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news The top national and world news you should know from last month Ft. Lauderdale elects gay mayor It’s about time Ft. Lauderdale has elected an openly gay mayor. Dean Trantalis won with 64 percent of the vote. Long a gay mecca, Ft. Lauderdale has had a history of not-homo-friendly public officials. A decade ago, the sitting mayor said the city needed to buy single-occupancy public toilets on the beach to “reduce homosexual sex in bathrooms.” He also opposed a collection of gay and lesbian literature in a public library.

It was that mayor’s attitudes that motivated the new mayor to get into city politics.

Daley, Black to become proud papas Olympic diver, Tom Daley and husband Oscar winner for the movie biography, Milk, Dustin Lance Black, announced they’re having a baby. Who’s carrying the baby is not released. Daley has remarked in the past that, “Lance and I definitely want a family in the future — who knows when?

We’re both lucky to have supportive families, and we want to share that with our own children.”

How now, Dow? DowDuPont, the world’s largest chemical company, announced that its openly gay

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COO Jim Fitterling would become the company’s chief executive officer. DowDuPont is the product of the mega-merger of Dow Chemical and DuPont. Fitterling started with Dow Chemical in 1984 and came out to his fellow employees in 2014.

Murphy to chill w/Netflix Glee, American Horror Story and other productions with an LGBT sensibility producer/director Ryan Murphy signed a record-breaking $300 million deal with Netflix to create original content for the popular streaming service. Netflix executive Ted Sarandos said: “Ryan Murphy’s unfaltering dedication to excellence and to give voice to the underrepresented, and we look forward to supporting Ryan in bringing his broad and diverse stories to the world.”

Methodists fire minister A Methodist pastor was fired for officiating a marriage ceremony between two women.

Anna Golladay was a pastor at the St. Marks and St. Elmo churches in Chattanooga, Tenn., two congregations predominantly composed of queer Christians and their allies. The UMC has more than seven million members in the U.S., forbids its pastors from officiating at same-sex weddings. The UMC’s laws and doctrines Book of Discipline say, “the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.” The Rev. Gary Ihfe, lead pastor of both churches, said, “Congregants were deeply upset when they heard the news.” The Rev. Golladay protested her firing saying, “The pain doled out by the United Methodist Church must stop,” she wrote in a blog post. “The continued minimization of our queer friends is not acceptable.”

Groups say new secretary of state is not LBGT friendly Leaders of LGBT organizations GLAAD and HRC criticized the selection of Mike Pompeo as the new U.S. Secretary of State. GLAAD President Sarah Kate Ellis decried Pompeo for consulting with the Family Research Council, “an anti-LGBTQ hate group that supported Uganda’s efforts to punish and execute LGBTQ people.”

In a fundraising letter, HRC President Chad Griffin said, “The decision to nominate anti-LGBTQ Mike Pompeo could have serious consequences for the United States and LGBTQ people around the globe.”

Some of the particulars against Pompeo are that he opposed the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell” in 2010, and called the Obergerfell marriage ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court, “A shocking abuse of power.” He also co-sponsored the State Marriage Defense Act and said he is not in favor of same-sex parenting as compared to the “ideal” of opposite-sex parenting. As CIA director he has canceled or minimized LGBT events at the agency.

Gays for Trump organizer runs in N.C. The gay man who organized Gays for Trump, Peter Boykin, is running for the North Carolina House of Representatives.

He was also the organizer of a group of Trump supporters who were banned from the 2017 Charlotte Pride celebration. Boykin has not been supportive of transgender affiliation with LGB efforts for civil rights. Boykin said, “I don’t consider transgender to be gay.” He opposed transgender people in the military

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April 2018

and, breaking with the NRA, inferred that transgender people should be prohibited from gun ownership. His Gays for Trump rally in D.C., fizzled when only “a couple dozen” people marched and an open mic took the place of official speakers and Trump didn’t tweet one word about it. Boykin blamed the low turnout on the weather.

Press blocked from ‘pandering’ Pence-PM Varadkar meeting Ireland is in the center of two LGBT controversies, one in Europe and another in the U.S. An entry from Ireland in the 63rd annual Eurovision music and video contest, “Together” by singer-songwriter Ryan O’Shaughnessy, features a gay couple dancing down the street after leaving Dublin’s Temple Bar. Though no one from Russia has commented yet, it’s feared that Russia and other countries may object to the video given those countries legal bans on “gay propaganda.” In the U.S., the ever-ready-to-take-offense LGBT political establishment sees homophobia in a meeting between out-Irish Prime Minister Leo Varadkar and VP Mike Pence. Of Irish descent, Pence hosted the former Irish PM at a public ceremony marking St. Patrick’s Day, with media invited. This year after attending an Oval Office meeting with Ireland heads of state, the VP is hosting a private breakfast for a smaller group. HRC, in a fundraising tweet, claimed Pence was pandering to an anti-LGBT base by keeping the media out.

PM Varadkar said he wanted to bring up LGBT rights and thought a private meeting was an excellent forum for that discussion. Q

April 2018 |

Issue 278 | Qsaltlake.com

Sens. Mike Lee, Orrin Hatch, and others reintroduce FADA Republican senators have reintroduced the First Amendment Defense Act, which if it becomes law will give the federal government’s blessing to discrimination against LGBT people and others in the name of religious beliefs about marriage and sexuality. The measure was introduced by Utah Sen. Mike Lee and 21 Republican co-sponsors, including Marco Rubio (R-Fla.), Orrin Hatch (R-Utah), Ben Sasse (R-Neb.), Rand Paul (R-Ky.), Tim Scott (R-S.C.), Tom Cotton (R-Ark.) and Ted Cruz (R-Texas).

If it becomes law, it will give the federal government’s blessing to discrimination against LGBT people and others in the name of religious beliefs about marriage and sexuality. According to the Advocate, language in the bill states that its purpose is “to ensure that the Federal Government shall not take any discriminatory action against a person, wholly or partially on the basis that such person speaks, or acts, in accordance with a sincerely held religious belief or moral conviction that marriage is or should be recognized as a union of one man and one woman, or two individuals as recognized under Federal law, or those sexual relations outside marriage are improper.”

The bill would prevent alteration of federal tax treatment, denial of or reduction in grants or contracts, denial of access to federal property or institutions, and a host of other actions against individuals and entities that refuse service based on these views.

The bill “reframes the original wording to exclude publicly traded for-profit companies, federal employees and contractors, and health care facil-

ities from the list of protected entities,” noted HuffPost, but does give its okay to discrimination by privately held for-profit companies.

In a statement, Sen. Lee said the legislation is necessary to ensure the federal government doesn’t impinge on individuals’ beliefs about marriage.

“What an individual or organization believes about the traditional definition of marriage is not — and should never be — a part of the government’s decision-making process when distributing licenses, accreditations, or grants,” Lee said. “And the First Amendment Defense Act simply ensures that this will always be true in America — that federal bureaucrats will never have the authority to require those who believe in the traditional definition of marriage to choose between their living in accordance with those beliefs and maintaining their occupation or their tax status.”

Patheos reported that in a little-noticed press release issued late in the 2016 campaign, Trump pledged his support for the First Amendment Defense Act. Trump’s pledge to support FADA strengthened and reinforced his position among white evangelicals, who would prove to be crucial in his 2016 electoral victory.

In the statement, titled “Issues Of Importance To Catholics,” which has since been deleted, Trump promised to sign FADA into law: “If I am elected president, and Congress passes the First Amendment Defense Act, I will sign it to protect the deeply held religious beliefs of Catholics and the beliefs of Americans of all faiths.” Q

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 9

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Sen. Dabakis to retire “We made it through another session.

My last as a senator. But I am not leaving you,” said Sen. Jim Dabakis (D-Salt Lake City). “I will double-down on speaking out with the 60,000 of us who belong to Utah Progressives.”

Dabakis announced he will not be seeking re-election to the Utah State Senate in 2018. Utah’s only openly gay representative at the state legislature was appointed

by Democratic delegates in December 2012 to replace outgoing Ben McAdams when he became Salt Lake County Mayor.

“I want to thank the people of Salt Lake City for giving me the greatest honor of my life: allowing me to represent them,” Dabakis wrote in a statement.

He said he believes that “people should be elected, serve with all their heart and soul, then make way for other citizens.”

“I have had six years of pouring myself into the Senate job. I have left nothing on the table. I am grateful that I was able to play a part in bringing the ‘homos and the Momos’ together with the historic 2015 LGBTQ non-discrimination law; help support and reorganize the arts and culture structure in the state; be a fierce watchdog in protecting our state’s precious lands; and perhaps it has been my greatest task to stand toe-to-toe with the all-encompassing political machine that runs the state.

In a video released on his decision, he said he feels his most important job was to “speak truth to power to the 30- to 40-percent of Utah citizens who feel like they have no voice.”

“From LGBT youth who feel alone and isolated, to hero educators disrespected for generations, to Native Americans fighting to protect sacred land, to many who believe there is no shame in enjoying adult beverages, to our Dreamers who are every bit [as] American as I, and to the women across Utah [who] are not given PHOTO COURTESY SENATORDABAKIS.COM

the same wages as their male counterparts for the same work and are belittled for demanding equal treatment.”

He said he enjoyed the people working on Utah’s Capitol Hill.

“My colleagues in the Senate have been wonderful people to serve with,” he wrote.

“While most of them are dead-wrong politically, that has never interfered with me having warm personal relations with each senator. I respect their hard work and sincerity. In the six years I’ve served in the

Issue 278 |

April 2018

Legislature, I have never spoken a word in anger with another Senator. I thank them for their congeniality (I am sure I have irritated them more than once).”

He does, though, think many should go.

“That said, I hope most of them get dethroned in their next election by a new generation of progressive Utahns that would welcome openness, diversity and a fresh approach to the State’s challenges,” he wrote.

He quoted Thomas Watkins for those who fight in Utah for progressive causes and rarely win.

“If you stand up and be counted, from time to time you may get yourself knocked down. But, a person flattened by an opponent can get up again. But a person flattened by conformity stays down for good.”

“I leave the Senate with gratitude in my heart, and optimism in the spirit of the people of Utah. I leave with no regrets. I have given every ounce of energy I possess to the work. I look forward to a few months of reflection and breath-catching. I don’t know what the world holds for me, but I can’t wait for the next great adventure.” Q

Equality Utah endorses Kitchen to replace Dabakis Political action committee Equality Utah put a call out for LGBT candidates in the race to replace Utah State Sen. Jim Dabakis, who announced his retirement from the Hill, shortly after Derek Kitchen announced his candidacy. They officially endorsed Kitchen March 16.

“For the past several years Derek has been an emerging leader in Utah’s LGBTQ, progressive and business community. He and his husband Moudi stood alongside two other couples to bring marriage equality to Utah in the landmark case, Kitchen v. Herbert,” EU’s Troy Williams wrote in a statement. “In 2015, Derek mounted a successful campaign to become the council member for Salt Lake City District 4, where he has been a persistent voice for affordable transit and sustainable urban development.”

“We were impressed by Derek’s vision for Utah Senate District 2. He passionately laid out his vision to EUPAC for successfully working within a conservative body to advance issues important to progressive Utahns,” Williams continued.

Kitchen also told the PAC he would be an advocate for education, seek to increase funding for mental health care & substance abuse treatment, defend 170

years of watershed protection, support the legalization of medical marijuana, and work to modify the Utah Inland Port Authority Act. “This endorsement was uniquely complex given that we’ve been graced with several top-notch progressive candidates, including more than one member of our LGBTQ community,” Williams wrote. “We believe that the continuity of LGBTQ representation on Capitol Hill is essential to preserving the gains of our movement. For lasting change to occur, lawmakers need to know and work alongside members of our community.”

In all, 9 people are filed for the office, according to the Utah Lieutenant Governor’s Office.

Also running as Democrats in the race are retired University of Utah political scientist Tim Chambless, pediatrician and physician Jennifer Plumb, attorney and community activist Nadia Mahallati, hairdresser and Xenia Foundation founder David Andreason, attorney Shawn Robinson, administrative assistant for neuroradiology Jessica Foard. They are joined by Republican Chase Winder, a sales representative at Qualtrics Software and unaffiliated candidate Vance Hansen, a Walmart cashier. Q

April 2018 |

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11

Issue 278 | Qsaltlake.com

One bill passes, one bill fails Utah Legislature to address suicide Two bills were recommended for passage to the Utah State Legislature by Utah Gov. Gary Herbert’s suicide task force, but only one made it through.

The Utah House soundly rejected the other.

The bill that passed, HB 370, expands the scope of suicide prevention programs in schools, increases funding for schoolbased suicide prevention programs, created grants to run the School Safety and Crisis Line, and generated funds for different suicide initiatives, including expansion of an existing mobile app. The bill is on the governor’s desk at press time.

House Bill 87, which would have required Utah doctors to regularly attend suicide prevention training to spot vulnerable patients and refer them for help, failed. The bill struggled to get through committee and only did so after a rewrite. The bill failed, however, on the House Floor in a bipartisan vote. Only Rep. Mike Kennedy, R-Alpine, spoke against the bill, saying he had “deep reservations” about foisting more requirements on professionals of any kind.

“I believe that if professionals don’t have the skills, they should go out and get them,” said Kennedy, a doctor.

Herbert formed the 14-member suicide task force in late January, which was relatively late in the game to create new legislation for this year’s session.

The task force and related legislation are a response to Utah’s fast-climbing suicide rate, which as of 2016 ranked fifth-highest in the country by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

State officials are especially worried about rates of youth suicide, which have recently grown four times faster than

the national average.

Equality Utah Executive Director Troy Williams sits on the board.

The Utah Department of Health announced last month that it would ask students their sexual orientation in its annual survey of youth risk behaviors, a move lauded by Williams, who said gathering data on students’ sexual orientation would help in determining at-risk youth and getting appropriate services to them.

“School administrators can use this data to decide what resources would best help their LGBTQ students,” Williams said. “It’s a classic case of using data for good.”

The state health department regularly conducts an anonymous student risk survey among junior high and high school youth on subjects like substance abuse and suicide. Up until 2015, the state refused to ask a student’s sexual orientation. In 2016, the state started to ask the question, but Equality Utah said the Davis School District and Cache School District refused to administer the youth risk survey. Q

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Utah Gender Identity bill fails A bill that would allow transgender people to legally change their gender identity failed to pass the Utah State Senate after an emotional debate.

Sen. Todd Weiler, R-Woods Cross, sponsored SB 138, which the trans community felt didn’t go far enough but social conservative groups like the Utah Eagle Forum felt it went too far.

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12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

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Dabakis gives 2018 Legislative Session Wrapup

A look back at some of the bills that passed and those that didn’t pass SB 140 — CAMPAIGN LIMITS. Put limitations on political campaign contributions that PACs, corporations, special interest groups, and individuals could give to one candidate. The amount of that tinnie tiny limit — drum roll — $100,000 per cycle.

Of course, it did not even get out of the Rules Committee. The legislature and the guv love their unlimited campaign contributions. NOT PASSED. SB 136 — REORGANIZED UTA MANAGEMENT AND HIKED FEES ON ENERGY-EFFICIENT VEHICLES. GOOD: this bill reformed

the horribly managed UTA. BAD: significantly raised registration fees on electric and hybrid vehicles. My floor argument that energy-saving vehicles help pollution and clean up our air was not accepted. PASSED. HB101 — TESTING DIESEL VEHICLE’S EMISSIONS. This long overdue bill will require

Utah County to create a three-year pilot program. PASSED HB 169 — COMMERCIAL WASTE FEE AMENDMENTS. A $1.7 million taxpayer gift

to EnergySolutions’ private owners. PASSED. MEDICAL MARIJUANA — Terminally ill people can get real marijuana if they are within six months of death. The real test will be the ballot initiative in November which will allow broad access to medical cannabis.

Legislature hates the ballot measure. This bill might have been intended to wipe out a few votes from the initiative. PASSED SCR 3 — MARTHA HUGHES CANNON’S STATUE will replace the one of television

inventor Philo T. Farnsworth in representing Utah in the nation’s capital. PASSED. SB 218 PLASTIC BAGS. The legislature not only refused to end plastic bags, they doubled down on support for plastic by making

it illegal for any town, city or county in Utah to ban plastic. Park City’s current ban will be overturned. Apparently, local control dies when the Koch Brothers and ALEC say jump to our state officials! PASSED SB 152 — EQUAL COMPENSATION STUDY.

This bill hoped to fund a study on whether women working in state government effectively are paid less than men. An allmale committee voted unanimously not to approve the bill. Even after a group of BYU professors offered to conduct the study for free, the legislature still rejected the idea.

They just don’t want to know. KILLED. SB 234 — SLC NORTHWEST, INLAND PORT.

The legislature, seeing a honeypot piece of property, created a super governing body to effectively annex to the state over 1/3 of the total land of Salt Lake City! The state replaced the elected mayor and city council with an unelected state junta council. The state coup could cost City schools $500 million and might turn loose devious developers on our city with dubious desires. PASSED. HB 272-FANTASY ISLAND IN UTAH LAKE. Would give developers up to 20,000 acres of state land to dredge the lake and build islands to be inhabited eventually by 250,000 to 500,000 people. That should clean up the lake. Give away the state land first — then hope for the best! PASSED HB 205-ANNUAL UNCONSTITUTIONAL ABORTION MESSAGE BILL . KILLED. HB 379/SB30 — DEATH PENALTY was not abolished, indeed the opposite, more crimes were made eligible.

SB 205 INCARCERATION REPORTING — After many unexplained deaths, even to families of the deceased, this bill would require counties and the Utah State Prison to report in-custody deaths to the state’s Commission on Criminal and Juvenile Justice. PASSED.

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April 2018

SJR 16 — Amending the Utah Constitution to do away with the horrendously ineffective State School Board and replace it with efficient governance. Passed Senate, not House.

KILLED. SB 47 — PARTIAL MEDICAID EXPANSION. Some good, with a lot of bad. It’s complicated. Stay tuned. PASSED HB 328 — WEAPONS RESTRICTIONS. Provo’s Rep. Thurston, the same man who sponsored the .05 percent DUI bill last year, wanted the .05 percent DUI to legally not affect people with guns (who can face enhancement if they are drunk). KILLED. HB136 — FEDERAL DESIGNATIONS. Would take away the right of U.S. presidents to create federal monument protection designations in Utah and instead vest the power with the Natural Resources, Agriculture and Environment Committee. It would also exempt Utah from Antiquities Act. KILLED. SB 210 — INTOXICATED DRIVING. Would have repealed the preposterous 0.05% DUI, due to take effect in December. The bill FAILED. So, the ‘Come to Utah on Vacation — Leave on Prohibition’ law will begin arresting people — who are not drunk —for DUI’s at the end of the year. KILLED.

Tax Changes Great changes if you are a manufacturing corporation — not so good if you are a poor or middle-income Utah family.

• Killed lowering of sales tax on food.

• Gave an exemption to large companies that will pay no taxes on payroll, property and total sales. Cost to Utah taxpayers — $62 million a year in tax cuts if SCOTUS, as expected, allows states to collect sales tax from online sales.

• Lowered the education fund by $80 million. Of that money, it gave certain well-connected corporations $27 million and lowered the state tax rate from 5 to 4.95 percent.

• Allowed voters to weigh in on the ballot in November if they want to raise the state gas tax by a dime a gallon to be used for education.

• The dump ‘Our Schools Now’ agreement, raised property taxes (by $53 million immediately — with more later). Gave $27 million to certain manufacturers and web portal companies with $27 million going to schools. The Utah Education Inc. groups called this a great victory for education. I call it crumbs. It might push Utah up to 49th in state spending.

April 2018 |

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 13

Issue 278 | Qsaltlake.com

Lesbian rights attorney, Ogden native Kate Kendell announces retirement Kate Kendell received her Juris Doctorate from the University of Utah College of Law in 1988, and after a few years practicing corporate law she served as the American Civil Liberties Union of Utah’s first staff attorney before joining NCLR as legal director in 1994. Kendall over the years has kept tight ties with Utah’s LGBT community — playing an impressive role in helping overturn Utah’s Amendment 3, participating in the 2016 Utah Pride Festival, and speaking at Equality Utah’s 2018 PAC Brunch — just to name a very few.

“Leading the National Center for Lesbian Rights has been the job of a lifetime,” Kendell wrote in a public goodbye letter.

“I feel extremely honored to have held this position and privileged to have experienced the countless moments of joy and awe that have forever changed our lives as LGBTQ individuals. After 22 years, with a full and grateful heart, I will step down as the executive director of NCLR at the end of this year.”

She said that she hadn’t imagined growing up to be a large role at a national LGBT legal rights organization.

“I grew up Mormon in Ogden, was the eldest of three and the first to go to college in my family. Growing up, my parents never talked politics or current events. I never saw my dad reading a book or newspaper.

We never traveled out of the country or even east of Colorado. We went on an airplane once.” she wrote.

“I could only dream of one day being a lawyer, and I was sure that my sexual orientation would make it impossible for me to get a job,” she said.

She joined NCLR as legal director in 1994 and became executive director in 1996.

“In my first weeks as executive director, I took a call from Mary Ward, a lesbian mom in Florida who had lost custody of her 8-year-old daughter based solely on her sexual orientation,” she wrote. “Nothing about Mary’s story was unusual at this point in the conversation; I had heard the same facts countless times. Then came the kicker: Mary’s ex-husband had served eight years in prison for murdering his first wife. I almost dropped the phone. An abusive murderer was deemed more fit for custody of a young girl then her lesbian mother. While our case was on appeal to the Florida Supreme Court, Mary died of a heart attack. I remember where I was when I got the call about her death as if it was yesterday.”

“Two weeks ago our victory for Suzan McLaughlin means she is a fully recognized legal parent to her 7-year-old. Suzan and her former partner were married. Her wife gave birth to their child in 2011. After

they separated in 2013, her ex would not allow Suzan to see her child. We sued to have Suzan recognized as a parent, and we won. In an e-mail to us upon hearing that her relationship with her child was secure, Suzan wrote: ‘I am so happy right now I think I’m going to burst!!’”

Last year the organization sued U.S. President Donald Trump over his move to ban transgender soldiers from military service.

“At every stage of this groundbreaking litigation we’ve won and January 1 of this year trans recruits began enlisting in our military,” she wrote.

These cases are but a snapshot of the work NCLR has done, she said.

“When now-retired San Francisco Superior Court Judge Donna Hitchens founded NCLR in 1977, she could not have imagined the impact she, and NCLR would make. Her legacy, nurtured by several other leaders before me, has allowed LGBTQ people to live openly and authentically.

Nevertheless, we all know our work is not done,” she wrote.

“The road ahead will be both challenging and filled with possibility. The needs of our community will be both pressing and complex. But you can rest assured that NCLR will be here, rising to the moment as we have for 41 years. Your continued support will ensure that we meet every challenge head-on. We have much more to do and more history to make.” Q

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UofU Health opens free PrEP clinic, only second in nation University of Utah Health has opened Salt Lake City’s first free PrEP clinic, one of only two in the nation.

HIV Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, known as PrEP or its brand name Truvada, is taken once a day with minimal side effects and has proven to be more than 90 percent effective at preventing HIV when taken as directed. At a cost of more than $15,000 a year, however, Truvada is expensive. Most health insurance plans cover the PrEP drug, but the people most at risk for acquiring HIV—young men ages 18 to 25 are the least likely to have health insurance.

UofU Health opened the volunteer-run clinic to address the resulting gap, and its model is one that could be echoed nationwide. Along with PrEP, the clinic will offer HIV testing, prevention, treatment, and counseling for sexually transmitted diseases. Patients can meet with a case manager, a pharmacist, and a medical provider during their visits. Clinic physicians will work on a volunteer basis to provide care at no cost to the patient—no bill for the visit, labs, prescriptions, or treatments.

Though Utah has a lower HIV incidence rate than most of the country, it also has the lowest rate of HIV testing in the United States, says Adam M. Spivak, MD, and Susan W. Keeshin, MD of the University of Utah Health Center’s Clinic 1A. “With the free PrEP Community Clinic, we expect to uncover new cases

of HIV among people who have never been tested before,” they said in a statement. “The clinic provides a necessary service, linking patients to HIV care and appropriate medical therapy. It will not only improve the health of these at-risk patients but also decrease the likelihood that they will spread the disease to others.”

The clinic is the culmination of an idea — more a demand — from medical student Jorgen Madsen, who came out his first year at the University of Utah School of Medicine and wanted to find ways to improve the relationship between the LGBT community and health care providers. He scheduled a brainstorming session with Spivak, an infectious diseases physician and researcher at the UofU School of Medicine who was known to be an LGBT ally, to find what could be done to show support to Madsen’s still-closeted classmates. How could they reduce stigmas and false ideas? How could established and up-and-coming doctors become better educated about the concerns of a young gay man worried about the threat of HIV? With Keeshin, an assistant professor of pediatrics and HIV specialist, and Ben Holdaway, a community activist formerly with the Utah AIDS Foundation, Spivak and Madsen conceptualized a free PrEP clinic that would allow Utahns at risk of HIV to bypass the traditional health care system of insurance approvals, doctor referrals and billing. At-risk individuals

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include all those who have unprotected sex and people who inject drugs and share needles.

“Utah can get a bad rap, but in some ways, it’s almost not fair,” Madsen said.

“There’s a lot of support here, a lot of loving and caring people who want to serve but don’t know how.”

The free PrEP Clinic launch coincided with Quiet Heroes, a documentary film that debuted at the 2018 Sundance Film Festival that showed the early impact of the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Utah and the nation. Infectious diseases and HIV specialist Kristin Ries, MD, and her medical assistant Maggie Snyder, PA-C, were on the frontlines of HIV treatment during the height of Utah’s AIDS epidemic in the 1980s and 1990s. When fear and discrimination were running rampant, they were the first medical providers in the Mountain West region to open their doors and care for AIDS and HIV patients. They treated more than 90 percent of people with HIV in Utah.

After establishing a comprehensive HIV program with Holy Cross Hospital, Ries and Snyder opened the AIDS/HIV clinic at the University of Utah in 1994.

They brought 500 patients from Holy Cross with them, quadrupling the patient volume at the U’s Infectious Disease Clinic, Clinic 1A. Clinic 1A was recognized as one of the nation’s top university HIV programs, as well as one with the lowest hospitalization rate.

“A positive HIV diagnosis remains devastating in spite of modern treatment methods because of the stigma associated with the disease,” Spivak and Keeshin wrote. “Our hope is that opening this free PrEP clinic will help both assuage the stigma and prevent new incidence of the disease. If that proves successful — over a period of 18-24 months — we hope to see it applied as a model for community-based HIV prevention elsewhere in the country.” Q The clinic is at the University of Utah Health Redwood Health Center, 1525 W. 2100 South, on Saturday mornings. Their number is 801-585-2512 to schedule an appointment. The clinic is on Instagram at slcprep, and Facebook at prepslc

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A sneak peak at the Utah Pride Festival The Utah Pride Festival is shaping up.

Here is a tentative schedule, so you can make your plans and save the dates:

PRIDE INTERFAITH SERVICE May 31, 2018

PRIDE SPECTACULAR The Utah Pride Center celebrates the past, present, and future of our beautifully diverse community and as they recognize the recipients of the Dr. Kristen Ries Community Service Award and the Pete Suazo Political Action Award.

Fri., June 1 | 6–9:30pm, Union Event Center 235 N. 500 West

PETE SUAZO POLITICAL ACTION AWARD Established in 2002 in honor of Sen. Pete Suazo’s tireless attempts to pass Hate Crimes legislation in Utah, paired with his continual efforts to remind the Utah State Legislature of the great diversity found in our state. This award is presented to an elected Utah official (past or present) who has demonstrated an exceptional commitment to equal rights for the LGBTQ+ community of Utah through legislation, policy, and/or declaration.

DR. KRISTEN RIES COMMUNITY SERVICE AWARD Established in 1987 this award was first presented to Dr. Kristen Ries for her humanitarian efforts in dealing with the AIDS crisis, and forever named in her honor. This award recognizes outstanding service to the greater lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community in Utah, and is given to an individual(s) who are dedicated to continuing that legacy of service. Those who receive this award are role models for Utah’s LGBTQ+

community, and like Dr. Kristen Ries, “exemplify everything that the award has stood for: compassion, leadership, and courage.”

Tickets and nominations for the awards at utahpridecenter.org/festival — nomination deadline is April 21.

YOUTH PRIDE Fri., June 1 | 8–11pm, on Festival grounds at Washington Square, Enter at 500 S and State.

OUTDOORS AND PROUD 5K In addition to the race, they will have yoga in the Peace Gardens, fitness challenges, volleyball in the park and other healthy lifestyle activities. To guarantee we have a shirt in your size, register by May 21st. Online registration/$40 at utahpridecenter.org/festival or onsite registration/$45.

Sat., June 2 | 8–11am, Jordan Park and Peace Gardens, 1060 S. 900 West

PRIDE MARCH AND RALLY June 2 | 1–3pm The rally starts at the south Capitol steps, and the march begins at approximately 1:45 p.m., south on State Street to South Temple, east to 200 East, south to 400 South — disband at Utah Pride Festival grounds.

UTAH PRIDE FESTIVAL Sat., June 2 | 1–10pm, Sun., June 3 | 11am–7pm On Festival Grounds at Washington Square

PRIDE SPEAKERS AND FILMS Sat., June 2 | 2–9pm, Sun., June 3 | 1–5pm Salt Lake City Public Library 210 E. 400 South

UTAH PRIDE PARADE Sun., June 3 | 10am–Noon Parade route: 200 S. West Temple to 400 East

UPC Pride Spectacular tix on sale now It is crazy to think that the Utah Pride Festival is less than three months away — but it is. And in true Pride fashion, the Utah Pride Center will kick off Utah’s premier LGBTQ+ celebration with the 3rd annual Pride Spectacular to be held Friday, June 1.

Not only is the Pride Spectacular a fun event full of Utah’s most supportive LGBTQ+ community members and allies, but it’s also a party with a purpose. One hundred percent of the proceeds from the Pride Spectacular underwrite the life-saving programs of the Utah Pride Center.

If you are interested in sponsoring this one-of-a-kind celebration, please email

Mike Aguilar at mikea@markmiller.com.

If you are unable to sponsor, but would still like to attend, you can buy your tickets at utahpridecenter.org/ events/#pride-spectacular Ticket prices increase on April 1.

The Utah Pride Center is committed to creating events for everyone, regardless of financial circumstance. If you or someone you know needs financial assistance to attend Pride Spectacular, please fill out this short application.

This event has sold out for the past two years. So, don’t wait, purchase your tickets today.

GAY WRITES

A DiverseCity Series writing group A program of Salt Lake Community College’s Community Writing Ctr. The group meets the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month, 6:30-8 pm, Salt Lake City Library Square, 210 E. 400 South, Ste. 8, Salt Lake.

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Q mmunity

Ben McAdams, Dr. Kristin Ries and Maggie Snyder to host Utah Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce annual Gay-La Headliners for the Utah Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce annual “Gay-La)” is Salt Lake County Mayor Ben McAdams. Mayor McAdams has been a great ally of the LGBT community in the Utah State Senate, Salt Lake City Government and now as mayor of Utah’s largest coun-

hors d’oeuvres,and a cash bar and reduced membership opportunities for those interested in joining the chamber. Dress is “Party.

The UGLCC Gay-La is Thursday, April 5, from 6–9 p.m. at the Cottonwood Country Club, 1780 E Lakewood Drive, in Holladay. Tickets are $15 Prepaid / $25 after March 29, on line at utahgaychamber.com.

OTHER EVENTS SPONSORED BY THE CHAMBER FOR THE NEXT MONTH ARE:

ty, Salt Lake County. He is currrently a candidate for the US Congress in Utah’s Fourth District.

Joining him are, Dr. Kristen Ries & Maggie Snyder, well known as the pioneers in treatment of HIV and related medical issues in the Utah Medical community. There were they were recently featured in the Sundance Film, “Quiet Heroes”. Chad Anderson, LGBT therapist and author who will speak to the evolution of hate crimes surrounding our local community.

The evening will include music featuring the Tribeca Ensemble, hosted

March 29 — Stepup Lunch and Learn 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the Sandy Area Chamber of Commerce Offices 35 E. 9270 South. Topic: Social Media Tips and Tricks presented by Juliet Dillon-Clark April 19th — Third Thursday Breakfast at 7:30 – 9 a.m. The Chocolate Conspiracy 774 S 300 West in Salt Lake City April 26th — Step Up Business Series at 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. at Salt Lake Community College Miller Campus, 9750 S 300 West, Sandy. Topic: Getting Your Business Online with Google presented by Oogle Media’s Cole Ashby and Dave Smith

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Sexual fluidity at work The Fluidly Speaking Discussion Group tackles sexual fluidity in the workplace.

Most of us must work to live, and yet workplaces are too often unsafe spaces for LGBTQ+-identified folks. Even at companies or nonprofits that tout a “queer-friendly” workplace, too often sexually fluid folks are invisibilized, marginalized, erased, and/or actively discriminated against.

But it’s not all bad, organizers say.

“We can also envision and work toward a better world both in and out of work, one that doesn’t force queer folks into (or out of) potentially-unsafe or unhealthy work environments. What can we dream of and how can we get there?”

The discussion can focus around the following: pros, cons and experiences of “coming out” as sexually fluid in the workplace; differences and similarities to coming out as gay or trans; policies that affect the sexually fluid; how to advocate for greater acceptance and inclusivity of sexually fluid folks in the workplace; etc.

Monday, March 26 at 7:30 – 9 p.m., Salt Lake City Public Library, second-floor conference room, 210 E 400 South. Q

More information on the Chamber can be seen at UtahGayChamber.com or on Facebook at facebook.com/ utahgaychamber. Q

Former Salt Lake Affirmation leader John Cooper dies John Cooper, who was active in the early days of Salt Lake’s gay community, died Wednesday morning of pancreatic cancer.

He was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer in early February and announced he likely had days, not weeks, to live. He had surgery for bladder cancer in 2016.

Cooper was a behind-the-scenes supporter of many LGBT organizations in the early 80s and was president of Salt

Lake Affirmation, a group for gay and lesbian Mormons, from 1982 to 1986 when he left the state to take a job with Intel.

He and Alma Smith stepped up to revive the local Affirmation affiliate after it had gone dormant for lack of leadership.

He grew up on a dairy farm in Dietrich, Idaho and was valedictorian of his graduating class and took to science at an early age with special interests in astronomy/ cosmology, electronics and chemistry. He served as a first lieutenant in the army during the Vietnam war in the Chemical Corps.

His ashes will be placed next to his parents’ graves in the Logan Cemetery.

Alternative Garden Club to hear of this year’s exciting plants Thom Sawyer of Millcreek Gardens will show the Alternative Garden Club some new and exciting plants for this year at the next meeting, and they will have a raffle to give some away. The meeting is Wednesday, April 4 at 7:30 p.m. at the Garden Center building at Sugar House Park, 21st South and 13th East.

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Four-part series by ‘Changing Our Stories’ podcast explores ‘LGBT Off the Grid’ Podcast Changing Our Stories and Utah Public Radio finished a four-part series in March, LGBTQ Off the Grid, with a feature on Heidi and Phil Berry and their son Abram, who created what they call Rainbow Mutual, a play on the Mormon Church program for teens.

“I am quite proud Andrea Smardon of the wordplay,” Abram says in the interview. “It’s the bringing together of very contrasting ideas. It’s a fun juxtaposition of my two worlds.”

Interviewer and executive producer Andrea Smardon talks to the Berrys and Dave Jensen, who has one transgender son and one son coming out.

Episode 3 featured Brigham City transgender woman MacKenzie Quinn Jetton, who identifies also as a witch.

“Just because I’m a witch doesn’t mean that I spend my days studying ancient tomes and brewing cauldrons. I have

a regular life; I have regular needs, I have regular desires, regular hopes,” said Jetton. “I call myself a witch for a very specific reason. Honestly, it’s for the same reason I refer to myself as queer. Because it’s a word that historically has had a lot of negative implications… .”

Jetton said she is reclaiming that transgressive heritage and turning it into something that’s positive, that’s empowering. For her being drawn to the transgressive doesn’t mean being drawn to evil, it means exploring what is not acceptable in society.

“As a trans woman my whole life is transgressive,” she added.

Other episodes featured two-spirit Navajo Moroni Benally, and formerly homeless Randy Thomson who started Youth Advocates of Southern Utah..

The series was made possible by the LGBTQ Community Endowment Fund, the USU Center for Women and Gender, and the USU Access & Diversity Center. Q These full podcasts and other LGBTQ Utah stories (“Making a Home” and “Missionary to Drag Queen”) can be heard at changingourstories.org

Our 30th year of making customers happy!

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quotes “No matter who he is paired with (though it’s usually Jonathan), Tan makes that person seem better, funnier, smarter, or cooler because he is game to bring out the best in everyone while still serving a little bit of his own bitchy glimmer.”

— writer Brian Moylan, Vulture, on the personality of Queer Eye’s Tan France

“Nighttime prayer: Lord grant me the accent of Tan, the compassion of Karamo, the beauty of Antoni, the talent of Bobby, and the Jonathan of Jonathan.”

— tweeted Aj @ queer_aj

“I saw Tan from Queer Eye on 5th Ave., and I almost passed from this life.”

— tweeted sadvegan1994 @ palladions

“Sometimes love bites, but after you’re done screaming and shouting, it gets a ‘lil better. Snakes, I’m on you.”

— SLC’s queer pop-punker deelanZ, on his new song “Snake in the Grass”

“LGBT and (same-sex-at-

tracted) students don’t only exist at the BYU, they belong at BYU.”

— Liza Holdaway, co-vice president of Understanding Same Gender Attraction, at a rare BYU-sanctioned event

“I want to throw up and then I want to go to the judges and just ask ‘can I have a Xanax?’”

— figure skater Adam Rippon, on stepping out on the Olympic ice

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who’s your daddy

TAX TIME FEEL SAFE AND CONFIDENT

20 years in the making

What a

Gay owned and operated.

Filing individual, business, estate and trust returns

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

difference 20 years makes. Just look at LGBT rights in the 1990s compared to today. Back then, signed into law was the Defense of Marriage Act. So was the DADT military policy. But 20 years later, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality, and Congress repealed DADT — paving the way for President Obama to allow LGBT people to serve openly in the armed forces.

In 1997 another change was underway: New Jersey became the first state to allow gay couples to adopt. In 2016, a federal judge ruled a Mississippi ban on gay couple adoption was unconstitutional, and with his ruling, finally made parenthood an option for gay couples in all 50 states and the District of Columbia.

A big part of the changes in LGBT rights is the result of shifting attitudes.

That’s true with adoption as well. According to a survey sponsored by Adam & Eve — yes, the nation’s largest marketer of adult products, 73 percent of Americans now support same-sex couple adoption.

What I found interesting about the results is that gay parents enjoyed impressive support from their fellow Americans across genders, geographies, incomes, and education. Women favor the idea more than men, 79 percent to 67 percent, while fully one-in-five men don’t dig the idea of two dads or moms at all.

The most considerable support comes from younger people. Nearly 82 percent of people 18 to 29 years old are in favor of gay adoptive parents. That’s not all that surprising. According to John Francis, Ph.D., a research professor of political science at the University of Utah (and one of my former professors), “The best predictors of acceptance for this type of survey tend to be age — younger people are more supportive of adoptions by same-sex couples.”

It extends beyond just adoption, of course. We see overall acceptance of LGBT rights among younger people.

Dr. Francis added, “The real surprise is support among younger Evangelicals and younger blacks, who are much more supportive than in the past. Among the LDS, younger Mormons are more supportive than older LDS identifiers.”

This acceptance by younger African Americans and Evangelicals may have tipped the results in favor of gay parents in regions where it didn’t fare as well, like Kentucky, Tennessee, Alabama, and Mississippi. Younger Mormons may also be behind the nearly 70 percent support rate among respondents in the Mountain West.

In spite of the impressive polling numbers and a very credible error rate of just 2 percent, we can’t discount the fact that the sample size of 1,000 adults is small.

Is asking about 20 people in each state — sometimes more, sometimes less — indicative of the population as a whole?

Moreover, does gathering the responses digitally skew the results?

Dr. Francis reminded me that the most respected survey analysis on same-gender families comes from the Williams Institute at UCLA. They dig far deeper than a single question and take years to unearth verifiable trends.

But I still see the results of this Adam & Eve-sponsored survey as encouraging.

They didn’t poll their customers, whom you’d expect to be more liberal, and the anonymity provided through digital responses may make respondents more honest than a live or telephone survey.

Is this survey up to the standards of the Williams Institute? Probably not. But it doesn’t have to be. It provides us with a valuable glimpse into how gay-parent adoption is positively viewed by the general public, and that’s what’s important.

As Dr. Francis noted, “Overall, the trends demonstrate that acceptance is on the rise and may be here to stay.” It’s only been 20 years in the making. Q Thanks to Adameve.com.

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lambda lore

Student, women’s, and leather groups formed in 1980s Utah

BY BEN WILLIAMS

One of the

oldest LGBT support groups in Utah was the Lesbian and Gay Student Union at the University of Utah, now known as the Queer Student Union. In September 1983, the president of LGSU, Michael Aaron, with Wes Jolley, asked for and was granted funding for the first time by the Associated Students of the University of Utah Assembly after being denied similar requests the prior two years. LGSU received only $100 out of the $6,000 requested; however, the money marked the first official recognition of the group by the university’s student government.

The leaders of LGSU during the school year 1983–84, as did Affirmation a few years before, had guest speakers such as Utah Senators Frances Farley and Terry Williams. Farley was campaigning for a seat in Congress at the time. Other speakers were John Meng, from the Gay Helpline and Byron Haslem, a state health department official addressing AIDS in the community. They also co-sponsored, with KRCL, two concerts featuring popular women music songwriters and singers.

In the fall Cris Williamson and Tret Fure came to Kingsbury Hall, and in the spring Teresa Trull and Barbara Higbee, who had just released an album called Unexpected, held a concert on campus.

First Gay and Lesbian Conference More importantly, on March 25–31, 1984, LGSU sponsored the first Gay and Lesbian Conference at the University.

The theme was “Reaching Out,” and Dr. Don Clark was brought in as the keynote speaker. Dr. Clark was the author of Loving Someone Gay and Living Gay. A drag show called “Kelley’s Broadway Revue,” held in the Union Theater, was the first openly gay drag show on campus. After the keynote by Dr. Clark, on March 30 the first AIDS Candlelight Vigil in Utah was held.

The Daily Utah Chronicle, which had been very supportive of the LGBT community in the 1970s, refused to cover any of the events and only ran one article regarding the conference. Most, if not all, the LGSU posters on campus were torn down, and KUTV’s Take 2 interviews were canceled for no apparent reason by the station. The conference, however, received news coverage on KTVX Channel 4 and was the top Utah News story in USA Today. The conference was funded in part

by John Cooper, director of Salt Lake Affirmation, who never was paid back after it lost money. He forgave the debt because of all the good the conference achieved.

Perhaps the most significant event that came out of the first conference was when people were contacted by representatives from a student organization in Las Vegas. On March 31, 1984, Eve Goldman, Scott Mills, and Duane Dawson formed a committee to attend the next year’s Gay and Lesbian Desert and Mountain States Conference in Las Vegas.

Mike Loewy, president of the Lesbian and Gay Academic Union at the University of Nevada in Las Vegas, founded the Desert and Mountain States Conference.

Loewy was contacted by a gay man in Phoenix, who had learned about human rights seminars sponsored by LGBT students of the University of Arizona.

Loewy learned that Phoenix was doing the same thing and another group in Albuquerque, called Common Bond, was doing something similar. It was suggested everyone get together to sponsor a full Southwest conference on LGBT activism and develop leadership within the LGBT community. Loewy then contacted participants from Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, Wyoming, and Utah. It was decided to hold the first conference in Las Vegas because the Lesbian and Gay Academic Union had a strong presence on a university campus, which no other group involved had at the time.

20 Rue Jacob, Women Aware Within the women’s community, Women Aware and 20 Rue Jacob, commonly called the Rue, a type of women’s community center and coffee shop at 228 E. 800 South, were the dominant players.

Today the location of the Rue is the west building of a sandwich shop called Moochies. Women Aware meetings and activities were held primarily at the Rue. While 20 Rue Jacob was mainly a community space for Women Aware and other women’s groups, Metropolitan Community Church and LGSU often held joint social gatherings in the space.

Michael Aaron stated that as a student he used to go to the coffee shop located in the Rue all the time and said he was accepted there as a male as he was “tiny and non-threatening.” He also stated, “I have great memories of that place. They taught me to put a pinch of cinnamon in the grounds while making coffee. I don’t think it was open long. I and whomever I brought were often the only paying customers there.”

At the beginning of 1984, a bookstore and coffee shop was operated to keep 20 Rue Jacob afloat by the proprietors. A lesbian mother’s support group, a child abuse survivors support group, and a support group for lesbians over the age of 30 held meetings at the Rue. However, low attendance was always a factor in the survival of the Rue. On April 3, 1984, only seven women attended a Women Aware meeting that set off a morale problem among leadership. Discussions that if the Rue closed, Women Aware and other women functions would be homeless. In the May issue of the Women Aware newsletter, it was lamented how the women’s community was dwindling due to lack of support. On May 8, 1984, Women Aware held a meeting to determine if it would continue. It was voted to disband, and on June 1, 1984, 20 Rue Jacob closed its doors.

It was the end of an era.

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The specialty group for lesbians “over 30” and “wishful thinkers” continued to meet at private residences after the closure of the Rue, “to discuss, argue, and laugh.” The group became Older and Wiser Lesbians, known as OWLS. In May 1984, OWL began to organize outdoor activities such as camping, fishing, and rafting, and indoor get-togethers such as potluck dinners, bowling on Sunday mornings at the Ritz Bowling Lanes, sing-a-longs, and rap sessions.

Out of OWL was formed a group of women motorcycle enthusiasts called WOW, Women on Wheels.

members. They sponsored campouts and a motorcycle run called “Falcon Flight,” as the falcon was the symbol of the organization. It was an exclusively male organization with a clubhouse and sex dungeon in the basement.

Another leather club organized in 1984, the Salt Lake Chapter of the Knights of Malta, by Lee Trinka, Emperor IX of the Royal Court. This adult social club was dedicated to community service and “having a good time while doing it.” The Salt Lake Chapter was open to both men and women. The group was loosely associated with the Royal Court and held its meetings at Leather groups the gay bars. Every Labor Day Weekend the other chapters In addition to Women on of the Knights held a “conWheels, the Wasatch Leather clave” at a member’s chapter. and Motorcycle Club formed Nationally, the Folsom Street in September 1984, to create Fair in San Francisco became a leatherman’s community MillcreekGardens2018.pdf 1 2/12/2018 2:26:01 PMheavily influenced by these in Salt Lake City. It was chapters of the Knights of organized at the Deerhunter Malta. Q bar with 11 men as founding

First Wednesdays at the Marmalade Branch Salt Lake City Public Library 280 W 500 N Info at bit.ly/UGHS_Lecture Read ‘This Day in Gay Utah History’ at benwilliamsblogger.blogspot.com

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creep of the month

Betsy DeVos

BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI

On Twitter

the thing I probably write most often is “Betsy DeVos is a monster” in reply to stories about her.

Now, if you don’t know much about DeVos, you might be thinking, “Okay, I get that you don’t agree with her policies, but she’s not an actual monster.”

To which I say, “Oh, she is.”

After all, one of the worst things a person can do is to hurt children. And DeVos hurts children like it’s her job.

Because it is.

Or, instead, that’s what she’s chosen to do as the Secretary of Education, under Donald Trump.

Granted, she’s not physically hurting kids. But she doesn’t seem particularly interested in stopping kids from being

injured — or killed for that matter.

After the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Florida, I couldn’t help but notice how totally absent DeVos was. In particular, because the students there became household names fighting for gun control and refusing to be acceptable collateral damage in this country’s obsession with guns.

True, DeVos did visit the school, but the students said she basically “pet a dog and left,” referencing the therapy dogs that had been brought to campus to help the grieving students and faculty return to school.

To most people, the idea of guns in school is entirely insane. The vast majority of Americans are like, “GTFO with that.”

But not DeVos. “[Teachers having guns in the classroom] should be an option for states and communities to consider,” she told Lesley Stahl during a 60 Minutes interview.

And I hesitate to think of, like, my firstgrade teacher, Mrs. Zorhoff; I couldn’t ever imagine her having a gun and being trained in that way. But for those who are

— who are capable, this is one solution that can and should be considered. But no one size fits all. Every state and every community is going to address this issue in a different way.”

To which DeVos sadly did not add, “And since anyone who supports such a thing has no business having anything to do with schools, I hereby resign on national TV.” When Stahl asked DeVos what she’s actually doing about gun violence, DeVos said she’s going to “head up a task force,” which is corporate speak for “Nothing.”

Stahl asked DeVos what accomplishments she’s most proud of as Ed Secretary, and DeVos said, “We’ve begun looking at, and rolling back, a lot of the overreach of the federal government in education.”

And while “overreach” sounds terrible, the things DeVos has been working to roll back include the Obama administration’s guidance for restroom use by transgender students, which dared suggest that trans students be allowed to use the restroom that corresponds with their gender identity.

DeVos also wanted to remind Obama guidance on “discriminatory discipline,” which is the problem of significant disparities in the severity and frequency of discipline dished out to white and black students. When Stahl asked if this was an example of institutional racism, Devos basically shrugged it off.

She’s also revamped the Title IX guidelines for handling college sexual assault.

As CBS News puts it, “She’s allowing colleges to require stronger evidence from accusers, and give the accused a greater benefit of the doubt.”

Imagine that, a Trump Administration official who thinks that sexual assault victims have it too easy when it comes to reporting their assaults.

During the interview, Stahl asked DeVos why people hate her so much.

“I’m more misunderstood than anything,” she replied.

Huh. If she thinks she’s misunderstood, imagine how being a transgender student who needs to use the bathroom feels.

Did I mention that DeVos is a monster? Q D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBT politics for over a decade. Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.

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the yodeler

Selfie Animalia Part 3: The Woodland Spectrum

So, we’ve

BY RYAN HAYMORE

discussed crocodiles and fish, and I hope we’ve had our eyes opened to see exactly how different selfies can be in this new lexicon known as the Selfie Animalia. Just as expansive as the animal kingdom is, the lexicon of selfies is not a bit different. The Aquatic Spectrum is more substantial and will be revisited later; however, today we’re navigating the Woodland Spectrum. We’re talking blank stares, fluffed hair, and even fluffier butts.

To start, the marmot is an animal that’s known for its shrill call. It’s often referred to as the “screaming marmot”.

When the marmot lurches upward to scream, it makes an entire body-flexing movement. Thus, the Straining Marmot is a selfie-taker who lurches their body upward to an awkward level of erectness.

When they snap that selfie, they’re straining every muscle to sell the optics of muscular definition and muscle girth.

The Straining Marmot selfie-taker doesn’t usually have a slender physique but just enough muscle to sell such a visual with full-body flexing.

While this selfie type may capture a muscular, bulging optic, the selfie-taker may need to examine their britches — being a sexually active gay man for the last seven years, I can safely say that I know sphincters. Also, many of my female friends have had babies. And I know that no sphincter or urethra (male, female, gay, or straight) can take the pressure of a Straining Marmot selfie for too long.

Snap that picture quickly because you’re on a speedway track to passing gas, rupturing something, or making milk duds in your pants.

While the Straining Marmot embellishes a muscular physique, the Hoot Owl embellishes something more fibrous. As an owl fluffs its feathers when it’s cold, scared, or attracting a mate, the Hoot Owl selfie-taker fluffs, flips, and gets their hair to picture-perfect condition before capturing a selfie. Not everyone has a natural Shakira-esque volume or Jason Mamoa-esque placement; however, the Hoot Owl selfie-taker makes sure their hair is like a blossoming crown before they snap their picture.

This selfie holds no risks of obvious discovery except only to those who are watching you prepare. Onlookers might ponder if you’re getting your hair ready for a selfie, checking for ticks, or shaking out the residuals of demonic possession.

While the Hoot Owl fluffs their hair, the Twisty Squirrel arches their back, flexes their thighs, and hoists their butt into further existence for a selfie of big-ass proportions.

The Twisty Squirrel selfie-taker sucks in their stomach, twists their lower back to an impossible degree, and pushes their butt out with every ounce of strength at their lower lumbar’s disposal! This selfie may appear uncomfortable; that’s because it is.

Now, I’m a twink; therefore, before I was a crocodile selfie-taker I was a Twisty Squirrel swiveling my butt to

make every bear drool, every otter double-take, and every other twink know that the Queen had landed. Regardless of how much of a gymnastic feat this selfie style is, the Twisty Squirrel gives a perfect silhouette of a tight waist, chiseled shape, and a butt that Jesus would’ve used to serve fish with after his sermon on the mount.

Whether you’re straining out a veiny, muscular snap, capturing a hair selfie worthy of Vogue, or making that derriere peekaboo like the Keebler

elf at a Girl Scout cookie convention, these three selfie types are sure to bring all the boys to the yard and have the milkshake blenders overheating. Flex those muscles, fluff that hair, and perch that butt like it could nest a family of bald eagles. This year we’re getting so extra selfie that Tarzan could swing from the sexual tension within our Facebook threads. After all, it’s our ability to irresponsibly ignore our lack of control that separates us from the animals. Q

“The best advertising I do” —JAY HALLSTROM

pages Get in the 2018 directory of Utah’s LGBT-friendly businesses today by calling 801-997-9763 or emailing sales@qsaltlake.com

24 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A

Salt Lake’s own style master and new Fab 5 member talks fame, fashion, and finding a home.

BY JOSHUA ADAMSON-PICKETT

Life for

Salt Lake City resident Tan France has been, to put it lightly, thrilling.

Since this year’s debut of Netflix’s Queer Eye, Tan — one of the show’s “Fab 5” life coaches for style-inept men — spends a lot of his time traveling between Los Angeles, New York, and Salt Lake.

Queer Eye — a reboot of the 2003 series Queer Eye for the Straight Guy — has been a stellar hit with audiences across the globe. And within weeks, Tan has gone from Salt Lake and Instagram fashion big-name to international media darling.

He’s met Jon Bon Jovi who asked for a selfie. He’s attended Elton John’s Oscar Party and kicked it with Saturday Night Live’s Pete Davidson. He’s Facetimed with Gigi Hadid and exchanged tweets with Chrissy Teigen.

But don’t expect Tan to be packing up for a permanent residence in Hollywood PHOTO BY DAVID DANIELS, DAVD.PHOTO

Qsaltlake.com |

anytime soon. He’s happiest here in Salt Lake with his husband and friends and prefers the slow-paced Utah lifestyle.

Tan, who hails from London and has Pakistani heritage, talked to me about being recognized on the street, his favorite things about Utah and which Fab 5 member he’d need the most help from.

How long have you lived in Utah? I have been living temporarily in Utah for about 10 years, and for the last four years, I’ve lived here permanently.

Do you get recognized a lot in Utah since Queer Eye debuted? At this point, it doesn’t matter where we go. There aren’t that many people of color in Salt Lake, so I definitely get recognized more here than anywhere else. On the whole, it’s lovely. But sometimes when they scream my name it scares the crap out of me.

Other than that, it’s been amazing.

Could the show work here? Absolutely, it could. I’m desperately trying to convince them, if we do get to do more seasons, to do one in Utah. Because I think it would be incredible.

I could see the Fab Five take Salt Lake City. Actually, I wouldn’t want to do Salt Lake. Salt Lake’s liberal enough. I would

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want to go to Heber or Provo. Actually, Provo is too big. I’d want to do it in, like, Pleasant Grove.

That’s where I grew up! Oh really? I love Pleasant Grove. I worked there for a couple of years. My favorite thing about Pleasant Grove is that people assume I’m Mexican. And even when I’m speaking in my very firm English accent, they slow down as if I don’t speak English.

That is hilarious and not at all surprising having grown up there. Pleasant Grove can be very strange. There are definitely other places I would like to go. If we got seasons five, six, seven, I would love to do an international version. I would love to go to countries where they don’t have exposure to gay men like we do in the West and open some minds.

I’ve heard you talk about how much you love Utah. What is it that you love so much? There are so many things. I have the best friends I could dream of — people I’ve known since I met my husband.

They’re the people

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who make this home for me.

I love the fact that we have seasons.

And the people are just the nicest I’ve ever come across. Life is so easy and the people are so friendly. And they treat me extra nice because — even way before the show — people around here love Brits. As soon as I speak, they just want to be my friend, and that’s so lovely.

It’s definitely quiet, and it’s a much easier life than Hollywood or New York.

I learned recently that you have a strong fan base among liberal-minded Mormon women. Yes! I’ve known that for many years. I created a couple of modest clothing brands for the LDS community. It was different from what was offered by the other modest clothing brands in Utah.

So I’ve known for a long time about that fan base. They want to be friends, they’re very liberal, they understand my life and they’re very happy about it. And almost every one of my closest friends is LDS, and that makes me very happy.

The show has resonated strongly with people. It’s taken off in a way that I haven’t really seen before. It’s the most real show I’ve ever seen, and I’m not just saying that because I’m on it. We don’t reshoot anything. We are five very opinionated men, and we say what we want when we want. And we’re offering an insight into our little world that nobody’s seen before.

The only version you see of our community is stereotypical and doesn’t depict us particularly well.

In this current [political] climate, it’s shock and disbelief. So to have a space where we’re able to show that we are still people, that we have similarities and that we can come together and love each other and be friends. I think that’s revolutionary.

There are so many things [I love about Salt Lake]. I have the best friends I could dream of — people I’ve known since I met my husband. They’re the people who make this home for me. I love the fact that we have seasons. And the people are just the nicest I’ve ever come across. Life is so easy and the people are so friendly. lighted a closeness between men — regardless of sexuality — that you don’t often see. How does that feel? The majority of people who stop me and ask to talk to me are straight men. They tell me how they never thought they would watch a show like this, and somebody convinced them to watch. And now they feel comfortable enough to say to their partners, their wives or their family, “I want to be the best version of myself.”

And they’ve been given permission by these five gay men who are saying, “You can be curious about skin care. You can be curious about wanting to be a better husband. You can be curious about how to be a better husband by dressing up in a certain way or by cooking for her.”

We gave them permission to ask questions and to be more curious about bettering their life. We’re not chastising them for wanting to be better, for wanting

to change their lives. We’re showing them that it’s okay, we want them to be the best version of themselves.

We know that our culture encourages you to be macho. We show you a different version of that. That’s why I think it works so well.

I heard you say in another interview, “If you can’t take care of yourself, how the heck are you going to take care of everyone around you?” Was that a RuPaul’s Drag Race reference? Okay, I know our community is going to hate me for this. I’ve never seen an episode of Drag Race.

You’re just on the same page. I’m just as fabulous as RuPaul, actually.

More fabulous. Why do you think that having good style and taking care of your clothes is important? I’m glad you asked that because I’ve never seen style or fashion as superficial. I know it’s just something on your body, but it can affect how you feel about yourself. Most importantly, it’s a sign of respect for your partner and the people around you.

I mentioned in the Bobby [Camp] episode that I was once dumped by my first boyfriend after many years because I let myself go. It was a major eyeopener because it reminded me that me making an effort isn’t just about me. It’s not a vanity thing. It’s showing my partner that I’m there

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26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A

for them, that I respect them. I should show that I’m willing to step up and be there for them. And that’s not just about clothes. That’s in every facet of my life.

So I do think it’s important that people make an effort to dress appropriately for whichever situation they’re in because it’s not just about them.

What advice would you give men who want to start their wardrobe? The most important thing for men — and this is based on what I saw when rummaging through literally every hero’s wardrobe — is that they’re all wearing the wrong size.

Find out what your size is. Go to a PHOTO BY DAVID DANIELS, DAVD.PHOTO

Qsaltlake.com |

store, try something on and make sure that shoulder seam is on your shoulder — unless you’re having a fashion moment and you want to wear it dropped. If it’s at your elbow, it is not your size. It really is simple.

If you are worried about it, if you have any doubt, there are salespersons there for a reason and most of them will know how to help you with finding the right size.

And there are many things that can be added to a capsule wardrobe that should stand the test of time, for at least ten years. I like a dark suit that’s very simple but incredibly well-tailored to your body. I’m not saying a custom suit — it can be a really inexpensive suit that you’ve had tailored to make sure it fits you to perfection. That’s good for weddings, funerals or any other occasion.

I also think every man needs a great pair of black Oxfords or brogues. They will be appropriate for a formal occasion.

Next, a great pair of jeans. A great pair of jeans can make or break a look. Don’t go for a boot cut pair of jeans — they don’t suit many people. Go for either straight leg, if you don’t want to go for

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April 2018

skinny, or skinny if you feel like you want to try something cooler.

If you’re worried and you’re in doubt, all you’ve got to do is put on your great pair of jeans, a great white or black tee and a great jacket, and you’re good to go.

If you had a “make better” moment yourself, which of the other Fab 5 guys would you need the most help from? I would say design, but I did just design my home all myself, and I think it’s gorgeous, so I’m not going to say interior design. And as far as grooming, I’m obsessed with grooming. I have been my whole life.

Jonathan [Van Ness] does a great job with our heroes, but I definitely don’t feel I’d [need his help] personally.

I’m going to say cooking. Antoni [Porowski] cooks incredibly well. He cooks for me most nights because we live in the same apartment block. We don’t really go out to bars or clubs, so we spend a lot of time together in the evenings. I do cook Indian food incredibly well. I love Indian food, and it’s what I was raised on. But I don’t cook non-Indian food super well, so that’s the one area [I would need help with].

Is there anything you’d like to say especially for the QSaltLake audience and Utah LGBTQ community? I hear a lot of negativity toward the boys who are coming out of the [LDS Church] and identify as gay and who toe the line between their Mormon upbringing and their gay life. I don’t love how we chastise them. I don’t love how we make them feel bad for it, and how we won’t date them because they’re going through such a hard time.

My husband was going through that, and we’ve been in a relationship for ten years. It turned out to be wonderful, and it is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had. Don’t discredit somebody just because they’re having a hard time finding a balance between their religion and their sexuality.

I would say that of the Mormon boys more than any other culture or religion I’ve come across. There are a lot of boys who are struggling out here, and the last thing they need is our disdain. They need our support. Q This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Joshua is a freelance writer, and you can reach him on Twitter at @joshuaradamson.

April 2018 |

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days at 6 p.m.

More information at mwfflslc.leagueapps.com or facebook. com/MWFFLSLC.

Queer Utah Aquatic Club

LGBT Sports in Salt Lake City Cycle Out — Salt Lake UT (CO-SLUT) Cycle Out Salt Lake UT is an LGBT and allies cycling group. They are mainly road cyclists, but there are members of the group that also mountain bike. They started off as Team Try-Angles. Team Try-Angles has been around since 2007 and been sponsored by Club Try-Angles since then. The CO-SLUT group was started last year as Team Try-Angles wanted to expand the group, participate in more rides, and promote cycling in our community. The group has over 70 members that have different levels of participation. We discuss biking tips, cycling tours and activities, and schedule group rides. There are all level of cyclists in the group. The group is helpful and friendly, will introduce new riders to cycling, and help to push and motivate each other.

Events they have planned for this year are Mesquite Madness on March 17, The Salt Lake Marathon Bike Tour, AIDS Lifecycle, and Harmon’s Best Dam Bike Ride (MS 150) in Logan. A spring social will be coming up in April.

More information on the team’s Facebook page at Cycle Out Salt Lake U.

Q Kickball and Pride Softball Leagues Pride Softball League and Q Kickball League registrations are being held at Club Try-Angles on Sundays from 2-4

p.m., March 25, April 1, April 8, and April 15. Pride Softball registration goes through April 22.

Games are held Sundays at Sunnyside Park.

For more information, go to facebook.com/utahpride. softballleague.

Mountain West Flag Football League Mountain West Flag Football League was created to provide healthy recreational sports for the Salt Lake area’s LGBTA community with more than 80 players every season. The league participates in the National Gay Flag Football League, which boasts over 200 teams in 20 leagues in the United States and Canada.

The MWFFL continues to grow each year and embraces anyone who wants to participate and allows everyone the opportunity to play and learn flag football. They also have a variety of volunteer positions available for those wishing to participate but not wanting to play.

There is a $60 registration fee due by March 30.

They also host open play, which is a great opportunity for individuals without football skills or background to learn about flag football, the league and to find volunteer opportunities. Everyone is drafted to a team and will have the opportunity to participate.

The league plays at Big Cottonwood Regional Park, 4350 S. 1300 East, Wednes-

QUAC is the largest LGBT sports club in Utah and offers swimmers of all abilities a supportive and safe environment to improve their swimming skills, get some exercise, meet people with similar interests and, if they so choose, the opportunity to compete.

If you are interested in swimming, water polo, diving, triathlons or open-water swimming; whether you’re a former competitor or can barely doggy paddle, QUAC has something to offer.

Swim workouts are Tuesdays and Thursdays at 7 p.m. and Sundays at 11 a.m., at Fairmont Aquatic Center, 1044 E. Sugarmont Dr.

Cheer Salt Lake Cheer Salt Lake practices on Cheersdays (Cheer + Tuesday), 7:45–10 p.m. at Utah Xtreme Cheer, 8531 S. 700 West, Unit D, Sandy.

The squad accepts new members several times throughout the year. Watch their facebook page for specific tryout announcements. Interested people can apply at any time and will be asked to attend their next tryouts. There can be several months between tryouts depending on the current schedule.

Last year, and again this year, the board of directors voted to have the Volunteers of America Homeless Youth Resources as their main beneficiary.

They perform at many community events and Prides across the state.

More information at cheersaltlake.org and facebook.com/ cheersaltlake.

Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League Utah’s longest running sports league.

Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League was founded in 1990 and is a USBC and GSLBA sanctioned league. The bowling league is about fun, socializing, competition, and giving back to the community.

They bowl Sundays at 7 p.m., September through April.

Information on their Facebook page, Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League.

28 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Tony’s Gay Agenda

BY TONY HOBDAY

Qsaltlake.com |

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April 2018

ANNUAL EVENTS

SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS

Once again, UMOCA and the Utah Brewers’ Guild have teamed up to bring you the popular Fluid Art, pairing Salt Lake City’s best craft beers with the most socially-conscious contemporary art in the state. Inspire your palate with some of the best locally-made craft brews while expanding your palette with the most culturally relevant contemporary art Utah has to offer. Sample 2-oz pours from eight Utah breweries and enjoy two 8-oz pours of your new favorite brew for $5 each.

The annual lampoon of all things Park City returns! The Parkites are at it again. Nether a year goes by that they can’t find a reason to satirize themselves.

But don’t beg to get in, they may need to make snow again next year.

Follow along while a social painting instructor guides you step-by-step through the featured painting in about two hours. If you’re feeling creative, change the colors to suit your decor or go completely rogue. They provide all supplies: a canvas, acrylic paint, brushes, smock, music, and a good time.

Come out early to enjoy drinks before we get started, just let them know you’re with Paint Nite. Secure your seats 45 minutes before start time, especially if part of a large group.

Part boy band, part Rat Pack, The Singing Bois blend musical precision and sexy swagger, performing original tunes and unique covers from vintage pop genres. A Queerstory of the Boy Band is a fun and playful exploration of gender, race, and sexuality that traces the evolution of the hits of your favorite boy bands, through barbershop, doo-wop, Motown, and more. With tight harmonies and dynamic dance moves, this show tells queer, butch, and transgender stories through song.

Two dancers move, play, and paint in the air, telling the story of the slow metamorphosis of the butterfly. TPO’s “theater of the senses” weaves dance, storytelling, and visual experience into a magical hands-on performance like nothing you’ve seen before. The audience is invited to enter the performance and interact with the beautiful, immersive world created on stage.

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FRIDAY — FLUID ART UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 6 p.m. Tickets $35, utahmoca.org

FRIDAY — PARK CITY FOLLIES Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main St., Park City, times vary, thru April 29 Tickets $34–50, egyptiantheatrecompany.org

DANCE Return, the finale of the “Together Alone” trilogy, is a science fiction-inspired dance work that imagines our future selves.

Conceived and choreographed by Artistic Director Daniel Charon, this futuristic work envisions who we may become as a result of the decisions we make regarding our current interactions with technology. An original score will be created and performed live by the Salt Lake Electric Ensemble.

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THURSDAY — RETURN Black Box, Eccles Theater, 131 Main St., 7:30 p.m., through Saturday. Tickets $35, artsaltlake.org

MOVIES

THURSDAY — THE SINGING BOIS: A QUEERSTORY OF THE BOY BAND

Kingsbury Hall, 1395 Presidents Cir., UofU, 7:30 p.m., through Friday. Tickets $20, kingsburyhall.utah.edu

FRIDAY — COMPAGNIA TPO — FARFALLE Kingsbury Hall, 1395 Presidents Cir., UofU, times vary, through Saturday. Tickets $12, kingsburyhall.utah.edu

THEATRE In three stages of a woman’s life, SLAC’s Fun Home tells a universal detective story about a child’s search to discover what is going on with her parents as they hold up the perfect family facade. Heart-gripping songs about sexual awakening, repressed emotions, buried secrets, yearning, resentment, love. Home.

Based on a graphic novel, and directed by Jason Bowcutt.

How will you die? Will you see it coming? What if you’re given a second chance? Plan-B’s Jump explores the impact of survival on those we love. Wow! My friend Donna “Sue” is turning the big 5-0 this summer and chooses unwisely to skydive ... girl, jump!

& AE

As Marina in A Fantastic Woman, Daniela Vega plays a transgender woman confronting discrimination and rejection by the family of her deceased partner. The role has thrust her into the international spotlight and made her a Hollywood darling. At this year’s Oscar ceremony, she became the first transgender person ever to present a performance at the coveted event.

Andrew Haigh, the out director of 2009’s Greek Pete, recently released Lean on Pete, about a teenager who gets a summer job working for a horse trainer and befriends the fading racehorse. Aww, the horse must be over 30!

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MONDAY — PAINT NITE AT BOHEMIAN BREWERY

Bohemian Brewery, 94 Fort Union Blvd., Midvale, 6 p.m. Free, 21+ event

FRIDAY — A FANTASTIC WOMAN

Jim Santy Auditorium, Park City Library, 1255 Park Ave., Park City, times vary, through Sunday. Tickets $8, parkcityfilmseries.com

FRIDAY — LEAN ON PETE

Broadway Centre Cinemas, 111 E. 300 South, times vary.

Tickets $7.25-10.50, saltlakefilmsociety.org

PHOTO: SERG WIADERNY, DRAPER UT

4 5

WEDNESDAY — FUN HOME

SLAC, 168 W. 500 North, 7:30 p.m., through May 13. Tickets $24-42, saltlakeactingcompany.org

THURSDAY — JUMP

Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, times vary, through April 15. Tickets $20, artsaltlake.org

UPCOMING EVENTS

May 6, K. Flay, smithstix.com June 16, Kesha and Macklemore, smithstix.com Aug. 9, Jack White, ticketfly.com Sep. 22, Beck, smithstix.com

April 2018 |

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The King’s English: YA authors talk about new novels that inspire individuality Gayle Forman, Sara Zarr, and Allie Condie rip from the pages of their new Young Adult novels at The King’s English Bookshop on Thursday, March 29.

Forman, the “titan of YA” (Bustle) returns with her first new Young Adult book in three years: I Have Lost My Way, a novel that follows the lives of three strangers over the course of one fateful day in New York City.

Around the time that Freya loses her voice while recording her debut album, Harun is making plans to run away from home to find the boy that he loves, and Nathaniel is arriving in New York City after a family tragedy left him isolated on the outskirts of Washington state. After the three of them collide in Central Park, they slowly reveal the parts of their past that they haven’t been able to confront, and together, they find their way back to who they’re supposed to be.

Told over the course of a single day from three different perspectives, Forman’s newest novel about the power of friendship and being true to who you are is filled with the elegant prose that her fans have come to know and love.

Forman is an award-winning, #1 New York Times bestselling author and journalist. She is the author of If I Stay, Where She Went, Just One Day, Just One Year, I Was Here, and Leave Me. She lives in Brooklyn, New York, with her

husband and daughters.

Sara Zarr was raised in San Francisco and now lives in Salt Lake City with her husband. Her first novel, Story of a Girl, was a 2007 National Book Award finalist.

In a moment, Deanna Lambert’s teenage life is changed forever. Struggling to overcome the lasting repercussions and the stifling role of “school slut,” Deanna longs to escape a life defined by her past. With subtle grace, complicated wisdom, and striking emotion, Story of a Girl reminds us of our human capacity for resilience, epiphany, and redemption.

“I was thirteen when my dad caught me with Tommy Webber in the back of Tommy’s Buick, parked next to the old Chart House down in Montara at eleven o’clock on a Tuesday night. Tommy was seventeen and the supposed friend of my brother, Darren.

“I didn’t love him.

“I’m not sure I even liked him.”

Matched, by Allyson Braithwaite Condie, is the first novel in the Matched trilogy. The novel is a dystopian YA novel about a tightly-controlled society in which young people are “matched” with their life partners at the age of 17. The main character is Cassia Reyes, who is matched with her best friend, Xander.

However, when viewing the information for her match, the picture of another young man — Ky Markham, an acquaintance outcast at her school — is flashed across the screen. As Cassia attempts to figure out the source of the mishap, she find Q

Opening April 6 at BROADWAY

30 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

Qsaltlake.com |

Making travel plans to get your Pride on?

Here are some selected Prides across the state and around the world.

APRIL 2–8, Miami Beach, miamibeachgaypride.com 8, Phoenix, phoenixpride.org 29–May 7, Tokyo, Japan, Asia, Middle East, tokyorainbowpride.com

MAY 3–8, Houston, houstonsplash.com 19–Aug. 20, Long Beach, longbeachpride. com 20–27, Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, vallartapride.com 30–June 3, Salt Lake City, utahpridecenter. org

JUNE 1–3 Kansas City, gaypridekc.org 1–3, Santa Rosa, sonomacountypride.org 2–9, Niagara Falls, Canada, prideniagara.com 3–10, Tel Aviv, Israel, Asia, Middle East, facebook.com/tlvpride 6–10, Key West, keywestpride.org 7–10, Washington DC, capitalpride.org 8–10, New Orleans, neworleanspridefestival.com 8–17, Portland, prideportland.org 9–10, Los Angeles, lapride.org 13–16, Ibiza, Spain, ibizagaypride.eu 15–16, Boise, boisepridefest.org 16–17, Denver, glbtcolorado.org 17–25, Chicago, chicago.gopride.com 21–24, Pocatello, pocatellopride.org 21–30, Dublin, Ireland, dublinpride.ie 23–24, San Francisco, sfpride.org 24, Seattle, seattlepride.org

April 2018

JULY

SEPTEMBER

6–8, Cologne, Germany, patroc.com 14–15, San Diego, sdpride.org 28–Aug. 5, Amsterdam, Netherlands, amsterdamgaypride.nl

1, Logan, loganpride.org 9–17, Hamilton, New Zealand, Australia, Pacific, hamiltonpride.co.nz 15–16, Dallas, dallaspride.org 15–22, Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, Central America, caribbeanpride.com 16, Provo, provopride.org 26–30, Moab, moabpride.com

AUGUST

Prides in Utah and across the globe

Issue 278 |

4, Ogden, ogdenpride.org 10–19, Charlotte, charlottepride.org 11–17, Provincetown, ptownevents.com 24–Sep. 3, Calgary, Canada, calgarypride.ca

PTC announces 2018–19 season Pioneer Theatre Company’s 2018–2019 season will open with the Regional Premiere of Oslo by J. T. Rogers, winner of the 2017 Tony Award for Best Play and the 2017 Obie Award for Best New American Theatre Work. In October, the Stephen Sondheim musical thriller Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street will take the stage, followed by a sequel to Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, Miss Bennet: Christmas at Pemberley written by Lauren Gunderson and Margot Melcon.

In January, the theatre will present The Lion in Winter, a fascinating look at the battle of wits between two legendary figures, Henry II and Eleanor of Aquitaine.

Following that will be the charming musical love story Once, which won the 2012 Tony for Best Musical and Best Book, and the 2013 Grammy for Best Musical Theatre Album. Sweat, the powerful and emotional 2017 winner of the Pulitzer Prize for Drama, written by Lynn Nottage, will follow, and the season will conclude with everyone’s favorite nostalgic throwback to the 1950s, the musical Grease.

“What most excited me about this season is that it brings a little bit of everything to our audiences,” said PTC Artistic Director Karen Azenberg. “It isn’t often that we have the opportunity to present both the Pulitzer Prize winner (Sweat) and the Tony Award winner (Oslo) from the same year. With Once, the Tony Award-winning musical based on the film of the same name (which was seen in 2007 at the Sundance Film Festival), Utah audiences will appreciate the romantic story and the live musicians incorporated into the storytelling. Miss Bennett: Christmas at Pemberley is sure to become a new holiday favorite.”

OCTOBER 19–21, Las Vegas, lasvegaspride.org Single ticket prices for musicals will range from $44–66, and prices for non-musicals range from $30–45.

Season ticket options, which include significant discounts, will continue to include a full Seven-Play, Pick-5, and Flex and Rush Pass options.

Packages and passes range in price from $150–325 and include the best seats and discounts, as well as the convenience of exchange privileges and other benefits.

For season tickets, contact Pioneer Theatre Company’s Box Office at 5816961 or visit online at pioneertheatre.org.

2018-2019 Seas0n Dates OSLO

by J. T. Rogers Sep. 14–29

SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET Music and Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim Book by Hugh Wheeler Oct. 26–Nov. 10

MISS BENNET: CHRISTMAS AT PEMBERLEY

by Lauren Gunderson, Margot Melcon Nov. 30–Dec. 15

THE LION IN WINTER

by James Goldman Jan. 4–19

ONCE Music and Lyrics by Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová Book by Enda Walsh Feb. 15–March 2

SWEAT

By Lynn Nottage March 29–April 13

GREASE Music, Lyrics, and Book by Jim Jacobs and Warren Casey May 10–25

April 2018 |

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 31

Issue 278 | Qsaltlake.com

mr. manners

Balance into spring

scious decipher a solution. While not exactly profound, this technique allows you to discover new and creative ways of accomplishing your

BY ROCK MAGEN daily tasks. Ultimatewinter is a ly, this technique will allow welcomed you to be innovative and that relief for a number of reasons, leads to having more time but mainly because the seato spend doing what you are sons have a built in balance. good at and enjoy.

As I was pondering this idea One more thing to conof balance, I was reminded sider is finding a role model of the times in life where we who has the type of balance lose our own personal balyou seek in your life. I have ance. Since a balanced life is found role models to be an critical to success, I am going excellent teacher of how to to share some ways to help balance work, family and keep you balanced as we enter personal interests. The best a new season. role models never appear to The first symptom of being focus on balance, but they unbalanced is the neglect of naturally model it every day. important areas in your life.

Find people in your life or Ultimately this prevents you industry with a similar livefrom being successful and lihood who successfully live happy. No one wants that. So, healthy, happy and balanced step one is to focus on life lives. Watch them. Follow and not work. Change your them online. Speak to them to perspective by thinking first discover what they are doing about the life you want to live right. Emulate areas of their and then about the job and behavior which work for you career which fits into that life and help you achieve your and can support it financially. own goals.

If you are strategic about your Remember to choose the decisions, you can put the life balance right for you. horse (your life) before the Don’t adopt someone else’s cart (your job and career). definition unless it fits Focusing on the life you comfortably with you. When want is nice, but it doesn’t it comes to life balance, one prevent you from reaching size does not fit all. In the end, burnout in the life you have. don’t be afraid to have a “me” We have all been there. We party and do something you reach a state of emotional, enjoy which focuses entirely mental, and physical exhauson you. Fulfilling your purtion caused by excessive and pose is your destiny. Finding prolonged stress. We all know your balance in life is essential the negative effects of burnto unleashing your true potenout, so, let’s talk about the tial. Take your first, small treatment. The best treatment step today. Tomorrow take is to taking a moment to think the next. I challenge you to and reflect, or better yet, sleep travel a step at a time towards a life of balance, success and on a challenge in your life happiness. Q - which helps your subcon-

Leaving

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Chad Anderson grew up gay in a large Mormon family. After years of trying to conform to religious standards, which promised a cure for homosexuality, he married and had children before finally coming out of the closet. Gay Mormon Dad is his story of finally learning to love himself in a complicated world. Chad currently resides with his two sons in Salt Lake City, where he works as a social worker and a writer.

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32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FOOD & DRINK

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 278 |

April 2018

Restaurant Review

RYE Restaurant and Bar

BY JOSHUA JONES & STEVEN FINAU

A few

years ago, a very dear old friend gave us a gift certificate to RYE. Recently, we found that certificate and decided to use it before it was lost again.

It is a bit embarrassing, being food writers and having not gone into a restaurant that receives generally positive reviews and is three blocks from our house. We suppose our absence is an example of just how many places are opening and how easy it is to forget about the neighborhood diner around the corner. As Salt Lake’s PUZZLE SOLUTIONS

food renaissance continues, we found that RYE accelerates the culinary conventions of innovative restaurants downtown.

Before walking in we had a concept that RYE had kept the modern mafia maginations of Al Forno’s, (the previous occupant). I also assumed, (you know what they say about doing that), that by the name, it would be a sorta-elevated comfort foods place.

It was a ‘hell no’ on both counts… RYE is austere. The booths are plywood, the art is white, and the waiter is waiting and wanting. It is not

bare bones, but it is bare chested in its hipster-y, urban vibe. The sexy and sinewy host put us in a booth with a view of the apple-cheeked redhead tending the bar. All was beautiful.

We have brought Shandra and Thom, recent transplants from Seattle. They feel at home and their warmth and laughter bring a bit of character to an otherwise pedestrian space. Perhaps that is the point, that the food and friends gathered and served in this concrete creation will fill it with glow and hospitality.

The food did not disappoint. Like North Korea exploring nuclear weapons, RYE is developing umami-bombs. The deeply toasted Brussel sprout appetizer with a balsamic reduction, toasted almonds, and bacon were al dente, salty, and gobbled quickly. It was a great

example of how the kitchen is balancing and building flavors off fairly simple, local ingredients.

Said gift certificate allowed us to be indulgent. The truffle mac and cheese ($10) with spinach and bacon was a

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April 2018 |

FOOD & DRINK | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 33

Issue 278 | Qsaltlake.com

DINING GUIDE FABBY SLC

Most Fabby in Park City

Brew Pub

Serving Lunch and Dinner Daily, Weekend Brunch $2 Mid-Day Mimosas, Bloody Marys and Nooners

grown-up delight. The melty pork belly from Tooele farms was a standout ($13), marinated in a savory broth with ramen noodles, house-made kimchi, and soft boiled egg… it was luxurious.

A sweet hoisin sauce balanced out a very fulfilling smoky poke bowl ($18).

The perfectly diced tuna was in an aromatic wonderland of rice, avocado, and Asian slaw. Finally, the homemade veggie burger ($12) made with mushrooms topped with pickled onion was meaty, though it could have used a denser bun, which kind of fell apart from the moist, but flavorful patty.

There were times when the service was a bit dodgy and uneven, and our server seemed distracted on more than one occasion. Having said that, RYE is worth a return visit, even if it’s just for the donut holes with a sweet dunking cream: a wonderful end to the evening.

RYE RESTAURANT & BAR

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34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | SEX

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 278 |

April 2018

sex in salt lake city

Turning shame into claim

BY DR. LAURIE BENNETT-COOK

Our new columnist is a graduate level clinical sexologist with an undergraduate degree in psychology and a doctorate degree in human sexuality. She believes a large part of her job is to be a sex enabler. Through counseling, workshops, and hands on exercises, she assists others in achieving the level of sexual function they desire. She enjoys the study and research of not only what people are doing sexually, but how they feel about it.

She is president of the non-profit Sex Positive Salt Lake City and is an IPSA certified surrogate partner therapist working with clients and therapists in a triadic model to assist in bringing clients comfortable with their sexual selves; Most importantly, she is a mother of eight; grandmother of five; and a wife of one. Contact her at DrLaurieBennettCook@gmail.com I found myself freshly divorced and facing a world that was different than I had perceived it to be. Being raised in an ultra-conservative climate, I wasn’t confident how to navigate what sexuality looked like for me. I was determined to prove myself free of feeling any judgments or shame from others about how they perceived my sexual expression.

It wasn’t until seven years later, at my 40th birthday, that I felt ownership of my sexuality. I was attending a surprise birthday party thrown for me. I had a little glittery crown on my head that had the number 40 on it and a glass of champagne in hand.

During the festivities, a friend took me aside and stated that she and some others were concerned as they had heard rumors about how I had been conducting myself sexually. I knew what ‘concern’ meant.

It meant I was the subject of gossip.

Being gossiped about was never good.

Apparently, word had got out in our small community that I was quite ‘easy.’

I listened to her speak and frantically thought of how to defuse what she was saying. I wanted to get back to my party

At 33,

and maintain any little dignity I had left.

I scanned the room. How many others were thinking so horribly of me? I had been raised to be a good example and to have people think negatively of me was torturous. Here I was being faced with some of my biggest fears — judgment and shame from others. Why? Because I chose to be a sexual person.

After a few minutes (which felt like an hour) of trying to block out her voice with my panicked thoughts, I reached up to adjust my little glittery crown. My crown that said “40.” I was 40 years old. It was in that moment that an overwhelming sense of calm came over me. With complete resignation, I politely cut her off and said: “I understand you’re concerned, but I am 40. Last I checked that was old enough not to need anyone else’s approval on how I conduct my life.”

Where the words and strength came from, I don’t know, but there they were just the same. For her part, she said nothing. She didn’t need to. I knew I had done right by me. I felt empowered and genuinely was saddened for my friend who trapped in the world of shame. A world that just moments before held me captive. In that moment shame was lost on me. How did shame lose its power?

I turned shame into a source to claim. I owned it.

Many times when I counsel people who are freshly coming out to their sexual self, they struggle with what they think they “should” or “should not” be doing. It can be especially confusing for someone coming out after years of sexual repression whether it be from religion, family dynamics, or social construct. There is a belief that they have been missing out and now have so much for to make up.

In doing so, people will think: “I must become positive about all things sexual,” whether those things are of interest to me or not. In reality, our sexuality is personal. Our exploration is for growth and gain

“Being free of shame allows one to discover just what is the best sex of all. What is the very best sex of all you ask? It is whatever consensual activities you and your partner(s) agree to participate in, be it alone or with one another. It’s celebrating the sexual uniqueness that makes you, you.” of who we are at the core of ourselves.

Our sexuality is for pleasure, connection, health and well being.

Being free of shame is a state of mind.

It is honoring and accepting that your human sexuality is diverse, fluid, and subjective. Freedom from shame invites us to acknowledge that there is no hierarchy in sexual interests, sexual orientation, gender identity, or relational configuration.

It is not just a term or social wave, but rather a personal movement to provide yourself with the permission to express freely and proudly. Being free of shame allows one to discover just what is the best sex of all. What is the very best sex of all you ask? It is whatever consensual activities you and your partner(s) agree to participate in, be it alone or with one another. It’s celebrating the sexual uniqueness that makes you, you.

Being shame-free is to care for yourself and others by only consenting to activities and interactions that genuinely make you each feel good both physically and psychologically. If all involved feel right about the activity and who you’re interacting with, shame cannot hold you captive any longer.

Indeed, all this is easier said than done, but if there’s one thing my clients have shown me is that permitting ourselves to be authentic is truly the most beautiful place to be. Q Dr. Laurie Bennett-Cook is a clinical sexologist with an undergraduate degree in psychology and a doctorate degree in human sexuality. She believes a large part of her job is to be a sex enabler. Through counseling, workshops, and hands on exercises, she assists others in achieving the level of sexual function they desire. She divides her time between Los Angeles and Salt Lake City.

April 2018 |

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 35

Issue 278 | Qsaltlake.com

gay writes

The poet R A CPAP across the universe

BY KED KIRKHAM

I pulled

the blankets up, tight under my chin and stretched until I felt the limit of the bed. The breach had been short, a check of data: had I slept long enough? (5.18 hours), had I stopped breathing? (1.8 times per hour), was my mask in place? (mostly).

Cursory. Disinterested.

Good enough for me. As NPR faded with distance, I pushed off into darkness.

Oxygenation had been a boon to my nightlife. Better than exhaustion. I still slept immediately, or “as soon as my head hit the pillow,” but sleep had become a vast place within which to live.

“No, none that I can think of,” I told the doctor when he asked if the CPAP was giving me any problems. “But man, my dreams are wild!”

I knew the road. It went up behind Primary Children’s on 12th Avenue. I drove and drove and drove until I was at the school. That I did not have a car perturbed me not at all, neither did the street grid of Ogden passing by as I moved.

Nor Barbra Streisand, holding up two ceramic tiles to Officer Pat. I think they were Prussian Blue. Persian?

What was disturbing was I could not recall if she used a ‘T’ in her name. I spent much of the trip sorting that out, and this led to the inevitable Kianti-Chianti argument.

When I smelled caramel macchiato with sea salt, I woke.

The correct word said correctly is very important to me.

I could feel the waistband of my underwear against my ass. Rolling onto my back, I

found the front of the band was still up; clinging, controlling. It was no effort to change that. I freed it from its hook, pushing the clothing down onto my thighs, and rolled again to face the other side of the bed. Quickly, diving deep, I slept again.

The underwear got incorporated into my dream. Familiar people in familiar rooms, familiar circumstances of work and public transportation, my clothes missing. It was awkward. It disturbed me.

I woke up.

These dreams don’t bother me while I am awake. I guess that is easily explained: I am awake; but they wake me up as if to get away from a conflict, or an argument, to take my balls and leave.

“Oh, yeah?” I say, “I’ll show you, I will just go awake!”

Childish, I know. I have been like that all my life, even into adulthood. One partner actually chased me out of the apartment, following me, accusing and haranguing me.

When we were several blocks away I realized it was my place and turned on him.

“You jerk, I don’t have to leave, you do.” I took my balls and went home.

I washed and folded his underwear, put it on the porch with a note: “throwing these away on Thursday.” He came by one night, and I could see someone in the car waiting for him. For a while, in dreams, it was me, and there was always underwear to fold.

I haven’t had that dream for a while, so we must be over.

Sometimes you have just got to cut the ties that bind

you, trying not to cut any arteries in the process. Each time, I get better at it. I rarely dream of situations that remain unresolved.

I don’t dream of smoking anymore, but that first year I was sure I smelled smoke and woke up.

They were that real.

I do still dream of a finger hooking my underwear and trying to move in. I never can see who it is, though, and I seem always to have to help.

I adjusted the mask to stop air bursts in my eye. And slept.

I was at the mall, watch-

ing a guy with a long white cane fumble with an open backpack, which was red, while I was speaking with a deaf woman (I think, what?) learning the bus routes.

I tried to interpret for her sighted guide but knew my train was due. Someone had to sort this out and they could not understand me. I had to swim hard to make it back and catch the train.

Missing trains always wakes me up.

I found the humidifier reservoir was dry. And I’d lost my panties completely. Q Gay Writes is a DiverseCity Series writing group, a program of SLCC’s Community Writing Center. The group meets the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month, 6:30–8pm.

36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | MUSIC

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 278 |

April 2018

hear me out

7

albums (Britney! Robyn!) that will make this year suck less

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

That

Britney album better come quick — preferably before the world combusts from nuclear warfare. On the horizon for the rest of what’s shaping up to be a very gay 2018 outside of Brandi Carlile’s recently released must-hear masterwork? New Robyn, new Kylie, new Troye. If only our current political era was as promising as this year’s albums-release slate.

KYLIE MINOGUE, GOLDEN The cool place to be a gay icon isn’t Los Angeles anymore — it’s Nashville, y’all.

There, Kesha found an empowered state of mind for her twice Grammy-nominated album, Rainbow.

Cyndi Lauper took a Detour, recording Patsy Cline and Dolly Parton classics for the aforementioned covers disc. Now, as the spring release date nears for her 14th studio album and follow up to 2014’s Kiss Me Once, add Kylie Minogue to the long list of pop princesses who like a little dirt on the dance floor. First single “Dancing” stays true to the Aussie diva’s long-established brand of fizzy pop. But before it morphs into a country-lite banger, its opening acoustic guitar licks trick you into thinking her boots — OK, very bedazzled pumps — were made for walking, when really all Kylie wants to do is dance away her relationship woes. Revealing that her new work was influenced by her breakup with former fiancé Joshua Sasse, she told The Sun in October 2017, “The songs are very storytelling and story-based.”

LOVE, SIMON SOUNDTRACK There’s no denying the power of song in a coming-of-age film, from John Hughes classics like The Breakfast Club, with “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds, or David Bowie’s timeless tune “Heroes,” which breathed an even richer tenderness into The Perks of Being a Wallflower and its YA outsider story. On March 16 20th Century Fox released Love, Simon, songs from Troye Sivan, Jack Antonoff’s band Bleachers and HAERTS — and even Whitney’s “I Wanna Dance With Somebody

(Who Loves Me),” used to sweet musical-esque effect in the film — will enrich the experience for queer teens and adults alike of seeing the groundbreaking gay-led romance Love, Simon.

BRITNEY SPEARS, TBD If hot gay Buzzfeed writers are to be trusted, Britney Spears has a new album coming out in 2018, or very soon, or some day in the next six months to five years. Journo Christian Zamora took to Twitter to gleefully announce that super-songwriter Justin Tranter gave him a very vague “just wait” when asked about a new Brit album for 2018 while on the Golden Globes red carpet in January. Tranter was Spears’ writing partner on her 2016 commercially lackluster but artistically slick standout Glory, and they obviously hit it off because he’s been an integral part of the creative process for B10, as in Britney Spears, album 10. So, watch for this one. Whenever it comes out.

BRANDI CARLILE,

BY THE WAY, I FORGIVE YOU Thirteen years into her esteemed career as one of Americana’s greatest singer-songwriters, will lesbian crooner Brandi Carlile at last garner a long-overdue mainstream following? She certainly should, as By the Way, I Forgive You is an unparalleled piece of work by Carlile’s standards, not to mention I haven’t heard an album this front-to-back sublime since Lorde’s summer 2017 release, Melodrama. Aching with raw, lived-in feelings of regret, aging, empathy, love and — for us queers — the outsiderness she sings of on her empowering anthem “The Joke,” Carlile’s latest collection of tender laments (I will never not cry whenever I hear “Most of All”) and explosive alt-rockers perfectly replicate her live sound, thanks to roots producers Dave Cobb and Shooter Jennings. Grammy voters, are you listening?

KACEY MUSGRAVES, GOLDEN HOUR Kacey Musgraves followed her trusty arrow last year and ended up drinking Guinness on tap and talking about reincarnation with Sheryl Crow at her Nashville recording studio, situated above Crow’s horse stable.

In December, Musgraves told Entertain-

ment Weekly those “heady” conversations influenced her latest material (wistful Song of the Year-caliber single “Space Cowboy” among them), partly penned by out country songwriter Shane McAnally and due early this year. Known for suffusing her queer-affirming liberalism into her folk-country music, the Grammy-winning musician revealed to EW there’s a colorful cast of characters on this new release: “...there’s the lonely girl, the blissful girl, the new wife, the girl that’s missing her mom, the angry girl, the sarcastic girl, the ’60s-sequined Cruella de Vil with the beehive, the shy girl, the life of the party, the winner, the loser.”

TROYE SIVAN, TBD Looks like we’ll blessedly be seeing a lot of Troye Sivan’s porcelain-doll face in the coming months — and not just while serving mesmeric, make-a-grown-man-cry poetry on SNL, where the Aussie stunned with a new sonic heartbreaker, “The Good Side,” from his upcoming album. Eyes closed, arms flung out, he swayed his little gay hips during the synth-y instrumental break. And if you weren’t already won over

by Sivan’s queer coming-of-age debut, Blue Neighborhood, released when he was 20, his slip into a pain-shielding meditation on live TV surely captured you. Between “The Good Side” and “My My My,” Sivan’s sophomore release is looking to be a transcendent shift into his post-teen sexual awakening and the sometimes-devastating consequences that come with growing up.

ROBYN, TBD, HONEY Call your girlfriend, everyone. And hey, while you’re at it, call your boyfriend, your mama, your papa; hell, call your favorite Starbucks barista. Even if it doesn’t seem like the best time to be alive, it is actually the best time to be alive if you spent 2012 pretending you were Lena Dunham busting a move to Robyn’s “Dancing On My Own” in Girls like I did. The maker of songs that make you caterwaul on the dancefloor is gearing up for her long-awaited comeback album (or albums?)

— the follow-up to her brilliant anthological release Body Talk in 2010 — this year.

When an impatient fan spoke for all of us in a tweet, “Who decides your next album release (sic),” the fembot herself sassed with the most glorious of news: “I do.

Some time this year, honey (sic).” We’re so ready — in fact, we’ve been ready. Q Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate. Reach him at chris-azzopardi.com and on Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

April 2018 |

Issue 278 | Qsaltlake.com

COMICS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37

38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | MARKETPLACE

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April 2018

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MARKETPLACE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 39

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M A S S AG E

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T R AV E L

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VIDEO SERVICE S

Christine Cardamon 801-661-9662

ccardamon@gmail.com / NMLS# 1370848/3013

www.graystonemortgage.com/ccardamon fb.me/christinecardamonmortgageloanofficer

R E A L E S TAT E

Mary Olsen REALTOR

Specializing in LGBT WEDDINGS and special event VIDEOGRAPHY stonewallweddings.net VO I C E L E S S O N S

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801-661-3175

Mary@MoreProfessionals.com

www.MovingWithMaryUtah.com facebook.com/MovingwithMary

TA R O T

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䜀䄀䔀䄀 唀一䤀嘀䔀刀匀 吀䄀刀伀吀 ␀㈀ ⼀㘀 䴀䤀一匀 簀 ␀㄀ ⼀㌀ 䴀䤀一匀⸀

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UTAH VOCAL STUDIO

Pride Counseling • Support Groups • Holistic Approach • Build Intimacy & Trust • Explore Spiritual Options • Strengthen Relationships • Transgender Issues

Jerry Buie MSW, LCSW

801.595.0666 Office 801.557.9203 Cell 1174 E Graystone Way, Suite 20-E JerryBuie@mac.com WWW.PRIDECOUNSELING.TV

SINGING LESSONS ROGER COX 801.609.4332 UtahVocalStudio.com BEGINNERS TO ADVANCED

Support the Salt Lake Men’s Choir when you shop on Amazon using

WEDDING SERVICE S

TYING THE KNOT? Know who WANTS your business and will treat you with the DIGNITY and RESPECT you deserve

It’s easy! You shop. Amazon gives.

1. Bookmark bit.ly/saltlakemenschoir 2. Use that link to shop on the same Amazon you always use 3. Enjoy your purchase (and that warm feeling knowing that a percentage of your sale supports the choir) Easy, peasy! Thanks!

SaltLakeMensChoir.org

40 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY

Qmmunity Groups ALCOHOL & DRUG

Alcoholics Anonymous

Tues. 7pm, 6876 S Highland Dr Wed. noon, 2319 Foothill Dr, #120 Weds. 6:30 pm, Univ

801-484-7871

Neuropsych Institute,

 utahaa.org

501 Chipeta Way #1566

LGBT meetings: Sun. 3p Acceptance Group, UPC, 255 E 400 S Mon. 7p Gay Men’s Stag (Big Book Study), UPC, 255 E 400 S 8p G/Q Women’s Mtg, Disability Law Center (rear), 205 N 400 W Tues. 8:15p Live & Let Live, UPC, 255 E 400 S Wed. 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Fri. 8p Stonewall Group, UPC, 255 E 400 S Crystal Meth Anon  crystalmeth.org

Sun. 1:30pm Clean, Sober & Proud LGBTQIA+Straight USARA, 180 E 2100 S Thurs. 1p Unity In Sobriety, 175 S 700 E LifeRing Secular Recovery 385-258-3788  liferingutah.org

Sun. 10am Univ. Neuropsychiatric Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Mon. 5pm, First Unitarian Church, 569 S 1300 E

Thurs. 5:30pm, USARA, 180 E 2100 S, #100 Fri. 7pm, 2212 S West Temple #29

Qsaltlake.com |

HEALTH & HIV

Peer Support for Mental Illness — PSMI

6:30 pm Mondays

Thurs 7pm, Utah Pride

* info@equalityutah.org

Community Writing

Ctr (when reopened)

175 W 200 S, Ste 1004

Planned Parenthood 654 S 900 E 800-230-PLAN Salt Lake County Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic 660 S 200 E, 4th Floor Walk-ins M–F 10a–4p Appts 385-468-4242

Church, 777 S 1300 E

Utah AIDS Foundation  utahaids.org

LGBTQ-Affirmative

* mail@utahaids.org

Psycho-therapists Guild

1408 S 1100 E

of Utah  lgbtqtherapists.com * jim@lgbtqtherapists.com

Utah Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce  utahgaychamber.com * info@utahgaychamber.com

Vest Pocket Business Coalition

801-487-2323 Weber-Morgan Health Mon., Weds 1-4:30p 477 23rd St, Ogden Appt 801-399-7250 HOMELESS SVCS

Volunteers of America Homeless Youth Resource Ctr, ages 15–21 880 S 400 W

 vestpocket.org

801-364-0744

801-596-8977

Transition Homes:

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 YWCA of Salt Lake

Gay Writes writing group, DiverseCity

 equalityutah.org

Sat. 11am, First Baptist

BUSINESS

POLITICAL

Equality Utah

Young Men’s 801-433-1713 Young Women’s 801-359-5545 LEGAL

Rainbow Law Free Clinic

 ywca.org/saltlakecity

2nd Thurs 6:30–7:30pm

322 E 300 S

UofU Law School, 383

801-537-8600

S University St

801-355-3479 Utah Libertarian Party 6885 S State St #200 888-957-8824 Utah Log Cabin Republicans  bit.ly/logcabinutah

801-657-9611 Utah Stonewall Democrats  utahstonewalldemocrats.org

RELIGIOUS

First Baptist Church

 menwhomove.org

OUTreach Utah Ogden  outreachutah.org

OWLS of Utah (Older, Wiser, Lesbian. Sisters)  bit.ly/owlsutah

Queer Friends  queerfriends.org

qVinum Wine Tasting  qvinum.com

* office@firstbaptist-

 fb.me /QVinum/

slc.org 11a Sundays 777 S 1300 E 801-582-4921 Sacred Light of Christ  slcchurch.org

823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church  wasatchmcc.org

801-889-8764 Sundays, 11a at Mestizo Coffee, 631 W N Temple SOCIAL

1 to 5 Club (bisexual)  fb.me/ 1to5ClubUtah

The Bonnie and Clyde’s Social Group Alternative Garden Club  bit.ly/altgarden *

altgardenclub@gmail.com blackBOARD Men’s Kink/Sex/BDSM education, 1st, 3rd Mons.  blackbootsslc.org

blackBOOTS Kink/BDSM

umen.org

 bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah

Men Who Move

 firstbaptist-slc.org

 bit.ly/BonnieClydeSG

OUT U.S. OLYMPIC MEN’S SLOPESTYLE SILVER MEDALIST GUS KENWORTHY

Ctr, 210 E 400 S Ste 8 Get Outside Utah

Sage Utah, Seniors  fb.me/sageutah  sageutah@

utahpridecenter.org 801-557-9203 Temple Squares Square Dance Club  templesquares.org

801-449-1293 Utah Bears  utahbears.com  fb.me/utahbears  info@utahbears.com

Weds 6pm Raw Bean Coffee, 611 W Temple Utah Male Naturists  umen.org  info@umen.org

Utah Pride Center  utahpridecenter.org  info@

utahpridecenter.org New location soon 801-539-8800 SPORTS

Pride Community Softball League

Men’s leather/kink/

 fb.me/utahpride.

fetish/BDSM 4th Sats.

softballleague

 blackbootsslc.org

 pcsl@prideleague.com

Issue 278 |

April 2018

Q Kickball League  fb.me/qsaltlake. kickball Sundays, 10:30, 11:30, Sunnyside Park QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club  quacquac.org  questions@ quacquac.org Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League  bit.ly/slgoodtime Stonewall Shooting Sports of Utah  fb.me/stonewall. sportsofutah Venture Out Utah  facebook.com/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah YOUTH/COLLEGE

Encircle LGBTQ Family and Youth Resource Center  encircletogether.org fb.me/encircletogether 91 W 200 S, Provo, Gay-Straight Alliance Network  gsanetwork.org Salt Lake Community College LGBTQ+ 8 slcc.edu/lgbtq/ University of Utah LGBT Resource Center 8 lgbt.utah.edu 200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409 801-587-7973 USGA at BYU  fb.me/UsgaAtByu Utah State Univ. Access & Diversity Ctr  usu.edu/ accesscenter/lgbtqa Utah Valley Univ Spectrum  facebook.com/ groups/uvuspectrum Weber State University LGBT Resource Center  weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter 801-626-7271

April 2018 |

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 41

Issue 278 | Qsaltlake.com

book review

REVIEW BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

When They Call You a Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir

BY PATRISSE KHANCULLORS & ASHA BANDELE, C.2017, ST. MARTIN’S PRESS $24.99 257 PAGES

You can’t look any longer.

Whatever it is, it’s just too painful, too scary, so you hide your eyes and pretend that nothing’s happening. You can’t look any longer, so you don’t… but after awhile, you notice it again.

That’s when you realize that you saw all along. That’s when, as in the new book When They Call You a Terrorist by Patrisse Khan-Cullors & asha bandele, you realize that you never really could look away.

Growing up as the third child in a family of four, Patrisse Khan-Cullors lived with her mother and siblings in a “multiracial” neighborhood near Sherman Oaks, California.

The two places were “less than a mile” apart but, due to social, financial, and racial divides, they were separated by oceans, in Khan-Cullors’ mind.

Despite that her mother worked all day and into the night, Khan-Cullors was reared in a loving atmosphere. The man who raised her wasn’t always around, but she adored him; after she learned, at age 12, that he wasn’t her biological father, her birth-father and his family became present on a regular basis. Absent an adult, Khan-Cullors’ eldest brother acted as “man” of the house.

This all complicated her young life, but she enjoyed this expanded, supportive family.

Khan-Cullors says that she was 12 years old, the first time

she was arrested. By then, she’d witnessed her brothers being questioned by police for just hanging out with friends.

She started truly noticing her surroundings.

Not long afterward, her father was imprisoned on drug charges, and she lost touch with much of his family. Then her older brother was imprisoned for attempted burglary and was diagnosed with a mental health disorder, and Khan-Cullors came to understand that she was Queer. She began to earnestly question things.

At 16, she became an “organizer’ and activist. She doubled down on it after her brother was arrested and called a “terrorist” for yelling at a woman.

She was driven to act when, following the death of Trayvon Martin and the acquittal of George Zimmerman, she sent out a message to her friends. #BlackLivesMatter.

“I write,” she says, “I hope it impacts more than we can ever imagine.”

And, of course, it did, and it will. Once you’re finished with When They Call You a Terrorist, you’ll want to stand up, too.

You’ll want to stand, even though author Patrisse KhanCullors (with asha bandele) doesn’t tell stories here that haven’t already been told before.

Indeed, many authors have shared similar tales of poverty, affluent white friends, outrage, prison, and sadness. The shelves are full of such books — but this one is different because Khan-Cullors gives her story an urgent hear-me-now outrage.

That “done playing” feeling is what readers may come away with — a feeling that underscores Khan-Cullors’ activism.

And that’s what this book is about: it’s a rallying cry wrapped in a memoir tied in a call to legal action of whatever sort. And so, if you’re ready, “When They Call You a Terrorist” is worth a longer look. Q

Luci the Sexting Robot

48 Rachel Maddow, to MSNBC 49 ___ name (Box to Vidal, e.g.)

ACROSS 1 Femme character in 53 End of the quote 56 Ill-suited Mango Kiss, or lip 5 Slap on the bottom 57 Place for Proust 58 Go lickety-split 9 Opera selections 59 Tops of arenas 14 Loads 15 The English Patient 60 Word to a dominatrix nurse 16 “With parsley,” for 61 The whole shebang Traci Des Jardins DOWN 17 Start of a quote 1 “Dog will have his about Luci, the day,“ for example sexting robot 2 Homophobic pres20 “Rodeo” composer ident impersonator Aaron Baldwin 21 Private‘s position 3 Gay nightlife 22 Caesar‘s salutation district London 23 Circumspect 4 Margaret Cho’s 24 Mame or Em Can‘t ___ Dancing 28 Director Gus Van 5 Gather into a ___ bundle 29 G or B but not L or 6 Batman‘s alter ego T Bruce 30 Engages in breeder 7 What Santa gave, activity in verse 35 Explorer of Nickel- 8 Greek T odeon 9 Emulate ACT UP 36 More of the quote 10 One who gathers 37 Lahr of The Wizard leaves of grass of Oz 11 Song from Sond38 Who we are, in a heim‘s Passion Queen song 12 Absinthe flavoring 40 Part of a Tommy 13 Positioned, as lyric artillery 41 Treated as a sexual 18 Scotsman‘s skirt object design 42 Hanna-Barbera‘s 19 Send toward UraQuick Draw ___ nus 43 Perched like an 23 West Side Story factions eagle 47 Wilder‘s _ ___ Town 24 Bi

25 “I‘m in trouble now!”

26 Mother of Brothers & Sisters 27 Coal porter‘s vehicle?

28 The ___ of Music 30 Whispered to one‘s partner 31 Self-description from one‘s knees?

32 Shoot off to the side 33 Name on an old column 34 One way to cook fruit 36 Stands for the Salt Lake Men’s Choir 39 Defensive successes in Billy Bean‘s sport 40 Prepare for surgery 42 New York‘s ___ of Sex (Luci‘s home) 43 Foaming at the mouth 44 Bridge bid, briefly 45 William of ___ (English philosopher) 46 Triangle, e.g.

47 Actor Milo of Oz 49 Three oceans touch it 50 Vidal‘s Breckinridge 51 Coup target 52 Style of many South Beach buildings 54 State tree of Barney Frank‘s home 55 “Oh yeah? ___ who?“

42 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PETS

Qsaltlake.com |

NKUT Super AdoptiOn

April 2018

Pet Month of the

Calvin

presented by BOBS from Skechers®

Neutered male, orange tabby, short hair 6 years old

May 4 — 5 Legacy Events Center

151 S. 1100 W., Farmington

“Hey there! Calvin here and I’m ready to play! I’m very active and enjoy playing with toys and climbing cat trees! I am snuggly and sweet when I want to be, but sometimes I need my space. I have lived with older children before and did well, although small children can be a little too much for me to handle. I’m a very silly boy who would love to liven up your home! Do you think I could be your new best friend?”

Friday, noon – 7 p.m.

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Hundreds of adorable animals are waiting to meet you!

Adoption fees start at $25.

All pets are spayed or neutered and vaccinated.

Free admission and parking

presented by:

Issue 278 |

with support from:

For more information, go to Best Friends Animal Society–Utah, 2005 S 1100 East, or call 801-574-2454 or go to bestfriendsutah.org

bestfriendsutah.org

q scopes APRIL

Be aware of your breaking point.

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

ARIES March 20–April 19

Your temper will flare a lot this month. Stay grounded as much as possible. Keeping a low profile will ensure staying out of trouble. Being submissive may not feel natural to you, but don’t underestimate the pleasure of letting others do all the work sometimes. You need to relax.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20

Dismiss bad ideas and trust your instincts. Pressure builds as the weather gets hot. Plan for mild celebrations and more fun will come as a result. Though family is important, don’t let drama become a setback.

Many people in your life have entitlement issues. Be strong.

GEMINI May 21–June 20

The next step in a long process is big one, but handling enormous issues is your specialty. Don’t fear showing off talents to those who insist on monitoring your progress. An accumulation of friends is inevitable with all the festive activities going on.

CANCER June 21–July 22

There is a pressure within you, the result of putting your emotions aside to appear stronger to others. Don’t forget: emotions define you and make you the best you can be. Allow the gentle side to show while remaining dominant in action regarding the positions you are passionate about.

LEO July 23–August 22

Put trust into a respected acquaintance. Much can be discovered from this person. Gain levity in a work position and gain favor with the boss. It may not be the most dignified thing to do, but it will help a great deal. Everything is merging into an opportunity. Keep an open mind.

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22

You are an enigma to many people. You will discover this month that you are an enigma to yourself too.

A change in job will draw you closer to the “back alleys” of your mind. What you’ll find there is that the world changes but often, you do not. Fitting in becomes more important.

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22

Much of what you think you know is challenged this month.

A one-on-one encounter with a friend or group will teach you adaptation in a sticky situation. Finding perfection is not about finding literal balance, but enjoying the art of improvisation in surprising key moments.

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21

You will be bombarded with challenges. Are you up for it?

Your spirit may be stretched, but you enjoy the challenge of compromising positions more than you thought. Be flexible and adapt to whatever comes your way to handle obligations with ease. Overcoming a big task gives satisfaction.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22–December 20.

A stubborn horse can still be rode if allowed some roaming privileges. The flow of life will be much the same way, taking detours before arriving at the ultimate goals.

Don’t be in a rush to reach the climax of your journey. Instead, reflect on the discoveries of taking an erratic path this month.

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19

Explore yourself, Capricorn.

Meditate and allow your imagination to explode. The circular path of life returns to a place of reflection this month. What is old is new again, and you will find that a splash of familiarity gives new meanings to old pre-conceptions. Your views are always evolving.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18

The world is a crazy circus. It might be time to create your own act and show the world what you really want. Your family is bound to be putting on the pressure, but don’t overlook their willingness to show support.

Glory comes with risks, so be willing to take a chance and redefine yourself.

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19

The world has been sucking up your spirits lately. While this may seem draining on your soul, don’t forget: your troubles and woes are being swallowed as well. Hold what is dear to you close to your heart, Pisces. Your grasp will hold if you stay true to yourself; the rest will be sucked away. Q

April 2018 |

HEALTH | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 43

Issue 278 | Qsaltlake.com

positive thoughts

We are family Finding family when you don’t think you can make your own.

What Life Does To Your Body,

We undo!

BY JEFF BERRY

One of

the first disco albums I ever owned, We Are Family by Sister Sledge, I didn’t actually buy, but I won in a radio callin contest in the spring of 1979. I was living at home at the time and remember driving down to the local Southwest Michigan radio station to pick it up, excited to have won. The enduring club anthem about having “all my sisters with me” has always been a part of my ethos for my entire adult life, and I still have the vinyl record in my possession. I can’t seem to part with it.

The people in our families can be a source of unconditional love, those who we can always rely on, and will support us no matter what, who share in our joys and accomplishments, and we in theirs.

Families for many can also be a source of frustration, pain, suffering, despair, conflict, anger, resentment and drama.

At one point in my life I thought I might make a good parent, but by the age of 30 I figured I wasn’t able to have a child because I was HIV-positive — the technology and methods that are available today were not around then, or were prohibitively expensive.

I knew though that raising a child would have altered the course of my life for sure, judging by my reaction to my partner Stephen bringing home a puppy one October day in 2010, unannounced (I believe my exact words were, “What have you done?”). I

knew then and still today that there is a lot of work that goes into raising a puppy, let alone a child, but the rewards are immeasurable.

Now that I’m nearing 60 I guess I’ll never know whether I would have been a good parent, but luckily I have other children and people in my life through my extended family with my partner’s sister and nephews, who have always been incredibly welcoming from the very first time I met them.

Families come in all shapes and sizes — there are the families we are born into, and those we choose. I have my relatives, my extended family, my family of friends, and my work family, to name just a few. Families can drive you crazy sometimes.

But if it weren’t for family, I would be lost. We cannot exist in isolation, as much as we think we’d like to sometimes.

We need the social support, connection and interaction with each other, to learn, to grow, to forgive, and to give back. I am grateful for my family and my families, and hope that all of us appreciate them in whatever form or shape they may take. One family is no better than another, but they’re all opportunities for us to stay connected, and to ultimately understand what the good qualities are that we all have in common.

Take care of yourself, and each other. Q Jeff Berry is the editor in chief of Positively Aware magazine. This column is a project of Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, TheBody. com, Q Syndicate, and QSaltLake Magazine.

29

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Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku

Q doku Level: Medium

3 9 5

1 2 6 4 7

4

5 2 1

8 9 1 3 8 4 5 6 2

8

1 7 6 9

3 7

4

9 3 5 1 8 6 6 7 6 1 2 4 6 2 4 6 7 8 9 1 3 2 7 8 5 7 8 4 6 8 3 6 5 1 1 2 3 2 6 5 9 8 4 8 5 3 5 4 9

7 9 2 3 7 5 5 8 6

9 3

5

8

6

1

8 1

9 5 1 8 9 6 2 7

6 3 2 9 8 9 4 7

7 1 9

3

3

9 5 4 1 3 2 2 4 8

44 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FRIVOLIST

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 278 |

April 2018

the frivolist

6

acts of self-care you should already be doing

BY MIKEY ROX

Life comes

at us fast, and it’s getting easier and easier to get lost not only in our circumstances but also in the world around us. Work, friends, family, politics, relationships, past relationships — they all affect us, and not necessarily in a beneficial-to-our-well-being kinda way. That’s why it’s important to step back from it all on a regular basis, take stock of our own physical, emotional and mental health, and give ourselves the self-loving we need.

Here are seven ways to start today.

the bullshit and 1Cut get back to basics

Sometimes you just need to reset, and that means concentrating on your necessities instead of the frivolous BS that consumes your time and energy and, in all likelihood, makes you love and enjoy yourself even less. Clear your head. Get enough sleep.

Drink more water. Eat healthier. Exercise several times a week. These are your startover essentials; none of the other crap matters until your most primitive requirements are met to the best of your ability.

“In addition, start each day with a self-care moment,” adds work-life balance expert Suzanne Brown. “Don’t check your phone first thing to avoid kick-starting your stress. Instead, do a mental self-care check-in before you get out of bed. Take a few moments to see how you’re feeling.

Then you can make mental adjustments so you’re in a better mindset for the day.

It will help in your interactions with your family and co-workers.”

reminder to 2Settakeaadaily deep breath

I listen to Elvis Duran and the Morning Show on Z100, and one of the co-hosts reminds listeners every hour of the show to take a deep breath. I look forward to it every day. Totally one of those things we take for granted, but which can help out a great deal when we’re feeling stressed.

Certified health coach and yogi Angela Rocchio agrees.

“Breathing deep is one of the best ways

to lower stress in the body,” she says. “This is because when you breathe deeply it sends a message to your brain to calm down and relax. The brain then sends this message to your body which slows down your heart rate and decreases your blood pressure.”

To maximize the effects of your deep-breathing routine, Rocchio suggests sitting comfortably with your eyes closed after setting a timer for two to three minutes. Allow yourself to inhale and exhale; do each for the count of five seconds.

“Try not to judge yourself for being distracted when distractions come up,” she continues. “Our brains are just doing their job. When distracted, bring yourself back to the breath. It gets easier over time. Just know that we all struggle with it — even those that have been practicing meditation for years.”

3

Power down and shut those screens off

I’m a slave to my screens, and you probably are too. That’s precisely the reason why I need to go on a social media hiatus occasionally — at the very least deleting the apps from my devices, but sometimes deactivating my accounts temporarily so I don’t tempt myself so easily. It’s worked in the past, and I feel infinitely lighter than when my face is glued to Facebook and Twitter, allowing myself to be affected by all the soul-eating negativity day in and day out.

Dr. Colleen Carroll, bestselling author of Hooked on Screens, details more of the detrimental effects of our digital addiction.

“Adults check their phones approximately 150 times a day,” she reveals. “This is shortening our attention span, creating a tech dependence and instant gratification cycle with social media and gaming, and, at the very least, causing ‘tech neck’ and other back problems.

“Our relationships are suffering, too.

We don’t talk to our spouses as much, and we communicate with most friends via Facebook instead of picking up the phone.

Strong interpersonal relationships are the key to a healthy emotional state at all stages in life. Screens are interfering with making and keeping friends.”

Start small — maybe an hour or two a

day — and expand your time offline as you feel necessary. Put your devices away an hour before bed, too. It’ll help your brain relax and get into sleep mode for a more restful night.

4Escape and let yourself be free

Physically escape when you can — even a quick vacation can revitalize you — but also allow yourself to be yourself, and that might be off the beaten path.

For instance, when I’m feeling particularly stressed and compressed, I like to get naked. But that doesn’t have to mean sex.

Happy-ending massages and nude beaches are a great way to kick back and unwind, but I’ve also enjoyed getaways to clothing-optional resorts, like the Grand Resort and Spa in Fort Lauderdale, where I can let it all hang out with privacy without anybody batting an eye. (A wink my way never hurts though.)

the sunshine — 5Find inside and out

Make a list of all the great things about yourself and everything that’s going right in your life — even if it’s just a few things.

Review that list and remember that while it may seem like you have it bad (or maybe not as good you’d like), there are people out there who have it much worse. Chances are you’re actually quite blessed with your lot in life, comparatively. When you put it into that sort of perspective, you won’t have much left to complain about.

Get out into the sun too — with a proper SPF, of course. It’s scientifically proven that exposure to the sunlight improves our mood, among many other benefits, so when you’re feeling down, seek the ’shine.

to love being 6Learn alone with yourself

I’m an extremely social person, but I schedule “me” time at least once a week. Usually that means taking my pile of magazines to Starbucks to read, but I’m a huge advocate of doing all manner of things alone, including having lunch with me, popping into a nice restaurant for a couple glasses of wine with me, and seeing movies with me. I really enjoy it, because I’m a big fan of me. It’s time for you to be a big fan of you, too. Q Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. Twitter @mikeyrox.

April 2018 |

Issue 278 | Qsaltlake.com

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 45

46 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 278 |

April 2018

the perils of petunia pap smear

A tale of small spaces

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road

to standing straight and tall is fraught with danger and excitement.

Growing up in the closet, in the potato fields of Idaho, I was afraid of many, many things: that someone would suspect I was gay, that I might be trampled by the 5,000 sheep on our farm, that my 4H quilting project might not win a blue ribbon at the county fair. Now that I’m a seasoned drag queen, I am afraid of many fewer things in life. But I still have a few: that no matter what I wear, it will make my ass look huge, that my mascara will run every time I cry watching a movie, that I might be confined in a small space.

My claustrophobia is so severe that most often I’m not able to wear dresses that must be pulled on over my head. I tend to get my head stuck in the armhole, can’t breathe, and end up nearly tearing the garment trying to escape.

I have been experiencing much pain in my lower back; at this point, I sometimes can barely walk. I even have to resort to using one of those walkers. I call it my tractor. When the Matrons of Mayhem are in Wendover with the Big Gay Fun Bus, I use my “tractor” to get around the expansive casinos. I visited my doctor, and he recommended that I have an MRI to see what the problem is. With my claustrophobia, just hearing the sound “MRI” is enough to enter the witness protection program. I begged my doctor

7pm, April 20 First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E fb.me/matronsofmayhem

to give me some medication to calm my nerves during the test. He prescribed three Valium tablets for me, bless his heart.

The time of the test, I downed all three Valium tablets, even though the instructions said to take one pill 30 minutes before the test and take another one if needed. I was getting dressed in one of those stupid hospital gowns. I needed one made by Omar, the tent maker. Oh, the shame. There was a knock on the door and a most handsome technician in form-fitting hospital scrubs that were the most adorable shade of lavender, and wearing a name tag that read Rodney, entered the room and said, “Hello, my name is Rod, and I’ll be taking care of you today.” Oh Rodney, Rodney, Rodney. I thought to myself, “Yes you will, buster!”

Rod turned out to be one of the most gorgeous specimens of humanity that there ever has been. I was nearly speechless. I’m mean he literally took my breath away.

He was built like a gymnast. He had my favorite style of a haircut — the freshly returned missionary look.

Rod led me to the room of torture, but I was so mesmerized by his undulating ass muscles pulsing in his tight scrubs that I forgot to be nervous. He strapped me down to the meat tray that would be sliding me into my imminent doom. Again, his biceps so filled his sleeves, that I was putty in his hands. He handed me a panic button and said that I should push it if I got into trouble, then he smiled at me, and I could swear that there was a little sparkle that glinted off of his teeth, just like in toothpaste commercials.

Then the meat tray began to slide me into the infernal MRI donut. Now we all know that I’m a full-figure girl. And that those MRI machines are designed for a size zero Barbie, not a size 22 Maximus Prime. As my ample ass cheeks entered, they squeezed in. What the hell? Where is the lube? Surely if I’m gonna get pounded like this, I should at least get some lube? I thought, my god, this is like

sausage getting pumped into the animal intestine casing.

Then it advanced to my voluminous stomach, and my arms pressed tightly against my chest, and my shoulders pushed in so much that I felt like the hunchback of Notre Dame. I had no room to breathe. It felt like my eyeballs were going to squirt out of my skull. It’s panic time! What to do? I asked Rod to turn up the air flow to the highest and coldest setting. Then the test began. The deafeningly loud rumbling of the machine commenced. All I could do was shut my eyes, picture Rod’s muscled chest and sing to myself that old church song, “Hold to the Rod”, the Iron Rod. It’s strong and straight and true. The Iron Rod is a gift from God. Then Rod’s sonorous voice came over the speaker, as if it were the voice of God, “Are you doing all right?”

“Okay,” I lied.

We were only five minutes into a 35-minute test. I’m gonna die! Thirty torturous minutes later, I gratefully held Rod’s hand as he helped me off the meat tray.

This story leaves us with several important questions: 1. Even as an adult, I’m still bothered with nightmares of stampeding sheep. Do I need to see a therapist or a butcher?

2. Instead of calling my walker a “tractor,” should I call it my “Breasticle Booster”?

3. When pushing my “tractor” around in Wendover, am I more like a parade float than a pedestrian?

4. Should I be throwing out saltwater taffy to the onlookers?

5. Was it the Valium that made Rod look so dashing?

6. If I had been wearing my breasticles into the machine, would they have poked my eyes out?

7. Did my eyes bug out of my head because of the pressure or to get a better look at Rod? These and other eternal questions will be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

April 2018 |

Issue 278 | Qsaltlake.com

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 47

9

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