Jan Feb 2013

CULTURE

LIFESTYLE

6x

SOUTHERN ALBERTA

YEAR

JAN FEB 2013

COOL RUNNINGS

Sled Dogs and Skijoring

A Day in Life

Okotoks

EMS

Tales from NUNAVUT

2Spicy Recipes East Indian Cuisine

PM 41979554

.ca

Dinner Out ,no wine = $75

Live Theater, for one = $75

...remember to decorate your life...

New Shoes = $75

A Whole New Look = $75/hr 403.818.3184

4655 - 37 St. SW (One Block North of Glenmore Trail) Best Winter & Summer Gear for Mountain Fun!

X-C Skiing Backpacking Hiking

2

www.NorsemanSki.com routesmagazine.ca

JAN FEB 2013

(403) 249-5451

“Western Canadian Retailer of 2011”

103 - 3 Ave SW, High River 403.652.1162

austenjewellers.com

JAN FEB 2013

FEATURES

6 Cool Runnings

Dog Sledding and Skijoring

20 Rest Assured

Gravestone Engraving

23 East Indian Cuisine

Junction House Cafe and Market

26 A Day in the Life Okotoks EMS

DEPARTMENTS

14 Arts & Entertainment Spotlight on Talent

16 Book: Boundary 18 Book: Soup Sisters Cookbook pg.30 Photo by Peter Worden

30 Detours

The Nunavut Experiment

6x

CULTURE

LIFESTYLE

A RN ALBERT

SOUTHE

YEAR

2013 JAN FEB

COLUMNS

12 Stargazing

COOL

Jupiter, King of the Planets

INGS R U N sNand Skijoring Sled Dog

A Day in Life EMS otoks

Ok

Tales from

T NUNAVU

2Spicy Recipes

ian Cuisine East Ind

PM 41979554

Cover photo: Roy, guide with Mad Dog and Englishmen Expeditions, skijoring at Mount Shark, Kananaskis

by Neville Palmer.

24 Fifty Shades of Fitness

Editor’s Note

We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.” ~Herman Melville

January | February 2013 Issue #20

Publisher Routes Media Inc. Executive Editor Sandra Wiebe

B

eing an independent publisher in a small town has its benefits and its struggles. On the plus side, almost daily I am fortunate to be able to personally visit with local shop owners. These are my friends and neighbours. They are supporting their children and planning holidays and retirement around their businesses; businesses that often began as a special talent or a desire to do something unique.

Many choose to work close to home and work for themselves in order to have more family time, or they desire a path that is life–work balanced, not work dominated.

On the challenging side, finding time to socialize is hard enough, but finding time do social media piles on that ‘shoulddo’ list. Still, I know how important it is.

Through social media I get bits and pieces of what’s going on in the community, outside my own little circle of activities.

From business tweets and posts there is information on the usual fundraisers and sales, new items and things of interest.

But lately, the posts that have been catching my attention are the ones surrounding the closing of yet another business; another fellow entrepreneur who poured heart and soul into a passion found him or herself closing shop for one reason or another. It is not until the store is gone that people say they miss that shop, or as it winds down they show up to that going out of business sale. Why don’t we invest in our friends and neighbours? This is what it takes to keep our small communities strong and vibrant.

I have to be cliché and say shop local – it’s not all about getting the best deal, it’s about supporting each other.

Take a look at our advertisers and you’ll see the faces and hearts of your neighbours. Take a look at the amazing activities, concerts, and events happening right here in our community and remember – it’s the people who make the place great.

Do more than shop local, be local!

And don’t forget your routes…

Sandra Wiebe Publisher/Executive Editor

Copy Editor Pat Fream Art Director Sharon Syverson Photographer Neville Palmer Sales Melissa Driver sales@routesmedia.ca Contributors James Durbano, Pat Fream, Veronica Kloiber, Lori Lavallee, Trenda Tyschuck, Peter Worden Proofreader Doris Daley

Routes Media Inc. 19 – 3 Ave. SE High River, AB T1V 1G3 Ph: 403.652.1100 ext 102 info@routesmedia.ca Subscriptions: 1 year: $18.90 (GST incl.)

2 years: $29.40 (GST incl.)

Routes magazine publishes 13,000 copies, six times per year.

They are distributed throughout southern Alberta via Wall2Wall Media, local retailers and by subscription.

We want to hear from you.

Please post comments on stories at www.routesmagazine.ca Printing by TC Printing For permission to reprint articles, excerpts or photographs, please email info@routesmedia.ca Copyright © 2013 All rights reserved.

Non-deliverables, please return to:

Routes Media Inc. 19 - 3 ave SE, High River, AB T1V 1G3 Canada Post Publications #41979554

4

Sandra Wiebe with dogs Jack and Shia Photo by Neville Palmer

routesmagazine.ca

JAN FEB 2013

Contributors

Since only the girls could get together for a contributors photo we decided to have some retro fun at the salon!

A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.� -Coco Chanel

Left to right: Pat Fream, Melissa Driver, Sharon Syverson, Sandra Wiebe.

Photo by Neville Palmer at Vespucci, High River.

Lori Lavallee is a content strategist specializing in web development.

Educated in BC and the Maritimes, and living in the land of the wind turbines since 2000. Her feature articles have been published in various trade and literary journals including Canadian Grocer, Danforth Review, and Prairie Books NOW. She has an interest in the culture of death and enjoys the park-like setting of cemeteries. Her son Luka learned to ride his bike in Archmount cemetery in Lethbridge.

Veronica Kloiber is a writer, mother and soon to be butcher. She happily lives in Black Diamond with her sweet little family and ample following of house dogs. Her favourite topics for articles are ones that bring adventure, however vicarious. The next action items on her bucket list are to fly in a glider plane and spend a night or two in the bush with her sister and our horses.

5

Peter Worden is sampling the Great White North - Nanton Experiment style. From newswriting to blowing big bucks on bacon, Peter is reportedly having a blast. Watch for his return sometime after the groundhog declares spring. routesmagazine.ca

JAN

FEB

2013

Cover Story

COOL

RUNNINGS

By Veronica Kloiber

6

Photo courtesy of Mad Dog and Englishmen Expeditions

routesmagazine.ca

JAN FEB 2013

He may not be living in the land of the midnight sun, but dog sled owner and operator Russell Donald is living his life just the way he likes it in Canmore.

A I never intended to get involved in this... but I was invited to meet the dogs and they just blew me away.”

man walks into a bar and orders three sled dogs.

True story, kind of.

The man is Russell Donald and while he didn’t order any dogs that day he did leave with a new calling. While on a visit to the Rockies from his home in Edmonton, Donald struck up a conversation with a musher.

You may know the kind: a bit frostbitten, partial to hats with earflaps made of animal fur, who relishes in strapping a pack of dogs in front of a sled and heading out into the wilderness at top dog speed.

The musher invited Donald to check out the Sled Dog Classic in Canmore, and the rest, as they say, is history.

So began Donald's 20-year affair with dog sledding and skijoring.

“I never intended to get involved in this,” admitted Donald, “but I was invited to meet the dogs and they just blew me away. Coming from England I’d never seen anything like this.”

For the first two seasons, Donald, still residing in Edmonton, lived all year with great anticipation of those few days in February in Canmore. With rigs showing up from places that never see snow, including Arizona and New Mexico, an idea began to form. If desert dwellers could figure out how to run sled dogs, maybe a British expat could join the game.

After another season of running 500-mile races, Donald knew.

“It was absolutely enthralling,” said Donald. “The lifestyle was fantastic, I was hooked.”

There are strange things done by the men who run dog sleds. Apparently mushers are a bighearted lot, giving Donald his first three dogs, all huskies. Those original three soon doubled in number and with this growing pack he started a skijoring business. A business, which began much the same way as his dogsledding enterprise.

Strapping on skis and rigging up behind dogs bred to pull sounds like a bit of a lark, but remember, there are no brakes. If you go down you’re in for a bumpy ride until the dogs notice the drag. That’s skijoring and that is exactly how Donald got his first taste of it, face first, skidding along behind his dogs.

routesmagazine.ca

JAN

FEB

7

2013

Cover Story

It was absolutely enthralling...

The lifestyle was fantastic, I was hooked.”

“I had such a time I started a business,” quipped Donald, who figured if this new career turned out to be a bust at least he was having fun.

His best advice on skijoring: make sure you know how to ski first. It has happened before that customers come for a lesson without any idea how to stay upright.

“It’s not a free ride, skijoring,” explains Donald. The sensation is like water skiing and without cross-country or downhill ski experience you won’t know how to adjust your balance.

Donald’s credentials are hard to beat. He holds the unofficial record of longest distance travelled with the most dogs while skijoring (nine kilometres, 12 dogs). The details still need to be ironed out with the Guinness Book of World Records but proof can be found online: video footage of Donald skijoring with a dozen dogs across a frozen lake.

He is also the founding member of the first British National Skijoring Team. They competed in 2001 in Fairbanks, Alaska. Donald laughingly admitted it went about as well as the Jamaican bobsled team’s 1988 performance in the Winter Olympics in Calgary, but either way it sounds good on paper.

Photos by Neville Palmer

8

Skijoring (ski-jur-ing) is a winter sport in which a dog (or up to three dogs) assist in propelling a cross-country skier. The skier wears a skijoring belt, the dogs wear harnesses and they are connected by a rope. The skier provides power using skis and poles and the dogs join the motion by running and pulling.

There are no reins or measures for controlling the dogs; they respond to verbal direction and their innate desire to run.

routesmagazine.ca

JAN FEB 2013

Skijoring is a Norwegian word that means ski-driving. The sport can be traced back hundreds of years in Norway where people used to ski while being pulled by horses.

Today, skijoring is both a competitive sport – vying for Olympic status - and a recreational sport, involving both long distance travel and short (sprint) distances.

While some breeds of dogs are naturals at skijoring (e.g. northern breeds such as Alaskan Huskies (shown here), Malamutes, Siberian Huskies and Inuit dogs), any sort of athletic dog with the energy and a desire to run can be trained in this sport.

9

routesmagazine.ca

JAN

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2013

His company, Mad Dogs and Englishmen Expeditions, an adventure dog sledding and skijoring outfit offers day or afternoon trips in the Bow Valley, as well as expedition length tours. Customers are not exclusively adventure-seekers; the British Army is also a client with soldiers participating in military training, survival skills and team building.

The company's kennels are home to about 100 dogs.

Only 70 are actually working, the rest are either in training or enjoying their retirement. Donald’s dogs typically live long into their teens and while they can still run and pull a sled, that exercise is no longer required of them.

If the dogs aren’t enough, he and his wife Dawn are pursuing a shared passion for cooking. With a Burmese grandmother and a father born and raised in India, Donald's history is steeped in curries. Under the name, A Russell Donald Curry, Canmore and area residents have been enjoying spice kits, samosas and other East Indian delights for years.

So here’s the punch line. This man, Russell Donald, is a paragon of living your dream. Perhaps he won’t see it this way, but from an outsider’s perspective he is doing exactly as he pleases, no midnight sun required.

10

Photo by Neville Palmer

routesmagazine.ca

JAN FEB 2012

HigH RiveR Agency

Cross Country

Ski Basics

#5, 28 – 12th Avenue SE High River, Alberta Ph: 403-652-1426 Monday – Friday: 10:00 am – 3:30 pm

Classic Nordic Skiing is good fun and an unequalled cardio workout. There are many advantages to this activity, including easy access to groomed scenic paths, low or no fees, and no need to contend with crowds or lift lines. Techniques can be self-taught but taking a lesson will enhance your enjoyment.

The Gear

New Patients Welcome

Evening and Saturday Appointments Available

Dr. Vicki McMullen

Dr. Scott Spackman

Invisalign Zoom Whitening Digital X-Rays PROGRESSIVE FAMILY DENTISTRY

403-603-3364

201,103-3 Avenue SW, High River

Cosmetic Dentistry Implants Conscious Sedation

www.signaturesmilesdentistry.ca

Signature Smiles is pleased to welcome Skis Today’s classic skisto are highlyand engineered Dr. Scott Spackman our team our devices that fulfill two functions: to grip the community. snow and to glide. The weight and the skill Scott is accepting new patients and level of the skier determine ski type and offers evening and Saturday hours length.

A lightweight skier on hardin skis will not addition regular week hours be able to to our properly grip the day snow, andof consenot glide, as the kick zone will simply 8quently am – 5 pm. be out of service. A heavy skier on soft skis will Dr. Vicki McMullen opened Signature grip but not glide, as the kicking zone will drag Smiles in June, 2007, having worked in on the snow.

High River since 2001. She is very community andneeds, supportive of and Buy skis for oriented your current skill level activity.

The shorter the skis, the easier they local businesses. are to handle; the longer they are the faster As most of our staff has grown up in they go. More important than length is how this area, we are a familiar face to most of they flex for you. Make sure you deal with a our patients. knowledgeable, experienced salesperson. The Weshould pride be ourselves in customer skis fitted using proper instruments, not theand archaic paper test. service provide a friendly, relaxed atmosphere.Your satisfaction is our first Hard-core skiers will always wax their skis priority and we strive to meet the unique for better performance to suit the conditions. needs of every patient.

Waxing is tricky around the freezing point; Wealook forward to what establishing take clinic to learn works for you and the conditions you maywith encounter. long-term relationships our patients.

Once you come to our office, we are Back-country skiing and skate skiing (free confident that you will send your family style) require different kinds of skis, boots, and friends to us and as well. bindings, poles even clothing. Make sure you get properly equipped for the unique conditions and environment.

Boots Cost and style are FAMILY the least important priorPROGRESSIVE DENTISTRY ity when buying boots. Buy boots based on comfort.

Accessories and Clothing Wear a base layer, a second layer and a shell, and keep a fourth layer in the daypack, just in case. All layers should be light and breathable.

Avoid cotton; its long drying time will make you cold after you perspire. For bottoms, you need two layers: long johns and a shell.

Trail dos and don’ts

403-601-6671(direct line) lboulton@southernrealty.ca RE/MAX Southern Realty 403-652-4020 19 - 3 Ave SE High River, Alberta

• • • •

Skiers going down the trail have priority.

Keep right at all times, except to pass.

Keep dogs and foot traffic off set tracks.

Smile and say hello to other skiers on the trail. You share the best show on earth.

11

- Provided by Alec Bialski, The Norseman Ski Shop, Calgary

routesmagazine.ca

JAN

FEB

2013

Stargazing

King of the Planets

By James Durbano

Photo courtesy of NASA

Jupiter is a bright planet and a great target for anyone just starting off in astronomy. You will be able to see its four largest moons and its dark equatorial cloud belts through your telescope, or even with a pair of binoculars.

L

ook for Jupiter in the eastern sky after sunset in early January.

By late-January, it will be in the southeastern sky and by the end of February it will be in the southern sky.

It’s easy to spot Jupiter because of its extreme brightness. It looks like a gleaming beacon and currently it outshines everything in the evening sky, except the moon.

Point your telescope to Jupiter and see if you can locate its four large moons lined up on either side of it. The moons are named Io, Europa, Ganymede and Callisto and collectively they are known as the Galilean Satellites in honour of Galileo who discovered them in 1610.

The moons dance around Jupiter in a beautifully choreographed manner

and sometimes they pass in front of it or behind, so not all four are always visible.

If you observe Jupiter hour by hour or night after night it is possible to track the changes in the moons.

Ask any kid in grade six and they will tell you that Jupiter is the biggest planet in the solar system, but did you know that it is bigger than all of the other planets combined? It truly is the king of the planets! So get out there and take a look at Jupiter tonight. Even if you don’t have a telescope or binoculars you will be impressed by its sheer brilliance.

As an added bonus, if you observe Jupiter on the evening of January 21 you will see the waxing Gibbous moon located less than one degree away. This event is called a conjunction. A Jupiter-moon

conjunction happens once a month, but this conjunction is a rather close one and that makes it all the more spectacular to observe. Enjoy!

This table indicates when you can see all four Galilean Satellites located on the same side of Jupiter.

DATE January 9 January 19 January 30 February 2 February 9 February 14 February 23 February 28

START TIME 6 p.m.

6 p.m.

11:45 p.m.

6:15 p.m.

6:15 p.m.

6:30 p.m.

9:15 p.m.

7:00 p.m.

DURATION 10 hours 4 hours 3 hours 8 hours 8 hours 2 hours 4 hours 6 hours

You can track the Galilean Satellites on your iPhone or iPad. Check out the JupiterMoons app in the App Store.

The true colour mosaic of the Jupiter App was constructed from images taken by the narrow angle camera onboard NASA's Cassini spacecraft on December 29, 2000, during its closest approach to the giant planet at a distance of approximately 10 million kilometers.

12 James Durbano is an astronomer who specializes in education and public outreach activities. He has been keeping an eye on the sky for more than 25 years and enjoys sharing the wonders of the universe with others. He is the founder of the Big Sky Astronomical Society and operates a small business called Astronomer 4 Hire.

routesmagazine.ca

JAN FEB 2013

For Your New Home Needs!

Box 5173 High River, AB T1V 1M4

Homes that think ahead.

403.603.0121 farrellyhomes.com

HIGH RIVER • Self Storage Bays Ranging from 5’ x 10’ to 10’ x 30’ • Secure Outdoor RV Parking / On Site Management

403-601-0541

info@goldenviewstorage.com www.goldenviewstorage.com

Thank you to those who anonymously nominated me for the Okotoks and District Chamber of Commerce Professional Service Award. It has been an honour to serve the Okotoks community and I wish everyone happiness and health for 2013.

Dr. Lori Darroch CHIROPRACTOR Call 403-938-2230 or email lori@drdarroch.com #6 - 87 Elizabeth Street Okotoks AB T1S 1B7 www.drdarroch.com

Homes • Cottages • Additions 13

RODNEY GREEN

403-601-9439

WWW.WILLOWCREEKTIMBERFRAME.COM rodney@willowcreektimberframe.com

routesmagazine.ca

JAN

FEB

2013

Arts & Entertainment

Janice Tanton

Jan 6

Cross Country Ski

Peter Lougheed Provincial Park Learn efficient techniques for flat terrain and get started in classic cross country skiing. $75 www.norsemanski.com [KS]

Looking Glass Duo

Flare n Derrick Community Hall A classical matinee performance. 3 pm www.beneaththearch.ca [DV]

Backyard Betties Janice Tanton and Bruno Canadien

Jan 11

Okotoks Art Gallery Large Gallery: "Camp" by Janice Tanton and Small Gallery: "Inviolable" by Bruno Canadien. Reception from 7-9 pm www.okotoksculture.ca [OK]

The Ruminants

Calgary Philharmonic in Okotoks II

Rotary Performing Arts Centre A small ensemble of musicians will perform an interactive recital. www.okotoksculture.ca [OK]

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Old Fashioned Outdoor Skating Party

Jan 13

Okotoks Recreation Centre The outdoor family fun with ice skating, hot chocolate and a fire pit to stay warm.

1 -3 pm www.okotoks.ca [OK]

routesmagazine.ca

Jan 19

Okotoks United Church Adults $25, under 12 $10 www.aroomfullofsound.com [OK]

JAN FEB 2013

Jan 20

Highwood Memorial Centre Great Fashion show and vendors to help make your wedding day complete. Free admission. 1 pm www.cottonwoodbridal.com [HR]

Jan 24 Keeping your Finances Afloat

Okotoks Public Library Chart your course by closing the gaps of debt reduction, estate planning, investments, real estate and mortgage management, 7-8 pm, Free. www.okotokslibrary.ca [OK]

Jim Peace

Gitter’s Pub www.gitterspub.com [HR]

Jan 27

Diamond Valley Soup Sisters

Diamond Willow Artisan Retreat Gather together to make nuturing and nourishing soup in support of Rowan House Emergency Shelter. www.diamondwillowartisantretreat.com [DV]

Feb 1

Don Wilson

Mariel Buckley, Minerva, Mabels

Bridal Fair

Jan 13

Jan 18

Gitter’s Pub www.gitterspub.com [HR]

Jan 11

Gitters Pub www.gitterspub.com [HR]

Jan 13

Jan 25

Gitter’s Pub www.gitterspub.com [HR]

Feb 2

100 Mile House in Concert

Okotoks Rotary Performing Arts Centre This trio of musicians has been winning over audiences with their energetic and intimate live shows. www.okotoksculture.ca [OK]

Winter Walk Day

Feb 6

Pason Centennial Arena Get Active! All residents are encouraged to take some time to stop in and walk at the indoor track at Pason Centennial Arena. www.okotoks.ca [OK]

Rob Hollis Trio

Feb 8

Gitter’s Pub

www.gitterspub.com [HR]

[OK] Okotoks [HR] High River [MS] Mossleigh [LV] Longview [NT] Nanton [CH] Claresholm [KK] Kananaskis

[FM] Fort MacLeod [PS] Priddis [BC] Bragg Creek [DV] Diamond Valley [MV] Millarville [CY] Calgary [SY] Stavely

Arts & Entertainment

Mark Berube and the Patriotic Few

Feb 9

Bragg Creek Centre Orchestral jazz-folk, music that goes beyond the orchestral sound. $27, 8 pm www.braggcreekperformingarts.com [BC]

Aspen Crossing A Valentine's day comedy with performances are February 14-16 with a matinee on the 16, Evening shows at 6 pm $65-$75 www.aspencrossing.com [MS]

Feb 9

Jim McLennan, Amy Thiessen, and Carla Luft Okotoks United Church Adults $25, under 12 $10 www.aroomfullofsound.com [OK]

The Once

Feb 9

Flare n Derrick Community Hall The Once is a folk trio based out of St. John’s, Newfoundland, featuring Geraldine Hollett, Phil Churchill and Andrew Dale. www.beneaththearch.ca [DV]

NDC Blues Band

Feb 10

Louise Pitre

Feb 14-15

Empress Theatre Tony Award nominee (Broadway debut in Mamma Mia) Louise brings her outstanding talents to southern Alberta with an intimate concert. www.empresstheatre.ab.ca [FM]

Featuring NDC Blues Band, Grade 7 and junior concert bands. Admission by donation.

3 pm www.ndcfinearts.com [HR]

Feb 10

High River United Church Violinist Jasper Wood and guitarist Daniel Bolshoy invite you to a musical rendezvous celebrating Paris, with a program featuring music by the composers who made Paris their home in the early 1900s. 3 pm www.highrivergiftofmusic.com [HR]

we k

our music lives here, t to th e b e e r e e p it ri g h t n e x

Feb 15

Joelle

Gitter’s Pub www.gitterspub.com [HR]

Feb 17

Jim and Lynda McLennan

Diamond Willow Artisan Retreat

Notre Dame Collegiate

Duo Rendezvous: Café Paris

Feb 14

"Love in Training" Dinner Theatre

House Concert Turner Valley, 2 pm www.diamondwillowartisanretreat.com [DV]

Enter your event at www.routesmagazine.ca [OK] Okotoks [HR] High River [MS] Mossleigh [LV] Longview [NT] Nanton [CH] Claresholm [KK] Kananaskis

[FM] Fort MacLeod [PS] Priddis [BC] Bragg Creek [DV] Diamond Valley [MV] Millarville [CY] Calgary [SY] Stavely

Great Food • Great People • Great Music

112 - 4th Ave. W., High River 403.652.4995 www.gitterspub.com

Step Out

High River

Bridal Fair Jan. 20th, 1pm @ The Highwood Memorial Centre, High River

Check out our new website launching in December

www.highrivermusicfestival.org

Festival Dates:

March 4 - 22, 2013 Deadline for Entries

January 14, 2013

Watch our website, or find us on www.twitter.com/MusicFestivalHR www.facebook.com/MusicFestivalHR

ottonwood ridal ormals

15

403.652.4993 110 3rd Ave SW, High River

www.cottonwoodbridal.com routesmagazine.ca

JAN

FEB

2013

Arts & Entertainment

Spotlight

onTalent BOOK

Calgary Philharmonic in Okotoks III

Feb 17

Okotoks Rotary Performing Arts Centre A small ensemble of musicians from the CPO perform an interactive recital, starting at 3 PM. www.okotoksculture.ca [OK]

Feb 22

Mich O'Connell

Gitter’s Pub www.gitterspub.com [HR]

Feb 23

Jesse Wall, Hutchison Trio, June Bugs

Okotoks United Church Adults $25, under 12 $10 www.aroomfullofsound.com [OK]

Boundary Road

by Gord Cummings

This coming of age story follows the protagonist through Southern Alberta from Brooks to Calgary. Boundary Road tells the story of Jeremy, an isolated young man who, while growing up on the prairies, medicates himself with alcohol and falls into fruitless friendships and juvenile pursuits in a desperate attempt to escape his reality.

When Jeremy finds himself in a close relationship with his social studies teacher, he learns there is more to education than the class curriculum.

What appears to be overstepping by Ms. Hammond ends up helping a lost boy learn about love, sex, respect and critical thinking.

16

Boundary Road is Gord Cummings' first novel and was inspired by his upbringing in Bassano, Alberta. Gord's previous work has been in independent comic books where he has made a name for himself and been published in numerous anthologies throughout North America. Gord is a social worker who resides in Calgary.

routesmagazine.ca

JAN FEB 2013

Feb 25 - Mar 1 The Loft: Black Box Gallery Theatre Notre Dame Collegiate Student Art Show www.ndcfinearts.com [HR]

Chart Your Course - Real Estate Investing

Feb 28

Okotoks Public Library Now may be the right time to map out your course for success in purchasing a revenue property, 7-8 pm, free. www.okotokslibrary.ca [OK]

Lions Music Festival

Mar 4-22

High River The High River and District Lions Music Festival, an annual event since 1979, promotes over 1,000 musicians and speech-art performers. www.highrivermusicfestival.org [HR]

Enter your event at www.routesmagazine.ca [OK] Okotoks [HR] High River [MS] Mossleigh [LV] Longview [NT] Nanton [CH] Claresholm [KK] Kananaskis

[FM] Fort MacLeod [PS] Priddis [BC] Bragg Creek [DV] Diamond Valley [MV] Millarville [CY] Calgary [SY] Stavely

Spotlight

onTalent BOOK

MARCH 14 -15 2013 CARRIAGE HOUSE INN, CALGARY

THE FUTURE OF PUBLISHING IS NOW Expand your knowledge, skillsTRANSCONTINENTAL and networks in editorial, design, digital media, circulation, sales and the business of publishing.

MEDIA Visit albertamagazines.com/conference for details

– bANNER SPONSORS – TRANSCONTINENTAL PRINTING

By Sharon Hapton with Pierre A. Lamielle

– FEATURE SPONSORS –

T

– CONTRibUTiNG SPONSORS –

AMPA acknowledges the financial support of the Government of Canada through the Canada Periodical Fund (CPF) of the Department of Canadian Heritage, as well as the Government of Alberta through the Alberta Multimedia Development Fund.

Reaching: *New Residents *Expectant Mothers *New Mothers *Brides-To-Be *New Businesses *Job Opportunities

Soup Sisters Cookbook #2

For your gift basket with civic and business information and invitations phone:

High River Black Diamond & Turner Valley Danielle 403.862.0724

Okotoks

Adele & Chantelle 403.938.2532

he Soup Sisters Cookbook showcases delectable soup recipes from many of Canada's top celebrity chefs, including Michael Stadtlander, Bonnie Stern, Lucy Waverman, Massimo Capra, Anna Olson, Michael Bonacini and Elizabeth Baird. The pages are filled with gorgeous photographs by Julie Van Rosendaal and illustrations by Pierre A. Lamielle. The book also offers advice on making and storing stock, and the essential ingredients, techniques and equipment required for excellent soup making. A perfect winter warm-up!

Calgarian Sharon Hapton founded Soup Sisters in 2009 with the simple philosophy that compassion can be whipped up in a pot and ladled into the lives of women and children who are abused or distressed. Look for a Soup Sisters event near you or visit www.soupsisters.org.

17

www.welcomewagon.ca routesmagazine.ca

JAN

FEB

2013

THE Place for Live Music

Please call us or visit our website for more information about our exciting winter programs and exhibits including: Fabulous Fourth Avenue Two Bucks: The Demise of the Deuce Chop Suey on the Prairies: A Reflection on Chinese Restaurants. (until February 10, 2013)

MANY FACES. MANY STORIES.

Saturday Nov 17, 2012 7:30 pm

Steve Pineo’s Elvis Show

SUNDAY Jan 13, 2013, 3:00 pm

Looking Glass Duo

Classical Matinee Performance

Join us in the WARM former CPR station in downtown High River.

Open year round: Monday to Saturday: 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Sunday: noon to 4 p.m.

406 1 Street S.W., High River • 403-652-7156 info@museumofthehighwood.com • www.museumofthehighwood.com

Saturday Feb 9, 2013 7:30pm

The Once

Our Baby Impressions

Saturday Mar 23, 2013 7:30pm

Harry Manx

Paul Reddick Weber Bros Band 18

routesmagazine.ca

JAN FEB 2013

call Jean 403-684-3067 or 403-990-3067

available at STUDIO IMPRESSIONS Blackie, AB

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403.652.7771 101-416 Centre St. SE High River www.highwoodnaturalfoods.com routesmagazine.ca

JAN

FEB

2013

Feature

By Lori Lavallee

Cris Picco has mapped out almost every cemetery in southern Alberta, not because he’s a genealogist or anything like it, but because he’s an artist, a craftsman and a dutiful inscriber of the final details of someone’s life.

D

20

Illustration by Sharon Syverson

riving down Scenic Drive in Lethbridge I have an impulse to turn into Mount View Cemetery. While admiring the symmetry of the white headstones and reading a few inscriptions, the sound of a nearby air compressor starting up catches my attention and I spot a guy in an orange safety vest engaged in a task that is curiously foreign to me.

After introductions I learn that Cris Picco is a mobile headstone engraver.

I quickly get a sense that he’s proud of what he does and that there’s a certain honour in it. “A lot of people think it’s morbid,” he admits, but clearly he is a man with a more practical nature. “Yes, there are people buried here but I see it as a bunch of stones above the ground.

What’s below the ground is part of the earth to me.”

When people learn what he does for a living, says Cris, an engaging conversation usually ensues. “No one ever thinks about who does the engraving. It’s almost like these things magically appear.”

The monuments he works on are mainly companion markers, indicating that the remains of two people will be buried in close proximity, sharing a marker. The names and birthdates of both intended candidates are generally inscribed when the headstone is manufactured, with the years of death inscribed later as required. Adding these dates is Cris’s job and it’s not always as straightforward as it sounds.

When Cris sets out to perform his craft he sometimes finds himself in some of the most obscure and forgotten burial grounds in the province. “A lot of cemeteries you just can’t find on Google maps,” says Cris, adding that often he has to depend on verbal instructions that don’t exactly match the road. One of his most memorable experiences was when the directions were so complicated that

routesmagazine.ca

JAN FEB 2013

in order to find his way back he took a photo of every intersection he came to.

Not unlike a tattoo artist adding to an existing design, his task is to somehow bring harmony to a piece of artwork that was originally crafted in another place and time.

“Quite often the original lettering has been handset, created from reused templates,” says Cris. The font may be distorted and difficult to match, as is the depth of the previous inscription.

This is the way things were done prior to the introduction of Computer-Aided Design (CAD) hardware and software in the late 1990s.

Chris began his work at Sunset Memorial & Stone Ltd. (Calgary) as a design assistant in 1997, just as the company was transitioning to CAD designs.

Back then mobile engraving services did not exist. When new inscriptions needed to be added to existing headstones, the monuments were removed from the cemetery and worked on at the shop. In addition to the risk of damage during removal and transportation, reinstallation was costly.

Hoping to improve the process, the company started to make rubbings from the existing stones on location. The stencil would then be cut at the shop and brought back to the cemetery, where it wouldn’t necessarily match. The changes offered some improvements, but there were still some issues, such as the bulky truck-mounted sandblasting equipment that included a compressor and a long cumbersome hose. Over time a more compact system was devised.

When ownership of Sunset changed hands in 2010, Cris decided to offer mobile engraving services himself. In addition to investing in sandblasting equipment, he set up his vehicle with a scanner, computer and stencil cutter.

Now after getting a rubbing Cris can scan

the existing design and create a layout for the new inscription on location. Once he transfers the design to a rubberized stencil he can cut it and secure it to the stone in preparation for sandblasting. He’s even been able to inscribe over an open grave before the interment.

“That’s the best service I can provide and I think it has a huge impact on the family,” he says. “They can see it is done and it’s one less detail they have to follow up on after their loss.”

When words on a gravestone are complete, Cris knows he has inscribed

No one ever thinks about who does the engraving...

It’s almost like these things magically appear.”

the final details of someone’s life and provided his solemn duty in a proud tradition of craftsmanship.

From his pocket he retrieves a camera and takes a picture of his work, not just to get paid, but to record this last documented message from the deceased to their loved ones. Families can take comfort knowing that the final details have been recorded. Rest assured.

Highwood Property Services Construction & Drywalling Cheryl Goldthorpe 403.652.3662 509 C Centre St SW High River

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21

highriverdental.ca routesmagazine.ca

JAN

FEB

2013

Food

The Junction House Café and Market Enticing travellers with the sweet smells of East Indian cuisine

By Veronica Kloiber

Curry is not what springs to mind when one mentions Dead Man’s Flats. People often speed past this slip of a hamlet perched between the Bow River and the TransCanada, so many are unaware of the East Indian delights hidden beyond exit 98.

At The Junction House Café and Market, Russell Donald and his wife Dawn welcome curry-starved travellers with the rich fragrances of cardamom and coriander. For the past 16 years Russell has been selling spice kits, samosas, chutneys and pickles to the good people of Canmore.

22

Now the mouthwatering aromas stirred up by the couple are enticing not only Bow Valley locals, but also day trippers and tourists who are making the restaurant a go-to destination for exotic eats. The menu is ample but not so huge that it makes deciding a chore. The Donalds have wisely included timeless favourites such as burgers, stews and fish and chips for those who can’t or won’t eat curry. Next time you find yourself near Dead Man’s Flats, consider a pit stop in at The Junction House. Or at the very least, open your windows as you barrel past to catch the sweet scent of garam masala on the frosty Bow Valley air.

routesmagazine.ca

JAN FEB 2013

Aloo Gobi

Chicken Tikka Masala

Serves: 4-6

Serves: 4-6

Ingredients: ¼ cup vegetable oil 1 large onion, peeled and cut into small pieces 1 bunch fresh coriander, separated into stalks and leaves and roughly chopped 1 small green chili pepper, chopped into small pieces (or 1 tsp chili powder) 1 large cauliflower cut evenly into eighths 3 large potatoes, peeled and cut into even pieces 2 small cans diced 1 tbsp fresh ginger, peeled and grated 2 garlic cloves, chopped 1 tsp cumin seeds 2 tsp turmeric 1 tsp salt 2 tsp garam masala

Marinade for Chicken Ingredients: 1 cup yogurt 1 tbsp lemon juice 2 tsp ground cumin 1 tsp ground cinnamon 2 tsp cayenne pepper 2 tsp freshly ground black pepper 1 tbsp minced fresh ginger 4 tsp salt, or to taste 3 boneless skinless chicken breasts cut into bite-sized pieces 4 long skewers

(potato and cauliflower curry)

Recipes by Dawn and Russell Donald Photos by Neville Palmer

This appetizer sampler consists of samosas and onion Bhajiis, both can be purchased frozen in the market area at Junction House.

These items and spice kits can easily be prepared at home.

These two special buffets items are easily prepared with items you may already have in your pantry.

Method: • Heat vegetable oil in a large saucepan then add chopped onion and cumin seeds to the oil.

• Stir together and cook until onions become golden and translucent.

• Add chopped coriander stalks, turmeric and salt.

• Add chopped chilis (to taste) and stir tomatoes into onion mixture.

• Add ginger and garlic and mix thoroughly.

• Add potatoes and cauliflower to the sauce plus a few tablespoons of water (ensuring that the mixture doesn't stick to the saucepan).

• Stir to coat vegetables with curry sauce.

• Ensure that the potatoes and cauliflower are coated with the curry sauce.

• Cover and simmer, add garam masala and stir.

• Turn off heat, cover and let the curry sit for 20 minutes to let the flavours blend.

• Serve warm and top with coriander leaves.

Tomato Cream Sauce Ingredients: 1 tbsp butter 1 clove garlic, minced 1 jalapeno pepper, finely chopped 2 tsp ground cumin 2 tsp paprika 3 tsp salt, or to taste 1 small can tomato sauce 1 cup heavy cream ¼ cup chopped fresh cilantro Method: • In a large bowl, combine yogurt, lemon juice, cumin, cinnamon, cayenne, black pepper, ginger and salt.

• Stir in chicken. Cover and refrigerate for 1 hour.

• Preheat a grill at high heat. Lightly oil the grill grate.

• Thread chicken onto skewers and grill for about 5 minutes on each side.

To make the sauce: • Melt butter in a large heavy skillet over medium heat.

• Sauté garlic and jalapeno for 1 minute.

• Season with cumin, paprika and salt.

• Stir in tomato sauce and cream.

• Simmer on low heat until sauce thickens, about 20 minutes.

• Add grilled chicken and simmer for 10 minutes.

• Transfer to a serving platter and garnish with fresh cilantro.

• Serve with basmati rice and naan bread.

23

routesmagazine.ca

JAN

FEB

2013

Fitness

Fifty Shades of Fitness

By Trenda Tyschuck

I want to try and maintain my independence all of my life.

I want to be able to walk, dance and socialize with friends NOW and WHEN I GET TO A RIPE OLD AGE.

A

24

s a certified fitness professional specializing in the mature population, I want to share my spice-of-life secret with the public. Shhh… I am starting early (at age 45) with my Fifty Shades of Fitness. Why? Because I want to be able to do the basics when I get to my 80s, 90s, 100s; feeding, clothing and dressing myself. Don’t you?

I am following the lead of some great motivators – notable celebrities I think of as resources: Jane Fonda, who, despite knee and hip replacements keeps on making fitness videos; Richard Simmons, who is still movin’ and groovin’ with pizzazz; and Mary Ann Wilson from the PBS program Sit and Be Fit. I say - don’t knock it ’til you try it couch potato friends!

Most importantly I have my local mentor and idol Shirley Stirling who, at age 78, walks everywhere every day.

She also does line dancing, Nordic pole walking and Zumba and has over 2,000 Curves workouts to her credit. Shirley is a perfect example of being fit in the

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JAN FEB 2013

prime of life. I believe she is fifty shades of fabulous!

Recently I have been witness to many changes within the health and fitness industry. Baby boomers are seeking ways to improve their lifestyles. I think this is an amazing and positive trend! With the rise in obesity, heart disease, diabetes and other health issues it is easy to see why so many people are on the hunt for effective fitness choices.

I also relate from personal experience: I have a husband who had a heart attack at age 50. He is challenging fifty shades of fitness for sure!

Richard Simmons, himself once morbidly obese, said that obese individuals are “committing body suicide”. I believe this harsh statement contains some truth.

You only have one body and you should learn to care for it so you can continue to be physically independent all of your life!

Therefore, I have 50 suggestions for the mature and sometimes grey-haired adult. I made these suggestions into a

contract where you can check off the boxes that interest you and then check your local community for resources such as gym programs, exercise classes and even the library for videos and books.

Join me in my spicy little secret and begin your own quest by committing to my Fifty Shades of Fitness contract.

Trenda Tyschuck is an adult fitness specialist.

She teaches aerobics, zumba, seated zumba, belly dancing and Nordic pole walking in High River.

FIFTY SHADES OF FITNESS CONTRACT I _________________________________________________

hereby agree to try one item on this list per season to complete four items on this list. This contract will consist of one winter, spring, summer and fall activity that I will stick with until completion.

Effective _______________________ (today’s date).

SOFT LIMITS - Basic Exercises

HARD LIMITS

- challenging/adventure exercises

Walk

Luge/bobsled

Nordic pole walk

Bungee jump

Run/jog

Alpine/heli-ski

Nordic/Cross country ski

Roller derby

Hike

Circus activities

Bike/spin

(trapeze, acrobatics)

Rollerblade

Spartan training

Skate

Boxing

Swim

Wall/rock climbing

Volleyball

Snowboarding

Basketball

Surfing

Hockey/shimmy

Martial arts

Baseball/softball Racquet sports

(Judo/Tae Kwon Do/kickboxing)

SCUBA/snorkel

(tennis, badminton, squash)

Horseback riding

Tai Chi

Kayaking

Yoga

Extreme biking

Nia

Spelunking

Pilates

Skijoring

Ballet/Tap/Jazz/Jazzercise

Waterskiing

Zumba/Belly/Bollywood dance

Parasailing

Hawiian/Poi fire dance

Whitewater rafting

Burlesque/pole dance

Cliff diving/basejumping

Two-step/line/square dance Weight training Outdoor fitness parks Archery

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Call Jeff Mooij for info: 403-828-7764

routesmagazine.ca

JAN

FEB

2013

A Day in the LifeSaving

LIFE of a PARAMEDIC

By Pat Fream

26

routesmagazine.ca

Photos by Neville Palmer

They do their job like anyone else – only faster and with lives at stake. Their personalities, ages and backgrounds vary – there is no signature gene that defines the audacious breed of people who grow up, suit up and become first responders in medical emergencies.

JAN FEB 2013

C

hristie Nicholson is all business in her crisp EMS uniform, checking and restocking her ambulance at the beginning of her 12-hour shift in Okotoks. “We have a 90-second chute time,” she explains, meaning she and her partner must be in the ambulance, heading to an emergency within a minute and a half of getting the call. The trick, she informs, is to be ready all the time – ambulance stocked, mind focused, tummy full, bladder empty, boots on.

This day there is a heavy snowfall warning for Calgary and south and the roads are a disaster. Okotoks EMS has two ambulances at the ready, each unit home to a team of two – a paramedic (leading the rank) and an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT). Given the weather, no one is expecting idle time, but this is not the kind of thing you can predict.

“Yesterday we got called out at 8:15 a.m. and we were gone for the whole shift,” says Christie, stuffing extra rubber gloves in a box already overflowing.

Everything about this woman says she doesn’t miss a beat.

It’s tough to fathom how skilled and sharp these people have to be to do their job. They seem eerily subdued as they fill in the minutes waiting for the first alarm of the day; chatting, studying, snacking and taking turns doing hall chores. They appear to operate in two primary gears: low-key idle and full throttle. An underlying alertness and the stiff imposing uniforms (boots on) reinforce the fact that medical emergencies trump vacuuming the common room. Nevertheless, some shifts call for both.

Five hours into the day a call comes and everyone snaps to attention. Christie and her EMT partner Julia board the truck in a flash and I run to catch up and take a seat in the back. It’s game on, beginning with a race.

The intensity of the race is dictated by a code word – Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta or Echo – indicating the level of urgency from least to greatest*. This is a Delta call demanding speed, lights and sirens.

Someone out there is in serious distress.

It’s Julia’s day to drive and despite hellish roads she is dauntless at the wheel.

Christie is her right arm, calmly navigating and detailing the emergency – information gleaned from a computer screen mounted on the dash. Nothing about this scenario says no can do.

As a ride-along passenger, the trip to the emergency scene is harrowing enough. Why aren’t those cars moving out of the way? No one says it out loud but surely a collection of minds are screaming... move it! Julia is a machine – stoic and focused, accelerating then braking and intermittently reaching up to sound the heavy-duty foghorn. Coming through!

When we arrive at the scene the driver and passenger evaporate – gone before I manage to get my seatbelt off. Inside, the atmosphere is charged and too warm.

Authorities in the establishment are well versed in crisis management; they have harnessed the panic and are keeping the gawkers at bay. The medical responders are on a whole new plane, performing a perfectly synced lifesaving routine.

Christie has command of the situation: victim engulfed in her steady attention, a fireman on her left (where did he come from?)** and Julia on the right, passing instruments and answering demands a millisecond before anyone asks. Communication with the victim is constant and reassuring. Pertinent information is gathered and assessed while continuous measures are taken to diagnose and treat.

All three responders know their roles and carry them out with astounding finesse.

When the victim is stable, a mobile stretcher appears delivered by firemen who have been guarding the sidelines.

Publisher’s note: Due to Alberta privacy laws the writer was not permitted to disclose any information revealing the exact nature of the emergency or its location.

*Alpha means no lights or sirens. Anything Bravo or greater demands a ‘hot’ EMS response, a race to the scene with lights flashing and sirens blazing. More information comes in the form of card numbers: Card 29 for a motor vehicle collision, Card 9 for a cardiac arrest, and so on. Computers with GPS, details of the emergency and directives from dispatch are mounted in every EMS truck. **The Fire Department crew also received the Delta call and they arrived first since they were at another call nearby.

Quickfacts •

•

28 •

•

routesmagazine.ca

JAN FEB 2012

Okotoks EMS shares quarters with the Okotoks Fire Department and together the crews respond to calls anywhere in the MD of Foothills including Okotoks, High River, Black Diamond, Turner Valley, Eden Valley, Priddis, Millarville. They may also be called to cover calls in Nanton, Vulcan or Calgary.

EMS, police and firefighters are sometimes called to the same emergency. Police are there to handle traffic and bystanders. Firefighters (many whom are EMRs or EMTs) remove any hazards and help gain access to victims. EMS crews perform acute medical care and transport victims to a care facility. All of their jobs overlap in extreme emergencies.

Historically the field of EMS was male dominated but recent statistics estimate roughly 60/40 male to female.

EMS responds to approximately 1,400 calls in Okotoks annually and to over 5,000 calls annually for the greater MD Foothills area.

Levels of Emergency Responders Emergency Medical Responder (EMR) Three month training that allows individual to perform advanced first aid mainly in industrial settings.

Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) An additional year of training and education that allows participants to work in an EMS setting.

Paramedic An additional two years of training that permits a lead role in an EMS setting. Paramedics can provide Advanced Life Support treatment – which means they can administer medication to patients while transporting them.

Once in the ambulance more time is spent stabilizing and assessing, then it’s off to the hospital, Christie in the back attending to the victim, Julie behind the wheel.

To which hospital the crew is going is a collective decision between the EMS team (assessing the severity of illness or injury) and a central dispatch service that measures other factors like facility equipment, hospital specializations and access. If hospitals or clinics in the area can service the patient (e.g. Okotoks Urgent Care, High River Hospital, Black Diamond Hospital), those get first priority.

For this patient, a Calgary hospital is in order, and just like that they are gone and I am out, my ride-along is over. Notes I took from an earlier interview will have to suffice to fill in the gaps in this half -day in a life...

In a perfect world, the Okotoks EMS crew executes a speedy and uneventful trip to the hospital, they turn the patient over to a skilled medical team and the patient is successfully treated. In a less than perfect world, the patient deteriorates, or worse, parishes en route and the team is forced to stop at a medical facility in the area to receive urgent care or extended treatment. In any event, the Okotoks EMS team does what it takes – exercises any measures called for – simple or extraordinary.

After their trip to Calgary the crew may be able to head back to the station to debrief and restock; they might even have a chance to grab food and coffee along the way.

However, some days there’s barely time for a bathroom break. They go from one call to another and spend the whole shift either responding to emergencies or transferring patients between facilities.

As I reflect on the day, I wonder how they cope, crisis after crisis, shift after shift. I know about the work-related protocols and programs: debriefing, counselling and a gym on the premise for before and after work. But the real support seems to resonate between the EMS crew members and all first responders. They are bound by courage – heroes at large.

A

t age 30, Christie Nicholson has a lifetime of EMS experience, having grown up with a father who was a paramedic in Calgary. Destined for a similar path, she completed nearly four years of training in Calgary and then experienced several remote rural placements before landing her current position in Okotoks.

Today, with nearly nine years on the job, Christie acknowledges that her profession demands strength, stamina and fast thinking under extreme pressure, but names communication as the skill she prizes the most. She explains that first responders have to deal with people who are commonly injured, hysterical, in shock, intoxicated, overwhelmed and/or sometimes hostile.

29

Communicating with them is pivotal – the key to getting cooperation and the information she needs to do her job. Married and the mother of a three-year-old boy, Christie commutes from Calgary, explaining that she wouldn’t want to live where she works as that might make responding to emergencies too personal.

routesmagazine.ca

JAN

FEB

2013

Detours

When popular Routes contributor Peter Worden of Nanton announced that he was moving to Nunavut for a six-month stint to work for Northern News Services, none of us were jealous… but we were certainly curious!

Here is his first report from the great Canadian Arctic.

EXPERIMENT The Nanton Nunavut

Special Baffin Island Edition – Semi-fictional news from in and around the Arctic Circle Story and photos by Peter Worden

EDITORIAL:

No. 1

Southern Alberta journalist reports live from Nunavut

IQALUIT WEATHER: Today:

Cold, mostly dark Tomorrow:

Dark

Long-weekend:

dark, dark, dark

.......................................................................................................

Iqaluit, NU – I arrived in Nunavut your typical southern journalist familiar with neither the political, social nor really even actual landscape of the territory.

At 63° North, Iqaluit’s not quite in the Arctic Circle but it’s close enough. While Nunavut’s (and Canada’s) northernmost Inuitinhabited community of Grise Fiord plunges into 24-hour darkness on Halloween (spooky), Iqaluit receives just over 18 hours a day of real darkness in the winter.

Stay tuned for the next winter report – armchair meteorologist opens patio door and deems it “truly unpleasant.”

.......................................................................................................

News? Everything was news.

Every polar bear sauntering into a hamlet somewhere, every near-apocalyptic blizzard, every $20 gourd at the grocery store; it all seemed pretty newsworthy to me. And yet, it wasn’t – not here.

It’s easy spotting news in a place so new its license plates begin with 000. Indeed, the newest, northernmost, 2-million square kilometre territory boasts not a single traffic light,

highway or tree. But in Iqaluit (pronounced Ick-hal-oo-weet) no Inuk is amazed when it snows in August, no local elementary school student is shocked at the sight of a seal being skinned on the gymnasium floor, and no one is alarmed when they walk 65 kilometres and fail to see another human being (there are only 33,330 people living on this land the size of Western Europe).

Far be it for me then, a total outsider, to report on and

attempt to educate the southern masses with this dubious, semifictional news lampoonery. This Nunavut Experiment is merely a reincarnation of a mockumentary-style report I once scribed in Nanton. And like the Nanton Experiment, the following socalled “news” is only 40 per cent true, meant purely in fun, and would never pass as actual news anywhere – north or south or snorth.

IN OTHER NEWS:

Disaster!

Sewage removal and water delivery truck drivers accidentally swap keys; disconcerting mix-up categorized as a ‘Level-5 SNAFU’.

Homeowners in Nunavut’s hamlets and many in Iqaluit receive daily water and sewer service. Each day, trucks fill up water tanks and empty sewage indicated by a red light on the sides of houses.

Homeowners pray drivers hopped in the correct truck that morning.

IN OTHER FICTIONAL NEWS: Commission called to look into the rotundity of the Territory’s ravens. “Seriously, they’re freaking huge,”says one local.

ON THE FOOD FRONT:

Nunavut is home to some of the planet’s most expensive hankerings.

30

RECENT ROAD STUDY:

Husbands relieved there’s no need to ask directions in Iqaluit In Nunavut, you can drive around aimlessly forever and never get lost because roads only go as far as needed in a community then loop around or stop. There are no formal addresses, or roads connecting towns, although in Iqaluit there is a Road to Nowhere (actually). In Iqaluit, taxies run on a flat rate of $6 anywhere in the city and with a population of only 7,000, taxi drivers know every single house. They also often pick up other passengers en route.

routesmagazine.ca

JAN FEB 2013

The grocery store sells buckets of frozen KFC flown in from Ottawa for $55. For my part, I can pass on the Colonel but cannot give up bacon.

Some mornings I feel positively rock starish blowing a cool hundy on breakfast meats. At any rate, I’ve given up equating products in real-world dollars. I now measure cost in fish instead of dollars to help pretend-keep prices in perspective, e.g. one beer = two fish. That way, KFC is really only F11.

SEAT SALE!

Flights from Calgary to Iqaluit now slightly less than return-ticket to Beijing - barely.

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routesmagazine.ca

JAN

FEB

2013

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