QSaltLake Magazine - 292 - Jan 17, 2019

2018 IN REVIEW • UTAH HATE CRIME BILL TRY #4 • EX-GAY THERAPY LEGISLATION • POLYAMORY 101

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from the publisher

Choosing a ‘Person of the Year’

BY MICHAEL AARON

Going about

choosing the person of the year is a daunting task.

There are a ton of people in Utah’s LGBT community who do great work. And, unfortunately, there are a ton of people — mostly legislators — who work against our community as well.

The person of the year is not necessarily an award, especially if we are calling out those who have sided on the “worse” part of the designation: “The person or persons who have made the greatest impact on Utah’s LGBT community for better or worse in the past year.”

We’ve named people like LDS leaders (for obvious reasons) and Larry H. Miller (for his choosing not to run the film Brokeback Mountain).

I love, however, when the choice can be someone in the community doing good.

In past years, we’ve chosen Misty Snow for her open and honest campaign for the U.S. Senate. A group of community volunteer leaders was on the cover as Persons of the Year because so much of what makes our community great are the multitude of organizations run selflessly by them. The plaintiffs who sued the state for same-sex marriage were Persons of the Year five years ago. Sister Dottie S. Dixon, who was reaching people outside the community with a loving message was our choice in 2011.

And three strong female leaders who progressed anti-discrimination laws and many other positive things in Salt Lake City and County was a personal favorite.

This year we accepted nominees, as we have often done, and many great names were put forth. I personally narrowed the field to three and found myself at a road block.

Luckily, I have many people who I reach out to when I need advice. I chose six and asked for their opinions. The first three to come back chose Person 1, Person 2 and Person 3. Thanks, that’s a lot of help. But then a few of my mentors spent quite a deal of time and effort writing not only their choice, but laid out their reasons.

So, with all that, we can now reveal that we have chosen a newcomer to Utah who has taken up the mantle of our Utah Pride Center: Rob Moolman. Please see the article on page 12 for our reasoning. Happy New Year! Q

Issue 292 | JANUARY 17, 2019

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publisher/editor Michael Aaron

ASSISTANT editor Tony Hobday NATIONAL NEWS editor Craig Ogan designer Christian Allred sales Ken Stowe, 801-997-9763 x1 sales@qsaltlake.com contributors Joshua Adamson Pickett, Diane Anderson-Minshall, Chris Azzopardi, Paul Berge, Jeff Berry, Paul Campbell, Laurie Bennett-Cook, Stephen Dark, Jennifer Dobner, Mikki Enoch, Jack Fertig, Greg Fox, Charles Lynn Frost, Oriol Gutierrez Jr., John Hales, Ryan Haymore, Tony Hobday, Joshua Jones, Christopher Katis, Rock Magen, Sam Mills, Craig Ogan, Mikey Rox, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Gregg Shapiro, Petunia Pap Smear, Steven Petrow, Ed Sikov, JoSelle Vanderhooft, Ben ­Williams, D’Anne ­Witkowski distribution Bradley Jay Crookston,

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6 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

news The top national and world news since last issue you should know

BY CRAIG OGAN

First avowed bi senator, ‘What did she wear?’

Not sure how historic this really is, but Kyrsten Sinema is the first avowedly bisexual person to be sworn in to the U.S. Senate. The Twitter-verse tittered about what she wore: a pink coat worn over a sleeveless white blouse with matching bracelet, flower-print skirt and a fur “shawl”.

Some Tweeters described her as, “The first openly bisexual senator and the first-ever Mamie Van Doren cosplayer,” (Under 60-year-olds should Google that). She was also compared to a Harry Potter character and Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde. One Tweeter called her fashion choice “weaponized sexuality” and suggested there was no gender who wouldn’t want to have sex with her. (Gay men to the back of the line.)

Sworn in at the same time, the other Arizona senator, Martha McSally wore a purple dress and Nancy Pelosi wore hot pink but received no Twitter action. Sinema was sworn in by Vice President Pence who nodded her announced sexuality by saying he’d meet with her alone, but only half the time.

PnP turns fatal in WeHo West Hollywood activists are calling on the newly elected Los Angeles County Sheriff to investigate deaths by overdose of two men in the WeHo

Qsaltlake.com |

apartment of political activist, Ed Buck. They claim Buck is being protected by the L.A. Mayor’s office, the County district attorney, and the previous county sheriff because he has been a big donor to Hillary Clinton, state Gov. Jerry Brown, L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti, and numerous West Hollywood city council members.

A previous overdose death in the 60-year-old Buck’s home was ruled accidental. The first victim is said to have written in his journal that his first injection of crystal meth was administered by Buck and he subsequently became addicted to the drug.

Sorry for Spacey?

When is it OK to feel sorry for Kevin Spacey? After pleading not guilty to charges at an arraignment for groping a man in Nantucket, the man’s mother held a press conference where she described the assault, which took place during a bout of “drinking” with Spacey, where the 18-year-old claimed to be 23.

She said her son “froze” due to Spacey’s action but didn’t reveal how and when the man unfroze long enough to shoot a video and send it via Snapchat to his girlfriend. Adding insult to injury, driving home from the arraignment Spacey was stopped

by Highway Patrol for speeding.

A historic number of LGBT people have joined Congress Ten self-identifying LGBT politicians were sworn into the 116th U.S. Congress Jan. 10 — two in the U.S. Senate and eight in the House of Representatives.

Annise Parker, president and CEO of the LGBTQ Victory Institute said, “A historic number of LGBTQ people will serve in the new U.S. Congress and their influence will shape the debate on

Issue 292 | JANUARY 17, 2019

Cultural appropriation?

A non-gay actor who got his first big role as a gay teen, Timothée Chalamet, created online controversy about ripping off real-gay skater/dancer Adam Rippon’s look from the 2018 Oscars. Recall, Rippon wore a leather harness and “air” epaulettes as part of his red carpet walk.

At the Golden Globes, Chalamet, not trying to look gay at all, wore something that looked like a harness, a custom, sequin number from Louis Vuitton with an embroidered bib, finishing off the look with four bracelets, two rings, and cuff links from Cartier.

Comments ranged from approval to opprobrium. equality legislation and issues moving forward.”

The now-sitting LGBT legislators are Sen. Tammy Baldwin (D-Wis.), Rep. David Cicilline (D-R.I.), Rep. Angie Craig (D-Minn.), Rep. Sharice Davids (D-Kan.), Rep. Katie Hill (D-Calif.), Rep. Sean Patrick Maloney (D-N.Y.), Rep. Chris Pappas (D-N.H.), Rep. Mark Pocan (D-Wisc.), Sen. Kyrsten Sinema (D-Ariz.), and Rep. Mark Takano (D-Calif.).

Pastor steps on his dick An anti-gay Baptist pastor, Donnie Romero, resigns after admitting to sexual misconduct. He also really hated gays and lesbians, and in a sermon celebrated the Pulse nightclub shooting by saying, “These 50 sodomites are all perverts and pedophiles, and they are the scum of the earth. The earth is a little bit better place now.”

He cryptically announced leaving his post in a sermon but the man who originally ordained him was less cryptic, posting a video to YouTube saying, “Basically, the major sin involved was being with prostitutes. Then there were also marijuana and gambling.”

Gay games A baby step for gays in the gay-shy “gaming business,” where most male characters are portrayed as straight but look like a male gay BDSM fantasy, came when the Soldier 76 character in Overwatch, a popular multiplayer game with over 40 million monthly players, was identified as gay.

In a storyline, he was outed while lamenting the difficulty of sustaining romantic relationships. His lost love, named Vincent, married someone else, with Soldier 76 saying, “Vincent deserved a happier life than the one I could give him.”

This is the second openly gay or lesbian character in Overwatch. The first was Tracer, a lesbian pilot of a “time leaping” Subaru with a girlfriend named Emily and a Labrador retriever.

Straight washing, gay washing, line dry Scottish actor Ewan McGregor will play the role of iconic fashion designer Halston in a new TV series directed by American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace

JANUARY 17, 2019 |

Issue 292 | Qsaltlake.com

director Dan Minahan. Halston was a 1970s fashion celebrity whose designs were worn by Elizabeth Taylor and Bianca Jagger. He died in 1990 from AIDS-related complications.

Gay British actor Ben Whishaw won a Golden Globe for his role as one-half of a gay scandal in A Very British Scandal with Hugh Grant. He was the lead in London Spy where his character’s gay life was a key plot point and played the seemingly gay-straight dad in the current Mary Poppins Returns.

He wishes gay actors could get hired to play straight roles.

Apparently, he’s ignorant of Rock Hudson, Tab Hunter, Montgomery Clift, John Gielgud, Ian McKellan, Cheyenne Jackson, Zachary Quinto, etc. He pleads they should have an “even playing field” with heterosexual actors to play characters of any orientation. Other entertainment figures, including Matt Damon, have advised gay actors to stay in the closet, lest they damage their careers.

Polis, first gay governor Another Rocky Mountain “high” was achieved by Jared Polis as he was sworn in, making him the first openly gay man to serve as governor of a U.S. state. He’s also Colorado’s first Jewish governor.

Polis’ partner and “first gentleman” Marlon Reis attended the ceremony, as did their two children, Caspian and Cora.

Polis is a former member of the U.S. Congress from Boulder and was an internet tycoon before running for office. Cyndi Lauper performed at Polis’ inaugural ball in Denver.

Hart to Heart on Oscars For those who care, Kevin Hart says he’s done addressing his past anti-gay comments and stated definitely that he will not host the Academy Awards ceremony this year.

He was defended by Ellen DeGeneres on her talk show

saying he had apologized and evolved. She encouraged him to host the Oscars so “those people” don’t win. However, he made his “I’m done” declaration to the Oscars new host Michael Strahan (the bestdressed man on NFL Today) on Good Morning America.

So hard to get anything done After 200 attempts since 1918, an anti-lynching bill unanimously passed the U.S. Senate.

The bill was sponsored by California Democratic Sen. Kamala Harris, New Jersey Democratic Sen. Cory Booker, and South Carolina Republican Sen. Tim Scott. Liberty Counsel, an organization dubbed a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center, wants to strip LGBT protections from the bill as it moves through the U.S. House of Representatives.

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 7

Call Wharton O’Brien Law

15-year-old remarks wake woke scolds It didn’t take long for the woke-mob to find 15-year-old comments they call “homophobic” to bash somewhat conservative Democrat and declared presidential candidate Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D-Hawaii).

In 2002 and 2004 as a member of the Hawaii Legislature, she lobbied and testified against a bill to recognize same-sex civil unions saying, “As Democrats, we should be representing the views of the people, not a small number of homosexual extremists.”

Since then she has been supportive, backing a bill targeting discrimination based on sexual orientation and endorsed Bernie Sanders’ presidential bid in 2016 which cost her the post as Democratic National Committee vice chair.

Gabbard was elected to the U.S. House in 2012 and was the first Hindu member of Congress and one of Congress’ first female combat veterans.

Wharton O’Brien, PLLC 165 S Main Street, Suite 200 Salt Lake City, Utah 84111 chriswhartonlaw.com

8 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

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Issue 292 | JANUARY 17, 2019

Utah Sen. Lee single-handedly blocks lesbian EEOC appointment Utah Sen. Mike Lee has single-handedly blocked the nomination of lesbian attorney Chai Feldblum to a third term on the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.

In a Dec. 19 Senate floor discussion on the Feldblum nomination, Lee invoked a long-standing Senate rule that gives a single senator the ability to indefinitely hold up and potentially kill a presidential nomination for a non-judicial appointment by declaring an objection to the nominee.

In keeping with another longstanding tradition of bipartisan cooperation in approving nominees to the five-member EEOC, President Donald Trump earlier this year agreed to a request by Senate Democrats that he nominate Feldblum for a third term on the EEOC. At the same time, Trump nominated two others to the EEOC at the request of Senate Republicans.

Trump was following a tradition carried out by nearly every U.S. president since the EEOC was created by Congress in 1965 to enforce the employment nondiscrimination provisions of the U.S. Civil Rights Act of 1964. Since that time three of the five commissioners have been selected for a four-year term by the party that holds the presidency while the other two have been selected by the minority party.

Sen. Patty Murray, D-Wash., who has led efforts in support Feldblum’s nomination, pointed out in remarks on the Senate floor on Wednesday that the Senate has approved nearly all EEOC nominees by a unanimous consent. When she asked for unanimous consent for the confirmation of Feldblum along with GOP nominees Janel Dhillon and Daniel Gade, Lee objected.

Among other things, Lee accused Feldblum of being a strong and unreasonable opponent of “religious freedom” and claimed Feldblum has stated openly that in employment discrimination cases, an employer cannot cite religious beliefs as a legal ground for refusing to hire someone.

“Ms. Feldblum has written that she sees a conflict between religious belief and LGBT liberty as ‘a zero-sum game’ where ‘a gain for one side necessarily entails a corresponding loss for the other side,’”

Lee quoted Feldblum as saying.

“These are not the words of an open-minded lawyer,” he continued. “These are the words of an activist intent on stamping out all opposition to her cause.”

Lee also said he opposes Feldblum’s nomination because of her longstanding and active role in pushing for legalizing same-sex marriage, something Lee said he strongly opposes because it’s at odds with his religious beliefs.

Murray disputed Lee’s interpretation of Feldblum’s statements pertaining to the issue of employment discrimination. She also pointed out that by blocking a resolution for the joint approval of Feldblum and the other two nominees, Lee’s action would result in the lack of a quorum on the EEOC because there would be just two of the five commissioners in office beginning on Jan. 1.

Such a development could prevent the EEOC from deciding on important employment discrimination and sexual harassment cases expected to be brought before the commission in 2019, Murray said.

“I come to the floor today to raise concerns about the unprecedented and partisan obstruction of a highly qualified nominee to a critical agency,” Murray said in her remarks on the Senate floor.

“In this country it is illegal to discriminate against someone in the workplace because of the traits that make them who they are — their race, religion, sex, disability, and more — and it is the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission’s responsibility to enforce those laws and give every person the opportunity to make a living for themselves without fear of discrimination or harassment,” Murray said.

She and others supporting Feldblum’s nomination have also noted that Feldblum played a key role in persuading the EEOC to interpret existing federal laws to ban discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Lee has cited Feldblum’s actions along those lines as among the reasons why he’s opposing her nomination for a third term on the commission.

“Right now, a single Republican senator is threatening to derail the confirmation of Ms. Feldblum for another term on the EEOC,” Murray said. “Ms. Feldblum has

served two terms on the EEOC, where she has earned the respect of her professional colleagues on both sides of the aisle,” Murray said. “She has strong support from Republicans and Democrats in the Senate, and she has been confirmed by this Senate twice.”

The New York-based national LGBT advocacy organization GLAAD is among the organizations and individuals supporting Feldblum that are calling on Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) to use his authority to release the Feldblum nomination from Lee’s hold and bring it to the Senate floor for a vote.

“Commissioner Feldblum has served the EEOC with integrity and is experienced and highly qualified for the job,” said GLAAD President and CEO Sarah Kate Ellis. “With many Americans seeking justice and surviving discrimination and sexual harassment in the workplace, it’s imperative that the country’s top political reporters cover this alarming problem,” said Ellis, who was referring to GLAAD’s concern that mainstream media outlets have not reported the holdup of Feldblum’s nomination.

“One anti-LGBTQ activist should not silence many people seeking justice under the law,” Ellis said.

Also expressing support for Feldblum’s nomination this week was Jerri Ann Henry, who assumed the role of executive director of Log Cabin Republicans.

“Log Cabin Republicans is disheartened to hear that Republican Senator Mike Lee is delaying the bipartisan confirmation of Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) nominee Chai Feldblum over her support for same-sex marriage,” Henry said in a statement. Q

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Qmmunity

Join the Salt Lake Men’s Choir for their new season

Historical Society to host Utah LGBT Oratories

Men, regardless of singing experience are invited to join the Salt Lake Men’s Choir as they prepare a Disney-themed concert for Spring. No audition required. The choir practices Thursday nights at 7 at First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 East. Come early for information and music.

Utah Queer Historical Society announced the first of a series of oratories the last Wendesday of each month, beginning with “Their History is Your History” on Jan. 30, 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. at the Utah Pride Center, 1380 S. Main Street, Salt Lake City.

You can expect this to be a fun evening with a chance to reconnect with friends, meet new people, engage in the question and answer session and enjoy light refreshments.

Tours of the Utah Pride Center will be offered after the speech.

The Utah Queer Historical Society is a project of the Utah Pride Center established to preserve LGBT histories, memoirs, and artifacts of “who we were and who we are.”

Women’s March on Utah 2019 The Women’s March on Utah returns Jan. 19 starting at Washington Square Park and ending at the Utah State Capitol in alliance with the Women’s March on Washington. The group will march to “raise and empower Utah’s diverse community of women to lead the fight for pay equity, women’s health, family planning, affordable child care, and equal representation in all fields,” according to organizers.

“We will march with and as immigrants, those with diverse religious faiths, people who identify as LGBTQIA, native and indigenous people, black and brown people, people with disabilities, the economically impoverished, and survivors of sexual assault.”

Agenda: 10 a.m. — Event start/Opening statement 10:30 a.m. — March Start 11:30 a.m. — Speakers Start 1 p.m. — Event Ends

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 9

Encircle SLC Love Louder gallery opening and reception Get a first look at the Love Louder Art Sale in Salt Lake City, benefitting Encircle. The gallery will showcase local and national artists, reflecting the talents and generosity of our community.

The event will be at 331 S. 600 East on Friday, Jan 18 from 5 to 9 p.m. to view or purchase the diverse art collection, tour the John Williams Encircle Salt Lake home, and learn how the organization will serve LGBTQ+ youth and empower their families to sustain their circle of love.

The Encircle Provo Gallery Opening & Reception will be held the following day on Saturday, Jan 19th from 5 to 9 p.m.

Third Friday Bingo supports homeless youth The January charity for Third Friday Bingo is the VOA Homeless Youth Resource Center They are also collecting non-perishable snacks to include in the Lunches of Love program for homeless youth, such as granola bars, pudding cups, chips, fruit cups etc. Get a free additional bingo card with your paid entry with a donation.

Friday, Jan. 18, First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East. Admission: $6 for one card or two for $10.. Party Foul Insurance $5.

Flamingo Hat of Shame $5for a contribution of $50 we will give the person of your choosing a drag makeover during intermission)

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10 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

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Will a fourth time be the charm for hate-crime legislation in Utah?

BY TONY HOBDAY

When the Utah Legislature passed the state’s first hate-crimes legislation in 1992, sexual orientation was excised from the language, despite protests from several lobbyist organizations and individuals.

In fact, in a so-called compromise, the law passed did not include a specified group listing, nor did it mention bias or prejudice in the selection of a victim.

Despite a strong drive in 1999 by Sen. Pete Suazo and community pressure after Matthew Shepard was brutally killed in Wyoming for being gay, Utah lawmakers ignored the call for increased protections for gays and lesbians. Opponents of the effort, including Eagle Forum President Gayle Ruzicka, urged lawmakers not to protect “immoral and illegal behavior.”

Then in 2006, The Criminal Penalty Amendments bill was enacted which provided a section in Utah Law titled, “Hate crimes — Aggravating factors” that requires the sentencing judge to consider whether the offense “is likely to incite community unrest,” or likely “to cause members of the community to reasonably fear for their physical safety or to freely exercise or enjoy any right.”

However, the Utah Court of Appeals deemed the law incomplete and essentially useless, calling it an “exercise of rights” law, not a hate-crimes protection law.

In 2009, U.S. Congress passed, and President Obama signed, the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act, expanding the federal definition of hate crimes, enhancing the legal toolkit available to prosecutors, and increasing the ability of federal law enforcement to support state and local partners.

This law removed then-existing jurisdictional obstacles to prosecutions of certain race- and religion-motivated violence and added new federal protections against crimes based on gender, disability, gender identity, or sexual orientation.

But before the Civil Rights Division prosecutes a hate crime, the Attorney General or someone the Attorney General designates must certify, in writing, that (1) the state does not have jurisdiction; (2) the state has requested that the federal

government assume jurisdiction; (3) the verdict or sentence obtained pursuant to state charges did not demonstratively vindicate the federal interest in eradicating bias-motivated violence; or (4) a prosecution by the United States is in the public interest and necessary to secure substantial justice.

Those four stipulations have made it difficult to get a handle on LGBT hate crimes in Utah, hence the unsuccessful attempts in recent years to pass a hate crimes law which includes sexual orientation.

In October of 2012, QSaltLake Magazine presented a list of known LGBT hate crimes in Utah as far back as 1864. Of the 26 reported crimes, 10 were brutal assaults and 16 resulted in death. Of the 16 murder cases, 7 have gone unsolved, 2 acquittals, 2 life in prison sentences, 3 manslaughter convictions (sentences of 5, 10 and 15 years), 1 suicide, and 1 solved past the statute of limitation. Five of the reported assaults have gone unsolved, 4 assaults sentenced from 15 months to 5 years, and 1 sentenced to community service.

Accordingly the fact is those numbers have risen since 2012, without a state law

Issue 292 | JANUARY 17, 2019

put in place protecting LGBT Utahns from violence.

And yet since 2016, consecutive hatecrimes legislation in Utah has either failed or died without a hearing. Now, as a fourth proposal will be presented before the Legislature, legislators and advocates believe the same objections that hampered the original law a quarter century ago will likely remain cemented.

When the Legislature passed a similar measure in 2015 to enact Utah’s first statewide nondiscrimination protections for the LGBT community, it also contained safeguards for religious liberty (within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), and many on both

sides feel the Legislature will consider that sufficient for at least the time being.

Equality Utah Executive Director Troy Williams that the church’s position of LGBT-protections provision has been holding up passage of the bill.

“This is kind of the unspoken thing that’s up there on Capitol Hill,” Williams to The Salt Lake Tribune. “It doesn’t make sense to me. This valley was founded in its current form by a church that was fleeing hate-crimes persecution. So if there’s any group of people that ought to be promoting sensible and inclusive hatecrime laws, it’s the Latter-day Saints.” Q

JANUARY 17, 2019 |

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11

Issue 292 | Qsaltlake.com

EU pushes Utah ban of conversion therapy

BY TONY HOBDAY

On Monday, Jan. 14, Equality Utah’s Q Talks Series was held to a sold-out crowd at the Salt Lake City Public Library. The theme was Conversion Therapy Stories, and the special guest biographers included Garrard Conley, author of Boy Erased; Benji Schwimmer, a native Utahn who grew up LDS, as well as an award-winning dancer; and singer-songwriter Justin Utley.

The event was part of a ramp-up by Equality Utah as it pushes a ban on conversion therapy bill in the 2019 Utah Legislative Session. The proposed bill aims at only LGBT minors up to 18 years of age — the most extensive group subjected to the practice, skipping adults or those with unlicensed religious counselors.

While in its infancy, Clifford Rosky, a law professor at the University of Utah, is helping to write the legislation.

Rosky told KUER’s RadioWest that “passing a piece of legislation like this could help establish the consensus that this is an ineffective, harmful, and fraudulent practice. If people were to continue engaging in it knowing that, that could help provide the basis for a lawsuit against such a person.”

While the American Psychiatric Association says it’s impossible to change a person’s sexual orientation, and unethical to try, a 2018 study from the Family Acceptance Project shows that when parents take their child to a therapist or a religious leader for conversion therapy, youth depression

rates can double and suicide rates can triple, passing the proposed legislation may be an exercise in futility.

Those who have experienced it describe everything from electroshock therapy to efforts to try to make men appear more masculine and women more feminine. Many say they were referred to the controversial therapy programs by local church leaders.

Schwimmer said that he experienced a number of different approaches to try to change his sexual orientation during his 12 years in conversion, reparative and aversion therapy, saying “therapists would try to “realign my masculinity.”

“They would induce vomiting by forcing me to drink ipecac syrup every time I would feel arousal or stimulation,” he said. “This was supposed to scar the brain to think that men were unattractive. In my case, not only did it not work, it made things very unhappy for me.”

EU is currently gathering people’s stories and meeting with lawmakers and the governor’s office in an effort to build support for the bill.

And LGBT Utahns and allies may also build support for EU’s efforts at the annual PAC Brunch, to be held Feb. 9 at Red Butte Garden.

Funds raised at this event go toward recruiting, endorsing and funding equality candidates. Last year, Equality Utah PAC registered 8,000 new voters, made 34,000 phone calls, endorsed 24 candidates and provided them with $27,000 in critical campaign funds. Q

Gay Mormon Dad

A MEMOIR CH AD ANDER SON

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12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PERSON OF THE YEAR

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Issue 292 | JANUARY 17, 2019

2018 PERSON OF THE YEAR

Rob Moolman Utah Pride Center Executive Director

He’s only

been in Utah for about nine months, but Rob Moolman has already made an impact — for the better — on Utah’s LGBT community.

He was named the executive director of the Utah Pride Center as the new building opened in April, 2018. Since then, a consensus of people say that his welcoming, open and “let’s try it” attitude have made the Center a usable space to enjoy. By the expansion of programs being developed and the number of people walking into the building, it appears his methods are working.

The Center struggled for many years to provide a welcoming space that people found relevant. Financial woes after the move to the Fourth South building shook the organization to its foundation.

Mike Aguilar, past chair of Utah Pride’s board of directors, welcomed Moolman’s excitement about a bright future in the new Pride Center location on the eve of announcing his new role.

“In social justice activism, there can be plateaus and downhill experiences in your quest for the highest peak. We are now hiking fast to the highest peak,” he said.

A South African native who grew up during Apartheid, Moolman said the social change that happened there changed him dramatically.

“Being exposed to the revolution was one of the things that shaped me into who I am.

We, as a country, had to face up to what we did. It made me question what oppression looks like and whether it can be overt and covert,” he said.

“Moolman really has changed the game for the Pride Center and has set it on course to become a foundational institution for the community and to ensure its legacy continues and it becomes once again sustainable,” said active community member Les Roka. “He had the toughest task and has risen impressively to the challenge. And, he is bringing together voices that perhaps had not been so prominent.”

For the progress and the hope he has given our community center, Moolman is our Person of the Year. Q

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RUNNERS UP

Michael Sanders Michael Sanders has been runner-up for Person of the Year before, including once as “reader’s choice” next to Jackie Biskupski. He is a vocal advocate of Utah’s leather and BDSM communities as well as being a proponent of the sexual health of gay men. He single-handedly brought Utah’s community health organizations and the state and county health departments together for a summit on PrEP, seeing a lack of education and information being dispensed.

In 2018 alone, Sanders created the Utah Leather Pride Festival, which takes place in May. He brought together community organizations and vendors and held the event at the Sun-Trapp, expanding the bar into the parking area.

He also saw a need to disseminate information on PrEP statewide and grew frustrated with local organizations and the health departments dragging their feet, even though a PrEP advisory council was formed from his summit years ago. He took matters into his own hands and printed his own brochures, which are now distributed from St. George to Logan at colleges, departments of health and bars.

Sue Robbins During her tenure as chair of the Utah Pride Center Board of Directors, the Center found, refurbished, and moved into a new building, and hired a new executive director. Excitement in the new Center is likely at the highest level its ever been, especially when hundreds of LGBT and ally Utahns showed up to see the new building and meet Person of the Year Rob Moolman.

In November, Robbins was chosen to chair the Transgender Education Advocates of Utah Board of Directors.

“This year I want to talk about visibility. Each year, the support for the Transgender community grows within the general public. This is because people are slowly getting to where they know someone who is Transgender.”

Lucas Horns Ballet West dancer Lucas Horns, at 24, has burst onto the LGBT scene, participating in protests and organizations. Most impressively, he developed the idea to spread Pride and equality throughout the state with Project Rainbow. What started as a way to distribute Pride flags for Utah Pride has grown to Prides across the state as well as November’s Transgender Awareness Month. He has gathered dozens of volunteers and hundreds of people and businesses who want to distribute a Pride or transgender flag in their yard to promote visibility, understanding, and actual Pride from Salt Lake to Logan to Ogden to St. George. The proceeds are all donated to the regional prides and the TEA of Utah.

Angie Rice and Sean Childers-Gray Weber County Transgender residents Angie Rice and Sean Childers-Gray took their fight to the Utah Supreme Court this year after being denied gender marker changes on their birth certificates.

Judges across the state routinely grant such changes, but Second District Judge Noel Hyde ruled in both cases that Utah law was not specific enough for him to rule in favor of the changes.

While the court has yet to rule, the duo were competent and brave in their efforts to change Utah for the better.

14 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | YEAR IN REVIEW

2018 in Review JANUARY LDS President Monson dies Thomas S. Monson, the 16th president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, dies January 2, in his home in Salt Lake City. His nine-year tenure as president built an embattled legacy among LGBT Utahns, including sending a letter to California congregations directing them to get involved in the Proposition 8 battle to constitutionally define marriage as only between a man and a woman and supporting LGBT discrimination in employment and housing in Utah, among others.

Arguments heard by Utah Supreme Court on denial of transgender marker changes Two transgender Weber County residents went to the Utah Supreme Court after being denied gender marker changes on their birth certificates. Judges across the state routinely grant such changes, but Second District Judge Noel Hyde ruled in both cases that Utah law was not specific enough for him to rule in favor of the changes.

"Regardless of the sincerity or intensity of the desire of any individual to display any particular physical appearance, some biological facts are not subject to voluntary modification," Hyde wrote while denying Sean Childers-Gray his gender marker change in December of 2016.

Salt Lake attorney Christopher Wharton went before the Utah Supreme Court to present arguments on behalf of Childers-Gray of Ogden and Angie Rice of Mountain Green.

No decision has yet been announced asat least one other similar case is being heard.

Qsaltlake.com |

Utah Sen. Thatcher proposes hate-crimes bill Sen. Daniel Thatcher pushes his Senate Bill 86, titled, “Victim Targeting Penalty Enhancements,” which would have secured an “enhanced penalty for a criminal offense if the offender acted against an individual because of the offender’s perception of the individual’s ancestry, disability, ethnicity, gender, gender identity, national origin, race, religion, or sexual orientation.”

Issue 292 | JANUARY 17, 2019

Sen. Dabakis says bye-bye Senator Jim Dabakis announces that he will not be seeking re-election to the Utah State Senate in 2018. The only openly gay representative at the state legislature was appointed by Democratic delegates in December 2012 to replace outgoing Ben McAdams when he became Salt Lake County Mayor. “I leave ever optimistic about Utah’s future,” Dabakis tweets as he announced the decision.

MARCH Free UofU PrEP clinic opens University of Utah Health opens Salt Lake City’s first free PrEP clinic, one of only two in the nation.

HIV Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, known as PrEP or its brand name Truvada, is taken once a day with minimal side effects and has proven to be more than 90 percent effective at preventing HIV when taken as directed. UofU Health opened the volunteer-run clinic to address the resulting gap, and its model is one that could be echoed nationwide. Along with PrEP, the clinic will offer HIV testing, prevention, treatment, and counseling for sexually transmitted diseases.

APRIL FEBRUARY Two-Spirit couple raises awareness A Salt Lake City couple who were allowed to dance in a powwow “Sweetheart Special” couples dance, but then disqualified for not being a male-female couple, has been invited to speak at the Human Rights Campaign’s Time to Thrive conference in Orlando, Florida.

Adrian “AD” Matthias Stevens, who is San Carlos Apache, Northern Ute, and Shoshone Bannock, was raised in Fort Duchesne, Utah on the Uintah and Ouray Indian Reservation. His fiance, Sean Snyder, is Navajo and Southern Ute, from Iowa City, Iowa. Also, the couple later in the month are allowed to compete in the Seminole Tribal Fair and Pow Wow in Florida, and brought home a second-place trophy.

Robert Moolman takes UPC reins The Utah Pride Center board of directors chair Sue Robbins offers Robert Moolman the job as executive director. A South African native, Moolman previously lived in Australia. Yet he never imagined he would reside in Salt Lake City.

“I’d like it to be the first port of call for the community. In our new, larger space, we can host events, develop new leaders and move the cause forward confidently,” he says. “We credit Carol Gnade, the current executive director and the board for this amazing new space to grow into.”

Utah voters define LaVar Christensen unfit Rep. LaVar Christensen, R-Draper, loses his Utah Senate District 11 seat. He was the author of Utah’s Amendment 3, which defined marriage as between one man and one woman, as well as several other anti-LGBT measures over the years.

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Utah and five western states in 2014 and set groundbreaking case law that led to nationwide legalization in 2015.

the applications of several other LGBTQ groups, including Mormons Building Bridges, PFLAG, and Provo Pride.

So. Utah center earns EU award

Sun-Trapp owner dies Sun-Trapp owner Rob Goulding, known to most as Uncle Rob, passes away. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last summer. The Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire Empress Tiana La Shaé announced his death on the Court’s Facebook page: “Today we mourn the loss of long-time supporter of the RCGSE and friend to the community, Rob Goulding. We appreciate Rob welcoming us into the SunTrapp and giving us a place to call home. Thank you for all the wonderful memories and may you Rest In Peace, dear friend.”

No more ‘No Promo Homo’ The State Board of Education unanimously votes to end the discriminatory No Promo Homo policy by affirmatively stating that schools must train and report bullying based on sexual orientation and gender identity. These are the first explicit protections for LGBTQ students in Utah law.

MAY Study shows thousands of sexual assaults in Utah The Utah Department of Health reveals the results of a 2016 sexual-assault survey of about 10,000 Utahns over the age of 18.

Nearly 10 percent of Utah adults reported that someone had sex or attempted to have sex with them without their consent in their lifetime. But 33 percent of those who said they were gay or lesbian reported they were sexually violated, and over 45 percent of bisexuals said the same.

Dabakis no longer can stand the heat, welcome to the Kitchen The LGBTQ Victory Fund has endorsed Salt Lake City Councilmember Derek Kitchen to replace Sen. Jim Dabakis for his state senate seat. As a Salt Lake City Council member for District 4, he was the named plaintiff in Kitchen v. Herbert, which legalized marriage equality for

Equality Utah honors Switchpoint Community Resource Center with the Excellence in Advocacy Award for their unbiased and nondiscriminatory service to the southern Utah LGBTQ community. Switchpoint offers emergency shelter, in addition to various resources and programs that help move people out of poverty.

JUNE Pride Festival hate crime A small group leaving the Utah Pride Festival Saturday night are chased by a group of 10 to 15 young men who were allegedly yelling anti-gay slurs and threats of death. One of the victims spoke with QSaltLake Magazine, saying that he, his husband and two male friends went to Stoneground Kitchen for dinner. As they left through the back entrance a group of men were “ harassing a homeless woman”, and when confronted by the man’s husband, he was verbally attacked: “What are you looking at, you fucking faggot?”

The incident escalated as they feared for their lives and “ran down the alley to Doki Doki, which is on the main floor below the restaurant. The store’s clerk Terrance Mannery attempted to lock the door, but one of the assailants “started pounding on him.”

Mannery sustained bruises and a cut to his face as he tried to keep the attackers out of the shop to protect the intended victims.

JULY OK, not axed but left red, white and blue Provo’s Freedom Festival reversed its decision to block LGBTQ groups from its yearly parade following a compromise struck between opposing sides last week.

Members of participating LGBTQ groups must only wear American flag pins/buttons, carry American flags, and must dress in red, white, and blue. Mormons Building Bridges presented a float that said, “Utah Honors its LGBTQ+ Veterans.”

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Encircle axed yet again The Freedom Festival Parade organizers once again reject an application for Encircle, an LGBTQ outreach group based in Provo, to participate in festival events. The festival also rejected

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16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | YEAR IN REVIEW

Affirmative action For the first time, Affirmation: LGBT Mormons, Families and Friends leaders representing diverse spiritual perspectives, sexual orientations, gender identities, and cultural backgrounds are spearheaded to become certified suicide prevention trainers by one of the leading suicide prevention training institutes, QPR. Over the next three years, suicide prevention trainers will conduct training sessions at every Affirmation conference held throughout the world. Affirmation will also make online training on trauma and suicide prevention available at no cost to Affirmation members and others.

Qsaltlake.com |

others to take a more active role in the conversation. As well as A peer-to-peer intervention group called the Hope Squad, another organization seeking to make a difference.

Greg Hudnall, founder and executive director of Hope4Utah said this peerto-peer interaction is what has been missing from suicide prevention initiatives. According to Hudnall, it’s going to take more than health professionals and teachers to save Utah teens; it also needs to include the very teens that people are trying to protect.

Gay hater Chris Buttars dies Anti-LGBT former senator Chris Buttars passes away at age 76. Buttars was co-author, alongside Utah Rep. LaVar Christensen, of Utah’s Amendment 3, which amended the state constitution to say marriage was solely between a man and a woman.

AUGUST Southern censorship The National Coalition Against Censorship called on public libraries of Washington County, Utah to reconsider a ban on LGBTQ displays. Joined by the National Council of Teachers of English, and LGBT civil rights group Lambda Legal, the letter warns that the current ban poses a serious threat to equal rights and freedom of expression and sets a dangerous precedent by perpetuating a culture of prejudice and intolerance.

IRCONU royalty dies Russell Lynn Griffin, Emperor VI and XV of The Imperial Rainbow Court of Northern Utah passed away. Russell courageously battled end-stage renal disease for 16 years.

SEPTEMBER Utah’s real Suicide Squad Utah communities and schools — with the aid of the state’s suicide prevention task force — begin placing more emphasis on prevention through heightened mental health resources and by asking

Issue 292 | JANUARY 17, 2019

LDS General Conference: Oaks unbending on gender identity In his Church of Latter-day Saints General Conference speech, First Counselor Dallin H. Oaks says “Some are troubled by some of our church’s positions on marriage and children. Our knowledge of God’s revealed plan of salvation requires us to oppose many of the current social and legal pressures to retreat from traditional marriage or to make changes that confuse or alter gender or homogenize the differences between men and women.

We know that the relationships, identities, and functions of men and women are essential to accomplish God’s great plan.

Gender is eternal. Before we were born on this earth, we all lived as male and female in the presence of God.” He also said that opposition to the church was part of Satan’s plan.

OCTOBER Stan Penfold announces mayoral run Utah AIDS Foundation executive director and former Salt Lake City Councilman Stan Penfold announces he will run against Jackie Biskupski to become Salt Lake City Mayor. Penfold is largely credited for being the person who got the city to rename part of Ninth South from Ninth West to Ninth East “Harvey Milk Boulevard,” after the San Francisco politician who made significant change in California and became a beacon to the gay community nationwide.

The ‘Shepard’ of Being gay Matthew Shepard, who was murdered at 21 years old in 1998 in an anti-gay hate crime, is interred at Washington National Cathedral in D.C. “Matthew Shepard’s death is an enduring tragedy affecting all people and should serve as an ongoing call to the nation to reject anti-LGBTQ bigotry and instead embrace each of our neighbors for who they are,” said the Very Rev. Randolph Marshall Hollerith, dean of Washington National Cathedral.

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standardized testing. “It was inspirational to be surrounded by students who were willing to put in the work to change schools,” he said.

LDS Bishop ‘The Forseer’

NOVEMBER SLC bangs the pots and pans With a showing of over 77 percent of the votes, Derek Kitchen becomes the next Utah state senator in District 2, which encompasses the Avenues, Central City and University neighborhoods. In a Facebook Post, Kitchen writes in part: “I will stand for the rights of the diverse and vibrant LGBTQ+ community we have here in Utah, for gender equity, and for the rights of immigrants.”

Bill Reel, a former bishop of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announces on his website that he has been excommunicated over a podcast that frequently criticizes church history, policies and procedures including the religion’s stance on LGBTQ issues. His statement in parts says, “… the Stake President for the Mormon Church in my geographic location hand-delivered his decision to my Disciplinary Council. The decision was as we all had expected, I had been excommunicated. Immediately, my family signed onto QuitMormon.org and completed their resignations.”

PTSD-LDS link?

A study says that the messages and teachings that come from the LDS Church regarding sexuality and gender identification may be causing LGBT members of the church to suffer post-traumatic stress disorder at a rate nearly 10 times higher than the general population.

“The thing that shocked me, as well as my committee members, is the number of participants who likely would have experienced PTSD,” University of Georgia graduate student Brian William Simmons said, regarding the results of his study as published in his doctoral dissertation, “Coming Out Mormon.”

The gay kids in the hall The Utah State Board of Education Student Advisory Council, a newly placed committee of which junior and senior high school students holds its first student-led meeting.

Member Daniel Bernhardt said that it formed sub-committees around topics, such as school safety, representation of race and sexual orientation, and updating

DECEMBER Utah researcher’s early findings between faith and sexuality A Utah suicide researcher says the friction between LGBT sexuality and [the LDS] religion in Utah may not be quite the driving factor behind youth suicide.

“There’s no data to show that, period,” says Michael Staley, who works in the Utah Office of the Medical Examiner and is the first person who would know, since he leads an effort to collect, compile and

analyze suicide information from around the state. He conducts that research at the behest of the Utah Legislature.

PrEP on the rise Jorgen Madsen, a UofU medical student who earlier this year joined forces with two doctors at University of Utah Health, Susan Keeshin, MD and Adam Spivak, MD, along with a fellow medical student, Julie Weis, and the local nonprofit Utah AIDS Foundation, makes major strides to improve health care for the LGBTQ community. Their main efforts laid the groundwork for what at that time was only the second free PrEP clinic in the United States.

From the beginning, Madsen and his cohorts were determined to make the clinic an oasis of tolerance and empathy.

Along with PrEP and STI education, they provide peer counseling for patients struggling with stigma, isolation, and depression. “This is a population that’s already marginalized,” Madsen says. “The clinic is a space where we can talk about the excitement of a date they had, or how the family is reacting to coming out.” Q

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views

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Issue 292 | JANUARY 17, 2019

quotes “You are here for a divine purpose no matter what anybody says about you.

You are divine. You have a legacy of history.”

—Laverne Cox, speaking to transgender youth in 2018

“Being a queer black woman in America, someone who has been in relationships with both men and women —I consider myself to be a free-ass motherfucker.”

—Janelle Monae “I guess at the end of the day a gay guy with an interracial family running for Congress is a little bit like waving a red flag in front of a bull for some folks. ... I felt like they were trying to intimidate us and that’s just not going to work.”

—Rick Neal, a first-time candidate in the 2018 Ohio primary, and father of two

“I think it’s important that the lived experiences and the point of view of LGBT folks be included in conversations that affect all of us.”

—openly lesbian 2018 Kansas senate candidate Sharice Davids

“They say sometimes you got to hurt a child in order to help them, but a mother knows when something isn’t right.”

—from 2018 film Boy Erased

“For all the competition, I will be cornering the market on charisma-free assholes.

What do you think, Mitch McConnell next?”

—Christian Bale referencing his role as Dick Cheney in Vice, during the 2018 Golden Globes

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who’s your daddy

Gay vacay

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

Maybe

it’s because of the cold weather, but lately I’ve been thinking about a vacation.

I took time off during the holidays, but it’s not the same as going away on a real vacation. So, I reached out to Bob Guymon, owner of Thomas Travel to get his insights on some good choices for LGBT families to get some R&R. “When planning a vacation, choose a destination that truly appeals to your taste,” Guymon told me. “It can be historic, cultural, adventurous — whatever rocks your world. And remember to look for something that works within your budget.”

With that in mind, here are some gay-friendly destinations for the whole family!

Gay Days in Anaheim or Orlando — Three days of fun in October in the Magic Kingdoms, all catering to two-dad and two-mom families. Although not officially sponsored

by Disney, the parks welcome the group with open arms.

There’re all sorts of fun, from special lunches to scavenger hunts, plus all the amazing rides for which the parks are famous.

Guymon reminded me that Provincetown has been a destination of choice for gay guys for years. Well P-Town now has its own kid-centric event in late July and early August — it’s home to the Family Equality Council’s annual Family Week.

It’s the largest gathering of LGBTQ parents and kids in the world! There are pool parties, camps, workshops, and more.

If a camp getaway — not that kind of camp — is more to

your liking, there are plenty of long-weekend choices offering good old-fashioned fun.

CampOut in Decatur, Michigan offers water-skiing, sailing and other traditional camp activities for gay parents. It’s all inclusive so everything is included in the registration price. There are also camps for kids of gay parents and those catering to LGBT Jewish parents.

Perhaps something less “roughing it” is more appealing. The Fontainbleu in Miami Beach is great. Guymon says there are pools, waterfalls, and water slides for the kids, plus a program geared just for them — ranging from games and sports to art, and maybe even a chance to make treats with the resort’s pastry chef!

Cruising — not that kind of cruising — may be more your cup of tea. There is Olivia and R Family Vacations — LGBT family-specific cruises on board Royal Caribbean’s Harmony of the Seas with ports like the Bahamas, Virgin Islands, and St. Maarten. There’s always plenty to do for kids, and they’ll enjoy hanging out with other families like theirs.

There are also some nice resort choices abroad like Karisma’s Azul Beach near Cancun.

Although not specifically for LGBT families, it certainly is LGBT family-friendly. Kids can hang out with Sponge Bob and catch movies, while dad and dad get a couple’s massage or do some tequila tasting.

Guymon also said his time in Sitges, Spain was remarkable.

It’s gay-family-friendly and offers a laid-back, quaint vibe peppered with pristine beaches

and colorful activities like stilt walkers and fireworks. It’s also close to bigger cities like Barcelona, another gay-friendly adventure spot.

One piece of advice Guymon added, “Before you head off on vacation, do your research.

Make sure wherever you go meets your needs. And if you’re traveling abroad, make sure you’re heading someplace where your family will be safe.

After all, the whole point of vacation is to have fun!”

I’d like to thank Bob for all of his help with this piece. He can help you too — contact him at bob@thomastravel. com. 801-266-2775 or through thomastravel.com. Q Oops! In my Gift Guide column, I erroneously referred to those cute Love Is Love tee shirts as “free” trade. They are, in fact, fair trade, and still a great gift idea!

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Issue 292 | JANUARY 17, 2019

lambda lore

I hope he stays angry forever

BY BEN WILLIAMS

As the

AIDS epidemic spread into its second decade, Ben Barr, executive director of the Utah AIDS Foundation, and David Sharpton, founder and executive director of the People With AIDS Coalition of Utah were at odds with each other over temperament and management style.

Barr and Sharpton, as public faces of AIDS awareness in Utah, had a falling out.

Barr asked Sharpton to leave the UAF, and this conflict split off the PWACU, forcing them to relocate from the foundation’s home on 9th East and 5th South. Much of the clash was due to Sharpton’s increasingly erratic behavior due to his failing health and the ever-increasing workload within the UAF. During the first six months of 1990 there had been a 400 percent caseload increase at the foundation. The total number of calls had increased from 35, during the first quarter of 1989, to 150 in the first quarter of 1990. The UAF was receiving up to five new clients a week.

Voluntary pay cuts and staff reduction tried to close the gap between the increasing needs and services that the foundation provided and its meager funding. Barr lamented that while the number of AIDS cases in Utah was growing, the public seemed to be losing interest. AIDS fatigue was a real issue.

Barr stated, “It’s so frightening. We don’t have the resources to educate and treat folks, and the numbers of AIDS cases continue to grow.” As of October 1990, the Utah Department of Health showed 325 cases of AIDS had been reported in the state since 1983. Moreover, an estimated 2,500 Utahns carried HIV. By 1990, Sharpton was the foremost AIDS activist in Utah. Ironically he was never counted in Utah statistics as he had been diagnosed in Texas where he eventually returned to die.

Besides being a founder and an executive director of the Utah AIDS Coalition of Utah, Sharpton was a member of the executive committee of the Governor’s

Task Force on AIDS, vice chairman of the Utah AIDS Consortium, and one of the founders of Horizon House — a support center for those living with the HIV virus.

However by summer, Sharpton was forced out as the executive director of PWACU. His acerbic criticism of Barr and of the Utah AIDS Foundation deeply concerned the PWACU board. They worried that the working relationship with the foundation was being damaged by Sharpton’s accusations and his promotion of a rival AIDS organization.

While gay men made up the largest percentage of Utah’s AIDS population, according to Utah’s health department, some AIDS advocates at the UAF worried that the stigma of homosexuality was inhibiting the foundation from receiving funding and support from the general heterosexual community.

Of the 188 AIDS deaths in Utah reported since 1983, 75 percent were homosexuals or bisexual intravenous drug users. The other 25 percent of cases were heterosexuals who were either IV drug abusers, hemophiliacs infected by contaminated blood products, or those who contracted AIDS through a blood transfusion or from an infected partner.

Utah’s attitude toward addressing the AIDS epidemic began to change when statistics were released showing that 40 hemophiliacs — “innocent victims” — were HIV-positive and eight of them had died.

Most alarming to legislators was that nine Utah children under the age of 13 had been diagnosed with AIDS. Another 10 or more were infected with HIV. What was shocking was that Utah had more children with AIDS than Colorado,

which had over 1,300 cases while Utah had less than 400 at the time of the report.

Ben Barr stated that the increase of the number of Utah children with AIDS was an indicator that HIV was spreading into the general population faster than the state was willing to admit. Barr also pointed out that Utah had no prevention programs for IV-drug users and was not reaching people who were putting their children are at risk.

The increase in HIV infection among children and heterosexuals was the catalyst for some UAF dissidents to create a new facility called the Horizon House.

Dick Dotson and Donald Steward saw the need for a new organization while working as volunteers for the UAF. They, along with Sharpton, felt that some people with AIDS weren’t taking advantage of services offered by the foundation because of its setting and the perception that it was an organization run by, and for, homosexuals.

The organizers of the Horizon House wanted to steer the topic of AIDS away from being associated with homosexuals.

According to Dotson, hemophiliacs and children with AIDS had been especially reluctant to go to the UAF because of that stigma. The Horizon House, he said, was designed to be open to any AIDS victim, their family care providers, and healthcare professionals.

Dotson, Sharpton, and Steward secured a location on 1300 East in Salt Lake City for the Horizon House, which opened its doors to clients in October. The concept envisioned by its founders was to address the needs, especially of children, as well as others who were uncomfortable with being associated with homosexuals. The AIDS residence was intended to provide a home-like environment for social gatherings, therapy programs, and educational seminars, The dissidents felt that the UAF couldn’t provide these services to these Photo: David Sharpton and Dr. Kristen Ries

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AIDS clients who were wary of the stigma of homosexuality.

Additionally, Dotson, Steward, and Sharpton were at odds with Barr over the salaries of UAF’s staff. Although meager, some objected to any resources be allocated to anything other than education and services.

Dotson stated that the Horizon House was to be a nondenominational, nonpolitical project and that it was to be run by volunteers on a shoe-string budget. He was adamant stating, “There can never, ever be paid staff. This is a volunteer organization all the way.”

A 15-member board of directors of Horizon House was set in place to be a governing body for oversight regarding policies and programs. The board included Dotson, Steward, and Sharpton as was well as healthcare professionals, a person with AIDS, a high school student volunteer, and representatives of several community agencies.

Among the services provided by the Horizon House were weekly social gatherings for children, a therapy group conducted by a minister, art therapy, and a Saturday activity for hemophiliac children intended partly to “give the parents a break.”

One of the main complaints directed at the Horizon House within the gay community was its willingness to work with the Church of Latter-day Saints, which many viewed as being adversarial toward homosexual rights.

However, Sharpton believed there had been an attitude change toward homosexuals by the church since it no longer excommunicated members solely on the basis of an AIDS diagnosis. He claimed that, as the church also provided financial help and counseling to AIDS victims through its welfare system, the Horizon House should be encouraged to be LDS friendly.

Dotson, Steward, and Sharpton, while not stating it publicly, privately felt that the church would be more inclined to send members to a care provider not associated so strongly with the gay community as was UAF. Sharpton argued with detractors that “the church is not Utah.” His stated that his issues were with the state, not the church.

Sharpton was angry regarding Utah’s slow response to assisting people with AIDS. The State Bureau of Epidemiology had sent back, over the course of several years, $300,000 in federal funds which had been allocated by the CDC to educate Utahns about the HIV virus.

Sharpton stated that as Utah was about three years behind the national HIV transmission averages, he believed that the lost money could have been used to anticipate transmission trends and educate at-risk populations. In his opinion, Utah’s health officials were complicit in the death of many Utahns if more money had been spent on treating AIDS as a health issue and not a moral one.

Sharpton, hoping to prod Utah health officials to work more diligently to put resources into stemming the AIDS epidemic, organized a Utah Chapter of an “AIDS Coalition To Unleash Power”, commonly known as ACT-UP, in October.

The first ACT-UP meeting was held in his apartment’s clubhouse. I saw him a week later with his lover, Mike Andgotti, who told me that he had been in the hospital and that the virus had hit his spinal column.

I later wrote in my journal that he didn’t look well but he did say that he had formed ACT-UP the prior week. I also wrote “I think David’s anger is the only thing keeping him alive so I hope he stays angry forever.” Q

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22 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

creep of the week

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 292 | JANUARY 17, 2019

Stedfast Baptist Church

BY DANNE WITKOWSKI

Welcome

to this episode of “Christian Hypocrisy: Anti-Gay Christian Edition.”

It’s been a while since we’ve done one of these so let’s start off 2019 old-school style and call out an anti-LGBTQ public figure who turns out to not be so morally upstanding after all.

Let me introduce you to Donnie Romero, former pastor of the Stedfast Baptist Church in Fort Worth, Texas.

He’s the former pastor because he did some sins that “disqualified” him from pastorhood.

Romero’s pastor buddy Steven Anderson came to Stedfast Baptist Church so he could be there to help the church through Romero’s announcement.

In a video posted online Anderson explains why Romero had to step down, explaining that Romero’s address to the congregation didn’t include specifics because his wife and children were there and they didn’t want to “humiliate or disturb them.”

But for the sake of transparency, Anderson says, he wants to let people know what’s going on.

“Even pastors are human,” Anderson says. “I’m just going to mention what the sins were without going into detail. Basically the major sin involved was being with prostitutes, and then there were also marijuana and gambling that were also discovered.”

Well, first off they’re called “sex workers,” not prostitutes. Secondly, transparency is a good and rare thing in religious institutions, so yay them, I guess. Plus, Romero looked so damn sad in the video of him addressing his flock to tell them he’s bouncing.

You could almost feel sorry for him.

Unless, of course, you know about the absolutely heinously hateful shit Romero has said about gay people. Then any pity you have for him really evaporates.

As the Star-Telegram reports, Southern Poverty Law Center designated Stedfast church a hate group in 2015. And that was before Romero went off about the Pulse nightclub victims in 2016.

“These 50 Sodomites were all perverts and pedophiles and they are the scum of the earth, and the earth is a little bit better place now, and I’ll even take it a little further,” he said according to the Star-Telegram. “I heard on the news today that there are still several dozen of these queers in ICU, and I will pray that God will finish the job that that man started.”

Now, I’ve been writing about anti-gay folks for over a decade now, and that is honestly one of the most vile quotes I have ever encountered. The lack of compassion is astounding. And notice that the guy with the gun, the guy who murdered scores of people and injured many

more, is viewed as a tool of God’s will doing the Lord’s work with an assault rifle.

Never mind that the shooter was Muslim, which in most circumstances would probably be a deal-breaker for Romero and his church. Hey, nobody’s perfect.

Anderson, too, is no stranger to hate.

“The good news is that at least 50 of these pedophiles are not going to be harming children anymore,” Anderson said after the Pulse shooting according to the Washington Post. “The bad news is that a lot of the homos in the bar are still alive, so they’re going to continue to molest children and recruit people into their filthy homosexual lifestyle.”

It bears repeating, again and again, that being LGBTQ does not make someone more likely to molest children. That’s a gross lie repeated by gross people. Nor do LGBTQ people recruit, unless you count lesbians who form the core of any good softball team.

Also according to the Post, “In one sermon recorded at his church, Anderson suggested the world could be AIDS-free

by Christmas if only people ‘executed the homos like God recommends.’”

Has this guy met Mike

Pence? Because I think they’d be great buds. They have a lot in common. In fact, should Trump get impeached I suspect Anderson could find a home in a Pence Administration simply by submitting a resume with his AIDS-Free By Christmas plan alone.

In case you were worried, no, Stedfast Baptist Church did not decide that being hateful was maybe a really crappy way to be Christian.

Instead they doubled down, electing Jonathan Shelley to be their new pastor. He hates gays, too.

“They hate God. God has already given them up,” he says in an Oct. 2018 video according to the Star-Telegram “That’s the reason they’re doing these vile, disgusting things. They’re beasts, they’re wicked, they’re abominable, they’re filthy today.”

Feeling disgusted? Well, you could pray for their souls, but I’m not sure they have any. It’s probably more effective to visit splcenter.org and make a donation to their work combating the kind of hate Stedfast perpetuates. Amen. Q D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living in Michigan with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBT politics for over a decade. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.

JANUARY 17, 2019 |

Issue 292 | Qsaltlake.com

sex and salt lake city

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 23

Polyamory 101

BY DR. LAURIE BENNETT-COOK

We’re coming

up on Valentine’s Day. My boyfriend just called.

I was expecting to hear him announce some romantic plan. Nope. He was calling to let me know that his other girlfriend tested positive for a bacterial infection that may possibly be sexually transmitted.

So he and her other boyfriend are both off to be tested. He wanted to let me know because I should probably be tested too. And, depending on my results, my husband may need to be tested as well.

Welcome to polyamory.

When I share my relationship configuration with others I am met with a variety of responses. Some are judgmental, but most are simply curious about how it all works. Nearly everyone wants to know about the sex! Of course, with two partners, the assumption is I must be having a lot of it!

Polyamory is just one model of non-monogamous relationship styles. In its basic form, the definition of polyamory is: “The state or practice of having more than one romantic relationship at a time with the consent and knowledge of everyone involved.”

These relationships may or may not involve sex, but they are generally all romantic in nature. To breakdown the word Polyamory itself: Greek word for Many = Poly and Latin for Love = Amor. The caveat that sets polyamory apart from other relationship configurations is just that — relationships.

What polyamory is not: POLYAMORY IS NOT CHEATING At its core cheating is deceptive and hurtful. Seeking out desires that one knows will be hurtful to a partner, by engaging in lies and deception, only does damage to a relationship. In polyamory all partners are aware of one another and have

free agency to decide whether or not they agree to be involved with a person who is also involved with others.

POLYAMORY IS NOT SWINGING Swinging (also known as partner swapping) is when an otherwise committed pair engages in consensual, recreational sex with others. Generally, swingers refrain from forming romantic attachments with those outside of their primary relationship.

POLYAMORY IS NOT HETERONORMATIVE So many relationship configurations fall under the lens of heterosexuality. Within the polyamorous community there tends to be a greater acceptance for the beauty that is queerness in all its forms. More people are finding themselves not only fluid in their relationship style, but also in their sexual expression.

What Polyamory is: POLYAMORY IS CONSENSUAL Unlike adultery, in polyamorous relationships everyone involved is aware of everyone else. Sometimes the partners of each other’s partners may become friends.

Other times they may not. But at the base of it all is an awareness that there are others who are also involved.

POLYAMORY IS HONEST When Kevin and I realized we had sincere feelings and wanted to see where this would go, we each told our other partner and arranged a time for the four of us to have dinner together. Everyone knew about everyone else from the beginning. Everyone had an opportunity to speak their feelings and any concerns they may be having as things progressed.

This level of transparency has saved us from many potential hurt feelings.

Honesty leaves no room for secrecy or

deceit, but rather a larger container for love. This level of honesty also lends itself to scenarios like above. When one person is suspected of an STI, rather than being met with shame, all parties are notified and can seek medical attention.

POLYAMORY IS ABOUT LOVE Romantic love is the biggest factor that sets polyamory apart from other non-monogamous relationship styles. My husband and I have been married for a couple of decades but we acknowledge that as my additional partner, Kevin is an important person in our lives. He’s a real person with real feelings, real fears, real dreams. He may be a third person in the relationship, but he shouldn’t ever feel like a third wheel.

While it’s important to be extra conscious about keeping commitments with one another, it’s also important to be flexible and understanding as unexpected things do come up.

The most important factor I have found through this journey is to not treat other partners like playthings. People are not disposable. That may work fine with some relational configurations, but it doesn’t fare well with polyamory. When in a relationship, whether there are two people involved or five, they are making themselves vulnerable to others and vulnerability is sacred.

There is so much more to polyamory than this article can articulate. More information on the topic can be found in the following books: More Than Two

by Franklin Veaux; Opening Up by Tristan Taormino, and Ethical Slut by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton. Q Dr. Laurie Bennett-Cook is a clinical sexologist and can be reached at dr.LaurieBennettCook@gmail.com

24 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

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CONCERTS

LAURA “LP” PERGOLIZZI is a queer singer-songwriter, whose look and demeanor have been called androgynous, but personally she identifies as a lesbian.

“I feel so ordinary in this feast of diversity we’re having,” she said in an interview. “The look is everything and the look is nothing. I know people that are completely — quote unquote — ‘normal-looking’ that are out of their fucking minds. And I’ve met people that look wild, and it’s like talking to a hairbrush.

LP’s voice has been liked to Stevie Nicks and Cyndi Lauper (will that’s definitely a queer bridge). Her fifth full length album, Heart to Mouth, released late last year, is the follow-up to her breakthrough album Lost On You that has now garnered over 700 million streams worldwide.

MONDAY — LP

Tony’s Gay Agenda 4SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS

Union Event Center, 235 N. 500 West, 8 p.m.

Tickets $25-30, ticketfly.com

BY TONY HOBDAY

UTAH REPERTORY THEATER COMPANY presents a staged reading of the new play by award-winning playwright Drew Fornarola (co-author of the off-Broadway hit Straight). The quiet college town of Jefferson City, South Carolina is thrust into the national spotlight

Issue 292 | JANUARY 17, 2019

Well, it’s that time again for another live televised incarnation of a beloved Broadway musical that unfortunately fails time and time again (in my humble opinion). Anyhoo, RENT is a groundbreaking, Tony Award- and Pulitzer Prize-winning musical that tells the unforgettable story of seven artists struggling to follow their dreams during a time of great social and political turmoil. Angel in this production? None other than Ru Paul’s Drag Race’s Valentina!

ROBIN BECKER received the Lambda Award in Poetry for “All-American Girl,” and has held fellowships from the Massachusetts Cultural Council, the National Endowment for the Arts and the Radcliffe Institute at Harvard.

A member of the Muscogee Nation of Oklahoma, JENNIFER ELISE FOERSTER is the author of two books of poems: Leaving Tulsa and Bright Raft in the Afterweather. She is the recipient of a National Endowment for the Arts Creative Writing Fellowship, a Lannan Foundation Writing Residency Fellowship and was a Wallace Stegner Fellow in Poetry at Stanford University. She teaches at the Institute of American Indian Arts.

FRIDAY — JUDGING HAYDEN (STAGED READING)

18 27 4

Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 136 W. 300 South, 7:30 p.m. Free, no late seating

SUNDAY — RENT

Fox Network, 6 p.m.

MONDAY — ANNE NEWMAN SUTTON WEEKS POETRY SERIES: BECKER AND FOERSTER

Adamson Alumni House, Westminster College, 1840 S. 1300 East, 7 p.m. Free

THEATRE

AN OTHER THEATER COMPANY presents Edward II, a surprisingly open tale of homosexuality written by Shakespeare’s contemporary Christopher Marlowe in 1594, the newly crowned King Edward II, reunited with the lover his father had banished, now has only the disapproving nobles to stand between him and the man he loves.

WICKED is a renowned tale of the land of Oz, a good witch, and a green-with-envy witch bitch. Spoiler alert: the actual bitch is the lion. Enjoy!

Elton John and Tim Rice’s AIDA follows an enslaved Nubian princess who finds her heart entangled with Radames, an Egyptian soldier who is betrothed to the Pharaoh’s daughter, Amneris. As their forbidden love blossoms, Aida is forced to weigh her heart against the responsibility that she faces as the leader of her people.

FRIDAY— EDWARD II

VALENTINA WILL PLAY ANGEL IN RENT ON FOX

when a shocking crime is alleged on campus. JUDGING HAYDEN follows a legal case at the nexus of race, class, privilege and gender equality as it plays out under the glare of 24 hour cable news, and explores how the same events look strikingly different when spun by left-wing, right-wing, and mainstream media.

18 30 1

An Other Theater Company, Provo Towne Centre, 1200 Towne Centre Blvd., times vary, through Feb. 2, anothertheatercompany.com

WEDNESDAY — WICKED

Delta Hall, Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main St., times vary through March 3. Tickets $99-229, artsaltlake.org

FRIDAY — AIDA

On Pitch Performing Arts, 587 N. Main St., Layton, times vary through Feb. 16. Tickets $12-15, onpitchperformingarts.com

JANUARY 17, 2019 |

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 25

Issue 292 | Qsaltlake.com

Everything from Angels to Zen

Writing about our gay president

BY ELAINE JARVIK

“How would

you like to write a play about our first gay president?”

Plan-B Theatre’s Jerry Rapier asked me in the summer of 2016.

And so I began researching the life of a man I knew little about, one of those presidents who fall somewhere in the vague middle, one of those indistinguishable men with a high collar and a grim mouth. And what I Elaine Jarvik discovered, of course, is that there is always more to the story.

James Buchanan was the only president to live out his White House tenure as a bachelor. So there were rumors then and there are assumptions today. But the facts are slim: his best friend was Sen. William King of Alabama, who was also a bachelor, and they lived in the same rooming house in Washington; some said then that King was Buchanan’s “better half;” they were referred to as “Miss Nancy” and “Miss Fancy.”

And, finally, Buchanan once wrote a letter to a friend in which he bemoaned the fact that Sen. King had been appointed minister to France: “I am now ‘solitary and alone,’ having no companion in the house with me,” he wrote. “I have gone a-wooing to several gentlemen, but have not succeeded with any one of them.”

And that’s pretty much it: some innuendoes and a few letters, which we filter through our 21st century understanding of the way men act and speak.

As I read more about Buchanan, I began to wonder what he would make of other assessments of his life and his administration. Some historians argue his actions and his inaction led America into the Civil War, and his name tops the lists of “worst presidents.” One of his biographies is titled: Worst. President. Ever. (Note to the outraged: these lists were made prior to January, 2017.)

This is what fascinated me: what might a man wish he could say to historians and the rest of us if he had a chance to explain himself? What would it feel like to be called “the worst” a century and a half after your death? What would it feel like, as a 19th century man, to be called “gay”? What would it feel like to be publicly, relentlessly called out on the eternal archive of the Internet?

And so I’ve written AN EVENING WITH TWO AWFUL MEN, an alternative reality in which James Buchanan (Jason Bowcutt), John Wilkes Booth (Aaron Adams) and Harriet Tubman (Dee-Dee Darby-Duffin) appear on “Dead People Live”, a darkly comic reality-show-of-sorts where the long-dead share with the notyet-dead what it’s like when your name lives on forever, and your legacy might not be what you want it to be.

Playwright Elaine Jarvik has previously premiered MARRY CHRISTMAS (which celebrated the one-year anniversary of marriage equality in Utah), BASED ON A TRUE STORY and RIVER.SWAMP. CAVE.MOUNTAIN. at Plan-B Theatre.

Her latest, AN EVENING WITH TWO AWFUL MEN, also features Emilie Starr in the cast and premieres at Plan-B February 21–March 3. Q Details and tickets at planbtheatre.org

12896 S Pony Express Rd Suite 200 in Draper (just north of IKEA) 801.333.3777 www.ilovelotus.com

LotusStore

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A DiverseCity Series writing group A program of Salt Lake Community College’s Community Writing Ctr. The group meets the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month, 6:30-8 pm, Salt Lake City Library Square, 210 E. 400 South, Ste. 8, Salt Lake.

26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

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Issue 292 | JANUARY 17, 2019

positive thoughts

The human spirit strikes back Let’s face

BY DESIRÉE GUERRERO

it, it’s been a rough one. More senseless shootings, more #MeToo controversies, more attacks on trans and immigrant rights — and more budget cuts affecting those living with HIV. As 2018 drew to a close, many in our country’s most marginalized communities may have been feeling a bit lost, a bit hopeless, and a bit depressed.

And though its understandable that one could feel this way, we must also take note of the many positives that happened in 2018 — thanks to the indomitable strength of the human spirit. And some sound science.

One silver lining for those living with HIV this year was simple yet enormously powerful. We started talking about HIV again. It seems that after the panic around the initial epidemic of the 1980s began to subside — especially once the highly effective antiret-

rovirals used today were first developed in 1996 — we just stopped talking about HIV and AIDS. And since we stopped talking about it, we stopped learning about it. In turn, many misconceptions around the condition have remained solidly in place since. This was a “gay disease” after all — so it became even less of a concern once we had the meds to “take care of it.” And Magic Johnson is alive and well, so it’s all good, right? As we moved into the new millenium, HIV had simply became one less worry for Dick and Jane and their 2.5 kids. But in reality, HIV had not disappeared in our country by any means.

Stigma is the root of why we’re uncomfortable talking about HIV. We only want to sweep something under the rug when it makes us feel uncomfortable, frightened, or ashamed. But the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s latest estimate of over

38,500 new infections in the U.S. in 2015 proves we can no longer afford to be silent. Fortunately, several well-known people courageously came forward about being HIV-positive in 2018 in order to strike back at this long-enduring stigma.

ABC reporter Karl Schmid proved you could be a successful, charming, healthy heartthrob — while being HIV-positive — when he opened up about his status in March in a moving Facebook post: “For ten years the stigma and industry professionals have said, ‘Don’t! It’ll ruin you.’

But here’s the thing. I’m me.

I’m just like you. I have a big heart and I want to be loved and accepted,” wrote Schmid, who also included a photo of himself looking quite hunky in an AIDS Monument t-shirt.

“Love me or hate me, that’s up to you. But, for anyone who has ever doubted themselves because of those scary three letters and one symbol, let me tell you this, you are somebody who matters…. And don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.

I’m Karl Schmid, and I’m an HIV-positive man!”

Other celebs, some directly inspired by Schmid’s bravery, also opened up about their status in 2018 — like beloved E! entertainment reporter Marc Malkin and his husband, Fabian Quezada-Malkin. “Karl is a good friend and was the final inspiration I needed,” Malkin told Plus magazine in August, shortly after coming out poz.

Young Broadway talents Hernando Umana (Kinky Boots) and Dimitri Moise (The Book of Mormon) also both opened up about being poz this year, bringing the much-needed conversation around HIV to millennials, a group with one of the fastest growing infection rates in the U.S.

These celebs turned HIV activists have at least one thing in common — they’re all super passionate about promoting the global U=U consensus now endorsed by hundreds of major health organizations from all over the world. The campaign was created to educate the world about the science behind “Undetectable=Untransmittable,” which simply means that when one’s viral load drops to undetectable (common for those on treatment today), they are unable to transmit HIV to others.

Umana, who bravely came out as gay in addition to being poz on Instagram in August, also included a photo of himself with the post. In it, the 30-year-old performer held a sign that read: “Living with HIV.” He acknowledges those who came before him in the post, and pretty much sums up where we’re at and where we need to get to, in terms of talking about HIV today.

“I stand on the shoulders of the millions of people who had to suffer and die from this disease. I stand on the shoulders of the gay men who were forced out of the closet in such a scary time. These men and woman fought and died to get to where we’re at now — to take a pill at night and never have to worry about dying. To get the disease to a point where it is IMPOSSIBLE to transmit (undetectable). How can I be ashamed of this? I honor their legacy by telling my story. So let’s talk about it. Let’s ask questions. Take your PrEP. Use condoms. Be SAFE. Let’s end this stigma forever and eventually end HIV forever!” Q Desirée Guerrero is the associate editor of Plus magazine. This column is a project of Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, TheBody.com, Q Syndicate, and QSaltLake Magazine.

JANUARY 17, 2019 |

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 27

Issue 292 | Qsaltlake.com

ask mr. manners

BY ROCK MAGEN

Let’s stop

for a moment and do some math. There are roughly 7.2 billion people on the planet earth. Approximately four to eight percent of these people are something other than heterosexual. Let’s assume they’re all gay, just to make the math easier. So, there are 576 million gay people, max, on earth. Compared to 6.6 billion heterosexual people.

It makes logical sense that, at the very least, it would be more difficult to find someone else who was gay just to date, let alone with whom to fall in love.

However, that does not mean that it is impossible.

Diving into the dating

pool can be both exciting or nerve-racking. Dating can include being vulnerable and stepping out of your comfort zone. On the first few dates with a potential partner, you’ll likely notice if you have any chemistry.

While chemistry is important, you should look at other factors before starting a sexual relationship. When you enter a relationship, it’s also important to focus on your health and well-being.

There are several considerations when developing a relationship with another person. While we have all been told the obvious parts of love, but I am going to share a few other “real” considerations about relationships.

greater rates than heterosexual men, according to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey. Twenty-six percent of gay men, 37 percent of bisexual men, 44 percent of lesbian women, and 61 percent of bisexual women will be victims of such violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. You should reach out for help if a partner hurts you or threatens you with physical violence.

Dating can be a wonderful experience. It’s a chance to connect with other people and form a lasting connection with someone special. You may even meet a person with whom you want to have a life-long sexual and emotional relationship.When this occurs, be open with your partner, receive screening for STIs, and choose the best safer sex options for you. Be authentic and transparent with your partner and maintain a sense of personal responsibility. This will ultimately make your relationship stronger and safer. Q

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Love for the realist

The first consideration is sexual health. Your partner may have been sexually active before and it may be a good time to talk about HIV and STIs. Dating someone with an STI or an HIV diagnosis is still possible. Educate yourself about how STIs and HIV transmission occur. This can help you feel confident about remaining protected. It’s a good idea for you and your partner to receive screening for STIs so you can get treatment if needed. The CDC recommends getting screened every three to six months if you have casual sex, if you have more than one sexual partner, or are in an “open” relationship.

Now that we have that out of that way, I want to share another consideration which seems to be growing in our community — abuse. Before entering the dating scene, it’s important you understand the warning signs of domestic violence. Gay and bisexual men are at risk for intimate partner violence, domestic violence, or stalking at equal or

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JANUARY 17, 2019 |

PUZZLES | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 29

Issue 292 | Qsaltlake.com

You Might Be a “White Gay” If...

ACROSS

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku

Q doku Easy

6

3 5 8 8 6 4 3 9 5 7

1

3

2 7

3

2

2 7 4 8 1 3 1 1 6 4 9 6 8 8 4 2 6 1 4 3 4 2 5 1 3 3 5 2 2 5 6 7 7 4 6 2 5 6 4 1 5 8 6 7 4 8 4 1 7 5 8 3

5

3 9 6

5 3

9 7 6

8

4 1

7 4 8 9 6 3 5 7

2 4 7 4 5 1 1 9 3 8 6 5 6 4 3 1 3 2 8 6 9 2 3 7 4 2 5

3 7

5

3

7

2

6 8

9

6 9

3

2 9 3 1 5 8 6 1 9 3 3 5

1 Queen of heaven, to Socrates 5 Partners of bottoms 9 Fashion designer Jacobs 13 Lesbian character in No Exit 14 Pull down 15 John Goodman’s Normal, ___ 16 Affluent, to Frida 17 Part of San Francisco’s BART 18 Title for Chablis 19 ...you have ever been to a concert of ___ 22 Reproduced nonheterosexually?

23 “I Could Have Danced ___ Night” 24 “Lazy River” start 27 Drag queen’s hose problem 30 Doubleday of baseball fame 32 Gore Vidal, ___ Edgar Box 34 Type of sucker 35 ...your favorite diva is Britney ___ 36 “Fancy” singer McEntire 38 ...you own every vinyl album of ___ (with 41-Across) 40 Bullets and cannonballs

9 Drop down like an eagle 10 “Now I get it!”

11 Disencumber 12 Queerly shy 20 Stats on a stallion 21 Labium 24 Not like the gay couple of SNL 25 Frost starter 26 Flaming queen’s crime?

28 Tim of Private Practice 29 Clean-air org.

31 Golden Girl Arthur 32 Hot blood 33 Carolyn who wrote about a Nancy 35 One sheet to the wind?

37 Constellation over Rio 39 US gun lobby 42 Sailor’s patron 44 Pole of your first mate?

47 Billy Budd, for one DOWN 48 Mason of Holly1 He got a blow job... wood with a trumpet 51 Not straight up 2 Seminal computer 53 Treasured violin 3 Some cans and 54 Six feet under bottles 55 Composer Edouard 4 Gaily colored flower 56 Vat colors 5 It rusts the Tin 57 Oral attention Woodsman getter 6 Trireme propellers 58 Butch’s gal 7 Like the beginning 59 Porter, but not Cole of GWTW 60 Big initials in fash8 Slow kind of mail ion

41 See 38-Across 43 Type of job 45 Keep out 46 Tatum of The Bad News Bears 47 It’s hung in a deli 49 Hi-___ graphics 50 He comes between Larry and Curly 52 Gay-friendly student org.

54 ...you voted for ___ 58 Mommie Dearest star Dunaway 61 Noncommittal words 62 In order (to) 63 Poet Gidlow 64 Yarborough of NASCAR 65 Survivor homes 66 Lesbian couples may do this 67 Mireille of World War Z 68 Words before were

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Felonies Misdemeanors DUI Juvenile Courts Protective Orders Wills and Trusts Name Changes

Know who WANTS your business and will treat you with the DIGNITY and RESPECT you deserve

32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY

Qmmunity Groups ALCOHOL & DRUG

Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871  utahaa.org

LGBT meetings: Sun. 3p Acceptance Group, UPC,1380 S Main Mon. 7p Gay Men’s Stag (Big Book Study), UPC, 1380 S Main St 8p G/Q Women’s Mtg, Disability Law Center (rear), 205 N 400 W Tues. 8:15p Live & Let Live, UPC, 1380 S Main Wed. 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Fri. 8p Stonewall Group, UPC, 1380 S Main Crystal Meth Anon  crystalmeth.org

Sun. 1:30pm Clean, Sober & Proud LGBTQIA+Straight

Weds. 6:30 pm, Univ Neuropsych Institute,

Salt Lake County Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic

501 Chipeta Way #1566

660 S 200 E, 4th Floor

 bit.ly/logcabinutah

Thurs. 7pm, USARA, 180 E

Walk-ins M–F 10a–4p

801-657-9611

2100 S, #100 Fri. 7pm, UPC, 1380 S. Main Sat. 11am, First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E BUSINESS

LGBTQ-Affirmative Psycho-therapists Guild of Utah  lgbtqtherapists.com * jim@lgbtqtherapists.com

Utah Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce  utahgaychamber.com * info@utahgaychamber.com

Vest Pocket Business Coalition  vestpocket.org 801-596-8977 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 YWCA of Salt Lake

USARA, 180 E 2100 S

 ywca.org/

Thurs. 1p Unity In

saltlakecity

Sobriety, 175 S 700 E LifeRing Secular Recovery 801-608-8146  liferingutah.org

Sun. 10am Univ. Neuropsychiatric Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Wed. noon, 2319 Foothill Dr, #120

Qsaltlake.com |

322 E 300 S 801-537-8600 HEALTH & HIV

Peer Support for Mental Illness — PSMI Thurs 7pm, Utah Pride Ctr Planned Parenthood

Appts 385-468-4242 Utah AIDS Foundation  utahaids.org * mail@utahaids.org

1408 S 1100 E 801-487-2323 Weber-Morgan Health

Utah Log Cabin Republicans

Utah Stonewall Democrats  utahstonewalldemocrats.org

RELIGIOUS

First Baptist Church  firstbaptist-slc.org * office@firstbaptist-

Mon., Weds 1-4:30p

slc.org 11a Sundays

477 23rd St, Ogden

777 S 1300 E

Appt 801-399-7250

801-582-4921

HOMELESS SVCS

Volunteers of America Homeless Youth Resource Ctr, ages 15–21 880 S 400 W 801-364-0744 Transition Homes: Young Men’s

Sacred Light of Christ  slcchurch.org

823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church  wasatchmcc.org

801-433-1713

801-889-8764

Young Women’s

Sundays except the

801-359-5545

2nd Sunday, 11:15a at

LEGAL

Rainbow Law Free Clinic 2nd Thurs 6:30–7:30pm UofU Law School, 383 S University St POLITICAL

Equality Utah  equalityutah.org * info@equalityutah.org

175 W 200 S, Ste 1004 801-355-3479 Utah Libertarian Party

654 S 900 E

6885 S State St #200

800-230-PLAN

888-957-8824

Crone’s Hollow, 3834 S. Main SOCIAL

1 to 5 Club (bisexual)  fb.me/1to5ClubUtah

The Bonnie and Clyde’s Social Group  bit.ly/BonnieClydeSG

Alternative Garden Club  bit.ly/altgarden *

altgardenclub@gmail.com blackBOARD Men’s Kink/Sex/BDSM

 menwhomove.org

OUTreach Utah Ogden  outreachutah.org

OWLS of Utah (Older, Wiser, Lesbian. Sisters)  bit.ly/owlsutah

Queer Friends  queerfriends.org

qVinum Wine Tasting  qvinum.com  fb.me /QVinum/

Sage Utah, Seniors

Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League  bit.ly/slgoodtime

Stonewall Shooting Sports of Utah  fb.me/stonewall.

sportsofutah Venture Out Utah  facebook.com/groups/

Venture.OUT.Utah YOUTH/COLLEGE

 fb.me/sageutah

Encircle LGBTQ Family

 sageutah@

and Youth Resource Ctr

utahpridecenter.org 801-557-9203 Temple Squares Square Dance Club  templesquares.org

801-449-1293 Utah Bears  utahbears.com  fb.me/utahbears  info@utahbears.com

Weds 6pm Raw Bean Coffee, 611 W Temple Utah Male Naturists  umen.org  info@umen.org

Utah Pride Center  utahpridecenter.org  info@utahpridecenter.org

1380 S Main St 801-539-8800 SPORTS

Pride Community Softball League

 encircletogether.org

fb.me/encircletogether 91 W 200 S, Provo, Gay-Straight Alliance Network  gsanetwork.org

Salt Lake Community College LGBTQ+ 8 slcc.edu/lgbtq/

University of Utah LGBT Resource Center 8 lgbt.utah.edu

200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409 801-587-7973 USGA at BYU  fb.me/UsgaAtByu

Utah State Univ. Access & Diversity Ctr

 fb.me/utahpride.

 usu.edu/

 blackbootsslc.org

softballleague

accesscenter/lgbtqa

Men’s leather/kink/

 pcsl@prideleague.com

Q Kickball League

fetish/BDSM 4th Sats.

 fb.me/qsaltlake.

 blackbootsslc.org

kickball

Gay Writes writing group, DiverseCity 6:30 pm Mondays Community Writing Ctr, 210 E 400 S Ste 8 Get Outside Utah

umen.org

Men Who Move

education, 1st, 3rd Mons. blackBOOTS Kink/BDSM

BUT WITH A CAPE

Issue 292 | JANUARY 17, 2019

 bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah

Sundays, 10:30, 11:30, Sunnyside Park QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club  quacquac.org

Utah Valley Univ Spectrum  facebook.com/

groups/uvuspectrum Weber State University LGBT Resource Center  weber.edu/

 questions@

lgbtresourcecenter

quacquac.org

801-626-7271

JANUARY 17, 2019 |

Issue 292 | Qsaltlake.com

marketplace LENDERS

MARKETPLACE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 33

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34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 292 | JANUARY 17, 2019

THANK YOU to our past board members: BRAD CASE

RYAN TAYLOR STEPHEN SHERMAN-MILLS

TO WEST WENDOVER, Nevada Featuring the Matrons of Mayhem

CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR 2019 ELECTS: VICE CHAIR: Kylee Howell TREASURER: Jon Jepsen BOARD: Michael Aaron BOARD: Macklin Brown BOARD: Dara R. Cohen BOARD: Trey Edwards

NEXT BUS:

Sat. March 2 Mardi Gras Bus!

Returning board members can be found on our website at utahgaychamber.com

1 8 5 6 9 7 4 2 3

7 1 9 5 6 3 2 8 4

6 5 8 4 1 2 7 3 9

2 3 4 9 7 8 1 6 5

7 2 5 1 3 8 9 6 4

4 3 8 6 9 7 1 5 2

1 5 9 2 4 3 8 6 7

2 7 6 5 1 8 9 3 4

9 4 3 7 8 5 6 2 1

2 9 8 7 5 6 3 1 4 7 6 5 1 2 9 3 4 8

3 6 7 9 1 4 2 5 8 8 2 1 4 3 6 7 9 5

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22

It is possible to fall and get up, but the pain of doing so should be avoided. There seems to be some confusion over what is really important. Step back from a situation and revisit when the dust has settled.

Personal matters suck, but sucking can become amazing if you try hard enough.

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21

What makes sense to you baffles someone else. Don’t let this discrepancy become an issue. Agree to disagree. Much can be learned from alternate perspectives. Get behind this person and see life from their point of view. But don’t spend too much time back there. You risk losing yourself.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22–December 20.

A vital task feels like pushing a hard rock uphill. Break up a burden and tackle it a little bit at a time. Consider whether it is worth the effort.

Examine a clear goal and make changes.

The heart may break but it is better to

9 7 3 8 2 4 5 1 6

1 3 4 9 5 6 2 7 8

4 5 1 2 3 8 9 6 7

to simply enjoy this person, and make them enjoy you too! If fun is not the main focus, there is not much point in continuing.

4 6 2 1 3 5 9 7 8

9 6 8 2 4 7 3 5 1

9 7 4 3 8 5 1 2 6

Priorities are good to have, don’t allow them to trap you in a method that isn’t working. Adapt and do what the moment requires. A relationship is in trouble. Take time

5 2 6 4 7 1 8 3 9

How you react to an intense person can have a long lasting effect. Don’t fear taking action but be careful. A fight may cause pain and

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22

8 1 3 6 2 9 4 7 5

GEMINI May 21–June 20

An abundance of opportunity can open doors but remember to prove your worth. There is always someone to compete with. Balance modesty and pride to look your best.

Cheer and satisfaction can come in the form of non-verbal communication, leading to some very pleasing associations.

5 1 7 3 6 4 2 8 9 4 7 1 6 3 5 8 4 2 7 9 1

Someone you work with is feeling down. Do something to help perk them up. Your capacity to satisfy is abundant. Be cautious of providing too much help to someone you don’t like much. They may develop excessive expectations. It helps to be good at what you do, but don’t compromise.

LEO July 23–August 22

6 8 4 9 7 2 5 1 3 8 6 2 7 4 9 1 6 3 5 8 2

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20

It is a happy time. Passions rise and so do you. Don’t let others snow on your parade. It might become necessary to put someone in check, so stay calm and do so. An important person will ask for some help regarding an issue that makes you uneasy. Smile, nod, but move them right along.

3 9 2 8 5 1 4 7 6 3 9 5 1 8 2 5 9 7 6 4 3

There is not much activity going on and boredom has a way of creating false problems to worry about.

Avoid creating conflict with others and keep perceptions in check. Not everyone is out to get you, so take a moment to enjoy the lack of drama.

Alone time works when imagination is used.

8 2 6 7 4 9 3 5 1 6 2 4 8 9 7 1 4 3 2 6 5

ARIES March 20–April 19

CANCER June 21–July 22

3 4 1 2 5 6 8 9 7 5 1 3 4 2 6 5 9 7 3 8 1

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

5 9 7 3 8 1 6 4 2 7 8 9 5 1 3 2 8 6 9 7 4

FEBRUARY

pain can spread. A personal matter should keep it close to home. There is confusion regarding a family matter. By sorting things out, gratitude will come.

7 8 5 6 1 2 4 9 3

q scopes

2 6 1 4 3 9 7 5 8

or cash-only at Club Try-Angles during normal hours

9 3 4 8 7 5 6 1 2

@BigGayFunBus

3 7 2 9 5 1 8 4 6

or 801-997-9763 x2

1 4 9 3 6 8 5 2 7

BigGayFunBus.com

6 5 8 7 2 4 1 3 9

Tickets $25 or

get priorities figured out now and not half way up the hill.

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19

There is never a perfect situation, no matter how amazing a change may seem at the time. Don’t be quick to go back to an old way of doing something. There is always a reason for your actions, even if you don’t understand the choice at the time. It can take time for things to feel right.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18

Romantic feelings could develop with a co-worker or casual friend. Not much has changed, but a little change in the heart can create a big difference. Put faith in feelings and don’t fear exploring a new outlook.

Life is about change, even when the routines seem to be the same.

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19

It could be hard learning skills needed to overcome a problem. Don’t fear asking for help from a buddy. Learn new ways to accomplish goals. A financial situation takes a toll. Spend wisely during this time. Luckily, your wish list is on the light side, so hold off on big purchases until later.Q

JANUARY 17, 2019 |

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 35

Issue 292 | Qsaltlake.com

DINING GUIDE Valentine’s Day dinner ideas that are easy even if you suck at cooking If you are anything like me, your cooking repertoire consists of, like, three really basic meals. For me, those dishes are pasta, tacos, and stir fry. This could also be why my dinner delivery spending is way over budget. In the event that you also suck at cooking, but you want to have a romantic dinner this Valentine’s Day, don’t panic-order $200 from the local steakhouse just yet. Whether you plan to surprise your partner with your skills in the kitchen or you’d rather take on the culinary challenge together, these four easy Valentine’s Day dinner ideas will have you feeling like Martha Stewart.

The simplicity of these recipes doesn’t diminish how delicious they are. Plus, they won’t leave you feeling so

full that you can’t hook up later on that evening. We are talking about Valentine’s Day, after all. So dim the lights and set up candles or twinkly LEDs to transform your house, dorm, or apartment into a more romantic setting.

Presentation is everything, so arrange the food carefully, pull out your classiest dinnerware, and make sure all the silverware matches. Martha would be proud.

Lemon Garlic Shrimp can be ready to serve in just 15 short minutes.

Cheddar-Beer Fondue is easy and fun.

Lamb Chops with Mint Garnish are much easier than they sound.

Forget pizza and go for flatbread. Q

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36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | THE FRIVOLIST

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 292 | JANUARY 17, 2019

the frivolist

8

ways I’m snatching my happiness back in 2019

BY MIKEY ROX

I’ll say it:

The past few years have been a fucking nightmare.

The climate in this country — and, arguably, the world — is so volatile that it’s a wonder any of us get a good night’s sleep.

I find myself angry, negative and depressed for no good reason, but at the end of the day how much does any of the shit we put ourselves through really matter? After a lot of reflection, I’ve come to realize that it doesn’t. None of it. Not a single thing impeding your or my happiness is worth what we’re feeding it. So why not stop?

I am — starting now. Here’s how I’m snatching back my happiness in 2019.

myself to 1 Allowing be proud of me

My grandmother — the one who disowned me for being gay — used to talk a lot about the importance of humility. In fact, she prosthelytized the importance of many “Christian” ideals, but rarely exercised them herself, especially where love and acceptance is concerned. And that’s the primary problem with people trying to teach you to be you: They have no goddamn idea what they’re talking about. As a result, I grew up being ashamed of who I was while not allowing myself to celebrate the growth and progress I make as a human being every day. But that stops here. I have so much to be proud of as not only a man but a gay man. I’m young(ish), successful, blessed in so many ways, and I’ve done all my adulting on my own.

That deserves a big pat of the back — and I’m giving it to myself this year.

giving into short2 Not term gratification

I love shopping. If we’re hunting for clothing and home-good bargains, I’m there in a jif. But it’s an expensive habit to maintain. I update my wardrobe and add décor to my homes more often than I’d like to admit (even though my bank account serves as a constant reminder),

but I’ve recently made a resolution that nothing new comes through these doors for the entire year. How will I do that?

I’ve started by cutting up credit cards and unsubscribing from every marketing email that has landed in my inbox since January 1. It’s a virtual ghost town in there these days. The next phase is to start editing my closets and my homes for items I can sell to help reach my New Year’s saving resolution, which this year is in the double-digit thousands — all cash in hand. It’s lofty, but I’m determined — and that’s all the motivation I need.

3 Downsizing my entire life

I’ll start selling my material possessions this year because I don’t need them where I’m going. My long-term goal for 2019 is to unload all my real estate, purchase a van that’s suitable for daily life, and hit the road. As I’ve sat in my properties — alone — for the past few years, I’ve had plenty of time to think, and the question I keep coming back to is, what the hell are you doing here? The answer is nothing. I’m doing nothing where I am but wasting the time I could be spending out there in the world experiencing life instead of literally watching it pass me by.

It’s a major change that’ll signify the start of the second half of my life story, but I eat challenges like this for breakfast.

out alcohol so I can 4 Cutting remember what I’m really like

Many people have a difficult relationship with alcohol, myself included. And as I reflect on the over 20 years that I’ve allowed alcohol to ruin relationships, squander opportunities and otherwise fuck me up physically, mentally and emotionally, I have to consider the alternative. So beginning at the top of the year, I decided to live alcohol free until April 1. That’s not the date when I’ll start drinking again, but rather a date that gives me enough time to clear my head, concentrate on my fitness goals and then weigh my options. Will I be the better person I want to be, or am I a dick sober too? Time will tell.

more people 5 Finding who raise my spirits

I don’t like to put down our own LGBTQ community, but we can be real cunts to one another. It’s not just us, though.

There are so many people out there who are committed to infecting everyone around them with their negativity that I sometimes dread leaving the house.

Everybody has an attitude these days, and for what? Who knows, but I’m canceling all my dates with those downers and only giving time to people who make me feel good about myself. Thank you, next.

as much political 6 Avoiding media as I can

I’m turning off the TV, changing the settings on the news I receive, and avoiding all political debates on social media. It’ll drive you fucking nuts if you give into it, and we can’t let the trolls control us.

Look the other way and have nothing to say is my new motto. It’s everybody for themselves out there.

7 Practicing more self-care

More hot baths, facials, massages, meditation, gym classes, yoga, (safe) SEX, and whatever else makes my mind and body feel like I deserve this. Because I do.

to do anything 8 Refusing I don’t want to do

I’m already very good at saying no, but I have a conscience and I sometimes feel bad when I’m direct to someone who’s kind. I don’t want to hurt their feelings, but I’m also not willing to engage in situations that bore me or make me uncomfortable or that cost me money I don’t want to spend. Thank you for asking, but I’m politely declining, perhaps for eternity. I don’t owe you an answer why either.

Get out there and snatch back your happiness this year too, friends. Clock’s ticking. Q Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He spends his time writing from the beach with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @mikeyrox

JANUARY 17, 2019 |

BOOKS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37

Issue 292 | Qsaltlake.com

the bookworm sez REVIEW BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

‘THE CHILDREN OF HARVEY MILK: HOW LGBTQ POLITICIANS CHANGED THE WORLD’

BY ANDREW REYNOLDS, C. 2019, OXFORD UNIVERSITY PRESS, $34.95, 354 PAGES

Your eyes are on 2020.

One election is past and thoughts are on the next one: votes equal change, and you’re ready for it. You’ll be the next in a long line of changers, as you’ll see in the new book The Children of Harvey Milk: How LGBTQ Politicians Changed the World by Andrew Reynolds.

In the latter part of June, 1978, Harvey Milk, the “Mayor of Castro Street,” called former Army nurse and Castro Street “fixture” Gilbert Baker and asked him to make something special for the upcoming Gay Freedom Parade. At that time, the rainbow flag was “a rebel flag,” but Baker subsumed it into a symbol of pride.

By the end of that year, Milk was dead and rainbow flags were still “rare and exotic,” as were openly gay politicians.

Just a handful of “LGB” people were in office around the world at that time; it would be years before the first openly transgender individual would be elected.

Here, Reynolds tells their stories, and others, worldwide.

He begins with a battle in New Zealand’s Parliament that was narrowly-won, followed four years later by marriage equality victory in nearby Australia. He writes of two gay politicians who squared off in Great Britain, noting that laws against buggery were still on the books when they did battle. He also tells of a Dutch politician who, by mere months,

preceded Harvey Milk as the world’s first openly gay man to serve in office. And he shares a story of politics in Ireland, “the first country in the world to pass gay marriage by popular referendum.”

Closer to home, Reynolds writes about Barney Frank, his “first political battle” for civil rights in Mississippi, and the “undercelebrated” woman who inspired him. Reynolds recalls the beginning of the AIDS crisis, and what it was like to be active in politics then. He writes of trans politicians Sarah McBride and Danica Roem, and the fierce but highly ironic story of Pauli Murray, whose great-aunt’s land donation helped build a university that ultimately denied bathroom access to trans individuals.

If you see The Children of Harvey Milk on a shelf somewhere, you may be confused by the title. No, author Andrew Reynolds isn’t referring to small humans; his title instead refers to babes in political office, worldwide, who happen to be gay.

For some readers, that could present problems: fully half of Reynolds’ book is about politics overseas, and some of it won’t make sense unless you have basic knowledge of how other governments work. Without it, you may not fully appreciate the significance of what you’ll read — and if that makes you feel a tinge of regretful isolationism, know that, happily, Reynolds is a good teacher. In it, readers will easily learn, and what they learn is absolutely inspiring.

For political animals, this book is an easy choice. For the slightly clueless, it’s a know-your-history book that doesn’t dwell strictly domestically. For a casual reader, it may be challenging but in the end, The Children of Harvey Milk could be the most informative book you’ll lay eyes on. Q

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38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 292 | JANUARY 17, 2019

the perils of petunia pap smear

A tale of things that go boom in the night

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road

to Christmas dinner is fraught with danger and excitement.

On the night before Christmas, yours truly was lying on the couch like a beached whale, snacking on holiday sugar cookies with tons of extra icing, watching Ralphie shoot his eye out in A Christmas Story while fondly reminiscing about this year’s gift-shopping experiences.

Picture it: My immense rotunditude, wearing a fake fur coat lying in the parking lot of Target, with brightly blinking breasticles pointing skyward, brightly shining into the heavens as if they were landing beacons for Santa Christina and her eight tiny rein-twinks.

I had just finished prying my 4-inch stiletto heel from the cold dead grip of a cute little old grandma, whom I had just trampled, as I victoriously clenched tightly in my hand the very last Chia Pet. God how I love “the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat” that is shopping on Black Friday.

According to my well-laid plans, Christmas dinner was going to be a lowkey affair. Nothing fancy, just a crock pot of sloppy Joes and a plethora of chips and dip which we could graze. I was interrupted from my leisurely holiday memories by Mr. Pap Smear. He decided to throw a big wrench into my works by announcing that he really, desperately wanted — no, needed a turkey for Christmas dinner.

7pm, Jan. 18, Feb. 15, Mar. 15 First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E fb.me/matronsofmayhem

Well shit! That ruined my restful holiday. Now suddenly I’m a queen with an urgent mission!

I slithered off the couch with all the grace and speed of an elephant seal in heat on a rocky shore, lumbering to find the love interest of the moment. As I hit the floor, I struck with enough force to knock the wind out of me with a great galumph of gas erupting from my buticus rotundus which knocked my left breasticle askew, causing it to start blinking, thus making it necessary to make only left turns on my emergency expedition to the grocery store. Therefore, only able to make left turns, my journey to the Walmart on Third West had to proceed by way of Magna.

I thankfully procured the last unfrozen turkey within the entire Intermountain West. But sadly, I trampled another little old lady nearly to death, but I didn’t feel too badly about it because she was wearing the most gawd awful ugly Christmas sweater I’ve ever seen. I’m sure, in my trampling, I was performing community beautification, for which I probably should win a service award.

When I got the fowl home, I sprinkled the damn bird with spices and then placed it in a glass baking dish with a couple of cups of water and put it in a 450-degree oven for the first hour. By then it was midnight and I turned down the temperature to let it slow-roast overnight.

When I checked it, I noticed the water had evaporated, so I went to add some more. Now, as a little princess growing up in Idaho, my mother taught me that I should never put a frozen dish into a hot oven because it would break. With this knowledge, I realized that I needed to add hot water. I ran the tap until it was scalding, filled a glass and poured it into the dish, shut the oven door, and retired to my boudoir for my long winter’s nap.

Not two minutes later, a huge kaboom assaulted my ears. The house shook. My goodness, I thought the house had been struck by a crashing Santa Claus.

I ran into the kitchen, and to my horror, saw that smoke was sifting from every seam in the stove. I threw open the oven door to a virtual volcano of steam. It was as if Krakatoa was erupting in my kitchen. The smoke alarm started to screech, frightening me so that my shriek was added to the cacophony. To my dismay, I discovered the glass dish had exploded. There were countless shards of glass all over the bottom of the oven, with a thick cloud of steam streaming from the oven, and the turkey left naked on the oven rack.

Not wanting to waste the $35 for the bird, I grabbed it with tongs, scraped the shards of glass from its bottom, placed it into a metal pan, added more water, shoved it back into the oven, slammed the door, and went back to bed.

On Christmas morning, I took the cooked bird out, sliced it up, and served it. I waited until Boxing Day to clean all the broken glass from the oven.

This story leaves us with several important questions: 1. Is trampling little old ladies permissible if I’m wearing festive holiday sequins?

2. If I draped a dark towel over my blinking left breasticle, would the police permit me to make a right-hand turn?

3. Does glass add a mystery flavor and texture to the turkey?

4. Should I patent this method of cooking turkey as my secret recipe?

5. Is serving turkey seasoned with shards of glass considered the original party fowl?

6. Did I like this turkey because of my fondness for shining sparkly things?

7. Should I make a necklace from the shards of broken glass and turkey bones?

8. Should the Annie Lennox song “Walking on Broken Glass” become my new Christmas anthem?

These and other eternal questions will be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear Q

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