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news The top national and world news you should know from last month Out in the movies Movie writer, producer, and gay icon James Ivory said the lack of full-frontal male nudity in Call Me By Your Name, distressed him, as it seems to continue the stigma which keeps gay actors closeted. It distressed many for other reasons. The same shame forced Ivory to keep his 44-year romantic relationship with producing partner Ismail Merchant a secret. Ivory thinks the stigma remains mostly among young male actors, saying there are plenty of out gay actors. He cites Zachary Quinto, Alan Cumming, and Neil Patrick Harris of making no secret of being gay, but they either waited until later in life or had achieved mainstream success before coming out.
Unsung gay hero gets sung Bayard Rustin, the civil rights icon who advised Martin Luther King Jr. and was a lead organizer of the 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, will have a school in Maryland named after him. Rustin was instrumental in King’s success, but his contributions were minimized by some leaders of the movement because he was openly gay since the 1950s. The Montgomery County Board of Education voted 6–2 the name of the school after testimony from students. Jamie
Griffith testified, “As a queer student, I was raised in a society that still attaches shame to my identity. So Bayard Rustin Elementary School is not only a well-deserved homage to a civil rights leader and hero but a way to break the stigma and give hope to future students who no longer have to feel trapped in the closet.”
Dancing on thin ice After open-mouth kissing Gus Kenworthy at the 2018 GLAAD Awards, what’s left for gay sweetheart Adam Rippon? Apparently deigning to join the ranks of has-beens and C-listers on Dancing With the Stars. He didn’t fall during the Olympics, but this fall he will appear on an “all-athlete” season of the ABC TV series. He joins former Olympic figure skater Tonya Harding, former NBA superstar Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, figure skater Mirai Nagasu, MLB Player Johnny Damon, Washington Redskin’s cornerback Josh Norman, Notre Dame women’s basketball star Arike Ogunbowale, luger Chris Mazdzer, snowboarder Jamie Anderson, and softball pitcher Jennie Finch.
Pompeo queried on “gay sex” During CIA Director Mike Pompeo’s hearings on his appointment as U.S. Secretary of State, Sen. Cory Booker, D-N.J., questioned Pompeo’s fitness to be the chief foreign service officer due to previous stands on marriage equality and his opinion about “gay sex.” Pompeo didn’t back away from his opinion on marriage equality but refused to discuss his opinion of “gay sex.” He testified, as CIA director he treated all employees with professional respect and courtesy. “I continue to hold that view,” Pompeo said. Not satisfied, Booker said, “You’re going to be representing this country and their [sic]
values abroad in nations where gay individuals are under untold persecution, untold violence. Your views do matter.”
Georgia prom kings are queens Two of the three boys nominated for Prom King at Georgia’s Chattahoochee High School are a romantic couple, Joel Lerner and Carter Hebert. Students also chose three girls as Queen candidates. The two thought they could win as a couple, but the election rules require a male be King and a female be Queen. The boys say the other students accept them. “We’ve been lucky because we’ve never really been facing discrimination,” Hebert said. They expressed disappointment at the apparent discrimination and had launched a petition to change the title to more neutral Prom Royalty. The school says the ballots are printed, and it’s too late for a change this year.
Win some, lose some in Texas court There was mixed success for a woman claiming she wasn’t hired as an engineer because of her transgender status. She won the legal argument but lost on the evidence. In a first for a federal judge in Texas, the judge who was appointed by George H. W. Bush ruled that workplace discrimination against LGBT people is banned by federal law. The finding declared Title VII of the Civil Rights Act — which prohibits discrimination based on categories like race, color, and sex — also bans discrimination based on sexual orientation and transgender statuses because those are forms of sex discrimination. The final decision was the woman didn’t have enough evidence to prove discrimination occurred. However, future discrimination cases will cite the ruling.
Getting there in the Caribbean The dual Caribbean island nation of Trinidad and Tobago’s high court ruled that colonial-era laws criminalizing consensual sexual activity between same-sex adults were unconstitutional. It makes them the first former British Caribbean colonies to move in that direction. Most former French and Dutch colonies have liberalized sex or marriage laws. However, nine other nations still have criminal punishment for “buggery” on their statute books: Jamaica, Dominica, Barbados, Saint Lucia, Antigua and Barbuda, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Grenada and Saint Kitts and Nevis and Guyana.
A tragic end to a gay rights lawyer David Buckel, a civil rights attorney who was a lead attorney in Lambda Legal’s involvement in the 1990s founding of Salt Lake City’s East High GayStraight Alliance and in the case involving murdered transgender Nebraskan Brandon Teena, died after setting himself on fire in a Brooklyn park. He was the marriage project director and senior counsel at Lambda Legal and was the strategist behind important same-sex marriage cases in New Jersey and Iowa. He had left Lambda Legal and become involved in environmental causes. In a note to the New York Times, he said the reason he decided to end his life by self-immolation with fossil fuels was to make a statement about carbon-based pollution. “Most humans on the planet now breathe air made unhealthy by fossil fuels, and many die early deaths as a result — my early death by fossil fuel reflects what we are doing to ourselves.” If you are having suicidal thoughts, please all the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Q
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Utah Pride Center names new leader BY CAROLYN CAMPBELL
After Robert Moolman’s cousin flew to Salt Lake City, the two drove from the airport to Lucky 13. Even as Moolman showed his relative this quintessential Utah bar, his phone rang with exciting news. Utah Pride Center board of directors chair Sue Robbins offered Moolman the job as executive director of the Utah Pride Center. Would he accept? “Of course I would,” said Moolman, energy and enthusiasm brimming in his South African accent. “It was a lovely moment,” he recalls. The two men finished their meal. Then Moolman remarked how coincidentally close they were to the Pride Center’s new site near 1300 south. “We’re basically around the corner,” he told his passenger, before circling his car around the building where his new position would be. It was one of many visionary moments he’s experienced since accepting his new title. Mike Aguilar, past chair of Utah Pride’s board of directors, shares Moolman’s excitement about a bright future in the new Pride Center location. “In social justice activism, there can be plateaus and downhill experiences in your quest for the highest peak. We are now hiking fast to the highest peak,” he said. Today’s status is the happy result of many people refusing to give up. In 2015, the previous director abruptly resigned. “We were in a state of shock. We didn’t have a leader, we were financially struggling and the board wasn’t as strong,” Aguilar recalls. “We were at rock bottom. We said we might have to close the Center — which, then, we immediately said we couldn’t do that. This organization means too many things to too many people.” Board member emeritus Kent Frogley says Carol Gnade’s skills and willingness in assuming the role of executive director were pivotal to the Center’s survival. “She came into the role with her eyes wide open, having worked in nonprofits, knowing the issues they deal with in raising money and keeping programs running. She had the experience from an operational and strategic point of view. I was thrilled when she wanted to help PHOTO COURTESY OF ROB MOOLMAN
with the transition.” Today, thanks to the persistence of those who persevered, young people can feel welcome and valued at the Pride Center. They can do their homework. Along with youth programming, there are support groups for kids as young as four years old, and groups for men, women and trans adults. A mental health space includes in-house therapists and interns who offer counseling regarding family, individual and gender issues. There is help for suicide survivors. “It is viewed as a safe space where best practice takes place,” says Moolman. The word Ubuntu, a traditional African philosophy, hangs on his wall. Ubuntu reveals that a person is a person through other people. Moolman hopes to bring Ubuntu to his Pride Center work. “What really excited me about working there was seeing the people who enjoy the environment,” he says. The many avenues of help complement Moolman’s experience in education and interaction. As a young teacher, he experienced his first taste of LGBTQ discrimination and school intervention. “It was a first-person lesson in why there needs to be LGBTQ educational work in any organization. The most important lesson was illegitimi non carborundum — a mock-Latin phrase meaning, ‘don’t ever let them bring you down.’” A South African native, he has also lived in Australia. Yet he never imagined he would reside in Salt Lake City. “The perception among our Australian friends was, ‘What are you boys going to do there?’” He grew up in South Africa during the racial segregation of apartheid. “Being exposed to the revolution was one of the things that shaped me into who I am. We, as a country, had to face up to what we did. It made me question what oppression looks like and whether it can be overt and covert,” he said.
“Being gay was something that society didn’t acknowledge as an option,” he says of the 1980s and 90s. “I don’t think I knew a gay person in the town where I lived. There were a few at university, but I wasn’t out at university. It became a tricky dance for me in that I wanted to be a great teacher; in my mind being the gay teacher wasn’t going to stop that.” During 1998 and 1999, he taught at a school that excelled in recognizing the spirit of individualism. Although he wasn’t out then, “that school and that experience, gave me the confidence that in my next job, I wasn’t going to make a big deal about [being gay], but I was also not going to deny it.” He was out to a number of teachers at the next school, a learning institution that he says that held the philosophy that “going to senior school is as much about finding one’s niche in life as having the freedom and encouragement to explore it and become the best one can be.” Continuing to explore his own identity, after a move to Capetown, he started coming out to more and more friends. In 2007, he met his husband, Brad Martin, while on vacation. The relationship preceded his coming out to his family. They were seated together around a table when he said, “I’ll see you guys at Christmas. I’m bringing this guy, Brad, that I’ve been seeing.” His “very kind” sister, said, “Oh, good, it’s about time.” He describes his parents as “stoic South Africans.” “It was one of those situations that makes you wonder why it took so long to tell your family,” says Moolman, “Still, there was a sense of relief — there’s a saying that you’re never really out until you’re out to your family.” Moolman and Martin’s relationship
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continued on a long distance basis with Martin in Australia and Moolman in South Africa. After Moolman moved to Australia in 2010, Martin’s work later led to their relocation in the Beehive State. Martin works for Dyno Nobel, a company that makes mining explosives and fertilizer whose founder also founded the Nobel Peace Prize. “He came over here and was offered a wonderful job with a wonderful team. He kept coming back and forth, and we kept thinking we really should move to Salt Lake City,” Moolman said. Moolman himself had a parttime job that he loved, “but I could actually do the work wherever I needed to, so it made sense to move here, given the opportunity it gave Brad.” They had spoken about getting married while living in Australia, but eventually tied the knot at the Salt Lake County clerk’s office. “I had read the press and was terribly nervous going in, but they couldn’t have been more lovely — to the point where Brad’s brother wants the same officiator to oversee his [heterosexual] marriage.” The couple now live in a house with their two dogs, Rupert and Dudley. Moolman envisions the new Pride Center location continuing to bring people together. “I’d like it to be the first port of call for the community. In our new, larger space, we can host events, develop new leaders and move the cause forward confidently,” he says. “We credit Carol Gnade, the current executive director and the board for this amazing new space to grow into.” In the future, he hopes that the new space will also house other nonprofits relating to the LGBTQ community. “I’m excited to work with people I’ve gotten to know in the organization who are
helping to drive change. I hope there is something I can help them understand in the education and the programming kinds of space,” he said. “Utah is a unique place with a vibrant LBGTQ community that is juxtaposed beside a church where there appears to be hesitancy in starting discussions,” he says. “There is an exciting challenge in opening that door for conversation. I’m hugely respectful of any religious affiliation, particularly of the LDS religion and its sense of family and sense of community. Those are wonderful things that a religion can bring to people, but what I don’t understand is how that community and family sense can lead to young people being excluded from the fold because they are different.” Robbins values the way Moolman analyzes things, and how he reacts to them. “The executive director is required to do a vast array of things. Nonprofits have smaller staffs than a commercial setting. The hiring of an executive director was among the most important work I would ever do. We were excited with the broad base of candidates. Rob has an amazing skill set and his personal skills are exceptional,” Robbins said. “Choosing a new executive director was a lengthy process, as it should have been, but we were able to check all the boxes and come to a great result.” Gnade is grateful to work alongside Moolman’s high energy, great ideas, and love for the community. “I’m looking forward to retirement, but I’m very happy that I had this great experience with such strong board leadership and a wonderful staff committed to community,” she said. “Rob has not only the energy, but also the wisdom to take the Pride Center into the next level.” Q
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Sneak Peek to Utah Pride Festival The Utah Pride Festival 2018 is only a few short weeks out, and the event is not yet fully scheduled, but we at QSaltLake Magazine are itching (in a right way) to share what we have gathered so far. Salt Lake City doled out $200,000 in grants on April 11 to 79 organizations sponsoring arts and cultural events in the city this year — such as street festivals, which includes the Utah Pride Festival. UPF was one of three recipients that promote “diversity, inclusion, cultural identity, economic development, and neighborhood unity.”
Pride Interfaith Service UPF opens May 31 under a warm ray of light at the Pride Interfaith Service. Additional information is forthcoming. June 1 has something for LGBT youth and the more established LGBT community:
Utah Pride Spectacular The Utah Pride Center’s Pride Spectacular will celebrate the past, present, and future of our beautifully diverse community, and as they recognize the recipients of the Dr. Kristen Ries Community Service Award and the Pete Suazo Political Action Award. This year Australian singer Toby Beard will perform. The event is June 1, 6–9:30pm, at Union Event Center, 235 N. 500 West. Tickets at bit.ly/PrideSpectacular.
Pete Suazo Political Action Award Established in 2002 in honor of Senator Pete Suazo’s tireless attempts to pass hate crime legislation in Utah, paired with his continual efforts to remind the Utah State Legislature of the great diversity found in our state. This award is presented to an elected Utah official (past or present) who has demonstrated an exceptional commitment to equal rights for the LGBTQ+ community of Utah through legislation, policy, and declaration.
Dr. Kristen Ries Community Service Award Established in 1987 this award was first presented to Dr. Kristen Ries for her humanitarian efforts in dealing with the AIDS crisis, and forever named in her Toby Beard
honor. This award recognizes outstanding service to the greater lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community in Utah, and is given to an individual(s) who are dedicated to continuing that legacy of service. Those who receive this award are role models for Utah’s LGBTQ+ community, and like Dr. Kristen Ries, “exemplify everything that the award has stood for: compassion, leadership, and courage.” Tickets and nominations for the awards at utahpridecenter.org/festival — nomination deadline is April 21.
Youth Pride Youth Pride, for ages 14–20, occurs Friday, June 1, 8–11pm on the festival grounds at Washington Square, entrance on 500 South and State Street. The beautiful and talented Kimora Blac performs. On Saturday, June 2 events begin at the crack of dawn. Oy!
Outdoors and Proud
Kimora Blac
Starting at 8 am is the Pride 5K run, part of the Outdoors and Proud event. In addition to the race, there’s yoga in the Peace Gardens, fitness challenges, and other healthy lifestyle activities at Jordan Park, 1060 S. 900 West. To guarantee a shirt in your size, please register by May 21. Online registration May 25. Online registration/$40.00 at utahpridecenter.org/festival or onsite registration/$45.
Pride March and Rally If you haven’t entirely cooled down from the run, then take part in the Pride March and Rally that starts at 1 pm, on South Capitol steps, 350 State Street. The march begins at approximately 1:45 pm, from Capitol steps, then south on State Street to South Temple, east on South Temple to 200 East, south on 200 East to 400 South — disbanding at Utah Pride Festival grounds.
Pride Festival The big event, two-days long (literally for some) on June 2–3 is now attended by more than 50,000 people and continues to grow each year. The event runs Saturday, 1–10pm and Sunday, 11am–7pm at Washington Square. The festival also includes a Pride Speakers and Films event the same days but across the street at the Salt Lake Public Library, 210 E. 400 South. More information to come soon.
Utah Pride Parade The exponential growing Utah Pride Parade returns thankfully again without any significant injuries on Sunday, June 3, 10am– noon. Parade route: 200 S. West Temple to 400 East. More information at utahpridecenter.org
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GINA BACHAUER INTERNATIONAL ARTISTS PIANO COMPETITION 2018 JUNE 10–23 ROSE WAGNER PERFORMING ARTS CENTER AND ABRAVANEL HALL
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New Utah Pride Center building to be revealed at an open house BY MICHAEL AARON
Outgoing Utah Pride Center executive director Carol Gnade is almost giddy as she offers to take people on a tour of the new facility on Main Street, south of 13th South.
“And in here, we will be able to house larger events and community meetings,” she says at we walk into a large, window-lined room on the main floor. Last I was there, this area was stacked deep with granite countertops from the bank that once was in the 12,000 square-foot building. The new building was paid for, in part, by the proceeds of the problem-ridden old build-
ing, and funds raised by the Center’s Capital Campaign Committee, directed by Jane Marquardt, Jackie Biskupski and Brett Tolman, with Beano Solomon and Bruce Bastian as honorary directors. Michelle Turpin and Laura Gray were also significant members of the committee. “This building has a huge elevator,” Gnade almost screams. “And 54 parking spaces.” The three-level building will host the youth drop-in center on the bottom floor, an open area with space to lounge around and meeting spaces on the main floor, and more meeting space, staff offices and the mental health center on the top floor. An open house will be held Saturday, May 19, beginning with a ribbon-cutting ceremony at 5:30 and ending at 8:30 p.m. Light snacks and refreshments will be served. Newly-hired executive director Rob Moolman says he hopes the new Center will be a place the LGBT community can be proud of. “We want people to know there is a lot of impactful, important work that will be going on here,” he said. “This will be an exciting, solid place as a cornerstone for our community.” Q
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Kink up your boots for the inaugural Utah Leather Pride Festival May 20 BY TONY HOBDAY
Michael Sanders, a chief organizer of the Utah Leather Pride Festival, said the idea of a leather pride fest surfaced three years ago following a disruption by some “uptight gay men” over the Utah Pride Committee allowing a smaller leather festival within Utah Pride. Sanders said the “uptight” men emailed Pride Festival donors, calling the inclusion of a leather section would be inappropriate and like a “Folsom Street Fair exhibition.” The idea subsequently was yanked. Though the Pride Committee offered to try to get it in the next year, Sanders said, “No thank you. I’ll do this myself.” “I believe this segment of LGBTQ population is misunderstood and misrepresented, though a lot of our traditions have intersected with the gay community,” he said, adding, “Our community does have its problems, but the openness of our sexuality is kind of a big deal here in Utah.” Hence, May 20 launches the First Annual Indoor/Outdoor Utah Leather Pride Festival, celebrating the diverse LGBTQ and pansexual leather/kink/BDSM community in Utah. The one-day celebration features community groups, local and national vendors, a full bar, entertainment, a sandbox, bootblacks, giveaways/prizes, and more.
MR. LEATHER SLUT TITLE AND MS. LEATHER SLUT TITLE COMPETITIONS Following the festival, the annual Mr. and Ms. SL♥UT competitions commence at 8:30 p.m. The mission of the contests is to promote leather culture among the Salt Lake City community. “We are looking for leather men and women who will act as ambassadors to work with various segments of both LGBTQ community and multiple layers of the radical sex communities.” Additionally, titleholders are passionate about activism, charity, and community building. They can articulately express their platform and excite those around them to get involved. To enter the competitions, apply at mrleatherslut.com or msleatherslut.com. Sanders is the current Mr. Leather SL♥UT master, and though stepping down in May, he will participate in the IML event later this year in Chicago. His legacy as Mr. Leather includes being
a dynamic HIV/AIDS prevention crusader, including the testimonial of PrEP, which helps prevent HIV infection — he currently manages PrEP Talks, an initiative dedicated to educating on the wonder treatment. Over the last year, he traveled the state speaking about the leather community and HIV/AIDS, including BDSM symposiums to Westminster College students. Sanders also is a co-founder of the Urban Flea Market in downtown Salt Lake, which opens for its 8th season on May 6. The mission of Utah Leather Pride is “to honor and celebrate our culture and history. To promote activism within the LGBTQ and pansexual leather/kink/ BDSM community and unity through cooperative endeavors that offer entertain-
ment, education, charity, social interaction, and community service.” The festival will be Sunay, May 20, from noonto 8 p.m., at the Sun Trapp, 100 S. 600 West. free admission. Title competitions follow at approximately 8:30 p.m. More information at utahleatherpride.net
Report: Lesbian, gay and bisexual Utahns much more likely to be victims of sexual violence Nearly 10 percent of Utah adults reported that someone had sex or attempted to have sex with them without their consent in their lifetime. But 33 percent of those who said they were gay or lesbian reported they were sexually violated, and over 45 percent of bisexuals said they were. A report on sexual violence recently released by the Utah Department of Health shows the results of a 2016 survey of about 10,000 Utahns over the age of 18. Respondents were not asked if they were transgender. The study used the Centers for Disease Control definition of sexual violence: “sexual activity (sexual touching, harassment or exposure to sexual content) that involves victims who do not consent, or who are unable to consent. There are different forms of sexual violence, including unwanted physical contact and unwanted sexual situations. Anyone can experience sexual violence.” Other demographic groups that showed more than average incidence of sexual violence include those who are currently unemployed at 21 percent, those currently divorced at 18.7 percent, females at 16.4 percent and those who currently earn less than $25,000 a year at 14.9 percent. The department reports that sexual violence leads to negative health outcomes, with those who experienced sexual violence are nearly twice as likely to be a
smoker or binge drinker and nearly three times more likely to be in poor health. The report does not go into why gay, lesbian and bisexual people are so much more likely to be victims of sexual violence, as it merely is reporting the results of the survey. It does, however, go into risk factors, such as societal norms that support violence, like the fact that 42 percent of junior high and high schools have no requirement to educate teachers and staff on sexual violence, that only one in five Utah legislators are women, and that women make only 70 cents to the dollar men make. The department offers five prevention strategies to stop sexual violence: promote social norms that protect against violence, teach skills to prevent sexual violence, provide opportunities to empower and support girls and women, create protective environments, and support victims/survivors to lessen harms. They also report that, in 2011, direct and indirect costs resulting from sexual violence in the state totaled nearly $5 billion. The Utah Coalition Against Sexual Assault operates the Utah Sexual Violence Crisis Line, a 24-hour “safe, confidential service offered to sexual violence survivors anywhere in the state,” at 1-888-421-1100. They also have a sexual assault services map of organizations which can help survivors of sexual assault at ucasa.org/ services. Q
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She’s always been your sunshine.
GIVE A LITTLE BACK. Mother’s Day is May 13th.
Equality Utah to host 8th annual Equality Celebration in So. Utah Every spring for many years, Equality Utah has hosted an incredible evening of love and laughter in southern Utah. The Equality Celebration is a chance for the local LGBTQ community and its allies to come together and (as the name suggests) celebrate all we’ve accomplished in our ongoing quest for equality, as well as inspire continued commitment to the work that lies ahead. This year will honor our continuing belief that “All You Need is Love.” We’re excited to offer delicious food and drinks, a Beatles tribute band, a silent auction and powerful words from speakers and honorees. EU expects approximately 400 people to attend. Join friends, allies, business and community leaders, coming together in the name of love and equality for everyone! It’s going to be an amazing night for all. This year’s theme is the swinging ’60s! Think “Mad Men,” Jackie Kennedy, Steve McQueen, Brigitte Bardot, mini mod dresses, daring prints, and the early hippie
years. And although there is no content advisory for this event, it is a family-friendly WE DELIVER! occasion designed for adults 801-364-4606 and youth ages 12 and older. www.nativeflowercompany.com (Babes in arms only, please.) When: Sat., May 19, 6–9pm Where: The DSU Film Studio NativeFlower_1904_DEV_4M.indd 1 3/20/2018 2:48:38 PM at 317 S. Donlee Dr., St. George Anyone who believes in equality and wants to celebrate it in style is welcome. Good for the entire family. Tickets and sponsorships Not valid with any other offers. are available now! Donations from the Equality Celebration are considered a tax-deductible contribution to the Equality Utah Foundation and helps us provide education and outreach all over Utah. “It is so important that we build a stronger LGBTQ+ community in Southern Utah, and events like this one, Located in Bountiful sponsored by Equality Utah, and Salt Lake City help make it possible,” says Stephen Lambert, EqualSalt Lake Bountiful ity Utah’s Southern Utah 2150 S. Main St 104 425 S. Medical Dr 211 coordinator and co-chair of 801-883-9177 801-397-5220 this year’s Equality Celebration. “It’s literally a matter www.alpenglowdentists.com of saving lives: emotionally, spiritually, and physically.” To schedule an appointment, please call 801.878.1700
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16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS
Obituary: Lindi Marie Inman July 10, 1969 — April 10, 2018 In the early morning hours of April 10, 2018, surrounded by family, Lindi passed from this life into eternity with a playful heart and a warrior’s courage in Murray, Utah. She fought valiantly against an aggressive form of lung cancer and set an example to all of us of how to do so with humor, optimism, and grace. Lindi was born in Salt Lake City, the only daughter of Wayne Carl and Ina Jean Sanders Inman. She grew up in Murray, Utah with her “Big” little brother Bill, and loving extended family. She graduated from Granite High School in 1987 and promptly went to work, serving in several restaurants, working her way from cook and server at Dee’s to Store Manager of McDonald’s and Arby’s. Most recently, Lindi was the Catering Coordinator for Utah with Einstein’s Bagels, a job which she loved and co-workers who supported her through it all. Her work ethic was unmatched, an example she learned from her hard-working parents, and she was known to look after her employees in both their professional and personal lives. Lindi had a passion for helping others, especially children, the homeless, and veterans. Lindi had sponsored fundraisers for No Kid Hungry and the Utah Food Bank. Lindi served in several capacities in the VFW Auxiliary Post 3586 (she was well known for her omelets for Sunday Brunch). She coordinated three years of Homeless Youth backpack drives for the VOA Youth Shelter, as well as providing sack lunches every Sunday through the winter. Her name is on the wall of donors as a tribute to her generosity and selflessness. Lindi also served as a Board Member and Treasurer for the Transgender Education Advocates (TEA) of Utah for four years, lending her hand to providing education, assistance, and support for her friends in the trans* and LGBTQ community. Lindi gave and received love in abundance. She was joined on her life journey by three incredible ladies, to include Jan Pugmire and Karen Parrotte, both of whom she continued
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to care for and respect through the years. She was blessed to spend the last 15 years of her life with her devoted wife Connie, with whom she fought for equal recognition under the law. They celebrated their loving union three times with a Commitment Ceremony in 2003, legal marriage in Seattle on their 10th anniversary and finally, legally in Utah. She believed in marriage, and in her wife, and loved their crazy adventures together. Where one went, the other was always close by. Her greatest treasures, by far, were her daughters, Sarah Marie and Jessie. She enjoyed watching them grow into beautiful young women and was so proud of their strength, kindness, and humor. They are the legacy which she leaves to this world, along with the memories of her dearest family hunting and camping in Flaming Gorge, Christmas and Easter gatherings and sharing in some of the best campfires the canyons ever held. Lindi was a devoted Pittsburgh Steelers fan since the age of 10, loved football, the U of U, Tigger, Minions, Janet Jackson, Philly cheesesteaks, coloring, blowing bubbles, games and simply laughing with whoever was near her. She embodied the best of childlike joy and confident woman. She was a friend to all and a family member to many, both by blood and by choice. Her loss and impact will be deeply felt by many communities all across Utah. Lindi is survived by her loving wife, Connie Anast-Inman of West Valley, Utah;
precious daughters Sarah (Kris) Franklin, Murray, Utah, and Jessie Pugmire, West Jordan, Utah; incredible parents Wayne and Jean Inman, Murray, Utah; brother William (Beth) Inman, Cottonwood, Utah; Sister in law Denise (Ray) Wayman, West Valley City, Utah; Brother in law Chris Anast, Nephi, Utah; nieces Sage Inman and Sarah Anast, Aunts and Uncles Tom (Carol) Sanders, Jayne Sauter, Mike Inman, Betta Inman, Todd (Vicki) Inman, Becky (Dave) Cook; cousins she loved like siblings, too many friends to count and her two special loves, her dogs, Maggie and Georgie. She is preceded in death by her uncle Tim Inman, her Grandparents and mother and father in law. Special thanks to Utah Cancer Specialists and Horizon Home Health and Hospice for their loving care of Lindi. A viewing will be held for Lindi at Valley View Memorial on Sunday April 15 from 5:00 PM to 7:00 PM, located at 4335 W. 4100 S. in West Valley. Celebration of Life for Lindi will be held Monday, April 16 at 11:00 AM at Valley View, with a viewing preceding services at 10:00 AM. The graveside service will follow the funeral at Valley View Memorial. Tributes to Lindi would be well received by the VOA Homeless Youth Shelter, No Kid Hungry or Best Friends Animal Society with the hashtag #LindisLegacy. Online condolences can be received at www.dignitymemorial.com “You are my Sunshine, My Only Sunshine.”
Rob Goulding, SunTrapp owner, dies at 62
Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire Empress Tiana La Shaé announced his death on the Court’s Facebook page: “Today we mourn the loss of long-time supporter of the RCGSE and friend to the community, Rob Goulding. We appreciate Rob welcoming us into the SunTrapp and giving us a place to call home. Thank you for all the wonderful memories and may you Rest In Peace, dear friend.” Messages of love are coming from the community: Kirsten Thomas: Rest in Paradise Uncle Rob! You battled cancer like a champ, you fought with all you had, and you put up one hell of a fight! I promise we will not stop fighting until there is a cure! Thank you for opening the doors to the SunTrapp and keeping some amazing traditions alive. You created one amazing bar for people to kick back, celebrate, have fun with friends, and create a family. You will be missed Q
Sun-Trapp owner Rob Goulding, known to most as Uncle Rob, died Monday. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last summer. Rob was born on December 15, 1955 and passed away at his home in Salt Lake on April 9, 2018 due to cancer. Rob’s family would like to give a special thanks to Mike Repp for all you did for Rob. In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to a charity in Rob’s name. A wake will be held in his honor at The Sun Trapp in Salt Lake City on April 26, 2018 from 6-9 p.m.
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NKUT Super AdoptiOn
presented by BOBS from Skechers®
May 4 — 5 Legacy Events Center
151 S. 1100 W., Farmington Friday, noon – 7 p.m. Saturday, 10 a.m. – 6 p.m.
Hundreds of adorable animals are waiting to meet you! Adoption fees start at $25. All pets are spayed or neutered and vaccinated. Free admission and parking
presented by:
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18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS
views
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quotes “Imagine Dragons isn’t a band. It’s an ideal. It’s a feeling. It’s angst. a desire for more. A plea for help. A celebration of life.” — Dan Reynolds
“We live in times when hate and fear seem stronger. We rise and fall and light from dying embers — remembrances that hope and love last longer. And love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love cannot be killed or swept aside. — actor Lin-Manuel Miranda, Hamilton
“I learned that there’s really no wrong or right, that it was cool to like everything.” — singer Kehlani, on her fluid sexuality
“[Musicians] who live their truth, are probably made fun of every day of their life, and carry on, and wave their flag, and inspire the rest of us.” — Pink, to her daughter on out musical entertainers
“Our journey navigating sexism and homophobia in the music industry has always been interwoven with … your personal histories of injustice and discrimination at home, school, work, and church have inspired us to use our public status to speak out about the struggles of the LGBTQ community.” — Tegan & Sara
“If you know who you are, it takes all the power away from that negativity ... I promise.” — Selena Gomez
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Issue 279 | Qsaltlake.com
who’s your daddy
Not your daddy’s gaydar BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS
The other
day, the boys and I stopped off at Starbucks for a quick coffee. On the way back to the car, I commented on something funny the barista had said, and Gus informed me that the guy was probably gay. What made him think that? Gaydar. Yes, my 15-year old son thinks he has gaydar. Honestly, he wouldn’t be the first straight guy I’ve known who has good instincts about these matters — our friend John has impressive skills in determining who plays on which team. The funny twist is that my gaydar isn’t always what you’d expect from me. I remember when my friend Catherine informed me that our cute new coworker was gay. I had gotten no vibe whatsoever from him — nothing at all. Her thought process grew curiosity. She said that the previous evening they ran into each other and he was with his boyfriend. I was unconvinced. What in the world made her assume the guy was his boyfriend? She looked baffled and, in her charming Irish brogue, replied, “I dunno, Christopher. Maybe when he said, ‘This is my boyfriend.’” Not recognizing a “fellow traveler” pales in comparison to assuming the reverse. Once, when the boys were little, we were at the zoo. As I hung out in the shade waiting for them to finish riding the merry-go-round, I noticed this gay couple with a baby in a stroller. They were adorable. I watched them interact, looking at the map to determine their next zoological destination. I decided they might want to know about the Gay and Lesbian Parents of Utah, a group of ... well, gay parents, who share resources and experiences and get together for different activities. As
I conjured the courage to head toward them, their lovely wives came out of the restroom and joined them. Yup, my gaydar had steered me wrong! Honestly, gaydar isn’t nearly as important to gay kids today as when I was young. Back then, having a “hunch” about who was gay was significant; it helped determine with whom you might share private information, and with whom you might share private parts. Thanks to an impressive evolution in our society, it’s far easier for people to be out and proud than when I was Gus’s age, and they’re publically expressing their sexual orientation earlier than ever before. Gus has a couple of friends at school who are openly gay. That would never have been the case when I was a high school freshman. Now, I’ve said a million times before that these young people, who have the luxury of being out and carefree today, owe a lot of that freedom to the hard-fighting generations who came of age before them. But I also think it’s reciprocal. Their open attitude has reinforced our comfort levels by positively impacting the views of their peers and parents alike. A few weeks ago I was at a conference, and during a sizeable break-out session, I mentioned this column. Then, waiting at the airport for my flight home, a woman looked at me and said, “Hey, you were at the conference. You’re the gay dad.” I’m not sure that everyone else at the gate needed to know that, but I had to laugh when she added, “Well, you were the one that put it out there!” She was right; I had publicly come out to 200 strangers — none of whom had to use gaydar to figure that out. Q
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May 2018
lambda lore
HIV/AIDS in the 80s
Before
BY BEN WILLIAMS
early 1985, the HIV/AIDS Hotline’s 800 number, which operated 6:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m., was the only resource in Utah for seeking information about HIV/AIDS. In February, the Deseret News had reported that four out of the 10 AIDS patients had died since 1983. Among them was 45-year-old Laird S. Larsen, who died in January at Holy Cross Hospital, a month after being diagnosed with AIDS. He had been chairman of the Memory Grove Restoration Project. The article stated that three of the 10 cases diagnosed in the state included nonresidents and that two of those “victims” had died. A fifth death occurred that wasn’t reported because it was diagnosed too late for inclusion in the Epidemiology Bureau’s December Communicable Disease Newsletter. Utah’s first female victim of AIDS was diagnosed in December 1984 and was the first person counted in Utah as contracting the disease from a blood transfusion. At the time of her death, she was the eighth case of AIDS reported in Utah. All the deaths from AIDS at that time were from a specific type of pneumonia. The state epidemiologist, Craig R. Nichols, later reported that since the state began keeping records in 1983, five of 11 resident “victims” had died from the disease. All were between the ages of 24 and 42, nine were male, and the majority homosexual or bisexual. The CDC in 1983 required all states to track residents who had AIDS and died from its symptoms. Anyone who died before 1983 just was not included in state statistics. Thirty-year-old Wyatt Bishop, who died in February in North Carolina, probably was not included in Utah’s health departments AIDS record as he was considered a nonresident and died out of state. Bishop, however, was a former employee of the Sun Tavern and died of pneumonia. Laird and Bishop’s deaths are known only because in March 1985 the
local gay newspaper, The Best Source, began printing the first obituaries of Utah’s gay men who died of AIDS. The encroachment of AIDS into the everyday life of the gay community was such a concern in 1985 that, when the 2nd annual Gay and Lesbian Conference at the University of Utah occurred in March, a panel on sexually transmitted diseases, as well as AIDS, was one of the most well-attended seminars. The “Safe Sex” workshop was sponsored by the Lesbian and Gay Student Union and Gay Community Inc., a gay activist organization created by former LGSU members. The campus seminar was the first in Utah to hold a forum which was open to the general public. No governmental health agency was providing any similar type of discussion to educate or allay the fears of Utahns about the growing health crisis. The keen interest in the workshop indicated the concern among people about the publication of an increase in AIDS cases in Utah and nationally. An infectious disease specialist who practiced out of Holy Cross Hospital, Dr. Kristin Ries, participated on a panel with others who spoke on the importance of preventing the spread of syphilis, gonorrhea, hepatitis, herpes, and AIDS. Dr. Ries broached a taboo subject in Utah when she stressed the use of prophylactics not for birth control but rather to block the exchange of diseases from person to person engaging in sex. By 1985, Ries had been diagnosing and treating most, if not all, of the gay men who had contracted AIDS. The subject of using condoms as protection against sexually transmitted diseases was highly problematic in a state that prohibited nonmarital sexual intercourse. Condoms were located behind pharmaceutical counters and not readily available. In November 1985, the first condom advertisement appeared in Utah which ran in The Best Source. The ad promoted “Trojan Natural Lube Ribbed Rolled Latex Condom — Don’t Leave Home Without One”. Others medical experts participating in the safe-sex seminar recommended that sexually active people should have physical examinations regularly and tested for sexually-transmitted diseases every three
months regardless of whether they have any symptoms. However, the testing for antibodies from the recently available test was controversial in the gay community. An enzyme-linked immunosorbent assay test, also called ELISA or EIA, was a test that detected and measured antibodies in the blood. The test was used to determine if antibodies in the blood were related to specific infectious conditions such as the presence of antibodies to the human T-lymphotropic virus type III, or HTLV3, the former name for Human Immunodeficiency Virus. Early tests using the ELISA method looked for antibodies which are the response of the immune system to HIV. However, there was a lengthy “window” in which a person infected with HIV was able to spread the disease but also test negative for the virus. It was due to the window period from the time one was infected to when antibodies appeared. At the March workshop, for the first time, a public discussion was focused on the new ELISA test that was being used nationally at blood banks for screening. Dr. Ries was concerned about the accuracy of the analysis and explained that a positive result might not necessarily signify the presence of AIDS. She stated that in some cases people notified as being positive had made the mistake of quitting their jobs, preparing for death only to have their illness diagnosed as non-AIDS-related. She stated that the ELISA test was not widely used in Utah mostly because it was expensive. That was to change by mid-year. At another LGSU Conference workshop on “Gay and Lesbian Political
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Dr. Kristen Ries with patient David Sharpton in the 1980s.
Awareness,” the ramifications of taking the ELISA test was discussed. Gay activist David Nelson, editor and co-publisher of The Community Reporter, said, “Not taking the AIDS test is a positive political statement.” He felt, as did others, that such tests for AIDS could be used to discriminate against the gay
community. Many of the workshop participants felt it was virtually impossible to ensure identity protection. The fear of being “outed” was as great or greater than knowing one’s HIV status. That, and the fact there were no treatments of any kind in 1985, made many feel that knowing one’s positive status could hasten the onset of diseases. It was the feeling that everyone must consider themselves infected and use the protection available at the time to stop spreading the virus. On April 1, the Intermountain Red Cross announced it would begin screening for AIDS antibodies in Utah using the ELISA method. The Red Cross later stated, to calm
the public, that they had not found any “tainted blood.” The concept of “tainted
blood” sent chills through the gay community as a way to stigmatize gay men. Q
First Wednesdays at 7pm at the Marmalade Branch Salt Lake City Public Library 280 W 500 N Info at bit.ly/UGHS_Lecture Read ‘This Day in Gay Utah History’ at benwilliamsblogger.blogspot.com
Chiura Obata (American, b. Japan, 1885 –1975), Grand Canyon, May 15, 194 0, detail, watercolor on silk, 17 1/2 x 21 3/4 in., Amber and Richard Sakai Collection
Chiura Obata An American Modern 05.25.18 – 09.02.18
UTAH MUSEUM OF FINE ARTS M A RCIA A ND J O H N PRICE M U SE U M B U IL D ING 4 1 0 Ca m p u s Ce n te r D r i v e Sa l t L a k e Ci ty, U T 8 4 1 1 2
umfa.utah.edu
Organized by the Art, Design & Architecture Museum, UC Santa Barbara; generous support provided by the Terra Foundation for American Art.
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May 2018
creep of the month
Laura Ingraham Rabbi
QSaltLake Magazine is seeking a salesperson who is passionate about our products and wants to see them thrive, knows and loves our community, and can tell advertisers why they want to be part of the fun. Print ad sales, online ma marketing, social media marketing and event marketing. Self-starters preferred. Some sales experience, especially advertising sales would be great. Email a cover letter and resume to editor@qsaltlake.com. Please no calls. Get paid while doing something great for our community. Equal Opportunity.
BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI
David Seidenberg wrote about Laura Ingraham in an April 2 blog post, “Back in 1984, when we were both enrolled at Dartmouth College, she secretly recorded a confidential support group for gay students, and published a transcript in The Dartmouth Review — complete with names of students at the meeting, students who were in the closet, back in the day when being outed could mean getting rejected for jobs and attacked by drunken frat boys.” Many years later she expressed regret. That’s something she apparently has a knack for — reprehensible things — then weakly apologize. Case in point, her recent Twitter tantrum on which she made fun of Parkland-shooting survivor David Hogg for being denied some college acceptance. As you know, Hogg is a high school student. A 17-year-old. A child. Ingraham is, purportedly, a full-grown adult. One without a filter or compassion. Now, when I say Hogg is a child, I’m not saying his opinions and feelings are immature, which Ingraham believes. He has shown himself to be smart, mature, and articulate. Hogg reminds us he’s an angry 17-year-old — rightfully so considering Hogg’s slaughtered high-school classmates. Rightwing pundits freely give “mulligans” to every sin and crime Trump committed, but are keen on attacking the Parkland kids for using the F-word. It isn’t the first time Ingraham has bared fangs at a child. She called the existence of transgender kids as “[A] new
gender-bending phenomenon, which clearly is facilitated and encouraged by a popular culture that seems to have concluded that traditional gender roles are yesterday’s news.” Traditional gender roles used to keep women subservient and men violent and basis for sexism, homophobia, and transphobia, and are what the right-wing loves to champion. It’s sensible considering how their agenda is morally corrupt. Ironically, Ingraham has a gay brother, which you’d think might bring her around on LGBTQ rights, but he doesn’t. She fears Catholics would look bad for discriminating marriage equality. I could go on about the many racist and stupid things Ingraham has said, but you can Google that shit. Instead, we’ll soon look back at when Americans attacked and vilified children who’d survived a mass shooting for demanding an end to gun violence. But more importantly, wonder how a country sustained valuing guns over kids. Assuming we have a future. A country that puts gun rights before its citizens’ safety cannot survive — full of angry white men with guns in MAGA and “Who Farted?” hats. Apparently, it’s not awful to Ingraham. After all, instead of advertisers fleeing her show, her ratings would rocket. She wouldn’t have to apologize, period! Barring that apocalyptic outcome, Ingraham merely should be a better person. Q D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer, and comedian living ith her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBT politics for over a decade. Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.
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Issue 279 | Qsaltlake.com
mr. manners
You get to exhale now
Each
VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 23
Long Live the Queen!
BY ROCK MAGEN
Monday, my partner and I join friends for a movie night at our local movie theater. The group rotates choosing the film, and over time, we’ve seen some excellent movies and some left us shaking our heads. However, this past week one of our friends suggested we see Love, Simon and for the first time since we started this group, I left the theater feeling something new — hope. For those who have not seen Love, Simon I don’t want to ruin it, but I want to talk about the part of the film that left a significant impression on me. Simon asks his mother if she knows he’s gay and her response resonated deeply with me. She replied, “I knew you had a secret. When you were little, you were so carefree. But these last few years, more and more, it almost like I can feel you holding your breath … I need you to hear this: You are still you ... you get to exhale now. You get to be more you than you have been in a very long time. You deserve everything you want.” That scene, coupled with the upcoming Pride festival, made me think about the times where, like Simon, I was holding my breath and preventing myself from being carefree. We each have our
secrets, but I want you to take a moment to reflect and think about what your life would be like if you let those secrets go. Maybe you still need to come out, or you’ve come out with residual guilt hindering your potential. While our situations may not get a Hollywood ending it is still important to focus on ourselves and being happy. Although Pride isn’t precisely the same as secrets, it is a chance for our entire community to breathe. We celebrate who we are, and if it is only for a single parade down the streets of SLC we are carefree — no longer holding our breath. I think life doesn’t always hand these opportunities out. There are roadblocks regardless of where you are in life, and you should take the chance to let down your walls, learn who you are, and who you want to be. As Pride approaches, take time to stop and reflect on what the event means to you. What would you do if you were carefree — even for a day? I wish that we could all have parents like those depicted in Love, Simon but that doesn’t mean that we can’t apply the lessons learned to our lives. Like Simon, it is time to exhale and be more than you have been. You deserve everything you want and more. Q
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24 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
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May 2018
ANNUAL EVENTS
THEATRE
It’s time to channel the swinging ’60s! Think Mad Men, Jackie Kennedy, Steve McQueen, Brigitte Bardot, mini mod dresses, bold prints, and the early hippie years. The 8th annual Equality Utah Celebration floods St. George — again? — themed “All you need is love”. The event includes an opening reception, music by a Beatles tribute band, other fabulous entertainment, hippy drag queens, a silent auction, and dinner (wine included) — other libations will cost you! Then, speed home — lawfully — for the annual Utah Leather Pride event of bondage, sensory deprivation, dominance, and other kinks (or come to my house, LOL). Local and national vendors will be on-site, as well as bootblacks and entertainers. Also, bid on both a silent and live auction for goodies you both eat and wear, and wash without soap.
The most celebrated pop hits from ABBA, who came to define the disco era, are part of the cheerful musical, Mamma Mia!, about a young woman trying to find out who her birth father is on the eve of her wedding on a beautiful Greek island. Then the greatest hits from a crotch, that grew into our souls, are part of the cult classic, The Full Monty, about six British dudes who turn to stripping.
Tony’s Gay Agenda 19
SATURDAY — EQUALITY UTAH CELEBRATION
Unnamed warehouse, 317 S. Donlee Dr., St. George, 6–9 p.m. Tickets $100, equalityutah.org
BY TONY HOBDAY
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SUNDAY — UTAH LEATHER PRIDE
Sun Trapp, 100 S. 600 West, noon–8 p.m. Free
CONCERTS Since making her debut in 2010, K. Flay has spun fearlessly explicit lyrics that show the bright and dark of the world in her head. Gurrrrl! Try being in my head. Anyhoo, this woman rocks the gazebo. Wait, is that the correct expression? See, my head!
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SUNDAY — K. FLAY The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 7 p.m. Tickets $20 adv/$22 day of, smithstix.com
MONTHLY EVENTS This month QTalks welcomes Tan France of Queer Eye, John Meisner of Southern Utah University, and David Kozlowski of the youth program Quit Trip’n. As well as, a duo of student activists who recently organized March for Our Lives SLC: Ermiya Fanaeian and Isaac Reese.
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THURSDAY — THE FULL MONTY
Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main St., Park City, times vary, through June 3. Tickets $23–35, egyptiantheatrecompany.org
VISUAL ARTS Jena Schmidt’s landscape paintings are blueprints of physical structures in nature. By painting geometric abstractions of the tree lines, mountain ridges, and rock formations, she expresses how physical combinations in nature result in the sense of spiritual balance. To make opposites complete, she uses right angles and grids to give direction, and circles to represent the never-ending cycles in nature.
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FRIDAY — JENA SCHMIDT SOLO EXHIBITION: A PART OF EVERYTHING
A Gallery, 1321 S. 2100 East, 10 a.m.–6 p.m., through June 1. Artist reception, May 18, 6–8 p.m. Free
UPCOMING EVENTS June 16, KESHA AND MACKLEMORE, smithstix.com July 20–22, DAMN THESE HEELS FILM FESTIVAL, utahfilmcenter.org July 28, LOVELOUD FESTIVAL, smithstix.com Aug. 9, JACK WHITE, ticketfly.com Sep. 21, THE B-52’S, maverikcenter. com Sep. 22, BECK, smithstix.com
& AE
WEDNESDAY — QTALKS
Salt Lake City Public Library, 210 E. 400 South, 7:30 p.m. Free
SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS
The barbie’s back on at Try-Angles, wheeee! The Facebook event post boasts: “Bring your sinks. Bring your mayo. It’s Cinco De Mayo - Sunday BBQ - Bingo - Beer Church. Well, actually it’s “Sixo (or Seis, if you know actual Spanish) De Miracle Whip” because it’s one day late, but any excuse for a party.” So says Kaden I suppose, that de-miracle whip!
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FRIDAY — MAMMA MIA!
Pioneer Theatre Company, 300 S. 1400 East, UofU, times vary, through May 26. Tickets $42–69, pioneertheatre.org
SUNDAY — FIRST SUNDAY BBQ / BINGO / BEER CHURCH
Club Try-Angles, 251 W. Harvey Milk Blvd., 2 p.m., throughout the summer. The BBQ is $25 per plate. JK, just be super giving
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Wasatch Theatre Company continues 20th season with #MeToo-inspired show benefiting 801 Creative Women Wasatch Theatre Company continues their 20th Anniversary season with a Theresa Rebeck drama about sexism in the workplace, What We’re Up Against, opening April 26 with a special fundraising performance to benefit 801 Creative Women, a group of Utah women in arts that advocate, support, and collaborate with each other. More at 801creativewomen.com. “We chose What We’re Up Against because the issues of workplace safety and discrimination pervade our current climate,” said Jim Martin, WTC artistic director. “We want to give voice to the struggles that women face while trying to be seen and heard as equals in the workplace. We believe theatre can be a great vehicle for moving current conversations forward, and we hope that What We’re Up Against can accomplish this.” The play is a relatable black comedy about gender politics in the workplace. At the center of the story is a woman, newly hired at an architecture firm, who faces extreme sexism that keeps her from doing
her job. Struggling to establish a foothold at the firm, she takes actions that upend the social and workplace status quo. Director Natalia Noble said, “So much of the toxic dynamic displayed in this show is seen in workplaces throughout the nation. These men and women should be respected colleagues, not professional enemies. The distrust, resentment, and even the utter contempt is shocking to watch. At the root of it all, the poison pumping into the corporate veins is toxic masculinity: the privilege, the sense of entitlement, and fear of emasculation by a powerful woman. Until we suck that poison out, What We’re Up Against will remain relevant.” The central character, Eliza, is portrayed by up-and-coming film and theater actress Mary Neville. Some of her recent projects include Alice Avenue in DracMan vs. SuperiorMan at The Off Broadway Theatre and Christine Schoenwalder in Picnic at The Grand Theatre. Film credits include Jayda in the 2018 Not Cinderella’s Type. Rounding out the cast is Levi Brown,
Mary Neville
PHOTO: WHITNEY LEWIS PHOTOGRAPHY
Mike Brown, Stacey Jenson, and Daniel McLeod. Q
WHAT WE’RE UP AGAINST by Theresa Rebeck Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center, Black Box Theatre, 138 W. 300 South April 26 –May 12, Fridays and Saturdays at 8 p.m., Sundays at 2 p.m. Tickets: artsaltlake.org, 801-355-ARTS; $20
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26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | SUMMER ARTS
Qsaltlake.com |
Issue 279 |
May 2018
Second annual LoveLoud Music Festival moves to Salt Lake City Tickets are on sale for the second annual LoveLoud Music Festival, now in Salt Lake City at Rice Eccles Stadium, July 28. Imagine Dragons frontman Dan Reynolds — in response to growing suicide rates among LGBTQ teens — created LoveLoud. The inaugural event, held at Brent Brown Park in Orem, drew over 17,000. Reynolds said last year, “I want LoveLoud to engage a passionate and supportive audience in the fight against teen suicide and to bring communities together to start a conversation that focuses on recognizing individuality.” The LDS church — following initial dispute — welcomed the 2017 festival. “[Applause] to the LoveLoud Festival for LGBTQ Youth’s aim to bring people together to address teen safety and to express respect and love for all of God’s children. We join our voice with all who come together to foster a community of inclusion in which no one faces mistreatment because of who they are or what they believe. We share common beliefs, among them the pricelessness of our youth and the value of families. [Our] hope is this festival, and other related efforts can build respectful communication, better understanding, and civility as we all learn from each other.” The Trevor Project also honored Reynolds. In his speech, he apologized for saying being gay is terrible, while on an LDS mission.
This year’s lineup includes Imagine Dragons, Zedd, Linkin Park’s Mike Shinoda, Grace Vanderwaal, and Neon Trees’ Tyler Glenn. Reynolds’ festival is the meat of the LoveLoud Foundation. The charity “[is to] help ignite the relevant and vital conversation of what it means to unconditionally love, understand, accept and support LGBTQ youth to keep families together.” All proceeds from the festival will go
to local and national LGBTQ charities including Encircle, Trevor Project, and the Tegan and Sara Foundation. “[At] LoveLoud we are determined to create a more loving and accepting environment for them while hoping to raise more than $1 million for LGBTQ charities,” Reynolds said. “We look forward to celebrating diversity while listening to great music and inspiring speakers.” Q Tickets are available at bit.ly/LoveLoud2018
Good Company Theatre presents ‘The Christians’ Good Company Theatre will present the Utah premiere of Lucas Hnath’s big-little play about faith in America, The Christians, directed by Emilio Casillas. After 20 years, Pastor Paul (Michael Solarez) has seen his church grow from a congregation of dozens to thousands. It is a strong testament to the faith he inspires in his followers that after many years the church has finally paid off its debts. When he shares the good news, he also makes another announcement. This one is far more controversial. It’s one that challenges the beliefs of the church to the core. His wife Elizabeth (Nicole Finney), the Associate Pastor (Enrique Garibay), a church elder (Nan Weber), and a congregant (McKalle Dahl) confront Paul about the unexpected change. “This season at Good Company Theatre is about love,” says theatre Co-Director Alicia Washington. “The Christians explores the love
between a church family, and the profound love rooted in religious faith as they are tested by a change in belief.” “I was nervous about the content when I first heard the title of the show,” reflects show Director Emilio Casillas. “Lucas Hnath subverts that, and presents a very relevant and relatable story about the fallout from a change in faith.” The Christians features performances by McKalle Dahl, Nicole Finney (Appropriate, Breaking the Shakespeare Code), Enrique Garibay (In The Heights, The Appeal), Michael Solarez, and Nan Weber. The show runs through May 6, Fridays and Saturdays at 8 p.m., and second Saturdays and Sundays at 4 p.m. Tickets are $20 at goodcotheatre.com and at the door. This show is recommended for general audiences over the age of 12. Good Company Theatre is at 2404 Wall Ave., Ogden.
May 2018 |
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Red Butte Concert Series announced, includes Violent Femmes, KT Tunstall, Modern English The 2018 lineup for the wildly popular Red Butte Garden Outdoor Concert Series was announced and includes many flashbacks to the 80s and 90s as well as today’s popular and up-and-coming singers. May 23 THE DEVIL MAKES THREE with The Wood Brothers and Murder By Death $40/$45 June 12 RYAN ADAMS $41/$46 June 13 VIOLENT FEMMES with Ava Mendoza $37/$42 June 18 LAST SUMMER ON EARTH TOUR: Barenaked Ladies, Better Than Ezra, KT Tunstall $65/$70 June 19 DISPATCH with Nahko and Medicine for the People $48/$53 June 27 MICHAEL FRANTI & SPEARHEAD with Dustin Thomas and Victoria Canal $53/$58 July 3 THE AVETT BROTHERS with Jill Andrews $55/$60 July 13 SHERYL CROW with Caitlyn Smith $76/$81 July 16 COUNTING CROWS $90/$95 July 19 JACKSON BROWNE $62/$67 July 20 RETRO FUTURA TOUR: Belinda Carlisle, ABC, Modern English, The Outfield’s Tony Lewis, Kajagoogoo’s Limahl, Bow Wow Wow’s Annabella $52/$57 July 25 TAJMO BAND with Alicia Michilli $42/$47 July 26 CHRIS ISAAK $48/$53 July 31 BIG HEAD TODD AND THE MONSTERS, TOAD THE WET SPROCK-
ET $43/$48 Aug. 1 UTAH SYMPHONY $34/$39 (tix on sale now) Aug. 2 DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE $50/$55 Aug. 5 BEN HARPER AND CHARLIE MUSSLEWHITE $55/$60 Aug. 7 GREENSKY BLUEGRASS $35/$40 Aug. 9 LOST 80’S LIVE: A Flock of Seagulls, Wang Chung, Farrington & Mann (original vocalists) of When In Rome UK, Men Without Hats $48/$53 Aug. 10 ANGELIQUE KIDJO AND FEMI KUTI $45/$50 Aug. 13 BRANDI CARLILE WITH THE SECRET SISTERS $48/$53 Aug. 15 HUEY LEWIS & THE NEWS $68/$73 Aug. 16 GIPSY KINGS $60/$65 Aug. 21 INDIGO GIRLS $40/$45 Aug. 24 SHAKEY GRAVES with José González & The Brite Lites $32/$37 Sept. 4 GARY CLARK JR. $50/$55 Sept. 10 O.A.R. with Matt Nathanson $52/$57 Sept. 12 TROMBONE SHORTY’S VOODOO THREAUXDOWN: Galactic, Preservation Hall Jazz Band, New Breed Brass Band, with guests Cyril Neville, Kermit Ruffins, Walter Wolfman Washington $62/$67 Sept. 16 RODRIGO Y GABRIELA $46/$51 Sept. 17 BILLY IDOL $67/$72 Tickets are available at redbuttegarden.org/concerts/
15 great concerts
20 minutes north of Salt Lake at the beautiful Kenley Amphitheater SAT, JUNE 9
The Five Browns FRI, JUNE 15
Terry Fator WED, JUNE 20
Twisted Broadway
STARRING BLUE JUPITER SAT, JUNE 23 AN EVENING WITH
Jenny Oaks Baker, Lexi Walker, & Nathan Pacheco SAT, JUNE 30
Night Ranger SAT, JULY 7
British Rock Royalty
THE MUSIC OF LED ZEPPELIN, PINK FLOYD, QUEEN, & THE WHO THU, JULY 19
Arrival From Sweden THE MUSIC OF ABBA SAT, JULY 28
Melissa Etheridge SAT, AUG 4
Simply Three TUE, AUG 14
The Secret Sisters SAT, AUG 18
GENTRI
WED, AUG 22
The Lettermen SAT, AUG 25
Jim Messina WED, SEPT 5
Boz Scaggs SAT, SEPT 8
One Night In Memphis TICKETS @ DAVISARTS.ORG FOR MORE INFO call
801-546-8575
KENLEY AMPHITHEATER 403 N WASATCH DR. LAYTON, UT
28 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | SUMMER ARTS
Qsaltlake.com |
Kristin Chenoweth, Amos Lee among special guest performances at Deer Valley Music Fest Throughout the summer, the Deer Valley Music Festival is the home of the Utah Symphony | Utah Opera (USUO). Now in its 15th year, the festival is bringing an impressive lineup of performances to the stage at Deer Valley Resort’s Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheater. “[The] festival boasts a great mix of musical genres and world-class headliners, presented against the magnificent backdrop of Park City’s spectacular mountain scenery,” said USUO President and CEO Paul Meecham. “We’re excited to celebrate a milestone anniversary of the festival this summer. The symphony started playing shows at Deer Valley Resort in 1985, and it has become our second home.” The festival includes 13 concerts over a six-week period. In sticking with tradition, a Patriotic Celebration concert opens the festival on Saturday, June 30. Concert tickets for the general public go on sale April 17 at 10 a.m. Programming and guest artists subject to change. Performance tickets and lodging information are available by calling 801-533-6683 or online at deervalleymusicfestival.org. For multiple music-filled evenings, the festival offers a Summer Design-A-Series package. Patrons may select four or more concerts from the festival and save 20 percent on single performance ticket prices. For visiting guests, Deer Valley Resort Lodging and Reservation provides a Summer Concert Package for a 20 percent savings on deluxe accommodations and tickets to select concerts. And to comple-
ment any evening concert, Deer Valley also features Gourmet Picnic Bags filled with delicious epicurean items from Deer Valley’s kitchens, with options for children, and gluten-free, vegetarian, and vegan meals. Place orders early and purchase by 5 p.m. the day before the event; no cancellations after that point. For all concerts, guests are welcomed to bring picnics, blankets, and chairs less than nine inches high; pets not allowed. For more information on the Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheater, Deer Valley lodging packages and Gourmet Picnic Bags, visit deervalley.com. To follow summer happenings at the resort on social media, search #deervalleymoment. The complete 2018 season lineup:
PATRIOTIC CELEBRATION STARRING RACHEL POTTER June 30 | 7:30 p.m. John Morris Russell, conductor Rachel Potter, vocalist
DISNEY IN CONCERT: A SILLY SYMPHONY CELEBRATION July 6 | 7:30 p.m. Jerry Steichen, conductor
BROADWAY HITS BY ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER & STEPHEN SONDHEIM July 7 | 7:30 p.m. Jerry Steichen, conductor Debbie Gravitte, vocalist Christiane Noll, vocalist Hugh Panaro, vocalist
ABBA THE CONCERT: A TRIBUTE TO ABBA WITH THE UTAH SYMPHONY July 13 | 7:30 p.m. Conner Gray Covington, conductor
Issue 279 |
May 2018
RICKY SKAGGS & KENTUCKY THUNDER WITH THE UTAH SYMPHONY July 14 | 7:30 p.m. Conner Gray Covington, conductor Ricky Skaggs, guest artist Kentucky Thunder, guest artists
RICK SPRINGFIELD WITH THE UTAH SYMPHONY July 20 | 7:30 p.m. Wolf Kerscheck, conductor Rick Springfield, guest artist
KRISTIN CHENOWETH WITH THE UTAH SYMPHONY July 21 | 7:30 p.m. Kristin Chenoweth, vocalist
AMOS LEE WITH THE UTAH SYMPHONY July 27 | 7:30 p.m. Edwin Outwater, conductor Amos Lee, guest artist
THE MUSIC OF JOHN WILLIAMS July 28 | 7:30 p.m. Edwin Outwater, conductor
THE ’70S VS THE ’80S Aug. 3 | 7:30 p.m. Edwin Outwater, conductor Capathia Jenkins, vocalist
TBD Aug. 4 | 7:30 p.m. Edwin Outwater, conductor
TCHAIKOVSKY’S 1812 OVERTURE AND VIOLIN CONCERTO Aug. 10 | 7:30 p.m. Conner Gray Covington, conductor Benjamin Beilman, violin
CANNONEERS OF THE WASATCH Michaella Calzaretts, chorus master Utah Opera Chorus
THE UTAH SYMPHONY PERFORMS WINDBORNE’S MUSIC OF PINK FLOYD Aug. 11 | 7:30 p.m. Randy Jackson, vocalist
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Finch Lane Gallery exhibitions cut through the surface The Salt Lake City Arts Council presents artists Lenka Konopasek and Sarah Bown Roberts in exhibitions at the Finch Lane Gallery, April 20–June 8. Konopasek’s exhibition, Darker Territory, and Roberts’ exhibition, Head Lands, assemble and break down structures, creating scenes and objects bristling with tension somewhere between beautiful and dangerous. Both artists work with paper, and Roberts includes commonplace objects. Each arranges her works in unexpected combinations, creating new visions from familiar objects. As Konopasek explains, “My handmade paper constructions are explorations into a theme of natural and manmade disasters I have been exploring for the last several years. They represent a collision between nature and people. The work raises questions about longevity, the consequences of human behavior, and differences in cultural or national attitudes.” She contrasts finely crafted and strangely beautiful images against harsh repulsion to draw attention to the beauty of violence and works in paper for its fragility and accessibility. Paper is a material with a long history of being manipulated in many different ways. Roberts believes the process of excavation, at its simplest, is cutting away layers of earth with the intention of discovering artifacts or other ancient materials, a tedious brushing at something, of collecting MillcreekGardens2018.pdf 1 2/12/2018 2:26:01 PM and arranging fragments to assemble meaning. She parallels excavation with personal acts of searching.
“By adding and cutting away accumulated material and arranging fragments I find, I seek to make sense of inner landscapes,” she explains. Each piece is composed of found objects or commonplace materials, such as wax paper, string, and packaging material. As she arranges in unexpected combinations, they gain new life and begin sharing alternative histories. The opening reception and discussions with the artists will be held Friday, April 20, at 5:45 p.m. with Roberts and 6 p.m. with Konopasek. The exhibition, in addition, will be on view during the May 18 Salt Lake Gallery Stroll. Q For more information visit saltlakearts.org
Davis County Arts announces summer concerts, including Melissa Etheridge, the music of ABBA Layton, Utah is home to the intimate Kenley Amphitheater, what the Davis Arts Council calls the “front porch” of the county, for a 15-show concert series titled “Summer Nights with the Stars.” This year, they are bringing in Melissa Etheridge, Terry Fator, GENTRI, and Night Ranger, as well as Twisted Broadway and an ABBA tribute band. Sat., June 9 — THE 5 BROWNS Fri., June 15 — TERRY FATOR Wed., June 20 — TWISTED BROADWAY starring Blue Jupiter Sat., June 23 — An Evening with JENNY OAKS BAKER, LEXI WALKER, & NATHAN PACHECO
Sat., June 30 — NIGHT RANGER Sat., July 7 — BRITISH ROCK ROYALTY Thurs., July 19 — ARRIVAL FROM SWEDEN: The Music of ABBA Sat., July 28 — MELISSA ETHERIDGE Sat., Aug. 4 — SIMPLY THREE Tues., Aug. 14 — THE SECRET SISTERS Sat., Aug. 18 — GENTRI Wed., Aug. 22 — THE LETTERMEN Sat., Aug. 25 — JIM MESSINA Wed., Sep. 5 — BOZ SCAGGS Sat., Sep. 8 — ONE NIGHT IN MEMPHIS Tickets go on sale to the general public on May 1, 10 a.m. at tickets.davisarts.org, over the phone at 801-546-8575, or at the DAC box office at 445 N. Wasatch Dr., Layton. Phone and box office hours are Mon.–Fri., 9 a.m.–2 p.m.
30 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FOOD & DRINK
Qsaltlake.com |
Issue 279 |
May 2018
restaurant review
Energize at Chakra BY JOSHUA JONES AND STEVEN FINAU
“I like
my name; I’m going to keep it.” “You should,” I replied to the slender, lightly-tattooed, slightly-tan-skinned bartender. I had assumed he had picked up a co-worker’s nametag (as does every other bartender in Utah). But, “Luan” was pronounced LewON, not Lew-ANNE, as I had thought. I continue-stumbled with, “I just wasn’t thinking.” Looking down, he quietly said, “It’s fine, I get it a lot.” His smoldering brown eyes with double-lined black eyelashes looked up, and asked, “What can I get you?” The sometimes-quiet Chakra Lounge on State Street opened about a year ago. Steve and I think it may have a perception problem. It’s connected to, and owned by, next door’s Himalayan Kitchen. It’s like a club, with
a bar, that is a lounge and a restaurant. And, the name doesn’t necessarily brand it one way or other. On our first visit, Steve and I spied Luan doing a slight lip-synch and boogie behind the bar — until he caught us lurking, and he became bro again. It was quite adorable. Okay, he’s straight, but that little hip gyration was cute. It was a Wednesday; a quiet crowd drifted in and out. We nibbled on Himalayan Chicken Wings that were wonderfully messy with an Indian-take on the all-American bar food. A lot of curry spices coated the perfectly baked wings. The juicy, sweet, and savory Kathmandu-style sauce was addictive. And, if the wings weren’t wet enough, they served them with raita sauce, like tzatziki. Personally, I like my wings thoroughly lubricated, while Steve generally wants them dry, but he loved the messy and meaty morsels. We both enjoyed the fermented kimchi of crisp vegetables served alongside, rather than the regular rabbit sticks. Our next visit we sat at the
bar. Luan and Laura Jones worked the bar (no relation, but in full disclosure, we are Facebook friends). Laura has been managing the place recently. She said the addition of pool tables, a weekend DJ, and collapsing the name to just Chakra, has helped define the space a little better. At malarkey hours, Laura said the place gets bustling, but we’ll take her word for it. Before we ordered, Luan stretched one arm toward the ceiling, exposing his armpit from his tiny cotton shirt.
Then, his other hand reached toward his belt, lightly scratching his smooth brown skin above his buckle, moving toward his belly button. Finally, his leopard body relaxed, and he looked at us, asking what we’d like to drink. It
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FOOD & DRINK | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 31
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is naively-straight-boy erotic. We tried more small bites, (most of the menu is shareable, priced from $4 to $10). It’s elevated bar food and the curry fried chicken, in the form of nuggets, had a terrifically hard-fried shell protecting a moist, flavorful center. We both loved
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the charred ghobi with roasted turmeric-spiced cauliflower. They weren’t dripping with sauce, not laden with spice (please take note, trendy cauliflower-serving restaurants). Interestingly, Chakra has its own kitchen, but they’re more than happy to give you the full menu from the central kitchen and fetch it. During Pride, it’s always nice to find a quiet escape with air conditioning and a moment to recharge. Like Canella’s and Stoneground, Chakra offers a quick sanctuary with a perfect perch for people watching, both inside the bar and out.
CHAKRA 364 S. State Street Opens at 5 p.m. Monday– Friday, 3 p.m. Saturday– Sunday
(Laura says Chakra will be open early Pride weekend)
University: 258 South 1300 East Cottonwood: 3698 East Ft. Union Blvd.
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32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS
Qsaltlake.com |
Issue 279 |
May 2018
May 2018 |
PUZZLES | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 33
Issue 279 | Qsaltlake.com
Words from Dear Simon
20 It changes a señor’s gender 23 Glen or Glenda: ___ Two Lives ACROSS 24 Baldwin staffer 1 “___ because 25 Dark Angel star you think I look 26 Maude producer like a guy?” (with 27 Name on a column 7-Across) 28 Byron poem 7 See 1-Across 31 Old fruit drink 13 Establishes sexual 32 Bette Davis feature preference? of song 15 Classical guitar 34 Tease great 36 Where Dover 16 Put it to your moved his “bloommouth at a gay in’ arse” rodeo 38 Trojan Horse, e.g. 17 Like the most in39 Lawman Wyatt vogue porn stars 42 “Fifth Beatle” 18 Heal, like a bone Sutcliffe 19 Earhart’s domain DOWN 45 Lover with a pene21 They may be liberal 1 Get into a slip trating glance? 22 “___ because you 2 Pakistan neighbor 46 The Seven Samurai donít look like a 3 Eatery on the director Kurosawa guy” (with 49- and Orient Express 47 Buck of C&W 4 “The best is ___ 66-Across) 48 Family come!” 27 H.S. math course 49 The African Queen 29 How fag hags find 5 A Chorus Line song co-star, informally 6 Versatile vehicle gays 50 Make a pass at 7 To God, to Caesar 51 Small songbird 30 Suffix with hero 8 Guy under J. Edgar? 52 Bugs Bunny’s 33 Was an angel on 9 The whole shebang Broadway Broadway musical? 35 Frank once of the 10 “Ay, ___ a king” 54 Lambda Legal (Shakespeare) House Defense suit, e.g. 37 Hairstylist, maybe 11 Type of personal 55 Garfield’s pal lubricant 58 Sexual ending 39 Pain in an orifice 59 Pitch preceder 40 Male enhancement 12 Goes down on 60 Colette made a 14 Quick bite exaggeration? splash in it 41 Home o’ the brave 15 Small bush 43 XXX, to Greeks 44 Suddenly and completely 49 See 22-Across 51 Goldberg of The Color Purple 53 Opera tenor Caruso 56 Sauce brand 57 Above the horizon 61 Opposite of loads 62 Wilde country 63 Bodybuilder Charles 64 ___ fan tutte 65 Pine for 66 See 22-Across 67 You may go down on one
Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku
Q doku Level: Hard
3 6 7 4 5 3 8 1 7 5 6 2 7 4 1 4 2 8 1 6 9 6 1 2 5 3 1 6 5 5
5
3 7 7 2
3 7 5 4 3 8 6 2 5 4 9 4 5 8 7 5 1 9 6 2 3 5 4
4 6
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8 4 9 7 4 7 3
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34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HEALTH
Qsaltlake.com |
Issue 279 |
May 2018
How to become pregnant — for lesbian couples BY RIXT LIKENAAR
I recently spoke with a lesbian couple trying to have a second baby. They are using the frozen specimen from a sperm bank out of California. After several insemination attempts, they haven’t yet become pregnant. They said they spent $1200 for washed semen per vial instead of $1000 for unwashed. They also said many lesbian couples in Utah have no idea where to start if they desire to get pregnant. Others have conceived by an arrangement made with a consenting male donor, or through semen banks, intrauterine insemination, and other fertility center procedures. For example, transgender or gender-nonconforming patients who want to start testosterone, there’s a recommendation of 15+ eggs, or preservation/freezing of embryos, in vitro fertilization, and surrogacy. Sometimes partners wish to donate eggs to their partner to carry a baby (co-maternity or reciprocal IVF) through egg preservation and IVF. Fortunately, Salt Lake City has several LGBTQ-friendly fertility specialists who help with semen preservation, insemination, and egg preservation. Before attempting pregnancy, it’s important to be healthy. Quit smoking, don’t drink alcohol, decrease sugar intake, exercise regularly, and have a preventive visit with a doctor (including pap smear, STD screening if indicated, discuss medical and family history, and take 400 mcg of folic acid daily — get a TdAP if your vaccinations are not current). According to the 2010 Census, it was estimated that more than 111,000 samesex couples are raising nearly 170,000 biological, adopted, or stepchildren. Among female couples, nearly 24 percent are raising a biological, adopted, or stepchild, compared to 10 percent of male couples. For same-sex, or transgender or gender-nonconforming, couples with a uterus and no semen, find out specifics of donor insemination. The most common means of collecting sperm for insemination is by
masturbation and ejaculation into a container. The number of sperm, the motility, the amount of semen and their shape all are important to determine viability. The number of sperm in semen is essential. Motility, speed, and quality of movement scores between 1–4. The average amount of ejaculate is 2.5 to 5cc. It’s not the amount of semen but rather the concentration of sperm that increases fertilization. Fresh sperm is the most viable chance for conception. It has better mobility and concentration and lives 48–72 hours. Advantages are the sperm lives longer, is less expensive, and likely covers peak days of fertility. Disadvantages include the sample is not tested for STDs and genetic diseases, as well as legal and emotional consequences. Use legal documentation of sperm sale, donor, and parenting agreements. (A Legal Guide for Lesbian & Gay Couples from Nolo, 2016). The average sperm count in a fresh ejaculate is 50 million. Frozen sperm is from a cryo-bank, collected in a sterile container, and mixed with glycerol drops or egg yolk to aid in survival during the freeze/thaw process. Once frozen it’s kept at negative 196 degrees centigrade for a six-month quarantine. Shipped in liquid nitrogen tanks keep it frozen for days. The sample can be thawed in warm water, leaving it at room temperature or against the skin. Though thawed semen survives 24 hours, insemination must occur within 20 minutes. It’s tested for STDs and many genetic disorders.
Frozen sperm can be obtained “washed,” where debris and abnormal sperm are removed to increase concentration and is ready for intrauterine insemination. Frozen semen is lower in volume and motility. A menstrual period happens when fertilization did not occur during the previous cycle but does not guarantee that you are ovulating. Ovulation is the process where the egg leaves the ovary to travel through the tube to wait for the sperm. Tracking your cycles and confirming ovulation is vital to time insemination correctly. You can find out if you’re ovulating by monitoring your basal body temperature — when you wake up, you see a drop in temperature the days before ovulation and an increase after ovulation because of progesterone secretion. Another way is by monitoring your cervical mucus — as your estrogen levels rise at ovulation, the mucus becomes clear and stretchy (you can feel it at the opening of the vagina). Easier is an ovulation predictor test that measures LH (luteinizing hormone) from urine and detects the surge that happens before ovulation. Inseminate within 12 to 24 hours after the test darkens or shows positive. It is best to use the methods together and figuring out how it works months before insemination, so you know when to expect ovulation at the time of insemination. If you’re within 10 percent of people with a uterus who don’t ovulate, fertility prescriptions like clomiphene citrate or
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Issue 279 | Qsaltlake.com
Letrozole often work, followed by hormone injections from a fertility clinic. After closely monitored, ovulation can initiate with an HCG injection.
THERE ARE THREE TYPES OF INSEMINATION INTRAVAGINAL INSEMINATION — The process places the sperm into the vagina with a syringe, often called the turkey-baster method. You can do it at home by yourself or with a partner. It is easier to use a menstrual cup. With fresh semen, have the donor ejaculate in the cup and insert it into the vagina. Practice this before you inseminate, so you know where it goes and doesn’t spill. In the case of frozen sperm, thaw it and put in the cup. After insertion, try to have an orgasm. It dips the cervix into the sperm, helping move it upward. Leave the cup for at least 2 to 3 hours, but less than 12 hours. INTRACERVICAL INSEMINATION — Use a speculum where a partner deposits the sperm, thawed or fresh, around the opening of the cervix, so the sperm doesn’t have to “swim” far. Slowly remove the speculum and lie down for 20 minutes to increase effectiveness. It is an at-home or physician process. INTRAUTERINE INSEMINATION — A process of washed sperm administered by a physician or health practitioner. The sperm, through a unique washing process, imitates what the cervical mucus does — slowly, directly injects into the uterus. The average rate of pregnancy is 8 to 16 percent per month, depending on the usage of frozen versus fresh sperm, intra-vaginal, intra-cervical, or intrauterine insemination. The quickest to conceive is IVF. The least expensive is by the natural cycle
of fresh semen or intrauterine insemination. Reciprocal IVF is where one partner provides the eggs, and the other carries the pregnancy. It allows physical involvement in the pregnancy. The partner who has the embryo implanted will take medications to prepare the uterus for implantation. Menstrual cycles synchronization includes the retrieval of the eggs, fertilized with donor sperm, and placed in the uterus.
OTHER INSEMINATION PROCEDURES UTERINE TRANSPLANTS FOR TRANSGENDER WOMEN — This procedure hasn’t yet received approval for transgender women; however, a few hospitals in the U.S. show interest in doing it soon. SAME-SEX REPRODUCTION FOR MEN — You need sperm, eggs, and a uterus. Some couples use a friend or family member to donate eggs, which raises legal issues (addressed ahead of time). A legal contract is essential. A gestational carrier is a person who will carry the pregnancy. It can be arranged through various agencies or with the help of a reproductive attorney. Sometimes friends or family members offer to be GCs. They need to be someone you trust. A GC who is the egg donor is a “true surrogacy,” which is illegal in many states. It’s important to consult a reproductive endocrinologist and a reproductive attorney since laws differ state to state. Also, it’s important to know whose names are on the birth certificate, and the rights each person will have as a parent. Q Rixt Luikenaar, M.D. FACOG, is a board certified obstetrician and gynecologist with over 15 years of experience and runs Rebirth OB/GYN. She has special interest in Transgender hormone therapy and GLBTQ healthcare, including pregnancy and preventive care.
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36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | SEX
Qsaltlake.com |
Issue 279 |
May 2018
sex in salt lake city
Are sex trafficking laws in our best interest? DR. LAURIE BENNETT-COOK
It’s an
average fickle weather morning in Salt Lake City. Yesterday, it was in the high 60s, and I was driving around with my car top down. Today, I woke up to snow. Upon seeing the snow, I thought about the signing of the Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act and Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act into law and how many more people will have to take to the street because of it. While only signed into law in April, the effects are swift. In case you haven’t heard about the passing of FOSTA/SESTA, let me offer a bit of an explanation. FOSTA/SESTA are a blend two bills framed to the public as a way to come down harder on those who are involved in sex trafficking. While we can all agree that trafficking another human being and forcing someone into a life of sexual engagement is horrible, opposers to the bill warn there will be more people put at risk than helped. The laws work by making various websites criminally liable for what their users do and say on their online platforms and not the users themselves. What’s more, the law is to be made retroactive. Just how far back hasn’t been made clear. Sex trafficking, sex work, and prostitution are terms often used interchange-
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PUZZLE SOLUTIONS
ably. While trafficking and sex work are forms of prostitution, there are stark differences. Trafficking is nonconsensual coercion and exploitation of forced sexual labor. Sex work, on the other hand, is the consensual engagement of transactional sexual interaction. A trafficked person has no agency over their own body or decision-making about what sexual activities take place or with whom. Sex workers have complete agency over their bodies and choose who they interact with and what degree of sexual interaction takes place. As someone who has been a sex worker, and since become a doctoral level sex educator and sexuality counselor, who also happens to work with victims of trafficking, I feel qualified to offer my own opinion about this new law. Until FOSTA/SESTA, sex workers were able to use the internet to screen clients and consult with peers. When Redbook closed down in 2014, there was an almost immediate surge in street work by nearly 20 percent. Sexual assaults also increased, as did STIs. Sex work didn’t end, nor will it. By removing the Internet as a resource, more sex workers undoubtedly will turn to the streets, thus increasing their chances of being harmed and assaulted and possibly trafficked themselves. Additionally, less actual trafficking will be traced as the Internet trail is being defeated. Those trafficked are sometimes, on some level, able to interact with someone who can help them on the other end of the computer. While they are rarely the
ones posting the ads online, and always have another who is censoring their interactions, the possibility of someone catching on that they’re being trafficked is greater. With this law, they are even less likely to be able to reach out to someone who can potentially help them out of their awful circumstance. To add another layer of concern, most people sexually assaulted have a difficult time reporting it, and feeling supported and validated in general. It’s especially true of those who do sex work. With another level of criminality placed upon individual sexual behavior, fewer people are likely to report crimes against them for fear of being held liable. Opposers are also quick to bring to light how FOSTA/SESTA will hinder free speech. Because the law will now hold the website liable, and not the user, it’s highly plausible that various online communities may be scared into screening the speech of their users. By censoring users, different community-based online groups may be less inclined to allow members to speak freely for fear of being prosecuted under FOSTA/SESTA. It’s also likely that already marginalized voices will become silenced when heavy restrictions are in place. Since the passing of FOSTA/SESTA, Craigslist has removed their personals section; Backpage has shut down; there’s talk of online dating apps such as Tinder and Adam for Adam shutting down; and, Google Drive has removed much of its adult content. Trafficking is horrible, and most of us want to do what we can to prevent the harm of another human being. I don’t believe this is the way. Hopefully, with this knowledge, we can open up a conversation about potential solutions that genuinely offer harm reduction. Q.
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May 2018 |
A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37
Issue 279 | Qsaltlake.com
gay writes
Airport irritations: A list BY THOMAS CUSHMAN
Written while on my way to Milwaukee, in January.
Category A: Show some dignity and quiet down
1
Why do gate agents use the P.A. system at the same time? You sit at the end of the terminal (isn’t that redundant?) surrounded by six or eight gates, waiting for your flight to board. But you must hear every update for the flights to Detroit and Denver, to Cancun and Kansas City. “United Airlines flight 7511 to New Orleans is ready for boarding as soon as our missing flight attendant is located” is drowned out by “Delta Flight 667 to Milwaukee is in final boarding stages, all of you unfortunate ticketed passengers should be on board,” which is in turn overwhelmed by, “will the passenger who left an item at Security Checkpoint 7 please return for the missing item?” And how useless is that last kind of announcement anyway? Do you ever remember which security checkpoint you’ve gone through? And who honestly knows they’re missing an item — if you knew, wouldn’t you have returned for it already? People who yell into their cell phone as if it were a soup can on a string. You hear their whole conversation — at least half of it. And it’s usually a completely pointless conversation anyway. I think they’re loud-talking on purpose, as if to say, “look at me, I have a cell phone” Children in Zimbabwe now have cell phones. They are not a mark of status.
2
Category B: Please look in the mirror before leaving your house
1
Full-length sweaters. Ladies, these aren’t hiding your wide
hips. You’re emphasizing them. The stretched out, lumpy, cotton/poly blend is not a Harry Potter Invisibility Cloak. That sweater dress will never look as good as when you first tried it on. Don’t succumb to them; you look cheap, wide, and lazy. Sweatpants. If you are over age 14, stop with the sweatpants. Yes, I know they are comfortable and I imagine they are incredibly easy for traveling. But you are an adult! Suck it up and look like one. Shorts on people at the airport in the middle of winter. Do you do this because you want everyone to know you are traveling to Florida or Mexico or taking a super-exclusive three-day, all-inclusive Disney cruise? It is five degrees below zero. No exaggeration. Do you honestly think jeans will be so uncomfortable when you arrive that you must wear shorts when it’s cold enough to solidify blood in your veins? I am not buying it. You obviously want everyone to know you’re flying south. Don’t you realize that half the people at the airport are doing exactly the same?
2 3
Category C: You’re in my way
1
The clueless wanderers who meander the concourse, drifting left to right to left and then further left and then back to the right; no discernible pattern, impossible to pass when one is in a hurry. They’re drawn to glossy magazines, TV monitors, yogurt shops … anything that’s bright or flashy or trashy. Apparently, these zigzaggers were never taught that in the Western Hemisphere we walk on the right side. When one finally does manage to pull by — maybe having pushed through their left drift and the left concourse wall, and maybe a toddler or two, they have the
nerve to give a look of annoyance, as if you are being rude. In an airport. Speaking of toddlers, the airport isn’t the place to teach them how to walk. They’re like a self-powered carry-on that’s broken free and developed a mind of its own. Don’t you understand how easy it is to trip on your little terrors? Teach it how to walk on your own time, not on mine. I think you must agree that we’d all be much closer to our authentic selves if you’d get the hell out of my way when
2
I am running through the airport, reading my cell phone. And if you would dress nicely and whisper quietly so I can pretend I’m at a museum. And if you would quit throwing it in my face that you are going on a tropical vacation while I am going to work in Milwaukee. In January. Is that so much to ask? I don’ think so. Q Gay Writes is a DiverseCity Series writing group, a program of SLCC’s Community Writing Center. The group meets the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month, 6:30–8 p.m., 210 East 400 S., Ste. 8, Salt Lake.
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MARKETPLACE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 39
Issue 279 | Qsaltlake.com
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The UGLCC Board Members Appreciate You! Find upcoming events at UtahGayChamber.com
40 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY
Qmmunity Groups ALCOHOL & DRUG
Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871 utahaa.org LGBT meetings: Sun. 3p Acceptance Group, UPC, 255 E 400 S Mon. 7p Gay Men’s Stag (Big Book Study), UPC, 255 E 400 S 8p G/Q Women’s Mtg, Disability Law Center (rear), 205 N 400 W Tues. 8:15p Live & Let Live, UPC, 255 E 400 S Wed. 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Fri. 8p Stonewall Group, UPC, 255 E 400 S Crystal Meth Anon crystalmeth.org Sun. 1:30pm Clean, Sober & Proud LGBTQIA+Straight USARA, 180 E 2100 S Thurs. 1p Unity In Sobriety, 175 S 700 E LifeRing Secular Recovery 385-258-3788 liferingutah.org Sun. 10am Univ. Neuropsychiatric Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Mon. 5pm, First Unitarian Church, 569 S 1300 E Tues. 7pm, 6876 S Highland Dr Wed. noon, 2319 Foothill Dr, #120
Weds. 6:30 pm, Univ Neuropsych Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Thurs. 5:30pm, USARA, 180 E 2100 S, #100 Fri. 7pm, 2212 S West Temple #29 Sat. 11am, First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E BUSINESS
LGBTQ-Affirmative Psycho-therapists Guild of Utah lgbtqtherapists.com * jim@lgbtqtherapists.com Utah Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce utahgaychamber.com * info@utahgaychamber.com Vest Pocket Business Coalition vestpocket.org 801-596-8977 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 YWCA of Salt Lake ywca.org/saltlakecity 322 E 300 S 801-537-8600 HEALTH & HIV
Peer Support for Mental Illness — PSMI Thurs 7pm, Utah Pride Ctr (when reopened) Planned Parenthood 654 S 900 E 800-230-PLAN Salt Lake County Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic 660 S 200 E, 4th Floor Walk-ins M–F 10a–4p Appts 385-468-4242 Utah AIDS Foundation utahaids.org
Qsaltlake.com |
* mail@utahaids.org
1408 S 1100 E 801-487-2323 Weber-Morgan Health Mon., Weds 1-4:30p 477 23rd St, Ogden Appt 801-399-7250 HOMELESS SVCS
Volunteers of America Homeless Youth Resource Ctr, ages 15–21 880 S 400 W 801-364-0744 Transition Homes: Young Men’s 801-433-1713 Young Women’s 801-359-5545 LEGAL
Rainbow Law Free Clinic 2nd Thurs 6:30–7:30pm UofU Law School, 383 S University St POLITICAL
Equality Utah equalityutah.org * info@equalityutah.org 175 W 200 S, Ste 1004 801-355-3479 Utah Libertarian Party 6885 S State St #200 888-957-8824 Utah Log Cabin Republicans bit.ly/logcabinutah 801-657-9611 Utah Stonewall Democrats utahstonewalldemocrats.org RELIGIOUS
First Baptist Church firstbaptist-slc.org * office@firstbaptistslc.org 11a Sundays 777 S 1300 E 801-582-4921
Sacred Light of Christ slcchurch.org 823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church wasatchmcc.org 801-889-8764 Sundays, 11a at Mestizo Coffee, 631 W N Temple SOCIAL
1 to 5 Club (bisexual) fb.me/ 1to5ClubUtah The Bonnie and Clyde’s Social Group bit.ly/BonnieClydeSG Alternative Garden Club bit.ly/altgarden * altgardenclub@gmail.com blackBOARD Men’s Kink/Sex/BDSM education, 1st, 3rd Mons. blackbootsslc.org blackBOOTS Kink/BDSM Men’s leather/kink/ fetish/BDSM 4th Sats. blackbootsslc.org Gay Writes writing group, DiverseCity 6:30 pm Mondays Community Writing Ctr, 210 E 400 S Ste 8 Get Outside Utah bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah Men Who Move menwhomove.org OUTreach Utah Ogden outreachutah.org OWLS of Utah (Older, Wiser, Lesbian. Sisters) bit.ly/owlsutah Queer Friends queerfriends.org
Issue 279 |
May 2018
qVinum Wine Tasting qvinum.com fb.me /QVinum/
Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League bit.ly/slgoodtime
Sage Utah, Seniors fb.me/sageutah sageutah@ utahpridecenter.org 801-557-9203
Stonewall Shooting Sports of Utah fb.me/stonewall. sportsofutah
Temple Squares Square Dance Club templesquares.org 801-449-1293 Utah Bears utahbears.com fb.me/utahbears info@utahbears.com Weds 6pm Raw Bean Coffee, 611 W Temple Utah Male Naturists umen.org info@umen.org Utah Pride Center utahpridecenter.org info@ utahpridecenter.org New location soon 801-539-8800 SPORTS
Pride Community Softball League fb.me/utahpride. softballleague pcsl@prideleague.com Q Kickball League fb.me/qsaltlake. kickball Sundays, 10:30, 11:30, Sunnyside Park QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club quacquac.org questions@ quacquac.org
Venture Out Utah facebook.com/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah YOUTH/COLLEGE
Encircle LGBTQ Family and Youth Resource Center encircletogether.org fb.me/encircletogether 91 W 200 S, Provo, Gay-Straight Alliance Network gsanetwork.org Salt Lake Community College LGBTQ+ 8 slcc.edu/lgbtq/ University of Utah LGBT Resource Center 8 lgbt.utah.edu 200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409 801-587-7973 USGA at BYU fb.me/UsgaAtByu Utah State Univ. Access & Diversity Ctr usu.edu/ accesscenter/lgbtqa Utah Valley Univ Spectrum facebook.com/ groups/uvuspectrum Weber State University LGBT Resource Center weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter 801-626-7271
Embracing the health & resilience of our community Utah’s Inclusive Aquatic Club since 1995 BEGINNERS WELCOME EVERYONE’S INVITED
umen.org
May 2018 |
BOOKS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 41
Issue 279 | Qsaltlake.com
book review
REVIEW BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER
“Would You Rather? A Memoir of Growing Up and Coming Out” by Katie Heaney c.2018, Ballantine Books, $16 256 pages You’re late! Oops, you overslept, got caught in traffic, the elevator was slow. Phone lines were down; email was down. You forgot, and you’re late, sorry. Or, as in the new book Would You Rather? by Katie Heaney, your understanding was just a bit delayed. Where do you go when you’re looking for love? For Heaney, it was, well, pretty much anywhere. She’d always wanted a boyfriend, and she’d had a lot of crushes in her life, but she was never meaningfully kissed. At age 21, she went to Madrid for a semester with the hopes of meeting someone, but there were only seven men in the group of a hundred students. In Spain, though, after binge-streaming The L Word and falling for Shane, she began to think that maybe she’s a lesbian. Musing, she messaged her best friend, who let Heaney talk it out and decide that there was a big MAYBE involved. Even so, she never saw herself with a girlfriend. She grew up in the cold of Minnesota, had planned on spending the rest of her life close to home, and moved into an apartment near Minneapolis with her straight best friend, but that was too cozy-comfy. Heaney on-andoff flirted with the possibility of being gay, and she met a woman who was, no question, lesbian, which made her decide to shake herself out of compla-
cency. She visited New York and then moved there. Being in The Big Apple was a big deal, but Heaney remained frustratingly dateless. By age 24, everyone she knew had dated, and she began blogging about it; she wrote a book and noticed that that affected the way men acted toward her. Four years later, her “attraction to men was just … gone,” and picturing herself with a woman came “pretty easily,” which was all it seemed to take: shortly after that, Heaney met Lydia online, and her almost-30-year dating desert became an oasis. She not only imagined herself with a woman, she was with a woman, and nothing felt more right. And now, says Heaney, “I am living with the best roommate I have ever had.” Sometimes funny, sometimes self-depreciatingly cringe-worthy, Would You Rather? is a refreshing change over the I’ve-known-since-Iwas-a-child LGBTQ memoirs. Readers may also notice that it’s a bit overboard. Heaney writes of her journey with a charming awkwardness that endears her to any reader who’s ever felt as though the different drummer they’re marching to is actually playing the bongos: same beat, different crowd. This book will resonate with all who feel left behind in a world where peers are hooked up solid, and frustration mixes with indecisiveness and with self-questioning. Once readers have gotten to the happy not-quite-ending, though, Heaney continues to examine her situation which, while it doesn’t completely ruin the book’s earlier allure, somewhat bruises the story. Still, this book is worthy, if nothing but for its unique coming-out POV. For that, Would You Rather? fits perfectly for memoir-lovers, Heaney fans, and those who bloom late. Q
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42 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PETS
Qsaltlake.com |
Issue 279 |
May 2018
Pet Month of the
adopt MEow!
Harriet
7 years old, female, domestic longhair, diluted calico Harriet is a lady who like things her way. She’d be content being a companion to adult people in a mellow household, as she can get overstimulated. Her favorite spot to relax is in her cubby bed where she can snooze the day away. Harriet does have kidney disease and needs to continue her special diet in her new home.
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q scopes MAY BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS
ARIES March 20–April 19
A failure in communication with a friend can cause some problems. Remember that we are all human, and the failings of others are mistakes, not assaults. More likely than not, a friends carefree attitude is simply their way of dealing with their problems. Take a moment to do the same and simply chill out for a bit.
TAURUS Apr 20–May 20
Feeling that things could be going better right now? Likely this feeling comes from boredom rather than failure. There is always a higher conquest and a goal to accomplish, but only because you want more than you have. Look for some new adventures but don’t lose sight of how good things are right now either.
GEMINI May 21–June 20
Running away from a problem will make it worse. Find creative solutions and everything will turn out for the best. Inspiration will flow from meeting with a good friend or lover. The longer you wait to take action,
801-574-2454 or go to bestfriendsutah.org
the worse the overall results could be. Get it over and done with. Spend time working on the things that matter.
CANCER June 21–July 22
Get used to having your way when things are going well, but don’t lose a sense of objectivity. A hard time is always possible, and leading astray is a real possibility if consideration for the absurd is lost. Have a wild time and get your head clear and in the right place. Only then will the outside stimuli become null and void.
LEO July 23–August 22
your mind and let it go of preconceptions.
LIBRA Sept 23–October 22
There is plenty of room at the table for extra guests, so welcome those who show respect and courtesy. Not everyone is worth your time, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t worth to be found. Keep learning as much as you can about the people you know, and find a sense of place that has been recently absent. Life is complex.
SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21
Don’t let your voice go unheard. But don’t be so loud that you can’t hear others. A workplace conflict can be avoided if fairness in communication can be followed. Obtain something valuable and don’t let it go until it is no longer useful. Life is all about gaining and giving up. Find balance, and validation will always follow.
The quality of a new toy will amaze you beyond belief. Don’t worry if others are jealous, but don’t share with those who are simply looking to take advantage. There is no need to look too deep into a personal situation that has been causing a rift in your belief system. Instead, prioritize and focus on the things you enjoy now.
VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22
Nov. 22–December 20.
A vision of beauty has become the standard for potential lovers, but don’t let it hold you back from seeing others on their own terms. Don’t lose the human element of a personal relationship, but instead realize that not all difficulties are challenges, but simply different perceptions. Expand
SAGITTARIUS
Be wise and advise a friend who is looking for comfort. The consequence for turning away could be dire, so be the friend you know you can be. There is a question in your heart regarding the future of a personal relationship with a family member. Keep interactions light and unity will
become a defining trait in all you do.
CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19
The need to flex the muscle of authority could be a turn off to others. Don’t be so impressed by your accomplishments that it undermines the efforts to gain respect. A friend or lover is finding an obsession rather weary, but don’t let this get you down. Find satisfaction through casual fun and lay off the need to prove yourself.
AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18
The closer you get to the truth of a matter at work, the better you’ll feel about the daily grind. There are a time and place for gossip, or so you are led to believe. In reality, choices are to be made over whether you should say something to a trusted friend or simply keep a secret. Information is power, and discretion is vital.
PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19
A fellowship of friends and lovers is going to lead to nice times. Enjoy what you can and do your best to stay safe. There could be drama, but that is to be expected. No one is trying to bring you down, despite some suggestions. Allow good feelings to be channeled into the work you are doing. It never hurts to feel inspired. Q
May 2018 |
LIFE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 43
Issue 279 | Qsaltlake.com
2 household chores to farm out BY MIKEY ROX
In my
other life as a gay personal finance expert, I write a lot about saving money, but what about time? That’s worth something too, mainly if you can keep more of it by eliminating some of the household chores you dread doing.
2. Yard work/lawn care There’s not much I won’t do around the house — I clean toilets, pick up dog poo, and scrub the bottoms of nasty trash cans every once in a while — but I try to avoid yard work and mowing the lawn at all costs. I don’t like it, and it takes up more of my leisure time in the summer than I want to give up. Hiring a lawn care specialist to tidy up my space so I
can enjoy it is worth the cost to me. It’s about $500 for the first visit after a long winter of neglect (there’s A LOT to clean up on my small parcel of land) .Then about half that or less for a spruce up every other month while the weather is beautiful; to save money, I don’t usually have the backyard serviced from October to May since nobody uses it. I have to mow the lawn a few times in between during the summer, but not
nearly as much as if I didn’t have someone doing the hard parts for me. Rates will vary, of course, but it’s worth the inquiry if you want to wash your hands of it. For for more chorse to farm out, check this story on qsaltlake.com. Q Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He spends his time writing from the beach with his dog Jaxon. Connect on Twitter @mikeyrox.
1. Pet grooming I’ve never attempted to groom my dog — it would probably look like Attack of the Flowbees if I did — but some folks do, like Woroch, who has a shaggy golden doodle who needs regular grooming to keep his hair from matting. “We bathe him in our backyard and dry him using our Shop-Vac in the garage, which saves us some money, but we decided after a couple of years that it was worth sending him to a groomer to get a proper haircut every few months,” she says. “This costs us $80 each time but saves us so much time. We used to spend over two hours trying to cut and buzz him — yes; it took both of us to do — my husband to cut and me to hold him — and another 30 minutes cleaning up mounds of hair, and then another hour the next day fixing the jagged cut. It was the thing we dreaded the most. You can find companies that come to your home to save you the hassle of driving to a groomer and often there are coupons available for pet-store groomers for additional savings.” Check your local papers for pet grooming coupons and deals, daily-deal sites, and the websites of grooming services.
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advertising I do”
44 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | EVENTS
Qsaltlake.com |
—JAY HALLSTROM
SLUG Mag’s Brewstillery: A Local Beer and Spirits Festival
pages Get in the 2018 directory of Utah’s LGBT-friendly businesses today by calling 801-997-9763 or emailing sales@qsaltlake.com
On May 12 at the Gallivan Center, SLUG Mag’s Brewstillery: A Local Beer and Spirits Festival will be SLUG’s second all-local beer festival and first-ever all-local spirits festival—all in one. Two awards will be given for exclusive brews that will be at Brewstillery. Attendees will vote for their favorite exclusive brew for the People’s Choice award, and SLUG “Beer of the Month” columnists Chris and Sylvia Hollands will be the judges for the Best New Brew award. There will also be awards, given to distilleries, to be determined. Visit SLUGMag.com for more information about Brewstillery, and read up on the exclusive offerings at the festival below!
Issue 279 |
May 2018
TICKET INFORMATION Drinking Adults – $20 in advance, $25 day of (Includes a commemorative mug and 5 beverage tokens) Non-Drinking – $5 Kids 12 & Under – FREE
Urban Flea Market Indoor/ Outdoor Market Sunday May 6th s the launch of the 8th annual summer season of the Indoor/Outdoor Urban Flea Market for our 8th Annual Summer Season. The Urban Flea Market will transform The Gateway West Olympic Legacy Plaza into an Outdoor Flea Market with several additional large Indoor retail spaces mixed in to create Salt Lake City’s biggest monthly, Indoor/Outdoor Flea Market! Sunday, May 6th 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. The Gateway, 12 S Rio Grande $2 for adults. Under 12 free.
May 2018 |
NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 45
Issue 279 | Qsaltlake.com
exclusive beers and cocktails Food Trucks Local
Artisans
Saturday, May 12 3 p.m. - 9 p.m. Moab Brewery Mountain West Hard Cider Proper Brewing Company Red Rock Brewing Company RoHa Brewing Project Roosters Brewing Co. Saltfire Brewing Squatters
Strap Tank Brewing Talisman Brewing Uinta Brewing Company UTOG Brewing Company Vernal Brewing Company Wasatch Zion Brewery
Proceeds Benefit MINI of Murray 4767 South Sate Street Murray UT 84107
Gallivan Center 239 S. Main St.
Tickets available at
$25 day of
Price includes commemorative mug + 5 beverage tokens $5 non-drinking
PARTICIPATING BREWERIES 2 Row Brewing Bohemian Brewery Bonneville Brewery Desert Edge Brewery Epic Brewing Company Fisher Brewing Company Hoppers Grill & Brewing Co. Kiitos Brewing
$20 in advance
Age 12 & under free
PARTICIPATING DISTILLERIES Alpine Distilling Beehive Distilling Black Feather Whiskey Dented Brick Distillery Distillery 36 Hammer Spring Distillers
Holystone Distillery Kid Curry Spirits Ogden’s Own Distillery Outlaw Distillery Sugar House Distillery Waterpocket Distillery
46 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FRIVOLIST
5
Qsaltlake.com |
the frivolist
very good reasons why staying friends with your ex(es) is beneficial
BY MIKEY ROX
I have
had some relationships, y’all. None of them went super great. Hence why we’re not still together. But I’ve managed to make friends out of all but one of those boys — four out of five ain’t bad — and I have a certain amount of pride about that. Staying pals with your ex(es) isn’t necessary — sometimes you have to cut it off clean if it’s toxic — but there are benefits to ending things amicably. Here are five reasons why.
1 It’s easier to rekindle the flame
Sometimes we break up because we’re not interested in being with our partners anymore, but other times we “break up” because we need some time and space to figure out what’s best for us individually and for the relationship. I recently separated from my boyfriend of two years because our cohabitation situation wasn’t moving in a positive direction, so I asked him to leave. I only wanted him to leave my house, however, not my life. After a few weeks of arguing and brutal honesty and a whole lot of heartache, we were able to come back to why we fell in love with each other in the first place. We’re not moving in together again anytime soon, but the relationship is on the mend because we put in the work to salvage it. We’re both hopeful that we’ll be a stronger couple because of our issues — and our dedication to being decent human beings to one another through the turbulence — in the future.
kids — if you have 2 The them — will appreciate it
I don’t have kids myself — though I do share custody of my dog with my ex-husband (never an issue because we’ve remained friendly) — but many gay couples these days are parents to children, and it’s easy to use the kids as chips in their breakup games if they’re trying to hurt one another. “I’ve watched children be pawns between parents who hated each other, and they weren’t willing to try and reach a compromise and realize that at one time
this was a person they cared about, loved, planned a future with,” says Patricia Bubash, a licensed professional counselor and author of the book Successful Second Marriages. “Revisiting the reasons, qualities that initially attracted you to your ex, is a good way of seeing them as a person versus just an ex. Keeping animosity and negative feelings toward an ex only hurts the person hanging onto those feelings. It creates inner turmoil, emotional distress —and for what? The other person either ignores it, goes on their way, or confronts it in the same angry way, leading to embattled, embittered adults.” She continues, “Children, especially young children, often feel they are in some way to blame for their parents’ breakup. The few parents I’ve worked with who choose to remain friends, even attend weddings, showers, social events with the ex’s new love, have a better relationship with their children. It’s win-win for everyone.”
a sign that you’re 3 It’sa great catch
One could argue that if you’re not friendly with any of your exes, it might be you who’s an asshole — at least according to Amica Graber, resident relationship expert for TruthFinder, a website that specializes in providing background checking resources for online daters. “Typically we don’t stay on friendly terms with exes who were horrible people or treated us like garbage, and it’s a huge red flag in the dating world when all your exes hate you,” she explains. “Being on friendly terms with an ex usually means that you didn’t act like a complete jerk throughout your relationship.” Relationship expert David Bennett — co-founder of the men’s lifestyle blog The Popular Man — doubles down on that sentiment. “Keeping a good relationship with your ex shows maturity and perspective,” he says. “I would consider someone who got along well with their ex — but [was] not still secretly attracted to them — a keeper. It shows that they have the qualities necessary to be stable in a relationship.”
Issue 279 |
May 2018
They can provide honest 4relationship feedback on your current problems Every relationship will hit a few snags along the way, and who better to help you work through them in the most responsible and open-minded way than an ex who knows who you are and how you approach and react to personal conflict? When my current boyfriend and I were having serious trouble, my ex-husband called to make sure I was OK and we discussed the degradation of the relationship at length. It was helpful for me because he’s one of a few who knows what it’s like to be in a relationship with me and therefore able to provide sometimes hard-to-swallow advice. And that’s what I needed. I didn’t want someone blowing smoke up my ass just to make me feel better. Rather, I needed a swift kick in it to wake up and accept my part in the relationship’s failure so I could start to effectively pick up the pieces and patch up the cracks.
don’t have to break 5andYou up with mutual friends favorite places For the most part, my partners and I have largely kept separate friends, but there are friends that we’ve met as a couple and who have an equal investment in each of us. If the relationship is so sour that you two can’t be in the same room together anymore, somebody will have to sacrifice those relationships too, which only adds insult to injury considering that your romantic relationship is already kaput. “The end of a long-term relationship usually means a custody battle, even if you don’t have any kids,” Graber says. “Turning an ex into a friend means that you can still share those mutual friends, and even go to the same sushi joint on a Friday night without all hell breaking loose.” That’s probably not the best course of action while the wounds are still fresh, of course. But over time, like when you’ve both moved on with new partners, you can start to forge a friendship together that perhaps has hints of your old life. Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He spends his time writing with his dog Jaxon. Connect on Twitter @mikeyrox.
May 2018 |
Issue 279 | Qsaltlake.com
A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 47
48 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD
Qsaltlake.com |
Issue 279 |
May 2018
the perils of petunia pap smear
A tale to breathe or not to breathe BY PETUNIA “C-PAP” SMEAR
The road
to a good night’s sleep is fraught with danger and excitement. A real queen of refinement strives in all things to repress bodily functions and auditory emissions. Truth in advertising, I now ashamedly confess that I snore in my sleep. Oh, the horror! When I was in my 20s, my roommate told me that I purr rather loudly in the night. As years progressed, the “sawing of logs” escalated from a mere “wheezing and blowing” to an all-out “sound of a bull moose in Rutt.” It became such that roommates would sleep in another room. God bless Mr. Pap Smear. He can sleep through an atomic blast. When the Logan Queens went on group camping trips, they would segregate me in a faraway pasture. It was a source of neverending shame for this emerging princess. Eventually, I had the operation where the surgeon goes into the throat and cuts out the soft pallet and the uvula to make the airway larger, and the snoring stops. Gratefully, the procedure greatly diminished my “sounding like a steam engine” to a gentle purr.
7pm, May 18 and June 15 First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E fb.me/matronsofmayhem
Over the years, as this princess has become a queen of somewhat “enhanced gravity” and “physical imensitude” the nocturnal breathing problems have returned and even worsened. Thus, I took a home sleep study that showed I have Sleep Apnea and I wake up at least 127 times an hour to take in a breath. The doctor says it’s time for a C-Pap machine to help me breathe in the night. So, I went to LDS Hospital Sleep Clinic for a C-Pap machine fitting. It was 8 p.m. as I entered the clinic, prepared to stay the night and tortured with all manner of sleeping aids. I prayed for a pretty boy nurse to ease my anxiety. Glory be, the technician, Trent, came whirling around the corner and left me stunned by his beauty. He was 6-foot-2, jet-black hair, and soulful brown eyes that could search my soul. His biceps filled the arms of his lavender hospital scrubs completely. You could launder clothing on his washboard stomach. The package in his pants was ever so prominently displayed, not to mention those buns of steel. OH! MY! GAWD! How am I to breathe naturally with this “Heavy Breathing Initiator” in my vicinity? So, dreamily, I sat there as he instructed on the different types of masks to choose. Since I’m extremely claustrophobic, I decided on a simple nose piece that didn’t cover my face. Then Trent prepared me for the study. It entailed wire electrodes all over my head and body. I barely contained myself as Trent straddled my legs, measured my head, and drew marks all over the place with a grease pencil. Of course, in this position, there was only one thing I could look at in the universe. There were only a few inches from my welcoming mouth as he stroked through my hair, and the fabric of his shirt drooped and brushed my cheeks, the scent of soap and a light musky fragrance wafted from his chest. He breathed ever so slightly into my ear. I was in heaven. Surely Trent and I could run away from the hospital to the beach-
es of Tahiti and live happily ever after. I’m sure we could have made beautiful babies together. However, I was drawn back to reality when Trent needed to place an electrode inside my shirt. He reached inside my neckline, and his hand stroked my naked chest, and then suddenly, horribly the magic disappeared as he counted down to the third roll of fat to place the wire. Oh, the shame. Then to immediately repeat the horror by counting down to the third roll on the left side. Next came the gluing of electrodes to my head, in my hair. It was slightly uncomfortable as Trent grounded each wire with a patch of glue. It went on for about 30 minutes. Finally, the mask went over my nose. I looked like a Borg from Star Trek. “Resistance is futile!” I fell asleep quickly, knowing that Trent was watching me on camera. I dreamt I was on a spaceship, and there had been rupture of the hull, and the air was escaping into space. I was gasping for air, and couldn’t understand why Trent hadn’t put up a force field to seal the air leak. The valiant rescuer came into the room, adjusted my chin strap, stopping the leak. Alas, 5 a.m. arrived, and Trent kicked my pile of Borg roadkill unceremoniously out. Well, I had only one course of action — bacon, egg and cheese biscuit at McDonald’s drive-thru. This story leaves us with several important questions: 1. When camping, did my “calling of the hogs” function as a warning beacon to frighten off wolves and such? 2. Could my “night thunder” have been used as a fog horn for lost hikers? 3. When I had the surgery, should I have claimed I fell among cutthroats? 4. Did I choose the small nose piece because it’s easier to bedazzle? These and other eternal questions will be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q
May 2018 |
Issue 279 | Qsaltlake.com
NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 49
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