Belonging and Middle School: Not Such an Odd Couple DR. RODNEY GLASGOW
I
n her book, “The Gift of Imperfection,” Brené Brown says “Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”1 As powerful as this definition of belonging is, it may, at first glance, seem almost impossible to implement in a middle school! Middle school has the worst reputation when it comes to belonging. Whenever I ask at a parent event who would like to go back to middle school, very few hands are raised. When I tell people I lead a middle school, they almost always offer their admiration and blessings for having to deal with what is one of the most difficult periods in child development. Middle school, typically, is where we often feel like the odd person out, where we often struggle to find ourselves and then to locate ourselves in the sea of selves emerging around
us. One of the main developmental tasks of middle school is to find your people, the group to which your authentic self best belongs. And the journey to that can be paved with many stones. As difficult as a belonging mindset can be to attain, especially at the middle school level, it is critical to academic achievement. Being seen, respected, and appreciated are key aspects of belonging. When students feel like they belong in their school and indeed even in a particular classroom, they work harder, engage more, develop more grit and ability to bounce back from challenges, and because of that, they achieve more.2 Our brains are motivated to determine if we are in a space of belonging, and this investigation for clues of our own emotional safety in an environment can be a drain on cognitive resources, particularly when it has to be done everyday, every time we switch classes. Uncertainty about belonging can produce anxiety that can manifest as lack of engagement, negative and aggressive behaviors, checked out and depressive behaviors, and ultimately, a mismatch between one’s potential and one’s achievement.3 We all search for a
As difficult as a belonging mindset can be to attain, especially at the middle school level, it is critical to academic achievement. When students feel like they belong in their school and indeed even in a particular classroom, they work harder, engage more, develop more grit and ability to bounce back from challenges, and because of that, they achieve more. 24
T H E
C E N T E R
F O R
T R A N S F O R M AT I V E
T E A C H I N G
A N D
L E A R N I N G
