A Message to our Daughters

Facing America

the Garden of Eden and perpetuat- It is imperative that we understand ed through generation upon gener- who God is and who He is I our ation. Was it slavery; which did not lives. It is most crucial at this begin in America until the 1800’s. young age because until our sons Was it ghetto living which is more of and daughters understand by a mentality than a reality. Is the whom, and for what purpose they miseducation of an entire culture by were created, understanding and those endeavoring to make them- coming into the knowledge of selves more superior? Is the hip“WHO AM I?” can not fully be comhop culture that demeans and de- prehended. Image is EVERYTHING!!

Being different is not a curse. We as African American women have for centuries been the epitome of We were graced by God with beaumoralizes the woman to the point of servitude and whoredom more

beauty, grace and elegance. This Whatever it may be, we have an beauty has been both a blessing obligation to our daughters and and a curse for black women world- sons f this generation to retrain wide. It goes back to ancient Egypt. their brain, and reeducate them for Yes that’s right Egypt, and not the success. We often ask the question Hollywood rendition of Cleopatra what is wrong with today’s generawith Elizabeth Taylor, but the origi- tion? Well being the mother of nal Cleopatra with her rich, deep, three ages 29, 13 and 12 I have and dark complexion that estab- seen many differences between my lished or began to instruct women children. Now I am the mother of in the art of beauty. Even further boys. I find myself having the same back it goes to the Queen of Sheba, conversations with them, that my rich in substance and in beauty, in- parent had with me. The “sex” talk, triguing and captivating. So how did the “drugs/alcohol” talk, the “most we arrive to this place we are in as important thing right ow talk, the black women. “future” talk, and in my house, the

than empowering the woman for success? “GOD” talk. All of which are imYes, I said that!! And some may not agree with my theology right now, but let me finish. You se, ladies

your self-worth nor your beauty are in your hair, your figure, your clothes, your car, your house, your money or your education. Neither

is it tied to your DNA. Let’s not get it twisted. DNA plays a big part in your physiology. Some have genes that produce good looking people, and then there are those whose genes well...are less than attractive to the eye that is. But that is not who you are!!

A MESSAGE TO OUR DAUGHTERS:

TEACH THEM TO LOVE THEMSELVES REBIRTH OF THE TOTAL WOMAN

A few years ago (ten to be precise), I Our young people struggle with is-

conducted a workshop among college females. These16 ladies were uality while trying to please others

between the ages of 17 to 21. I ever suffered from or dealt with desues ranging from insecurity to sex-

and please God. For some, they are gle with the idea of failing to sucdorm room. My sophomore year a

asked the question “Have any of you unable to reconcile that. They strugwell-known Islamic brother on campus was found dead in his dorm room hanging from the ceiling. Alt-

hough it was ruled it was never

proven that it was suicide. pression? All 16 of these young la- ceed, failing to become a productive So how do we combat this problem? dies raised their hands. About an member of the 21st century black First, we must get to the root of the hour prior to this session, I sat South, failure to perform well in problem. We are a visual society, among both young men and women school, on the job, in the home, and what we see oftentimes influonce again the age ranging from 17 maintaining successful relationships, ences our thinking and our behavto 21 in this Christian organization. I and trying to understand this thing ior. We’ve become more technolistened to the fears and challenges called Faith, failure to live up to logically-advanced but spend less that these young people faced on a standards set by their parents, time talking face-to-face. We comdaily basis. One of the most preva- standards set by the church, failure municate through Facebook, Instalent and common was the “fear of to land a solid career or at least a gram, Direct message, or Twitter failure”. The second fear among the good paying job in order to care for just to name a few. Even email is young man was being a good father their children; and in the black fami- becoming obsolete. Because of and provider. I was extremely dis- ly is not uncommon for the eldest what we see before us we must unturbed to see our young people child or an aunt even a grandparent derstand that image is everything struggling with such grown-up is- to take on the responsibility of rais- and unfortunately what we see is sues, for many of them their child- ing of small children who by reason not always the truth. For instance in hood innocence having been of some unfortunate circumstance the beauty industry which is a multisnatched away due to adult circum- has lost their parents. billion-dollar industry, the average stances causing many of them to My freshman year in college a Estee Lauder models’ age ranges never know what it is like to simply young lady in our dorm committed from 17 to 21 unless of course, the be a teenager. suicide by hanging herself in her model is a well-known celebrity,

otherwise the person you see on the billboard or in the magazine ad looks to be 25 to 28 years old but indeed no more than 17 to 21 and in some cases even younger. We ourselves dress each day covering up the scars and bruises that life has inflicted upon us, but thanks be

to God for restoring our youth like the eagles.

We were created in God's image and likeness. Our problem is that we spend too much time creating our own image when God said in Genesis 1:26-28 “Let us make people in our image to be like ourselves. They will be masters of all life, the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the livestock, wild animals and small animals. So God created people in his own image. God patterned them after himself male and female, he created them.

God blessed them and told them to multiply and fill the Earth and subdue it. Be Masters over the fish and birds and all the animals. (New Liv-

ing Translation) We cannot discover who we are and what our purpose is in this life here in the earth except we get and stay connected

to God. ready laid out in the heavens. We just have to lay hold to it by coming foreknowthis verse is equivalent to

into a right relationship with the El

Shaddai himself. Then and only then of “to set loving regard upon”or to will we truly experience FREEDOM. King David wrote it this way in 139th Psalm and verse 13 “For you

formed my inner parts; you wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are your works and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, but I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth.”

Apostle Paul writes further in Roknow, He also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of His among many brethren.” The word “fore love” and is used in the sense come to “bestow love upon from

eternity.”“Foreknowledge” means that God purposed from eternity to

love and redeem the human race through Jesus Christ (John 3:16).

The recipient of God's fore-

mans 8:29 “For whom he did foreknowledge or “fore love”is stated

in the plural and refers to the church. That is, God's forelove is primarily for the corporate Body of Christ ( Ephesians 1:4; 2:4: I John

4:19) and includes individuals only as they identify themselves with his body through abiding faith and union with Christ (John 15:1-6)

This is what the enemy tries to keep ed anything less than my best. the believer from knowing. He bogs the believer down and holds power activity of this present age. Satan is the god of this world. (John 12:31, 14:30, 16:11; Ephesians 2:2, I John 5:19). He continues only by the permissive will of God until the end of this world. Those who do not submit themselves to Jesus remain under Satan's sway. He blinds their eyes to the truth and glory of the Gospel in order that they might be might not be saved.

As parents it is our responsibility to teach our children to love themselves. We can only do this if we ourselves have learned to love ourselves. The makeup, the hair, the jewelry are all accessories. But the greatest accessory a girl can have is her confidence; which only comes with the knowledge of knowing who you are. I am forever grateful to God. My mother an grandmother along with other beautifully confident Women of God constantly poured into me. They consistently reminded me of who I was and would become in this life. They never held me back from reaching my full potential and never acceptWhatever job or assignment, class over them and controls much of the ment was not perfection, but in-

or task I was given the one requirestead excellence.

Too often we accept mediocrity and settle for second best. We do

this in our pursuit for a career, in

our relationships and in other areas. Enough! Teaching our daughters to love themselves goes beyond physical appearance. Appearance counts in that when people first meet you they are either attracted to what they se or not. So impressions are important. How you carry yourself will speak more than you can ever say. It’s not in exposing your self that makes you pretty. Look, me personally

I like heels, eyelashes, long hair or a sharp cut, I like nails and makeup. But if I don’t wear my make up or put on my wig, I don’t feel less than confident. Where does confidence come from? Confidence, true confidence comes from the Scriptures. The Word of God builds your confidence and gives you the strength to stand in the face of adversity See” tips: 1.

Here are some “Loving the Me I 2. Develop a life of prayer-prayer is how you communicate with God and He with you. Daily

Devotion-Fostering a personal relationship with our Heavenly Father God is key. This walk requires a lifestyle of holiness

through daily communications with the Father. Develop a routine of Self-Care-

Bring everything to everybody can become overwhelming. You must take care of yourself. Take Time for “Self” - We spend so much time as women caring for others that we fail to take time for ourselves. It is imperative that we practice self-care to be productive and healthy. We get lost in daily activities, family, children, spouses, and even work/ministry. We must

make it a habit to do something special for ourselves. Read a book, get a manicure/ pedicure, get a massage, go for

a walk, take a class, or whatever you need to for relaxation

and empowerment.

can’t go wrong. There is more,

3. Practice saying “No” - We all have limitations. Establish those

boundaries early in your relationships and never be afraid to let people know when the boundary has been breached.

4. Develop an exercise routine Join a gym, do Yoga at home, go for a run/walk, do something to foster healthy habits that you may be physically fit for the fight. Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. Let us do good to watch over our temple daily. love to look good. We love to smell good. And feeling good

about ourselves is linked closely to our appearance.

Although beauty is vain, we should always want to be attractive to our spouses and want to represent the King-

dom well. So, dump the grandma hairdo and cotton stockings and get pretty. it’s not easy shopping these days. But every woman’s closet should have the basic, a pair of black pumps or nice flats that compliment, a pair of jeans, a white blazer, a black suit pants/ skirt, a crisp white shirt, a colorful scarf, and matching accessories. With these items you but get these in your closet and you can go anywhere.

7. Get a “New Do” — spring’s here a ponytail is simple, reliable and all-purpose. Get a new color, a new cut, do something that fames the face and adds

5. Develop a Skin Care/Beauty

Regimen-Face it, we women 6. Refresh your wardrobe- Okay

height for us short people. Check with your stylist for something NEW this season.

8. Spend some time alone-you will never know what you are capable of if you are always surrounded by people. Cultivate a relationship with your self and

lean to like you. You are your first Best Friend. Meditation-

The key to peace in all your relationships, is peace with yourself and with God. Spend time meditating to relieve the stress and pressures of daily life.

9. Maintain positive influences- a supportive and posi-

tive network is key in all relations. You need people around you to push you, encourage you, whip your butt if necessary, and pour positive feedback into your spirit. You don’t need anyone tearing

you down. You can do that all by yourself. Educate yourself-Finish high school, get a degree, learn a new trade. It will increase your income and give you’re a sense of pride.

10. Maintain an Open line of communication-No man is an island. We need people in our lives. Good people to keep us good, and the other to keep us humble.