Ars Literarium Volume III by Rutgers New Jersey Medical School

Ars Literarium Volume III

Ars Literarium Volume III Ars Literarium is published annually by the Healthcare Foundation Center for Humanism and Medicine at Rutgers New Jersey Medical School

Ars Literarium Volume III

Ars Literarium Council Members Dorian J. Wilson, MD Director of the Healthcare Foundation Center for Humanism and Medicine, Rutgers New Jersey Medical School Tanya Norment Program Administrator of the Healthcare Foundation Center for Humanism and Medicine, Rutgers New Jersey Medical School

Faculty Advisors Beth A. Pletcher, MD Associate Professor of Pediatrics and Medicine, Rutgers New Jerseyy Medical School Andrew Berman, MD Professor of Medicine, Rutgers New Jersey Medical School Editors-In-Chief Nehal Dhaduk, MS-1 Monica Maloney, MS-1 Editors Taylor Carlsen, MS-1 Sameera Chaudhry, MS-1 Deeya Das, MS-1 Nithisha Prasad, MS-1

Acknowledgements Ars Literariumâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s annual publication is possible due to the support of The Healthcare Foundation Center for Humanism and Medicine at Rutgers New Jersey Medical School. With special appreciation and gratitude to The Healthcare Foundation of New Jersey for their generous support. Thank you to Tanya Norment, Dr. Pletcher, and Dr. Berman for their advice, mentorship, and guidance throughout the year. Additionally, we would like to extend a special thank you to Joshua Schor, MD, FACP, CMD for his generous donation which has been used to help cover the cost of publishing and printing Volume III.

Ars Literarium Volume III

Mission Statement Ars Literarium seeks to express the medical narrative through the creative voices of the members of Rutgers Biomedical Health Sciences in Newark, NJ. The journal provides an outlet for members of the community, who spend endless hours managing the stresses and responsibilities of patient care, to find peace through creative expression. Transforming memories or emotions from an intense day spent with patients into words or visual art allows for a stronger, healthier connection to the self and a deeper appreciation of the patient perspective.

For information, inquiries, and submissions, please email us at: ars.literarium@gmail.com

Dear Reader, Welcome to the third volume of Ars Literarium.

Late last year, we invited members of the Rutgers Biomedical and Health Sciences and University Hospital communities to share creative works that fit the theme of the medical narrative. We interpreted the concept of narrative medicine to mean the written or artistic reflection of experiences had whilst providing patient care or preparing to do so in the future. Our invitation to contribute to such a venture revealed the remarkable artistic and literary abilities of our diverse healthcare community of doctors, nurses, dentists, other healthcare professionals, faculty members, and students. We are incredibly proud to share this collection of short stories, poems, photographs, sketches, and paintings - reflections of our shared humanity. They have inspired us to incorporate more introspection and awareness into our lives, and we hope that they will do the same for you. Regards, Editors of Ars Literarium

Ars Literarium Volume III

Table of Contents Cover Image by Deeya Das

Clay by Sharon Gonzales, MD

NJMS Stands Against Gun Violence by Beth A. Pletcher, MD

Today’s Pain, Tomorrow’s Triumph by Sukari Williams-Murray

Where does the fire go? by Latoya A. Jones

The Life Saved by Katherine Baranowski, MD

14-15

Wisdom by Sukari Williams-Murrayy

Perspective by Kelli Gaul

The Collector by Brittany Gladney, MD

Camano Island, Washington by Alexandra Naides

Frequent Flyer by Thomas Tritt

Being Human by Sukari Williams-Murrayy

Ode to an EKG by Elena Dolmatova, MD

Beauty of the West Coast by Nusrat Epsi

Change by Sukari Williams-Murrayy

Mantra by Ryan Dikdan

Waiting Room by Kelli Gaul

Stories Untold by Sukari Williams-Murrayy

Cranial Nerves by Hoa Pham

Rebirth by Jessica Sher

Still Do by Hilda Aluko, MSN

Bounty by Kelli Gaul

Something that happens to others by Elena Dolmatova, MD

Pins and... by Kelli Gaul

Let there be light by Latoya A. Jones

Peritoneal Cavity by Stephanie Ruthberg

The Hypocenter of Little Girl Hex by Latoya A. Jones

The World for a Second by Joseph Legaspi

A Place for a Physician by Jared Radbel, MD

Being a Doctor Outside the Hospital by Thomas Tritt

Rama by Sushil Malhotra

Helpless by Hilda Aluko, MSN

Omental Bursa by Stephanie Ruthberg

The Autopsy by John Calvin Chatlos, MD

Breathe by Milagros Seddiki Avila

44-45

Ars Literarium Volume III

Clay I have been there On the edge of a person’s existence A reluctant observer to bear witness Of the passing of a life The gravity of solemnity Leaves me speechless in respect The duty of medicine is to delay this But the inevitable cannot be denied Whether they arrived At the destination of a long, painful journey Or the sudden, violent halt of a hectic life The end seems the same I know what actually changes The persistent heart stops moving blood Tiny electric signals degrade to randomness No rise or fall stirs the chest I watch as the human fades Whatever essence that made them…them Seems to evaporate, dissolve into the ether As they cease to be I can’t help but feel That something final has happened That something vital is now missing Gone to whatever beyond They become silent They become still Who once was Becomes… Clay.

Sharon Gonzales, MD Assistant Professor of Radiology Rutgers New Jersey Medical School 10

NJMS Stands Against Gun Violence

National School Walkout for Gun Safety

March 14, 2018 NJMS Courtyard

Beth A. Pletcher, MD Associate Professor of Pediatrics and Medicine Rutgers New Jersey Medical School 11

Ars Literarium Volume III

Today’s Pain, Tomorrow’s Triumph

Sukari Williams-Murray Class of 2018 Rutgers School of Graduate Studies 12

Where does the fire go? Where does the fire go? The fire that fuels us In our youth. The uncompromising fire! Where does the fire go? Down? Into the ground To warm the hole for us? The fire that made us burn With desire and raaaage The Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll-live-forever fire! Where does the fire go? Up? Into the sky to be The light that calls us? The fire that blinded us From fear. No fear. The idontgiveaf---fire! Where does the fire go? In? Into the ocean To ready the storm? The fire with passion As its fashion The take-all-of-me fire! Where does the fire go? Does it burn out? Into smoke sending An S.O.S.? I see smoke, but no fire. Ashes, no heat A heart without a beat.

Latoya A. Jones PhD Candidate - Urban Systems Rutgers University - Newark 13

Ars Literarium Volume III

The Life Saved During a busy Pediatric Emergency Department shift, I scan the board to see what patients are waiting to be seen. I had just transferred a child to the Intensive Care Unit and was playing catch-up. The next complaint was a simple one-“fell off skateboard and injured foot.” I saw the nurse wheel a ten-year-old boy to the stretcher and immediately recognized him and his mom.

Ten years ago, a five-month-old baby I will call Johnny was brought into the Pediatric Emergency Department barely breathing. The mom reported that the child was left in the care of her then-boyfriend, and when she returned the baby was lethargic with severe head trauma. He reportedly fell two feet from a low bed to the floor. The baby was found to have subdural hematomas, acute and chronic, and also multiple rib fractures and retinal hemorrhages. This was how the horror of “shaken baby syndrome” or the newer nomenclature “nonaccidental head injury” began for this mother. We resuscitated the baby and he spent months in the critical care unit and then a rehabilitation facility.

I have seen Johnny several times in the emergency department since that monstrous day for relatively minor complaints. Mom always expressed her gratitude that “I saved his life.” I reply with embarrassed appreciation and remind her of the large teams of people who helped Johnny recover. She gently insists with reverence that I was the first person to help Johnny and will dismiss any other comments I make.

Johnny is now ten years old. He is able to walk and talk, but he has significant global delays. He still bears the large scar on his left skull where the hair has never regrown. It has a distorted “Mark-of-Zorro-meets-Harry-Potter” shape, and I am certain other children mock him. I know it is the type of scar that attracts unwanted attention on a daily basis. I am not sure if he is aware of the stares that it brings, but certainly it serves as a constant reminder of that day to his mom. Johnny is now old enough to repeat his mom’s praises to me: he says with the innocence of the perpetual child: “My mom says you saved my life!” I respond to him with the usual euphemisms and remind him how special and strong he and his mom are.

Johnny’s mom is particularly tearful about his skateboarding accident. He fell while trying to use a skateboard like some other children in the neighborhood. He certainly lacks the coordination to use this type of toy and has a small fracture in the foot, nothing that will not heal. Mom feels guilty because she waited a full day to have the area checked. This morning she had an interview for a new job, which she had to miss in order to care for her son. The perpetrator for the crime that altered Johnny’s life is still incarcerated and Mom moved on to several new relationships, but is alone now. She is his sole caregiver except for the time he spends in school. As she repeats her mantra today, I hear her words of praise for the life “saved,” but reflecting back at me is the profound sorrow of the loss of the life that could have been, should have been. She tries to pick him up as if her were still a baby to put him in the wheelchair to leave as he cannot coordinate using crutches. As they leave, Johnny gives me a hug and I offer mom help if she has any difficulties getting his follow up care.

The Emergency Medicine residents typically start their shift with a mantra of “go save a life!” with unjaundiced enthusiasm. They are young, and they anxiously wait to become accomplished at the procedures they crave. There are diverse biblical and cultural references to the relationships of the “saver” and person whose life is 14

“saved.” The Talmud reads “Whoever destroys a soul, it is considered as if he destroyed an entire world. And whoever saves a life, it is considered as if he saved an entire world.” I reflect on these words in the context of the victim as an innocent baby. Certainly the perpetrator shattered this woman’s world. Who is now responsible for this child with a lifelong disability? Movie culture commonly dictates whenever someone saves another’s life he is responsible for that life forever. Is he somehow responsible for me? Johnny’s reality is far from the Hollywoo all’s well that ends well theme.

The interaction that morning does give me the motivation to continue to work in an environment where neglect and abuse are tolerated. The reality is this child still needs to be “saved” out in the real world, day to day, or as we say in emergency medicine, “24-7-365”. My prayer for him is that society continues to save his life.

Katherine Baranowski, MD, FAAP, FACEP Interim Chief Division of Pediatric Emergency Medicine Rutgers New Jersey Medical School 15

Ars Literarium Volume III

Wisdom

Sukari Williams-Murray Class of 2018 Rutgers School of Graduate Studies 16

Perspective

Kelli Gaul MD/PhD Candidate - First year medical student Rutgers New Jersey Medical School 17

Ars Literarium Volume III

The Collector I’m not cold I’m conditioned Conditioned to show my concern Non-traditionally. The curtain is pulled back. I watch fear flit out of of the room Leaving behind seashells Cracked. Physical exam noted. There’s no evidence based plan For fear. You have questions. I’ll map out the answers. Yes, a tree grows in Brooklyn But no trees can grow here Where it’s not safe. You must learn to trust strangers. The way you trust your car with the mechanic The way you slide your computer to the tech Except-you can’t leave your body And come back around one When it’s done. No. You’ll have to stay. Take up residence. Your to-do list at home is full but this takes precedence. I’ll try to make it easier By avoiding foreign tongues Rooted in dead languages And intellectual didactics. I’ll slip on nitrile gloves to avoid skin contact. I’ll tie the strings of the mask to keep my identity intact. I’ll try to make it easier. I promise you won’t notice a trusted stranger Walking into the room Collecting seashells.

Brittany Gladney, MD Internal Medicine PGY-3 Rutgers New Jersey Medical School 18

Camano Island, Washington

Alexandra Naides Class of 2021 Rutgers New Jersey Medical School 19

Ars Literarium Volume III

Frequent Flyer It was about 8:00 am and my patient had already called me into her room 4 times. “I can’t take it anymore. I’m frustrated, no one will listen to me.” She gets up and starts pacing around the room with her limited capacity to walk. Every time I try to sit down to write my note she comes to the door, stares at me, and yells “Tom I’m frustrated.”

Here is a 34 year old female with a history of end-stage renal disease (ESRD) on hemodialysis, type 1 diabetes with peripheral vascular disease and tricuspid valve regurgitation. Initially, she presented with diffuse facial swelling and a massively distended abdomen. (For those not in medicine, the tricuspid valve is on the right side of the heart and when it doesn’t close properly you get fluid backing up in your abdomen, legs and face.) Every day she complained of her vaginal pain, abdominal pain and leg swelling.

After a few days I grew desensitized to the complaining because all she would ask for was hydromorphone. It became a constant fight between me and the physician who saw her labeled as a “frequent flyer” in the medical records, “pseudo-addicted”. The physician believed she was withdrawing from hospital-induced opioids. Meanwhile she is telling me she is experiencing extreme anxiety from her pain. To add to our dilemma, pain management recommended nothing but hydromorphone to manage her pain. The consults on her case included vascular, psychiatry, physical therapy, rheumatology, nephrology, pain management and cardiology (The million dollar workup).

I really wanted to understand what was going on here because something wasn’t right by my estimation. Only after sitting down and hearing her story did I learn that she was adopted and recently lost her biological aunt, her only biological relative, and the only person she felt really cared about her. “I’m thirty-four why should this be happening to me? I’m tired of these doctors calling me a frequent flyer. I’m not a drug addict”, she remarked. As this was happening, she started crying in front of me. I could see the tears of pain, frustration and sadness rolling down her face. I was at a total loss of words. She was truly in pain.

Eventually I was able to convince the attending of the true etiology of her pain, but the point that I learned is that you cannot bring the prejudice of the medical record and other physicians into your assessment. Sadly, I was devastated to hear that she died a few weeks later. Terms like “frequent flyer” are hurtful and desensitizing to patients. They display the negative connotation as if they want to be there, but in reality most of these patients have chronic debilitating diseases that don’t have a cure-all solution. Patients really appreciate the listening ear of the medical student. This is a critical aspect of the healing process which should not go overlooked.

Thomas Tritt Class of 2019 Rutgers New Jersey Medical School 20

Being Human

Sukari Williams-Murray Class of 2018 Rutgers School of Graduate Studies 21

Ars Literarium Volume III

Ode to an EKG I saw you once and that was it! Your elegance and mystery of you Were so enchanting, I admit, I gladly gave my heart to you! The simple curving of your lines Embraces World’s complexity in them. Both life and death have their signs. You may release and may condemn... Oh, you! Your influence is vast! With your help only, one can guess One’s future, present and the past, And change one’s life-no more no less!

Elena Dolmatova, MD Internal Medicine PGY-3 Rutgers New Jersey Medical School 22

Beauty of the West Coast

Nusrat Epsi PhD Candidate - Department of Health Informatics Rutgers School of Health Professions 23

Ars Literarium Volume III

Change

Sukari Williams-Murray Class of 2018 Rutgers School of Graduate Studies 24

Mantra I’m concerned about my head, Not that some meningitis might fight me, and make me dead. Not that there’s an infiltration, dilation, or strange sensation. Despite, no, because all of the things I know I’m scared. I used to work with a real good friend, We’d talk and share stories about how his grandmother was so Italian, And I tried desperately to connect with this one fact since I wanted him to like me, so that we can laugh like he does with others all the time My friends name was… I used to sing in an amazing chorus that revolutionized the industry. A chorus guided by a director, a captain, guiding us through the Sea symphony. This man made an impact in me that I was unable to repay as I had to leave And his name was… I have an aunt that I don’t speak to anymore, it all started when she got cancer… Cancer, CANCER, WHAT KIND?? I KNOW WHAT ALL IS. I KNOW LEUKEMIAS PRETTY WELL BUT NOT THE SOLID STUFF SO WELL. AT LEAST I CAN EXPLAIN THE MECHANISMS OF CHEMOTHERAPY, AND LASERS LIKE THAT ONE DRUG THAT CROSSLINKS DNA THAT’S MORE VALUABLE THAN gold… My aunt’s dog’s name is… I feel like Theseus’s ship, but not in the means of cells but ideas. Where each part of us can be replaced by some other ideals, you would think that it would free us. I’m trapped in the body of a person with a past that I don’t necessarily agree with. Not only do I struggle along the lines of everyone else, but… With every drug, with every syndrome, and bacterium I can feel it all disappearing. I can’t count on my fingers the number of birthdays I can’t remember. I’m becoming a doctor for others, but I’m sacrificing my time, and more importantly I’m sacrificing my memories of those that made me want to become who I am. I’m concerned about my head. Ananatomical concern, like when the meteors coming, too much to learn, Expecting freedom and revelation, but just spouting a frustrating mantra of: Uhmm…

Ryan Dikdan MD/PhD Candidate - First year medical student Rutgers New Jersey Medical School 25

Ars Literarium Volume III

Waiting Room

Kelli Gaul MD/PhD Candidate - First year medical student Rutgers New Jersey Medical School 26

Stories Untold

Sukari Williams-Murray Class of 2018 Rutgers School of Graduate Studies 27

Ars Literarium Volume III

Cranial Nerves I.

A silent scene of incensed mourning full of fuzzy figments lulls the dead into life with stupefying scent and charm of altar incandescent:

VII.

On the sidewalk a child falls and cries for justice, but just until a hot dog, come complete for redress, draws a smile from the kid, no less.

II.

Streaming in, the light of new morning makes a Lazarus of this dreamer clearing out the memory of death ‘til but pillows and soft sheets remain.

VIII.

How apt to hear behind that tableau a Joplin rag on the radio, and think about a tightrope driver teetering across a dark abyss,

III.

Now the woken, supine, stares straight up waiting for the eyes to clarify all the haze of violent rebirth while brooding over a lifeless grudge—

IX.

As a rogue traveler loses hold on the road moving the other way— brazen crash—no time to swallow fear, nor regret follies from yesteryear—

IV.

No more, let’s go—down the corridor outside to reel in a dear, blue shirt, the sail of a boat borne ceaselessly into the past on squeaky pulleys.

Nor become a vagrant following the whimsy of your young, racing heart; nor croon off-key a visceral tune you felt one summer beneath the stars.

A toothbrush prods a truculent tooth soothed by a creamy baked potato while in the back three paintings snicker: each a pair of eldritch, scheming twins.

XI.

Pinned against a fateful seat gasping, trying to shrug away the burden of this un-Homeric spectacle; turning, at last, away from it all

VI.

Gazing in, spying out on a cloud built like a misty, wistful windmill, the dreamer remembers a time when— but it’s quixotic—and drives away.

XII.

To muster some faint words of prayer with eyes shut; foreseeing for once the certainty of this mystery, the driver began to dream again.

Hoa Pham MD/PhD Candidate - First year PhD student Rutgers New Jersey Medical School 28

Rebirth

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls.” - Kahlil Gibran

Jessica Sher Class of 2021 Rutgers New Jersey Medical School 29

Ars Literarium Volume III

Still Do You give the brain the medicine You cannot ignore the bodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s need for its own medicine You feed the body You try to counsel the brain-mind-body disconnect You meet frustration mingled in precontemplation that exposes vulnerability, Yet You acknowledge the need You continue to give You feed You never ignore You reattempt to counsel You still doâ&#x20AC;Ś

Hilda Aluko, MSN, FNP-BC, APN-C Family Nurse Practitioner Rutgers School of Nursing, Rutgers Community Health Center 30

Bounty

Kelli Gaul MD/PhD Candidate - First year medical student Rutgers New Jersey Medical School 31

Ars Literarium Volume III

Something that happens to others Back in the day you were caring, prudent, bighearted, But you have evolved since that day when you started. You see problems as challenge and patients as puzzles, And death... is just something that happens to others... Day after day with hundreds of faces... Until that one instance stands out from the races. Someone you knew or were somehow connected Or someone’s demise was just unexpected... You heart was not shielded, one could feel in the air The infinite pain and the endless despair… Mother lost children or sisters lost brothers, And death was no longer what happened to others... … With days floating by, impressions fading like flowers Quite soon you are back to your emotional covers. You see pain as pager that goes off and bothers, And death once again is what happens to others...

Elena Dolmatova, MD Internal Medicine PGY-3 Rutgers New Jersey Medical School 32

Pins and...

Kelli Gaul MD/PhD Candidate - First year medical student Rutgers New Jersey Medical School 33

Ars Literarium Volume III

Let there be light Let there be light let you be lit by it the light in my eyes let it bathe you the light you see Is all my positive energy Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been touched by you and now I am positively charged let it shine let it shine this love of mine

Latoya A. Jones PhD Candidate - Urban Systems Rutgers University - Newark 34

Peritoneal Cavity

Stephanie Ruthberg Class 2020 Rutgers New Jersey Medical School 35

Ars Literarium Volume III

The Hypocenter of Little Girl Hex

Total destruction is not the only solution. Peace on Earth already! The chemical structure on the back of her dress stands for uranium hexafluoride which was used to develop the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima during WWII which was nicknamed “Little Boy”. The idea of giving a nickname to a bomb diminishes the death and disaster it will certainly bring. The chemical structure on her head is for acetaminophen, symbolizing the relief I was seeking from a headache, pain, mental anguish I was feeling from the violence and suffering wars perpetuates. The world is at war or in conflict. Now I wonder if peace has become passé and if we are becoming blasé about war.

Latoya A. Jones PhD Candidate - Urban Systems Rutgers University - Newark 36

The World for a Second If for a second, he could travel, Out of his world and take a tour Of our world of words, he’d marvel At speaking so lovely and pure. If for a second, he could see Beyond his world of autism, He’ll find there’s no “you” and “me” But only “we”. If for a second he could speak, He’ll tell you he’d gladly give up His dreams for just one peek Into the reality that is yours. If for a second he could hear The sound of his loved ones kiss On his cheek, he’d shed a tear, That they’re as warm and real as his. If for a moment, he could know That his doctors have hope, That they admire his will, and The way that he copes. If for a moment, he could forget The autism, and feel his loving home, Though he seems so lonely, he’d know That he will never be alone…

Joseph Legaspi Office of Research Program Coordinator Rutgers School of Dental Medicine 37

Ars Literarium Volume III

Being a Doctor Outside of the Hospital Over the course of our medical careers you will be faced with many situations where you will have to think: do I be a bro, or do the professional thing? It is difficult because when you leave the hospital your mindset changes, leaving yourself at risk for making stupid decisions. Some decisions aren’t as easy as do I give my friend Oxy who’s asking for them? What if your coworker is admitted and someone asks you to check to see how she’s doing in the medical record? Do you do it?

I was recently put in an uncomfortable situation at my local library. I overheard an elderly man and a few of his family members talking in the quiet section about his heart issues and saw him flipping through books on the heart. He didn’t really seem to know what he was doing, so as I was leaving I just introduced myself and asked if he had any general questions or needed a resource I could direct him to. He was thrilled that I presented myself and proceeded to fire questions my way. “I just had a CABG, stents placed, and a pacemaker placed, why am I still feeling short of breath when I get up to walk? What exactly is happening here?” Suddenly, I was taken to a different train of thought; one that you experience when you are rounding. You become hypervigilant, expecting questions from any direction, always calculating what to say given the situation and what is expected of you.

Everyone reading this with medical background knows this diagnosis as classic congestive heart failure, a term I did not want to use with this relative stranger. I proceeded to answer him in very generic terms, but here I am in a library where other people could hear what I was saying. I was somewhat uncomfortable having other people hear this medical information. I made sure that he would ask these questions to his cardiologist on Monday, successfully answering his questions which was my goal, and he seemed overjoyed by it.

Now thinking about it, did I do the right thing? I’m not really sure, but I’m sure situations like this will come up often. I even had this debate with myself before the situation happened. I think just going with your gut feeling is the most appropriate approach to handling these situations.

Thomas Tritt Class of 2019 Rutgers New Jersey Medical School 39

Ars Literarium Volume III

Rama

Sushil Malhotra Server Administrator - Information Systems & Technology University Hospital 40

Helpless Helpless... In the midst of help Seeking help Yet Running away from help Then returning to “Status quo” Satisfied just for the moment And beginning again to search for help Seeking, yearning, running, returning, beginning… Helpless.

Hilda Aluko, MSN, FNP-BC, APN-C Family Nurse Practitioner Rutgers School of Nursing, Rutgers Community Health Center 41

Ars Literarium Volume III

Omental Bursa

Stephanie Ruthberg Class 2020 Rutgers New Jersey Medical School 42

The Autopsy It was lying there, a dead weight, Eviscerated, bathed in oxygenated scarlet; Tagged as the journeyman’s bag, hollowed out as a pumpkin for the soulless evening, Integrity invaded as the interior seedlings, for which the protective coverings entombed, were scooped from their fruitful body. Remaining lies a shell – a hollow symbol of its reminiscent significance. For here lies the mysterious magnificence, the ultimate machinations of matter ---a man. A man…speechless, cold, heartless, and lifeless. Though cloaked, as was Joseph, in the pigmented trappings of life – Apollo’s yellow, sanguine red, clay and earth tinted coverings, Almost, this fancy is jest of the living appearance. For the living have not this displayed cast. But this shell, this hollow form arrayed thus… Where?...Where?...is that which I know? The man…that struggled, that laughed, that played, that loved. The man…like my father, who guided, who showed, who taught, who learned, who felt… Where does one touch this matter now? This man gone…for but an entropic change.

John Calvin Chatlos, MD Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry Rutgers Robert Wood Johnson Medical School 43

Ars Literarium Volume III

Breathe I inhale all that is And I exhale all that is not. Pollution, smoke, chemicals, Gases. Scents, vapors, mist Positive energy, negative energy Enough to choke a breathless world, Beneath the mind A beating heart Pumping true blood, The veins rushing blood into the heart Whispering to the lungs To settle down. The chest contracts Downward The chest wall Outward goes A mist of air, a song of rhymes, Inhale, exhale, inhale A game of wheeze That holds the beat Of the breaths That keep my life a whole

Milagros Seddiki Avila Class of 2018 Rutgers School of Health Professions 44

Breathe

Milagros Seddiki Avila Class of 2018 Rutgers School of Health Professions 45

Ars Literarium Volume III