lawrence is touched by the many stories he hears from people contributing to the organization.

“There are people on disability around the country who have sent us $5 and $10 donations,” he said. “People on unemployment have sent us money just because they wanted to be part of this.”

“Most of those involved are people who have not been in front of the cameras or in front of the media, who are in the background, people who have been together for decades and never expected to see this day.

All of these people worked and donated and one day, on Saturday, Dec. 21st, children woke up to find their parents were married and their families equal,” he said.

“On behalf of myself and my crew at Restore Our Humanity, it has been an honor and a privilege.” Q

16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH

Who did this?

gaysaltlake.com | issue 227 | special edition, jan. 2014

Moudi Sbeity & Derek Kitchen The Middle

East and the West came together in love and harmony, at least in the ­relationship between Moudi Sbeity and Derek Kitchen, and Utah’s gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and ally community will likely never forget that.

The case that District Judge Robert Shelby ruled Utah’s antgay marriage laws and constitutional amendment will forever forward be called Kitchen v. Herbert.

Sbeity moved to Logan, Utah, in July, 2006, an evacuee from the Israeli-Lebanese conflict. He was evacuated because he held a U.S. passport since he was born in Houston, Texas while his mother was visiting family. He was raised in Beirut, Lebanon.

“I am very lucky and fortunate to have the American passport,” Sbeity said. “Without it, I would not be where I am today.

I would not be with Derek, and I would not be a plaintiff in Kitchen v. Herbert.”

Kitchen is a Utah native who grew up near South Jordan.

“I always imagined that I’d move far, far away. But then I fell in love with Salt Lake City and the rest is history,” Kitchen said.

The couple owns a Middle Eastern food company is Salt Lake City called Laziz, which produces and distributes Middle Eastern spreads at local grocery stores and farmers markets. They have been running Laziz for two years and also teach cooking classes.

The couple met and dated long distance for the first year.

“I had a blog during my undergraduate years with my personal musings, which Derek found and regularly commented,” Sbeity said. “We then connected again on a now-defunct website, Connexion, and from there decided to go on a date.”

Sbeity remembers the date well when Kitchen drove to Logan from Salt Lake City: Saturday, Oct. 10.

PHOTOS: JADIE JO PHOTOGRAPHY JADIEJOPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 17

special edition, jan. 2014 | issue 227 | gaysaltlake.com

is proud to celebrate marriage equality.

“We spent the entire day together, and mutually decided to give our best effort to connect and share our life experiences together,” Sbeity said. “And we still are four and a half years later.”

The couple met Mark Lawrence, president of Restore Our Humanity, at a Utah Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce social. After several interactions, Mark approached them about the opportunity.

“Moudi was hesitant at first, but we felt like this was the right thing to do,” Kitchen said. “We realized that at this point in our life — being co-owners in a business, living together, adopting a dog, being very close with each others’ families — that it was time to get married.”

The couple, however, are holding out until the case is finalized and forever “written in the books without compromise.”

“We are confident this will happen soon, and are hopefully planning a wedding for this coming fall,” Sbeity said. “Time and money permitting.”

About being party of this historic event, the couple were extremely humble.

“It feels humbling,” Sbeity said. “Humbling because this is bigger than us. This is about generations past and future, about children who will grow up without the piercing stigma of being a second-class citizen, and who will grow up with no second thought about the person they love.”

“On the other hand, it feels elevating, because we collectively put in our efforts to better our community and the lives of our brothers and sisters,” he continued. “It feels so good to know that, because of the commitment that we put in, alongside Kody, Laurie, Kate, Karen, Mark, Peggy, James and Jennifer, we were able to do something good for millions of people. It makes us want to give more of ourselves to do good. We’re very proud.” Q

Congratulations to all who’ve made history and tied the knot!

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18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH

gaysaltlake.com | issue 227 | special edition, jan. 2014

Kody Partridge & Laurie Wood Kody Partridge and Laurie Wood are two of the plaintiffs pushing Utah to drop its anti-gay marriage laws. Both call Utah home, though Wood was born in Idaho Falls, Idaho and Partridge is from Montana, moving to Utah in 1984.

Both earned Masters degrees in English from Brigham Young University.

They met in 2010, after many mutual friends had insisted they meet for years, at the Equality Utah Allies Dinner.

“Laurie will tell you that I shamelessly chased her,” Partridge said. “Perhaps I did, but oh well, here we are. I made her dinner. We talked for hours, and both of us decided that we should reconvene for another conversation. She shared her apricot jam, so I just had to make her breakfast a couple of days later.”

“If you only knew how delicious her jam is,” Partridge laughed.

The pair joined the suit in March, 2013, after a friend asked them. Their friend and her partner had wanted to join the suit, but were already married in New York.

Who did this?

“Laurie said yes immediately, so we discussed the ramifications and decided that it was too important not to add our names as plaintiffs,” Partridge said. “We had to make our decision within four days, but we have never looked back.

From the beginning, the couple had the support of friends and community.

“Laurie’s brother immediately lent his support, as did his wife and family. I was timid,” Partridge said. “However my father, who is almost 82, hugged Laurie and me when he learned that we had married, and one of my sisters conveyed her respect and love for the two of us.”

They married after District Judge Robert Shelby’s decision.

“Laurie and I decided to seize the moment,” Partridge said. “We had already sold our respective houses so that we could build a life together. We had shared stories with each other. We had exchanged rings and planted a garden together. So, when the news arrived, Laurie immediately set her grading aside and I left the grocery bags on

the kitchen table, and we went to the clerk’s office to apply for a marriage license a second time —but this time with the blessing of a federal judge. It was magical.”

As being a part of a historical moment in Utah, Wood said, “We’re not sure whether the historical impact has really registered.

Kody announces the good news everywhere we go, and her news is received with love and thanks. I feel humbled when someone gives thanks or shares a personal story. We both laugh when we see ourselves in the New York Times or on MSNBC — it’s pretty surreal.”

“But I think we can honestly say we’re so proud to represent (if that’s what we’re doing) the LGBT community of Salt Lake and of Utah,” Wood continued. “So many others have worked to make this city a great place for us to live, and we’re happy if our actions help make others’ lives happy as well.”

“I hope that those who have married and those who know someone who married will keep the joy in their hearts. If we approach this change in our state with love and goodwill we certainly will prove the governor and the state attorneys wrong; we will make Utah the great state we love,” Wood said. “We all should be more like Kody and celebrate the love with everyone we know.” Q

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GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 19

Kate Call & Karen Archer Born in Wisconsin, then moving to Monterrey, Mexico, where her parents were called to be Mormon mission presidents, plaintiff Kate Call moved to Provo, Utah at the age of eight. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in Fine Art and Design before attending nursing school at BYU Salt Lake.

It was at BYU that she had her first lesbian relationship and she left BYU Salt Lake because she feared she was about to have another.

“I was trying to ‘repent’ from my prior same-sex relationship, which I had convinced myself had happened only because I had anomalously happened to fall in love with a woman, and not because I was a lesbian,” she said.

She packed her bags and moved out of Salt Lake, and in 1976 went on an LDS mission to Argentina.

“I again had a same-sex experience with one of my companions,” she said. “At about that same time my companion and I were rounded up by the military and put in jail, where we narrowly escaped with our lives.”

“My mission president, without my knowledge or consent, sent a copy of my written confession [of the relationship] to the General Authorities, to my home bishop, and to my parents,” she said. “This is how I came out to my parents.”

Over the next 23 years she began and operated three businesses and then retired, buying a sheep ranch in southeastern Utah.

“For the record, buying a ranch is a horrible way to retire,” she said. “I ran through all my savings and pension

funds trying to stay afloat, and finally found a seasonal maintenance job with the National Park Service.”

“My partner at the time began work for the State of Utah. After a few years a rumor circulated around the town closest to our employment and ranch. People were saying we were lesbians. My partner was told she had to move away from me if she wanted to keep her job,” she said. “We knew it was a ridiculous request, but jobs were incredibly difficult to find, and we knew we had no employment discrimination protections, so she moved to a small place in town.”

But, as it turns out, someone saw her vehicle there one evening and she was fired. Two weeks later she got an email saying that her services were no longer required.

The stress of the ranch and the town ended the 13-year relationship.

“I waited a year or so, then began looking for someone on an online dating site. Karen and I met face-to-face three years ago. She had been living in Boulder, Colo. at the time, where she had retired from her private practice as an Ob/Gyn. She was found by Restore Our Humanity’s director, Mark Lawrence through the Salt Lake Tribune comment boards.

“When Mark announced that he intended to form a group to fight for marriage equality, I immediately decided to join him,” she said. “Our first meeting consisted of Mark and several of his friends and me.

The next meeting I brought some of my friends as well, and that’s how it began.”

“We had a somewhat herkyjerky beginning, as we hadn’t yet incorporated, didn’t have

funds, and didn’t have a law team. But over the months, one thing after another came together, mostly due to Mark,” she said. “Once we had Jim Magleby, Peggy Tomsic, and Jennifer Parrish on the team, who agreed to do their good work without requiring immediate payment, we began

gaining momentum. The only problem was that we didn’t have any plaintiffs. I finally volunteered myself and Karen.

We were not candidates for a Utah marriage as we had married in Iowa in 2011. However, we had found it remarkable that our marriage was not recognized in Utah.” Q

Everyone deserves to be happy and healthy

20 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH

gaysaltlake.com | issue 227 | special edition, jan. 2014

We must restore our humanity

BY CLYDE PECK, BOARD MEMBER OF RESTORE OUR HUMANITY

events of the last two weeks I must sit down and reflect upon a few things.

I am 52 years old now, but I look back at growing up and remember how I was different than others in some way. I remember not fitting in and wondering what that was all about.

Then one day, I was at work, at one of my first jobs at 16 and I caught myself looking at some guy’s butt. Yup, that was my ‘OH MY’ moment. Realizing that I was gay. I was lucky. I just said to myself, ‘Ohhhhh’ and moved on about my day.

Who did this?

But back then, in the 70s, we had no options to be anything other than just ‘gay.’ I ended up bar-hopping and drinking too much, and yes, drugs too. But that is what gay was back then. We did not even dream of other options. We sought after those that were like us. To fit in somewhere. That was usually in a bar, drinking and dancing and being with others. I did not dream of other choices. I had thought about it. I had thought that I would be a great father to a child. But I figured that

Celebrate at

was not what life had handed me. I did not fight that, I accepted that that is what gay people did ... back then.

Today, I am realizing that gay people, I use this term to include all others than just gay men, are now able to have choices.

Choices to have a child, by whatever means, a choice to live outside of the gay bar culture. We have choices now to live the life we wish it could be.

I wish for our coming-of-age generations to take hold of those hopes and dreams. To marry if you choose. To have a family if you choose. To be something besides what the world, and even ourselves, have looked at as being gay. I see couples that are adopting children and becoming families, married with children. Good lord, who’d have thought?

I now have a husband. I am proud to say that. Stan, is my rock! He is what I had always sought after in my years. We have been married three times now. Nov.

23, 1996, back when DOMA was being signed into law by President Clinton. We did it for us, no other reason. We knew it meant nothing by law, but we wanted that.

Again, this last summer, on July 23, 2013, in California to renew our vows and made it legal, at least in California. The third time was Dec. 23, 2013, as husband and husband, in Utah because it was now legal in our home state. (Each time was on the 23rd for some reason) But we will always celebrate our anniversary on the original date, November 23.

I would never have thought years ago that I would be a part of bringing marriage equality to Utah. But I haven’t done it for me. I have done it because it is the right thing to do for our community. My community that has suffered, been tortured, and degraded. Now, as always, we are human, we have choices to make. That is why we must restore our humanity. Q

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22 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH

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GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 25

Fulfilling Christ’s charge

BY ORLAN ROE OWEN AND GORDON STORRS

We suspected during the 2003 “No on 3” campaign that Utah’s constitutional amendment was unconstitutional, and Judge Shelby’s ruling validated our beliefs.

Like so many in our community, Gordon and I followed with great interest the developing story of gay marriage after his ruling. We watched the news and read the coverage of elated, celebratory reaction within our community of support and the expected blow-back from the entrenched institutions.

On Monday we wanted to go to the Salt Lake County Complex, as much as anything, to witness history. We left home before eight in the morning. While we drove I asked Gordon, “What do you think are our chances of getting married?”

He replied, “About 10 percent.”

Arriving just past the hour, a security officer greeted us outside the building and directed us to the end of the line. The line circled around the perimeter hallway of the first floor of the building, continued up the stairs, wound around the second floor hallway where it ended at the clerk’s office. Cheering erupted, a noisy celebration born out of years of repression, as couples exited the office armed with their paperwork. Pairs made their way to the main floor open hallway where ministers, some newly ordained, performed marriages in front of this very public and supportive, rowdy crowd freely acknowledging our new relationships.

After more than half an hour in line, we had moved no more than six feet. Megan Risbon from the Utah Pride Center was on her cell phone checking other counties and advised that Morgan, Davis and Tooele counties were issuing licenses with no waiting. The nine o’clock hour approached and a possible stay order could be announced at any time.

Another time constraint was that the next morning, Christmas Eve, Gordon’s four children, spouses, and 12 grandchildren would arrive at our home for breakfast and to open gifts. We had much to do. We decided to drive to Farmington, the seat of Davis County.

A young man greeted us in the hallway outside the clerk’s office and kindly asked

us to wait until someone was free to help.

In a short time we were at the desk filling out paperwork while the middle-aged woman apologized that they had not had time to alter the forms which labeled the spaces to be filled in “groom” and “bride.”

A question we overheard several times was, “How long have you been together?”

Answers and stories were returned and exchanged, listened to with respect and empathy, internalized, sometimes accompanied with tears and awkward over-thecounter hugs.

We witnessed clerks handing couples with completed papers cellophane bags tied with white ribbon which contained two cupcakes with white icing reportedly delivered earlier in the morning by a local woman who said that every couple deserves cake on their wedding day.

We handed the forms back to the clerk, who delivered them to a woman on a computer and soon returned to us a printed copy to check for accuracy. The clerk next presented us with the marriage license for our signatures. She collected the fee and had the license signed by the deputy clerk.

She then asked if we wished the services of a minister. I told her that I understood when a license was issued that the contract was complete and inviolate. She pointed out the tiny print at the top which read “application” and the print at the bottom outside the decorative border which read in part: “This marriage license must be used within 30 days from the date of issue” and returned to the clerk “within 30 days after the marriage is solemnized.”

She must have read on our faces a combination of hesitancy, confusion and disappointment. Of course Gordon and I had discussed a commitment ceremony before

and the way this situation was unfolding did not meet our ideal plans. She explained that a minister had driven from Logan that morning and was performing marriages on the second floor in front of a large window that overlooked the old courthouse. She said the setting was private and had a decorated Christmas tree.

We took the elevator to the second floor.

We handed our paperwork to the minister, a very young woman, slight with almond-shaped blue eyes and shoulderlength natural blonde hair. I told her I understood that she was from Logan. She said, “Yes, I drove down to where I was needed.”

She checked the pronunciation of our names and asked us to stand in front of her facing each other. We listened as she read vows freshly written and genuinely felt. When she asked me to repeat after her my vows to Gordon, the words stopped in my throat. Whether it was a well spring of happiness erupting or the joy of facing my partner and joining our lives in this covenant and contract I don’t know, but as Gordon squeezed my hand I found my voice again.

Visiting immediately after with the minister, Rachael Peterson, and the lesbian couple she married before us who acted as witnesses, we learned that Rachael is a minister in the Universal Unitarian Church of Cache Valley, a doctoral student at Utah State University and the founder of the Cache Youth Resource Center, which operates to support homeless LBGT youth.

As I read my New Testament, Rachael is fulfilling Christ’s charge and that is sanctification enough for me. Q

26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH

gaysaltlake.com | issue 227 | special edition, jan. 2014

Marriage is an affirmation of a community

BY REV. CURTIS L. PRICE

In the past week, I have performed 19 same-sex marriages. Many people have asked me how I, as a pastor, can engage in performing the sacred rite of marriage for same-gender couples.

I could get into the fact that the texts from the Bible that are used to condemn homosexuality are being grossly misapplied to the same-gender couples who desire to make a lifelong marriage commitment. I could say that the constitution and the rules we perceive from a faith perspective are not the same.

I could point out that marriage equality has been a financial boon for Utah counties, having issued almost 1,000 licenses at $40 a pop in Salt Lake County alone, not to mention rings, cakes, flowers and such.

I could defend my participation in many ways. Yet I think the most compelling affirmation of same-gender marriage has come as I have performed ceremonies at the county building.

Over and over again I have quickly recited the vows and declared married couples who have been in committed re-

Reaching out in love

BY RICH GUGGENHEIM, M.ED.

It was

not long ago in history when simple majorities of people were able to vote and laws were enacted which drove the early saints from state to state, depriving them of life, liberty and their pursuit of happiness. The saints would gather in an area and before long, the people around them said they did not want the saints practicing their “abominations,” or their “immoral, alternative life styles,” which included their definition of marriage. Had it not been for activist judges, Latter-day Saints in some places would still be deprived of these rights.

I have watched with wonder and awe at the reactions of Latter-day Saints in Utah, and around the world, as same-sex marriage has been legalized in the Beehive State. I rejoice with those who rejoice. But

with others, I am filled with bewilderment.

Following the ruling that the Utah state constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage was in violation of the U.S. Constitution and thus overturned, I thought it would be a good time to brush up on my beliefs and history as a Latter-day Saint. I believe it would suit all Latter-day Saints, from Thomas Monson all the way down to the lowliest, to do the same. Ask yourself, do I as a member, do we as a church still believe in the following scriptures?

Here is where I would suggest we start.

Read the Articles of Faith. Specifically numbers 11, 12 and 13. You claim the privilege of worshiping almighty God, and claim to allow others the same privilege.

Did you know that there are some reli-

lationships for 14, 18, 20, 22, 27 years. The couples in more than half of the weddings I have officiated have been together 15 years or longer.

They are people in love who have committed “to love, honor and cherish each other in sickness and in health” long before the state of Utah afforded them the protections of legally recognized marriage.

They know what marriage is.

So why bother? What is so important about the piece of paper? Aside from the legal protections, marriage is unique and it is something that comes from our common humanity.

Marriage takes place in the context of community and family who witness the vows being given one to another. A couple doesn’t just exchange vows to each other, they do it so everyone can hear and can remind them of those vows. It keeps them honest and it emphasizes the graveness of the act.

The affirmation of the entire community brings this unique connection to each marriage.

So I would add my voice to so many who are begging Gov. Gary Herbert to indeed stand on the side of what is truly the tradition of marriage and stop challenging Judge Robert Shelby’s decision.

From what I have seen in the past several days, marriage equality will only strengthen this sacred institution. Q The Rev. Curtis L. Price is Pastor of the First Baptist Church of Salt Lake City.

gions in Utah that do not believe homosexuality is a sin, or believe that same-sex marriage is a religious rite and would perform them, were they legal? Now that they are legal, will you honor their newfound religious freedom, or do you believe it is your right to tell them same-sex marriage is immoral and we will not allow you to practice as you believe?

What about being subjects to magistrates? When a judge issued his ruling, and ordered same-sex marriage licenses to be issued, I was shocked at the number of county clerks who, with impunity, willfully disobeyed a court order. How can those of you who are members support the actions of these elected officials with a clean conscience? Not only have they gone against what you claim to believe in your Articles of Faith, but also, and more importantly, broken their obligation to uphold and defend the law.

The next thing I would suggest is an in

special edition, jan. 2014 | issue 227 | gaysaltlake.com

GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 27

Looking for a beautiful space for your ceremony?

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Skaggs Memorial Wedding Chapel At First Baptist Church 777 S 1300 E (801) 582-4921 Firstbaptist-slc.org

depth reading and some time reflecting on Doctrine and Covenants section 134. All of it is applicable, but specifically verse nine. Do you still believe these things, or because of the issue, do you throw out the scriptures?

And last, I would suggest some quality time reading The Book of Mormon. I recently fell in love with Mosiah 29:34.

To the LDS church leaders and members: You say you reach out in love, yet like faith without works, those words seem empty with no action to back them up.

The LDS Church issued a statement following the ruling encouraging respect. The LDS. org website and mormonsandgays.com website say that we should reach out in love

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and understanding. As I have read through posts made by Latter-day Saints, and other Christians on social media, and as I have listened to stories of members in wards and stakes, it has become clear, there is vast room for improvement.

When Jesus walked the earth, he reached out in love, and he reached down to heal. What are you doing to reach out in love?

What are you doing to heal the spiritual, emotional, and all too often physical wounds of our LGBT family, community and Church members caused by decades of homophobic policy and doctrine? Q

Kip@1stUtah.com Doug@1stUtah.com 801.320.0606

Rich Guggenheim is a Horticulture/4-H agent and is on the diversity work team for Colorado State University Extension. He graduated in 2008 from BYU, Idaho.

2121 South McClelland Street Ste 201 Salt Lake City Utah 84106 www.SaltLakeExperts.com

28 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH

Wedding dress by Chuck-A-Rama

BY MARY DANZIG

My first

memory of a wedding ceremony is sitting spellbound in front of a TV while Princess Diana walked down the aisle in her glorious dress with the mile-long train. In contrast, my three daughters’ first memory will include a young woman in her Chuck-A-Rama work shirt waiting in a long line with her newborn baby and partner to obtain a marriage license.

On Friday afternoon, hundreds of people dropped what they were doing and rushed to the Salt Lake County Clerk’s office when they learned that Amendment 3 (which prohibited same-sex marriage) had been overturned. They wanted to get married. They didn’t know how long the window of opportunity would be open.

Many had waited years, even decades, to marry. They weren’t going to waste another moment.

I rushed my own girls out the door.

I threw a damp washcloth at my oldest daughter, instructing her to wash her youngest sister’s face while I drove. We had a wedding to get to.

When we walked into the county building we heard cheering. Utah State Sen. James Dabakis had just married his partner of 27 years. Clergy from several denominations stood in the foyer performing weddings for couples. Each time a couple emerged from the clerk’s office with their marriage license, people cheered. We saw hundreds of people standing in line to get their licenses. At 5 p.m., the county clerk announced that all people in line would have their licenses processed if at all possible, but anyone else joining the line after 5 p.m., would probably not receive a marriage license. And yet, people continued to get in line, “just in case.”

As I looked at the young woman in her Chuck-A-Rama shirt, I felt certain that this was not what she had planned to wear to her dream wedding. Absent from the event were bouquets, cake, music, and most significantly, the majority of this couple’s family and friends. And yet, it didn’t seem to matter. The joy was overwhelming.

Everywhere I turned there were children, giddy that their parents were getting married, elderly people thrilled to finally legally bind themselves together, and young

gaysaltlake.com | issue 227 | special edition, jan. 2014

couples, starry-eyed and dreamy, eager to begin their lives.

It was a perfect night. Our friends were married in a beautiful, simple ceremony with their two children looking on. I choked back tears as I watched these two amazing moms finally able to make their commitment to each other legal. My husband, Peter, and I were given the incredible honor of being their witnesses.

On Saturday, 350 people waited outside in the cold to obtain marriage licenses, only to learn that the Weber County ofice had determined it could not open after all. Sunday night people slept outside the Salt Lake County building, hoping they could obtain a marriage license in the morning before the State of Utah could request (and possibly be granted) a stay.

Over the past few days I have thought a lot about my newlywed friends who still don’t know if their marriage will guarantee the nonbiological mom the right to adopt the children she has nurtured since the day they were born.

I have felt shame at the contrast in the circumstances around my wedding. There was never any doubt I could obtain a wedding license to marry Peter. We selected a summer day for our nuptials when family and friends could join us. Forever impacted by Princess Diana’s wedding, I agonized over all the details of our wedding day for months. I certainly didn’t have to sleep on the sidewalk the night before I married my soul mate. No one thought I was a threat to their family because I wanted to start my own.

And so, Monday morning, Peter, the kids and I headed off to the Salt Lake County building again to witness more friends marry. We felt like we couldn’t go emptyhanded. You don’t do that at a wedding.

And yet, what do you get for hundreds of couples? Well, we knew they didn’t have time to plan all the details, like the music, so we took our instruments and played all the wedding standards: Pachelbel, Bach, Mouret and more until our arms hurt.

Our girls sang “Morning Has Broken” and never has that song felt more right.

I heard the cheer go up when someone shouted, “The stay has been denied!” Everyone standing in a line that wrapped around two floors of the building was going to be able to get married that day. And yet, no one knows if another court may yet grant a stay. Or, if the State of Utah might win its appeal.

I know not everyone believes in gay marriage; people are free to have their opin-

ions. And, religions do not have to marry same-sex couples if they do not wish to, although many faiths welcome the opportunity. As for me, the LGBT community has strengthened my appreciation of marriage and family. I have witnessed that the right to legally commit to the person you love is powerful. People will drop everything to do it. They will wear a Chuck-A-Rama shirt if they have to. They will freeze all night in order to have their relationship formally recognized and honored. People with such commitment bring something precious to Utah. They inspire me to cherish my marriage more deeply and to realize how much I take for granted.

I hope as my girls grow up that they will never forget what they have seen over these historic days. I hope they will remember what a remarkable thing love is, what a precious gift it is to find someone who wants to walk through life hand-inhand, whatever it may bring. I hope they will remember that marriage is about dropping everything to be with the person you love, that it sustains you when life is cold and that Chuck-A-Rama shirts don’t really matter when you have your best friend. But I also hope that my daughters will come to expect a world where all couples are shown the same dignity that their parents were. I hope someday to live in a state where any loving adult couple can expect they can walk into the County Clerk’s office on any weekday and obtain a marriage license without fear of stays or appeals. Then, I think we will be a state with family values. Q Mary Danzig is a fiddler/violinist and mom. She performs with her husband Peter in the folk/newgrass duo Otter Creek, and played for those marrying at the Salt Lake County Complex and at the Love Elevated Mass Wedding Reception. Their website is at ottercreekduo.com.

PHOTO: DAV.D PHOTOGRAPHY DAVIDDANIELSPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

Marry Christmas 2014!

JERRY RAPIER, PRODUCING DIRECTOR, PLAN-B THEATRE COMPANY

My husband Kirt and I have been joking about how many anniversaries we now have: the anniversary of our first date, the anniversary of our marriage in New York and now the anniversary of our marriage in Utah.

That last one may just be the most meaningful. Not because we didn’t think it would come, but because it came so suddenly and changed our world completely.

We happened to be the first gay couple from Utah to get married in New York on July 24, 2011. It wasn’t planned – we already had plans to be in the city that weekend so decided to stand in line and hope for the best. We were utterly unprepared for how different it would feel. And it does feel different to say “husband” instead of “partner,” to say “married” instead of “together.” And now to be able to say “married in Utah” – well, there are no words.

Our son will never know a world where same-sex marriage wasn’t possible.

We at Plan-B Theatre Company have been exploring marriage equality over the

GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 29

PHOTO: JOLENE MEWING

special edition, jan. 2014 | issue 227 | gaysaltlake.com

past few seasons, telling other people’s stories in STANDING ON CEREMONY: THE GAY MARRIAGE PLAYS and “8,” both staged as part of our Script-In-Hand Series. But now we want to take it one step further by telling your stories.

Plan-B and QSaltLake will present MARRY CHRISTMAS December 20-23, 2014 as part of the Script-In-Hand Series.

MARRY CHRISTMAS will be a collec-

tion of wedding stories, reactions to Judge Shelby’s ruling, reactions from family and friends, or simply reactions as an observer performed in celebration of the first anniversary of same-sex marriage in Utah!

Please submit your stories to Jerry Rapier at jerry@planbtheatre.org by March 15. We are looking for your immediate first reaction, the truthful from-the-gutand-heart story. Q

30 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | GAY MARRIAGE IN UTAH

Miracles still happen in Utah

BY LEESA MYERS

Valentine’s

Day 2013, I stood with other clergy at the Salt Lake County Clerk’s office supporting the LGBT couples who were waiting in line for a marriage license.

Everyone was moved to tears, even the county clerks that were saying no to the requests.

It was heartbreaking to see the couples being denied to marry the one they loved.

Fast forward 10 months, Dec. 21, 2013, Amendment 3 was ruled unconstitutional and hundreds of gay couples went to the county clerk’s office, and this time with tears of joy

were given a marriage license.

I was giddy as the news portrayed couples saying their vows and pronounced married in the State of Utah. I called my son to share with him the exciting news; we were both stunned like so many others that this was really happening in Utah.

I went down to the Salt Lake County clerk’s office the next Monday to help officiate weddings and be a part of the joyous moment. As a mom, it was thrilling to see the love, the joy in everyone’s faces.

Then to see those same faces again and again on the news at

For Everyone’s Wedding Flower Needs

gaysaltlake.com | issue 227 | special edition, jan. 2014

night, what a miracle and this will not stop; I am so proud of the couples that brought the case to court and all those that made this event happen.

As a mom, I look forward to my son finding his soul companion and husband, I wish him the same love and excitement that I witnessed on Monday. I want my children to be happy and have all the rights that my husband and I have, and more. My son is an incredible, amazing man that happens to be gay, my daughter is an incredible amazing women and mother and happens to be straight, my son has blue eyes and my daughter has brown, they did not pick their sexual orientation anymore then they picked the color of their eyes. I am proud of both of them. I want them both to be the best them they can be, to be happy and to make this world a better place to live.

Not because one is straight or one is gay, but because they are my children whom I adore and love completely.

In Utah, and soon all states, people will be married, not gay weddings or straight weddings, but people will celebrate weddings and celebrate the love along with the couples. This will not deteriorate the family structure but will strengthen the family. Families will learn to love their children as their children - not gay or straight just their children.

God’s righteous people will begin to understand that the LGBT and allies are not asking the churches or their members to change their beliefs and that by standing next to the LGBT community they are not going down the path leading to hell. But that they are saying all people deserve and expect the same civil rights in this country and this state, no exceptions.

Mother Theresa said, “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. … Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own home. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor … Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting.”

Let’s stop the hatred, the abuse, and the killings, in the name of God. I am pretty sure God would appreciate it; as a parent, sister, and friend, I know I would.

Congratulations to all the couples that had a very special 2013 Christmas present: marriage to your loving partner.

And to all couples, I wish you all the love and joy being in love brings you.

A proud mom! Q Leesa@LeesaMyers.com

Don’t worry that the schmuck down the street won’t like your same-sex ceremony.This is the place to find businesses and people to help with your wedding in Utah whom you know will treat you fairly and appreciate your business.

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CONGRATULATIONS LGBT NEWLYWEDS!

WDC-PAC You are invited to join the WOMEN’S DEMOCRATIC CLUB OF UTAH, the nation’s oldest women’s Democratic club.

Contact Stephanie Thomas at president@wdcutah.org or visit at www.wdcutah.org.

WDC-PAC raises money in any amount, small or large, to contribute to Democratic campaigns in Utah state and local races.

WDC-PAC supports only those candidates who pledge to work for increased education funding, expansion of public health services, strong environmental protections, and who ADVOCATE FOR EQUAL RIGHTS AND PROTECTIONS FOR ALL SUPPORT WDC-PAC’S FUNDRAISER Salt Lake Acting Company Sunday, August 17 Saturday’s Voyeur matinee performance CONTRIBUTE TO WDC-PAC at www.wdcutah.org or contact Billie Larson, PAC Director at bglarson@comcast.net