THROUGH THICK & THIN

Are corporate businesses changing the meaning of words in the English language?

They seem to be if the descriptions on their packaging are taken at face value, although I don’t expect my sweet and sour chicken balls to be literal!

When I was a kid growing up, a bacon butty was a meal in itself with two paving slabs of bread, also a couple of slices of bacon that could have been used as surfboards that the purchasers of Hailsham’s new ‘flood plain’ homes could use to float to the shops on.

Obviously, the obligatory ketchup or brown sauce was slathered on in abundance but the choice will always be controversial, Natalie (my other half) insists on putting vinegar on the bread…does anyone else do this?

After a busy week of magishing (if it isn’t a word then it should be) at ExCeL in London and then up to Manchester, I decided my treat was a Sunday morning bacon sandwich, at my age that’s the best I can manage on a Sunday morning.

Having purchased the thick sliced white bread and the pack of thick sliced bacon, my morning was to be completed with a big cup of coffee, not the posh one but a normal cup of instant because back in the day we’d never heard of a ‘Grande blended macchiato with soy and skimmed yak’s milk with extra foam and a hazelnut shot’…coffee used to come out of a jar and not a dictionary or a recipe book.

Having opened the bread, I wondered if Warburton, Hovis or Kingsmill know that their whiter than my under crackers and doubtless tastier too but nowhere near as much fun to open…back down ladies, I’m not single!

The bacon wasn’t much better, I am guessing they based the ‘thick’ part on the educational prowess of the pig, either that or the pig was anorexic I’m surprised it didn’t wander out through the gaps in the gate as it was thinner than East Sussex Highway’s pothole repair policy.

The real question though is this… should vinegar go on the bread in a bacon sandwich?

Add your opinion to the poll by visiting the Hailsham News website and casting your vote, it’s potentially as meaningful as voting for a political party, so add your thoughts and prove me right or wrong.

Until next time.

Brad Monks: www.verymagic.co.uk