How to manage stress

Ralph Waldo Emerson, the famous American writer and philosopher, used to say: “Take it easy: all this won't matter a hundred years from now”. The anxiety that generates stress is often related to an issue or problem that has not yet happened or developed; therefore, it is not about the present. What now seems to you to be a problem, put into a broader perspective, may appear to you as neutral or you may even identify it as a resource. Even all the problems that beset your present are not necessarily so absolute if you try to look at them from another perspective. If you shift your focus from a detailed (microscopic) to a broader (helicopter) view, you will be able to gain more insight into the system within which the problem lies. This will help you reduce anxiety. Stress is a typical adaptation reaction of the body to a general physical or psychic change.

What can we do to manage stress better?

We can change our behavior in many ways: directly, through actions, and indirectly, through our minds. The term “life skills” generally refers to a range of basic cognitive, emotional and interpersonal skills, which enable people to function competently on both an individual and social level. In other words, they are skills and abilities that enable us to acquire versatile and positive behavior, thanks to which we can deal effec - tively with the demands and challenges of everyday life. Let us look at them:

• self-awareness;

• emotion management;

• empathy;

• creativity;

• critical sense;

• making good decisions;

• problem solving;

• effective communication;

• effective interpersonal relationships.

Acquiring these skills, at any age, and using them throughout working life, enables people to cope more effectively with most stressors to which they may be subjected.

Give yourself 21 days to change Start with a check-up of the list above, noting which ones you would like to develop the most and remembering that with a good level of awareness you are already halfway there. The first action is to 'fine-tune' your internal clock, i.e. to start training yourself to “change something” within yourself. This process should take at least three weeks, below which you may see too little lasting effect. So, for three weeks, avoid spontaneously putting yourself in stressful conditions, no matter how trivial they may seem to you. Limit stressful situations, never losing sight of your own well-being and willpower; do not give in to frustrating situations. Start exercising less passive and less aggressive behavior. Instead of reasoning according to "Why not?", i.e. mainly noticing the negative reasons - the "no" - for what you are experiencing, start asking "Why yes?", i.e. the positive reasons for doing what you are doing - the "yes". Dedicate yourself, as soon as possible, to something that you really enjoy, without feeling guilty about it: time better spent is precisely that which will allow you to regenerate yourself psychologically. During these 21 days, take a break and act slowly: savoring, for example, food, looking around while walking, etc. Evaluate each situation according to what it is, not according to what it will be later. If, for example, you will be on holiday or away for a weekend during these three weeks, enjoy your holiday to the full and do not get caught up in other thoughts such as, for example, something to be solved when you return home or to the office. Rest assured that that problem is patient and will wait for you! Move or skip a certain commitment, develop the ability to select and not do everything. Avoid thinking: “I must be perfect in every situation”; “I cannot refuse others' requests”. Replace these thoughts with: “I will do this one step at a time”; “Everything will be fine”; “Relax, keep calm”; “I have seen worse things than this”; “I can undo the worry now”. Remember that every change comes with stress; therefore, during these three weeks, try not to lead an unregulated life. Exercise at least twice a week, take the stairs instead of using the lift, walk instead of using transport, stretch. This will increase the production of certain positive substances for your mood and for the three systems involved in the release of stress hormones.

Mental vitamins

Mental vitamins are phrases and ideas that give us extra gear, but which if not used in sufficient doses cause particular thought deficiencies. We can immediately start supplementing our thoughts with healthier ones, with respect to specific situations and people. When we are preparing to act:

• There is nothing to worry about, only things to take care of;

• I have already faced difficult situations, and I am still alive;

• I will play my game;

• There are negative and positive contingencies.

When we confront others:

• I stay calm and focused, I will perform better;

• The person in front of me is always a human being like me;

• I know my job.

When we have to manage reactions:

• Fear and anger are a product of me, like tranquility and joy, and are normal feelings;

• Breathe. Never forget to breathe, deeply;

• I am able to choose what I want to control.

When we have to return to normal:

• No matter what, I have made the best choices available to me;

• The system will help me solve the problem if I facilitate it;

• After all, that's how it is! I can relax and recover.

Learning to activate assertive reactions can significantly help us reduce the anxiety we may experience in our relationships with others and with changes in the world around us. By reducing anxiety, we create a virtuous circle within which our assertive behavior has a positive impact on our perceived quality of life, allowing us to consider stress an important ally and inexhaustible source of vital energy, rather than an enemy to be eliminated.