An ordinary family june 2014

AN ORDINARY FAMILY

Colleen Shearer

Š Colleen Shearer 2014 First published in 2014 by BK Press P O Box 47055. Greyville 4023 ISBN: 978-1-928245-00-1 Cover Design and Typesetting: Ginny Porter This book is a true account of events and circumstances experienced by the author.

Although every effort is made to ensure accuracy, the publishers, personnel, printers, distributors and/or other related parties do not accept any responsibility whatsoever for any errors or omissions, or any effect arising therefrom.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, translated or transmitted in any form by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the written permission of the author.

There’s so much good in the worst of us, And so much bad in the best of us, That it ill behoves any one of us To throw stones at the rest of us.

Edward Wallis Hoch – 1849

For the next generation Poppet, Stuart and Jenneth with my love.

May you and your families Be blessed with joy.

Basil m Isla

Callum

Ian Gordon d 1 day old

Alexandra

Stuart m Birgit Raffenberg

5 Children

Josh

Emma m Heath Gillot

Sean

Cameron

Gigha m Haydn Kelly

Andrew m Georgie Isla

Shaney

Allan

Ulva m Tom McFarlane

Alexander Robert

Malcolm m IanthĂŠe

Linda

Jack m Edna Burrows

Henry m Flora Iona m George Moore Ailsa

John Hodgert m Catherine McCalman 1899

Twins Colleen m Edwin Shearer Kenneth Antoinette Jenneth m Gordon Rechner

Warren m Erica Ian m Douglas Bannatyne

Stuart m Cathy

Arthur m Jane Warren

Walter Pole m Rose Hodden 1895

Pole - Hodgert Family Tree

INTRODUCTION This story was born when Jack Moore died.

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uddenly I was the sole survivor of the three generations of the Hodgert and Pole families photographed at Christmas 1934 in Mitchell Park, Durban. Headed by Kit, also pictured are Dad, Mom, Totsie, George, Mr and Mrs Mackie on holiday from Scotland, and a male friend of Kit’s, curiously nicknamed ‘Mary’. Those seated on the grass at the foot of the picture are the younger generation, The Five Cousins – Ian, Ken, Coll, Malcolm and Jack. Iona (Jack’s mother) was the photographer.

When gentle Jack died so tragically in May 1995, the innocent victim of a horrifying multiple motorcar accident after the Comrades’ Marathon, it was to me that the next generation looked for the story of our family.

It is not intended as a historical account, but merely random thoughts and memories which spring to mind, one leading to another, evoking long-buried emotions.

Some memories make me smile, even laugh, while others still never fail to awaken heartache or nostalgia for the ‘good old days’.

There certainly are lessons to be passed on from and by each generation, and even at this fairly late stage of

my life, I still recall and obey injunctions pressed upon me by my elders so many years ago.

Regrettably, much is forgotten, and many opportunities lost when we children did not spare enough time to listen to our parents, grandmother, aunts and uncles, especially about the tales of their own childhood. So much can be learned, so much of interest just there for the listening, absorbing and following. May I hope that the young ones of today will do more of what we neglected to do – to listen to their parents’ stories? This might also help them to understand the older generation. And possibly also themselves!

Broadly speaking, we are what our parents made us.

They, in turn, were what their parents made them. So you have a wonderful opportunity to revise or eradicate any bad hereditary tendencies and knowingly pass on the best. In this way you might be able to turn An Ordinary Family into An Extraordinary Family and One of the Very Best.

A source of deep satisfaction to me now is how the widening families conduct themselves when we celebrate various occasions together. The language and behaviour may be full of fun, but never breach the bounds of what we were taught all those years ago.

One word of advice. Fathers, take a special interest in your sons; and mothers, be a haven for your daughters.

May Our Beloved Shepherd bless and guide you all.

Colleen Shearer.

January: 2014. (Latest update; first written in 1996)

Basil and Isla. Their Wedding 1927.

Seated: Iona and Henry

CHAPTER ONE: In the Beginning

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omerset Maugham was always fond of pointing out that a story must have a beginning, a middle, and an end. But where do we begin the story of our family of five, just an ordinary one with an ordinary name – Pole? A family which has had its fair share of tragedy and triumph, interspersed with humdrum intervals?

However, after all, there IS an appropriate beginning!

In the early 1920s a very good-looking blue-eyed young man, Basil Pole, was working in the Bill Department of the Standard Bank, West Street, Durban. To his delight a pretty young woman with bluey-grey eyes, Isla Hodgert, was assigned to work at the ledger desk beside him. Although appearing to be a shy young man with his quiet demeanour, nevertheless his first words to the young lady were, “Move over, you’ve got all the blanket.”!

Yes, Mom once told me that Dad had ‘technique’.

And it certainly worked with her since, although they were both engaged to be married to other persons at the time. 4 years later, after a 3-year engagement, they were married in St. James’ Church, Venice Road, Durban. The date was December 15th, 1927. Mom was 27 and Dad was 29.

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“THE WEE HOOSE” You may wonder why they waited so long. Well, in those days a young man ‘with honourable intentions’ worked and saved hard, until he could afford to buy a house for his bride, who would then not have to go out to work. Raising a family was the first priority and certainly, in those days, babies usually ‘came along’ pretty early on, there being no planned pregnancies with the aid of contraceptives.

That first house was a 2-bedroomed bungalow at No. 18 Roberts Road, Greyville. They called it The Wee Hoose and it was near enough to Greyville Race Course to whet Mom’s interest in punting, in a very small ‘pin money’ way, of course.

On April 11th, 1929, a son was born to Basil and Isla.

He was named Ian Walter. A photo of the proud father shows him holding Ian in his arms. Dad is also holding his hat in an attitude of the ‘miracle maker’.

Mom called that picture The Hat Trick.

Under 2 years later the twins were born on Sunday, March 22nd, 1931, Kenneth and Colleen. Mom used to say with a laugh that Dad started to go grey from that day, suddenly being faced with a family of five to support!

I was born first at 11.30 pm, just under eight minutes before Ken who would remark jokingly that it was a

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