BOOK REVIEW | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37
FEBRUARY, 2021 | ISSUE 320 | Qsaltlake.com
the bookworm sez REVIEW BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER
Raising Them: Our Adventure in Gender Creative Parenting BY KYL MYERS C.2020, BRILLIANCE AUDIO, $34.99, 6 DISCS, 7:18 IN LENGTH
Pink or blue? When you’re pregnant, everybody asks that question. What kind of clothing or toys will you require: dolls or trucks, pink or blue? They’ll want to know about the gender reveal party, and what kind of names you’re considering. Do you want a boy or girl or, as in the new audiobook Raising Them by Kyl Myers, do you mind not knowing for a few years? Long before she ever became a mother, even before she met
and married her husband, Brent, Kyl Myers had thought about what she calls “gender creative parenting.” Myers identifies as queer and she was somewhat of an activist, so she was pretty well-versed on a subject that asks why we, as a society, place emphasis on the chromosomes of an infant when physical, often intimate, body parts have nothing to do with simply being a child. Once Myers was pregnant, this became more than just something to think about, and she and her husband decided to raise their child gender-free. They weren’t the first to do so: in years past, other parents around the world went public with successful gender creative parenting. Still, it took plenty of determined pre-planning: Myers would deny knowledge of the baby’s gender to anyone who didn’t absolutely, genuinely need to know. That meant restricting diaper-duty, and it meant four grandparents who
wouldn’t know their grandchild’s gender until the child was several months old. Once Zoomer Coyote entered the world, there would be no pink or blue bassinet cards in the hospital nursery. Myers had to learn to find non-gendered infant and toddler clothing for her child, gender-neutral-hued toys for them to play with, and items that didn’t scream “Boy!” or “Girl!”. Later, Zoomer’s daycare was “cool” with the neutrality, but strangers and even other parents were a challenge and were nonetheless challenged to open their minds. Raising Them will bring out a lot of emotions that will likely be dependent on which side of parenting you stand. It’s intriguing but exhausting, too chirpy, and too, too sunny. It’s also too precious by half, and the cute-Zoomer tales wear thin after a (very, very short) while. And yet, the idea of giving your child time to know themself is intriguing. Still,
the meantime, take some time to have a good time.
involved and show your stuff.
author Kyl Myers should be commended for not throwing in the towel with hurricane force. Indeed, her struggles were exactly what you might expect. Although… particularly if you’re expecting a baby, Myers may inspire you. Clearly, gender creative parenting involves work, vigilance, and forethought, and while it’s not for everyone, it’s a compelling enough idea to stick in your mind like glue. You’ll be convinced that it’s worth a try, even if only sometimes. And this: if you can’t rest without knowing, Myers drops hints to soothe your boy-or-girl curiosity, but that’s not the end of this story. No, this is a website-supported, mind-opening, ongoing tale for parents-to-be, or for anyone who wishes they’d been reared in a similar kind of household. That you? Read Raising Them, or you’ll be blue. Q
q scopes FEBRUARY BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS
ARIES March 20–April 19
Everything you are going through is amazing, as long as you don’t spend much focus on what is going wrong. Allow bad things to slide off and have faith that the universe will repair itself. In the end, it’s better to be happy than perfect.
TAURUS Apr 20–May 20
Congratulations are in order for the time being. There is much that you have accomplished, and even the small victories are worth celebrating. Be sure to include friends and family in the festivities but don’t get too full of yourself.
GEMINI May 21–June 20
Even if no one is coming to your rescue, there is a good solution to the problems you face. Never let anyone get in your way, and take the time to focus on what needs to be done. In
CANCER June 21–July 22
There could be a long waiting period to find the answer you seek. Don’t fret, for there is a lot of discovery that comes with waiting. Even if something doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t mean it won’t someday. Enjoy the mystery.
LIBRA Sept 23–October 22
The dread you’ve been feeling for a while now is starting to pass. It may not seem likely, but good things are coming. Take the time to prepare and learn how to be happy again. You may have been a good sport, but soon you won’t need to try.
SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21
LEO July 23–August 22
Give yourself a little break and take some time for yourself. You know what you like better than anybody else. When you think about the possibilities, ask yourself if you can teach others to provide the same thing. The answers may surprise you.
VIRGO August 23–Sep. 2
Nov. 22–December 20.
Whatever is being concealed by someone you desire, it isn’t worth losing yourself over. A lot is going on behind the scenes, but smoke and mirrors are simply a way of generating awe. The real truth comes from the quiet moment to come. Feeling good and looking gorgeous is always the best way to be! Everyone could be looking at you if you know where to show off and not look like an arrogant punk. Find a forum that really makes you proud to be
SAGITTARIUS
It A heavy burden seems to be lifting. Even if there is still work to do, what remains to be done may actually be fun. Gather your marbles and get ready to make some progress in your love life. Nothing is better than a fresh
start, even a late one
CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19
Overthinking the big questions is nothing new to you. However, finding small truths is somewhat challenging these days. The best thing you can do is figure out how to use small answers to answer big dilemmas. It turns out that size.
AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18
A new age seems to have dawned, even if it really hasn’t. It could be the world or simply your perception of it, but this could be a good time to apply new feelings to old associations. Get finances in order.
PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19
No matter what the cost may be, it’s not worth getting into trouble over a matter that compromises your principles. You never intend to harm others, but you could be blind to their needs and agenda. Find enjoyment in walking in others’ shoes.
