Inspiration!
Good Boy!! As you can imagine, with a new young rescue dog in my household, there’s been a lot of training going on. But who’s training whom?? Theo has learned to walk alongside me without pulling, but he still jumps up too much - and I can now see how well he has trained me. I thought he was getting better at playing my game of ‘Walk nicely by my side’. Until I noticed that despite my lowering the treat to his mouth, he would still spring up, all four paws off the ground, to eat it. No sooner were the words “Good boy” out of my mouth than the reward was in his, as he flew, rather than walked by my side. I realized I was playing his game and literally feeding his habit of jumping up, a behaviour I wanted to stop! Sometimes, he would even nudge my hand upwards and the reward would fall to the ground, which meant hanging around while he desperately sniffed the ground to retrieve it – hardly the smooth interaction it was meant to be. Now I bend right down as we walk, making sure all four paws stay on the ground as he takes his treat. It’s a pain, literally, in the short term. But he’s getting the message and it will be rewarding – for me! – in the long term. We train the people in our lives too, often in ways that we don’t like, because we do what’s easiest for us at the time, or just don’t stop to think of the impact of what we’re doing! Whether it’s unwanted behaviours that we shrug off or mentally excuse, or ways of talking to each other that spiral into arguments, we have habitual ways of being that we don’t realize are
getting in the way of what’s really important to us. Or we might think we have agreement on our request, and suddenly realise the other person has hijacked our conversation and we’re in a situation we can’t handle. For example, we might want to bring up our children to be responsible, co-operative members of our family. But when we keep picking up stuff they leave lying around because we’re tired of asking them to do so, we’re teaching them to ignore conversations they don’t want to hear, and training them not to bother to clear up after themselves. Or hang on a minute … Could they be training us?? Do you avoid challenging situations because they might lead to disharmony, disagreement or distress? I highly recommend Difficult Conversations, How To Discuss What Matters Most. It shows what’s really going on in tough conversations and gives great advice for tackling them. Take time to talk things through,
Sonia Duggan CPCC PCC CPQC
PS - Are difficult conversations outside your comfort zone? Call or email me to claim a 50% discount on an Inspiration! coaching session when you mention LookLocal Weybridge.
Coaching with Inspiration! 01932 849309 07779 064646
info@inspirationcoaching.biz www.inspirationcoaching.biz @inspirationbiz Looklocal Magazine - June 2021 27
