Rebecca and Robert

Rob’s journal

when: June 8, 1998 where: Wilmington, Delaware, USA what: Rebecca & Robert

© Rob Crimmins, Felton, Delaware, USA

Rebecca and Robert said their vows on Saturday.

The young woman who sang to them during the ceremony was lovely. Her voice filled the large eighty-yearold Presbyterian church. Eight groomsmen accompanied Robert and six young women in long Burgundy gowns stood on Rebecca’s side. The flower girl began to yawn a few minutes into the ceremony and soon after the novelty wore off she was reclining on the alter step. No one minded.

It was a clear and unseasonably cool June day. Everything was as it should have been except for one important aspect. Robert and Rebecca were not in love.

Most weekends throughout the summer I videotape weddings. Most Saturdays and on some Sundays and Friday nights smiling faces on a small black-and-white screen hang an inch from my right eye. The love in the eyes of brides and grooms is very moving. With the zoom lens I can see the tiny tear in the groom’s eye and with the radio microphone I hear the whispers that pass between him and his bride. Sometimes they’ll help each other through the details of the ritual.

Often they say, “I love you,” “I adore you,” “I’m so happy.” Robert and Rebecca were silent.

I try to get to the church one hour before the ceremony so I can get the establishing shots and “cut-aways” of the alter, stained glass and other details at a leisurely pace. Soft light on wood and stone and flowers help me to compose some of my favorite shots. If the musicians are practicing there is background audio. For Rebecca’s wedding the singer was accompanied by a violinist, organist and trumpet player. They were rehearsing as I was gathering these scenes and the trumpeter got snippy. She wanted me to turn the camera off because she felt their discussion of the music shouldn’t be

recorded. I politely rejected her request.

Several people, including the Pastor and a lady with a name tag that read “Wedding Committee”, told me that I couldn’t stay in front of the church during the ceremony. In most churches they don’t mind if I’m in front since it’s the best place to record the event. But the officials here insisted that I work from the balcony.

Normally, after interviewing the groom and best man I record guests as they arrive and are seated. Today would be different in that regard as well because Rebecca’s mother told me to be sure to get all the music on tape. Unless the bride tells me otherwise I always do what her mother says, so today’s tape would include all the music and little of the guests.

Grooms are always a little nervous before the ceremony. The best man usually isn’t. Robert was excited and his brother Mark was poised but exuberant. The interview went well. Robert admitted his nervousness and told Rebecca that, “It still feels right.”

I hooked the microphone transmitter to the back of Robert’s pants and clipped the mic to his coat. He asked if it could go inside the coat but that doesn’t work. If it’s inside the coat will rub the mic.

With the interview done and the requirement for the music in mind I moved to the balcony, put the camera on the tripod and started recording. I plugged the headset into the microphone receiver to check reception. The conversation between the groom and Best man was loud and clear so I removed the headset and concentrated on the video. Eavesdropping is a temptation but it’s a distraction and what’s heard usually isn’t very interesting anyway.

Shooting from the balcony is difficult because of the distance to the subject and the lack of variation in perspective.

Tight shots aren’t possible and the slightest camera movement is noticeable. Panning requires a steady hand.

After a few zooms and pans I listened in on the groom again and all I could hear was rustling. He had moved the mic! Only minutes remaining before the entry of the bride and without the radio mic the vows would be inaudible. From the balcony the boom mic will not pick up words softly spoken at the alter.

Leaving the camera on, I moved briskly to the front of the church to correct the problem. The groom was where I left him in the small room at the front of the church. He was surprised to see me and he explained how he put the microphone in his breast pocket because the photographer didn’t want it in the pictures. I assured him that it would not be prominent in the pictures but the rustling or lack of audio during the vows would be very prominent on the video.

With that fixed I hustled back to the balcony.

The radio mic has caused me many problems in the past. One time I turned it on too soon and by the time the vows were spoken the batteries were dead. Once I put the nine volt batteries in my pocket and they shorted on each other. I realized I had a problem when I felt the heat on my thigh. Another time, at a Catholic church, the radios that they were using to take orders at the McDonald’s drive-thru window across the street were on the same frequency as mine and once the church sound system picked up the grooms microphone while he was in the bathroom.

For me, Saturday’s ceremony went well. The sleepy flower girl and the musicians helped me vary the shots and the long line of groomsmen was useful, particularly when the Best man pretended to have lost the rings and they were passed to him from the end of the line.

Audio from the groom’s mic was clear. Except for the recitation of their vows to honor and keep each other, forsaking all others, neither spoke. There were no whispers or sighs.

With the reading, singing and promises finished, Rebecca and Robert kissed with pursed lips. Then they moved lightly, bright smiles on their faces, out of the church and into the street. I quickly took the camera off the tripod and joined them outside where they boarded a “trolley” for their ride to the reception. (It was actually one of those busses that looks like a trolley.)

Champagne corks were fired in the air to the cheers of the groomsmen and others. Guests watched from the steps of the church and from the sidewalk. The church bells could be heard for blocks.

The photographer and I boarded the bus to get our shots. She asked them to face her and pose, and smile, warning them each time she was about to release the shutter, “Okay, I’m going to take one, just now.” Click.

I rarely ask people to look at the camera. Video should tell a story and simply record the event rather than influence

it. Sometimes people will pose for me but only because they aren’t otherwise occupied or because they always pose for cameras.

Some of those on board shouted, “Let’s go,” so I finished and got off.

Usually the bridal party stays at the church for formal pictures. I tape them as they are directed by the photographer but I leave in time to be at the reception hall when the bride arrives. Since the bride was on the trolly that just left that wasn’t possible today so there was no need to rush.

Returning to the balcony to gather the tripod and other equipment I was greeted by an elderly gentleman who proudly announced that his wife was playing the chimes and he asked if I had ever seen them played. He led me through the door at the back of the balcony to the bell tower where his wife was standing and operating a row of handles. Attached to each handle was a cable that disappeared through the ceiling above. I smiled and said hello and she told me to close the door. She preferred to play without an audience so I didn’t linger but I was glad that her husband invited me to see something that I hadn’t seen before.

The country club is the most elegant of many in a town known for its estates and country clubs. An English maitre d’ ran the affair with military precision. He chastised a bar tender at one point for not immediately attending to a guest. The only flaw in the flow of the entire event was a slight delay while we waited for a knife to cut the wedding cake.

The receiving line was long. It ended in the main room with Robert, Rebecca and both pairs of parents and snaked back through the large foyer and into the courtyard and driveway where valets received the Cadilacs, Volvos and Buicks.

The receiving line is great for video because I can catch the bride as she responds to her guests, which of course includes most, if not all, of her favorite people. These scenes include the best stills. If the bride looks at her husband and smiles warmly while he greets a friend I’ll capture that frame and freeze it in the final program. But Rebecca didn’t give me that shot. She only looked at him occasionally and her smile was thin. He was happy. He wasn’t fulfilled. They wanted to be in love and even though they were off to a tenuous start there was hope for them. They might find each other so I sought those moments when they were trying to be husband and wife.

Mark’s toast was good. Most best men talk about themselves during the toast. “I met him when we were . . . and I met her when . . . I did this and I said that . . . “ Mark told us that his brother and Rebecca started out as friends. He said early in their relationship they made a point of explaining that they were “just friends”. Mark raised his glass and said friendship is an important part of romantic love and successful marriages. He told us that his brother’s affection for Rebecca will be sustained by their friendship. It is a pleasing concept and maybe the best that Mark could honestly offer.

During dinner the video camera remains off. Eating is not a good subject for television. Food is a good subject. Eating isn’t. The photographer and I had our club sandwiches on the patio as the guests were served their entrees.

After dinner Rebecca and Robert had their first dance. They moved well and their smiles were broad but they

avoided each other’s eyes. More than once they were embarrassed by the hint of a thrill that they hadn’t expected. The tiny screen in front of my eye held a bittersweet image. There was faint promise.

The evening wore on and the liquor flowed.

The five piece band was polished and very good at controlling the mood. They were soft and sweet and then brash.

The people responded. The good dancers were very good and the bad dancers had fun. If the women are pretty and the men can dance the video will be worth watching.

Another thing I hope for is articulate groomsmen and bridesmaids. They’re all interviewed so if they are well spoken the interviews are interesting. Once they get started it’s easy because they know their subjects. Old times are easy to recall.

Once they speak the bride’s name or start kidding the groom the words flow.

Robert’s and Rebecca’s friends were well spoken. They spoke of strong and lasting friendships. Some quoted literary passages and encouraged them with Latin phrases. Two sang a duet in perfect harmony and one of the men “confessed” that in the past he had, indeed, slept with Rebecca. He had advice for Robert that he didn’t want on the tape but he would tell him latter (wink).

They dispensed with some of the normal events. Rebecca didn’t throw her bouquet and Robert didn’t remove her garter.

I always end the tape the same way and it has never failed but Robert and Rebecca were unique.

The last song of the night is a slow dance. I ask the bride and groom to dance and after a minute or two to kiss each other, slowly. During the kiss I fade to black and that ends the tape. Rebecca agreed but Robert asked, “I don’t have to hold the kiss for a real long time, do I? I mean a little while is OK but if it’s too long I . . .” I smiled and told him to hold it for as long or as briefly as he wished. I’d get the shot.

They danced but twice they stopped and spoke to others. I motioned to the band to continue. Finally Robert held her close and kissed her. Rebecca pulled away after only a few seconds so I held the shot, hoping that he would kiss her again.

He did and this time he didn’t let her go. Pulling her close to him he kissed her long and hard. I got the shot.

The little screen went dark as I pressed the pause button but I kept the image of their kiss in my mind. I hoped that when I looked they would still be embracing. Slowly I took my eye away from the camera. They were looking at each other and smiling, then both turned away to see who was near but in that instant, for a breathless, ecstatic moment, each saw hope in the eyes of the other.