Š 1997 Robert Crimmins, 5012 Killens Pond Road, Felton, DE, USA 19943, 302-632-4972
IN ANGEL'S CARE
The Sun woke her. A curtain obscured the light but only slightly. Gradually, she became aware of the yellow glow and the warmth. Once awake, she tried to open her eyes but the light was too bright. There was no rush. She could wait until her senses adjusted to the day, so she drew a deep breath and stretched. Her bed, her nest, was soft and it held her in its warm embrace. It was comfort and peace, and security. Finally she opened her eyes and turned toward the light. The Sun shown brightly behind the silver veil, and now that she was fully awake she held her gaze toward the rising Sun. The light inside had a peculiar quality. It came through the entire surface of the enclosure that surrounded her. The walls were close, within reach, and in just enough places to support her, the walls were joined to her bedding. The small space in which she had awakened contained nothing but her, the bedding in which she lay, and the light. She reached for the surface above her where the sun was brightest. Her hand rested on the silky fabric. She could feel the warmth of the Sun on her hand and the texture of the wall. It tickled the skin of her palm as she slid it over the material. She pushed and it gave some but it was very strong. Her hand was pretty and the sight of it distracted her from the wall. She turned it over, and studied the nails and her knuckles and wrist and arms. She rubbed her hands over her arms and shoulders and then her breasts. She continued to feel her skin with her hands and finally noticed her feet. What funny little things they were. She leaned forward for a better look and as she did something moved behind her and touched her back. She
quickly turned to see what it was but as she did it turned with her and touched her again. Each time she turned it followed so she leaned back to trap it against the bedding so she could see what it was. They were wings. They were lovely; a nearly clear, iridescent film on thin tendon and bone. She spread them and as she did she shivered and the wings beat. The first time they swept up and down only a few times. Her next try caused them to buzz furiously, hundreds of times in just a few seconds. The air around her became a wind and everything shook. When she stopped a thrill lingered. This was the morning of her birth. All these sights and feelings were her first and her heart raced. Life was hers. What was she to do with it? Her close little space was a cocoon. As the Sun got higher she could see more of the world around her but it was obscured by the veil. None of the details were clear but the colors were vivid and so were the smells. The smell of the morning air made her beat her wings which cooled her skin. Every sensation was wonderful and she wanted to get out. She didn’t feel trapped. The cocoon was her protection. It held her until she was ready to leave. It would let her go then and no sooner. Testing its strength, probing its recesses and weaknesses became her occupation. When she tired of her exertions she would sleep and each time she awoke she was stronger. Eventually the walls would tear and the world outside would be hers. Sensations and images of the Earth came to her in her sleep. There was the lightness in her breast that comes with flight and love. The dreams made her work on the walls so she could join the world. Slowly her hunger for freedom was joined by another hunger. She began to feel empty. She needed something that was outside. She could
smell it. It was out there. Her nose would lead her to it and her wings would take her. But she had to tear the walls. She had to let the air in. As her will to escape grew so did her effort. She worked furiously, probing every part of her cell, pushing, pulling, biting, kicking, straining. She knew she would escape because the walls moved more with every attempt. She was getting stronger as the fabric weakened. Anger began to affect her but not fear, not yet. Whenever she felt desperate she would let the bedding soothe her. She could calm herself by breathing the sweet smell of her birth, and it served to reassure her that she would succeed. Finally, it tore, a hole just big enough to peek through. The sight of the world made her stop working. It was so beautiful. The colors and shapes and movements. What were these things?
Some of them would fill the
emptiness. A house stood nearby. She didn't know that it was a house or that the creatures that passed in and out of view inside were people. They were like her, but without wings, and much larger. She saw how they used their feet and wondered if hers worked the same way. Of all the sights, the creatures like her, in the big cocoon, were the most fascinating. Besides satisfying the hunger and flying in the air, looking inside the house was what she wanted most. One of them came to the opening on the side of the house and looked straight at her. Its mouth was moving and it put something in it. She knew that she would do that when she was free. "Dave, come look at the view from here." Her husband got up from the breakfast table and joined his wife who was standing at the sink. He put his arms around her and they gazed out the window at the trees and hills behind their new home. "It's magnificent," he told her. "It's worth all the work."
"I'm so glad we did it," she said. She turned to him and put her arms around his waist and kissed him. What are they doing holding each other like that and touching mouths? Does it satisfy another hunger? She put her finger to her lips as she watched the two creatures embrace. Angel, their daughter, ran into the kitchen. When she saw her parents kissing she stopped to watch. When they were through they continued to hold each other. Angel was seven years old, a pretty little girl with thick, curly blonde hair. She loved to watch her parents hold each other, almost as much as she loved to be held. Now they noticed her. Her mother said, "Hello punkin' head. What are your plans." "I'm going to play out back, and explore." Angel told her. "That sounds like fun," said her father. "I've got some work to do in the basement but when I'm done I'll join you. Theresa, do you want to look around with us?" "Sure, when you go out, tell me. I'll be ready by then. In the mean time, little one, don't wander off too far." "OK mommy. I'll stay close." Angel ran to her father and jumped in his arms and kissed him on his cheek. The sprite outside saw the child. A strange feeling came over her, another hunger. Her father kissed her and put her down. Moments later Angel came out of the door. She stopped briefly and looked at the sky, then ran into the woods. The tiny being in the cocoon watched her until she ran under her and out of view.
The newborn wanted her freedom now more than ever but she didn't start at the walls right away. She looked at the opening that she had made and thought about how to continue. She stared at the small hole and at all the spots that were in any way different than the larger area. Perhaps there were weak places. She decided that there were irregularities and areas where the light was brighter. So rather than work on the little hole, which was very difficult to create, she concentrated on a place that seemed thinnest. For the rest of that day and into the darkness she worked a spot on the bottom of the cocoon. Without a doubt that she would tear through, she steadily prodded and pulled the fabric until she was exhausted. She dropped onto her bedding and was immediately calmed by its softness and scent. In a breath she was asleep. In another she was dreaming of the little creature with the golden crown that walked on the Earth. As soon as the Sun cleared the horizon she was awake and back at her task. Frustration and anger were mounting. The tenacious little nymph fought furiously and without pause until an opening formed, and once started the tear propagated with less effort. Soon it was large enough for her head, then her shoulders and finally her wings. With one last, mighty effort and without a thought for the birth chamber that she was leaving, she pulled herself into the air. She spread her arms and her wings. She was ready to leap triumphantly into the air as a terrible fear gripped her. She spun around just in time to see a gray creature with four legs, many times her size leap at her from another branch. She dove from her perch to escape but it was too late. The animal struck her with its chest and squeezed her with its fore legs as they fell together from the height. As they fell she felt like an observer of her death. How sad that she would never satisfy the hungers or fly in the air or know the golden one.
They struck the ground and the animal took the impact but it wasn't hurt and it didn't lose its hold on her. She struggled. The cocoon's grip was nothing compared to this. The animal pushed her hard against its chest with its paws and drug her over its coarse fur towards its mouth. She saw it open and saw the teeth that would tear her flesh. Both paws now had her. She managed to get one arm free and was about to strike the animal's lip when they were both hit by something very powerful that sent them tumbling. Now the animal did lose its hold and she rolled free. Instantly, she beat her wings with all her strength and they carried her up and away from the ground and the monster. When she knew that her path was clear she looked down to see the animal run into the woods. The little girl, with a stick in her hand, was watching her on her first flight. Rising in the air was a second birth. The wind washed her. The speed tickled her belly and her senses. Her impulse to get off the ground and away from its dangers caused her to surge skyward. The thrill of flight became an even stronger drive. The joy was almost unbearable. Her throat tightened and tears formed in her eyes. Her wings beat like her heart, without effort or thought, but she could control them. Her ascent was so rapid that in seconds the tree with her cocoon was a twig and the little girl an ant. The hills continued into the distance and were met by the sea. Clouds framed in blue towered above her. Finally, she stopped her beating wings but her ascent was so swift that she continued upward. Tucking her wings tight to her back and her arms to her side she continued upward like an arrow. When she peaked, for a moment, all was still and quiet. Between Earth and clouds, she floated. Keeping her wings and arms tucked, she switched from rising to falling. Her speed increased, and as it did, so did her joy. She held herself tight and straight so that she could go faster. The rush of the wind became a roar and she screamed with laughter that she could not hear. Suddenly, the
ground seemed to be rushing up at her and her joy turned to fear. To stop the fall she opened her wings but she was going too fast. She couldn't hold them against the force of the wind. She couldn't beat them in the gale. In a panic she spread her arms and legs and thrashed as if swimming. The change in position slowed her and within a second of the ground she spread her wings again. This time, with all her might, she was able to keep them open and convert her fall to a swoop. She was still going very fast but now she was moving across the ground instead of toward it. Her speed gradually decreased and at just the right time she flared her wings and stepped gently on the ground. Immediately, she looked about for four legged creatures or other ground dwellers. There were none within sight so she sat to collect herself, to reflect on the lessons of her first minute in the World. Thought had to accompany action, and precede it. In her rush to be free she had nearly died. Free fall was stimulating and dangerous. She had already learned that nature was unforgiving and its forces had to be understood before they could be controlled. She would ease into unfamiliar waters from now on. Angel watched the sprite disappear into the summer sky then ran into the house. Bursting through the back door she called for her parents. "Mommy! Daddy! I saw a fairy! A real fairy! Her mother ran from the bedroom and her Father came up from the basement. Her mother said, "What's wrong? What did you see?" "A fairy!" Angel said breathlessly. "A real fairy. She was as small as my finger and beautiful, with wings, and a squirrel tried to eat her but I hit him with a stick and she flew way up in the air. Daddy, it was really a fairy! I saw her!"
Her father looked at her very seriously. Angel never lied. She was honest and practical. Her mother and father never had reason to doubt what she told them, but this tale was difficult to accept. "Angel," her Mother said, "A fairy? You saw a fairy?" "Yes. She flew away though. Do you think she'll come back?" Her parents needed to know more. Her father told her to tell them exactly what happened. Angel explained that she came out of the woods and saw the cocoon in the tree moving. She watched for a few minutes and the fairy came out. She told them about the squirrel and how quickly the fairy had flown away. Her mother and father were now a bit worried because Angel was sure of what she was saying and they couldn't believe her. Each looked to the other for guidance. Then Angel's eyes got very wide and she pointed at the kitchen window. Theresa and Dave turned and they too were shocked. Hovering outside and watching them was Angel's fairy. Their surprise and interest pleased the sprite. The little girl ran to the window. Her mother ran after to stop her, to protect her. The father followed closely behind. They watched the little creature watch them. The little girl took her mother's hand and spoke. "Let's go meet her!" Theresa and Dave agreed and again, Angel wanted to run. Her father stopped her. "Angel," her father held her gently and firmly. "I'm going out first. I'll tell you when you and your mother can come." Angel and Theresa weren't afraid but they waited.
Dave went out the back door. When she saw the man she darted away and when he stepped closer she flew further. He sat down at the table on the deck, just outside the window and watched her. The sprite would not come nearer so he motioned for Angel and her mother to join him. Theresa said to Angel, "Let's go slowly. We don't want to frighten her." Angel knew to be careful. She also knew that the fairy would not fear her. They sat at the table. The fairy was drawn to the little one with the golden halo. The child's glow was irresistible. She had to touch her but she was afraid. Slowly, she came nearer. Angel and her family were amazed. They all wondered if it was a dream. Angel was drawn to the fairy as the fairy was drawn to her. They all could feel it. When Angel held out her hand for the fairy to light, her parents didn't stop her. Angel and the sprite were smiling at each other as the tiny feet touched Angel's palm. For a moment she wondered why she had put herself in the giants hand. She felt a tingling in her feet. It built and spread to her ankles then suddenly, an energy surged through her. She was hot and her muscles tightened and when the surge reached her eyes the smiling face of the giant changed. She was aware. Her life and reason for living were tied to the human that now held her. They would share the wonders of the world. They would open their hearts to each other. They would open their minds. She weighed almost nothing. Angel could barely feel the tiny feet but at the instant the energy was gripping the sprite, Angel felt a current travel
up her arm to her heart. She felt the heat and the awareness came over her. The two were joined. Angel looked at her parents. She had changed. She knew something and she was very calm. "Mommy, she's mine." Her parents could see that this was true. "I am, and she is mine. I am Flora." The fairy in Angel's hand spoke. All of them, especially the sprite, were surprised to hear the words. Angel laughed as Flora leapt into the air and buzzed around them all. She flew so quickly that they could not see her but they could hear her beating wings and laughter. The four of them spent the day together. Angel and her parents explained what a family was and Flora told them how her struggle in the cocoon had strengthened her and how the Sun woke her on the morning of her birth and she thanked Angel for saving her from the animal. That night Theresa and Dave discussed their new reality until very late and Flora came to Angel as she slept. The little fairy landed on her pillow and watched her new friend. She laid down in her hair and got lost in the smell and softness. It was like her cocoon. Then she bit Angel behind the ear. It was done so carefully that it only tickled the girl and she smiled in her sleep. Flora rubbed the spot, kissed it, then fell asleep in Angel's curls. They dreamed of each other. The day that Angel saved Flora was the beginning of a lifetime together. Angel grew up and married and she had children. Flora was with them every day. Angel's parents and her husband and children kept the secret always. Angel's friend was known only to those that loved her most.
Angel's children grew up and left home and Angel grew old. One day when she was very old her husband left too. Flora was there. She wouldn't leave her golden one. Flora didn't age like her human family and this saddened her. She knew that Angel would leave her someday and then Flora would be alone. Their lives together had been rich. Love was the force that guided them always and although neither of them knew what would become of Flora they hoped that their love, and the force that they felt when they first touched would sustain her. The sunlight filled the room on Angel's last day. Flora buzzed around the room to entertain her friend. Then she landed on her pillow and they laughed about a child's discovery and again about a mother's fears. Angel was telling Flora about a Christmas many years before when suddenly she stopped, and listened. "Flora, do you hear that?" "No. What? I don't hear anything." "A baby. I hear a baby crying." Flora didn't hear the child but she knew why. "Angel, I know what it is. Be still." Flora was on Angel's pillow. She kneeled down and pushed Angel's hair away and touched the skin behind her ear. Then she put her head next to Angel's to listen. She could hear the baby inside, just below the skin, crying. She smiled broadly and the warmth that she had known only once before washed over her. Flora leaped up and danced around the bed and on Angel's chest. Even though she was weak, the dancing pixie made her laugh. Angel asked, "What is it Flora?" "My baby is ready for the World!"
Flora told her what she had done their first night together. When she bit her behind the ear she planted her tiny child. Angel carried her through all the years while the baby grew. Every time someone told Angel that they loved her the baby heard and believed they were talking to her. The children that she nurtured and the husband that she loved and Flora, her life long friend, all helped the baby grow because they loved Angel and Angel loved them. While in Angel's care, the child was bathed in human kindness. The rest of her development would be in the outdoors, in the cocoon. Angel knew that this must be her last day because the baby was ready. They were heartbroken that Angel was dying but at the end, the promise of new life meant more to Angel than the end of her own. She was glad that she had helped her friend in such a way. Angel passed away in the night. Her dreams were of the sprite that she loved and the baby. Flora kissed her good-bye and wrapped her baby in a lock of Angel's silver hair, then took her to the tree behind the new house that the man in the woods had just built for his wife and little daughter. For years, Flora had looked for the right family for her daughter, a family that loved a little girl with a shining heart. It was very far from Angel’s house and the long flight would be the last time that Flora would ride her wings. She chose a spot on a thin branch, a branch too small for squirrels, that faced the back door and the rising Sun. She spun a cocoon with Angel's hair. For the baby's bedding she used her wings. Removing them from her back hurt some but the pain didn't last. When she wrapped the infant in them she knew that she would wake up feeling her mother's love.
She placed the child in the cocoon, held her face in her hands and said, "Good-bye Angel." The baby slept as Flora closed the cocoon around her. After one last look to make sure that all was right she climbed down to the ground. Staying in the tree might attract an animal or bird to the baby so she had to get down. She'd done everything she had to. Being on the ground without wings was terrifying. Anything could find her and she could not get away. Her instincts and intelligence had always helped her before but now she didn't know what to do. She began to think that this was the end for her. Her destiny, the destiny for all of her kind, might be to mother a child. With that fulfilled perhaps her role on Earth was complete. But how would it end? Would she starve because she couldn't fly to food, or would an animal devour her? Walking away from the tree with these dreadful fears she didn't hear him swooping down from behind and above. She didn't know he was coming until he grabbed her in his arms and carried her aloft. She felt a tremendous fear for a second. Was this a bird that would drop her in a nest of ravenous chicks? Then she saw his hands, hands like hers but thicker and much stronger. She felt the strong arms that were holding her firmly and gently. She turned to face him and he eased his grip. It was a man, like her but a man. She had never seen another of her kind but she always thought that if others existed they would be women. His destiny, and the hope of all the men of their kind, is to rescue a woman without her wings and then keep her and care for her. Once they have found each other, they live with love for a thousand years. Then they face the next reality. He had been seeking her his entire life, as long as she had been with Angel.
Flora remembered the first time she saw Angel's parents kiss many years before. The warmth of his touch and his strength and the love in his eyes thrilled her. Her heart swelled with a love beyond any other she had known. Her life wasn't over. It was just starting. She and her husband were beginning it together with a flight to the clouds.