Charm spring 2015

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JuST Julia Local steel magnolia Julia Congleton Bryant talks about life and love

big baNg TheorY Tips on getting the best bang for your buck from Garden Day Spa and Salon

Feed a Neighbor Lori Harris tells us how food tastes better when shared with neighbors

SpriNg 2015

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Spring, I am waiting patiently for you

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

AS i write thiS, my kidS hAve been out of School for AlmoSt two weekS becAuSe of winter weAther.

I am ready for spring! Spring showers, spring pollen, spring everything.

I love it when the cherry and dogwood trees bloom and the ground is warm and dry enough for me to lie down under the branches and look up at the sky, through the pretty blooms. A long time ago, when my now teenage son would do that with me, he said, “It looks like the sky is full of flowers.” Today, when I see the trees blooming, I always say to myself, “Skies full of flowers,” and think of us lying under that

dogwood tree.

Shooting the photo of Julia Congleton Bryant for our feature story was like a spring breeze on a cold winter day. She met us at the Imperial Centre on a cold day, a vision in pink and her warm personality and kind character warmed the whole place up.

LaMonique Hamilton’s profile of this community icon is a great look at what makes Bryant such a grand role model for all of us.

I can’t resist including a photo Jenny White is the editor and of me with bangs back in the day stylist of Carolina (@1987). See our feature, “To Charm magazine bang or not to bang,” on page 8. and special I’m thinking ‘yes’ to trying bangs sections editor of again...without the braces. the Rocky Mount Telegram.

Jenny White

CAROLINA CHARM SPRING 2015

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INSIDE carolina

Focus

Spring 2015

Portrait of a Lady – 10

Her beauty is matched only by her warmth and kindness. Learn more about Julia Congelton Bryant.

Fashion

A winter’s sale – 6 Looking for love in some deep winter discounts? We’ll tell you what to look for.

Beauty

The big bang – 8

Garden Day Spa and Salon stylist and manager Lindsey Shearin advises us on whether to bang or not to bang.

CAROLINA CHARM SPRING 2015

Features

Patsy – 5

Patsy Pridgen tells of her past talent for embroidery and why she can’t see herself doing it as much anymore.

Local Taste Rocky Mount blogger Lori Harris shares a recipe that’s best served shared.

March Madness parenting tips – 16 About the cover Alan Campbell photographed Mrs. Bryant at the Rocky Mount Imperial Centre.

You can see Bryant and other local female icons in the Maria V. Howard Art Center’s permanent collection exhibit, Local Women of a New Tribe,

by Jerry Taliaferro. The exhibit is upstairs in the main gallery.

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PASSING TIME WITH PATSY

Cross stitching has seen better days It’s a project I should have completed a year ago. after all, I had made a pIllow for hIs cousIns, my other grandchIldren, when they were born.

But the older I get, the harder it is for me to see how to cross stitch.

That baby pillow, with the cross stitched name and date of birth, was a gift for little Jack’s first birthday instead of his arrival.

There was a time, 30 years or so ago, when I could whip out some cross stitching in no time flat.

I had perfect vision then.

Patsy Pridgen is a retired Without using even those English instructor and a magnifying drugstore longtime columnist for the reading glasses, I had no Rocky Mount Telegram. problem threading the needle and making all those little x’s by sewing through all those little holes.

I’m assuming, here, that you know what I mean by cross stitching.

I’ve just realized that a younger generation may never have been introduced to this type of needlework. It’s really quite simple – if you can see.

You buy a piece of cross stitch fabric called Aida cloth, found at a fabric store, and pick a cross stitch pattern. (Tip: the alphabet pattern can be printed for free from the Internet.) A hoop to hold your work, a needle and embroidery thread in the colors you choose, complete your supplies.

Then you simply sew from one corner of a square to the other and then cross that stitch with a second, – hence the name of this type of embroidery, cross stitch. Eventually a picture or a word emerges, formed by all your x’s. It’s really quite simple, and again, if you can see what you’re doing, a lot of fun.

Cross stitching was part of that country look that was all the rage in decorating back in the 1980s. Those of us who wanted to “make mine country” stitched up samplers featuring rustic fences, barns, and

A commemorative pillow Patsy Pridgen embroidered to celebrate the birth of her grandson. She finished it in time to give to him on his first birthday. She blames her bad eyesight for her slower speed of cross stitching (Contributed photo).

wildflowers. We’d either frame these to hang on our walls or use our handiwork as the front of a pillow.

I remember cross stitching Christmas presents for relatives one year.

My husband’s parents got two framed pictures. One read, “If Mom says no, go ask Grandma.” The other said, “If all else fails, go ask Granddaddy.” Of course, both had cross stitched toddlers dressed in overalls and bonnets.

My in-laws dutifully hung these pictures on the wall of their den for a number of years. Fortunately, my mother-in-law liked country decorating too.

Today, I cringe a little when I think of all that country decorating I was once so enamored of – the ruffled curtains, the pine what-not shelves with heart cutouts, the Taters bin, the duck wallpaper. And the cross stitched pillows and pictures everywhere in the house.

These days, I do cross stitching only to commemorate a truly special occasion: the birth of a grandchild. It’s about all my eyes can take.

CAROLINA CHARM SPRING 2015

charm Sale-a-palooza FASHION

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Stock your closet with great winter fashion buys

As winter wanes and spring trends are getting closer on the horizon, stores are slashing prices to move winter merchandise out their doors and into your closets. Items like boots, jackets, coats, sweaters, wool trousers and items from designers’ fall/winter lines are being deeply discounted. Look for items you can wear into spring or classics you can store until next winter.

CAROLINA CHARM SPRING 2015

A good buy on a classic mid-weight blazer, like the one on the left, can be well worth the money as you can wear it for about three more months before packing it up for next winter. And the beautiful poncho sweater you didn’t feel like you could splurge on in October may be half price now, like this one by Splendid available at anthropologie.com, now on sale. Boots and booties are another good buy this time of year – if you can find your size. Many styles re picked over, but if you can find a pair that fits, expect to pay at least half of what you would have paid before Christmas. Many fall/winter clothes can be worn into the warmer months – like cardigans, scarves, lightweight sweaters, cropped pants and printed knitwear, blouses and dresses.

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Beauty Beat

To bang or not to bang

We’ve all been there right? in Front oF a mirror, SciSSorS in one hand, clipping an innocent gray hair out – and it hitS you: you Should try bangS. Celebrities look so awesome with them and it would offer a great pick-me-up to your tired hairstyle...right? I mean, sure, it’s the first thing people will see when they look at you, but just a small snip – what could go wrong?

Whether you’ve rocked bangs your whole life – a la Anna Wintour – or are looking for a new year-new do, we’re here to help you with your fringe finale.

Middle part Middle part bangs work great with a hairstyle that has some layering. The layers create movement within the style and the bangs can be styled to whisp away from the face to create a great look. If you have a rounder face, go slightly longer. These bangs are easy to style – just blow dry forward, curl in with a brush and part them in the middle.

CAROLINA CHARM SPRING 2015

Before you make a mistake that may take months to grow out of, Lindsey Shearin at Garden Day Spa and Salon has some simple tips and advice she shares, to follow when thinking about going with bangs. Shearin is a popular cosmetologist in the area and assistant manager at the Garden.

And though Shearin doesn’t say it, we’ll say it: If you’re going to go for bangs, get a professional cosmetologist to do the deed. Your bangs will thank you.

– Jenny White (illustrations via stylebakery.com)

Fringe A fringe is a great bang because you can create such different looks with it based on whether or not you blowout or straighten the rest of your hair or add a little curl to give some body to the overall look. A fringe can be super trendy when styled the correct way. Making sure not to cut the bangs too short is the key.

Baby bangs Side-swept

Baby bangs are great if you want a unique and quirky style. Often hairstyles with baby bangs are accompanied by bright-hued hair like red or blonde.

These bangs have a lot of character. Do NOT try to trim these yourself – any little mistake will be able to be seen.

Side swept bangs tend to be the most flattering for the most people, suiting most all face shapes and sizes. It’s a feminine look and offers a sexy, but safe style. This style can be taken a bit shorter for a bolder approach, or a longer bang can just add a little softness around the face. A typical length is to the nose. Individuals with a large forehead will greatly benefit from this bang as it camoflaouges this portion of your face. To style, spray a volumizer on toweldried hair and blow dry upside down with wide brush. Part at the end.

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Julia Congleton Bryant at the Rocky Mount Imperial Centre, February 24.

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charm Portrait of a lady

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COVER STORY

Twin Counties resident Julia Congleton Bryant tirelessly and gracefully builds a legacy of paying it forward

Julia Congleton Bryant is the emBodiment of a phenomenal woman. she has devoted her life to guiding and propelling young people to reaCh their full potential and has Been in Consistent serviCe to her adopted City of roCky mount.

Julia, the daughter of Samuel and Julia Congleton, has an evident flair for fashion and once aspired to be a model.

However, she found her passion in working with youth when she was still a teenager herself. She learned early in her life that how a person carries herself was important when trying to achieve and become successful. One of eight children in the Congleton household, her parents were loving, but strict when it came to their appearance and how to conduct themselves in public.

“We were taught to dress nicely. We always wore hats and gloves to church. We were to keep facing forward when the doors at the back of the church opened,” Bryant said.

Their home was Christ-centered, and though they were not rich, they were blessed. Julia’s parents felt they had a responsibility to help guide other children in their community of Robersonville, who were in less than ideal situations.

“Some of the children were being raised by grandparents.

Some were in fatherless homes. We always had other children in our home, and my parents treated them the same way they treated us.”

Influenced by their example, Julia began working with young people while still in high school. She mentored underclassmen, and encouraged them while excelling in the classroom and in athletics, particularly basketball.

Julia continued working with young people while attending her beloved alma mater, Elizabeth City State University. She was a cheerleader, and took the campus by storm with her warm personality and heart for service.

It was at ECSU that she solidified her plans to turn her passion for young people into her career, earning a bachelor of science degree in education.

Upon graduation, Julia moved to Rocky Mount and began written by

LaMonique Hamilton photography by

Alan Campbell

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teaching. As an educator during the height of the Civil Rights Movement and prior to integration, she felt a pressing need to not only educate the minds of her pupils but also build their self-esteem.

She let her students know that, with hard work and perseverance, they could achieve and become successful. She taught them many of the same edicts her parents had taught her years before – etiquette, self-control and behaving as young ladies and gentlemen. In present times, she said she feels that this component of teaching is sorely lacking, both in the school system and at home.

“The parents aren’t teaching them. The teachers aren’t teaching them. It can be very discouraging, but as long as I have breath in my body I will keep working with young people and instilling [values] into them. I will never give up.”

In addition to teaching their children how to conduct themselves and achieve excellence, the Congletons also taught their daughters something almost unheard of during the 1950s and 1960s – to become independent.

“My father wanted us to be able to take care of ourselves. He didn’t want us to have to rely on anyone, including husbands, to survive. He wanted us to have careers and our own, so that if marriages didn’t work out, we would be OK. None of us got married until we

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Bryant says it was raining the day she went to the Imperial Centre for Jerry Taliaferro to photograph her for the Marie V. Howard Arts Center exhibit, ’Local Women of a New Tribe.‘ “My hair was not its best,” she said. She had one of her signature hats to wear that day, and though Taliaferro did photograph Bryant with her hat, he did not want to choose a shot of her with her hat for the final exhibit. Bryant originally disagreed, but eventually saw the beauty in what was ultimately Taliaferrro’s choice. “He said the photograph was supposed to be about me and my face and my story, and not about my hat. And he was right.” The exhibit is open to the public and Bryant said it was an honor to be included in the project that highlights local African American women.

were in our thirties.”

Julia eventually married Dr. J.E. Bryant, a wellrespected physician.

He was also devoted to serving his community, particularly young people and the elderly He believed in education for youth, and paid for several children to attend college. He also

CAROLINA CHARM SPRING 2015

appreciated the work of the older people who came before him, and made sure to show it in any way he could.

“There were so many times that an older person would see him, and he would tell them to go to Almand’s (drug store) to pick up their prescription, knowing they didn’t have

money. Then he would call Almand’s and tell them to put it on his account. That was just the kind of man he was.”

Together, they worked to help the community of Rocky Mount. In addition to their careers, they also worked on several committees and with numerous organizations.

They worked tirelessly within their church, The Episcopal Church of the Epiphany, and made sure to keep Christ at the forefront of their marriage, as her parents had done.

They were a wellrespected couple, not only for their philanthropic efforts, but for being an example of love and warmth, a union that other couples could learn from and emulate.

Julia describes her marriage as very happy, and the 20 years they were together before Dr. Bryant’s death 12 years ago as “too brief.”

Julia is now retired from the school system, but she continues to stay very busy.

Whether she’s working with her sorority, Alpha Kappa Alpha, or on the boards of North Carolina Wesleyan College and the Boys and Girls Club, she is instilling solid values and inspiring young people.

Of particular pride for her is the Elizabeth City State University Down East Viking Classic, where she served as chairwoman since its inception over a decade ago. Many people see the Classic as just a football game, but Julia

However, her most important role now is caretaker to her mother, who turned 100 in December.

Still sharp and only slightly less spry in her century of living, Mrs. Congleton is able to see her hard work and determination in raising her children come full circle as they provide that Julia Congleton Bryant and her husband, Dr. Bryant. The couple were married for 20 years before he passed away.

says that it is much more.

“It’s an opportunity for young people and families to get together. Young people get a chance to see and interact with students living the college experience that they may not otherwise get to see.”

It was important to her

to bring that exposure to Rocky Mount, so that the community could see why she is such a proud alumnae of her university, and encourage young people to think beyond their neighborhood or current situation, to see what they could be.

love and care to her.

“My mother is my first priority. Her family was always her first priority, and we just want to care for her like she has cared for us.”

Indeed, Julia Congleton Bryant has become a living legacy for her parents and family. And in everything she does, she pays it forward.

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A Local Taste

Neighbors Feeding Neighbors Last summer, when the air was thick It looks like a helping hand, not a hand out.

Like moLasses and the heat shimmered It looks like education, not correction. off the oiL spots on the pavement, my It looks like love, not pity. famiLy spent an hour down It looks like the hands of Jesus. the street with some of our Once a month, we open our home to neighbors. a few, specific families for three hours They were having a sparkler party and on a Saturday morning. We provide the we’d been invited to burn three boxes of necessary groceries, 6-8 recipes, and the sparklers with them. instructions for putting together freezer We arrived at 8 p.m. to help them light meals that can go straight from the up the sky and while we were there, we freezer to the crock pot. made small talk. We’re good at small talk.

We are intentional with the families We chatted and after a few minutes, the we serve, making continual deposits of mama said one thing that took my pretty tangible hope over the course of years, little life and turned it upside down. not months.

“It’s hard to feed the kids during the And we do this because we believe that summer,” she said. “We just don’t have lives are changed when people feel loved, Lori Harris, a Rocky Mount enough to eat.” seen, heard and known. native, is a blogger with a We left their yard a little before 9 p.m.

Our hope is that our small community national audience and a and all the way home, our wheels were over on Avent Street would one day community advocate. She is married to Thad Harris, the turning. become a place where families thrive, biological mom to six, and How were we going to feed our where neighbors love one another and a neighborhood “mom” to neighbors? where hope springs forth.

It’s been nearly eight months since that countless kids (and adults) in If you’d like more information, please sparkler party and in eight short months, her community on Avent Street. visit http://loriharris.me/project-feed-awe’ve spent countless hours working neighbor/ and reworking a plan to not only fill tummies, but help families redeem the sacredness of a shared meal around the table.

Five months ago, we launched a small movement we call Feed A Neighbor.

Feed A Neighbor is a movement of people who desire to walk alongside families who need help filling their bellies.

We help families make the most of their resources by meeting people, right where they are, and giving them a new way of looking at what they have and what they have not. We provide assistance by way of sacks of groceries, tools for the kitchen, and crockpot/freezer meal classes.

Feed A Neighbor looks like a lot of different things, but at its core, it looks like loving your neighbor. It looks like one family, or an individual, seeking the welfare of another family or individual.

It looks like a relationship, not an organization.

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Feed a Neighbor Recipe One of Lori Harris favorite Feed A Neighbor recipes, Italian sausage and spinach soup, will taste great on your familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s table â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and even better when you share it. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a great recipe to put together and freeze and pull out later when you have a friend or neighbor in need.

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Mom to Mom

March madness offers parenting lesson College basketball is a lot like parenting. and while i’d like to think One game doesn’t make a season that i’m the dean smith of mothers, And one play doesn’t determine the game. depending on the day, i may Games aren’t won or lost by luck, one feel more like the water play or one player, but by a combination of boy. teamwork, experience and opportunity.

Whether on the court or on the bench Parenting is much the same way. We (or even in the nose-bleed section), my don’t craft “success” in our children (as schedule often seems to capture the measured by intelligence, kindness, or madness of the game. ingenuity, for example) in one season, let There are weeks when my To-Do list alone one practice. parallels a Final Four bracket. Some Children become “successful” by days I’m the Top Seed; others I’m the exercising their natural abilities over time.

Cinderella team. Days when I lead the One of the best things we can do to entire game but lose momentum in the ensure the success of our children is to final quarter. There are landslides and first recognize their strengths so that they losses, air balls and slam-dunks. can build upon them. Winning teams need Dr. Nichole Huff of Red Oak And I know I’m not alone. As parents, a diversity of talent: centers and point is a mother of two and is we do what we can to rally our teams guards, starters and substitutes, coaches an assistant professor and forward. and cheerleaders. extension specialist for youth Most days, however, are a race against and families at N.C. State. the shot clock. We have the ball but don’t Don’t throw in the towel – rally know whether to pass or shoot. We may As parents, it’s natural to feel like pull out a win, but it’s at the buzzer in overtime. Or throwing in the towel every now and then. Parenting is we’re playing the role of a referee caught in the middle hard work. After all, we’ve been entrusted to love, care of a jump ball violation (and no matter what call we for and nurture our children into adulthood, providing make, someone will boo in disappointment). for their physical and emotional needs. Not to mention It’s a good thing I like basketball. And motherhood. their safety, health and education (all the while feeding, Having watched my share of college hoops over the sheltering, and clothing them). years, I’ve learned a few lessons from the court that can No pressure, right? apply to parenting as well.

My husband earned his undergraduate degree from Western Kentucky University, home of the “Red Towel” All fouls aren’t intentional tradition. During basketball games and other athletic One of the reasons we’re able to love our children events, fans wave small red hand towels in the air to unconditionally is because we extend to them the rally on the Hilltoppers. So, when the exhaustion and benefit of the doubt. emotion of parenting feels overwhelming – don’t throw Younger children, especially, don’t disobey out of in your towel. Instead, rally it and remember that while spite or malice; rather they explore their worlds and the days can be long, the years will prove short. learn by trial and error. We discipline our children to teach them self-discipline. They aren’t born knowing The best coaches celebrate the smallest the rules of the game. victories.

As their coaches, we lead by example and Champions must be championed. Good coaches consistency. We extend grace and offer do-overs, reevaluate their measures of success from time-to-time, knowing that we increase their percentage at the freerecognizing that all players can be victorious. throw line by letting them take practice shots.

Like coaches, parents run the drills, design the plays,

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and call the time-outs.

Parenting requires that we coach our children, training ourselves to celebrate subtle victories (in us and them) that promote long-term wins.

What makes college basketballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s March Madness so exhilarating is that fans revel in the unknown. We applaud talent and hard work while betting on (and even celebrating) the upsets. As parents, shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t we do the same?

Dr. Nichole Huff (a former Carolina Tar Heel, East Carolina Pirate, and Kentucky Wildcat) is an Assistant Professor and Extension Specialist in the Department of Youth, Family, and Community Sciences at NC State University. Her areas of specialization include child development, parenting, and family communication. Nichole is a Nash County native who currently lives in Red Oak with her husband and two children. Visit her blog at soapboxmommy.com

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Health

Fight hunger pains with a healthy snack stash in your purse Say NO to the vending machine! Fight hunger pains and keep your energy level up by having a supply of healthy snacks in your purse â&#x20AC;&#x201C; eat on the go or at your desk.

Some healthy options include fruit, dried fruit, nuts, seeds, granola, yogurt, protein bars and dark chocolate. Water can also help you feel full and stave off hunger. Reach for a bottle of water first!

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