SURRENDER Deserving? Not me. That’s what I believed. This belief caused me to work hard for things that I shouldn’t have needed to and to be too lax in areas that needed my undivided attention. Love, acceptance and approval from others required hard work. Self-love, self-acceptance, and self-approval needed my undivided attention. Self-sabotage coupled with an outright refusal to believe that I could have joy without a struggle were hefty consequences of this belief. Why is my life such a struggle? This was the burning question that I needed the answer to. I’d been praying for the answer. Sometimes, I’d screamed at God because I didn’t think He was answering fast enough. On one of my many late night “head clearing” drives, I received the answer. Surrender. Now, in that moment, I didn’t know how to process that answer, but I knew it was God. His voice was calming, yet stern. Certain. This had been the voice I’d heard so many times before but, ignored because I was so busy working hard. He speaks to me in a simple language…one I understand. It’d be dishonest of me to pretend as if resistance to surrender didn’t crop up. I’d been conditioned to believe that SURRENDER = WEAKNESS. FIGHT. Fight for everything; that’s the only way I’d earn anything. What about times when I’d received blessings simply because God approved them? I wouldn’t allow myself to fully receive them without expecting a catastrophic event to occur causing me to lose every blessing that I’d received. How could I surrender when doom was lurking around every corner?! How could I surrender when I needed to stay on-guard at all times?! I don’t know about you but, my mind repeated the same limiting stories so often and for so long that I adopted the stories as truths; these were just a few of my stories that made surrender seem impossible: “What’s the point in trying, I’ll fail in time.” “I don’t finish anything that I start.” “I should be completely healed by now…what’s wrong with me?!” “Why can’t I be like everyone else?” “I’ll never be good enough to meet ‘their’ expectations.” “If I were smarter, I’d have figured this out by now.” Pushing past the point that you’d normally quit. This is how surrender begins to happen. How? I’m so glad you asked! • Faith. You have survived 100% of your worst days.
26 | rallyupmagazine.com | Winter Issue 2019
By: Lex Morgan
Those days when you’ve felt too hopeless, tired and helpless to stand, walk, run, and/or crawl, God carried you. Believe that if He did it before, He will do it again. God’s records of honoring His promises and finishing what He starts are flawless. Your journey is not perfect; it doesn’t need to be…keep going. • Your Corner. Ask yourself, “Who is in my corner and how do they contribute to my healing?” Based on your answers, adjustments may be necessary. You own the power to assess and re-assess your corner. Your corner loves, supports, guides and honors you. Your corner offers wise counsel. Your corner holds space for you as you experience your emotions without judging you. Your corner holds you accountable and reassures you that you will make it. • Courage. Faith and your corner encourage your courage. Dismantling limiting stories like those I’ve shared is scary. Scary because regardless of how unhealthy the thoughts are, they are familiar and “safe”. We know how to operate with the thoughts; often, we surrender to them. We unpack and live in the stories and neglect the EXTRODINARY vessels that we really are. Courage is where faith and your corner are critical. • Learn to Love Pieces of Yourself Until Loving the Full You Is Your Reality. This takes time and practice (like a baby learning to walk). At first, you will attempt to stand and fall. You will take a few steps and stumble. Over time, your confidence strengthens and so does your willingness to surrender. • How? Be gentle and patient with yourself. Everything has a beginning. Identify one thing that you love (or like) about yourself. How will you nurture that part of yourself? After all, we take care of people and things that we love (or like), right? You are no exception. You are the priority. Identify the next part of you and repeat this practice. Love is a side-effect of caring for yourself consistently over time. These tools are the framework for a safe & healthy healing environment. When we are safe, we learn to trust; we can relinquish control and surrender. Surrender opens us to the essence of who we really are. Surrender is freedom. Freedom is knowing that we own the power to shift our lives & rewrite our stories. We own the power to release what doesn’t honor us. Surrender is power.
