HAPPY LIVING

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PLAIN SAILING OF MY LIFE A Personal Creation By Dr Ram Lakhan Prasad 3

PREFACE Our life has been pleasant because we have planned it with the blessings of the Lord and taken care to ensure that we follow the rules of humanity.

When I was asked to present my views for this publication of my husband I had no hesitation because his thoughts and ideas are shared by me. We do not hide anything from each other and that is the prime reason for our good and healthy living.

We are happy because we have always wanted to be who we were and not what others wanted us to be. If others did not like the way we conducted ourselves then we let them be so because happiness was our choice and our living was not about pleasing everybody. We have learnt to forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because we deserve to attain peace in our life. We begin each day with optimism and end each day with forgiveness. Therefore happiness in our life is foremost and it begins and ends within our heart. We have always wanted to live our life without stress and worries. We did not need to be rich and famous but just wanted to be happy and enjoy life. This is what we are doing together.

We have lived content with small means to seek elegance rather than luxury and tried to refine our living rather than fashion, to be worthy not respectable, wealthy not rich, to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly and to listen to the stars and birds, to babes and sages with open heart and to bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasionally and never hurry. This is how we have developed our symphony and I am proud that my husband Dr. Ram Lakhan Prasad has presented another of his creations for the readers to enjoy and get some taste of his plain sailing.

I congratulate him for giving us over sixty of his publications to read and share his ideas and messages. I have enjoyed reading all his publications and I am sure other readers will do the same.

Let us all keep honouring God with our simple living to stay in peace, keep trusting His timing and I am sure God will open all doors that no one can ever shut. Remember that every five minutes spent in silence will go a long way to nurture and revive our spirit and soul.

Ganga N Prasad

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INTRODUCTION My life began on the farm of our ancestors who were dedicated to raising me as the eldest child of my parents who lived in the extended family and looked after my childhood development in the best possible way despite the early days of difficulties because of the onslaught of World War II. I was given all the needed freedom, love and care during my toddler days of informal education among the members of the extended family, village peers and the community at large but as I entered the formal period of my indoctrination, the Sabeto Primary School, its teachers, pupils and even the ground staff became part of my learning there that I not only enjoyed a lot but developed myself with a firm foundation for my future learning.

After seven years of thorough learning, I succeeded in passing my primary school leaving certificate to gain entrance to Natabua Secondary School where I was churned well by the teachers, students and other colleagues for four good years. Having succeeded in all my internal and external examinations I was selected to be trained as a teacher at the Teachers’ Training College and then was sent out to serve the community. My four years of bachelor days as a teacher were brilliantly spent in a few schools in Vanualevu the second larger island of Fiji. The kinds of knowledge and learning I acquired from the community, my friends and colleagues were my perfect development for the future.

However, family life had to be established so I came back to join my parents and got married while still serving the communities in Nadi, Navua, Suva, Nasinu and Nausori areas. Whilst serving the people I had my family to serve as well where I had four loving children, two boys and two girls whose education and personal development were my higest priority. Consequently, they all are well established in their respective work and family life with even better opportunities than I would have ever received during my living. This is one my greatest prides and even during my old age I am celebrating and rejoicing all my contributions to my family. I was fortunate to receive all that I needed and complete contentment was graciously bestowed on my life by the Lord Almighty. I ensured that my faith, belief and hope in humanity was always intact when I regarded my home sweet home as my temple and my heart and my heart and soul as a peaceful environment.

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I was often told a few things of importance in life by my ancestors. Firstly, that a good life was when we smiled often, dreamt big, laughed a lot and tried to realize how blessed we were for whatever we had. Secondly, that our life was like riding a bicycle and if we wanted to keep our balance, it was necessary that we kept on moving. Thirdly, they told me that however bad the life may seem to me but there would always be many things you could still do well and succeed at because while there was life there was always hope.

Then as I was a determined reader I gathered a lot of good and wise aspects of life from my readings both nat school and at work.

Consequently, my mission in life gradually was not merely to survive but to thrive and to do so with greater passion, a lot of compassion, with some humour but always in my own style. However, I learnt gradually that to truly life a worthy life I musy be prepared and willing to take some risks, to be nothing in order to find a lot of good things in life and above all remember always to leap before I looked around for my space to exist well in life. Of course, I knew that my life was short and so there was no time to leave important work undone and important words unsaid.

Therefore, it became abundantly clear to me to complete all work and keep saying what I though was right and proper for me. I then slowing led myself on the route of an amateur writer. It has never been the years in my life but my prolific life in the years that I have lived happily that has been important for me and counted well for me. I understood that our life does not always offer a second chance and often it was now or never. So I went out in full force to take opportunities of all the chances that knocked at the door of my life.

As I was growing up I was determined to enjoy all the little things in my life because I knew that one day when I looked back I would definitely realize that they were big things for me. I did little things in a big way and felt happy about them. The way I saw things in life was that if I wanted to enjoy the sight of the rainbaw, I had to learn to put up with the rain. Thus, this life of mine kept moving in the right direction and it has remained the greatest journey I have made. However, there were certain times in my life when I had to let things go in order to make my plain sailing be smooth enough and beneficial for me.

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THE PLACE I WAS BORN I remember, I remember, the place I was born The tiny village with fields of maize and corn The sugarcane crops so green and mighty high The sun shining brightly from the clear sky My childhood was spent here with young and old As if I was in heaven feeling neither hot nor cold I remember, I remember the shallow stream Full of clear running water that threw some steam The fish and the eels, the prawns and the crows The flowers and the green grass for all my cows The horses and the oxen roaming the flat fields The goats and chickens under the shady shields I remember, I remember the trees and the shrubs Where I used to swing and often catch some grubs Swimming in the stream was a pleasure for me Riding the horses was the greatest hobby for me My childhood was enriched here with meanings My life has many memories of the colder evenings I know I am now far away from that tiny village I still get the pleasure when I return to my village I remember, I remember the village I was born Botini is the place where I saw the first morn The village priest was called to write my horoscope My life will roll to 80 and the rest was Lord’s hope The predicted time has passed but I wish to live forever I want that village life again but not to be an adult ever The ignorance of childhood and the village life was bliss The process of growing up can’t be reversed or to miss But it has been a life full of fun, freedom, festivity and joy I thank God and all who cared for me when I was a boy.

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MY PLAIN SAILING IN THIS SHORT LIFE

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The Beginning Every morning when I wake up I look outside my window to glance at the sky.

While people see the sky and imagine a lot of things I look at the sky and create my own vision and my own colours. Somedays the sky is white for me but on other days I choose my own colours and enjoy creating images to suit my imagination.

Similarly, after my breakfast when I move on to my yard I search for the best view to look up, look down, look sideways and then close my eyes to appreciate whatever I had seen. I do all these to ensure that I am sailing well in my short but exiting life.

I have been living this short but interesting life in this world and loved every moment of my existence because I constantly looked back to review my progress and development, viewed the side paths to adjust the activities and looked to the future with added hope and faith in my efforts. Thus I did not fail to take full advantage of all the opportunities that knocked at my door. The ultimate result of all these innovative moves was that I met success as I envisaged and even if I met any failures I could easily overcome them with my inherent perseverance, tenacity and endurance. There was no room for any reluctance, drawbacks and despondencies. My life turned out to be nothing but plain sailing. What I enjoyed most were the companies that I kept to enrich my knowledge and experiences.

One of the best habits that I developed in the course of my moving ahead was my love for reading a variety of good and worthy books in search of excellence. This hobby made me conduct intelligent discussion with knowledgeable personalities that I kept meeting in my daily living, work life and home front. Then the indulgence in a variety of scriptures and traditional portfolios provided me with golden opportunities to look at the ethics of things that existed around me so that I could evaluate the truth from fiction and follow the right paths in life.

Consequently I managed to decide whatever came to me as the best course of action for me to follow and practice. I believed in the powers of the Supreme Being and my own way of living this life that I loved but stayed away from the religious hypocrisy, sectarianisms, pretense and blind following and beliefs of religion. I was more a human being than associate myself with any religious group.

However, I did not criticize any religion and kept myself abreast with almost all the scriptures such as the Geeta, Ramayan, Quran, Bible and the Buddha scriptures.

This does not mean that I was a unique being but I was careful not to be caught in the false and disruptive beliefs of people in living a useful life. Consequently, I had a very strong belief in my prayers and regarded my home sweet home as my greatest temple for peaceful existence and harmonious interactions with my family, friends and relatives.

While moving ahead for better results and to lead a life free from retardation I had to discard a few human faults such as fear, lethargy and procrastination. I knew 9

and believed that unfortunately, we were not always living in paradise; hence a positive attitude was necessary. I found out that fear could even be helpful when it came to some dangerous situations, inciting our response to flee and protect our bodies; however, I found out that our fear can negatively impact our life if left unchecked and that all fears were not created equal. So I developed a few strategies and tips for overcoming my fears. One thing I was quite confident about when it came down to fear and that was that I never ever fed my fears and any insecurities because I knew and understood that they will consume me.

1) I had to become aware of my fears and before I could even consider overcoming my fears, I had to first realize that these fears were wreaking havoc in my life.

2) I managed to quickly identify some of my drastic fears.

3) I had to learn to live in the present.

4) I practiced gratitude.

5) I started talking about it.

6) I got some therapy.

7) I started reading about fear.

8) Then I started taking some appropriate actions.

On the other hand we have all had those days when we have felt lethargic and not really felt like doing anything. I knew that during those days the easiest thing to do was nothing and let the world go by. This can be an issue, however, when the desire to succumb and do nothing coincides with a lot of pressing obligations things gradually create a lot of problems for us so I decided to take appropriate action. The ability to overcome my lethargy was a skill that I learnt the hard way but once applied I began to feel motivated and ready to get things done.

I gradually overcame my lethargy by applying these tips: I began to think about the objective rather than the process. The thought of having a clean house or a completed business report feels good. The idea of cleaning or crunching numbers does not. If I ever found myself dragging my feet, I began to concentrate on the end result.

Taking the first step for me was the most challenging part. It was often easy to continue if I could just get started. Setting a small goal make it easier to get up off the sofa or out of the chair.

I began to list the advantages of getting things done now and began to think about the positive aspects of getting things done right now. I did not worry about it tomorrow because I knew that it would be one less thing to weigh on my mind. I convinced myself that the time for action was right now.

I then began to list the disadvantages of waiting to complete my tasks. One reason I was able to convince myself that lethargy was okay was the belief that a task can wait. I constantly reminded myself of the challenges that could be created by putting things off. I made a big list of everything that could go wrong if I did not overcome my lethargy and get started.

I kept on reminding myself of the challenges I faced by being lethargic in the past. I knew that I had put things off for too long and then suffered for it. I also reminded 10

myself of the real consequences I had faced in the past. I then remembered that pain and used it to overcome my lethargy and inspire myself.

I then went on to set exciting goals for myself. If felt lethargic on a regular basis, maybe my goals were not inspiring enough. One way of knowing I had set an effective goal was the excitement I was feeling when I thought about achieving it.

I began to break my tasks into small, manageable chunks because I found that big tasks were intimidating and overwhelming. By making several small tasks, it was much easier psychologically to get busy.

I never stopped going to the gym. When I was struggling to take action, sometimes a little physical activity was the answer. I went for a walk or did some weight. Any activity that got my heart pumping was effective in helping to overcome my lethargy and to get me started on a task that I was putting off. I began to get better organized. It was common for me to feel less than motivated when my surroundings were cluttered. So I took a few minutes to make my surroundings a little tidier. All these then went on to kick-start me to leap into proactive actions in my life.

One of the favourite things for me was to manage my self-talk. I kept telling myself how great it would be to get a lot of things done and off my plate. I usually stood up straight, took a deep breath, and kept positive thoughts in my mind. Thus I began to feel the energy and motivation I needed to overcome my lethargy and forge ahead. Of course, taking a needed nap was important because it could have been possible that I was tired. Lethargy and genuine fatigue go hand-in-hand. If I was tired, getting a little sleep was definitely beneficial.

Then enjoying a relaxing Sunday was certainly pleasurable. I understood that feeling lethargic on occasion was normal, but that did not mean it was always acceptable. There were times when not taking steps to overcome my lethargy could create real challenges. Overcoming the urge to do nothing was a useful life skill that provided meaningful benefits to me.

Related to these above human failings was my habit of procrastinating things so I had to find ways to overcome procrastination. The first thing was for me to recognize procrastination when it happened. The first step to making a change was recognizing that a positive change was needed. I began to start small if I was procrastinating on any of my tasks because I knew that if I wanted immediate result then it could feel like I was confronting a high mountain.

I began to make a list of what will happen if I procrastinated. My instinct told me that procrastinating would not protect me from moving forward in life as I wished.

When my list was complete I then took appropriate actions to ensure that I avoided procrastination. I began working even harder in silence and let my successes be my noise because I had come to learn and realize that if anything was important to me in my life then I will certainly find a way do them the way I needed to and had to. There was no other way to keep moving with the speed and vigour that my life needed.

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MOVING WITH THE TIME While moving along the paths of my life I was learning many things that gave me the right inspiration and motivation to continue my mobility for reasonably comfortable living. Some of the things that I learnt during my short life were a real treasure for me to construct my future with determination.

The best classroom for me was at the feet of my ancestors.

Being kind has been more important to me than being right.

All that I needed in this life was a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

That simple walk around the farm with my parents has done wonders for me.

Money is important but it cannot buy all human values.

All my small daily happenings made my life so spectacular.

In every person there is one corner where we want to be appreciated and loved.

God Almighty did not do everything in one day so what makes me think I can?

To ignore the facts does not change the facts.

To grow as a good person was to surround myself with people smarter than I was.

That love, compassion, caring and understanding, not time alone, heal all wounds.

That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

That our life is tough, but we have to be tougher.

Our opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones we miss.

That when we harbor bitterness, all our happiness will dock elsewhere.

Keep our words both soft and tender because tomorrow we may have to eat them.

That our genuine smile is an inexpensive way to improve our looks.

That I cannot always choose how I feel but I can choose what I can do about it.

That we want to live on top of the mountain but all the happiness and growth occurs while we are climbing it.

That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.

That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

That we should be glad God does not give us everything we ask for.

That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

When we show our loved ones how much we care for them then life will become easier.

That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

Always remember that when we are in love, it shows.

That just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.

That I wish I could have told my parents that I loved them one more time before they passed away.

That you should never say "no" to a gift from your child.

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Many of these carefully crafted learnings and useful knowledge made me happy and determined to lead a good family life and develop a variety of attitudes to have faithful friends, keep smiling, singing and enjoying life as I wanted it to become.

It naturally came to me while growing up that the essence of ascending and descending processes of knowledge were the greatest asset I could gather and store. I understood that there are two ways of acquiring knowledge. The first is the ascending process, in which we utilize our senses, mind, and intellect to explore, discover, and conclude about the nature of the truth. The second is the descending process, where we simply receive the knowledge from a proper source. The ascending process of gaining knowledge is inherently prone to defects. Since our senses, mind, and intellect are made from the material energy, they are imperfect and limited. As a result, we can never be completely sure about the accuracy and reliability of the knowledge we gain through them.

As the pursuit of material science is based upon the ascending process, even the most acclaimed and undisputed scientific theories of the past are overthrown and superseded by newer ones. For example, the Greek concept of matter as consisting of indivisible atoms was invalidated by Rutherford when he demonstrated that atoms consist of electrons, protons, neutrons, and vast regions of empty space. Rutherford’s theory was overthrown by the Quantum theory, which stated that electrons and protons are not solid particles, but vibrating patterns of energy with a dual particle wave nature. This makes us wonder whether what we believe to be true today will also be proven utterly incorrect after a few centuries.

The other process of knowledge, the descending process, on the other hand, is completely devoid of such defects. When we receive knowledge from a perfect source, we can be assured that it is flawless. For example, if we wish to know who our father is, we do not conduct experiments. We simply ask our mother, as she is the authority on this piece of information. Likewise in spiritual matters too, the descending process immediately gives us access to vast reservoirs of knowledge, which would have taken ages of self-effort to unveil. The only criterion here is that the source from which we receive the knowledge must be infallible and trustworthy. The Vedas are one such source of knowledge.

The Vedas are not the name of any book. They refer to the eternal knowledge of God, which He manifested when He created the world. In this cycle of creation, He first revealed them in the heart of the first-born Brahma. These Vedas were passed on for thousands of years by oral tradition, from master to disciple, and hence another name for them is śhruti (knowledge received by hearing). They are also called apauruṣheya (not created by any human). For this reason, in Indian philosophy the Vedas are considered the ultimate authority for validating any spiritual principle. The validity of any spiritual tenet, whether in the context of the past, present, or future, must be established on the basis of the Vedas. To elaborate their meaning, many more scriptures have been written. These 13

scriptures do not deviate from the authority of the Vedas. Rather, they attempt to expand and explain the knowledge contained in them. Together, all these are termed “Vedic scriptures.”

The Vedic scriptures are vast, but three of them have traditionally been called the Prasthān Trayī (three points of commencement for understanding Vedic thought).

These are the Upanishads, the Brahma Sutras, and the Bhagavad Gita.

The Upanishads are the section of the Vedas that deal with philosophical knowledge and are considered the cream of the Vedas. On reading them, the German philosopher, Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860) said, “There is no philosophy in the world as elevating as that of the Upanishads. It has been the solace of my life and it shall be the solace of my death.” Paul Deussen (1845-1919), another German philosopher, expressed himself thus: “Eternal philosophical truth has seldom found a more striking and decisive expression than in the emancipating knowledge of the philosophy of the Upanishads.” However, for a lay person the Upanishads are difficult to fathom.

The Brahma Sutras is a synopsis of the Upanishads. It was written by Ved Vyas to provide the philosophical conclusion of Vedic knowledge. Thus, it is also called “Vedant,” meaning “the culmination of Vedic thought.” Like the Upanishads, the Brahma Sutras is also hard to comprehend and its conciseness often leads to ambiguity and subjective interpretation.

The Bhagavad Gita is more accessible than the above two scriptures. It provides a comprehensive and easy-to-understand summary of the Vedic philosophy.

Bhagavad means “of God” and Gita means “song.” Hence, the Bhagavad Gita literally means “Song of God.” It is a dialogue that took place between the Supreme Lord Shree Krishna and His devotee Arjun, on the verge of the Mahabharat war.

In the course of history, hundreds of theories in economics, psychology, sociology, and philosophy were first propounded and then discarded as inaccurate or incomplete. These were all the products of ascending knowledge and hence imperfect and subject to error. If the Bhagavad Gita were also the creation of a mortal and finite intellect, with the passage of fifty centuries, it would have become outdated and irrelevant. However, the perennial wisdom of the Gita has continued to inspire famous thinkers even in modern times, such as Mahatma Gandhi, Robert Oppenheimer, Carl Jung, Herman Hesse and Aldous Huxley, to name just a few, thus indicating its divine origin. These innovative and wise pieces of knowledge provided me greater determination to move ahead with added vigour and confidence in life.

It was not that I did not look back but whenever I did that I did that to learnt from my past to further develop my present and make my future even more productive and relevant to my needs and wants. Good knowledge must get into us and that is the reason why we are all broken in multipole places so that light and knowledge can get into us easily.

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DETERMINATION WAS ALWAYS DIVINE FOR ME I used to believe that talent and a winning attitude were all I needed in order to succeed in my life endeavours but then I gathered that a winning attitude meant having determination which I needed to move on in life. I wanted to remain an ordinary person with extraordinary determination. When I understood that determination was an important factor in the overall success or failure of my life I began gathering extra efforts to organise my life style.

Unfortunately, determination was not something that came easily to me so I had to get in the mood to be determined. To be truly determined, I had to first be passionate about what I was doing. Passion, however, I knew was only the first step towards resolution and determination. I had to have a clear goal in mind and be willing to do anything to achieve my goals.

I was told that a person under the influence of determination was comparable to a train. The train will not change its direction, as it cannot, and no matter what, the train will continue along the tracks until it either reached its destination or was stopped by the conductor. My plan after high school was to go to college and then move into the professional world. Going to college right after high school had always been in my mindset and there was no way my determination would let that change. So I became the metaphorical train because my destination was set and there was no chance or need for me to adjust my direction. I was not going to stray from my goal because it would mean wrecking myself and all those involved in my endeavours. I knew that there will be mountains in front of me and people I may have to run over to reach my goal but when my mind was set, I was determined that I will not waver.

I believed that with my determination I was destined to have whatever I desired in life because I knew that determination had put people on the moon, turned the poor to rich and made people happy. I believed that when mastered this tool would decimates any opponent I may face. I would act like a heated blade, slicing through warm butter. It was easy and all I had to do was to have trust in myself and proceed to find that determination would allow me to accomplish many of the most tedious tasks ever.

The personal confidence that I was able to build within me was very important for my success in life. That confidence came only from my own will power and determination. I believed that if I had these two qualities that will be enough for me to do whatever I decided as my goal in life. As a student I studied well and as a professional I displayed confidence in my work but as a family man I was a peak performer. My will power and determination gave me the necessary strength to succeed in life and profession. Not only that but I also felt confident of overcoming 15

the hurdles that I sometimes faced. I knew that if I possessed the necessary will power then nothing will be impossible for me to achieve and I will emerge stronger and better than before. The level of will power and determination that I carried inside me made me transform me into a go-getter. The result was that I kept setting my goals and succeeded in achieving them, surpassing all the hurdles that came in my way. I knew and believed that this would be a win situation for me. My will power and determination decided how successful I was in my life. Without them, success would have been a distant dream, no matter how hard I would have tried.

It gradually became obvious that the more determined I was the more confidently I acted in my own abilities. My will power was like a booster dose for my selfconfidence and it helped me achieve success to a wonderful level. My will power, determination and self-confidence always went hand in hand. Therefore, my level of self-confidence depended on how much will power I had and how determined I was towards my final goals. Everyone is born with a certain degree of will power that they display in dealing with their everyday hurdles. How much will power do they have, decides how determined they would be dealing with the hurdles. I had to remember that my will power and determination could not be temporary; they had to be an integral part of my psychic to be useful in any way. I knew that I could not be determined for half of the time and be nervous for the other half. So I made sure that my will power remained the same every time. For that I had to keep myself motivated to wake up every morning, reminding myself of my goals and how necessary it was for me to achieve them. Thus my motivation began to reflect as my determination to achieve more things in life.

Then as I reached my old age I started aging graciously when my wife Ganga and I began enjoying this short life on earth. Together we partied, together we laughed, together we ate and drank and together we moved forward so happily that we never found time to be sad, sorrowful and even cry. We did not have any secrets to keep from each other nor did we practice any lie because we became the best friends and would remain so until we die. So for us happy wife and husband as Ganga and Ram meant happy life.

My daily life for so many years demanded small doses of determination at every twist and turn. For every decision I made at home, at work and in life there was always an option that seemed easier, that never took me away from my goals.

Procrastination I came to know was the thief of my time so I tried to maintain my resoluteness and persistence in all my activities. My definition of determination was not always beating a giant with a single strike but it was the day to day focus to do the tough things first and foremost.

I gathered the idea of determination from those who have learned what it was the hard way and who had harnessed its strength to achieve their own definition of success. They were no other than my ancestors who told me that our problems are only opportunities in work clothes and when the will is ready the feet are light. So it is easier to act yourself into a new way of feeling rather than feel your way into a 16

new way of acting. I was also told that tomorrow is the only day in the year that appeals to a lazy man. Therefore the time was right for me to think little goals and expect little achievements. Think big goals and win big success.

Gradually I found out that the individual who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing that woke me up was the knowledge that a damaged boat never gets far from shore. Then I developed a vow that went a long way in my life to fix and adjust a lot of things for me and unalterable determination rose high within me to do many useful things because when such a determination is related to something noble within can certainly uplift a person who makes his resolve shine brighter. I began to foresee many obstacles as those frightful things that I could see whenever I took my eyes off my goals.

I gradually found out that there were no secrets to success because it was the result of my thorough preparation, hard work, and learning from all my failures.

Consequently, I could notice that nothing really worth having in my daily living began to come quickly, surely and easily. If it did, I doubted that I would ever grow. However, since I wanted to grow up with determination, I began to construct my determination with sustained efforts, controlled attention and concentrated energy because I understood that opportunities would never come to those who waited but they are captured by those who dare to attack. I gathered that all my wishes were like seeds and all good seeds develop into healthy plants if they are placed on fertile soil with enough and suitable ingredients.

As I moved on in life, I developed that essential idea of harmonious growing up that nothing can withstand the power of the human will if it was willing to stake its very existence to the extent of its purpose. I may have made a few mistakes in my life and even some serious ones but I knew that there I was always another chance for me. So what people called failure was not the falling down for me and staying down but to get up and keep moving after every fall. As a result of all these awakenings, all that I had to do and the way I had to do these gradually became incredibly simple for me as long as I had the determination to do them right the first time and all the time.

As I moved into my adulthood and developed my professional and family life, willingness to do things well and with care became absolutely essential in all my initiations if I wanted to make my dreams and visions come true. I began to realise that “I can’t” often meant “I won’t” and I could not change “I won’t” to “I will” without developing my appropriate and stronger will power. On every step of my journey I knew that I had to always have and need tremendous self-control because I was told that people do not lack strength, they lack their will to move ahead with determination. So I never gave up on what I really wanted to do. My new realization was that the person with big dreams was more powerful than one with all the facts.

At University I studied Chinese history and culture and read that Gongfu was an ancient Chinese term describing our work, devotion and efforts that have been successfully applied over a substantial period of time, resulting in a degree of 17

mastery in a specific field. Although the term is synonymous in the West with martial arts, though it is most over rendered Kung Fu, it is equally applicable to calligraphy, painting, music, or other areas of endeavour. Through this notion I found out that the world could easily make way for me to know and comprehend where I was going.

The best day of my life was the one on which I decided that my life was my own and from then onward I had no apologies or excuses. There was no one to lean on, rely on, or blame. This life was a gift of God and was mine and I have been making an amazing journey. I was alone responsible for the quality of this life and living.

These became the wonderful days of my life and I really began to prosper. There were some obstacles that distracted my thought occasionally such as some illness, disease, apathy, doubt, carelessness, indolence, dissipation and false vision, failure to attain a firm basis of good living and attain joy. Since my desire had become the key to my motivation, it had been the determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of my goals — a commitment to excellence — that had enabled me to attain the success I have been seeking in life.

My self-will has been so ardent and active that it went on to break the world to pieces to make a stool for me to sit on and relax. My willpower has been the key to my success because I felt that successful people strive no matter what they feel by applying their will to overcome apathy, doubt or fear. Then I began to see all my tomorrows as the days when idlers worked and fools began to reform. What it boiled down to was this – it was up to me to get hold of my mind, control it, quieten it and God did the rest for me. My self-will became my character in action.

I felt that my future belonged to me because I believed in the beauty of my dreams. We all have dreams and so did I but in order to make my dreams come into reality, it took me an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort. The most important thing about having goals and self-will was for me to having them and believing in them because I believed that great souls have wills; feeble ones have only wishes.

I have had many successful days and events but there were a few that delivered me failures. However, any failure in my life established only this, that my determination to succeed was not strong enough so I tried harder to get rid of that shortcoming. Of course, my will power acted to my mind, body and soul like a strong blind man who carried on his shoulders a lame man who could see clearly.

So to be constant in my happiness I kept changing my strategies often to suit my conditions and environments. I believed that if my determination was fixed then nothing would counsel me to despair. I realised that a few things were impossible to diligence and skill and great works in life are performed not by strength, but perseverance. I longed to accomplish great and noble tasks but as I went along the path, it became my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble. I knew and believed that this world is moved along not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker. As I moved on in life I saw that the greatest waste in the 18

world was the difference between what I was and what I could become if I persevered constantly. There was nothing in the paths of my life as fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.

Over the years of interaction with my people I found out that willpower had become the art of replacing one of my habits for another. I was never disappointed if I failed but I understood that I would be doomed if I did not try again. I developed a determined soul within my body so that I could accomplish all that I aimed for in the future. The only good luck I ever had was being born with the ability and determination to overcome bad luck. My grandmother, I am told put a few drops of honey in my mouth at birth because she wanted me to always have sweet tongue and always resolve to find good opportunities for my prosperity.

Success my grandfather added was not a matter of luck but working with determination all the time. Awareness of this idea by itself was not enough because it must be joined by mastery, my father used to advise me ever since my childhood. He used to add occasionally to inspiring and motivating me that we needed gradually to develop a steering ability to keep ourselves from slipping mechanically into this or that sub-personality so that we become able to identify with each part of our being as we wished.

Therefore, as can be assessed that I had a lot more choices in life to search for better knowledge and pursue excellence. This showed me the difference between being impotently transported by a roller coaster instead of driving a car and being able to choose which way to go and for what purpose to make the journey of my life. My maternal grandfather, who was a sailor and a good fisherman, always reminded me that I as a sailor of this short life on earth should always know to which port I was sailing whether the wind was favourable or not. So with all these inspiring suggestions, I went on to become a product of the choices I made, not only the circumstances that I faced I was determined that I will not quit even if I faced a mountain of problems. My most essential factor in life gradually became my persistence and my determination never to allow my energy or enthusiasm to be dampened by the discouragement that must inevitably come in my path.

Whenever in my living I have asked God to help me to self-control my lusty desires He has willingly come out to amend all that I was lacking. However I was just content to wait and see what would happen but was determined to make the right things happen. Let me not be content to wait and see what will happen but give us the determination to make the right things happen. What has really distinguished my generation in all living from earlier generations has been its determination to act, its joy in action, the assurance of being able to change things by my own efforts. I firmly believe that If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you as it has amazed me. Whatever is in my mind is all that counts now for me to forge ahead with determination.

Having looked at all the pros and cons of perseverance and determination I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success 19

at something you hate. It was for this reason alone that I have stopped blaming others because when you blame others, you give up your power to change yourself and since I know that change is a constant aspect of modern living I do not want to do this ever but remain happy to spend the rest of my life with peace, prosperity and prestige that I love. The secret of my happiness now lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life with my wife Ganga and in elevating them to the life that we live and the life that we love. We will never give up this determination, for this is just the place and time that the tide of our current living will turn for us and make us happier.

A major part of my reasonably successful living can be attributed to my feelings, emotions, abilities and my confidence to put first things first. Indeed I now understand that the reason most of the major goals of people are not achieved is that often people spend their time doing second things first. Therefore I believe that continuous, unflagging effort, persistence and determination will always make us win many of our games of life if we play them well. I know that I will never be discouraged as long as I keep honouring and treasuring these aspects of living. I have not been too timid and squeamish about my actions as I was growing up because I took my life as an experiment and the more experiments I made and organised the better the management of my life became. Of course some of my experiments in life were sometimes a little course and I got my clothes torn and my body and soul got somewhat soiled. I never gave up when I failed but got fairly rolled again in the dirt once or twice. Up again, I can assure people that I was never ever afraid of any kinds of tumbles in my life. The greater and the harder the obstacles in my life made me witness more glory in overcoming them.

Courage I learnt at school as well as from my ancestors was the most important of all the virtues of living this modern life in the complex world because I now believe that without courage I could not have practised and followed any other virtues of life consistently. Then many types of hardship and failures would have overtaken my success and development if my determination to move on with confidence was not strong enough at all times.

My father was a successful farmer and for him courage, sacrifice, determination, commitment, toughness, kind heart, talent, guts were his greatest jewels of living and whenever we sat in our yard in the evenings after dinner he made sure that I got this message loud and clear in order to maintain my status as a progressive person. There were times when I went fishing with my father using our small craft when he would tell me that I cannot swim for new horizons until I had enough courage to lose sight of the shore.

Nowadays as an amateur writer, I have gathered that a determined person can still do a lot more with his pen and paper than a lazy person will accomplish with a personal computer. I know and believe that the difference between a successful person and many others is not a lack of strength, or not a lack of knowledge but rather a lack in will as I have stressed it before in this essay. I have gathered that the difference between the impossible and the possible lies in the determination 20

of a person who wants to accomplish things in life pursuing his paths his own way.

Therefore when I was told by my primary school teacher, Mr Gajraj Singh that working hard, being patient and being full of determination was perhaps the most fulfilling way of becoming a better person and richer in thoughts, I felt at ease and gained more confidence to go on with my life.

Very early in my growing up I learnt that I had to get up every morning with determination if I was going to go to bed with satisfaction. I kept remembering that one determined person can make a significant difference and that a small group of determined people can change the course of history because determination is the wake-up call to the human will. If I had a vision or a dream to develop my future I did not have to just sit there and brood but gather courage to believe that I could succeed and leave no stone unturned to make it a reality. Five Ps began to play their part for my development and kept me sane. They were my persistence, perfection, patience, power to prevail and prioritizing my passion.

I knew that there were some people among us who succeeded because they were destined to but most succeeded because they were determined to as I was. So my determination gradually became the key to do what was necessary even if it was not opportune and expedient. Even if I was not in the right or good mood at times and even if it took me more time and effort than I expected I had to contribute more than others did and keep on persevering. Consequently, the truest wisdom for me was a resolute determination. I liked to always think that I had my determination intact and I was fiercely protective of the idea of determination that I loved.

I understood and believed that my visions and dreams for my future would not become reality through dome magic because I was often told that success in life required sweat, determination and hard work. So I stayed focused and stayed determined without looking to anyone else to be my bearers of determination but pressed on regardless with my self-determination that took me l take forward and far in life.

As I said before I loved the life I lived and lived the life I loved and this love began to find a lot of better paths for me However, I still knew that my determination was my saviour. I constantly fed my brain that the greatest weakness was in giving up and the most certain way to succeed was always to try just one more time.

I wanted to have enough funds at my disposal to cater for the urgent needs of my family but it was not always about money or my connections but it was the willingness to outwork and outlearn everyone in order to meet all my needs and requirements to let my four children stand on their own feet and live a better life than I had. I never failed in this objective of mine and was extremely happy when I saw that all my children lived up to my expectation and went beyond. I had never envisaged or considered the possibility of failure in this parental obligation and I kept persisting for successful and expeditious resolution. Today I am proud that I was determined to make my empire look honourable and productive.

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It did not matter how many times I failed in life but I only had to be right once and then everyone could tell me that I was an overnight success. In case of any doubts I pushed on just a little further and then kept on pushing harder because I knew and believed that I could drive myself further once the effort got painful and I could easily manage the win to either find a way, or make one. I began to notice that all my decisions and determination were my engineers and firemen of my train to opportunity and success. I then adopted my WHY to live and began to bear everything to find out HOW, WHEN, WHAT and WHERE. Then not all my usual great works were just made from my strength but my determination and my perseverance began driving my spirit onwards. Hence, I was determined never to stop until I had come to the end and achieved all my purpose in life.

The path to my success in life was taken with massive, consistent and determined action. I knew that my goals were not always going to be within my reach so at times I had to outstretch myself to reach them. However, I always remembered that it was my motivation that would get me moving but it was my firm determination that kept me going. I choose not be what the world was but rather, I had chosen to be what the world said I could not be. When I was willing to replace mundane excuses with hard work and many of my laziness with determination, nothing could prevent me from succeeding. As I moved on in my life patience did not only mean waiting. It meant being steadfast despite opposition. My determination and flaming determination gradually became the driving spirit of every achievement that I aimed at breaking through the challenges. I knew and believed that not everything in life was achievable by a straight path and a small effort.

There were moments and events in my life when and where my fatigue, frustrations and patience were growing but I could not show any weakness to procrastinate. The undertaking and understanding were never easy but I was determined to do what I had planned to achieve in life. There were no buts and because for my progress and I had only my determination to consider seriously because that was going to lead me somewhere special and specific. I felt that if I could not climb the highest mountain in front of me anymore, I had to go to the closest hill near me because it was better than staying at the bottom thinking I could not do it. Often I knew and believed that my self-will was what eventually made a lot of difference to my way of life. Therefore where I was going to mattered a lot more than what I was going through at various points of my living.

So it was by fighting my limitations, temptations and failures of the present time that I kept reaching my highest possibilities and endeavours. Every time there were any doubts or problems ahead, a little more persistence, a little more effort and what seemed hopeless failure made me turn to glorious success.

As I grew up I knew what I wanted and wanted them badly enough so there was no problem for me to find the ways to go and get them. I learnt from the teachings of Gautam Buddha that there were two mistakes I could possibly make along the road to truth, beauty and goodness and they were not going all the way and not 22

starting my chosen tasks. So my determination to succeed gradually became the only way to move forward that I knew anything about. My prize of success in life and at work was hard work, dedication to the job at hand and the determination that whether I would win or lose, I had applied the best of myself to the task at hand. So I chose never to go backward but attempt all my given activities forthwith and do them with all my right and might. Thus determination like my knowledge became my greatest power.

It was not how many times I failed, tumbled or fell down while travelling during this given short life that went on to determine my success but it was the strength that every time I got into those negative situations and odd conditions, I made sure that I got back up as quickly as I could. As I moved along the chosen paths of my life every victory along the way looked like my own child of preparation and determination. As a student of wise teachers and son of loving parents I found it easy to enclose my heart with greater inspiration in times of need with the steel of my determination and my overwhelming strength. In doing this, all things slowly but surely became bearable and attainable. From then onwards It did not matter anymore where I was standing right then but what began to really matter to me was where I was going and heading to everyday.

My continuous involvement in community work and all the reading of scriptures and other literature from various corners of the world as well as listening to all people opened my ways to greater perseverance which became the secret of all my triumphs. Gradually courage became the foundation of my determination and I came to know and understand that determination and courage were the cornerstones of my success. Of course, the determination to keep working harder through deeper involvement in all my daily living and to increase my self-focus and discipline went along to assist me accomplish anything and everything in life. My people kept telling me that within each of us was a hidden store of determination to keep us in the race when all seemed lost. Thus my willpower became essential to the accomplishment of anything worthwhile for me in life. So I was led never to underestimate the determination of a man who was inspired and motivated by wise gurus and dedicated ancestors.

I had come to that specific point in my life that nothing could resist my will that was destined to stake even its existence on its stated purpose. I have been doing things my way ever since I attained my will to perform my given responsibilities with care, control and caution. I had done them before and I had the will to continue doing them now and in the future with added vigour so that I can continue to see the positive effects on my life and feel the possibilities. The only sensible thing left for me was to redirect the substantial energy of some of my frustrations and turn them into positive, effective, unstoppable determination so that my determination remained my obsession and then it would be all that will matter for me to be happy and satisfied with my progress.

Having got the opportunity to travel to some developed and under-developed countries of the world during my service to the enlightened teachers’ 23

organisations and education departments as well as some politicians I was fortunate to meet and have discussions with many people who were able to give me great wisdom. These individuals were some of the greatest achievers who had always stayed focused on their goals and had been consistent in their efforts to reform themselves and their colleagues. I have discovered in life that there are multiple ways of getting almost anywhere you want to go, if you really want to go.

Therefore to conquer some of my frustrations I remained intensely focused on the outcome, not the obstacles. To admit one of the greatest innovations from this point forward, I did not even know how to quit being progressive and determined individual in life.

When I tuned 80 I found out that there was no such thing as helplessness because I understood that it was just another word for giving up and the phrase ‘Give Up’ went out of my dictionary of life. While celebrating this important day of my life my wife Ganga admitted that that was the important point of our old age that we regarded as our golden age. She wanted us to love the life that we were living and live the life that we loved and continue to live on, no matter how hard it gets. We will win in the end, she concluded.

So I was ever more determined to ‘Keep Going’ and wanted my remaining days lead to the greatest moments of our life. When I said ‘Keep Going’ I wanted to make our tough times and difficult situations build a lot more careful and stronger people in the end and no matter how much rain or snow falls on us we would keep ploughing ahead with increased confidence and determination. We agreed that was the only way to keep our roads clear. We woke up each morning and looked ahead in our lives with hope and faith because we began to fully understand that all kinds of storms us stronger and they never last forever.

The difference between our perseverance and obstinacy was that one often came to us from a strong ‘will’ and the other from a strong ‘will not’ but the best way out was always through our determination to dwell in this difficult and complex world with dignity always remembering that the key of persistence would eventually open all closed doors by our constant resistance and proactive actions as long as we keep a little fire of truth, beauty and goodness burning within us, however small, however hidden.

Let me conclude this essay with the comment that although the key of persistence and determination had become the most wanted way to my success, it did not come to me but I had to go to it in search for excellence at all times. I knew that unless I had made all the above commitments, plans, promises and hoped for the best with added confidence and determination I would have remained an ordinary man with no extraordinary beliefs, talents and values.

Therefore, in order to persist with my goals, objectives, dreams and visions I did the right things in my life by treasuring, loving and honouring my life more than the costs of any sacrifices to attain them with glory but I had the blessings of Almighty God and my ancestors as well as the Gurus with me and my family to live happily, comfortably and learn to prevail in the competitive world.

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Of the seven billion people on this planet each and every person is unique, with his own habits, likes, dislikes, with his own character. Even though sometimes people may be similar to each other, they are absolutely different – their characters are absolutely unique. I am not an exception. I am also unique the way I am. Some people consider me boring, others think I am hilarious; some people think I am too smart, others laugh at my ignorance. Therefore I am like many men, many minds and many souls. I have talked about my various traits but I found it really hard to speak only about the bad traits of my character, however, I tried to be objective and critical about myself; however. Since I was young, I never wanted to have a failure in life; I make an effort to always succeed that clearly brought out one of my trait as my determination. That has become the very trait of character, which identifies me as a unique personality and I am more than convinced that but for this very trait I would not have achieved everything I have been able to do in life.

It was my elementary school when our teacher announced about a school concert.

Our class was about to present a performance. The teacher did not want to push us, so she asked all the pupils whether they were interested to show up at the school concert. However, the teacher’s request was followed by deadly silence. It was that very moment when I first expressed my determination – despite the fact that I was neither a musician nor a dancer, I raised my hand. Finally, that very performance was far from ingenious ones but I realized that not only does determination give a feeling of victory but it also helps to overcome inner fears.

Since then everything I do, I do it with determination and a strong desire to win. It is determination which helped me finish school with honours and it is also determination which helped me choose my future profession. My parents wanted me to study medicine; however, since my early childhood I had wanted to be involved as a teacher. Despite the fact that my parent were deeply against my choice, I was more than determined about what I would do in my future and I won.

I have always been a very stubborn and determined person, so even parents’ authority combined with their experience did not make me abandon my choice.

I had to work my way in this competitive and complex world, when I literally had to ‘elbow my way’ to the desired results. Thus, due to determination I have managed to complete almost all my projects the way I wanted them to be and once again proved myself and others that I am a ‘die hard’. Determination I believe is indispensable in daily life; however, sometimes it can be rather deceptive. If a person wants to reach success, he has to be determined, though it is also very important to take a sensible look at the situation, estimate it, and only then turn to actions. I have been a real winner in life and I strived to succeed, so I now am convinced that determination helped me be the way I am today.

One final point is important to end this presentation and that is that the will power and determination that I carried, went on to decide how successful I got in my life not only in my career and family life but the two also were needed to carry out several tasks in my daily life.

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CONTROLLING MYSELF BECAME MY PRIME TASK Things I have tried to control in my life made me satisfied I always appreciated the things I was given and occupied My beliefs, my attitude, my thoughts and my perspective How honest I was, who my friends were and be selective The books I read and how often I exercised got controlled The type of food I ate and how many risks I took rolled How kind I was to others and how I interpreted situations All these were properly controlled on almost all occasions How often I was kind to myself and when I said “I love you” How often I said thank you and expressed my feelings true Whether or not I asked for help and practiced my gratitude How many times I smiled in the day to improve my attitude The amount of effort I put forth every day to feel relaxed How much time I spent seeing that I am not at all worried How I spent and invested my money was under my control The only thing I could not control was the prize of petrol How often I thought about my past, my present and future These aspects were definitely under control as good nature Whether or not I judged other people got controlled alright Whether or not I try again after my setbacks was in my sight The best things that I could do in the process of my growing up Was always to be who I was, say what I felt and keep looking up I knew and understood well that those who were going to mind Those who mattered to me in life for my living I kept in my mind I have said this often times and would like to say it again today To move forward has been to let go of things in the best way All those negativities that are holding me back would go away All possibility thinking skills and talents would move in my way So I forgot to look back and grieve over the past since it was gone I began to live in the present to make my life free from any thorn Upon my realization that a life without a cause was a life without any effect I began my plain sailing in life with greater speed, care and a good effect

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AGING GRACEFULLY- AN ANNECDOTE THIS IS A GOOD READING FOR ALL THOSE WHO ARE 60 YEARS OLD AND ABOVE. This was specially written for you people by the famous Bollywood actress Rekha Ji on April 1st 2022.

If you are between sixty and your death then it is time to use the money you saved up. Use it and enjoy it. Do not just keep it for those who may have no notion of the sacrifices you made to get it. Remember there is nothing more dangerous than a son or daughter-in-law with big ideas for your hard-earned capital.

• Let me warm you all that this is also a bad time for investments, even if it seems wonderful or fool-proof. They only bring problems and worries. This is a time for you to enjoy some peace and quiet.

• So it is wise to stop worrying about the financial situation of your children and grandchildren, and do not feel bad spending your money on yourself. You have taken care of them for many years and you have taught them what you could. You gave them education, food, shelter and support. The responsibility is now theirs to earn their own money.

• It is advisable to keep a healthy life, without great physical effort. Do moderate exercise (like walking every day), eat well, and get your sleep. It is easy to become sick and it gets harder to remain healthy. That is why you need to keep yourself in good shape and be aware of your medical and physical needs. Keep in touch with your doctor, do tests even when you are feeling well. Stay informed.

• Always buy the best, most beautiful items for your significant other. The key goal is to enjoy your money with your partner. One day one of you will miss the other and the money will not provide any comfort then so always remember to enjoy it together.

• Do not stress over the little things. You have already overcome so much in your life. You have good memories and bad ones but the important thing is the present. Do not let the past drag you down and do not let the future frighten you.

Feel good in the now. Small issues will soon be forgotten.

• Regardless of age, always keep love alive. Love your partner, love life, love your family, love your neighbour and remember: "A person is not old as long as he/she has intelligence and affection."

• Be proud, both inside and out. Do not stop going to your hair salon or barber, do your nails, go to the dermatologist and the dentist, keep your perfumes and creams well stocked. When you are well-maintained on the outside, it seeps in, making you feel proud and strong inside as well.

• Do not lose sight of fashion trends for your age but keep your own sense of style. You have developed your own sense of what looks good on you – keep it and be proud of it. It is part of who you are.

• ALWAYS stay up-to-date. Read newspapers and watch the news. Go online and read what people are saying. Make sure you have an active email account and 27

try to use some of those social networks. You will be surprised at what old friends you would meet every now and then.

• It is advisable to respect the younger generation and their opinions. They may not have the same ideas as you but they are the future and will take the world in their direction. Give advice, not criticism and try to remind them that yesterday's wisdom still applies today. Never use the phrase: “In my time.” Your time is now. As long as you’re alive, you are part of this time.

• Some people embrace their golden years, while others become bitter and surly. Life is too short to waste your days on the latter. Spend your time with positive, cheerful people, it will rub off on you and your days will seem that much better. Spending your time with bitter people will make you feel older and harder to be around.

• Do not surrender to the temptation of living with your children or grandchildren (if you have a financial choice, that is). Sure, being surrounded by family sounds great but we all need our privacy. They need theirs and you need yours. Even then, do so only if you feel you really need the help or do not want to live by yourself • Do not abandon your hobbies. If you do not have any, make new ones. You can travel, hike, cook, read and dance. You can adopt a cat or a dog; grow a kitchen garden, play cards, checkers, chess, dominoes and even golf.

• Try to go and spend some time out and about. Get out of the house, meet people you have not seen in a while, experience something new (or something old). The important thing is to leave the house from time to time. Go to museums, go walk through a park. Get out there to enjoy your life.

• It is good to speak in courteous tones and try not to complain or criticize too much unless you really need to. Try to accept situations as they are.

• Pains and discomfort go hand in hand with getting older. Try not to dwell on them but accept them as a part of life.

• If you have been offended by someone – forgive them. If you have offended someone-apologize. Do not drag around resentment with you. It only serves to make you sad and bitter. It does not matter who was right. Someone once said: "Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die." Do not take that poison. Forgive, forget and move on with your life.

• Laugh and grow well to age gracefully. It is better to laugh away your worries than to knot them and keep them with you. Remember, you are one of the lucky ones. You managed to have a life, a long one. Many never get to this good age, never get to experience a full life. My valued friends, enjoy peaceful life at this point in your life and keep adding more wisdom to my ideas.

DO NOT WORRY AND BE HAPPY. NB: (Rekha is not her original name. Her original name is Bhanurekha Ganesan.

Both her father (Gemini Ganesan) and mother (Pushpavalli) were Tamil and Telugu actors respectively. Rekha started working early in Telugu films as a child artist.

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AGING WITH DIGNITY AND LIVING WITH GRACE I have been aging gracefully with dignity and grace to learn acceptance as my way of life. Therefore, my life has shown me time and time again that there are so many things I could not change or control so my solution was acceptance. Thus I tried to become the person I wanted to be while also never losing my dignity because I believed that I may lose many things in my life but if I lost my dignity, my honour and my goodness then I am lost and cannot be found again. I was told that every life on this earth deserved a certain amount of dignity no matter how poor or damaged is the body that carries that life. It was better for me to have a short life that is full of enjoyment and fun and what I liked doing than a long life spent in any miserable way. So I developed my wise habit of knowing when to walk away from evil thoughts, actions and words. When I was able to do these I felt brave and courageous to walk away with grace and holding my head high because that was my dignity.

Consequently, I never got so busy making my living that I forgot to make my life.

Then I was clothed in human strength and acceptable dignity and began to laugh without fear of the future. I just had to make sure that my heart and mind worked together because if they did not then it was a certainty that I would not have found harmony and the needed balance in my life and would have gone astray. I now accept that death with dignity is a lot better than life and living with humiliation. However, I have to remember that no storm would last forever in life so I must learnt to hold on, be brave, have faith because every storm of my life and living would be temporary. The great thing is that I have never been alone in life because the Lord was with me always.

I just had to become a person with purpose, goals and visions rather than having time for unnecessary dramas in life. I just gradually began to invest my time and energy in creativity and focussed on living a positive life. I threw all my doubts out of the window because I knew and believed that doubts kill more of our dreams that any kind of failure ever would. As I have expressed my views, opinions and thoughts of acceptance and gratitude, I know and would never forget that the highest appreciation in this life is not to just utter and write words but to live by them. This is why what I say is what I do and I do what I say.

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Growing Up in Fiji Fiji is a nation of over 300 islands in the South Pacific Ocean. Fijians, Indians, Europeans, Chinese and others have been living in reasonable harmony. Fiji’s climate is tropical with adequate rainforests and pine plantations. Indians do cultivation of sugarcane and there are coconut palms galore. A country of uncertain political and economic future but has to support at least three quarter million people. This country is my motherland and I have a special feeling for the place.

As stated in the previous episode, I was born and raised in Botini that is part of Sabeto; a village rich in culture, community and control, a place where people lived in harmony and all sorts of cultivation was at its peak, an environment that boasted self-sufficiency at all times. People lacked nothing and enjoyed life to the fullest. Our farm was made up of a thirty-hectare of native lease that had rough terrain but the soil in the valley was very rich and alluvial for any crop to flourish.

A small stream of fresh water ran across the property and big trees of na-ivi, coconuts, mangoes, and other fruit trees were growing well along both sides of the stream. Fish of various types and eels swam in that stream and during my childhood I loved fishing there with an old man called Sahadatt, who lived as a hermit in a small thatched house that my father had built for him. He was like a caretaker or a watchman for our farm. He cooked his own meals and many times made me enjoy the good taste of the eel curry that he so tactfully prepared.

On our farm of sugarcane, pineapples, rice and mixed vegetables there was always plenty to do and enjoy. The hilltops were overgrown with guava trees that were always laden with fruit for us to pick. Anything that we wanted was on the farm; sugarcane to eat, pineapples to slice, delicious coconuts to drink, mangoes galore, citrus fruits of all kind, such as pawpaws, melons, cucumbers, rock melons, pineapples and many others. That was self-sufficiency at its extreme.

It was against this backdrop that my parents were always eager to practice great experiments on their farm and the Agriculture Department of Fiji assisted them with advice and seeds and seedlings of potatoes, citrus fruits and other vegetables.

The vegetable section on our farm produced enormous amounts of beans, cabbages, corn, cucumber, melons and similar crops that were delivered to Lautoka and Nadi Markets every Friday on our Ford Six truck 3408.

Such were the rural and village luxuries I enjoyed on the farm when I was a primary school child at Sabeto Indian School from 1946 to 1953 and a secondary student at Natabua High School from 1954 to 1957. I used to do my travelling to and from the schools by various means, on foot, horseback, using a bike and later mostly by bus transport when I went to my high school. The travelling by various means was another part of my learning.

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I worked on the goat and cattle farms as a herdsman and acted as a cowboy on many occasions. I also did a lot of ploughing, planting, weeding, hoeing and harvesting using our pairs of oxen and finely bred farm horses. No work was hard for me and I worked in the vegetable gardens, fruit, and pineapple and sugarcane farms. So much so that my father had to ask me to slow down and concentrate on my schoolwork so I had to divert my energy and move on in this progressive direction.

Horse riding was one of my best leisure on my golden brown horse called Goldie but I also had a good bicycle called Hercules. These two means of transport took me to many surrounding areas of larger Sabeto. Visits to the seaside, the Sabeto River and the Mount Evans Range were always on our agenda when my father allowed me to go with my friends for a spin. The climbs on the Sleeping Giant were healthy and exciting.

I vividly remember a day when I was riding my horse from Botini, our farm to Sipia, our goat paddock and Goldie my horse ran into the hornets’ next. He went berserk and started running wildly and would not stop despite my many efforts to calm him down. I knew I was at a risk of being thrown over so I had to act and act fast. I came across a pandanus tree and held on to the hanging branch to let the horse keep running. In the process the branch of the tree broke and I fell with the branch to the ground. This impact created a dent in my backbone, a deep cut on my left leg and these have been my problem ever since. The doctor at Nadi Hospital Dr Mukerji who treated me pulled the thorn of the pandanus from my leg without any anesthetic and then bandaged the wound.

Goldie was found cooling himself in the nearby river after about two hours by my uncle Govind who had arranged my treatment at the Out-patient department of Nadi Hospital. My father then decided to sell the horse to stop me getting into any further troubles.

I made various fishing trips to the nearby Wailoaloa Beach or the Sabeto River with my friends Satnarayan and Saddik and brought home enough catch to make my parents happy because the catch provided good meals for us. These trips were made once a month but were of great interest and refreshment for us because they gave a lot of outlet for our emotions. We learnt the art of patience and love of outdoor life. We consolidated our friendship by trivial chatting and being on our own.

I remember making a few trips to the mountain range to hunt for wild goats. This was very difficult adventure for us because the goats would run wild on the high rocks and we would be left behind with our traps and snares. However, there were times when after spending the whole day we managed to get a few in our traps.

We had to kill the goats and clean the carcasses and brought only the meat with us. Carrying the bag full of meat was always a problem but my horse Goldie was our help.

On a few occasions I accompanied my father to enjoy pigeon shooting and I remember that our catch was also very good because in those days very few 31

people had guns and gaming license. Pigeons were plentiful and shooting was easy but carrying the pigeons back home was a task. The difficulty that we encountered in shooting and bringing the birds home was well compensated when my mother made delicious curry for the evening for us to enjoy.

My mother never went to school and did not have any reading and writing skills but she had many good human qualities. She was a very powerful woman who controlled her children well. She was an excellent cook and displayed extreme passion and understanding when she interacted with her children. She could not help us with our schoolwork but she guided us to lead a good life. I always had a great admiration for her commitment and empathy.

People say I have learnt most of my values from my mother and they may be right because a lot of my social communication style, my general human interaction and my daily conduct come from my mother. I am proud of the fact that despite her illiteracy she was able to do so much for me. I am reminded of the opening line of Ravindranath’s poem: Amma tere mamta ka nahi koi mol.

My family members called me Lakhan in those days but my mother called me Badkana, which meant the eldest. I started my formal education at Sabeto Indian School in 1946 from Class 1 and finished my Class 8 studies there in 1953. My formative years were of average academic standard but I began to excel from Class six onwards and was a role model for many village students. I was always among the top three students at school but my sporting activities were limited to some soccer and hockey games only. I loved sports and athletics but there weren’t many opportunities to participate and compete in those days.

My reading activities were limited to reciting from the Holy Books-Ramayana and Bhagwat Gita for my grandparents and parents, the Jungle Book and the New Method Readers. There were no public libraries in those days and the school library had only a limited collection. I did not have the luxury of bedtime story reading. However, whenever we got our supply of bread and other goods from the town shops, the items were wrapped with pages of old newspaper. My father collected these for us to read and at times he tested us by asking us to read the news items aloud to him.

While at primary school I participated in a lot of dramatic activities at the local temple where the religious drama activities of Ram Lila, Krishna Lila and Lav Kush Lila were dramatized on stage for the public to enjoy. These were conducted at the hall at nights for weeks and I enjoyed acting the role of Lord Rama. My grandfather was the director and my father was the president of the Sanatan Dharam Mandali of Sabeto. After the stage work was over we had our dinner there. We enjoyed the dhal, rice and chatnee prepared so skilfully by my grandfather, who was a great cook in times of need.

My teachers were good and worked hard. Ram Kissun, Vijendra Sudhakar, Ramendra Dutt Mishra, Ram Krishnan and Gaj Raj Singh. The head master at that time was Rameshwar Prasad. Rameshwar Prasad inculcated a love of hard work and dedicated study into me when I was told that he completed his Bachelor of 32

Arts and Bachelor of Teaching degrees by correspondence from University of London in those days. This display of academic excellence was unheard of in those early times. I remember telling my friends that one day I will beat my head master’s record by doing my degrees as well. I kept this promise I made to myself.

All these were exceptionally brilliant teachers fully dedicated to keep us working hard and progressing. I could not have asked for any better deal at school because I got the best at all times, maybe because my father was very well known to the school community. This excellent teaching environment may have been a deciding factor for me to become a teacher myself.

My only regret of my primary school days was when I accidentally hurt the headmaster’s daughter Radha and then offered her some lollies to forgive me. She reported the matter and I was called to the headmaster’s office and punished. We were classmates but after this incident we did not talk to each other for ages until she visited our house in Nadi in 1988 when she was a doctor in Wellington in New Zealand. I found out that she was a good friend and classmate of my wife. We did talk about our childhood stupidity and made up with a delicious dinner prepared for her. However, she died of cancer in Wellington a few years later.

While going to Sabeto Indian School from 1946 to 1953 I was walking on foot to and from school, a distance of about ten kilometres daily with my uncle and aunts.

Sometimes my uncle Chetram used to give me a ride on his bicycle. Other times he used to go on a horseback and took me piggyback or as a double rider. Walking that distance on gravel and dusty road was no problem at all. With no shoes on our feet, this travelling to and fro acted as a very good exercise and training for us.

During my primary days I used to work on my father’s farms of rice, pineapple, sugarcane and lentils and go to the markets with my father to sell the items on Saturdays at the CSR Compound in Lautoka where the market day used to be organized. These were one of the most interesting selling experiences and interactions with the business and other communities and I learnt a lot from these interactions and activities. My father had a lot of regular customers only because his produce was always clean, fresh and well displayed. My father was fundamentally a different type of vendor for the customers because he cared about them and gave them tender loving care and good service.

The days when our supplies were more than the demand, we were left with some of our produce, which we had to throw in the nearby paddock where the cows enjoyed eating them. My father would not sell them cheaply or give these free to anyone but he was very happy to witness the scene when the cows of Maan Singh Dairy farm munched the vegetables away slowly with interest. This paradigm of circumstances confused me in the beginning but when I understood the ethic behind feeding the animals I could see that as a Hindu my father was doing nothing more than just feeding the sacred cows.

Milking of cows and goats was one my favourite past times. Then the rule was to boil your milk and extract the butter fat from the yoghurt the next day using a bamboo extractor in a large four-litred container. Of course, it was my duty to get 33

fresh green para and guinea grass for my cows and goats in order that they continued to provide us with a lot of fresh milk. These were difficult chores but interesting and soothing to my soul.

One of the ideas that got ingrained into me after my father constantly and continuously motivated me was the concept of hard and quality work so whatever I did, I did it well and with all my interest. There was no farming activity that I could not perform but while doing those I never faltered in my studies. My commitment to all my tasks was very solid and deep.

It was through these quintessential paths that my parents built for me that I found my upward mobility easy and smooth. My parents were poor in the beginning but that was no excuse for their inadequacies. As the transformation of circumstances developed, they learnt to persevere and cleared the slippery rung of their ladder of progress through hard work and determination. I shared the same anxiety, ambitions and adaptations to move ahead with pride.

I had the opportunity to learn some aspects of sex education by accident. A neighbour of ours named Zhinku had two daughters Srimati and Bhanmati, who did not go to school. A married farmer, Bechuram who was living next to their house had developed a relationship with Bhanmati. I found out about this accidentally when I visited their home one-day. Since no one answered my knock at the door I looked through the window and to my surprise I saw Bechuram and Bhanmati having sex. Without their knowledge I kept watching their intimate sexual behaviour for a few weeks.

However, one day they saw me peeping through the window. My accidental sexual education ended there. Bechuram ran away for fear that I would tell the secret to his family. Bhanmati called me and offered me some reward and asked me not to reveal the secret to anyone. I kept it a secret for a long time because it was one of my private tuitions that gave me some aspects of sex education when I was an adolescent. The other reason to keep it a secret was to save the two families from any disgrace in the community.

However, it was having an effect on my conscience so I let it out to my uncle long after Bhanmati was married, divorced and committed suicide. My uncle in turn used this secret as a weapon to extract some sexual favours from of his classmate Srimati, Bhan’s sister. Had I known that this was a possibility I would have suffered silently than to be a reason of dispute in my uncle’s family life. I regretted the whole affair but could not do anything. Tell or not to tell became my problem but I managed to overcome this.

There are times in the life of a person when a slight mistake or slip leads to a greater tragedy and this episode was one of those that have been haunting me. In retrospect I should have had the courage of my conviction to tell all to everyone concerned whether they would have believed me or not is another matter. My fear was that Bechu and Bhan as adults would have declared my story as false and I would have been punished instead.

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It was examination time at school and I had to study hard so I carried my notebooks with me when I was grazing my cattle in the field. I was so engrossed in my studies that I forgot to keep an eye on the animals, which wondered onto a nearby vegetable area and destroyed a lot of our seedlings and crops.

My father was furious to see the destruction and I remember getting the brunt of his full anger when he used his whip on me instead of the animals. I regretted this but never again did I falter in my farming duties and chores that were allocated to me. The paradox of this event is that you have to be cruel to be kind.

My father was a disciplinarian and always wanted his children to do the right thing and do well in every human activity. He loved his children very much and would do anything to keep them happy. He wanted me to be someone to remember because I was the eldest. His happiness was beyond his control when he learnt that I was going to be a teacher. He was overwhelmed to hear that news because that was his objective. It turned out that I was his only child out of the nine that had developed a profession. Later in life he told me that he was very happy that I had achieved good results in life and met his expectations.

In those days as a reward for good work for the whole month I was allowed to accompany some of my friends to Nadi town to see Hindi movies in the old wooden theatre of Harry Uraia. We used to travel by bus but later the open-air theatre came to our village and they used to screen the Hindi movies at the temple grounds and we used to enjoy the Saturday evening programs.

My father was one of the first persons in Sabeto to have a radio that needed a wet-celled battery to run and the battery needed to be regularly charged at a charger that was located about five miles away from our house. I used to carry the battery on my shoulder to have it charged and then bring it back. In this process the battery water on many occasions spoilt my clothes but the enthusiasm and anticipation to listen to the one fifteen minute Hindi program on Tuesday and an hour’s evening Hindi program on Saturday kept me going to the charger and back.

The radio station was called ZJB and the announcer and presenter of programs was Chandrika Prasad Sriwastow who had a wonderful radio voice. The program was largely made up of news items but if time permitted we were lucky to get a few old songs such as ‘bachpan ki mohabbat ko dil se na bhula dena’.

During this period of my adolescent development I was working very hard with my father on the farms to learn all the necessary tricks and traits of planting rice and vegetable and rearing goats and other animals. Since my mind, body and soul were all busy concentrating either on the farm or on schoolwork I had very little time to develop any serious hobbies of my own but I did manage to go swimming in the Sabeto River and learn some wrestling skills from my father.

After a few years, pineapple farms flourished as did the sugarcane farms and I was very interested in harvesting pineapples and sugarcane for delivery to the Colonial Sugar Refinery in Lautoka on the family truck FORD SIX # 3408. Coincidentally this was my Teachers’ Personal File (TPF) number when I graduated. I began driving the family Ferguson Tractor and the Ford Six truck from the age of twelve when I 35

was in Class eight. It never occurred to anyone that these were dangerous and unlawful activities.

By 1952 my parents were well-established farmers and began to pay more attention to my education and my progress improved considerably. My other brother and sisters were at school as well but I was the center of attraction all because I was the eldest and I used to bring good school reports home. This put me in a hyper drive to accelerate my efforts at school. My father told me that the world out there was becoming dangerous and complex every day and one has to get ready to face it head on.

I was the first child from the village to pass the then challenging Primary School Leaving Certificate and be selected to attend the prestigious secondary school called Natabua High School. The joy that this sweet success gave me was very odd because I was happy on the one hand and uncertain of my future on the other.

However, my parents and the rest of the family were enthusiastic and provided an affirmation to my commitment so I had no choice but to go ahead with added vigour. From 1954 to 1957 I studied at this school and did well to keep my parents and the family members happy.

I travelled to Natabua by bus every morning and returned by bus after school around five. These travelling experiences gave me many advantages. While sitting in the bus for about an hour I remember revising some of my schoolwork and catching up with my required as well as other reading. I read many classical readers written by Charles Dickens, RL Stevenson, Jane Austin, James Joyce, Walter Scott, George Orwell, Rudyard Kipling, D H Lawrence, Lord Byron and the Bronte Sisters. My best-loved books came from GB Shaw, V S Naipaul and Lewis Carroll.

I read the books and was always interested in the various ideas, imagery and plots contained in them. I never failed to compare my own situations and circumstances after reading the novels. So the learning from my reading was not only rich vocabulary but also style and structure. The varied backgrounds and settings in each novel gave me a lot of insight into different situations and circumstances that human beings interacted. My extensive reading habit made me a better student and a improved human being.

Study of Shakespeare and the early poets was my deeper interest. My collection of Shakespearean plays started from Julius Caesar, The Merchant of Venice, Macbeth, King Lear and Hamlet. However, I was introduced to other Shakespearean plays as well. I never got enough of Shakespeare and the more I read the plays the better my understanding became. Love of style and vocabulary made me act in the plays at school.

Fictions, non-fictions, myths and legends gave me a lot of knowledge and interest.

My poetry studies included Tennyson, Elliot, Blake, Wordsworth, Browning, Hopkins and WB Yeats. I searched for ideas; rhymes and rhythms that made me love the words and structures used in them. I loved reciting important and valuable stanzas from selected poems. I loved to visualize the settings in all the poems and to see the meaning and manner of presentation in all of them.

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Whilst at school I studied subjects such as English, English Literature, History, Geography, General Science, Mathematics and Book Keeping and Commerce. At school I participated in Drama, Hockey and Soccer and kept my academic position in the first three boys in his class. There were no girls in our class initially but later we had a few from the three in the whole school. I did not have any favourite subjects but excelled in all of them.

While at the school I had the proud privilege of being educated by such prominent teachers as Rohan Prasad, Parshu Ram, John Ram Sharan, CP Balakrishanan, CM Dass, Sursenap Ram Sharma, Govind Sami Naidu, Khalil Mohammed and F E Joyce.

The school provided us an all-round balanced quality education with equal emphasis on drama and sports.

I acted on stage in two Shakespearean plays Julius Caesar (Caesius) and The Merchant of Venice (Bassanio). Our school drama club had presented these on stage at the school hall and in a few theatres in Lautoka and Nadi. Acting in these plays built my confidence and self-esteem and I became a better public speaker.

I was a Non Commanding Officer (NCO) in the Natabua Cadet Squadron. This was part of the total education at Natabua. Our commanding Officers were our teachers who taught us the discipline required in army. Our field exercises included jungle training and platoon marching exercises with our rifles that had their firing pins removed and the bullets in the magazines were blanks.

One afternoon I was disciplined for poor performance when I giggled at the way the Commander gave us the command and his belly shook heavily. I was given the task to march from the school ground to the Natabua Junction with the rifle hanging across the shoulder. This took me about an hour to complete and I was totally exhausted at the end of it. I had to be taken to the sickbay for treatment because I had dehydrated badly.

I represented the school four times in Oratory contests in Lautoka’s Globe Theatre and came back with a Shield once and a Trophy twice. I also took part in a district debate competition once. Presentations of speeches and debates were of very high quality and we always had a full house. My topics for the oratory even then used to deal with rural versus urban life, war and peace and the need for success.

Life at this prestigious High School was full of fun and we had fantastic opportunity to develop various important skills and talents. I was intrigued by the display of honesty and integrity by one of my favourite teachers at school. His name was Rohan Prasad, a Science and Maths graduate from Auckland University. His teaching style was unique because he practiced discovery method and believed in discipline and democracy in the classroom. He was greatly instrumental in motivating me to become a teacher myself.

At the end of my four fruitful years at Natabua I became a well-developed student with excellent records in Literature, Mathematics, Social Sciences and Accounting. I passed my Fiji Junior Certificate and Overseas Cambridge School Certificates in the B Division, University Entrance Examination from UK and was advised to take

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medicine as a career but I opted for teaching on the advice of my careers teachers.

I just followed their advice.

In 1958 I went to Nasinu Teachers’ College to be trained as a teacher. I stayed there for two years and graduated to teach as a primary school teacher. I was posted to teach in Vanualevu, Labasa in 1960. I was put on an annual salary of 240 pounds.

Life at Nasinu Teachers’ College was very difficult for the first year because I was a rural youth and in the beginning I was not able to freely and confidently socialize with the other urban-based students. However, when I gradually learnt to assimilate and meet the challenges facing me I began to mix well with everyone.

Two years moved very fast and I made a lot of friends whilst there.

During the second year I met the lady of my life and fell in love at first sight. She became the reason for my existence and I used to find excuses to keep her in sight at all times. While supervising the duties of students as an MSC I made trips to the library every morning just to get a glimpse of her and exchange a few words.

These interactions and exchanges kept increasing and we were fortunate to share the same table in the dining hall for a year. Our conversations and chats were professional and we kept developing our affection for each other because a lot of our likes and dislikes seemed congruent and matching. I used to find excuses to see her every day because this gave me a feeling of satisfaction. As a consequence I developed a liking for a Hindi song all because of her. This explains my true feeling for her. Rahoon kaise main tum ko nihare bina re mora mun hi na mane tumhare bina.

Very few of our friends knew that we were developing our romance to lead us to the ultimate ending of making a family life together. When the year ended, I graduated and she was left to complete another year at the College. I was sent out on my teaching assignment to Labasa the main town on the island of Vanua Levu but regular telephone calls and letters kept our love lamp alive and active.

My fiancé was left behind at the College but we continued to correspond and make regular telephone conversations. In those days two of my friends who were working for the telephone company helped me get free telephone calls once a month.

Whilst at Nasinu College, I continued my studies from London School of Accountancy as an external student with the help of the Vice Principal JL Stevens.

He was instrumental in guiding me to complete my Diploma in Accountancy in November 1958. This boosted my ego and my status at the College so much so that I was elected as the Treasurer of the Students’ Council in 1959. This was a very responsible leadership position and I managed to perform the tasks with dignity and dexterity.

While the lecturers at the College prepared us fully with the skills of teaching they also provided a lot of opportunities for us to participate in sporting activities, hobbies and fine arts. I played soccer and hockey for the College B Teams that met every Saturday at the Albert Park Grounds. The rationale behind all these activities 38

was that we needed to be trained in body, mind and character in order to ably fit into the society that we were posted to as qualified teachers after our professional preparation.

After introducing us to the initial theoretical teaching skills we were sent to do our teaching practice for six weeks twice a year at selected nearby schools where experienced teachers became our mentors and we learnt to put the theory into practice with their professional guidance. During the first year I did my practical teaching very successfully at St Columbus Primary and Samabula Government Primary Schools. In the second year I taught at Naitasiri Baharatiya School in Nausori and at Deenbandhu Primary School in Suva.

I kept my dramatic skills alive at Nasinu by acting on stage as the lead role in the epic play Chandragupta and toured all centres of Fiji during the school holidays. I also acted in short plays at the Lilac Theatre. Andrew Gaya Prasad and Ram Harakh directed our stage shows and radio plays and provided us with a lot of dramatic and acting skills. The continued participation in these dramatic areas developed our communication skills, our confidence and also increased our skills as teachers.

I did multiple radio plays and did many short stories known as Geeton Bhari Kahania for Radio Fiji and wrote other short stories and poems in various Hindi newspapers like Jagriti, Shanti Dut and Fiji Samachar. Later in life my regular radio programs were known as “Education & Society” in English and “Sikhsha and Samaj” for the Hindustani Radio Station.

After spending two long years at the College I graduated as a primary school teacher in December 1959 and when I reached home I was welcomed by my parents who had organised a welcome home party for me. My father was very happy to see me as a teacher because this was his dream. His happiness at this party was unmeasurable when he kept telling the family members and friends about the great work I had done to fulfil his ambition. His joy turned into sadness when I told him that I had to go to Vanua Levu and teach in Labasa but he accepted it as my duty to the community.

I began teaching at Vuo Bharaiya School in Vunika in Labasa in 1960. I developed a very intimate relationship with the community and whilst I lived in the public quarter I spent most of my after school hours at the homes of people like Mama Shiu Narayan, Krishna, Shree the taxi driver and many others. An old man Nagu was my immediate neighbour who visited me regularly in the evenings with the pretext of lighting my Tilley lamp. This kerosene lamp needed methylated spirit to heat it before it could be lit.

Nagu used to light the lamp and then drink the left over spirit but I caught him redhanded one day and showed him the warning on the bottle that read: is ko pine wala andha ho sakta hai. He immediately replied that ho sakta hai lekin hoga nahi.

As a young man I played soccer for the Wanderers team and enjoyed hockey for the Teachers team. I lived in a Public Quarter on the school compound, cooked my own meals and looked after every housework. I smoked very heavily and got into a company of people who were very heavy drinkers. In 1962 my salary was revised 39

to three hundred and eighty pounds annually but in those days this was not enough to live as lavishly as I was living. So in four years when I went back to Sabeto I had a debt of over 1000 Pounds in Labasa. This was paid later when I got married.

My teaching service in Vanualevu was very interesting because I loved the community and served them well and in return they gave me good respect and treatment. I used to visit friends in various areas to go for pigeon shooting, pig hunting and fishing trips to the ocean. There never was a dull moment and everyone in Vanualevu was so kind and considerate to me. Vunika to Wainikoro and Nasea to Tabia were all my weekend and weekdays errands.

While serving in Vanualevu I began studying for my degree from Massey University of NZ through correspondence and completed History I and Education I despite so many difficulties of delayed posts and scarcity of textbooks.

During these school holidays I used to go home to Sabeto and it was here that my father taught me a lot of additional skills of farming. These were very interesting and adventurous activities that gave me a lot of confidence and self-esteem. Of course, it also provided special bonding with my father who began treating me like his friend and shared a lot of ideas about family life. I would have been a lot poorer without these interactions.

After serving Vuo for three years I was transferred to Tabia Sanatan School and developed an excellent relationship with the community. By now people began to call me RL and I served the Education Workers Society as their secretary and then Executive member of the Fiji Teachers’ Union Labasa Branch until my transfer to Nadi's Sabeto Muslim School in 1964.

This is where my married life began with my wife Saroj. We got married a day after my 24th birthday on 19th January 1964. After our marriage we lived at the family home and started teaching at Sabeto Muslim School.

Preparation for my wedding started early in January when my parents began conducting various cultural activities. Since their eldest son was getting married they had invited all the family members and the entire village rallied behind the family to see that every thing was conducted well. It all started with the Tilak ceremony when my father in law came with his family members to confirm the marriage.

Among the Hindus this Tilak ceremony holds an important position when the selected male family members from the bride’s side visit the groom’s residence and perform the cultural rituals. After all the rituals the bride’s father offers gifts to the groom and his family members. The bride’s brother marking formal engagement places a ceremonial tika on the forehead of the groom. This was done for me on 11th January in the evening when the Sharma Family members (CPSharma, KPSharma, JPSharma and Vinod Sharma) came to our residence.

These were the first twenty-four years of my life and I dedicate these good years to the healthy interaction with my grandparents, my parents and my family

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members and friends. In these beautiful years of my growing up I was given a firm foundation to move ahead with faith, hope and freedom.

I was a role model for many in the village and to my only brother Vijendra Prasad and seven sisters, Vidya Wati, Shiu Mati, Kushma Wati, Upma Devi, Suman Lata, and Sarla Devi. They too enriched my life through their healthy interactions.

Vijen lives in LA in the USA and owns a very successful enterprise Fiji Travel and other Real Estates. His wife Nirmala and two sons work hard to make the business even more successful and enterprising. My sisters Vidya, Shiumati, Kushma and Upma live in Fiji with their families. Suman lives in Monterey USA with her family and Sarla or Arun lives in Auckland NZ with her two daughters.

My teachers contributed a lot through their motivational pursuits and excellent guidance and I owe them a lot. What I am today is the direct result of good family life education, excellent primary education at Sabeto Indian School and a balanced educational development at Natabua High School.

My initial professional preparation at Nasinu Teachers’ College was very good foundation to proceed in the pursuit of excellence in educational field. One of my mentors of the training days was a person called John L Stevens, who in many respects guided me and provided me with excellent opportunities to further my teaching career.

Someday I will gather enough courage to complete my life history and leave it for the family members and friends to enjoy reading. When it is complete it will be all truth and nothing but the truth.

This then is the end of my early growing up in Sabeto, a village in Nadi, Fiji. Here I sometimes failed to see and feel my growing up process but I succeeded in many of my accomplishments against the odds of rural living. I sometimes feel angry and am very bitter about the conduct of some of my family members who have let us down by doing things that were not congruent to healthy human living. All my family members were not angels and those that had the devil reside within them conducted their lives with deceitfulness and poor taste. I have tried to keep such demerits out of my story to enable it to be read with dignity by everyone.

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HUMAN LIFE HAD MULTIPLE MYSTRIES FOR ME I have often wondered why we are living in this world and what the purpose of our living is. I was told by my ancestors that there are at least six keys to solve this mystery.

Firstly, I believe that when I was born, God had a definite plan for me. I was told that if I trusted Him then He would always have firm desires to express for my good and healthy living. So as I grew up I put myself in the company of those godloving people that not only had faith in the powers of the Supreme Being but had trust on all His love and blessings. Consequently, I learnt to pray regularly for His love and blessings to be spread on all my future ways and routes. He never let me down when I learnt that as a glove is made to fit into the hand so also I as human beings was made in the image of God to contain Him. Therefore, by receiving God as His content I was always loved and blessed appropriately by Him. Secondly, I was also told that to fulfil His plan God made me as a vessel which had three parts namely my body, my soul and my spirit. My body kept contacting and receiving things from the physical realm, my soul which was my mental faculty kept contacting and receiving things from the psychological realm and my spirit which was my innermost part kept contacting and receiving God Himself.

Therefore, I believe that I was created not merely to eat, live and sleep but to get the appropriate knowledge from the scriptures to enrich my body, mind, soul and spirit. This I was able to do with the help of my parents, grandparents and other gurus.

Thirdly, I was told that I had to be careful not to fail as an honest, good and beautiful person and unknowingly fall from the path of life as a human being from my duties and responsibilities. Before I could receive God’s spirit as part of my life, there was a possibility that I could be confronted by the Satan or the Devil to get into various kinds of sins. In order to avoid this situation and save me from deadening my body, soul and spirit I had to take appropriate actions to keep receiving the love and blessings of God through my prayers. Nevertheless, my expected falls from the paths in life as a human being did not materialise because it did not deter God from fulfilling His original plan to love, bless and guide me.

God entered into my soul as Lord Krishna and Lord Rama or Lord Vishnu because I kept reciting the Bhagvad Gita, Ramayan and Vishnu Puran. The more I got into my family life and the more I kept my religious values alive the more I was able to protect my body, my soul and my spirit and lead a humanistic life that was far from all false traditional practices, hypocrisy, pretense and sectarianism. Gradually I was led not to be bogged down in any specific religion but live a life of a simple human being who believed in what he did and said.

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Consequently, since all these human values of truth, beauty and goodness began working to maintain my body, soul and spirit, the powers of the Supreme Being began to regenerate me and my family into an acceptable human being in the community where I worked, served and made my other social, financial and cultural contributions. I knew that to make my life better I had to make sure that I did not do anything that would make me a sinner and even if they did I had to repent and ask for forgiveness which I never forgot to perform. To be regenerated, I simply went to the Lord with an open and honest heart to thank Him and ask Him to cleanse me from my sins by coming into me and filling me with His continuous love and blessings.

I was told that after my regeneration, sincere repentance and my continued faith in the powers of the Supreme Being, the Lord would strengthen the blessing and loving processes by spreading Himself into my body, soul and spirit to transform me. This transformation fully saturated my body, soul and spirit until my words, actions, thoughts, character and heart blended with the wishes of the Lord. Thus, instead of being empty and damaged in my body, soul and spirit I was gradually filled and saturated with the life that the Lord blessed for me and my family to reach my salvation or my nirvana within my life time on this earth.

Finally, after receiving the benefits and values of my life, I have kept my prayers going and maintained my faith in the Lord in order to be nourished, supplied and guided to keep growing and maturing well as per the wishes of the Lord in this life.

In my fellowship with the Lord, my family and friends I am able to enjoy the fruits of my living in this world and I will continue to do this as long as I live.

I have reached 83 years of my living and my daily means of assurance of my salvation are the words of the Lord and I believe that while my words can be untrustworthy at times, the words and guidance of the Lord always remain certain and steadfast. What the Lord has been saying to me over the years as I was aging gracefully has never been a matter of conjecture because His words were never vague not intangible for me. His words come to me in multiple forms and keep reminding me to do the right things at all times as the child of the Lord. I have come to believe that God’s love and grace are eternal, God is righteous, God is strong, and God never changes. Now I understand that my salvation on this earth is like a rock and the joy of my salvation is like a delicate flower of my gardens that can easily be upset by a little breeze. Therefore, it is something I must always continue to cultivate and nourish to maintain my simple living and my daily joy.

Firstly, I know that confession of any sins I have committed unknowingly will make the Lord cleanse me. Secondly, I have come to a point in my life where I take the Lord’s words as my nourishing food that I continuously feed and feast on and these go to become the joy and rejoicing aspects of my heart and soul. Thirdly, I have strengthened the time, effort and ways of my prayers where my real prayers are not the recitation of familiar words and phrases but they are pouring out of my inner self with my heart and spirit to the Lord to release and enjoy.

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Finally, my greatest enjoyment, peace and prosperity as a simple human being is to feel good, do good, hear what is good and speak what is good. I feel good and happy when I praise the Lord and my fellow human beings. For me happiness has been letting go of what I assumed my life was supposed to be like right now and sincerely appreciating it for everything that it is today. At the end of the day of this short life before I close my eyes for good, I must put on my last smile to be at peace with where I have been in this world and be grateful for all that I was given to make my life all good.

My entire life was a pleasant journey and I never believed that it was a destination because it was up to me how I lived each day of this plain sailing and smooth living.

My life was exactly made up of experiences and rewards that I had planned for myself and I have no regrets whatsoever. I took control of my life the way I wanted to and the way Lord God let me go forward. These were some of the good reasons why I loved my life. I cannot go back and change the beginning but I surely can start and keep moving forward from where I am and change the ending. The only good thing to keep in my mind would be to go for it and just live my best life without any fear, worries and regrets. It does not have to make sense to others but make me happy. Mind you, I was not given a good life or a bad life but I was given a life and it became my task, duty and responsibility to make it good, bad, ugly or worth my living.

I found out the hard way that living a good life really was the best revenge and so I acknowledge that nothing can ruin my happiness if I do not grant anyone that power to do so. My teachers and ancestors have always said that a good life is when a person smiles often, has big and worthy dreams and visions for the future, laughs a lot and of course, realizes that how blessed he is for all that has been given to him. Therefore I took this short but pleasant life as a gift from God and never forgot to enjoy and bask in every moment I was in. Simply put my life was not about waiting for the storm to pass but it turned out to be learning how to dance in the rain. So in the end my life has taught me many things but the best lesson was never to expect anything from anyone. Seek and ye shall find.

I have travelled the world for one great reward and that was to extend my horizon, my knowledge and experiences to live this life even better. Consequently, my life became exactly my own life and I did not want anyone else to live my life for me.

So instead of letting my life events happen for me, I took control and got behind the wheel as a dexterous driver and sailor. This was the reason why I managed to live my life, enjoy the plain sailing and the good ride. If I was not able to find the needed joy and happiness in life I went along to make it happen for me. It was not what I looked at that mattered for me but it was what I could see in life to make it work for me. I often saw myself standing up boldly and confidently on the stage of life like good actors and gradually it became more and more clear for me that my life was getting not only interesting but it was definitely going to be pleasant and enjoyable. The notion that made be happy was that my life was limited to me, so I had to live it to the fullest 44

LIFE ON THE FARM I was born to bring better and brighter bargains in this life by being brave and bearer of no burdens for anyone. I believed in the concept of - if it is to be it is up to me. My early upbringing was on the farm of my parents but I was to make my world a rich plantation of truth, beauty and goodness on the alluvial soil of my life and living in one of the Pacific nations known as Fiji. I was confident, determined to move forward to get all the needed skills, talents and knowledge to lead my life the way I wanted it to be and no obstacles and difficulties would prolong my firm intentions. That was how I was motivated and inspired during my early growing up.

As I was growing up on the farm I came to know that the life and lifestyle of a farmer is a busy and hectic one. A lot of tasks and work are done and must be completed every day to achieve their ultimate goal. A day in the life on the farm starts very early. This is to do in order to finish tasks well and more quickly. Once they are ready, they prepare the tools and machinery they need for the day. If there are crop harvests to be done, they are usually done first for them to be delivered immediately while they are still freshly picked.

Multitasking is pretty normal for a farmer that is why a group of farmers are working on a farm and not just one person. After the harvest is finished, some people would work to pack the recently harvested crop while some would prepare the land by hoping for the afternoon’s planting. Occasional breaks are taken to rest and eat to have the necessary energy for the rest of the day. Their jobs are tiring, so taking breaks is essential for them. When I was on the farm I experienced a variety of routines that intrigued me. I admired the way my grandmother and mother conducted themselves to ensure that everyone on the farm was served and cared for. After the good and heavy breakfast very early in the morning the team departed to do the work that was in their allocation and my grandmother and mother together with my aunts got busy to prepare the items for morning tea and lunch. A lot of tasks are done within the day, for example, transplanting seedlings, checking the crops for insects or beetles, checking on their livestock, and many more.

A life on the farm may sound really tiring and full of effort but for these farmers, they are satisfied and fulfilled at the end of the day for they know that every work they do provides food for families around the world. There were tremendous economic difficulties associated with our farm life. First and foremost was overproduction. Because the amount of land under cultivation increased dramatically and new farming techniques produced greater and greater yields, the food market became so flooded with goods that prices fell sharply. While this might be great for the consumer, the farmer had to grow a tremendous amount of food to recoup enough profits to survive from the hardships..

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As time moved on new machinery and fertilizer were needed to farm on a large scale. Often farmers borrowed money to purchase this equipment, leaving themselves hopelessly in debt when the harvest came. The high tariff forced them to pay higher prices for household goods for their families, while the goods they themselves sold were unprotected. The railroads also fleeced the small farmer.

Farmers were often charged higher rates to ship their goods a short distance than a manufacturer would pay to transport wares a great distance.

A Harsh and Isolating Environment was always a problem for the farmers and there was very little they could do to fight the nature. The woes faced by the farmers transcended economics. Nature was unkind in many parts of the world. Blistering summers and cruel flooding were commonplace. Frequent drought spells made farming even more difficult. Insect and army worm blights raged through some regions, eating further into the farmers' profits.

Farmers lacked political power and politicians seemed to turn deaf ears to the farmers' cries. Social problems were also prevalent. With each neighbour on 60acre plots of land, communication was difficult and loneliness was widespread.

Farm life proved monotonous compared with the bustling city life. So the rural families on the farm were all alone in their difficulties. These conditions could not last. Out of this social and economic unrest, farmers began to organize and make demands that would rock the establishment. That was the power of unity of the Farmers’ Union.

When I was on the farm I loved to create a few poems for the family dinner sessions. Here is just one of them.

Spring, summer or autumn all come early, when you live on a farm.

There are many new born life and sounds on the farm Murga, the rooster was clucking and crowing.

"Come! Come! See, I have something worth showing."

The hens were gossiping and clucking a song.

Running to see whatever was wrong?

The horses were alerted and the goats were too.

The cows in the fields you can hear their "M-O-O-O".

Now that the animals have all gathered round.

"Tell us, Mr. Murga whatever have you found?"

Before this charming old Rooster could make a sound.

You heard the cries in the corner. Oh! were they loud!

Up popped a head as cute as can be.

Oh! No, I think that maybe there's three.

It seems that the farmer's daughter by the name of Miss Sharn.

She had her puppies in the barn last night around eight The puppies were cute and cuddly all right "Oh! Miss Sharn! your puppies are as precious as can be".

"What ever will you name them your litter of three".

"Thank you! Very kindly, Please! meet my pack of three".

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"Wili, Gili and little Mili to see, "I am as proud as can be of my little family".

The animals left happy and wished them all well.

Except for Mr. Murga he has a new story to tell That he does every morning at five by crowing like hell.

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MANAGING OUR DAILY LIFE During our lifetime we met with many people and a few crises which became our opportunities to ride along in life with care and control on some of the pleasant, smooth and enjoyable paths but there were a few that gave us more ideas and methodologies to manage our busy living even better. Then as we were growing up we learnt that a genuine smile and kind words will gain and give us many more years of better life. So while we needed to take careful stock of everything around us we never forgot to love, to laugh and to respect each other. In our house we always maintained that we were a family and tried our best to enjoy whatever was allocated to us by the Lord and these made us remain happy and content every day.

From our early days we learnt to wear a genuine smile while interacting with my people. We then began to plan our future activities well and with greater patience to experience even more success in life. We were told that a person who cannot tolerate small misfortunes can never accomplish great things so we learnt to increase our power of tolerance. We began to tolerate all of our misfortunes and gradually began to accomplish greater things in life. From then onwards we were never afraid of growing slowly or growing old gracefully, but we were afraid of standing still and doing nothing to waste our valuable time because we made our given time as our living style. We became pro-active and developed a positive mental attitude. We formed a habit to continuously question things in life and kept asking questions because we were told that he who asks too many questions may be regarded a fool for a few minutes but he who does not ask any questions in life will remain a fool forever. Therefore for us time management was vital for our progress and prosperity so an inch of our valuable time became a ton of gold for us because we knew that we could not ever buy that inch of our valuable time with all the tons of gold that we could get in life. We found out that it was better for us to light a candle than to curse the darkness. The candle that used to light became our habit of prayer that gradually cleared all the darkness from our living.

So from our early growing up we developed a love for books and go on a journey of useful discovery at every step that we took. Of course, then we tried our hands at writing in various genres of literature in English and our native language Hindi.

However, we firmly believed that it was better to be without a book than to believe what was written in a book entirely. We appreciated writings of authors critically. So books gave us a lot of useful knowledge for all our plans ahead. Books have held houses of gold and diamond for us and we never hesitate to increase our personal library in the home. Consequently we learnt that a little impatience would sometimes spoil our plans for the future so patience became our virtue. We never took patience as a bitter plant because for us the fruit it gave us was always sweet. We were also told that if we remained patient in all your moments of 48

anger, then we will escape a hundred days of sorrow. Ultimately these led us to peace, prosperity and progress in life that we wanted and looked for every day.

Sitting in our back yard we kept listening to the birds singing and we realized that the birds do not sing because they have some reasons or answers but they sing because they have a song to let others enjoy. We began to sing songs to let ourselves enjoy our life. This creativity began to govern and look after us and our family as if we were ever cooking a delicious meal. We never hesitated to listen well because for us listening well was as powerful as talking well and we found these two skills were very essential to true conversation. These kinds of learning experiences in life have been weightless treasure that we have been carrying all our life and enjoying them tremendously. We now know that one beam, no matter how strong it is it cannot support the entire house so we have established all the required beams for our family life to be strong and progressive because we wanted to live in a better home with good family feelings where there is happiness than a palace where one weeps for joy.

Final result of our meaningful living has been of great value to us. Our home is our temple where we pray every day as a family. This leads us to love everybody around us and be happy every day. In our daily activities we try our best to laugh a lot and respect one another, use kind words, tell the truth, be good and think, act and remain beautiful in all our deeds. The words such as please, thank you, excuse me, and sorry are used appropriately at all times. We believe in the ideas of – “if it is to be it is up to me, we can, never give up, keep our promises, be grateful and forgive even when it is hard to do so.”

All our teachers over the years have assisted us open the doors of knowledge for us but we had to learn to enter that home of knowledge by unlocking that important door of knowledge. These made us act wisely enough to make our own decisions rather than act like an ignorant person to follow the crowd. We did not want to be given a fish to feed us for a day or two but we learnt to go out fishing to get whatever we wanted to feed us for a lifetime. This gave us extra joy and taught us a lot of patience. Of course, the Lord has been our greatest saviour and guide and we thank Him for all His love and blessings.

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Meaning Of Life Over eighty four years have passed by It seems all in the blink of an eye, Moments of sadness, sorrows as well as joy All came to me in turn to enjoy.

People I loved and cherished Have come and have gone, But the world never stopped, I moved on and carried on.

This life was not that easy For many struggles were there, There were times that I was busy There were times I just did not care.

I tried to stand on my own, I tried to find my own ways, Some nights with tears shown I liked the dawn of new days.

Now I am living with old age, It has become quite clear; Things I once found on my home page Were not the reason why I was enjoying here.

There were many things I loved That I managed to buy and keep The best things that I approved I felt better inside and made the leap There were worries and fears That plagued me on some day In the end they all made my years I knew they would just fade away.

Aging was graceful and I reached out To many around me when I needed, That was the true measure to hang out That was how I succeeded.

I know how much I shared Of my soul and my heart I would ultimately be cared This will always set me apart.

What is really important for me now Are all my opinions I have of me 50

To whether or not I would see how I can be the best I can be.

I have enjoyed all the kindness I got I love to give back and show Before I am told I am on the dot That it is my time to go There is only one thing left to do now Maybe there is still time to do this now I have reached the top in my life However, reaching down to help others in life Let me help someone rise to the top Move in their life with a hop All the hard times in my life was worth it It was a preparation to help me keep doing it My life was a mixture of good, bad and ugly I appreciated all that I got doubly I have lived such a lucky and blessed life Now I am trying my best to deserve this life I have fallen in love with the processes of living The results have been good and worth the living There were a few regrets that bothered me But I was given the chance to choose and see Living my best life was my important journey in life If ever I failed I had no one to put to strife My life did not demand that I be the best I just had to do one thing and that was try my best I am living this life as best as I can choose I am not exempt from failures to make bad excuse My life was not about finding myself It was about carefully creating myself In all of my living I had much fun and laughter My life was to be enjoyed not just to chatter I did not need a long life but life that was enough to enjoy My whole life was a pleasant process not a state of being It was a direction and not a destination as seen I would only live here once to make the presence felt So I was out to live a good life and slowly melt So my life was a collection of pleasant memories I always believed that I could do things well This made me get there as fast as anyone could tell.

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MY LIFE THAT I LOVED Life has different definition in the eyes of different people. For many of us life is all about love. For a few, life is all about religious practices. For philosopher like Aristotle life is about happiness: For me happiness and love were the real meaning and the purpose of life.

No matter what job title you hold, how many zeroes you have in your pay check or where you came from, I know the true meaning of life can be summed up in one word: LOVE. Of course, from love springs service to the family and the community one lives in. However, love remains as a memory after death.

I believe we are all brought here on earth for a reason. As a child, I remember praying to God and asking, “Please use me, use my life to make a difference, to help others.” So I went forth to serve the community as a teacher and here I was still serving my family in a lot of ways.

My life treated me well throughout my more than eighty four long and fruitful years of living and I am fully satisfied and contented with everything that was given to me by Almighty and my family and friends. I loved the life I lived because I lived the life I loved. Although I have created multiple (70) visual and written presentations so far, I wish to write this final episode for the records so that when my loved ones do get the opportunity to read this they are able to fully understand the culture of my life and living that was my way.

The creative and pleasant as well as adventurous life of my family began when my grandparents, Sarju and Gangadei were deceitfully recruited by the specially trained Indian cunning recruiters hired by the British Colonialists and their partners the Colonial Sugar Refining Company of Australia who were managing sugar cane farms in the British Colony of Fiji in early 1905. My grandparents served their indentured days in the plantations of Matutu in the district of Nadroga from 1905 to 1915 together with other jahaji brothers and sisters such as Ram Badan Maharaj, Tularam, Ram Khelawan and their respective families. After serving double indentured contracts they were allowed to establish their own sugarcane and mixed farms on their own native or crown lands first in Natandola and then in the village of Botini in Nadi.

The difficult and adventurous living has been described by me in my original essay (Basti to Botini- My Roots) and also many other able authors who have thoroughly revealed the atrocities of those days of stark slavery and torture for selfish economic reasons. However, my objective here is altogether different where I aim to narrate the life we lived and the life we loved after my grandparents and parents established themselves as efficient farmers to make us achieve great things in life despite various difficulties and social, political, cultural and economic hardships and struggles.

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We were able to live our lives because we loved to live the way we were inspired, motivated and brought up to grow as individuals. My ancestors were hard workers and gave me one specific treasure of life. They instilled the courage in me to get rid of all kinds of fear because as they said, fear was the cause of all failures, obstacles and shortcomings in life.

When my grandparents moved to Botini they were allocated four plots of farming land because there were four adult males in the Sarju clan. My grandfather Sarju had three sons Hiralal, who was the eldest, the next was my father Bhagoati Prasad and the younger son was my uncle Chetram.

Hiralal was allocated the twenty acre farm land to the north of the central property and after getting married he established his own separate family with five children of his own; two sons- Shri Kant and Rama Kant, and three daughtersDamyanti, Dayawati and Saraswati.

My grandparents began living as an extended family with the rest of the children; six daughters- Ramraji, Dhiraji, Sukhraji, Mangali, Mahadei and Ramdei and the other two sons my father, Bhagoati Prasad and my uncle Chetram. They continued to do mixed farming on the other three plots of leased land. Gradually all my aunts got married and moved to live their own family lives.

My uncle Chetram got married and began cultivating the central property. He later migrated to Canada and lived with his children there. I met him in Idaho at my brother Vijend’s home when he was the only paternal hero still alive at age 90.

The property that my grandfather had as his own was given to one of his sons in law, Ram Prasad, husband of one of my aunt Mahadei and my father moved to his own piece of land to the south and established his farm where we all lived from 1953 onwards. So our own family life commenced at this 63 acre farm land where my father first built a large thatched house and then as affluence came to his life, two separate wood and iron buildings were constructed as the family got larger.

My father got married with the daughter of a farmer Balihari and his wife Kasturi from Diri in Nadroga and with my mother Ram Kumari they had nine children of their own. I was the eldest and they had my only brother Vijendra Prasad and seven sisters- Vidyawati, Shiumati, Sumanlata, Kushmawati, Upmadevi, Arunlata and Shobhna.

They all were married away when the time came for this traditional duty to be performed by my parents—Vidyawati to Lalchand (deceased) of Votualevu and they had three sons and three daughters. Shiumati got married to Tulsiram (deceased) of Waibogi in Sigatoka and they had three sons and a daughter.

Sumanlata was married to Dhirend of Samabula and they moved to USA and had one daughter. Kushmawati got married to Vijay Singh of Nausori and had a son and three daughters. Upmadevi was married to Bisundutt of Barara and moved to Nadera in Suva. They too had two sons and a daughter. Arunlata was married to Puran of Suva and moved to New Zealand where they had a son and two daughters. However, Shobhna became the notorious in her own way and made a mess of her life after her marriage to Ram Lochan of Nasinu who migrated to USA 53

with his two daughters leaving Shobhna stranded in Fiji who converted the Will of our parents to her advantage illegally and then losing the property to God knows who. Later in life she too moved to USA. Vijendra Prasad got married to Nirmala (deceased) and they had two sons, Sanjay and Manish. Vijen worked as successful marketing personnel with Air Pacific and then went on to manage his own Fiji Travel in USA. He retired and enjoys his life as a successful businessman in Boisie Idaho USA. I finished my primary education at Sabeto Indian School in 1953 and went to Natabua Secondary for my high school education until the end of 1957. I completed my Junior, Senior and UE certificates there and then after my professional preparation at Nasinu Teachers College (1958-1959) I began teaching in 1960 in schools in Vanualevu Fiji and got married to Saroj my college colleague in 1964.

Then we began living with my parents for a year in Botini while we were teaching at Sabeto Primary School before moving to Navua. It is here that my first child was born. Praanesh was born at 4.30am on 6th March 1965 at Morrison Maternity Unit of CWM hospital in Suva where Dr D.J. Lancaster an expert gynaecologist was in attendance. Our first child was a forceps delivery and the mother and child were ably cared by sister Pushpa. At birth he was 22 inches long and weighed 7lb 7 oz.

Life and living in Navua opened up a lot of opportunities for us and the family life really began with intense interest. We bought our first property and built our home in Lami and our other children Praneeta, Harshita and Rohitesh were all born at CWMH in Suva while we served as teachers in Navua. Upon our transfer to Suva we began living in our own home in Lami and advanced our professional life by completing more appropriate tertiary qualifications.

Praneeta our second child was born on 30th June, 1967 on Friday at 9.10 in the morning and weighed 7 lb 14 oz at birth and 23 inches long. Harshita our third child was born on Sunday 29th September, 1968 at 10.37 am. She weighed 8 lb 2 oz at birth and measured 21 inches long. Rohitesh our last child was born at 1.56 pm on Wednesday 29th September 1971 weighing 6lb 2 ounces and measuring 19 inches long. All our children were looked after by Dr Lancaster at Morrison Maternity Unit of CWMH in Suva.

We found that although the birth order of our children had reasonable influence on their overall development we as teachers did our best to ensure that each child had a decent upbringing and growth because we raised all of them in the same way. We let our eldest child act as a leader and being the first born although he got a lot of our focus, developmental opportunities and attention none of our other children was given anything less in their overall development. Being the first born he was often called upon to help his younger siblings.

We as teachers had the professional knowledge of child development and were careful not to give different focus and attention or stimulation for mental, social and physical development of our children. We ensured that the time, care, focus and attention given to each of our children were the same. So we made sure that 54

all of them were assisted to develop their various thinking skills such as cognitive, creative, analytical, critical, analytical, abstract, concrete, divergent, convergent, sequential and holistic thinking in the way.

We took caution to plan our family as far as age gaps, gender balance and family size were concerned. We were mindful of various family dynamics and ensured that neither the birth order nor the age and gender should be any hindrance in the overall development of our four well-spaced and professionally assisted children.

As our children grew up and as they each had equal opportunities to develop and so when they reached their adulthood we were proud with their overall achievements and contributions at home, at school and in the community. Today each one of them is equally bestowed with their own success stories and valuable family life and I am proud to be their father.

My life progressed and I had prospered in all my work and family life. Today when I am no more I have no regrets whatsoever because I had everything I wanted in life. I did not life this life like it was just another day but I lived it like it was my last day on this earth. I often spoke to my soul and said that it may be tired, fed up or close to breaking down but I always as able to assure my soul that there was enough strength within me to keep going even when I was feeling weak. So I thank the Lord for all these. I thank you O Lord for all that You have given me; the life I have lived, the food that I have eaten and the life that my loved ones have enjoyed. Lord God keep helping us all to live our days with thankful hearts and loving ways.

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OUR FARMING DAYS At the top of a hill close to the stream and river line Our ancestors established their farm so big and fine We grew up on that farm where our life was full of fun I now have fond memories of those happy days of fun On our farm we played in the dirt lived without any hurt We counted the stars at night had no worries from start We did our daily chores and jumped on the hay bales We built our character and learnt to respect the vales We were a family ready to spread our wings every where Roots established on the farm we had strong bond there We lived a simple life and shared things around our kind We had faith in God and our people and had a clear mind All the love, faith, charity and hope that were the family’s yields They grew like healthy crops like smile and laughter in our fields Days were spent with joy and at night the crops covered the plain No matter what the hearts and soul always on the farms remained It was a home where the heart could laugh without any worries It was where the tears of the heart could dry at their own stories On that home of the farmers we always put our family first you know Gave hugs and kisses to friends, family members and the animals also We often said ‘I love you’ and helped others with our simple living there We worked hard, played harder, had faith in our abilities to do our share Words like ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ were always on all our lips and daily We lived within our harvests to cultivate and loving one another fully Our grandparents told us that the world will need a farmer everyday More than we would need a doctor, a lawyer or a policeman any day It was during my school holidays in the hot summer day The bright sun was setting and I had a few hours to play So I walked in the woods nearby and followed the stream Taking time to make time for myself and get into my dream I came to an old cabin with a garden and a barn of the farm There lay the memories of the past life that held more charm Those were the gardens that my ancestors had planted once They were right out the back door and can be seen at a glance I felt peaceful and safe as I kept watching the sun going down Wishing I could go back and bring those old days back around To do it the old way and to have and enjoy all the charm That I felt when I stumbled upon those yesterday’s Farm.

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MY ANCESTORS WERE FARMERS My ancestors were farmers and were called to be the artists of this land Kings may rule over land and sea but they were there by Almighty’s hand They worked their fields to care as their own to call the farmsteads home Kings live right royally but they were there to feed the world of this zone Their crops sprang forth before their eyes when they looked to the skies Writers think, poets sing, doctors heal but they were to work and be wise They gave thanks for every gently falling rain for good growing of their grain Their trade was worthy and the pastures flourished with the sun and the rain They heeded the Lord’s call to farm their ground with His blessings abound Blessed as men who planted crops for fruit and raised animals on the ground Their miracles surround us with fields so lush that need painting with brush Their wallets were heavy; hearts were right and their cattle and corn plush

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BELIEFS OF MY FATHER AS A FARMER My father was a great man and he had his creed for farmers His greatest pride was his dignity and his respect for farmers He believed that hard work and honest sweat make farmers It is an honourable way we all can make life as good farmers He believed that farming nurtured his family ties on the earth He believed that his children leant good values of life on earth He believed that farming provided the greatest knowledge for life Farming teaches so much about birth, growth and maturity in life He believed that the best things in life are indeed free and useful Splendour of a sunrise, the rapture of the open space is also useful So is the exhilarating sight of our land and its greenings each season Joy comes from watching the crops ripen in the fields each season Our children grow tall in the sun and our whole family feels the pride The experiences we gather as good farmers give us our greatest ride By his toil he was giving a lot more to the world than he was taking This was the pride and honour that does not come to anyone living He believed that his life will be ultimately measured by his actions His fellow humans will appreciate all his farming deeds and actions He believed that when human beings grow old and sum up the days They should stand tall with pride in every move made in their ways My father believed in all these aspects of farming as the possibilities He made the best use of the land that was allocated for his capabilities

My Ancestors

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WORDS OF WISDOM During our lifetime we met with many people and a few crises which became our opportunities to ride along in life with care and control on some of the pleasant, smooth and enjoyable paths but there were a few that gave us more ideas and methodologies to manage our busy living. Then as we were growing up we learnt that a genuine smile and kind words will gain and give us many more years of better life. So while we needed to take careful stock of everything around us we never forgot to love laugh and respect each other. In our house we always maintained that we were a family and tried our best to enjoy whatever was allocated to us by the Lord and wore a genuine smile while interacting with the people. These attributes made us remain happy every day.

I then began to plan my future activities well and with greater patience to experience even more success in life. I was told that a person who cannot tolerate small misfortunes can never accomplish great things so I learnt to increase my power of tolerance. I began to tolerate all of my misfortunes and gradually began to accomplish greater things in life. From then onwards I was never afraid of growing slowly or growing old, but I was afraid of standing still. I became proactive and developed a positive mental attitude. I formed a habit to continuously question things in life and kept asking questions because I was told that he who asks too many questions may be regarded a fool for a few minutes but he who does not ask any questions in life will remain a fool forever. For me time management was vital for my progress and prosperity so an inch of my valuable time became a ton of gold for me because I knew that I could not ever buy that inch of my valuable time with all the tons of gold that I could get. I found out that it was better for me to light a candle than to curse the darkness. The candle that used to light became my habit of prayer that gradually cleared all the darkness from my living.

From my early growing up I developed a love for books and then tried my hands at writing in various genres of literature in English and my native language Hindi. But I believed that it was better to be without a book than to believe what was written in a book entirely. I appreciated writings of authors critically. However, books gave me a lot of useful knowledge for my plans ahead. Books have held houses of gold and diamond for me. I learnt that a little impatience would sometimes spoil my plans for the future so patience became my virtue. I never took patience as a bitter plant because for me the fruit it gave me was always sweet. I was told that if you are patient in all your moments of anger, then you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.

Sitting in my back yard I kept listening to the birds singing and I realized that the birds do not sing because they have some reasons or answers but they sing because they have a song to let others enjoy. I began to sing all my life and 59

governed and look after my family as if I was cooking a delicious meal. I never hesitated to listen well because for me listening well was as powerful as talking well and I found these two skills very essential to true conversation. These kinds of learning experiences in life have been weightless treasure that I have been carrying all my life and enjoying them tremendously. I now know that one beam, no matter how strong will not be able to support the entire house so I have established all the required beams for my family life to be strong and progressive because I wanted to live in a better home with good family feelings where there is happiness than a palace where one weeps for joy.

My teachers, my family members, my friends and colleagues kept opening the doors of knowledge for me but I had to enter that home of knowledge. Patience was the key to my growing up because if I was calm and collected in my dispositions then I knew that I would be able to escape many days of sorrow and sadness in this life. While attending my primary school I was once angered for I had no shoes. Then not far from our home I met an old man who had no feet. I made a point in my life to see that the old man had a comfortable life while he was living.

I knew and understood that a wise person always makes his own decisions and whenever I made my decisions to help others I did not want to be like that ignorant person who follows the crowd.

I was told that by giving a person a fish I would feed him for a day or two but if I taught a person how to fish I would be able to feed him for a lifetime. Therefore I always thought that guessing right can be cheap but guessing wrong can be expensive. Consequently, I never thought that I was too old to set another goal in life or to develop a new vision or to dream a workable dream. I knew that I would face some defeats in my life but I never let myself to be defeated easily. My everyday may not have been good but I managed to find that there was something good and worthy in everyday that I lived. I have lived my life with my family to the fullest because I have been focussing on the positives of my living. Our life has been like a mirror and when we smiled at it then it never forgot to smile back at us.

To love and live this enjyable, peaceful and pleasant life we have managed to let go of those people, places and things that stressed us, embraced those who blessed us , cherished those who we loved, were kind to those around us, gave our best to all those who needed us, prayed for those who assisted us, forgave those who hurt us and had faith in the powers of the Supreme Being who never left our side.

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THIS HUMAN LIFE HAD MULTIPLE MYSTRIES FOR ME I have often wondered why we are living in this world and what the purpose of our living is. I was told by my ancestors that there are at least six keys to solve this mystery.

Firstly, I believe that when I was born, God had a definite plan for me. I was told that if I trusted Him then He would always have firm desires to express for my good and healthy living. So as I grew up I put myself in the company of those god-loving people that not only had faith in the powers of the Supreme Being but had trust on all His love and blessings. Consequently, I learnt to pray regularly for His love and blessings to be spread on all my future ways and routes. He never let me down when I learnt that as a glove is made to fit into the hand so also I as human beings was made in the image of God to contain Him. Therefore, by receiving God as His content I was always loved and blessed appropriately by Him. Secondly, I was also told that to fulfil His plan God made me as a vessel which had three parts namely my body, my soul and my spirit. My body kept contacting and receiving things from the physical realm, my soul which was my mental faculty kept contacting and receiving things from the psychological realm and my spirit which was my innermost part kept contacting and receiving God Himself. Therefore, I believe that I was created not merely to eat, live and sleep but to get the appropriate knowledge from the scriptures to enrich my body, mind, soul and spirit. This I was able to do with the help of my parents, grandparents and other gurus.

Thirdly, I was told that I had to be careful not to fail as an honest, good and beautiful person and unknowingly fall from the path of life as a human being from my duties and responsibilities. Before I could receive God’s spirit as part of my life, there was a possibility that I could be confronted by the Satan or the Devil to get into various kinds of sins. In order to avoid this situation and save me from deadening my body, soul and spirit I had to take appropriate actions to keep receiving the love and blessings of God through my prayers.

Nevertheless, my expected falls from the paths in life as a human being did not materialise because it did not deter God from fulfilling His original plan to love, bless and guide me. God entered into my soul as Lord Krishna and Lord Rama or Lord Vishnu because I kept reciting the Bhagvad Gita, 61

Ramayan and Vishnu Puran. The more I got into my family life and the more I kept my religious values alive the more I was able to protect my body, my soul and my spirit and lead a humanistic life that was far from all false traditional practices, hypocrisy, pretence and sectarianism. Gradually I was led not to be bogged down in any specific religion but live a life of a simple human being who believed in what he did and said.

Consequently, since all these human values of truth, beauty and goodness began working to maintain my body, soul and spirit, the powers of the Supreme Being began to regenerate me and my family into an acceptable human being in the community where I worked, served and made my other social, financial and cultural contributions. I knew that to make my life better I had to make sure that I did not do anything that would make me a sinner and even if they did I had to repent and ask for forgiveness which I never forgot to perform. To be regenerated, I simply went to the Lord with an open and honest heart to thank Him and ask Him to cleanse me from my sins by coming into me and filling me with His continuous love and blessings.

I was told that after my regeneration, sincere repentance and my continued faith in the powers of the Supreme Being, the Lord would strengthen the blessing and loving processes by spreading Himself into my body, soul and spirit to transform me. This transformation fully saturated my body, soul and spirit until my words, actions, thoughts, character and heart blended with the wishes of the Lord. Thus, instead of being empty and damaged in my body, soul and spirit I was gradually filled and saturated with the life that the Lord blessed for me and my family to reach my salvation or my nirvana within my life time on this earth.

Finally, after receiving the benefits and values of my life, I have kept my prayers going and maintained my faith in the Lord in order to be nourished, supplied and guided to keep growing and maturing well as per the wishes of the Lord in this life. In my fellowship with the Lord, my family and friends I am able to enjoy the fruits of my living in this world and I will continue to do this as long as I live.

I have reached 83 years of my living and my daily means of assurance of my salvation are the words of the Lord and I believe that while my words can be untrustworthy at times, the words and guidance of the Lord always remain certain and steadfast. What the Lord has been saying to me over the years as I was aging gracefully has never been a matter of conjecture because His words were never vague not intangible for me. His words come to me in multiple forms and keep reminding me to do the right things at all 62

times as the child of the Lord. I have come to believe that God’s love and grace are eternal, God is righteous, God is strong, and God never changes.

Now I understand that my salvation on this earth is like a rock and the joy of my salvation is like a delicate flower of my gardens that can easily be upset by a little breeze. Therefore, it is something I must always continue to cultivate and nourish to maintain my simple living and my daily joy.

Firstly, I know that confession of any sins I have committed unknowingly will make the Lord cleanse me. Secondly, I have come to a point in my life where I take the Lord’s words as my nourishing food that I continuously feed and feast on and these go to become the joy and rejoicing aspects of my heart and soul. Thirdly, I have strengthened the time, effort and ways of my prayers where my real prayers are not the recitation of familiar words and phrases but they are pouring out of my inner self with my heart and spirit to the Lord to release and enjoy. Finally, my greatest enjoyment, peace and prosperity as a simple human being is to feel good, do good, hear what is good and speak what is good. I feel good when I praise the Lord and my fellow human beings.

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TITS AND BITS OF MY LIFE MY COLLECTION OF POEMS My Mother- My Lady With the Lamp

My mother never went to school but she was well informed She knew the family life well and was never alarmed Her hands held me gently from the day I took my first breath Her hands helped to guide me as I took my first step on earth She held me close when the tears would start to fall She was quick to show me that she would take care of it all Always there to brush my hair or straighten a wayward bow She was there to comfort the hurts that did not always show As if she held the stars in place and encouraged me to reach Her lullaby about the moon made me sleep on the beach She would clap and cheer and praise when I woke up again I had fun in her reign she would stop me from heavy rain She pulled me all danger and from all the harmful way She would punctuate the world and just do what I say My mother was my lady with the lamp to guide me all the way Nothing would stop her to do her duties for me in my way She sometimes had to discipline to help bend this young tree She would shape and mould me into all she knew I could be Her hands were twisting with age and years of work I saw This time I had to reciprocate to make up for what I awe She needed the same gentle touch to rub away those hurts I did my best to make her feel well during the last days of hers I know that her hands were more beautiful than anything can be Her hands are the reason I am doing well and I am me 65

You were a wonderful mother so gentle and strong The ways you showed your care always made me feel I belong You were all patient whenever I was foolish silly You gave me the guidance when I asked freely You could do anything as the mistress of every task You always gave me the comfort and cushion as mask Now that you are gone, I love you more than you know My total love and respect for all you asked me to know I am leading my life as you wanted it to be, thank you mum All I am going to say that I have taken your life in total sum If I had my choice of my mother in the next life You would be the one I would select together with my wife

MY GRANDMOTHER

A great lady in her own right was my grandmother A pillar of strength for the family was my grandmother While she lived she was our best support and guide She taught us all she knew and never thought to hide She knew how to treat us and make us look good Grandmother you were kind, loving and always good We never left her home with empty belly She would feed us with the best meal for the belly She was fond of her bear hugs and saying I love you The only thing we could say now we dearly miss you She touched our hearts and always blessed us Her prayers and songs were real treasures for us 66

Loaded with silver jewellery she did all the cooking We stole the sweets when she was not looking Great in the home and even greater in the yard She helped grandpa look after the farm and the yard No task was difficult for her for she was an active lady My grandmother was a friend and a great lady She is gone but not forgotten and lives in our heart She was sent to be with us from the very start My best time was when I listened to her stories I now know that they were all made up stories All her stories were full of morals for us to remember She wanted truthful, good and beautiful things to remember If we call her our Angel we will be absolutely right She made us feel proud, honour and full of bright light Where would we find another such treasure in our life She is gone but not forgotten and she lives in our life 000 There are times in our life that the best thing we can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine and not even obsess but just breathe and have faith that everything will work out for the best.

000 Our mission in life should not be merely to survive but to thrive and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some commitment, some humour and some special style.

000 Let us not try to change people but try to make a realistic decision about where they fit in in our life based on who they are not who we want them to be.

000

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MY GRANDFATHER-A MAN OF ALL SEASONS

His steps were short like mine in those days I walked with him holding his hands during those days He never asked me to hurry up or walk faster For his love for me was deep, sounder and full of laughter

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My Hero-My Father

My father was a truly amazing man full of wise words He was kind, considerate and rich with right rewards Being a son of a farmer he was a vegetarian of a kind His thoughts were full of wisdom, a man of right mind My Dad was a very simple man and was always kind Often he would know what was going in my little mind I admired him because of his suggests and defends He listened and cared for me as did my best friends He was proud of my triumphs but when I got wrong He was patient, helpful and above all very strong All that I say and do my father’s words play a big part There is always a big place for him deep in my heart Years go by and times do pass I am even more glad I am grateful and proud to honour him as my Dad He was in the sun, the wind, the rain and the land He is still in the air I breath that makes me stand He always sang those songs of hope and cheer That often took all my pain and I never had any fear I keep seeing him in the sky and the clouds above He keeps whispering his words of wisdom and love He was a real gift from God Almighty for a child like me No matter what good or bad I did, he was always with me 69

He taught me how to walk, talk and lead my way His patience and understanding were so good I say His unconditional love would never see any end As I got older he became like my good old friend Sensitive to my needs, he had a special touch No wonder why I honour and love my Dad so much God took the strength of a mountain, the majesty of a tree He took the warmth of the summer sun and the calm of the sea He mixed the generous soul of nature and comforting arm of night The wisdom of the ages and the power of the eagle’s flight Joy of the morning of spring and the faith of the mustard seed The patience of eternity and the depth of the family need It was the combination of all these qualities and nothing more to add God knew that His masterpiece was complete so He called him my Dad As his eldest son I was privileged to be part of this great man I have always been proud to share my life with this unique man

My Father and My Only Brother Vijen with me in 1968 000 Even the greatest like Alexandra The Great was once a beginner so we should not be afraid to take that important first step to become great in life.

000

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MY SCHOOL DAYS Although the memories of my school yards are distant They are enticement of songs I still love to sing Teachers, classrooms and colleagues are now distant But a pleasant string of slide shows they always bring The tentative first steps into the primary school The fear that rolled in to me to make me a fool The visit of the health sister for that needed injection I ran home in fear but returned to correct the situation The love of my last day to move on to high school My high school was an experience that was so cool Sitting shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip paying attention Any deviation from the norm could easily bring detention At this age it all felt as comforting as an embrace I fondly recall my teachers that inspired me with grace With their humour, knowledge, intellect and wisdom The lessons came alive to make our learning a kingdom Years flew and high school days ended to move forward College was the next institution of fun and for going onward These were the greatness and enjoyment of my youth there Just the fact of how well I mixed with my peers there Enjoying the swing on the dance floor with the love of my life She was in my class and then gradually rolled into my life I now remember the memories well but miss them all The lovely days of the old school yards are a great recall Those good moments are echoing through my life now They gave me happiness and made me grow

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Too Early To Be In School It was early morn when Rama was sent to school His eyes opened like the door of the nearby pool His ears tuned to all the noise in the play ground He was not sure why he was there this time round His belly was full and neck all stretched up to see The classroom where he was supposed to be His hair on his head stood as if he had some fear His bag had his lunch box, books and other gear His clothes were neatly placed thanks to his mother He had no shoes on the feet that was not to bother His teacher was talking but he could not hear a word He could not read whatever was written on the board He was asked to sit on the bench beside a pretty little girl He did not feel good but admired the hairy curl of the girl His ears had cotton buds to save him from all the pain He was looking outside to enjoy the beauty of the rain School was not the place to be for Rama at this time He was not ready to read, write or hear the chime He wanted to be home to play, sing and make fun To shoot the flying doves and birds with his toy gun He wondered why he was sent to this prison like place Where there were no priests who could say the grace Rama stands up and walks fast to the door to run home This is not the time for him to be there but stay home

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MY PRAYER O Lord God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; Taking, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; So that I may be reasonably happy in this life And supremely happy with You forever in the future.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow and preach love, Where there is injury, let me practice pardon Where there is doubt, let my faith be stronger Where there is despair, let me seek hope, Where there is darkness, let me bring light, Where there is sadness, let me find joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek To be consoled as to console, Not so much to be understood as to understand, Not so much to be loved, as to love; For it is in giving that we receive, It is in pardoning that we are pardoned, It is in our honest and good living That we awake to eternal life.

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FREE AT LAST Do not grieve for me when I am gone for then I will be free I will be following the path that the Lord chose for me you see I was happy to take His hand when I heard Him call me I could not face the people who were so good and helpful to me I left them all immediately for I could not stay another day I had no time to laugh, to love, to work or live this life and play Any tasks left undone and unfinished they must stay that way Let others finish them I found my peace at the close of the day If my parting has created a void fill it with memories of my joys There are still many events that this old man likes and enjoys I shared a lot of friendship, laughter and many blessings of bliss I will be gone but these are some of the things I too will miss I do not want anyone to be burdened with times of sorrow I would love to see that you all enjoy the sunshine of tomorrow My life has been full and complete and I savoured much I had good friends, pleasant times and grand family touch This short life gave me time that seemed all too very brief But I do not want to lengthen it now with any undue grief I want you all to lift up your hearts and attain peace with thee The Lord has called me now and He is ready to set me free So remember me if you can with smiles and blessings not tears Do not let all the joys and good deeds I did through all the years Just be happy to recall the closeness that was ours for many years Treasure the love and affection like the fragrance of the flowers Do not dwell on thoughts that cause us any pain, I am at peace I want you all to believe this was my time I had to leave in peace I am in heaven and love the view from here and feel you all near I will follow you throughout the rest of life with blessings from here When the Lord calls you we will be right at my side here with me Till then I will wait at the door of heaven uniting people and me

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MY POETIC CONCLUSIONS What my readers have read, seen and experienced in these creations They are some of my life stories in poetic form coming with variations These are the openings in the paths that I have followed without fuss I have lost some of my loved ones who were a great inspiration for us My life and living provided me with many opportunities that I grabbed Life was beautiful to admire and a dream to realize, bliss when tabbed When challenges piled up and duties arose they had to be completed When life was looking like a game I had to promise to fulfil as needed Sorrows and pains, sweet songs of joy and struggles had to be endured Any tragedies that rolled in acceptance with confrontation was needed I had to dare all adventures and make this precious life a bed of roses My life was a life of a man who was always ready to fight for discloses The quieter I became in my daily living the more I could hear and digest When I thought of life I always remembered the ideas from my digest No amount of guilt could ever solve the past problems that existed No amount of anxiety could change the future plans that existed I have reached a safe place in life where peace and harmony are my priority I deliberately avoid certain people, places and things that are not my priority I do these to protect me and my family from mental, emotional and spiritual state I know and believe that nothing is permanent not even our problematic state The days I was most uncomfortable were when I learnt most about myself Things I loved most about the past are the thoughts that I treasure about myself While I could not control the negative behavior of others I could control how long I tolerate that conduct of others Often I found that the people around me did not understand my journey I felt that they did not need to because it was not their journey When we run away from our fears they control us, I knew All kinds of fear were acts of courage for me, I knew Facing the fears that bothered me was an opportunity for growth Not facing it head on was increasing its growth After so many ups and downs I faced in this world I realized that peace of mind was more important than all else in the world I became selective in my battles of life because I had the might I knew and understood that peace was better than being right.

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LIFE AFTER DEATH We can assume that there is no life after death Who came back to tell that there is life after death When the heart stops and the soul reaches Nirvana It is the end of this life and all our living drama The soul goes to spend eternity with God and you There is no greed, no hate but peace beyond blue There are no battles to fight only heaven’s lights Glory of God will bind the soul with pleasant sights Death is a separation from earthly view and the people It is inevitable for every birth to reach death for people Greatest conquerors have failed to conquer the death Without any notice the devastating day brings death Death would be nothing at all for the departed soul We only slip away to another world where life is whole Loved ones grieve for a while but carry on with their life As if nothing has changed with their old ways and life So let us laugh and joke as usual and enjoy life together Play, smile and think of me but pray for my soul and me Let my name never be the household word in any weather Let us speak of only those good times that I spent with thee Life should still mean all that it ever meant and felt like for us Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight for us When I am gone all will be well, nothing should hurt nothing lost One brief moment and all will be the as it was before I got lost Time is too slow for those who wait too swift for those who fear If we grieve it can be too long so let us rejoice and have no fear After my death to my final destination there will be no ceremony I believe that for those who have truly loved, their time is eternity The sun, the moon and the stars never die but we certainly do When the human heart stops, the soul merges with them too Many have said that there is life after death but I do not agree In this life I was cremated a thousand times never to return I agree My poetries make me resurrect and live freely in this world Time and again I felt I was free from all crime in this world 000 All our aspirations gradually become our possibilities.

000

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MY DEPARTURE This was my long and pleasant living on the life of swings Now it is time to depart from those bonds of this earth So that my soul can dance with the planets with my wings Skywards I have climbed and have joined the great mirth Of the heavens to meet my salvation to do a hundred thing I had not dreamed of this resting place of peace since birth High in the heaven with sunlit sky and the silence there I have touched the serene winds of heaven coming through Happily moving through the holy place with the clean air Up and above the wide, mighty and glorious sky so blue I have toppled the windswept heights with easy grace While with the silent and freely lifting mind I begin to trod The highest trespassed sanctity of cooler and calmer space Finally I put out my hand and have touched the face of God I have found peace not by remembering the circumstances of life But by realizing who I am at the deepest level of my life When my ego said once everything falls into place I will be at peace My spirit said go find peace and everything will fall into place I have developed a habit that fits my nature I often take a quiet walk with Mother Nature This nurtures me, my mind, my body and my soul Until I cross the bridge of my insecurities I cannot explore my soul I know that tomorrow is never promised to any one So I go on to prioritize my today accordingly as goal number one I know that one tree can start a forest One smile can begin a friendship that is best One hand is enough to raise our soul One word is enough to frame a goal One candle can wide out any darkness in the room One laugh can conquer a lot of gloom One hope can raise our spirit One tender touch can show us that we care a bit One life of ours can make a lot of difference If we can be that one today it will make a lot of difference.

000 Let us do the best we can until we know better. Then, when we know better, let us begin to do better.

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MY ADMIRATION FOR INSPIRATION Where the larks or even the eagles never flew there I flew The beauty that I saw many in my company could not see All the things of beauty were real joys for me to chew As I grew in life the loveliness of living increased for me Life was full of sweet dreams and the drums kept playing While I went to make the dreams come true I kept dancing Many good things came for healthy living and safe breathing A flowery band of wellness entered the heart for wreathing Such was the grandeur of this life to fade the gloomy days The fountain of immortal drink kept pouring in my ways For all these comfort and kindness I have only my admiration These are my rationale for praying to get all my inspiration If I should die and leave this world now I will not worry at all If there are unfinished tasks to comfort others I will recall We are created in the image of God so we are peaceful God lives within us as the light and we are peaceful We can answer to the goodness of all others We can live a simple life and share it with others So let us set peace in our mind as our highest goal Then organize our life around it like a good soul Wherever we go today let us carry the intention of peace Love for others and harmony of all in our heart at ease Happiness will not come if we fail to appreciate what we already have Even as a solid rock is unshaken by the wind so are the wise with what they have So let us set our heart on doing good to others with joy Do this over and over again and again to be filled with joy Mind you our one pleasant moment can change our day That one good day can change our life I must say One good life of ours can change this world Make us happy to enjoy the life safely in this world Some people threw dirt in my yard and I did not mind I made that my garden to plant flowers of all kind So before I think of giving up any of my efforts to progress I will think twice about how far I would have gone in my progress.

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A GREAT HUMAN WORLD This being the human world it is a great place to dwell Every minute new arrival happen for population to swell Feeling of joy, depression, pain, sorrow and many others Some other momentary awareness comes as smoothers We are unexpected visitors welcomed and entertained here We freely give and take whatever is given to us as a gift here Even if we are a crowd of angels or criminals we can live here The beauty of this world is where everyone enjoys life here The dark thought, the shame, the malice are all accepted here People are greatly grateful for whatever they are given here I join the people and love to share what is offered here I sincerely appreciate all the things that I have received here In our life nowadays it is sometimes so easy for us to be focused on our dreams and goals that we tune out from all other things. We can get to the point where we are going to be happy and at peace with our living until we begin to see things changing. However, if we have to have those things that go on to make us happy and peaceful and they do not come to us we feel out of balance and frustrated. So when our goals and dreams start to frustrate us, we lose our peace and do not enjoy our life. This then gives us a clear sign that we are that we are holding on to things too tightly. Then we should find a solution to release all that and hand over your life to God. Freedom will definitely come to us when we do this because the Lord knows your desires and what are best for you. We just have to choose God and trust Him and He will find time, place and opportunities to be with you.

When we properly learn to be content with whatever we have and whatever the circumstance then this takes away the power of any negativity or external enmity to avoid all forms of frustrations because we have placed our faith and trust in God. Therefore when we choose to trust His timing for His actions, you begin to live in peace with your life and enjoy life to the fullest knowing that He has good things for you in the future. If today we can find total freedom in our contentment then our life and living can easily rest in everlasting peace and harmony. Let us remember to keep praying for His blessings. O Lord God today and every day I choose to trust you for releasing all my frustrations and helping me to attain my goals and dreams of life because You know what is best for me. I always choose to trust your timing for all the blessings that I will require to lead a pleasant life. O Lord, keep your powerful hands of blessing upon me, my family and friends.

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LIVING OF A PERSON LIKE ME I feel I am a person as well living a life that is a gift of the Lord I have come a long way from my birth and I thank the Lord Some days I feel very good but other days put me in bed again Life becomes a real gift when we wake up each morning again The sun comes out, the wind blows and we want our next meal The days of our life end and we rejoice as if this is no big deal I have been kind, considerate and have been showing courtesy Yet there were a few times when I got some knocks on my head Our life is such a complex issue that we do spend in uncertainty I was fortunate to get the love and blessing of my people instead Manners make us live as humans with truth, beauty and goodness Manners are traffic lights of life that show we care with kindness I have talked a lot with people and even joked a lot when around I was well aware of all my words, deeds, actions and every sound At work and in our home we were like a loving family full of care We liked each other, tried to be happy every day to enjoy to share We laughed in life and liked to respect and honour one another When we treated others with respect life and living got smoother I keep in mind never to forget that I am a person with hope too My bones do get stiff and achy; I do feel the pains and aches too The Lord dishes me good cards to play in life and I did my prayers My life was not easy to live in style but I age gracefully in all affairs I have lived lively life just like every other happy person on earth I travelled, I marveled and worked long hours for my real worth Now I press my headlight to see my face to be in good company I keep looking inside my heart and soul and realize that it is me I wish I was able to communicate more clearly in some better way So I would get that opportunity to say what I always wanted to say 000 The best parts about this life are multiple but the one worth noting is that every morning we have a new opportunity to become a happier version of ourselves.

000 Our greatest strength in life is how calmly, quietly and peacefully we can face this life.

000

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CLAIM OF MY BONES Over the years whatever my bones knew about me was the truth It was nothing but the best message for me nothing short of truth These bones are mine whenever they creak, moan, whine or dine The marrow has no match with anyone else because it is just mine There is one definite thing that I can claim about the bones though They are mine and are so kind to abandon nothing but let me grow I live with my bones because there interred are all my good deeds All feelings that are evil and cruel for them marrow has no needs My bones are there to provide the structure and protect my organs They anchor my muscles and store the calcium for good performance I want to build strong and healthy bones in order to protect my health My bones keep telling me that I must look after myself and all my wealth My bones keep claiming from me to take steps to protect future losses Plenty of calcium, Vitamin D, physical actions but no substance abuses I do not let people pull me into their storm any more Instead I pull them into my peaceful living more and more This is how I have found my good and proper living style Now I am able to calm my mind and everything comes together in style I now know that it is right to say no when I am right myself The right people will stick around when I am true to myself Everybody wants a happy life and a peaceful mind But through our own practice we have to produce that peace of mind I have learnt to admire those who choose peaceful life over lavish living Strong people stand for themselves but stronger ones for other living One must strive for a good life and better living in this world Self-contentment is the most potent arsenal to assist you in this world A have tried to make my home as peaceful as I could It is my sanctuary because here I feel as calm and relaxed as I could I need my peace but I need my wild too in this life I need my softness but I need my roar and my growl in life I need my go-with-the flow as my right However, I need my fight as my given birth right I need my understanding but I need time to draw the line If I do some of these I will keep my shine and be fine.

The best day of our life is the one on which we decide that our life id our own.

There are no apologies or excuses and we alone are responsible for the quality of it. In fact this is the day when our life really begins.

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THE SIZE OF MY LIFE My life was a lot larger than the size of my living It had rooms that gave me a comfortable beginning The heart and soul were the size of the wide sky In the background stood the ocean view so high It had the sun, the clouds, the stars and the planets There were elevators, bullet trains and some pallets It wore pants, shirts and had its own ears and nose It ate, slept and it did its daily tasks to remain close It never closed its hands, its windows or its doors Others had larger life size but mine had many floors Each floor was decorated with colours that were pretty Length and depth of joy was always so witty and gritty There were times my life and I joked together for joy We grew moody sometimes but were meant to enjoy I told my life to look after me and I will also reciprocate Thank God it did otherwise I would have had to manipulate It is not enough to just talk about the world peace The leaders must truly believe in it to maintain world peace But it is not enough to believe in it I truly think The leaders of rowdy nations must begin to work for it I think If we keep moving with the current situation of the world at war In the end we will regret the chances we did not take to stop the war The saddest summary of our life contains three descriptions I have When is keep saying could have, might have and should have I know we only come to live in this world once However, if we do it right it is enough only once For me all my life has been an enjoyable experiment that matter The more experiments people go to make the better I want to live my life to the fullest because I only get to live it once It is better to let go of negative thoughts and live with ease They are just temporary emotions that will not give us ease So let us stop comparing ourselves with other people Just keep living our life and be happy with our people My kind of peaceful and enjoyable living is different from others Peace is the result of retraining my mind to process life with others.

Our greatest accomplishment in this life is in never falling but in rising again and again after we fall.

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My Friends I do not think that I have failed or lived my life in vain To my credit I can find many friends to be as my gain The road of life was rough, mountains I had to climb I had joy on the way when all friends came to rhyme I am proud to have my friends beside me in my range To cheer me with the songs, smiles and lot of exchange I get strength and courage for I have mountains to ascend I find that life is worth living as long as I have a true friend I am not hasty when I say that I have never lived in vain The best of my friends are still around as my best remain Even if the sun of this life is sinking and I reach my ends I count my earthly riches in the number of my friends What best friends can be to any soul to you or for me They are shelter, comfort, pride and help for you and me They are our beloved guide to thread the labyrinth of life They are like the love torch to lead us in the darkness of life My friends provide me an atmosphere that is warm and dear Wherein we can breathe freely and live without any fear My friends are unconscious part of true beat of the heart A strength and a good growth wherever we derive our cart My friends are a ray of sunshine wishing me a bright day That fills my life a light so bright all darkness is driven away All my friends are like good music that linger in my heart When their melodies are heard all my ills of life just depart My friends are a refreshing breeze to make me feel at ease They bring happiness in my life sharing whatever I please Friends I hold close to heart even when we are miles apart I thank God for sending so many friends my way from start My friends are like a flower, they are like a rose to be exact They are ready to provide me with the ideas that are all fact When I see them as an owl, they look beautiful and wise Like the saint and a perfect spirit that lives and never dies My friends are like the heart that stays strong until the end I would be lost in this world if I did not have a true friend.

Let us live for what tomorrow can bring for us and not for what yesterday has taken away from us.

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OUR CHILDREN All our four children are not only smart but they have a great big heart They have been growing up each and every day in their special and unique way Our children are totally filled with joy of life and we loved them with all our heart Now they are all grown up and have their own family to live their life their way When we needed them to look after us while aging they make our hurts go away We raised our children giving them freedom to do whatever they liked each day They have always meant a lot more to us than anyone will ever come to know When our children are not around the days are long and seem to go by so slow Every day of our life brings a brand new start because our children are our heart We thank God every day for gifting these perfect ones to us from the very start All our children are amazing; we cherish them because we believe and trust them All our children are divine, energetic, noble and precious and we respect them All our children have open minds; they are resourceful and uniquely talented They all are our gift from God, kind-hearted, magical, worthy and specially gifted They are like kites and we have spent our lifetime trying to get them off the ground We played with them, ran with them, and laughed with them until we lost all sound We watched them grow with us, patched them comforted them and adjusted them We gave them all the assurances that one day they will fly and we will admire them We kept letting them out and watched them lifted by the wind into the new worlds The lifeline that bound us together has become stronger and tighter by many folds We loved our children for they were special, loving and giving with hearts of gold When growing gracefully, our love was shining for them to see that we were old In our old age we have a few confessions to make for our own satisfaction and joy Our busy hands at times during the day may not have given them time to fully enjoy The little games they asked us to play we may not have had time to share and care When they needed attention for their welfare we may have said come a little later We tucked them all safe at night and told them a few stories but not enough for them We turned out the light, tip-toed softly out but wished we stayed longer with them We watched them grow so fast that our life became short and the years rushed past As the time rolled we found they were no longer at our side to receive love that vast

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Now we are old and grey, there are no games to play, no good-night kisses to share No prayers to give and no loving words but the distancing make us regret that care Our hand and feet that were once busy and still not caring and days are hard to fill We wish we could go back and do all those little things our children asked us to fulfil To all our children we say, “If we had to choose between you and our breathing” We would use our last breath to tell you that “We love you all” as our good feeling Blessed are all our children because they are a special gift from Almighty God Each day of our life we pray for His guidance to them as the road of life they trod Each one of our children has special skills, talents, hopes and specific goals May the threads that weave their destinies match well with their hearts and souls Our children have been our progress, prestige and peace on this complex earth May God bestow all the majesty and splendour of life to them on this earth Dear God, these earnest longings in our hearts we ask of thee as always Guide their footsteps firmly onward on their paths with love and peace always When that day comes when we feel that there are no more tomorrows for us One of our regrets will be that we are not there at your side should you need us Our wishes for you all then always be that your lives are long and healthy for you May you all follow your cherished dreams wherever they take and lead you When you begin to feel that we are but only a fond memory for you think of us Just remember that you all were, are and always will be deeply loved by us Some day when our children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents We will tell them that we loved you all and that was why we restricted some of your actions.

Our life is too short to start our day with broken pieces of yesterday because it will certainly destroy our wonderful today and definitely ruin our great tomorrow.

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RAISING OUR CHILDREN AGAIN If we had our children to raise over again We would change our ways and think again We would build our self-esteem first and house later We would do more finger painting but point our finger later We would do less correcting and more connecting We would take our eyes off our watches for connecting We would watch our children with our eyes open We would care to know less but know to care more often We would take more hikes and fly more kites seriously We would stop playing serious and play a lot more seriously We would run through more fields and gaze more stars We would do more hugging and less tugging from the start We would be firm less often and affirm our love much more We would learn to understand them well and do a lot more We would be models but do less about the love of power We would do more to maintain the power of love every hour Whatever are your labours and aspirations in this life Keep peace in your soul in the noisy confusion of life One of the hardest lessons was letting things go in life Whether it is guilt, anger, love, hate, betrayal or loss Change is never easy but not when you are your own boss While you learn to hold on so do fight to let go Nothing should be hard when you decide to go and show When our mind is governed by the flesh is at ease Then the mind governed by the spirit is life at peace Remember that we cannot find peace by rearranging life But by realizing who you are at the deeper level of life If we are depressed we are living in the past of our nature If we are anxious we are living for the future If we are at peace we are living in the present Why make simple life complicated to enjoy your present?

However bad life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at because while there is life, there is hope.

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AGING GRACEFULLY My aging gracefully is making me live a life I love It has been quite an art in living a life that I love Years have gone by when some things fell apart This life has been a real pleasure from the start I lived well only because I was blessed by the Lord Family and friends cared for me as if I was the lord No pacemaker, no dentures or hearing aid as yet But the hair is getting thinner and body is not yet Instead of the perfumes I now use Vicks Vapo Rub Walking for health on the road is no more my hub Tread mill keeps me fit and gardening is my saviour Watering my plants is my therapy and is my repair When asked about the past I am not sure of them What I have done a few months ago is not so firm I have the idea I am getting ready for the junk yard I plan to love and live my life well as a real die-hard To me as an amateur poet, the greatest pleasure of creating my poems was the music that my words kept giving me. I know that nothing can erase the past but there is always repentance, atonement and forgiveness. However, that is not all in life because I expected a lot more.

When my pride said it was impossible, I made it possible When my experiences said it was risky, I made it possible When my reasoning said it was pointless, I made it possible Then my heart whispered, give it a try to make it all possible I want to choose happiness, love and compassion in life Of course, peace, good health and genuine concern for others Heart to heart bonds, balance and authentic living in life Living in this way had always attracted me to others This was while I was serving and uplifting humanity in my way This was what my life was all about both home and away.

If we do these happiness cannot be far behind and away These would grant us a grateful heart and a peaceful mind right away.

My advice to people is never be in a hurry ever Do all you can to serve quietly and in a calm spirit Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever Even if your whole world seems upset and dispirit.

Every situation in life is temporary, so when life is good, make sure that you enjoy and receive the goodness full.

However, when life is not so good, remember that it will not last forever and better days are on the way.

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MY LIFE WAS A DREAM My life I believe was a real dream That was not dark as people say There was often a little morning stream Some sunshine brought a pleasant day.

Sometimes there were clouds of gloom, But they were not my worry at all I wanted showers to make the roses bloom, I never lamented when there was a fall.

Each moment of my living was precious So I lived in the moment for better thing Just took them all that looked gracious I paid attention and enjoyed everything, I did not let my mind wander To whatever was to come next I liked to cherish the thunder Move to give my life the best.

I never let my tomorrows To rush me through today, I knew that many great morrows Will just go to waste one day I loved the people I was with, For all the moments I shared I gave them my focus forthwith I wanted to be loved and cared I learnt to laugh till it hurt me Let the tears drop if it was hot I never forgot to see the glee I loved all that I always got.

How could I miss to be content?

There were lessons to share I never got to be complacent I stayed sharp and aware.

I always took a moment To change my life's path Once it gave me the moment There was no going back for a bath I knew that in just a few seconds, I could make a new friend Find my true love in heavens To see my life to start or end 88

I always wanted better rating In those moments I was to live My growth was not in my taking But in how much I could give My life has been full of pleasant moments So precious that I wanted to renew And valued all those good as well as bad moments Whether they are many or few.

If you cannot do great things in a great way then just do small things in a great way.

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Dr. Ram Lakhan Prasad After My Demise I came in this world with nothing, I lived life my way and I loved a great life. I tried my best to enjoy my family life and managed a few ups and downs. I have so far lived for 83 good years but when I will be leaving this world I will definitely do with nothing but attain salvation. However, I will be departing with pleasure and pride because I did what I had to do and say I am sure I will reach my salvation and attain Nirvana.

These are my final wishes after my demise. After participating, attending and speaking at so many funeral functions of family members, friends and relatives I thought that my cremation has to be unique and somewhat different where there is no need for any attendance, function or traditional ceremony for my body that is left without the soul. My soul merged with the Supreme Creator and needed to reach salvation and attain Nirvana. With this philosophy in my mind I decided to pre-arrange my cremation privately with no attendance, no traditional function and ceremony with the funeral directors from a company called BARE. Many times while living and enjoying my wonderful family, social and cultural life I used to ponder. "What was my real purpose to be in this world that I came and lived in? Were there some people to make me live and love my life or was there a good reason for my being here?" As I was growing up with my people I found all the right meanings for the grant of this short, sweet and satisfying life by the Almighty God. My grandparents, parents and my family and all my children made me understand those meanings well enough to make this life worthy of my living.

I always believed that my entire life actually did have a very good meaning. That meaning was to "reproduce" and raise a family and to go forth to serve my people. I understood that the meaning of my life was actually very simple. My life was whatever I could make of it and so I was proud that I managed to do whatever I wanted and needed to do as an active, kind and considerate human being. Now that I am no more, I do not want my people to waste their valuable time by attending the final cremation of my body that is useless and without my soul.

I did all I could to raise my family to give them a firm foundation by giving my children all the best education and the best growing up I thought was right and that I know has given them all a better family life than what I had. However, you all could see that it was not my family I was running away from but it was me I was running to when I trotting the world. You all could have disliked me then and you all had every right to but you all have now understood what was 90

happening then because you all are wise beyond your years. I was developing my way of living and getting the right knowledge to deal with my family and the people generally. I succeeded well in this venture all because I interacted wisely with the good people that were around me.

I am sincerely grateful to you all for giving me your love, care and support after your mother was gone. Knowing that despite your own family and other obligations you all were there for me, made me feel like a millionaire. Of course, there were times that we all had to mind our own business like all busy people do.

You all knew that I had developed a few chronic ailments and needed someone to care for me during the rest of my difficult living to provide me the needed comfort, companionship and safety. Knowing that your mother was not going to return I decided to get into relationship with a person called Ganga, who became my wife on 10th June, 2017. She has done her best despite the limitations and difficulties to make my life easier, more pleasant and adequately comfortable and I would like you all to give her the due credit, respect and care after I am gone.

I have been so lucky to have two wives; your mother’s tributes are published in various publications and you all have experienced the tender loving care that your step-mother you all refer to as Aunty Ganga provided me. However, the luckier aspect was that I had four wonderful children and their respective families and eight grandchildren to look after my affairs when I needed them most. I do not think I would have lived this long if you all had not shown that affection, compassion, cares and responsibility for and to me.

There should not be any additional traditional, cultural or social ceremony after the pre-arranged private cremation is done privately. As for me, do not feel sad or sorrowful because I had lived a wonderful life all because of you all, my wives, my friend and the blessings and love of Almighty God. There cannot be a happier person than me, knowing as I do that the same biology that has finished me off is what gave me the opportunity to create you all, the most wonderful creations I know, apart from your darling mother and Aunty Ganga. There were a few days when some of you felt a little different about me and my living but like a deep river I kept flowing towards the sea to join it for my plain sailing.

So it is time to Dance, Dance and Dance every day after my departure and enjoy your respective lives and living styles. I would not mind this a bit. I would feel unwell if my wife Ganga is not cared for after I have gone. Despite some of my odd behaviours, she was able to give me an extension to my life and she deserves your care, support and respect. My home at 76 Ghost Gum Street is hers and is shared with my youngest son Rohitesh Prasad who will be the sole owner after she is no more.

The rationales behind adding Rohitesh to the property title were three folds.

Firstly, you all have become adequately affluent in your own rights and would not worry about my decision and sharing my small asset because you all know 91

that Rohitesh had a few financial problems and has no real estate in his portfolio so needed my support. Secondly, my wife Ganga needed someone to manage the property after I am no more and then meet all the financial and other obligations until she lives. Thirdly, Rohitesh paid off the reverse mortgage that I had taken on the property to meet my medical and deteriorating health needs.

There is an obvious regret that I have and I cannot fully understand why my children and grandchildren distanced from me after my marriage to Ganga. This has hurt me a lot but I managed to accept this because despite the distance they maintained, they did not cause me any harm and I have forgiven them for their misunderstanding, their distancing and their somewhat odd relationship towards me. Please let things move smoothly for Ganga after I am gone.

My last and final wish is that a Funeral Caretaker called Bare will conduct my cremation without any attendance, function or ceremony. There will be no other function and activity after this. Thank you for respecting and understanding my final and last wish for my final ceremony. I had this wish in my heart that you would all celebrate together and you make all my wishes come true. Your presence, care, love and considerations for me have been more than any present for me in this world.

I did my best to give my gifts, presents and support to you all during my life because I wanted you all to stand on your own feet and develop a life to live that obviously would be better than what I have been able to endure, cull out for myself and attain satisfaction plus contentment. There were a few errors of comedies that I conducted in life but in the end I have no regrets because while I have learnt a lot from my errors and mistakes to make my living even better.

During my last few years I developed a serene relationship with the Creator, Almighty God who I always knew as the Destroyer of all evil. My prayers during these days were not for me alone but for my family, friends and for world peace.

All these gave me special and lasting good feelings. While I was blessed, I did not run away from the fact that I needed to ask the Lord for forgiveness and repent for all my sins to feel well in the end.

No one could ever realize just how much I loved my life, my family and I would miss the entire god given pleasures. I will never forget the times we all had together, good, bad and ugly. My heart and soul would ache for you all every second of every day after I am gone. I know I will never love someone as much as I loved you all and I will never let that love fade, even in the next life. It is with great sadness that I am posting about a great loss in my life. I will never forget all the true love, beauty and good spirit. I am devastated to have to tell my family about my loss. My heart is heavy and my tears are endless on this day but I am happy that I am leaving with no regrets.

On my departure we all have suffered a loss today. We hope everyone will remember the good times that we have had in the past years and not the sad ending of today. Please remember me that I am no longer with you all todayhowever, our kind spirit, warm laugh, and generous soul will be remembered 92

fondly by all of us for years to come. I will rest in peace as I have lived in peace for so many years. I never thought I could love my people so hard and I never thought I could miss someone so much. Your absence will leave a huge void in my life in the next world. My heart is broken and my tears seem endless. The loss I feel on this day is as deep as the night sky and as dark as the bottom of the ocean.

Without you all in my life in the next world, there will always be a huge, empty spot where your love and laughter used to reside. I will never forget you all and your love for me and my life and living. I will never forget the moments we had together, good and bad. Without you all in my life, things will seem empty and dull. My love and thoughts will be with you all always.

I never knew I could miss someone so deeply and so strongly, but we here are.

You will be on my mind forever and always. My love for you will never fade, no matter how many years pass. You all have always been my light, my love, my solid rock and everything. No one could ever realize just how much I loved my people and how much I will miss you all. There isn’t a thing in the world I wouldn’t do to bring you back to me for just an hour but this is not possible now that I am no more.

I will never forget the times we had together, good and bad. My love for you all will always be as strong as possible and your memory will never fade from my heart. My heart and soul will ache for you all every second of every day. I will always have a special place for you all in my heart that could never be replaced. I know I will never love someone as much as I love you all and I will never let that love fade even in the next life. Memories that have you in them are the best ones in my mind. I never knew I could miss someone so deeply and so strongly, but we here are. You will be on my mind forever and always.

I never thought I could love someone so hard and I never thought I could miss someone so much. Your absence will leave a huge void in my next life. My heart is broken and my tears seem endless. The loss I feel on this day is as deep as the night sky and as dark as the bottom of the ocean.

While my heart is broken but there are no tears to shed or stop. I know that you all are somewhere much better. I will count the days until I can see you again in the next life. Without you all in my life, there will always be a huge, empty spot where your love and laughter used to reside. I will never forget you all and your love for me and my life. I will never forget the moments we had together, good and bad. Without you all in my life, things will seem empty and dull even in my slumber. My love and blessings will remain with you all always.

“When I meet God, I am going to ask him a few relevant questions: Why relativity? Why turbulence? Why death? Why War? Why poverty? Why this wretched life? Why rest in peace? Why not live in peace? I really believe He will have an answer for the first.”

I know that during my life I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the needed quality it should have. I also understand that it is 93

tasteless to prolong life artificially. I have done my share, it is time to go. I will do it elegantly. I want to go on, get out from here. I believe that the last words are for fools who haven’t said enough but I have said and done more than enough during my life.

So do not be sad my people. I have faced death many times before but this is real. When all is said and done, we all want to leave this world happy with the part we played in it. I had come to the pinnacle of success in my short life. In the eyes of others, my life has been the symbol of success. However, apart from my work and family life, I have has a lot of joy. Finally, my health, wealth and everything else are just simply a fact to which I am accustomed. At this time, lying on my hospital bed and remembering all my life, I realize that all the accolades and riches of which I was once so proud have become insignificant with my imminent death. In the dark, when I look at the flashing green lights of the equipment for artificial respiration, life support and resuscitation I feel the buzz of their mechanical sounds, I can feel the breath of my approaching death looming over me.

Only now do I understand that once you accumulate enough money for the rest of your life, you have to pursue objectives that are not related to wealth but only good health. It should be something more important: For example, stories of love, art, dreams of my childhood as well as my home, school, college and work life. So I should have stopped pursuing wealth, it can only make a person into a twisted being, just like me. God has made us one way, we can feel the love in the heart of each of us, and not illusions built by fame or money, like I made in my life, I cannot take them with me. I can only take with me the memories that were strengthened by love.

This is the true wealth that will follow me; will accompany me, God will give me strength and light to go ahead. Love can travel thousands of miles and so life has no limits. Move to where you want to go. Strive to reach the goals you want to achieve. Everything is in your heart and in your hands. What is the world’s most expensive bed? I know that it is the hospital bed. You, if you have money, you can hire someone to drive your car but you cannot hire someone to take your illnesses that are killing and bothering you. Material things lost can be found but one thing you can never find when you lose and that is life. Whatever stage of life where we are right now, at the end we will have to face the day when the curtain falls. Please treasure your family love, love for your spouse, love for your family and friends.

That is all from me. Take care and live the life you love and love the life you live.

Dr. Ram Lakhan Prasad, 76 Ghost Gum Street, Bellbowrie, Queensland, Australia.

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What happens when you die?

We all know that our life will end one day eventually. Sometimes it is sudden— one minute we are alive, the next, we are dead. But what happens the minute after that? I have often thought seriously whether there is life after death.

However, it was hard to think of a topic that brought more questions with it than, “Is there life after death?” First, does it even matter what you believe about it? Would it change the way we live if we believed in life after death? Here are just a few of my thoughts about the after our demise.

After death of present body the released soul atman, our real self within would again manifest a new body to start new journey of life. This cyclic rotation of life continues until human beings indulging in spirituality detailed in Bhagavad Gita succeed reaching stage of self-realization, god realization termed enlightenment or Nirvana or Mukti.

As per Bhagavad Gita purpose of life is to live, love and learn to lead a purposeful living. Purpose of life as per Bhagavad Gita does not directly pertain to manifest human life. Lord Krishna in Bhagavad Gita says ultimate goal of life always remained liberation from cycle of birth and death. Human beings keep endlessly rotating in cycle of birth and death until our soul atman, the spirit within reaches state of absolute purity.

No doubt human beings are powered with an independent will, power of discrimination exercising which one separated truth from false, right from wrong. Still, human beings were only a pawn in the cosmic journey of life, the actual master and controller being our soul or our atma existing in our heart.

If human beings so desire not to indulge in spirituality to reach cosmic end of life, it may be acceptable. For this very reason God Almighty ordained a long journey of multiple manifestations in human form before human beings succeed reaching state of absolute purity, Nirvana, Mukti of their soul or atma.

Indulging in spirituality to reach cosmic end of life is noble indeed. We can do it in present life by following teachings of Lord Krishna in Bhagavad Gita or keep it pending for future manifestations. But one thing we must always remember, the present manifest physical form is limited to present life only. Based on residual balance of karma at the time of death the released soul atman would manifest a new body in next manifestation.

When very young between eight and nine years of age I finally decided to end the cycle of birth and death forever. And hence started my indulgence in spirituality detailed in Bhagavad Gita.

Cosmic purpose of life is different from goal of life for the manifest physical human form. As a human being we could reach any bracket of life only to repeat the same journey again and again. I did not want to do that. Understanding my cosmic goal of life once and for all, I plunged wholeheartedly into abyss of 95

spirituality, path of unknown uncharted territory. I was prepared to take all risks and that too unconditionally as everything spiritual always was unconditional.

If we did not succeed in our spiritual pursuit of life, we just could not question god!

Most human beings, seekers I have come across had a conditional approach to spiritual life. They were wrong in their surmise. Everything relating to God and spirituality was always unconditional. Whether or not we reach our goal, all success on path of pure spirituality is totally dependent on our efforts, God Almighty Brahman had absolutely no role in it.

Prime reason why terminology like total surrender to god is used in field of spirituality is because unless a total surrender is there, unless we agree to demolish our ego in totality, we could never succeed on spiritual platform. Only by demolishing ego we can step into higher domains of consciousness.

Understanding Bhagavad Gita and the cosmic purpose of life becomes easier if we can develop 100% faith in God. Absolute faith in God simplifies our spiritual journey. Before embarking on spiritual journey we must be 100% clear about our ultimate goal of life, to what extent we wanted to pursue spirituality in its present shape.

Bhagavad Gita says if we feel we cannot clear the entire journey in present life time, we must indulge in spirituality at least partially to attain whatever best level possible in prevailing circumstances. Just feigning ignorance in matters spiritual is nothing better than animal life.

So is heaven a real place? What is it really like? Since no one has come back from these locations to tell us we know nothing about them. However, if we followed a life of truth, beauty and goodness then heaven is right here in this life but on the other hand if we do not then hell will be our condition.

This list is tiny compared to the questions we all have and the truth is, though there are some things we as human beings can know for sure, there are some things about the next life that we simply would never know. There are actually some great details given in our scriptures about heaven, hell, and what happens when we die but they are conjectures because a lot of details are either missing or not explained clearly. It is probably because it is like trying to explain calculus to a grasshopper. It ls just more knowledge than our brains can handle. We can barely keep up with our own space-time continuum. We cannot quite grasp eternity and its richness.

So in my life I have tried to focus on the things I have come to know for sure. So here is a list of some things I know for sure about what happens after we die.

First, when I am gone from this life I will not actually be dead. This seems mindboggling to the readers. After I die, I will actually not be dead. My physical body will die but my soul will still be alive and merge with the almighty soul (Parmatma). The part of me which is my soul is the most real and is also eternal.

Our scriptures say that if we believe in Him, we will not perish but have everlasting life.

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Hell on the other hand is a real place and God does not want anyone to have to go there. He made a way for us to walk from darkness into light but He is not going to force us to choose His light. That is up to us and if we so wish we can lead a heavenly life or be with the evil deeds and attain life that is hell.

Hell is a place where God can deal righteously with Satan, the enemy of our souls and our system of justice will deal with Satan like people justly. Hell is a place on this earth where God or the justice system can deal righteously with those who choose not to believe in Him or the law of the nation. Again, God is just and perfect and He will deal with us with justice, too. Hell in this universe has always been a place of regret, fear, and hopelessness for people who do the wrong deeds, commit crimes and do not follow the good values of humanity. There will be wailing, pain, and suffering in their lives and there will be dark, ugly and hot atmosphere. I believe that the worst part about hell is that it is a place of eternal separation from the truthful, beautiful and good ways that God wants us to follow. It is definitely a place of punishment and it is also a place of separation from those who are in heaven on this earth. It is a place of isolation.

Heaven on the other hand is a very real, peaceful and enjoyable place on earth and that is exactly where God wants us to live happily before we die. I believe that God does not ever want to be without us. God is our creator. He used great care when making each of us and loves us completely. He chose to give us freedom to love Him back, though. He desires for us to turn to Him, no matter how far from Him we may think we are. When we do, He runs to us, like the good parents in the world.

In this heaven on earth we will be completely healthy and whole. There will be no sickness, pain, depression, fear, death, or anxiety if we choose to live properly. There will be joy, peace, healing, and completeness. Those of us who choose to live in this kind of heaven; we would be able to see God. We will be in the presence of God and have everlasting hope. In my kind of heaven on this earth, we will have our home sweet home as our temple. This will be a place reserved for us to enjoy this short life. We will not be lonely or left out. It will be beautiful. In our kind of heaven, every different kind of follower God has ever created will live together and worship Him in peace for forever with complete harmony and unity. We all will be rejoicing together. This will be my kind of heaven away from hell. In the moments after I die, I will care if many more likes I get on social media, and I will be filled with excitement to finally get to meet my best friend and my savior face to face in the heaven that I had not visited before.

Now I have attained Nirvana or mukti and got my salvation. Thank You Lord.

Let me add an anecdote with a few more thoughts and of course, a few more questions. I want to imagine doing some fast-forwarding for one minute before I die. What would my readers supposed to be thinking about? What do I suppose I would be looking forward to in the first moments after I die? I would probably not care about how many likes I got on social media. I will have no time to think about my last bad haircut or what size clothes I wore. However, one thing I will 97

wish and that is if I had built stronger relationships to be happier and more content and wished that I had served people more properly. I also wish I had spent my life serving something greater than myself for my satisfaction. I know I would have had even a better plain sailing in my life then. But I am happy with whatever I managed to achieve during my plain sailing.

God is with me right now, right where I am. He wants to spend eternity with me and keeps reminding me that when I leave this earth, I should continue to live in His presence. What a gift I have been granted at last! This is the reason I have arranged a private funeral for me with no traditional ceremony and no gathering.

My greatest measure of success has been my happiness and my peace of mind while I lived because I came to understand and believe that there was no greater wealth for me in this world than to attain peace of mind.

To conclude this section of my presentation let me say that my life has been simple because everything happened for me not to me and everything happened at exactly the right moment neither too soon nor too late. I liked them all. My kind of healthy living kept nourishing my body that treasured and nurtured my soul to refresh my spirit. In order to find the needed peace I had to often lose my connections with the people, places and things that created all the unnecessary noise in my short life. I attained peace of mind because I believed that peace was the beauty of life, it was the sunshine, the smile of a child, the love of a mother, the joy of a father and the togetherness of a family. It was the advancement of a simple man like me and the victory of a just cause for the triumph of truth, beauty and goodness. I knew and fully understood when my heart and soul were happy because them my mind was free from all encumbrances.

On my departure from this complex and complicated world, I am at a place in my life where peace is my priority. I have been making deliberate life choices to protect my mental, physical, emotional and spiritual state. I understand now that death must be so beautiful and to lie in a coffin to be cremated in the fire with nothing to worry about but listen to silence to have no yesterday, no tomorrow, just forget all about time, people and places in order to forgive life to be at peace at last. I now need peace in my life because I cannot handle any more heart breaks and aches, no more dramas but just want to have a calm and quiet life. I have often been saying that I wanted a peaceful living and wished to be at a place where there was no noise, no trouble and no hard work. This is where I am now, Goodbye.

Do not behave as if you are destined to live forever because what is fated hangs over you. As long as you live and while you can become a good person.

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CONCLUSION FOR THIS PRESENTATION Having completed my presentation of my Plain Sailing in this short life for peaceful living I now believe that there is a need to make peace with my past so it does not spoil my present and my future. Of course, what other would think of me and my ideas and thoughts is not of much concern to me. I know and believe that time goes on to heal almost everything so I have learnt to give all my time some time to heal me if I am in pain and suffering. Having lived and loved my life for some eighty four pleasant years, I think no one is the reason of my happiness except my wife and me. So there is no need for me to compare my life with others because I do not have enough ideas about their kind of journey. After putting all my ideas and thoughts in this presentation I should stop thinking too much because I think it is alright not to know all the answers. Now is the time for me to smile because I do not own any problems that belongs to others in the world.

Let me place my affirmation for my peaceful living because all has been well so far for me and I have hope and faith in my future. All my life I have embraced simplicity, peace and contentment because I knew that a peaceful heart goes on to make for a peaceful, enjoyable and pleasant living. I am happy and proud that I was able to create peace, joy and satisfaction in every experience that I maintained. Naturally and rightfully then I am filled with love, good thoughts, better ideas and happy feelings and I know that where these human attributes dwell, fear, sadness and sorrow dare not enter.

In the process of my healthy and happy living I have maintained and strengthened my personal law of simplicity. I have reduced a lot of things and aspects in my life because I felt that the simplest way to achieve simplicity was through thoughtful reduction. I managed to organize my life well enough because I felt that good organization goes a long way to making a system of many appear fewer. I have managed my time well because I believed that saving time to do better work made things simpler for me.

I always believed that knowledge was the greatest power for us and continuous learning made everything a lot simpler for me. It was absolutely necessary for me to resolve all my differences in the best possible way because I understood that simplicity and complexity needed each other for my progress in life. I had to evaluate all the contexts in my living because what lay in the periphery of simplicity was definitely not peripheral for me. I knew through my experiences that all my emotions needed to be controlled and evaluated because it is believed that more emotions are better than less in our life. Of course, I had to develop an unwavering trust in myself, my family, my friends and above all the 99

Lord God because I learnt that in simplicity we can trust our living. Then I also knew that there were certain things that could never be made simple but accepted as they affected us. I did not take this as my failure but an additional learning curve. At last I understood and came to know the hard way that simplicity was about subtracting the obvious and adding the things and processes that were meaningful and useful for our living.

I have never regretted the any days in my life because while the good days provided me with happiness, bad days gave me more experience, worst days let me have more lessons and my best days became my good memories. So I learnt to give but did not allow myself to be used. I loved people but did not allow my heart to be abused. I developed trust but was never so naïve to blindly follow events. I loved the word ‘silent’ because in it I found the hidden word listen and never lost my own voice to make my points.

Therefore excellence in my life seemed to me to be the way in which I went ahead to make the most of the adventures of living and gradually became most truly and deeply myself, thereby fulfilling my own nature in the context of leading a good life by missing with other people. Thus I was able to choose to make the rest of my life the best of my life. The life that I have left is now a gift for me to cherish it, enjoy it to the fullest and do what matters most to me. I now have to do my best to face every moment in my life because that opportunity will never come again. The moments that I am living right now are very important opportunities to make this life vividly alive even at this old age and increased vulnerability. I have to learn to live with greater spiritual security in the midst of apparent constant changes by burning the flames of my forces of life in everything I do.

Over the last eighty four years my living was greatly determined not so much by what my life brought to me as by the attitude I brought to my life and not so much by what happened to me as by the way my mind looked at what really happened. I always knew that it was no next time but it was now or never. I found that putting things off was the biggest waste of life because it snatched away each day as it came and denied me the present moment by spoiling my future. The greatest obstacle to my living was expectancy which hung upon tomorrow and lost my today. So I could not arrange what lay in the control of my fortune to put the whole future living in uncertainty. I needed to start where I was, use what I had and did just what I could.

Although I was living life as best as I could I was not exempt from failure and even making bad choices. I began to sleep in peace every night and left everything to God Almighty who was bigger than whatever I was going to face tomorrow. In my daily prayers I asked Him to come to me with the brightest torch when I was in darker days of my life. I could not upload luck nor could I download time and Google could not give me all the answers so I logged into realty and enjoyed the status of my life and living.

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ACCKNOWLEDGEMENTS I appreciate the assistance given to me by my wife Ganga in writing the Preface and doing the proof-reading. My greatest appreciation goes to so many people who gave me the ideas to spread in this presentation. They include my family members, my friends, my compatriots and my colleagues with whom I interacted daily to gather my thoughts, ideas and comments. Of course, my teachers stand tall when it comes to providing me the right tools of creativity.

I never wanted peace in my life as much as I do now and I am happy that the words, actions, thoughts, comments and habits have taken away the many complications from my daily living. I am happy and proud that I was able to rub shoulders with the great people who rallied behind me and there were moments when sat silently listening to the stories of the people who were common, poor, and broken. They deserve my sincere appreciation because what they provided me could not be gathered from any other source.

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