BOOK REVIEW | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 31
August, 2021 | Issue 326 | Qsaltlake.com
the bookworm sez REVIEW BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER
¡HOLA PAPI! HOW TO COME OUT IN A WALMART PARKING LOT AND OTHER LIFE LESSONS BY JOHN PAUL BRAMMER C.2021, SIMON & SCHUSTER, $26, 224 PAGES
Your best friend definitely has an opinion. You need advice and she offers an answer, though it might not be the one you seek. You may get sound counsel but at the wrong time, with sentiments directly opposing what you were thinking. And yet, you have to be grateful. As in the new book “¡Hola Papi!” by John Paul Brammer, the words come from the heart. Growing up in a small Oklahoma town of Cache, John
q scopes AUGUST BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS
ARIES March 20–April 19 End the cycle of hurting by choosing not to care. That’s not to say that important things shouldn’t be attended to, but simply to acknowledge that the pain you feel is due to a frivolous endeavor. Make time for feelings that matter.
TAURUS Apr 20–May 20 Whatever is going on with a relationship, there is no better time to take things to the next level. Figure out what you love and what you can share, but don’t be afraid to spend time alone. Going solo has it’s pleasures.
GEMINI May 21–June 20 Nothing is better than a vacation, and it doesn’t involve going far. New and exciting places are a good idea. But at the
Paul Brammer knew nothing about being gay. He had little relationship experience, in fact, and he didn’t learn about hookup apps until he was a junior in college. Once he found those ap MCDANIELS ps, though, he was “instantly hooked.” Much to his amusement, “some white guy” said “Hola papi” in greeting on an app one day and Brammer, “a mixedrace Mexican American with noodle arms” never forgot it — because hey, wouldn’t that be a great name for an advice column? He pitched it, landed a gig in conjunction with Grindr and it was a landslide hit with users, even though Brammer felt like an imposter sometimes. Was he really qualified to do this? He wondered, then he remembered what he’d want if he needed advice... When asked what one can do to let go of past hurts, Brammer answers with a tale of his middle-school years, of
bullying, inadequecies, and teen angst, and of coming out, growing up, and not letting someone be defined by the worst of the past. He writes of puppy-love with a girl when he was kinda sure he was attracted to boys, and how the experience wasn’t a waste. He remembers co-workers at a nearby taco stand who taught him to speak Spanish, to belong, and that “Lo siento” isn’t always necessary. He tells readers about releasing the love he thought was “the one”; about the ohso-awkward night a childhood bully approached him on a dating app; and how to let go of a dream, and a nightmare situation. You know this: Dear Emmy and Dear Posey can always be relied upon to present some poor schlub with drama worse than yours. You know they’ll offer snappy, sometimes snarky, maybe dismissive advice — but that might not be as
end of the day, what you crave isn’t distance, but variety. Shake things up and see what is nearby.
amazing how much you can enjoy being in the middle.
CANCER June 21–July 22 The longer you spend away from a loved one or special person, the harder it will be to focus. While you have your head in your work, the heart has a way of screaming for attention. A phone call does the trick, so hit them up.
LEO July 23–August 22 Help is on the way, even if you don’t want it. How grace by keeping showing gratitude in a simple yet firm way. A financial matter is bound to cause some stress but what you need many not come in the form of dollar signs.
VIRGO August 23–Sep. 2 Take notice of something that is making you happier than you realize. It’s easy to see things in terms of black or white, so add a little color into your perspective. It’s
LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 A hidden talent has been shared with a select few. Now is a good time to widen the audience. There is some real exposure to be gained that could provide much needed help. Go out and show the world what you’ve got.
SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 Don’t focus too hard on the negative aspects of a personal relationship. See that we all make mistakes and be either a guide or a mentor. Though it’s helpful to make a judgement, too firm a grip can be counterproductive.
SAGITTARIUS
Nov. 22–December 20.
Even if you don’t make it out of the gate, take time to stretch your wings. Try different things and meet new people. The world can be a mundane place, so adding a little contrast will make it shine a little
applicable as what’s in “¡Hola Papi!”. Agony Aunties don’t normally insert themselves into their answers quite like author John Paul Brammer does; nope, he makes his advice into a memoir that resonates. Each mini-chapter here begins with a question, followed by what feels like a personal answer written specifically to the forlorn rather than to the world — in a story, really, but one that’s relatable. It’s fun to read but, more importantly, it wraps advice-seekers (and not just the writer!) in a comfortable tale that might make them laugh but definitely makes them feel unalone. Another nice thing: this book is by a gay man, but the advice he offers is for anyone, of any age. If you can remember that there are some eyebrow-raisers snuggled amidst laughs and sighs, of “¡Hola Papi!”, you’ll have a high opinion. Q brighter. Have fun!
CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19
The process you are using to find structure may have some minor flaws. Exam plans you are making for yourself and be sure they still make sense. Even if an adjustment is made, goals don’t have to stretch much.
AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 Jump into bed with a business partner who gets you. Even if the agendas are not the same, there is always a mutual gain to be had. Find that perfect spot where you both see eye to eye, ride the train and hang on tight.
PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 The hardest realization you can have is knowing what once worked no longer does. Adjust routines to match your current reality and embrace it. Change is like a ferris wheel. Eventually you end up where you started anyway. Q
