Singles Pleasing the Lord Newsletter June 2014

Singles Pleasing the Lord Annual Newsletter

A Message from Pastor Julius

Table of Contents Singles: Say “Yes” To Love _________________________ 1, 3 How Does A Person Respond When They Value Something? ___________________________ 2 Why Is It Important For Women To Pray For Men? ___________________________ 4 Outreach and the Single Life – The Opportunity to “Get Out of Myself ” ___________________________ 5 We Love Our Volunteers ___________________________ 6

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OVE HAS SO MANY dimensions. However, there is a big difference between “expressing love” and “having sex.”

The lie that hell wants us to believe is that single people practicing chastity and celibacy are not experiencing love, or that they “lack love” in their life. It’s as if hell wants us to believe that if you aren’t married or aren’t in a relationship, then you must be living a loveless existence. The implication is that the only way two people can express love for each other is through sex. This shouldn’t be so.

First Corinthians 7:35 (KJV) says that as a single “you should attend upon the Lord without distraction.” The true prize of singleness is undistracted devotion to God. Paul is telling singles to tend to the Lord without distraction.

The fact is that love isn’t just experienced through marriage or sex.

There is such a thing as “expressing love beyond having sex.” Having sex

In other words, as a single person, you don’t need an outlet for sexual expression, you need more of God. Paul is instructing singles to “rest their sexual desires” in the above passage. The simple fact is that as a

with someone is not the only way we show love. If you think this is true, then you may have a very narrow and perversely warped definition of what true love is. The desire to love and be loved finds its ultimate fulfillment in our relationship with Christ.

single person, your sexual desires “rest quietly” when your love relationship with Jesus your Lord is developed with all intensity. In other words, when you have more of a heavenly kingdom mindset, it becomes easier to rest your sexual urges.

Parenting With A Purpose ___________________________ 7 Single’s Mother’s Spa Day ___________________________ 8 Revisiting Becoming Marriage Material____________________ 9 Partner Testimonies _______________________ 10, 12 Godly Women Choose to Be Accountable________________ 11 Empowering Single Men of God __________________________ 12

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A Message from the Editor: E. Keith Ealy

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How Does A Person Respond When They Value Something?

ANY OF US HAVE unique ways of showing that we value a person, thing, concept or otherwise. In an effort to suggest ways to show value to the tremendous work being done here at Singles Pleasing The Lord, I decided to ask others how they place value on the things that they care about most.

First, let me start by introducing myself. It is with great pleasure that I greet you as the new editor of the Singles Pleasing The Lord Newsletter. I am looking forward to many more publications To return to the question of value, however, I began by posing four simple questions in an open forum on Facebook:

W hat is the one thing (conceptual, material, or otherwise) that you value most?

a way that honors God, and loving his wife as Christ loves the church.

Don demonstrates that he values his family by loving his wife as Christ loves the church, partnering with her in order to be utterly involved with their children, and exemplifying Christ in order to teach his three daughters the way that they should go in their lives. Moreover, Don certainly recommends a godly family to oth-

Would you recommend this thing to others?

If you would recommend this thing to others, how would you go about introducing it to others?

Don Welton is a family man.

Consequently, he values his family most. Don and I met years ago at the first church I attended to which he and I both belonged. He has worked as a union glazer for 35 years to provide for his family and spends his time doing the work that God gave him to do. He spends time teaching and counseling others based on the word of God, raising his three daughters in 2 |

David Salako is a friend who values the favor that God has shown to him.

I met David through a mutual friend as we are all musicians. David is 23, hails from Chicago and has many interests including soccer, all types of music, business concepts, pragmatic readings, traveling, and people.

David retorts that he demonstrates that he values God’s favor by waiting on the Lord. David is learning patience and is striving to pursue the greatness that God has placed on the inside. David also demonstrates the

…I discovered that all of the attributes that are esteemed by the people that responded to my survey are characteristics which are also cultivated and valued by this ministry.

How do you show appreciation or demonstrate the value that you place on or in this one thing?

The responses were varied. Just to name a few, people value their families and other concepts like love, purpose, marriage, favor, salvation, integrity, life, and peace. Moreover, I noticed that the ways that people demonstrate value are notably similar.

represents everything that the ministry teaches.

ers. He also feels that a successful marriage, three well rounded children who are respectful to others and who are living out their lives to their fullest potentials, and a family that loves and exemplifies these godly values speaks volumes in showing others the value that he places on having a godly family. In other words, Don demonstrates the value he places on family life by living his life as an example of what he most esteems. Don would probably suggest showing value to Singles Pleasing The Lord by living life as an example of a person who fully

value he places on God’s favor for his life to others in a manner very similar to the way Don shows value.

David talks about living and being a DOER of the word. He explains, “You don’t hear light; it doesn’t judge or proclaim itself. You simply turn on a light, and darkness disappears.”

David would probably also recommend living according to the principles that are being taught at Singles Pleasing The Lord in order to show that one values this ministry.

Another person, Pastor David Burrus, most values his calling or his purpose to empower others to live Kingdom lifestyles. David is a resident of Hewitt, Texas and has authored several books. He spends his time in ministry. David also shows that he values the purpose that God placed on his life by walking

Singles Pleasing the Lord Annual Newsletter

person to fulfill is the most gratifying experience that one could ever hope to have. In Myrna’s words, “nothing will be more enjoyable than the tasks that you were created to accomplish.” Oddly, Myrna also shows her appreciation for salvation in the same manner as the other people who responded. “[I] allow people to watch my life.” In other words, Myrna also shows that she values salvation by living her life as a living epistle. She states that she has had people to ask her why she is consistently happy and glowing. Ironically, it seems that one One of the other responses given to of the most consistent ways to show me struck me as unusually profound. that one values a thing is to fully embrace that thing and utilize it fully.

Darrell Davis, a fellow alumnus of In other words, as it pertains to the mine, talked about how he most values life itself. Through life, Darrell ministry of Singles Pleasing The Lord, responds, “we are given the opportu- Myrna would most likely fully live out her salvation demonstrating purity in nity to demonstrate our understanding, our purpose, our destiny, our love, marriage, working toward her purpose, and living out the other principles our hope, our faith, and the many taught in Singles Pleasing The Lord. other things that are incorporated in More to the point, as this audience it [life]….if we use the biblical examof readers perhaps most certainly ple of Jesus, it was life that demonstrated His power. The grave couldn’t values the ministry of Singles Pleasing to the Lord and already fully embraces hold him because he was filled with the ministry, I discovered something life.” In other words, Darrell values else strikingly peculiar while writing life as the vehicle by which every this. My original idea in writing this other opportunity, even salvation, article was to elicit different methods presents itself. Darrell might value the opportunity to share his life with that people can utilize to show that they value this ministry; however, I the ministry of Singles Pleasing discovered that all of the attributes The Lord, using the opportunity of that are esteemed by the people that life to develop and demonstrate the understanding, purpose, destiny, love, responded to my survey are characteristics which are also cultivated and hope, and faith that is being taught valued by this ministry. So if a person throughout the ministry. values destiny, salvation, purpose, marThe last response that I included came from Myrna Ryan, a member of riage, integrity, an abundant life, a life of peace, and any other good thing, the the church where I currently fellowministry of Single Pleasing The Lord ship. Myrna is in her mid-thirties, is is most likely a ministry that would be married, and enjoys Christian music valuable to that person. In a nutshell, and outdoor activities. Myrna most as singles living lives that are pleasing values her salvation. She explains to the Lord, I encourage us to continthat her life in Christ is amazing and ue to do everything we can do to fully Christ is introducing to her the work embrace and exemplify the values that that Christ chose for her to do. To God exhibits through the ministry of paraphrase Myrna, she emphatically Singles Pleasing The Lord. God bless. believes that the work God created a in his purpose. As David puts it, “I demonstrate my appreciation for this amazing gift by going to bed empty every single night. I do my very best to give every ounce of wisdom that I can to whomever I can on a daily basis.” Based on David’s responses, if I were to ask him how to show value to a ministry like Singles Pleasing The Lord, he might say that he would empty himself of the teachings taught by the ministry of Singles Pleasing The Lord. In other words, he would demonstrate these teachings to everyone he encountered daily.

continued

Moreover, nobody has ever died from abstaining from sex; however, many, many people have lost everything (including their lives) from having sex outside of God’s plan.

From where does the idea come, that in order for you to be loved you must be having sex and that if you can’t act on your physical urges then you must be lonely? I would like to reiterate that sex isn’t some disease that causes you to die if you don’t utilize it.

We have come to believe that “sex equates to love” or rather that in order to fully love someone you must be having sex with them. This type of error leads to the common thinking that singles who are not having sex must not be experiencing love at all.

Can you have love without sex? Of course you can! Moreover, sex is and should always be an expression of love.

What is love? Love, by definition, is self-sacrificing. As a single person, if you love your body in its current single state and you always think of

…as a single person, your sexual desires “rest quietly” when your love relationship with Jesus your Lord is developed with all intensity

it as a creation of God, and a temple of the Holy Spirit, then while you are single, loving yourself and respecting your own body means sacrificing the natural sexual urges that you feel as an act of worship.

Managing God-given sexual urges as a single person is never easy; hence, the “sacrifice”. You must see the sacrifice you make by abstaining from sexual sin as an act of “sacrifice,” “worship,” and “honor” to God. My prayer for you as single men and women is that you would learn to say yes to love by discovering and enjoying your love relationship with Christ.

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By Donna Rogers

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INGLE LADIES, ARE YOU God-centered or self-centered when it comes to men? Before you respond too quickly, listen to 2 Corinthians 13:5. It says, “Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith…”

It is important that we examine ourselves to see whether our hearts and mindsets are in alignment with the word of God. This is God’s will.

Whenever we are out of alignment with the will of God, we have become self-centered. Self-centered women are only focused on their needs and their desire for a man.

Though a woman’s desire for a man may not be wrong, how a woman responds to that desire demonstrates who truly is Lord over her life.

Matthew 6:33 tells us to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and then all the other things will be given to us as well.

Women who put God’s way of doing things above their own way of doing things prioritize the things of God over their personal agendas. In other words, a godly woman is not just concerned about her man but the well being of all men.

Women that are concerned about advancing God’s kingdom view men of God differently and see their value as leaders. Kingdom-minded women have the revelation of what the devil already knows. They know that it is necessary that mature men of God bring forth healing and restoration to families, youth, communities, government, nations and even the marketplace. The devil vehemently attacks our men in order to keep our land desolate and in ruins. Therefore, women who are kingdom-minded make an intentional choice no longer to use their emotions, tongues, and bodies to partner with the devil in 4 |

order to destroy our brothers. Instead, they use their power of influence in the throne room of God to fast and pray the will of God for all men.

God designed prayer as the vehicle for His word to be manifested on earth. In Acts 12, the Apostle Peter was imprisoned by King Herod to please the Jews who wanted to stop Peter from spreading the gospel.

Peter was guarded by four squads of soldiers with four men in each squad.

Nevertheless, Peter was freed from

The enemy has assigned squads of demonic soldiers, just like with Peter, to keep our brothers from advancing God’s kingdom. prison because the church prayed for him without ceasing. Here is an account of Acts 12: 5-7:

So Peter was kept in prison, but the church was earnestly praying to God for him. The night before Herod was to bring him to trial, Peter was sleeping between two soldiers, bound with two chains, and sentries stood guard at the entrance. Suddenly an angel of the Lord appeared and a light shone in the cell. He struck Peter on the side and woke him up. “Quick, get up!” he said, and the chains fell off Peter’s wrists. It was the consistent prayers of the church that released God’s angels to free Peter and broke every chain off of his wrist.

Many men of God today are imprisoned to lust, debt, anger, drugs, alcohol, religious mindsets, childhood

traumas, shame, unforgiveness, and the like. The enemy has assigned squads of demonic soldiers, just like with Peter, to keep our brothers from advancing God’s kingdom. However, just like the church in Acts 12, women of God from SPL fast and pray earnestly for these men. We are Praying Single Women Producing Powerful Single Men. We have confidence that the same God that answered the consistent prayers of the church in the book of Acts will answers ours.

Ladies, we need our men for more than just companionship. We need them to lead the generations and nations to righteousness. Therefore, it is imperative that we pray the word of God corporately and consistently over their lives in Jesus name.

Singles Pleasing the Lord Annual Newsletter

By Michelle McGee

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HAVE ALWAYS loved doing various types of community service. I first discovered my love for community service when I worked for Bank One and would see the email alerts come across for various volunteer opportunities. It would either be: painting a house, cleaning a house, mentoring a child thru Big Brothers and/or Big Sisters, serving food for the hungry, reading stories to sick children, and the list goes on. The experience I would have while serving someone less fortunate was of pure joy and fulfillment.

In all honesty, sometimes I didn’t always feel like going to volunteer once I signed up (whether it was due to bad weather or laziness); however, I wanted to be a woman of my word and commit to what I signed up to do. Once I was there, I was always glad that I would go. Volunteering my time for corporate sponsored events gave me an opportunity to help others, meet people of like minds, and mostly importantly volunteering gave me an opportunity to “get out of myself.”

As I began to volunteer in various Outreach projects, my desire for it grew. For example, during Christmas season in 1999, I had recently broken up with my boyfriend. It was my first “church boyfriend,” one who I thought I would eventually marry. It was not to be. I was hurt, angry, frustrated, embarrassed and lonely; however, I didn’t want to feel this way and I had to “get out of myself ’ and focus on something positive so that I could manage the holidays.

I volunteered at a homeless shelter on West 63rd Street in Englewood, not far from where I lived and went to high

school. As I served food, cleaned the kitchen, and talked to the residents, my woe-is-me attitude left for a while and was replaced with love, joy, peace and fulfillment. I loved bringing a smile to someone’s face; it brought me joy.

So now, let’s fast forward to 2010.

God had led me to attend Singles Pleasing the Lord’s Bible studies; I had already been attending for a couple of years. It was (and still is) truly a God-sent ministry in my life.

It impacted ALL areas of my life: sexual purity, financial stability, emotional purity, integrity in business and personal relationships, friendships, and physical health.

One Monday night in 2010, we didn’t have our regular Bible Class. There were two women doing presentations on their non-for-profits. They talked about how their non-for-profits were birthed out of purpose being discovered within them. The presentations blessed me so; I saw the hand of God all over their non-for-profits, and I was in tears.

After the presentations, we were told the Singles Pleasing the Lord Ministry (different from the Bible Study) was being birthed. My spirit leapt for joy as this definitely resonated with me.

A few weeks before the presentations, I was beginning to feel as if I needed more in my life, needed to be doing something more purposeful, needed to know what more God wanted me to do in my season of singleness. I knew it had to be more than just working a job, going and being active in church, socializing occasionally with good friends and family, and praying for a husband.

God heard my heart and responded to a prayer that I honestly had not yet prayed. Moreover, when the SPL

Outreach Ministry came about, I knew it was God’s plan for me to be involved. The cards came around inquiring whether or not we wanted to fill them out in order to find out more about SPL’s Outreach program. I was so excited and wanted to be involved even if it was just to be involved in their intercessory prayer efforts for the upcoming projects. Now I had always loved to give of myself and my time through various Outreach events in the name of a corporation and of my own initiative, but the opportunity to do it in Jesus’ name was what my spirit-man needed for true fulfillment.

To sum things up, Outreach thru Singles Pleasing the Lord (which is now called Savings People’s Lives) has given me fulfillment. It has given me the opportunity to “get out of myself,” to help raise funds for Tsunami victims, to partner with the group, By the Hand Club, in order to give book bags to less fortunate children, to go on my first Mission trip to Nigeria in 2012 in order to serve in a medical clinic, and to bring more awareness about sex trafficking in Chicagoland area and surrounding suburbs. This outreach has truly impacted my life. It helps me to keep the focus off of myself and place my focus on advancing God’s Kingdom, and in return, God has used me to impact other people’s lives, to impact single parents, to help impoverished children, to encourage women who may secretly be involved in sex trafficking (or to encourage women who know someone who is being sex trafficked) to get help. I’ve certainly learned that God can truly do greater things in us when we allow Him to use us to address the needs of others.

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HE YEAR 2013 WAS A year full of excitement about what the Lord would do in the lives of our SPL volunteers. God moved mightily! We had thirty-three volunteers who served on the Ministry of Helps team as: ushers, audio engineers, greeters, armor bearers, security, conference managers, outreach leaders and staff, grant writers, accountability leaders, out-of-town personnel, prayer warriors, advisory board members, worship leaders, and administrative staff. We recognize and appreciate each volunteer for their service and commitment.

Our volunteers:

Give of their time, talents, skills, gifts and abilities for the benefit of accomplishing the mission and vision of SPL.

Sacrifice for the benefit of seeing God’s kingdom advanced and God glorified.

Give of their resources to benefit others through sacrificial giving, love offerings, and financial partnership with SPL. 2013 Volunteer Recognition Awards:

Singles Pleasing the Lord is happy to recognize: Adrienne Booker as “Longest Volunteer;” Ketsia Colinet for “Outstanding Leadership;” & Ted Wallace as “Most Dedicated Volunteer.”

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oreover, in 2013, each Ministry of Helps team member stretched themselves across different areas in SPL in order to serve single adults from all across the United States. Our volunteers have grown in their ability to have undistracted, undivided devotion to God through their ministry assignments. Each has personally witnessed God’s faithfulness, power, and ability to perform miracles in the areas where they have served. They have also grown in their ability to love like Christ and serve others with genuine faithfulness, and for this we are grateful.

The benefits of serving as an SPL Volunteer include: free access to audio ministry on CD when you serve, a regular prayer covering from Pastors Julius & Debbie Adebayo, access to special training and ministry events for Ministry of Helps team members, accountability for living a lifestyle of sexual and emotional purity, and the opportunity to develop non-romantic friendships with other single adults for the purpose of advancing the kingdom of God. 6 |

Tamekia Swint, SPL Volunteer Coordinator

Are you wondering about the purpose for your life and season of singleness? The Ministry of Helps presents a unique opportunity for our volunteers. It gives singles an opportunity to discover their kingdom gifts, talents, and abilities. Moreover, as they serve, God is able to unfold to them all that they are able to do.

In other words, as He unfolds our gifts and talents, He can navigate us towards our purpose. God has given each of us a distinct calling and when our gifts lay dormant, we stifle God’s ability to move us toward our destiny and our call. Becoming a volunteer indicates that you are ready to serve and be used by God so that He can accomplish His will in your life.

God promises us an inheritance as we commit and serve Him by serving others. Colossians 3: 23-24 states “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.

You are serving the Lord Christ.”

Let us rejoice together as we serve SPL for the glory of our Lord!

If anyone is interested in volunteering at Singles Pleasing The Lord, please contact us at: info@singlespleasingthelord.com or call (630) 513-0038.

Singles Pleasing the Lord Annual Newsletter

Parenting With A Purpose “M AY HE GRANT YOU according to your heart’s desire and fulfill all your plans. We will shout in triumph at your salvation and victory, and in the name of our God, we will set up our banners.

May the Lord fulfill all your petitions. Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed; He will answer him from His holy heaven with the saving strength on his right hand.

Some trust in and boast of chariots and some of horses, but we will trust in and boast of the name of the Lord our God.” (Psalm 20:4-7). While I was in prayer about my oldest son, who was having a lot of problems at school in September of 2009, this

was the scripture to which God led me. I was on my knees: broken, distraught, and didn’t know what I was going to do. The school was calling home every day about his behavior, and my son was receiving C’s, D’s and F’s. Through my Journey of single parenting, I have learned not to underestimate the power of prayer.

I am the single Mom of two boys, ages 13 and 11. Once, I remember praying and asking God to remove the lady that my boy’s father was dating. She could not be in their lives.

I could not pinpoint exactly what it was about her, but I knew something was not right. Every day I would pray that God would remove her.

One day while in our apartment, I

was in one room and my boys were in another. They were only 5 and 7 at the time. I heard my youngest son tell my oldest son something that was very sexually inappropriate. My heart dropped to my feet. I didn’t know where in the world he had gotten this! I called them both out of the room immediately and after speaking with them for a period of time, they finally confessed that the daughters of this lady had been sexually inappropriate with them. Even as I write this, tears fill my eyes when I think about that day. There had been no intercourse, but there was definitely inappropriate touching. Words cannot describe how broken I was at the time that my boys had been exposed to this sexual perversion.

With the help of the Lord, I was able to pull myself together and call DCFS. After being examined by the physicians, my boys received a clean bill of health. They had no diseases and had undergone no physical assault. However, after DCFS investigated, they determined that these sexually inappropriate things were true, and that I had the right to keep my boys away from their father and this woman. I did just that.

The boy’s father took this very lightly and told me that I had gone too far by getting DCFS involved.

However, I knew I had done the right thing. He wanted to see his children but still wasn’t willing to break it off with the woman who could care less that this had happened. After months and months of prayer, God finally opened the eyes of my son’s father, and he cut it off with the woman for good. Now had I not been praying over my boys on a daily basis, God would have never exposed this matter for what it was, and my boys could still be going through this today! To this day, my youngest son

By Shantell Walker

had I not been praying

over my boys on a daily basis, God would have never exposed this

matter for what it was, and my boys could still be going through this today

stands up for holiness and takes a strong stance against sexual immorality, and he is only 11.

Moreover, if you want to know what happened to the son who was having problems in school, the same son that I spoke about earlier, he is now getting ready to graduate from 8th grade in June of 2014. He will enter high school in the fall, and he is now getting A’s and B’s. I could not be more proud!!! This journey has not been easy and there is still more to come.

Nevertheless, through prayer, God has let me know that although I may not be a perfect parent, I am purposeful parent.

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hese ladies were selected as the recipients of the 2014 Singles Pleasing The Lord Single Mom Lunch and Spa Package. They dined at Ditka’s for lunch and then received a manicure, pedicure, and Swedish massage at Mario Tricoci.

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Singles Pleasing the Lord Annual Newsletter

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Revisiting Becoming Marriage Material

S MANY OF YOU KNOW, SEVERAL YEARS AGO I wrote a book entitled Becoming Marriage Material. Moreover, as I pondered what this newsletter article should be about, I felt led to revisit the subject of becoming marriage material.

One of the things I have frequently observed as a director of a singles ministry for over 12 years now is the desire single men and women exhibit in regards to wanting a marriage. This desire ranges from: “I can take it or leave it,” to the other extreme, “if I don’t get married soon I think I will die.” Most single adults find themselves somewhere in the middle of that range with the mindset, I want to be married sooner than later, and I intend to do what it takes to make that desire become a manifested reality in my life.

Through personal experience and through observing single adults navigate victoriously through their season of singleness into experiencing successful marriages, the key to becoming marriage material is NOT to focus on getting married, but rather to focus on living each day of your life in the center of God’s will.

God’s will, according to the Word of God, encompasses all of God’s plan for your life -- including marriage. God’s will carries with it God’s knowledge of His plan and also His immutable character which includes a total commitment to your success.

God’s will includes God’s insight into the gigantic picture of your life and not just the marriage portion. He knows your personality, your temperament, your purpose, your strengths, and your weaknesses. God knows when your character will be ready for marriage, when your purpose will be ready for marriage, and He also knows the person that He has selected to complement the plan He has for your life.

By Debra Adebayo

interact with unpleasant people that develop your ability to forgive and demonstrate unconditional love. He sends you experiences that will be essential for you to have in order to have a successful marriage.

Many single adults believe the only reason why they are not married right now is because they cannot find the right person. I believe the number one reason most single adults are not married right now is because they, themselves, are not ready.

The Word of God says God has They are focusing on getting marworked this plan out to the ultimate ried and not on God’s will for their detail, even writing it in a book on a life. Remember marriage is about day by day basis: “Your eyes saw my more than companionship and sex. unformed substance, and in Your book Marriage is about God’s destiny for all the days [of my life] were written your life. Your marriage has a unique before ever they took shape, when as God-given destiny and it requires you yet there was none of them.” (Psalms to become marriage material. In or139:16) der to become marriage material you Focusing on God’s will for your life must become will-of-God focused. allows you to experience God’s prepTake a look at some couples where aration-process for marriage. When either the husband or the wife or God is preparing you for marriage, He in some cases both participated in doesn’t usually send you dates and inSingles Pleasing the Lord. They vitations to sign up for internet dating. focused on God’s will for their life.

God sends you to financial workshops While doing this, they discovered that allow you to get your financial one another and now they are sucportfolio together. He sends you tests cessfully married. that allow you to

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aving been in the Women’s Accountability group for approximately two years now, I can truly say that having a team of sisters, support, and leadership to walk successfully in life as a Kingdom-single in the area of purity is VITAL!! Three years ago, having accountability to other people in the area of purpose was not a big part of my life. I say “in the area of purpose” because I had a measure of accountability in my life, but this accountability was more-so based on whether or not I desired to open up and share information with others of my own volition, as opposed to me having to “report” or “check-in.”

Now with having implemented such behavior as a Purity Plan, checking in, private talks with my leader, and fellowship/conversation with my sisters, I am Godly pleased to say that I have practiced celibacy for 2 years as of January 2014. Moreover, I couldn’t be more thrilled about it!!

Accountabilities and responsibilities have really helped me to consider that the Body of Christ is fitly joined together as a body. We have an impact, not just on our own lives, but on the lives of each other. I mention this because as an only child who, while growing up and even into my young adult years (even after accepting Christ), experienced abandonment from parents, I developed a mentality of just looking out for myself. It was not until greater maturity in Christ that I began to discover the necessity of considering others and “doing my part” on behalf of a family, the Body of Christ. We have great need of each other that helps us to stay the course of righteousness and remain on target with our path. Christ is preparing for Himself a GLORIOUS church without spot or wrinkle, and we need 10 |

to continually endeavor to do everything and anything it takes to keep our lamps “trimmed and burning” and make His name famous in the Earth.

I am most grateful for the SPL Sexual and Emotional Purity Accountability Group because it has allowed me greater opportunity to give other trusted sisters along with God an invitation to inspect my life and walk with me in the navigation process of purity, holiness, and righteousness. It is most pivotal in a believer’s personal relationship with God that virtue can be drawn from the well of our lives. That we truly progressively become the living epistles (letters) read of all men; a life lived unto God on purpose. I am endeavoring in every way to live that life and am truly grateful for FINALLY ridding my life by faith and grace of the “little foxes” of generational sinful patterns and practices that kept me bound for so many years. I decree that I will never be bound again….I have my liberty and I AM FINALLY FREE!!! Thank you Jesus, God the Father, Holy Spirit, and SPL for your continual support of me living an upgraded life of sexual and emotional purity. I AM EXCITED FOR WHAT HE HAS DONE AND WHAT HE WILL CONTINUE TO DO!!

(Cicely Wilson)

SINGLES PLEASING THE LORD HELPED ME GET MY FINANCES TOGETHER!!! MY FINANCES ARE READY FOR MARRIAGE!!!!

I

didn’t know what I was in for when I signed up for the secondyear Financial Accountability class.

This class was quite different from

the first-year class. It tested how committed I was and am to my financial success: Would I really continue to account for expenses on a monthly basis, at the very least?

Would I create my spending plan for each month a month in advance?

Would I follow my spending plan?

Would I do the work and shop around for the best prices for insurance and other needs?

With prayer, accountability, and a desire to be a good steward over my finances, I can answer “yes” to these questions. I can also say that I accomplished my goals: I increased my giving to ministry efforts.

I resolved my issues with the IRS. I paid off $8,000 in credit card debt.

I have saved several hundred dollars towards my parents’ anniversary trip in 2014.

I have a savings that is nearly the equivalent of two months of salary.

I sought out and secured car insurance that is less than half the amount I was paying per month.

Also, with the one-on-one help from Tara, I’ve learned to plan to wisely use every third check that I received in a month. She has also taught me to be serious about requesting reimbursements due me from my employer; every penny counts! These reimbursements helped me to reach my financial goals.

Achieving the goals I set at the beginning of this class was not easy; I had to say “no” to many things like buying clothes, shoes, jewelry and all the fashions in which I wanted to indulge; I’ve been doing my hair for two years so that I can accomplish continued on page 12

Singles Pleasing the Lord Annual Newsletter

Godly Women Choose to Be Accountable The song “Grown Woman” is HE HOOK FROM Beyoncé’s song described by some as empowering.

“Grown Woman” is: Moreover, there was a time in my life when I would have been chanting, “I’m a grown woman, I can do whatI’m a grown woman, ever I want” when asked, for example:

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I can do whatever I want, I’m a grown woman,

Should you be having sex outside of marriage?

I can be bad if I want,

When do you plan to forgive?

I can do whatever I want, I can do wrong if I want, I can live fast if I want,

I can go slow all night long, I’m a grown woman,

I can do whatever I want.

My Girls Are My: Prayer Partners Accountability Group Support System Friends

Why are you letting your boyfriend spend the night?

How empowered I felt the moment I silenced anyone calling into question my decision to have sex outside of marriage, allow my boyfriend to spend the night, or harbor unforgiveness in my heart. Yes, in the flesh I was growing more powerful while, at the same time, becoming spiritually weak. Every time I declared that I was grown, I was showing how proud I had become, as well as asserting my self-dependence as opposed to God-dependence.

However, as the consequences of my sin began to manifest in my life, after years of living in blatant disobedience to God’s standards, I cried out to God in repentance, received His forgiveness, and made a commitment to live sexually pure until marriage.

Nevertheless, this was a commitment I discovered that I could not walk out without making myself accountable to other like-minded sisters in Christ.

Webster defines accountable as required to explain actions or decisions to someone. Yes, accountable: the Grown Woman had decided that she would explain her actions to others.

As a result, 17 1/2 years later, I am sexually pure and free of unforgiveness to the Glory of God. A decision to participate in an

By Kena Noland accountability group does not come easy. In fact it requires that we first humble ourselves by acknowledging our sinfulness and dependence on God. The Bible says in James 4:6 God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. Proud people, through an act of their will, resist the truth of God. However, humility positions us to receive the grace of God. Now that is empowering.

Yes, in the flesh I was growing more powerful while, at the same time, becoming spiritually weak In 2009 SPL launched the Women’s Sexual and Emotional Purity Accountability Group. Our definition of accountability is the process of holding single women to God’s standard of sexual and emotional purity. This is a process requiring transparency, honesty, and integrity from all participants. As women openly share some of the most intimate details of their lives, the leader and other participants lovingly hold them accountable to God’s standards.

Through their submission to the process, numerous women have been delivered from sexual immorality and/or healed of emotional trauma.

The results of these actions are spiritual growth, increased intimacy with God, and purposeful living. So rather than declaring, I’m a grown woman,” declare “I’m an accountable woman.”

Singles Pleasing the Lord Annual Newsletter |11

Empowering Single Men of God

my financial goals; I also did not take part in travel vacations and the like. Moreover, I have had to remind myself, more times than I can count, how these so-called sacrifices would benefit me and my future family in the long-term. In fact, I began to realize that I could not mentally, emotionally, and most of all spiritually afford to keep those things the world thinks I should have.

Moreover, I’ve realized that this is the time that God has designated for me to get my finances in order. I can see this as God has given me an opportunity to save by opening my parents’ hearts and allowing me to live with them. Little did I know that, at the beginning of this class, I would be in a courtship and on the brink of planning a wedding. Neither did I realize that soon after the close of the class, I would be engaged (as of 12.25.2013). I am also proud to say that because of the tools and wisdom I’ve gained from the Financial Accountability course, I will have saved my half of the projected wedding budget by 12.27.2013. To God be the glory!

Also, I’ve learned firsthand that when my future husband and I get too close, my whole life, including my finances, seem to be negatively impacted. We have had to be very intentional about how we communicate with each other, verbally and physically, in an effort to operate in purity and be at peace with every aspect of our lives.

I am extremely grateful for the Financial Accountability class series.

This class has affected me beyond my finances and impacted my life.

Thank you, Sister Debbie and Pastor Julius, for being obedient to God and having a heart to see me and other singles live Godly-successful lives.

Thank you, Tara and Adrienne, for your passion to see people in good 12 |

By Zachary Childress

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HEN I FIRST CAME to SPL, I didn’t’ expect the ministry to have the impact that it has had on me. Since I started attending the ministry last year, I have noticed that my life has been heading in a much better direction.

financial health and for holding me accountable. I look forward to continuing to implement the tools I’ve learned in Financial Accountability.

The sacrifices I’ve made have led me to paying off debt and preparing for the journey of marriage.

Later in the year, I joined the ministry of helps as a volunteer and became a part of the men’s accountability group. This opportunity has become a blessing in my life because I needed some direction in the area of sexual purity and in having a personal relationship with God. These were areas in my life in which I wanted to work

(Samantha Robinson)

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he purpose clinic was such a blessing to my life. It confirmed within my spirit the purpose God has for me. Due to a spirit of rejection, I have allowed fear and the fear of rejection to overcome my life and potentially strangle the purpose God has for me. I’ve realized that the fear of rejection has cause me to hold back. In other words, I have not given one hundred percent of my efforts to anything in my life. I’ve somehow survived or semi-flourished in this mind set. Where would I be if I had given one hundred percent?

I’ve graduated from college, mildly flourished in my career, given of myself half-heartedly, and somehow I still have meaningful relationships.

I can no longer allow fear to keep me in bondage. The Purpose Clinic has opened my mind to new possibilities.

L. Boyd

and ultimately improve, but I didn’t know how to actually be successful at either one. I also didn’t understand how important purity was in becoming a better man in Christ and living a life that is pleasing to God.

As a result of joining the men’s accountability group, I’ve grown stronger spiritually and have met truly remarkable men that have made an impact on my spiritual growth. I look forward to the progression of the men’s group going moving forward and hope that other men who are seeking a place of fellowship and camaraderie can find a home with SPL.

Singles Pleasing the Lord Annual Newsletter