BOOK REVIEW | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37
NOVEMBER, 2020 | ISSUE 317 | Qsaltlake.com
the bookworm sez REVIEW BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER
Found in Transition: A Mother’s Evolution During Her Child’s Gender Change BY PARIA HASSOURI, MD C. 2020, NEW WORLD LIBRARY, $25.95, 215 PAGES
In your mother’s book, you were known before you were born. She noted every kick, every headbump, every stretch you made as she carried you. She felt your burps, and when you rolled over. And though she’d never met you, she recognized you the minute you arrived because your mother knew you before you were born. But as in the
new book Found in Transition by Paria Hassouri, MD, a mother can’t know everything. She always wanted to be a mom. Born in the U.S., raised in Iran, Paria Hassouri was a teen when she returned to the U.S., where her mother insisted that Hassouri and her sisters get an education. But schooling was secondary in Hassouri’s eyes. She’d wanted children since she was a child herself, and was particularly eager to have daughters, though she was not terribly disappointed that her first two babies were sons. For much of her life, the second-born, Ava, had been a handful. There were many conversations with teachers through the years, Hassouri recalls: teachers worried that Ava was depressed, had behavioral issues, or was suicidal. Ava was a smart kid with great creativity and she loved to try new things, but she didn’t tend to stick with them for more
than a few months. Because of that, when, at the edge of adolescence, Ava finally told her parents that she was a girl, Hassouri thought it was another “phase.” To her own later guilt, she refused to believe her child. Though Hassouri was a pediatrician, her first identity was as the mother of three children, two boys and a girl, and now what? She was confused, wounded, and greatly saddened. She and her husband had carefully named their offspring according to family tradition, and now one of them wanted a new name and new pronouns that sounded wrong to Hassouri’s ears. She mourned that her second-born would never become the man she’d envisioned. She cried and grieved. And yet, she writes, there really were just two options. “I choose figuring it out,” she said. “I choose my child.” Reading Found in Transition is tough – not for what it is but
by. Take a grasp and know you did the right thing.
Rest assured you’re doing fine.
for what author Paria Hassouri says. It’s almost like sandpaper on a sunburn. Foremost, there are a lot of hard truths inside this memoir, for which Hassouri states “I have to own them and be honest about them,” and that took courage – although confessions seem to be necessary here, for her and for readers. This book, in fact, would’ve been much different absent those harsh, sometimes incomprehansible feelings and thoughts; readers may’ve even sensed that it wasn’t quite complete. No, it would have been the lesser without its brutal truths from this maternal point of view, because here’s the thing: though Ava is a constant presence in a memoir that truly wouldn’t exist without her, this is really not her story. It might make you angry, it might make you cry, but this tale belongs to her mother; indeed, Found in Transition is one-hundred-percent a mother’s book. Q
q scopes NOVEMBER BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS
ARIES March 20–April 19
Much progress succeeds in a personal relationship. Celebrate and spend time with those who matter to you. While it might not always be appropriate to flirt, make sure to keep the dynamic playful and lighthearted. The more you work on this relationship, the more you can grow.
TAURUS Apr 20–May 20
An attempt to make things better could be unsuccessful. But don’t let this hold you back from trying again. The second time will not only go smoothly but will actually be favorable. Don’t be afraid to get messy and find a way to provide a better life for yourself. You deserve the best!
GEMINI May 21–June 20
A willingness to reach out to a friend in need leads to a rewarding outcome for you both. Anyone who puts you down is not worth your time. The reward is that you’ve done what needs to be done while others stand
CANCER June 21–July 22
Put together a group that knows how to get the job done. You work best with a network, even if some of the links are a tad weak. At the end of the day, the circle will produce a lot of joy. It may get a little messy but no order ever resulted without a bit of chaos. Keep on producing!
LIBRA Sept 23–October 22
However you spin it, there is no way of convincing yourself that running away is the right choice. That’s probably because it isn’t. The real path to glory is by putting faith in others and growing your address book. As independent as you like to be, your favorite activities are not done solo.
SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21
LEO July 23–August 22
Someone you have left out of your social scene may not be there when they finally come to mind. Spend some time ensuring that no one who has put their trust in you is forgotten. Take stock of your friends and maybe even start a group chat. It’s amazing how much the world needs you.
VIRGO August 23–Sep. 2
Nov. 22–December 20.
Everything you thought was going right comes into question. The best way to turn things around is to eliminate elements that provide doubt. In the end, focus on what is going right for you and cultivate it. Focus on staying healthy and having a positive outlook and the rest will fall into place. Even if the structure of your life is crumbling, it isn’t ready to fall anytime soon. Spend a little time working on what needs to be done, but don’t let it distract from enjoying life. Working on the spirit and getting a grip on things is the only way you’ll prevail.
SAGITTARIUS
A family drama or relationship complication could dampen your spirits. But the lessons about life you are learning are crucial. Find time to make things right and never forget that bad can result in good. That’s not to say that everything will be as good as it was bad,
but you’ll find satisfaction.
CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19
The best way to tackle big messes is to clean one at a time. The same goes for trying to please other people. Not everyone is stimulated in the same way, so get to know them on their terms. You’ll find that the more you adapt, the more you help yourself by helping others.
AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18
The question keeps coming up in your mind regarding the location of a great person you once knew. It has been a long time and you could desire to catch up. The best place to start is by asking common friends or family members. Don’t put in too much effort. But if you can do it, it’s worth it.
PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19
A secret you once held dear is forgotten but only triggered by an important event. Take time to figure out what you should keep to yourself and what begs for sharing. In the end, giving up information no longer matters as long as no one gets hurts. Q
